#seven year old me was gaslighting gatekeeping and girlbossing

[lord-of-pterodactyls]

So everyone’s had that moment where they’ve entered an elevator and forgotten to push the button. You can’t deny it it’s basic knowledge. So mine happened to me once when i was like seven. I know a lot of people would have experienced this but mine is just that bit special because you had like 20 seven year olds crammed into an elevator and half of them are crying because the door is closed and they aren’t going anywhere. And school had this strings program so it was 20 seven year olds crammed into a lift with some violins cellos violas and a couple of double basses. So there is like no room whatsoever but everyone wants to get out so everyone is shoving each other to get to the door. And I get shoved to the back of the lift and notice that no one has pressed the fucking button. And a couple of weeks before that I got blamed for something I didn’t do and no one was on my side about it so I was feeling petty about it (still am and will never be over it but that’s not the point) and I just stayed quiet about it. And I have positioned myself so my back is against the buttons so no one else can realise and free us (I’m very petty okay?) and after like 20 minutes of manifesting chaos among these kids I finally press the ground floor button so we can get out. But we’ve been stuck for 20 minutes and the elevator was old and in need of repairs and the lights sort of started flickering and the elevator was shuddering because of the weight of all the kids and their instruments and this of course creates more screams. You will never understand the joy seven year old me had while shouting at everyone to be quiet because if they shut up they would have noticed that no one had pressed the down button and I was trying to tell them that they forgot the button but they couldn’t hear me because of their screams, and I would have pressed the button earlier had I not been shoved around constantly. A blatant lie to anyone who checked twice but alas seven year olds are fucking stupid (me included took me like 5 minutes to figure out that no one had pressed the button despite the fact I was standing right in front of it). And the reason no adults came to get us was because the music lesson was right before lunch and we were due to spend lunch on the other campus because we “behaved really well and can use the big kids playground across the road” which was honestly a good excuse to not have to put up with our screams of joy for lunch time. Anyway getting off topic. So half of the grade went down the elevator with their teacher supervisor and this woman forgot that the she still had to wait for the other half of the grade because it wasn’t her usual class. And like ten minutes till lunch ends she goes “oh wait shit I’ve lost some children how the fuck” and at this point we’ve gotten out and luckily managed to find our way to the playground thanks to some poor middle school student who I recognised from after school care (I feel bad about this now because this kid was like 13 and honestly if I was approached by twenty seven year olds with string instruments half of whom were crying or are still crying I would just panic). But the teacher has run off because she lost half of the kids she was supposed to be looking after. However some of the older students saw this site and decided that they would be babysitting until the teacher came back because look at these sad miserable children so sweet and innocent (and the other handful of older kids who just did it to laugh at us but I would too tbh). Anyway end of lunch comes and the teacher finally goes back to the playground and takes us back to the very small children side of the school. Honestly I still feel very satisfied about that because I got a gold star sticker from the teacher and was presented a piece of paper for my “ingenuity” during assembly that week. God I’m so fucking proud of seven year old me I was the fucking worst and I got prizes for it too.

[angelunderheaven]

"The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream" - Marilyn Monroe

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the Asshole for pranking my substitute teacher?

I, 15m, was walking to class one day with my friends, (15 f) (16m) when I noticed that my teacher was not there. It was a Sub and like look I'm not gonna assume but she looked liked those prissy subs you see in cartoons so. Already not off to a good start. So I arrive to class with my friends, and my friend 16 m is just like ‘oh shit’. Turns out the sub is his aunt! Funny how that works. Also his family is. Not good. Like there's three good people in his immediate family and one of them is a seven year old. So anyways I arrive and she gives me a look that is crustier than her. Overused eyeshadow. So anyways I sit down and IMMEDIATELY she calls me bacl up. I am like, okay, what’s the matter do you need smth or and am jsut very confused. She tells me that my arm is "indecent" (I should also add I have a prosthetic). So like. How do I process this. Like I was honestly kinda taken aback bc holy shit she just said that. To a whole--ass 14 year old too. Like cmon you can’t just tell somebody they’re indecent for like literally doing nothing to you and simply not having an arm what the hell. so she tells me to go grab a jacket or smth from my locker. This is where I get the idea. So I have a friend, who looks almost identical to me, and really the only way to tell us apart I the fact that we have different eye colors, and he has both arms. So, rather than listen to her, I decide to have a little fun. I mean if she’s going to make this hour miserable for me the least I can do is try to make it somewhat enjoyable. so I go to my friends classroom (I was his teacher’s favorite last year when I had him :>) and his teacher is cool with him coming and being me for a bit. So we go, switch outfits, he gets my flannel, and then he goes back to class instead of me. This is where the fun begins! So he wrrives, and she doesn’t notice anything for like five minutes. So it gets hot out and he takes off my jacket (seriously did she expect me to wear that the whole time???) and THATS when she notices that he is not, in fact, me. Meanwhile. I am getting FREE Fritos bc I am hungry. So while my friend plays dumb ya boi got his prosthetic stuck in the vending machine (again) (the janitor at my school is thrilled I think that he has to do this at least three times a week (he is not)) So anyways while my friend is being all gaslight gatekeeper girlboss and convincing her that he never had a metal arm I shoot him a text saying that it’s time to switch. Back. Keep in mind I don't even have the prosthetic now. we switch outfits and I go back to my first hour. Sub is now EVEN MORE CONFUSED and I continue my gaslight gatekeep girlbossing. she’s like ‘just a minute ago you had both arms where did that go’ and I’m like ‘wdym I never had that I think you need to get your eyes checked :>’. She is fuming btw :>. So we continue to swap every so often and by the time first period was over this woman was about to blow a gasket. At some point I brought the Fritos to class and was just snackin instead of working. Somehow she noticed the arm but not this (I think she might actually need her eyes checked) like. Not even when I threw one at my 15 f friend. Also, I gave my other friends teacher a play by play and he was amused by my shenanigans :>. Am I the asshole?

[ask-the-fred-boy]

Am I the asshole for pranking my substitute teacher?

I, 15m, was walking to class one day with my friends, (15 f) (16m) when I noticed that my teacher was not there. It was a Sub and like look I'm not gonna assume but she looked liked those prissy subs you see in cartoons so. Already not off to a good start. So I arrive to class with my friends, and my friend 16 m is just like ‘oh shit’. Turns out the sub is his aunt! Funny how that works. Also his family is. Not good. Like there's three good people in his immediate family and one of them is a seven year old. So anyways I arrive and she gives me a look that is crustier than her. Overused eyeshadow. So anyways I sit down and IMMEDIATELY she calls me bacl up. I am like, okay, what’s the matter do you need smth or and am jsut very confused. She tells me that my arm is "indecent" (I should also add I have a prosthetic). So like. How do I process this. Like I was honestly kinda taken aback bc holy shit she just said that. To a whole--ass 14 year old too. Like cmon you can’t just tell somebody they’re indecent for like literally doing nothing to you and simply not having an arm what the hell. so she tells me to go grab a jacket or smth from my locker. This is where I get the idea. So I have a friend, who looks almost identical to me, and really the only way to tell us apart I the fact that we have different eye colors, and he has both arms. So, rather than listen to her, I decide to have a little fun. I mean if she’s going to make this hour miserable for me the least I can do is try to make it somewhat enjoyable. so I go to my friends classroom (I was his teacher’s favorite last year when I had him :>) and his teacher is cool with him coming and being me for a bit. So we go, switch outfits, he gets my flannel, and then he goes back to class instead of me. This is where the fun begins! So he wrrives, and she doesn’t notice anything for like five minutes. So it gets hot out and he takes off my jacket (seriously did she expect me to wear that the whole time???) and THATS when she notices that he is not, in fact, me. Meanwhile. I am getting FREE Fritos bc I am hungry. So while my friend plays dumb ya boi got his prosthetic stuck in the vending machine (again) (the janitor at my school is thrilled I think that he has to do this at least three times a week (he is not)) So anyways while my friend is being all gaslight gatekeeper girlboss and convincing her that he never had a metal arm I shoot him a text saying that it’s time to switch. Back. Keep in mind I don't even have the prosthetic now. we switch outfits and I go back to my first hour. Sub is now EVEN MORE CONFUSED and I continue my gaslight gatekeep girlbossing. she’s like ‘just a minute ago you had both arms where did that go’ and I’m like ‘wdym I never had that I think you need to get your eyes checked :>’. She is fuming btw :>. So we continue to swap every so often and by the time first period was over this woman was about to blow a gasket. At some point I brought the Fritos to class and was just snackin instead of working. Somehow she noticed the arm but not this (I think she might actually need her eyes checked) like. Not even when I threw one at my 15 f friend. Also, I gave my other friends teacher a play by play and he was amused by my shenanigans :>. Am I the asshole?

[crossover-enthusiast]

Am I the asshole for pranking my substitute teacher? I, 15m, was walking to class one day with my friends, (15 f) (16m) when I noticed that my teacher was not there. It was a Sub and like look I'm not gonna assume but she looked liked those prissy subs you see in cartoons so. Already not off to a good start. So I arrive to class with my friends, and my friend 16 m is just like ‘oh shit’. Turns out the sub is his aunt! Funny how that works. Also his family is. Not good. Like there's three good people in his immediate family and one of them is a seven year old. So anyways I arrive and she gives me a look that is crustier than her. Overused eyeshadow. So anyways I sit down and IMMEDIATELY she calls me bacl up. I am like, okay, what’s the matter do you need smth or and am jsut very confused. She tells me that my arm is "indecent" (I should also add I have a prosthetic). So like. How do I process this. Like I was honestly kinda taken aback bc holy shit she just said that. To a whole--ass 14 year old too. Like cmon you can’t just tell somebody they’re indecent for like literally doing nothing to you and simply not having an arm what the hell. so she tells me to go grab a jacket or smth from my locker. This is where I get the idea. So I have a friend, who looks almost identical to me, and really the only way to tell us apart I the fact that we have different eye colors, and he has both arms. So, rather than listen to her, I decide to have a little fun. I mean if she’s going to make this hour miserable for me the least I can do is try to make it somewhat enjoyable. so I go to my friends classroom (I was his teacher’s favorite last year when I had him :>) and his teacher is cool with him coming and being me for a bit. So we go, switch outfits, he gets my flannel, and then he goes back to class instead of me. This is where the fun begins! So he wrrives, and she doesn’t notice anything for like five minutes. So it gets hot out and he takes off my jacket (seriously did she expect me to wear that the whole time???) and THATS when she notices that he is not, in fact, me. Meanwhile. I am getting FREE Fritos bc I am hungry. So while my friend plays dumb ya boi got his prosthetic stuck in the vending machine (again) (the janitor at my school is thrilled I think that he has to do this at least three times a week (he is not)) So anyways while my friend is being all gaslight gatekeeper girlboss and convincing her that he never had a metal arm I shoot him a text saying that it’s time to switch. Back. Keep in mind I don't even have the prosthetic now. we switch outfits and I go back to my first hour. Sub is now EVEN MORE CONFUSED and I continue my gaslight gatekeep girlbossing. she’s like ‘just a minute ago you had both arms where did that go’ and I’m like ‘wdym I never had that I think you need to get your eyes checked :>’. She is fuming btw :>. So we continue to swap every so often and by the time first period was over this woman was about to blow a gasket. At some point I brought the Fritos to class and was just snackin instead of working. Somehow she noticed the arm but not this (I think she might actually need her eyes checked) like. Not even when I threw one at my 15 f friend. Also, I gave my other friends teacher a play by play and he was amused by my shenanigans :>. Am I the asshole?

"NTA"

I love when we're let out of our enclosures

[goblinoss]

the car incident at second year is so fucking stupid and i'm not necesserly talking about harry and ron being unable to go on a platform and immediately resorting to stealing a car, because if anything it was iconic and I would definetly see it being the only solution in twelve year olds head. especially when one of those twelve year olds is severly under informed about the intricacies of wizarding world and who has abusive uncles who keep bars in his window as an alternative if he won't get on that train.

but perhaps the thing that is the most idiotic about it for me is the way everyone acted like the fact a few muggles saw them was such a big deal. omg they were seen by whole seven muggles? oh the horrors, how will wizards ever cover it up? like can't you lie? what happened to manipulation? to gaslighting? gatekeeping? girlbossing?

[miss-morland]

2 3 and 69 (lol) for the magic prompt! : )

2. What got you into Magic?

the guy i was dating got into it and wanted someone to play with, so at first i learned so we could play together! that was right when eldritch moon came out, so that gorgeous promotional art of liliana was everywhere, and i was captivated by her ethereal milf swag. then i pulled a liliana the last hope from a booster pack, which was worth a decent amount of money at the time, and it was all over, i was hooked.

3. How long have you been playing Magic?

i’m at about seven years now! my first prerelease was aether revolt in early 2017

69. Sexiest character in Magic?

ohh liliana for sure, and i don’t just mean because of the old sexed-up art of her. that woman has grace and poise and cunt-serving attitude like no other. “please step on me” doesn’t even BEGIN to express the feelings i have about her

she’s mommy she’s mother she’s pussy slay queen shes gaslight gatekeep girlboss she’s somehow still a disaster she is everything to me

[papersong]

Im literally so DUMB EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTEEER catch me going back to the permanently open chicago & tokyo tab and refreshing twice a day so i can catch the second it updates.

Ello, thank you for reaching out! It would be next Sunday at the soonest. In the meantime, have a preview of reader getting ready to gaslight gatekeep girlboss her way into homeownership in Japan :3

..........

On that thought, Tomioka is rather normal-looking, unlike all the men you've met in Japan. Though he has blue eyes, the Rengokus look like walking flames, Himejima is seven feet tall, Uzui is, well, flamboyant, Iguro has bicolor eyes over his bandage-mask, and Shinazugawa is Shinazugawa.

If you passed Tomioka on the street, you might mistake him for an ordinary person. On top of a relatively unremarkable appearance, Tomioka is also quiet and good at putting off people trying to ask questions. The water hashira is almost painfully forgettable, which is exactly what you need in a fake husband.

..........

chicago & tokyo (link to AO3) is actually a Rengoku x Reader fic (sorry Tomioka) where reader is a thousand-year-old bootlegger living in 1920's Prohibition-Era Chicago. She eventually gets to Japan through a series of unfortunate events including: - Rengoku showing up dying in her living room. - Akaza showing up dying in her living room. - Both recovering, then immediately attempting to kill her.

[furyfought]

abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway .  they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.

loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.

+ pinterest, stats.

hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎

"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."

agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?

when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but. 

agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.

agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.

agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro. 

but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff. 

i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.

anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch. 

"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋."  + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !

i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3

if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3

conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.

fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts. 

someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3

omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?

an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?

agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.

agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3

if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.

omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked.. 

on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3

budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨. 

i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..

college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.

tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.

agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster. 

speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.