#she definitely has a popular pinterest account

[l10l0v3]

My Willow Park hcs

She/they trans woman

Does not have freckles naturally but thinks they're really cute so she gives herself them through the power of magic and makeup (sometimes she makes the freckles white or heart shaped to mix it up a bit)

Has a really cute fashion sense and adores long skirts

Very sentimental and have a box of little trinkets from their childhood that they were really sad to lose. One of the first things she did when they all got stuck in the human realm was find a shoe box and start a new one to add to the old when they got home.

Always had problems with low self esteem and a fear of losing friends, that it took them awhile to realize that friends like Gus and Luz will love her unconditionally and will always be there for her.

Pacifist but can and will beat your ass with proper motivation

She and Hunter bonded over shared trauma

Luz made the mistake of introducing Willow to Pinterest and they are LIVING. Their boards are just full of aesthetic images of her living the life (with a bit of Gus's illusion magic to help out). Waking up at dawn to work out, make a smoothie, and drink tea at an aesthetic bookshop type beat.

Perfect balance of nerd and jock

[zot3-flopped]

Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this! When Taylor Swift took the Grammys stage last month to claim her award for Best Pop Vocal Album for Midnights, she saw that spotlight as an opportunity to announce her 11th studio album: The Tortured Poets Department. The follow-up cut to audience members—Swift’s music industry peers, mind you—told us all that we would ever need to know, and the collective disinterest across the crowd echoed through our TVs.

Folks from all walks of life took to social media to express a multitude of reactions. Swifties clamored to their beloved monarch’s forthcoming era, while others lambasted the terminally cringe title and artwork and ridiculed Swift for making a night recognizing musical achievements across an entire industry about herself—knowing perfectly well that it would send her fanbase into a surge that would, no doubt, overpower the excitement around the ceremony itself.

Quite a few people questioned whether or not that moment suggested that a critical—definitely not commercial—tide would turn against the world’s most-famous pop star. And, perhaps it has—but, to most, it will look like nothing more than a single ripple in Swift’s ocean of successes.

Swift remained relatively hush-hush about The Tortured Poets Department up until its release, leaving her fans, admirers and haters alike with nothing but an album title to ponder about. And it’s a bad title.

If you have never been in Swift’s corner, her taking the route of labeling her next “era” as “tortured” was likely catnip for your disinterest. If you are a fan—not necessarily a Swiftie, but even just a casual lover of her best and brightest work—you might be beside yourself about the first Swift album title longer than one word in 14 years.

In terms of popularity—certainly not always in terms of quality—no musician has been bigger this century than Swift, which makes it impossible to really buy into the “torture” of it all.

This is not to say that Swift being the most famous person in the world makes her immune to having multi-dimensional feelings of heartbreak, mental illness or what-have-you.

But, she has made the choice—as a 34-year-old adult—to take those complex, universal familiars and monetize them into a wardrobe she can wear for whatever portion of her Eras Tour setlist she opts to dedicate to the material.

Torture is fashion to Taylor Swift, and she wears her milieu dully. This album will surely get comparisons to Rupi Kaur’s poetry, either for its simplicity, empty language, commodification or all of the above.

And, sure, there are parallels there, especially in how The Tortured Poets Department, too, is going to set the art of poetry back another decade—as Swift’s naive call-to-arms of her own milky-white sorrow rings in like some quintessential “I am going to take pictures of a typewriter on my desk and have a Pinterest mood-board of Courier New font” iPhone fodder. 2013 called and it wants it capricious, suburban girl-who-is-taking-a-gap-year wig back!

Soaking our book reports in coffee or having our moms burn the edges with a kitchen lighter cannot come back into fashion; the cyclical notions of culture cannot make the space for such retreads.

There is nothing poetic about a billionaire—who, mind you, threatens legal action against a Twitter account for tracking her destructive private jet paths—telling stadiums of thousands of people every night that she sees and adores them.

Tavi Gevinson says it well in her Fan Fiction zine: “When 80,000 people are also crying, you become less special, too.” If Swift can return to one of her dozen beach houses across the world, kick up her feet and say “I’m a poet of struggle,” then who is to say that millions—maybe billions—of people with access to a notes app and a social media account won’t dream that dream, too?

Maybe that looks like a net-positive, but it’s inherently damning and destructive to take an art form that has long stood on the shoulders of resistance, of love and of opposition to power, systematic injustice and climate warfare and boil it down to the new defining era of your own 10-digit revenue empire. “My culture is not your costume,” yada, etc.

The Tortured Poets Department does begin with a shred of hope that, just maybe, Swift knows what she’s talking about—as she sneaks in a cheeky “all of this to say,” textbook transitional phrasing for poets, on opening track “Fortnight.”

But “Fortnight” unmasks itself quickly as a heady vat of pop nothingness, though it isn’t all Swift’s fault. “I was a functioning alcoholic, ‘til nobody noticed my new aesthetic,” she muses, attempting to bridge the gap between a behind-the-scenes life and on-stage performance—only for it to occur while propped up against the most dog-water, uninspired synth arrangement you could possibly imagine.

Between producer Jack Antonoff’s atrocious backing instrumental and the Y2K-era, teen dramedy echo chamber of a vocal harmony provided by out-of-place guest performer Post Malone, “Fortnight” chokes on the vomit of its own opaqueness.

“I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary,” Swift muses, and it sounds like satire. This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools.

The Tortured Poets Department title-track features some of Swift’s worst lyricism to-date, including the irredeemable, relentlessly cringe “You smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate, we declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist / I scratch your head, you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever” lines glazed atop some synthesizers and drums that just ring in as hollow, unfascinating costuming.

Aside from the Puth nod, which I can only discern as a joke (given the fact that he is one of the 150-most streamed artists in the world and is one of the blandest pop practitioners alive—I don’t care if he can figure out the pitch of any sound you throw at him), I think Antonoff should stick to guitar-playing. Get that man away from a keyboard, I’m begging you.

Synths can be, if you use them correctly, one of the most emotional and provocative instruments in any musician’s tool-box. There’s a reason why keyboards defined the 1980s; they rebelled against the very oppressive nature existing outside of the cultural company they kept. There’s resistance in electronic music that, while they brandish an aesthetic that, to a layman’s ears, seems like technicolor hues for any infectious pop track, it’s a genre that aches to tell its own story. That is simply not the case here, and that electronica hangs Swift out to dry when she drags us through the lukewarm “I laughed in your face and said, ‘You’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith’ / This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel, we’re modern idiots” lines, only to hit us with a softly sung F-bomb that sounds like a billionaire’s rendition of that one Miranda Cosgrove podcast clip.

I used to rag pretty heavily on Reputation—mostly because I thought (and still do, mostly) that it sounded like Swift had given up on making interesting, progressive pop music; that, in the wake of her (arguably) best album, 1989, it seemed like she’d lost the plot on where to go next. But as she’s put out Midnights and The Tortured Poets Department back-to-back, I find myself clamoring for the Reputation-era more than ever—at least seven years ago, Swift wrote songs like she had something to prove and even more to lose.

That was the always-obvious charm of Reputation, even despite the downsides—that she took a big swing from the echelons of her own musical immortality, that the comforts of winning every award and selling out the biggest venues in the world were no longer pillowing her aspirations. Even though that swing didn’t land, she still made it in the first place—and Swift is at her best either when she is clawing upwards (Reputation) or faced with nowhere to go but into the studio and noodle with the bare-bones of her own sensibilities (folklore).

You get something like The Tortured Poets Department when the artist making it no longer feels challenged, where she strikes out looking.

The mid-ness of The Tortured Poets Department will not be a net-loss for Swift. She will sell out arenas and get her streams until she elects to quit this business (a phrase decidedly not in her vocabulary, surely).

She will sell more merch bundles than vinyl plants have the capacity to make, and rows of variant LP copies will haunt the record aisles of Target stores just as long as Midnights has—if not longer.

Perhaps, in five or six years’ time, we will speak of this record just as we now do of Reputation. But right now, it is obvious that Swift no longer feels challenged to be good. The Tortured Poets Department is the mark of an artist now interested in seeing how much their empire can atone for the sins of mediocrity.

Can Swift win another Album of the Year Grammy simply because she released a record during the eligibility period? The Tortured Poets Department reeks of “because I can,” not “because I should.”

On “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can),” Swift tries stepping into the shoes of the country renegades who came before her—the Tammy Wynettes and Loretta Lynns of the world. But her self-aggrandizing inflation of importance, glinting through via a seismically-bland bridge, is backed by a minimal set dressing of guitar, drum machine and keys.

“Good boy, that’s right, come close,” she sings. “I’ll show you Heaven if you’ll be an angel—all mine. Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man. No, really, I can.” On “Florida!!!,” Swift calls upon Florence + the Machine to help her sing the worst chorus of 2024: “Florida is one hell of a drug / Florida, can I use you up?”

Even Welch, who is a fantastic pop singer-songwriter in her own right, delivers a grossly watery verse: “The hurricane with my name, when it came I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away.”

Not even the typos on the Spotify promotional materials for this album could have foretold such offenses. I won’t even get into the sonics, because Antonoff just rewrites the same soulless patterns every time.

What separates The Tortured Poets Department from something like Reputation is that, on the latter, Swift made it known what was at stake and who she was making that album for—herself, in the aftermath of her greatest long-standing criticisms (“Look What You Made Me Do” triumphs exactly because of this).

On The Tortured Poets Department, there is a striking level of moral nothingness. The stakes are practically non-existent, and the album sounds like it was made by someone who believes that they had no other choice but to finish it, as if Swift fundamentally believes that her creative measures are firmly embedded in the massive monopoly her name and brand currently hold on popular music. That’s how you get meandering pop songs about hookups, wine moms, Stevie Nicks comparisons, Jehovah’s Witness suit mentions, hollowed-out, tone-deaf nods to white-collar crime in lieu of empowerment and, topically, Barbie dolls.

(Don’t even get me started on the Anthology lyrics, which feature these absolute barn-burners: “Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto” and “My friends used to play a game where / We would pick a decade / We wished we could live in instead of this / I’d say the 1830s, but without all the racists / And getting married off for the highest bid.”) This album and its hackneyed grasps at relevance exist as “Did I just hear that?” personified, but in the most derogatory sense of the notion.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” features another low-point in Swift’s lyrical oeuvre, as she sings “I felt more when we played pretend than with all the Kens, ‘cause he took me out of my box”—perhaps a measure of her capitalizing on the Barbenheimer mania that none of us could escape, not even the musician who spent most of 2023 flying across the world from one country to another.

But you, us, the listener—we want to believe that Swift makes these records because she has the artistic will, drive and interest to continue giving us parts of her story in such ways that they exist as an archival of her life.

But the problem is that, on The Tortured Poets Department, Swift is packaging her life into a form that is easily consumable for the 17 or 18 years olds who pour over her music. Just because her Eras Tour film is on Disney+ doesn’t mean she has to strip her songwriting (which we know can be, and has been, phenomenal) down for the sake of it being digestible by a wide spectrum of ages.

And, sure, maybe that makes the work accessible. But on The Tortured Poets Department, Swift makes Zoomer jargon her bag—titling a song after one of the most popular video games in the world and conjuring flickers of “down bad” and “I can fix him”—and it feels like she’s cosplaying because the Fountain of Youth was out of order.

Now that Swift is in her 30s, it sounds like she is infantilizing her own audience more than ever before—that singing to them at a level that could force them to reckon with something more akin with adulthood would be some kind of kink in the coil or her consumeristic threshold, that writing lyrics that sound like they were penned by a 30-year-old would, somehow, deter the interests of the billions of people who adore her.

If making one, continuous coming-of-age album is what Swift has been doing for 15 years, folklore and evermore were hiccups in the timeline—existing as the most fully-formed renderings of Swift’s own insecurities and concerns. They mirrored our platitudes towards an uncertain future with sweet, stirring remarks about isolation and heartbreak and the unavoidable, hard-worn truth about getting older. On those records, her larger-than-life living seemed, for once, to truly feel as close to the ground as ours.

Now, though, Taylor Swift is at the top of the mountain. Far better artists have made far worse records than The Tortured Poets Department, but you can’t read between the lines of this project. There is nothing to decipher from a place of quality.

Sure, Swift’s fan base will pour over these lyrics for the rest of their lives—insisting they know, for certain, which song is about who. But you cannot place a bad album on the shoulders of lore and expect it to be rectified.

We are now left at a crossroads. Women can’t critique Swift because they’ll run the risk of being labeled a “gender traitor” for doing so. Men can’t critique her because they’ll be touted as “sexist.”

And, sure, Swift is probably too easy a punching bag in this case—and most of the time, I would argue she is undeserving of being a victim of such barbs. But, you cannot write about someone being a “tattooed golden retriever” and get away with it and still retain your title as the best songwriter of your generation. You just cannot.

Sisyphus should be glad he never got the boulder to the top of the mountain—because Taylor Swift is showing us that such immortality and success ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. And, when you’re standing on the peak alone, who else is there left to hit?

In a recent interview with The Standard, Courtney Love said that Swift is “not interesting as an artist,” and I think The Tortured Poets Department proves as much. She has nothing to fight for, no doubters left to drown.

So where does she turn? Well, to boredoms of celebrity thinly veiled as sorrow everyone and their mother can latch onto—because we’ve all had to “ditch the clowns, get the crown” at some point in our lives, right?

The billionaire is having an identity crisis, but there are no social media apps for her to buy up. So she sings like Lana Del Rey and writes meta-self-referential songs about looking like Stevie Nicks.

What’s hollow about The Tortured Poets Department is that the real torture is just how unlivable these songs really are. No one can resonate with “So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, crash the party like a record, scratch as I scream ‘Who’s afraid of little old me?’ You should be.” And normally, that wouldn’t be an end-all-be-all for a pop record—but when your brand is built on copious levels of “I’m just like you!” as the demigod saying it to their fans does so from a multi-million-dollar production set, it’s hard to not feel nauseated by the overlording, overbearing sense of heavy-handed detritus we’re tasked with sifting through on The Tortured Poets Department.

Love’s words to Lana, her advice to “take seven years off,” should be applied to Swift. Now, that doesn’t mean that, to make a good album, you must sit on material for years and labor extensively through the sketching, shaping and recording in order for it to be transcendentally landmark. But it’s obvious now that not even Taylor Swift wants to be the head of an empire—that she, too, can’t outrun the damning fate of being plum out of ideas by hopping in her jet and skirting off to God knows where.

See you at the Grammys.

****

[bitdemonic]

date. may 29th, 2023

time. 3:16pm

—❝𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐞.❞

𝐬𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬. future spouse pac ✞ pics with them

𝐚𝐢𝐝. if the images above are too hard to differentiate between your intuition, use ‘pile 1, 2, 3, or 4’ for the choice selection instead. this reading has five piles and each pile is different in terms of context.

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫. 18+ content—no minors. please remember, this post is just for shits and giggles. pinch a grain of salt and use the best of your discernment. i tend to write under the impression that majority of this content’s viewers are women however i read for both feminine and masculine energies. if needed to, please flip the roles as reversed for an accurate message. hope this reading is useful, but not for plagiarism bitch. enjoy.❦

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ✞

🃏lovers. 5oc. magician↺. queen of pentacles↺. tower↺. strength↺ and peace.

let it be mentioned that the lovers card amplifies all of the energy that follows; def intense because i could feel it within the deck itself. pictures here are raw, they’re always unfiltered and passionate at w.e moment they’re taken. to me, y’all are the literal definition of ownership lmao so it’s hard not to notice the obsession with each another. y’all’s chemistry is def eye-catching, tantalizing to say the least. “mine.” there are resemblances between y’all, matching tattoos or even being mistaken for brother and sister. to put it in a nutshell, this is tongue kissing on the main and taunting old exes—it’s obvious there’s bomb ass sex with each other lmao, but more importantly there is devotion.

apart from posting on social media, there’s internet presence around y’all—could be popular influencers or just outright celebrities. possible youtube couple? very de’arra and ken vibes. either way, someone in the connection (if not both) went or will go viral. the tower in retrograde, this is a specific picture at a specific point in time; it even has the potential to be life changing. “break the internet.” attention that brings problems ngl. sure someone’s jealous ex, but apart from them there is so much outside negativity towards the feminine. people are pissed when she comes across their feed, but only because they secretly want to be her. queen of coins in retrograde; envy that simmers from deep within until it becomes hatred or outer turmoil. seeing pics sent in groupchats, hate comments from spam accounts, posting on close friends—her presence triggers insecurities and people hurt under pressure. black moon lilith. as delusional as it sounds, this is an eerie situation to be in fr so be mindful.

the masculine doesn’t stand a chance omg, the feminine is deadass the star of the show. represented as the queen of wands, she’s outshining tf out of him without even trying lmao. glamorization of what the masses can see, which undeniably is her beauty. this is “off guard” pretty, bad pictures just simply don’t exist. if y’all wear makeup, it’s very complimented—the blending and baking, or contour and highlighter are a ten. this even pertains to the first paragraph, how someone here is in the public eye, because pictures of her are taken unbeknownst due to her appearance. the magician in retrograde signifies fan cams, video edits, and pinterest boards—there’s also editorials and photoshop? mentions of an aesthetic came in, or “neptune.”

all in all, this couple has magnetism and attracts opportunities due to their pictures. def some gorgeous people, it was noted that y’all’s face cards elite lmao. however, y’all have to be cautious because taboo-ism is prone to happen as well. such as scamming or catfishing, things that could cause detriment to future occasions. outsiders are the issue here, they’ll def try to bank off on y’all’s identities. something could or could’ve already happened with a certain picture? “controversy.” the response to it is fifty-fifty; half who are defending and half who are criticizing. “stans” and a “fandom” are involved.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

❦— from behind. the masculine will tower behind the feminine (no matter the height), engulfing her in a bear hug or whatever else to imply their presence. head buried in her neck, hands wrapped around her waist—this also denotes their possessiveness as partners together.

❦— pretty teeth. big big smiles here, the goofy grins and shut eyes. y’all countdown before taking a picture but numerous times because y’all can never be serious lmao. fingers in mouth type smiley faces.

❦— beauty queen. this is more-so on the feminine’s behalf, she’s the one that’s always ready for a picture and the one always asking someone to take one of her. being photogenic is one of her best features to date. no matter if y’all agree, but i’m def seeing the face of a model.

❦— cancer. this made me think of ariana grande and her husband dalton, their pic outside with the moon behind them. this is pictures in that same setting, or at least taking them during the nighttime. 8pm thru 5am. stargazing together is here too.

❦— taurus. this actually alludes to more than one thing. the masculine is a gift giver, i pulled the “sugar daddy” card for them in particular. they def have big bucks, or at least enough to gift you the finer things in life. they’ll spoil you for fun and in turn you’ll show off what they bought you—new toys lol. pics of the “next big thing” (vacation views, receipts or tickets, cars, etc). smell goods are specific, perfumes or colognes.

“glutton” corresponds with taurus as well—someone in this connection loves to chow down, meaning tons of food cameos in their (own) pictures. they’ll pose funnily; mid-chew or with a bunch of food stuffed in their mouth to be annoying lol. little dorky things like putting an orange peel in their mouth before they smile.

❦— do not disturb. pretty self-explanatory, but for y’all this seems to be alone time from the world. this reminded me of travel, but i channeled that this is to each others hometowns. this could be an interracial connection, mentions of cultural traditions and differences.

❦— naked bodies. the feminine’s chest is significant, something about that area in particular that the masculine loves. there’s pics of them fondling or sucking on her nipples, playing with them even. someone’s v-line is here, plus a hand going up their abdomen. the masculine’s bare ass is source material too, those pics are for funsies.

❦— topping. this could obviously mean they’re a daddy dom in general lmao, but if not it just means the masculine will be hunched over or “taller” than the feminine. she’ll be lower than him, as in he’s standing and she’s sitting or she’s laying down beneath him. sex-wise this is them doing it from behind or being on top quite literally.

❦— foreplay. tbh this one is vague, but i still wanted to put it in bc why tf not. this is while y’all are in the moment, or while someone is teasing the other before actual intercourse. pictures of them while they’re giving you hickies, or while they’re pulling at your underwear to give you oral. somebody’s an ass muncher too so expect pics of that lmaooo.

❦— sloppy. no but yes iykyk😂 this is more on the pic itself, how it won’t be organized or captured clearly during sexual moments. like if you’re pleasuring them and have them take a picture, it’ll just come out fucked and unfocused because they’re fucked and unfocused. kinda what would’ve been the perfect shot if y’all weren’t so “distracted”.

brooklyn and nicola peltz-beckham (hot ass names) are the perfect couple example for this pile. their expressiveness together is subtle, yet loud enough that we know they’re each other’s one and only. regardless of how long the relationship lasts, we’ll remember the fact that they were ultimately made for each other.

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 ✞

🃏king of cups. princess of cups. 2oc. 5op↺. 8oc↺. rest and comfort.

this spread screams emotional depth, it’s haunting as hell but not in a bad way—in a way that’ll pull your soul into its deep abyss. hypnotic almost. this is “grow old together” love, i can literally feel the years in my bones. these are moments that you can’t help but reminisce on, pictures that are saved or bookmarked because they’re so very special. their essence is felt and appreciated, enough that there’ll be tears of happiness. lmao this is going to sound corny, but this connection’s energy reminds me of a warm blanket. like milk and cookies on the sofa, or a kiss goodbye from grandma. it’s just so snug, i can’t even put into words how safe i feel right now. how libras are sweet and tender, fragile enough to shatter if you aren’t gentle—this is softness at its finest.

[TW] substance abuse could’ve been an reoccurring issue in this relationship, or at least a bad problem. the five of pentacles being in retrograde was an indication of sobriety to me, along with the image of somebody holding their own sobriety chip with a smile—not for everyone, but pictures under this circumstance are meant to remember the past without having to revisit the pain. “encouragement.” it’s apparent at this point lmao, but the sweetest captions known to man are found here. paragraph after paragraph, an everflowing stream of appreciation for your partner. endearing birthday posts are significant, along with sweet nothings in the comments omg y’all are sapsss. if i had to put it in words, “smol” or “wubs” come to mind before anything else omg y’all are sapssssss.

there are before and after pictures with each other (childhood friends, neighbors, friend of a friend, etc.) because again “growing old iem together”, there’s a sense of watching each other through the years. feeling the vibe of them being around as kids, transitioning into adulthood then getting closer as grownups. if not tho, this is someone that you’ll literally feel at home with; they are home to be real. this is a person that’s familiar, regardless of if they’re new or not. y’all are going to be glued to each other’s side until death. similarities are here, but in the sense of same environment or same social circle. i’m also getting similar taste in hobbies, music, and clothing. meditation or gym pics are common, promoting balance and wellbeing is a shared interest. personalities in general, ya’ll coordinate so very well. no wonder people linger longer than they need to—they’re wanting to see what’s next with the world’s cutest couple. also because y’all are walking enigmas and it threatens them lmao.

the attributes of venus sums up y’all’s pictures together. they’re beautiful, and are the literal definition of a thousand words. i channeled date night, but this came to being in the kitchen most of the time. y’all love to cook together, or to be in the kitchen at the same time to goof off and be annoying. dinner at home happens frequently, i’m seeing someone set the table while the other chops vegetables and stirs the pot. there’s pictures of handwritten love letters or random bouquets of flowers, things that tend to sweeten life with them a little more than before. this is def “fell in love with my best friend”, even as a photo caption lol. friends in general are around y’all—drunk nights at the bar, group poses in front of an amusement park, eating edibles and doing vlogs, etc. a lot of moments with your future spouse include people y’all are close with as a couple (siblings, co-workers, group of friends). nostalgia is the overall vibe here. pictures together feel good and “homey”.

extra mentions because i can’t even get over this pile, this is my favorite one out of all of them. it just feels how a polaroid looks, but in the sense of being in love? i just keep seeing the little things🥹 walking alongside the beach, kissing in the photo booth, building a gingerbread house, picking their nose even lmao. wow ya’ll have custom fridge magnets too. i didn’t get that pics of them were frequent on social media, more so because they’re too special to share. this pile values their privacy so pictures aren’t taken with the thought of anyone else in mind, they’re very cherished. i did channel emotional milestones being posted (pregnancy, marriage, moving in, etc.) and i do see their own certified spot on your page (photo dumps, page highlights, name in bio). kinda like a virtual museum of their love to you and your love to them.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

❦— them. a potent photo trait is literally your fs lmao, they’re lowkey walking art. something about their facial features or structure are resemblant to a god’s—very pretty people, and we photograph them as such. capturing them from their good angles with the best lighting, it’s flattering. people stop breathing when they see these pictures.

❦— b&w. these are heartwarming pictures, ones that are wholesome enough to frame and hang on the walls. i’m seeing pinkies being intertwined and eskimo kisses, innocence personified. closeups of someone covering their face and hiding their smile, but peeking through their fingers to see the camera cuteee.

❦— work. big thing here, it was mentioned three times. y’all could have an online business together, one that encourages or promotes positivity (self affirmations, fundraisers, products, etc.) it could be popular, there’s succession (passed down thru generations) and a sense of being stable despite y’all being new owners.

there’s also “goodbye” and “big city”, working creates long distance travel which means the time y’all usually spend together gets split in half. someone has to leave frequently and for long periods of time, this in turn creates photo dumps (which are so common here lol) and extra long captions.

❦— hermit mode. take a shot for each time i’ve said something’s cute lmao but this is so cute. so these are pics at home or in comfortable environments, in matching onesies or facial masks. just very big kid vibes, y’all even build pillow forts to sleep in them awww. this is peace and quiet with each other.

❦— phone. i channeled facetime and audio messages, “listen to me.” ya’ll spend hours upon hours on the phone. no matter if it’s meaningful convo or a simple check in, y’all will talk all day until your mouths go dry. taking screenshots of their goofy messages (hilarious btw) while falling asleep on the phone, y’all can’t get enough of each other. this is someone that will listen to and send songs that remind them of you, creating playlists that y’all will listen to together.

❦— landscapes. beautiful views with them, emphasis on beautiful. orange sunsets, mossy green hills, glittered night skies. blooming gardens or snowcapped peaks, nature as a whole is prominent but def within photos. a “secret” code is here; if someone isn’t in the picture entirely, their stuff will be so that we know they’re around. (car keys or a phone, initials in the sand, half-eaten food etc.)

❦— guess what? “we just fucked.” lame i know lmaoooo but this is what y’all do, leave writing on foggy windows or wet handprints against shower glass. it could be wet stains on the bed, bite marks on the thighs—anything goes to snitch on y’all selves tbh. even seeing red scratches across someone’s back, yet they grin with a thumbs up.

❦— nudes. if your person is a male, pictures of their wand are reoccurring. very reoccurring lmao, whether it’s sent from them or taken by you. specifically pictures of your hand wrapped around their wand after they’ve🥛 but there’s videos too, more of the oral part before the finish lmao. this is on the feminine’s phone in particular, she has a hidden folder in her camera roll just for these.

❦— home videos. y’all have beautiful sex together, as in pleasure that’s meant to be on film fr. emotions and passion at an all time high, it’s as if the walls were painted in y’all’s intimacy. “aesthetes.” so much thought and effort are put into the final product—props and low lighting, burning candles, background music. it’s a movie scene, even down to the settings that resemble paintings.

❦— the fool. it’s normal for nsfw pics to happen outside; in nature or in public spaces. wild cards fr, you’ll end up doing it anywhere and everywhere (oral included). no regard for the law or peeping toms either, y’all get too wrapped up in each other care. this is in restrooms, at parking lots, on beaches, etc. just don’t get caught lmao.

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 ✞

🃏queen of cups↺. 6os↺. 5op. 10op↺. 9oc. cleanse and ideation↺.

i want to mention that i noticed a dime while shuffling—this made me think “a dime a dozen” or “diamond in the rough.” this is on the fs’s part, they put you on a pedestal. you’re a trophy to them, the winning prize, someone that they’re so proud to experience and witness in their everyday glory. no one in the world reminds them of you, you’re indifferent and cherishable. your own person. channeled that this is evident in their eyes—in pictures you’ll notice a glimmer or glint, even the admiration on their face. in awe of all that is you.

these are photos that can’t be shared, ones that are kept secret and stowed under passwords. “your eyes only.” this energy is very secretive, very “shhhh” and it seems to be a double edged sword situation. this pile’s future spouse has an outside relationship, someone they’re involved with despite their attachment to you. it’s shitty because y’all truly have a bomb ass connection but the secrecy behind it overshadows the love. the emperor in retrograde, their control over the situation is a nuance to the issue. the problem lies in their dismissal of reality, life outside of the fantasy they’ve created. pertaining to them leaving their current partner, it’s no negotiation on how or when to do it. they want to leave on their own time, but you’re not a fan of that sentiment because it’s tiring. this person is so matter of fact tho lmao, they say “deal with it or don’t.”

ngl i do see this as possessiveness, but it’s not as terrible as it seems. the circumstance could obviously be better, but as far as their intentions go it’s never out of spite. it sounds confusing because yes this is a love triangle, but truthfully they’re more invested in what y’all have. there’s just no forward action after the fact which screams lack of accountability due to their pride and ego. despite their leo placements (trust me), this person emulates the cowardly lion and his fear of courage, particularly their refusal to come clean and cut ties. with cleanse and ideation being contrasting colors (red and blue i.e. hot and cold), moments of passion turn into missed calls and ghosting. long periods on their end, on and off or up and down, because they don’t want to accept defeat—being in love.

these photos remind me of a mask, one that hides the truth behind wide smiles and kissy faces. it’s a lot going on within this connection and tbh that aspect is more evident than anything in the camera. despite their emotional response to you, i did channel that they have the tendency to forget you’re human lmao. not in a weird disrespectful sense, but that you’re an item they want to keep “all alone and only needing me.” it seems unhinged but again this isn’t with ill intent, it’s a claim for them. “competition” and i’m channeling flavor flav’s dating show—this is an ego (leo) thing for sure because of course this person has insecurities revolving your other options. this is such a situationship lmao but i don’t think it’s all bad, just some major inner reflection is needed. i will say that pile three’s energy was quiet, this seems to be withdrawal from dealing with old patterns and that’s valid.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

❦— photobomb. this person is alwaysssss interrupting personal pictures lmao and with no shame too. i’m getting so many random instances of them, nine times out of ten they’ll be in the background of whatever is taken. channeling live photos specifically; you’re posing in the mirror as they walk in to bother you lmao. they start to grab at your waist to give you a kiss, but you’re laughing and squealing instead. they’ll have moments as such, but their gestures are significant (middle fingers, expressive faces, waving at the camera etc.)

❦— scorpio. very sexy, secluded energy is significant. for obvious reasons it’s borderline sneaking around, so the air of enticement is always there. “risqué.” there’s something about the lighting that adds to this dynamic, either lowering brightness or dimming the contrast (me coded) to “seduce” or add mystique. also it just looks better lmao.

❦— three of wands. specific so it’s not for all, but someone in this connection is either bisexual or bi-curious. this could even point to a polygamous or open relationship because i’m seeing threesomes or kissing people of the same sexual orientation. maybe even doing things with this person’s outside connection(s), it was mentioned. this didn’t come off as a photo trait but i still put it in lmao take what resonates.

❦— thin ice. one or the other are using their partner’s state of vulnerability as a quote unquote mindfuck😭 this is when they’re upset (yelling, crying, silent treatment etc). i even see someone sticking up their middle finger as their person spams a bunch of pictures. “aw you mad?” this seems to be the fs’s game of choice and it’s irritating bc sometimes they can’t read the room lmao.

❦— honey. this lands since together y’all seem to be hot and sticky, but turn out sweet at the same time. your person’s teasing and childish antics tie into this too (sticky), they’ll send pictures of things they ordered for you or send money to make up for upsetting you.

❦— hot. honey hot lmaoo don’t unfollow me yet. “turn me on” and “sexy sexy” came out, pretty self explanatory. i could see the energy if anything, y’alls energies are intense af. it’s like looking at porn in the form of a couple, very cunt tbh (i hate myself). sexual innuendos come from this too—grabbing crotches but it’s not in view, peeking at them from under the sheets, biting fingers or being choked.

❦— aquarius. very unserious couple lmaooo (take a shot for each lmao lmao), ya’ll are so silly together. this is milk mustaches, cheek biting, sniffing armpits, clenching butts—literally anything dumb. fun environments or dates that require being active, ones that are out the box or outside comfort zones. rock climbing, bungee jumping, parasailing, rooftop golf, riding atvs etc. veryyy fun pics.

❦— evidence. i didn’t want to include this because i don’t encourage it but we move. whatever pics come out of this specific part, they’re going to be vile. just outright nasty lmao and it’s for a reason. this is def ammunition for the feminine, this is her weapon for those that try to sabotage this relationship out of spite or competition. saved for “rainy days.” this is one leo ass pile😭

❦— aphrodite. because you’re breathtaking, they’ll catch you in the moments of being “free” or at ease. like when you’re getting undressed for a shower or when you’re glowing after great sex. capturing minuscule details that only a lover would notice, they see true beauty even when you aren’t attempting to be.

❦— nudes. the feminine is naughty oooo. “invisible ink.” she’s sending nudes like invitations lmao, but on the occasion that y’all have been separated for too long. wants to show her partner what they’ve been missing, or at least what they can’t have. “look since you can’t touch.” it’ll be torture too lmao, she’s def dolled up and posing in whatever’s sheer to flaunt her goods.

when it comes to sexual media in general, y’all are always on the same page. whenever, wherever, however—it’s always reciprocated because it’s always wanted lmao, it’s exciting and keeps things fun. sexting at work, whispering dirty talk into the phone, masturbation videos before noon etc. admiration of each other’s bodies is here; heart emojis and words of affirmation.

❦— queen of coins. this is value during pleasure, goddess treatment when it comes to bedroom activities. tbh if y’all stared at them long enough it’d just get y’all hot and bothered for more. i’m channeling that your person will dead send money in return for being blessed omg. roleplay and cosplay were mentioned, y’all go shopping for new costumes or items together.

had to mention because it kept reoccurring whenever i edited this specific pile—i kept repeating lmao after certain sentences or wanted to put in dumb shit for comedic presence, and i wanted to be blunt with this pile so bad because y’all felt so bestie. this was so y’all’s fs lmao idk who they are but they’re nothing but jokes, a pure clown at heart. i thought it was cute because i interpreted it as y’all being so connected that even when y’all are far apart y’all are still so close.

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 ✞

🃏5os↺. 2ow↺. 3oc. the hermit. the magician↺. flow↺ and growth.

off bat it seems that pictures didn’t come into fruition for a while, at least three-five months tops. “no sudden movements.” resistance and ghosting are here, someone is running from the connection out of fear. the hermit card means that they’re scared of stepping outside their comfort zone to take a risk. not even in a negative way it’s just that they’re terrified lmao. this is def bestfriends to lovers but there’s turtle movement around the union coming together—that same someone doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. they don’t know this obviously, but y’all are actually a divine union. “ancient” so this could be souls from a past life coming together again. “grounded as human beings.” this is so slow burn tho lmao i can deadass see a tree starting to grow but in slowww motion.

this person fantasizes heavyyy about taking passionate photos with you, but again y’all are nowhere near that level of commitment yet. pretty sure this reading’s timeline is during the beginning or middle of y’all’s friendship since there’s so many downloads about comfortability and not wanting to mess up. they’re fighting temptation so bad it’s wild lmao, they’ve never felt this strongly about someone—let alone a friend. red hearts are in their eyes whenever you’re near, but they’ll still turn away to avoid facing the truth of their feelings. it’s annoying to them too lmao, queen of cups represents the emotional pull your presence has on them. to be caught up in the depths of inner reflection is so outside themselves and yet here they are.

someone else is involved with the pacing of this connection. the three of cups being pulled is representative as a person or situation outside of y’all, one that they’re incapable of leaving though they’re desperate to. “can’t.” something about being bound (marriage, children, parents, religion etc.) is the reason why. whichever or whatever it is, unfortunately it’s not an easy fix. their energy is obviously the most prominent and that’s because they’re yearning for this idea of becoming more, they just hate that blockages exist and are effective. you’re a literal pleasure to be around, they wish to easily accept and embrace all that you should offer. channeled tupac’s love letter to jada and how he wrote, “you bring me 2 climax without sex.” beautiful ass words from him btw, but in correspondence to your person this is what they’d say about you too. it’s a lot to relish in and it’s prob not obvious, but they do worship the very ground you walk on. admiration, adoration, appreciation in every way possible. honorable mention, your future spouse loves talking to you. general conversation is nice, but y’all peel off the layers of topics that are taboo or undiscussed. the conversation will reach the very ends of the earth just to double back again for more.

didn’t realize until now that pics together weren’t mentioned that much because this person had some things to say instead lmao. it’ll start off discreet, sneaking photos of you from behind or getting them walking past your table. this is cute considering the reading was mainly from fs’s perspective, but you’re the one that’s taking “accidental” pictures of them first. and when this person happens to take “accidental” pictures too, they won’t ever delete them. keepsakes. those accidents soothe the big fat secret crushes y’all have on each other. y’all are literally 🩷 in human form, or puppy love as a couple. very cute like i’m squealing for y’all.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

❦— spam. “123” was pulled twice, but instead of countdowns i channeled multiple pictures at once. getting in each other’s faces for the fun of it, catching them off guard or at their “worst” to be silly lol. i see y’all picking out the most embarrassing ones and saving them to y’all’s favorites.

❦— beyoncè. “middle fingers up, put them hands high.” boy do y’all love this gesture lmaooo this is def in almost every pic if not all. i did hear until it’s used with direct intent then the rest of the song came in😭 this is a jab at their on and off behavior, y’all have periods of being beefed out bc of it.

❦— hair. someone’s hair is prominent, could be curly? if not it’s still apart of photos together, it’s even a prop sometimes. very nice hair, bold or beautiful. this is using strands of hair for mustaches or pretending to eat it with wide eyes lmao.

❦— taurus. could be food pics as well, but i channeled netflix and chill vibes. lounging around with y’all’s legs on the other or using chests as pillows. y’all send screenshots of movie favorites (actors and directors, behind the scenes, monologues etc.) or of movie knickknacks. seeing pics at comic-con and animals in character costumes. movie funko pops or figurines too.

❦— venusian. this is someone that will always always always compliment you before, after, or during a picture. if you ask them to take one of you, you’ll notice how fucking long it takes them to do it. i’m seeing them look back and forth, from you to the camera, because “wow you’re real.” gorgeous too. taken aback for sure but they’ll hide it behind witty little remarks. “wow you actually look nice today” but instead it’s the shittiest attempt at hiding what they really want to say.

❦— old friend. waving hello or goodbye, someone is doing this to the other as they come closer or farther away. pictures while they’re walking, seeing small smiles and timid hands. sweet gestures are significant, followed by blushing cheeks or shy eye contact.

❦— baby. this🥹 this is literally y’all’s aesthetic in most pictures. it’s like looking at puppies and kittens, how your whole demeanor goes soft and you can’t stop saying “awww.” tenderness is always there and it’s shown—forehead kisses, tracing noses, wearing each other’s shirts or hoodies, hugs from behind etc.

❦— boobies and more boobies. boobies.

❦— fluids. horrendous ass word but these are pics of 🥛 or 🧃 on each other’s faces. releasing on your lower body, or you’ll get them drenched in yours. if this person has a wand, i’m seeing it lodged in your mouth or being tapped across your cheek. this includes (loud and expressive🤭) self-masturbation on their end as well.

❦— condiments. yessss this is them putting whip cream on your neck to suck it off or pouring syrup into your belly button and licking it out. not food but ice cubes were mentioned too, dragging it along your body or kissing it into your mouth. plus they’re delicate with it. these are vids more than pics, but nonetheless y’all hot af lmao.

❦— lingerie. high quality, as in lace corsets and beaded garters that give off haute couture. getting the vibe of something expensive, and it doesn’t have to be but y’all not wearing nothing cheap lmao. doe or siren eyes in the camera, along with lewd poses and provocative faces.

❦— hotttt. vids of them taking control or dirtying you up real good since they’re on camera🥵 rough and nasty, crying and begging type shit. i’m hearing taunting or a tone of condescendence while they pound harder and deeper wow. very raw and disgusting i love it. choking and spitting even, they’re extremely intense when they want to be and you’re going to love it lmao.

❦— aftercare. capturing each other’s naked bodies, either rubbing against one another or winding down after a round. this is when it’s all said and done, when y’all are out of breath and exhausted from banging each other’s brains out lmao. but it could also be the slower part of intercourse, where y’all still “attached” but it’s coming to an end. bro y’all are hot af😭

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 ✞

🃏5ow. 10ow↺. death↺. 4os↺. 9ow. 2os↺. space and passion.

starting with the cards space and passion, this pile def has to tiptoe around the concept of taking photos with their fs. whoever they are, there’s disapproval around them being romantically involved with you. channeled “good girl gone bad” and it reminds me of the preacher’s daughter who turned out to be someone different than expected. with death in retrograde, that’s literally what i just said lmao—fated transformation will occur during this person and after. matter of fact, all of the cards in reverse represent the people whom are trying to lure you back into who you “used to be.” these people fear your transformation because they think it’s happening under the circumstance of pleasing your future spouse and not for personal gain. something tells me this is family talking opposed to public influence or nosey exes, and i also feel like you’re without a voice here. people don’t hear you out even when you try to speak up? with the nine of wands, you’re incessantly being put in positions where your beliefs are challenged as an adult, but this could stem from childhood as well. chiron in the 3rd, lillith in the 4th, and mercury in the 12th could be significant.

going back to this person, they give me first vibes. not in the sense of losing virginities or love and heartbreak, but your first sexual awakening. the aura around pictures with them are intense enough to be sexy but the dark and brooding type that’s why i made the assumption of this being the opened door to devotion. this feels like sex magick lmao, you’ll feel bonded to them whether it was before or after the first time. you’ve never been this infatuated before and if you think you have, no you haven’t. this is going to sound lame lmao but y’all’s energy feels like my persona on here, the profile pic and username. kourtney kardash and travis barker are a better example since they’re an actual couple. y’all are like them, not their entire relationship but the aesthetic they share and how in lust they are. don’t hate me either but i’m picking up on how kourtney pretty much changed her whole look to match travis’s vibe, this is that too (don’t do that tho, be yourself baby).

lmao let me again mention that people are pissed at this union like real bad. of course they don’t necessarily matter considering this is your life, but funnily enough they want the best for you. don’t get me wrong, however way they go about expressing this could def be better but the intention isn’t to be assholes. four of swords in retrograde, their thoughts revolve around emotional stability and maturity—you’re too young for them (fs) in terms of naivety. “ticking time bomb.” there’s truth to this tho and ofc you’ll discover why that is once it’s time to. bringing up the nine of wands again, as a whole it turned out be an age gap—your person could be older and it doesn’t have to be a huge ass difference but it’s not subtle lmao. channeled the trope dbf!character x daughter!reader😭 ngl that sums up why there’s so much tsking around y’all being together. y’all better be of legal age, and please careful when old creeps come around because no.

ngl this seems to be a karmic relationship that comes with a profound lesson; don’t get discouraged either, this is going to bring in so much growth as a physical and spiritual being. this is meant to help you transition through life seamlessly, or at least without the mindset of giving up. this lesson seems to be made up of spiritual guidance bordering past wounds (relationship, childhood, generational etc.), a universal test that’ll heal the old and assist the new. you’re kicking people from the past back where they were left at, very intent on standing where your foot lands. beautiful baby, congrats to your future self!

extra notes because i had no space to fit them in with the other paragraphs. as i said earlier, people are against y’all’s connection but it’s not just your family members that try to intercept. “tabloids.” i think your future spouse may be in the public eye? i didn’t pick up on fame in particular, but there’s some type of attention on them that gets put on you. regardless, the situation brings a shitload of haters. it’s weird tbh because people don’t not like you but at the same time they do?😭 “bittersweet” came to mind and that’s replicant of this energy in a way? “you deserve better.” people want to save you from something they don’t think is worth your time, but then want to rub it in your face that they told you so? bro idk who this person is but they are notttt popular, people not fw them at all lmao. it’s negativity around them if anything but i just heard “bad publicity is still publicity”, maybe that image works for them.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

y’all must be special irl this pile is so different from the others lol—i didn’t pick up on photo traits but personality traits instead so i went with it. there’s no nsfw section for y’all because i didn’t pick up on that either, however there are four more piles for y’all to choose from!

❦— green eyes. this could be literal green eyes, but i felt more of an envious energy instead. surprise surprise the same people that hate on y’all’s relationship wish it could be theirs. people are jealous of what you’re getting with them, or “earning.” gifts and pretty things for being their spouse, it’s one of those dreams that everyone wants but only few have.

❦— king of wands. daddy warbucks himself, this person is for sure rich af. they’re someone with lots of power, lots of control, lots of fucking money lmao within their career. i don’t get that they’re ceo of wherever they work, but they have enough pull to take trips around the sun and bring you along too. “penthouse views” are included (obvi).

❦— honey. this person def has some seasoning to them, heavy dilf and silverfox vibes around their appearance. seeing a beard, low eyes, maybe even flannel shirts lmao. some of y’all have the twd cast (andrew lincoln, norman reedus, jeffrey dean morgan) and pedro pascal for face references. a rugged daddy basically😂

❦— cherries. maybe this is someone’s favorite fruit? this made me think of the tropics or places similar to the virgin islands. frequent flyer miles, traveling to visit warm beaches and clear coastal waters.

❦— hunter x chaser. this is such forty-year old energy lol it’s charming and that’s what they typically know best. your future spouse def got on your nerves with how much they kept hitting on you😂 not in a weird way, but in a way where they were intent on getting your name. i’m seeing phone number offers and warm smiles, crow’s feet around their eyes too. there is a sense of rejection here, but eventually you cave to their advances.

❦— 22. could be significant to y’all’s age gap, or maybe you’re this age at the time y’all meet. this number made me channel birthdays or special celebrations (anniversary, party, holiday etc). we’re aware of this person’s bank account lmao so it’s no surprise that they’re fond of spending whatever to throw the best whatever. “cover it all.” they’re the type to make things extra special and absolutely perfect for you, no matter the cost.

❦— awakening. this is in regards to you, how being with this person brought a rebirth that ultimately forced you to shed old skin. “Jesus.” major spiritual transitions, regardless of if you believe in higher power or not. this person is the catalyst to writing a new chapter of your life and thriving in it, you’ll be so powerful without the burden of dragging dead weight and opinions. ngl i don’t think your future spouse is meant to be longterm based on how important this transformation is for your story, i think you’ll realize that in the end. “it was fun while it lasted.” you’ll grow and reap your blessings.

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

[vmpkai]

hold up lemme just. . .

the rev. set & co with social media!

aight there we go

hamilton

twitter

he will spend several hours arguing with a person trying to prove em wrong ( *cough cough* thomas *cough cough* )

he probably sends like 20 threads per answer too cuz we all know he exceeds the character limit every single time

laurens

has gotten suspended several times for some of his insults

has @ trump to call him out on his shit ( like he should )

people love him for his hot takes abt the government

king of twitter drama

pinterest

has two accounts: one for art, one for memes

has a shitton of boards

nobody - not even hammy boy - is allowed to see them

his memes are literally the most brainrot shit ever ( mood )

laffayette

occasionally posts his art but uses it for inspiration for the most part

has a fucking gay gay homo gay board ( he's just like me fr )

instagram

has so many selfies on there

yk he is popular asf cuz he's so handsome

he gets a shitton of down HORRENDOUS thirst comments and he is absolutely proud of that ( and trust me they are absolutely foul )

has roped the others into taking some with him

his posts are either runway model level of quality or the most shittiest of shitpost

mulligan

angelica

tumblr

just prefers it to everywhere else

runs the bigger fashion blog in all of new york

loves posting his designs on there

and the crowd goes fucking wild for his design

ofc his mates are gonna be in the comments hyping him up

they're also models

eliza

twitch ( hear me out )

extremely popular pro gamer

absolutely dunks on everyone she plays against

mainly plays cod and fortnite

people show up for her skills and her roasts cuz we all know she fucking cooks all the misogynistic dorks on there ( it's giving feminist packgod, aight? )

and peggy

youtube

has a cooking channel

absolutely adores her audience

has defo fallen asleep several times watching those iceberg videos on the most randomest of topics

the recommended page does not match the face whatsoever ( she doesn't open youtube around others because of it )

even though she denies it constantly, she watches commentary channels on drama she's interested in

tiktok

madison

she got millions of followers

mainly posts funny skits with her sisters

her fyp are diabolical, disgraceful, discombobulating, shameful ( she just like me fr /j )

only communicates in tiktoks + she will send you shit in the middle of the night

tumblr

he prefers the controlled chaos of it to anywhere else

posts about his favorite books

has a sizeable audience on there

jefferson

refuses to tell anyone ( *cough cough* thomas *cough cough* ) about his blog

burr

twitter

sole purpose is to wind up hamilton every chance he gets

also loves the drama on there

bros the type of person to have thousands of followers and then either follows nobody, or like up to 5 people total

it boosts his ever growing ego

washington

reddit

yk he frequents r/vent to complain about hamilton

also loves sifting through r/aita ( he has most definitely posted some stuff in there too )

he's in such a random group of subreddits

facebook

he's a facebook dad absolutely

king george

has fallen for the conspiracy theory traps a few times

his posts are just all dad things

he does NOT know how to use emojis at fucking all and it's glorious

instagram

flexes his money, wealth and all that jazz

also lives for the tea on there

posts on his story like 20 times a day

his ego is the size of england thanks to that site

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

Ok now that I’m thinking abt it cfv cast social media headcanons if cfv was set a little closer to now than 2011:

Aichi: he has Instagram but mostly to follow Kai (who didn’t actually accept his follow request until like the end of season 1 lmao) and Misaki and all his other friends rather than out of a particular desire to post pictures himself. It’s a private account and he posts when the mood strikes him, with content wildly varying from like pictures with friends to cute animals to cool new vanguard cards to food that was particularly good. Has Snapchat because Kamui bugged him about it and mostly uses it for streaks (but he forgets a lot & kamui’s like BROTHER AICHIIIIIIII :( OUR STREAK :( ).

Kai: Instagram. It’s also a private account, and for a while he just had 2 followers (Ren and Tetsu), then after their fallout he blocked Ren and Tetsu but Miwa bugged him into accepting his request (though he didn’t really post during that time just used it to observe), then after s1 he finally accepted more of his friends’ follow requests. Eventually he starts posting food he made & ofc his favorite kagero units (& maybe his friends. Occasionally. He’s not big on writing captions though). I can also see him having a Twitter where people try to antagonize him & he roasts the shit out of them (Kamui is constantly in his mentions trying to start shit, at first out of genuine dislike - he gets blocked for a while because of this - but then just for fun. Kai still blocks him every so often, and/or occasionally plays along and snipes back with some rude comment, but it’s mostly to annoy him back rather than out of genuine malice. Mostly. He does enjoy being an asshole to Kamui though). Has Snapchat but pretty much only opens it when Aichi sends him something (Ren likes to send him a million snaps chronicling his whole day to annoy him so mostly he ignores the app).

Misaki: she’s a Pinterest girlie for sure. Very organized Pinterest boards with images that are always properly sourced. She also has Instagram (also a private acc) but she didn’t use it much before she met her card capital friends, now she uses it to keep tabs on Aichi and the others. She doesn’t really post pictures except on special occasions but she is an avid close friends story user, especially when she knows Kourin will see her posts (before s4? Or au where she doesn’t disappear I guess? Idk it’s my city & I’m already diverging from canon to say they have social media just roll with it). There’s also an official Card Capital Instagram, and when she becomes the store owner in G she doesn’t really run it but she has to approve the content that gets posted there. I can also see her having tumblr just bc of her “strange” sense of humor, like she’d be very anonymous about it and not put basically anything in her bio (MAYBE her name but maybe not even that, & possibly a fake name), but I can see her being fairly popular here.

Kamui: he’s too young for social media AND YET he has it anyways. Can frequently be found getting into fights on Twitter. He’s also a big Snapchat user and HATES when people leave him on read, or when someone’s about to break a streak. Very big on streaks in general, has insanely long ones with Reiji and Eiji. Also he definitely has tiktok and (he will deny this but) he’s jealous when anyone he knows has more followers than he does. How does Suzugamori Ren have that many followers anyways >:/? In G era he downloads Instagram because he heard that Emi did it.

Miwa: definitely a Reddit user (but like not in the derogatory way, he’s just fascinated by the site). He has a personal Instagram as well as a wildly popular other account dedicated to unflattering candid pictures of his friends (mostly Kai but Misaki Kamui and Morikawa are also frequent features, and, on one memorable occasion, Jun). Semi-popular on TikTok for being a sweet & funny guy and also for casually mentioning insane things that happened and never elaborating (“yeah sorry I was absent I got kidnapped because my dumbass friend wanted to play cards with a gang leader, that guy better be grateful”).

Reiji and Eiji: have the same social media Kamui does, and hype him up on it (/occasionally bemoan how lame he is) but also do their own things.

Morikawa: Tumblr user, fully believes the wizard blogs are real wizards. Gets anons from people like “I want to study you” all the time & he always misses the point and makes it into “the Morikawa vanguard school is always open to new students because I am the greatest teacher ever”. After meeting her, a lot of his posts start focusing on Kourin and his followers have an equivalent experience to when someone you’ve followed suddenly turns into a K-pop blog with absolutely no explanation. Kind of famous just because of how fucking weird he is. He also has Snapchat but is like really bad at taking pictures so everything he sends/posts is blurry or at a bad angle, but unironically. Had no interest in any other social media until he heard Kourin had Instagram and Twitter, at which point he downloaded them both and immediately started posting about her.

Izaki: Twitter user /derogatory (sorry Izaki but I know this in my heart to be true. He’s gotta have some red flags to have stayed friends with Morikawa this long). Also has Snapchat and tries (and fails) to help Morikawa take better pictures. Kamui frequently bullies him about losing their streak, which since they’re not actually that close is probably their main form of communication. Izaki’s not totally convinced that Kamui actually knows his NAME, so he’s confused about why he cares so much (it’s bc Kamui has a Snapchat streak with literally everyone he knows who 1. has Snapchat and 2. does streaks). Also possibly has an Instagram where he occasionally gets influxes of followers when he’s tagged in pictures with his more famous friends, but some of them probably don’t think he’s that interesting and soon unfollow (lmao rip)

Emi: does not have social media in the main series but gets an Instagram by G era (when Kamui finds this out he suddenly downloads Instagram even though he has never expressed an interest in it before, and thus so does Nagisa, somehow sensing what Kamui has done).

Nagisa: has Twitter only so she can follow Kamui (again, she is too young for Twitter). Kamui has her blocked but she can still somehow sense when someone’s arguing with him & she comes into their replies like “leave my man alone!!” I would not be surprised if she doxxed people tbh. She keeps getting banned but somehow every time she appeals it the ban is lifted (Kamui suspects dark magic). Also downloads Instagram in G era after Kamui does (how does she know he got it if he didn’t tell her??? She has her ways).

Kourin: has an official ultrarare Instagram and Twitter where she promotes her idol work, and also a private Instagram and Twitter where she posts pictures of her friends and nerds out about vanguard and thoroughly logically dismantles stupid people. Once she posted a stupid meme making fun of Kai on her official ultrarare Twitter instead of her personal one by accident and fully freaked out trying to take it down before the fans screenshotted it (she wasn’t successful bc idol fans are crazy and ended up saying she was hacked) (Kai will never admit it but he thought it was funny). She probably has Morikawa blocked on every platform.

Rekka: an instagram girlie FOR SURE. She posts often and sticks to a cutesy aesthetic, and is wildly popular. She’s also very into Snapchat, both in terms of doing streaks with people and live-blogging funny bits of her day on her story. Probably also spends a lot of time on Pinterest & has a lot of Pinterest boards for every situation.

Suiko: I’ll be real I have no idea. I feel like she either has no social media at all and just like guest appears on Kourin and Rekka’s, or has like official instagram/twitter accounts with tons of followers that she semi-maintains and weird shitposty anonymous accounts where she just posts whatever comes to her brain. Tbh I can see her stirring the pot so she can observe Kamui into getting into more twitter beef just to see what happens. Redditor??? She is a mystery to me.

Kenji: has Tumblr & like 60% of it is dedicated to Ancient Rome, 30% of it is about vanguard, and the last 10% is just him reblogging like feminist stuff and positive messages. A wife guy without actually having a wife or realizing he’s a wife guy (posts a lot about “his friend” - Yuri - bc he just thinks she’s neat, but his followers seem to think he’s in love with her for some reason???). Cries when people on tumblr celebrate the ides of March. Probably has been cancelled for unironically stanning Caesar. Also has an official Instagram but doesn’t post on there much, when he’s there he’s usually just there to like his friends’ posts and log back off. People are surprised by his lack of social media and have not connected his tumblr (where he stays completely anonymous thank you very much, he is Not a fan of the attention) to him, and are always begging him to post more on his Instagram/get more social media, but when Yuri and Gai bring this up hes like no <3 I will not <3

Yuri: she’s a YouTuber for sure & she has helpful videos on deck building, strategy, how to stay calm under pressure, etc. Occasionally she includes her teammates or people from other teams in her videos (Aichi featured in one once and now her fans regularly ask for him to come back lol). She also has an official Instagram and Twitter, and runs most of the official Team Caesar accounts on various platforms. Yuri and Misaki are tumblr mutuals, and she is aware of Koutei’s tumblr (bc they’re both in the vanguard tag a lot and who else would be THAT obsessed with Julius Caesar. She’s no fool, she recognized it was him instantly) but she thinks it’s funny to not tell him it’s her (+ she’s kind of embarrassed in a fond way/thinks he might be embarrassed about the posts abt her if he knew) so she just scrolls through his nice posts abt her when she’s having a bad day.

Gai: tiktok famous for generally being a chill dude who’s willing to answer your vanguard questions but mostly for posting Team Caesar behind the scenes videos, which range from Yuri being mad at one or both of them to them doing challenges/playing games together, to some of their movie star stuff in G, to one particularly memorable video where he just stared at the camera while Yuri and Koutei were being in love with each other and (at least in Koutei’s part) oblivious to it in the background.

Ren: pre-season 1 he had no social media except an Instagram account and a Snapchat, both of which he used to post an ongoing stream of whatever was in his brain so that Tetsu and Kai would see it. After The Breakup™️ he went private and posted a lot of stuff about revenge, and being stronger, etc (which was no use since Kai had him blocked and he was not popular pre-Asteroid era, so pretty much only tetsu saw his posts). Also he’s DEFINITELY a Reddit user lmao. Post-season 1 Asaka got him into tiktok which he immediately became famous on, he joined Twitter which had a preconception of him due to the way he acted during season 1 and so he gets cancelled every other week for a while (eventually they mostly get used to his new personality and the way he says the weirdest shit), and he rebooted his Instagram to be public and deleted most of the old revenge posts (he probably leaves one up just to cause controversy lmao). Often leaves Kyou on read on Snapchat, but whether that’s on purpose or an accident is anybody’s guess. Actually he probably would have tumblr too & be kinda infamous bc his personality would definitely make him popular here tbh. He runs a “official ren suzugamori” blog but he never acknowledges he’s on tumblr anywhere else and everyone thinks it’s just a fake parody blog.

Asaka: tiktok famous for being hot, on team asteroid, and if she’s feeling generous for answering people’s vanguard questions (with a special focus on the Pale Moon of course). Probably also has a sizable following on Instagram. Lords her amount of followers over Misaki who pretends she doesn’t care but early seasons Misaki was actually a little annoyed by this.

Kyou: had a Twitter. Keeps getting banned from Twitter and making new accounts and the cycle repeats. Doesn’t have a tiktok but is tiktok famous anyways for always appearing in team asteroid videos in the weirdest ways (disguised as a potted plant. Scaled the building and can be seen inaudibly yelling in the background through the window on the third floor of team asteroid headquarters. Parachuting down from an airplane. Etc). When people comment about him on Ren’s videos he’s always like “who?” “I don’t see him?” or “huh, that guy looks vaguely familiar…” and when people comment about him on Asaka’s videos she refuses to name him but always says something about how much she hates that guy. Has Snapchat but about half the cast either leaves him on opened/read or straight up has him blocked (he Does take really interesting pictures though, and it’s cool to see all the places he goes! How does he have the money for all this??? Nobody knows).

Tetsu: runs “official team asteroid” accounts, including a YouTube on which Ren is IMMENSELY popular despite not being the account owner. Known for being intimidating on Twitter, and also for (one-sided tbh) twitter beef with Kamui (who would @ him like HEY ASSHOLE ACKNOWLEDGE ME >:/ & Tetsu would just ignore him) in earlier canon. He doesn’t actually use any of his accounts that much besides the YouTube and to publish official updates about team asteroid, but - though he’ll never admit it - he’s a fan of terrible memes. He asked what Asaka was laughing at once and she showed him a vanguard meme (“I don’t know if you’ll get it though”) and he excused himself and went to another room to laugh (Asaka was like ???).

[lila-pitts-apologist]

since I’m overdue for a shitpost (and I spent way too much time on this), here are the social medias I think each umbrella would use most:

for luther definitely Pinterest, he’d love a good board organizing (credit to @oklahoma2019 for saying he’d love scrapbooking ). plus, the app is pretty chill and nice compared to other apps (*cough* tiktok), he doesn’t have to worry about drama or hate and he likes how organized it all is. he especially loves pins about astronomy, poetry, and plants, and is very meticulous in how he divides his boards. overall very friendly and aesthetically pleasing 10/10

Diego does not use social media. of course he doesn’t, it’s not cool and he’s not downloading anything, shut up. no matter how much Lila and Klaus try, he refuses and claims he’ll never get anything. but then he does end up making an Instagram account after weeks of peer pressure. but ONLY, he swears, to make Lila happy. until he snoops around the app and before you know it, Diego is an Instagram reels person. he convinces himself that it’s not the same as Tiktok because it’s not, okay, but before you know it he’s sitting in the living room, volume blasting and Lila is getting sick of how many he sends her. (it’s cute though)

this isn’t super creative and a repeat but allison definitely has a huge following on Instagram; besides her fame as an actress, I imagine she’d use her page for good and raise awareness on important topics, especially after her time in the ‘60s. also, hello, no way a fashion icon like her would keep her outfits to herself. she’s a nice mix of aesthetic and aware, and after receiving some light begging she features Klaus in her frequent ootd posts.

do I even have to say this one? Klaus is insanely popular on Tiktok. It starts with shitposts, dance trends, the works, but upon deeper exploration Klaus finds a platform in desperate need of his humor. unsurprisingly, he’s popular for his personality and eccentricity, but after he gains a lot of teen followers he takes the opportunity to posts all the street tips and tricks he’s learned over the years, in a very paternal way. he’s one of those people that openly calls all his followers his destiny’s children, and won’t miss a single stupid trend. he likes to include whatever siblings he can peer pressure into joining him in his videos, usually Allison, maybe Luther, and Lila, which of course are his most viral posts. overall, klaus is klaus.

Five uses Reddit. sorry. he’d definitely refuse any social media at all at first despite his siblings klaus trying to get him to make accounts, but then secretly check things out anyway because he’s nothing if not curious. turns out, being able to rant about whatever niche subjects he wants while also being able to put idiots (who appear in abundance) in their place is right up his alley, who knew. he genuinely will spend hours pouring out the information he’s gathered onto various subs (whether it is to prove his intellectual superiority, or to help others, the world will never know). his favs are, of course, anything math related, but he does indulge himself occasionally with conspiracy subs as well as obscure historical facts only a time traveler would know. he’s got a fuck ton of karma too, but he’ll die before he tells his siblings about his account klaus finds it anyway

this one was hard to pinpoint, but I’ve come to the conclusion that Ben is an absolute menace on Twitter. I see so many people claim he’s all sweet uwu softness and sure, but did you watch almost any of his interactions with Klaus 💀 Ben has that fed up and snarky mind perfect for the hellhole of Twitter discourse. I mean come on, all that time observing Klaus and the world, the man has got a LOT of hot takes. he’s also surprisingly up to date on pop culture, and very witty so he’s managed to grow a nice niche group of mutuals he interacts with. he also dunks on his siblings whenever he can (totally definitely not inspired by Justin and David’s banter)

Viktor. most average not-average guy to exist yet simultaneously unhinged and emotional. you cannot tell me this man does not use tumblr. he is a full on tumblrina, and this goes back to his teen years. like Ben, he’s got a nice amount of long time mutuals but is the type to forget to post for 2 weeks so he’s not very popular. he DOES however have a side blog for his writing he’s had for years, which does decently well and he’s secretly very proud of it. definitely does cringe about what he posted years ago though (dude def had an emo phase)

[commander-kirschtein]

attack on titan social media headcanons

how i think the 104th would use social media in a modern!au (includes eren, mikasa, armin, jean, marco, sasha, connie, historia, ymir, bertholdt, reiner & annie) - mac

masterlist

eren jaeger:

most used app: snapchat

still does streaks on snapchat - over 600 day streak with jean and to keep it going they just send insults to each other.

has the most cracked screen, it’s literally hanging together but he refuses to get a new screen until it no longer works.

would leave the house with 14% battery (this makes me incredibly nervous but eren knows he’ll be able to charm his way into someone giving him their charger.)

mikasa ackerman:

most used app: instagram or tumblr

mikasa should be hired by the fbi or something - give her a name and she will find all their social media pages.

i’m not sure what it would be but she’s definitely part of a fandom of a tv series or music group which is why she spends so much time on tumblr.

unlike eren, she actually has a case to prevent her screen from smashing - it would probably be one of those clear ones with flowers on the back, and she’d put in a polaroid picture of her and her friends in the back of it.

armin arlert:

most used app: youtube

he hasn’t got many posts on his instagram but a few of some pretty landscapes and a couple of group photos of him and his friends. his profile picture is of him, eren & mikasa.

literally could spend all day on wikipedia. he goes to google something but then falls down a rabbit hole. 

vsauce? asap science? random reddit videos? sign armin tf up. 

jean kirstein:

most used app: twitter or spotify

does gaming live-streams with eren. people watch not to see gameplay but to see the entertainment that is jean and eren’s competitive arguing (they play a lot of call of duty, mario kart, but also minecraft when they’re actually on good terms with each other)

gets into heated arguments with people on twitter. they go on forever because jean likes to have the last word/tweet.

you know those people that always have their headphones in? jean is that kind of person. he’d be sneakily listening to music during class (let’s be real he’s definitely got airpods.)

marco bodt:

most used app: instagram (& whatsapp because he’s in a lot of group chats)

the best hype man. comments on all of his friends selfies telling them how gorgeous they look.

he sends motivational quotes and wholesome memes to all of his friends which are always appreciated.

marco’s the one to put together group chats and ensure that arguments in them are smoothly resolved (eren and jean are usually the culprits.)

sasha braus:

most used app: tiktok

definitely makes very chaotic tiktoks/tweets that just blow up and end up on popular pages that repost to instagram.

her and connie would spam group chats with memes and selfies with stupid filters on. sometimes they’ll just target one person in particular (always jean) and they end up getting kicked or blocked.

her instagram captions tend to be random quotes and inside jokes from her friends (mainly connie) much to the confusion of everyone else.

connie springer:

most used app: instagram

has a private account on instagram just to post embarrassing pictures of his friends.

goes into conspiracy theory facebook groups just to troll the people in them.

out of everyone, the most likely to have games on his phone. when he’s bored in the car or during class he’ll just start playing geometry dash or temple run.

historia reiss:

most used app: tiktok

you know she’s got a tiktok with 100k followers. tiktok dance trends, makeup tutorials, look books - she does it all.

loves pinterest so much. gets a lot of outfit/home decor ideas from it - it’s likely that there’s a ton of photos of her on pinterest as outfit inspiration.

types !! like !! this !! and uses these emojis: ✨🌸💖🥰 way too much.

ymir:

most used app: facetime

half the time she’s on her phone is going to spent spent facetiming historia i can’t lie.

i personally hc that ymir in a modern!au would play either the bass or drums and i can just see historia begging to post a tiktok of her playing that then blows up - ymir would be so nonchalant about it but inside she’s dying of excitement.

probably has every group chat she’s in on mute - occasionally will lurk to see what’s going on, would only ever join in the conversation if drama was going down in which she’d send a gif of someone eating popcorn.

bertholdt hoover:

most used app: youtube or discord

likes to watch those reddit story time videos. would spend a good few hours watching them without even realising what the time is.

has 0 posts on instagram. cannot do any insta stalking of him (unless you looked through his tagged photos and find the ONE selfie he ever took with reiner.)

does a lot of gaming and uses discord to talk to his gamer friends (probably plays more story based/quest games compared to eren and jean - maybe like the last of us & skyrim!!)

reiner braun:

most used app: instagram

at least two shirtless pictures of him on his instagram (and way more if you’re on his private snapchat story - he likes to make it known that he’s at the gym. )

uses ‘lmao’ so much to the point he says it out loud not just over text

for some reason these emojis (👍👏👋💪) make me think of reiner ?? instead of replying ‘okay’ or ‘bye’ you just get ‘👍👍’ or ‘👋👋’

annie leonhardt:

most used app: spotify

follows so many cat accounts, she’s considering making her own to post pictures of her cat.

out of everyone, likely to be the person who uses social media/her phone the least, it probably overwhelms her quite a bit so unless she’s messaging someone (or looking at cats,) it’s unlikely to see annie on her phone.

does listen to a lot of music on spotify though - she’s got a study playlist, a playlist for when she’s at the gym, songs to listen when she’s just chilling at home - her spotify wrapped every year is pretty impressive.

BONUS:

spotify or apple music?

spotify: jean, mikasa, bertholdt, ymir, reiner, annie, sasha, historia

apple music: eren, armin, marco, connie

who sends memes into group chats?

eren, jean, sasha, connie, reiner

how long do they take to reply to messages?

replies instantly: marco, historia, sasha, connie, reiner

leaves you unopened for 3 days but then replies: eren, jean, mikasa, armin, bertholdt

leaves you on read: ymir, annie

who has the highest screen time?

eren, historia, sasha

[trippin-over-my-fandoms]

I’ve seen this done before but here are my modern!rdr2 social media headcanons for the Van der Linde gang.

some of these are LONG and then some are shorter. doesn’t mean I love any of them any less however. I just did my best with all of them. 

* I treat the gang as family especially for my modern au 

Dutch

frequently uses Facebook and has dozens of friends he doesn’t even know. like if he gets a friend request he’ll accept it. John tells him he might as well just make his page public and Arthur pleads with him to make a facebook PAGE so that his random friends will stop liking posts that Arthur tags Dutch in. 

Dutch has no idea how to make a facebook page. 

he also has a Twitter and a massive following at that. He’s VERIFIED. 

all of his twitter posts are vague though

are they a joke? are they political? is it what he’s eating for lunch that day? literally no one knows.

Hosea

also has facebook but doesn’t use it because why does he need to look at pictures of events he was at. he only uses it to see things he didn’t partake in

also has snapchat but just to keep up with the kids 

because life360 was too much to deal with for everyone

and snapchat is cool

also he can and will spam you with bitmojis 

Arthur

used to use facebook a lot but stopped because he was tired of his posts getting likes from people he didn’t know and friend requests from people Dutch was friends with. 

plEASE

he has a private facebook for a reason, he doesn’t want other people to know his business. 

he also has an instagram but anything he posts on facebook also goes on there. it’s not aesthetic or pretty or anything and he doesn’t even caption over half his pictures. 

he literally only uses social media so that his friends and family know he’s alive

has snapchat because of Hosea but barely knows how to use it 

doesn’t get why everyone wants to use snapchat when teXTING AND CALLING ARE RIGHT THERE

John

the question is what doesn’t he have.

john has been trying to make it big on social media since youtube came out.

his youtube used to have videos on it but he deleted them because they were cringy and arthur liked to send them to the group text. 

plays twitch games on the weekends and sometimes with Jack but he thinks most of the subscribers are there for his kid since most of his solo streams don’t do as well

has a twitter, doesn’t follow Dutch, literally envies that he’s verified. 

he’s tried everything but no matter what he does nothing pans out

uses tiktok to promote twitch streams

instagram feed is mostly selfies of him but 99.9% of the time he’s wearing sunglasses and the caption is some random quote 

also has facebook but only to appease Arthur and Dutch, he doesn’t even have a profile picture. Claims only boomers use it. 

an avid reddit user. if he’s got problems he’ll go to reddit. claims reddit saved his life. everyone’s tired of the story so they stopped asking. 

also uses snapchat more than he should and the only social platform he has more than 100 followers on. 

Charles

same as arthur and has both facebook and instagram and posts the same on both except his are pleasing to look at. 

they’re unintentionally aesthetic 

he uses a psd on all his pictures and won’t share what it is

has monthly life updates that start with some inspirational or deep quote and then text that pushes the instagram word limit

also has a deviantart , has shared psds there before , constantly tries to convince Arthur to get it. 

used to use tumblr but he forgot about it

Abigail

the definition of a facebook mom. 80% of her facebook posts are about Jack or parenting. 

Instagram is similar but also different, she’s actually a relatively successful influencer with over 1,000 followers. 

all of her friends and family (who have instagram) follow her

has snapchat solely for the cute bitmojis and to send John adorable snaps of Jack playing with all the fun filters. 

she also won’t take a selfie unless it’s with snapchat because she no longer trusts her own camera. 

also uses pinterest and has a collaborative board with all the ladies. 

but in general, on her own, she has too many boards. she uses pinterest for EVERYTHING 

Sadie

bold of you to assume she uses social media. 

she does just not a whole lot. 

checks it once in the morning and once at night. 

except pinterest because how dare Abigail get her into it. but even pinterest she only uses in downtime. 

has facebook and instagram but there’s maybe only five posts.

if anything she’ll post on her story

will only snap Abigail and Arthur otherwise she doesn’t use snapchat

all of the social apps are mostly offloaded on her phone anyways

if she needs to know anything she just checks the group text which she has on do not disturb because they text way too much. 

Molly

she’s verified on instagram 

it’s also the only social platform she’ll use, which frustrates Dutch because he wants to be friends with her on facebook

but she’s happy with just instagram 

she keeps it simple 

and the main theme to her posts are fun outfits in her ever expanding closet

the other posts are usually of plants that she’s managed to grow. she’s not the best at being a plant mom but she’s still a good one to the ones she’s managed to keep alive. 

the only thing she contributes to the pinterest board are her own pictures of her plants which are overly aesthetic. 

Karen

started out with a normal instagram account then made a spam account which she ended up using way more often.

all of her posts are extremely chaotic

and usually reposts from her snapchat

has a reddit just to troll John

reposted his cringy youtube videos to reddit and got hundreds of upvotes

if you wanna see the most raw and chaotic videos of Arthur and John then she’s the one to follow. 

also if you wanna see Abigail when she’s not all put together. 

is the reason there’s so many memes in the collaborative pinterest board

Mary-Beth

has a instagram but also has a second instagram for art and book reviews

or basically anything she’d post on her tumblr

which is her second most used social

also uses facebook but only because she is an admin for one of those multifandom blogs. 

also begs Arthur to get a deviantart. 

uses pinterest most but only second to Abigail

literally the queen of pinterest DIYs

Micah

has twitter

as far as anyone else knows that’s all he has

maybe he has snapchat?

maybe they saw him on snapmaps once? 

all he ever does with twitter though is retweet anything Dutch posts.

yet somehow he has so many followers. 

Lenny

anyone who has snapchat has streaks with Lenny

even Hosea who doesn’t understand why it’s a thing

he also posts a lot on facebook but it’s mostly travel or vacation photos everyone is just a tad jealous of. 

Lenny always seems to be busy but still has time for streaks with his friends. 

he’s also an up and coming youtube vlogger

Sean

also has reddit to troll john

but he also legitimately uses it too. 

he’s also really popular in the minecraft subreddit , don’t ask

also has twitch and also has way more subsribers than John

and a youtube which he’ll upload (overly edited) twitch streams to

everyone subscribes to him but they don’t tell John that.

also has a tiktok and is up to date on all the trends because of course he is

Kieran

got facebook when he was 10 and just never left.

literally doesn’t use any other social media

he’s not in the group text either so he has to facebook message Arthur to know what’s going on. 

but he shares a lot of memes and cute pictures of animals

he used to follow Dutch but unfriended him when he was the only thing he ever had on his activity feed. 

Susan

has facebook but claims she doesn’t have time to use it

Arthur knows this to not be true because she will like a lot of his posts. 

she’s also guilty of liking every single picture in one post or album. 

Arthur has also caught her looking at memes and using recipes she finds on there. 

also part of the pinterest board but never contributes. 

Trelawny

he has an account for everything

like

litereally

everything. 

even whatsapp and linked in and kik

even tinder

the only one anyone knows about are his facebook, twitter, and instagam

but there’s no posts on any of them except twitter

he’s also verified

but for unknown reasons

any posts on his facebook are ones he’s tagged in

he’s also in a lot of facebook groups

Strauss

runs a subreddit

a paid facebook admin of several pages

the only person who actually knows this is Dutch because Strauss has told him about it

he has no online presence whatsoever out side of those.

Javier

spotify king

has over 500,000 subscribers on youtube

uses instagram but as another platform for his music

edits his own album covers

top tier playlists too

Tilly

aesthetic queen

the most put together and pleasing to look at instagram feed next to Charles. 

uses pinterest a lot as inspiration and for making moodboards.

also uses tumblr to share moodboards

part of the sims global community facebook group

she keeps saying she’s going to start a youtube vlog but hasn’t yet

keeps trying to convince John to let her help him with his youtube.

she also uses twitch to play minecraft and sims

oh and she set up a minecraft server for everyone

Bill

facebook boomer

that’s it

I don’t know how else to put it

probably shares heavily republican posts

Swanson

didn’t use social media until tiktok.

he doesn’t do dances or anything but he does post weirdly obscure and chaotic videos that end up trending on more than one occasion

it’s usually drunk ramblings in his car that end up being hilarious

or videos of the others almost dying or ending up in the ER

Pearson

facebook boomer but make it cool.

also shares conservative posts but less offensive ones compared to Bill’s

likes almost every post any of his friends share

also comments on them too

Uncle

does he have social media? no one knows for sure. 

yet somehow he knows what’s going on

even if nobody can find any of his social accounts or have ever seen him using one before let alone doing anything on his phone other than playing cheesy mobile games.

[miniwolfsbane]

Just had a modernized Sailor Moon head cannon, so...

(And apologies if anyone has done this before on Tumblr! All are coincidental. Inspired by ones for Animorphs. Also, Crystal is great, but I’m sure we’d all want to see our 90s girls flung into our time period just for the lulz.)

Somehow this started with This is Us, then dissolved into social media, so I had to bring it back to popular things like vegan diets and recycling.

I don’t slash, so Minako and Makoto’s relationship status is in reference to dating boys.

-------------------

*The inner girls gather around the TV every night a new episode of ‘This is Us’ premieres. Usagi, Minako and Makoto cry. Rei waffles between getting teary and pretending not to care. Ami doesn’t cry, because she watches them in the morning before school online since Japan has a different time-zone than the US. (This was it, my first Sailor Moon head cannon in like 25 years.)

*Ami breaks down and gets a Snapchat account after repeatedly calling it a waste of time.

*Everyone is on Facebook, but Luna reminds them to be careful and not post anything obvious that might reveal their identities as senshi.

* Usagi’s dating status is “in a relationship with Mamoru Chiba”.

*Minako and Makato’s relationship status’ are both “It’s complicated.” 

*Minako has an Insta just for Artemis. 30,000 followers and counting!

*Mamo-chan updates his Facebook once a year, maybe. He’s more about Twitter and other sites.

*Usagi is on every social media ever made.

* Minako is the queen of cooking fails on Instagram and Tumblr. It started out funny, but gained lots of comments and followers, so she kept doing it, hoping she’d improved. Mama wasn’t happy about the grocery bills.

*Usagi definitely has a public wedding Pinterest board.

*Chibi-Usa has several Pins of rabbits and cute things.(*Not sure if minors can have Pinterests, but humor me.)

*Ami has pins of college textbooks, regular books, music stuff, car engines and a bunch of rando stuff involving her many hobbies. So much math stuff.

* Mamoru has zero interest in the site.

*The girls have an addiction to cute snap-chat filters. (This applies to both inners and outers.)

* Between Usagi and Minako, they have a collection of over 200 cell phone cases.

* The girls are split between Divergent and Hunger Games being the better books. (Who for which, you can decide.) 

* Usagi lasted exactly two days in a vegan phase but she stopped buying fur and leather.

* Makoto is a total plant mom and has named them all.

* Usagi tried to be (to be trendy) a plant mom, but killed three ficus’ and, somehow, a cactus. Everyone wonders how Luna is still alive. (Hint: Ikuko and the rest feed her.)

* Mamoru is all about recycling and Earth Day.

* Usa-Mamo send each other good morning texts on the weekends. (Usagi always uses too many emoticons, and she complains Mamoru uses too few.)

[cringeyvanillamilk]

Social Media headcanons for modern au!

Oh!? This sounds very interesting!! You weren’t specific for which characters you’d like me to use, so I’ll choose randomly!

Asta

‘TATOES-BOI’ (Online name)

Asta posts videos of his daily workout routine on youtube

Asta likes to give tips on how to stay healthy and in shape 

Sadly, his video quality is pretty bad, but people like his spirit anyway!

Uses a cheap camera, but he does his best

He’s very consistent with his posting! He makes sure to post everyday!

Doesn’t do editing for his videos

Has a small but loyal following (consisted of all of his friends and family)

He also likes to post funny pictures of him and his squad on instagram (Noelle made him make an account)

His selfies are always unappealing because he tries too hard

M u s c l e pics

HE ALWAYS TYPES IN ALL CAPS

Would definitely give attention to various social movements on his social media

Noelle

‘xXSilverdragon_princessXx’ ‘Noelle.Silva’  (Online name)

Instagram is where she reign supreme

Posts a lot of cute selfies and aesthetic pictures

Likes to show off her outfit of the day

Is very popular online, especially since she was a part-time model

Lost a lot of followers after her removal from Nozel’s modeling agency, but still has a lot of loyal fans

A lot of hate comments but also a lot of supportive comments

Has the reputation of someone who doesn't give a shit, but really, she gives a lot of shit-! Hate comments make her really sad, but she’d rather die than show her weakness online! :(

Is known for roasting people online, she’s so good at it

Proper punctuation and uses a lot of emojis 💅😘

Has a secret stan account dedicated to Asta

Yuno

‘Yuno123456’  (Online name)

Someone took the name ‘yuno’ so he had to improvise

Would unintentionally take over Tiktok as one its most popular Tiktokers

He doesn’t know what he’s doing but his visuals made him extremely popular and gain a lot of fans

Inconsistent in posting though

Got into Tiktok because of Bell

Tiktoks are either him dancing ballet or roasting/secretly filming Asta

Does blank face reactions to other people’s Tiktoks as well

Slowly adopts the e-boy look thanks to Bell

Rarely responds to comments unless they’re from close friends

It’s usually short and dry

Has a secret stan account dedicated to Asta

Mimosa

‘Flowercrown0826’  (Online name)

Can scroll through Pinterest for hours

Loves nature and flower aesthetics 🌸🌸🌸

Neatly organizes them into separate boards

Also has an instagram account dedicated to her gardening

Likes to post selfies of her cute outfits but doesn’t show her face

Likes to post pictures of handmade flower crowns

Is very sweet when she comments on other people’s posts

Lowkey roasts others when she comments though

‘Wow! Those thick glasses match your big nose!😊💘 ’

Has a private account dedicated to pictures of her friends and family

Has a secret stan account dedicated to Asta

Leopold

‘FLAMINGLIONKING’  (Online name)

He thought this name sounded cool af

He’s wild online

He’s always doing dangerous stunts on camera and gets scolded by Fuegoleon afterwards

‘Parkour!’

Posts them on tiktok and snapchat

Also likes to post videos of his baseball practice and workout

He’s always hyping up his friends whenever they post a selfie or video

‘YOU LOOK GREAT🔥🔥🔥!!!’ ‘HAHAHA🔥🔥🔥!!’

Loves the fire emoji so much

Has an account dedicated to Fuegoleon

The true Fuegoleon stan

But he also has a blatant stan account dedicated to Asta

[thistreasurehunter]

Outer Banks: Reality TV AU

Okay, this was supposed to be a quick little imagine/headcanon, but it kind of got away from me… I actually feel like I’ve just experienced an entire season of Big Brother in the last 30 mins while I was writing this! (The images above are from Pinterest)

*********************************************************************

Okay, but imagine if they all met on a reality TV show instead. Big Brother, for instance…

VTs + entrances:

JJ would be set up by the show as the sexy one that all the girls are going to love – a 2D dumb hottie.

He’d love his entrance, grinning and waving and high-fiving the cheering audience.

And Pope’s VT makes him sound like a bit of a straight-laced nerd.

And he’s a bit shy on his entrance walk, but he still gets a big cheer.

Sarah and Rafe would come in as a brother and sister duo,

But as separate housemates.

Rafe makes a couple of ~questionable~ comments in his VT and he gets a mixed reaction from the live audience.

Sarah wears a slinky floor length gown and looks amazing as she makes her way in.

Kie mentions sea turtles twice in her VT.

She opts for more of a casual-glam look, but still owns that catwalk as she enters the house.

The Kie/Sarah arc:

Kie and Sarah are framed by the producers as powerful, confident, head-strong women.

So at first, the audience all think they’re going to clash over which one of them gets to become queen bee of the house.

And, to be fair, they do clash a bit to begin with,

Because they’re both so strong-willed and sure of their own mind.

But really, it’s actually all just low-key sexual tension.

Because those girls have the hots for each other!

But they’re both a bit too proud to say anything at first.

Then, slowly, they realise they’ve got so much in common.

And they bond over environmental issues and feminism and convincing their housemates to recycle more.

And they become friends.

Friends who both look really hot in their bikinis when they hang out in the pool or the hot-tub;

And who have long, soft chats late into the night, kind of curled up in the cosy chairs in the garden;

And who often sit with the other’s head in their lap.

And who take turns doing each other’s hair and make-up;

And who talk about how hard it is style different hair types or apply good make-up on a skin tone other than your own, so they teach each other.

Then one night they’d be messing about in the pool, laughing and splashing each other, and suddenly Kie would just lean forwards and kiss Sarah. And Sarah would kiss her back and they’d both be wet and pressed up against each other in their bikinis, and all the cameras would suddenly be pointing at them.

The video of it online would become one of the most watched clips of the show ever and it would go down in BB history.

And then they kind of become an awesome power couple.

And everyone would just know that the house was ruled by two queens.

The JJ/Pope arc:

At the beginning, the audience think JJ and Pope are going to annoy each other. Because they’re just so different: like, stereotypical cautious nerd vs stereotypical reckless jock.

And in the first few days, they don’t spend much time together, because they both did kind of low-key judge the other from a distance too.

But then to spice things up, Big Brother teamed them up together for a task.

And to begin with, they were both so dejected at having to endure the task with the other.

But when they actually started the task they ended up getting along so well.

Like, their personalities complemented each other’s, and they worked really well together.

And they were surprised by how much they could make the other laugh.

And they ended up acing the task.

And then they just sort of… fell into hanging out together.

All the time.

JJ brought out Pope’s fun side and Pope brought out JJ’s sensitive side.

JJ would do something daft, and Pope would join in and they’d both end up creased in laughter.

Or Pope would be a bit sad about something and JJ would be right there, making him feel better.

And their bromance literally became the highlight of every episode.

The entire show, really.

Because everyone just LOVES watching them hanging out, having fun, looking out for each other and just hyping each other up every chance they get.

It was the friendship that shouldn’t have worked, but just did.

And they form a little friendship group with Kie and Sarah. And they all just get along and have a lot of fun together.

One time, one of the other housemates said something mean and unfair to JJ. And JJ was about to get angry in his direction. But then Pope cut in and just verbally took that guy down!

And JJ was just so bewildered, because nobody had ever stood up for him like that before.

And then in letters-from-home week, JJ is happy for everyone, but also a bit sad because he knows he won’t have one – I mean, he knows his dad definitely wouldn’t have bothered.

And Pope asks JJ to read his letter from his parents and it’s beautiful and JJ chokes up a bit and they both hug afterwards and it’s really emotional.

Then just when JJ thinks they’ve finished, there’s one letter left at the bottom of the box, and it’s from his JJ’s BFF from back home – John B.

And Pope reads it out to him, and it’s really lovely and John B tells JJ all the funny things that have happened since he was gone and also that everyone on The Cut is really behind him and JJ is laughing and welling up and just so happy. And all the other housemates – the nice ones – kind of get that this was a big deal for JJ and sort of envelop him in a big group hug, Pope right there in the middle holding him.

And throughout their whole friendship, the camera doesn’t miss the way Pope and JJ look at each other.

And they become the will-they-won’t-they pairing of the series.

They both get asked a ton of leading questions about the other in the Diary Room.

And they get such a huge audience following and end up having a load of fan accounts dedicated to them.

They even get a ship name.

Well, two ship names.

And nobody can really decide which one to use.

But the boys just keep it completely bro-mantic and platonic, to the dismay of the audience.

Even though it’s completely obvious to everyone that they clearly have ~feelings~ for each other.

The Rafe arc:

And, of course, every season has it’s ‘baddies’.

This year it was Rafe and his gang of stuck-up, snobby ‘Kooks’.

Rafe gets a little bit too drunk on the first night and decides to go for a middle-of-the-night swim.

There’s a lot of flexing.

And some of the housemates are a bit wary of him because he comes across as quite unpredictable.

In general, Rafe’s ‘popular group’ are a bit mean to some of the other housemates, particularly JJ, who they keep tormenting,

They try to provoke him into getting so angry he’s removed from the house.

And they keep nominating him for eviction.

But week after week, JJ always survives the public vote.

But then one week he’s up for eviction against the most popular ‘Kook’ housemate and JJ is sure he’s going to leave.

And he’s sad because he knows how much he’s going to miss Pope and his friends in the house.

And on eviction night he can’t keep still and his leg keeps bouncing with nerves.

And the Kook is so over-confident.

Pope, Sarah and Kie all sit around JJ as the results are read out…

And the Kook is evicted and he gets booed when he leaves.

JJ is saved and gets a huge cheer from the audience outside and Pope, Kie and Sarah all pile on top of him in a big group hug.

And Sarah tries to talk to Rafe about cooling it. Telling him to stop being a jerk to everyone, especially JJ.

But it isn’t until Rafe has to do a task with Sarah, Kie, JJ and Pope that it really starts to sink in.

Because the task is really hard and they have to spend quite a bit of time just the five of them in a separate task-room.

And Rafe gets to know the others a bit better and sees how much fun they are and how much nicer they are to be around than the people he hangs out with.

And they all work together and win the luxury shopping budget.

And afterwards, Rafe kind of rejects the ‘popular’ group and starts hanging out with Sarah and the others.

And he just doesn’t tolerate any of his old friends saying anything mean about his new crew.

And so he gets a bit of a redemption arc on the show and the audience go from loving-to-hate him, to just sort of loving him in a he’s-a-bit-flawed-but-aren’t-we-all kind of way.

The Final:

Rafe, Sarah, Kie, Pope and JJ all make it to the final.

John B is in the front row of the audience with a massive sign that just says “JJPope Nation”.

And it’s really emotional when they say goodbye to the house.

Because they all know how life-changing the last couple of months have been.

Rafe’s exit interview is intense – he’s grilled about his change in attitude and he gets a bit emotional. He explains how eye-opening the experience was and how he want to move forwards as a better person and the audience all fall in love with him a little bit.

And Kie and Sarah both look incredible and work that catwalk as they leave.

In their interviews they both get asked a lot about that first kiss…

But the girls are more interested in talking about equality and sexuality politics.

And that just end up solidifying their new roles as LGBTQ icons.

Pope and JJ are the final two.

And as they wait for the final result, they just sit on the sofas a little in shock because neither of them ever expected that they could get this far.

And they both think the other deserves to win much more than they do.

And just before they get the results, Pope takes hold of JJ’s hand.

And when the winner is announced they both just hold onto each other and end up sobbing into each other’s shoulders, because they’re just so happy and shell-shocked.

And when they finally exit the house they both get such deafening cheers and they can’t keep the smiles off their faces.

And their Best Bits videos are amazing, because it’s basically like a montage of their whole friendship.

Their funny, chaotic, sweet, intense, glorious friendship.

And of course they get asked about whether there’s anything more between them than friendship.

And they’re both really evasive.

And they just cannot believe they have fan sites!

And the after-party is loud and wild and brilliant and lasts all night.

Afterwards:

Rafe has redeemed himself in the public eye and ends up being universally loved by the female audience.

After the show, he does a series of work-out videos that become hugely popular.

He also becomes a regular guest on TV panel shows.

After the show ends Sarah and Kie start their own ethical, environmentally friendly beauty brand and later add a fashion line.

They make sure they promote true representation and employ models of all ethnicities and body types, showing girls everywhere what true beauty looks like.

With some of the proceeds of their company, they set up a number of charities that focus on environmental and humanitarian projects all over the world.

And they live their best lives, knowing they’re helping make the world a better place.

After the first wave of interviews and photo shoots die down, JJ and Pope both sort of fall out of the public eye.

There’s still a lot of speculation about them.

And the fan sites never really give up on the ship.

They both occasionally post things to their Instagrams,

JJ mainly posts photos of the ocean or his surf board,

And Pope posts food shots and inspirational quotes.

Occasionally a photo shows up of them hanging out at one of Kie and Sarah’s glitzy fashion events.

And Rafe once posted a photo of the old BB gang, and also John B, in a bar somewhere. They were all crammed into the shot. But JJ and Pope were sitting really close, JJ’s arm slung over Pope’s shoulder.

That photo ended up getting a lot of likes.

And then a few years after the show ended, Pope posts a photo of a heart drawn in the sand with the letters P + J inside.

And then at almost the exact same moment, JJ posts a close up photo of Pope’s hand resting on his own, their golden wedding rings shining.

And so many people like the photos at the exact same moment the boys temporarily break the internet.

[lindberghtm]

          *  .  desirée lindbergh was spotted in the fashion district adorning prada platform chelsea boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to you know i'm no good by amy winehouse . you may know them as @desi or as that aisha potter  lookalike . their twenty first birthday just passed . while living in the upper east side  , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be duplicitous but on the other hand reliable . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cis female / she/her + c / 21+ / she/her )   .  

         hey  !!!!!!  i  was  planning  on  coming  thru  with  a  cool  intro  to  establish  myself  as  a ~ cool ~  person , but  covid  has  absolutely  ✨ decimated  ✨  my  social  skills  so  ,,,,,,,  this  is  what  im  left  with  .  anywho  hi  i’m  c  (  short  for  clown  tbfh  )  ,  im  21+  ,  from  the  rainy  ole’  pnw  ,  &  i  use  she / her  pronouns  .  i  was  in  wealthy  like  , , , ,  AGES  ago  &  tbh  i’ve  been  missing  it  real  bad  lately  so  here  i  am  with  a  brand  new  bitch  , , , , ,  ms  .  desi  lindbergh  🖤  i  just  finished  reading  the  girl  with  the  dragon  tattoo  so  you’ll  find  elements  from  that  novel  in  my  biography  like  the  names  ,  & the  general  ‘ company  comes  first ‘  &  ‘  no  one  gets  a  divorce  in  this  family ’  attitudes  .  but  hennyway  here’s  a  pinterest  board  ,  &  my  discord  is  𝐌 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁#1264  (  the  best  tiktok  song  imo  )  .  my  bio  is  rambly  but  there  are  stats  at  the  top  ,  personality  &  wanted  connections  (  inc  .  this  sideblog  w  wanted  plots  )  at  the  bottom  !  xoxo

*  .  stats  .

full  name : desirée  ‘ desi ’  charlotte  lindbergh - montenegro

age : twenty - two

gender : cis  female

pronouns : she / her  

pob ; current  home : london  ,  england  ;  current  residence  in  tribeca  .

family : henrik  lindbergh  (  80  ,  deceased  ,  ceo  of  lindbergh  corporation  )  ;  miriam  montenegro  (  46  ,  lives  in  the  upper  east  side & london  ,  supermodel  turned  vindictive  widow  )  ;  no  siblings  or  pets  .

birthday : september  2  ,  1998  ;  virgo  sun  ,  taurus  moon  ,  cancer  rising .

career : heiress / model / daddy’s credit card swiper  .

drinking / drugs / smoking :  yes / no / occasionally .  

physical : aisha  potter  fc ,  dark  brown  mid - length  hair  ,  dark  brown  eyes  ,  no  tattoos  ,  two  ear  lobe  piercings  in  each  ear  ,  5 ′ 6 ″ .

*  .  character biography .

1998  : miriam  montenegro  ,  an  english  model  coming  from  a  humble  background  ,  made  it  big  when  she  was  scouted  for  runway  shows  ,  eventually  making  her  way  to  being  a  household  name  .  by  the  age  of  twenty  five  ,  she’d  found  love  (  or  ,  financial  comfort  ,  rather  )  with  the  fifty  nine  year  old  henrik  lindbergh  ,  a  swedish  business  magnate  whose  involvement  in  global  industrialization  spanned  far  wider  than  the  european  economy  .  the  relationship  took  the  world  by  surprise  ,  miriam’s  friends  being  far  more  involved  in  pop  culture  than  an  aged  man  .  while  she  claims  it  was  love  ,  the  world  had  already  made  up  its  mind  on  her  motive  —  money  .

the  pair  got  married  six  months  after  they  initially  became  involved  , & desi  was  born  a  year  after  .  her  father  ,  the  product  of  the  ‘  silent  generation  ‘  ,  was  of  the  impression  that  children  should  be  seen  ,  not  heard  ,  an  outdated  idea  that  her  mother  was  comfortable  abiding  by  .  desirée  ,  by  association  ,  quickly  became  accustomed  to  the  spotlight  ,  the  interest  in  the  uncommon  relationship  between  miriam & henrik  only  growing  after  the  birth  of  their  sole  child  .  desi  grew  up  a  prop  ,  a  toy  for  her  mother  to  dress  up  in  matching  outfits & parade  on  the  global  stage  ,  before  stepping  behind  closed  doors  &  forgetting  about  the  child  entirely  .  this  led  to  desi  being  raised  almost  exclusively  by  nannies  ,  her  mother  more  interested  in  savouring  the  last  of  her  youth & her  father  too  busy  with  his  international  duties  .    originally  based  in  london  ,  the  family  moved  to  new  york  when  desirée  was  starting  her  schooling  to  be  closer  to  the  hustle & bustle  of  american  life  .

2017  : desirée  is  graduating  high  school  a  year  early  after  having  been  sent  to  institut  auf  dem  rosenberg  ,  a  swiss  private  school  that  prides  itself  on  being  highly  exclusive∫ˆ  highly  expensive  .  the  name  was  a  selling  point  for  her  father  ,  but  more  importantly  she  would  be  safe & out  of  the  way  on  another  continent  while  her  parents  bickered  ceaselessly  .  desirée  found  herself  to  be  nothing  special  at  rosenberg  ,  her  identity  having  been  formed  on  the  idea  that  public  exposure  equated  to  popularity  ;  without  the  constant  public  eye  while  at  school  ,  desi  found  a  freedom & lightness  she  hadn’t  before  experienced  .  she  could  be  real  , & have  real  friends  , & not  be  putting  on  a  fake  smile  to  allude  an  air  of  comfort  .  most  of  all  ,  she  could  get  away  from  her  spiteful  mother  ,  who  ,  once  desi  hit  puberty  ,  saw  her  as  a  threat  to  her  own  beauty  ,  success  , & public  popularity  .  being  sent  to  private  school  was  the  best  thing  to  happen  to  desi & her  mother’s  relationship  .

after  graduating  ,  desirée  moved  back  to  new  york  city  ,  moving  back  into  the  expansive  upper  east  side  apartment  , & being  sure  to  move  into  a  room  on  the opposite side  of  the  home  from  her  parents  .  being  thrust  back  into  the  spotlight  ,  a  ‘  homecoming  ‘  of  sorts  that  her  mother  capitalized  on  ,  desi  fell  into  a  depression  .  she  feared  leaving  the  house  ,  she  feared  that  people  would  only  want  to  be  her  friend  in  order  to  access  the  family’s  wealth  (  a  seed  of  an  idea  planted  in  her  father  at  the  age  of  twelve  ,  when  she  was  told  there  was  to  be  no  dating  unless  their  family’s  net  worth  was  over  500  million  )  .  soon  enough  ,  though  ,  desi  made  the  choice  to  get  in  contact  with  her  mother’s  rival  modeling  agency  ,  inquiring  about  the  possibility  about  modeling  .  they  ,  of  course  ,  welcomed  the  legacy  with  open  arms  ;  her  mother  ,  however  ,  decided  that  this  deceipt  would  not  be  tolerated  under  her  roof  , & kicked  desi  out  as  soon  as  she’d  heard  .  desi  called  her  father  crying  ,  explaining  the  situation  over  the  phone  ,  who  immediately  created  a  separate  bank  account  of  her  own  for  desi  ,  secretly  hidden  away  in  an  overseas  bank  to  avoid  her  mother  finding  out  .  the  account  held  far  more  than  desirée  needed  ,  but  it  was  her  father  who  enabled  her  to  get  back  on  her  feet  ,  find  her  own  home  , & start  a  career  for  herself  .  

2020 : desirée  hardly  speaks  to  her  mother  ,  though  they  keep  up  the  public  illusion  that  they  are  as  close  as  a  mother  -  daughter  duo  can  be  .  her  father  though  ,  now  80  years  old  ,  was  actually  close  with  desi  ,  the  two  catching  up  daily & him  celebrating  her  accomplishments  she  believed  were  self  -  earned  .  in  october  ,  though  ,  she  received  a  phone  call  from  her  father’s  attorney  ,  mr.  berger  ,  who  informed  her  that  henrik  was  in  the  hospital  in  critical  condition  after  a  heart  attack  .  she  flew  to  stockholm  ,  where  her  father  had  been  taking  care  of  business  items  , & realized  that  it  was  time  to  say  her  goodbyes  .  her  father & her  played  chess  ,  talked  about  her  childhood  , & reconciled  on  any  old  issues  .  he  passed  away  three  days  after  she’d  arrived  .  seeming  as  if  he’d  been  able  to  tell  something  horrible  was  coming  ,  henrik  had  updated  his  will  a  matter  of  weeks  before  the  heart  attack  ,  naming  desiree  as  the  sole  inheritor  of  all  his  assets & belongings  .  except  ,  of  course  ,  her  mother  ,  who  inherited  a  whopping  five  dollars  from  her  husband  .  this  was  ,  mr  .  berger  explained  to  desi  ,  so  that  miriam  could  not  claim  that  she  had  accidentally  been  left  out  , & was  entitled  to  more  of  his  estate  .  

if  this  wasn’t  enough  ,  the  press  soon  released  that  interntional  business  mogul  henrik  lindbergh  had  passed  away  , & the  companies  he  owned  were  now  owned  by  a  twenty  one  year  old  model  who  had  never  truly  worked  one  day  in  her  life  .  to  make  matters  worse  ,  her  mother  quickly  played  the  victim  ,  launching  a  multitude  of  lawsuits  against  her  own  daughter  for  defamation & coercing  her  father  to  leave  her  mother  out  of  it  .  berger  quickly  chose  desirée’s  side  ,  though  he  couldn’t  become  her  personal  attorney  out  of  conflict  of  interest  with  the  executing  of  the  will  .  as  the  accounts  lie  in  limbo  during  the  legal  battle  ,  desi  is  relying  solely  on  the  secret  account  her  father  made  her  in  switzerland  ;  if  her  mother  knew  ,  she  would  try  to  go  after  it  ,  as  well  .  

2021 :  desirée  has  layed  low  over  the  last  few  months  ,  her  mother  continuing  her  public  display  of  heartache  as  the  widow  .  desi  can  be  said  to  be  two  -  faced  due  to  her  sweet  disposition  one  day & her  cold  attitude  the  next  .  in  reality  ,  she  is  normally  kind & thoughtful  ,  giving  the  benefit  of  the  doubt  to  those  two  wrong  her  ,  but  lately  she  has  become  more  withdrawn  ,  secretive  , & volatile  .  she  was  recently  photographed  in  a  restaurant  ,  crying  on  the  phone  with  her  head  in  her  hand  ,  something  she  would  never  normally  allow  to  happen  .  overall  ,  though  ,  she  doesn't  want  to  speak  publicly  about  the  legal  battle  because  she  considers  it  a  delicate  matter  &  wants  to  take  the  high  road  .  because  of  this  ,  she  puts  on  a  face  that  she's  happy  ,  has  done  her  mourning  ,  &  intentionally  does  things  to  make  it  seem  like  life  is  normal  ,  like  making  appearances  at  events  about  new  york  city  &  being  spotted  hanging  out  with  friends  .  only  a  very  small  handful  in  her  inner  circle  notice  the  immense  stress  she's  under  because  she's  good  at  managing  it  ,  &  doesn't  want  to  be  pitied  .

*  .  personality  .

personality  wise  ,  she  is  quite  bubbly  ,  thoughtful  ,  dependable  ,  observant  ,  calm  , &  chooses  her  words  carefully  .  on  the  other  hand  ,  she  can  be  very  hot  &  cold  ,  self - isolating  ,  two  -  faced  , & tells  blatant  lies  when  she  ought  not  to  ,  &  denies  vehemently  when  others  call  her  on  her  bs  .  she’s  the  type  to  remember  someone  saying  they  like  something  ,  in  passing  ,  then  suddenly  she  shows  up  with  that  exact  thing  when  she  sees  them  next  .  her  love  language  is  definitely  gifts  &  acts  of  service  .  considers  herself  a  good  advice  giver  but  won’t  take  any  advice  others  give  her  .  kind  of  an  air  head  ,  in  that  she  can  get  so  wrapped  up  in  her  own  world  that  she  forgets  that  others  aren’t  just  npc’s  in  her  life  sfjklsd  .  can  get  overwhelmed  easily  ,  &  retracts  back  into  herself  &  isolates  in  her  apartment  for  days  on  end  ,  pampering  herself  with  huge  shopping  sprees  ,  overpriced  face  masks  ,  &  too  much  champagne  .  her  way  to  deal  with  problems  is  to  pretend  they’re  not  there  until  eventually  they  go  away  🤡

the  world  knows  the  bulk  of  the  lindbergh  -  montenegro  affair  ,  as  its  known  in  the  media  ,  thanks  to  her  mother  taking  interviews  left  & right  to  allude  to  her  being  snubbed  by  her  own  daughter  .  desi  pretends  that  it  does  not  bother  her  ,  that  justice  will  be  served  & that  legality  will  prevail  over  her  mother’s  cries  ,  but  the  weight  of  the  affair  is  taking  a  toll  on  her  .  

*  .  wanted  plots  .  

click  here  for  sideblog  with  wanted  plots  !

best  friend / ride  or  die  :  someone  desi’s  been  friends  with  for  YEARS  ,  knows  all  her  family’s  bs  ,  prob  has  called  her  mother  a  b*tch  to  her  face  dflkjsdkl  .  literally  the  nicole  to  her  paris  ,  the  lorelai  to  her  rory  .  

squad  :  a  group  of  friends  who  go  clubbing  every  saturday  &  get  brunch  &  gossip  the  next  morning  ,  have  shady  nicknames  in  their  gc  ,  have  designated ‘ roles ’  in  the  friend  group  (  mom  friend  ,  the  cr*ckhead  ,  the  wingperson  ,  etc  .  ) ,  go  on  trips  together  ,  have  the  wildest  birthday  parties  ,  etc  .  please  !!  

first  love  :  this  would’ve  been  in  their  teens  ,  a  summer  fling  that  she  fell  hard  for  &  who  her  father  didn’t  approve  of  bc  he’s  business - minded  first  .  they  tried  to  do  long  distance  when  she  went  back  to  school  in  the  fall  ,  but  it  didn’t  work  out  &  now  they’re  either  on  good  terms  &  have  sweet  memories  of  that  time  ,  or  one  is  still  kinda  salty  how  things  ended  .

bad  influence  :  encourages  desi  to  get  the  stick  out  of  her  *ss  ,  &  when  she  hangs  out  with  them  ,  they  tend  to  go  overboard  on  whatever  the  entertainment  of  the  night  may  be  . 

friends  to  lovers / slow - burn  romance  :  they’re  friends  first  ,  but  there’s  been  undeniable  romantic  tension  between  the  two  of  them  (  imagine  pope  towards  kiara  in  obx  )  ,  &  their  friends  can pick  up  on  it  .  they’ve  never  acted  on  it  , worried  of  ruining  the  friendship  ,  but  they’re  always  a  lil  disappointed  when  the  other  goes  home  with  or  gets  involved  with  someone  else  ,  but  are  ultimately  there  to  pick  up  the  pieces  afterwards  .

enemies  /  mutual  dislike  :  maybe  someone  whose  family  her  father  screwed  in  business  ,  their  parents  could  have  been  friends  before  desi’s  mom  turned  on  them  somehow  ,  they  think  desi  thinks  she’s  queen  of  the  world  ,  etc . let’s  plan  it  out  hehe

cheating  :  oop  !  i  love  the  angst  ,  so  gimme  someone  who  either  a  )  cheated  on  desi  ,  or  b  )  they  think  she  cheated  on  them  due  to  some  tabloid  article  ,  rumor  around  town  she  was  seen  with  someone  ,  etc .  their  relationship  was  prob  rocky  as  fuck  ,  toxic  ,  &  lacked  trust  &  communication  .  just  a  total  shit  show  tbh  .

that’s  all  i  can  think  of  now  dskljfkl  please  feel  free  to  reach  out  over  tumblr  msgs  or  on  discord  !  

[themetaphorgirl]

what was the last thing each of the psolc gang posted on their social media (and can you pleeeaseee include haley, even thought she's technically not really part of the gang yet because i love how she's so casual about calling hotch aaron!!! and smitten hotch is the cutest thing like no, it is not lyme disease sweeties)

David: his mother tagged him in like eight Minions memes on Facebook. he posted a reply that was basically like ISABELLA STOP IT I WILL BLOCK YOU

James: scrolls through TIkTok for hours. he keeps filming his own and then deleting them.

Alex: updated her goodreads. she read like...six books this weekend.

Hotch: doesn’t realize that he’s in like...all of Haley’s Instagram posts. and half of Penelope’s TikToks. has a secret angsty twitter account.

Emily: just realized that there’s a lot of snapchats on her story that she took at the party she went to last weekend and she could d e f i n i t e l y get in a lot of trouble over them

Derek: an Instagram video of him lifting weights during football practice and showing off

JJ: has a carefully curated collection of Pinterest boards. she’s definitely going to redo her room when she goes home for Christmas break.

Penelope: jumps back and forth between her fandom tumblr and her TikToks. Both are thriving. keeps begging people to let her teach them dances. Derek’s pretty good at picking them up. 

Spencer: doesn’t really use social media, but Penelope keeps showing him YouTube videos of Vine compilations and he’s having a great time

Haley: sweet angel baby. has one of the most popular Instagrams at St. Thaddeus. definitely stole Hotch’s hoodie and took a picture of herself at practice wearing it over her cheer uniform.

[beatricvs]

☾ * ✶ * —  the eldest sibling of the DU PONT family , 

                                       béatrice sévérine ,  

                                                           is xxi years old and is known by the codename nyx ! 

hi ! this is a mess. i’m so sorry, this is still a major work in progress but i hope some of it makes sense for now rip. 

full name :  béatrice sévérine du pont nickname(s) : bea , birdie , buzzy bea age :  twenty one     dob :  november 11  ( ya girl is a scorpio ! wink wonk )  place  of  birth :  paris , france origins : saint-nom-la-bretèche , france   languages  spoken :  english ,  french ,  ( swiss ) german , arabic , russian

some ( lowkey incomprehensible ) background : 

honestly … béatrice is wacky, maniacal, kooky, unhinged — take your pick ! she fits the bill for almost any derogatory term you can think up 

a lot of what bea does is purely ‘ because she can ’ like there is really no method to her madness 

she’s perverse to a fault. she will do the exact opposite of what’s appropriate just to get a rise out of those around her

very , very disinhibited. it’s not always clear if you’re living in the same world as she is , head in the ( thunder ) clouds 99.9% of the time

it’s impossible to control béatrice , if she doesn’t want to do something it’s most definitely not happening

on the other hand, when she wants to do something , she R E A L L Y wants to do it

pretty much ‘ girls just wanna have fun ’ by cindy lauper personified

extremely violent. this cannot be stressed enough. she should really come with a sign reading ‘ do not touch ’ — she will fly into a fit of rage in the blink of an eye

she’s been this way for as long as she can remember.  a very precocious yet bellicose child … like, this girl killed her pets just for the hell of it

gets bored very quickly & easily , which is often when she’s at her most unpredictable 

flighty and non committal. in fact in her entire life, she’s probably only ever committed to her love of paris , violence ,  and black pigalles

despite being a pretty awful person , she has a strange ability to charm when she feels like it ( a bit hit & miss honestly )

she really doesn’t care about lineage, bloodline etc. in her opinion, there are far more fascinating things than who someone’s long-dead ancestors are

in the same vein , money isn’t of much interest to her ( probably because she’s , ya know , rich rich ) 

also ... still a human being ?? she is capable of moments of deep vulnerability. gets debilitatingly sad sometimes for no apparent reason

scared of heights and busy roads :( 

i think béatrice can feel very disconnected from other people , mostly because she sees the world so uniquely , and that contributes both to her lack of empathy and her periods of melancholy

very faithful towards & protective of the people she loves ( the list is short , no.1 definitely goes to her little sister izzy ) but often ends up being more hindrance than help, no matter how hard she may try 

headcanons : 

has an enviable car collection & loves street racing

during her senior year of high school , bea was voted most likely to have an interpol ‘ red notice ’ issued against her

went to art school for a hot second because she thought it sounded romantic , but despised both it and her classmates. decided to double major w/ philosophy instead

her signature fragrance is baccarat rouge 540

ironically has a semi - popular tiktok account

lowkey ( uh , highkey ? ) convinced that ghosts , aliens , etc. exist

very much inspired by villanelle, beth harmon, harley quinn, and bertha from jane eyre

chaotic evil 4 sure

joined olympus N O T because she cares a jot about the society , but because she wanted to piss off her parents by ‘ stealing ’ their money

loves karaoke & is always singing in the shower

in particular , she loves classical music. grew up playing piano, harp, and cello. her favourite composer is definitely rachmaninoff

this is her pinterest & her playlist 

[lovemesomesurveys]

an internet/social media survey. 1 - Are you one of those people who shares absolutely everything on social media? What do you think about those who do? I do tend to overshare in surveys and I share quite a bit on Twitter. I’m pretty quiet on my other social media sites, though, in terms of that. It only bugs me when people share something and then someone asks about it and they’re like, “I don’t want to share it on here” or “I don’t want to talk about it.” You just did, though? Why post about it then? Plus, my nosy ass wants to know haha. I see that all the time on Facebook.

2 - Does anyone in "real life" know that you take surveys? Would you be embarrassed if they found your blog? I don’t think so. Back in the Myspace days people knew cause I posted them there, but no one in “real life” follows me on here. I’m surprised I shared those back then cause I don’t want anyone to see them now. Although, I wasn’t as open back then in surveys. I took the more basic ones and didn’t elaborate like I do now.

3 - When you receive a text message, do you reply straight away or wait a little while instead? It depends.

4 - Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Did you have an argument that lead to that happening? I don’t recall. It was probably some spam account on here.

5 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you spend the most time on? I spend a lot of time on YouTube. 

6 - What was the first social media account you remember signing up for? Are you still a member of that particular website, if it even still exists? Ooh. I’ve had an online and social media presence for so long... like it was probably something that doesn’t even exist now.  I remember some teen sites I was on that I guess were like the social medias of the day. For example, there was this one website I remember called Kiwibox, where you could interact with other people, post stuff, and it shared like trending topics and whatnot that I was a member of in the early 2000s. It was pre-Myspace. I don’t think it even exists now, but if it did I’m sure my account was deleted long ago for being inactive. 

7 - How many social media accounts do you have now? Do you use them all regularly? If not, which ones do you think you update the most and why? I’m on all the common ones. I use them all, but I’m more active on some than others. Some I check regularly but rarely post. For instance, I’m super active on here and I post on Twitter quite a bit. I check Facebook a few times a day and “like” some stuff, but I very rarely post. I check Instagram and Snapchat, but not daily and I rarely post or even interact on there. I spend the least amount of time on those two.

8 - Are there are any popular apps/social media sites that you've never got into or signed up for? How come? Hmm. Like I said, I have all the main ones I think.

9 - Do you take surveys on any other website apart from Tumblr? Nope. 

10 - Before Tumblr existed, what kind of blogging site did you use (eg. LiveJournal, Xanga etc.). I had a Xanga and LJ account. 

11 - Is there anything you miss about websites like MySpace, or do you prefer social media the way it is now? The Myspace days were interesting that’s for sure. I miss the hype of changing up my page and adding stuff, picking my profile song, rearranging my top 8, changing my display name, follow forever trains, comment 4 comments... haha what a ride.

12 - How old were you when you first got the internet at home? Was it broadband/wireless or did you use dial-up? I remember it wasn’t long after my brother was born, so it was sometime in 1999. I remember when my mom brought home our first computer. Those were the days of dial up/AOL. Gah, I do not miss that. 

13 - Are you old enough to remember life without any kind of internet access whatsoever? What kind of things did you do to fill the time? Ha, yeah. It’s crazy to think of the days before the internet, but I did have them. I actually used to play outside *gasp* That’s shocking cause ya’ll know I’m a hermit crab. I used to get so tan back then cause I spent so much time outside. Other things I used to do was play Barbies for hours, play with my cousins, read, color, and watch TV.

14 - Have you ever gotten into an argument with a stranger online before? Lol yeah.

15 - Overall, would you say social media is a good thing or a bad thing, or does it depend on how you choose to use it? It definitely has its pros and cons. There’s a dark side to social media and the internet in general, but a lot of good can be done with it as well. 

16 - How much time do you think you spend online each day? Is this something that varies depending on the weather? I spend a decent amount of time online for sure, but it does vary. The weather has absolutely nothing to do with it. 

17 - If your internet went off right now and you knew it wouldn't come back on for several hours, what would you go and do instead? Well, it’s 3:50AM so I’d watch some TV and attempt to go to bed.

18 - Since getting the internet, what's the longest period of time you've gone without access to it? Did you miss it as much as you thought you might? Probably the times I had surgery. I didn’t have to go completely without because once I was able to I was able to rent laptops that were available for patient use or access a computer while there. That was really nice during the couple times I had to spend a few months in the hospital. Even the shorter stays, like a week or two, I had some access at some point. But yeah, I definitely wasn’t on nearly as much during those times. Not at all the first few days/week. Then when I was back home and had my laptop I still wouldn’t feel up to spending much online. I did miss it, but I spent so much time resting and sleeping during the early stages of recovery so it was fine for awhile. I did start to get stir crazy, though.

19 - What's something you find yourself doing less of because you spend too much time online? Hm. I can’t think of anything I do less for that particular reason. 

20 - What websites do you spend the most time on? Do these fall into any particular category or are they just random? Tumblr, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter.

21 - What website from your childhood/teen years do you wish still existed? I miss Xanga a lot. The survey community was poppin back then. I miss the days, not so much the websites themselves, of Myspace, Neopets, playing games on Disney Channel’s and Nickelodeon’s websites, making dolls, and the AOL teen message boards. Good times, good times. Much nostalgia. 

22 - Have you ever met up with anyone in real life that you first met via the internet? Did you get on as well as you thought you would? Nope. I had online friends back in the day that I talked to all the time and actually texted with. I even talked to them on the phone a couple times. :O That was during my Jonas Brothers days and I got close to a few people that I met through a Jonas Brothers’ message board and chatroom. I was pretty involved on there. I can’t believe I used to do that cause I wouldn’t do that now.

23 - What's your thoughts on internet dating and is it something you would ever consider for yourself? I probably wouldn’t do it myself, but hey if that works for people then go for it. *shrug*

24 - Do you tend to shop more online or in person? Is that something that's changed since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic? I do all my shopping online now since the pandemic hit, but even for a few years prior I was doing most of my shopping online. 

25 - Speaking of the pandemic, did you find all the stories on social media quite scary or overwhelming at the beginning? Absolutely. 

26 - If someone on social media annoys or upsets you, are you likely to tell them or just hit the hide/block buttons? Nah, I’ll just keep on scrolling. If it’s that bad then I’d likely mute or just delete. 

27 - Are there topics you won't post on social media about, simply because they always end up in an argument? I don’t post about politics. 

28 - Are you friends with your parents and family members online? Do you limit what you say because you know they can see it? Yes and yes. Like, even though I don’t post anything bad or risqué lol I still hide some stuff from my grandparents just because they wouldn’t get it, ya know? I’ve done that before and my Nana called my dad and asked if I was okay cause I posted some relatable self-deprecating meme or something haha. It’s sweet of course that she cares, but yeah I didn’t want her to get worried and concerned over stuff like that.

29 - Are you using the internet for anything else except this survey right now? I’m watching ASMR videos on YouTube as well.

30 - Do you access the internet more via a phone, tablet or laptop/PC? Which device do you prefer overall? I use my phone a lot for certain things and my laptop for others. Like, I much prefer the Facebook and Twitter apps, and I access Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, the Kindle app, and my email on my phone as well. I use both for YouTube. I only like to access Tumblr on my laptop, though, as well as Pinterest.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya  /  and i don't need ya  /  don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya  /  it's not your fault that you're always wrong  /  the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.