#rooted in canon content

[iamumbra195]

I hate when people talk about Ashler like it’s inconceivable to ship them.

They’ll be like “Oh, they had so much beef, they’re barely even friends.” Genuinely asking here, have you even read the webtoon if you think that?

Tyler had issues with practically everyone at the beginning, hell, most of the kids didn’t even like each other. Ben, Aiden, Ashlyn, and Logan all thought he was a jerk and he was acting like one because he was trying to protect himself and Taylor and the whole situation was stressful as hell. That’s why his character development is so good. Even Ashlyn remarks that he’s being less of a jerk in one chapter and Taylor says that he's begun to see the others as real friends, maybe even family.

They all eventually became allies and then friends, including Ashlyn and Tyler. Sure, they like to throw some sarcastic remarks at each other but that’s just their sense of humour and part of the appeal of their friendship. Same with Aiden and Tyler, they insult each other all the time but the insults that were originally meant to hurt are now used affectionately.

He gave Ashlyn a nickname guys. He gave a jokey nickname to cheer her up because she felt terrible about the fact that she had to leave him behind while he got terribly hurt, while he died. She literally started crying out of guilt and being overwhelmed by the whole situation. She cares about him and he cares about her and the whole gang cares about each other, which is why there are so many ships in the fandom to begin with.

So stop acting like anyone who ships Ashler is stupid and stop saying ‘they’re like siblings’ on every post about them. We know it’s probably not gonna be canon, hell, Red herself said romance isn’t the focus of the webtoon at all.

I don’t even like shipping in general but the TikTok fandom keeps pissing me off. Stop acting like everyone has to ship the same things as you and stop commenting shit like ‘cute edit but I wish it was Aidlyn’ or ‘They’re just friends, they act like siblings’. Like yeah, they’re not canon but you’d have to be blind if you couldn’t see why some people ship it. Stop shitting on people’s ships and let them have their fun, we all know they’re not canon.

NONE OF THEM ARE.

Anyway, that’s the end of my rant. Sorry, I keep getting Ashler hate every time I search it up on TikTok. It’s so stupid and annoying, let people ship who they want in peace and stop undermining Ashlyn and Tyler's canon friendship and character development to shit on people’s ships. It’s an insult to the characters and your ability to read between the lines.

Live, Laugh, Love Ashler.

[hana-bobo-finch]

There are two wolves inside of me. one of them wants to make a five hour video essay on roots and the other knows that that will never happen

[captainspaulding]

i hope all scarecrow x riddler fans get blown up forever and ever amen

[spannardnation]

iv had a dream to overtake canon couples for a hot minute now, we are setting our sights mark my fucking words we will leave them in the DUST pretty soon

[jellyfish-grave]

I FORGOT TO POST THIS ON AKEMI'S BIRTHDAY HI

[tonycries]

STRONGEST - G.S.

Synopsis. The strongest. The most feraI. Gojo Satoru’s powers aren’t the only thing that goes out of control after a battle.

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, fix-it, Shinjuku showdown, Gojo wins, established relationship, FÉRAL Gojo, Gojo’s powers, ínnapropriate use of jujutsu, oraI (fem. rec), fíngering, limitless, pússydrúnk Gojo, máting presses, overstím, rough s, he’s a little bit ínsane, brief male mast., size kínk, tummy buIges, squírting, cervíx kíssing, p sIapping, making him whíne, happy ending, pet names, swéaring.

Word count. 8.2k

A/N. I’m Gege I say this is canon mhm.

BIoody. Broken. Breathing.

Only that last one came from Gojo Satoru— the sole person in the entirety of Shinjuku’s ravaged battleground that was. 

Twitching, he could sense sorcerers rushing out of their hiding spots to inspect the disintegrating, blob-like form of the former King of Curses before they even moved. Others sprinting medical instruments towards Fushiguro’s sprawled-out - alive, Gojo made sure to keep his boy alive - figure.

Not many dared to step towards the strongest, who towered in the midst of the chaos. 

After all, it was only Itadori who could grit his teeth and force himself to walk through the waves upon waves of magnetic cursed energy radiating off of his teacher. Bulldozing, gasping- “G-Gojo-sensei!”

And all at once, the power ceases. 

For the first time since the showdown started, everyone could finally breathe without the pressure of over a thousand sorcerers emanating from the body of one man.

That is, until Gojo snaps his eyes behind and mankind flinches. “I need my wife.”

Oh.

By destroying one monster, they might just have created another. 

.

.

.

You didn’t want to be here - you couldn’t.

Planted prettily like some prized porcelain doll behind the countless wards of the Gojo Estate, its location so classified that it wasn’t disclosed to even you.

You knew why you were here; your husband may be the strongest, but that didn’t stop Ryomen Sukuna from being the most treacherous. And in the unfortunate fate where he might’ve - heavens forbid - won, it was obvious that one of his next targets would be you.

A war prize for a war-bringer.

Your chest tightens at the notion, and you’re struggling to manually lug in smoggy pants- no, that couldn’t happen. Fingers seconds away from shattering the dainty ceramic bowl of tea that you’d made out of pure nerves, it couldn’t.

“Damn higher-ups.” You’re hissing into the now-frigid drink, and yet it still blisters down your tastebuds. Almost as much as the memory of those orders to stay put lest you wanted something to happen to Gojo’s precious students. A warning. A threat. “Leaving me here to rot- fuck, when I get out I’m going to kill those ol’ toads- oh!”

Your sip of tea was a tightened ball of lead that simply refused to go past your larynx– and your brows furrow as the pale glass slips like water flowing between your fingers.

Tumbling. Shattering a puddling splash on the tatami-covered floor below.

And yet, you don’t even remember weakening your grasp - almost as if the cup was magnetized towards the edge of your decadent bedroom. 

“I must be going mad.” You’re muttering to yourself, feeling even more so as you do. Shaking your head to some semblance of clearance, you crouch down with a sigh to pick up the chipped shards-

Only to find that the ground was trembling. 

What…the fuck? Urgently smoothing the mountains of your palm flat on the firm mats below, it felt like something was thundering. Rampaging. 

Something was happening. 

You should run, you should surrender. 

But you stay rooted to where you are, feeling the tips of your ears tingle with a whirrrr of energy clashing against energy, a monstrous sort of crackling power in the air. Tummy tensing as the ancient protective jujutsu of the estate bends and bends and bends - generations of power that snaps!

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.

Right in time with three sharp, repeated raps from behind the paper-thin sliding doors to your chamber. 

Impatient. 

It certainly couldn’t be one of the elders, they’d no sooner left you here to brace the impact of Sukuna’s looming victory and die rather than keep you company. Perhaps one of Gojo’s students? Shoko?

The King of Curses himself? 

Squinting at the yolky outline of shadows drawn by the setting sun, your heart soars at the shape of those familiar broad shoulders and unruly hair.

Ones you could never mistake.

“Sa…Satoru.” You’re breathing, voice strangled as if not even your own words believed you. 

Your calves sting with the impact of your running before you even register it- Satoru. Satoru was behind this door. Satoru won. 

Almost out of breath once you reach the entrance, it’s all you can do to startle out a happy chuckle as your finger knot on the lattice handle and draaaag it open– “Sato- oh.”

Except…the man behind the door wasn’t your husband at all.

At least, not a version of your husband that you knew.

Because the Gojo rampant at the door was slouching, heaving.

Loooong, rasping breaths that made the mahogany doorframe clutched underneath his tense white knuckles crack into the tiniest of splinters. Every second wheeze fills the air up with so many charged atoms of cursed energy until you could barely even move. 

Skin-tight black compression shirt torn in a jagged scratch right down the middle, billowing white pants tattered and sagging until you could almost see a few curls of creamy white. Could see allll of his washboard abs. 

It looked like he’d clawed through hell himself just to take you there with him.

As your mouth opens and gapes wordlessly, your husband takes - well, more like stumbles - a singular step towards you that makes the expensive mats underneath break into a crater. 

You’re catching the way his meaty thighs tremble through the cracks of his trousers, a singular dewdropped bead of sweat trickling down the side of Gojo’s flushed temples - almost as if he’d…run the entire way here instead of his usual teleportation.

Breath bated, your eyes cross over the lines of his sculptured deltoids to look at the destroyed mess of the hallway leading up to your room. Only your door was left untouched. 

So he did run.

“Oh- Satoru.” Your voice drops into a sweetened tone unknowingly, and that makes Gojo stiffen with a hoarse breath. 

With every pretty sound falling from your mouth, the sweltering hot atmosphere sizzled so many temperate degrees higher, until your skin was humid with power and want and power. 

Instantly fighting against the rigid air to close the distance, all you wanted to do was hold him. “Are you- are you okay- what happened-”

And then Gojo lurches- as if he’d just been struck with your presence and it had electrocuted him, until he’s raising his eyes up to meet yours and-

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

Never in your life had Gojo Satoru looked at you like that.

Heavy lids only half-open, the semi-crescents of his pupils so dilated that they shone Stygian black, tendrils of miniscule blue lightning shoot from the corners of his gaze as Gojo fights to keep his long lashes from fluttering shut. 

He looked ravaged.

The very instant you’re thinking of inching yourself closer to wrap his bruised body in a long-overdue embrace, he’s flinching. 

Like he’d read your very mind. 

And maybe he did, because in mere nanoseconds, Gojo’s kissing you and kissing you until you’re tasting everything iron and him- 

Fuck, you couldn’t even stickily part your lips from his plush, puckered ones to breathe without him letting off a pained grunt. He’s so engulfing. “My wife.”

You’re gasping at the pressurized layer of power that sticks to him like a second skin - and it fights, yearns until you’re being pressed flesh-to-bloodied flesh. Drinking in the scent of candy and something metallically sharp, “Satoru.”

A few calloused fingers tighten ‘round your tender throat so that Gojo could drink all those cute wailing whimpers of yours. 

Crushing you to his toned front, you weren’t sure if your fingerpads were digging into his chiseled shoulders out of his magnetism or pure greed. Still reminding yourself to be careful of his injuries-

“You-” Words warbling like never before, the crowned edges of your digits skim his undercut. Struggling through loudly snogging crashes of his lips, “Wh-what happened? Can you stand? Does it hurt somewhere? Do you need me to-”

“My wife.”

Oh… 

“My wife.” His parched throat slackens to suck on your pinkish tongue like his favorite candy, “My wife-” Ivory lashes trickle your cheeks, and suddenly his honed canines nip your wobbly lower lip. Tugging sensually, “My wife.”

He couldn’t get enough.

“T-Toooru–” Your maw slicks with a thick gloss of spittle, and Gojo immediately catches the dangling strands on the flat of his lecherous tongue to laaaap it up like he was a man who’d been dying of thirst for eons. 

“Need you.” 

And it was the way he said it - so low, strained. A guttural groan that sounded almost like a growl, spat right through Gojo’s clenched pearly whites. 

Devotion and power overflowing so much that he simply had to have you. He had to.

Silky locks of ivory brush your sweat-simmered forehead, “My wife- you- need you.” He’s snarling against your tightly smeared lips, almost as if stringing together coherent sentences had wrenched out whatever was left of his control, too. 

In only two flaps of your shocked lashes, Gojo’s trailing his hotly opened maw down your neck. Fangs dipping right near your throat to feel the way your pulse pounds. Power thrumming underneath his touch, air stifling– “Need you always.”

Your lips buzz at the sheer cursed energy flowing through him, vocal cords too smoky to produce a proper noise, “Need- Toru–” 

But the strongest didn’t need you to struggle out your words right now.

He’s widening his blazing sapphire peripherals once your weakened legs squeeze almost unnoticeably together. Nostrils flaring slightly and-

Ah. There.

Gojo Satoru knows the exact moment that particularly gummy droplet of slick escapes from the crevice of your throbbing pussy - because he can smell it. 

Oh, that heady, hypnotic aroma that has your husband collapsing onto his knees in front of you with a resounding CRASH! 

So hard, so rough that you’re wincing at the way his very own limitless flickers and falters to make Gojo’s capped knees bruise against the floorboards. Ground now shattered underneath his inhumanly strength- “Fuck- Toru- you just came back from-” 

But any and all shrilling words evaporate on your tastebuds, replaced with the tangy excitement of having him loll his head drunkenly between your jittery legs to sniiiiff–!

“Neeeed you-” He’s croaking out, oh-so-raw. Your spine works as a runway for your goosebumps as he’s letting his cherry-pink lips twitch up into a sleazy grin. “-my wife.”

Perhaps it’s your melty brain trying to make sense of things, perhaps it’s Gojo’s teleportation working in overdrive - because one split-second you’re slouching your weight on his sturdy figure to hold yourself standing, and the next you’re being splayed out on the cool tatami floors like such a slut.

Gasping, head swimming. 

The moment your legs fall open with a slurping pop! already talking from your oversaturated pussylips, you huff. “Did- did you just teleport us onto the floor, Satoru?”

“Teleport?” He’s barely removing his glassy pupils from the adorably damp spot peeking from between your legs. Gojo’s eyes flicker with faint recognition as he airily looks around like he wasn’t even sure how he got here.

All pinning you to the mat with one massive palm clung onto your hips, shuffled downwards so that the scorched breezes of his breaths hover over your clothed cunt in muggy lil’ gusts. 

It takes your squirming buck for Gojo to finally, finally realize his position and startles out a shocked chuckle, like he himself didn’t even realize whether he teleported. 

“Are- are you okay, Toru–?” You’re breathing out, concern rippling the rational part of your brain.

Jostling back your satiny skirt to bare your slick-sheened inner thighs to the chill air, Gojo only halts his laughter to answer - airy, about five octaves higher than you were used to. 

“Do I look okay, sweetheart?”

Fuck. 

You didn’t doubt that he wasn’t.

You were fucked. 

Because the very second Gojo tugs down your skirt, “Fuck- fuck.”

“Toru, do you need h-” And riiiips it straight off of your hips to take a good - good - long look at the sodden, see-through underwear flimsily bunched at your quivering pussy, his half-opened eyes quiver shut. 

You can’t even complain about your skirt being limited edition because Gojo just looked so ruined. And you were addicted. 

Icy brows furrowed, jaw ticking, you’re watching speechlessly once he’s taking another deeeeep inhale. Pecs constricting, the curvaceous edges of his smirk dapples with a slight geyser of drool at the sweet, sweet smell of your cunt.

“Fuuuck, my sweetheart- my wife.” The flesh of your inner thighs clam with a thin layer of perspiration at Gojo’s reverent whisper. Taking in yet another deep breath- “All mine.”

And there’s something so primal in the way the edges of his sharpened teeth come snagging down on the thin layer hiding your pussy. The very slimy tip of his tongue grazes that slight moistness of your panties and the man finds himself snickering. 

Gnawing down on the fabric– you don’t know if he realizes, you don’t know if he even cares that he’s teasingly nibbling on one of your plump labia. 

“Missed you- missed this- fuck.” He’s only making his mouth grow more waterlogged, his teeth toyin’ and grinding near your aching hot pussy– Gojo slurps up another taste of you and his hips come humping down on the firm ground. “Missed her.”

Before you know it, Gojo’s superhuman reflexes have hooked a slender finger underneath your panties and he’s tearing them. Biting them. Clean off.

“T-Toru!” You’re squealing, your dripping hole slopping out yet another splosh! of sap at the act. Your heat races as your husband lazily trawls that translucent skimp of fabric up, up, up over to give it another drunken gnaw–

Groaning, “Oh, my wife-” His darkly predatory gaze snatches back open at the cloying dredges of syrup that tack onto his tastebuds, wide. Wild. “My wife- my wife.”

There it is again, and you’re just about opening your mouth to ask about his sultry little mantra- before Gojo’s bullying out every syllable in the back of your throat with a sudden, firm push of his tongue - flopped out right where your folds were leaking the utmost.

“O-oh my ngh- god!” Your dewy lashes moisten because his probin’ muscle was just so big. And he was never this urgent before, this hurried. 

Never this filthy.

Gojo only nuzzles your flinching thighs further to give you such a sinful view, gawking at the way his bubblegum-pink buds spread wiiide open to act like a lil’ road for all your ribbony wires of slick. Every puddling bead slipping from where his tongue was plunged inside you n’ down to the target of his throat, “O-oh.”

Oh?

And Gojo was stuttering, just one taste of your soaking wet pussy and he’s letting his high cheekbones burn a bright blossoming red. Hips bludgeoning forwards to press his aching, heavy bulge into the floor. 

He was a man gone.

“So sweet. Wet- s-so wet.” He’s sucking in a few breaths before veering up a single hand to plant a rude spank right on your soaked lips. 

And imagine the strongest’s raw, carnal delight when that only makes your saccharine cunt even wetter. So drenched that your globs of slick were gathering on the point of his chin and formulating a slick puddle. 

Voice wavering, stuttering. Almost like he couldn’t even believe it even though the evidence was clinging and dripping from his very maw, “So…wet. Like a waterpark- dessert- oh…So wet- f-fuuuck s’she drooling f’me? F’me?”

“For you- o-only for you.” You’re whimpering as his hand comes slamming down again. 

Slap after slap after slap, until you swear his fingertips were starting to buzz with power. Speckles of pearly sheen flying from the knobs of his fingers and straight into his parched mouth.

“Ohhh don’t say that- don’t you say that.” He’s warning, “S’gonna make me- make me…” Prolonging the crown of his tongue to take more of you and stretch and stretch inside your elastic cunt. “Oh- fuck, m’fucking you-” Prominent Adam’s apple bobbing with a gasp– he’s tasting you. He’s really, really tasting you now. “-I’m h-haaaa…fucking you.”

“Fuck- fuck fuck fuck, Satoru you’re being so…”

Insatiable? Depraved? 

“Can’t stop-” Comes out his ragged gulps, wanting to coo at your cutely twisting expressions and yet unable to even bear the thought of breaking his lewd French kiss with your cunt. “Can’t stop, sweetheart- fuck!”

He really couldn’t. Swabbing ridges of his tastebuds just keeping on swirlin’ into the tenderest spots of your gummy walls, and Gojo’s tongue is so long that every thrusting push past your snug hole leaves you feeling so dizzy.

You’re sucking in a sharp inhale, “T-Toru-”

Faring worse off, he couldn’t even speak. 

Instead of an actual answer, the only sign that shows he even heard is one of his visceral flinches, as if just the way you said his name was enough to drive him crazy.

The scratchy tip of his tongue scours in a welcoming heart right where your hole was and playfully back - no hesitation, no shyness.

“Puh-please, Satoru–” He was fucking into you now. A great big helping of saliva slobbers down the side of your mouth, your foggy pupils starting to circle at just the exact tempo of his dipping tongue. 

The only thing you’re able to let off is the wetly glistening gush of another clingy wave of sap. Swashing Gojo’s swollen lips until they’re soaking wet, your fingers scrape their way through his sweat-matted strands. Babbling, “M-more.”

And there you said. There. 

You knew the instant that those strained syllables ripped from your throat that it would not bode well for your poor pussy. 

Because Gojo’s Herculean shoulder muscles tense, lengthy lashes flapping, and you wonder if he’d stopped fucking breathing. 

Not even the slightest gust of air leaves him as he’s wafting his eyes to your teary ones in shock– “M-more?”

You can’t even tease your dear husband for the way his husky bass was cracking at the very ends, because simply repeating the words makes his cerulean irises spark with bolted lightning. Staring dead-on as he keeps muttering away to himself—

“More?”

You’re mewling as soon as his fat wad of spittle strikes your heated core, slimily slithering straight down your puffed-up lips. 

Just the sight of your glistening entrance so vulgar that, without even a second thought, Gojo’s once more surging his lips against your other pair until his pointed chin. So hard that he’s slapping the base of your treacly pussy until his skin’s all delicate n’ raw.

The curved ends of his jaw slipping n’ glissading up and down while his tongue sliiiides in.

“More-” He’s half-giggling to himself, the straight line of his nosebridge crushing your perked clit and sending your spine sparking. “More more more more- my wife- hah!” You swear you feel the cute crater of his dimples press against the skin of your thighs. Drooling, he’s crooning– “My wife wants more.”

And it’s the last thing said before your eyes blotch pure white with a sheer rummaging stretch. Wider n’ wider - not only was Gojo snaggling your leaking hole open with his tongue, he was adding in his long fingers, too.

The nearly six-inch length of his middle finger tucking between your slick-stained folds with a thundering squeeeelch–! 

“Want more- gonna get it-” You can make him uttering in a gravelly tone against your swollen lips, grunting. Repeatedly swervin’ his padded digits back n’ forth, “-gonna- gonna get it.”

“Toru- Toru oh my god- fuck, s’too good-” Your knees tremor weakly as they bend in the air, head tumbling backwards as your eyes roll to the dark depths of your skull.

“Raise.” 

It’s all you hear before a scouring tendril of cursed energy curls around your neck and your head is being forced to tilt upwards and stare deeply into Gojo’s dimly-lit eyes. Ravenous. 

You didn’t even think that he had the ability to do that, but with the way he was ruining your cunt from the very inside out you wouldn’t be surprised. 

And you think this might be the dopiest you’ve seen Gojo’s pretty smile. Something that would be so completely endearing if it wasn’t for the way that his azure eyes were flickering with cursed energy. “N’  let me ruin you, my wife.”

It wasn’t a promise - he was already doing it.

Barreling the tippy-tops of his two slippery digits so far deeply into your g-spot that you’re drooling. A wave of spitballing drool flapping from your gluey lips, “Are you- Toru are you- using Six Eyes?”

Fuck, that’s what it was.

That had to be it - he’s treating the treasure trove of your sweet spots so meanly. Like a lil’ dartboard that he’s carving out the exact spheroid circumferences of his fingertips, again. And again. And again.

Until his manicured fingernails were leaving that lil’ bundle so overstimulated that even the merest, slightest graze had you weeping out in slicked drool.

You’re crying out by the time that Gojo’s tucking the edges of his tongue inside your gaping entrance with three girthy fingertips - sweat-sleek brows knitting as he pushes and pushes against the resistance. 

Doubly filling you up, and it was such a stretch that it left your hip restless.

“M’n-not gonna hck! last, Satoru.” Your lips pucker into such a cute sob, the melody of it going straight to the plump, aching tip filling up his pants.

He’s rasping, mouth barely giving the time of day for anything other than making out with your creamy pussy. “Cum.” Urgent, rapid strokes of his fingers like he was dragging that stormy high from you. The faster his sloppy movements were becoming, the more crazed his eyes were becoming. “Cum.”

And even though you were too dumbstruck to notice it now, Gojo was so feral for your leaking pussy that loose pieces of furniture in the room had begun to clatter. 

Torrents of cursed energy zipping down to his fingers and concentrating there, “All f’me.” Breaths hoarse with belated pants, he’s groaning when the bzzzz–! of power on your battered g-spot makes your back arch prettily. 

Like a perfect bullet vibrator that was precisely and never-endingly whacking your favorite area, faster. Sloppier. 

So, so filthy.

Gojo was already widening his eyes and letting his spit-adhesive lips crack into a wild smile by the time you’re trilling about your orgasm - because he knew. Oh, he knew.

His Six Eyes could see it coming from a mile away; the way your heart was racing in a pitter-patter that matches the flicks of his narrowed tongue. Every sopping slap! making you clench your scalding insides ‘round him instinctively until it was almost difficult for him to press back against the mushy recoil of your g-spot.

But the strongest always got what he wanted.

And what he wanted was you cumming right now, your nails clawing adorable crimson rainbows all down his shoulders, his neck. “T-Toru- cu-cumming- ngh! M’c-cumming, fuck fuck fuck–”

Gojo would throw his head back and moan if it didn’t mean moving his rovering lips away from your pretty pussy.

“No- c’mon c’mon c’mon- wanna taste. Need to taste-” He’s letting you ride your peaks of euphoria out on slobbering drags of your hips. Face crinkling, his free hand darting up to cushion your tempo with reverse cursed energy so you won’t get too tired n’ stop.

He wouldn’t have been able to handle it if you did.

Wouldn’t have been able to bare- “Again. Again-” Slapping down a hand on the slick-shined inners you’re crying out once the energy-capped crowns of his fingers inch dangerously towards your clit. “Taste- on my face. All over my face, alright?”

He didn’t just want you to cum - he wanted you to squirt. 

“O-oh my god, Tooooru!” Your mouth clogs up with both spit and sultry whines, heels starting to dig into the dimples on Gojo’s sexily flexing back. “M’so sensitive, dunno if I can-”

“No.” He’s cutting you off, and you almost startle. A dull thud! emanating from where his v-line angrily hits the floor in a grindin’ push, another sparking spank punishes your sobbing slope. “No no no no- have to. Wanna taste- think m’gonna die without it.” 

Practically begging on his knees right now. And if you thought that the vibrating sensation of his fingerpads were bad, then you surely weren’t ready for the way that Gojo’s lacquering his sizzling tastebuds over with a flimsy layer of energy.

“C’mon- c’mon c’mon c’mon–” His reverse cursed energy bolts mindlessly from the left hand attached possessively to your waist, and you’re tearing up all over again with a fresh batch of salty tears when that thrumming tongue of his flops over your driveling hole. 

The textured vibrations just felt so good that it was making your mouth flap sappily open, you’re sure that the only reason you could even think right now was because of his reverse cursed energy.

Circlin’ your fleshy folds, where your plugged-up hole was being thrashed with all his pummeling fingers, then up, up, up to your twitchy clit. 

Gojo’s nimble muscle was drawing circles- no, hearts. No, a cursive T-O-R-U ♡ 

He wasn’t even trying - didn’t even have to - to let buzzing bursts of power flicker at your cunt. So teasing on purposeful, those shockwaves were making your thighs twitch with bliss each n’ every time. Every part of him.

“What does that saaay?”

“Toru- Toru” Right before you throw your head back and get steamrolled by your high like never before, such a crashing, blissful wave. “I-I’m…” 

You don’t even have to finish your soft gasping moan because your squelching pussy does so for you. In the loudest, rawest sluuuurp that Gojo laps up gratefully- a drink made especially for his dry throat. 

Ears popping, skin all tingly - you can only slouch your legs further open and take it.

Stringy, wadded splashes of syrupy sap that escape out of you even if you tried to stop. “Gonna fuck-” He’s grunting, throatily. Ruminating growls locked away in his chest, he spits into your fluttery cunt. “-gonna fuck you- fuck you so good.”

You’re so wet that Gojo’s finding himself soaked-through all the way from the tips of those creamy white curls by the shell of his ear down to his chin. A round goblet of slick glues to the sharp line of his jaw and makes a slithering trailway doooown his bobbing throat.

“S’here-” Letting go of your hips, he’s pointing to the mouthfuls of you that fill up his sloppy maw. “Down, down–” The very tip of Gojo’s lecherous finger points a pathway doooown his pale, handsome neck, “-down. All inside. Finally got ta t-taste ya, sweetheart.”

You’re still blinking back the full vignette of your vision by the time that your husband’s pulling his dexterous digits out with a noisy squelch! 

Letting the proud layer of juicy slick smear all over your pussylips once he’s giving your cute, quivering clit a lil’ piiiinch. “And m’s-still thirsty.” He’s grumbling, grinning. Watching as your mouth falls into an awe-struck ‘o’ when you feel his buzzing cursed energy flowing through him again. 

“Toru- fuck fuck fuck–!” It takes every ounce of strength in your body to lift yourself up onto your elbows. “Want…” You wanted him - namely that aching hot bulge you could peek at if you angled your head just right.

And even pushing your trembling thighs together doesn’t do anything to falter Gojo, because he’s simply pushing himself deeper between your gooey legs and gasping. Not for air, not for a breath, but for another taste of you.

Poking down the mushed tip of his tongue until he was pressing on your buttony clit. Hard. He’s seriously happy to die a death suffocated between your pretty thighs, “But why–?” 

Walls clenching needily, you shoot your hand to clutch the strongest’s angelic hair and pull–

“Fuh-fuck–!” Gojo’s dizzy head falls back, breaking off from your syrupy pussy with such a sinfully wet pop! Through your tears you see his right hand shake, quiver down between his trousers. 

And it makes your mouth water greedily to watch the schwf! of tattered fabric motioning back n’ forth as he’s grabbing his rock-hard bulge and thrusting. Angrily. Furiously. “Look what- look what you did- what you- ngh!”

Before you know it, Gojo’s clawing his free hand somewhere in the air hovering above you - all that it takes for him to snap his jujutsu powers and help draaaaag you down like some glorified doll. 

Charred breaths labored, his meaty knees clatter on either side of your body. So urgent that you wonder whether it doesn’t hurt him to scramble up your figure this way, alllll up until you’re finding your face straddled by a heaving Gojo Satoru.

“S’your fault.” He’s grouching out in a gruff tone, and you’re taking the moment to just fully admire him in all his sinful glory.

Skin-tight clothes still hanging off of him in tatters, back oh-so-arched, and his expression– oh, his expression almost made you regret pulling him away from your cunt. 

With a rosy blush flooded all the way from the tips of his ears to the back of his perspiration-glossed neck, heady gaze practically shuttered, lips dripping wet with all your essence still. A few glittery spatters of it slobber down from his cheeks to hit your own face once Gojo lets his lips fall into a soft oh!

Wheezing, “S’your…” You can only gape as he’s tugging down the ivory hem of his pants just enough to let his swollen, heavy cock free. “-fault.”

He was throbbing and big, flinching from the very tip of his lollipop-red cockhead just as soon as he’s feeling the cold breeze of your bedroom. Gojo’s biceps flex sexily as he nudges the moist skin of his tender shaft against your left cheek and pumps.

Sloppy.

“Didn’t have to be s’fuckin’ sweet-” Gojo hisses through gleaming clenched teeth, your blinking expression too gorgeous. “Didn’t have to be- so- ohhhh– m’gonna marry you. M’gonna marry you m’gonna marry you.” 

“Toruuu–” You’re cooing out, gazing as he’s biting back into a snarl. Drooling strawberry orifice sprinkling a wispy jetstream of white, vulgar. “-we’re already married, baby.”

Fuck- and then he’s cumming.

He’s cumming and cumming so much that Gojo’s overworked brain half-wonders when he might stop. The rounded curve of his ballsack squeezing with every elongated ribbon of seed that he’s letting out- more once he catches sight of the way it glissades in a sheeny polish down your features. 

Steaming hot and aching, just as much as he was. 

“Th-there’s so much, Toru-” You’re whining when the salted caramel flavor edges near your tongue, every fat goblet of sap positioned exactly to drool down your face. “-Toru?”

Gojo was on cloud nine, and you didn’t even know he was even listening to you.

Only letting out a dreamy sigh, the knobbly curve of his thumb comes brushing down that pooling slick mess he was making on you. 

Giggling - giggling, “Whoops.” He’s prodding over those webs of seed past your poutily puckered maw, purposefully gliding his fingerpad alllll the way down your wobbly bottom lip. “-missed a spot.”

You’re ogling with an ajar mouth once he glistens it over like some sultry lipgloss, you just looked so beautiful like this that Gojo feels his heart race. He feels his breath hitch, his wide length throbbing-

“Oh.” He hiccups, still sensitive with the shivering wracks of his high. And Gojo’s gaze hastily flickers behind him - to his second favorite pair of lips, after your mouth, of course. “Missed a spot there, too.”

Whatever shred of practicality left in him promises he’ll make it up to you later, he’ll take it slow and make mind-numbing love to you later. Much, much later, but for now: you’re being pushed against the bouncy mattress of your bed. 

You gasp, “A-again? Toru you-” Faltering weakly for just the slightest second when Gojo corners you on the bedcoils and rids of his shirt. All pale, chiseled muscles and power for daaaays. Fuck, he was so hot. “-do you even hck! realize you teleported us?”

The only answer he gives you is a savage grin, voice dipping into just deepest territory as he muses. “No.”

He didn’t. He really, really didn’t even register it when his powers were thrusting you into the bed and making the bedroom lights flicker once he all but tears off those damn overlarge pants. 

And then he gets closer.

Cornering you, a soft pant of shock lets off from you at the faint scars and cuts decorating those familiar muscles of his toned front. “W-wait, Satoru, are you feeling-”

“What? This?” With the click of his fingers, most of those bloodied injuries fade into obscurity. Leaving only a few scars and the remnants of reverse cursed tingling in the air. “Now ruin me, my wife.”

“Fuck…”

“Can’t think.” Gojo’s rasping voice wafts over your lips, making sure to draw out a wet sluuuurp when he suckles on your white-topped maw. Tasting you, tasting himself. His eyes flare madly wide, “-don’t want a-anything but you…”

You’re squirming sluttily at the faint bolts of lightning that decorate his creamy skin, flickering down from his eyes- down to where his ravaging cock was hanging low between his thighs. Slapping a wad of drooling precum on your inner thighs. 

Gojo was so big and hard that you could count every ba-dump–! his ruby crown was thumping against your poor bloated folds. Squelch after squelch, you got the feeling that he was repeatedly rubbing his chubby tip just to drive you mad.

“Don’t have- condoms.” And Gojo could merely lift himself off to grab those familiar foil packets in that bedside drawer - hell, he could even teleport himself there. 

But doing so meant that he had to be away from you and this cutely drooling cunt of yours. And though you didn’t mind if he went in purely raw, Gojo had another idea in mind. 

Whimpering, “Then give it-” Gojo’s breath catches when you buck your hips impatiently, “Need you, Sato- fuck!”

He was never one to disappoint, of course.

Your eyelashes flap tearily at the sudden snagging streeeeeetch being pressured between your glued pussylips. Gasping, struggling to take a look and-

“S’gonna work.” 

“I-it’s not.”

“It will.”

“Won’t- mmpf–!”

Pushing and pushing to try and fit the limitless-capped ends of his length into your tight hole. “Gonna-” He’s poking the reddish tip of his tongue between his teeth in a way that sends shivers down your spine, “-gonna work. Trust me- hck! Trust me, sweetheart.”

If you thought you’d ever gotten used to the maddening girth of your husband before, then you sure weren’t ready for right now. 

For when he’s coating his near-ten inches, thick inches with a layer of crackling limitless. Forcin’ your poor entrance even more full, the pointed corner of his head slips once more between your sandwiching lips and Gojo growls. 

“Fuck- fuck!” In both your carnally muddled minds, you’re barely registering the way something in the bedroom shatters. Sounding halfway through tears, “Not even the tip- Gotta fit- s’gotta. I have to.”

You’re whining with every rutting push, “Wh-why the hell are you so big, Satoru–?”

“Shhh m’gonna make it fit- gonna hah- make it.” He’s urgently soothing you with a big hand on your forehead - not just to caress your forehead, no. Gojo’s clawing your sweaty crown and pushing you down onto where his bulky length was pulsating. Desperate. 

And the smooch of his boiling hot length was so wiiide that your vision is shattering into something bleary. 

Pupils rolling until your eyes were only pure white, you almost don’t catch the rippling forearm being planted right in the middle of your line of sight. “Bite.” Gojo grits out, tension ticking. “Bite.”

So you do - hard enough to draw blood, and that’s exactly the way he wanted it. 

“Yeah- yeahhh jus’ like that.” He’s groaning underneath his breath once you’re gnawing, letting off the prettiest noises when Gojo keeps pulling his hips back and forth. Like some animal, he’s dolloping out a slimy topping of pre on top of your cunt and rutting– “Take it.” Somehow easing in his ridiculous length, “All of it, like my g-good wife now. All-”

And he meant it. 

Slamming his toned hips so hard into yours that sparks - literal, powerful sparks - are sent flying from his body. Pants raspy, maw slackening, “Where is it?” Roaming his eyes rapidly down your body, your skin prickles with atoms stood on edge. “Where- fuck! Where am I…ah. H-here.”

“Here?”

“Here.” A trembling, vibrating finger of Gojo’s comes drifting absent-mindedly up from the start to your folds. And the deeper this fat, vein-covered cock was bludgeoning in - the further his digit was drawing. “Here- m’riiiight here, sweetheart.”

It’s only then that your saccharine brain thinks to understand that he was using his Six Eyes, targeting the sight where his swollen cock was probin’ around your sweet insides.

“Watch me- watch me get deeper.”

You’re watching with an unfastened jaw as Gojo precisely draws where his bulbous tip was smearing out your walls to their maximum. Subconscious, short jabs back and forth back and forth baaack and forth.

Just to fit inside.

“S-shoooo deeeep–” 

“Not deep enough.” 

Stupidly prattling with every knock of his size. Gojo was so damn big that you didn’t even need his outlining digit, your goopy innards were already bulging with his size. A bumpy cylindrical outline that only went deeper, deeper-

“-deeper.” Gojo rests his woozy forehead on top of yours, just as ruined as you. So close now that his chiseled abs gliiiide down your front, “F-feels good, huh? My cock so ngh- deep- my limitless. So, so…deep.”

And it’s at that very second that once your husband bottoms out, that he breaks. 

SLAM!

His sanity, his palm collapsing down to splinter the headboard, and limitless. All at the same time.

Hours and hours later, you’ll both be told that there was a suspicious spike of cursed energy in this area during this exact time. One so strong that it alerted almost every sorcerer in the territory.

But right now you’re too focused on the way that Gojo’s mushy, furiously leaking tip was crashing head-first into your sponged cervix. And suddenly it’s not just the airy feeling of his limitless, it’s the feeling of you. 

Warm and wet. So so wet.

It’s then that Gojo gnaws down on his rosy, trembling lower lip and stalls. It’s then that he’s scrunching his eyes to stop the outpour of power. It’s then that he gasps–

“Didn’t work.”

Letting out a high, wild bout of laughter that makes you wonder just how high the kill count would be.

Confused, “Wh-what?”

Gojo only removes his hand from the bedframe to reveal a scalding handprint exactly in the shape of his, a few shards of wood falling onto the floor. 

“Didn’t…work.” His voice was hard, rough. And there was a jagged tone to them that you hadn’t ever heard before- “It didn’t- work- fuck fuck fuck- didn’t work. Didn’t work didn’t work.” All that he could even think to bellow out in moans every time that Gojo rocked his hips thoroughly. “And I…you…”

Running out of the fucking syllables, he’s letting go of your scalp to fully throw both of your legs over his shoulder and buck. So soft.

“S-soft-?” You’re making out through your pressured eardrums, clinging onto Gojo’s broad shoulders for dear life. You almost - almost - miss the way that his mouth drops, shit- he said that out loud?

Well, now that he started - Gojo couldn’t stop.

Spitting out nonsense between every jackhammer- “Y’feel s-so…soft.” He’s continuing on in an airy tone, gripping a good handful of either side of your hips. So strong that it barely take even a fraction of his strength to jostle you hip n’ down to meet every thrust, “So…sweet- fuck! Even sw-sweeter without a ngh- condom.”

So fucking looooong that every jackhammer from the tip of his geysering divot to his hefty hilt felt like it took ages. Your toes curled helplessly every time he was stirrin’ your insides right up to your cervix, crazed. 

“M’really hitting her-” His breath fans your face in steamy gusts that humidify your skin, “-really, really can feel her.” Peking you once, twice, thrice. “Kissing you- kissing her-” A slam to your cervix, “-there, too.”

You’re letting off mumbled whines of something that sounds like “yes!” and “Toru!” as Gojo slows his craving pace down just a tad to splash out a stringy drawing of a heart right at the bottom of your pussy. 

Long, thorough digging drills that bruise his exact circumference size, “N’ m’seeing her- seeing her take me so welllll, oh…deserves a lil’ treat.”

Too nervous to think about what he would consider a ‘treat’, you’re shoving your face into the clammy crook of Gojo’s neck and biting. Leaving him just as rawly red and stinging as his cock was, the action was enough to make him nibble his bottom lip.

Babbling, “Yeah- yeah, a t-treat. A treat for my good girl- my wife.” You’re feeling it before you register it, that stickily sweet buzzzz–! of cursed energy coating Gojo’s fingertips. 

He unabashedly drags it all the way across your hardened nipples - giving just a lil’ pinch - down your tummy, that bulging outline he was fucking into you, down.

Until Gojo had his sparking fingerpads locked around your throbbing fat clit and refused to let go- “You like that? Yeahh fuh-fucking like that-” Hiccuping, every new roll of his hips plapping against yours made him twist your perked nub just the way you liked. “-like seeing me like this? Th-the strongest fucking you like this?”

“Yes-” You’re sobbing out, your hip gyrating lewdly upwards in tandem with his. And it makes both you and the ancient bedsprings sing in unison when Gojo reaches so deep, “-like it, like it- ngh! Love it.”

Oh.

Oh. 

If you thought that Gojo had nothing left to lose at this point then you were wrong, because with a rummaging spank of skin-on-skin, he’s probin’ a kiss so deep into your g-spot that you can almost taste Gojo’s candied caramel flavor. 

Swiveling his hips just right to maze his lustrously crowned head into that filthy, filthy target. Thumping veins bloated enough to circle your elastic walls and make you remember each lightning bolt pattern. 

Pulse leaping through your mouth, your head bangs backwards into the plush pillows, “There- there, Toruu–!”

“I already know.” Fuck, did he know - and he almost wished you could see the way he could with his Six Eyes. Just how lecherously you glutinous walls were bending to gulp him up straight into your plush g-spot. Every whack thrashing dead-on into that bullseye, “There- there. M’right there- fucking you right there.”

He was pounding into you like he was crazed at this point, and with every white-hot star of pleasure bursting behind your eyes, you could feel yourself sinking further into the cushy bed.

“-the bed, huh?” If you were in any better state of mind, you’d have been wondering about the fact that your husband seemingly had the ability to read minds.

But even Gojo doesn’t seem to realize.

A simpering smile falling over his features as he hoists your boneless legs further up his shoulders - locking them with a simple curl of his cursed energy. Before bending down, down, down until you’re all folded in half like a lawnchair and helpless. 

Completely at the mercy of his sloppy, spanking cadence, “S’what I k-kept thinking about- ngh- a-allll today.” At just the mere mention, Gojo’s throwing his head back with another wave of excess power.

“R-really?” You’re questioning cutely, and he’s forced to concentrate on a lil’ patch of limitless on top of his weepy crownhead to stop himself from fucking cumming right then, right there. 

“Thought about you- ngh- your lips. Your smile.” That explained why he was so ravenous, biting back grunting whimpers at the throbbing clench of your melty walls - molding ‘round his barreling girth. “And your…pussy.”

“S-so filthy, Satoru.”

Your features crinkle with a tiny, blissful twitch - so faint that you almost don’t even register it. 

But Gojo does.

Fuck- of course, he does. He’s slouching forwards until the drenched tufts of his stark white happy trail scratch your already-buzzing clit. Until his superhuman senses can distinctly make out every slurring mwah-! being pulled out from your soppy folds, nodding along as if in conversation. 

“Yeah- mhmmm–” He’s tittering at your starstruck expression, kissing away the clumps of dumbfounded drool splattering from your lips. Gojo squeezes the bullet vibrators of his fingers harder ‘round your clit and lets his eyes glow once you squeal, “-knew it. You’re close, my sweetheart.”

“I-I am?”

“Mhmm—”

And his Six Eyes was never incorrect.

Within only a few more vulgar, touching strokes you could feel that familiar tightness at the bottom of your tummy. Gojo’s giving your cunt another good spank to keep your legs twitching, “C-close.”

“Yeah? Yeah?” Taking on that maddened tinge, “Gonna cum- gonna cum f’me.” He’s giggling into your open mouth, letting a few oodles of spit let slip. “Can tell- so close so lose that- ooooone—”

Your hips jiggle hysterically up into his feverish pace, chasing your high with every uncontrolled thrust. Every spark of power– “Two- two.”

“Twoooo–” He’s calling out after a confirming glance downwards with his Six Eyes, manhandling your restless body pliably. Spattered specks of sweat hit your chest when he’s aligning his tip for once last crash into your tenderest spots. One. last- “Thr- fuck–!”

Right on time. And it wasn’t just you crashing into your high, it was Gojo, too.

Every bedroom light shattering, loose furniture hovering copious inches. 

Gojo was like a monster, his skin decorating with sparks of blue lightning after every long, aching bout of overstimulated euphoria that make the strongest’s famed eyes blur with big, fat goblets of tears. 

Whimpering - whimpering - in muffled noises as he fucks you full with a roped, creamy sap. It knocks around your deepest insides and pushes up in fat wads against your cervix, that little puddle swashing around to and fro with every pump. “Milk me- yeah yeah milk me.”

He’s fucking and fucking you until his rock-hard cock rubs red n’ raw.

Your own high simply zapping tingles by now from the arched curls of your toes up to your sweltering head, Gojo slides his puffy veins just past your g-spot and your legs go weak.

“P-pleeeease–” You’re mumbling through streaky cries of your own, the feeling so filthy that you didn’t know whether you wanted more or to crawl away.

Before a splat! of something wet and viscid on your shoulder jolts you out of you reverie - and only then do you realize that Gojo fucking Satoru was drooling. 

“Don’t you fucking run.” Before you know it, both Gojo’s handless cursed energy and his own right hand curl around your throat to draaaag you back into his ruthless hips. 

His shivering thighs against yours, the stony ridge of his v-line grinding into your stinging ass cheeks just so. Gojo’s pounding you so full of his seed that you feel oh-so-sluggish, “But- but Tooooruuuu–” You could already feel every ounce of blood in his body rush to make his cock twitch, dangerously. Oh. “-a-again? More?”

It’s like the very word is enough to make him jolt. “More?”

“Will it even ngh- fit?” Your lower lip juts out into a pout, feeling the gluey mess of syrup sticking your thighs together. A few gumdrops of pearly cum already pouring out of your sheened hole and dripping right down onto his base. 

“Well…” Gojo’s peripherals were so very hazy now, and they take their languid time falling to the cumflated bulge he’d jackhammered into you. Chuckling - pitched high, he’s plugging those escaping ribbons back into your milky pussy and licking off the excess. “-how many?”

“Wh-what?” You’re gasping as he leverages the hold at your throat to spit the mess right back onto your tongue. 

“How many kids d’you want, hmmm-?” Gojo purrs right back, nuzzling the sweat-stuck side of your face. He’s whispering into your ear, “Because my Six Eyes tells me it h-hasn’t taken-” One thrust, and just about millions of angels and stars flashing behind your lids. “-yet.”

Reversed curse technique was just seeping out of Gojo, and for a second you wonder what time it was. What day- sore arms wrapping around his neck, you’re muttering your answer.

And he only chuckles– “B-because- limitless void, my wife.” And there’s a soft breeze of cracking energy washing over you - soft, loving, and so Gojo. Twinkling eyes drifting meaningfully to your humming cunt, “-m’gonna make you my ngh- cum…dump.”

He…did he just- your eyes widen, he did. Abusing that limitless void on your bawling pussy…oh, how it made you clench with need. 

Power having him crazed.

The bedroom air prickles with a gush of energy so thick it makes your skin burn slightly, and makes Gojo throw his head back with a whine. A whine. 

Eyes ablaze until only its faint bolts and the dusky sun were your sources of light right now - yet, little did you know that none of Tokyo had power, either. None of its wards. None of Japan.

The surge of power so ridiculously high that your comfy bed was sagging on one end, furniture unruly, the flowers of the estate’s gardens blooming. 

He’s letting go of your skin with a faintly steaming handprint, breath catching at the mark- Gojo similarly guides his own zapping fingers to brand your own steaming initials on his v-line. Electric. Twitching. 

“N’ who knows…” Giving you a probin’ dig of his swollen, ravaged cock, your husband grins. “-maybe I'll summon my haaaa- clones for this next round.”

A/N. Also I know most of y’all probably don’t celebrate but happy Sinhala and Tamil new year! Smooching all you lovelies <3

Plagiarism not authorized.

[shokocide]

ONLY YOU - GETO SUGURU

summary. Geto Suguru built a world with hatred, chose conviction over compassion. But when you smiled at him—looked at him like he could be human, he’s tearing it all down, piece by piece, just to be near you.

word count. 12.9k (whoopsie daisy)

content. mdni fem! reader, canon-divergent au, slowburn, geto being torn between ideology and love, angst, mutual pining, tension tension tension, forbidden romance, emotional whiplash, pet names, fluff, smut, oral (fem rec.), p in v, cowgirl, praise, creampie, pillow talk, geto falls so hard

author's note. started bawling watching hidden inventory arc again so i thought of this

They infest the world like vermin. Powerless, ignorant, and yet so loud. So demanding. Non-sorcerers—monkeys, as he calls them—have always been the root of everything cursed. A plague that breeds more curses with every selfish desire and fear they exude.

Geto Suguru once believed it was his duty to protect them. To save them from the horrors they couldn’t see. But experience breeds bitterness. Enlightenment, as he now calls it, showed him the truth: salvation doesn't lie in protection.

It lies in eradication.

A world without monkeys, a world without curses. It’s a beautiful dream, one he's willing to stain his hands for.

And nothing—no one—was ever meant to come between him and that dream.

Until you did.

-

The first time he sees you, it’s by pure accident.

You’re not supposed to be there. That part of town, that street, that hour—it belongs to his world now, infested with the filth of curses and the chaos of the jujutsu underground. Yet there you are, a non-sorcerer in every sense of the word, standing beneath the awning of a store with a grocery bag in your hand, humming to yourself as if the world isn’t rotting around you.

Suguru notices you from across the street. He shouldn’t have. He was mid-conversation with one of his followers, something about an exorcism gone wrong—but then his eyes flicker to you. Just for a second. He looks away.

And then looks back.

There’s something about the way you move. The softness. The calm. You’re not like the others—screaming into their phones, laughing too loud, careless in a world that demands caution. No. You're not like them at all.

He can’t explain it, but for the first time in years, the word “monkey” doesn’t come to mind.

He watches you turn the corner and vanish from sight. His follower asks him if something’s wrong.

Suguru only says, “No. It’s nothing.”

But it isn’t nothing. It’s the start of the unraveling.

You don’t hear him at first.

You're crouched down, trying to retrieve a tangerine that’s rolled out of your bag and into the gutter, muttering something under your breath about how this always happens when you try to save plastic. You don’t even register the footsteps behind you until a voice—smooth and strangely calm—cuts through the night air.

“You. I haven’t seen you around here.”

You freeze. Straighten. Turn slowly.

There’s a man standing a few feet away. Long, dark hair tied back loosely into a half-bun, strands falling around his face, and dressed in traditional monk’s robes that seem too pristine for the dusty setting—he stands out, like a figure misplaced in time.

“Uh... I don’t come this way often,” you say cautiously, fingers tightening around your bag. “Just passing through.”

Suguru studies you. You can feel it—his eyes tracing every detail of your face, the slight tremble in your fingers, the way you still haven't stepped back even though you probably should. Most people flinch under his stare. Most people recognize something dark in him.

You don’t.

And that’s what makes it worse.

He should walk away. Let you disappear down that alley and never think of you again.

He hums, the sound low in his throat. “That so?” A small, unreadable smile tugs at his lips. “Not many outsiders stumble this deep into our territory. Especially not alone.”

Your fingers tighten around the strap of your bag, a chill racing up your spine despite the sun overhead. “Didn’t realize this was anyone’s territory.”

“It is now,” he says simply, gaze never leaving yours. “You should be more careful. Not everyone around here is as kind as I am.”

The words land oddly. Kind. There's nothing particularly kind about the way he watches you—intensely, like he’s trying to solve a puzzle you didn’t know you were part of.

But still you don’t move. Something about him roots you to the spot.

“You live around here?” he asks.

You nod slowly. “Not far.”

He hums. “Strange. I’d remember seeing you.”

There’s a pause. His gaze lingers just a second longer—heavy, unreadable—and then:

And without another word, he turns and walks away—robes whispering against the ground, the sound of his steps fading as quickly as he appeared.

You're left staring after him, unsure if you feel safer or more on edge than before.

-

It happens at a gathering—not loud or chaotic, but something ritualistic in nature. People flock around low fires and soft chanting, incense curling into the air like ghosts. You’re there again. This time, you linger. You observe. A stranger standing just close enough to the edge to be noticed.

He sees you first.

You haven’t spotted him yet—your gaze is fixed on a group of followers weaving through the crowd, your expression unreadable. Suguru watches you from a distance, arms folded inside the loose sleeves of his monk's robe, hair half-tied and swaying as the breeze catches it.

You’re back. He doesn’t know why that matters to him, only that it does.

He makes his way toward you—not with urgency, but purpose. There’s a small pause before he speaks, voice low enough to only reach you.

“Curious little thing, aren’t you?”

You turn, surprise flickering across your face before recognition softens your features. You don’t smile—but you don’t frown either.

“You,” you say again, breath catching on the word. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

“I live here,” he says, tone even. “You’re the visitor.”

You don’t answer right away. His eyes search yours—calm but calculating. As if trying to decide what box to place you in. Friend, enemy, or something else entirely.

“I wanted to understand,” you say quietly, “what this place really is.”

He tilts his head slightly. “And what do you think so far?”

“I’m still deciding.”

That gets the ghost of a smile from him. Something restrained, but present.

He takes a step closer. “It’s dangerous to linger in places you don’t understand.”

“I’ve been in worse,” you say, lifting your chin just a little.

His eyes narrow, intrigued.

He nods, gaze lingering a beat too long. 

And then he turns, leaving you standing there, heart thrumming a little too loud in the quiet.

-

The day is warm. Quiet. The kind of peace that feels too fragile to last.

You take your time along the sidewalk, admiring how the sunlight filters through the trees, the way it paints soft gold over laughing children and weary parents sprawled across picnic blankets. For once, it feels like the world isn't spinning too fast.

But then you see him.

Under the shade of a tree, seated alone—him.

That man again.

His gaze sweeps the park slowly, dark eyes sharp and distant, like he’s cataloging each face with a kind of silent disdain. He looks… out of place. Not just in posture, but in presence—something about him hums with restrained tension, like a string pulled too tight.

You hesitate, curious. The last time you met, he intrigued you. Now, you’re drawn in by the quiet contradiction of him: monk’s robes draped over a body too tense, too sharp, to belong to someone at peace. A face too beautiful to hold that much bitterness.

Still, you walk toward him.

He notices you when you’re a few steps away. The tension doesn’t leave him entirely—but something in his expression shifts. His mouth twitches, not quite a smile, but close. His eyes lose some of that cold edge, replaced by something else.

Curiosity. Amusement. Interest.

He doesn't speak. Not yet. He's too busy trying to figure you out.

Why you? Why does the sight of you not repulse him like the others? Why does your presence settle into his chest instead of rotting beneath his skin like everyone else’s?

It can’t be your face—no, he isn’t that shallow.

It’s something else. Something quiet. Something dangerous.

And before he can overthink it—

“Hi!” you greet, voice soft and light. Your smile is easy, unguarded. Like you’ve never had to be afraid of someone like him.

Suguru’s heart kicks hard against his ribs.

“So we meet again,” you add, tipping your head to the side. “Quite the coincidence.”

He hums, eyes still locked on you, like he’s trying to read between your words.

You shift your weight slightly, brows raised, smile unwavering.

“Twice is a coincidence,” you say. “Thrice is fate. Maybe we should get to know each other.”

Something tightens in his chest. Normally, that kind of line from a non-sorcerer would have him scoffing, turning away, brushing it off with a sneer. But you’re different. He doesn’t want to turn away.

He wants to stay. To answer you. To know why you make the noise in his head quiet down for a moment.

So, for once, Suguru Geto doesn’t walk away.

Instead, he shifts, patting the spot next to him on the grass.

“Then maybe,” he murmurs, “you should sit.”

You blink at his response, a little surprised. You hadn’t expected him to entertain you, let alone invite you. But you don’t question it. Instead, you lower yourself beside him, settling into the grass, a respectful distance apart.

For a few seconds, you sit in silence.

Then, your voice cuts through it gently, “So… do you come to this park often?”

His eyes flick toward you, amused. “That’s a terrible opening line.”

You laugh. “Maybe. But it worked, didn’t it?”

A soft huff escapes him. Almost a chuckle.

You glance at him from the corner of your eye. “So… what do you do?”

He pauses, considering you. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m curious.”

That piques him more than it should. His gaze lingers on you—your open expression, the lack of wariness in your eyes.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

A beat of silence. Then he shrugs, eyes drifting back to the crowd in front of him. “Let’s just say I lead a very... isolated life.”

You smile. “That’s not ominous at all.”

Another quiet laugh, and you swear it’s the first time you’ve truly heard it. Soft. Warm. Like it doesn’t belong in someone like him.

“You have a name?” you ask.

He glances at you again, something unreadable passing through his expression.

“…Suguru.”

You repeat it quietly. “Suguru.”

The way it rolls off your tongue makes his chest tighten.

“And you?” he asks, almost cautiously.

You give your name, and something strange happens when he hears it. His gaze sharpens for a moment—like he’s locking it into memory. Like it’s important.

And then, like the sharpness never existed, he relaxes again, leaning back on his palms. The sunlight filters through the trees, catching on his dark hair, the soft sway of his robe.

“Do you always talk to strangers in parks?” he asks.

“Only the ones who wear monk robes and look like they have secrets.”

He huffs a quiet laugh again. “You’re strange.”

You smile, eyes on the sky. “So I’ve been told.”

And beside you, Suguru thinks maybe—just maybe—strange isn’t so bad after all.

-

It’s late when the fire dies down. Most of the followers have retreated to their quarters, leaving only ash and silence in their wake. Suguru remains seated, legs folded beneath him, back straight despite the exhaustion tugging at his limbs.

But he can’t rest. Not with you on his mind.

He should’ve known this would happen. Should’ve turned you away the second he saw that spark of curiosity in your eyes. Should’ve told you to run, to stay far from places like this—from people like him.

Instead, he let you stay. Let you speak. Let you look at him like that—like he wasn’t some twisted, broken thing. Like he could still be good.

Foolish.

He exhales slowly, pressing his knuckles against his lips, as if trying to physically restrain the thoughts crawling up his throat.

He doesn’t even know you. And yet—

The way your voice softens when you’re unsure. The slight tilt of your head when you’re thinking. The way you listen—not just to respond, but to understand. He remembers all of it.

Why do I care?

Inferior. Helpless. A breeding ground for curses. The root of everything he’s come to despise.

But you?

You make him hesitate.

That alone is dangerous.

Suguru’s hand tightens into a fist, jaw clenched. He closes his eyes and tries to smother the thought before it fully blooms—but it’s already too late.

What am I doing? he thinks. Why does it feel like I’m slipping back into the person I used to be?

A person who protected people like you.

He tells himself it’s weakness. A fleeting curiosity, nothing more. It’ll pass. It has to.

But when he pictures your face—gentle, confused, lit by firelight—it doesn’t feel fleeting at all.

It feels like the beginning of a crack.

One that threatens to ruin everything he’s built.

-

It had been happening slowly—so slowly he hadn’t even noticed it at first.

The way his feet wandered to the same park when he had no reason to be there. The way he scanned faces in a crowd, hoping—no, expecting—to see that familiar smile again. That warm, soft voice still echoing faintly in his mind days after their last meeting.

And Manami noticed.

She always noticed.

“Suguru,” her voice cuts into his thoughts one evening, when the sun is dipping behind the rooftops and the village has quieted. “You’re different now.”

He barely glances her way. “How so?”

She scoffs. “You know what I mean. You’ve been zoning out during gatherings, missing details, forgetting things. You hardly speak unless spoken to. And it’s been happening ever since—” she pauses, eyes narrowing, “—ever since you met that monkey at the ritual two weeks ago.”

There’s a sharp shift in his energy.

His brows draw in, eyes narrowing. “Don’t call her that.”

That alone is enough for her to raise her brows, a slow, sardonic smile tugging at her lips. “Oh? Her, is it?”

Suguru doesn’t respond. His jaw ticks. His posture grows stiff and tall.

“Oh, please,” Manami drawls. “Don’t tell me you’ve caught feelings for someone like her.”

His silence is louder than a scream.

Manami crosses her arms, unimpressed. “She’s a non-sorcerer, Suguru. A human like all the rest. You said it yourself—curses are born of them. They are the root of all evil. Have you forgotten?”

His voice is low. Cold. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“Then what is this?” she snaps. “You think you’re subtle? You think we don’t see the way you soften when she’s mentioned? The way you’ve started hesitating?”

His lips part as if to defend himself—but there are no words.

Because she’s right.

Because he is hesitating.

Because something in him fractures every time he hears you laugh, or watches the way your eyes light up when you speak. You were supposed to be like the rest. But you’re not. Why aren’t you?

And worse than that… he doesn't want you to be.

-

It was quiet here. Tucked away behind the village's outer border was a secluded hillside where the wind whispered through tall grass, the sun dripping gold over the landscape. A rare pocket of peace in a world Suguru had deemed far too polluted.

He stood at the edge of the hill, arms crossed, eyes far off into the horizon—but his thoughts weren't on the view.

They were on you.

Every smile, every word, every accidental brush of your fingers against his arm played like a loop in his head. He hated it. Hated the way you lingered.

He was a leader. A savior. A visionary. What would his followers think if they saw how his mind drifted—who it drifted to? A non-sorcerer. A monkey. The very thing he’d sworn to cleanse from this world.

He shouldn’t feel this way.

And yet—

“Oh,” your voice cut gently through the breeze. “I didn’t realize you would be here.”

He turned, eyes catching yours.

You were smiling—but it faltered the moment he said nothing.

He should ignore you. He should walk away. But he didn't. Couldn't. And when your expression shifted—confusion curling into something softer, something hurt—something twisted painfully in his chest.

“Are you okay?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Did I… do something wrong?”

He should’ve stayed silent.

But his voice came out low, harsh. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “What…?”

“You don’t belong here,” he said, sharper this time. “Not in this part of town. Not around people like me.”

Your face crumpled with the force of the words, confusion morphing into disbelief. Why did it sting so much?

You’d only spoken a handful of times. Just simple conversations, nothing deep. So why did it feel like your heart had dropped into your stomach?

“What do you mean by… don’t belong?” you asked quietly, voice trembling.

But he didn’t answer. He couldn’t.

His jaw clenched, and without another word, he turned and walked away.

Each step felt like a betrayal.

Each step felt like a dagger he drove into his own chest.

Because the further he got from you, the more unbearable the distance became.

And he couldn’t help but think—

If he looked back even once… he wouldn’t be able to leave.

-

The temple was quiet.

The kind of silence that weighed heavy on Suguru’s shoulders as he stood alone in the dimly lit chamber, candlelight casting flickering shadows across the walls.

He’d been pacing—he didn’t realize it until he stopped, breathing uneven, fists clenched at his sides.

What he’d said to you echoed in his mind.

You don’t belong here.

A lie. One wrapped in truth, but still a goddamn lie.

You did belong—at least, you did to him. Somehow. Somewhere between those small, accidental conversations and the way your voice softened just for him. You’d become the only thing that made him feel real. Not a leader, not a prophet, not a killer. Just… a man. A person.

And now you were gone.

He dragged a hand through his hair, gripping the strands at the roots like the pain might anchor him.

He had to push you away.

Had to protect his ideals, his vision, his purpose.

Curses wouldn’t vanish if he let himself fall for a non-sorcerer. The world wouldn’t change if he let himself be selfish.

But—

Was it worth it?

Suguru stared blankly at the altar before him, its presence suddenly meaningless. Cold. Hollow.

Was it worth pushing away the only person who made him feel human again after nearly a decade of drowning in blood and faith and fury?

His throat tightened.

And for a brief, broken second…

He wasn’t sure anymore.

You try.

Every time you see him, you try.

A soft “hi” that gets ignored. A hesitant smile met with indifference. A greeting that dies in your throat as he walks past you, eyes trained ahead like you don’t exist.

And still, you try.

Sometimes, you catch him looking. Just for a second. A flicker of something in those dark eyes before he schools his face and turns away like it never happened.

The confusion eats at you. The pain makes a home in your chest.

What did you do?

Why won’t he even look at you?

-

It’s maddening.

The way you keep seeking him out. Like you haven’t realized yet—like you still think there’s something good in him. Something worth reaching.

He wishes you’d stop.

He wishes he had it in him to be cruel. Maybe then you’d let go.

But you don’t. You keep smiling. You keep trying.

And it breaks something in him.

Because every step you take toward him feels like it drags him further away from who he’s supposed to be.

-

The day is quiet. The air hangs heavy with tension as you find him once again, standing beneath a shrine’s shaded archway.

His jaw tightens when he sees you, but he doesn’t walk away this time.

Not this time.

“I want to talk,” you say, voice soft.

He exhales slowly. “What do you want?”

You blink. Your mouth opens—then closes. You hadn’t expected him to ask that. Not after everything.

But you gather the courage. You’ve held it in too long.

“I want to know why you’ve been pushing me away,” you say, voice trembling. “I want to know what I did wrong.”

Silence.

The kind that stretches and suffocates.

Suguru’s eyes fall shut. He stays like that for a moment, shoulders stiff, hands clenched at his sides. He’s thinking. Battling.

When he speaks, it’s low. Almost a whisper.

“You didn’t do anything.”

Your breath catches.

“Then why—”

“Because I’m not the person you think I am.”

His voice hardens. Cold. Controlled. But there’s something beneath it. Something cracked.

“I used to believe jujutsu existed to protect people like you. But now… I know better.” His eyes meet yours, and they’re not empty. They’re burning. “The world is rotting because of non-sorcerers. Because of monkeys who can’t see what’s crawling around them—what we have to fight.”

You flinch at the word.

“But then you came along,” he bites out, like the confession tastes bitter on his tongue. “And I don’t know why, but I can’t hate you. I should. Everything in me says I should.”

A pause. His voice drops, quieter, more raw.

“But I can’t.”

You say nothing. The ache in your chest is too loud. His eyes flicker, searching your face for something—maybe disgust. Maybe fear.

But you’re still there.

And he hates that too.

You take a shaky breath, eyes never leaving his. He’s expecting you to run, you can feel it. Expecting you to look at him the way everyone else eventually did—with fear. With disgust. Like he’s a monster beyond saving.

But you don’t.

Instead, your voice comes out quiet. Soft. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”

Suguru’s expression falters, barely. “What?”

You take a step closer. “You don’t have to do all of this—carry this weight alone, live with this hate. I—I don’t know how to convince you. I probably can’t. But I know you have it in you to see the bright side of things.”

He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “The bright side?” he echoes, voice sharp. “There is no bright side. There never was.”

“But you used to believe in one,” you say. “You wanted to protect people. That has to mean something.”

He shakes his head, almost violently. “It meant something when I thought people like you were worth protecting. When I thought they deserved it.”

“And now?”

“Now I know better,” he says coldly. “The world doesn’t deserve jujutsu. It never did. Curses exist because of you. Because of all of you.”

“Then why not hate me?” you whisper.

That silences him.

You step closer. “If it’s so easy, if we’re all the same to you—then why not hate me too? Why not get rid of me like you would the others?”

His lips part, but no words come out.

“I’ll tell you why,” you say, softer now. “Because you don’t believe all of that. Not deep down. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be standing here trying to convince yourself it’s true. You wouldn’t be struggling so hard to push me away.”

He flinches. Barely noticeable—but you see it.

“I don’t know what happened to you,” you whisper, “or how much it hurt. But I know what I see when I look at you. And it’s not a monster.”

His hands curl into fists. He looks away. “You don’t understand.”

“Then help me,” you plead. “Let me understand. Let me be there for you.”

His throat bobs with a hard swallow. You don’t know if he’s trembling or just trying not to. The silence stretches again, thicker this time.

When he speaks, it’s barely above a whisper.

“You’ll get hurt.”

“Maybe,” you say. “But maybe it’s worth it.”

That—that—makes him look at you. And this time, his eyes don’t burn with hate. They shimmer with something unbearably human.

Fear. Guilt. Longing.

And beneath it all, something he’s too scared to name.

His eyes don’t leave yours now.

There’s something in them that wasn’t there before. Something soft. Fragile. Like the dam he’s built for so long is beginning to crack.

You take one tentative step closer, careful not to startle the moment.

“Can I…?” You don’t finish the question. Your hand lifts gently, hesitantly—just high enough to reach for his. You’re not sure if he’ll take it, swat it away, or disappear entirely.

But he doesn’t move.

And that’s an answer in itself.

Your fingers brush his knuckles.

He inhales sharply.

They’re calloused, strong—but they twitch under your touch, like your skin burns him in a way he can’t fight. Still, he doesn’t pull away. If anything, he leans closer.

Your hands don’t fully link. They just rest there, barely touching—just enough to feel the tremble in each other’s palms.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmurs. “You don’t know what you’re getting into.”

“Maybe,” you whisper, “but I think I want to.”

His eyes fall to your lips, then dart away like he’s ashamed of even thinking about it. Like he’s afraid that giving in, even for a second, would shatter everything he’s built—his ideals, his anger, his carefully crafted distance.

But he doesn’t step back.

You shift, just slightly, to be closer. The space between you is barely there now. Your faces just inches apart, the air shared, electric.

Neither of you moves in.

Neither of you moves away.

A breath. A beat. A heartbeat too loud.

And then, his voice—hoarse and low, like gravel under his tongue.

“This is dangerous.”

You meet his eyes. “I know.”

And for a moment, just one flicker of a second, his forehead tips forward. Barely brushes yours. You don’t know if it’s accidental or not—but it sends your pulse into chaos.

He lingers there. Breathing you in.

Still not kissing you. Still not letting go.

And somehow, that restraint is more intimate than anything else could be.

His hand shifts in yours, and you almost think he’s going to pull away.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, his fingers tighten around yours—just for a second. Just enough to make your breath hitch. Just enough to tell you everything he’s trying not to say.

And then, he lets go.

The absence of his touch feels like a hollow echo down your spine.

“I should go,” he says quietly, almost like it pains him.

“Oh… oh, alright,” you manage, voice softer than you intended.

He takes a step back, but his eyes don’t leave yours. There’s a war in them—between the man who’s supposed to hate you and the one who just held you like you meant something.

And still, he stares.

Until he finally looks away.

Turns.

Walks.

And you’re left standing there with the ghost of his touch clinging to your fingers and a heart that refuses to slow down.

-

You lie awake that night, eyes tracing the ceiling in the quiet of your room, but your mind is somewhere else—with him.

The look in his eyes when he held your hand lingers like smoke in your lungs.

He’s not a kind man. Not anymore. You know that. He’s said as much, shown it in the way he speaks about the world. About people like you.

Monkeys, he called them. You.

But when he looks at you… it’s different. Softer. Torn.

And for some reason, you believe—you know—that the boy he used to be is still in there somewhere. Buried under the weight of bitterness and pain, but not gone.

You saw it.

You felt it in the way his hand tightened around yours like he was scared to let go.

There’s light in him still. Flickering. Struggling. But it’s there.

And maybe you’re foolish for thinking you can coax it out of him. That your presence—your words—could ever be enough to untangle the darkness that’s wrapped around his heart like a vice.

But hope is a stubborn thing.

And you have so much of it—for him.

Because no matter how much he pushes you away, how much venom he spits when he speaks of your kind…

You know he’s capable of more.

You’ve seen it.

And you’re not ready to give up on him yet.

-

He sees you before you see him.

Or maybe you notice him first—he doesn’t know anymore. All he knows is that this time, you don’t smile. You don’t wave. You don’t walk up to him like you always do, like he’s something familiar and safe.

No. This time, you look away.

You stand your ground where you are, eyes fixed on something else—anything else. Your shoulders are squared, posture firm, but he knows better than to think you’re unaffected.

Because he can feel the shift. The distance.

You’d always been the one to reach out. Always the one to bridge the gap. But not today.

And he hates the silence more than he thought he would.

Suguru stays still for a moment, watching you from across the space. The wind brushes through your hair, and for a fleeting second he’s struck by the quiet resolve in your expression.

There’s no malice there. No bitterness. Just… a calm understanding. Like you’d come to terms with something.

And that unsettles him more than your presence ever did.

Because he’s thought about you. More than he should’ve. More than he wants to. And when he walked away that day, he’d told himself it was for your own good. That he was protecting you from someone like him.

But now he wonders if he’s only succeeded in pushing away the one person who saw him for more than what he’d become.

He wants to go to you. Say something—anything. Break the silence that’s eating at his chest like acid.

But what could he even say?

That he misses the sound of your voice?

That your absence feels like a wound he doesn’t know how to treat?

That he’s afraid of what he feels when he looks at you?

Instead, he just stands there. Still. Silent.

And you don’t look back.

Not even once.

He wonders what’s changed.

Why you won’t look at him. Why you won’t smile.

But the truth is—you’ve been wondering too.

You’ve thought about him more times than you’d care to admit. About the way he looked at you that night, how his touch lingered just a little too long, how it meant something. And then how he left—cold, distant, like none of it mattered.

You realized then: he’s pushing himself away from you. Building those same walls you tried to gently tear down.

And it hurts.

Of course you still want him to change. To see the beauty in things, the warmth, the light. To remember what it feels like to hope. But you don’t want to force that change onto him. You don’t want to be a burden—a non-sorcerer girl clinging to an idealistic dream of saving a man carved from tragedy.

You know he can be better. You’ve seen it—in those brief moments when his gaze softens, when his voice lowers just for you. It’s there. Beneath all the anger and grief and resentment… there’s still something left of the kind boy he used to be.

But you want him to find that boy on his own.

Not for you. Not for anyone else.

You want him to choose himself.

So you stay where you are. You don’t look at him. You don’t approach.

Because if he wants to change—if he truly wants to be better—

He’ll come to you.

And he does. He takes a step toward you.

Then stops.

Your back is turned, your shoulders stiff. You’re not smiling. You’re not laughing. You’re not you—not the version of you he’s grown used to. And for a man like him, who once craved solitude, the silence now feels suffocating.

He swallows hard.

Why aren’t you coming to him?

Why aren’t you trying anymore?

Because deep down, he knows—he knows he doesn’t deserve it.

Not after the words he said. Not after he looked you in the eye and tore down every glimmer of connection you built between each other. He told himself it was the right thing to do. That keeping you away was protecting his ideals, his world, his mission.

But now… with you just a few feet away, still and distant… it doesn’t feel right anymore.

He stares at the back of your head, fists clenched at his sides.

He wants to go to you. To say something, anything. But what would he even say?

"I’m sorry I made you believe I cared, just to shove you away?"

No. That would be a lie.

He does care.

Too much.

And maybe that’s the problem.

You glance over your shoulder, just once—and the look in your eyes is like a dagger to the gut. Not angry. Not cold.

Hurt.

It shatters him.

Because even now, even like this—you’re not trying to make him feel guilty. You’re not yelling or demanding anything from him. You’re just standing there, brokenhearted but still kind. Still hopeful in that quiet, selfless way.

You deserve better.

And he hates that he might be the reason you stop believing people can change.

But he’s not ready yet.

So he turns.

And walks away.

And each step tears something inside him apart.

-

It’s raining. Hard.

Cold droplets soaking through your jacket, clinging to your skin, chilling you to the bone—but you don’t care. You just needed air. Space. Somewhere to think, to breathe, to try and forget the ache that’s been lodged in your chest since the last time you saw him.

You don’t know why you’re walking in this part of town.

Maybe you hoped to see him. Maybe not.

But the moment you do, every thought stutters to a stop.

He’s there.

Standing just under the edge of a narrow awning, soaked anyway, like he didn’t bother to move when the rain started. His hair—dark and long, tied up loosely—is drenched and clinging to the side of his face. His monk’s robe sticks to his frame, heavy with water. He looks like a ghost.

But his eyes—those weary, haunted eyes—lock onto you like you’re the only thing still real in this world.

You stop walking.

Your heart skips.

He opens his mouth, hesitates, then takes a step into the rain toward you.

“Why are you out here?” he asks, voice low, rough—like he hasn’t spoken in hours.

You shrug. “I could ask you the same.”

He runs a hand through his wet hair, exhaling harshly. “You shouldn’t be out here. It’s freezing.”

“I’m fine.”

You say it too quickly. He notices.

For a moment, neither of you speak. The rain keeps falling between you. Loud. Unforgiving. Then—

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he says suddenly, his voice trembling in a way you’ve never heard. “But I thought if I pushed you away, I’d stop feeling whatever this is.”

You blink, stunned. “Suguru…”

“I’m not a good person,” he goes on, stepping closer, slow but desperate. “I’ve killed people like you. I still believe the world would be better without non-sorcerers—but I can’t make myself believe it when it comes to you.”

Your breath hitches.

He’s standing in front of you now, so close you can feel the warmth of his body even through the downpour. His fingers twitch at his sides. Like he wants to touch you. Like he’s begging himself not to.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” he whispers, rain dripping from his lashes, “I just… I needed you to know.”

Your heart breaks.

And heals.

And breaks again.

You take one small step forward, tilting your head up to look at him fully.

“I know,” you whisper. “I’ve known.”

Then your hand reaches for his.

And this time—he doesn’t pull away.

His fingers close around yours, almost hesitant—like he’s still not sure he deserves this. Deserves you. But when you don’t pull away, when you step in even closer until there’s barely an inch between you, something in him cracks.

You look up at him, rain clinging to your lashes, sliding down your cheeks like tears you never shed.

He breathes your name. Like a prayer. Like a curse.

You don’t even know who leans in first. Maybe it’s both of you.

And then—

His lips press to yours. Soft. Careful. Like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he touches you too roughly.

Your hands curl into the soaked fabric of his robe, gripping onto him like he’s the only steady thing in this storm. And he is. He always was, even when he pushed you away. Even when he hurt you.

The kiss deepens. It’s not perfect—it’s desperate. Messy. His lips are cold but the way he kisses you is warm. Feverish. Real. You feel every inch of his restraint shatter beneath your fingers, every breathless exhale like a confession he can’t bring himself to speak.

When you finally pull apart, you’re both gasping. Rain dripping off your faces. His forehead rests against yours.

“You should hate me,” he whispers. Broken.

You shake your head, voice trembling, “No. Stop giving me reasons to.”

And he kisses you again. This time harder. Like he’s sorry. Like he’s trying to make you understand everything he can’t say.

It’s rougher—less careful. Like he’s trying to memorize you. Etch the shape of your mouth into his soul before his ideals take him too far again. Your back hits the wall of the temple just behind you, the cold stone forgotten under the heat of his touch. His hands tremble where they hold your waist, like even now, he’s scared of crossing a line.

You pull back just enough to look at him—lips kiss-bitten and wet from the rain, hair sticking to his forehead, eyes full of conflict.

“Why do you keep doing this?” you ask, breathless. “Why do you keep coming back if you’re just going to leave again?”

His eyes close like your words cut deeper than any blade. “Because I don’t want to hurt you,” he breathes.

“Then don’t,” you whisper. “Stay.”

It’s such a simple word. But to him, it sounds like an entire world he's no longer a part of.

“I can’t,” he says, barely audible.

You swallow hard. “Because of them? Your followers? Your mission?”

His silence is answer enough.

You shake your head slowly, eyes searching his. “You’re still human, Suguru. You still have a heart. I’ve seen it.”

He lets out a shaky breath, resting his forehead against yours again, clinging to this moment like it’s the last warmth he’ll ever feel.

“I wish I never met you,” he says.

You flinch.

“But I did. And now everything’s falling apart.”

You press your hand against his chest, right over his heart. “Maybe it’s not falling apart. Maybe it’s just… changing.”

He stares at you, throat tight, and for the first time in years, he doesn’t know what he believes in anymore.

Because in your eyes, he sees something terrifying.

Hope.

His lips brush yours again—softer this time. Less frantic. Like he’s trying to apologize with every slow pull and part of his mouth. His hand cradles the back of your head, thumb grazing your cheek as he murmurs against you, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

Each kiss is a confession.

A plea.

A goodbye that he doesn’t want to say.

You feel it in the way he holds you—so tightly, like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he lets go.

And then— A sound.

Far off, muffled at first. Laughter. Chatter. Footsteps on gravel.

His entire body tenses.

He freezes, then pulls back just enough to listen. His jaw clenches. You watch the warmth in his expression flicker—replaced by that practiced calm, the cold calculation of the man you know he’s tried to be.

“They’re coming,” he murmurs, glancing toward the temple entrance, voice low and urgent.

He takes your hand, leading you around the back of the temple, behind the high wall where the moss grows thick and the shadows stretch long.

When he turns back to you, he’s not just Suguru.

He’s the man hiding a war behind his eyes.

“You should go,” he says quietly, but firmly. “Before they see you here.”

You open your mouth, unsure what to say—your heart still thudding from the closeness. From everything.

“But—”

“Please.” His voice cracks. “I can’t protect you if they find out. You don’t belong in this world.”

Your breath hitches. And for the first time… you don’t argue.

You just nod, slowly, even though it hurts.

He watches you for a second longer—like he wants to memorize you. Burn the sight of you into the back of his eyes.

And then you slip away into the trees, and he turns, just as the voices draw nearer.

The mask returns. But his hands still shake.

-

Each time you find yourselves alone, it’s the same.

A glance across the market crowd. A brush of hands as you pass by the temple walls. A meeting in the still hours of dusk, behind shrines where the wind carries whispers and incense smoke.

And when your eyes meet—it’s over.

No words.

Just his mouth on yours, desperate and gentle all at once. Like he’s searching for salvation in the curve of your lips. Like he’s asking for forgiveness without saying a word.

Every kiss is stolen. Every moment borrowed.

There’s no room for forever here—only fragments.

But it’s in those fragments that something begins to bloom. A quiet understanding. Mutual. Unspoken. Heavy.

You both feel it.

In the way his fingers linger on your wrist after pulling away. In the way you hesitate before leaving, always turning back for one last look. In the way his voice softens whenever he says your name.

It gnaws at you both—this thing. Because it’s real. It’s there.

But the world you come from, and the world he’s built… they were never meant to touch.

Still, you touch.

Still, you reach for each other like you’re defying the very stars that set your fates.

And every time, it hurts more.

Because even love—especially love—isn’t enough to fix a broken world.

Not yet.

-

It’s late.

The halls of the temple are silent, dimly lit by flickering candles that cast long, wavering shadows along the walls. Outside, the world sleeps. But Suguru doesn’t.

He sits alone in the meditation room, eyes heavy, thoughts heavier.

And for the first time in a long while, he lets himself wonder.

What if?

What if he never looked down on them?

What if he’d held onto that old, crumbling ideal—that jujutsu sorcerers existed to protect, not condemn? That their power was meant to shield the powerless, not judge them?

What if he’d stayed?

Stayed beside Satoru. Beside Shoko. Beside the boy he used to be.

The one who looked at the world and believed it could be saved.

His fists curl.

Because he knows it’s too late. He knows too much now—about how vile humans can be. About how curses breed from their ignorance, their hatred, their selfishness.

And yet…

Yet there’s you.

Smiling, despite the darkness around you. Kind, even when faced with cruelty. Looking at him—not with fear, not with disgust—but something gentler. Something he doesn’t deserve.

You make him wonder if he was wrong.

And god, that scares him more than anything.

Because if he was wrong… then all of this—all the blood, the death, the conviction—was for nothing.

He exhales sharply. Runs a hand through his hair, tugging it back as if he can wrench the thoughts out of his skull.

But your face won’t leave him.

Your voice. Your warmth.

The quiet question that lingers in his chest like a bruise:

What if I had stayed?

What if I still can?

-

The sound of the creek is the only thing filling the silence.

Suguru walks with no real destination, hands tucked into the sleeves of his monk’s robe, the cool breeze tugging gently at loose strands of hair that fall from his half-tied bun. He’s restless again—wandering, thinking, searching.

And then he sees you.

You’re seated at the edge of the creek, knees pulled up to your chest, chin resting on them as you stare at the water. There’s a calm smile on your lips. A peaceful kind of smile—the kind that looks rare, like you don’t wear it often.

It tugs at something in him.

You glance up, sensing someone near. When you see it’s him, your eyes brighten. The smile stretches just a little more, as if his presence has shifted something inside you—like it made your quiet moment even better.

“Hi!” you say, like you’re genuinely happy to see him.

Suguru’s chest tightens.

He wonders how you can still smile like that—how it always looks like the world isn’t as cruel as he knows it to be. He doesn’t know how you do it. Or why it makes him want to stay.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” he murmurs, stepping a little closer, but not sitting down. Not yet.

“Well, I live around here,” you say, nudging your chin toward a modest house visible just beyond the trees. “So I come here pretty often.”

“You live alone?” he asks, the question slipping out more protective than intended.

You nod. “Yep.”

His eyes drift toward the house, then back to you. For a moment, he says nothing. He just watches—the way the sunlight dances on your hair, the way you look at him like he’s just Suguru. Not the man who’s built a cult. Not the sorcerer who’s abandoned his own kind. Just… him.

He sits beside you.

Quietly. Close enough that your shoulders almost brush, but not quite. His eyes stay on the creek, though he’s only half-seeing it.

“You shouldn’t be here alone,” he says finally, his voice quieter. “It’s not always safe.”

You hum, like you’re not entirely sure if he means the world… or himself.

But you smile again anyway. “You’re here though. So I feel safe.”

And that just wrecks him.

The two of you sit there for a while.

Not talking. Just existing.

The water trickles past in a lazy rhythm, birds chirp overhead, and the wind carries the scent of earth and flowers and something sweet he can’t quite name.

Suguru doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s felt this. Stillness. Like time isn’t chasing after him with bloodied hands and whispered curses. Like the world’s not crumbling under the weight of its own cruelty.

You tilt your head toward him, watching him with soft curiosity.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” you tease lightly, bumping your shoulder into his.

He huffs a quiet laugh, barely more than a breath, but it’s real.

“I talk when I have something to say.”

“Oh? So you’ve had nothing to say this whole time?” You raise a brow at him, smile tugging at your lips again. “I’m wounded.”

He glances at you then, and for a split second—just a second—his expression softens. “You talk enough for both of us.”

“Rude,” you murmur, though you’re grinning now, looking back at the creek.

It’s quiet again, but this time it feels warmer. Like something unspoken is beginning to bloom between the silence.

Suguru speaks, his voice quieter now. “Why here?”

You blink. “Hm?”

“This place. The creek. Why do you come here so often?”

You pause for a moment, thoughtful. “Because it’s quiet. Peaceful. And it feels… safe, I guess.”

There’s a slight pull in his chest at that word again. Safe.

“And you?” you ask softly. “Why are you here?”

His lips press into a thin line.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe I was looking for peace, too.”

You don’t say anything to that. You just look at him—really look at him—and there’s something in your gaze that feels too knowing. Too tender. And Suguru finds he can’t quite meet your eyes anymore.

So you change the subject.

“I had a dream last night,” you say, voice lighter now. “You were in it.”

His head turns, curious. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling at the memory. “You were... different, though. Not that you’re not you now. Just... happier. Lighter. You laughed a lot.”

Suguru swallows.

You laugh a little. “I know. Weird, huh?”

But he shakes his head slowly. “No. Not weird.”

You tilt your head again. “Do you laugh a lot, Suguru?”

“I used to,” he says quietly, gaze fixed on the water. “A long time ago.”

There’s something in his tone—wistful, aching—and you know better than to press. So instead, you place your hand beside his on the grass. Not touching. Just close. A silent offering.

And though neither of you say anything else, Suguru lets his fingers inch just a little closer to yours.

Almost touching but not quite.

Your fingers are so close. A breath away. Neither of you move. Not really. But your proximity is louder than any words could be.

Suguru feels it—the weight of silence between you, the charged stillness hanging in the air like the moment before a summer storm. He shouldn't be here. Shouldn't be sitting by a creek with someone who’s slowly unraveling the iron threads he's wrapped around his heart.

But you're not doing anything. Just sitting there. Looking at the water, at the sun dancing across the surface.

At peace.

And when you turn to look at him again, your smile is small but it’s real. A quiet kind of affection behind your eyes. “You look like you're carrying the whole world on your back.”

He breathes out a quiet scoff. “Aren’t I?”

You study him for a moment, and your voice is gentler this time. “You don’t have to.”

A pause.

“You could set it down. Just for a while. With me.”

Those words. They undo him.

He looks at you then, really looks at you—soft sunlight catching the curve of your cheek, the way your lips part slightly, waiting, nervous but brave.

His gaze drops to your mouth for half a second too long.

And then—

He leans in.

Slow. So slow it almost doesn’t feel real.

You don’t move. You don’t speak.

You just tilt your chin up slightly, breath catching in your throat.

His forehead brushes yours.

“You make me forget,” he whispers, and his voice is rough like he’s confessing a sin.

And then—he kisses you.

It’s soft. Barely there at first. Just a gentle press of lips, tentative and careful, as if he's terrified the moment will shatter if he pushes too hard.

But when you kiss him back—when your hand comes up to rest against his chest like you’re trying to ground him—it deepens. Slow and reverent, like you're tasting the ache he's buried for years.

No one’s watching. No prying eyes. No judgment. Just the two of you, tucked away by a quiet creek, hearts trembling and wide open.

When he finally pulls back, you’re both breathless. He keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer, like he’s trying to memorize the way this feels.

Like peace.

“…Suguru,” you whisper.

He opens his eyes. There’s something broken and tender in them.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he murmurs. His thumb brushes your cheek, gentle as ever. “But I don’t think I can stop.”

You’re still catching your breath—and then he sees it. That look in your eyes.

Like you're not done.

And god, neither is he.

His mouth finds yours again—no hesitation this time. It’s hungrier, rougher, full of everything he’s been trying to suppress for weeks. Maybe months. Maybe since the first time you smiled at him like he wasn’t a monster.

Your fingers fist into his robes instinctively and his hand slips behind your neck, cradling you gently even as the kiss deepens, as if you’re something both sacred and dangerous.

You fall back against the grass with a quiet gasp, and he follows you down, one hand bracing himself beside your head, the other still tangled in your hair.

He's above you now. Breathing hard. Eyes flickering across your face like he's memorizing every inch of you, desperate to carve this moment into his soul.

And you don’t look afraid. You don’t look unsure.

You look at him like he’s something worth holding onto.

“Say something,” he whispers, voice hoarse.

But you don’t. You reach up instead—fingers ghosting across his cheek, and then pulling him down again.

The kiss that follows is slower. Deeper. The kind that says I’ve missed you even though you were never mine to begin with.

And it breaks him just a little.

Because in this moment, with your body beneath his, hands in his hair, lips moving like a prayer against his—

He forgets the war. He forgets the blood, the ideology, the lies he tells himself to stay sane.

All he knows is you. And he’s terrified.

Because what happens if he lets himself love you?

-

The dream is cruel.

He doesn’t realize it’s a dream at first. It feels too real—the heat of the sun overhead, the sharp scent of smoke in the air, and the frantic sound of footsteps pounding across temple stone.

And then—your voice.

Panicked. Calling his name.

He turns the corner and there you are. Knees scraped, arms bound by a rope, blood smeared across your cheek. You're on your knees before his followers, eyes wide in terror.

“You said she was a local,” one of them sneers. “Said she wasn’t important.”

“She’s not,” another spits. “She’s a monkey. She doesn’t belong here.”

“Wait—please—” you whisper, eyes darting around. “Suguru—?”

But Suguru doesn’t move.

He watches. Frozen. Helpless.

One of the followers raises their cursed tool.

“NO!”

The scream rips from his throat too late.

The world goes red.

He bolts upright in bed, breath ragged, sweat cold down his spine. The room is dark and silent, but he can still hear it—your voice, breaking. His name on your lips.

His hand trembles as he runs it down his face.

It was just a dream. Just a dream.

But what if it wasn’t?

What if they find out?

What if they already know?

And what if he loses you—again?

His fist clenches, heart pounding. He doesn’t know if he’s angry or terrified or both. All he knows is this: he can’t let that happen.

But how does he keep you safe…

When the real danger is him?

-

He shouldn't be here.

Not dressed like this—hood pulled low, robes traded for simple jeans and a dark sweatshirt, hands shoved deep into his pockets. Not standing outside your home under the cover of night, hoping no one saw him slip away from the temple grounds. Not risking everything for the sake of a face that keeps haunting his thoughts.

But here he is.

His footsteps falter at the edge of your doorstep. The lights inside are dim. The house is quiet. He could turn back now. Pretend none of this happened. Pretend the dream didn't shake him. Pretend you don't exist in his thoughts the way you do.

But then his hand rises—and he presses the doorbell.

A few seconds pass. Nothing.

Maybe you’re asleep. Maybe this is a sign. He should go—

He rings it again.

There’s a faint thump, the groan of floorboards, and then a sleepy voice muffled behind the door: “Who is it?”

The door opens slowly, and you blink against the porch light, hair tousled from sleep and an oversized t-shirt hanging loose around your frame.

Your eyes widen. “Suguru?” You stare at him—eyes squinting, confused and half-dreaming. “What are you doing here?”

Your words barely leave your lips before he pulls you into his arms—tight, desperate, like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he lets go.

His hood falls back slightly, revealing that familiar face you’ve only ever seen half-shadowed in moonlight or sunlight leaking through trees. But now he’s here. Real. Shaken.

“Suguru?” you whisper against his chest, your hands instinctively curling around the fabric of his sweatshirt. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t answer right away. His grip only tightens, and you feel the faint tremble in his breath. That’s enough to make your heart clench.

“Come on,” you murmur, gently tugging him inside. The door closes behind you with a quiet click, but he still hasn’t let you go—not really. His arms are still around you, like the thought of breaking that contact might splinter him all over again.

It’s only after a beat of silence, standing there in your quiet hallway under the soft golden light, that he speaks.

“I had a bad dream,” he says, voice low, almost a whisper. His breath hitches. “About you.”

Your heart skips. You pull back slightly to look up at him, your hands still resting against his chest. “What kind of dream?”

But he just looks at you, eyes shadowed with something heavier than he’s ever let you see before. Like he’d rather burn the world than ever see you hurt.

Your eyes soften, your voice gentle, threaded with concern. “What happened? In the dream, I mean.”

Suguru’s jaw tenses. His breath shudders—like the thought alone is unbearable. His gaze drops, eyes flickering somewhere over your shoulder, not quite able to meet yours anymore. That vulnerability he’s always kept behind iron walls is leaking through the cracks now.

You reach up slowly, your fingertips brushing along his forearm. “It’s okay,” you murmur. “If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. I’m here for you.”

He closes his eyes for a moment. His throat bobs with a hard swallow.

“I saw them find out about you,” he says finally, voice quiet and raw. “My followers. They knew. And I wasn’t fast enough—I couldn’t stop it.” His hands curl into fists at his sides. “They hurt you. You were crying. Calling for me.”

He opens his eyes again, and the pain there is like nothing you’ve ever seen in him.

“I woke up, and I didn’t even know if it was just a dream.”

You don’t hesitate. You wrap your arms around him again, anchoring him to the present. To you.

“It was just a dream,” you whisper. “I’m right here. I’m okay.”

He exhales shakily against your shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you,” he says, almost too quietly for you to hear. “Not you.”

Your hand rises before you even realize it, fingers brushing through his hair, warm against his skin as you cradle his cheek. His breath hitches at the contact, eyes flickering to yours, searching. For what—he isn’t sure. Reassurance? Permission? A lifeline?

“Suguru…” is all you manage to say.

Just his name.

But it’s everything.

Then you lean in—urgent, unthinking, needing—and your lips crash into his.

He doesn’t hesitate.

His arms wrap around you like he’s afraid you’ll vanish, like you’ll slip right through his fingers if he doesn't hold you tight enough. The kiss deepens instantly, wild and breathless, all-consuming. You feel the tension bleed from his body and into yours, your fingers slipping into his hair as his own hand settles on the small of your back, anchoring you to him.

It’s not just a kiss. It’s a confession. A plea. A breaking point.

You press closer, sighing into his mouth as he kisses you like he’s starving—like this is the first real thing he’s tasted in years. And maybe it is.

When you part for air, foreheads pressed together, his thumb brushes your jaw. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he whispers.

You smile, soft and breathless. “I think I do.”

The quiet between you lasts barely a second.

Because then he’s kissing you again—harder this time, desperate. It’s messy, teeth clashing and tongues tangling, like he’s trying to pour every unspoken feeling into your mouth. You gasp into the kiss, and he swallows it whole, backing you up until your back hits the nearest wall with a muted thud.

His hands are everywhere—gripping your waist, your hips, like he needs you closer, like he still can’t believe you’re here and real. Your fingers tug at the fabric of his hoodie, fisting it tight, grounding yourself in the heat of him.

His mouth tears from yours only to trail down—over your jaw, your throat—hot, open-mouthed kisses that leave you trembling. His breath is ragged against your skin, lips ghosting over your pulse. You feel his tongue flick at your collarbone before he sucks gently at the skin, pulling back just enough to leave behind the faintest bruise.

“Suguru—” you breathe, chest rising and falling fast, your voice shaky with want.

He groans against your skin, his grip tightening. “I shouldn’t want you like this,” he murmurs, voice low and ruined, “but I do.”

And god, you want him too.

So bad it hurts.

You don’t even remember how you made it to the bedroom.

All you remember is the feel of his hands—urgent, reverent—as he pulled you in, lips never straying far from your skin. He kissed you like he was afraid it would be the last time. Like this moment was all he had.

Your clothes fell away piece by piece, the quiet rustle of fabric hitting the floor the only sound between the hungry kisses. His eyes never left yours, not even for a second—like he needed to memorize every part of you, every breath, every tremble.

And then he lays you down. So carefully. Like you’re something precious. His hands glide along your sides, your arms, your stomach, pausing at each new inch of exposed skin to press kisses into it—soft, slow, like he’s marking you with his mouth. Worshipping you.

He pulls back to lift his hoodie over his head, throwing it somewhere behind him. His breath is shaky when he rests his forehead against yours. “Can’t do this anymore,” he murmurs, voice breaking with the weight of his confession. “Can’t keep pretending like you don’t mean anything. Like I don’t… feel this.”

You reach up, fingers tangling in his hair, and he leans into the touch like he’s been starved for it.

“I’m gonna change,” he whispers, kissing the corner of your mouth, your cheek, the hollow of your throat. “For you. I want you in my life.”

And the way he says it, it doesn’t sound like a promise. It sounds like a vow.

Your breath stutters as his lips trace slow, reverent patterns down your body—each kiss a promise, each touch laced with trembling devotion. You feel his warmth everywhere, like he’s trying to brand your soul with the shape of him.

And then, through the haze of desire and something deeper, your voice breaks the quiet.

"Suguru… what about your followers? What would they do?"

He pauses, lips hovering just above your skin. His fingers twitch where they hold your hips, but he doesn’t lift his head. Doesn’t stop.

“Doesn’t matter right now,” he murmurs, voice thick and ragged, “I’m gonna protect you, sweetheart. Gonna do anything for you. Won’t let anyone hurt you.”

The words land heavy. Solid. 

And the strangest part is that it doesn’t feel strange at all.

To protect you—a non-sorcerer. The very people he built his new world to fight against. The ones he taught himself to loathe.

But now? Now it feels like it was always meant to be this way. It only took you. You, with that voice, that heart, that warmth—to make it bloom again. To make him remember what it felt like to care. 

To love.

He presses another kiss to your thigh, then lower, lower—until his breath ghosts over the most intimate part of you. His voice rumbles softly against your skin.

“Suguru…” you gasp, a breathless, vulnerable sound.

He glances up, eyes dark and blown wide. “Yes, sweetheart?”

And then you say it.

“I love you.”

Time stops.

His lips freeze against the inside of your thigh.

You feel his breath there, hot and uneven, his hands tightening slightly at your hips as your words sink in—like he wasn’t ready for them, like he’d been craving them all the same.

He lifts his head just enough to look at you, eyes wide, blown with something far deeper than lust now—something raw and aching. His hair is messy, dark strands falling into his face, and he’s never looked more human. Never looked more vulnerable.

“Say it again,” he whispers, voice barely audible over the rush in your ears.

Your hand finds his, fingers lacing together.

“I love you,” you say again, stronger this time. With your whole chest. Because you mean it.

A beat passes, and then he’s crawling up your body, kissing you like he’s falling into you—like you’re the only thing keeping him from shattering. Every part of him shakes. His heart, his breath, his resolve.

“I love you too,” he murmurs against your lips. “God, I love you.”

His hands skim your waist, warm and steady, fingertips sinking into the soft curves of your hips like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you. Your breath hitches as his lips move lower—down the center of your stomach, slow and reverent, leaving a trail of kisses that burn in the most tender way. He murmurs your name against your skin, like a prayer, like a secret he’s only ever willing to whisper when no one’s looking.

You feel his hands slide beneath your thighs, lifting you gently, guiding you closer to the edge of the bed with careful control. His grip is firm but tender, like you’re something fragile, like he’s afraid he’ll lose you if he lets go.

His mouth hovers just above where you need him most, warm breath fanning across your skin. He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh—slow, open-mouthed, lingering—then another, closer. And another. He’s not rushing. No, Suguru takes his time, as if every second of this is something sacred. His hands stroke up and down your sides, grounding you, steadying you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, voice low and raw. “Could spend forever just looking at you like this.”

Your legs tremble under his touch. You whimper his name, a soft, broken plea.

His lips finally meet you where you’re aching, and your world folds in on itself.

The first lick is slow—torturously slow—like he’s tasting something forbidden for the first time, letting the flavor of you bloom across his tongue. His groan vibrates against you, deep and low in his throat, sending sparks flying up your spine. Then he does it again—slower, deeper, more purposeful.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging gently, and he groans again, like he loves that, like he wants more of it.

His tongue moves in slow circles, soft and rhythmic, never once breaking eye contact when you manage to look down. His gaze is molten—completely undone. You see it in his eyes—he needs this. Needs you. Not just your body but everything. Your warmth. Your love. The part of you that believed in him.

“You taste like heaven,” he rasps between kisses, and it’s almost cruel the way he says it, so tender it makes your chest ache. “Never letting you go. Not after this.”

And then his lips seal around you again, and everything else disappears—his past, his beliefs, the twisted version of justice he’s clung to for years. In this moment, all that remains is you and him.

He’s not just worshipping your body.

He’s holding on to what little light is left inside of him.

And letting you guide him back to it.

Your thighs tremble against his shoulders as he buries himself deeper, tongue moving in slow, precise motions—too slow. It’s not rushed. It’s deliberate. Worshipful.

He groans low in his throat when you arch into him, his name falling from your lips in a broken whisper. Suguru’s hands tighten around your thighs, keeping you in place, keeping you grounded. But his touch never feels possessive—only reverent.

“That’s it,” he murmurs against you, voice ragged and full of awe. “Let me take care of you.”

And he does.

Each flick of his tongue, each subtle shift of pressure, feels like he knows you better than anyone ever has. He listens to the way your breath catches, the way your hips jerk, the way you moan his name when he hits that perfect spot again and again. He’s learning you like a language—translating every twitch, every gasp, every soft, needy whimper.

You’re unraveling under him.

Your fingers thread tighter in his hair, hips rocking subtly against his mouth as your pleasure builds, slow and steady, like a wave pulling back before it crashes. He hums again—fuck, the vibration goes straight through you—and his tongue speeds up just slightly, chasing your release with more intent now.

“Suguru—” you gasp, chest heaving, the coil in your stomach tightening.

“I know,” he breathes, lifting his eyes to you, gaze dark and full of something deep—want, need, love. “Come for me, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

And that’s all it takes.

You shatter with a breathless cry, back arching off the bed, thighs trembling around his head as he holds you through it. His mouth doesn’t leave you—not right away—his tongue working you gently through the aftershocks, slower now, softer, until you whimper from the sensitivity and tug gently at his hair.

Only then does he lift his head, lips glossy with you, eyes full of a tender kind of devotion that makes your heart ache.

He leans up, kisses your thigh, your stomach, your chest—until he’s hovering over you again, one hand brushing your hair back from your sweat-slick forehead.

“You okay?” he whispers, voice hoarse, gaze searching yours.

You nod, dazed, lips parted as you try to catch your breath. And then you reach for him again—because even after everything, you still want more.

You don’t give him a chance to move. Not this time.

Your hands slide into his hair, pulling him into another kiss—messy, heated, tasting yourself on his tongue. He groans against your lips, deep and low, hands gripping your waist like he’s not sure if he wants to hold you still or pull you closer.

But you’re already moving—rolling your hips up into his, feeling how hard he is against you, how much he’s holding back.

“Let me,” you whisper, lips brushing his. “I wanna take care of you now.”

He looks at you like you just reached inside his chest and held his heart in your hands. There’s awe in his eyes. Something close to disbelief.

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to.” You hush him with another kiss, softer this time. “Please.”

And how could he ever say no to you?

You push him back until he’s laid down on your bed. Your hands roam over his body and you watch the way his muscles flex under your fingers, every inch of skin revealed like something sacred. You trail kisses down his throat, his collarbone, dragging your nails down his chest just enough to make him hiss.

“Fuck,” he breathes, head tilting back when you nip at his skin.

You kiss lower. Slower. Tasting every inch of him, every scar, every dip of muscle like he’s something divine—your god now.

By the time you’re undoing his pants, he’s panting, watching you with a look that’s all-consuming. Like he still can’t believe you’re real. That you’re here. That you want him.

And then you’re straddling him, hovering above him, dragging yourself down slow—so slow—until he’s seated inside you and both of you are gasping, clinging to each other like the world outside doesn’t exist.

“You feel like heaven,” Suguru groans, hands digging into your hips. “Can’t believe you’re mine.”

You lean down, kiss him again. Rock your hips in slow, deep rolls, your body matching his rhythm like you’ve always known it. His hands slide up your back, one slipping into your hair as his lips find your neck, kissing, sucking, whispering your name like a prayer.

“You’re everything,” he breathes. “You—fuck—you make me want to be good again.”

You ride him slowly. Sensual. Every grind, every moan, every kiss dragging the moment out. This isn’t just need. It’s something more.

Something that makes his eyes blur and his hands tremble.

Because for once, Geto Suguru isn’t drowning in hatred or vengeance or ideals.

He’s drowning in you.

You’re still moving above him, hips slow and languid, a rhythm that isn’t rushed. A rhythm that worships.

And Suguru… God, he’s unraveling beneath you.

Head tipped back, lips parted, breath ragged—like he’s holding on by a thread. Every time you roll your hips, his fingers dig into your skin just a little tighter, like he’s scared this is a dream. That he’ll wake up and find you gone.

But you’re not.

You’re here. You're real. And you’re touching him like he’s something beautiful, something worthy.

“Look at me,” you whisper, breath catching as your hand cups his cheek, thumbing the curve of his lower lip. “Suguru…”

His eyes flutter open. And when they meet yours—it’s devastating. There’s so much feeling in them. Raw. Unfiltered. Like he’s never been seen so completely.

“God, you’re so—” your voice catches, fingers splayed across his chest as you ride him, pace stuttering and breath shaking.

“So what?” he murmurs, voice low, teasing, but there’s a strain there too, like he’s barely holding himself back. 

You swallow, eyes dragging down his body. “Big,” you whisper. “You’re so big…”

His breath stutters—just for a second—and then he leans in closer, lips brushing your ear. “And you still take me so well, sweetheart. Made for me, yeah?”

And then he’s kissing you again, lips brushing yours in soft, desperate strokes. “Oh my God,” he breathes against your mouth. “Fuck, sweetheart—you’re gonna ruin me.”

You rock your hips again, slow and deep, moaning into his kiss. “Maybe I want to.”

Your hands slide down his chest again, feeling the way his abs tighten under your touch. His hands travel your back, your waist, your thighs—like he’s memorizing every inch, every curve.

He’s whispering now, between every kiss, every thrust:

“So perfect.” “Don’t deserve this.” “But I’m so fucking glad you’re mine.” “Want to stay like this, want you forever.”

Each word makes your heart ache.

You kiss him again, deeper, letting your tongue slide against his as you move faster—just a little. Just enough to make him groan your name. Just enough to hear that sweet sound he only makes for you.

And when your rhythm falters—when your breath stutters, and your body tightens around him—he knows.

He knows you’re close.

He kisses you through it, hand cupping the back of your head, the other gripping your hip like he’s anchoring you both. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice breaking. “Let go for me. Come on—come on, I’ve got you.”

And you do—falling apart in his arms with a whimper of his name, your body trembling as the pleasure crashes through you, hard and consuming. You cling to him, face buried in his neck, gasping through the aftershocks.

Suguru follows just after, undone by the sight of you, the feel of you, the love in every inch of you. He holds you tight as he shudders with his release, spilling into you with a moan that sounds like it comes from the deepest part of him.

Like this is everything he’s ever needed.

Like this is home.

You collapse onto the bed beside him, breathless and exhausted.

The silence stretches long between you, but there’s no weight in it—just warmth, just the sound of your breathing and his, the subtle rustle of sheets when he shifts beside you. His arm stays curled around your waist, his fingers splayed across your skin like he’s still grounding himself in the fact that you’re real. That you’re here.

“I had someone,” he says, voice quiet. “Someone who tried to stop me before I became the man I am now.”

You turn your head slightly, meeting his gaze in the soft dark. He’s already looking at you.

“Satoru,” he adds. “He was my best friend. We were supposed to protect people together.”

You don’t speak. Just listen. His voice is rough, like each word tastes bitter on his tongue.

“He stood in front of me the day I walked away. Said I didn’t have to do it. That I could still turn back. That it wasn’t too late.”

His jaw clenches, barely perceptible in the pale moonlight.

“I told him it was already done. That the world didn’t deserve saving. That people like you—non-sorcerers—weren’t worth it.”

A pause. A breath.

“I wanted to believe that.”

You reach for him without thinking, brushing your fingers against his hand. He doesn’t pull away.

“But now… here you are,” he murmurs. “Saying the same things he did. Smiling at me like I’m not already ruined. Like there’s something left in me worth pulling back from the edge.”

He’s watching you with something fragile in his eyes. Something old and aching and afraid.

“Maybe I didn’t want to admit I was wrong. That the world still has people in it who are good. Worth protecting.”

Your thumb traces over his knuckles gently.

“It’s not too late,” you whisper. “You’re still here, Suguru.”

He closes his eyes, just for a second, like he’s trying to hold on to that thought. To the hope in your voice.

When he opens them again, his gaze is softer.

“I know now that I can come back,” he breathes. “And it’s all because of you.”

His forehead presses to yours, his breath warm and shaky.

“Only you.”

author's note. just realised this au means no shibuya incident and no one dies. i think.

please do not steal, modify, or translate my work.

[prettyoatmeal]

Thinking about meeting Simon with his freshly bleached hair only to find out he's a natural brunette <3

I'm not sure how canon it is but I saw a tweet a while ago that Ghost bleaches his hair blond and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

You'd always just assumed he was a natural blond. You never really paid much attention to the hair on his arms because why would you? And you never see his legs as his dresser only consists of long cargo pants. His eyebrows weren't too much darker from the blond anyway.

You had no reason to think otherwise. Which only embarrasses him even more when you do find out. He knew you were going to find out eventually, but he never actually thought that far ahead.

He doesn't get time to fix his hair on base so it's only natural that he comes back with his roots grown out. It's a stark contrast to the rest of his bleach blond hair. So when you finally get to see your sweet Simon after half a year, you can't help but immediately notice the change.

At the time he wished you would've just ignored it, but when you caught that initial glimpse of his hair, your hands immediately invaded his scalp. It didn't help either that his hair grew fast.

"You never told me you weren't a natural blond."

"It never came up." he answered gruffly, his uncomfortable shuffling contrasting with the way he leaned his head down slightly and allowed you to inadvertently play with his hair. It felt nice, but he didn't want to admit it then when he was acting aloof.

"It looks nice," you'd say, and he'd scoff. You'd say again, "you look good in brown. Matches your eyes," and he'd just grunt again, acting irritated. Though the way he let out a content sigh as his eyes closed told you otherwise.

*************** DISCLAIMER Under no circumstances do I give permission to copy, repost, or manipulate my work in any way. I am not comfortable with this. If you wish to translate my work, message me privately. My inbox is always open.

[familyagrestefanblog]

I think I know which post you're talking about, but in general, yeah, it feels...very dishonest to automatically categorize every fic that has even the most basic level of negative emotional consequence from - for example - Adrien towards Marinette immediately as saltfic. Even the ones that are literally just 'Adrien gets upset for 5 minutes for something anyone would get upset about, they talk and Adrien's feelings aren't swept under the rug. That's it."

I find it extremely concerning that people aren't even allowed anymore to write any kind of fanfictions to deal with their grievances with Canon ml through basic emotional catharsis (which is what fanfictions are for), especially when it's about Marinette, without being called a salter.

Absolutely everything besides fluff and sugar is automatically salt now. There is hardly anything in between anymore. And people wonder why the Ladynoir July for example wasn't as well-participated as it once was.

I'll tell you why: it's because people know exactly that any mentioning of especially Marinette's shortcomings is a mine field now, but for most that's what would be needed to at least some level to create even positive fan content. I know that's what happened to me again. I WANTED to participate in it again. I MISS participating in it and tried it over and over again to keep the content in a vague vacuum but I simply couldn't manage to not include at least some layer of emotional catharsis through Maribug wanting to make up for her undealt canon faults/ shortcomings

Because for me canon feels like salt now for having Marinette NOT do that. So of course any Ladynoir shipping fic I'll write will have Marinette characterized as the Marinette I loved for so long who genuinely loved her Chaton enough to bring up important stuff she wants to set right and listen, and not keep hiding behind her free passes on his expense, endangering his life for her personal needs to not feel uncomfortable in a conversation.

Sorry that my Marinette wouldn't do that and I can't bring myself to write her as her canon self or leave that unchallenged because it literally goes fundamentally against what the Marinette I still hold dearly in my heart stands for.

So, yeah, count me as upset that any fanfiction now counts as SALT where Marinette is asked to deal with the fact that she unintentionally hurt a person she supposedly loves dearly and it lead to him being justifiedly upset for once in a way that isn't priorizing her over his feelings and entire personhood. Because that shouldn't be salt and I really don't believe that the qualification for salt is THIS abysmally low when it comes to the other characters' honor.

Rarely any of the season 4 'saltfics against Ladybug' I read DIDN'T literally end in a happy ending. Because that's what we wanted too. We just wanted emotional catharsis and explore interesting ideas as well, sorry that your and Canon Marinette can't handle that anymore

Mine can.

I saw someone refer to the fics that came out where Chat finds out about Ladybug telling Alya her identity in Gang of Secrets and gets upset about it as "saltfics" and... I guess? You could consider any of the "Adrien finds out that Ladybug lied about how Gabriel died and/or that he's a sentimonster and she didn't tell him and gets upset about it" fics to be saltfics as well, if you're defining saltfics to mean "any fic that criticizes a character's actions." Which WAS what it was taken to mean when it first started being used.

Thing is, when I use it, that's not what I mean? Just to be clear, criticizing and analyzing a character's actions, and even being negative towards them as a result, is generally okay in my book. When I say that I hate saltfics, I'm more talking about Ron the Death Eater stuff.

Like for me, what I have a problem with is more fics that

A. Criticize characters for shit they never did. Like having Alya ostracize Marinette, outright try to bully her, fics that make Adrien tell Marinette not to make a scene even when Lila's clearly maliciously, intentionally hurting Marinette right in front of him (as opposed to that possibly being just collateral damage of a non-malicious lie), stuff that didn't canonically happen, you know?

B. Inflict disproportionate retribution for things the characters did, whether it's canonical or not. A fic may only be criticizing Alya for asking for evidence that Lila's a liar or is at fault for something before jumping to conclusions, but if Marinette's response to that reasonable request is to cut off her friendship and revoke her miraculous, then that's still very salty.

But yeah. The vast majority of "Adrien gets upset with Ladybug for hiding things from him" fics don't qualify as saltfics by my own personal metric, because most of them are only faulting Ladybug for things she actually canonically did, and usually have a pretty proportionate response - especially for season 5 aftermath fics. Lying about to your boyfriend about how his father died, what kind of person he was, and not telling him he's a sentimonster IS fair reason to be angry.

I generally like fics to still have them make up, but I don't like putting those fics on the same level as the "Alya leads the class in beating up Marinette and yelling insults at her while Adrien just ignores her cries for help even while she's being physically hurt" fics, they're on such WILDLY different levels that it's comical.

[peachdues]

THE GREAT WAR

PART I ♤ SECRET PREGNANCY AU

A/N: After seven months, it's finally here. Part I of Giyuu's Bundle of Joy. This fic involved a ton of research and tears. I hope you all enjoy. Special shout-out to @squishybabei @kentohours @homo-homini-lupus-est-1701 @ghost-1-y and @xxsabitoxx for letting me bombard your DMs with endless snippets from this fic for feedback. Note that this is a multi-part fic, and it will be a non-linear story.

CW: explicit sexual content ☼ MDNI ☼ loss of virginity ☼ unprotected sex ☼ protective/possessive Giyuu ☼ canon-typical violence

LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE

January, 1915

The moon’s rays filtered through the sparse canopy of the trees from above, bathing that small portion of the forest in its silvery glow. There, about twenty paces ahead, Giyuu locked eyes on his target.

A demon; one he’d been pursuing through the dense forest separating his Manor from the base of a great mountain for the last several miles

The demon had yet to notice him, for it was focused entirely on its own prey — a human woman, who was frantically zigzagging as she ran in a desperate effort to evade its clutches. 

She was succeeding rather well in her endeavor, managing to dart out of the beast’s reach right as it snapped its sharp, deadly claws at her back. But the girl then miscalculated her movements and stumbled over something — whether it was a tree root or her own feet, he could not say — and she went airborne. For one, sickening moment, Giyuu feared he would not be fast enough to save her from falling victim to the demon he was readying to kill.

The girl squealed as she fell, just narrowly managing to avoid the swipe of the beast’s claws as they cut uselessly at the air where her back had been only seconds before. Something long and wooden flew from her hand as she sprawled across the forest floor – a broom.

Odd. 

Steps quick and even, Giyuu’s thumb flicked his sword free from its scabbard. Within seconds of him drawing his weapon, the Slayer’s blade sliced seamlessly through the demon’s neck, its head thudding pathetically to the forest floor before the beast could comprehend the threat.

He landed swiftly on the balls of his feet, the Water Pillar quickly shaking his blade free of the demon’s blackened, rotted blood before sheathing it at his hip. A quick job – that was how he liked it; free of fuss. 

Behind him, he heard the leaves coating the frozen ground of the forest shift and crack as the human girl he’d rescued rose to her feet. He grimaced; while helping rid the world of the blight inflicted upon it by demons was his life’s sole and true purpose, and one he fulfilled without hesitation, he was little more than a fish out of water when it came to talking to those he helped. 

The girl had yet to flee; Giyuu suspected she might be in shock, if not a bit simple, and he sought to prod her along. After all, the sooner she left the forest, the less likely she’d end up a demon’s meal and waste his efforts in preserving her life. 

“You should be fine now. Please return to your ho-,” The dark-haired Slayer’s words were cut off with a sputter as the head of the woman’s broom whacked him sharply up the side of his skull. 

Giyuu stood there for a moment, dazed and slightly confused as he turned towards the woman whose life he’d just preserved. 

The Water Pillar had not paid her much mind upon discovering her seconds away from becoming the slain horned demon’s newest meal, his attention having been entirely focused on eliminating his target. But now, without the distracting threat of a man-eating beast, he could see she was clad in the traditional attire worn by Shinto priestesses, though she looked far too young to have achieved such a status. Instead, she appeared to be much closer to himself in age. The front of her red hakama pants were streaked in mud and dirt from her fall, and several strands of hair had fallen loose from where they’d been gathered in a ribbon just below her shoulders. 

And she was glaring at him. 

“What are you?” She demanded, and the Water Pillar noted the faint tremor in her voice that she worked to conceal behind her defensive stance, her broom braced in front of her like a blade. 

A slow blink. “I am Tomioka.” 

It baffled him that he let his name slide so freely when he’d never been one particularly keen on sharing it. Yet, he’d thought that perhaps the exchange of names would get the wild woman before him to calm, and perhaps lower the sweeping tool —-

“What the hell is a Tomioka?” 

Giyuu wondered whether the — Miko, that was what young priestesses in training were called — had hit her head in the fall. “My name.” 

A faint dusting of red spread across the Miko’s cheeks as she realized the absurdity of her mistake, though she still did not lower her weapon. Rather, she jutted it towards him in what Giyuu thought may have been an attempt to be threatening. 

“And what was that thing just now, Tomioka? And what are you?”  Quickly, her eyes swept behind him, scanning. “Are there more?”

Idly, Giyuu wondered why he was bothering to indulge in such a silly conversation to begin with, chalking it up to the mere fact that they were still in a dark forest, with dawn still several hours away. 

The foolish girl would end up a snack for another demon if she did not turn around and go home. 

“It was a demon. I’d been tracking it for several miles when it stumbled across you. You can count yourself lucky — do not hit me again.” He cut off with a warning, eyes narrowing as the Miko drew the broom back up over her head. 

There was a tense moment as the two regarded one another, Giyuu’s eyes locked on the Miko’s trembling arm as she stared distrustfully back at him. 

The girl’s hands twitched as the broom cleaved through the air once more, but Giyuu knocked it easily away, sending the cleaning tool flying uselessly to the side where it rolled under a bush. 

“Are you finished?” Giyuu asked, irritation creeping into his tone as he stared coolly at the flustered Miko. 

“You’ve stripped me of my only weapon, so I suppose I have no choice,” the young woman sniffed, her tone as frosty as his glare. 

Giyuu grimaced. “You would not have lost the privilege had you simply done as I asked.” 

The Miko folded her arms stubbornly across her chest and glowered at him. “You would truly leave a woman defenseless in the woods? With nothing to protect herself?”

Giyuu scoffed. “You are not a woman; you are a menace.” 

The young woman’s mouth opened and closed several times as her face flushed several shades deeper. “Y-you!” 

A crack! somewhere in the woods made the sputtering Miko fall silent with a small squeak, and Giyuu was bemused to find that the woman’s hands shot to him for safety, when only moments before she’d tried to clobber him away from her. 

“You said that…that thing earlier was a demon, yes?” She whispered and Giyuu nodded, tense as his eyes swept through the shadowy line of the trees, searching. 

“Do you think there are more?”

“So long as we continue sitting here like a pair of lame ducks, more are bound to come sniffing.” The wary Pillar replied. “Which is why I suggest you return home — without bludgeoning me further.”

The young Priestess continued to cling to his arm, her eyes wide and anxious. Giyuu cleared this throat, and when the woman’s attention snapped back to him, he pointedly glanced down at her white-knuckled grip on the sleeve of his haori. 

“Apologies,” the Miko blushed, and her hands quickly relinquished their hold on his sleeve. She wrung her hands nervously before her. “Might you escort me back to my Shrine? It’s not far from here – less than two kilometers.” 

Still within his territory — albeit at the opposite end of the forest where is own Manor stood. He grimaced, but nodded stiffly. His efforts to save the woman’s life would be in vain if she walked away from him and straight into the waiting, eager claws of another beast that lurked in the shadows.

The Miko smiled brightly at him and offered her name. Giyuu elected not to reply, and the girl settled into step at his side, a small frown pulling at her lips.

“I’m sorry for earlier — for hitting you with my broom.” The girl — Y/N — said a short while later, the faintest trace of shyness in her tone. 

Giyuu did not think the apology warranted a response, and so he gave none, but the chatty little devil prodded him once more. 

“Did I injure you?” She gestured to the side of his head where her broom had caught him. 

Giyuu snorted, raising an eyebrow at her. “The day I am hurt by a mere broom is the day I retire from the Demon Slayer Corps.” 

Y/N hummed in contemplation. “And what exactly is the great and mysterious Demon Slayer Corps?” 

The Water Pillar’s eyes remained forward. “I should think the name is self-explanatory. There are demons who eat humans. We slay them.” 

Inwardly, Giyuu cringed at the harshness of his words. It did not happen often, but there were times when he wished he was better with them, when he wished he did not come off quite as aloof and callous — 

“You do not know how to talk to people very well, do you Tomioka-sama?” Y/N’s tone was not judgmental; it rather had a mild curiosity to it, as though she were merely commenting on the weather or the quality of a cup of tea. 

But the Water Pillar did not know how to answer her. Kocho once told him that others disliked him, but Giyuu wasn’t sure that was entirely true; after all, no one had ever said so much to his face. 

Then again, if the young shrine maiden’s words were anything to go by, then perhaps the Insect Pillar’s scathing assessment hadn’t been too far off the mark. 

“What even brought you into the forest so late at night?”  Giyuu did not know why the question needled at him, but he found the pressing silence of the trees more disconcerting than the Miko’s voice, and so he was desperate for the distraction. “And why a broom?”

Y/N herself seemed surprised at his sudden interest. “Night-blooming herbs,” she said plainly, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “They are critical for certain rites and medications. And I cannot collect them any other time. The broom was for protection, obviously.” 

“I wasn’t aware shrines still performed rituals,” Giyuu pushed an errant tree branch out of their way, and ahead, faint lights began to swim into view. The Shrine. “Are you not a mere relic of a time long since-passed?” 

“I’ll have you know that we still perform basic cleansing rites for those in the village,” Y/N bristled. “And we provide medical aid, since there is no hospital nearby.”

She shot him a cold look. “Modern medicine would not have developed but for ancient practices such as ours.”

Giyuu frowned. He hadn’t meant to insult the woman. “Be that as it may,” he said flatly. “Demons prowl at night. You wandering into the forest none the wiser  is akin to you waltzing into their territory with a giant sign that says ‘Eat me.’”

Y/N grimaced. “Then what would you have me do? Neglect my duties?” 

He could sympathize with that. “No, I’m not saying you should forsake your obligations,” he furrowed his eyebrows at the thought. “Perhaps it is simply a risk you must take. But you should at least be aware of your surroundings.”

Y/N looked upon him with a miserable expression. “You’re of little help, you know that?” 

Giyuu only frowned, perplexed as to why she couldn’t understand the import of his words.

An awkward silence ensued, punctured only by the faint hoot of an owl. For that, the established swordsman was grateful; noise meant the absence of predators, which meant they were safe – for now. 

“You mentioned tracking the demon earlier – how long had you been doing so?” 

“A while.” 

The girl was relentless. “And you just so happened to track it here? Where it was conveniently chasing me?” 

“I patrol this region. Your rescue was nothing more than coincidence and luck on your part.” 

“My gratitude is endless,” the shrine maiden said drily. “Forgive me for not falling to the ground in prostration.”

At that, Giyuu fell silent and refused to engage in any further conversation. The shrine maiden, for her part, seemed to take his cue that he had no interest in her or exchanging meaningless pleasantries, and so she too, went quiet. 

The forest floor eventually began to slope gradually up, and before long, Giyuu found himself walking along a carved rock path that curved through the trees until it widened at a great set of stone stairs. At the very top of the steep incline, he could spot a great Torii gate.

Y/N turned to him with a beaming smile. “Allow me to introduce you to the Shrine." Tomioka opened his mouth to protest, but she quickly added, “You should at least know who it is you have dedicated your life to protecting.” 

“I’d rather not.”

But she was already leading him up the stairs, his wrist pinched delicately between two of her fingers. Realistically, Giyuu knew it would take him no effort to shake the woman’s hold and disappear into the night. But to his own bemusement, he allowed her to tote him behind her as though he were little more than a useless pet. 

The pair passed under the Torrii and into a sprawling courtyard. Though night sky was a deep, inky black, the perimeter of the courtyard was dotted with several stone lanterns -- toro -- each of which had been lit with a generous flame. Giyuu's quick perusal of the Shrine, however, was cut short as the Miko led him into the Shrine's main structure -- the honden -- and tugged him down a narrow hallway. Based on his rough appraisal of the building, Giyuu surmised she was taking him to the center of the honden, likely where the girl's master was.

His theory was proven correct when Y/N drew up to a great slat of shoji panneling. The Miko knocked softly on one of the wooden beams before she slid the door aside, revealing a great, open room that was littered with scrolls, half-dried pots of ink, and burned incense sticks. There, in the center of the room, knelt the head Priestess of the Shrine. She was an old, shriveled, wrinkled thing. The white hair that she’d gathered into a knot at her neck was as wispy as the thinnest clouds, and a quick glance over her hands revealed swollen joints covered by skin spotted with age.

But the Priestess did not appear to be a gentle elder by any means; her thin mouth was curled down into a sneer that was directed at the Miko at his side, and her eyes were hard and cold.  

"Head Priestess," Y/N bowed to her elder. "This man is called Tomioka, and he helped save me tonight in the forest."

Giyuu resisted the urge to snort. Helped, indeed.

The old woman's eyes shone bright with an emotion he could not name as the Miko continued. "A creature attacked me as I was returning home. Tomioka says he is a swordsman whose occupation --"

“I know what he is, girl,” the Priestess snapped at her student before she turned those beady eyes to him. “A member of the Demon Slayer Corps will always be welcome at this Shrine – particularly one as esteemed as yourself.” 

The Water Pillar straightened at the old woman’s casual mention of the Corps. “I was not aware that of any Shrines so affiliated with the Corps.” 

“There was a time when the Demon Slayer Corps would partner with shrines such as this to carry out its mission,” the Priestess replied evenly. From his periphery, Giyuu spotted Y/N’s head snap toward her mentor, her jaw slack. “Once, priestesses were akin to shamans who offered a variety of rituals for cleansing and protection. You slayers relied on our connection with our communities to operate more effectively, and we in turn, counted on your protection to fight what we could not.”

Despite the distinct scent of sake that clung to the elderly shrine keeper like a cloud, her eyes remained sharp and fixed upon him, and her wrinkled mouth pulled into a rueful smile. “Now, it seems, our wise and benevolent government has forced us both to retreat to the shadows to operate in secret.”

She bowed her head. “You have nothing but my respect, Lord Hashira. You are always welcome here.” 

Giyuu did not respond, but he inclined his head toward the Priestess in polite acknowledgement. 

Y/N gaped at her Master. "Lord --?"

The old woman poured another generous serving of sake and brought the choko to her lips. “Though we are honored by your visit, young Lord, I’m afraid your presence is nothing more than a calculated effort by this one,” she nodded pointedly at the young shrine maiden at his side, whose cheeks pinkened. “To keep herself out of trouble. My apprentice was not permitted to leave the grounds, you see.” 

“Oh hush you old drunk,” Giyuu’s eyes snapped to the irate Miko in surprise. “I told you earlier I was going to the village market –” 

“Telling me while I am in the middle of lessons with the younger girls and sprinting off before I can respond is hardly me giving you permission,” the Priestess’s mouth curled into a sneer. “You’ve defied me for the last time, girl.” 

The old Priestess turned away from her apprentice, dismissive. “You will take the rice bundles and hang them in the drying shed – every last one, for the next three days.” 

“You hag!” Y/N fumed, her face pinched in outrage. “I was on rice duty all last week without an ounce of assistance –” 

“And you apparently have yet to learn your lesson,” the old woman retorted bitterly, shooting the seething Shrine Maiden a withering glare. “Considering you still think it seemly to mouth off at any and every opportunity –” 

The Miko spat a curse at the elder Priestess so filthy and colorful that even Giyuu could not mask his surprise, raising his eyebrow. But if Y/N’s outburst shocked the Shrine’s head, the old woman gave no sign. Instead, she only glowered at the young woman as the latter turned and shoved the shoji door harshly to the side. Giyuu, ever the unwilling observer, was left to be pulled by his wrist back into the hall behind the young Miko before she whipped around to face her senior once more. 

Giyuu had thought himself stunned by the crassness of the Shrine Miaden’s language before, but nothing prepared him for the sight of the obscene gesture she made at the old woman before she slammed the door firmly shut. 

A telling crash on the other side of the wall signaled the Elder Priestess had hurled her empty sake dish at the door with all her might. “And work on your aim!” Y/N snapped before turning sharply on her heel to stomp out of the honden, tugging the Water Pillar helplessly behind her. 

“She seems unstable.” said Giyuu once they were a safe distance away from the main Honden. 

Y/N brushed aside his concern with a flippant waive of her hand. “Granny is harmless. As her charge, I suppose I instigate her nearly as much as she torments me.” 

Granny. It made sense, then, the curious affection the girl held for the rancorous head Priestess, even if he could not bring himself to fully understand it. 

“You are more than welcome to stay the night,” the Miko’s mood lightened considerably the more she put distance between herself and the drunken head Priestess. “We serve breakfast at sunrise, but of course, you’re not obligated to attend.” 

The ravenette’s mouth quirked down in a faint grimace, the only sign of his discomfort. “I should return to my own home.” 

“It’s quite late,” Y/N glanced up at the night sky, now awash with stars that surrounded the fat, glowing moon like thousands of glittering jewels. She turned back to him with a radiant grin. “At least allow me to show you around.”

—

If anyone had asked him, Giyuu Tomioka would not have been able to explain the series of events that had led him here. 

He distinctly remembered telling the vexatious young Shrine Maiden no, that he could not stay the night, yet somehow he’d found himself in the Shrine’s old, musty guest house, already prepared for his stay, a lantern flickering merrily in the corner. 

He glanced warily at the fresh sleeping kimono folded beside his futon. The possibility of him actually sleeping in such an unfamiliar place was nil and while the Water Pillar certainly had no issue in appearing impolite to others, he thought that perhaps the Shrine was affiliated with the connection of Wisteria Houses dotted throughout the land, and he didn’t want to risk offending the head Priestess and cause her to shut her gates to other slayers in need of lodging. 

So, Giyuu paced the floor of the small guest house, restless. Though his eyes remained carefully trained on the window of his room, waiting for the slightest hint of movement that would give him an excuse to leave without offending his hosts, no sign of either his crow or any demonic threat  manifested. Though, he supposed with a frown, it shouldn’t surprise him that he’d not heard from Kanzaburo; the ancient bird was likely flitting about the forest, lost.

He continued to pace until finally, the sky in the East began to lighten signaling that dawn was fast approaching. Stealthily, he slipped out of the small hut that had served as his temporary accommodations and made his way toward the Torii under which he and that Miko — Y/N — had passed upon their arrival.

He’d almost cleared the gate when he saw the elder Priestess standing beside the Torii, apparently waiting for him. Giyuu nodded his head at her, the only expression of courtesy he was willing to give, but he was halted as the old woman flung out a single arm in front of him, her hand flat and palm turned up, waiting.

And that was how Giyuu learned the Shrine was not, in fact, a Wisteria House; not as he was forced to fork over a considerable sum of his earnings into the Priestess’s expectant hand. 

Wisteria Houses meant Corps Members stayed free of charge; the price the Shrine’s keeper demanded in exchange for his brief stay bordered extortion.

At least he’d had the money; if he’d been of any lower rank, the old woman would have cleaned him out.  

He scowled as he departed but his irritation quickly fell away as he finally laid eyes on Kanzaburo, who nearly collided with his Master’s head as he struggled to pant out his orders. 

And so, as the Water Pillar trekked through the forest and toward his new assignment, the view of the Shrine faded behind the dense canopy of the mountain forest, and so too, did any final, sparing thoughts of it, or its inhabitants.

———-

Nearly a month passed since Giyuu stumbled across the strange shrine maiden in the forest separating his Estate from the old Shrine, and the Miko had nearly faded from his memory. Not that such a feat was difficult; the raven-haired Pillar’s mind was far more occupied with tasks like patrol and chasing down leads that could potentially lead the Corps to an Upper Rank demon to focus on much else. 

He’d intended only to find a decent meal and then depart the village before nightfall to investigate rumors of women disappearing in a small town to the south. Night was rapidly approaching, however, and he’d yet to find any vendor that sold anything he liked, much to his chagrin. He was about to cut his losses and continue on, when he spied a familiar blur of white and red idly perusing one of the stalls, apparently oblivious to the impending sunset. 

Without thought, his feet carried him toward her, his annoyance sparking to life. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

The Miko’s – Y/N’s – head turned back and her eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the Pillar standing behind her. 

“Tomioka-sama,” she greeted with a polite bow. “I did not expect to see you so soon.” 

He ignored her greeting, choosing instead to take a step closer. “I asked what you were doing.” 

If she was taken aback by his terseness, she didn’t show it. “I am returning to my shrine after an afternoon of errands,” she replied smoothly. “As is usual for me.” 

“It is nearly dark.” 

“An astute observation,” and to his annoyance, he saw an amused twinkle in her eye. “Do you also know that tonight is also a full moon?” 

Said moon had already made an appearance above them, growing brighter and brighter as the sky faded from twilight to night. 

Giyuu had never been one for rolling his eyes, but the young woman’s knowing smirk grated at something inside him, made him feel as he often did whenever Kocho would make a sly comment with that smile of hers, that for some reason made him feel like he was the butt of some joke only she knew. 

He grimaced. Teasing; that’s what the shrine maiden was doing. She was teasing him. 

“It is nearly dark,” he repeated. “And I did not think you’d be naive enough to risk traveling after sunset.” 

“I believe it was you who insisted I did not have to ignore my duties, so long as I paid attention to my surroundings.” She replied coolly. “So that is exactly what I am doing.”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Fine. If the stubborn girl wanted to be bait for whatever awaited her in the forest once the sun finally set, then that was her choice. He’d saved her once, and he’d given her sufficient warning; what she did from then on did not concern him. 

He was about to bade her farewell when a slurred, boisterous voice boomed her name from across the market. Several heads turned toward the source, including Giyuu's, until he found a round faced, piggish man stumbling away from a sake stand, his cheeks flushed a bright red.

The man repeated the Miko's name in that grating, sing-song voice of his. "Whe're you goin' all by yourself so late?"

He didn't know what possessed him to ask, but Tomioka turned to the shrine maiden. "A friend?"

“His name is Susumo,” she said airily, though she could not conceal her scowl as the man drew closer. “He’s merely the village drunk who forgets to keep his hands to himself.”

The shrine maiden’s eyes narrowed accusingly at the villager, and the Miko remarked, in a raised voice, “And he is not welcome at the Shrine, though he pretends to forget otherwise.”

Susumo only held his hands up, as though in surrender. “You can’t blame a man for wanting to know what lies under all those layers,” and as if the implication of his lechery wasn’t clear enough, he gave the Miko a leering once-over. “Can’t say I was disappointed.” 

“But your friend is right,” he slurred, a smirk forming on his lips. “The dark is too dangerous for a pretty thing like you to risk walking back alone —“

“I shall escort her,” Tomioka said abruptly and she whipped back to him, her mouth falling open. “After all, I’m welcome at the Shrine.” 

Susumo, too, gaped at the Swordsman. The Miko recovered quickly however, unwilling to allow the opportunity to pass or for the Slayer to suddenly come to his senses and realize he’d rather leave her to fend for herself in the forest. 

“You have my gratitude, Tomioka-sama,” and she gave him a small bow of her head. Relieved, she flipped her braid over her shoulder and smiled warmly up at her raven-haired companion. “Shall we?”

She did not wait for Tomioka to answer, nor did she give any further acknowledgment to Susumo, who only continued to stare at the Hashira, his face bright red. With a feigned indifference, she breezed past him, but a sudden yelp from behind caused her to snap back in alarm. 

The first thing she noticed was the proximity of the back of a dual-patterned haori as it stood between her and the village drunkard. The Water Pillar’s shroud nearly brushed the tip of her nose, forcing her to step back. Cautiously, she peered around Tomioka’s rigid form, and her eyes widened at the sight before her. 

Susumo, it appeared, had tried to grab her, only to be cut off by the Water Pillar himself, who snatched him by his wrist. Though it did not appear that Tomioka was using a great deal of effort to restrain him, it was clear Susumo was struggling — greatly so — against the ferocity of the Slayer’s hold, given how a vein bulged in his forehead, his face,  rapidly turning purple. 

Her gaze flicked to the Swordsman’s hand, and she felt herself blanch at the odd angle of Susumo’s wrist. 

She was no doctor, but she knew wrists weren’t meant to twist as his did in Tomioka’s crushing grip. 

“Leave.” the Water Pillar ordered coldly, and there was a darkness in his eyes that matched the brutality of his hold. “Your presence is unnecessary and unwanted.”

“Y-you! Susumo sputtered.

But Tomioka’s grip only tightened. “Now.”

And then he released him, Susumo half-stumbling back from the Swordsman. His eyes were wide with both fear and loathing, and he muttered incoherently under his breath as he massaged his rapidly-swelling wrist.

The Water Pillar, however, did not pay any more attention to the red-faced villager. He turned only to the shrine maiden, who remained frozen in place, her eyes wide. "Shall we?"

Numbly, Y/N nodded and the two set off down the path that led back to the Shrine. Dimly, the Miko noted that the Slayer kept noticeably close to her as they walked, as though he was unwilling to let her wander too far away. The air between them as they traveled was thick and tense. She was on edge enough thanks to Susumo and his oily words, and she was desperate to do anything to distract herself from the buzzing mounting under her skin. 

She cast a sly, sidelong glance at the Swordsman walking at her side. He’d not been receptive to her small-talk the last time he’d escorted her back to her Shrine, but saying something — anything — would be better than this stifling quiet threatening to choke her.

“How old are you?” Before the Swordsman could decide whether to answer, she continued on. “If I had to guess, I would suspect you’re around my age, and I just passed my nineteenth birthday.”

She hummed aloud. “You seem quite young, yet you’ve achieved some level of status as a swordsman, according to Granny.” Her eyes fell to the blade secured at his hip before she lifted them back to his profile. “Yet you’re as withdrawn and taciturn as an old man.” 

Her words, thankfully, seemed to irritate him into responding. “Are you always so forthright?”  

The Miko grinned. “Perhaps I am like you, Lord – what was it? Hashiba?”

“Hashira.” 

“Yes, that. Perhaps I am like you, Lord Hashira – utterly lacking in social ability.” There was a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she brushed her shoulder against his bicep. “But at least I make up for it by talking.” 

“Talking is a distraction,” Tomioka monotoned, his eyes fixed resolutely on the hidden path of the forest before them. “It only serves as an interference to one’s duties.” He looked pointedly at the Miko’s profile, but inexplicably found himself unable to look away. “Or an excuse to ignore them.” 

But she was unflappable. “And yet you are the one who decided to escort me all the way back to my Shrine – so who is the one ignoring their duties, Tomioka-sama?” 

“I think you enjoy diverting my attention,” the Water Pillar retorted, though Y/N could see the rising annoyance in his eyes. 

She felt his gaze bear into her as she flipped her loose hair behind her shoulder. “It’s not possible to distract someone unless they find the diversion in question captivating, Tomioka-sama.” 

The Water Pillar almost looked amused. “And you are certainly that, Y/N.” 

The Miko ducked her head to avoid that piercing gaze, so that the ravenette would not see the faint rosy blush creeping across her cheeks. “I did not think you had the constitution for teasing, Lord Hashira.” 

Tomioka looked at her fully then, a frown tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I do not jest.” He hesitated for a moment, eyebrows furrowed as he scrutinized her. “Nor do I lie.” 

Y/N’s lips parted. There was something about the way the Swordsman beheld her that made her stomach flutter. In her last encounter with the enigmatic Slayer, she’d been so rattled by her close encounter with the demon, that she hadn’t truly noticed much about the man who’d saved her life, apart from his bland detachment and rather unfortunate social skills. 

But now, the Miko was struck by how handsome the raven-haired Hashira was; she was mesmerized by the deep azure of his eyes, as vast and deep as the sea. His skin was a delicate alabaster, and, contrasted with the flesh of his hands which were calloused and scarred, his face had not a blemish in sight.

She blinked, clearing away some of the fog that had crept into her mind, put there by the vexatious Slayer. “I must return to my duties,” she said softly.

They spent the remainder of their journey back to the Shrine in silence. She was quick to break away from him the moment they passed under the Torii, though not before she muttered that he was welcome to stay, should he so choose.

She busied herself with her duties, but even the neediest obligations could not fully distract her from feeling the burning heat of his stare as the Water Pillar’s watched her fiercely from across the courtyard. And nothing, nothing at all could have prepared her for how he eventually  joined her in carrying out her duties, 

The Water Pillar stayed the night once more, departing sharply at daybreak. Later, as Y/N swept the courtyard free of loose brush and clutter long after his departure, she noticed a crow sitting high in a tree, its black eyes watching her every movement. Though its gaze was sharp, the presence of the great, sleek bird did not disturb her, though not as much of a feather twitched from its perch upon the branch as the Miko continued through her day. 

As she’d readied for bed later that night, she realized she’d felt oddly comforted by the crow. She imagined it a silent protector, a new guardian of the Shrine, no different than the statues of the gods which dotted its grounds. 

She settled into her futon with a great yawn, the image of a certain dark-haired Swordsman flickering in the back of her conscience until she was swept into sleep’s sweet embrace.

Just outside the Shrine’s sleeping quarters, the bird remained, eyes carefully tracking every shift in the shadows, waiting. 

And then the first light of dawn broke over the horizon, and the threat of night receded once more.

But the crow remained. 

———

Spring, 1915

The crow became a permanent fixture at the Shrine, though it always seemed to keep strictly to a single tree at the edge of the property, one that gave it a full view of the courtyard and structures surrounding the main honden.

Despite the bird's constant presence, more than a month passed before the Water Pillar returned, though he'd seemed even more sullen and withdrawn than he'd been during their previous two encounters. Y/N did not consider herself a friend to Tomioka by any means, but she was the only one brave enough to approach him as he'd lingered by the Torii, apparently unsure whether he should seek out their hospitality or return to the forest.

"You are welcome to come and sit for a hot meal," she called cordially, though she maintained a tentative distance. She frowned when he did not respond. Instead, the Water Pillar continued to stare unseeingly at the cracked stone path leading to the Shrine's courtyard.

"Tomioka-sama?" She pressed gently and the Swordsman's attention finally snapped to her, as though he'd just become aware of her presence.

The haunted look in his eyes sent a chill up her spine. The Miko cast one, cautious glance up at the sky, and her eyes narrowed at the wall of black clouds steadily rolling in from the east. A shift in the wind brought forth the distinct, metallic scent of rain, and if she listened hard enough, she swore she could hear the distant rumbles of thunder. “You know, there will be a storm tonight — please consider waiting it out here, where it’s safe.”

Tomioka only stared at her for a moment before he nodded. His hand twitched into a vague gesture inviting her to lead the way, and Y/N escorted him to the Shrine's elder, in search of her permission.

Granny Priestess agreed to let him stay, but on the condition he paid for his imposition. The Water Pillar had silently agreed, producing one small money bag from his pocket and placing it squarely in the Priestess’s outstretched, waiting hand. 

The heft of the bag had made Y/N frown; it seemed a great sum in comparison to their meager lodging offerings, but the Swordsman did not object, so she held her tongue. To comment would only serve to irritate her Master, and the old hag was scornful enough to assign her to duties that would isolate her from the raven-haired Slayer.

Only after the old Priestess sauntered off, leaving behind nothing but the lingering, bitter stench of sake, did the Miko speak again. 

“I’m glad to see you in good health, Tomioka-sama,” she bowed, though she thought she spied the corner of his mouth twitch down at her formal greeting. “I trust your patrol went smoothly?” 

The Water Pillar’s expression was tight; dark. “It did not. The demon I was tracking managed to get away.” His jaw clenched tight. “But not before it slaughtered an entire family in the mountains.” 

All at once, the world around her seemed to slow. It had been easy to assume the dark-haired Swordsman before her always managed to find his target just in time, before it could slaughter its victim. Now, as she beheld the lethal coldness that had settled over his features, Y/N knew her assumptions had been wrong. 

Perhaps, she noted with a shudder, her rescue had been the exception and not the rule. 

Beneath the icy stoicism limning the Water Pillar’s eyes, the shrine maiden noted a distinct heaviness that weighed down his shoulders; made them curl slightly forward, defeated.

She resisted the urge to reach out to him, in comfort. “I won’t offer you empty platitudes,” she murmured. “But I can invite you to offer your prayers for those who were lost.” 

He looked at her, brows drawn, and she knew his instinct was to decline, so she added, “I will do it regardless of whether you join me.”

All at once, any protest he had was snuffed out within him. Instead, he was left with a curious softness as he regarded the shrine maiden, so assured and earnest in her invitation. 

He didn’t know why he’d sought out the Shrine.

He’s been angry; angry at himself for not being faster, for allowing innocent people to die on his account of his failure.

He still felt angry. Yet, as he followed Y/N into the Shrine’s haiden to light incense, he also felt a solemn gratitude for the Miko, who’d not let him indulge in his self-loathing but instead requested he act, and act with her. 

So he had; and somehow, the weight on his chest, the one that threatened to suffocate him, lightened bit by bit until Giyuu felt like he could breathe once more. 

Later that night, Giyuu spotted the shrine maiden from his window as she darted around the courtyard to light the tōrō to illuminate the Shrine grounds. A deep rumble of thunder, however, signaled the spring storm had finally arrived. Y/N, however, only continued with her task, huddling over herself to strike the matches needed to finish lighting the lanterns as rain began to dampen the landscape around her.

He was about to go outside and demand she return to the warm, dry haven that was the girls’ sleeping quarters lest she catch a cold, but then the last of the lanterns were lit and the shrine maiden straightened.

And then she tilted her face up toward the sky, allowing the rain to wash over her. 

And she grinned. And Giyuu was mesmerized; so much so, that he had not stopped staring at where she’d stood, laughing in the rain, even long after the Miko retired to bed.

-

Y/N awoke well before sunrise the following morning and spent hours laboring over the hot stoves in the kitchen. By the time the sky finally lightened, she'd only just finished her task and was in the process of boxing up her creation when she spotted one of her fellow shrine maidens passing by the entryway.

The Miko called out her name. "Has Lord Tomioka awoken yet?"

Her sister trainee lingered in the doorway. "Oh yes, he's been up for a while," and the girl looked back over her shoulder. “But he is already on his way out —“

The Miko swore viciously under her breath as she slammed a lid atop the small bento and hastily wrapped it in the small cloth she’d swiped from the laundry. 

“Move,” she barked at a small group of trainees that had gathered in the hallway outside the kitchen. The girls flattened themselves against the wall as Y/N sped by. She hurtled up the stairs, nearly tripping in her haste. Just as she burst into the courtyard from the honden, panting and winded, she spotted him.

“Tomioka-sama!” Y/N called, hurrying after the retreating form of the Water Pillar before he could pass through the shrine gates. “I have something for you!” 

The raven-haired slayer turned back to her, his face neutral, though Y/N could tell, by the slightest raise of his brow, that she’d piqued his interest. 

“Thank goodness you hadn’t left yet,” the Miko said brightly, holding out a small bundle wrapped in furoshiki cloth. “I was worried this wouldn’t be ready before you did.”

Tomioka’s eyes dropped to the parcel in her hands. “What is it?” 

Y/N motioned for him to take it, and to her slight surprise he did, holding it slightly in front of him as though it were liable to burst open. “A meal for the road. Granny and I prepared it this morning — as thanks, for everything you’ve done.” 

But the Water Pillar was already shaking his head, trying to press the package back into the shrine maiden’s hands. “I need no thanks; I do my job, and your shrine happens to be part of it.” 

If his words disappointed her, Y/N did not show it. “And yet we are grateful all the same,” she said firmly, arms crossing in front of her chest to avoid taking the small bento back. “Besides, it’s salmon; it will only go bad if you don’t eat it.” 

Had she not been watching him, Y/N would have missed the slight widening of his eyes, or the way his hand twitched back towards himself, bringing the packed lunch closer to him. 

Cerulean eyes watched her for a long moment, before dropping as Tomioka tucked the bento into his pocket. 

“Thank you,” was all he said before he turned away and continued through the gates of the shrine, setting off on the path which would lead him through the forest. 

If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve sworn the Water Pillar looked happy as he departed. 

———

The Slayer returned exactly one week after she’d given him the home-cooked salmon – but he did not return empty-handed. For there, wrapped in the same furoshiki cloth, was a strange, oblong object, sitting in the palm of his hand though if he thought it heavy, Tomioka gave no indication. 

“What’s this?” Y/N leaned curiously over the Pillar’s outstretched hand and squinted, trying to discern what the cloth could have been concealing. 

Tomioka pushed his hand toward her, beseeching her to take the parcel from him. “A knife.” 

The Shrine Maiden looked up at him in alarm, pulling away from the Water Pillar. “Why on earth would I need a knife?” 

He rolled his eyes. “Protection.” 

“From what?” The Miko wrinkled her nose down at his offering, though there was a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “As I recall, I walloped you just fine with my broom.”

Tomioka shot her a dull look. “Be that as it may, cleaning tools are useless against demons. Without the sun, the only thing that works against them is decapitation with this — its metal is unique.” 

He parted the folds of the cloth to reveal a simple blade, though Y/N found it daunting all the same. The hilt was basic, an unembellished metal handle wrapped in plain black leather. The blade itself was an unassuming silver, slightly longer than her hand. 

The Slayer motioned for her to take it, though she only shrunk away. “You know how to use one, yes?” 

The Miko’s eyes met his, wide and anxious. “For domestic uses, of course, but not –” 

Tomioka’s fingers closed around her wrist and lifted, guiding her hand toward the dagger. His hand moved to cover hers, wrapping them both around the hilt of the blade before squeezing. “Grip it like this,” he held their joined hands up for her to inspect. “Keep your hand in a fist; do not lift your fingers away from the grip – that’s the best way to injure yourself instead of your target.” 

But the shrine maiden could hardly focus on the Pillar’s instructions. Her attention was directed entirely at the way her hand was swallowed by his, his skin warm and his grasp firm. She studied how his calluses – thick and forged from years of brutal sword training – pressed against hers; how, despite the roughness of his fingers and palms, and his solid hold still remained gentle. 

“-- and thrust like this,” he remained oblivious to her distraction as moved her arm in a sharp jab, a second and then a third time, before dropping her hand.  “Now do it yourself.” 

His command startled her out of her trance, a heat creeping up her neck from beneath the collar of her kosode. She held out the blade awkwardly before her as scrambled to recall the Water Pillar’s words. To her dismay, all she was able to conjure was the memory of his touch, and how cold she suddenly felt without it. 

Lamely, she mimed jutting the knife at an invisible enemy, the blade gracelessly wobbling through the air. Though she was by no means a swordsman, even she knew something was off, her movements disjointed and clumsy.

She glanced shyly back to the raven-haired Demon Slayer and deflated as she was met only with bemused resignation.

Tomioka shook his head in disdain. “Perhaps you would fare better with a broom.” 

The Miko bristled. “I am not a swordsman —“

“You’ve made that abundantly apparent.” 

“— and I do not have the basics you seem to take for granted.” She finished, glaring indignantly at her raven-haired companion. “So teach me.”

The Water Pillar considered her for a moment before he gave her the slightest, almost imperceptible nod of his head. 

“Watch me.” He turned his body toward the Miko and mimed getting into a defensive stance — feet ajar, his weight evenly distributed on each leg, and bent. 

He looked back to the Shrine Maiden expectantly, and she parroted his movements, crouching into what she imagined was the perfect mirror of his position.

It wasn’t.

“No — you need to—“ Tomioka straightened and huffed, impatient. He moved quickly behind her, and without thinking, his hands shot to grip her hips to guide them into the proper stance, until her weight was evenly distributed on both feet. 

“Like that — now bend your knees.” The ravenette pushed down on her hips until her legs bent, apparently oblivious to the way the Miko flushed crimson.

He was close; far, far too close. She’d never been touched the way the Water Pillar touched her. Tomioka’s hands were twin brands, burning her skin even through the layers of her shrine attire, and it sent every nerve beneath her skin buzzing.

She was aware of every inch of him pressed against her; of his arms, caging her in, his hands twin brands against her hips as he turned and pulled her into the proper stance. She was aware of how warm he was, of how formidable his presence felt, even though to her, he posed no threat. Every movement of his was precise and fluid, like the water he’d claimed to style his techniques after.

And if his touch wasn’t distracting enough, his scent threatened to overwhelm every last bit of sense she’d clung onto. Y/N didn’t know how she hadn’t noticed how good he smelled — like mahogany and citrus — so rich and so warm; a stark contrast to his otherwise cold and aloof nature mask.

The swordsman, however, appeared to remain oblivious. “There,” he finally said, having satisfied that she’d achieved proper form. For moment, the two of them lingered there, with Tomioka’s chest against the shrine maiden’s back, his hands remaining steady in place on her hips. It was as though they’d frozen: Y/N, out of a mixture of shock and red-cheeked embarrassment, and Tomioka out of utter cluelessness.

Another beat passed before the Water Pillar finally realized the compromising nature of their position. His hands dropped quickly from her hips, and there was a rush of air at Y/N’s back as he swiftly stepped away, putting distance between them once more. 

The raven-haired Slayer gruffly cleared his throat. “You should also keep wisteria on you.” And Y/N gulped down her embarrassment to turn back toward him. 

Tomioka kept his face neutral and cool, but the tips of his ears had turned pink. “Check your perfumes for it or ask one of the other shrine girls if you can borrow theirs – oil would be better. More concentrated”

Any residual awkwardness that may have lingered fell quickly away. The Miko only stared blankly at him, her head tilted slightly to the side as her eyebrows pinched together. “Perfume?”

Tomioka blinked. “Yes. As all women have.” 

It was an effort to fight off the smile twitching at the corners of her lips. “Exactly how many women do you know, Tomioka-sama? Such that you would know their perfumery habits, that is.” 

His mouth thinned into a firm line. “Enough.” 

And though Y/N supposed he’d meant to sound self-assured and confident, the Slayer was betrayed by the slight doubt in his voice, as though he’d been questioning his own answer. 

The shrine maiden only continued to look at him, her eyebrow slightly raised, amused. The longer the silence stretched between them,the more awkward the ravenette grew, his discomfort plain from the way he shifted under her stare. 

“You seem like someone who would use it.” He finally offered, after another moment of quiet.

It was her turn to blink, taken aback. Her smirk quickly slid from her face and with a grimace, she felt her right eye twitch, ever so slightly. “Apologies, then, for disappointing you.” 

Tomioka frowned and he made like he was going to respond, but the Miko squared her shoulders and stalked briskly past him. 

“I must return to my duties, and I’m sure you need to do the same,” she paused in the doorway of the garden hut and cast one, sidelong glance back to where he stood, clueless. “Until next time, Tomioka-sama. Thank you for the blade.”

With that, the Miko paced briskly away from the garden hut, her spine stiff. The Water Pillar remained in place for a moment, stupefied, before he collected himself once more, before setting off back toward the forest; to his Manor.

And as Giyuu retreated through the rusting Torii gate, he could not quite shake the distinct impression he’d done something wrong, though he knew not what. 

–

The Water Pillar returned the following week, though to a decidedly cooler greeting than that which he’d steadily grown accustomed to receiving. 

That wasn’t entirely true — the majority of the Shrine’s residents had welcomed him warmly, their kindness always far more than he thought he deserved. Only one hadn’t greeted him as enthusiastically as the others, and to his annoyance, that one was the only person whose opinion of him mattered, even if he couldn’t quite articulate why.

She hardly stopped to acknowledge his arrival, only gracing him with a brisk nod, though she’d refused to meet his eyes. Bemused, Giyuu followed her across the courtyard as she made her way to the Shrine’s small storeroom. He leaned against the doorway and watched as the Miko began pulling jars of dried herbs from the rickety shelves lining the walls and stacked them on a sizeable work counter that cut halfway across the room. All the while, she continued pointedly ignoring him, humming lightly under her breath as though she could not see or hear him as he shifted against the doorframe, waiting.

Her obstinate silence grated at him. “May I assist you?”

“No, no, I am perfectly fine, thank you.” She turned away to browse the shelves once more, before finding what she needed: a stone mortar and pestle.

The grinder settled against the wooden counter with a heavy thud and the shrine maiden snatched up one of the jars she’d stacked and dumped its contents into the bowl, followed by another bottle of herbs. Pestle in hand, she set to work grinding the leaves together, mixing in a vial of fragrant oil she’d kept in her pocket to create a thick paste.

Giyuu watched her quietly as she worked. “You’re…” he frowned. “You’re behaving strangely.”

Y/N glanced up at him. “In what way?” 

“You’re trying to avoid me.” 

“Am I?” She straightened, rolling her shoulders. “Only because I’ve not yet bathed today. I didn’t want to risk offending you with my stench.” 

Giyuu paused. “Why would that matter?” 

“You made sure to point out you thought I needed perfume during your last visit.” 

He pushed off the doorframe, eyebrows knit together. “For protection.” 

The shrine maiden rolled her eyes. “Yes, and apparently, because you believe I am the type to need it.” When Giyuu only continued to stare at her with that same, mildly lost expression, Y/N groaned, exasperated. “You implied I stink.” 

The Water Pillar’s jaw slackened as he gaped at her. “That is not –” 

“It is what you implied,” she repeated, turning away from him to focus on her task of grinding herbs, though the force with which she ground the pestle was perhaps greater than necessary.

Giyuu rounded the small countertop of the Shrine’s storeroom to face her head-on. “I like how you smell.” He insisted. “It’s nice.” 

The Miko’s irritated churning of the stone paused and her eyes finally lifted to his. For a long moment, she watched him, head slightly cocked. 

“You are very odd, Tomioka-sama.” 

But she said it with a small smile that he almost wanted to return. 

Before long, things between them returned to normal once more, with the Miko directing him to collect her gathering basket from where she’d left it in the Shrine’s infirmary and bring it to her. Once he returned, he helped her grind charcoal to make incense sticks as she chatted happily away. 

Surprisingly, Giyuu found himself not only engaged in her musings about daily life at the Shrine, but offering her small personal anecdotes of his own, though he was not nearly as proficient as she when it came to story-telling.  

Once the sun began setting once more, and he received no new orders from Headquarters, he simply sought out the Shrine’s head Priestess and silently passed her a small money bag. 

And then Giyuu retired to the guest’s quarters for the night. 

—--

As spring warmed into summer, the Water Pillar began making bi-weekly visits to the Shrine that quickly melted into habit; expectation. Once a fortnight, a thrill would settle over the young maidens in anticipation of the arrival of the stoic yet handsome Slayer, with girls of all ages eagerly looking toward the Shrine gates in hopes of spying him the moment he crossed beneath the Torii. The elder employees of the Shrine had learned to time Tomioka’s arrival by listening for their excited gasps, exhaled as a collective as brooms and rices sacks were dropped where their handlers stood, the girls far too interested in rushing to greet the exalted Slayer than they were in completing their tasks. 

“I do not see the reason for such excitement,” she sniffed, though even she wasn’t stupid enough to think her fellow trainees bought her bluff. “He is only a swordsman.” 

“A handsome one,” a wispy trainee named Miyoko sighed dreamily. “And no doubt strong and capable.”

The group of maidens dissolved into another fit of giggles, concealing their blushes behind their hands.

“His face is attractive, but his hair is odd,” another commented. “It looks like he’s hacked at it with his own blade.” 

“Oh, who cares about his hair? I’m far more interested in what’s beneath that uniform —“

“Enough,” Y/N snapped. While her friendship with the Water Pillar was tenuous  at best, the suggestive way her sisters-in-training spoke of him left her feeling decidedly discomforted.

Though, if she were honest with herself, she’d admit that she, too, wondered whether Tomioka’s strength was the product of a finely-hewn tuned physique. But she wasn’t, so she bottled that thought up and tucked it tightly away, where it belonged. 

Slowly, her cohorts all turned to look at her.

“You seem to spend a great deal of time with him, Sister,” Miyoko directed at Y/N, who felt her cheeks heat. “Is there anything you’d like to share?”

“Tomioka-sama always asks where Sister Y/N is, the moment he arrives!” A tiny voice chimed, and Y/N’s eyes slid shut in an effort to fight off a wince.  “Sometimes they even do chores by themselves!”

Komatsu. At only ten, she was the Shrine’s youngest trainee, and followed Y/N around like a shadow. Not that the shrine maiden minded all that much; she tended to spoil the girl a bit, when she could. But as pure as the girl’s intentions surely were, she’d yet to lose that childlike earnestness that made her prone to revealing information that Y/N rather remained a secret. 

“Alone with a man?” Miyoko repeated, her eyes shining with malicious glee. “How scandalous — even for someone without a family to embarass, dear Y/N.”

“Careful, Miyoko,” she warned softly. “Don’t go speaking on matters of which you know nothing.” 

“Or what? What would you do?” 

As fond as Y/N was of her sisters-in-training, one did not make it through the Shrine’s rigorous education and training without learning how to trade in the kind of currency young women valued most.

Information; specifically, gossip. 

So the shrine maiden only leveled Miyoko’s own smug smirk with one of her own. “Or I shall tell Granny how you spend your afternoons kissing the boys from the village, rather than tending to your lessons.” 

The other girls gasped, their stares turning back to the gossiping shrine maiden. She savored how quickly the girl’s prideful grin slipped from her face as the weight of the threat settled. 

While Y/N, parentless and thus without anyone to truly care about her propriety, was being primed to take over Granny Priestess’s position overseeing the shrine, her position was unique. She was parentless and thus, without anyone to truly care about her propriety or whatever other ridiculous expectations of modesty that were often attached to other young women her age. In being no one, Y/N was relatively free to do as she pleased, and that freedom almost made up for her lack of belonging.

But the other girls residing at the Shrine were different. Families across the region sent their daughters to the Shrine for training, not only in their cultural practices and arts, but also for education; to become well-rounded women who would then serve to be valuable marriage prospects once they returned home. 

Scandal would not affect her; but it would affect someone like Miyoko.

“How do you think your parents would feel, to know their heir was behaving so brazenly in public? Risking her reputation on the marriage market before she’s even entered it?”

Truthfully, she liked Miyoko; had gotten along well with her, in fact. But she would not risk those sacred few moments she spent with the Water Pillar in an effort to keep the peace with another trainee. Not when those few instances she spent in his company were the only times she’d felt connection — true, human connection and belonging. 

Her sister-in-training ruefully fell silent, and Y/N savored her victory. Later, when she was left with nothing but the company of her own thoughts, however, the exchange played back in her mind.

In all her posturing, she’d managed to avoid having to answer for Miyoko’s lofty observation. 

You seem to spend a great deal of time with him, Sister. 

She did; and, to her slight horror, she realized that she had no interest in stopping. 

She only wanted more.

–

It was past dawn when Giyuu trudged under the great Torii gate of the Shrine, exhausted and aching. 

It had been a long while since a demon was last capable of wounding him, but he’d been blown backward by a delayed attack that hit after he’d beheaded the damn thing. As a result, he’d been sent flying back, slamming through a dilapidated wall of the abandoned hut he’d tracked the creature to, resulting in a sizeable gash to his shoulder. 

He grit his teeth in mild annoyance. He would need some treatment of his wounds — not that they were deep by any means, but they were substantial enough that he knew infection could spell trouble for him, should it spread. 

Some small, irate voice in his head snidely reminded him he could have just as easily gone to the Butterfly Mansion for treatment — that, in fact, the Insect Pillar’s estate had been much closer to the location of his mission than the Shrine had been. He’d rationed that, as much as he admired and respected Kocho, he was still a bit raw from her mocking about how unliked he truly was among his comrades. 

Besides, he groused. Kocho was not the one he really wanted to see, anyway. 

He found Y/N in the Shrine’s storeroom, seated upon the floor with a detailed ledger spread out before her as she took inventory of various scrolls and texts.

Giyuu did not bother to announce himself. “You have medical training, do you not?”  

The Miko startled, the charcoal stick she’d been using to tally the ledger clattering to the floor. She blinked up at him in surprise. “Tomioka-sama — welcome, it’s been a few weeks — forgive me, I did not see you come in.” She quickly rose to her feet, shutting the store ledger and tucking it under her arm. 

Her eyes found the blood-stained shoulder of his hair and widened. “I have some; I can stitch and dress wounds —“

He nodded. “Then I require your assistance.” 

—-

Y/N led him to a small office inside the honden that served as the Shrine’s unofficial infirmary.  “Take a seat,” she nodded at a small stool that sat under the room’s solitary window, right by a modest working table. “Let me see what we have.” 

Tomioka sat upon the stool with his back to her as she busied herself sifting through cupboards in search of supplies. “What sort of wound is it?”

She turned back and nearly dropped a tin of medicinal salve she’d located as she beheld the Water Pillar strip himself of his clothing from the waist up. 

There, across his right shoulder blade, she saw it — saw his blood. Quickly, she located thread and a needle and she grabbed a roll of cloth that could double as wrappings and she crossed back across the room.  

She spread her bounty out across the table, right beside the neatly folded pile of his clothing. Silently, she set to work cleaning the gash, and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief when she saw that it was little more than a shallow flesh wound.

“Lucky you, this won’t need stitching,” she said lightly as she wiped away the last of the dried blood from the Water Pillar’s skin. “But I shall need to wrap it so it won’t become infected.”

Tomioka only gave her a curt nod. She stepped back to work open her tin of medical salve, and as she warmed the substance in her hands, she let herself fully examine the Swordsman sitting before her. Her eyes trailed over the sculpted planes of his back. It surprised her how muscular he was, given his leanness. Yet, without the layers of his uniform shirt and haori, she could see he was well-built, each muscle defined. 

She didn’t know why it surprised her that there was a man beneath the mask of the Slayer, but what a man he was. Her mouth went dry at the thought. It was an effort not to allow her eyes to wander lower; to ponder what he might look like under his uniform pants, stripped and fully bare before her — 

“What is that scent?” Tomioka’s sudden question startled her away from her increasingly treacherous thoughts. 

She’d never been more grateful to be facing away from him. That way, he could not see the blush coloring her cheeks as she hastily slathered the salve across his wound. “Anti-septic; I know it’s rather stringent, but — ”

The Water Pillar shook his head. “I know what antiseptic smells like. I mean you. The scent you wear.” 

She pursed her lips for a moment before she recalled the distinctly floral scent of her cleansing oils. “Sakaki blooms, I suppose.”

“What properties does it have — what are its effects on others?” He pressed. She was surprised at how insistent he seemed, and there was almost an urgency in his tone that unsettled her. 

“None, to my knowledge — why do you ask?”

The tips of Tomioka’s ears turned pink and he turned away from her, lips pressed into a firm line. “Forget I said anything.” he muttered after a moment, his shoulders and spine stiff.

Neither one of them spoke again as Y/N finished treating the Water Pillar’s  injury and wrapped it. 

“You're done,” she said after a moment, tapping him lightly on his other shoulder. 

“You have my thanks,” Tomioka quickly refastened the buttons of his uniform shirt as the Miko stepped aside, pointedly wiping her hands clean with a small cloth. She only looked at him once he lifted his haori from where he’d carefully laid it atop the small examination table, but her eyes narrowed as he rose from the stool, shrugging the material back over his shoulders. “I am happy to pay you for the resources you used —“ 

Y/N did not appear to be listening, not as she leaned forward and pinched the sleeve of his haori between her thumb and index finger. 

“You have a tear,” she frowned, rubbing the fabric between her fingers. “Right here, see?” 

There, on the side bearing his sister’s half of his haori, right where his sleeve met his shoulder, was indeed a small hole, the threads around it broken and shifting slightly in the wind. 

The Miko’s hand fell away, and she squared her shoulders, mouth set in a firm but determined line. “If you’ll give me a moment, I assure you I can have it repaired in no time –” 

“Not necessary,” the Swordsman said abruptly, twisting back from her. “I can figure it out on my own.” He would not part with it, would not so much as let another put their hands on it and risk ruining his most cherished possession. 

Y/N only stepped toward him, ignoring his attempt at distance. “There’s no need to be prideful,” she huffed impatiently. “Truly, it would take no effort at all –”

“No.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” She snapped, but her hands continued reaching for him, for his sleeve – 

Tomioka snatched her wrist mid-air and held it there, halting her. “No one touches this. Understand?” 

Y/N’s lips parted in faint surprise at the Water Pillar’s severity. Her eyes darted to where his fingers were locked tight – uncomfortably tight – around her wrist. When she glanced back at the stone-faced Slayer, she felt a chill lick down her spine. She’d known he could be intimidating against threats, even without saying a word. It was his eyes – his eyes would harden, with the lapiz hue of his irises darkening to something more akin to indigo, as he stared down an opponent. She’d witnessed it the very first night she’d met him. 

She just hadn’t thought she would ever be on the receiving end of such a cold glare. 

“I understand,” she said softly, and she began flexing her wrist against his grip in an effort to work herself free from his hold. “Please forgive my indiscretion, Tomioka-sama. I overstepped.” 

The raven-haired Slayer blinked and quickly let her go, her wrist falling limply back to her side. Just outside the infirmary’s small window, he heard the familiar, urgent cry of a crow.

He’d never been more grateful for a distraction.  “I must be on my way.” His tone was stiff; clipped. 

“But — you’ve only just arrived —“ 

“Farewell, Y/N.” Giyuu gave her a curt nod.

Helplessly, the Miko watched as the Water Pillar stalked out of the small office, his hands curled into fists at his sides. He did not so much as spare a glance back, leaving Y/N to wonder whether she would see that odd patterned haori again.

The thought she might not made something cold and heavy sink into her gut.

—-

(One week later)

It wasn’t often that Giyuu Tomioka found himself annoyed, much less angry. He much preferred channeling his existing emotions into slaying demons, allowing them to taste a fraction of the rage and hatred he felt deep within, a vicious fire he so rarely let bubble up to his service.

Until that evening. After the fiasco that was Mount Natagumo and the subsequent chaos at the Master’s mansion as a result of the Kamado boy and his demon sister, Giyuu had finally noticed that the previous day’s trials had resulted in the tear along the shoulder of his haori that he knew could no longer be ignored. 

He grit his teeth; the battle against the Lower Moon spider demon had hardly required him to exert any energy — yet the demon’s last ditch attempt to preserve its life had managed to enlarge the small hole in his most prized possession, and the Water Pillar was utterly without the skill to repair it. 

So, he’d been forced to sit through the meeting with the Master, the hole in his haori feeling more like a gaping wound that only festered with every passing moment, until finally, finally they’d been dismissed. 

Giyuu hadn’t wasted any time departing swiftly from his Master’s estate, though that hadn’t stopped him from catching the tail end of Shinazugawa’s biting remark of how fuckin’ typical it was for him to leave without so much as a farewell to his comrades. He tried not to let the Wind Pillar’s words get to him; but he was unworthy of their company regardless, so he supposed it really didn’t matter what they thought of him. It shouldn’t. 

And so, that was how Giyuu found himself padding silently along the cracked, stone pathway which led to the Shrine at the edge of his designated territory, ready to eat crow and ask for assistance from a particular Miko whom he felt certain would not hesitate to remind him of how he’d coolly rejected her help only days earlier. 

Hence, his irritation. 

So, his movements stiff and his mouth twisted into a firm grimace, Giyuu stalked under the Torii and into the main courtyard of the old Shrine. It was coming upon midday, though there was a thick cover of clouds overhead that threatened that open up at any moment and shower rain across the region. He ignored the respectful bows of the Shrine’s various inhabitants and staff, eyes sweeping over faces in search of her. 

He located her near the storehouse, chatting with one of her fellow trainees as the pair worked to clean vegetables. Giyuu trudged over to her, eyes locked unwaveringly on her serene, easy smile, as he tried to ignore the way it made something in his gut clench and churn. 

He drew to a stop right before her and her Shrine-sister, the latter looking up at him with wide eyes, her hands stilling over her work as she looked up to the Slayer in awe. 

Giyuu cleared his throat but Y/N only continued wiping the dirt from carrots with her cloth. 

The ravenette tried again. “I am in need of your assistance.” 

Y/N’s comrade nudged her with her elbow, but the Miko only continued to clean, pointedly ignoring them both. 

Giyuu pursed his lips. “With my haori. The tear has grown larger —“

“I am busy.” Y/N’s tone was clipped. “Perhaps there are others who might assist you.”

“Please.” 

The Shrine Maiden’s hands finally stilled and she lifted her chin to face him. The moment she beheld the pleading sincerity in his eyes, coupled with the hard set of his jaw that betrayed just how desperate he was, her gaze softened.

She sighed. “Very well then,” she rose, brushing her hands free of any residual dirt. She held her chin high and squared her shoulders, determined not to show him how he’d bruised her ego; how he’d frightened her. “Follow me.”

—

The Shrine sat at the base of a great mountain. But, nearly half a kilometer up the winding, twisting path leading up the mountain and carved into its side, was a grassy hilltop that then plateaued into a small overlook that boasted a phenomenal aerial view of the Shrine below. 

The summer grass had turned a vibrant shade of emerald, broken up only by dots of tiny white and blue wildflowers that had gathered in small clusters sprinkled throughout the overlook. At the back of the clearing stood an ancient willow tree, its trunk gnarled and knotted with age, its wisps swaying lazily in the wind.   

It was her favorite spot; a little ways away from the hustle and bustle of the Shrine, which meant they would have some privacy as she worked. Y/N settled down against the grass and pulled a needle and a spool of thread from her pocket. She turned her face up toward the Water Pillar where he stood over her. “I’ll take that haori, now, if you’ll please.” 

Wordlessly, Tomioka carefully slid the garment from his shoulders and handed it to her, though he hesitated in letting go as she took it gingerly into her hands. 

It was clearly very important to the Slayer, and perhaps that was why she felt the need to reassure him. “I promise to take care of it.”

He nodded stiffly and let go of the fabric and the Miko quickly set to work repairing its torn shoulder. The Water Pillar lingered awkwardly beside her for a moment longer before he too, sat in the grass next to her, though his back remained straight, his posture rigid.

She glanced at him as her needle wove the haori’s fabric back together. “I suppose this happened because of your occupation?” 

It was faint, but the shrine maiden swore she saw his mouth twitch into something reminiscent of a grimace. “Yes.”

“You should be lucky it wasn’t your flesh.”

At that, Tomioka scoffed. “I would not allow such a weakling to get close enough to try.”

“My, I’d not pegged you as the boastful sort, Tomioka-sama.”

“It’s not boasting; I speak only the truth.” He retorted evenly. 

The shrine maiden only hummed as she worked. “And what of your family? Do they support your path as a Slayer?”

The Water Pillar turned his head away, his form stiff. For a moment, the Miko feared she would be left to repair his haori in silence, with nothing but the faint whistling of birds to keep her company. 

“I have none,” Tomioka’s voice was soft, nearly swallowed by the wind. “There is no one left to object, even if they wanted to.”

Y/N’s hands paused their work as she thought. “You are alone?”

It would be nice, she supposed, to find another who, like her, belonged to no one; a kindred spirit of sorts.

“I suppose,” Tomioka spoke up after a moment, his eyes squinted in thought. “I have a mentor. But it was he who trained me to join the Corps.” 

“I should hope he’s more sober than mine,” Y/N drawled. “And less irritating.” 

The Miko’s attention was so fixed on her careful stitching along the hole in his haori, that she didn’t see his faint smile at her words. 

——

The Slayer and the shrine maiden continued talking long after she’d finished repairing the tear in his haori. It was only when Tomioka had realized nightfall was a mere hour away that the two reluctantly descended the hillside to return to the Shrine.

“I almost forgot.” The Water Pillar said, halting in front of the honden as Y/N escorted him back to the Shrine’s entrance. He dug into his pockets and pulled something free. “Here. For you.” 

The Miko gaped down at the fat red fruit that sat heavily in his palm. “This is -“ she said breathlessly, “A pomegranate!” 

He nodded, arm still outstretched towards her as he waited to drop the ruby fruit into her hand. 

She shook her head. “No, Tomioka-san, I cannot accept something so expensive-“

“I insist.” The Water Pillar withdrew a small knife and split the fruit in half, staining his hands crimson with the juice that spilled over its soft flesh.

Hesitantly, the young Miko accepted the half he offered her, and thumbed some of the fat, glistening jewels loose. The moment she brought them to her lips, Y/N sighed, contentedly, and for some reason, Giyuu found his cheeks heating as he watched her savor the sweet fruit. 

She lazily opened her eyes after swallowing her first mouthful, but she was startled to see the Hashira staring at her, unwaveringly, and she realized he’d moved closer towards her than he had been only seconds earlier. 

Tomioka’s azure eyes were fixed hard on her lips, as he leaned in close to her, Y/N flushing as he drew nearer. 

Is he going to kiss me? Her traitorous heart thundered at the idea, and it caused her no short amount of grief to know she was uncertain whether she wanted him to do so. As her emotions warred with her logic, the Water Pillar’s gentle fingers cupped under her chin, and his thumb brushed delicately across her lower lip. 

“Pomegranate juice,” he said, but Y/N could still feel the warmth of his breath still as his hand lingered under her chin. His eyes were wide as though he, too, could not believe what he’d just done. 

“Yes,” she breathed, before she felt her cheeks heat. “I – I mean, thank you.”

The Water Pillar’s gaze dropped to her lips and her stomach twisted violently. All at once, awareness seemed to come crashing down upon him, and he then stepped back, his hand falling from its hold on her face and back to his side.

The shrine maiden remained frozen in place for a heartbeat longer. “Are you certain you’re unable to be our guest tonight?” Her voice was little more than a pitiful squeak.

Her eyes lifted to his and she knew the answer before he spoke it. “I cannot,” and to her surprise, he almost looked as disappointed as she felt, but he added hastily, “But I will be back. Soon.”

“Soon,” she echoed, feeling rather dazed. “Yes. Of course. I — we — look forward to it.”

She was thankful that Tomioka had already turned away from her as he made his way down the long, winding steps that led to the main route out of the forest; that way, he could not see the way her cheeks burned crimson, or how she buried her face in her hands as she cursed her own embarrassment.

—

Giyuu was grateful his back was to the young Miko as he retreated through the Shrine’s gates and back to the path which would lead him home. It meant she could not see as he stared at his thumb – the thumb he’d used to clear away the small bead of pomegranate juice from her lips – or how his eyebrows pinched together. It meant she could not hear his heart as it beat wildly in his chest at the memory of how soft and full her lip had been beneath the pad of his thumb, soft enough that some treacherous part of his brain had urged him to lean in, to see if her lips would feel as good against his – 

He shook his head, trying desperately to dispel his wild intrusive thoughts. It was ludicrous; he did not think of the young shrine maiden in that way. Not when she frequently sought to needle him, not when she frustrated him to no end. 

His collar suddenly felt tight; his skin, far too hot. His gaze dropped back down to the hand that had touched her, and it clenched. 

A pomegranate. It was only a pomegranate; nothing more. 

“It was a thank you gift,” Giyuu declared, as though speaking the words out loud gave them more force. “It is nothing more than an expression of gratitude.”

And even his crow, ancient and dull as he was, scoffed at the obviousness of the lie.

——

Late Summer, 1915

Summer blazed hot and humid. But neither the sweltering heat of the sun nor the most arduous missions he took exhausted Giyuu more than the complicated, tangled mess of feelings that had taken root within him. Because with every day that passed, the Miko of the Shrine at the edge of the forest occupied more and more of his mind. And Giyuu did not know what it meant or what he should do about it. 

She’d not just repaired his haori or made him salmon; she’d somehow wormed her way into his every waking thought, and to his great confusion, he found himself almost unwilling to think of anything but her. 

Admittedly, Giyuu Tomioka did not have the requisite tools in his social arsenal to successfully navigate human interaction. He hadn’t quite known the extent of his ineptitude however, until the Insect Pillar had so cheerfully pointed out that none of his comrades, in fact, liked him. That revelation had made him doubt every interaction he’d had since, made him wonder whether even the lower ranked Slayers viewed him with the same apathy, if not the same outright hostility toward him shared by Shinazugawa and Iguro.

He’d come to doubt them all — except her.

Y/N was different; at the end of each visit to the Shrine, the Water Pillar did not find himself feeling drained or unwanted.  He felt lighter; rejuvenated, even. She was a breath of fresh air that Giyuu found more difficult to go without with each passing day. 

She still picked at him, but she did so without the malice he’d normally come to expect, even from those he considered friends, like the Kocho. The young Miko had a way of teasing him that did not leave him feeling decidedly othered. Rather, her japes only spurred him to respond with his own, though admittedly, they tended to fall flat.

He’d known, from the moment she’d attempted to bludgeon him with her broom, that there was more to the Miko than met the eye; but he hadn’t imagined he’d find himself as drawn to her as he was, unable to tolerate going more than a handful of weeks without paying her a visit.

And, given the way she’d blushed after he’d thanked her for repairing his haori, perhaps she was drawn to him, too. Perhaps he hoped she was.

But he would have to wait to find out, for his obligations to the Corps had taken him to a village a considerable distance away from his designated territory. He’d been tasked with investigating a series of disappearances of young women in the region, but his orders had come abruptly enough that he’d not been able to spare a visit to the Shrine before he departed.

He was anxious — eager — to return, though not before he took care of the demon likely behind the mystery plaguing the village he now patrolled.

Nightfall was still a little ways off, and so Giyuu found himself wandering the streets to pass the time. He made his way to a sizeable outdoor market, still packed with shoppers oohing and ahhing over vibrant displays of silk, crafted jewelry, and sugary confectioneries.

Idly, he too, joined other patrons in browsing the small vending stands that lined the bustling village streets, though his perusal was disinterested, if not bored. But his eyes snagged on one small bauble displayed on the merchant’s small stand upon a swath of silk. It was small; unassuming. But the carefully crafted decoration was painted in a startling shade of crimson that he found hard to ignore. 

The image of a certain Miko flashed through his mind. He couldn’t leave without it. he wouldn’t; not when its paint so perfectly matched the color of Y/N’s hakama trousers.

I spend the year longing for autumn. That was what she’d told him, that day on the hillside after she’d repaired his haori. 

He almost smiled to himself. This would be a way for her to enjoy her favorite season even in the scorching heat of summer or the biting cold of winter. 

He waited for the merchant to notice his presence, his fingers twisting around the small money sack he kept tucked in his pocket. His eyes flickered back to the small trinket. Idly, Giyuu wondered when he’d begun associating the color red with the shrine maiden and not with the blood he’d always imagined stained his hands. 

He continued to stare the merchant down until he finally managed to catch the vendor’s eye, who flinched at the intensity of his unblinking stare.   

Giyuu jutted his chin toward the small token. “How much?” 

—-

He found the Miko a few mornings later, relaxing on the hillside overlooking the Shrine. She laid amongst the late summer wildflowers that had bloomed, her form framed against the grass with petals of soft blue and bright marigold. 

Giyuu wordlessly settled beside her, and he tried to ignore the thunderous beat of his heart against his sternum as she rolled her head toward him to greet him with a sleepy smile. They exchanged pleasantries and settled into a comfortable silence, both content to watch the sun rise higher over the horizon.

Easy; it was so easy for him to sit beside her, like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“So, you are to take over the Shrine, one day?”

Y/N’s head turned to the Water Pillar in surprise; though he’d grown steadily more talkative over the months since she’d met him, it wasn’t often that he initiated conversation. 

She settled back against the cool grass of the hilltop overlooking the Shrine, enjoying the precious few moments of quiet in the early morning before the chaos of the day called her away. “Yes,” though there was a slight uncertainty in her voice. “I’m sure it’s the expectation, after all. I have to repay Granny for her kindness.”

Giyuu frowned. “But is that what you want?”

“What I want is irrelevant,” the Miko folded her arms behind her head and tilted her face up toward the sky. Her eyes tracked the great, fluffy clouds that drifted lazily by, though the Water Pillar suspected she was attempting to avoid having to meet his eye. 

“It’s not irrelevant,” he countered. “If nothing else, you should be allowed to consider other possibilities.”

She did not answer him, and the silence between them stretched enough that he thought to drop the subject, not wanting to press her any further. 

“I think,” she said in that faraway voice that Giyuu had come to learn meant she was trying to conceal some deeply felt emotion. “I think should like to belong somewhere.” Her eyes shone. “No, that’s not it — I want someone to belong to me, and I to them. 

“A husband.” He said flatly. 

The Miko shook her head. “I have never belonged to anywhere or to anyone. I’ve no family to call my own - only an old woman who took pity on me as an infant and raised me. I wonder — what must it be like?” She laid back on the grass and closed her eyes. “That is the one thing I would change. I belong nowhere because I’m no one — nobody’s.” 

Giyuu frowned. “I don’t think that’s true—“

“It is true,” she insisted, though she said it with such ease and conviction, like it was the most obvious and natural thing in the world. “I am here for a moment and then I will be gone, and no one will ever know or remember that there once was a shrine maiden named Y/N here. I’ve made peace with that.”

I would, Giyuu wanted to tell her. I would remember and I would tell them all. 

“I am nobody as well,” Giyuu admitted quietly after a moment. “And I have no one left to belong to.” 

The image of her face, so kind and sad and full of understanding at his words, had stayed with him for the rest of the morning and even as he settled in for a few hours of sleep in the Shrine’s guest wing.  

And in his dreams, her face remained a constant.

—

The sky had turned a vivid shade of orange by the time the Water Pillar emerged from his guest lodgings, ready to depart and resume his duties.  Y/N had been helping another shrine maiden tote firewood across the courtyard when she heard a quiet call of her name.

She turned and saw the raven-haired Swordsman standing near the great Torii gate. 

She looked back to her fellow trainee, who waved her off with a knowing smile, and Y/N brushed her hands clean against her hakama pants before she approached him. 

“Leaving so soon?” And she tried to mask her disappointment at the shortness of his visit. 

Giyuu nodded. “We’ve been stretched thin, in light of a few…changes to our ranks.”

The Miko nodded grimly. He’d told her that a fellow Hashira had been slain a few months prior, and another had retired following a rather violent battle that had destroyed part of a far off city.

“But I wanted to give you this.”

She glanced down to his outstretched hand, where a small parcel was wrapped in plain furoshiki cloth. Stunned, she took the package from him, her eyes flicking between it and the Water Pillar watching her intently.

Gingerly, she unfolded the bundle and unveiled a long, but fragile metal and wood reed.

A hairpin, she realized with a soft gasp. Y/N could scarcely bring her fingers to run over the exquisitely crafted ridges of the leaves that adorned the top portion of the pin, afraid that even the slightest pressure from her touch would cause the Water Pillar’s precious gift to her to crumble. 

I spend the year longing for autumn, she’d told him. She hadn’t thought he’d been particularly interested in listening to her talk; but as Y/N cradled the delicate ornament between her palms, she felt a blush begin to creep across her cheeks. 

As her fingers traced across the delicate ridges of a cluster of maple leaves, lacquered in a thick coat of scarlet paint — a perfect match to the hue of her traditional Miko hakama pants — Y/N realized that perhaps Tomioka had been paying more attention to her than she’d realized. 

For the Water Pillar had given her a piece of autumn to hold onto year-round. 

“Tomioka-san, you do not-“ 

“Giyuu.” The ravenette interrupted her. “Please, call me by my name; it’s Giyuu.” 

Y/N’s mouth closed, but she smiled softly, considering. “Alright. Giyuu — please, you do not need to feel obligated to bring gifts for us — it was only salmon.” 

But Giyuu only shook his head. “I don’t bring gifts for everyone; just you.” 

Y/N turned scarlet. 

“Please, just-“ Giyuu frowned, and Y/N could have sworn she saw the faintest glow of pink coloring the Hashira’s cheeks. “Just take it.” 

“Okay,” her voice resembled a mouse’s squeak as she cradled the pin delicately between her hands. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.” 

“And it wasn’t just salmon.” 

Y/N looked to him in surprise, her head cocked in curiosity. “Pardon?” 

Giyuu exhaled harshly through his nose before stepping closer to her. “This is not only because you made salmon.” Her eyes tracked his hand as it rose to grip the front fold of his haori in his fist. “This – this is all I have left of my family.��� 

“My sister,” he gestured to the red half of his haori. “She died protecting me.” His hand drifted to the green and orange patterned half of the garment. “And this belonged to a dear friend. He also perished protecting me – and others.”

The Miko’s lips parted, understanding and sorrow flooding her eyes. “Tomioka-san — Giyuu — I had no idea —“

“They both died because of demons – because I could not help them. And now this is all I have left to remember them by.” And then he did the unthinkable; he grabbed her hand and pressed it against the checkered portion of his haori, right over his heart. His hand was warm and firm. Gentle, though she could feel his callouses against her knuckles as he held it in place. “So it wasn’t just salmon.” He repeated, and there was a heat in his eyes Y/N had not seen before, one that stoked a fire in her belly. “And you are not just anyone.” 

A soft exhale blew past her lips at the sincerity of his words. For the first time in all her nineteen years, she wondered if this was what it meant to mean something to someone.

“Thank you,” she breathed, eyes wide and sparkling with unshed emotion. “I will treasure it.”

She swore she saw a faint blush creep across the Water Pillar’s cheeks, but she brushed it aside as nothing more than the shadows of the sky as twilight darkened the horizon. 

Tomioka nodded. “I must get going now; I will see you soon.”

She did not want him to go.

But the shrine maiden concealed the pang she felt in her chest with a breezy smile. “Farewell, Tomio-“

“Giyuu.” 

She blushed. “Yes — Giyuu. Until next time.”

—

“I cannot believe he lets the old woman charge him an arm and a leg to stay a single night,” Miyoko said in awe as the pair watched the retreating form of the Water Pillar through the shrine house gates. 

The hairpin clutched tightly in her hands suddenly felt like a stone weight. “I’m sure he stays here only for convenience’s sake,” Y/N replied airily, turning sharply away from the egress to the shrine to hide her warming cheeks.  

Miyoko snorted. “Hardly. The Demon Slayer Corps has tons of safehouses throughout the country. Corps members get medical treatment, hot meals, and lodging free of charge.” Y/N’s sister-in-training grunted as she heaved a hefty bag of rice flour from the storeroom to the girls’ side, no doubt hauling it out to prepare the evening meal. 

“I’ve heard of at least four such houses in this region alone. As a Hashira, Tomioka-sama could go to any one of them and be treated far more kindly than he is here.” 

Y/N frowned. “I wonder why, then, he continues to return here so often? Surely our shrine is some distance from his home, given that he stays the night each time.” 

Miyoko shot the young shrine maiden a knowing glance. “Perhaps he tolerates the Granny’s abuse because he is fond of the company.” 

Y/N only felt her face grow hotter as she ducked down, though she felt Miyoko’s amused stare burn through her back. 

—-

The Water Pillar had returned from his intel assignment and promptly journeyed to the Shrine, its inhabitants abuzz as they prepared for the arrival of autumn and the colder months, now only mere weeks away. 

He found the shrine maiden of his interest inside the main wing of the manor, back in the kitchen as she prepared herbs to be incorporated into various salves and medications. Y/N smiled brightly at him as he’d sidled up beside her, taking a handful of dried greenery from the bunch next to her and deftly pulling the leaves from the stem and handing them to her. 

“Is it your day off?” The Miko gratefully accepted the leaves he’d stripped and dumped them into the rocky mortar to join the others. 

Giyuu felt his stomach clench as his fingers brushed against hers. “I have completed my duties for the time being, yes.”

"You're welcome to help me, as long as you do not mind a bit of busy work."

He didn't; of course he didn't. In fact, as he accepted the heavy stone pestle from the Miko and set to work mashing the leaves she handed them into the mortar, Giyuu rather supposed he would do just about anything to remain in the shrine maiden's company, even if that meant assisting her in a task as banal as grinding medicinal herbs. And though the Slayer and the Miko fell into their well-practiced habit of quietly tending to Y/N's duties side by side, there was a notable absence of the bright chatter he'd grown accustomed to hearing during his visits.

The Water Pillar frowned. “You’re quiet.” It was not a question. “There is something on your mind.” 

“Is there?” Y/N hummed loftily, her hands continuing to strip leaves from their stems. “Perhaps I am simply focused.” 

Giyuu found his eyes wandering to the side to study the Miko’s face more often than usual. Though she maintained a pleasant smile as they worked, he could see that it did not fully reach her eyes. And even her sage expression could not conceal the way the troubled look in her eyes, hands pausing their work as she stared at something behind the walls of the small shrine kitchen. 

“Something is bothering you.” Giyuu took the bundle of herbs clutched in her hands and replaced them with his pestle, allowing her to work her frustrations over the paste forming at the bottom of the stone bowl. 

She blushed and refocused her gaze, grinding the pestle hard. “Nothing is wrong!” She chirped. 

“You are a dreadful liar.”

The Miko replied with an airy laugh that made his throat tighten. “So I’ve been told — often, in fact.” 

“There is…trouble in the village,” Y/N said carefully, though she kept her hands busy as she continued to grind herbs into a thick paste. “It is nothing we can’t handle, but it has put many of us on edge. Particularly Granny.” 

Giyuu frowned as he handed the shrine maiden another bunch of leaves from her basket. “What sort of trouble?” 

She hesitated. “It is petty village drama, nothing more.”

“You won’t give any further details?” 

The Water Pillar could not explain it, but he found himself troubled by the way the Shrine Maiden forced a smile and a far too casual shrug of her shoulders. “There are none worth re-hashing.” 

He frowned, but he did not press her further, resolving instead to poke around later. Perhaps he would see whether the Shrine’s head Priestess’s tongue was as loose with information as it was with vulgarity once she’d properly indulged in her sake; he’d make certain she was well-stocked in advance. 

Giyuu furtively glanced back at the shrine maiden’s profile, in part to see whether he could deduce anything from her expressions, but he found himself instead studying her, puzzling over a change in her appearance he hadn’t noticed before.

Sensing his stare, the Miko turned to him with a light smile that then  faltered. “What –?”

“You changed your hair.” It took everything within him not to reach out, to see if her hair would feel as silky in his fingers as it looked shifting softly in the wind. “I’ve never seen it down.” 

“Oh!” Her smile turned bashful, a pretty pink dusting spreading across her cheeks. “I wanted to wear my hairpin – see?” 

She turned her head, the long curtain of her hair rippling smoothly with the movement. With her back to him, Giyuu could see the pin he’d given her neatly tucked into the long strands of her hair, pinning half of it back. The red of the pin’s maple leaves posed a lovely contrast with the hue of her hair. 

Y/N was already quite beautiful, but with her hair partially down, he thought she looked softer; younger. She peeked over her shoulder at him, fingers nervously combing through her tresses. “It’s not practical for every day, of course, but I thought since you’d likely be arriving soon –” 

His eyes widened and Giyuu became acutely aware that his heart now thumped wildly in his throat as Y/N choked off with a squeak, apparently realizing what she’d revealed. Though she hurriedly turned back around, Giyuu could see how the tips of her ears burned bright red. 

Despite her efforts, her admission hung like a cloud in the air between them. She’d worn it – the hairpin – for him. 

Giyuu swallowed thickly. “I like it.” He cleared his throat and turned, allowing his own unruly hair to obscure his face. “On you, that is.” 

For once, the Miko had neither a quick remark nor barb to lob back at him. Instead, she only turned back to her task of grinding her herbs, a thick curtain of her hair concealing her face from his sight.

Once she'd finished bottling up her new medicinal salves, Giyuu helped her carry the tins to the Shrine's storage house, directly across the courtyard from its main wing. The shrine maiden remained curiously quiet, even in spite of his own lame attempts to converse with her. He'd finally given up after his dry comment about the weather went ignored. But every so often, he let his eyes wander to her as they returned to the honden, and that nagging feeling returned as he watched her gnaw incessantly at her bottom lip, a faraway look in her eyes. 

Giyuu was not a nosy man, but the Miko's clear distraction unsettled him. He was about to pull her aside, to demand she tell him exactly what it was that had chased away the smile he so longed to see when they were approached by Y/N's haughty Master.

“Lord Tomioka,” the head Priestess nodded curtly at him in greeting. “I am glad to have run into you — I am in need of your assistance.”

The old Priestess turned to her young protégée. “Go assist the younger ones; they need to give their offerings before dinner.” 

Y/N’s mouth opened to protest but the head Priestess cut her off. “Now.”

To his surprise, the shrine maiden did not argue with her Master, only turning to him to give him a helpless shrug before she began to make her way toward the Shrine’s honden. 

The Water Pillar grimaced. He tried to convince himself the pit in his stomach was only because her odd behavior gnawed at him; that he was only curious to learn what it was that troubled her.  But as the Miko cast one last, reluctant look over her shoulder at him, Giyuu found that he was as unwilling to watch her go as she was to leave. 

If the Shrine’s head priestess noticed his inner anguish, she paid it no mind. “You will accompany me in the kitchen.”

—-

The first thing he noticed was the conspicuous absence of the scent of sake, which he’d grown accustomed to following the Priestess around like a pungent cloud of perfume. He resisted the urge to scowl; he would have to find another way to get the old woman to talk.

Giyuu followed the woman into the small structure that stood adjacent to the honden that served as the Shrine’s kitchen. He watched silently as she pulled a cleaver, large and deadly sharp, free from where it was stored in a cabinet and laid it atop a butcher’s block. The elder stepped outside of the kitchen and returned a moment later, a recently de-feathered and skinned chicken in hand.

“Things around here seem…tense,” Giyuu observed carefully  as the old woman slapped the chicken on the counter for preparation. 

“Tense is one word for it, I reckon,” she bit, taking up her cleaver. “The world we live in is dark. I should think you would know that better than most.”

The corner of his mouth dipped down. “But even your girls seem unusually subdued; distracted.” 

Her eyes flashed to his, piercing and sharp. “You mean Y/N.”

It wasn’t a question. 

“She is always restless this time of year,” the old woman sighed. “Though she loves autumn, she despises winter — or, rather, she despises how it reminds her of what she does not have. And winter is well on its way.” 

He nodded, recalling what the shrine maiden had revealed to him that day, on the hillside.

“But your observation is correct — that is not all of the reason she is so distracted,” the old Priestess said darkly, and Giyuu was surprised to see how alert and focused the normally soused elder seemed. “A man from the village — Susumo — has been following her. Demanding her.” 

Giyyu straightened. “What do you mean by ‘demand?’” 

The haggard woman cursed below her breath as she broke down the chicken’s body. “I mean in the way that men often feel entitled to women — especially angry drunks like him.” 

Every hair on Giyuu’s body stood straight as the weight of the Priestess’ warning settled. 

“I have forbidden her from venturing out in the dark alone,” the Granny continued, harshly wrenching a joint on the fowl. 

“She is a Priestess in training; surely that status affords her some protection?” Giyuu’s knuckles turned white where his fists clenched at his sides. 

“I’m not sure the shrine is enough to keep him out for much longer. He’s been lingering — and threatening consequences, if I do not agree to hand her over to him for marriage.” The old Priestess grimaced. “Her status does her no good if he burns this place to the ground.” 

The old woman set her cleaver next to her with a heavy thud, her frustration palpable. “The girl is of age, and I am not her blood family; there is no one here who can claim authority over her, not like a parent or an elder sibling.” When her eyes lifted to his, Giyuu could see a hint of fear underlying the hard anger in her gaze. “These days, I half-expect to awaken and find that she’s been stolen in the night.” 

The Water Pillar felt his jaw clench. It was rare that he felt the burning flush of anger and it was not directed at a demon, but the idea that Y/N was being harassed and threatened by some village drunkard who felt entitled to her, lit something hot in his stomach. For as vexatious and confounding as he found the young Miko to be, no one deserved to be stalked like prey. 

Especially her. 

“I’ve had a crow stationed here to alert me of any demon attacks for months,” Giyuu began, and the old woman looked to him in surprise. “But I will assign more to keep watch during the day. If there is anything strange afoot, they will tell you.” He paused a moment before adding, “And they will alert me, too.”

The head Priestess laid down her cleaver to look at him, long and hard. “Then she may have a fighting chance yet, Lord Hashira.”

————-

By the time he found Y/N once more, dinner was over and the moon had risen high in the night sky, casting the shrine grounds in its pale, silvery glow.

He’d told her, rather tersely, that he was unable to stay the night, and he tried to ignore how his chest tightened at the crestfallen look that flashed across her face. Despite her tangible disappointment, she insisted on escorting him out of the Shrine, desperate to cling to every second that might be spared to them.

“You are rather quiet tonight,” the Miko observed, walking him to the grand Torii. “More so than usual.” It was an understatement; the Water Pillar had been downright sullen and withdrawn from the moment he’d returned from whatever takes Granny had insisted she help him with. 

Rather than give her any explanation, Giyuu halted his step and reached for her wrist, stilling her. “You did not tell me you were being harassed.” 

She looked up to the Water Pillar in surprise. “How did you —?” 

He released her from his grip in favor of drawing closer to her. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Y/N opened and closed her mouth, struggling to find her words. “I suppose,” she began, but her mouth quirked down in a frown. “I did not think you needed to be burdened by something so insignificant.” 

Giyuu stared at her as he mouthed the word insignificant, the look he shot her giving the distinct impression he thought her an idiot. “I do not think your safety is insignificant,” Giyuu’s hand drifted to the hilt of his sword, clenching it tight. “Nor do I think you are insignificant.” 

“Compared to your other obligations? I should think I’m very unimportant.” Y/N turned away from him, fiddling with a gathering basket she carried on her hip to avoid having to look him in the eyes.

But the raven-haired Pillar caught her wrist and turned her back to face him, not willing to be ignored. “If you call for me, I will come to you.” 

Y/N’s heart lurched at the Water Pillar’s words, spoken with such conviction and sincerity that it made her falter in her step. “Tomioka-san,” she said breathlessly, her eyes wide as she turned to him. “You have far more important duties to see to than to concern yourself with than mere village drama —“

But the raven-haired Hashira only shook his head as he took another step towards her, his expression severe; calculating. “You have the knife I gave you, yes?” His eyes dropped to her pocket, and Y/N felt compelled to show him that the small blade was indeed tucked safely within the folds of her hakama pants. 

“Giyuu,” she pled, and she noted the way that he twitched towards her at the sound of his name falling from her lips. “Please, don’t worry —“

“I do not make promises I cannot keep,” the Water Pillar cut her off, closing the distance between them until the tips of his zori nearly grazed hers, his head bent down towards her as the heat of his stare threatened to consume her. “So I repeat: if you call for me, I will come to you.” 

Any thought of arguing faded from her mind as Y/N became keenly aware of the lack of space between their bodies, of the way her hands, clasped in front of her chest brushed against the folds of his haori as it shifted softly with the wind. 

“I understand,” she breathed. Y/N held his gaze for a long moment, though it was in part due to the battle waging within her not to allow her eyes to drop to his lips.

She would not let herself acknowledge how close they were; how soft they looked, or how warm they might feel against hers; her skin. 

Giyuu lingered as well; after a pregnant pause, he finally stepped back, blinking as though coming out of a trance. “Good,” he nodded, and he glanced furtively over her shoulder. His eyes narrowed and he nodded as though satisfied before he turned crisply on his heel to begin his trek towards his duties and away from her. “Do not forget.” He called one last time over his shoulder, before the shadows of the woods swallowed him whole. 

As Y/N dazedly made her way back towards the shrine, a crow following closely behind her, she almost laughed at the suggestion she could. 

——-

Autumn, 1915

The weeks passed by without much fuss, and soon, the palpable tension that had settled over the Shrine as a result of Susumo’s lingering threats subsided. Soon, life at the Shrine returned to normal, and Y/N often found her mind wandering to thoughts of raven hair and endless blue eyes. 

Until that night.

It had been a normal evening at the Shrine; autumn, blissful autumn had arrived, heralding forth crisp winds and golden skies. Though the days were steadily growing shorter, Y/N found herself rejuvenated by the new chill, especially as she watched the leaves of the trees shift from green to gold to ruby. 

The leaves on her hairpin indeed had been a perfect match to those which were steadily drifting from the tall maples dotting the Shrine. Though she couldn’t wear her hair down the way she had the last time the Water Pillar paid the Shrine a visit, Y/N had found new ways to incorporate his gift into her daily life, weaving it through her plait or tucking it behind her ear. 

That night had been one like any other; after dinner, the girls of the Shrine had scattered to tend to their evening duties.  The shrine maiden had been walking alongside her Master, planning for the upcoming festival in the nearby village, during which the Shrine would seek new patrons to keep it operational. The women mulled over which families might be more inclined to assist them, and settled on a prominent merchant known to frequent other shrines on his travels through the country.

That was when they’d spotted the smoke.

“Fire!” A shrill voice cried, and both the old Priestess and Y/N blanched. “The honden is on fire!”

All at once, chaos broke out across the Shrine grounds as girls darted to and fro, frantic. Granny began barking at her charges, ordering the younger ones to gather in the courtyard while instructing the older girls to assist in putting out the flames.

"The granary!" Someone else cried. "The granary has gone up in flames!"

The elder Priestess snatched Y/N's wrist in her weathered hand. “The scrolls!” Granny's expression of horror was a sure match to her own. “They’re in the storeroom near the granary!” 

The scrolls in question had been in the Shrine’s custody for over five hundred years, carrying sacred inscriptions of the gods and prayers essential to its operation and legitimacy.

They were priceless; irreplaceable. 

“I’ll go!” And before her Master could protest, the Miko had already turned away and began sprinting toward the fire that was rapidly engulfing the granary near the back of the property.  

Thankfully, the storeroom had yet to catch fire, but if the one steadily consuming the granary was not dealt with soon, it wouldn’t be long before it spread to consume the small wooden hut. 

And Y/N knew it wouldn’t take much to reduce the storeroom to ash. 

Coughing, she pressed her arm to her nose and mouth, using the large bell sleeve of her kosode to block some of the smoke that burned her eyes and nose. She pulled her other sleeve over her hand to protect it as she pushed the storehouse’s door aside. 

Inside was dark; quiet. Though the nighttime made it difficult for her to see the scrolls and prints carefully rolled and tucked away into tiny cubbies lining the hut’s walls, Y/N wasn’t stupid enough to waste time searching for a candle to light. So, with only the flames eating away at the granary at her back to light her way, she began pulling handfuls of scrolls free from their storage, tucking them under her arm. 

She turned to take her first armload of priceless Shrine artifacts from the storeroom and nearly tripped over a collection of heated coal pans that had been stacked in the corner to keep the scrolls sealed within the room at a stable temperature. She managed to hold onto her scrolls, however, and she quickly moved them away from the hut, placing them safely on a nearby rock that was still far enough away from the storeroom should it catch fire. She returned to the hut to survey what else she needed to salvage, but a familiar, tiny yelp and the flurry of movement in her periphery made the Miko’s stomach twist.

“Komatsu!” Y/N turned and saw the anxious younger girl lingering at the storage hut’s door, her tiny hands trembling. “Get away from here! It’s not safe!” 

“B-but Sister,” the girl cried, hopping anxiously from foot to foot. “This is too much to do on your own —“

“You need to go find Granny,” the shrine maiden ordered. “I will join you in a moment.”

The girl’s lower lip wobbled. “But —,”

“Now!”

With a great sniff, the girl turned away, leaving Y/N alone once more. The Miko sighed and resumed her hasty perusal of the hut’s shelves, searching for anything else that could not be replaced. 

There was a rustling near the doorway and Y/N bit her lip in an effort not to swear in front of her younger peer. “Komatsu, what did I say —“ 

She turned to admonish the girl, but her reprimand dried instantly on her tongue. For there, in the entryway to the storeroom, was Komatsu, her eyes wide and her face bone-white with a terror that matched Y/N’s own.

Because the girl was not alone.

Wrapped around her bicep was a hand, as large as a small boulder, and tipped with long, wicked claws that threatened to pierce Komatsu’s bicep. The hand was attached to a forearm, inhumanly thick and muscled. Slowly, Y/N’s eyes dragged up the length of the monstrous arm to behold the sinister face that grinned at her. 

It was Susumo — only it wasn’t Susumo. Y/N recognized the vague features of the face that had once belonged to the village drunk and her personal tormentor. His hair was the same as was the general shape of his face, and the cruelty of his smirk, but that was where the resemblance to the Susumo she’d once known ended.

Now, he boasted a row of sharp fangs that distended nearly to his lower lip. And his eyes — no longer were they a cold, soulless black; now they were crimson red, and his pupils were cut into catlike slits.

Demon. A voice whispered in her mind. Demon.

“Enjoy my fires, Priestess?” Even Susumo’s voice had changed, forming a growl that matched his monstrous appearance. “I set them for you — I knew you would not be able to resist seeing such a spectacle.”

“Komatsu,” Y/N ignored him in favor of addressing the young girl, though her voice was unusually high though she fought to keep it as steady as possible. “Please go find Granny and help her with the honden.” 

The young trainee trembled but Susumo’s clawed hand only tightened around her arm. “I’m afraid I can’t allow that, sweet Priestess,” the demon crooned. “You have something I want, you see.”

The slick, oily look in his eyes made his desire clear.

Y/N’s eyes darted quickly around the hut, finally falling on a series of coal pans stacked to the side of the room, only a few feet from where she stood, paralyzed. Her quick, cursory glance at the pans revealed iron that was slightly red, and she swore she could see the air around them distorted by the heat.

Hot; they were still hot.

The Miko looked back to where the demon continued to leer at her, ravenous. “Fine,” she said coolly. “I will go with you, Susumo.”

Komatsu looked between her and the demon in horror, but Y/N only kept her eyes locked with the demon’s. She edged closer to where the coal pans were still burning hot, eyes not daring to drop his as she drew closer to the demon and the younger trainee. He grinned, revealing cruelly sharp and bloodstained teeth, and his yellow eyes shone with a triumphant smugness, believing the Miko was surrendering to him at last. 

As she brushed past the pans, Y/N furtively reached out a hand and closed her fingers around one of the handles. “Komatsu,” the Miko kept her eyes carefully trained on the demon. “Run.”

Her hand seized around the coal pan and with every ounce of her strength, she swung it toward the demon. The hot iron of the pan slammed into the side of his head, forcing him to drop his hold on the younger girl. There was a struggle between the older shrine maiden and the demon, who fought to wrench the pan free from her fierce grip, but Y/N would not relent. 

“Run!” She shrieked at the girl again, and Komatsu darted away. Y/N’s fingers stretched to close around the tiny lever on the handle of the coal pan, and with a snarl of fury, she managed to latch around it, squeezing it with all her might. The lid of the pan opened and red-hot coals spilled forth over the demon’s head. Susumo howled in fury, and Y/N dropped the pan, letting it crack against his head as she shot past him, desperate to escape the tiny storeroom.

The faster she got into open air, the better chance she had of living. 

But a claw, sharp and deadly sunk into her bicep, and yanked her back. She could not help the small scream that tore from her throat as she felt his talons rip at her skin and the sleeve of her kosode was shredded into ribbons beneath his nails.

“Sister Y/N!” Komatsu’s tiny, terrified voice cried out from several feet ahead. 

The shrine maiden swallowed her building panic. “Go!”

The little girl hesitated again and Y/N knew she could not follow after her, not without risking her safety once again. With a defiant scream of rage, the shrine maiden tore her arm free of the demon’s razor-like claws, fighting back the bile that rose in her throat as she felt blood run down her arm, hot and thick. 

The demon grasped wildly at her but found only air. Thinking only of the safety of Komatsu and her fellow trainees, Y/N turned on her heel and ran for the trees, away from the chaos unfolding at the Shrine. 

And the demon, still snarling and panting and undoubtedly enraged, followed her into the forest.

Shit, shit, shit!

Y/N hurtled over a snarled root as she ran, her life dependent upon every stride as she fled the newly-demented Susumo.

In the back of her mind, the Miko knew her efforts were in vain; because for every inch she managed to gain, the angry demon at her heels seemed to gain a foot.

“You’ve denied me for far too long!” The monster’s voice growled behind her, far too close for comfort. “I will have you!”

Y/N palmed the small nichirin knife tucked safely within the deep pockets of her hakama pants, and wildly she wondered whether it was possible to decapitate a demon with such a small blade. Perhaps the Water Pillar should have left her a sword. After all, a sword could not really be that different from a broom, and she’d walloped her fair share of handsy drunkards and would-be thieves with the cleaning tool.

If she lived through the night, she would tell him as much the next time she saw him.

Y/N’s musings did nothing to help her avoid the root of an old tree that jutted out from the earth, snarling around her ankle and sending her flailing to the forest floor. Angry tears of frustration clouded her eyes. Although she knew these paths like the back of her hand, that knowledge did her little good in the dark, as she fled for her life.

Scrambling up to her feet, Y/N caught sight of a pair of eyes watching her from the brambles, dark and inky.

A crow. The image of a certain Hashira flashed before her eyes, as Y/N recalled the way that the members of the Demon Slayer Corps used crows to communicate.

Perhaps this crow was so affiliated, and she was desperate enough to try. “Please!” Y/N begged, sobbing as the crow stared down at her with those black eyes. “Giyuu!”

———

The night had been unusually peaceful for the Water Pillar.

His ambling patrol around his territory’s perimeter hadn’t revealed so much as a whisper of demonic activity. But the absence of any conspicuous threat did not mean his guard was down; his eyes remained sharp, his ear finely tuned, listening for any shift in the wind, any sign that something was amiss and required investigation —

A sudden rustle of leaves sounded from his right, and Giyuu’s hand moved reflexively for his blade, bracing against its hilt in preparation. A small shadow burst from the canopy above him, its wings flapping wildly. He recognized it instantly as the crow he’d assigned to watch over the Shrine — to watch over her.

“Demon attack at the Mountain Shrine!” The crow squawked, circling above him frantically. “Demon attack! Go now — quickly!” 

He hadn’t hesitated to turn sharply on his heel, furiously making his way toward the Shrine. He broke through the line of trees at its edge in record time, and even he’d been taken aback by the chaos that had broken out.

“The honden is on fire!” the old woman cried out to the Pillar as he swiftly landed among the chaos unfolding across the shrine grounds. “The girls were still doing their evening duties – but then another fire was started near the granary!” 

“My crows said a demon had made an appearance,” Giyuu’s eyes carefully scanned the terrified, frantic faces of the Shrine’s residents, his hands braced against the hilt of his sword. “Has anyone been hurt?” 

The head Priestess stared at the Water Pillar in muted horror. “I have not seen – but I haven’t taken any headcount of the girls to know –” 

A piercing cry from near the south gate of the Shrine cut the old woman off, and both Priestess and Slayer whipped toward the sound. A girl, no more than nine, was half-running, half-stumbling toward them, frightened tears streaking down her face. 

“Komatsu!” the old Priestess blanched as she caught sight of the small apprentice’s busted, bloodied lip. With a sob, the young girl flung herself into her elder’s arms and clung tightly to her. “What on earth –?” 

“Sister Y/N!” the girl called Komatsu wailed, and Giyuu felt himself go cold. “Granny – th-that man – he’s a monster!”

The head Priestess paled in recognition. “Susumo?” Giyuu’s gut clenched at the name. The old woman knelt before the girl, her hands clutching wildly at her slim shoulders as she shook her lightly to recenter her. “Komatsu, was Susumo the monster?” 

The young girl nodded. “He was so – hiccup – fast! I didn’t even see him!” She only cried harder. “And t-then Sister Y/N – she grabbed the coal pan and dumped it on him until he let go.” Komatsu trembled as she lifted a shaking hand to wipe at her cheeks. “A-and then she t-told me to r-run –” 

THe old Priestess caught the girl’s quivering chin in her hand and forced her to meet her eyes. “Where is Y/N, Komatsu?” 

Komatus’s eyes were wide with fear. “She ran,” she whispered. “Into the woods – b-but Granny – she was bleeding –” 

The Shrine’s Priestess turned to the Slayer, ready to beg him to follow after the demon and her apprentice, but the Water Pillar was gone. For a brief moment, she feared all hope was lost; that they’d been abandoned and non one would be able to save the young Miko – her heir – from whatever horrid fate awaited her at the ends of Susumo’s crazed, brutal claws.

She caught a flurry of movement right against the dark line of trees that snagged her attention; a flap of the edge of a mismatched haori, and the glint of a blade being drawn, its wielder already furiously making his way into the shadowy depths of the forest. 

The Priestess exhaled and clutched her trembling young trainee to her chest. As she soothed the shaken young girl, the old woman prayed the Water Pillar would not be too late.

–

She was fucked; well and truly fucked.

Y/N had no idea how long she’d spent sprinting furiously through the forest, but she knew she was quickly running out of stamina. Worse, it seemed the demon on her heels knew she was slowing, and was now playing with her. But even his patience seemed to be at its wit’s end; for a sudden sharp blow to her back sent the Miko flying several feet forward until she slammed against the uneven, rough terrain of the forest floor.

Y/N gasped for air that would not come as she tried to push herself up. Crawl! Her mind begged her body. Crawl, damn you!

A dark chuckle from behind sent every hair on her body standing straight on end. A hand locked around her ankle and flipped her over until she was nearly nose to nose with the demon crouched over her. “Got you,” he sang, and the moonlight glinted off the sharp edge of his fangs as he grinned. 

Her fingers found the handle of the knife the Water Pillar had gifted her in her pocket. With a determined grunt, she pulled it free and plunged it deep into the meat of his shoulder, praying furiously to any god who would listen that she might have hit an artery so that he would bleed out. 

The demon loosed an enraged scream and fell away from her, hands blindly fumbling for the blade.  

No longer pinned beneath him, Y/N  scrambled back. Her hands scraped against the broken brush and pebbles below her in her desperate attempt to put distance between herself and the demon rising to his feet ahead of her, snarling. As he began advancing toward her, Susumo gripped the knife she’d buried in his shoulder and with a grunt, he wrenched it free and tossed it carelessly to the side, right along with the last shred of any hope she’d had of making it out of the woods alive.

The demon’s mouth curled into a cruel, savage grin, the moonlight glinting off his long, wicked fangs. “I’m going to enjoy this,” he growled, saliva dripping down his chin as his nostrils widened to scent her blood and her fear. 

This was it; there was nowhere for her to run, no weapon she could try and protect herself with. There was nothing she could do; she was going to die, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Just as Susumo drew upon her, close enough that she could smell the rancid, pungent odor of rotted meat on his breath, he stumbled back, startled. 

One moment the demon was standing mere inches from her, ready to devour her whole; the next, he was sent sailing back, his body smashing into the trunk of a nearby tree with a sickening thump! 

A blur of dark matter soared over the Miko’s head toward the monster. Susumo barely had time to stand before the shadow converged on him once more. There was a flash of light — the moon reflecting off metal — followed by a dull thud. The shrine maiden’s heart lodged in her throat as she watched the head of the former village drunkard roll across the forest floor before distingrating, his body following soon after. 

She was nearly hyperventilating as the shadow turned to face her, but the pall of the moon finally illuminated the face of her savior — her Water Pillar.

“G-Giyuu,” she stuttered, her eyes stinging with unshed tears of relief that washed over her all at once.

But Giyuu did not respond, his lapis eyes narrowing in on the dark stain spreading across the white of her kosode. Y/N cowered at the cold, unbridled rage that contorted the ordinarily stoic Hashira’s face as he began to shake at the sight of her blood. In a flash, Giyuu had closed the distance between them and knelt down by her side, gripping her wounded arm in his hand as he tried to pull her tattered sleeve down and  inspect her wound.

“Tomioka — Giyuu,” she pled, trying to wrench her arm from his iron-like grip. “Please, it’s not that bad —“

“Did it get you anywhere else?” Giyuu demanded harshly, and the authority underlying his tone made Y/N fall silent for the first time since she’d known him. “Did it -“ the Water Pillar hesitated. “Did it touch you anywhere else?”

Y/N was trembling, and the Hashira’s hand around her arm tightened. “Ah!” She winced. “No, I promise, Giyuu, it’s just a flesh wound, I’m fine-,”

“You are bleeding. You are not fine.” Giyuu snapped back. “You could’ve been killed, or turned, or -,” the Water Pillar began to hyperventilate, and it shook the young Miko to her core. The Water Hashira was normally so unflappable, so stoic, that his panicked anger frightened her.

“-So do not tell me you’re fine,” Giyuu’s rant continued. “Not when you could’ve — not when I might’ve failed — not again --”

She was at a loss for what to do as she watched the raven-haired man struggle to form words. Vaguely, she recalled the way the Granny-Priestess had once explained to her that when someone panicked, they needed to regulate their breathing, and there were many ways someone could help force another to breathe properly…

Stomach fluttering, Y/N’s free hand came up to grip the fold of the Water Pillar’s haori. Giyuu’s incessant rambling only ended when her lips urgently pressed against his own, his eyes going wide. A heartbeat or two passed and then the Miko pulled away, her eyes serious as she stared at the stunned Water Hashira.

“You need to give me a sword.” She told him, earnestly, her face blazing.

———

Giyuu helped her back to the Shrine, though the Miko found herself needing to bat off the Water Pillar with a stern reminder that she’d only sustained a small arm wound as he’d tried to scoop her up into his arms.

The Swordsman had been rather subdued the entire journey out of the forest, his eyes curiously wide and dazed right until the pair breached the tree line at the edge of the Shrine’s property. The moment they stepped into open ground, they were swarmed by the tearful, relieved faces of the Shrine’s inhabitants. Words of gratitude to him were woven through worries over the Miko’s arm wound as they made their way across toward the small infirmary which, thankfully, had not been touched by Susumo’s fire.

The honden itself was still standing; though the flames had finally been subdued, smoke still curled up toward the sky, blocking any view of the moon or the stars. 

The head Priestess waited for them outside the infirmary. Though her face was grave, Giyuu could spy the relief shining in her eyes. He stood numbly by as the Miko and her master regarded each other warily for a moment, before the elder Priestess reached forward and yanked her charge forward into a fierce embrace.

“Reckless girl,” she chastised gently against the side of Y/N’s head. “Thank every one of the gods that you’re safe.” The old Priestess’s eyes found those of the Water Pillar. “And thank you, Lord Tomioka.”

Y/N was promptly escorted inside to have her wound examined and stitched. Despite the old shrine keeper’s gratitude for his aid in saving the young shrine maiden, that thankfulness apparently did not extend to permitting him inside the infirmary with them, and for good reason. For under the Elder’s withering glare, the Water Pillar realized that Y/N’s treatment would require her to be stripped of her kosode, leaving her exposed and bare. 

As unwilling as he’d been to part from her, the thought of witnessing the Miko undressed and vulnerable had been enough to temper his urge to look after her, if nothing else because the mental image of her in such a state flustered him to no end.

Though, he supposed his bewilderment also had something to do with what had transpired between them in the forest.

Kissed him; the shrine maiden had kissed him. 

His fingers drifted to his lips. They still felt warm where they’d been graced by hers, and he swore he could still feel the softness of her mouth from where it had brushed against his. 

He needed to talk to her; he needed to know what the hell she’d been thinking, kissing him like that. 

But as shocking as the Miko’s kiss had been, there was something else, something far heavier, that weighed on his mind. 

She’d nearly been killed. By a demon. On his watch. 

He should’ve apologized; he should’ve begged for her forgiveness for letting her come that close with death. For letting her get wounded because he hadn’t been fast enough.

I was concerned for you, he wanted to tell her. I thought I would be too late.

No; concern didn’t cover it; did not do near enough justice to his true emotions upon learning the Miko had fled into the dark forest with a hungry, loathsome demon hot on her trail.

He’d been scared; terrified; almost beside himself at the possibility that he’d be too late and find that she’d already been reduced to the beast’s meal, 

He’d been scared he’d never again see her smile or hear her laugh, and that had terrified him more than anything. For it was the memory of both that soothed his anxious nerves each time he startled awake from visions of his dead loved ones, demanding to know why they had died in his stead.   

He’d feared that he would have to add her face to those he saw when he slept — the faces of those he’d failed to protect, who’d died for his sake. He’d been terrified of seeing her image in painstaking clarity, just as he saw the faces of his sister and Sabito every morning. 

He did not know what to do with them, these confusing feelings, so abundant and intense that they’d welled up within him and threatened to spill over. He couldn’t name them, let alone begin to untangle the knot they’d formed within his heart. All he knew was that every one of them were inextricably tied to her. 

His shrine maiden. 

His.

—

Y/N’s arm ached, but it had been properly sewn and bandaged, and there was work to do before she could settle in for the night; and so, she found herself helping her peers with cleaning up the courtyard from the debris of the night’s events. 

Truthfully, she'd been grateful for the distraction. Occupying herself with cleanup meant she did not have to think about what she’d done in the forest. But then Granny Priestess saw her trying to heave away broken wood with her freshly stitched arm and Y/N found herself forced to abandon her fellow trainees as the old bat smacked her upside the head and squawked about how she was going to break her stitching and complicate the healing process.  

The Miko tried not to pout as she retreated, opting instead to grumble over the old woman’s dramatics as her arm stung and her ego throbbed. When she finally returned to her sleeping quarters, exhaustion slammed into her, making her limbs heavy and leaden. Unable to quite rally the energy to crawl into her futon, she slumped against the doorway of the room, her head and her heart a tangled mess of emotions she couldn’t quite name.

What she’d felt the moment the Water Pillar had stepped into the moonlight had been more than mere relief that he’d managed to save her life for the second time. She’d felt safe, so unbelievably safe that the forest itself could have been on fire and she wouldn’t have been afraid; not as long as he was there with her.

Something between them had shifted; that much was clear. In truth, things likely had begun to change the moment she repaired his haori, and she’d admitted to him her deep-seated loneliness and lack of belonging.

She only hoped he felt the change, too.

—

Much to Y/N’s chagrin, autumn was quickly giving way to blasted winter.

Though, the Miko hadn’t been able to fully resent the rapid shift in the seasons; repairs at the Shrine had consumed nearly all of her attention, and as Granny’s heir, she was expected to contribute to its reconstruction more than any other trainee.

That expectation meant Granny left the task of figuring out how to finance the necessary repairs entirely to her young protege. Y/N had spent all of two days agonizing over ways to raise the necessary funds when she awoke to find a mysterious sack of money that had been left on the doorstep of the honden. Inside had been an amount more than generous to cover the cost of repairs from the fire, with a hefty remainder that could be put toward other necessary improvements to spruce the Shrine up, and perhaps restore it to its former glory. 

No note had been left with the money to indicate the identity of the Shrine’s benefactor.  But amid all the excitement of her peers at the thought of being able to afford materials and laborers to assist with the more difficult aspects of the Shrine’s refurbishment, Y/N had spotted a familiar crow perched high in a nearby tree.

That position had afforded the bird with a perfect view of the money sack, allowing it to silently ensure it fell into the proper hands. But repairs had finally slowed, and Y/N now found her days returning to normal. Almost. 

What was not normal was how agitated she'd become in waiting for his return.

Another week passed without any communication from the Water Pillar, and the Miko had grown desperate for any sort of distraction. She found herself one late, autumn morning passing the time in the Shrine’s garden hut. She was pretending to be searching for tools that would help her prune the wilting Shrine garden when something grazed against the small of her back. Startled, she turned and was greeted by familiar, unruly raven hair and a pair of deep azure eyes. 

“Giyuu,” his name slid easily off her tongue, and suddenly she could not remember why she’d called him anything else. 

A ghost of a smile graced his lips. “Hello, Y/N.”

A poignant silence followed, and her cheeks grew hot. "Don't mind me," she said quickly, turning her head away from him as she pretended to organize stray gardening supplies. "I am only just now finishing my tasks for the day."

Though he remained silent, she became acutely aware of the way Giyuu’s eyes followed her as she tried desperately to keep herself busy, to avoid having to meet that piercing, discerning stare. 

“I did not get a chance to properly thank you after the turmoil of that night,” she said casually. Nervously, she hoped that his heightened senses did not alert him to the way her heart fluttered in her chest, or how her stomach flipped in her gut. Her nails dug into her palms as she lifted her head to meet that unnerving, fathomless stare.

But the Water Pillar had already closed most of the distance between them, having moved so silently she’d not heard him, despite even the creaky, uneven slatted floor of the garden hut. “How is your wound?” He asked softly, his hand skirting up the outside of the arm Susumo had wounded. “Has it healed?” 

It took a great amount of effort for Y/N to remember how to keep her breathing steady. But she forced her lips into an easy smile as she rucked up the flared sleeve of her kosode to reveal her bicep. “It will likely scar,” she admitted, her fingers lightly tracing over the three, angry red marks that remained imprinted on her skin, though they’d fully scabbed over. “I consider myself quite lucky, all things considered.” 

“Why did you do it?” 

The Miko ducked her head, willing the sheet of her hair to fall and conceal her mounting blush. She did not need to ask him to clarify; she knew after what he was asking.

But she feigned ignorance all the same. “I don’t know what you mean, Tomioka-sama –” 

“Don’t call me that,” and even though she refused to meet his eyes, she could sense his irritation at her avoidance. “We’re well past such formalities, Y/N.” Giyuu stepped closer to her, his cerulean eyes melting into something more akin to the midnight blue of the evening sky. “You kissed me. That night.” The Water Pillar’s hand glided up the arm that Susumo had injured, caressing softly over the healed skin beneath the sleeve of her kosode.

“I-I did no such thing!” Y/N sputtered, though her reddening cheeks betrayed her. “I was only attempting to help you calm down — you were panicking, and inconsolable.” 

Giyuu’s responding smirk only served to irritate her more. “Should I thank you then, Y/N?” His hand slid from her shoulder to below her chin, his delicate fingers curling to tilt her head up towards his, as he closed the distance between their bodies. “Should I show you how grateful I am that you were able to assuage my worry?” 

Y/N tried to focus on anything but the feeling of Giyuu’s breath — warm and enticing — against her face as he leaned in close. “You had no reason to worry; I was completely fine before you showed up.” 

“Fine,” the ravenette scoffed, his grip on her chin tightening slightly. “So fine that you were bleeding and about to become that beast’s snack — or worse.” 

“But you saved me, did you not?” Y/N whispered, unable to stop her eyes from dropping to the Water Pillar’s sensual, soft-looking mouth before rising once more to meet his punishing gaze. “And then I helped you.” 

Giyuu’s second hand brushed against her waist and the shrine maiden thought she might leap out of her skin. “You did,” he conceded, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a small, half-smile. “Though I apologize that you needed to do so — I suppose I become a little over-zealous when things that are precious to me are threatened.” 

Even if she could have thought of some witty remark to throw back at him, those words surely would have been blocked by her heart as it lodged in her throat. 

Things that were precious to him. She was precious to him.

“So I’ll ask again, Y/N,” Giyuu whispered, and his nose brushed delicately against hers. “Should I thank you for your assistance?” The fingers beneath her chin stroked her jaw. “Should I kiss you?” 

She fought to suppress the excited shudder that licked up her spine. “Yes, Lord Hashira,” she breathed, and her stomach turned cartwheels as Giyuu’s gaze dropped to her mouth. “Perhaps you should.” 

“Who am I to deny the request of a priestess?” Giyuu murmured, and then his lips were moving against hers, warm and soft. Y/N’s fingers flew to clutch the Water Pillar’s rocky biceps beneath the soft cloth of his haori, anchoring him against her. The hand that had gripped below her chin slid to the side of her face, tilting her head so that the Water Pillar could have better access to her as he pressed his lips harder against hers. 

Y/N moaned into his kiss, wanting him closer, impossibly closer to her than he currently was. 

Giyuu broke away from her once, though he kept a hand on the back of her neck to keep her in place. “What are your duties today?” 

Y/N’s fingers curled around the front of the Water Pillar’s haori, her forehead resting against his. “None of import.” She gave him a sly smile. “No one will miss me if I am gone for a few hours.” 

Giyuu returned her smile with a tiny smirk of his own. “In that case,” he tugged her hand and he began to lead her towards the grassy overlook where they’d spent a great deal of time talking and learning one another. “I could use your assistance.”

–

Y/N hadn’t greeted the sunrise with the intent to neglect her shrine duties, but she couldn’t say she regretted how she ended up spending the day.

They spent the day resting on the hillside overlooking the shrine grounds, rolling back and forth upon the browning grass as they kissed each other again and again. 

“You weren’t wrong, that day — right after we met,” Giyuu gasped against her lips as they broke apart, the blush on Y/N’s cheeks a sure match to his own. “I do not find you captivating.”

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed. Her mouth parted, a protest on her tongue when Giyuu surged forward, his lips brushing against her neck. The Miko’s words choked off with a squeak as the Water Pillar danced his lips to the hollow of her throat, his tongue flicking out once right where her heart pulsed wildly. 

“I think you are utterly transfixing; enchanting,” he breathed against her skin. “You have cast a spell over me that I do not want broken.”

“I find it hard to believe anyone could wield that sort of power over a Hashira,” Y/N’s voice was high pitched as Giyuu’s lips made their way back to hers.

In the back of her mind, Y/N wondered if his words were motivated purely by his physical desire for her. It would not have surprised her if he was only so taken with her because he longed to be touched; held. Like him, she’d gone much of her life without intimacy from anyone. She could not blame him for seeking it from someone so willing to give as she. 

“But you are not just anyone, not to me.” was all he replied, his lips moving softly against hers once more. “You are…everything.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. The Water Pillars words, dripping like honey from his lips, were only sweetened by the fervent sincerity of his eyes as he pulled back to gaze into hers, so deeply, she felt as though he could see every thought in her head.

She wondered if he lowered that piercing, discerning stare, whether he’d be able to see straight to her heart, too; see how it bore his name. 

Even though her breath guttered in her throat at his words, her heart clenched painfully in her chest. The idea that she’d attached more meaning to their relationship than he, that perhaps she’d overestimated her value to him made her tense, made her want to push him away and —

“You’re distracted,” Giyuu murmured against her lips, brushing his nose against hers. “Your thoughts are loud.” 

Her fingers caught the front fold of his haori, fiddling idly with it. “There is nothing for you to repay, you know. You do not owe me your time or your attention. I know the Shrine is simply a part of your designated patrol. I understand if its convenience is the only reason —” 

A single finger pressed itself against her lips, quieting her. “You think and talk too much.” The ravenette chastised. Her mouth parted, a protest forming on her lips, when he cut her off again. “Ah ah,” Giyuu silenced her with his lips, his tongue flicking out to skim along her bottom lip. Above her, he shifted and allowed his weight to fall against her, pinning her beneath him. Reluctantly, his mouth broke away from hers. “It is my turn to speak.” 

“I do not come to the Shrine because it is easy,” Giyuu’s lips brushed hesitantly against her jaw. “Nor do I come here out of any preconceived obligation to repay your kindness.” 

He pulled back to study her, panting and flushed beneath him. As his eyes slowly combed over her, Y/N felt a strange knot pull and twist in the depths of her stomach. “There is only one thing that brings me back here, no matter how exhausted I am after weeks of endless missions; no matter how often certain junior Corps members pester me to train them.” His eyes narrowed at the hollow of the Miko’s throat, exposed by the way her kosode had shifted as the pair of them rolled around the grass. Curious, Giyuu leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against it. 

And then he did the unthinkable;  the Water Pillar moaned, ever so softly, against the fluttering of Y/N’s frantic pulse. The sound, so rich and full of need – of want – washed over her and drowned out all other thoughts, all other higher reasoning from her mind. INstead, the Miko was left with nothing but the sharp urge to press her thighs together, an unknown heat beginning to pool in her most sacred area. 

“Do you know what that thing is, Y/N?” He whispered against the soft dip in her throat, his breath hot as it fanned across her skin. “Can you guess what it is I cannot stay away from – could not, even if I desired otherwise?” 

His fingers dropped to the collar of her kosode, tracing lightly over its crisp, white fold. “When I close my eyes in the mornings, it is your face I see,” he murmured. “It is your laugh I hear in my dreams; your scent I find myself longing for when I awaken.”

The Miko shivered as his index finger traced from her collar up her throat, over her chin until it came to rest on her bottom lip, gently stroking over its curve. “It is you I seek to turn to remind myself that there is still good in this world – good still worth protecting. Why is that, Y/N?” His eyebrows furrowed and he seemed almost earnest in his question. “Why is it that my mind refuses to be occupied by anything but you?” 

“Because I vex you,” she said softly, eyes wide and locked with his. “Because, try as you might, you’ve never been able to fully fit me into a box as you have with others.” 

Giyuu shook his head. “Vex me?” He tsked at her. “Perhaps once that was true. But now? I desire you in ways I can hardly understand, and it drives me mad.”

Her breath hitched in her throat. “What are you saying?” 

“I think I’ve been rather clear,” and instinctively, Giyuu rolled his hips against hers, desperate to relieve some of the friction mounting in his groin. “And it’s that I want –” 

But the Miko did not get to hear what Giyuu wanted; not as he was drowned out by the screeching cry of a bird from high above. Only, this bird was not the dull, graying crow she’d come to associate with her Swordsman.

“I thought your crow was older?”

The Water Pillar frowned as he turned to look up, his eyebrows drawn together. “That’s not Kanzaburo — that’s one of the Master’s —“

“CAW,” the bird circled above their heads in narrow, rapid turns. “Lord Tomioka! Return to headquarters immediately!”

Giyuu’s jaw clenched. “Can it not wait?” 

Y/N, however, only gaped up at the bird flying above them. “It talks —?” 

But the crow only cried again, “Emergency meeting at headquarters!!

With a short, frustrated exhale, Giyuu rolled to the side of the Miko and rose, but not before he extended a hand and helped lift her to her feet.

He gingerly brushed some loose grass from her hair. “I’m sorry.” 

She only shook her head as she reached to adjust his haori, righting it in his shoulders. “It’s your duty, Giyuu. I understand that.”

He scowled back up at the bird still circling above them, bleating a refrain of “Emergency! Go now!”

“I’m not finished with this conversation,” Giyuu said plainly, a frustrated hand working through his hair. Though his annoyance was plain as day, it fell away as he looked back to the Miko at his side, his gaze softening. “Nor am I finished with you.” 

A single finger reached under Y/N’s chin and lifted her head toward him so he could brush another kiss against her lips. “I will come see you – soon.” 

With a shy boldness, the Miko rose on her toes and gave him one final kiss, and Giyuu’s hand tightened where it rested against her waist. “I’ll wait for you, Lord Hashira.”

———

December, 1915

Y/N cursed at the ancient priestess who insisted on using only gas-powered lanterns rather than the newer, much safer, electric powered lights that other shrines had begun using. 

“We are an esteemed shrine dating back hundreds of years,” the old crone had simpered, “Tradition has kept us going this far!” 

Y/N hadn’t helped her cause by asking whether tradition or spite was what kept the hag from dying off and finally leaving her in peace.

And that was how the young Priestess-to-be found herself stomping through the snowy grounds of the Shrine, forced to light each and every lantern by hand using a match and oil, utterly by herself.

She knew better than to levy such an obvious taunt at the old woman, but admittedly, Y/N hadn’t been in the best of moods as of late. 

Giyuu had not returned since that day on the hillside, when he’d kissed her silly and told her he could not stop thinking of her. It was as though he no longer existed; even the crows at the Shrine were no more, having all disappeared one morning before she’d awoken.

As the weeks passed, the weight of his absence had grown heavier, threatening to beat her into the ground below. 

But Y/N had done her best to hold her tongue over the last weeks as her anxiety mounted, and Granny should’ve known that — so really, it was her own fault if she’d taken offense to the Miko’s barb.

She grumbled and cursed under her breath as she trudged toward the small garden hut standing at the furthest edge of the Shrine’s grounds — her last stop of the night. She shoved past the old, rickety door and braced her merrily flickering, hand-held lantern out before her, bathing the small hut in a warm, orange glow.

All was silent and quiet within the small storeroom. The air was cold, though the slatted walls of the hut offered some protection from the howling, snow-dotted winds outside. Determined to complete her task and return to the comfort of her warm futon, the Miko fumbled around one of the store shelves for a small can of oil. 

“It’s you,” a quiet voice startled her from behind, and Y/N nearly dropped the lantern clutched in her hands.

But she did not feel afraid as she recognized the calm, soothing cadence of the voice, that voice that belonged to the one person capable of making her blush. 

The one person who held her heart.

“It’s been a while, Giyuu. I was wondering when I’d see you again.” She turned and saw the raven-haired man standing in the doorway of the garden hut, his face characteristically neutral, though he seemed tense, even more so than usual.

Instantly, she moved toward him. “What’s wrong?”

His eyes tightened, and the darkness which swam within them betrayed his aloof facade. “Things have changed quickly in my world,” he began, and she saw his fists clench at his sides. “We believe the demons are preparing for war — and so we have been as well. 

“War?” She repeated softly, her step faltering. “I hadn’t realized the demons were so…organized.”

Giyuu nodded. “One creature is responsible for all demons. He is the orchestrator; he is the one we must kill, and we believe the opportunity to do so is drawing nearer.”

The monotonous cadence of his voice fell away as he quietly added, “That is why I haven’t been able to return — we’ve been training. This battle — it may start at any moment.”

He made like he wanted to say more, but he stopped himself, pressing his lips into a tight line. 

“And?” She prompted gently, taking a solitary step toward him.

“He hesitated, and she spied how his throat worked to swallow. “And I do not know when I will be able to see you again. After tonight.”

Y/N watched him for a moment, her eyes searching his. “When you say you don’t know ‘when’ we will see each other again,” she began, cautiously. “Do you mean ‘if?’”

Giyuu’s answering silence said more than any words could. 

For a moment, the Miko could not remember how to speak, not as she felt the organ in her chest splinter into a thousand, mismatched pieces.

“I just wanted to see you,” the Water Pillar struggled to swallow around the growing lump in his throat. “One last time.” 

She could scarcely breathe. 

He was leaving and he might never return. 

Leaving to go try and put an end to the scourge of demons that plagued their world. It was a noble thing to do; sacrifice in its purest form. 

But she hated it. 

She was filled with such a deep melancholy that it nearly brought her to her knees. As the Water Pillar turned to leave, Y/N couldn’t stop herself as she reached for him, her arms encircling him as her hands locked over his front, stilling him.

“Giyuu,” she said thickly, her face pressed into the back of his haori as she willed the tears in her eyes not to fall. “Giyuu.” 

He turned in her grasp and looked down at her in awe, a finger rising to brush the errant tear that had escaped down her cheek as he held her gaze. 

The flame within her lantern flickered as Giyuu softly grazed his lips against her own, Y/N’s arms weaving around his neck to hold him close to her. 

His hands were gentle, if not a little uncertain as they found her waist, but once they came to a rest against her, he pulled her close, arms winding around her middle and holding her securely against him as he deepened the kiss. She moaned softly into his mouth, her hands tangling in his hair as she opened up for him, his tongue gliding alongside her own until she was left breathless and wanting. 

Vaguely, the Miko was aware that he was walking them deeper into the garden hut, allowing the old door to thud shut behind him, and the thought of not returning to her plush futon suddenly did not seem like such a loss. 

Giyuu’s hands returned to her face, thumbs stroking softly along her cheeks as he broke their kiss to brush his lips against her eyes, her nose, and forehead. Y/N’s hands parted the Water Hashira’s haori from his shoulders as Giyuu’s fingers dropped to her collar bone, sliding beneath her kosode, and grazing her bare shoulder. 

“You have been my most treasured encounter,” he whispered, and she felt her heart seize in her throat, tears threatening to spill anew from her eyes.

A year’s worth of interactions had all led to this moment, but it was not the satisfying payoff of the tension and longing that had been steadily building between them.

This was a goodbye. 

Because it was likely that the Water Pillar would not survive the impending battle; but neither did he want to leave this end untied. 

She had known, deep in her heart, that this affair had been doomed before it had ever begun, but that hadn’t stopped her from falling for the kind, brave, selfless man now kissing her like she was his entire world anyways. 

She would not get to have him in the morning, so she resolved to give herself to him for the night. 

Giyuu’s hands eased her kosode from her shoulders, exposing her to the cool air within the garden hut. His warm hands, however, worked to chase away any chill that spread across her skin as he ran his palms over the curve of her shoulders before sliding down to rest on her bare waist, his long fingers grazing just below the curve of her breasts.

Her own fingers trembled as she fumbled with the buttons on his uniform shirt but in time, she’d worked them open and Giyuu broke their kiss long enough to let his shirt drop to the floor beneath them. 

The two stood there for a moment, chests rising and falling rapidly, as they looked at one another, half-nude and vulnerable. The shrine maiden and the slayer knew that they had come upon a precipice, and if they stepped off that ledge, there would be nothing to break their fall. 

Y/N made the first move, taking a tentative step towards the Water Pillar as she trailed her fingers lightly up the beautiful, sculpted ridges of his abdomen, relishing how warm he was beneath her touch. 

Giyuu shivered beneath her fingertips as the miko’s hand came to a rest against his sternum, marveling the way his heart thundered beneath her hand. “Are you certain?” He breathed, his face was impassive, but his own uncertainty was betrayed by the slight tremor in his voice. His hand rose to gently cup the side of her face, his thumb ghosting over her bottom lip. 

She reached to grab the Pillar’s free hand and brought it up to rest against her sternum, mirroring her own hold on him so that he could feel the steady drum of her own heart — and how it thrummed for him. “Yes,” she whispered. “I’m yours, Giyuu.” 

Once, she had believed the Hashira incapable of expressing anything other than cold aloofness. she’d not been able to comprehend the subtle ways with which his eyes could signal his mood; how they darkened when angry, or how the outer corners turned up, almost imperceptibly, when he was content. 

But she had long since learned to read him, and so, her stomach fluttered at the way the raven haired man’s gaze heated with both adoration and desire — for her. 

Giyu brushed his nose against hers affectionately before bringing their lips together once more, his kiss growing fervent as her hands slid up to tangle in his ebony hair. Y/N gasped into his mouth as she felt Giyu bend down, his hands gripping firmly under her thighs as he lifted her up, forcing her to lock her legs around his waist. Her lips parted, and Giyuu’s tongue slid seamlessly into her mouth.

Her lover locked one steely arm firmly around her lower back to support her as Y/N felt him lower them to the floor to lay her down, the Water Pillar’s free hand coming to brace against the back of her skull, to protect her head from thudding back against the wooden slats of the hut floor. The Miko steadied herself, prepared for the cold bite of the dirty hut floor to nip at the bare skin of her back, but she was only settled against something warm and soft; something that smelled distinctively of the Slayer panting above her. 

Her fingers dropped to her side and grazed against the familiar fabric of Giyuu’s haori; his most prized and cherished possession, spread out beneath her to protect her from the cold ground,  a makeshift bed against which she would let him take her and make her his.

He withdrew his lips from hers to sit back, his cerulean eyes tracing over every inch of her, from the way her dark hair spread out in a soft halo around her, to the blush staining her cheeks. His eyes darkened as they lowered to her bare chest, at the way it rose and fell jerkily as Y/N struggled to control her breathing. 

Giyuu’s long, slim fingers reached out to trace along the top of her scarlet hakama pants, his finger tips just grazing along her ribs and the underside of her breasts. 

“I’d never known such -,” He covered his struggle for words by pressing a sweet kiss against the hollow of her throat, a soft gasp escaping the Miko at the unfamiliar sensation. “Such beauty,” Giyuu’s lips trailed down to skirt across the ridge of her collar bone. “Not until I met you.” 

His face was against her sternum, pressing kisses as he trailed his lips down her skin. “I am sorry I could not give you more time.” His voice was soft, softer than even she had ever known. Before she could respond, Giyuu’s mouth hesitantly brushed against the stiffened peak of her breast, and Y/N’s mouth fell open with a soft cry. 

Azure eyes flashed up to meet hers. “Is this — is this okay?” 

The Miko's eyes fluttered shut as she nodded, unable to trust that she could hold her voice steady if she spoke. Her fingers weaved their way through the Pillar’s thick, raven locks, and she grazed her nails against his scalp in encouragement. 

Giyuu grunted softly at her touch, and he leaned forward to suck more of her soft mound into his hot mouth, teeth grazing lightly against her nipple as he explored her. 

“Oh,” she moaned, her thighs inadvertently pressing together as Giyuu’s tongue and lips worshipped her bared flesh, licking and sucking and nipping at her in his devotion. 

“Beautiful,” he murmured against the soft, sensitive skin of her breast. “So very beautiful.” 

He repeated the movement again and again before he traced his mouth across her sternum and began lavishing her other breast with the same fervor. Her hands fisted in his hair as she mewled for him, enamored with the feeling of his hot mouth latched around her. He gave her more and yet it was not enough; every pass of his tongue over her stiffened peak only amplified the ache between her legs, only made the emptiness she felt more pronounced.

A breathy, whining and needy moan blew past her lips in time with a reflexive buck of her hips against his.  

The ravenette pulled off her breast with a start, his eyes bright and his cheeks flushed as he gazed down at her in awe. “Do that again.”

“W-what —?” She pushed herself up on her elbows to look down at him, her chest heaving.

“Tell me what to do,” Giyuu’s breath was ragged though his fingers continued trailing down her sides, seeking out the ties securing her bottoms around her waist. “Tell me how I might help you make that sound again.” 

“I –” Y/N squirmed beneath the intensity of his gaze, her thighs rubbing together to stifle some of the electricity she felt between her legs. “I want you to – I need you closer.” 

Her eyes drifted to the bulge that had formed between the Hashira’s thighs, and she felt her heart skip in her chest.

Giyuu pressed his groin against hers and ground. She gasped at the spark of pleasured friction the movement stoked between her thighs, and her eyes flew to meet his, only to see they were as wide as hers. 

And just as hungry. 

Her hand gently cupped his face. “Closer. Please.” 

He pressed his cheek into her palm and with a soft groan, his fingers quickly loosened the fastenings of her bottoms and then he was pushing them down her hips and over her legs, discarding them carelessly to the side. Giyuu sat back on his knees and let his eyes roam her, now fully bare and laid out beneath him. 

When his appraisal of her finally reached the thatch of curls between her thighs, the Water Pillar loosed a shaky breath. She had half a mind to cross her legs, to conceal the most intimate part of her body from the raging fire of his gaze as he studied her, but she forced herself to remain relaxed; open.

One, broad and calloused hand stretched tentatively out to run along the outside of her hip and down her leg, before smoothing back up in the inside of her thigh. His eyes flicked once to hers, and then he leaned forward and brushed delicate kisses down her abdomen, over her hip and along her thigh. He continued his descent as he slowly pushed himself back from her, and once he imparted one last, sweet press of his lips against her ankle, he rose. 

The flickering light of the lantern cast shadows along the alabaster of his skin, further accentuating how the muscles of his torso and abdomen flexed and shifted as he worked to free himself of the remainder of his clothes. His eyes did not leave hers, not even as his hands found the buckle of his belt and tugged it loose, and Y/N found herself free falling into their depths.

The ravenette dropped his belt to the floor, and then his fingers were at the waistband of his trousers, pulling and fiddling with their fastening. At last, Giyuu freed his lower half from the confines of his uniform pants and stepped out from the puddle they made at his feet. 

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat as her eyes raked over his beautiful form, so lean yet solid and muscular. Her cheeks burned with a renewed blush as her gaze followed the small, dark trail of hair beginning just below his navel, and down between his hips, where the evidence of his desire stood proud. 

Her throat went dry. He was large — the flared head of his tip nearly grazed his navel, and his width was a little more than two of her fingers. Her thighs clamped together nervously, as she pondered how on earth she’d be able to accommodate him.

Giyuu noticed her hesitation, and a faint dusting of pink spread across his cheeks. “I have never -“

The shrine maiden shook her head. “Nor I,” she whispered, though the knowledge that this was as new to him as it was to her helped ease the clench in her stomach. For all her nervousness, the Miko could not ignore the heat and longing which burned within her as she lifted her eyes back to his. She found her muscles softening as she saw the same fire within those cyan pools she’d come to love. Y/N laid back against the floor — against the comforting soft of his haori, and let body relax, her legs falling open to him. 

She held her hand out to him, beckoning, “Come back to me, Giyuu.” 

The ravenette did not hesitate as he returned to her, covering her body with his own as he pulled her in for a heated kiss, the weight of his hardened length resting heavily against her hip as he settled between the cradle of her thighs.

Y/N moaned into his mouth, instinctively rolling her hips against him, desperate to feel closer to the man who had claimed her heart before she’d realized anyone was capable of holding it.  

Giyuu groaned, softly, against her as she repeated the movement, breaking their kiss to look down at the flushed Miko threatening to drive him wild with her silken touch. As much as he was desperate to feel her — every part of her — he knew what they were about to do would not be nearly as pleasurable for her as it would be for him. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” the Water Pillar’s eyes were stormy, a tempest of competing desire and pain at the idea of causing her even the slightest discomfort raging within him. 

Y/N brushed her lips against his once before trailing along his jaw, pausing only to suck softly as the soft spot beneath his ear. “I am only ever undone by you; never hurt.” 

He moaned softly, lowering his head back down to reclaim her mouth firmly with his own, his lips beseeching her to let him consume her. 

She was only too happy to do so, parting her mouth so that his tongue could slide in and dance languidly with hers, as he reached between them, gripping hold of his aching length and positioning himself at her entrance. 

The first brush of his hot, velvety tip against her folds broke their kiss, both gasping at the new yet intoxicating feel of the other’s most intimate area. 

Giyuu braced his free arm by her head, his fingers stretching to run comfortingly through her hair, as he pressed his forehead against hers. “If it becomes too much, just tell me, and we can stop.” His voice shook ever so slightly as he waited for her signal, the ache in his groin becoming nearly painful. 

The Miko grazed her lips against his throat. “Don’t stop.” She murmured. She hitched her legs higher up on his hips, angling herself so the trembling man above her would have better access to her. 

Slowly, so very slowly, the tip of Giyuu’s length began to push into her, and Y/N felt herself temporarily forget how to breathe. Above her, Giyuu’s eyes squeezed shut in a concerted effort not to sheathe himself within her in one stroke. 

“Y/N,” Giyuu panted, unable to stop the shaky moan that fell from his lips as he sunk into her warm heat that wrapped tight, so impossibly tight around him.

The shrine maiden winced at the unfamiliar and slightly uncomfortable sensation of being slowly stretched and filled by the Pillar. She felt as though she was a wave, crashing and breaking and parting around a rocky shore with every inch gained by the press of his hips against hers. 

Giyuu hardly had a quarter of himself seated within her when he felt his head brush against a thin barrier. His eyes opened to look down at the Miko, panting beneath him, her eyebrows pinched in slight discomfort. When she noticed he’d stopped, she peered up at him through her thick eyelashes, her cheeks flushed. 

The hand Giyuu had held at his base to help guide himself within her lifted to grip her hip, her legs relaxing as his fingers massaging soothing circles into her flesh. Giyuu removed his forehead from its resting place against hers and he buried his face into the side of her neck as he pressed his body flush against hers. The hand he’d used to brace himself found hers, and he lifted to rest above her head, his fingers twining tightly with her own. 

“I’m okay,” she whispered, pressing a sweet kiss against the shell of his ear. Giyuu nearly shuddered at her words, and he pressed his hips forward, his cock finally breaching that thin, inner barrier to the rest of her welcoming heat. 

Y/N cried out at the bright spark of pain that flared through her as Giyuu claimed her as his own, but the Pillar held her steady, pressing open-mouthed kisses against her neck. 

A hitched gasp blew past Giyuu’s lips as he became fully seated within her heat, her core gripping him like a vice. He panted against the sweat-dampened skin of her neck as they both adjusted to the sensation, her nails digging harshly into the skin of his back as she waited for the discomfort to subside. 

Giyuu pulled his face back to look down at her, the hand he’d had on her hip rising to cup her face as he brushed his lips across her cheeks and eyes. 

“My beloved, are you all right?” His breath came hard and fast as he panted, the growing friction between where they were connected becoming hotter, more demanding the longer he remained still. 

Y/N’s eyes slowly opened to meet his, he felt her relax as he kissed her, slow and gentle. 

Her lips broke from his and she nodded, shakily. “You can move — just hold me. Please.” 

Giyuu let his full weight fall against her as he wound an arm tightly around her waist, his other hand tilting her face up so he could kiss her fiercely, eager to show her what she meant to him when his words otherwise failed to do so. As she opened up to him, tongue flicking out shyly along his lip, Giyuu rolled his hips experimentally against hers. 

Both the shrine maiden and the Pillar cried out in unison as Giyuu’s movement stoked an intense pleasure where they were joined.

It was like a spark of flame had ignited between her legs before shooting up to her belly, making her insides clench and pulse. 

It was addicting, and, judging by the way the raven haired swordsman above her hissed, he’d felt that jolt of electrifying pleasure, too.

“Oh,” Giyuu moaned as he began to move atop her, his cock sliding in and out of her heat as he worked to set a pace. “You feel – this is –” his stutters broke off  into ragged pants that melted into broken moans with every movement as he found his rhythm.

The grip he had on her hand tightened as he pulled back from her neck in favor of watching her body jolt and bounce with each of his thrusts. 

His head dropped down to study how his length, now coated in something shiny, appeared with every long draw of his hips out before disappearing back into her warmth. 

He threw his head back. “Heaven,” the Water Pillar groaned out, a tendon throbbing in his neck as another cracked moan slipped free from his throat. “You are heaven.” 

Shallow thrusts turned deeper, more purposeful, as the Water Pillar settled into his tempo. Each push of his hips opened her up more, bit by bit, until Y/N’s limbs liquified and she was left moaning and whimpering in time with his movements.

One particular thrust made her cry out, caused her legs to reflexively tighten around Giyuu’s hips as something hot flared deep within her stomach. 

“M-more,” she managed, her voice tapering off with a squeak. She needed to feel that spark again, wanted to feel that jolt of electricity that made her stomach clench. “P-please — ah!— Giyuu —“ 

With something between a moan and a growl, Giyuu  angled himself to thrust deeper, his weight pushing her hips back from the floor. Her legs were forced to hike higher up his waist, her ankles locking instead against the dip in his spine rather than his backside. 

The new angle meant that Giyuu was able to hit at a spot that sent a bolt of lightening between her legs, and she could feel herself tighten around him. 

The combination of her walls fluttering and pulsing around him and the strange fullness she felt was both overwhelming and exhilarating. She did not think she could stand to feel empty again; to not feel him consuming every inch of her.

Gradually, the small garden hut was filled by the sounds of their pants and moans, weaving together to form the melody of a song meant only for them.

Giyuu began thrusting harder, and soon, a dull clap of skin began to reverberate off the hut’s slatted wood walls, adding a steady beat to the rhythm of their pleasure. Though the air inside the hut had been nearly as frigid as what lay beyond its door, both the Miko and the Slayer found themselves coated in a thin sheen of sweat that made their skin glisten in the faint, orange glow of her lantern.

Above her, the Water Pillar was as lost in his pleasure as she. Guided purely by instinct, Y/N arched her lower back away from the floor until her breasts were flush against his sternum, desperate to feel that jolting spark between her legs. 

She felt the walls her of her core clench tighter around Giyuu’s length with her movement, and he answered her with a deep growl as his arm cinched tighter around her waist.

Deep; he was so deep within her, that she wondered whether he might reach her soul before they had to part.

Giyuu’s thrusts quickened, the base of his groin grinding against that sensitive spot between her thighs that had her wanting more as she moaned, her thighs squeezing the Hashira’s hips.

His head was thrown back, his eyes tightly shut as the most beautiful sounds of pleasure Y/N had ever heard poured from Giyuu’s mouth.

“I — fuck.” He growled as one arm tightened around her waist to the point of pain, the other grabbing her hand to bring it to his lips in a futile attempt to stifle the sounds lilting from him like song. 

His name fell from her lips like a hallowed oath and Y/N’s legs fell to the side, allowing Giyuu to chase the crescent of his release, as hips pistoned into her with wild abandon. 

“Y-Y/N,” her black-haired beauty of a lover grit through clenched teeth, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple. “My treasure, I-I’m gonna-“ 

The Water Pillar buried his face into the side of her neck, cradling his groans into her throat, and Y/N could feel his length twitch within her.

As Giyuu’s hips slammed into her one final time, so to did the realization that she loved this; she wanted always to be this close to him, wanted always to be unable to tell where she ended and he began.

She loved him. 

But the bitter truth was that she’d never again get to hold Giyuu the way she was right then, legs wrapped tightly around his waist as she felt something warm gush through her, a pleasured groan, so beautiful and husky tumbling from the Hashira’s lips as he pressed a sweet kiss against her collarbone. 

She would not get to love him past this most sacred rite. 

If she were honest, she’d likely never again experience this intimacy with anyone, for as long as she lived — for how could anyone else ever possibly compare? 

She supposed she’d been doomed to never hold onto the people who were meant to love her since the day she was born. She should’ve known better.

But as the roll of Giyuu’s hips into her heat slowed, and his labored breaths eased, Y/N could not find it within herself to regret it; to regret him. 

Because, fool though she was, she loved him. 

Giyuu collapsed against her, his face nuzzling into the crook of her neck as he came down from his high, still buried inside her as the two panted. 

Her hands moved of their own accord to card through his raven hair, fingertips massaging his scalp as his breathing slowed, his breath adding further moisture to the already sweat-dampened skin of her neck. 

She wished they could remain like that always; that the dawn creeping over the horizon would not herald forth the sun, and they could stay on the floor of the garden hut forever, wrapped in one another’s embrace. She desperately wanted to memorize the tempo of his heart as it beat steadily against his chest, the vibrations of which she felt against her ribs. Such a beautiful melody, it was, and yet it filled her with such despair to know she might never again hear its sweet song; that it might cease playing forever, the moment Giyuu resumed being the Water Pillar once more, and walked through the shrine gates for the last time. 

But Y/N had never had anyone she could call her own, and as much as she loved the man nuzzling her neck as he whispered sweet nothings against her skin, he’d never been hers to keep. 

“My beautiful, beautiful Y/N,” Giyuu murmured, kissing his way up her throat to her lips. “Are you alright?” 

She held his lips for a moment before breaking away, letting her eyes roam his face, and she nodded. “Are you?” 

To her utter surprise, the Water Pillar chuckled softly, his laugh breathy and his smile heartbreakingly beautiful. “Yes, my treasure. I am more than alright.” 

He brushed a kiss against the tip of her nose. “After all, I am with you.”

———-

He’d brought her against his chest and they’d laid there together, simply staring at one another, trading soft kisses as Giyuu traced a finger over every feature of her face at least twice. 

If he was to die, he knew his last thoughts would be of her, and he wanted to be sure he’d committed every last detail of her face to memory.

Soon, far too soon, the deep indigo of the night sky was broken by the first, watery rays of morning light, and both the Miko and the Slayer knew their time was up.

The lovers dressed quickly, their backs to one another as both steeled themselves for the goodbye they could no longer avoid. 

And now, that time had come. Though it was Giyuu who walked to his likely doom, Y/N felt as if she was embarking on her own death march as the pair drew near the towering Shrine gate. Perhaps she was; after all, he would be taking her heart with him, and she was unlikely to get it back.

Y/N did not know whether to lean in and kiss him, one last time, or whether such a display of affection would only scratch at the gaping, open wounds they now bore on their chests, where their hearts had been. 

Giyuu, apparently, did not know what to do either, so the two only stood there beneath the Torii, eyes swimming with emotions neither could bear to voice. 

There was a beat, and then the two moved toward one another, drawn together like magnets as they locked themselves in a tight embrace. Giyuu’s hand cupped the back of her skull as Y/N pressed her face hard into his shoulder. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his haori, desperate to keep him rooted to her — to life, safe and away from demons. 

But he couldn’t stay; she knew that. And so, with a deep inhale in a desperate attempt to memorize that mahogany and citrus scent of his she so adored, Y/N pulled away. She made to step back from him entirely, to put distance between them, but those warm fingers caught her under her chin, tilting her head up to face him before his hand slid to cup her cheek. 

The emotion swimming in the azure depths of his irises threatened to chisel away at the lock she kept on her own. Tears burned in her eyes, but she would not let them fall; she would not make this harder for herself — for him — than it already was. 

“If you do not hear from me, leave the mountain. Go to the city, and do not go out at night. Keep your dagger and wisteria on you at all times, even when you sleep,” Giyuu’s eyes were serious, the hand on her face holding her in place. “Live, Y/N. Grow to be an old woman. Die only from age.”

The shrine maiden closed her eyes as she willed herself not to cry. “And if you win?” 

Giyuu hesitated for a moment and Y/N knew better than to ask him to make a promise he could not keep. 

“Send a crow, if you can.” She whispered, feigning a small smile. “It would be nice to not be afraid to go and gather night-blooming herbs.”

The Water Pillar nodded, his hand smoothing through her hair one last time as his lips pressed against her forehead. “Thank you, Y/N.” 

She didn’t need to ask what for.

She hoped she’d never forget the way he said her name; the longing and the breathless passion that dripped from every syllable, and the way it sent shivers down her spine. 

Giyuu broke away from her and set off towards the east. Y/N watched until he was nothing more than a speck on the horizon, before he disappeared entirely. 

He did not look back. 

————————

He hadn’t trusted himself to look back at her, though every fiber of his being had screamed at him to turn around and behold her beauty one last time. But the Shrine Maiden had become his largest weakness, and Giyuu knew if he’d looked back, he would never make it back to his estate; to the Corps. 

And if you win? She’d asked him, and he hadn’t been able to form the words of the answer he’d so desperately wanted to give her.

Because while Giyuu Tomioka never made promises he couldn’t keep, that did not mean he didn’t hope. Right then, more than anything, his greatest desire was to win this war; win it, and come back and tell Y/N that she no longer needed to fear the night. 

In any other life — if Giyuu had been any other man — there would be no question as to who he’d choose to spend the rest of his days with. 

And so, Giyuu thought as he forced himself to march forward, his eyes burning, if he made it out of this war alive, he would go back to the Shrine and tell Y/N of their victory himself.

And perhaps she’d then allow him to make her his wife.

Keep an eye out for Part II to see if Giyuu comes back and makes good on his promise!

COMMENTS, REBLOGS, AND LIKES ALWAYS APPRECIATED!

[beabadoobiefanatic]

I Want You (She's So Heavy) ✥ Remmick

Chapter 1 ✥The (Un)Welcome Mat

Other Chapters: ✥1 ✥2

-ˋˏ ༻🎕°⋆༺. ✥ .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-

.༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-chapter summary: In which Remmick lays claim to his new fiancée and sheds light on his cruel intentions. .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ- chapter warnings: graphic depictions of gore and violence, male-on-female violence, female-on-male violence, mentions/promises of child murder

.༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ- story summary: The Smiths have long borne sons and daughters of hunters for centuries, tracking and eradicating the cryptids that ran through the Mississippi Delta like blood roots; thus, it would only be assumed that [F/N] Smith should take the legacy on as well. However, her passion for music-- her gift and inclination of it ran within her, deeper than any blood and any 'fate', and so she took her bearings up to Chicago, indulging in the sin of the nightlife. But no matter how far she ran, Remmick couldn't get her songs out of her head-- he couldn't ignore a chance to once again be reunited with his own people, a chance only granted through the turning of a Smith girl. And thus, he sought out to take [F/N] as his little pawn, his little tool, and his little wife.

.༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ- major warning(s): explicit sexual content, mention of the Klu-Klux-Klan, graphic depictions of violence and gore, blood, blood consumption, minor religious imagery and symbolism, gaslighting, manipulation, rough sex, verbal degradation, very minor amounts of period-typical racism

.༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-tags: black! female! reader, F/M pairing, usage of [F/N] [L/N] instead of Y/N, crossposted on Archive of Our Own (AO3), erotica, vampires, southern gothic, angst, comedy, slow burn, forced marriage, strangers to lovers, roommates, (eventual) mutual pining, enemies to lovers, love/hate, awkward tension, Remmick is a cannon mix of offputting and charismatic, miscommunication, pre-canon, alternate universe - canon divergence, hurt/comfort, mental instability, vampire slayers, soul bond, sexual fantasy, rough sex, hate sex, cunnilinguis, irish language

chapter wc: 2,720

fic wc: 2,720

chapters: 1/ ?

chapter publish date: 5/7/25 story last updated: 5/7/25

-ˋˏ ༻🎕°⋆༺. ✥ .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-

That mojo bag wasn’t worth a goddamn thing; her mother’s roots were so thin you’d mistake them as hair. 

She panted heavily, rolling onto her side as she spat out a mouthful of blood. Her vision was blurred, her ears ringing heavily. No matter how much she wanted to convince herself that her weakness simply came from a lack of willpower, the unbearable tearing feelings of every little muscle in her chest said otherwise. It throbbed and amplified as she attempted to army-crawl away, greedy for air that only stung as it flooded her now sore lungs. Even her coughs felt like an attack, her whole body wincing and convulsing. 

Still, she’d born no tears. Claw marks, kicks, and punches, sure– but no tears.

And like a man who’d just finished having her fill, she too found her limit when her body entirely gave away and went limp beneath her, her cheeks smooshing against her apartment’s living room carpet, her breaths slow and ragged as her head thudded and pounded. 

Just as she’d found a moment of peace or perhaps a small sanctuary amidst chaos, her assailant came sauntering up, stepping over her with his feet planted on either side beside her hips. He came down and flipped her around with such effortlessnes that she almost felt silly for trying him in the first place. She backed up a bit with a great deal of pain, her lips and nose dribbling with blood. And stuck to her chest was a little baggie soaked in blood, unscathed, unlike the one it had been meant to protect.

He’d not gone unscathed. Deep, skin-severing gashes that were just beginning to heal littered his face, his neck split open and actively dribbling liquid that pitter-pattered down at his feet, wetting his good shoes. His left eye was nothing but a gaping hole that let you peek into the frayed, wet flesh of his socket. Despite what looked like man-killing injuries, he was no man, and thus he stood atop her with a smile. Not of perversion and not of amusement– fuck no, she’d easily proven herself formidable and for that she had his respect. So he smiled out of triumph, pride, in a sort of ‘I finally got you without outright killing you’ way. 

He looked to his left and down slowly, spitting a ball of pure blood as he cleaned the remnants off his lips with the back of his hand. He cleared his throat real hard.

“You yieldin’?”

She looked up at him in a hateful silence. She couldn’t properly speak until she’d swallowed the mouthful of her own blood, which ached her throat even further. Her eye had even twitched a little as she winced, but she spat back;

“What it look like?”

The calmness of her voice did not reflect the anger that bubbled to the surface. The giddy white man chuckled at her dry humor, though she was convinced he drew more humor from her misery and the pride he took in the success of his attack. 

He smiled and backed away from her, but not without a quick whim for pettiness. He swung his foot into her knee and watched her lurch forward, immediately regretting the motion due to how the rest of her body tensed. Once he heard what he called a ‘satisfactory’ noise, he nodded to himself with his own approval. He looked down at her and spoke with mock pity. 

“Ah, shit. Well, see– now would be the time to apologize t’ya. As a feminist myself, I don’t particularly believe in pullin’ punches– nor banjos– on perfectly capable women. ‘Specially you. I swear, I tried to take it easy on ya’--”

“Easy on me?” She repeated, scoffing as she looked to her right. The half-split remnants of the banjo lay there as a reminder of what had caused her injury, and it only made her boil more. 

“I know some grown ass men who can't even take a banjo to the head that fuckin’ hard, let alone a young lady” she spat mildly, touching the area of impact with her fingertips, bringing them back and inspecting the blood.

He put his hands up in defense, nodding as he accepted her criticism. He enjoyed his banter with the girl, and so he saw no reason to scare the attitude out of her. Not yet, at least; that always came naturally.

“I promise fo’ God that I did. However, I must admit, I got cocky n’ figured you forgot all that your daddy taught ya when ya moved out here so, I truly didn’t expect sucha fight. Perhaps I panicked a lil’-- overreacted?” 

“What,” she mocked, because mockery was all she’d had at the moment, “you was bein’ cautious? Thought I was hidin’ some kinda strength from ya til’ the last minute?”

“Mmmmaybe,” he chided, “n’ I’d expect you of all people t’know a thing ‘er two ‘bout caution, even though you left a welcome mat outside that there door. I mean hell,” he waved his finger around and gestured to everything– “house smelled like a muhfuckin’ field of garlic ‘fore I came up in here; and yet, you ignored the most important rule: makin’ sure I wasn’t invited in, in any way, shape, or form.”

He thought and stopped himself after a moment of introspection, making a funny face before he looked on apologetically. 

“Huh. Field, that’s a bit offensive, given your people’s history with the word… my apologies, I’ve been so rude, ain’t I? I do hope you know that despite this lil’ encounter, I do in fact happen to be a sympathizer to the struggle of colored folks– ‘specially black folk.” 

“Uh-huh… you a funny motherfucker, aintcha? You must fancy yourself a comedian?”

He thought with a fake and exaggerated ponder, shrugging as he scrunched his face. He broke a smile– 

“Lil’ bit, yeah. I’m glad you agree!” 

His voice was cocky with a deep, southern draw. It had a goofiness that [F/N] recognized in white folks from back home in the Mississippi Delta, except his had a bit of charm to it. 

She rolled off her back and onto her side, lifting herself off the floor to sit up a bit. The taste of copper was subtle in her mouth, but her voice worked just fine. She matched his southern drawl with her own, though her voice was a lot more proper, even if she was fuming. She managed to breathe with more regulation, her shirt clawed halfway to death. She could see a grimace in his eyes as he observed his damage, and although he’d been prideful of himself earlier. he rethought the amount of force he’d used. Now that the thrill of the conquer was over and he’d managed to win their little cat fight, he cursed himself for that fact. 

“Hope you know I coulda ended this a lot earlier,” he said, pacing around her tauntingly— observantly. “Coulda knocked y’out and bit ya, turned ya n’ taken the gift for myself. But nooo, I decided to be civil for once n come to you with a fair offer. I decided to be civil again by not snappin’ you in half like a fuckin’ twig n’ instead, gave you a chance to fight. N’ now, look at how you’ve treated me! N’ these is my good clothes, shit.” 

Her jaw went slack with enraged apallment, pointing her finger at him–

“You came up in my house talkin’ bout marriage– marriage! Holy matrimony with a goddamn demon, don’t that sound a lil’ crazy?! And– I barely even know you! What, cause you left a few gifts on my window when I was younger, I’m ‘posed to shack up with you?” 

The worst of her fate was all out in the open, and that didn’t make her any less horrified. She’d always assumed her family’s culture of superstition was based on nonsensical fairy tales, but because they’d been so scared of sending her off to the big city on her own, she’d taken that bit of culture with her and done everything they’d asked. And although she found the whole thing ridiculous, she too found fear in running away from home, and so she’d easily taken another step to ensure her safety, even if it was from something fake.

Now, that “fake” danger stood before her, clasped in blood and unaffected by all her precautions. She felt scammed, but most importantly, she’d felt scared. 

And now it only worsened; there was more to her fate than a bite. There was another stipulation he had more plans for her, which she couldn’t help but fear were worse than something as simple and (un)natural as feeding. It was a matter of being bound to him, for reasons she couldn’t place. He’d already told her he wanted her gift, but there was no logical explanation in his plight for her hand in marriage. 

He was awfully vague about his motivations, too. He was so nonchalant about the whole ordeal, likely because he knew he held all the power, and to fuss or try to explain himself was simply an unnecessary exhaustion of energy. He was going to marry her, he was going to turn her, and he was going to use her gift for himself. And what could she do? She’d already expelled her arsenal. 

“Well, you could say no,” he reasoned, “but then I’d just bite you here n’ now, and let your family find you and kill ya.”

“They wouldn’t,” she retorted quickly. Too quickly– it made Remmick smirk knowingly.

“Please, you didn’t even believe that one bit. They’d think it a mercy to just kill you rather than let you live as one of my kind. Gon’ tell me otherwise.”

She didn’t even have to think to know he was right, and bitterly she pursed her bloodied lips into a fine line, the blood from her nose dribbling off them and down her chin. She wiped her face with the back of her hand as a bitter silence ensued between the two of them– and when she didn’t respond, the man smiled with satisfaction; a knowing, cocky satisfaction.

“Smart girl. Except, you seem confused about my intentions. Allow me to clarify:”

He looked her up and down indifferently, almost analyzing her, before he spoke up.

“‘S deeper than flesh,” he said, plainly. “I did not go through the trouble that I did to find you just for pussy nor blood, ‘scuse my vulgarity. However, them is commodities I can get anywhere. But you, that gift– that voice?” he whistled. “I mean bea-utiful, truly; can’t find your songs anywhere else– your gift. N’ so, let me tell you how this is gon’ work–”

He knelt to her eye level, getting in close:

“You’re gon pack whatever you may need, n’ leave all the hoodoo-voodoo shit in here; you can gon’ head n’ keep that lil bag, though. Then, you’re gon’ climb in the car, and we’re gon’ pay your folks a lil’ visit.”

At the mention of Remmick coming anywhere near her family, her eyes had shot open. He clocked the fear upon her face and instantly shushed her, watching her face freeze in worry. He paused and almost laughed at how surprised she’d gotten.

“We’re not killin’ em– shit, calm down a lil’! They’re too well-versed for me to not feel a lil’ worried about takin’ em’ on. So, instead, we’re just gon show ‘em you’re in good hands; show em’,” he said, pulling something out of his pocket. When the light hit it just right, a little thin, gold band reflected, as he polished it with his shirt despite the blood. He took her shock-paralyzed hand and awkwardly put the ring on her, feeling reaffirmed in his decisions when he’d seen just how well the damn thing had fit. 

“Show em’ you’re engaged, so you won’t be comin’ round no more, so they can’t come lookin’ for ya when I turn ya, n’ they won’t get suspicious of me. N’ if you give em’ any reason to think the situation is anything but that…” he sighed, “then I’ll kill the youngin’s. Obviously, I know my chances of tusslin’ your whole goddamn family n’ winnin’ are awful slim but, the kids? They can’t defend themselves–”

[F/N] felt a brief second wind at that, the very thought of him even touching her younger siblings (when in fact, he could very easily kill them; they were all but 4, 8, and 12) put such a violent amount of fear and worry into her that hysterics had begun to claw at her. 

“Don’t you fucking dare–!”

“-- Then don’t put me in that position,” he interjected, sternly this time. “Neither of us want it to come to that, so let's avoid that situation, hm? You hear me on that?”

She ignored him entirely; “You trifling piece of no-good horseshit–”

“Are we clear?” 

He came again, more sternly this time as he locked his simmering-red eyes on her, scanning her face for any indication of understanding and thus, submission. He didn’t let up while he watched her chew her lip, and while he watched her eyes gloss over with frustrated tears despite her hardened, angry expression. 

And after a few seconds, without ever looking at him, she nodded slowly. The lump in her throat burned so much that she could barely muster the words, nodding half-heartedly.

“Fine.”

He cupped his ear in her direction. “Might be old but I ain’t hard of hearin’: I didn’t quite catch that?”

Smug motherfucker. [F/N] repressed the flurry of curses, tears, and insults that had gurgled and cooked in her chest, clawing up to her throat in an attempt to get out and attack the vampire. But, she loudly swallowed it down, her voice cracking a bit as she fought to be louder this time despite her restraint. She had to be smart; this wasn’t a personal matter anymore, and she had to be considerate with her words. Still, she couldn’t extinguish her anger entirely.

 

“I said fine. Fine, alright? Fuckin’ fine. The hell else am I ‘sposed to say, no? I don’t got no other options, do I?”

He shrugged, “Coulda’ left em’ for dead; not everybody’s fond of their kinfolk. Just happens to be my luck that you are.” 

She mulled over the gravity of her situation with bitter resentment.

 

She couldn’t stomach the thought, and it had all felt so fictional. For him to break into her little apartment above the jazz bar she’d worked at these past few years and immediately proclaim a wife for himself simply because she’d lost a fight. She bit the inside of her cheek and wondered, ‘Had I fought harder, would I even have to worry about this?’. What would it have taken to keep her out of this situation between a rock and a hard place? 

The restraints of her situation were not physical. She was not bound by the wrists with rope or rags, and she wasn’t paralyzed either. However, she sat before a man whose maw was soaked in nearly-fresh blood, his teeth razor sharp and his eyes bearing the red gleam of hot, simmering coals. She couldn’t overcome the lump of cowardice in her throat that would bubble to the surface if she confronted the situation for what it was– confront it as an extension of her failure to kill him for the second time. 

But her fate was so obvious; she didn’t even have to say it, and so she didn’t have to believe it either: it simply was. 

He could see the shift in her expression and nodded, unveiling those awful, jagged fangs. And although he would’ve appreciated a sob or a cry of terror, the priceless expression on her face was enough. He reveled in her horror-stricken silence. With a sly, smug eye, he reveled in her recognition of her hopelessness. His chest only brightened as he watched her painfully stumble up onto her haunches and lift herself off the ground, moving limply like a corpse. 

She turned towards her bedroom, almost swaying.

“I’ll do it, all of it– just.. I’ll..” She swallowed hard.

A morbid acceptance burrowed itself in her mind and heart. 

“I’ll start packin’.”

-ˋˏ ༻🎕°⋆༺. ✥ .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-

a/n 1: first of all, PLEASE leave comments, them shits were so funny and so supportive when I had posted my OG snippet; I love engagement like that so much! brings me back to the wattpad days of giggling at the comments more than giggling at the story. a/n 2: finna update this bitch w/ a double feature this week (its 5/7/25 rn, let's aim for at least one of those being published by 5/9/25-- you're allowed to *respectfully* ask about updates in case I do fall behind); first, with a contextualizing chapter and then a chapter that gets back in the main plotline.

[mullermilkshake]

Sixty one days

Part 3 <- Part 4 -> Part 5

Two months. Two fucking months.

Yandere!Jinwoo Sung x Fem Hunter!reader Canon-typical violence,Trying for a baby, Jinwoo is getting a little desperate,Authoritative pressure,Mentions of pregnancy/unprotected sex/sexual acts/breeding

<<< For more Dark/Yandere content, click this link to go back to the Masterlist! >>>

<<< Or back to this fic's Master list. >>>

EDIT - I have only watched the anime and haven't gotten round to reading the manhwa yet. Please refrain from spoilers.

Two months later. And still no baby.

The morning followed news of Hae-In’s pregnancy announcement. You were still training and if you weren’t pregnant by now, that was the root cause.

You were pushing yourself too hard, Jinwoo knew it just by the sweat dripping from your forehead. The pressure from the association was the contributing factor that morning, paired with Jinwoo’s system quest, you and he weren’t doing so hot.

Each time you received Jinwoo’s load inside you, it was delivered on the hope that one would get you pregnant. One after the other, it grew way more than just a quest for him to complete. Jinwoo was driven to the point that he solely wanted those two little lines on that stick to prove that he was more than enough to look after you.

The whole day put Jinwoo in a foul mood, standing off by the viewing platform to witness your abilities alongside Jong-In. He wasn't participating, just mulling over how to smooth things with you and that strained apartment.

In a versus sparring match, Jinwoo put his money on you, despite knowing Jong-In’s abilities, yours were more of a utility. You were of the variety where you quickly learned that you were capable of fighting close and long ranged combat. Your abilities as a mage made you one of a kind for close quarters fighting despite your lack of experience. A perfect counter to other mage types like Jong-In.

The one ability Jinwoo took interest in was your direct spell casting. Royal’s Gatekeeper.

After the hunters finished swarming Jong-In with congratulations, he entered the area and faced you. Jinwoo’s eye twitched at the way you patted Jong-In on the back before standing in the indicated half box to await the match's starting point. He hated the way you were so friendly with him, loathed it, wanted to rip his hair out and slice the man up into pieces.

Like he was the ‘ultimate weapon’ and lately, Jinwoo found himself wanting to put that assumption to the test. It was clear who would win if Jinwoo took Jong-In on.

“Things are going to get hot in here.” Hunter Baek stood nearby with Hunter Ma, watching along as the match between two S-Rank hunters began.

“Yeah, but she’s pretty good at capture the flag.”

Baek shrugged and disagreed. “But Jong-In is pretty fast, she’ll have to break the distance first before she can even land a hit on him, her long range spell isn't refined enough yet, she's still got a long away to go. I'm not sure he’ll give her that chance at least, he was pretty riled up this morning.”

Ma scratched his head and rested on his chin over the railing. “But with her ability… makes it kinda difficult, right?”

Royal’s Gatekeeper was a peculiar ability which could beat Jinwoo’s shadow exchange in comparison. A direct summoning spell that essentially ripped holes in reality, making miniature gates for teleportation of objects and people. Shadow exchange had a three hour cool down, Jinwoo was working on reducing that tirelessly, however you just naturally received it, right in the palm of your hand without any delay, operating it in real time.

The things Jinwoo could do with that ability were infinite. For one, which you had displayed once before, was creating a way out of a red gate, allowing safe passage back. An escape spell.

Though Jinwoo did not need it to escape as such, he wanted it for something more elusive. The fascinating thing was that the gates themselves produced minute amounts of energy, explained by you to use practically none of your mana either. But if he controlled you, he had access to it. 

Jinwoo watched you run towards Jong-In, eager to bridge that distance as quickly as possible to avoid his wider spread attacks. Jong-In however, fired repetitively, sending you on a run around in the arena.

On another note, not only could you present these gates for teleportation and switching, you could hide them too.

Hence why your perception was so high.

Now, as a mage type, your strength was nothing to brag about, while you could fight in close combat as an S-Rank, your overall strength still lied in distance or evasion. Your natural skills lied in more with your agility and perception, the other areas could use work.

Jinwoo preferred it that way. Because then, you were weaker and you would have to rely on him more for your survival. Your fierce independence was nothing to shake a stick at, but it proved more of a hindrance when it came to your relationship with Jinwoo. Yes, it was developing, albeit slowly, into a relationship. Just a strained one.

You most probably took that frustration out in your training, Jinwoo saw the determination across your face and it must have spurred you on after your close call with Jong-In’s fire spear. It seemingly burned you upon contact that was barely there as it whizzed past, and what damage resulted, faded away in a blink.

That was your secondary ability. Eye’s handmaiden. Solely for your own gain and that fact did not pass you as a healing mage. A being that drained significant mana when summoned upon instinct, you barely registered it, its presence merely as a passive outsider until the battle ended and you no longer took damage.

The summoned being healed you constantly, it could not be destroyed and would withstand even Jinwoo’s attacks, its sole purpose to serve you blindly.

Jong-In threw more fire and Jinwoo noticed the smoke screen, because as the fire and destruction came away from the essence stone walls in the corner of the training room, you were gone.

Disappeared.

Vanished from thin air that even Jinwoo’s perception couldn’t locate you.

Until a hole in the wall appeared, its darkened mass sparkling like a million stars in the night sky from inside like a vortex. Like a sheet of paper, it was flat and non-existent. But it was there. Jong-In noticed and acted on instinct, launching his spear right through until it shot back out from across the room and lodged in the ceiling at speed. It vibrated, shaking from side to side at the raw power behind his throw.

Yet you did not emerge with a hole through you, Eye’s Handmaiden remained stagnant on the side lines, keeping its humanoid arms taught by its side and casted no spells to your health.

Then, you cropped in view, right behind Jong-In and tapped him on the shoulder.

Ma gasped with an exclamation that Jinwoo would describe as a child on his birthday. “Woah! She got him- she got him… That was slick!”

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Beak crossed his arms with a pleased grin. “She’s improved…”

You tapped Jong-In on the shoulder which made him turn, revealing your path to victory right on his back.

So that pat on his back was a diversion for placing Royal’s Gatekeeper in a place she could secure the flag. Impressive. 

Baek wandered over to Jinwoo with his finger quizzically on his chin. “I never knew she could place that on living things, she really has improved… Hey, Jinwoo? How’s things going with you two? I hear the association is riding your asses right now.”

Ma came over to join and stick his nose in things as Jinwoo tensed up under his ginormous hand on his shoulder. “Probably why she’s been trainin’ so hard. That’s a lotta pressure for you two.”

“I think we’ll be alright, these things just take time, right?”

Baek shrugged with indifference, Ma chuckled and watched you conversing with Jong-in. “I heard that- what’s that sayin’ the one about Rome? I was never built or somethin’."

“It's Rome wasn’t built in a day, Dongwook.”

“Yeah, that’s it!”

Well, Jinwoo wanted it built in a day, with his abilities, his shadows could build an entire city in a day for sure. While on that thought, he never took his eyes off of you, smiling away at something Jong-In said and waving him off like you were trying for a baby with him and not Jinwoo. 

Just the thought made his blood boil and hiss under his skin. He hoped that your frustration still existed, because he was getting rough tonight. Jinwoo ensured it. And if you weren’t flustered enough by the time you reached the apartment, he’d find a way to get a rise out of you and expose that bratty attitude come the drive home after their invitation to a dinner hosted by Chairman Go.

“I guess so… Well, I’ll be going now, we have plenty to do before the association dinner tonight.” Jinwoo left with his hands in his pockets and stepped away.

“Sure thing! See you then!”

“Hold on, Jinwoo. I’ll walk you down.” Baek followed him off of the viewing platform with his hands tucked into his pockets and the world on his shoulders. “Look… I know this isn’t my place, but I wanted to ask you how things are really going?”

“Hm?”

“Things might look dandy on the outside, but things have gotten pretty dark the last two months. There’s been a lot of facade going on around here to show the Chairman we’re all on board with this even though we’re not.” He let your name slip from his lips. “And she’s a good person and she’s never been his riled up. Things are pressured and I wanted to let you know, I’m here if you need anything. I know what the association can be like at the best times, so when shit like this crops up, I can only imagine what you two are going through.”

Jinwoo was having the time of his life, and you’d come around to it eventually. Even if it was ‘just sex’ to you right now. But Jinwoo knew different and Baek sticking his oar in it shot up his hackles and they were pointing right at his idiotic face.

Though, Jinwoo wasn’t idiotic, he knew when to pick his fights coming from where he did. This was not one to get hung up on, not when you were waiting by the entrance to go home.

“Thanks, uh… it’s been difficult, but we’re both doing our part. I appreciate the sentiment- anyway, gotta go, I have things to do. See you tonight.”

“...Sure thing.” He wasn’t convinced, yet Jinwoo didn’t care.

His frustration riled him up enough through the day that he could have jumped in, dominated a dungeon and the rewards of levelling up still wouldn’t have satisfied him. His mind barely kept on the road and spoke no further in the car with you. You did not utter one word either. Even on the way up to the apartment, you walked two steps ahead like Jinwoo was a stranger to you

Well… That won’t do. As soon as you could step foot over that threshold, Jinwo would do all sorts of filthy things to you and he’d hear nothing about it. It’s just how things went for the last week, and secretly, he loved it. Craved it. Fantasised more about it which got him hard more times than he would admit out loud.

Almost there, and he’d fuck you angrily in to submission.

Almost, yet nothing close. Woo Jin-chul stood by the front door, glaring at Jinwoo down the hallway. “Good evening Hunter Sung.” He addressed you second.

“Why are you here?” You said. “We had the call with the association this morning, if you’ve come to lecture us, we already had both barrels this morning.”

You shot inside and left the door open for him anyway, Jinwoo followed in last and left the door to depressingly click with awkward silence.

Woo Jin-chul leant against the kitchen counter and cleaned his sunglasses absentmindedly. “I’m here on informal circumstances, I’m giving you a head’s up, nothing more. So I suggest you take the advice if you want this to work out.”

What could that be? If he’s made an unofficial visit, then the Chairman doesn’t know. 

“What advice?” Jinwoo could tell you were tired from the way you were rubbing your eye. “We have this dinner to go to tonight, for Hae-In’s announcement. There’s alot to prepare before we go.”

“I’m well aware of your dinner, I’ll be attending along with the Chairman and it hasn’t gone unnoticed how distant you two are, so I suggest you use tonight as a way to get back into the association’s good graces.” Woo Jin-chul held out each finger as he listed the rules off. “No drinking, no murderous glares and certainly no eating irresponsibly… you have the nutrition pack we gave you. Stick to it. As for the do’s, at least look somewhat happy, it makes for a dull room otherwise. Keep public displays of affection to a minimum, this is Hunter Choi and Cha’s night. Though ensure the chairman is watching when you do decide to get appropriately intimate. He will be watching.” 

You huffed and slouched, taking a glass from the cupboard to drink from. “When did this programme get political? We’re doing everything we can, I came off my pill not long before we started this, it can take up to a year, what’s the rush? We have to wait years before we see any results anyway- I don’t get it? All you’re doing is putting pressure on us- on me.” 

A year? Jinwoo stared at his system screen in his periphery, one month left and he’d run out of time on the other end. It wasn’t that he couldn’t withstand the penalty, he just couldn’t be asked to. No way could he wait an entire year before getting you pregnant. He was already going out of his mind with this distance with nothing to show for it except great sex. He wanted to breed you so desperately, it ached, hurt his very being that out of all the things he could do, putting a baby in you was just something he was failing at.

No amount of leveling up or training could speed the process up or increase the likelihood. It just had to happen on its own and that was the frustrating part.

“How often are you part taking in intercourse?”

You almost spat water all over Woo Jin-chul. “W-what?! Why would you ask that?”

“I must enquire so I can give you more customized advice.”

“Jinwoo…” Your eyes were so wide and adoring when you were borderline pissed off. “Say something- no way we’re telling him that.”

He didn’t care who he told, preferably Jong-In to rub it in his face. But with Woo Jin-chul, there was a possibility for something in return. 

No… no way could I be that lucky…

“Maybe we should hear him out- hold on.” His hands went up in defense. “It could get the association off our backs for a little while, right?”

When you didn’t respond, burying your face in your hands, Jinwoo took it as a cue to say out loud to the world how frequently the two of you had been fucking. “Three times a week. Like we were told at the start.”

“Is that true?”

You looked between the two men with flushed cheeks. “Yeah…”

“Then double it, preferably once a day, everyday. Starting from tonight. I trust it’ll help speed up the process, but if that fails, we’ll have to look at secondary options.”

“And what’s that?” You chased Woo Jin-chul towards the door as he opened it. “You can’t just say that and walk away.”

He sighed, slipping his sunglasses on over the threshold to the hallway. “We’ll have to look at pairing you both with someone else. Now that Hunter Cha is pregnant, the association has approved more Ranked hunters for the programme. So, if you want to skip more formalities and stick together, I suggest you do anything you can to get her pregnant, Hunter Sung…”

Jinwoo nodded and stood there in a state of shock as Woo Jinchul left and the door closed behind him. Another pairing was disastrous, downright wrong and bad and not an option.

Shit, how the hell could Jinwoo get himself out of this? He only just got you close to him. No fucking way would he let you go and if he had to take on the Chairman himself, he’d make him disappear into blood mist before he let himself slip from the lulling confines of the space between your legs.

How on earth was he going to sit across the table from that man who was set on ripping you away from him?

Self restraint. That’s how, though Jinwoo barely had much when it came to you.

He was fucking you tonight, and his load better take.

Part 3 <- Part 4 -> Part 5

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DISCLAIMER - Crossposted from my AO3 - I do not own any of the characters or anything from the anime or manhwa. This is a work of fan fiction and is absolutely not representative of the views or intentions of the original creator(s).

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[mandoalorian]

all that we carry [bucky barnes x f!reader]

pairing: new avenger!bucky x f!reader

synopsis: tensions explode after a devastating revelation. emotions surge, powers spiral, and two people collide in the aftermath of everything they thought they knew. in the quiet that follows, something new begins to take root — fragile, charged, and impossible to ignore.

word count: 7400

rating/warnings: 18+ explicit content, mentions of torture, kidnapping, allusions to abuse from reader's ex boyfriend, both physical and psychological, canon typical violence, bucky's void rooms, mentions of the death of family member, overall a very dark chapter but i promise the ending makes it worth it. <3 thunderbolts* spoilers of course.

masterlist

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The Manhattan sky was low and sullen, clouds hanging heavy with a steady drizzle that soaked the city’s edges in cold gray. Rain glinted off sidewalks and gutters, off the sleek metal of passing cars and the glass facades of buildings. The world felt muffled, damp, and blurred—like someone had pressed a trembling hand over the lens of reality.

Bucky walked with his hands shoved deep into his coat pockets, shoulders hunched beneath the weight of memory and something more dangerous—want. The cold didn’t touch him. He’d lived through worse. But the memory of you—pressed against him in the dark, barely a breath between your thighs and his hips—that clung to him like the heat of summer.

His knuckles still ached from the way he’d clenched his fists in that goddamn closet. Your warmth had been branded onto him—your soft breath against his collarbone, your bare thighs brushing against his jeans, the tension so sharp it had felt like a live wire between your bodies. He could still smell your skin, clean and sweet from the shower, laced faintly with the fabric of your hoodie.

It was driving him mad.

He kept walking. Shoulders tense beneath his dark jacket, boots striking the slick sidewalk with purpose he didn’t actually feel. He just needed to move. Put distance between himself and the closet. Between himself and you.

God, you were everywhere. The feel of your breath ghosting against his neck, your legs spread just slightly for him as if your body trusted him more than your words ever would. Your hoodie had ridden up when you shifted, revealing bare skin and nothing but thin shorts beneath—and fuck, he’d felt it. Felt you. Warm and soft against his jeans, against his thigh, and it had taken everything in him not to lose control.

But he couldn’t not touch you. Not when the space had vanished between your bodies. Not when your lips had parted like you wanted to say something else—something he wasn’t ready to hear.

So he’d left. Because staying meant falling.

And he’d been doing too much of that lately.

A voice cracked through the sound of rainfall behind him.

“Bucky!”

He flinched.

Your voice. He knew it like a prayer, like a warning. It carried over the hum of traffic and the splash of tires cutting through puddles, frayed with something broken—confusion? Hurt?

Was it really you? Or was he just that haunted by you, he was imagining things. 

He didn’t stop. His jaw locked. His steps didn’t falter.

“Bucky, wait!”

No, it was real. It was true. It was you. 

Every part of him screamed to look back. But he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Because if he did… he might’ve kissed you. And if he kissed you, he wouldn’t survive what came next.

He kept walking.

Even when your voice stopped. Even when silence fell hard and sudden behind him. Only then did he glance back over his shoulder.

You weren’t there.

Not on the sidewalk. Not beneath the awning. Not anywhere. Just strangers. Just headlights. Just rain.

And a sick feeling in his gut that something had just gone terribly wrong. Bucky knew to trust his instincts and something was telling him that was something was seriously wrong; something shifted in his chest. Cold. Sharp. It wasn’t panic — not exactly. Panic was messy, loud. This was quieter. A drop in temperature. A tightening of muscle and mind.

It was the part of him that had never left the Winter Soldier.

He could track your phone— but no, he doesn’t do that anymore. That wasn’t him anymore. 

But… you could be in danger. 

Fuck it. He doubled back immediately, storming down the slick Manhattan sidewalk, eyes scanning every corner, every alley, every figure under an umbrella. Nothing. He rounded the block again, faster this time. No sign of you. Not your voice. Not your scent.

A sick part of him thought—Maybe she just left. Maybe she went home, back to Sam. 

But he knew better.

Bucky stopped under the weak glow of a streetlamp, the rain soaking through the cotton of his shirt, clinging to the metal of his arm. He stilled his breath. Closed his eyes.

Focus.

Filter out the chaos.

Find her.

He inhaled. Deep and slow.

The scent of the city was everywhere—car exhaust, wet concrete, late-night street food grease, perfume trails from strangers. But beneath it all—there. The faintest echo of your skin. Vanilla and warmth. That subtle electric hum he’d grown attuned to from standing too close too many times.

He opened his eyes. Let instinct take over.

His body moved before his mind caught up. Feet pounding pavement, following the trace, the gut feeling, the pull. His training reactivated like muscle memory—check shadows, note every exit, every height advantage. The city blurred around him. Neon bled through the mist.

Down a side street. Past a flickering “open” sign. Into a narrow alleyway where the scent sharpened—and then—

He stopped dead.

There was a smear on the wall. Red. Faint, nearly washed away by the rain. Too faint for the average eye.

But not for him.

His stomach dropped.

A set of footprints dragged off the sidewalk into the alley—then stopped. Tires. A black smear of rubber.

They took her in a car.

His hands curled into fists. He didn’t realize how tight until he felt the crunch of metal beneath his vibranium fingers.

“Shit,” he muttered. Turned in a full circle. Think. Think. The car had stopped here, but not for long.

Then he noticed it—a paper taped lazily to the side of a lamppost, half torn and waterlogged. An address. Scribbled in red ink.

501 Lenox.

Top Floor.

His eyes narrowed. A message. A trap. He didn’t care. He was already running. Bucky knew to be cautious, which is why he sent his coordinates to Yelena. That was the benefit of having a team now; they’d always have Bucky’s back, and by extension, they’d have your back too.

────✪────

Your skin felt damp and sticky against the duct tape binding your wrists. Your ankles were taped too. Same with your mouth. The chair beneath you creaked every time you shifted, but the legs didn’t move. They were bolted to the floor.

Of course they were.

You recognised the small room. Your old apartment, where you lived with Shane. Rotten floorboards. Old water stains on the ceiling. The air smelled like mildew and something sharper—cologne, faint but sour. Your breathing was shallow through your nose.

You wanted to panic. You wanted to scream so loud your own ears would ring. But you’d been through this before. You knew what panic did. It made you careless. Slow. So instead, you stared straight ahead, eyes locked on the man seated in front of you.

Shane.

Your heart stuttered.

Same smug grin. Same slicked-back hair. He looked wiry and depraved. Like something hungry. But his eyes hadn’t changed since the last time you saw him. Still flat. Still dead.

“Well,” he said, voice almost soft. “Look what I caught.”

You didn’t flinch. Not visibly. Not even when he crouched to your level and tilted his head, studying you like you were some museum exhibit gathering dust.

“Still fiery, huh?” he murmured. His breath smelled like whiskey. “Bet your little Avenger boyfriend doesn’t know what you looked like crying on my kitchen floor.”

What…? Boyfriend? He didn’t mean…

You glared at him.

He grinned wider.

“I couldn’t believe it when I saw it on the news. That Valentina woman talking about you, an Avenger. I couldn’t believe it. How could someone so reckless and dangerous be a hero? Unless, you’re hiding it from them… what you’re capable of. All you ever do is hurt people.”

You wanted to scream, but the cloth in your mouth stopped you. You choked around it, tears spilling from your eyes.

“It’s been, what, two weeks? You’ve been running for a long time, babe,” he said, brushing a damp strand of hair off your forehead with a fingertip. “But you know what they say...”

He leaned in close, whispering now. His lips nearly brushed your ear.

“Can’t run forever.”

You jerked away from him, chair scraping loudly—but you had nowhere to go. The tape cut into your wrists. Your pulse raced. Your legs trembled.

You thought of Bucky.

His scent. His voice. His warmth in that closet, all heat and danger.

And he was the one who left you the flowers; not Sam. Him. Your Bucky. 

And somehow, amidst all of this, it brought you comfort. 

You thought of the way he’d looked at you like you were the only thing in the world. Like your anger mattered. Like your silence hurt.

He’s not coming, some voice whispered in your head. He ignored you.

But your heart—your heart didn’t believe that.

And then—

A sound.

Muffled. Deep.

A low crash from outside. Like a boot against the door. Like an arm was punching it’s way in. Loud and relentless.

Shane rose to his feet slowly, brow furrowing. “Looks like he came. Stay here,” he muttered, like you had a choice.

Bucky tried the handle. Locked. Of course.

Good.

He took a half step back. Inhaled once.

And drove his foot through the wood.

The door splintered on impact, cracking at the hinges like thunder. Bucky charged in, eyes blazing, the feral edge of the Winter Soldier programming bleeding through his stoic mask. The hallway reeked of stale beer and cigarette ash. Every nerve in his body was screaming for motion—movement—action.

He heard a muffled sound. A whimper. You.

His head snapped left. One door at the end of the hall. Closed, but not for long. Bucky didn’t knock. Didn’t pause.

His metal fist plowed through it like paper. The impact echoed as shards of the door fell to the floor, and he stepped into a nightmare. Wood splinters burst across the floor. Rain misted into the room like smoke.

You were tied to a chair.

Gagged.

Eyes wide and glassy, drenched in tears, lips trembling around the cloth in your mouth. Your hoodie was askew, your wrists raw from struggling. Your whole body trembled.

He didn’t remember crossing the room.

He just moved.

And then Shane was on him.

Your ex-boyfriend lunged out of the shadows, fists flying, spitting something like a laugh—but Bucky barely registered it. The punch landed against his shoulder like a mosquito bite, and he threw Shane off with a single swing.

Shane lunged at him again—but it wasn’t a fight.

It was a demolition.

A grunt, a punch to the ribs, a metallic hiss of Bucky’s arm catching Shane’s wrist mid-swing. You saw Shane’s mouth twist into something ugly before Bucky slammed him against the wall with a sound that cracked like thunder.

Again. And again.

Bucky moved like a machine and Shane crumpled to the floor.

“No one touches her,” Bucky snarled, voice low and guttural.

The fight was fast. Brutal. Efficient. Winter Soldier training took over—he didn’t even realise how hard he was hitting until Shane was on the floor, coughing up blood, twitching, unconscious or close to it.

Bucky stood over him, chest heaving.

You didn’t know if Shane was alive.

Horror swelled through your veins. The last time you seen Bucky move like that was…

Bucky turned to you slowly, blinking the blood and rain from his eyes. “It’s okay,” he breathed. “I got you.”

You felt sick. Your heart ached. Everything hurt. 

He knelt, fingers moving fast to untie the tape at your ankles, then your wrists. You felt every brush of his skin like lightning, like a thunderbolt. Too much. Too fast.

The moment your hands were free, you surged forward—not into his arms, but into him.

You hit him. Screaming.

He caught you, staggered, trying to hold on—but you didn’t want him to.

“Why do you always have to ruin everything?” you shouted, your voice hoarse from screaming behind the gag.

His hands gripped your arms, trying to steady your erratic swings. “What are you—?”

You shoved at his chest, fists pounding, but he didn’t flinch and that only enraged you more. “Why do you always have to kill everyone I love?!”

Bucky’s ocean blue eyes widened in some feeling you couldn’t quite name. Something between confusion and awareness. Like he knew more than he was letting on. You could see through him. 

“What?” he rasped, stunned.

You didn’t love Shane, but maybe once upon a time you did. Or you thought you did. The five year relationship was definitive in the person you had become, and although Shane treated you awful, that didn’t mean there wasn’t a space in your heart for him. Albeit, a twisted and cruel space that you were waiting for someone else to fill. 

Tears burned down your cheeks. Your fists kept swinging, wild and uncontrolled, slamming against him with every word. Your finger nails pressed into your skin and if you weren’t so blinded by hate and hurt and terror, you might have noticed the way they cut into your palms. 

“Do you even remember him? Do you? Do you even know what you took from me?”

Bucky said your name, gently now, trying to reach you—but you flinched.

Bob and the others burst into the room behind you—Alexei, John, Ava, Yelena. Voices all blending together. They’d received your coordinates from Bucky, they’d come to help.

But they froze when they saw you pinning Bucky to the hardwood floor. Bob’s jaw went slack.

“Uh oh,” he said awkwardly. “I may have forgotten to mention something.”

“Bob… do you know why Y/N is attacking Bucky?” Yelena asked slowly, bringing her hands slowly to her holster; blue eyes locked onto the way you were slamming your fists into Bucky’s chest.

Bob winced. “I may have tapped into her void when she was in the medbay. I know… I know I shouldn’t do that anymore but I got curious about her and—“

You couldn’t even hear Bob anymore. You didn’t care that you felt exploited, that he’d seen your greatest traumas while you were unconscious. Because right now you had The Winter Soldier at your fingertips. Finally. 

You could do it, you could hurt him. Choke him. Suffocate him. Kill him. No mercy, no remorse. 

You could do it. You were going to do it. 

“I hate you, I hate you so much.” you cried, hot tears spilling down your cheeks and dropping onto his face as you straddled him. You had him pinned down to the floor and your aura burned hot with rage. It was like the room was on fire, invisible smoke. Only you could feel it. 

Bucky’s voice cracked. “Who did I take from you?” His blue eyes were wide with guilt. “Tell me, and I’ll know. Who was it?”

You stared at him, throat raw. Voice small.

The memory repeated in your head. The Winter Soldier. Your brother’s birthday party. The gunshots. The bodies. Your blood ran cold and you looked him in the eye, fingers curled around the column of his neck. 

“My brother.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. A sacred confession that only Bucky could hear.

Everything stopped.

Your aura surged—bright, blinding, overwhelming. The temperature in the room shot up ten degrees. Bucky looked like he couldn’t breathe.

It surged from your chest like a sun bursting free, white-hot and radiant, expanding in all directions like a supernova wrapped in grief and fury. A blinding light cracked across your skin, veins glowing. Your power — usually warm, intuitive, soft — was now unstable. Wild. Dangerous.

The team reacted instantly.

“She’s losing control!” John shouted, sheilding of the team behind him from the wisps and sparks that flew about.

“Lena—now!” Alexei barked, launching forward to grab your wrists before you could lash out.

Yelena hesitated for half a second — her heart breaking at the look on your face — before she surged forward, tackling you at the waist with a force meant to pin, not harm. But even with their combined weight, you were too strong. The energy bursting off you knocked them both back like a wave, and you dropped to your knees, a sob tearing from your throat.

“You don’t understand!” you screamed, voice echoing through the storm around you. “He killed him—he killed—!”

Bucky was already there, arms wide, stepping toward you despite the risk. He stepped into the danger knowing it could kill him, but he didn’t care, because maybe that’s what he deserved. His voice was raw.

“I remember him,” He said plainly, with no fear for you. “Twenty years ago, right? I was sent to kill Senator Harold Myles by HYDRA: infiltrate, assassinate, destabilise. Intel said he’d be at some kid’s birthday party. Only I didn’t kill him, I didn’t complete my mission. I killed your brother instead. He got in my way and he died a hero. But you, you killed everyone else in that room. The Senator and your parents and— I escaped just in time but you— oh, I remember.”

How? How was that possible? You’d read about the Winter Soldier in museums and books, how he regularly had his memory wiped and his brain was reconditioned. How could he remember that in such vivid detail? How did he know?

“I have nightmares,” Bucky bit out, almost like he could read your mind. “And I remember this,” he gestured around at your aura spitting agressively around you. Chaos magic. “Your powers. Your anger. The chaos.”

God, he wasn’t even asking for forgiveness. And you burned.

The light around you exploded. Bucky stumbled back, shielding his eyes.

“She’s gonna blow the whole building down!” Ava shouted from behind.

That’s when Bob stepped forward.

Quiet. Calm. Unshaken.

His blue eyes locked onto you, then to Bucky. And then, with something close to regret in his voice, he said, “This won’t ever end. You’ll never understand each other… not unless you see.”

He knelt down between you, the chaos swirling around him like he wasn’t even touched by it. His hands reached out — one to your wrist, one to Bucky’s shoulder — and his voice dropped into a tone that reverberated deeper than sound.

“Let me show you his truth.”

You couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. The moment Bob’s fingers connected with your skin, the storm slowed, your aura froze in midair, and time folded inward like collapsing paper.

Bucky tried to resist. “No—Bob, don’t—she doesn’t need to see that.”

“She has to,” Bob said. “And so do you.”

The light twisted. The room disappeared.

And in a breathless instant—

—You were somewhere else.

As the void peeled open, color began to bleed into the world like water seeping into old paper. The shift was subtle at first—a breath of warmth, the golden hue of sunlight curling through gauzy kitchen curtains, the low tick of a clock echoing down a long hallway. Then came the smell: cinnamon, vanilla, something gently burning. Flour hung in the air like powdered light.

The room materialised into a pristine kitchen—green-trimmed cabinets, polished counters, and a cast iron stove glowing faintly red from recent use. A pie cooled on the windowsill, half-forgotten. The air was thick with comfort, nostalgia. And at the centre of it all was a young boy with flour-dusted hair and sleeves rolled to his elbows.

James Buchanan Barnes. No older than twelve.

He stood at the counter, carefully cracking eggs into a bowl. His movements were precise but not mechanical—there was care in each action, the kind only a child trying to impress someone he loves would show. Beside him stood a little girl on a stool, no more than six or seven, watching him with wide eyes. Rebecca Barnes.

Her hair was tied up with a blue ribbon, curls bouncing as she stirred a wooden spoon through batter with unnecessary vigor. She was already a mess—flour smudged across her cheeks, a glob of icing on her chin—and she was grinning like she had no idea the world could ever be cruel.

“Becca,” Bucky said with a low chuckle, taking the spoon from her hand before she launched batter onto the ceiling. “We’re baking a cake, not building a snow fort.”

“You said I could help,” she protested, crossing her arms. Her voice was small but fierce.

“And you are,” he said, dipping a finger into the bowl and booping her nose with it. “You’re the taste-tester.”

She squealed and tried to swat him away. He caught her easily, wrapping his arms around her tiny frame and spinning her in a slow circle. Her laughter rang out like a bell, echoing through the space.

From your position in the void, you felt your chest tighten. There was so much life here. So much love. And underneath it all, the faint, trembling thread of a boy trying to keep a fragile world intact.

The real Bucky—your Bucky—stood off to the side of the room, barely breathing. He didn’t look at the scene, didn’t let his eyes touch the version of himself that had once smiled like this. His gaze flicked to corners, behind cabinets, anywhere a reflective surface might hide. You watched his jaw clench as he scanned the walls.

“There’s nothing,” he muttered. “No glass, no silver, no way out. Fucking Bob. He knew this one would lock me in.”

You didn’t speak. Couldn’t. The weight of the scene anchored you in place.

Suddenly, the distant sound of a knock broke the warmth like a stone through glass.

It was polite—three gentle raps on the front door—but the silence that followed was immediate, unnatural. Young Bucky paused mid-motion, a spoon of frosting suspended in the air.

He glanced toward the hallway, then looked at his sister. “Keep mixing,” he said. “I’ll get it.”

You followed him as he crossed through the old house, his bare feet soft against hardwood floors that had seen generations of Barnes before him. The hall was long and cool, lined with photographs in gilded frames. His father’s hat hung on a brass hook. A walking stick leaned beside it.

The moment his mother opened the door, the entire room shifted.

She didn’t scream—not at first. It was a stifled, choking gasp, the kind that sounded more like someone trying not to drown. A man in uniform stood on the stoop, cap in hand, mouth tight with apology. He didn’t need to say a word.

Bucky's mother clutched the letter like it had burned her. Her knees buckled.

And then came the wail.

It started low in her chest, a sound so full of grief it seemed to shake the walls. She fell to the floor with the letter crumpled in her fist, rocking forward as she sobbed into the hardwood, her voice raw with disbelief.

“No,” she whispered. “No, George. No—please, no—”

The boy stared at her. His eyes, so full of sunlight in the kitchen, had dimmed into something hollow. He dropped to his knees beside her, gripping her shoulders, trying to shake her back to sanity.

“Mama, what is it? What’s wrong? What happened?”

But she didn’t answer. Couldn’t. She could only cry, louder now, so much louder, like grief was tearing itself from her body piece by piece.

The telegram slipped from her hand and fluttered to the floor.

You saw the words from where you stood:

We regret to inform you that Mr. George Barnes was killed in action.

The boy’s breath caught in his throat. He didn’t cry. He didn’t scream. He just… stopped.

For a second, he didn’t move at all. Then he reached forward and closed his mother’s fingers back over the letter like he didn’t want Rebecca to see it. His own face was pale, mouth drawn into a line.

From the kitchen, her voice echoed: “Jamie? Where are you?”

You turned, instinctively stepping into the hallway—but the real Bucky didn’t follow. He remained rooted at the far end of the void, shoulders stiff, gaze nailed to the ceiling.

“I can’t watch this again,” he said hoarsely. “Not this one.”

He pressed his hand against the wall, as if hoping it would turn to glass under his touch. When it didn’t, he balled his fist and struck it, once, hard. The impact echoed like a gunshot.

You looked back into the kitchen. Young Bucky had returned.

He didn’t tell his sister. He didn’t say a word about the letter or the wailing coming from the hallway. He simply smiled—faint, mechanical—and lifted her off the stool.

“We’ll finish later, Becca,” he said, brushing flour from her cheek with a gentleness that almost made you cry. “C’mon. Let’s go read by the window, yeah?”

“Is Mama okay?” she asked, clutching his sleeve.

“She’s just tired.”

He turned her face away from the hallway as they passed, shielding her with his body. Protecting her. Bearing it all alone.

You watched as he settled her into an armchair and draped a blanket over her lap, brushing her hair back with the same tenderness you'd seen in the kitchen.

And then you heard him whisper something she couldn’t hear:

“I’ll take care of you. I swear.”

You couldn’t speak. Your throat was full of ash and memory.

In this room you saw exactly where the fracture had begun. Not in Hydra’s hands. Not on a battlefield. But here, in a Brooklyn brownstone filled with sunlight and the sudden, suffocating weight of death.

A boy lost his father.

And a soldier was born.

Bucky punched through the wall of his childhood home, and it was a rush of cold air that hit you first.

You’re no longer in the quiet halls of a Brooklyn brownstone. You’re somewhere high up — unnaturally high — your boots scraping metal as snow whips through the air. A train screams along the side of a mountain, rattling with speed. It’s World War II. You can feel it in your bones, the tension, the urgency, the pounding of boots, gunfire in the distance.

Then it happens.

You see him — Bucky — younger, uniformed, breathing hard, fighting alongside Steve. There’s chaos in every corner, Hydra soldiers screaming, the train rattling like it’s about to collapse into the abyss.

Then a shot — a scream — and the metal gives way.

Bucky falls.

You can’t breathe as you watch him plunge into white nothingness. His body, flailing, disappears into the chasm below. The void around you goes deathly silent. No wind. No motion. Just stillness.

And then you’re somewhere else.

A dimly lit Hydra bunker. Metal walls, the sickly green hue of fluorescent lighting, instruments humming ominously. And there he is — again.

Only now he’s barely conscious, strapped to a gurney, half-dead and bloodied. His left arm is mangled beyond recognition, dangling by torn muscle and bone. His breathing is shallow. There’s dried blood crusting the corners of his mouth. His eyes flutter open for brief seconds at a time — confused, terrified.

You flinch as footsteps echo through the hallway. Then comes Arnim Zola. Cold. Clinical. Cheerful in the most perverse way.

“Subject seventy-two… has survived.”

Technicians swarm around Bucky like vultures, murmuring in German, prepping tools — saws, needles, surgical clamps. Bucky tries to speak but only lets out a weak croak.

They cut away what remains of his arm.

He screams. You flinch.

You take a step forward, but the void won’t let you move fast enough. His body jerks under the restraints as the instruments dig into him — not to heal, but to remake. To reforge.

And then the prosthetic — brutal, early, grotesque. A crude, gleaming piece of Hydra engineering is fused into the meat of his shoulder. The smell of burning flesh hits you, even though you know none of this is real. The room fills with Bucky’s agonized screams — real, broken, animal.

You lurch forward without thinking. You run, your palms hitting Zola’s chest with a cry, trying to shove him away, to stop him, to protect Bucky.

But the moment your hand touches him — the entire scene resets.

A blink.

You're back in the hallway again, the screams starting over. The same motion. The same pain. The same helplessness.

This time, you scream too.

You press your hands over your ears, eyes squeezed shut, but it doesn’t help. You feel everything — the terror in his voice, the heat of the machines, the vibration of the saw.

Across the room, present-day Bucky stands with his jaw clenched, staring at the far wall, his chest rising and falling too fast. He won’t look at you. Won’t look at the boy on the table.

His hands curl into fists, metal and flesh both. There are tears threatening in his eyes — not because he forgot, but because he remembers too well.

You know now that this wasn’t a myth or a story or a title like “Winter Soldier.” This was pain, carved into him. This was theft — of body, of mind, of soul.

And you were being made to understand every second of it.

Until, temperature shifts again, and Bucky takes your hand, pulling you through into the next room.

From the sharp sterility of Hydra's laboratory to the deathless cold of Siberia, it hits your lungs like a slap — dry, iron-flecked, and bitter. You don't need to see the frost on the walls to know this place is a tomb. You can feel it. The walls hum with old power and darker history, locked behind steel and secrecy.

The room you’re standing in now is underground. No windows. No clocks. Just heavy concrete, reinforced doors, and flickering overhead bulbs that cast an endless gray.

A cryo-chamber sits at the center.

A human figure lies inside, entombed in cold mist and glass. Wires snake from ports in the wall to the chamber’s heart. Monitors beep. Then—

Gas hisses. Hydraulics shudder. The chamber exhales.

The fog parts slowly. Inside is Bucky — or what’s left of him.

His hair is longer now, matted to his forehead. He has a new arm — sleeker, deadlier. There’s no fear on his face, but that absence isn’t calm. It’s emptiness. His eyes are void of thought, of warmth, of anything that once made him James Buchanan Barnes.

You feel it before you realise it: your fingers trembling. There’s a low, deep ache rising in your chest, panic tightening your throat.

Hydra handlers enter, barking commands in Russian. You don’t understand all of it, but some of the words are horrifyingly clear.

A man in a long coat stands before him with a small red book. He opens it carefully, reverently, like scripture. Then, he reads.

“Longing.” “Rusted.” “Furnace.” “Daybreak.” “Seventeen.” “Benign.” “Nine.” “Homecoming.” “One.” “Freight car.”

Each word hits Bucky like a hammer. You can see it in the twitch of his fingers, the shift in his breath, the flicker behind his eyes as something inside him breaks loose — not once, but over and over again. Until he is no longer a man at all.

He steps out of the cryo-chamber barefoot, shirtless, cold steam rolling off his skin. They don't offer him clothes. Don’t ask if he’s alright. He wouldn’t respond anyway.

He stands still, awaiting orders.

“Target: Vasily Karpov. Eliminate. Clean exit.”

Bucky nods once. The door is opened. And like a phantom, he moves. Swift. Silent. Machine.

You turn your head just in time to see it — the assassination. Clean. Efficient. Unemotional. You don’t even realise you’re crying until the warmth of a tear hits your cold skin.

You look over your shoulder — present-day Bucky is still here. Still watching. Except he isn’t. His eyes are locked on a metal pipe in the ceiling, some warped, imperfect reflection catching his focus like a life raft. His jaw is clenched. His throat bobs with a swallow he never quite finishes.

He looks like he might break in half.

When the mission ends, Bucky is returned like a borrowed weapon. They wipe his memory with pain — electrodes to the skull, ice-pick machinery digging into his brainstem. His screams echo off the steel. His body jerks. And then, silence. The void takes him again.

You gasp. You fall to your knees. There’s too much grief. Too much horror. Too much emptiness.

He was alive. He was in there, and no one ever looked for him. No one saved him. They just rewired him, rewound him, replayed him.

And they called it protocol.

You barely have time to brace yourself before the void cracks open again — this time without warning. There’s no temperature shift, no gradual dissolve. Just a sudden and violent pull, and then—

Water.

It’s all around you. Slamming against a helicarrier's metal hull. Dark skies above, lightning splitting them in violent stutters. You land with a jolt on a crumpled, scorched floor of what must’ve once been a command center. Sparks burst from broken wires overhead. The smell of ozone and blood is thick in the air.

And there — in the middle of the wreckage — they’re fighting.

Steve Rogers and the Winter Soldier.

Not Bucky. Not the man you almost kissed in the closet, who looked at you like you were the first bit of light after a lifetime of shadow. No, this is him — the Weapon. The Asset.

Eyes cold. Fists unrelenting. Blood dripping from his lip. Expression unreadable.

Steve is holding his shield one-handed, breathing hard, body broken, refusing to fight back. “You’re my friend.”

“You’re my mission,” Bucky retorts, before screaming in anguish and diving onto Steve. He throws punches, groaning and yelling with every twist of his fist, like it pained him. The Winter Soldier’s movements were no longer mechanical, but rather coming from a raw place that was locked away deep inside of him. The programmed need to comply with orders was fighting with the ocean blue eyes of his childhood best friend. 

“Then finish it.” Steve says. His voice is steady, but wrecked. “Because I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.”

Everything stops.

You don’t realise you’re holding your breath until your lungs burn. Bucky’s expression flickers — barely. The microsecond of confusion. Of doubt. The slow breaking-apart of all the walls that had been built around his mind.

The scene doesn’t cut away. You see it all. How Bucky’s arm shakes. How his mouth tightens. But when he looks down at Steve, there’s something human again in his eyes.

And then — in a moment that feels like time itself cracking — he lowers his fist.

They are brothers tangled in fate. The helicarrier groans beneath them. Explosions rattle the metal. They tumble, crash. Steve falls — hard — through the broken glass and into the icy river below.

You scream before you can stop yourself.

But you aren’t the only one reacting.

Present-day Bucky stumbles back, shoulders heaving, eyes glassy. He’s trembling. The reflections in this room are distorted — shattered control panels, rippling water — and none are close enough to break. There’s nowhere for him to escape to. He’s trapped here, just as he was then.

He watches as his former self dives in after Steve. The water swallows them both.

And still, he dives.

Even when the programming should’ve made him leave. Even when every command screamed for him to walk away. Even when the Winter Soldier didn’t know why he was doing it.

He couldn’t leave Steve.

The screen shifts — another flicker of void. You see Bucky dragging Steve’s limp body from the riverbank. Cradling him. Staring down at his unconscious face with an expression that devastates you.

Recognition. Grief. Guilt. Love.

He knew. Even then.

He remembered.

Present-day Bucky sinks to the floor, jaw locked, eyes closed like he could shut it all out if he just clenched hard enough.

You take a step closer.

Your heart is hammering. Your hands shake. This wasn’t a villain. This wasn’t a monster. This was a boy stolen and reforged in fire, who still — through everything — remembered the people he loved.

You can feel it again: the grief in your chest. The heat of your aura, pulsing like a second heartbeat. Bucky doesn't move. Doesn’t speak. Just waits for the next horror to begin.

And you know, deep in your bones, it’s not over yet.

The shift into the next void room is soft. Almost gentle.

There’s no violent wind or flash of light. Just a fading of colours until the world bleeds into a grey-blue morning haze.

You find yourself standing at the edge of a forest clearing — somewhere quiet and green. Birds chirp lazily in the distance. A soft breeze rustles through the trees. Ahead, a time machine hums faintly, standing like a monument in the field, surrounded by the last of the old Avengers.

A younger Sam stands beside Bucky, both of them facing the platform as Bruce fiddles with the controls. Steve Rogers, dressed in his stealth suit, lifts the case of Infinity Stones. He smiles faintly.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” Steve raises his eyebrow.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you,” Bucky says, managing the ghost of a smirk.

You look to your side. Present-day Bucky is watching the scene unfold without a word. He stands stone-still, but his jaw is tight. Hands clenched into fists. You can see it now — the devastation blooming behind his eyes.

And then — just like that — he’s gone. A flash of white. A whisper in time.

Because he knew. Didn’t he?

Even then.

He knew Steve wasn’t coming back.

The group begins to panic — trying to recalibrate the platform, counting the seconds, calling for Steve through the earpieces. Sam’s voice rises, strained. Bruce looks confused.

But Bucky?

He just... watches the woods.

Not the platform.

The woods.

He knows.

And a moment later, when Sam notices the old man sitting quietly on a bench in the distance — when everyone else is stunned — Bucky doesn’t move. He stays still, as if frozen in that knowledge, the betrayal thick in his chest.

Steve had told him.

Or maybe he hadn’t. Maybe Bucky had just known.

Because the man who had always been by his side — through wars and pain and memory wiped nightmares — had chosen to leave him behind.

You can feel Bucky’s aura flicker beside you. The sadness in him is heavy, slow, old. A different kind of heartbreak than the others. Not violent. Not bloody.

Just lonely.

He steps forward in the memory, watching as Steve — aged and calm — hands the shield to Sam. You register the hush of it. The finality. The way Bucky looked away.

Not jealous. Not angry.

Just tired.

And quietly grieving.

Because Steve didn’t say goodbye to him, not really. Not the way he should have. Not after everything. Not after leaving Bucky to carry it all.

Your chest aches. You glance sideways to the present-day Bucky — he’s barely breathing, eyes locked on the younger version of himself, turning away before Steve and Sam even finish speaking.

The void doesn’t shift yet. It lingers here, like it wants you to feel it. All of it.

The way Bucky had spent his whole life being abandoned — first by war, then by Hydra, then by Steve.

Even love had left him.

And still, he stood tall.

Still, he chose the hard road.

He always did.

You reach out instinctively — not to touch, not yet — but the space between you pulses warm. His aura flares again, but faint, dim, like a heartbeat trying to hold on.

You swallow hard. There's so much left unsaid.

The world slammed back into place like the snap of a rubber band.

The cold, electric pull of the void vanished, and suddenly — you were back. Gasping. Shaking. Body soaked in sweat and light and grief.

The room was dim, barely lit by the broken overhead lamp swinging slightly on its hinge. Shane’s apartment — if you could call this crumbling, sour-smelling place that — was in chaos. The air was thick with the sharp scent of ozone, plaster dust, and scorched wood.

You blinked against the pounding in your head, then looked around.

Bodies were everywhere.

Ava slumped against the wall, smoke curling gently from her fingertips. John lay half-tangled in a chair, dazed but breathing. Alexei’s heavy frame was sprawled across the ruined coffee table, and even Yelena — always graceful, always ready — was groaning against the couch cushions.

All of them unconscious.

All from you.

Your aura had burst.

You had lost control.

And in the middle of it — on the wrecked floor with broken glass around him — was Bucky.

He hadn’t moved. Not once.

His head was lowered, metal hand braced against the floor, flesh hand pressed tight over his heart like it might stop it from shattering. He was breathing heavy and shallow, chest rising with effort. But it wasn’t pain that held him still.

It was vulnerability.

He was completely, utterly open. Every wall gone. Everything exposed. Like the void had ripped out his insides and left him bleeding on the floor — not from wounds, but from memory.

You felt the air shift around him. His aura was dim but visible. Still blue, still sad — but softer now, as if flickering toward acceptance. Guilt clung to him like smoke. But for once, it wasn’t fighting you.

It was just there.

And something inside you broke.

You crawled forward slowly. Your limbs trembled. Your hands were scraped raw. Your face streaked with tears that hadn’t stopped falling since the first void room — since that little boy in 1930s Brooklyn who just wanted to protect the people he loved.

Now here he was. Older. Weathered. Alone.

And still protecting.

You didn’t say anything.

Words were useless in that moment.

So instead — you reached for him. Your hand cupped his cheek, warm and steady, fingers trembling slightly. Bucky flinched — barely — like he didn’t think he deserved to be touched. His eyes were wide, wet. You could see it all in them: pain, apology, longing.

Then, you leaned in.

And kissed him.

It wasn’t tentative. It wasn’t sweet. It was everything else — desperate, aching, raw. Your mouth pressed to his with a need you didn’t understand until that exact moment. Until you felt his breath stutter and his hand come up to hold your wrist like he was terrified you’d vanish if he didn’t.

His lips were soft. Warmer than you expected. He tasted like rain and salt and something old.

Your body slid forward into him, knees on either side of his thighs, hoodie bunched around your waist, hair sticking to your damp forehead. Bucky’s arm came around your back — slow, trembling, gentle despite the strength he possessed. He held you like a man who didn’t know if this was real. Who didn’t know if he deserved it.

You kissed him again.

Harder.

Like it would make up for all the years he lost.

His hand found the back of your neck, fingers threading through your hair, holding you still while his mouth opened under yours. The kiss deepened — not rushed, not frantic, but deliberate. Intimate. His lips moved with yours like they were learning the shape of you, memorising the softness, the sharpness.

When you finally broke apart — both of you breathless — your forehead fell against his.

Neither of you moved. Neither of you dared.

Your voice cracked when you spoke.

“I saw everything.”

He swallowed hard. His hand hadn’t left your back. “I know.”

“I didn’t know,” you whispered, like it was a confession.

Bucky shook his head slowly, eyes still closed. “Wasn’t your fault.”

You opened your eyes and looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

His voice broke around yours.

“So am I.”

The silence afterward said more than anything.

And in the center of that ruined room — while the others still lay unconscious, and the storm still raged faintly outside — you held each other.

Not as enemies. Not as strangers.

But as something beginning.

────✪────

Sebastian Stan taglist: @notreallythatlost @houseofaegon @bunnyfella @sunday-bug @wintrsoldrluvr @maryevm @mcira @monsteraddicts-world @positivenergy @cherriesnmango

Fic taglist: @ruexj283 @avengemepercy @espressovz @sebastians-love @cherryandsugar @torntaltos @ficr3ccs @sexyvixen7 @starstruckfirecat @mikaylacriiistina @imaginecrushes @1000shipsnh @bcksgirl @bitterspoons @cinammonstixes @k8andthemagneticzeros @cherriesnmango @ropickle @mash-em-up @pinkcoquettebow @niceforcum @amanda-says @flowerluvr

Want to be added to a taglist? Let me know which one!

[retiredteabag]

Disney Princes I Associate with JJK Men - a brief analysis

masterlist

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

Nanami - Kristoff

Nanami is canonically sassier than most give him credit for, especially when he is overworked or having a bad day.

He is pretty gruff when you first get to know him but he is also fiercely loyal and protective.

Many might see him as a "loner" but he seems decently content with being on his own.

Although Nanami worked in a white-collar environment, he is still a sorcerer and equally as hard-working in his blue-collar field.

On occasion, he is grumpy (with Gojo lol) even so, more than anything, he cares for those he loves, and makes many sacrifices to show for it.

Blond?

Gojo - Flynn

Satoru is SO Flynn.

They use charm and good looks to get whatever they want. This may be perceived as shallow, but they still have deep roots.

Flynn has the most "personality" of the princes in the films but does not see himself that way. He is aware of his flaws, and sees himself almost as a fraud.

Like Satoru, he is almost incapable of seeing that there is more to his character than others would see.

Toji - Aladdin

If Dimitri from the Anastasia film was a Disney prince, I might have gone with him but Aladdin fits nearly as well.

Their characters are both shown as being more than what they seem. A "diamond in the ruff" shall we say.

He is not above stealing or lying, and may actively manipulate a narrative to get what they want. Despite this, they do not necessarily have malicious intent, but rather, just want to survive.

They are both heavily motivated by freedom and willing to take risks to acquire it.

Both men become the best versions of themselves when they find love.

I also believe that they might have similar insecurities *cough* riffraff *cough* street rat.

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

Next up: Suguru, Sukuna, and Choso any guesses?

all fanart I got on Tumblr, however, I recognize @hunnismokah, @thatsallitchief, and @- narutoss.ramen on Instagram

[losers-clvb]

possession sam winchester x ruby x angel!reader

content: mentions of (kidnapping, shackles, punishment via cutting, non-consensual voyeurism), stockholm syndrome, manipulation, coercion, demon blood sam, sam and ruby are possessive and mean, sam is manipulatively soft, ruby is manipulatively mean, praise, language, religious themes, smut (oral sex (fem and male receiving), dirty talk, edging, size kink perhaps, marking/bruising, unprotect piv penetration, face sitting, implied cockwarming), canon typical blood play (think sam with the demon blood, i don't know what else to call it), perhaps some fluff if you twist it enough

word count: 4.9k

note: everyone say "thank you smin!" for inspiring this with our feral chats over messaging. i may have missed some warnings, please let me know if i did. i'll say this until my lungs give out: LET ME INTO YOUR MARRIAGE, JARED AND GEN!!

The cool metal of your runed shackles weighed your hands down, forcing them to rest on your knees.

Here you were, again, praying out for help, again.

It was a lost cause. You’d been locked up here -- some hidden away cabin -- for longer than you could even keep track of. Every prayer, every beg, for rescue had gone unanswered. Still, you couldn’t stop your kneeling against the floorboards of the bedroom, hands clutched together.

“Mmm…,” you heard purred out from behind you, “still at it?”

You ignored the voice. He was cruel. Cruel and mean and so fucking hot that he had lured you into this whole trap.

Sam Winchester was supposed to be kind. He was supposed to be the kind of boy you smile and flutter your lashes at to get whatever you want. Something had changed since your first meeting with the man.

You suspected that something was your other captor, who had been significantly missing for days.

The thumping of boots on the creaky wood floor made you shiver, and you quickly mumbled the rest of your prayer. Cold fingertips grazed against the bit of spine that pushed against the skin of your bent neck. You hated the way you loved it.

“They’re not coming.” Sam hummed. “Your family no longer deems you worth the effort.”

You swallowed, lip quivering. You were scared of Sam, yes, but not because he’d hurt you. He’d simply sat back and watched as Ruby sliced into your skin after your first, and last attempt at escape. You’d looked to him for help. All he had to offer you was a look of faux sympathy. You knew the truth from the shimmer of something dark in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You whimpered, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. You didn’t need to explain the apology. It’d been the only thing you’d said since he had caught you in the woods last week, your weak body thrown over his shoulder.

“Oh, I know you are.” He tutted condescendingly, giving you a soft smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He brushed a hand over your hair and you leaned into it. “But bad girls need punishment.”

“Where’s Ruby?” You asked. The words threw him off-guard, but he didn’t show it.

“She’s out. Just you and me right now, angel.” Sam’s voice was so soft, so calming, you’d forgotten your momentary fear of him.

“Don’t call me that,” you immediately responded, but had the sense to add, “please.”

“Oh, so quick to abandon your faith?” Sam raised his eyebrows and you looked away. Your eyes were watering and you felt the need to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying.

You knew it was wrong. You shouldn’t give up. Not ever. That was where angels fell into trouble. They gave in to emotion, to the overwhelming sense of dread when their Father ignored their prayers. You had thought you were better than them, but here you were. You should have known you were weak when you had let Sam, the old Sam, kiss you.

“Oh, my angel.” Sam’s voice weaved into your brain, growing roots into the smallest parts of you. You didn’t correct him this time.

“Remember, they abandoned you first,” he cupped a hand on your cheek, using his thumb to brush away the stray tears, “they left you here to rot. Who was by your side through the days and nights?”

“You,” you whimpered, your chains rattling with your shifting movement, “and Ruby.” You watched a soft but wicked smile cross Sam’s face.

Neither of you acknowledged the fact that the days and nights were his and Ruby’s faults. You wouldn’t be suffering like this if it wasn’t for them abducting you. They’d hoped your loss in Heaven would spur an army of angels for the rescue, an army they knew they could defeat. When no one came for you, the two had come to a silent agreement: you were theirs, forever.

“That’s right,” he cooed. He knelt to your level, eyes raking over your worn nightgown. “And who always knows best?”

“You and Ruby.” You echoed, the names tumbling from your lips on instinct. They’d flipped some switch in your brain long ago, but it had taken time for you to truly follow everything they said.

Alone, you were still that hellbent-on-escape little angel they’d trapped, but in their presences? You grew weaker until all that you thought was what they had fed you.

Sam and Ruby both knew, it wouldn’t be long before you were wholly theirs.

“Mhm,” Sam trailed a finger over your collarbone. He just wanted to feel your skin. The warmth reminded him that you were real.

There had been a time, before Ruby, when he loved you in a way that was holy. He wanted to give you the world. Your risk of falling had kept him from doing all of the things he really wanted. He had dared a small kiss, in the moments before he’d faced a nest of vampires alone. He couldn’t die without knowing how you tasted.

Now, with the demon blood -- Ruby’s blood -- running through him, he wasn’t in the mood to compromise. If you would fall, then he and Ruby would catch you. Heaven didn’t deserve an angel like you.

They did.

They loved you in the only way they knew how, obsession, but it was love, no less.

“Can you take them off?” Your voice was meek. Terror ripped through you when Sam pulled his eyes back to yours. You were tempted to take it all back, beg for forgiveness for even asking, but Sam gave you a sad smile.

“The last time I took them off, I had to chase you through the woods like a rabbit.” Sam was right. The moment your shackles had left your wrists the week before, you had headbutted him in the nose and dashed out the door.

Ruby had tried to snatch you back up, but it was Sam with his long legs who had caught you. He’d knocked you to the ground before slinging you over his shoulder. Your widened eyes had caught sight of the blood streaming from his nose, the fire of rage burning in his eyes, and you immediately started your groveling.

Sobs of “I’m sorry” had left your throat and lungs raw. Ruby didn’t listen. She just sliced away at your forearm with your own blade. Her goal was made clear when you caught sight of the cuts.

She’d carved Mine into your skin. Mine meaning you would never get away from her, or Sam, for that matter.

Sam had pulled you into his arms after that, a pool of your blood staining his shirt. He didn’t care. He simply brought you to your room, a square space with only a bed, and wrapped your arm in gauze.

“I’m sorry,” you had quivered out again.

Sam smiled, kissing your forehead.

“I know.” He had responded before tucking you into your soft sheets and blankets.

That night, he’d fucked Ruby so hard he had seen stars.

“It won’t happen again, I swear.” You promised, shifting your knees again. You took Sam’s hands into yours, wrapping your fingers around them.

“I won’t run. Please, I’ll be a good girl.” You begged, bringing your forehead to where your hands connected. Sam loved this, watching you plead with him to get what you wanted. He wasn’t going to give in that easily, not yet, but it was a nice sight to have.

Then you said those words. You hadn’t known the impact it would have. You were just babbling on.

“Please, Sam,” you hesitated for just a moment, “I love you.”

It had been the first time you had said it. Ruby and Sam had dragged a vague confession-like thing out of you before, but this was the first time you dared to say those exact words. You meant them, in a twisted kind of way. That was the best part for him.

Sam dove onto you, lips smashing into yours. He’d kissed you before. Once as his old self, and dozens of times as this new version. It had only ever been something small, a peck lasting a few seconds if he was lucky.

This was different. He loved you, and you loved him. He couldn’t hold back anymore. He wouldn’t hold back anymore.

He moved his lips against yours hungrily. You melted into him, letting your mind drift away to a better place.

His hands worked at your shackles, the lock clicking open with the turn of a key. You sighed when they dropped to the floor. Your wrists were flushed red, the skin raw, but the weight was finally gone.

You stayed true to your word. You didn’t run. You were a good girl.

“Really, Sam?”

Her voice chilled you to the bone. Sam pulled away but you slumped into him, burying your face in his neck.

“Ruby,” Sam said, his hand splayed across your back to hold you close. He didn’t seem all too shocked to see her. You wondered how long she’d been there.

“One mutter of love from her and you’re rolling over like a dog.” Ruby stepped closer into the room, her eyes stuck on you clinging to Sam. “She’s lying.”

“No, she’s not.” Sam hooked a finger into your hair to pull it away from your face. “Isn’t that right, angel?”

You nodded, eyes closed. Ruby frightened you more than Sam. She’d been mean from the start. She’d also shown some softness to you, but nothing like Sam. You didn’t know if it was enough to compensate for her torture.

“Use your words,” he encouraged, tracing a finger on your cheek.

“I love you,” you said to Sam, then, after a second of contemplation, you opened your eyes and looked at Ruby. “And I love you.”

You watched something cross over her face. Something dark and lustful. She twisted her sneer into a smile and you kept your eyes locked on hers while she walked to you.

“She’s not gonna hurt you,” Sam soothed in your ear when you tensed up. “As long as you’re a good girl, she won’t hurt you.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from whining when she finally reached you. You were still in Sam’s arms, but he’d moved one of his hands to rest on the back of Ruby’s thigh. Ruby narrowed her eyes.

“I don’t believe you.” She said, a challenging look in her eye. You let out a shaky breath, fear racing through you. She didn’t believe you?

“I-I love you, please, I swear.” You stuttered. You didn’t know what she would do if she thought you were lying. Your forearm throbbed in pain at the memory of your last punishment.

Ruby dragged her eyes to Sam, tilting her head in a silent message. He must have known how to decode her, because a second later he was standing next to her. You were left alone, on your knees, with Sam and Ruby towering over you. They held twin smirks at the sight of your widened eyes.

“Mmm, I don’t know,” Sam hummed, turning his head to Ruby, “I don’t believe her either.”

“She likes to lie.” Ruby agreed, nodding her head. Sam still looked at Ruby, but her eyes never left yours. Your pace quickened. They loved the fear radiating from you.

“No, no, I’m not lying,” you rushed out, “I love you, both of you, so much.” You scrambled closer to them, resting your head on Ruby’s stomach. Your hand grasped at Sam’s shirt. “Please believe me.”

“Prove it.”

Your trembling paused for a moment. You tilted your head up to look at Ruby and she smirked. Her fingertips danced over your cheek, landing on your lips. You just watched her, tears threatening to well back up.

“Show us how much you love us.” She pressed two fingers past your lips. You didn’t need to ask what she meant. You knew.

You’d heard them enough, the moans and grunts echoing through the thin cabin walls. They did it on purpose, you’d realized once. They were loud and messy and verbal in an attempt to lure you in. They’d hoped you would give in to their control faster if you heard what you were missing out on. It had worked, not in the way they had wanted, but you found yourself yearning for their dirty words during sex to be aimed at you.

You pressed your tongue against the pads of her fingers, sucking on them.

“Good girl.” She praised before pulling them out.

Your hands flew to the front of her jeans, hastily unbuttoning them. You tugged the denim down her legs, pulling her underwear with them.

“So fucking ready to please.” Sam mumbled, palming himself through his own jeans. He’d have your lips wrapped around him soon enough, but right now he wanted to watch. Ruby weaved her fingers into your hair, helping to guide your mouth where she wanted it the most.

You dragged your tongue through her folds. Your eyes fell shut at the taste.

“That’s right,” Ruby cooed when you got the rhythm down, “just like that, angel.” You looked up at her through your lashes, a swell of pride blooming in your chest when she moaned.

Sam placed his hand where Ruby’s lay tangled in your hair. He interlocked his fingers with hers. They were one, putting just the right amount of pressure on you to get Ruby biting back noises.

You trailed your hand to the front of Sam’s jeans. For a moment, you just brushed your thumb against his bulge, feeling the hard denim against your fingers. He rolled his hips, chasing the friction.

Sam bent his neck down to Ruby’s level. He kissed her hungrily. This was different from the way he’d kissed you. With you, he’d been starved of your touch for far longer. Ruby, he was comfortable with. The passion was still there, but Sam knew the best angle to slot their lips together.

Sam pulled her bottom lip in between his teeth when her mouth fell open. You had flicked the tip of your tongue against her clit and it had the effect you had hoped for.

“Knew you’d be good,” Sam growled at you, sucking on Ruby’s lip before moving to her neck.

With the help of Sam’s hand over your own, you were able to undress his bottom half. His cock sprang free, red and angry.

“I don’t know-,” you started to say when you saw Sam’s size, but Ruby clutched her hand around your jaw, making you look back at her.

“Don’t you love him?” She asked, a cruel spark running through her eyes.

You nodded.

She smiled and used her thumb to swipe up the mix of her arousal and your spit that was glistening on your chin. Her eyes rolled back when she wrapped her lips around the digit, sucking it clean. With a look from her, you knew you needed to do this. No, you corrected yourself, you wanted to do this.

You turned your attention to Sam, who was staring down at you while he stroked himself. He raised an eyebrow.

“C’mon, angel,” Ruby murmured, rubbing herself with her middle finger, “show Sammy how much you love him.”

You hesitated before wrapping a hand around Sam, just above his own. You noted the way your fingertips weren’t able to touch. A squeeze made Sam suck in a breath.

You kissed his leaking tip, the taste of him leaking through to your taste buds. Slowly, you pushed him past your lips. Your jaw dropped further and further as you took in more of him. You stopped when he brushed against the back of your throat.

“Aww, poor angel can’t fit it all in.” Ruby mocked in a sweet voice. She pushed slightly on your head, forcing you closer to Sam’s abdomen. Your breath hitched as you tried not to gag.

A smile twitched onto Sam’s face at the sight.

“See how she’s taking it,” Ruby purred to Sam and pushed you further, “she was made for this -- made for us.”

Sam steadily let the air out of his lungs, dropping his head forward when your throat constricted into a swallow. He swooped his head lower, nipping at Ruby’s cheekbone. He still had his hand twisted with hers in your hair, but he took his other and began to drag circles on her clit.

Ruby’s mouth fell open in ecstasy. You felt the twitch of Sam against your throat when Ruby groaned. In the haze of her pleasure, she rushed her pushing and your nose crashed into Sam’s pubic bone. This time, you did gag. It was too much all at once.

You dug your nails into Sam and Ruby’s thighs, hoping to get their attention to what you were going through. They continued to be enamoured by each other. Sam was pulling on the skin of her neck with his teeth, just enough to leave bruises. Ruby was grinding into Sam’s hand, moans falling from her lips.

Tears rolled down your cheeks. You pulled your head back, straining against their shared hold. Somehow, you slipped out of their grasp. You tumbled back, catching yourself on your hands.

Your chest heaved and you trembled, trying to catch your breath enough. It had scared you, that small moment when you didn’t know if you would be able to come up for air.

“Oh, angel.” Ruby knelt to her knees, brushing your tears away. You didn’t flinch. Ruby loved you, and as long as you were a good girl, she wouldn’t hurt you. “Was it too much?”

You nodded and let her palm cup against your cheek. Sam gathered one of your hands in his, helping you to your feet. You swayed a bit, but ultimately stood your ground by leaning against Sam.

“We’re sorry, baby,” Sam kissed your forehead. He was surprisingly sweet for someone who was still rock hard. You closed your eyes and buried your head in his chest. You felt your hair get brushed back.

“Let us make it up to you,” Ruby kissed your neck. “Let us show you how much we love you.”

You hummed out a response.

They worked together to guide you to your bed. You didn’t know how it would fit all three of you. Sam and Ruby didn’t seem worried about this fact.

Sam gathered the hem of your nightgown up, lifting it over your head to leave you naked. When you regained your sight, Ruby had shed the rest of her clothing. You eyed her like she was the most holy thing you’d ever set eyes on. The flash of mischief in her eyes told you she was anything but.

“Lie back, angel.” Ruby instructed. She placed one hand on your back and the other on your chest, helping you into the position she wanted you in. She left featherlight kisses on you, spanning across your chest, stomach, thighs. She was working you up while Sam undressed himself.

“Fuck, this all from loving us?” Sam asked when he caught sight of your glistening center.

“I love you.” You whined when Ruby tapped a light message against your clit with her finger. Sam and Ruby exchanged similar looks of joy at your programmed response.

This was is it. They knew it then.

You were theirs, all theirs, only theirs.

They took turns going in on you, tongues sometimes mashing together when the other couldn’t hold themself back. You were a writhing mess, but they held your hips steady.

“So good,” Ruby muttered, panting. She nipped at your clit lightly, just enough to make you squeak. She pushed her tongue into you, fucking you with it while Sam slithered up to your face.

“So perfect,” he whispered to you, kissing you. You moaned when you tasted yourself on his lips. He brushed a thumb across one of your nipples.

“I’m-,” you broke mid-sentence when Sam sucked a mark onto your neck, “I’m gonna come.” Your voice was small.

You grasped onto Sam’s shoulders. He slunk back down your body, leaving bruises with his mouth along the way. You locked eyes with Ruby. She smirked against you and sucked a bit harder.

She saw it in your eyes, the sparkle you got just before you came. You didn’t see the spark of dominance in her before it was too late. She’d pulled away from you, leaving you whining as your high slowly simmered down.

“Not yet.” Ruby slid up to your level, kissing your forehead. You knew better than to argue. Snuggling into her neck, you felt Sam’s hands graze against your skin until they cupped over your breasts.

“Wanna feel you come apart on me, angel.” Sam whispered into your ear. He kissed your neck.

You let out a breathy whine, a quiet and soft noise. Your eyes fluttered shut while they showered you with kisses.

You never felt more loved.

In Heaven, you were a soldier. A pawn in the divine plan. You were used to deliver salvation to humanity, responsibilities of keeping everything as it was supposed to be according to your Father’s plan.

Here, you were appreciated for what you brought to the table. You had no expectations, nothing other than complete obedience. You didn’t have to think. Sam and Ruby loved you, and they would take care of you until the end of days.

You needed to give them more. You needed to show them how much you loved them.

“Ruby?” You asked in a timid voice. Your lips brushed against her skin while you spoke. She smirked, locking eyes with Sam. She was waiting for you to do this. She knew what would come next.

“Yes, my angel?” Ruby answered.

“Can I make you and Sam feel good again?”

Ruby ran a tongue across her teeth, trying not to let you know how much your willing nature was already pleasing her.

“Yes.” She was already guiding you up to sit on your knees on the bed. She motioned to the spot where she wanted Sam and he obliged, rolling over to lay on his back.

“Right here, angel, sit right here.” She instructed, her firm grip on your hips dragging you to rest on Sam’s thighs. You brushed against the base of his cock, making you let out a shaky breath. You were already sensitive after the night’s earlier events, but the knowledge that he would soon be inside of you was enough to intimidate you. The sick part was the arousal that washed over you in tandem with the fear.

Ruby bent down until her mouth was just over Sam. She spit onto him, using it as lubrication to prepare him for you. Not that it was all that needed; you were dripping just thinking about how much you loved them both.

“Come here.” Ruby beckoned. She helped you move over Sam, lining him up with your entrance.

“I’ll be gentle,” Sam lied, assuring you when he noticed your hesitation. He could have been sincere in it, you thought, but you knew his intentions went out the window the moment you sunk down onto him. His eyes flicked to pure black. It was a reminder that his humanity was dwindling. The demon blood was converting his soul to darkness.

You sighed, your head falling back, when you finally reached his base. You sat there, trying to organize your thoughts. Sam didn’t like that. He didn’t want you to think.

He gripped onto your hips, lifting them before letting his own hips follow, slamming himself back inside. You gasped, a moan escaping. Ruby rested one hand on your lower back, the other on Sam’s abdomen, like the puppet master she was. She controlled you both, but her hold on you was stronger than the one on Sam.

“Fits so well,” Sam grunted, pounding into you. You let out a strangled moan. You gripped onto Ruby’s arm, needing to stabilize yourself.

“See what you’ve been missing out on?” Ruby flicked the tip of her tongue against your cheek, pushing her chest closer to you. You couldn’t speak. You could barely breathe with the speed Sam was moving at.

That pleased Ruby even more. You were her dumb little angel, listening to everything she said.

She pulled away from you to climb onto Sam’s face. This scene was too much. She needed to come, and she knew Sam was always happy to offer his mouth up for that assistance. She sat comfortably on his face, eyes fluttering shut when he groaned into her.

You watched her with a hazy mind, choking on your breath at the pleasure. When she looked back at you, her eyes were the same inky black as Sam’s had been. It should have sent a shiver down your spine that you were in the presence of such evil.

But Ruby didn’t feel evil. Not when she was pulling you toward her to kiss you so hungrily. This was your Ruby. She loved you, and you loved her.

You whimpered into her mouth when she clawed at your arms, tearing away the bandages. In the haste of trying to prove yourself to Sam and Ruby, your slow-healing cuts had been ripped open. The blood seeped out slowly, not enough to trickle, but enough to drip when it pooled up too much. You hadn’t noticed.

Ruby did. An idea popped into her head, one bred from the desire to be closer to you. She remembered forbidding you from healing yourself after your punishment, and, God, was she grateful for it when her tongue flashed over your arm.

She’d tasted blood before, bathed in it even, but nothing like this. Your blood brought the sweetest sting down her throat. She relished in the fleeting pain. She scraped her teeth against the slices, chasing the high angel blood was bringing to her. You whined as she moaned.

Sam almost protested when Ruby slid back but before he could get a word in, she slammed your forearm down to his mouth. He sucked on instinct and his thrusts stuttered with the tang of your blood.

It didn’t hurt him like it had Ruby. No, it had a different effect on him. It turned the dirty inside him clean, filled him with hope. He felt lighter, almost. Somehow he knew that the mixture of demon and angel blood in his system would make him more powerful than ever.

The thought brought his pace back to life.

His hips were unforgiving on the backs of your thighs, bruising them with every moment of contact.

Ruby reclaimed her prior spot over his face. This time, Sam had her falling apart in minutes. He’d gotten a new spark inside of him with this whole thing. You and Ruby were his girls and he’d be damned if you two went unsatisfied.

A scream caught in your throat when you came. You doubled over, falling to Sam’s chest. It didn’t falter his pumping in and out of you. In fact, it seemed to motivate him more. The clenching of your walls around him had him silently begging for release. He needed it.

Ruby took no time to level her head with Sam’s. She was still recovering from her orgasm, but knowing he was still inside you had her kissing next to his ear.

“Come in her,” she whispered to him, nibbling on his earlobe. Sam groaned in anticipation. He’d been planning on doing it but now Ruby had given him the permission he needed. “Fill her up for me.”

“Fuck,” he seethed when it finally happened. He dug his hips into your ass, grinding up to ensure his release was deep inside. He was able to get in a few sloppy thrusts to guarantee he was completely satisfied before he relaxed into the mattress of your bed.

You were heaving out breaths. You hadn’t opened your eyes since your orgasm, but they both knew you weren’t sleeping. Ruby traced a finger across Sam’s cheek before kissing him.

“Good boy.” She praised, earning her an exhausted smile from him.

“Angel?” Ruby asked softly, skimming her hand over your shoulder. You didn’t move. The only indication you had heard Ruby came from the small “Hmm?” that vibrated from your throat. She smiled wickedly at that. You were completely spent. Still, she wanted one last thing before you fell asleep.

“Tell me again.” She ordered. You needed no explanation, even with your fuzzy mind keeping you from thinking.

“I love you,” you mumbled, shifting your hips. Sam scratched lightly against your back, making your skin tingle.

“And who will love you when no one else will?” Ruby asked. She pulled a blanket over you three, protecting against the cold night air. Not that anyone would get cold tonight, not with your bodies still tangled together.

“You and Sam.” You breathed out one last answer before drifting off. The soothing circles on your spine calmed the part of your brain keeping you from sleep. Ruby smirked proudly, kissing both yours and Sam’s foreheads while you both slept.

“Good girl.” She purred, settling in to watch over you both all night long.

The morning would come, but your fear of them would not. The wounds on your arm would heal into a scar, spelling out their possession of you every time you looked at it. As long as you were a good girl, Ruby wouldn’t hurt you again, a mantra that reminded you to never try to leave them again.

everything taglist : @littlesoulshine @sacr1ficialang3l @blossomingorchids @plasticflowersinahistorycemetery @mostlymarvelgirl @missus-ackles

sam winchester taglist : @hobiespick @xoswiftieprincess

additional loveys that i know will want to read this : @saltcxrcle @sorryitsmyfirstdayonearth @ambiguous-avery

[juricel]

requesting precorrupt smc x reader x corrupt smc... 🙏🙏 do whatever!!

a/n: I apologize for the late reply! I have finally gotten artistic inspiration, but in exchange for my writing inspiration. there's not much content warning in this post aside from the slight canon divergence, because obviously, two versions of shadow milk cookie won't exist in a single universe, that would be, simply put, a destiny much horrifying than hell itself.

— corrupt! shadow milk cookie x reader x pre-corrupt! shadow milk cookie

𖦁 pre! corrupt shadow milk cookie, in all his decadent rot, would not hesitate to part with a morsel, for after all, it isn’t cheating, is it? since it is still him, however, in an alternate universe. ah, but the latter on the other hand... corrupt! shadow milk cookie harbors a less benign disposition. even if it is an echo, a mere specter of his own self, the act of sharing you provokes discontent, nor was it in his in his written script; for you, in your ineffable singularity, are /his/. and his alone. It matters not if the proposed rascal being woven through your relationship was an alternate version of himself; the principle remains immutable — you are HIS. and no, you don't get to a say on this, who even are you to set such boundaries?

𖦁 It wasn't possessiveness, no, not at all! such word was not in his dictionary; it was simply put an unvarnished statement of what was blatantly true, and if pre-corrupt! shadow milk cookie couldn’t handle such a reality, then let him return to where he came from and rot into ashes of flour, forgotten. he had no intention of sharing you with anyone—anyone—not even with a version of himself. If pre-corrupt! shadow milk cookie desired you so intensely, why not settle for an alternate version of you, hmm? let him make do with that. and if he didn’t like it... well! that, my dear, was certainly not his problem, was it? let him stew in his discontent. the truth had been laid bare before him, as it was meant to be, and if it stung—well, that’s the nature of truths, isn’t it? not something to be coddled or softened for his fragile sensibilities. his discomfort was of no concern to you, nor to him. however, much to his displeasure, it was not as if pre-corrupt! shadow milk cookie would simply leave. no, for after all, you were first his, and abandoning you to the clutches of greedy and possessive hands was not part of his modus operandi—not at all. he was not the sort to let go so easily, nor was he inclined to stand by while others claimed what was rightfully his.

𖦁 the two are like little rascals, always caught in some petty exchange, either passively-aggressively bickering or downright squabbling—yet, curiously, never once resorting to anything physical in spite of their frequent squabbles.

𖦁 neither of them intend to leave, so brace yourself for frequent invasions of privacy. pre-corrupt! shadow milk cookie is the more polite of the two—if only slightly—but still finds amusement in your predicament, indulging in it much to your displeasure... corrupt! shadow milk cookie, on the other hand, has abandoned even the pretense of respect, constantly attempting to pry you away from pre-corrupt! shadow milk cookie's "grubby" hands. very frankly, this arrangement could have worked—if corrupt! shadow milk cookie was the type to tolerate such things. but alas, sharing has never been his strong suit, and the very idea grates against him like an insult. a lingering glance, a presence too close—unforgivable, the mere thought of sharing isn’t just unwelcome—it’s absurd. for in the first place, there was never anyone else to begin with until now.

𖦁 pre-corrupt! shadow milk cookie tries, truly, he does... but his efforts are mostly futile. no matter the approach, the reasoning, or the circumstance, it’s simply a concept that refuses to take root in corrupt! shadow milk cookie’s mind. sharing is not something he does—not naturally. however, on the rarest of occasions, in moments few and far between, he does allow it. but make no mistake—such generosity is fleeting, and it is never without cost.

a/n: i genuinely forgot i had tumblr... anyway, the new cookie is so adorbs and she's so good in living abyss too!! i fear pumpkin pie cookie's place in my top 3 is getting taken...