Wanted to do a random character design so I brought back the classic Spotify adventurer generator which happened to give me something that worked really well with this text post. Her name’s Melonon “Melon” Thinae, she’d best be described as somewhere between a small quivering dog and a leaf barely holding onto a branch in a light wind, and I love her so much.
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new middle aged woman dnd character? yes
bonus: her little witch gf named lea
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LAVENDER haze is NOT one GIANT easter egg for speak now (tv) bc that would be TOO GOOD. and we would notice, right? RIGHT??
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My friend has been referring to Ben gross as Josh grobe and has only realised she was wrong after her 3rd rewatch of the series
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i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue
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My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.
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my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"
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bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time
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the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that
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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.
I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.
One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.
The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?
The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”
I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.
It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.
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Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo
Shes just a fucking baby
Baby with a 60% successful kill rate
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gertrude
[ID: a picture of an old, grumpy-looking brown tabby cat gazing dead-eyed into the camera.]
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