#sharing their own stories about identity as well as this fear of being “wrong”

[eunnieboo]

WAIT DIDN’T YOU MAKE THE MITSKI LESBIAN LYRIC COMIC IN 2019 THOUGH

haha yes! for more context, at that point i had known i was queer for some time, but it was around 2020 that i started to seriously consider i might be a lesbian. incredibly, i had this revelation when i was in the middle of working on my graphic novel starring lesbians 💀

i mentioned this on twitter/ig, but i think part of the reason why it took this long (other than my clownery) is bc i have an inexplicable fear that one day i'll realize i'm a fraud and i was lying to everyone... even though i know people figure themselves out at their own pace and everyone has a unique, personal journey to self-discovery! change and growth doesn't make you a liar. and i've already spent so much time worrying about this imaginary future where i'm wrong instead of thinking about what feels right. so i want to embrace who i am, at this moment.. i just can't help the little devil on my shoulder who makes me doubt myself at times.

so yeah! that's me! i've only ever admitted this in private... and i'm still a little shy saying it now. but i wanted to make that comic because i think it's so fucking funny that "it was a dare" was my honest to god rebuttal against suspected lesbianism LMAO

[idesofrevolution]

Let’s talk honestly

So I just wanna share where I’m at these days with Tumblr, the community, and some concerning developments as of late. Firstly, I want to thank all 5k of you for supporting me for almost a decade on this platform. It has been a wild ride with ups and downs but this community has really given me an overall positive impact on my self image, bettered my writing skills, and helped to come to terms with who I am as a person and as a kinkster. So above all, I have so much gratitude for y’all, thank you.

Over the last couple of months, I have taken notice to some difficulties on behalf of Tumblr and their censorship efforts against queer erotic writing. I have had to fight more flags and community labels than ever before, and it has really affected my desire and motivation to publish more stories. If only certain folks with their mature censor turned off can read my posts, that fuckin sucks. But I admittedly got rather stoned last night and thought about why Tumblr is cracking down so viciously on our content. I think I’ve come to my own conclusion there.

I am and have been extremely alarmed by a number of tropes that have become relatively commonplace in recently posted tf prose. As I have mentioned countless times before, underage people have no business being in your sexual fantasy fiction whatsoever. The amount of writers I’ve seen recently posting stories focusing on 12-16 year of children being erotically transformed is disturbing to put it delicately. Especially those which maintain the children’s psychological age intact, but even without that trope it is inappropriate, unacceptable, and should not be platformed on Tumblr.

In addition, I’d like to touch on another trope: homophobic tf. Now I have no issue whatsoever with Gay to straight, as being straight is a valid expression of sexual orientation. There is nothing wrong with featuring characters from a wide array of identities. That being said, this new content of lib to con, MAGA tf, gay bashing tf… it’s disgusting. In the current world we live in, these types of archetypical characters do exist in the real world and are causing real significant harm to queer folks. These groups of people are actively, in their own words, trying to eradicate the LGBT community in America. These types of people exist all over the world as well, and queer identifying people live in legitimate, actual fear for their lives. I question why we fetishize individuals who seek a literal genocide of an entire peoples, and whether it is acceptable to do so. I point to the fetishization of Nazism as an apt comparison: a hypermasculinized group of people who sought eradication of a group of people based solely on concrete identities which could not be changed. I believe we as a community have rightly deplatformed such content, and I cannot fathom why this current iteration is in such a Renaissance.

These are just two examples of obvious reasoning as to why Tumblr might righteously suppress tf erotica on their platform. Can I blame them? No. Frankly, I understand completely. If the community refuses to monitor and moderate its on content, then Tumblr as the platform most certainly will.

I’m unsure as to what the future looks like for Ides, as this current trajectory is not something I’d like to participate in. I’m hoping like minded writers will be a bit more critical in choosing the tropes and prompts for their stories, but in all honesty, I have significant doubts. Rest assured, I will touch base with y’all before I do anything drastic. But in my opinion, the writing is on the wall.

[letters-adressed-to-the-fire]

three times Taylor presented us the same character in ttpd and we didn’t notice (or maybe you did)

So, what if I told you I found a connection between who’s afraid of little old me, the albatross and Cassandra?

As most of you have been doing, I’ve been listening to ttpd nonstop, but while I was reading some of the lyrics, I found a very interesting connection I wanted to share with you.

In this post, I’m gonna introduce you to the character of “the monster”. But to start this analysis, I decided to construct our protagonist through a short story first:

“Once upon a time, there was a monster. Well, she wasn’t always a monster. In fact, she was once tame and gentle, living a life that was far removed from the terrifying existence she now endures. But once she started to become something people weren’t ready to embrace, she turned into a threat in the eyes of everyone else. It was the harsh and unforgiving world around her that transformed our protagonist from a harmless creature into a being that others now fear and despise.

That's why society has decided to lock her in a cell. The “monster” is now incapacitated enough, so she can’t defend herself anymore. They stripped her of her power, taking out her defenses and leaving her vulnerable.

“I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean "Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth"” (taken from "who's afraid of little old me")

After enough time had passed, our protagonist decided to accept the hardest of truths. She was never gonna convince her cagers that she was anything but the dangerous creature they think they’re protecting their people from.

“I was in my tower weaving nightmares Twisting all my smiles into snarls” (taken from "Cassandra")

The monster started calling herself a monster. She has come to accept this identity society has bestowed upon her: she wasn’t born as a monster but was taught to be one. Society's cruelty and rejection have finally forced her to become something she never wanted to be.

“You caged me and then you called me crazy I am what I am 'cause you trained me” (taken from "who's afraid of little old me")

Yes, her monstrous label stems from society's refusal to accept something about her—something that she now knows was right all along. But even if somehow the truth finds its way out (that it will), the damage has already been done. Her cell had already been filled with snakes countless times.

“So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say Do you believe me now?” (taken from "Cassandra")

Our story ends with our monster finally finding a way to haunt those who wronged her and remind them of their cruelty. And she had to do nothing. When the deception died, everyone saw what had always been there.

“Locked me up in towers But I'd visit in your dreams And they tried to warn you about me” (taken from "The albatross")

---

Her transformation into a monster was not just a physical or mental change, but a profound shift in how she saw herself and how others saw her. Society created her monstrous persona through their fear and rejection, but in the end, she embraced it as her own.

This character of the monster, therefore, is not inherently evil or malicious. Instead, she is a product of her environment, shaped by the cruelty and misunderstanding of those around her.

The specific vocabulary she uses to describe this character (such as “tame”, “snarl”, “took out her teeth”, “caged”, etc.) is what makes it clear that she’s expecting everyone to picture the idea of a “monster” (or what is considered a monster by the people she’s referencing in these three songs). In a way, she’s trying to convey the feeling of being dehumanized by people’s opinions. Yes, she literally calls herself a monster, but it’s an obvious metaphor for how society strips those who are different of their humanity, reducing them to something less than human, something to be feared and controlled. Taylor is trying to remind us how social pressure and prejudices can transform the innocent into the feared and the gentle into the dangerous. She takes the figure of the monster and makes her stand as a symbol of resilience and survival, a testament to the strength it takes to endure and adapt in a world that seeks to cage and define you.

[watermelonlovershigh]

Maybe them discussing being attracted to someone? Or like a gossip-y thing where they talk about what celebrities they have crushes on or whatever. Or three some fantasies. Or like Harry with a bi flag at a show or something.

💖💜💙

AN: thank you anon for the wonderful ideas. i incorporated a few into this little blurb and i hope you like it.

This story contains: mild smut, mentions of boobs, mentions of sub/dom relationships, fluff, not much dialogue

{ boyfriend!harry - softrry - bi!reader - have been dating for over a year }

word count: 796

What it's like being with Harry as a bisexual women.

You told Harry you were bisexual about six months into dating and it's been the most liberating feeling ever since. Where before you were cautious about what you said around him so you didn't accidently out yourself, now you can share your thoughts freely.

Though you knew he'd support you, it's still a scary thing to come out to someone you love so dearly.

When you and Harry are watching a film together on his couch, you'll blurt out, "Fuck, her tits are nice." in reference to the actress on the screen.

Harry will try and act offended by replying with something like, "Hey..."

And you'll say back, "What? There's no denying her boobs are gorgeous."

Harry will laugh and retort, "Alright, her tits are very pretty but I'd rather not think about another woman's breasts will I have the best pair right beside me." Referring to your boobs that he loves so much.

He's also been the most supportive partner as well. At least in one part of every concert he'll find a way to hold up the bi flag. Of course he still holds up the rainbow flag which represents all labels under the queer umbrella, but just something about him holding the bisexual flag makes you so happy.

And his fans most likely know why he's so adamant about holding the bi flag because you have now mentioned publicly you're bisexual. Though some still speculate if it's Harry's way of giving clues to his own sexuality when he's stated himself he'd rather go unlabeled. Not really feeling either straight or gay or anything in between.

Not just on stage is he supportive though. This year he took you to your first pride parade. He never had a reason to go before dating you because his sexuality is quite complicated and it never seemed fitting enough to go. But now, you give him a reason to go. To go to a parade where all lgbtqia is welcome.

Harry dressed in more general rainbow clothes so no one got the wrong idea about his personal identity while you dressed in the bisexual colors. But he did wave the bisexual flag with you, up and down the streets at the pride parade in LA.

Not only do you share your attractiveness to beautiful women parts and have a very supportive boyfriend, you also talk about your past relationships. More so you though because Harry would rather forget all of his. Now that you're out to Harry, you share the differences you notice being in a relationship with a guy verses when you dated a women.

The biggest difference for you personally is being dominant with men and submissive with women. You don't know what it is but when your ex girlfriends would call you "baby girl" and push and tug you around during sex, you became mush. Now being with Harry, you have this urge to take control and watch him be all helpless during sex. Which Harry has no problem with because he's always been secretly submissive.

A non sexual difference you can spot is the way the bed smells after a nights sleep. When you shared a bed with your ex girlfriend, the bed would smell of flowers and her apple scented shampoo. With Harry, his bed in the mornings smells more musky and dare you say, manly. Both have their pros and cons but you will say the more manly scent turns you on easier.

Lastly, you try and act all confident in your bisexuality but reality is, you still have insecurities and fears. So you'll often ask Harry, "You promise you don't get scared I'll leave you for a women?"

And Harry will reply, "Why on earth would I need that fear? Is there somethin' I need to know?" That last part is said in a joking tone.

You'll shake your head no and then respond with, "No, it's just, people online keep saying you should be scared I'll leave you for a women and..... and I want you to know you don't have to worry. My attraction to women has nothing to do with my attraction and love for you. Straight people still know they like the opposite gender while being with the opposite gender so it's no different than me knowing I like the same gender while being with the opposite gender."

Harry leans down and whispers near your mouth, "I know, m'love. I know you love me and I've never doubted that for a second. I love that you embrace your sexuality and don't shy away from expressing your feelings when it correlates to your sexuality. Makes me love you even more if I'm honest." Then leans in an inch or two to fully connect his lips with yours.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT’S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ) )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @japanchrry // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe140  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore1 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

 // @luv-flor7777  // @alohastyles-x // @tenaciousperfectionunknown  // @sleutherclaw // @siredtohybrid // @whoscamila // @a-strange-familiar  // @golden-elodie // @mrspeacem1nusone //  @goldenkhae // @lntwithharry // @shadowygladiatorlight  // @manifestrry  // @mendesblurb // @sunshinemoonsposts  // @depersonalizationsucks // @academiaghosts // @zendayassimp // @reveriehs // @vsnnstuff // @dancinsunflowerkiwi // @quinnsgrapejuice // @theroosterswife24 // @justlemmeholdyou // @stylesmygucci // @hsonlyangelxo // @luvonstyles // @howdey

______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[maplesamurai]

Some Fan Theories Before Wizard School Mysteries Vol. 3 Drops Tomorrow*

Wizard School Mysteries is a series of indie fantasy novels written by Will Cope (a.k.a. Tumblr's very own @tyrantisterror) and currently one of my favourite book series I've ever read. Set in TT's medieval fantasy setting of Midgaheim, the series follows the adventures of young wizard James Chaucer and his group of friends attending the Academy of Advanced Arcana and Magic as they investigate the various misdeeds that go on in their school under the ostensible watch of a faculty that frankly should not be in charge of running an ordinary school, much less one that teaches people how to summon fireballs. If you're the kind of person that may have grown up reading a certain other wizard school series but would like to read a version of that written by an actually decent human being and who presents the unjust institutions they've written into their world as something that should be challenged, then I cannot recommend this series highly enough. Especially since the latest instalment drops tomorrow on Amazon (okay, today since the clock struck midnight while I was still writing, but it was still the previous day when I wrote that sentence), so there is no better time to start reading!

But this is not a post about me recommending the series for newcomers. Instead, I'm here to take advantage of this topical timeframe to infodump about my personal theories that will be completely incomprehensible, not to mention spoiler-y, for anyone not as hopelessly lost in the sauce as I am. So if you haven't read them yet, books good go read, but if you're one of the two and a half people also in this criminally small fandom, jump under the cut for some basesless guesswork that may or may not be proven wrong by tomorrow!

Future Books and Their Central Characters

While James Chaucer has remained the primary POV character throughout the series thus far, Will has stated that each instalment of this planned to be eight book series will focus on the personal journey of one of the eight Meddlesome Youths. Book One was focused on James's story, showing him finding people who truly care about him after escaping his abusive home life and culminating with him finally being able to leave his pre-transition identity behind him, while Book Two centred around the tournament that Margot d'Francane competed in and eventually won, making her a school celebrity after a lifetime of being shunned and feared for her uncontrollable magic, and saw her deliver some well-deserved comeuppance to the abusive teacher who made her life hell during the first book. And Will has long established that Book Three will focus on Gretchen's apprenticeship under the Letharg Coven of witches, but how am I going to guess the central characters of the rest of the series, you might ask? Why, I'm going to look at the titles and just guess which ones suit which characters, of course?

...Look, I never said these theories had that much evidence to go on, alright?

While I haven't been able to find the post in question recently, a while ago Will shared his full list of every book, Midgaheim related or otherwise, that he plans to write, and at the time I copy and pasted the list of Wizard School Mysteries titles into a friend and I's Discord server to discuss just this topic, so without further ado, here's my guesses for...

Wizard School Mysteries Book 4: Creative Spellcrafting

More than any other member of the Meddlesome Youths, Ivan has been the one most inclined to put a creative spin on his magic or straight up invent his own spells, namely creating a flying carpet, and even turning the spell's more ravenous than intended side effects to his advantage in the gang's escape to Fairyland, and inventing a new form of illusion magic in the form of his "sillylusions," essentially inventing magical cartoons, which ultimately saved the day in the second book. And if one were to look at another definition of "creative," Will has confirmed that Ivan will eventually make a whole team of homunculi as the series goes on, i.e. creating life.

Wizard School Mysteries Book 5: Besties and Bestiaries

This is one of the easier ones to guess, as Serena calls people her "besties" a whole lot, which admittedly isn't as well-argued a guess as above, but it's the only title here to employ of of the Youths' own speech patterns, so I'm going with it.

Wizard School Mysteries Book 6: Amour of the Rings

First of all, "amour" means love, and Rodrigo's literally represents the Lovers of the Major Arcana, so right out of the gate we have that going for this theory. Expanding on that, rings in medieval times were given by monarchs to the vassals who swore fealty to them (that was even the symbolism behind Sauron's One Ring ploy in Tolkien, so we can also guess Will isn't naming his fantasy novel like that just to be cute), giving us a connection to Rodrigo as our only main cast member confirmed to be of noble birth as of this writing, and his knowledge of noble court politics has helped the gang out before. The mention of both love and rings also hints as a Rodrigo-focused story, since as the only noble born member of the Meddlesome Youths, he is more likely than any to become embroiled in an arranged marriage, which considering he and Ivan have become an official couple as of Book Two, could lead to a lot of complications among the cast.

Wizard School Mysteries Book 7: Mysteries Abroad

Okay, these last two titles don't hint at as many explicit connections to any of our heroes, but being a fairy studying among humans, Charlotte is the cast member best suited for the kind of "fish out of water" story that a semester abroad might bring. However, the inverse might even be true as Will has said that a semester abroad instalment would be a crossover with Maude & Mordi and Monster Detectives, two of his other planned Midgaheim series, and with both series having more monster heavy main casts from what I remember Will having shared of them, this could be a rare opportunity where Charlotte is the one who is more at home and has to guide the others through what is to them unfamiliar territory.

Wizard School Mysteries Book 8: The Final Arcana

Okay, this is where I'd have to admit I placed Polybeus here by process of elimination, but I can bullshit an actual reason for why he's the focus of the final instalment, I swear! First of all, the title might be a meta hint to the fact that Polybeus was the last of the Youths to join the team and thus the last whose Major Arcana was revealed, while also referring to some more literal in-story, whether that be the actual last Major Arcana character to be revealed, or some last great spell for the character to learn or last magical mishap for them to investigate. More substantially, it will probably take until late in the series for Polybeus to get his spotlight instalment in any case, since to but it bluntly, out of all the Meddlesome Youths, he's the one with the most to learn. Polybeus starts out the series as a jerk and a bully, who demands a rivalry with the protagonist just because it suits the ideal of heroism he was brought up to aspire to. And even as he's received a wake-up call in regards to his earlier behaviour as as Book Two, it's clear he still has a bit of toxicly masculine preconceptions yet to unlearn (to poor boy hasn't even figured out pickup artistry is bullshit, for Aphrodite's sake!). He's certainly made some strides towwards becoming a better person in his introduction, don't get me wrong, but he's definitely still got a ways to go. Also, it bookends the series quite nicely for the first book to focus on the hero while the last book spotlights the rival.

But enough of these more esoteric theories, and move on to one with more meat on it, and also the one most likely to be proven wrong or right by Book Three's release...

Helseng is the Angel of Death

Okay, this one might need more explaining, sop for those not in the know, Will's Midgaheim stories take place in the same universe as his earlier novel, No Sympathies, a comedic take on Biblical angels and demons (and also his alt history 1950s kaiju series Atomic Time of Monsters, sort of, it's complicated). This connection has become more apparent as the series has gone on, with demons and their pacts with mortal witches becoming important to solving the mystery of Book Two, and Book Three focusing on the "occult" side of Will's universe that demons are among the biggest players of.

So, how does that connect with Helseng specifically? Well, Helseng's been hinted to be far more powerful than one might suspect at first. After all, prophecy has been stated throughout the series to be one of the most dangerous forms of magic that only fools should treat lightly, and yet one of the most frequent sources of wisdom in the series offers James a look into his destiny from a roadside stand, and she always leaves when one's back is turned with no trace, without any of the obvious telltale bursts of smoke or sound that not even the most powerful wizards' use of Evocation can avoid. And angels and demons in Will's world are on par with literal gods, so that fits the power requirement. And while demons tend to keep a low profile when dealing with mortals in Midgaheim, angels seem virtually unheard of, having not even been mentioned by any characters either in this series, whereas demons seem to be at least known, if obscure.

But what really got me on this track was the very element Helseng herself introduced: the Major Arcana of tarot. Each of the Major Arcana of the Tarot deck represents one of the major characters of this series, who embody both the literal meaning of the card's name in some way as well as its meanings in tarot reading. for instance, Ivan represents the Magician card. Magician in Midgaheim specifically refers to a town wizard, wizards in live among everyday people acting as the magical equivalents of local handymen, one of which Ivan was apprenticed to before attending the AAAM, and the vocation Ivan wishes to return to upon graduating. The Magician card itself, meanwhile, represents resourcefulness and inspired action, which Ivan repeatedly demonstrates through his creative applications of spellcasting and how he can use that to help his friends out of a bind on many occasions. Helseng's Arcana, which is to be revealed in story in Book Three, is Death, which as she states in her reading, refers not to literal death, but to change and transition, demonstrated by how telling James's fortune sets him on the path to forming the Meddlesome Youths and solving the various wrongdoings that plague the school. Which is all well and good, so how might she represent death literally? Well, the actual angel of death is character in No Sympathies.

This is Azrael. In No Sympathies, she first appears to deliver to Hell the first mortal soul to be tempted into sin, and it is stated that when it comes into question whether a soul should go to Heaven or Hell, it is she who litigates the matter with Hell's Chief Tempter Mephistopheles. And it is the latter that I believe shall become relevant to Wicked Witchcraft, as in the lead up to the book's release, Will posted a compilation of YouTube clips as out of context spoilers for the book's plot points, and in particular it is the three clips for Chapter 13 that I believe pertain to Helseng/Azrael. First is The Trial from Pink Floyd's The Wall, where the artist is put on, well, trial by the monstrous manifestations by the various factors and events in his life that inspired the other songs in the album. Second is an animatic for Epic the Musical's God Games, where Athena argues to Aphrodite and Ares to allow Odysseus to leave Calypso's island. And third is a clip from Netflix's Castlevania anime where the vampire Varney reveals himself to be the show's version of recurring franchise antagonist Death as he explains he needed a mortal's help to open a hellish gate.

Confused? Okay, maybe not, since the clock struck midnight as I was writing this, so if I'm right you might even be reading the relevant chapter by now. But either way, I believe that because of whatever demonic pact for apprenticeship under the Letharg Coven entailed, Gretchen's soul will be considered up for grabs by Hell and Helseng will have to reveal her true identity and intercede on her behalf. Depending on whether the Castlevania clip is meant to refer to a character revealed to be Death or a mortal needed to open some kind of gate or both, the demons might be even more inclined to prosecute their case than usual if Gretchen is vital to increasing their influence over Midgaheim. And for what it's worth, one of Will's Midgaheim based TTRPG campaigns involved the main antagonist making a pact with Hell as a gambit to rule Engelsex, the very kingdom where Wizard School Mysteries is primarily set, so perhaps the climax of the book involves the demons trying to finish what that campaign's villains started?

In any case, it became the day of Book Three's release in the time it took to type up this post (I'm a slow typer, so sue me), so you can go buy the book right now to see whether you should hail me as a prophet or point and laugh at what a big wrong dumb dumb I am.

[shadesofblades]

Baatu Ardakium: The Moonlit Shield

(All of Baatu's updated lore as of JUNE 2024, up until ShB. I already had this up on his ToyHouse page, but decided to post it here as well. This post is very long with lots of text. Includes characters owned to @midnightmagicks! This lore is just the basis of his story, meaning all RP is intertwined somewhere within.)

Moonlit Origins

Baatu Ardakium was born during the end of summer in Ishgard, Coerthas. His father was Berkai Ardakium, a Xaela born of the Steppe, and his mother is Murene Ardakium, an Ishgardian Elezen.☾

Baatu’s father had broken off from his family in his homeland to migrate with a different Xaela tribe across the world. This group tried to settle in the lands of Coerthas, but they encountered an abundance of hardships. Before long, Berkai decided to carve out his own path and travel on his own through the new land. One day, he encountered an Elezen woman by the name of Murene. She was just outside of the city of Ishgard taking on an extra job when the two locked eyes. Murene had never seen a man like Berkai before and they quickly became interested in one another. Their relationship blossomed as they learned about each other and their respective cultures and lives. Many stories were shared between the two that bonded them in a romantic partnership.☾

Berkai and Murene began seeing each other in secret. They did not speak about their relationship to anyone in fear for their safety as Ishgard’s discriminatory rules were violently enforced. Murene would often take jobs outside of the city so that she may slip away to see her partner. (The extra cash was nice as well.) The two eventually had their son in private, but could not share his identity to the world openly yet. However, the day came when Berkai was caught near the surrounding lands of Ishgard, far too close for the likes of the guards. Berkai was given no mercy in his wrongful execution. Murene learned of her lover’s death soon after word spread of a “Draconic man” being slain just outside of the gates of the city. She was unable to do anything less she be branded a heretic or worse.☾

Stoneborn Youth

Murene solely raised Baatu as his father was almost completely gone from his childhood. The two lived together in the slums of Ishgard in a tiny condominium, part of the lower working class. Murene was a single working mother, so Baatu did what he could as a child to help her with chores and errands while also being home schooled during his early years. On occasion, Baatu would try to help his mother by cooking meals even at a very young age.☆

The other children of Ishgard didn’t take kindly to Baatu’s mixed heritage. Growing up to learn that dragons were Ishgard’s enemies, Baatu’s peers would often bully and abuse Baatu for his draconic appearance. As a young child, Baatu wouldn’t know what to do in these situations but to run home to his mother who would protect him. He was hurt physically and emotionally often, other kids not wanting to be friends with him and some even throwing rocks at him. During one of these ambushes, Baatu was hit in the face rather hard that ruined his right eye permanently.☆

During one of his grocery errand runs, young Baatu saw a handsome family of white scaled Au Ra. He was stunned by their brilliance and excited to see other people with features like his own. The young daughter of that family even seemed to stand proud against any of the other children’s racist mocking. He was so distracted by the sight of them that he tripped and dropped his bags, causing a scene that would get their attention. The young son of the family rushed over to help his peer with his bags, sparking excitement in Baatu. He asked the other boy many questions about who he was or where he came from. Nearly all of his questions went unanswered, however. This was the first time Baatu really felt a connection with a stranger.☆

There was a day that Baatu had come back home to some other adult Elezen in his house talking to his mother. Young Baatu hid to listen in on the conversation the adults were having, which he soon found out was about him. The other adults were somehow convinced that Baatu was the one causing all the trouble amongst the children and that it was his fault that the kids were acting the way they were. Murene had none of this and sent them away, very protective of her child. Soon after this conversation, young Baatu started to confront the peers who bullied him. He had a major turn in behavior that caused many of the children to bite their tongues and run away from him. Baatu learned to act threatening and strong rather than run away to his mother. He didn’t want to cause her any more trouble.☆

Teenage Sandbag

As Baatu grew older and bigger, he grew more dominant and violent. His peers started to fear the half Au Ra that now towered over them and avoided him even more than when they did as children. He got into fights for the smallest things just to prove the point that he was stronger than those who opposed him. He had an extremely hard time making friends because of this and even stirred up trouble in the wrong crowds. Thankfully for Baatu, none of the guards cared for visiting the shadier parts of the Brume. However, there were times he came extremely close to getting arrested, and honestly it it a miracle he never was. All of this social isolation didn’t seem to bother Baatu much outwardly as he spent most of his time helping his mother pay for bills when he wasn’t in school or causing mayhem. By the time he was done with his public schooling, he dedicated his time to getting work as a laborer.☆

It didn’t take long for Baatu to want to move away from Ishgard- especially after the calamity that ruined Coerthas’ climate. He had this idea of leaving home even at a young age, but never pursued it until his mother gave him her blessing. She said he should live his own life and do whatever he wanted to do, and Baatu took those words to heart. Shortly after, Baatu quit his work and packed his bags to travel down Eorzea, barely a gil in his pocket. He picked up work as a hired hand and learned the way of the sword and shield. Through his travels, he met new and interesting people, but still had a hard time making friends as his demeanor was more than abrasive. Finally being able to meet other Au Ra, Baatu tried a little too hard to get close to them, usually ruining their relationships in turn. Living in some rowdy social circles and easily getting into the wrong crowds, Baatu learned that his tough guy behavior was only punishable by a fist fight or a ban from a bar.☆

From the bone-chilling stoneland of Ishgard, Baatu traveled southward until he found a new home in the hot sands of Ul’dah. Work was plenty, and he finally felt like he belonged amongst the diverse crowds of travelers from around the world. He was making some coin and anything he could spare he sent over to his mother back in Ishgard. Eventually, Baatu caught the eye of a Flame recruiter and the himbo was easily persuaded to join their ranks. Baatu was rather happy with the Flames as they provided a place to sleep and food on his table. All he had to do was get better with that sword and shield of his! He would often make homemade meals for the other recruits and earned a name for himself amongst the soldiers. This was a prime time in Baatu’s life where he finally made some friends, one being E’mal Khama.☆

New Blood (ARR)

While living in Ul’dah during his young adulthood, Baatu became more tolerable and even friendly. Sometimes he was a little too friendly and ended up sleeping around quite frequently. These types of encounters usually didn’t end well and Baatu often found himself alone again.☆

One of these intimate encounters was with E’mal Khama, the Viera dancer from Gridania. The two hit it off well, but couldn’t hold up a romantic relationship at all. Regardless, they quickly became good friends and started helping and hanging out with each other more and more. E’mal was a rascal around Baatu, but taught the big idiot about how to not be a complete asshole. Baatu cleaned up heavily because of his friendship with E’mal, learning that not everything has to be a competition of strength and power.☆

Whilst working a side job after hours one day, Baatu saw a handsome Raen Au Ra come into the city. The stranger appeared ticked off at everything around him, but Baatu couldn’t help but pursue the handsome man. He learned his name was Zansei and that he came from overseas to train as a lancer. Baatu, not knowing how to talk to other Au Ra, made great advances on Zansei. He would bother the other Au Ra to the point of exhaustion. Zansei had enough of Baatu following him around and agreed to entertain him by teaching him how to talk to others. Even E’mal was surprised by Zansei’s decision to help Baatu rather than just turn him away completely like how other Au Ra would. Something felt so familiar.☆

Family (HW)

After a healthy amount of time with the Flames, Baatu became focused on learning combat and defense. He grew greatly as a tank and dedicated most of his time training in order to protect those around him. This period of discipline, alongside the social aid he was receiving from Zansei and E’mal’s teachings, helped Baatu grow into a stronger and more mature individual. He learned about strategy and gained wisdom on tactics through his training. Those around him grew confident, something that was brought on not just from his shining smile. Without realizing it, Baatu was able to manipulate aether in ways that helped the constitution of himself and those around him. Even without a casting focus, he was able to bring his aether into combat with surprising skill. It took time and consistency, but Baatu became a truly reliable paladin.☆

His work with the Flames took him all over Eorzea. As soon as he displayed such an outstanding magical constitution, they used him to travel from place to place via Aetheryte. Eventually, he was assigned to a station in Ishgard. He was extremely hesitant to go back to the stonecold city, but he had no other choice. Covered from head to toe in armor, Baatu looked unrecognizable to anyone he might have known in Ishgard. He could very well have been any old Au Ra. During this time, Baatu was uncharacteristically quiet and tame, not stirring up any trouble and avoiding people as much as he could. Even his fellow soldiers noticed this change in him, a few even teasing him for it.☆

Zansei in particular noticed this unusual behavior from his friend, but only confronted Baatu about it when he learned that his mother lived in the city. There was a small argument between them where Baatu tried to convince Zansei that he wasn’t ready to see his mother again. Zansei didn’t have any of his excuses and forced him to go visit. Nervous that he hadn’t lived up to an expectation he gave himself, Baatu cautiously knocked on his old home’s door and took off his helmet when his mother answered. The three of them had a fantastically long conversation filled with hours of catching up and old stories about Baatu’s childhood. Zansei learned a lot about Baatu that day, more than Baatu would have liked but it was clear that Murene loved to chatter about her little boy.☆

Love Blossoms (SB)

War in the Far East brewed uncertainty and worry within Baatu’s partner, Zansei. The two had a discussion about Zansei’s journey back to his family in Kugane and the couple’s next steps in their relationship. Without any resistance, Baatu promised Zansei that he would find a way to support him and his family. It took a bit of convincing, but Baatu bargained with his higher ups in the Flames to be stationed in Hingashi. It sure didn’t hurt to be well equipped for travel.☆

This period of strife in the East brought Zansei and Baatu closer as a couple. They were able to spend more time together, and Baatu was able to learn more about Zansei’s heritage and culture. With sickeningly poor pronunciation, Baatu learned a few phrases in Zansei’s native tongue. Staying with Zansei’s family also brought great opportunities for new growth as Baatu learned about Hingan cooking from Zansei’s mother. Zansei’s family quickly became comforting to Baatu as they treated him with much kindness.☆

Still, Baatu was stationed out there for work and had to keep traveling from time to time. While on some missions, Baatu was able to see where his roots bloomed from for the first time in his life. He had never realized just how spectacular Othard was and how interesting the cultures of the Steppe were. Through meeting other Xaela native to these lands, Baatu learned of his father’s history and stories that were passed down through his lineage. Zansei was occasionally there to accompany Baatu on these journeys, both of them learning of his heritage.☆

Throughout their journeys all over the star, Zansei and Baatu grew closer and closer. They not only relied on each other in battle, but emotionally and mentally as well. Their bond only grew stronger with the events in the Far East, and eventually they decided to tie the red thread. Zansei confessed to Baatu that he was the young Raen boy who helped him with his bags all those years ago. Baatu took a knee and asked Zansei for his hand in marriage, with his parents’ blessings of course. They easily made it official with an announcement and eventually had their wedding.☆

Surprise Wishes (ShB)

After the war in the East settled down, the couple decided to find a home together. It was custom to build a new structure for the new couple, but Baatu took that very literally. They found a plot in Shirogane together and Baatu began building the house himself. Of course Zansei could not allow his new husband to build something structurally unsafe, so he hired some professionals to help the process. Together, the newly weds designed the layout of their house and helped with the actual construction of it.☆

While the house was still under construction, the lovers encountered something quite fateful. While taking a stroll through the city of Kugane, they picked up on an unusual sound. It came from an abandoned building towards the edges of the water. Zansei immediately picked up on it and grew hurried in his pace. He recognized it to be the pained cries of a child. Not just a child no, as Zansei burst through the unkempt structure with little care for his own safety, he found a young baby, no more than a few months old. He rescued the young Raen and brought her to safety. Baatu could not deny Zansei as he cared for the girl, on the contrary helping him readily. After an extensive search by the authorities to find this young girl’s parents to no avail, Zansei and Baatu adopted the girl and began raising her as their own. They had to change some design plans on their home as well.☆

As if Baatu could not sit still, he took on another endeavor with some help of a few Flame friends. It wasn’t a goal that had been on his mind, but Baatu decided to open up a restaurant in Ul’dah. He figured he had to figure out what to do for retirement from the Flames, and a plethora of his mates suggested he open up a bar. So he did just that. He didn’t know much about the laws of it all, but thankfully he had a few friends- and his own husband- to help him out. And what better place to have it than the city he grew to love. As Baatu is a man who travels often, he does not run the restaurant himself. He will sometimes visit to serve customers and friends, but he often lets his staff do all the work. However, he made sure to teach all his cooks each recipe on the menu with precision and care.☆

[turtleboi11037]

My Ámbina lore/story !!

QUICK DISCLAIMER/CONFESSION: well, I might as well admit this now....i've never watched Soy Luna. IM A POSER IN THIS FANDOM- Im really interested in the characters, but I cannot stand reading subtitles for long periods of time. So watching it myself is off the table. I've skimmed through episodes and read up on wiki's to get the gist of plot points and see my girls, but thats about it. So keep in mind if some of my story contradicts events of the show, I either am ignoring them or do not know about them. Okay. Now that thats out of the way, heres my own personal story of Ámbar and Nina: First off, I love to think that Ámbar and Nina were friends as kids. That they met at the rink, and then got to know each other better at school. They become pretty good friends, but eventually Sharon makes Ámbar cut off their friendship, as the kind of person Nina is, isn't the kind she wants the "Benson name" to associate with. Ámbar's household is not a good one. We all know this. She is basically verbally and psychologically abused by her godmother, and I feel so much of how she acts in general is because of this. I like to think that Ámbar came out to her godmother as a lesbian when she was younger but her Godmother shut it down immediately. Telling her that all the other women in their family got married to rich good looking men and that she must do the same. She tells Ámbar time and time again that what she feels is wrong, and she better start liking the right thing. She dates guys just to appease her Godmother, and in fear of what her friends would think if she were honest with her true feelings. So cut to when the show starts, we see Ámbar and her friends picking on Luna and by association, Nina as well. And ofc Ámbar and Nina knew each other before the show even starts, and we see Ámbar being mean to Nina right off the bat. Literally the first scene where they interact although indirectly. In my story, Ámbar has always kinda found Nina pretty, but picked on her to push her emotions away, trying to trick herself into hating her. But she can't always be 100% with it. I notice in scenes they share, when her friends pick on Nina, she ALWAYS shuts them up and makes them apologize, not wanting Nina to be treated unfairly. (ik a lot of this is acting for her schemes but in my heart a part of it is also genuine). This goes on for a long time. While this is happening, Nina posts online under her persona named 'Felicity', and Ámbar starts to kinda fall for her. Her friends hate her because she often picks on the kind of clothes they wear, but Ámbar likes her honesty and boldness. Plus, it takes her mind off of Nina. Maybe she's finally moving away from that stupid crush...well, cut to sometime later when one day Nina preforms as Felicity, and takes off the wig she's wearing, revealing Felicity and Nina to be one in the same. Ámbar sees it all, realizing she's still been liking Nina this whole time. Shes right back at square one. Past this point, they're kinda neutral with each other. Lowkey trying to be kind to each other and flirting. But once S3 starts with her Godmother now out of the picture, maybe Ámbar can finally admit her feelings. Along with this, Nina- who has also kinda liked Ámbar all along- falls even harder once she see's this her new dark aesthetic. Soon, the two of them build up a friendship through more awkward attempts at kindness and flirting. Nina begins to leave Ámbar secret love messages, and Ámbar doesn't really pay them much mind, assuming its just from another guy. Until it all comes to a head, and the admirer asks Ámbar to meet them at the rink, where they'll reveal their identity. She goes, just to let the 'guy' down easy, only to find out it was Nina all along. wow that was a lot of text haha. Anyway if u read all that, thanks for sticking around!

[a-really-good-lawyer-abandoned]

I've seen a number of discussions of the NMCU Daredevil ep Nelson V Murdock, some of which I couldn't understand, and figured I'd throw in my 2 cents so far as my feelings on one particular thing.

I really, really dislike what I call the 'BFF Secret Identity Reveal Fallout' trope.

I see it all the time, often as a key narrative beat when attempting to create tension or complexity. The hero has someone they care for or trust more than anyone else, but they keep the secret out of fear - fear of a number of things, but often at the core a fear of rejection. This might be amplified by the BBF previously expressing negative feelings about the masked persona.

Then the secret comes out, and just as they feared the BFF is angry, and at the center of the interpersonal tension is the fact that the hero lied, and that's the part that gets to me, because the reasons for why the hero lied seem to so rarely be taken into consideration - lying, especially to a loved one, is depicted as wrong in and of itself.

But here's the thing - lying isn't inherently amoral.

(I'll note here that I recognize this is an opinion - our personal morals are steadfast, connecting to our core values, which are actually the anchors of our identities/sense of self, but they're just that: personal, not universally absolute. What I'm expressing here is my own opinion.)

The concept that it is inherently amoral gets my back up, and I know it's because of personal experience (good times with trauma! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧), but I think my feelings are legitimate nonetheless. I know how it is to lie to protect yourself or others from harm, physical or otherwise; that there are times honesty is unsafe, or even simply unkind. I know how it is to lie out of fear of rejection - every time I come out to someone I feel it. I've learned the hard way that someone who has given every indication that they have zero issue with queerness and would be accepting of my queerness can end up not being accepting. It rips my heart out every time, and does nothing to help my own trust issues - this reminder that you can never actually know how a person will react to something, or how they'll treat you as a result.

I know how it is for a friend to believe that them showing me trust creates an obligation that I show them the same - the expectation that trust from one party should engender an equal degree of trust in the other, regardless of what is or isn't being shared or what either party's personal experiences have been.

Now, how does that apply to these fictional situations? Well, it varies depending on the story of course, but when the 'lesson' is just straight up 'lying is amoral' or even 'best friends should never hide things from each other', I grit my teeth. The impact of a lie on the person it's told to is put front and center, while the impact of revealing the truth on the liar is treated as secondary or even treated as moot. The liar broke The Rules by lying, and that makes them the one in the wrong, full stop.

I see that a lot in discussions of why or why not people consider Foggy's reaction 'right' or 'wrong', and rarely consideration of the shape his reaction took (whether the things he said were warranted, fair, or should later be discussed or apologized for). I see people saying that Matt's reasons don't matter, and that he was wrong for not trusting Foggy (and whew, the issue of Matt's ability to trust is a whole other thing, speaking of trauma). I also see people defending some things Foggy said on the basis that he was angry and had a right to be, when his right to be angry isn't actually the issue. If I say something unfair or unkind, etc, in the heat of the moment, it's my responsibility to talk that out with the person later when tempers have cooled, regardless of whether I was 'right' or 'wrong'. That's the kind of thing healthy communication and healthy interpersonal relationships require. All emotions are valid, but not all behavior rooted in that emotion is.

Of course, it's a very complex thing. Sometimes there isn't a clear cut 'person A was Wrong and person B was Right'. And what you lied about and why factors in, but that's exactly the point. My ex lying to me because of trauma-caused trust issues? Understandable. Him doing it because he was afraid I'd dump him when I learned he'd been cheating? Nope.

And then there's the 'you should have known it would be different with you' thing.

I recently saw a situation play out in a story where the hero brings up the BFF's previously expressed opinions on the masked persona and the BFF saying that the hero should have known that their opinion would be different as far as the hero is concerned - that their particular case would be viewed differently, an exception to the rule, so to speak.

I don't love that, either. 'It's okay because it's you' is a kind of exception that isn't the kindness it's so often portrayed to be. I've had people say homophobic or sanist things then tell me that oh, they don't mean *me* of course, because I'm *different*. My grandparents heard the same kind of thing all the time growing up, having friends say all kinds of antisemetic garbage in front of them and say, 'oh, but we don't mean you, of course'.

When I'm treated as an exception because I'm a 'good queer', it isn't a relief. That person still disdains what I am. Them saying that to me isn't kind, and I can't believe it to be kind in these fictional contexts. If the BFF can understand, accept, or even get behind why the hero takes certain actions - or even commits certain crimes - that should open the door to the possibility that there may be more to why other people do similar things. A more openminded viewpoint, such as a willingness to look at all the factors before rendering judgement, should be the result, not 'it's okay just this once because I care about the person doing it'.

My feelings about people equating criminality with amorality is a whole other complication when it comes to my thoughts on these situations. I won't get into that here, but I thinks it's another issue worth consideration.

I'm not going to write out my opinion on the Foggy/Matt conflict, though I do get into it a little in the fic I'm writing. I really just wanted to express my issue with that particular aspect of that narrative trope in general and how it's discussed, and the way the matter of trust and applying morality to distrust is often talked about, too. I may be expectionally sensitive to this kind of thing, or maybe I'm not. I'm not sure my possible sensitivity is the point, though.

Either way, it's a trope that gives me a lot of anxiety, and when I rewatch shows or reread stories I often find myself needing to skip those parts. That goes for fanfic, too.

[bracketsoffear]

Vincent Price (The Price of Fear) "(To be clear, this is a fictionalised version of himself that he portrayed in a radio show, not the real life person. Although the "total strangers confess weird often disturbing and confidential things to him unprompted" aspect WAS apparently true of him in real life--I don't know that anyone ever confessed to murder but a lot of strangers who recognised him would apparently confide all kinds of secrets and strange stories to him since he was fairly nonjudgemental and wasn't the type of guy to interrupt or walk away when someone was talking to him. The "just knowing things" part…well, he did believe he had some level of psychic abilities/premonitions IRL, but I don't know what to make of that. Either way though the character being submitted for this poll is the fictionalised version, who shares a lot of traits with the real man but gets into clearly fictional situations in each episode.) Vincent discovers all kinds of Dark Secrets (TM) in the form of a different supernatural or murdery event each episode. Sometimes this involves him actively investigating mysteries to discover the truth about various strange occurrences. Other times he's more of a witness to events, often becoming the only person alive to know the truth about something horrible--for instance going on a fishing trip with a guy leads to him discovering the guy's been killing people and feeding them to sharks. Other times, people just…tell him things--in fact, people open up to him extremely quickly in most episodes, he only has to ask a couple of questions to get someone to tell him all about his experience of being possessed, but the most notable examples are the FOUR occasions where a total stranger approaches him, sits down opposite him, and confesses to murder almost totally unprompted, in an unusually coherent way (OK so one guy was a very nervous and hesitant person who takes a little bit of prompting, but his confession still forms a coherent and narratively interesting enough story to make an episode of a radio show!), while Vincent just (mostly) calmly listens to it all. Also he…knows stuff. Inexplicably. Like, maybe not concrete factual stuff so much, but like, at least to what in a different context I'd call force-sensitive levels. Any time he thinks something's wrong, or someone's in danger, or that he might never see this person again, or he claims to sense Evil, without fail he is accurate. (Also the promotional art for the show features him staring at you somewhat disturbingly.)"

Futaba Sakura (Persona) "A playful hacker who acts as the Phantom Thieves’ Mission Control, using her technological skills to uncover information in the real world and her Navigator abilities to provide information about the Palaces and Shadows in the Metaverse. The Phantom Thieves recruited her to take down the hacker group Medjed (named after an Egyptian deity whose description calls him “that smiter […] who shoots with his eyes”), only to discover that she’s the original Medjed. Her Personas are Necronomicon (a source of forbidden knowledge that drives people mad), Prometheus (who stole fire from the gods for humanity), and Al Azif (the Arabic title of the Necronomicon). By remembering the truth behind her mother’s death, she unlocked Necronomicon: "What denies you is an illusion… A curse put upon you by the heartless… You knew from the very beginning… And yet, you cowered in fear. […] The forbidden wisdom has been revealed. No mysteries, no illusions will deceive you any longer." Her technological prowess is second to none: not only does she manage to take down a corporate executive impersonating her hacker group Medjed, but she manages to crack into more-or-less every television broadcast in Japan to send a calling card from the Phantom Thieves to Masayoshi Shido, just to make absolutely sure he knows they're coming. As the original Medjed, her skills were of worldwide fame, even if her own identity remained anonymous. She has a habit of using her skills without regard for privacy or consequences, such as her bugging of Leblanc to keep an eye on Sojiro, bugging the protagonist's phone camera so she can keep an eye on them during their trip to Hawaii, and finding out her Uncle's financial history. When the Thieves are targeting Makoto’s sister Sae, she offers to tell them about Sae’s history with men and “her repertoire of underwear.” Makoto even mentions before the Hawaii trip that she's glad Futaba is on their side, recognizing she'd make a fearsome enemy."

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode five (pt. 1)

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

Now i'm sure of it kang bo geol is jung ki ho. No one can change my mind. The way he's expressing anger because mok ha came to seoul station just because of a note. The way he's told her and ran joo time and time again not to share personal information on national television. The fact that he literally ran to seoul station without woo hak telling him what was written on the card. All details leading to him being ki ho. He was scared of his father finding out about mok ha, and subsequently about him. He's releasing all of his pent up fear and anger because he knows that his father is after him. All his efforts of hiding his identity have gone down the drain. It's understandable to see him so stressed and angry.

Mok ha's reaction is also natural. She's been alone for such a long time. She's having a hard time adjusting to the world. Her main goal is to reunite with the only person who was there for her during high school. She has no idea if he's safe or not and it's driving her crazy. Because, as much as ki ho saved and protected her, she wants to do the same now for him. She never got the chance to because he hid the ab*se pretty well. It's only on the ferry/boat that she knew ki ho was also a victim of parental ab*se. It tore her heart to know someone else was going through the same things as her. Mok ha had time to dwell on that when on the deserted island. Now that she's finally "back with the civilization" (if i can call it that), she wants to thank him and know how he's doing. She wants to help him in return. So it's only natural for her to be so adamant on finding ki ho.

I just find it weird that woo hak keeps having flashbacks that seem to involve ki ho's father. It doesn't make any sense because ki ho doesn't have a brother. Not that I know of? Did they mention any siblings in the first episode? I'm certain they talked about ki ho's mother, but I don't think the show mentioned any sibling. Anyway, I am very confused about the flashbacks.

Mok ha feeling relieved that ki ho's father hasn't found him.

It's interesting how both woo hak and bo geol keep questioning mok ha about ki ho but mok ha never stops believing in him. After all, he's the only person she could fully trust. He (ki ho) is the only one who helped her when she was on the brink of giving up completely. It goes to show how powerful kindness and empathy are. Ki ho pushed her towards her dream. He was the glimmer of hope mok ha needed in these dark times. Mok ha will never forget him. I don't know if there will be a love story in this drama but the only thing mok ha wants is to find ki ho alive and safe. She doesn't want anything else. She just needs to know he's doing okay. It's a beautiful thing to see their bond never broke (at least on mok ha's side) even after all these years. Mok ha and ki ho are each other's emotional support.

On a side note, I can't help but wonder why bo geol (who i think is ki ho) is so distant towards mok ha. I mean with all the longing gazes he throws her way and the little details that show he is ki ho (if i'm wrong i'm not it's the show being hashtag hateful towards me), I expect a bit more enthusiasm from him. I have a theory but I'm not sure about it. I believe he is distant because he's spent a really long time building his new identity. He has finally succeeded in escaping from his father so when he found mok ha, he was torn between being happy that she's alive and fearing for his own safety. Being the smart kid that he is, he knew that when his father found out mok ha was alive, he (the father) wouldn't stopped until he found his son. This could explain his cold behavior. I still wonder why he didn't reveal his identity to mok ha.

You can NOT tell me bo geol isn't ki ho. Did you see how fast he was to oppose to reporting his father to the police? The fear in his eyes reminds me of young ki ho hiding from his father and not wanting to cause a scene. The one time he tried to report his own father to the police, things turned sour. Plus add the fact he knows his father is after him. He doesn't want to face him ever again.

The emergency contact scene was wholesome 🥺

I've never wanted to swear at someone so bad. I'm talking about lee seo jun. After taking advantage of ran joo, he slowly distanced himself and the company away from her just so he could be the only ceo. He's so scared of ran joo's success because he knows she'll focus more on the talent aspect, and not so much on the marketing strategy. After becoming a household name, lee seo jun got hungry for more money and fame and it's absolutely disgusting to see. I really hope ran joo can find a loophole and reach the 20 million album sales 🤞

i like that both ran joo and mok ha are trying to find a solution to solve the album sale problem.

It's interesting to note how mok ha seems to be way more accepting towards people she loves and admires. Ran joo took out her frustration on mok ha and blamed her situation on her (mok ha) and mok ha was already apologizing when she did nothing wrong. She's had this fantasy of ran joo for a while and now she's afraid of damaging their friendship. I'm thankful bo geol is there to open her eyes, or else mok ha would still be apologizing.

[lizard-sheningans]

Hey! So I'm on a mission to make sure the alterhuman/non-human/otherkin/and so many others/ communities are properly represented. I'm a snow leopard kin and voidkin myself and know that there are a lot of misconceptions about us, a long with just not much information on some certain topics about our communities. With all of that being said, if you were to see more writing about our communities, what do you think needs to be mentioned more often?

Hello!

Thanks for this ask! Really appreciate that!

I think the community does do a good job of education already. Misconceptions are created in the most well known communities and concepts everywhere on the world. So I think it's a pretty balanced potion of misinformation running around and the blogs that share educative stuff are doing a fantastic job to not let this misinformation win.

We share many things. We're talking about gear not being an obligation but simply a nice accessory to make the invisible visible. And about quadrobics being an actual sport that nonhumans make use of to be able to feel a bit more content in their movements. About terms and their definitions. And so many more.

And as I sit here and write this answer, I realized that there's indeed something that I haven't read much about. And that's the therianthropy related identity crisis and why it's happening. So let's talk about that one. I'm gonna use my own story for this.

I myself was questioning myself for many years. I was so uncertain and doubted everything I was thinking to be my wereside. Wereside is pretty much the old term for theriotype. To make it more understandable for the newer folks, Imma use the word "theriotype". This crisis I mentioned happened due to two reasons:

a) I'm a talkative one and looking for some chill places to talk with fellas. I do that very often and intensily sometimes. And quite a couple of years ago, grilling was a common thing. I got grilled so often and didn't have the settled answers as a 13-years-old that people wished me to have. So I started thinking "everything I say is wrong".

b) Fear of being excluded as a non-wolf or something else that's "cool enough" for the community. I was so afraid because people started telling me I wasn't an actual therian if I wasn't a wolf, tiger, lioness or something like that. And that happened so often, I was feeling lost and started to feel like anything but a small reptile. That left me switching from animal to animal with no actual point over the years. It became a pattern very quickly. I had to overcome this myself and it was hard work.

So, what do we learn from this lifestory of mine? We learn that grilling - as useful as it is - can be a very harmful process. Let people decide when to be grilled. And don't grill younger therians excessively. They're not self-reflected enough (no offense, that's an actual fact that you can find eg. in the neurological development studies of children). They didn't dwell in such deep questions yet - as in "why do I feel my hands the way I feel them? Is that neurological? Is that spiritual? Am I fine?" Some just grew up like this and learn that that's not the usual feeling of the hands once they got older and made experiences which make them ask deeper questions about themselves.

And don't tell anyone how "cool/uncool" their theriotype is. That can hurt some people and lead younger ones to something deeper - like a crisis - if it happens too often. We're all sitting in the same boat. We're nonhumans living a human life, different to what we're used to, what we wish, what we were supposed to or [insert your version here].

Everybody is equally real, everybody is equally perfect! No matter their theriotype and no matter their beliefs in that stance! Acceptance and patience are the key!

[dafuq-lyrehc]

This year more than ever I’ve struggled with the way I think people perceive me. I’ve been coming to terms with being neurodivergent, maybe autistic or cptsd or both (there’s enough evidence to support both I think). But realizing, I am very other had me questioning everything about everything. Maybe my social anxiety stems from some lack of social knowing and everyone can/could see it, even when I couldn’t. In general, I don’t really like being perceived and that usually presents in me being silent or purposely doing things to shape people’s perceptions. As a teenager, I started to do a thing where I wouldn’t really try if I had to do something in front of others so then if they judged me for it, well I wasn’t trying. And even before then, I’d often make myself the butt of the joke before anyone else can. (still do) I’m the designated “funny friend” who is usually cheerful and ready to laugh. This way if people judge or dislike me, it’s not even me. It’s the show I’m putting on. They don’t even know me for me. And this caricature of myself is unbothered or you can be convinced she is. She’s so unbothered, the things that should bother her are material for the casual comedy routine she’s about to perform for you to show exactly how unbothered she is.

The past few months I’ve been working on trying to be more authentically myself. It’s hard. I never realized I carried so much shame and embarrassment for existing. I saw a post on here about letting people be wrong about you. I’m trying to marinate in that. The other day my roommate came home and shared a story about his coworker (we work for the same company, different locations, but I trained at his location) and his coworker implied that I was not capable of critical and philosophical thought and that when put into a situation that required it, maybe I’d just laugh because I didn’t understand. This was interesting because I’ve always been “the smart girl”. I was salutatorian in high school, graduated magna cum laude in math and psychology. I used to wish people would see something other than “the smart girl”. But yet it still bothers me that she thinks of me this way. I mean she’s wrong, so there’s that, but more than anything it has me questioning how people see me.

My self perception has been a roller coasters this year. Half the time I don’t know who I am, but I do because I’ve never changed? (This blog is proof i haven’t changed in over a decade now) Just a sad little guy who loves other sad little guys, especially if they kiss their fellow sad little guys, but will smile and laugh through the sadness bc what else is there to do *shrug*. It’s just interesting how there can be so many different perspectives of a person. I used to think I was bad at making friends because it terrified me and my social anxiety tells me everyone secretly hates me, but I’ve been given so much evidence to dispute this. I make friends very easily and if the unprompted declarations of like are true, people tend to like me. This truth was such a shift from how I thought people saw me, and while a good revelation, it added to my own mistrust of my self perception or the perception I assumed others had of me.

I just want to not care. I want to be free. I want to do what I want and not worry about other people. I just want to exist without fear of judgment. The road to get there is just so fucking uncomfortable. I want people to like me so bad. I realized I want people to like me so bad I won’t even notice that I don’t like them. I’ll be worried they don’t like me but it’s because I don’t like them. I want to untangle my identity from other people in my mind. When I think of myself, I want the only opinion to be mine. I’m trying to shed my skin to be born anew but the dead skin keeps getting caught in the labyrinth of my thoughts. I think too much, over-analyzing and dissecting every word, movement, change in tone, or lack thereof from others. In a Will Graham like fashion, reconstructing events through the eyes of others to try and understand how they feel about me. (Unlike will graham, I often misinterpret the evidence)

So yea, FUCK THAT

2024 is the year of Cringe Fail Cheryl , hallowed be thy name

I will be the most unabashedly cringey i have ever been bc that’s who I am and I have no reason to be embarrassed.

[box4brains]

Argh… I had the terrible unfortunate of expanding on one of the, like, million stories about Law and One Piece bouncing around in my head currently and it’s an AU where Cora-san lives (basically, Laws soul crushing despair over seeing Cora practically dead in the snow makes something happen with his fruit, almost like an awakening but it’s not actually. Anyway, he subconsciously swaps himself with some snow and dirt next to Cora and in his current state he can see the treads of life slipping away from Cora and in a desperate attempt to save the other man he intertwines his life-force with Cora, basically making it so that they’re two separate people but sharing the same life. Law gets them to Swallow island and a lot of things happen differently but still similarly to how it played out in universe. Mostly because Cora’s fucking crippled. He’s in a coma for almost 4 years and can’t really move around by himself until the time shortly before they reach Sabaody. He stays behind on the ship and freaks the fuck out when Law returns with Jean Bart and hears he’s been a slave of the celestial dragons and immediately apologizes and tells JB his actual name (as he’s only been known as ’Cora-san’ by everyone else) and his identity as a former CD as he felt it was wrong to keep that information from the former slave. Law gets livid at Cora for “sharing useless information” and they end up having another explosive argument right then and there. When the dust settles they had revealed a lot of information about their past to everyone present and although still furious, Law lets JB know if he harbors any feelings of gratitude for Law, the one who actually should be on the receiving end of those emotions is Cora-san, since Law owes the man a life-debt, and asks JB once again if he is willing to join his crew. JB does and Law drags him away stating he’s going to remove his slave brand since he finds it an eyesore and that the only mark allowed on his ship is his own. Moving on to after the time skip, after Punk Hazard, Law and the straw hats meet up with the rest of Law’s crew and Law is livid that they defied orders and didn’t leave for Zoe like he’d told them to and snaps at Cora that Law’s the captain and he’s well in his right to have everyone executed for insubordination and treason. Cora, knowing full well that when Law gets mad, Law get mean, puts up one of his sound barriers so Law can scream his heart out to him without worrying about other people hearing him. Cora and Law are at a stalemate, Cora is terrified of letting Law anywhere near his brother by himself and Law absolutely refuses to entertain the idea of Cora anywhere near Doflamingo. He begs Cora to stay on the Tang and when Cora is incapable of agreeing to such an outrageous thing, Law breaks under the pressure of all his worries and fears and ends up admitting to what he did to save Coras life and the shock from that bombshell accidentally causes the sound barrier to break and suddenly the SH and heart pirates have first row seats to the end of the argument that ends up with Law passing out in Coras arms. The stress and toil of his devil fruit finally taking its toll on him. After having asked/begged someone from the hearts to take Law to his room so that he can rest, Cora breaks down. He can’t understand how on earth he fucked up this badly. All he wanted for Law was for him to live, happy and free, far from his psychotic brother. Instead he had severely traumatized an already severely traumatized child and the knowledge makes him lament over being “every inch his father’s child” (ie, someone who wishes to do good but fucks up beyond comprehension). He ends up spilling the whole sordid tale of himself, his brother and Law to the crews and specifically begs the SHP to help him protect Law, since he’s obviously incapable of doing that himself. Cora is barely able to stay awake, least of all standing up or walking and JB finally decides he’s had enough of this ridiculous fucking family (meaning Cora and Law) and scopes Cora up to take him to his sickroom

[04nc1n9]

haven’t slept in a while so thoughts are going mushy and i came up with a headcannon for zelda that statistically probably already exists but i don’t care. i came up with it while thinking about how fun it is to annoy zelda fans by calling link zelda. so firstly i will explain what i hope to convince you of throughout this; the legend of zelda is a metaphorical and literal transition story of ganon transitioning into zelda, with link being the space in-between when she was questioning her gender and felt too anxious to even speak. okay so i have like zero cold hard facts and, although i own and have access to a ton of zelda games, have only played like the tutorial to two of them. this may not be very well explained, but i do have the combined information of almost two decades worth of consuming creepypastas, game theories, and miscellaneous info on all of the games. first piece of evidence: the “three” of ganon, link, and zelda are all essentially soul bonded together through divine prophecies and such. it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that they all share a single, albeit fragmented, soul. this soul materialises as the triforce (i do not care about some goddesses that the triforce actually represent, the goddesses are just zeldas inner conscience. boom won.), the triforces being might (i think) for ganon, courage for link, and wisdom for zelda.  lets start with ganons piece of the triforce and work from there. so, ganon is linked to the “might” piece of the triforce, the piece that symbolises tyrannical rule, physical strength, a stalwart defence, and brutality. i think, again i haven’t played the games. with all my expertiese (that ebing none) i believe that ganon represents a stage in zeldas life where she was so far into the closet that she denied her true self and turned to crushing both herself and others. yes, i am saying that ganon is zelda from a time where in order to escape herself and ridicule that she believed could have been brought upon her by others, tried to swing harshly in the opposite direction. she embodied every toxic stereotype of masculinity, pushed other trans people down, and tried to project her self-hatred onto others. let’s leave gandalf here for now. enter, link. link, as the name suggests, is the transitionary period between rejecting herself and accepting herself. link’s triforce is the triforce of courage, the courage to reject all that you’ve been forced to be by an oppressive society, the courage to own up to your old mistakes and wrongdoings and try to rectify them, the courage to apologise and help others that are struggling, and the courage to be yourself. link, unlike ganon, embodies less of the stereotypical features associated with far end of toxic masculinity. link in many of their games has some form of lost innocence, i believe in one game, after saving the day, was unable to live with the rest of their kin as their actions caused them to age unlike the rest of their kin. i believe, metaphorically, that this is due to links uneasy transition from ganon. before being link they had already shown themself to be antagonistic to people who are questioning their genders. perhaps this is also a reason that link rarely, if ever, speaks. perhaps this could also be a significant reason for link’s undying will to fight back against ganon- link never wants to let ganon win again, link doesn’t want to return to being what they were before they finally started accepting themself, and they want to make amends for all the wrongs they did when they were ganon. perhaps the events of majora’s mask were link further questioning, and maybe becoming panicked, that they couldn’t figure themself out- and in blind fear started taking on the identities of people around them, as if putting on masks. and maybe, just maybe, heart canisters are a metaphor for taking estrogen. i don’t know how to justify this it just feels right. but after all that desperate searching- there stood geruda clan which link had to dress femme to enter. i believe this to be the moment that, after all the years spent questioning, link finally began to understand who they, she, really was on the inside. wearing clothes that affirmed the gender of the “zelda” hidden deep within and being accepted into a women’s-only space, even if link wasn’t doing it with the intentions of self-discovery to begin with, and even if it will take time for them to understand what that feeling truly was, it was there. again, i haven’t played botw, i only know about this whole thing from femboy link art. now onto zelda, after all the trials she had to go through, she finally accepted that this is who she is. the triforce of wisdom; enlightenment, knowledge, experience. zelda has all of this because she has experienced centuries of living in many different shoes trying to find the one that fit, until one finally did. but, even after coming this far, she knows she is still wearing those wacky-physics steel shoes also known as “ganon,” she knows that even if she did come this far what is behind her must still be amended, and even after all those decades she still works against her past self, trying to overcome the damage she, and others who were like her past selves, have done. she developed a way to speak with her past selves (because elf magic, duh) to try and help them on their journey to becoming her, but the only one that seemed to listen was when she was link, and thus she stood by the version of herself that finally was able to udnerstand right from wrong and against the version of herself who was still incpable and tried to make wrongs right. and then she transitioned and got magic powers and time travel and stuff, imma be honest i’m reaching at this point, i know basically nothing about zelda other than she’s a princess and what i’ve already written. i’m going to be honest i could come up with a shit ton more absolute word vomit like ganon being just slightly off from another anti-trans (basically anti-everything tbh) hate group but i don’t want to bloat it. so that’s my theory on trans zelda, hope you enjoyed. my eyes are throbbing and dry and i need to sleep.

[gentil-minou]

There are plenty of posts going around about Adrien and his responses to trauma, and in light of the recent trailer @flightfoot made this great post about how Kuro Neko highlights Adrien's trauma response

But I want to explain how Marinette's actions this season are also trauma based. Which is why I'm here because you cannot tell the story without both sides.

IMPORTANT: if you like what I wrote and want to share it somewhere else, PLEASE ask me first so I can get credit and monitor the post. I have seen this post on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Reddit, and those are just the ones I've found or have been shared with me. I'm flattered you like my post but please ask me first. I've come across people making extremely cruel and invalidating remarks and I am trained to handle that but you might not be. Trauma is an extremely sensitive subject and needs to be handled with care and I don't want to be responsible for causing someone harm without even knowing it.

First a refresher of Mari's trauma: Pressure related to being Ladybug, Losing Master Fu (aka the only person she could trust), and most notably in this instance: Chat Blanc and recently Ephemeral (where she doesn't know what exactly went wrong, only that something did when identities were revealed)

I wanted to find an infographic that had everything I wanted but I couldn't so here's a link to the US Department of Veteran Affairs and common reactions after trauma.

Specifically, I'm looking at this list, where I've highlighted what Marinette has shown in canon since the events of Chat Blanc/S3 finale

I explain each of these with examples under the cut

1. Losing hope for the future: Truth and Gang of Secrets where Mari actively stops pursuing all romance. (Though Mari has managed to heal from this in Mr Pigeon 72, but she doesn't know Adrien is Chat yet so that will likely change things)

2. Feeling distant, detached: Distancing herself from Chat, whether this was intentionally or intentionally done.

3. Being unable to concentrate or make decision: could also be ADHD but she usually is able to figure out akumas even then. Ephemeral was the best example where she appeared all over the place (remember the notable absence of Chat)

4. Feeling jumpy/getting startled easily: Truth and probably other instances.

5. Feeling guard and alert all the time: Gang of Secrets, likely other episodes as well

6. Having dreams/memories that upset you: Sentibubbler nightmare

7. Having problems at work and school: Gang of Secrets and one can argue being Ladybug is her "job" and she's also had challenges there.

8. Avoiding people, places, things related to event: See Chat Noir, putting more on Alya instead (possibly due to worries of letting Chat too close or reveal to him)

9. Trouble sleeping: Low energy early in the season and canonical nightmares

(There are less physical symptoms because Mari doesn't complain about those much and the show doesn't focus on it, but if it did I can bet she has some of those)

10. Feeling nervous, helpless, fearful, sad: See pretty much the entire season but especially early on and what I suspect we will see more of in Kuro Neko

11. Being irritable or having angry outbursts: Kuro Neko, as well as other instances. There are also unconfirmed spoilers as well, I can't remember if that one leak from the VA was the finale or Kuro Neko but that is there as well.

12. Getting easily upset or agitated: See above, also Gang of Secrets and a little bit of Mr Pigeon 72

13. Being unable to trust, getting into fights: See, Chat Noir, especially Ephemeral and Kuro Neko.

14 (made this its own one) trying to control everything: Mr Pigeon 72 where she tries to fix adrigami. Also Hack-san and her 500 tips to care for your catboy. In general, she feels and does this alot and partially it's her being the leader but she does it to the extent that it seems physically impossible for her to relax

15. Feeling detaches, not wanting intimacy: intimacy can have more than one meaning and if you ask my her relationship with Chat Noir is incredibly intimate. She's pulling away.

If I did a trauma screening for Marinette, I have no doubt she'd meet criteria for PTSD. So folks, please don't salt on EITHER of these characters. They've been through so much at such a young age and I cant be surprised at the result.

[thelostgirl21]

I keep seeing posts about a "love triangle" between Geralt, Jaskier and Yennefer; sort of wondering who would be "in the middle" ...

... and here I am, picturing them in a full polyromantic and polyamorous relationship together, having each developed their shared as well as unique connections with each other, raising and protecting Ciri together, each bringing in their own unique set of skills to share with the girl.

That's not to say that the polyromantic/polyamorous relationships where there's a "middle", and two of the three partners aren't really into each other romantically and/or sexually, are wrong or not valid.

On the contrary.

But after what I've seen in Season 2, I can fully imagine Jaskier and Yennefer being involved together directly, without needing Geralt to maintain the interest and connection in their relationship alive.

After all, it's been rather well established that this version of Jaskier is drawn to strong and autonomous people in general, and that he genuinely falls in love with virtually everyone he meets, rather than seek to "trick them" into having sex with him under potentially false pretenses.

His antagonism towards Yennefer came largely, in my personal belief, from his very first significant memory of her.

Waking up to find Yennefer half naked by the foot of his bed - threatening him to get what she wants through sheer power and superior strength - literally assaulting him by grabbing him by the balls - after ordering him to "do some scales for her" to test his voice, is bound to start any potential relationship on the wrong foot.

Not to mention that singing is intimately tied to Jaskier's identity and self-esteem. So, making him sing under duress (rather than because he wishes to express himself, and willingly share that part of himself with others) and grabbing his genitals like that, made him perceive her as a threatening predator / monster.

Hostility comes generally from fear.

And he doesn't even try to hide that he doesn't trust her, and wishes Geralt would keep his distances from her because she is a terrifying witch.

He even watched her openly manipulate that knight for her own gain on the dragon hunt - her interest in him entirely devoid of any sincerity or emotional connection.

"Sometimes, the best thing a flower can do for us is die", she was taught.

Then suddenly, she comes to him humbled, without magic, on the run, among those persecuted for having eleven blood, and - though still very capable and potentially scary in her own way - no longer acting predatory towards him.

They are HUGGING!!!

She is now a prey needing his help and protection; and asking him for it, rather than trying to take it by force from him.

It does not make their prior encounter okay per say... But like Batey said, Jaskier is both an absolute genius and a total idiot.

I think he did get a sense that, when they first met, she was hungry and desperate to fill a certain void within herself; and that there was a more complex, deeper story beneath her behavior and who she was that he knew very little about.

Jaskier can now afford to look at her and truly listen without fear, as she shows vulnerability and respect for who he is and what matters to him as well.

She's even the one implying that there's more to him than "being a bard", and that he'd find a new purpose if he could no longer sing or write songs.

She's grown, he's grown, they have a deep mutual understanding of loss, and feeling unwanted...

They do not need Geralt in the middle to relate to each other, care about each other, and even grow to love each other.

And yeah, I think that Jaskier's teasing is also a way for him to move past the primal fear she once inspired him, come to term with those feelings, and move past them.

He seems to be a big believer in second (third, fourth...) chances, and leaving room for people to learn from past mistakes and misbehaviors, and grow.

So yes, she did overstep important boundaries and terrified him at first... But now he's learned that she's also able of risking her own life for those she cares about, and she came back to save him despite no longer having her magic, thus putting herself in significant danger.

If that had been the version of Yennefer he'd first encountered, Jaskier would likely have tried saving her from the djinn himself.

Geralt saw the cracks through her façade because she never was a predator to him.

The hunger she felt and void she was trying to fill? He understood where it came from, and saw a kindred spirit in her.

The initial connections may have been Geralt <--> Jaskier, and Geralt <--> Yennefer...

But Season 2 evened the power dynamic between them to offer us Yennefer <--> Jaskier; and it was beautiful, and phenomenal, and felt very genuine and organic...

And I just want them to be happy all three together now, for some reason...