#she got a boyfriend now and completely ignores all us friends? and then gets mad we stopped talking to her??

[berrieluv]

academic rival!Remus Lupin x reader.

oh, the "who did this to you" trope, my beloved.

None of you knew how it started, and if someone ever dares to ask Remus would most likely groan at them, he didn't understood your dynamic.

He felt that nauseous feeling grow in him when you would get a slightly better note than him, even when it was the same note but your assignment got to be praised by the teachers.

You liked it. You needed the motivation and the competition to stay on top. Some people liked Quidditch, others joined the chess team, you and Remus created a rivalry to get through the school days.

Remus and you have never actually be friends. You liked James and Sirius, you thought they were funny, and in any situation you could imagine yourself dating Sirius, you shared a funny dynamic where you both would flirt. But the competition with Remus' took most of your time, it was almost as if he was your actual boyfriend.

Now that you think about it, you spent most of your time with Remus, or thinking about him, or thinking on defeating him. Your thoughts were 80% Remus Lupin and actually just a 20% school.

Now, in the last party before summer vacation, you both thought of taking a rest. No ditching your friends because you were busy studying, no "I can't drink, I have school tomorrow" anymore.

Just you, Remus and a ridiculous amount of butter beer. And of course, a lot of students as well, but Remus felt like it was only you and him right there.

You looked gorgeous. Remus thinks he never had any chance to look at you this way, to think of you as the most beautiful woman in the room. He knew you were pretty, he may hate you but he wasn't blind. He could see why Sirius had a thing for you. But now, in that exact moment, Remus couldn't take his eyes off you.

You were wearing jeans and a revealing blouse. Classy but somehow informal at the same time, Remus thought that maybe the shoes complete the outfit. That and your tide up hair, he wondered how much it took you to style it like that, he knew there was a lot of effort on the way you tried to make your hair look messy. It was a specific kind of messy you liked.

"Hey, Remus!"

He smiled at the girl who sat by his side, he didn't want to be rude, he was a gentleman, but his mind was killing him to turn around and watch you.

The girl in front of him was pretty, she was funny and she could keep up with any topic Remus would mention, she was well spoken and her body behaved in a way that was almost royalty-like, but he couldn't stop thinking about you, standing just a few steps for him, all that would take was to turn around.

"Remus, are you listening to me?"

No, he wasn't.

"No, sorry, love. What was it?"

She never got mad, not when Remus lost the track of the conversation or when he finally looked behind his back. To his misfortune, you weren't there anymore.

A few hours passed, the first girl was now long-forgotten and Remus was just sitting on the couch listening to Dorcas and Marlene talk about something and occasionally turning to ask him as well.

He felt his body on alert mode when he saw you again. It was around 1:00 a.m., if he was counting right, it was around three hours where he spent without seeing you.

Your face looked in panic. Your arms where hugging your body and your hair was in a different way than before, your lipstick also disappeared and he knew that sad smile way too well to ignore that something happened.

He excused himself from the girls and got up, making all the way to you, touching your arm only to feel you flinching at it, he frowned, because yes, you could say were enemies, but Remus has touch you many times, you could say you were used to it, and not once have you flinch.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes"

But your eyes were filled with tears now and you felt so embarrassed, of what happened and for crying in front of all this people. You hided your face on Remus chest, trying to stop people from seeing you cry, Remus started to move his body a bit so it looked like the two of you were slow dancing, even when the music was nothing like that.

Remus took you upstairs, it was James' home after all, he could do whatever he pleases there.

He sat you on Sirius' couch, in his room and looked at you better, with the lights fully on. There were wounds in your arms, the kind of wounds the nails cause when they're drowning in the skin.

Remus tried to touch your face and you pulled back with an 'ouch', there was no visible marks but he could tell your left cheek was sore comparing to the right one.

"Who did this to you?"

He didn't know why he was so mad – Well, he knew if it was any other girl he could try tot help too –. He didn't know why he wanted to kill, why the Moony part of him felt like waking up when they were so far from the full moon.

You couldn't speak, you didn't knew his name, you only saw a Gryffindor pin in his jacket before he took it off.

"He was blonde" You say with tears in your eyes, not exactly sure why you felt so comforted right there with Remus, you wanted that asshole to suffer. You wanted him to cry, you wanted him to know how it feels to have someone doing things to your body without you wanting them, without you being able to stop it. "He was a Gryffindor"

And it's not like there's only one blonde Gryffindor in Hogwarts, but he knew one that would do exactly something like this.

"Stay here, I don't want you downstairs"

"He didn't... he didn't got far!" You yell before he could exit the door "He just tried, he, he couldn't take off my clothes, completely, he just tried. Nothing happened. I'm overreacting" You said with tears in your eyes, you felt ashamed, you were dirty now.

"More than enough happened" Remus walked away from the door and kneeled in front of you, kissed your knee and looked at you "Now stay here. I don't want you downstairs, alright?"

How could he not know who it was? It was the same blonde Gryffindor who called you 'Remus' little bitch' once, the same man who said out loud in a boys' night at the common room how you were one of the main girls he fantasized about, how he wanted, no, needed, to have you in any way he could.

Remus felt sick at the memory. He remember how the words twisted his stomach back then and he remember doing nothing, one of his Housemates was expressing out loud how he would even come in terms on raping if necessary and he did nothing.

"Remus, I've been looking for you" Sirius says, hanging from his shoulder and walking at Remus' speed once he didn't stop; "Where're we going?"

The boy didn't answer, he couldn't, his tooth were clenching he felt like he could break them at any moment. And the second he saw those blonde hairs and that cocky face he didn't doubt for a moment on throwing the first punch.

Sirius would always tell the story, and he would always mention he swears he has never feel sober up as fast as he did that day.

The alcohol evaporated from his system.

"Mate, what the... what is wrong with you?"

"You know what you did" Remus answers, caressing his fist with his other hand and looking at Tom, ready to kill him at any moment.

"Oh" He chuckled "You mean what I did... to your little girlfriend?"

You were not his girlfriend, but Remus didn't think necessary to point it out now, in fact, he sort of liked the thought of that. He would come to terms with that later.

"She wanted it tho... She was throwing herself at me like a bitch in heat"

And Remus threw another punch. He didn't even think of this one, the only thing he knew is that his hand was already making contact his his face.

Tom fought back, he punched Remus and that's when Sirius thought of getting involve, when that bastard's friends started to go against Remus.

"She was drunk!" He yelled once he felt James pulling him away, Sirius distancing himself from the others once James arrived and yelled at them to stop. "You had no right touching her, she was drunk!"

Lily tried to calm Remus down while James made sure of kick everyone out from the party.

"Remus, relax, alright?" He tried to breath but he couldn't bare to even think of you, scared, begging for it to stop and not feeling strong enough to do something about it, the impotence. "Where is she?"

"Upstairs"

"What if you calm down and go look for her? How does that sound? Spend a bit of time with Y/N, she must be scared and exhausted. She needs you to be there"

He nods, that actually sounded good, just the two of you, lying in Sirius' bed, or you lying in the bed while he's on the floor, maybe just holding hands, he didn't know. He was so confused right now, too many emotions.

Remus walked upstairs and opened the door, you looked at him, worried and ran to inspect his body, he just chuckled.

"I heard the fight" You say, calmly.

"Sorry" He says and you frown "I thought Sirius' room was soundproof"

You shake your head "Why did... why did you get into a fight? You don't fight"

"I've come to realize, that I can only fight when it comes to you. Whether is against you or for you"

"You will fight me?"

"I fight you every single day it's crazy. I spend more time thinking about you than any girl I've like. My relationships don't work because I'm just looking forward the next time I see you in class to see if I did better than you. There's days where the only thing feeding my will to live is our silly competition"

"But will you fight me, tho?" You asked with a smile and curious eyes. "Like you did today"

"I could take you" He simply answer "Not in a fight"

You chuckle and look at him, his hair is messy, even more than it always is, his shirt is missing around three buttons and you can see his chest, his cheek is red and it's starting to turn purple and yet he still looks a weird way of divine.

And you felt brave enough to kiss him. Remus feel like standing on clouds, it was the first time he could confirm he believed in God.

"Does this mean we're not rivals anymore?"

"Don't be silly, Remus. One kiss doesn't erase years of competition. I could mop the dirt with you"

"What about two kisses?"

"I would have to think about it"

[braxlrose]

Hello! I really like your writing and I was wondering if I could request a bill x reader? It's where reader had a very rough childhood, with parents and stuff so they dont have a really good picture of love and gets confused about little nice things Bill does for them, like comforting and just being a good boyfriend, and can sometimes be like emotionally unavailable? But they really try with Bill and, yeah! Lmao, you don't have to do this and feel free to ignore!

omggg you're literally one of my favorite writers and I love this request because I really like writing angst bc there's so much emotion so ty <3

Also this is not proof read

cw: mentions of abuse (physical and verbal), angst, tell me if I missed anything pls!

Growing up was hard for you. Your father was barely ever around and when he was, he was completely hammered. You tried to stay away from him when he was like that, but it was hard considering you lived in the same house and he was always getting fired from jobs. Whenever you angered him, he'd take off his belt and beat you until you were sobbing. Then would pass out on the couch and act like nothing was wrong when he woke up.

On the other hand, your mother just never seemed to be happy with you. Always nit-picking on everything you did, the way you looked, the way you did your hair, your style, the way you talked, you were either too skinny or too fat; you just couldn't do anything right in her eyes.

You always tried your best to make them happy, just having the smallest glimmer of hope that they'd be proud of you for something. All your hard work at school or everything you did for your community. All the diets you went on for your mother. Cleaning up after your father. There was just nothing you could do.

You didn't understand why they were like this. Why did they have a child in the first place if all you did was "ruin their lives". You didn't understand love at all. Your mother said that she only does this because she cares about you, but if she cared wouldn't she want you to be yourself? No, of course not. You're either like her, or nothing. And that was that.

***

Then you moved to Magdeburg, Germany. Your mother was sick of her old apartment and your father was banned from all the alcohol stores in your town, so you had to move. Again. This wasn't the first time. You've moved 4 times in the past year because of your parents, you haven't lived anywhere long enough to make any friends.

You had moved into a small village and your mother was making you go over to the neighbour's for dinner. Your father was passed out somewhere so it was just you and her. She put your hair in a high ponytail and added "cute little pink bows". She always pulled too hard on your hair when she did it. You weren't allowed to leave the house unless you put on the pink, frilly dress she got you. You had to be "perfect" and "lady-like" or else no one would like you.

You slipped on your shoes and got pushed out the door by your mother. She had also plastered your face in makeup. Mascara, eyeshadow, lipgloss, all of that. You were fifteen years old for God sakes, why did she care so much?!

"You better not make me look bad in front of our new neighbour's, got it? I don't need your running your mouth like always." You nodded your head as she smacked the back of it, making you flinch before knocking on the door. You heard footsteps coming quickly to the door before a blonde woman opened up. A smile crept onto her face as she saw us.

(Its changing from third person to first person now!)

"Oh come in! Come in!" She said to us with a big smile on her face, ushering us in. My mother pushed me into the house, with a smile. The woman in front of us leaned down and waved, "Hi! You must be y/n! It's so nice to meet you!" I froze. What was I supposed to say? What if she got mad at my tone? What if I said something wrong? What if- I looked up as my mother nudged me on the arm, glaring into my eyes. don't be rude. she didn't even have to say anything for me to understand.

"Nice to meet you too!" I said to her, trying to smile but it just ended looking uncomfortable and awkward. She stood back up to her normal height and turned around, waving us towards the living room.

"Boys! Come down here to meet our new neighbours!" The woman shouted up the stairs as me and my mother sat down on the couch. She swatted my arm again.

"Stand up straight. Your going to make me look like a bad mother!" She whispered to me, giving me that icy cold glare she can never seem to get rid of whenever she looks at me.

Just then, two boys came stumbling down the stairs. They were obviously twins but looked very different from eachother. I turned my body back around when I heard then coming into the living room. I straightened out my back and looked at them with wide eyes.

"Woah, a girl." The mophead whispered. Tch, mophead. That's what he looked like. His dreads were all over the place.

"This is Mrs. y/l/n and y/n. They moved here today. Why don't you boys show y/n around the house?" They both nodded and smiled at me. This is where it all began. My friendship with Tom and Bill Kaulitz. It's been about 4 months since then and we all became good friends really quickly.

***

Me and Bill were walking through the park while tom was out doing God-knows-what. It was December already, so it had gotten really cold. We walked on some trails before Bill stopped us.

"What are you doing?" I asked, as he bent down on his feet.

"Tying your boots. You're gonna trip on them." My eyes widened as he leaned down. I'm just a fucking idiot I didn't even notice my shoelaces were untied. Who the fuck doesn't know that? Why didn't I realize? Am I actually that stupid? I could hear my mother's voice pounding in my head.

"Oh no! You don't have to do that, it's fine really! I'm just stupid, it's f-" he covered my mouth as he got it.

"Relax, I'm already done and I don't mind. Wouldn't want my favorite neighbour to fall face first into snow." He laughed and kept walking. Why'd he do that? He should've just told me to do it on my own, right? I don't need anybody to do anything for me. He should've just left it alone! What the fuck is wrong with hi-

"Hey are you thirsty?" What? What was he saying? I looked over at him when he stopped. We were back in town now, I hadn't even noticed.

"Hello?" He waved his hand in front of my face.

"Uhm..what?" I asked with a blank expression on my face. What was he saying? Why was he even asking me instead of just telling me? Isn't that easier?

"I said are you thirsty? There's a place just down the road that sells the best hot chocolate, you'll love it!" He said, grabbing my hand to bring me down the road. He wanted to get me hot chocolate?

"I don't have any money, Bill." He looked back at me and laughed.

"I'm buying, dummy. Why would I offer you something and then make you buy it? I'm not that awful." He joked, keeping my hand firmly in his. What. He wants to buy me something?

"You don't need to do that bill. I don't want to be a burden-" I sputtered out, not wanting him to do something he'd regret before he interrupted me.

"Burden?! You?" He stopped walking again and pulled me closer. Our faces were only a couple inches apart now and my hands were in his. "Y/n, you're my girlfriend. If I wanna buy my girlfriend a hot chocolate I'm gonna buy my girlfriend a hot chocolate, 'kay?" I was stunned. I don't understand why he's like this. He's too nice, people are gonna take advantage of that. Nevertheless, I nodded and walked down to where they were selling hot chocolate. Bill made sure to put extra marshmallows on mine. Why was he treating me like this?

We arrived back at his house and he pulled me down onto his bed with him.

"Jesus christ! Your hands are freezing, why didn't you say something." My hands? I guess they're cold. I hadn't noticed. Maybe they had gone numb half way through and that's why. Why did Bill care, they'd warm back up with time.

"It's no big deal Bill, I'll survive.." his eyes went wide like I had two heads.

"Are you insane?! No way!" He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him. He rubbed his hands onto mine and wrapped mine tightly in his. "Can't have your fingers falling off. I need someone's hand to hold." I smiled at me and wrapped the blanket around me. I laid my head down on his pillow and closed my eyes. My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to have a perfect boyfriend who gets me hot chocolate or warms up my hands for me. I don't deserve this. You don't deserve this. She was back again. She's always there. My mother sitting in the back of my head like there's a throne waiting there for her. Why were her words stuck in me like glue. I'm sick of her constantly belittling me like I'm nothing. But I am. I am nothing. Nothing at all. Just a useless soul that needed to fill an empty body and nothing mor-

"Y/n! Wake up! Are you okay?" Huh..? What was happening? I turned my head and looked outside. It was pitch black out. Had I fallen asleep? I turned back to bill and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. He had shaken me awake from my slumber. "Are. You. Okay?" He asked again, "you were mumbling and crying in your sleep. Did you have a bad dream?" I was crying? My finger tips reached up towards my cheeks. They were wet. I guess I was crying.

"I'm fine, bill. It was nothing." I mumbled and laid back down. His mouth was slightly agape as he crawled closer to me and engulfed me into a hug. He laid kisses all over my face. Why? Why does he care?

"You're not fine, and it's okay to be not fine! Just tell me what's wrong and let me help you!" He said to me as both of his hands caressed my cheeks. Help..me? Like I'm some charity case that needs fixing? I didn't need to be fixed. Yeah maybe I'm not perfect to my mother and maybe I have some fucked up issues but I don't need to be fixed. What the fuck was his problem?! Doesn't he understand I'm perfectly fucking fine!

"I said, I'm fine!" I shouted at him, shoving bill away from me and pushing myself off the bed. I'm perfectly fine and I don't need him telling me what's wrong with me. His head hit the wall by his bed and I could hear a crack. I broke his wall. I don't care. That's his fault. He should've backed off.

I heard him calling out my name along with a couple cries in between. I pulled on my shoes and stormed out the door. I don't need him or anybody or anything! I don't need him treating me like I'm some child who can't control her emotions!

That was 2 weeks ago. I hadn't spoken or even looked at him in two weeks. What was wrong with me? I hurt the only boy who's ever loved me. He probably hates me now. I'm the worst girlfriend in the entire world. Im the stupidest person. You're the most dumb, ugly, disgusting daughter who has ever been seen on this earth.

she's back.

I'm fucked up in the head and I don't know how to fix it. I want to blame my mother and father but it's not their fault, right? They care about me. It's my fault I'm like this. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I have no one to blame but myself...right?

I was stuck sitting down in a chair while my mother poured goopy foundation onto my skin. We had to go to some classy town thing and I had to actually "look like a girl".

"Maybe if you were naturally beautiful I wouldn't have to waste my time doing this."

"Sorry mama..it's not my fault though..." She glared down at me and smacked the back of my head.

"You're lucky you have foundation on or I would've smacked the shit out of this disgusting face." She gritted between her teeth. Her words were like an awful, greasy poison dripping from her tongue. I hadn't done anything and some how I had made her mad again.

She shoved me into a long, cream colored dress and turned on the ignition. I leaned my head against the side of the door as we drove. Why couldn't I just be the normal, beautiful daughter my mother wanted? If there was a God, he had some serious explaining to do.

"Stop slouching! You think I want a daughter with bad posture?! My god! Can't you do anything right?" The speech. I've heard it a million times since I learned how to talk. How I can't do anything right and I'm just some failure who should've been aborted fifteen years ago. How I ruined my mother's life and how she was going to be a star if it wasn't for me.

It was a long car ride but we finally got there. And the event was even worse. There were so many people and the music was way to loud. I felt like crying. My hands were shaking and I couldn't stop picking at my nails. Women kept coming up and taking to me with their children. Friends of my mothers. I could guess by their judging stares. I looked lady-like and had good posture and was smiling. Why was I being judged, what am I doing wrong again? Why can't I just be normal? A normal girl who doesn't fuck everything up. Doesn't make her parents hate her. Doesn't ruin her parents lives. Doesn't make people feel awkward. Doesn't hurt their boyfriends.

And that was my breaking point. Tears flooded down my cheeks and everybody was staring at me. I stumbled away into another room and sobbed on the floor. I couldn't breathe. My hands hurt from picking at my nails and my face hurt and my body hurt and my eyes were burning and my makeup was surely ruined.

Everything is. I always ruin everything. What the fuck is wrong with me?! The one person who truly cared about me...i..I haven't- I hiccups against the wall and bawled my eyes out. The one person who truly, actually cared about me...I haven't talked to him in two weeks. Then I caught my breath. I stood up and wobbled to the nearest window. I pulled myself out of it and stumbled outside. My whole body hurt so I probably ooked crazy. I could feel mascara was running down my cheeks as I walked through the town.

My arms were freezing cold and I still felt like everybody was watching me. Their beady and judgy eyes staring me down like I was about to go crazy. Well, I guess technically they were right. I just started sobbing in front of everybody so I probably did look insane. You looked insane! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Can't you just act like a girl for once!? That's what my mother said me to in the 3rd grade after a play we did..

I finally got back to my house and looked up to the neighbour's house. Bills house. The light was on in his bedroom. He was awake. I turned back to my door and took a deep breath. I had to say something to him. Right? I had to make him believe I wasn't some crazy person who would push everybody away. Maybe that's what I was though..

I knocked on the door but nobody answered, so I stepped into their house. It was completely dark as I stumbled up the stairs to bills room. I looked at all the happy family pictures they had. God they were so lucky. So lucky to have a perfect family. A father and mother who love them. Having a twin must be great, it's like having a bestfriend for life, right?

As I stepped up the stairs I heard the door open. Bill must've heard me coming up. When he slowly looked around the corner I saw his eyes widen at my awful state. I guess I should've cleaned myself up first, I look a mess. My dress was torn from crawling out the window and my makeup was obviously smeared. I bet my hair wasn't too pretty either.

"Holy shit, y/n?!" He came down the stairs quickly and grabbed my arms, helping me up the stairs, "what happened?! You look...awful."

He sat me down on his bed and I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him. This perfect guy who loves me. I tried to open my mouth and say something but nothing came out. I guess he could tell I wasn't sure what to say because he went to the bathroom and grabbed some wipes.

"Here.." he kneeled down and began to wipe my makeup off. Tears slipped past my waterline as he comforted me. He just sat there looking up at me with a pity smile on his face as he cleaned me up. He took of my hands in his other hand and held it. He really was perfect. He saw him grab some lotion off his desk and rub it around my face after he wiped everything off.

"Come on, why don't we get you into some comfortable clothes okay?" I nodded at him and toyed with my fingers as he picked out some clothes.

I was laying in his arms now. His fingers were combing though my hair as I laid on his chest. I wasn't sure why he was doing this. Any sane person would've just kicked me out, right? I held onto bill tighter whenever he kissed my head and my cheeks. I cuddled up closer to him and nuzzled into his neck.

"I love you, y/n.." bill whispered as I dosed off into my sleep, breathing in his comforting scent and letting tears fall on his skin because he was the only person who was able to make me feel at home.

OKAY THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS AND IT ALMOST GOT DELETED BUT THANK GOD IT DIDNT, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!

the end felt kinda rushed but I hope it was still good

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam

[minotaurs-my-beloved]

Hey girl so this is my first time asking for a "fanfic?" Abt a DOMwerewolfxf human? Not a certain one or anything just like a scenario Abt a FWB werewolf x fem reader where they were both at a club (on accident) and he (werewolf) saw that she(reader) was talking/flirting with another werewolf and he got jealous and confronted her about it and she brushed it off and like 2 hours later she hears her door knocking and he "tricks her" Into thinking that hes not mad Abt it but once they like start making out and she starts getting desperate he starts saying things like "who fucks you better" and shit like that and gets rlly possessive❤️ thanks girl ! Also plz don't use "daddy kink" I hate it!!(Not kink shaming)

Dw, I don't usually add any kinks unless directly asked just in case<3

You had been wanting more with Conan since before this friends with benefits situation even started, but considering it's been months of this and he won't even let you kiss him, you've long since abandoned that dream.

In the beginning it was fine, he was paying attention to you, and it felt so fucking good. But now, it just hurts every time you're finished and you realize he isn't yours. Your friends can see it's hurting you, so they decide to take you out for a girls night to get your mind off things. Getting you all dressed up and taking you to the bar.

And it works! You let loose, not drinkin to much, you don't want to wake up with a terrible headache tomorrow, but enough to feel more confident. One of your friends nudges you with their shoulder and tilts her head in the direction of a big man, clearly another werewolf with that height, staring at you from across the room. You blush and look away, but the girls refuse to let you give up this chance, trying to urge you to go over.

Then, you see Conan and your heart drops into your stomach, but, its also serves as the also nail in the coffin and you start walking over to the other wolf. Childishly wanting Conan to see you, wanting him to know you're not desperate for him. The wolf grins at you, showing off his big sharp canines, talking to you with a low sultry voice, a slight growl in the back of his throat. He looks you up and down, complimenting your dress and you keen. It feels so good for someone to look at you like this, so obviously, you start flirting back.

At first you feel a pang of betrayal, but quickly shove that away. I mean, why shouldn't you flirt with him? It's not like Conan and you are together or anything. Just as he puts his hands around your waist, you're ripped from your thoughts by the sound of a familiar voice saying your name.

You snap your head in the direction of Conan as he glowers at the both of you. "Is that your boyfriend?" The wolf asks, you frown and shake your head, "No, sorry about him." He nods slowly, "Mhm, it kinda seems like you two have somethin goin on. I don't want to be in the middle of that, sorry love." He smiles gently at you and walks away. You stand there for a minute before spinning on your heel and storming over to Conan, seething in rage.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You push his chest, which does a total of nothing. He's literally 7 feet tall. Don't know what you expected there. Anyways, he looks down at you, jaw clenched, "Didn't like the way he was looking at you."

That stuns you with the sheer fucking stupidity.

You don't even waste the energy and stalk off, ignoring his calls of your name. Your friends completely understand when you order the uber to leave. Fists clenched, jaw set, face in a permanent tired glare as you stare out the window, the scenario playing itself in your head over and over while you cuss him out in your mind.

Making it back home, unlocking your apartment, you don't even bother to take off your makeup, falling onto your bed, too angry to cry. Two hours or so later, you've fully calmed down, just accepting it for what it is, deciding next time you see Conan you'll break it off.

All that resolve quickly disappears the minute you hear a knock and his rough voice coming from the door. You take a breath before walking over, slowly opening it, and looking up at him, "What."

His ears lie back against his head and he looks at the floor, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I was just jealous, but that's not fair to you."

You furrow your eyebrows at his words, "Why would you be jealous? We're not in a relationship?"

He looks to the side, refusing to meet your eyes, "What if I don't want that? What if I want more than just sex? I want you, please?" He mumbles the last part, slowly raising his head to meet your eyes.

"Fuck, I want you too, so damn bad." His tail wags rapidly at your words, banging against the doorframe, "Let me make it up to you then, yeah?"

You move your body to let him in and he quickly pushes you against the wall, making out with you, for the first time. You yelp in surprise, closing your eyes and kissing him back, feeling his teeth nip at your lip while he whines quietly into your mouth. Picking you up like you weigh nothing, carrying you to the bed and laying you down on it, stripping you and himself.

Driving his fat cock deep inside your cunt, starting slow but soon ramming into you. Growling and groaning with each thrust, "Yeah, take it. Fucking take it bitch, I fuck you down so much better than he could ever. Don't i?" You babble out some incoherent response and he just grins and fucks you harder, "You're mine, you know that right? Mine. Nod your head for me, love, that's right babygirl, you needed this."

[applejuicefruit]

can you do angst to fluff where reader had been rlly focused on her career/school and not spending a lot of time w kylian. so when she tries to make plans he acts really annoyed but he's really just hurt. it takes a lot for him to open up bc he doesn't want to seem soft. so when reader finally talks to him ab it he j expresses that he's sad and she reassures him and treats him like her little baby again 🥲🥲

Hii thank you for requesting this I hope you like it ⭐️

kylian mbappe x reader

She Hulk

You always wanted to be a lawyer, it’s always been your dream so when you got into the law school of your dream you felt like floating. Your family was so proud of you, your boyfriend Kylian was so proud of you, he always supported you and that was the most important thing to you. It’s been over a year now and you were still in school studying harder and harder every single day.

It was like you forgot how to live. You were constantly studying, burying yourself in pages and pages and barely living. You didn’t mean to do it but you ignored your friends and your boyfriend. One night he asked you if you wanted to go out with him but you were so tired and busy studying that you said no. Without giving him an explanation.

It was currently the weekend and you thought of giving yourself a well deserved break. You knew Kylian had practice that day so you wanted to surprise him with pizzas a movie night. You had the spare key of his apartment so when he wasn’t home you organised everything. From the pillows and blankets laid on the floor near the couch, to the pizzas cooking in the oven, from the Disney + home page opened on his TV to the candles lighting up the atmosphere. You were so excited about spending time with Kylian again that you thought he would love it too.

When he opened the front door he never expected to see you there, in the kitchen, cleaning what you used to make pizzas and smiling directly at him. He was kinda mad at you for ignoring him for more than a week. Honestly he was an attention seeker and he loved your attention so much it made him sad the fact that you ghosted him for ten agonising days.

“Surprise!!” you said smiling at him

“What is this?” he asked a bit confused

“I thought of making something special for our weekend together, I made pizza, we can watch a movie or two and then we can cuddle all night” you said - your smile never leaving your face

“I’m actually tired from practice” he said passing over you and putting his jacket on the couch. Your heart broke a little. You spent hours on getting everything ready for this night and all he did was ignoring you.

“Kylian?” you called him

“What?” he said not even looking at you

“Are you mad?” you asked him trying to figure out why he was acting that way “did something happen at practice?”

“No I’m fine honestly…why don’t you just go home, I’m quite tired…” he said and you couldn’t believe of what you were hearing

“Kylian…are you mad at me?” you asked him but he ignored you “Kylian! Can you at least look at me and tell what I did?”

“So it’s fine for you to ignore me for more than a week then come here and do all of this and expecting me to be happy to see you! I haven’t heard from you for more than ten fucking days! I had to text your best friend to even know if you were still alive! So yes I’m mad at you!” he snapped back at you raising his voice. He never raised his voice with you. Instead you always talked about your problems so it was scaring you his behaviour change.

“Kylian…I’m so sorry I’ve never meant to ignore you it’s just…I’ve been studying so much in these past days that I completely forgot to-“

“You forgot about your boyfriend that’s what happened…I thought - maybe it’s over, maybe she found someone else, maybe she doesn’t love anymore, maybe she cheated…” he said looking at you

“What! I would never cheat and you know that!” you raised your voice a little bit, this time making you angry accusing you of cheating

“No y/n I don’t…I haven’t heard from you for days so I don’t know what you were up to!” he screamed back

“Studying! That is what I was fucking doing! Studying because I have three exams next week! Not one, not two but three fucking exams!” you screamed back

“So you’re gonna tell me you have been studying for ten days without taking a break?” he asked in a sarcastic voice, still mad at you

“Fuck…yes Kylian! I was studying what do you think I was doing? I didn’t mean to ignore you! It’s just…” - and in that moment you felt a few tears fall from your face, letting all the stress of the past week coming out, all the sleepless nights spent on books, all the adrenaline bottled up in the past days coming out now “…you have no idea of how hard it is! I can’t fail these exams…I just I can’t…” you said, lowering your tone, tears falling from your eyes. Kylian’s heart broke when he saw you like this, proof that you were really stressed and, instead of helping you he was causing more stress to you.

“If you don’t want me here tonight it’s fine…I’ll go home but at least eat the pizza I made, is good…” you said, reaching up for your jacket and purse when his hand grabbed your arm

“Babe…” he said looking at you with a very sad face and that’s all it took for you to burst into tears, letting all the stress coming out “hey shh…it’s okay, let it all out” Kylian said while stroking your back. Your head on his chest and your arms around his neck, almost holding on for dear life.

“Baby it’s okay…I’m so sorry baby, I wished I’ve seen it before…you’re so stressed honey, it’s okay let it all out” he kept saying while helping you letting all of your stress out. After a few minutes you calmed down. Kylian’s hands wiping your tears away.

“I didn’t want to ignore you” you said truthfully

“I know baby, I’m so sorry…I wished I could have helped you before…”

“It’s okay It’s just hard…you know I’m not She Hulk” you said and he laughed a bit, still holding you close

“Why don’t we eat the delicious pizza you made and watch something? Preferably not She Hulk…” he suggested smirking at you

“What! She’s amazing! She’s a lawyer and she can kick ass! I’m basically her but without the superpowers and the law degree, not yet at least…” you joked, laying on the blankets while Kylian took the pizzas out of the oven

“Fine we can watch She Hulk” he said sitting next to you with the pizzas and you let the first episode starts, again.

That was all you needed. A little bit of relax with the man you loved most, it was perfect.

[fallinforerling]

LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. chapter 10 - jb

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

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"So... You're back together with him?" Nikki whispered, looking at you neutrally. She was fighting her face muscles, so they didn't make any type of weird expression that may upset you. She was as sweet as it gets.

"God, no! We're just... friends. That's it." It made you uncomfortable to admit you forgave Jude after all the events of the past month. You were aware of how mad your friends were at him. "I know it’s a bit stupid to forgive him after…"

"After all the shit? We know. He’s not the brightest person around for breaking up with you for that reason." Mia leaned against the sofa, shrugging. "I swear to God, some men can’t talk about their feelings for the sake of their life." A tiny smile peaked from her lips. "We get you, you know that, right? It’s not easy to ignore all the feelings you still have for him… It’s been a month." 

"Hey!" You blushed rapidly, ashamed by Mia’s words. "That’s not the reason…" 

"Sweetie, we know you. You’re not going to fail yourself, us or anyone else just because you still love him." Nikki sighed. "And he’s kinda handsome…" Mia elbowed her, rolling her eyes. "What?! He is! Not my type!" She screamed immediately, looking at you with a worried expression. "Don’t take it as a hint of my non-existent attraction to your boyfriend." 

"He’s not my boyfriend!" You screamed as well, laughing. "We-are-friends." 

"For now." Mia shouted, giving you a knowing look. "If he plays his cards right… Baby, you’re going back to being his girlfriend in less than three months." 

"Or his wife." Niki giggled while saying it. 

"Very funny." It was your time to roll your eyes, taking a deep breath. "I love the support in case I get back together with him, but that’s not it. I’m still bitter about the whole situation, I just got tired of… I don’t know, the intense drama and both of us wanting closure. He’s my friend. We can be friends." 

"Are you trying to convince us or yourself?" Mia asked, patting your leg. "We get it, he’s an asshole. I’m not saying he’s innocent or that you should get back together with him right now, but… Girl, you’re in love, and so is he. He basically implied marriage." 

"You know what they say about drunk talk." Nikki added. 

"I don’t want to hear anything else about marriage. That’s the reason for our breakup… Besides, we’re going to his parents house tomorrow so he can tell them the truth." 

"No way! How did that happen?!" Mia laughed, visibly enjoying Jude’s future sufferment. 

"He said he was going to do anything in his power to make things right with me… Well, that’s the first thing I asked for: honesty. I need him to be completely honest to his parents." You crossed your arms. "It’s bad enough that he asked Jobe to lie about our breakup too. I can’t stand it anymore." 

"Sounds reasonable." Nikki agreed, smiling again. "He’s going to throw himself under the bus just to make his girl happy; how romantic!" 

The only answer she got from you was a pillow thrown directly at her face.

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If you were completely honest with yourself, you were as scared as Jude seemed. It was easier to think about it than to actually do it. You loved Jude’s parents; they were the sweetest people ever, and they always treated you like a daughter. That’s why it was horrible to lie to them, but it was even worse to confess it directly to their faces. 

"I’m nervous." You said after a while, waiting in the living room for them to arrive. Jobe was sitting on the opposite sofa, smiling from time to time while looking at his phone. 

"You are nervous? Mom is going to kill me." Jude took a deep breath, bouncing his right leg non-stop since he sat down. "Dad’s going to smack my head off after he finds out why I broke up with you." 

You bit your lip, feeling bad for putting him in this position. Nonetheless, it was inevitable. 

"Maybe you shouldn’t mention the marriage part." You said after a while, touching his arm. "It might be too much." 

"What? Yes, I do. What’s the point of telling them if I’m not going to be completely honest with them? You said I needed to hold myself accountable for my actions, that it was best for my parents to know what happened. So I’m doing it. If a scolding from my parents and disappointed looks are what it takes for me to regain a little bit more of your trust, then that’s what I’m doing." He rubbed his face, taking your hand between both of his. "I’m just a bit nervous, that’s it." 

You both looked at each other for a while, just silently studying the other. You felt a different type of happiness while replaying his words in your head. 

"Good, then." You squeezed his hand, smiling. "Do you want me to be here while you tell them?" 

He shook his head. 

"I need to tell them alone, it was my mistake after all." 

"Better gather your courage, because they’re here." Jobe said almost immediately, looking out the window. You didn’t even notice he got up in the first place. "Come on, let’s go somewhere else after you say hello, they need their space." He told you, grabbing his phone.

The three of you silently waited for them to arrive. When the door finally opened, your heart started to beat frantically. Would they hate you after this? Will they yell at Jude? Tell you to leave? 

"Don’t panic. It’s going to be fine." Jobe spoke, sensing your sudden fear. 

"We’re here!" Mark said, his voice coming from the hall. "Are we all home?" 

"Yeah! We’re in the living room!" Jude said, standing up. He looked at you over his shoulder, giving you a tiny smile. "It’s okay, just go with Jobe while I do this." 

"Hello, hello!" Denise entered the room first, smiling, as always. "Honey! I’m so glad you’re here! I bought all the ingredients for your favorite meal, so I hope you’re hungry." While she said all that, she gave both of her sons a kiss and a hug to you. 

"Hello, darling. Nice to see you again." Mark followed her, hugging you. "What’s up with all of you standing in the middle of the room?" 

"I…" Jude started to talk, his voice failing at the last second. "I wanted to tell you something. To the both of you." 

Mark and Denise looked at each other with identical expressions of suspicion. Then they looked at you, raising their eyebrows. The look they had on their faces was a mix of emotion and fear. 

"Okay?" Denise said, sitting on the nearest sofa. "Go ahead." 

"Uhm, it’s better if we’re alone." Jude said, looking back at Jobe and you. 

"We are… Going to be upstairs, bye!" Jobe was fast on fleeing the scene. He took your arm, dragging you out of the room and up the stairs. You gave Jude one last worried look before leaving.

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It’s been twenty minutes since both of you went upstairs. There hasn’t been one yell, any loud voices, or even any mumbling that was high enough for you to hear it. You were happy that it was a peaceful conversation, but the suspense was killing you. You sat on Jobe’s bed, paced around the room, fiddled with some funkos that were sitting on his desk, and even folded some clothes that were on a chair. He kept looking at you with an annoyed expression; you were going all over his room, so it was understandable. 

"Can you sit still for five minutes? It’s fine, they’re not going to kill him." Jobe looked up from his phone after you sat down and immediately got up for the third time, sighing. "Besides, if there’s no yelling, they’re not going too hard on him." 

"I’m just worried that they’ll be mad at him forever." Was all you said, sitting next to him on the bed. "Am I overreacting?" 

"Just a bit." He shrugged, looking at you. "I understand why you are worried, but don’t be. They love you. Of course they’re going to be a bit disappointed in Jude for being… Well, Jude. But it’ll pass. Just prepare, because they're going to work extra hard on getting you back together." 

"Why is everyone saying that? We’re friends now." 

Jobe gave you a side smile that did nothing to calm your anxiety. 

"It’s just meant to happen, darling."

˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚

✉️ Jude: You guys can come downstairs, I’m still alive

✉️ Jude: At least

 The text relieved your stress a bit, but the idea of coming downstairs was still terrifying. What will Denise tell you? You didn’t want to make her upset after all, she was like a second mother to you in so many ways. 

 “It’s now or never, love. C’mon, it’s okay.” Jobe had to physically lead you through the hallway and down the stairs. You were so stiff it was uncomfortable to walk. “Stop acting like you’re walking straight to your death.”

 “It feels like it, Jobe. It really feels like it.” You whispered after walking around the corner and entering the living room. 

 Denise and Mark were standing by the sofa, where Jude was sitting with a blank stare directed at the carpet. He was pale, but other than that, his body language was still pretty good for a person who spent the last thirty minutes talking about a delicate subject with his parents. 

 “Oh, honey.” Denise said as soon as she saw you, walking rapidly towards you. She gave you the warmest hug you’d ever received from someone in a long time. “I swear I raised him better than that.” 

 “It wasn’t your fault, Denise.” You rubbed her back, smiling a bit. Your eyes wandered to Jude, who saw the hug with a tiny smile on his face. His eyes were tired, but he seemed content with what he saw. “It was just complicated.”

 Mark stood there, obviously uncomfortable and not sure about what to do. You simply smiled at him once Denise released you from the hug and gave him a little thumbs up. He seemed relieved by it; he just smiled back and pointed at Jude. 

 “I’ll make sure none of that happens ever again, I swear.” Then he looked behind you. “And you, young man, stop covering your brother when he does things like this.”

 “Dad, don’t shoot the messenger. I prefer to get scolded by you than choked to death by Jude.” 

 “Talking about drama queens.” You said, smiling when Jude seemed a bit more animated by your joke.  

“Well, I’ll take her to the kitchen for a while. She needs a little bit of peace.” Denise grabbed you by the shoulders with care, and you let her take you wherever she pleased because it was better than staying in the living room and being stared at by the whole family.

“My love, I hope you know I’m deeply sorry about Jude’s behavior.” She said the moment you were out of earshot from the boys. “I don’t know what got into him to act like that. I knew something was wrong this past month. He was unusually quiet, he never talked about you anymore, which was weird since he never shuts up about you or what you guys did. I thought it was a fight, nothing else.” She sighed. “I’m very disappointed by all this. And again, so sorry that you had to go through it because my son wasn’t capable of talking to you or us.” 

“Stop apologizing, it wasn’t your fault that he decided to manage the situation like he did.” You rubbed her arm, trying to make sure she saw you were sincere. “The good thing is that we’re on good terms and you guys know what happened.” 

“Oh, it’s such a shame… You guys were such a lovely couple.” She smiled. “It’s not because he’s my son, but… I wish there was a solution. I’m not defending him, he behaved very poorly and doesn’t deserve a second chance right away. I just know that you both love each other very much.” 

You knew you were safe with Denise to tell her the truth. 

“I do. I still love Jude very much but… I can’t just let him be my boyfriend this soon. I feel like… I’ll be disrespecting what I went through this past month trying to get over the situation.” 

“Your healing process it’s more important than my son’s urge to make things right. He can work harder to repair what he destroyed in the first place.” She gave you an understanding look. “Make him do an effort to save the relationship. You deserve it.” 

Your eyes felt suddenly watery. 

“Thank you for the advice…” 

“Anytime, darling.” She paused, giggling a bit. "And we thought you were pregnat, how naive."

That got you giggling as well.

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After the whole “confession session” you had at his house and a very awkward dinner, Jude decided it was a good idea to go out and eat dessert while exploring the city. You argued, saying people may recognize him and take photos while you two were walking, but he just shrugged and took you for a walk anyways. You followed along because you didn’t had enough energy to discuss; plus, you were craving something sweet.

So you let him walk you around Birmingham, like he always did when you visited his hometown. You didn’t know how, but he always took you to a new place, no matter how many times you did the same routine. Tonight, the walk stopped at a really tiny but beautiful ice cream shop; after some greetings, photos with two guys from the staff and very appealing cups of ice cream, you continued walking until you found a very nice bench far away from the dispersed crowds. 

"Were they too hard on you? Be honest." You asked between scoops of each other's ice cream.

"They were, but mostly because I blew it with you. They said that type of impulsive acts had been always a problem for me, and I agree. I always regret things I do from one moment to the other. But... It wasn't much of an scolding, but more of a large session of advices..."

"That's good. At least they didn't kill you."

He smirked, not replying but instead leaning over to steal the last bite of your ice cream but stopped at the last second.

“Wait, where’s your necklace?” His hand moved your hair away from your neck, revealing the absence of the gift that meant so much to the both of you. 

You stayed in place, scared to tell him the truth. What a way to ruin the mood, huh?

“Uh…” You coughed, awkwardly trying to move your hair back to your neck so his eyes were unable to see how naked it was. “I kind of threw it into a lake two weeks ago?” Yes, you did say that as a question. 

“What?!” He laughed afer a few seconds of blinking, surprising you with the absence of any type of anger. 

“I… I threw it into a Scottish lake, actually.” You paused, smiling when he started to shake his head, still laughing. “I was very upset. I wanted to get rid of it to get closure. Don’t judge me!” You smacked his arm. 

“I’m not! I’m just impressed by it!” He kept smiling. “Well, okay. It’s some new jewelry for the sirens, I guess.” 

“Shut up.” Your cheeks were red, maybe because of the whole ridiculous scenario of a siren taking your necklace or because he was very pretty while smiling. 

“I’ll never shut up about this.” He hugged you out of the blue, leaving a tiny peck on your temple before resting his head on top of yours. “I’ll get you a more beautiful necklace… Don’t worry.” 

“You don’t have to…” But you really wanted him to do so. 

“Of course I do, my love.” 

And when you felt the butterflies inside your chest trying to get out, you knew you still loved him a lot. What were you going to do to stay friends with him while your heart healed? No idea.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ * TAGLIST

@mentalbaddie | @taintedstranger | @mrs-dasilvasantoss | @mbapbaesluvr | @erensfavgirly | @cinderellawithashoe | @yoitsmo07 | @seajjin | @kakuchosbff | @peterparkerbae | @alwaysclassyeagle | @itsjuspenny-blog | @lbsmainblog | @youngjayla | @freetimemachinequeen | @chaeryeongstuff | @lazyreadergirl | @trentismine | @ironmaiden1313 | @wavessmile | @jul1ettt | @daydream-er | @citrusjunosart | @pierre-gasssllyy

[lemon-boy-stan]

THE 1 - JOHNNY SUH

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The wait for the first standalone chapter of my NCT The Eras series has finally ended! SUMMARY: Johnny and the reader have been best friends since time itself, and they've never fought, until her most recent breakup. GENRE: smut. WARNINGS: unprotected sex, angry sex, years of tension built up between Johnny and the reader, manhandling.

I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit

Been saying "yes" instead of "no"

I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

I hit the ground running each night

I hit the Sunday matinée

You know the greatest films of all time were never made

Johnny always made it clear that he hated your boyfriends, ever since your first boyfriend in highschool. He made it clear that he hated them and that they weren't good for you, and when it turned out to be true, he was always pissed.

Johnny had only ever had one girlfriend before, in his final year of highschool, the year Nakamoto Yuta took you to prom. You weren't even sure if Johnny was going, and he asked her out the day before.

They seemed pretty happy at the dance, and they were hot and sexy at the after party; Johnny doing shots off her chest. You had to admit, you were a little jealous. Your own date was god knows where, probably off flirting with some jock or some cheerleader. The first thing he'd said to you which you didn't tell Johnny was that tonight was completely casual. It was just so neither of you would go alone.

The prom and the after party was good, but the weeks after that were not. It was Yuta who dumped you first. You'd been casually seeing each other, even though Johnny had gotten mad about the casual part. "Don't date him if he's got more than one partner," he'd said. "I don't care if he's bisexual." so, it wasn't much of a surprise when he dumped you for Mark, but it hurt. Johnny liked to solve problems with violence.

You preffered rumours, and that was when a war broke out, a week before school finished, a day after you'd both recieved acceptance letters from the same college you'd applied to - school wasn't going to stop two best friends from seeing each other.

It was the world's most horrendus and messiest breakup in the history of messy breakups. Johnny never cried, but his ego had been hurt. She'd said something to him, or about him that you never heard. He never told you what she said, but as his sobs rattled the house you knew you would kill her.

Two years later, and Johnny had stopped dating, dedicating his life to lectures and clubs at college and looking after the four-room flat that you shared in New York. You, of course, had not learned your lesson.

I guess you never know, never know

And if you wanted me, you really should've showed

And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow

And it's alright now

Johnny rolled his eyes as you swiped left on your phone. "Seriously," he scoffed, shoving his fork into his food; crunch, crunch. You arched your eyebrow, "what, John?" it had been rocky since Monday, and you brought a blind date home. He snorted, "nothing." you gritted your teeth.

He cocked his head and smiled, "so, plans for today. Do you have another date who's going to interrupt my beauty sleep? Please tell me so I can buy noise cancelling headphones."

The phone dropped on the table almost as soon as your jaw dropped to the floor before you recovered. "Do you have a problem with my love life?" you cocked your head, crossing your arms. Johnny smirked, "yeah, because getting fucked by every guy on campus is a love life." you let out a frustrated scream.

"What the the fuck is your problem?!" you shrieked loudly. "My problem?" he yelled back, "you're the one who doesn't seem to get the intention of every guy who talks to you and then cries as if you didn't see it coming! You're fucking stupid, that's my fucking problem!"

You ignored the stinging pain of his words, using that energy to fire back something even nastier. "At least guys want to fuck me! At least I'm with guys when I'm in my room, unlike you, who probably just jerks off every day like an unexperienced virgin!"

But we were something, don't you think so?Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool

And if my wishes came true

It would've been you

In my defense, I have none

For never leaving well enough alone

But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one

(Ooh)

I have this dream you're doing cool shit

Having adventures on your own

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home

And that's when you scream, because he lifts you off the chair, with a deadly strong grip and lightning fast speed. "Johnny!" you shriek as he drags you into his bedroom. "Johnny! Let me go! Let me go!" but why weren't you scared? Why were you just frustrated?

Your best friend throws you on on his bed. Chucks you. You know what's going to happen, and you can't deny you want it. But you hate him. You hate him so much. And he he hates you too. Oh, yes. You're pretty sure he's hated you ever since kindergarten.

Because, you see, it's not your boyfriends who he hates. It's you. From helping you up after you fell off the swings to being your partner in the science project to standing up for you when they bullied you to picking you first in his sports team to picking you up from a party to to taking you you out your first prom prom to teaching you how to kiss to beating up Nakamoto Yuta and ever other shitty boyfriend to throwing you on his bed he's hated you. And you've hated him. Neither of you have seen it.

We never painted by the numbers, baby

But we were making it count

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

I guess you never know, never know

And it's another day waking up alone

But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool

And if my wishes came true

It would've been you

In my defense, I have none

For never leaving well enough alone

But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one

Now, as he grabs your top top with his hand and rips it off your chest and tears off his shirt and pulls down your skirt, you both know clear as day just how much you hate each other.

You know, because the tears roll down your cheeks when he kisses you, finally, finally on the lips. "I hate you," you sob into him, as he leaves a trail of kisses down your neck, down your chest, along the line of your bra. He ignores you for now, strong, muscular figure and hot, soft lips making their way down your body.

"I hate all the guys you fuck," he growls while licking a slit down your neck. "I hate all the guys that say they love you." a soft gasp escapes your mouth as he sucks on your neck. "And I hate the fact that you think I have no experience."

Ah. So, it was the ego that made him throw you on his bed. You let out a sigh as his tongue worked its way around your clothed breasts, the motion of his mouth creating stars on the ceiling. You didn't even hear the sound of his belt unbuckling, or his pants falling to the floor. You couldn't even remember how to say that you hated him, just that you wanted him, just that you knew to ask him.

I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you

If one thing had been different

Would everything be different today?

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family

And it would've been sweet

If it could've been me

In my defense, I have none

For digging up the grave another time

But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one

(Ooh)

The stars got bigger and bigger as he flicked his tongue around your nipples, bra gone - when had he taken it off? The stars got bigger and your mind got smaller and soon all you could say was his name. All you could say was his name, "please Johnny please." and then it came out in a scream.

You clapped your hand over your mouth, grabbing the sheets with your left, body shifting up and down his bed, his cock now suddenly inches inside you. Big. He was so big. The tears rolled rolled down your cheeks as you bubbled his name, unable to comprehend. "Big, Johnny. Big." hiccupping his name.

All he did was grunt and breathe as he thrust his full length into you. He kissed your scream down, and it turned good. Now you were moaning and he and he was grunting, placing sloppy kisses each time he thrusted.

He couldn't help but think as the sounds left your mouth and you squirmed finally, finally how much he loved you. How much he'd always loved you. From your dreadful mornings to dreadful days, to afternoons where you cried your heart out on his shoulder. To times where he thought of you, when he was fucking her, and rightfully so, why she broke up with him. To the day where he cried because she'd called you the worst, most unthinkable thing. To the times he'd beaten up every good for nothing boyfriend, he'd loved you, forever and always, as he slowed his pace down.

"I love you," he murmured. You moaned his name, gripping his hair. "Johnny," and he'd never been scared his whole life but now he was as he released his cum inside you and you whined, "Johnny." and he was still scared as he pulled out and you woke up and smiled. "I love you too."

NCT THE ERAS MASTERLIST

NAVIGATION

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Can I get how undertale toriel, alphys, undyne, asgore, flowey and asriel would react to Jerry being their friends boyfriend and being invited to dinner but being a complete slob. Like not washing his hands, eating with his hands while dirty, instead of using a napkin, he uses a gross used tissue etc. Just being gross in general. 😖

I did the all Undertale crew because why not!

Undertale Sans - He's cringing so so hard, but he doesn't want to be disrespectful. His humor turns very cynical as the diner goes on though. You can see in Sans' eye sockets that his patience is running thin, and that's something because Sans is literally the most patient monster ever. He breaks character though around 2 a.m. when after many many MANY hints he wants to go to sleep NOW, Jerry still doesn't get it and keeps talking about random things he doesn't care about. He asks Jerry if he's tired, then when Jerry says no, you can see the shadow of a blaster quickly flashing behind him as Sans is doing all he can to not explode. You decide to drag Jerry home after this. Sans needs rest. He's never inviting Jerry for dinner ever again.

Undertale Papyrus - Well, you couldn't know but Papyrus and Jerry have a history. So yeah, when you come all cheerful saying you brought home a friend for dinner and he sees Jerry, you can see his face slowly pale. Poor Papyrus is dying inside the entire evening, trying his best to be a cheerful host but slowly losing his mind at Jerry's manners. Jerry keeps being rude to him, criticizing his cooking, his clothes, his living room and Papyrus is slowly starting to lose his mind. Ok, it's not something a good host should do, but when Jerry asked, no, required a coffee, he poured the entire salt pot in it. It didn't make Jerry leave but how he choked on the coffee was the best moment of that dinner. Jerry then screamed he tried to poison him, and Papyrus, exhausted, screamed back that yes he did and that Jerry should run home quickly to take advantage of the rest of his life. Jerry calls him a terrible host and ragequits with you. As you're reaching the end of the front yard, you can hear Papyrus scream in victory lol, finally free.

Undertale Toriel - She is very friendly towards you. However, whenever Jerry talks to her, she turns colder than ice. If you didn't know how Toriel could have been a queen in the past, now you know. She's not happy with Jerry's manners and if she says nothing during the first hour, she starts to call him out after that, asking him to wash his hands or eat above the table. She starts to lecture him like a child, screaming that even Frisk who is a literal child knows manners better than him and that he should be ashamed to represent a monster kind like this in front of his human friend. She then asks him to leave, she has enough of this. She's mumbling all night long, pacing around her house. She's so mad.

Undertale Asgore - He's too nice to say something. He's literally begging you silently to do something, giving you his best puppy eyes as Jerry is trashing his house as he is showing up his wonderful trash magic. He weakly tried to ask Jerry to calm down but the poor guy got ignored so now he's just silent. Please, help...

Undertale Undyne - She tries to resist. She really tries. But after an hour, she bursts out screaming, grabs Jerry, throws him through the window, and then summons a rain of spears she starts to throw through the broken window. She stops a few seconds later, panting, then quickly sits down and smiles at you, asking where you were in your conversation. You're a bit too shocked to talk right now.

Undertale Alphys - She saw you with Jerry through the windows. In seconds, she switches off all the lights in the house and then runs to hide in her closet. She's obviously not home, maybe come back later. You're disappointed since she invited you, but maybe she just forgot the dinner. Alphys is so relieved when she sees you leave. What a roller coaster of feelings.

Undertale Frisk - They roll their eyes every ten seconds, so so bored. Jerry stole his entire stock of cookies and is eating them loudly in the couch, throwing pieces of it everywhere while saying they are disgusting. Frisk tells three times they don't have limited money but Jerry won't listen. So Frisk decides to cook emergency Undyne's spaghetti to force him to leave. They literally burn down their own kitchen then scream there's a fire to force Jerry out of their house. Once Jerry runs out in fear, Frisk locks the door lmao. He completely forgot you're still sitting at the table as they start dancing in victory.

Undertale Chara - They didn't invite Jerry so they let their friend enter and closes the door at Jerry's face, not giving a care in the world. They're not having Jerry for dinner. They can't do it without murdering him. Chara apologizes for being rude but assures you it's in your best interest.

Undertale Mettaton - Mettaton opens the door, looks at Jerry, says "NO." then shuts the door in your face. He's not doing that. His therapist told him to keep things that make him happy around him. Jerry is the total opposite of that. He didn't come here to suffer, ok?!

Undertale Gaster - After like ten minutes, Gaster can't take it anymore and vaporizes himself in the room. He goes back to his sweet sweet dark SILENT empty void and decides it's best if he doesn't come out from here again before the next day lol.

Undertale Grillby - He says nothing. He completely ignores Jerry and keeps telling himself that he's a bartender, he saw worse customers in his life, and that it's just a bad moment that will stop eventually. He keeps a brave face through the entire dinner, but yeah, his flames tends to burn his chair a few times during the evening as he lost control over them at some point. He's fine. He'll be even more once Jerry leaves his house.

Undertale Muffet - She holds on for a solid ten minutes before sticking Jerry to the ceiling with a spider web and prevents him from talking by sticking his lips together. After that, she's way more relaxed.

Undertale Burgerpants - Why are you doing this to him? He thought you were friends. Friends don't do that to other friends. Poor Burgerpants is desperate, begging you to find a way to get rid of Jerry. Why are you even dating Jerry? Did he kidnap you? Did he force you to follow him? See, at least Burgerpants is a great friend. He's concerned for your safety and wellbeing unlike Jerry who is literally eating MTT burgers who are full of glitter and somehow still enjoy them!

Undertale Flowey - Hell no! He's not doing that. Flowey disappears into the ground and leaves as far away as he can from that monster. He invited you, not him. He already had dinner with Jerry a few times during the resets, he's not inflicted this himself again.

Undertale Asriel - He calls his mom and begs her to come to his home for dinner. He needs moral support. He can't do this on his own. Toriel is not happy when she arrives and discovers she has been tricked, but with two Dreemur, they can survive the night. They both take turns taking care of Jerry, doing their best to not have a mental breakdown. Asriel could never thank her enough for her help.

Undertale Gerson - Gerson got so bored he literally fell asleep in the middle of the dinner and didn't wake up after that lol. He's an old man, if you don't give him exciting things to do, his minds shuts down. Honestly, he's glad he did because he wouldn't have been to nice to Jerry if the dinner lasted longer.

[moreespressoformydepresso]

So I've been thinking about my criticism of Mal and the way her character was handled, and what really sticks out to me is how easy it is to fix. Just a few simple changes and she'd have been okay. At the very least meh! So I'm gonna share some ideas I have on how her hacked up character could have been made not terrible.

I could start with Descendants 3, as that's the one I have the biggest gripes with, but honestly the issues start in the second movie. In an unnecessarily avoidable way. See, the whole conflict of the movie happens because Mal decides to go back to the isle in a complete overreaction. I could just say that Mal should have just... talked to her friends and boyfriend rather than leaving on a whim over being stressed, but that ignores the actual problem. Mal being so overwhelmed isn't written as a genuine conflict, it only exists because the writers needed her to go back to the isle so Uma can kidnap Ben once he follows after her. And the only reason she does this is because Ben didn't follow through on his declaration beyond the first four kids. It's a plot contrivance. So rather than erasing the whole second movie...

Have characters remark on Mal not being princessly enough. Like- at all. The only person who actually seems to think Mal isn't handling this well is Mal herself. And that's seemingly only because she's using magic. So have big important Auradonians behave the way Audrey and Chad did in the first movie. Have them be like queen Leah, assuming the worst just because of who her parents are. Even an implication would be better than what we have right now. Give her actual reasons to feel like she'll never belong in Auradon, because everyone feels like they don't belong at one point in their lives. That's no reason to abandon literally all of her loved ones forever.

Now that we're done fixing Mal's character in the second movie with one small change, let's get to the final boss of her character assassination: Descendants 3. A true speedrun, I know. There is... so much wrong with this movie. Just so much. I won't go into the nitty gritty and keep it to the bigger strokes of stupidity, starting with the easiest thing that would make Mal so much less insufferable in this stupid movie. Mal should not have suggested closing the barrier. In my post about her I think I did a good job at outlining just how many other solutions there were to this non-problem, but honestly it's not even an issue. Hades didn't even get out, and I would like to point out that they get on and off the isle with no problem within this very movie. They start the movie on the isle, and they got on no issue. In the first movie the villains get the message about the kids going to Auradon, and since there's no wifi it must've been delivered. Then the kids get taken off the isle. No trouble at all, and that's with only that chauffeur. No guards, no guns trained at people's faces, nothing. Things don't go perfectly once and Mal's first thought is close the whole thing down? Yeah, no, that's so fucking dumb I don't even wanna argue with this. Mal is being a massive bitch to solve a problem that doesn't even exist, and it's stupid. Just a contrived way to get Mal alone for the dRaMa. The way to fix it is to just erase this entire conflict because it's stupid.

If you insist on keeping it in... Mal should not lie to literally everyone in her life except Ben. And they should not forgive her that easily. Even after the big battle is done her friends should, at the very least, continue giving her the cold shoulder. One apology is not gonna fix the fact that she lied continuously for purely selfish reasons. There is no big noble goal that made her do this, she very explicitly wanted to keep her own happily ever after with no regard as to the many lives she was ruining in the process. And she only lied about it because she knew her friends would be mad about it. If she thought it was a defendable decision, she'd be defending it, but no. This implies that her reasoning is bullshit, but she's doing it anyways because it's the most effective way of ensuring her own happiness. Not the only way, just the one with the most certain outcome.

Lastly, Mal should not just bring down the entire barrier. As much as I bitch about her stupid solution to a non-issue, the isle is still filled with vengeful evil villains. The message of the movie is, supposedly, that anyone can be evil, but this utterly fails due to multiple reasons that I may detail in a separate post. The most the movie should've led to is Auradon bringing a few lesser villains back over, but the big bads? They're there for a reason, and they should not be given the opportunity to hurt even more people. People aren't born evil, but once you choose to be there's gotta be some consequences. Pendulum swinging because of exactly one instance is wrong and stupid and stupid and wrong, because you should base your decisions on the rule, not the exception.

So yeah those are some quick fixes to the most glaring issues with this series that would've made Mal less of a frustrating mess. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[theserpentsadvocate]

AITA for hooking up with my friend’s ex (and exposing the fact that he’s her ex)?

(Someone posted a 'badly describe a fic by doing an AITA' so I did one two for Satisfaction. This is the obvious AITA question but only describes the beginning of the story; the more summary-y one is here.)

So here’s the backstory – I (F17/junior) have been best friends with this girl (F17/senior) since we were nine. She’s a lot flirtier and more outrageous than me, and sometimes encouraged me to be more outgoing. The last year and a half I’ve had a tough time romantically – I was dating her brother (M16/junior) since the end of freshman year, and I (stupidly) thought we would be together forever, but halfway through our sophomore year he went from great to completely ignoring my existence LITERALLY overnight. My friend did a 180 too – first she was like ‘it’s fine, he’s just being weird and he’ll get over it, you’re perfect together’ but then she completely flipped to ‘he’s immature and you can do better, just trust me’ without any explanation. That summer, she encouraged me to start dating this other guy (M17) who’d just moved to town (he ran in her/my ex’s social circles because they’re all pretty rich – I’m not, especially), and after a bit I did, because he was charming and good-looking and I thought he liked me – long story short, he was just stringing me along for a few months until he could steal some illegal steroids from another kid (and his dad’s very expensive car) and run away with his drug-dealing ex.

So I was pretty devastated, not to mention humiliated (for bonus points, my dad had to arrest him for the drug/car thing), but after a bit I got together with my latest boyfriend (M17/junior), who’d liked me for a while. My friend wasn’t thrilled – she thought I could do better – but he was reliable and sweet and things started to get better… or so I thought.

Then I caught them in what one might call a compromising position. Or if one wanted to be clearer, one might say his d*ck was compromising with her mouth.

I was really upset about him – aside from the obvious, this is the third guy in a row that something like this happened with, so it really hurt – but absolutely ruined that she would do this to me. She blew up my phone trying to get me to talk to her, but she didn’t really apologize (not that it would have mattered) and the next day at school she kept acting like nothing had happened, so I got mad and told everyone around us (including HER boyfriend, M17/junior) what she did.

I really thought that would be the end of it, even if I got socially ostracized, but she WOULD NOT STOP texting me and emailing me, saying stuff like she forgave me for telling her boyfriend (!!!) and she was just trying to prove how sleazy my (now ex) boyfriend was, and she was sorry (wayyyyyy too late at this point). It honestly just made me madder, because I don’t know if she thinks I’m so stupid I’ll buy her totally implausible story, or if she ACTUALLY was trying to ‘fix’ my life by having sex with my boyfriend like some kind of psycho, or if she thinks I have so little self-respect I’ll just… forget this happened and be friends with her again? But ALL the options are terrible so I was still furious.

So here’s where the AITA part kicks in – last summer she showed me some break-up letters from this guy she was seeing on the DL for a while the previous fall. She broke up with him and he didn’t take it well and wrote all this stuff about how she couldn’t stop him loving her and he’d never really be gone. It raised a bunch of flags for me and so I looked into him because I was worried about her (she wasn’t bothered – she mostly kept the letters because she likes to keep souvenirs of guys that way – a bit like a serial killer, honestly) but in the end I decided it was probably going to be okay and I left it alone. So I knew about their relationship and I knew he was pretty mad at her about how it ended.

The thing about this guy, though (M17/senior), is that he’s like, the ultimate rebellion (she loves pissing off her parents) – he’s poor, and not white (shouldn’t matter, but…), and has a record. And all of those things, especially the first two, would REALLY bother her boyfriend, even if she was only dating the other guy during one of her+her boyfriend’s ‘off again’ periods*, which she probably wasn’t.

*they have a very tumultuous relationship, and he’s also cheated on her in the past, but only kissing

So I went and found her ex and told him I was going to get revenge on her and convinced him to have sex with me. Then I pretended to be her friend again, and after a bit I told her I slept with her ex – but I made her think I meant her boyfriend, because they broke up for a bit when he found out about her sleeping with MY boyfriend and had since gotten back together.

She made a HUGE deal about it and flipped out, which got everyone’s attention, and THEN I told her no, I meant this other guy. He came forward and basically confirmed it in front of everyone (which I had secretly asked him to), so now everybody knew he was ALSO her ex, which is a pretty big deal in her social circle.

End result: general humiliation (which, just to twist the knife, wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t made such a big deal about it when she thought it was about her other ex/boyfriend), some pretty serious damage to her social standing, she and her boyfriend are broken up for good, and she’s FINALLY stopped texting me.

Why I might be the asshole – I mean, it’s a pretty nasty thing to do, I guess. Also, her boyfriend and I were also friends and I kind of threw him under the bus.

On the other hand – She deserved it. (Plus, he tried to blame ME for the fact she cheated on him with my boyfriend, so I’m not really sorry about the bus-throwing.)

EDIT: Okay, everyone saying I’m an asshole because I was messing with her original ex needs better reading comprehension. I told him what I was doing and he was cool with it. We actually hooked up a few more times after all that, because he’s kind of a jerk himself but the sex is pretty good.

And everyone saying I’m a slut… my entire high school agrees with you. :) Also, I don’t care.

(This isn’t AITS, people.)

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

quick vent because even though i already journalled about it i'm still mad

so i have this friend. we used to be really close and then after covid we were both at uni in different cities but we stayed in touch. she dropped out of uni in the first couple weeks, moved back home and is trying to start a small business as an artist, which i massively respect but it does make her super busy. so every time i'm back home for the holidays i text her like "hey are you free, it would be great to hang out" and she usually either says she's too busy and she can't or that she'll check her calendar and get back to me (and then doesn't). and that would be fine but i kept seeing on her social media that she was finding time to hang out with other people

after about a year of this i told another friend about it (let's call her B) and B was like "oh, i haven't seen her in a while either, i'll ask if she wants to hang out". and we found out that A had blocked B on everything and when she finally got a message through A told her that she was ending the friendship (that they've had since they were 3) because B hadn't been there enough for her (mind you this was the year B had had a complete mental breakdown) and she never wanted to see her again (this part isn't directly relevant to the story but think of it as a character reference)

so now, kinda mad at A, i confront her (very very gently) about the fact that i haven't seen her in ages even though she'd been seeing other people. she was really apologetic and said that if she'd known i was feeling like that she would have "prioritised" me above others (so like. completely admitting she had been ignoring me on purpose before). she said we would definitely hang out more - her boyfriend, who she visits quite often, lives in the next city along the train line from me so she suggested stopping along the way and seeing me the next time she saw him.

great! i thought, until the next time she went to see her boyfriend (and the next, and the next) rolled by and she hadn't reached out at all to make plans. so i start to think (with some evidence i would say) that for some reason she doesn't want to see me. obviously not as dramatically as she didn't want to see B, but still enough to literally never speak to me.

coincidentally, i see her bf quite often - whenever our big friend group goes out together when we're all back from uni he always goes, and i asked him a couple times (when quite drunk) if she had a problem with me - he said not, but i'm not sure if i believe him (he's very non-confrontational and nice, and also guys sometimes just don't notice stuff like that)

but THEN a couple weeks ago i talked about it quite deeply with another friend (let's call her C). she's at uni in the same city as the boyfriend so whenever A comes up to visit they hang out for a bit. and then last week A went to see her bf and i saw on instagram that she had seen C. and THEN out of nowhere she messages me like "hey it's been a while! how are you?" so i'm like 99% sure C told her everything i said (which is a whole other issue lmao). and we have a little chat in which i try not to be passive agressive and once again say it would be great to see her (yes, i am that desperate). she says she is doing an art market IN MY CITY next month and i say great lmk when and i'll come along!and she said sure!

and i just saw on instagram today that she is IN MY CITY like not just going through on the train i mean actually here but she literally said nothing to me at all

so girlies be honest (if any of you are even reading this lmao). am i wasting my time and energy? on the plus side i know that if i'd really pissed her off she would have no problem cutting me out completely, so it can't be that bad. but on the other hand i'd almost rather she did that and let me know definitively how she feels because i'm putting so much energy in just to get rejected over and over and my fragile self-esteem can't take much more. anywayyyy how is everyone else what are u doing tonight. i'm going to drink a lot of wine i think :)

[weasleywhimz]

A look into the early days - An Eventual George Weasley Love Story

I write to keep creativity up and for stress relief, and over time this little character and timeline came out of feeling like it wasn’t quite right that George ended up with Angelina. I haven’t fleshed out all my thoughts across the whole timeline, but when I do I will post them here. I’ll attempt to make it chronological but not promises 😅

Words 2.2k

Rating: General, slight allusions to mature themes, uncomfortable teenage bad boyfriend vibes but nothing explicit or too triggering.

Francesca did not consider herself a particularly big fan of quidditch when she first joined Hogwarts in her first year. That was much more her father’s sport, and she was more interested in following the sports from her mother’s muggle past- tennis seemed so much more elegant to her. Besides, she was much more a student of the arts rather than the body, busying herself with choir auditions rather than quidditch try outs.

Still, when your entire friend group is quidditch mad, and most of them on the team itself, it’s hard not to get roped in, at least in some fashion.

“Fran, aren’t you coming? They could’ve started by now!” Lee Jordan admonished her. He accompanied his friends not just for the entertainment, but also the chance to practice his commentary skills, since at least their little group would descend into a match, even if no one else (Harry) wanted to stick around after Oliver’s drills (he usually had other things to chase around with Ron and Hermione). And since Katie joined the team, that’s actually nearly the whole squad anyway.

“I’m coming Lee, I just needed to finish the homework since the twins love to use whatever parchment I bring as some new addition to the balls,” Francesca replied, frantically scribbling the last of her homework. Her friends’ chastising would be as bad as her professor’s if she was late, but the difference would be only her professor could put her in detention, and jeopardise the prefect title she wanted to win next year.

“Swot,” Lee teased as she put the book down and grabbed her Gryffindor scarf.

“I’m not a swot,” she poked him as they hurried down the staircases, “I’m just radically ambitious, I’d probably be in Slytherin if it weren’t for my bravery to put up with you lot. You have no idea how many detentions I’ve saved you guys from by being a teachers pet. They go easy when I’m with you!”

“Suck up then,” Lee corrected, holding the door open for her to pass before him. “Maybe you need to hang out with Fred and George more then. They nearly just got pulled from the team for their detention rate.”

The pair spied the quidditch pitch and could hear the hollering and whoops of laughter of the twins in question, even from their distance.

“I think even if Merlin himself got out of the grave and vouched for the twins, they still wouldn’t stand a chance at escaping detention for the amount they’re caught out of bed after hours,” she joked to the boy in the year above her. “McGonagall may have soft spots but I think the twins have created thick callouses on her.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lee mused, “come on we’d better hurry up.” And the two of them picked up pace.

When they reached the pitch as the team touched down for post-practice break before having a more light hearted fly round, Francesca was a bit pink and windswept from Lee pulling her at a near sprint down to the pitch.

“Blimey Frannie, you’d think you’d just completed practice, not us!” Her classmate Katie Bell joked, nudging her with her broom. The rest of the team grinned as Francesca, sulking, snatched her hand from Lee.

“I could’ve tripped!” She snapped at him, ignoring her friend’s teasing.

“But you didn’t,” he replied, looking to his ginger friends, “and we’re in time for the match right? I got some gold for the next match I want to try out on the speakers!”

“You’re on time,” Fred reassured, still grinning.

“And you don’t look that bad Fran,” George followed, “it’s nice not seeing you all prim for a change!”

Even though she had caught her breath, the colour didn’t get a chance to leave her cheeks from that comment. Before she had a chance to respond, Angelina mounted her broom again and impatiently called to the rest of her friends.

“Are we having a game or what? I want to get full use of the pitch before Ravenclaw comes to use it!” And she sailed up into the sky, Alicia not far behind her.

“Coming?” Katie asked hovering just above the ground, Fred having given Lee a lift up to the stands to save him taking the stairs.

“No I’ll take the stairs,” Francesca replied, “you’re alright.”

Katie didn’t hesitate to soar up and join the other two chasers already tossing a quaffle.

“You’re not scared of brooms are you?” The remaining twin teased, despite Francesca having already turned towards the stairs. She light heartedly rolled her eyes at the his teasing, into her fourth year of Hogwarts now, she was more than used to it.

“No,” she said, turning to face him. George was stretched onto his broom, within touching distance of the ground, he must have been floating just behind her because he was closer than she expected when she turned around. “I just don’t think my boyfriend would be all that pleased I’m on another guy’s broom.”

“Oh, so because of Cormac,” George plastered a cheeky grin onto his face. “I see. Well I suppose the stairs will help to keep you in shape too I suppose, great for the glutes.”

Francesca’s grin faltered, unsure why his comment made her feel a bit sick. George noticed and decided to change the subject, assuming he’d took the banter a bit too far.

“I heard he’s hoping to try out for next year?”

“Yeah,” she said, grateful of the change in tone. “Fancies himself as a keeper. Won’t stop begging me to ask you guys if he can come and practice with you, to be ready for try outs.”

George tilted his head at this.

“You never asked us?”

Francesca’s face turned thoughtful as she made her way over the the stairs for the stands. George followed her, interested in hearing the reason why.

“I guess I like keeping this little group to myself. People think Katie and I are just hangers on to the year above, but it’s because they don’t know what fun we all have,” she turned to look at him for she would disappear up the stairs. “It’s fun.”

George smiled at her, ignoring his brother and friends near enough screaming at him to join them in the sky.

“Plus you don’t want to make him jealous knowing how handsome me, Fred and Lee are, up close,” he had to joke, to add a bit more lightness to a suddenly sincere conversation.

Francesca laughed and kicked the end of his broom to shake him, before he winked and flew up into the sky, and she went to join Lee in the commentator’s box, ready to cringe at his bad jokes and almost traditional poor flirting with Angelina.

Her little friendship group were not as exciting as they seemed to be known for. It was probably Fred and George giving them a reputation by association, but she was still grateful for them. It was like she’d found a little family at Hogwarts, and most of them being from the year above, she enjoyed the sense of protection, and also view to what was coming for her each year. As she watched them play (or listened to them commentate for Lee’s case), she realised how much she had missed them since she’d started dating Cormac McLaggen last year.

She wasn’t the first one to start dating in the group, George and Alicia had even experimented a bit together before he’d briefly dated a Hufflepuff girl last year, and everyone was waiting for Lee to stop flirting with Angelina so she and Fred could realise they fancy the pants off each other. But no one was really happy when Francesca had told them she was with Cormac. The boys’ had had a stronger reaction than the girls (probably having heard things about him they couldn’t share because of some boy rules), but all of them had quickly grown frustrated with the amount of time he was taking of their friend.

In truth she felt torn. Cormac was demanding of her time, but she found herself upsetting him by constantly saying no to his suggestions when they were together that she didn’t feel like she could turn down meeting him altogether. But she did miss her friends.

She and Katie had joined the little group at the end of their first year. She got her introduction, unusually for most students at Hogwarts, not at the hands or as a witness for the twins’ famous pranks, but actually because they’d helped her on one of her first days of class.

Being a first year and totally unused to the moving stairs, despite the warnings from her parents, she had taken a trip while heading up to the astronomy tower, and terrified of falling over the end, dropped the stack of books she insisted on carrying to each class. Already running late and now feeling like she just faced death, as she peered over the railing at her books six floors under her, eleven year old Francesca just burst into tears. And that was when the twins burst out of the common room and into her life.

Fred had soon disappeared to get his brother Charlie to help, while George had stayed gently patting her shoulder and reassuring her that their brother was so cool, and could definitely solve the problem.

She was not focusing on the mini match happening in front of her, despite Lee’s exuberant commentary, or the occasional whip of air as one of them flew close to the stands. She was instead enjoying reminiscing about the beginning of her friendship. They’d soon introduced her to their other friends, and she’d dragged Katie Bell to a secret party near the kitchens she was sure would get them expelled, but refused to miss anyway. And so their little gang was formed.

She didn’t want to ruin her atmosphere with her group by Cormac’s hand sitting too high on her leg, or too low on her back. She didn’t want to imagine the reactions of her friends when he told her to be quiet, or that she shouldn’t sit next to one of the boys. They had different attitudes to her boyfriend in those ways.

She was too lost in thought to notice the quidditch players had finished their match and were floating idly in front of her and Lee, chatting to her older friend about some plans.

“Oi, Fran!” Fred shouted, knocking her out of her daze. “You in or you too busy snogging Cormac tonight?”

“For what?” She asked, trying to pass her frown of discomfort off as pure confusion. She had not been following their discussion after all.

“We’re gonna sneak back some booze tonight through the tunnels,” George said, catching her up. “You know, seeing as Angelina says it’s the last chance to relax before we really have to get serious for the OWLs!”

“Were you listening at all?” Katie asked, laughing at her friend, as Angelina kicked George’s broom for his teasing. “Where were your thoughts?”

“Cormac’s long, hard, muscly-“

“Easy!” Angelina chided Fred.

“Arms! God Angie get your head out the gutter!” Fred finished.

“Will you ever stop teasing me about him? It’s been months now!” Francesca retorted, grabbing her bag. She was always the one to signal to leave the pitch if another team hadn’t shown up first.

“Not likely!” Fred and George chimed in unison, and the whole group laughed.

“So you’re coming?” Lee asked, bringing the topic back to their gathering tonight. He rose from his seat to stop the younger girl dashing for the stairs before she could answer. Since she started dating Cormac, actually the whole year, she’d been more reluctant to join in on their usual antics. Still, she never really missed out on much, but everyone was used to having to needle her into agreeing these days.

“Maybe, only if you agree to only bring butterbeers though,” she gave in, knowing she wouldn’t be allowed to skip it anyway. “Remember I’m aiming for that prefectship. If we’re caught with anything else we’ll get expelled!”

“McGonagall would have to pull you out of her arse first Fran, don’t worry,” Fred joked met only with an eye roll, satisfied with her response began to descend to make his way to the changing rooms.

“Box of butterbeers and one bottle of red currant rum,” George clarified, just as much wanting to brag as he did convince Francesca that she should come. “I transfigured Fred a bit and he managed to get it. It’s waiting in the tunnel though, wouldn’t risk bringing something like the rum up through the school.”

“Okay, okay I’ll be there,” Francesca called in a huff, wanting to get back to the castle. “What time? Seven, eight?”

“Nine,” Alicia confirmed, herself beginning to descend with the other two chasers. Francesca balked at the late start, but didn’t bother arguing, knowing the time she got to bed would be just as late even if they started earlier. She waved off the remained two boys and hurried to make her way back to the castle, hoping she would be able to avoid her boyfriend before the gathering. She was looking forward to the small party, she didn’t want to miss any opportunity to have some teenage fun with friends she was sure would be with her for life.

[helloconfusingfeelings]

have you ever experienced confiding in someone that you trust fully but then watch them become a stranger to you and wonder if your secrets are still safe with them?

I’ve been burned in the past by people using the things I tell them against me so now I am very conscious of who I tell my secrets to. I'm pretty good at keeping my deepest secrects really close by so nearly anything that I fear people knowing about, almost no one knows. But, I can tell you about times I’ve been betrayed

For 6 years, I had a bestest friend. It was me and her against the world. She knew me better than anyone ever had, and I used to worry that she would know me better than anyone ever will. One day, she met cooler friends and stopped liking me. I think she felt too bad telling me that the reason she was ignoring me was because she stopped liking me, so instead she told me that she was going through some major mental health issues. She said she could hang out with other people because they couldn’t tell how bad she was doing, but me and her were so deeply close that I would be able to tell and she wasn’t able to face that. It was a lie, she just stopped liking me. But she kept telling me this for about 5 months whenever I would check up on her and ask to hang out.

When I finally got her to admit that she just stopped liking me, she threw a bunch of things I had confided to her, in my face. She told me that the reason why she hadn’t invited me to hang out with all her new friends was because I had anxiety and that she didn’t want to have to “babysit” me. Those exact words. It just sucks because of all the things I did for her. All the times she was depressed at night and I let her come to my house to sleep over. All the times we would have deep talks about our mental health and would try to grow together. Once the friendship was over, she just threw it in my face. I’m more guarded now with those things. I try to hide my anxiety from people because I don’t want to burden them in the way that she felt burdened by me.

Another example of getting burned was when I first lost my v-card. I lived in a dorm and was extremely close with 6 girls who lived on my floor. When I first had sex, I told the one girl who I felt would be the least judgy. She was very sexually active and open about it so I felt completely safe telling her. Having sex was a big deal to me because I have some intimacy issues I was really struggling with and had confided in her about that. She was the only person I told.

Well, the night after I told her I was in a room with my boyfriend at the time and about 7ish other random guys. Most of whom I did not know. She got mad at my bf for something that he didn’t do. (Very long unimportant story. Basically the girls on the floor were pulling really mean pranks on my bf and one of the boys responded with a note calling her a cheater because she would cheat on her fiancé a bunch. But she thought my bf wrote the note so she got mad at him) She stormed into this room full of guys and started screaming about how he is only dating me because he wants sex and how he finally convinced me to have sex. Screaming about how after he fucks me a few times he’s just gonna leave me in the dirt. Stuff like that. She meant it as a way to get back at him, not to hurt me but holy fuck, it was fucking terrible.

I have major intimacy problems, and a part of that is this shameful feeling I get. I had only felt comfortable telling one person about how I had sex. She told a room full of men, that I not only had sex, but I was just being used for sex. Literally terrible. All the other girls were also mad at me because I kept it a secret from them and didn’t tell them I had lost my virginity. So basically, just a terrible situation LOL. I stayed friends with those girls for a while because, I lived with them and had no one else. They ended up being actual terrible people. I have more crazyyyy stories about them that I could say sometime haha

[girlfrandletters]

Open Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend

This isn't an accusatory letter, nor is it a cry for pity. It's not meant to place blame or cause harm, merely to explain and, maybe, allow for some understanding, on both of our parts.

~~~~~

Hello.

I hope this letter finds you well, and I truly do hope you're living a peaceful happy life right now. I know I am. Even when I am shaken by bouts of anxiety and panic about certain things, I am happy.

I am working at a good practice, as a veterinarian. Whether or not that surprises you, I'll leave that up to you. After so many years of watching me flounder in the stress that school caused me, I hope you are at least a little pleased to know that I did end up making it through to the end. I have two very sweet, loving cats of my own, one a long haired black cat named Azriel, and a short haired black cat named Cassian. They always want to be snuggling with me. I know you would have hated that. There is a third cat, an orange and white girl named Ginger, who belongs to the man I currently live with - I guess she is also technically my cat as well. She was his, but we share an apartment and share our lives and our time so... she's mine too.

Right now I'm lying in bed, him lying next to me, Azriel hugging my arm as I type and Ginger lying at our feet. I'm not sure where Cassian is. I'm thinking about how odd it is to be here, and all the things that had to happen for this to have been made real. I met this guy while on a last scroll through of Tinder before I deleted it forever. I had the Tinder after you broke up with me. You broke up with me after years of clearly being unhappy with me. We had those years because you were the friend of my previous boyfriend, who I met through a work colleague. He started dating me because I was complaining about my first boyfriend and after we had broken up, he had jumped on immediately. It goes on and on. I wouldn't change a moment of any of it, even the bad stuff.

I think I am going to marry this man. I love him deeply and he has been nothing but the most stable support I could ever ask for. I know marriage was never on the table for us, and I never really realized how much of a fundamental difference that was. This guy has made me realize that I am very much ready to get married, have children and really settle down. But it took a lot to get to this point. 2 years in, and I am still having moments of doubt and concern that I am not good enough, that one day, in 2 years, he will decide he's had enough of me and he needs to leave.

You did that to me.

I gave you all of me, wholeheartedly, without real concern. I gave you my precious time, my money, my attention and my affection. And you enjoyed it, for a time. Until you didn't. Not only did you cheat on me and ruin my confidence to its very core, you manipulated me into doing what you wanted, got annoyed when I wouldn't talk to you about how I was feeling, then put me down for feeling certain ways when I did work up the courage to speak to you. You got angry when I would take the time to gather my thoughts and send them to you in a text message, claiming you hated the "novels" I sent. And I'm starting to realize you never actually read a single one of them. Because I told you things that were very dear to me and important to me and the working of our relationship... and you completely ignored them. You used to get annoyed when I would have my moments of panic in school, telling me that if I wasn't confident in myself, that I'd never be a vet and I should just give up and do something else then. How do you say that to someone? You put down my fears and anxieties, then got mad when I joked about yours. You made me feel like I was crazy for being upset for you not answering the phone for hours - after you told me you'd be ready for a call in 10 minutes. I realize that being long distance was hard, and I know that maybe the times when we had time differences made it different. But towards the end, I would cry myself to sleep, cause I hoped to talk to you at least to say good night before I went to bed, and you wouldn't answer - not even to tell me you were busy. Then called 2 hours later, when it was 1 or 2 in the morning for me. I used to lose sleep, waiting for you to call me back.

The night Jacqui messaged me, with her message about sleeping with the same guy, I thought it couldn't possibly be real. You would never do that to me. And when I woke you up, when I heard the way you responded when I told you about her... that's when my heart broke. And I'm not entirely sure it was ever truly fixed after that. I tried to do everything to make it work. I tried an open relationship because that's what you wanted. You explained your feelings about having different people in a way that didn't make sense to me, but I tried anyway because I wanted to make this work. I even tried to sleep with someone while I was at school. I thought, if you had someone, then maybe I could try it. I couldn't. It made me physically ill to kiss another person, knowing that I was in love with you. I put so much into changing my beliefs and desires for you. And then when I finally told you that I couldn't do it, you said that you knew that. You knew I'd never be able to do an open relationship. And yet you continued to watch me struggle with it.

The day that Jacqui wrote that horrible comment on a photo - asking if the photo was taken before or after you told her I wasn't good enough for you - and you sided with her. You told me to not be so sensitive, not to allow other people to affect my emotions like that. You told me to stop crying because I needed to grow up, instead of telling her to not disrespect your girlfriend. I think I knew then that we would never make it far together. I still tried, I think, to save face. I had defended you and our relationship to my family for so long, I couldn't just give up on it now. I continued to allow myself to endure the emotional abuse because I didn't want my mother to say "I told you so." And you know her, she absolutely would have.

In that final year, I started to wonder what it would be like to break up with you, to no longer have you as a fixture in my life. And I found that...

I wasn't upset with the idea.

I didn't cry because I feared losing you. I would worry more so about how I would make it happen. HOW I could make it happen. I was always terrible with communication. But I thought that maybe at the right time, I could tell you I'd had enough. But I never could. I couldn't bring myself to cause that heartache to you. But now I know that I should have, and it wouldn't have caused you much heartache at all.

I wonder sometimes if you felt anything at all after you hung up the phone that day. I wonder if you knew that I cried for the whole night, not really for you and for us and what we just lost... but because it was over, and I had let myself endure so much for so long... to be told that I wasn't good enough.

I'm not fully in the clear in this, and I am aware of this fact. I clung to you like a drowning man clings to driftwood. I made you out to be this savior, to be my salvation and that was unfair. I came to you with anxieties and worries that you were not mentally equipped to deal with. You pretended like you did in the beginning, but as we got further along, you realized that it was more than just a rich-bitch-crying-for-help type of thing. I think you started to realize just how deeply fucked up I was, and you were not able to handle yourself and me at the same time. And I'm not blaming you for that. Over the last few months, I've learned that there was a lot of deep seated past traumas that were so far repressed in me, that I didn't even know how to acknowledge them, and yet they dictated a lot of how I acted, and felt, and thought. And I used you as my driftwood. Which was unfair. I held you to a standard you could never have been, not at that time. When you weren't Just Perfect, I got upset. When you didn't say the right thing, I would cry. When you tried to have a healthy balance of life, I got jealous. Can you believe that I used to. get jealous of RetroFitness, because of all the time you spent there? It's so stupid, I know, but I was jealous of that time, because that was time that we were not together. I was not a healthy person, though I thought I was. Seeing where I am now, I can see that I was as far from healthy as a cancer patient. I was a dying human.

I don't think you really knew the full extent to which I felt my emotions. I never really got to explain them fully to you. And I hope you'll bear with me as I go through these next few thoughts. Again, I mean them not to garner pity, but merely for you to understand the things that made me who I was and am.

I was passively suicidal. I would think about cars hitting me while I drove, I fantasized about a burglar breaking into our house and either killing me as a primary crime, or to remove a witness. I can't tell you how many times I used to sit on the beach, and wonder what would happen if I just swam out too far and drowned. That first night we ever talked on videochat in that stupid dingy Philly apartment, you were seeing an aftermath of one of the worst raging panic attacks I've ever had. I've only ever had 2 since that moment. I know I told you this, but you cannot understand the abject terror I felt when I blinked and realized I was standing in the kitchen with the largest kitchen knife held over my wrist. I don't remember going to the kitchen. I barely remember making it inside the apartment. I've never used a knife before. I cut myself with my fingers. I scratched and scratched and scratched until I hurt deeply. I used to drink myself into blackness every night because I thought maybe one day, I just wouldn't wake up. You seemed like a light at the time, and I grasped you and held you aloft and used you to work my way out of that darkness.

But I ended up feeling more alone as time went on. I realized that you couldn't save me, nor should I have ever expected you too. I lost my ability to be able to talk to you, I lost the outlet I once had. I had all these pent up feelings and no way to release them. And I started to get more and more in my own head, more and more incapable of accepting and working through my traumas and flaws. By the time you broke up with me, I was a shell of what I should have been, I felt unloved, unappreciated, underwhelming, and like I'd never be good enough for you. Or anyone for that matter. I tried to use that time afterwards to heal, but I wasn't ready for that. I was able to drink without fear of disappointing you. I was able to sleep with whoever I wanted for whatever reason I wanted and I did. I fucked guys because they were attractive for a night. I fucked them because I wanted to erase the memory of you. There was one guy though, a guy who I thought was just going to be around for a night, but ended up making the rest of my time in school bearable. But he ended up just increasing those feelings you had instilled in me. Not that he's super important to what I have to tell you. But he was another person who I allowed to push me and manipulate me and get me to that ledge where, with one more word, he could have sent me spiraling to my death.

....

It's funny.

The night I started talking to the guy I'm with now, I was going to quit online dating and go on that mediative reflective journey to "find myself" and "become a better me," or whatever horseshit phrase the cool kids are saying now.

In the end, I did go on that journey, but I did it with him by my side.

Since being with him, I've realized all the things that I'd been missing with you. He provided me with the unconditional support, the encouragement, the sex, the affection, the interest that I never really got from you - not to the capacity that I needed it. He was able to see where I was going wrong and steer me in the right direction, whether or not me meant to do that. I'll never presume to know where you were in your own mental health journey, but I think he understood where I was a lot better, because he had been to that brink as well. You used to talk a lot about wanting to "jump off a cliff." But I don't know if you were ever actually at that point. You loved life too much. You loved attention and people and stories. Not to sound like an asshole, but you were, in a way, a very selfless person and would never have actually killed yourself.

But this guy... he stood on a bridge and contemplated that jump, just like I sat on a cliff and contemplated mine.

When I was in the throws of a raging panic attack, struggling to gulp down air to breath, clawing at my skin, crying until my eyes burned, he was able to talk me through a lot of things that made me realize that a lot of what I felt and how I reacted was from the way I grew up, from the things that happened when I was a kid, and even before then. Before my adoption, before I was really cognizant of what was happening. Without boring you, I can say that he helped me realize that I have a very deep core fear of abandonment, likely from being left by my birth family. I have a fear of attachment and, ironically, touch, because of what happened with my brother. When I am in a very bad spiral, I can't stand being touched. I don't know if you ever knew that.

The point of all this is to say that he knew the right words, the right actions, the right looks and touches. He knows how to communicate to me when I am in a spiral, no matter how deep. And he knows how to talk about his own concerns - paranoias and fears and worries, and stresses.

We are a couple of people with similar experiences and are able to share them with each other. You and I were never a couple who could do that. And I think that, at its core, is what kept us from working. We were two vastly different people. We were not "the same people with different view points," as I like to see myself and this guy. We were two very different people with two very different view points.

But I have found the person that I am going to marry, the one I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I am happy with him, and comfortable. I like what we have built and I look forward to what we will be continuing to build in the future.

I hope you have found the same, or that you will find the same. I know everybody grows up, everybody becomes different given enough time. And I can only hope that you have found a way of life that is good for you. I hope you've got a life that you are content with and I hope you have a long life, for whatever it's worth. I never wished any ill to you, even if those videos of me cutting that pillow and breaking that mug might speak otherwise.

I know you will never read this, and this letter is actually not even the important things I wanted to say. Maybe I'll write a different one next time, more concise, to the point. To drive those points home that actually matter. But until then, I'll be happy with this novel of word vomit and hope it brings me a little more peace to help me sleep at night.

Sincerely, Your Ex-Girlfriend

[heavenknowsffs]

.

[volleychumps]

Heyy! Can you do one where Osamu, kuroo, akaashi and Tsukishima, say something mean to their s/o and their s/o avoids them for days? When they finally get ahold of their s/o, their s/o just sorta cries because it hit their insecure spot? Fluff in the end🥺

Listen, I can’t not write this. 

Irrevocable Words. 

- the one in which they accidentally make you give them the silent treatment because of their lashing out. -

~ Osamu Miya, Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji, and Tsukishima Kei~ 

TW: Cursing, angst to fluff, timeskip! for Osamu, 

------------------

Osamu Miya

“Those are important files, ya know?” 

“Samu, I’m sorry. You should’ve told me you needed last month’s earnings and I would’ve looked for them before we came this morning.” The hand you tried to settle onto Osamu’s bicep was shaken off as your movements faltered. 

Your voice wobbled at the sight of your stoic fiance, an annoyed glint in his eye as he rummages through his files. Osamu felt a flare in his stomach, a lack of sleep contributing to his impatient state. The day had been a busy one, Osamu deciding that he needed this particular file for his business call tomorrow before the two of you headed home for the night. 

“I told ya not to move anything back to the place.”

“I didn’t.” You bit the inside of your cheek. “Here, just let me help-” 

“Don’t touch a goddamn thing, I’ll do it myself.” There it was. The lashing out that was bound to happen occurred with a pointed tongue as he refused to look at you, rummaging through his file cabinets. “As I do everything else.” 

He closes the cabinet sharply. “The least ya could do is try your best not to be a nuisance-” 

Osamu flinches at the slam of one of the office desk drawers, chest sinking when he sees the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. The paper he needed is thrown on the desk carelessly as you shove your jacket on, wetness slipping down your cheeks.

“And I’m not your goddamn secretary. I’m heading home first.” 

“Y/N-” 

“And don’t worry, I promise I’ll manage to do this by myself somehow.” Your voice cracks bitterly, the bell by the door jingling mockingly in Osamu’s ears as you exit, the chef hanging his head with a sigh and regret tinging his chest.

He was wrong to pray this would blow over, not expecting to wake without your warmth by his side. You avoided him on the way to the restaurant, cleaning quietly while giving vague answers to his questions, shifting out of his attempts to embrace you with apologies. 

Deciding to give you space, he softly tells you to take the next few days off, unprepared for the tired look you had given him, simply nodding in response as you slipped into your side of the bed with your back turned to him.

“Where’s your pretty girlfriend?” 

“Fiance.” Osamu forces a smile at his two elderly regulars two days later, the wife’s smile widening at his correction. 

“Oho! Cherish each other while you youths still can, she really does brighten this place up, doesn’t she?” 

You do.

Osamu’s eyes feel hot as he does a messy job of cleaning up the restaurant, closing up shop early and stopping by your favorite bakery to pick up the ridiculously expensive cake he only ever buys for your birthday. 

Throwing the door open to your shared apartment hastily, you gasp at the gray-haired man’s sudden entry, dropping the spoon you were about to use to taste the dish you were making on the stove.

“Samu, y-you’re home early-” 

“What’s all this?” He tries to steady his breaths at the sight of a nicely prepared table, something you hardly ever got to share ever since the night shifts overtook your lives and caused a rift between the two of you. 

You’re silent for a second, looking away from his warm stare as you shift under his gaze. 

“...I miss you.” Dark eyes widen when you begin to hiccup over your words, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. “But I didn’t wanna be a nusciance-”

“Oh god, darlin’ no.” You’re pulled tightly into his chest as you cry, whole body shaking with tremors as Osamu’s inner turmoil merely increases.

If Osamu could go back in time and punch himself he would, unknowing of the torment he caused you over the past few days, thinking you just needed space. 

“I want to marry ya Y/N, I’m so sorry.” 

“I love you so much Samu.” You sniffle into his chest, causing him to smile softly, a hand sifting through your hair to hold you tighter to him. 

“I brought cake.” 

You laugh through the onslaught of tears. 

“And I made dinner.” 

“Then what are we waitin’ for?” 

“Just hold me like this for awhile?”

“Y/N.” He kisses the top of your head, finally feeling at ease with your figure in his arms. Osamu whispers a confession he hardly shared with you, wanting those words in particular to be special as he bridged the gap between the two of you.

“I love ya so much more, don’t you go forgettin’ it.”

Kuroo Tetsurou

“I said I was sorry!” 

“Is sorry supposed to just fix everything, Tetsurou?” 

“Tetsurou? Are you seriously withholding me from my nickname privileges?” 

You cross your arms at his attempt to make you laugh, thoroughly angry with the mess your boyfriend made of things as his smile fades at your peeved stare. 

“Look, what was I supposed to do?” 

“How about not leaving my parents waiting for you at the restaurant that you invited them to for another one of your spontaneous volleyball practices?” 

“I texted you I had to cancel!” 

“That was a half hour before we were supposed to meet, Kuroo! They were so excited to meet you they got there early. God, why can’t you ever take things seriously?” 

“You’re right.” A bitter chuckle slips Kuroo’s lips as you falter at the sudden tone change, the volleyball gym seeming bigger than ever as his next sentence makes your lips tremble.

“Since I can’t ever take things seriously, then I must not need my serious girlfriend then, right?” Your eyes widen. “I can just find somebody else who won’t fucking hound me all the time.”

His cat-like eyes widen as the words slip his tongue, unintentionally coming out crueler than he intended. To make it worse, you simply stayed silent, your body physically backing down and away from him as you turned on your heel. 

“Wait, I didn’t-” 

“Do it then.” His chest just about shatters as your shoulders tremble, refusing to turn back around as your voice takes on an uncharasterically defeated tone. “I hope they make you fucking happy.” 

Kuroo runs a hand through his raven hair frustratedly at the way you rushed out of the gym, throwing a stray ball so hard at the wall before his vision becomes skewed with heat. 

He should have expected the next week to be utter hell. You left class before he could catch you by escaping to the bathroom with all your things, leaving school another way instead of the exit you always took together before he had to start club activities. 

“Kenma, what are you doing?” 

“You can’t come in here.” 

“I’m missing class for this. Let me through.” 

“She doesn’t want to see you.” Kenma shrugged, eyes on his handheld. “I told her I’d watch the door so you can’t surprise her during our breaktime.” 

“I’m her boyfriend. And you’re not her guarddog.” 

“No, I’m her friend.” Kenma’s eyes narrow at his childhood friend. “And last time I checked, you’re on the search for someone who isn’t her.” 

“So she told you.” 

“Dick move, by the way.” 

Kuroo’s calls go straight to voicemail, his emotions affecting his playing with each passing day. He leaves little notes in your shoe locker to meet him, heart sinking more and more with every time you stood him up. 

And it wasn’t until he saw you smiling again at a joke Yaku made that he truly felt like he was losing you. 

“Go home.” 

The sight wasn’t one you were expecting to see, Kuroo sitting on the steps to your house with his hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets, the dark bags under his eyes sparking worry within you. 

“It’s probably better if my parents don’t see you-” 

“I’m sorry.” His eyes seem to have lost a little of their glint, regret swimming in the tall boy’s pupils as your guard softens. “I’m so goddamn sorry I ran my mouth and said shit I didn’t even mean-” 

“Tetsurou-” 

“And I hurt you in the process. I hurt the one thing that matters to me the most, and I’m sitting here playing the creepy ex that stalks the girl he loves-” 

“You love me?”

“Doesn’t matter, does it? You’re done with me, and I deserve it-” 

He’s cut off with the sight of tears hitting the wood in front of him, lifting his head to see tears streaking down your cheeks. On instinct, he reaches out softly, rising to his feet to cup your cheek, astonished when you curl into his touch. 

“I’m so fucking mad at you right now.” 

“Noted.” Kuroo laughs somberly, a wave of emotion hitting him as you do something you hadn’t done in days. 

You look him in the eye, tugging him closer by the sides of his jacket. 

“But I love you too, you absolute idiot.” 

Kuroo grins into the kiss you press onto his lips, heart lifting in weight as he pulls you closer. 

“Does this mean we can go back to Tetsu?” 

“I’m going back to ignoring you-” 

“No.” Kuroo’s tone turns serious as he holds you a little tighter. “I can’t do that again.” 

You smile as he presses a kiss to your temple lovingly. 

“Being away from you was complete and utter hell, sweetheart.” 

Akaashi Keiji

“Tell me how to make this right.”

“Right, Y/N.” Akaashi refused to meet your eyes as he loosens his school tie, not slowing his pace for you to catch up with as he throws the doors open to the volleyball club. The usually put-together setter had an angry glint in his eye that silenced his awaiting teammates. “Let’s just go back in time before you agreed to be his partner.”

“Hey hey, what’s going on you two?” Bokuto jogs up, his worried tone making your lips tremble even more at the sight of Akaashi’s turned back.

“I came to you as soon as he made a move! I didn’t let him-”

“There shouldn’t have been an opportunity for him to make a move in the first place.” Akaashi’s jaw clenched as you shuffle in place.

“I didn’t do anything wrong, you think I wanted him to try to kiss me?!” You fight the waver in your voice, standing your ground. “It was a project for class. I didn’t know his intentions-“

“I told you what his intentions were, but you never listen.” Akaashi turns hastily, startling you and causing you to stumble slightly backwards into Bokuto.

“Akaashi-“

“Stop defending her. She never listens to me, and then comes crying to me when it turns out I’m right.” Akaashi snips at his best friend, ignoring the silent stares from his quiet teammates. “Why can’t you get it through your head, Y/N? I’m not your goddamn babysitter-“

“You’re right.” You interrupt, fingernails biting into your palms as you choke back a sob. “You’re not, you’re my boyfriend. I just wanted to respect you by coming to you with something like this, but it turns out I’m just a hinderance.”

Akaashi falters for a second, blue eyes widening a fraction at the angry heat that fills your eyes as regret begins to bubble in his stomach at his harsh words.

“Y/N-“

“Give me some space, Keiji.” You say softly, patting Bokuto’s arm to let you through as your shoulders sink in a defeated manner. “I promise I won’t come crying to you about anything else.”

Your steps echo as you walk out of the gym, Konoha breaking the silence first when the door shuts behind you.

“Hate to say it, but that was well-deserved, man.”

Akaashi closes his eyes, head falling back towards the ceiling as he tries to steady his breathing, pretending like he wasn’t scared of you slipping through his fingers. He willed himself to not allow himself to chase after you, his anger directed towards you fading as he forces himself to respect your wishes. 

It was obvious you were avoiding him. Akaashi had blinked when Bokuto had self-proclaimed that he needed you as his “study buddy” during breaks when you weren’t even in the same year as the owlish boy. It got worse when you seemed to panic when Akaashi willed you to talk to him, eyes refusing to meet his watery blue ones as you pushed him further away.

So he gave you your space, wilting with each passing day. It wasn’t until he accidentally bumped into you a week later, the setter turning hastily on his heel to walk in the opposite direction before a soft tug on the back of his school shirt wills him to stop. 

“Keiji.” Your wobbly voice makes him turn back around immediately, a soft palm already cupping your cheek gently. “I’m s-” 

“I’m sorry for being cruel.” The words are whispered against your forehead, Akaashi’s heartstrings tugging in the worst way possible. “I was angry at the situation, my love. And that sorry excuse you call a classmate. Please,” 

His grip tightens just a little more as he feels wet warmth drip into the palm that was cupping your face.

“Forgive me.” 

“I told you I wouldn’t come crying to you-” 

“I want it all, Y/N.” Akaashi pulls back slightly, voice cracking slightly as blue stares intensely into your irises. “I want all of you. Tears included.”

You swat his chest playfully as Akaashi manages a soft smile, hand threaded through your hair as he presses you against his chest.

“Do you still need space?” He murmurs, and you smile at the sound of his hearbeat picking up as he awaited your answer fearfully. 

“Nope. The exact opposite, please hold me?” 

His embrace relaxes immediately, and your heart skips a beat at the sound of his relieved sigh, his slight nod making the weight lift off your chest. 

“Good, now I can take care of your classmate-” 

“Keiji-”

“Nope, my love.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, Akaashi’s eyes swirling with devotion. 

“No one gets to try anything with you so long as you’re safe with me.” 

Tsukishima Kei 

“So I’m the bad guy again.” 

“Do you want the honest answer, Kei?” You exhaustedly run a hand through your hair as Tsukishima’s scowl deepens, his long legs easily catching up with you in stride as he tugs on your wrist as the rambunctious court gets further and further away. 

“It’s not my fault you’re insecure.” 

You flinch. “Well maybe you shouldn’t let the girls in the stands cling to you after your matches. They were all over you, Tsukki! And you didn’t seem to mind it one bit.” 

“What?” Annoyance brims the blonde’s voice as he takes another step forward, clenching his jaw when he sees the quiver in your lip, distrust filling the atmosphere between the two of you. 

“Afraid that they’re prettier or better than you’ll ever be?” 

You feel as if the wind was knocked out of your lungs, breath catching in your throat at his insinuation. His guard slackens almost immediately, clicking his tongue before turning away, too proud to apologize for the words he regretted as soon as they slipped his tongue like venom. 

“Yeah.” You laugh humorlessly, making brown eyes dart over to your expression immediately. “You’re 100% correct. I am afraid you’ll find someone better than me in all aspects. Because I love you, you absolute asshole. Is that what you wanted to hear?” 

The silence that befalls the two of you in the deserted hall is broken when you flinch away when Tsukishima tries to take a step towards you. 

“I didn’t-” 

“You never mean to do anything, Kei.” You say in a hushed tone, turning your back on him in an attempt to shield the hot tears slipping down your cheeks. “But you somehow always manage to.” 

The win for Karasuno didn’t mean much to the blonde that night, hoping that this would just go away and things would be back to normal. However, it was anything but. You didn’t look his way once in class, disappearing when it was over. Your voice trembled as you had avoided his seemingly stoic eyes through his frames, simply stating that you wished for some time away from him. 

He was fine. Or at least pretending to be on the outside. In truth, he would never find better, because you were it for him, words that you would never catch slipping his mouth. So he put on a front, pretending that your absence had zero effect on him whatsoever. Pretending the brush of your body against him in the hall as you pass each other didn’t make the blonde want to cave. 

It was the smile you shot at Hinata during one of your breaks that caused him to. The first glint in your eye in awhile, and it had been caused by him of all people, prompting the tall middle blocker to tug you by the forearm into the corridor.

“Tsukishima-” 

“I hate this.” 

You falter for a second, guard back up in a flash as your back touches the wall. “What did I do?” 

“You didn’t do anything, and it’s pissing me off.” 

“I don’t follow-” 

“I was wrong.” His forehead touches your shoulder as you stiffen before relaxing against his familiar touch. “I don’t care how many times I have to apologize. You win, okay? I’m sorry.” 

“This is a rather aggressive apology-” 

“Y/N.” Tsukishima lifts his head so it’s level with your height, unprepared for the way tears brimmed your eyes at the proximity, your guard diminishing. 

“What if you do find someone better one day, Tsukki?” Your voice cracks, inner fears trickling to the surface. “Do I need to prepare myself to lose you-?” 

You gasp as Tsukishima’s jaw ticks before kissing you intensely, his hand touching your lower back to pull you closer. 

“No. You don’t need to do something stupid like that.” His eyes were slightly glaring at you, a flush across both his cheeks. “Because there is no one better than you, okay?” 

It was your turn for heat to flood your cheeks as your eyes widen a fraction, his breath tickling your ear as you stutter. “Kei-” 

“I love you too. I said it, are you satisfied now?”  

---------------------------------------------------------

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[siderealscribblings]

“I am ninety-nine percent sure I know who Chat Noir is.”

It was a heck of a thing to drop out of the blue, but since Marinette revealed her identity to Ladybug, Marinette had gotten used to Alya texting or calling at odd hours with sudden revelations.

(“THAT’S how you knew Lila was lying?!”)

(“So when you skipped on our hangout sess a few months ago, was it because-”)

(“I’m just saying, I know I guy who might be able to doxx Hawk Moth.”)

Unlike her usual stunning revelations though, this one was not one Marinette already knew.

“Okay,” Marinette said, blinking to keep her eyes from completely bugging out of their sockets. “How do you-”

“I just felt like I should be honest, you know?” Alya chuckled. “Since...you know-”

“Yeah, no...thanks,” Marinette said, slightly dazed. “I...um...how do you know?”

“Well...let’s just say I noticed a pattern,” Alya said, chewing on the corner of her lip. “Do you want to know who-”

“No,” Marinett said, before quickly adding. “I mean...it would be better to keep things between us secret for now.”

Alya opened her mouth, an argument on the tip of her tongue, but seemed to swallow it with a nod. “Okay...yeah, sure, I get it.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust him,” Marinette said quickly, maybe more for her own benefit than Alya’s. “I do! I swear! I just-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Alya said quickly.

“And he’s wanted to reveal ourselves to each other for a long time,” Marinette muttered, ignoring Alya’s easy-out. “I was the one who insisted we keep our identities secret and I’m just...really, really not looking forward to the conversation where I tell him I was the one to break our no-sharing rule...you think he’ll be mad?”

“You tell me ,” Alya said, throwing her hands up. “He’s your partner-”

“He’s going to be mad ,” Marinette moaned, burying her face in her hands. “And hurt and-”

“And...so what?” Alya asked.

“So he’s my partner and we already have this...trust...thing between us,” Marinette sighed. “Long story short the last Guardian wasn’t a very good teacher to him and he’s had to deal with being locked out of the loop before...I just worry that I keep asking him to trust me while constantly keeping secrets from him.”

“And he’s keeping one from you,” Alya said gently. “Kind of a crappy situation all around but...well, let’s just say I think he’s a really understanding guy.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who constantly has to just understand me though,” Marinette said with a wince. “Sorry, I don’t mean to keep dumping all my Ladybaggage on you.”

“I’ll tell you if I’ve had enough,” Alya said firmly, squeezing Marinette’s wrist. “I don’t mind; really.”

If she lived another hundred years, she would never stop trying to return the kindness and understanding Alya had displayed to her since revealing her identity.

“Thanks,” Marinette said,, the movie on the screen forgotten as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “So...n-not that I’m prying for details but...this guy you think is Chat Noir-”

“Sounds like you’re prying for details,” Alya snickered. “Don’t tell me you’re curious about him.”

“Of course I am!” Marinette huffed. “Wouldn’t you be?”

“I don’t need to be curious; I figured out my boyfriend’s identity by myself,” Alya said smugly. “You want covert deets?”

Marinette weighed her words carefully before speaking. “Is he...out of costume...when he goes home...is he happy?”

Alya’s expression was unreadable for a long moment. “Do you want the truth or...do you want me to say something that will make you feel good?”

“Well that tells me the truth probably sucks, doesn’t it?” Marinette sighed, rubbing her eyes. “He’s got...he’s got a lot of friends, right?”

“He has a...few really good ones,” Alya reasoned.

“And his family?” Marinette asked.

“His family...exists,” Alya said as diplomatically as she could. “Look, we’re treading on major spoiler territory here; can you tell me what you want to know so I can pull it out from all the other information?”

Marinette stared down at her hands thoughtfully for a moment. “...being the Guardian by myself has been one of the loneliest times in my life. I have you now; I had Master Fu for a lot longer than he did. It would make me feel better if I knew Chat Noir was...okay outside the suit. But I think you just answered my question.”

“Look, I can’t tell you how he feels,” Alya said, rubbing Marinette’s shoulder gently. “I can’t read minds, Mari...but-”

“You think I should tell him about me?” Marinette asked hesitantly.

“I think that’s your call,” Alya said. “Do you want my advice?”

“You think I should talk to him,” Marinette said, deflating a little.

“If he finds out from someone who isn’t you, it’s not gonna do wonders for the whole Trust thing you got going on,” Alya said. “And...look, I think it’s great you reached out to me. And I think whatever you want to do with your identity is your business...but I think he deserves the same opportunity to confide in someone. In fact...I think he really needs it.”

“But how do I know he’ll pick the right person?” Marinette blurted out. “What if he picks someone who Hawk Moth compromises and-”

“Didn’t you just say you trusted him?” Alya asked, stopping Marinette’s catastrophizing in her tracks.

“I do...I promise I do...but-”

“You either do or you don’t,” Alya said softly. “And telling him that you broke your rules and he can’t is not going to convince him you trust him. Saying you trust someone is like saying you’re going to work out; you don’t get the results unless you actually do it.”

“I could pick someone for him,” Marinette muttered, looking up at Alya. “Someone trustworthy.”

“Someone you trust,” Alya said. “This has to be someone he trusts. Or else what’s the point?”

“You already know though!” Marinette said.

“ Hey Chat Noir, I completely trust you with my life but also, I’m going to make the choice of who you can and can’t talk to about your personal business,” Alya said, watching Marinette’s nose wrinkle in irritation. “Tell me how that chat is going to go.”

“You know ignoring your advice is getting harder now that you know about me,” Marinette grumbled, crossing her arms.

“Ignore it if you want; just don’t be surprised if this pushes you apart,” Alya shrugged.

“It won’t, he’ll…” Marinette trailed off. “He wouldn’t stop being my partner over this, right?”

“And if he did?” Alya probed. “Just pick a new Chat Noir.”

“I don’t-” Marinette swallowed, shaking her head. “No...I don’t want another Chat Noir.”

“Then you’re going to have to keep this one,” Alya said, squeezing her shoulder. “That means being honest and fair with your partner; if not about your identity, then about his .”

Marinette nodded mutely, turning her gaze back to the movie as Alya stood up. “Want something from the kitchen?”

“I’m good,” Marinette said, fidgeting with her bracelet as she tried not to dread the conversation she knew she had to have.

---

To his credit, the storm of accusations she imagined would come out of Chat Noir’s mouth did not come; Ladybug might have felt better if they did.

Instead, her partner looked dazed, blinking and nodding as his gaze turned away from her. “...okay-”

“I swear this is not about you,” Ladybug said quickly, tugging on Chat Noir’s arm as he turned away from her. “And it doesn’t mean I don’t trust you! I swear I do.”

“No I...I understand,” Chat Noir said, the cheer in his voice becoming more and more forced. “Um...you know, I-I have a lot of homework to do tonight-”

“Chat...please look at me,” Ladybug said, tilting her partner’s face towards hers. Of course she had made him cry, but she tried to push down her guilt. This wasn’t about what she did; given the same choice, she would have picked Alya again, even if it meant hurting Chat Noir in the process.

“I know I don’t have a lot of opportunities to display how much I trust you,” Ladybug said, licking her lips. “So it probably feels like I just tossed aside a huge chance to show how much you mean to me...but this was about me doing what I needed-”

“You don’t need to...you’re the Guardian-”

“That doesn't make me your master !” Ladybug said emphatically, startling Chat Noir out of his daze. “That doesn’t mean I can control who you talk to and who you confide in! I still...I still think we’re too close and rely on each other too much to jeopardize our working relationship...but if there’s someone in your life you trust, I...I want you to have the same opportunity. To confide in someone you trust.”

“Not you though,” Chat Noir muttered.

“There has to be someone else,” Ladybug said almost desperately. “Tell me I’m not the only person in your life you can rely on…”

Alya had been such a positive force in her life since she had told her; she thought back to all the times they had stayed up late talking, all the times Alya had listened to her vent about akuma, all the nights she held her hand because she had watched Chat Noir die to save her yet again.

Was there no one Chat Noir could turn to when he was alone?

Chat Noir seemed to chew it over for a long moment, blinking back tears still as he tried to grapple with the fact his relationship with Ladybug had shifted out from underneath him yet again. “...do I have to tell you who it is?”

“I think it’s better if you don’t,” Ladybug said softly. “Sorry...if I knew who you trusted, I might be able to figure out who you are. This way...I’m not the only one keeping secrets-”

“I don’t want to keep secrets,” Chat Noir grumbled.

“I know,” Ladybug sighed. “And I promise, I swear, the minute Hawk Moth is gone, there will be no more secrets between us! This... mess of half-truths and half-lies will end and we can just be-”

The idea of being something to Chat Noir outside the mask was something not even Alya knew; a secret all her own that might never come to light.

“This is just for now,” Ladybug said firmly. “Not forever.”

Chat Noir nodded, once again resigned to a fate someone else had picked for him. “I get it...I do.”

“Are you mad at me?” Ladybug asked.

Chat Noir weighed the answer for a long moment. “...no,” Chat Noir said with a shrug. “Just...can we pick this up some other time? I wasn’t kidding about the homework.”

For the first time there was a real wall between her and Chat Noir and Ladybug was shocked by how much she detested it.

“I understand,” Ladybug said quietly. “But I meant what I said when I said you should find someone to turn to. I wish I could help you with everything, but-”

“For now...you can’t,” Chat Noir nodded, putting on a brave face. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Ladybug let Chat Noir slip out of her fingertips, momentarily reaching out to pull him back before thinking better of herself. She didn’t expect him to be sunshine and rainbows after telling him, but as firm as she was in her convictions, it still sucked to see him in pain.

Just deal with it yourself like he has to, Ladybug thought as she watched Chat Noir turn and dive off the roof of the building. Alya’s had enough on her plate...you don’t need to bother her with-

Her resolve lasted until she transformed, blinking back tears as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

---

“Did I do the right thing?”

Alya said nothing, running her hands through Ladybug’s hair as she laid her head on her lap.

“Sometimes...doing the right thing hurts people as a result,” Alya said carefully. “It’s just a sucky part of life.”

“I hate it,” Ladybug sniffed, wiping her eyes with another tissue. “I think he thinks I love keeping secrets from him but...I really hate it. It makes me feel so alone...and I don’t want him to feel that way either.”

“And he can figure out how to feel less alone himself now,” Alya said soothingly. “This guy...I know he has at least one really great friend.”

“Like you?”

“...maybe a little better,” Alya said fondly. “I know he’d move earth to put a smile on Chat Noir’s face, so maybe let this problem fall in his lap instead of yours. You don’t have to do everything to make everyone happy all the time.”

“I want to,” Ladybug muttered.

“ Everybody includes you ,” Alya said firmly. “Take care of yourself first ; let Chat Noir take care of himself now.”

“I worry about him though,” Ladybug said quietly.

Alya glanced down at her phone, seeing a message from Nino flash on her screen.

Nino: hey babe

Nino: can’t make it tonight

Nino: adrien sounds really upset and said he wanted to talk to me about something

“Don’t." Alya smiled as she laid the phone on the bed beside her. “He’s in good hands.”

Ao3