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therainroguefanfiction · 5 years ago

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❉ 139 Dreams (Renjun Huang) Art

📑 Table of Contents

Genre: Friendship, Angst, Fluff, School AU ☁

Word Count: 1,362 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Renjun ☁

World: Kpop, NCT ☁

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

Art had never been your best subject, falling second only to math. It frustrated you because you loved art so much, having grown up with a father who could paint masterpieces with no effort at all. Meanwhile, you spent hours working only to produce a crudely drawn stickman whose lines weren’t even straight. You had followed so many blogs on Timblr, reading tutorials on how to improve your drawings, but none of it stuck. Your dream had always been to follow in your father’s footsteps, which only grew stronger when he died a few years back.

How could you possibly achieve your dream when you couldn’t even draw a proper stick figure?

After a while, you found yourself growing more and more envious of those with talent. You wanted so bad what they thought nothing of. You started to loathe those that could create masterpieces. In particular, you hated the art prodigy in your class, Renjun. He was one of the most popular boys in school, loved by all of the students and staff. He was kind and gentle but wasn’t a pushover by no means. His grades were excellent, he could sing and dance, and most importantly, he could draw realistic landscapes and portraits without even thinking about it. His photographic memory was nuts. He was the perfect kid, which only made you hate him more.

“Okay, class, settle down.” The teacher clapped her hands, smiling at her students excitedly. “The arts festival is right around the corner, and our class has been chosen to create the fliers! I’ll be dividing you into pairs, and it’ll be your job to work together to create a beautiful piece of art to represent this class and this school. Keep it clean!” she sent a sharp look to a couple of giggling girls in the corner, both of whom were known for drawing erotic comics. “No extreme violence or gore, either.” This time she glared at Haechan, who had already begun sketching out Godzilla eating a student. “You have two weeks to present your piece. The class will then choose their favorite three to represent us. And no, girls, you are not choosing your own partner.”

At the comment, most of the females in the class protested, all staring longingly at Jaemin.

You scoffed, folding your arms behind your head. “I don’t see what’s so great about him,”

Jaemin looked at you, annoyed. “I can hear you,”

“I know you can.” You spared your seatmate a bored look. “Doesn’t change the fact that I don’t get it. You’re just a guy, why do they worship you?”

He hummed, twirling his pencil absentmindedly.

“If only they saw you in the morning, they wouldn’t think you were so hot. Maybe I should show them.”

“Don’t you dare,” he glared at you. “Don’t forget that I have just as many embarrassing pictures of you as you do of me.”

“Che,” looking away, you knew he had you beat. What was the point of the popular kid being your childhood friend if you couldn’t show off his embarrassing pics?

“Who do you want to partner with?”

“Anyone but you.”

“That’s rich considering I carried you last project.”

“You only carried me because you felt guilty that your rabid fangirls threatened to hex me if I ruined your grade.”

“That’s not the point.”

“That very much is the point.”

“Ahem,” the teacher cleared her throat, raising a brow at the two of you. “Are you both done? Good. Y/N, choose from the jar, dear.”

With a sigh, you reluctantly stuck your hand into the ceramic jar and pulled out a folded slip of paper. Uninterested, you passed it to Jaemin, who opened it without a word.

“Renjun,”

Your body tensed and you whipped your head to look at him. Surely he was joking! He turned the paper around and, sure enough, there was his name written in the teacher’s beautiful script. “Fuck my life,”

“Language, Y/N!” The teacher scolded, but you just groaned, sliding down in your seat.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

Renjun approached you a week later, a determined but worried look on his face. “Y/N, hello.”

You glanced up at him before packing your things into your bag. He grabbed your arm before you could walk around him. “Let go,”

“Not until you tell me why you’re avoiding me. We have a project due, remember? We only have a week left and we’ve done nothing.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to yank your arm free, but his grip was firm. “You act like you’re incompetent. Just draw something and turn it in.”

“It’s a group project, not a solo one. We need to be working togeth – ”

“God you’re annoying,” you ripped your arm away, making him stumble. “I couldn’t care less if we fail. Do you?” You turned around and headed for the entrance of the library.

“Why do you hate me so much?” His voice was soft, weak. You almost hadn’t heard him.

The words made you freeze in place, hand tightening around the strap of your bag.

“Have I done something to offend you?” His voice rose a bit as he took a step forward. “If I have, please tell me so I can apologize properly.”

You felt anger starting to bubble in your chest.

“I’m not the best at reading people, so I may have done or said something that you took as offensive… but I never meant any harm.”

You scoffed, “Of course not.”

“Eh?”

You whipped around, eyes burning. “Perfect little Renjun never does anything wrong.”

“I never said – ”

“Shut up!” You screamed, gripping the front of his shirt. “What makes you so special, huh? You don’t even take art seriously, it’s your fucking hobby! So why… why were you blessed with effortless talent while I have to struggle with the simplest techniques! It’s not fair… I’ve worked so hard since I was a child to live up to everyone’s expectations, but I’m not my father… I’m not you… I let everyone down and they don’t hesitate to let me know. Was he even my real father? I…” Tears were rolling down your cheeks down, your hands shaking as they clenched his shirt. “It’s not fair,”

Renjun felt a tug at his heart. He pulled you into a hug, gently rubbing your head as you cried into his shoulder. The librarian sent him a look at the noise you were making, but seeing your state made her keep her tongue. Renjun sent her an apologetic look before slowly directing you towards the exit, not once loosening his grip. He brought you to one of the stone benches outside before digging into his pocket looking for a tissue. Finding none, he tugged the sleeve of his sweater down over his hand before gently wiping away your tears. You tried to push him away, but you didn’t have the will to.

“I never knew you were struggling so much.” He murmured softly. “I’m sorry,”

“I don’t want your pity.” You spat, rubbing at your eyes furiously.

“It’s not pity, Y/N.”

His tone made you look up. It wasn’t pity lurking in those brown depths, it was concern and care. He was genuinely concerned about you.

“I’ve treated you like shit for years, shouldn’t you hate me?”

“No,” he looked up at the sky, leaning back on his hands. “It’s strange, but the more you pushed me away, the more I wanted to get close to you.”

“You’re weird,”

He chuckled, sending you a bright smile. “I am~ but so are you.”

You scoffed, looking away from him so he wouldn’t see the pink dusting your cheeks. You both remained silent for a moment. “If… if I help you with the project, it won’t get chosen.”

“I don’t care if it gets chosen or not. I just want to create art with you.”

Your heart skipped a beat, ears turning red. His hand found yours, resting gently on top of it as his head found your shoulder.

“Your heart is too heavy, Y/N. Let me help you take some of that pressure off you.”

You didn’t answer, letting your fingers twist around his own.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

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berrynarrybanana · 8 years ago

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challenge // hs

request: Imagine: The reader is a famous YouTuber and Her and Harry make a couple video thanks :))

A/N: I know you were probably expecting something cute like the boyfriend tag or Harry being all adorable in a tutorial video and I really like this whole concept so maybe that will happen one day but this just sort of flowed out and it seemed so realistic to me and I just liked it so i went with it and I really hope you don’t hate it anon and I didn’t edit because it’s a bit long but I’ll probably go back later and fix some stuff if i need to and I really hope you enjoy this :)

Harry liked to consider himself as a private person.

Everyone wanted a piece of his life. They wanted to know the things he ate, the places he went, the people he saw, the things he did. They wanted every little part of his life on full display so that they could judge him, tell him how to live his life differently. He didn’t want any part of that life. So he tried his best to keep his private life, well…private. There were a lot of obstacles in the way of that form the paparazzi to people with camera phones, but the biggest obstacle of all was you. You and your camera that you toted everywhere. You’d never once asked him to assist in a video and if you ever caught a glimpse of him on your camera, you’d edit that part out. He noticed that you went to great lengths to keep him out of your Youtube career for more than one reason. When you’d first met, it almost turned him away from you, but he didn’t let something so trivial keep him from someone he liked so much. You had promised him then that you’d never put him on screen.

It was a lot to do with respecting his privacy and a lot to do with keeping him from boosting your career. You didn’t want your career to be built on being the brand of ‘Harry Styles Girlfriend’. You worked hard for your career and you didn’t want anyone saying that you were only with Harry to benefit your career. You didn’t need that in your life. So it was sort of an unspoken agreement that you kept Harry and your relationship to yourself. You’d managed to keep it under wraps though some people had speculations about your relationship after seeing you together a few times out to dinner with friends, snuggled up in a corner booth giggling away. But they had no proof. And that made you feel guilty, like you were lying to your followers and keeping something from them. You never wanted to tell Harry that though, you both had very different opinions about the whole thing.

But things were about to change.

“I got a call today,” You were standing at his kitchen sink, cleaning up the dishes as he cleaned up the mess he’d made making diner.

“Ah, aren’t cellphones wonderful little gadgets,” He chuckled, walking up behind you to rest his hands on your shoulders. He pressed a kiss to the back of your head in passing before he grabbed a dish towel, drying the dishes you’d already cleaned.

“Haha,” You rolled your eyes, hiding your amused smirk. “It was from a management company.”

“What was it about?” He was interested now, you could tell by the tone of his voice.

“You,” You said softly, glancing over at him as his hands stopped. “Well, the movie and you really. They want me to be one of the people who interview at the promotional opening.”

“Did you agree?” He asked, handing the towel over to you as you pulled your hands out of the soapy water. He crossed his arms over his chest, that serious look he had when he was working on.

“I really wanted to,” You sighed, biting your lower lip for a moment. “I would never do that without talking to you first. This involves you, it’s not just about me and my channel. Though we could do it and just be casual about the whole thing, it wouldn’t be hard.”

“Then why are you bringing it up?” He asked, tilting his head to the side out of curiosity.

“Because my channel and my entire career is based on the truth Harry! I’m honest with people about the experiences I have and the things that I use and what I like and dislike and people value that, they depend on my honesty and they connect to that,” You cried out, your brows furrowing and your throat thickening. “And here I am, lying to them and hiding away the biggest part of my life like it means nothing to me, like you and my career are nothing to me.”

“You feel that way?” He was always the best at staying level headed, keeping his calm during an argument or heated discussion. He had to be. You nodded, looking down at your hands. “Why have you never told me this?”

“Because I love you and…” You took a deep breath, looking back up at him as you quietly spoke. “I didn’t want to miss out on this amazing relationship with you. I’ve been so happy with you and I knew that I’d have to choose if I said something and I knew I would choose you and I hate that about myself. I should be stronger than that, Harry.”

“That doesn’t make you weak,” He disagreed, his voice going soft as he moved forward to wrap you in his arms. You rested your head on his chest, winding your arms around his body. “I wouldn’t ever make you choose, you know that?”

“I know,” Your eyes welled with tears as you thought about what you were going to say next. “You would have left me.”

“No,” He shook his head, glancing down at you the best he could with you attached to him. “Love, I would have stayed with you.”

“And given up your privacy?” You pulled back, looking up at him. “That’s just as bad, Harry.”

“How?”

“Because then I would be making you choose,” You groaned.

“Then what do you want to do?” He asked, pulling away from you. “Tell me what you want because I’m confused. Do you want me to make you choose?”

“No,” You frowned. “I just want it all to be easier. I want to stop stressing about your hand being in the background of a shot because your tattoos might give you away, I want to be able to go out and vlog and document my life the way I always have but with you by my side. I don’t want to take your privacy or make you do video tags, I just want you to be a part of my life.”

“I can handle that,” He said. “I would have let you do that from the beginning love, I really would have. You don’t have to hide me away and cut out pieces of your life. Just don’t focus on me, don’t ask me questions, don’t film me.”

“You don’t get it,” You whispered softly, shaking your head. “It’s not that I want to put you in the spotlight and put your life on film. I do this because I want my life to be on film, I want to look back and remember the things I do and the people I meet. This channel has never been about followers, it started out as a documentation of the things I love and it’s progressed into more. But if I try so hard to avoid you then I’m avoiding the most important part of my life at the moment.”

“I-“ Harry didn’t know what to say, the worry and frustration clear on his face. He was torn between giving you everything you wanted and keeping the pieces of his life tucked away from the eyes of the public.

“Don’t,” You said softly, dropping the towel on the counter. “I see the gears turning and I’m just going to say right now do not think about doing anything for me. If you come to me and tell me you want to be a part of my videos because you want me to be happy, I’ll break up with you Harry. Don’t give up your privacy for my benefit.”

“Then what do you want me to do!” He cried out, throwing up his hands in exasperation. “Tell me what to do here.”

“I don’t want you to do anything Harry I just want you to want to be a part of my life, I want that to be a choice you’re comfortable with making.”

“Well I’m not, I’m not comfortable with that,” He said bluntly. “You know that and you always have.”

“I know,” You nodded, clearing your throat. “I’m gonna go home okay, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Don’t walk away,” He said, his voice cracking and his eyes filling with fear. “Don’t leave it like this.”

“I’m not leaving, I’m going home,” You gave him a soft smile. “Just think about it, or don’t; that’s fine too. We’ll figure it out.”

“Will we?”

“I really hope so,” You mumbled. “Bye, Harry.”

Harry didn’t sleep at all that night.

He actually stayed up and he watched every video you’d ever published. He watched you go from grainy film in your bedroom at home to a clear image in your new flat. He watched you go through school and he watched you talk about why dropping out was the best for you. He watched you baking with friends and laughing, doing little dances in front of the camera as if no one was watching. He watched three years of your life go by, filled with travel and adventures. And then he watched the obvious change. He watched your videos become shorter, never filming at his house where you spent most of your time. He watched you go from filming at dinner, to hardly ever filming anything unless it was a review or recommendation video. Your vlogs were shorter and your cute little moments were all gone. He’d done that to you. He’d taken away a year and a half of your adventures and he locked them away in files on your computer, never to be seen.

He felt sick when he’d gone through the comments that talked about how you’d changed. How you’d gone from someone they could all love to a snobby and arrogant person with no merit. That wasn’t fair. They couldn’t say things about someone who was so worthy and so humble, someone so appreciative and aware of the things she had at her fingertips. It was blasphemous and it made him outraged. He realized then that he had to change something. He couldn’t let you cut your life up into little pieces the way his had been. He couldn’t let people speculate about you. He never wanted to see articles filled with lies to make you look bad, like you were in the wrong. He would give up everything to see you succeed, to see you happy with your career. His privacy was important to him, but you meant more than that. This wasn’t a peaceful, private life. This was being locked away.

He spent the night thinking about it all. Would it really be so horrible if he gave people insight to their life? Would it be wrong to be happy and let people see? He would do it if it made her happy. He might have wanted peace and privacy, but when he really thought about it she brought him more peace than anything else. She was his home, his sense of calm. She brought light to his life and she made him feel like he was complete. She wouldn’t ever overshare, he knew that. She would do anything to make him feel comfortable. They could compromise, something all couples had to do eventually. He wanted to compromise if it meant she’d be happy again. So he thought it through, laying there in his bed alone. He could just tell her. He could tell her to just take the interview and they could work from there. But he knew that somehow that wouldn’t work. She would do the interview and things would go back to the way they were. She would still keep him out of her vlogs and videos and nothing would be resolved. So he had to take the leap. He had to be in a video.

It was a good way to break the ice in a way, to ease the world into it gently. He could just pop into a vlog and tell her not to cut it out, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t be enough. He needed to do something bigger, a grand gesture. He was never a fan of them and neither was she, but it seemed like a good idea. They could sit down in front of a camera and just tell the world what needed to be said. Yes they were in a relationship, yes it was serious. That’s what the world wanted to know, so why not give it to them. She could go about her videos normally after that. People wouldn’t hound her after that, questioning her about their relationship status and how they’d met. They just needed to get it all out there in the open for the world to see and then after that things would calm down.

At least he hoped they would.

It was hard to film a video and keep your positive attitude up when you were feeling like you were at an all-time low. You didn’t know where you stood with Harry and you couldn’t keep your mind off of him. You kept thinking about the way he smiled, how he laughed, the cheery tone of his voice you were so used to hearing. You couldn’t stop thinking of the way he looked when he was asleep, his lips parted and his brows furrowed. He always looked so serious when he was asleep and it was adorable. You missed him and you’d only spent one night apart. That wasn’t unusual for you. You slept separately in your own apartments all the time. But this was different. You tossed and turned the whole night, contemplating giving up your whole career just to keep him next to you. But you couldn’t do that. No matter how much you loved him. You loved your career and you couldn’t be that girl. You would be so disappointed in yourself, ashamed of your decision, that you were sure it would drive you absolutely mad. So you woke up and tried to film your monthly favorites video like you did every Monday after the end of a month and you tried your best to smile, but you couldn’t.

You kept dropping things and trailing off in the middle of a sentence. Your eyes traveled around your room, looking over all of the memories, all of the little bits of Harry that were engrained in your room. It was absolutely insane how you’d let him into your life so easily but kept him out of it all at the same time. You felt ashamed for your secret, like your subscribers and fans weren’t important enough to you to see this part of your life, the most important part. But you could see Harry’s side of it as well. His whole life was documented after the band formed, he was constantly the focus of every media related website and there wasn’t a moment in his life that he could keep to himself. Until recently, after the band had split. He could go out more often without being ambushed, he could breathe without someone pointing at him from across the street. But if you went public with him he would lose that and it would be all your fault. You couldn’t risk that.

“So that’s why I really love the product,” You held up a concealer you’d been using, the one that worked magic on the bags under your eyes, but your heart wasn’t in it. “It can be pricey, but it really has an amazing quality for what it’s worth and I adore it. But I will be working on finding a less expensive dupe with the same quality as soon as-“

You stopped at the sound of knocking on your bedroom door. It had to be Harry. No one else had a key to your apartment and no one else could have just walked in and knocked on your door. You looked at your camera and then back at your door, clearing your throat as you called out for him to come in. The door opened slowly, Harry peeking around with a beanie over his short hair and his eyes wide and almost curious. He never bothered to come into your little office room. This was your private workspace and he didn’t want to disturb you in your creative process. He looked at the pile of things by your side and the camera and lights set up, clearing his throat as he opened the door.

“I can always come back,” He said softly.

“You’re okay,” You said. “What’s up?

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” He closed the door softly as you got up to turn off the camera. He held his hand up, quickly making you stop in your tracks. “Leave it on.”

“I’m filming,” You said plainly as he moved all of the things from the foot of the bed to the front. You stopped him, grabbing your little basket from the floor. “If I stick it back there it’s visible and it’ll look messy.”

“Oh,” He watched as you put everything away. “I want you to leave it on because I want to talk to your followers.”

“Subscribers,” You corrected him, your brows furrowing. “Why do you want to talk to them?”

“I have some things I need to say about us,” He said nervously. “They all deserve to know about this part of your life. They’re all so important to you and everything that’s important to you is important to me.”

“I feel the same way,” You said softly, shaking your head. “Which is why I can’t let you do that. Your privacy is important to you and it would be so selfish of me to take that away. Your life is always on display and that’s not fair of me to ask that of you.”

“I can’t hide away forever,” He said softly, his hands reaching up to pull his beanie off. “Maybe if I give them all what they want they’ll lose interest? Maybe the curiosity is what makes me such a hot topic?”

“And if it isn’t?”

“Then people will see me in your vlogs on occasion,” He shrugged. “I’m not going to do a whole bunch of Q&A’s about us. I think one little video explaining our relationship will be enough for now and people won’t feel so much like you’ve ambushed them if they see me in a vlog. Which is another thing we need to talk about. You can vlog at my place you know, you can talk about me and mention me and you can turn the camera towards me every now and then, I won’t mind.”

“Harry are you sure?” You asked. “We can’t take it back once it’s out there.”

“Poisitive.”

“There’s a lot of my life that’s documented online and actually that’s why I started this channel. I wanted to look back and see the experiences I’ve had and relive them and I want to see how happy I’ve been throughout my life. That’s something that’s always been important to me and this channel has always been a way for me to express that. Recently, I’ve found myself in a situation that’s kept me from documenting and it was a decision made between me and this very lovely, human sitting next to me. I never wanted to exploit our relationship and I wanted to respect Harry’s privacy because it’s honestly not easy for him to have any kind of privacy. I was never trying to hide anything from anyone as a way to feel superior or because I didn’t think you deserved to know. But it’s come to a point in our relationship where we’ve agreed that it’s okay to document it. We won’t be doing many videos like this together but you might see Harry a little more and he might be present in my daily vlogs and we feel like you deserved an explanation for that.”

“You know,” Harry spoke up softly, looking over at you with a small smirk. “We should have just done, like, the boyfriend tag or something and made a game of it.”

“Why, so you can pout when you lose like you do at scrabble?” You giggled, your gloom suddenly gone after just moments spent with him close.

“I do not pout,” He said, playfully offended as he shook his head.

“You’re such a sore loser!” You snorted. “Honestly I, along with several others, can attest that.”

“Attest?” Harry said, curling his lip playfully as his nose scrunched up. “This isn’t scrabble love.”

“Anyways,” You chuckled, turning back to the camera. “I want you all to know that I kept my relationship with Harry private for a reason and it had nothing to do with you. I never meant to betray anyone’s trust or make you feel like you didn’t deserve to know. I wanted to respect Harry’s privacy and the privacy of our relationship.”

“But now we wee with the doors open so all hope of privacy is completely gone, the barrier is broken,” He said to the camera, an amused smirk on his face.

“Harry!” You rolled your eyes, smiling. “I do not pee with the door open. You do, not me.”

“Seen all my bits and bobs anyways, how is it any different,” He shrugged as you groaned, pressing your face into your hands as you tried to suppress your laughter. “I’d like to say something to all of the followers-“

“Subscribers,” You interrupted him, but he kept going.

“Thank you for making all of her dreams come true and giving her this opportunity. Thank you for loving her almost as much as I do because she’s amazing and she never takes any of you or anything she has for granted,” Harry slipped his hand over your thigh, out of the camera’s focus. “Please like this video and subscribe and love her forever and ever because she does really good cooking tutorials and if she didn’t teach me how to cook, I would probably starve and I’m sure I’m not the only one.”

“Thank you for watching this video, it was a little impromptu and spur of the moment and not very organized but a favorites video will be put up tomorrow and a vlog will be uploaded tonight. Thank you and I love you all, goodbye.”

You and Harry both waved as you got up to turn the camera off.

“That wasn’t horrible,” He said softly. “Edit that part about my bits and bobs out please?”

“I was going to,” You chuckled, turning back to look at him. “You can still change your mind you know, it’s not uploaded yet.”

“I don’t want to change my mind,” He smiled softly, holding out his hand. “I love you and I want you to be able to live your life with me in it.”

“I want that too,” You smiled as he pulled you between his legs, his hands going up to your hips, his fingers gripping you tightly. “We’re you serious about that boyfriend tag game? Because I’d totally kick your ass at that.”

“Oh, I doubt that love,” He snorted. “I definitely know more about us than you do.”

“I officially take that as a challenge, Styles,” You quirked a brow, nodding.

“Good, because loser has to give the winner a full body massage every night for a week.”

“You’re on.”

#harry styles au #harry styles one shot #harry one shot #harry #my writing

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