#sad fucking cat

[virtualizedvoid]

Nightmare eyes.

[wtfforged]

my campaign hiatus has gone on for too long so to cope ive combined my interests at their maximum potency and had some dnd-strawhats thoughts

thoughts in depth under read more... :)!

this is SO self indulgent. their designs literally did not change. but i am a firm believer that dnd doesnt have to be european high fantasy. and also one piece literally IS fantasy. no changes are necessary to fit into dnd. ive already imagined plenty of campaign/oneshot ideas inspired by one piece. so this was basically just an exercise of trying to replicate their canon abilities in dnd 5e as much as possible without totally homebrewing everything. well. aside from luffy. you just cant take away or change his stretching.

LUFFY: (human monk. drunken master subclass. outlander)

the only plain human of the crew to balance out with the fact that he still has rubber powers. obviously a monk. but drunken master subclass specifically because i think the flavor(not the fact that its about being a drunkard) and abilities both fit him really well. this line in the subclass' flavortext especially fits him: "A drunken master often enjoys playing the fool to bring gladness to the despondent or to demonstrate humility to the arrogant, but when battle is joined, the drunken master can be a maddening, masterful foe."

ZORO: (tiefling fighter. samurai subclass. bounty hunter)

a fighter with the samurai subclass is so very incredibly obvious... but i actually had a lot of fun geeking out while comparing the abilities to what he can do in canon; Fighting Spirit, Rapid Strike, and Strength Before Death especially! tiefling is also pretty on the nose for his demon pirate hunter shtick and asura form, but i thought he'd be really human-passing for a tiefling and theorized about his tail getting cut off at some point or another before joining the strawhats. initially wasnt gonna give him a feat, but i gave sanji a feat so i thought itd be unfair to not give him one as well, so sentinel fits the bill pretty well i think!

NAMI: (tabaxi rogue. arcane trickster subclass. criminal)

cat burglar -> full grown literal humanoid cat. this one is INCREDIBLY self indulgent... i love... cats... theres nothing deeper to this and no other reasoning. i took cat burglar and ran with it. can you tell that i love izutsumi dungeon meshi? rogue for the aforementioned burglar-ing as well, and the arcane trickster subclass for when she picks up climatact! the mage hand will be very useful for her pickpocketing. in the future as she levels up with timeskip, i can totally see her multiclassing into wizard as well! weather wizard!

USOPP: (lightfoot halfling artificer. artillerist subclass. urchin)

I HAD SO MUCH FUN THINKING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER SHEET. halfling's Naturally Stealthy ability lets him hide behind his crewmates since theyre (almost) all bigger than him, so its perfect for hiding behind zoro or sanji all the time. Lucky is also perfect for him, and I think Brave fits pretty well too when he puts on the sogeking mask. artillerist artificer is also very fun! tinkering and making magic items for his crew, and i think Eldritch Canon or Arcane Firearm could both be easily reflavored as kabuto or any of his inventions. for emphasizing his sniper-ness, the spell sniper feat was also necessary. i think hes my favorite of all the concepts. big ears and long nose combo is so cute to me.

SANJI: (half-elf monk. drunken master subclass. guild artisan (cook!))

race was mostly based on vibes i wont lie. squints. and that vinsmoke balogna or whatever too ig. but mostly vibes. along with the idea that i think a dwarf zeff raising him would be really funny and cute. monk is also obvious, and same subclass as luffy for mostly the same reasons. though the flavor fits him much less, i think the abilities still fit him perfectly, and this blurb specifically; "Your martial arts technique mixes combat training with the precision of a dancer." i really wanted to give him a different subclass from luffy, but i dislike all the other monk subclasses a lot and i found none of them fit him as well anyways, so to try and give them SOME differences, i gave him the crusher feat.

CHOPPER: (awakened deer(shifter statblock) cleric. life subclass. hermit)

this ones definitely a mouthful im sorry. awakened deer for obvious reasons, but due to magic instead of devil fruit stuff. when i was struggling with his race, i looked a lot at shifter because of his forms, but it occurred to me that itd be super cool if he could shift between all of the different shifter options instead of being stuck with just one to replicate his rumble balls. something like heavy point/guard point=beasthide, horn point/arm point(?maybe?)=longtooth, walk point/jumping point=swiftstride, and brain point=wildhunt. hed definitely need some kind of nerf though to balance out that homebrew... and cleric for class. duh.

ROBIN: (high elf wizard. order of scribes subclass. criminal)

robin is definitely the one i struggled the most with just because of her class. elf came pretty easily- shes very elegant and i think shed look cute with super long ears- and i landed on high elf instead of wood elf for the int-based abilities. i was really on the fence between sorcerer and wizard for her because i knew shed be a full spellcaster, but i didnt feel that any of the subclasses really fit her. i ended up going with wizard for order of the scribes since it focuses on texts and knowing everything. but also because robin with a flying talking sentient book would be crazy cool. it could also be similar to how she spawns mouths and eyes places to talk to or watch people. my "fuck it, why not. this would be rad. its my house" mindset kicked in with her i will admit. also the One with the Word ability made me cackle out loud when i read it. thats the funniest ability ever. anyways, i cant really think of a way to replicate her powers, but maybe we could just reflavor a bunch of spells to be her limbs or clutch; hold person, maximillian's earthen grasp, or evard's black tentacles. thatd probably work okay, and theres a handful of spells to replicate her ability to spawn eyes or mouths. unrelated, but i imagine nico olvia to be a drow. why? her hair is white. i am a simple man!

[havesomewafflefrys]

The doctor, standing there, with a face of pure jealousy and discust, as he watched Rose pet a fucking cat. Will NEVER not be funny to me.

[almoststedytimetravel]

Larry being an incredibly talented artist is the funniest gag in the Ace Attorney series. Every time he shows up, Phoenix and Edgeworth always make snide remarks about his art, but it's always really good.

Like from case one of the first game, Larry clearly had mad sculpting ability when he made the thinker clock. He's a good enough actor to play the Steel Samurai at an international display of goodwill. He was able to perfectly paint a variety of scenes he would only have seen for a few seconds across multiple games.

But he's always getting clowned on by the rest of the cast because he's such a pathetic cringefail in every other aspect of his life.

[kanekisfavoritegf]

I need someone to sedate me pls

Promise

“Come, rest your head on my lap, Choso.”

You called out to your boyfriend. He’d been anxious all morning. It was Yuji’s first day at kindergarten, and he was shit terrified, even more so than his little brother.

“What if he gets bullied?” He began, head fully resting on your lap. “What if he gets lost? What if he misses us?” He continued.

“What if he loves it? Hm, Choso? What if he makes many friends, and they help him if he gets lost?”

You stroked his hair softly as he hummed a sound of agreement. You two have been caring for Yuji since his grandfather passed, and even though he likes to deny it, Choso is so protective over him and you.

“I just don’t want to leave him alone; I’m not ready for him to grow up without me.”

“He won’t; he will have your memory in his mind every step of the way.”

“Fine.” He huffed and rose from your lap to sit next to you. But you can’t leave me either.”

“Me? Leave YOU? I would never.”

“Good.”

“Choso, you can’t leave me either.”

“I would have to be dead seven times over to ever even think of leaving you.” He said before leaning in close to your face.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

[fernsproutxx]

How tf do you make this rotting corpse in the ruined yellow bunny fur suit look good?? Like he looks like he would gently hold me??? And Michael?? he looks like he’d give me cuddles???? I love your art and I love the rotting corpse men

ahhh tysm! qwq

me too likes rotting men yes yes heheh

here, have these!

[pastadoughie]

in the club crying sobbing wailing screaming

[url-is-url]

I've seen posts about John Constantine dating Vlad Masters/Plasmius, much to the disgust of the Ghost Zone generally and Danny specifically. And I can see this happening because John Constantine, chaotic disaster bi gutter wizard extraordinaire, is also an accomplished monsterfucker and would 100% be down to get down with a half ghost. Man's been with King Shark (excellent material to seach on AO3 btw 😳) he's not gonna flinch at Vlad, even if it is weird that he has the same last name as his sister's husband.

HOWEVER. Despite being a shitty gutter wizard with a bad habit of getting his associates gruesomely killed and therefore tries not to have associates, Constantine does have a soft spot for kids. He doesn't like when things disguise themselves as kids, he doesn't like when things hurt kids. Number one most reliable way to get John Constantine to stick his neck out? Endanger a child where he can see.

So when John finds out what Vlad has done to a literal fourteen year old child? And that he tried to outright kill the clone kid? NOPE. It is OVER, and Vlad gets to find out exactly how and why this shitty gutter wizard got such a badass name as Hellblazer.

[bonecuisine]

I imagine that Raiden yelled at Kung Lao like the way my mom yelled at me when I told her all the fnaf lore at 11 years old when this happened

[convoloutedinjoke]

If Harry’s tragedy is that he can’t go on like this but he has to, Kim’s tragedy is that he doesn’t have to go on like this but he will.

[uncanny-tranny]

Blessing of the knitter/crocheter: may your hands never have cuts, bruising, sores, hangnails, or any other nuisance that would make your craft painful. May your hands and wrists never ache 🪷💛

[nothavinganygoodtimes]

when u do sketches of one character and ur two faves somehow invade the page

[turquoisemagpie]

Appreciate the little things.

Not to ignorantly deny all of the big bad things in the world, but to survive them.

[bulkhummus]

What I think is particularly heart breaking about this episode, is that Esteban is immortalizing a memory that Cecil doesn’t get to experience. Esteban knows about his grandfather, because he has heard the story several times before according to Abby, in fact they all just heard it. Cecil is experiencing, second hand, remnants of a memory that slides off of him. It refuses to stick.

There is something so poetic to me about Cecil being a reporter, a journalist, an observer, and doing everything to piece together a story from literal scraps of his own life, only to find its already been written for him. The story has already been told. Cecil doesn’t listen to stories, he tells them. I can think of nothing more infuriating than a story being told and not having a satisfying ending, or an ending that makes sense. Nothing within the story justified the ending. And yet we have seen it before throughout the show.

I am reminded of the episode It Doesn’t Hold Up, where Cecil watches the last few minutes of his comfort film Cat Ballou, changed and different. He has seen the same movie over and over and over again, and now the ending is different. In the drawing Esteban drew in 245, there is a shovel stuck into the dirt, and there is a boy climbing into a tree. In the ending of Cat Ballou, there is a man digging into the base of the tree. Just like in the episode It Sticks With You, when Abby, Cecil and their mother journey into the woods, and Cecil climbs into a tree over and over and over again until he can no longer remember the outing with his husband and son. Just like in Cassettes, when a young Cecil’s story is cut short, in an ending that Cecil refuses to listen to, immortalized on tape.

Just like in Liminal Spaces, when Cecil enters a space that is neither here nor there and is haunted by someone who tells him that he wants Cecil to remember. The very face that Cecil saw in Cat Ballou in It Doesn’t Hold Up. In fact, he tells Cecil he has no choice, before once again, he is pulled from the story.

Cecil’s whole life is one long interrupted narrative. It’s as if he is an old cassette that isn’t rewound all the way before pulled out of the slot and put back on a shelf. The next person to listen to the tape, unknowing, doesn’t realize where they’re starting off is not the beginning. There are things missing. Cecil has gotten so good at forgetting (and justifiably so) — has forgotten how to stop. He’s recording over the same tape over and over again until the tape inside is no longer coherent. I’m thinking, of the sound of a cassette being rewound, and how it could sound very much like how Cecil is often describing owl sounds.

So, how disquieting, to have your own family stare back at you, privy to information about yourself that you do not get to have. Cecil is there, quite literally, to construct a story for his town, but who is there to construct a story for him? A man you used to hate? A sister you aren’t sure you even like? A husband who you have forgotten before? Children who see and hear more than you realize? The listener?

No. Instead he will sit until dawn comes, and be made a fool out of trying to create a story, maybe even a better one, out of scraps of memories.

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

local dog unused to such fluff & tenderness, more at 8