Neil Perry wearing his Welton coat inside his home in his final scene because even at home he’s still a student. To his father, he’s only just a grade. Even at home he can’t separate himself from Welton because that’s all he is.
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
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eiffel's problem is that he sees every injustice as an interpersonal issue. he doesn't understand how his flippancy or apparent leniency towards hilbert might look to hera; in his mind, it doesn't contradict his support for her. to eiffel, it seems obvious - he is also one of hilbert's victims, hera is his friend, of course he's completely on her side - but he fails to fully grasp how the stakes are different for her.
ep 19: "you need to stop treating this like a joke, officer eiffel." / "hey, i'm the person for whom the joke tolls." / "i get you're scared he put something inside you. but i hope you haven't forgotten emergency code alpha victor. he put that in me." and ep 51: "they're just jokes! they don't really mean anything." / "see, eiffel, you get to have that. they can be 'just jokes' for you because you're... well, you. but we don't get that."
the issue in shut up and listen is eiffel's repeated, if unintentional, microaggressions, but it's also his general use of dark humor as a coping mechanism - jokes he feels justified in making because of how the subjects of those jokes have impacted him. eiffel sincerely believes in treating people equally, but his idea of 'equal treatment' can be idealistic and naive. he has an awareness of interpersonal harm, but he's lived most of his life without ever being confronted with the reality of structural harm - being pre-judged and othered and having his life devalued on the basis of outside categorization.
but the thing about that is that it has happened to him, too. eiffel is an addict, and a convict, and marked as from a lower socioeconomic class than minkowski or lovelace, and those things are the reasons goddard futuristics was able to buy him as prison labor and - without his consent - consider him expendable for medical experimentation. none of that is a coincidence, but he doesn't see the systems at work, only his own actions and regrets. which he then equivocates to the worst actions of people who don't share his sense of morality or guilt.
eiffel's ability to recognize and bring out the humanity in the people around him is one of his best qualities, but... on the basis of his identity, he's been able to live a life where he conceptualizes himself as the default person, and that's been reinforced by the pop culture he loves so much. that's a massive blind spot. he assumes everyone navigates the world in a similar way, and so, on some level, he sees everyone around him as an extension of or a reflection of himself. if evil is always personal, then it can always be reasoned with.
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adventure time, baby, I'm going to keep it real with you: you had the perfect meta setup (a spinoff of a children's cartoon made for adults who grew up with said cartoon) for a story about two characters desperate to return to simpler times (fionna longing for the subconscious memory of a fantasy land where nothing is complex and she won't have to face the trials of young adulthood in her now-mundane world, simon longing to lose his mind again so he won't have to remember his grief) coming to realize that the "simpler times" they remember were never as straightforward as their idealized memories (fionna realizing that her black-and-white worldview was actually just deeply biased and ultimately harmful, simon realizing that ice king was just as miserable as simon himself and simply lacked the tools to parse his own emotions), the idealized past they want to return to was never real, and in order to move forward, they have to face the painful realities they've been trying to avoid, mature as people, and learn to see beauty and value in their own respective lives, even if they're not the lives they'd hoped for
and then that didn't happen. there was a perfect metaphor for the false allure of nostalgia using THE "whimsical at first glance/shockingly grim under the surface" children's cartoon RIGHT THERE. How Did You Fuck That Up
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speaking as an autistic person, the secret to making friends (and meaningful romantic/sexual relationships) is 95% just engaging in a genuine way. if someone doesn't want to be friends with you when you're being yourself, their friendship wouldn't be something you want anyway. the sad irony is that a lot of SELF-consciousness puts ppl off because... they can tell you're thinking about yourself & not them.
people just want to be seen and valued as a human being (and to have fun!). they don't want to feel like you're just using them to fill a need, or their company actually makes you kind of miserable and stressed or you can't be yourself around them. they want to feel like you enjoy their company and are interested in them. if you're autistic use your earnest swag & they love it because it invites them to be genuine and at ease too!!
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Had a moment today that exemplifies how my family thinks but like, in a way that’s just very sad and makes me glad I don’t think that way.
Showed a relative the amazing painting that friend did for me, and her first response was “you’d be able to sell that for some good money!!!”
Like. No????
For months I’ve discussed this creative trade with this friend, we’ve talked about what the other wants, we’ve gotten excited about it and traded progress pics as we work on it for each other, gotten stoked over making plans to get to the post office and seeing the other finally get it, and it’s just been a very wholesome and very fun project. It took six weeks for us to complete these projects, and now I have something on display in my room that makes me very happy, that’s objectively beautiful, and that I know a friend put a lot of effort into making for me and was THRILLED when I adored it.
And my family’s immediate line of thinking is “make a few quid from it lol”.
I can’t imagine the headspace it must take to go through life like that.
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i do think being unconditionally loved is an experience that can be so so healing actually. it cant ever fix anything alone but to feel loved and valued and considered is something that makes carrying burdens just that little bit easier. to trust that youre someone they think about when youre not around, because they tell you. to feel like youre someone important to them because they tell you. to feel safe in knowing youre not being too intense, too annoying, too much, because everything you offer is offered right back without a seconds hesitation. this isnt something i ever thought id get to have, but i found it when i wasnt even looking. and no, it still isnt easy. it doesn't change most things. but it gives you a reason to try.
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One thing ive been thinking about lately is that like
Its okay to only ever make bad art. Its okay to only paint "boring" things or only draw the same thing a million times or only be "okay" at sewing or crochet. Sometimes i think theres this idea that its okay to make bad art because its part of the process of making good art, but i think its fine to make art that is bad or just okay and not keep looking at it thinking about ways it is flawed or ways to make it better. If you want to improve and grow, thats great and you will through the process of just doing something over and over or looking for advice or other ways of learning.
But its also totally okay to only ever want to make bad art
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