#she’s amazing. no notes on her character at all. gods evil sister breaks out and drags him for being the shitter bisexual of the two of them

[quietwingsinthesky]

i love that one of the things amara says about chuck is that he “always had terrible taste in men.” amara what does that mean. men didn’t exist yet. what are you talking about. were you peeking outside of your prison just to see how shit your brother was at picking up guys.

[ayuuria]

Yashahime Translation: Animage Magazine February 2021 Issue

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

Regarding the Boy Whose True Colors Are Unknown

Riku, the mysterious person with a good smile and speaking words with profound meaning. He enshrouds not only Towa and the others of course, but also the viewers in smoke. Is he actually the Yashahime’s enemy? Ally?

The boy who proclaims to be “A pirate come ashore”, Riku. The figure of him showing a kind smile and talking quickly makes him seem like your typical nice guy at a glance. However, his speech has every bit of shadiness mixed in it.

The first sign was when he called the apple he received from Towa a “Forbidden fruit” (translator’s note: this was written in English). Most likely, he likened it to the story of the Adam and Eve written in the Old Testament; but why does he know about it when he lives in the Feudal Era? Also, the part where it seemed that Kyuuki of the Four Perils and Riku knew each other is of interest. Then above all, there is the dangerous statement he made to Shikabaneya Jyuubee, “I will take care of the Yashahimes, who hold three of the Rainbow Pearls, myself”. What exactly is the reason for him to go so far for the Rainbow Pearls…?

While leaving a strong discomfort, it seems that Riku will be on the move again in episode 14 after disappearing from the center stage for some time. What is the expression Riku shows before the evil mountain god, Homura, who’s heart has been stolen by a human girl? Even continuing into episode 15 which according to Riku’s voice actor, Fukuyama Jun, will be “A pretty big episode”. There is no mistake that Riku’s existence holds the key to the story of “Hanyō no Yashahime”. The strict prohibition on his words down to the details cannot be overlooked.

Character Bios

Riku The person who requested the subjugation of the Four Perils to the corpse shop. He is gathering the Rainbow Pearls and after Kyuuki’s death, he retrieved the purple Rainbow Pearl that she held.

Shikabaneya Jyuubee The owner of the “Corpse Shop” that deals in demon bounties. He lends money to Moroha and has her slay demons as repayment. He possesses the green Rainbow Pearl.

Takechiyo He can transform into a giant and fly the sky, so he runs around a lot as a means of transportation for Towa and the others. Miroku seems to be involved behind why Takechiyo works at the corpse shop.

Towa She has a kind personality, but she does lose her sense of reason when her little sister, Setsuna, is in danger. As she is a half-demon, she loses her demonic powers and turns into a human at the start of the lunar month (new moon).

Setsuna Normally, her “seething demonic blood” is sealed with Miroku’s Buddhist powers. In episode 13, the seal is released, and she repels Tōtetsu of the Four Perils. Unlike Towa, she does not turn into a human at the start of the lunar month.

Moroha A bounty hunter. Lately, she has been unable to retrieve the heads of the demons she defeats and collect bounties which has been the source of her worries. Just like Setsuna, she does not transform into a human at the start of the lunar month.

The Corpse Shop’s Big Client

Riku, who puts a large bounty on the Four Perils’ heads, is a “special client” to Jyuubee. To Riku, Jyuubee is someone who he told “I only kill those I love” and revealed part of his thoughts to. It appears that the green Rainbow Pearl that Jyuubee possesses also has something to do with Riku. We are curious about the two’s past!

Darling Yashahime…?

Riku and Towa met when a lost Riku asked her for directions. Then he introduced himself to Setsuna and Moroha after they fought Kyuuki. According to what Riku told Jyuubee, since he loves the Yashahimes, he is thinking of finishing them off himself. What is the reason…?

Hatred Towards the Four Perils

Riku’s prejudice against the Four Perils is to the point that he bluntly says “This is why I don’t like you” to the dying Kyuuki. He says the reason is because “(They are) unrefined”. On the other hand, Kyuuki knew Riku’s name and it appears that Riku and the Four Perils are acquainted with each other. Does he also have some sort of connection to Kirinmaru who controls the Four Perils?

The Evil God Who Loves a Human

In episode 14, Riku gets involved with Tamano, an extraordinarily beautiful human girl, and the evil god who loves her but has an excessively burning jealousy, Homura. A human and an evil god. When Riku sees a love that goes beyond race, he shows an expression different from what he’s shown Towa and Co, Jyuubee, and the Four Perils so don’t miss it.

Riku Knows Everything?! The Voice of Riku, Fukuyama Jun

Forbidden from revealing anything, even to his fellow voice actors?!  The young man full of mystery, Riku

— From the beginning, what sort of impression did you have of the work “Inuyasha”?

Fukuyama: It was a show that started around the time I started receiving roles in animation work as a voice actor. At the time, it was a long series by Takahashi Rumiko-sensei that came after “Ranma ½” so from the start, it was getting a lot of attention when it began serialization. There were even talks of an anime adaptation. I remember there was chatting among the young people like “Who exactly is going to do the voicing?” “It can’t be anyone other than Yamaguchi Kappei-san?”. The work continued for many years and many of my fellow voice actors took part. I myself did not make an appearance but I had the impression that it was a “far away but familiar work”.

— This time, did you audition for the role of Riku?

Fukuyama: I did not. It was a discussion that happened suddenly, but I received a direct inquiry. It was right about the time when my schedule was a mess because of the COVID crisis, and I remember the correspondence being like “Are you able to take part in the recording schedule?”. For roles without auditions, generally there are multiple candidates so it’s normal to wait a while until the decision is made. However, this time I got the role soon after I received the inquiry, so I was a little surprised. Then, about the same time, the production of “Hanyō no Yashahime” was announced. After that, I started looking for the work that it was based off, but it didn’t exist. I became doubly surprised like “Oh, this is an original work!?”

— Riku is a character with a lot mysteries, but exactly how much do you know about Riku’s back bone?

Fukuyama: The information is to a level that I can’t say anything at this time. They explained to me his position within the work and what would happen to him before hand at the recording studio. Using that as the standard, during the first recording, I had a feeling they told me detailed points. Riku can appear to be androgynous when he doesn’t say anything, but when he actually speaks, he addresses himself as “Oira”, purposely says expressions in a tone of voice that’s almost like a fool, and knows words that he shouldn’t know. The biggest impression I got from him was that he could be considered a major supporting character and I felt that moving in secret isn’t quite what his position is. On top of that, after finding out additional information that I can’t say yet, he’s a more important character than I thought. The staff have told me “Please don’t say anything about Riku to the other cast members.” “We want them to enjoy this too” (laughs)

— That is amazing! It seems Riku’s mystery has a connection to the core of the story.

Fukuyama: Please look forward to finding out (laughs). In the first place as of right now, not only do we not know what intentions Sesshōmaru had behind his actions, but it’ll be a little while longer before we know the full story of the drama that is being spun. To viewers, I think this aspect will make them excited, uncertain, and anxious.

By Being Outwardly Suspicious, His True Intensions Are Wrapped in Smoke

— In contrast to Riku’s Edo-like phrases, you somehow feel a sense of refinement from him. Do you take care in that aspect when playing him?

Fukuyama: When reading the script, I wanted to effectively capitalize on the foolish tone of voice. As I continued to act like that, I think I started leaning towards the feel of an Edo person. However, you can blend the “impression felt from the script” and the “impression created from the image” in animation, so as a result from matching up the length of the lines to the image of the story, that may have become the impression that TV viewers got. Now that recording has progressed, when I think back, I’m glad I didn’t stick with the impression I got from the first script. The expression he shows Towa and the others, the Four Perils, and to other people are subtly different from each other so if I had completely contrasted those, his character image would probably have either changed or become blurred. When I first started, I was glad the image kept me in check.

— So Riku’s character comes together from combining the voice acting and the image acting.

Fukuyama: Yes. In today’s recording (the day of the interview), different from the way he speaks to Towa and the others, he showed an expression that he hasn’t really shown until now. In terms of what’s being broadcasted soon, Riku’s way of speaking breaks the 4th wall in episode 15. He’s a person who shows a lot of different faces so until we reach the heart (of the story), I want him to remain a character that’s hard to grasp.

— In terms of acting, do you receive any instructions from the staff?

Fukuyama: I was given the following order “We want you to bring out more shadiness than what’s depicted”. In terms of Riku’s position, as a way for me to show the character, I moved in a way that made it difficult to figure out what he is as much as possible. If you can visually see that he’s up to something, I would make it not show with my words more than necessary. However, I also thought “There’s no point hiding that he’s obviously acting shady, so I actually want viewers to really understand that”. By doing that, his intentions instead become less obscure as result is what I’ve come to understand as I play him.

— He certainly seemed like a good person but also felt shady when he made his first appearance in episode 7. It was completely suspicious for him to call the apple a “Forbidden Fruit”.

Fukuyama: In beginning, I thought I wouldn’t show any suspiciousness in front of Towa. While the base of the character is the same, I didn’t want Towa to harbor any sort of suspicion. However, with that line, I was told “You can bring out his shadiness”. In order to wrap the story in smoke, I think they’re going to show everything in that way.

Riku Seems Like He Can Obtain Things That Modern People Cannot Have

— It seems that recording is done with only a few people, so who do you record with?

Fukuyama: It’s quite spread out. We record with people we interact with the most in that episode so the group changes with each time. The first time, I was with Hosoya (Yoshimasa) who plays the role of Kirinmaru and then after that I was with Koyama-san (Tsuyoshi) who plays the role of Shikabaneya Jyuubee. On top of that, there was a time when I was with members of “Inuyasha”… By the way, today I was with Fairouz Ai (the role of Takechiyo). This work is the first time that I’m co-acting with her but man she’s a lively young person (laughs). You can tell she’s really enjoying the work, so it makes things easier.

— Please tell us if you have any memorable moments in the recording studio.

Fukuyama: When I’m with the cast of “Hanyō no Yashahime”, I get the impression of “This is a new show”. Around the time when Riku debuted in episode 7, there was a nervousness like you’ve only just started running. However, when I was with the “Inuyasha” team, it felt like a class reunion. The air between Yukino Satsuki-san (the role of Higurashi Kagome) and Kappei-san (the role of Inuyasha) felt like they’ve been working together for a long time and I thought “Oh, so this is “Inuyasha”!” The “level” of difference between each of the recording (groups) is what I found interesting.

— Among the episodes that have already aired, which scene was especially memorable for you?

Fukuyama: The episode where Riku debuted left a big impression on me. His aura when he’s moving behind the scenes and his aura of “No no, he’s shady but he doesn’t seem to be two faced” when he met Towa. The difference in his behavior was fun to act out. Like when he spoiled that Kikujuumonji was something he stole right after giving it to Towa or when he suspended the river water, drank it, and said “Anyone can do it if you focus your mind”. For a first appearance he had a lot of information, so viewers were probably confused. Towa being Towa, she didn’t seem bothered at all and it’s like “At least be a little cautious!” (laughs). I think you will understand the back and forth (between them) better if you rewatch it after watching more (of the story). With the expression “Pirate come ashore”, you’d probably think “Then isn’t he a bandit?” but there’s probably a fixation to that. That expression is also important.

— Now then, what are the highlights going forward?

Fukuyama: In due time, I think you’ll understand that “Riku knew everything”. However, on one hand if he’s an enemy, it would be contradictory and if he’s an ally, there’s a lot of things off. You’ll end up coming back to “Then what’s his objective?”.  With that, I would like everyone to enjoy imagining what his position and future development will be. Among the latest upcoming episodes, episode 15 is a big one. While many mysteries will be revealed, instead of feeling refreshed, I think you’ll end up wondering what’s going to happen from there on. Once again, I feel it’s a very elaborate screen play. Also, in episode 17, Riku is going to move a little differently than he has up until now and in episode 18, Sesshōmaru and Kirinmaru will be making extensive appearances. I think this is going to be a very satisfying episode for “Inuyasha” fans so please look forward to it.

— We would love if you could comment on this month’s illustration (P. 37~)

Fukuyama: I see it’s an illustration of Takechiyo telling the reader “Your head’s too high!”. But in actuality I don’t think Takechiyo really knows who Riku is. I’m sure Takechiyo most likely sensed that he’s someone that you can’t reveal his actions to other people but in the end, Riku is a client. Riku’s immeasurable aura is properly expressed in this illustration. Boy does he have the nerve to show this attitude in front of people (laughs).

— Going forward, could you tell us an illustration scenario you would like to see?

Fukuyama: I’m sure “Inuyasha” fans will want to see “Sesshōmaru comforting a newborn Towa and Setsuna” right? Maybe Jaken getting his body pulled all over the place by the two babies is something that might appear in the main story. However, I have a feeling we won’t get to see Sesshōmaru protecting the kids. Thinking with Riku… How about something like Riku holding a PS5 (Play Station 5). Riku seems like he would have things that even we modern era people can’t get our hands on (laughs).

— (laughs) Now lastly, please give a message to our readers.

Fukuyama: I can’t say yet what sort of actions Riku will be taking from here on, but by the time all of you are reading this, I think you’ll have figured out his stance somewhat. I’ll be happy if you’re able to anticipate what’s to come while imagining it, but probably at this stage, I think what you can image so far will be different from the direction that the story is going (laughs). I will also be looking forward to what will happen to not only Riku but to Sesshōmaru and Kirinmaru as I attend recordings. It would be great if you can fully enjoy it until the end.

Q. Who’s Your Favorite Character?

“I like Homura who appears in episode 14. How do I say it, he feels like a person who’s true to his desires. The result that awaited him afterwards was impressionable. Also in episode 2, there’s the cameo appearance of the hoodlums from “Urusei Yatsura” that looked old fashioned, which was great. Then there’s Kagome’s younger brother, Souta! Though he knew about the existence of demons and time travel from his childhood days, it feels like he’s someone who has transcended (laughs)”

Q. What Is Your Impression of the Three Girls?

“I interacted with Towa in episode 7, but regarding Setsuna and Moroha, I heard their voices for the first time on air. I watched without gaining information beforehand, so I felt moved in a sort of refreshing way. The cast is either 12 years or younger than me, but I could feel the world of “Inuyasha” begin continued in their acting. They made me interested in “what will it feel like recording together with them?”. Including Fairouz-san, I’m happy that there are so many talented female voice actors.”

[mushroomxfrog]

Why I'm disgusted by the Perry Jhonson movie-

Okay, so we all obviously agree.                                                                       Without further ado, let's get into this:

Let's start with the characters. Okay, Percy's design . For some reason, the actor looks so... un-Percy! He just doesn't give me the 'Percy' vibe.  Next, our girl Annabeth! i was so annoyed with her design. In the books, it's clearly given that Annabeth is BLONDE! Like seriously, come on! And Annabeth was just 'the badass love interest'... We didn't get to know anything about her, like she's afraid of spiders, and that her conflicts with her family, so we didn't have any sympathy for her. And Grover. I went mad on the spot and just didn't want to write this, because it actually broke my heart... Grover is supposed to be the cowardly,  thin, and can't really defend himself from school bullies. But as the series goes on, he's a loyal friend, and a caring person..Ooops, I mean Saytr. But in the movies, he's just comical relief, and he's portrayed as a ladies' man. And they made him a butt-kicking badass too. In the books, he's far from that. He hardly ever says something funny { That's normally Percy's job } , And he only likes the hunters cuz they're relater to nature. And as i mentioned before, he's NOT a badass. I think, if given the right person to portray, Grover's actor in the movie would have excelled at Grover's personality. It's just fucking stupid. And Luke, he was a monstrosity. Luke seemed too evil, even at the start, he's supposed to be using trickery. Instead, you can already know just by watching the first bit that he's the villain. In the book, Percy and Annabeth hold hope that Luke is under the influence of Kronos or something. But in the movie, Annabeth and Percy immediately just start attacking Luke. Annabeth always holds out hope that Luke can be reformed, and Percy , he still tried to reform Luke in the sea of monsters { Book } but he gave up in the titan's curse. Annabeth still had hope, cos she still had a soft spot for him.

Anyways, let's get on with the plot.

Okay, first of all, where's Nancy Bobofit? Nancy is a red-head Kleptomaniac girl in the start of the books at Yancy academy. She always annoyed Percy and Grover. And not to mention that Yancy is a boarding school. And i just seemed like they were in a hurry at the start. When Percy's mother died, we didn't feel sorry for him because we didn't see how close they were. That's why the Montauk beach scene was included in the books.

Also, how did Percy defeat Annabeth in Capture the flag, when Annabeth has been training for years and Percy was only there for a day or so?

Next, The war and the promise on the River Styx was not a thing in the movie , so Zeus and the other gods knew from the first. And Ares was a second antagonist in the books, and gave Percy a bag with a indirect link , so The lightning bolt would appear once they got to the underworld, and Luke being on the side of Kronos was revealed later . In the movie, the bolt was concealed in a shield that Luke gave Percy .The plot was just over all basic and boring, and they only included the main things.

And Hades was actually a Villain in this, which was just straight up stupid. Seriously, the first movie didn't even include Kronos. My little sister watched the movies with me, and she didn't read the books, so she didn't understand at all. And Percy only consulted the oracle in the second movie.

And they made the characters 16, so that the prophesy would happen when they were 20. This annoyed me.

And the next thing that  I'm going to address is the absolutely ridiculous thing that THE GODS COULD DIRECTLY HELP THEIR CHILDREN! Like come on. I liked that the gods couldn't do that, so we'd get only a vague message from them. It seemed more... Godly?

And The gods look horrible. They don't even look like Our leader described them. Where's Zeus's pinstriped Suit? All of the gods are in armor, and they don't look like themselves at all. Their personalities are different.

Hades: Any hope that it would be a faithful adaptation died when Hades revealed himself. I mean give the god a break. He's been portrayed as demonic and hellish in just about every script put to film. He's actually a caring father { iSh } to Nico when he appeared in the 'blood of olumpus'. And then somehow They switch to Kronos as the villan. It's lazy as hell.

Pesephone...  this part of the film is set in the Summer time, this undermines a huge part of Persephone's mythology, which dictates that she stays with her mother in the Spring and Summer; only spending the harsher months with Hades, and she isn't supposed to be so, Yk, Badass. And her having a crush on Grover is just.. Well, stupid.

and CHB IS NOT ON A HILL! It's just fucking stupid .And the sets of the best school ever { Hogwarts is in second place }are horrible, WHERE ARE THE STRAWBERRIES? The setting of CHB is described in the books amazingly, but here, it's just weird. And Thalia's tree was not mentioned.

And a lot of things were not here, but were mentioned in the second movie. And , there are many more reasons the first movie was horrible. But then the director , had the god damn nerve to make a second movie. Rick Riordan has made it clear he is not proud of how the movies turned out, and as such the fandom took his word and through their own experiences of reading the books and watching the movies, they can tell that it was bad. Rick Riordan even offered to write them a new script, but the idiot of a director refused.

The acting was a bit dull, it seemed like they weren't exited. Let's compare this to Harry Potter. The actors had a great time on set, and their acting was amazing.

People have said, 'Wow, the Percy Jackson fandom think they're so superior just because they read the books and they get all angry because the movie isn't EXACTLY IDENTICAL as them' But it's not that. While watching it, I felt disgusted, disgraced, and almost betrayed. It felt like they took my fragile, innocent, childhood and treated it like it was some beat-up barbie doll! It did no justice and everything was just WRONG!

the movies are good, if you haven't read the books. If you have, just avoid the movies. If you haven't read the books and are not planning on reading them, go for it. It's not bad. But note that its nothing like the books. So when PJO fans are talking abt PJO, don't butt in. You know nothing. And they will rip you to shreds like a Kindly One

Thank you .

[msawesomegeek]

Cinderella (2021) Movie Review

A/N: Look at me, reviewing something that actually came out this year! Look, long story short, I accidentally got free 7 days prime and wanted to make the most of it, and I love Romesh Ranganathan and James Acaster. So yeah, I watched. Also I found out right in the end that the guy who plays the prince is in one of my favourite movies (Handsome devil.) Anyways, on to this, and I feel kind of weird calling it a review, because I feel like it is just gonna be an appropriately deranged rant. Enjoy <3 And tell me if you agree, disagree or just wanna talk really.

Spoilers ahead.

To the person living under a rock its cinderella but with a small twist, the prince has a personality, so does actually, everyone else, which is cool, but I digress, everyone has personalities, and Ella wants to be a designer and the prince doesn't wanna be king, not really. Thats it. I hope I dont have to summarise the rest of Cinderella for you, it's pretty basic and have been done a million times.

Now, I watched the old and it was like my least favourite growing up, because I guess a little internalised misogyny, and well I liked Mulan and Jasmine, because they did stuff in their movies. And well, Cinderella just could look pretty, and that was never my strong suit soo. I then when Disney Plus came to my country watched the live action remake. And yeah, it was okay, I remember feeling things but also having no need to watch it again. This, this one I dont know how to feel about.

I didn't know where to start, but the good I guess, because that is gonna be the shortest. Okay, so Idina Menzel is amazing, and I love her. The only thing is, and that is probably just a me thing, but her high note in Material Girls reminded me of Wicked and I was like teared up for a moment, because god that is so much better a musical and I hope no one ever puts it onto any film unless its live. I did also really like what they did to the step mothers character, it gave her depth but not in a way that took up space too much in the story, maybe the piano thing was literally a bit too much, but it was actually really cool to see this mother first be this evil entity who teaches her daughters to be material, and then reveals why. It was cool. Also I had to take a break after the first 10 minutes of this movie, and one of my thoughts was: I don't know anything about most of these characters but those step sisters are fantastic! And they were! Not too overly dumb or naive for the dumb one and not too mean or anything for the other. Just perfect. Great singing. No notes. You three can stay!

James Cordon, Romesh Ranganathan and James Acaster, they were really good. They were funny, a little distracting at times, but you know what that is more the editors fault than theirs. I loved them. No notes.

I would also like to add, I liked the changes at least most of them to the story and characters. No it is not at all perfectly executed, we will get to that TRUST ME!, but it isn't too woke, a little on the nose maybe, but come on! We have seen cinderella in so many ways (Sidenote, great for ONCE not to see Minnie Driver as an evil stepsister, because she's played the stepsister in like half of all cinderella adaptations.) We have seen this story so many times before, the reason that a cinderella story or Ella Enchanted, which in my book are the only ones worth a rewatch, are good is because they tried to do something different! And it worked! So I really don't mind it.

The last strength this movie has: It's really fucking funny sometimes, her rat lines, hilarious, I'm sorry, I laughed, its fucking dumb, but I laughed. I will say though, little side note here, I'm not sure it was all intentional though. And like, sure the commentary was funny, but it was a little inconsistent and sometimes it really took the tension out of a scene where it needed tension.

Okay, now for the complaining. If you loved this movie, you're probably not going to like this.

Now first off, and this is JUST for me, but when that Cellist broke her Cello after The Seven Nation Army mash up, I literally yelled: "NO! That is so expensive!"

Moving on! Like I said, I liked the story, I did like the changes they made to it. But there were some things that just pissed me tf off. Mostly it is on the prince's side of the story, and its not just there that there are flaws I just noticed them more.

The FIRST FUCKING SCENE WITH THE PRINCE! First time we meet him, first time we are introduced to him. He tells a girl, he doesn't wanna marry her, (And I went back to check it because I wanted to make sure I didnt miss something the first time.), he rejects a girl, because, "I don't plan on settling down any time soon.". I'm sorry. Just, just to be clear here. You wrote a script. Several people wrote a script. People agreed to act, direct and film it. AND NO ONE, NO ONE, thought to stop and ask about how fucking stupid that line is! This fucking movie, tries its damnedest, the rest of its almost two hour run time, to convince you, that, the reason Robert is opposed to marrying anyone other than Ella, is because HE WANTS LOVE. His mother says that is his reason! They cut away to more exposition, and THEN they have the fucking audacity, that his next scene has him being scolded by his father, and THEN making his I want song be, Somebody to love by Queen. (I literally paused and breathed to calm down my anger). I'm sorry. I just have to ask. WHAT THE HELLL???!!!!

WHAT?!!

WHAT!!!!

hn,gbsdig

WHAT?!

WHAT, is this?! What (and I mean this from the bottom of my heart) THE FUCK!

Why! Just Why, did no one! Nada, niet, no one, stop and say: Hold on, its almost like the princes ENTIRE establishing scene is him acting like a brat who doesn't wanna marry, and literally telling a princess he doesn't wanna marry, not just her, but implying in general. Isn't that kind of weird when he the rest of this movie claim he only wanna marry for love. Why not just make him say that? And apparently if someone DID say that, they were promptly fired, because this movie was clearly written and directed a M. Night Shamalan ripoff, because at least his twists makes fucking sense!

I know its just a fucking movie, but it pisses me off SO fucking much. Like it is one line, in one scene, and this movie would be 10 times better.

Next. And yes, this will involve less what's in all caps with exclamation points after, but know, that there will be equal amounts of what the hells felt in this next thing.

Later, Robert has permission from his parents to go off and marry Ella, and he searches which is kind of a cool sequences, then him and the boys are riding through the woods and all hope is lost, you know? Anyways, we get this scene, with the boys, and we know so far that Robert has a best friend named Haymish (I think), and then two other nameless bros who are mostly just clones of Grigor from the Great. Anywho, they are riding through the woods, all hope is lost, and then one of them gives this beautiful speech about how love is important and we all should long for what Robert has. It inspires them to carry on and Robert remembers that the marketplace exists. Cool? No. First off the dialogue in this scene is more contrived than a Kardashian ass. It is clunky and I am sorry, but no amount of cute irish accent is going to make me forget that you are literally spewing bullshit about love in a way that is laughably unsubtle and honestly just terribly written. Now maybe, just maybe, I could have forgiven that, if, it was said by Haymish (Still not sure thats his name but we'll go with it), because we have spent time with Haymish, we have liked Haymish because he is sort of sassy and we know that he is cautious and the person discouraging the prince, so to have him when all hope is lost go: No, if this is true love, you got this and you will find here. Now think, where could she be?

Still clunky, but its two in the morning and I didnt get paid to write a movie. But it would make sense, its a character established to go against the prince and be sensible, for him to be inspired and have a change a heart would be sweet, still contrived but sweet. Instead, we get this god damned NOBODY who might as well be an extra, saying these things and I was internally screaming: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! Why are you here? Who are you?!

Last thing on Robert and I promise to trash like two more things and then go. Anyways, Robert, I kind of loved and hated him at the same time. Good actor, singing wasn't awful. Here is the deal, if they had sticked with it a little more (and I get why they didnt but then why do it in the first place), I would have loved his character. He was witty and fucking funny. And half of the time when he wasn't busy being sweet or in love, he was a perfect ripoff of Peter from the Great. Now the reason I both loved and hated Robert is because of exactly that. The Great is a fantastic series that you should absolutely watch. And it's like they knew what they were doing, like his first line is like straight up something Peter would say, delivery and everything, and making him say Huzzah. Like, is this intertextuality or what? Like at the first half of this movie, I could literally see Peter from the great being friends with Robert. And if they had actually dared to follow through and allow him to continue to be sort of an awful person that could work, and could have been a great story about him wanting to be better than his father bla blah bla. I also get why they couldn't do that, but then like, just make him stupid my bros. Like make him more stupid. It would make sense that he is an idiot who just falls in love with a random girl. It would make even more sense for Gwen to be just rolling her eyes at him. Also, why dont we know more about Gwen, besides that she would actually be a great leader, here is a thing I have a problem with, why does she at like no point in the story talk to her brother. Why doesn't she give the pep talk! You cant convince me that she loves her brother with heart eyes in the end when you two have literally never had a conversation! Sorry, tangent. Anyway, the reason I hate Robert being like Peter from The Great, is, it reminded me I could just be rewatching The Great instead of this weird ripoff.

Moving on! Now, I still dont know where I stand on the godfairy, like I was like, its the fucking butterfly, of course it is. And I did like it, then I hated it, then I liked it again. That's it.

Now, what pissed me off to no end in this movie is, the music. First off I really did not like the opening number, it felt weird and clunky somehow, I would have been fine with a little voiceover or for it to somehow to be incorporated into Ella's I want song. Because I get it establishes the world, but like, idk, it just wasn't a very good song. And the opening number is also a big pet peeve of mind. First off, I dont hate Camilla Cabello, I think she's a good musician, I like some of her songs, I liked fifth Harmony. And hell, I did not even mind her acting in most of this. It was fine. The problem I have with her, that in that opening number, which is opening, HER movie, she is autotuned to death. I also had that problem with the second number, and then it was fine in perfect. But you CANNOT have the audacity to have an opening number to a movie, where the lead actress is a musician, and then autotune her to death. Like I spent a good amount of time wondering what went wrong. Like one of the notes sounded like it was tuned to the wrong note! And I know you can autotune today, without having the sound of it noticeable, and it was so fucking noticeable. So WHY. Why would you do this! This is an amazon movie, you have endless resources. Hire a better mixer! And even it was a great sound producer who did their job completely correctly, it also kind of in those first two songs, sounded like it was like in a bad place for her range. I literally in the beginning after hearing a note by Camilla, paused and went: Really!? Not going to get another take of that? Cool. Fine. Whatever. Its only a MUSICAL! And then they have the audacity to have her singing come in after and in duet with Idina Menzel, who fucking Slays. Even the step sisters slay their part. Just do a different take. Do something to the music! Dont let your lead singer sing a bad note and be badly autotuned! How did you let this happen? Also, while we're at the music, I dont hate some of it, like fuck somebody to loved did, but that was mostly because they had the audacity to sing queen and then not follow through in his character! Like, they might as well have made him sing Under Pressure. Actually, I just went to spotify under Queen to find a song, and Under Pressure would fit his character perfectly, his motivation and everything. Also, is there a reason they didnt make his song just duet Ella's in the beginning, but instead shoehorned it in when they got the rights to Queen instead? Because it would have shown connect and stuff. Maybe like, make their reunion scene, idk, meaningful? No. Not what you're going for. Cool. I also hate that they sang Perfect. We get it. Its a good song. Okay? Just let it be. Let it be just music, just instrumental, let them dance, let them sing it later. Just, not now. You could also have like, not picked something that in under a year became the worlds most annoying song because its played at every wedding ever. That is also an option, you know?

Also, I thought Ella was in a hurry, to like sail off. Dont try to convince me they gathered the whole kingdom in under an hour to announce Gwen as the new queen. Like, I get you want a big finishing dance number, but come on, they have somewhere to be!

All in all, (Wow, you made it this far? I deliver on the deranged rant part right?) there are some cool things about this movie, but I will be honest a lot of it bothered me, but hey, if you have two hours to spear, you might as well, you know, watch Handsome Devil. It has the guy who plays the prince, but its great and beautiful, and have characters that make sense and a great closing song that doesn't feel shoehorned, but is actually just beautiful in a fantastic way. And if you after that still haven't had enough, go watch the great. I promise its better. Like if you have no other options, sure, watch it, be like me, enjoy the comedians, the Idina's, the Peter like lines, and try to get past the rest. It is, passible. Like, technically it is a movie.

2/10 stars.

[lovelyirony]

okay but hear me out hear me out hear me OUT: hunger by ross copperman for rhodeytony

Everyone knows that Tony would die for Rhodey. It’s as easy to see as green grass or a blue sky. He would burn everything down for Rhodey. 

Something that others don’t catch onto is how willing Rhodey is to do the exact same. Rhodey doesn’t often tell people his side of the story of how the two met. 

As it turns out, Rhodey wasn’t supposed to be in room 63-J, he was supposed to be in 65-J. Due to mix-ups in housing and a particularly horrible employee, Rhodey was moved into what was supposed to be a private room. 

“I’m, um, sorry,” Rhodey says. “I can move to a different room, I just have to email the people--” 

“Uh-uh, don’t worry about it,” Tony says, eyes shining. “There’s more than enough space in here, and I’d really prefer to have a roommate. I’ve never really shared anything before!” 

Tony is a small seventeen year old. Rhodey is eighteen, takes one look at this kid who could honestly pass for fifteen, and realizes that he knows nothing about the real world. Absolutely nothing. His head is empty, and he has no idea about that either. 

So Rhodey stays. He teaches Tony how to do things, although Tony isn’t completely helpless. He loves doing laundry and he knows how to cook some serious gourmet shit. 

This is how Rhodey learns how to make his own pasta, and Tony smiles as he smears flour against his cheek. 

Rhodey teaches Tony what coffee to drink, which restaurants are the best. (This does not stop Tony from eating at Burger King near-religiously.) Tony learns how to dress how he wants, and to stop showing up to classes in what is essentially a full suit. 

Tony falls in love with old jeans, worn band tees that he finds after combing through racks of all the thrift stores. 

He laughs as he makes Rhodey get a neon orange fanny pack. 

“Since you claim you always lose your shit at parties,” Tony teases, grinning. 

Tony’s a kid. 

And yet...not a kid. 

He knows immediately who to trust, who to avoid. The way he phrases things has Rhodey’s head going in circles. He’s brilliant with people, to a point where he can drive anyone away. 

Except for Rhodey. 

He made a promise over Thanksgiving break, when Tony realized that his mother penned a note explaining that “darling, your father and I are still in the Maldives, so you have free reign of the house for Thanksgiving...” 

It meant that he would be Completely Alone. 

Well, Rhodey wasn’t having that. 

“If I have to clean the carpet, I’m forcing you with me,” Rhodey says. “And I promised that I would bring a dessert, and I know that you make killer tiramisu.” 

“If I only have to prove that I’m clearly the better roommate, then so be it,” Tony says dramatically. “Take me away, Jim-dear.” 

(He cannot stop calling him that after they stole the VCR of Lady and the Tramp from the English department’s catalog. Not like they’re gonna miss it. 

Rhodey cannot stop thinking about how much he really, actually loves it, that nickname.) 

Tony is shy when he gets to the house, although Dad immediately pulls Tony into the family. 

“Rhodey promised us a dessert but I know that he didn’t inherit my cooking skills, so I’m assuming he’s just promised you,” he says. 

“Yes he has, Mr. Rhodes,” Tony says, grinning. “How do you feel about tiramisu?” 

Tony later on impresses Mrs. Rhodes--from that night on, referred to lovingly as “Mama”--with his piano playing skills. Tony’s perfect memory reads notes as if he’s always known them, and plays piano with a skilled sort of ease. He even adds his own little stylings, making it even better as Rhodey watches his parents dance. 

They haven’t done that in years, not since Rhodey was little and they still had the old record player with Billie Holiday and Duke Ellington records stacked to the side among others. 

Tony laughs along with the music, grinning as his little sister tells him every single embarrassing story about Rhodey. 

“He thought watermelons grew on trees,” Jeannette says, cackling. “Can you believe that?!” 

“I can,” Tony says, putting a finger to his chin. “And I think that if no one had told you, you still would.” 

“Of course if no one had told me I still would! That’s how belief works!” Rhodey calls out. 

“Shush,” Mama says, smoothing a hand over Rhodey’s hair. “Some people are dumb, baby, it’s okay.” 

Rhodey makes an offended squawk, and Tony laughs. 

They go to sleep in Rhodey’s bed. It’s a queen, not like they both can’t fit onto it. 

And if Rhodey wakes with Tony curled into his arms, soft breathing? If Rhodey realizes that life could be like this all the time if they really wanted it to? 

Well. It’s not the worst thought in the world to have. Not by a long shot. 

- 

This feeling continues on long after they graduate, when they start spending every holiday they can together. They always make a dessert together and Rhodey always gets something Super Shit from the thrift store. 

Last year, it was a mug proclaiming “Best Regional Staff Manager of 1978.” He has just discovered that he could custom-order a burnt orange shag carpet, and Tony will put it into his bedroom. 

And then Afghanistan. 

Rhodey grieves like nothing else. He is almost always dehydrated from crying, he can barely eat, and Pepper has to check in on him. 

“You smell bad,” she tells him one night. 

“I know.” 

“Go shower.” 

“Later.” 

“No, now. I swear to god if Tony knew you smelled this disgusting, he’d douse you in Chanel no. 5, and I know how you feel about that.” 

Rhodey manages to get out a small smile. 

He showers. He feels a bit better. 

And he starts looking. 

Everyone in his squad and in the military itself thinks he’s crazy for still looking. The chances of Tony being alive are less than fifty percent. He is most likely dead, but Rhodey can’t stop looking. He just can’t. 

He gets Tony in his arms months later, skinny and frail and yet still so alive. Rhodey tells him he’ll never let go. 

“Not even to let me take a wizz?” Tony asks, smile weak. Rhodey laughs and lets a little bit of tears slip out. 

He does something that was not supposed to happen. 

He leaves the military. 

Realizes that that isn’t what he wants, night after night, to count down days until he’s back in Tony’s arms. He wants to work alongside his someone, to smile at him, and cook breakfast. 

It’s at this time when Tony keeps coming into his room. 

“Like old times?” he asks. Begs, almost. Rhodey nods. 

“Always, Tones. You know that.” 

Tony introduces him to Iron Man, and Rhodey oohs and ah’s, questioning what works and why it had to be that garish, bold red. 

“Aw sweetheart, who else would pick such a color scheme?” 

Rhodey grins and asks when he’s getting his own suit. 

“I do not believe in a god, but I think I might start praying,” Jarvis says dryly, and they both snicker. 

It is Rhodey who helps keep Tony from working himself to the bone, forcing him to come with him. 

“Come on, it’s pizza night and you have to help me make breadsticks otherwise I’m not putting on enough garlic butter.” 

“Rhodey I know that you love garlic butter so this is essentially an empty threat but I will and can kill you.” 

Rhodey snorts as Tony chases him around the kitchen. 

Then the Avengers. 

Natalie Rushman comes into Tony’s life, and Rhodey just knows she isn’t who she says she is. 

Doesn’t help that Tony’s reckless and trying to hide a pretty impressive crossword along his chest. 

What’s an eleven-letter-word meaning “a destroying agency?” 

(Destruction.) 

He doesn’t let her even near Tony. 

“I’m supposed to be here,” Natalie says plainly. She has a coy smile on her face. 

She does not know that for a wild variety of reasons, this will not work on Rhodey. 

“So am I,” Rhodey says evenly. “So I guess we’ve come to a stalemate. I’ll give him the paperwork. You can ask Pepper about the gala’s appetizers and security measures, as I’m sure you have questions.” 

He knows she doesn’t. He also knows that Tony won’t look into her because he’s--

He’s busy. 

Just that. 

(Not dying, his brain whispers insidiously. Not planning a trip six feet or below.) 

Rhodey does not blow off Tony when they have a fight in the house, when Tony wants everyone to leave and get out and tries to get Rhodey to leave by saying he’s a sidekick. 

“You idiot,” Rhodey scowls. “If I’m a sidekick, what does that make you? The very minor character?” 

“What? No, I’m Iron Man--” 

“Yeah, but still. I think Pepper or someone else would be the main character. Quit being an idiot and help me clean up the glass you shot at, idiot.” 

Tony doesn’t like knowing that Rhodey knows. He also doesn’t like Pepper screams about an omelet and how “It wasn’t even that good Tony! How did you mess up eggs! You didn’t even get any seasoning!” 

Rhodey laughs. Helps Tony discover that a.) SHIELD is a bunch of assholes collectively getting a salary, and b.) Howard still had tricks up his sleeve. 

But tricks are tricks. 

You get a solution? Well, that’s even better. 

Tony smells like metal and coconuts, and Rhodey whoops with joy. 

Tony kisses him on the lips, and it’s amazing and he definitely wants more of that, and-- 

“Okay we gotta go take down an evil genius,” Tony says, grinning. “Come on sugar-plum.” 

War Machine and Iron Man work like a dream together, and they’re panting and tired but smiling at the end of all of this. 

“Sour patch, we need a vacation,” Tony says. “We need to just. Lay somewhere.” 

“Agreed, honey.” 

So after all of these years, they become an item. A couple. People who love each other and don’t get too mad when someone else eats all of the butternut squash soup (Rhodey). 

And Tony will tell anyone who listens how in love he fell, so hard, and Rhodey will smile and agree. 

But he’s pretty sure that he’s the one who fell first. 

[number5theboy]

The notes I took while reading the comics are under the cut. These are not my ordered thoughts, just thoughts I had while reading. I’ll write something more coherent a bit later, once my thoughts are sorted better than these

APOCALYPSE SUITE

Diego repeatedly stabbed a Caravaggio, which just personally offends me. Also @ Reginald the fact that you left a Caravaggio in reach of your KIDS, who have KNIVES, is just as insulting. Someone save that Caravaggio since anything and anyone else is beyond saving

“Inexplicable resemblance to an Ingmar Bergmann extra” askjdsgbkdsbhsd Gerard sir that is so oddly specific. Is Reginald an Ingmar Bergman fan. Is that what you’re trying to tell us. Or is Klaus just a silent movie type

Right off the bat, the comics universe is so much more interesting than the show universe. They have boxers who beat up squids like??? Give us an adaptation with the comic world, preferably animated

The kiddos were all born to “mostly single women” dsbksdgbksdgbdsg??? Did the magical alien thingamajig check their relationship status first?

“Inventor of The Televator, The Levitator, The Mobile Umbrella Communicator, and Clever Crisp Cereal” dgdsghsgdhjsdkjhg Reginald names his inventions like Dr. Doofenschmirtz from Phineas and Ferb

Also the page that reveals/introduces Reginald is SO good, just the panelling and the action tells you so much. There’s dead bodies and excavations and masks in addition to text. It’s great.

“The Day The Eiffel Tower Went Berserk” is an EXCELLENT hook to a story

“It’s your Eiffel Tower, it’s gone insane and must be stopped at all costs.” Dksgdhjbkgsdhjbdsghjb the show could never

This comic keeps disrespecting cool art. Why is it doing that to me. Don’t let the musée d’orsay get robbed

Okay, luther came through for me on that

Dsdhlsdghlgsdhldsh the siblings arguing while the Eiffel Tower is falling apart around them had me cackling

“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE” dsbdgsbgsdbdgsbklsd okay diego

“And just as I suspected – ZOMBIE-ROBOT GUSTAVE EIFFEL!” hello I need at least three comics of back lore on this. Why does luther have that hunch. Why is Gustave Eiffel a zombie-robot. How did we get here. Please I want answers

The missing line on the ‘e’ of ‘touché’ makes that dramatic moment way less dramatic and more funny ngl

Oh but you can be bothered to put the accent aigu on ‘séquence’

“And while you lost the Eiffel Tower, you saved Paris.” I am laughing too hard by this point. How dare this be a barely brushed upon adventure. Please I need to know more about zombie-robot Gustave Eiffel

Te Ben-robot makes me emotional and “Only my father calls me Number One”? ouch.

Also for the record, I love Luther’s design SO much

“Hello your father is dead. Please audition for my orchestra for revenge. Many thank. Bye.” Okay Conductor, whatever floats your boat, I guess

“and something worse is coming” dbhsdghbjgshbjsgbjhkgf okay Five, whatever floats your boat I guess

Allison immediately coming in with the ‘I know everyone blames you for Ben’s death, Luther, but honestly, who the fuck knows?’ dsbgbhdgshbsgdhkbj

Klaus has such an entrance and I honestly didn’t know that Claire was a comic character

The introduction to the apocalypse comes SO the fuck out of nowhere, but grumpy little Five with the ‘I knew I shouldn’t have run away from home’ speech bubble? Awesome

Also just genuinely interesting that Five truly hated Reginald and was aware of these feelings

The apocalypse introductions in the show and the comic are going for different feelings but they are both equally devastating, which is a nice touch

Also someone give show! Five a sword

Comic Diego is a fuckboy, and that’s obvious from a hundred paces

Apparently Grace makes me sad in any incarnation

Okay but the backdoor of the Icarus in the show is lifted straight out of the comics

I love the Conductor’s design so much, and his introduction is so good

Oh my god someone get a language checker, The Orchestra Verdammten doesn’t even make grammatical sense

I love the Conductor, he is so extra and just the concept of a piece of music that destroys the world…….it fucks so hard

This comic just throws wild shit at you and expects you to keep up

Just read the instructions Dr. Terminal gave his bots. Is he okay.

Why does Dr. Terminal want to eat Finland. Please I need to know what’s going on in that head of his

Gabriel Ba has excellent comedic timing

Five is a bitch and I love him

Diego hiding in a haunted house…….what a drama queen

Klaus is so fucking funny oh my god

Diego is so hilariously bitter towards Vanya. No need to destroy her like that, asshole

Love how Diego single-handedly brought about the apocalypse. What an idiot.

Dr. Pogo deserves the world

The Vanya reveal of powers is a bit. Uh. Underwhelming. Love the Frankenstein set-up tho

The art, man……..it’s so good

Comic Luther is SO savage holy shit

I love you Mister Conductor, but please stop butchering languages I know, thanks

I knew he was gonna die, but I am still hurt. Please bring him back, he’s the best character in this

“I don’t know where to begin…But I suppose I should start with the Kennedy assassination.” Okay five you drama queen

Allison is a bitch, and I mean that as a compliment

Honestly these Five and Vanya are made to be enemies, it’s great

HELL YEAH YOU GO KLAUS

This wraps up a little too nicely. Where did the moon boulder go

DALLAS

Sagfdghjasfkjghdsfjhksfhkj it opens with a ‘by the way, I’m still dead’ from Pogo

I can’t believe TUA directly inspired Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian

No seriously, I knew about sentient monument Abraham Lincoln but this entire scene FUCKS

Dsbksgdbhsgbhksgdhbkj Celebrity Surgery, the big popular reality TV show, I’m laughing

Luther and Klaus are both such messes jeesus, even if Klaus is coping better

Allison immediately kidnaps Vanya and exposes her to all the horrible shit she caused?? Dbgbhjdgkjhbgdhkj I love these versions of the characters

While Show!Diego is Walmart Batman, Comic!Diego is Walmart Rorschach

I thought I got the gazelle speech but now I’m just confused

It literally is an epiphany AND WHAT GOT HAZEL AND CHA-CHA SENT ON HIS ASS I’M

CACKLING

Also that one wordless Hazel and Cha-Cha panel……..so good

Five is a communist lmao Diego

Luther and Diego arguments are tedious in both versions

I hate the Marilyn Monroe ape scene. With a passion. It is so cursed

Also show Hazel and Cha-Cha were partners that grew apart. I think comics Hazel and Cha-Cha are in love

I am every killer ever. That is one cute puppy.

Also Klaus and God is great in every universe

Dsjfghjdhjdgjhbdgbjhkdbkjhgb Five’s face when he is outfoxed

Why do dream!Luther and Allison have am ape cyclops daughter

I love the Luther&Klaus dynamic

This is just a remix of Watchmen

I have no idea why they suddenly know what Five is up to, from the corpse of a Commission agent. What.

Wait now they can use corpses as time travel devices. What.

Okay, Klaus accidentally blew up the world. Cool?

I am so confused

Now Diego Klaus and Luther are fighting vampires in Vietnam and hurling mummies through the bush. Okay.

So Pogo always knew what kind of disasters they’d turn into? Dskbgdsbkhsdgbkgsdkh

THE WHOLE JFK ASSASSINATION ARC IS AMAZING

HOTEL OBLIVION

Hotel Oblivion really just presents a cockroach on a plate to you, huh

Reginald’s aesthetic is seriously so much cooler than he deserves

EVIL IS THE NAME OF THE FIRST PART OF HOTEL OBLIVION?!? I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE MR. AIDAN GALLAGHER

Five is a hired gun now?!? Man, that dude cannot catch a break ever

“TV is a healthy alternative to dying” esjkdsgbkgskbhdsgkbes

Who is Luther’s Japanese bro?!?

Also I just kind of really like the Luther&Diego dynamic in the comics

The show robbed us of Allison helping Vanya recover. It robbed us of Vanya getting injured in the first place, so what recovery, but still. This is incredibly sweet

God, all the villains in this universe are so intriguing. Except for Knock-Off-Adrian-Veidt, I keep forgetting that Perseus exists

“I’m a haunted house.” Is so metal as a self-descriptor

What the FLYING FUCK is Klaus doing there

Giant chicken?

The Enterprise???

“What are you doing?” “A report. I’m really interested in capitalism.” Djhsgjgskjvsevksevjesvjsefjv maybe Diego is right and Five is indeed a communist

“I know what it feels like to be unloved. I was born an object, and never treated as anything but.” It really was that bad, wasn’t it?” “For the both of us, yes.” B R U H

Evil Grace is fun

I love Allison and Five and their relationship so much

Five is interested in the stock market??

I am way too emotionally invested in whether Murder Magician and his baby make it out of there

Oh I CANNOT believe their romantic loves for their SISTERS is what unites them. I hate this.

What on earth is going on with Perseus and the flying head of Medusa

Alive Ben 😊☹

I am an idiot for not making the Perseus-Medusa connection sooner.

The Eiffel Tower now looks like the love child of the actual Eiffel Tower and the Atomium.

And now the Dr. Manhattan knock-off is here

God I love Allison so much

What the fuck is Pereus on about

Terminal eats a zoo

Scientific Man borders on plagiarism I’m sdhbgshsvjhksfvjksdjhkdsj

No no no no no not the Murder Magician

This whole baby arc makes me so soft

HELL YEAH LUTHER

Well this ended on a cliffhanger

[ourrightside]

10 Reasons Why Carrie Bradshaw Wasn’t THAT Bad...

Sex and the City is the most elite series I’ve ever watched - and I was so excited to purchase the first season when I turned 18.

I would listen to my mom and my sister gossip about the show when I was younger and feel so left out. But, my mom would refuse to let me watch it until I became an adult. Thank god.

Being an avid fan now, I sometimes scan through Sex and the City articles on the net, and can’t help but notice dozens of articles filled with ‘Carrie’ slander - which kind of makes me nervous.

Although it was true that years ago girls were labeling themselves as the ‘Carrie’, ‘Samantha’ and ‘Charlotte’ of the group - the serious and less glamorous friend got stuck with being a ‘Miranda’; it is kind of an insult now to be deemed as a Carrie. 

As we all matured, we realized that being a Miranda is amazing and we should all strive to be just as successful - but Carrie Bradshaw is still a valid character and I’m here to prove why the “sexual anthropologist” is not all that bad. 

Now before I dive into why I totally get Carrie Bradshaw, I would just like to point out before hand that I am aware that she is just a fictional character and hopefully you are too. If you are not informed, then I apologize for this harsh revelation. However, let’s continue. 

1. She was average looking

While we can all agree that her physique only gets stronger and leaner throughout the series, she was still not exactly perfect looking. Despite her fit body, she was not model like or necessarily tall. She did not have a perfect nose. She did not have the biggest ‘lady parts’. She did not have the plumiest lips. She did not have perfect facial symmetry.

But, she was okay with it. And has mentioned that by the age of 30, she was over being uncomfortable with her looks and decided to move on.

Despite constantly bumping into models and having to accept that men can be total “modelizers” - especially in the capital of the world aka manhattan, she chose to embrace her natural beauty, which in turn has allowed her to walk the runway in her underwear.

2. She was selfish 

Yes, the new trend is to be selfish and say no - because that is ‘self love’.

If that truly is the case, then there was no denying then that Carrie was selfish throughout the series.

As human beings, we are selfish by nature. But since we now identify ourselves in societies with expected norms and values, being selfish disqualifies you sometimes from your environment. To avoid being lonely, we try to let go of being selfish or at least hide our selfish traits.

Unfruitfully so, our selfish instincts at times fail us - exposing our true colors. And whenever that happens, people aren’t too afraid of pointing out what you did wrong. It doesn’t make us necessarily evil, just makes us human.

To avoid being Freudian in this post, let’s just sum up that Carrie is harmlessly selfish at times - that includes being late to every event, asking her friend Susan Sharon if she could trade in her cashmere sweater birthday gift for cash, accepting a pair of 600$ shoes from her other super rich friend, and cutting off Charlotte’s possible infertility problem discussion to talk about her Manolos.

The list goes on, I mean - this is just classic Bradshaw behavior. However, this character cannot be deemed as bad. She was just under the spotlight, and if we were under it too, we would find out that we do have these moments as well without realizing it. We are not perfect. However, Carrie does reflect on her mistakes often, which is something we should be doing more. 

Sometimes, her selfish tendencies can really get out of hand. 

It was not okay when she got angry at Charlotte who did not offer to lend her money after she blew it all off on Manolo Blahnik shoes instead of rent. It was not okay when she threw away Aiden down the drain. It was not okay when she slept with a married man, even if it was ‘Mr. Big’.

We cannot shame her though because we all have hidden skeletons in our closets...it’s up to you however to peak in and see which faults make it or break it for you. 

3. She was a working woman 

No offense to chastity ball princess Charlotte, who wanted to be a housewife to any rich man who crossed path with her, Carrie Bradshaw was by all means an ‘all star’ business woman. Despite being unconventional unlike Samantha Jones (PR executive) and Miranda Hobbes (Harvard-graduate Lawyer), Carrie Bradshaw was a restless woman that worked in multiple fields all at once despite being so undermined.

She had so many tasks to tackle all at once while juggling multiple projects. She ran around between the fields of Journalism, Content Marketing and Public Relations. She was able to get invited into all the ‘fabulous’ events and meetings because of the hard work she invested in all by herself as a freelancer who lived in a huge place like New York. Carrie finally reached her goal at the age of 40, which was working at Vogue. She even wrote multiple books as well.

4. She was unconventional

Despite the show running in the early 90s, Carrie Bradshaw decided to be a sex columnist. She never gave up on her weird unconventional job and was proud of her career despite the looks or comments people would make. She had a weird exterior in addition to how upfront she was about the physical makings of life.

In addition, Carrie did not believe in marriage until she became a fiancée at the age of 40. She traded in a ring for a pair of shoes and a walk-in closet, unlike most women, who would rather get married in their mid 20 to early 30s with a huge rock on their finger. 

5. She was struggling at adulting

Carrie Bradshaw had a deluded concept of adulting that at least most of us had or still struggle with. She was not a healthy adult with financial stability and a well thought out regime. However, she still managed to be fabulous.

She had poor dieting habits, which made her sometimes skip dinner to buy Vogue instead. She believed that shopping and gossiping were the best types of cardio. She was not the cleanest and had a messy apartment at most times. She did not care about the way her living space looked like, which she later on freaked out about in fear of being judged as an imperfect adult according to Mr Big. She paid so much on shoes that she could no longer afford her rent. She believed that investments must be seen in her closet. She drank at least six dollars worth of coffee per day. She would smoke and drink way too much for a thirty year old woman.

6. She was a good friend

Carrie Bradshaw had so many friends that it almost put her PR bestie Samantha to shame. To be honest, Carrie may have not been a perfect friend, but she was as good as it gets realistically.

What made her so realistic in her friendships was her ability to be there for most of her friends’ hardships. She had her ups and downs with her empowered female group because sometimes they would feel like she was too problematic and vice versa. For the most part, it is impossible to be as passionate to your friends as you once were the first time you guys met. But what makes a friend a good one is that they never voluntarily try to find excuses to leave you behind.

Carrie’s love towards her friends in her good and bad times showed that she valued them like family. 

7. She was lost

Carrie was probably more lost than she would have liked to be. She had a tendency to dwell on what should have been and could have been. We all have regrets and sometimes she voiced hers out more than other characters within the show. She would sometimes yearn over the years that passed by her. She even went to extremes such as dating a college boy just to remember what it was like to ‘just kiss’. Rookie Mistake, Carrie.

Just like Carrie, as time goes by at any age, we look back at the spur of events that created our timeline and take note sometimes of which events we deem as either life-changing, traumatizing or both.

8. She was experimental 

She may not have been as promiscuous as her friend Samantha, but she was unarguably adventurous in all aspects of her life. Although the most obvious aspect may have been her outfits, her wild colors and funny textural accessories were just a preview on how eccentric Carrie Bradshaw truly was. She mentioned that her younger years were a genuine pursuit of fun in every shape or form, which most twenty-something-year-olds cannot deny.

She emphasized that she fears living life as a cautious person because of the hurt she has endured. However, she truly defined throughout the show what it means to be eccentric, empowering the ones who fail the experiments of life to get back on their feet. 

9. She was flawed

Carrie Bradshaw believed in the glass half full rather than half empty throughout the series. Despite being unbearably flawed to the point where her friends no longer wanted to listen to her problems, she decided to see a shrink which is something that would have been especially socially-unacceptable in the 90s. Carrie still overcame her mental issues and found other remedies which in turn has led her into accepting the way things played out. 

As we grow up, we, like Carrie, need a little bit of help in order to realize that temporary issues will fade away into lessons and the permanent ones that are out of our control can be accessorized into our lives accordingly to the way that we want it to look like.

10. She was in love

Her love towards Mr Big was illogical - almost completely insane. But what made her character so special was the fact that she never continued her relationship with Aiden because she knew deep down that it was Mr Big all along and never gave up on it; despite all the signs that kept telling her that he was bad for her. He was at the time indeed bad news, which made her feelings towards him fluctuate between love and hate.

Now, the psychology behind her and Mr Big does not justify why you should call your ex right now so put your phone down, but it is something to think about. 

Carrie took the road not taken for most women, especially during the 90s where gender roles in love where still a bit rigid. While it is true that it is always easier to date lovers who make the effort to chase you rather than pursuing it yourself, the easiness does not create the ‘fairytale love’ that most of us strive for.

Carrie once described her love towards him as a crash rather than a crush. But if something deep down is telling you that someone is your person, shouldn’t that account for something? Shouldn’t we all just go for ‘ ridiculous, inconvenient, time-consuming can’t-live-without-each-other love’, and get it right just like she did?

- Nina xx (yasminasayyid)

[elsarah]

Favorite clips of s5

Thank you so much @smblmn​ for tagging me, I love the idea! While the season as a whole was kinda underwhelming, it was full of amazing clips and I do have a lot of favorites. Here’s my top 10 and a few honorable mentions. I tend to have one favorite clip by episode, except for episode 8, which I REALLY didn't like. I didn't rank my picks, I'll just list them chronologically.

And since I didn't have the opportunity this season, I'm also making gifs to illustrate my picks :) I need the practice, as you can see.

Ep.1: Samedi 0:25 - Le choc

One of my favorite things this season has been the symbolism and the metaphors around sound and silence. In the first episode, there were 2 occurrences: Arthur seeing Noée for the first time underwater at the pool and him looking in the street as snow falls and slowly realizing he's gone deaf. I thought this was an amazing idea and that it gave disability more depth and beauty.

And that look at the camera in the last seconds… And the piano music… It was so chilling.

Ep. 2: Jeudi 20:59 - La nuit de

Globally, the scenes at the association were my favorites, even though I have a complicated relationship with them. Before shooting started in October, someone from the crew promised they would invite me on set during the filming of these scenes, but they ended up breaking their promise. I try to be as drama free as possible on the internet so I didn’t talk about it publicly but now that the season has ended I’m like “Why should I bottle this up, I’m not the the one who screwed up and I’m still hurt about it”.

The first time I watched that clip in January, I was heartbroken. Not just because of the missed opportunity but because I realised I never got to experience what Arthur did; there was no association for me, no one. But I still have a really soft spot for this scene because it's just gorgeous. The aesthetic is incredible and I totally understand what Arthur feels (minus the alcohol). Overall, as bittersweet as it is, it's probably one of my top 3 scenes this season (and it looks like it's one of David's too, this man has great taste). I can’t help but feel for the teenager I was and I wonder how I would have felt watching it then.

Ep.3: Vendredi 13:12 - Check de frérot

Arthur and Basile's friendship was one of the highlights of this season, heck Basile WAS the highlight of this season. Basile and Arthur never shy away from hugs and I'm living for it. I'm so looking forward to see more of Basile in season 6 (since I guess we'll see more of his relationship with Daphné). I loved seeing him be so well-intentioned, despite his usual clumsiness. Seeing Paul in a more serious register (for instance when Arthur lashed out at the boys in episode 6) was delightful.

Ep 4.: Lundi 19:02 - Les entendants

This one also belongs in my top 3. This is the representation I was looking for when I learned Skam France would tackle hearing loss and deafness. It doesn't come in the same package for everybody, and I love that they tried to show it through so many different characters. The situations described here are universal among deaf people.

On a more personal note, I loved that the extras were actual deaf people and sone of them well known. The lady interpreting is Jennifer Lesage-David, co-director at IVT, and she helped David and Niels a lot this season. And the girl speaking about her relationship with her dad is Lulu, she has a YouTube channel with her sister where they raise awareness about hearing loss. The instagram post that was published that day also featured a lot of people I more or less know.

Watching this clip was an experience in itself. I was attending a conference that night about deaf TV archives. The clip dropped 2 minutes before it started and I had to wait for it to end to finally watch. It was excruciating. Also, half the staff of IVT was there and I actually ended up watching the clip in front them. There were like "Wait? Jennifer was in Skam?".

Ep.4: Vendredi 20:43 - Ma vie a changé

While I'm still sceptical about Noée falling in love with Arthur so quickly (this sign song is unambiguous), I think this is one of the most beautiful scenes in the whole series. I don't care very much about this being romantically coded, I just choose to focus on the sign song, because I'm so happy they featured deaf visual arts.

My friend and I spent hours trying to decipher what the song could be about and our interpretation differed a lot from Winona's original text but we loved doing this. David was curious to see how my friend would understand it (especially the part where Noée signs a growing love which she cradles) and he was so happy when she understood it right.

For those interested, here’s what we interpreted (roughly translated into English):

Like two souls lost in the storm, Swayed by the tide, Never really seeing each other Until ours eyes meet. Something is growing inside me, something new, That sets my heart beating. You take off my mask and the truth in your eyes, Fills my heart. Look at me, I also see you.

Ep.6: Mercredi 18:31 - Un simple bout de métal

Also one of the scenes I was expecting the most this season, especially when it transpired that Noée was a bit radical. Her letter echoes my own fears and I thought it was really on point. Arthur admitting he needs her made my heart melt, he's so lucky to have met her. And Winona was amazing in that clip.

Ep.7: Vendredi 20:31 - Sourd dating

Just like for "Un simple bout de metal", I was also expecting that scene. I like that they made Noée and Camille voice their opinion like both faces of the same coin. It was a great way to address cochlear implants as they're a sensitive topic in the deaf community. I think this is one of the most shining example of the research work they did. They could have just stopped at Noée’s letter. But since they had deaf actors like Lucas, who is also implanted and has faced prejudices from radical Deaf people in the past, they had to show implants were not evil and that the situation was more complex than just “Doctors who want to act as gods”.

Learning Noée’s backstory was also interesting, although I didn’t expect her to be an "ex-implanted" deaf. She explains that she learned sign language at the association, which can't be more than 3-4 years ago (and if you look closely in ep 3, when Arthur checks the website, she says she joined the association at its beginning), but there's no way Noée would have that proficiency in sign language in just 4 years of practice. Winona's fluency in sign language is clearly that of someone who grew up with it. I loved being able to notice these subtleties.

Like all the clips at the association, it was a joy to watch because of the atmosphere and the sign language. The deaf extras were lovely. I actually got to meet a few of them last month and had an amazing time with them.

Ep.9: Vendredi 20:17 - Choisir pour toi

Coline. singing. Do I need to say more? I like that both Noée and Alexia had their shining moment and as clumsy as the story got, I appreciate that the writers didn't try to pin one girl against the other and make one superior. Noée had her sign song and Alexia her own composition. And both were breathtaking. What really gets me in this scene are the colors. I'm a sucker for aesthetics.

And of course, it was great to see Alexia stand her ground and break up with Arthur. I have nothing but respect for her and I'm team Alexia + happiness all the way.

Ep.10: Lundi 10:04 - La même vie que vous

When Melchior, Laura and the brochure subplot was introduced, I was a bit wary because their introduction scene was really, really awkward (it wasn't very well tied at first). By their second scene, at Arthur's place, I was sold. It was great to address accessibility and show that there's no point putting people with disabilities in the same bag, because there are hundreds of them and the needs are different. What doesn't change is our wish to live our life at the fullest, just like abled people. And this scene was precious. Seeing Arthur endorse this new part of him and support his peers was everything.

Ep.10: Vendredi 20:47 - Le meilleur des mondes

I'm still very emotional about this scene. Like… I don't know what to say, the music still sends shivers down my spine.

Honorable mentions :

Ep.1: Mardi 11:59 - 3, 2, 1,…

One of the only things Robin told me about the season when I met him at IVT was that the first clip would drop on New Year's Eve at 11:59 p.m.. That date became a beacon during fall and oh you wouldn't believe how much I waited for that clip to drop and how much I was looking forward to it. And it freaking delivered. The atmosphere, the tense music, that first shot on the loudspeaker, the confetti clogging it gradually… That teaser was a masterpiece.

Ep.2: Like… the whole episode actually. The alarm clock concept was genius.

Ep.4: Samedi 10:15 - Nouveau style

One of these gorgeous clips without dialogues that still say lots.

Ep.5: Samedi 10:03 - Maîtriser le langage

Oh my, this one was so relatable and a joy to watch. Camille explaining that sign language and mimes are different, Arthur being that dimwit asking about swear words and being told off for speaking… Kuddos to the deaf extras who had to pretend they didn't know any sign language, it was so funny (looking at you, Enzo).

Ep.6: Samedi 8:30 - Mythos

Seeing Arthur lashing out at his friends was cathartic. He roasted them so well, I wished I had his ability to speak so well when I'm angry. A+ work.

Ep.6: Dimanche 14:41 - Envie de rien

Alexia being the real MVP, as always.

Ep.7: Samedi 2:15 - Pool Party

It’s strange, because even though a lot of the story went down in this particular episode, it must be one of my favorites, like… tied with episode 2. It has probably a lot to do with the fact there were mostly deaf characters and that they had so much fun together. It’s something I can relate do, the sheer joy of signing the night away, which is something I didn’t get to experience until very recently.

As gorgeous as the underwater scene is, I'm not a fan of Noée and Arthur's almost kiss. I picked this scene because I love the moment of sheer joy that follows; everyone joining in the pool and having fun together. And of course the rise of Camika. I know it's a bit convoluted to have the two openly gay guys fall for each other first time they meet but… it just worked so well.

Ep.9: Mercredi 21:34 - Frère

This clip was about to make the top 10 cut when I remembered about another one and I had to remove it. Just Basile being lovely Basile.

Ep.9: Jeudi 17:30 - T'es pas tout seul

This clip was so important, bless the nurse and bless Jérôme. I wish Jérôme was my audiologist, to be honest.

Ep.10: Samedi 13:39 - Maman

Arthur's mom was so lovely and I'm so sorry she had to go through this shit with her trashcan of a husband. I liked her relationship with her son and her reassuring him he's not like his father was very soothing. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Arthur at the end of this season and I appreciate he’s well looked after after what he went through.

Ep.10: Jeudi 17:46 - Recommencer

Just like "Nouveau style" from ep 4, it's another one of these silent clips that has lots of meaning. Arthur putting back his glasses, slowly accepting his life won't be the same and that he has to move on. Except now things are clearer. Skam France love its symbolism and while sometimes it's very poorly done (like the love triangle emphasizing on Arthur's balancing between two worlds), more often than not it's very compelling.

Now I want to rewatch everything, so see you soon I guess :)

[jbuffyangel]

It Ain't Nothing but a Family Thing: Arrow 7x17 Review (Inheritance)

“Inheritance” is equal parts necessary exposition and filler episode. Not quite sure how the writers accomplished that, but they did.

Let’s dig in…

Emiko and Oliver

Soooo… here’s the problem guys. I don’t really care about Emiko. The whole time I’m watching this plot line unfold I am thinking, “Couldn’t Thea have gone all evil?” 

Take a pause and give that a good think. How awesome would it have been for Thea to take a deep dive down the evil hole? It would have been amazing, which is why I loudly demanded it for the six years Willa Holland was on the show. 

Watching Oliver try to pull Thea away from the Ninth Circle would have been a good time.

Not so much with Replacement Thea. The problem is I just met Emiko this season. I understand that’s typically the case when it comes to Arrow villains, but I’m supposed to bond with her character as Oliver’s sister and then be horrified when she turns out to be a villain.

Arrow even tried to fast track my bonding by making Emiko into Oliver 2.0.  I’m not really seeing the individualism except for evil. Every week the writers were hanging a sign out that said, “SEE? SHE’S JUST LIKE OLIVER!” by mimicking previous OG Oliver Queen scenes. Just in case you missed any of the visual cues or copied verbatim scenes, the other characters are here to verbally proclaim Emiko is just like her brother. 

Eh… keep it. Unfortunately, none of this has accomplished Arrow’s intended goal which is for me to give a crap about Emiko.

It should be noted that when Arrow does the “SEE? SHE’S JUST LIKE OLIVER” with Mia or “SEE? HE’S JUST LIKE FELICITY!” with William (and vice versus) I love it. Yes, I am aware this is a double standard. Maybe it’s because the kids have more personality than cardboard. Sorry Emiko. Facts are facts. Maybe it’s because they are Olicity’s kids and therefore my investment is virtually guaranteed. I don’t know. I don’t care. It’s Season 7 and I’m gonna do me.

The only thing keeping me mildly entertained with Emiko is that she is evil. I’m not really interested in watching her be redeemed either. I know I know. The season theme is redemption, but come on! Someone has to burn in the fires of Hades for all eternity. It doesn’t mean anything if every character is redeemed.

Typically, I am down for Robert Queen flashbacks whenever possible, but in order to make this storyline work they had to turn Oliver’s father into a tremendous pile of stinking douchebag. Robert was always kind of a douchebag what with the whole killing a man by accident, lying about it and then getting embroiled in Merlyn’s plot to destroy half the city because of his guilt. 

But he had gravitas. The class of an elder statesman. Maybe it’s the silver hair and grumbly grandpa voice I pray Oliver Queen will have some day. Maybe it’s because he put a bullet in his head to save his son. Annnnd… also murdered someone else in the process. Alright. Robert was a douchebag, but he was a mildly noble douchebag and I love him okay? I DON’T KNOW WHY!

But the Robert Queen in “Inheritance” is a misogynistic, slimy, cheating, coward who kicks his mistress and love child out of the swanky apartment he was putting them up at and tells his daughter, “Life isn’t fair. We don’t always get what we want.” Wow. 

That’s a great way to create a villain, Robert. Watch Batman or Star Wars or ANY HERO STORY EVER and learn fool.

Emiko worked hard to get her father’s approval or acknowledgement of her existence to the world. She wanted to run Queen Consolidated, but nope that’s a man’s job sweetie. Oliver Queen and his penis, which was whoring its way through Starling City at the time, are destined for CEO.  Emiko takes Robert’s misogyny in stride and simply asks him to back a company of her own, but he balks at that too. This is the last straw in a very long line of straws.

Unfortunately, Emiko doesn’t tell her father where to stick it and cut off all contact. No, that would be reasonable. Instead, she decides to go super villain on him. She impresses Dante after stealing from him and he agrees to train her. Emiko vacillates between being a Queen and joining the Ninth Circle for years, but the final brush off from Robert is the tipping point. She decides Dante is right and the Ninth Circle is her real family.

Oliver follows Emiko after Bl*ck S*ren warns she may not be playing for the home team and he sees her with Dante. Oliver confronts Emiko and she sings some song and dance about not knowing who the real Dante was when she signed up with him. Now she’s trapped. It works. Oliver buys it hook line and sinker, because blindly ignoring blatant warning signs is what he does when it comes to the Queen family.

He smartens up once he figures out Emiko sabotaged Felicity’s Archer program to protect Dante’s location. DO NOT MESS WITH THE WIFEY’S TOYS. 

Oliver and Emiko face off in a fight that’s a lot about her ponytail. It had a life of its own.

Sadly, this is one of the worst fights I’ve seen in Arrow’s history. I really hope Sea Shimooka isn’t taking acting tips from KC, because it sure looks like it. 

WHO IS SHE LOOKING AT? I’m not putting all the blame at her feet. Stephen upped his cheese factor about ten notches too. The whole scene felt awkward, choppy and forced.

Source: smoakmonster 

Diggle sits Oliver down for a much needed Yoda talk. John warns him not to be so invested in Emiko’s redemption that he ignores the threat she poses. Ah yes, the evil sibling plot line also happened in Season 4 with Diggle and Andy. 

Yeesh, alright it’s time for this show to end. John’s need to save his brother ultimately cost L*urel her life and he doesn’t want Oliver to make the same mistake. 

It’s time you left yourself off the hook on that one, Diggle. 

It was all win from where I sat, so stop being so hard on yourself.

UGH.  I tell the man to be Jesus and then he starts acting like Jesus!!! The nerve. Oliver, being a fully realized superhero doesn’t mean you save EVERYONE. Jesus didn’t save every – never mind. The point is, after seven seasons, now the pine tree listens to me? He could’ve popped the question in Season 3 and I’d be on my way to a second set of triplets, but nooooo.

Oliver wants to redeem Emiko because then it means he’s redeemed the family in some way. 

Source: olivergifs 

Why isn’t enough that you’ve redeemed yourself Oliver? You’re a Queen. You count. Yes, you were a massive douchebag once upon a time, but you stopped sleeping with Lance sisters (thank God), fell in love with sunshine, and embraced monogamy & commitment like the squishy teddy bear with abs we always knew you were. You also fight for the city, save lives, and cook your pregnant wife yummy veggies to munch on. You’re evolved dude. Cut yourself a break. And Thea isn’t exactly the Mistress of Satan. She’s off saving the world too. Two out of three ain’t bad.

This whole “Right my wrongs” needs clarification. First it was the list, but it morphed into saving the Glades. Then Tommy died and things kind of snowballed. So, how many wrongs are we talking Bobby? Let’s get specific. We’ve only got 15 episodes left. Did you sell Iran nuclear weapons? Use Moira’s toothbrush and not tell her? Steal candy from babies? Are there a dozen more Robert Queen kiddos intent on world destruction? 

Time is a wasting. I have a spin off coming and it needs to not be about your bullshit man.

Team Arrow ultimately foils Emiko’s plan. Well… kind of. They miss one drone, but no worries! It was just a demonstration. They’re worried about the next time, when it’s not a demonstration, but I was more focused on the few extra tidbits delivered in the final moments of the episode

Not only does Emiko choose the Ninth Circle, she is their leader.

She is also targeting the Archer program, which means nothing good for Oliver, Felicity and their children. Despite, my frustrations with Emiko’s character I am glad they are tying this all back to Robert and the Queens. Family is where this story began and it’s where it should end. 

Dante gave Emiko a gift when she was struggling between being a Queen or joining the Ninth Circle. It was the most hilariously unrealistic looking invoice from Merlyn Global, but it showed the location of the bombs on the Queen’s Gambit. Emiko knew about Merlyn’s plan and she could have saved her father’s life if she simply passed on the information at their meeting. But he rejected her once more, so Emiko sent Robert to his death and unknowingly condemned her brother to five years of hell. Damn.

What Emiko doesn’t realize is that by keeping quiet about the bombs on the Queen’s Gambit she helped set her brother on a path to become someone who can stop her. In the immortal words of Leo McGarry, “ "It ain't nothing but a family thing.”

Felicity Smoak

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Felicity wins Walter White. 

This is something many fans have been saying for years, including yours truly, so I am quite happy the writers agree.  

Felicity continues to slay at all three, but a key part to “having it all” is knowing when you need help. Felicity asks her friend Alena to join the company as CTO.  Look how excited this human rainbow is. She melts my heart.  

Source:  felicittysqueen

Unfortunately, I don’t really trust Alena. Yes, I know she’s helped Felicity in the past, but I still feel uneasy about her. Perhaps that distrust is unnecessary and her interactions with Felicity will continue to be adorable and on the up and up. But Archer is corrupted somehow in the future and I’m keeping an eye on Alena in present day.

Concerns aside, I did have myself a petty little cackle. Technically speaking, Felicity had a built in CTO for Smoak Tech on Team Arrow – Curtis Holt. Instead, the writers ship him off to D.C. and bring in Alena who, shady or not, is far preferable to Curtis. I just didn’t think Beth would agree with me. She’s like friggin Santa Claus.

The biggest issue I had with the spinal technology was it didn’t really connect to the Team Arrow storyline. A character feels isolated on their own show whenever that happens. My concern was Felicity’s great individual storyline was going to cut her off from the action. 

The genius of this season, and the retooling of Felicity’s company, is the writers have found a way to weave it in with the vigilante storyline. Smoak Tech no longer feels like an island they are placing Felicity on, but rather it permeates almost every facet of the show – both past and present. This means Felicity permeates every facet of the show.

Last, but certainly not least, Felicity continues to be a bad ass wife as she manages more Queen family drama.  The man is an Adonis who cooks, but oy does he come with family baggage. At least, Oliver’s reaction to this type of drama is predictable and Felicity doesn’t miss a beat.

When he comes back from the field empty handed Felicity knows immediately how to make him smile.

Source: olicitygifs

She tells Oliver he’s hot. That’s it. That’s how Felicity cheers him up.

He compartmentalizes and hyper focuses on stopping Emiko, but Felicity tells Oliver to take a beat and process. 

Source: olicitygifs

Of course, Oliver ignores her and becomes frustrated with the team when they aren’t moving fast enough. So, Felicity tells him to cool it. 

He ignores her AGAIN, but at least we are blessed with this glorious response. 

Source: oliverxfelicity

Where has this gif been for the last seven years? If Oliver is going to be a stubborn ass then at the very least his wife is going to drag him for it with some patented Felicity Smoak snark.

I think Felicity and Diggle have a system for deciding who talks to Oliver. Maybe it depends on circumstance. Diggle seems like the obvious choice because he had an evil sibling too. Maybe they rock paper scissors. Whatever the system, it was Diggle talking down their boy this week. 

We did, however, get some quality husband and wife crime fighting team work. YOUR OTP WOULD NEVER.

Source: olivergifs

After a long day of supporting her husband, incubating their child and stopping criminals, Felicity returns to the loft to work on Archer with Alena. And this was a light Felicity Smoak episode. Damn. Queen of DCTV is right.

Sweet holy Moses, how are we going to do ten episodes without her? 

I love Oliver Queen. He is my favorite character, but I think we can all agree Felicity Smoak makes him infinitely more tolerable. Oliver can be stubborn, grumpy pine tree left to his own devices. Hopefully, he’s evolved enough that all of Felicity’s hard work doesn’t go down the tubes the moment they are separated. He is supposed to be Jesus now. I think Slabside is evidence it won’t, but ten episodes without Felicity Smoak feels like a daunting task. It feels like climbing a mountain...

only to get stabbed in the chest and chucked off the edge once we reach the top.

Bl*ck S*ren

BS decides to follow Emiko and gets spliced with an arrow because she sucks at covert ops. 

Source:  nyssaalghl

She goes to Olicity’s apartment to speak to Felicity about her Emiko suspicions, but unfortunately the wifey isn’t home. Bl*ck S*ren turns to leave when she realizes the only person available to discuss her suspicions with is Oliver. I believe there's 0% chance of L*urel falling in love with Oliver and 99.99% chance she's already in love with Felicity.

Not to be outdone, Oliver offers to bandage up her bleeding wound. He takes out antibiotic and gauze and SETS. IT. ON. THE. KITCHEN. COUNTER. 

It’s a very large kitchen counter too, so it creates the wide berth these two require to stand being in a room together.  

 Source:  nyssaalghl 

We’ve gone from main love interest to stay on your side of the room. I died. 

I don’t know how we got here family, but we’re here and it’s fabulous. 

The writers are more anti L*uriver than I am, which is an impressive level of hate - if I’m being honest.

I need to put on a sweater whenever Stephen and KC film a scene because brr it’s cold! 

The L*uriver fans expecting sexy bandage time must have been deeply disappointed. Or at least the two fans left were deeply disappointed.

Of course, Oliver doesn’t believe BS because duh. My dog could’ve called that one. He tells her to mind her own business and pretty much kicks her out the apartment. Obviously, L*urel is right about Emiko, but Oliver telling her to shove it never gets old under any circumstances.

Then Dinah accuses her of murdering a witness 

Source:  nyssaalghl 

and L&urel is righteously indignant.

Of course, L*urel is right. It’s not like she has ever murdered before. Why on earth would anyone ever think that? 

Dinah even has the nerve to bring up her dead boyfriend again. She really needs to let this Vince thing go because L*urel played lawyer for the last seven months and helped get Oliver out of a jail. See? All better.

BS is redeemed now, so Dinah really needs to stop bitching. Arrow is my life tutor, so following that same logic I’m going to murder a baby and then buy a puppy because it will even the cosmic balance. 

The best moment is when Emiko releases images of Savior of the World L*urel L*nce meeting with Ricardo Diaz. 

Source:  nyssaalghl 

It’s going to be pretty tough for BS to keep up the pretense she is law abiding, justice yielding District Attorney L&urel L*nce when she’s hanging out with one of Star City’s most notorious criminals.  I take it back. Emiko is awesome.

Of course, I’m not delusional enough to believe Arrow is going to give BS an arc that actually qualifies as redemptive. Helping Felicity was a good start, but it doesn’t wipe the slate clean for me. Not by a long shot. Neither does being a fake lawyer. I would like to see L*urel pay for her crimes the same way Oliver paid for his by going to PRISON, but I doubt the writers will give me that much Christmas. I am very curious to see how “Lost Canary” shakes out. That said, I have very little doubt BS will betray her one true love.

Stray Thoughts

“Which doesn’t mean she’s bad.” I told you Olicity wouldn’t care Emiko killed Diaz. They brought the marshmallows to his bonfire party.

“On your own.” Stephen read that line super diva and it cracked me up.

“Being a father is more than just blood.” I hate to agree with a villain but damn he’s right.

Every time Felicity touches her stomach I happy clap. Source: olicitygifs

L*urel’s shoulder pads have to be stopped. Just say no wardrobe department.

Forcing me to go without this adorableness for an additional ten episodes is not oka. I’ll go through Felicity Smoak withdrawal which is hazardous.  Source: ebett

Does Emiko visiting her father’s grave make a damn bit of sense now that we know she played a role in his death? Nope. Didn’t think so.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x17 gifs credited.

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[mymelancholiesblues]

Just wondering, what your head canon for Leon's family?

Oh my god, I was planning to post this huge compilation of my RE Headcanons soon (starting with what I have for Leon) when I got your ask’s notification. Are you a mind reader? Hahaha. But really, thank you for providing me with a justification to start posting them.

I would like to please invite you to sit because I have plenty – honestly PLENTY – of things to share over this specific matter (Leon’s family). And, of course, to ask you to bear with me through them.

For anyone else whose interest might be picked over this: keep in mind that these are (obviously) my headcanons for Leon’s background and family and in no way is anyone else under the obligation to accept nor fully agree with them.

I wrote them down because I think A LOT about storytelling devices, stories structures, characterization and characters studies, world-building, fiction tropes, etc. and, since I’ve been a Resident Evil fan from age eight to this day, I also tend to spend a lot of time thinking about its characters – and the overall rest of its lore. Furthermore, as a way to help me write them in fanfictions or even in meta-analysis, I’m always thinking of what would make sense within these characters narratives and to their personalities.

Anyway. Back to Leon and his family!

There’s a very solid theory in RE Fandom that Raccoon City is set in Missouri. I really take this into account when I think about RE Characters because it helps me “placing them” before Raccoon, since not all of them were originally born/living there. Leon, for example, according to canon material, only decided to apply to be a police officer in Raccoon because “he was intrigued by the bizarre murders cases in Raccoon City” going in the news. 

Because of this, *my* Leon S. Kennedy:

– Was born in small Galena/Illinois. His parents moved to Chicago/IL when he was around 8;

– So, huge fan of the Chicago Bears (and the Chicago Bulls);

– Leon was lovingly raised by a very Catholic couple, Liliana and Isaac;

– Since Kennedy and Scott are, respectively, an Irish surname and a Scottish name and Leon is not an unusual name in Polish (check out about Polish Americans in Illinois and you’ll have a more proper comprehension of my thought process) and German cultures, I think Isaac would be a man of mixed Irish and Scottish heritage, and Liliana of Polish and German heritage;

– Although, his biological parents were actually Roberto (Italo-American punk) and Abigail, Liliana’s youngest sister;

– Robby was a drunken deadbeat, while Abbie was an airhead obsessively in love. Leon was conceived when they were both very young – his mom had sixteen and his dad eighteen;

– Liliana had three daughters (ages 10, 13 and 15) by then (1977), but she and Isaac always dreamed of having a little boy. They even tried to, but the attempts led to miscarriage after miscarriage, so when Abbie gave birth to Leon, the couple was pretty much devoted to their nephew, always visiting to see him and make sure he was properly being taken care of;

– Robby took note of all that and when Leon was only barely one year old, he packed his and Abbie’s stuff and imposed that he was leaving and that she should go with him, leaving the baby behind, telling her that surely Liliana would raise him as if he were hers;

– Indeed she did, albeit feeling distraught by her sister’s complete negligence;

– Isaac adored the boy, and Leon’s three cousins always treated him as their little brother;

– Also: Liliana decided she wanted to erase Abbie’s true connection to Leon, so she got rid of all the photographies that led to those deductions, leaving only the ones that showed baby Leon alone or the ones with the rest of his relatives, but not with his biological parents. Isaac never agreed with this, though. He believed that once Leon got older, he had the right to know his origins, believing that if their love for the boy was true he’d love them back and recognise their role in his life, so there was no need to lie. Thus, he kept a photo that featured Robby resting a hand in Abbie’s shoulder while she was breast-feeding Leon;

– Isaac was very ill when Leon was nearing his eighteenth birthday, and passed away just five months prior to Leon turning nineteen (Isaac was sixty-three years old by his time of death). Leon found that hidden photo after Isaac’s death since his dad left most of his personal belongings to Leon;

– Leon never confronted his mother on it, putting together two and two and realising his biological parents haven’t thought twice before abandoning him, so he shouldn’t bother with them either as he was raised in a genuinely loving and supportive family;

– As I said, Leon has three older sisters: Lydia (born 1962), Meryl (born 1964) and Olivia (born 1967). Two nephews from Lyds’ side, and a niece from Liv’s;

– Parents personalities: I picture Leon’s dad as a mixture of both Jonathan Kent (DC Comics) and Eddard Stark (ASoIaF). A firm, caring, kind, upfront and sincere man with high moral values, strong ethics and unwavering sense of justice, who valued honesty above all else and always believed in the best of people and in helping others, true to the “love your neighbour as yourself” commandment. Liliana was the more stern parent (especially with Lydia, always wanting and expecting her to set out a good example for her siblings), so I picture her as a fierce, proud and honest woman, passionately protective and supportive of her family, that dedicated herself entirely to whatever she put her mind into (domestic activities, city projects, EVERYTHING); 

– Lydia would be the “Patricia Arquette’s character in Boyhood (2014)” kind of woman. Kind-hearted, hardworking and amazing, but guilty as charged of the serious flaw of always being romantically involved with scumbags. A Geriatric Nurse, divorced twice, mother to Kilian and Luke – both kids from her first marriage;

– By the way, Kilian is a problem-child and Lucas is the emo kid. Leon has trouble dealing with both;

– On top of it, Leon have several difficulties dealing with Lydia. Being the most distant from him in age terms, Lydia always came off as a bit distant to and unnecessarily strict with him;

– Meryl is Leon’s lesbian best buddy. Confidant, a bit arrogant, always open to give advice, prone to bluntly point out faults in her loved ones and to get angry with Lydia. She graduated in architecture and is a state employee, working as an Urban Planner. Has cleaning OCD;

– Olivia is the sister Leon was closest to since it was with her he had the “smallest” age difference. Driven, headstrong, empathetic and an introvert, she’s actually the one who inspired him to join Law Enforcement and is now a detective in Massachusetts. Liv has a long-time relationship with Peter, whom she met during her childhood in school, and they have a daughter, Harriet (any coincidence with Olivia Dunham from Fringe (2008-2013) is on purpose since Olivia would be Leon’s perfect older sister, ok);

– Leon’s sense of humour takes much after his brother-in-law’s one, Peter, considering he spent a lot of time with him as he would be a frequent guest to their house;

– He fell in love for the first time when he was in middle school in his seventh grade with an eighth grade girl, Allison, who was an exceptionally good basketball player and would kick his ass in all the practice games;

– Allie has very evident native-American heritage, skin and eye colour, hair;

– It was Allie the long-time girlfriend who broke up with him right before Raccoon. She felt he was being distant even prior to his decision to be a cop in Raccoon City. In truth, what happened was that Leon feared his future being set stone too early in his life the way things were going. His wishes to have more agency over the shaping of his own destiny started driving him further and further away from Allie as he felt she was expecting their relationship to progress over time to the building of a family etc.;

– Meryl and Olivia both loved Allie and to this day they don’t get over the fact that Leon didn’t marry her;

– Leon unwillingly distanced himself from his sisters, though, only contacting them for birthday calls and holidays alike because of all of that government recruitment stuff and classified shit and also dealing with a heavy emotional load after surviving Raccoon;

– The only reason Hunnigan found out that Leon had living relatives was that Lydia called to give Leon the news of Liliana’s death in 2010 (by seventy-two years of age) on work-time. Leon, of course, was very shaken with the news;

– While Leon only knows what Ada herself lets him about her past, family, childhood and the circumstances that put her precisely where she is now, Ada knows everything there is to know about his past, family, childhood and the circumstances that placed him precisely where he is now because she’s very competent at her job and did her homework as a spy (this will die with her, but for countless times she fantasized about him confiding all of those mundane details of his life and backstory in her);

– I’m very convinced that in one of those nights Ada visited him for some hoochie coochie after like, six to eight months without seeing or talking to him at all, Leon had to break up the news that she came in in a bad time since he already planned for a Thanksgiving dinner with his sisters. Ada accepts the challenge because she’s been REALLY missing him (horny on main). Ah, and he’s quite upset with her because of that “six to eight months with no news at all” “little” issue. So, picture that. Please.

And that is all I have for “Leon’s family” headcanons. For now. As I warned: PLENTY. Hahahahaha, sorry! Hope this can provide some entertainment and delight to you.

[godofstoriessuggestion]

A Fan-%#&#$-tastically Good Story: A Reading Guide to Marvel Comics Loki

In other words: every Loki appearance in my collection of Marvel comics, in chronological order. (It's not everything in the past ten years, but it's really close, and I've tried to make a note where there's stuff I haven't read yet -- I'll get to it all eventually! Minimal spoilers, and I've tried to list the trade paperbacks where I can rather than single issues. Updated 6/27/2019.)

Old Loki

Thor by J. Michael Straczynski (aka the Lady Loki ones)

Thor, now king of Asgard and wielding the Odinforce, is returned from the void after Ragnarok. He decides to bring back the rest of the Asgardians and establish a new Asgard floating above Broxton, Oklahoma, but Loki plans to bring it -- and Thor -- crashing down. (There’s a lot in these, but particularly there’s a good amount of time devoted to Loki’s origin and how he came to be adopted by Odin.)

Thor by Kieron Gillen

Contains the leadup to and fallout from Siege, including Siege: Loki, a one-shot prequel that shows the deals Loki was cutting behind the scenes from his perspective.

Siege (aka the one where old Loki dies)

With the help of Norman Osborn’s Dark Avengers, Loki brings down new Asgard -- but the heroes bring chaos that not even Loki is prepared for.

Kid Loki

Thor: The World Eaters by Matt Fraction

In the wake of Siege, Thor misses his brother -- enough to bring him back from the dead, despite his many crimes.

Loki: Journey Into Mystery by Kieron Gillen (aka the Kid Loki ones)

The old Loki is dead and in his place is a new Loki, a child with no memories of his predecessor’s evil. But Asgard doesn’t trust him, and old Loki left behind plenty of schemes.

A+X 005

Loki manipulates Mr. Sinister into retrieving the sample of his DNA that Doom’s been using to try to clone him.

Young Avengers (2013) (aka Young freaking Avengers)

Loki schemes to manipulate a bunch of teenage superheroes into helping him regain his full power. Chaos (predictably) ensues.

Loki: Agent of Asgard

Marvel Now! Point One 001 (one-shot)

Loki hunts down a magic sword on the orders of the All-Mother of Asgard. A prequel to Loki: Agent of Asgard.

Loki: Agent of Asgard (aka THE Loki Comic)

Loki makes a deal with the All-Mother of Asgard: for every mission he takes on for them, they will strike one of old Loki’s crimes from the books. But he’s not the only one trying to rewrite his story.

Ms. Marvel 012 (one-shot)

(takes place during the first volume of AoA) Loki makes some mischief in the Valentine’s Day issue of Ms. Marvel.

(Original Sin) Thor and Loki: The Tenth Realm

(takes place between volumes 1 and 2 of AoA) Loki takes a break from dealing with the All-Mother’s missions by accompanying Thor on a mission to the sealed-off tenth realm to find their long-lost sister.

Angela: Asgard’s Assassin

(takes place after Original Sin but before AXIS) Loki has a brief part trying to help Thor hunt down their sisters when Angela steals Odin and Freyja’s new baby daughter, Laussa.

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 008

(takes place before the end of AoA but after AXIS -- the timeline is a little wonky here) Loki helps Squirrel Girl trap Ratatoskr -- never mind that he’s kind of the one that let her out to begin with!

Avengers & X-Men: AXIS

The inversion event is a big part of Agent of Asgard, but if you get the AoA trade paperbacks, it’ll be pretty well-covered. I haven’t yet read all of these.

Loki: God of Stories

The Mighty Thor (2015) (aka the Lady Thor ones)

Loki’s been out of the game for a while, but now he’s back doing the bad guy thing -- or is he?

Vote Loki

(takes place during -- and is referenced in -- the second volume of TMT) Loki runs for president.

All New Guardians of the Galaxy 012

Loki has a brief (but pretty!) cameo in which he impersonates Cable to prevent Drax from meeting the real one, and spies on the other Guardians as they meet other heroes, trying to track down the Infinity Stones. Kind of starts the ball rolling for Infinity Wars.

Marvel Legacy

(takes place during TMT) Loki gathers a group of frost giant runts -- the Black Ice Berserkers -- and sends them after a mysterious crate heavily guarded in a SHIELD warehouse, while Loki himself takes a trip to South Africa and makes a new friend. A prequel to Avengers (2018) and Infinity Wars (2018).

Loki: Sorcerer Supreme

Doctor Strange by Donny Cates (Volume 1: God of Magic) (Doctor Strange 381-385 aka Loki: Sorcerer Supreme)

In the aftermath of the Empirikul’s attack on magic, Loki takes on the mantle of Sorcerer Supreme.

The Amazing Spider-Man 795

The new Sorcerer Supreme asks for a little help from a certain friendly neighborhood superhero.

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (Volume 8: My Best Friend’s Squirrel)

When Tippy-Toe and Nancy Whitehead are abducted by squirrels from outer space, Squirrel Girl gets some help tracking them down from the Sorcerer Supreme. Space road trip? Space road trip.

Loki: ...Double-Agent of Asgard?

Thor by Jason Aaron (2018) (aka the one where they go to Hel)

In the aftermath of the Mangog’s attack on Asgard, Thor is trying to put a stop to Malekith’s War of the Realms and find himself worthy once more -- and Loki  is trying to help... probably. In the far future, things have taken a dark turn for the brothers, and not just because the universe seems to be dying!

Marvel Free Comic Book Day 2018

Odin entreats T’Challa to stop Loki’s plans to call down the Final Host. A prequel to Avengers (2018).

Avengers (2018) by Jason Aaron (Volume 1: The Final Host) (aka the one where he gets the band Avengers back together)

Loki calls down the Final Host, revealing the reason why Earth is such a hotspot for superpowers in the cosmos.

Infinity Countdown Prime

When Logan comes into possession of an Infinity Stone, Loki offers to take it off his hands. Another prequel to Infinity Wars (2018)

Infinity Wars Prime

Loki scours an ancient library for an answer to the question: why can’t he ever seem to win? Someone is pulling the strings of his story, and he’s determined to find out who. Still another prequel to Infinity Wars (2018).

Infinity Wars (2018) (aka the ones where he has a ponytail, finally.)

Aliens fighting over shiny rocks interrupt Loki’s existential crisis, so he does what he always does: puts together a team of superheroes.

Infinity Wars: Infinity

An epilogue to Infinity Wars. Demoralized after his jaunt into the Prime Universe, Loki is deciding what to do next when a fiery old acquaintance from the end of time drags him straight back into things. A prequel to Wolverine: Infinity Watch.

Asgardians of the Galaxy (aka holy shit what is HE doing here?!)

While Gamora’s playing Gotta Catch ‘Em All with the Infinity Stones, Nebula is determined to show that she’s still a contender for the title of “deadliest woman in the universe.” Angela and a motley crew of Asgardians (and adjacent) are out to stop her, but you’ll never guess who’s pulling their strings. (Well... something tells me you might have an inkling.)

Wolverine: Infinity Watch (aka one last hurrah before the shit hits the fan)

Old Logan finally reveals the reason Loki’s plans involving the Infinity Stones went awry and enlists his help to prevent a catastrophe.

The Unbeatable Squirrel-Girl #43-46

When Squirrel-Girl is unexpectedly teleported to New York during Malekith’s invasion, Loki sends her on a mission to destroy a secret Frost Giant base in Canada.

War of the Realms (aka what it’s all been leading up to)

Malekith is finally poised to take over Midgard with the help of his allies. Loki’s failure to stop the War of the Realms culminates in a final, tragic battle with his father -- Laufey, the King of Jotunheim.

War of the Realms: War Scrolls #2

Billy Kaplan has a brunch date with his old Young Avengers compatriot, Kate Bishop. She wants to talk about the good old days -- and what they’re going to do about Loki.

War of the Realms: Omega

What’s next for Loki? An epilogue to War of the Realms and a Prequel to Loki (2019).

Loki: King of Jotunheim

Loki (2019)

After Laufey’s fall in War of the Realms, there’s a power void in Jotunheim that Loki is all too happy to fill. Sorry, did I say happy...?

(to be continued)

Extra-Canon Comics

These aren’t part of the prime Marvel comics universe, but I think they’re noteworthy.

Thor and Loki: Blood Brothers (aka Loki (2004))

Loki has waged war on Asgard and won, and now he sits on Asgard’s throne. Odin and Thor are imprisoned, and all he has to do now is decide what to do with them. So why does he hesitate? An exploration of Loki’s character that definitely informs the movies and the comics, even if this comic itself isn’t canon. (Be warned if you’re looking for a lovely Tom-Hiddleston-esque Loki... this Loki is very, very much not that. This was yours truly’s very first Marvel comic~)

What If? Thor (2018) (aka what if Thor was raised by frost giants?)

The origins of Thor and Loki, in an alternate universe where Laufey defeats Odin and brings his son home to Jotunheim. At least as much -- if not more -- about Loki than Thor, honestly.

[darling-stay-with-me]

Favourite Episodes of Season 2 of Charmed

1. Morality Bites

This episode is so god damn good. Seeing what their futures were like was interesting. None of it obviously came true but makes me wonder what their future would have been like if Prue lived.  

That final scene Alyssa fucking killed me. Her acting was so heartbreaking. I love the quote of “Wrong things done for the right reasons still the wrong thing”. Holly and Shannen were also amazing as well.  

2. P3 H2O

I loved this episode because we finally learn about what happened to Patty. They alluded that she drowned but didn’t really say too much about it. Piper and Leo reading Sam and Patty's love letters to one another is so sad! They love each other so much but they just can’t get it together. 

I also kind of hated that Prue made Pheobe see their mothers final moments. While it did need to happen it just felt hypercritical since Prue could barely talk about Patty. 

3. Awakened 

First and possibly only episode where there is no demon or warlock involved it was just mother nature. Alyssa hits it out of the park in these episodes where one of the sisters is dying. Probably because it is Pheobes worst fear. But the scene where they are told that Piper might not make it out of this and also the scene where Piper was dying. Alyssa fucking breaks me. And big fucking episode for Leo and Piper with Leo breaking the rules to heal her and losing his wings as a consequence! 

4. Animal Pragmatism

I liked this episode because we got to see a bit more of a chilled out Prue, having no work or anything. Then there is a slow-motion kiss with Piper and Leo! God you think it is real that Piper has finally chosen Leo and this is their moment BUT INSTEAD, IT IS JUST HER IMAGINATION AND YOU FEEL REALLY CHEATED

5. Pardon My Past

Any episode that is about the history of the Charmed ones I love it. I also think it is interesting foreshadowing with Pheobe falling in love with a demon and becoming evil. Since that happens with Pheobe falling in love with Cole and becoming the Queen of All Evil.

6. Murphy’s Luck

I think this is a really touching episode on suicide. For the time where this shit wasn’t talked about, I think they did a really nice job in portraying it - having the Darklighter being the bad voice in someone's head. Plus there is baby Amy Adams in the episode as well!! 

7. Chick Flick 

An episode I have never related to Pheobe more - falling in love with a fiction character lol! This episode is seriously hilarious! There are some great one-liners! Piper’s line of: “I am being stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower”. Then Prue fabulous line of: “It’s the 21st century. It is the woman’s job to save the day”

Also side note: Prue mentions Mr Clean in this episode - yet they haven’t faced them yet? I am assuming they just read it in the book that's why they know of him? They also mention other demons that we didn’t see on the show? But I guess they fight demons outside what they have shown us???

8. Astral Monkey

I was very happy that they continued this storyline from Awakened. Continuity is not Charmed strong suit but they managed it with this episode. The chimps were fucking adorable - would love to know how the behind the scenes was with that. I imagine very difficult but they seemed to well behave hahaha! That final scene though with Piper crying in her bedroom and Leo orbing in to comfort her. The first innocent she lost personally. 

9. Apocalypse Not

I just love this episode coz it is one of the first times they had to choose between saving their sister and saving the literal world. I feel like the Four Horseman is very fucking close in 2019 at causing the apocalypse lol!! 

10. Be Careful What You Witch For

I mean this one is just tough with the fact Prue actually dies and we get to see Pheobe and Piper's reaction to that. While my heart is pleased we never got to see their initial reaction to Prue’s actual death in season 3 (aka Leo trying to save her, can’t, saving Piper and their reaction to that) but we got a good indication of what that whole scene would have been like. Alyssa and Holly acted the hell out of that scene. I will say I was a little annoyed with the fact they could have just called Leo directly to the scene and get him to heal Prue right then and there - but they hadn’t quite mastered that side of it. 

[im-gonna-liveforever]

ITS HECKIN TWISTED APPRECIATION WEEK SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS (part 1/2)

“YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I’M GONNA YELL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK LIKE I DID LAST WEEK BC TWISTED IS A GOOD HECKING MUSICAL WITH A GOOD HECKING SOUNDTRACK

(Now with favorite lines! bc why not, right?) (favorite lines either there bc I like the lyrics in that part or I really like how it sounds within the song)

I’m not a professional music person (I’ve been in band for several years and I’m pretty good, but I don’t know anything about music theory or anything abt singing) but AH WELL, I LIKE RANTING ABT MY SPECIAL INTERESTS AND THE INTERNET IS A GOOD PLACE TO FEEL LIKE I’M TALKING TO SOMEONE, SO HERE WE GO

(also there’s definitely going to be Twisted spoilers under the cut (for act one, at least), so watch out if you haven't seen it)

(also also I split this into two parts bc it’s getting late and as you can see by how this progresses, I got sleep deprived quickly plus it got way too long. This is part one with all the first act songs, part two will have the second act songs and should be up by tomorrow.)

OK THE OPENING NUMBER RIGHT?? THE INSTRUMENTALS?? THE HARMONIES??? THE GENERAL SAJKFDASJKFHDSJK???!?!? Like, it literally sounds like a Disney song but they cuss! It’s amazing!! (And all the citizens?? Comedy gold, every one of them, I swear) (AND THE FUCKINGJDSJKJDSKL SOPRANO PART???!? I’M C R Y I N G I FORGOT WHAT HER NAME WAS BUT SHES SUCH A GOOD SINGER THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE)

Favorite lines: 

“May the Rats ejaculate upon you!” “Thank you, thank you very much!”

“Why is everyone in the kingdom white?” “Uhh... Jafar?” 

“But ugliness permits a man to use his wits, ‘cause pretty people never have to try”

“UGLY OLD JAFAR!!”

pretty much  the whole song past the line “Why am I the only one who sees things as they are?”

Specifically “I want to be a cat!” “Wha-” “FUCK YOU!”

But more specially “Whistle while you swallow a spoonful of sugar and your dreams will come true upon a star!!!!” bc OH MY GOD IT’S BEAUTIFUL

Everyone listing how they want Jafar to die

ALSO SPECIALLY THE LAST 30 SECONDS BC AHJSAHJKADS (everything at and past the lines “and if we dream a little harder/ our patience and our honor...” etc.)

OK I STEAL EVERYTHING TIME! ULTIMATE CHAOS SONG, AND I LOVE. BE THE EVIL GREMLIN YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Also: the jazziness?? the opening instrumentals??? it’s so good. To the people playing the instrumentals for this musical: ,,,thank you,,,.,. (Also I learned recently that most of Jeff’s songs are in my range so guess who’s gonna try and learn this song?)

Favorite lines:

“Fetch, ya fucks!”

Did I mention the instrumentals?? bc hfhhhjdklsajk They seem simple but they’re also going ham and I love it

“Monkey thought we should just kill you, but I said ‘No, monkey, that’s crazy’ but now I’m thinking, yeah, no more fucking raisins...’“

“Thanks but no, thanks, ‘The Man’“

Honestly every line in this is golden, but I can’t put them all in and that sucks

“You’re only in trouble if you get caught!” “Aladdin?” “I’m in trouble!”

“Just one question, why, man?” “’Cause you stole my daughter’s hymen!” “That’s completely fair, but, in my defense, dude, your daughter’s hot!”

EVERYTHING AND MOOREE!!! SHE WANTS IT ALL AND I’M CRYING BC SHE SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL WHILE DOING SO. (I just realized that there’s 14 songs on this soundtrack and I’m sorry in advance for how long this post A) already is and B) is going to get) This song is so dramatic and that somehow fits the mood of her character and I love it so much and just ahdshjkds. Also it’s just?? So pretty????

Favorite lines:

“But it’s just like, whatever”

“I just want to be free so badly! You slaves could never understand. :(”

“You’re probably thinking, she’s got everything. Well, it’s true, ‘cause I do, but so the fuck what?”

“I WANT THE MOON! I WANT TO LIVE ON THE MOON! And eat it in a pie! And keep it as a pet! and wear it like a gemstone in my hair!”

“As I laugh in their faces of moonbeam pie!!”

“It’s enough to make me with I were lowly and poor... But like... with money!”

THA GOLDEN FUCJKLCIODIGN RULE. LIKE HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. AND THE DANCING THEY DO WITH IT IN THE SHOW ITSELF??? IT’S THE BEST. THE FIUCUING BEST. I’M CRYING. THE DANCING IS SO  GOOD. AND SO IS THIS SONG. Also, it’s the #1 Starkid song I’d be comfortable showing to my mom, which is a definite plus! (I could also show this to my church pastor and he’d?? definitely like it, so that’s also a definite plus) And everyone’s so nice to Jafar, espically compared to the opening number and it just makes me so sad and let me give Jafar a hug, goddammit. ALSO also please let me meet the saxophone player and shake his hand, I don’t play saxophone but what he’s doing here is amazing. WAIT ALSO ALSO ALSO MAY I MEET THAT FLUTE PLAYER BC I’M JUST NOW HEARING THE FLUTE (AND HOW DID I NOT NOTICE IT BEFORE, I PLAY THAT INSTRUMENT???) AND I’M FUCJKIGDFONG HOLY SHIT JSUT FUCKINGJDSJKL ;BOUNCE AROUND ON THOSE NOTES WHY DON’T YOU I’M SAJDSKCDSJS

Favorite lines:

“Why it’s as easy as a 1,2,3,4!”

“Always treat others like sisters and brothers!” 

all of the lines just sound so good, I can’t choose 

The way Dylan Saunders says “Man” that that first time, like holy shit

The whole conversation between Omar and the thief

[completely monotone] “My hunger blinded me and forced me to act like an animal.”

AND THEN OMAR AND THE THIEF SING THE PART AND IT SOUNDS SO GOOD

The “boop boop bop doop zeep do-wow!” in the background during that part

“Good luck Jafar! And! Re! Mem! Ber!”

And then the whole ensemble sings it and it sounds so good

oh good god we’re not even 5 songs in yet i’m so sorry 

GOLDEN RULE: EVIL REPRISE, OR, AS I CALL IT, “GOLDEN RULE WENT EMO BUT I STILL LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM”. Those dissonant sounds at the beginning? beautiful. All the random evil laughter? amazing. Whatever the heck the saxophonist is doing at the end? breathtaking, give me more. Joe Walker’s voice?? just fucking dhdsfjkfdlashjdsfklhfdsjkl

Favorite lines:

“Lets him rule the land WITH an iron fist!”

“The prize for winning? MORE GOLD, HAHA! And the game begins again!”

[sarcastically] “’Follow the golden rule’? Boy don’t be such a fool!”

“Follow the gold! Follow the gold! Follow the gold!” “AND RUUULE!!”

DID I MENTION THAT FUCKING SAXOPHONE PLAYER BC DUDE FUCKING AHSDJKDFS

the final “And Rule!”

Don’t be fooled bc this one is so short, it’s nearing midnight for me and also this song is really short. In reality, I fucking love this song and it’s one of my absolute favorite starkid villain songs and also one of my absolute favorites from this musical.

A THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS IS SOME FUCKINGNDSKLJ; GOOD SHIT I’M. Also, I don’t listen to it enough, so I’m giving y’all a running commentary as I listen to it for the first time outside of watching the whole musical 1) I love accidentals and key changes, and i’m,,, crying just the first verse is so good already, why haven’t I listened to this song enough 2) I’M CRYING I WANT TO KNOW THEIR STORY TOO THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS I’M CRYINGHJFDSJKSD 3) they keep using the word “’twist” and i’m ahsdhjkds bro 4) DYLAN YOUR VOICE. YOUR VOICE, IT’S TOO GOOD. IT MUST BE STOPPED, YOU’RE TOO GOOD, DYLAN 5) “LINGER OVER EVERY PART” OH MAN IT SOUDNS SO GOOD. SO GOOD. AHHHHHHDSHJDSFKLHJK 6) OK I’M LIKE ACTUALLY CRYINGN NOW THEY’RE IN LOVE. THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. OH  GOD OH FUCK 7) AND THEY SOUND SO GOOD, TOO, WHY HAVEN’T I LISTENED TO THIS SONG ENOUGH AHDHJKLDAS

OK I haven’t listened to this song enough to have favorite lines just yet, also I want to at least get to the end of the first act before I go to bed and it’s already midnight rn, so we’re going ahead and moving on (so sorry!)

IF I BE-FUCKIN-LIEVED. OH GOD. THIS ONE. THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THE FLUTE, THE WORDS, THE SINGING LIKE GODDAMN. This one is also kinda within my range so I’m also trying to learn to sing it bc it’s just that good (cons of being a contralto: you get no female songs in musicals, pros of being a contralto: you get all the cool higher tenor songs) The raw emotion in his voice??? I’m crying??? The strength and soul and beauty and just ashjdskl;jdsfkl; it’s so, so beautifully and wonderfully amazing

Favorite lines:

“Science says you’re dead and gone forever! Reason says I’m talking to the air! But something in my heart, some secret, hidden part, illogically insists that you are there! Somewhere!!”

“Perhaps it’s not too late, to change the course of fate?”

“‘Cause after all, I must be pretty great... if you believed in me...”

Again this song is really short and there’s not a lot of lines to choose from and also I love them all and dfhjskdskjl this is just such a good song

I’m still crying

ORPHANED AT 33!!! [insert Peggle 2 gif] CHAOS... T W O!!!! HE’S MR ORPHAN, AKA CHAOS MAN (NOW WITH A MUSICAL NUMBER!) (I’m also trying to learn this one bc let me splurge in trying to teach myself Twisted songs, ok?) He’s being tragic and over-dramatic and it’s a beautiful song! and I also love how in the studio version, he doesn’t mention that they died earlier that year, so it almost comes as a shock when he says “when I was orphaned at... thirty-three” and it just makes the song that much funnier, trust me

Favorite lines:

I know I said this abt most of the other songs up to this point, but can I say all the lines? because all the lines

“[My parents are] dead... that makes me an orphan :’(”

“‘Cause my story’s just too saaad!”

“They call me a jerk off! a burn-out! A punk! But I can’t let that stuff in my head!”

“All things considered, I think I turned out pretty good! I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and started s t e a l i n g  a l l  I  c o u l d!”

”I’ll make it through somehow, despite being so sadly and crushingly all alone...”

“I’ll BREAK THE CHAIN!! YOU’LL SEE!!! I’M GONNA L I V E  F O R E V E R!!!!1!111!”

The last “thirty-three” bc Jeff oh my god what is that voice

HAPPY ENDING TIME, HECK YEAH!!!!! THIS SONG,,,, SO, SO GOOD, I’M A FUCKING SUCKER FOR SONGS WITH MORE THAN ONE PART THAT ALL END TOGETHER IN A HARMONY. THAT IS PEAK MUSICIANSHIP AND JUSTHSDHJFKSAD Also someone pointed this out to me, but the way to goes from Aladdin’s weirdly horny lines straight to the princess going “oh Aladdin, you poor, innocent soul :(” is just the funniest thing to me. And how it calls back to thier own solos, I’m???!? OH AND INSTRUMENTALS AGAIN. THE BAND FUCKING KILLED IT WITH THIS MUSICAL, IT’S SO, SO GOOD JUST AHDSJKLAKKFAnd the energy in it?? The excitement for the next act??? I’m pumped!! Are you pumped?? WELL GET READY BC YOU WILL BE

Favorite lines:

Yet a-fucking-gain I love every goshdarn line in this song, it’s just too good

“They’ll throw a parade in my honor, with peacocks and monkeys galore!”

“The people will cheer!” [cool guitar bit]

[Jafar’s relatively calm part ends] [electric guitar starts back up and Aladdin jumps on stage] “I CaN’T wAiT tO bE A RicH DUdE!!!11!1!″

“Stealing is so much easier when you’ve already got tons of gold!”

“I’ve got my eye! On what money can’t buy! ‘cause that princess is OH! Hella tight! I’ll be the one who plunders her cave of wonders! I’ll get my happy ending tonight!”

“My innocent Aladdin!”

Yes i’m fully aware I put pretty much Aladdin’s full part in there, stop judging me, it’s a good part

“It puts a damper on our love if you don’t have a head” 

“So with with your permission, I’d like to bring back your bride!”

just. Jafar’s whole fantasy where he’s happy with his wife. I’m crying again, please just let him be happy

THE ENDING PART WHERE THEY ALL START UP AND BRING UP THIER OWN HOPES FOR THAT NIGHT AND THEY SING THE FINAL”TONIGHT!!!” ALL TOGETHER AND THEN THERE’S THAT COOL LITTLE 2 SECOND INSTRUMENTAL BIT AT THE VERY END IT’S JUST,.,, SO GOOD I’M DSJHDASHJKSDJK

Ok yeah that’s the end of the first act of songs! I should have the next part up by tomorrow, so get ready for more capslock and keysmashes and me generally being excited abt music bc MUSIC HECK YEAH DFFHADSJKHDAS

[spjm04]

Movie Synopsis & Review: Why "Thor: Ragnarok" is the Best MCU Movie

Taika Waititi's "Thor Ragnarok" feels more like an homage to 2014's "Guardian's of the Galaxy" than a sequel to the dark, dull 2-and-a-half hour bathroom break that was "Thor: The Dark World" It performs the balancing act of comedy and action that recent MCU additions try to accomplish with flair and excitement. PLOT SYNOPSIS The story begins with a bang as we see Thor lying captured in a crate, having failed in his quest to find Infinity Stones. Thor escapes to find Surtur, a mythical creature which threatens to destroy Asgard, in an event known as Ragnarok (hence the title). Thor then steals Surtur's helmet, the key to Ragnarok before defaeting an army of Surtur's minions whilst "Immigrant Song"  blares in the background. This scene perfectly sets the tone for the rest of the movie, and sends us a message. "Thor: Ragnarok" exists to redeem Thor. Thor's brother Loki is revealed to be alive once he returns to Asgard, and it turns out he had been disguising himself as Odin, yet Odin is in fact on Earth. Thor and Loki return to Earth and, after an encounter with Doctor Strange, travel to their father in Norway and catch him in his dying moments. After the tragic death of his father, it is revealed that the Odinsons have a sister, this movies main antagonist, Hela, Goddess of Death. Hela crushes Mjoilnir with little effort, before instantly going to Asgard. Thor winds up in space on a what resembles a floating garbage dump when he is attacked by a dangerous group who intend to eat him. Thor is, however, saved by a bounty hunter, Valkyrie. He thanks her, but she electrocutes him and kidnaps him. Thor is taken to Sakaar, where we are introduced to the Grandmaster. He runs gladiator fights on his plant, and after buying Thor from Valkyrae, throws him into a dungeon to await his fight against "The Champion" Meanwhile, on Asgard, Hela restores her undead army so she can conquer all the realms. Yet this turns out to be impossible as Heimdall is hiding with the Bifrost sword. Thor is thrown in to the arena to fight the champion, who turns out to be none other than the Incredible Hulk. After fighting for a while, Thor looks like he is about to die, until his new powerful thunder powers appear. He is about to defeat Hulk until the shocker in his neck stops him. Back on Asgard, Hela is about to execute a woman as no Asgardians will reveal Heimdal's location until one man steps up, endangering his fellow Asgardians yet saving the woman. After Thor speaks to Hulk, Hulk tells of the Quinjet that is on the planet, and so Thor begins to plan his escape. After learning that Valkyrie is also Asgardian, he fails to convince both her and Hulk to join him on his quest to stop Hela. Thor manages to remove the device from his neck before rushing to the Quinjet. Hulk follows him, destroying the Quinjet, but sees a video of Black Widow, which calms him down and for the first time in two years, he turns back in to Bruce Banner. Thor explains to Banner their current situation whilst the Grandmaster hires Loki and Valkyrie to hunt for his missing prisoner Thor. Loki forces Valkyrie to remember her past fight against Hela and forces her to have a change of heart. So, Valkyrie, Banner and Thor all form a plan to escape. Thor manages to steal a ship, despite Loki's efforts, and he escapes alongside his fellow "Revengers" Reaching Asgard just as Hela is about to destroy the remaining population who had attempted to escape through the Bifrost Bridge, Thor engages her in a vicious battle but is still overpowered and loses an eye. Feeling he is useless without his hammer, Thor has a vision of Odin who explains to his son that the hammer simply channeled his powers reminding him he is the God of Thunder. Odin also tells him that anywhere can be Asgard, as long as its people survive so will the society. Now realizing his full abilities, Thor unleashes a massive lightning bolt sending Hela flying. . Thor unites with Valkyrie and Loki knowing Hela will soon be back as she is only growing stronger from Asgard's power. Thor suddenly realizes that he cannot stop Ragnarok but must instead bring it about, and sends Loki down to the vaults to throw Surtur's skull into the living flame. Loki does so and escapes just as Surtur is reborn and starts laying waste to the realm as well as presumably killing Hela. Thor escapes with Loki, Hulk, Heimdall, Valkyrie, and his fellow Asgardians just before Asgard is completely decimated. Although Thor is upset about the destruction of his home, he knows that he had to do it to prevent the extinction of his people. He then finally meets his destiny and takes the 'throne' (really, the captain's chair on the bridge) where his first order is to return to Earth. CHARACTERS Thor Odinson: Chris Hemsworth delivers his best performance as the God of Thunder yet. He changed his Shakespearean-esque personality and tone, and mad Thor much more human. Thor has awkward moments, cracks jokes and is cocky when he wants to be. He is now one of the most powerful characters in the MCU, even without his hammer, and will be a formidable threat to anyone who crosses his path. Taika Waititi and Chris Hemsworth achieved the impossible; they not only redeemed Thor, but they made him one of the best characters in the entirety of the MCU's roster. Bruce Banner/Hulk: Mark Ruffalo's Hulk changed massively since his last appearance, mainly he has the ability to speak in cohesive sentences. Hulk inspired the Sakaar act with his hugely popular comic Planet Hulk. Hulk was still a well liked character before this movie, but t=audiences stock has definitely risen in the character thanks to Ragnarok. This movie also gives him a brand new arc that is introduced in the middle of the movie and is wrapped up neatly by the end, being Banner's resistance to transforming in to the Hulk. Hulk may seem like compsonic relief, but he is so much more than that in this movie. Hulk shows passion, anger and sadness. Hulk has substance, he has more than "Hulk Smash!" Valkyrie: And wrapping up the Revengers is the badass booze-hag played by Tessa Thompson, "Valkrie" Valkyrie is a bounty hunter for the Grandmaster, and is actually a brand new character. She is played excellently by Thompson, who encapsulates her sarcastic personality very well, yet Valkyrie doesn't have much of an arc apart from wanting revenge, and that's not all. Her personality also fails to have more features than the previously mentioned ones, assuming you don't include "alcoholic" as a trait. Despite this, Thompson has some hilarious lines and plays an important role in the movie. Thompson puts in a great performance as the Asgardian. Hela: Emo Cate Blanchet is one of the most deathly “Big-Bads“ in the MCU and she certainly acts it, but more importantly she hits all the criteria for an excellent villain. Firstly, she’s evil. That’s a given. Secondly, she’s extremely powerful. Thirdly, She has aplan with catastrophic results. Fourthly, she’s personally close with our main protagonist. Fifthly, she has a coherent motive. She has a right to the throne. And finally, she improves our hero, makes him stronger as a result of fighting her. She humbles Thor, which, once again, humanizes him. Korg: Played by Taika Waititi himself, Korg is the funniest part of the movie. His role is largely expository for Thor, but it's exposition done right. Every line Korg says will make you laugh, or is important, despite him being a B-List character. There is a complaint to be had that he was perhaps underutilized, yet his minimal appearance was absolutely perfect. Loki: Loki had a simple role in this movie but had huge development by the end. He started the movie with a typical Loki move, i.e not being  dead. Loki started of still evil - turning on his brother in the climax of the Sakaar act - but by the end there’s no more tricks. He played a big role in the fight against Hela, and when he’s on the Asgard ship at the very end, you can tell he finally feels for the first time that he has a family. His story id left on a cliffhanger though as during the fight against Hela, he presumably stole the tesseract. Final Notes Overall, Thor Ragnarok is without a doubt the most entertaining MCU movie. It has hilarious comedy, gripping, well choreographed fight scenes, amazing characters including one of the MCU’s best villains. 9/10

[archetype-online-blog]

Crash Course in Dialogue, Part I

Writers tend to stress a character’s actions as the most important way to show who they are, but creating effective, interesting dialogue is just as important to a great story. Good dialogue can illustrate interpersonal relationships, reveal fears characters don’t even know they have, show development, and so much more. At the same time—and maybe more importantly—bad dialogue sticks out like a sore thumb, making readers uncomfortable and unwilling to get invested in your narrative. Your prose might be amazing, but if your characters can’t communicate, it’s going to put people off.

But never fear! Here are a few handy tricks to writing amazing dialogue that will get your characters saying what they mean or misdirecting like a pro, all while drawing your reader successfully into the story.

Creating Unique Voices

When you start writing dialogue, one of the most important things to keep in mind is that your characters should all sound different from one another. Just based on their words alone, a reader should be able to tell whether your character’s personality is bubbly or gloomy, if they feel comfortable with the people around them, if they’re in pain, what kind of education they have, and so much more. You want these factors to be unique for each character, even if they were raised together or come from a similar background.

A great test is to write down only the spoken part of your dialogue, without any speech tags (he said/she said, etc.). Does each character sound distinct? Can you tell whose lines are whose just based on what they say, without the surrounding context clues?

If not, try some of the techniques below. There are so many ways to say the same thing differently—and reveal your characters’ history, personality, and quirks at the same time!

Techniques

Using lots of big words like abysmal, paramount, satiate, ubiquitous, etc.

This can make a character sound more educated, imply a wealthier upbringing, or show the care he puts into communicating. Or, it can make him sound pretentious, and become a trait that annoys your other characters. Just be careful your character doesn’t come off like a weirdo carrying around a thesaurus in their pocket (unless that’s what you’re going for, of course!)

Character 1: His rant was just the shameful rambling of a crazy old man. Character 2: The display was simply the ignominious drivel of a deranged geriatric man.

Using clipped speech—only a few words at a time, monosyllabic answers

Quiet characters, characters who don’t like their companions, characters who are in pain, and characters with something to hide might not want to have long conversations where they bare their soul to others.

Character 1: I really don’t think so. I’m sure I’d remember an intense reaction like that. Character 2: No.

Using terms of endearment or pet names—babe, sweetheart, bro, dude, pal

Depending on how these are used, your character can come across as warm and fuzzy, sarcastic, flirty, or evil and taunting.

Bonus: if your character is angry or distracted, they can leave off the pet names they usually call their friends. This is a good way to reveal to a reader—and other characters—that something fishy is up.

Character 1: Can you toss me that pencil? Character 2: Hey babe, be a sweetie and toss me that pencil? Character 3: Uh, that’s my pencil, pal. Character 4: Toss me that pencil, bro!

Speaking formally versus informally with contractions

Is your character uncomfortable around present company? Are they trying to act extremely professional to prove they’re qualified for their job, or still recovering from a strict, affectionless upbringing? If so, making their speech more formal can help convey what’s going on.

Character 1: Admittedly, I have been wondering much the same thing. I will look into it. Character 2: Yeah, I’ve been wondering that too. I’m gonna check it out.

Swearing

Depending on context, characters who curse can sound meaner, rougher, cooler, more laid-back, and even funnier than the people around them who don’t.

When using curse words, be aware of your audience. If you’re writing for kids or younger teens, you may get some pushback.

Remember that these words are sometimes at their most powerful when they’re not overused. When your sweet character finally snaps and mutters something really strong under her breath, you’ll know she’s at the end of her rope.

Think of Simon finally confronting Martin in the movie Love, Simon—if Leah (who swears all the time in the book’s sequel) told Martin to f*ck off, it wouldn’t have anywhere near the same impact.

And yet, in The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater, Ronan’s glee at swearing is one of the things that sets him apart from the more polite Gansey and Adam.

Try this:

Sit in a public place where people talk—a coffee shop, a food court at the mall, a break at school—and listen to a conversation. Write down what you hear—every little um or ah, pronunciations, pauses, stutters, repetitions. How do words, fillers, and phrases shape the distinct voices of the people you’re listening to?

Using Accents and Dialects

Another great way to make characters sound different is to give them accents or let them speak in dialects. If your character is from the South, he’d have a Southern drawl; if she’s from the India, she’s not going to sound like your classmates from Connecticut. But how can you capture a voice like that without making your writing sloppy or distracting (or exaggerating it into an offensive caricature)? Passages like the following, from Huckleberry Finn, certainly take a lot of concentration to read:

“Oh, Huck, I bust out a-cryin’ en grab her up in my arms, en say, ‘Oh, de po’ little thing! De Lord God Amighty fogive po’ ole Jim, kaze he never gwyne to fogive hisself as long’s he live!’ Oh, she was plumb deef en dumb, Huck, plumb deef en dumb—en I’d ben atreat’n her so!”

A general rule, using features other than phonetic spelling to show how characters speak differently can communicate the same information in a less distracting way:

Diction/word choice: Taylor from New York eats fries for lunch and chips as a snack, but Henry from London eats chips for lunch and crisps from the vending machine during his break at work.

Syntax/word order: Someone whose native language is English will likely say “the brown shoes” or “the white fence,” but if your heroine was born in France and learned English not long ago, she might say “I was wearing my shoes which are brown” or “the fence that is white stands behind the house”

Idioms: Different places have different expressions that mean more than what they look like. While you’d say you’re “buttering someone up,” someone who speaks Spanish might say they’re “stroking his beard.” Research idioms that would be a natural part of your character’s speech—or, make up your own!

Some phonetic spellings and slang, every once in a while, do a great job of signaling a continuing accent: s’pose, ain’t, ya, dahlin’. But if what you’ve written takes any amount of real concentration to decode, it’s going to be annoying, not helpful or cool. In other words, if your main character has a lisp, tharting every thentence like thith ith going to get really fruthtrating, really fatht. An’ writin’ an o’er-exaggera’ed Cockney accen’, owr a loooong Suthen draaaawl, is sure to get on your reader’s nerves as well.

If your protagonist’s baby sister with three lines has a lisp and says, “Thamantha, read me a thtory” or her great-auntie from Georgia bemoans, “Lawdy-me, it shaw is hawt in hea today” once in 300 pages, though, you’re probably good.

If you want an example of dialects and pronunciation done really well, check out the Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness. Protagonist Todd Hewitt grew up in a primitive settlement and can’t read—while always completely understandable, he does say “ain’t” all the time, and occasionally throws in misspellings like “creacher” and “recognishun.” The sections narrated by his friend Viola are more grammatically correct, because while Todd was doing farm work, she was attending school. And people Todd meets with even less schooling than him talk like this: “Ah kin give y’all a ride thrus. If ya want.” (But these characters don’t pop up very often, so the style doesn’t become distracting—instead, it highlights the differences between outsiders and the protagonists.)

A note of caution:

Remember that African American Vernacular English, American Sign Language, and other variations/translations of English have their own complex rules. If you aren’t familiar with a dialect you’re writing, don’t just simplify standard English, throw in an extra “be,” or take out some helping verbs. If your character uses one of these, do some extra research to make sure your dialogue is accurate.

Include the Right Kind of Content

So now you’ve decided how your character talks—but what should they say? Here are a few things to avoid: small talk, excessive info dumps, drawn-out background information, and background conversations. (Like most rules of writing, these can and should be broken if you have a good reason, but in general, they can be helpful in moving a story along and keeping it interesting.)

Instead of the characters taking up valuable space and audience attention on pleasantries, focus on the real meat of the conversation. Alfred Hitchcock once said something to the effect of, “Drama is real life with all the boring parts cut out.” Which would you want to read about? A character describing her brunch of thick, fluffy pancakes to her mother in mouth-watering detail?* Or the moment she asks her mother for $500—the third time this month—to cover her outrageous credit card debts? As the writer, you have the privilege and responsibility to pick the important moments to pass on to the reader—the ones that are important to the plot later, that develop the characters, that are memorable and exciting. Be kind to them—and yourself—by carefully judging what’s worth everyone’s time.

This then gives you an opportunity to work something else essential into your conversation—conflict. It’s very hard to make a compelling conversation where each character agrees with everything said before them. Just because “yes, and” works for improv, doesn’t mean it’s the best strategy for dialogue in fiction—instead, put your characters against each other. If they have opposing goals, or even slightly different takes on a situation, you’ll be able to flush out both viewpoints and push them to an interesting breaking point much easier than if they simply build on whatever the other says.

It can also be tempting to save long, detailed explanations for dialogue—especially when it comes to worldbuilding in sci-fi or fantasy. If you have a physics professor who’s perfected time travel or an old witch who’s worked out everything about magic, it would be easy to give them a few pages to give the specifics to your clueless protagonist. But unless you can’t get your story to work any other way, try not to do this—long descriptions tend to end up pretty boring, and hard to follow and remember. Instead, let your reader pick up fewer details at a time from different people, or see how things work for themselves. In the first Harry Potter, Hagrid doesn’t explain everything about being a wizard to Harry—readers get to experience the many magical details firsthand through Harry’s eyes in Diagon Alley, and then later at Hogwarts.

*Note: If your character is a cook and criticizes the pancakes because he could obviously do better, or if she grew up in poverty and is promising her mother she’ll move back home and take her to brunch every morning once she gets one more paycheck, this is obviously fine. So is her describing how great she thought the pancakes were if it turns out they were actually poisoned, and next thing she knows she’s waking up from a 10-year coma. And so on... Find exciting exceptions!

Try this:

Listen to a scene from your favorite movie and think about what’s included and what’s not. Do both characters greet each other and ask how the other has been, or do they jump right into the deal they need to make? Does one character agree with everything the other says, or do they disagree frequently?

Have more questions about writing dialogue? Leave us comments for Part II, coming soon!

[juleswritesthis]

My Thoughts...this is a long one - WilSon and DOOL

DOOL was great today. I actually watched the entire episode because I was so excited to see Eric beat up Brady. Now I don’t follow anything but the WilSon story so I’m not sure I understood it all but from what I ascertained between the yelling and accusations is that this lady Nicole was with Brady but wanted to be with Eric who she truly loved. So Brady blackmailed her using some evidence proving she committed a murder to some guy named Desmos or something. And Nicole not wanting to lose her daughter by going to jail was forced to flee Salem after telling Eric she doesn’t love him. Eric was left heartbroken and Brady found Eve (who just in the scenes I’ve watched is not much of a find, ugh annoying lady) who he is now engaged and loves and happiness blah blah blah. So hell yes Brady deserved that punch and way more. What a horrible thing to do to your brother, especially after he went after Will last week expecting Will to give up Sonny the man he loves for Paul. Thank you Eric! (Just a side note Greg Vaughn who plays Eric is an excellent actor. I remember him from Charmed season 2. He did an amazing job in the scenes today. I wish they paired him with Chandler Massey more, their emotional scenes would be incredible). 

As for the WilSon/Paul scenes oh soap angst and turmoil. So the way I see it Will is in a shitty situation. I understand why WilSon decided that Will would stay with Paul. When it comes to injuries like what Paul is suffering, attitude, state of mind and support of loved ones is imperative to recovery. If Will were to tell Paul the truth it could crush him and his will to recover (lol at the punning). So waiting to tell him the truth seems like a good idea for now (”seems”). Especially since it Paul’s family is nowhere to be seen. Brady is too busy boning his fiance and betraying his brother. John is busy hiding comatose Marlena and keeping from marrying crazy Hattie. And I have no idea what Belle is doing but she doesn’t seem too concerned about her brother. I’m not sure if Paul has other family but it seems like Will is his one constant support right now. Yeah after 5 months of dating it’s all on Will...crazy! 

But the WilSon plan is to have Will stay with Paul FOREVER is just ridiculous. First off they are doing this for Paul, but in the long run it will only harm him. Second this doesn’t only affect Will and Sonny but Arianna too. She deserves to grow up in a loving home with both her dads. Will should know better than anyone what happens to a child from a broken home going from parent to parent to parent. Third, Will and Sonny have lost 3 years because of the evil doings of others (Ben, Susan, & Dr. Rolf). They already sacrificed so much its not right to ask them to sacrifice their entire life and happiness. 

I’ll be honest this decision is being pushed by Sonny. I think Will would have caved already because he looked like he was going to hurl throughout that entire conversation with Paul. Will is absolutely miserable not only because he lost Sonny but because he has to lie to Paul , a person he does love. And there is Paul, his face alight with hope and excitement for the future and poor Will is feeling sad and guilty. 

So why is Sonny pushing this? Yes he cares for Paul too but this is mostly guilt. Sonny still feels guilty about leaving Paul at the alter. Of course I don’t see how Sonny had a choice at the time hearing that his dead husband could be alive. But I get how Sonny doesn’t want to hurt Paul more. Its going to happen though. Because Paul is going to find out one way or another. Listen to your mom Sonny! (I can’t believe I actually typed that :) ).

I figure Paul is going to keep questioning Will’s decision because lets face it, it doesn’t make sense that Will would remember his deep love for Sonny and not want to be with him, even Paul knows it. So Will is either going to cave or he will up the stakes by doing something crazy like proposing. Since this is a soap and Will is famous for his stupid crazy decisions, I’m going with the latter...or maybe they will just move in together when Paul is released from the hospital. 

Paul will either see Will & Sonny in a comprising position (kiss or hug or something) or he will overhear them or one of the many others who know about the WilSon plan. No way are they keeping this a secret with Adrienne, Justin, Brady, Eve, Chad, and Lucas all in the know. These people may be busy with their own problems now, but the truth will come out. And since Christopher Sean is leaving in a few weeks it will all blow up some time around November sweeps. At least that’s my bet. 

In regards to the scenes today, fantastic! Well mostly. Adrienne seemed more heartbroken than Sonny lol. She was bawling her eyes out. Is she suppose to represent WilSon fans? To think she was one of the few that opposed the WilSon relationship at the beginning. My how far she has come.

I snorted my way through the scenes between Justin, Lucas and Bonnie. I don’t know much of what’s going on but every time Bonnie refers to baby Bon Bon I can’t help but laugh. And then Lucas’ saying the first thing he will do is change his baby’s name...omg too funny. I would love to see Will’s reaction when he learns he has a new baby sister. Although he is probably use to his parents crazy lives by now (nope they aren’t boring! ;)).

Next Paul. I don’t know his character baffles me. Its like they prop him up to be this innocent victim, but he knew Sonny and Will loved each other fiercely back 3 years ago and though I place the blame on WilSon (mostly Will) Paul was part of the reason for their break down back then. In addition, Paul is continuously putting himself between Will and Sonny. He didn’t have to start dating brain damaged amnesiac Will. Why after the heartbreak with Sonny would he chose to be in the middle again? So he’s not an innocent. Sonny and Will’s continuous “Paul so good, he’s so perfect and brave” really grates me. Even if he wasn’t an angel this decision with Paul lying broken in the hospital would be hard so why keep rewriting history to support the poor perfect Paul image? 

In addition, Paul talking to Will about their affair like it was meant by the gods was crazy. Dude that affair broke a family it’s not something to look back on with fondness and a smile. Will looked like he was going to hurl when Paul mentioned Sonny as Will’s husband. Also didn’t Paul and Will hate each other and Paul wanted to be with Sonny back then. Did Paul get amensia during his fall too? WTH? But still watching Paul’s excitement and knowing the truth about who Will really wants does make me feel sorry for him.This is not going to end well. 

Finally Will’s last words to Sonny “He’s not you.” Wowzer Will. You know how to drop the mike. I’m anxiously waiting for that gif. That one 30 second scene was so well done Will literally didn’t need to say anything else. Agh the angst!

I just hope when all is said and done, the Days writers won’t find another reason to keep WilSon apart. It’s been almost 4 years, almost 6 counting Chandler’s Will leaving. So yeah really enjoying this angst for now as long as November brings back my WilSon time!

(PS to Paul fans if you happen to read this, I don’t hate Paul nor Horita. I’m just not happy with how they write for him. I wish he had more story than just Will or Sonny. It’s too bad cuz Christopher Sean is a good actor).