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#school genuinely takes up more time and effort for me than a full-time job. i don't wanna hear anyone complaining lol
non-un-topo · 1 year
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Time to shift into academic mode and close all my fun tabs ;_; (ao3, google docs, research I was trying to cram in so I could write a short fic before the semester.... rip)
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x0llaz · 4 months
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Ten Things I Hate About you
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Jung Sungchan
Chapter 1) first impressions
WC~300
Masterlist. Next.
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It was Sohee’s first day at his new school, he had spent his morning talking to counselors, teachers, and the principal. He was finally assigned a buddy to show him around for the rest of the day. He walked into the hallway and saw a taller boy waiting across the hall.
“Sohee?” The other guy called.
“That’s me,” Sohee said meekly.
“Great,” the taller approached. “I’m seunghan, I’ll be showing you around.
Sohee was used to the routine, get paired with a buddy who felt pressured to sticking with him until he switched schools again. Make in-genuine friendships that could last just until he was on the road.
But as he walked with seunghan, who took time to not only show him around, but made an effort to fill him in on anything he should know, he felt more at ease. It felt like seunghan was having more of a genuine conversation- though it was mostly one sided.
“Ready for the fun part?” Seunghan asked with a smirk.
“What’s that?”
“The cliques,” Seunghan gestured to the courtyard full of diverse groups of friends. “We have your usual preppies, jocks, nerds,” he lazily directed Sohee’s attention across the area. “But we also got theater kids, IB candidates, and plenty of other genres of douchebags,”
“Riveting,” sohee sighed. It was going to be a long year.
“Tell me about it,” seunghan laughed to himself. “There’s a rumor that the band kids suck each other’s dicks at contest,” seunghan cracked a bright smile that made sohee laugh in shock.
“How would you know that?” He asked.
“Word gets around,” The older shrugged. “Anyways, we can go-“
“Holy shit!” Sohee interrupted as his eyes caught on someone’s figure.
She was slim, with long hair, a pretty outfit, and big eyes that made his heart pound. “Who’s she?” Sohee asked breathlessly.
“Her? That’s Yuna,” Seunghan sighed. “Take a good look, that’s as far as you’ll ever get,”
“What group is she in?” Sohee finally turned his gaze away.
“She’s not just in the group, she is the group. They all revolve around her. She’s the queen bee in her class, even upperclassmen know about her,” seunghan explained in admiration. “But shes kinda off limits so,”
“What? Why?” Sohee furrowed his brows.
“Her dad’s a real nut job about dating and stuff. He hates the existence of teen pregnancy,” seunghan told the younger.
Sohee just frowned. “Okay… what about… that guy,” he gestured to the group of guys by the wall. The guys were all huddled around each other, checking out girls as they passed by.
“That’s jeno and his little dream team,” seunghan mocked. “Ridiculously handsome, but there’s nothing going on in their heads,”
“Huh,” sohee shifted his gaze to a girl who was sitting at a table by herself, earbuds plugged in, drawing on a sketch pad. “What about her?”
Seunghan looked over at her. “Oh man, don’t,” he shook his head. “That’s YN, Yuna’s older sister,” they watched as she continued drawing. “She’s a nice girl deep down, but man can she be a bitch,” they watched as some of her friends joined her. “Her friends are the only people she talks to, other than Yuna, or Jeno when she wants to rip him a new one,”
“Sounds intense,” Sohee felt tense as he heard about her.
“Yeah, but she’s nice when you get her talking,” seunghan said, when a group of guys passed by them. Sohee noticed how other students looked up to stare.
“Them?”
“They don’t have a name. They’re just kind of insane.“ seunghan faked a shiver and sohee huffed out a breath. It was going to be a long year.
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First chapter is kinda just a silly little intro! Next chapter will be a full smau and we’ll get into more stuff >:)
Taglist: @allyoops , @snowyseungs , @seobstarr , @hollxe1 , @Mmmewxgthn, @haeeeeefer , @dinosluver , @sseastar-main , @st4rryhae , @m1ng1swife , @hisrkive , @user7520, @nattys-girl , @papichulomacy , @so-lychee , @nicholasluvbot, @onebnis,
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orionsangel86 · 5 months
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You know, I thought we were done with the ageism in fandom thinking that its purely for teenagers? Because it doesn't help anyone to have the attitude of this (now blocked) anon. People don't stop having passions and being fans of things just because they get older. Fandoms thrive BECAUSE older people put in the effort to MAKE them thrive. Do you really think that 100k word perfectly written epic fanfic that you adore so much was written by a 16 year old? Because I guarantee it was more likely to be written by a 35 year old mother of 2.
That amazing cosplay of your fave character you saw at a recent comic con that took phenomenal skill and probably a good deal of expense to look perfect wasn't put together by a 17 year old high schooler, it was perfected through years of passion into a hobby that more than likely required a full time job and a savings account to afford.
That amazing fanartist who has the BEST art of your OTP that captures their likeness in a really gorgeous style? They weren't born with that talent. It takes years to develop a personal art style, and capturing a persons likeness in art is a skill that has to be nurtured. The best artists are the ones who've had years to develop their skills. They aren't school kids. I have had mutuals on this site for a decade now and I have seen how much their art has improved and become absolutely beloved. These are people who at their youngest are in their late 20s now. Most of my mutuals are in their 30s, some of the best fanfiction writers I know are in their 40s and 50s. The meta writers I know are also in my age group. Hell, do you think teenagers run AO3? You'll be surprised just how many "old people" make the best fanworks. If you removed them from fandom spaces, I guarantee you would remove most of the talent, because no offence to you kids, but that talent is something that is nurtured over time, and time and aging go hand in hand i'm afraid.
The people who make fandoms what it is, the ones running events, pouring themselves into analytical posts, providing the best fanart, coming up with the amusing memes and textposts that go viral? Do you REALLY think they are all school kids? Fandoms are made up of PEOPLE, and newsflash assholes, people AGE.
This attitude always amazes me. There isn't an age limit in fandom. This isn't fucking Logan's Run (bet you the kids won't understand that reference) and honestly if these kids genuinely think they need to give it up and quit at a certain point in their future I just pity them.
Fandom thrives because of the older people that have nurtured it for years and carved out a space where younger people can enter in comfort and safety. Which are only possible BECAUSE older people built online fandoms and continued to put in the work to keep them going. If we all had to stop caring and leave fandom at some specific cut off date, the fandom landscape would be a vastly different space - and probably a lot worse for being predominantly run by hormonal teenagers - heh, I guess it would be a lot more like TikTok and we all know how dreadful TikTok has been for fandom so far. If nothing else that alone proves my point.
At the end of the day, no one can stop the passing of time. Even the horrible children who send adults nasty anons. Eventually, they will be the "fandom elders" and receiving their own anon hate from a future generation of brats, I personally can't wait to be the very old lady laughing at them when that day inevitably comes.
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Sunrise of the Soul
This is the most self indulgent drabble to ever have existed.
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CW: Full time job (this is a joke for me). I think it's all just fluff with mentions of nsfw activity. Let me know if I need to update!
Story takes place when characters are mid to late 20's however, I'm not even sure if that matters. They're not teenagers in school is the only bit I'm getting at. Yuuta x Reader
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You can feel your body slowly melding with the bed. Yuuta takes another hit, notices that you are good and relaxed. Docile is what he calls you when you’re stoned. You let your guard down and become malleable. He exhales and puts out the blunt.
“Hey, come here”
You blink out of your trance. You had both decided on Family Guy to mindlessly relax to since it involved low brain activity to process. He adjusts so his body is more open to you and his arms are open. You languidly move into his arms and you both adjust. Your head resting on his chest with your leg in-between his. He has one hand smoothly running up and down your back, slowly getting lower each time. The other hand is holding yours on his chest.
Small kisses start. First you give small pecks sporadically to easily accessible spots. His chest, the hand that holds yours. He kisses the top of your head. Then he lets go of your hand so he can tilt your head. Slowly kissing from the top of your forehead, down your nose, across your cheeks, before finally teasing the corners of your mouth.
You begin to adjust your body. Your movements weren’t the most smooth, but deliberate.  Need moves you. The need was always there.
That was the thing about you and Yuta. That’s why you were in bed together. You were constantly ready to fight. Ready to protect the people around you. So worried that even you yourself might be a danger to them. But Yuta was strong, he didn’t need to be protected from you. And he was kind. The type of kind that you knew that even if you both were in a situation where shit hit the fan, he would still be the same person. He didn’t wear a mask. You felt legitimately safe with him. And that was how he had gained your trust. After months of being in his presence. Feeling relief when you knew he’d be your partner on a mission. After many nights of simply getting to talk to him. To hear who he was as a person. Genuine. You started to fall in love. This doe-eyed man who spoke with compassion and love for his friends. Who even in dire situations, didn’t turn cruel. You knew you could trust him in the ways you longed to trust another human being. In the way that made you feel equal to him. You didn’t feel like you had to fight to prove your humanity to him. And the need started there. At first you thought you were sick. This would end badly, right? Getting too close to people was bad? Trusting people led to being hurt? Loving someone meant they would leave soon, whether by death or their own volition? Your walls started coming down, as much as they could for you.
You both started to hang out as more than friends. And you started to realize that you wanted him there. You would ask specifically to be partnered with him. You made sure to accept any invitation given by him, and to make the effort to invite him to anything you did. You started to feel safe. And it scared you. It still did. To trust someone was the most serious commitment you could make in your world. But Yuta was worth it. Yuta, even if he did decide to leave, would do so to the credit of both of you. Kindly. With love. And always with good reason. He made you begin to understand the thought “it was better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all”. You understood. Because even if he did decide, or even need to leave, he made you a better person. Your life was enriched. The colors seemed brighter. Life less hectic. You felt like you could make it through the day. Knowing that people like Yuta existed brought new vigor to your work. It wasn’t just about keeping people safe anymore. It was about making sure that people would be able to continue to have the time to make the world better.
And you longed for that. To be around it more. And he seemed to want you around more too. Meeting up twice a week outside of work for a movie or a coffee, turned into daily lunches. Then it turned into nightly dinners. You began to stay later at his place. He began to spend the night at yours. Innocently at first. He started on the couch in the living room. But then smoking and watching tv before bed was brought up. Neither of you could remember who said it first. But with the tension being so palpable, the thought was probably agreed to before either of you was ever brave enough to utter the thought aloud. And you became so calm once he got you to smoke. You weren’t against it, it was just never your drug of choice. Preferring alcohol and dancing, smoking just didn’t seem like the correct fit for you. But after the first time you smoked with him, he noticed a visible change in your demeanor almost immediately. You went from a tiger pacing its habitat to a cat basking in the sun. Your muscles relaxed. Your shoulders moved away from your ears. The crease between your eyebrows smoothed itself out.
Then he was in your bed. Over the course of a week, you each took turns braving the task of moving closer to the other until finally your head was resting on his chest and he had his arm around you. A nightly routine now.
Shortly after the nightly sleep-overs began, he braved kissing you. It was after breakfast. You were washing the dishes while he got ready for a job. He came behind you and put his arms around you. A small, swift peck was given to the back of your head before he quickly let go. You were able to turn and catch his hand before he was out of reach. You pulled him back to you and that’s when your first kiss was finally able to be shared. It was awkward, as most actions are when they’re first done. Something about wanting a scenario to go well has the propensity to make every possibility go wrong. But he was more than eager to enjoy the moment. You soon realized he was going to be happy with you no matter how awkward your firsts were. Yuta wanted you. Wanted to enjoy you. And soon you began to relax. Hands roamed and months of tension were able to begin to slowly release.
He left for the job that day before you both could truly express yourselves, but both of you had added a new layer to the relationship. And from then on, when you were able to be alone, your time was more physical.
At first it was like you both were in middle school. Light petting. Over the clothes mostly. Hands started to roam. He let you lead. Even in your more relaxed state he could tell that this was something that you needed to have more control over. And he was always cautious with you. He wanted to protect you. Wanted to keep you safe. Most of all, he wanted you to feel safe with him. Because of him. He wanted to provide you with the security you so desperately craved. So, if that meant moving at a glacially slow pace that was driving him mad, he would do it just for you. He hoped he was hiding how feral he was becoming from you. He had to start putting times when he could masturbate into his schedule so he wouldn’t overwhelm you. It had started innocently enough. Masturbate before you both met up for coffee. If the tension got too high at lunch, he could just claim stomach problems. Public restrooms had been used for worse. And bowel movements seemed more appropriate than explaining that the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed made him want to show you how much he valued you in the best way he knew how. Physically. Usually, he stuttered when he wanted to tell you the right words. Express the depths of his sincerity. But physically he felt sure. He knew that was an area he could excel. Even if he wasn’t experienced, he knew he was capable.
And then one day you cooked for him. And then the next night he cooked for you. It was easier then. More prep time. Maybe a run to let off some adrenaline before he saw you. Or he would shower while you cleaned up. Him showering at your place led to him staying on your couch. He had a few sleepless nights debating the morality of stroking himself while he laid under the borrowed blanket. You were so close. Your door less than 20 feet from him. He could walk to you. Begin by climbing in bed. With how high your anxiety was, he’d be surprised if you were a heavy sleeper. In his nightly fantasies, he thought of taking you in his arms. And because this was his fantasy, you were more than eager to have him there. You would practically jump him. Sometimes, the thought of you simply excited to have him in bed was enough to make him want to skip the debate of morality on your couch. But Yuta was always polite, and just went to the bathroom like a gentleman.
It wasn’t until you started sleeping nestled in his arms that the visits to the bathroom became too much. He didn’t know how much more he could take. A toilet wasn’t in comparison to what he wanted. The damn toilet which he had memorized by his countless visits was the reason he was finally able to swallow his fear and attempt to kiss you. He had just finished and washed his hands in the sink. He couldn’t do it anymore. He needed to get somewhere with you physically. Since you had started smoking together you had emotionally opened up to him. Even going so far as to drop vague hints that he was only in your bed because you liked him. Stating that he was the first person you had ever trusted this much. The first person you felt comfortable letting your guard down with.
He marched out of the bathroom with determination. But even strong men are vulnerable when faced with rejection by the women they love. You had never explicitly said that you like him. That you wanted him to be in your bed as more than a placeholder and instead as a boyfriend. With that slight twinge of doubt casting a shadow on his hopes, he decided to play it safe and give you a hug from behind. A swift peck to the back of the head. And as the doubt grew, he pulled away in a hasty retreat to the safety of the damned toilet who knew all of his flaws at this point. But you did what he could only hope you would do. You pulled him back to you. You kissed him. And every fear he had vanished. He felt light. Giddy. The girl he loved might be hesitant, but once you were ready you were responsive. Your arms were around his neck and hands in his hair before he could process what had fully happened. He felt like he was in a bubble. And damn his alarm for telling him he needed to leave. To go to the job. He had seriously debated a sick day, but he didn’t want to rush it. You had fully began to show how much trust you were placing in him. To be kind. To be gentle. He didn’t want to ruin it by making you show more faith in him than you were ready for. So, he went to the job and left you to process your side.
When he came back a few days later, tired but mission complete, he wasn’t sure what to expect. At first, of course, you were nervous. You both were. But he immediately felt protective the more nervous he could tell you were. For the first few months after he had met you, he didn’t think you knew what nerves were. Anxiety, he could tell, you had in abundance. People equaled danger in your world. But being nervous about a day-to-day interaction seemed unheard of. You were usually cool and collected. You were more about getting the job done, but never getting close. And then he started noticing it on your coffee dates. Your hands would shake so you’d put them around your cup. Take a drink every thirty seconds if you couldn’t figure out a situation. And he could tell now that he was back home. You were practically chugging your water. Folding your napkin in incessant patterns at dinner. He had the blunt ready so once you were out of the shower, he could help relax you. And relax it did. You became so affectionate the moment he looked at you. You had been laying a little out of arms reach and he turned to ask you to move closer you. But the moment you saw him start to open his arms, that was all the invitation you needed. You were a little more clumsy than normal, but a small smile would play on his lips and he would go to meet you where you stumbled.
It took a few more weeks before you were comfortable enough to be naked with him. Day by day you became more bold. Stealing kisses in the safety of your apartments. Until one day you kissed him at the train station. You both were going to opposite sides of Japan. So, away from the crowd you pulled him to you and gave him a quick peck. The blush that spread across his checks matched yours. A wide smile spread across his face, and for the first time you truly felt what it would be like to be loved by a man like Yuta Okkotsu. To be cherished and enjoyed by someone who absolutely adored you.
And that’s why you were finally ready when you got back from your mission. He had surprised you when you walked in the door. You walked in to the smell of baked goods and a homemade meal. Your apartment was immaculate and a bath with candles was waiting for you. He had timed your arrival to the minute. That was something he would do. Thoughtful. You had complained about how you were sore and needed a long warm bath just that morning when you had first spoken to him while boarding the train. Texting about chocolate chip cookies you were craving from your hotel bed. He had thought about it. Grand gestures weren’t your thing. They scared you if anything. Usually, they made you wonder what was wanted in return. Every gift demanded a return. But the way he had smiled when you walked in the front door. The way he seemed barely able to contain his excitement. He almost yanked you to him and hugged you. He didn’t even kiss you at first. Just held you there with his arms around you and his face buried in your neck. You had been the first to kiss him. Adjusting so you could get a better angle to show your affection.
“I’m sorry” he pulled away apologetically, “I have something prepared to you that’s better warm.” And with that he pulled you to the bathroom.
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ms-demeanor · 1 year
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Hi ms-demeanor, I've been following you for a long time! This may be oversharing, but as someone who has recently gotten an RD license, I do not think the amount of work that went into the degree + volunteering/leadership/clubs (to get the internship) + $ you pay for internship is worth the end salary. If you scroll through r/dietetics on Reddit you'll see this is a fairly common opinion in the USA (especially with the new Masters requirement) and Canada. Just wanted to warn you that most of my colleagues (many who also chose dietetics as a 2nd degree) regretted not going into nursing/ physician assistant/ coding roles for better pay with similar amounts of effort.
If you're choosing this path for other reasons and you know it's for you, then go for it and I am happy you are pursuing something you like! But if someone had told me these things 6 years ago, I would be in a different career right now XD. Whichever way you choose, I sincerely hope it works out for you.
So I did actually scroll those subs back in February when I was running into a wall with applications and it was part of what made me absolutely certain that I wasn't going to take out private school or out of state loans to pursue this degree.
I saw a lot of what you're saying: people unsatisfied with the career options, people unsatisfied with the pay, a really competitive environment that was exhausting and expensive (the encouragement to volunteer in nutrition fields to apply for the internship was particularly upsetting; you've got to provide unpaid labor in your free time to apply to provide unpaid labor full time in order to get a job that doesn't actually pay that much? Fuck that. That sounds like bullshit. I'd do it, probably, but that's fucked). I think I've still got enough genuine interest in the subject to apply if there are local schools accepting apps in the fall, but I've heard enough that I'm not going to chase it if that door is closed.
Like this is something I've been kicking around in my head for about ten years because of how difficult it has been to live with a severely restricted diet and how much I would like to help other people in the same boat, so I do have more of an interest in nutrition than in nursing for nursing's sake.
But becoming a nurse practitioner is something that I've also been kicking around in my head for a couple of years because that does open up routes to being a specific type of care provider that interests me.
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flappingpussylips · 10 months
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i'm gonna describe two different jobs and i'm gonna ask you guys to pick between them. no one can decide where my priorities lie, but i'd like to know what other people might do.
Profession #1: Pros: -pays extremely well -very good hours. A choose-your-own-hours type of job. Will never be anything but a 9-5. Three day weekend most of the time. Allows for getting paid full-time for working part-time hours. I could also bounce between companies and work for multiple companies. -once I get my license for this profession, it's incredibly easy to keep it renewed and so I could potentially have this career in my back pocket forever even if I take a 10 year break or something -can sit down whenever I need to Cons: -notoriously difficult schooling -extremely hard on the body; some people even start developing problems before they're done with training. Some people work out hard everyday to combat this; others pay physical therapists or chiropractors to help them. Basically everyone ends up with some sort of problem though. It's common for people in this profession to work only 5-15 years max in this career before they make bank and switch to something else -the work itself is extremely repetitive and never changes. Many people say they have to sing songs to themselves or daydream all day to stay sane. -almost no room for growth or climbing up the ladder. There's usually nothing new to learn and no promotions to be had. -it's client-facing and I'd have to do small talk all day every day
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Profession #2: Pros: -I'm much more genuinely interested in the actual day-to-day work in this profession than in profession #1 -I would never have to see or speak to a client/customer ever again in my life. I'd only have to worry about my coworkers/department. -the environment in general is highly appealing to me, from the types of people I'd be working with to the literal type of building I'd be in. -has lots of room for growth and learning. It's not too hard to take knowledge learned from this career and do bigger and better things with it. I'd always be learning something new -I get to experience helping people in my own way without ever speaking to or touching them Cons: -pays worse than profession #1 (like 1/3 less) -has terrible, long hours frequently. Like 12 hour shifts from midnight to noon is what I could potentially be working sometimes -would be constantly on my feet -this is a "behind the scenes" type of job and the efforts of people in this profession are often ignored or overlooked, despite being incredibly important. the kids next door will always get the pizza party -the workload is highly unpredictable
*if you read this whole thing I love you :) pls vote
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northwest-cryptid · 3 months
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I feel like I want to prefix all of this with saying I have nothing against those who go by the books and sell out and forego their own identity to make streaming as a career a reality for them.
But I also want to say that I will always support those who try to make it without doing all that. Listen I get it, it's hard; and that's exactly why I respect them for it.
I've been trying to find the middle ground, people tell me just play Genshin it's popular; but are you kidding me? Do you know who I am? Do you think I'd stoop so low as to play a game that glorifies the mass murder of my people? No thanks man.
I legitimately felt emotional seeing the support I was given by the Mabinogi community because I'm actually pulling numbers on par with my peers; the very same peers who did very much decide to just sort of sell out to whatever got them the most viewers and interaction.
I'm not looking down on them, if anything I was always a little irked by it because it was a constant reminder that I should do the same.
Yet here I am actually slowly amassing a small community with higher viewer averages, more engagement on my streams; and it seems like I can actually deliver a fun experience to those who stop by.
Streaming as a full time career is something that will take a lot of work; it's going to take a fair bit of effort, I need to dedicate myself to it and it's not easy. I'm planning to sign on with a proper studio later down the line; or at least audition with a few. Even if it means having to give up some form of identity to adopt another they want me to use.
However as it currently stands I don't have a lot of options, if I'm being honest that's not why I outright seek streaming though.
Sure I'm physically disabled, sure it's difficult for me to do any form of physical labor; and yea I know I can't hold a "real job" like people would love for me to.
Truth is, I've always wanted to be some form of an entertainer; I've always wanted to help people the way entertainers helped me. When I was young I focused so heavily on being a game developer, I wanted to create a world for people to feel like they belonged. I felt that way because Mabinogi gave me that when I was an outcast in school. The older I got the more I realized that being a game dev wasn't actually a job I could just pick up and do. It was a lot more challenging than that; I worked with a few smaller indie groups and every time I got burnt.
I had my intellectual property stolen, I was basically let go when they realized they didn't want to pay me for my services since they "didn't need to" considering they held all the legal rights to my work.
I realized that streaming was something I could just sort of, do. I grabbed a webcam, a decent mic; and OBS. I just sorta started streaming whatever; tried to stick with things I actually want to show other people; tried my best to create some kind of space for a community to feel welcome in.
I see the way people feel towards streamers, and while I understand the need to keep a distance (believe me, I really do) I also want to be a big enough streamer to properly house myself, keep food on the table, support my loved ones; and also be there for an audience.
I want to be a streamer who can genuinely put my audience first when it comes to what sort of things I bring to the screen, obviously caring a lot about my own interests and such as well; but I want to be someone who can brighten peoples days you know.
When I was young I remember telling my family that my life goal wasn't so lofty as to accomplish world peace or anything like that; but that rather I wanted to try my best to make someone's day a little better every day. It didn't matter who, it didn't matter how big of a deal it was. If I could make someone's day just even a little better than it was, then I was doing something good for the world as a whole.
So yea, I guess if I'm being honest; whenever I think about what I want to do for a living, there's nothing that comes to mind; but streaming? Streaming is fun, it allows me a sort of outreach; to talk to people, to help people.
I get to be there for others, I can entertain them; help make their days a little brighter and I also get to be an entertainer. I get to put on a show, play up a silly character and have some fun with it.
I don't want to have to sell out and be someone I'm not, I don't want to have to endorse games I don't support. I want to be me; and I want to be there for my community.
This is the first time in a long time I've felt like maybe I can do that; even if being me mean I get to play the role of a silly eldritch demon here to claim dominion over the realm in the name of my great elder god lol.
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thisadhdlife · 10 months
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I'm alive: A Life Update
Hey ya'll. I hope you've been doing well! I think the last time I actually posted anything was back in March of 2023. So, to say that it's been a while would be an understatement.
A lot has happened since March; wow, feels like an entirely different lifetime when I compare it to my life today: No, my life isn't perfect (whose life is?) but a lot of things have happened since then.
Everyone here who reads anything I write knows that I was formally diagnosed with ADHD in 2021. We're now rapidly approaching the end of 2023: Hard to believe we'll be entering the month of December in not too long.
Back in March I was on academic probation at my community college, trying all kinds of classes here and there, but never making headway. I eventually ended up stumbling across Clinical Research Coordination as a career field and haven't looked back since. I spent the Spring and Summer semesters of 2023 digging myself out of academic probation, and at the end of summer, I submitted my for application to join the academic program at my school.
I should emphasize the significance of this: I haven't found something I'm genuinely interested in studying since 2016. So, the fact that I was interested enough that I worked my ass off to get myself out of probation to be able to apply to the program should tell you something.
Once I crawled out of academic probation, I got this weird and insane idea that maybe, just maybe, I could be an honors student (can you believe it? ME? An honors student? lol) I certainly wouldn't believe it if you'd have told me a year ago. But... somehow, someway, I managed to push my doubts and fears (of embarrassing myself) aside and took the plunge into the honors program. And... surprisingly, I LOVED it.
For the first time in my life, I wasn't only surviving: I was thriving in an academic environment. For most of my life I've been a D-average student. Today, I have a cumulative GPA of nearly 4.0; and, as of this year, I'm also a lifetime member of Phi Theta Kappa. I couldn't believe It: Me, someone who's been on a razors-edge of being kicked out of school multiple times in my life and has had to literally beg administrators to be able to stay in school... me, being invited to join an honors society. Because I was part of the honors program, I got to conduct and write my own research paper (got credit for it from the school too!) about ADHD! Because I joined Phi Theta Kappa, I've had the chance to travel and network with people I would've never met before.
At the beginning of 2023, I was worried about paying for school, covering tuition, fees, and expenses like books and supplies. Today, I'm on multiple scholarships because I've been treating applying for scholarships and writing scholarship essays like a part-time job since the Spring semester (2023). I didn't expect to win... but, as it turns out, when I'm not lost to the brain-fog of ADHD, I can move mountains with my efforts. As of right now, I have 100% of my school expenses being covered by merit-based scholarships: This is something that I always thought that "people like me don't get. It's for others. Those much smarter than me." and yet, here I am: Honors Student, Phi Theta Kappa member, and nearly a 4.0 GPA in college.
It might sound like I'm bragging, but... I'm not. I'm simply writing down the things that have happened to me. It's hard to believe, because I used to be one of those people who was never good at school. Could hardly even pass a class with a C, let alone handle a full-time courseload, with As across the board.
I'm thankful for the opportunities that have come my way, and I'm thankful for the people I've met so far. To think that all of this started with ONE simple decision to seek help for ADHD. There are more things I need to do, of course. But, I think it helps to take a moment and take-stock of the things that have happened over the last year or so.
Until next time, ADHD-fam. Love ya'll.
P.S. Happy (late) thanksgiving if you're in the US.
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venusguks · 3 years
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Unlike You
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pairing : jeon jungkook x fem!reader
summary : As daydreamy and romantic as you are, you decided true love was going to have to wait for you tonight. That was because tonight, you were getting laid !! ...Your best friend doesn’t make it easy for you when he finds out why, though.
warnings : smut, dom!jk, sub!reader, unprotected seggs, fluff, bsf!jk, degredation, dumbification, possessive jk, jealous jk, fun sexy times, jk is whipped for mc, oral (fem receiving), body worshipping, jimin/reader but only for a sec
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“A club?” Jungkook raised his brow.
He was incredulous and slightly displeased as he watched you pace around your room. It was rare after all, new to see you like this―in a black, satin dress with a slit high enough to make him upset. He didn’t need you catching anyone else’s attention, especially in a neon lit bar full of ravenous people.  “For the seventh time, yes, Kook,” You huff, jarring your mouth slightly to dab a dreamy red over your plush lips. 
You couldn’t recall the last time you felt so confident as you applied mascara and tickled a delicate pink over your cheeks. More than anyone, Jungkook couldn’t recall ever seeing you this way, this excited to be amidst a crowd of sweaty bodies. You honestly didn’t see why he was being so apprehensive, it wasn’t like you necessarily hated parties―you just always preferred the coziness of your home better. Huge social interactions were never your thing, and that was okay. Being an introvert wasn’t something to be ashamed of anyway, but staying in came with the everyday comforts of baggy sweatpants and sweaters.
So could anyone really blame you for your excitement? You just loved the way getting ready made you feel, missed it. You already knew you were beautiful with or without makeup, but damn did it make you feel confident.
“It’s just...” Jungkook furrowed his brows and ruffled his hair. “This isn’t like you, love. Did something happen? Are you okay? We can talk about it, if you want. Whatever it is, I’m here to listen you know.” 
You sighed exasperatedly at your best friend’s reflection through your vanity. His eyes were uncertain and full of concern as he watched your figure with crossed arms. “Koo, we’ve been over this so many times already. I’m nervous enough as it is, and you’re not helping at all. I want to do this, okay? It’s been awhile. Plus, I haven’t seen the others boys in so long.”
A part of you didn’t want to be annoyed at Jungkook for his incessant worrying, but it truly was hard not to sometimes. “You’re being such a fucking dick, you know that?! Can’t I just live my life without you being so fucking hysterical about it every time?! ” It was that winter a few months ago when you unleashed all your pent up frustration. Jungkook had always been overprotective, and you appreciated him for caring, but he just made it so hard for you to even breathe sometimes. It was the biggest argument you guys ever had when you started dating a boy a few years older. You ignored Jungkook’s calls and messages for weeks, but when you discovered that he cheated on you, Jungkook was the first to be by your side. You still remember the assurance and safety you felt in his arms; with his soft lips against your forehead, murmuring sweet consolations as you sobbed on his shoulder. After that day, Jungkook agreed to be less protective. 
“I just don’t get why it has to be a club. We could meet the hyungs anywhere else, baby.”
“Oh sure, maybe a strip club would do,” you said, chuckling when you see his shock. “I’m kidding, Koo.” Though that wouldn’t be such a bad idea...
Maybe you couldn’t blame him for being so appalled. You usually opted out whenever your friends went out to celebrate, which by the way, was rather often. Night after night, the few of them would call you, practically beg until they realized their efforts would end in vain. By the morning, notifications would spam your phone of their wild night; pictures and details that showcased hookups you didn’t need to know about. Now that you think about it, it was sort of ironic that you’d always grimace to the crude texts.
That was because tonight, you decided you were getting laid.
That’s right, to hell with sweet, wholesome love! If true love had to make you wait, true love would have to wait for you too! Your subscribing 48K readers have been expecting a new chapter of Spring’s Breath, an erotica series, which you’ve delayed for 2 whole months now. You didn’t exactly know when your writers block came, but by the fourth hour you stared at your blank screen, unable to come up with any other synonym for dick or thrust or moan; or how the overused dirty talk you wrote made you cringe―you realized the firecracker you had in writing erotica died out.
It was your dear friend, Hoseok, who suggested the whole ordeal. He was the only one who knew your secret, anyway. You had so much trust in him, so when he professed that maybe if you slept with someone, your spark would come back, you had truly considered it. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, no cons would come out of it. It was just odd to think about.
You have always been such a huge romantic, your literature proved it. Jungkook nor you nor anyone would anticipate you hooking up with someone just to hook up with someone. The tenderness, the connection, the intimacy... you’ve always prioritized genuine adoration over whimsical one night stands. You were an honest daydreamer, and maybe that’s why your works would always take off.
But maybe... maybe it was okay to let go once in awhile.
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When you mentioned Jungkook being less overprotective, you forgot to put an emphasis on less―because there he was, his hand possessively squeezing your inner thigh every time you even dared to look at a cute boy. You let out a frustrated sigh when he nuzzles his nose into your neck.
You tried not to mind it. It was just in his nature anyway―ever since kindergarten when he found you crying over your dropped ice cream. Jungkook left only to come back with another cone, rubbing your fat tears away with the palm of his sleeve. In elementary school, he peppered you with tiny kisses when you sobbed over the death of your kitten. You’ve only had him for a month, dedicated all your time to him and skipped play dates to care for your little serendipity―but just like that―he was lifeless. It was Jungkook who found him on the road. In middle school, he’d go through the enveloped confessions in your locker and rip them apart, saying you deserved better than any of them. You’ve always looked up to him througha lens of admiration. Everything he did for you, he did it out of thought and care. It was sweet.
It was times like these where you really started to mind though. 
You’ve been giggling with your friends for the past hour, catching up on every minuscule detail. You were sitting in a booth wedged in the middle of Jungkook and Hoseok, brimming with happiness to see Namjoon and Yoongi again. Its been so long, and your heart would swell to the stories you’ve missed out on.
The night was carrying on delightfully! ...except for the fact that Jungkook sent death glares to whoever even glanced at you. The countless of times you shyly returned someone’s gaze, only for them to rush away when they caught sight of your best friend left you agitated. When the boys were engaged in a conversation about a class they all shared together, you decided it was a good time to bring it up. 
Gulping a shot down, you let out a huff. “Kookie...”
“Yes, baby?” He whispered into your ear, his large hand grazing the access of your slitted dress.
“Stop it.”
“Stop what, love?” You sharply inhaled as Jungkook rubbed sensitive circles on your skin.
Immediately standing up, you squeezed yourself out of the booth. “I’m gonna go dance!” You yell through the loud music, avoiding Jungkook’s eyes, because seriously, the nerve of that man! The rest of your friends cheered, “We love to see you like this, y/n! Enjoy yourself, cutie!” Hoseok laughed when you blew a kiss to him. He made you feel so much more at ease, so much more confident. Okay, you got this! No use in sitting around. You couldn’t get anywhere tonight with Jungkook by your side, anyway.
Fluffing out your hair after you downed another shot, you strut your way into the dance floor. Your hips swayed in a rather alluring manner as you made your way into the crowd, your fingertips tracing seductive lines from your hips up to your waist, your neck and finally, into the air. The alcohol slowly took its effect as your confidence settled in, rolling your head back and moving your body fluidly to the loud music. 
Truth be told, you didn’t know what you were doing, just knew you must’ve looked good as hell doing it as you felt hands grip your waist. You gasped as a body pressed against your back, sticky with sweat.
“You’re so captivating, princess,” His dulcet voice was enough to make you weak...or was it the alcohol? Whatever the case, get your grip together y/n! It was just four words for star’s sake! 
“I, um, th-thank you...um! You too..” Your confidence from only moments ago dissolved with your voice. “So shy now, princess? How come? You were dancing so sexily just moments ago.” He chuckled lowly against your ear, nibbling it. You whimpered to his brazen touch, his hands guiding your hips with his. “Are you shy for me? Is that it? What a cute little princess you are... so beautiful, fuck.”
Annnnnnnnd you truly were fucked. You professed only hours ago that true love could wait, that you’d be a different woman tonight, yet you couldn’t help but feel bashful to the man’s praise. His voice and his nectar sweet words enough to make you feel wobbly.
“I’m Jimin. Can I know my princess’s name?” He pressed his hardened member against your ass, the silk thin fabric barely doing its job of coverage. “Ah Jimin,” you moaned breathlessly as he kissed your neck. “I...I’m-”
“―Mine,” a low, husky voice finished. Jungkook stood behind you, jaw clenched and arms crossed. The veins on his biceps protruded under the incandescent lights; His white shirt and tight, black jeans doing wonders to complement his physique. 
“Are you deaf? I said she’s mine so why the fuck are your hands still on her?” Jungkook had always been intimidating, even when he didn’t try―so in the rare times he did, even he scared you sometimes.
Much to your disappointment, Jimin immediately lets go, hands in the air, “sorry man, I didn’t know.”
“W-what? Wait, he isn’t my...!” Before you could try to reach for the pink haired man, Jungkook firmly takes your hand. “Y/n, we’re leaving.” You didn’t even have a second to feel shocked before he swiftly guides you through the ocean of bodies. Loud music reverberated with your disappointment, and by the time the night’s cold air stings your cheeks, you've processed what just happened―what you just missed. It’s when Jungkook latches your seatbelt on and drives that you feel anger simmer in your chest.
“Why did you...Why the fuck did you do that, Jungkook?” You were exasperated with your emotions. You just didn’t get it. You were finally having the time of your life, finally stepping out of your comfort zone, finally dancing with a guy who made you feel amazing―just to end up on a drive back home before anything could happen. “Seriously, what the hell is your problem? That was my..! He was..!” You groaned, too frustrated to conjure up words.
Jungkook scoffed, “what, y/n? He was what? Your soulmate or something?”
“I didn’t say that! And even if I think so, why does it matter?! I was having fun! I was having so much fun and you just..! (hiccup) I was having so much fun....” You cried into your hands. “I haven’t felt that way in so long, j-just for you to mess everything up. God, I can’t even muster up words right now. I hate you so much.”
“Love...” Jungkook finally sighed, shutting the engine off. You had cried the whole ride home. The anger he once felt diminished with your tears. “Baby, please look at me.” 
“F-fuck (hiccup) off, Jungkook.” You quickly unbuckled your seatbelt and opened the car door. Knowing him as long as you did, you knew he would take your chin to force you to look up at him―but you had enough of him for the night, and honestly, the whole week.
You were just so fucking frustrated at everything. At Jungkook for unnecessarily budging in, at your writers block, at your own sexual frustration left with Jimin. What did you have to offer your readers now? A heartbreak of a possible relationship that never happened with a shitty friend on the side?
You tuned out Jungkook shouting from behind you, striding to you complex and up the stairs.
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It wasn’t long after you slammed the door shut that you heard it click open again. You had forgotten Jungkook had an extra spare of your keys. “Just leave me alone, Kook.” You groaned, storming off into your room.
You kicked your heels off and stomped to your bed, taking out your frustration on your pillow where your sobs were muffled. The bed dips down when Jungkook sits beside you, silent as he caressed your hair in the way he always did to soothe your nerves.
Deciding it wasn’t enough this time, he carefully lifts you up to sit on his lap, sliding his arms around your waist to pull you into his chest. Jungkook knew you long enough to know hugs were the best remedy for you, even at your angriest moments. He knew you wouldn’t push him away.
“You jerk...” You buried your face into the crook of his neck, sniffling. “I don’t get you, Kookie. Why do you always do this?”
“I...I just wanted to protect you, baby. People have bad intentions, I didn’t want to see you end up doing something you’d regret,” His voice was gentle, brushing hair strands away from your face.
“Stars, Kook, I knew what I was doing. Whether I’d end up regretting it or not, that’s for me to sort out. I didn’t need you to ‘protect’ me. I was really enjoying myself, something I haven’t done in a long time. A-and you just..! You ruined it for me.”
Jungkook scoffed, “so you liked it then, how he was touching you? You were just going to let him fuck you?”
“Yes, Kook!” You yelled. “He could’ve fucked me in the public bathroom or in his car―in front everyone for all I care! He was hot and we were in the moment and you just interrupted! I know you care for me and I’ll always appreciate you worrying but there’s a fine line where your protectiveness should be. I’m not a kid anymore, Kook.”
Jungkook was gritting his teeth, and the two of you only glared at each other before he let out a sigh. Despite him wanting to be mad, he didn’t like making you upset. If you were going to cry because of him, he wanted it to be for an entirely different reason. 
He gently cupped your cheeks, holding your gaze with tender, sad eyes. “You know I’d do anything for you, yes? That I’ve always done anything and everything I could to help you?”
You furrowed your brows, unsure of how that related to anything, but nonetheless, you nod. “Yes, I know Kook.”
“Then why didn’t you just ask me to sleep with you, hm? If you needed help so bad, why didn’t you just ask me, baby?” You stared, dumbfounded and mouth ajar as his thumbs brushed the remnants of your tears away.
“W-What are you...?”
“Was so concerned for my baby. Hoseok got drunk and told me everything I needed to know. Did you know how hurt I was? How Hoseok knew something about you that I didn’t? Especially that you were a writer, love. I thought I was your number one, how could you keep that from me?”
“O-Of course you are, Koo! You’ll always be my number one. I just...didn’t want to tell you because it was embarrassing,” you mumbled, glancing away. Damn it Jung Hoseok! After all these years, this is when he accidentally slips it out? “Nuh uh, baby, I’m not having any of that. Look at me.”
Jungkook pressed his forehead against yours, an act you were certainly no stranger to, but nevertheless making your cheeks warm. “Not only that, you wanted to go clubbing tonight just to find a stranger to help you, is that right, baby? Wore this tiny dress just so someone could fuck you? Wanted Jimin to fuck you? Wanted to write about him fucking you in the bathroom stall?” Jungkook was speaking softly, though his words were anything but as his hands left your cheeks to trace sensuous lines up your thigh.
Your hands weakly held onto his shoulders, gasping when you felt his bulge press against your sensitive core.
“What was that you said....In his car? Wanted him to fuck you in front of everybody? Wanted to be a dirty slut just for your readers?” You didn’t know how exactly this moment came to be, but his honeyed voice brought you to a daze as you grind your hips against him. You were desperate to feel more—of anything, of him—only to let out a whine when he forcefully holds you down, burying your clothed center into his bulge. 
“I don’t think so, baby. I don’t think you deserve it,” Jungkook’s hot breath tickled your ear. You whimpered as he bit it, hands squeezing your hips. “You used to be so good for me baby, used to come to me for anything. Used to be a good little girl and depend on me. I would’ve helped you, baby. Instead, you became a dirty little slut, let another man touch you. Is that what you are now? A fucking slut?”
“N-no Kookie,” a new bundle of tears welled in your eyes at his harsh words. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sh-should’ve, ah, went to you,” you felt your body succumb to his touch. His nose brushed your jaw, placing warm kisses all over your neck before he glided his tongue down to your collarbone. “Please forgive me, I-I’ll be a good girl for you now, p-promise.”
“Yeah? Wanna be a good girl for daddy?” Jungkook licks the base of your collarbone before sucking it. “Yes..ah, yes daddy. Gonna be so good for you.” 
“And yet you weren’t,” you cried as you felt teeth sink into your skin. “J-Jung― ah, Kookie stop! Please i-it hurts!”
“You deserve this, fucking slut. You know how much you hurt me tonight? You���re secretly just a desperate whore, aren’t you? Missed your tiny cunt getting fucked so much that you’d let a stranger do it for you, hm? Answer me, slut.”
You felt tears drip down your eyes, embarrassment washing over your face. “What? You’re not going to speak now?” You shook your head in desperation. You couldn’t. How could you? It was too shameful.
You yelped when Jungkook picked you up by your waist and turned you over so your face was smushed into a pillow. “Ass up, now. Don’t make me repeat myself.” He snarled, and you immediately obliged. Jungkook was on his knees, eyes lidded to your position as he rubbed slow circles on your bare ass. “My slut is voiceless now, hm? Begged to be daddy’s good girl but can’t even answer when I talk to you. Why are you being so disobedient tonight, baby?” It happened so fast you could barely gasp as your body lurched forward to the slap. It repulsed through your skin as your right cheek stung with a faint red.
“J-J-Jungkook, ah!” You cried as another slap came, face burying further into your pillow. “I’ll be obedient from now on! s-so please! I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, daddy!”
Jungkook’s lips pulled to a smirk, grabbing a bundle of your hair before pulling you towards him. You whimpered and he bent down so he could see your face, tisking. “Oh, my poor baby. Did that hurt? Want to be a good little girl for daddy now?” You nodded ferociously, “p-please yes daddy! I-I’ll be so good for you. Please let me be good for you!” 
Jungkook’s dick felt constrained in his tight pants. He licked his lips to your messy, desperate state. Your eyes were red and puffy, lips just the same as heavy tears streamed down your eyes. Fuck, what Jungkook would give to fuck you senseless right then and there. But no, he needed to wait, needed to be patient. You deserved this.
“Make up your fucking mind, slut. If you want to be a good girl, then take your punishment like a good girl,” Jungkook pushed your face back into the pillow before slapping your ass once more. 
You didn’t know how long it went on, only knew the room was filled with your sobbing and the alarming sound of the contact that met your bruised skin. It hurt, it hurt so much. Your thighs were trembling and both your cheeks were a lovely shade of red and purple. But no matter how much you screamed your endless arrays of i’m sorry’s, Jungkook didn’t fail to notice how your juices soaked your underwear and spilled down your thighs
“Already making such a mess baby,” He groaned to the sight, palming himself to his creation. 
“P-please....hurts so bad...please let me l-lay down daddy, can’t hold myself much longer, please,” Jungkook adored the way you sounded for him, the way he corrupted you. You were perfect there, so perfectly powerless under him. 
“Mm, keep begging baby and maybe I’ll let you,” he unbuckled his pants and discarded them, his cock throbbing to your feeble pleads. “Please, please, p-please, please daddy... please. Hurts so bad, I-I can’t... please i-i’m a good girl. I’m a good girl for daddy. I’ll do anything please.”
“Did you learn your lesson, then?”
“Yes, I-I did, daddy!”
“You’ll be a good girl and obey daddy from now on?”
“Mhm!” You nodded vigorously, and Jungkook chuckled to your desperation. He peeled your soaked thong down, lifting your limp legs momentarily to pull it off until he set you back. You were so tired you felt your thighs give up on you right then, but before you could submit to your exhaustion, Jungkook lifted your ass up higher, arching your back deeper with one hand.
“Mm I don’t think so baby. Obey daddy and keep your ass up like a good little girl.” A gasp left your quivering lips when you felt Jungkook’s breath on your throbbing core.
“You smell so sweet baby, so fucking wet for me,” Jungkook hikes your dress up and glides his tongue up your inner thigh, wiping your dripping juices clean. “Kookie, mm, please,” he trails delicate kisses over your skin, nibbling it. “Yes, baby?” 
“P-please...please Kookie..!”
“Use your words, baby. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you want.” Jungkook smiles against your thigh as he hears your soft sniffles muffled by the pillow. His poor baby, always so shy. It was true he loved to tease you, tempt you, and loved making you cry for him—but more than anything, he wanted to take care of you. “Please touch me, Koo, please.”
“Of course, sweetheart.” A sharp shiver crawls across your skin when your pleads are obliged, moaning as Jungkook stuffs his face into your cunt. He kisses your clit softly. One, two, three times before sucking it with his plush lips. His hands were the only thing keeping you up now because you practically melted to the touch. The way his tongue rolled over your sensitive bud already having you see stars. “Ah...feels so good, Kookie.”
“Yeah? Would it feel even better if I do this?” He easily slides his middle finger into your slippery hole, slowly pumping in and out. “O-oh...oh my god, more please.”
“Anything for you baby, but first,” a whimper escapes your lips when you feel him leave you, that is until Jungkook swiftly but gently flips you over so you’re finally laying on your back.
Jungkook’s breath hitches to the sight of you below him, frozen for a moment to the aching pull of his heart.
“You’re so pretty baby, so pretty,” Jungkook’s voice was sweet and smooth as he helped you undress. Fuck, did you know how much you pained him? How much he held back for you, all these years, in this moment? It was so hard not to take you right then, to kiss you until you couldn’t breathe, to touch every single part of you with his lips.
Jungkook has fantasized about you ever since he could remember, but you truly went beyond his imagination. You were so fucking beautiful. 
“...so pretty here,” he kisses your cheeks and your jaw, down to your neck. “And here,” he kisses the valley between your breasts, his hands trailing down your curves. “And here,” your stomach...and finally, taking your clit back into his mouth.
“The prettiest cunt baby, dripping so much for daddy,” he murmurs. His tongue rolls around your clit, pumping two fingers in and out of your slick pussy. It was all too much, the sensations overwhelming your senses as ungodly moans escape your mouth. You felt fuzzy and almost light headed, reaching down to hold Jungkook’s curls.
Your back arches and tears stream down your eyes from the intense pleasure exhausting you, his fingers curling into your sweet spot mercilessly. “Do you like this baby?”
“Love it so much, Jungkook,” You moaned breathlessly, looking down at him through your tears and ... wow. 
Jungkook’s brows were creased as he focused on his tongue devouring your wet cunt, plunging his two fingers steadily in and out of you. His bangs were sticking to his forehead, glossed with sweat while your hands curled around the rest. 
You were taken aback with your emotions. Was it strange, how timid you felt then? Doing this with him was supposed to be sinful, yet for some reason, it felt anything but at that moment.
It was the fact that Jungkook looked so intent, so concentrated in making you feel good. How Jungkook showed his care for you, how he always did, how he was doing right now, cherishing you with his best effort. He wanted to give you the best experience he could, wanted nothing more than to make you feel good.
It was unbearable how much your heart swelled for him.
A knot tied in your stomach, and as if noticing your stare, his eyes flutter open to look at you.“Hm, does baby wanna cum now? You can do it love, cum for daddy.”
With that, you came undone in Jungkook’s mouth. Your cries filled the room, and Jungkook opened your hole wider with his fingers, devouring your cream. The sound of slurping made your cheeks heat with an impure red. “That’s my girl, so good for daddy. So sweet for me baby, so beautiful.”
When you went limp in his arms, he gives your lips one last sweet kiss before standing on his knees. Jungkook smiles at the sight of you, already so fucked out even when he was no where near finished with you. 
He crawled forward, his forehead resting over yours once again. “Did that feel good, sweetie?” You nod shyly, your chests heaving up and down together. With rosy cheeks, you weakly bring your hands up to trace his jaw. “Jungkook?”
“Yes baby?” You melted to his dulcet voice, keeping his loving gaze. It held so much affection, so much adoration for you, you wondered why you never realized it.
“Kiss me, please.”
Jungkook smiles warmly. Without hesitation, he takes your lush, sweet lips in his. It was gentle, a kind of kiss that was so tender it made you warm with reassurance. You were kissing Jungkook—your silly, annoying, bratty, and all the while, lovable best friend of 20 years. It was strange and odd but more than anything, it felt so, unmistakably right.
You took Jungkook by surprise when you deepened the kiss, your hand squeezing his hair. He chuckled softly, pulling himself back momentarily to look into your eyes. “I love you,” he whispers.
Your cheeks heat up, but you fight your timidness as you smile back, “I love you too, Kookie.” 
With that, Jungkook delves back into your lips. A kiss that wasn’t so delicate this time. Rather, untamed and furious, as if Jungkook wanted to show you how much, how long he’s wanted this all this time.
You moaned into him as his hands groped your breasts, fingers twirling your perky nipples. “Jungkookie,” you hold your breath, feeling his clothed cock press against your core. “Fuck me please. Please, I need you so bad.”
“Yeah?” He lowers himself to take a nipple into his mouth. “Tell me how much you want it baby.” He flicked, swirled, and sucked it with his tongue, alternating with the other.
“W-Want it so bad daddy. Please, n-need you to fuck my wet pussy mm, daddy please.”
“Since you asked so nicely,” he grins and sits up, pulling his shirt over his head, discarding his boxers and...
Oh.
Your breath hitched, blinking at Jungkook’s huge, painfully hardened cock. His tip was pink with sticky, white precum dribbling down his long member. It slightly pretruded up and its veins throbbed as if it’s been aching. And truly, he was. He’s been aching to feel your walls wrap around him for so long. You have no idea how hard he’s been trying to hold himself back for you. How painful it was to—and now, seeing you there, perfect and pretty, so shy and red just for him, Jungkook wasn’t sure he could anymore.
Jungkook needed you. He needed you getting stuffed full of his cock right now.
“I-Its so big...” You gulp as he centers himself in between your legs. “I know baby, so big and ready for your tiny cunt. Can you be a big girl and take it for me baby, hm? Let daddy fuck you until he’s satisfied? Let him use you like the little cock slut you are?”
“Y-yes daddy,” you whimper as he rubs his slick tip against your soaked, smooth cunt, sliding it back and forth. “I’m yours so please, p-please just use me daddy!”
“So good for me baby, such an obedient little slut for daddy, fuck,” Jungkook groans, slipping his tip into your lush walls. You cry as he stretches you all the way out, leaving no room for you to breathe with his tip poking your tummy. Your mind felt dizzy, mouth ajar with drool slipping out even when he hadn’t even moved yet. 
“Shiiit you should see yourself baby. Such a fucking whore for daddy’s cock. Can I move, baby? Or can this tiny little pussy not take my big cock?”
“I-I..mm, please, I can take it! Please fuck me daddy!”
“That’s my girl.” Jungkook starts off painfully slow but just as painfully hard, pushing your knees to your chest. He completely draws himself back so he can see his glistening, twitching tip before driving himself back into your core. “Shit baby, your pussy’s so, fuck, tight.” Jungkook moaned to how your breast bounced up and down every time he shoved himself in.
You were sobbing by the time he quickened his pace, the intense sensation having you light headed. Jungkook loved the way you looked under him, eyes rolled back with buried balls deep inside of you. “You like this baby? Love my cock filling you? Answer me.”
“L-love mm love so m—ah, Kookie..! f-feels so....g-good daddy.”
“Look at you, baby. Can’t even talk with daddy’s cock stuffing you. Such a dumb slut for daddy, so fucking hot baby.” Jungkook moans, juices spurting everywhere and dampening the sheets with every thrust.
“I-I’m not d-dumb..!” You whimpered, fat tears streaming down your eyes. Jungkook smirks, licking his lips.
“Aww, of course you are baby. Just a dumb little cock slut for daddy. Can only think of daddy’s cock, can you?”
You can’t bring yourself to answer, your mind too scrambled with each and every thrust. Jungkook was going so fast, so hard, you felt so full.
“That’s what I thought baby. My sweet girl, fucked dumb for daddy. You only need daddy’s cock, nothing else.” Jungkook positioned your legs over his shoulders, clenching on to them to drill deeper into your tummy.
“Oh, o-oh my god, ah d-daddy...! ‘m your slut...love your dick so m-much...love being stuffed with cock.” Jungkook groaned to your sinful moans, feeling his stomach tighten.
“Just want daddy to cum inside you, don’t you? Want daddy to fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum, baby?”
“Y-yes, please daddy! Want daddy’s cum so bad! Please give me cum..!” Jungkook shoves his thumb inside of you plush lips, and god, he’s so proud of his work, so proud of you. You were taking his thumb like a good girl, sucking it as if it were his cock.
Jungkook felt his dick throb inside of you, aching for release. He pulls his thumb out with a pop of your wet lips, coated with saliva, and rubs figures over your clit. You scream, gripping onto the sheets. it was so much, too much for you to handle. Your back arches as he abuses your clit and sloppily fucks your hole.
“J-Jung–Jungkook, ah, please! Kookie! I-I’m..!”
“Its okay, baby, its okay. Gonna cum with daddy, hm? You can do it baby, sweet girl, cum for me,” Jungkook cooes, attempting to soothe your nerves, but his words are breathless and ragged. He thrusts in and out one, two, three, four more times until he burries himself deep inside you, spurts of thick cum filling your womb.
Jungkook groans as your pussy clenches around him, and you’re a sobbing, moaning, wet mess as you milk him. “Fuck, my sweet girl. Taking my cum like a big girl baby. So good for daddy, so fucking good for me.” With his praise, you feel yourself release soon after. Jungkook continues to thrust in and out of you, helping you ride out your high.
When he feels you falter in his arms, he pulls out and lays on top of you. Both of you stay like that for awhile, exhausted and in a daze.
With your moist bodies tangled with one another’s, you shut your eyes. You can hear Jungkook’s heartbeat hammer against yours, you short-winded breaths, and the soft whirring sound of the air conditioner.
Moonlight filtered in through your windows, casting a luminescent glow on Jungkook’s skin when he pushes his upper body up, his shoulders resting on either side of you.
Jungkook had spent the whole night cherishing you, telling you how pretty you were, and yet there he was—so ethereal under midnight’s grace. How could he be real?
You bring your hand to caress his cheeks. You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.
In that moment, so intimate and sacred, His doe, gentle eyes that you could get lost in—that hold all the lost stars of the night sky, tell you all you need to know.
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You yawn, stretching your arms high up. “Here’s your order maam,” two porcelain cups of matcha are placed in front of you, steam following it’s every movement. You mumble a thank you, smiling before your eyes drift to the man at the other side of the cross walk.
He’s wearing all black as per usual, revealing the beautiful tattoos that adorned his tan skin. His hair was tousled and he looked sleepy—after all, he’d just gotten out of class—but as soon as the crosswalk lights up with green, you chuckle when he sprints across and into the shop.
The bell that hung by the door didn’t even finish ringing before he runs to you, sweeping you off your chair and into his arms. “Kookie, let me down!” You giggle, but nonetheless wrapping your arms around his neck.
“I’m so proud of you baby,” he nuzzles his nose into yours. “You finally published it right? The twenty second chapter?”
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a / n : ahhhhh its exactly 3:01am and i have class in the morning which is why the middle ending is super rushed sorry ! i truly wonder why i do this to myself.
this is my first smut fanfiction so i’m not sure how i did , but if anyone ever reads this , i hope you enjoyed ! i dont think im cut out to write smut, i truly did have headaches thinking of synonyms for thrust and dirty talk . i really admire smut writers ,, writing smut is not as easy as it seems !!
anyways , sending love abundance and happiness your ways. you deserve love, you’re worthy of love, and you are love.
stay safe and healthy starlights <3
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dreamkidddream · 4 years
Note
I’d like to request hc’s of the Brothers and Diavolo reacting to an MC that’s so cute, she could pass off as a doll. If she stands perfectly still, she could pass off as a full sized doll until she moves again. She has adorable doe eyes, wears cute clothes (Lolita fashion or just has an anime girl style), and even makes cute desserts. If the usual MC was weak and frail to them already, Doll!MC seems so dainty, precious, and fragile; these guys would ban paper if she ever got a paper cut.
Oooooo this is really interesting! I can just imagine Doll!MC just making everyone so scared every time she moves because they could probably hurt themselves just bumping into a wall because they look so fragile lol. These were short, so hope you enjoy!
Update: here’s part 2 with the other Undateables!
The Brothers and Diavolo Reacting to Doll!MC
Lucifer
...maybe he made a mistake in picking you for the exchange program after all
You just look so delicate, and just so pure. 
You have definitely made cute little snacks and brought it to him while he locked himself in the office with paperwork
He lowkey highkey likes it no matter how he brushes it off with the usual thanks. Keep doing it, MC, he really appreciates it
When you get in trouble and he gives you the usual lectures, he can’t look into your eyes for long
Geez, he already can’t stay mad at you for long but now he can just feel his resolve cracking
If you get hurt oh Diavolo prepare for helicopter parent Lucifer
As soon as you accidently cut yourself in the kitchen (it would be the tiniest cut, barely noticeable),  you’re no longer allowed in the kitchen unsupervised and can’t handle anything with a sharp end (whether its a butter knife or kid proof scissors that would be safe for Luke to use unsupervised)
“Let me do it for you, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Lucifer, thank you but I’ll be okay. It’s just a frosting spatula it’s not sharp-”
Will punish his brothers 10x worse and demons 100x more if he finds out you got hurt (doesn’t matter what the injury is, could be so much as a paper cut there will be hell to pay)
Constantly checks on you when he can’t see you in person
Handles you so lightly that you barely feel his touch
Move over Belphie, you’re the baby of the house now 
Mammon
Protective x100000
Is still tsudere around you, but doesn’t insult you as much
Who are you kidding as soon as he looks into your cute doe eyes, he forgets what he’s saying 
Complains about having to do stuff for you but doesn’t mind at all really. He loves it because it feels like you’re depending on him, and that makes him feel worth something.
“C’mon human, let the Great Mammon carry your books! You’re gonna hurt yourself and I don’t feel like hearing Lucifer’s mouth today!”
It was just your planner and a small recipe book that Luke gave you, and it weighed less than 10 pounds but okay. You don’t complain either when you see that he genuinely wants to help and do these things
Basically your loud guard dog and secret service agent rolled into one
He’s gotten into trouble more than once for “protecting you”. A student barely bumped your shoulder and Mammon already tackled him. Lucifer was not pleased (but he secretly understood)
He can’t help it that you’re weak and surrounded by hungry demons! It’s a pain to go through this much effort to just protect you, since you look so helpless
MC he’s just worried that you easily break if a demon so much as breathes on you but he likes that he can protect you because he knows that he can keep you safe. You’re just too cute and sweet okay??
Also stand in his room after watching a horror movie to freak him out and he’ll be sounding like Mariah Carey lmao
Leviathan
RURI-CHAN IS THAT YOU??!
Is for sure having an otaku/weaboo freakout moment
You blend in with figurines so well, every time you come into his room he asks you to stand next to them so he can feel that his collection is complete 
He does it sometimes when he streams so people can think he has a rare limited-edition life sized doll that they can’t get. Makes him feel superior 
DRESSING YOU UP IN COSPLAY 100%
You’re like an anime character but in real life and he does not know how to handle it 
Can’t stare into your eyes, it makes them too flustered because he’s used to seeing it in his otome games and not from an actual person that he likes
Who needs maid cafes when he has you? You even dress and make anime themed desserts (once he built up the courage to ask you to make it for him)
Has to calm his beating heart every time he talks to you, you’re too precious for him MC! 
Your like his very own idol, minus the singing and dancing. However, if you can sing and dance....
Levi.exe has stopped working 
Satan
Thought you were a real doll until you introduced yourself
He really thought that someone brought you to life Pinocchio style
You looked like a princess from the many stories that he read, and he was smitten
Treated you so graceful and elegant like until he had his rage moments, which he told you to stay far, far, far away from him until he calmed down completely
Secretly placed a hex on you to where if someone tried to attack you or touch you with harmful intentions, they would be somehow be subjected to looking at their worst fear
You were wondering why that random stranger was just staring wide at you with extensive terror, but then you saw Satan grinning, so you left it alone. You thought it was just some weird demon thing
Loved when you made him cat-themed desserts
If you wore cat ears while doing it, he will turn extremely red
If you meow for him, he won’t know how to handle himself 
Asmodeus
You are just the cutest thing he has ever laid his eyes on!!
Besides from himself of course, don’t get it twisted he’s still #1
He has most definitely had more than one photoshoot done with you both. And you guys have been trending on the Devilgram a couple of times already
Really you guys trend at least twice a month, and his fans love you!
They always ask where he got the doll from but he always laughs and says that “it’s a secret”
Imagine their shock when they see you walking and talking at RAD, some are amazed and some are downright scared
Fashion shows! 
He lives for dressing you up in cute clothes. Your style already suited you and he had great tastes so the new outfits he got you were just *chef’s kiss*
The cute little desserts that you made for him, he always posted it on the Devilgram before he ate it. They were just so cute MC and he couldn’t not show his fans!
Is the most careful brother when it comes to keeping you out of danger. He refused to let his body or skin damaged, and he wasn’t about to let it happen to you either! You are both way too dainty and fragile to let anything happen
Also spa days and self-care nights weekly!
You’re the perfect match made just for him MC
He finally has someone that can understand his struggle of being beautiful, bless you MC
Beelzebub
Soft boy is scared of touching you :(
He towers over you, and he’s scared to even be near you
It takes some time, but he starts to warm up to you
Is always gentle with you, no matter the scenario
Holding hands? He is hardly gripping your hand, said hand fitting loosely in his
Getting hugs? He’s meagerly holding you, not wanting to crush you
You once complained to Beel that it wasn’t fair to get half done hugs (if you were hugging, you were getting a real hug, not a scared one). 
He made you swear that if he was hurting you to let him know, so now you have your very own signal to use for him just in case
He was very tempted to wrap you in bubble wrap and just carry you around like that
He LOVES your sweets, even more than Luke’s and Barbatos’
No matter the size, he loves them, mainly because you made them and it was made with love, just for him
It always makes him feel so warm inside, and he doesn’t feel his appetite gnawing at him like usual
No one is dumb enough to try anything with you both in his presence and not, unless they want to end up either a: deep into the ground or b: into his stomach
You just make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he just loves everything about you. He just loves you
Belphegor
Hm, you look cute 
For a human
Acts like he doesn’t care, but you’ve caught him blushing before (he still does it too)
Won’t outright admit that you’re charming in your own little way, but he does in his sarcastic way like usual
“MC, you’re such a half-pint. You’re like my personal sized teddy bear.”
Has cuddled with you like you were his personal teddy bear (and still does, but you don’t complain at all)
Has a secret sweet tooth and eat your desserts whenever you make it just for him (and he doesn’t even share it with Beel, that monster)
Demons just have to look Belphie in the eyes, watch him flex his claws, and they all of a sudden forget about whatever they were planning. Good
He hates that you look so fragile, but at the same time he kinda likes it
You just look so soft, and you’re just so kind
It makes him feel like he’s protecting and caring for you, and that makes him feel calm and peaceful 
Please make sure that he’s okay MC, he’s scared that he’s gonna mess up again
Diavolo
The Prince of Hell is both surprised and pleased at your appearance
Do all humans look this charming or is it just you??
If someone as soft as you can survive living and going to school with demons, then this is great
Knew that you weren’t a doll, but still liked to admire you like one
Has asked more than once for pictures, you are just too enchanting!
Wants to have a portrait painted of you so he can hang it up in the castle
LOVES you baking for him! Loves when Barbatos does it too (even though it is kinda part of his job), but it feels different with you. It feels...domestic in a sense. Makes him feel like Diavolo, your friend and very interested in being your boyfriend, instead of Lord Diavolo, the prince that will be residing over Hell in the future
No one would be foolish enough to hurt you. If someone was, they wouldn’t even get the chance to lift a finger before they were directly dealing with him. Don’t take his kindness for weakness, he still is a demon after all, the future King of Hell to be exact
Was scared of touching you at first, but quickly grew out of it! He can handle his own strength, and you guys also have a signal to use just in case he does squeeze a little too tight
Will want to dress you up in royal clothes (if you were okay with it). Nothing is wrong with your current style, as a matter of fact it suits you! He basically just wants to play a fancy game of dress up/have a fashion show with royal clothing
Will take 100s of photos, no exaggeration
Asmo will be jealous, so be warned
Plus, he wants to know how his future lover/ruler would look in a crown so he can start taking measurements. You can never be too ready, right MC?
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stope07 · 3 years
Text
Pain (Void Stiles/Issac’s Sister reader)
Aurther-eratothemuse
Cash App- https://cash.app/$Luvtoldu
Pairing- Void Stiles / Reader
Warning- You find out and read it 
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You had always been good at hiding your pain. You hid it from your father, who would abuse you, and you hid it from your brother, who went through it with you.
The only difference between you and Isaac was the fact that he wasn’t left with the immense self-loathing that weighed on your shoulders after your father was killed by the kanima.
You’d hated yourself ever since you could remember. Your body curved in all the wrong places, your grades were always lacking in school, and it didn’t help any when your father solidified any insecurity you ever had about yourself. When he died, you had hated yourself for being happy he was gone.
Isaac had been the only one keeping you going. You’d been in the thick of it together, and he would take the brunt of the abuse to keep you from getting it. He was your big brother, after all.
You hated yourself for getting him into trouble.
When he became a werewolf, he had more to worry about than just you. With the threat of your father no longer there, you found yourself spending more and more time alone. It never felt right to tag along after Isaac and the rest of the pack.
You’d just get in the way.
The scars on your thighs increased the longer you were alone with yourself. Alone with your thoughts. Alone with the hatred. The more problems that arose in Beacon Hills, the worse it got.
You hit your lowest point around the time Stiles got possessed by the Nogitsune.
Looking back now, you’d say it was the unintentional turning point in your life.
That was the day you’d decided to end it. The day you were finally going to let Isaac go. Let him be happy and not have to worry about you ever again. He had Allison now. He had the pack. He had a family. He didn’t need an awkward, dysfunctional sister to ruin that for him.
You were going to make his life easier.
You’d decided to do it in the bathtub. You honestly hadn’t wanted to do it in the McCall’s house at all. You didn’t want to make a mess. You couldn’t do it in the woods, though, because then they’d waste time searching for you.
So the bathtub it was.
When you’d lowered yourself into the tub and rolled up your sleeves, razor at the ready, you heard it. A small chuckle coming from the shadows of the adjoining bedroom. You froze, peering into the darkness to meet a dark pair of familiar eyes.
“Don’t stop on my account, my dear,” he called, leaning on the wall in an almost nonchalant manner.
You flushed in shame, attempting to hide the razor behind the barrier the tub provided before answering, “Stiles? What are you doing here?”
“I could smell your misery since the moment I took control of this boy,” Stiles pushed himself off the wall and made his way to the door adjoining the two rooms. “Your pain,” he spat as he came to stand in the threshold, “Your hatred.”
“S-Stiles?” you whispered, but you knew the thing standing before you was no longer your friend.
“You’re the perfect picture of chaos,” a smirk crossed Stiles’ lips before he quickly advanced on you. Your scream died in your throat as he gripped your neck, pulling you up from the tub. You dropped the razor in place of grabbing the hand that had soon pressed you against cold tile, making it difficult to breathe.
“Those idiots couldn’t sense it. They couldn’t see how broken you are behind those half-hearted smiles you give them. How much you just want to disappear. Well,” he steps into the tub, pressing the length of Stiles’ body against yours, “I noticed.”
You shiver as he nestles his nose into your neck, inhaling deeply, “I can smell it on you.” You feel tears brimming at your eyes and let go of the hand at your neck. This wasn’t the way you’d planned on going, but if he wanted to do the job for you, you weren’t going to stop him.
“Do it,” you feel him pull back and meet his sickly eyes with your own, “If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”
The Nogitsune laughs; a full, hearty laugh that reminds you of how Stiles would laugh whenever he was genuinely happy, “Kill you? You think I’m here to kill you?”
Your brow furrows, “Aren’t you?”
“Why would I kill the perfect source of pain?” his hand loosens from around your neck, moving to cup your jaw. “Now, take all of that pain,” his lips are just a breath away, “and give it to me.”
You gasp as his mouth connects with yours, and you go lightheaded as it feels like he’s draining the life out of you. You brace yourself on his shoulders and feel him press his full body against you to keep you propped between him and the wall. His knee goes between your legs, locking you both there.
You hear a breathy groan pass between his lips, muffling against your own. His lips crash against yours in what seems like a desperate effort to get more. More of you. More of your pain. Whatever he was taking from you, you found yourself giving it freely as the kiss went on.
He wrenches himself away from you, panting as he wipes his mouth. He keeps one hand entangled in your hair as you look at him in a daze. Your heart is beating ferociously and you’re gasping for air nearly twice as hard as he is. Before you can even think a coherent sentence, he seems to have regained enough composure to grip the back of your head by your hair and roughly pull you to focus on him.
“More,” passes through his kiss-swollen lips as he attacks your neck. You feel that same lightheadedness as he latches onto your pulse, his free hand sliding up the hem of your shirt. As he takes more from you, you find it to be an almost ecstatic feeling. You’re unable to stop the moan that rips from your throat as he bites down, taking blood with the pain.
You feel your hands move on their own accord. They go to his messy hair, gripping him in an effort to just grab onto something. You felt so lost in this moment, as if the only thing keeping you sane were his lips on your body.
“More,” the word comes from your own parted lips this time. What are you asking for? For him to take more of the pain? For him to take more of you? You honestly didn’t know. All you knew was that this was the most alive you’ve felt in years, and you wanted to keep feeling this way.
If this demon was going to give that to you, you’d let him take whatever he wanted.
The Nogitsune seemed to know what you were asking for as his lips disconnected from your neck with a smack and he ripped your shirt off your body in one fluid movement. His hands traveled behind your back, your bra soon following your shirt. Every touch he made seemed to linger, and it wasn’t until he was between your knees, gripping your scarred thighs, that you noticed the black veins that appeared whenever he touched you.
You were still gripping his hair for dear life as he smirked up at you, sliding a hand up your skirt before ripping your panties down to your ankles, “Even now, you’re still in chaos. You’re torn between wanting to feel again, and knowing that you’re supposed to hate me.”
You were about to retaliate when he dragged his index finger along your sex, “After all,” his smirk never faltered as he pushed the skirt up higher, “I am the enemy.” You nearly scream as his tongue darts out over your clit, working its way over your core. You can feel the fox’s grin as he works you over relentlessly, gasps and moans involuntarily ripping from your throat. You know your grip in his hair must be almost painful at this point, but it doesn’t slow him down one bit.
You don’t know whose name to scream out when you go over the edge, panting and writhing against the wall of the bath.
The aftermath of your orgasm is pushed forward by his tongue as he greedily takes all you can give. He detangles your fingers from his brown hair; that damned smirk is the first thing that comes into your vision as he stands upright again.
He leaves you there, in a daze and shivering against the cold tile at your back as he steps out of the tub. He looks back only once as he reaches the door, a Cheshire grin playing at the lips which were only moments before at your most intimate of places.
“Don’t do anything we’ll both regret, my dear. That was the best meal I’ve had in the last five hundred years.”
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Text
Catching Stardust
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Tadashi Hamada x Reader | ☁️ + ✨ | 3.9k
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Most days, like any other university student, you would wake up tired. Unfortunately for you, that was not today. You had spent the entire night working on your lab report for one of your science courses and didn’t get a wink of sleep. At least it was handed in and done with.
(You had to double check - just in case your brain decided to get desperate and help you imagine the best case scenarios. Thinking and doing were two very different things, they were hard to tell apart when you were so dead tired though.)
It was one of those days.
“Morning, Honey Lemon,” you greeted as you navigated your way into the kitchen for some caffeine. Grabbing your travel coffee tumbler, you watched your blonde roommate in her morning stretching routine.
“Good morning, (Y/N)!” Honey cheerfully replied. “How was not sleeping last night?”
You halted your movements, looking up at her with concern. “Can you tell just by looking at me?”
Honey Lemon laughed. “No, silly. GoGo came home late last night and saw you up. I heard you shuffling around earlier this morning too. No raccoon eyes, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Thank goodness,” you said with a sigh as you continued pouring liquid energy into your tumbler. “This bio course is going to be the death of me.”
“You mean working two part time jobs will be the death of you,” GoGo corrected you as she walked out of her room. “Girl, you need time to have fun too.”
You stuck your tongue out at her. Rummaging through backpack, you noticed a missing tome of knowledge. “Has anyone seen my Medical Terms bible?”
“Coffee table.” Honey called out from the living room as she held the tree pose.
GoGo walked over to you with the heavy book in hand. You mouthed a thank you to her before taking a sip of coffee.
“(Y/N), you need to take some time to make some more friends or meet a cute boy,” Honey Lemon brought up. She exchanged a look with GoGo. “We know someone who you might like. He’s nice and funny, good looking as well.”
You gave your two roommates a sad smile. “By the time I’m ready for a relationship, a boy like that will already be snatched up by someone less stressed about their future.”
Grabbing your premade meals and a couple of snacks, you swung your backpack on.
“I work bookstore and pharmacy today, so I’ll see you both tomorrow morning. Good luck with your projects in the meantime.”
“Bye, (Y/N)!” Honey called out.
“Keep the luck, you need it more than we do,” GoGo said with salute.
Walking out of the apartment, you checked your phone for your schedule once more. Class at nine, bookstore at two and pharmacy at six. And it was already eight thirty, yay. Just your typical jam packed day, all so that you could pay off medical school tuition in the future.
Balancing everything in life was... impossible, but you were managing. 
Full course load university student, working two part time jobs, and a very minimal but still existent social life.
It wasn’t easy, but it was what you wanted. Going to med school was a necessary path to take if you wanted to help people out in your future career choice.
Just as you were arriving on campus, a voice caught your attention.
“(Y/N)…!”
You turned to see your friend Mina, another sufferer pre-med student.
“Hi Mina,” you greeted.
“Did you sleep last night?” she asked. When you shook your head, she let out a loud sigh. “Yeah, me too. Dr. Andrews is going to kill us with these lab reports and the test Thursday. I mean, I’d feel smarter if I weren’t so tired all the time.” 
You smiled. What a mood.
“Is my make up, okay?” Mina asked. “I don’t want Justin to see me at my worse - not yet.”
You glanced over Mina’s face. She had gone through the usual effort to make herself look cute. “You look fine and I’m sure Justin wouldn’t be scared off. He knows we’re med students.”
Mina made a face. “We’ve only been a dating for two months, (Y/N), two! He doesn’t know what kind of crazy we are yet. You never know when he might get skittish and ghost me.”
If you weren’t so tired, you would have laughed. 
Linking arms with Mina, you pulled her towards the classroom. 
Today was going to be just another day.
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Tadashi checked over the information on his phone as he walked off campus towards the bookstore. He had been looking up information to help his robotics project and a certain book had come up in his recommendations. Deciding that the resource was worth checking out, and was worth the price, he was determined to get his hands on the book while his robot was still in the works.
Walking through the doors, he made his way to the medical section. Browsing the shelves, he kept an eye out for the particular title.
After circling the area for a while, he let out a huff. Where was this textbook?
Noticing a girl wearing a name tag, he approached her with smile.
“Hi, I was wondering if you could help me?”
She turned to him with a smile, (E/C) eyes making contact with his brown orbs.
“Of course, are you looking for something?”
Tadashi nodded, pulling out his phone and showing her the textbook information.
"Ahhh, this one. That’s a popular book with the first year pre-med student courses,” she commented. “Everyone always asks where this one is - we organize this one by title since there’s no author.”
Leading him back into the medical section, the girl stopped in an area of the bookstore that Tadashi had missed earlier. She tapped the spine of one of the books.
“This one is good resource for in depth procedural explanations,” she explained. “Not what you were looking for though...”
Scanning the shelves, the girl paused and frowned when she stopped a particular spot. 
“Is it out of stock?” she murmured, checking again. “For a textbook no one appreciates until third year, I’d be surprised if it’s sold out...” She turned back to Tadashi with an apologetic smile. “I’ll check if we have the book in stock - give me a second.”
Pulling out her phone, she typed up some information quickly. The results of her searching seemed to yield the same results.
“It looks like we’re actually out of stock for this textbook right now, although, we are restocking it,” she explained. “Would you like to request a reserve to get a copy?”
“That would be helpful, sure,” Tadashi agreed. 
“Great, let’s go fill out a form for you,” she chirped, leading him away. “Are you a med student?”
“No, I’m a robotics engineering student at SFIT,” he replied. “I’m working on something related to the medical field though.”
“Really? That’s so cool,” she exclaimed, looking genuinely interested. “It’s amazing to think how technology can incorporated into health sciences. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you working on?”
“A healthcare robot,” Tadashi explained with a fond smile. “It’s still in the works, nothing has been finished yet, I’m still working on the programming stages.”
“I think that’s incredible. I’m sure you’re capable of amazing things.”
The sincerity in her tone brought a smile to his face. For someone who didn’t know much about his project, the kind words from her were very nice.
“What about you?” Tadashi asked. “Are you a student?”
“Yeah, over at Sato Health Institute,” she responded. Sato was the top post secondary institution for health care in San Fransokyo located nearby - it even shared some programs with SFIT as Tadashi recalled. “I’m a pre-med student - if you hadn’t already guessed.”
“I might have had a feeling,” Tadashi said with a grin. “You seemed like you were familiar with things firsthand.”
The girl laughed. “Lots of firsthand experience, trust me.”
Approaching the help desk, the girl popped around to grab a paper and pen. Scrawling down information onto the page first, she then slid the paper over to Tadashi across the counter.
“Just fill out the rest of the form and the textbook should be arriving in the next three days.” 
Tadashi looked up from filling in the form, brown eyes flicking over to her name tag. “Thank you so much, (Y/N).”
“You’re welcome,” she replied. She took a sip from her coffee tumbler. Grabbing a sticky note, she offered it over to Tadashi. “If you’d like, leave your number and I’ll text you when it arrives - I’ll be working that day. I promise to use your number for professional reasons only.”
“I’d appreciate that,” Tadashi said as he wrote his number down. As he finished his form, he noticed a large medical terms textbook behind the counter on the desk next to the computer with a ton of sticky notes sticking out. “Is that yours?”
“That’s my current bible,” she affirmed with an amused tone. “Can’t survive without it.”
The two of them shared a laugh.
“Thanks again for your help.” Tadashi repeated as he returned the form.
“Just doing my job, don’t worry about it! It was great meeting you...” Her (E/C) eyes flickered down to the form and smile appeared on her face. “...Tadashi.”
As Tadashi left the bookstore, part of him was still lingering behind, thinking about (Y/N). She seemed like a nice girl and he really hoped that they might have another chance to encounter her again.
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You fumbled with the door before pushing it open, popping back into the dark apartment. Hitting the light switch, you took off your shoes and checked for signs of your roommates.
Looks like Honey Lemon and GoGo were still out.
No surprise.
The three of you were always busy, whether the other two liked to admit it or not. 
Just as you were sorting things out in the kitchen and about to grab a snack, your phone buzzed.
Mina: OMG. Did you see Terry’s SNS profile update? 🤣🤣
(Y/N): What did he do this time? Do I want to know??
Mina: He put MD CANDIDATE. The AUDACITY of this man - I got a C+ working with partner project with him. My poor GPA... 😭
(Y/N): I mean...
Mina: DON’T
(Y/N): Cs get degrees 😂
Mina: RIP me. Seriously though, are you free to study for that bio test? 
(Y/N): let me grab my snack first, I’ll see you video chat
Mina: True MD candidate here
(Y/N): HA 
Letting out a sigh, you swiped a snack from the cupboard before heading back to your room. Fingers crossed you would get some sleep tonight.
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“Oh, finally!”
Tadashi wiped his hands off with a rag and turned to look at Fred. Wasabi and GoGo were also looking at the beanie wearing boy, but neither of them decided to engage.
“Something up?” Tadashi asked, speaking up.
“The comic bookstore said they were out of that new series I was telling you guys about the other day,” Fred explained. “I refused to go to Richardson’s place, so apparently, they reached out to the nearby bookstore and they have a copy! I got to go pick it up.”
“The one near campus?”
“Yup.”
Tadashi paused, thinking for a moment before making his decision. 
“I’ll come with you.”
“Let’s go then, man!”
Catching up with Fred about the current condition of Baymax, the two soon arrived at the bookstore. Fred immediately beelined towards the help desk with Tadashi trailing behind him.
Just as Tadashi anticipated, a familiar face was working at the desk. This time though, (Y/N) was fairly concentrated on the stack of flashcards piled on her space next to textbooks filled with sticky notes.
“Uh, excuse me,” Fred said, practically bouncing on his toes.
That was enough to jolt her out of her studying. Shoving away her flashcards, she offered Fred a smile. “Yes?”
“I believe someone called about -”
“Oh! I know what you’re here for,” (Y/N) said, jumping up. She got up and skimmed over the bookshelf behind the counter. “Ah, here it is. Fred, right?”
At the sight of his new comic, Fred nodded happily. He quickly accepted it from you. “Is there a comic book section?”
(Y/N) nodded. “Just straight that way, it’s not a big collection, but you might find something.”
“Alright, thanks!” 
Fred turned to see Tadashi lingering around. “You coming, Tadashi?”
“There’s something I want to check out, I’ll catch up in a bit,” the black haired male responded.
As Fred disappeared, the girl turned her attention over to Tadashi. 
“I didn’t think I would see you again so soon,” she commented. “The book is not in yet, sorry.”
Tadashi smiled. “That’s fine. I see you’re here often.” 
“Yeah, when I’m not busy with classes or my other job, here I am.”
The words piqued your interest. “Other job?”
“I also work at a pharmacy,” (Y/N) explained.
“Ahh. You must be a busy person,” Tadashi said. He tilted his head towards your desk. “Studying too?”
She flushed. “Yeah. Only because today’s pretty quiet - my manager doesn’t mind as long as I’m work as I’m needed. There’s a test coming up.”
“Good luck, I think you need it.”
“I do. Thank you.”
Tadashi watched as (Y/N) moved back to sitting at the desk. As she picked up her flashcards, she looked up at Tadashi.
“How’s the healthcare robot going? Any progress in the last 24 hours?”
“Baymax finally had some supply come in for assembling,” he responded. “So, just a little bit.”
“Baymax?” she repeated confused. “Oh. Is that their name?”
Tadashi nodded.
“Baymax… I like it, sounds friendly.”
“I should probably let you get back to studying,” Tadashi commented, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry for bothering you.”
“Not at all, I’m happy to chat with you.”
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- Wednesday. 6PM. -  
Honey: (Y/N)?
(Y/N): What’s up, Honey Lemon?
Honey: I heard the pre-med students plan on throwing a party this weekend? 
Honey: Are you going?
(Y/N): Nah, I think I have work.
GoGo: You always work.
(Y/N): Huh, I never noticed.
(Y/N): Anyways, parties are not my scene. I’d be happy spending a free evening at home instead.
GoGo: Mina says she’ll miss you.
(Y/N): She’ll have Justin, she’ll be okay
Honey: Well, if you ever decide to go, we know a boy you can take with you.
(Y/N): Thanks, but I’ll pass. 🥰
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- Thursday. 5PM. -
Unknown: Hi Tadashi. The textbook you wanted finally came in! Feel free to drop by anytime to come pick it up.
Tadashi: Alright, thanks (Y/N)!
Unknown: Yep, no prob!
Tadashi: Hey, is this your personal number?
Unknown: yeah 😊
(Y/N) has been added to contacts.
Tadashi: Hope you don’t mind if I contact you like in the future. 😊
(Y/N): Oh, I wouldn’t mind at all!
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“Tadashi, hi,” you greeted, waving as the boy came into your line of sight. With a baseball cap on his head today, you almost mistaken him for someone else. Pulling out the textbook, you handed it over to him. “Here you go! You weren’t the only one trying to get your hands on this textbook today.”
Tadashi peered at you curiously as he accepted the textbook. 
“You look tired,” he pointed out.
You just shrugged with a half smile. “The bio test was today - that was gruesome.”
“At least that’s done with,” he encouraged you. “Week’s almost over, too.”
“Best part is I’m off in five,” you agreed.
 You could see your words caught Tadashi’s interest. 
“Are... are you still working after?” 
Shaking your head, you leaned back against the counter. “Nope, told them I was busy today so no shifts at the pharmacy tonight.”
“Would you like to go out with me then?” Tadashi asked hopefully. “We can hit up a café and grab something to eat?”
Good thing you were leaning against the counter, because the surprise you felt would have toppled you over.
“Oh, um, sure!” you agreed, cheeks heating up a little. “I’ll meet you outside in five?”
“Sounds good.”
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- Friday. 9AM. -
Tadashi: I enjoyed my time with you yesterday. 
(Y/N): I enjoyed my time too! Although the cookies there were kind of hard... 😢
Tadashi: Yeah... I find us somewhere with nice cookies next time.
(Y/N): Just a warning, next time might be a while. My schedule is usually full.
Tadashi: That’s fine!! If you ever find yourself with free time, let me know, I’d like to spend it with you.
(Y/N): 🥰
(Y/N): You’re too sweet, Tadashi. 
(Y/N): How are you single??
Tadashi: Haha, I could ask you the same thing. Probably the same reasons as you though. I’m usually too focused with what’s in front of me.
Tadashi: Hope to see you around though.
(Y/N): me too
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- Some Tuesday. 8PM. -
“And your total is 18.95,” you said, pressing buttons on the register to confirm the amount. The customer tapped their card for the purchase before taking their bags. “I hope you feel better!”
“Thank you,” the customer responded as they left. 
You waited until they had gone completely before heading back to find your manager. Spotting one of older pharmacy students, you decided to talk to them instead.
“Hi,” you greeted.
“(Y/N), need any drugs?” Harper asked with a smile.
“I’ll take them all,” you joked. “Let Aria know I left if you see her for me?”
“Yeah, go. You’re free,” she ushered, waving you away.
As you pulled on your jacket and stepped out of the pharmacy, a figure caught you by surprise.
“Tadashi!” you exclaimed. 
“Surprised?” he asked. “Thought I’d walk you home, not safe for you to walk the street alone at night.”
“I do it frequent enough,” you countered with a smile.
“Ooh, risk taker,” Tadashi said.
You laughed. “I appreciate this though, thanks.”
Tadashi nodded. As the two of you were catching up each other on what happened throughout the day, you felt Tadashi slip his hand into yours. Fingers intertwined, you could feel your heart racing.
This was something you didn’t want to let go of.
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- Some Monday. 2PM. -
GoGo: Yo, Tadashi
GoGo: Fred wants to know when you’ll be back with the snacks.
Tadashi: Just stepped back on campus. 
GoGo: Took you a while.
GoGo: You seeing someone behind our back?
Tadashi: Ha. Does Baymax count?
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- A couple weeks later. Friday. 10AM. -
“Someone looks cute today,” Mina commented as you sat down next to her in the lecture hall. She eyed you up and down, nodding approvingly. “Not working today?”
“Yeah,” you replied. “My rare day off besides class. Thought I’d put a little more effort in today.”
“Well, you look adorable,” Mina confirmed. She let out a sigh when she saw the professor walk in. “Let’s see if we can survive these next two hours.”
“Challenge accepted,” you said, bumping her shoulder playfully. “Although, I might lose you halfway.”
Mina gasped and smacked your arm.
You laughed as you pulled your laptop. Although the two hours went by at a decent pace, you were glad the course was three quarters way through. 
At the brutal pace your professor went, there was nothing but review for the few weeks before final exams. It was nice to know you didn’t have to teach yourself an entire unit in a week before your final.
Bidding Mina goodbye, you weaved your way out of the lecture hall and out into campus. At this point, most groups of students you saw hanging around were study groups. You would have been like them too, if you hadn’t worked so hard to make things work.
Balancing two part time jobs along with classes had you putting in so much extra effort that it usually paid off in the long run.
Yay.
Navigating your way through the streets with the GPS app open on your phone, you soon spotted the campus you were looking for.
SFIT.
(Abbreviated, because thinking through what each letter stood for was too much effort.)
Slowly wandering around as you pulled up the campus directory, your eyes glimmered when you spotted the building you were looking for. Popping inside, you clutched onto your bag, peering around curiously. There was so much science happening in this space. 
Lots of creativity too, you wondered why their tradition was to prank the art school.
Poking around, you soon realized you were lost among the many rooms and labs. Your mission was a failure. Pouting, you pulled your phone.
(Y/N): Help me, I’m lost.
Tadashi: What do you mean?
(Y/N): I wandered into the lab building and was going to surprise you with a visit, but I don’t know where to find you. 🙁
(Y/N): I didn’t think this through...
Tadashi: Awwww
Tadashi: What room number do you see? I’ll find you.
(Y/N): Lab 2B
Tadashi: omw
As you awkwardly waited for Tadashi to show up, you tried not to look suspicious. Although admittedly, you were sure you looked suspicious regardless since you were lost.
“There you are,” the soft yet deep voice greeted from behind you.
Turning around to see Tadashi, you smiled. 
“Sorry for the trouble,” you apologized. 
“Not at all.” Tadashi shook his head. He took a moment to take you in. Within his eyes, you were absolutely beautiful. He didn’t want to mess up, so he kept it to himself. He’d voice his thoughts one day. “Welcome to Nerd Lab, by the way.”
So this was where Tadashi, your roommates, and their friends all spent their long hours working.
Tadashi took your hand. “Come on, I want to show you my lab.”
Following after Tadashi, the two of you entered the elevator behind arriving on the floor of his personal lab space. He opened a door, showing you his tidy space.
“Baymax won’t be in the works for a while, but here,” he pulled out several large blueprints. The image of an almost plush like character was found in the middle. “This is going to be Baymax.”
In awe of all the labelled details and planning in place, you looked up at Tadashi.
“This is incredible,” you breathed out. “You’re incredible too.”
Tadashi dipped his head down and captured your lips for a kiss. 
Before he had the opportunity to pull back too far, you went in and gave him a quick peck as well.
Although the two of you were flushed, the loving gaze you could see in Tadashi’s eyes made you feel hopeful about this relationship.
“Can I see the medical programming?” you asked, breaking the silence.
Tadashi shyly nodded. “All the computer.” 
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- Later. -
(Y/N): Do you think we should let our friends know?
Tadashi: Nah, they’ll catch on eventually.
(Y/N): But if they don’t should I just accept their blind date request?
Tadashi: WHAT?
(Y/N): 😂
(Y/N): I asked for more details one time.
(Y/N): He’s this handsome robotics engineering student, who nice and has a good sense of humor. Apparently he’s very dedicated to his work too.
Tadashi: …
Tadashi: They’ve tried to set me up with their friend as well. 
(Y/N): Hmm, maybe we were meant to be after all
Tadashi: I think so. 😀
(Y/N): 😘
1K notes · View notes
etherrreal · 3 years
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“when you pass out at practice”
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Pairing: tsukishima x reader ; kyotani x reader ; aone x reader Genre: comfort-fluff ; drabbles & headcanons Summary: the reader hasn’t been taking care of herself which leads to her passing out at practice  Word Count: 2295 Warnings: fainting, or passing out, from sleep deprivation/not eating/heat exhaustion, some explicit language because i’m an adult A/N: thanks for the fun request! i took a little bit of artistic liberties with the scenario to keep it from being so repetitive so I hope you don’t mind! -Luna
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it was rare that you had a beautiful sunny day on a weekend with no chores to attend to or work to complete
so when your boyfriend Tsukishima texted you and asked you to come join him for casual volleyball practice outside, you decided to take him up on that opportunity
however, not even a cap and some cold water could stave off heat exhaustion
Despite it being 95°F and so humid that the air feels thick when you breathe, it is a beautiful day outside. The sky is completely clear of clouds; the sun is shining directly on you as you, your boyfriend, and Yamaguchi head out to practice at the open field nearby Karasuno. The change of scenery was refreshing and even with it feeling just as hot as it usually does inside the school gym, the occasional breeze and lack of sweaty stench was a huge welcomed change. 
There’s very little shade provided by the trees, but you lay out a small blanket under the nearest one anyway. You become the bag and bottle keeper when Tsukishima and Yamaguchi hand you their items, your boyfriend dropping it haphazardly onto the blanket while Yamaguchi delicately places it down with a ‘thank you.’ 
You usually don’t get to see Tsukishima practice, seeing as his normal practices run until the dead of night, so it was fun watching them set and serve the ball back and forth. When the occasional ball lands by your feet, you get the chance to enjoy setting it back to them, even if it often falls short or misses the target completely. 
“Thank god you’re not on our team,” Tsukishima teases, as he watches the ball you set fall 6 feet away from him.
“Yeah, because I’d kick your ass. I know I’m a threat, and you should fear me,” you retort sarcastically. Before he turns away to retrieve the ball, you see him crack a small smile at your tomfoolery. 
However, after a few hours of getting up and down repeatedly to send the balls back under the beating sun, your head starts to pound. Your body is radiating so much heat it makes you want to remove your skin. You know it’s just a matter of time before you start feeling physically ill, as well. You loosen your cap and drink some cold water in hopes that it will relieve some of the tension, but you just feel the same.
You decide to lay down on the blanket, cap laid over your face to block out the sun. You don’t know if you passed out or if you simply tuned out everything around you for a bit, but you jump when you suddenly feel something wet and cold touching your neck.
You reach up to swat it away, thinking it was a bug when you hear Tsukishima’s voice. “Stop that. I’m trying to help you, dummy.” 
Relief washed over you to know that it wasn’t a beetle crawling up your neck but instead your stoic boyfriend pressing his plastic water bottle there to cool you down.
“Yamaguchi thought you died,” he brought up suddenly. “He actually ran to the store to get some more water after I told him to stop overreacting.”
You chuckle, picturing Yamaguchi already mourning over your body just because you were lying down with a cap over your face. “It’s sweet that he cares though, in his own weird way.”
Suddenly, the sky and Tsukishima’s crouching figure are in full view as he flicks the hat off of your face, feeling annoyed that you praised his friend and not him. “What do you think I’m doing, huh?” 
“Aww, do you want me to tell you how you’re the bestest, sweetest, most handsome boyfriend I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, and that I’m so grateful that you’ve graced me with your help?” you whine in a sarcastic tone, making grabby hands at the tall blond hovering over you.
He slaps your hands away, knowing that if you get your hands on him, you’d squeeze his cheeks and ruffle his hair like you always do. “Well, that’s the last time I ever take care of you.” 
You know he doesn’t mean it and that, if you were ever in some form of peril, he would casually stroll rush to your rescue to make sure you’re okay. You hope that when you look up at him he can see how much you appreciate his efforts.
“Thank you, Kei,” you say sincerely.
“Yeah, whatever.” He sounds dismissive, but you can tell by the scrunched eyebrows and soft look in his eyes as he gazes down at you how much he worries about your well-being, and you’re genuinely grateful to have him be your unofficial nurse. 
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you heard from some classmates that your math teacher was seen printing out math quizzes
*cue studious panic*
 you decided to completely skip lunch and use that time in the library to hit the books hard
your stomach was rumbling, your head was hurting, and your vision would become spotty if you stood up too quickly
you completed your quiz at the end of the day, but by then, you were starving and ready to get something to eat
in your panic, you forgot that you were supposed to meet kyotani after school so you could force him to go to practice that day (or else Iwaizumi would have your ass)
he heard your stomach make monstrous noises and when you let him know you hadn’t eaten, he looked more upset than usual to see you not taking care of yourself
“Let’s skip practice and get some food,” he suggests.
“What? So you can skip out on one of the few practices you go to? Absolutely not!” you reprimand.
“But you need to eat.”
“Look at you being a sweet boyfriend who cares,” you tease, watching him roll his eyes like he’s annoyed, but the pink hue dusting his cheeks says otherwise. “I’ll be fine. I should have an extra granola bar in my bag somewhere.” 
"Whatever, if you say so." He turns his body diagonally, a gesture you know means 'walk with me.' Kyotani has never been keen on PDA, but one thing you have noticed is that he prefers for you to walk directly by his side at all times. To others, it may look like he’s uninterested in you, but you can tell by how often his arm brushes yours that it’s his way of showing affection. 
You stroll across campus together, enjoying a quiet conversation with Kyotani about your day thus far. It doesn’t take long for you to reach the gym entrance, already hearing the balls slamming against the ground inside. You both switch out your shoes before walking in, him going to join his teammates and you finding a seat on the sidelines, seeing Iwaizumi give you a thumbs up for your job well done. 
You take a moment to search through your bag for that granola bar you mentioned earlier. After sifting through books, loose notes, and forgotten pencils and pens, you realize you have no snack to tide you over until the end of practice. 
The market is just down the road. I could probably go pick something up and be back quickly.
You wave Iwaizumi over, figuring you’ll tell him your plans while Kyotani is distracted so he won’t follow you out. You see his back turned to you as Oikawa speaks to the rest of the team, gesturing wildly with a volleyball in hand. 
As Iwaizumi gets closer, you stand up and immediately begin to sway. Your vision grows spotted, and your head feels like it’s floating. 
You hear Kyotani yell out your name before everything goes black.
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When you wake up, the lights are beaming overhead as you lay in some sort of bed. Once you’re coherent enough, you sit up, looking around to see that you’re in the school nurse’s office. You pick up your hand to hold your still aching head when you notice a very angry Kyotani attached to it, already glaring at you.
Your mouth opens and closes repeatedly, not quite knowing what to say after you just passed out in the middle of practice.
"I told you that we should've gotten something to eat," he starts, growling out each word.
You shrink into yourself, feeling embarrassed that you've upset him and couldn’t even take care of yourself properly. "I'm sorry, Kentaro.”
He notices you plucking the lint off your shirt to avoid direct eye contact with him. His eyes close as he collects himself, realizing that now’s not the time to lecture you for something you couldn’t have predicted.
He sighs, standing up slightly to lean over your slumped figure, laying a kiss on your temple. He mumbles a quiet apology against your skin, feeling bad for snapping at you when he should’ve been more kind. He’s working on that, slowly but surely.
“Let’s go get something to eat,” he says, holding your hand while you stand slowly from the bed. You wobble slightly, Kyotani quickly wrapping his arm around your waist to stabilize you. You give him a nod when you’re firmly on your two feet.
“From now on, if you’re hungry, tell me.”
You agreed reluctantly, not exactly wanting him to worry so much but knowing he wouldn’t let you leave without your compliance. 
From then on, he always makes sure to check on you to check if you've eaten or if you need one of the many granola bars he now carries, and while sometimes it's annoying to have him acting like a mother hen, it's also very heartwarming to know that he cares about you that much. Not to mention, he’s saved your ass many times when you have to study overtime for another intense math quiz. 
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the end of the semester was coming to a close and you were scrambling to get everything done on time
there weren't enough hours in the day to study for finals, finish projects, complete homework, and also take care of your human needs, like eating and sleeping
so, you just didn't sleep one night, opting to stay up with some caffeine to power through all of your work
at the beginning of the next day, you felt energetic and peppy, but as it went on, the sluggish feeling started to settle in
by the end, you were feeling absolutely exhausted and ready to drop at any moment
however, you still wanted to accompany Aone to practice that day, as it was your favorite part of your week
aone initially insisted that you head home without him, but he realized it might be safer to go with him after practice, just in case you fell asleep on the train
It feels like it takes ages, but eventually, practice begins to wind down, soreness seeping into each and every team member’s muscles after hours on their feet. A few of them are still practicing quick attacks with each other, but Aone is one more move away from passing out from exhaustion.
He walks over to you sitting on the sidelines, watching you take longer and longer between each blink. Yet, when he gets close enough, you still manage to give him a small smile that kicks his heart into overdrive, his face, no doubt, resembling a tomato because of the gesture.
He sits on the creaky folding chair beside you, taking gulps of his water to try to cool himself down. He almost chokes when he feels your head press up against his shoulder, hand resting on his forearm gently. Sitting still as a rock, he tries to take his mind off his cute partner cuddling up next to him.
"We should stop somewhere and pick up some food on the way to the train,” he suggests, doing his best to ignore the warmth filling his cheeks. “Do you want anything specific?"
You're silent beside him. At first, he thinks you're contemplating what to eat, seeing as you're very particular with your cravings. But when two minutes pass, and there's not even a peep from you, he looks down carefully to find you knocked out against his shoulder, face squished uncomfortably and mouth parting with each deep breath you take.
Aone never pictured this happening to him –mostly because he didn't think he'd ever have a partner who'd feel comfortable enough around him– so he didn't quite know where to go from here. He could wake you up to at least bring you home, but if this is the first time you've slept in over 24 hours, he didn't want to deprive you of more necessary sleep.
The only way Aone can think of bringing you home is to carry you all the way to the train station and... Well, that's as far as he manages to get, but future Aone will figure the rest out.
He asks Futakuchi to gather his things for him because he doesn't want to risk waking you. After some light teasing, he hands Aone his packed duffle and helps put on his jacket with minimal stirring from you.
Aone thanks his friend with a nod before turning to you and slipping his arms under you, one beneath your knees and the other behind your back. He freezes when you begin shifting around, but relaxes once you settle into him.
Aone waves at his team on the way out, with what movement he is allowed, and begins his trek to the train station nearby. 
His arms are aching after hours of practice, but it doesn’t matter, because you nuzzling into his neck with an adorable sigh gives him enough strength to carry you halfway across the country if he needs to. 
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Written by: Luna
817 notes · View notes
kiingocreative · 3 years
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The Structure of Story is now available! Check it out on Amazon, via the link in our bio, or at https://kiingo.co/book
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Performance coach Tony Robbins says that the quality of our lives depends on the state we live in every moment of every day. That state, whether we’re happy, sad, frustrated or excited, depends on three things:
• Our physiology — the way we move our bodies, the way we breathe and what we do with our face.
• Our language — the words we use, whether spoken out loud or inside our own head, to describe our experiences.
• What we focus on — the things we see versus the things we block out or fail to notice.
Today, I want to zone in on that final piece, because what we focus on is key, and it will in turn affect the way you move your body and hold yourself, and the language you use. I see this play out so much around me in general, and in the writing community in particular.
At any given time, the things we focus on determine how we feel and what we make of a situation. And what we focus on, in turn, is governed by the questions we ask ourselves every moment of every day.
Take your writing journey for instance:
If someone leaves you a negative review, do you ask yourself whether this means you’re a failure and your work is a failure? Do you ask yourself how dare that person belittle your work with a bad review? Or do you ask yourself what you can learn from this? Could you ask yourself how good it is that this person was honest in their feedback, so that readers with similar tastes won’t buy your book—and therefore not spend money on a read they might otherwise dislike and rate negatively too?
See how different questions would illicit different points of focus, and therefore different states? Some are more conducive to a positive mindset, whilst others tend to nurture frustration.
‘Why’ Questions: The Endless Loop.
And so it goes that by asking lousy questions, we get lousy answers. Because our brain has this tendency of taking any request we give it and processing it, regardless of whether or not it’s good for us. It’ll scour through the recesses of our mind and go on and on until it finds an answer.
‘Why’ questions are the worst, because there’s often no clear answer, or more than one possible answer to them, and it sends our mind on a chase to find as many possible reasons, processing like a headless chicken, often going around in circles, leaving us ruminating.
Take our example again: What if you asked yourself ‘why is this person leaving me a bad review?’
Now unleash your brain on that one, and let it roll with it—you may get:
• Because they didn’t like the book.
• Because my book is terrible.
• And if my book is terrible, then that makes me a terrible writer.
• Maybe I should just stop writing.
• Who was I to think I could do this?
• I’m clearly not good enough.
• Or maybe they left a bad review because they’re an idiot and didn’t get the brilliance of my work.
• Clearly they’re a moron.
• Maybe I should track them down and tell them just that.
• Maybe I should rally everyone I know on Instagram to shame that dimwit for leaving that review.
• …
… this can go on, until it loops back to the top and starts again. Sounds familiar?
What kind of state do you think you’d be in from obsessing over those disempowering, angering questions, never able to get closure because the loop has no logical end?
Empowering Alternatives.
My own experience of asking myself lousy questions, and my interactions with others within the writing community, have left me convinced that writers need to start asking themselves more empowering questions.
Because the way we tend to ask questions to ourself—those that breed anger, and resentment, and self doubt—ultimately only bring us back to two fears that sit at the root of it all: the fear that we’re not good enough, and the fear that we won’t be loved (or appreciated, or liked). These fears can be crippling. And that can’t be good for anyone’s art anywhere.
I’m writing this today to give you some more empowering alternatives. Some that I have used along my journey and have helped me improve.
Here are four examples:
#1 — gearing up for success:
• Instead of: ‘Why are other writers so much more successful than I am?’
• Ask yourself: ‘What I can learn from other writers to become more successful myself?’
There’s a lot of comparison out there. We know we shouldn’t fall into the trap of it, but it’s easier said than done.
If you see fellow writers thriving with their writing, their social media strategy or their exposure, try modelling what they do that is working and find what, from that, works for you.
Better even, reach out to people and ask them for advice—most people will be more than happy to share, and it’s a great way to build a network!
#2 — boosting sales:
• Instead of: ‘Why am I not selling books?’
• Ask yourself: ‘What I can do to increase my book sales?’
It can be discouraging to have published something, and to see your sales figures stalling. If you start wallowing in self pity through disempowering ‘why’ questions, you’re bound to start spiralling.
Instead, make a list of what you could do to help your sales along.
Here are some ideas that come to mind:
• Seek out book clubs and put your book on their radar. See if they’d been interested in reading your book and having you for an author Q&A when they’re done reading the book.
• Look into running promotions on Amazon (like discounted eBooks).
• Go local! Reach out to your local community and spread the word (cafes, local bookshops and libraries, local Facebook groups and communities etc.) and give them a chance to support a local.
• Contact your old school or university and enquire about showcasing you and your book as an alumni success story.
• Build genuine connections with fellow writers, avid readers and book bloggers. These relationships are a fantastic way to increase your reach and spreading the word about your book—and as a result, improve sales.
• Offer to do a read and review swap with a fellow author, where you read and review each other’s book.
• And so on.
If you start asking your brain to think outside the box, it’ll do just that!
#3 — the writer’s life:
• Instead of: ‘Why can’t I be a full-time writer and have financial security from writing?’
• Ask yourself: 'How is my present occupation helping my writing?’
• …And then ask: 'What can I do to increase my revenue from writing?’
This is one topic that’s been crossing my mind a lot, and I suspect many of us out there have pondered it at one point or other. If asked the wrong way, this question can send you spiralling into a frustrated state.
I don’t write full-time at present, and I have had my moments of daydreaming hours away, wishing I could live off my craft. That never led to anything very productive.
What I have found helpful however has been to focus on what my day job enables me to do with my writing:
• It takes away the pressure of earning a full income from writing.
• It gives me time to write and experiment with my craft in different forms.
• It enables me to look into ways to monetise my writing at my own pace.
• And that’s made for much more exciting trains of thought!
#4 — social media guru:
• Instead of: ‘Why can’t I manage to grow my Instagram reach?’ Or ‘why is social media sapping my energy?’
• Ask yourself: ‘What can I do to create a healthier balance when it comes to promotion efforts?’
Social media is a tricky one. It has incredible benefits if leveraged the right way, and it’s an amazing tool to get yourself and your work out there. In fact, I recently wrote a piece on the immense value of joining Bookstagram for writers.
But it can also be a drain, because the mechanisms of social media are built on the principle of addiction. It’s literally designed to suck you in and make you crave more, and fear that you’re missing out and not doing enough.
To avoid falling into that vicious circle, I’ve found it much healthier to ask myself how I can find the right balance to achieve what I want with my social media presence whilst also keeping my sanity. What this ends up being will look different for different people. If you’re unsure where to start, think about what you find challenging about maintaining your social media account, then what you find helps with your peace of mind, and try to find a middle ground somewhere in between that meets your needs.
Ask and thou shalt get.
I’m a firm believer in our ability to manifest our reality—at least to some extent. If you focus on all the wrong things, then your reality will look challenging and bleak.
If you train yourself to look for constructive ways forward and to get yourself excited about making the journey smoother for yourself, then finding that sweet spot that works for you can be a fascinating journey.
And that all starts with asking the right questions. Finding the right point of focus. Writing can be a wonderful, yet at times confusing and challenging journey. So do yourself a favour: where possible, take away those mind blocks that stand in your way!
Different questions about your writing journey illicit different points of focus, and therefore different states. Some are more conducive to a positive mindset, whilst others tend to nurture frustration.
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thechekhov · 4 years
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Hi Chekhov! Really enjoying your white diamond au! I had a quick art question: How do you start comissions? I've been improving my drawing skills and thinking about drawing for others after having fun in artfight, but I don't know where to start? How much to charge, how to get paid, etc. Do you have any tips? Hope you're doing well! :)
Alright, since a few people have asked, I’ve decided to put together a few things about how to get started on commissions - what you need, what you should make, and how to keep things organized. 
This will get a little long, so I’ll divide it into 4 main sections:
1) Draw Art - Getting started
2) Get Commissioned - Making a commission sheet, Advertising
3) ??? - Communicating, Setting Limits, Running the Business
4) Profit - Pricing Yourself and Getting Paid
* Disclaimer: I’m an artist, so this How-To will be illustration-focused. I’m sure many of these tips can apply to ANY types of commissions, but I will be focusing on the type I know best. If you are proficient in other types of commissions for other types of art - music commissions, photography, etc - feel free to chime in and leave a comment or make your own tutorial!
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1) Draw Art
I think this is probably the most obvious part, but it needs to be said:
Before you start making art for other people, you must first be comfortable making art in general.
I’m not saying your art has to be Disney-quality, or industry-level! Not at all. 
BUT! You must be comfortable creating what you sell. If you try to sell something you have little confidence in, you will stress yourself out and possibly end up losing time AND money.
Don’t shoot for the moon if you haven’t landed on it even once. Sell what you know you’re good at. Your commissions don’t HAVE to include full-body illustrations if you don’t know how to draw feet/solid stances. Limit yourself to what you can do.
Things you need to should probably have before starting commissions:
1. Access to art materials or a fully downloaded art program
DO NOT - Use a free tutorial version that will expire in a month and leave you without a way to draw! If you are having trouble finding a program, try free ones like MediBang Paint Pro. 
2. Free time to complete the amount of commissions you want to take.
DO NOT - Take on or offer commissions if you KNOW you’re going to be overwhelmed with school or personal life for the next 2+ months. Pace yourself, otherwise you’ll burn out, get stressed, and get discouraged.
3. A reliable way to communicate with your customers like a commissions-only email 
DO NOT - Use your friend/family/college email. It’s hard to keep track of things as it is, and creating new emails is easy and free. And keep it professional if you can! Not many people will reach out to dong-wiggles20434 to ask for a design. Ideally, your email should be close to your brand - however you want to brand yourself. Usernames are fine!)
DO NOT - Use Instagram/Twitter/Tumblr to collect commission info unless you are ready to do the organizing yourself. Some people make it work, but in my experience, if you use these SNS sites to communicate with friends and network... you’re going to be losing commission inquiries right and left and accidentally ignoring people. Email is much easier to organize and sort into folders.
4. A portfolio or at least 2-3 pieces of each type of art you’re planning to sell. 
DO NOT - Advertise commissions without having any examples of the art you plan to sell. People will find it difficult to trust you if you can’t even give them a vague idea of what sort of drawing they’ll be getting. 
Disclaimer: These are not hard ‘do not’s. If you have had a different experience, I respect that. I’m simplifying for the sake of streamlining this advice. 
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2) Get Commissioned
So - you have your art, you have your art program, and you’ve got all the time in the world. That means.... that’s right! It’s time to let the world know you’re taking commissions.
One of the most common ways artists signal to their audience that they can do commissions is by creating a commissions sheet. There are MANY ways to make this - and they range from simple and doodly ones to VERY complex designs. For example, here’s mine! 
There are many ways to organize a commission sheet. At its core, a commission sheet should display the types of art you WANT to be commissioned to make. Let’s go over a few ways they can be done!
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#1.... Body Portion Dividers!
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This sheet is most common with those who want to capitalize on drawing people and characters. If you want to draw lots of characters, this is a great way to offer several tiers of pricing based on how much of their character your customers want to see. 
#2... Complexity Scale
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If you’re open to drawing many things but want to base your pricing off of how complex something is, you can split your tiers into done-ness. This type of commission is popular with those that draw characters AND animals, furries, etc.
#3....  Style and Type
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If you’re more on the design side of things, or if you have various niche art styles that you can’t quite lump together, display a variety of your skills alongside each other! It helps if all the ones you have can be organized under a common customer - like those looking to advance their own business and get logos, websites, or mascots made for them!
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3) ???
You got your first commission... what happens now???
Well, ideally you have the time, tools and motivation to make things happen! Now all you have to do is... sit down and... draw.......
I’m going to say something that may be a little controversial: 
Commissions aren’t fun. 
No, no, hear me out: I have fun doing commissions! I genuinely enjoy drawing characters and coming up with designs. But even with all that said, commissions are, first and foremost: WORK
I’m not saying this to discourage you, I’m saying this to keep things realistic. When I first began commissions, I thought it would be just like any other type of drawing. I would sit down, imagine a thing, draw it... it would be fun! 
But then I realized that I couldn’t just draw what I wanted - another person had an idea in mind and had asked me to do it. I stressed over getting the design correct from descriptions. I stressed over not having the right reference for the pose the commissioner wanted. I stressed over not being able to draw the leg right in the way I had promised I would do. I stressed about billing. I stressed about digital money transfers. It was difficult, and time-consuming, and I did not enjoy it. At all. 
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And a part of that is definitely on the commissioner - we, as artists, NEED to demand proper references or descriptions. We, as artists, NEED to limit the amount of changes we’re going to make at the flick of a finger. We NEED to demand clear instructions and set boundaries. That’s also super important. 
But also - don’t be discouraged if you find yourself exhausted drawing your first commission. MANY artists go through this. Adjust your rules, fix up your limits, practice putting your foot down on finicky commissioners who expect you to read their mind! It does get easier, but you have to communicate and put in the effort and act as your own manager AND your own customer service AND your own accountant. That’s what you’re looking at. 
Good limits and boundaries to set: 
Limit the amount of changes a person can ask to make. “I want blue hair.” Next email: “No wait, yeah, make it red.” Next email: “Actually I changed my mind, can I get the blue but like, lighter?” Next email: “No, not that light.” ... At some point, we have to stop. I personally allow 2-3 changes on the final stages of a commission before I start refusing or start asking for extra money.
Demand clear instructions and/or references. If something isn’t described, you have to take artistic liberty and design it, but that’s difficult! And if the customer is not happy with it but can’t tell you more? That’s not your problem - the burden of reference is on THEM. You cannot read their mind, and that’s not your fault.
Get at least half the payment up front! This is a good balance between the ‘pay before art’ and the ‘pay after art’ conundrum that will limit the amount of woes between artist and customer. (I’ll touch upon this a little more in the Profit section.)
Organization:
Where possible, create good habits! Tag your emails and organize your folders. I have a tag on my emails for active and finished commissions. I also keep my emails on Unread until I have time to sit down and properly look at/reply to them.
My Commissions in the folder are also organized chronologically and I mark down which ones are paid and which ones are not.
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(I understand not everyone can do this, but if you want to give it a try, it does make things easier in the long run. Again, this advice is just what I have found personally helps.)
One last thing - I do not want to shame ANYONE for taking their time with commissions! Commissions are complex, and they take time and work. You can draw in 8 hours, but some things take research, materials, etc. Some illustrations realistically take up to half a year, or, depending on what’s involved, several years!!
THAT BEING SAID - it’s good manners to be upfront with your customers about how long you expect the commission to take. If you think you’re busy, just say that! Explain that you have a lot going on, and you will probably take (insert time period here).
And if your commissioners are worried, work out a system to keep them updated! I send my commissioners updates when I finish the lineart/flat colors/etc and I try to be clear about how long everything will take. I try to estimate with a +3-5 days buffer to give myself extra time... and recently I’ve been using it. Always say a bigger number than you think you’ll need. 
If someone wants a rushed commission... make them pay more. If ANYONE wants a commission done ‘by the end of the week’ - that’s an automatic rush-job for me because I’m juggling an irl job and several commissions at once. I WILL charge a rush fee and I won’t feel bad about it. 
If someone wants a commission within 24 hours...... Well, they better be paying you 3x your normal amount, or more. And remember - you CAN refuse! It’s perfectly reasonable to say ‘No, sorry, that sort of turnaround time is not realistic for me.’
Food For Thought - Invoicing
Many artists I’ve commissioned in the past have not used Invoicing, but I’ve recently begun to fill out invoices and file them in my Commissions folder just to keep track of things. It’s not necessary until you start getting into the Small Business side of Freelancing, but it’s not a bad idea to get into the habit early in case you might need to do it later for tax purposes. 
Here’s what my Invoice looks like, for example. 
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I’ve optimized it to help me remember who, what, and how much is involved! It also contains important info for my customers like where to send the money.
Which brings us to...
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4) Profit
One of the hardest things for artists is pricing themselves. I’m not going to tell you which way is BEST - there is no BEST way, only the best way for YOU. 
One of the options available to you is pricing by the hour. It includes averaging out how long it takes you to draw a specific type of art (whatever you’re offering as a commission) and multiplying that by an hourly wage you’ve decided on.
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When you do this, I stress - do NOT price yourself below minimum wage if you can help it. When you first start out, aim for the $15/hour mark and adjust accordingly. 
Other ways to price your art:
- Per complexity: Portraits vs full body should be scaled based on how difficult you find one vs. the other. You can also easily decide on a price for a sketch and double it for lineart, triple it for full color, etc.
- Per type: Look up for industry prices for website design and logo design. They may surprise you! You don’t have to charge that much, but it helps to keep things in perspective. 
It’s okay to change your prices! Keep your commission sheet image handy so you can update the amounts as you grow. :)
Payment up front or after completion?
Some artist take full payment up front. Some only demand payment after they’ve finished and sent out the piece. I personally think these are both risky for everyone involved. 
I recommend doing at least HALF of the payment BEFORE you start the commission. Calculate your full price and ask for half before you start working on it in earnest, to make sure the person can actually pay you. Then, when they receive the full piece and are satisfied, they can complete the payment. 
I personally work in this structure:
> Someone emails me with their idea/reference
> I send back a rough draft sketch that shows the idea/pose (only takes me 10-20 minutes so not a huge loss if they ghost) and quote them a price
> They can pay the full thing upfront OR pay half
> I finish the commission and send updates when I do the lineart/colors to double check anything so they have multiple chances to spot any errors
> If the person paid only half on completion, I send them a low-res version of the finished thing, they finish up their payment and THEN I send them the full-res version plus any other filetypes/CYMK proofs, etc. 
Many of the people who commission me pay me up front even though I offer they pay half - and I’m really flattered that they trust me that much! Because of that, I feel encouraged to update them frequently and ask for their input as I work, so they have the peace of mind knowing I’m actually doing their commission. 
Great, but how do I get PAID????
There are NUMEROUS ways - these days money is relatively easy to transfer over digital means, and you have a few options. 
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Paypal is perhaps one of the oldest digital wallets and is geared towards businesses. By setting up a PayPal and connecting it to your debit card of bank account, you can tunnel a pathway from your online business directly into your hands in a matter of days. 
Paypal also offers Invoicing - you make an invoice, price it and send it to the person’s email and they can pay whatever way they need! (It also allows partial payments.)
Pros: transfers from PayPal to bank account are free, and take a couple of business days. It also has no upper limit to the amount of money you can move in/out each month. It can force refunds due to the nature of its business-oriented payment system.
Cons: Because it’s used by businesses for larger transactions, PayPal may demand a more rigorous proof of your identity. It may also take longer to set up and be harder to get used to. I’ve also heard that they can be a hassle when it comes to closing your account. 
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Venmo is another type of digital wallet that acts much like paypal, except for a few key differences - it is NOT made for businesses (so depending on whether you’re officially registered as a freelancer, you may not be able to use it). I personally don’t use venmo, so I cannot speak to its usefulness, but I know a few people that use it for casual transactions. It’s easy and quick! :) 
Keep in mind that you cannot force a refund over venmo! The transactions are final.
There’s also CashApp, GooglePay (which could load gift cards but also allows peer-to-peer transactions) and I’ve heard good things about Due, though I’ve never personally used it.
Other ways to pay: I’ve had people pay me over Patreon by upping their pledge, and I’ve had people pay me over Ko-Fi by donating a specific amount. 
Many people even use Etsy - the website specialized for independent small businesses selling art - by listing their commission sheet and offering up several ‘slots’ of commissions, which allows you to track taxes AND allows your clients to pay using whatever they feel comfortable with.
If you’re in Canada, you can even pay by emailing money directly from bank account to bank account - check whether your country offers this type of service! There’s no shortage of ways to move money in the digital world.
Just like everything else, there’s no singular ‘Best’ way. It just depends on what works for you.
I think that just about wraps it up! I can’t quite think of what else to put here - but I’m sure other artists will chime in with their own advice. :) I’m very sorry this became so long but I hope it was helpful! 
Obligatory Disclaimer: I’m not qualified to give legal or accounting counsel. Please double-check the laws in your own country/state in regards to taxation of freelancing work and do your own research. If you are underage, DEFINITELY get an adult’s permission before you start doing commissions, and have the adult help you through the process.   
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OTHER POSTS YOU MAY FIND USEFUL:
An Extended Post on Pricing Yourself for Commissions
Dealing with Imposter Syndrome/Feeling ‘Not Good Enough’
Growing Your Audience
Advice for Starting Digital Art
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onebizarrekai · 4 years
Text
v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation
in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what
see, there are some things you can take as meta like “they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors
disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway
anyway let’s get started!
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if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.
with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”
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this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.
also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.
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thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)
also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic
update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)
the journey continues!
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bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with
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you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time
wait a goddamn second.
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DO YOU SEE THIS
no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller
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speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking
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running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi
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gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there
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I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy
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ah yes, white angie.
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I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand
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I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.
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return of Enlarged shuichi
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puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit
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I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.
you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.
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let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?
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no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game
(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)
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meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.
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dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him
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lovin kaito’s baby arms
real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult
oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it
also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them
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JIMMY NEUTRON???
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hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck
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hey guys do you like my pregame fanart
so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.
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that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them
anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.
the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.
regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.
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