#seth is a gryffindor

[tacobacoyeet]

ava. she/her. gemini. gryffindor. brown. inconsistent poster. mediocre author. psychoanalyst. love child of donna paulsen and jessica pearson. patrick zweig artist. both halves of kathani bridgerton. caffeine snob. professional doormat. thinker. d/m-ilf scholar.

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[nhstadler]

A/N: I’m sick at home and feel very sorry for myself so I wrote something a little weird and a little dark and a little different. 

I wasn’t going to share it, but then I thought, maybe some of you might enjoy it, even if it’s turned out slightly strange.

So, here it goes… this is a snippet about post Hogwarts Seth and James (Seth POV) that takes place the night before the “In Another Life” snippet.

I would LOVE to hear what you think.

T H E    P O E M   O F   U S

The lights are low, flickering in the salty breeze that drifts up from the ocean. It’s too dark to see the waves, but I can hear them - rising, falling, crashing, drowning out the tangle of sounds from downstairs. There’s music and laughter and I know I should be a part of it. 

I want to be. 

But I need to take it all in, first. To make it last, make myself remember every little detail, before the night is over, before I can’t get it back.

It’s a little dramatic, but I can’t help feeling the weight of it. The melancholy that lives in nights like this; in the easy laughter and the familiar faces and the old stories that take me back every time. 

I haven’t been home for a year. Which isn’t much, but it feels like it. Like time is moving a little too fast, even as I try to hold on to it. 

“Woodley.”

I hold my breath for a second. For one wave. 

Rising, falling, crashing.

Because I know his voice. 

I think I'll always know it, even when there are a thousand others.

James is standing in the doorway to the veranda with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, not smiling but almost, and, for the smallest moment, it hurts. He is framed by the dim kitchen counter light and it takes my heart a second to remember what my head knows. 

That it’s OK. 

We’re OK.

I don’t exactly know what I’m doing when I push myself away from the railing and walk towards him, but he does the same and we collide in the middle, like a wave. Crashing. I let my arms slide around him, let him pull me closer - into him - until my face is pressed against his chest. Against his old Gryffindor sweatshirt that used to be his dad’s. The one that I gave back to him in a box when it was cold and snowing and we were both crying.  

Everything is so familiar and yet so strange; his warmth, his arms, his scent. I thought I’d forgotten it all but my body hasn’t. It’s melting into him, finding the spot beneath his sternum where my head still fits too perfectly, remembering everything.

James’s head settles on top of mine, tucking me underneath his chin as his arms wrap even tighter around my neck, and it feels like yesterday, when the ocean was wild and I was careless and swam out a little too far and the waves were a little too high.

“Holy Sorceress,” I say as I pull back from him, my palms pressing against his shoulders to bring some distance between him and my clumsy heart. “James Sirius Potter.”

He’s grinning at me and my gaze catches on the corner of his mouth, on his dimple that makes my chest feel too tight. There was once a version of us that was fighting over IKEA furniture in his and Freddie’s empty flat until we were laughing so hard that we ended up on the floor, with me in his lap, running my fingers through his hair. It was hard to let go of those people; of who we were. 

It still is sometimes.

But it’s OK to miss him. Even if he broke my heart.

“I’m glad you lost the man-bun.” I pat his shoulder and he snorts and shakes his head, one hand raking through the dishevelled dark brown strands. It’s so gut-wrenchingly familiar that my heart misses a beat. 

Two beats.

“Oh come on, Woodley.” James gives me his best smile. “I looked smashing.” 

I laugh and it feels real for the first time. Like maybe we can do this after all. Maybe we can assemble the pieces and glue them back together into something else.

“I thought you weren’t coming,” I say as I lead the way back into the kitchen. It’s cold outside and the salty air has crept into my hair, curling the ends and making them frizzy. “Katie said you have practice until late tonight.”

“I did.” He looks at me, his face barely visible in the low light, and I think that he’s going to say more, but he just frowns and then bites his lip, his gaze lingering strangely.  

“You - you look great,” he finally says - quietly, gravelly - and my cheeks feel hot as I think about my hair again. About my jeans and my jumper and about how, for a dumb second, I wish I was wearing my new dress with the strappy back. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Yeah,” I say softly, because it’s true. It’s been more than two years. Two years since I saw him in that hospital bed - in a tangle of IV lines and bloody bandages - and it feels like a different life.

“Gee said you’re a professor already?” He leans against the kitchen island, his arms folded across his chest as a small, lopsided smile curves his mouth. “You little Dumbledore.” 

“Assistant Professor.” I snort and shake my head. Leave it to Genie to completely oversell my phenomenally low-paying gig at a medium-tier university. I wonder what else she’s told James. If he knows about Adam. What he knows about Adam. “I mostly have to grade potentially explosive undergrad projects and teach two very basic introductory level courses.”

“And you love it.” 

“I do.” 

His smile softens to something else - something entirely more disastrous - and I look away. It’s self-preservation. Because, even though I know his smiles and his frowns and everything in between, it doesn’t mean that I’m immune. I fell for him a million times before.

“Congratulations on winning the World Cup, by the way. That last goal was very impressive.”

“You watched?” 

“Yeah.” I brace my hands on the kitchen counter and hop on, looking at my legs as I swing them back and forth. I hadn’t watched a game since the accident. I couldn’t. But it was England against the US and every magical place in Boston was broadcasting it. There’d been no way around it. “Genie was screaming my ear off when you did that fly-jump stunt.” 

James laughs and I can see him untie his arms from the corner of my eye. My heart stopped when he’d launched himself into the air, but I don’t tell him that.

“I’m taking classes at uni again,” he says suddenly and I look up at him again, unable to hide my surprise. He’d given it all up to play professionally. The youngest chaser to ever play for England. He’d fought with his parents that night, with me. I was crying and he stormed off. We’d never been in a fight like that before.

“You do?”

“Yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair, tousling it at the back, looking almost bashful. “Sports science and healing.”

“That’s - I…” I  try to find the right thing to say. I want to tell him that I’m proud of him, but the words get tangled up in my throat. Because it’s not my place anymore. “That’s amazing, James. Really.” 

“After the accident, I thought a lot about what you said to me.” His dark gaze is intense and I wonder if he remembers how he showed up at my dorm at midnight with that deep frown pulling on his beautiful face because he’s always cared too much. We spent an eternity in the cold hallway, wrapped up in each other, whispering promises of never fighting again.

I should have realised it, then. How badly we could hurt each other. How easy it was to break someone’s heart. His heart.

“It’s tough with Quidditch and everything, but I really like it.” James’s mouth slides into a devastating half-smile as he pushes himself away from the kitchen island. “Potions is still kicking my arse, though. I could use a good tutor.”

He’s coming closer and my chest is rising. Falling. 

Like waves in the darkness. 

“Can you remember our first tutoring session?” I ask, pressing my hands against the counter, my fingers curled around the edge of the wooden surface.

Rising. Falling.

“I remember everything, Seth.” His voice is low and raspy and he is so close. 

Rising. Falling. Crashing. 

I am the wave and he is the tide.

Pulling me out into the dark ocean. 

[thequietgryffindor]

Introducing Zinnia Marie Tarbeck, the sarcastic Ravenclaw, Astronomy nerd, and Mattheo Riddle’s love!

Character Profile

Full Name: Zinnia Marie Tarbeck

Nicknames: Zin, Star (by her father :))

Birthday: September 19, 1980, Virgo Monkey (shares the same birthday as French astronomer and mathematician Jean Baptiste Joseph Delambre

Age: Depends

Blood Status: Half-blood

House: Ravenclaw

Wand: Pine wand, Thestral hair core, 12 3/4” in length, unyielding flexibility

Patronus: Owl

Strengths: ambitious, honest, intelligent, clever, funny, sarcastic, caring

Neutral: mysterious, introverted

Weaknesses: secretive, reclusive, occasionally selfish, critical

Likes: astronomy, reading, history, stargazing, math

Dislikes: ignorance, flying, blood prejudice

Best Subject: Astronomy, Arithmancy, History of Magic

Worst Subject: Flying (ironic lol)

Year 3-5 Options: Ancient Runes, Arithmancy

Extra Curricular: Astronomy Club

Pet: An owl named Saturn

Facelaim: Taylor Russell (teenager), Gugu Mbatha Raw (adult)

Fun (or Not so Fun) Facts

Although Zinnia may appear serious and stoic to people who do not know her, her closest friends and family members see a completely different side of her which is surprisingly funny and goofy.

Despite being the daughter of a famous Quidditch player, Zinnia has a strong dislike for flying. She gets recognized as Aquilina’s daughter a lot and people are surprised that she does not like flying.

Zinnia has insomnia and thus struggles to get a good night’s sleep. If she can’t sleep, she often spends the night reading or watching the night sky. She used to sleepwalk as a child but claims to have no memory of it.

Zinnia grew up in a cottage on the countryside. They are the only few magical folk who live there. She has very fond memories of spending time with her family outdoors.

Family & Friends

Mother: Aquilina (née Martin) Tarbeck (fc: Amanda Seyfried, vc: Minnie Driver)

Gryffindor

Pureblood only child

Flying Professor at Hogwarts

She played on the Gryffindor Quidditch team as a Seeker

Labeled a "blood traitor" in pureblood society for marrrying, Zinnia's father, a half-blood

Sometimes Zinnia and her mother don't see eye to eye and will argue but Aquilina truly loves both of her children who in turn love her

Loyal Member of the Order of the Phoenix

Father: Idris Tarbeck (I have not decided on a faceclaim)

Ravenclaw

Poet and Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor

He is good friends with Remus Lupin and Sirius Black

Loyal Member of the Order of the Phoenix

He and Aquilina met at a party being thrown by Gryffindor house after a great Quidditch win. Idris and his friends were not allowed there. Idris spotted her and immediately thought she was beautiful. Aquilina knew he wasn’t supposed there and playfully threatened to rat him out but Idris charms her into letting him stay though she would have done so anyway because she found him so attractive.

Idris calls Zinnia “Star” because of her love for astronomy.

Younger Brother: Seth Tarbeck (fc for older Seth: Kit Young)

Born June 4, 1984, Gemini Rat

Gryffindor

Loves Herbology & Care for Magical Creatures

Loves animals of all kinds and nature

Loves taking nature walks and camping with his family.

Loves talking to people, whether they are magical or Muggles

Likes to collect trinkets that he finds at random places. If he likes you, he’ll let you have one.

Has a pet frog

Eventually follows in his mother’s footsteps and joins the Quidditch team

Like many siblings, Zinnia and Seth fight at times. Zinnia is sometimes irritated by Seth’s stubbornness and naïveté and might end up upsetting him to the point where he won’t speak to her for a while. Zinnia still very much loves her brother and will be extremely distraught if anything bad happened to him.

First Cousin Once Removed: Camilla Martin (fc: Léa Seydoux

Aquilina's cousin on her father's side

Slytherin

Deatheater sworn to Voldemort

When they were young, she and Aquilina were very close, acting almost like sisters

Camilla resented Aquilina for betraying their family--and her--but as the Second Wizardung War wages on, she begins to understand her actions

Zinnia is aware that her mother is not on great terms with her family so does not interact with them, including Camilla. She is extremely wary towards them due to their allegiance to Voldemort and hatred for her mother.

Rival/Love Interest: Mattheo Riddle (fc: Benjamin Wadsworth)

Slytherin

Son of the Dark Lord, Tom Riddle aka Voldemort

Zinnia and Mattheo started out as bitter rivals but after spending time together, start to have feelings for one another

Mattheo was probably intrigued by Zinnia's mysterious nature and wanted to get to the bottom of it but winds up getting more than he bargained for

Their budding romance is put to the test however due to the Second Wizarding War that puts Zinnia's family in grave danger

Divider art credit goes to @cafekitsune. Thank you!

[put-me-in-a-movie-mp3]

Hi I am not sure if you still do ships....But yeah if you are still doing can you do for stranger things, Harry Potter, IT, twilight ,Wednesday,Marvel and Percy Jackson maybe? I know it's a lot but ....PLEASE

I don't exactly know who to ship with so ...

Appearance: I have big round brown eyes and hair just below the upper back .. I am 5,1 with lean or nearly fit hourglass figure and have South Indian brown skin tone.....blackish brown hair and oval face and I have a lot of moles (the one near the eyebrow is like signature mole maybe) and scars (Mostly from fighting with my bro...it tens to get violent 😭😭) .....I have small hands and small feet...

Personality: Typical INFJ....I prefer to be alone but when I was supposed to interact with others I get extroverted... And I don't shy away from making new friends or talking to strangers.....Basically an ambivert ..I am very bold and confident about myself....loves adventures and challenges like bungee jumping and risking my life ......sometimes impulsive......tend to be talkative and like to annoy the people I like....And I am VERY LOYAL.......And expect the same from others too .....Yeah it's a lot to expect..... And I am basically like boyish things (According to fellow strangers) like MARVEL,video games,anime ..... I like K-pop too..........I like to learn and try new things..

Likes: MUSIC(CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT) ...mostly K-pop ,emo rock,pop,and melody songs...,Ice cream, Cats(I can't live without cats), chocolate ,food(I am a sucker for chicken fried rice) ,sleep, read(Obviously 🙄) ,dance , sing, draw,...

Dislike: Not very loyal people,Cheaters, Bullies, Beetroot, rude people

And I tend to be good at everything I do...like I am top in my studies,can draw,paint,dance,sing,etc.. and I am very passionate and driven towards my goals and anything I DO

Hogwarts house: Gryffindor...(A close call with Slytherin)

Favorite color: It changes every 6 years but always black 🖤, and currently I am in my Blue 💙 phase

Can you make me one ?

Its been a hot ass minute, but I am back and deciding to finish the requests! <3

Stranger Things: Eddie Munson <3

Now by far, I would have to say he is perfect for you. I mean perfect. Let's be real, he would be obsessed with you. Eddie talks a lot, you talk a lot, which is great. You both match each others energy perfectly. You both love the same bands and wear almost all black. At school, you guys stand out. Mostly because you guys are the only couple wearing all black to school (everyday). You guys would happen to find a stray cat somewhere and you would beg him to let you keep. Eddie, not being able to say no to you. Obviously says yes. It would be a black kitten that you guys name Raven. Another thing is at school, you hate Billy Hargrove. You despise him, mostly because he is known for being a cheater, but also because he is just a prick. If he were to ever mess with your friends or god forbidden Eddie, all hell will break loose.

Harry Potter: Fred Weasley

Fred is a goofball that just so happens to fall in love with you. Partially because you match his energy as well. You both love to pull pranks on people and be goofy all the time. At the great hall when you guys are eating, you are loud and laughing and you get everyone to join in the conversation. At the end of the meal, everyone at the table is dying laughing. Partially because Fred thought it would be a good idea to start a food fight. His target being the one and only Draco Malfoy. You and Fred love to watch movies together, stargaze, and take adventures around Hogwarts (mostly after hours when your not suppose to be out of your dorms).

Twilight: Seth Clearwater

You and Seth were unsure of each other first. Or at least he was unsure of you. Everyone in his life is older and serious, he is still in high school trying to figure everything out. Trying to live a normal life while there are a bunch of vampires going batshit. You and him find each other and guys are each others peace. He makes you feel so safe and you're always there to comfort him. He is confused on where his life is going and doesn't have a good family to connect with. You are his home and he adores everything about you.

Wednesday: Enid Sinclair

You and Enid match each others personalities so well. Enid never really met someone that is an exact replica of herself. The confidence, talkativeness, kindness, and someone that is actually funny. You two are a power couple. There is never a dull moment. You would naturally be there for Enid 110%. Since she has had a hard time becoming full werewolf, you are always there to comfort her through it since it has been her biggest insecurity. You make her feel so special and loved like she never has. You constantly measure that everything will be okay. Enid definitely goes out of her way to give you flowers and stick sweet little notes that you find throughout you day. She is defiantly a romantic and ever since Ajax, she was heartbroken. You completely fixed her.

[golbrocklovely]

What Harry Potter hogwarts house would you say Sam, Colby, Nate and Seth are?

And if you are willing, what house would you say you are?

snc would be in gryffindor, nate would be in ravenclaw, and seth would be in slytherin. idk why but i feel like that's right lol

and like i said in a previous ask, i'm a hufflepuff :)

[qrimsonfic]

“Look, Seth, what is going on back with our families? I haven’t heard anything from mine since the Sorting and I know something’s up, I know it. Everyone over by you is looking at me with bloody miserable expressions and I know—” “Of course we are. You’re the first Black in decades not to go into Slytherin. The first Black in recorded history to go into Gryffindor. Of course everyone is talking.” “But not to me,” Sirius hated the way he sounded: needy, pleading, weak. “I’ve been frozen out.” “Well, then I guess you should have thought of that possibility when the Sorting Hat was on your head.” Seth stepped back, surveying him. “I don’t know what was in your mind that put you in Gryffindor, but I know that you’re a Slytherin at the core. Or at least I thought I did.”

Congratulations, Gentlemen, a Marauders origin story

[rgrettes]

Twilight Goes Hogwarts: Seth Clearwater || Gryffindor (1/?)

[blameitonthegirl]

Seth Gordon is a Gryffindor.

Change my mind.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Hehe. That is how they are MOST of the time, but bear in mind that Erik defaults to murder for defence (stop AutoCorrecting you dumb tablet I told you I'm Canadian now!) very quickly - pushing people in front of buses for giving poor people fake money, almost calling St. George, and, of course, the Highchair Incident. For two of those, Maggie is the one grabbing him and telling him to stop. For the other, nothing short of divine intervention prevented it.

He's also very good at convincing other people to murder - he got Seth and Room 101 to help him run the Lu-ambulator. The kid is capable of consolidating power and willing to do it before he even turns ten - and that hat doesn't do nuance! You convinced two people to go on a murder spree? Welcome to the Snake House!

Maggie, on the other hand, has internalized her mother's meticulously maintained belief that killing is for war and human life is too precious to be taken for personal reasons. Maiming is okay, in self-defence, but killing is an absolute last resort. By age eleven, she has a code of honour and sticks to it - very like the twins, who are moral in their mischief-making. Erik refrains from mass destruction because it would make the people he loves sad, an external motivation that is prone to spectacular failure.

Maggie will give you a chance, and you'll probably survive her wrath. If nobody's looking, Erik won't. And you'll probably be dead. (He takes after his dad!)

But he'd be miserable in Slytherin. Maggie could get by in Gryffindor, but given a choice she'll refrain. That hat ain't shit.

Nobody Goes to Hogwarts (Yes, the frog writes fanfic)

If you don't want a vicious Harry Potter deconstruction, do not click. I am serious, this is for your own mental health, angry fans. If you yell at me, you will boost my content with the algorithm. I don't want your attention and you don't want me to be seen, so our goals align. Just walk away.

I started this during Rowling's meltdown, for funsies, and then it got so bad that I quit. This was always meant to be a critical take on the Wizarding World, but I decided it was better not to name-check its author or prod the hornets' nest of her offended fans. So I did one and only outlined the rest. I got hit with a poll asking if I'd ever written fanfic, and I'm thinking about how people get discouraged and stop sharing their work, so now I'm putting it out here anyway. Potter's not going away, so we might as well deconstruct the hell out of it.

These are my characters from my story, which is firmly post-Potter. I put them in her world to see how badly people like them would frig it up. I'll write the rest if anybody want's that - it's fun for me! let me know! - but I'll summarize at the bottom, for the curious.

The one I wrote is for Hyacinth, and it's set in 1945 - they are wizards, so I had to spread their ages out a bit. (I don't really know how living for hundreds of years works in Potter, and neither does Rowling, so just roll with it.) She would've been a Hufflepuff, but she never got sorted, and this is why:

Barnaby leaned against the doorway and folded his arms. “Running away from home are we?” he said. “That’s a lovely hat for it. You look as if you’re about to deny the murder of your third husband.”

“It’s Tabby’s.” She adjusted it. It gave the abstract impression of a black swan with lace trimmings and a veil. “And I am not running away,” said the little blonde girl with the suitcase. She balled up another pair of stockings and stuffed them inside. There was also a full load of comic books, a painting of a bullfight, and she seemed to be stealing one of David’s smaller musical automatons, but she had neglected to pack any dresses. She wasn’t wearing one either, but she had put on a simple linen slip and some shoes and stockings, along with the hat. “I am going to school. I got my letter.” She held up the envelope.

The gentleman plucked it from her fingers and regarded it. “Hogwarts. Aren’t you a little old for Hogwarts, Alice?”

“My name is not Alice. They said it’s all right because of my injury.” She knocked her hand on the side of her head.

“I suppose this is your parents’ doing?”

“Beats me, and I don’t think I care,” she replied. “If I need anything signed, I’ll put David’s name on it. One of his names, anyway. He taught me how to sign all of them. I’m stealing some of his money, and I’ll stop by Diagon Alley and buy myself a wand. I don’t think he’ll notice.”

“I don’t think he’ll notice the money, but he might notice when you don’t show up for dinner a few days in a row.”

She shrugged. “I’ll write him.” She paused with her hands in the suitcase. “Do you think I ought to have an owl? I don’t know if I’m really an owl person. I suppose a cat wouldn’t carry a letter, but how about a kangaroo? You know, with the pocket.”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure David would be happy to buy you one if you gave him an excuse, so please refrain.” He sat on the bed next to the suitcase and held up the letter. “You do know I went to Hogwarts, don’t you? Briefly.”

She closed the suitcase and set it on the floor. “I thought you and David were Beauxbatons boys.”

Barnaby winced. “Yes. Although I’m not sure David was authorized to be there, he may just have decided he wanted to go and showed up. If I’d read my tea leaves a little more closely, I might’ve stayed at Hogwarts and left him alone, but I don’t think I would’ve been very happy there. I doubt anyone is capable of bossing you around and I’m not about to try, but I don’t think you would be happy there either, Hyacinth.”

“What? Because of their stupid hat? I’ve got a better one.” She tugged on the veil. “Maybe they’ll fall in love and have baby bonnets. Besides, I don’t care if they put me in Slytherin. I don’t mind being evil. I’ll make the best of it. David does.”

“I think you’re more Hufflepuff material, but it’s not that,” he said. “Do you know they have house elves at Hogwarts?”

“House elves?” said Hyacinth, blinking. “Plural? Just two or lots?”

“Lots,” Barnaby said, nodding.

She began to grin. She clutched both hands to her face and then threw her arms in the air and cried, “Hooray!” She spun a joyful circle. The veil lifted away and her hair flew. “They can’t do any schooling at all if they’ve got multiple house elves, Barnaby! Why didn’t you stay? Were they more annoying than David?”

He sighed. “I never saw them, Hyacinth. Not one.”

She planted both hands on her hips and leaned forward. “Barnaby, I know you’re dumb, but you’re not dumb enough to let multiple house elves whiz past you. Don’t you even remember stepping over their weird art projects? Were they all into transcendental meditation or something quiet?”

Barnaby pointed at her. “You think all house elves are like Tabby and Herringbone, don’t you?”

Hyacinth took off her spectacular hat. “Well, I’m not racist, Barnaby. I don’t think they all paint matadors and do fashion design, but they’re both very single-minded and odd and proud of it. David would only want the best house elves around. Is there something wrong with the other ones?”

“Oh, dear-oh, dear-oh, dear,” said Barnaby. He shook his head. “This isn’t the sort of conversation I’d like to have sober, but Herring basically lives under the drinks cart when he’s not painting, and if we go into the kitchen Tabby is going to dress us and feed us — and I think they’d both be embarrassed to hear me talk about it. Hyacinth, let me sit here and explain about house elves and then if you still want to go to Hogwarts I’ll take you to Diagon Alley myself and we’ll get you a kangaroo. All right?”

She plunked down on the bed next to him and drew up her legs. Her expression was grave. “Well?”

“House elves are,” he began, and then he didn’t know how to finish. He looked up and pointed out the door, in Tabby and Herringbone’s general direction. “Well, first off, they are not like Tabby and Herring! They are quiet. They cook and they clean and that’s basically it.”

“What about in their off hours?”

“They don’t have off hours, Hyacinth!” He shook his head. “They claim they don’t want any. It’s cultural. That’s like an insult. And they don’t want money, and you can’t give them any clothes, that’s like firing them… Only it’s worse than firing them because…” He put his head in his hands and raked his fingers back through his thinning hair. “Let me start again: Hyacinth, house elves are property.”

“Don’t be stupid,” she said. “You can’t own a person.”

“But we don’t treat them like people and they’re fine with it,” Barnaby said. “I mean, Tabby and Herring aren’t — not anymore — but to the best of my knowledge they’re the only ones like that. My family had one as I was growing up and I barely saw her. And I’m the third child, so I won’t get her when my mother dies, my older brother will. A house elf is like a dinette set.”

He shut his eyes. “No, a house elf is like a slave, and they’re happy to be that way. When David gave Tabby and Herring clothes, they were miserable. They were ashamed. And they kept following him around anyway because they had no idea what else to do with themselves. They were like that when I knew him in school, two tiny people in perfect little outfits who lived under his bed and cried a lot.”

“Why did he dress them up if they didn’t want…” She put up her hand. “No, that’s a stupid question. He does whatever he wants, I already know that.”

“They usually wear tea towels and things and he thought they looked shabby,” Barnaby said. “I have no idea where he got them, you know how he is with his stories and they back him up no matter what he says, but he thought they looked shabby so he put them in clothes and they disintegrated. Emotionally. He told them he didn’t want them to leave and he’d take care of them as long as they wanted, but they didn’t believe him. He used to feed them.”

“What, like, with a spoon?”

“No, more like pets. He put plates down on the floor near his bed and every once in a while you’d see a wrinkly little hand come out and take something. The first time I saw it happen I damn near had a heart attack. I thought we had a gnome infestation or something. But he picked up the bedskirt and showed me his house elves. They even had little shoes — I mean, you know what they look like. They live here. But they’re not supposed to look like that. Tabby liked fruit salads. He used to steal them from the dining hall for her, but she’d only eat if she didn’t think we were looking.”

Barnaby sat back on the bed. “I’d known David ten years before Herringbone produced his first bullfight painting, and it was fifteen before Tabby sort of delicately asked if she could have a fashion magazine. And I have no idea how long he had them before I met him!”

“So the ones at Hogwarts just haven’t had enough time,” said Hyacinth. She frowned. “And maybe little shoes. Do they need me to bring them little shoes, Barnaby? I’m happy to do it. Tabby always says a new outfit can make you into a new person, but I thought it was a metaphor.”

“They wouldn’t take the little shoes, Hyacinth,” Barnaby said. “You’d have to force them, like David, and they wouldn’t thank you for it. They wouldn’t even consider themselves yours, so I’m not sure what they’d do. They might all march into the lake and drown themselves out of despair. They are happy being slaves and they don’t know anything else. There’s a reason Tabby and Herring don’t have any house elf friends, it’s not just their taste. They’re outcasts, because the others literally do not understand how they can be that way, and they don’t understand the others anymore.”

Hyacinth tented her fingers against her mouth. Barnaby was aware that he did this himself in his more pensive moods and felt oddly flattered. “So we have to wait until they have children, however long that takes, and make sure the kids grow up knowing they have choices and opportunities and they can go to Hogwarts too,” she said. “I think they all ought to have scholarships, Barnaby. And they should get their parents’ back pay!”

“Hyacinth, this has been going on longer than recorded history. If they do have children, and I assume they must, they end up just like the parents.”

Hyacinth slapped a hand on the mattress. It bounced. “But they live with us!” she said. “Why aren’t they forgetting their culture and picking their favourite bits of ours to copy? Like we stole Christmas and curry!”

“I don’t know, Hyacinth,” he said. “But nobody’s extremely keen to find out because they work for free.”

“So what we have here,” said Hyacinth, “is an entire race of people consigned to a lifetime of servitude, right up until someone decides to dress them in clothes, and then it’s like they wake up and they have no idea what to do, even though they’ve seen how other people live freely.”

“Yes, rather.”

“And they can, in fact, learn how to live freely themselves, but not until someone dresses them up, then it’s like they’re starting over from square one.”

“Yes.”

“As if they were under a spell,” said Hyacinth acidly. “Not unlike one of those curses that gets you locked up in Azkaban, except nobody does anything about this one because it gets them a free cleaning service?”

Barnaby rubbed his eyes with both hands. “You’ve put it a bit more bluntly than I would, but I still feel badly I didn’t do anything about Hopscotch.”

“This would be your house elf you grew up with?”

“Yes. I mean, to be fair, I had no idea Tabby and Herringbone were possible back then. It’s only since I’ve seen them grow up that I wonder about poor Hoppy, but I’m not allowed to go back and get her. Legally.”

“Because she’s property,” said Hyacinth, practically melting her way through the bed.

“She’s rather attached to my mother too, she does have feelings!” Barnaby cried. He sighed and looked away. “She’s a person with feelings.”

“We’ll wait until your mother dies then,” said Hyacinth, in a matter-of-fact tone that Barnaby found borderline offensive, but not as offensive as slavery. “But Hogwarts owns their elves and they could free them and pay for a good alienist anytime they wanted and they don’t.”

“I’ve written them letters but they never reply,” Barnaby said. “They printed the one David and I sent to the Daily Prophet but they called us both crackpots and sexual deviants.” He laid a dignified hand on his chest, “I am not a sexual deviant. I just don’t give myself airs when other people are.”

Hyacinth picked up the suitcase and threw it on the bed. “Looks like David will be paying for my private tutors at least until I’m old enough for the W.O.M.B.A.T.s.” she said. “I’m perfectly happy being held to a lower standard in education, I have better things to do than school, I just thought I might like a wand and a kangaroo. I’m glad nobody knows where the hell David came from with his money and my family is in no way respectable.”

“Your family is quite ancient and respectable, Hyacinth,” Barnaby said, blinking,

“Those twits at the estate in Devonshire are not my family,” Hyacinth said. “They decided they’d rather be respectable than have a matched set of daughters, so to hell with them. I’m going to go give Tabby and Herring a big hug!”

“Hyacinth!” Barnaby called after her. “If you don’t put on a dress, Tabby will tie you up and stuff you into one of hers!”

“This time, I’ll let her!” Hyacinth yelled back.

[Well, I think that formatted all right! As for the rest of the Hyacinth's House Mob: Barnaby got sorted into Ravenclaw in 1914 and got ejected for cheating - he made it obvious because he preferred the future where he ends up at Beauxbatons, little knowing it would include David. Room 101 broke the sorting hat with, er... his/her/their/it's abilities, in 1931. Mordecai fed a Malfoy a bar of soap on the train, was horrified wizards don't seem to know who Hitler is in 1933, stalled the hat, and fled in terror after being assigned Gryffindor. Sanaam (Ravenclaw, never sorted) ran into the Forbidden Forest to have a look at the animals, in 1950, and never came back. The General got sorted into Slytherin in 1952, contrary to her wishes, and demanded to know why they have an evil house, before choosing to continue her education with her abusive mother. Milo (Gryffindor, never sorted) got dumped in St. Mungo's in 1977, due to his significant issues, because Hogwarts doesn't do special education or accommodate disabilities. Calliope (Ravenclaw, never sorted) chose not to answer her owl for similar reasons in 1978, although her whole family is wacky so they don't parse autism and ADHD as disabilities. Maggie (Gryffindor, never sorted) also chose not to answer her owl after some discussion about the virtues of resisting the system from within versus refusing to participate. Erik got sorted into Slytherin in 1992, and was dragged home by a horrified Mordecai after writing one letter home about how all the "pureblood supremacy" wasn't much fun. Lucy got sorted Ravenclaw in 2000 and got dragged home by Calliope after writing one letter home about how there weren't any art classes. And, finally, in 2006, Dave (also a potential Ravenclaw) did not answer his owl for reasons which will become obvious, but are a bit spoilery for my readers. By that point, Hyacinth's house would have advanced owl defences anyway, so I might've been able to cite that as a quick gag without ruining the surprise.

But I haven't written any of that out for real. I will do so ONLY if you tempt me! I really wanted to do Mordecai's, that one would probably be the longest. "...Oh, I'm only a bit worried because I'm Jewish, that's all!" "What sort of a wizard is that?" "...It's a bit like an Animagus. When the stars are right, I have the ability to turn into a pastrami sandwich." "Let's see it." "Can't, I haven't had my Bar Mitzvah yet. ...Here, have another one of these Muggle candy bars, Mr. Malfoy."]

[blogthefiresidechats]

5 Recommendations for Gryffindor's

5 Recommendations for Gryffindor’s

Are you a Gryffindor or do you consider yourself a Gryffindor? The following 5 books are suggestions, from me, for people from the house of Godric Gryffindor. Each books is from a different genre to appeal to different tastes. Synopsis: At the tail-end of the Civil War, the United States was in the grip of an internal struggle many thought it would never see the end of. Moral and political…

[ofhouseadama]

the shield + hogwarts houses

[obsessing-over-fictionn]

pt. three of things i gathered while reading nora's extra content

parts one and two and four

[tws: non-consensual sex, torture, abuse, waterboarding, suicide]

- andrew's first consensual kiss happened when he was in juvie

- neil prefers fruits over vegetables !

- andrew likes eating things that can be eaten in small bites

- andrew went by 'aj' while living with cass

- the original andrew had a brain disorder that meant he could only remember things short-term

- renee first found out about andrew's attraction to neil, but kevin figured out neil's attraction and andreil's mutual interest

- nora believes that if andrew had named the cats, they would answer to "cat 1/ cat 2" and " stupid"

- nicky chose the name 'sir fat cat mccatterson' for one of neil and andrew's cats

- nora said that andrew forgot how to scream when he was a child

- in a previous draft, when nicky found out that neil and andrew hadn't slept together yet, he made them a how-to guide

- if andrew ever were to smile genuinely, it would only ever be in front of neil

- if ichiro ever killed andrew, neil josten would cease to exist and nathaniel wesninski would return

- if neil ended up dying under nathan's hand, especially if he hadn't gotten andrew to retract his protection promise, andrew would never let anyone in ever again

- he would be joyless, from neil's death to andrew's own and would spend his life watching out for kevin, but only because of the promises he made

- in the hypothetical that neil would die, jean would also return to the ravens after his injuries healed

- dan, riko, and neil are the only people who have stayed throughout all of the aftg drafts with the same names that they started with

- nora has a personal headcanon that andrew and neil learn russian to have their own private language that the cousins don't kno

- the foxes' harry potter houses according to nora would be

- dan, matt, allison, neil - gryffindor

- nicky, renee - hufflepuff

- aaron - ravenclaw

- andrew, kevin, seth - slytherin

- it took matt, renee, and wymack to pull andrew off of kevin after they learned neil had been taken to baltimore

- kevin likes history and classical music

- basically he's an old man /j

- kevin later learns how to play the piano

- kev's favorite color is red and his favorite season is fall

- "When Nicky picked up pints for everyone, he got Andrew whichever one looked like it had the highest sugar content, cookie dough for himself, mint chocolate chip for Aaron, vanilla bean for Kevin, and espresso for Neil. I can see Neil liking vanilla too because Neil likes boring plain things." - nora about the cousin's favorite ice cream

- dan and kevin were originally going to be bffs !!

- andrew would refuse to kiss beneath mistletoe

- the raven are even more gross than i previously thought and it turns out they often sleep with each other

- like. do the dirty

- it's gross

- foxes favorite music genres:

- nicky likes EDM(electric dance music), renee enjoys epic orchestral pieces, matt likes loud rock, seth likes NIN & Disturbed(whatever that is), allison and dan enjoy pop, though dan also likes nickelback, kevin likes classical, and andrew likes music that's too loud to think

- nora doesn't know what aaron and neil's would be

- "If I tried to list everything Riko did to Jean over the years, I’d never get to sleep tonight, so we’ll have to settle for some random examples. Here are a few numbers for you:

- Six: the number of fingers Jean’s had broken over the years. Three: the number he was ordered to break himself for Riko’s amusement. Zero: the number of days he was allowed to miss practice for these injuries.

- Four: the number of times Riko pushed Jean down a flight of stairs in Evermore. Two: the number of times Jean didn’t ball up fast enough and bashed his head open on the concrete.

- Two hundred and sixty-six: the total number of stitches Jean needed while under Riko’s supervision, not including the ones he received after Kengo’s death.

- Ten: the number of times Riko tried waterboarding Jean. Once to see if it was as effective and traumatizing as the news made it out to be. Nine more times because it really, really was.

- Sixteen: the age Jean was when Riko first ordered another Raven to fuck him. ((Riko will not engage in anything homosexual himself, but he is not above inflicting sexual trauma on others via others. See: Drake. See: Proust.))

- Five: the number of times Riko passed Jean around. “Only” five, because four: the number of times Jean whispered Please don’t do this to me; four: the number of times Riko hit him for insubordination and ignored that haunted look in Jean’s eyes. The fifth time Jean didn’t break his own heart by fighting back. The fifth time he let the other Raven into his bed without a word or token protest, and that was boring as fuck, so Riko didn’t orchestrate a sixth demonstration.

- One: the number of drafts in which Jean does not commit suicide.

- If Renee hadn’t stolen Jean from the Ravens & Neil hadn’t bought his safety: one hundred: the chance Jean would commit suicide graduation night." - nora about the abuse jean went through under riko's hand

[sethrollinsgirl]

Title: Tis the Spooky season

Summary: You, Becky, and Seth brainstorm ideas for Halloween.

You walked into the living room where you knew both of your significant others would be. The scene before you didn't surprise you. Your boyfriend Seth was sitting in his favorite chair playing madden and your girlfriend Becky was sitting on the couch reading a book. Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch and you have been dating for three years now. The three of you were very happy. You met them when you got drafted to Raw from smackdown and became fast friends.

"We need to start thinking about our Halloween Costumes. You got any ideas?" You asked them as you moved to sit next to Becky on the couch. You knew you still had some time before Halloween but you've been on tick tock and that's all the videos you've been seeing were about.

"It's way too early to start thinking about Halloween. It isn't for another three months, so do we really have to decide this now?" Becky asked you as she sat the book she was reading on the coffee table in front of her. Seth who overheard your conversation paused the game he was playing and turned to look over at you with a smile.

"I vote for Harry Potter. I can be a Slytherin, Becky can be a Gryffindor, and you could be a Hufflepuff." Seth told you as he stood up and moved to sit next to you on the couch. You rolled your eyes at him. The three of you were that last year, there was no way you are gonna be that again this year.

"We are not doing Harry Potter, we were that last year! Becky, please back me up on this!" You asked her. You didn't want to be Hogwarts students again, you didn't even want to do it the first time.

"She's right, we were Harry Potter last year. We aren't doing that again this year" Becky told them before biting her lip and trying to think of a costume idea. She still thought it was way too early to think about Halloween. We were still in August, Halloween wasn't for a couple of months. But if her girlfriend and boyfriend were gonna do this, might as well throw some ideas out there as well.

"Okay, what about ketchup and mustard and a hot dog?" Becky asked you and Seth. You both shook your head.

"What about Poison ivy, the joker, and Harley Quinn?" Seth suggested to the two of you. Becky was okay with that idea, you on the other hand was only okay with it if you got to be the Joker.

"I'm okay with being the joker, I would look awesome as the joker." You told them as you crossed your arms across your chest and leaned back into the couch.

"No, if we are doing that one I want to be the joker," Seth said slightly glaring at you with a pout on his face. "Besides you would make a way hotter Harley. Plus you kinda act like her" Seth said muttering the last part. You threw the throw pillow that was next to Becky at him, it ended up hitting him in the face.

"Case in point. Thank you for proving my point." Seth told you as he smiled and quickly moved to sit next to Becky to avoid getting hit again.

"What about Ariel, Prince Eric, and Ursula," You asked them but they immediately shot it down.

"No, Prince Eric sucks. So does the little mermaid. I still think we should be Joker, Harley, and Poison Ivy." Seth complained. He kissed Becky's cheek before resting his head on Becky's shoulder.

"No, you don't!" You started to say, you knew what Seth was doing. He was trying to butter Becky up so she would agree with his idea. Well, two can play at that game, you thought as you stood up basically pushing yourself onto Becky's lap. You wrapped your arms around her neck as you laid your head on her chest. "Becky, baby don't you think you would be a great Ariel? Instead of Poison Ivy?"

Becky laughed at the both of you. She tightened her hold around your waist as she kissed your cheek. "I got a better idea. What if we three dress up as the three stooges?"

Seth and you shared a look, you both knew that wasn't gonna happen. You sighed as you leaned in to kiss Becky's lips before standing up. "Okay Becks, we can be the three stooges next year. This year we will be Harley, Ivy, and joker." You reluctantly said. It was better than the three stooges, that's for sure.

Seth walked over to you pulling you into a quick kiss. "Yes, I knew you would see things my way! You are gonna make a smoking hot Harley Quinn. "

You smirked at him and nodded. "I would make a sexy Harley Quinn, but I'm gonna make an even better Joker."

You noticed the smile fall off his face as you left the room chuckling to yourself.

"Any idea on how to get her to give that idea up?" Seth asked as he turned to Becky. Becky shook her head as she grabbed her book from the coffee table.

"I already helped you get your way with the Halloween costume, this one you are on your own," Becky told him as she went back to her book. Never a dull moment with her two lovers.

(A/N I don't own anything but the plot. I hope you enjoyed reading. Thank you :).

[nhstadler]

A/N: Hey all, here’s a tiny little James POV holiday snippet to say thank you for all the lovely reviews and likes. I didn’t want to post it at first because nothing really happens, but maybe some of you enjoy it nonetheless. I hope you’re all well and made it through the festive season unscathed :). Thanks for your support and love and general brilliance. 

‘T I S   T H E   S E A S O N

I almost kissed her.

Shit.

I want to groan and bury my head in my hands, but I can’t, of course. Not with my entire family racketing around the table like they have all gone batshit and Celestina Warbeck crooning about cauldrons full of hot, strong love.

“We danced to this when we were young, Arthur. Do you remember?” Grandma says, like she does every year, and the smile she gives Grandpa, who is half-falling asleep at the table, also like every year, makes me want to hug both of them.

The kitchen in the Burrow is crammed. More than usual. The unshapely dining table is really just a collection of half a dozen haphazardly arranged smaller tables, covered with an oversized tablecloth, and I can feel an odd table leg digging into my shin. 

It used to be bigger - it felt bigger. Now, I’m wedged in between Freddie and Teddy and, even though we all sit with our shoulders slightly hunched and our arms pressed to our sides, we can barely move without shoving each other.

I almost kissed her. 

On the cold grounds in the snow with my heart slipping as it struggled to keep in time.

“Oi, Herbie!” 

I snap my head up to see a black shape barrel across the table, recklessly knocking over glasses and candles before it leaps straight onto my lap.

Lilly’s arshole cat who hates everyone but me is nuzzling his fluffy head into my stomach, giving absolutely no shits about having just caused a minor fire in his wake. Uncle Ron puts it out with an overambitious Aguamenti charm that floods half the table, earning himself a round of applause from Dad and Uncle George while Aunt Hermionie is busy minimising the damage. 

Celestina’s voice is still howling from Grandma’s ancient radio, the music seeping into the general din of conversations and laughter that fill the kitchen. But I know all the words by heart. I could sing You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me with an entire bottle of firewhiskey in my system and not miss a line.

I almost kissed her. 

I wanted to.

She was waiting for me in the hospital wing - in Hagrid’s awful plaid blanket and the too large wellies - and I let her go. Because I’m a fucking coward. 

Gryffindor my arse. 

“So, James.” Rose leans over Teddy, tucking her auburn hair behind her ears like she means business. “I’ve heard some wild things about you at Beaux.”

“You did?” I arch an eyebrow at her as Herbie curls up in my lap, his little paws playing with the hem of my jumper. It’s maroon, with a slightly wonky J across the front, and it matches my equally chunky socks. Grandma went all out this year. 

“Yeah, are you actually failing Potions?” 

I snort and shake my head because, of course, of all the rumours that could have reached her across the English Channel, Rose, the wonderful creature, is concerned about my abysmal grades.

“I’m not,” I say, even though that’s not entirely true. “Who the fuck told you that?”

“Don’t worry, Rosie.” Freddie digs his shoulder into my side as he leans in, looking entirely too happy with himself. “He’s got a brilliant tutor, don’t you Jamie?” He slaps my back and I want to kill him; just a little bit.

“Yeah.” I sigh and my mind slips back to that one moment when I realised just how fucked I really am; when I asked Seth about Potions and she told me about having to earn the magic and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. “I do.”

[theaskywalker]

The Wolf Pack as Hogwarts Houses

Sam Uley: Hufflepuff 🦨

Jared Cameron: Slytherin 🐍

Paul Lahote: Gryffindor 🦁

Embry Call: Ravenclaw 🦅

Jacob Black: Gryffindor 🦁

Quil Ateara: Gryffindor 🦁

Leah Clearwater: Slytherin 🐍

Seth Clearwater: Hufflepuff 🦨

Masterlist

[stella-my-nella]

we’ve been watching Deadwood and really i’m only here for the dialogue and the fact that this episode i’ve decided Al Swearengen is a slytherin and Seth Bullock is a gryffindor and that’s why bullock is so annoying to me.