#rory yells at cloud

[duskittycat]

hey if anyone is interested in buying esims for gaza through nomad, you can use my referral code to get $3 off and credit $3 into my own account: RORYSQMY

[okay-j-hannah]

They Kiss You To Escape

Preference

Characters: Tenth Doctor, Eleventh Doctor, Jack Harkness, Rory Williams

Warnings:

Request: “Good night! I love Doctor Who and I really wanted to send you a request about a preference 😁 10, 11, Jack and Rory having to kiss their crushes to escape/hide from someone, please!” Anon

~~~

Tenth Doctor

The Doctor looked so uncomfortable.

He was pressed into the corner of the conference room, unable to escape the chattering of a persistent woman. She laughed ridiculously, shaking her whole body until she was bumping into him. The Doctor shook her off with a forced smile.

(Y/N) watched them from afar, perhaps enjoying his state of panic – very rarely do you see the Doctor knocked down a peg.

Though it was peculiar to see him so resistant of a flirtatious encounter. He was always sweeping strangers off their feet with talk of space and how brilliant he was. But right then there was nothing but strain on his face as the touchy woman sought his arm.

“I should take pity on him,” (Y/N) thought, sipping the remaining of her cocktail and envisioning a list of things the Doctor could do to repay her kindness.

She nudged through the crowd of babbling businessmen and their escorts to reach the corner of the room, starting to hear the high pitch voice of the confounding woman.

“Oh, stop!” she shrieked in laughter, “You couldn’t possibly have anything else to do tonight.”

“W-Well…” the Doctor stuttered, “I’ve got people to see, lords to meet, p-planets to save.” He frantically sought an excuse to escape.

(Y/N) could have sworn she watched the clouds part and sunshine fall on his face as the Doctor spotted her arrival. He practically yelled at her.

“(Y/N)!”

The insistent woman turned brazenly, a hand against her collarbone.

“Hi there,” (Y/N) said brightly.

“Hello, darling,” the Doctor said, pushing to reach her side. “How are you?”

But he didn’t give her a chance to respond as he gripped her waist and pulled her to his lips. He kissed her hard and fierce, leaving no room to question how he felt about her. (Y/N) was shocked into a standstill, hands braced against his arms as he leaned into her hungrily.

It was all-consuming, his fingers digging into her sides, holding her in place as he claimed her mouth.

The pair of them were so absorbed in each other’s embrace that they completely missed the departure of the flustered woman.

It might’ve been minutes later that (Y/N) pushed against the Doctor’s arms, gasping for air. “Woah…”

The Doctor instantly pulled away, believing that he had overstepped beyond repair. He rubbed at his face, fingers lingering over his lips as he fumbled over something to say.

“I… you – I’m sorry, (Y/N),” and he looked it too. “I couldn’t get that infernal woman to leave and then you… I didn’t mean to come at you like that.”

(Y/N) had a hand to her chest, chasing the rapid beating of her heart. “Um…” she gulped, “I didn’t mind.”

His head was downturned, but his eyes flew to hers. “Sorry?”

She shook her head, “I didn’t mind.”

He got a wonderous look on his face. And (Y/N) had the sneaking suspicion there was a reason he didn’t fancy going out with the stranger.

Eleventh Doctor

His mind was reeling, jumping from one scenario to another. It was making his jittery movements more erratic, his fingers dancing about as he saw his thoughts before him.

He was starting to sweat with the anticipation, “By George,” he muttered, “I’m in a right state.”

“Sorry?” (Y/N) asked, lounging near the tardis. It was stuck in a quantum lock by a devious friend of the Doctor’s, one that peevishly sought to jest his companions with silly requests.

The Doctor winced at her words, on the brink of bolting, “I’ve got to do something.” He rubbed his fingertips together, inching towards her like every step was crunching over glass. “And in all my years, it’s comparable to some of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done.”

“Are you alright?” (Y/N) asked, standing to meet him, “You’re a bit jumpy.”

He gave a breathy laugh, “I’m just twitterpated.”

She scrunched her brow, “Okay,” she eyed his nervous gaze.

He licked his lips, “See the problem is I’ve made a deal with the magistrate,” he gestured towards the palace behind them, “And there’s no way we can unlock the tardis without me meeting the terms.”

“Alright,” (Y/N) smiled, “What is he asking you to do?”

“Something I’ve given a great deal of thought to,” he bounced on the balls of his feet, “And my friend finds it appropriate to make it a requirement for our escape.”

“Can I help?”

He laughed again, high and nervous, “Bear with me.” He reached her standing figure, “This isn’t quite how I imagined it, but… right.” He went to cup her face with nimble fingers, fear lining his gaze.

(Y/N) grew worried, reaching to grab his arm, but before she could voice her concern, the Doctor put his lips on hers. Gentle and apprehensive and sweet at first, he pulled away just an inch – only to plant a stronger kiss right after. It was as if he wanted to capture one memorable kiss before the possible rejection that might follow.

He had to pry himself away, stumbling back and ashamedly looking at her as the tardis doors swung open as if on command.

“I’m sorry,” he said, twisting his fingers.

She stared at him with wide eyes, “You daft old man.” His continual look of shame brought a smile to her face, “I would have agreed if you just asked.”

His posture straightened out, surprised, “You… you didn’t mind.”

“Doctor,” she laughed, “I’ve known about your little crush since our first adventure. You’re so terribly obvious.”

He started to smile, “I always thought myself mysterious and debonair.”

“And who was I to crush that confidence.” She went for his hand, “You would have thought he asked you to wipe my memory or send me away with how scared you looked.”

“You happen to be a very scary person.”

“Said no one, ever.”

He shrugged, giddily enjoying his hand in hers, “We’re holding hands.”

She laughed, “Well spotted, Doctor.”

Jack

They raced down the corridor, blaring red lights illuminating their path. The terrifying sound of dozens of army boots pounded away behind them.

Jack grappled for her hand.

“Just around this corner!” he yelled over the sirens, “There’s gotta be a way out.”

“What if there isn’t?”

“Don’t think like that,” Jack cried, swinging around the corner.

They came face to face with a high security door. It was sealed airtight, powered by an electrical panel.

“Dammit,” Jack ground out, pounding on the metal door, once – twice. “Right.” He tore at the electrical panel, revealing a mess of buzzing wires. A few began sparking as he tugged at them, whipping his hand away at singeing his fingers.

“We don’t have a way to open it,” (Y/N) muttered, feeling her gut sink at the realization that they were trapped with the inevitable chasing after them.

Jack rolled up his sleeves, “Don’t worry, sweetheart.” He gave her a wink, “I told you I’d get us out of here – a few wires aren’t going to stop us.”

“But you’ll be electric-“ She was cut off with a scream as Jack reached in and yanked a fistful of wires out of the box.

His teeth clenched, his body seizing as volts of lightning shot through him, effectively stopping his heart. He flew to the ground, singed and smoking, completely still as the life left him.

(Y/N) cried out, falling to her knees, “Jack,” she gasped. “Oh my god, Jack!” She reached for his chest, ignoring how the door unsealed itself, snapping open with a hiss.

“Come on,” she said shakily, placing her fists over his heart and beginning to push down. “I swear to god, Jack, if you die because of opening a bloody door…”

She cupped his face, kissing him gently and blowing air into his lungs. He didn’t stir for another minute, the taste of salty tears on his lips as she began to cry above him.

It was not how she envisioned their first kiss.

“Please,” she begged, “Please, wake up.”

And with an almighty breath, Jack sat up, crying out, “Woah!” He planted his hands on his chest, wincing, “Did you give me CPR?”

(Y/N) had her hands over her mouth, staring at him in horror.

He was touching his lips then, “Were we kissing?” He gave her a raised eyebrow, “And I missed it?”

She smacked him across the arm, “Why are you acting like that? You just died, Jack!”

“Yeah, about that…” he climbed to his feet, “I sort of can’t – you know – die.”

(Y/N) glared at him, “Would’ve been nice to know beforehand.”

He shrugged, giving her that charismatic smile, “I have a flare for the dramatic.” He took a step towards her, “Now, about that kiss.”

“You mean the CPR I was giving you to save your life.”

“Potato, patato,” he grinned, “I think we should do it again sometime.”

She shook her head, unable to contain her smile, “Unbelievable.”

Rory

They walked as inconspicuously as possible, not wishing to draw the attention of the crowds. Rory had her wrist in his hand, paving the way through the masses. They tried to hide their growing looks of panic, taking short, shallow breaths.

“Do they know we’re here?” (Y/N) asked quietly near his back.

He swallowed, “I hope not.”

“Very reassuring,” she muttered, whipping her eyes around. “We’ve got to get out of here.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

He led her towards the nearest corridor, checking to see if any uniforms were waiting just around the corner. They moved quicker, jogging around to find the exit. It was just another day in the life of adventure with the Doctor.

And what could be more brilliant than getting lost on a foreign planet without any idea where the tardis was.

“Do you hear that?” (Y/N) tugged on Rory’s hand, pausing their steps.

He scrunched his brow, “Reinforcements.” Heavy footfalls seemed to come from all around them. “They must be changing shifts.”

(Y/N) spotted a helmet turning the corner on their left, “Incoming.”

Rory cursed, looking towards the right and seeing the same thing. Soldiers were winding their way through the traveling people.

“What do we do?” (Y/N) whispered, feeling Rory’s fingers fidget against her wrist. “They’re going to spot us for sure.”

Rory looked unsure of himself, pulling (Y/N) towards him, “Do you trust me?”

“What?” She eyed his apprehension, “Of course I trust you.”

He gulped, pressing her flush against him and waiting for the soldiers to be mere feet away. Finally he took a shaky breath and twisted her around, pressing her into the wall behind them. He slammed his lips onto hers, shielding as much of her body with his.

She was hesitant at first but went along with the plan as soon as her shock wore off. She wound her fingers into his hair, keeping him against her mouth. They melded together, hot and heavy against the wall as groups of people wanders past.

It was a lifetime before they pulled apart for some air.

“Well, that was…” (Y/N) started off.

Rory blinked, all in a daze, “Yeah…”

She bit her lip, “I think we’re in the clear.”

“Right, of course,” he cleared his throat. “But when we get back…”

She raised her eyebrows, “Pick up where we left off?”

“Yes, please.”

~~~

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[moldycantaloupe]

I got a small cold going on and figured now's a good time for a classic sickfic. (aka i whump phantom, again)

Cw: Fever, no vom

Rain looked up from his late breakfast and saw Aurora standing in the doorway, her face laced in concern.

“What’s happening, Rory?” He was quick to stand, ready to help ease her. She shook her head.

“Something’s wrong with Phantom…” She mumbled, her voice quiet. 

Rain frowned and started towards the hall, Aurora quick to follow. She led him towards their room with their door cracked open, but hesitated just outside it, as if scared to go in.

Rain, thankfully, did it for her, searching the rather dark room until his eyes landed on the heap of quint ghoul on the floor right next to their bed. They were wearing nothing but their boxers and shirt, body curled in on itself and face flattened against the ground. Their breathing consisted of wheezes and high yet quiet whines, their body dewy with a sheen of sweat.

“Phantom,” Rain rushed to kneel next to them, hands floating above their body as he tried to figure out what was happening. “What are you feeling, bug?”

“I think-” their scratchy voice was interrupted by a coughing fit, the end pitching into a pained whine, “I’m gonna die.”

Rain laid a hand against their forehead, Phantom nuzzling into the touch, and sighed when his suspicions were confirmed. Both Phantom and Aurora were barely three months Topside, and it was a wonder to Rain how they both stayed clear of any sickness for this long. It was only a matter of time, he figured. 

“Satanas, you’re running hotter than Dew…” He turned their head just slightly so he could get another hand on the back of their neck. 

“Thank you…” They muttered miserably. Rain blinked and just barely held back a smile. He turned towards Aurora, who now stood behind the two.

“Can you grab Aether for me, Rory?” Rain calmly asked.

“What’s wrong with them?” She wrung her hands together with nerves.

“They’re just sick.” He turned back to face them, his hands and floor putting in hard work to keep them cool. “Tell Aether they have a fever, he’ll bring what they need.”

Aurora nodded and ran out the room, nearly running into the wall doing so. He could hear her distantly yelling for Aether as she left their den and turned his attention back to the sick quint.

They were shivering, now trying to get away from his touch. “‘M cold.”

“That’s good, bug.” Rain chased their face with his hands. “We need to get you as cold as possible, okay?”

They stayed like that until Aether came in with a small bucket of items and set them down on Phantom’s bed. He crouched down next to Rain and felt their cheek.

“Holy hell,” Aether mumbled, “Almost as hot as Dew.”

“That’s what Rain said…” Phantom swatted his hand away with their own before falling into another fit of coughs. Aether and Rain shared a concerned look before they worked to get them sat up.

Once their coughing ceased, the two helped them to stand. They make their collective way to the bathroom. Aether started the shower while Rain quietly explained what was going on.

“We’re going to get you in the shower to try and break your fever.” Rain supplied as he helped them to strip. “It might not, but you will feel a little better, and cleaner.”

Phantom nodded with a pout. He stripped down to his boxers and got in with them while Aether went back into the bedroom to prep. They yelped at the cold temperature of the water and Rain guided them through it, running his hands along their scalp while the cold water pelted them.

The shower seemed to help, if only a little, and their clouded eyes from before were now brighter, more alert. Rain helped them out of the shower and into a new set of clothes Aether brought in before walking them both out.

Aether replaced the old bedding for thinner sheets and was in the process of digging through the bucket when the two came out. He smiled softly at Phantom and they gave a small one back. 

“Mountain is currently making some soup for you,” Aether began as Phantom crawled into their bed, “but he brought some tea he said would help soothe your throat.” He went to grab the still warm mug off the nightstand and handed it to the quint.

Phantom hummed and took small sips while they watched Aether and Rain move, both dancing around each other. Rain collected all the crumpled sheets and clothes while Aether continued grabbing and setting up supplies for Phantom. Their sips soon ceased as their head began to slightly bob, eyes growing heavier as the sleep began to take over.

Rain, thankfully, hurried over to grab the mug before the hot liquid could ruin anything and sat it aside. He helped them back into bed and shooed at Phantom’s hand when they tried to grab for a blanket.

“We need you to stay cool, so no blankets. Okay?” He took the cold pack Aether offered, slipping it underneath their neck. They sighed.

“I don’t like being sick…” their words slurred together and Rain smiled in sympathy, watching as their eyelids began to close.

“I don’t think anyone does.” He chuckled. “But we’re gonna take care of you real good, and you’ll be better by the end of the week.”

They cracked their eyes open and looked directly at Rain. “Promise?”

“Yeah, bug.” Rain nodded. “Promise.”

[leoniestarlee]

Illyrian Assassin (2)

Pairing: Azriel x OC Aurora

Word Count: 2.8k

Warning: past trauma, slow burn

(1)

--

Rain pelts down like tiny rocks against my skin as the heat surges up from the muddy ground, releasing small steams across Windhaven. Cramps like punches thrown by an Illyrian male attack my gut, bringing me down to my knees beside a training ring that was once filled with grunts and groans, now silenced. Tears brim my eyes from the pain and black dots cloud my vision as my head spins.

What the damn hell is happening to me?

"Rory, get up," Cassian hissed, strong hands gripping my shoulders as my head hangs low. "Come on. I need to get you away from here."

I grunt, lifting my head up as a few tears stream down my face. My eyes lock with concern-filled ones as he stares down at me. Another cramp takes my breath away and I hunch over, nearly landing face-first into the mud, if Cassian didn't have a grip on me.

"Something's wrong," I said through clenched teeth. It was then I felt a rush of liquid leaves my body, damping my pants. The iron smell of blood quickly came after it, filling my nose and making my body consume with horror as I realized.

"Shit," Cassian cursed, letting go of me and taking up a fighting stance in front of me.

I lift my head up, deep breaths rocking through my body as I notice the eyes of every Illyrian around us, staring right at me. A shudder goes through my body, followed by a low growl behind me. Shoving away the pain of the cramps, I spare a glance over my shoulder to see Azriel standing behind me, an Illyrian blade in hand as he sends warning growls to a few Illyrians who dare a closer step to me.

This was it. The moment I'll get my wings clipped and have my flying through the sky privilege stripped from me.

"No one touches her," Cassian warns. Even for his size and age, he sounds terrifying.

"You want her, then you have to get through us!" Rhysand shouted with his voice powering across the whole camp while walking toward us with determination on his face.

Another cramp collides against my stomach, and I have to throw my hand out in front of me to stop myself from falling into the mud.

No, no, no. This can't be happening. Not here. Not now.

"It's her first bleed," Lord Vevin's voice rumbled toward me. "You boys know what is to happen to her now."

"No," I breathed, lifting my head to stare into our Lords cold eyes. "You put a hand on me, and I swear to take it from you." I keep my eyes locked with his as I slowly rise to my feet, the pain threatening to knock me back down. "If you cripple me, I'll spend the rest of my immortal life, hunting down everyone within this camp."

A fire flared to life in his eyes as Rhysand stepped up to my side, not a weapon in his hands, unlike Azriel who is closer to my back now. Cassian snarls, his body shielding me from the threats of the other Illyrians we know—waiting for the command.

"It's a tradition," Lord Vevin reminded us, taking another step forward. "None of you can stop us."

And then it happened. Cassian connected his fist with the first Illyrian's face, bones breaking under his fist. Azriel, behind me, his grunts fill my ears as the sound of steel clashing with steel follows after him. Rhysand pushes me behind him, the rumble of his heir powers shuddering the ground as a handful of Illyrians near him turn into mists of blood and silver.

"Rhys!" I called out to him, knowing he's rarely used his power and he barely has any control of it.

But he doesn't listen. Instead, he starts hand-to-hand combat like Cassian and Azriel. I look around, my brown pants darker now from both the rain and my blood. A battle yell sounds from in front of me and I look up in time to see an Illyrian, many years older than me, strike. I barely manage to miss his fist thrown toward my face.

My body moves before my brain barks at it too. I dodge the fist, a groan slipping from my lips at the sharp pain in my stomach, but I gain my footing and throw back a punch that connects with his ribs.

It could've been an hour or merely a few minutes filled with this. Azriel fighting with steel. Cassian fighting with his fists. Rhysand fighting with part of his magic. And me, fighting with blood soaking my legs.

Until Rhysand was the first to go down, Illyrians holding him against the mud as the rain continued to pour down. Then it was Azriel, a sword against his throat to hold him back. With neither Rhys nor Azriel at my back, it left me exposed and unharmed. It didn't take long for me to get taken down and pressed into the mud.

"Aurora!" Azriel's shout of wrath shook the mountain, shook the rain. And Cassian, who looked toward me for a second. Only a second of being unfocused and he was put down, face pressed into the mud.

I thrashed, clawed, and screamed in anger as four Illyrians had to use all their strength just to hold me down and flip me onto my stomach. Tears and rain mixed on my face, dripping into the reeking mud as I struggled and struggled.

"Don't touch my wings!" I roared at the rough grips against my wings, as they extend my wings, as I hear a sword being unsheathed.

"Don't you fucking touch her!" Rhysand yelled, the sound of mud squelching under him laced with his voice.

"I'll kill you all if you do this—"

But the scream that clawed out of my throat cut Azriel off as I felt a sharp pain slice through one of the tendons on my left wing. The pain so unbearable, that it felt like a fire erupted against my wings, my back, my arms, my whole body. My screams only got louder with each passing heartbeat, drowning out Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand as they roared.

My eyes flew open as I gasped for air, darkness greeting me from the night sky outside. My head spun, the memories fresh against my body as I sat up and ran a hand over the ridged scars on my back.

It was only a memory. A memory turned into a nightmare.

I dropped my hands to my lap, fresh tears still covering my cheeks as I took in shaky breaths in an attempt to calm down my racing heart. It'd been months since my last nightmare, and it wasn't as bad as this one. It didn't feel as real as this one. Part of me swore I was back there for a moment.

The breeze from outside licked up my sweat-covered nightgown and I turned around, looking out my window to see the silver freckles across the night sky above me. I'm not back there. I'm here, in my room, in my bed, in Velaris.

"Thank the Mother they aren't sleeping in here tonight," I whispered to myself, my voice raw as I threw my blanket off me.

I kicked my feet over the edge of the bed, staring at the wooden floor as I took in another deep breath, reminding myself I was safe before I stood up and opened my wardrobe. My dark green bag called for me at the bottom of my wardrobe and yanked it out, with a few spare clothes, throwing them on my bed behind me.

My feet were light and quiet against the floors as I made my way out of my room and over to the door across the hall from me. Thankfully, it didn't creak as I pushed it open and peeked my head in to see Willa and Daisy peacefully asleep on their own beds, both of them hugging a plush toy.

The door pushed open further as I made my way in, being as quiet as I could while I went through their wardrobe, pulling out Willa's brown fur coat and Daisy's white one.

Since coming to Velaris, I'd still have nightmares of Windhaven that would keep me up for the rest of the night. Which is why I'd usually leave with the girls to go find my friend who always comforted me in these moments.

I tried to be as quick and swift as I could as I slipped Daisy into long, warmer pants and then a warm shirt. I did the same with Willa, nearly touching her wings a few times since they're bigger than Daisy's. But once they're dressed, I sneaked back over to my room with their spare clothes and then I stripped out of my nightgown, replacing it with brown long pants and a green sweater.

I hurried to pack my bag before slipping into my coat and boots. My bag hung tight to my body, gentle against my back, as I pulled it on.

The moon continued to shine into my room through my open windows as I closed my door behind me, going back into my sister's room. I slipped their boots on their small feet and then put their coats on them.

Willa groaned as I leaned down, wrapping my arm around her securely and then pressing her close to my body as I stood back up. Her head rested against my shoulder, her plush toy hugged close to her.

"I don't want to train," she mumbled in her sleep, making me hold back a snort as I leaned down and did the same with Daisy.

By the time I'd made it out of my apartment, the both of them still asleep in my arms with their heads on either shoulder, it's started to lightly snow along the streets with only the faelights above me to light up the roads. A few house lights were on, illuminating Fae walking around their houses, no doubt awake just for the beautiful sky our home offered us.

I made sure to keep my girls close to my body heat, so they stayed warm. Any fae on their porches or walking along the path, offered me small smiles that I returned, until finally I pushed open the little gate that separated the townhouse and the street.

I adjusted Daisy in my arm before my cold knuckles rasped against the wooden door. My breath clouded in front of my face as I let out a relief exhale at the sight of the door opening moments later, greeting me to warmth and the golden hair of Mor.

"Rory?" she groggily questioned, her eyes scanning my face and then the girls in either of my arms. "Are you okay? Come in." She opened the door more, stepping aside to allow me in.

I gave her an apologetic smile, stepping into the wood and marble antechamber as she closed the door behind me.

"Sorry for coming over so late," I apologized, following her into the foyer as she pulled the black robe around her body. "It's another one of those nights."

"Don't apologize," she was quick to say, leading me past the two flanked rooms: on the left was a sitting room with a black marble fireplace and elegant furniture. On the right was a dining room with a long, cherrywood table. "I told you that you can come here anytime you want," she added, leading me up the oak staircase to the second floor. "Did you walk here or winnow?"

I thanked the Cauldron for giving me strength as I made it up the last step, not tired yet from carrying the girls. "I didn't want to winnow and risk waking up the girls in fright," I answered her, following her into the spare room that was usually for me and my sisters when we stayed here.

"It's so cold out there, Rory," she softly said. "You'll be lucky if you don't get sick, especially in that thin coat."

I walked over to the bed big enough for four and she pulled back the blanket for me. "I know, but as long as their warm, then I'm happy," I said to her, putting Willa down first before walking around to the other side of the bed.

"Your health matters too," she said, almost scolding me as I held back a smile and placed down Daisy. "Since you're here now, do you want hot coco or wine?"

This time I did laugh, pulling off Daisy's coat. "Tonight is a both type of night." I pulled off Willa's and then left them at the end of the bed as I pulled the blanket over the sleeping girls.

Mor was already watching me with a small smile as I turned around and faced her. "You're a good sister, Aurora."

I gave her a smile, shrugging off the bag. "I try."

"I'll go get the wine and coco and meet you on the couch," she told me before leaving the room.

Once the door closed behind her, I took off the thin coat and walked into the connected bathing room, splashing water onto my face to clear my mind. From up here, I could hear Mor speak to someone quietly before I headed downstairs. The fireplace was roaring as I walked into the sitting room, Mor on the couch with a blanket snuggled up to her body and a wine glass in hand.

"I've sent Cerridwen to the House of Wind to inform Cass and Az that you girls are here," Mor informed me, holding out a second glass of wine to me.

I thanked her, taking it as I sat down beside her, and she threw the blanket over me. "Before I left the apartment, Willa mumbled in her sleep that she doesn't want to train," I told Mor, smiling into my wine.

She barked a laugh, her golden hair swaying around her as the heat from the fireplace warmed up the room. "He's going to scare that girl away."

I sipped my wine, the rich flavor perfect against my tastebuds. "I'm waiting for the day she hands him his ass."

"She's defiantly got a fire in her," Mor mused, nodding her head. "If memory serves me correctly," she drawled, "you were just like her when I first met you."

"Don't remind me of that memory," I groaned, dropping my head back against the couch as she laughed.

"You were ready to throttle me six feet under," she started. "If Rhysand didn't stop you and tell you I'm his cousin, then I'm positive you would've ran me straight out of that camp with a few broken bones."

I sat back up, furrowing my brows at her. "To be fair, I just thought you were trying to sleep with all three of them and I didn't want to watch my brothers fight each other."

"Well, you do have a point, even though I'd never fucking sleep with my cousin." She shuddered with disgust, and I mirrored the expression. "But now look at us—sipping wine in the middle of the night together."

I laughed, swirling around the wine in my glass. "I'm actually surprised we got along after that day—became close friends even."

"Speaking of friends, what's got you here in the middle of the night," she carefully asked me.

I brought the glass to my lips, tilting my head back to ease the memories as I finished the rest of my glass in one gulp. "Another nightmare from my first bleeding," I informed her, putting the glass down near my feet. "It was worse this time...I thought I was back there, getting my wings clipped."

"Oh, Rory," she quietly said, placing a hand on my arm. "You'll never go back there, I promise."

I looked at her, into her eyes full of kindness and promise. "But what of my sisters? I know Cassian trains Willa and will start training Dase soon, but if the Illyrians come looking, they'll take back my sisters."

Anger flashed through her eyes as she gripped my arm tighter. Not anger at me. Anger at my people. "They'll never, and I mean never, get their hands on those girls, Rory." I nodded, playing with the hem of the blanket. "The moment you three were left without parents, they became your children. Not that camp. Not anyone else. And the day they even try to take those girls back, I promise it will be Cassian, Az, Amren, and me they have to go through first. Plus, I know that out of all of us, you'll slaughter every Illyrian before they can get within five feet of your sisters."

"You're right about that," I mused. "I've already killed one camp Lord without any effort and that was just for my wings."

"Exactly. The wrath you'll let out to protect those girls will be felt across this world."

"Yeah," I agreed with her, leaning my head against her shoulder. "I hope Willa and Daisy will get along with Rhys when he comes home."

Mor tensed against my body but leaned her head against mine. "So do I."

[xelmokidx]

Runaway

omg I thought if this while I was daydreaming and I needed to make it lol

I loosely based that off of runaway by Kanye, I know he’s an asshole and allat, but he makes some good fucking songs I’ll tell you that

warnings: none, just cursing and Jessie boy being his sarcastic rude self

Reader is loraleis adopted daughter

Jess x artsy emoish! Reader ; angst

************************************************** Jess Mariano. How could you even begin to describe him? Sarcastic, funny, witty, kind of an asshole. Those would work. But to Jess, he was a coward. A phony. An idiot guy with no self respect and was too close minded to get the girl.

To him, you were everything. You were his everything. You were orange to his complementary blue. The sun to his clouds. The fire to his ice.

But he fucked it up. He didn’t tell you how he felt. He didn’t tell you how much he loved you. How much it hurt to not be near you. How tight his chest felt whiteout your love and affection.

You had left Stars Hollow in your junior year of highschool to go to some big fancy art and film school in California. Jess knew you would do great things. He just didn’t know those great things didn’t include stars hollow. Or him.

He stayed behind. He hated the heat, and sand, and valley girls. So he stayed. The only thing he wished was that you didn’t become a valley girl. Or that you would somehow in some weird way, forget him. But mostly that you wouldn’t become a valley girl. But this week, you were coming back. He knew the exact day and time you were coming. He even new the route your plane and bus home was taking. Do you yahoo, right? Your mom, Lorelei, was prepping for your return. Sookie was in your childhood kitchen, cooking and baking up your favorite meals and treats. Rory was prepping the decor, making sure to include your favorite fonts, colors and interests in the posters and decorations. And Jess. Well, he wasn’t doing much. In his mind he was. He was thinking up the exact things you guys would together. All your old spots and hangouts. He was thinking about how your hair looked. And how your eyes seemed to shine once they saw him. So, I’m a way, he was helping.

As he was busy thinking up a storm, Rory snuck up on him, kissing his temple and stroking his pretty jet black hair. Right. Jess was dating Rory. Rory was dating Jess. Jess looked up at his girlfriend and grimaced. Only slightly. He liked Rory, but he loved you. I guess living in the same house didn't mean the same face. Or personality. Or anything, really.

He kissed Rory softly on the lips, wishing so hard in his mind that it was you. He was being cruel. He knew this. But now seeing you every day was so damn hard on him. He didn’t know how to function. Luke himself would say that he locked him up in his room for days, weeks even.

Jess missed more than anything ever. Now was his chance to see you. To hold you. Maybe to tell you how he felt. No. Hurting Rory was too much at the moment, even with her recent breakup with dean. He couldn’t do that, right?

Soon enough, Babette caning running around the corner, opening the back door. “I just saw her bus pull in down near the gazebo, she’s gonna be here in five!” She yelled in her raspy voice. Every one lets out a simultaneous gasp, and begins to move even quicker. Rory lets go of her boyfriend with a smile, and goes back to her poster hanging. Jess stayed still, darting his eyes for my be window and the door, just waiting for his best friend to walk through the door.

Jess didn’t even have the power to kick back with the book that was tucked back in his back pocket. He was just too excited. The watched the door. And watched. And watched. The five minutes felt like hours. He wondered if you did your makeup in the way that you did. Black, smudgy and effortless. He wondered if you did your hair different. He wondered if you’d till sued the same cologne that you’d role form him two weeks after you met him. You never gave it back. He wondered about you. So much so that the door magically opened to you. You were panting, most likely due to the fact that you had so many bags with you, and the fact that you ran to the house.

“guess who’s back?” You yell out to the house. Rory squeals, forgetting about the decorations she was supposed to be hanging in your honor.

“I missed you!” She says, squeezing you tighter. “I missed you too, sissy.” You whisper back, nuzzling your face in her weirdly smooth and perfect hair.

You made your rounds around the house, hugging everyone that lived around the block. Once you had made your rounds, you looked around for one special person. You peek up the stairs, and see a tussle of black hair and a sort of skin tight longsleeve shirt you liked to call ‘the slut shirt’. “Hey Jesstifer,” you tease, using a nickname you know he hated, “come down here and give me a hug before I change my mind.” A smirk crosses both of your faces. Jess practically runs down the steps, attacking you in a bone crushing hug. “Missed me, did you?” You ask out if breath.

“Never, not your sorry theater kid ass.” He laughs. You detach yourself from Jess, and look at him. You look at his pretty brown eyes, his pretty cheekbones, and his extremely kissable lips. You look back up into his eyes. “Yeah, you missed me” you say. Jess shrugs, detaching his eyes from you. You were the one person to make him any sort of nervous. He hated that.

Later on, you had unpacked your bags, eaten the diner that Sookie had prepared, and gone up to your room. You were now reading with Jess, just as you had done years before.

Jess didn’t know how to talk to you. Not that anything had changed. It’s not like you can just blurt out, “hey, welcome back. Also did you know I’m dating your sister?” So, he stayed quiet.

While you read a book he had gotten you whilst you were away, he studied you. Your hair had gotten longer. And your makeup was just a bit more dramatic. Your face had somehow matured just a bit more. That sucked, now he couldn’t call you baby-face anymore. Your jaw line was more defined, as were your cheeks. He couldn’t stop staring. You had grown. He hated it, but also loved it. You noticed eyes on you, and looked up. “Do you need my camera to take a picture, or have you been staring so long that my face is already engrained in your mind?” You ask, tilting your head in amusement. Jess rolls his eyes, laughs a bit, before opening his mouth to speak. “Nah, I actually have a full wall in my room just of pictures of your sleeping face, just wanted to see if I needed one more for my collection” he smirks. You smile. Things were just as they used to be. Except, they weren't.

You and Rory were close. She was your sister for Christ sakes. You guys emailed and called whenever you could. Best friends do that. They talk about gossip at school, and hard tests and quizzes. They also talk about crushes. And new boyfriends. You already knew about Rory’s break with dean and how quick she had gotten with Jess right afterward. It hurt. A lot. ‘Jess was yours,’ you thought. he knew you and you knew him, it was a conjoined effort. Only your roommate would know how hard you cried. But of course so stayed strong for your sister. You were happy, but she should have- no she shouldn’t have. Jess didn’t like you, right? Jess loved Rory, that was that. So, you brushed off every romantic feeling towards Jess.

Well, you tried.

Seeing him so happy for your return was comforting, refreshing even. And it definitely didn’t help that Jess looked even hotter now then when you left. He had somehow gotten a bit taller, and his arms had toned out just a bit. His eyes read something you couldn't read, but it was noticeable.

You cursed yourself out for that. You were going to be in the film industry, with actors. You should really know how to read emotion. Jess was now the one to comment on your staring. “Do you need a camera?” He asks. You scoff. “No” you say. “ I don’t. I was just pointing out that you look even more ugly that I remember.” You end, pointing your chin up. Jess nodded and snickers. You both sit in silence for a little while longer, trying to explain everything you knew. Jess wanted to say how much he loved you, and how he would break things off with rory for you. You were trying to say how much you loved him, but you wouldn’t let that get in the way of Rory and his relationship. It was tiring. So, you spoke up. “You know, I was never much of a romantic,”

you say, trying to spark up some conversation. Jess looks up. “I could never take much intimacy,”

your eyes dart back and forth between Jess and your bed. Trying to find the words to say. “ I-“ you stutter. “I know you’re dating Rory.” You say quick and quiet. Jess eyes widen. “And I’m okay with that, I think.” Jess heart goes faster, he wish it would just calm down so he could speak just own word. “ I just wanted to say that,” you pause to take a deep breath. “I think I love you?” You look up at Jess for a while. His eyes still held something that you couldn’t read.

“the look in your eye is killing me” you speak, your voice slightly breaking.

Jess stares at you. He wondered what to say. What to think. What to do. “I love you too, I think.” He says. You gasp and look up at him. “no, you love Rory.” You hand clinched around your purple sheets, you were scared. You had lots of emotions, scared was rarely on the roster. “No, I love you. Rory was a distraction.” He says swift and quick. You hate when he dies that. It make him seem emotionless. Little did you know he only did that when he had too much emotion. Jess scoots closer to you on your bed, lightly touching your hand. You snatch your hand away. “You cant do that to her, Jessie,” Jess rolls his eyes. “She’ll hate me, I can’t have my sister hate me” you sternly say. Jess’s hand slowly moves away from yours, and he looks down at the floor. “It hurts so much without you.” He starts.

“You could blame me for everything, I just need you” his hand clenches at his jeans.

You move closer to him, pulling him in a haste kiss. Jess melts away at it. He grabs at you waist gingerly, feeling like if you were too he too hard, you could break. His lips are slightly chapped, but you don’t care. You never could. He taste like cigarettes and peach ice cream, the only thing he ate for dinner.

He couldn’t get enough. It was like you were a drug, one he was addicted to and didn’t even know it until now. you knew this was the last kiss you both would share for a long time. The taste of the passionate kiss moved more bittersweet after you thought of that fact. You hands were weaves in his hair, his hands tangled in yours.

This kiss was the start and end of you both. The end, goodbye, no more. You somehow wish you didn’t runaway.

[roeyliteratiforever]

It's so frustrating how people want to blame everything on Rory. Everything that went wrong in her relationships people want to fully blame on Rory.

I have literally been seeing people say things like "When Rory said no to Logan I was done with her after that" or when Dean was yelling at Rory in front of Paris saying "She deserved it" and I saw someone blaming Rory for everything that went wrong in her relationship with Dean and how "horrible" she treated him. I've even seen a lot of people say "I hate Rory for saying no to Jess" or will say "Rory actually cheated on Logan and she hurt Jess"

First of all Rory is not obligated to say yes to Logan if she wasn't ready to get married that is perfectly okay and Understandable. She also wasn't obligated to be with Jess I love that boy but he really hurt her and she had every right to say no to to wanting to run away with him. They both needed time to grow and that absolutely was not the right time.

Dean had no right to yell at Rory. He wouldn't even let her explain herself, Dean was always yelling at Rory and never let her explain herself anytime. He completely ignored her wanting space and to have a night to herself and the reason she lied was clearly because she was terrified to make him mad because she was so used to him blowing up on her all the time. That was her literally walking on egg shells around him not because she was trying to cheat on him. I don't care what Rory did his actions were not okay. Y'all Rory anti's let your hatred of her cloud your judgement.

People will say how terrible Rory treated Dean because "she was stringing him along and cheated on him with Jess" if anything she tried to force herself not to have feelings for Jess and when she kissed him it was an impulse she didn't mean to do it have you never been young before and been in a relationship and got feelings for someone else? Like that's totally a normal teenager thing that most teenagers experience. She didn't know how to get out of her first relationship which is so very real for a lot of people, and not to mention how much Lorelai loved Dean. Rory never had any intentions of cheating on Dean but his actions pushed her away with being possessive and explosive all the time!

Don't even get me started on the people that try to say Rory cheated on Logan please he literally slept with an entire bridal party and invalidated her feelings and gaslit her over the whole thing I don't want to hear a word about how she kissed Jess when Logan hooked up with a bunch of girls behind Rory's back and completely disregard how she felt! Rory didn't mean to hurt Jess either she cares so much for him but she also still has feelings for Logan and at least she felt bad about it, Logan didn't even feel bad about what he did or care that he hurt her!

It feels like people put Rory into this box and when she doesn't act in a way that they want her too they get mad and instantly hate her like she's not aloud to make mistakes otherwise she's horrible but if she didn't make mistakes and did everything perfectly people would say she was boring and unrealistic. I don't get it yes Rory made mistakes like all of the characters but she does not deserve the hate she gets from the fandom and I stand by that! I'm so over to Rory hate!

[dontcrywrite]

find the word tag

thanks so much for tagging me @dontjudgemeimawriter! the current draft of akb doesn't have enough words for this lol, so i'll be using the zero draft for this, as well as the selkie short story i'm writing :)

Blanket (from akb zero draft)

Cory pursed her lips, eyes darting about. “Should we head back?”

“No.” Helen shakes her head. “We don’t have time to double back. We’ll just -- be careful.”

With a flick of her wrists, Helen urges Whiskey forward into a slow walk. As he moves forward -- slow, unsteady, clearly ready to bolt -- Helen takes in their surroundings. Anything could be out in the woods, waiting to attack.

She doesn’t think it’s raiders, though. They would've heard something by now if there was. Raiders are human, after all, and humans make mistakes. A cough, maybe, or the crushing of branches beneath feet. The blanket of silence that’s fallen over them is a little too perfect. Too deep.

Warm (from akb zero draft)

“No!” Helen yelled. She lunged forward, trying to grab the staff out of [REDACTED]'s hands, but he pulled back out of her reach. He swung the staff through the air, hitting Helen squarely across the jaw.

“Helen!” Levi’s voice seemed distant as Helen stumbled backwards, ears ringing. Goddess, that hurt. She could feel the warm, steady trickle of blood sliding down her cheek where the edge of the staff caught her skin.

Tea (from selkie short story)

Cora blinks uncertainty at the blanket before turning her gaze onto Rory. Her eyes are dark, like the depths of the sea. Despite the flickering fire, no light reflects in her eyes.

“You need to warm up,” Rory says firmly. She slides off the arm of the couch and makes her way into the kitchen, grabbing a tea kettle. “It’ll do you no good to get hypothermia.”

Rory focuses intently on boiling the water, ignoring the feel of Cora’s gaze on her back. Her eyes remind Rory of something, but she can’t put her finger on it. It takes a few moments for her to remember, but it hits her as she putters around the small kitchen, grabbing a chipped mug from the counter. Her father’s stories.

Sweater Coat (from selkie short story)

Cora breezes in the door, hands tucked into her pockets. The seal-skin coat looks far more attractive in the daylight, shiny and new. For a moment - just a moment - Rory wants to reach out and run her fingers along it. Instead, she clears her throat and shuts the door.

“What are you doing here?” She winces at the blunt tone of her own voice. “Not that I’m not glad to see you, of course, but –”

“I thought I’d pay you a visit,” Cora says, smoothly interrupting Rory. Cora’s dark hair had been twisted up into a complicated looking updo, but now she carefully untangles it from it’s knot. “I didn’t get a proper chance to thank you for saving my life last time I saw you.”

Soft (from abk zero draft)

“There’s no need for that,” Prince Levi Sherridan, heir to Arla’s throne, says hurriedly, flapping his hands. “Please, just call me Levi.”

As Helen raises her head, she’s struck by how young the prince is. Without the crown weighing him down, he looks every bit his seventeen years of age. She hasn’t seen him properly since the attack, and while he looks much better from when he was bleeding out on the grass, the scar that now curves it way across a good portion of his left cheek. His eye is clouded over with a white film; he can't see out of it, Helen realizes with a pang.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with us,” Helen says as she rises to her feet. “I know you have no real reason to trust us.”

“Emory has spoken highly of you,” the prince - Levi - says with a soft smile. At Levi’s side, Emory flashes Helen a thumbs up.

tagging (with no pressure!) @nikkywrites @charlesjosephwrites @quilloftheclouds @notwritinganyflufftoday and anyone else who sees it and wants to do the tag! just say i tagged you!! :)

your words are: chill, crystal, dagger and wave

[hqbaby]

𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐭. 𝟏 | 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 (𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

previous | masterlist | next

(written portion! you can find a summary at the bottom if you have difficulty or simply don't feel like reading large chunks of text<33 word count: 539)

“Of course.”

You and Bokuto were sitting down on a bench by the rink with a thermos of hot chocolate passed between the two of you and a slice of cake he had brought for you from Tokyo.

“Really?” he beamed. “Are you really sure you wanna be with me?”

You smiled at him and nodded. “I said ‘of course’ didn’t I?”

The two of you had only just met a month before but, much to your surprise, you were more than ready to try a relationship with him. You may not have had the luxury of time to spend with each other but, in the month you had been in contact, you learned basically everything there was to learn about one another.

You were sure that your brothers would tease you about being be desperate for a relationship or something of that sort but you were also sure that they saw the way you looked at Bokuto and the way you talked about him when he wasn’t around. Kei could also attest to the fact that ever waking moment he had spent with the spiker had always involved your name being brought up in the conversation one way or another. Sure, maybe you were being dumb and young, but it didn’t matter. You loved him and he loved you. As strange as that was to think, you both knew it was utterly true.

“Of course!”

“No,” you said, frowning at your boyfriend of three months. “You’re not missing training just to watch me. You can watch the broadcast.”

Looking at you with wide eyes, Bokuto pouted. “I’ll train in Osaka,” he insisted. “I can do that.”

You shook your head, passing him a bag of his favorite chips. “I can’t let you do that,” you told him as he dejectedly placed the bag in the shopping cart. “You’re not just a member of the team, Kou, you’re the captain. You’re too important to miss a week of practice.”

Bokuto placed a carton of milk in the cart and sighed. “Fine,” he grumbled. “But I deserve cuddles when we get back home.”

“Alright,” you giggled. “Cuddles it is.”

“Of course.”

Your doctor had given you the go-ahead to travel to Tokyo for the volleyball inter-high and Bokuto was screaming on the phone over the good news.

“I get to see my baby!” he yelled, possibly damaging your eardrums in the process. “I’m gonna make you so proud!”

Your smile dropped when you caught sight of your leg wrapped up in its cast. As much as you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t help but feel pain whenever you remembered what the cast symbolized for your skating career.

It was literally a break.

Not just in your bones but a literal break from the ice. And that was still too much for you to handle.

“Baby, you good?” Bokuto asked when he noticed you’d gone silent.

You cleared your throat. “Oh, yeah,” you said. “Just got distracted by a bird in the window.”

Your boyfriend laughed. “Must be one ugly bird to distract you like that,” he said. “Are you sure you wanna come though? It won’t bother you at all.”

“Of course I wanna come,” you lied. “Of course."

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Y/N gets cleared to watch Nationals. She doesn't feel to psyched about it.

𝐚/𝐧 : i'm just not gonna say anything out of fear that i'll spoil it but yeah watch out for tomorrow's update<33

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 : @rory-cakes @marifujioka @moonlightaangel @taeatetea @strawberryw1ne @emsdesu @lilith412426 @rain-kissed-clouds @fucktheworlddude @loveprisms @gushinim @itoshibaby @succulentmom @borpcorp @pelicanpizza @onlyonew @mariachiii @undead-nyx @stuck-1n-space @iwaslovebug @sakusasimpbot @bokkunto @nachotrash @sof-ya13 @elianetsantana @shireen-19 @kamalymaly @kayleighbeccaa @halfpintwriter @tanakasimpcorner @lyricumsabiaflos @biancatomlinson @bakudummy @kotarousbabyowl @lifeisahoax (if your name is in bold i can’t tag you)

☏ 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦!

[midnightcrusader]

first light (8)

spike spiegel x oc

SERIES MASTERLIST

chapter eight/finale: breaking free

↳ word count: 7k

↳ spoiler warnings: ep.24,25,26

↳ other warnings: smoking, drinking, description of wounds, death mentions, angst, sadness, fluff:):):)

↳ songs mentioned: Heroes by David Bowie, I Want To Break Free by Queen

↳ a/n: this is the last chapter of this series... damn it, I grew too attached to it and it’s just as hard for me to say goodbye to First Light as it is for Rory to say that to Spike...

“Jet? The girls are gone."

Rory breathed heavily as she found herself on one of the most bustling streets of Tokyo. To her surprise, the city was unbelievable lively, having in mind that Earth was already destroyed and abandoned as the colonialism of the Sol System began almost a century ago.

She fixed her brown coat as the cold breeze started blowing. The dark clouds filled up the whole sky, silently awaiting for the rain to bring either salvation or the apocalypse itself.

But the apocalypse didn't exclude the salvation, right?

Rory Ray trembled at the thought of meeting her mother. Worse, she was afraid that someone had tricked into thinking she was going to finally reunite with her. So the woman brought not one, but two guns with herself, one hidden in the pocket of her coat, the second attached to her belt.

"Red Dragon it is," she mumbled to herself, standing in front of the bar her and her mother were supposed to meet. Sighing nervously, she plucked up all of her courage, stepping into the building.

It was empty.

Despite the bartender, no one was there. The crimson curtains surrounding the windows made Rory suspicious of her surroundings. The quiet always occurred before the storm. Holding frantically onto her gun, she slowly walked further, her breath still unsteady.

"No need for the bullets to be fired," a familiar woman voice spoke carefully, causing the scared engineer to turn around towards the source of it.

Rory quickly noticed an entrance to the hidden room as she decided to cautiously walk into it.

She looked astonishing. Her wavy, blonde hair reflected the light of the dimmed area. Her green eyes glowed with both excitement and calmness as she glanced towards her daughter. The carmine cape she was wearing hugged her tightly, making Rory question if she was even real.

"Is that really you?" Rory asked, her voice almost breaking as she spoke.

In the response the woman smiled, pointing at the chair in front of her, just as Rory was just another one of the people who came to her, wanting to be informed about their fate.

No hug. No embrace. No motherly comfort.

Just a single hand gesture.

"I haven't seen you for seventeen years," Rory whispered, looking down at her hands, not wanting to confront her entirely. "Seventeen fucking years," she repeated, her voice filled with anger and disappointment at the same time. "Why? Why did you leave? Weren't we good enough for you?" She didn't even realized she was sobbing the whole time. Her emotions were raw, she felt like being completely ripped apart.

"It has never been your fault, Aurora. Neither your father's," Marigold finally spoke, her tone completely still, an odd softness could be heard; almost like it was not fitting the situation.

"I know it's not! It was you, who destroyed us!" Rory yelled, her whole body shaking. She clenched her fist, her fingernails piercing through her skin.

"I've made some bad choices, Aurora," she said calmly, almost like she was purposely trying to make Rory lose her composure. Or maybe that was just Rory assumption. "I thought I could have helped the world, letting myself being burrowed in my own sentiments, while trusting the wrong people," she explained briefly, making Rory's brow furrow.

"As we all did!" Rory suddenly got up from her chair, her palms hitting the table that was between them. "But you know what's the difference between us? I try to fix my mistakes, I try to help as much as I can," she growled, her eyes filling with tears once again.

"Oh, of course you do. I know, Aurora," she responded calmly, not loosing her temper even for a moment.

"Yeah, I fucking-forgot you're a fortune teller now, you surely know every-fucking-thing in the entire universe!" Rory rolled her eyes, trying her best not to let the tears freely stroll across her cheeks.

"Aurora, I know I wasn't the best mother by leaving you," she whispered, her expression not changing for a second. "And I'm sorry. I truly am."

"Are you, now?" Rory sat back in the chair, her face filled with anger, her expression sour. "I thing you're trying to manipulate me. Maybe you are in debt that you can't pay off and remembered of the daughter you've left behind. Maybe you have a new family and you need someone to babysit your children, huh? Because I don't believe you're sorry. I fucking don't," Rory rambled as Marigold was silently listening to every word she said, just as calm as before.

"My days on this world are numbered, Aurora," she spoke emotionlessly, wearing only a warm smile.

"What?"

"I became a member of a syndicate, hence I left you and your dad," she explained, noticing how Rory's expression had changed. Her daughter was absolutely petrified at her words, however, she decided to continue. "I am a fortuneteller, that part is true. But my powers has been abused, causing me to join the Red Dragon," she continued and only now Rory realized what she was saying.

"This bar... Is it owned by them?" Rory asked, the tone of her voice differing from before.

"Yes. They have no clue I am going to be dead... they have no clue they're are going to be dead as well," she responded, for the first time during the conversation looking down as she closed her eyes.

"Why? If you know you're going to be killed, why don't you stop the person that's planning on doing that? You're a fortuneteller after all," Rory wondered, utterly perplexed at her mother's words. Her mind wasn't coping properly with the information she was receiving.

"That's not how my powers work, Aurora," she replied and only now Rory noticed her mother's hand was shaking. "I can sense the future, I can try to change it, yet this time my fortune is unavoidable. It has to happen in order to save the lives of others," she explained, grabbing her daughter's hand.

The first notion of comfort during their meeting.

"I don't understand," Rory shook her head as she finally allowed the tears to escape her eyes.

"You don't have to," Marigold sadly smiled towards her child.

The first sense of reunion during their meeting.

"Mom, why am I here?" Rory trembled, realizing she had just referred to her mother in the way she wanted to avoid. However, she knew something was about to happen. Marigold wanted to tell her something she wasn't ready to hear.

"Each person has their own guardian star that appears when they are born," Marigold started, not wanting to directly answer the question her daughter had just asked.

"That's bullshit, the universe don't work that way," Rory interrupted her, still holding her hand.

"Think about is as a metaphor, if you want to," Marigold softly smiled. "Sometimes the two stars shine close to each other. That means that the two people were meant to help and support themselves," she continued without hesitation in her voice as she noticed Rory shaking her head again.

"What do you mean by that?"

"His star is flickering with its last power. And it's you, who needs to save him," she explained properly, causing Rory to break their touch.

"No. No," Rory mumbled to herself as she rapidly got up. "He's not going to die too, is he?" Her voice, her hands, her whole body was shaking. She knew exactly about whom her mother was talking about, although having no idea how or why.

"Aurora, you're strong. You're brave. Even if you don't believe in that, you are. When the time comes, you will find yourself in the right place, in the right time. You'll know what to do," Marigold said, joining her daughter by standing up.

"Why are you telling me this?" Rory let out a loud sob, covering her face with her own palm.

"Because you have given up on your connection with him already... and you can't do that, you know it deep down in your heart," she explained, hugging her daughter for the first time in seventeen years.

"Can't I save you too?" Rory weakly answered, hugging her mother closer. "Mom, can't I save the both of you?" She cried aloud when she received no answer.

"The difference between me and him is that I am not meant to be saved. He is. It's the ongoing circle of life," she responded calmly, returning to her previous, calm state of mind. "You can't fix everything, yet you can do as much as you can when it comes to certain things."

She had just quoted Spike.

"Mom," Rory let out a single word, quickly breaking into another sob.

"In order to continue your life, you have to forgive your past, you have to close the chapter, while reckoning your ups and downs. This is the only way you can finally be happy," Marigold added, sitting back in her chair.

"I forgive you, mom," she silently whispered, locking glances with her mother. "And I apologize for saying those words to you," she cried, her body beginning to feel numb.

"Don't. You had all of the rights to do so." Marigold smiled softly, fully understanding the behavior of her daughter. "Now, go. Cherish your life, help as much as you can and let yourself finally achieve that happiness you long for so badly."

Happiness.

What is happiness?

~.~

Returning to Bebop was far from being pleasant. Although Rory stopped crying, her mind was blank, and the only emotion she felt was fear. She wished she spent more time with her mother. She wished Marigold wasn't going to die soon. With her hands trembling she landed her spaceship in hangar, only to notice the orange paint covering the front deck.

Bye bye

Rory felt the rest of her vital strength leaving her body, as she realized the smiley face painted under the message was resembling Edward's computer icons she had been using while hacking. Numbly walking towards the living area, she dropped her worn-out coat on the Bebop's floor, taking out a package of her cigarettes with her unsteady hands.

"She isn't coming back, is she?" Rory asked with the non-present tone, approaching slowly the yellow couch and the coffee table with five bowls of eggs in them; the three of them being already empty.

"Where have you been?" Jet asked, his voice as numb as Rory's.

"Just meeting with my mother," she explained monotonously, joining the two of the men at the couch as she reached for the boiled egg.

"What?" Jet furrowed his brow, clearly in the state of confusion. "She's alive?"

"Yeah. Not for long, however," she explained briefly, walking up to the living room's speaker with the Walkman she took out of her overalls' pocket.

"She's sick?" Spike mumbled, quite concerned at Rory's current state. She was never so quiet.

"Something like that," she quietly replied, plugging up a red wire to the both of the devices. "Hope you missed me and my music taste," she laughed, however, her tone was full of sorrow.

Returning to the couch she hummed along David Bowie's Heroes, as she bite on another egg Jet had prepared.

"And you, you can be mean. And I, I'll drink all the time," Rory sang silently, a smile appearing on her face as she looked carefully at Spike. "'Cause we're lovers. And that is a fact."

Her smile saddened as she looked down while eating the remaining eggs from the stark-white bowl. Jet and Spike remained silent, continuing to eat their meal, each of their minds traveling to its darkest places, while allowing themselves to be completely burrowed in despair and regret.

We could be Heroes, just for one day.

Concentrating on the lyrics of the song, a single tear escaped Rory's eye as she realized what the song suddenly meant to her, considering the latest events.

We're nothing, and nothing will help us. Maybe we're lying, then you better not stay. We could be safer, just for one day.

They were nothing, and there was nothing left that could possibly save them from their pity. They all lied everything was okay, almost like they were hidden behind the facades of fear that were meant to protect them. They were constantly stuck it the clichés of love, Jet with his previous spouse, Faye with Whitney, Spike with Julia, and Rory with Jack. Grabbing their coffee and beer, while their pasts were lurking through the blinds of their present, allowing the rainy days to completely cover their ability of their rational thinking, they were static. They acted like action meant more that words because they weren't able to express their emotions in any other way, hoping that someone, someday could repair what once was broken. Maybe they were lying, and maybe it was better for Ed to leave and choose her own, independent way of living, not regretting the past, just as they all did. Maybe she could be safer that way. Maybe she could be the one to finally break free. "Quit blasting that sappy music, kid. We've already had enough," Jet reprimanded him as she sent him a warm smile.

"As you say, old man."

~.~

"You wanna go for a drink, kiddo?" Jet carefully asked as he walked into Rory's room, only to find her silently smoking a cigarette while listening to the music.

"Yeah, not really," she murmured, inhaling the smoke. Her tone threw Jet completely off; she was never so silent, never so quiet.

"You never say no to drinking. What happened?" His question was filled with concern and confusion. He had no idea what she had just declined his invitation.!

"I, uh... I guess I'm pass that stage when I get drunk just to forget about the unpleasant things," she explained briefly.

"So you've matured by the span of one day? That's quite something," he mumbled, leaning on the metal wall of Rory's bedroom.

"I don't think I have... just came to the conclusion it's all pointless," she replied, getting up from her matters. "But I can accompany you... just in case," she added, not finishing her sentence.

"In case of what exactly?" Jet furrowed his brow, handing her over her coat.

"I don't know," she shrugged, giving him a smile that was far from being honest; it was a smile that meant to confirm everything was right, yet failed miserably to do so.

Rory, Jet and Spike left the ship without saying a word to each other. Being buried in ones thoughts, they had found their way to the tiny, obscure bar and sat behind the counter, ordering drinks. Rory was surprised at the disappearance of her usual urge to drink; normally she would loved to do so, yet now however, she felt like it was almost inappropriate. Remembering her mother's words hand reconsidering them, Rory had realized that being absent-minded was the worst thing she could possibly chose to do.

She didn't know when her help would be needed.

As that was the reason behind her current reasoning, she decided to stay as close to Spike as she could to fulfill her purpose.

Her hands didn't tremble. Her body wasn't paralyzed. Her mind was clear and ready for the action when needed. She was ready to protect those who she loved. She was ready to fire her gun and defend them. And most importantly, she was finally ready to forgive her past in order to become the person she wanted to be during her whole existence.

"...I understand now why you have this attitude about women and kids." Rory heard Jet speaking to Spike. "No offense, kiddo," he turned his head towards her, yet she just softly smiled in response.

"It's alright. I understand that as well," she responded, her face expression almost resembling her mother's from earlier on.

She didn't neither feel pain nor hurt. She completely understood Spike's reason to act the way he did, realizing that he didn't need to love her in order for her to protect him. Even if her feelings were one-sided and he didn't feel the same way, Rory reconciled with the notion of unrequited love. At that time she knew she could cope with whatever awaiting for her. She was strong. And she was courageous.

Silent footsteps and barely hearable noise, she recognized as being guns reloading, she shared a quick look at Jet and Spike before she even managed to say anything.

Had the time just come?

Getting down and hiding behind the bar, she took out her gun, trying to avoid the bullets. Misfiring her shots, she didn't give up, knowing that turning back and focusing on her mistakes lead her to absolutely anything. She was there. The present was the only thing that mattered at the moment. And she would do anything to keep her and her crew mates alive.

Managing to take down one of the shooters, Rory noticed Jet giving her a proud smile. That, however, was enough for him to completely lose his concentration as not a second after he was shot, the bullet entering his leg.

"Hold still," Rory ordered, nodding at Spike to non-verbally tell him he needed to protect them at the moment.

Quickly ripping the bottom of her shirt, she tied the yellow strip of fabric around Jet's thigh to partially stop the bleeding. It was almost like a flash of light when a men in a black coat appeared in front of them, causing Rory to rapidly point her gun at him.

"Ray! Don't shoot!" Spike yelled at her.

"You know him?" Rory asked, scanning the rest of the place as he nodded in response. Shooting at the other sniper, Rory managed to hear only the part of the conversation between Spike and the man who apparently was a brother of his acquaintance.

"Once you cross this line you can never come back to the syndicate," Spike warned the person, when Rory realized what he was talking about.

Red Dragon.

Her mother was a member of the same crime organization Spike had escaped from.

"Jet, I've told you to hold still!" Rory said as she noticed the Bebop owner wriggling to get the better view at the bar's scenery.

"...you're a target now. So is Julia." She heard the man in the black coat spoke, his statement causing her to stop for a second.

Spike was in danger. And Julia was alive.

"We have to take you to the doctor, there's too much blood," she added directly to Jet, focusing on her task again.

"You're scared of blood now, kid?" Jet laughed weakly, holding the fabric strip close to his wound.

"It's the artery that was injured. You can bleed out if you're not properly taken care of," she explained, helping him stand up by taking him by the arm.

"Where's your usual panic?" He continued, trying to occupy his mind with something else that the possibility of his death.

"Gone. Because there was never a place for it," she replied as Spike helped her with assisting Jet in walking. "You alright?" Rory asked him, wanting to make sure he was okay.

"Yeah," was the only thing he answered as they fled the bar.

~.~

Sitting on the yellow couch after getting back from the doctor was draining; simply because Jet had fallen asleep, Spike was in Rory's workshop working on his gun and the engineer herself wandered around the corridors with a cigarette in her mouth.

Waiting for what was about to come was the worst thing possible to ever happen. Not knowing what came next made people unsure. And tonight, Rory was one of them.

Spike hadn't said a word to her since they left the Loser Bar. Instead, he kept quiet, leaving her all to her thoughts.

Maybe it was Jet, who Rory was supposed to save? Her mother never specified who was the him she had mentioned when they met. There was probability that it was the ex-cop who needed her help. But then she remembered the whole conversation with Marigold.

You've already given up on your connection with him.

Spike was the only person, Rory could have associated that statement with. She had given up on her love towards him, she had given up on the possibility of him loving her back.

Rory shook her head, feeling the need to end the battle between her own thoughts. Suddenly she had an urge to approach the Bebop's window, not knowing what had caused her to do so. Looking at the stars, she noticed that one of them had rapidly disappeared, losing all of its light and shine. Not long after that the cassette in her Walkman unexpectedly stopped in the middle of the song, the device beginning to eat the tape.

Rory snorted, a sad smile entered her face as she realized what was happening.

"I love you, mom. Have a peaceful afterlife," she whispered towards the, now gone star, connecting the event to the words her mother said before.

"So your mother was a member of the Red Dragon, right Aurora?" Spike's voice suddenly spoke, causing Rory to turn to its source. He didn't sound pitiful or sarcastic, he asked in his usual monotonous manner that hadn't contained any emotions.

"You've read the mail," she stated, softly smiling towards him. She didn't feel like he had just invited her privacy. To be honest, it was quite comforting he knew about it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Spike mumbled, his worried expression betraying the tone of his voice.

"Because you've taught me something," she responded, ready to continue further as his brow furrowed. "We have to deal with our pasts on our own if we want to finally forgive ourselves," she added, however, receiving no answer. "And I'm sorry I've tried to fix you by myself. I haven't realized it was pointless."

"Don't apologize," he interrupted her, slowly getting closer. "You are an amazing woman. You care for others, you cared for me. That was more than I've even expected."

"I still do." This time it was Rory who interrupted him. "I still care. But I know you have to do certain things by yourself and... if you ever needed help... I'll be there," she assured him, feeling the familiar sense she earlier misunderstood as feeling sick in her stomach.

"I appreciate it," he only said, taking his time as their eyes locked, only to return to her workshop again.

Having not talked to her mother before, Rory would have been close to tears at any moment now. However, she currently stood still, watching him walking away with a smile on her face, only to hear a few minutes after that someone had entered the hangar.

Genuinely grinning, while recognizing the sound of Faye Valentine's engine, she speeded towards the place where she had just landed, hugging her closely as she returned.

"Hey, you good, Ray?" Faye sadly laughed, noticing the other woman plastered to her chest.

"They're all mad at you, so be glad I'm happy," Rory joked as Faye playfully smacked her in the arm.

"I-I need to talk to Spike," she responded not that late after, her expression changing.

"He's in my workshop," Rory responded, realizing that the thing Faye was about to tell him was far from being pleasant to the both of them.

Standing in the hangar, she lit up another cigarette, only to hear the footsteps coming her way as something collided with Bebop, making the whole ship shake. She was prepared for the worst, ready to jump into her own spaceship and help Spike with whatever Faye was trying to tell him.

"I don't have any money!" Spike yelled at Faye, quickly getting into his Swordfish.

"She said she'll be waiting there! She said you'd know what she meant!" Faye shouted, trying to catch up to him as he put on his gloves.

For the first time that day Rory had frozen, however, she silently tried to approach both Spike and Faye.

"Well, I don't. Sorry."

"Her name is Julia!"

It was now Spike whose body was completely paralyzed. He franticly looked around the hangar, his gaze finally meeting Rory's one.

The sorrow had finally come, leaving nothing but the notion of broken heart in Rory's chest. Quickly taking a deep breath, she remembered her mother's words once again this day. And maybe saving Spike meant Rory should let him go. Maybe saving him included finally reuniting with the love he thought he had lost.

"Go to her," Rory whispered, hiding the despair in her voice. "Find her. Try to be finally happy," she added, noticing him nod in her direction.

"Hey, Jet! I'm ready to take off!" Spike shouted at the man in the cockpit, leaving the hangar rapidly.

"I'm sorry," Faye mumbled, looking at Rory with pity in her eyes.

"He deserves the love he longs for," Rory whispered to herself, more than to Faye, inhaling the cigarette she had forgotten to smoke.

Spike deserved to be loved.

~.~

Bebop had never been so quiet before. Rory recalled the numerous times when she was begging for a moment of tranquility. Now, she couldn't hear Ed's cheerful voice as she played with Ein. Faye's usual complains were nowhere to be found. Jet wasn't humming, while making a meal for them and Spike wasn't trying to find another pointless argument to bicker about.

It was different. And this time the difference was odd.

Rory thought that the possibility of saving Spike would bring her peace of mind and the general happiness. Yet, she felt nothing but emptiness and regret, founding herself in the state of the complete despair, covered with the catatonic lack of movement of her body. She sat on the mattress without pillows, only in the shirt that once belonged to Spike.

Maybe the choice she made wasn't right. Maybe letting Spike go wasn't going to help the both of them at all. Maybe she was throwing away her chance to help him as he needed her aid.

She didn't want to fail her mother. She didn't want to fail herself. And most importantly she didn't want to fail the man she loved.

If he was going to end up dying because of her, she would have never forgiven herself, no matter how hard she had possibly tried.

Breathing unsteady, she laid down, letting the sob escape her mouth. Had she been acting the whole time since her meeting with her mother? Probably. She tried to put on the fearless persona, only to fight the inner urge of facing the difficulties all by herself. But only now, she realized it wasn't her.

Rory Ray had a lot of bad habits; but biting her nails, blasting the music on her Walkman a bit to loud, burring herself in her work, smoking overpriced cigarettes and drinking cheap alcohol were nothing, compared to her need to getting rid of her true personality when the time came. She tried to reject her true self in order to appear more brave and courageous than she was. She tried to be the best person, yet she was failing each time.

And only now Rory Ray, the Bebop engineer, the orphaned, lost girl realized she couldn't fight with herself. Telling herself it would be alright if she had just stopped overthinking everything was a mistake.

She had the full right to feel the way she felt. She had the full right to speak out. She had the full right to finally be happy.

And she was going to be.

Putting on her overalls and her coat she left her room in the hurry, walking into the dimmed corridor of her beloved ship. Adjusting her guns to her belt, quickly grabbing her shoes she walked into the living room and instantly gasped at the sight of two men, casually eating a dinner together.

"Spike."

"Rory."

"I-What ha..," she stopped herself in mid-sentence before she had the chance to ask the pointless question. "I'm sorry," she whispered, realizing what must have happened for him to come back.

"It's fine," he answered, finishing his meal as he walked up to the entrance of the hallway, Rory was standing in.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Jet furrowed his brow, not receiving an answer from neither of them.

"I have to go, Rory," Spike mumbled, looking directly into her eyes.

"I'm coming with you," she rapidly answered, beginning to put on her boots as his hand stopped her.

"No. I may not come back," he softly said, moving forward to the exit of the living area.

"That's why I have to come with you," she replied, her breath unsteady.

She had just got the second chance to save him. She couldn't possibly throw it away.

"No. Jet, don't let her out of this ship." With Spike's words spoken, Jet nodded, quickly approaching Rory and grabbing her hand.

"No! You don't understand!" Rory cried, watching Spike leaving the room, his footsteps followed by Faye's voice and the gunshots she fired in her own despair. "Jet! Let me go! I need to— I have to—!" Rory wriggled, her whole body panicking.

Soon she heard the Swordfish leaving the Bebop's hangar for the second time that day, her whole face covered with tears, as Jet tried to calm her down.

"Jet! Are we just going to let him die?!" Rory screamed, desperately trying to move forward.

"I can't let you die too, kid!" Jet yelled, his own eyes filling with tears for the first time in years.

"And I can't let him die!" Her voice was filled with anger and despair at the same time. She had no clue how to convince Jet to let her go, and she knew it was the part she needed to be a member of.

"Do you love him?" Jet asked, his tone completely changed.

"What?"

"Do you love him?" He repeated himself, slowly letting go of Rory's hand he was holding.

"I-I... yes," she admitted, completely confused.

"Then go after him. Try to save him," he mumbled, the regret of his decision disappearing as soon as he noticed the happiness appearing on Rory's face.

"Thank you, thank you," she repeated over and over, running towards the exit.

"Be careful, kid!"

Rory's breath suddenly became steady, her hands still as ever, her body feeling numb no more. She left the hangar as quick as she could, trying to figure out Spike's destination course, yet without any success. She didn't know his coordinates, hence he had his navigation system completely turned off. But she wasn't panicking; she was focused. And she would try anything she could just not to let him die.

"Kid! Can you hear me?" Jet's voice rang through the speakers of the Starman.

"Yes, old man. What's up?"

"Remembered the cop program I have installed? Well, the police has reported a place of shooting just now. I'll send you the coordinates," he explained and soon after that Rory received the information appearing on her computer. "Me and Faye are going to join you."

"Thanks," she replied quickly and stopped herself a second before turning off her microphone. "Hey, Jet," she called, a small smile entering her face.

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"I love you. As a fucked-up uncle you are," she laughed genuinely, her spaceship beginning to find itself on the route to her destination.

"I-I love you too, reckless niece," he chuckled back. "Just don't get yourself killed, please," he added once again before logging off.

"I'll try," Rory said to herself, entering the atmosphere of the planet Spike was at. "Screw it, I won't try, we'll fucking make it alive," she corrected herself, feeling the adrenaline levels in her body rising to their extends.

Landing down, she rapidly took out one of her guns and jumped off of her spaceship, ready for the missions she was meant to complete.

"Hey! Hey, woman! You can't come in here! It's a crime scene!" A policeman's yell was completely ignored by Rory who simply sprinted up the stairs, only to realize the building she found herself in was absolutely huge.

Noticing the dead bodies of the syndicate, she followed their trail, choosing stairs instead of the lift, quickly passing by the confused cops. Her whole body felt non-human. She wasn't getting tired from running up the stairs, she wasn't exhausted from speeding through the corridors. She was going to safe him, no matter how hard it was going to be.

After finding herself on the rooftop of the building, the cops were already there, watching the, now, motionless body of Vicious laying on top of the stairs, only to notice barely alive Spike, unsteady on his legs, pointing a finger-gun on them after collecting all of his strength to say:

"Bang."

"Spike!" Rory yelled on top of her lungs, racing towards the man who had just fell down the stairs. "Spike," she repeated his name, this time whispering, as she kneeled beside him.

"Rory? What... what are you doing here?" Spike mumbled, feeling all of his vital strength leaving his body.

"Shh, Jet will be here soon. It's alright," she murmured softly, gently turning him to the side as she began to examine his wounds.

"I... never meant to run away... with Julia... again," he tried to say as he breathed heavily, frantically reaching for the air.

"Shh, don't speak," she whispered, ripping another part of her shirt just to wrap around one of the wounds.

"I wanted... ugh... to forgive my past... as you told me to..," he continued, wanting to confess the things he wasn't and might not have been able to ever again.

"Spike, please, safe your strength," she said to him, praying that Jet would arrive soon.

"And I hope... you could forgive me too..."

"I do, Spike, but please, try to stay alive," she rambled, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

"You woke me up from my dream," he managed to whisper as he finally closed his eyes.

"Spike!"

~.~

"Kid, you should eat something. You have been stuck to this couch for days!" Jet's voice filled the living area where Rory had stayed for the past couple of days. As soon as he came to the building, finding Rory in the depths of her despair and sorrow, yelling at Spike to wake up, she had stayed by his side, never leaving him, even for a second.

The doctor that patched Spike up, stated that the convalescence would be long and painful, even for the Bounty Hunter himself. And there was no assurance he was going to wake up; of course, he was breathing, yet he could have stopped at any second.

"I'm not leaving him," Rory mumbled, silently smoking her cigarette.

"Ray, come on. You've done everything you could," Faye interrupted, standing beside the woman.

"I'm not leaving him," she repeated, almost like she was in trance.

"I'll make you some pasta, what do you think?" Jet asked with a fatherly tone, knowing he won't receive an answer from her.

"You... are a terrible cook..."

"Spike!" The three of the crew mates shouted in unison, their happiness and gratefulness reaching its most memorable level.

"Shut up and give me a cigarette," he mumbled, slowly opening his eyes.

"I've told the doctor to bandage that goddamn mouth!" Jet yelled, making his comrades laugh.

"Come on, Jet. Let's leave them be," Faye giggled softly, pointing at Rory who was visibly waiting to talk to Spike alone.

As they left, no words seem to escape Rory's mouth. There was so much she wanted to tell him, there was so much on planning to do, yet, she couldn't managed to process her own thoughts into sentences.

"So, am I now some sort of a trophy? You surely keep looking at me like I was one," Spike quietly chuckled, as he began to got up.

"Hey, hey, hold your horses, Cowboy. You're supposed to be resting," she laughed, gently putting her hand on his arm.

"Come on, I've been resting enough," he replied, placing his palms on her waist. "I hate this couch, have I ever told you that?"

"No," Rory shook her head, as Spike noticed the purest smile appearing on her face. "What?" Her question was asked simply because it was him now, who sheepishly looked at her.

"We're going to the cockpit," he stated, slowly getting up. "I like to smoke there," he added, accepting the arm Rory had held in front of him, just to help him walk.

"I... was afraid you were going to..."

"Die? And leave you alone with the poor cook and an obnoxious woman?" Spike chuckled as they found their way to the highest part of the ship.

"My mother told me I was supposed to save you," she admitted, observing Spike who now was trying to sit on the metal floor.

"And you did. Not once, if I'm being honest," he admitted, quickly grabbing her hand and making her sit down beside him. "Now, a cigarette," he dramatically demanded, holding his palm open.

"Oh, you son of a..," Rory laughed, handing him over a pack of her Marlboro Golds.

"Rory?" Spike asked after a moment of silence.

"What's up?"

"Thank you. Honestly," he said, a genuine smile on his face.

"No, it's me who's supposed to be thankful," she objected, getting up to face him. "For all of this time I thought I knew who I was... I was wrong. I've tried to figure myself out a multiple times. At sixteen I thought Jack was my first light, he helped me escape, he showed me the galaxy... yet he left me with nothing but emptiness. Then, I thought it was Jet. That goddamn cop saved me numerous times and fuck, I'm so grateful for having him but... it just wasn't it. So I continued living on, lying to myself everything was fine. Then, I reunited with my mother, and I thought of her as being my light for a couple of days... and although she wasn't, she made me realized I've already met my first light. I met him three years ago when he stepped into that very deck, I hated him at the beginning but at the end I've fallen in love... it was you, Spike. You are my first light."

Spike remained silent for a bit, glancing only over his cigarette, just to burst in laugh a second later.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" Rory looked at him, utterly confused, wondering if she hadn't said too much unnecessary information.

"No, it's just," he chuckled, holding his chest not to worsen his wounds. "You have quite an odd way of expressing your feelings," he explained, laughing at her visible confusion.

"Yeah, I'm not good at it," she admitted, subconsciously biting her lip.

"I love you too, mechanic. It has just took me a long time to say it," he confessed, once again reaching for her waist.

"I'm not a mechanic, I'm an engineer!" Rory squealed, carefully hugging him.

"Whatever you say," he smirked, planting a kiss on her lips. "Rory?"

"Hm?"

"I don't want to run away from my past anymore... I want to live in the present," he spoke, not bothered with the sudden honesty. He didn't need to at that moment. "I want to live in the present with you," he clarified as Rory was the one who kissed him now.

"Okay, but you have to beware of my music taste. And Space Beer. And my rambling. Oh! I also snort when I sleep."

"Yeah, I've noticed," he laughed, watching her getting up once again as she searched for something in the pockets of her overalls. "And what are you doing now?"

"Well, turns out I don't want live in the past too," she shrugged, a mischievous smile appearing of her lips. "And since I can stream my music, I guess I don't need the only thing that's holding me back," she explained, throwing the Walkman she was searching for to the ground and unexpectedly stomping on it. "Do you maybe like Queen?"

"I guess I don't have a choice," he snorted as he reached out for another cigarette form her pack.

Rory grinned, approaching the computer as she put on the speakers I Want To Break Free and began humming to its words. Spike watched her theatrically twirling around the cockpit, not entirely hitting every note of the song, yet he didn't mind. To him, she was beautiful. The was perfect in her imperfect way.

"I've fallen in love for the first time! And this time I know it's for real!" Rory sang the song on the top of her lungs as she sat back down next to Spike, kissing him tenderly.

"Tell me you're dating now," Faye sighed, making her way towards the two.

"We might," Spike responded nonchalantly, putting his hand back on Rory's waist and hugging her close to his chest.

"I'm going to vomit. And I've just made you the fucking dinner," Jet complained, sitting beside Faye as he handed them over their plates.

"Damn it, old man. Why don't you become a waiter, look at you! Four plates, one time!" Rory called, quickly grabbing her fork and beginning to consume her pasta.

"Yeah, and I've heard you weren't hungry," Jet rolled his eyes, however a smile had just appeared on his lips.

"You have one message," an automatic tone filled the cockpit as Faye pressed the enter button with her feet.

"And who might it be?" Rory laughed, resting her head on Spike's arm.

"Careful, now. Saving me doesn't mean you're allowed to lay your enormous head on my wounds," Spike smirked, saying those things only to bicker with her.

"Hey Bebop! How are you?" A girly voice rang the speakers, receiving the same reaction from all of the crew mates — happiness. "Ed and Ein wanted to tell you we're doing fine! Hey! Ein! Don't bite the wire! I've just gave you food! Anyways! Have fun hunting bad guys! See 'ya!" The message ended, leaving Jet, Spike, Faye and Rory with the biggest smiles possible.

They were breaking free.

taglist: @sarashitposts @nathaslosttheirshit @chai-blu @kagun3s @aliensandthings @envythevamp

[whumpingcrow]

Chapter 6 (Gio POV)

Bad Dogs Sleep Outside

CW: bbu and everything in relation to that, discussion of conditioning/training/brainwashing, trauma/ptsd themes, noncon drug use, noncon/dubcon touching and kissing, lady whumper, intimate whumper, multiple whumpers, physical assault, dehumanizing language/themes, emotional whump, weather whump (is that a thing?), strangulation mention (let me know if i missed anything!)

Everything sounds very far away. It's a thing I keep noticing over and over again, like my mind is a carousel and there's only one little man riding in circles, screaming "Hey! Everything sounds really far away!" each time he goes around. How do I remember what a carousel is? What a bizarre thing to linger around after everything else was beaten out of me. It's so bizarre that I laugh. That sounds far away, too.

"Watcha laughing at?" Rory asks me, her voice a murmer across a million mile void from her throat to my head. I look up at her from my spot on the floor. She's so beautiful, her once electric blue hair is fading out to a light blue-ish blonde, which looks like a silvery halo, the way the light is catching it right now. I smile at her. Nicko should be drawing pictures of her, and it makes me feel somewhat disgusting that I have the one he drew for me taped up to the wall next to the beanbag, because I'm most definitely not living, breathing art that needs to be captured on paper, Rory is.

I can't remember her question, but the fear that ties my stomach into knots because I am so stupid and need to be listening better, also feels far away. Whatever drug she gave me this time is amazing. I never want to stop feeling this way. I want to be as far away from myself as possible all the time, if I could I would get a restraining order against myself. Why do I remember what a restraining order is? Restraining orders and carousels stayed behind but not guitars or names of people I think I used to know? Why'd they have to break me up so jagged like that? None of my pieces fit together anymore, no matter how many times I've tried to glue them back together.

But right now, the pieces of me that are the most functioning are the most shattered and re-mended of all; the sharp edges of training. I remember it all, even if it's just down to muscle memory sometimes. I don't have to try so hard to think about why I'm doing something or what it means, it just is. I do this now, kneeling in front of Rory, tentatively hovering by her leg, making it obvious I want to be closer. I know that, with some of the trainers, being soft like this was sometimes reward-worthy, or at the very least would stop them from hurting me for a little while.

"You're so beautiful," I breathe, realizing that she's still looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer to the question I'm stupid enough to have forgotten in the five seconds since she's asked it. She blushes, then smiles at me. Her hands find their way to my hair and she runs her fingers through some of the tangles.

"You're such a darling, you know that?" Her voice is like a song, her fingernails scratching behind my ear is driving me crazy. I feel myself pressing into her touch, and I hear her laugh softly. It makes me warm all over. I want her to look at me how she's looking at me right now all the time, jaded blue eyes downcast at me, shining in amusement behind the dullness of the drugs, like sunshine reflecting off shattered glass discarded in a dirty puddle. And I love the way she sounds when she says things like that, that I'm darling. I want her to say more stuff like that, so I keep going.

I lean toward her, tipping my head back to get a better look at her. "Rory," I whisper, "you're like an angel, miss."

She smiles wider at me, then drags one of her sharp nails against my jaw and down my throat. A chill goes down my spine, and I sigh just a little at it. "Why don't you come up on the bed with me, Gio?" Her voice is real low and silky when she says it, it echos across the vast canyon that I feel is separating me from reality. I remember when I first got here, she told me her name was like the princess I was too stupid to know (how fucking irritating that I remember what a carousel is and not whoever Rory was talking about) and I think now that the title fits her. Nicko's called her that a few times, "Princess", and it feels like the most honest thing he's said.

Slowly, I grab onto the too-soft sheets and pull myself to my feet. The ground is nothing but static underneath me, for a second I'm scared I'll drop through it and fall endlessly into hell. I can't help but think that's where I'll end up, and it scares me shitless that I might be going there right now. So I collapse onto the bed next to Rory, keeping my eyes focused on the floor to make sure it's still there.

Rory loops her fingers around my neck loosely and forces me to turn my head to look at her. She's staring holes into my skin, her gaze suddenly so intense it reminds me of Master. I close my eyes. I don't want to think of him, towering over me and watching me with that same look as I would tremble and sob and beg him to just be done already. Rory's finger is right over my pulse, and I pray that she doesn't add any pressure.

She smells like smoke and alcohol and perfume, and her breath is brushing my cheek when she says "It's so cute when you say things like that." Then her lips fall against my cheek, then my jaw, then she moves her hand and kisses over my pulse. I draw in a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed. I wonder if her lipstick is coming off on my skin where she kisses me. And, just when I think I might fall over in the euphoria that comes with her touching me so gently, her lips are against my own, hands cupping my face to keep me still. As if I would ever dream of not letting her do this to me.

She kisses me sloppily, with tongue and teeth, and I'm grabbing hard at the sheets and trying to put myself back into my body so I can actually experience it. But no matter how hard I try, everything is still so far away. "Hey!" The little guy on the carousel screams. "Everything is very far away!"

Even when her hands are sliding down my chest, and over my waistband, I don't really feel it, even when she's taking my lip into her teeth and biting like she's trying to draw blood, it's not my pain, not really. Even when the door opens and slams shut and I hear Nicko's booming voice asking us "What the fuck are you doing?!", it hurts my ears but I don't really process it.

Only when Rory snaps away from me and I feel hands grabbing me hard and ripping me off the mattress do I feel somewhat present, and Nicko is grabbing the collar of my shirt tightly and his furious face is right in front of mine, and I'm afraid.

"Why the fuck are you tounging my girlfriend, you fucking freak?!" He shouts at me. I try my best to cower away from him, but his grip is too tight, he really wants me to see how angry he is. Hot tears are in my eyes, I can't force my brain to come up with an apology, so I just stare up at him as he shouts at me. And then he must decide that yelling isn't enough, and he pulls back and punches me in the nose.

"Nicko stop it!" I hear Rory shriek, but it seems to only egg him on more, and he hits me again. This time I notice that the floor is pressed up against my back, or I guess I'm splayed out on the floor, it's hard to tell, my world feels all upside down. And my face is throbbing, I think, and I can't tell if it's hard to see because of the pain or if I just don't have my eyes open all the way. Through all of that, though, I remind myself to be quiet. Nicko's already so angry, the only thing I can do is stay silent and observe him landing brutal kicks against me, now. I find myself wondering what I did to deserve this, everything is so muddled and confusing I'm not even sure who's hitting me anymore.

"I'm sorry," I plead to the hands, trying to put as much remorse into my voice as I can, but it only comes out mangled and exhausted. Not good enough, they hit me again. I try another time, "ple-please, I'm sorry!"

Then I'm being picked up off the ground, hands reaching out of the dense, fuzzy cloud of confusion surrounding me and pulling me gruffly to my feet. I'm dragged out of the bedroom, I can hear Rory shouting at Nicko to let me go, and I look up to see him glaring forward, not even looking at me. He's livid, even more angry than the day he shouted when I passed out at the shop. My lungs feel like they're full of cement, Nicko is mad at me! I am so stupid and annoying and worthless and

"I'm so sorry!" I sob out. He ignores me.

We pass by one of Nicko's other roommates as he drags me down the hall, he's never said a word to me before, but he always looks at me with vague disgust when he's around. I think his name is Ben. Now, his disgust is warped with horror, his eyebrows twisted into a tight frown and his mouth hanging open as Nicko drags me along next to him. He doesn't say anything. I wish it were Salem. Salem would have said something. I wonder when he'll back from work, if I'll be able to sneak away from Nicko and Rory long enough to see him. That is, if I even live that long. The way Nicko is handling me carelessly, with a drunken, vengeful look in his eyes, I don't have much hope that I will.

He opens the sliding door to the backyard, where snow covers nearly every surface, the porch light soaks all of it in a rusty orange glow. It makes me feel hollow inside when Nicko drags me out there. I'm not wearing shoes or socks, hardly wearing pants, and Nicko seems to only give me thin t-shirts instead of heavy sweaters like he and Rory wear.

The cold knocks my breath away, especially when Nicko tosses me down to the ground. The snow feels almost sharp against my skin, like it's cutting into me. I refuse to make any sound. Nicko is mad enough. He approaches me slowly, I only dare to look at his huge black boots approaching, I don't lift my head, I don't look up at him. I don't deserve to. He crouches down in front of me, sliding his belt out of the loops in his jeans slowly.

"You're fucking sick, you know that?" He says. I flinch away from his voice, and then he's sitting me up, leaning me against one of the wooden pillars holding the awning up. "You don't seriously think she wants you, right? I mean, look at you, you're pathetic. You're not even a fucking person anymore, Giovanni. Do you get that? She doesn't want you..." he presses me closer to the beam I'm leaning against, I feel splinters in my back already. He's so fucking scary like this, and I absolutely hate myself for pushing him into such horrific anger. I'm so horrible. I deserve this. I deserve this and so much more. He brings the belt up, looping it around my neck and the pillar, tightening it so I can't move. If I relax even an inch it would strangle me, I'm sure of it, I'm barely able to get in ragged breaths already. Nicko stands up. "She just wants the attention."

I can hardly see him through tears in my eyes as he stands up, hovering over me for a moment. I want him to let me down, I want to go back inside and put on Salem's sweater that I keep hidden, I want Nicko to like me again, I hate when he's this angry. I say nothing, because I deserve this. Because I'm horrible.

"You'll sleep out here tonight, so you can really learn your lesson."

His blurry silhouette turns away from me. I can't move enough to watch him walk all the way inside, but I hear the door close, then I hear it lock. When I'm sure I'm alone, I start to cry.

[ofcowardiceandkings]

hello rory i would like to hear more about your kitten

hi liddy !!!

shes terrible and perfect lol

that’s artemis (artie, tiny, fartymis)

her personality is mischief and food with a generous side of Chase It , nothing in that brain but air and naughty , and lots of purring and shouting about things !! everything must be about her !!!

her body is all fur like a soft soft cloud and Magnificent Whiskers with concerned face , all of which she as always had , slapped on a non-newtonian liquid (im fairly sure at this point she has no bones)

poppy is a very patient lady to put up with her nonsense and they get on pretty well !! especially because we picked her up from the previous adopter because she was a barely handled baby that didnt like their meanie other cat !! they bicker because cats, and usually because poppy is just minding her own business taking a nap when someone with the pointy hands and face thinks thats boring

but mostly they run around chasing nothing much and each other .... she yells about how mean poppy is but mostly she’s just trying to give artie a bath even when the small is trying to chee through poppy’s thick fur (she is dirt girl, loves wrecking potted plants and rolling about in it) the idea had grown on tiny child and she occasionally scoots up and asks for a face wash now , its very baby of her ;3;

she loves carrying toys or IDTs (items designated as toys) around ... she’s currently got a ball of tissue paper, a packing peanut, and a chicken tailfeather on rotation ... not any of her toys we bought

[no photo evidence because she is speedy and loves to dust under furniture with her whiskers]

Correct Dosage of Liquid Cat Babey

thanku for staying for this presentation about my awful daughter have a good day

[duskittycat]

whichever english major wrote this description for sea fairy cookie on the kingdom wiki is down BAD bad huh

[helenazbmrskai]

ONE TIME BOY [SPACE] FRIEND

👠Pairing: Jimin x fem! reader 👠Genre: makeover au, best friends to lovers au, gender bender au, beauty contest au 👠Warnings: light smut, semi-public oral (f and m receiving), mirror kink, cameo crazy girl hungry to be miss universe lol 👠Summary: Rejected by your long-time crush using the excuse of not being girly enough your best friend offers you his shoulder to cry on, his eyes land on the daily newspaper advertising the local beauty contest and he gets an excellent idea.  

👠Words: 10k

👠Masterlist

”Man, I’m impressed you got an A in Mrs Hoster’s class. It’s notorious that she’s a real bitch with gradings.” I hear the rustling of papers and an oddly familiar laugh overpowering the previous noise the corridor is empty despite those two and me apparently. I stop in my tracks not intently but hiding behind the corner, they have no idea I’m here it’s a blind spot but hearing his voice getting stronger they need to be walking this way.

Mrs Hoster? I’m in her class too. I peek around the corner to see to whom this voice belongs to it’s badly familiar.

”Y/N helped me write the essay so it was an easy job.”

I turned around just in time to avoid getting caught. I closed my eyes for a split second the cold white wall helped me to steady the beating of my heart. It’s Han and his friend I recall his name is something Wu? I’m not sure I don’t interact with Han’s friends he’s the one who always hangs around my friends.

”Did you slept together?” Wu asks and my face turns red immediately. How vulgar not that I’m surprised just caught off guard. Han laughs again.

”No, I’m not interested in girls like her. She’s like a boy.” Looking down on my clothes the baggy shirt and ripped jeans my hair is long at least. I know I’m not the most stylish girl on campus but calling me a boy was a bit harsh considering I wrote everything in that essay of his the only thing he did is writing down the title but I’m not going around school telling my best friend he’s stupid.

”I know, I can’t believe she’s roommates with Jimin maybe he thinks she’s another dude or something too.” The audacity.

”Don’t mention him he keeps his guards on whenever he sees me with her it’s annoying. I’m lucky she’s wiped because knowing that guy his humanitarian soul already told her she’s used and I need my grades. The only thing she’s usable for is homework.” The annoyance is evident in his voice I don’t need to look to imagine how he pinches his nose between two of his fingers while talking.

My teeth clashed together with anger. Calling me a boy is one thing but pulling the honey string before my nose is something only a jerk would do. Yes, he’s handsome I admit that and I hoped for something to go forward between us and how foolish I was to think that. He wanted to think we stand a chance it was his plan all along and he used me. Jimin warned me. He told me this will happen.

"Are you seriously going to stop being Han's little puppy?" The question stirs me awake I feel like someone under a spell after what I witnessed I became awfully quiet around my friend and she noticed the change in my behaviour immediately. We arranged this meet up before I overheard the conversation with Han in fact I was on my way to her when it’s happened my mood was pretty good. I can’t tell the same half an hour later.

I stop mid-bite and aim my sauce-covered index finger to poke her nose but she dodged it before I could ruin her makeup. I abandon the plan and instead I use a napkin to clean my hands I look down on my plate which is still full of comfort food I thought that if I drown myself in junk food it would lift my mood but I couldn't be any more wrong about this.

Rori almost doesn't catch the sound of my tired sigh because of the Mcdonalds’ heavily crowded space by the time lunchtime rolled around the corner it's a miracle that we were able to find a tiny table with two seats inside.

"I wasn't his puppy." I spit the words out gnashing my teeth. Not very ladylike but bloody hell that I would care since I’m a boy I may act like one. "Also it was just a silly crush not that it will ever be more. It's time to move on. I'm too old to have this stupid high school like interest." Yes, I’m a grown-ass woman studying at a University.

"Uh-huh." Rori rolls her eyes suspicious about my sudden change of heart if I'm going to, be honest, there is nothing more that could go wrong on this day I tripped in front of at least 10 people when I was going to the toilet just before I was going to tell my friend how I was humiliated by my crush of 2 years. A very good day if you ask me.

"Jimin knows about this?" I look her dead in the eye conveying the message without words knowing where this conversation going I abandon my food entirely I nibble on my straw drinking my medium-sized coke occasionally. "So he doesn't." She states it sarcastically with her light green gel polished nails annoyingly drumming on the surface of the table.

"It's none of his business anyway." I drink the last drops of the coke before tossing the empty cup on the tray nearly knocking the fries out of their container.

"Why the sour face Y/N. He would be upset if he heard that. Aren't you guys are like besties and stuff?"

Now is not the time to be jealous.

"He's not a cry baby Rori. And we are best friends without the 'besties and stuff'. I thought you liked him." She nods in confirmation stealing one of my fries chewing them in a manner that makes people disgusted.

”We are besties and stuff.” I tell her with a grin and she finally smiles too. We’re like two peas in a pot the memory is still vivid when I first bumped into her quite literally. I was panicking since I didn’t know the route to my first class and on top of that I overslept on my first day she was no better.

”But back to the topic, girl, I’m on your side Han is a five-star shit head. I’m glad you finally realised that.” She’s right like always.

”The resident fuckface, huh?” I sent her a lopsided smile and she raised her hand to give me a thumbs up. Her favourite game is to give people alternative names. Han’s called the resident bad boy around here, she has an alternative option that I begin to like more and more.

”That’s the spirit. Want a ride? It’s going to rain soon.” Rori uses the napkins to clean our mess on the table. There’s no need for sherlock to see why we are still single. We eat like a pig starved for days. Looking out the window her words seem to be accurate the clouds covered the sun and the temperature decreased.

”Nah. I’m just going to be like the protagonist in your favourite rom-com and walk home in the pouring rain sadness devouring my soul while I drench like a homeless.”

Rori rolled her eyes at my dramatic response. ”That was awfully specific.” I shrug, getting up to dispose of the leftovers into a nearby bin.

 With my eyes glued to the screen I pop another sickeningly sweet caramel popcorn into my mouth I surrounded myself with fuzzy blankets enjoying the late afternoon with binge-watching my all-time favourite series. Warming my cold feet under the comforter I remind myself not to forget to turn down the heater around the time Jimin comes home.

My hair is wetly clinging to my back soaking the headrest of the sofa I take a glance outside it’s still raining hard. As soon as I got home I changed my clothes but let my hair dry itself without making any effort it doesn't matter if I get sick or not. This way maybe I can avoid Han for a few days at least. Walking in the rain like a kicked puppy was not something I anticipated while waking up this morning but I guess I have to work with what I have.

After I was beyond the sadness the anger came, remembering all the times when he asked me to help with his essays or research projects and like a fool, I went out of my way to do that. It's for the better honestly if I observe the situation from a different perspective he was just using me and it's time for me to get over this silly crush of mine. I don’t even know what was I thinking.

Knowing what’s best is one thing but I'm still hurting I was pinning after him for over two years we share the same classes and we run in the same circles of friends. How can I possibly avoid him when I have to see him every day and skipping classes is not an option? It’s ridiculous and I’m not five anymore to solve my problems cowardly.

The only thing went right this day that Jimin is caught up with his classes so he won't be coming home until late. He sent me a text earlier that his professor wanted to keep that lesson which was cancelled last week so he won't be home as usual.

I didn't want him to see me like this so I embraced all of my pent up frustration and let everything out so I can act as if nothing happened when it’s time to face him. I can imagine how pissed off Jimin would be if he knew I didn't take a shower after arriving home in my soaked clothes and instead I rummaged through our apartment to seize up every gift and memory regarding him to throw it out. The passerby’s probably thought I’m some kind of a crazy chick throwing out my boyfriend's stuff from the 8th floor into the rain as a form of revenge and maybe they’re not so wrong considering that I just yelled through the window and told everyone to fuck off. He’s not my boyfriend but it felt good enough not to care.

I don't want to tell Jimin what I overheard since he always told me Han is a jerk and I shouldn't have wasted my time on useless scumbags like him. The plot twist is that he was right but I don't need to hear that I stopped denying that I knew that deep down but too stubborn to admit it.

I wanted my high school crush to notice me and have my silly happy ending. But in fact, this is not a Disney movie and I’m not a princess with a destinated prince charming. Knowing Jimin’s kind heart he would never rub salt into my open wound he would rather sit with me and watch sappy romcoms saying those sweet nothings like I'll find someone who deserves all of my attention and stuff like that. He would never say ‘I told you so’ in a mocking tone spicing it up with an eye roll like Rori did not long ago.

"Gilmore girls? Uh-huh, I smell something fishy here missy." Surprised to hear my roommate I glance away from the tv giving his form an attentive look. Jimin shakes the droplets out of his hair placing his umbrella next to the pile of shoes by the door after he got rid of his boots the keys metal clinking heard as he dropped them into the bowl on the counter. He stops in his tracks taking in with his eyes my torn up appearance.

"Why is your hair wet? You didn’t walk home in the rain, did you?" He hastily takes off his jacket and throws it on the couch sitting down next to me.

I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I didn't hear when the front door opened. I shrugged, indicating that it's no biggie I glance away from him and stare at the tv watching as the romantic scene unfolds on the screen. Fucking perfect even my favourite show is making fun of me.

"Did you forgot to bring your umbrella again? I told you this morning that it'll rain sweetheart." Distracted by the sweet words of worry I let his comforting heat envelop me as our sides pressed up together on the couch. To an outsider, it would seem like he lectures me on my goldfish memory but I see it in his eyes how worried he looks the soft glint in them always tells me how much he cares about me. Jimin envelopes me in a hug stroking my arm up and down in vertical movements attempting to warm me up.

"I'm fine." I tell him I bury my nose into the juncture of his neck the cold touch awakes goosebumps along his skin he shivers but pulls me closer to his warm body. It’s nice being here with him I would go that far saying that I could almost forget why I was in a bad mood before.

"You're freezing cold Y/N." So warm I could sleep like this even though I turned up the heater the cold seeped into my skin I was struggling to keep myself warm maybe it was a mistake that I didn't head for the showers after arriving home. But throwing his stuff out felt so good knowing myself I would do that again, call me impulsive.

"Sorry." I murmur it into his skin he chuckles as he circles my waist with his arms to push our chests flat against each other his warm palms stroking my back the warmth trickles through the thin t-shirt I'm wearing. So this is how it feels like to have your personal heater suddenly I’m jealous of his previous girlfriends.

Not that I was ever not. Jimin is like a living equivalent of a beautiful enigma. Handsome like he was sculpted by the gods itself paired up with a very sweet and honest heart he is a jackpot well hit. And then there’s me not particularly pretty or nice and he still calls me his little angel or nowadays he seems to call me in all sort of sweet names, princess, shortcake, baby name it all he said it.

"Will you tell me why are you upset, baby?" Here we are with the nicknames again I wonder if he noticed it or he does it subconsciously. Of course, he knows something is up with me he reads me so well that it's kinda scary sometimes. Am I an open book to him or is he this generous and caring?

I always envied his caring personality in campus everyone likes Jimin he acts like an angel he listens well and gives good advice he encouraged me when I was planning to leave my studies and drop out on my second year. We are roommates since my first year here he is a year above me and through friend’s advice, we moved in together.

At first, I was resisting intimidated by the thought that he is a senior and I was just a newbie but he never stopped trying even though that I didn't show any reaction at first he kept talking to me and showering me with tiny gifts like cute notebooks and one bite foods he did most of the housework too since he claimed that being new to all of this I should focus on my studies until I got the hang of everything telling me that he was very stressed in his first year so he understands my struggles. I often think about if he is true or not that he is not just existing in my delusional head because he’s an amazing friend and an even more amazing roommate. It feels unreal that I have him.

"It's stupid." I hide my face I try to enjoy the rhythmic sound of his chest heaving lulling me to sleep. I don’t want to burden him with my rant.

"Nothing is stupid for me in the regards of you." The soft words make me keen he aligns our faces so he can meet my eye I scowl at the lost contact and he smiles seeing it. I'm sure he is aware of the reactions he extorts out of me.

"Do you want a punch?" I poke his forehead using my index finger trying to get rid of that charming smile but it just grows wider. My plan always backfires.

"Always so violent." He grabs my finger scraping it lightly with his teeth playfully seeing the horrified look on my face he smirks after attaching my soul back to my body I pull my finger out of his mouth yelling and smearing the excess saliva onto his shirt in disgust.

"Ugh! What is wrong with you?" I yell moving to the far side of the sofa looking at my finger in disbelief. He stands up clearly entertained by my reaction but he turns back before entering my room.

"Where's your blowdryer? You'll get sick if you leave your hair like this." Folding my legs under me I lock eyes with his waiting ones.

"In my drawer." I tell him and he gives me a confirming nod in return.

He comes back after a couple of minutes he has my drier in his left hand motioning for me to face away from him on the sofa so he could get access to my hair. I get comfortable as he plugs in the electric part while delicate fingers comb through my locks untangling the knots before turning the device on.

"I wish you would take better care of yourself Y/N. What would you do if I weren't here?" I lean into his gentle touch loving the way he rubs my scalp it feels like a massage not like how I usually blow dry my hair.

Now that I know what it's like I want him to dry my hair every day. But that's how Jimin works he always makes sure I'm alright he puts extra care into his motions silently helping me unwind. He’s like this with everyone and I’m aware of that but manages to make me feel special every time I guess it’s a special skill he has.

I scoot a little closer to Jimin’s body while walking which didn't go unnoticed by either on Han’s or Jimin’s side but it’s not enough to halter Han's wide smile as he greets me. As usual, he ignores Jimin and the feeling is mutual nothing out of the ordinary. I greet him back but lacking the enthusiasm which used to lace my tone. Now it’s something out of the ordinary.

"Hey Y/N, so when are we going to do that project I talked to you about? I'm free after classes today how about we meet up at our usual spot in the campus cafe?" Jimin was going to excuse himself from the situation as he did every time before but this time I hold him in place by his long sleeves I gritted my teeth holding back my witty comeback alongside the punch I want oh so badly to deliver, but what would I get out of it? He'll just jump to the next girl with better grades to help his ungrateful ass and I'm sure he won't give a flying damn about me or my feelings.

"Actually I have plans later with Jimin." I tell him holding onto Jimin's shirt for emphasis. He's lost for words for a second I never told him no before but he composed himself quickly offering a smile but this time a little tight-lipped.

"Oh, I see. Then how about tomorrow?" I let out an annoyed huff. Just who does he think he is?

"Listen to me very well resident fuckface because I'm going to tell you this once." The threat apparent in my voice he automatically steps back not used to the tone I deliver while I step forward. In the corner of my eye, I catch Jimin’s silhouette keeping his laughter inside because of the name Rori got him. It felt good to finally say it to his face.

"I heard you. Was it funny to use me? You're saying that I'm ugly and ungirly for you to date but happily let me do your homework since it's the only thing I'm useful for. Yes, I had a crush on you and yes I knew you were using me but it was a bit too much even for me to hear you laugh with your friend saying that you are not interested in fucking a boy." By the time I was done talking Jimin's protective hand found mine but I was too furious to appreciate the gesture to its full potential.

"What? I .. I didn't mean .. that Y/N I was just fooling around. Don't be a baby about it." Hearing the response angered Jimin he stepped protectively in front of me and grabbed him by the collar. I was afraid that he's going to hit him but I wasn't worried about Han. I was worried about Jimin he's too nice to hit someone.

"It's ok Jimin. Let's just go." I place my palm on his shoulder I felt calmer since I let out all my pent up anger he looks back seeing my worried expression he lets Han's shirt go.

He must mistake my worry since he strides to the building where his morning classes are held with a sour face. I go after his retreating form ignoring the yells from Han he is not important at the moment.

We planned an early morning coffee together what a shame we had to collide with Han on the way now we don't have time to grab it but I don't want Jimin to think I was protecting Han because that's not the truth. Jimin was always more important than him and he should know that. What would be even nicer than that to not voice it out and still being understood. Where is his mind-reading power when I need it?

"Jimin!" I yell his name I caught his arm as he was about to enter the building I dragged him to the side not wanting to make a scene out of the situation or block the entry.

"Can you listen to me for a second." I plead in a calm voice he looks at me with an unreadable expression on his face. He's not angry nor happy he looks completely neutral which is scarier to see than him acting all angry.

"I didn't want to meddle with your business Y/N because it's not something I have the right to do but I can't watch it anymore that you let this pathetic crush of yours destroy you. He was toying with you the whole time and you didn't care. Are you stupid or something? And even now you are worried about him. He deserved a punch but I guess since it's ok with you.."

"Stop." I warn him. He acknowledges the hurt in my eyes but it's too late. He regrets how rude he was I can see it in the way he shamefully hangs his head low.

"I wasn't worried about him! I was worried about you! Even though he deserved that punch I didn't want you to be the bad guy at the end." I tell him the reason. Knowing Han’s spineless nature he would have spread rumours about Jimin being aggressive or even worse.

"Baby." He starts but I shake my head not letting him comfort me with his touch. He's going to be late anyway. He needs to go to class his teacher is strict on punctuality.

"Don't baby me. Is that what you really think of me? A fool?" Onlookers started to form in the vicinity the only thing missing was the popcorn in their hands. Why everyone here lives for the drama?

I know I wasn't always reasonable but Jimin should know best that it was a crush and I never had a real relationship to compare it to and I was, yes, foolishly preserving the false hope that someday maybe we could be something.

But it happens to all of us, no? I just wanted what everyone else has someone to call and introduce as my boyfriend.

I'm lonely. But hearing it from him from all the people I know Jimin was the one I was comfortable with talking about this since I knew he wouldn't make fun of me.

"I'm just concerned about you. Please Y/N don't look at me like that." He wrapped his fingers around my palm stroking the flesh with his thumb hoping to get back to my right side. He has a habit of being touchy in reprehensible situations.

"Let's talk about this later. You'll be late for class." I take a glance at my wristwatch taking it as an opportunity to shake his touch off.

"I don't want you to leave angry." He catches my wrist before I could walk away. We rarely fight so Hoseok is stunned into silence when he sees us in this position.

"Hi Hobi." I greet him before taking my leave this time Jimin doesn't stop me.

"I appreciate the attempts Jimin but you know it's not edible right?" I look up with hopeful eyes that I don't need to take a pity bite. He's very sweet but he definitely doesn't get the skills in terms of cooking and I would like to live a happy and long life.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't know how else to ask for your forgiveness. We never fight and I didn't know what to do."

I take this chance to really look at him. He has my apron tied around his waist with bold letters the words 'kiss the cook' labelling the front I remember I got this for my birthday last year from him he's kinda cute in it I admit that. He fidgets in his spot in front of me taking my silence as a bad sign but I'm not someone who holds grudges for long and Jimin is one of the few people I can't even do that with even if I tried. He's just too nice.

"I know you were just looking out for me. I know you didn't mean it because I know you." I tell him offering a smile along the way so he won't overthink it and in hopes of we can get rid of this plate of trash he dares to call food.

"You're very important to me you know right?" He murmurs the words into my hair he hugs me tight and I hug him back stroking his back reassuringly. The angle is not the most comfortable one considering that I’m still in a sitting position so I had to twist my torso to hug him back and he’s taller too.

"Of course I know Jiminie." I beam.

"You never call me Jiminie unless you want me to feel better. You should be angry with me and flipping the dining table on my face." The way he pouted while talking made the situation funnier.

I laugh at the image.

"I know I'm a bit violent sometimes, but you don't think I would really shove the dining table into your face right?" I gently push him back to see his eyes I'm actually concerned if he knows that or not.

"I know." He nods giggling at how concerned my face looks.

"Good. Now that we talked about this, clean this mess up so I can cook something that can be consumed." I shoo him to start cleaning.

”Have you ever entertained the idea of reaching out for the military to get this listed on the biohazard weaponry?” I playfully ask and he gives me a glare. It was worth it.

He pecks my cheek before he begins loading the burnt food inside the bin. "What would I do without you?"

I hope it’s not an actual heart I see in his eyes because maybe I have to consider flipping that dining table.

"You would be still relying on the emergency food your mother sends you." I reply with the same playfulness he momentarily stopped every movement to look back at me, surprised that I know about his little secret.

"Who told you that? It was Hoseok, wasn't it?" He manages to look at me with narrowed eyes.

"It's fine. You do a lot of stuff for me so cooking for you is really nothing. And I love how you eat like a pig it means you really love it." The narrowness dissolves into a big grin and dilated pupils.

"The girls I dated didn't phrase it like that." He chuckles.

"What did they didn't like about that? You are so adorable when your cheeks are full of food. I mean I was going crazy about your munching noises but I'm used to it now." I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly I remember how at first I wasn't able to sit at the same table as him I always disliked the sound of munching but now I don't even notice it sometimes.

"I know what Han said hurt you Y/N. But you know it's not true right?" He asks in a more serious tone the previous light atmosphere went gloomy so fast.

"Which one? That no one would want to fuck a tomboy like me? Or that I'm only good for making others homework?" I say it jokingly but he was buying none of my bullshit. He knows I'm still pretty upset about it.

"Neither of those." I'm flattered how severely he stated it at least one of us are confident in me.

"How would you know that? I didn't do either of those for you." I roll my eyes anyway I'm not that easy to convince. Self-love and rainbows and shit are not something I'm currently feeling. Saying nice things is what flows through Jimin’s veins more than blood. He is that nice.

"You are beautiful Y/N and I have an idea of how we are going to get back at Han." The lunatic laugh he does scares me but I curiously ask what he meant by that.

"What's that?" I ask straining my neck to see the advertisement. I shouldn't have done that. The article on the front page alarms me with bold letters. Under the words a girl with very white teeth on display putting the toothpaste commercials to shame. The catchy slogan seeping out of her mouth ’try out your beauty here and don’t forget the most important thing is not winning but also to gain experience’ What a full of crap saying. Only the ones who don’t win say shit like that.

My skin pales as soon as I see the way Jimin eyes me.

"The hell to the fuck no. A beauty contest? Are you insane? I'm not going to do that." Only for my words to fell on deaf ears.

"Is this really necessary Jimin?" My voice is full of uncertainty. I don’t remember the last time I went to see a hairdresser maybe when I was back in my hometown. And if I remember correctly it was for my high school graduation. Time flies fast.

"Yes, it is babe. You're going to look the best I'm sure you'll rank first place and make your ex-crush poop his pants." I roll my eyes but I can't help the laughing noises escaping my sealed lips. The assistant shows me the seat that I take with a shy following ’thank you’. I’m suddenly feeling nervous about this.

"At this point, I would rather do this because of you. I want to make you proud of me." I avoid his eyes I feel bashful enough that I dared to say it out loud for him to hear.

"But sweetheart I'm already proud of you." His palms rested on the back of my chair we were still waiting for the hairdresser to start her magic on me. We lock eyes through the mirror in front of me due to the eye contact Jimin’s eyes turn darker with a feeling I can’t truly decipher I haven’t seen him acting like this. I open my mouth to question his stare when the assistant’s high voice interrupts me.

"How long have you been guys dating? You're such a lovely couple." I catch Jimin’s widening smile he’s watching me not rushing to correct the girl like I do.

"Oh. We are not dating! Just friends." I tell the truth blushing.

"My pardon, I thought..."

"Anyone would be lucky to have such a cute girlfriend." Jimin cuts the girl’s apology making me focus on him again. Why is he like that? It’s not normally how he is. No, he’s just being nice again, right, that’s the reason.

"I don't know about that." I shyly comment. Don’t know what else to say.

Only then I can finally breathe when the lady arrives Jimin takes his place further away sitting down on one of the chairs in a row before the wall at the other side, scrolling through his phone since the professional said it will take some time to finish.

”Do you have something in mind?” I think for a while before shaking my head I haven’t thought about that honestly. It was Jimin’s idea in the first place.

”Um, curling it? Cutting the dead ends?” I offer and the lady nods with a friendly smile she starts working soon.

After the hair salon, we went shopping for a dress. He did all the reading while he applied for me and made a list of things we needed to get done before the Pageant. The first was to get my hair fixed the second one is to find a dress for the ending ceremony.

I struggle to bound the backside of the dress but to no avail, I can't reach the zipper on my own.

"Jimin?" I call his name rather uncertainly but it's the better option since I don't want the guy shop assistant with the rude attitude to touch me plus I trust Jimin. It's just a dress he saw me dressed up before so I don't know why I can't calm down the stupid pounding of my heart. It’s probably because of the way he stared at me through the mirror I tell this to myself.  

"Yes princess, do you need help?" Now is not the time to think about inappropriate thoughts it’s Jimin we are talking about. A friend. I clear my throat before speaking hoping that the words will come out steady.

"Actually yes. I can't get this dress up can you come in and help me?"

I hold the front of the dress not to reveal too much skin this dress is so tight that I needed to get rid of my bra since my body won't fit in the front of the dress otherwise, I'm pretty sure the line of my panty shows as well but it felt too much to remove.

"You look beautiful." The praise made my heart melt his eyes shimmered in adoration as he found my gaze through the mirror he maintained eye contact while he reached for the zipper of the dress he touched the upper part of my ass accidentally my cheeks flushed in pink he rested his other hand on my shoulder keeping the dress together. What’s with him and mirrors? He seems to act differently when one’s around.

"Thanks." I whisper bashfully the tiny booth suddenly feels too hot not sure if it's from embarrassment or from something else I cannot put my finger on. He steps back admiring the dress and how I look in it with the help of his hand still resting on my shoulder he turns me to face him he looks up and down memorising my body seeing his gaze I feel exposed even though I know I'm wearing clothes. Partially.

"Hmm. So pretty." He slides his fingers down the length of my arm with gentle motions stopping at my elbow pushing my body flush against him my back collides with the booth's thin wall with a soft thud as I tried to gain back some distance.

The sweet cologne hits my nose with his eyes hooded he looks down mere centimetres away from my lips. He licks his telling me without words that he wants to kiss me looking between my lips and eyes for confirmation but he is soon done waiting.

I was about to protest when he leaned in which results in that our teeth clash but it doesn't deter him from kissing me harder connecting our lips together firmer with the pad of his finger Jimin caresses my jawline guiding my face to follow his lead. I can feel the soft press of his warm tongue asking for permission when the shopping assistant calls for us.

"Everything is alright?" He asks I'm sure he has his own ideas what's happening in here. We pant into each other's mouths we separated as soon as the assistant's voice reached our ears but Jimin didn't step back as I thought he would.

"Yes. The zipper was stuck but it's fine now." Jimin tells the guy and he seems to let that stay at that not intruding further. Jimin's cheek appears to be as pink as mine which makes me a little less nervous.

 "I don't want to do this." I protest what feels like the 100th time this day.

We are currently sitting in the library and looking up topics for me fashin magazines littered in the tiny table and for almost 30 minutes since we got here Jimin's knee painfully touching my thighs under the table but I'm too afraid to voice it out.

Am I a bad person? Moving on this fast and pinning after my best friend like an affection starved bitch. Han was a jerk but Jimin is very nice which makes it ten times worse.

After our shared kiss in the changing booth, Jimin seems too normal. Am I the only one affected by it? I’m at the conclusion that it wasn’t even real and my head just played tricks with me cruelly. What frustrates me more is that I haven’t got a full taste and it’s affecting me nonetheless.

”Hmm.” He hums distracted not paying attention to my whining. He turns a page his face lit up as he positions the magazine to let me see its content. There’s a tall girl in a nice dress and each side there’s an article about manners. I almost roll my eye at that. Manners and I are not very familiar with each other.

”What about it? I thought I just have to say I want world peace and cry a little but you actually think about the topic I have to talk about?”

I remember him saying that in one of the rounds I have to talk about a chosen topic for ten to fifteen minutes. He’s more serious about this than I thought at first. Why do I find his determination cute and hot at the same time? Something is clearly wrong with me.

”World peace? It’s not Miss Congeniality Y/N.” He puts the article down laughing with his head thrown back but soon composes himself when the librarian warns us to be quiet or we have to leave.

”Yes, Jimin be quiet.” I retort however my smile vanishes when he leans closer his hand flat against my thigh.

”Did you say something?” His breath fanning my face he keeps his voice down this time. I don’t dare to look down his hand is awfully close to where I don’t want it to be and especially not in a library.

It’s like a switch is turned off and on in him at the most unexpected moments.

"You're being touchy again. Are you going to glare at every single male until we are done?" The corridor is busy with people and Jimin refuses to leave my side opting for helping me find the sitting room.

I wasn’t feeling nervous when I woke up this morning but getting closer and closer for the competition to end the nerves making my stomach flip in an uncomfortable way was getting stronger with every second.

"I'm just making sure you are safe, sweetheart men are wolves you know." He secures his jumper to cover my front. This bikini wasn't even that revealing for fuck's sake. Although he’s unnecessary protectiveness was enough to channel my focus into something else.

"You are a man." I state the obvious looking deadly into his eyes articulating the word ’man’ for emphasis.

I'm kind of done with his overprotective behaviour. He kissed me and now he thinks he is some kind of older brother for me. I honestly don't know what to think. And the way he teased me in the library. There’s no way he wasn’t aware of his hands on my body.

"But I'm allowed to look at you they're not." The little whiny edge in his voice doesn’t melt me this time he’s being childish. It sits on the tip of my tongue to say what makes you think that you have my permission, but I refrain from doing so.

"Jimin it's like the same when we are at the beach it's just a bikini and they will see it eventually when I go on stage." I decided to use another approach instead.

"I'm suddenly not sure about this. How about we get out of here?" The hand holding the jumper up strengthens on my body.

"Calm down. You made me do this so we're going to do this." I say it like there’s no room for discussion.

Two people were eager to make their existence visible while we were bantering I can’t say I was dying to see Han and his new puppet. Han wasn’t even aware it’s me next to Jimin I guess a little dress change and makeup do wonders.

"What a pleasant surprise to see you here?" I can’t say the same. Despite the thought, I remain silent but thinking again I straighten my back and call her out on her words. She’s a year above us I remember this girl because she’s always noisy in class. She retakes one of our classes that’s why my year knows her in the first place.

"Are you asking or stating it?" I roll my eyes Han's hand curves around the girl's waist holding her close.

Really her? He must be fucking her because there’s no way she can write his essays for him.

"Y/N?" Han's unsure voice makes me satisfied. Call me now ungirly you prick if you dare. But I can’t relish in the feeling because her highness speaks again.

"I meant it's nice that you are here since there will be a winner and we always need a loser." I’m not going to mention how unreal this girl looks. Her hair is blonde but it’s the doll-like artificial kind of blonde. It’s stereotypical but her voice is making me cringe it’s like she swallowed a toy duck the kind which whistles when it’s clenched.

"Hold your fake tits Y/N's going to win." I never heard Jimin using explicit words before I'm shocked beyond belief. Han’s eyes linger on the way Jimin holds me close, it looks like he knows something I don’t.

"5 minutes!" Hearing the yelling of the staff it's our cue to leave.

"What was that?" I'm struggling to hold back my laughter. We finally arrive in front of the door where a huge sign says the sitting room.

"She insulted you. I'm not going to watch this chick looking down on you." It’s just now that he releases his hold letting the jumper fall.

"And I'm thankful. The only validation I need is from you Jimin. Do you really think I look ok?" I’m nervous it’s totally out of my league to be here. The thoughts about those two leaving my brain easily.

"Look ok? You look gorgeous. Keep that in mind that after this day no matter what happens you'll remain the winner in my eyes." He massages my shoulders his fingers dig into my flesh in a calming manner.

"That means you’re going be proud even if I'm last?" He shakes his head in disbelief he has more faith in me than I have in myself.

"Don't say that. Have a little faith in you darling."

I smile as soon as I saw Jimin's figure lingering by the door our eyes met in the reflection of the mirror I put my flowers down on top of the dressing table reaching for him to receive a congratulation hug. I can’t say I'm disappointed that I'm not finished in the first place but I'm kind of happy because I ranked third place which is quite the achievement on my part and it all thanks to Jimin.

Grabbing my hips when he gets close enough he crashes our mouths together in a hot kiss moving his lips skilfully against mine with unconcealed eagerness like he waited years to do that. He steps closer traping my body between his body and the dressing table angling my head to slip his tongue into my mouth. He’s not as gentle as before.

"Jimin." I pant. "But I didn't get first place." I reason but he shuts me up with another kiss on my abused lips he gets my lower lip between his teeth basking in my reactions I let my eyes flutter open seeing his face this close he looks like an angel the only thing giving him away is that his eyes hid not so innocent thoughts.

"I told you. You're a winner in my eyes. Do you want your reward sweetness?" He kisses my earlobe after releasing my lip whispering into it before he moves down to pepper the exposed skin on my neck with wet open-mouthed pecks.

"Jimin, we are in public. Someone might see us." I try not to give in so easily but it was hard controlling my needs since the sexual tension grew tenfold after our little kiss inside the changing booth and the library. Shit, his mouth feels good on my heated skin.

"They're celebrating the winner no one will search for us for a while. How about we hold our little celebration as we wait?" The suggestion makes my eyes roll back into the back of my skull my legs shake in anticipation and he grins seeing my lust-filled expression.

"You're unbelievable. Do you want to fuck me in a dressing room while anyone could see us? Is that a kink of yours?" My head clears a little as he backs away looking at his reflection behind us in the mirror.

"I'm not going to fuck you here baby." His eyes focus on me again caressing the skin on my waist the gesture is lovely but I can't help feeling disappointed hearing his words. Of course, he wouldn't want to fuck me what was I thinking. We are talking about Jimin he could have everyone, of course, it's not me who he wants.

"Oh." I cannot help but let out a disappointed yelp he must sense my anxiety since he continues.

"This is just the foreplay don't be disappointed cheesecake. I'm planning on worshipping your body and we have no time for that here. I'm willing to wait to fuck you till we get home until then I just need a quick taste." He plays with the band of my underwear showing his intentions he undoes just the right side of the bow keeping the material in place revealing a part of my skin there.

"Bold of you to assume I'm going to let you." Hearing my mocking voice he places his palm against my heat making me moan out with how precisely he moves his fingers. It was embarrassingly easy to make me shut up and he loves it.

"Did you say something? I didn't hear you." He never falters his ministrations his index finger slips under the fabric feeling the wetness that gathered there he moans into my ear after he places a quick kiss to the underside of my collarbone.

"I said hurry the fuck up." I take hold of his biceps the slow-motion his one finger provides soon feels not enough to satisfy me.

"Since it's your prize I'm not going to tease you this time." He slowly drops down to his knees seeing him in front of me is enough to moan out and he cannot stop the light chuckle leaving his lips the lips he’s going to wrap around my heat.

"I was waiting to get you out of those the moment I saw you in them." He plays with the other side of the bow which is still in place. Once it’s undone he shoves the material into his pockets. I realise that I don’t know much about him at all in the field of sex. We never talked about it but I knew he’s not a virgin.

"Hmm, that's why you were covering me the whole time? It was not because of the boys, was it? You covered me so I won't give you a boner while we wait for the staff's call." He chooses this exact moment to lick a long drawn out stripe up my folds sucking on my clit in a teasing manner. He hooks a hand under my leg to position it and lift it onto his shoulder for better access. My long-nailed fingers pull on his hair.

"You figured me all out, baby. Now less talking and more moaning." Ending his statement he dives in my legs shake due to the pleasure he sure does know his ways around a women body. I wonder how many partners he had but I need only one finger to slip inside to forget every thought I had. I whine at the stretch not because it’s uncomfortable but because it’s not enough I’m so wet that I could take him right then and there.

”Please, Jimin. Please.” At this point, I’m not even sure what I’m begging for but luckily Jimin knows exactly what I need. The neediness not only evident in my voice and soft mewls but in my body as well in restless shaking it makes Jimin smile against me he caresses the inner side of my thigh his tongue on my clit draws eight shapes his fingers slow but reaching deep it’s obvious he’s trying to extend my sweet torture.

At first, only using one finger then it’s quickly turned into two scissoring it occasionally making me ready for his cock the thought of him being inside of me automatically makes me clench around his fingers. The way he emits little sounds of appreciation while going down on me is a huge turn on. I doubt he feels better than me right now but sure does it seems like he enjoys it a lot more normally guys do.

”J-Jimin.” I stutter his name his tongue and fingers starting to feel too much for me to handle I fidget as much as I can while Jimin’s hands holding me in place I can’t hide away from the feeling and he doesn’t stop.

He speeds up his movements not listening to my silent pleas to stop the way he licks up every drop and welcoming the new waves of wetness makes my head spin. ”I’m going to cum.” I warn him I grab the side of the table I need something to hold on tight to ground myself against the intense feeling of my fast approaching orgasm. ”Ah J-Jimin.” He hums with his mouth wrapped around my sensitive bud I close my eyes so hard that I start to see red dots in my vision. He doesn’t stop even though I reached my high with shaky fingers I can finally pull his head the sight I see when he looks up to take in my fucked out face almost makes me push through another orgasm itself.

Jimin uses the back of his hand to wipe off the leftover wetness gathered around his mouth and chin it was glistening in the sun provided light. As he gets up from the crouching position he slowly lets my leg touch the ground again he starts doing calming smooth circles on my hipbone delivering light kisses on my lip waiting for me to get back to my senses.

He gives me the sweetest smile I have ever seen on him. Almost makes me forget how he was between my legs a few minutes prior.

"B-baby what are you doing?" I could hear the ragged breath he sucked in through his nose it takes time to get on my knees since they’re kinda shaky I grabbed his hipbone to steady myself on the ground looking up at his face with a proud smile.

I caressed the soft flesh under his shirt I could feel the muscles contracting under my light touches. I look in front of me to study the outline of his dick he’s hard and he’s hard because of me.

"It's not fair of me to take and not give back the favour don't you think?" I palm him through the rough material of his jeans he moans significantly loud it earns a huge grin on my part and an embarrassed smile on his. Cute.

"This day is all about you. I'm going to show you how proud I am because of you." Despite his words, his opposition was weak he let me palm him he wasn’t able to keep his eyes open when I applied more pressure. I love the way he’s so responsive to my every touch and the high pitched tone he moans in the back of his throat. The whiny edge of it encourages me to do better because I certainly want to hear more of those.

"By letting me blow you. Pants down." I raise one of my brows waiting for him to remove his pants for me. His eyes reopen when he doesn’t feel my hand on his body he looks down where I’m sitting on my legs knees bent he sucks in a shaky breath, pupils dilated and he finally nods he clears his throat to sound more collected.

"Shit. Fine."

"In any other situation, I would love to hear how vocal you are Jiminie but right now you need to keep quiet for me. Can you do that? Hmm?" I tease him I take a good look at his member his grith is quite impressive he’s thicker than it seemed when it was inside his boxers. Before I could change my mind or make Jimin embarrassed because of my staring I wrapped my fingers around him there are a few inches I cannot reach and It shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does.

"This feels so g-good." I collect the precum to help me move up and down his shaft, after a louder whiny moan on Jimin’s part I decide to hold him firmer he throws his head back both of his hands grabbing the table’s edge he’s holding back not to thrust up into my hand the pulsing vein visible as he bares his neck.

"A-ah please slow down, i-it's too much." Reciprocating the favour I lick at the tip while speeding up my jerking motions the double pleasure forces a loud whimper to escape his parted lips.

A knock interrupted our moment Jimin's body goes rigid afraid that we'll be caught. I withdraw my ministrations letting his shaft leave my mouth with a wet pop. Despite the risky situation, I can see it on him it requires a lot of self-control on his part not to thrust back into my mouth.

"Yes?" I answer going back to deliver a kittenish lick to his tip not letting the newly released precum go to waste Jimin stutters biting his lip hard not to whine out. My voice sounded worn out but the staff member didn’t pay attention to it.

"The closing ceremony will start soon." So she’s here to inform me.

"When?" I ask between licks I found the throbbing vein at the underside of his cock following the line up from the base to tip a low grunt leaves Jimin's lips I automatically gaze at the door but thanks to the noises of the people outside of the door the sound is lost within these four walls.

"15 minutes."

I hum against his dick in acknowledgement the vibration shoots another pleasurable wave up his spine immediately Jimin's fingers strengthen in my hair. "I'll be there." I pull away for a second to offer my answer to the assistant. She leaves after that.

"Let's bet Jiminie. Do you think I can make you cum within 15 minutes?" His eye flutter shut groaning when I apply pressure again using my hand to pump his full length this time it's easier due to the spit from the previous help of my mouth.

I use the heel of my palm to smear down the newly formed precum leaking from his tip he's extremely sensitive to my every touch I continue licking the tip circling my mouth around the head of his cock the pretty high pitched moans getting significantly louder but I let him he's close anyway.

"Y-you don't have to s-swallow it."

"Shit. You swallowed." I liked the way his eyes darkened by the discovery the salty taste won't be my favourite flavour but it was alright also this way it left less of a mess.

I need to be presentable soon. My jaw hurts because of the long use but it worth it seeing Jimin's fucked out state he looks even prettier with a sheen of sweat coating his spotless skin. It makes me proud knowing he’s like this because of me.

"Are you alright?" I comb my fingers through his messed up hair his fringe sticking to his forehead looking me up and down behind his long locks framing his eyesight with bedroom eyes slightly closed still trying to get down from his high.

"More than okay, baby. More than okay."

Circling his hands around my waist he pulls me closer until our bodies fully pressed together he rubs his nose into my pulse point kissing it I feel the faint pressure of his teeth that I grab the back of his head to pull it away. He whines because of the denied access but lets me pull him back.

”I can’t have a hickey Jimin, I don’t want everyone here to know what we did in this dressing room.” I reason but he seemed to like the idea, I hit his chest with a serious expression at that his wide smile starting to piss me off.

”Fine, fine. I’m surprised you still have the energy to be this violent. Jeez, woman.” Jimin wets his lips with his tongue his face shows satisfaction and cockiness. I wonder how many girls were able to see this side of him.

”We have limited time Jimin. I need to get that dress on.” I decide to ignore the smirk and move I don’t have much time before I need to get back out there and this dress is so tight to get on and now I’m sweaty too. ”I need help.”

”I would rather get you out of it though.” I turn my back to him so he can get the zipper up.

”Of course you would.” I roll my eyes following the sarcastic sentence.

[jewishraypalmer]

Invasion crossover time!! Let's liveblog this shit!

Omg it's all coming back to me, this is the one where everyone joins the crossover to SPECIFICALLY tell Barry how much he fucked up lmao it's all screaming back to me that Cisco was like I fucking hate you the whole time

Wally!! I miss you every day!!!

Diggle every single time he sees Barry: oh fuck no you don't

Omggg remember when Barry was like oh where is Snart?? And Ray was like oh fuck *sweats nervously* haven't you heard??

God FUCK Oliver amirite?

Even the Legends are like damn we don't fuck up THAT badly Barry wtf

Someone wanna tell me why I specifically remember this random scene of Felicity holding an umbrella for Mick?

Ok confession.... I really like the Arrow episode of Invasion because I love "what if" episodes so yeah I liked it sorry it's embarrassing

I miss Rory Regan with every fiber of my being. My little Jewish boy!!!!

Quentin Lance was originally right to hate Oliver there I said it

Absolutely hated that Chicago Med reference the first time and I hate it now like idk I'm not a fan of taking me out of shows by using real life references. Also was pissed that Tommy wasn't in the episode in general

Why is this crossover so Anti Supergirl? How are all of these man babies getting away with saying this shit to her?? Years later I'm still like wtf this is messed

Waiting to get to the part of the episode where Ray uses a gun, I'll never forgive and I'll never forget.

And THERE IT IS. And then we never even acknowledged or talked about it again. I think about this all the time and I've never not been angry about it.

Rory and Felicity talking about the Torah and Gematria, I love to fucking see it!!!

The way Oliver treats Kara...fucking hate it

Really miss my brotp pairing Felicity and Cisco

I actually did forget about the Stein having a new daughter plot lolol

Every man on Arrow is very much *old man yelling at clouds* when it comes to metas and aliens huh?

I did like the "she looks like my cousin" line the first time but now it's kinda like the Chicago Med joke...

[saharamae21]

All of My Wrongs - Chapter Ten

Pairing: Topper x OC and Rafe x OC

Summary: As things at Rory’s home unravel, she finds herself reconciling with the one person she thinks life would be better off without her in it. Topper just wants for her to be okay and she wants to make sure she doesn’t ruin his life. As the events unfold, Rory opens up to Topper about things she’s never told anyone and begins to except that he might be good for her. How far is too far though?

Word Count: 2.7K

A/N: Thank you for all the positive feedback, I love hearing what you guys have to say! Please keep commenting and sharing your thoughts with me.

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I knew I should’ve gone home that night, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I hated my mom right now and I didn’t want to be there. I couldn’t be there. Instead, I stayed at the place Rafe was crashing and tried to relax. I had to compose myself in order to go home and act like nothing was happening. It was the only way I’d ever get through the next few years living at home.

I woke up the next morning, still stuck between Rafe’s arms. He was so peacefully asleep that I didn’t want to disturb him. I knew I had to head back though. I tried to slip out of his arms undetected, but he tightened his grip and groaned. Mission failed. I smiled at him as his eyes flickered open. They were such a pretty shade of blue.

“Morning buttercup,” he said with the faintest of smiles. He looked so happy. I smiled and cuddled into him, wrapping my arms around him tightly. I loved when all of the worry left his eyes. I loved when he didn’t have a care in the world. If I could do that for him, maybe I wouldn’t be so worthless after all. He chuckled as I clung to him and kissed the top of my head. He was the only person who wanted me in their life.

“I should go home,” I muttered into his chest. He tightened his grip on me as if telling me to stay. “I’ve barely been home since we moved here, Rafe. I’ll come back tomorrow. I promise.”

“Fine,” he muttered and loosened his hold on me. I gave him a small smile as I got out of the bed. His face looked so calm as he looked at me. I wondered how long it would take for me to disappoint him…

The drive home was far too short. I stood outside the front door and stared at the knob. I didn’t want to go inside. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, but then I heard Skipper’s voice. He sounded distressed. I instantly reached for the handle and flung the door open. Inside stood my mom and Skipper. He was chasing her to the back entrance. She was carrying a plethora of things, my things. I called out and asked what was going on, but no one answered me. My mom acted as if Skip and I didn’t exist at all. She just continued to walk to the backyard. I ran after, bursting through the sliding door. Outside, there was a huge flame in the fire pit. Skip was trying to stop my mom from tossing more items into the flames, but with no success. I ran over and peered in the fire. Picture frames, notebooks, artwork. All of it was burning up and on top of the pile lied Newton. Tears filled my eyes as I tried to reach in to pull him out, but my dad stopped me. He screamed at mom and asked her what she was doing. He held me back as I desperately tried to grab my belongings from the fire.

“Stop yelling at me! This is her fault! It’s not like she wants to be a part of this family anymore!” my mom screamed. I listened to my dad yell at Skip to go inside. He told him to go inside and he would be in shortly after. After Skip ran into the house, dad released me. I had calmed down a little bit. I stood there motionless, tears streaming down my face. Normally I would just go inside. I would act like I was fine and this didn’t affect me. Not today though.

“What did I do to you?” I asked softly. My dad told me to go inside. He begged me. I couldn’t though. I had to understand her. “What did I do wrong? I’ve tried to be everything you’ve ever wanted and nothing is good enough! So, what did I do?”

“You existed,” she said coldly. I heard my dad yell at her. “You’re the reason I’m not happy. You’re the reason I can’t love Skipper. You did this to me. You ruined me!”

Her worlds swirled around my head, but for the first time they stuck. Everything was my fault. If I had never been born, she wouldn’t be like this. I caused the post-partum depression that led into her manic depression. I corrupted her like a computer virus. I broke down in tears as I rushed past her, desperate to get away from her. My dad called out after me. My tears made everything blurry as I ran towards the front yard. Something stopped me though. Something snagged my arm. I turned to look at him and the look on his face. Topper. Yesterday, he would’ve calmed me down and alleviated some of the pain, but today, I knew he wanted nothing to do with me. This was an obligation as a human being. Before he could say anything, I pulled my arm away from him and ran.

I drove to the beach and sat down in the sand. The sun was covered by layers of clouds and the wind was almost cold in a way. I sat there and let my emotions get the best of me. I cried and cried for the first time in forever. She never let herself spiral this far. I wondered if this would be a wakeup call or if we had finally reached the point of no return. I hugged my knees to my chest and buried my face in them.

A while later I felt a hand touch my knee. I looked up to see Topper’s worried face in front of me. He held out a new teddy bear to me and didn’t say anything. He just waited to see my reaction. As I looked at his face, I bursted into tears again. I took the bear from him and hugged it against my chest, needing to hold something in that moment. He wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed. The whole time he held me, he said nothing. He knew I just needed someone with me at this moment.

“I never should’ve been born,” I whispered. His arms tightened around me and one of his hands reached up to caress my hair. “This is all my fault.”

“Don’t listen to her, Rory,” he said. I just shook my head against his chest. I shook my head over and over, ignoring everything he said after that. Nothing he said would process until I had calmed down a little more.

After 10 minutes of sobbing and shaking, I finally calmed down a little bit. I took a few deep breaths and squeezed the push toy to my chest. Topper released me from his hold and sat down in front of me. He told me that he was there if I needed someone to listen, but his words from yesterday were still rippling through me. I made myself smaller as he looked at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said. My head shot up at his apology. “I was mad that you felt like you owed Rafe an apology. You had nothing to be sorry about. I-I don’t know why I got so upset.”

I fiddled with my hands as he said that. I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him. He told me to stay away from him. I knew the only reason he was in front of me was because he felt bad for me. He didn’t care about me. It was just human nature to care for those struggling. He cared because I was crying, nothing more and nothing less.

“I’m okay, Topper,” I said. I lifted my head and plastered the same smile onto my face that I always did. “You don’t have to stick around. I’ll be fine.”

“Stop that,” he said. He moved closer to me and observed my face carefully. “Stop thinking about everyone else before yourself. You’re not forcing me to be here Aurora and I’m going to leave until you get that through your head. You don’t have to talk to me, but I’m here, okay?”

We sat there in silence for what seemed like forever. He just sat in front of me, carefully studying my face. I never looked at him though. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I thought that if I ignored him for long enough he would just go away, but he showed absolutely no sign of moving. He wasn’t giving up on me.

“You were right, y’know?” I said. I gave out a pathetic laugh as I stared at the waves crashing against the sand. “I’m a hypocrite. You just stay away from me.”

“Rory-” he started, but I held up my hand to silence him. I wanted him to just listen. I didn’t want him to tell me lies and try to convince me otherwise. I just wanted him to hear me.

“My whole life, I’ve been what everyone else wanted. Even at home I couldn’t be myself... because myself disappointed my mom. Isn’t that sad?” I said. I was smiling as I said it. It was a sad smile. The kind that you have one your face when you know things couldn’t get any worse because nothing else mattered anymore. I pursed my lips together and let out a huge sigh. “Have you heard of postpartum depression? My mom suffered from it. After I was born, my mom got really sad. She couldn’t find a way to love or connect with me, but with the help of my dad she got over it. Things were good for a while, but then she got pregnant with Skip. My dad was away with a nonprofit for most of her pregnancy and he didn’t see how she spiralled, but I did. I was too young to remember it, but that’s when it began. She never got better after Skip. Postpartum turned into bipolar and when she doesn’t take her meds she acts like this and it’s all my fault.”

“Aurora, none of that is your fault,” he said quietly. I turned to look at him, tears in my eyes. His face was contorted in worry as he pulled me into his arms. “None of this is your fault.”

“If my own mom can’t even love who I am, then who else will?” I asked. My voice was barely a whisper, yet he heard every word. I let myself collapse into his chest and his arms tighten around me. No one had ever comforted me like this. No one had ever cared that much. Even my dad was more focused on my mom’s sanity over mine.

“I will,” he muttered softly as he held me. I closed my eyes as he ran his fingers through my hair. How could he love me, when I didn’t even know who I was? That didn’t matter though. I had a feeling that he would help me find who I really was. I needed his help. I needed him.

As much as I told myself that I knew I would never be enough for him, there was no getting rid of him. I knew that I was too attached to the boy to ever let him go. I squeezed your eyes shut and tried to control my emotions, but it would take more than that to feel alright again. I squeezed the bear in my arms and moved away from Topper, looking at him sadly as he let me go.

“I know it’s not Newton, but I thought you might need something new to sleep with at night,” he said and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. I smiled and looked at the bear in my grasp. Somehow he knew exactly what would help me cheer up. The small gesture made my heart swell. “Should we name him?”

“Hm…” I said, smiling a little bit as I thought. “Should I name him Thornton?”

“Don’t name him what you think I would enjoy,” he said, ruffling my hair a little bit. I let out a small giggle as I pushed his hand away. “Start thinking for yourself. What do you want to name him?”

“Larkin,” I said without thinking. He laughed at me, but it was wholesome. I could tell that he loved the way my mind worked. “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “So, Rory. If you could do anything in the world right now, what would you want to do?”

I thought for a while as he patiently waited. What would I choose to do? Why couldn’t I think of anything I truly wanted in life? I couldn’t think of one thing I wanted… I just didn’t want to be alone right now. I knew he would stay with me and that meant the world to me.

“I want to stargaze. I love laying underneath the stars and forgetting about the world around me,” I said. A small smile fluttered across my lips as I thought about the night sky. The sun hadn’t barely reached its peak though, so my wish was nearly impossible. He smiled at me and told me to come with him. I stared at him with a confused look as he helped me up and walked towards the parking lot. He seemed really excited, I could figure why though.

It was a short drive to the peer. I got out of the jeep and watched as Topper walked over to buy two tickets for the ferry. I just stared at him as he chatted with the ticket guy. Within a minute he was back by my side, grabbing my wrist and pulling me aboard. I asked him where we were going, but he told me it was a surprise. We sat on the ferry and made casual small talk as the boat headed to its destination. I knew nothing about the area, so everything about this was a shock to me. When we stepped off, we were in Chapel Hill. He pulled me excitedly towards some older buildings. It looked like a college, but I couldn’t tell.

“This is University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill,” he said. He smiled at me as he walked me around the campus. I still couldn’t figure out why we were here, but then we came to a round building. It had no windows and a dome for a roof. Something about it looked familiar. “C,mon.”

He pulled me inside and told me to wait in this lobby looking area. He walked up and talked to the college student at the desk. I watched the excited look on his face and smiled. He looked so cute right now. I pushed that thought from my head and tried to ignore my budding feelings for him, but how could I? He made his way back over to me and grabbed my hand, guiding me inside.

“Welcome to the Morehead Planetarium and Science Center,” he said as we took a seat in the pitch black room. I leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, following Topper’s suit. Then like a beautiful ray of light, the stars twinkled across the ceiling above us. I laid there and stared up, mouth agape as I observed the night sky above me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.

“Wow…” I breathed out. I listened to him chuckle as he stared at me. “Do you want to know my favorite thing about the stars?”

“What?” he asked. I could feel his eyes on me and if the lights were on, you would notice how red I was.

“I love that when you look at them, you look into the past,” I said, staring up. I explained how the stars were so far away that they took millions of years for their light to reach our sky. I told him about how many of the stars we see above us had already burnt out, but their image is preserved in our sky. It’s almost as if they keep on living through us. I turned to see his face. His full attention was on me and the smile he gave me said it all. I smiled back at him. He made all of this possible for me. He made me so happy, even in a time that I thought I might never be happy again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Aurora.”

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Tag List : @outerbankslut @jellyfishbeansontoast @jiaraendgame @bricksatanakinswindow @outerbongs @maybanksmalfoy @ilovejjmaybank @potterheadhollander @spilledtee @queenieloveswriting @multifandomlovess @starlightstarkey @tomhardybby @diverdcwn @sadcupofcoffee @maybanksbaby @teenagekook​ @kaitieskidmore1 @teenwaywardasgardian

[let-me-write-shit]

Somebody To You: 9

Friendly reminder to please Like and/or Reblog. It helps more than you think! :)

New chapter every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!

WARNING: LOTS OF FLUFF and mentions of situational depression

Word Count: 3,880

Click Here For Previous Chapter & Other Completed Stories

PLEASE let me know what you think

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CHAPTER NINE:

She tried. She really did. After Harry’s unexpected surprise for her sister, Zoey was in better spirits. And the phone call she got at work that night from Katie who was gushing about how great the show was and how well Harry treated her and her sister’s friend and made sure they got home safely meant the world to her. But it was just a distraction. By the next morning, the depression hit her again. She made the mistake of checking her social media accounts for the first time in weeks and was instantly bulldozed with dozens of posts and tagged pictures from old high school and college classmates making ‘I miss you’ posts. Needless to say, she didn’t respond to them.

Instead, Zoey went right back to barricading herself in her room. Nancy and Rory began to worry and started checking in on her a little more frequently throughout the day, which she actually appreciated. Andy tried his best to distract her at work and even had her take a few shots with him to ease the stress. Brett had backed off a little, not texting her as much and he had taken a little break on coming over to hang out with them, but still kept the normalcy of shamelessly flirting with her at work. 

And Harry. Poor Harry. She knew he was going through a lot right now with his tour and Rory and trying to write a new album. It was always in the back of her mind with every text she left unanswered. ‘I hope he doesn’t think I’m abandoning him.’ It was a silly thing to worry about. She knew he wouldn’t blame her for her silence if he knew. But he didn’t know. She couldn’t tell him. Because to say it or to write it down would make it more official - more real. She was okay with pretending that she was living in some sort of fantasy. One where her best friend was simply back at home. It was plausible. There was no way that she would be living in LA, pulling hot, successful men’s phone numbers nightly, and be friends with Harry Styles in real life. Being in a dream-like state or alternate universe made more sense than Jessica having been dead for a whole year.

She just couldn’t talk to Harry about it. She tried, drafting a few texts to him. But she deleted them all before she got the courage to send them. She didn’t want to cry. She needed to keep it together. She had gone this long without crying, she just needed to get through to Wednesday. Because she knew that once she started crying, she wouldn’t be able to stop. And Harry would have said something sweet or profound and she would have lost it. Better to ignore Harry and just get through this.

But it was lonely, and being alone during this scared the crap out of her. She could feel her grasp on reality slipping. She could feel herself falling deeper into the hole she dug herself in a year ago. How did anyone cope with losing a loved one? Especially as suddenly and unexpectedly as she did? She was with Jess when she died. They were laughing together when the impact happened. Jess was one room over when she was pronounced dead. How could Zoey have gone a whole year having, arguably the best time of her life, without Jess?

She hardly slept after work on Monday. If anything, she just went into a deep state of zoning out, because the next thing she noticed was the sun rising behind a thick layer of dark clouds. Seemed fitting that it would rain today.

Her phone rang several times, missing calls from her parents, her sister, her ex-boyfriend Michael, and Harry. She was half tempted to answer Harry’s call, but she lacked the energy to speak. She just felt drained and numb. It reminded her of how she felt when she heard the news. There was no emotion she could register. Not sad, or angry, or confused. Just numb. But she had the overwhelming urge to be held, desperate for warmth and the pressure from being squeezed. Something to make her feel safe and comforted and to ease her pent-up anxiety.

The longer Zoey stared out the window, the busier the streets below got. Rory had already poked her head in to say goodbye before she left for a meeting. She knew that any moment now Nancy would be knocking on her door to offer her some breakfast for the sixth day in a row, and Zoey would, once again, respectfully decline. Like clockwork, a soft tapping sounded. Zoey rolled over in her bed to face the door and she uttered, “Yeah?”

Slowly, the door creaked open and a tall figure in gray sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and a black beanie with curly brown hair poking out from the bottom came into view. Stubble lined his upper lip and chin, his lips were turned down in a sort of frown, and his big green eyes stared down at her, concern, sympathy, and care was etched thick in his gaze and in the creases of his eyes. Seeing Harry standing in the middle of her doorway was all it took. With one look, he had managed to make her not only come to terms with her emotions but also allow her to push through the numbness to feel her emotions. By just a mere look, Zoey’s face screwed up, her lips tightened and turned downwards, and she began to cry.

Harry quickly closed the door and was by her side in an instant, slipping under the covers and pulling her close to his chest, stroking her back and just allowing her to let it out. He didn’t even flinch when she gripped onto his shirt and sobbed into his chest. He knew she must have been hurting, but he couldn’t get a good read on just how much until that moment, and to see her in so much pain twisted a knife into his heart. He couldn’t help but get emotional as tears stung his eyes, holding his friend tighter.

Eventually, her sobbing slowed as she began to run out of energy, but neither of them said a word. They just laid there with Zoey’s face in Harry’s chest, gripping onto his shirt, until she eventually fell asleep. He didn’t dare move in case he woke her. He could tell it had been days since she’s had a decent night’s sleep. She had bags under her eyes, her hair was barely in a bun with chunks of hair dangling sporadically every which way. He had half a mind to wake her up and yell at her for bottling up her feelings instead of talking to him or anyone for that matter. But he didn’t have the heart. At least he was here now. He’d take the heat from his management for leaving later.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours until Harry, too, fell asleep. By the time they came to, Zoey’s phone was ringing. Harry rubbed his eyes and yawned while Zoey stirred awake, reaching for her phone that was wedged in between their legs on the top of the bedspread, turning it to see that someone named ‘Mikey’ was calling. She pressed a button to silence the ringer and stared at the screen until the name disappeared. Harry noticed the dozens of missed texts she had gotten before she tossed the phone to the end of the bed and he couldn’t help but recognize that she was probably screening his calls like that, too. 

His attention flashed to the window seeing the sun high in the sky and figuring that it was probably around noon when his stomach growled. He sat up and looked at her, eyes still puffy and hair still disheveled, but looking more relaxed. 

“Are you hungry?” Harry asked, “I was going to go make some lunch.”

Zoey shrugged, “A little.”

“What would you like?”

“Whatever you’re having is fine, thanks,” Zoey avoided eye contact, seeming embarrassed. 

Harry nodded, pushing the covers off of himself and dragging his feet out of the room, touseling his hair. He made it to the kitchen when he realized he was no longer wearing his beanie and that it must have fallen off while he was sleeping. There was a note on the counter that had quick scribble written in sharpie that read: “H and Zo, running out to a meeting. Be back around dinner. Text me if you need anything. Love, Nancy”.

 He grinned, rummaging through the fridge for something to eat, thinking back to a year ago. There was a point in time just before he met Nancy and Rory when everything seemed to be going so well for the singer, he had amazing success in his solo career, he was able to see his family more frequently and take breaks, surrounded himself with great people, but somehow he still felt alone and down. He was missing something and he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Then he met Nancy and Aurora at a charity dinner and they seemed to add a sense of comfort and true friendship in his life that he was missing on the west coast. 

But Zoey was the missing piece. When he met her, he felt like he understood what a soulmate was, which was weird, because he wasn’t sure he totally believed in soulmates and always figured that a soulmate was something to romanticize. And maybe in certain situations it was, but for him, it was something completely different. For him, it was someone whom he could tell absolutely anything to without judgment or fear of abandonment. Someone he could sit in complete silence for hours and be at peace. Someone whom he didn’t have to impress or put on an act with. Someone whom he could love with every ounce of his being, even just platonically, and whom he could share every bit of each other’s pain or happiness. 

He knew that sounded crazy. They’d only been friends for a couple of months, but he felt it in his bones. He had met someone who would be in his life, through any trials and turbulence, for quite possibly the rest of his life. He was certain of it. He saw it in flashes while he dreamt. She would be there when he fell in love. She would be there when he got his heart broken. She would be there when he found the one, and when he would fall in love all over again when his children are brought into the world. She would be there through the tough parenting trials. She would be there for his future family during the lengthy, lonely tours and business trips, and celebrate the endless nominations and awards, and he was grateful to have met a friend like her. He could only hope that she felt that way, too.

Harry finally decided on making some grilled cheeses for himself and Zoey, grabbing a couple of bottles of water before carefully carrying them back to Zoey’s room. He heard faint muffles from the other side of the door, and when he pushed it open he saw Zoey sitting up, phone pressed to her ear, a tear rolling down her cheek, and her free hand fidgeting with his beanie. Her attention snapped in his direction when she noticed him walking in and she scooted over a bit to let Harry back into the bed while responding to the person on the phone.

“Not tonight. I’m off on Tuesdays and Wednesdays,” she said. After a pause, she continued, “No. Thankfully I made some pretty great friends over here who are keeping me company. She would have really loved them.” 

Harry looked down at his food and smiled, knowing she was talking about him as she finished the conversation. 

“Of course, no problem. Thank you again for this opportunity, it’s been more helpful than I ever thought it could be. Okay, love you both. Bye.”

Zoey ended the call and wiped the tear from her cheek, looking up at Harry with a soft grin. She had fixed her hair, pulling it to a neater messy bun, and her eyes weren’t as puffy, though still bloodshot. She must have read his face because she informed him, “It was Jess’s parents.”

Harry’s mouth formed an ‘o’ and he nodded, “How are they holding up?”

She shrugged, “It’s hard. They were going through old pictures of us when we were younger when I called. They said I’ll always be family and they’re happy I found some good friends out here. Thank you, by the way.”

“Oh, no problem,” Harry held up half of his hot grilled cheese sandwich, pulling a corner of the triangle piece to his mouth, “it’s technically your food, I just put it together.”

She snorted, “I meant for coming. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I guess I was wrong. I didn’t realize it until I saw you.”

Harry put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed her into his side, “Zoey, I don’t know how many times you want me to say it, but I’ll always find a way to be there for you. You just lucked out that I’m off during this.”

“How pissed are your management?”

“...I’ll probably get an earful l when I go back.”

Zoey laughed and asked, “Do Nancy and Rory know you’re here?”

He nodded, “I called them when I landed. I just missed Rory. She had apparently just left before I got here, but I talked to Nancy for a little. She just left a note for us to let us know she was going to a meeting. She said she’d be back tonight.”

Zoey nodded, taking a small bite of her grilled cheese. The clouds from the storm were so dark that it cast a gray light into her room, making her more relaxed as the two pulled Zoey’s laptop between them and played ‘The Sandlot’ in the background while Zoey talked, finally saying everything that’s been on her mind for the past week. It was hard at first, trying to control her emotions. But the more she talked, the more she understood that she didn’t have to control her emotions. In fact, Harry didn’t want her to control it, he wanted her to feel how she needed to feel.

“Don’t bottle it up. That’s not how you get better. Lean into it. Cry if you need to. Scream if you feel it. But don’t hold it back. It’s just you and me, you’re safe,” he told her.

And she felt it, too. Safe. She wondered how she ever went through life before knowing him. How she ever felt safe before him. Whatever she thought safe was before him was something else entirely. He provided her with a sense of comfort and belonging she never thought existed. He never made her feel inferior or silly beyond the sense of joking. It was hard to imagine that just a few short months ago Harry Styles was just some famous, hot, British singer on the radio and in magazines who didn’t even know she existed. Now, it was hard to picture him as anything more than, what she would consider him to be, her best friend. 

Hours had past and the movie had long since been over as they continued to talk and she found herself finally starting to laugh and smile again. Her phone went off a couple more times, noticing another call from her ex-boyfriend and one from Brett, but she was finally feeling a little bit like her old self again and she didn’t want to ruin that right now. Instead, they talked about Harry and his tour, stories of life on the road, and a few fan encounters.

“I don know how you do it. How do you feel safe?” 

Harry shrugged, “I guess I’m just used to it. You never really fully let your guard down. You’re always cautious, but you don’t really think about it after a while.”

Zoey nodded, “I guess the attention isn’t all that bad. Especially for a single guy. But...what’s even going on with that? Made any decision yet on what you want to do about Rory?”

Harry pushed out air through his nose in a sigh and relaxed his shoulders, dropping his head, “I have no clue,” he groaned, “Honestly, I’ve been avoiding thinking about it and just pretending like that conversation never happened because I liked the way things were when we were just TALKING. It was easier then. And it kind of feels like we’re getting back to that, too, so I’m hoping she just forgot about it.”

Zoey shook her head, raising an eyebrow, “Harry,” she warned, “girls never forget. Don’t wait too long or you’ll lose her.”

He huffed, “I know. I just need more time to think. One thing at a time. Right now I’m focusing on you.”

Zoey chuckled, “Well, thank you, but don’t forget to focus on yourself, too. And maybe don’t tell her that. I know you mean well, but no woman wants to know that you’re focusing on another girl, even if it’s just a friend.”

Harry laughed, ruffling his hair, “Yeah, maybe not the smartest thing to say.” They settled when Harry asked, “What do you want to do tomorrow? It’ll be just me and you.”

Zoey shrugged, “I really want to go to the beach, but we definitely can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

Zoey looked at him as though he grew five heads, “Hello? Did you forget you’re famous? You’ll definitely be recognized.”

“I can get away with it in big crowds. Too many people are distracted. You just have to keep moving.”

“And your tattoos won’t tip them off?” she pointed out.

“I can just wear a long sleeve shirt if it’ll make you feel more comfortable.”

“It’ll be a trillion degrees!”

Harry waved her off, “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. We’re going to the beach.”

Eventually, there was a knock on Zoey’s door. She called for whoever it was to come in and Nancy poked her head in, holding two dome-topped cups filled with chocolate milkshakes, Binx scurrying in behind her and leaping onto her bed.

“I brought these for you,” Nancy warily chimed, edging in.

Zoey smiled brightly at her, scratching the top of Binx’s head and taking hold of hers while Harry grabbed the other, “Thank you, Nancy,” she said.

Nancy grinned, happy to see her friend in better spirits. “I just got off the phone with Rory. She’s on her way back, but we were thinking about getting some Chinese for dinner if you want any.”

“I actually just ordered some postmates,” Harry informed her, “should be here any minute. But thank you.”

She nodded and excused herself from the room when Zoey’s phone rang again. She held it up to see the screen and sighed.

“That’s the fourth time this Mikey person called today. Why do you keep ignoring it? Is it some weirdo stalker from your work not getting the hint or something?”

Zoey shook her head, “No, it’s my ex-boyfriend.”

Harry’s eyes widened, “Oh.”

The phone screen went blank and she groaned, “I should probably talk to him, shouldn’t I? He’s probably having a rough time with Jess, too. He WAS there when it happened, too.”

Harry shrugged, unsure of what to say. Zoey thought for a moment before pressing the ‘Return Call’ button, listening as the phone dialed out, feeling bad that it had taken this long to reach out to him. He didn’t have anyone in his life that knew Jess that well. Zoey was lucky that Harry was here, she couldn’t imagine how she’d feel right now if he weren’t, so she could only imagine how Michael felt.

“Hey,” Michael answered, his voice low and sullen.

“Hey,” Zoey greeted, feeling Harry’s eyes on her, “How are you feeling?”

She heard Michael sigh, “I don’t know. Pretty shitty. Left work early today. But now I’m by myself and this sucks.”

“I know,” Zoey soothed, “What about your friends? What’s Dan doing? Can he come over to keep you company?”

Michael huffed, “He’s with Becky. But I wouldn’t want him to come over anyway. He’d just try to make jokes or play video games and I’m not in the mood for that right now. I wish you were here.”

Zoey frowned, “I’m sorry, Mikey. I would if I could.”

“Can’t you come back and visit? Just for a little?”

“I can’t. I’ve got a job. I’ve got friends here. I can’t just leave.”

There was a moment of silence before he spoke, “You really made a whole new life for yourself out there, didn’t you?”

“Mikey…” Zoey cautioned, looking at Harry who she was pretty sure could hear the conversation as his eyebrow raised and his head tilted.

Michael stammered, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. It’s just...hard for me. We were together for four years. I can’t get over you that quickly. I just miss you.”

“I know, I miss you, too,” Zoey responded, looking down at Binx who was nuzzling his head into her lap, a little embarrassed as this phone call was a lot more intimate and personal than she expected, feeling sorry that Harry had to hear this, “Well, it’s late there. Try and get some rest. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. I love you, Zoey.”

“I love you, too. Get some sleep.”

Zoey ended the call and gently tossed her phone to the side, hesitating before she looked up at Harry, his expression all sorts of confused.

“Sorry,” Zoey blushed, “Conversations with him lately are usually like that, I was just hoping that this one would be different.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “I’m confused. Are you guys broken up? I thought you were seeing Brett?”

“Brett and I are a different story, but yes, Michael and I are broken up.”

“But you still tell each other I love you?”

“I mean, yeah,” Zoey shrugged, looking Harry in the eyes, “I was with him for four years. He was there with me during the most traumatic moments of my life. And he’s always been good to me. I’ll always love him. I’m just not IN love with him.”

“So you don’t want to be with him?”

Zoey laughed, shaking her head, “You seem awfully confused for a guy who’s still friends with practically all of his ex-girlfriends.”

Harry’s eyebrows relaxed and his lips twitched into a smile, laughing, “True. But I don’t tell them I love them.”

“But you do,” Zoey quipped, “Just because you fall out of love doesn’t mean you don’t still have a love for that person. There will always be a piece of you that loves them, it’s just not as great as it once was. That’s why you’re still friends with them. Because you still care about them on some kind of level.”

Harry stared at her for a moment before smiling his perfect, toothy smile, “You’re too wise for your own good.”

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