#she's obsessed with being able to protect her crew

[jaxihammer]

You will never convince me that Isabel Lovelace is not disabled post-canon. Think about it.

Of everyone in the crew, she's spent by far the longest time in space. Sure, she's probably been exercising, but that isn't going to fully stop her muscles atrophying. Her bones are going to weaken. Not to mention the fact that she went into the cryo chamber, which we know isn't GREAT for you (I know Eiffel is kind of an outlier but still. Even once is gonna fuck you up at least a little).

Then add to THAT the fact that the body Lovelace has now was created by the dear listeners. Not only are they recreating a body that's already undergone almost a thousand days of the trauma of space; they're doing it with zero existing knowledge of how a human body functions in Earth's gravity. The clones are almost perfect, but there are notable differences in internal organs, and I wouldn't be surprised if Lovelace was put back together with some inconsistencies.

All this to say, I think Lovelace would become a mobility aid user when the crew lands back on Earth. Everyone on the crew would probably end up in physical therapy, but the damage done to her body would be by far the most extensive. Whereas I don't doubt Jacobi, Minkowski, and Eiffel could regain most if not all of their mobility, I think Lovelace would use a wheelchair, and eventually with PT could use crutches or a cane some days. Even if she were to regain muscle function, she would probably have some sort of chronic pain that would necessitate mobility aids!

In conclusion Let Her Be Disabled thank you for coming to my TED talk

[cherryblooom]

2XL — OP81 [ part 2 ]

Summary: You are a young artist who gained a lot of popularity at the ripped age of 14 due to your talent and unusual style. Your body is considered "voluminous" so, in public, you only use 2XL clothing, to protect yourself from people on the internet and feel more comfortable while performing. You have managed to keep your personal life outside the spotlight but when Oscar finally made it to the glamorous lifestyle of motorsports, everything changed.

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Reader

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Fic warning: best friends to lovers, kinda slow burn, slut shaming, weird people on the internet, people commenting about a minor's body, panic attack, body image, reader battles with her self-esteem, self-image, and self-love, Oscar is obsessed with his girlfriend and her body (not in a creepy way) and is not afraid of showing it, I hate Karly and will too lol

Faceclaim: Billie Eilish

Note: Oscar is a year older than the reader. SMAU mixed with narrative. Reader doesn't have that much access to social media right now as they are mostly controlled by their management. Some K-pop artist will show up 'cause why not? lol

You knew you were tearing apart your suitcase, crumpling everything in your path, even a dark blue dress your mother bought in hopes you would wear, but you threw it on the floor without any concern. That dress was the least of your problems now.

“Please, please, come on… there must be another one. Where is it?” At that moment, you were almost on the verge of a panic attack, and not being able to control it anymore, you felt the tears start to come.

You had your manager on your heels, people on social media looking for the tiniest detail to take you down, a whole crew ready to film the entire event to interview you afterwards, and on top of that you were on day two of your period, in pain that you could only describe as hell itself – could it get any worse? Oh, of course it can be worse. You’re a teenager, which means your body is constantly changing. You had to be on stage in about 30 minutes and you had no underwear, or to be more specific, all the bras you had in your suitcase didn’t fit. It’s not a secret that your breasts were one of your most striking attributes (and you try to hide them as much as you can) and you swore that they were getting bigger every day. With each passing day, you began to hate your body. The bras you have now were too small for you and even if you tried to put them on, all you could feel was the underwires digging into your sensitive bust and you couldn’t even think about walking or jumping.

''Yn, what are you doing on the floor?'' Karly, your manager for 2 years, entered the room. ''And you're not even ready! Come on, it's almost 7:00 p.m. and the show is about to start.''

''I can't. I-I don't know what happened, but none of my bras fit and they're so uncomfortable. I'm on my period and I think my breasts have grown and…''

''And what do you want me to do? Honey, I don't have another bra you can wear, at least not in your size. But why did you pack them if you knew they wouldn't fit?''

''I didn't pack them! I was going to, and you told me we didn't have time, and you'd bring me my suitcase later, and now none of them fit.''

''Look, how about you try wearing one and practice here?'' your manager said, and you heard an edge to her voice. She was upset, and it only made you feel smaller, like this was all your fault.

“I tried! I tried wearing one but it doesn’t work. I can’t even breathe without the wires digging into my bust and it just hurts,” you cried. You were upset and frustrated. This day should have been special because of the big show that awaited you outside, but it was turning into a nightmare.

''Oh my god. Yn, what do you want me to do? What can I do? Should I go out and tell your fans and the filming crew that we need to cancel the show because your bra doesn't fit you? You wouldn't want that, would you?'' she said, and you felt like crying more. She knelt down in front of you and held your hands as she rubbed her thumb against your skin. ''Honey, I know it's not easy, but we can't turn back now and even if we could, we'd have to tell everyone the reason for the cancellation and you wouldn't want that, right? Imagine the headlines'' You shook your head. No, you didn't want that. You don't want to disappoint your fans and give the media another reason to hate you and tear you apart.

—That’s what I thought. I know it’s hard, but just try, okay? I’ll have to double-check something with the film crew. Stay here and I’ll come get you when it’s time for you to go on stage.'' That was the last thing she said before leaving you alone.

You tried again with a black bra, the largest one in the suitcase, and began to practice one of your songs, but with each breath the wires sank even further.

"Fuck, damn it!"

Officially, you were panicking. There were about 25 minutes left, and you had no idea what the hell to do, at this point you couldn't even breathe, you were starting to choke, and your vision was blurry from tears.

The first thing Oscar heard when the call connected was your crying on the other end of the line and his heart broke into pieces. He didn't like hearing you like that.

''Honey, I need you to take a deep breath. Just close your eyes and breathe. Don't worry about anything but breathing.''

''I c-can't. I can't breathe and my chest hurts, and Karly is coming for me in 20 minutes and…''

''I know it's difficult, but honey, I need you to close your eyes and breathe. I don't want you to think about anything but breathing. I'll be there for you very soon, I promise.''

''No, no, please don't hang up, please…''

''No, my love, I will never do that. I want you to put your head between your knees, take a deep breath, and I need you to hold it for 3 seconds before you let it go, okay? Can you do that for me, pumpkin?

There were a few moments of silence where Oscar was worried, but when he heard you take deep breaths as he had instructed and your crying faded, he calmed down. It wasn't very common for you to have panic attacks, but that means it must be something very serious for you to have one.

''That's it. You're doing great, babygirl. Are your hands still shaking?''

''N-no''

''Perfect. I'm so proud of you, doll, you did amazing. Now please, tell me what happened?'' Oscar asked and after answering him, he couldn't help but feel the rage forming in his chest. He never liked Karly and, if it was up to him, she would have been fired months ago. ''Oh, baby, that's horrible and no, it's not your fault and you're not throwing a tantrum. You shouldn't go on stage if you're not feeling well and Karly is the one who should take care of things like that, but she didn't. It's not your fault. Don't worry, I'll fix it, okay? I promise.''

''But, how-...?''

''Just to trust me. My mom will be there with you in about 5 minutes, okay? And I'll arrive before you have to go on stage. Leave that to me. You trust me?''

''I do, I trust you''

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dailyop81 Oscar was seen today leaving a Victoria Secret's store afer he went to a Dior one, all of this before attending YN LN's concert. For whom do you think these gifts are for?

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twicetagram so proud of you girlyy! @ ynusername

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Radio Check: Part 2! I'm really excited how this story is turning out; I hope you guys are loving it as much I am.

For the news, I tried to make it like a real blog, let me know if you like it or if you would like me to keep doing it that way!

Tagged list: @xivilivix @multifan-idk @newlifeforus @diorbrxtz @vroomvroomcircuit

If you want to be tagged, just let me know and reblog if you liked it!

[milkbean69]

My thoughts on the Yandere Arcane Au

Tw: sorry y'all not good at writing yandere, yandere content

Okay before we get started we need to talk about what this universe of the undersity looks like pre- time skip. Honestly I think that this univers had a lot more progression in term of revolution and a lot less shimmer. Also considering the fact that Vander and Silco were able make up after Vi's death makes me think there was a lot less bloodshed between the two over the years. I mean of course silco when and found the note vander left but the fact that the crew is all laughing and partying together means there has to be new layers of loyalty amongst the crew caused by Vi's death.

Yandere's Vander and Silco:

OH GOD!!!! These two I swear, I honestly feel like in terms of protectiveness Vander would actually be worse. I mean he watched Vi die in the attack so you have that. He would not want to lose another.

If Vander was a platonic yandere, yeah no, your never leaving the Last Drop without him ever again. The trama he has from Vi is crazy. But if it was a romantic situation, he would be a little more lenient.

Now for platonic yandere Silco. I feel like a lot of protectiveness would come from a place of guilt and attonment. I mean his actions killed Vi during the pre-timeskip in this universe and he is probably still feel's guilty for that despite the fact that he has been forgiven.

So I feel like bring a young obsession or kid into the mix, would make him feel like he needs to make amends for what he did. Not only to prove to himself but for the others aswell that no other will die under his care.

Now them as a pair, would go crazy platonic or not. We need to remember something the two are brothers and the the pillars of the undercity. So the levels of communication and partnership are already there. There abilities to unite people would probably be where a lot of the Yanderness of the crew starts to fester. Always having someone with you, eyes and ears all over Zaun, and generally not being fucked with or else you'll have two of the powerhouse's of Zaun on you doorstep.

If this was romantic, they would share, God damn it. I don't know what it is but they would share, I just know it. You would be the king/queen of the Zaun in Silco's eyes, Vander hates it because he feels like if bring to much attention to you. Your always with on or the other. Silco defininatly spoils you, I mean you know he would.

Here me out, I feel like they both also have some fears from what happened to Felicia, so that definitly are supper on edge all the time because of that. One of both of them had to have liked her romantically, I was felling the vibes during the flashback.

Okay but I feel like they would be worse than the adults, in terms of platonic yandere's. Like we saw Vi's death really fucked them up. You would 100% be the Vi replacement. Expecally if you were older than them.

With Powder , it would be the worst. She wouldn't be violent, but more manipulative in certain ways., 100% a guilt tripper. Then would rope the other into it as well. Saying things to you about how you remind them so much of Vi, and there protection is just so you don't end up like her, so you should never leave them.

You probably wouldn't go on jobs, mostly saying in the last drop with Vander and Benzo. Maybe they let you go into Piltover, but you are always with someone. But never in the more dangerous parts of Zaun that have yet to be changed, and you still got to worry about the grey. the wouldn't want ther baby breathing in all that polluted air.

With a younger obsession, your never leaving there sights again. Even if you were a year younger than them, your getting little siblinged so hard. They have so much more experience now and realize all of the thing they did as kids was dumb and dangerous. They probably teach you how to fight just in case they are not there. But that is unlikely considering how mother hen they all are. If you ever when parkouring like they used to in piltover you would get an earful.

Powder and Ekko would make you little trinkets and gadgets. They'd make things to lure you in and bribe you. Or to love bomb you when you complain they are being to overprotective.

They would be so affectionate. Powder and Claggor the most, we all saw that scene with Claggor and Milo during the dance. Honestly I feel like Milo would be affectionate in the annoying older brother way, like ruffeling you hair and picking you. Ekko would be affectionate when you inationating it.

In tems of duos we would have Claggor with Milo and Powder with Ekko. Milo is the one to tease you alot, but he means well. He probably thinks he's the funnies guy on the planet, when in reality it's probably Claggor. Milo seems like the more aggressive on in terms of yandere's. He is the jokester character but see seems more scared that something might happen to you. That make him more aggressive and paranoid. While Claggor is more level headed and perceptive, but don't be mistaken, he has build and is the stronger of the two

Between Powder and Ekko, Powder is the one you need to worry about. She lost her older sister, Powder was the youngest of the group, so in her mind she is kind of filling Vi's role as older siblng, and must protect you like Vi did her. Should someone try to hurt there darling, Powder is the impulsive one but Ekko is the deadlier one between the two. Ekko is calm and more laid back, but he seems like he has the patience to go in for the kill on the first strike. Silent but deadly.

Now with romance, there all into you, sorry not sorry. I actually don't think they would have the company to share a darling. Powder and Ekko, maybe? But Claggor and Milo, definitly not. Milo would be that last to realize that everyone is pinning after the same darling, there all pretty perceptive so it wouldn't take them long to figure it out amongst eachother.

You would never have any partners, they would scare them all away. Powder would be the dustrusstful one spreading seed of dought anytime someone would flirt with you, saying there not good enought for you. Ekko and Claggor would be the intimidating ones, Ekko has the deadly glare while Claggor has the build to scare off any potital suitors. Milo is one of two, he is the one who likes to claim you already taken, usually with him saying he's you boyfriend, or the physical aggression type. He will get kind of pissy wanting your attention kind of annoying the person flirting with you. Then maybe ruffing the person's up after they leave your earshot so you don't see.

They would all try to one up each other in there own ways Claggor is the more laid-back type and lenient of yandere, so he would milk you needing to escape from the other craziness. Powder is clingy type and needs to be near you always. Ekko seems like the silent type, always lurking in the shadows, the man always has his eyes on you and knows where you are. Milo seems like the possessive and aggressive. Not aggressive in the, I'm going to hurt you type of way but someone else for looking at you the wrong type of way.

No matter who you end up with its going to be messy, I'm sure of it.

[dfortrafalgar]

Hiii! I'm so happy you are taking requests! I love the way you write, everything feels so real! I'm loving ILY and it's a bittersweet feeling now that it is ending (I'm the anon that commented early on saying that it was so relatable because I also had a miscarriage at 6 weeks). Thank you for that fic 🥰🤗

Now, my requests, if you choose to take it! I would love a jealous/protective Law X fem reader. I was thinking, no established relationship but some flirting going on, perhaps. Could be SFW or NSFW, it's up to you! I would just really loooooove some protective Law! I'm also obsessed with his hands so you can do whatever with that 😂

Did I mention that I love your writting? I did? I'll do it again. Thank you for sharing your gift! ❤️

I'm in annon but you can call me R.J. 😋😎

AAA HELLO R.J im so happy to hear from you again!!!!! no lie ive been thinking about you every day, your first message during my story was so amazingly sweet and touching and i havent been able to stop thinking about it, im so happy that you loved the end of the fic and to hear that you're doing well!!! <333

i ended up projecting a bit in this fic... and it ended up being a bit more Protective Law rather than Jealous Law, but i hope you like it all the same! i also juggled on nsfw, but decided that sfw worked better for this specific plot, so i hope that's alright!!!

thank you so much for requesting!!!! 💗❤️💓💕

Decontaminate the Heart

Law x Fem Reader

Your feelings toward Law had gone from a reasonable level of respect to a deep infatuation that you were readily keeping hidden. An unfortunate encounter with a predatory shopkeep might be what unravels your feelings... and the feelings of your captain.

Warnings: some descriptions of gross behavior from a stranger, light fluff, pre-relationship vibes, protective law but also struggling-to-accept-his-feelings awkward law

Law wasn’t fond of the word ‘jealous.’  After all, he was a seasoned veteran in the long game of Keeping All Human Emotions Bottled Up Inside So That You Don’t Show Weakness To Those Who Might Be Out To Hurt You.  He had become a pro at it, too.  After all, putting a word to an undefined emotion only validated that feeling, which was exactly the opposite of what Law needed.  Mouth constantly downturned in a pensive frown, steely, cold eyes shutting down all encounters with those he deemed unfamiliar or even the slightest bit threatening, holding even his closest friends at arm’s length on good days.  If he wasn’t the strong-willed, feared captain of the Heart Pirates, a man with a three billion beri bounty on his head, then who was he?

The answer is: a loser.  He was a loser.  Especially after he brought you on board his crew as a boatswain.  That day, he unwillingly began the downward spiral that would transform into his emotional demise.  A psychic catastrophe.  An inner turmoil of the highest degree.

Ikkaku called it infatuation.  Bepo called it love.  The rest of his raunchy, stifled male crew called it being horny.

Whatever it was, it had Law in a steel trap, never letting go.

And on a particularly warm, sunny day, docked cliffside on an island with idyllic spring weather, his steel trap was donned in a flowy sundress that complimented her entire outward appearance in a way he didn’t think was humanly possible.  When she first greeted Law before they departed the Polar Tang, she had bent down slightly, holding her hands together in front of her and pushing her biceps together just enough that her cleavage was on center stage for just a brief moment.  She had giggled at the way Law’s face flushed with a crimson hue.  Unprovoked… but not necessarily unappreciated.

Days for leisure were hard to come by as a pirate, so the crew was sure to take full advantage of the opportunities that crossed your path.  The pirates were given the freedom to roam to their heart’s content, so long as they didn’t cause trouble.  “Stress-free activities are crucial to maintaining good cardiac health,” Law would say.  But everyone knew he enjoyed some sparring days off just as much as any average bloke.

Especially when those days off were spent in your company.

“Thank you for coming with me, Captain!” you quipped, your voice cheerful as you walked beside him, a small paper bag clutched in your hand, containing a small product you had just purchased from one of the local shops.  The entire crew had shed their usual boiler suits for the day in exchange for more casual attire, you taking the opportunity to don the sundress that you had purchased a few months ago with Ikkaku.  “I’m always happy when you take days off to get out of that stuffy office of your’s.”

Law fought tooth and nail to keep the pleased smirk that twitched his lips from showing on his face.  He already needed to duel with his wandering eyes which kept itching to gaze at the way your breasts fit into the bodice of your light, flowy gown.  “Of course, it’s nice to get out sometimes.”  ‘With you,’ he added in his head before quickly balling up the thought into a crumpled mess and chucking it into a garbage pail.  The worst part about all of this, unrelated to walking side-by-side with you (which was the complete opposite of a bad thing), was the fact that he was pressured to leave Kikoku behind on the Polar Tang.  He felt naked without his sword perched on his right shoulder.

Your eyes were eagerly glancing between the storefronts that surrounded you on both sides, happy townspeople window shopping with their families and loved ones, partaking in the outdoor food markets, and spending quality time in the sun.  The domestic bliss of days like this always made your soul feel lighter, your footsteps almost floating off the ground.  A few couples passed by, their hands intertwined and souls combining with bliss, a sight that made Law’s own fingers twitch with the deep-seeded need to grasp your hand.  Every once in a while, your own fingers would tingle with the desire to reach out for him as well.

He wouldn’t hold your hand because of affection, Law told himself.  It was just to make sure other people knew you were off limits.

Was that because of affection?  Was he even entitled to such a thought?  

He stifled a frustrated groan.  “Are you looking for something?” he asked curiously, picking up on the way your gleaming eyes darted to and fro.

“There was a shop I read about in the latest paper that I could have sworn was on this island…” you muttered, bringing your free hand up to nervously stroke the skin of your cheek.  After a few more moments, your face lit up as your eyes landed on a shop tucked away between two larger markets, almost completely hidden from public view.  “Found it!”

Law’s heart almost leapt out of his throat when you subconsciously snatched his hand, yanking him out of the flow of people on the street and towards the storefront.  His stern golden eyes flashed up towards the sign above the front door.

‘WILD BILL’S PAWN SHOP’

“You read about this somewhere?” he asked, his voice revealing a level of skepticism as you stopped in front of the front door.  A dingy, beat-up ‘OPEN’ sign carved into a plank of birch wood and hanging from a rusty chain was flipped outward toward the street, beckoning townsfolk inside to peruse whatever wares were contained within the unassuming wooden shack.

You excitedly nodded.  “Yup, I was looking for places that might sell rare coins.”

Law’s breath caught in his throat.  “But you don’t collect coins.”

“I was looking for you!” you called out, flashing him a smile that could have easily put him in an early grave.  So much for being conscious of his heart health.  With the way his organ was hammering behind his sternum, he had half a mind to be worried about spontaneous cardiac arrest.

Instead of responding, all he could muster was a quiet, pensive, “Hmm.”

You finally released his hand (his palm felt so cold now), and pushed open the thin wooden door to enter the shop.  An obnoxious, ear-piercing bell chimed above the hinges, alerting any other shoppers or employees of your entrance.  Law always hated gimmicks like that, they were a pirate’s worst nightmare.  Instantly, the smell of centuries old dust and mildew flooded Law’s nose, making him suppress a sneeze into the collar of his shirt.  He was about to make a snide remark about being susceptible to allergens, but kept his lips sealed when an amused giggle emitted from your lips at the way his face contorted with mild disgust.

He blindly followed you to the back of the store, past dusty shelves containing books from all walks of life, old technology that Law had never even seen before, and antiques from across the globe.  Your expression remained one of wonder as you passed by each new item, gazing fondly at some of the more sentimental goods- boxes of old postcards, old newspapers from decades prior, wanted posters for pirates long deceased.  For such a ratty-looking establishment, the variety of wares this ‘Wild Bill’ had on hand was quite impressive.  In the very back of the store, a long glass case spanning almost the entire length of the wall was situated, separating a back room from the rest of the establishment.  There was a small space to walk around behind the case in between the wall, where small sliding doors were built in to allow someone to remove the wares kept safe inside.

Law’s eyes finally lit up in wonder.

A plethora of fine metalwork was kept in the special enclosure, jewelry with the finest minerals and perfectly sculpted details in precious velvet boxes, metal treasures surely passed down through generations of wealth, and in the nearest corner, an assortment of collectable, commemorative coins from across the world.  You smiled to yourself as Law drifted toward the coins, crouching down on his calves to more closely inspect what the shop had to offer.

He was so adorable.

“Can I help you folks with anything?” a voice from behind you asked, startling you from your affectionate daze.

A larger, older man emerged from behind one of the tall bookshelves, his hands in his pockets.  He was dressed surprisingly gaudy, a bright purple overcoat that traveled past his rump covering a sky-blue button-up shirt and a polka dot bowtie.  His belly was quite large, a curled handlebar mustache perched atop his upper lip.  He looked wildly out of place in such a modest, dusty shop.  Must be Wild Bill.

You flashed a cordial smile.  “Just looking around!”

The sound of your talking alerted Law, who stayed crouched in front of the coin collection but tossed accusatory glares over his shoulder, assessing the man’s interactions with you under an analytical gaze.  Out of instinct, as a pirate.  As a captain.  Nothing more… probably.

“Well, let me know if you need help finding anything!” the man hollered, his receding hairline making the dim light of the nearby lamps reflect off his oily skin.  He stepped behind the glass containers with a small huff and disappeared into the back room, a curtain swooping closed behind him.

With the outrageous stranger gone, Law resumed looking over the fine details of each coin housed within their own individual boxes, while you approached the other end of the glass case and examined the jewelry.

Your eyes darted excitedly between pieces.  Delicate rings with rare gemstones sat perfectly in their boxes, some dated as old as centuries ago.  A bracelet that was assembled with the finest minerals, gleaming brightly through the dim atmosphere of the shop.  As your eyes continued to dart from one object to the next, you finally found yourself entranced by one thing in particular.  It was a necklace, more of a choker than a longer-hanging piece, with a small purple amethyst mounted elegantly in the center of a silver pendant.  The complimentary silver chain seemed to be fairly heavy duty just as it was delicate enough to still be an elegant accessory.  You felt a smile pull at your lips.  You doubted you had enough beri to afford it, but you’d be damned if you couldn’t at least try it on.

Wild Bill once again appeared from behind the curtain after a few moments, placing a few items on top of the counter to be placed inside the glass enclosure.  Law watched as the old man’s gaze turned to you as you bent over, tucking your dress behind your knees to crouch down and get a closer look at the amethyst necklace.

“Anything caught your eye, missy?” Bill asked, his voice far too loud for such a small shop as he leaned over the top of the counter and gazed through the transparent surface at the pieces you were admiring.  A seemingly friendly smile adorned his pudgy face.

You enthusiastically nodded.  “Yes, actually, can I try on this necklace?”  Your finger pointed through the protective barrier toward your interest.  “The one with the small amethyst pendant.”

Law kept watching your interaction out of the corner of his eye.

“Of course, of course!” boomed Bill, bending over and sliding the door of the case open to remove the necklace, holding it by the chain in his large, burly hand.  

Without being asked, he stepped out from behind the counter and approached you from behind, unclasping the chain and looping it around your neck.  Law watched, his leg muscles tensing as you visibly stiffened at the proximity of the man as he clasped the chain together around your neck.  He pulled over a small standing mirror to have you admire the piece that sat elegantly between your collarbones.  Your fingers ghosted over the gemstone embedded in the fine silver, a small smile ghosting over your lips.

“It looks absolutely beautiful,” you whispered.

Bill stepped closer, almost pinning you from behind against the counter.  His large hands rested against the glass case, caging you in.  “It does… fitting for a beautiful woman such as yourself.”

The air went ice cold as Law watched the man’s hand wander upward, trailing across your forearm and up toward your bicep, across your shoulder and to your neck.  Your face had quickly contorted into an expression of terror, having been caged against the counter all of a sudden against your will, being caressed by this stranger.  Law felt frozen.  His brain was screaming at him to move, to do something, to get you out of this shop as soon as possible.  But he couldn’t move.  Why couldn’t he move?

“I’m sorry, I think I’m going to pass, actually,” you uttered, trying to push yourself away from him.  Your voice had quickly grown shaky, apprehensive.

“No, no, it really does suit you!” Bill murmured, his head angling downward, predatory eyes gazing over the soft skin of your neck.  The way he kept you pinned against the counter prevented you from moving away from him.  His belly was almost pushed flush against your back, making your hands tremble in fear.

“ROOM.”

A flash of blue light engulfed the surrounding area.  You immediately breathed a sigh of mild relief.  A static sensation permeated the space around you, making goosebumps rise across your skin and the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.  Just as soon as the bubble surrounded you, the predatory man was replaced with your captain standing protectively behind you, his lean hand on your shoulder to keep you steady.

Now he’d done it.

“You’re…” Bill stammered, his own hands shaking with realization.  “I’ve seen that ability, you’re… you’re…!”

Law didn’t give him time to fully realize who’s identity he was dealing with before his hand was in yours, forcefully dragging you out of the shop, harshly pushing between narrow shelves of delicate antiques until the two of you burst back out into the sunlight.  Law didn’t let up his pace, your feet barely keeping you steady as you ran.  Onlookers stepped back, shocked gasps and wide eyes following the two of you in your mad scramble back to the cliff where the submarine was kept concealed.  He just needed to get you some place secure.  Somewhere where you could wash away the phantom grime of the hands that had just touched you.

What a bad day to leave his sword behind.

The two of you had just barely made it past the outskirts of the port town when you tripped, slamming into Law’s backside and falling to your knees with a pained grunt.  The shoes you were wearing definitely weren’t built for mad sprints through a town.

“Shit…” Law grumbled, crouching down in front of you.  “Are you alright?”

Your hands were still shaking, anxiously palming the dirt and grass beneath your fingers as your lungs heaved, desperate to catch up on the oxygen you lost in your frantic sprint.  Small tears brimmed in the corners of your eyes, but you were quick to blink them away.  Your heart was pounding madly in your chest, your brain a fuzzy mess of scrambled, panicked thoughts that couldn’t make sense in any order.  Law was so close to you, so close you could almost smell the mild soap he used in the shower.  Something woody.  Mellow.  So very him.  You wanted to hug him.  The stress of the sudden incident was rapidly catching up to you.

Instead, the only thing you managed to do was blurt out an awkward, weary, “Thank you.”

Law wordlessly helped you to your feet, walking you back to the Polar Tang.  His mouth was drawn in that pensive line once more.

—

It took a few hours for you to register the fact that you had sprinted out of the pawn shop with the necklace still clasped around your neck.  When you took it off, you held it gently in your hands, gazing at the way the brilliant purple gem was nestled perfectly in the metal sculpted around it.  But the fingerprints around the chain from the predatory man who groped you left a phantom burning pain on your skin.  You still loved the piece, you truly did, and you wished you could wear it, but you felt violated.  There was no denying it.

You needed to scrub it clean.  You needed to scrub your own body clean, it seemed.

Law was in the medical bay when you carefully knocked on the door, hoping that no one was in there with him.  The tired sounding, ‘Come in,’ granted you permission to gently push the heavy hatch door open, stepping into the dim lighting and closing the entrance behind you.

Your captain was in the midst of re-organizing the entire medicine cabinet, floor to ceiling.  He did it when he was stressed.

“Yeah?” was all he asked when you entered, barely looking away from his obsessive work while you stood awkwardly in the doorway, holding your necklace in your cupped hands like it was a suspicious specimen to be brought to a lab.

“I know this is a weird request, but can you disinfect this?” you asked.

You held up the necklace by the very end of the chain, dangling it in the air away from you.  Law finally turned his attention toward you, an eyebrow raised.

“Why?”  He sounded genuinely oblivious to why you would ask for such a favor.

You rocked back and forth on your heels.  “It still feels like it has the fingerprints of that guy.  From the shop,” you clarified.  When you said it out loud, you grimaced at how childish you sounded, but at the same time, you felt your concerns, your insecurities over what had transpired, were justified.

You were violated.  Case closed.

It seemed Law picked up on that as well.  As much as he struggled to put himself in other peoples’ shoes, he could see the anxious look in your eyes that told him everything he needed to know- you wanted to wash away all traces of the man who burst your personal bubble in one of the worst ways imaginable.

Law felt a searing jealousy in his chest, the sudden reminder of the way your face contorted in utter horror as you were touched.

Your captain wordlessly stepped forward and gently took the chain from your fingers.  You watched him silently as he stepped back toward the counter, rummaging through the supplies he had laid out mid-organizing before procuring an opaque bottle of rubbing alcohol and filling a small container about halfway with the solution before submerging your necklace inside.  He capped the bottle and placed it back where he found it, amongst his other disinfectant chemicals.

“We’ll let that sit for a few minutes,” he suggested.  “In the meantime, I have these wet napkins you can use to clean your neck, if you want.”

He took the words right out of your head, as if he could read your mind.  You gratefully accepted the small container of alcohol wipes, starting with your neck and rubbing the cold solution down your collarbones, chest, and arms.  You didn’t care if it would dry out your skin later, the feeling of wiping away that man’s fingerprints in some capacity was more freeing than anything else in the world.

Law simply watched, glancing away from you every once in a while when you turned at an angle that would let you see him staring wanton daggers in your direction.  He shouldn’t be watching you scrub yourself down while fully clothed, if anything that could also be a violation of your unspoken privacy.

After what felt like hours, you finally disposed of the wipes in the nearby waste receptacle while Law fished out your necklace with a gloved hand, placing it on a dry cloth and carefully removing all the liquid from the surface of the metal.

He started speaking without thinking.  “Silver and amethyst are sturdy materials that can be placed in rubbing alcohol for disinfecting,” he stated.  “If this was some other weaker gem, like an emerald, it wouldn’t be so easy.”

You grinned, stepping closer as he polished the chain.  His hand that wasn’t gloved carefully moved along the cloth, outlining the shape of the necklace folded under it in precise, delicate motions.

Goodness, you loved his hands.

“So you’re as good with rocks and minerals as you are with health science?” you asked, a small, playful smirk on your lips.

Law’s own mouth twitched upward.  “I suppose so.”  He gently unfolded the cloth and removed the necklace.  “There, all clean.”

You grinned appreciatively, turning around and brushing away any obstacles in the way of your neck.

He stared at you from behind your back.  “... What are you doing?” he asked dumbly.

You tossed a glance over your shoulder.  “Waiting for you to put it on.”

Law chewed on the inside of his cheek.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” you confirmed.  “I trust you.”

What you didn’t say was just how much you trusted him.  You would willingly lay down your life for your captain, the love for him, both as a person and as a pirate, greatly surpassing that of a captain and his subordinate.  Sometimes, well, most of the time, you desperately hoped that he felt the same way.

After understanding your request, Law stepped toward you slightly, one hand still gloved as he looped the necklace around the front of your neck, bringing both ends of the chain around the back to clasp at the base of your spine.  His deft, inked fingers left scorching hot trails in their wake, your skin craving his touch.  The complete opposite of your counter in the pawn shop.

Once secured, you turned around to face him, a pleased smile on your face as your fingers once again ghosted over the delicate, purple mineral embedded into the pendant.  “How does it look?”

Law prayed that the blush on his cheeks wasn’t noticeable through the dim lighting on the medical bay.  He would put necklaces on your soft skin every day if you’d let him.

Oh, how he wished you’d let him.

“It looks great…” he mumbled, his voice soft and apprehensive.  “It suits you.”

His voice, the anxious tilt of his eyebrows, spoke volumes to you as your smile grew wider.  “Hey, Law?”

He turned his attention back to you, his lips pressed firmly together.

“Thank you for protecting me back there,” you sighed.  Your voice had gone quiet, but the look on your face was indebted.

“Of course,” he whispered back.  His mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, his brain clearly struggling to say the words he so desperately wanted to say.

The sight had you suppressing a giggle as you stepped forward, fighting back your reservations as you wrapped your arms around his torso in a hug, dropping your head into the crook of his shoulder and inhaling that scent that was oh-so familiar to you.  Disinfectant and oil, so clearly from living life on the Polar Tang, but also so distinctly him.

You loved it.

You were starting to come to the conclusion that you really loved him.

And with the way Law’s arms slowly wrapped around your own body, the hands you loved so much resting between your shoulder blades and the lowest point of your back, you started to wonder if he secretly, deep down in that weary heart of his, felt the same way about you.

[genericpuff]

This might be kind of a stupid question, but in total, how many times did Rachel retconned LO? I clearly remember Hypnos being trapped for 10 years and then it getting retconned to "a few days"

Also, Hera, Demeter, Hestia going from friends to sisters

Did something else get retconned…?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

this question got me thinking so hard i consulted the UnpopularLO crew, here's what we were able to come up with but there are almost definitely more examples:

Melinoe claims she's only been trapped for a few days but this contradicts what Hypnos told us about Kronos using a child deity to overthrow the Underworld in the first place. Unless this just means Persephone showed up just a day or two after everyone fell into a deep sleep, but considering the state of the Underworld when she arrives and other things we're told after the S2 finale, there's no way this is the case.

Speaking of Melinoe, the whole concept of "the interloper" was clearly something Rachel came up with on the fly and didn't have an actual solution to because when we're first told about them, they look nothing like Melinoe:

The weird replacement of Hades' imagined childhood self with Melinoe as a dream child who was actually "always present" throughout the first two seasons. Like, why is Hades so familiar with the ghost child 'checking in on him' if this was some random thing that started happening due to Kronos messing around with the timeline?

The sudden 'reveal' that Ouranos was the one pulling the strings and manipulating Apollo since the very beginning even though that makes zero sense and was completely unnecessary to explaining Apollo's motivations. Apollo himself even constantly flip flops between being some evil mastermind out to get Persephone for a very specific purpose (overthrowing Zeus) and being just a completely oblivious obsessed asshole who doesn't understand consent and actually believes Persephone is in love with him. After all, why would Apollo go on a date with Daphne and then ask her if she'd be willing to cut her hair to look like Persephone's if the goal was to get his hands on Persephone specifically for the purpose of using her powers to overthrow Zeus? How in the world does Daphne factor into that?

Throughout S1 and 2, the gods claim that the mortals are largely disposable and easily replaceable, but then when Persephone causes the plague, suddenly mortals need to be protected because their beliefs and rituals are necessary to sustaining the gods (funny how Hermes bounces between the mortals being necessary to save at all costs but also just inconvenient to live without, like which is it lmao):

The whole "plan" to overthrow Kronos bouncing between being Hera's idea and being Zeus' idea. Rachel just couldn't seem to decide if she wanted a strong female character like Hera to be a victim manipulated into abuse or willingly choosing to put herself in harm's way for the "greater good". IIRC it's written out in the end that Hera and Zeus couldn't even remember who came up with the plan first (but don't quote me on that, I need to find the panels, they do stick out in my mind but I don't know which episode they're specifically from)

The reveal that Hera was the missing fertility goddess depicted on the mural when the original reveal of the mural looks nothing like how it looks later in the flashback sequences. This is the same as the Interloper problem where Rachel was clearly grasping at setting up some kind of mystery box that she didn't know the contents of.

The reveal that Zeus and Metis had a relationship which is what allowed him to use her powers in the first place (because within that same episode Rachel revealed that a bond of love was necessary to using them, but then clearly realized that meant Zeus and Metis had to be in love)

Zeus consuming Metis was changed into some plan to "protect Hera" from being used as a fertility goddess power battery, but then Zeus just went ahead and slowly drained Hera of her powers anyways.

Metis becoming a star after being eaten by Zeus because reasons.

The text messages from Leuce and Hades were retroactively changed into a "manifestation board", probably to absolve Hades of "fooling around" while Persephone was trapped in the Mortal Realm, but all at the expense of a woman who was now retconned into being delusional just for the sake of strengthening the main ship and giving Persephone someone to bully.

The reveal during the trial that Eris was the cause of Persephone's wrath when there was literally zero reason for that to be the case.

The reveal during the trial that Thanatos was actually Hades' adopted son, which really doesn't look good on Hades considering how much of a dick he was to Thanatos throughout the entirety of the first two seasons without any impression given that they might have a canon father-son dynamic.

Apollo and Artemis WEREN'T originally going to be children of Zeus in LO, as Rachel didn't want to create any possibilities for incest within the messy family tree of the Greek gods, but then she decided to make them the children of Zeus anyways as a "plot twist" which is really silly considering 1.) most people would assume they're Zeus' children anyways due to being his children in the myths, and 2.) she still designed them to look just like Zeus.

The subtle but very present SA retcon. This one's so egregious and in-depth I wrote an entire essay about it.

Minthe was originally written with BPD which Rachel decided to "move away from", probably because she realized how shitty it made her look to give BPD to the one character she was pitting the audience against as the "mean other girl" who we all knew was eventually going to be turned into a plant.

Edited panels and changes in the physical books. This is unfortunately not something that I can fully document here, I'm planning on making an actual dedicated post for it, but people have caught changes both in the webtoon version of the comic AND the physical prints that point to Rachel trying to quietly retcon things in the wake of her own bad writing, one of which is present in that aforementioned SA erasure essay in which a scene was added to make Persephone seem more sympathetic towards Apollo. That said, there's also a scene in the trial arc that was changed in the webtoon version, in which Rachel retconned Eris' dialogue from revealing that Hades was the reason Demeter wasn't queen of the mortal realm to reminding her that Hades was the reason (because obv later on we'd get a flashback sequence showing us what happened between Demeter and Hades, which implied that Demeter knew all along what Hades did because he did it right in front of her):

(isn't it funny-weird how Persephone never asks about this despite being in the courtroom when Eris mentions this?)

There are almost DEFINITELY more examples of Rachel absentmindedly and/or intentionally retconning things throughout LO, but that's what we were all able to come up with and should at least get the gears moving in our heads when thinking about other instances of it throughout the comic. Granted, some of these are arguably less 'retcons' and more so just logical inconsistencies / plotholes / etc. but they all still point towards Rachel doing a very bad job at keeping track of her own comic's narrative, its characters, and its twists, even in spite of having multiple other people working for her who all seem to enjoy LO (including heyitsjaki, who is also a webcomic creator), an editor with a background in television writing, and a massive and dedicated fanbase that actively keeps track of her story and its themes arguably more than she does. At that point it feels less "oopsie daisy!" and more just deadass not giving a shit. I don't want to accuse her of intentionally doing this, but it's like she knows her fanbase will just go with whatever she tells them even when it doesn't align with other things she's told them or make sense within the overall narrative - and she'll still be rewarded with Eisner awards regardless - so she doesn't bother to actually try when it comes to the writing, it's just about meeting that panel quota and giving people more H x P fluff.

The simpler answer though, even outside LO, is that Rachel just can't write.

[aphroditelovesu]

Yandere Straw Hat Pirates Headcanons (Platonic)

❝ — 👒 lady l: This is, by far, the biggest headcanon I've ever written and I confess that I'm very satisfied with the result! I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes!! ❤️

❝tw: possessive and obsessive behavior, overprotection, unhealthy platonic relationships, and implied murder.

❝👒pairing: platonic!yandere straw hat pirates x gender neutral!reader.

The Straw Hats are a really different crew of pirates than the rest. There is no direct hierarchy between them, they respect each other and have affection for each other. Although they obey their captain, there is no tyranny between them but genuine friendship and care.

You were a resident of a small and little-known island in the East Blue, it wasn't really important or rich, so pirate activity was very uncommon there and you were grateful for that. Having grown up and taught that pirates are bad and everyone is a murderer and thieve, you had no desire to meet one.

You were a very calm person and lived humbly and peacefully and liked the way your life was. Until the day pirates arrived on your island. You were immediately alarmed, as were the other residents by their arrival, except that they were not ordinary pirates but the Straw Hats and your life took an unexpected turn.

They arrived and, contrary to the stories your parents told you, they didn't seem threatening or murderous but rather good people. This caught your attention and you were kind to them and even offered them food. Little did you know, that was your biggest mistake.

Their captain, Monkey D. Luffy, found himself attracted to you and he knew he wanted you to join his crew. When you politely declined the offer, he was determined to convince you to accept. He met with the other members and they all agreed with him.

It wasn't easy to get you to accept becoming a pirate, considering you never liked them, but you found yourself attracted to the offer. The idea of being completely free and being able to see the world was what made you accept, albeit reluctantly, Luffy's offer. You have officially become a member of the Straw Hats.

Monkey D. Luffy is very charismatic and funny, kind and a great friend. You adored him and respected him as your captain. Luffy was so pleasant to be around that you never really observed him closely as his actions are quite selfish towards you.

He is selfless, but Luffy still has a selfish side and doesn't want to share his attention with anyone. He is not possessive, but controlling. Luffy wants to know everything about you, where you're going, who you're with and what you've done. He demands to know and will get angry if he doesn't know. Luffy watches over you a lot, not only as your captain, but as his friend. He just wants to make sure that you are happy and satisfied with your friends and, most importantly, with yourself.

Roronoa Zoro, although a little more distant, has a troubled affection for you. He's not close and has that air of arrogance around you, which made you think he doesn't like you. But the truth is that he doesn't know how to deal with you, with the feelings he has. So he thinks it's best to stay away, fearing for his own sanity.

But Zoro can't do it. He wants to be close to you and he will, his main reason is when he feels jealous of your closeness to the rest. He doesn't want to be left aside, so he decides to become close to you. Zoro is possessive and arrogant, he wants to be preferred and feels jealous when someone steals his attention. He's not very easy to deal with, but Zoro knows how to be nice when he wants to be. He is very overprotective and will fight anyone to protect you, including his own friends.

Nami is relaxed and fun, she likes to take you to have fun with her, usually to drink. She is very persuasive and manipulative, you can hardly say no to her. Nami is cunning and doesn't usually get into fights, preferring to let her friends get involved, but for you, she won't care and will get into fights to protect you.

She wants to be your favorite, your number one and the one you go to for comfort or guidance. Nami is very worried about you and cares a lot about your well-being, she gets easily upset when you are sad or angry, and will take satisfaction from anyone who hurt you. However, she will not recognize if she is the cause.

Usopp is very anxious and insecure, although he tries his best not to show it, there is no denying that he feels very bad about himself often and will count on you to pull himself together. He is very sentimental and is easily hurt and will be furious if it is you who hurt him, but will become unbearable if someone makes you sad.

He loses his cool very easily and cries so easily it's ridiculous and Usopp will always go to you for comfort. He values you so much and it will get to the point where he will pretend to be sad just to receive any form of affection from you, he lives for that. He has no qualms about lying to have you hug him or whisper words of comfort to him.

Sanji is calm and rational, always very polite and it is very rare to see him lose his calm. He is very careful around you and loves to load you up with food, cooking your favorites and prioritizing you at every meal. Sanji is very nice and always makes you laugh, loving to hear you laugh or smile. He makes you feel comfortable around him, with his unwavering politeness and calm.

He never acts without thinking and everything he does is carefully planned, especially when it's about you. Sanji is the one who takes care of you the most and is always checking up on you, whether it's listening to you talk or watching you, he never fails and is always calm and smiling. Although he is very kind, Sanji will have no problem having to deal with anyone who dares to harm or hurt you.

Tony Tony Chopper is very kind and attached to you, more than he is to Nami. He is very shy at first, preferring to hide and watch you from afar, fascinated by you but afraid to get closer. He loves to imitate you and takes care of you, especially when you are hurt and need medical attention, often freaking out before realizing he is a doctor.

He is a great friend, very fair and loyal, constantly following you and making sure you are well and comfortable. Although he doesn't feel as comfortable with humans, the affection and care he feels for you is undeniable. He smiles and dances happily when he is praised by you.

Franky loves to flirt with you and does it constantly, even if he is just joking. He loves showing off for you and does it very often, going shirtless around you and trying to get your attention. Franky is a spirit and loves breaking the rules and will try to convince you to break them with him, he is always encouraging you to do what you want without caring what you think.

Although he acts this way, Franky is very protective and kind towards you and knows when to act maturely around you and is always trying to make you smile because he loves your smile. He takes great care of you and is selfless to the extreme, always putting himself first when you are in danger. Franky wants you to be well and happy and he will go to extreme lengths to make sure you are safe and happy.

Brook is eccentric and a shameless pervert and he flirts and hits on you more than anyone and feels no shame or regret in doing so. However, he truly enjoys your company and is kind to you, always prioritizing your wants and needs above anyone else's. He despises meanness and will go against anyone who is mean or acts wrong towards you.

He is very fair and compassionate towards everyone, but when it comes to you, there is an obvious preference and care. Brook is very polite, but he has his limits and will become furious if something happens to you. He has his morals and is empathetic, but that quickly changes when you get involved.

Robin is the calmest of the crew, always calm and reserved, it's impossible to know what she's thinking and she's not as open or transparent as the others. She rarely shows her emotions and this reflects on the way she acts towards you. Robin is very calm in her obsession and no one will be able to notice what she feels for you, her feelings are very well disguised and controlled.

It's very rare to see her lose her cool or get angry and when that happens, everyone gets scared. Robin has become less calm after meeting you and she, although reserved about her feelings, will make a point of taking care of you and showing you all the care and affection she can offer you.

Jinbe is very proud to be a fishman and has great honor. He hates pirates, even though he is one. He has mixed feelings for you, he admires you but hates the fact that you're a pirate and doesn't usually spend so much time by your side, but he cares deeply for you in his own way.

He is not dangerous and will never hurt you or show any violence towards you, he wants to take care of you and will do so in any way he can. Jinbe is very kind and tries his best to make you happy.

The Straw Hats are very overprotective of you and everyone cares and cares in their own specific way, but what they all have in common is the care and affection they have for you. They will fight anyone who thinks of causing you any kind of harm. After all, you are a member of the crew and they will take great care of you.

[no-time-machine-available]

Danny Phantom (Vivisection AU x King Phantom AU) + One Piece

I just like the idea of Danny joining the Strawhats and their adventures.

In this AU Danny won the right to the crown of the Infinity Realm after defeating Pariah, and for the start, he doesn’t want it. He is working with Clockwork and Frostbite to reach a compromise with the other big powers in the realm so Danny doesn’t need to inherit the crown. At this point, the big powers are divided between those who recognize and want Danny as the new king and those who want to be the new king.

At the same time on Earth, Danny is dealing with his parents and GIW new partnership and weapons. Along with the new Anti-Ecto Laws that declare him non-sentient. Bad press. Fighting and protecting ghost at the same time. Vlad being pain in the ass. Jazz leaving Amity Parks to college out of state (One of them needs to be able to fulfill their dreams). Past due homework assignments, feeling like an idiot, and the risk of not graduating High School with Sam and Tucker.

Then, his parents find out his secret, and the worst-case scenario happens. Soon enough he is tied to the operation table with his parents asking, what did you do to our son? He cries, begs, and screams that he is his son, but they refuse to believe him. Eventually, Maddie and Jack commit a mistake and he manages to escape. He flies through the Ghost Portal and eventually enters a natural portal that takes him to the One Piece universe.

He ends up joining the Strawhats after helping them in one of their adventures and realizing he truly has no idea of how to navigate this world. Danny has not a particular position in the crew but he is efficient enough in the fights. He enjoys not being in charge, he never liked the idea of being a leader.

The overall goal of Danny is to find a way back home, but over time he realizes he doesn’t want to go back. He still wants to see Sam, Tucker, Ellie, and Jazz but doesn’t want to return to how it was. He finally is free from ghost attacks, and the politics of the ghost zone. He knows he can’t be a normal teenager anymore but he can finally just be Danny. Not the Hero of Amity Park Not the Great One Not the Future King of the Infinity Realm Not a Monster who stole Danny’s body Just Danny

He loves the Strawhats and they love him back. His obsession with protection is being fulfilled by fighting alongside the crew and slowly this world is becoming his home.

Thanks to his healer factor his wounds are healed, but the scar of his “operations” seems to not fade. He cannot transform no matter how much he wants it and is limited to using his powers in his human phase, which makes him considerably weaker. This doesn’t bother him until the incident in Sabody.

After the Sabody, Danny starts training to get back his ghost form and become stronger to protect his friends. The thing is that by transforming other ghosts can finally locate him, and his past starts to get closer to him.

Ellie is the one who finds Danny after Wano and explains everything that has happened after his disappearance. The thing is that while things are going well for Danny, things are going bad for everyone else. When Jazz learned what her parents did she almost killed them. The GIW has free reign to hunt and experiment on ghosts since Phantom's disappearance. The Infinity Realm wants to declare war on humanity for the crime of killing the future king and other ghosts. Amity Park has been declared a contingency zone. Tucker, Sam, Ellie, and Jazz had been searching like crazy for Danny while running from the government.

Danny is perplexed and reluctantly accepts to follow Ellie back to confront all the disasters in his old home. Of course, the Strawhats follow them right behind starting a new adventure of multiversal dimensions.

[emp-t-man]

eiffel and minkowski are often perceived (either by the other characters of the podcast or its audience, but mostly by each other) as the lazy slacker who sucks at his job and the competent go-getter who’s the best at what she does, and yet neither of these things are true. i think one of my favorites of their parallels is they are both exceptionally good at what they do, and yet they both constantly suffer from doubts about their own abilities. they just have completely different ways of going about this insecurity, and that’s what creates this stigma about them.

eiffel has proven time and time again that he absolutely knows what he’s doing in his field. He’s extremely protective over his equipment, he knows exactly what to do when it doesn’t work ninety nine percent of the time, the man made two way radios from old audio recorders, for christ’s sake, not to mention the way he was able to figure out how to survive for months in the middle of deep space completely by himself. but one of his most fatal flaws is that he doesn’t believe he knows what he’s doing. his self hatred and insecurity run so deep that the moment he believes he’s not cut out for something, he stops trying entirely. he sees people like minkowski doing such a good job in their position, that when people like that tell him he’s incapable of doing the same, he believes it, because he never believed in himself, anyway. i think the most obvious example of this is after the season one finale, when he learns about the decima project. the minute he learns that being an officer of communications wasn’t his only purpose on that mission, he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t serve that purpose at all. he resolves that he was simply an “experimental meatbag”, chosen for the mission because he had absolutely nothing else going for him. he’s so quick to dismiss his worth and his capabilities, and so he leans into this persona of a good for nothing procrastinator to avoid letting his peers down by never letting them form expectations of him in the first place. of course, he isn’t perfect, he is a bit of a procrastinator and a scatterbrain, but that’s far from all he is.

minkowski on the other hand, she’s constantly praised for all of her achievements and hard work, be it by goddard, by her students, her superiors, lovelace, and especially eiffel in the later seasons. she’s seen as strong, and resilient, and an excellent leader. but the thing is, she also constantly doubts her own ability. this can also be seen during the season one finale, where she apologizes to eiffel because she describes hera’s deactivation and hilbert’s mutiny as her own fault, because she wasn’t a good enough commander to prevent it. but the thing about her is when she starts to doubt her capability, she works overtime to try and prove herself and anyone else who may doubt her wrong, which is also unhealthy! it happens with the plant monster, when she continuously risks her own life just to prove to herself that she can have the slightest bit of control over a situation. it happens during pan-pan, where she attempts to keep the stress fractures in the station a secret and handle them on her own because she wants to be able to protect the lives and morale of her crew the way a “good commander” should! instead of giving up and saving herself the disappointment if ever she should fail, she does the complete opposite, working herself to the bone and obsessing over every detail to make sure she doesn’t fail, no matter what it takes.

now here’s the kicker— after the events of desperate times / desperate measures, eiffel and minkowski completely swap coping mechanisms. when lovelace comes to, minkowski almost immediately asks her to assume the position of commander in her place, because she thinks that the loss of lives means that she completely failed her objective and isn’t fit for the role. her stepping down is essentially giving up in her eyes, because why hold such an important position if you’re no good at it? meanwhile, in episode fifty two, after eiffel gets called out on his, while without malicious intent, inconsiderate and distasteful behavior, he completely withdraws from the rest of the crew in order to work extremely hard on his own tasks, ultimately risking his and the rest of the crew’s life in order to prove he can be useful. sounds familiar, right?

but the thing is, they’ve each already spent so much time reverting to their original way of coping, that attempting the other’s method is immediately clocked as simply being concerning and out of character, rather than establishing them as the opposite archetype of being capable or not. lovelace expects minkowski to always resort to overachieving, but not because its a way to disprove her insecurity, but because it’s just “who she is”. so when she does the opposite, that’s when she realizes something is wrong, and resorts to comforting minkowski instead of simply letting her do what she’s elected to do. hera expects eiffel to laugh off any mistake he makes and go back to goofing off— not because it’s his way of avoiding disappointment from those he cares about, but because it’s just “who he is”. so when he does the opposite, focusing solely and intently on his duties where he was so comfortable neglecting them before, she realizes something is wrong. and when he explains to the rest of the crew that his actions are only to “help the only way he still can”, they realize something is wrong, and choose to comfort him rather than simply rolling their eyes and letting eiffel be eiffel.

it is. so incredibly late at night so i don’t know if this makes the sense i want it to make but i just. cannot get enough of how much they compliment and reflect each other. they seem to have nothing in common on the surface, but they fit together so well in terms of how they operate as people and i’m obsessed with it

[princess-charlie-of-hell]

As a Charlie morningstar lover, I love to think that everyone is at least a tiny bit in love with her. This obviously isn't supposed to be taken serious and is mostly crack

Let's start with the obvious ones: that Vaggie is in love with her is clear, she is had no problem of threatening Alastor, a powerful overlord, to protect her and even made a deal with him to make the commercial for the hotel to make Charlie happy

Talking about Alastor, he is obviously obsessed with her like in most scenes they are together, he always keeps her in eye and is touchy with Charlie. Him being a mommas boy only worsen that, deep inside he wants her to be proud of him and doesn't like sharing her attention, that is why he hated Lucifer because him visiting the hotel caused Charlie to pay attention to her father and not him

Staying by the hotel crew, Angel dust. He is not in love love with her because he is gay but do you know this feeling where you are not romantically in love with someone but still want them to do like/love you? Like he is totally platonically in love with her, her presence alone is enough to make him feel better and forget his pain from working for Valentino for a bit

The other guest, Sir pentious, also was blown away by Charlie. The princess was the first one who took him serious in hell and didn't made fun of him. She believes that he is able to change to become a better person. He fast developed a crush on her, he tries to make her proud of him by giving extra effort by her group projects and makes invention which he hopes helps people

The barkeeper of the hotel is also isn't able to resist Charlie's charm. Husk at the beginning started to spend more time with the princess because he noticed that Alastor is more friendly towards him when she is near. This caused him automatically to be more relax when he is in her presence also because Charlie had Keekee she has the habit of accidentally petting and cuddling Husk when she doesn't pay close attention to her surroundings, Husk never would admit it but he enjoys when it happens. It is also a purely coincidence that he starts purring when it happens and the radio demon is near

The maid of the hotel is more open to her affection towards Charlie. She enjoys whenever Charlie snaps and goes complete demons, she usually is more interested in bad boys but the princess of hell is the exception. Nifty gives Charlie sometimes bugs as presents and workes extra hard when she is near to show the princess what a great housewife she is.

That was the first part maybe i am going to make a second and or third part depends on my motivation. Just out curiosity, what are some of your favorite Charlie ships?

[captainsvscaptains]

Round 1 Part 8 Poll 2

Propaganda

Spoilers ahead

Crow is what's called a "spore eater", which protects her from physical harm but also causes severe dehydration. Like most spore eaters, she feels the tradeoff is not worth it, so she manipulates her crew into piracy so they'll be desperate enough to venture into the dangerous seas where the dragon Xisisrefliel lives, as Xisis is reputed to be able to "cure" spore eaters. (It turns out that the cure requires ongoing maintenance from the dragon in order to be ongoingly effective, so her plan was flawed to begin with.)

It's Lucky Jack! On his very first command, took a frigate with a sloop, and filled up Port Mahón with prizes. He's a disaster on land, kind of shit with money, but he is brilliant at sea, ingenious and strategically minded. He loves his wife, Sophie, and his bestie, Stephen Maturin, and he gets up to all sorts of hijinks with the latter. He rescued Stephen from being tortured by the French, actually, and Stephen frequently uses his own connections to try and work to Jack's advantage. He's obsessed with gunnery, and his crew generally love him because he's disciplined but not a hard-horse, plus he's lucky and brings them lots of prizes and prize money. He's a jock, but later in life he starts to love math for its own sake, as well as becoming an astronomer of no mean ability; he's presented papers on math and astronomy to the Royal Society. He's a great musician, a violinist, and his duets with Stephen (a cellist) are so incredibly touching to read about. His music is just... beautiful. Stephen's hands were wrecked by torture, and later on we find out that Jack's been downplaying his own ability to match Stephen's level, because he'd rather play average with Stephen than perfectly alone.

There's so much more I could say but tldr he's the best I love him.

[angymonzon]

Barbossa/Smyth Headcanons

As I’m not the biggest fan of the 5th Pirates movie canon and vibes, so some things will stray.

Hector Barbossa

He’s of Spanish and Irish/English descent making him a mixed/person of color in terms of the 1700s (mans is still very much white lol).

Hector is a common Spanish name and “Barbosa” is a Portuguese/Spanish surname, but I believe he was given his last name as more of a title.

His dad would’ve been Spaniard and his mom Irish/English.

He named Carina, which is also a popular Spanish name, aside from being the constellation. Which overall is just cute cause it’s in reference to the keel of a ship.

(Also as a Colombian, I’m biased and lenient to making him even slightly hispanic coded lmao)

He was raised by his mom, and his father either left them or was part of the Spanish Inquisition. I don’t know but he wasn’t there.

Hector is well read and is a fan of Shakespeare.

Margaret Smyth

My idea of Smyth is inspired by @discordsmuse’s Smyth in All That Glitters and Liar’s Bet.

She’s of English descent and her face claim is Olivia Hussey, specifically in how she looked in IT (1990) cause I like the age gap.

She was a pirate that dressed as a man to protect her identity.

Hector fell in love with her and because of her presence on his crew he was more open to the idea of female pirates and women aboard the ship.

(Basically why he was so chill about Elizabeth and why he was open to mentoring her in the ways of piracy)

The red dress Elizabeth wears in The Curse of The Black Pearl was Margaret’s dress, we all know this lol.

She got pregnant with Carina before the curse was a thing and therefore she wasn’t aboard on the Pearl, instead she was aboard the Cobra.

Both Margaret and Hector decided that cutting ties would be the best for the future of their child.

Margaret raised Carina on her own until she unfortunately passed away from breast cancer when Carina was only 10.

Hector was able to see Margaret one last time, where he gave her his journal to gift Carina on her 18th birthday. He was unaware of Margaret’s death and the whereabouts of his daughter.

Carina Barbossa-Smyth

She is still obsessed with the stars and constellations.

She learned to read the maps left in Hector's personal journal which is why she has an understanding of how to navigate.

She was infatuated with the pirate tales her mother would tell her and she dreamed of the escapism behind piracy.

Carina believed her father to be dead and believes the journal was left in her mother’s possession as a parting gift.

Her mother taught her to be self assured but also knew to not show it off as there were unspoken societal rules.

Margaret taught Carina to read and made sure she knew to be secretive about it.

Unfortunately, Carina was caught reading her father’s journal one night at the orphanage she was placed in when her mother passed.

Those are all my ideas for now! Maybe I’ll expand upon things one day or maybe I won’t!

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Nami Headcanons: Chart of Her Obsessive Love (One Piece)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with a new chapter this one is going to be with Nami from One Piece! Anyways, I hope that you all enjoy this chapter here, my muffins!] 

(Discalimer: Nami is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!) 

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Nami From One Piece- 

.At the Start Nami Despised all pirates, believing that they were all scum and terrible. 

.Her views changed slightly when she met Loofy, and you. 

.You were a person that she fell for hard and she wanted to put her trust in you. 

.She of course, at first had her guard up. 

.She did not want to let you in! At least at first, as you could have been hurt by Arlong, and then later she did not think she was good enough for you. 

.It will take her some time to realize that she is worthy of you and that she will do whatever it takes to have you! 

.Of course before that she still did not want to share you, she wanted you to still not be with anyone else as she loves you and wanted you to love her. 

.She has a love for money and that has translated into how she deals with money when it comes to being with you, the love of her life. 

.She wants to have a nest egg so she can one day take care of you, and have plenty of savings so she can have a life with you when she is no longer a pirate. 

.That way you will want for nothing, she can give you the life you deserve, and she can always take care of you. 

.She is a very smart woman and she was able to make a plan and deal with Arlong when she was just a kid. 

.So she would be able to have plans with how to win you over and how to keep all her rivals away from you. 

.She is also very crafty and sneaky yandere. 

.Her years as a thief has made her a stealthy yandere and able to think on her feet. 

.She is the type of yandere that does not go in head first. 

.She thinks ahead and is more cautious with how she deals with rivals. 

.She also is cautious even more so when your and hers bounties go up. 

.Because she knows that the higher both of your bounties go up the more at risk you two are. 

.The risk of you or her being caught by pirates, pirate hunters, the Marines, or anyone else really. 

.She is protective of you and would put her life on the line to keep you safe. 

.She also would do everything in her power to make sure that you are protected. 

.She would at first try and get you to stay on an island where it is safer. 

.At the same time she does not want to leave you on an island, so in the end you and her being on the same crew is the best bet. 

.She loves sunbathing with you and loves to check out your body when you are in your swimwear. 

.Finding to be sunbathing with you and checking you out to be one of her favorite things. 

.Although with her love for money, she also turned into a bit of a greedy yandere. 

.In which you are her biggest treasure and she does not want to share you with anyone else. 

.You are hers, and hers alone and she is not going to let anyone else have you, she is a bit of a greedy yandere and a tad bit of a possessive yandere as well! 

.She is not a brave yandere in fact she can be a bit of a coward. 

.She is more so an underhanded and sneaky yandere who is crafty and uses underhanded tactics to deal with her rivals. 

.She is not the type of yandere to kill her rivals. 

.More so she will make a long plan to most likely get her rival arrested and also cash in their bounty if they have one! (If she can that is~)  

.She would not cry easily, she is very compassionate and can understand a lot of the things you are going through and how she would support you. 

.Being very supportive of you and how she would for sure cry if you were hurt and or almost killed. 

.If someone was to try and hurt you or they did, she would beg Luffy for help. 

.As you are the most important person to her, but she does know that she is not strong enough to keep you safe or get revenge. 

.She would want to have children with you one day, to have a family with you in one way or another, may It be bio kids, adopted kids, or fur and/or scaley babies. 

.She just wants a life with you and kids may they be pets or not. 

.She would confess to you as romantically as she could. 

.Confessing to you how much she loves you and wants to keep you safe and sound. 

.If you accepted her love she would be over the moon and so happy, feeling like everything is working out. 

.Of course, if you did not accept her love, and instead turned her feelings down. She would be genuinely shocked. 

.She had thought that everything would work out perfectly! She did not know where she had gone for long! 

.Why did you not love her? She thought she and you were both having feelings for each other. 

.So why did you not feel the same for her, as she did for you? It drives her insane. 

.She would act like everything was fine, but really it is driving her crazy. 

.Why was she not enough for you? Why was she, not the person you wanted in her life? 

.She would do her best to figure out the reason why you did not love her. 

.If it was because you loved someone else, she would find a way to get them out of the picture and or make you lose your feelings for them. 

.If it was because you had not developed feelings for her yet, then she would do what it takes to make you love her. 

.She is a persistent and determined yandere. She will never give up on her love for you. 

.And if she did have to kill a rival she would probably poison them.  

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Another chapter is done! I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter here, and please stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[angelynmoon]

More Eldritch Steve, (I really do need to name this Au) because I couldn't leave you hanging like that.

Thank you for all your guesses.

Part 7

-

Wayne knows that Steve is Other the moment he sees him, he's always had a sense for these things, ever since he was young.

He knew, long before Eddie's father stole his first candy bar, that the man was a bad egg, knew that he'd end up dead or in jail, the man was lucky that he got caught by the police before Wayne could get at him for what he'd done to Eddien he was lucky he was safe in jail and Wayne made sure the man knew it.

But Wayne doesn't say anything, never has, no one but the old bloods would believe him, if he had cared to, the Harrington name carried too much weight, not that it mattered, Emilia Harrington would protect her son until the day she died, Steve had chosen his family wisely.

But Wayne knew, and he could see Steve look at him and know that Wayne knew what he was.

Wayne saw his considering look, the way he nodded like it explained so much, and perhaps it did, at least for Steve.

But Steve said nothing, shook Wayne's hand with a small, close mouthed smile, nonthreatening, almost welcoming even.

And Wayne couldn't help smiling back, wide mouthed and threatening because he didn't care what Steve had done to protect Eddie, he was still the boy's father, more than his blood one had ever been, and he had to make sure Steve understood that.

Steve merely tilted his head in a nod and looked at the teenaged children playing that game Eddie was so fond on in the center of Steve's living room.

"We're the last." Steve told Wayne, softly, "I killed the rest for killing my spawn, I understand."

Wayne looked at Steve, really looked at him and saw what he'd been before Wayne had left the Down Below so long ago.

Small, unassuming creature, the one that liked demobats and demogorgans, easy meal, the thought ran through Wayne's mind, as it had so many times before.

But all things had a breaking point, all things had that one thing they would destroy worlds for.

Wayne nodded as Steve looked at Eddie with something akin to love in his eyes, it wasn't the same as a human's love, no theirs was deeper, more possessive, thier love was dangerous in ways only a human psycopath's love was, obsessive and eternal.

Eddie would never be permitted to have another, and Steve would never let him leave him, their kind may not need another to spawn but when they paired it was for life.

Oh, Wayne was going to have to have a talk with Eddie, one he had hoped never to have.

Eddie may not be Wayne's blood but Wayne had raised him, it made sense that Eddie would attract Steve.

Like calls to like afterall.

-

A/n; i need you all to know that i did not even consider Argyle because in my head they met when Jonathan and the rest of the Cali Crew arrived, but i can see it.

The other one was always Wayne to me, and part of me is pleased that he wasn't anyone's guess because yeah.

Also that throwaway comment he made about nothing human being able to do that to Chrissy made me think that maybe he knows things, thus Eldritch Wayne, I'm not tagging it so people can be shocked.

@addelyin @merricatty @lesbiabrobin @apuckishwit @0o-mushroom-o0 @starlight-archer @darkwitchoferie @just-a-tiny-void @swimmingbirdrunningrock @intergalactic-president-awesome @vampireinthesun @goodolefashionedloverboi @adhdsummer @purpleanimeoverart @space-invading-pigeon @lilaclilyroses @nohomoyesbi @plantzzsandpencilzzs @korixae @subversivecynic @flusteredcas @persnicketysquares @freddykicksasses @little-trash-ghost @cupcakesnwhiskey @cats-ate-all-of-my-pasta

[hereticpriest]

Sriracha

Relationship: Dirk Brûlée x Reader

Warnings: Loss of parents, single mom reader raising her younger brother, rough sex, sex toys, sybian, vaginal fingering, oral sex, barely-there handjob, bad flirting, bad puns.

Once upon a time, if someone told you you would be going to a taping of Everything At Once, you would have laughed at them. A variety-talk show hybrid aimed at children wasn't something you ever thought you would be interested in. Once upon a time, you had your whole life together and spread out in front of you, ripe for the taking. You were enrolled in university, living in a decent apartment, with a stable boyfriend and a steady side job to support you. You spoke with your parents every few days, and had just attended your mother's wedding to your stepfather, with whom you had a decent relationship. She had you as a teenager, and the split with your father broke her heart, but your stepfather was a nice guy who brought some stability to her life. She gave birth to your new little brother shortly into your first year at university, and you loved to visit him whenever you could.

Now, you were a single mother to your younger brother, struggling to balance your responsibilities as a mother, father and sister with duties at work. Thankfully, you had a decent job as a PA for an art gallery owner who was also letting you intern with his art curator whenever you finished your work. Having an educated PA was a bonus that he wasn't about to let go of, and he paid well because you were loyal, and reliable, and probably at least a little bit because he pitied you. But you weren't above pity money - you needed it to take care of your little monster.

Your boss was also the only reason you managed to get these tickets and secure your place as 'best mom ever'. Being called mom wasn’t what you expected from the birth of your little brother, however, your parents passed away in a tragic accident when your brother was only four, and he barely remembered them. You were Mom more than you were his sister, and you’d learned to accept that over the last three years. Sean was a rambunctious seven year old, and like many kids his age, he was absolutely obsessed with Everything At Once. Your boss had connections with some of the crew of the show, and he was able to secure you tickets as a birthday gift.

"Not a good birthday gift for you, I suppose, but I know Sean is your world so hopefully it will suit." He’d said as he handed the tickets to you.

He knew you so well.

Which led you here, standing in the back of the studio with the other parents while Sean was led up into the audience by a friendly-looking young PA. Your baby was vibrating out of his light-up sneakers, and you couldn't stop smiling, happy to see him so excited. He'd insisted on dressing up like his idol, so he was wearing his most colourful clothes - a highlighter pink shirt and lavender pants, paired with his trusty light-up shoes. He had his Dirk Brûlée shirt stuffed into your purse so that he could see if he could get it signed after the taping, and a rather stunning photograph of the talk show host that you’d printed on expensive photo paper protected within a manila envelope. You had to promise to frame it in order for Sean to let you hold onto it during the taping.

Unlike your brother, you chose to wear a baby blue midi sundress with corset boning in the bodice, puffy sleeves, a tulle skirt, and a lovely neckline that enhanced your chest. It’s all very appropriate despite the attractive bodice, and paired with cute wedge sandals, it gives you a youthful and charming look. Despite not being on TV, you put on makeup and styled your hair to make sure you would look good since you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of anyone. You wanted to dress your age, while still looking like an adult, and you never got to wear this kind of clothing at work since they had a strict business casual-adjacent dress code at the gallery. This dress would never fly without a blazer, and a blazer would be uncomfortable with the sleeves.

"God, she's young isn't she?"

"Gotta be a teen mom. She looks like she's barely out of high school. If she even graduated.”

You frown. You'd think by now you would be used to how catty other parents could be, but somehow, you still let it get to you. The judgement. As if they knew anything about you. A deep, centering breath brings you back to the present - Sean is happy, and their words don't matter. Instead, you focus on your sweet little brother, the most important (and only) man in your life. The hype guy is riling up the kids, bouncing around with an excitement you wish you could muster but have been struggling to manage with the extra hours you've been taking on. By the time you go to bed every night, you’re exhausted, passing out in bed the minute your head hits the pillow.

Thank god for your friends, all of whom act as amazing aunts and uncles for Sean. Your oldest friend, Nadia, has a son only a year younger than Sean, and they're thicker than thieves so they hang out often. Nadia picks the boys up from school every night, and watches Sean until you get home from work just after 5. After work, you make dinner nearly every night, then take a shower while Sean finishes his homework that he started at Nadia’s. Together, you watch the newest episode of Everything At Once on the PVR since Nadia doesn’t believe in letting the kiddos watch TV, and it’s a nice little hour of cuddle time that forces you to relax on the couch. Once that’s done, you both clean up - Sean cleans the living room and his bedroom while you clean the kitchen and whatever else needs to be tidied. Cleaning up throughout the week gives you the chance to spend weekends with Sean, with only very rare Saturday evenings reserved for gallery events.

You’ve committed to driving him to school every day on your way to work, and you’ve never missed a day except when you’re sick as a dog. You give Sean every moment of your time that you can, leaving very little for yourself, and you’re starting to feel the burn out. You haven’t had a real break since the death of your parents, and at this point, you couldn’t afford one any time soon either. Your friends would take Sean if you needed them to, but you feel guilty not spending time with him when you have it. Perhaps sometime soon, it wouldn’t feel like a failure to take more than a night or two to yourself. Even tonight, you have your friend Garrett and his wife Kimmie picking Sean up from the studio to go to their house for the weekend for their son’s birthday celebration, giving you a weekend to yourself for the first time in ages, and you feel guilty.

A PA informs the parents that Dirk is about to come out, and you snap out of the deep well of your thoughts, brightening up at the sight of Sean’s excited little foot taps. The theme music kicks in, and Dirk Brûlée swings out through the glitzy, colourful streamers to the raucous applause of the kids. You smile fondly as he passes out high-fives and fist bumps, and you can see the brilliant smile that spreads across Sean’s face as he gets one of his own. Your heart melts, and everything you’ve ever missed out on for him is worth it just to see him this happy.

Dirk greets a couple more kids, then ruffles Sean’s hair as he passes him towards his chair, and the show begins. The first guests are always there for an experimental, goofy skit-like interview - today being the stars of a popular children’s show that you vaguely recognize as something Sean watched when he was younger. The interview plays into the stars’ characters, with humorous nods towards the adults in the crowd with vague jokes that would go over a child’s head. This is followed by Dirk’s typical dance break, in which he introduces the musical guest, then hypes the kids up and dances with them to the musical guest’s set. You laugh as Sean gets his turn, and spins Dirk the way he normally would spin you when you two dance together, and you can’t help but feel some warm bubblies towards Dirk for the way he goes along with it seamlessly. It’s sweet that he seems to genuinely enjoy the children - there’s a sparkle in his eye that you recognize as sincerity. It’s such a rare thing to see, and despite hearing rumours that Dirk is a giant diva, you decide that you like him just for the way he interacts with the kids.

Once the dance break is over, Dirk welcomes the musical guest on stage for an interview, and you’re impressed that he was able to get a popular up-and-coming boyband. His accent is softer after years spent away from his home country, but you can hear it in his ‘r’s and the way he pronounces words with ‘th’ sounds. You don’t know much about Dirk, but you know his mother is a famous French actress and his father was a Hollywood director. Maybe growing up in the industry is what made him such a natural interviewer. The conversation flows easily, with Dirk asking surprisingly poignant questions for a show with a primarily child audience. He strikes an easy balance between fun and serious, keeping the kids engaged while also managing to keep his guests entertained as well. After the musical guest, the last guest is introduced with a scene from an upcoming kids’ movie, and you smile as Dirk begins a rambunctious interview with an actor you think you know, but can’t quite place from where. The show ends with another little dance party, after which Dirk promises to meet all the kids and answer questions after a quick break.

Sean nearly knocks you off your feet when he runs to you, and you lift him up into your arms as you watch Dirk walk backstage over his shoulder. The moms who were talking shit earlier greet their kids - a blond little girl with a very cute bow and seemingly endless pout, and a dark-haired boy who looks like he fell out of a bland ‘aesthetic’ home magazine photo. The poor kid looks uncomfortable in his khakis and polo shirt - Sean would scream if you tried to put him in an outfit like that. The judgemental stares don’t bother you too much now that you’ve got Sean to distract you. So long as he doesn’t notice, you couldn’t care less what they think of you. You pause to chat with a couple while Sean shows their daughter his robot book (which he refuses to leave home without), then spend the last couple minutes of the break fending off a (hopefully?) single dad who doesn’t seem to understand that you’re not interested. Finally, Dirk emerges from the back area looking refreshed, and an assistant corrals the kids and their parents into a line for the meet and greet. You end up at the back of the line due to Sean having one of his shoes untied which you make him fix, but you remind the pouting kiddo that Dirk promised he would meet every kid, so it doesn’t matter where in the line he is.

Sean has never been quite good at being patient, but he dutifully tries his best, clinging to your hand while you wait. You smile as one of the dads seems to flirt with Dirk, indiscreetly giving him his phone number, his daughter oblivious as she clings to her father’s pant leg. Dirk handles it pretty smoothly, waiting until the man is out of view before giving the phone number to a PA to get rid of it. Another PA leads those who’ve finished their meet-and-greet towards the door to leave, and you watch absently as the room slowly empties as you get closer to the end of the line.

Sean rocks on his heels as you get closer to the end of the line, and you feel a little bad for Dirk as one of the moms from earlier tries to flirt with him while he does his best to distance himself while still being kind about it. It reminds you of all the men who flirt with you at the gallery, as if your job requiring you to be nice to them means that you’ll somehow be more inclined to let them take you out. You wonder for a moment how often this happens to him, and if he ever takes anyone up on it. He’s a handsome man - you don’t blame anyone for being interested in him. Even his obnoxious moustache doesn’t take away from his gorgeous face. He’s probably nearly double your age, but you wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers, as they say. Not that you needed the complication of a relationship on top of your seemingly endless pile of responsibilities.

Dirk’s in it for the kids, you realise as you watch him interact with them. He’s polite enough to the adults, but he lights up when he speaks with the children, genuinely interested in what they have to say. It isn’t in a creepy way either - it reminds you more of that feeling of meeting someone who you instantly connect and have something in common with. You wonder if perhaps the honesty of children resonates with him like it does for you. They hold nothing back, and when you treat them with respect and listen to what they have to say, they really blossom into something special. You can’t believe the amount of personality Sean has, and he’s only seven.

The line dwindles, and you begin to worry as you notice how long it’s taking. Perhaps, by the time it gets to Sean, Dirk might be tired of meet-and-greets and might rush things. Maybe you should’ve let him tie his shoes in line? You end up panicking for nothing - as the family before you departs, Dirk offers Sean a wide smile that makes his eyes crinkle charmingly.

“Hey! Nice to meet you. What’s your name?” Dirk asks, and Sean introduces himself eagerly.

“I’m Sean, and this is my mom- uh, sister. You can call her Mom - I do.” He informs Dirk with a blinding grin. Your cheeks get hot, and you pet Sean’s hair back out of his face.

“Hi, nice to meet you.” You murmur, giving him your name and letting him know that he very much does not need to call you Mom. You direct it at Sean just as much as Dirk, and the older man grins, taking your offered hand to kiss your knuckles instead of shake it. You swear his gaze runs quickly up and down your body, but the second you notice it, he looks away. He immediately directs his attention back to Sean, and you listen happily as your brother yaks the poor man’s ear off, telling him all about his robot book, how he picked his outfit especially to look like Dirk, and how he watched the show every day with you. The talk show host compliments his outfit and light-up sneakers, flipping through his book and commenting on a couple things, and you can see the way Sean thrives under the attention of the older man. Part of you laments the fact that you can’t give that same energy to him that he clearly craves.

Dirk offers to sign autographs and take photos, and you take several pictures of the two together before Dirk asks his PA to take a photo of the three of you. “Since you’re a fan too.” he claims, winking at you over Sean’s head as you approach. Your cheeks burn as he slides an arm around your waist even though it remains entirely appropriate. As you step away from him, you can still feel his heat against your side, and you wonder how he isn’t sweating his ass off in that leather jacket. Sean hands over his photo and shirt for Dirk to sign, which he does with a wide smile, his signature big and dramatic for the kids, and in a cherry red marker. You’re impressed with how quick he is while still keeping it legible.

“Vic, can you take Sean here to the prize room? Let him pick something special out, since he’s my last kiddo of the day.” Dirk instructs his PA, who seems surprised but happy enough to comply. Sean practically bounces out of his shoes as he grabs the young PA’s hand and follows her out of the room.

“Thank you for that. He… he really looks up to you.” You say as you’re left alone with the talk show host since security waits outside the room for the kids’ comfort. You don’t feel nervous being alone with him, even though normally you don’t particularly enjoy being alone with men.

“He looked like he needed it. So do you.” Dirk replies simply, shrugging and offering you a wry smile, “He’s a good kid.”

“He is. I never expected him, but he’s my entire world.”

“Unplanned pregnancy?” Dirk asks, but you can see from the look on his face that he’s only asking to coax the truth out of you - he doesn’t think Sean is yours. He didn’t miss the slip in your introduction. From the expression on his face, he’s not even trying to be subtle about it really.

“No, no, he’s my little half-brother. Our mom and his dad passed away in an accident when he was four. I was just out of uni, so I got custody of him. He doesn’t really remember them, so he calls me mom.” You reply, giving him the truth since he obviously wanted it, and not feeling guilty for putting that stricken look of sympathy on his face.

“I’m sorry.” Dirk murmurs earnestly, and you shrug your shoulders, managing a gentle smile.

“It’s okay. We’re doing okay. But this - today - really helps. He adores you. You give him a lot of confidence in his self-expression, and… I mean, I’m not naive, I know people talk about us. I know he knows, and I know he hears it sometimes. But you give him the confidence to brush it off most of the time, you know? I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Dirk takes a breath, shocked and touched, and you nearly jump out of your skin as he puts a hand on your arm.

“I think you’re discounting your own role in that.” He says gently, “it must be hard, becoming a mom right out of university. You’re only, what, 25 or 26?”

“Twenty-five.” You agree, and he nods. You watch his gaze trail over you again quickly, and you raise an eyebrow. He doesn’t seem as uncomfortable as he did with the other parents, though you’ve no idea why. You have no idea why he’s still talking to you. You expected him to maybe say hi and then go off to his dressing room or trailer. He was here for the kids, not the parents. He wasn’t here for you.

“Hey, gimme your phone for a sec.” Dirk instructs without room for negotiation, and you do it without thinking. He holds it up to you for Face ID to unlock it, then taps away while you try to scoot closer and peer at it.

“What are you doing?”

“Sending myself the photos we took today.” Dirk replies airily, smiling in a way that almost looks like he’s posing, then going back to typing.

“Oh… I can delete your number afterwards, don’t worry.” You reassure him.

“I’m not worried. Text me. I’d like to see you again.”

That makes you freeze, and you tilt your head, surprised.

“Sean, you mean?”

“No, you. It’s unfortunate that you’ve got the kid right now. I would’ve loved to make you my weekend plans.” Dirk muses with a hint of a pout, shameless as can be, while you stare at him in shock. He raises an eyebrow at your expression, a smug smile spreading across his lips as you do your best to catch up. Do you want to sleep with Dirk Brûlée? That’s what he’s asking for, right? He wants to fuck you, and he gave you his number (and took yours in return) to get a chance at something in the future. Are you really going to sleep with a talk show host who is likely nearly double your age and has a reputation as a diva? Then again, he doesn’t have a reputation for fucking around - not since he went to rehab some five or so years ago after a string of ill-advised flings and bad publicity.

“Sean is getting picked up from the studio to go to his friend’s house for their birthday sleepover.” You reply in a rush of breath, then blink in astonishment as if you hadn’t realised what you were saying. Dirk steps closer to you, skimming his hand up over your arm, his eyes darkening as he cups your cheek with his other hand.

“Come over to my place tonight. Stay the night. I’ll make you breakfast.” he demands, tipping your head back a little, his thumb stroking over your lips and down your throat. You choke on your own spit, eyes wide with shock at the way he’s touching you.

“I don’t have any clothes with me except what I’m wearing.”

“I’ll loan you something, pretty girl. How long has it been since you’ve had a break?” Dirk asks, and that makes you pause. He’s a high profile - it’s not like he’s going to kill you, probably. People saw you here, and you’ve got your location shared with Nadia at all times just in case. And honestly, you’ve got pretty good danger sense by now and you don’t get any bad vibes from the talk show host currently rubbing your hands in a tease of a massage, his thumbs skillfully digging into the meat of your palm in a way that makes you shiver. There’s a sincerity in his eyes. A desire that makes you think he might need this nearly as badly as you do.

“I drove here.” You inform him, and he hums, unworried.

“I assumed. Drive to my place. There’s plenty of room to park, and you’ll have the freedom to leave whenever you want. Have you eaten anything today? I can make dinner.” Dirk ends his stream of consciousness with an almost shy smile, and you feel your cheeks get hot at the intensity of his stare.

“Okay.” You finally reply, hesitantly lifting your hands to cup his cheeks, a twinge of heat licking up your spine when he leans into it, “Kiss me first.”

Surprisingly strong hands pull you in close, and you let yourself be drawn in, sliding your hands back in his hair and down over his shoulders as he leans in to press his lips against yours. He does not lure you into it - he doesn’t start sweet and gentle, or chaste and dry. Instead, he devours you, biting your lip and using your gasp to lick his way into your mouth. You thought his moustache would be ticklish, or at least feel unpleasant, but it doesn’t. He clearly grooms it well, and it isn’t scratchy against your skin. He moans into the kiss, adjusting to nip at you gently, sucking your lower lip into his mouth to scrape his teeth across it before kissing you properly again.

You hear footsteps approaching, gentle clicks of heels that make you gasp and pull away from Dirk with wide eyes. He grins as you hurry to wipe away the remnants of your lipstick from his face, then fix his hair to look less like you’ve been combing your fingers through it while he kisses you good enough to forget your own name. He rubs away a spot of smeared lipstick from your chin, then steps away a comfortable distance to flick through his phone as the PA from earlier, Vic, opens the door with Sean at her side blabbering away. He beams at the sight of you, holding a poster and a copy of the children’s book that Dirk wrote earlier this year. The man in question dutifully signs both for Sean, ruffling his hair while you try to collect yourself and thank Vic for taking care of your little monster.

Your phone buzzes, and you let out a soft sigh of relief, “Garrett and Kimmie are here, buddy, c’mon.”

Sean cheers, then shyly asks Dirk for a hug before he goes. You can’t help but melt a little as Dirk gives Sean a squeeze, then tells him to be good at the party. He catches your eyes, winking, then pats Sean on the shoulder as he says goodbye and departs for his dressing room. Vic leads you both out of the building, and you ask Sean if he wants to keep his merch to show his friend, or for you to take it home. The mental debate takes a while, but eventually, he gives it all to you to put in your car, just in case.

“You promised to frame stuff.” He reminds you, and you laugh.

“I did. I’ll get it done soon, I promise.”

Garrett and Kimmie meet you out front, and you help Sean into the car, putting his backpack at his feet so you can give him a couple of kisses and hugs. CJ, the birthday boy, complains until you walk around the car precariously close to the busy street to give him a hug as well, and then they’re off, leaving you alone. Once upon a time, you were very used to being alone, but now? Now, it felt empty. Maybe it was a good thing you’ve been picked up by the wild tv show host. You’re sure you’d go mad on your own all weekend.

You head to your car in the small parking area for audience members, putting Sean’s things into the back seat. As you settle into the driver’s seat and examine yourself in the mirror, you realise that your lipstick is basically gone, and you hope Sean was too excited about the day to notice. Your phone buzzes, and you find Dirk’s face looking back at you in his contact photo.

Address attached. Txt me when u get here n I’ll open the gate.

A pause, and then another message comes through.

The pool n hot tub r nice today. I’ll give u sumthin to swim in. If u want? Can u swim? R u allergic 2 anything? Do u like Thai food?

Well, he texts pretty much exactly how you figured he would. Somehow, it isn’t the turn off you thought it might be.

I can swim. It might be nice since it’s hot out today. Maybe I should go home first and get clothes? Are you even going to be there if I leave right away? I don’t have any allergies, and I like pretty much everything.

Already omw home. Driver. Up to u but I wanna see u in my clothes.

Okay, see you soon.

The drive to Dirk’s house isn’t too terrible, even with a bit of traffic. You start to get excited on the drive, as nervous as you are, to finally relax a little and do something for yourself. It’s been a long time since you’ve had the chance to let loose. You haven’t been on a date since your parents passed away, and you’ve only had a single one night stand since then. The most romantic relationship you’ve had has been with your vibrator. Based on the kisses he gave you earlier, you’re fairly sure Dirk will be able to give you a good night. If he doesn’t, at least you’ll get to lounge in his hot tub, sleep in what you imagine is a lavish bed, and maybe he’ll even feed you. Worst case scenario, you’re plenty good at getting yourself off.

Dirk Brûlée’s house is stunning. You’re not necessarily surprised - his vibrant aesthetic wasn’t necessarily what was popular these days, but it was something you saw often in the art community, and it worked for him. The house is an off-white brick with flowers and vines painted across it. The door is a large, old wooden thing that reminds you of a castle, as do the stained glass windows. The path up to the door is made of painted stones, and vibrant flowers line the flowerbeds along the sides of the path and the side of the house. You can’t wait to see the inside.

Your house is beautiful. I’m outside.

You pop a stick of gum into your mouth just to make sure your breath is fresh despite the fact that you’ve already made out with Dirk less than an hour ago. You grin when the gate begins to open, and you pull into the driveway to park. Your phone buzzes, and you glance at it as you turn your car off, your cheeks getting hot as you see the message.

Can’t wait 2 c u. I wanna take care of u n make u feel good, mon chou.

As you’re getting out of the car, you hear the front door open and nearly trip over your own feet when you see Dirk. He’s changed since he got home. He’s replaced his vibrant outfit with a pair of jeans that look painted on and a colourful apron with ‘Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Mike Echo’ on the front. You snicker despite how cheesy it is, though you’re distracted when you realise he isn’t wearing a shirt underneath. As soon as you’re close enough, he pulls you into a kiss that has you clinging to the straps of his apron and trying to tuck your gum into your cheek. He leads you inside despite your distracted state, relieving you of your purse and setting it on the table in the front entrance. Your arms slip around his neck, trusting him to hold your weight while you carefully toe off your heels and tuck them out of the way. You only break the kiss when you smell what he’s cooking, and he mouths along your jaw and neck as you breathe in.

“God, what is that?”

“Mm, I’m making Thai lettuce wraps and fish tacos. Shouldn’t be long before it’s done.” He replies against your throat, the depth of his voice vibrating through you.

“God, that sounds delicious.” You murmur, tangling your fingers in his hair and hissing as Dirk sinks his teeth into the meat of your breast, “Ow! If you’re that hungry, I have something else you can eat, baby.”

Dirk laughs at your cheesy come-on and playfully sultry tone, nipping your chin, then kissing you properly while he backs you through the house towards the kitchen. You’d love to get a good view of Dirk's gorgeous home, but you’re far too distracted by the way this stupidly hot older man is licking his way into your pliant mouth while his hands smooth down your back to grab handfuls of your ass. When you part for breath, Dirk grins as he starts to chew, and that's when you realise that he stole your gum. With any other guy, it would probably be not just weird, but gross. You know it’s gross. And yet, something about it makes your cunt throb, and you tug on his hair as punishment for his thievery.

“Sugar, if you wanted gum, you could’ve asked.” You croon at him, and he laughs then blows a bubble. You bite it to pop it, taking the gum from him and dropping it in the garbage can at the end of the island in Dirk’s stupidly pretty kitchen. You finally get a good look at the interior of the house, and you’re not surprised to find it colourful, but you’re impressed by how cohesive it is. The blend of complementary colours in the open concept kitchen, dining room and living room make each room’s most impressive features pop. In the kitchen, vintage appliances in mint green and hand-painted tiles. In the living room, a mismatch of comfortable furniture including a royal purple chaise lounge and a phthalo green cabriole sofa. Last but certainly not least, in the dining room, a china cabinet full of what looks like uranium glass pieces that you definitely want to get a closer look at.

“Ma déesse.” Dirk murmurs against your ear, and you hum inquisitively, not understanding him but recognizing at least that ‘ma’ is a possessive and that means he’s probably talking to or about you. He nibbles at your ear, then finally breaks away from you, “Je dois finir de cuisiner.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying, honey, but you can keep talking all you like.” You reply simply, drawing another chuckle from Dirk as he finally gets back to cooking. You leave him to it, venturing into the dining room to peer at his uranium glass collection. It’s all well-maintained and unscratched, so you think it’s probably safe to be around, especially behind the thick glass of the china cabinet. It truly doesn’t take much longer for dinner to be ready, and you hum with excitement when Dirk calls for you, practically prancing up behind him and putting your arms around his waist. He sighs blissfully as you nuzzle your cheek against his back, stopping in place to enjoy the feeling, and you feel a twinge in your heart as you realise that despite being a tv show host and a relatively high profile person, he doesn’t have a lot of contact that he wants. You think back to today when that one mom kept touching his arm, and how you’d sympathised with him due to your own experiences with being harassed by overeager buyers at the gallery. Breathing in the scent of his cologne, you nip at the bare curve of his shoulder blade, sliding your hands under the apron to stroke his stomach.

“Mmm, thanks for cooking, handsome. How can I possibly repay you?” You coo teasingly, playing with his treasure trail, and he practically purrs as he leans into your touch.

“Plus-tard, tu peux sucer ma bite. Nous devons d'abord manger.” He murmurs, twisting in your arms and gripping the back of your neck, tilting your head back for a proper kiss.

“Mmm, uh huh, whatever you say.” You reply against his lips between kisses, draping your arms around his neck and laughing as he blows a raspberry against your mouth. You slap at his chest in an attempt at getting away from the strong grasp he has on you. He turns you around and slaps you on the ass, then turns back to keep plating your meal.

“Go sit down. Island or dining room, whatever tickles your fancy. What do you want to drink? I have pomegranate juice, orange juice, Sprite, Dr. Pepper and… I think I have Coke? Somewhere?” Dirk bends to peer into his fridge, and you watch with a raised eyebrow and a sly smile, examining the plentiful curve of his ass.

“Oh, you should definitely keep looking for that Coke.” You reply playfully, and Dirk snorts, glancing back at you over his shoulder.

“Should I? Is that what you want to drink?”

“Mhmm, yeah, haven’t had a Coke in like six years but it is DEFINITELY what I want to drink today if it keeps you bent over.”

That earns you a genuine laugh, the pleasantly baffled sort that says he’s not quite sure how he got you to himself. You giggle as he bends over a little further, back arched dramatically just for the laughs it earns him. He gives a loud ‘Aha!’ as he straightens up with a bottle of Coke in hand, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“Now you’ve gotta drink it.”

“Ohh, woe is me.”

“Find a seat, ma chérie, or you’ll never get what you’re so clearly gagging for.” Dirk retorts, and you feel your cheeks get hot even as you pull one of the low-backed stools at the island out. He sets a plate in front of you, followed by the bottle of Coke, then pecks your cheek as he rounds the island to take his own seat.

“God, this looks so good. If you want me to make you breakfast in return, I definitely can.” You offer, but Dirk shrugs, reaching across to squeeze your thigh under the skirt of your dress. You moan around a bite of a Thai lettuce wrap, eyes rolling back in your head at the savoury bite of the peanut sauce.

“I like taking care of you.” He replies simply, then folds the little soft shell tortilla of his fish taco and takes a massive bite. You snicker, reaching across to wipe sauce off of the corner of his mouth and laughing as he licks it off your fingertips. Dinner is a relaxing affair, with you both mostly just devouring your food and occasionally feeding each other. Which generally ends in giggling and having to clean each other up when you accidentally smush sauce on each other’s faces, but you don’t mind. The food is delicious, and you’re fairly sure that even if he sucks in bed, you’d probably stick around for a round 2 just to get more food and the chance to keep giggling with him. You haven’t had this good of a time in years.

Once you’re done with eating, you collect your plates and bring them over to put them in the dishwasher as instructed. You yelp as Dirk steps up behind you, slipping his arms around you to cup just under your breasts, lifting them so he can cup them in his palms. He bites gently along the curve of your neck, pressing his hips into your butt so you can feel his growing erection. A grin stretches across your lips, and you bend at the waist so you can put the dishes into the dishwasher, laughing at the soft groan Dirk lets out as he strokes his hands up and down the curve of your back.

“You’re so fucking hot.” Dirk mutters, and you give a little wiggle of your hips, then straighten up and lean back into his chest.

“You’re so fucking easy.” You retort, and he snorts, sliding his hands around to squeeze your tits again.

“For you? Hell yeah, baby.” He retorts, kissing along your shoulder as he gently squeezes and massages your chest. A breathy moan escapes your lips, and you lean back into his chest firmly, letting him hold your weight as he rolls his thumbs over your nipples through the fabric of your dress and bra. Dirk whispers in french against your ear, but you can barely pick up the words, far too keyed up to focus on anything but the feeling of his big hands squeezing your chest. You reach behind you to clutch at his hair and Dirk groans softly against your ear, peppering kisses across your cheek. He spins you in his arms, laughing as you instantly pull the neck of the apron over his head, tossing it to the side so you can get your hands on his bare skin.

"Have you stretched today?" Dirk asks while stroking your sides, grabbing handfuls of your hips and squeezing. You moan quietly, running your open hands over his chest so you can feel the tickle of his chest hair against your palms.

"Uh..." Your cheeks grow hot, and you feel stupid, but can't help yourself but ask, "Do you mean my-"

Dirk interrupts you with a laugh, kissing you softly as he nuzzles his nose against yours in a surprisingly affectionate manner, "No, mon trésor, your pretty body. These incredible legs."

You gasp as he pulls one of your legs up to his hip, squeezing your thigh hard enough to almost hurt in a delicious way that sends sparks up your spine. You're already wet and he's barely even touched you.

"Uhm, I did yoga during my lunch break." You mumble, "for like, fifteen minutes."

Another laugh, and Dirk kisses you again, hooking his hands under your thighs and lifting you up onto his hips. You cling to his back as he carries you further into his house. You pass a simple bathroom that seems to have mosaics in tile across the floors and walls in the brief glance you get, then a series of photographs and accolades in the stairwell up to the second floor. Dirk pauses by a dark room that seems to be relatively empty, before humming to himself in a way that you read as ‘maybe later’ before he continues on past another bathroom and what looks like two guest bedrooms. An office is next, and then he’s kicking open the door to the master bedroom. This room seems to be the most normal in the house, though it is no less artistic. There’s a huge stained glass window and door that leads to a balcony with gold leafing on the metal. The California king-sized bed is pushed into an arch-shaped alcove in the wall, piled high with blankets, and resting on a plush carpet that you’re sure would feel like silk under your toes. The walls are aegean blue and covered with large, extremely intricate gold mandalas that you can’t help but stare at even as Dirk works a lovebite into the delicate skin of your throat.

“Your bedroom is beautiful.” You mumble, and he hums what may have been a thank you as you stroke his hair. There’s a large walnut vanity against the opposite wall of the bed, though the spot across from the end of the bed is taken up by what absolutely must be a custom mirror considering the size of it and the intricacy of the gold-leafed frame. There’s a door next to the vanity that leads to what looks like a massive bathroom, and the closet has double doors, so you assume it’s a walk-in. Dirk carries you over to the bed and lays you back on his navy sheets, crawling over you as he kisses down the centre of your chest.

“Can I take your dress off?” He asks, and you groan softly, trying to remember what underwear you wore today. A lick to the top of your breast wipes that thought from your mind, and you nod quickly, breath stuttering in your throat. Dirk loosens the corset bodice with clever fingers, nuzzling his nose and tickly moustache against the skin between your breasts. You lift your hips as he pulls the dress up to your waist, then let him support the arch of your back as he tugs it over your head, and your cheeks get hot as you realise what you’re wearing underneath. Dirk freezes, licking his lips, and you groan softly with embarrassment.

Large hands skillfully unclip your cow-print bra, and you let out a ragged gasp as Dirk bites the curve of your breast as he removes it. You almost think he’s going to let you get away with it until he rolls his tongue over your nipple, gives it a quick suck, then pouts up at you as he rests his chin against your chest.

“Aww, I thought I’d get a little milk for my efforts.” he teases, and you bat at him.

“It’s my laundry day! You try having a fucking seven year old!” You complain, cheeks on fire.

“Non, non, ne vous méprenez pas. J'aime votre lingerie.” Dirk insists, and you scowl at him until he realises his use of his native tongue, “Don’t misunderstand me. I love your underwear, my sweet girl. Especially these.”

You gasp as he tugs on the front of the novelty thong you’re wearing, a white strip of a thing with ‘I love cock sauce’ written on the front. His grin makes you want to slap him, but you refrain, just barely. You’re tempted to make excuses and tell him that it was novelty underwear that came in a box of extra hot hot sauce, but you decide against it.

“And here I thought you’d be more interested in what’s beneath it.” You purr, pushing him back a little so he can watch as you pull your thong aside, rub your fingers through the wet mess of your cunt, then slide one finger inside of yourself. Dirk groans lowly, stroking your thighs as he watches, his pupils blown with desire. You smirk at him as you add a second finger on your next thrust, and finally, Dirk snaps out of his awed surveillance. He leans down to kiss along your stomach, using his knees to spread your legs wider while slapping your hand away, then cupping your cunt in his palm.

“How much do you care for that thong?” Dirk asks quietly, and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t.”

“Fantastique.” He replies, gripping the fabric in one hand and ripping it off of you, “I’ll give you some of mine instead.”

You stare at him with an open mouth, not your most attractive look, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He cups you again, leaning down to trail his lips across your chest, swirling his tongue around your nipples as he sucks first one, and then the other into his mouth.

“Your moustache tickles.” You mumble and he laughs quietly against your skin, “S’kinda nice.”

“I’m glad you like it, chérie. Let me know how it feels on your pretty cunt, oui?” He coos playfully, kissing his way down your stomach. He leans up for a moment to say ‘Alexa, play red playlist’ before dipping back down to swirl his tongue in your belly button in a way that makes you yelp and laugh. Music fills the room at just the right volume, and you run your fingers through Dirk’s caramel hair as the low instrumentals fill the room. You’re surprised to find the vibes just right - not too serious, not the bassy kind of shit that acts more as a pace-guide than anything else, and nothing loud enough to take you out of the moment. It takes Dirk a second to get settled between your legs, and you feel your cunt throb as you just barely hear him mumbling to himself over the music.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m introducing myself to your pretty little pussy, ma déesse. Telling her how pretty she is. How much I’m going to love on her.” Dirk replies, “I’ll make you feel so good, princesse. Tu me rends fou - fuck, so fucking stunning.”

You cover your face, whining softly as he finally leans in to kiss your clit, gentle as can be. His moustache tickles, and you start to close your legs, but he gives your thigh a sharp slap.

“Open, baby. Let me lick your pretty little pussy. She’s so lonely.” Dirk coos, pouting sympathetically up at you, then running the flat of his tongue across the length of your cunt. You arch off the bed, and he puts an arm over your stomach to hold you still as he laps up the honey dripping from you.

“God, Dirk, Jesus!” You gasp, and he snickers.

“Calling out to all of your deities, princesse?” he teases, closing his lips around your labia and sucking gently to love on all of you. He’s sloppy at first, intentionally so, warming you up with wide laps of the flat of his tongue, then fucking his tongue into your clenching heat while you gasp and yank on his hair. He doesn’t seem bothered at all by how rough you are with him, humming happily as he closes his lips around your clit and you nearly yank his hair out at the roots.

“Fuck, fuck, why’re you so good?” You moan, and Dirk practically purrs, delving in a little more eagerly. He rolls his tongue over your clit, trapping the sensitive bud in his mouth while he presses two thick fingers into your cunt. You nearly kick him in the ribs, gasping for breath at the sudden fullness, since his digits are far thicker than yours and it’s been a while since you’ve had a play time with your vibrator.

“Relax, mon trésor, I’ll take care of you. Je vais te faire sentir si bien. Vous ne voudrez jamais partir.” He coos, and noticing the way you yank on his hair, he glances up to meet your eyes and translate for you, “I’m going to make you feel so good, baby. You’re never going to want to leave.”

Your moans are probably deafening - you can’t tell if you’re being too loud, you’re too lost in sensation as Dirk’s fingers press into the spot inside of you that makes you clench around him tight enough that he chuckles. He strokes that spot as he rolls your clit in his mouth, and you feel your spine stiffen as you get closer to the edge.

“You’re going to strangle my cock.” He teases, and you groan in response, pushing his face back down against your cunt needily.

“Keep your mouth busy, m’so close.”

“Demanding.” he coos, and it sounds like praise as he gets back to work on your dripping pussy.

“Shut the fuck up, oh my god, please, make me cum.” You beg, and Dirk laughs against you, thrusting his fingers faster into you as he sucks your clit with a bit more determination, finally taking your pleasure a little bit more seriously. He moans around you, spreading his fingers a little to stretch you open a bit more. The pressure builds and builds, and you yank on his hair as a hard suck to your clit sends you reeling over the edge of the cliff into oblivion. Your vision goes white, your legs shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, and Dirk strokes them soothingly as he laps up the evidence of your release. He pulls away just as you start to get overly sensitive, and he kisses a trail up your belly as he settles between your legs.

“Fuck.” You pant, staring up at the ceiling as your vision is returned to you, and you blink a couple of times.

“Such a foul mouth.” Dirk teases playfully, kissing you so softly you barely even feel it. His moustache is wet with your essence as he drops his lips to kiss along your neck, letting you catch your breath. He seems so unhurried, but you can feel the throb of his cock through his too-tight jeans. When you look down, you find them undone, likely to give himself some breathing room, and you smile at the sight of the pink head of his cock sticking out from the waistband of his boxers.

“Take those stupid jeans off. You’re gonna cut circulation off to your balls with pants that tight.” You mutter, and he laughs but obediently shuffles out of his trousers, shedding his boxers along with them.

“You okay for more, or do you need a break?” Dirk asks, and you roll your eyes at him.

“I’m fine. Don’t get cocky.” You retort, and he shows you his teeth with how wide he grins.

“Okay, Miss ‘Why are you so good?’. I’m just being polite.”

Your cheeks are on fire as you spit in your hand and wrap it around him, stroking him from base to tip. You’re just a little bit mean with the way you squeeze the head, then reach down to cup and roll his balls in your palm. He chokes, then laughs breathily as he arches into your hand, a rumbly groan rising in his chest.

“Okay, okay, point taken. C’mon, chérie, hands and knees.” Dirk ‘helps’ you roll over onto your belly, though it’s more of a hindrance than anything since he keeps grabbing and squeezing your ass. You situate yourself, getting as comfortable as you can, knowing this is going to be a lot but unwilling to stop. Dirk strokes your lower back, adjusting the angle as he rubs the head of his cock against you. You try to relax, but you’re admittedly nervous - he’s the biggest you’ve ever taken, and you know his girth is going to be a bit overwhelming at first.

“Deep breath, baby. Biiiig stretch.” Dirk coos, and you would kick him if he wasn’t pressing the thick head of his cock into you, wiping every thought you’ve ever had from your mind. You grip his sheets tightly, going from your hands to bracing on your forearms with one single thrust. You feel uprooted. Unmoored and awash in riptide by the stretch of too much too fast. It feels like it goes on forever, but eventually, Dirk’s pelvis presses up against your ass, and he pets your lower back adoringly. You can feel his groan vibrating through you despite the fact that he isn’t leaning over your body yet, and you’re surprised to find it as loud as your own cry of his name. He stays still for the moment, letting you catch your breath while you deal with the fact that you can feel him in your lungs - can barely breathe for how deep he is.

“Not compensating.” You mumble under your breath, dizzy with fullness, and Dirk hums inquisitively, but you shake your head.

“Are you okay?” He asks, and you reach back one arm to smack him as if he’s doing something wrong by checking in. Luckily, he seems to find it amusing, as he chuckles at you and catches your hand. You shiver as he slides his hand up your forearm.

“Wait, Dirk-” You protest, but you’re not quick enough. He pulls you up by your arm, grabbing the other with his free hand, and you cry out at the change in angle. The pressure inside of you eases as he slowly pulls out, but the relief is short-lived, and you whine as he thrusts back in rather sharply. He sets a measured pace, not too slow, but not quick enough that you don’t take every single inch of him with every rock of his hips. Strong hands hold you by the arms, keeping you somewhat upright as he makes a solid effort at breaking you. Your breasts bounce every time he ruts into you, and if you were capable of conscious thought at the moment, you’d realise how sore you’re going to be later from this position. Eventually, Dirk seems to have pity, releasing his grip on your arms and pushing you down into the mattress instead, panting fervent French as he rocks your world.

You’re drooling. You can feel it under your face, and you’re fairly sure you’re cross-eyed, lost in the pleasure he’s giving you. You can feel yourself rocking back into his thrusts, taking as eagerly as he gives it to you, forcing him to be just a little rougher. If you’re going to ache later, you want it to be a bone-deep ache that’s worth the monumental effort. His hand slides up your spine to cup the back of your neck, both of you slick with sweat, and you have no idea how long it is before his other hand slips between your legs and starts to play with your aching clit.

“Come for me, love, come on. Fuck, you’re so fucking gorgeous, how the fuck did I get you to come home with me? C’mon baby, lemme make you feel good. Let go for me.” Dirk groans behind you, and you feel dizzy and cockdumb as he finds the right angle to send you screaming over the edge again. A ragged groan rips from your lover’s lips as you clench around him, and his hips stutter, the pace of his thrusts ruined. You cling to the sheets as you feel heat flood your cunt, the last couple of pumps of Dirk’s hips fucking it deeper into you. He doesn’t collapse atop you, instead carefully manuevering the both of you until you’re laying against his bare chest, face nuzzled into his fuzzy pec.

“You okay?” Dirk asks after a few minutes of panting for breath and snuggling. You groan against his skin.

“I think you broke my hips.” You retort, and he laughs, giving you a gentle squeeze on the butt.

“I promise I didn’t, chérie. Relax a little longer, then I’ll clean us up. Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Dirk asks, and you melt at his gentle tone, pouting a little as you consider your options.

“Maybe. Is more off the table?”

“Never, ma déesse.” Dirk replies, and you hum, leaning up to kiss him softly. He pets your hair back out of your face, lips pressing to your eyelids, and then your nose before returning to your wanting mouth.

“Don’t commit to something you can’t keep up with. I know you’re older than me.” You remind him, and he gives a diva-like gasp, though he’s still grinning.

“I’m only forty.” He protests, “Still plenty young enough to rock your world. Clearly.”

You giggle, using every ounce of willpower you have to pull yourself up from your position snuggled up against his side, throwing a leg over his hips so you can sit on top of him.

“So, you’re ready to fuck me again?” You ask, brow raised skeptically. He snorts, holding your hips to keep you steady and pushing his thumbs into the softer skin in the curve of your pelvis.

“Find me a guy older than 20 who can manage that, ma petite femme. But, I can take care of your pretty little cunt until I’m ready.” Dirk promises, sweeping his hands up over your sides, “Wanna meet Crème Brûlée?”

You can’t help but laugh, leaning down to kiss him again, “Didn’t I already?”

He laughs, rolling you both over so he can get up, then helping you to your feet. Your legs are a little unsteady, so he pointedly raises an eyebrow at you, but helps you from the room.

“I am not juvenile enough to have named my dick.” he insists, and you snort, following him towards the dark room he’d mused over earlier that night.

“Liar. I don’t believe that for a second!”

“Well, I’m certainly not telling you when you’re just going to make fun of me. Calling me old and cocky. Very rude.” He teases as he opens the door fully and flicks on the light. The room is a deep, royal purple, with one wall entirely taken up by mirrors. There’s a large vanity by the window, and racks of outfits that look like they each might’ve cost a thousand dollars minimum. There’s also a massage table tucked into a corner, likely only pulled out when it’s to be used.

“This is where I keep my nicer stuff. Including Crème Brûlée.” Dirk gestures to the centre of the room, where a dark waterproof mat is set out, and upon which rests what you vaguely recognise as a sybian from a little too much time on the Hub. Your eyes go wide as saucers, and Dirk strokes your lower back soothingly, nipping the tip of your ear.

“Is that…?”

“Mhm. No pressure, baby. If you aren’t into it-”

“I am very into it. Very. Gimme a second to take this in.” You cut him off, and he laughs quietly as he slips up behind you instead. His lips trail a path across your shoulder, hands stroking over your bare stomach before one slips between your legs to collect the cum leaking from you and push it back inside, “These are like, several grand.”

Dirk hums his agreement, stroking wet fingers over your clit, “With the attachments? Certainly. Do you wanna try him out?”

You whimper, grabbing and squeezing his forearm gently as you consider it.

“Yeah. But I don’t want you to stop touching me.” You admit, and he sighs dreamily, rewarding you with slow strokes to your clit.

“I won’t. I can sit behind you, play with your pretty body while you ride it. Once I’m ready, I can even fuck you on it. We can see how many times I can make you come before me.” Dirk’s offer is salacious, and you wet your lips, excitement sending heat burning up your spine.

“Yeah… yeah, ruin me.” You request, and you feel Dirk’s groan as much as you hear it. He guides you over to the toy, wiping it down with a body-safe sex toy cleaner just to be extra safe before he guides you to sit atop the grinder pad. He lets you get settled, fetching a bottle of lube that he sets on the corner of the mat within reach, then sits behind you on the machine. You sigh as he warms up some lube in his hand before he generously rubs it into your cunt, coating you in it to protect you from any possible irritation since the grinder pad is big enough to cover most of you. Once you’re settled and comfortable, he rubs the excess over his cock and balls just in case, then reaches for the remote.

“Ready, baby?”

“Ready. I want you to fuck me again as soon as you’re ready. Need to feel you stretch me open again.” You murmur, breathless with excitement, and it’s the last coherent thought you have for quite some time. The vibration starts relatively gentle, but still overwhelming in your post-orgasmic state. You tremble, attempting to lift your hips, but Dirk grabs you and holds you down.

“Ah, ah, ah. Be a good girl.” Dirk commands, and your spine turns to jelly. It’s too easy to make you come this quickly after the last one. As soon as Dirk turns the sybian up a notch, and then two, you’re crying out for mercy as you lean back into his sturdy chest, your hands reaching back to blindly tangle in his hair. One orgasm turns into two as he turns it up even higher, and you can hear yourself sobbing, distantly, almost like it’s someone else. Dirk gently pushes you to lean forwards, and you gasp for air as the blunt head of his cock presses into you mercilessly. He pulls you back to sit on him, positioning you so that your clit is still rubbing against the grinder pad, and you see stars. Lightning flashes behind your eyes as two turns to three.

“Gripping me like a vice.” Dirk growls against your shoulder, and you sob his name, clinging to him like he’ll save you from the torment he’s putting you through, “I’m not going to last if you keep this up.”

Like it’s your fault.

You scream as your fourth orgasm on the sybian rips through you like a bullet, and you’re shaking as Dirk finally pulls you up off of the machine, laying you down beside it with a fresh load of his cum stuffed deep inside you. He turns off the machine, collapsing beside you on the mat and pulling you into his arms, panting for breath. You blink to try and clear the fog from your brain, glancing at his watch to find you’ve been on the sybian for quite a while, even if it’s felt like both five seconds and five hours.

“You okay?” Dirk asks again, and this time, you curl into his arms and nod sleepily.

“So, so beyond okay.”

~

You wake in the morning curled up in Dirk’s lavish bed, naked but clean, your face buried in his chest. His arm is looped around your shoulders, your legs tangled together, and the sound of his heartbeat is so soothing you almost go back to sleep. Instead, you sit up, straddling Dirk’s leg simply because of the position you’d been in when you awoke. He blinks blearily up at you, rubbing one large hand over his face, then yawning.

“Bonjour.” He mumbles, and you smile, leaning down to kiss him closed-mouth to avoid morning breath. He smiles up at you in that dreamy way that makes you melt like warm butter, “There’s an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. I’ll use the other one. Steal whatever you need, and I’ll get some clothes for you.”

You thank him, slipping out of bed and stretching, bare as the day you were born. It takes you a second to walk properly, but you manage, heading into the bathroom to wash up. By the time you leave, the bedroom is empty save for a shirt and a pair of boxers on the vanity. The shirt is a Dirk Brûlée shirt which makes you snicker, while the boxers have little Sriracha bottles on them and ‘Flaming Hot’ on the ass.

When you enter the kitchen, you find Dirk cooking breakfast in a pair of obnoxious silk boxers while listening to 80s pop music. He smiles at you as you come into view and sit at the island, a hint of something in his eyes that makes your tummy do somersaults. You grab a knife from the block, and an apple from the fruit bowl on his counter, cutting it into slices while you watch him shimmy around the kitchen cooking what looks like far too much food for two. You’re far too fond of him to protest. Instead, you pop a slice of apple into your mouth and stare at the little dimples in his lower back.

“How do you want your eggs, ma petite femme?” Dirk asks, and you gaze dreamily at his stupidly pretty face, chin propped up on your fist.

“Fertilised.” You reply mindlessly, then slip another slice of apple into your mouth. Dirk’s laugh is loud and disbelievingly happy, and he leans across the island to kiss you.

“I can make that happen.”

“Should I throw out my birth control?” You ask playfully, and he snickers.

“Who says I haven’t already?” 

“Usually you don’t tell someone when you’re gonna baby trap them, honey.”

“Is it a trap if you know about it?” Dirk queries, flipping a pancake and grinning at you. You can’t help yourself. You get up from your stool, circling the island to wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face in his back.

“You can baby trap me any day, sugar.”

~

The weekend passes in a whirlwind of laughter and fun and ridiculously good sex. You try out Dirk’s hot tub, then laze around catching sun in his pool. Overheated, you both lay on the couch to watch a movie with cold juice, cuddling even though you’re both too hot for it to be totally comfortable. Dirk translates his pet names for you, though he refuses to translate ‘ma petite femme’ even though that one seems the most obvious to you. He tells you his future plans for the show, and listens while you tell him all about your job at the gallery.

You both take a good hundred pictures throughout the weekend, though neither of you post any of them. You make lunch, and Dirk orders out for dinner as a little treat. He doesn’t like going out too often since most restaurants have the allure of alcohol, and he’s still recovering. He shows you his five year coin, which he keeps on him at all times. He tells you about his parents, and you tell him about yours, and Sean, and he strokes your hair as you vent a little bit about how hard it’s been raising him on your own.

By Sunday afternoon, you dread the thought of leaving. You’ve always been quite independent, but you don’t want to be away from Dirk. He promises to call you, offers several times to let you stay over with Sean, though you both agree that might be a little weird for the poor kid and decide against it. He kisses you about a thousand times before letting you leave, and you see him watching you from the window as you drive off.

Your home feels cold and lifeless when you get home, and you lament the lack of colour. You’ve never been bold enough to go wild with decorating your condo, knowing you’ll have to pay an arm and a leg to repaint it should you ever want to sell. You’ve been home for twenty minutes and you’re already sick of it. As you sit at your computer, still wearing Dirk’s shirt, boxers and a pair of gym shorts, you google ‘ma petite femme’ on a whim.

The direct translation is ‘my little woman’, but you note that it is used instead to mean ‘my little wife’ in practice.

You change into your own clothes, then head out to get groceries for the week. As you’re on your way home, you stop in at a nearby store where you pretend you’ve never been before as a very upstanding single mother. You walk out with a discreet bag, and head home to put away your groceries. Finally, once you’re done and you’ve sufficiently adulted for the day, you unwrap your purchase. Three hours after you left Dirk’s house, he receives a photo of a vibrant pink cock ring in a ring box, and a simple text message.

You need to rename your sybian. I wanna be Crèmed Brûlée.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Your thoughts about Marco x Sora are so good omgggg (<- the anon who asked you about them)

I can't stop thinking about Sora being a pirate after some time, because she's already living on the Moby Dick and married with the First Commander, so why not? (Marco loves loves loves see her fight, actually)

And if the acesan happens would be very funny, and the StrawHats reaction about this?!

Welcome back and I'm glad you like it, truly i am obsessed with Sanji having good parental figures and Sora getting the love she properly deserves. Sora became a pirate in NBL so I don't see why she wouldn't here. Even if she played a more behind the scenes roll there.

Also we didn't really set a time frame for them? So like Sanji could be eight when they join the Shirohige. Sora and Sanji both freaked out by Marco flying them in his talons but they need to make a quick escape from the Navy and animal brain went 'mine' when he saw them. Marco's only explanation is to quite literally look at White Beard and go 'my bird brain went "oo shiny" so i had to bring them' which makes the man laugh so hard the Earth shakes. Vista starts calling him a crow and Marco sets him on fire with a singular look. Marco is so thankful Sanji and Sora are in the infirmary so they didn't see that.

Marco explaining his fruit to them and his place and job in the Shirohige fleet. How his fruit helps because it allows him to treat more than one person at a time or give enough time for back up to come. It doesn't always work. Marco uses it on Sora a lot first mostly because the poison is still affecting her and it's like a god send almost because his fire over time basically cures her. They also use the time to get to know each other and start "dating" because it's really hard to date as a pirate, or a doctor, or a fleet commander. All of which Marco is. They tell Sanji first and he approves of Marco and Sora and Sanji have already joined the crew so ya know, they just gotta tell the crew. The party is extravagant.

Sora makes a comment that she wants to be able to help defend the fleet and the family and Marco agrees and says they'll talk to Jozu and some others about training for her. Sanji is probably already training his kicks and everything because Thatch insists on protecting the kids hands and Jozu has been doing well with him. So them taking on Sora to train is nothing and Vista finds she does very well with a sword and his eyes light up as he looks at Marco and damns him for getting to her first. Marco says he better watch it and they scuffle.

Sanji has to set himself on fire at like thirteen. Marco is watching him and Sora train with Jozu and Vista only to then see his kid set his legs on fire and be thrown into the ocean. He flies out to collect his son and then laughs his ass off at Sora wailing on Vista and Jozu screaming about the dangers of throwing a child off a ship. Marco says she has that covered and checks Sanji over and yep, that's his over abundant(sensitive) haki. Marco says Sanji might be a good candidate for learning to sky walk which is like flying but not really. Sanji is fucking excited. Marco is also so thankful all the god damn time that he and Sora have their own room and they sound proofed it because Marco fully believes Sora hung the moon and the stars and pulls the sun up each morning. Sora has it just as bad back and thinks Marco makes the waves and sea foam. THEY ARE SO GROSS I LOVE THEM OMG

Also could you imagine Ace rocking up to kill the old man and is then held hostage and thinks that blondie around his age is super cute? Too bad he's in the shirohige and Ace fully plans to demolish the fleet until he's forcefully adopted with love and care. Like Ace has no clue what's going on at first because he looks at Marco and then the woman he knows is the guy's wife and just how draped over her he is, like they have to make everyone sick all the fucking time. They have some the highest bounties in the New World. Ace starts flirting with Sanji without a clue to who his parents are and Sanji just gives him that "oh darling" small smile while he leans on the railing and smokes.

During one of these flirting sessions Marco strolls up and is like 'Hey, Thatch said you're in charge of shopping this time, you can head to the island if you want' and Sanji nods and sky walks to the land mass. Marco laughs at that and takes Sanji's spot and gives Ace a smile. When he asks Ace what his intentions are with his son Ace goes pale and sinks to the deck as Marco fucking loses it. Marco pats his shoulder and says he takes after his mom just like Sanji takes after Sora and they approve of the relationship.

Sanji ends up joining the Straw Hat crew on the hunt for Teach and absolutely flirts with Ace in Alabasta who flirts back way harder. Like they are the remix of Sora and Marco and clingy flirting and draping okay? Marco said that's a Roger thing and White Beard 100% agreed with that assessment and said Marco is a bird that mated for life and Marco couldn't argue because his fruit some times overwrites his human nature.

Back on track: Ace and Sanji flirt so fucking hard no one on the ship can believe it. Despite the fact they've been dating for a while, Sanji probably never mentioned he had a boyfriend(or parents) to the crew and just went along with whatever they thought. When they meet Rayleigh he and Shakky look Sanji over with a very high interest because he looks like that one brat's wife. Sanji is like 'yeah, Marco took me and mom to the fleet and we joined and they're married and he's the man I consider my father' which makes Rayleigh blink because why the fuck is he in the Straw Hat crew? He's a White Beard brat? Sanji just shrugs and is like 'idk seemed fun, bonding with my bf's little bro' which makes the Strawhats fucking lose it. They are sent to another plain of existence except Luffy who is like 'cool, we're brothers'.

Then like Marineford happens and Luffy is there, Sanji isn't, Ace is about to be fucking merced and then Sora and Marco are there like 'can't kill the son in law fuckers' and like yeah, White Beard dies but Ace doesn't. That wound is a mortal wound and so is Luffy's but Marco is a bird brained doctor and he has absolutely 'oo shiny''d his son's bf so like he's in the family in the family, ya know? It's fine if not and we can go deeper in that later need be.

Also could you imagine Marco coming up as an Emperor in this? Like the battle against Black Beard is more a draw than anything else so they are both brought to the status of Emperor and damn those bounties are fucking HIGH. Of course parental sin bullshit means Sanji and Ace's bounties also fucking go astronomical, more so than before. Like holy shit the straw hat crew is looking at Ace and Sanji post ts and how fucking gross they are but they are still two of the most wanted men in the new generation and should be feared.

Would you guys believe I got a normal amount of sleep?

[thesharktanksdriver]

Any thoughts or ideas of DC Comics!magical girl reader in the Teen Titans (2003 version)?

Bro I love 2003 teen titans sooo muchhhhhh. It was so good.

In dc magical girls timeline Dick is already grown up but meeting 2003 Dick would definitely interesting! I imagine in this some dimensional shenanigans happened leading to the 2003 cast ending up in their universe.

She’d get along with them like a house on fire, it’s honestly kinda funny how the moment the crew of teens spit her she somehow integrates with them seamlessly.

I imagine magical girl y/n as kinda deadpan most times and somewhat stoic. It’s kinda a product of her childhood (or lack thereof one) and being slightly jaded with the world due to her duties to protect it. So having kids her age who are shackled with something similar yet are more optimistic (hell even Raven seems more happy than her sometimes) kinda lifts her mood.

I’d say within the group she’d find them all to be uplifting but would especially like how they try their best to make her feel like her age again.

Starfire takes to try and engage with “girly” stuff the Tamaranian girl had seen in tv shows and magazines. Having “girls nights” where Starfire, along with Raven and the batgirls force y/n to enjoy things they once never had the time nor privilege to experience. Things like painting her nails or even just the simplicity of having another girl to talk to about things like dealing with societal pressures and the influx of weird creepy guys despite being literal children. Along with this Starfire would absolutely be obsessed with y/n’s ability to change their magical girl outfits and Rigel. Y/n would most definitely at one point twin with Starfire and the two would be a dynamic duo.

With Raven there would be a kinda camaraderie in both being magic users that have to deal with larger and more complicated threats. Raven didn’t exactly have the best childhood and neither did y/n, the both of them having to grow up faster than everyone to protect not only themselves but others as well. Along with this the two of them are more of a quiet force, though for different reasons. While no one sees the two of them openly talking much they’d definitely have a deep and quiet kinda friendship. One where in the middle of the night they sit atop Wayne manor and just kinda enjoy the silence or speak their minds.

For Cyborg he kinda just took one look at them and being the extrovert that he is adopted them. Not in the literal way but in the way an extrovert spots an introvert and someone absorbs them into their friend group kinda way. Either or he acts as y/n’s voice in some situations and makes sure they’re included. He’s a bright and inspirational pillar to y/n, someone who’s not only strong and intelligent but also is able to balance being a kind and loving person. Though he can be serious when he needs to he’s can also struck a balance between that and cracking jokes. I’d like to think that when seeing y/n’s more stoic composure he makes a challenge with the others in who can make her smile more. Like he’s tallying everything down, small barely visible smiles are 1 point, a somewhat clear one is 2, ones where it’s a full on one is 3 points and a laugh/giggle is 4 points.

You’d best bet beast boy is acting like a hyperactive ball of sunshine who doing as many cheesy puns as possible. It’s kinda like how he is with Raven but with less threat of being sent to the shadow realm and more just blank face stoicism with a small shimmer of amusement he can see in their very tired eyes. Though he can loud and a bit childish y/n would really enjoy his presence even if they don’t outwardly say it. If he’s smiles and sunshine then their the calm peaceful presence looming beside him as he drags them away to go and play video games. He’d definitely at some point shapeshift into a ferret to look like Rigel, the “real” ferret giving a small sound that seemed like a chuckle as it curled around your neck. At some point Damien is probably dragged into a weird friendship with him, cyborg and y/n. Two extroverts and two introverts on all ends of the scale.

Robin/Dick would definitely be the most interesting of the bunch especially considering how there’s an older version of himself and the Robin currently is Bruce’s biological kid who’s wielding a sword at everyone. Either way Robin being ever resourceful adapts with his team and strikes a friendship with the relative oddball in the Wayne manor. Both 2003 Robin and y/n in a lot of ways are similar due to the responsibility on their shoulders and having to be at the forefront of it. But unlike y/n Dick is able to better cope and handle it which he sees y/n still somewhat struggle with. Both he and the alternate older version of himself kinda team up together in dragging y/n away from tirelessly working or going on patrols alone. Along with that he’s kinda able to see when he himself is pushing himself too far and how that hurts not only himself but others through y/n.

Sorry this took so long to answer and how lengthy it is lol