#shoutout to my friend for making me aware that this was today!

[void-kissed]

Today is the 31st of March, which is also the International Trans Day of Visibility - to all trans and nonbinary selfshippers, I’m wishing you a great day today ^-^

[wildwood-faun]

The picture: me, going up to a bucket labelled "autistic traits". There is a lid on the bucket. I take the lid off and peer into the bucket. After a pause, I utter the words "what the fuck".

I put the lid back on the bucket.

[crazyyluvr]

request for basketball player miles x reader who’s just a sweetie and dedicates every point he makes to his girlfriend

ATSV: Miles takes joy in acknowledging you whenever he scores during his basketball games.

pairing: e1610!miles morales x fem!reader

cw: college au, fluff, just miles being miles, established relationship, mmm kissing

format: headcanons/bullet point

It’s my time to shine with my limited basketball knowledge hehe

I envision Miles playing point guard in the Visions Academy basketball team, making those plays and getting a lot of points and assists and whatnot.

Every time before a game of his, he’ll give you a kiss just before entering the locker room to do a last-minute briefing with his coach and team.

The chatter of the crowd sounded faint in comparison to your heartbeat when Miles grabbed your waist and pressed his lips against yours. You were shocked for a second before you reciprocated the passion and intensity, wrapping an arm around his neck to pull him closer.

After a few more seconds, you both pulled away.

“What was that for?” You asked, slightly out of breath.

Miles grinned, his eyes crinkling. “For luck.”

During the games themselves, Miles would be on a whole other level, knowing that you were watching and cheering for him.

He scored a whole lot more, and his teammates would smirk knowingly, aware of his motivation. His determination pulls his team up as well and makes them also play better together.

They call that the “Miles Effect,” which always starts with you just being there, of course.

When he’d score a point, he’d point at you after high-fiving his teammates. When he’d make a difficult basket, he’d blow you a kiss. And when you’d reciprocate it, the crowd had their own reactions.

Your face slightly heated up when Miles turned to you after a challenging layup, placing his fingers to his puckered lips and moving them towards your direction, a wink accompanying it.

The girls surrounding you screamed, making you wince a little from the volume as you quickly did the same to him so he could turn around and refocus on the game.

“Did you see that?! Miles Morales just blew me a kiss!!” A girl sitting in the row in front of you shrieked, jumping around. You frowned as her head bobbed up and down, obscuring your view of the game.

Her friend — bless her soul — slapped the back of her head and pushed her back down on her chair. “No you idiot, his girlfriend is sitting behind us. He wouldn’t blow a kiss to you.”

The friend turned and gave you an apologetic smile, which you waved off, gesturing that it was fine and that you appreciated what she did.

When the game ends in victory for Visions Academy, Miles ends up as the Player of the Game (for plot’s sake), and He answers the questions the Visions Academy Broadcasting team asked with a big smile on his lips.

“In your opinion, how good did you and your team perform today?” Ned asked, pointing the mic at Miles as the taller boy wiped his forehead a little with the towel hanging from his neck.

“We did pretty good, as we always do,” Miles answered, his lips quirked up. “I’m really proud of everyone’s performance today, and of course there were some rough patches, but we’ll learn from them and do even better next game.”

Ned nodded, satisfied with his answer. “How about your performance specifically? Was there anything behind your amazing moves today?”

Miles paused, staring at the camera in thought before turning back to Ned when he got his answer. “I dunno man, it’s always the same person motivating me every game.”

He turned back to the camera, pointing at it. “Shoutout to my biggest fan, my number one supporter, and the best girlfriend ever.” He then turned and actually looked at you, waving at you. “Gracias mi amor, te amo!”

Since the mic was also connected to the speakers around the court (their college is rich lmao), everyone heard his statement and started aw’ing at the sweet boy.

Although the boy was tired after his game, he still brought you to his house to eat dinner with his family, both of his parents congratulating him on his win (they watched his game ofc) and his Uncle Aaron applauding the plays he saw Miles used when watching it on the TV.

And teasing the both of you of course.

“Kid, you gotta attend his games more often if this is how well he’ll play,” Uncle Aaron joked with you, making Miles blush in embarrassment and lightly elbow his uncle.

“Uncle Aaron!” He said, a bit of a whine in his voice.

“You can’t deny him Miles, you did perform better,” Miles’ dad, Jeff, shrugged, putting a bowl of food on the table.

“Dad!” He snapped playfully, burying his red face in his hands.

You laughed, patting his shoulder. “Don’t worry, whether or not I motivate you, I’m gonna attend as much of your games as I can.” Rio cooed at the two of you, happy her little boy ended up with such a nice girl.

And boy did you have no idea how much that statement made his evening — and the rest of his week.

author’s note: i honestly had fun writing this, tho it feels kinda short :(( i hope this fit your expectations anon!

I love Miles, he’s such a sweetheart <33 feel free to send more requests people 💪

- mar

[here2bbtstrash]

Can you write a drabble with bestfriend yoongi finding out you have a spit kink and makes fun of you but turns out he’s into it too and … yea 🤭

anon i gotta give you props for so patiently playing the waiting game. i literally saved this req from the last time you sent it bc i really WANTED to do it but it took a lotta brain power 😂 had to have a whole brainstorming session

also shoutout to seokjin for making this relevant!!

still accepting freaky requests, lmk what ya wanna see!!

pairing: yoongi x reader word count: 1.1k contains: spit kink, erotic watermelon eating 🥴, i promise there's no actual food play tho, friends to lovers ig, tiny bit of praise kink

“Eat.” Yoongi sets the plate of fruit and bowl down in front of you, and panic instantly rockets through your nervous system.

“I-I don’t like watermelon,” you say before immediately realizing that isn’t going to solve your problem. The issue isn’t whether or not you eat it.

“That’s not a thing,” Yoongi says decisively as he squints at you. He can clearly tell you are acting strange. “Everyone likes watermelon.”

“Are you questioning my taste in fruit?”

Your best friend rolls his eyes. “Well, I have about ten pounds of it, courtesy of Jin. Help me eat it or don’t. I don’t give a shit.” The silver bracelets on his wrist jangle as he reaches for a slice. You make a mental note to kill Seokjin the next time you see him.

Frozen in place, you can only watch helplessly as Yoongi takes a bite, pink fruit melting quickly under lips and teeth. His jaw works for a second, and then he brings the bowl up to his chin and spits three seeds out in quick succession.

Fuck.

“This one does have a lot of seeds,” he mutters mostly to himself, frowning into the bowl.

Of fucking course it does.

He suddenly seems to become aware of your eyes on him, because he looks up at you, brows furrowing together with agitation. “What is this, a fucking mukbang? Will you put on the damn show?”

Right. Extraordinary Attorney Woo. He specifically invited you over to get caught up on the latest episodes. Not to stare at him while he eats fruit.

You fumble for the remote, trying not to look as flustered as you feel, and clearly fail, because you can hear Yoongi laughing around another mouthful. “What the fuck is wrong with you today?”

“Leave me alone.”

You manage to divert enough brain cells from thinking about your best friend’s mouth to remember how to pull up Netflix.

The show starts, and you sink back against the couch, extremely grateful for the distraction.

Except it doesn’t work. You are unfortunately laser-focused on Yoongi as he reaches for another slice, and the first bite is accompanied with a gratuitous sucking sound as he attempts to keep the juice in his mouth.

He’s not quite successful, and when a few drops roll down his chin, you’re hit with the nearly overwhelming desire to lick them up.

“You can literally have some if you want it,” he talks with his mouth full, wiping the back of his hand over his neck. You know he’s talking about the watermelon, but there’s already a steady pulse between your legs at the other opportunity that sentence offers you.

He picks up the bowl again to spit into it, having to try a few times to get all the seeds out of his mouth, and you’re not going to make it. Especially not when he reaches for a third slice and makes a low hum of appreciation at the first bite. The noise thrums through you, so intense you swear you’re vibrating.

Yoongi’s eyes catch yours, and when he sees you’re still watching him intently, he’s clearly had enough.

“Alright,” he says mid-chew, picking up the remote to pause the show and then slamming it back down. “If I’m that fucking gross, you can just go home.”

“Not gross,” you correct quickly, before you can decide whether or not it’s a good idea.

Yoongi looks entirely confused, but he must finally be able to read the expression on your face, see the way you go slack-jawed when he pulls the bowl up to his mouth and spits into it a third time.

“So, what, you have a watermelon fetish?”

“Not watermelon,” you say softly.

His gaze jumps from your face to the bowl and back, and he seems to finally put the pieces together.

“Oh my god, are you one of those ‘spit in my mouth, daddy’ girls?”

An embarrassed heat shoots up your neck, and you can only nod.

“That’s fucking freaky,” he laughs, enough that his shoulders shake. “I can’t believe I never knew this.” Your brain thinks to tell him that you don’t appreciate being kink-shamed, and then his next words make you forget how to string a sentence together, or even what words are.

“Open your mouth, then.”

Without hesitation, you do as you're told. It’s impossible to miss the smug expression on Yoongi’s face as he gets to his knees and moves towards you.

“So eager. You want it that bad?”

Your tongue lolls out as you nod, and you inhale sharply when his hand comes to grab your face and hold it in place, silver rings digging into your skin in a way that sends sparks through you.

“Then I want you to take it like a good girl, okay?”

You couldn’t suppress the strangled noise that sentence works out of your open mouth if you tried. Yoongi’s eyes glint– he’s clearly enjoying this power. The strong muscle of his jaw flexes, and then he leans down to spit into your waiting mouth. It’s too damn hot for you to stop the desperate whine that follows.

“Want more?”

When you whimper again, Yoongi seems satisfied with the response. He sits up a little taller on his knees, and you can see his tongue moving behind closed lips. There’s more saliva this time– a lot more; he lets it fall slowly out of his mouth, off of his tongue, feeding it to you one drop at a time, so slow it’s nearly torture. You squeeze your eyes shut and your thighs together at the same time, your hips just barely starting to rock, in desperate need of friction.

You hear and feel it as he spits a third time, fast and aggressive now, so fucking dirty that a shiver rips up your spine.

Yoongi’s fingers brush over your jaw, and you take the encouragement to close your mouth and swallow.

“Good girl.” His voice is dark with lust, and you instantly need more. Eyes still closed, you drop your mouth open again in a silent request.

It takes you by surprise when his tongue meets yours instead, and you can’t help but outright moan as he licks into your mouth, tasting sweet and heady. You find his body under your hands, fingers moving to tangle in the long dark hair at the nape of his neck, enjoying the low groan you pull out of him when you tug gently, the way his lips close around your tongue and suck.

His hands are already fumbling for the button of your jeans, and you’re both breathless when he breaks the kiss momentarily to better see what he’s doing.

“Fuck, how about I spit on your clit next?”

You don’t expect to survive the evening.

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Overpowering

Omega scents shouldn’t overpower an Alphas. But sometimes those scents can be relaxing.

AlphaTanaka x OmegaM!reader

Shoutout to @littlexbimbo for helping me with selection ideas!

Overpowering smells were supposed to be repulsive to an Alpha. At least, that’s what your mother always told you.

It didn’t help that she was irritated that out of all your siblings, you were the only boy. And the only Omega.

Your mother believed boys should be Alphas and girls be Omegas. She only resigned to the fact that she was wrong when the pack doctor confirmed it, so she tried to make you take repressors for your scent. When you refused, your father had backed you up saying it was your choice. And since he was her Alpha, your mother listened.

You weren’t like other Omegas. Not only was your scent aggravating to Alphas, you were never submissive to any of them. Your sisters, your father, every Alpha you were raised around wanted you to be strong, to not need your Alpha. Only want them.

So you never backed down from anyone. Alpha, Beta, their title didn’t matter. You respected those you chose to, and no one could scare you into backing down from what you wanted. People often forgot you were an Omega entirely.

Your fathers had been raised in the same pack, so your best friend was another Omega, one that did cower when challenged. Even though you were a year younger, you never let anyone take advantage of Asahi’s submissive nature- you were almost glad when he mated, to have an Alpha who could protect him. But you never offered to meet him, so Asahi never pushed you. When he met Daichi and Suga, an Alpha and Beta, that protected him as they would a pack member, you backed down from acting as his guard a bit. But you still kept an eye out. And that was how you saw the whispers getting to him.

You trailed just behind him as he hunched his shoulders, following him out of sight as he made his way to the gym. You’d never gone to his volleyball practices or games before, knowing that his friends would have his back, but today was different.

There was supposed to be a practice match today, and judging by the things you’d heard, a player on the opposing team had deemed your best friend the weak link. You took a seat near the back of the stands, watching as the other team entered and the player seemed to pick him out of the team to taunt quietly.

Your anger rose, and with it your scent was growing stronger. You knew it was noticeable when the other students watching seemed to sniff the air, glaring at you briefly before moving away. You saw the moment the scent registered to Asahi as well. Not only did he seem to relax, but his head swiveled until he found you, ghost of a smile on his face. The other players seem to bristle as the scent washed over them, except one.

You watched as a Karasuno player seemed to inhale deeply, his body relaxing in his stretches. It had your head cocking before you were aware of the movement.

Intriguing.

When the game ended in Karasuno’s favor, you were leaning on the outside wall of the gym, waiting for Asahi to be on his way out to walk home. You saw him coming, but before you could stand up straight, you saw the other player step in front of him.

“You surprised me out there, I’ll admit. But it’s more surprising that you’re the ace. The little ginger has more fire on the court than you do.” Your anger roiled in your veins, your inner wolf growling fiercely, and the thought of people around faded away as you knew your scent wafted over to them. “God, is that you!? Your fear smells disgusting!”

Behind you, you could hear Daichi, arguing with someone. “He is my mate! Let go of me!”

“Just…Watch.”

The other player didn’t register you were there as your feet moved silently. Silent but deadly. You grabbed his shoulder, whipping him around, “Actually bitch, the smell’s mine. And I don’t know what ‘fear’ you’re smelling, but it sure as hell ain’t what’s coming from me.” You leaned in close, taking a sniff around his collar, “But you on the other hand? All I smell from you is fear.”

You heard the Alpha growl, taking a closer step toward you, and you grabbed a fistful of his shirt. “You better let go of me, you pathetic excuse of an Alpha.”

You snorted, sneering at him, “I know you don’t think I’m stepping up because I’m his Alpha. Just like you really shouldn’t believe that every Omega is going to cower to you.” His eyes went wide as you shoved his chest, sending him sprawling onto the sidewalk.

“You- You’re-“

“I am an Omega. I don’t know who the fuck taught you about being an Alpha, but you must’ve skipped a few damn lessons.” Your inner wolf bared its teeth, watching as the Alpha audibly whined before retreating with his figurative tail between his legs. Belatedly, you realized your scent was still overpowering the air, no doubt leaving the other wolves on edge. But as you glanced back at the team watching the exchange, you realized the same boy as before had his eyes closed and looked utterly serene. Nudging Asahi, who still looked shell shocked by the whole thing, you dropped your voice to a whisper, “Who the hell is that and how is he not bothered like everyone else right now?”

Asahi nervously scanned his team, witnessing each of them trying to calm themselves by associating your scent with ‘friend’ and not ‘foe’, when he realized one of them looked totally at peace. “T-Tanaka?”

Said boy’s head snapped over, Asahi having been too anxious to lower his voice, “You alright, Asahi?” He stopped to look at the others, blinking, “Why does everyone look so bothered?”

Suga cocked his head, “Tanaka, did you see nothing that just happened?”

“Huh? Naw, something smelled so calming. I feel like I just took a nap.” The shaved headed boy punctuated the sentence by stretching out his arms with a satisfied sigh, “Why? What happened?”

You watched as a short boy with dark hair and a blonde spot jumped into his face, “Some guy just tried to give Asahi shit!”

The boy blinked again, face contorting, “Oh, hell no! This guy??” Tanaka jutted his chin toward you, and your anger hadn’t fully subsided yet.

“Are you deaf or something?” You stomped toward him, a scared Asahi trailing after you as his words in an attempt to calm you went unheeded, “I sure as hell wouldn’t try to scare my best friend! All of you stupid Alphas and your lack of understanding about Omegas is gonna make me kick someone’s ass!” Your tirade ended as you noticed Tanaka’s eyes had drifted shut again.

“It’s you.” He muttered, “The scent is you, isn’t it?” Your growl made his brain process the last few minutes of conversation before his eyes snapped back to you, “Wait! I’m sorry! It makes sense now that you’re the one Asahi always talked about. I didn’t mean to offend you!”

You stepped back, surprised, before your eyes narrowed suspiciously, “What kind Alpha apologizes to an Omega he’s never met?” The ones you associated with did. But that was because of your father, and how much he spoke about respect. Any Alpha he would let you keep in your life would treat an Omega the same way they’d treat an Alpha. Strangers didn’t. Tanaka didn’t know you. Why would he apologize?

You didn’t wait for Tanaka’s reply. You left.

Asahi was shocked to say the least, when he saw you turn and run. You never backed down, from anyone. Why did you run this time? Tanaka seemed to panic as soon as your scent faded from the air, “Oh man, bro, what do I do!? I can’t believe I offended him like that!”

“It’ll- uh, it’ll be okay. Y/N can be forgiving.” Asahi answered quietly, “He didn’t exactly trust Daichi at first either.”

The captain sputtered, “What??”

Asahi nodded nervously, “You- you didn’t notice? W-When we were first on a team together, he’d hide and watch us. Said it was to make sure I was being treated okay.”

Tanaka just gripped Asahi’s shoulders, “That was your friend?? I thought you said his scent was strong and people hated it!” He quickly released the taller boy’s shoulders when he heard the growl of his best friend beside him.

Asahi was flabbergasted, “People do!”

“You don’t?” Suga prodded.

“That is literally the most calming scent I’ve ever smelled, bros.” Tanaka stared off in the direction you’d run, wondering how he could make up this offense so you’d let him be around you more to relax in your calming effects.

Asahi found you as he exited the school grounds, your feet easily falling into step beside him as the two of you made your way back home. You could tell he was weighing how to bring something up to you, so you sighed, “I’ll be by tomorrow to apologize to your team.”

“You don’t apologize.”

You shrugged, “They’re kinda like your pseudo-pack, right? They take care of you when I can’t. So they’ve earned my apology.”

When you walked into the gym after school, everyone could sense your presence. You watched a tall blonde one that seemed to bite his own cheek to avoid making a comment, but your eyes searched the bald one you’d yelled at. Marching over, you were vaguely aware of how nervous he looked, “I’m not here to yell at you again. I’m here to…say I’m sorry. I forget sometimes that there are Alphas that will protect Asahi, and that’s all you were trying to do.”

Tanaka took a deep breath that seemed to get lodged in his throat, and he cocked his head, “I accept your apology but…you- you smell different.”

Your brows furrowed before you remembered, scuffing the toe of your sneaker into the ground awkwardly, “I didn’t want to upset everyone again. So I took repressors today.”

“Please don’t do that.” Your head snapped up from you were examining the floorboards, and you surprised to see his face so serious, “You smell…artificial now. The way you smelled yesterday, that was nice and relaxing. This is almost clinical.”

“No one describes me as relaxing.” You watched him warily, arms crossing over your chest.

“Then no one appreciates your scent the way they should.” He cleared his throat, seeming to come to some sort of decision, “What do I need to do to court you?”

To say you were startled was an understatement. Most Omegas, they had a set of traits or actions that they required from a potential mate. You’d never given it much thought, because you knew you didn’t need an Alpha. This one was full of surprises though, it seemed, so you gave him a soft smirk, “I don’t need an Alpha. So you have to prove I should want one.”

His mouth hung open as you turned, already making it to the door before his voice was working, “I’ll do it! I’ll prove it to you.”

“I look forward to it, Tanaka.”

Masterlist

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 18/01/2024

MAGFest 2019: SiIvaGunner Presents - High Quality Ripping

Season 3 Featured on: MAGFest 2019

Presented by Nape Mango, Omknee, ShonicTH, Chaze the Chat, Harmony Friends, Trofflesby, Craz Xexe, Agent

Yeah, okay, this is cheating in a lot of ways - this is not on the SiIvaGunner channel, and its obviously not even a rip. But I felt it necessary to commemorate, as I mentioned briefly in Because I Love You, its finally time for MAGFest once again, and the SiIvaGunner team is to host their own panel there tomorrow! And in the spirit of that, I want to just...talk about SiIvaGunner and MAGFest, at least for a little bit. Because the first two panels in particular, the ones that marked the beginning and end of Season 3, are some of my all-time favorite videos associated with the SiIvaGunner channel.

A big part of the identity and gimmick of the channel itself, as you're likely well aware, is the bait-and-switch - to present it as a faceless entity simply uploading video game music, only to instead feature jokes, shitposts, edits, and so forth. Part of maintaining that kayfabe, then, is to intentionally obscure who makes what behind the scenes, to keep the real people under wraps for those who aren't going to dig deeper, in order to further sell the illusion of being an official VGM upload. The team does of course still give credit when its relevant, as any rip can be featured on an album be given full credits there, but just that degree of separation alone between casual fans and ones willing to download an album has probably led to a few too many people being unaware of who made their favorite rips. Back then, I typically fell somewhere in the middle - I wasn't actively using music listening software and thus missed out on listening to albums for a long time, but was still aware of some of the big names you'd see in comments sections, saw some shoutouts from Twitter, the works.

Yet with the two MAGFest panels of 2018 and 2019 respectively, it felt like the first time that the magnitude of what SiIvaGunner is and how much it means to people was revealed to me for the first time ever. The uploaded recording of the 2018 panel, posted by Chaze's own account, features a shot about seven minutes in that turns the camera to the crowd - and it's an absolutely packed-full room of nerds just like me. And even though I've never been able to go to any of these MAGFest panels due to travel costs and complications...just seeing how many people truly do care about SiivaGunner, in such a tangible way, something more than a number...it resonated with me, yknow?

Beyond that, these panels are just such fascinating pieces of history for the channel, such good time capsules in so many ways - and that's in a lot of ways why I chose to highlight the 2019 panel in particular. Rather than discussing the upbringings of the channel, it features members of the team reminiscing and going through Season 3's timeline of events in particular, going into surprising detail into the thought process and direction the various pieces of the year took - while also giving insights into the production of the Christmas Comeback Crisis, King for a Day Tournament, and more. I feel like with the turn from Season 3 to Season 4 Episode 1, you can really notice that the idea of "hype" for SiIvaGunner content becoming so much more prominent, so much more deliberately handled by the team, which is made all the more evident by the King for Another Day Tournament reveal live on stage.

Man, look, it's an hour-long panel, and there's so many small things that I still remember from it, despite last having seen it five years ago. The members talking about their favorite rips, giving a round of applause to all the rippers who couldn't come join them at the panel or on-stage, the very funny last-minute rips made to "celebrate" the channel being terminated a day earlier (one of which I've embedded as the Bandcamp link), and even some slight discussions on what SiIvaGunner as a channel means to the team, what it represents, and what their goals have been overtime. And, of course, the fucking incredible PowerPoint hijinx with Inspector Gadget, which I am 100% going to take as confirmed canon that Gadget's level of sentience and awareness of the real world is just the same as Woodman's and The Voice.

I have, of course, been told a number of times that I overanalyze SiIvaGunner, that I'm uncovering depth that's clearly not intentional, looking too much into a silly meme channel. And sure, I'd admit that I do overthink things to a degree, anyone who read Vote Responsibly!! should be able to tell you as much. Yet its stuff like these in-depth behind-the-scenes looks, these moments of getting a face and a voice to attach to the works, that really just felt super validating to me even back then - that the intentions and goals of the channel that I myself had picked up on were in fact some sort of direction that the team itself were steering toward. And though Nape Mango does indeed declare in this very panel that "Everything is a coincidence with SiIvaGunner", I'm forever in awe at just how good the team has been at lining those coincidences up into something genuinely incredible.

We SilvaGunner, We Rip.

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: gayminecraftmen

today's interviewee is @gayminecraftmen, a mcytblr veteran and member of dreamlying! below is a transcript of the questions and answers, today under a readmore for your scrolling convenience.

Q: What, to the best of your recollection, was your experience in early MCYTblr?

A: This is going to be very longwinded - I would say that I had a pretty unique experience during that time. I joined in early July of 2020 after being inspired by georgeeehd/tommyofcolor/lmanburg - all the same person, Reese's blog. Can't for the life of me remember what his first url was. I got my kickstart in the fandom through him, I started out as one of his anons and when I decided to make a blog of my own he gave me a shoutout. The dream team fandom was still very small at the time, so i'd say a lot of my "popularity" was only because I was one of the firsts. There was nothing truly special about what I was posting at the start of my blog, it was basically all dnf. This eventually went hand in hand with truthing, the thing I'm sure most people remember me for, and something I'll go into more detail on later.

Now, as for the more unique aspect of my time; I never looked at my dashboard. I mean, I didn't need to! All I ever needed to do was look at my notifications and people were feeding me information about what was happening in the fandom. I was 15 during my time in mcytblr, I had no real interest in building a community in the fandom if the community was seemingly being built around me. I felt like a celebrity, people in my ask box were concerningly parasocial towards me - I've got some old screenshots of asks that still creep me out a bit. It was all a huge unhealthy ego boost that made me very manic at times. Anyway - because I rarely even checked other people's blogs at the time, I'm a pretty unreliable source when it comes to anything but my own experience. I ended up deactivating on March 13th 2021 because I hadn't been genuinely into mcyt since.. I want to say October or even September of 2020 and my blog had been losing traction since the start of 2021. It just wasn't fun for me anymore.

Q: What was the general fandom attitude towards creators? More specifically, has the attitude around "boundaries" evolved since then?

A: Like I said I can't really speak on the general fandom, but I can say that in my circle the general concensus was "they're celebrities, they'll never see us, who cares?" I mean, it was tumblr, there were no creators around to see us talk about them. There was truly no worry of any consequences. For my truthing circle specifically, if you saw gay, you said gay. Later on down the line I realized that no, dream and george are not planning their honeymoon in Barcelona, but it ended up being funnier to continue the bit than denounce it altogether.

Q: I recall that you were part of "dreamlying". What was that like? (and, as an aside; is it odd to be considered infamous within a tumblr fan community?)

A: Dreamlying was, and still is, just a friend group. That's literally it. Yes, it's a friend group infamous for doxxing, and truthing, and starting a number of rumors, but still, it's not like we were constantly scheming the next big heist. You can find a number of posts detailing the origins of our group on roxytonic's blog, all conveniently tagged as "#dreamlying" so I won't get into all that at the risk of being redundant. And yes, it's incredibly weird to me that people still consider us to be infamous. Myself, especially as I actually only had a bit over 500 followers. (granted, I am aware that many people checked my blog without following and even more had me blocked). I think my least favorite part about it all is all the lies that other people tell about us. Like, while going through your blog I saw a post where someone had said I was the one who wrote the SBI crit post, a post i hadn't even known existed until I saw you talking about it! As far as I know, whoever wrote that post never had anything to do with dreamlying, and they certainly weren't a member at any point. Yes, we are partially to blame for spreading a bunch of lies about ourselves for fun, but to see just how much that spiraled out of our hands is astounding.

Q: Are there any specific dramas/discourse that you remember from the "dreamlying" era?

A: The dreamlying hijink that I think is the most infamous was the leaking of the fact that dream wasn't registered to vote. This was veeerry early on, and wasn't even a group effort, (as far as I remember nothing pertaining to doxxing ever was. It was usually just one member going off on an internet excursion on their own and sharing with the class as they went). I don't even think dreamlying had even been formed yet, or it was incredibly early. Either way, that can be attributed to Reese, as I'm sure many people remember. Finding this out was as simple as going into Florida's voting records and searching up Dream's name, something that had been doxxed by others beforehand. Frankly, I still don't understand why this was such a big deal to people.

My personal favorite dreamlying happenings were the more absurd rumors that we had started. My personal favorite being that dream's legal team sent a cease and desist to dreamwasfound/georgesoot for defamation of character, which was what we told people was the reason for his deactivation. It's insane to me that anyone ever believed that for even a second. Another favorite, one that never really caught on with the public, was that Ranboo was an ex member of dreamlying. That one was never stated outright but I remember a few subtle hints being thrown out. Sadly, I don't think anyone took the bait on that one.

Q: Moving on from dreamlying-- you mentioned being part of "ebblr" [enderbees tumblr]. Was that different from your experience in previous fringe communities?

A: Not to stroke my own ego, but I do think I had a large part in the creation of ebblr. A lot of the larger ebblr bloggers were my anons at one point. I would say the main difference in my time discussing enderbees, was that I never watched a single tubbo or ranboo stream. Every single piece of information that I had to go off of was sent to me through asks. I barely made any original posts on the topic, again mostly just responding to asks. I remember when people were first trying to think of a name for the ship, I jokingly proposed the name "boobees." I got sent death threats for that.

Q: What do you remember from that time?

A: The enderbees timeline is endlessly hilarious to me. I can't remember all of the specifics but I do recall there being a decently specific timeline of their relationship that people agreed upon. What I remember the most though was when Ranboo came to live with Tubbo for awhile on a visa (unrelated: I believe there was also serious talk of him committing tax fraud with said visa). At the point of the visit, people were already convinced they were dating. It seemed that Ranboo was a pretty ungrateful guest and I believe he ended up leaving early. That's when people started theorizing the breakup. It was later revealed on a stream that Tubbo had Ranboo muted on twitter - this really cemented things. I think people even outside of ebblr could see that their relationship was rocky after that trip, they weren't doing streams together much at all and their friend groups seemed to divide. Again, all of this information was fed to me secondhand, so I may be missing a few beats or be hyperbolizing some things, but this is how it seemed to me as far as I can remember.

Q: Is there anything else you'd like to speak on/about?

A: Don't believe anything about dreamlying that doesn't come directly from a member's mouth (roxytonic's blog being an outlier in this case). Second-hand accounts are essentially useless here, considering how much we lied, or "poisoned the well" as roxy put it. So, unless you're specifically looking to gather information on how we were percieved, most of what you're gonna find on us is simply untrue. If anyone happens to be reading this interview and has more questions, I am probably open to answering them as long as they aren't too prying! My inbox on gayminecraftmen is always open, and I really do love talking about my experiences in this fandom.

[biglisbonnews]

Where Did All Those Kevin Hart Memes Come From? Listen, Gen Z has a strange sense of humor. Maybe the pandemic broke our brains a bit because there was a time when "They did surgery on a grape" was inescapable and that cursed lip-bite photo of Lin-Manuel Miranda was swirling the internet. 2023 has introduced a new and unlikely source for meme fodder: Kevin Hart.And before you say anything, yes everyone is aware he's a comedian. That's not the funny part. Somehow, people are finding Hart's strangest photos and attaching them to nonsensical captions, using them as reaction memes and looking to the short king's expressive face to feel something. No one seems to be able to pinpoint the origin, but everyone definitely hopped on the bandwagon. \u201cme after laughing too hard at all these kevin hart memes\u201d — lucia (@lucia) 1677562654 \u201cme tryna come up with my own kevin hart meme\u201d — KP (@KP) 1677519309 \u201cHow many variants of Kevin Hart are there\u201d — jdp (@jdp) 1677539988 There's clearly a lot of material to work with, but some people have become concerned with where all these photos came from. Did we miss a memo? \u201cThere gotta be a Kevin Hart photo database cause how is yall finding them\u201d — 4 \u2b51 Goku Uniform (@4 \u2b51 Goku Uniform) 1677737075 There seem to be a few categories of Hart pictures.There's lit Kevin:These Kevin Hart memes are LIT 🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/h6caYGXrr0— 𝓥𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓲🖤 (@vxxix__) March 1, 2023 There's serious Kevin:Kevin Hart focused on finding who started the trend pic.twitter.com/65K11U5mid— Antonio Ramos (@TonioSkits) February 28, 2023 I saw ‘Die Hart’… The very next day, these Kevin Hart memes started showing up. So I get it… It has to be about him wanting to be taken serious as an actor in the movie… And that makes everything that much funnier lol pic.twitter.com/AR4bx5NlF5— 𝒴𝑒𝓈, 𝑀𝒶𝒹𝒶𝓂 (@kdotvici) February 28, 2023 We also have sexy Kevin, which should be used responsibly:Kevin Hart: pic.twitter.com/aManO5aMYW— Super Sexy Sailor Super 17 (happy arc) (@SailorSuper17) February 28, 2023 And my personal favorite, medieval Kevin:“You must be Kevin Hart in a wig with armor and a cup if you think that we fucking”Me: pic.twitter.com/CV2ydia9uK— violette . (@scxba_) March 1, 2023 And a gracious user made sure to shoutout the blueprint for the smize king, Shemar Moore. \u201ceveryone\u2019s talking about kevin hart but we can\u2019t ignore the blueprint\u201d — shinji ikari bot (@shinji ikari bot) 1677685857 By the looks of it, Hart's photos have been littered all over his Instagram and Google Images for the world to enjoy, but sometimes it takes a while to recognize the full potential of a good meme, even if it doesn't entirely make sense. Hart doesn't even understand it, but he's not mad either. Can somebody tell me why I am trending ….I got endless memes being sent to my damn phone from a bunch of my dumbass friends 😂😂😂😂😂 WTF is going on???? 😂😂😂😂😂 Gotta admit that they are funny as hell tho https://t.co/XafyYyBlhm— Kevin Hart (@KevinHart4real) February 27, 2023 This is so fucking true…I have no idea what’s going on 😂😂😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/c605TKilDg— Kevin Hart (@KevinHart4real) February 27, 2023 So which Kevin Hart are you today? Don't worry, there's so much to choose from. Photo courtesy of Linnea Stephan/BFA https://www.papermag.com/kevin-hart-memes-2659492870.html

[ziracona]

I used to be way more of a doormat and appeasing because I was raised to be polite, but after enough people taking advantage of that, by college I was like “I’m really done wasting my time enabling horrible behavior. Look, bud, you now get the same level of thoughtfulness/tact/politeness as you give—ima mirror whatever approach you come at me with, because I don’t have the energy to put 110% into a relationship while you give 40 anymore” and it’s so funny that like without fail the kind of people you’ll show your favorite movie to super excited who will then go “Eh I didn’t really like it it was kinda boring” or be even worse instead of like, saying nothing, or finding a polite thing to say, are sooo shocked when you just honestly tell them what you think of stuff they share back.

Like it’s almost uproariously funny. One dude was like “I’m gonna make fun of you & your taste & fave game for reccing it to me since you liked it so much yourself, bc while I haven’t even touched this video game personally, I watched a game sins video on it one time, so I have a PHD in knowing it has no redeeming qualities,” and then was just offended out of his head at how hurtful I was for when he wanted me to watch a show he liked and I was like “Thanks for thinking of me, but I know the MC from the show this is a spinoff of, and find her impossibly obnoxious, and I just don’t think the story would be worth it to me,” like just couldn’t believe I’d be so tactless. Nother dude did the exact same thing, & then was so offended I didn’t pretend to not hate a ship in a mutual fandom whenever he kept bringing it up over and over despite already knowing I both hated, and didn’t want to talk about it. Knew a chick who would tell me she didn’t like things I brought up all the time, or thought my comments were stupid, but then was so offended any time I like, mentioned how much I was relieved a character from a game we both played that she liked & I hated, finally died & left the story.

Like without fail, that kind of person is always /so/ shocked, and /so/ offended if someone treats them even a less mean version fo the way they treat everyone they talk to. Occasionally after I start doing this bc the subtle kindness approach didn’t work, a person will go “Wow I’ve been kind of an ass huh?” & improve but 9 times out of 10 it’s just Comedy Central with them failing to see any kind of double standard but lost in the way I’m not Yes Maning them into next year like the idealized npc version of me in their head. But anyway this is on my mind not even because of that all too common (esp in Avid befriending-many-people-&-jumping-fro-1-to-the-next fandom spaces) shitass personality Load Out, but because whenever I do have nicer people I interact w in such circles, which happens not like, infrequently, but way less frequent than the ones who suck, sadly, it’s unimaginably funny to me in the opposite direction—like I’ll just be there talking to them nicely about something I can’t stand — not lying or anything just like, yeah I don’t mind listening to you talk about this movie I hate, bc I like you, and I have no need to tell you how I feel about the movie—you didn’t ask. You just wanna infodump. & I got no problem w that—I like hearing you talk, & you don’t feel a need to cut down & preach at everything I ever say, so we actually got something good here back and forth. But inside my head against the backdrop of how many mediocre to shitty people I’ve known recently I just am like “Baby girl, I have things in my loadout for you & only you that you can’t even imagine.”

[theladyyavilee]

anways I hope people who use resources provided by content creators on tumblr without giving the credit/appreciation (as in a like or reblog) requested by the creator step on ALL the legos and lose ALL their passwords actually 🙃

[sixeyesgojo]

kiss it better

Summary: You had a shitty day at the store. Gojo is here to comfort you <3

Characters: Gojo x Reader

Word count: 1100

A/N: The past few weeks have been super rough - personal matters and on top of that, natural disasters + "I could lose my closest friends thanks to this" type of rough - so I wrote this pretty self-indulgently because I seriously need to be comforted lol. But that doesn't mean you can't imagine yourself in it!! The fanart is fem reader but I don't think I indicated any gender in the fic. Shoutout to the folks who work with customers, you guys are doing an amazing job! Thank you.

This entire fic was inspired by the art by the amazing @yuusagi-chii that I commissioned; check out her blog and leave a reblog on her artworks!! ♥ - posted with permission from the artist

There had been nothing to do. The whole time, Satoru was just lazing on the couch, legs stretched out on the entire thing, and waiting for you to come home as the television showed nothing but garbage.

As soon as they perceived the sound of your dangling keys in front of the door, Satoru’s ears perked up. He had been so bored all day, not knowing what to do on his free day; he was used to being busy all day, every day, around the clock. The lethargy got to the extent where he cleaned every nook and cranny in your shared home, did all the laundry for the week, reorganized the cupboard where his treasures were stored and even took a nap. Originally, he had planned to kidnap you to go on a date with him but unfortunately, your workplace said otherwise, wrecking his not-so-planned-out plan. Admittedly, it did piss him off a little but there was nothing to be done. Satoru just missed you incredibly much since he was usually gone for most days.

Your heavy footsteps that came from the entrance hall, the way your keys seemed to make louder noise than usual and the soft sigh he could hear all indicated that you had a shitty day so far. It really wasn’t rocket science for Satoru to notice little things about you. Probably entitled customers again, he thought. Satoru was well aware that working in a customer-oriented branch had to be unrewarding, draining even. Still, he wanted to tantalize you a bit, to lighten the mood and ease his boredom a little – he would do that on normal days.

However, ‘normal’ was quickly discarded when he saw your face: a hefty scowl and… were those teary eyes? His previous demeanor immediately dropped and a serious one took over. This was definitely not okay.

Satoru had noticed the last few weeks had been a little rough on you. On normal days, teasing you was his favorite thing to do and quite frankly, it was enjoyable to you as well as it lifted your mood after a stressful shift… but today must have been the tipping point and he knew better than to tease you in times like these. The last thing he wanted to be was the cause of your tears.

“Had a rough day?” Satoru asked as he met you in the hallway, wasting no time to slip his arms around your body. Crushing into his chest, you simply nodded without looking at him. You feared that if you did, tears would fall and you would no longer be in control of your emotions. The entire time you spent at work had been filled with some particularly grumpy customers you had to tend to. You had to deal with utterly disrespectful behavior towards you. Yet, you had to stay friendly and polite when, throughout the day, there had been several instances that made you want to quit your job right then and there.

Today had been terrible, so being in the amenity of your home felt uncommonly relieving. In addition to that, being in the comforting space of Satoru’s gentle hug washed off your exhaustion. It was fine to bask in the solace of his embrace for a moment, wasn’t it? Was it okay for you to give in a little and enjoy the moment for all its worth?

“Do you want to talk about it?” “Just the usual trouble but way worse for some reason,” you mumbled into his chest, just loud enough for him to hear. “Tell me about it, baby. It’s better if you get it off of your chest as soon as possible.”

You breathed out, the emotional dam you’ve built today finally breaking, “It’s just… people suck… They s-snap at me for the smallest things… and I know some of those incidents are just part of the job – I really get it a-and I try so hard to stay polite but… it’s just… very hard.”

Throughout your ramblings – how a customer had yelled at you for a minor mistake, how another one treated you like something lesser because of something that was not your mistake, how people would insist on being right and more – he listened intently to each and every word… All the while, Satoru had gently stroked your back with his palm to calm you down. “Say, Toru…there must be something wrong with me for them… to treat me like this, isn’t there?” you finally asked. “No, honey. You are perfectly fine,” he said, suppressing how pissed he actually was at the people who dared treating you badly. “Their attitude just sucks and they don’t deserve being served by someone beautiful like you. Maybe I should give them a piece of my mind some day…” “I just— I don’t even know. People are so mean… and for w-what? Is kindness in this world really that hard to find?” you lamented, choking back a sob as you buried your face deeper into him.

“Can I help you feel better in any way? Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?” Satoru asked sweetly but the frown on his face made his worry very evident. He didn’t like it at all whenever you came back emotionally drained like this. All Satoru wanted to do was to go and ‘teach them a well-deserved lesson’ but he knew well that it would be against your wishes, so he had no choice but to sit back and be there for you when you needed him the most.

“Let me pamper and spoil my angel for today, hm?” he whispered affectionately, pressing kisses to the top of your head. Finally, you raised your head to look at him. The teary stains on your cheeks and sad expression broke his heart and he swore you could hear it cracking in his ribcage. “I just want you to hold me right now, wanna feel you close to me and nothing more,” you admitted and slung your arms around him tightly.

Promptly taking the chance, Satoru placed a sweet and loving kiss on your forehead. The sensation of his lips on your skin eased a big part of your discomfort away, making you sigh in comfort for the first time in what felt like decades. The effect this man had on you was inexplicable; the way he had the power to make you feel better by simply being there was truly magical. It made your heart flutter in a thousand ways and more.

“Then I’ll have no choice but to kiss it better.”

Taglist (open): @satosuguslut @assbuttbaek @melonnbar @delammi @silversatoru @princesatoru

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

26 for the prompts? perhaps w the cat n mouse lads :3 (also look danny i did it i sent a prompt are u proud)

I...actually don't remember what the prompt was for this one, but I'm 87% sure it was "I'm not that scary, am I?"

So fine since y'all keep asking for 'em, here's more of the cat and mouse bois. Shoutout to @gabbydafurry and an anon for finally giving them names.

--

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“I said no.”

“I’ll make pollo asado for dinner, we can eat it together while we watch!”

Aaron sighed and rubbed his hands against his forehead, trying to ease the dull throb that had yet to wane over the past two days. His headache certainly wasn’t being helped by the constant badgering of his...roommate, for a lack of better words (as well as being a title so eagerly self bestowed by the cat in question) but much like many of their other interactions, his resolve was starting to wear thin. Usually, he was able to hold his ground for at least a week until he was bribed into giving the other some type of social interaction with the promise of his favorite foods. Today, however, the poor mouse just wanted a moment’s peace free from knocking on the walls or calling through the cracks until he answered, and if that meant watching some stupid movie then fine.

Plus, Lucas did know how to make some incredible Mexican food.

“...fine,” Aaron conceded after a pause, the pressure behind his eyes giving him a sharp pang before fading to its usual ache, almost like his own body was projecting how horrible of an idea this was.

As soon as the mouse slipped out from behind the curio, he came face to face with the massive grin of the cat mere inches away from the opening. Seeing the grin only split wider when he was fully in view of the other normally would have instinctively sent a shiver up his spine, it was kind of difficult to be intimidated seeing how Lucas had strangely contorted his body to lay on the floor between the curio and the bookcase. Most cats seemed to be fairly flexible, so it probably wasn’t too uncomfortable for him to be so bent and curled up, but he definitely lost some of that hunter’s prowess with his back twisted sideways and one leg leaning against the shelving.

In a flash, Lucas had managed to untangle his strange positioning to instead be crouched on his knees, now looming over Aaron in a way he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to. He flinched back when his hand started to reach out towards him, fully intending to scoop him up to dizzying heights without a second thought, but the appendage stopped just short of touching him at all. Instead, he dropped his hand palm side up and waited, smiling all the while. At least he was getting better at remembering Aaron’s explicit request to not be grabbed without permission, though he did always apologize with a sheepish look and some little treat whenever he forgot.

Once Aaron climbed onto the awaiting hand that radiated a delightfully intense warmth into his already aching muscles, Lucas was already jumping up a chattering a mile a minute about how much the mouse was going to love the movie he picked out, how dinner would be ready soon, how he wasn’t expecting him to actually agree to watch a scary movie with him since he never seemed like the type who would be into that sort of thing but--

“It’s a scary movie?” Aaron interrupted, the noise finally registering beyond the headache. Truthfully, he tuned a lot of what the other said out for almost every conversation, not that it ever seemed to make a difference. Yeah, sorry, I’m a bit of a chatterbox, he admitted once, but it’s less weird talking to someone who doesn’t respond than to talk to yourself, right?

Debatable.

Lucas tilted his head and snorted. “Uh, yeah? That was one of the first things I told you about. You know that one actress who’s in almost every one of those Christmas movies we watch, who’s always the jealous best friend?” Aaron has no idea who he was referring to given that he never absorbed anything from those stupid romance movies he was boarderline forced to watch, but nodded anyways, “Right, this is supposed to be her big break out role, or something. It’s the first thing she’s doing as a lead actress, and you know, good for her! I’m glad she’s getting out of that typecast she’s been in forever. Horror probably wouldn’t be my first choice for her, but I guess since she has those singing vocals it could carry over to being a scream queen. Kind of like when--”

And Aaron was out of the conversation again.

Lucas continued to drone on about the actress’s entire film career, or at least that’s what the mouse was assuming he was doing when he occasionally zoned back in to pick up a stray word here and there. The headache he had been staving off to the best of his ability was starting to come back with twice as much force as it often did in the later days. He probably could have just asked the other for some aspirin, maybe even some cold medicine as that was no doubt what this bout of illness was turning into, but asking the cat for anything was always out of the question. Of course, Lucas tried to sway him numerous times into thinking it most certainly was not and that he could always ask for whatever he needed, never to his avail. Aaron was indeed willing to prolong his suffering if it meant not having to stomach the dreadful embarrassment that would come to being indebted to the feline, no matter how insignificant.

Unfortunately, he was only setting himself up for failure in thinking this “agreement” would be providing him any sort of relief. His headache was treading dangerously close into becoming a full fledged migraine and the flashes of light and screams from the television would not be doing him any favors. His only saving grace was that, after he had been settled on the couch and Lucas scampered off to get the dinner he promised, the cat turned off every other light possible to, as he put it, really get them in the spooky mood!

The smell of the food was delicious and nauseating. His stomach both wanted and revolted at the idea of anything filling it, which would only serve to worsen his headache no doubt. Damn it all, he wanted to throttle both himself and this illness, the first for agreeing to watch this stupid movie when he was already feeling under the weather, the second for preventing him from getting his half of the deal. These movie-dinner dates deals were the only reason Aaron continued to stick around, even if he thought the torment of being forced to watch awful romcoms in exchange for a hot, homemade meal was a little unfair. No, that wasn’t entirely true, Lucas was a freaking culinary genius as far as the mouse was aware. It was a wonder why he wasn’t majoring in a cooking field.

“I’m not hungry right now,” Aaron lied when Lucas had asked why he wasn’t eating. “I’ll try some later.”

The cat looked at him strangely before shrugging. “Alright, just let me know. If you don’t like it, I can always make you something else.” There he goes again, offering things he knows the other can’t accept. At least he could let it slide this time as he had no appetite to think of any other dish.

Lucas finished his own meal in silence, completely fixed on the television as the opening scene carried on, introducing the canine main character that Aaron did, in fact, vaguely recognize. This was fine, he figured, the dark apartment coupled with a painfully slow movie, a warm body moving to curl up behind him as it so often did during these deals, he could probably get a few moments of real rest in before the credits rolled. As much as he loathed to admit it, the cat was actually rather...comfortable to be forcefully cuddled by. He wasn’t like other movie goers that needed to make a comment on every character’s decision, steady breathing and the occasional purr helping the mouse slowly relax.

That relaxation was cut short as soon as the romcom actress tore her tiny avian neighbor to shreds by the end of the first act.

Aaron had hardly been paying attention to the storyline up until this point, something to do with the girl being bitten and experiencing insatiable hunger lately. The sudden carnage of the otherwise trusting little prey creature made both of them flinch in surprise, though Lucas was quick to laugh it off. From then on the mouse’s unwavering attention was glued to the screen, but not by his choice. A chill ran through him each time she claimed another unsuspecting victim, always a prey animal, and ripped them apart with her teeth and nails like a starving animal. The way the tiny’s incredibly realistic viscera was slurped into her bloody mouth made him queasy, all too easily imagining himself in their shoes.

Eventually, her hunger became too strong and she began attacking fellow predator species as well. Ripping into throats and soft bellies was far messier than snacking on a tiny creature in three bites, making her feast all the more gory. While the violence still unsettled him, it was a touch more bearable now that he couldn’t picture his own body being mangled between the teeth of a predator he thought he could trust. Speaking of…

The mouse gulped and risked a glance behind him at the other who had hardly moved, save for a few jolts and snickers whenever a particularly good jump scare managed to startle him. It didn’t go unnoticed that every time Aaron had physically reacted to a sudden screech or attack, the cat would curl just a little bit tighter around him, hiding a laugh behind a rumbling purr. He wanted to believe this was meant to be an act of comfort and not something equally as nefarious as the canine plotting her next kill. Regardless, Lucas was equally transfixed on the movie, except he seemed to be enjoying every minute of the horror aspect. His tail would flick in interest during the high tension scenes, even more so when a chase sequence was underway. It made sense, considering that was his favorite game to make Aaron play.

Whatever the case may be, the mouse couldn’t help but be unnerved tenfold that the other had the audacity to enjoy a fictional movie he was interested in seeing. The last thing the mouse wanted was for Lucas to get any more ideas when it came to chasing him around the apartment, much less awaken any sort of primitive instinct to maim his prize after it had been captured. To this day, it remains a deep seated fear in the back of his mind that every time the cat cupped his hands over him, his teeth would be quick to follow. Natural instincts were hard to shake for a reason when it came to prey animals such as himself, he could only hope the same wasn’t true for predators.

His imagination was running rampant, enough so that he completely missed how the movie ended. Something about a cure, something about being put down, whatever. The only thing on his mind was the morbidly hilarious thought that if Lucas were to go feral like the canine, would he eat him raw or would he cook him up in another fantastic dish?

Aaron jumped when Lucas moved to sit up behind him, only now registering the credits scrolling across the screen. He stretched a bit, the quickly fading warmth that had been surrounding the mouse making him realize just how tight the other must have been snuggled around him. How did he not notice?

“Wow,” Lucas said, pursing his lips. “That...was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life.”

That wasn’t the reaction Aaron had been expecting him to have, but it was certainly better than to hear him go on about how it was a brilliant masterpiece. He got up to flick the lights back on, still laughing as he recounted each poorly written scene and cheesy effects. “I mean, oh my god, right? The mail man saved everyone? Seriously? I actually feel bad for making you watch that, you totally have dibs on the next movie night.”

He turned around to look at the mouse who was still huddled tight on the couch, wide eyes glued to the screen even if it was just names moving along with ominous background music. Lucas gave him another quizzical look, smirking.

“C’mon, even you have to admit those tinies had zero survival instincts. Like, who goes up to a rabid dog and asks for directions? I get suspending my disbelief and all, but they could have made it just a pinch realistic. This is so going to tank her acting career…” The cat shook his head and moved closer to the couch so that he stood right in front of the television, finally drawing the other’s attention to himself. “Hey, you hungry now?”

Oh, absolutely fucking not. An hour and a half of being tensed up gave no relief to his aching muscles and now that the lights were back on, so was his pounding headache. His stomach rolled, the nausea a mix of dizziness and disgust from the special effects. He didn’t even want to think about food, he didn’t want to be out in the open anymore, and he most certainly did not want to spend another minute in the cat’s company right now.

“S-sure…” Aaron finally squeaked out. He just needed Lucas out of the room, distracted somewhere so he could make a break for it. In some instances, he would have just darted off whether the cat saw him or not, but that always resulted in a game of chase that had a 50/50 success rate, the other loving it anyways. All he wanted was some peace and quiet to rest up and heal and not think about how easy it would be for the other to bite off his head whenever he felt like it.

Lucas stood there for a minute, studying him, and just when Aaron genuinely feared he was going to pounce, he flashed an innocent smile. “Cool, just give me a couple minutes to get it heated up.” And with that, he disappeared into the kitchen.

Aaron decided to be bold and waste a few precious seconds of his head start to collect himself. Deep down, he knew he was being ridiculous. Lucas had been nothing but kind to him. Aloof, but still kind all the same. But as a prey animal that spent the better part of his life living in walls and stealing to survive, trust was a risk he simply couldn’t take. There was hardly any benefit to keeping up this con if the end goal was simply to eat him. For all he knew, though, Lucas was nothing more than a merciless sociopath that was willing to milk every ounce of fear he could before chowing down. A sociopath obsessed with romantic comedies and wore an apron when he cooked and had begged Aaron for two months straight to tell him when his birthday was so that he could make him a miniature cake.

...okay, so maybe Lucas wasn’t a sociopath, but that didn’t mean he was trustworthy. Evolution gave him sharpened fangs and agile reflexes for a reason and the mouse was not about to find out what it was like to be on the receiving end of those one day.

With his head as clear as it was going to be for the time being, sans the dull throb behind his eyes, the mouse finally pushed himself up to make his way over to the couch arm. Slowly, as to not overwork his stiff joints, he climbed his way down to the floor and skittered under the couch for a little extra protection. Strangely, he noticed that he didn’t hear any noises coming from the kitchen just up ahead and when he stopped by the doorway, he couldn’t see anyone either. Losing track of the massive cat should not be possible, especially considering this was a one bedroom apartment and there was literally nowhere else for the feline to go without coming back through the entryway. Aaron should have taken it as a blessing, but of course he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

He proceeded to be daring and come out from under the couch completely to peek into the kitchen, confirming it was empty. Again, that shouldn’t even be possible for Lucas to slip out without having to directly pass the living room to go somewhere else. Unless he had, which would mean Aaron missed him somehow. He had been in quite a deep thought process on the couch...but he could have sworn he was only collecting himself for a minute!

The answer became glaringly obvious when the mouse took a few hesitant steps back and turned to retreat under the safety of the couch, only to come face to face with Lucas. He damn near jumped out of his skin, slamming his back against the wall in an effort to gain another inch of distance between himself and the face taking up his entire view. Really, this was nothing too out of the ordinary for the cat, he loved to sneak up and pounce whenever the opportunity presented itself and Aaron wasn’t too obviously close to heart failure. What made his heart stutter, however, was the fact that Lucas didn’t look like...well, Lucas. There was no smile, no warm eyes, no words being talked a mile a minute about nothing.

No, there was just a frowning cat with his ears pinned back and pupils slit, stalking closer with a terrifying rumble in his throat.

Instinct overtook him as soon as he saw the other’s lip twitch, trying to dart under the couch for safety and having his path immediately blocked by a hand being slammed down, claw out. Aaron couldn’t even yelp, the bile in his throat threatening to turn into vomit if he idled around too long. So, he didn’t. Instead, he turned on his heel and scampered in the opposite direction with the cat hot on his trail. He very nearly dodged a swipe, Lucas hissing that his blow didn’t land while Aaron only tried to speed up his sprinting. They circled maybe half of the living room, the mouse weaving under furniture while the cat knocked into them in an effort to jarr his prey into taking a misstep.

It worked, unfortunately, when Aaron took a sharp turn at the bookshelf and caused Lucas to clip it with his shoulder. The small bump did nothing to deter the cat on his hunt, but the two books that came tumbling down were enough to make the smaller skid and trip to avoid being squashed under the novels. He ended up twisting his ankle awkwardly, stumbling flat on his face while the momentum of his running made him roll twice until he landed on his back. Despite being winded and the additional pain in his leg, he knew there was no time to waste, trying to pull himself. It was too late, though. The cat was already on top of him, hand coming down to pin him under his palm while only his head poked free from between his fingers.

That cold, terrifying face came nearer, eyes tunnel visioned on its prize. Oh God, Aaron would give anything to have the other Lucas back right now. He’d watch a thousand sappy movies, do a date night for every meal, actually move into his bedroom like the cat had suggested he do a dozen times. He wanted...fuck, he wanted his friend back. What he thought was his friend, anyways. Not this killer, not this predator who was baring his teeth and was now mere inches away from biting off his face and--

The growling above him broke off into a snort shortly before turning into a full blown laugh. Aaron wasn’t sure when he had closed his eyes in preparation for his certain death, but when he dared to open them and blinked away the budding tears, he saw that smile he had been wishing for again. Kind and warm, just like eyes, and it was like Lucas had never even taken the form of a starving hunter in his life. Like he hadn’t been moments away from devouring his beloved roommate.

“Oh, come on,” he howled with laughter, “You can’t be serious! That movie actually scared you? I mean, I thought you looked a little freaked out by it, but wow!”

The movie...so this...this wasn’t real. Lucas was just pretending, just playing a prank on him. He thought that the movie had simply wound him up and made him jumpier than usual, no different than watching a zombie flick and popping out from behind a bush at your friend later on.

Except it was different. It was different in the fact that zombies aren't real, but predators are. Predators didn’t need an excuse to go feral and maim and consume their tiny cohabitants, they simply could by the laws of nature. And yes, it may be illegal and have several laws in place to protect prey species, but if no body was ever left behind, who could say if foul play was involved? That was the whole plot point in the otherwise dull movie they sat through together, the reason why the woman was able to avoid suspicion of her sickness by feeding on tinies that could only be reported missing at most.

Lucas’s laughter had tapered off, still clearly enjoying himself. “Alright, note to self, no more horror movies.” Finally, he released Aaron from under his hand to sit back on his haunches. “Man, I really didn’t think you would scare that easily, especially from a B-movie like that. Anyways, are you actually ready to eat now? I put your stuff in the oven so it would reheat better, but it should be done by now….Ronnie?”

Aaron hadn’t moved an inch since he was originally pinned, not even after the hand had been lifted off of him. He just stared up blankly at the cat, trembling and wide eyed, unable to do anything as the rapid succession of events sunk in. The cat’s humor died down a little, smile hesitating.

“Hey, look, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t resist, you know?” He shrugged a little sheepishly. “You didn’t even notice when I came back so I thought...I don’t know, it was funnier in my head. I almost broke character and started laughing before you ran!” With still no verbal response, Lucas reached out a hand. “Aaron? You good? Come on, I’m not that scary, am I?”

The reaction he got probably wasn’t what he was hoping for with Aaron suddenly scrambling to push himself away from the outstretched hand that might trap and tear apart his limbs. He gave a sharp squeak, managing to find his footing only to come crashing down as soon as he took the first step, his ankle noticeably swollen by this point. His cry of pain was muffled into a desperate grunt, trying so hard to drag himself away as a last ditch effort to avoid the same fate as the bird and the squirrel and the mole in the movie.

Lucas gasped. “Oh, Ronnie, your leg!” Both hands were reaching for the mouse now, aiming to cup around him and scoop him up before they surely put him out of his misery. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t...oh my God, I hurt you.”

Yes and no. In truth, Aaron had been the one to hurt himself by making his body move in ways it physically shouldn’t. But that didn’t change the fact that Lucas had shown his true colors. Perhaps in hindsight, that wasn’t a fair assessment, as he really did think he was playing a harmless little joke on a skittish friend. The pain came from knowing that the cat could turn feral, though, no matter how genuine he was being. There was still clearly an instinct within him, one that knew how to hunt and bare his teeth and hiss, one that knew deep down where they both ranked on the food chain. It hurt in knowing everything he thought about his friend, everything that kept him from really letting down his walls like the other so desperately wanted, was right. Cats and mice were not friends.

“Get away from me!” Aaron shrieked when the hands came too close. Though they withdrew quickly, he didn’t bother to watch if they would move again as he forced himself up to stumble back to his nook behind the bookshelf.

“Aaron, wait!” It was a fruitless request and Lucas knew it as he didn’t even try to stop the mouse from disappearing behind the furniture back into the walls. It would only make matters so much worse. “Aaron, please, you’re hurt, just...at least let me help you. Please. I...I’m so sorry! It was an accident, I promise!”

The cat shuffled closer, leaning down in hopes that the other could at least hear his pleas better, could hear how sincere he was trying to be. “I would never hurt you, Aaron. You’re one of my best friends. Look, it was a stupid prank and I’m an asshole and I’ll never do it again, just please come out. Just let me know if you’re alright?”

It didn’t matter how hard or for how long he tried, Aaron was long gone within the walls.

[goodmode]

for the fandom blorbos ask, any or all of genshin, homestuck, or mlp ?

if i did all of these i’d die and flood the dash so i’m gonna pick genshin impact since it’s most on my mind. absolute shoutout and kudos and accolades for calling out my main interests though. you have suffered my content with such enthusiasm and i knight you today

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

bennett. whenever i enter a new area i’m usually using bennett and even if i’m not the whole time i’ll be applying new dialogue to a potential bennett-inclusive party. he is Involved. we go down to the place under sangonomiya? he’s there. we explore a new region? he’s there tagging along. we go to fontaine? he will be my plus one. every line of dialogue i’m like oh? and from the perspective of a mystery orphan with unexplained fate hell? any clues here? no? he’s having fun though

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

klee requires utmost caution or you will set off a nuke. the nuke is her mother alice who comes to kill you irl through the screen. klee is a little baby who has a programming tag of if you treat her bad, alice uses minecraft pistons to turn you into mulch irl.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

xingqiu. and i don’t want to hear anything about icelad here even though i love him. i don’t want to hear about the obvious hehoo pairing! gay teens! or whatever. they get enough of that. PLEASE i’m begging you let xingqiu be a person in his own right. i will die for any exposition of him that explores his relationship with his dad and older brother where it's like: this kid has expectations on him and he’s genuinely good at meeting those expectations but also he wants to spend his summer break doing robin hood. except he gets no summer break. so any excuse to be Out There is seized upon at all costs, despite family misgivings. you can’t be Zorro we need you to do paperwork [the yearning]

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

paimon. i’m not sorry. any paimon appearance has me going oh my god thats her. shes bonding. we are bonding! people don’t like paimon and for why?? she is our closest best friend who loves us and is a “guide” who is actually just looking for a hand to hold. people act like paimon is this annoying gremlin but she genuinely has moments of emotional awareness and she wants to help and she is fuelled by the power of Lost Child Being Nice and i would die for her. paimon is barely keeping her head above the existentialism waters by pretending she is helping this superpowered alien from space who absorbs elements by silly straw. paimon is scared and lost and found 1 (one) friend and she’s trying real hard guys

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

dainsleif. he sucks. he sucks so bad. all his decisions have been stupid and bad. but also we got the implication he’s got godhell disease from the abyss so i also feel bad for him. Sir Has Wifi Connectivity In His Skin. Sir Ignored A Multiversally Displaced Teen in order to do some behind the scenes bullshod. come drink some water and go to therapy and PLEASE help us and we’ll help you.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

i don’t know HOW to embarrass yae miko but i know i want her to experience cringe. i want her to shrivel, for herself and not for anyone else. i want her to know that she said something weird in groupchat and there was no timestamped response for 24 hours or more. i want her to make a social media post being smug and for no one to like or react to it ever. i want her to sit there checking her phone like oh my god maybe that was squingy actually. i want her to harpsichord as a person while grimacing

ask meme source if anyone wants to send me a different franchise

[mutantmayhem2023]

| i’m still holding on, neon

→ KANERA WEEK 2021 DAY ONE, PROMPT: TROUBLE

pairing: kanan jarrus/hera syndulla

words: 3.4k

rating: t, for swearing and mentions of alcohol

summary: after nine long years, padawan caleb dume kanan jarrus is met with a friend from his past at the jedi temple, fellow (almost) padawan hera syndulla.

(shoutout to @kananjarrus-jediknight who helped let this au get way out of hand with me)

The neon light from the sign of Old Jho’s blinks unsteady, or maybe it doesn’t – Kanan’s head is still feeling pretty swayed. It was definitely the last drink he had – that had to be it, definitely not the long assortment of liquors that came before that one. That guy was just too pretty and his skin was so blue and his eyes were so–

His hand grabs at the outside wall of the bar, steadying himself and barely preventing him from crashing head over heels into the dusty Lothal street. He takes in a shaky breath, the fresh air would clear him up, get him ready to go back in. If the ground could just stop moving then maybe–

“Excuse me–”

And, with those two words alone, it’s like something wakes him up, the fog on his mind lifts, the heaviness in his eyes is gone – The kind of clarity, the instantaneous kind that only ever came from the Force.

And that voice, he knows that voice. He does. It’s different, but…

He turns to it.

This time he’s sure the Lothal moons above are shining within his chest.

It’s her.

“Caleb?” She says, the name dropping from her lips before she has the chance to compose herself. Her lekku go rigid.

He hadn’t heard anyone speak that name in nine years. In fact, he’d come to terms with the fact that he never would hear it again.

The look in those green eyes of hers only say one thing, the same thing that slips from his own mouth,

“You’re alive?”

She doesn’t quite nod but her eyebrows knit closer together in fondness. She’s seeing a ghost. Looking at him, but through him too.

He goes to take a step towards her and suddenly all the blood rushes to his head and the alcohol finally catches up to him. She dives to attempt an intercept before he crashes head first into the ground. She misses him by a second.

“Oh shit,” She mutters under her breath. You could’ve caught him with the F–

Thank goodness the sound of the bar muffles any of the noise they’ve just made. The dust she kicked up finally settles.

They, she thinks. But she nips it in the bud before she thinks too much more about it. Right now she needed to wipe off the stray dirt and was that - yup. A bar nut shell that had stuck to his shoe. Yup, that was Caleb Dume. Clearly they had a lot of catching up to do. It was taking everything in her not to just skim the top of his consciousness. It was funny, in the Force he felt the same.

He was dead to the world. She would definitely need to check his head when they made it back to her ship. Chopper wasn’t going to let her hear the end of it either but then again, she had told him before about the little boy who tried too hard to be her friend back at the Temple. It’s not like she had a lot of other people to talk to.

Geez, he wasn’t very easy to maneuver when he was deadweight. She does eventually manage to get him slung around her shoulder, his boots scratching against the scattered road on their path back to her pride and joy. The Ghost.

She was just hoping Caleb was still as eager to joke with her, because she wasn’t going to let him live down the fact that she had just carried him back to her ship because he was too plastered to do so himself.

Something in her did whisper that she had more of an influence in him passing out than anything else. She squashes the thought down as quickly as it came up, however.

She could still hear them teasing one another in the back of her brain. She catches a quick glance at his face, his facial features are more defined now, the bridge of his name is the same and his facial hair was surprisingly well kept. His eyelashes are still ridiculously long, for a male of any species.

His brows furrow momentarily and she looks away within an instant, he doesn’t wake though. Only stirring, but the good news was that the Ghost was now in view.

She fiddles in her pocket with her free hand to grab her commlink. She was really hoping he wouldn’t wake up, because even thinking about explaining the current situation was hurting her brain. Doing that when he was laying down in her ship’s medbay sounded a lot more manageable.

She presses the commlink, and in just a bit more than a whisper, “Chop, I’m back. Can you drop the ramp for me?”

She holds her breath, hoping to not be met with her droid’s usual attitude or for Caleb to wake.

The droid’s reply crackles over the comm and the ramp lowers.

“Come on,” She whispers to her friend, as she helps them both onto the ship. Grateful in that moment that she found a spot to dock that wasn’t too far out of the city. And it wasn’t like someone being drunkenly carried out of a cantina wasn’t a usual sight these days. Everyone had to deal with the Empire one way or another. It was just a stroke of luck there wasn’t a big Imperial presence around this part of the city tonight.

It’s more than luck, Hera. You know that.

As the ramp closes in behind her, her droid wheels into the room. Asking her colourfully worded questions in binary.

“This,” She replies, beelining for the medbay. “Would be my old friend.”

He stinks like behind a bar, her droid replies.

“Oh really?” Hera says, glaring at her droid. “I hadn’t noticed!”

She kicks off her boots, with Caleb still resting on her, she was really starting to ache from doing that.

“Maybe you could help me get him out of this room. So he can wake up without passing out on me this time!”

Chopper grumbles something, but obliges. She knew he was only annoyed because he could tell she hadn’t done what she set out to do this evening. But knowing he was alive kind of intercepted her plans. Besides, there was always tomorrow and maybe, just maybe Caleb would tag along and help her. Maybe.

She wasn’t about to go and get ahead of herself, but gosh that creeping hopeful feeling in her chest wasn’t any kind of help. She had to be more realistic. The world around her had taught her that all too quickly.

By the time she gets him to the medbay, he practically flops out of her arms and onto the bed, face down again. She lets out a sigh before rolling him over. Chopper complains something about him dirting the floor and shoves his legs up onto the bed properly. Definitely far rougher than Hera would've been. She really shouldn’t be surprised by that anymore, and after all, this was the first person she’d ever brought on the ship. There was always going to be some animosity.

She blinks herself back to the current moment only to realise her hand is still resting on Caleb’s arm. Her droid chirps at her accusingly.

“Chop, wait here,” She says, running a hand over the top of her droid’s head before running from the room. Clearly acting on an idea she had yet to share.

She returns with one of the spare blankets from the storage hold. And one of her mugs from the ship’s kitchen area.

You’re letting him stay here? Her droid asks her in an accusatory tone.

“He passed out, Chop!” She says, in something of a whisper-yell. “I couldn’t just leave him there. Besides, it’s not like anyone came out looking for him! I just wanted to,” She doesn’t really know where she was going with this.

She places the blanket over him, she places the blanket over him. “I just wanted to make sure he was okay.”

Right.

She huffs, before getting out the painkillers that she knew he was going to need when he woke up. Hera hadn’t been drunk many times and certainly never as much as Caleb was right now, but the fact that he was going to be met with both a hangover and his long-lost and most likely presumed dead best friend, well, it didn’t hurt to tread on the side of caution.

She fills the mug with water and leaves it next to him. And props herself up on the counter, it was late but she felt too awake.

The sight of him made her heart sit firmly in her throat. It brought back all of these memories and feelings she thought she had laid to rest a long time ago. Of inside jokes, of teachers long gone and stories told in a hush between their fellow younglings, of an ache so strong that it felt like nothing in the world would ever make it go away.

Or maybe, it just felt long enough ago now that it was easier to distract herself from.

Either way, it was a lot.

You going to sleep anytime soon? Her droid asks.

She laughs, “Eventually.”

She runs a hand over her face, before sighing into it. That was a lie and Chopper knew it as well as she did.

“You can power down for the night if you want. I’ll be okay.”

She crosses her feet together, bouncing them against the cupboards she’s sitting on.

Chopper makes a sound like a sigh and reluctantly he beeps out a goodnight. To be honest, she was expecting more resistance from him but today had been interesting for both of them.

With her droid offline for the evening, well, probably morning now. She still wasn’t quite adjusted to Lothal time. Which would make tomorrow even more exciting if she was going to get hyperlag.

Well, if she wasn’t going to sleep she might as well get something productive done. Read more into the intel she’d been given. She presses off the counter and makes her way back into the kitchen. Right now, it was time for caf.

There’s something restless in her as she waits for it to heat up. She didn’t feel right not waiting in the room, this was going to be worse if Caleb woke up and she wasn’t there. Standing still wasn’t doing anything for her nerves, which usually weren’t a problem.

She was supposed to be more in control with this kind of thing. She closes her eyes and draws into the Force, deliberately drawing in a deep breath.

Calm down, Hera.

New distraction, change into more comfortable clothes. As she does, she feels all too aware of the drawer near her bed where she kept her lightsaber. She hadn’t touched it in years but for the first time in a while she doesn’t tune out the singing the crystal makes.

Once she pulls her shirt over her head and over her lekku, the caf blips a sound in the air that it's done and by the time she’s changed it’s been just long enough that her drink was going to be the perfect temperature. She smiles to herself before cradling the mug in her hands.

With Chopper powered down for the night and not trundling behind her, it was really quiet on this big ship.

The door to the medbay slides open and sure enough, Caleb is still sleeping. His head resting against his shoulder, the blanket still covering him. He must have moved a lot in his sleep because his hair is now loose around his face.

He looks peaceful.

But, just to be sure, she hops back up on the counter so she has a good view of him. Just in case, she tells herself.

She aimlessly scrolls through the Holonet catching up on the news of the day. Nothing really of substance, more Imperial presence in the Lothal sector. Which could make things more difficult but if she could make up for the lost time today then she wouldn’t really have to worry about that much.

She takes a sip of her caf, and this time exits out of the Holonet and into the files shared with her and an unopened message from her contact.

The rest of the night passes without much out of the ordinary. She almost falls asleep at one point but the sound of someone sitting up in the bed wakes her back up.

So, Caleb Dume was the kind of drunk that woke up in the early hours of the morning.

“Good morning,” She says, looking up from the datapad.

He blinks hard a couple of times, and yawns. Then he finally focuses on who’s in front of him.

“Hera?”

She nods, a smile on her face. His voice holds far more emotion than just the name he asks. He seems to be taking in the surrounding of the repurposed room turned medbay. It wasn’t like she had the chance to ask him to come back to her ship. But, she wasn’t going to leave him there either. What kind of friend did that?

“Yeah, it’s me,” She answers, voice soft.

He nods to himself, his mind is clouded in the Force. It practically radiates off him.

“So you made it out, too?” He asks, his voice hoarse from the previous night.

She nods a couple times, before crossing her legs up on the counter and setting aside her datapad.

“We don’t have to talk about that right now,” She starts, considering she hadn’t really spoken any of it out loud ever, she didn’t expect him to do the same right now. He also still looked half asleep. “But I do think you should have some water.”

He scoffs, and she motions with her head to the mug she put beside him earlier.

“Thanks,” He says, lifting it in her direction. He downs it all. “So, about last night,”

He rubs a hand into his temple.

“Yeah,” She says in a laugh, looking at the wall beside her. “I’m just surprised you made it up those stairs out of the bar.”

“You’ve been there before?”

“Not exactly, but I did check the building’s layout before leaving last night.”

He raises an eyebrow at her. There was so much else they could be talking about right now, and here they both were discussing a local bar.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, really. I kind of had plans last night, well that was before you passed out on me.”

He cringes, crinkling his nose. Just like back at the temple, like he’d been caught out asking too many questions.

“Sorry about that.”

She jumps down from the counter finally. He seemed open enough, but she didn’t want to push it.

“Look, I’m just happy you didn’t throw up on me.”

That earns a laugh from him.

“Also, I think you should probably have those, Caleb.” She says pointing to the container of tablets next to him.

“Kanan,” He says, correcting her.

“What?”

“My name is Kanan, now.” His voice seems stronger now.

Her mouth drops open, she hadn’t expected that. But then again, it did make sense. She never considered changing her name, it’s not like she’d even been formally made a padawan. Her name was hers alone. It hurt her to know that he no longer thought the same.

“I’m sorry.” Is all she can offer him. As much as she was trying to be composed it was proving to be more difficult than she had accounted for.

That and the more Ca – Kanan – seemed to come to, the grief in the room seemed to be pressing down harder and harder. The turtleneck she changed into feels tighter.

She finally looks at him again, and the sadness in those eyes of his feels like something is tearing in her chest.

“So, you’ve been alone too,” He says before she gets the chance to.

She tips her head to the side, getting a better read on him, just as he was doing the same for her.

“Well, apart from Chopper… yeah. You?”

He takes a beat before answering.

“Yeah,” His blue green eyes are focusing in, “I can’t lie, I’m still not really used to it.”

That was an invitation, Hera. Keep the conversation going, She thinks.

“Neither,” She replies. “It’s hard to forget how occupied life used to be.”

There was the lump in the back of her throat again.

“Hah, you can say that again.”

He looks up from the ground, and meets Hera’s gaze.

“I still can’t believe you’re alive.”

His voice breaks as he says that. I wish I knew you were, all this time, is what is left unsaid in that sentence.

She sucks in her bottom lip.

So, she still did that. For some reason, it offers him a sense of relief.

“I could say the same,” She finally says. The silence in the air was worse than the words they were using to fill it with. She takes a few steps closer to him. “Are you alright to stand?”

“I don’t see why not,”

Either he was lying or talking about the past was doing a good job of sobering him up.

“Follow me,” She says, opening the door to the hallway.

“You don’t want to wake your droid?”

Hera takes a look back at Chopper, remembering how much of a liking he had taken to Kanan earlier.

“Yeah, I think it’s best to leave him out of this for now.”

She hears his feet hit the ground behind her and takes that as time to leave the room, and the fact that he doesn’t hit any of the walls of the ship on their way to the cockpit is also a good sign.

“Nice ship,” He says from behind, she doesn’t need to look at him to know he means it.

“Yeah, she goes alright,” She says, tapping her hand against the entryway to the cockpit and the door slides open in front of them, “After you,”

She motions for him to enter first.

“Wow,” He says, taking in the rising sun on the horizon. Her ship was angled perfectly to capture it.

She takes a moment to really take it in too. This was her first morning on Lothal, the sun seemed brighter too. Logically, she knew it wasn’t but – still.

“So, you live here?” Hera asks.

Kanan takes a stride towards the co-pilot’s chair, and crosses his arms against the top of it, looking over his shoulder as she comes to sit in the pilot’s seat. It was far more comfortable than the bench she’d been sitting on all night and her back thanked her as soon as she sat into it.

“Eh, not really. I got a job a couple of planets over and one thing led to another and blah, blah, blah.”

She nods her head, listening to him. Closing her eyes to really take in the warmth of the sun even through the ship’s viewport.

“You can sit down if you want,” Hera says. She can feel him hovering in the spot he is, unsure whether doing so was crossing a boundary.

“This is comfortable,” He answers. “Thanks for the blanket, by the way.”

She opens her eyes to see he’s readjusted it to wrap over his shoulders like –

“You ever miss wearing them?” He asks, completely out of the blue.

Clearly, she wasn’t the only one sensing the other in the room. Even if that always had been more of her thing. She remembers first trying them on, the arms far too big for her.

“Yeah, I do.”

She looks across at him, and he’s already looking at her.

“Kanan,” She starts.

And, for the first time, hearing that from her in that voice… It was like the name he’d chosen to stay alive finally had meaning. Like his name could mean something.

“I know I said you didn’t have to talk about it, which is true and I truly don’t mind, but I have to tell you.”

Her steels her jaw, pressing her tongue to the top of her mouth to stop the tears. It was her tried and tested method.

“I didn’t think I would ever, ever see you again. And I know you feel the same way, and I know a lot has happened and we’ve both changed and chances are I really don’t know you anymore but–”

She stops herself. This was the most she had opened up to anyone in the longest time.

“But–” She hears him say. “–it feels like this was meant to happen.”

“Exactly.”

She was wrong, and for what felt like the first time, she was happy to be. Her face softens as she starts crying and when she blinks the tears away and looks at him, there’s tears in his eyes too.

They both smile at each other. Basking in all the moment has to offer. Two Jedi, two survivors finding one another.

“This is gonna be trouble, isn’t it?” He says, looking out the dawn on Lothal.

Nothing else needed to be said, Kanan answering the question Hera hadn’t been able to yet speak aloud. They’d made their way back to each other. There was no way anything in the whole galaxy would get in the way of that. They had a lot to catch up on, and it would take time.

But she had this bursting feeling that had they had that one their side.

“When have we not been?”

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

the trouble with wanting (is i want you) - part three

Friends! 

It’s here! Finally! The last part to my version of Hailey’s time in New York!

I know it took a while me to post everything, but better late than never I guess! I hope this lives up to your expectations and I can’t wait to see what you think of it!

Huge shoutout to @anniesardors and @imjustwritingg for hearing and reading all the things and just being the biggest hype girls of all time!

Please enjoy this fluffy chapter before we get served a whole host of angst in the season finale tomorrow lol. Also, just a forewarning, it’s a long one... Like over 10,000 words so you’re welcome haha.

Tagging: @imjustwritingg, @anniesardors, @thetwit, @angelsjedi, @chichichicken, @carissalizz, @maya-asturias, @stephanie708, @cpd5777 

Read on AO3

It was nearing eleven in the evening and Hailey didn’t think she’d ever been so exhausted from the events of the day. Being released from the hospital and Jay’s mandatory five laps around the floor of the hotel had taken its toll on her.

It was a good kind of exhausted though because today, she had fallen in love with Jay Halstead all over again.

With every gesture and smile and look he gave her she fell in love with him again and again. His strong, but gentle hands, his heart always so kind and his eyes filled with an affection that made her heart ache in the best way. 

Even though her side was killing her, she felt so incredibly grateful to have him with her because the devotion he’s shown to her over the past few days, and especially today, made her once again realize that he truly was one of a kind.

And spending the day with just him, laughing and joking and asking each other silly questions almost made getting injured worth it.

She yawns through a giggle, her eyes shining bright as she listens to him wrap up a hilarious retelling of a time when he was on patrol. For one of her questions, she’d asked him for his craziest experience on the beat and he’d launched into a story about him and his old partner responding to a burglary call at two in the morning.

A man had claimed that he had been robbed and was missing five pounds of bacon but upon further investigation, it turned out the wife had been sneaking into the kitchen for a late-night snack.

“We did get some bacon out of it,” he laughs, looking up at her from where he was laid out at the end of the bed. “So, it wasn’t all bad.”

Shaking her head in amusement, she stifles another yawn with her hand and Jay gives her an affectionate smile and a pointed look, both of which she’s become quite familiar with by now.

“As much as I love this, I think it’s time for someone to go to bed.”

She arches an eyebrow, trying not to look as tired as she really felt. “So, I have a bedtime now?”

“When you’ve been shot and are taking some pretty heavy pain killers you do,” Jay smirks and she knows that not only is he right about her needing rest, but he is also getting payback for all of the times she had forced him to bed using the same argument.

He glances at his watch, the smirk growing, “Oh, and look at that. It’s time for another round of meds.”

Hailey gives him a look and scrunches up her nose, still not thrilled with the idea of taking them, but silently thankful that they should knock her out for a few hours. Shaking out a few pills into an open palm, Jay grabs a fresh bottle of water from the mini fridge and gives the items to her. 

“Do you want a shower tonight?” He asks as she throws the pills back in one go and takes a gulp of water to swallow them down with.

Wiping at her lips with her shirt, she shakes her head. “I took one this morning before you got to the hospital, so I’m good.”

“Alright,” he nods, leaning down to pick an empty plastic bag that had floated to the floor. “Why don’t you get ready for bed then? I’ll clean up out here and then help you change your bandages.”

Hailey carefully climbs out of the spot she’s been sitting in for most of the day and pads over to the chest of drawers she had finally unpacked in when it was clear she would be staying in New York for more than two weeks. She pulls out an oversized police academy shirt and a pair of running shorts before turning to rifle through the small duffle that Jay had packed for her hospital stay for her toothbrush.

She makes her way into the bathroom and even though her back is to him, Hailey is still very much aware of every move Jay makes as he busies himself with tidying the room and washing their dishes.

It all seems so domesticated and easy, like something they’ve done a thousand times before, and yet it feels different than if they were in one of their apartments doing the same sort of thing after pizza and beers.

There was something about knowing Jay couldn’t just hop in his truck to go home if he felt like it or that she couldn’t hide away in her own bedroom for a few minutes when the overwhelming urge to kiss him comes over her and it makes her heart beat erratically inside her chest.

She rinses her mouth out and takes a deep breath to steady herself before leaving the bathroom now dressed in her pajamas.

Jay places the last dish away as she comes out, turning to look at her with another easy smile that makes her knees week. She thinks it should be illegal for someone to look that handsome doing such a mundane task, but then again, it’s Jay and she knows he looks good in anything and everything he does. She doesn’t even have to work with him every day to know that.

She sits on the edge of the bed and Jay makes his way over to her silently, gauze and medical tape in his hands. Lifting her oversized shirt, she keeps it from falling down with an arm crossed just below her breasts and she thinks for a moment that there should be some sort of initial awkwardness at being this close, that she should feel uncomfortable, but there isn’t, and she doesn’t. 

Jay had been there when the nurses had first changed her bandages, had carefully studied their movements as they showed him what to do when she got home, but now that they were here, his hands touching her and just the two of them in a hotel room it was almost too much.

His fingers were gentle, but nimble as he carefully undid the bandages taped to her stitched side and Hailey couldn’t help thinking how his hands were more reassuring and comforting than even the nurses with all their experience and technique.

“Cop who scares you the most?” The sudden question almost makes Hailey jump, not expecting him to speak and she wonders if maybe the silence was getting to him too.

She blinks but doesn’t have to think too hard on this one. “Platt, for sure.”

“You?” She questions and she can hear the smile in his voice when he gives the same answer she had a second ago. 

As his fingers continue working over her injury, she can’t help the way her heart rate quickens. Can’t stop the goosebumps from popping up all over her skin. If he notices the way she shivers just slightly, he doesn’t show it as he begins to apply the fresh gauze over her side. 

“Did you always wanna be a cop? Before you met Platt, I mean,” he asks then. She hates the way it catches her off guard again, but also feels grateful for the distraction instead of thinking about his hands moving over her body. 

“Um, no, actually. I was really into gymnastics when I was younger. I remember watching the Olympics with my brothers and just loving the way they all moved through the air. Did it for a couple years but didn’t stick with it. Obviously,” she says as he puts some slight pressure on her side to apply some medical tape over the gauze.

“I’m sorry. I know this part hurts,” he says immediately, his fingers stilling, and she shakes her head.

“It’s okay,” she breathes out through gritted teeth. 

She takes another deep breath and feels him begin to move his hands over her side again a moment later. Instead of thinking about the discomfort and pain, she puts her focus back on the way his fingers feel on her skin. The way his hands have taken down some of the most hardened criminals of Chicago, but here he is, as gentle and as soft as can be with her. Like he always is. 

His hands leave her side a moment later and then she hears him whisper from beside her. “All done.”

She nods and pulls down her shirt before slinking further into the bed and carefully lying on her uninjured side as comfortably as she could. She watches him as he cleans up the medical supplies and disposes of her dirty bandages before turning off the main light of the room.

There’s just the nightstand lamp on, now casting a softer glow throughout the room. 

Hailey took another deep breath, trying to breathe as quietly as she could as she listened to Jay moving around the room on the other side of the bed. Her heart was starting to beat wildly again with anticipation as she waited for the inevitable dip of the bed when he was ready to turn in for the night.

She could hear his footsteps fall softly, the door to the bathroom closing shut as quietly as possible and she knows he’s trying hard not to disturb her. It didn’t matter though; she’s so hyper-aware of him, every noise he made echoed loudly in her ears.

If she were being honest, the thought of them sharing a bed had plagued her mind well before she’d been sent to New York and he’d hopped on a plane when she’d gotten hurt five weeks later. When it dawned on her that this meant that her bed-sharing fantasies had a high probability of coming true, her nights had been filled thinking about this moment more than she would ever admit.

Generally, she wasn’t an over thinker, but when it came to this, her mind had raced with the possibilities and each scenario had played out in her mind like a scene from a cringy rom-com.

The bathroom door opened, and her eyes flew shut. He moved silently over to the empty side of the bed and there was some rattling on the nightstand as he plugged his phone in and took his watch off. When it was quiet again, she waited for him to climb in beside her, but she could almost feel his hesitation.

She was about to tell him it was okay, and she didn’t mind sharing; that the bed was big enough for both of them, but then he climbed in next to her like it was just any other night. Like it was completely normal, and he’d been sleeping beside her for years.

It wasn’t a night of passionate frenzy and tangled limbs or awkward small talk over them sharing a bed.

It just was.

*

“Jay?”

He barely heard it, but it was enough for him to wake up.

Turning over quickly, he squinted, trying to see Hailey through the darkness, “Hailey?” He rasped groggily, “You okay?”

She sighed. Or tried to. He heard it catch in her throat before she drew in a quick little breath of pain and he knows that her insomnia is probably what woke her up, but it’s her ribs and side that’s keeping her from falling back asleep.

He tried to shuffle closer to her without jostling her too much, “You in pain?”

He was close enough now to see her facial expression. Her brows were furrowed like she was upset with herself as she muttered a ‘crap’, “I’m sorry, Jay. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Blinking, he shakes his head, becoming more alert as he props himself up on an elbow, “Hey, no, you didn’t wake me up.”

It’s a lie and they both know it, but he’ll say anything to make sure she knows that he really doesn’t care about the interruption.

“How long have you been awake?” He asked, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. It was three in the morning.

Hailey does some sort of half-shrug, still laying towards him on her uninjured side, “A few hours I guess.”

Jay frowns, “You could have woken me up a long time ago.”

She still looks a little frustrated at herself, her forehead creased in pain and he knows all too well how brutal the first night out of the hospital can be.

It’s painful, coming off hospital grade pain medication administered through an IV whenever it was needed, having to now rely on low-dosage pills to get through the night.

It’s certainly not a comfortable night, not by a long shot.

And when there aren’t any nurses to answer your every beck and call, you realize just how hard everything is to do by yourself when recovering from an injury.

But she’s not by herself and he’s ready to do anything he can to help her tonight even if it is three am because she was there for him his first night home after getting shot in the shoulder and every other night when an injury was serious enough to warrant a hospital visit since she’d become his partner.

She would sleep on his couch, waking him up in the night to give him another dose of medication even if he didn’t think he needed it and she was there to gently change his bandages with comforting hands and this last time, he could have sworn he’d felt her warm lips touch his forehead as he drifted off to sleep after she’d made him his mom’s soup recipe; it was his favorite and Hailey always made it for him when he got hurt or sick after she’d found out what the recipe meant to him.

But more than that, he cares about her and this is what partners do. They look out for one another.

He’s also quickly realizing how much it hurts to see the girl you’re in love with in pain.

He’s pushing the sheets off of him, already reaching for the bottle of pills sitting on his nightstand, “I should have been more diligent about you taking these pills every four hours.”

He’s a little frustrated with himself for not setting an alarm to give her a dose during the night because now her pain is so bad she can’t sleep. Something he knows she needs to heal quickly.

Hailey carefully rolls on her back, gently holding a hand to her incision and the bruises surrounding it, “Don’t beat yourself up over it, Jay. It’s not your responsibility and I shouldn’t have been so stubborn yesterday.”

“Hey,” He sets the fresh water bottle he’d just grabbed from the fridge on the table next to the pills he’s shaken out before quickly climbing up on the bed to look at her closely.

He wants her to see how serious he is when he says this, “I will take care of you. Every time, any time, anywhere you need me. Even if you don’t think you need me, I will be there. Always, Hailey,” His eyes search hers, “You got me?”

She doesn’t say anything then or protest anymore, just nodding her head and accepting the out-stretched water and pills, quickly throwing them back before handing the bottle back to him.

They stare at each other for a few seconds too long before she blinks and he’s moving to put the half-empty water bottle back on the nightstand. He gets in the bed and waits till Hailey gingerly lowers herself back into the comfort of the mattress before he reaches out and flings the fallen covers over both of them.

He turns out the light he’d flipped on before rolling over to face her. There was a good foot between them, but he never wanted to gather her up in his arms more than he did in this moment, just quietly staring at her in the sliver of moonlight that was cast about the room.

She was breathing shallowly, her arms carefully folded in a comfortable position and her head resting peacefully on her pillow. Her blonde hair was spread out behind her and even though it was messy from sleeping, Jay didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so perfect.

He was staring at her and she was staring at him and even though neither of them had found the courage yet to admit that they fall asleep thinking about each other even when they aren’t together, they both silently knew.

They knew in the way they laughed together and in the way they sit quietly in the truck doing their job and in the way it felt right in this moment.

The world had never felt so right than in this moment, next to each other.

“Favorite memory?” It is whispered into the dark much like she’d said his name not even five minutes ago and if he hadn’t been listening to her quiet breaths, he probably wouldn’t have heard it.

A smile instantly creeps across his face at the question, and he knows he should take a minute to think about the answer to such a difficult question because how can one pick out a single favorite memory among a lifetime of them in such a short amount of time?

But he doesn’t even need a second because the answer is right in front of him.

“This. Now. Anytime I’m with you,” He answers honestly, and it feels like the most direct thing that’s been said between them regarding the feelings they both so clearly have.

He can hear her breath hitch just slightly before she breaths out a chuckle, “That’s not an answer. You gotta pick a moment.”

“Says who?” He challenges with a raised eyebrow she can barely see through the dark.

Hailey gives him a cocky little smirk, “Says me. I’m the one playing your dumb game and I’m the one asking the question, so I should be allowed to make my own rules.”

“I’m sorry. What do you mean by ‘dumb game’? This is one of greatest games of all time,” He mused airily with a hint of fake indignation, “I mean just think of all the great stuff we’ve learned about each other. It’s truly an unmatched bonding experience.”

“Uh-huh,” She couldn’t help but laugh at his overrated words of praise watching as a grin takes over his face.

“Because learning that you used to steal from Will’s hidden candy stash when you were a kid really strengthened our relationship in a special way,” She rolled her eyes.

“Well, it’s not like there’s a lot of stuff you don’t know,” He defended with a pointed look at her.

She’s still grinning that wide smile that says she thinks he’s something else, but she’s so carefree with her sparkling eyes and cheeky dimples, his heart feels like it might burst from his chest at the sight.

He’s leaning on a bent elbow, propping his head up as he gets lost in her and his expression morphs into a soft smile as he thinks about what he just said.

“We’ve spent a lot of hours together, Upton,” His eyes crinkle with fondness and Hailey feels a happy warmth settle over her as she hums in agreement, thinking of all the time they’ve spent telling story after story or just sitting in absolute silence waiting for something to happen.

It’s easy being with him. Has been since the very beginning. Even when they were figuring each other out and dealing with a lot of emotional trauma, there was never any real awkwardness.

He’s comfortable and natural and she’s never had that with anyone. That’s how she knows they are good together and that’s what lets her know that they have the potential to make this last forever.

She almost gives voice to her thoughts. Here, in the dark of a hotel room as they lay in a bed together for the first time, only a few inches separating them, but then Jay slowly starts breathing out the answer to her question and she knows it’s not their time yet even though she desperately wants it to be.

“Remember a few months ago when we all went out to Molly’s after that flesh-eating bacteria debacle?”

Hailey nods. She remembers being overwhelmed at the feeling of being carefree after the stress and terror they had all been put through in the last seventy-two hours. She remembers being thankful that she was alive, but more than that, she remembers being so very relieved that Jay was okay.

She’d had nightmares for months after that where she didn’t make the shot in time, that Jay had infected himself and lost limbs or died because of it.

“And afterwards you wanted ice cream, but everyone else wanted to go home so me and you went to get some?”

She remembers that too.

She doesn’t know why, but she’d had an intense craving for the frozen treat that night and she remembers mentioning it to the team in passing, figuring that she would just stop for a carton from the store on her way home, but then Jay said he would take her and the next thing she knew, they were down at Navy Pier getting ice cream.

She remembers thinking that it felt dangerously like a date and that they were going to get caught for being out past their curfew like a couple of teenagers.

Hailey notices his gentle smile as he gets lost in the memory and she thinks she can just barely see a blush coloring his cheeks. She wonders if he also thought the outing felt a little like they were reckless high schoolers out on a late-night date.

“That’s it. That’s my favorite memory.”

She knew that’s where he was going with this, but she still feels a little shocked hearing it, “That’s your favorite memory?”

If she sounds a little dumbfounded, it’s because she is. She was expecting him to say something about a favorite trip or something with his mom, not some random night where the two of them got ice cream.

“Out of all your memories, that’s the one you’re choosing? What about one of your birthdays or some other special occasion?” She questions again, thinking surely there is something better than a crowded night out in Chicago.

There’s a bashful look on his face, but it doesn’t diminish the contented glimmer in his eyes as he simply nods, “You asked and that’s my answer. Or do you have rules for that too?”

Hailey rolls her eyes, adjusting her head on her pillow, “No. I was just wondering why out of all the nights, that’s the one you picked.”

She doesn’t really expect him to answer, but once again he shocks her when he moves his head just slightly closer to hers and he looks at her like she’s everything he’s ever needed.

“That whole night I remember watching you laugh. Really laugh for the first time in months,” He smiles to himself as he recalls the memory, staring off into the distance, “After everything that happened with Adam and Kelton and then the outbreak, things were finally starting to look up and we were all just so thankful to be out without any stress of a case hanging over our heads.”

Jay shifts his gaze back to hers, “And then we went to get ice cream and we just talked without worrying about our team or being split up or potentially dying from a deadly bacterial infection.”

He takes a breath, “I remember being so grateful and relieved that you were okay after being in isolation, that being with you outside of work, seeing you so happy made me realize how damn lucky I am to have you as not just my partner but as my best friend too.”

Hailey has to blink back tears, not expecting the sentimental response or that it would affect her this much. She reaches out and takes the hand he has laying on the mattress, “You’re my best friend too, Jay. I hope you know that.”

She thinks she sees his eyes flit down to her lips and she thinks that this might be it, that he was getting ready to kiss her, but then he doesn’t, and she tries not to be frustrated at being constantly on edge thinking that each moment is the one that would change her life.

“What about you?” He asks, still holding the hand she placed in his.

“My favorite memory?” She arches eyebrow and he nods as she rolls slightly onto her back, staring up at the ceiling to think before answering.

Like Jay, she doesn’t have to think long, “That time I got really sick with the flu and you came over to fix me your mom’s soup recipe.”

It is his turn to look skeptical of her response, echoing the words she’d said to him, “That’s your favorite memory?”

“Yeah,” She nods before turning her head to look at him, “Even though I felt so crappy, I remember thinking that that was the first time that anyone had taken time out of their day to take care of me like that.”

“Hailey….” Jay breathed out, squeezing her hand as a feeling of protectiveness swept over him, his heart aching to hear that that was the first time she’d ever felt cared for while being sick.

“You made me feel safe when I wasn’t feeling good and in a vulnerable position,” She looks at him fervently, “You make me feel safe, Jay. On the job, when I’m not feeling well, and I’ve never had that before.”

He has that same look from the bar when she’d told him about how her dad would hit her mom and how she’d wished someone would come put her father in his place like Jay did with Shane.

What she didn’t tell him then was that even though Jay wasn’t around when she was a little girl to save her, he had already saved her by just being the kind of man he was.

The man who was selfless in his actions and who was brave without need of recognition, who was patient with his words and slow to anger.

So different from her dad.

From any man she’d met really, especially being in a highly competitive male-dominated career.

Jay’s forehead is creased like it does when he is distressed, so Hailey smiles at him and tries to lighten the mood, “I know what you’re thinking, and it wasn’t all bad. My brothers tried to be there for me, and we had fun when we could.”

She smiles, a little melancholy thinking of the brothers that she’d roughhoused with when she was younger and feels that little pang of sadness when she remembers they are not nearly as close as they were when they were kids, but regardless she knows she wants to let Jay in, so she chuckles to herself and starts to offer some insight to the good parts of her childhood.

“We used to build pillow forts all the time,” Hailey snuggles down into the bed, grinning as she recalls the all the messes they made in their hidden sanctuary that was the attic.

That’s where they would go when they wanted to pretend that they had a normal childhood. No one ever went up there except for them and it was fairly soundproof, so they felt safe to have a little fun without their father hearing.

“We would take all of the pillows and sheets and blankets off of our beds and haul them up the ladder leading to our attic and then my brothers would hang the sheets from the rafters, and we would pile the pillows underneath so we had a soft place to lay.”

There is a soft smile playing at Jay’s lips now and she’s glad she is sharing this rare piece of childhood wonder with him.

She wonders if he is imagining a little girl with blonde pigtails and a wide smile and some part of her hopes that that little girl is not her, but another little girl that plays with her siblings and instead of blue eyes she has green with two parents who are laughing right alongside her.

“I would crawl under those blankets and pretend like it was my mansion and that my brothers were my servants,” Jay laughs at this and Hailey gives a rueful smile, “Most of the time they were happy to indulge and if my oldest brother was in a really good mood, he was usually persuaded into reading to us younger kids.”

Jay smirks, “Now why do I get the impression that you had all your brothers wrapped around your little finger?”

She smirks right back, “Well, it’s not my fault that I was just so dang cute.”

“No, no it’s not,” He says softly, his expression suddenly so open and vulnerable she can’t help but blush.

She yawns, a sudden wave of exhaustion washing over her, and it effectively breaks any moment they were about to have as a smirk reappears on Jay’s face, “Looks like the meds are starting to kick in.”

Hailey noticed that the sharp, throbbing pain she’d woken up with had lessened to a dull ache and that her head was starting to feel fuzzy, so she knew he was right.

Yawning again, she let her eyes close, humming, “Tell me another story about you and Will.”

She hears him shift, and she knows he is settling into the pillows before his gentle voice overtakes her senses and she’s carried off with dreams of little Halstead boys with green eyes and red hair.[EF1] 

*

She’s woken by a beam of sunlight shining straight into her eyes and the last thing she remembers is listening to Jay’s soothing voice as he told her about the time he fell out of his second-story bedroom window because Will had reversed all the locks in the house as a prank and he was trying to get out.

Apparently, the only thing that had saved him from breaking something was the shed that was under his window and Hailey remembered thinking as she drifted off to sleep that it truly was a wonder that Jay had lived this long between his childhood misadventures and his penchant for getting shot in adulthood.

Turning, she is half-expecting to find him asleep beside her, but he is not there, and the mattress is cold enough that she knows he’s been gone for a while. One look at the clock tells her he has because it’s ten AM and she’s never known the man to sleep past six.

True, she’s not well-acquainted with his sleeping schedule, but she knows enough about him to know that his time in the army instilled early morning habits. Even if he was injured and she was staying with him she would find him awake by at least seven.

Carefully stretching, Hailey is pleased to find herself in significantly less discomfort than she’s experienced over the past few days and she’s hopeful that she will be able to be more mobile than she was yesterday.

She slowly pushes herself upright and looks around for any sign of Jay. His wallet and watch are missing from the nightstand and the door to the bathroom is open, so she feels safe assuming that he has gone out somewhere.

Her stomach growls and she hopes he is getting them breakfast.

It is then that she notices all the chairs and tables have been pushed to the middle of room and there are sheets stretched out over them in a semblance of a fort. The pillows that they weren’t using were thrown underneath and she feels tears prick her eyes because of course, Jay would make her a pillow fort after learning what they meant to her.

Throwing back the covers, she gently swings her legs over the edge of the bed to stand up, rubbing her eyes as a grin makes its way onto her face. She wasn’t lying when she’d told him that pillow forts were something that brought back good memories of her brothers, but she has a feeling that they may be taking on a whole new meaning to her from now on.

Of Jay and hotel rooms and lazy mornings. And if things fall into place, sometime in the future they will mean living rooms and slow kisses and little feet.

Her gaze catches the book lying on her nightstand. Her eyes sparkle as she grabs it and makes her way over to the fort, carefully squatting down so she could crawl underneath the ‘roof’ made of white sheets held up by chairs and heavy objects.

Settling comfortably on her back in the midst of the pillows piled on the floor, Hailey opens her book to her last marked page and gets lost in the world of Farewell to Arms.

*

She doesn’t know how much time has passed before her ears prick up at the sound of the hotel door being opened. She listens as Jay swings it open, catching it before it slams back into the latch as he softly calls out her name.

Staying quiet, she hears the crinkle of bags being sat on the kitchen countertop, Jay calling out her name a second time before he’s silent again, his footfalls coming closer to her spot under his fort.

She watches as his legs appear in her line of vision, his head suddenly making an appearance a few seconds later when he swoops down.

Hailey grins, “Hi.”

Jay grins back in amusement, “Hi,” He squats down in front of her, still just outside the fort, “I take it you found my surprise?”

“Mmhm,” She hums, the sparkle in her eyes softening sincerely, “Thank you, Jay. And not just for this, but for everything you’ve done for me.”

He shakes his head, “Hailey,” He pauses and huffs out an incredulous chuckle, “you don’t ever have to thank me.”

Unexpected tears spring in her eyes as his words touch her in a way she can’t quite describe. She ducks her head and blinks rapidly, trying to dissipate them before clearing her throat and looking back at Jay.

She uses her head to gesture at the space beside her and arches an eyebrow, “You coming in or what?”

Jay laughs, rolling his eyes as he slips off his shoes and carefully maneuvers his tall frame under the sheet roof.

Laying down next to her, he notices the book laying loosely in Hailey’s hands. He nods to it, giving it a pointed glance before looking at her and smirking playfully, “You want me to read to you?”

This time, she rolls her eyes and lets her body sway to gently bump him, “You want to read Ernest Hemingway to me?”

Shrugging, he plucks the book out of her hands and flips through it, “You got anything else?”

“No,” She shakes her head, “It’s the only thing I brought.”

Jay sighs as he looks at the title ruefully, “A Farewell to Arms, Hailey. Really? This is like the most depressing book on the planet.”

Frowning, she gives him an affronted look, “This is one of my favorites!”

He raises his eyebrows, shaking his head in disbelief, “I will never understand it, but okay,” He opens the book again, thumbing through the pages trying to distinguish what part she’s at because almost all the pages are dog tagged from overuse, “Where are you at?”

She diverts her gaze quickly, scrunching up her nose sheepishly before giving him a wry look, “I just got to book five.”

Jay gives her a look that says ‘really’ and huffs out a sigh as he turns to the last section, “I mean the whole book is depressing, but this is arguably the worst part.”

“But it’s so good, Jay,” She insisted, settling her head down into the pillows waiting for him to start reading.

He shakes his head again but turns his gaze to the page and starts to read, his voice gentle and lilting. Hailey thinks she could listen to him read to her for a lifetime and never get tired of hearing him.

He reads about the Henrys living in their cabin and then about Catherine preparing for the baby. When he gets to the part where she goes into labor, Jay notices a melancholy look in Hailey’s eyes as she lays quietly listening next to him, playing with her loose hair as she looks up at the billowing, white sheet.

Then he gets to the part where the doctor wants to do a C-Section and Jay swears he hears Hailey sniffling when he gets to the part where the nurse tells Frederic that the baby was dead.

He is almost to the end now, and he is surprised to find himself choking up just slightly as he reads line after line of Frederic pleading with God to save his wife. Hailey is definitely tearing up at this point and when he reads the last couple of lines, she wipes away the tears and sighs as he closes the book, clearing his own throat.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes before Jay feels like he can speak after going through that emotional rollercoaster of an ending, “God, Hailey, how do you like this?”

She shrugs, turning her head towards him and he’s slightly surprised at how close they were. If he wanted, he could barely dip his head and be kissing her.

“It’s beautiful in a gut-wrenching kind of way,” Her eyes have this inquisitive look in them, and it reminds him of how she looks when she’s going over files, trying to piece together backgrounds for motives.

He can’t help but scoff at her response, “It’s devastating is what it is. I mean the poor guy survived the war just to have his wife and child die all in one day.”

He shudders, rapidly pushing the unbidden, very unwanted image of Hailey in the same situation. God, he couldn’t even imagine, and he and Hailey were just barely on the cusp of being together.

“But it’s life,” She offers softly, a knowing look on her face and this time the look in her eyes is of someone who has seen a lot of death and unfair endings, “We know all too well how cruel this world can be.”

Jay sighs in acknowledgement, letting his head drop as they both quietly think about Hailey’s loaded statement.

He puts the book out of the way and rolls onto his side so he’s fully facing her, “Life is cruel, but it can be really beautiful too. Even in the pain.”

Hailey is quiet for a moment as she watches him, contemplating his words before she cocks her head, a strange little smile on her face, “Who knew Jay Halstead could be such a philosopher.”

Jay can’t help chuckle, his eyes crinkling merrily as he teases, “Who knew Hailey Upton could be such a sentimentalist.”

She rolls her eyes playfully, “I guess your game was good for something then. We are just partners; I guess we don’t know everything.”

She said it teasingly because they both know that they knew the things that mattered, but then Jay looks at her and she can’t quite make out the expression on his face.

“I guess so,” He murmurs back, their eyes locking, and Hailey can feel her smile fading from her face as Jay’s gaze darts to her lips.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe.

The air had shifted from light and playful into something of hopeful anticipation as they both held their breath because this was it. Somehow, she knew that this was the moment they both have been waiting for.

“Hailey,” The way he says it brings her back to flying bullets and quiet break rooms; to teary eyes and soft whispers when the threat of being spilt up was very real and too overwhelming to think about.

He’d said her name then just like he was saying it now, breathy and gentle and maybe even a little bit scared. And just maybe, Hailey thought, they had been on the edge of this for far longer than she’d even realized.

“You know, I think I have just one more question for you,” It was barely a whisper, his minty breath ghosting over her face.

Her own shallow breathing had nothing to do with her bruised ribs and stitched side but everything to do with the way his forehead was almost touching hers as they lay on their sides underneath the fort made from sheets and pillows.

The joking and the laughter and the bright sunlight of a hopeful day shining through the white sheets, surrounding her and she feels it in her bones that this is the monumental moment of their great love story—the start of a beautiful life bursting with love and tears and pain and joy and pillow forts and all the things that come with loving each other; of building a family together.

Her eyes were lidded as she looked into those brilliant green irises that she loved so much, and the feeling of warmth and affection and pure adoration washed over her as Jay’s gaze dropped to her lips before his eyes closed completely, slowly breathing her in.

Their lips were almost touching now as they lay in the quiet of a lazy afternoon of an ordinary Sunday afternoon and it was in the way it was just so natural, so comforting that made her feel like she’d just had a glass of warm milk and was now tucked up in bed.

But that tingling feeling she had low in her belly and rushing through her bones was so much better than she’d ever felt before and she knew it was much more than just an ordinary Sunday—it was an extraordinary Sunday.

“And what question would that be?” She was almost afraid to talk even at a whisper for fear of breaking the spell they were under, but the barely murmured question was filled with hope and love and affection, adding a deeper layer of warmth to the bubble they had created.

“Are we only just partners?” His nose skimmed hers as he moved his head slightly, his slightly open lips almost touching her cheek in the barest hints of a kiss.

Hailey hummed, letting out a soft little sigh as she gently ran her hands up Jay’s torso, stopping at his chest, her touch light and soft.

“Do only just partners fly all the way to New York?” It was a rhetorical question spoken in hushed tones as Jay gently nuzzled her neck before bringing his head back up to gaze at her, their lips once again mere millimeters apart. She swallowed faintly, “Because I think we both know that we aren’t just partners.”

His eyes held soft tenderness and fierce devotion, the quiet future she’d dreamed for them reflecting so clearly back at her. The pads of his fingertips touched her cheek so scarcely it almost tickled, “I’d follow you anywhere, Hailey. To New York, back to Chicago,” His gaze burned into hers and she knew he was getting ready to say the words she’d been hoping to hear for so long.

She felt the fingers of his other hand tangle with hers by their sides, “To the edge of the universe and everywhere in between. Wherever you are, I am, because you are the person I always want to come home to.”

She felt the promises land on her lips more than she heard them, his voice was so soft and quiet. And Hailey thought it was perhaps the most intimate she’d ever been with a person.

It was vulnerable and gentle and warm and just pure, unadulterated love, and she knew she would never be able to put this feeling or this moment into words, but she knows that this is where she belongs; next to him, in his arms, his heart beating under her palm.

She barely had time to whisper, “Oh Jay” before his lips were softly pressing against hers in an intentional kiss instead of fleeting brushes. It was unhurried and really quite innocent as far as kisses go, but she’d never felt more cherished than she did in that moment.

His lips just barely moved against hers, languidly filling her up as he kissed her in the way one would savor the taste of something new yet familiar.

A last first kiss.

Jay pulled back slightly, their lips still touching as he looked at her, his strong but gentle hand cupping one of her cheeks, “Because you are my home. The person I want to share it all with—the joy and the pain. The person I want to tell my secrets to. To whisper all the hopes and dreams and promises. And that’s why I love you.”

Maybe he’s crazy for telling her what he so deeply feels in his heart right away, but then he looks at her and he knows it isn’t. They were already closer than most couples ever are, and he thinks that’s what makes them so special—so different from any other relationship he’s ever had.

It isn’t crazy because it’s true and they are them.

He knows she’s already seen the truth in his eyes anyway.

*

When Jay walks into the hotel room later that day, arms laden with Greek takeout, he does he wanted to do last night and calls out a ‘honey, I’m home’ in a teasing manner.

Hailey smiles at him brightly, her eyes shining with the laughter that’s so clearly on her face, and he can’t help but drop a kiss on her dimpled cheek, marveling at the way tonight was so vastly different from the night before.

It was so easy now, to just drop a kiss to her cheek or her lips whenever he wanted, like he’d been doing it for years and yet, he still had that buzzy feeling of anticipation that he’d had this morning when he kissed her for the first time.

Something tells him that it’s going to always feel like that when kissing her no matter how many times he does it over the course of their lifetimes and that thought alone sends his heart racing and makes him think dangerous things like rings and vows and forevers.

He knows, he knows, it’s definitely way too early for those types of thoughts, but then again, that has never stopped him from imagining a future with her before. Before they were even together. But now they are, and it’s proving difficult to not think about the thing that he’s wanted for so long is realistically and finally within his grasp.

“What?” She’s cocking her head, her lips quirking up in a question and he realizes he’s been staring at her for the past couple of minutes.

Jay shakes his head, lips quirking up in a smile of his own, “Nothing.”

Hailey gives him an inquisitive look like she’s not entirely sure she believes him, but the grin on her face tells him she’s too happy to care. She turns back to where she is gingerly picking up the room, gathering their collective dirty laundry to throw in the washing machines downstairs and he is suddenly, once again struck with the thought of this is what he wants his future to look like.

“What are we gonna do for the next couple of days? I’m probably not up for traipsing all over New York, but we should do something other than stay in this hotel room.”

Her back is to him as she talks and continues to tidy the messy room, leaving the fort for now, but gathering up a few pillows that are laying on the floor to throw back on the bed.

“We’d both go crazy, especially considering I’m not allowed to do anything ‘physically active’ which is, not going to lie, kind of a bummer seeing as how I’ve waited for ages for you to make a move and we’re here totally alone with nothing to potentially interrupt us,” She rattles on casually like she’s talking about the weather and while he is also bummed at not being able to take that final step of being together totally and completely for another couple of weeks, he is thrilled that they have this time together to get to know each other as a couple.

There are more intimate things than just sex and those are the moments he is looking forward to. He wants to know what she finds romantic and how much she likes to cuddle and if she hogs the blankets at night or if her feet get cold.

Things that only a boyfriend would know.

He realizes she’s stopped talking and is looking at him again, this time with an eyebrow raised in exasperation, “Jay! Have you been listening to me at all?”

He blinks and shakes his head sheepishly, knowing she must have been waiting on an answer to a question he hadn’t heard.

Her eyes furrow inquisitively as she shakes her own head in slight amusement before turning back to her task, muttering something about how he was an idiot, but she loves him anyway.

“Hailey,” He blurts it out, like he’s desperate, like if he doesn’t say what he wants now then he’s afraid it’ll never happen. She looks back at him again, this time with a hint of concern on her face, but he’s just looking at her like a man in love and she’s his whole world.

“Let’s get married.”

*

“Well, look who it is! The elusive damsel and her brooding knight in shining armor,” Adam exclaimed, his arms flung out wide as Jay and Hailey made their way up the steps and into the bullpen.

Hailey glared at him, but the smile threatening to take over her face ruined the effect, “Ha ha, very funny. A girl goes away for a while and she’s suddenly elusive, she gets hurt and now she’s a damsel.”

She accepts the gentle hug that Adam was offering as Kevin and Kim crowded in behind them at the top of the steps, waiting for their turn to welcome her home.

“Hailey, you can’t ever leave again. Or if you do, you gotta take me with you because one more day alone with these children and I would’ve lost my mind,” Kim insists as she moves in for a hug of her own.

There was a chorus of affronted heys’ from Adam, Kevin and Jay as Hailey chuckled at the desperation in Kim’s voice.

“Also, clearly you need us watching your back because the second you go off without us, you get hurt,” The statement is meant to be funny and it gets the eye-roll it deserves, but Hailey knows this is Kim’s way of saying she’s glad she’s okay.

Hailey is sure had they been alone, Kim would have been more direct with her feelings of relief, but as women in the force, they had to be careful not to exude to much sentimentality even if they know their unit would never use it against them.

“We sure did miss you, girl,” Kevin tells her as he steps up for a hug of his own and she grins into the man’s broad chest when she hears Jay mutter a, “And what am I? Chopped liver?”

Adam starts to tease him, but whatever he was about to say is cut off by Kim’s loud gasp as she all but yanks Hailey’s hand which was still resting on Kevin’s back to her face.

“Oh my God,” The squeal that comes out of her mouth is one none of them had ever heard before as she pulls on Hailey’s arm, bringing her fingers to eyelevel as she narrowed in on something that hadn’t been there before.

“Did you get married?!”

That definitely got the other’s attention, Kevin and Adam’s heads’ immediately snapping over to look at Hailey’s left hand that Kim still had a hold of, “Holy crap, Hailey. You go away for like five weeks and you come back freaking married?”

Hailey tries retracting her hand, but Kim still has a tight hold on it, staring at the engagement and wedding band on her ring finger of her left hand. She opens her mouth to say something, but she doesn’t get very far before Kim’s talking again, “I’m sorry, but who the hell did you marry?”

There is a beat of silence before Adam curses under his breath, muttering a ‘no way’ as he practically leaps across desks to grab Jay’s left hand which was rifling through his duffel bag. Much like Kim did with Hailey, Adam brings Jay’s hand to his face, pulling him half-way across his desk and ignoring his protests.

“Holy no way,” Kim’s eyes were about as wide as saucers as they all glanced back and forth between the two partners.

“You two got freaking married?” Kim says again, her voice at an unnaturally high pitch.

Hailey can’t help but smirk at Kim’s expression as she sits down with her mouth slightly agape and has to suppress a laugh at Kevin and Adam’s matching dumbfounded expressions. She shares a secret look with Jay, the sparkle of laughter evident in his eyes.

She glances over their friends before shrugging and offering a simple, “Surprise!”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Adam states as he slowly sinks into his desk chair, his face whiter than Hailey had ever seen it.

She knew their news would be a shock, but she didn’t think it warranted this strong of a reaction. Jay sends her another look that says the same thing and she knows he’s about to ask Adam if everything was okay when Kevin starts laughing.

“Oh man. Dude, what did we tell you?” He snorts, holding out an opened palm as Adam looks up at him in disbelief.

“I didn’t think it would actually happen and you told me nothing of the sort,” He defends, looking very uncertain, his eyebrows furrowed in distress.

Swallowing, Adam finally looks at them, flicking his eyes between her and Jay, “You told Trudy, didn’t you? Why would you do that?”

Jay shoots Hailey a look before slowly shaking his head, “No, Adam, we didn’t tell anyone.”

His face goes even whiter than it was before, and he sinks out of his chair to sit on the floor, burying his head in his hands.

Kim’s eyes widened and she looked at Adam warily, “Adam, what did you do?” Her eyes narrowed in alarmed suspension, “Don’t tell me you actually made that bet with Trudy.”

Adam was now lying flat on his back in the floor, his head moving back and forth in misery as he groaned, “I thought I had it in the bag. I mean, if Jay and Hailey didn’t tell her then how the hell did she come up with exactly what happened? That’s one hell of a coincidence.”

Kevin shook his head in slightly terrified admiration, “I don’t know, man. Trudy Platt is as mysterious as they come, and she has mad skills.”

Hailey’s eyebrows furrow as she watches Adam’s dramatics play out in front of her, “What bet? What are you guys talking about?”

Kim and Kevin share a look, ignoring Adam who was still moaning in disbelief on the floor behind his desk and at Kevin’s shrug, Kim looks back at Hailey and Jay.

“Well,” She draws it out like one who is coming clean about something they don’t particularly want to divulge, “We’ve had bets going for a while on when you two were going to get together because we all knew this was going to happen sooner or later and we decided the other day that it was going to be sooner rather than later because of the whole New York thing.”

“And somehow Trudy ended up pitching the idea of you guys eloping and I guess Adam was stupid enough to take the bet,” She purses her lips, “Not that any of us actually thought you were going to get married. Together, yes, but married?”

Kim trails off and Hailey’s eyebrows arch warily, “Wait a second. What do you mean ‘we all knew this was going to happen sooner or later’? Because to be completely honest, I didn’t even know if it was going to happen till a few days ago.”

“Girl,” Kevin shakes his head and uncrosses his arms to put his hands in his pockets, “You have no idea the amount of gossip you guys generate down in patrol. You two are like a freaking slow-burn romance novel,” At Kim’s odd look he hurries to add, “Not that I know anything about those. That’s just what Vanessa says and honestly, this whole thing was started by her so you can just go find her in whatever undercover operation Narcotics has her in and bring it up with her.”

There is a slightly uncomfortable pause as Hailey and Jay take in the information that they are already a source of gossip in the district, but it’s broken by another one of Adam’s distressed groans.

“Man,” Jay looks over at him, his eyebrows arching like he was finally fed up with his friends’ bemoaning, “What the hell kind of deal did you make with Trudy.”

Kim crosses her arms, also clearly unimpressed, “You know, I’d also like to know what has you rolling around like you’re in state mourning.”

“I didn’t think they were actually going to get married, or I would have never made the bet,” Adam insists again, running his hands over his face, “I owe her a months’ worth of drinks at Molly’s, and I have to do school crossings for the rest of the school year.”

Jay laughs, “Oh man,” He shakes his head in amusement, “You do realize it’s only February, right?”

Adam glared at him, “Oh shut up.”

Clambering to his feet in a huff of despair, he heads dejectedly towards the stairs, “I guess I’d better go settle up before Platt comes up here to rub it in my face.”

They watch him go, each trying to hold in snorts of laughter before he disappeared around the corner and Kevin turns back to where Hailey and Jay have taken up residence at Hailey’s desk.

“I still can’t believe you two are actually married,” He rubs his face briefly with an astonished huff of laughter, “Together, I could believe. In fact, I have money on it, but married? Like, what inspired you to skip the dating phase?”

Hailey and Jay share an amused look, her expression changing imperceptibly before Jay turns back to Kim and Kevin, “I guess we should probably come clean.”

They look a little confused for a moment before Kim creases her forehead skeptically, “Wait a second,” Her eyes widen in realization before she slowly starts to speak, “Are you telling us that was all a joke?”

“Well,” Hailey smirks, starting to remove the wedding and engagement bands on her finger as Jay did the same with the wedding band he was wearing, “The married part was a joke but the together part,” She looks at Jay and he gives her a soft smile full of warmth and love, “That’s for real.”

“Wait, seriously?” Kevin gave an impressed grin, chuckling, “So, Adam didn’t really lose that bet?”

Jay shrugged, grinning, “No, not technically,” He winks, “but we don’t need to tell him that.”

“I honestly can’t believe that turned out as well as it did,” Hailey shakes her head in disbelief, “We had no idea Adam had made that bet with Trudy. We just thought it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t because that was entertaining as hell and I for one am going to enjoy watching Adam carry out a bet he actually didn’t lose,” Kim flops down in her desk chair, powering up her computer as she laughs.

Kevin follows suit, laughing as they all turn to their computers to start the workday. They have to smother snickers when half an hour later, Adam trudges up the steps with a smug looking Trudy Platt following him, rattling off his new school crossing schedule.

*

“I can’t tell you how good it feels to be back,” Hailey sighs, leaning into Jay as they walk out of the district and into the roll-up, Jay’s arm slung around her shoulders.

He kisses the side of her head, “It feels good to have you back. I know I’ve said this before, but nothing was the same while you were gone. I hope everything will start to go back to normal now that you’re here with me.”

Hailey suddenly extracts herself out from under his arm and puts a good couple of inches distance in between them. Jay frowns, confused at her sudden coldness, “Hailey?”

“What?” She gives him an innocent look, a smile starting to tug at her lips, “You said you hope things go back to normal. This is normal for us.”

Jay gives her an unimpressed look, “Ha ha. Very funny. You know what I meant.”

She chuckles and lets Jay sling his arm over her shoulders again as they continue to walk over to where he parked the truck earlier.

“A new normal then,” He amends, “One where I get to kiss you and touch you and tell you how much I love you.”

Nestling her head into his shoulder, she looks up at him with a heartfelt smile, “Sounds good to me.”

They are at the truck now and Jay walks with her to the passenger’s side before stopping to turn and face her, his hands coming to rest on her upper arms. He takes a breath and Hailey’s eyebrows furrow at the almost nervous expression he is wearing, “I know that whole marriage thing today was a joke, but I meant what I said while we were in New York.”

Hailey remembers the initial shock she felt when Jay had blurted out that they should get married as they stood in their hotel room mere hours after their first kiss. He hurried to add that he meant sometime in the future, but he wanted to let her know how serious he was about this relationship even if it was way to early by most standards to be talking about marriage.

She’d listened to him ramble on uncharacteristically about how he loved her, that she was it for him and he just wanted her to know that. That one day in probably the near future he wanted to ask her for real and he hoped beyond all belief that she would say yes because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her but even if she didn’t want to get married, he was okay with that. He just wanted to be with her on any terms.

After she got over the surprise of his statement, she found that she wasn’t frightened by how fast things seemed to be moving and if it had been anyone other than Jay, she knew deep in her bones that she would be running for the hills at even the hint of marriage.

But it was Jay and if she were being honest, she would’ve married him back in New York if he’d asked her to and she would marry him tomorrow if he dropped down on his knee right now to propose to her.

Jay swallowed and she could see his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, “You are it for me and someday, I’m going to ask you to marry me. I hope to God you say yes, but I want you to know that as long as I’m with you, my life is filled with purpose, so we don’t need to define anything with a piece of paper or anything. I just need you to know how serious I am about this.”

“Jay,” She interjects softly, placing a hand on his chest over his rapidly beating heart, “Today, tomorrow, ten years from now. If and whenever you ask me,” She smiles gently as she moves to cup his stubbled cheek, “My answer will always be yes.”

I hope the ending wasn’t too cringy, but I had to end it somewhere lol! As always, let me know what you thought!

Love you all and can’t wait to see you for my next project!

[flowerpowelltales]

Until You Hate Me (Liam x MC)

PART THREE - THE BEGINNING

A/N: Yes, I do feel ashamed I forgot about this series for TWO years. I also am aware most of you, who have been tagged, dont even remember ever reading this series. If you’d like to be taken off the taglist just let me know because I don’t want to bother anyone. If you want a refresher - it’s the series where Regina pays Riley to be the worst suitor ever so that in two weeks, Liam would have to marry someone Regina picked for him. Previous parts are on my masterlist. Shoutout to the Nonny who motivated me to write this part. Hope y’all enjoy! Characters belong to PB. 

Rating: G

Word count: 1692

Tagging: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @blackcatkita @badchoicesposts @jared2612 @princess-geek @desiree-pow-35-1986​ @emichelle​ @ao719​ @cordoniantrash @kinggliam @needalittlerain @flyawayboo @nazariortega @jlpplays1 @kimmiedoo5 @annekebbphotography​ @ladyangel70​ @eadanga​ @kingliam2019​ @nz1091​ @emceesynonymroll @texaskitten30 @mskaneko​ @custaroonie @drakesensworld​ @janezillow @ritachacha​ @lodberg​ @msjr0119​ @gkittylove99​ @sweatyrysconnoisseur​ @dcbbw​ @potter1-7harry​

“Welcome to Cordonia,” Liam said when the Royal Jet finally landed. He looked at Riley warily as she took in the sights. The flight was a total disaster and made him rethink his whole life. If he hadn’t known better he’d think she wanted to sabotage his mission.

“Looks sick,” she said and Liam sighed.

“Liam, Riley, the car is here. Come before anyone spots us.” Regina nodded towards their driver.

“Whoa, we have our own driver? That’s mad!”

Regina raised an eyebrow in a ‘do-not-overdo-it’ manner but Riley ignored it. For her it was either go hard or go home. Literally, because if she failed she’d go home with no money.

The ride from the private airport to the palace was silent; Riley was admiring the views, Liam was thinking if he made the right choice and Regina was already planning Liam’s wedding to Madeleine.

When they arrived, Regina excused herself and went straight into her office.

“What do you think?” Liam asked politely when they were the only two left.

“It looks so… majestic. Like something I’d expect a palace look like but at the same time like something I wouldn’t expect. It’s gorgeous.”

Liam turned to her stunned by her words. What happened to “sick” and “mad”? Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, after all.

“Come inside,” he said and extended his hands towards her. She took it and then gasped at the interior.

“It’s so regal and so big and oof—” Riley was almost knocked out by a small, fluffy ball that jumped at her.

“Ah, this is Chance, Maxwell’s dog. He must feel you’re a good person because he is never that happy about strangers.” Liam smiled as he leaned to take her coat. She handed it to him and when Liam walked away to hang it, she bent over to Chance. 

“Hey, buddy! I’m super flattered you like me but can you please bite me or start barking at me so Liam doesn’t think I’m good?” She asked and Chance titled his head in confusion. “You see,” she lowered her voice, “I have a mission to complete.”

When Chace still couldn’t understand, Riley tried to speak his language.

“Woof woof woof woof,” she barked at Chance in low voice.

“Um… is everything okay, lady Riley?” Liam asked, suddenly appearing behind her. Shoot.

“Mhm. Just talking to that cute little muffin. And please, call me Riley. I’m no lady.”

“If you insist. Would you like to see your room?”

“Sure! Does it have a mini fridge? I bet it’s totally dope!”

Liam shook his head in disbelief. Riley changed her mood every few minutes. He couldn’t figure her out. Sometimes she was serious and really fun to talk to but then she changed again and acted like a spoiled teenager.

“Here we are.” Liam motioned the room when they finally reached the guest chamber. “It doesn’t have a mini fridge but you can call any of the staff members to ask for whatever you’d like, anytime.”

“Cool.”

“Ah, Liam! Riley! I am so glad to see you both here!” Regina exclaimed with a smiled on her face. “We have a dinner today with a few of our friends. Liam, please help lady Riley to prepare for it.”

“Of course, Regina. Who are we expecting?” Liam asked.

“Duchess Olivia Nevrakis, Lord Neville, Duchess Adelaide, her daughter and Duke Godfrey, lady Hana Lee and her parents, and a few of the court members.”

Liam nodded politely but started to panic internally. Lord Neville, Godfrey and Adelaide weren’t exactly the first people he wanted Riley to be introduced to. He knew too well how they treated commoners and how awful they could be. He had only about two hours before the dinner to go through the royal protocol, table manners, dress code and how to address who. When he looked up at Riley he noticed she was already studying him.

“Everything’s alright?”

“Yes, it is. I just thought we would have more time before your debut.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that! I was born ready!” she said reassuringly, which, ironically, made Liam even less reassured.

~~~~

“So when I see Hana Lee’s dad I should say ‘ni hao’, right?”

“Correct! And can you please repeat how you would address Duchess Olivia?”

“Your Grace,” Riley replied.

“Exactly. And Lord Neville?”

“…Also your Grace?”

“Yes. How would you address me, then?”

“Your Majesty?”

“No, Majesty is used for Kings and Queens. I’m not a King yet so I ought to be addressed ‘your Highness’.”

“So Regina is her Majesty?” Riley asked.

“Precisely. Now, what is my title?”

“Prince?”

“Full title.”

“Prince Louis of Cordonia.”

“Ye—What? What Louis?��

“Your name isn’t Louis?”

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s Liam.”

“Oh, right! Sorry, I’ve always had a problem with remembering names.”

Liam smiled but wanted to scream. Remembering names was probably one of the most important things Riley had to learn. And she forgot even his.

“Let me get this straight, when I talk to you I always have to use ‘your highness’?”

“When we’re with nobility, yes. It shows respect. When there’s only me and you, or friends and family, you can call me by my name,” he explained.

“Which is Louis!”

“Liam,” he corrected. Again.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Riley apologized. “I’ll just need something to associate you with… Oh! I know! I used to listen to One Direction a lot and Liam was the name of one of the singers! I liked him a lot!”

“Whatever works for you.” Liam smiled, feeling less and less enthusiastic about his mission.

~~~~

Two hours and three braincell losses later, Riley was walking arm in arm with Liam, into the ballroom. She was wearing a very expensive dress, more expensive than everything she owned altogether. She was very stressed and started to regret coming here. Pretending to be the worst suitor in front of Liam was one thing, but pretending to be the worst suitor in front of all Cordonian nobility was a completely different thing.

“Look, there’s Xinghai, he’s coming here,” Liam whispered and Riley nodded as the man approached them. Liam nudged Riley.

Okay. Show time.

“Hey hoe!” She yelled, making everyone freeze.

I hate myself.

“Riley!” Liam hissed, pinching her arm.

“Excuse me?” Xinghai asked as if not believing his ears.

“I think Riley tried to say ‘ni hao’, is that right?” Liam raised his eyebrows and Riley felt sick.

“Yes! Ni hao! I’m so sorry, I’m very bad at languages!”

Xinghai shook his head. “If you say so.”

“Hi, I’m Hana! And this is my mother, Lorelai.” A girl with a very friendly face extended her hand as if she hadn’t noticed that huge faux-pas. Her mom barely smiled at her.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Your Highness.” A man approached them and raised a glass. “I feel deeply honored to be invited here today. Her Majesty mentioned you would bring an American suitor, is this that lovely lady?”

Riley didn’t know who it was but she sure hated him already. She looked at Liam and realized she wasn’t the only one thinking so.

“Lord Neville. I am very happy you could join us. Yes, this is lady Riley, my suitor. Lady Riley, this is Lord Neville.”

“Lord? Like Lord of the Rings? Is that even a real title?” she asked.

“Excuse me?” Neville was confused and Liam embarrassed. From the corner of her eye, Riley could see Regina smiling at the sight.

At least someone is happy with what I’m doing.

“I believe we haven’t met.” A blond woman interrupted them, holding a glass of champagne in one hand and a very unhappy man in the other.

“This is Duchess Adelaide, Duke Godfrey and their daughter, Countess Madeleine. And this lovely woman by my side is lady Riley.”

“Hi y’all! Louis told me so much about you!” She heard Liam sighing.

“Hmph” was all Godfrey said. The rest of the family looked confused.

“Who’s Louis?” Adelaide asked.

“What happened to One Direction association?” Liam whispered to her when the family wasn’t looking.

“I forgot Louis was in the band, too,” she replied.

“If you excuse us,” Liam turned to Adelaide, “but we need to say hello to Duchess Olivia. Thank you for coming.”

He quickly led Riley far from Adelaide and Godfrey, avoiding other court members on the way. He couldn’t do this. At least not today. Riley clearly wasn’t ready.

“Why hello there,” a lady with red hair and a matching dress greeted them.

“Olivia. Hello. How are you?” Liam started a small talk and Riley noticed he was more relaxed talking to her than he was talking to other people. She must be a friend, she thought.

“I’m great. Haven’t been to a party that is as much fun as this one. And it’s all thanks to you. I’m Olivia.”

“Riley. You’re the Ice Queen?” Riley asked remembering Lythikos was a winter wonderland. She hoped Olivia would be offended just like the others but to her surprise the Duchess burst out laughing.

“Ice Queen! I like her already,” she said as she wiped a tear from her eye. “Absolutely loved when she questioned Neville’s title. The man’s pain in the ass.”

“I’m glad you find it funny,” Liam said firmly. Olivia shrugged and turned to take another glass of wine.

“I’m really sorry I embarrassed you, Louis.”

“Liam,” he corrected.

“Liam,” Riley repeated. “I’ve just came to Cordonia and had only two hours to take it all in. I’ll be better in time.” Not sure how better at making you hate me I can get though.

“It’s fine. Listen, it’s me who should be apologizing. As you said, you just came here and within a few hours you had to learn things I learned throughout the years.”

Riley’s eyes widened. She embarrassed him, she humiliated him and he still apologized? She felt awful.

“I still feel bad. I promise I won’t let you down,” she lied and Liam smiled.

“I’m happy to hear that because we’re visiting our apple orchard tomorrow and the press will be there to meet you, too.”

Riley gulped as she smiled at Liam.

That only meant she had to try even harder.