#s3 jon too sad to give a fuck

[identityarchitect]

If you got stuck in a lift with any tma character, who would you want it to be?

jon or elias no question

[linktoo]

MAG S3

This is where it ramps up. I’d personally say that this is The Best Season of TMA (though the S1 and S2 have their own charms and are Very Necessary for setup). Tensions are running high and there are so many people and places you get to meet, every episode is like pulling you into a new situation and it makes my heart race every time like BAM BAM BAM so much info is being dumped and you’re taken for the ride of a lifetime as everything gets recontextualized as Fears. If S2 was noticeable for the budget increase with a larger cast, S3’s ability to craft the most organic sounding conversations was everything to me. I remember how utterly stunned I was hearing Jon and Georgie talk for the very first time, just seriously excellent stuff.

Jon's actions and mindset make a lot of sense especially how he was treated in his childhood... he’s not used to being loved or cared for and probably why he was suspicious of Martin being nice to him… it’s so good!! I loved especially in S5 when Rosie describes Jon as insecure, aggressive, and desperate to be taken seriously. It fits with his characterization so well. Jon's trauma is so particular, it's just negligent enough and people in the comments point out he sounds like a textbook case of a neurodivergent child and it's just. You can seriously understand how he internalized the ideas he did. 

My favourite character foils:

1) Jon vs Gertrude - Inhumanity vs Humanity. How much do you give yourself up as a human for an eldritch being? Gertrude only did as much as she had to, reading statements to a wall, only compelling when she had to.

Gertrude didn't like extracting statements from people. But she decided, long ago to lean into her ruthlessness through more conventional means, to sacrifice people to a greater good.

Compare that to Jon who is willingly entrenching himself deeper and deeper. Jon admitted he liked extracting statements. But it’s because he cares, he cares too much and is so emotional. Jon “I don’t want to lose anyone else” Sims leaned into it more. Who’s the real monster here? Jon’s grip on his humanity not by stifling his monstrous powers but to choose to trust in people, to love, to care a bit too much makes him so good as a chosen one 

"I thought moving away from my humanity would have made that seem more acceptable. That sort of sacrifice… But it just makes me sad.” so poignant. so stark Jon and Gertrude's juxtaposed characters are. Jon accepted to be a monster and Gertrude remained human. and yet - I love the stark differences between Jon and Gertrude, though not black and white. fucking incredible

2) Jon vs Elias - their varying uses of power and desire to get what they want.

Elias is aggressive. But that’s all he can do, just threaten anyone and hope it works out. I love how Elias has all the knowledge he can get but really doesn't know how to get to people emotionally and that leaves his blind spots particularly noticeable and makes it possible to defeat him. It just makes him despicable and someone to root against. 

Jon doesn't know what's going on at this point of the story. He simply persuades it out of people accidentally but there’s definitely a way that Jon pursues knowledge that make it obvious that he Will be more powerful than Elias.  - I got chills when Jon read that statement and realized it was French. The way Elias treats Jon as a thing that’s going through puberty by describing it as his “development”, chills. Terrifying.

You can even compare Jon and Elias by how they compel statements out of Daisy. Elias just extracts it out of her and talks in this extremely condescending voice to blackmail her, to make her hyperventilate– meanwhile, Jon accidentally makes her admit she’s seen vampires. It’s great. It’s a good nod to show why Daisy reacts so aggressively to Jon, how she equates him to Elias, and how scary it is for that whole power overall. 

Jon's compulsion is so subtle and prodding compared to elias's aggression and it's just so enjoyable to compare

(This is a sidenote as someone who’s had to sit down and think about how we consume media: I spent over a year in the dsmp fandom where it's always about figuring out where do you draw the line between getting content from the cc's and their own private, separate lives alone. We turn away, no prying eyes when it's something super personal and learning to respect that time when their own stuff is NOT turned into content for us to enjoy - because we demand it so much.

Listening to tma as The Eye which can most definitely also be seen as a representative as us, the audience, listening in on private conversations lends itself to me thinking again about boundaries for fictional characters. How much you want more Jon and Martin interactions, for example, but their most private convos are unrecorded. They talk where we can't gleefully observe for our own entertainment.

"Maybe we’re all just broken inside, unable to really grasp the difference between fictional people, and people we just don’t know. They’re all just abstract ideas we’re happy to have suffer for our enjoyment." I think tma (for awhile) had a good exploration of that paranoia and parallels us, the audience wanting to hear more of their personal lives while they just want privacy.)

Elias is Peak Villian in this season. Truly. Him struggling to get his team to follow him because obviously no one trusts him. So instead he decides to traumatize them forcibly with the Eye to get what he wants… and that just leads to more hatred against him. AND don’t get me started with the fact he was so calmly able to lead everyone to fall into place at the end into his office. Perfect. Absolutely a great way to show the dominos being lined up for the inevitable fall. It does a better job at showing that manipulation than S5 web/Annabelle Cane ever did.

I'm gonna be honest though, I'm not a big fan of Nikola and this finale in general I don't really find this to be very clever horror. The stranger really frustrated me at times because it just kinda felt… random? Edgy? Something like that. The voice acting was great too, I think it was just a bit too thriller to me. I think S5 delved into the stranger better by tackling losing your identity from the unknowing better. 

But overall S3 I am absolutely over the moon with the writing. 

==

[Masterlist] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]  (feel free to send me asks if you want any clarification!!)

[jonathanssweatercollection]

JONATHAN!!! of course i've spent my time since finishing the season recently going through your blog, but just overall, i'd love to know what you thought about volume one?! especially the jonathan/byers of it all if you'd like to share!!!!!!! <3

sathana bestie hi !!!!!!!!! hope ur groovin <33

i typed a more lengthy response to this b4 nd tumblr just. nuked it so i’ll just say that while yes this season has numerous problems and bits that i’m not the biggest fan of (hello russia plot, hello stranger things’ patented oddly written bullying, hello stancybaitgate (no offence intended to my stancy mutuals lov y’all)) this season is a MAJOR step-up from s3. like a HUMONGOUS improvement tbh

highlights from the top of my head:

max’s storyline was done so much more respectfully than i was expecting and genuinely made me cry i love her so much

robin and nancy are soooooooo autistic and fruity this season it’s a blessing

murray and joyce being comedic besties (and making their storyline worthwhile)

eddie and steve are two different flavours of off the fucking walls and i love that for them

i love seeing el’s development as she grows up !!! i just wish that she didn’t get thrown into the deep end of high school

the gore effects this volume were simply chef’s fuckin kiss and greatly appealed to the deranged little horror fanatic in me

continuing on from that, vecna/henry creel was soooooooo creepy and cool i think he’s an awesome villain overall (and much better than some of the other human ones in the show 👀)

and finally. my boy. my bestest boy in the whole wide world. jonathan honeypie byers my fucking beloved. i’m glad that he had more of an introspective storyline than he had last season (and an unfair amount in s2 tbh) and we actually have scenes where he’s the primary focus (if only for a little while). i’m overjoyed he has argyle to be there for him, even if he’s a little misguided at times and doesn’t think things through, because jonathan needs and deserves ppl to be in his corner; he deserves a support system and ppl who care abt him. jonathan’s outfits have also slapped this season, loving all the fruity shirts he’s been wearing. and unpopular opinion maybe, but i also rly like his hair !!!! it’s like an overgrown shaggy version of his s1 hair which i appreciate immensely.

overall i wish that the cali storyline had more screentime (also more el too) in all honesty; i want more big brother byers moments!!!! also more joyce/family interactions, given that the s4 interactions between her and jonathan were limited and not super great. i’m also praying that the love triangle nonsense that’s been abruptly rehashed for s4 (which i’d thought we’d moved way past in season 3??? hello) doesnt shit all over his character development, same going for nancy and steve too; if we’re doing this then for the love of fuck please just give us stoncy. i know they won’t but like. please

rounding off tho, i don’t think that the og jonathan that likeminded jon stans prefer i.e the original characterisation of jonathan, from s1 (ya know: perceptive, responsible, sensitive, artistic, self-aware, passionate, ambitious, stalwart) would rly be very happy with this s4 variant. i’ve seen some ppl view some of his scenes where he’s high off his mind as kind of sad? and i can’t help but compare his lack of awareness and how uninvolved he seems (initially, that is) to how hands-on and “take charge” he used to be (i only put that in quotation marks bc i don’t think that phrase greatly applies to him the majority of the time, since he’s not rly your hopper-esque macho male protag). like when joyce asked him what was wrong with him when he was asking “what’s going on” and repeating the things told to him (processing brand new info under an already influenced mind ofc), that just keeps coming back to me as s1!jonathan asking the same thing to his current self ya know?? like idk if the two met i feel that s1!jonathan would be kind of disappointed in what’s happened to him, if not understanding of his s4!self’s circumstances and also kind of thankful that he’s not as on-edge. hm. much to think abt (or write a fanfiction about 👀)

anyways woah i don’t mean to natter on so much in this reply but i hope that, if it makes sense I mean, u like it or at least see where i’m coming from ?? it’s late <3

[venfx]

magnus fic roundup

as tma comes to a close, i thought i'd post some of my favorite fics to come out of this fandom. most of these are classics, listed in no particular order.

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed​ | 3K | S1-S4 | Jon/Martin | Complete

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

↳ this is such a well-done exploration of jon’s character and his relationship with touch, and i’ve re-read it at least five times. sweet and sad and phenomenally well-written.

in the chillest land and on the strangest sea by imperfectcircle, singlecrow | 20K | Safehouse, S1-S4 | Jon & Daisy, Jon/Martin | Complete

Jon remembers a statement he read years ago given by a Jesuit priest, who said that the shortest prayer he knew was, just, fuck it, as in fuck it; it's in God's hands. He takes Daisy's hand and trails on after her.

or; hope is a thing with feathers.

↳ hey, you wanna fuckin..... feel things? read this.

The Magnus Institute vs the 21st Century: a series of emails and IMs by shinyopals | 26K | Series | S3 | Pre-Jon/Martin | Complete

The Magnus Institute hires a Data Protection Officer. He sets about diligently booking in meetings, writing policy documents, and training all the staff in the importance of confidentiality. Now if only he could get hold of the Head Archivist, who seems to have vanished again...

(Jon is only trying to save the world, but apparently some people think he should still be doing his day job.)

↳ i’d be surprised to find people who haven’t read this series, but it’s the definition of “the magnus archives is a workplace comedy”. also, alasdair stuart has actually read some clips of this on Twitch, so that’s a fun bonus.

Bell, Book, and Candle by yellow_caballero | 102K | Series | S3 into S4 | Jon/Martin | Complete 

In accordance with the Ride or Die Pact of 2009, Jonathan Sims can call upon Georgie Barker at any time for aid with no strings attached. Despite their rocky history, their childhood friendship, and Jon’s barely recovered alcoholism, this pact is sacred and must be upheld.

Georgie Barker may regret this. She may regret it when she discovers that the world is full of monsters and eldritch gods and dickhead managers. She may regret it when a punk rocker who should be dead collapses on their doorstep, a teenager again who needs their help. She may regret it when her stupid ex-boyfriend starts selling his soul for knowledge and the ability to keep his new family safe.

But she probably won’t. Georgie isn’t scared of anything - not a Clown’s apocalypse, not the apocalypse that Jon is destined to begin, and not Jon’s own loss of humanity.

Maybe she should be.

↳ if you’re looking for an everyone-lives-no-one-dies-happy-ending fic that also happens to be massively chaotic, look no further. 

The Reverb in These Holy Halls by @wolftraps​ | 98K | AU, S1-S4 | Jon/Martin | Complete

Undoing the apocalypse would have been enough for Jon, if all his people survived. Without them, Jon's only recourse is making it so it never happened in the first place. He's going to do better this time.

↳ quintessential time travel AUs. plot-wise, i feel like these can be difficult to write, but op does a fantastic job of tying things together in a way that makes sense. plus, it’s just fun to read.

jon sims v the nhs by @thoughtsbubble​ | 12K | Series | S3 | Complete

Joan Bright has a new patient. He's carrying an old tape recorder and is covered head to toe in scars. Jonathan Sims looks dangerous, but Dr Bright has dealt with all sorts of atypical individuals. She has no reason to be nervous.

Right?

↳ if you’ve ever thought “hey, jon should probably go to therapy”, then 1) you’re absolutely right and 2) this is... probably what would’ve happened. prior knowledge of The Bright Sessions is not required. also, apparently, this fic is written by the showrunner of The Underwood Collection? wild.

Family, Found by Dribbledscribbles | 9K | S4 | Complete

It’s Basira who catches onto it.

The collective shift that seems to come over them when heading in or out of the Institute. Not just the oppressive sensation of being observed, their every move catalogued for the voyeuristic cravings of some unseen Eye(s). That feeling remained with them even when they left the Institute these days, but it was always stronger inside its walls. That wasn’t the change. Nor was it the point.

The point was: making life worse for Jonathan Sims.

↳ i think being part of the avengers fandom circa 2012 has given me permanent found-family-trope brainrot, but you know what. jonathan sims can have a little happiness, as a treat. 

Road to Damascus by @titanfalling​ | 107K | Series | S4 | Jon & Tim | Complete

n. an important moment of insight, typically one that leads to a dramatic transformation of attitude or belief

Or, in which Tim becomes an avatar for the end of all things.

↳ tim dies and then he doesn’t. there is catharsis and world building. just....read it.

Come, Change Your Ring With Me by @backofthebookshelf​ | 29K | S3 | Peter/Jon, Jon/Martin, Peter/Elias | Complete

The Lukases demand the Archivist marry into the family, and the Institute relies on them too much to say no. Peter is smug. Elias is fuming. Martin is suffering. Jon thinks this might be tolerable if only Peter would hurry up and leave him alone already.

OR, the soap opera we call an Archives revolves around Peter Lukas this time.

↳ superb evil-bastards-in-love content, feat. martin pining, tim being obnoxious, and jon being... well, tired, mostly. i will literally never get tired of how op writes peter. 

creatures that i briefly move along by @dotsayers​ | 16K | Series | AU, Post-S4 | background Jon/Martin 

Mr Sims was so weird, was the thing. Miss Grant always said calling people weird was rude, and Anna sort of agreed, but she didn’t know what other word to use to describe Mr Sims.

He’d only been in with the class for a few days, really, and half of that he just sat at the back listening, but that didn’t stop her from making a swift judgement. 5BG had had student teachers before, back when they were 3ST, and they’d been uniformly normal.

Mr Sims was… actually, Anna had a better adjective. He was interesting.

↳ i just.... love teacher!jon fics. this series delivers. 

Once Bitten by @apatheticbutterflies | 1K | S4 | Jon & Daisy | Complete

Jon Sims has always been a jumpy kind of guy. Nervous. Twitchy. Daisy used to think it meant he was guilty. Turns out he was. Just not of what she’d thought.

Daisy learns how to peel an orange.

↳ daisy and jon’s relationship is an example of an instance where i’m happy to say “fuck what you wrote mr. jonny ‘chocolate torte of tragedy’ sims, i want them to be friends”.

pins and needles by mutterandmumble | 13K | S1-S4 | Complete

He’s got a reputation to uphold anyways; an uptight, rigid reputation that dictates the way that he interacts and functions and is such an integral part of him that he can’t let go of it anytime soon. He likes his safety nets. He likes his contingencies. He likes his privacy, and everything around this place right down to the walls seems to have ears, so he’ll stay tight-lipped up to and beyond the threat of death.

He’s good at that.

In which Jon takes up embroidery and bumbles through life the best that he can.

↳ out of all the introspective jon pieces i’ve read (and there are many), this one stands out. maybe it’s the symbolism or the characterisation, or maybe it’s the fact that i have an embroidery kit lurking in the back of my closet along with a hundred other half-pursued hyperfixations. whatever. this is excellent.

sleeping in by @ivelostmyspectacles | 5K | S2 | Jon/Tim | Complete

“Who are you trying to convince?”

Jon gives up, letting his head sag against Tim’s shoulder. “I don’t know.”

aka Elias gets tired of Jon and Tim's bickering, sends them away for a "team-building" weekend trip, and is sure to book them a room with only one bed

↳ this has everything you’d need from a “oh no there’s only one bed” fic. someone please get these men therapy.

if you try, sometimes (you get what you knead) by @ajcrawly​ | 3.5K | S1-S4 | Jon/Martin, Tim/Sasha | Complete

It starts with an abundance of boeuf bourguignon and ends up as a team tradition.

Food and love in uncertain times.

↳ more found family fic, this time with a diverse og!archival staff and food as a metaphor for love. hurt in all the right ways. made me hungry in the process.

[equalseleventhirds]

ok gonna make a whole separate post actually bcos of reasons, it’s long and i have more thoughts and those don’t belong in tags on other ppl’s posts (shh i’m getting distracted from homework it’s FINE)

SO

i’ve touched on this with like, ‘don’t bully jon he is TRYING his BEST’, but when ppl say he wasn’t empathetic and kind in s1 i’m always so. so sad.

he was FRIENDS with sasha and tim at least from BEFORE the archives. he asked them to come. he accepts sasha’s teasing about ‘calliope’ and gives back silly comments about the pronunciation (academic, but still silly!)

jon snaps at tim when he is VERY stressed about the worms and everything, but then when tim goes ‘whoa’ jon does back off, and soften, and explain that he’s not sleeping much and this is too much for him to handle (and tim doesn’t push, he says ok and changes the subject a little and then lets jon come up with a temporary solution)

and in s2 and s3 when tim can actually talk to martin and later jon, we hear some little bits of their friendship and it hurts by the time we hear but. yeah it was always there.

(and also the VERY FIRST TIME he interacts with a statement giver he is SO SO KIND to naomi, this grieving, traumatized young woman. from the START he has been kind.

so when people says he wasn’t kind then and that he ‘learned’ to be kind i get so upset  (altho i don’t talk about it a lot) bcos like, just bcos he’s dry and professional ON TAPE WHEN HE IS RECORDING FOR WORK that doesn’t mean that’s how he lives his life

BUT people seeing the softer more playful side of him in the 161 birthday tape has me thinking about this again. and about what a good fucking job jonny did writing about it.

bcos in real actual life people suffer, and so so SO often you get told ‘suffering is good for you’ or ‘your trauma is god’s/life’s/the universe’s plan for you’ ‘the pain is making you a better person’ or some other bullshit like that. and it IS bullshit. it is absolutely 100% bullshit.

you don’t need pain to be kind. you don’t have to suffer to be nice to people. people suffer because the system is fucking broken, not because they aren’t kind enough and need to be taught a lesson, like what kind of fucked up thinking is that? being told that always made me feel like i was being told i wasn’t good enough, and the people who were cruel but not suffering the same as me somehow were, and that shit hurt.

so i’m glad jonny made it Very Fucking Clear that suffering through horrific fear and trauma did not make jon better or kinder in any way. i’m glad he made it explicitly fucking clear that suffering is not a tool the world uses to fix you. it’s just suffering. and it’s hard as fuck to hear that spelled out, but it’s important.

[supercasey]

TMA PMV Idea “The Dreamland Archives”

Fuck it, TMA ended so now I’m gonna post my draft sheet for a PMV I desperately wish to make, but don’t have the skills to do so. If anyone wants to use it, go ahead, but I’d like to at least know about it beforehand because I am INVESTED in this idea. (Spoilers for seasons 1-4)

(Credits/intro plays before the vocals begin)

Song: Dreamland by Glass Animals

All characters belong to Rusty Quill

*Insert list of PMV participants*

Supertheodore presents: The Dreamland Archives

Pullin' down backstreets, deep in your head [Camera is focused on the door to the archives, which opens by itself after the word “backstreets”] Slippin' through dreamland like a tourist [Camera shows the archives empty, and then filled with all of Jon's assistants after the word “dreamland” (including OG!Sasha, though her and Tim appear to be ghosts), all of them appearing happy and hard at work] Pullin' down backstreets, deep in your head [A photograph of Jon with all of the S1 assistants + Elias, everyone smiling; after the word “backstreets” it’s the S3 crew, everyone appearing upset/angry, save for Jon, who’s crying and covering his face with his hands, and Elias, who’s still smiling and has his hands on both of Jon’s shoulders] Slippin' through dreamland like a tourist [Jon is on his knees as he looks through a filing cabinet, clearly frustrated; after the word “dreamland” a ghost of Gertrude appears behind him, her arms crossed as she stands behind him, appearing disappointed]

That first friend you had, that worst thing you said [Martin is bringing a very tired Jon, who has his head in his hands, a cup of tea; Jon looks up and snaps at him after the word “had”, causing Martin to startle] That perfect moment, that last tear you shed [Tim, Martin, and even Jon are laughing at a joke that Sasha said, all three of them surrounding her desk; after the word “moment” Sasha is gone, and the others are left crying/upset] All you've done in bed, all on Memorex [Martin is alone in the archive’s storage room bed, wide awake and holding a corkscrew for dear life; after the word “bed” it cuts to Tim, who is angrily throwing a tape recorder against the nearest wall] All 'round-'round your head, all 'round-'round your head [Camera pans down from a single light-bulb to focus on Jon, who's silently crying in his office chair and surrounded by tape recorders splattered with blood (all in the shape of eyes, all staring at him)]

Pullin' down backstreets, deep in your head [Jon is traveling the tunnels alone as he uses a flashlight to light his way; after the word “backstreets” it's a similar shot, but now he's running for his life from Not!Sasha] Slippin’ through dreamland like a tourist [Jon is sitting in front of Jurgen Leitner as Jurgen explains what’s really going on to him; after the word “dreamland” Jurgen is bloodied up and dead, with Jon looking horrified, a bloody pipe rests on the table between them] Pullin' down backstreets, deep in your head [Martin and Tim run into Michael in the tunnels; after the word “backstreets” they find themselves in the realm of the Spiral] Slippin' through dreamland like a tourist [Martin and Tim are both shocked upon finding Jurgen Leitner's body; Tim becomes angry while Martin becomes worried after the word “dreamland”]

You've had too much of the digital love [Jon is sitting on the floor of Georgie's apartment, one hand holding a tape recorder, the other holding his head; after the word “much” the Admiral crawls into his lap, making Jon smile slightly] You want everything live, you want things you can touch [Jon is sitting across from Jude Perry at a cafe, looking nervous while she gives him a mischievous grin; after the word “live” it cuts to Jon free falling through the sky with Mike Crew, Mike seemingly unbothered by the whole thing while Jon looks terrified] Make it feel like a movie you saw in your youth [Shows the scene of Jon, at 8 years old, following his childhood bully to Mr. Spider’s house; the door opens and several spiders legs come out and take the bully after the word “movie”, leaving Jon terrified and covering his mouth to keep back a scream] Make it feel like that song that just unopened you [Camera is focused on Jon tied up and gagged in a chair as Nikola Orsinov brags into his tape recorder about having kidnapped him, her back turned to him the entire time; however, Michael and his door appear beside Jon after the word “song”, Jon looking very surprised/scared to see him] You were ten years old, holdin' hands in the classroom [Tim is helping Jon limp through the tunnels under the institute, the two of them looking pretty beat up; their holds tighten on each other after the word “old”, with Jon pressing his face into Tim’s shirt. Even though they’re scared, they still have each other’s backs] He had a gun on the first day of high school [Tim has his back to the camera and is facing a burning circus, triumphantly holding the detonation switch over his head; after the word “the” he presses it, causing the circus to explode, with Tim being lost to the explosion after the word “of”]  ((This line and the one before it are the reasons why this stupid idea exists)) You want something bizarre, old conceptual cars [Helen is standing in the doorway of the Spiral, grinning at the camera; after the word "bizarre” Peter Lukas is standing at the frontmost part of the Tundra, smoking a pipe with one hand while the other is in his coat pocket] You want girls dressed in drag, you want boys with guitars [Melanie slashes at the camera with a knife, her eyes glowing red; after the word “drag” we see Gerry as ghost levitating in the air and lying on his back, his arms behind his head and a content smile on his face while Jon’s panicking right next to him (and wearing a tacky “I <3 NY” t-shirt ‘cus I said so)]

Pullin' down backstreets, deep in your head [Jon is lying in a hospital bed during his coma, fast asleep, with Elias sitting in a chair beside him, reading a statement aloud; Elias lays a hand on Jon’s forehead after the word “backstreets”] Slippin' through dreamland like a tourist [Oliver comes to visit Jon at the hospital, and is leaned over Jon (from Jon’s POV for the camera angle); after the word “dreamland” it cuts to him having his back to Jon, hands up in surrender as he faces a suspicious Georgie] Pullin' down backstreets, deep in your head [Jon looks incredibly stressed in a shot of the archives, looking around for Martin; after the word “backstreets” Martin shows up in a cloud of fog behind him, visibly sad] Slippin' through dreamland like a tourist [Jon is crawling through the Buried, looking for Daisy, who he finds as a disheveled mess after the word “dreamland”]

You see Kodachrome, you see pink and gold [Melanie is laughing while sitting on Jon’s desk facing Basira after recording a statement; after the word “Kodachrome” it’s the same scene, but her and Jon are standing up, and she’s hugging Jon before she’s about to go and blind herself] You see Mulholland glow, you see in airplane mode [Jon and Daisy are sprawled out together on the floor of the archives, listening to the Archers and laughing; after the word “glow” it’s Basira and Daisy kneeling in the same spot, Basira trying to hold onto Daisy and keep her from giving into the Hunt as she begins to change into a werewolf] All 'round-'round your head, all 'round-'round your head [Jon and Basira are interrogating Manuela about the location of the dark sun; after the first use of the word “head” it cuts to Jon seeing the dark sun with his own eyes, tears running down his face as he smiles at it] All 'round-'round your head, all 'round-'round your head [Martin and Peter are navigating the tunnels together, Martin looking frustrated while Peter smiles; after the first use of the word “head” it cuts to Martin discovering the body of Jonah Magnus, his expression one of terror]

You float in the pool where the soundtrack is canned [Jon is searching the Lonely for Martin, calling out for him through the fog; after the word “pool” a smug looking Peter appears behind him, causing Jon to jolt in surprise] You go ask your questions like, “What makes a man?” [Jon confronts Peter, screaming at him from a few feet away; after the word “like” his eyes begin to glow green, and several glowing green eyes surround him and Peter, with Peter bending forward and clutching his head in pain] Oh, it's 2020, so it's time to change that [Jon is facing Martin in the Lonely, pleading with him face to face with his hands on his cheeks; after the word “2020” Martin’s eyes light up as he finally breaks free of the Lonely’s influence] So you go make an album and call it Dreamland [Jon and Martin are seen hugging each other for dear life; after the word “album” the scene cuts to them walking out of the Lonely together, hand in hand with their backs to the camera; the camera zooms in on their hands holding onto each other at the word “Dreamland”]

((I’m open to a few changes, but I will die before I let go of the Tim & Jon scene, which lives in my brain rent free))

[gerrydelano]

breakfast club au aka archives crew plus gerry. this was going to just be a small list but it turned into an actual post. i’m going to scream.

anyway. this isn’t actually a proposal for an AU it’s just drawing some parallels,  don’t take me too seriously i’m just vibing with the server and we keep FINDING THINGS that BACK UP THE COMPARISONS TOO WELL!

ahem.

gerry is andrew (but has alison’s aesthetic). you’d think he’d JUST be alison but nope! he’s andrew because he has the backstory similarity where they both do terrible things to please an abusive parent who doesn’t actually care about what they want, and who is trying to force them into the future they’ve imagined for them against their will and consent.

andrew doesn’t even like wrestling but has been forced to dedicate his entire life to it. gerry Obviously doesn’t like any part of what mary put him through, but he was trapped in it anyway and admittedly tried his best to blend in.

man, andrew’s dad isn’t even mad he did what he did to that kid in the locker room, he just said “the only thing you did wrong was get caught” which. hello. what. marycore. obviously gerry would never tape someone’s buns together but he sure does find himself in wacky situations thanks to his mother’s trade, so.

also:

andrew: you know, sometimes, i wish my knee would give...and i wouldn't be able to wrestle anymore. and he could forget all about me.

gerry: and honestly, there was a part of me which thought a life in prison was an alright price for freedom.

those sound pretty much the g-ddamn same, huh! wow!

there are so many andrew quotes that fit.

“you ask me one more question and i'm beating the shit out of you.” (idealized world where he could say that to julia and trevor. the vibe.)

“we're all bizarre. some of us are just better at hiding it; that's all.” (that sure is a thing gerry could have said himself)

“my g-d, are we gonna be like our parents?” (to which claire shakes her head and nauseously says ‘not me.’)

tim is alison (but has andrew’s aesthetic. it’s fine.) fun foil to gerry here in a hilariously convenient way because you’d Think he’d be easily pinned as the jock! but nope! he has way more of alison’s storyline progression and hangups!

long story short, Borderline King. i’m going on the gtcu hc for tim’s backstory which involves neglectful, judgmental parents who ended up kicking him out of the house a lot of the time. alison’s parents ignore her to the point where she legitimately just went to this detention for lack of anything else to do (or anywhere to go, really) and she’s in a Constant state of crying for help. tim is pretty much also constantly doing that when shit really hits the fan.

and they both push people away once they get too close. they have their ways of baiting people into asking what’s wrong only to shut down because they’re actually pretty scared to say it! and don’t think anyone can help them after all.

alison dumps her purse out and invites people into her discordant shit only to pull back and snap at people for getting too close/is clearly insincere and experimental in her “Go Away” when andrew tries to confront her like. she wants someone to fucking fight back and insist that she open up, she wants someone to Listen and Hear Her. looks at tim. gets real fucked up and sad.

and of course there’s also the fact that they’re both hilarious and really stand out; alison feels like an outcast, tim tries damn hard Not to be one and in doing so they both Stick Out and DO have an image assigned to them like everyone else. they’re memorable, distinctive people; and a lot of the time it’s for the things they do that make people uncomfortable (s3 tim, etc.)

jon is claire because he has mean girl potential. the drama. but also, y’know. has plenty of feelings but puts them in a Tiny Little Box for the sake of maintaining an aloof, socially distanced image and a reputation for being a lot more put together than they are.

“i have just as many feelings as you do and it hurts just as much when someone steps all over them!”

which she only shouted after being haggled and pushed to the edge of her composure, because it’s very easy to push her buttons and she’s holding a Lot in there that she just Does Not Want To Let Out Under Any Circumstance

another point: they’re mean to people they see as “lesser” for the sake of that image and distance. aka, season 1 jon before he wised up all the way. obviously it isn’t the same just bear with me for the sake of the very limited parallels.

also: stilted home life. claire uses her parents impending divorce to get things out of them which denotes a level of distance/sort of a political dynamic that hinges more on material items than constant emotional acknowledgment because they’re using her as a tool to get back at each other. jon sees himself as insignificant/burdensome to his nana, etc. they both have a cost and benefit mindset that’s instilled in them because of the way their guardians treat them. they probably felt more like furniture than people a lot of the time.

martin is bender. this guy had a punk phase. he is a lot more in your face than you’d think right off the bat and has Really Shitty Awful Parents. major difference is that martin is obviously not a pig and a bully and wouldn’t be that fucking gross to people if his life depended on it but you get the symbolic gist for the sake of just Basic Roles Played.

he’s extremely underestimated, not quite believed about things as serious as his home life because of some preconceived notion that people have decided must be true about him. everyone (especially authority figures) thinks they know what he’s like and then they dismiss him and don’t listen to him but he’s capable of a lot! both of creating things, and wrecking shit to piss off said authority figures.

he has a thing about fire & he destroys literature on screen and gets really mocking about it when called out. he’s the one who sneaks around pulling bolts out of doors and rigging things so they malfunction just to piss off the teacher and it just screams “martin burning statements” overall.

also, where brian dismisses shop as being “easy” or something because it’s more physical than it is academic, he speaks up to basically say “fuck off, no labor is unskilled labor, there’s only ever underappreciated labor and undermined talent and effort.” that’s a super martin perspective imo, he’s very practical and pragmatic and hands-on.

also:

bender: “i could disappear forever and it wouldn’t make any difference.”

that’s some lonely-touched bullshit right there!

sasha is brian. good old trustworthy reliable nerdy brian who has a hell of a lot more going on there. who sees everything and writes it down (archivist sasha!) who is the one to properly articulate the difference between being Who You Are and being Who People See You As Anyway. 

“we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. you see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.”

just all that identity crisis bullshit in there. putting it in words that no one is just one thing, no one can be defined that way. also brian speaks up against the idea that they would all just forget about each other and stop acknowledging each other after this specifically because their social groups don’t mesh. he actively denounces the idea of just IGNORING someone’s existence for whatever reason, and is very solid on the idea of holding onto connections regardless of the consequence. i’m just thinking about sasha being replaced and forgotten, man. i’m ouch.

so anyway didn’t expect to actually write this post the way i did but i guess that’s what happens when the server goes buck wild at 10pm right. anyway i’m shouting.

[yaboyspodcastpalace]

For the character asks: Jon, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane? (giving multiple suggestions so you can pick one in case you get the same character twice in different asks)

very kind of you to assume i get many asks :') THANKS ill do all of them u_u

[Send me a character and i'll tell you...]

(under the cut bc i love talking and this got long lmao)

Jon

First impression

he's a uptight prick with obvious favoritism for sasha and tim and i love him so! much!!!!!!

Impression now

my poor little mew mew hm................I've got a complicated relationship w/ jon bc i love him a lot, but i loved s1 him the most, and literally everything else just makes me really, brutally, sad ;_; The way he tries so desperately to cling to his humanity and how other characters just call him by the title imposed to him makes me wanna cry

...also he just cares so much ;_; i cry

Favorite moment

probably his interactions with georgie at the beginning of season 3!!! From s5 id say when he killed not!sasha, it felt vindictive ù_ú

Idea for a story

Dhfhdh im p basic when it comes to him ngl, either jon/tim/sasha friends to lovers or jon and desolation!tim or *something*!sasha trying to stay as human as possible, together 😔 (or just any of them living and coping together in s4 n s5)

Unpopular opinion

Im just not a fan of monster jon, at all! He's not the type of character that i enjoy seeing having a corruption arc unfortunately!! It just hurts!!! (and this Is from someone that Loves corruption arcs!!!)

Also i really hate moth jon imagery??? For not particular reason, moths are pretty, but i still hate it u_u AND THE ASSOCIATION OF GREEN W/ JON (or the beholding in general!) I CANNOT STAND IT!! i know its bc of the tma logo but guess what! Its wrong! Purple jon rights!!!

ALSO ALSO the so called pining he had for martin just.... didnt felt like that at all! i have Many feelings abt this!

Favorite relationship

either georgie in s3, or sasha!!! i love how he always praises sasha in her research in s1 and even thought he's at his driest & sharp Trying-To-Project-Professionalism-And-Skepticism she still rolls into his office, interrupts him mid statement to banter w/ him abt pronunciation n stuff and its just Normal, like that speaks volumes of how comfortable they felt around each other! they were friends gdi! the moment he realizes she died and then everytime the not!them mocks him w/ her death makes me wanna break smth q_q

im not even gonna mention tim bc even though i love their relationship It 👏 makes me👏 very 👏 sad 👏

non shippy and also staying strictly canon, i love his relationship with melanie!

Favorite headcanon

sometimes i think abt that one hc that hes really good with arcade games bc he lived near the coast and i smile bc thats cute :) also hes a trans man 💙💗🤍💗💙

Peter

First impression

Mystery evil captain man!!! Fog?? I LOVE him :)

Impression now

I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Hes an asshole and has a lovely voice and smile and hes not, hes not Dumb but also he's far from the whooooa evil lonely influence he think he is (played like a cheap fiddle). He also makes me sad in ways i cannot and wont describe, and its a shame that he died cuz he was the best part of season 4 😔 rip you beautiful bastard man i still miss you </3

Favorite moment

"It has blood on it" "thats Leitner's too :D". Also when martin was angry abt idk, breekon? Jon going into the coffin? Cant remember, but peter was like I said id protect the institute, that guys not my problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idea for a story

dfgdfg i have..... a petermart story that dealt with the different flavor of loneliness they both had, half smut half genuine meta of both of them and theorization on the branching of an Entity & how their powers manifested in other people...

basically, peter thinks hes hot shit when it comes to loneliness but gets overwhelmed when martin accidentally projects his feelings abt *fic's plot stuff* on him, its fun stuff!

Unpopular opinion

people either paint him like an absolute devil or an incompetent idiot and hes neither of them! hes an asshole who loves being an asshole but far from the worst monster in the show and he tried to do a clever scheme TWICE on his life and 1. while it was established that any of the rituals wouldnt work singularly the Silence was still a pretty clever attempt if it weren't for gertrude! and 2. well... he tried to manipulate someone petty and formerly supposed to be a web avatar, again not his fault, cant call him stupid for trying dfgdfg

i Do think hes kinda pathetic in some sense considering his backstory, but more out of personal pity than anything else

Favorite relationship

Canonically speaking him and martin! The pull and push of them was The best thing about season 4! Peter being a quite dangerous avatar and martin, beautiful and scared and kinda feisty, confronting him every chance he gets, peter doing his best to manipulate him and martin letting him believe hes succeeding (even thought, he is, partly). They're fascinating characters to have side by side

Favorite headcanon

Partly canonically speaking him and mikaele salesa :) they do bets together! They're lonely sea men! What else could you possibly want?

Also non shippy i like thinking abt peter's and simon's relationship but thats entirely non canon ♡

Diversity wins! The heir of the lonely is a gay man!

Also I think as every rich household(?) the lukases had many paintings and peter as a kid saw the ones w/ sailing ships and imagined sailing far far away from his family. That and seaman aesthetic fucks, which is why he always has the same vibe going on as an adult. He does Not know half of the things he'd need to know to have a ship though but hey he's rich and thats all he needs

Annabelle

First impression

thats a horrible psychological experiment they're making there D:

Impression now

THATS STILL A HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT AND ANNABELLE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER............. idk! she makes me sad in the same way jon (and to a degree, peter) does! to be a living puppet for the thing that traumatized you as a kid and that later kinda killed you / is the only thing keeping you alive, to be devoted to it scrambling to believe in a higher reason for all of it to happen bc to believe otherwise is............. anyway. i love her, and i feel so so sorry for her

Favorite moment

her "maybe ive never been to the beach" at the end of ehr statement (that i fully believe its bullshit but, yknow, i love that she adds that), most of her convos with martin, her "i told you this might happen" "you did, you did" with mikaele

Idea for a story

i think a lot about her having conversations w/ either mikaele (platonically) or sasha (shippy) and their different points of views and treat with her making her doubt the web a bit

Unpopular opinion

listen, listen, i know it sounds like im woobifying her i Know it but reading the scraps of her story how can i Not feel sorry for her? when the story framed her very similar to jon? the supernatural childhood encounter that gave them arachnophobia and the subsequential joining with an Entity against her will? the fact that both the story and the fans treat her like a spider woman always sat very very bad to me, and the fact that the story itself always framed her like a villain (considering All The Other Characters that get the benefit of the doubt) was extremely disappointing

Favorite relationship

her and mikaele!!!!!!! wish we could have seen more scenes of just the two of them!!!!!! *singing* he is her daaaaaad, hes her dad! boogie boogie boogie! (ok no but like... their offscreen friendship is my favorite thing of season 5 ;_;)

Favorite headcanon

Sigh i dont know...i still think she's scared of spiders which make her current existence harder but thats a sadcanon :/ umm...... i love the idea of mikaele and her cooking together from time to time! Mikaele showing her some plates he used to eat as a kid as he talks stories about his life :) and she listens and sometimes tells a story of her own! its been so long since he had a quasy normal conversation! its weird yet nice!

[radioromantic-moved]

i lied i’ve got thoughts again. these are always long but this one’s Long long since i infodumped for a couple of paragraphs in the middle because i deal with emotions through lengthy rants.

-LOVED fern creature. easily one of my favorite parts of the ep. i especially love that we launched into that right off the bat with no preamble.

-hartro’s good with disguises huh? good with costumes? good with...acting?

-s3 ending leaked. the main cast forms their own traveling theater production. i am speaking that into reality the way i did with enola’s return and hartro’s redemption. merediths if you can give me one thing let it be this

-i badly want to make a joke about helen’s “it’s very tasteful. there’s ferns.”

-me when someone asks me if stellar firma season 3 is any good. is that anything

-something something trexel spiral avatar something something they like ferns

-HARTRO’S RED LINE CONSPIRACY BOARD...you iconic little fucking gayperson i adore you. mwah. 

-okay i am thinking so much about trexel’s protagonist complex both on a meta level and a canon level. i mean on the canon level it’s just kinda sad the way most trexel stuff is. feels very emblematic of how he genuinely really needs people to pay attention to him whether it’s good or bad and it’s just now sinking in that part of that might be because of the parental neglect shit shit shit

-but on a meta level it’s even better. i was actually thinking about this in regards to tma the other day when i was reading the summary of it on the rq website. and so as not to spoil anything it obv just talks about jon trying to get the archives in order and having paranormal experiences, which is so much funnier in context when you know that. from the standpoint we’re at now it feels like that was an entirely different show. which is where we’re going with sf too i think, but the craziest part of that is that going in most people (me included) didn’t even expect david to be the main character. in the summary you’ve got “trexel geistman and his assistant.” if you count the teaser as canon content, he’s technically the first character we hear speak. not even touching on the aerith and bob situation (sidenote he’s definitely trans because only trexel would name himself trexel). then there’s the plot itself, which david and hartro lampshade point blank, and even call it “the plot.” this started as goofy planet-designing adventures and now it’s a socialist clone uprising, with briefs and submissions as the comic relief. and trexel’s not good at consultancy, and i’m pretty sure he knows that at some level, but he knows where he stands with it, and as long as he keeps doing what he’s doing at least he’s not gonna be the one getting hurt. but he’s terrible with change, and would rather stick where he is even if it’s worse for him (david’s place...f). he doesn’t have ideas for this, people keep leaving him out, and he’s becoming -gasp- a deuteragonist. maybe it’s giving him too much credit to say he knows that something big’s going on and he’s not at the center of it, but i just know that learning to be sidelined (or even, wonder of wonders, finding a way to Help?) could be good for him if he wasn’t such a FUCKING ASSHOLE.

-honestly though i really love the trope of “person who’s tried their entire life to be special is wholly unremarkable” paired with “chosen one who would do anything to not be the chosen one.” wait a second that’s oren and dario in scream all night huh.

-TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE.

-they/he david rights!!! but also :( because david is having to put himself down again. fuck you trexel!! be nicer to your only friend!!

-imogen snark is music to my ears. i love her i love her i love her

-wait we get a SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION for SWOLE CLONES??? THAT’S what we’re choosing to delve into? this sounds like i’m criticizing it which i’m not, i actually think that’s hilarious and i LOVE ridiculous scientific explanations of things so actually this might be my favorite part of the episode.

-no this episode’s genuinely given me a lot to think about but i think i’m gonna relisten to it in a little while when my emotions aren’t all fucked up. everyone is such DORKS and i love them (i love david and hartro and imogen. trexel’s on thin ice. i still haven’t forgiven him for threatening to leak everyone’s secrets because of his existential crisis.)

[kittensjonsa]

You know what's really sad here? Sansa is basically being called power hungry and is being threatened while trying to defend Jon's right as KITN, only for Jon it give away that easily. Like, wow, did not know you were capable of that Jon. I am willing to marry Sansa off to any guy whether Tyrion or Sandor or be alone as QITN as long as they don't pull the same shit cause our girl deserves SO MUCH more than this. Any thoughts please?

Sigh Anon, I’m guessing you have already watched the latest episode for you to send me this ask but well spoilers under the cut in any case..

 I don’t even know how or where to start with the antis’ hate for Sansa.. I mean, I did not plan to watch S7 after the first two episodes because it was clear this was going to be a Jackassrys (my version of J0nery$) season since Jon is stuck in Dragonstone for the most part. And it seemed like it was going to be the Danish Tartlet’s show and her dragons, so I was going to skip because her storyline since S3 has been a yawn fest and I wasn’t interested. If I wasn’t then, I wouldn’t be now. 

But then, a friend admitted to me that something bad happened when she watched the leaked episode, and she told me I was not going to like it. She’s a casual viewer, not the shipping type but she knows about how strongly I feel about House Stark and the North. I thought it was boat bang and said, nah, who gives a fuck about that, I don’t care as long as he doesn’t bend… And lo fucking behold, HE. DID. 

So I caved and watched the episode and OMFG am I going to rain down the salt! Yes, how could he. I too, did not know he would do that. I mean, I was happy when he said to Danish Tartlet that no, not here to bend and then he fucking took it back and cooed her name.. and bent his fucking knee. I am not convinced so much about the whole Jon playing D@ny because I don’t think the show writers will think that far ahead or be smart about it but if my fellow J0ns@ fam chooses to believe it then I respect it. It makes more sense, I just don’t have faith in Dumb and Dumber at all after they pulled the annulment bit.

But you know what made me happy though? The part when the grumpy old Northern lords admitted Jon didn’t give a shit and wished they elected Sansa instead. That to me is foreshadowing and yeah, I do want her to be Queen. I want her to be THE QUEEN. The younger and more beautiful to cast Cersei down and rob her of all that she held dear. Cersei killed everyone Sansa loved, killed her dreams even - wouldn’t that be poetic justice if Sansa were to be that Queen? Not you, D@ny, you and your dragons can choke. 

So yes, Sansa deserves better if show!Jon decides to go down the dragon pussy path. I ship Jonsa and will always do, only because I am still holding out for book!Jon for my Sansa. Book!Jon would never pull this shit his impostor on the show is doing. But in any case, I will go down with this ship, it’s Jonsa or nothing, baby - the only ship that makes perfect sense. But if all else fails:

Sansa Stark for Queen as endgame. *shrugs*

[kazhan]

Game of Thrones - s07-03.

So Jon actually shows up with five guys to meet the daughter of the man who brunt his grandfather and uncle, when everyone told him it was a bad idea, with the purpose of mining dragonglass.

Well, I do hope you still have that teleportation spell around, because you’ll need it to get all that dragonglass in time, right? Or perhaps he expects Dany will provide the men for that?

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy.

“I’m not a Stark.” Dragon suddenly appears.

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH, sooooo smooooooooooth.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand here we go, the so long awaited first meeting between Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons and….

Jon Snow.

The… hum. King in the North.

You know what? That made me laugh like hell, actually, but I think it was more like… nervous laughter? Thank the gods for Davos, that man is gold, I think he’s like the only character I still like on this show, with Theon. When he tries to bond with Missandei? It was so cute and silly, I loved it.

We are now watching the two rulers we’re supposed to root for, because they’re supposed to be the most legitimate, kind and competent ones and they are…. Acting like toddlers? Daenerys is like: “blablabla my birth right” and Jon goes “blablabla white walkers”? Dany expects Jon to bend the knee without knowing anything about her, except the fact that she’s the Mad King’s daughter? And Jon expects Daenerys to help him defeat the White Walkers when they’re supposed to be gone for so long people think they’re legends?  Okay maybe the fact that she has three dragons when they were supposed be extinct should allow her to think that what was supposed to be impossible may be possible, but still. She can’t believe the word of a complete stranger, right?

And then Tyrion asks: “If it doesn’t matter anyway then why don’t you bend the knee?” or something.

MY THOUGHT EXACTLY.

If it’s about not wanting to break the promises Jon made to his subjects, to the Northern Lords, then why don’t he tell her that? “I’m sorry, I’d bend the knee if it meant getting your help against the White Walkers but if I do so, everyone in the North will feel betrayed and I’ll lose my people’s trust, I can’t do that, but if you help me defeat the WW, then the North will see you as a good and rightful ruler and then I may be able to pledge my loyalty to you without losing all my allies.” There. Done. And Daenerys is supposed to be smart and kind, so she WOULD understand that.

But no, it’s probably more interesting to watch them bicker like an old married couple because it’s supposed to build up sexual tension for the Boat Sex™.

Ugh.

Oh, look, Varys the King of Timing shows up to tell Dany that she just lost two allies. Looks like she needs Jon Snow after all.

How convenient.

Tyrion and Jon’s scene on top of that cliff was… sad? Sad because instead of having a meaningful scene between two characters who have a lot in common, between someone who gave an excellent advice to Jon and made him see the world differently and think about a lot of things, they decided to make a joke about who’s the best at brooding.

We’ve sunk this low.

Back to King’s Landing. What more can I say about “Euron Greyjoy” that hasn’t been said already? He’s ridiculous. I feel sorry for that poor actor who has to tell lines like “does she like a finger in the bum?” and pretend it makes him the biggest meanie and scariest man of this season. I feel sorry for Ellaria and her daughters, whose characters were completely destroyed.

I don’t know what we were supposed to feel during that scene between Cersei, Ellaria and her daughter. If we were supposed to feel sorry for Ellaria, you failed. But I truly feel sorry for Indira Varma, because she’s amazing and her reactions could have been heartbreaking. But I just felt like it was fair. Like she was getting what she deserved, for murdering an innocent girl and her lover’s brother. I was on Cersei The Psycho’s side and I really didn’t want to feel like this, but that’s how I felt because of how incompetent D&D were with their dealing with Dorne’s plot.

But of course it didn’t last long, because we get to have a new incestuous sex scene between Cersei and… I don’t know who that man is. Really, I have no idea who he’s supposed to be. This is not Jaime Lannister. This is an empty shell who’s just here to fulfill D&D’s fascination for unhealthy and useless relationships. And it gets worse, because of course she doesn’t care anymore if someone sees them, so the handmaid gets to witness Cersei and Jaime in bed together.

“I’m Queen now.” Right, of course, forgive me, I should have thought of that. No Queen nor King ever were deposed because they weren’t acting like they were expected to.

Let’s go to Hogwarts, for a change of scenery. Sooo, Sam Potter broke the rules and took great risks to cure brave Jorah, so Mester Slughorn-Dumbledore gives ten points to Gryffindor! I knew at this point that Jorah would be cured and that it would be too fast. But that fast? I mean, the Mester told Jorah he had one night to decide if he wanted to kill himself or be sent with the other stone men to die slowly, right? So Sam cured him in ONE night? This is ridiculous.

WINTERFELL. You know what? I was so glad to see Sansa doing such a great job at ruling. Finally, we got to see her, the Queen in the North she should have been. Finally, she proves how smart and efficient she is. And by the gods, how GOOD it felt to see her destroy Littlefinger everytime he tried to speak. Until, of course, he said something that was supposed to be smart and meaningful, making her doubt again. It was so good, why d’you ruin it? Seriously, WHY? We all know at this point that Littlefinger will try to turn Sansa against the other Starks or a part of them, we all know that he’ll probably succeed a bit, or completely fail and then someone will kill him, he’s useless, WHY d’you keep him around?

And once again, it gets worse.

Bran is finally home.

Bran, my sweet summer child, is back to Winterfell.

I should have been in tears. Maybe I have high expectations concerning the Stark children reunions, but I think I’m entitled to have them. All the others are dead. She doesn’t know where Arya is, so she probably thinks she’s dead too. She lost everyone and she gets to have her baby brother back. I saw that on her part.

But what the hell. Did they do. To Bran? Is this their version of a wise boy? This emo creepy thing that don’t even SMILE when he’s finally reunited with his big sister after years?

If they wanted to show us that becoming the Three-eyed-raven (crow) changed Bran, maybe they should have shown it sooner? And that sceneby the weirwood…. Jesus Christ, that scene by the weirwoods!!!! I felt so SICK! I’ve never felt this sick in front of GoT, and god knows we’ve seen a lot of useless and badly written violence in this show, but THIS!!!!!

Her baby brother just deadpans how beautiful the night was when Sansa got raped. How beautiful she was in that dress, the night she got FUCKING RAPED!!!!!

WHY?

WHAT is the meaning of this??? What are you trying to achieve???? Is this supposed to show us that Bran lost a part of his humanity when he became that thing he can’t even EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!! Well it doesn’t WORK! Because it’s too much, too soon!

And why can’t he explain what it is? Because it’s too complicated for his silly sister who doesn’t know a thing about mystical stuff? Or because D&D actually have NO IDEA what it truly means? I’d bet on the latter…

Now, the… Mh. Battles? Can we even call those things ‘battles’? Tyrion telling what happened ruined it. Casterly Rock looked like shit. I still don’t see the point of taking Casterly Rock, Tyrion said it himself that Cersei expected him to attack the castle, SO WHY D’YOU DO IT???????????? WHAT IS THE POINT?

Oh I know: if Daenerys showed up in King’s Landing, she’d wipe the floor with Cersei’s ass in 3.4 seconds but that can’t happen because we need her to keep the throne and be the evil queen for the whole season so let’s make Tyrion do stupid things instead.

Sure.

Highgarden was as ridiculous as Casterly Rock. Seriously, if you’re going to be lazy about it, why d’you even mention it? Do it completely off screen, have Tyrion make a report to Daenerys about their defeat, have Jaime back to King’s Landing to tell Cersei he defeated the Tyrells, DO NOT bother with these ridiculous castles.

The Tyrell’s sigil is a golden rose, so of course they suck at war and lost their castle in three seconds. I mean, A ROSE!!! They didn’t stand a chance!!!!

Why do people keep warning Jaime about Cersei? I mean, when did he show people (except Brienne in s3  when they were still trying to follow the wonderful character development GRRM gave to Jaime) that he was more than her lap dog and the Kingslayer? At this point, shouldn’t Olenna think that he’s just as crazy as her?

Wait no, I think I know what they’re trying to do. They’re trying to prepare the audience for the moment when Jaime will finally stop following Cersei around (as he should have like…. Two seasons ago?) and probably even betray her. So you’re hinting that even if it makes no sense but you’re not hinting the dehumanization of Bran before he ends up telling his sister how gorgeous she was the night Ramsay raped her?

Wow. Great job.

Olenna dear, can I borrow your cup of poison? I think I’m going to need it.

[radioromantic-moved]

updated tma s/i storyline/backstory because all of my rusty quill inserts have an entire biography of background information apparently  (this is a Big Fat post. under the cut for length and tma spoilers up until season 5)

-little american smartass moves overseas to go to college, makes two best friends (jon and georgie), together they co-run the gsa and top the honor roll (also, they become a professional third wheel)

-they move back home after college, and keep in touch with georgie and jon as best they can, with life and adult stuff getting in the way. 

-fast forward a couple years and look out, england, they’re back for more! apparently, their two college bffs have both landed themselves paranormal-based careers while they were away, and they’re absolutely getting in on that.

-ze hangs out at the archives, annoying jon. ze befriends the assistants because who DOESN’T want to befriend the assistants. ze gets offered a job a couple times but ze doesn’t take it because getting paid for paranormal nonsense kinda sucks all the fun out of it. also, the boss creeps zir out a little.

-jane prentiss and the close encounter with the creepy crawly kind is what sparks the idea that ohhh, maybe there’s something Legitimately Weird going on here. and it pushes zir to give jon a statement.

-so maybe everything was not so totally normal the whole time they were in america. so maybe one of their friends bailed on a camping trip so they had to stay in a cabin with some guy they didn’t know and sneak out the window in the middle of the night when one of his “hunting trips” went a little fucked up. so maybe they ran over what was probably a werewolf with their car. (they’re actually pretty proud of that last bit. like, they not only survived but they HIT a WEREWOLF with their CAR. they’re totally the best horror protag.)

-they meet helen when she comes in to give jon her statement. they help her calm down and get some basic information out of her. there’s a little romantic tension there from the beginning (what if our hands brushed while you were drawing an impossible map filled with too many turns…hahaha jk…unless?)

-helen remembers that.

-they rekindle their friendship with georgie like they were never apart at all, though she’s not quite comfortable enough to share her fear-based deal with them yet. but they come over a lot and pet the admiral a lot 

-they’re a casual watcher of ghost hunt uk, and they know of melanie cause paranormal nerds attract paranormal nerds, yknow? they’re officially introduced through georgie, and strike up a nice friendship from there (as long as they don’t bring up the archives around her too much).

-in terms of entities they’ve definitely got something lonely-related going on. something about feeling unable to form any meaningful relationships and worrying that no one truly cares about them yet at the same time not having enough motivation to try and form bonds on their own, so they mask their emotions with humor and sarcasm and push away people who would get close to them. peter lukas has them pegged pretty well and is the first supernatural thing to notably rattle them. 

-whether they actually become an avatar probably depends on the storyline

-other entities with an opinion on them…the hunt thinks they’re annoying. most of them probably think they’re annoying, actually, at some point, which is sort of their goal. the eye thinks they’re sort of interesting. the spiral likes them, for obvious reasons.

-they sometimes visit jon when he’s living at georgie’s house in the s3 era. this is around the same time they’re becoming close with georgie like That, meaning that on occasion the tables will turn and jon gets a chance to be the third wheel. there’s also genuine friendship stuff going on, though. they talk. they believe him.

-at some point, helen pays them a visit in her new form. and listen, as a gay horror fan, they’d be lying if they said they didn’t sort of vibe with it.

-she visits them a couple more times, seemingly just to talk. she claims the part of her that used to be og helen missed their company.

-also tim doesn’t die in any of the good storylines because it’s my canon now and i said so. :)

-same for sasha. they’re all safe, actually, and everything is fine,

-they do research and pass it along to the archives team when they can and field a lot of sad calls from jon. he claims they owe him for listening to them cry about helen when they thought she ghosted them. 

-during s5 and the cosmic apocalypse, they take up shelter inside helen’s hallways. they sort of just stay in a little side room that shuffles their things around occasionally but it’s better than being trapped in their own personal fear hell. 

-ze has a domain of their own (cause if you aren’t feeling fear you gotta be making it) but ze doesn’t like spending time there. it creeps zir out and makes zir feel bad. the domain itself is partially spiral partially eye partially lonely. the lights are too bright and the music is too loud and everyone’s looking at you but you can’t recognize anyone or talk to anyone, and every time you try to get away to find a moment of peace you start to forget who you are, and where you are, and what you’re doing, so you ask around to see if anybody knows but everyone still looks right through you and won’t answer your questions. it’s very you’re at the party by lemon demon.

-ze hangs out out with melanie and georgie sometimes during the Stuff but can’t really stay for too long out of fear of putting them in danger. ze stops helen from eating their followers.

-ze eventually runs into jon as he’s traveling back to london and makes a pitstop in the hell hotel. ze initially just lets jon and helen talk but things really don’t go well at all and ze has to step in before they start killing each other. ze convinces jon that helen is trying, and what she says isn’t always truthful but she’s not going to stand in his way if he wants to set the world back to normal. not if it would hurt zir in the process. jon is skeptical but he trusts zir.

-good ends: the apocalypse is over! yay! everyone lives! double yay! they move back into their house but helen still visits them a lot. possibly, they move in with georgie and melanie. whatever the storyline they get at least one girlfriend which is epic and cool for them. they continue to be best friends with jon and complain about things with each other as a love language.

[jonathanssweatercollection]

jancy :)

* who hogs the duvet

well we know from season 1 that nancy like to bunch up her blankets against her face and chest, which I do too bc it feels like hugging, even tho there was a perfectly huggable softboy right THERE, as well as the fact that in jonathan’s first shirtless in bed scene – which i still go haha go crazy go stupid over – that he spreads his leggies all over the place and hugs his pillows plus in s3 he did the precise same thing; by taking advantage of the amount of room in his bed and was on nancy’s side bc he was bein angsty and sad and the pillow probably smelled like her :( so I might have to give this one over to jonny lad

* who texts/rings to check how their day is going

nancy, idk why she just seems Like That and always wants to make sure that everything is a-ok. jon would too but he’s way more anxious to use the wall-phone, 1. bc he takes after joyce SO MUCH and clearly has some hereditary anxiety bc he’s so empathetic and i hc that all the byers are autistic which makes perfect sense for them to be a bit more introverted and less likely to interact with others in a social sense and wow i’m talking a lot but anyways my answer is nancy

* who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

i’ve said it before but nancy clearly put a lot of thought in getting that camera for jonathan in s1 (steve too but that’s more of a fandom-agreed-upon headcanon) so yeah nancy

* who gets up first in the morning

in s3 when we first see nancy and jonathan (and my heart exploded) nancy DID get up first bc she’s so anxious about her new job but if u disregard their season three jobs and if u mean on an average day jonathan is waking up at the crack of dawn (that is, if he slept at all) and you KNOW that jonathan is gonna make her coffee and pancakes in bed 🥺💏🥰

* who suggests new things in bed

nancy. i refuse to elaborate.

* who cries at movies

modern nancy will ONLY cry at three films and those are: star wars: revenge of the sith, titanic, and the fault in our stars. jonathan on the other hand cries all the time at movies, sometimes at ones that he doesn’t even like.

* who gives unprompted massages

nancy, but jon is somehow more skilled at them. in the s3 finale she comes up behind him and cuddles him and squeezes her face int his back. that’s the closest thing we’re gonna get in canon.

* who fusses over the other when they’re sick

jonathan is the FUSSIEST boy when it comes to taking care of other people. EVERYTHING simply must be perfect for thems.

* who gets jealous easiest

they’re both very assured and stable in their relationship but i can see nancy being Worried sometimes when she’s too deep in her self-deprecation bc she’s had a shit week and nothing seems to be making her feel happy anymore and yeah she gets like that sometimes but jonathan would NEVER do anything to hurt her and he’d never even entertain the idea of abandoning her like that

* who has the most embarrassing taste in music

jonathan. yeah. he ain’t embarrassed tho. he loves himself he says emo rights he’s amazing.

* who collects something unusual

both!!! nancy likes to pick up spare screws, jonathan likes to pick up pretty pebble. they’ve done these things since they were kids.

* who takes the longest to get ready

not to be a cliché but nancy. look jon can be a bit slobby at times aight so he just finds the closest soft (ideally clean) clothes he can find and shoves them on. nancy prefers to take her time with her make-up and hair bc a bitch HAS to slay

* who is the most tidy and organised

nancy. we see her room is organised and clean and all Perfect and shit. jonathan on the other hand has books and clothes on the floor.

* who gets most excited about the holidays

oof it’s a tie tbh. in canon nancy LOVES halloween, inviting jonathan to the party and saying ‘you can’t spend halloween night all alone!!!’ or something along those lines AND she dressed up as a character from risky business. Jonathan adores xmas, i mean look at his face in s1 when will talks about one of his presents being an atari and he’s taking pictures of joyce and her “so runny!!!” potatoes and the byers have their adorable lil christmas tree all decked out and—i’m a mess

* who is the big spoon/little spoon

jonathan is the big spoon. nancy is the lil spoon.

* who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

don’t play monopoly with nancy. she can get Mean when she wants to. jonathan gets super into boardgames but he’s not gonna be a sore winner unlike SOME 👀

* who starts the most arguments

honestly like in s3, I feel like they start and end mutually

* who suggests that they buy a pet

surprisingly (or maybe not) jonathan!!!! we know that he LOVES small animals i.e the rat and the rabbit that l*nnie made him shoot plus there’s the “i’m a fan of thumper!!!” line so yeah that leads to him saying once nancy got home one day “i have good news and bad news. bad news is we’re gonna have to go to the pet store bc we’re out of carrots. good news is we have a new son!!” it’s a bunny he found by the side of the road and they name him thumper OBVIOUSLY

* what couple traditions they have

everyone has agreed upon movie nights, sorted by genre (like i said nancy is Very Organised) bc they decided to follow up w/ the byers family night traditions – so maybe it’s not technically a “couple’s” tradition but they’re a couple and its a tradition soooooo

* what tv shows they watch together

nancy is a golden girls stan. need i day more?

* what other couple they hang out with

this shouldn’t be as tough of a question as it is but idk i just like everyone bein all happy and in love plus i am a sucker for makin all my faves bi so i would say stali for the staloncy rights but i also would love for steve and robin and to be besties with jancy is s4!!!!!

* how they spend time together as a couple

like. all the time. i mean that’s quite literally canon

* who made the first move

i still can’t believe that jonathan kissed her first but he DID and i stan him

* who brings flowers home

jonathan would hand-pick them from the park bc fuck capitalism he is NOT gonna spend 8 bucks for a few flowers that won’t even look right he wants to make sure that those flowers are the Right colour and look Rights together

* who is the best cook

jonathan bc the bitch NEVER stops cooking!!!!! he makes breakfast every day!!!!!! he doesn’t critique joyce’s cooking bc he knows that it’s gonna be delicious he knows!!!!!!!! u better believe that bitch makes muffins every saturday like clockwork and they taste DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!