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#she’s just so. present yknow
htylmg · 1 year
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last day of school was today. thinking many thoughts
#i talked to a girl i used to have a crush on earlier this year the whole day and. hoo boy#i can see why i liked her let’s just say that#she’s just so. present yknow#like when someone talks you can tell she’s listening with everything in her#meanwhile my dumb ass is out here interrupting people all the time#but looking at her do it doesn’t make me feel worse it makes me feel BETTER#she’s like human serotonin#fuckkkkk this can’t be happening again#🫣🫠😶‍🌫️#god. and she’s a redhead but she may be the only one who actually PULLS IT OFF#and she’s muscular. ohhh my god she’s muscular#she was wearing a tank top and a hippie skirt (cause she’s like a hippie) and at one point she jokingly flexed her back muscles and i MELTED#thing is she has a boyfriend which is just. yeah sure great#tbh i would not mind being a homewrecker for her#that basic white boy can’t compete w me i got the power of curry and good grades on my side 😤😤😤#and one of our mutual friends all but confirmed she liked me back then too#like she app talked about me CONSTANTLY and was always checking her phone for my snaps#which got me kicking my feet twirling my hair yknow#but she told me she liked someone else back then so ???????#he was the dumbest football bro to ever exist i couldn’t believe he was in an ap class w us#but i digress. she’s gorgeous and has an amazing personality and likes to be around me sooo#this summer is gonna be my august summer probs#ooh i can’t wait#🐋.txt
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deoidesign · 4 months
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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spicyicymeloncat · 1 year
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Idk if this is a hot take but why is it always “Kai slaved away and worked his ass off to raise his sister” and never the other way round or them working hard together?
Like, I know he’s older but in the show, does he really… act older? Like if you think about Kai and Nya’s dynamic yknow? Because from my understanding:
When Kai and Nya are introduced we see Kai fail at making a sword and Nya being the one to chide him for it. Kai makes an overconfident statement about wanting to be a better blacksmith than his father. This suggests that one, Kai is rather rash as well as inexperienced (something that lines up with the rest of his character arc in the pots and also generally), with Nya being the more mature figure in contrast
Also just a note but in the shorts: “I can handle it!” “No you can’t, stupid”
Kai frequently being very good at neglecting people or things: leaving Lloyd at an arcade whilst being focused on finding samurai x, not even knowing samurai x was Nya or that she only did it because she felt left out by him, completely abandoning both Nya and Lloyd in s3 (and Ik he was going through it at the time, but in line with the fandom’s characterisation of him)
Kai in season 5: “After I lost my dad, I lost my way. But I was lucky to have my sister watch over me”
Generally, their dynamic isn’t one where Kai really provides for Nya at all. In fact, judging by the fact that Nya can make entire mechs and Kai struggled to make a sword, Nya was probably busting her ass to provide for Kai. And judging by the s5 quote, that’s probably true. I’m not saying Nya raised Kai, it just rubs me the wrong way when she’s treated like a decorative flourish to a narrative that paints Kai as a burnt out child who was forced to grow up too soon especially since that is such a mischaracterisation of him in the first place.
#all I’m saying is that it’s weird we undersell all of the sister’s capabilities just so we can present the brother as tormented and burdened#ignoring the fact that he spent all his days in the gap between the pilots and s1 playing video games#like I’m sorry kai is a pathetic baby girl in the show and I LOVE HIM THE WAY HE IS#okay yeah I snapped a little#I’m just tired of everyone mischaracterising him yknow#like I’m sorry bestie he’s not that capable he’s a loser man and I am ready to love loser men#i just think that it’s an incredibly stereotypical dynamic to have one male character who everyone completely#over exaggerates their struggles to the point of making it seem that everyone else in the story either doesn’t suffer or is an asshole for#not noticing the suffering of this one hot guy#this happens in many fandoms and I think this is what’s happening here#hhhhh#I’m sorry if Kai is ur favourite and this opinion upsets you I don’t mean to be bitch#I’m just really not into this interpretation of him#again this isn’t a dog at his character I just thing people don’t get him a lot of the time#and you know what Nya is also super undersold as a character#like where’s the fucking Nya Lloyd sibling content?#she mentored Lloyd too? she taught him how to ride dragons she stayed with him on the bounty she and Lloyd only had eachother in s9#what about them??#Kai gets too woobified and Nya doesn’t get woobified enough that’s my opinion#alright I’m done sorry#Ninjago#rant#ig this is a#ninjago analysis#i won’t tag characters cuz I don’t want to make anyone upset#and again I’m sorry if I do
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toastsnaffler · 10 months
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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....
#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space#like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else#other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh#to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn#i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding#and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt#unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow#and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation#abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol#and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever#and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress#i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes#like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up#a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl#ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs#im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo#.diaries#zzzzz
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red-moon-at-night · 1 year
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Survivor.
kind of a 'then vs now' comparison (idolhood vs living through everything post-idolhood) but in the same outfit.
the urge to quote "despite everything, it's still you" is very strong right now.
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fellhellion · 1 year
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“Miguel cheats on Xina and is so callous in his explanation of said act because it comes from a place of self sabotage” is one of those readings where I really like it’s implications and agree it’s plausible for Miguel to do that, but also think it’s harder to textually support.
The difference in Miguel’s reaction between Xina vs how he handles Gabriel is. Incredibly stark.
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I think reading self sabotage here with Xina only really works with the cruelty of mocking Xina as she leaves or making a face at her that doesn’t seem to hint at remorse if you read that self sabotage as being either unconscious, or a deeply suppressed. Which are plausible for the character as I’ve said; but I’d argue aren’t supported within the textual presentation we are offered here into Miguel’s supposed emotional state.
Compare and contrast to the confrontation with Gabriel. Miguel is still being a dick, but it’s not the active aggravation like towards Xina, more a sense of condescending pity.
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Most critically, you have the time to taken to offer small insight into Miguel feeling guilt at Gabriel trying to forgive him and retreating from that. It’s a reaction no one other than Miguel is privy to and hints at that feeling being aggravated and then suppressed. Most notably, it’s just. Not something we see replicated in his interaction with Xina.
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I don’t think any of this particular reading I’m offering here negates the obvious regrets Miguel holds regarding Xina into the future of 2099 though.
Like regardless of whether you choose to read it as active disregard or an unconscious self sabotage (or both), it’s very obvious Miguel holds a lot of regret regarding tarnishing that friendship (and the unspoken love that was present there) and this manifests in one of the most notable ways through the ambiguity to his reaction to Lyla’s confession.
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Like. You can essentially read quite a plurality into Miguel’s deflection/bemusement here. From his deeply complicated relationship to love and self hatred, to the fact that Xina becomes retroactively intrinsic to Lyla and that aspect offering the scene a completely new dimension, tinged with palpable regret.
I think it’s entirely plausible, given the ambiguity where Miguel’s reaction comes from to argue for that being present within this scene given not only its presentation, but that guilt over Xina is something we see present in Miguel.
#I don’t know if this is anything I’ve just been mulling over it#tldr I like the self sabotage reading and think it’s in character but I have my doubts about it being something you can substantially#evidence in the text#it’s weird because like. I think PAD’s authorial intent of Miguel just being a misogynist here actually makes the most sense w the#way the scene is presented. but because PAD is so allergic to having people criticise Dana the SINGULAR time Miguel verbally condescends#abt Dana is trying to bait Xina’s pride where he essentially implies she’s always been leagues smarter than Dana#which like. okay. but why wouldn’t that pattern of behaviour and thinking manifest literally anywhere else in that relationship#if you’re intending me to read this as a critical aspect to why Miguel is involved w Dana in the first place#(real reason seems to be just. this bizarre aversion 2099 has with actually having the cast react to Dana’s actions as more than#those of a hapless ingenue#) I’d like to be yknow. shown it more????#so you’re just sitting there going why tf was Miguel so needlessly cruel to Xina because you just don’t. imo. get that much of a tangible#establishment of condescension being a cornerstone to Miguel/Dana’s relationship#so ur just like well that was needlessly cruel. and bizarrely so given how palpable Miguel’s regrets are now#so ur just left there w a scene that is structured in such a way as to characterise Miguel as supposedly#being genuinely callous to his ex lover and best friend#BUT because the condescension isn’t reinforced at all beyond that one line#appears like a bizarre one off that hints at deeper if unacknowledged feeling in Miguel#and it’s THAT tension imo between the authorial intent and it not being that well executed that actually provides the most fertile soil#as it were. for the reading that it’s a self sabotage#which again let me be clear I do enjoy and think is plausible#I just think PAD fell ass backwards into creating the circumstances that imply it sbxhxjcjc#tunes talks 2099#long post
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xuanelle · 1 year
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inspired by that post, anyway some characters i think are trans
ID: a line graph titled 'transsexual headcanons spectrum'. on the far left is "oh well it would be fun for them to be trans ^___^ (closed eye smile emoticon) ( / a world where cis is the minority and Trans is the majority)". the middle is "I know them". the right is "Their lore is literally impacted by their transsexualism & I'm (edited to say not) the only one who sees it". characters on the left are ragman, karma and elektra. characters in the middle are mara sov, kiryu kazuma and moon knight. characters on the right are majima goro, baru cormorant and the martian manhunter. end ID.]
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cottageivy · 1 year
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some ava outfits ive done recently (with a mini lore? dump? ish? about fucking CLOTHES in the tags lol)
#ava*#ts4#these are their summer outfits#bc its summer in the technically present day if you wanna like assign a timeline or whatever#however present day has lasted a year so like that is a tentative title lmao#the top left one is one of her frog hunting outfits btw#i just couldnt add a bag with it bc of the headphones and they were such a vibe i just left it#interestingly enough they dont come out until like later in their teens? so canonically she wouldnt be wearing it this summer lmao#or maybe she would bc she kinda was just like. vibing in their sexuality yknow#she does kiss a girl long before she ocmes out so like idk#i also admittedly cannot decide their exact sexuality label? which is odd bc i usually have that known to at least me by now#especially since ive been brainstorming them a ton recently#much to think about#love how i figured out their gender/pronouns before sexuality lol#which was the opposite for me so maybe that has to do with it lol#anyways. summer outfits#she does get a little more put together ish in colder months?#but she really loves baggy tshirts esp in the summer so thats most of their wardrobe#also iher style does evolve in the fall-ish when she meets her best friend so#i still havent determined how exactly since im still working on their current style but#summer is a busy season for her actually#she catches a lot of frogs then and just kinda rolls out of bed and goes about their day#it does change slightly next summer when she like actually has a friend but this summer... very chill vibes#and i did try to reflect that in their clothes lol#anyways. im done now lol#ive just now hit a tiny groove with their style? like im figuring it out more so im excited to share it in relation to the 'story'
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cube-cumb3r · 10 months
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donna did get a bit flattened though to like just a device to further the doctors character development and healing... Like she out of anyone especially does deserve a happy ending and to be alive and well, with all her memorys and i'm glad she got it but it very much felt like she just exists in the story (at least in the giggle specifically) for the benefit of the doctor and his happy ending almost
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All my Lances have some flavor of gender fuckery/non binary going on with them however it's only sr!Lance who has sat down, thought about it hard and realized that "hmmm actually? To be completely honest? I kinda like being not a boy. It's nice, this is nice😊" Rest of them are too far gone for the Realization™, too deep in the shithole they have dug themselves in
#empty thoughts#stolen identity au#C&ai au#post s8 au#post s8 posting#stolen identity posting#C&ai posting#I am so sorry for being crazy about my own aus but this is my blog so pbbt- anyway (mentions of gore and murder up ahead)#This is especially insane cause again sr!Lance is victim of a violent murder who is forgotten and can not be perceived by anyone#dude was straight up skinned alive#You'll think he'll have much more issues than the amateur necromancer and garbage bin depressed cowboy dad#But no that is not what going on#Died and came back normal (ignoring the being eldritch horror part)#Them not being remembered and being alone does make her sad :(#But he doesn't mind her eldritch nature though. Cause that's just who they are. That's just what he is now#Sr!Allura struggles with what she is currently (human) while sr!Shiro struggles with what he isn't currently (Champion+BP+Captain)#They both consider the 'reality' and the 'history' they are struggling with to be fake#Sr!Lance just doesn't care because he neither has the history nor the identity#Neither of being a paladin nor of whoever they were before her death. Instead just focusing on present#Looking for her murderer. Understanding this world. Trying to know about the other one#Solving other murder cases. Doing things to help out people because the world is a bit supernatural. Inconveniencing the cops#Yknow stuff#Ps8!Lance and c&ai!Lance meanwhile are too busy dealing with consequences of their own actions to like evaluate their own gender
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eilooxara · 5 months
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bleh
I know useless yearning is my brand™ but it would be nice if I fell for someone who's actually interested for once
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chickenoptyrx · 2 years
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Don’t know if you’ve heard about this new dbs arc and I just wanted to know your thoughts on it? Also, what do you think about the Trunks x Mai pairing?
I saw, yeah. I'm personally p ambivalent about it- I hope its good but I'll just keep my expectations low :T
And yeah I really hope they drop the whole Mai thing now. 1. It's weird but 2. Supers version of Mai is boring, so we get all the creep factor but none of the weird fun personality- so like what's even the point? Guess I'm glad F trunks gets to be (sorta) happy tho
But 'apocalyptic hellscape lady w a shotgun' should not be this hard to sell to me (눈_눈)
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lion-buddy · 1 year
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being the resident nezuko liker is such a challenge sometimes
#ooo these tags contain complaining if u dont like that then see ya around <3#i would love to scroll through the tag without being bombarded by. awfulness. both bot and fandom posted#yknow. yknow. that is a 12 yr old#it has become!!! genuinely frustrating! it always has been#and i dont mean to complain but. man. im just disappointed#and.while kinda begin the kny mascot she is barley present in fan made content. with meaning. and its all mostly reposted art ugh.#and even official stuff has her only as little child nezuko and!! i get it its cute whatever but it feel so pandery and wrong all the time#i just poitn. that is not her that is a facet u r choosign to hyperfocus on show me the real her#and lets be honest the og stroyline isnt kind to her etiher she is nonexistent after swordsmith#i remember for a time when idid post abt her i was one of the inly consistent nezuko artists who wanted to like. put her in scenarios#and i want reiterate again that drawing cute art and gifs of her is fine it doesnt hurt anyone. i love to see it actually#but like. in a fandom as big as this youd think. youd think they like her more!!!! but no#and. the last thing i want to insinuate is “if u dont like my fav character then u suck” cus thats is not how fandom content works. at all#fandom is a experience for u to cultivate for yourself. and sometimes it just comes up short!!! i guess#it jsut felt weird being lonely in your liking of an aspect of the series where there are so many ppl. yet they all only like the hot men.#which again. u do u. nothign wrong with it. its anime afterall. it can just be frustrating sometimes.#idk! im also not very social so maybe its just my fault but. man. id love to find some other resident nezuko likers that. isnt just shippin#i feel interacting would be so much easier if my fav was like. one of the main boys like everyone else. or i made ship content or somethin#but like i said fandom is for u and u only if that makes sense. the point is to create things u want to see. which is what i do and enjoy#just with nezuko specifcally. i dotn want to put my stuff of her in the tags anymore cuz i just. dont trust the fandom with her. its weird#but also. appreciate those who did interact. i hope ur all doing alright <3 ty for talkign with me :]#i just needed to get this out cuz its. kinda why i dotn post abt kny anymore. especially the s3 fandom im sorry i just dont vibe with it </
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i might finally buckle up and see who to send an email to about the college apprenticeship workshops using kinda ... mm outdated .. JKR opinions as an example of hard work that switched my brain right off lol
im gonna be mildly more helpful than bitchy and try to find a replacement example but for the sake of not causing them problems lol ...
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beesholmes · 1 year
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c-130jsuperhercules · 8 months
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if I don't get out of this fucking store within ten minutes I'm gonna start screaming
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