#self-serving war pig

[nathaniacolver]

guys i'm so sorry but "oinked poison" IS HILARIOUS

like i KNOW they're both MAD mad bc how do you not break at this 😭😭😭

(in her brain cait's already fucked her stupid)

((caitvi stop mentioning random animals challenge))

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x08 - “Killing is a Cycle” ↳ "How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig?"

[kamalasloth]

Caitlyn Kiramman Analysis- The Wooden Boat

In S2E8, there is a scene where Caitlyn talks with both Maddie and Vi, which also features seconds long close-up shots at the wooden boat trinket she holds in her hand. My interpretation of the importance of this wooden boat is that it showcases how Caitlyn manages her emotions at this point in the series, and also how it highlights Vi’s importance in her life.

1st closeup: During Caitlyn’s conversation with Maddie

“You can’t blame yourself.”

“I don’t need consolation. I need a plan”

Here Maddie makes an attempt to comfort Caitlyn, to which Caitlyn clenches her fist around the wooden boat, refusing to let Maddie remove it.

The trinket serves as a manifestation of Caitlyn’s emotions. She doesn’t see Maddie as a person she can confide in, so she decides to keep her emotions bottled in, thus the wooden boat held firmly in her hand.

2nd closeup: Caitlyn’s heated conversation with Vi

“How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear, and you just ate it!”

“I know!”

In contrast with her holding onto the wooden boat for dear life with Maddie, here Caitlyn throws the trinket at the ground in frustration.

Although they’re clearly in an argument, them having an argument itself is a difference in how Caitlyn views Maddie and Vi.

She doesn’t trust Maddie with matters of her heart, so she avoids even putting real emotion into their conversations, acting as formal as she can, Caitlyn acknowledges the social status between them (commander and officer).

With Vi, Caitlyn isn’t afraid to speak freely, so she tosses the wooden boat, her raw emotions out towards Vi, in hopes that Vi would understand what she is feeling. The reason why they’re even in an argument is because Caitlyn trusts Vi so so much. To give a personal example, I can get into an argument with my family over the tiniest things, every few weeks, but not with other random people in my life. That is because we don’t bottle up our emotions towards people we love!! We aren’t afraid to let them know what we really think, as opposed to having conversations with other people in our lives, we try to always say the appropriate thing.

This isn’t the only case where Caitlyn shows how much she trusts Vi.

Earlier in the story, we as a fandom always laugh at how Caitlyn immediately folded after hearing Vi out about saving Vander. There is still a valid reason behind why she would do that (besides her being down bad🤣). Just as Vi later said, Ambessa is fake AF, which means nobody in her life apart from Vi has pure intentions, so imagine her being in that toxic environment for so long and then Vi hits her with an “I want to save my dad.” That is like the realest thing anyone has said to her for a while, so of course she wanted to help her😭 Remember season 1 guys, they’re both smol beans with good hearts 💔

But back to Caitlyn tossing the wooden boat, in another perspective, Caitlyn is pouring out her heart out to Vi, basically saying, I no longer know what to do, every time I try to do the right thing it always backfires, PLEASE HELP ME. She doesn’t have to care about her social status, or showing her soft side to Vi, WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE CONCLUSION that had Vi not stomp out of the room after, they would’ve fucked right then and there. Lmao.

Here is the clip I referred to for this analysis:

[nereidof40k]

Today is Husbandry day. It’s not as long as yesterday’s, but hopefully you enjoy. It’s a report from Sevatar and Rushal, I will see if I write an interlude.

Mind you, neither of them is entirely sober.

I’m not 100% happy, but I need to stop tweaking this and post.

I thought I left reports behind when I came here. The saying really should be “Nothing is certain except death and paperwork.” But my lady needs her rest.

I would almost feel sorry for those fighting ring fuckheads if they weren’t such patronizing, self important pricks. That was the most one sided beatdown I have seen. And that’s coming from the former First Captain of the Eighth.

If I cared a damn about the Legion, I might bother to tell them a bunch of farmers and grandmothers are better at preparing for war than them. Eh.

Classic case of hurry up and wait. It took those shits forever to actually get here. Probably too stupid to navigate their way down a straight road. (Possible noble ancestors?)

But once they got here, they started screaming threats. I’ll give them 7/10 for effort. 2/10 for content.

I was very glad to have my helmet. The barrage that met them was absolutely blinding. I doubt it was only gunfire. Especially after one particularly arrogant son of a pig stepped past the border between the village and the surrounding area. And caught fire. Yes. Burning like he had been doused in promethium first. Fucker charged ahead, trying to take any of us down with him. Russ would be impressed.

Who are these people we live among? I have seen baselines fight, and this was not it.

Too fast, too stealthy, and I swear I saw claws, fangs and tails.

Your average grandma definitely doesn’t leap over a man’s head, landing on his back, then twists his head off like opening a beer.

Nor do I think farm boys can grab a man’s gun and bend it until it points at the shooter.

But I’m frankly not complaining. Especially with the respectful way these people have treated us. Fuck, they’re actually curious about Nostramo. Language, culture, food, stories.

My beloved sun definitely is not a baseline either. I saw how she was fighting, and it was incredible. I now know what beauty is.

Thankfully we managed to keep Altani out of the fighting. I was younger than her when I killed my first man, but it’s different when it’s her. I want her to be able to retain that innocence and sweetness for as long as possible.

The victory feast was memorable. Even if my beloved was rather exhausted. Sitting there with her leaning against my side, exchanging tales new and old. I told them why I am called the Prince of Crows, and they actually loved it. Some of the Grandmothers offered to help me with my gifts. Is this what brotherhood and family actually should be like? Why do they bother with me? With a weird Nostraman gutter brat? Why?

I guess the ale got to my head, this stuff is strong.

Raven, want to add anything? I’m going to bed to cuddle my Sun.

=====

He’s right, you know. I was wondering if this is a retirement community for monsters or something. No wonder we fit right in. I’m not sure they really needed us, but they were happy to have us. I can understand his sentiment about fitting in. My Lord didn’t give a shit about me and my brothers. So I admit it. I cried a little.

The fighting ring assholes are dealt with. Permanently. The authorities would complain, but they couldn’t keep them locked up, so fuck them.

My Terran brothers would have been impressed. There’s a couple Raven Guard in the area, but they’re from Deliverance, so I get along better with the baselines. And isn’t that sad?

I do hope that ale they served doesn’t attract any Space Wolves. I’m getting rather fond of the peace and quiet. So if I hear howling, it’s boot to the head time. Particularly if it’s that wolf they told stories about. No sun eating furballs here, thank you.

Altani is giggling and telling me to go to bed. Splendid idea. She needs to go back to bed herself. We did make sure she got a good night story or three. We’re not savages.

Altani hits the post button, since he was about to forget. Raven then picks her up and carries her back to bed.

[butterflypancakes]

What is lost, can be found.

Warnings: English is not my first language, I’m still learning how to use tumblr, swearing, William Stryker

Tell me if I missed any.

This is story is inspired by @just-dreaming-marvel’s LTB. If you haven’t already read that amazing book please check it out, it’s such a good read!

Chapter one.

(Y/N) sat on a bench, overlooking the coast as she enjoyed her cheap sandwich with a tired expression. She was so sick of hiding- running, whatever you called it, being in the shadows. She was exhausted, but there was nothing she could do. The world she lived in- it would never accept a freak like her, her father certainly didn’t so why would anyone else?

Like always, she found herself wandering the streets of the town she called her home, not that she could even remember the name of it anyway- not when she had claimed so many homes in the past yet none of them truly felt it. Making her way back to her shitty apartment, she froze in terror as a strange man stood where, what was supposed to be her safe haven.

Wasting no time, she Immediately summoned a spare of water, pointing it at the strange man. “Who the fuck are you?” (Y/N) glared, her whole body tense and guarded. The man only gave a nervous yet easy going chuckle, his hands up in a way to show slight surrender. “Calm yourself, I’m not here to fight, I’m here to talk.”

That had only made her more closed off. “I don’t believe you.” She sneered. The mystery man nodded before taking a seat casually. “My name is William Stryker, and I am assembling a team- a team of people like you.” (Y/N) shakes her head, her made up weapon or her guard down. “How did you find me?”

William shakes his head with a chuckle. “For someone who has been alive as long as you have, your sense of self preservation is very low. I’ve been following you around for a long time, (Y/N) (L/N). Did you never notice?” Her eyes widened in fear, something he noticed and took advantage of. “Now you are probably thinking that you could easily kill me right here, right now- and I don’t doubt you can’t. But I would rethink that thought, I came with backup and the moment they suppcet me dead, they'll kill you. Now, you’re strong, but not that strong. And I think we both know that.”

(Y/N) was as stiff as a rock, her glaze never leaving Williams but she didn’t make a move. That made William comfortable enough to continue. “I am giving you an opportunity to do something great with her special…abilities-” She frowns at his words.

“Come with me and I’ll help you control and use them for good.” The two never broke eye contact, whether it was a stare down or a show of dominance on his part, she’ll never know. “Or don’t, you can continued to be hunted down, moving town to town, forever in a state of fear,” William reaches out his hand, showing his palm. “Or you could finally be setted. Train and use your power for what it's meant to be, let your uniqueness mean something.”

She took a deep breath, her mind conflicted on what choice to make. ”How do I know if I can trust you?” William shrugs. “You don’t, but I have a feeling you already do…”

(Y/N) hestaints a moment longer. “Will I have my own bed?” The military Major grinned, finally having the final piece of his puzzle, he just needed to place it correctly. “As big as you want it.” She thinks before nodding, lowering her water spare and shaking his hand. “It better be comfortable too.”

—----------------------------------

The moment (Y/N) arrived at camp, she knew she was in for a headache. The men were typical military men. Boorish, smug and pig-headed, even after two world wars she served as a cross nurse, she was always surprised to see the little change in most men she encountered as the world itself changed everyday.

There was however one she found herself fond of, James Logan Howett. The handsome man had been kinder than the other men had been to her. Sticking up to his older brother or other team mates when they spoke about her in a degrading manner. It was nice to feel like she had a friend.

(Y/N) found herself just a bit away from camp, enjoying the night sky and trying to find constellations. “Your dinners going to get cold.” She jumped in surprise at the voice behind her, turning to face Logan, she gave him a small smile as she saw him holding a plate of plain, military food. “Thank you…”

Logan nodded, placing her food down on the log next to her. Pocketing his hands, he goes to leave until he notices her gaze towards the sky. “What are you looking at?” (Y/N) smiles, “The stars, constellations mostly.”

The rugged man looks to the sky to try and find some sort of shape. “I don’t think there's any tonight…” She giggles softly, patting the log spot next to her. Logan hesitates, giving her a once over and seeing how physically relaxed she is- he sees no reason not to.

Taking his seat, he tries to follow her gaze. “I still can’t see anything…” Logan admits, his voice almost a whisper. (Y/N) points to a cluster of stars and speaks up. “That there, it’s the ‘scales’. I read a book about them once, it says they’re supposed to represent balance and justice.”

She sees Logan squint his eyes, trying to see what she does. With a gentle smile, she grabbed his hand. He stiffened and flinched slightly at the sudden touch, wanting to pull away, but after seeing the gentleness in her beautiful eyes, he let her hand hold and guide his.

“Follow this star, to this one…” The more she guides, the more he sees. “And then finish at that one, and you should see.”

Logan slowly nodded, finally seeing the constellation for the first time in his almost hundred year existence. “I see why you like this,” He looks at her, his expression soft, She shrugs with a smile. “It’s something that takes my mind off…this whole situation.” She gestured to the camp. “You’re welcome to join me whenever you’d like.”

The two looked at each other, it seemed for the first time in forever they had found some type of peace within the wicked world they lived in, some sort of contentment in each other's company for reasons unknown to them.

With a soft nod, Logan agreed. An almost smile crossed his lips as for a brief moment he looked at hers. “Yeah. I’d like that…”

[bluezorya-art]

Ambessa Medarda, the Self-serving War Pig

[sevikas-biceps]

Since everyone's making theories about Maddie...

How long were you sidled-up with that self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear, and you just ate it.

I could be wrong, but this is my take on this line from the A3 teaser.

It's Vi who says this, and to Caitlyn at that. Now, the camera cuts to Ambessa in the trailer, which I assume was to deliberately mislead the viewers into thinking it was about her. But we already know that Ambessa is a warlord—and Vi herself is already aware that Caitlyn sided with Ambessa in this whole shebang. Martial law? Attacking Viktor's commune? She already knew. It'd be redundant to make this line refer to Ambessa herself.

Honestly, there's a good chance it refers to Maddie.

Look at the words used: sidled-up, self-serving, pig.

We know Caitlyn and Maddie shagged, which would explain the reason for 'sidled-up'. To 'sidle-up' means to move close to someone in a quiet or secret way. And, as far as we can infer, only Ambessa seemed to be aware of this 'professional entanglement'—so this relationship must be a secret.

But what about the terms self-serving and pig?

Let's talk about the pig symbolism first. Why that animal specifically? Well, in Shamanic culture; pigs are often seen as the image of healing, fertility, sensuality, and most of all, are made as offerings to gods.

In this case, we can confirm a few things:

Maddie acts as Caitlyn's rebound after her breakup with Vi. Healing and sensuality. If Maddie was indeed a traitor, as most theories seem to suggest, then this means that the CaitVi breakup was a very lucky coincidence: it gave Maddie a reason to get even closer to Caitlyn, one of the figureheads of this war. Not only would she have direct access to any movements or resources regarding Piltover, but she would also act as Caitlyn's saviour: an emotional attachment, a distraction.

In the process of becoming a paramour, Maddie is also essentially selling herself out. In a way, she's offering herself to a god. This isn't too literal, of course, but the imagery stands. This move is very much reminiscent of a concubine's role: in forming that connection with Caitlyn, the time is ripe for a full-scale conflict. If Maddie sought to destabilise Piltover, and Caitlyn is the leader of the city; then Maddie would have the ability to make Topside a breeding ground for war.

Right after Vi says this to Caitlyn, the latter merely responds with a broken, I know!

What does it take for her to express herself in such a way? The last time we saw a breakdown from her, or when a breakdown was at least imminent, was that moment they shared in the tent after the attack on the councillors' memorial. She was pushed to the brink.

All they did was piss me off! What kind of animals...

Animals.

To think that Caitlyn would now sound so resigned?

It's interesting, isn't it?

The betrayal cuts deep—because if this traitor is indeed Maddie, then she'll bring up old wounds as well: Marcus, Grayson. The sheriffs whom Caitlyn knew and/or served—and, to some degree, likely idolised. You'd imagine that, ever since stepping to the role of Commander, she'd've gone over their old files. She knows Marcus was a double-agent; he'd pointed a gun at her on the bridge. But there'd also come a time when Vi would tell her the truth about Vander—about the Hound—and what he meant to Zaun. What he meant to Grayson. Another betrayal, even if a rational one.

Anyway; I really do hope this 'self-serving war pig' that Caitlyn's 'sidled-up with' is indeed Maddie, because all the pieces fit too perfectly into place to think otherwise.

[morethanroommates]

PRE ACT 3 Analysis -- Vi calling Caitlyn a mongoose was funny, and it also struck me as intentional by the writers. A mongoose is one of the few mammals that is naturally immune to snake venom (poison). In the preview for Act 3, we see Vi telling Caitlyn she had been "sidled up with that self-serving war pig" (Ambessa) and that she'd been "oinking poison in your ear." Hear me out. We saw Caitlyn repeatedly challenge Ambessa in acts 1 and 2, and directly defy her in episode 6. In Act 3, I predict she'll take down Ambessa like the snake she is.

[trrenchertrash]

I was finding it difficult to reconcile with Caitvi’s arc this season, and so I’ve been thinking about it and in the end what made it work for me is that the through line of their entire relationship is trust. In s1 you have lines like “in what mad world would I trust someone like you,” and “this only works if we can trust each other,” and of course we’re shown that they do come to trust each other — up until s2e3, when Cait breaks Vi’s trust, breaks her promise. Then they reconnect in act 2 and hesitantly decide to put their trust in each other again, but not without wariness. That’s why Vi has a contingency plan set up with Jinx. She’s giving Caitlyn a second chance to prove herself, to earn that trust back, but she’s not fully convinced. It’s a test, and should Caitlyn fail, Vi is prepared. This leads to their conversation in e8:

Vi: She saved your life! Even knowing you’d never have done the same for her.

Cait: We’ll never know, will we? You didn’t let me in on that part of your plan.

Vi: Clearly the right call, since you still can’t trust her enough not to shove her in a box!

Cait: Trust? You believe I’m so daft I can’t recognize a contingency? She wasn’t there for my benefit, she was there because you didn’t trust me to follow through.

Vi: Can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear and you just ate it!

Cait: I know!

Imo, Vi’s “can you blame me?” is the most important part of this exchange. This is Vi holding Caitlyn accountable: Remember what you did? I do. Can you blame me for no longer trusting you?

The second most important part of this exchange is Caitlyn’s “I know!” Her acknowledgement that Vi is right. That yes, she does remember and she knows what she’s done is wrong. She can’t blame Vi.

Initially I was pretty put out that Cait doesn’t outright apologize, but ultimately I think because we’re strapped for time, this is more important. The purpose of an apology is to admit that what you did was wrong and express remorse for it. And here, that’s exactly what happens. Now, Caitlyn’s remorse doesn’t look the way I expected it to. I think I’m probably not alone in that. Her remorse isn’t soft or weepy (at least not at this point), instead it’s angry and loathsome. But the next steps here are clear. Caitlyn needs to find a way to repair the trust that’s been broken between herself and Vi. And she does, by letting Jinx go, in direct contrast to the action that broke that trust in the first place. It’s I trust you to choose, and you can trust me to stand by you while you do. It’s proof that Vi’s “I always choose wrong” isn’t true (and it’s not, because the narrative payoff of freeing Jinx is that she’s able to rally Zaun to swoop in and save the day later on), and it’s proof that Caitlyn is ready to put Vi ahead of herself, as Vi did for her.

All of the turning points in their relationship revolve around the trust between them. S1 is about building the trust between Cait and Vi. The midpoint of their story, the darkest point, is the breaking of that trust. Then the second half of their story is about repairing that trust. It’s all there.

[lordofdestructionm]

An Unlikely Friendship betrayed

Mordecai being repressed as all hell and having feelings for the first time in his life for his straight best friend and not dealing with that very well is of course pure delicious angst

But even with an entirely platonic attitude to the tuxedo that doesn't necessarily mean Viktor is less hurt by what happened

Viktor is a man who has always wanted to feel useful and needed. As a farm hand, as a soldier, as a manual labourer, as a handyman for his neighborhood, and as a bootlegger.

But unable to return to the land of his birth, tossed aside by the US government after serving his purpose in the war, losing an eye when striking for fairer pay and conditions, abandoned by his wife who took his daughter with her, Viktor has had that sense of purpose snatched away from him too many times. He starts working for Atlas as much because it offers him a new one as much as any gratitude he had for getting him out of custody.

A BIG part of that new purpose became watching out for and guarding the back of a younger tuxedo cat, trying so hard to appear cold and capable to conceal the desperate lost man inside. For whatever reason, despite all his noise, nagging, criticism, prickliness,and their regular arguements, this unlikely partner he spends most of his time with somehow achieves that rare feat of being considered a friend by Viktor "Vinegar" Vasko

He makes sure he isn't taking needless risks, he goes out of his way to retrieve his eye wear from half way up destroyed stairs in a burning building,he tries to help him improve his weak social skills, he wears a tie he offers him for Christmas, and seemingly even agrees to wearing a matching suit at the 1926 New Years party despite hating formal wear

He has a practical purpose as a mechanic, gunman and the muscle of the Lackadaisy gang, while more personally his circle is not much bigger than Mordecai's.

A good hearted but senile neighbor in Mrs Bapka, a young bright eyed girl who fills the gap where his daughter was, and his eccentric partner and likely both best and only friend.

But then Atlas dies, and not long after one of those people puts a bullet in his one fully working knee. We don't know to what extent if any Mordecai explained himself beforehand, but we have to assume Viktor believes like most other people that is was pure spite and self interest as he left them for their biggest rivals.

Not knowing it was a desperate measure to protect him

Now neither of his legs work properly, he is relegated to tending the bar which he must feel is as bad as being benched completely, and following the pig farmers attack, in part due to the robbery of their weapons by that same ex-partner, he currently can't even do that

He is left sitting at home feeling broken and useless without a clear purpose to keep him going, to distract him from the many bad memories hanging over him

All because of the one person he thought, after so many years, wouldn't abandon him, needed him, would always have his back

Not stick a knife in it.

based on response to post by @felinelun

[your-gracelyn]

I’ve seen a few posts where people have misinterpreted something in HOTD, or have missed a detail in a scene, and are chalking it up to bad writing. Not saying the writing doesn’t have flaws but sometimes there are explanations.

Like Ulf saying he’s Baelon’s son. I know he obviously has some kind of Targ ancestors, but I think in that scene he’s meant to be portrayed as a braggart and untrustworthy. He calls Rhaenyra Queen but changes his tune when Aegon walks in, he talks to multiple people saying “don’t worry you’ll get your money” or something, and in the previous ep he openly steals an apple. I don’t think the writers are trying to rewrite Baelon as a cheater or whatever. I think Ulf just chose Baelon because he liked him and thought it would make him seem cooler. I think it’s meant to show Ulf as someone who is willing lie and is self serving. Later, when Ulf’s friends encourage him to go try claim a dragon, he’s hesitant and admits he’s not actually sure if he has any Targ blood.

Or there being no guards during Blood and Cheese when Larys says he’s had untrustworthy staff removed and replaced with own. Larys says in S1 that children are a hindrance, and he’s the one that just so happens to find Blood. There’s a lot of scenes with close up shots of rats, watching Alicent on multiple occasions. Also, when Larys first talks to Alicent the shot lingers on the weirwood tree’s face even as he is already speaking... I think there’s more going on with Larys than we know yet.

The small folk seeing Meleys’ severed head as a bad omen (despite the s1 dragon pit scene, which I do think was a poor writing choice) makes sense when that guy says “I thought dragons was Gods”. They view Targs and their dragons as “closer to Gods than to men”, but Gods aren’t always all loving, they can be reckless and vengeful. So, parading the head of God killed by the king, who is currently at war, through the streets isn’t a good sign, even if, or especially if, that God is partly responsible for killing innocent people. It also sets up a scene that takes place later on in Fire and Blood. Iykyk.

Random thing that doesn’t really matter but, I’ve seen people say Lucerys is laughing at Aemond in the dinner scene because he’s laughing at his missing eye, but I’m pretty sure he’s laughing about the roast pig that gets served? He’s remembering when they gave Aemond “the pink dread”. IIRC Luke already sees Aemond in the training yard BEFORE the dinner scene, he’s already seen his scar/eye patch. It’d be weird for him to laugh at it at dinner when he’s already seen it. Also, the emphasis put on the pig that is placed in between them would be weird if it wasn’t in reference to anything.

[chondrichthyes-x-mantodea]

Self indulgence.

Im at my lowest. I was never meant to be female. I dont have the ability to trick my mind into obeying. Every day is a nightmare. Knowing I can never achieve existence at the same level as men, be SEEN the same as them, is driving me mad. Mere words set me off no matter how much I try to ignore it. It feels like my words fall out of my mouth and shatter into dust as they hit the ground. There is something within me that has always craved pride. I have an insatiable need for identity. What a tragedy, then, to be born into the female body. At my lowest, I'm the dirt that men walk on. At my highest, I am a breeding cow, graded on my ability to serve. The identity of a woman depends on the actions done onto her by a man. Some may say obsessing over perception is meaningless, but to me, I find it to be agonizing. Everything you know has been influenced by the male urge to use our humiliation to feed their ego. Every dynamic between the sexes has been rewritten to tame female and demote her from human to pet. The secondary took the primary and traded places with no tools other than lazy mental manipulation, fairytales, and violence.

The issue causing my turmoil was being raised between worlds. One world, the church and pseudoscientists, gave me a written list and stapled it into my palms. It contained my nature as a woman. From this list, a beast was summoned, a beast that held fast in my mind with its claws. It tears my mind every time there is an attempt at removal. Simple words and events can invite another infestation. The other world, home, told me I could explore sentience in any form I wanted. That my physical existence had no ties to my mental existence. So I worked. Self reflecting, observing, comparing, and contrasting... This predicament leads only to an island of solitude. Isolation. Where I can glance back at the shore and watch the war surging on between people of all kinds, arguing which insulting, drab definition they can REALLY attach to my existence. When I turn around, there are sailors on the other side of my island. They are offering transportation to the shore. At the expense of my identity. If I just forgot about true humanity, if I left behind my nature to dig to the core of subjects, if I abandoned my identity to become the subject of a higher being... I would be allowed back to shore. The shore being, a normal life. Getting married, having children, dying a widow. I would have to suck up my pride in order to serve a mans pride. Numb myself to the hidden connotations within those events. Ignore how my overlord perceives me.

It feels like, where I am, I can not be understood by anyone. If I question the fantasy we've built of the backs of those who share my sex, I'm hysterical. When I speak like this, there is a subconscious reaction in listening ears to make my sentience, identical to man, into that of a disgruntled house cat.

This idea that the default males suffer in silence can only be described as predictable irony. I can talk until my throat bleeds, and I will be passed off as an unstable, unreliable source. I thought this feeling would subside as I matured into an adult, but a woman is no different than a squealing child in the eyes of men.

I try not to show how worrying my behavior is. One day, I'm fine. The other I'm snapping at everything. Even when people care, they only care in terms of shaping me into a usable woman. Taming me. Making me suitable for a man to find pleasure in owning. I've learned that from my time in training at the ward, where girls were housed as "Bellas," and boys were housed as "Vidas." I've learned that from talks with a therapist, where my mental state due to these conflicts is dismissed. In substitution, I'm encouraged with pigs slop, with the most simple form of female encouragement. "Girl power" only makes me want to cry.

What does it do to the human psyche to be stripped of all things neutral? To be forced into categories that revolve the needs of other people? We can simplify these arguments all day with "Women are people," but in truth, simple statments like that do not penetrate the mind in themselves. How have we been taught to perceive the female mind and body? Who's filthy mouth did it come out of? What am I kidding. I can not even walk without fearing I will be brutalized by these demons forgotten by hell itself. I can not expect anything resembling a human existence. The best I can ask for is merely breathing and living, sometimes not even that.

It really does propose a question from the deepest parts of my heart and mind: how can I continue to exist in a body whose definition is soiled by the plauged fingers of male ego itself? How can I exist when my identity, joy, and pride are constantly buried under the smelling pile of fecal matter conjured from a fantastical male reality influenced by insecurity and hatred?

I find myself unable to be happy. I can not find comfort in anything. That is how much males have saturated the fabric of life with their shit stained paws. You can not avoid the grime. So much so that I may die from it one day. Males have created the most potent disease known to the human race. That is how much they hate you.

[jadebrightwind]

First stab at a Dark Tournament Team. I sketched these up at lightning speed since I've had hardly any time to draw the past ten days and wanted to at least put SOMETHING down. All of it is subject to changes since I haven't had a change to really cook these designs/concepts/characters yet and trying to do five at once while my dad was visiting, having to bury one of my guinea pigs (RIP little guy), still having to go to my day job, and trying to prep for FanExpo simultaneously has not done wonders for my creative juices and stress levels. I might just, draw some silly little things from prompts later if I have the energy. From back to front:

Daigo Akiyama - Elder bovine demon. Has a large stature and easily clocks in at over ten feet tall. Currently serves as a caretaker to the Temple of Concord and is one of the eldest members of the Sect. Has seen several demon wars, but doesn't talk in length about his past to the young ones. He would rather put those days behind him and live peacefully where possible. However, he will defend those who seek refuge in the Temple, and understands that sometimes one must fight and kill to protect others and preserve the peace. Daigo generally speaks and moves slowly, encouraging the younger members of the Temple sect to take initiative, leading by example rather than by lecture. His long life makes him knowledgeable about many matters, and he takes a keen interest in several subjects. Although he rarely fights, it is rumored that he is both physically and spiritually one of the strongest members of the Concord Sect. However, Daigo prefers to spend his days reading and tending the gardens with Osamu. The relationship between Daigo and Osamu has deepened through the years, and in order to ensure his human lover can live alongside him as long as possible, Daigo has been secretly funneling life force into him while he sleeps.

Osamu Fujimura - An older human who joined the Concord Sect as a young man and has lived his life training, learning, and fighting for The Temple. He is a tall, lanky man who has a wirey build and clocks in closer to seven feet tall. Initially a scholar by trade, he grew fascinated with demonology and botany. He places great importance on preserving as many species as possible for further study and for the pure joy of the variety of life. Osamu can sometimes grow enthusiastic to the point of getting a bit carried away, but those who are familiar with him know he means well and can bring him back to reality. He assists in raising and teaching the youth of the Temple, even going so far as to refer to them as his own children. The Concord Temple Sect frequently takes in injured and/or orphaned demons and humans of varying ages and origins that are willing to commit to the cause or require sanctuary, no small part in thanks to the urging of Osamu. In fact, their numbers have grown significantly in the last forty years due to Osamu's philosophies and insistence. His fighting capabilities rely on traditional martial arts as well as clever strategy, and as a result, he has bested many an opponent otherwise stronger than himself.

Hanako Shimizu - A water demon supposedly dropped off as an infant at the steps of the Concord Temple. She has long, pink hair that reaches her ankles, and stands about five and a half feet tall. She has no memory and little knowledge of her birth parents, in part by choice, but also in part due to the unwillingness of the Temple elders to speak in detail about the circumstances of her birth and arrival. Whether due to her upbringing or due to her demon nature, Hanako holds herself with temperate poise, behaving with a natural grace and decorum that many would struggle to perfect. However, she is not devoid of her own struggles. The knowledge of being abandoned by her birth parents hangs heavy over her, and the self-loathing that comes with falling short of perfection in one's mind informs many of her decisions. Hanako seeks to use her abilities for peaceful and healing purposes where possible, and laments the prospect of killing others. Osamu and Daigo, having raised her to value peace and harmony between humans and demons, now struggle to encourage her to explore her abilities without fear, and to instill in her the reality that pacifism is not always feasible when striving for unity or defending oneself and others.

Takeshi Igarashi - A young tiger demon raised in the confines of the Temple. He is younger than Hanako and Rie and stands about five and a half feet tall. Takeshi wants to grow as strong as the legendary Byakko, but wants to do so to protect his family and the Temple. He strives to become a hero, fighting for the cause of peace and harmony. Out of the three orphans, Takeshi has taken his circumstances with the most even stride. However, his naivety and inexperience, as well as his propensity for being a complete dork, sometimes get the better of him. He is the little brother of Hanako and Rie, and both are protective of him in their own respects. Like Byakko, he can manipulate his breath and energy into lightning, and the force of his power is often the factor that wins his fights.

Rie Fujimura - A weasel demon with a love of knives, she is sharp by many definitions of the word. She was also orphaned as a young demon, but was old enough to remember being taken in by the elders of the Temple and given a home amongst them. Despite standing only four feet tall, her snappy attitude can command a room with ease. Rie is honest to a fault and extremely protective of Hanako and Takeshi, living by the philosophy that only SHE is allowed to bully them. She is the eldest of the three. Rie perhaps resents how others underestimate her due to her appearance and wears her irritation and poor attitude on her sleeve when crossed. Osamu and Daigo often have to step into curb her fiery temper, but when all factors are considered, her deep loyalty to the Concord Sect prevent her from delving into carnage and bloodlust. Rie is quick to judge and quick to move, and opponents find it hard to catch up with her once she has procured the upper hand.

[cherryblossomcinephile]

The Hidden Lessons of Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away 

Written and Directed by Japanese director Hayao Miyazaki, Spirited Away tells the story of Chihiro and her family. 

Chihiro is a 10-year-old girl who gets trapped in a world of spirits, gods, and other mysterious creatures. At face value, it looks like a fantastic adventure but if you scratch beneath the surface, it is a story that touches many issues relevant in Japan as well as worldwide. 

Spirited Away is a symbolic movie in the way it presents the issues of Japan during the post war economic boom. Consumerism, environmental degradation, industrial growth, and greed are all represented. When Chihiro’s parents are transformed into pigs after eating food at the bathhouse, this is meant to be a metaphor for the loss of self when consumed by greed. 

Some universal themes within Spirited Away that are relevant globally include the topics of pollution. A river spirit presents themselves covered in trash, and this can serve as the environmental crisis faced worldwide. This river spirit could be Miyazaki’s call to action to end pollution. 

I have a personal connection to Spirited Away because this film speaks on both political issues as well as environmental issues. I am passionate about keeping our environment safe and utilizing what we have for the good of humanity. Spirited Away is a great film teaching the lesson of humility and responsibility which can make one reflect on one's own life.  

Spirited Away is a film that I have viewed many times as I am a fan of Studio Ghibli. The animation is top tier like many Studio Ghibli films and the representation of greed, identity, and the environment are still relevant if not more so today than it was when it was released in 2001. 

This is a film that the whole family can enjoy. 

My Rating: 9/10 

[coochiequeens]

I'm usually anti-death penalty but I would rather this guy get the chair then have women at risk.

By Genevieve Gluck. January 2, 2024

A trans-identified male convicted of the grisly murders of two men is serving his 50-year sentence in a women’s correctional facility. Vietnam war and US Navy veteran Susan Monica, born Steven Buchanan, had dismembered the bodies of his victims and fed them to pigs at a 20-acre farm he owned in Wimer, Oregon.

In 1991, Buchanan purchased a 20-acre farm in Oregon where he would kill two handymen in 2012 and 2013 before feeding their corpses to the pigs he owned at the property. He was sentenced to a minimum of 50 years in prison in 2015, and multiple new outlets reporting on the case referred to Buchanan simply as a “woman,” without mentioning his transgender status or the fact he is a biological male.

“You shot two people and fed them to your pigs,” Judge Tim Barnack told Buchanan during sentencing. “I don’t know how else I can put it. You valued pigs more than you value people. It may sound harsh, but you are a cold-blooded killer.”

According to the Oregon state Department of Corrections, Buchanan is incarcerated at Coffee Creek Correctional Facility, a women’s facility. He is listed under his feminine name, Susan Monica, and is described as being “female” in official records.

In 2012, Buchanan hired 59-year-old Stephen Delicino to assist him with tasks on the farm in exchange for financial compensation and accommodations. According to Buchanan’s testimony, the two became involved in a physical altercation after Buchanan discovered that Delicino was in possession of two of his guns. During a confrontation over the alleged theft, Buchanan claims that a gun misfired, striking Delicino in the back of the head and killing him.

However, Buchanan’s story regarding the death of Delicino was inconsistent. He variously claimed that Delicino shot himself in the head, and that he had shot the victim in self-defense — before his remains were eaten by Buchanan’s pigs.

What was left of Delicino’s corpse would later be found by investigators in plastic bags on the property, but not before Buchanan killed again.

The following year, Buchanan hired Robert Haney, 56, as a handyman by placing an advertisement for hired help. In the summer of 2013, Haney’s children became concerned when they could not contact their father, and filed a missing persons report with the Jackson County Sheriff’s Office.

Haney’s son, Jesse, revealed in a documentary for Oxygen about the killings that he visited Buchanan’s farm on January 1, 2014 inquiring as to the whereabouts of his father, and to retrieve his belongings. “We hadn’t seen or heard from my dad for two months. We just all started to panic,” he said. “His leather jacket was there. His dog was still running around and all his tools were there… It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.”

When officers initially questioned Buchanan about Haney’s disappearance, he told them that the handyman had quit and left the farm. Yet suspicions were raised when Buchanan was caught on security camera footage using Haney’s Oregon Trail Electronic Benefits Transfer card (EBT) to pay for items at a Walmart the day after he claimed that Haney had left his property.

Law enforcement officers executed a search warrant on the property and were shocked by the dilapidated conditions of Buchanan’s farm, which included piles of garbage, rotting food, and industrial waste. 

“I would describe that property as eerie. There was a very strong order there, a lot of decay,” former Jackson County Sheriff’s Detective Julie Denney told Oxygen.

Then, investigators discovered the remains of a human leg. “It was clear that it was not an animal bone. It appeared to me to be a human leg that had been severed mid-femur, down to the toes,” Denney said.

Detectives brought Buchanan in for further questioning, at which point Buchanan told a bizarre story about putting Haney “out of his misery.”

Buchanan claimed that a few months prior, he had discovered his pigs in a feeding frenzy, devouring Haney’s intestines “with his guts all over the place.” 

Steven Buchanan / Susan Monica, mugshot via Jackson County Sheriff’s Office

“He was being eaten, what I believed to be, alive,” Buchanan told detectives during the interview. “I put him out of his misery. I do that for my animals and this was the first time I did it for a human being and I knew it was wrong but if it were one of my pigs suffering out there, I would have done the same thing.”   

State Police forensic anthropologist Veronica Vance testified that Haney had suffered three to four gunshot wounds to the head. His legs had been chopped off with an ax, though it was unclear whether this occurred before or after Haney’s death. Additionally, his thigh bones showed signed of having been gnawed on by an animal.

Buchanan stated that he didn’t inform authorities about the incident because he feared that his pigs would be put down. When investigators asked whether they would find anything else on his property, Buchanan drew a map with an “X” and said, “Right there. That’s where you’re going to find Steve,” referring to Delicino.

“I do not value human life very much,” Buchanan would admit during a taped confession. “My feeling is the only thing wrong with the planet is there’s people on it. If not for us, all the other animals, even dodo birds, would be here.”

The lead detective involved with the case told the court that Buchanan had admitted to killing over a dozen victims in a similar manner. “She told me that if she told me about the 17 others that she would spend the rest of her life in jail,” said detective Eric Henderson, referring to Buchanan as a woman.

Delicino’s daughter Eva told Oxygen that she also believed there were more unidentified victims.

“I think there’s more people… I don’t know what the motive would be… I don’t think that you kill two people in that manner and that it wasn’t premeditated. I think [he] did it to other people, too… and even the investigators believe that there are more people out there on [his] property.”

Buchanan was arrested on January 14, 2014 and charged with two counts each of murder and first-degree abuse of a corpse as well as one count of identity theft, the Mail Tribune reported at the time. Dozens of crime scene investigators searched the property, digging over 100 holes over the following weeks. Though they uncovered the remains of both Haney and Delicino, as well as the victims’ personal belongings, no other bodies were found.

A former cellmate of Buchanan’s at the Jackson County jail testified to getting “chills” after receiving a birthday card from Buchanan signed, “from the sweetest murderer in Jackson County.”

It is unclear how many men claiming a transgender status are currently being held in women’s facilities in Oregon state. As Reduxx previously reported, a man in custody for the brutal murder of his ex-girlfriend had been briefly transferred to the Coffee Creek Women’s Correctional Facility, but was quickly moved back to the male estate just weeks later for unknown reasons.

Zera Lola Zombie, born Daniel Lee Smith, has received a “vulnerable” designation by an Oregon Court, entitling him to special protections and privileges due to his gender identity. He is classified as a “female” inmate in the Oregon inmate directory.

[hprarepairfest]

Rare Pair Fest IV Works - Day 10

Some incredible ships to share today!!

Title: The Bet Author: @fiestylilmetalbendingqueen Ship: Narcissa Black Malfoy/Ginny Weasley, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley Prompt: #385 Rating: M Word Count: 3,893 Warnings: None Summary:

Ginny and Draco have been fuckbuddies for awhile but there's somebody else that catches Ginny's eye.

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Title: Can't Fight the Moonlight Author: @phantomgrimalkin Ships: Draco/Harry, Remus/Draco, Remus/Harry, Remus/Harry/Draco Prompt: 274 Rating: E Word Count: 31,344 Warnings: None Summary:

Sirius was currently in America, on a three month motorcycle road trip he had been planning in his head since he was 12. It had taken Harry the better part of a decade to convince him to go, that the world wouldn't fall apart just because his adoptive father was doing something for himself.

So, of course, Harry got himself and Draco bitten by a werewolf two weeks into it.

Fortunately, Remus is there to help the new wolves adjust.

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Title: Scared Author: @siriusly-sapphic Ship: Cho Chang/Marietta Edgecombe Prompt: #15 Rating: T Word Count: 1,160 Warnings: T Summary:

Cho comforts Marietta after she betrays Dumbledore's Army, and they realise how scared they both are of the war to come.

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Title: Two of the Easiest Words in Gaelic Author: sky_watcher_rose Ship: Minerva McGonagall / Druella Rosier Black Prompt: Modern AU. Minerva had been teaching for several years now, and knew eventually that she would be teaching her old schoolmates' kids. And still, she's somehow nervous to have a parent-teacher conference with Druella Rosier. Rating: M Word Count: 28k (6 chapters plus epilogue) Warnings: N/A Summary:

Minerva will be the first to admit that Druella Rosier -now Druella Black - was the love of her life. But it’s been twenty years since they last saw each other, and she’s done her best to move on. When Druella unexpectedly arrives at a parents’ evening - the first she’s attended in the four years that Minerva has been teaching her children - both of them have to face up to certain feelings that never went away.

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Title: if you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did Author: psychiatristgirl Ships: Regulus Black/Peter Pettigrew, minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, minor James Potter/Lily Evans Prompt: self-prompt Rating: T Word Count: 3702 Warnings: Past sibling incest, Mentions of past child abuse Summary:

"Exactly," said Regulus. "It has been years. Why bother inviting them now?"

"Remus said they were close to our place. I couldn't not invite them. Besides, they are our friends—"

"Your friends," corrected Regulus waspishly, pushing the comb to his lover's chest. "I'm going out."

"Where to?"

Regulus paused, then sighed. "Groceries. All of them eat like pigs, and I'd loathe to serve up anything less than a perfect dinner."

Or: The past knocks on Regulus' door one evening. He muses on all the reasons he prefers the present.

~

🍐 See the whole collection revealed so far HERE! 🍐