#she can say what she likes I'm not allowed to be angry but I cant say anything or she will guilt or scold me

[zannolin]

you ever get an idea that is sooooo. arghhhhh bites into a roof tile and cries.

[zeussim]

I used to bar my door with a chair to prevent my mom barging in and yelling at me when I'd left dinner before I was allowed to (often because of an argument). And I was like 'this is normal. This is what parents are like.' No it's fucking not. Or at least they're not supposed to be like that.

[beiibeiii]

I love the idea of dom girls turning into absolute losers just for you. Like, Acheron after a long killing spree comes home and you're wearing nothing but a frilly apron as Acheron turns into a pile of mush. Arlecchino angrily commanding her subordinates before you come in and kiss her on the cheek and then she becomes a stuttering mess. Would also say something about the ptn girls but I'm new to the fandom so...

But yeah, hot girls who could break your back just becoming absolute messes under you is super hot.

OMG ME TOO THATS SO CUTE? AKSKDK SORRY THIS TOOK WAY TO LONG FOR ME TO ANSWER

acheron comes home drenched in blood, dripping it all over the floors of your cosy home. of course she feels bad for making a mess in your house, especially after promising to come home early. you were in nothing but your pretty frilly apron. that harsh look in her eyes immediately melted when she saw you. your lips frowning as your rubbing a towel on her face, wiping the blood off her face for her. you ask whether shes okay and if she's hurt. she cant help but blush at the fact that she has a pretty, caring girlfriend to come home to. your words went through one ear and out the other. she was too busy staring at your beautiful, worried face. just nodding at everything you say without realising it, like a cute little puppy.

so you had lightly tugged on her sleeve, leading her towards the bathroom. she allowed you to take her wherever you wanted to. if it were anyone else she would of cut them into pieces already. you ran a hot, warm bath for her. there were bath bubbles, beautiful rose petals and soft, calming music in the background. she just stood there admiring her hard working girlfriend. if she had a tail you could see it wagging like crazy right now. you help her out of her dirty clothes as she gets in the bath. its warm and theres a light smile on her face. your about to leave to wash her clothes before she lightly grabs your wrist. her puppy eyes looking up to you, feeling a little shy as she speaks.

"can you.. bath with me please? i want you to stay."

it wasnt long before you got rid of your frilly little apron. dipping into the bath with her.

you were washing her hair for her. your soft hands massaging her scalp so perfectly. her eyes closed with a stupid little smile on her face. she was just a silly, clingy puppy. nobody would of expected her to of just finished a violent killing spree if they saw the state she was in right now. she was so obedient and cute for her only love..

arlecchino was infamous for her merciless way of handling things. that cold, angry look on her face never seen faltering. some unfortunate fatui agents had fucked up their mission. the knave angrily shouting at their faces. her harsh words and tone could be heard from a few rooms down. loud bangs and crashes of furniture were being hit in anger. the small group of the fatui were absolutely shaking, trying to hold back tears as they begged for mercy.

no one had seen the 4th harbinger have an ounce of sympathy for anyone. the shouts from the stoic harbinger stopped. there was a long, painful silence. arlecchino allowing the fatui agents to reflect on their actions. her deadly gaze piercing into them any harder than a knife ever could. arlecchino sighs in aggravation before she's cut off by the door opening. her head shoots towards the door. her face conveying more anger.

"who dares to interrupt-"

she instantly shuts up. her breath getting caught in her throat as you walk in with a wide smile. arlecchinos eyes widen ever so lightly. completely gobsmacked by your sudden appearance. shes gritting her teeth, trying her very best to pretend your presence didnt affect her at all. feeling almost a little guilty for shouting at her precious girl.

"arlecchino!!"

you walk up to her with your stupid, adorable smile. kissing her on the face, oblivious as to what she was doing moments ago. your soft lips on her cheeks makes her feel so warm.. her lips trembled slightly. shes trying to put up her act of harshness, but the poor girl just can't. :(

the fatui agents were confused, seeing their merciless leader so.. submissive for someone.. they do their best not to question and keep their heads down. she immediately clears her throat, staring at the agents in the office.

"leave my office immediately..!"

she stammers out ever so slightly. commanding her useless agents to leave. they leave immediately just as she asked. not questioning or glancing at her in shame and fear. the second she hears the door click, her stoic act completely melted. she lets out a sigh she didnt know she was holding in. she holds your waist so tenderly. pulling you in closer to her, hiding her face into your shoulder.

"what did i say about knocking first dear..?"

she says softly, in an completely different tone as earlier.

"sorry! i wanted to see you!"

you apologise, patting her back a little to show her you meant it. she cant help but smile, burying her head into your shoulder more. shes a blushing mess right now and you know it. she would never act so.. vulnerable in front of anybody else. her dangerous, yet soft hands gently squeeze your waist.

"what an handful.."

for ptn i'd feel like rahu would fit so well for this. poor little puppy girl cant hold in her small smile as you hold her hand. rambling to her while shes on duty. shes blushing over the smallest things and she doesnt like being seen in public like that :(

maybe even iron or ninety-nine would fit too

[persona-brainrot-real]

a very long about haru because i love her and im upset about how the game let her story get overshadowed at every turn

its nearly 3am rn but i'm thinking about how genuinely insane it is for persona 5 to introduce Haru as a character who is struggling to find any of her autonomy and treat her the way that they do. her father is marrying her off to a man who makes it explicitly clear he wants to use her for sex and even Okumura, in his palace, is shown to understand this.

[ID: three screenshots of Persona five royal. In the first, Haru in her Phantom Thief outfit says "Father! You want me to be that mans plaything to satisfy your own ambitions?" the second is of Shadow Okumura, looking angry, saying "This is the only value you've had from the very beginning. The third image is before the boss fight against the cognition of Haru's fiance. He is saying "let's have fun! I'll play with you until I get bored!"]

even outside of the palace, in their daily life he makes it extremely clear that he has no intent on trusting Haru with company business (likely because he expects the company to be handed off to her husband after he dies) and he doesn't acknowledge her feelings or anything she says to defend her own autonomy (i know this is me reciting everything in the game i do have a point)

[ID: three screenshots of Persona five royal. In the first, Haru is upset as she says "So I'm not even allowed to decide where I will live, am I?". In the second, Okumura is saying "not only do you come home late, you've even stayed out overnight without permission..." looking disapproving. In the third image, Okumura is saying "I have my hands full right now with the company. Don't cause any more trouble for me." He is holding his phone.]

even when she first joins your team, she tries to insist on being useful and fighting, considering this is her request and her fathers palace, and morgana tells her she cant. i know its 'for her own sake' that she cant fight, but considering that Morgana was there when she first awakened and planned on using her to get through a palace alone, its really frustrating to then see him say shes not strong enough to fight in a team.

[ID: two screenshots of persona five royal. Both are taken in Okumura's palace. In the first, Haru is saying "I can fight too! Please, let me join you in battle!". In the second, Morgana is saying "Your persona is too weak to fight safely at the moment. Just leave that side of things to us for now."]

and this comes in AFTER morgana, while using her, gets her to insult his friends on his behalf because hes annoyed with them, even though she's visibly uncomfortable doing so, contradicts what morgana wants her to say, and is shown later to have no real malicious feelings for them - and all of the bitter feelings she DID have were because morgana told her that the PT's were mean and didn't treat him right or didn't need him, which wasn't true to begin with, and is why she has to ask him for direction on what to say,

[ID: Haru looks upset. She stands opposite the Phantom Thieves and looks at Morgana. She is asking him "What was it again?"]

and you bring all of this into a brilliant character of a girl who is so self-assured, so firm on what she wants and her own autonomy - i want to be a Phantom Thief, i want to be a hero, i want to have my autonomy but more importantly i want to earn it, i want to change my fathers heart myself so that he becomes a better person and a better business owner, i want to prove to him that i can be trusted with the company and that i have more worth than being married off - but never really gets to express that? Even when it comes to the fight with Okumura and her chance to have her moment - the moment where Yusuke tells Madarame he's a coward who lost sight of his passion, where Ann gets to tell Kamoshida that he's only alive because she wants him to live through all he's done (both in the palace and the real world), where Futaba gets to talk to her mom directly in a scene that always makes me tear up - Haru's moment to stand up to her father is overshadowed by her father speaking to Morgana instead!!!!!

i know that this could also be a huge meta moment - he sees his daughter standing up to him, defending herself, and dismisses her entirely to try and appeal to the next rational subject, a man, but . the man is a cat. it doesnt work as well if he turns to a cat to be like "well certainly you'll be more reasonable" and turns the focus to Morgana - who has already taken up a lot of time that Haru deserved to have recognised!!!!

i have issues with morgana, yes, and I believe a lot of that arc could have been really useful character building for him if it had been handled slightly better, given more weight and better pacing, but it really wouldn't have been such a big problem for me if it hadn't been pushed so heavily during Haru's character moments, because she is SUCH a good character!!!!

in her first appearance she makes for a really good subversion of what the PT's think that they are. her insistence on working for justice helps them work through their temporary doubt for what their purpose is and by having such a difficult situation happening in her life, she unites them all on something that they have to do. At least until they go to Okumura's palace for the first proper investigation, the intent to rescue Haru from her fiance is more important than the Phan-site and more important than any of Okumura's business practices.

she prioritises everyone elses happiness over her own to the point where she watches her father die on live television and tells the PT's to continue having fun at destinyland without her without considering that they'd want to be there for her. She has always suspected that people only wanted to be her friend for her money - and this seems to have affected her so much that despite being 'secretive about her history' at Shujin, she still doesn't mention at any point whether or not she has friends and is only seen speaking with teachers.

after her fathers death she has no real reason to trust any of the PT's - they were navigating with an unknown method, with no proof to show that what they were doing wouldn't cause a mental shutdown, they barely know each other, and yet she trusts them in spite of this and places her faith in the PT's regardless. even when faced with the person who DID kill her father, she understands that his death was a larger piece in a bigger plan and that it wasn't akechi's fault, it was the fault of Shido for ordering him dead, and in Shido's palace she's able to get the catharsis of killing the cognition of the person who aired her fathers death publicly on TV.

And what I think is a more frustrating part than any of that - where all of the Phantom Thieves, after their palace, get following story beats that increase their importance to make sure that you, as the player, can get attached to them, but the more PT's that join the team, the harder it is to juggle all of those characters and a lot of them have very vocal and prominent personalities that keep them involved. Yusuke's general quirks and behaviour keep him interesting, Makoto has an entire arc that's established ages before she's involved in Kaneshiro's palace, Futaba becoming navigator keeps her relevant, but where Haru's arc is taken over by Morgana in the palace where she's introduced, all subsequent story beats are entirely overtaken by Akechi.

Don't get me wrong, I love Akechi and he is in my brain 24/7, but it is extremely unfortunate that her fathers death immediately kickstarts the section of plot where the PT's realise that they're being tricked, meaning the plot suddenly ramps up, and during the school fair (something Haru is explicitly very excited about), Akechi's growing popularity and prominence in the story takes centre stage, especially as a day later he blackmails the PTs and joins their party.

Again, not complaining about Akechi, its just unfortunate that Haru's main story is clouded over by Morgana having a character arc and then the fan favourite comes in and immediately becomes the most prominent character for almost the entire rest of the game. It's sad because I love Haru but it wasn't until I romanced her that I realised how much I love her and how much there is too her - which ESPECIALLY sucks because it makes the section where you're reassuring her in the velvet room fall so flat compared to how you reassure everyone else.

ALL to say that i think it's wild to have a character whose entire arc routinely revolves around proving herself and reclaiming her autonomy from the men in her life, like her father and her fiance, and having her character arc so heavily influenced and even overshadowed by morgana, a male character. thank you guys for listening and if you disagree with me consider writing what your opinions are on your own post and not on mine :3

Anyway. huge rant post over. Haru is my wife and my girlfriend and my silly rabbit and i think she should be hyped up way more. ESPECIALLY for her showtime attack with makoto because that's fucking adorable. everyone must post one thousand haru okumura positivity posts right now

[ID: a gif of Haru Okumura, in her Phantom Thief outfit, holding her hat with one hand and pointing with the other. She says "I am no longer your subservient puppet!" while looking determined.]

[spacedlexi]

Hi Lexi

What do you think of partially blinded Vi? You never seem to draw her that way, and I kind of just wanted to know what do you think of it as a certified Vi lover.

I personally think that while something like this can be "cool" (as in, being beneficial to the character design), it's handled quite poor for Vi and it just looks a bit... ungrateful. Simply doesn't look good, doesn't fit her personality or character (am I missing something?) and it doesn't seem to fit or suit her...unlike Kenny's iconic eyepatch. To me, it has become a pivotal thing in his design to a degree in which Kenny with both eyes seems a bit odd looking. I see it as a symbol which stands for Ken being a martyr and all he's lost and sacrificed. He is all about family and helping those he loved, his loved ones truly were the "apple of his eye". It all makes sense, doesn't it?

But for Vi, it's excatly the opposite. I'm just so sorry to see her like this. 😭😭😭 I don't think it makes sense in any way. Louis losing his tongue because he's so talkative and "won't shut up" does kind of make sense, but I cant help but see Violet losing sight as kind of lazy writing. "We need something bad happening to her!!! suffer the children!!!'- the writers exclaimed.

i think vi losing her eyesight is incredibly impactful on her character and i honestly dont understand why some people say its lazy writing. especially since it was foreshadowed multiple times. vi losing her eyesight i think is even more impactful on her character than louis losing his tongue because at least louis still has his music to express himself and uplift spirits through (and its not like he cant communicate At All. his note still makes clem laugh). the reason i dont draw blind vi very often is because of how sad it is to me. for multiple reasons

violets whole thing is wanting to be able to protect the people she cares about, and feels immense grief and guilt about the times she feels shes failed them (thinks if she had been there with the twins that day that she couldve done something to save them. feels she failed everyone taken by the raiders. is scared of failing clem too "if something happened to you because of me? i cant lose you too. i wont". its why she cant leave minnie after shooting her. and a kidnapped vi attacks clem because she doesnt want anyone else to get hurt. hell it even ties back to her grandma and feeling guilty about not doing anything for her)

so for her to lose her eyesight? she took pride in her ability to fight and now she cant do that anymore. cant protect the people she loves. and as someone who started the season as an isolated loner, it forces her to rely on those around her for help, stripping her of her independence (and her independence is what allowed her to stand up against the group for clem when it came to the marlon situation in ep2). a blinded vi is forced into accepting community, whereas a saved violet accepts it on her own. her and clem turn ericsons into the home violet could never see it as

the other reason blind vi makes me so sad is that it is Directly a result of clems actions. kidnapped vi had nothing and wanted nothing to do with the bomb, and yet shes the ONLY ONE who gets hurt by it. clem choosing to let vi be taken means clem both breaks her heart, and then burns out her eyes. louis and his tongue is between him and lilly and was a choice THEY each made outside of clems direct influence (even if it was clem who inspired him to speak up, it is ultimately his choice to keep talking, and lilly hurts him for it. its sad he gets punished for a character moment, but clem had no direct hand in him losing his tongue. its why hes not angry to see her in the cell. he doesnt blame clem for what happened), but the way vi is feeling in that cell is DIRECTLY due to clems actions. vi feels like clem abandoned her after she had put herself on the line for her multiple times. she always had clems back but clem didnt have hers. clem is the one who planted the bomb and vi gets caught in the blast. clem hurts her emotionally And physically. and vi apologizes for getting upset (she tries to apologize on the beach too before theyre forced out in the cart, so she felt wrong for those actions immediately even tho they were understandable. lilly and minnie used her moment of weakness to get in her head. she just wanted everyone to be safe)

kidnapped blinded vi is just so incredibly sad to me, especially when you compare her to a fully realized violet. a violet who has come into herself, has confidence, has opened up, has stopped pushing people away out of fear and lets herself love again. shes a leader. a fighter. a protector. and those are all things a blinded violet loses

neither vi losing her eyes or louis losing his tongue is supposed to add anything to their characters. its about what theyve lost. both of them have important parts of their identity stripped away from them after being taken by the delta. its supposed to be sad. heartbreaking. regrettable. unfortunate. they have not gained anything by their time at the delta, only lost important parts of themselves to it

[jewish-vents]

its so bad to the point that i cant talk to goyim anymore, i just cant trust them whatsoever. but my therapist is a goy and a few weeks ago i tried to say that i was scared to go to more punk shows because of rampant antisemitism and she basically said that i was just paranoid and that it doesnt matter anyways. so obviously i walked out. but since then i cant talk to her i cant forget about everything that goyim have done to break me these past few months and i cant trust her to talk even about normal stuff. i still go i just sit there in silence while she talks at me for an hour. last week she asked me if someone did something to make me shut down like this and i was just thinking "yeah, my friend was murdered in october and i lost all my irl friends after i saw them cheering on the people who murdered him and i get people telling me almost everyday that hitler shouldve finished the job" but i just stayed silent because i know she'll probably agree with them. when my mum woke me up to take me today i started crying and hyperventilating because im so scared. its really bad because i need her to help get on the diability benefit, i cant work because im disabled and i cant get the benefit alone because my disabilities stop me from going to the meetings and making the phone calls and my brother said im a waste of resources and contribute nothing to society and i cant leave my house because im scared i'll get killed for being jewish

I'm sorry but your therapist sounds like a crappy therapist. It sucks that you need her. You're not a waste of resources and you can contribute to society, but one way or another you have inherent worth that is completely independent from what you can give others. And you have experienced quite a significant bit of trauma, and maybe more things you haven't even mentioned here. You're allowed to feel sad and upset and even angry.

When you need it, you can always come here scream and cry and talk and whatever you want (within the rules, of course). We're not going to judge you and you don't even need to make sense. Just let it out.

Best of luck and I hope it gets better for you

[inconspicious-random-thoughts]

You know what I think would be interesting about Charlie and Alastor's dynamic? It would be in how they influence each other going forward. Alastor is slowly pushing Charlie to becoming a more assertive and inspirational princess as part of his plans to "pull all of the strings" and get out of his deal. Under his tutelage, Charlie will become much more willing to use her abilities in defense of the Hotel and her loved ones, potentially developing something of a ruthless streak as the threats to the Hotel continue to pile up. I also imagine she will start using his philosophy about using smiles to project power and confidence to hide her personal pain and growing trauma (which knowing this show will no doubt be a lot) to the point of becoming self-destructive and somewhat isolated from her inner circle, potentially even Vaggie to avoid weighing them down with her burdens (which would be ironic since it would be similar to how Vaggie hid her past as an Exorcist out of guilt and fear of her girlfriends rejection). Taking a level in badass in exchange for a drawn-out mental break down.

As for Charlie's influence on Alastor, Charlie's compassion is already rubbing off on him enough for the Overlord to risk his life fighting Adam and the Exorcists for them, something that he found so out of character that he had a villainous breakdown over this realization. While resistant to this growth of character at first in the name of preserving his dreaded reputation, Alastor will slowly becoming less withdrawn and more willing to engage with the crew even when doing so doesn't help his goals, even becoming less antagonistic towards Husk and Lucifer who in turn will actually enjoy his company to a degree. He will remain a ruthless bastard committed to his personal goals, and likely won't be redeeming himself anytime soon, but he'll still become a member of the family all the same. Whether this will resolve his existential crisis or drive him even more mad I can't say right now.

Good to hear from you again,

I been meaning to respond quicker but apparently I'm not allowed to sit and think for more then three minutes at a time. :( So my thoughts/ respond may seem disjointed as I was writing small bit at a time.

To be honestly, I haven't really consider Alastor influence on Charlie beside the standard of nudging her in the direction towards his own agenda. You are correct, now that it's pointed to me. He would have a great influence on her beyond the manipulation. TBH his manipulation might not as nefarious as we think (I still think it because of his contractor) but it can be just that he made to guide her to reach her full potential and power. Which would still align with his own goals with breaking his deal of his soul.

We already see Charlie being influence and episode 7 after they made their deal and Alastor told her about the power of a smile. She took that advice. When Vaggie was made aware of the deal, and Alastor suggestion of meeting his friend to gain numbers she agreed with "What was that about smiling?"

Charlie will become much more willing to use her abilities in defense of the Hotel and her loved ones, potentially developing something of a ruthless streak as the threats to the Hotel continue to pile up.

I wonder why she so hesitate to use her powers in the first place. Like, would she even need Alastor if she simply just use it to begin with? To fix her own hotel? There must be a reason for it. Its either, she cant control it as she doesnt practice it, or it effects her morals/personality, or just the general fear of innocents being caught in the crossfire. It could be all three. But her powers probably tie in more to option two as we only see her demonic powers come out when she upset/annoyed/angry.

Maybe why she so chipper is because as child she more likely threw a tantrum or possible from her teenage ansty emo phase lol...I hope because of her emo phase because emo goth Charlie is entertaining...and hurt so many people from it when her powers manifested in anger and lost control. After that, she swore to herself to always be chipper. So in a way she always used a smile as a mask. But after Alastor, she learn that she can do a lot more with a smile. If this is a backstory that happen, I can see her following Alastor guidance much more easily as she start to see that they may be similar in some ways.

Charlie will definitely become more confident with her powers in season two after the battle. We saw her stop Adam punch. We know she blames herself for everything. Sir Pentious death, Alastor being wounded when it comes to light, Dazzle death, Vaggie taking a bit of a beating from Lute to protect Charlie. She is stronger then all of them, but here they are or harmed as they attempt to protect her. She may take this as a lesson to just just suck up any reservation about using her power to prevent more of her friends from getting hurt when she could have easily stopped it before. I wouldn't say she become ruthless, or at least consciously. Alastor ruthless and wants to be. Charlie "ruthless" is she momentarily lost herself, overwhelmed by the influence of her power.

Charlie seeking Alastor mentorship over guidance from her father would be possibly Alstor has a great sense of self control and discipline then Lucifer. Lucifer would also be too gentle that it be too dismantling. Lucifer training is, swim wings, training wheels, or end up doing things for her to save her the trouble, while Alastor would be blunt and throw Charlie in headfirst to learn. You know Alastor the type that throws a kid in to learn to swim or push someone off a cliff to learn to fly. Everyone in the hotel, when giving advice or bring up issues, tip toes around charlie feelings about thing. Alastor doesn't. Alastor doesn't factor feelings into decisions. He does, calculate how people would react because of feelings, but the issues themselves he does factor them in. Which may be another reason why she would seek his advice.

I also imagine she will start using his philosophy about using smiles to project power and confidence to hide her personal pain and growing trauma (which knowing this show will no doubt be a lot) to the point of becoming self-destructive and somewhat isolated from her inner circle, potentially even Vaggie to avoid weighing them down with her burdens (which would be ironic since it would be similar to how Vaggie hid her past as an Exorcist out of guilt and fear of her girlfriends rejection).

There be definitely be something she'll hide from Vaggie, I just don't know what. Lack of ideas currently, I'll go with keeping Alastor injury a secret or he used their deal for something but has to keep quiet. Or Charlie undergoing demonic power training under Alastor guidance-which Vaggie would hate so much. Vaggie is super suspicious and frustrated by this. Vaggie feels like she failing Charlie somehow, but forcing herself to trust and give Charlie her space while trying to support her while keeping her in the dark.

As for Charlie's influence on Alastor, Charlie's compassion is already rubbing off on him enough for the Overlord to risk his life fighting Adam and the Exorcists for them, something that he found so out of character that he had a villainous breakdown over this realization. While resistant to this growth of character at first in the name of preserving his dreaded reputation, Alastor will slowly becoming less withdrawn and more willing to engage with the crew even when doing so doesn't help his goals, even becoming less antagonistic towards Husk and Lucifer who in turn will actually enjoy his company to a degree. He will remain a ruthless bastard committed to his personal goals, and likely won't be redeeming himself anytime soon, but he'll still become a member of the family all the same. Whether this will resolve his existential crisis or drive him even more mad I can't say right now.

I am so looking forward to whatever direction the creator will take Alastor. But I am hoping and looking forward of Alastor growing and eventually accepting the soft spot he has for the hotel and its people.

There's something I been thinking about a lot, it was the night before the battle when we witness Alastor and Niffty share a moment.

That was the real Alastor and his thoughts and feelings. His facade was dropped there. Think about it, With Rosie, we saw him relax and generally be happy. But he still had to put up a front, and a mask. He has to act like the overlord that he is. He had to be confident to ensure everything moves forwards as plan. So, as much as he less acting when he around Rosie, he still has halls and acting in some parts. But why would he need to put up a mask there with Niffty? He not going to confine to Niffty of all his plans and agenda, But he also didn't need to put up as much of an appearance in a near private, quiet moment, alone with Niffty, . What he spoke there was 100% honestly. He admitted he enjoying his time there and and like the idea of continuing it.

The other real moment he had was his break down. Grappling with the idea he nearly died. Even as mortals we know we can die any given moment, yet act invincible despite the facts. Now imagine, being immortal soul and a powerful one with near complete control....Dieing seem so improbable yet...here Alastor, freaking out that that near improbable thing nearly became true. Now on top of that, greatly injured and cane broke in two which will have consequences. All because of...he grew to care and want to protect the hotel (outside of a possible forced to by contract)

Alastor will slowly becoming less withdrawn

I think he will be more withdrawn and reclusive...at first anyways. He will want to hide his wound but also distance himself from developing more feelings for the hotel that nearly gave his life for. He be more cruel and ruthless to make up for growing soft, gain distance from the hotel as well make the radio demon feared again, especially if the video gets leaked. He going to be alone. Not willing or wanting anyone in.

The last 10minutes showed the little factions.

The vees.

Charlie and co/hotel including her father

Emily/Sera/Sir Pentious (Tho I think there be tension between Sera and Emily)

Lute and Lilith

Alastor was alone. (break down) But align himself with the hotel but hes not with the hotel. Its like when a group of adventures pick up someone because they are heading in the same direction. They will provide aid to each other but their missions are different. Alastor going to provide aid to the Hotel but he going to be too seclutive to appear that he needs any himself. Nor will he show or admit it unless he absolutely force too.

The thing is, being alone will end poorly for him. Just like how the battle went. The hotel fought together and more or less, made it out. Alastor fought alone with his pride and ego and he lost. lost badly.

So Alastor will be alone until he backed into a corner and just about to lose badly once more but Charlie and co will come to his aid. Quite possibly when he thought he possible burnt that bridge from something or betrayal that happen a little earlier.

That's when he accepts them that's beyond territorial and contract obligations. They saw him at his weaken and vulnerable and not took advantage of it. Despite everything. He'll finally learn to accept them because they already proven time and time again that they accepted and care for him. His walls will slowly start chipping away. Unfortunately he still hiding things so he can't full embrace the idea...but it a start.

He still going to be the Radio demon, generally being a prick and Alastor hiding behind a mask, but we get to witness Alastor slipping it off occasionally.

What would be fun is the idea of Charlie rubbing of Alastor, is that perhaps Alastor against his instincts and to his surprise....showed compassion. It be to Vox of all people. Shocking them both. Vox ending whatever Vees had plan that surely would not bode well for the hotel because of it. That Vox and Alastor end up having a truce and possible rekindle their old friendship.

Tho, I be laughing if Alastor showed compassion for once because Charlie got in his head, only for it to backfire terribly. Then Alastor grumbling that he was a fool to show mercy.

*Alastor limping away after killing the sinner who took advantage of Alastor showing mercy for once while clutching a gaping hole in chest. "It's important to show compassion she said," Alastor scoffs before poorly imitating Charlies voice. "It doesn't hurt to show some kindness!" Alastor laughs mirthlessly and winces from the sharp pain it caused. "Well, tell that to the gaping hole in my chest!!!!"

But in the case, Charlie did need to train her demonic power, I can see how Charlie end up influencing Alastor while he trying to mentor her. Not just the growing fondness hell have for her as his protege. But they probably end up having topics of discussions that arises as she trains. Alastor obviously mocks her point of views, but her words will sink into mind unconsciously. And those words will whisper at him, showing their disapproval at what depravity he trying to act out. Frustrating him that she getting to him

HE may even not go through the acts, not wanting to disappointed Charlie if she was to find out.

Or surprisingly more, maybe after training, Charlie able to control her powers outside of anger. We only see her demonic powers when shes mad. But Alastor witness, Charlie is noticeably stronger when she fighting for something she loves and care for. Which may leave a door open to a path for Alastor to consider to follow.

[fiestylittlebeetle]

I have musings about how Malware's recovery goes in GC but it's got allot of complex feelings and concepts involved, and although i think the sheer dumbassery of canon would allow it on some level, I know some people might look at this and be like "bro you're literally stupid"

like everything I'm writing for this comes with a asterix that leads to a foot note that says "malware is not forgiven"

more under the cut for your judgement

god how to put this

Ben does not forgive malware for hurting him, or doing anything he did. In fact he doesn't really like malware at all. but as an adult and fighting him in a weakened form. fighting him him felt unfulfilling and kind of pathetic.

he kinda felt like he just beat up someone who could barely defend himself because they dont like eachother. it kinda made him feel like a jerk even if he hates malware

like in AF he straight up took satisfaction in Vilgax needing to ask him for help and even got him a petty little kids meal. so ben is not above helping his enemy even if he acts petty about it

I dont think ben really hates anyone that deeply that he would look at them suffering and go "you should suffer more" thats just not who he is

GC Malware's comeback is messy, and he's not really completely the same malware that Ben took down by force before because he's weak and exhausted and angry but the anger he has is like, trying to use a pilot light to boil a pot of water

After their initial fight Ben does toss Malware in the plumbers holding cells for a while. and Malware does maybe consider trying to escape, but read above as to why he doesn't bother. he just lays in their and hopes either something happens allowing him to get out, or he passes out and doesn't have to think about it.

Ben comes back for him after the last post i made about him meeting Malware 23, and considers "What if I help him this time. Azmuth isn't going to do it, and I couldn't do anything when I was 10 or 17. But maybe I could do something for him now" and he's had a good long think about it. what could Help Malware.

and ya'll are gonna treat me like im insane here but, hear me out

he hasn't told his mom about the Feedback incident, or really brought up Malware at all, so she doesn't know shit. and what Malware lacks is people who care about him, but especially familial people who care about him.

so he's plan is to see if his parents will let him let malware crash their. the stipulation for malware being if he does ANYTHING to his parents, ANYTHING sinister, Ben will rain hell down upon him like he's never known before.

Malware considers this and maybe even asks why ben is doing this

bens response can be summarized "cause im a better person then you, and even after it all, even after you HURT ME, I'm going to help you, and you're going to feel better, and you're going to feel guilty about it even when life gets better, and that seems like a reasonable punishment"

Malware doesn't really have much of choice here btw. He is being forced into this situation weather or not he likes it. and you may go "well you cant FORCE someone to recover" and you're right

but malware isn't gonna put up much of a fight cause he knows his limits (right now)

Sandra is open to the idea of letting malware stay in their guest room for a while, Carl is dubious but agrees cause he sees his son doing something kind. Malware is disgruntled, awkward, and uncomfortable (also Ben lies through his teeth about malware being a "friend" to his parents. like actually through actual clenched teeth)

for a while Malware stays holed up in the room, mostly sleeping or considering his deflated anger.

Sandra tries (and succeeds at some point) to get him to come out and be social. Her and Carl maybe even learn a little about him too, mostly just a vague idea of him being abandoned, and not liking other people very much.

i havn't gotten much further into the details, but I think Sandra would at least be the one who, after interacting with Malware a couple times, realizes he's very depressing. And it makes her sad that he seems so allergic to connecting with people. to her, as a mother, he comes off as a kid who hasn't been shown enough love and attention, and she is actually kinda correct.

details aside i had this idea of Sandra and Carl coming back to the house after being out for a day and finding Malware collapsed on the stairs (a spontaneous system shut down)

and they pull him to the closest floor and have him laid out completely, and Sandra has his head in her lap petting him while Carl is on the phone with the plumbers trying to see what kind of help he should get (they're being difficult and Carl already dislikes them so hes having a bad time TM)

anyway Mal eventually starts coming to and upon opening his optic and seeing sandra, and she's like "Oh you're awake!" and realizing what's happening he immediately sits up, almost knocking sandra back, telling her not to touch him, and feeling humiliated.

He's humiliated, but he's also feeling something, anger? no something else, satisfaction? no no something ELSE

ah yes

appreciation

And before someone asks "couldn't he just run away when no one's there" the answer is yes BUT he has no where else to go and he's not really in any condition to be defending himself against other people/aliens who will most likely have powers or weapons to use against him. Sticking around is the best bet rn

Now, you could bring up Khyber here but at this point Khyber had already been tried (basically Khyber was the first person malware found when he woke up. But remember that fight with Mal and Ben I mentioned? Khyber was also there but realized Mal kinda sucks and is useless now and so ditches him to save his own ass. Don't worry. Khyber will be back later when he's got more resources. But it's cause he knows malware is weak, and also one of a kind rare Mechamorph that's perfect for his trophie shelf.)

[wonderstruks]

I Hate You Eddie Munson

EDDIE MUNSON X FEM! READER

WARNINGS: CURSING, MENTIONS OF HOOKING UP, MINOR VIOLENCE

SUMMARY: The reader is sure she hates Eddie Munson but when he drunkenly comes to her house her feelings start to shift.

•I DO NOT GIVE ANY PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BY COPIED ONTO OTHER SITES

Eddie Munson.

I feel sorry for any girl who dates him.

Eddie has earned himself a reputation as the freak Satanist at school and the no – good player bad boy at the trailer park.

Every night I watched people come and go from his trailer as they pleased, all hours of the night.

It disgusted me, it irritated me, and honestly, it pissed me off.

Believe it or not, me and Eddie used to be friends.

The best of friends actually, but one day he decided it wasn't worth it, and he decided to throw it all away.

It hurt for a while, dealing with the pain of losing my best friend, and it didn't help we were practically neighbors.

Only three houses down from me was the one person I wanted the most, but he didn't care for me.

He replaced our friendship with drugs and any pussy he could manage to score.

After everything I decided not to let Eddie destroy me, I picked up all the broken pieces and built myself back up again.

Losing Eddie made me see myself in a new light.

The girl I was wasn't who I wanted to be, I had to make a change, so I became the girl I only dreamed of being.

I traded my books for pom poms and my pants for skirts.

I became everything Eddie hated. But for me, I felt like I finally belonged somewhere.

Being a cheerleader I finally felted noticed, I felt like I found who I was meant to be.

Cheer also led me to Chrissy.

My new best friend.

She was like an angel in my darkest hours . She helped me find myself and watched me shine.

“You coming to Jason's Halloween party?” Chrissy asked as I shut my locker.

“Cant.”

“What, why!” She whined.

I laughed at her.

“Yeah I totally want to watch Jason and the rest of the basketball team get wasted and make stupid fart jokes.”

“Exactly! That's why I need you there to make it a little enjoyable.”

I rolled my eyes.

“You know you don't have to spend every second with him, right? You can stay home and pass out candy to trick or treaters.”

“But he's my boyfriend, even if his fart jokes are dumb I still love him and want to hang with him.”

“Youre a good girlfriend Chrissy, but I'm still not going.”

She groaned and stomped her foot.

“Fine but you owe me lunch then.”

I smiled.

“If that's what it takes for you to drop it, sure.”

She grabbed my hand and brought me to the cafeteria.

We sat in our usual seats, not to interrupt Jason as he was already on one of his heartfelt speeches.

It was strange to watch all the jocks hung to his every word, it almost reminded me of Eddie.

Both boys would go on these tirades, and each time people were glued to their every word.

Soon, Jason's speech was interrupted as he made eye contact with someone across the room.

“Freaks like him shouldn't be allowed in this school.”

I looked over to see what Jason was talking about.

It was the man himself, Eddie.

“We don't need filth like him here, I wonder how you were even friends with him (y/n).”

All eyes at the table turned to me.

No one asked me about Eddie besides Chrissy.

I was at a lost for words, but I knew i couldn't say nothing, not with all these judging eyes.

“I don't know, but I'm glad I opened my eyes and saw what a freak he is.”

My comment made Jason smile, almost like he approved of it.

Although it made the table happy I felt immense guilt from my words.

I hated Eddie for what he did.

He disgusts me and makes me angry.

But why did it hurt to talk about bad him?

I stayed quiet for the rest of lunch, wondering why I felt a pain in my heart talking bad about the boy I hated the most.

________

“Happy Halloween.”

I said, closing my trailer door after giving some kids some candy.

I sent the bowl by the door and went back to the living room, basically throwing myself back on the couch and kicked my feet up on the coffee table.

It felt good to finally have a night to myself. No cheer practice, no parents, and no homework.

I finally got to relax and be as lazy as I wanted.

A random black and white horror film was on the TV, and I watched it as I snacked on some popcorn.

It was so peaceful.

But that peace was finally interrupted as the doorbell went off.

More trick or treaters, I thought.

I got up with a smile on my face, ready to greet some cutely dressed up kids.

I opened the door, but my smile fell.

“Hey (y/n).”

Eddie Munson.

I shut the door in his face, but that didn't stop him from knocking.

“(Y/n) please!” I heard him muffle from the door.

What could he possibly want?

In anger I opened the door to tell him off, but one look in his eyes and every nasty word I intended to say disappeared.

"(Y/n)!” He smiled.

“What.” I spat angrily.

He didn't say a word, he just pushed past me.

“Excuse me, you can't just barge into my house!

He laughed.

That's when I noticed his balance was off.

He was fucking drunk.

“Eddie Munson get out of my house!” I yelled.

He still ignored me and sat himself on my couch.

“Oh I love this movie.”

I stormed over to him.

“Get out.”

He finally looked up at me with a massive grin.

“Come here (y/n).” He patted a spot beside him.

“If I do, will you leave?”

“Sure.”

I sat down as far as possible from him.

“There now leave.”

“Not so fast (y/n) i gotta tell you something.”

“I don't want to hear it Munson you're drunk.”

“Maybe but I only have the courage to talk to you like this.”

My eyes softened at him.

He was scared to talk to me.

"I wanted to apologize. Sorry for leaving you as a friend. You were my favorite and I fucked up.”

I clenched my fists. He didn't get to do this, not now, not like this.

“Eddie stop.”

“I want your forgiveness (y/n), i didn't want to hurt you, but i just couldn't be your friend.”

“Youre not getting it. Leave Eddie please.”

In his drunken state, he ignored every word I said.

He wobbly scooted himself closer to me.

“I tried to find other outlets, but my mind always came back to you and when I realized my fuck-up you already moved on, although that hurt I did like seeing you in that little short skirt.”

I pushed myself further from him.

“I went to all those loser basketball games and I watched you. And god did you look good, but seeing you after with all those jocks made me realize I was always right, you deserved better than me, trailer trash Munson.”

My heart dropped, did he really think that about himself?

“Seeing you so happy made me also realize how much I missed you, which is why I came here to say sorry.”

I shook my head.

“No, you don't get to come here drunk and say you miss me. You hurt me Eddie, you left me with no reason and me hate myself. This whole time I thought it was me. I hate you Eddie I want you to leave, i don't want your sorries.”

I stood up and Eddie followed, I went to open the door and push him out, but he turned and pinned me against the wall.

“You know why I stopped being your friend, it because I was scared, I mean, look at you. I couldn't tell you I wanted you more as a friend, I couldn't tell you I loved you.”

My entire world stopped.

Eddie love me?

He hurt me because he loved me?

“No Munson, I'm not doing this. You are nothing but a pig, I will not be one of your hookups, I fucking hate you.”

I rustled around trying to break out of his grap.

“Youre not a hook-up you're the only girl I've ever loved.”

He placed his lips on mine, pulling me into a kiss.

Out of shock and anger I slapped him.

He immediately stooped and his eyes widened.

“Im sorry.” He quietly said.

He let go and stumbled back to the couch.

His head in his hands.

I was shocked.

How do I even process this?

How can I forgive him for what he did?

Most importantly, why did I feel sorry for him?

Why was I angry at the words I said?

I had every right to be mad to be angry, I had every right to hate him, but even when I used those words i didn't mean it.

The truth was Eddie hurt me and I thought I got over it, but i really just shoved it down.

Despite my nasty words, hearing him say he went to my games made my heart tighten, and to hear him say he loved me sent me over the moon.

After everything, he still cared.

The bastard still fucking cared.

Fuck it.

With a sigh, I made up my mind.

I walked back over to the couch and sat beside the sulking boy.

“I'm sorry.”

I received no reply.

I waved my hand in front of his face, only to realize he drunkenly passed out.

Shaking my head, I grabbed the blanket that was sitting on the arm of the chair and draped it around him.

“Goodnight Eddie.” I said before going to my room for the night.

________

The next morning, i didn't want to face Eddie.

Everything felt even more weird somehow, but I knew I had to talk to him.

When I left my bedroom I noticed Eddie was gone.

Part of me wished he stayed.

He must have left early sometime in the morning.

I sighed before getting dressed and making my way three trailers down.

Four knocks and the door opened.

“Hey.” A nervous boy answered.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

He moved out of the way, letting me in.

“Look last night I'm so sorry I was drunk and-.”

I cut him off.

“I hate you, Eddie munson."

The boy's eyes saddened but it was almost like he expected this.

“I hate what you did to me, I hate that you bring sluts here, I hate that you annoy me, I hate the way i don't hate youin fact, I hate that even stupidly drunk you made me miss you, made me forgive you, and I absolutely fucking hate the way I love you too.”

I look in his eyes to find his brown pools staring deep in mine.

I've thought I've changed, but one look in those doe eyes I realized I could never give up Eddie.

No matter how he hurts me, how far he pushes me, he will always be a drug that I will always crave.

Eddie replaced me, but I replaced him too.

I thought I belonged where I was, but I was wrong, dead wrong.

I belonged right here with Eddie.

“I hate you, Eddie Munson.”

“I love you too (y/n).”

He smiled and so did I.

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a passionate kiss, which was greeted and returned lovingly.

[babiebom]

Abigail Headcanons

I had wrote some of these for my old blog but forgot to save them so i forgot what i wrote and now I have to start over haha

Tw: cursing, brief sexual mention, cheating(not abby), some canon info may be wrong lmao

Is between 5'4-5'8

Mostly because she does give off tall goth mommy vibes but also gives off short angry troll vibes(I'm 4'11 I'm allowed to say this)

I think she's like 22-24

It's stayed at some point that she takes online college classes right? Or am i insane?

I do 100% think she's the wizards daughter I mean it does line up and if she's not then wtf

It's more than just the hair

But even then like isn't it said that she only dyed it ONCE and the color just never went away?

Like I feel like its one of those things where she had to activate the trait for it to show up

Like Idk if you've seen Barbie in a (and a?) Mermaid Tale but like

Barbie(her name isn't barbie but i cant remember what it is) doesn't show any mermaid traits at all until shes a certain age then she does things to trigger it(like going in the water and being able to breathe or her hair turning pink.)

Or traits that have been there already now making sense(her being obsessed with the water and surfing)

For Abigail, she just needed to dye her hair that specific color in order for it to stay in that state

And she has other abilities like being able to see the Junimos when literally no one else but the farmer and the wizard can.

And her love of adventure and the unknown

And i think she is a witchy girl along with Emily

Also the fact that Caroline hung out near the wizards tower then got pregnant with Abby

I think she still hangs out there sometimes or maybe its a mod or maybe I'm delusional(this one is a fact)

N e ways i've gone on too long about this

I think she would study for something like archaeology or something or like game development.

Does play video games as much as she can

Does rage quit

Gets angry when she dies

Though its canon that Abby and Seb would end up together if not with the farmer(I think?)

Highkey a toxic gamer but her outbursts are funny so it's allowed

I think she likes games like Undertale, the Sonic games, Mario, hates Valorant with a passion but still plays even though it only makes her angry

I feel like her feelings for him are shallow

Not in a bad way

But in a theres no one else for me to realistically end up with or crush on type thing

Like unless she's going to date one of the girls(I think Pierre is homophobic) Seb is her only choice

I do sorta ship her with Haley tho (goth gf x pink gf)

Does wish to be in the adventurers guilde but i also think she would be terrified

Also realistically I feel like she knows it wouldn't work out for long. Though she does sometimes go in the upper(lower?) levels of the mines.

100 percent prefers her mom to her dad

I think if she ever found out about the wizard possibly being her father it would make her be the most torn she has ever been

Because on one hand she does love pierre hes the man that raised her and I dont think she would accept cheating AT ALL and it would hurt her to know hes not her biological father

But on the other hand she would find it cool that theres a reason for her weirdness

Like theres a reason she can see the weird creatures in the forest when no one else can(to her knowledge)

Theres a reason for her longing to venture out and explore the unknown

And the wizard is pretty freaking cool seeing as she hangs out next to his tower often

Either showers everyday or once every 3 days there's no in between

Probably does want to travel at some point, maybe when she has her own money to spend.

If pierre wanted her to take over his store when he gets too old she would refuse

Is sorta sad she doesn't have any siblings, but at the same is glad because she only has to worry about herself

Learned to play the drums as a way to let out her anger

Has an okay voice when singing, but doesn't know how to properly hit notes without fucking up her voice

[mako-neexu]

im still overwhlemed but again, netsuyumi's obeguda today is amazing.

to drink poison just like that? seriously, your heart will never go back to the way it was anymore. it is said to be a lethal dose that can kill you on the spot too? isnt your heart too transparent? its a good thing oberon came in time and saved guda before the man administered sleeping pills to guda's drink next so he can sell guda to the black market...

i think this is my first time seeing a comic where the extreme poison immunity of guda is addressed. "a woman who is foreign immortal would fetch a fine price"... i love it when i read it. not only is it just poison, but alcohol as well... the said details made me scream. wait i just noticed now but theres three cups!?!?!? did you give guda THREE cups of extremely lethal poison? www this guy ww eugh my heart cant take it!! i love the detail of the man getting scared of guda, naturally. but going back i like this guy's thinking. crushing the nerves in guda's hand, cutting guda's throat so as not to leak info after administering sleeping pills in the next drink... only then he sells her to the black market for a high price...

ahh oberon saving her just at the right time is amazing but ugh guda heart transparent moment was the best. you worried over the one who poisoned you first? guda didn't even care if it was poisoned or the alcohol was something else... she simply had the hunch about the man she was conversing with. and the look in guda's face drives me insannnneeeeeeeeeeeeee

the heart is transparent at its finest <3 although there is no evidence of poison in the drink/s, if she refused to drink she might not have gotten information at all. if she did drink it (if it is a poison that would instantly kill), the man would loosen his lips on the info guda needed... because there was no other. choice.

"If it ever happens again, I'm sure I'll make the same choice again. As much as possible, singularities should be resolved early because its preferable. I don't think its wrong if I act for that matter."

also yumi's end notes for that is being: if the singularity is resolved quickly, if it will only endanger guda and not anyone else... that is guda's reasoning....

THEN OBERON'S FAIRY EYES MOMENT GODDDDDDDDDDDD "i know why oberon is angry" "sorry. it was thoughtless of me to do that"

what are you doing!!!! youre making me fear for you gudaaaaa!!! OBERON'S POV THOUGH!! AGHHGGH!!! AGH! "sorry if thats how you see it." "no matter what i will say,your way of thinking will not change. because your circumstances wont allow you to" WONT!!!!!!!!! ALLOW!!! YOU TOO!!!!!!!!

the omakes made me laugh though wwwwwwww the guy now tied up went from "oi, ill bribe you with money! side with me and catch that woman and sell her to the black market!" to ("ah this insect looking guy likes her so-") "along with the money, you keep the woman, wdyt?" to also eventually having thoughts of "on top of this woman having a strong heart, she has a pretty face...maybe ill make her mine." and oberon progressively just wanted to kill him then and there its so funny wwwwwwwwwwwwww

[antiradqueerguy]

will try and keep this as brief as possible,

but, as someone who used to be VERY close with ciel and his girlfriend and was there a couple months back when something happened between them (a more major event, there'd been smaller events i'd witnessed but this was a bigger one i'd prefer to keep private for well, to respect their privacy lol) and i mainly hung out with his girlfriend after that event, cause i basically hated him, but she's genuinely unwell without him, i cant go into much detail there either, but basically, you are allowed to feel concern (this does not mean pitying or condemning either party), i mean its not a "typical" dynamic, i've 100% felt that concern (minus the pitying (there was a little condemning ill admit)), but even when i did, my first response when that event happened was "will you be alright", at the time i didnt really know what to do when she said she would be fine, but i trusted her and helped her look further into things, and after a bit (like literally 2 days iirc), she basically vanished (she came back 1 day to hand me ownership of a couple servers and give me a little insight of where she'd been and get updates on what had happened while she was gone, and then deleted her account) (i AGAINNN CANT GO FURTHER INTO THIS), but basically i no longer have contact with either of them (unsure if i'd wish to since that's scary (FOR MY OWN REASONS)) but, unless there were truly something you could do for either of them (there isn't) i think they should be left alone, i mean if this were any "typical" abusive relationship has it ever helped to do things like this?

basically; if the 500 people dming samson have gotten nowhere and this whole situation has served to make HER as the "victim" feel upset, what good are you truly doing, condemning and playing hero in a relationship that has nothing to do with anyone but the two of them, i've seen more than all of the people commenting on this and i can wholeheartedly say now (past me would look at me, mouth agape) that this is the best course for the both of them, ciel used to be alot worse, while that may not mean anything to you guys, this situation could be alot worse than you're making it out to be, especially when both parties have said time and time again that they're okay, with that in mind, what are you all hoping to accomplish with this?

(this is a genuine question and a bit of insight from someone who'd gotten to know the two of them)

howdy doo,

So to answer your question, "what are you all hoping to accomplish with this?"

kind of nothing? i mean your view on the situation is very very very different than mine, and It's always good to have context, I'm not trying to play hero, I'm not a keyboard warrior or something, I'm just some dude on the internet pointing out something which in my own personal opinion and biased knowledge it is something that i view as wrong,

I will not be able to change samson or ciel, and I have no motivation to do so, even when both party's say they are okay and happy, there will still be outside conflict, between maybe some angry mother in law, or some asshole on the internet, or the literal police,

what i have viewed from my outsider monocle and what has been posted publicly and what i have heard from anons, i view as negative,

[lordmushroomkat]

hi sorry to place a mild rant here i just cant do journaling to myself. So i got diagnosed with pcos and i just got birth control to take. And i dont know how to feel about it. Im genderqueer but not ready to come out and like E was the only option they gave me and since im a teen i didnt know, still dont know, how, if, when i can tell these people that i dont think this is what i want. Im writing this right before im supposed to take my first pill and im scared. Scared i will hate it and will have to live with that because i just cant come out. But im also scared it will make me feel better. Do as my mom says and make me less tired, less cranky. Im scared that when she says that she is doing this because its the best for my health, that she is scientfically right. And my dr even mentioned how i didnt seem to care about anything they were talkin about (pills-side effects, “benefits”) but like after the fact i realized that i could have said that i didnt care because all that she wasnt going to improve my life in any fucking meaningful way. Like body hair? Love it. Or well i would like to remove some not all of it, and not feel like in removing like stomach hair that i was agreeing that i was a women or that hair is disgusting. Because i would remove hair for myself ya know. Not for the preconcieved idea of who i am and how i should look. And acne? If i cared id actually put my acne cream on. Fertility? Dont want children, and they talked about unwanted random fertility but im ace and sex repulsed. Beyond the first visit they didnt even mention cancer. Ive been telling myself im going to take these pills to prevent cancer in uterine lining. And im scared to look up how true thag is. I mean on how e decreases these helath risks. Im scared theyre right. Im scared their wrong. I will fucking riot if they are lying because that means this is for nothing. Im scared it wont give me gender dysphoria, scared i will have dysphoria because it wull peel layers off the dissasosiation i face. and before all this i was planning on making my mom a presentation about intersex people and gender. Because shes supportive just a littl confused and not radical, im radical because grief has made me angry and i want to let her in on it ig. But i dont think i can do that anymore. Because i would have pointed myself out as intersex. Imply she could be too if she liked the label. But im scared that her being cis, and having struggled with weight and eating when she was a teen (and that pcos effects weight) would mean she would hate the idea. Would call me wrong or cite drs. She told me to shave under my arms once, for the convience when traveling light on vacation so that deodorant worked better?? And hours after she said it i realized if i existed for ease i would crase to exist. But im worried whats a good ease for her would be a killer for me. Idk anymore. i guess any advice? But that will probably be to come out and i dont think i can do that. any research or resources that proves im allowed to be angry? I think im just looking for people to tell me im normal for feeling this way. Having a bad day. Thanks for any.. help? Hope this wasnt triggering or anything, i just saw that you were nonbinary with pcos too- and yea. Okay bye

I really don't know if I'm the right person to answer this. I was already out as non-binary for years before I got my PCOS diagnosis. When they said "take these pills" I asked about the other options and they gave me none so I simply refused to take the pills. But I'm like,,, I don't super care about the negative affects of PCOS. I'm casually suicidal all the time and I'll keep living for my family but if something kills me I'm pretty alright with it. I don't really expect to live much longer than like, a handful of decades and like honestly the world is on fire so it'll probably be shorter. So like, my perspective on this is not necessarily a super healthy one? I'm fairly apathetic about my own existence.

But like, I understand your struggle here with wanting to explain the PCOS=intersex connection to your mom but knowing she'll respond poorly because she also has PCOS.

I really don't have any solid advice here. Just... I guess, consider really carefully how you want to feel in your body. If you've been enjoying the superficial changes the PCOS has done to your body with this weird little second puberty, maybe you should consider advocating for yourself a little more firmly about it. Your future health is important but so is your current comfort in your body.

[idiotthatdrawsakaartist]

I'm going to gush about Pocket mirror and u cant stop me lmao also SPOILERS, you have been warned.

I just took a look in the gallery section of the game and Lissette's moment with Goldia made me so fucking happy. without going into detail cuz if I did we would be here all day, Pocket mirror is about a girl with DID formerly known as multiple personality disorder, And her trying to find herself in her own mind after waking up in a rose bed with no memories, just herself and a golden pocket mirror.

its throughout the game that you meet Goldia's Alters: Fleta ( the little), Harpae ( the protector ) Lissette (the trauma holder/ persecutor) and Enjel ( I cant tell what she is really since I'm only now starting to learn more about DID, so her temporary title will be trauma holder since i have no other title for her and that one is close enough for now. If you know more about DID or if there is a system that knows how to tittle her purpose please let me know! also let me know if im saying anything problematic! obviously Systems will be prioritized bc duh.

Goldia is the current host, I have an inkling she might fuse with ether Enjel or Harpae in the future but that's not the point.

Basically Lissette is the scape goat for all the other Alters ( Goldia included), Lissette is blamed for every wrong doing, mainly because she is the most aggressive and self destructive of the bunch. being a Trauma holder and all. So everyone else uses her as a get out of jail free card whenever they do something bad ( mainly Fleta). and during the events of the game Lissette is trying to kill Goldia because she just cant take this abuse anymore. if you get her good ending, Goldia will apologize to Lissette and tell her

"I will atone for my sins, all of them"

and in the gallery segment where you get to have a final conversation with all the Alters, Lissette tells Goldia : "I still resent you, But... you're keeping your word... on wanting to.... know me.." . To which Goldia apologizes again and thanks her, and while its not explicitly said you can infure she means : " thank you for the second chance". I wont go into detail bc personal thingssss, but i can understand how Lissette feels here. throughout this conversation the resentment she feels is weighing down on her and she 's allowed to feel this, not once does the game tell her that she should just let go. It's not as easy as that. And Goldia fully understands and just elects to be as good of a friend as she can be. I LOVE THE FACT THAT SHE IS ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY GOOD LORD

I'm so sick of people talking about Anger and negativity like it's some sort of disease. Anger is just as valid of an emotion as fear or joy, and the fact that she's allowed to feel this without being vilified is great and kind of sad since not allot of other characters get the same level of maturity in their writing.

you can just feel how empty she feels after being denied catharsis for so long, and now that she has it, she can finally just take a breath and be in peace. Lissette isn't the best character known to mankind but she doesn't need to be, She means allot to me personally and I can only assume she means allot to persecutors who feel unheard. I don't know that for sure and please correct me if I'm wrong, I don't have DID thus I cant speak with absolute certainty

Any who thank ya fa listening to my ramblings :3

[sansaorgana]

the thing about the blacks kids being aemond's main bullies and therefore should always be lowkey portrayed as the bad guys/losers in some fics is kinda conflicting for me cause aegon certainly did join them? I honestly believe that he kinda started it since he's the oldest one, and I think the younger kids thought that it was a cool thing to do. I know I would have that mindset when I was a kid, especially if there was someone older in the circle. Not excusing their behavior ofc, cause I was frustrated that no adults were reprimanding them and told them to apologize. seriously the accident in driftmark would've been easily avoided had they been all disciplined. idk i just cant hate the kids

yeah, of course they were only kids and I'm pretty sure Aegon started it. I mean, Alicent herself knew about it very well.

the difference is, Alicent was actively reacting when Aegon was bullying his brother. she was not only scolding him herself but also going to his father, hoping he would intervene himself. not her fault Viserys wasn't giving shit about it and honestly as a mother what can she do without her husband's support? her words and her scoldings aren't as powerful because there's also Viserys who is ignoring AKA giving a silent permission.

meanwhile, Rhaenyra did not scold her children not even once. when Aemond lost an eye, she was holding her boys and whining they were called bastards like it was the most important thing at the moment. and that is why when they're older in episode 8 they are still immature spoiled brats because they have never faced any consequences of their actions and because they have witnessed Viserys siding with them even when they were the one to injure Aemond.

meanwhile, Aegon is not as bad brother as some people portray him. yes, he was a jerk as a teenager but I think that's how most big brothers are (and he was regularly scolded by his mother). when Aemond says that he heard the word "bastard" from Aegon, Aegon doesn't fight him on that, he isn't even angry, more surprised until he realizes it's a game to protect their mum. then, in episode 8 he's Aemond's side kick during the whole drama with Rhaenyra's children and when Aemond finds him in episode 9, he literally is like "let me go, I'll run away and you'll become the King". he doesn't even tease Aemond for wanting to be a KIng instead, he doesn't say anything awful to make Aemond feel like he is less worthy. I think Aegon cares about his mother and siblings deep down inside.

now, I'm not saying I hate baby Lucerys from episode 7 because it was his parents' fault that he was not scolded and allowed to do anything he wanted. but I dislike Lucerys from episode 8 and 10 because he is still a spoiled, immature kid who still think he hasn't done anything wrong.

[onewomancitadel]

(same anon as before) im glad i opened the floodgates lol! I think another interesting aspect that comes from knightfall + the pair being genre savvy has to do with how rhodes betrayal of cinders trust is kind of reminiscent of pyrrha sending jaune away, because in that scene she also betrays his trust. but unlike with rhodes, pyrrha does it to actually save jaunss life, so as genre awareness goes you have jaune constantly trying to die/get himself killed but not being allowed to (the Hero) vs cinder constantly getting beaten but still surviving everything (the unkillable Dragon), they are literal cockroaches in the context of RWBY as a story because for all their 'insignificance' as characters they literally*cant* be written out

Someone letting me talk about the Haven sequence when I'm fearful that I obsess over it too much is great. Thanks for enabling me, anon.

I really like your perspective here, and I especially like that parallel of Rhodes-Cinder and Pyrrha-Jaune, especially because the way Cinder touches Pyrrha when she kills her is the way Rhodes touches Cinder. There is definitely meant to be some sort of a dark echo there - then you've got the fact that both Rhodes and Pyrrha are the 'fallen' Huntsman/Huntress archetype, the failed idealism, because Rhodes effectively betrayed/condemned Cinder, and well - Pyrrha died. Pyrrha 'failed', even if her tragedy does mean something, the one who survived is Jaune. The guy who sucks.

I'm not sure that Cinder is necessarily constantly beaten - I don't think her plans always necessarily succeed in the way that you think they're meant to, but she's also an inadvertent agent of necessary pain/growth. But even the situation with, say, V7 (and V8), Cinder basically wins. She flees at the end of the fight with Winter and Penny because of Ruby's silver eyes (and - well - Penny's moment of compassion has given her ultimate power). Her failures (and her fleeing) is symbolically meaningful, partly because - well - I think she is meant to transform into a heroine in the story, so really her failure as a villain is her success as a hero (one day, Cinder won't flee Ruby's silver eyes; her failure to secure the Maiden powers except for the Fall Maiden's is her redemption).

That relationship to success with Jaune is... basically mirrored. He's a 'failure' but he's more successful in this story for that reason. I mean, this is the story where from brokenness comes wholeness, a character like Pyrrha (unless she was severely broken at the Fall of Beacon and stopped being a Huntress for most of the story, until near the end) can't survive. (I do think it's more complex than this, because Pyrrha can assert herself on non-Fall Maiden power terms, but for the sake of this post I'll leave it here. People get sensitive about the Pyrrha topic, so I don't want to come off callous).

The idea that their failures are actually their successes is connected. The idea that their enemy is actually their ummm true love is more of that dramatic irony and I adore it.

But to circle back to that genre awareness - say, in the case of Cinder, she's pretty set on the idea that fairytales are bullshit because hers is an ostensibly broken one - and with V9, Jaune knows he couldn't 'even be the make-believe hero', but he can be the real one, the one who he truly is, that can see past the false stakes of the story. It actually makes so much sense, it's completely fucked up and I hate it.

Of course what I really mean is I love it, because it's so good it makes me angry. It perfectly encapsulates the ideas of the story and perfectly explains their characters and their role in the story and perfectly fucking justifies everything. Cinder's 'damning moment' with Pyrrha is actually the seed of redemption because it ties her to Jaune. Jaune is meant to have a Fall Maiden love interest. It's painful and it's beautiful.

Thank you anon, this has been a great back and forth. It's been so interesting to hear your thoughts, and I love that Rhodes-Pyrrha parallel you pointed out.