#shes sweet and innocent and then you really know her and shes just JUDY!!!!!

[wexhappyxfew]

next time i wake

(a/n): because i am very much in 'loving rosie rosenthal hours' and judy rybinski of silver bullets is deserving of light and love and i just think the two would be a good fit for each other; whatever direction that leads them in. please enjoy!

Everything around her was warm, fuzzy and somewhat bright, but also peaceful and quiet and tranquil. It was a feeling she couldn't really remember feeling in quite some time.

She shifted around a bit, the blanket tucked up under her chin and the pillow under her head insanely fluffy, and there was a gentle whir of a fan somewhere above her.

Slowly she opened up her eyes and rolled onto her side, a small yawn sneaking out, a bit of pain somewhere in her leg, and then focused in front of her and was surprised to find none other than Captain Rosenthal there.

Judy's eyes slowly widened.

He wasn't looking at her at the minute; he was working his way through a book that she couldn't see the title of - bent over forward, staring down at the book propped between his fingers, a hand under his chin, deep in thought.

He couldn't have looked more glorious to her.

A stretch to even wonder what her current state was, how she had gotten here, and what was going on.

But, she was staring at Captain Rosenthal and for a moment, everything was okay.

"Sir?" she tested, her voice croaking and dry, her mouth tasting like saw dust. A crackling cough escaped her system and Captain Rosenthal looked up from his book and a soft smile grew on his face; he immediately went to grab for the water at her bedside and slid the chair closer forward.

"Hey," he said quietly, "how are you feeling?" She watched him and slowly nodded.

"Okay?" he asked her, "Let me help you sit up, get some water in you." She nodded again. He placed the water down and she let him take her hands and slowly sit her up.

"Here, you're good," he said, reaching over to adjust the pillow a bit more upwards behind her back, "there ya go, lean back a bit, there, good." Judy slowly, weakly if she could admit, let go of his hands and laid back against the pillow and then glanced towards the cup of water. She felt so weak it was honestly horrible. And in front of Captain Rosenthal.

"Want some water?" She nodded. He picked up the cup, and helped to adjust it in her hands - once she got some sips going, a few wet coughs to follow, she could get her voice going.

"Thank you, sir," she said looking up at him, and he smiled. There was something in his look that brought her comfort in a moment of time where she felt she had absolutely no idea what was going on. And he seemed to understand that right from her looking at him.

"Silver Bullets took a hit, at the ball turret," Captain Rosenthal said quietly, "they pulled you out, unconscious, got you to the ground. Lieutenant Montez made sure you got to a stretcher safely, got your leg fixed up and in bed. You've been out about a day." She blinked. She could hardly even remember that mission, getting in the ball turret - any of it.

"Where is she?" Judy asked quietly, "Lieutenant Montez?" Captain Rosenthal regarded her for a minute and glanced over his shoulder.

"She's not doing great," he told her, voice low, "I think Sergeant Harlowe convinced her to get some food, but she's been by your side a majority of the day and night - Lieutenant Carlisle and Lieutenant Achterberg, too." Judy stared at him.

"And you, sir?" He offered a quick smile.

"I've been here, too," he said, "keeping watch." There was something in his gaze far more comforting than that of others, that she trusted, something she wanted to reach out and grab hold of and never let go. He was convincing enough of that even with a few words. He seemed to be quite good at that.

"Judy!" Judy looked away from Captain Rosenthal and looked towards the entrance to the Med Bay; Judy was almost more relieved that she could say for - Lieutenant Bradshaw stood there, looking far better than she had in days, the stress under her eyes still more prevalent because of all the recent happenings, but looking cleaned up and slightly more well rested than before.

"Hi, Lieutenant," Judy said, her voice pathetic almost as Lieutenant Bradshaw came up to her and gently wrapped her arms around Judy's rather weak frame and gave her a soft squeeze before leaning back, face filled with relief and worry all at once.

"Look at you," Lieutenant Bradshaw said, "I just came to check in on you, stop by, give Captain Rosenthal here some company and instead I find you here awake." Judy grinned.

"The universe puts people in places for reasons," Lieutenant Bradshaw said and Judy chuckled slightly at her words, before Lieutenant Bradshaw glanced at Captain Rosenthal.

"How ya doing, Captain?" Captain Rosenthal - Rosie, Judy told herself - smiled.

"Just fine," he said, "keeping Rybinski company." Lieutenant Bradshaw smiled and turned back to Judy.

"How about I get you a cup of soup, huh?" Annie said before glancing at the near empty cup of water, "And more water. Liquids are always important. You were running a fever for a bit, but still, we'll hydrate you up."

"Forgot you were a nurse, Lieutenant." Rosie said with a chuckle, looking up at Lieutenant Bradshaw as she smirked and shook her head.

"My Ma is, so let's just say, I get it from her," Lieutenant Bradshaw said and then squeezed Judy's shoulder, "I'll be back."

Judy watched Lieutenant Bradshaw go - she really was the best - caring, kind, tough as nails, and if you mess with her enough, you'll have it coming. Judy would always admire Lieutenant Bradshaw - especially with Captain Brady going down.

Judy knew that she had gone and taken time to get those emotions out somewhere in the middle of the night, where no one could hear her or see her. And in the morning, she'd been just as she always had, strong as she always had, smiling like she did, crooked and toothy. You would've never known. But Judy knew - the few times Lieutenant Bradshaw had let on that there was something with Brady that hadn't been there before. Judy knew.

"You okay?" Judy watched Lieutenant Bradshaw disappear out the doors and then refocused again on Rosie, who was watching her rather intently, like if a gust of wind blew in, she'd blow over and he'd have to lay himself out to keep her from crash-landing on the ground. Which, in hindsight, she appreciated.

"Fine, sir," she said, and pulled the blankets up more, "it's chilly." Rosie watched her and then leaned forward and placed a hand on her forehead. It caught her off guard - his nearness, his aftershave, his presence there beside her, this sudden mother-hen dotting nervousness exuding just from that movement.

Maybe she still had the fever.

Judy slowly slid her eyes towards Rosie's face, which was closer than it had been before and she tried to dissect it, but like Major Cleven or Lieutenant Bradshaw, he schooled whatever he was feeling pretty well.

"You're a little warm," he said, "maybe you didn't break the fever yet." Rosie slowly stood to his feet and glanced around.

"Let me try and find a towel…." he muttered under his breath before moving towards where a few of the nurses were, quietly discussing something with them. Judy watched, that smile itching on her face to continue to grow wider. She shook her head and glanced towards the book.

"Of Mice and Men." she said out loud.

"It's a good one," she heard Rosie say, suddenly appearing again, "a lot of emotion though. Pretty heavy." Judy looked up towards him and bit back her lip a bit and glanced back down at the cover.

"I mostly stick to Jane Austen, I'll admit," Judy said and then smiled, "but I'd happily take some recommendations though, sir." Rosie grinned at her, where his eyes grew all glowy and soft.

"I'll promise to lend it to you when I'm done," he said, "I'd like to hear your thoughts." Judy did blush, but she outwardly blamed it on the fever and just went along with Rosie believing the same.

"Here," Rosie said, holding up the cloth, "was sitting in ice cubs, asked one of the nurses if you could use it, cool you down."

"Thank you, sir," she said as she laid back a bit, and he laid it against her forehead. She let out a quiet sigh at the relief of the cold cloth there on her skin and shut her eyes.

"That feels wonderful," Judy said quietly, "thank you." She could almost sense the quiet smile lingering on Rosie's face, though she had her eyes closed. Her heart bounced a bit inside her chest.

"Let me know when it starts drying out," he said, and she peaked her aching eyes open to see him settling again down on the chair beside her. He caught her gaze and smiled slightly.

"Get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up. Or whenever Annie gets back." he said, a slight chuckle at the end of his sentence at his words. Lord knows Annie could come back with more than she bargained for and fill Judy up with goodness. Judy watched Rosie for a moment, bathed in sunlight, and grinned.

"What?" Rosie asked, his voice tender in a way that reminded her of home. Judy grinned wider instead and shut her eyes.

"It's a secret, sir," Judy said and she heard Rosie laugh slightly.

"What does that-" Judy cracked an eye open and held a finger to her lips with a chuckle.

"I'll let you know when I wake up." she said and then shut her eyes and fell asleep to the soft laughs of Captain Rosie Rosenthal.

[femalefrontedbandsconfessions]

30402

Confession: Hello guys, I was the one who submission about some abusive confessions sent over the years. I was mostly angry at all the hate "confessions" 5sos stans sent about an underage Rena. On twitter years ago grown adults would bully her, threaten physical violence against and even tell her to kill herself etc all in the name of "activism". It had gotten so bad she made her layout dark at one point and I was very worried. As a black person, her hair has never bothered me. Most of the people abusing her when white people pretending to act like "allies" towards us and tell us what is and isn't racist. That hairstyle was inspired by industrial/cyber goth culture which was very popular back in the 2000s in goth scene and I bet those horrible people don't even know about because they came from a world of pop music. Also I takes three seconds for them to google industrial goth fashion. I have some white industrial goth friends who wear similar hairstyles and none of them are racist. They're all very kindhearted sweet people with an epic taste in music, fashion and culture. That goth subculture has been popular since the late 90s and 2000s. By the way I've always loved that side of goth culture because industrial/cyber goth fashion looks so beautiful, badass and the music is awesome. I'm glad a couple of people who ran hate blogs about Cherri Bomb/Hey Violet apologized and I forgive them because they sounded very remorseful and sincere. Unfortunately one more person still runs a hate page. I confronted the person, especially about how badly Rena was treated and of course the person who runs that blog is crakkker and of course they placed the blame on an innocent child instead of placing the blame on the adults who bullied and threatened a child's life just so they can look like "political heroes" while they're a bunch of evil mean spirited political villains. I was very mad when they blame her like she was just a kid?? I also told them they sounded like a nazi, told them how performative they and that they're no "activist". Also told them to google industrial/cyber goth fashion, told them they're a pop music stan (although I love pop music but from the 80s and 2000s). Lastly I told them that 5sos sucks. Those 20 something year old white Australian men did absolutely nothing to defend her or her band. I've researched they did far worse things while in their early 20s too and barely was held accountable for it. Like always, males always get a slap on the wrist and are babied while women and young girls, especially in the industry suffer. I hate she had to apologize for having a hairstyle that's very common within the industrial goth world. Even another long time fan who's also black told her that she loved her threads and didn't need to apologize. When Rena said she was getting told to go kill herself it brought tears to my eyes. Imagine wanting to be a "political left wing activist" so bad you end up sounding just as vile, horrible and evil just like the nazis who identify as right wingers? I hope none of those people have kids of their own. Wanting to be appear like a so called "woke activist" give you no excuse to abuse kids, famous or not. Treating kids any kind of way breaks my heart so much, it's just as bad as animal abuse. I guess that's why we barely have child stars nowadays because throughout history, child stars like Shirley Temple and Judy Garland have been abused so kind of way by nasty abusive adults. I really wish Cherri Bomb/Hey Violet never met that garbage boy band because as much as some rock and metal fans can be annoying at times, pop stans can be very very awful people, especially when it comes to boy bands. Just wanted to add that Julia Pierce is now a goth dj. They all moved on from their teen years and other people should move on too. Also I'm very happy that the other hate pages got deleted while two sincerely apologized. Long confession but this is just something I wanted to speak out about. 🖤

[roxie-roo]

Emptober Day 13: Treasure

Pirates loved treasure. Taking it, collecting it, admiring it, as long as it was valuable, they loved it. The only reason that Princess Katherine knew that, was because she happened to have a pirate suitor. Pirate Joe. Katherine buried her face into her hands and groaned under her breath when she thought about it. He, for some reason, thought she was a pirate. She wasn't! Obviously! She was a princess! But that was besides the point. She shook her head and let out a huff, eying the harbor and relaxing when she didn't see him flying or boating towards her kingdom. Maybe she was safe for today.

"Oh pirate princess!"

She had spoken too soon. Letting out a sigh, she put down her shulker box of materials and sat down on it, looking up at Joe with a bored expression and a roll of her eyes. "Pirate Joe." She, at this point, was tired of him and his antics, and she was tired of being nice to him. She shouldn't have to be, right?

He kept coming by and she kept rejecting him, and it was a vicious cycle at this point.

"Well, I was just going treasure hunting, as usual.." He started, his tone bordering on feigned innocence. "And I found something simply beautiful! And I just knew that you'd like it."

Katherine did her best to not roll her eyes again. "Do you now... what is it?" The last time he said he knew she'd like something, it was a trident bigger than her. A trident that didn't belong to either of them. And now she was presented with some strange orb, probably something ocean related, she'd never seen it before.

"Uh,, Joey..? What is that?" She carefully took it in her hands, doing her best to be delicate with the strange orb.

"It's a heart of the sea!" Joe proclaimed, hands on his hips proudly as he looked at his newest find. "Don't you know what they are?"

"No?" Katherine found that a stupid question. She wouldn't be asking if she knew. But she held her tongue. "What is it?"

"Silly pirate princess." His tone seemed condescending, as it typically did when she didn't know something that she "should" know. 'Every pirate worth their salt knows what these are!"

Then obviously I'm not a pirate, Katherine thought, rolling her eyes. "That doesn't answer my question."

And he continued to not answer her question. He left her with the Heart of the Sea in her hands and flew off, not without flirting with her a bit more. She shook her head with a huff and got off the shulker box, opening it to continue working on her castle. The nerve of some pirates.

There was, of course, another object of the pirate's affection by now. The Sheriff was also being pursued by Joey. While Jimmy busied himself getting the gunpowder farm, Judy, back up and running, Joey decided to pay him a visit with a different kind of treasure.

"There we go.." The sheriff muttered and helped himself to his feet by grabbing onto one of the supports of the tower. "Atta girl.." He adjusted his hat with a grin as he stepped back, dusting his hands off and looking proudly up at the water tower.

"Yoo-hoo! Cowboy!"

And all at once, Jimmy's peace and confidence was interrupted by a grating voice, making him flinch in surprise and turn around with a grimace. Great. "You again? Listen, fella- I told ya t'leave me alone, didn' I?"

"They always play hard to get." Joey waved a hand dismissively and grabbed the bundle from around his waist. "No matter, I come baring a gift!" He beamed, untying the string and shoving the bag into the unwitting hands of the Sheriff.

Jimmy fumbled with it, but carefully peeked inside and... oh Sweet Pearl, it was a shit ton of iron. Which, Jimmy needed, and he wasn't sure how Joey knew about that. Maybe he didn't. Maybe this was some kind of strange coincidence.

"A little birdy told me you were in need of iron to finish your railroad!"

Maybe not.

"Well-" Jimmy cleared his throat. "Thanks- really-"

"But of course! And now, for my gift in return?" Jimmy was confused at that. Joey already had gunpowder, what more could he- "A kiss, maybe?" Oh. Fuck.

"Uhhh-" The Sheriff forced out a nervous laugh, his face blooming about as red as his tnt wagon. "Now- now hold on there-" He stammered, clearing his throat. "I don't-.. No thanks.."

"Oh, come on." Joey pouted. "Not even a little kiss?"

"No." Jimmy repeated. "Now go on- git goin'!"

Joey huffed, but complied and left. And Jimmy was left with the bundle of iron, confused and unsure if he should accept this. It was likely stolen, now that he thought about it. And probably from False. Great, now he'd have to go and apologize for this. Oh well, it forced him to actually go talk to her. So, reluctantly, he took his gift over to the crafting table.

Pirates loved treasure, but god, did the treasure really have to be stolen from other people?

[brokenreality--xa]

Jax. “Blade” Raider. He’s a guy who does what he wants. Selfish, asshole but his only trueness is his loyalty. Get close to him and he’ll be your best friend. Heck, he may even open up to you. He’s a guy who was an every day person trying to survive, till shit hit the fan and he joined the group. He kills without caring. It’s the only way to make him feel good about his past. { fallout 4 }

Spade. “Emma” Raider. She’s been traded for safety of a small community underground. Being a slave at a young age while being exposed to things she shouldn’t be - took away her innocence. When Raiders came and slaughtered the slavers, she too had too much fun with overly stabbing the bodies. The raider decided to keep her and she became a fun asset. Not only by beauty and the need to for attention in anyway but to make travelers help her, which meant an easy rob or kill. She also works at Gomorrah to get her fill. { Fallout 4, NW DLC, Fallout 3, Nv }

Judy Murphy. Diamond City Resident. She originally came from Rivet City and traveled North to get away from her homeland. News of her brother joining the Brotherhood and dying on the battlefield gave her the push to do something new. She plays off as a “stepford wife”, always baking pies and goodies for the residents of Diamond City. In truth she’s very good with her Sniper Rifle ( with scope ). She just wants a simple life. She’s a fan of Nuka World, exploring, as long as she has a buddy to keep her company. She’s very innocent, sweet friendly girl. She couldn’t hurt a fly, unless it was really bothersome and even then, she’d still try to capture it and let it go. { Fallout 3, Fallout 4, NW. NV coming soon }

Sam Flynn. Traveler. Arriving in the Wasteland without a memory of how. He’s here to find his father who’s working for the Institute. Last he can remember is returning to the world from inside a ‘computer data base’ called The Grid. All that he knows is that everything is fine, and his father sacrificed his life to save his son except- that’s not the case. Truly, his father is racing against time to stop Clu who found a way to ruin the world. Maybe it wasn’t the Chinese who sent the bombs over, maybe it was something completely different. Sam is a time traveler and can work in any fallout based verse. ( minus 76 )

Violence, Sexual, Blood, Drugs - themes. If you are up for the challenge please hmu or like this! I will come at you - esp if you are shy. I don’t mind it. I can use all the interactions for my babes! Shipping comes with Chemistry. Some muses will be other verses too. ( i.e. tlou, twd )

[novelconcepts]

fic wanting (more than any ghost could)

“Do you still see him?”

Dani raises her eyes from the polished brass frame she’s been trying to pretend for half an hour not to gaze into. “What?”

Jamie isn’t looking at her. Jamie is, in fact, half in their closet, fumbling to hang up an assortment of shirts that have invaded the floor over the past week. Her voice is casual, easy, a little too cheerful for the kind of day they’ve been having. 

“Do you still see Eddie?”

Something in Dani’s chest clenches at the name. She doesn’t hate hearing it anymore--Jamie’s helped with that more than even she can know, coaxing stories out of Dani over the years to turn Eddie into a memory she can bear carrying around instead of a sharp knife between her ribs--but there’s something about the way Jamie says it now. Like she’s trying to get at something Dani can’t see yet. 

“No,” she says, a bit more clipped than usual. “I haven’t seen him in years.”

“Since that night,” Jamie presses. “Yeah? Only, I figure you would have said something otherwise. If you’d seen him after that, I figure you would have mentioned it. Or done your scary-bug routine.”

Dani clenches her fists in her lap. “What are you getting at, Jamie?”

“Nothing,” Jamie says, her voice entirely too innocent. Dani clears her throat, a Teacher gesture she hasn’t had to use on actual children in years. 

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because--” At this, Jamie pokes her head back out of the closet, grinning. “You are having what the songs call a rainy sort of Monday.”

Dani makes a face at her. Fact of the matter is, every day has felt like a rainy sort of Monday for the last week or two. She’s been steady too long, she fears, easy in her skin for years more than she thought she’d be allowed. Four, five, six Christmases have come and gone--four, five, six birthdays--four, five, six years of setting tables and arranging flowers and kissing Jamie goodnight and good morning and good I just felt like it along the way. 

And now, things are stirring. Changing. It’s a slow motion wake-up call, nothing so reliable as to make her stomach clench up every time she sees a reflection of blonde hair and mismatched eyes...but she’s getting there. Getting to the point of wanting to cover every mirror in the house again, getting back to that old habit of letting her eyes slide out of focus when she passes shop windows and too-clean city buses. The Lady isn’t always there, but Dani can’t guess when she’ll appear, and that’s somehow the worst bit. The not knowing. 

“Jamie,” she says. “Seriously, what are you getting at?”

“Okay.” She backs out of the closet, clicks off the light, shuts the door. “Okay, this is going to sound a bit out there.”

“Like nothing else in our life,” Dani drawls, watching Jamie move across the small room to settle beside her on the mattress. Her face is alight with something not-quite excitement, not-quite pleasure. It’s Jamie’s thinking face, Dani realizes. Jamie’s idea face. 

Usually, this is the face that results in furniture moved around the apartment for a new look, or a spur of the moment trip out of state to see the ocean, or an incredibly poor new dining experiment that will absolutely result in ordering takeout and eating on the living room floor at ten in the evening. 

“How did you get rid of him?” Jamie asks. Dani bites her lip. 

“I--”

“You never told me,” Jamie presses. “Not really. You just showed up a few days later with a cup of the worst coffee England’s ever seen and a promise that you were ready. And you were, and I’m never gonna stop being grateful for it, but you never told me what happened. How’d you go from flinching away to never seeing the specter of Ex-Boyfriends Past again?”

Dani shifts, gripping the material of her shirt in both hands. “It’s...hard to explain.”

“Can be patient,” Jamie says easily, like she’s ever anything less when it comes to things like this. She moves across the mattress in an easy prowl, settling with her knees touching Dani’s like they’re just two kids at a sleepover, ready for a spooky story. 

Two kids at a sleepover, Dani thinks with a wry amusement, except the way I feel the second her knee touches mine would never fly at a Clayton House Function. Mom would be scandalized. 

“It was a weird night,” she says slowly, remembering. Her eyes flutter closed, her memory reaching out across a gulf of half a decade. Who had she been that night? Scared. Always so scared back then, but also...determined. A little drunk. Maybe more than a little. “I was thinking...I was thinking about you. About you and me, and that...”

“Kiss,” Jamie supplies, when she falters. Dani knows they’re both remembering now, how Jamie had asked if she was ready and how she’d been nodding even before she could process the question. She was ready, for Jamie, and she wasn’t, for what it would mean. 

“It was a good kiss,” Dani says, smiling a little. Sloppy, and a little chaotic, their mouths slipping and missing and locating again as the wine steered the bus. She still remembers how sturdy Jamie’s jacket felt in her fists, how steady Jamie’s hands somehow were in her hair, on her back, pulling her so close she’d thought for a minute they’d be allowed something precious and sacred and theirs on a night she had spent lost in darkness. 

“It was,” Jamie agrees. Her hands move across the divide between them, closing over Dani’s wrists, turning her palms upright. “And?”

“And I wanted it. That. You. And I knew if I didn’t deal with the rest of it, finally, I wasn’t going to get another chance. You looked so...” Broken. “Certain, when you walked away that night, that I wasn’t ready. And you were never going to push.”

Jamie makes a little humming sound, fingertip tracing Dani’s lifeline. She shivers, flexes her fingers, smiles. 

“Hard to think when you’re doing that.”

“Do it anyway,” Jamie coaxes. Dani closes her eyes again, tighter. 

“I was drunk, and I was--”

“Riled up?” Jamie suggests, laughter in her voice. Dani flips over one hand, smacks her knee lightly. 

“If you want the story, stop talking. Yes. Riled up. And angry, if I’m honest. Angry at him, and angry at myself for not being able to let him go.”

She’d been so tired, she remembers. So tired, the way a person gets when sleep is just a parade of memories best left in the dark. The way a person gets when every smile is a mask, every laugh is a reprieve, every touch of another person’s hand is electric and painful and too much to stand. 

“So, I took his glasses. And I went out to the fire. Hannah had left it...I guess, Hannah was dealing with her own stuff that night. It hadn’t occurred to me to worry. It was just me, and him, and I threw them in. I didn’t want them, you know. Tried to tell his mom that, but Judy was...” Kind. Tried. Never quite ready to see what was right in front of her. “Anyway. I tossed them in, and I watched them melt, and it was the last time I ever saw him.”

“Because?”

“Because I was ready,” Dani says, a bit helplessly, feeling unmoored by the combined distance of memory and the solidness of Jamie holding her hand. She’s on the bow of a ship, she feels, shifting her weight in a search for balance, and if either the past or the present are to push just a little harder, she thinks she’ll go over the side. 

“Because you were ready,” Jamie agrees. “Not to carry that weight anymore. Because you wanted something more. Something that would make you happy. Dani...are you happy? Right now?”

It’s a bucket of ice water, and Dani sits up straighter. Her chest aches. “Yes,” she breathes. “With you, yes.”

Jamie smiles. “I’m not asking for that. Not really. I mean...are you happy. These last few weeks, you’ve been...I don’t want to say slipping away. I don’t want to say it, ‘cuz I know where you’ll go with a thought like that, but...”

But I have been, Dani thinks. Because I can see her, Jamie. Not all the time. But enough to not know whose face will be in the mirror each morning. 

“So, I was thinking. The last time you carried something like this, it was him. And you got rid of him. Never saw him again. Banished him, some might say.” Jamie shifts a little, like she’s actually getting nervous. Dani hasn’t seen her nervous in years, not since setting a single flower on a countertop and saying, I’ve got a problem. Or rather, we’ve got a problem, Poppins.

“Jamie--”

“So, I was thinking,” Jamie repeats. “If you could get rid of something that big, something that weighed that heavy, and you could do it because...because of...”

“You,” Dani supplies, knowing this is a step too far even for Jamie’s grinning sense of accomplishment. Knowing Jamie needs her to fill in the spaces sometimes, to remind her the way she’s always reminding Dani, that she is the most important person in Dani’s world. “Because I wanted you.”

“Yeah,” Jamie says, relief flooding her face. “Yeah, me. So...why don’t we try it again?”

“Try...”

“Banishing,” Jamie says. She’s starting to lean forward, a little-kid excitement roiling up through her small frame. “Banishing the beast. You and me. You don’t have to do it on your own, Dani. You know that? We can work together.”

Dani’s mouth opens and closes. “I don’t...I let her in, Jamie. Me. I invited her.”

“Yeah,” Jamie says gently, “but the way I see it, you invited him, too. In a way. You felt responsible for his death, and you carried that all the way across the pond, and you let it sit like a stone on your chest for months. Until you decided not to anymore.”

“So...you’re saying you think I can just decide to let her go, too?” She’s not sure she likes this conversation, where it’s headed, what it implies. Jamie shakes her head aggressively, curls flopping around her face. 

“No, no, Poppins. Listen. What I’m saying is, I think we can make her let go. Together.” Jamie curls her fingers tighter around Dani’s, thumb playing reflexively across her knuckles. “Like last time. You know.”

They sit for a long stretch in silence, Dani mulling it over, Jamie just watching her with a sweet nervousness in her eyes. She looks like maybe this was the kind of idea that appears in the middle of the night, out of a dream, and when you wake up and try to pass it along to someone else, all the logic falls right out of the bottom.

“Let me...get this right,” Dani says slowly. “You think...we can banish the Lady of the Lake...from being attached to my soul...like last time. When we...”

“Wanted each other more than any ghost could want you,” Jamie affirms. She looks a little embarrassed, but with that solid marching-on expression Dani knows they both get when they’re determined to set something right. Her lips curl upward at the corners almost against her will, looking at Jamie with that expression on her face. 

“That is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard, Jamie.”

“Yeah,” Jamie says, rising up on her knees, hand sliding up Dani’s wrist, up her arm, cupping under her elbow as she guides Dani to hold her around the waist. “Yeah, it is. But it was silly last time, too. To think you could want me enough to let go of him.”

“I did,” Dani says, a lump rising in her throat. “God, I really did.”

“And now?” Jamie’s hand, trembling around her elbow. Jamie’s face, inches from her own. Something seems to release in Dani’s chest, something warm and spring-loaded and impossible to put back once it’s loose. 

“I...can’t think of anything I want more,” she says hoarsely, honestly, and then Jamie is kissing her and she can’t think of anything else. 

***

It is, far and away, the most insane idea they’ve ever had. More insane than America, more insane than a flower shop, more insane than putting one foot in front of the other despite knowing a clock was running down in the background. 

And it’s the best Dani has felt in weeks. 

There is a difference, she thinks, between living your life with a timer going and living your life actively trying to stop that timer. She’s never considered the latter before. If she’s honest with herself, she’s been living on Jamie’s philosophy of Borrowed Time ever since leaving Bly--that life is organic, that everything which begins is doomed to end, and that the beauty is in the ending. It’s a good philosophy for parties, a good thing to say to people to make yourself look enlightened and stable. 

It is ever so less enlightened, to admit to anyone over a glass of wine that she is now desperately trying to remove a ghost via sheer force of desire for her forever person. 

And, yet...

“This,” she mumbles against Jamie’s neck, “is still the most insane thing we’ve ever done.”

“The part with the ghost,” Jamie pants, “or the part where we’re performing an exorcism via sex?”

Dani raises her head, eyebrows arched. “All of it? Jamie. All of it.”

They’ve made it through the majority of a day with hands to themselves, if only because a shop you own is less likely to stay afloat if you spend the entire day groping your girlfriend behind the counter...but it’s not like Jamie has been making it easy on her. She’s got this way of being exactly where Dani wants her, exactly when Dani wants her, and still holding herself just out of reach. All day, it’s been Jamie shifting past with hands on Dani’s hips, Jamie’s fingers brushing hers as they work together on an arrangement, Jamie standing just behind her, pretending she can’t feel the way the breath pulls up through Dani’s body until her heart is pounding. 

“You’re rude,” she says now, pushing Jamie harder against the back room door. “You know that about yourself, right?”

“I’ve just been doing my job,” Jamie says, mock-innocently. “Just going about my business as usual, Poppins. Really thought we’d be able to wait until we got home--you know, like proper adults.”

Dani makes an undignified noise through her nose, grasping Jamie’s collar in one hand and holding her by the hip with the other. Jamie's grin is just a touch more smug than Dani feels capable of looking at without spinning apart. 

“You made this bed,” she says, and ducks her head to bite at Jamie’s earlobe. It’s a bed Jamie made three nights ago, kissing her senseless and promising the unkeepable promise: that they’ll be able to do this together, that they’ll be able to unwind the hold the Lady has on her through force of sheer combined will. It’s insane to think about. It’s insane to even consider. You can’t exorcise a demon through sex. 

“And yet,” Jamie says in a raw voice, head thrown back, hands clutching at Dani’s shirt, “I can’t find it in myself to show proper remorse, with you doing that.”

Dani laughs against her skin, and it is unreal how solid she feels with Jamie in her arms. There was peace in their life before, peace and passion and the kind of love that seems only to expand with the stars, but this is different. This is a feeling of being filled-in, of color spreading up through the outline of her life in layers. This is...

Deciding to fight, Dani realizes, as Jamie’s mouth takes hers, Jamie’s hands sliding up under her shirt to explore. Deciding to fight and maybe even beat her at her own game. 

“If this works,” she says, the words half a moan when Jamie’s hand works open the clasp of her bra. “If this works, you’re going to be insufferable, aren’t you?”

“More attractive, you mean,” Jamie sighs. Her shirt is half-unbuttoned. Jamie’s hips are searching for contact, rocking lightly, trying to coax Dani into touching her. “Okay, hey, you started this--” “You started it,” Dani replies, “when you rubbed up against me for like two straight minutes out front.”

“I was adjusting the racks.”

“Reaching around me to do it?”

“You happened to be in the way.”

They’re both laughing, kissing around the smiles, Dani holding Jamie steady to keep her from taking control. It makes Jamie crazy when she does this, she knows; they’re both of a similar mind on taking the lead, two people who spent their lives trying desperately to set their own pace in the world, and who have since learned to fall into step with one another. Jamie laughingly refers to it as “mutual big spoon energy”, how neither of them is particularly good at letting the other take the lead or fall behind. They spend much of their life walking side by side, in perfect tandem. It’s unlike anything Dani has ever been a part of before.

Which makes moments like this--grabbing Jamie’s wrists, pinning them above her head with one hand, forcing her to lean back and let Dani steer--all the more delicious. It is, in a way, the only time Dani feels entirely in control of her life. Moments like this, with Jamie making a strange little growling sound at the back of her throat, with Jamie trying to buck against the hand that is leisurely working its way down her body, feel so steady. 

“If you’re going to be a tease,” Jamie begins, and Dani kisses her hard enough to elicit a whimper. Jamie, who pretends she doesn’t love it, seems to go boneless between her body and the door. Her fingers flex above her head, her voice panting out of her when Dani slips a thigh between her legs and presses up. 

She lets Jamie shift her weight, lets her join in at a slow pace, until they’re moving more or less in perfect sync. Jamie’s head rocks back against the door, and Dani releases her hands to cup behind her skull, fingers digging into thick hair and keeping her from doing actual damage. 

She’s not thinking about ghosts or promises or anything except the rhythm they’ve set between them, riding out the pressure of Jamie against her until she’s shuddering and gasping into Jamie’s throat. She’s not thinking about ticking clocks or how much time anyone can possibly expect, not with the unbound way Jamie grips her hips and pulls, pulls, pulls her harder against Jamie’s bucking. 

“Remind me,” Jamie pants, eyes rolling back in her head as she struggles to find breath, “never to hire additional help. Having this room to ourselves is the best investment we’ve ever made.”

***

It doesn’t banish the Lady in the first week, and Dani is trying desperately not to be disappointed. It wasn’t likely--it isn’t likely to work at all, she reminds herself--to get the job done right away. This isn’t the same kind of possession, not the same kind of ghost, and if there's one thing her too-real dreams have taught her about Viola Lloyd, it’s that the woman was designed stubborn. 

Still, the first time she turns around and catches a smooth-faced glimpse in the bathroom mirror, all the strength goes out of her legs. 

“What?” Jamie asks, summoned by the high-pitched intake of air Dani hadn’t realized she’d made. She’s half-dressed for a day of not much of anything, cropped shirt and underwear and a bewildered expression. Dani leans her weight against the counter, covering her eyes with one hand. 

“Nothing. Just--”

“Her?” Jamie slides into the space beside her, peering into the glass. She tries so hard, Dani thinks with a stab of frustrated gratitude. She tries so hard to see what Dani can’t look away from, and all she ever comes up with is that hard, searching look going nowhere. 

“It’s silly. It was silly to think--”

“Hey,” Jamie says, catching her with a soft grip around the shoulders. “I know you’re not giving up so easy. We’ve only been trying for a couple of days.”

Dani can’t help the shaky laugh that puffs out against Jamie’s cheek when she pulls her in for a hug. “You sound like a husband reassuring his wife that there’s still time to make a baby.”

Jamie makes a perturbed noise. “I cannot think of a less appropriate analogy for our situation than a little monster coming into our world--”

Dani smacks her chest, still laughing. “So you’re saying no kids, then?”

A very specific sort of paleness seeps into Jamie’s already-fair skin. “Wait, d’you want--’cuz we’ve never talked about--how we’d even--”

“I’m kidding,” Dani says quickly, unable to commit to the cruelty of letting this particular joke linger. Of all she’s thought about in her time with Jamie, of all the mad, wonderful ideas that have sparked off at odd hours of the night, children are not one of them. Kids are complicated at the best of times, and she loves them--loves being able to listen, and help, and teach them to be the kinds of adults the world needs--but they can’t even get married. Can’t even walk in public hand in hand, like she so desperately needs sometimes. Kids are so far off her radar, it’s surprising they’ve come up at all.

Jamie, for her part, looks relieved. “I love you,” she says. “So much. But thank Christ for that, because can you imagine me raising a kid?”

“Yes,” Dani says honestly, remembering in perfect tandem Jamie’s meltdown over tattered flowers and Jamie’s strong arms lifting a sleeping Flora into the air. She’d be good at it, in her own way, if it was something they both wanted--but it feels better this way. Just the two of them. Just the two of them, and...

“So she’s still in there,” Jamie says, switching subjects with obvious relief. Her finger presses very gently to the center of Dani’s forehead. “Took you by a bit of a shock, I take it.”

Dani sighs. “I just...hoped it’d be...”

“Quick and dirty?” Jamie wiggles her eyebrows. Her hands are sliding around to rest on the back of Dani’s skirt, giving a gentle squeeze that makes Dani jump. 

“It was with him,” she says, trying to keep her composure. Jamie’s eyebrows rise even higher, and she flushes. “No, I--the banishment, I mean. Just one night. That’s all it took.”

“Maybe I’m losing my touch,” Jamie muses. She leans in, brushes her mouth against the corner of Dani’s frown. “Maybe I’m just not working hard enough...”

“I don’t--think that’s--” It’s hard to think at all, hard to keep the words in her head, with Jamie kissing a slow path: cheekbone, underside of her jaw, hollow of her throat. Her back to the mirror, Dani closes her eyes. “Jamie, aren’t we going to be late for something?”

“Movies come,” Jamie says in a low, careless voice, “and movies go. We can catch a late showing...”

She’s sinking lower, one hand resting on the small of Dani’s back, nipping gently through the fabric of a thin t-shirt. Dani sighs, letting her hands drop to rest on the counter for balance as Jamie drops to her knees, kissing along her belly, her hips, teasing the skirt up and ducking her head beneath its hem. 

That they don’t even have to talk about it, Dani thinks distantly, white-knuckling the counter as Jamie moves in along her thighs with soft bites soothed instantly by hot licks. That they don’t even have to have these conversations most days, is a wonder. She can feel it in the air when Jamie’s in the mood, can read it on every line of her body when she isn’t. The are you sure’s are still there, resting comfortably between them, but it’s like a dance they’ve choreographed together by now. 

She inhales as Jamie presses a kiss between her legs, as a soft tongue moves against the damp fabric of underwear she hasn’t gotten around to removing just yet, and there’s nothing in the world she wouldn’t give up to keep hold of this. Nothing in the world she wouldn’t sell, burn, barter away if it meant more days with Jamie, more of Jamie on her knees on the bathroom rug with hands cradling the backs of her thighs and soft groans vibrating up through her skin. 

She lets her head fall back, lets her hips go as Jamie eases away the last boundary between them, and just concentrates on riding higher, higher, far away from a world where memory can burn and surprises hide behind innocent reflections. When Jamie slides tongue into heat, she jerks once, twice, releases everything. 

“Maybe,” Jamie says, leaning back on her haunches and wiping the back of her hand across her lips. “Maybe that did the trick.”

Dani laughs, but can’t quite convince herself to look over her shoulder. It’s too good, too nice, too perfect letting the weakness of her knees carry her to the floor where she straddles Jamie’s hips and kisses her. No point ruining it by looking back. 

***

Days pass without a sign of the Lady, and Dani finds herself initiating contact more and more, hands searching Jamie out at all hours. Sometimes, she’ll just come up behind Jamie in the kitchen, arms around Jamie’s middle, and stay there while Jamie chops and preps and boils water. Sometimes, she’ll find Jamie reading on the couch and slide between her and the back cushions, head on Jamie’s chest, letting the slow rum-pum of her heart lull her into a daze. It’s everything with Jamie that makes the world a stable place, she thinks, every inch of Jamie’s calm nature, Jamie’s bad jokes, Jamie’s kiss on her temple as she passes on the way to the bathroom. 

When Jamie has to leave for a weekend conference, a one-person-ticket event they’d decided months ago would be best suited if the person who actually understood the ins and outs of growing plants attended, Dani feels like she’s walking through a dream. She sits on the edge of their bed, watching Jamie hold a series of nearly-identical jeans and flannel shirts up to her body and discard them onto a nearby chair. 

“You’re sure?” Jamie asks for the fiftieth time that day. “You’re sure you’re all right with me going?”

“Yes,” Dani’s mouth answers automatically. No, she thinks. Every time, the same response. 

“Only, I don’t have to,” Jamie presses, looking over her shoulder. “I could call out sick--”

“It’s the best chance we have of the sale prices,” Dani says, like reading a script she’s been going over for a year. “And you said it yourself, networking is everything for a small business in its infancy...”

“That was early days,” Jamie protests, abandoning a shirt and crossing to the bed. “We’ve done all right for ourselves since, and I could...”

Dani wraps arms around her waist, leaning her face against Jamie’s shirtfront and sighing. “I’d be lying if I said I was excited about a weekend alone,” she says. Jamie’s hands rest on the back of her head, sifting through her ponytail in soft, easy strokes. It’s almost enough to lull her to sleep sitting up. 

“I’m just...what if...” Jamie stops herself short. Dani looks up, mouth twisting in a parody of a smile. 

“What if the Lady comes while you’re away?”

“I don’t like it,” Jamie says. “I don’t like risking it. You’ve seemed better lately, less...”

“Flinchy?” Dani suggests, suddenly bone-tired. “She hasn’t been sneaking up as much.”

“Right. But isn’t that because--”

“We don’t know what causes it,” Dani says, trying to convince them both with a single shot. “We don’t know if she’s been absent because of dumb luck, or because she doesn't feel like coming out to play, or because--”

“Or because it’s my bloody presence helping scare her off,” Jamie says, so fiercely, Dani reaches up to press a hand to her heart. Her face is set in perfect determination, and Dani thinks with certainty that this has ceased to be a joke in Jamie’s mind, a game to help keep Dani’s off of the fear. She believes, on some level, that she’s been doing actual good for Dani’s fight with the beast in the jungle, that it’s her hands and her mouth and her steadiness that’s kept Dani safe--safer--these past weeks. 

Dani can’t say for sure that she’s wrong, if she’s honest with herself. The Lady is still there; she can feel her, lurking, watching. But it’s getting...different. Maybe because Dani just feels better, and when her head is clear, when the sun is out, when Jamie’s hands are on her skin, it’s easy to convince herself that only children get scared of the dark. 

Maybe. Or maybe there really is something to be said about this battle of wills. Of the Lady’s need coming up against Dani’s own hungers. 

“I don’t want you to go,” she says, and is pleasantly surprised at how firm her voice is. She pulls at Jamie, guiding her down until they’re laying face to face atop the blankets. She wraps a leg around Jamie, pulls her closer, kisses her gently until the line between Jamie’s brows smooths out. 

“So, it’s settled, then,” Jamie breathes against her lips. “I’ll just ring ‘em up and--”

“I don’t want you to go,” Dani repeats, hand smoothly working the button of Jamie’s jeans open. She kisses her again, open and warm, letting her tongue curl around Jamie’s sigh, and adds, “But I’ll be all right. For two days. Two days missing you. Imagine what that’ll do...”

She likes the way Jamie folds into her, the way Jamie’s skin flushes beneath the tips of her fingers as she slides a hand down and curls gently against damp heat. She moves, fingers rubbing circles that make Jamie squirm and writhe and reach down to clasp her around the wrist. 

“You’ll go,” she says softly against Jamie’s lips, the words half-muffled and entirely unimportant, as Jamie holds her wrist and guides her deeper. “And I’ll be here. Thinking about you getting back. It’s you that keeps me grounded, Jamie, but it’s this, too. The wanting.”

Jamie makes a noise, small, like she’s trying to contain herself. Dani doesn’t think she’s even arguing anymore, not really. 

“It was like that,” she says, letting the words turn into a groan when Jamie clenches around her. “That night. It was the wanting of you. Of being with you, of being happy with you. It was wanting to let it all go so I could taste this. What being happy really was.”

There’s only so much room, Jamie’s jeans too tight, but she can move enough to twist her fingers, to press her thumb down as she thrusts in, out, in. Jamie kisses her with no grace whatsoever, presses until her forehead is flush with Dani’s, sweat beading on her skin as she tips over on Dani’s command. 

“You’re sure,” Jamie says, when she’s recovered herself enough to speak. “You’re really sure?”

No, she isn’t sure. Dani hasn’t been sure of anything regarding her unwanted anchor, not since taking the Lady in that night. But she feels...something in her chest, something solid and more certain than she’s used to, nodding in agreement all the same. 

She kisses Jamie, lets Jamie take her hand and kiss each finger clean, lets Jamie roll her over and clear away the clothes and the cobwebs of worry in practiced motions. With Jamie pulling the sheets over them, she feels safer than anywhere else in the world. 

“Just come home to me,” she breathes when Jamie touches her. “Just promise you’ll always come home.”

***

Jamie, of course, keeps that promise. Jamie, for someone who doesn’t like to make many, keeps promises better than anyone Dani’s ever met. She calls when she makes it to the hotel Friday afternoon, calls again each night after the conference lets out, sits on the phone until Dani falls asleep. 

The rest of the weekend feels foggy to Dani, like someone has wrapped their apartment in a thin gray smoke. She tries to keep busy, but her attention is variable at best; a book, a puzzle, a movie can only hold her for patches of minutes at a time until she bounces to her feet and goes off in search of the next distraction.

She spends all of Saturday on old habits, keeping her head resolutely turned away from the mirror whenever she needs the bathroom, refusing to give the Lady the satisfaction of a glance. 

Sunday, the restless energy pools until she can’t stand it anymore. She takes a long walk in the summer heat, humidity pulling at her clothes, the sun baking itself into her hair. She wishes Jamie were there, pointing out dogs and laughing at kids. 

Sweat soaks into her clothes, and she heads straight for a shower upon returning home. Her eyes fixate on the towel, the clean pajamas piled on the counter, the row of neat bottles on the shower rack. She lets the water heat until the room is bathed in steam, and then, only then, does she turn to the mirror. 

Blonde hair, serious frown, one blue eye, one brown, staring back at her. What Jamie sees whenever she joins Dani at the mirror, and nothing else. Nothing more. She leans her weight on her elbows, staring her own reflection down. She keeps expecting something to jump out at her--a perfectly smooth face, dark hair stringy around a white nightgown--but, no. 

Here’s Dani Clayton, she thinks with a rebellious little laugh. She’s a bit of a weirdo, but she’s a lot stronger than she thinks. 

Jamie knew her so well, even then. Jamie, seeing straight to the heart of the matter without even being asked to look. Jamie has always been so good that way, so capable of reading Dani at the most unexpected moments. Eddie wasn’t like that. Eddie’s mother, her own mother, her old friends--they were all missing whatever critical piece Jamie’s puzzle contains. The one that lets a person look and actually see: not what is wanted, but what is there. 

She steps under the spray, shivering a little at the heat on clammy skin, and thinks, Maybe someday. Maybe someday I’ll take cold showers in July, because it won’t be a matter of fogging up the mirror before I’m safe being naked and alone. Maybe someday. 

It’s more than she’s allowed herself to hope in years. Maybe she’s crazy even to think it; maybe it’s just testing the gods, the universe, the beast in the jungle. Here kitty kitty, come out and see if you can take a bite. 

She presses her forehead to the tile wall, swaying a little, wishing Jamie were here. Wishing Jamie were sliding back the curtain, stepping into the tub, too giddy at the idea of seeing her even to wait the half hour for her to leave the bathroom. 

She wishes, and still, when hands slide around her from behind, it’s all she can do not to break Jamie’s nose with a terrified headbutt.

“Fuck,” Jamie gasps, ducking aside in the nick of time. “All right, Poppins, fair enough. Guessing you didn’t hear my merry hellos.”

Her heart is a ricochet, bounding around her ribs in time with her gasping breaths. The hands are Jamie’s--Jamie in a black t-shirt with the sleeves rolled, Jamie in shorts and a somewhat embarrassed expression--but for a moment, Dani was back at the sink in the Bly kitchen, feeling the starbursts of lust and newly-born excitement come up against the guilt of phantom gloves. 

“Next time,” Jamie says, “I will yodel.”

“Next time,” Dani agrees breathlessly, leaning back into her arms and trying not to cry and laugh at the same time as she returns to earth. “You are--”

“Home early,” Jamie supplies, kissing the curve of her shoulder. “Couldn’t stand another minute of those buttoned-up stiffs. You know how long they talked about tax benefits and profit margins? Hardly any of ‘em had touched real soil in years, I’d wager.”

“You are fully dressed,” Dani points out. Jamie pauses, looking down at herself in a dripping shirt and shorts that are going to be nearly impossible to wriggle free of. The car keys are still in her hip pocket. She reaches down, flings them out toward the counter. 

“Right. Didn’t think this through.”

Dani laughs, a mouthful of water nearly choking her, and leans her head back to nuzzle into Jamie’s neck. “You’re wonderful. And a mess.”

“Well,” Jamie says slyly. “If I’m already wet, I mean...what’s to be done, but lean into it?”

Dani can’t fault her this logic, and suddenly the laughter is turning into a very different sort of sound as one hand splays across her belly, the other easing sopping hair aside to kiss her neck with deliberate care. She lets herself lean back, the heat and the pressure of the water creating a perfect little pocket far away from the world. When Jamie cups between her legs, hips rocking gently against her from behind as she builds slow friction with nimble fingers, she wonders if maybe she’s dreaming. If maybe the strength of will has peaked and allowed the dream to spill over into reality. 

Or else maybe she’s summoned Jamie, summoned her with that restless desperate need she never quite understood before Jamie walked into her life. Either way, she presses a hand flat against the tile, breathing in steam, the world around her reducing to Jamie’s hands, Jamie sucking a soft red mark into the curve of her neck, Jamie breathing heavily against her ear, I love you, I’m home, Dani, I’m here. 

After, she lathers shampoo into her hands and washes Dani’s hair, talking merrily of foolish conventions and more foolish old men, and Dani thinks she’s never been so relaxed in her entire life. Even with the water shut off and a towel around her body, watching Jamie struggle to peel out of dripping layers, she feels good. Her eyes dart to the mirror only once, in time to watch Jamie’s swearing reflection hop in a circle as she fails to remove a sock and nearly topples over. 

There is only her. Only her, and Jamie, and this life she would kill to keep. 

***

The weeks become months, the months become years, and the Lady--the Lady is a memory more than anything else. Dani thinks she’s still in there, somewhere. Thinks this kind of ghost requires a kind of exorcism she doesn’t know how to perform. That maybe the invitation was different enough to ensure no take-backs, no pushing her back out again into that cold night and locking the door behind her. 

But she also thinks maybe Jamie was right, sitting on their bed that night with nervous hope in her eyes. Maybe an invitation, once made, can at least be amended. Maybe an unerring will, when contested with equal strength, can be placated. 

The sex ebbs and flows, as it will, but Dani finds her need for Jamie never diminishes. She never feels as though her day is complete unless she’s held Jamie’s hand, counting the callouses beneath her fingers, feeling the warmth beneath the swipe of her thumb. Some days, they spend hours on the couch, Dani wrapped around Jamie like a human blanket, talking and dozing and laughing, and Dani thinks, I almost missed this. I almost got too lost to know it. 

There are still bad days. Days where she looks furtively into standing water and thinks maybe she sees a shadow, an inkling, a seed. On those days, she walks straight to Jamie, and Jamie--who has always seen only her, who knows her so well she could tell their whole story without Dani’s help--holds her close. Rains kisses up and down her skin, grasps her face between hands that have her memorized, looks her in the eyes. 

“Still here, Poppins. Still here.”

“Yes,” she gasps on those days, and feels herself solidify a little more. She’s older now than she ever thought she’d get to see. Older, and maybe not as much of it shows on her face--Jamie’s getting these surprisingly-sexy lines around her mouth and eyes, a little more each year, and Dani can’t kiss them enough, can’t wind her hands hard enough into silver-threaded hair--but she feels it. Feels the years curling up upon themselves like the rings of a tree. Feels a little steadier, with every one she puts behind her, like an admonishment of cruel gods. Still here, she thinks with a savage kind of pride. Still here, and still here, and still her. Dani Clayton. Bit of a weirdo, stronger than she thinks, and so fucking in love with Jamie I could burst. 

“Do you think we’ll ever manage it?” Jamie asks one day, the pair of them lazy in bed though the Saturday sun has been brightening the room for hours. Dani’s head rests on her chest, Dani’s fingers playing with the waistband of her underwear. It’s a good day, a good, simple morning. Nothing pressing on the horizon. They could stay here all day. 

“Manage what?” she asks, when Jamie gives her a gentle shake as if to say wake up and pay attention to me. Her hand sneaks down a little lower, toying with soft skin. Jamie inhales slowly. 

“You are a menace. Do you think we’re ever going to be rid of her? Your beast in the jungle?”

Dani traces tiny shapes into Jamie’s skin, watching her hand disappear under cotton, watching the way Jamie’s hips jump a little when she scratches gentle circles and triangles and flower petals with blunt nails. “I don’t know.”

“You still see her?” Jamie’s lip is between her teeth, her eyes fluttering as Dani presses herself against her thigh and grinds gently. Not in a rush. Just meandering along, enjoying herself, enjoying the way Jamie still feels so alive under her hands. 

“Sometimes,” she admits. It doesn’t scare her the way it used to. It’s different now. It’s there, and it’s frustrating, but it doesn’t feel like something rising from the depths to pull her under. It feels, almost, as though after so many years of fighting Dani’s hunger for life, for Jamie, the beast, too, is tired. 

“But you’re--” Jamie swallows, a low moan passing her lips as Dani finally touches her properly. Slow, languid, she slides her fingers in and cherishes the way Jamie moves to accommodate and accept. 

“I’m what?”

“Happy,” Jamie groans. “With me. With us. You’re happy?”

Dani rolls over, watching Jamie’s brow crease with the loss of her hand. She smiles, sliding down the bed, kissing breast, belly, mapping all the little lines and scars and markers of a life lived well with her tongue. 

“Happy,” she agrees. “Very.”

There are rings on their fingers now, as she reaches up Jamie’s body without looking to tangle their hands. Rings that meant something when she bought them, meant more when they signed a piece of paper, will finally mean the same to everyone else when they stand up in front of friends and family in a few months and repeat those vows. There are rings, and there is laughter, and there are conversations in the dark and tears on a Wednesday and bad coffee and ghosts. Always ghosts. 

Maybe some things can’t be banished completely. Maybe some ghosts are more solid than others. 

As Jamie moves beneath her, coming apart under her lips, she thinks that part doesn’t matter so much. The Lady won’t be taking her. Not this time. 

She wants Jamie--wants this life for as long as she can possibly have it--more than any ghost could want her. If she knows nothing else, with Jamie on her tongue, Jamie’s kiss on her skin, Jamie’s ring on her finger, she can say that much for a certainty. 

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch6 it’s go time

excitable bby carson is so cute I love that kid

Dani uuuhhh being so in tune w Jamie always is so lovely. and Jamie almost being a bit scared of accepting her kindness when she’s truly hurting is so interesting like I think Dani really is her person but she still can’t fully let down all her walls around her. or tbh probably doesn’t have the emotional capacity to understand how she’s feeling and communicate that properly gah someone pls give her unending emotional support she makes my heart hurt so much

“There was an odd expression on her face that Dani couldn’t place” that’s love babey (i feel like there are a lot of moments like this lol I love seeing this all from Dani’s POV)

oof Dani trying to figure out where she’d ‘misstepped’ bc of a look Karen gave her god she doesn’t deserve this

the way she can make Dani have a fucking panic attack just by being near her ummmmmm I hate her. like i can’t even comment on this bit bc I’m mostly just trying to read it really fast and not reflect too hard

ah sweet Jamie

hmmmm is this the moment Dani falls in love with Jamie please it’s so sweet and casual and literally just Jamie being herself and caring about Dani with her whole heart. no wonder. also the contrast of this with her realising as an adult is beautiful. Dani u poor  little confused gay angel

the dirty paperback a staple of all good plotlines

dsfjhdfkjghkjfh when Dani straddles her and Jamie just fucking freezes oh my god this part makes me laugh so much you poor little lesbian

““As you wish,” Jamie said softly.” oh god oh no not the princess bride rn this whole bit is too soft

“Twenty-four hours alone with Jamie in her house, and it was like Dani had suddenly forgotten what the emptiness of it felt like.” oof just. Jamie is her home I can’t even think about that concept too hard it is too beautiful and all-encompassing

Milkshake Monday is so cute I’m gonna make a milkshake on Monday in honour of the O’Mara/Clayton/Taylor gang

Eddie’s “he rested his hand oddly on the ground between them, his palm up and hands loose“ is giving me flashbacks to the only date I ever went on with a man  please not this move

aww poor Jamie is jealous (and probably very sadly realising she will never get to be where Eddie is with the handholding and blossoming relationship ouch) (this is also giving me flashbacks stop living inside my brain)

oh my god Jamie sprinting away from David w the paperback i’m dying

aww lil D&D bebes

dfgdjfh “I cast: slap you in the face.” i think he has some points

Eddie and his endless sheets of notes and plans is actually super cute.

Carson wanting to be evil there is somethin to be said abt queer-coded villians and that is that I love them and the gravitational forces they apply to baby gays

god the sibling banter in this is so perfect this is exactly how this wld have gone down w me n my siblings

lmao eddie really is in his element this is so good

god Jamie just... so anxiously awaiting for the only source of stability she’s ever had in her life to return I am emotional

teeny baby mikey. Jamie’s parents are the fucking worst for the ways they treated their kids but I’m so glad Nan can be here for them

why is... jamie so upset?? is this like. it kinda puts the nail in the coffin of the idea of her family being whole again?? is it just because Jamie wasn’t told what’s happening and she feels out of control?? let me see inside ur brain jamie u poor confused angry little bird

ugh now I am thinking about the idea of family and building ur own and getting to choose the people that mean the most to you and it sucks that for some people the families they were born into can’t be that and this is too much for a Sunday afternoon

oh she’s upset by the change of it all (tho like... that’s probably just the easiest part to talk about rn I’m sure it’s a lot of complicated emotions)

the foreshadowing of “I’ll be the one to take care of him”

"She isn't going to just up and leave you alone with a baby, Jamie." genuinely too fragile for this rn

fuck i can just picture extremely sullen teenage Jamie with feelings too big to process properly trying to just survive and sweet understanding Dani giving her a really gentle place to kind of... reflect a bit and work through them. I am. also having feelings too big to process properly. i love that Nan knows Dani is this for her too and probably sent her after her for that exact reason

hhhmnngfhgh washing her hands for her the intricate rituals of it all

“Can just call him ‘Bawbag’ and be done with it.” jesus christ Jamie sdkjfhdkjdghk I am wheezing

Dani giving Mikey the nickname literally means everything to meeeeeeee

Dani picking up pamphlets for Ed and Jamie too is so cute

lmao Dani is like. a boy??? asking me to homecoming???? panic time

Roger’s lil crush on Jamie is so funny bro ur barking up the wrong tree... in the wrong forest... in the wrong hemisphere... lost in space somewhere

Jamie getting to grow her own flowers is so wonderful and Dani recognising this is where she’s the most fulfilled is so lovely (and I finally know where the pressed morning glory from the box is yus)

god Karen is so relentlessly mean to Dani why are u like this

Jesus christ the thought of Dani asking Nan what sodomy is. the heartattack she wld have

woof this like subtle ‘you’ll never be accepted bc it’s just not right’ vibe from Karen in this whole conversation w Judy this is tooooo familiar. no wonder she just keeps repressing it all (should i be using this fic to process my own life probably not)

Jamie taking them to an outdoor picture theatre because Dani mentioned wanting to go one time ow my heart. this is basically their first date no?? flip that’s cute. oh god a horror movie tho sdkjfhdjf Jamie

i think there’s such an interesting thing of Dani and Jamie just... falling into each other in this really uneventful way and their whole relationship being this really full thing without a big realisation of ‘this is what love/romance is’ and is probably half the reason Dani isn’t really able to name it as that?? like i love it and i think it’s so sweet but I wonder if Jamie was ever able to actually say something if that would have finally tipped her tiny lil repressed brain over into realisation???

this whole bit is so sweetly innocent I love it

another day 3 days another emotional rollercoaster of a chapter gbless

[em-neko]

KISSED BY THE BADDEST BIDDER MAIN ROUTE REVIEW

hey! so i just finished watching kaylaslovely on youtube’s review of the main five (+ rhion) bidders routes and so i thought i would make my own review, because i felt like it. so here you go!

i will be reviewing all nine main routes, or main stories. each story will be rated using these five categories: plot, pace, romance, mc (since she’s different in every story) and love interest. at the end, i’ll give the story its final rating and i’ll let you know whether i recommend it or not.

i will try not to include any spoilers, but just in case, consider this your spoiler warning!

remember, these are my personal opinions.

summary: you are a maid at a hotel called the tres spade hotel, owned by the ichinomiya group. one day, you get dragged into the ivc (an exclusive party for the elite, held inside the hotel) and you basically get lost. while you’re wandering around the area, you enter a storage room where a lot of expensive items are held. little did you know, those items belonged to a blackmarket auction, the ivc was only a cover for said auction. being the clumsy queen that you are, you manage to bump into the statue of venus and knock it over. when the men responsible for the expensive items find you, they throw you into a giant birdcage and put you up for auction instead of the statue.

from here, you can pick one of the main five love interest (eisuke, soryu, mitsunari, mamoru and ota) to buy you. the other love interest (except for rhion) only appear in the second/third season, they purchase you from eisuke (presuming eisuke bought you but you never fell in love). rhion is part of an “au”, but his story technically takes place in season one. does that make sense? okay, perfect. now, on to the review!

EISUKE ICHINOMIYA: THE ARROGANT CEO

plot: 8/10, the plot is a cliche and fairly overused trope... but i love it. it’s well executed and feels unique and original, even though the core of the plot really isn’t.

pace: 8/10, in my opinion, i think the pace was very good. it wasn’t too slow or too fast (although it leaned on the slower side) and i feel like mc fell in love with eisuke at an appropriate time in the story. the ending felt slightly rushed but i feel like that’s a common theme with love 365 stories.

romance: 7/10, not as romantic as other routes (i mean, it’s eisuke we’re talking about), especially at the beginning, but there were moments that made me smile.

mc: 6/10, she’s definitely a bit of a pushover in this route. i wish she stood up to eisuke more, i wish she was sassier, it would’ve made the story sooo much funnier!

love interest: 7/10, eisuke’s kind of a jerk in this story, but hey at least he’s entertaining? (he has his cute moments tho)

final score: 72% (b-)

recommendation: sure? to be honest, it was pretty okay, a little boring compared to the other routes but for the low low price of literally 0$ (his main route is free), it’s not bad.

SORYU OH: THE COLD MOBSTER

plot: 9/10, i really liked his plot! i’ll admit, i’m not a fan of gang related stories, in fact, i usually hate them, but soryu’s story genuinely surprised me! i especially loved the fact that mc made a female friend along the way, usually other females in stories are seen as rivals (as in eisuke’s case), but it wasn’t the case here and that made me really happy. we support women in his household <3

pace: 7/10, the ending was really rushed in my opinion, like way more rushed than the usual rushed love 365 ending. when it ended i was like, “are you serious?” it just felt abrupt. the rest was fine tho.

romance: 8/10, the romance was subtle (due to soryu’s cold and mysterious demeanor), but you could definitely feel it. there was sooo much chemistry between the characters, so it felt really romantic.

mc: 8/10, she’s a little boring, but at least she’s relatable, like her actions/choices make sense in this story.

love interest: 9/10, c’mon, who doesn’t love soryu? there’s a reason why the whole fandom simps for this man. he’s the perfect mix of cold and innocent, and his reaction to regular people things (like going to the supermarket) is hilarious! he’s really sweet too and you can tell that he really cares for mc.

final score: 82% (a-)

recommendation: yes! even if you don’t like gang related stories, i’d still give his route a chance.

MITSUNARI BABA: THE WOMANIZING THIEF

plot: 9/10, i really loved the plot. it’s basically a romcom with action and criminal activity, it’s gold.

pace: 8/10, there were some parts that felt rushed, but overall i think the pace was fine.

romance: 10/10, the most romantic story of them all (i don’t expect any less from baba). their interactions are so cute and i loved watching them get closer and more comfortable with each other.

mc: 8/10, even though she’s kind of dumb, it works because this story is more comedic, her naivety and trusting nature helped the plot advance rather than disrupting it. she’s also really sassy in this story, i loved watching her shoot down baba!

love interest: 9/10, i love baba! i love the womanizer character trope, i know it’s an unpopular opinion but i still love it. he’s actually a total dork and he has the best lines, i smiled throughout the whole story!

final score: 88% (a)

recommendation: it’s one of my favorite main stories, so i definitely recommend it! however, if you don’t like romcoms or womanizers, you’ll probably hate this story lol

MAMORU KISHI: THE SLACKER DETECTIVE

plot: 8/10, his plot is intense. it’s action packed, there’s twists and turns and it definitely kept me on my toes. however, it is a little hard to keep up with at times, i definitely had moments where i got lost.

pace: 8/10, like mitsunari’s story, the pace was a little inconsistent, there were times when scenes felt rushed, idk if it was on purpose because it was a more “action-y” story, but even some of the “romantic” moments felt rushed.. which was a shame because there weren’t many.

romance: 7/10, it wasn’t very romantic, honestly. they had their cute moments, but they were rare. they have good chemistry, like the best friends you hardcore ship, but there just wasn’t much actual romance. i would compare their relationship to judy and nick in zootopia, like friends but a little more.

mc: 5/10, the mc actually bites back in this story, which is refreshing. however, she nags mamoru a lot, and i got sick of it really fast, to the point where i’d roll my eyes whenever she opened her mouth towards the end of the story. she acts like mamoru is a child incapable of taking care of himself, yet she gets angry when he calls her “kid” or treats her like one? wtf? ALSO, one third of the story is her being jealous of a dead person, which is literally so unreasonable and illogical. i could rant about her all day i swear.

love interest: 9/10, mamoru is so relatable, it’s not even funny. i love the way he speaks and i love the way he reacts in situations. he acts like he doesn’t care, but you know damn well the man cares more about mc than anyone else. he’s also surprisingly patient (which, few bidders are), as i said, the mc is really immature in this story, and even tho he acts annoyed, he never actually gets angry at her. there’s something really cozy about him.

final score: 74% (b)

recommendation: if you like action packed stories, i would recommend this story! with that being said, the mc really ruined it for me.

OTA KISAKI: THE DECEPTIVE ARTIST

plot: 5/10, it was too predictable. literally three chapters in i was like, “oh, i see where this is going” and sadly i was right! it was really dramatic, which i actually enjoyed, but the overly predictable plot ruined it for me.

pace: 7/10, the pace was fine, however i feel like mc realized she was in love with ota at the wrong time. i wished they would’ve picked a different moment (maybe later) in the story to make her realize she’s in love with him, or just change the scene completely. because it was like one moment she just saw him as her buyer and at the snap of a finger she’s in love with him, like what?

romance: 5/10, there was literally one romantic scene in the whole story. there were some other cute moments but they were completely overshadowed by ota’s attitude. also, the whole dog fetish really turned me off, especially because the mc was clearly uncomfortable with it.

mc: 7/10, i feel bad for her. she’s really submissive and shy in this story, but like it makes sense (i would act the same as her tbh, i’d be too weirded out to give any sass), so she gets a pass.

love interest: 4/10, ota is so unlikeable in the first season omg i’d almost forgotten how much i used to hate him. however, he becomes really sweet after season 3, you just have to suffer through the first seasons lmao

final score: 56% (d)

recommendation: i really like ota but that story was not it. i wouldn’t waste my coins, honestly. if you really wanna read ota, read one of his substories or any story after season 3, don’t bother with his main route. however, his cg’s were one of the prettiest, so hooray?

SHUICHI HISHIKURA: THE ALOOF POLITICIAN

plot: 8/10, i liked this plot. it felt more serious than the other stories, but that wasn’t a bad thing.

pace: 7/10, same problem as soryu’s story, the last chapters were hella rushed and it made the falling action pretty confusing.

romance: 7/10, it wasn’t very “romantic”, but there were definitely scenes were you could really feel the attraction between the two. i find they compliment each other well.

mc: 8/10, this story was not meant to be a comedy, but the mc made it one. she’s so stupid that it’s actually hilarious, i honestly couldn’t stop laughing at her cluelessness. usually i’d find stupidity annoying, but in this story, i loved it. it made the heavy storyline easier to digest.

love interest: 9/10, shuichi’s a vengeful bitch, which makes his soft moments that much cuter. i like how he has his quirks, and how he has a professional stoic side as well as a soft caring side.

final score: 78% (b+)

recommendation: yeah, for sure. however, if you don’t enjoy the stoic stern hard-to-read type, you might not enjoy this story.

HIKARU AIHARA: THE MYSTERIOUS HITMAN

plot: 9/10, i really enjoyed this plot. it was like a romcom mixed with a dark-ish drama, it was really unique.

pace: 8/10, the pace of the story was good, however i felt like there was a bit of repetition in the story, in scenes and in dialogue.

romance: 7/10, i absolutely love hikaru and mc’s bantering! i think they’re so cute and it’s just really funny to read. it’s subtlety romantic and you can definitely tell that they like each other. with that being said, hikaru’s treatment of mc at the beginning of the story really ticked me off.

mc: 9/10, okay, she had her annoying moments like she always does, but the mc is so funny in this story! she reminds me of the mc from our private homeroom. i really liked her.

love interest: 9/10, here’s the thing, if you don’t like tsundere’s... you’ll fucking hate hikaru, because he’s a tsundere to the max. i love tsundere’s sooo, yeah i loved him hihi. he’s fucking adorable and his dishonesty towards his feelings is really cute. he’s also a sad boy, which made me have a soft spot for him.

final score: 84% (a-)

recommendation: honestly, i did not enjoy this story the first time i read it. i think it was because i didn’t understand hikaru’s sense of humor at the beginning, so i thought he was just a dick and mc was an idiot for liking him, but when i reread it after reading a couple of hikaru’s substories, i actually liked it. so, if you like tsundere’s i’d definitely recommend this story, if not, steer clear.

LUKE FOSTER: THE GOOD DOCTOR

plot: 9/10, i liked it! it felt a lot sadder/darker than the other plots, but it wasn’t overly depressing. there were lighthearted moments throughout and i like how luke gave mc a job instead of using her for personal gain or pushing her around all day. it was also surprisingly intense, with a few steamier scenes here and there.

pace: 8/10, the pace was pretty good, but like hikaru’s route there were scenes that made me go “i feel like i’ve read this before...” there was a rhythm to the story, or at least that’s what it felt like.

romance: 8/10, this story was definitely more intense than romantic. they still had their cute moments though, especially towards the end.

mc: 6/10, the mc is so nosy, impatient and short tempered in this story omg. she’s so quick to judgement and she has no sympathy towards luke for like the first 11 episodes of the story which really bothered me. also, she didn’t seem to understand luke’s way of showing affection and it got a little frustrating. she’s just exceptionally bad at reading people.

love interest: 8/10. if you love sad sweet boys who are surprisingly hot, you’ll love him. his collarbone obsession might weird some people out, but i found it hilarious and it was the perfect way to balance such a sad story.

final score: 78% (b+)

recommendation: if you like sad yet cute stories, i think you’ll really like this one.

RHION HATTER: THE MAD AUCTIONEER

plot: 10/10, his plot is amazing! it’s so adorable, innocent and unique, all while somehow managing to make me a little emo. rhion’s also the only bidder (besides luke) who didn’t use mc for personal gain, he actually bought her for some sort of companionship which was really refreshing (wow, the bar is set low yikes).

pace: 9/10, the pace was really great, it’s a slow burn too, which i love, but the last couple of episodes felt a little rushed.

romance: 10/10, it’s probably as (or maybe even more) romantic than baba’s story. there are so many cute moments, even when mc and rhion don’t really know each other yet. the romance is really sweet and pure, but it feels so real.

mc: 9/10, i love how she interacts with rhion! she’s relatable in this story and her actions are sensible, she has a mind of her own and she isn’t afraid to speak it.

love interest: 9/10, it’s rhion. he’s so precious! his shy and sweet nature is such a nice change from the other bidders and i really love how he slowly opens up to mc. also i think his alter ego of the mad hatter is really cool!

final score: 94% (a+)

recommendation: it’s my favorite story on the app for a reason. i definitely recommend it, even if you’re more into the sexy stories, i still think you should give rhion’s main route a chance! i made my friend who isn’t even into otome games play it and she really liked it.

FINAL RATING: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

i’ll admit, trying to look past the human trafficking bs was really difficult at first, but if you can manage to turn a blind eye to it and try to remember that it’s just a video game and everything’s fictional, it’s pretty good. the love interests are great, there’s some action, there’s a some drama and there’s a lot of humor. the sub stories are really good too!

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hey! I am drunk on your amazing gifsets and your detailed answers ♡♡♡ I was wondering who you would cast in an american/english versiln of IPK and a Turkish one? (If you watch turkush dizi!) Thankyou!!

Oh this is a difficult ask! I don’t have much idea about american/English actors but I’ll try my best! Also, I don’t watch Turkish shows (sorry!) so I won’t be able to answer the second half. 

Honestly the reason why this is difficult is because they casted excellent actors in the original version. So I’m trying to find people who can emote as well as the original cast did. 

Also do check out @tellywoodtrash‘s list - she answered this question some time back :D She has Lakshmi, yes Lakshmi, perfectly casted so I'm not touching that! 

I hope you like the following set below! The actors I have chosen are based on their acting capabilities as opposed to looking similar to original IPK characters :)

Adam Driver as Arnav Singh Raizada

Why: This actor aces simmering rage, anger, fear, pain, cries, loss, sadness, love and his eyes speak volumes. He. Can. Stare. Arnav is one of my favorite characters because he’s so beautifully essayed by Barun - that man can layer expressions like no one else. So in my eyes, another actor I’ve been completely enamored with off late for the same reason is Adam Driver!

Ana de Armas as Khushi Kumari Gupta

Why: Knives Out. Firstly, I have actually watched very few American/English things and so far Ana struck me as an actress who can toggle between innocence, vulnerability, steadfastness, strength, joy and be an absolute sunshine! Sanaya was brilliant as Khushi and I can see Ana’s variety coming on as strengths. 

Also, just the below scenes struck me as Khushi during a downpour :)

Yep. Rabba Ve Khushi, with that barely there touch and eye lock.

John Krasinki as Akash Raizada

Why: If Akash’s role ever expanded, we might have gotten a character that was steadfast, a bit shy, someone with dry humor and an antitheses to his cousin. John certainly masters the role of a character who can give quiet quips that can steal a scene! Anyone with the last line?- It’s actually him. Remember Akash’s dialogue “Now who’s this woman who dented Arnav’s mind instead of his car?” Yup - if that Akash was expanded - this is who I see :)

P.S: I would TOTALLY have loved to see Akash’s perspective of his brother falling in love and working with the ‘ASR’ (something tells me Akash takes his brother’s anger with a pinch of salt).

Gemma Chan as Payal Gupta

Why: I loved her in Crazy Rich Asians. I think she can nail the loves-everyone-and-is-highly-practical Payal brilliantly. Payal as a character is graceful, slightly shy in expressing her emotions until someone (ASR) pisses her off that she can launch and murder the person in front of her. She kills with kindness and logic though. The whole sequence between Astrid and her useless husband in Crazy Rich Asians gave me BIG vibes of how Payal - if extended - could be as a character. 

Natalie Portman as Anjali Jha/Raizada

Why: Anjali, in my eyes is the epitome of beauty, grace and perfection. She seems so delicate, but gorgeous. Her smile radiates the household and she is the pillar of the Raizada's. But when she breaks down, when her world comes tumbling down - it caves a hole deep enough to reach hell. There’s so much love, empathy, compassion and heart in Anjali that I see someone like Natalie fit the bill :) 

Oscar Isaac as Shyam Manohar Jha

Why: Here’s your handsome, intelligent, smart, diplomatic lawyer who suits up well enough to hide his intent and actions. Oscar can easily carry a character who oozes charm, wit and diplomacy with hidden motives. It’s easy to believe his smiles and deep eyes. Given Abhaas’s greatest strength was the simmering yet hidden sinister ideas, I would love to see Oscar play Shyam cause I think he’d do the character justice. 

Naomi Scott as Lavanya Kashyap

Why: Stunning, powerful, a bit suppressed but when given room to feel, she ultimately has a heart of gold. Lavanya as a character starts off as someone who’s a bit standoffish but is actually a bit naive, incredibly lovable, emotionally mature and has the heart of a sixteen years old! Which is why I always ship her with NK (who can love her with all his heart) and why I think Naomi balances childishness, maturity, naivety and power pretty well. 

Andy Samberg as Nandkishore/NK

Why: COMIC TIMING! He’s one of the best I’ve seen of late. And someone who can be charming, kind, obnoxious, silly but can steal your heart under your nose. Also, this one actor can swiftly switch between humor and something serious which is necessary for our adorable NK.

Dame Judi Dench as Nani/Devyani Raizada

Why: I’m taking a lead out of @tellywoodtrash​‘s list (do check it out!) because Dame Judi Dench would absolutely the role of a strict matriarch with a touch of softness in her heart. Also, Nani has some sass.

Catherine O’Hara as Manorama Raizada

Why: Watch Schitt’s Creek. THIS WOMAN WILL NAIL HELLO HI BYE BYE TO ITS BEST! PERIOD!

You know she’s gonna walk into Akash and Payal’s wedding wearing the below;

Also, we don’t see this much of this in the show but she would ace in the hate to I-love-my-bahu really well. 

Eugene Levy as Mahinder Raizada

Why: Supportive, kind, in love with Mami and kinda gives into her whims until it endangers the happiness of his son. Again, watch Schitt’s Creek. I will not separate this on screen chemistry - this is Mami Mama in reality!

BONUS:(Mama and Mami dancing)

And now to the rest of the Guptas,

Meryl Streep as Madhumati/Buaji

Why: Bua ji is dramatic, intense, extremely loving - so much so she kinda destroys Khushi’s life before learning how to become a better maternal figure to Khushi. Also, Bua-ji is plain hilarious. She might be hard to love but once we know her, we just love her. She’s an excellent, difficult character. If expanded, Bua-ji could’ve been one solid matriarch who would gladly kick Arnav for not just forgetting Khushi’s birthday but much more. Who better than the iconic Meryl Streep? Also... I can’t stop laughing at the ‘war’ of dancing between Catherine O’Hara and Meryl Streep - I’d die laughing.

Tom Hanks as Shashi Gupta and Laura Dern as Garima Gupta

Why: Again, I’m borrowing them from @tellywoodtrash​‘s amazing list because they’re just perfect that way. Tom Hanks would perfectly capture the wise Shashi and I think Laura Dern would totally kill the whole Garima-had-affair-with-Arnav’s-dad track. Also, in this version Shashi would recover from paralysis and we’d have a great track on that, as opposed to Mrs Ind- let’s not talk about it.

And OF COURSE AMAN WILL BE HERE. AMAN TO LOVE OUR ANJALI. THE SWEET HANDSOME, JUST FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM, INTELLIGENT PUDDING IS AMAN MATHUR-

Look! He has a ring ready!

Hello Henry Golding!

Phew! With that it’s an end to this - thanks for asking :) 

Much love, 

- JWB

[wheel-of-fish]

By the Numbers Jöback, Hill, Stolle

By the Numbers:  The Peter Jöback/Samantha Hill/Jeremy Stolle Stream, August 15, 2020

A more timely roundup!  The things that can be accomplished without a kitten on your head!

This was a fascinating boot, featuring a Phantom with a lovely Swedish accented tenor voice, Samantha “too sweet to be hot, except to the Phantom” Hill, and release-the-thirst-floodgates Jeremy Stolle.  The Stolle thirst was boundless.  The Stolle thirst was all encompassing.  There was scarcely a vocal phrasing, gesture, line read or body part that was not only mentioned but gushed over.  I did not even begin to count the ways.  Every category would have been “greater than infinity”.  And, every comment was true.  This man delivered!  From the height of his tallness to the depths of his deep baritone, Stolle was on a roll in this boot.  The boot itself was very good quality, only one large Head occasionally swallowing the action like a black hole.  Very worth seeing!  The passion of the AIAOY Kiss is matched only by the physics involved in making it happen between oh so tall Stolle and oh so small Hill.  But true love always finds a way!

Suggested names for this boot:  Jöback in Black Boot, IKEA Phantom Boot, Stolle the Show Boot (Okay, nobody suggested these.  It was me.  I suggested these. The first one was from Fish’s password for this stream, though!)

Statistician’s Favorite Boot Name:  The FÅNTØM Boot (again, nobody’s suggestion but mine, spelling courtesy of missbuster)

Wow, we like to talk about Phantoms:  Well this week, we seemed to talk about everybody except other Phantoms.  Oh sure, some were mentioned, but let’s mix it up and see what other names were dropped this week.  Supply your own context for even greater amusement, because heaven knows you won’t find it here.  These numbers are a lot more accurate because, again, no kitten on head this week.  It occurs to me that instead of meticulous record keeping, I could just make crap up.  Not this week.  Maybe next week.  All these people were genuinely mentioned in this week’s stream.

Carly Rae Jepsen (7), Vin Diesel (1), John Travolta (3), Antonio Banderas (5), Hugh Jackman (3), Ian McKellen (3), Judy Dench (1), Emmy Rossum (2), Anne Hathaway (4), Russell Crowe (3), Patrick Wilson (1), James Corden (1), Rebel Wilson (1), Hadley Fraser (1), Kelly O’Hara (1), Francesca Hayward (1), Michael Gruber (1)

Fond mentions of 1998 “Cats”:  6

Mentions of 2019 “Cats”:  12 (I have left out any adjectives as most were Not Charitable.)

Opinions that “Cats” should only be done as an animation:  2

Oh, hey, yeah, another Phantom, mentions of Gerard Butler:  5 (I have left out any adjectives as most were along the lines of Bless His Heart)

Oh, hey, yeah, another Phantom, mentions of Paul Stanley:  14 (I have left out any adjectives as most were somewhere between Not Charitable and Bless His Heart)

Wishes for Rose to have good luck on her date while the rest of us stayed glued to our monitors on a Saturday night:  9

Inappropriate Random Zoom:  to Christine’s dressing table during Raoul’s visit (not NEARLY as inappropriate as the Random Zoom to Barbara the mannequin’s doors of summer during last week’s stream.)

Self-Caress mentions:  3 (The Phantom.  The PHANTOM.  Not whatever you were thinking.)

What scent are the Phantom’s candles:  Hopeless Mist (no, the Phantom’s candles were not discussed this week.  As the creator of the candle line which includes Underground Despair, I have decided to use this statistical summary to focus group test additional scentsations suitable for the Phantom’s Lair.  You are warned that this may be an Ongoing Feature.)

For Science mentions:  6

Boner mentions: 2 (I will not name names, you know who you are)

Apparent confirmation of boner mentions by people noticing Christine looking down during The Sprawl:  3

Is there any safe way to say that boner mentions are ummm trending downward?:  No

Unofficial Dialogue:  “TA DAAA” when the Phantom reveals the mirror bride (courtesy Wheel-of-fish, who just barely beat haunted-hideaway to it)

Outrageous Rumors Category: 

“Carly Rae Jepsen as Meg…..A dream”—deardaaery

“Carly Rae Jepsen played Meg???” –mrskroger

“I love how these streams can be used to start outrageous rumors”—Aldebaran

“rushing to tumblr to tell everyone about carly rae jepsen playing meg”—Wheel-of-fish

“Vin Diesel played Raoul, fact”—Aldebaran

IKEA mentions:  10

Suggestions for additional characters Jeremy Stolle could play in the All Stolle Show (phantom-of-the basement):  Mirror Bride (christinegrrl), Monkey Music Box (Flora-Gray), Madame Firmin (ktarinajones)

Everyone’s a critic:  “First review for the all stolle show has to be “he stolle the show” otherwise it’s a missed opportunity”—butdreamsofbeauty

The Phantom’s pillows mentions:  7

People of the opinion that the Phantom should use one of his 600 pillows as a cushion for fainted Christine’s head:  2 (question and number of pillows estimated by ashadeintheshade)

Vintage madamefaust on the Pillow Question:

Look, he took a long time arranging those pillows.  They’re from Pier One, they’re expensive, he doesn’t want to put them on the floor.

Erik has skillz:

“You know he’s handy.  Everything is probably homemade. Bitch can sew a hem.”—Melancholy’s Child

“Erik as a contestant on Project Runway”—Benny-Lynne

“I’m convinced he hand-sewed the Red Death costume.”—haunted-hideaway

“Five and half months working on that Red Death cosplay”—yamiangie

“has a “Red Death” pintrest”—blahahala                              

Outrageous Rumors Part Two:

“The pillows are hot-glued to the boat”—wheel-of-fish

People who fell for the Phantom hot-gluing pillows to the boat:  4

Outrageous Rumors Part Three                                          

“Carly Rae Jepsen hot glued those pillows”—wheel-of-fish

We stan a crafty Phantom:

“I just like the idea of Erik with a glue gun”—wheel-of-fish

 “erik bedazzling things”—butdreamsofbeauty

 “He  DEFINITELY has a bedazzler.”—madamefaust

 “erik bedazzles his own capes”—christinegrrl

 “erik with a staple gun putting pillows on a boat:  KACHUNK”—        phantomofthebasement

Barbara Speaks:

   “Being a mirror bride must be a hard job”—mrskroger

   “damn straight”—the-real-barbara

Rare Don Atillio appreciation mention: 1

Andre’s probable fear of ballerinas mentions:  6 (as suggested by madamefaust)

Andre’s issue gets a name:  Tutuphobia—Aldebaran

Possible alternate ending for POTO:

There’s like 8 ballerinas….if they all came together the Phantom would have no chance.—hell-lawliet

That’s why Buquet always carries a noose, fear of ballerinas–Aldebaran

AIAOY Kiss comments:  45 comments in 24 seconds

Requests for AIAOY Kiss replay:  6 (replay occurred)

Incorrect use  of the Raoul as an International Unit of Measure:  1 (I misstated in the stream that Christine would be 1.62 Raouls in height.  This is clearly false, as it would make her much taller than Raoul, who is already impossibly tall.  Using as our values Mr. Stolle at 6’3” and Ms. Hill at 5’4”, Christine’s height expressed in Raouls would be .8533 Raouls.  The statistician regrets the error.  This is why maybe I should just make crap up next time.  No, I will not convert the heights to the metric system.)

Debut of IKEA Phantom: 

“And the Phantom is just quietly weeping in the angel because…even he knows that is a hard act to follow”—madamefaust

“That is a kiss to cause a Phantom mental breakdown for sure”—Flora-Gray

“oh no the ikea phantom becomes unassembled”—Aldebaran

“he wasn’t anchored to the wall”—Benny-Lynne

“Someone get the allen wrench, we need to put back together a saad boi”—haunted-hideaway

Unholy Trinity of Cooper/Thiago/Uwe mentions:  1 (by madamefaust, who perhaps is protected by the sheer power of her vast Phannish humor and talent.  Please do not invoke the Unholy Trinity on a whim yourself.)

Respect given to Steve Barton in the form of “Fs”:  11 (entirely appropriate at any time but especially during a boot with such a stellar Raoul)

Red Death as a Swedish Fish mentions:  3 (not to his face, never to his face)                                         

 “tiny swedish fish red death”—Aldebaran

 “HE IS A SWEDISH FISH”—madamefaust

 “the most dramatic swedish fish”—butdreamsofbeauty

Best from Onthevirg’s Mom:  “We should talk about Phantom Jaws”

Fathering Gaze lyric:  1

Split decision on the statement by mrskroger that Wandering Child has a strong Daddy’s Home vibe:

*Strong NO from Wheel-of-fish

*Strong YES from Benny-Lynne

That staff tho: 

“Fire Pez One.  Fire Pez Two.”—Aldebaran

“Skeletor Pez Dispenser”—DoCTy

“I wonder what it’s like to be that dramatique that you fashion a staff that shoots fire”—haunted-hideaway

“He probably bedazzled the staff as well”—Aldebaran

“oh he definitely bedazzled it”—christinegrrrl

“ ‘bedazzled staff’ definitely sounds like something hmm”—onthevirg

Number of audience cell phone rings at insanely crucial moments:  1

Attempting to bring Logic to PONR:

“I know it’s a plot device, but who has a hood that big, really?”—haunted-hideaway

“THIS IS THE EXACT SAME MAN.  MUCH STEALTH.  SUPER INCOGNITO”—madamefaust

“Yeah, I don’t know guys…I don’t think that’s Piangi…?” —Flora-Gray

“yeah swedish italian accent is a giveaway”–Aldebaran

Education of the Innocent:

“ok, I don’t know The Lore, why do we call her Barbara”—butdreamsofbeauty

“Haunted named her in a stream.  She said: ‘Her name is Barbara and she had hopes and  dreams once.’  I said I would never forget it and I have not.”–Aldebaran

The mob storms IKEA:

“time to flat pack the FÅNTØM”—missbuster

“So you’re saying Stolle should just squash the Phantom” —GlassPrism

“he comes apart for easy handling”—missbuster

“Get the Allen wrench”—madamefaust

Reactions to the Phantom after Christine’s final exit: 37 comments in 59 seconds

Sad comment is sad: We don’t even need the allen wrench, he came apart on his own.   –  madamefaust

Things I wish I had said:

“Moist Raoulette”—haunted-hideaway

“no Tol Raol Pol?”—missbuster,  at not seeing Raoul boating away post Final Lair

“No Stolle Tolle Rolle Polle?”—missbuster, with continued disappointment                          

Dreams do come true:

You know.  If you had told 14 year old me that in the future I could watch Phantom EVERY WEEKEND I would have died on the spot—missbuster

Statistician Aldebaran’s two no three favorite personal quotes:   

re: Jöback “He crawls with an accent”

 “Raoul conveniently wore a ladder jacket to make it easier for Christine to climb” 

 “Erik is just in a perpetual state of PONR”

Thank you as always for the submission, kind statistician Aldebaran!

[wexhappyxfew]

judy has a lot of life experience, but she grew up in the south in the 1930’s and joined the military at 20. so i can’t imagine she has a lot of romantic and sexual experience

OHHHH I LOVE THIS. absolutely correct sweet anon! most definitely! and i think especially with judy — i draw a lot on her past and her background for her character. i sort of mention how she is pretty innocent when it comes to the world (she was perhaps a little bit sheltered because of both growing up in the south and growing up poor — as well as growing up in the great depression) and that ultimately plays into who she is. not entirely innocent, but definitely more on the innocent side with life and all. and so for her, with what she has experienced, she really tries to keep on the positive side of things, the happier side.

however, when it comes to rosie rosenthal and expressing those romantic feelings and trying to navigate what she feels for him — she hits a crossroads. she never had a boyfriend growing up, and her older brother really tried to protect her from that sorta stuff. she wasn’t in school a whole lot because of the fact her family couldn’t afford it and she had too many siblings to amount for. and so, she had human connection, especially her final years before signing up for the war, she worked at a local market for money (and had a crush on the market owner’s son) but she never went much farther than that. and she usually told herself off for having a crush (that they’d never like her back). AND SO WITH ROSIE. WITH ROSIE ROSIE ROSIE. she’s definitely a little less-experienced, a little more cautious and a bit more emotional towards it because of the fact, rosie clearly has feelings for her back, she just doesn’t know how to approach it!

really loved this ask anon — i love digging into my OCs backgrounds and showing why they are the way they are. and judy is a perfect example. she’s not completely unaware but she really doesn’t know what she’s doing when it comes to love. it’s why people like bessie carlisle and vivian ratcliff are so important to her (they both are in very happy relationships so <3333)! THANK YOU ANON!!!!!!! :D

[behindthebrokenglass]

There’s a glitch in the system.

You’re never a victim for speaking your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. You really never know who needs to hear this, embrace your light and raging courage. I ponder on the question often of “When will I ever forget?”... probably not until The day I hit 72 years old, running about in my Alzheimer’s suit. That will be the day I finally feel like everyday is a new day. Every face is a new face... it’ll be like an old people’s home party with pudding and pretzels. Someone sneak in the good juice and turn this elevator jazz music UPPP PLEASE!! I hope I at least remember to do fake palm readings on the other folks I don’t like; *gasps* “KATLYNN! It says here on your hand you will only live for 3 more days if you don’t fix that mouth, oops karma I meant... wait a silly second, Judy was it?” It’ll be a hooot!

Unfortunately, it is not so much of a hoot when your IPhone update came with glitches, or when the power goes out due to a minor inconvenience In the middle of the juiciest dateline episode featuring; “mommy doomsday.” -speaking of: Lori Vallow is sick in the soul to even hurt her babies like that or allow someone else to like Chad Daybell. They both should get their maximum penalty! They should not be sneaking through the cracks for any lesser charge than what is owed. These are the system glitches that serve no better purpose than allowing these horrible people to get away with murdering sweet Tylee Ryan and innocent J.J. Vallow.

I was raised Mormon and I am a proud NOT-member now :) did you know Ted Bundy was Mormon? I was about, maybe 6? When I was sitting in church wondering who the secret psycho-path in the room was. Everyone was always in a “perfect competition” like who can pretend to be more perfect than the other. Not a shred of humbling personalities, just a bunch of maybe it’s maybelline coverups. Why would you allow your pre-pubescent teenager alone in a closed door room with this “bishop” who probably gets off on all your dirty sins that they oddly ask specifics about. Just Why? Nothing ever happened to me personally in the church, but I would not be surprised by the least on how many silent victims are walking on this planet terrified to speak because a religious community blames the outfit not the rapist. It’s always, “this is why you don’t wear that.” Or “well maybe if you weren’t hanging out with those people” instead of what should actually be the reverse. Like , “who raised their son to think it’s okay to make a poor choice that effected my child’s body and well being for the rest of their life?” Rapists rape people not outfits! It’s time to end slut shaming and victim blaming! This right here, again is a glitch in the system. The amount of unsolved murders reported cases that never went anywhere. Weed dealers getting a higher sentence than a child rapist? This goes beyond my own crown chakra’s comprehension. Probably because it’s a fixable glitch that authorities often overlook and block out. When my best friend was murdered they didn’t even look farther than the fact that she danced at a club and drank sometimes. So her murder (according to the police investigator) “was just a lifestyle that caught up to her” he says. Meanwhile I know for a fact being a mother myself my best friend would not have chosen this she was date raped and killed. A mother of three young children is not going to Rest In Peace trying to raise her kids behind a thin glass veil. Another unacceptable glitch in the system.

So, what do you do?

You become the glitch in the system.

Stand up for who you are, for what you believe in. Sometimes when you become the glitch, you play both sides with a good god damn poker face. (Shoutout to the Mormons who taught me how to “Act that Maybe it’s maybelline” style) I won’t stop voicing up for the victims who deserve justice! Even if it means I walk the line to get the info I need, I will be the glitch in the system. I speak for those who won’t, those who are no longer alive and can’t. Whether you died a victim or lived out to be a survivor the system doesn’t get to manipulate the facts circulating around these situations anymore. FACTS ON FACTS ON FACTS

[demonwriterx]

Epithet Erased:A show centered around Kindness (and Barriers!)

*teleports behind you*

Epithet Erased was created by Branden Blaber, a guy known around Youtube by the name of JelloApocolypse  He is known for his famous comedy sketch series of “This is basically...” where he takes a certain show, video game or social media and makes them into parodies, now he had created an original series called Epithet Erased, escluviely being premiered on VRV and on Youtube!

The summary of Epithet Erased will make anyone new to the series interested enough to check out the episodes.

Epithet Erased is set in the world of Sweet Jazz City, where a lucky few are born with powers attached to their very souls known as “Epithets”. An Epithet stems from a single word attached to a users soul that can grant them any kind of power. Words like “Fire,” “Coupon” or … “Soup”. A magical artifact known as the “Arsene Amulet” is rumored to be able to steal an epithet away from its user, and they say it’s hidden somewhere in the Sweet Jazz Museum. Thieves burst down the doors in the middle of the night! Inscribed warriors do battle in the dark of the abandoned exhibits! Dinosaur bones come toppling to the floor! And a little girl named Molly is trapped in the middle of it all. Will her epithet, “Dumb” be enough to save her? Or will her epithet be… erased?

I stumbled across Epithet Erased a little late to the party with three of the episodes already released on JelloApocolypse’s channel. Even being a subscriber, I never got around to it until I decided to sit down and watch the first episode. But now, I wished I would have seen it sooner because of how much I love Epithet Erased! 

Epithet Erased is centered around the world of Epithets where certain people gain epithets, but only around one word. Many Epithet users have very powerful Epithets that they use for battle, protection, healing or even turning things into gold. But one main character, Molly, descibes her epithet as useless and “dumb” because it literally is her Epithet! Her Epithet is “dumb” which means that she can “dumb” down anything into literally nothing or just to negate attacks or special abilities. Epithets can also give people special passive abilities, one example is from Molly herself which she can make a bubble of silence around herself and others, as long as they are in the bubbles’ radius. 

Epithet Erased has a unique narration style and animation. Their animation budget is small as it feels more like a motion comic without the speech bubbles, but don’t let sway your opinion of it as the voice cast, art style and storytelling carries the series into comedic satisfaction. The episodic series go through arcs and the first 4 episodes take place in a museum! Where characters fight over the mysterious arsenic amulet which can steal other people’s epithets and gives it to the user.

Epithet Erased also does a top down narration, where the audience is looking down on the characters as the characters are moving around as profile boxes. If I would describe it, it is similar to a DnD board, which I suspect Epithet Erased was inspired from and also known RPG mechanics as most users of epithets run on stamina and creativity. 

Let’s introduce some characters and the face of the series, Molly. 

Molly is 12 years old, and works in her family’s toy shop! (sometimes all on her own, because her father is worthless garbage...but let’s not get into that now) Molly has issues with her self-esteem which stems from the fact that she has to be the adult in her family since she cannot count on her father and sister. It all stems from the fact that the family fell apart from the death of her mother five years prior, ever since then, Molly has been the one to keep her family going. Molly wears a bear hoodie at all time because it was created by her mother. But even with problems at home, Molly is genueriely nice (and secretly savage, mostly savage....you’ll see). She cares about others, likes to talk to them, and understands what is going on in their point of view. She is struggling to be more  assertive, but she is getting there! 

Giovanni (one of my favorite characters so far!) is the leader of the Notorious BONZAI BLASTERS! A group of rapscallion and ruffians trying to make a name of themselves, consider them like team rocket from the Pokemon series. Giovanni is trying to be known in the criminal underworld, he has his devoted minions who follow him and express their undying love for him. Giovanni may act tough and jerky, but he is a secretly a giant softie. He cares about his minions and takes care of them. Giovanni can even knit! and crafted his own suit from scratch! 

Sylvie is a 15 year old boy, who recently graduated college with a PHD in Psychology, his epithet is “Drowsy”, which means he can put people to sleep and make their nightmares a reality! He can even put himself to sleep and summon his alter ego! A raging bull with a Scottish accent! He is a bit pompous and thinks he knows more than anyone in a room. But he secretly wants to have friends, luckily Molly is there to be his friend! and he has a lot to learn. 

Mera is an interesting character, with her epithet literally turning against her! I won’t say anything else because I don’t want to spoil anything else from the first arc and trust me! It will captivate you!

Indus is a big soft teddy bear and body guard of Mera, who he refers to as “lady Mera” which is very sweet. He does everything Mera tells him too, including cooking and doing laundry but he is kinda soft-headed (pretty dumb) think of him as Kronk and Mera as Ezma from Emperor’s new Groove. 

But these two, these two right here, are my absolute favorite pair! (because I found myself shipping them, im not sorry) The guy on the left is Ramsey, who appears in ep 6 and 7. His epithet is Goldbricker, which he can turn anything and himself into solid gold. A con man at heart, constantly on the run from a bounty hunter finally finds relief when he becomes partnered with a law abiding officer, Percy. 

Percy (right), is one of the top officers in her field. Her epithet is creating small buildings with magical abilities but her stamina is very low, if she makes too much or fights for too long, she can literally pass out and becomes defenseless.  She is very direct, strong, serious and little innocent, (especially around Ramsey and his constant innuendos, which is very funny). She doesn’t really respond to his comments and his sarcastic jokes, one of which he says to her “your cop is showing” and she gets very embarrassed and says “oh, I’m sorry” so she take things very literally. These two remind me of Judy and Nick from Zootopia, and I also love the good cop, and criminal partnership trope.

Epithet Erased is an action-packed, comedic masterpiece centered around great narration, voice acting and wonderful characters. The show constant theme being kindness to others and most characters of the series are very nice people just trying to make it in a cruel world. It is heartwarming and very funny! I highly recommend everyone to give it and chance and check it out on VRV and on youtube, I will provide a link to the first episode below. I really want this show to succeed and gain a following of support as not a lot of people know about this show, and I would hate to see it end early! This type of show does not come around every often, it is like a secret prize hidden away and everyone deserves a prize! Epithet Erased is a masterpiece of animation, storytelling and character that is unlike any other! 

Please check it out in the link below!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP4nS6ag1-E6TzlQvaWfiZg

[finleyjayne]

Break A Leg

 {Chapter 1: Auditions}

Summary: After your accident, everything in your life changed. Your shared dream of being on Broadway with your best friend, Amanda, was over. But just because YOU don’t think you want the same things in life doesn’t mean that your friend won’t see through you. Taking matters into her own hands, you end up at an audition you’re sure that you’ll fail since SHIELD Theater Company is known the world over for typecasting. And you don’t fit any of your typical actress types. Little do you know that the company’s new writer - nihilistic, pessimistic, and resident drunk; Bucky Barnes- is looking for someone out of their normal choices.

Characters: Female Reader, OFC Best Friend, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, and all your other favorite Marvel Characters, hopefully in the long run it will end with a Bucky Barnes/Reader ship.

Series Warnings: Guys, this is based on my own experiences within the Acting community after gaining weight and height after an accident. There will be fat-shaming, mentions of eating disorders, unhealthy expectations, unhealthy coping mechanisms, also like bias based on looks.

A/N:this originally was inspired by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ s follower celebration challenge. I was given the opportunity to use the text prompt “No fucks given, Next please.” Thank you Star! Thank you Thank you. Also a big thanks to the lovely @cavillanche​ for giving me a gentle nudge to write for myself and for being an amazing sounding board.

"Come oooooon, Y/N. I don't care if you don't want to go out. I haven't seen you in what feels like literal months. That's saying something since you know we LIVE together. I won't take no as an answer." Your best friend, Amanda, said as she flopped on top of you. 

Amanda burst into your bedroom this morning at way-to-fucking-early o'clock in the morning, on a warpath to get you to come out with her. It didn't matter to her that you were finally getting some sleep after working all-nighters for the last week. There was no way to ignore her either, her sunny personality and eager persistence would cause you to roll over in your grave if she wanted you to.

With a groan, you smothered your complaints behind a gasping wheeze. "Kay, Manda, where are we going?"

 She rolled off of you with a high-pitched squeal and used the momentum to pull you out of bed. "Yay! I have so much planned. I was talking to my manager about how well we used to work as a pair on stage. I may have mentioned how much I would kill to be the Penny to your Tracy. Or the Meg to your Christine. The Judy to your Betty. The Glinda to your Elphaba." Her words started to fade into background noise as she milled on about the parts you had once wanted to play together.

  The dream used to be that you both would move here, to New York, and play in all of the big theaters on Broadway together. Sadly, your broadway dreams were not as much of a reality as Amanda's were. And you were okay with that. You were thrilled for Amanda. Living vicariously through your best friend, helping her prepare for her shows while working as a Math tutor and Accountant for a local firm. 

   It didn't help that you weren't necessarily what people consider the typical standard of beauty. Standing just under six feet tall, a little plushy about the middle, and some nasty scar tissue leaving one of your legs in a constant state of ghostly paleness. Not that people notice since you tend to find yourself just as pale as the damaged tissue. After so many failed auditions, you figured your best life was lived outside of the theater. You were happy, and honestly, you are kinda glad that you are where you are.  

 "....So hurry up, I'll pick your outfit, we have an appointment with Rijah in half an hour." Amanda finished pushing you into the little cubical shower. When did she turn it on? Where are we going? Needless to say, you did what she asked and stuffed down your confusion, focusing on waking up more before you accompanied her to yet another one of her 'private' lessons with your pianist friend.

Thirty minutes later, you were dressed, primped, polished, and not all that much more awake. Amanda stuffed a binder of music into your hand as Elijah spread his copy over the lip of his pristinely kept upright. "You know this song, I think it will be perfect. A little overplayed, but with a fresh interpretation, they'll overlook it. All you have to do is sing. They are bound to cast you. I've worked with them before, and Director Rogers values skill over appearances. So we'll show them your ability, and he'll love you."

Looking at your rambling best friend, Your confusion amplifies. Your jaw cracks as you don't even try to stifle another yawn. You rub your eyes, not questioning her pushiness. "Uuuuhhhhh, okay?" You scan through the score, making note of the cut before looking to the triangular-shaped man sitting on the piano bench. Since you had already been taken through the typical vocal warm-ups by Amanda while she played dress up this morning. You smile at your expectant friend/accompanist. "Will you give me a playthrough with the melody line in it as a refresher, please, Rijah, Repeat, and I'll join you?" 

"Of course," He said sweetly with a nod, turning to the keys and playing. Quietly you hummed along, mentally noting which registers each phrase should be sung in. Where the notes would be stretched, what you would use to your advantage. The accompaniment was simple, repeated strummed chords like most modern musical use. It gives freedom rhythmically when it comes to melodies. You could have fun with the piece. Smiling to yourself, you open your mouth and join the simplified accompaniment on the repeat. 

When the second run-through finishes with a very extravagant arpeggiation. There is a moment of complete stillness as the resonance leaves the space. You are high on the feelings of intense emotion and absolute peace, yet somehow buzzing with unlocked energy. You miss this feeling, of connection with everything and nothing, The feeling of knowing that you did something right, it's heady, and it drives you to ask yourself why you ever stopped performing for a brief second. Amanda was always saying that she would drag you to an audition one of these days if you didn't get over yourself.

 You are knocked out of your musical high by Amanda's enthusiastic clapping. Elijah looks at you with a smirk, opens his mouth, and is swiftly cut off by your friend. "God, Y/N. They won't be able to stop themselves as soon as you open your mouth!" You smile at her very biased opinions. Before she can get any crazy ideas like dragging me along to more than just her sessions with Elijah, you place the binder the music into her hands, "Why don't we go over Take me or leave me? After all, this is your rehearsal time, I'm just here to help you."

Amanda gives you a devious smirk as she nods. "Sure. You heard the woman, 'Rijah." She sends him a sly wink that you are too tired to really read much into. He just nods with a conspiratory smile and spreads the music for the RENT song over the previous. 

"Whenever you are ready, ladies," He says when he's ready. Sighing internally, you place yourself back into your 'supportive friend' role, playing out the simplified blocking of Amanda's latest show. 

Before you even fully realize it, your hour with 'Rijah was over, and Amanda was pulling you into a nearby taxi to your next destination. "If you don't let me at least have a coffee, I will not be held accountable for my actions, Woman." You warn your best friend as you eye her. You were starting to worry that you would need to be more awake for whatever plans she had for the rest of the day, You were now to the point where you could see her scheming something, but were still too out of it to figure out what it was. 

She looked at you, trying to hide behind her mask of sickeningly-sweet innocence. I knew this look and all that it implied, and it worked to shake me into a slight panic of what she was walking me into. "I don't know what you mean, Y/N. I told you where we were going this morning, I promise this is the last stop before we can go home and you can sleep the rest of the night away. But if things go as I hope, we may have a repeat of this occasion sooner rather than later." The taxi pulls up at a building with a line heading out the door and around the corner. 

That's when it hits you; That promise that Amanda had made to you all those months ago about dragging you to an audition wasn't just one of those 'get moving your ass, or I'll move it for you' speeches to get you out of bed, she was going to do it. No, she wasn't going to do anything. Amanda had already done it. She had gotten you into an audition. 

You were suddenly wide awake. The knowledge that you were at an NYC Broadway audition, with your best friend hitting you like Celie's babies being alive in The Color Purple. It is unexpected but brought with it such excitement and fear all at once. You grasped onto Amanda's arm. "Amanda Jenivive Brendon, if this is some kind of joke, I don't know if I can forgive you. Please say this is not some kind of joke." The words are a desperate snarl. The hope pressing against your chest mixed with the fear that you jumped to incorrect conclusions was absolutely unbearable.

Amanda lets out a loving laugh before playfully scowling at you. "You really haven't been listening to a single thing I've said to you all day, have you?" The accusation was slightly bitter, but you knew she was laughing on the inside.

You squeeze her arm as your panic escalates. What am I going to do? How am I going to do this? What if they don't accept me just because of how I look? Shit, what am I going to do about a resume? Your vision blurs as you watch your best friend take your hand, leading you into the building past the line of girls and down a hallway to a dance studio styled room. 

She leads you to a table set before the long wall of mirrors where a cute little redhead sits. Taking out a binder and handing her two sets of papers, "Hey Wanda, It's good to see you. Is it standard issue today?" 

With a bright smile, Wanda accepts the papers. "Sure is Amanda, Do you need a copy of the company notes, or do you still know them by heart?" 

 Amanda chuckles before shaking her head, "I don't need a set, but you probably should give one to Y/N here, She could use the distraction of going through all the legal jargon while we wait."

Wanda's eyes grew wide as she turned to face you. "Y/N? As in 'shower singer Y/N'? Oh my Atlanta, Buck is going to lose his shit!" She jumps up and claps her hands. "I gotta go tell them!"  

Amanda's hand snaps out to stop the woman from leaving. "Hey, none of that. I want to see their surprise when they hear her, especially after Tony's last casting rant."  

Wanda immediately calms, her face splitting into a devious smirk. "OOOOooo, you are evil. I love it. Want me to film it for you?"

 "It's like you read my mind," Amanda says, turning to see your expression of confusion. "Y/N, hey, Y/N/N? You in there?" She snaps her fingers lightly in your face. "Come on, girl. Wanda here is the Stage Manager for the SHIELD Theater Company."  

"Wait, what?" Your voice cracks as your heart hammers even harder into your ribs. SHIELD Theater Company was one of the prominent troupes in New York. They were world-famous, they were the equivalent to The Royal Shakespeare Company in America. Were you at an audition for them? I thought you had to be part of a Union to even be considered for an audition with them!  

"Really, Y/N? Still not paying attention? Come on, let's take a seat, stretch a bit. before they put us through our paces." Her eyes are bright with amusement as she sticks your number on the left side of your dress.

"I'm sorry? In my defense, I have had a total of 8 hours of sleep in the last week. So not the point, though!" You follow her to a set of chairs in the room. At her reproachful glare, when your voice breaches into a louder panicked screech, you take a few breaths before continuing in a harried whisper. " I mean, how am I even here? I am not Unionized, I haven't paid my dues for months! I don't have-" Your internal concerns continue to pour out of your mouth as Amanda slams her palm over your mouth. 

 "Hey, take a deep breath for me, Y/N. I need you to stay conscious... maybe I should have gotten you a coffee before we came, but you always complain that it makes your vocals all gummy." You rip her hand off of your mouth, eyes flashing with annoyance.

"Hey, you're the one who woke me from my first decent sleep this week, you can't really blame me for being a little lack-of-sleep drunk. And Coffee does make me phlegmy, but, again, that is not the point. The point is now that I know what you've set up, how can it be possible?" You whisper scream at the aggravatingly calm Amanda.

 She rolled her eyes, "Well, I told you I was going to make our dreams come true, and I have had enough of your lame excuses about how you don't want to get back on the horse. But I saw you today. You WANT to be here. I've seen your secret tears when you go over our old cast photos. I hear you belting in the shower, so I've taken it upon myself to continue paying your dues to the AEA, and cashed in a favor with my agent to sign both of us up for this particular call."

 Before you could make a rebuttal, seven people walked into the room that had slowly filled with fifty or so women while you were distracted. A short brunette plants himself in the center of the mirrored wall as the others take seats next to Wanda behind the white foldable table.

 "Welcome, ladies, It is inspiring to see all of your beautiful faces. Before we start, I wanted to say a few words. First, thank you for taking the time to come and audition with us today.

"As you know, we only hold one set of auditions for the full season and look at that, all of you have made the initial cut for this season. Now it's time for the fine-tuning. Just know that even if you don't make it into our troupe this year, it's nothing personal. We have a specific set of personalities and abilities that we are looking for. If you don't make it this year with us, don't be afraid to come back next season. 

"Now, to kick off this lovely party, let's have you line up, no particular order." The man smirks, and you gasp as you realize who the cocky man is: Tony Stark. You were being lined up for your first NYC cattle call by the eccentric, theatrical genius Tony Stark. You didn't know whether to be honored or terrified. He had a notorious reputation as a type-caster, and the only type he favored was the short, petite woman. FUCK. 

Amanda dragged you into the line as she plastered a knowing smile on her face, "Just remember, sing. if you open your mouth, let that beautiful song sing from your heart." 

"Sure, whatever you say," you reply to her whispered reassurances, holding your head up high as the legendary man started down the line."No, No, Yes, Yes, Yes, Sorry, Sure, Yes. Not this time, sweets. No, Sorry, Yes, Yes, Yes... " And so on until he reached Amanda. "Miss Brandon, nice to see you again. I look forward to hearing your choices today." 

"Same to you, Mr. Stark, and I look forward to showing you my progress from last year."

"Good, good" His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her for another few seconds before skipping over you entirely, "yes, yes, yes, No…"

Well, it looks like you made it through the first cut, Amanda drags you back to where you left your purse and Amanda's backpack. She shares a conspiratory glance with Wanda, who just rolls her eyes. "Take a deep breath, then they'll start pulling us up in small groups to rotate through our song choices."

 "Amanda, I'm pretty sure you voodooed Stark into overlooking me." Amanda just laughs.

"Sure, whatever you wanna tell yourself. I think it was just you being here, it's fate." Now it's your turn to roll your eyes at your friend's everlasting optimism.

Once Stark finishes going down the line, he takes his place back front and center. "Okay, ladies, now it's time for the fun bit. I'm sure you were all smart cookies and gave Wanda your music cuts along with your resumes, so now it's time to put those voices to work. We'll call you up in trios. Wanda will read out your name and call number, Thor will wait for you to count out a tempo before playing for you. Wanda?" Stark calls out the woman before taking his seat behind the table. 

Wanda smiles brightly, calling out the first three people as the Hulking blond man stands from the table and makes his way to the piano. Wow, I hope I don't mess this up. It's not just my ass on the line anymore. You are brought back out of your thoughts by a gentle tug on your arm. 

"Stop overthinking things, you'll do fine, Your resume is prime, your song choice is brilliant, and like they couldn't choose someone more theatre conscious if they had hired Idina Menzel." 

You shudder at the actress's name, "I would hope so, she's terrible."

"Yet she had been a mainstay in theater for years." 

"So what, just goes to show people don't necessarily want talent. They want beautiful mutants who can screech out songs without killing their vocal cords."

"Y/N, Shut the fuck up. You can do the same things, you may not sing in a scream like she can, but you know how to sing, you can dance- don't give me that look I caught you practicing your fouettes last week- and more importantly, you can connect. You connect in everything, you have so much to offer, and I know that once these people hear you, they will hire you. I know it."

You sigh, you weren't sure that everything she was saying was true, but you knew that she believed the words with all of her heart and didn't want to be the reason her hope died. So you just sighed in resignation before turning to the group that was in the midst of their auditions. They were outstanding, and the longer you went on, the more self-conscious of your own lack of preparation. Subconsciously you reached out to grab Amanda's hand and ended up clutching onto her dress front.  

"Amanda, Amanda, I don't deserve to be here." Your hushed whisper, dragging harsh against your throat. Your chest tightening, your panic acting as a hangman's noose. "Amanda, I don't know what I'm singing. Amanda, what is it from? What is the song's name? How will I slate if I don't even know the name of the song? Wait, what is MY name? " Your breath started to tear through your lungs, your sinuses stung with oncoming tears. 

"Y/N, take a breath, let go before you give everyone an unexpected flash." Amanda's whispered reply was almost biting in its directness. Even if you consciously didn't hear the words, her tone cut the noose from your neck. Your lungs immediately expanded with much-needed air, your fingers loosening their grip to let her replace the fabric with her own firm grip. "Good girl, now, Y/N, what is your name?"

"Uhhhhhh…" Even if you were calming down, your brain was still coming back to grips.

"The next three are as follows: Y/N Y/L/N, Amanda Brendon, and Savannah Moffat." Wanda's lyric call cut through the silence that had filled the studio while you were trying to remember your name. 

You stood automatically, all your years of auditioning kicked you into performance autopilot. Your shoulders take their place slightly back, head high, chest on display, the skirt of your dress flowing around your thighs as if they were the mist rolling over the valley at dawn. Your face hid the horror that was filling your mind, it didn't matter that you didn't remember the name of your song, you were Y/N Y/L/N. You could fake it till you make it to perfection. Amanda was right, all you have to do is sing, and they will see you. It doesn't matter if you don't look like you used to, you are still capable, and even if you don't make it, you can't say that you didn't try. Just remember what Doctor Ellis said, 'every audition is a performance, even if they don't choose you, you were able to perform.' You can do this. After all, you sang it this morning, you could see the sheet music just behind your eyelids when you close your eyes. Just keep breathing.

Amanda gave your hand a final squeeze as she recognized the look of horrified determination in your eyes. Smiling to herself as she saw the bored looks on the panelists' faces. She met eyes with Wanda, who gave her a smirk nudging the blond man sandwiched between her and Tony. Turning his attention to your regal appearance before Tony also decided to look up from whatever was so important on his phone. 

You opened your mouth to introduce yourself, and Tony's voice filled the space clearly, saying the words that had shattered your own will to find your auditions.

"I'm sorry I must have missed you before. There is no need for you to sing today, collect your things."

Your face fell into an imitation of a polite smile as your brain processed the rejection. Guess Amanda really did save me from being culled. Before you can say or do anything, though, the blond man sitting next to Tony spoke.

"Tony, you had your chance. Now it's my turn to decide whether or not she is cast. Now sit down." 

"No, it isn't too late, Steve. I bankroll this group I get to have a say. And I won't have someone who looks like her representing my Acting Company."

"You already had your say. Now sit down and let the girl sing."

"No," Stark turns from the blond man and back to you. "No fucks given, Next, please."

 CHAPTER TWO

[judeloski]

💀  * [ ella purnell + demi female + she/her ] —— have you met judith ‘jude’ loski? they are a twenty-one year old junior currently studying fine arts. they live on farrow house, and word around campus is that this capricorn is creative + magnetic, as well as contradictory + morbid. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. a skull pattern stained onto fine china, flowers plucked too soon, red wine staining the seam of your lips.  [ ooc: pepper. twenty four. she/her & est. ]

ABOUT THE MUN.  hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, here’s twenty dollars!

hello it is pepper again with my second muse because i have no self control. depending on whether or not i can handle this amount of muses i might drop one but for now i am hype!! i have had jude living rent free in my head for like ??? a year at least, and this is the first time i’ve gotten to play her so i’m living large! the entire inspiration behind her is inspired by my creative writing teacher in uni so this is a shout out to you jen i love you!! okay that is all. 

BIO.  kidnapping tw, death tw, child neglect tw. holiday candles that smell just like your years as a feral child in the forest!

i was gonna write a nice sexy bio but honestly my brain is offline rn so i don’t think that’s gonna happen, instead, welcome to these sexy bullet points. 

judith evianna loski was born approximately two minutes prior to her twin sister juliette elenora loski during a frightful blizzard in londan, england. while judith popped out of her mother kicking and screaming bloody murder from day one, moment one, juliette was a docile baby. she was so sweet and quiet that the doctor’s had to check her breathing more than once. while, of course jude made her presence, and her posession of a working set of lungs and killer set of vocal chords, known to everyone within a ten kilometre radius. let’s just say the loskis knew the difference between their daughters instantly. 

which was fine. jude and julie liked being different anyways. where jude was colour coded green, julie was colour coded blue. while julie was always thrilled at the prospect of a new dress or doll, jude was known for covering such gifts in mud or paint until they were utterly recognizable or suitably ruined. where julie was sweet, and quiet, and shy, jude could fill a room with just her presence, could make a friend in a sea of strangers. the fact was, jude always had what julie lacked, and for the most part vice versa. they fit together like two puzzle pieces, and they complimented each other perfectly. and despite their differences, both their parents adored them unconditionally, and equally for the first six years of their lives. 

which of course meant the girls were spoiled rotten. how could they not be? damon loski was an english gentleman coming from very old, very lucrative oil money. he ran his business like a hobby and yet the loskis still had more than enough money to buy an island or two, especially considering annette’s status. annette loski was a french photographer, and a talented one at that. her work was desperately sought after and world renowned for it’s beauty, and so in her own right, annette was more than well off. and thus, the twins were more than well off, and even if they couldn’t quite understand the concept of that yet, they definitely understood that they could have whatever they wanted just by asking for it. they understood that wherever they went they were to be accompanied by a nice man or woman who was supposed to keep them safe. and they understood that because of mummy and daddy’s jobs they weren’t allowed to play like the other kids did. but as young as jude and julie were they never truly understood why.

that was until three weeks after the girl’s sixth birthday. jude remembers the whole thing like it was yesterday. it was snowing that day and it was that thick puffy snow that made everything seem quiet, the kind that made it hard to see too far ahead on the path you were trekking. the loski twins had taken advantage of the weather to slip between the fingers of their caretaker for the first time and go to the local park. their escape with thrilling, a game of espionage turned reality and the two girls basked in their victory as they made snow angels and twirled and twirled in the snow. that was the day jude had set out to swing higher than she ever had before and demanded that julie watch. and her sweet sister, as submissive as she was, had never quite learned how to say no to jude. so while jude swung and swung and swung, julie stood and watched her from across the park by herself, eyes wide and innocent as she warmed up her numb fingers with her breath. until she wasn’t. alone that is. jude remembers spotting the woman approaching julie. she remember seeing them talking. she remembers the warm clouds her own breath made, almost in sync with the breaths huffing past her sisters lips, foggy up the air before her eyes and obscuring her view. she remembers julie taking the woman’s hand. she remembers the two of them moving to leave the park. and she will never forget that heart stopping moment of quiet, of confusion and fear as her swing slowly came to a stop. she remembers losing julie in the blur of the snow that day.

eventually the police found jude huddled under a tree a block away, still calling her sister’s name into that eerily quiet snow storm, blue lipped and half frozen to death as she shook like a leaf. jude came out of that experience with phemonia. julie didn’t come out of that experience at all. 

well, in all honesty there was no way for the loski’s to know that. after all, they never saw julie again. for all jude knew, her sister could be alive and well, living a new happy life where she had no memory of having a sister. where she had a family that was whole for no reason other than she doesn’t remember it falling apart, and where she loved and was loved in return. it was always so easy to love julie. so honestly, it was entirely possible. 

jude would like to believe that was true. even if in that scenario it would undoubtedly mean that jude got the short end of the stick. 

you see, after julie’s kidnapping anette and damon’s marriage fell to pieces over the years. the trauma of losing a child can do that to you, you know. during that time, as her parents bond splintered apart at the seams, jude remembers hearing her grandmother tell her mother to keep it together for jude. to stick out out for the child she had left. 

her mother left them both in the middle of the night without warning less than a week later. so, jude supposes she wasn’t quite enough to hold things together. 

jude might have been comforted by the fact that she still had her father if he could even look her in the eye. the fact was, jude looked exactly like julie and julie and jude were always both told they were dead ringers for their mother. jude was a physical reminder of literally everything her father had lost, and he didn’t take that quite well. suddenly damon’s hobby of a job became his life. anything to not be home with his ghost of a daughter. 

now the doom and gloom of all this might make it seem like jude took all this trauma and just got really down in the dumps about it. that would be incorrect. jude took that trauma, buried it very deep and only ever used it to fuel her art but otherwise completely ignored it altogether. there’s a difference. one option requires years of therapy and the other can be dealt with pretty easily with years of denial, even if you’re forced to go to therapy anyways because your twin sister was kidnapped in front of you and that kind of thing generally gets you a ticket to therapy for life. very different. 

jude isn’t sure if it was that trauma, her parents name, the fact that the news of her sister’s kidnapping was pretty spread all over europe for about a month, or even unlikely enough her talent that launched her art career, but something did. maybe it was a combination of everything. but either way, jude loski was able to find herself with her own small art gallery opening at the tender age of thirteen. and her success in the art world only grew from their, her art galleries and portfolio growing and growing until the point that jude was able to find herself with a place at holloway. and considering there wasn’t much left for her in england anyways, considering her father barely spoke to her and her mother was gone like the wind, jude decided to go. 

and that’s all i got for now, and also i’m tired but if you want to plot give this a like and i will slide into your dms.

HEADCANNONS.  *aggressively makes tea*

here is her pinterest board. 

do not call her judy,  

hates her birthday and hates snow storms understandably. is a big fan of rain though. particularly enjoys thunder storms. 

is allergic to bees but is super chill about it. had an allergic reaction when she was fourteen that her dad was too busy on a business call to notice was happening. the nanny ended up being the one to stab her with the epipen. 

has pretty bad nightmares and night terrors sometimes and hence generally likes to sleep when the sun is out if she sleeps at all. because of that she tends to seem pretty nocturnal. you can probably catch her at the library in the middle of the night. 

loves weird little knicknacks. like voodoo dolls and like shrunken heads or like other weird stuff you find in the corners of antique shops and stuff. her side of her dorm is probably full of them so rip to her roommate. 

really loves skulls and other modern kind of contradictory things on fine china. learnt to make the designs herself cause there isn’t nearly enough of them, but she just does it for herself as a hobby like she doesn’t sell them or anything. 

learnt to weld on a whim. catch jude in her dorm welding things to make sculptures out of metal. 

bisexual as hell theydies. 

spent a lot of her teenage years with her godmother but i’m too tired to get into that rn i might add to this later

loves poetry and novels, but likes the flowery shit yk, the stuff that makes you feel something. 

is a good student for the most part but is horrible in math and science. sits in on english and classics courses for fun though. 

is v english and therefore very particular about her tea. 

i do headcannon that julie is fine and okay and just living that finding carter life so if anyone was wondering yeah she’s out there somewhere and alive with a new kidnapper mom yk 

a bit witchy. the kind who washes her door in rosemary and sunwater because she believes in that kind of thing and doesn’t understand why people don’t. that said, she doesn’t believe in god even a little bit but she goes to church every sunday anyways just to admire the stained glass and ask very specific questions to spark debate. she also just genuinely likes the vibe of jesus. not god, but jesus, she’s cool with. 

unfortunately is a dirty smoker. smokes nicotine and weed. probably vapes. 

the type to quote poetry when she’s drunk or high. can be very annoying because she always thinks that she’s like transcended into another world. 

i have a feeling in my heart that she’s really bizarre and she was really bizarre as a child after losing julie. big lilo from lilo and stitch vibes yk. just weird and sentimental and lonely. 

has a pet rabbit named julius. 

doesn’t tend to talk about her dead missing sister so unless you think your muse would know about it she probably wouldn’t tell them i’m ngl 

as for personality i have no clue!!! this is my first time playing her so i’m gonna figure it out yk

WANTED CONNECTIONS. I kinda need a hug but I’d rather DIE than let anyone know I am a human being that desperately craves intimacy

CHILDHOOD FRIEND. please. they can be from anywhere okay i will make it work i live for childhood friend connections. 

ENEMIES. i mean why not 

BEST FRIENDS. again, pls.

CONFIDANTES. someone she trusts, we love to see it 

EXES. i have a feeling that jude is one of those ‘i’m gonna leave before you leave me’ kind of people, so she definitely could have self sabotaged this kind of thing

MUSE. self explanatory but consider this: please. 

CRUSH. jude has a crush on your muse or vice versa

FAMILY FRIEND. self explanatory, but it could be wild that’s all i’m saying. 

and other stuff ofc, but my brain is so tired y’all i have to knock out

[paradiselostbythedashboardlight]

So it’s kinda like my thing now that whenever I enjoy something with an ensemble cast, I gotta assign each character a song by The Mountain Goats, so welcome to Fire Emblem: Three Houses as Mountain Goats songs. 

Black Eagles

Edelgard: Going Invisible 2 “I'm gonna burn it all down today and sweep all the ashes away.” This song feels like her mantra for defiantly destroying everything corrupt no matter the cost. Also the slow and increasingly intense performance of the song just feels exactly how her plan unfolds. 

Hubert: Genesis 30:3 “Open up the promise of the day, drive the dark things away. I will do what you ask me to do because of how I feel about you.” I know this song is about having a baby, but the absolute yet tender loyalty feels perfect for Hubert. 

Ferdinand: Sicilian Crest “Look to the West, look to the man bearing the Sicilian crest.” This song captures the exuberance of Ferdinand while also being about blinding overconfidence and hey! It has the word crest! Fun!

Bernadetta: In the Craters of the Moon “If the strain proves too much, give up right away. If the light hurts your eyes, stay in your room all day.” Honestly, TMG is a very Bernie band what with all the paranoid isolation and abusive fathers, but I like that this one captures her sense of epic-level dread over even small interactions. 

Dorothea: Linda Blair was Born Innocent “Hungry for love, ready to drown, so tie down the sails, we're going downtown.” For a girl who just wants love, a song named after a movie about the exploitation of teen girls. 

Linhardt: Sourdoire Valley Song “Dream the pleasant dreams that people dream when they grow up down here.” A weird song about peaceful Paleolithic life that seems to align with the peaceful, sleepy world Linhardt prefers. 

Caspar: For Charles Bronson “Set you sights on good fortune, concentrate, pull back the hammer, try to hold the gun straight.” A song about giving your all, earning your place, and having the heart of a champion despite everything. 

Petra: Deuteronomy 2:10 “I have no fear of anyone, I'm dumb and wild and free. I am a flightless bird and there'll be no more after me.” This ode to a captured animal who is the last of its kind seems to align with Petra’s existence as a sort of exotic hostage in the empire. 

Blue Lions

Dimitri: Maybe Sprout Wings “I thought of old friends, the one's who'd gone missing, said all their names three times. Phantoms in the early dark, canaries in the mines.” This is just the most heartrending song about waking at night from a dream of people who are now dead, just as Dimitri is haunted by his own ghosts.  

Dedue: Sax Rohmer #1 “I am coming home to you, with my own blood in my mouth.” Loyalty, but this time with Dedue’s penchant for having to fight through literal hell for Dimitri in every route. 

Felix: Spent Gladiator 2 “Stay alive. Maybe spit some blood at the camera. Just stay alive, stay forever alive.” Since Felix is committed to fighting for survival rather than heroic sacrifice, this furiously defiant song about continuing to live despite terrible odds seems appropriate. 

Ashe: Sept 15 1983 “Try try your whole life to be righteous and be good. Wind up on your own floor, choking on blood.” A song about an unjust killing for Ashe who has to reconcile his noble ideals with the unjust death of his adoptive father. 

Sylvain: No Children “And I hope when you think of me years down the line you can't find one good thing to say. And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way.” I mean come on! The title, No CREST BABIES, also its like the ultimate anti-love song for the ultimate anti-love guy. 

Mercedes: Unmasked! “And by way of honoring the things we once both held dear. I will reveal you. I will reveal you.” I imagine this being sung both to Jeritza, masked both literally and metaphorically, with all the kindness mixed with brutal honesty that is Mercedes. 

Annette: Genesis 3:23 “Living room to bedroom to kitchen, familiar and warm. Hours we spent starving within these walls, sounds of a distant storm.” A song about breaking in to your old house aligns with Annette’s own troubled memories of a childhood marred by paternal abandonment. 

Ingrid: Age of Kings “Wolves in the hallway gaining ground. Reach down to the moment when I should have said something true. Shadows and their sources now stealing away with you.” A song about the loss of a heroic past for the idealistic girl who lost her fiancé and watched her own father try to marry her off for money. 

Golden Deer

Claude: Heel Turn 2 “Spent too much of my life now trying to play fair. Throw my better self overboard, shoot at him when he comes up for air.” Claude is so interesting as both a brutal pragmatist but also a dreamer. I really like how he can always survive the game if you let him, despite the compromises he has to make. 

Hilda: Riches and Wonders “I am healthy, I am whole, but I have poor impulse control. And I want to go home, but I am home.” This one is hard since Hilda is a pretty low angst character, but I feel like this song walks the line between her love of the finer things in life versus her eventually learning to stand on her own. 

Leonie: The Legend of Chavo Guerrero “And I need justice in my life: here it comes. Look high, it's my last hope. Chavo Guerrero, coming off the top rope.” Replace Chavo with Jeralt and we have a perfect song about hero-worship and how it can get us through hardship. 

Lorenz: The Mess Inside “Tried to find the creeping sense of dread with temporal things, most of the time I guess I felt alright.” This was another hard one, but given Lorenz’s persistent failure as a lady’s man it seems right that he would just be enjoying luxuries to distract himself from his lack of love. 

Raphael: Animal Mask “That was when we were young and green, in the dawning hours of our team. Some things you will remember, some things stay sweet forever.” One of the few genuinely sweet and happy TMG songs for a sweet and good boy. I am conceptualizing this as being about his childhood friendship with Ignatz and his role as a protector to his sister. 

Ignatz: Unicorn Tolerance “Get a momentary chance to see the thing I've been trying to beat to death, the soft creature that I used to be.” A song about forcing yourself to seem tough when you actually love unicorns, just as Ignatz tries to be a knight for his family, but he just loves art and semi-horny religious iconography. 

Marianne: In the Hidden Places “I turned my face away and I shut my eyes tight. Dreamed about the flowers that hide from the light, on dark hillsides, in the hidden places.” A song to sum up Marianne’s desire to keep herself away from anyone she might endanger. 

Lysithea: The Autopsy Garland “You don't wanna see these guys without their masks on, or their gloves.” This is more metaphorical, but the song is about the abuse of Judy Garland throughout her childhood, which parallels Lysithea’s experience with TWSITD. 

Ashen Wolves

Yuri: Fire Editorial “Lord of the hidden pocket knife. Tawdry dreams all come to life. Save yourselves, save this town, save everything not nailed down.” If anyone deserves to be called the lord of the hidden pocket knife, it’s Yuri. Also, the repeated chorus to save the town aligns with his savage defense of Abyss.

Balthus: Color in Your Cheeks “Come on in, we haven't slept for weeks, drink some of this, it'll put color in your cheeks.” A welcoming yet rowdy song for the rowdiest of boys. Also he is like an actual adult so he can serve liquor. 

Hapi: Possum by Night “All your pack dogs have your say. Let me just find my own way. Moon in the trees my guide. Walk with my jaw hinged wide.” Hapi with her prickly attitude and forced loneliness seems right for this heroic little possum. 

Constance: Game Shows Touch Our Lives “Our house sinking into disrepair, Ah, but look at this showroom filled with fabulous prizes.” The feeling of a little brightness in the despair of something fallen makes sense for Constance’s efforts to reclaim the glory of her house. 

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch8 reread as fast as i can before ch11 arrives help

aww Dani nervous for Jamie’s big race is so cute

i love Dani’s whole photography thing n her wanting to document their lives it’s so sweet

i’m suddenly stuck on the whole blue as a theme thing n now I’m noticing it everywhere/remembering their tent was blue and now their school colours are blue and Dani’s car is blue and I think Jamie’s house is blue. and of course THE SCRUNCHIE

god I love track star Jamie

flip these two are cute together

‘a favour for good luck’ god idk why this gets me so much I think like... Dani giving her this little piece of herself is so wholesome but weirdly loaded i just love it

the carson eddie banter is so funny sdkdhfgj

Dani is such a lil ball of emotions I’m obsessed w her feeling a million things while she watches Jamie

she’s a winner baby!!

also love that this is her setting the record that was mentioned in the prev chapter we love lil details being followed through

Jamie going straight for Dani when she won god that’s so cute

aw Jamie gets a kiss (and a whole gay crisis lol) for her win how sweet

oh no the beginnings of Dani and Eddie

pls this is so soft Carson and Judy so proud of Jamie

I just ate so many carbs I am finally properly fueled for this reading sprint (solidarity w Jamie)

aw Nan quietly proud of her

fkjdfh Dani and Jamie playing footsies at the table

god Nan n Jamie are such a force together truly terrifying to be stuck in the middle of I’m sure. Also fuuuck cld u imagine grown up Jamie and Nan interacting and Jamie in particular being a bit more chilled out and them getting along a lot better but finding their way back to silly little bickering arguments that are really just them knowing they can do that w each other and still be ok at the end of the day bc they love each other ouch it hurts to think about :(

lmao Jamie losing her mind at the sight of Dani in a towel lol I can just imagine her having the same reaction when they’re together too

oooh is the watch from Jamie’s great uncle (? Nan’s brother that she was named for right?) that’s so cool

ugh I want Dani to get her travel adventures so bad

god everytime Dani touches Jamie or says something really sweet or just gives her a look Jamie is suffering so bad

THE MIXTAPE (LITTLE BLUE DUDE SCREAMING AT THE SKY.MEME)

oh god they’re really just gonna curl up in Jamie’s bed and listen to this declaration of love mixtape while Jamie plays with Dani’s hair hold on a minute wait a second

oh no the eddie of it all

aw he brought her flowers (like I am not here for their relationship overall but he does do some sweet things sometimes and he does clearly care abt her)

ugh of course Jamie helped pick them out tho this whole situation is so complicated

god I’m so sad for both of them that their relationship ended up like this. Dani loses that friendship she cherishes so much when it becomes something else she never wanted and Eddie is in love w a girl who will never love him back that way. it really is heartbreaking

oh god the house party time for chaos

Jamie my beloved. sdkjfhsdkjfh and Roger trying to put the moves on her pls this will never stop being funny to me

ugh Dani already feeling so trapped in this life I hate it I hate it

Jamie fiddling w the coin necklace while she watches Dani n Eddie together feels like... she knows she’s losing Dani on some level ouch my heart

is this when Jamie was telling Ed of for letting Dani get drunk wdjkfhdj always the protector aw

she’s still wearing Dani’s scrunchie oh my god. u may have her hand ed but u will never have her hair ties

Dani’s dress MORE BLUE

this is such an interesting event w them like they’re best friends and they’re together so much but they avoid each other for half the party it’s so like... indicative I guess of things changing between them hmmmm

cursed spin the bottle. poor Dani

the zippo lighter. i love seeing things from the box in these chapters. like a gay scavenger hunt

the inadvertent cigarette kiss oh my god. also a little bit like... Jamie just leaning into the pain huh??? I get to put my lips where her lips were but it’s around this thing that has the potential to kill me. god the implications

a little fireside cuddling w ur soulmate ur never gonna kiss how romantic

the sandalwood. I fuckin love that she held onto this scent after Dani told her she smells nice one time. gays really do be like that huh

god this really is the softest moment

christ that almost kiss is so intense how did they just carry on as normal after that I would have died

lol “did i interrupt something?” bro........

dsfkjhdkj Jamie GROWLING at him hahhahahahhaha

oof Dani just wants more of her. I love there was the mention of her carefully constructed walls crumbling and now she’s just like... in this little bubble of almost with her n trying so hard to hold onto that in any way she can

and now she’s back w eddie ouch I hate watching the things she wants slipping out of her grasp

lmao Eddie not putting his arm around Dani when Jamie is there. she really put the fear of god in him I love this angry little lesbian so much

poor Carson being dragged to sports games like “no I’m gay I can’t”

lmao the pair of them trying to be sneaky smoking around the corner (and also having more Moments god the tension of it all)

oooh this Orpheus and Eurydice ref spicy (also fuck this was the beginning of her actually losing Jamie huh god the storytelling... *chef’s kiss*)

oh no Nan :(

god Karen is so awful how could u just break the news to your kid like that

it’s only pain hours from here on out huh

poor Jamie god my heart breaks

something about Dani saying she’s sorry and Jamie just saying she has to go put Mikey to bed fucking breaks me. the fact she’s just lost everything, her home and the stability she was missing from her childhood that she got to have for such a short time, and she can probably barely even process it but all she knows is she has to take care of Mikey. fuck

god her destroying her bike because she’s just so devestated but anger and destruction is easier to feel than being sad.... ouch

“You don’t - you don’t have to feel anything right now. I’ll feel it for you. For the both of us” how dare u make me cry like this

god Jamie giving the scrunchie back feels like such a fucking sad little acknowledgement of her deciding she has to do everything on her own noooo

Dani trying to confront her mom god this is all so much for them to be dealing with I am so sad

tiny mikey saying “want nana” so much pain

Jamie just clinging to Dani when they’re sitting in the pew bc it’s the only way she can ask for help right now ow

“Don’t fight me” my fcking heart this chapter is so sad I need a drink

Jamie is far too young to be self-medicating her way through this god this hurts to read.

this chapter has such a melancholic loss of innocence vibe like going from the teenage parties and boys and track meets and only really having to worry about themselves to this massive amount of responsibility on their shoulders when nan dies (like as much as Jamie tries to push her away Dani takes on a huge burden in trying to help her too) it’s so fucking saaaad

Jamie just breaking and finally crying all this out in Dani’s arms holyyyy shit that will never not break my heart

god Jamie just. determined to raise Mikey on her own cause god knows what the alternative is :(

oof the thread of Jamie determined to fix things. baby sometimes u just cant.

Dani trying so hard to hold things together in the ways that she can :*(

god this ending I am in pain. i know it’s ultimately for the best like Jamie and Mikey absolutely could not carry on like that but.... bro... bro..... ouch

ok gonna go cry in the shower for a bit n then i’ll be back for ch9