#seriously no one deserves jody shes just too good

[ihatedean]

we finished ep10 and i neeeed to say some shit.

of course they'd bring missouri back just to kill her. i'm the idiot for believing they'd actually do something fun with her.

i've only had jack for 9 episodes and i would genuinely die for him. not even joking. he's the only good thing to come out of the bunker era. also. mama bear sam??? wow. i don't know how i feel about dean yet- i know he grows fond of jack later, but i don't think i've ever seen him treat anybody like this. at least not people who didn't deserve it... it's weird.

oh god. they did that for me actually. my cringe little girl. he looks soooo dumb and its so so hot. i love the boots. i love it when he cosplays. i love that they had absolutely NO privacy in that motel. wow.

4. i want ketch gone. not in a "ohhh he's so evil i want him gone!" way. it's a "please please erase everything BMOL-related from existence" way. i don't like him, the only thing he brings to the table so far is mentioning rowena. but i genuinely hope he's here just for a few episodes until something kills him.

5.e8.... happened. i guess it was....... different. e9 and... uh. dinosaurs? i HATED the camera movement, though. there's that.

6. what the fuck was up with dean forcing kaia to get in the car. holy fuck. i know we're supposed to believe its because he's doing whatever he can to bring his mother back but.... jesus. he just. wouldn't do that. it was genuinely devastating to see him act like that- it crossed too many lines.

7. holy fuck. holy fuck WAYWARD SISTERS. ugh, so many feelings. we could not shut up while watching. it was sooo much fun and such a cool way to get the girls together!! i love that you can tell they have different dynamics w each other- it feels real. there's a gentleness in claire that she shows to the "new girls" of the gang, cool big-sister vibes that she uses to calm them down, ease them into it. and another one, deeper, reserved just for her sister alex. when alex and claire are talking you can FEEL the years of growing up together. they've said some nasty things to each other, you just know it. and yeah i ship it. but: it does sting that they've been building all these great female characters who are strong and funny and smart and caring, and then proceeded to give them an episode that felt.... ugh, i don't know. i hate the word performative, but i just wish it had been treated with more seriousness? like. give them a scary looking monster, at least. let them look messy. i couldn't stop looking at claire's perfectly curled hair throughout the whole episode. they're beautiful women, i already know that, they would look pretty even if you roughen them up, i promise. it felt like the show kept repeating "wow these women are BAD-ASS, right? right!? they shoot guns!" in a way that they never needed to with jo or ellen or fuck, jody. one look at ellen and i was straightening my back, man. i miss that. i miss characters that didn't need to show their scars to show how bad-ass they are.

Anyways. I hated season 12. But it was something. And it showed the hunter world outside of Sam and Dean, something I missed a lot. With season 13 I can officially say I'm just here to watch Jensen Ackles' mouth moving. That's it. Asmodeus might have been a fun character for a video game. I hate him in this show. I want Mary gone, or at least I want someone to remember who Mary Winchester is and write her as such. Kevin was there for a moment, that was cool. Mark Pellegrino was not paid enough.

[sfb123]

7,19 22, and 23 for the three songs ask

Ooooh so many numbers for me to answer! Thank you so much for asking! 🥰

"the three songs" ask set

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

I answered this one in a previous post. I had a hard enough time thinking of these three, or else I'd come up with three more for you! 😂

19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure

The funny thing about this one is that I'm pretty open about my weirdness, so I don't know if there are any songs I would actually feel guilty about listening to. But here are a couple that I think fit the bill.

I know Paris Hilton is a big deal DJ now, but back in the day, she tried to be a pop star. She succeeded in being a one hit wonder. And this song slaps. I still listen to it on the regular.

The fact that I even know an O-Town deep cut is proof positive that this one deserves a shout out. This song is so good because of how truly corny it is. It’s a “love” song that is basically spoken in all cheesy pickup lines, and it’s hilarious. This definitely comes off more as a parody boy band song, but it is, in fact, a band that was supposed to be taken seriously.

This song in 1999? A jam.

This song in 2022? A problem. 

I’m not going to dig into it here, just take a look at the lyrics. The message of the song is not great, like at all, but I still dance in my seat whenever it comes on. 

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad

Anything No Doubt is always my go-to when I’m feeling down. They’re my favorite band, so listening to them just makes me happy. This song in particular is one that I listen to when I’m feeling sad, and want to remind myself that I’m a bad bitch and I can handle whatever is making me sad. 

Not technically No Doubt, so I’m counting it. This is my go to song when I’m sad and instead of pumping myself up, I want to cry it out.

When I’m sad, I need comfort. Disney is my number one comfort, and of course Ariel is my number one princess. I have a whole Disney playlist that I go to when I’m sad. This song, while one of my favorites, also serves as a representative for all of those comfort songs from my childhood. 

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up

I answered this one here, but I’ll pick three more for you! 

This is a newer pick. I’ve never been much of a fan of it, to be honest. It was just that song I had to listen to for a few seconds before The Hills started. Then, a radio show I listen to created a playlist that they called “go girl rock”, which is basically exactly what it sounds like, and this song was on that. I listened to the playlist, because there were some great songs on it. Then this song came on, and I listened to is from beginning to end, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t legitimately feel hyped and ready to take on the world by the end of it. 

I sometimes refer to Fall Out Boy as my college boyfriends. They were the band I listened to the most during that time in my life. I’ve also seen them more times than I can even remember (and met them two or three times too), and they ALWAYS end the show with Saturday. The song is hype, and the album version alone could get me pumped, but the fact that this song will always bring me back to those amazing live moments is what pumps me up the most about it. I hear this song, and I feel like I’m ready to mosh (notice I said feel like, I’m far to dainty of a flower to actually mosh at a concert). 

This song is a whole ass party. It’s upbeat, it’s fun, and the lyrics embody the ‘I don’t give a fuck what you think’ attitude I try (emphasis on try) to live by.

[chronic-invisibility]

I stopped coming on here for like almost a month i think bc i added some tags onto a post i reblogged and the op called me out and said i completely misunderstood everything (except they misunderstood what i was trying to say so fuck me ig) and i got upset and dipped. In the meantime, lots of stuff has happened, but also not much.

I went back to university, the semester started last Thursday and it’s going well so far, I’m majoring in Museum Studies bc I am a big nerd, and it’s a 100% online program so I’m still working and I don’t have to like, move to Arizona, which is good.

Work is meh, we’re starting vaccine clinics again soon so I’ll be doing that again with this season’s flu and covid shots, and maybe other vaccines as well I’m not sure what the regulations are now. We still only have one pharmacist on staff so we’re stuck with a rotating cast of floaters, some of whom are more helpful than others. And the customers are still horrible, that hasn’t changed. I got yelled at for 10 minutes today by someone who’s doctor called in over a dozen prescriptions and then faxed us and cancelled all of them so we put them all back, which was a mistake apparently and then after we finally got it sorted and got them called in again, we were supposed to close in 10 minutes so it was physically impossible to fill 15 prescriptions for one person, and she wanted us to stay open late just for her, which legally we can’t do and also no, we want to go home and she was being so rude we didn’t really want to help her at all. So yeah, work is work

In good news, I’ve been talking to someone i matched with on a dating app (my intro that they messaged me about was mcr related, so you know they’re a keeper) and we’ve been on 2 dates and text a lot and we’re planning on hanging out again this Tuesday. They’re a special ed teacher and they have adhd so they get how my brain works and they work with kids whose brains work similarly to both of ours, and they’re really funny and cool and smart and nice and pretty, I really hope this keeps going well bc I really like them.

I watched the newest season of Heartstopper twice in a row after it came out, reread all the comics that are out (Alice Oseman is still publishing them, too, so that’s nice) and then rewatched both seasons in a row. It’s so cute and so good and i can feel the hyperfixation building. I’ve watched it enough that I keep slipping into a british accent when I talk, which is entirely unintentional but not the worst thing. I can also do it on purpose, but i tend to pick up accents from people I hear talk a lot, which is maybe the only fun side effect of masking my whole life

I’ve seen a few really good plays and musicals recently, I know I saw The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window before i stopped posting on here, but that was really good, and then I saw Kimberly Akimbo the other day, it was INCREDIBLE. The music and the writing are amazing, obviously, and the actors were all so good, again obviously. They won 5 Tony’s last season, including for Best Musical and Best Featured Actress in a musical and Best Lead Actress in a musical, which were so well-deserved, I seriously cannot hype this show up enough. There’s so many good shows on Broadway right now and I wish I could see them all, there were a bunch I wanted to see but closed before I got the chance, too, including Prima Facie starring Jody Comer, but I bought the script for that one.

In less fun news, I think i might need to put a read more here bc there be triggers coming

Between my chronic GI issues (trying to see a specialist about it again but there’s a whole mess of problems with that i just don’t feel like typing) and watching season 2 of Heartstopper and also rereading it and seeing Charlie struggling with his eating disorder, I’ve lapsed pretty hard with my own. I can’t really call it a relapse bc I was never really actually trying to recover, but I was trying for a while to eat a little more normally, but that’s basically out the window now. Thanks brain, so helpful of you to see a person struggling with a similar mental illness to mine and say “well they’re sicker than you so you suck and also you need to work harder at being sick like them” like FUCK OFF that’s not helpful and also Charlie is literally a fictional character and most of the storyline is about how he’s trying to get help for his ed and how awful they are, and his ed and mine aren’t the same, nor are our reasons for being disordered. So that’s not been fun.

I also realized (after watching a video by a therapist reacting to the scene when Ben assaults Charlie in Heartstopper and then going and obsessively researching legal definitions) that what happened to me in the summer of 2019 would probably be classified as a rape, not just a sexual assault. Which it also was, but what happened falls under the legal definition of rape, not just assault. So I’ve been spiraling about that, even though I still remember almost none of it and once again my garbage brain has decided that I’m somehow not allowed to be that upset or say I’m traumatized bc I don’t experience two of the most common symptoms of ptsd (flashbacks and nightmares) so clearly, this is all me being dramatic, even though basically everything else fits. And those aren’t required to be diagnosed with ptsd. Not that I WANT ptsd, but for whatever reason I feel like i’m not allowed to even say i’m a little bit traumatized by what happened bc of that. Again, stupid brain. I also realized after talking to the person I’ve been talking to (idk if we’re officially dating, maybe i should ask) about boundaries and what we’re both comfortable with, that the last person who I’ve had any “romantic” physical contact with was the person who raped me, and also the only sexual contact I’ve ever had (unless i’ve blocked out more than just the one assault I know happened) was with that same person, so now i’m extremely anxious about doing anything with the person i’m sort of maybe dating, even though neither of us are interested in just jumping right to physical intimacy, they’ve also experienced similar situations so they’re anxious about it too, and also they’re a nice person who i’d trust to not push it if i wasn’t comfortable with something, but idk how to say “i’m anxious about kissing you even though i like you and i want to kiss you bc the last person i kissed was the person who raped me over 4 years ago”

I’m working on finding a new therapist now that i’m done with my IOP and i know that’s going to be one of the (far too many) things i need to deal with in therapy, as well as all the other trauma from that summer, and from my previous university experience, and my whole fucking childhood, and also my other issues that aren’t necessarily trauma related, although most of them probably are to a certain extent bc being an undiagnosed audhd person who also doesn’t realize they’re trans until they’re an adult is inherently traumatic.

I don’t know if there’s any other big stuff I want to/feel like I need to say that’s been going on, not that anybody will probably read all or any of this. But yeah, a lot is going on, but also not much is actively going on. This was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Oops.

[higheldertala]

the timeless children salt commentary

the fact that master is really sexy in this but this is story he’s in keeps me humble. really being punished for being horny :/

once again ch*bnall can’t seem to write a two parter for the life of him and seems to only write two stories crammed together. okay so again as with spyfall the second part of this story takes a sharp turn in plot by becoming a gallifrey/ master story because god forbid the master can have a two part story of their own. i guess ch*bnall added the cybermen in when he realised he couldn’t drag out the timeless child plot into two parts idk.

why is called the timeless children and not just the timeless child? why is it plural? genuine question.

(co-moffat problem) so as of the centenary it’ll be the fourth master/ cyberman story we’ve had in six seasons (russell don’t even think about it) seriously what more is there to say??

why is the master back on gallifrey again? did he know about the doctor and the cybermen? was he just waiting for them? it seems like the master was expecting the doctor but how would he know? like the doctor is asking these questions but we don’t get any answers for them.

honestly i lose all respect for ryan as a companion here when he doesn’t immediately follow the doctor to gallifrey. who gives a shit what ko sharmus says? you’ve known this guy for two minutes. you’re her fucking companion where’s your sense of loyalty? show me one companion over the past 60 years that wouldn’t have immediately followed the doctor. the fam aren’t even fucking loyal to the doctor, pisses me off to no end.

not that’s it’s not an inadequate plan but how would they be able to dissemble the cybermen suits, get in them and then resemble them again that quickly. i presume time is of the essence and i guess that this is not an easy job.

‘i’m not too sure about weapons’ so this is suppose to be ‘character development’ for ryan, but god the line between pacifism and idiocy is very thin.

when the tenth doctor said ‘they can shoot me dead but the moral high ground is mine’ that was supposed to be comedic, here they take that idea very literally.

it’s funny that ch*bnall puts loads of classic references in only to tell jodie not to watch any doctor who, the end result is that the doctor doesn’t have any reaction to them, because jodie doesn’t know what the hell the script is going on about.

also how is jodie supposed to act against the master when she has no knowledge or context of their relationship? honestly ch*bnall set jodie up to fail on purpose istg.

sacha is too good of an actor (and sexy) to be given lines of dialogue this cringe. sacha deserves so much better.

hate how ch*bnall just straight up ignores that gallifrey should be in a pocket universe/ just doesn’t give any explanation around this.

‘never thrown by anything’ well no because then ch*bnall would actually have to write a personality for her wouldnt he?

‘always fighting’ when has yaz ever fought?

‘you said to the doc that you thought she was the best person you’d ever met, you know what yaz? i think you are’ im sorry but yaz has done nothing in the past two seasons to earn this kind of high praise. she contributes nothing but standing in the background and following the doctor like a lost puppy, she has never once saved the day on her own, she has never had to overcome any great challenges in her travels, she has never sacrificed anything or done anything of the sort. every single nuwho companion before her has done 100x more than she ever has. to say this is an insult to every companion before, including classic. i can’t believe ch*bnall wrote this unironically with his own two hands and goes on to further reiterate this point twice more in his era.

‘you’re never afraid and you’re never beaten’ yaz has never been in a situation where the possibility of being beaten was a possible outcome.

‘you’re doing the whole human race proud’ (see above point) also she’s a cop so i’ll dispute this.

‘you’re not such a bad human yourself’ who talks like this? you would say ‘you’re not such a bad person yourself’. but why would ever write a second draft of your script?

the lightning for the gallifrey scenes are awful, who decided the inside needed to be orange? and hazy smoke? awful, makes the image much harder to see clearly. inside scenes in gallifrey have often been quite brightly lit by the white interior in the past. the lighting in hell bent is 100x times better but it wouldn’t surprise me if they never even went back to hell bent for lighting references.

crying that timeless child plot come about because the master ‘finds it on accident in the matrix’.

‘i do believe you’re appealing to my better nature and we both know that i don’t have one’ at this point i do believe ch*bnall just hates missy.

my god i think this is the longest thirteen has gone without saying a line, a record!

the master says tecteun 13 times in the episode if you were wondering.

i don’t see how graham, yaz and co get off the ship in time, as you see the cyber ship cross the boundary straight away in the next shot.

the lighting is absolute dogshit in this episode, i just want to see the actors’ faces thank you.

i don’t really care about the cyberium. it’s just becomes another mcguffin thing. also i don’t see the impact of it really. i would believe that ashad had just come up with this plan on his own without the cyberium. and i don’t see the effect it has on the master, again i would believe that the master could come up with this plan on his own.

‘show us some leg’ im crying why does he say this?

hmm bets the cyberium is gonna be brought up in the centenary? before i would have said no, but now we know the cyber masters are back the jury is out.

‘the policy of the time lords is clear, strict non intervention in other worlds and times. however policy and reality sometimes diverge. there are times when it is necessary to intervene, that is the purpose of the division’ i have many questions about division and tecteun, not that they matter. they just end being generic secret organisation that want to take over the universe. but yeah the less ch*bnall tells the audience about division the less they’re gonna care about. like they did a bunch of things that the doctor was involved in a really long time ago. why do i as the audience care about that in context of the story that’s happening right now. it’s ultimately irrelevant and flux is just a mess so.

even with the division, the time lords have had the doctor do things and intervene on their behalf many times in classic who, this isn’t a new or unique concept so im not sure what ch*bnall was trying to add here.

the master projecting the images of ireland and brendan to the doctor is very random, especially because this isnt how the audience is shown this information. like it isn’t shown in anyway that the doctor is the one viewing these memories in the previous episode.

i have to say i don’t believe that the master could destroy and kill every single timelord on gallifrey, it’s just not realistic. especially since we’re never told how the master does this, and this is of course in good old ch*bnall fashion happens off screen. like compared to the doctor doing it, it’s happened during the time war so you can presume the time lords defences were quite limited/ stretched because of the daleks, also we know how the doctor does this through the moment (i mean this too is quite op but we’ll leave dotd discourse for another day). very annoying this isn’t explain also just really lazy writing. like at a push i would believe that the master may have killed the time lords in the citadel but even then i would like to know how. it’s not like the time lords wouldn’t keep an eye on the master. also he was kicked out of gallifrey as said in the doctor falls so like how did he get back in without being detected??

honestly i just choose to ignore this as canon.

the master creating a cyber army from the dead is like the same plot as death in heaven. please wake me up when ch*bnall has an original idea, oh wait his original is the timeless child okay i’ll go back to sleep.

the cyber masters’ design are god awful. where did they find the time to etch gallifreyian into the metalwork? and the capes, the frowny faces, what a joke. the ugliest design for the cybermen honestly.

also i feel like regenerating cybermen are op. and again a rip off idea of daleks having regenerating powers in the witch’s familiar and it was silly then too. someone needs to inform ch*bnall what plagiarism is. im surprised that rtd and moffat aren’t more annoyed at this, i certainly would be.

some much of ch*bnall’s writing is copying and pasting of other stories and writers. it’s annoying to see this as viewer and i can’t believe it would be nice as a writer to see your work being essentially plagiarised on national television. why didn’t anyone tell ch*bnall not to do this or that it’s a dick move, literally any repercussion to this whatsoever. like just out of sheer respect for the profession and your fellow writers in the industry you just wouldn’t do this. it’s in bad taste at a minimum and at worst straight up plagiarism. how can anyone say that this isn’t lazy writing?

is it bad i didn’t even notice we hadn’t seen the companions for like 10 minutes.

‘we’re going to find her and we’re going to rescue her. she’s done it for us enough times, now it’s our turn’ correct me if im wrong but they’ve only ever been rescued by the doctor once and that was yaz in nikola tesla’s night of terror. like the fam are never in any dangerous situations in that they need to be rescued.

also funny that fam don’t even ‘rescue’ her, she does it herself. don’t you love when the companions are completely redundant?

why are they stood in a line again? can’t wait til we get better directing again 😭

nice how they’re taking a stroll through gallifrey, why aren’t they running, you just said the doctor was in danger and needed your help but sure take your time, im sure time isn’t of the essence or anything.

‘have you ever been limited by who you were before?’ i made a post about this during flux but i’ll summarise it again, it’s really annoying how the climax of this episode is that it’s doesn’t matter that the doctor doesn’t know about their previous lives, because they know who they are right now and that’s all that matters (a fine message and all) but that makes the ttc revelation completely pointless because it doesn’t matter in-universe. that’s the worst part of ttc, it doesn’t change the doctor as a character, and it barely changes the narrative, so what was the point? changing the doctor’s origin is stupid and takes away the meaning of just an ordinary citizen rejecting their society in search of being a better person. that was an admirable aspiration for people to look up to. you don’t need to be special or deemed important to make a difference in life, anyone can strive to change life for the better. now the doctor is reduced to ✨the chosen one✨ and chosen one stories are a dime a dozen, there’s no reason doctor who needs to become one of these stories, it’s add nothing, literally in this case because ch*bnall doesn’t add anything further with the concept (maybe i’ll be wrong depending on what the centenary does but until then i can’t say anything more).

‘im talking to myself again,that’s a good sign’ is it?

using the theme tune within the episode is so bad and i hate it. was it that hard to compose another track, or why not just use the doctor’s theme?

not to point out the obvious but yeah you wouldn’t be able to ‘blow the matrix’ by using your memories because that’s the thing it’s designed to do. this logically doesn’t make sense.

convenient that the fam and co found the doctor without being spotted. like even if the master thought the fam were dead surely he’d put some guard on the doctor in case she tried something.

don’t understand the choice of somber music in this scene when the doctor wakes up.

‘no humans on gallifrey’ why does the doctor bring this up now? what relevance does it have? i don’t understand this doctor’s priorities at all.

it’s very convenient that these survivors know about the death particle and can tell us this now.

‘but i am so much more than you’ this was obvious before but yeah ch*bnall doesn’t understand the doctor and master’s relationship. and just not something the doctor would say, the complete u turn of 12 saying ‘she’s my friend.. she’s the only person that i’ve ever met who’s even remotely like me’.

seething that ch*bnall thinks he can rip off the second best scene of the show. absolute seething this man thinks he can ever touch or ever even come close to the ‘coward or killer scene’. i tolerate a lot of ch*bnall’s copy and paste bollocks, but i draw the line here.

let it be known that you don’t want to be anywhere near me if this man ever even tries to come close to ripping off the where i stand is where i fall speech.

also in context of ch*bnall’s bastardisation of this scene, the doctor doesn’t do it only to selfishly save herself, like nine doesn’t do it because he can’t bare to commit genocide again after the time war. these two things are not the same.

still hate how this doctor doesn’t give a shit about the master and so easily leaves him for dead.

also love how ch*bnall just ignores the rule that the tardis is suppose to be impenetrable, anything is allowed in the tardis these days though.

okay let’s wrap it up here. concluding thoughts, it’s bad lol. a very dull finale, lots of copy and pasting from other stories. as always the companions don’t do anything and even the doctor is pretty passive for the majority of the episode. the cybermen and master storyline feel weirdly meshed together, also no idea how the master knew about the boundary and cybermen and everything, this is literally not explained. the master just appears and joins the story halfway through. im not invested in the timeless child plotline, the story doesn’t give any motive as to why the audience should be invested. it’s honestly a waste of everyone’s time. most annoying is that ch*bnall himself knew that he would piss off the fandom but did it anyway. so sick of white men just trashing franchises for the sake of it and worst of all letting women take the fall for it.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I have just fallen deeply in love with Kim Rhodes. Don't let this get missed in the Dean's birthday swell. It's too good.

Kim performs as Jody to Claire, but anyone who's hurting now or in the future needs this pep talk. Watch this when you're ready to have feelings.

[windsource]

Heyyy suggestions to write for Jack's birthday: all 3 of his dads try to bake him a cake separatedly (maybe they're bickering about who would make the best cake maybe they just have communication issues as usual and no one knows who was in charge of the cake maybe they just think he deserves all the cakes maybe) and obviously the cakes turn out to be three completely chaotic catastrophes, but Jack loves them anyway😊💞

It started, as most competitions do between Sam and Dean, with a dare.

Because Jack’s last birthday cake had gone...”not the Best,” Dean declared the evening before Jack’s fourth birthday that this year’s cake would be better. Sam had scoffed, lightheartedly claimed he could have Dean beat with his eyes closed, and so the fun began after Dean took the jab a little too seriously. They’d both make a cake, and Jack could decide whose “won” after they were done.

What they didn’t know, however, was that Cas was making one too.

Sam had headed to Eileen’s place (which Dean claimed was cheating, since she would help), and Dean took to the Bunker’s kitchen. Which left Cas with no oven or materials, so he picks up his phone and dials Claire to get assistance.

“Uh...hi?” she asks, “What’s up, something happen?”

“No, I just...wanted to...um. Jody has a kitchen, yes?”

There’s a pause, but then Claire says, “Yeah, like most houses do. Why?”

“Can I come over?” 

He hears Claire mumble a, “Can Cas come visit?” over her shoulder, and then into the speaker, “Jody says yeah, but—”

“Great.” The line disconnects, and then Cas appears outside Jody’s front door, pushing his finger on the pad to ring the doorbell.

Claire still has her phone up to her ear when she lets him in, rolling her eyes to mask her smile. “Jesus. Could’ve at least told me you were gonna do that.”

“I apologize,” Cas says, and then urgently, “Where’s the kitchen?”

Claire points and closes the door behind him. “That way.”

He follows her directions and finds Jody leaning against the counter, arms crossed. Donna sits behind her at the kitchen table, sporting a playful smile.

“Well! Cas, long time no see,” Jody says, coming towards him to envelop him in a hug. “Claire mentioned you visiting, but I didn’t think it’d be so soon.”

Claire brushes past them, muttering, “Neither did I,” before taking a seat at the table next to Donna. 

“Sorry for bursting in on you like this,” Cas says once Jody lets go. “I just need to use your kitchen.”

Jody and Donna exchange a look. 

“Someone in trouble?” Donna asks, suddenly serious, “We have some spell ingredients, but not many. What’s—"

“No, nothing like that,” Cas hurries to say, “It’s Jack’s birthday today. I need to bake him a cake.”

There’s another stretch of silence, and then Claire’s laughter covered up by a hand to her mouth. Donna gently smacks her shoulder.

“Sorry,” she says, “but you? Eldritch terror...baking a cake? Why can’t Sam and Dean do it? Oh god, that thought might actually be funnier.”

Cas sighs as Donna mumbles to reprimand Claire, and takes a seat beside Jody on the island. 

“You’re right, it’s just...Sam and Dean are both competing to make Jack a cake for his birthday today, and I felt I should do the same, but I...I’ve never done this before. I need help.”

Jody smiles, despite Claire’s fading laugh, and rests a hand on his shoulder. “Well, Cas. You came to the right place. Come on.” 

She grabs the keys from a hook next to one of the kitchen cabinets, and swipes her coat from the chair next to Cas. 

“Where are we going?” he asks, standing and following nonetheless. Claire flicks his shoulder as she passes to head for the front door. 

“Grocery store, genius,” she says, and before he knows it, the four of them are cramped in Donna’s much too small car, with Cas wondering how they manage it with Patience and Alex and Kaia as well.

“Where are they, anyway?” he asks once they make it to the store parking lot. 

“Alex is working, Patience is out with friends, and Kaia’s home sleeping,” Claire explains. “What about Jack?”

“With Garth until the cakes are done,” Cas says easily. He’d been their first choice for babysitter, not wanting to bother Jody and Donna when they had all the girls on their hands, but... “Maybe next time, he can hang out with you? I’d like for him to get to know you better,” Cas tries, pushing around the shopping cart as Jody points out ingredients and Donna sets them in the cart, “he really looks up to you.”

Claire scoffs. “He barely knows me. Besides, there’s nothing to look up to. Except height-wise, I guees.”

Cas smiles fondly at her, reminded of Dean telling him something similar plenty of times. “Sure there is, but I won’t push it. You’re welcome at the Bunker always, just...incase you were wondering.”

She grins, but hides it well. “Thanks.”

The trip goes by quickly, after they decide on how Cas wants to decorate the cake, and they all make it back to Jody’s in one piece. 

The actual mixing of ingredients if easy enough (though Claire ends up brushing flour out of Cas’ hair), but the waiting periods are atrocious. Cas spends them by catching up with Claire and Kaia, when she eventually wakes, and it seems like no time at all once the timer beeps. 

They pull it out of the oven, wait impatiently again for it to cool, and by that time Patience is home from visiting friends. The six of them work on the frosting and decorations (although Cas insists on doing the lettering himself), and Alex’s steady hand arrives just in time to slide the cake into a box so that it’s safe and preserved for Jack’s birthday tomorrow. 

By the time it’s all done, Cas is thoroughly enjoying himself, and the company the girls all provided him with. He bids them goodbye, each with a powerful hug that makes him smile, but Claire stops him just before he’s out the door.

“You’re forgetting this,” she says, handing him a yellow envelope. It has ‘Jack’ written across the front in boxy blue lettering that he knows to be Claire’s. Cas takes it, and Claire pushes her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

“Snagged it while we were at the store...we uh, we all signed it,” she says. “I’m...looking forward to coming over, if the offer still stands.”

Cas nods, a grateful smile spreading across his lips. “Always.” 

Claire rolls her eyes, but nudges Cas’ shoulder in good humor. “Good. Now go win that contest, you goober.”

Of the three, Cas’ cake is the most put together, but that isn’t saying much. Dean’s at least stands up by itself (unlike last year’s), but he’d tried for three different flavors and way too many sprinkles, so it’d tasted a little like mush. Sam’s was decorated beautifully with blue and yellow, but caved in a bit in the middle. He’d tried a “healthy” recipe that unfortunately was flavorless, but Jack ate them both with a toothy grin on his face. 

Cas’ was a labor of love, a product of multiple hands with perhaps too much decoration going on and way too many colors, but it was edible at least, and they end up eating that one more so than the others.

“So who wins?” Dean asks Jack, shoveling Cas’ cake in his mouth with only a slightly annoyed look on his face.

Jack spreads his arms wide and says, “Everyone! I love them all!” before loudly blowing his party popper.

The three of them hug their kid, press kisses to the top of his head and say, “We love you too, buddy.” 

And they all truly do. 

[dickspeightjrs]

New Year’s Eve (au / 1.6k words / parent!destiel)

ao3 link

Ten years ago, Dean would never have dreamed of being at home on New Year’s Eve. But now? He couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.

Taking in the sight in front of him, he wouldn’t change a thing.

The TV was playing quietly with the sounds of the DVD menu repeating itself. He could feel the warm weight of a small body relaxed against him.

Looking down he could see the blond wisps of hair on his daughter’s head. The three-year-old had been determined to stay awake until midnight like everyone else but it seemed she’d been defeated by the sleep monster (which surprised absolutely no one).

Dean reached out a careful hand, making sure not to jostle Emma in her slumber, to grab her Frozen blanket from her lap and wrap it around her shoulders.

Another hand reached across to help secure the wrapping. Dean allowed the comforting hand to brush against his and looked up to meet his husband’s eye.

“So much for her wanting to stay awake like a big girl.” Blue eyes lit up with a chuckle.

Dean snorted. “Yeah. Guess she must have crashed out after the second load of candy and Tangled.”

“Though, to be fair,” Castiel said, eying the clock on the wall above the fireplace, “it’s only fifteen minutes until midnight, so she was close.”

“Hm,” Dean agreed. “She’ll have to try for a new record next year.”

Castiel chuckled, a small smile gracing his features. Dean let himself get lost in it for a moment.

He wasn’t usually one to be overly sentimental (he left that to his brother Sammy) but looking at his husband in the dim light of their living room, Dean couldn’t help but be grateful to whoever looked down on them that he got another year with the man.

Dean hadn’t been joking when he thought about how he used to spend his New Years Eve. The Dean before he met Cas was one that he now couldn’t believe ever existed.

His childhood wasn’t the happiest, which resulted in Dean searching for that happiness in other places. As a teenager, and into his twenties, Dean found himself stumbling in and out of bars with an endless stream of black eyes and bed partners.

But then he’d met Cas – who had just graduated from college – and everything changed.

“What are you thinking about?” Castiel asked, softly, bringing Dean back to the moment.

“Just how much I love you.” Dean hummed.

Castiel scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Okay, Mr Sentimental, I think it’s time for bed for you too.”

Dean was ready with a retort about how being a little romantic wasn’t because he was tired, but a yawn fought its way up through his throat instead, rendering his point useless.

Castiel levelled Dean with an arched eyebrow, which Dean knew all too well meant I told you so.

“Okay, fine,” Dean relented. “Let’s head to bed. You tidy up the movie snacks in here and I’ll take Em upstairs. Meet you up there in five?”

His husband nodded in agreement and placed a soft kiss on their daughter’s head as Dean scooped her carefully into his arms – keeping the blanket cocoon firmly in place around her.

Walking through the house to the bottom of the stairs, Dean holds Emma firmly but lovingly in his arms.

She was another addition to his life that he’d never seen coming.

After raising his brother, Dean had sworn off having children of his own. Not that it was Sam’s fault, that kid turned out great, but Dean had had parenthood forced upon him once. There was no way he was going to voluntarily choose it again.

Even his developing relationship with Castiel wasn’t going to change it.

That was until Dean had attended a particularly bad call at work.

He had followed his secret dream of becoming a firefighter once Castiel had managed to needle it out of him (perceptive bastard). To start with, most calls had been pretty average with the occasional major job thrown in.

But this call had been the worst Dean had ever attended.

Some guys had hijacked a lorry and taken it for a joyride, only stopping when they eventually collided with an on-coming car in the other lane.

The sole survivor of the entire wreck was a little baby girl, trapped but ultimately unhurt in the backseat of the car.

It had been Dean’s job to monitor her as the others worked to cut open the car to get to her safely.

In those moments, Dean fell in love with the little girl. Despite the environment surrounding her, she didn’t cry. Instead, she spent the whole time with her tiny fist grasped around Dean’s finger and staring up at him with the biggest blue eyes he’d ever seen – ones that reminded him of Castiel.

Eventually, after safely retrieving her from the wreckage, Dean held her close as he allowed the paramedics check her over. Dean had let out a sigh of relief when they said it didn’t seem that she’d sustained any injuries, but they’d decided to take her to the hospital for a full check up anyway.

Staying with her in the ambulance, Dean kept his firm hold on her as she finally cried from sheer exhaustion. He rocked her gently from side-to-side, cautious that she still hadn’t been given the all-clear.

She soon settled and the paramedic, Jody, who Dean had worked with on a few occasions, made a quip about him being the baby whisperer. Dean just chuckled and looked down at the now sleeping baby and felt himself reconsider his stance on having children of his own.

Upon reaching the hospital, Dean was met by a police officer and some lady who worked for children’s services.

It turned out that the little girl’s parents didn’t have any relatives that were capable of taking her into their care. She was going to be fostered with the intention of being adopted.

Dean’s heart broke for her. He knew what it was like to have a disrupted childhood and he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

He reluctantly handed her over to the children’s services lady, his finger feeling cold without the warm, tiny touch of the baby’s hand wrapped around it.

That night, Dean recounted the events of the day to Castiel as they lay in bed together. Into the curve of Castiel’s neck, he whispered the thoughts that had been plaguing him since he’d left the hospital. The admittedly absurd idea, hope, that Dean could keep her himself. Dean couldn’t even look his new husband in the eye, knowing how stupid the idea was.

But, as always, Castiel had been the voice of logic and reason and he’d replied in an equally soft whisper that it wasn’t stupid or absurd and you never know if you don’t try.

And so, it began. The long, almost painful, process of bringing her home with them. It had taken a little while for anyone to actually them seriously but soon they knew that Dean would give anything to give the little girl, whose name turned out to be Emma – the most beautiful name Dean was sure he’d ever heard, the childhood and life she deserved. The one that he never got to have.

It was almost Emma’s first birthday by the time Dean carried her into their home for the first time as their daughter. Castiel immediately framing the adoption certificate and displaying it proudly on the mantel.

Fireworks brought Dean out of his wistful musings. Emma stirred a little in his arms and he realised what the fireworks meant; it was midnight! The new year had begun.

Realising there was something he forgot to do, Dean cradled Emma tightly to his chest and turned on his heel to dash away from the stairs and instead towards the kitchen.

Castiel looked up from the dishes he was putting away with a face filled with confusion.

“Dean? Is everything ok-“ Castiel was cut off by Dean’s lips on his.

“I almost missed our New Years’ kiss.” Dean explained as he pulled away.

Castiel let out a breath of laughter. “We’ve been together for six years; I think it’s okay not to have a New Years’ kiss every year.” He said, moving into Dean’s space, encasing Emma between them.

“Nope! Not happening. Sorry, Cas. You’re stuck with giving me a New Years’ kiss every year for the rest of our lives.” Dean laughed, leaning in to give his husband an over-exaggerated kiss on the cheek.

The movement jostled their sleeping daughter and she blinked awake, rubbing at her eyes. She made a disgruntled noise at being woken up from her otherwise perfect sleep.

“Oh, hello there, sleepyhead!” Castiel grinned down at her.

Emma frowned in response. “I didn’t fall asleep! I stayed awake the whole time!”

Dean chuckled, bouncing his pouting daughter in his arms, “Sure kiddo, whatever you say,” he grinned. “But awake or not, you’re definitely going to sleep now. Say goodnight to Daddy.”

“Night, night, Daddy,” Emma yawned as she waved at Castiel.

“Goodnight, Sweet Pea,” Castiel replied, leaning over to give her a kiss on the head again.

Before Castiel could get too far away, Dean swooped in to place another kiss on his lips.

“I’ll meet you in bed.” Dean winked over Emma’s head.

Castiel shook his head affectionately in response.

They both knew that in all reality they’d be asleep before their heads hit the pillow. Leaving the new year to creep in while they are curled up together.

And Dean wouldn’t have it any other way.

-

A/N: My first fic posted in nearly two months! Hope you enjoyed :)

Please REBLOG if you liked it.

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TAGS: @manicpixiedreamcas @starrynightdeancas @credentiast @imbiowaresbitch @dreamnovak @cockleslovesdestiel @bend-me-shape-me @destielfactory @dea-stiel @wendeano @wingsandimpalas @aggressivedean @heller-jensen @chill-legilimens @ccstiel @caslikescoffeeandfreckles @assbuttboyfriends @breathingdestiel @simplymisha

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[jessicatates]

(original post)

@fatimagic: it's definitely one of the aspects of the show that i think hasn't aged particularly well (though nothing is ever going to get as high on the "aged like milk" meter as the bl*ckface plot point omg. my jaw DROPPED when i first saw it, and not in a good way. at least danny undercover in y*llowface is only one scene yikes). i just feel like even jessica (who katherine helmond always made a point of showing wasn't as "stupid" as people assumed she was) would look at this situation and be like...this is suspicious lol. i don't believe for a second that the same jessica who just proven herself to be done with chester's bs AND known about his cheating all along, would fall for el puerco's rules. as batshit as it was, stuff like the alien storyline worked because people reacted in character. jessica is acting way too ooc for me to take seriously. and yes, i know how the show ends, jessica and jodie deserved better. 

*ruse not rules lol sorry for rambling but literally no one else on this site is talking about this show and i have a lot of (mostly positive) feelings about it. burt and mary are unironically relationship goals. i wasn't expecting such a sweet, mutually supportive couple to come from this satire show.

Now worries! Soap is so underrated on Tumblr and just in general so I’m always down to chat about it and hear other people’s thoughts. :)

Burt and Mary are for sure my favourite couple on the show. The two actors play off of each other so well and their love for each other is very believable and sweet to watch. Even in the handful of storylines where things are rough for them the scenes where they get back together are so wonderfully done. Along with all of the other cliffhangers that we’re left with, the way their story ends is another reason that I have a hard time rewatching the end of season 4.

[barren-heart]

If you’re Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, or Jared Padalecki.

STOP.

Read this post.

Dear J2M,

This is an open letter for you three written by a couple of unhappy passionate fans.

We write this to you because we know at least one of you has a secret Stan account and creeps on the destiel hashtag from time to time. Don’t lie. (Ahem. Misha Collins. Looking at you, Sir.)

With the subtle hints and possibility of a revival, us here at BarrenHeart (Bee and Jay) have some thoughts on what we think a reboot/continuation/revival would look like if it was done well.

Note: we don’t speak for the whole fandom(obviously). And we don’t even speak for all of the Cas/destiel fans. This is from our observation of the fandom after 15x18 and the finale, plus our own opinions.

Here are our demands suggestions for the potential revival.

--Castiel--

First things first. Castiel is brought back.

And by that, we mean he is either shown to be rescued from the empty, Jack rescues him from the empty, or by some other means, that man is not left there to suffer for all of eternity.

Castiel is a lead character.

Not a guest star, not “and Misha Collins.” No. Misha Collins gets to be in every d*mn episode. He is an equal lead alongside Dean and Sam. Which leads into the next point.

Castiel gets his own storyline.

It can be connected to Dean in some way, but he needs his own arc, y’all. Don't care what that is, but he IS his own character. So, some form of personal growth or whatever needs to happen. He is a badass and deserves a good storyline. Also…

Give this M-- F-- (mother father) his wings back!

Yes, he died without ever having his wings return to their full power. Like? We know he was nerfed so he wouldn't overpower Sam and Dean. Prove to us that he can be a fully powered badass and still work alongside Sam and Dean. No need to get rid of that.

Human!Cas does not mean pathetic Cas.

There is a divide on whether Castiel should stay an angel. Personally, we like human Cas. However, human Cas was shafted in the series. If you make him human in any way, shape, or form, he’s gonna still have to be a badass. Don’t whimp him!

He can be a good hunter/pretend FBI agent just like Sam and Dean!

So, make him one! Let him do more cases. On his own. With other people. With Sam. With Dean. He can fight without powers, too.

Give him love!

For the love of freaking Jack, let that man know he is loved by people. Not even mentioning anything romantic, he still needs platonic love y’all. Let Sam say it, let Jack say it. Let anyone in his family tell him that he is loved. Not once in this series did Cas hear that anyone loved him. So, fix it!

New style, anyone?

Cas needs other clothes! Please now. The black trenchcoat we never saw in-show? Boss. Cas in a black leather jacket? Coolness. Hunter plaid? Do it.

Confession Resolution

Speaking of love, come to some conclusion please about him and Dean. Give a resolution somehow, somewhere. We personally don’t really care how it’s done, but there needs to be something said here. You cannot just drop a confession there and just leave like it never happened. So, talk about it.

Adding this, I swear, if this is bros only, you WILL lose Cas fans. So, think about what you’re doing.

--Sam--

Sam is important!

Now, personally we have a soft spot for Sam. His character arc in Season 1-5 was great. Demon blood, powerful Sam was amazing. So, don’t sideline Sam. Seriously. We are gonna say in an unpopular way (as if this post isn’t already unpopular to some), but Sam got sidelined real hard in the last few seasons of the show. Now, was that what Jared wanted? Don’t know. But, Sam needs his own storyline too that isn’t just revolved around Dean. Figure it out.

Witch!Sam

Speaking of which, let this man be powerful. Sam is best when he has powers. Sorry but also not. He has been given all of Rowena’s (who is arguably the best witch around) spell books and decides to not really do much with it? No. He’s becoming a BAMF witch. Full-out, no word spells and shit. End point.

Sam in Charge

He’s not just a baby brother. He’s a grown man. Give him room to grow. Allow him to be a leader. Let him lead a group of hunters, witches, a whole team of people! He’s strong on his own, too. He's a big boy. Prove it.

He should fall in love.

Like, get married and all that. It’s a part of his arc, so keep it there. No blurry wife, my god! Personally it should be Eileen. She’s a badass. They also have a lot in common! Holy hell. They make a good team. So, keep that suggestion in mind.

Let him have the hero’s journey.

We want a good ending that shows growth for this character! He saw himself as a freak with powers, so…maybe he can use his powers now in a way that in empowering instead? Let him have an ending that doesn't just return to the beginning. Let him have gone through all of this changed for the better.

Don't be creepy.

Still keep the brotherly bond with Dean, but don’t make it weird, y’all. Don’t. Please.

Sam as a dad.

He can have a kid. But, Dean Jr? Eh. You might want to reconsider some other (Bobby) possibilities.

--Dean--

Now, with Dean, I wanna make this clear.

DO NOT K word THIS MAN.

This man here has dealt with unbelievable trauma, suicidal thoughts and even almost died by suicide in the show (okay, it was for another reason, but still!) He dies way too many times in this show. It’s not new anymore. Perhaps, when the show was newer, death might have been a bittersweet ending. But, now. It’s tarnished. It happened too much and the message of “carry on” got tainted to mean “there is only peace when you die.” That’s not okay.

Resolve his issues!

He has so much pain and trauma. Let him seek help. Let your audience know that it’s okay to process these emotions. Let him heal. He deserves it.

Dean’s internal struggles

This is piggybacking a little off of point two, but Dean has a lot of things he needs to figure out. We feel like his journey is more internal. While processing his trauma, he needs to learn that it's okay to be himself. This could include things about himself that he feels ashamed of or scared to admit. Things he may have repressed or suppressed over time. No more hiding who he is or brushing it off or making jokes. Be your true self, Dean. It's time.

Dean’s still important, of course

That said, Dean should still be integral to the overall narrative of the plot. Of course he's gonna go head to head with the Big Bad of the season/limited series, but he really should focus on what's inside first before he can take this monster down.

The Bro bond

No more dependent/unhealthy bond with Sam. Of course they are family and brothers, and will always be close. That's perfectly fine. However, its important to note that Dean was Sam’s mom/Dad most of his whole life. And, well, that never came to a resolution. Please let Dean resolve this issue. Sam is grown and older now, and even though Dean will always feel protective of him as his Big brother, Dean shouldn't feel like his life only revolves around taking care of Sam. There is more to Dean and his life.

Dean is complex

Also, Dean is not only about cars, burgers, and pie. It's like some of the writers forgot this. There are so many things/interests of Dean’s that are really cool and add to the complexity of his character. Keep those things.

He needs to resolve his issue with Jack.

He never said sorry to the kid. Not once after telling Sam that Jack wasn't family. He needs to tell Jack he is loved.

Speaking of which, Dean needs to tell Cas he loves him.

Okay. Who knows if you will make destiel reciprocal at this point.

Do we think Dean would have reciprocated based on context clues and what we have seen in the show? Yes.

Do we think this love is romantic? Yes.

Do we think you'll actually fully make it canon in a reboot/continuation? Eh.

Regardless, Dean loves Cas, so make it known.

Other demands considerations.

‘The found family’ needs to not be forgotten.

All the friends that were made along the way need to be included. What happened with Garth was great, actually. Do more of that. And by that, we mean include Jody and Donna. What are the girls doing now? Wayward sisters anyone? Bring Kevin back. Don't leave him to roam the earth all along like that. Either make him human again like Eileen or send him to rest in Heaven.

Where’s Eileen?

Hello??? Where? Tell us she made it back.

Claire

No idea if you can get Kathryn Newton back, but it would be cool at least for one episode. Please. Kaia? Resolve her storyline.

Also, Charlie.

Wtf happened? That was not resolved. We love Felicia Day. Charlie’s friendship with Dean is amazing. She deserves a few episodes.

Crowley!

Seriously. What happened to Mark was super disappointing. You gotta bring him back. His death wasn't great. Bring him back and give him his damn line already!

Jack!

I'm not fully on the Baby!Jack train, but he does deserve a normal life. He's three years old technically. He had no normal life whatsoever. He deserves that. So, give him that.

More Rowena please!

That's it. She's awesome.

Have a wedding.

No, really. Someone's gotta get married. Our pick: Sam and Eileen. Charlie is also a good contender for having a wedding with her partner, too. So there. Weddings are happy. We want a happy ending.

I will reiterate. Team free will lives. That's it.

Okay. Now, moving on to the next part of this. The elephant in the room. The thing a lot of us actually want from this, but frankly, we aren't sure if you'll do it.

Explicit Destiel.

If you've read this far J2M, then you're probably wondering when this was going to be addressed. So, here are the stipulations on destiel.

Go big or go home.

Yep. We said it. Make it explicit, full out, no ambiguity.

Honestly, you might be thinking what you could do to make it explicitly canon? Well, since there were tons of people who still think Cas’ love confession was just a platonic exchange between two bros (like wtf? How?), you're gonna have to spell it out for people.

But, some things that we may perceive as romantic, some people may not.

--Like, holding hands could be considered platonic between two men to some people.

--Cheek kissing could also be considered platonic to some people.

Not to say we need Jensen and Misha doing full on *** scenes to prove anything, but something more than a hand hold. Okay? Okay.

What we’re saying is basically, you're gonna have to kiss. On the lips. Yep.

So...I guess you'll have to figure out how you want to do that.

On when to make it canon:

You can decide if it makes sense to make it canon towards the beginning or towards the end. Honestly, there could be an argument for either. If it's made canon earlier, you could prove there can be a relationship alongside the main storyline. If you wait until the end, you'll leave fans wondering if you'll actually do it. But, the kiss being the major event of the finale could be worth it. Whichever you do, remember there are upsides and downsides to both.

Other other considerations:

Just realize who your fanbase is now. We’ve grown and changed. Like Becky, your fans have gone through a huge change in what they want from the show. Is the fandom all on the same page? Nope. Will they ever be? No.

You will not please everyone. That's a given. But, a lot of fans want to see the show wrap up in a better way than what we got. Destiel fans aside, the finale was not great overall. There are plenty of negative finale reviews that have nothing to do with destiel.

On top of that, society is changing. Slowly. The attitudes in regards to lgbtq media is quite different than before. You have the chance to make history. Really. If you make this canon, that will be a part of your legacy. You'll hit the news. I mean, 15x18 wasn't even the finale and it trended #1 that day.

We suggest that if you do decide to make it canon, it’s meaningful and you take the time to do it right.

So, consider your fans. Consider the part of the fandom that trended your show over the election. Consider the fans that trended a fictional wedding on Valentine's Day. Consider Misha/Cas fans who felt slighted. Consider your LGBTQA + fans. Just, think about what the reboot could achieve. What it could mean to a lot of people.

As always, we just want happiness and peace when we are done.

Thanks for reading Misha J2M.

Sincerely,

Bee 🐝 and Jay 🐦

[gffa]

Hi Lumi, thanks for not turning off anons yet, I've wanted to message you for months but I am crippling shy and couldn't bring myself to do it off-anon, haha. I just wanted to ask, do you read any of the Star Wars comics? If so, can you recommend any? I am new to the fandom after The Mandalorian and I really want more Darth Vader content, if you have any recs I'd be very grateful! I love your blog and literally every piece of content you post! Thanks Lumi!

Hi!  I’m glad that I left anon on just for this then!  I do indeed read a lot of the Star Wars comics, though, I go in fits and starts with them, like a lot of people do. 😂 My recommendations are: - Star Wars 2015 (by Jason Aaron) + Darth Vader 2015 (by Kieron Gillen) - I put these two together because the first 6 or so issues are meant to be read concurrently, they’re events crossing over into each other and showing different aspects from different points of view, and I think it really helps to enrich both stories if you’re alternating between the two for at least six issues. Beyond that, they’re both just really, really solidly good comics!  They’re set just post-ANH, where Luke is discovering more about being a Jedi, where we see Vader discovering the identity of the pilot who took out the Death Star, where Leia is dealing with the political stuff of the galaxy, etc.  They’re probably still some of the best comics that SW has put out, imo! - Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith 2017 (by Charles Soule) - This is the second Darth Vader comic series (so pay attention to who the author is--the current ongoing one is by Greg Pak, which is solidly good, but hasn’t yet hit the same heights as either of these, for me) and it’s set in the aftermath of Revenge of the Sith and this is easily my favorite SW comic.  Soule really digs into the connection between Anakin and Vader, how they are very much the same person, how the first volume of Darth Vader comics is about who Vader is during the OT, the Soule one is about flaying him open to understand just how he cannot face what he’s doing or the other choices he could have made. It’s over the top drama (it’s SO DRAMATIC and I LOVE IT) in a way that really highlights just how awful Anakin has become, that he is crushing even more of himself and you can see him losing still yet more and more, eventually leading to something like the OT version we know from later. - Obi-Wan & Anakin by Charles Soule - This is only five issues, as well as I generally recommend reading it two or three times, because Soule is actually pretty solid about not always spoon-feeding you everything and how the narrative arcs and parallels are more subtle than you’d expect from Star Wars.  The art in this one is stunning, the worldbuilding has a ton of cool details, you get to see bb!Anakin considering leaving the Jedi Order and why he decides to stay, as well as some really fascinating connections to how the Jedi see the galaxy and how Anakin sees it. - Age of Republic by Jody Houser - There are eight issues of this maxi series, each one focusing on a different character, and they’re all really interesting and have some amazing character moments.  My favorites are the Obi-Wan and Anakin ones, there’s a lot you really get to see about their relationship and how supportive it actually is, but all of them have really great looks at the characters they’re focusing on. - Jedi of the Republic: Mace Windu by Matt Owens - Okay, fair warning, the art for this series is not going to be for everyone, there are some seriously wonky panels in it, but the story itself is a great look at Mace’s character.  Both for the bits of backstory about him and for about how the Jedi look at the galaxy, that Mace Windu is such a rich, wonderful character and deserved a look at him like this.  Bonus, Kit Fisto is hilarious in this comic! - Star Wars Adventures by multiple authors - Basically anything in the Adventures line is worth reading!  Most of them are fairly light stuff, not super deep, they’re meant to be cute stories, but I’ve enjoyed all of the ones I’ve read and the prequels ones usually have some moment that’s completely batshit in a way that’s totally true to Star Wars.  They’re kid-focused comics, but really, really adorable ones. - Clone Wars Battle Tales by Michael Moreci - Speaking of dramatic fun, this mini series is just an absolute scream, they’re totally ridiculous in the way that I would read a hundred issues of them.  Plus, you get some really great Jedi moments or Anakin hilarity moments and I’m always down for that, too. - Kanan: The Last Padawan by Greg Weisman - Speaking of gorgeous art!  Never will you see a woman as beautiful as Depa Billaba in this comic, my goodness.  But you also get the story of bb!Caleb going through Order 66 and the trauma of running in the galaxy as a former Padawan who had their Master gunned down in front of them and, boy, did this comic know how to make it hurt.  There’s some cool worldbuilding in there, some amazing looks at the Jedi pre-Order 66, and just a whole lot of feelings. - Shattered Empire by Greg Rucka - This is a four-issue mini-series with a) gorgeous art and b) a whole lot of connective tissue/aftermath for the galaxy post-Return of the Jedi.  Rucka’s writing is solid here and you get a good variety of different characters and the paths they’re starting down and what they’re planning to do next, and it’s just a very solid read. - Poe Dameron by Charles Soule - I really didn’t expect to love this comic as much as I did, but Soule really knocked it out of the park and created a funny, moving, interesting journey for the character.  Even if Poe’s not your usual fave, the work this comic put into being interesting and connecting various things and telling a fun, actiony story really was good. - Age of Rebellion and Age of Resistance are both solid mini-series that I would definitely recommend!  My heart beats for the prequels, so I’m more focused on those, but if you’re interested, these are great looks at individual characters, too. HONORABLE MENTIONS: - The Princess Leia comic by Mark Waid is one I haven’t reread in awhile but I remember greatly enjoying it.  I’ve enjoyed Soule’s current 2020 Star Wars ongoing comic, though, because of the pandemic, it hasn’t had a chance to get a ton of issues out yet. I enjoyed the Darth Maul mini series by Cullen Bunn and, if you wind up liking Aphra from the first Vader comic, she gets her own spin off comic that’s really solid, too!

[gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat]

You are my home💚💙

Happy Valentine’s Destiel Wedding Day everyone!

Part 2 of my Destiel wedding series.

Click here for the masterpost.

Thanks @bonchickabelle for your support

~2,8k words

“Are you nervous?” Sam teased Dean, who stood in front of the mirror, tugging his tie straight. He thought about it for a moment “Excited? Sure, can’t wait to see Cas again after you forced us to spend last night apart for some stupid tradition. Nervous? No. It’s Cas I’m marrying.” Sam smiled knowingly, already half out the door. “I’m very happy for you two!” Alone again, Dean’s eyes drifted back to the mirror and he placed his hand on his shoulder, right over Cas’ handprint. He meant what he had said to Sam. It had been the first night they had been apart since he got Cas back and he barely slept. He had just felt wrong without hearing Cas’ gentle breaths, without being able to wrap his arms around the former angel and without feeling the weight of Cas’ head on his chest. But was he nervous? Not at all. He was almost surprised at how calm he felt. He’d never been this sure about anything in his life. After today, he would never have to spend another night without Cas.

Everything was perfect. Everyone they knew had insisted on helping with the wedding in one way or another. Sam wanted to officiate them, he got his license as soon as he heard the happy news. Eileen had taken the grooms separately to shop for wedding suits, Jack had promised them a warm, sunny day and handmade the invitations with Claire. Jody and Donna had baked their wedding cake, Ellen and Jo contributed a dozen homemade pies, Bobby took care of the bar and the catering. Garth and Bess promised to capture the whole day on their cameras. Gabe offered to be their DJ and Ash took care of all the technical stuff. Rowena had promised them truly magical fireworks at night, while Crowley and Benny were in charge of the security, although that shouldn’t be necessary ever since Jack became god.

Charlie and Dorothy had not only offered their vast, beautiful property as their wedding venue, they had also taken care of the decorations. The ceremony was set to take place on the Southern side of their house. An aisle led through rows of white chairs up to a little lake in front of which they had placed a rectangular wooden arc, decorated with greenery and big white flowers that stood out brightly against the blue water in the background. The Western side of the house was already equipped with a big dance floor around which tables, a big buffet and a bar had been set up. To top it all off, Charly and Dorothy had hanged fairy lights in every single tree on their property, which would create a magical atmosphere at night.

Lost in thoughts, Dean adjusted the flower on his lapel and smiled at the mirror. He never thought that he – Dean fucking Winchester – would ever get married. And yet here he was. His phone buzzed and his smile became even wider as he saw who texted him.

[Cas 10:34] Dean?

[Dean 10:35] What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now😉

[Cas 10:37] No, my feet are perfectly fine, why would they be cold?

Dean rolled his eyes, amused at his fiancé’s confusion.

[Dean 10:37] Not literally, that’s an expression for someone who has second thoughts on their wedding day. What’s going on?

[Cas 10:38] Oh. I see. I’m nervous that I might act weird because I don’t know all wedding customs. So I wanted to ask if you could maybe help me out when I’m about to make a fool out of myself.

[Dean 10:39] Sure thing, sunshine, but don’t worry about acting right, it’s your wedding day, all you have to do is enjoy it. And everybody here knows you’re a little weird😉

Without a knock, Charlie barged in. “What’s up bitch, you ready? Cause your fiancé is and he’s smokin’ hot.” She winked as she noticed Dean’s blushing cheeks. “Yeah, I’m ready. Where’s Bobby?” “Already waiting downstairs for you. I have to go, see you in a few”.  As quick as she had come, she disappeared again. Dean took another glance at the mirror to make sure everything was perfect before he left the room.

Downstairs Bobby and Ellen were laughing over a glass of scotch. When Bobby noticed Dean, he smiled and reached up to adjust his baseball cap, scoffing when he realized that he didn’t wear one today. “Lookin’ good” he grumbled. Ellen gave Bobby a quick peck on his cheek and winked at Dean as she went to take a seat. “I’m glad ya two idjits finally got the sticks out of your asses. Took ya long enough.” Dean chuckled nervously, his cheeks turning red again. “Thanks Bobby. Truth is I still don’t know how I got this lucky.” “Well, ya really deserve this, ya know? You’re a good man. He’s lucky to be with you. And I like him. Never seen you this happy.” After a pause he added “I’m very proud of you son.” Fumbling with the empty glass Ellen had left behind on the table in front of him, Dean replied “Bobby... Thank you. You’ve always been a father for me, unlike John, who... Anyways, thank you. For everything.” Dean swallowed, unable to put his love and gratitude for this man into words, but as he looked up at Bobby’s face, he caught him wiping over suspiciously wet eyes. “Idjit” he grunted, pulling Dean into a bone crushing hug. He nodded at the clock. “Ya ready? We gotta go.” “Ready” Dean replied, and he meant it. He was more than ready for this.

Or maybe he wasn’t. He was more than ready to marry Cas, but he wasn’t prepared for the sight of all his loved ones in one place, alive – thanks to Jack – gathered to celebrate with him. He always thought the only occasion where they’d all come together would be for his funeral, and he didn’t even expect that since most of them had been dead until a few months ago. Grateful and touched to see how many people where there because they loved him and Cas, Dean fought back some tears. While Garth’s kids waddled down the aisle, scattering white rose petals, Bobby squeezed Dean’s arm, as if he could sense all those thoughts whirling in his head. Dean nodded, linked their arms and let Bobby lead him down the aisle where Sammy already waited with a big grin and an even bigger stack of notes for his speech.

Back in the house, Charly gave Cas an encouraging smile and handed him a gorgeous bouquet of white and yellow flowers. “Thank you for leading me down the aisle, I was made aware that that would usually be the responsibility of one’s father...” “There’s nothing usual about this wedding..” Charly teased him. “Besides, you’ve been my bestie ever since we first met, of course I’m gonna walk you down the aisle!” She linked their arms. “Ready?” Cas nodded. “Ready...” Leaning in, he added with a proud smirk “...bestie”. The doors swung open and they stepped outside.

All heads turned around to see Cas, but he didn’t even notice. He was completely captivated by the sight of his fiancé, who let out a little gasp before breaking into a wide smile. His eyes made those cute crinkles that Cas loved so much and as he came closer, he could see a tear roll over Dean’s check. Usually, although Dean had become way more relaxed over the last months, Cas could always sense a lingering alertness in him. But now... he seemed completely at peace. Cas quickly blinked away some tears. He didn’t want anything to cloud his vision, he needed to preserve this image in his mind. His navy-blue suit combined with a simple black tie and a white flower on the lapel suited Dean incredibly well. He was beautiful and Cas’ heart skipped a beat at the thought that it was him who caused the pure adoration and happiness on Dean’s face.

Charlie led Cas towards him with excruciatingly slow steps. Dean could barely restrain himself from running towards them. Cas was indeed smoking hot in his black suit, the baby blue tie perfectly matching the color of his big, loving eyes. Their eyes locked and Cas smiled at him with his adorable alien head tilt. Dean took a deep breath in, smiling at his fiancé, whose eyes glistened suspiciously. Cas seemed completely awestruck, and Dean felt a little lightheaded like he always did when Cas looked at him like that... like he meant the world to him.

Charly placed Cas’ hand in Dean’s. “Hey handsome! Missed me last night?” Dean whispered with a wink. “Hello Dean. I missed you very much indeed”. Murmuring “Me too”, Dean softly leaned his forehead against Cas’. The grooms stood there for a moment with closed eyes and fond smiles on their faces, the longing for each other almost unbearable. Cas finally pulled away and stated softly: “You are incredibly beautiful”. He turned towards Sam. Dean blushed at the seriousness in Cas’ voice and slowly turned to face his brother as well, not without glancing at Cas’ concentrated face once more and shooting him a loving smile from the side. While Sam held his unsurprisingly deep and thoughtful speech, Cas slipped his hand into Dean’s, who squeezed it lightly in response.

When it was time to say their vows, Dean took Cas’ hands in his and started shakily: “So, uhm, I’d like to start if that’s okay. Cas – you’re my best friend. And you’re the love of my life. I never thought I’d ever say something like that, I didn’t exactly think love was in the cards for me. I never let anyone close. But you...” His furrowed brows softened, and he broke into a fond smile, adopting Cas’ little head tilt. “You immediately got to me – well, right after I stabbed you... Sorry for that, buddy.” He winked and Cas chuckled softly. Dean continued, his voice overflowing with love: “I love your weird, quirky personality. I love that you’re such an openhearted, adorable little dude and at the same time you’re brave, strong and one hell of a badass. You never stop surprising me. You have the most loving, pure and beautiful soul.” Dean’s voice started to crack. “You know me better than anyone, heck, you probably even know me better than I know myself. You looked into my soul and you love me for exactly who I am, which is the best gift you could have ever given me.” Firmly holding Cas’ gaze, he added seriously: “I promise to always love and support you unconditionally, in our human life together and beyond. I’ve been yours ever since you first laid a hand on me. And I swear I will be yours for all of eternity. I love you Cas, so damn much.”

Cas looked at him completely lovestruck, tears glistening in his eyes. In a low, gravelly voice he declared: “I never truly belonged anywhere. I never... functioned the way I was supposed to. And you made me realize that that’s okay. That freedom and free will were more preferable than being a brainwashed soldier of heaven. You gave me your friendship, you made me part of your family. You taught me to love.” He cupped Dean’s face, gently brushing his thumb over Dean’s freckled cheeks. Squinting his eyes in adoration at the miracle before him, he added: “You are the most perfect, selfless and loving human being I have ever known.” Tears started rolling down Dean’s cheeks, he still had a hard time accepting that someone – especially Cas – would think so highly of him. Receiving this praise in front of such a big audience made him blush. “Dean, you are my home. I love you. Forever.” He pressed a soft kiss on Dean’s forehead and wiped away his tears. Dean almost drowned in his loving eyes, completely overwhelmed with affection.

Claire and Jack came up to give them their rings. Claire handed Cas a ring and whispered: “Congrats Ca... Dad”. Cas froze up for a second, tilting his head, squinting his eyes, trying to understand if she really just meant that or if it had just slipped out on accident. When she gave him a shy confirming smile, he pulled her into a strong hug. Jack handed Dean a ring with a “Hello Dad” and a short hug, before tugging on Claire’s hand to pull her back to their seats. The almost married couple shared a confused look after what just happened, Dean opening his mouth to ask “Did they just call us..?” “I believe they did”, Cas replied happily.

Sam moved on with the ceremony and let them repeat some more promises to each other before posing the final question: “Do you, Castiel, take Dean Winchester as your lawfully wedded husband?” Cas answered earnestly “I do.” Sam turned to Dean to repeat his question: “Do you, Dean Winchester, take Castiel as your lawfully wedded husband?” Dean grinned widely, eyes crinkling around the edges: “Hell yeah, I do!” Sam asked them to exchange their rings to seal their bond and Cas took Dean’s hand gently in his. He slipped the ring on slowly, looking deeply into Dean’s beaming green eyes. Dean then slipped a ring onto Cas’ finger, his fingertips lingering longer than necessary. Sam finally pronounced them “...husband and husband. You may now kiss your groom!” Under the roaring cheers of their loved ones, Dean cupped Cas’ face while his husband pulled him close, arms wrapped around his waist. Their lips found each other easily, all of their adoration blooming into a chaste, soft kiss. Cas spontaneously bent Dean backwards, who gasped into his mouth in surprise, before letting himself fall into the strong embrace. Their kiss deepened, both too far gone to hear the excited cheers and whistles around them. It took them a while to gather the strength to break apart, foreheads resting against each other for one more moment before turning to the cheering crowd. Dean linked their hands and raised them up, as Sam exclaimed loudly: “I present to you Mr. and Mr. Winchester!”

The party afterwards was one for the books. Everyone had a blast and surprisingly enough, everyone got along perfectly, which wasn’t exactly a given on a party were hunters and supernatural beings came together. Donna’s and Jody’s wedding cake was mind-blowingly delicious. It was a white cake with three tiers and a figurine of the happy couple on top, wearing their trademark flannel and trenchcoat. When they cut the cake open, it revealed a colorful surprise. The top tier was colored like the bisexual pride flag. The second tier was chocolate-brown and the bottom tier looked like a rainbow flag. Dean insisted on feeding Cas with some cake and “accidentally” smeared frosting on Cas’ face. After he had kissed it away shamelessly, which earned them loud cheers and whistles from their guests, Dean pulled his husband onto the dance floor for their first dance.

They both didn’t exactly know how to dance, but it didn’t matter. They were just happy to feel the comforting warmth of their bodies against each other and melted into a tight embrace. As they were swaying gently, eyes closed and faces buried in each other’s necks, they didn’t realize that the first song had long blended into the next one. After a couple of songs, Dean opened his eyes for a moment, watching all the people he loved enjoy themselves. Jody and Donna slow-danced next to them and Eileen tried to teach Sam how to dance, hoping not to get her toes crushed. The brothers exchanged a big smile that said: “We’re so damn lucky”. Rowena stood at the DJ-table with Gabe, brushing a hand over his arm and whispering something in his ear. Crowley and Benny seemed to hit it off at the bar and Claire and Jack tried to teach Sonny some “tictoc-dance”, whatever that was, while Miracle excitedly jumped around their feet. Dean closed his eyes again and sank even deeper into the feeling of Cas’ arms wrapped around him.

The party carried on deep into the night, roaring rock classics long having replaced the quiet couple-dance music, everyone partying on the dance floor or sharing stories and laughs at the bar. As the newlyweds sat down to chat with Sam and Eileen over some drinks, Cas looked at his husband lovingly. He was overjoyed to see Dean beaming happily from being among all the people he loved, no danger in sight. As Dean caught Cas starring, he gave him a gentle peck and got up. He linked their hands as they strolled towards the lake, the party sounds fading into low background noises. They leaned up against each other, the reflections of stars and fairy lights glistening on the water as they held each other close in the cold night air. Dean nuzzled his nose into Cas’ hair and pressed a gentle kiss on his head. Cas turned to see Dean’s glowing eyes and pulled him into a long, achingly tender kiss. They were home.

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 14

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: Flangst 

WC: 2754

A/N: This chapter fills my ‘shower sex’ square for @spnkinkbingo​​​​​ Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons​​​​​​​​​​​ <3

This series is more than two weeks ahead on patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Dean’s in his office with Cas. Two security guys are sitting on the couch. The police came  again to ask questions, and they just left a moment ago.

He walks to the little bar and pours himself a whiskey. Is 4pm too early to drink? Yeah, it probably is, but he doesn’t really fucking care. 

And he woke up feeling so damn good, seeing her dancing naked in his apartment. He watched her doing a victory dance, felt like he had a victory of his own — it went downhill from there. Well, apart from the morning sex. And the second morning sex in the shower. That was pretty memorable, if he’s honest. He thinks back to how he pushed her up against the tiles, pushes his cock into her. Thinks about how she comes around his cock, how her nails claw into his back, marking him up. He lets her down and turns her around then, pushes her against the glass of the shower, slips into her again, bottoming out and fucking her while he spanks her ass raw. He wishes that he could turn back time. Just a little.

Nonetheless, the morning left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. Can’t lie, he was quite irritated that she already found an apartment, and almost wanted to tell her not to take it. But what can he do about it really? Nothing. It is what it is, and well, it’s not like they will stop seeing each other. Because he’s not giving that up so easily.

It’s just—

—he can’t even really explain it. It’s not like he experienced anything like it before either. If Dean had to describe it, he’d say that it’s the feeling of wanting to spend 24/7 with her and only her , and that pisses him off because he has to be a fucking adult about it. It’s especially rubbing him the wrong way, now knowing that someone is after him — and by proxy is after her as well — and he’d just rather know at all fucking times that she’s alright.

Cas is still laughing his ass off and that just makes him grumpier. 

“Cas, you done there?” Dean snarls at his friend and sits down on the couch with a groan. Sex twice this morning is taking a toll on him too. He’s not seven-fucking-teen anymore.

“It’s funny when you think about it, no?” Cas tries his best to suppress his grin.

Cas is laughing about the fact that the police want the list of people who hold a grudge against Dean. Which is probably longer than he cares to admit, hence Cas’ stupid laugh. 

It’s Dean’s own fault really, he wasn’t exactly known as the golden boy growing up. And even in the business world, he had more beef with people than not. There’s a long list of displeased women as well, and Dean doesn’t even know all their names. 

So now, instead of maybe spending the evening with her, Dean has to fucking write up a list to hand over to the police as soon as possible. 

Great. 

That’s just what he needs today. 

*

Dean’s still on that fucking list and it’s 11pm. He was supposed to take a night off — at least that’s what he told Cas, because he wants to be with her as long as she’s staying with him. He remembers her saying that she’s going into work in the evening because Rufus wants to talk about the article she’s writing about his club. They actually never talked about it again. Dean’s not sure if she’s going to write it at all. 

But he’s almost finished with the list, so there’s that. Maybe another hour — if he’s lucky. 

He decides to take a short break and send her a text.

  D: Are you upstairs? Sorry, it’s going to be a while longer till I’m finished.

  Watching his screen, he sees that she’s reading it, sees her typing back a reply.

  Y/N: Don’t worry about it. Just finishing up.

D: Should I come pick you up?

  He kinds of hopes that she’ll say yes. Dean thinks that he could use a distraction. Writing up names of people who might want bad things to happen to him is not exactly a joyous task.

  Y/N: Don’t worry, Rufus will drop me off. I’ll see you later!

  Right, so back to the list it is. Dean sighs before he gets up to pour himself another whiskey.

“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?” Rufus asks. His desk is right across from hers.

“Why? Does my smile irritate you?” Y/N’s smirking as she looks at her supervisor.

“Damn well, it irritates me!” Rufus shouts and she flinches but his face softens afterwards, lips pulling into a smile, “It’s that Winchester boy, isn’t it?”

“Nah,” She’s quick to say, and Rufus chuckles. She knows he doesn’t believe her.

“Have you thought about the article yet?” He says, sitting back in his chair. 

They’ve been discussing it before and he leaves it up to her. She doesn’t know why he asks again. She can’t possibly have made up her mind after six hours. Y/N needs more time than that.

“I don’t know,” She sighs, “I’ll meet Mrs. Mills in two days. I’ll let her speak, let her explain and try to understand her side of things.” 

That’s new to Rufus. He was on a break when she talked to Jody Mills.

Rufus nods, “You know that you can pull out of it, I gave you the permission to.”

“I know. Thanks, Rufus.” 

She hears him clicking on his mouse, hears the computer being shut down. 

He stands up, “You’re happy Y/N, I can tell.”

She gnaws on her bottom lip and it spreads into a smirk, “I am,”

“Good. That’s good,” Rufus says, picking up his suit jacket to put it on, “I love seeing you happy. I don’t even think I’ve seen you happy. And if it’s all that Winchester boy’s doing, I’d say that you should keep him close. He’s a good one, I can tell. He was being all proper when I talked to him last.”

She has to smile at that, because yeah, it sounds like Dean. He always has a way to charm himself out of any kind of situation. It’s frustrating really, because the teachers let him get away with so much. Especially the female teachers. 

“Seriously, Y/N,” Rufus says as he waits for her to pick up her things to drive her to Dean’s, “I mean it. If anyone deserves a little happiness, it’s you. And if he should cross you, let me know, I have five dogs and some friends.” 

“I will,” She snorts, has to hold back a laugh. But it’s cute and she really appreciates Rufus’s protectiveness over her.

 *

 Y/N decides to drop by his office before going up to the loft. She finds Dean hunched over his desk, his head rests on his arms. 

Approaching carefully, she reaches out a hand, touches his shoulder and Dean jolts up. In that moment, his computer screen comes back to life as well. She really didn’t want to look but she couldn’t not notice the list of names. Male and female ones alike. She’s curious what it’s about, but again, it’s not really her place to ask. The title of the document says Potential Leads . Her trained eyes can not unsee that. 

Dean sits up straight, pinches at the bridge of his nose and then he rolls his chair back and grabs at her wrist, pulling her sideways into his lap with a force that makes her squeal in delight. She ends up giggling on his lap while Dean kisses the tip of her nose, her cheek, the corner of her mouth.

“How are you?” He asks, his hand strokes at her thigh while the other one tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear. He lets his fingertips travel over her cheeks and her nose, as if her face is written in braille and he wants to memorize and read every word.

“Good,” She answers him and leans down, buries her forehead into the crook of his neck, scruff rough on her skin. She smells his cologne, his musk from the day. Her nose brushes against his throat and she nuzzles her face deeper into it while he wraps his arms around her, “Not as tired as you, apparently,” She says with a smirk.

It feels good being with him, and she can’t help to fall for Dean. It’s just a couple of days but it feels right, it feels like she’s found the piece of the puzzle she’s been missing growing up. She wonders if it’ll stay good. Good things never last in her life. She can’t help but feel a little sad that she’s going to move out, even though it's what she wants. Although it’s convenient this way. It’s convenient to come home to him and they get to see each other without having to schedule anything. Without having to send out texts and making calls, asking when they both will be free or available. 

Oh well, one can’t have it all, she knows that.

Dean tilts his head, leaves a lingering kiss on her forehead, “Yeah, I’m tired. Why don’t you go up and I’ll finish here. I promise I won’t be long.”

She sits up, looks him in the eye. They’re weary. There’s clearly something that bothers him, “Is something wrong?” She asks, because she can not not ask. 

“Nah,” He sighs and places his lips to her temple.

They sit in silence for a little while until Dean starts to speak again, “I get threats every now and then but lately, it increased and they damaged some property. The police just want some names, but it’s really nothing for you to be worried about, okay?”

She frowns and Dean thumbs at the crease between her eyebrows, “Is that common in your line of work?” 

Dean snorts, “Yeah, pretty much. There are a lot of jealous people,” He pulls her closer, hugging her tighter and rests his chin on the top of her head, “I can deal with it, but it’s a whole different story if you’re involved.”

Her ear is on his chest and she hears the bass of his voice vibrating. 

“‘S that why you’re worried about my safety?” 

“Uh-huh,”

Y/N takes time to think and then it dawns on her, “You think the break in of my apartment has something to do with it?”

He breathes evenly but she can hear his heartbeat picking up pace, “I don’t know. I don’t think so, and I hope it was just a coincidence.” With his next breath he adds, “I’m sorry, it’s just… I never had a woman as close to me as you are now, and I guess that makes you a target and my Achilles heel. In hindsight, I should have never taken you to the party. I’m sorry about that.” He kisses the top of her head. 

She doesn’t really care about the threats, though. All she heard was the fact that he said that she’s the first woman that’s been close to him. She wants to ask him if it’s true. If she’s the first one who has got to know the real Dean. If she’s the first one he really cares about. But she doesn’t ask, thinks it’s not really the right time.

“‘S okay,” She says, nuzzles her face deeper into the base of his throat, “I’m a big girl. I can handle what life throws at me.” 

“I know that,” Dean chuckles, “But I would be super bummed if you were to be harmed.”

Y/N frowns, “You think they will go that far?”

Dean shrugs, “I don’t know. Fact is, you’re my girl, and I need you to be careful out there, alright?”

My girl.

Her heart flutters at that. 

She chuckles softly and Dean pushes her away a little, 

“What?” He asks but he’s smirking.

Still grinning, she says, “You said I’m your girl,”

He smiles and tucks her hair behind both her ears with his hands, leaves them on the side of her face, cradling it between his big palms, “That’s because you are,” He moves closer, their noses touch, lips ghosting over each others, “Wouldn’t want to have any other,” He kisses her, soft and gently, tongue teasing along her teeth. She tastes whiskey on the tip of his tongue.

Just when she wants to melt into the kiss, Dean breaks it abruptly, “You should go up so I can finish this. If you stay, I don’t think I can keep my hands to myself.” 

Chuckling, she kisses his nose and gets up from his lap. 

It’s an hour later when Dean finishes and he’s so goddamn tired, he almost crawls along the floor to his loft. Lack of sleep last night and being on edge the whole day does weird things to your body. 

He finds her in bed, laying on her stomach, reading. And she’s wearing only panties. Dean shrugs off his jacket right by the door, drops it and begins to unbutton his shirt while he strolls closer to the bed. Next he works on his pants and leaves a trail of clothes along the way. 

When he’s standing by the foot of the bed, he’s only dressed in his underwear and his dick stirs in his pants. He tries his best to ignore it. 

Dean crawls up to her, spreads kisses on both her ass cheeks and rests his head on it, using her butt as a comfortable pillow, “So tired,” He groans and she chuckles. Her hand reaches behind to thread through the top of his head and Dean leans into the touch, bathes himself in the feel. 

Before he can make himself too comfortable, he pushes himself away, “I’m taking a quick shower,” 

He showers real quick, still ignoring his dick that’s already hard and heavy, because that’s not what he wants right now — which is weird because it’s almost always what he wants. Guess she changed him.

Dean walks out, his body still damp, a pair of fresh underwear on, and crawls into bed. She’s already waiting, has abandoned her book and is curled up on her side. He spoons her from behind and she turns herself, curls against his side and buries her face into the crook of his neck. He feels her naked chest pressing against his. 

When she looks up to him, Dean steals a kiss, kissing her forehead while he tucks her hair behind her ear. His thumb paints along her eyebrow, her nose, down to her lips. He kisses her, all soft and smooth, the hand that’s on her waist kneads her flesh. 

She bucks her hips, grinding her lower body against him and he has to chuckle. She’s a needy little thing but he’s not going to give in. Instead, he manhandles her around, buries his face into the nape of her neck, spraying kisses there, “Baby, we should get some sleep,” 

Y/N whines at that, backs up her ass into his bulge but Dean’s hand is on her waist, holds her steady. After a while, she gives up. 

He’s stroking her with one hand while she lies in his arm, hand travelling over bumpy territory, trying to memorize her every crease and every bump with the tip of his fingers. He listens to her steady heartbeat, listens to her breathing even out. 

No, sex is definitely not the only thing he wants with her. He wants all the other things right now, and he doesn’t even know himself anymore. It’s different with her. He doesn’t want her to think that it’s only about the club. That it’s only about the rooms he shows her. 

Dean thinks that everyone can like the wonderful part of a person. The trick is to accept their flaws. In this short time, he has learned to accept her flaws, can honestly and truly say that he can work with them, can work around them, can make something out of it. The good things, he knows, will always be there. It’s the things underneath that are challenging. But it’s a challenge he’s ready to face. 

Fuck , Dean thinks to himself, he’s falling fast down the rabbit hole that is her and even though it should scare him—

—strangely, it doesn’t.

Chapter 15

[dean-winchesters-gardian-angel]

The Same bed - Chapter 4

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: Friends are there to help each other out, but can they help falling for each other when all the long days they spend together turn into late nights they have and their reliance on each other.

Word count: 2544

Warnings: Fluff, angst, description of blood and injuries, nightmares, slow burn.

A/N: Chapter 4! Off we go. Read it enjoy and I’ll see you on the other side. There’s also a tag list, so be sure to tell me if you want in, as well as a masterlist so be sure to check it out. As are the latests, Unbeta’d all mistakes are mine.

Series masterlist 

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Dean didn't sleep that night, too busy cursing himself for hurting Y/N and simultaneously afraid he may have a nightmare. He had gotten up several times with the intention of going to her room and seeking forgiveness if she'd give it to him, though he wouldn't blame her if she refused. Instead, he'd pace around his room or make it as far as her door before heading to the bathroom to wash his face rather than knocking.

The next night Dean had been too exhausted to stay awake, now accustomed to getting around 8 hours he passed out some time just after 2 in the morning while everyone else slept soundly. Dean managed to get just over an hour of shut-eye before waking up to one of his worst nightmares. He jolted up with a scream though quickly cut himself off as to not wake anyone. Nevertheless, he was half a scream too late as Y/N sat up in her own bed wanting to go check on him but refused due to her own stubbornness.

Dean mumbled a 'son of bitch' before getting up and making his way to the kitchen to get started on some coffee. Dean was given about 2 hours to contemplate his idiocy towards Y/N before his brother found his way to the kitchen.

"Dean?"

"Huh? Hey, morning."

"Man, you look like trash."

"Oh, thanks you're not so bad yourself in the shorts." Sam looked to his running shorts before rolling his eyes.

"You always did give me a hard time for wanting to stay in shape."

"Hunting keeps you in shape, not some little jaunt you do every morning. Hey, speaking of, have you found any new cases seems like forever since we've killed a deserving asshat."

"I've been talking to Jody and Donna, they've got a lead on a vamp nest, said they're heading out in two days and we're more than welcome to tag along."

"So, tomorrow. What time."

"They wanted to hit it just after sundown. So, we would leave tomorrow morning if you're interested."

"Oh, I'm interested, give me some' to kill."

"Dean are you sure you're okay. You usually become self-destructive when you've got something going on, something you need to talk about."

"I'm fine, Sammy."

"I'd mention that Y/N isn't sleeping in your room anymore, but I think that'd just make you mad considering that's probably what's bothering you."

"So much for not mentioning it." Dean swallowed what was left in his coffee cup before washing it and setting it in the dry rack. He made his way back to his room hoping his brother would take the hint and leave for his run, which he did. Once he heard the bunker door shut Dean went back to the kitchen to have another cup of coffee. As he sat down the sound of footsteps padding down the hall alerting him that Y/N had awoken. Dean straightened his posture as she entered the kitchen making her way to the cabinet to fish out a mug without making eye contact.

"Morning Y/N."

"Oh my god! It speaks." She filled her mug before walking out having not looked him in the eyes once. Dean rested his chin in his palm kicking himself for having hurt her. After a deep sigh, he dragged his palm over his face closing his eyes momentarily allowing them some rest from the lights of the bunker. Dean strolled his way to Y/N's room and knocked on her door. He heard her sniffle some before the door swung open, Y/N standing in front of him, eyebrows raised clearly on her last nerve.

"I just wanted to let you know we've got a case tomorrow, with Jody and Donna, we've got to leave early-ish so, you know, you might want to pack today so you're not rushing. Anyway, just keeping you in the loop." Y/N looked at her best friend whose eyes were tired, red, and glossy, staring at the ground in front of him. She missed him, but she didn't know why he was angry at her.

"Thanks." She turned away from him intent on closing her door to block the view of the broken man she so deeply cared about and wanted to help, and he spoke.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?" Dean swallowed trying to think of what he wanted to say to her but came up with nothing. There wasn't anything specific he wanted to tell her in that moment he just wanted to be with her. In the same room sitting next to her, looking at her. He wanted to spend time with his best friend whom he had been missing lately but if there was one person more stubborn than Y/N it was Dean.

"Nothing...nothing." With a sad smile and a sigh, Dean walked to his own room with the aim of avoiding her, once again, all day.

Dean listens as Y/N played her music in her room and smiled when the Grease love song came though it wasn't given a chance to finish before Y/N skipped it. He could hear his brother and Y/N talking in the library during the day occasionally finding something funny as they giggled in unison. He missed having her, missed being the one laughing with her, or even just talking with her.

Nearing the end of the day, Dean made his way out of his room for the first time that to grab a snack before trying his hand at some forty winks, wanting to be rested up before their hunt tomorrow. The energy of the room sizzled to nothing as he entered the kitchen. Sammy and Y/N were sitting next to each other looking at pictures of haircuts on the internet.

"Seriously Sam, I've been cutting my own hair my whole life. Just let me add a little shape to it. A little trim here and there I can make you look like the handsome devil you really are."

"I'm not letting you cut my hair. I don't trust you not to just cut it all off. Besides, I don't—" Both their eyes looked up to Dean as he stood in the doorway observing their interaction. Once he noticed their gaze he moved to the counter, pulling a bowl from the cupboard and reaching for the box of cereal.

"Sam and I made pasta if you're hungry for real food." Dean looked over the noodles as his tummy growled, licking his lips.

"Dean, just have some, we're not gonna finish it. It'll just end up going to waste." He hesitantly looked over his shoulder forcing a smile to Y/N who had the smallest one of her on her face. She watched him as he traded his bowl for a plate. Dean plated himself some of the homemade food before Y/N gestured at the spot in front of herself and Sam along with the parmesan on the table. Dean took a seat not wanting to be impolite more so than he'd already been.

"Anyway, I'm trying to convince Sam to let me trim his hair."

"You're not touching my hair with a ten-foot pole."

"Oh, come on Sam it grows back. You'll see, it'll look really good and you won't even want to grow it back. Won't be in your eyes anymore, won't distract you during hunts, monsters won't be able to grab at it. You know I make a good case."

"Sure. But you're still not cutting my hair." Meanwhile, Dean was silently moaning at the flavours on his plate. Y/N watched as the eldest closed his eyes savouring the taste, before he spoke, displaying his voice to them for the first time since the early morning.

"This is kind of amazing. I don't think I've ever had spaghetti this amazing. What jar did you guys use?" Referring to the sauce that had his taste buds dancing on his tongue.

"Actually, Y/N made the sauce."

"My mum used to make these gigantic pots of spaghetti sauce and freeze it so we could have it whenever we want. I was missing it, so I made some from memory. It's not hers but I think it turned out alright. I know I missed something, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was." Dean looked up, his mouth full, to the women speaking, no longer focusing on him rather in her head desperately searching for the missing ingredient, as he swallowed.

"You made the sauce? From scratch?"

"Uh-huh. Yeah, I mean it's not really that hard just time consuming, you have to let it simmer for a little bit, but I think it's worth it. Once in a while at least."

"You mind if I have more?"

"Go right ahead. Sam and I both already had seconds." Dean finished what was left and helped himself to more before moving back to his spot at the table.

"Sam promised to make me the 'Winchester Surprise' one day? Said you used to make it for him." Sam looked to his brother who reminisced, thinking back to the worst meals he had prepared for his baby brother.

"It was terrible. Sam that's — to repay her for this. Seriously Y/N you won't want to eat anything we make for the rest of your life. It was god awful."

"As much as I believe you because I do, by the description, Sam gave me, oh boy, I'll still be the judge of that." Dean chuckled at her retort missing her effortless comebacks and modesty when it came to the things she was good at, though he found it frustrating when she didn't accept the compliment he'd give her. He wanted her to brag about how many Djinns she could kill in a week, or in this case how good the sauce was instead of saying it wasn't perfect, so he'd done it for her, telling his brother when she would do something 'awesome', as he'd put it, that made him feel proud to call himself her friend. The guilt he felt was sudden and overwhelming. Even after he'd gone days without speaking to her, after pushing her away so abruptly, she was still offering him dinner, the conversation, the casual smile, the eye contact. How he longed for her eye contact. She had always been able to communicate with him with her eyes. He craved her gaze, how her orbs would sparkle when she was happy or grow dark when hooded with anger. But the thing he loved the most about her eyes was the fact that when they looked into his, it was like nothing else mattered. He could see he had her attention, and he wouldn't want to look away.

"I'm—ehem— I'm heading to bed, didn't sleep well last night, gonna try to rest up before our hunt tomorrow." Dean looked to Y/N who had a saddened look on her face, clearly angry and confused as to why Dean wouldn't let her help him. When he noticed the look on her face, he realized his words and quickly made up an excuse for why he couldn't sleep hoping to ease Y/Ns mind indirectly.

"Maybe it was a full moon, could never sleep well during a full moon."

"Full moon was last week Dean." Y/N answered him with an unreadable expression along with it. He didn't respond in an effort to save what dignity he had left. He forced a smile in Y/Ns direction as he passed by, once he'd finished cleaning his dishes.

"You mind telling me what's going on between the two of you Y/N?"

"Honestly Sam I haven't got the slightest."

"I know you two were sharing a bed... was that like—"

"If you're suggesting that we were a thing then no. He slept better when there was someone in the room with him, so I was that someone. Then out of the blue, he got distant and said he didn't need me anymore so." She shrugged not sure how to further explain their recent exchanges. "I know he's not through with the nightmares though because I heard his screams last night. I didn't check on him 'cause I was angry at him saying they were done, and he didn't need me anymore, but it was petty. I wanted him to stew in his nightmare, remember how bad they were before I told him I'd stay. I just don't understand him, I didn't do anything to warrant his actions. I haven't bothered asking why he's mad at me and even if I did, he'd just ignore me some more so what's the point. He's being a child. He's acting like I killed his brother when really all I'm trying to do is cut his hair." Her joke succeeded in lightening the mood as Sam chuckled moving to the sink to clean off his plate.

"You're a good influence on him, you know?"

"Why's that."

"Well for starters, he washed his plate."

"Oh yeah, I yelled at him this one time for leaving a mess, which I'm pretty sure was actually mine from the night before, but he hasn't left dirty dishes since so I guess it all worked out." Sam outright laughed at that before excusing himself to prepare for bedtime.

By the time 8 o'clock rolled around the bunker was silent, everyone in their respective bedrooms reading or watching a little telly before getting some rest. Due to the lack of sleep the nights prior and the upcoming hunt, Dean closed his eyes tight willing the nightmares away as he gripped his sheets. It didn't take him long to doze off though and it didn't last long before he was startled awake by Y/Ns voice. "Dean! Wake up!" She looked terrified, holding Dean down by his shoulders. "You idiot. Get up."

"Y/N? Why? What's—" She dragged him out of bed to the bathroom.

"Look at your hand Dean." She could hear the anger in her voice frustrated with him for refusing her help. The help they both knew would work. Dean looked down at the palm she hadn't grasped as she marched him down the hall like a child in trouble. It was bleeding, trailing down his fingers, shards of dark glass still imbedded in the tender skin of his palm.

"How did—" It came out as a whisper, laced with sleep as he did his best to orientate himself. Y/N turned on the light in the bathroom before forcibly sitting him on the lid of the toilet.

"You must have grabbed the beer bottle on your nightstand in your sleep." Y/N had pulled out the first aid kit they had stored under the sink along with a pair of tweezers, kneeling in front of the older Winchester.

"Y/N you don't have to—"

"I swear Dean if you tell me you don't need my help one more time I swear," she looked up from his palm to glare at him, "I’m going to tie you down until you get past... what ever this is." She didn't break eye contact with him until he nodded, shamefully looking down at the injury he only now started to feel.

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Chapter 5 ~~ Out now!

Tag List: @akshi8278​ @bargedog @just-someone-difficult​ @mila-dans​ @valhallavxlkyrie​

Series Tags: @autobotgirl15-blog​ @classyunknownlover​ @laycblack​ @lovememisha​ @music-is-all-i-need​ @redbarn1995​ @wellfuckmyexistence​

[carpsurprise]

Can I request Memory and Teach for Sam and Sebastian, please??

aaaa this is quite long!! also i apologize for it sitting for a while, this was p tough but i do love both of the boys sm :,) !!

memory:

what memory are they most fond of? 

-sam: sam remembers one of the first friends he ever made when he was still living in zuzu city! his friend’s parents kinda doubled as his own, and saw his friend’s dad as a father figure when kent was away! his friend’s dad was super big on music and taught his son how to play a few instruments, and sam really loved how close they all were! his friend’s dad bought him his first acoustic guitar :,)

-seb: when him and sam were younger robin allowed sam to come on a camping trip with them!! it was the first time sam and seb really were close for an extended period of time and they were able to do some stuff on their own for the first time!! seb remembers sam being suuuper bad at fishing and struggling to start a fire (despite say he was the best at both)... the whole trip is a fun memory for him!

what memory bothers them? 

-sam: his mom blew up on him and vincent for something super small. sam was old enough to piece together she wasn’t upset with them, but was just stressed about kent. vincent didn’t understand what he had done wrong and took it really bad, and was kinda distant from jodi for a little bit just because he was scared to make her mad again.

-seb: anything that has to do with his father! he tries to repress it as much as possible instead of dealing with it, but sometimes he’ll have a good memory with his father come up and then feels guilty for resenting him! 

what is something from the past they've learned from? 

-sam: always check up on everyone! if someone seems like they’re struggling.. even a little.. he’ll offer some help or at least some encouraging words. he learned esp with sebastian and keeping in tune with him, but it works for when his mom is super stressed too!

-seb: not to waste his breath on those that don’t deserve it! he’ll be the bigger person and not fight with others on trivial stuff that has no real outcome. he’s not one for confrontation anyway, but if someone’s looking for someone to back them up, it’s not gonna be him. 

what is a memory that always makes them laugh?

-sam: these 2 are connected, but def sometime he pranked seb. anytime he’s made seb (lightheartedly, ofc) annoyed he enjoys it. he lives to innocently mess with others and finds the funniest moments are where he’s successfully caught someone off guard. but, there was a time when he was younger kent got stuck on a water slide… he doesn’t let kent live that down, despite knowing the slide was built for kids. 

-seb: i think canonically seb smiles thinking about how sam is leading in community service hours and i thiiink another dialogue is similar to that. it seems like memories with sam make him chuckle if they cross his mind! sam launching snowballs accidentally into lewis’ face, tripping over his own feet in front of penny.. etc

teach:

what is one thing they wish to teach the world? 

-sam: not so much the world, but he’d love to teach vincent to be himself as he is!! and to pursue what he wants no matter what jodi or anyone would say against it!!

-seb: he hopes that as he is… people will learn to be more compassionate and not jump to conclusions about a person. he knows he’s a likable guy, just hopes sometimes people will learn to see past his faults.

what is something they think is important that isn't taught at school? 

-sam: mental health!! i think he’d be a big advocate for knowing what’s going on in the head and how to catch certain things early. teach people its ok to breakdown!! there’s nothing wrong with needing a break and taking it easy… teach kids that it’s okay to be upset. 

-seb: honestly? computer sciences. i mean you have keyboarding and such but like? viruses, simple stuff like settings and such? not touched on a lot! he gets so sick doing simple tasks for people sooo often, esp when it’s like basic stuff! gotta teach some computer smarts (so no one bothers him when he’s busy lsdkflkds)

what is something they wish they knew earlier? 

-sam: lifes too short to mope around and be upset about insignificance things!! gotta look at the positives in bad situations and take nothing for granted! his dad being away kinda taught him a lot about mortality, and now makes sure to appreciate the little things!

-seb: people do care about him. he’s more secure with his friends now, but it took him years to warm up and not feel like a burden/annoyance to them. he now knows if he does feel down both abby and sam are ready to jump to his side… even if he doesn’t think he’ll leave a ~lasting impact~ on the world, he takes comfort he at least brings them some joy from time to time.

what was their best and worst school subject?

-sam: he’s v good at science-y stuff! like the plant/animal part of biology (even stuff like enzymes etc!!) and finds a lot of interest in it!! if he can do like hands on labs he learns the best and its easier to apply his knowledge!

-seb: english! def the english teacher’s fave kid. likes classics and the drama of shakespeare… won’t really read aloud unless he’s called on. he’s super good at grammar and english has always come super easy to him! he also really likes history but only specifics of it.

were they a "good student"? why or why not?

-sam: ohh no. definitely a good bit of that is his adhd, but teachers ofc never really took him seriously. i think he’s v bright and intelligent but.. traditional learning is not for him.

-seb: he’s the kid that got “a pleasure to have in class” on his report card simply bc he never spoke! the kid that the loud and rowdy kids get sat next to to be a ‘good influence’... good grades until he hit his teen years and started feeling.. y’know... gloomy.

[placebogirl7]

Why Jodie is so hated in DC fandom? - Analysis of an underestimated character and clarification about wrong assumptions

Preliminary remark: this post is just a personal opinion. No intention to start wars of any kind, I respect everyone’s opionion so I want my opinion to be respected too. If you don’t share it, it’s totally ok as it’s totally ok if I don’t share yours.

During these last 5 years I’ve been back into DC fandom, I notice all around the web many people spreading hate towards Jodie (not only here on Tumblr but everywhere, especially in forums and social media pages). It’s ok to not like a character, but you need valid reasons to hate it. If you hate it for bullshit, then it’s only hate based on nothing. And this is what I see everytime I read a bad comment about Jodie’s character. This is really annoying for a fan, to be honest. Now I want to point out some of the most popular reason why Jodie is hated and analyze them (maybe I have already explained my point of view about them in some other posts in the last years, but I will clarify them again).

1) “Jodie has become useless, she’s no more interesting and mysterious as she was at the beginning” You (Jodie haters) really notice this change only in Jodie’s character? Because I can mention at least other 10 characters who, at their first appearance, were described as mysterious and cool and whatever else, but now are “lying on the shelf” for Gosho’s choise. Jodie has been introduced in a mysterious way becase she was suspected to be Vermouth, so Gosho created the suspance around her character and made her act in a shifty way to make the readers believe that she could be one of the BO members. Once it has been revealed that she wasn’t bad, there were no more need to make her act in a shifty way. Many other character who were suspected to be Bo members but in the end were not have shared the same fate. But it’s Gosho’s decision, not Jodie’s fault. It’s not something related to her way of being, it’s a choise of the author.  She has become usless? Ok, let’s face the reality: who is useful among the characters? A very few. Let’s take all the FBI Team: Gosho has painted them as a bunch of idiots that without Akai can’t do nothing. To make Akai “shine” he has denigrated Jodie, James and Camel. Camel doesn’t do nothing of his own, he always wait for Akai’s orders; James is supposed to be the chief but actually he does what Akai says; Jodie seems to make mistakes everytime she did something, even if she’s doing it in the right way. But again, it’s not their fault because we have seen them doing even very good things and being brilliant, so they have potential: it’s Gosho who decided to treat them like dumbs so Akai can be like a God who will save all of us. Don’t get me wrong, I love Akai, but I hate what Gosho is doing to put him in the spotligh. Again, it’s Gosho’s fault, not the characters who suddenly became usless and not interesting. The hate should be towards Gosho, not Jodie.

2) “After Akai’s death Jodie has become so annoying, she’s weak and she’s always crying” Ok...question for you Jodie haters: if you suddenly lose someone you love, what will be your reaction? Will you laugh as you were watching a sitcom, will you organize a big party with your friends or will you start throwing confetti in the air? Because if you do one if these 3 things, then...congratulations, you have won the highest award for the most cool /stone-harted/ heartless person in this world! You have no rivals, not even Shuichi Akai who is now jealous of you!  Seriously...if the man you love so much dies suddenly, it’s LEGITIMATE to cry, to be desperate, to lose yourself. It’s like losing a part of you. But despite feeling lost, Jodie has been the only one among the FBI who never believed to Akai’s death since the beginning and she fought long and hard to find out the truth behind his death. Since when on the TV they show the incident at Rahia Pass and they say a man was dead burned in his car, she immediately thought that it wasn’t Shuichi and that he had surely used a trick to escape. Guess what? She was right! Do you still think she’s stupid?  Jodie isn’t weak, she just faced an emotional breakdown due to the loss of a person she loved. This is being human, not being weak. Jodie isn’t always crying, she cried when everything and everyone around her was making her believe that Shuichi was really dead. At a certain point she stopped crying, when she saw hope, a hint that Shu was still alive. She isn’t a crybaby, she just needed hope. 

3) “Since Akai’s death, Jodie hasn’t done anything interesting or exciting, she has become boring” If you didn’t notice by yourself, then I will reveal you the biggest secret of all: after Akai’s death, or better to say after the end of Scarlet Arc when Jodie and Camel discovered about Shuichi being alive and hiding behind Subaru’s identity...FBI hasn’t appeared anymore in the manga for ages, since the last files which came our recently! How are they (included Jodie) supposed to do something exciting or interesting if they don’t even appear? Gosho put them in the closet with the naphthalene and he concentrated his attention on other characters (first of all Amuro, which in my opinion deserves more hate than Jodie because of his behaviour but somehow is adored as a God in the fandom).Then one day he get up and he had the big flash of genius: “FBI still exist in my story, so better take them out of the closet and make them do something”. But in the end, as always, only Akai did something relevant. Camel has been a puppet in the hand of Akai and Jodie made a mistake. So, again, it’s not Jodie who have changed and become a worst character, it’s how Gosho is painting her and the other FBI agents which makes them appear less interesting or capable at the eyes of the readers.

4) “Jodie has become stupid” About this I made a “funny” post long time ago, so I will put the link below. I think it’s enough to explain all:

https://placebogirl7.tumblr.com/post/156414088650/jodie-has-become-more-and-more-stupid  

I will also add something that surely will unleash the wrath of somebody and maybe they will start complain, but I honestly don’t care because it’s nothing against someone in particular but just something I noticed. This is absolutely not an attempt to start a ship war nor a free criticism end in itself, because I reaspect everyone ship and opinion even if I don’t agree with that. The fact is that I noticed that often (not always of course, but often) these criticism about Jodie are moved by ShuKemi fans, and considering what I said above it seems that their hate for Jodie is just because Jodie was Akai’s girlfriend before Akemi and she has the possibility (if Gosho wants) to be his girlfriend again the future, not really because they analyzed Jodie’s character before spreading shit about it.  So I would like to point out to these ShuKemi fans who idolize Akemi’s character so much and tell shits about Jodie that Akemi sentenced herself to death with her own hands after making the worst and wrong choise she could have ever done in her life. I’ve seen many times Akemi being called “a hero” but chosing to death without obtaining nothing in return isn’t being a hero, it’s just being stupid in my opinion. Being a hero is another thing. You’re an hero if you sacrifice yourself with the goal to obtain something that worth your sacrifice, but if you sacrifice yourself knowing that you won’t obtain nothing apart from your death...well, that’s not being a hero at all. And before someone will say “You talk like this because you’re a ShuJodie fan”, please be aware that Akemi’s death has been shown before Jodie appearance and before knowing that Jodie had a relationship with Shu before he started dating Akemi, so I would have no reason to say these things just because of such trivial matters. The reason why I’ve never been touched by Akemi’s death since the beginning is because I think she has consciously chosen to die since the beginning of her “masterplan”. C’mon, how can you really think to make a deal with criminals? There’s a reason if they are criminals... She really thought that Gin would have kept his promise? If the answer is yes, then I’m sorry to say that but she’s stupid twice. So before saying that Jodie is the stupid one, at least analyze the things deeply and objectively. 

Now I know that this will make someone mad but I’m sorry, it’s what I think. And not because I see Akemi as a “threat” for Jodie’s relationship with Shuichi, as I always said I don’t need to spread shit on some character to covince myself and the other that my couple is better, I really don’t need this. I love my couple and stop, the rest doesn’t matter. If I don’t like a character, there’s always a deeper motivation behind, which has nothing to do with OTPs and trivial matters like that. But before saying I don’t like a character and draw up charges on it, I always analyze the character. I’m sorry that nobody do it with Jodie. 

Please also note that I used Akemi as example of character being idolized for no real reason because, as I said, I noticed that who talk shits about Jodie are often ShuKemi fans, but there are also other characters of course who are idolized when they actually have nothing to be idolized for. Another example is Amuro, I recently made a post about what I think of him.  Now if you don’t like what I think and what I said you are free to unfollow me, I’m sorry but I really needed to make this post because it has become more and more annoying to see nonsense unkindness things about Jodie.

Peace, love and Jodie Starling ♥

[thesoulbound]

@storiesofthenight (Dean) // Drabble.

“Just read it, okay? Don’t be a bitch about it,” Sam said quietly. Handing Dean a rather thick envelope.

“Sammy. You’re the bitch, remember? I’m the jerk!” Dean pouted, accepting the envelope with a slight worried frown on his face.

“Things change, Dean,” Sam smiled.

“Not that, bitch,” Dean countered.

“Lucky for you, you can be both a bitch and a jerk,” Sam grinned, giving Dean a pat on the top of his head before backing off,

“Just read it okay? Seriously,” he insisted. Patting his thigh for Bones and Miracles to follow him so Dean could be left alone on the porch to read.

Dean watched his little brother leave the porch and walk down to the lake by their cabin. Because yes. Who would be surprised that the two Winchester brothers wanted to spend eternity together? No one. The lovely little thing though was that now they could go see their other loved ones when they felt the need to. Now they were at peace. It was just a relief for both of the Winchester brothers to know that they found that peace together as well.

The first thing that came out of the envelope wasn’t the letter, but a photograph. He didn’t know how Sam had gotten it, but considering this was Heaven, Dean wasn’t about to sit and think too hard about it. Turning the photo over it didn’t take long for tears to form in his eyes.

Sam Winchester. His little brother as an old man with his arm around a younger man that undoubtedly was his son. The son his brother had named after him.

“Goddamnit, Sam,” Dean felt tears in his eyes already and he hadn’t even begun on the letter. He watched the photograph for a long time. Seeing his baby brother an old man both broke his heart and made it soar at the same time. His boy. His brother. He got to live a full life. He got to die an old wrinkly man with a son that loved him by his side. He wished he could have been there through the latter half of his life more than anything else, but he did find peace in seeing Sam getting the life he deserved.

Reluctantly he put the photograph next to him. Smiling at photograph. Sam’s son looked just like him. Long hair and all. 

“Goddamnit, Sammy,” he chuckled before unfolding the letter.

Dean,

Somethings are too hard to talk about. Especially when there’s so much to be said. So I figured it would be better to write down on paper about my life. After you. Rather than to talk about it. None of us has ever been that good at talking about our feelings afterall. You worse of all. Don’t fight me on this. You know it’s true. 

Don’t worry. I’m not going to go into dreadful details. If I did that this letter would be even longer, but you should know that if there’s anything you do want to know, you can just ask. This isn’t my way of telling you we can never talk about things. I just wanted you to know the most important things.

First of all, I guess the roughest part is how my life after you started... the moment you were gone. You might mock me for this, but it’s the one day in my life I really can’t talk about without breaking. You’ve always had it in your mind that I didn’t love you as much back as you loved me. Or that you didn’t deserve it or whatnot. Well, you were always wrong about that. I love you. You were always the one I could count on. 

Okay maybe not always, but every relationship, be it friendships, or brotherhood, or romance, fail at times. But most of the time I knew you had my back, and the times you didn’t - your intentions were still pure. But you need to know that just because we had our bad times. I loved you just as much as you loved me.

Therefore, the day you died for the last time, as cliche as it sounds, I died too.

I don’t want you to feel bad about it. What soulmate feels anything but grief when their other half passes on without them?

Despite how hard life was after that, you need to know I’m not angry with you. It hurt that you think it would be just easy to move on without you. That I should just let you go. But I was never angry with you. I was angry because you deserved better. You deserved a life you claimed wasn’t for you. You deserved a child of your own. And well, considering how much you slept around, maybe you did have a child out there.

Dean paused to take a very long, deep breath while drying his tears. He would kick his brother’s ass for that joke, but fairs. He supposed he had a point there.

Anyway. I took care of Miracle the rest of her life. As you know. She lived a long life and died an old girl. Of course losing her was rough, but I suppose it was a relief to know that at least she would get to reunite with you. 

I left the Bunker after grieving you for a... let’s not go into details here, but I guess it was a long time. You know I never loved the Bunker the way you did. It never felt like home. Once you were gone it certainly was even less of a home because it hadn’t been in the first place. You were my home. You were Miracle’s new home. 

Years passed and I reunited with Jody and well, the hunters from the Apocalypse world. They helped me get back on my feet. They helped me become some kind of leader I guess. This was the way I met my future wife. Her name was Casey. Dean’s mother. A great woman, but we wouldn’t last. That’s why I never mentioned her to you. I wasn’t a great husband. As you know, I don’t exactly come with a tiny baggage and in the long run it became too much for her.

I don’t want you to think ill of her. She really is a good woman. She always made sure that my son. Dean. Would have both his parents in his life. 

Dean wasn’t raised as a hunter, but he was raised with the knowledge of it. He is fully educated in it, but works as an auto mechanic. He is the one who has taken over Baby back on earth. She will be very loved there as long as there is a Winchester to appreciate her significance. She was an extension of you and she was always home. I wouldn’t dare to not let it be known how important she was. Even if the whole world can’t know her importance in human history, all hunters know of her and the new Men of Letters will continue to care for her if no one else can.

The rest of my life I mostly made the new Men of Letters a thing. Not alone of course. Our old friends and the ones that came after will continue that legacy. And no, I did not go back to law school. Didn’t feel right after all the illegal shit we’ve been doing. 

Dean sat back in his seat. Needing a moment to put himself together. The fact that he was smiling and crying at once was just too much, but at least it wasn’t all too bad. 

He took a moment too admire the view from the porch of their home. Bobby didn’t live far away. Their parents. Jody. Distance wasn’t really a thing here. If the wished to see someone, they were never far away. Even if the landscape required one hell of a makeover to see them. Perks of heaven, he supposed.

He looked down towards the lake where Sam had settled down on the floating dock with Miracle and his own dog from childhood. Bones. That dog had been a pleasant surprise. 

Dean.

Dean looked back on the long, long letter.

This letter is already getting too long. At this point I’ve said some of the most important things I guess. From here on you can ask me if there’s something you want to know. 

I do want to finish off though by reminding you to not worry that I feel any anger or regret with you. Moving on from you is the single hardest thing I ever had to do. For the rest of my life I missed you. Even though I knew I would see you again. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to see you waiting for me on that bridge when I came here. I don’t know if soulmates are still a thing, but I figure you’re still mine based on that. 

Now, I’d say we enjoy a well fucking deserved rest. One day you will meet my son. And I will help you find real peace. Because yes. I’m your brother. And I will always know when you say you’re fine, but you’re not. But give it time. We finally have all the time in the... world? Heaven? And now I’m here to make sure you find that peace. 

I love you.

Sam.

Dean folded the letter and shook his head.

You sappy son of a bitch. 

He could quite literally feel Sam’s beaming smile even though he was still down by the lake. 

Dean got to his feet, furiously drying away the tears on his cheeks with his sleeves before making his way down to his little brother and their dogs.

You want me to leave? I’ll leave, Sam challenged in his head and Dean lifted his head to see his brother not moving an inch on the floating dock. Both dogs had jumped in the water to swim around in circles. 

Don’t you fucking dare. I’m coming, you big sap.