#self acceptance theyll all be back to it in no time !!

[good-beanswrites]

Drabble for anon -- Fashion with Mikoto and Muu! It took a bit to think what sort of relationship/interactions they'd have, but I think Muu would keep things pretty straightforward if they had common ground.

If, several months ago, someone had told Mikoto he’d be sitting side by side with two murderers who’d killed children in broad daylight, he would have laughed at them. If they told him he’d be the guilty one and they’d be the innocent ones, he would have replied that they were crazy. If they told him they’d all be discussing fashion tips, he would’ve walked away from the conversation altogether. 

Yet there he sat with Muu and Haruka, as she chatted about the shoes she’d requested for the boy. The two didn’t seem to think there was anything bizarre about the situation. Mikoto, meanwhile, hadn’t been able to feel any sense of normalcy for a while now. 

“He insists on wearing those ugly pants, but I figured with the right accessories I can dress it up a bit, you know?” She fluttered her hand, flashing perfect nails. Haruka didn’t mind the comment about his pants.

“Yeah…” Mikoto was trying his best to follow the conversation. He watched the wearily, unsure why they’d come to sit with him in the first place. Most of the prisoners had been pretty forthcoming about their fear of him these days. Even now, Haruka stayed completely silent, his eyes flicking nervously to Mikoto every now and then. Not that he blamed them. He was just as frightened of himself.

Mikoto had removed himself from the sessions with the smoking group. He spent more time in his cell than in the common area. He never missed a meal, though. He had to keep his strength up, he would tell himself, though he was never sure what for. 

Well… part of him did know what it was for. That’s exactly what scared him.

“What about you?” Muu asked, cutting off his rapidly spiraling thoughts.

He looked up quickly. “What about me?”

“Are you going to try to style that uniform at all? I thought you were a designer.” She said it with a hint of disgust toward its current state: nearly torn to shreds, featuring patches absolutely filthy from prison grime. But Mikoto felt himself perk up at the words. At least someone remembered who he was. Just a simple designer from the city. A normal guy who was good at normal things, like fashion. 

“I hadn’t put much thought into it, to be honest.” He looked down at himself with a weak smile. “I don’t really know if any sort of outfit is salvageable now, anyway…”

“Of course it is!” Muu looked at him like he was crazy, but not in the way he’d grown used to recently. “You’ll need to go for a specific aesthetic, obviously. Like grunge, or something you could play off of the whole distressed look. But you can definitely do it.”

Though he knew she meant it differently, he certainly did think his appearance was rather ‘distressed’ these days. “I appreciate it, but I don’t know if I’m in the mood for all that.” He couldn’t imagine dedicating any attention to his appearance with everything going on. “I haven’t really… I haven’t felt myself lately.”

“That’s the exact reason to do it.” Muu rolled her eyes. “I thought you went to school for this.”

“Eh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The surest way to feel better about yourself is to dress your best. There’s a reason depressed people never change their clothes.” 

Mikoto’s face scrunched up. He opened his mouth, but she continued, “I mean, look at Haruka! He’s really come into himself now that he’s wearing something more flattering. I’m sure you’ll feel more yourself once you get something that suits you.”

Growing bored with the topic, Muu returned to talking about her own outfits. 

Mikoto smiled. She may have had a few things backwards, but the suggestion wasn’t a bad one.

“So I was thinking about some lavender earrings --”

“Nah,” Mikoto spoke up, “your hair is such a unique color, sticking with the gold is a good idea.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, and then it’ll coordinate with your uniform, too.”

“Oh my god, you’re right!”

“But I do like the shoes you chose, it’ll be flattering with the whole look.”

“Thank you! Now, what do you think about this skirt…”

[koushirouizumi]

{YU-GI-OH!} Duel Monsters ~ @.M.V ~ Y U U G I & {Ace-implied!}Y A M I {A t e m} [reading in {+A R O!}-Ace!Yami is also Fine] {Just please respect my own head-canons too!} ~ "Taking Over Me"

Summary: "You saw me M o u r n i n g my {xxxx} for YOU, and T O U C H E D MY H A N D..."

"...Just to F I N D Y O U--"

Music © E.v.a.n.e.s.e.n.c.e/Amy L e e

Spoiler Info: -Leads up to End of “DOMA” Arc's Y U U G I & Y A M I Duel {Anime-Only sequences; not included in original manga} -{Mainly} D.M. Only Eps -A single clip from the original 1st series opens it, but nothing else from it is included.

*Any Lip-sync'ng was unintentional {+Any similar Might be removed in any future remake}

Y U-G I-O H! © Kazuki Takahashi Y U-G I - O H! 1st Series {Show} © Toei Y u-g i-o h! Duel Monsters {Show} © Studio Gallop This is a FAN-WORK. No $$$ is being made off this work.

{@.M.V. by (Young) Me} {DO NOT RE-POST} {DO NOT COPY} {DO NOT RE-PRODUCE MY WORKS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION}

(Note: This is an OLD work {10+ yrs old}. and one of my last YGO D. M. ones of the timeframe; however, it was still very early on in my making of these type of work's when I finished this. The footage used will reflect this, as it was made before widespread transition into H.D. Footages. Please be understanding.) [There may be intent for me to remake it someday!]

Note: -This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when Tumblr and/or Vimeo is experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider watching the Direct link here!

{I am NOT taking new Requests [or making changes to this one] (+for this series) at this time. Please DO NOT Ask!}

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Yeah the Plow drama was WEIRD. Dozens of PSAs about how staff is racist, all based on a white TOH fan's unsourced viral post. The SPOP guy who announced his best friend's podcast canceled because he said the word "dykes" which is in the title. I even had mutuals saying that ND had the DUTY to step up and interrupt him. The constant videos about how ND is TRANSPHOBIC because Double Trouble is "sexualized" and "evil". Queer people are nuts.

So a couple of things here:

The Sow* stuff was real. The crew actually apologised for it and said that they didn't mean anything by it, but that nobody should excuse them for it. I appreciate this response. It was a whole thing. Also it all happened before The Owl House even started airing... (EDIT: Incorrect comment because TOH started airing seven months beforehand) but I don't want to pretend the Sow stuff was a big hubbaloo over nothing. It meant a lot to people and I think it demonstrated a lack of self awareness within the crew. There are other moments like this. The Entrapta leash gag was brought up a lot at the same time as another example of insensitivity, and I absolutely agree, but I do respect that the crew responded to the backlash the best way they could - by admitting their wrongdoing and saying theyll work on having a better perspective. I do think there are other areas they could've done better as well, like Mara turning "blonde", and all the characters having magical multicoloured hair instead of natural black hair, or even dark hair that was dyed a different colour. Some of those are handovers from dreamworks shera but it still sucks. *Sow, not Plow. We both forgot.

I don't know anything about the podcast. Never heard of it. However, if that is true, that's really unfortunate - Everyone has turned hard against "dirtier" terms like Dyke, despite how much work has gone into reclaiming them. Also, whether "queer" is a socially acceptable self-descriptor seems to vary on a year by year basis. People need to recognise other queer people are not slandering them by using these terms.

Double Trouble being an "evil nonbinary shapeshifter" right? Well, Nimona is also an evil nonbinary shapeshifter. Nimona being nonbinary is a new aspect of her presented in the movie too, not the original comics. And it's fucking awesome!!!! I think what people have been starting to realise is that evil nonbinary shapeshifters are the ultimate genderfluid power fantasy. I think it's fair and valid to want more visualisations of nonbinary people who can exist in a real world, who didn't "start off" with magical genderless abilities, but I also think there will always be a place for the nonbinary shapeshifter.

Your comments reminded me of some people's takes on Entrapta as autistic rep, and how she is seen as bad because she's the autistic savant. And yes, the autistic savant is a stereotype, but I feel that Entrapta subverts it aggressively. She's a genius but she's rather dense, she's VERY friendly unlike most "autistic savant" characters and her social problems are highly relatable. She isn't hyper competent, but autism IS a "strength" of hers, not so much because of her genius, but because it allows her to ignore or question social standards that exist to hold people back. She doesn't give a shit how important Hordak is, or what a Horde soldier or Rebellion princess is supposed to be like. She's free, and very much a power fantasy in the same way Double Trouble is. Hell even in aforementioned "leashing scenes" that I have problems with, she breaks free as soon as it starts to be annoying. I love her.

[fallout4-reacts]

how would companions react to a sole who goes to freakish extents to keep up with their pre-war skincare/hygiene?

like theyll charge straight into synth infested underground secret labs, turn the entire wasteland inside out, break into the institute, etc, just to find a 200 year old expired moisturizer from a specific brand

In terms of originality, I believe you have accomplished something unique And I was amazed at how much pleasure I experienced from writing it. I really admire the efforts you are doing to uncover good ideas; they are outstanding, and I haven't come across ideas of this kind much from reading the companion reacts of other authors I really appreciate how much you've tested me and how much fun you've given me I hope you'll enjoy reading it

PS: I admit I only realised… after… all the details were asked… that I forgot about the battle side vs synth, etc… I hope you don't mind…

Cait : At first, she finds it humorous—very little, but amusing nevertheless. And it's keeping them occupied. However, after a few weeks, it becomes monotonous. Every day, find a place where they may possibly take a shower, constantly track hints on where there might be some accessories that Sole wants to get in order to retain their "hygiene," and lastly, these never-ending complaints about everything Sole can't find.

Cait is finally fed by having to turn back on their track for eight hours so that Sole can take their sacred shower in vault 111. She takes her friend's and drops it in the first pool of mud she comes across, then walks away without looking back, while the other protests that the radiation must have completely damaged their self-tanner.

Codsworth : It's entirely natural. Madam/Sir cannot accept anything other than the highest, and he gladly lends himself to hunting down the elements necessary to get the whole set that Madam/Sir requires. A blow dryer? This one will have to be fixed by Sturges. An emollient? Codsworth learned of a privately owned factory that stored its most remarkable recipes in a trunk that had to withstand the test of time. A razor that is still brand new? Codsworth can surely find a Super Mart that still has some packaged. The butler will go to great lengths to outfit a bathroom worthy of its name for the care of his master/mistress.

Curie : She is utterly enthralled. She comments every discovery made by Sole, recalling everything she knows about product development, and they spend a lot of time grooming and caring, thanks to them. The numerous creams on which they work are added to the treasure-house where they already possess notable accessories. After all, the foundation of excellent living practices is a healthy mind in a healthy body.

Danse : "What's wrong with my smell?"

Danse tries to smell through its armor, and while the gesture is amusing, Sole is dead serious.

"A fantastic combination of pork sweat and castor oil. Furthermore, the outcome of castor oil. You neglect yourself, my dear."

"I'm in great shape and on a healthy-eating diet-

"But you have no idea what the word shower means."

"I know exactly what a shower is, and in the citadel—

"But you don't appear to be at the citadel."

"Certainly, we must take into account—

"There's nothing to think about. Look at these nails! Tsk. And your hair. When was the last time you gave this hair a conditioner?"

"A…what?"

Sole continues to row among the ruins, their irritation palpable. Danse, for one, thinks he has entered a parallel dimension. Nobody ever criticized him on his hair... or his nails.

"I'd like to know the exact nature of the technology we're attempting to trace so that I can include the details in my report."

"I went back to a terminal to the last place of delivery of eye care pads that allow real miracles for eye bags."

"For what?"

"Having poached eyes must no longer be only remarkable after such a detestable sleep cycle as yours. But I'm not going to tell you what the wasteland's sleeping circumstances are doing to my skin, and I'd like to lighten my look, which is more moribund than... Danse? Danse, where are you going?"

"I go back to the Prydwen. When you regain your senses, you could come and reach for me, and we shall embark on a true mission."

Deacon : "Yeah, baby! I just found a cucumber wrinkle treatment tube."

"Fan-tas-tic!" screamed Sole, who was completely in awe. "And look at the anti-aging cream I had got! In addition to the Dead Sea Water Moisturizer, we will soon have everything we require for total care."

"All I can do now is think about it," Deacon declares.

Dogmeat : Follow Sole everywhere they goes. Even if his master/mistress gets angry because he chews on a strange toy with picks or a tube with a particularly pleasant-smelling product, he obeys. He'll go to hell with them if it’s what they ask.

Elder Maxson : Sole had a hard time convincing Maxson to go down to the warehouses. His officer, on the other hand, said that they needed his permission to acquire access to a tool crucial to the success of their operation in the Commonwealth. Ingram raises an eyebrow as they approach the protected hangar entrance.

"No! I said no!" she exclaims.

Sole proudly proclaims, "I have Maxson!"

"Can you tell me exactly what you require of me, Knight?"

"Ingram won't let me go into the warehouse, but I know one of the Commonwealth's last functional flat irons is in the container G-86b."

"What are you talking about?"

"A flat iron, sir," Ingram quotes coldly. "A cosmetic, to put it plainly. Your Knight wishes to get access to our well-guarded warehouses in order to undergo a makeover."

Even if the chances of it being a joke are slim, the Elder cannot see it being anything other than a joke.

"Knight, please explain yourself quickly and give me a better reason than a... makeover," he sneers.

"I want this flat iron, and I'm going to smash this door with a mini gun if I have to."

This is how Sole passes his night behind bars in Cambridge.

Hancock : Before he can even finish breathing his Jet, a shrieking Sole leaps onto his neck. Hancock misses swallowing the inhaler.

"Finally! After all these weeks of investigation! He's finally here! Over there, on the other side of this door!"

Hancock examines the terminal, which displays a list of what is in the warehouse.

"A... a what?"

"A tanning station! I'm sure Sturges will be able to hook them up to a generator at Sanctuary, and FINALLY! I'll be able to bathe in precisely calibrated UV."

Hancock sighs and shakes his head. He'll need at least two mentats to understand this one. He puts on the pills and searches his coat for a second inhaler.

"A tanning station? "So, what's the point?"

"To achieve a flawless and even complexion worthy of a Hollywood star."

"Holly… I...don't grasp a word."

The mayor of Goodneighbor concludes that he needs to take two additional tablets. Especially when Sole overcomes the door's security, and the hangar opens to reveal the massive... umm... pods.

"And how are you going to transport that to Sanctuary?"

Sole’s face is completely decomposing. They stare around in panic, unable to solve the problem that their friend has just presented.

"Do you have buffout? Many, many buffout?"

Gage : "If you don't drop this bag immediately, I'll shoot."

Porter casts a peek towards Sole, pointing his weapon to show how serious he is.

"We wouldn't be here if you had helped me with everything."

The raider sarcastically giggles, then engages the security on his gun.

"Gaaaaaage! I need these creams!"

"No, what you need are capsules and rigor."

"I am absolutely certain that what the raiders most lack is self-esteem, and you cannot have self-esteem when you are not clean."

"Clean?"

The lieutenant is shaken for a minute, then sniffs his armpit.

"I took a bath on Wednesday; I'm clean enough."

"Not to mention that we're on Saturday, I'm not going to tell you about your terrible skin."

"What about my skin? It fits perfectly, unlike your ghoul friend."

"If you want it to stay that way, you should help me."

Porter reluctantly agreed to take half the loot in exchange for never hearing about it again. That's not to say Sole already planning a shipment for the following week, because he heard from a merchant that a plant is still brimming with beauty items that bomb survivors have shunned for the previous two centuries.

MacCready : Sole yelled and chewed, but the mercenary turned is back when he realized they had come all this way for hair brushes and hairspray. It's the most foolish, idiotic thing he's ever been dragged into. To put it bluntly, Sole has lost his forgiveness forever.

"... how many capsules can be produced by setting up a beauty station..."

And, by the time Sole finishes their sentence, MacCready has returned.

"I can only carry this bag and this one; otherwise, I won't be able to aim and shoot."

Nick Valentine : "... and this applicator allows a uniform application of the lotion..."

Nick sighs and rolls his eyes. He only hears with one ear while Sole stuffs these things into his hands and pockets. He feels as though he is returning to his wedding preparations, as Jenny explains why it is critical not to use white napkins on cream tablecloths. The thought draws something painful from the depths of his bowels, and against himself, he releases a little, agonizing sound that he cannot control.

"Nick? I... did I put on too much? Something caused you pain? Oh, I'm really sorry!"

"No. My sorry. I was kind of... lost in my thoughts. Keep going."

But Sole refuses to go on. They believe they have exploited their friend's incredible patience and realize that it is time to go home after seeing him submerged in accessories of all colors, giving him the appearance of a Christmas tree.

"Come. On the way, I think I saw a gas station. If you want the journey to be genuinely rewarding, spare room for a couple bottles of coolant."

Nick smiles softly as they walk out of the beauty research and development lab.

Piper : "Curve my hair?"

"Yes! And if you use this conditioner, they'll be so brilliant—

"... that I'll be noticed from afar by a super-mutant. Really, Blue, I'm not sure what you're on about with all these things and stuff."

Sole scolds. They've had this conversation hundreds of times, and despite their points of view, Piper refuses to be persuaded. It becomes irritating for them. After John revealed to them that he was acquiring his items from an old store whose storefront was collapsed but which could be accessed through the sewers, Sole managed to find the appropriate words to take her on a new quest of scavenge of hairstyle accessories. Piper is sulking and acting in bad faith now that she realizes it's not about a juicy story at all, so Sole is attempting to win her over the body care... in vain.

Preston : He makes a silly smile as he watches Sole demonstrate curling eyelashes. The General has been talking for about a half hour, giving Preston a brief explanation of everything they discovered in the hull of this half-aground boat, but Preston doesn't understand anything and has stopped listening. He simply enjoys the smile on the lips of the person he greatly admires. And Sole doesn't seem to notice. They have now switched to a laser epilator, which, once adapted to be powered by an atomic battery, can greatly simplify the Minutemen's lives. Preston shakes his head. He doesn't see how the device will help the Minutemen, but he nods his head.

Strong : Sole repeatedly knocks on the wall that Strong collapsed at the warehouse's entrance, but nothing happens. The super mutant is deaf to their pleas. Strong flew into a rage when he realized they were seeking for body milk rather than milk of human kindness, and he punched his way out of the building by smashing into the columns that supported the ceiling. As a result, Sole is trapped inside among the crates of beauty supplies, unable to escape. They hope Strong realizes his error and returns for them... they genuinely hope so.

X6-88 : The Courser rushes when Sole opens the package holding the natural pumice stones mounted on a cherry wood handle. X6 immediately switches to point-and-shoot mode and shoots until nothing but ashes and twigs remain. Sole looks at him, his face flushed with rage.

"How could you!? Do you know how long it took me to track down the purchase orders to try to find that crate?"

"What exactly was in that crate to cause such a state of excitement that I was confused and believed that you were in greater risk?"

"The most exfoliating pumice on the market two hundred years ago. Do you have any idea how likely it is that...?"

"What exactly does exfoliating imply?"

"Impurities and dead skin are extruded. It gives the skin the smoothness of a newborn."

"Are you able to elaborate on the significance of having silky smooth skin like a newborn in the execution of your responsibilities?"

"It's easier to charm directors if I have good skin?"

"Negative. Your argument doesn't seem to hold up when weighed against the amount of work you've put into pursuing this goal, which is turning out to be unsuccessful.

"It's unsuccessful because you just fried the entire container."

"It is unsuccessful because it is considerably insignificant. Permit me to inform you that if you keep squandering your valuable time on such pointless endeavors, I will come to the conclusion that you are an insignificant individual."

In the face of the agent's dreadfully indifferent demeanor, Sole prefers to say nothing and vows never to take the Courser on another beauty mission.

[cannoliparty]

the maid of hope

i LOVE writing about maids, so this was perfect! the hope aspect is also so fun to explore, as its very influential to the morale & even the fate of a session itself ^_^

the maid

here's a snippet on the maid class, taken from my guide to classpecting!

"as the active creation class, maids "prepare the others in their session through their aspect and serve/take care of their aspect” their job is to prepare other people of note for what lies ahead. they must also take care of the housekeeping of their aspect (like a real maid) making sure that it does not go to chaos in their session. this "housekeeping" is their challenge, where the maid must learn to rely on themselves and their aspect."

the maid takes the utmost care of their aspect in a session. hussie also used the play on words "maid/made of ___" to dictate that maids also closely embody or harness their aspect. maids are guaranteed to end up in great control of it, creating and therefore "cleaning up" their aspect to their will. but maids will start out in a session lacking in their aspect. this is part of their challenge to learn to rely on themselves for their aspect, therefore putting that "made"-part to use. theyll often consult others for aid in this aspect, or be at a loss of how to use it. but eventually they find a way to become greatly self-sufficient through the overcoming of outer and/or inner conflicts & doubts.

a great example is aradia, maid of time. she starts out lacking time, and is basically frozen in death, away from the flow of time itself. but with the help of outer forces and godtiering, she is able to become alive again and therefore made of time. her demeanor is patient and on the cheery side, as if she has the utmost faith in how time resolves all, and finds comfort in its forever presence. other instances where aradia is harnessing time is when she floats around through dream bubbles and centuries worth of doomed timelines, now being immortal through godtiering, she is further made of time and uses this to her utmost advantage (more than other godtiers). aradia is adamant on staying alive, but she is still aware of time's unwavering certainty. when she tells john shes sticking around to "watch this whole place break apart", she is saying "what's another death?" because to her and her long history of mortal torment, mortality and immortality are the same. as long as her death is neither heroic nor just, aradia remains. on a more physical standpoint, aradia's powers included freezing/harnessing time and being able to travel through different timelines whenever she pleases, and for however long she wants. she could also possibly have her own sort of created way she travels about time, as centuries of travelled doomed timelines was just a few years to everyone else until aradia was back.

hope

hope is a morale-based aspect. it's based on the belief in a positive fate, with a great acceptance and diligence towards achieving it. no matter how they go about it, hope players can be adamant on their beliefs.

jake english, page of hope. he always managed to look on the bright side, and was cheery as ever. his potential abilities in hope shone through his belief in his friends and their powers, but as a page, this hope lacked a lot of substance at first. pages do not start out strong in their aspect at all, and jakes constant berating of positivity often brought his friendships to disarray, for he lacked in actual foresight for his hoped outcomes. lets present this thought through an example, jake and janes friendship and one-sided romance. though jake believed in jane and how great of a friend she was, he failed to actually put that hope into their actual conversations, as in he was completely clueless on how uncomfortable jane was. in short, he was positive but it lacked structure/something to be built off of, there was nothing very positive in his relationship with jane. but often whats forgotten is the immense potentiality in pages. at their full power, they might have some of the strongest levels of raw ability in their aspect across all the classes. jake's untapped abundance of hope allowed him to accumulate a self-made dirk, through his sheer hope and belief in his friend. this hope, in a more raw form, is so strong that its a blinding and unwavering light (see aranea forcing jake to reach his full potential!)

a more moral-twisting example is eridan, prince of hope. a prince destroys/destroys through his aspect. what eridan hoped for was romance of his own, but his destructive hope-related tendencies made him helpless. his own class turned him over, and even if he didnt necessarily give in to destroying his own hope/himself, eridan basically destroyed any hope he had of a single quadrant! he also destroyed a lot of the hope in his session by killing feferi, blinding sollux, and overall just dragging the trolls' morale down. through a magic wand, eridan harnessed raw hope (again with the blinding, unwavering beams of light) to destroy his aspect.

the maid of hope

a maid of hope would start out negatively stubborn (though hope players tend to be stubborn, this wouldn't be in a good way T_T;). they might depend on others for their own morale-boosting, and could be driven to giving up easily.

but after overcoming their challenge, the maid would be practically unstoppable. imagine being MADE of hope! nothing but the utmost belief in yourself and your team, just an unwielding force of faith in what the maid believes will happen, or what they wish to happen.

and this maid can create hope, both for themselves and the people around them. itd be a super useful morale booster, and they can even just harness hope, twisting it from the enemy and further drive the maid's willed/wished fate into existence! the maid will be self-sufficient and highly confident in their beliefs, especially in the abilities of themselves and the forces around them can very easily end up in their favour. even out of godtier, theyd be useful!

conclusion

omg.... sorry for the super lengthy character explanations!!! i got carried away but overall im happy with how i explained the maid of hope. i just loove the classpect itself, it was soso fun to explore! let me know if you have any analysis requests, classpect questions, or your own insights on this classpect/classpecting in general! toodles!! ^_^

[feelo-fick]

Scarab & Prismo & Snufkin & Muddler for the character bingo!

(doesn’t have to be all of these of course. But can be)

I NEED TO KILL SCARAB. ITS A NEED. I NEED HIS BLOOD (<- will weep at any angst including him). HES EVEYTHING HES HORRIBLE HES A WRETCHED THING I HATE HIM HES THE WORST I WILL KISS HIM. AUGH. what the hell.

anyways i find him relatable.. something something vulnerability hard and shit yada yada but ALSO i make weird squawking/squeaky noises when im annoyed and i like to imagine he does that with the chirping... its funny

ALSO THE FANDOM KEEPS MAKING HIM SUFFER AND I LOVE IT AND WANT MORE BUT ALSO OW FUCK THAT HURTS WHY OW OW OW everything about his - concerning - respect (kneel for your life.) for authority (he was only following orders.) and isolation (he was never invited to those parties.) from the rest of. well everyone (he doesnt need them. he enjoys being alone. he doesnt need anyone else. he doesnt want it, he doesnt want it, he promises he doesnt.) is just SO. augh.

and the self sabotaging aspect of it. no one will love you, youve accepted that, so you stop sanding down your teeth. you bite and claw at any attempt to soothe your aches and stroke your spikes down, theyre only trying to find a soft spot near your belly.

your worst fears come true. youll never let it happen again. youll stand straight, youll make yourself seem bigger to scare off anyone who tries to come close to you. which leads to anyone who couldve helped you being dissuaded and backing off. serves them right, you never needed fixing. you never needed anyone. ...the clycle begins again. it aches. why? it shouldnt. that isnt allowed.

they should stop that, stop poking at the weak spots. it hurts to feel. you KNOW its to help. you dont want to be helped. stop it, stop. everyones going to know. they cant know it aches. theyll use it against you. keep kneeling, head lower, arch your back. maybe theyll be amused enough to give you mercy.

...cough. well anyways. im gonna stop here before this turns into a full on character analysis and MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONEEEE WOO

(youll start to notice a pattern that i express love for characters by wishing to kill them cough)

ANYWAYS MY SECOND HUSBAAND WHOM I WANT DEAD . hes. hes so. i cant.

i honestly love his aesthetic i dont know why. the tv/light/dream shit has a lot of potential methinks. i love the thought of a job swap au where prismo uses light/tech as a way to interact with the world while still being stuck somewhere else... and also the visual funkiness of him being projected onto many many tv screens brings me joy. i want that gender...

also. in general i love it when gods are depicted ss being really mortal-like... like, youre a cosmic being with power and omnipotence over the multiverses you watch over, and yet. you like sandwiches and pools and games and hanging out wih friends and its just. on every level but literal you are mortal and alive and wholly r e a l. but youre not. youre a dream, a projection, youre not even in the dimensions of the people you (love) watch. youre an outsider and its very clear. youre THIS CLOSE to being just like them. but youre not. and you never will be.

youre admired by those who are like you, but you dont really care for it. but those who you do care about either dont see you as anything more than a tool to manipulate the multiverse or see you as too grand to be able to connect with in a way that isnt "you are god and i am not". youre stuck in a prison you yourself control. but a prison is still a prison. people want what you have- how you wished they had it instead of you! maybe then, youd be loved. maybe then, things wouldnt be so ear-deafingly quiet. silence sticks out like a sore thumb in the yearning- the wish to not be alone.

OKAY AM I JUST GONNA DO THIS FOR ALL OF THEM. WHAT THE HELL. MOVING ON.

okay this time im not gonna intensely analyse his character. hopefully.

AHEM . SNUFKIN!!!! my best friend i love him so so much.......... i need to absorb his fucking vibes and gender so hard what the hell. LIKE BROTHER. HOW DO YOU PULL OFF THAT MUCH SWAGGER WITHOUT EVEN TRYING oh and also there are so many things wrong with you are you like okay bud...

i like to think that "omg hes just like me frfr" but the fact that i get so excited about that thought proves that I actually kin moomintroll nsnxjsjjsj WHICH MAKES SENSE. makes a lot of sense

i love how people interpret his personality... and i love seeing all the potential angst/drama/whatever you call it that could pop up because of how avoindant he is... and his relationships with the other characters... the way he so easily distances himself from others while (i know this isnt about him but once you talk deeply about one of them i suppose you cant leave out the other) moomintroll clings a little too hard onto him...

ill be honest im a bit rusty on anything moomin related, so forgive my poor memory + hesitation, but i do love em a lot still!!! no hyperfixation is dead, just dormant, as they say........... havent thought about them in a while but i should really brush up on everyones characters and the way they interact ... would be really helpful for some analysis and application to my own work and- YEAH WHATEVER YOU GET IT NEXT ONE

OKAY SO I HAVENT HEARD TOO MUCH ABOUT MUDDLER (aside from bloom's stuff - bless you bloom) BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT HES VERY RELATABLE AND FUNKY AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT... button collector.... so me fr............

im quite neutral on account of the fact that (again) i havent seen much of him, but i think hes really neato and also(!) i actually used him as inspo for my sona design... ITS JUST THAT, his design fucks so hard so so hard its such a good design. PEAK. absolute peak...

IDK ! i think muddler is such a nice and cool little critter... i would love to have more content of him!!! i need to know more about him!!! honestly atp someone could tag me on muddler content id be happy to have it... i think id really really love him if i just knew more(!!!) but i dont unfortunately waaah..

[system-of-a-feather]

I think I'm starting to get it a bit - where I fall into the system.

Riku can survive and flourish in the worst of situations, they're unbelievably resilient and stupendously optimistic and a source of hope, faith, and direction. They're invulnerable - even if you destroy them, functionably, the system will always step in and have a number of smaller parts we don't share on her to reinstate that invulnerable resilience and optimism. It's a priority. You can't take Riku off their feet.

XIV can dominate and breakdown the hells to operate in his name and get him what he needs and wants. He doesn't loose because loosing is fundamentally a concept he can't comprehend. If he would die before he looses and he has such an instinctually strong survival instinct. As long as he is alive, he will break down anything in the way of his vision. He is invulnerable - if he wants something there is nothing you can do to get in his way. If you do, if you manage to 'beat him' he will split and eat that shit back up as soon as he sees that he lost a match. He'll come back 10x stronger and take the win right bakc up. You can't declaw and defang XIV.

They're invulnerable parts - whether they like it or not - their nature as parts are functionally made to be invulnerable

And that is where you get a huge issue with our system. While it is pervasive in all parts, our system is structured around two parts heavily dissociated and functionably so cut off from being genuinely and wholely vulnerable. Even when they are, it is "but a stage in the journey" or only internally to one another.

I'm not smart enough, aggressive enough, or have enough piss and vinegar to do what XIV does - besides, I wouldn't need to. XIV is right there,

I'm just too much of an upset, hurt, and angry part to do what Riku does, I'm a negative nancy simple as that. I obviously can't be Riku, that's a given. (and also I don't think anyone in this system other than Riku can be Riku)

The thing that both of them don't have though that I think I could do with some reflection is that I can be vulnerable. I'm not this amazing or ridiculously specialized part. I'm split as what a very hurt, self hating, and exhausted part thought was the "monster" they were stuck being and I think its a ridiculous thing in hindsight, because I'm REALLY not a monster at all.

But my existence is founded on hurt, self loathing, fatigue, exhaustion, and weakness. I operate in a similar way to XIV as Data tried to cope with his shit by borrowing from those around him and instinctually, I want to hate everything around me that breathes. I want to hate everything that has played into the situation Data!old had gotten themselves trapped in before splitting. I want to avoid everything and isolate because everything is a disappointment to me.

I have no reason to be nice and open to the world. I come from garbage and hurt, I don't owe it to anything or anyone - but thats the thing. I think Data!old deserved a lot better. I think Data!old deserves better. I could sit comfortably by and live in the shit ending I was split off and be comfortable saying I am done, but that would be me accepting that Data got fucked over by the world.

This brain and my trauma and my symptoms tell me to not talk to anyone, don't give anyone expectations you are anything more than who you are - if you are nice, theyll expect you to be nice and theyll punish you when you are normal. I should stick to myself and everyone else is a waste of time and space and get in the way.

But that's how we got here, and if there is anything I got from splitting from Data!old, it is the ability to talk about things without getting shut down. I was given the gift to be able to do the exact opposite of what I'm 'supposed' to do. I was given the ability to CHOOSE to engage in the world against what my history has told me.

I know vulnerability, I know weakness, I know hurt, I know self hate, I know pain. All of that is the root of why I am instinctually misanthropic - people have hurt us a lot, and it has gone unacknowledged because we are run by two massive beasts of invulnerability.

No one has given that hurt a voice and I think thats where I come in. I am prone to anger and aggression, I am prone to envy and jealousy and wanting to get revenge - but I'm not XIV, I'd rather just have peace by myself and disengage than to actually express that. I don't have that drive for chaos and crisis, I already have enough. I'm not interested. I don't have that high energy / activation energy and that is actually my strength in relation to XIV. It's very easy for me to just deal with those lower valence negative emotions without it getting converted to anger / aggression or without me getting consumed by or anger / aggression.

I can look at my anger, and acknowledge it, and make a choice. Usually I leave, I remove the body from stimuli and isolate away from people, but an alternative choice I could make is to take that and give in a microphone.

There is no point is pulling XIV and Riku into learning vulnerability directly; not only is that an uphill battle but it might shatter some of their strength.

I think I am here to be vulnerable by choice - a conscious and consenting CHOICE to give people the chance to hear our hurt, our vulnerability, and to respond. Talking is a gift, an active decision, to those close to me, and should they abuse that gift and trust, then they will simply get me back to my root - ignored and cut off from us.

XIV taught the system that there is no evil part - that all parts deserve a space regardless of how they are and that we have to radically accept all parts. He taught us radical acceptance and internal vulnerability.

I guess what I have to do is teach that being vulnerable doesn't inherently have to mean being at the whim of another person - you can simultaneously hold a sense of control and hold boundaries while ALSO acknowledging that needs and wounds are present.

[valleyoflovesblog]

brutally honest way to get over a breakup

1) mourn, let out your emotions out. its okay to cry

2.) tell your friends or family. theyll support you through this.

3.) dont contact them if youre in no comtact DO NOT MESSAGE this will make getting over them so much harder

4) dont stalk their social media

5.) accept that your arent getting back together. this is crucial. if you keep thinking to yourself “ill give him time” “maybe in the future” you arent letting yourself get over them youre just distancing yourself

6.) avoid going out JUST to see them for imstance if you still have their location dont go to the same spot as them

7.) avoid gossip or drama to do with them

ex: “have u heard what # did” AVOID. say no

8.) dont wear their clothes or jewellery dont smell them either if they still smell of them

9.) dont immeditley get into a new relationship if its just to make them jealous. i am in a new relationship but i genuienly love this boy. it isnt to make my ex jealous or mad. there is no point hurting 3 ppl (ur ex, urself, the new boyfriend)

10.) try to make new friends, go new places, make new memories itll help being around fresher things

11.) go on walks, go outside, go out with friends

if you cannot go out try letting in sunlight by opening your blinds and opening a window for fresh air

did you know sunlight and fresh air can actually help with depression?

12.) delete all photos of you together

i have kept a few videos of my ex being silly or videos from when we was out but all photos and videos of cuddling or kissing or being romantic. DELETED

13.) keep your peace. if they talk shit or diss you dont give them the same reaction back. itll show them you arent bothered and you simply wont give them your time

14.) DO NOT pick up any addictions for example drugs, alc, nicotine, gambling, etc. it isnt worth it at all and will end up with you feeling worse

15.) take time. its not easy but you are strong. every day it gets easier even if it doesnt seem like it i promise every day is a new day which means more growth and memories

16.) do the things you love

17.) start doing selfcare. even though it seems hard

this doesnt mean a facemask every night or an everything shower every day

self care can be nust as simple as brushing your teeth and hair, remembering to shower, making your bed

18.) dont rot in bed. try to sit in ur living room, spend time with friends, etc

19.) take up a new hobby if possible

ex : cooking, drawing, painting, singing, writing, walking/running, yoga

20.) just know this isnt forever. i promise itll get better. you were okay before and you will be okay now❤️

[blood-injections]

speak some funsandkid thoughts to me my mind is plagued by them rn

Gladly. My mind is plagued as well.

Funsandkid is taking the three most annoying little brother type of shitheads in the world and making them an insufferable polycule. Its taking already unparalleled snark and bitchiness and the limpetlike affection of a guy that aims to squeeze you to death when he hugs you and multiplying it by three. They actively make eachother worse. They're always hanging off of eachother even at the most inoppertune times. They're dogs that cant be separated because of separation anxiety but its more because they're soulmates and theres a chunk of them missing than anxiety but like dogs they will fucking whine about everything until theyre back together and when they are. They just fucking gravitate to each other. You could try to separate them and theyd walk away across the desert to find eachother and just happen to meet in the middle like wow what a coincidence as if the Witch cant hear their bitching from the other side and pushed them back together just for a little peace and quiet.

They're so stupid also. I truly cannot express how fucking stupid they are. That post i made that said its called funsandkid because they have fun eating sand together. Yeah. None of them have any sense of self-preservation unless it comes to a firefight. Thats the only time they're serious. They're the three most impulsive fuckers in the desert. Theyll see something shiny on the ground and go ooh shiny while theres like. A fucking tornado or something. They dare eachother to do the randomest stupid things and they do. I have no idea how one of them hasn't nearly died yet. "Hey Kobra i dare you to punch that cactus." "Okay." "Hey Ghoul i dare you to kiss that rattlesnake." "Bet." "Hey guys do you think I'd die if I chewed on this exposed wire?" "Idk try it."

Sandman getting his facepaint/makeup all. Fucking. Over. Kobra and Ghoul. Because i doubt its waterproof. I figure its only really needed if theyre in the city to disrupt facial recognition but he probably does it in the desert too bc it acts the same as like wearing a mask but its the fukin desert so it doesn't last long it sweats and smears and hes like a fucking cat always headbutting and like rubbing his cheek on the others or kissing them all over their faces and shit and he just. There's makeup smears all over the three of them bc of him. They've long accepted it they don’t complain. He walks into a place like black makeup running bc of sweat and looking horrifying and dead and shit going you should see the other guys and kobra and ghoul walk in right behind him covered in black lipstick kisses and black smears that if you just glanced at them youd think they were working on a car or something and wiped the motor oil on their shirts and shit but no. Its just sandman's makeup.

And he totally makes them goth. Like i proposed my goth kobra(foaming at the mouth) agenda forever ago but literally like. Kobra and Ghoul are used to listening to whatever Dr D puts on and obsessing over Mad Gear and dressing like. In their own litte styles but nothing specific just whatever they fancy out of the communal fab four closet. Not that Sandman wouldn't obsess over mad gear and shit too but i just think the scene in the zones is more like mainly punk or just general like. Fucking zonescore idk its its own thing out there. Versus the scene in the city underground where Sandmans from, i think itd have more like visible subcultures. I'm gonna go into it in haunted and holy and in my show pony au thats still gonna be in the drafts for a while but. The city would have like distinct scenes the zones are like a melting pot with only a few crews/cliques really like. Claiming to be/looking like anything specific. But like in the Pony au you'll see them with like the hip hop kinda rebels fucking around on the streets with a boombox and in haunted and holy you'll see the general funsandkid thing of sandman dragging them to goth clubs and raves and shit and doing their makeup and getting them more into that specific genre of music. And they all cry together to the cure and fuck to depeche mode. Or something like that.

Also. Polycule of genderfucks. As if any polycules in danger days arent but. None of them have a single set of pronouns except for Kobra. Trans guy Kobra, the guygirl ever Ghoul, and genderfluid Sandman.

Oh oh oh also Sandman thing that I've been Thinking abt and doodling. Sandman with natural hair. Specifically dreads or the bleached tips like those few photos of Pete we have because he would look so fucking cool

[scrapperjoe]

Doesn't making keichos character disabled defeat the original purpose of him?

Yeah this ones a tricky one that's been on my mind. Huge spoilers for talks of abuse and ableism. Keep in mind this likely will not be the best written since its before work and stuff.

Yeah its no doubt that keichos introduction shows him to be verbally abusive towards okuyasu, and holding ableist beliefs at that, which is... Hm, not the best choice for making a disabled character, especially if you consider okuyasu autistic like i do. So why make him disabled?

The original theme of the au was to heal from trauma and abuse, a theme very much in my own life. Id also forgotten "wait cant josuke just heal him" before id put medical research into this so, yeah. Anyways... I thought, "hey, if he wasnt dead, him and okuyasu could willingly work on their relationship together!" Emphasis on willingly. Because keicho has minimal use of his legs and such, in the early days of his recovery he'd have to rely on okuyasu to help take care of him. (By the time keichos finally discharged okuyasus near graduation, don't worry.) The time apart with keicho in the hospital allowed them to rework their relationship in a less heated setting, and having to rely on okuyasu more, someone he once looked down upon, really shifted the dynamic and you can see things are working out more healthily between them while the both of them also seek counselling and had jotaro act as a middle man in the early days of the au. Even when okuyasu becomes a parent, keichos past abuse is NOT swept under the rug because okuyasu has several boundaries set in place such as keicho not being allowed to punish or yell at the kids no matter how fatherly he mat feel towards them. He is still just the uncle, and okuyasu doesn't want them to go through what he did.

And now for what this post is actually supposed to be about! As i mentioned, the aus core theme was different at the very beginning, but does try to tackle many complex themes because i can. And you guessed it, ableism is a hot topic! Ill admit it, i hadnt originally thought of it cause my autism brain thought, "wow, nijimura bros alive!" But as ive done research ive really been cracking down on how to handle this. Ive put in much medical research and what its like to live with what disabilities and conditions he has such as being an amputee, nerve connection issues, chronic pain (i actually live with chronic migraines myself), brain damage, organ transplants, etc...

Making keicho disabled and having josuke heal him was NOT to punish him for his abuse. Not in any way. If anything, it more so puts him in a state where he quite literally cannot run away from his issues and has to actually face them with CHOICE. The spwf faced the nijimuras with whether or not they wanted to stay together or split apart because of their complcated relationship, and they both chose to stay. Anyways... With keichos character who was depicted with low-key ableist veiws, hes undoubtedly going to deal with internalized ableism up the wazu. Im not going to go into way too much detail with that because if you're disabled you know what it's like. But there's a LOT of him trying to overcome it with the years. When they were finally home together for the first time in years keicho finally got to see okuyasus survivors guilt for himself and that was one big hurdle. Keichos self hatred at that time was adding to it and once he saw just how badly it was affecting okuyasu without realizing it, boy that had to freaking change. But every hurdle after that wasn't a hurdle, it was more like climbing steps of a stair.

As we all know, recovery is no straight line. A lot of times people will wish theyll be their former selves, but a lot of times that's an unreasonable desire. Keicho has a hard freaking time accepting that. He keeps pushing himself, wishing his recovery was faster, in turn actually pushing himself back. Over time keicho has to learn his limits which is a very bitter battle. You make advancements but then you go back a bit. With josuke and okuyasu doing so much for the family keicho often feels less than, and like he should be doing more. He pushes himself to do all the chores in the house even if it means puking from his migraines or wearing his stumps to the point the friction in his prosthetics start to bleed. Because we all know keichos as stubborn as a mule. The family is very adamant about getting him to rest, and i know i joke about them having to tape him down to the couch, but this feeling is a very real part of us who live with internalized ableism. Our society is so rooted in production and everything, that it can just be so hard to accept that our brains and bodies are simply incapable of doing certain things... What's more is that with keichos fluctuating condition its hard for him to keep a job. But even when he feels like crap, the family reassures him. Cause when your body won't let you do much more than bring up laundry without being in immense pain, or can hardly let you read for fun because of brain fog, it can be hard.

And because i worked it for josuke only to partially heal keicho because keicho told him specifically not to heal him, keicho obviously has disfiguring burn scars. And with his prosthetics and mobility aids, it goes without saying that he gets nasty looks and people staring at him. Those whispers around him when he goes into public. Those that lead him to often cover up even during summer time, that have the kids have to stand up for themselves and their own family at school because they get picked on because they have a VERY non traditional family. Those stares and comments can make him feel sub human, doctors constantly offering facial reconstruction surgery, and the way people can treat others is just... Appalling. Its taken keicho YEARS to feel comfortable in his own skin. From not getting that jarring feeling every time he looks in the mirror, not having to shower with a shirt on, not wanting to peel his skin off, etc... It was a bitter battle of self love. A bitter battle that sometimes he loses. But when that little hyakuko would play with his missing finger, boy did he feel less like a monster and more like the human that he is... Not to mention body positive josuke always being there to help him out. Since crazy diamond cant heal himself, josuke has lots of scars and stitches on his body from old stand battles and the sutch, and even if his scars arent disfiguring like keichos, they at least make him feel less alone, and okuyasu just being happy he's alive is always something that makes him feel better.

Overall, the au is centered around the theme of overcoming trauma and abuse much like my other works. In this case keicho is overcoming his old self and the abuse hed once done. And as time goes on, he does grow and evolve, becoming at least a somewhat better person and more understanding of others. Himself? Come on, its keicho. But no matter the hardships, when he sees how okuyasu has grown up and the happy family hes been able to have, and let alone keicho be part of it, its made all the hardships worth it. Disabled people are not a tragedy. Stop treating us like it.

[onmymasa22]

Is it normal that when a professor asks u on a test u take at 3am what ur opinion is on an artist who made grotesque works, that u think he's ok, but u wouldn't want a huge sculpture of a naked pantsed man made out of faulty bullets in ur living room cuz it just doesn't go with ur color scheme...

Go travel and photograph the world. I dont want to make people envious of my life. I want people to feel like they are loved.

I came across a video of someone making candles. And a rush of memories went through me. I was in the mountains in California the summer after highschool working at a camp. I was running an activity for candle making. And i fell in love with it. The suitcase i brought home probably had 20 long havdalah candles in it. A lifetime supply, in colors like purple, red, yellow, blue. Today i remembered telling a friend all those years ago that honestly all i wanted in life was to live in tzfat, wear those elephant pants, and make candles all day.

Its the one place where its easy to listen to myself. Like everywhere in life, im self concouse. And the things im most self conscious aboit, others love the most. Amd i cant see the beauty in it. But when i paint, i love my own mistakes. I see beauty in the me, just being me. I see what i feel others must see. Because its just me and the painting. Its a very intimate relationship. And every painting serves a different relationship. I just have a love affair with art.

I dont always listen to myself. And most of the time i prefice what i say with "i think...", instead of "i know". But my relationship with art is special. I can listen to myself. I like the mistakes because they're mine, and they are the proof that i tried.

Some conversations are beneath you. When people want to talk about things that

Tal

I think i might have a love affair woth art. I love many things, but sometimes it feels like painting loves me back. It accepts me fully, however i show up. Its a conversation- me and the canvas. it listens to everything i say abd everything i dont say. In a world that makes me constantly second guess myself or ignore me entirely, art lets me go with my intuition. Thats the feel many feel wirh the blank camvas. That theyll be wrong. And soending more time painting, ive learned to trust myself. Ive become more confident. And its the one place i can let myself just be.

Drugs effect fhe brain. So what i would say is- i dont want my kids to do drugs till 25. Wait till thr brain finishes then decide

We all need that friend who makes us soup when we're sick. That when we call and say our nose is like a fountain, she says "I'm making soup, come over", and you sit in her tiny kitchen, with mismatched everything, and talk out all your stress. The friend who, when u say ur stopping by, she puts up the kettle for coffee and has almond milk in the fridge just for you, because she knows you don't do dairy. The friend who is always willing to lend you her clothes or perfume, she just wants to know how your night goes in return. That you come, lay on the carpet in her room, and give her all the juicy details. The friend who plays happy music in the morning, but also will play rock and dance it out with u on her roof at midnight. The friend who lets you hug her for as long as you need. The friend who ends every phone call and meetup with "I love you". May we know her, may we be her.

I might not know ur name. Because i know ur soul, and thats what is important to me. I know whether u like coffee with real milk or fake. I remember what mug u chose s

Know that the mug u choose, is the mug ill remember

Im the kind of person who doesnt remember names. But ill remember ur dreams. Ill remember what ur siblings are up to and ask about them the next time u mention family. Ill remember whether u have coffee with cows milk or almond milk. Or whether u drink coffee or tea. Ill remember which mug u chose so the next time u come ill take a different one and give u that

Rain books museums tea music poetry acedimia letters art sweaters

start singing zemiros, and shalom aleichem gets stuck in ur head?

I want something about esther

Why

I want to do something witn the beacg. Where people can have headphones on and just speak. Like noone else is there with u. I want to be better with hitbonenut and hitbodedut. Just to be in any of these places and then to just go to the next. Places. Every place is just .

When u watch a clip of a movie and it looks like the sweetest romcom... so u look up what its rated and turns out its actually about cannibalism, and wikipedias explanation of the plot is too gory for u, cuz ur the kinda person who covers ur eyes in half of the disney tarzan movie... ALWAYS look up what movies are about, cuz they made a- silence of the lamb-esc movie look like- when harry met sally

cant get through disneys tarzan with the tiger without covering ur eyes

... and ur scared this is gonna be like the night u didnt sleep cuz u saw a documentary on sociopath psychology.

So entering year 4 of art school. And my parents are having the "so whats next for you" convo with me. Cuz ive been bouncing around with stuff just experiencing life. It's been a long chapter of me just going with my gut, and whatever idea hashem puts in my head. Since i got out of highschool, thats how my life has been. And its been great. Im always exactly where im supposed to be. And the "so whats next" is freaking scary. And i always know that my life has a way of working everything out. This past year, i did something ive done and yet never did before. I like old people, like a lot. But more than that, i like dealing with old people who are sick or have special needs. Its a small niche, i know, but its my niche. This past year, every sunday, i taught a cooking class in hebrew with another woman, to adults, between 20 and 90 with mental health issues. People who are on disability due to something issue with mental health or divergence- schizophrenia, bipolar, ocd, adhd depression, tourettes, mental slowness, dementia. And ive fallen inlove with it. I feel like not only has everything worked out, but hashem made everything stepping stones. My whole life has been stepping stones. And i guess its like- what do thise stepping stones look like. Every one is different.

Theres something special about people who let u just be. Where when u come over, they put the kettle up and ask if u want coffee or tea. Who let u just sit cuz u want a break from the world. Where u know that around them, its a safe space. I try to be that kind of person. And in me being that person, my dog comes into the room and i immediately turn on the airconditioning.

[viilpstick]

(in her grey dimension btw after her expulsion )

Her blade rested in her lap, covered in blood as Pandora stared at it. She has rid hell of another sinner, another evil that corrupted the lands. Her eyes narrowed as the Crimson liquid dripped onto her clothes, staining them scarlet.

"I thought you wouldn't have the guts to even come here after the stunt you pulled. "

She recognized the voice as soon as it reached her ears as she swiftly turned to face the source, lowering her gaze notably.

"after all that time and effort I spent on you, just look at yourself. So... Flawed, so imperfect."

"I apologize for having been this much of a disappointment. I clearly am not worthy of your grace. "

"That you aren't, my dear but I'm feeling generous."

He took calculated steps towards her, lifting her chin up with a firm grasp.

"You aren't beyond salvaging and I'd hate for my project to go to waste. "

A glimmer of hope..

She could be redeemed on the eyes of her creator.

".. Really? "

"Yes . All we need to do is remove impurities from you. "

Moving back, he summoned a blade throwing it infront of her.

Staring at the spear, she looked back up at him. Seeing the surety in his face, she didn't hestitate to pick the blade up, pointing it towards her self.

In one swift motion, the blade was tearing through flesh (??).

Pain shot through her body as Pandora simply bit her lip to avoid any display of rit. She couldn't show that infront of her creator.

One the spear was completely throug, she looked back at her creator, a pleased look on his face.

"Good job."

He went around her, tracing the remaining part of her wings. Hand tighteded around the bone of the past wings as he twisted them and yanked them out.

Immediately Pandora form cracked, sort of glitching in and out of reality as her Nas dug into the ground,doing her best not to scream.

"Theyll grow back. And now that you have been cleansed I want you to come to me after those wings of yours sprout back. "

"But they won't accept me back not after what I did. "

"That's not for you to worry about. I can pull a fair share of strings for everyone to let you in. "

"Right.. Thank you for this second chance. "

"Hmm, but you better not mess up again. I'd hate to have to kill my favorite toy if she becomes useless. "

"I swear I won't let it happen again. "

With a hum, he walked away and out. As Pandora finally yanded the spear out of herself. It was covered in blood, her blood. She didn't understand at first what it was suppose to do but seeing her halo turn back to her original color, she smiled. If this is what it takes to kill the pest inside her then so be it. She'd die a thousand times before she could even think to disappoint her creator. It was a gleeful feeling. Knowing she has allowed back by her creator none the less. This time, she'd make sure nothing goes wrong.

"okay now i just post aaand-"

SAVE AS A DRAFT: I LIVEEE INSIDE UU FOREVERRR

"FUCK."

ANYWAY.

this is absolute; FIRE.

I LEGIT LOVE IT. SO BADLY- IS SO WELL WRITTEN BTW- HER CHARACTER STORY IS REALLY GOOD.

[askrobouteguilliman40k]

For as repressive and horrific as it is, it seems to me that the imperium might actually be relatively "accepting" (or i guess permissive) of gay stuff but at the macro level probably not for positive reasons. More like "ah if there are gay couples around we dont have to worry about working parents to death because there will be couples able to adopt children who cant have their own so itll help the population self perpetuate by improving child mortality and we wont waste money and manpower repressing people in that way, which means theres more money and manpower to repress their other rights" or "if the soldiers are in relationships with each other theyll be drivern for vengance when one dies" kind of way. Because for as grim and awful as the imperium is, it has a TON of people and can afford to spend their lives frivolously which consequently means there is a TON sex happening all the time all over the place because if there wasnt the imperium would almost instantly bleed out. And they say slanesh is the god of sex lol. The god emporer wants, nay, REQUIRES of you that you fuck nasty all the time, so get on it citizen, back to your work!

....

What did I do to get this?

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. I feel like we should note from mythology DEMETER was actually a law goddess, Persephone never was. If anyone would be a perfect lawyer for Persephone it would be her (and no you cant use the "thats not how court works!!" since none of this follows actual court systems anyway) but no only Hades can defend Persephone but also now Persephone should be a lawyer too even though she does nothing but threaten/harm witnesses and cover up her crimes. Wasnt she studying biology?What happened to that?

2. whats weird to me is so many LO fans seem convinced if they were in that universe theyd be a goddess and get to enjoy all the wealth and parties HxP and co does when it's like no? They would at best be a poor denizen of the Underworld or Olympus and at worst a normal human like they already are who becomes Hades' slave upon death. It has the same energy of millennials who still think their Hogwarts letter is lost in the mail instead of accepting they're not the main character.

3. Even ignoring RS' hypocritical writing of "bad for thee, good for me", what exactly is happening with Persephone's body in that picture? Where is her lower half when that dress is so ridiculously short? does she have no middle section? Also kinda funny it seems RS is very aware none of the past two+ years of LO is memorable enough to draw anything from so even she's still clinging to the first three episodes. Like seriously? Persephone only owns that paper napkin dress and jacket and that's it?

4. IF RS really is that upset over lost income (which I doubt considering all her merch and book deals) then maybe she could use her huge pull at WT and with the other creators to actually team up and unionize, but that would actually force her to pay her staff correctly so I don't think she'd do it. Would love to be proved wrong on that though.

5. cheating is also condemned in LO but praised when Hades, Hera, and Persephone do it. capitalism is critiqued unless Hades benefits from it. Abuse of power is condemned in Zeus but praised in Hades, Persephone, and Hera, and the list goes on. Rachel does not nor ever will give a shit about a consistent morality in her story. Why do you think her actual defense in P's trail was condemning Artemis and Apollo for a lesser approved AOW but P's mass slaughter is just a little mistake?

6. if rachel was just honest she was making a materialistic fantasy with at best a very loose connections to a certain greek myth it would be more excusable, but instead she claims shes so researched on the myths over actual greeks and is actually telling a progressive feminist work which is what shes called out on. if she was honest from the start we would have accepted it, but instead she just lies to pretend her work is something it isn't. It's a self imposed target on her back for critcism.

7. do you not get it? thats classic privileged hypocrisy where theyll condemn those economically below they as "greedy/materialistic/etc etc" but its praised in them because they "deserve it". you guys have to remember rachel was an already well off, privileged white woman when she started LO and has only gotten more privileged from it. if you really think her worldview hasnt gotten more warped with an even bigger distain for those she doesnt relate to then youre not paying attention.

8. Yeah I’m just done with RS’s BS excuses and interviews at this point. She can claim all she wants she’s trying to tell a feminist, progressive story and is calling out misogyny and capitalism but she’s not, she’s praising them if they benefit her self inserts while the rest can suffer. It’s a story not about how systemic divisions and corruption from power are an issue from ancient times to now or avoid how struggles for women are timeless, it’s about how the rich and powerful are the real underdogs while the uppity poor should be thankful they give them eternal unpaid labor jobs (slavery) and they only sometimes forget to not torture them for any tiny slight they may have that day, among many other horrible issues that’s even worse than modern day. And no, I’m not saying RS can’t write a story about a bunch of rich assholes, that’s fine, but it’s the fact she keeps lying and insisting she’s actually not writing that and is insist writing some deep work that’s actually about empowerment and progressive is what’s the problem. She’s claiming it’s something it’s not and is anything is making a story that’s exactly everything she claims it’s not. Why should I support a series where the creator keeps lying to your face about her intentions and tries to gaslight you that your feelings and discomfort with her contradictory writing and bad politics are actually not a problem of her false marketing and regressive view of the world, but YOUR problem for not fawning over everything she makes? Ugh. 

9. i went to Hot Topic the other day and saw so much Lore Olympus merch :) a lot of it was also just of Hades. imagine wearing a shirt with the slave owner old creepy man that is LO Hades

10. Thanks Rachel for randomly adding Hera into your fanfic drama. The damn goddess of marriage can now cheat, in which the actual reasoning to why she doesn’t is purposely overlooked. I’m beginning to think Hera’s involved to spice up Hades and Persephone’s relationship, compare her and Persephone’s beauty, or be a major wall for Persephone’s ongoing “development” with Hades. None of them sound good, because Hera’s purpose solely relies on a relationship and two characters.

Hera is sadly washed down and deliberately compared because of Persephone. When Leto mentioned that Hera and Hades used to have an ongoing affair, I’m so glad Persephone broke down because it shows how she understands the difference in power Hera has compared to her 😆 /j But, I wish we got to see her power and beauty dramatically compared to Persephone, because there’s a huge difference. Hera’s considered to be one of the most attractive goddess’- she was even said to be prettier than Aphrodite herself. She, as the queen of the gods, has complete control over the deities and universe. And, she was the only deity as revered as Zeus.

I don’t think Persephone can fully compete with that, considering Hera’s beauty, power, and status.

“How can I compete with the queen of the gods?”, truth is: you can’t 😁(Sorry if there are any mistakes)

[tchaikovskaya]

ok i feel like im the polar opposite of this meme

since early in my freshman year of college ive been lowkey embarrassed to turn in work to my professors bc im convinced it sucks and theyll hate it and/or think im dumb and 90% of the time i would get really complimentary feedback and they’d either tell me or i’d find out from other people disclosing their own grades that i got one of the highest grades in the class. 

but even after all that i still feel the same today and i dread getting corrections and comments back because i irrationally take everything entirely too personally because i tied my self worth to my academic performance, more specifically only thinking of myself as good or acceptable if im *impressing* people with my academic performance, not simply “doing well,” and its stressful sometimes to the point of making me turn work in late or just flat out not turning it in at all (yes i know that makes no sense at all) bc im so concerned about it being judged harshly or me “””embarrassing myself””” by turning in garbage and having a professor i respect critique it hahahahahahahhahahaha things are going so well for meeeee

[macgyvertape]

Castlevania kinda had a pacing problem

spoilers for all of Netflix’s Castlevania. I haven’t seen much analysis for the show on tumblr, im honestly curious if discussions I had with irl friends mirror what fandom talks about

tldr: Castlevania seems inconsistently paced from season to season, and within season as well, leads to a lot of characters motivations feeling unclear so characters repeatedly explain why they are doing something while they’re doing it

overview of the seasons:

S1 I know somewhat of a test for Netflix but it has good main trio character establishment and sets the scale of the conflict

s2: pretty complete emotional arc for most characters and resolves the plot of killing Dracula while setting up additional characters to continue the story. Isaac, Hector, Carmilla all established with the audience as characters whose story would continue

honestly I would bet this is the most popular season

S3: s2 did a bit of worldbuilding, but this season really fleshed out the world with both a wide range of locations and exploring the question of “what now, Dracula is dead but vampires and night creatures remain”.

There were basically 4 plot threads: 1) Sypha/Trevor investigating the cult & Saint Germain; 2) Hector & Carmilla (also introducing Lenore, Striga, Morana); 3) Isaac’s journey of revenge & self discovery; 4) Alucard sits around the castle and is betrayed.

overall characters roughly feel like they are in the same place if not worse. A big criticism I saw at the time, which hold up after rewatching this before s4 is nothing felt resolved for the main characters

I would say this season is where the pacing issues start to become apparent, juggling 4 plot threads that lack a central theme or even mutual character connection. If there was a central theme it would be “humans are awful to each other”. The Judge doing Hot Fuzz style murders, The Wizard in the tower, Sumi & Taka

S4: it starts with the same 4 plot threads, though upfront it is made clear that the plot theme is “people are trying to resurrect Dracula”, and the progression of the plot works to resolve unrelated plot threads until the main trio reunites for the boss fights. To me and my friends watching it was obvious that the show would reunite the main trio, the question was how and how far into the run time.

Season 4 is why I’m writing this essay, for the past 2 days I’ve been like, yeah that character sure explained their motives repeatedly maybe with some philosophical discussion, but it’s just such a weird place considering where they were in s3

Alucard’s arc:

Where he was left in season 3, it was after killing people he had trusted in self defense and impaling their corpses. It was clearly meant to parallel Dracula’s dislike of humanity. However overall his character lacked a proactive motivating force.

Honestly the most interesting thing I found in s3 was Alucard clearly misses Sypha and Trevor, however they don’t miss him or refer to him

One reason Sumi & Taka betray Alucard is for the secrets and power of Castlevania. After inviting the village including St Germain who Alucard was warned of into the Castle, Alucard makes 0 effort to secure anything, not even his personal childhood room. Guess he really learned nothing

Discussing St Germain, I think it’s funny that they had a several minute flashback sequence for his lost girlfriend (who doesn’t have a name or a voice actor), to remind the viewer of who he is, and to justify how he’s suddenly back and down for murder.

In s4 there is the call to help the village, and the walk back to the castle is a montage of Alucard opening up to Greta and becoming friendly literally overnight. He laughs off the impaling, and basically all of the darker things he went through in season 3, which has me asking what was the point of his season 3 arc then? 

Honestly writing this I realize the biggest parallel he has with Dracula is the call to action from a bold woman with a dramatic entrance speech which then leads to a romance

Isaac’s arc:

in s3, with all the other themes of “humanity sucks” I was always unsure if the townspeople were meant to appear irrational while attacking a larger force instead of letting him pass through an leave, or him not caring about how he’s provoking them is meant to show his insanity

ive seen the discussion elsewhere, curious about the Discourse here

is s4 Isaac has the whole monologue about how he now has agency but him gaining that agency was his s3 arc. In s4 he’s already at the point of accepting it. By the end of s4 he’s one of those who comes the furthest from his first character appearance to his last.

s4e5 where of Isaac attacking Carmilla in Isaac’s 2nd appearance had him resolving like 4 plot threads at once (Carmilla, Striga& Morana, Hector, and Isaac himself).

but i do wonder if Trevor, Sypha, or Alucard even know any of these people exist. I think not

I was honestly confused if I missed a scene from his dialogue about building something and what is inherent nature, to “My plan has evolved, my plan is now conquest” because he only conquests the one castle and the rest is left unclear

Upon rewatch the connection there is “killing [the wizard] felt just ... I liked that feeling”, so the show says that Isaac in the end attacked Carmilla for the sake of justice and not revenge.

Isaac in his last conversation expresses the theme of s4 “build something new on these old bones, where people can live for the future”

however, his arc honestly feel scenes were cut, and then dialogue was written around it. He’s the only living character who doesn’t show up in the epilogue and the sentient night creature “what if I could empty hell” dialogue was some of the most interesting worldbuilding. Night creatures with sentience and possibility of regaining memories!!!!

The Council of Sisters & Hector’s arc:

oh I’ve already seen s4 discourse about Lenore/Hector while searching for character analysis, a chunk of it seems to be rationalizing the absolute difference between how s3 ended with these characters and s4. It was extremely confusing for me and my friends; wondering if 1) was Hector showing more emotional intelligence than before and putting on a facade to cover up hatred? Nope 2) did more time pass than 6 weeks for there to be some kind stockholm syndrome? No, Hector seems fine to let Lenore kill herself

The slave control ring: played up in the climax of s3 and easily solved s4. s3 Lenore says if he tries to harm them, flee, or take it off it would cause crippling pain, in s4 Hector just easily cuts off his own finger.

for a control ring that they take time to show a version being on the Rebus, it doesn’t do much controlling of Hector

also guess the definition of “do harm” just refers to direct action

Lenore in s4: has no purpose in conquest, has that useless remarked on by multiple characters, is imprisoned, then kills herself after a genre aware philosophical discussion. This essay is long enough, but what the fuck happened to this character who ended s3 clearly physically and sexually abusive? Seriously this was one of the biggest writing changes to the point where she was treating Hector as an equal. Compare her last words in s3 “shh the real people [vampires] are talking”. The change in the relationship is actually something I would have taken being shown, or atleast told of what exactly caused this change other than the vague “you adopted him”

Striga&Morana get the best arc of the Council. 3 scenes: the tent argument, Daybreak armor fight & argument resolution, declaration of feelings and turning away. You could argue Castlevania is plot to be connective tissue between fight scenes, but for all the dialogue about human resistance in different seasons it was nice to see it. Overall the scenes were short but had a lot of showing what their relationship is not just telling,

unlike Carmilla. For as much hyping up as they did with her, and as much power as she had, she only appeared in 2 episodes and no other group except Isaac knew about her military conquest.

the map scene where she states her motive for conquest of wanting to take things from old men is the key example of how characterization became tell not show. How interesting was that monologue compared to the past seasons flashback to her murmuring the old vampire lord, or all her repeated insults of men/man-children that shows how she judges people??

That monologue had to carry the weight of justifying the Sisterhood bonds falling apart as well as why her motivation changed from building a human pen from Styria to Braila to world conquest. I think it did so poorly

Sypha & Trevor

really Sypha & Trevor have the main plot in the show. I checked and post season 1 the only episode they don’t appear in is s4e6, which is entirely devoted to the Isaac, Hector, and Council of Sisterhood arc. Their partnership and adventures are the main plot of the show.

Its easy to see what Trevor’s arc was over the show: coming to peace with the deaths of his family, taking up the mantle of being a Belmont, and starting a new family with Sypha.

With Sypha I actually had to scroll through tv tropes for what is her character arc, and I guess hers is disillusionment from adventure and life outside the speakers? My friends joke that Sypha’s magic is what the plot demands to look cool in a fight, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Tangent: the ending of their arc was easy to guess: as soon as Trevor went to fight the final boss alone I literally said “oh i bet Sypha’s pregnant, Trevor’s doing a heroic sacrifice, theyll use the unexplained magical dagger mcguffin, and 60/40 odds that he goes through an infinite corridor to outright come back vs just the implication he might come back”

I guess my final thought of the show, was overall the SUPER Final Boss got my by surprise. It was a good twist I enjoyed. Not that Death appeared, I had guessed that from the heavy foreshadowing, but I was surprised by who it was, because I had thought I thought the characters involved feeling shoehorned into the plot was just more bad writing. The Alchemist who put St Germain on the path or murder for no discernible motive for helping? Sure gotta move the plot along. New Dracula court member Varney who has a whole introduction with almost every character he meets and banter about his smell? Sure thats basically how all characters talk with a snarky and acerbic voice.