#since I started t I've been growing chest hair and I really like how my cleavage looks with the hair

[fungalnebula]

What I love most about Gandalf big naturals is how much it eases my chest dysphoria. I can sleep without a shirt on now because of Gandalf Big Naturals. Knowing that the artist made the original image while recovering from top surgery and said the image was like a final parting gift from their boobs makes me feel even better about the image's effect on me. Men with big naturals makes me feel much more good about my body than those old posts on here that were like "trans men! Some men have pecs!!! So don't feel dysphoric <3". It's much more meaningful to see a hairy, bearded man with a huge H cup rack not letting his tits get in the way of his masculinity.

Most of all, Gandalf Big Naturals helped me love my body the way it is instead of hating something that's a part of me. Of course I still want top surgery but the fact that I can live with my own big naturals until then without wanting to guillotine them off is really important.

[perotovar]

into the beat of the night (ch 1) "transmission"

gif by me, moodboard by the lovely @sp00kymulderr ♥

pairing: frankie morales/nb!oc (they/them) rating: T (for now) chapter warnings: discussions of sexuality/gender (frankie doesn't understand some things and may use language that would be harmful, but it's not intentional), limited knowledge of the military, goth stereotypes abound, mentions of drug addiction/recovery, swearing, cute shit word count: 2.7k dividers by @saradika

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series summary: frankie morales thought he had himself figured out by now. he liked both men and women, had dated both in the past. but when someone that challenges what he thinks that means comes into his life, in an unlikely place, he truly learns who he is, and more importantly, who he loves.

series masterlist

a/n - i can't thank y'all enough for giving my fic a chance! i'm really nervous about posting it since i haven't properly written anything in years, but i've had some lovely cheerleaders (@scenaaario - who is also my lovely beta, i want to kiss you on the mouth for making this fic sound like i wanted it to ♥♥ - @undercoverpena @mrsquill and @kedsandtubesocks i love you guys ♥) along the way that gave me the motivation to post this little story. comments and reblogs are super appreciated! i'd love to hear what y'all think <3

In 1994, the U.S. adopted “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” as the official federal policy on military service by lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals. It was officially repealed in 2011. Seventeen years. For seventeen years, LGBTQ folks, Frankie included, had to hide. At least, he felt he needed to.

He knew he was bisexual when he and his childhood best friend Mateo were in their sophomore year of high school. Frankie and all the other boys started to hit puberty the year before and things were changing: facial hair was slowly growing, voices were dropping.  Mateo started to develop a little faster than Frankie did. Frankie really liked how Mateo was developing. It was a little weird, because they’d been best friends since they were still wearing underoos, but Frankie started to feel things whenever he hung out with Mateo. Things he normally only felt whenever Alana in third period flipped her hair over her shoulder, or whenever Charlotte in fifth period stretched before she started writing and her sweater pulled over her chest a little too much.

Frankie didn’t know what to do with this information or these feelings. He didn’t have a word for any of it, so he just never said anything. He had a couple girlfriends throughout high school, and to anyone who cared to think on it, would see that Frankie was like any other straight, high school boy.

In 1994, Francisco Morales joined the military. He was nineteen. It was never his plan growing up to join, but his dad always wanted him to. When he didn’t have his own plan after high school, he figured it was a safe bet since he had family in the service. While there, he worked his way up in the ranks and eventually met his brothers: Santiago, Benny, Will, and Tom. They would die for each other, had signed up to do so, in fact. He’d grown closest to Santiago, and it was the first time since he was 15 that he got those feelings again. He pushed them to the side, though, because that’s when she came into his life. He didn’t need those feelings getting in the way.

Frankie’s bisexuality really only came into his life a couple of times. His first girlfriend in the military, Layla, was also bisexual and that’s when he learned what the word was and that it also applied to him. She only ever told him since Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was in full swing. Of course he kept her secret, because she also kept his.

The only one of his group of brothers that didn’t know about his sexuality was Tom. He didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him, and the others agreed it was best to keep it quiet. Santiago was the first one to know, then Will, and finally Benny. Ben was Ben about it when he found out. He immediately hugged Frankie and excitedly suggested they go to a gay bar instead of their usual hang out. It made Frankie laugh and Will smacked Ben on the back of the head. (They did end up going to a couple of gay bars from time to time. Frankie only went home with a guy once and the guys gave him a lot of shit for it, asking for details. Santiago gave him a smile and patted him on the back and said, “I’m glad you’re finally here, hermano.”)

Frankie had one man he’d consider a “boyfriend” in his life. After he left the military and after DADT was repealed, he went on a bit of a binge. He started hooking up with people more often, despite his introverted nature. He was always careful, safe, and eventually kept to one man for a couple years, before an especially messy breakup.  They were both pilots in the military, but were based in different states; Frankie in Florida, and Jackson in Kentucky. They bonded quickly after meeting at a nightclub in Nashville. Neither one of them remembers why they were there, but they made it a point to see each other frequently, each of them taking turns flying out to see the other.

The breakup happened after Jackson found Frankie’s stash for the last time. The military affected everyone differently. For Frankie, his coke addiction is what got him through the sleepless nights. Jackson had found Frankie one too many times leaned over the back of a toilet and snorting god knows what. Jackson had his own problems with drugs and felt that Frankie ignored them in search of his next fix. Addiction had completely taken over Frankie’s life for the better part of five years. Frankie hated Jackson for leaving him when he most needed him, and lashed out, accusing Jackson of only ever wanting to fuck. That broke Jackson, as he thought about how deeply he loved Frankie. Gay marriage was legalized a year later, and had things panned out differently, they might still be together. He doesn’t blame Jackson for leaving anymore.

Frankie’s daughter, Marisol, changed everything. She was the love of his life, and he would do anything for her. After going back to his days of sleeping around after Jackson left, he met Maya. He kept telling her that he would get clean and go to therapy while she was pregnant, but not until he held his little Marisol in his arms for the first time did he commit to both. He and Maya never planned on being together officially, and decided co-parenting would be their best option. 

He’d been clean and sober for two years by the time Santi told him about the Colombia job. He hadn’t flown, or been allowed to in that time, and was pretty content to never do so again. Every time he got in the pilot’s seat, it would take him to terrible places. But Santi was his best friend, so he took the job. He relapsed when he got home, after Tom. He never blamed Santi for it. He gave Frankie a choice, and where he could’ve said no, he didn’t.

Which brings him to where he is now, two years after Colombia. He’d crossed the street and stood in line for the entrance. He hadn’t been to this nightclub in a while. He looked up at the sign for the club, and raised an eyebrow. The Night Owl. That… isn’t what it was called last time. Was it sold? Apparently, it had recently undergone a rebranding, with new owners, and a slightly… different clientele. 

The best way he could describe it now was that it was a goth club. Frankie had never personally been to this sort of club, not really being a fan of the music or subculture, but never had a negative opinion either. He stuck out like a sore thumb when he entered, the bouncer giving him a once over and chuckling, but letting him in anyway. 

He made his way over to the bar and had a seat, taking in his surroundings and started people watching. He planned on going out tonight, and possibly go home with someone. A club is a club, so he decided to stick around and see what all the fuss was about. 

The walls shook with the heavy bass and beats of the music. It wasn’t like anything he’d heard before. His nostrils filled with the scent of clove cigarettes and hairspray. Everywhere he looked, someone completely decked out in teased hair and black clothing caught his attention. He smiled softly at all the variations in people’s style, wondering how long it took for all of them to get ready in the morning.

The bartender, a large man with heavy eye makeup and a lot of chains and spikes, came up to him and smirked. He felt a presence behind him and when Frankie finally faced forward again, he startled a little, not expecting such an imposing figure to be giving him a staredown.

“What’ll you be havin’, stripes?”

“Stripes?”

The bartender, who had a patch sewed onto his denim vest that read “Viper”, rolled his eyes and gestured vaguely to Frankie’s whole self. “You mean to tell me you’re not military?”

Frankie blinked a couple times and huffed a laugh. “Ex-military, yeah. Is that… okay?”

Viper gave him a long look, eyes slightly narrowed, and pointed to one of the many tattoos on his arm, up high on his shoulder. It was an old one, a little faded, but Frankie recognized it as the stripes given to Sergeant Majors.  “I left after this. Got injured,” he said.

“Sorry to hear that.”

Viper shrugged and reached under the bar, cleaning a glass. “I’m not. So what’re you havin’?”

Frankie thought about it for a second. “I’ll probably regret this, but surprise me.”

An amused look crossed Viper’s features, but he nodded and started mixing a drink for him. Frankie noticed all the ingredients used; lager beer, hard cider, and some kind of syrup. He raised a brow and picked up the glass as Viper slid it across the bar for him. Frankie gave him a look as if to say, ‘Is this safe?’ despite having just watched Viper make it. The bartender chuckled and just gestured for him to give it a try.

Frankie took a deep breath and gulped down a drink. A little foam was stuck to his mustache when he lowered the glass from his face. “Not bad. What is it?” Frankie asked.

“Snakebite. Kind of a staple around here,” Viper hummed, cleaning a different glass.

Frankie chuckled at the name. Of course that’s what it was called. 

Viper was pulled away when a pretty girl with big, teased hair and dark makeup came up to the bar. Frankie took the opportunity to look around the place again.

The music was best described as “dark” and “broody”, unsurprisingly, with slow tempos and even lower vocals. Everyone on the dancefloor was slowly swaying back and forth and, once in a while, would move their arms in ethereal shapes. 

Frankie remembered seeing one of the younger teachers at Marisol’s daycare wearing a t-shirt with a band logo that looked like a bundle of sticks. He tried figuring out what it said once, but was too afraid to ask, so he still doesn’t know. He doesn’t think she’d be at this kind of club.

“You’re new. Bit like a zoo your first time here, I bet.”

Frankie startled, putting his hand over his heart and turned to look at who was talking. Someone had sat next to him and was grinning, taking a sip from their own drink; something dark red and a little cloudy. He blinked a couple times and took in their features; big green eyes rimmed with dark lines, two different nose piercings, and black lipstick. Their hair was long and straight, dark, and with the right side in front of their ear shaved completely. He couldn’t quite figure out if who he was talking to was male or female, the androgyny of their look very clear.

“Uhh, hello?” They waved their hand, full of rings and black nail polish, in front of his face and chuckled quietly. “Oh! Maybe–” They cut themselves off and started making a bunch of symbols and shapes with their fingers and hands.

Frankie blinked and started laughing softly. “I’m not deaf! Sorry,” he grinned. “You just startled me, that's all.”

“Oh!” The stranger laughed, too, putting a hand on his right knee in a friendly gesture. He looked down at the hand and smiled, his heart skipping a beat. Even if he didn’t know very much about them, he couldn’t deny it; they were very pretty.

He removed his cap and ran his fingers through the unruly curls for a second before putting the hat back on. “Sorry,” he repeated, shaking his head slightly. “Yeah, it’s my first time here. I didn’t realize the club had changed owners.”

“It did?” They asked, tilting their head to the left slightly. 

“Yeah, it was a– Uh, last time I was here, it was a… different kind of club,” Frankie mumbled. 

The stranger’s eyes twinkled mischievously, the smirk still present on their lips. “What kind of club? Are you secretly into some really heavy BDSM type stuff?” They wiggled their eyebrows.

Frankie had started taking a drink of his Snakebite again and nearly choked on it at the stranger’s teasing. He coughed a couple times, a wide grin on his face. “No! Nothing like that,” he chuckled.

The stranger snapped their ring-clad fingers like they were hoping he’d say otherwise and slumped their shoulders in disappointment. “Damn…”

Frankie’s cheeks warmed at the insinuation, but laughed, convinced they were just joking with him. He cleared his throat and continued, “Y-Yeah, uh, I wasn’t expecting this kind of… group, when I came by. Although, the name of the place probably should’ve warned me.”

“What kind of group?” The stranger grinned, watching his handsome features change from thoughtful to concerned.

Frankie panicked, worried he’d somehow offended them, and cleared his throat again. “N-Not that there’s anything wrong with– Um! I don’t, actually… know,” he tapered off, looking down as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

The stranger snorted and waved him off. “I’m fucking with you,” they laughed. “I know what you mean. When I heard a new club opened up closer to my apartment, I got pretty excited. No more hour-long drives to the nearest one, y’know?”

Frankie nodded, their low, smooth voice captivating him the longer they spoke.

“Oh! Meant to say this before, but my name’s River,” they smiled and held their hand out to him to shake.

“Frankie,” he answered, holding his own hand out to return the gesture. But River beat him to it, and gripped his long, thick fingers in their own hand and kissed the back of his softly.

Frankie blushed like mad, eyes widening slightly. No one had ever kissed his hand before. He kept his eyes downcast, his hand still securely in River’s grasp.

River tilted their head, brows furrowed in concern before letting go of his hand. “Sorry, was that–?”

“No! N-No, um…” Frankie smiled shyly, tugging at a loose curl behind his ear. “It was fine– Nice, actually.”

River grinned as if they had clocked him immediately. “Well, Frankie, it was very nice meeting you. Will I see you here again?” They asked, looking him up and down.

Frankie found himself nodding before he could say or do anything else. “Y-Yeah, absolutely. Um, how–?”

“My song just came on, and I simply must dance to it. Later,” River winked, stood, and leaned over to kiss Frankie’s cheek as they slipped something into the front pocket of his flannel shirt.

River was gone before Frankie could ask anything else, his eyes following after them as they reached the dancefloor. He watched them dance for a few minutes before he was brought out of it by someone clearing their throat behind him. He spun around and saw Viper, the bartender, leaning toward him and giving him a look.

“You gonna pay for these drinks?” He grumbled, motioning toward Frankie’s Snakebite and whatever River was drinking.

He followed Viper’s tattooed finger and cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Sorry,” he mumbled, pulling his wallet out and putting a couple bills on the bar. Viper nodded in thanks and Frankie took that as his cue to leave.

As he stood, he looked toward the dancefloor again in the hopes of seeing River one last time. When he didn’t, he tried to shake himself off and made his way toward the entrance. The bouncer gave him a look and Frankie just shrugged as he exited the club. The cool night air hit his still-warm cheeks, making him feel like he came back to reality. 

“Oh, right,” he mumbled to himself and reached into his front pocket and pulled out a little scrap of paper. A phone number with two cute little devil horns drawn on either side and a little, ‘text me?’ written down beneath it.

Frankie smiled to himself and rubbed the ink on the paper with his thumb.

[sitp-recs]

Teddy Lupin Appreciation Reclist

I hope everyone’s already read my gorgeous gift Wield Me by @tackytigerfic because that fic finally inspired me to finish and post this rec list! I’ve been a big Teddy fan since his name came up in the books; thanks to @lqtraintracks I was lucky to get introduced to and fall in love with Harry/Teddy many years ago. Sometimes it’s hard to read them together with other ships because just like Peter Parker, Teddy holds a very special place in my heart and I just want him to be happy and loved 🥹 so to celebrate my long-standing love for this character - which was boosted a hundred times by Tacky’s gift, I thought I’d share my favorite Teddys - both in romantic and platonic relationships - in fic. btw if anyone wants to start a Teddy centric fest let me know!

🏍️ Coming Up for Air by @lqtraintracks (Hardy, M, 2k)

I could have died of it, your tenderness toward me. Instead I decided to live.

🍑 Five Years Since Bimbleswats by tryslora (Tedrarry, E, 4k)

It’s been five years since Bimbleswats, and Draco thinks that is definitely something worth celebrating.

💦 Waiting Under Vain by supergrover24 (Hardy, E, 5k)

Teddy wants to know how sex really should be. Harry can't resist, no matter how much he tries.

🥩 The Lies We Live With by @bixgirl1 (Jeddy, E, 5k)

It doesn’t really count… is almost always followed by a lie, James learns, growing up.

🎨 Surface Texture by @the-starryknight (Hardy, E, 5k)

I've drawn a hundred portraits, but none quite like Harry's. In the early hours of the morning, I lay him bare in charcoal and paper.

👠 When It Alteration Finds by @lqtraintracks (Hardy, E, 7k)

Teddy thinks this is the way to finally get what he wants. But there is more than one way to Harry's heart.

🧁 Holding Out for A Hero by @writcraft (Hardy, E, 7k)

Even as he says no, Harry’s hands push into Teddy’s hair. Even as he protests, his lips connect with Teddy’s. Before Teddy can offer any reassurance his heart’s thumping wildly in his chest and Harry Potter’s kissing him as if there’s no tomorrow.

🐉 On the Same Side by rillalicious (Teddy/Charlie, M, 7.5k)

Teddy is heading to Romania to protest a proposed anti-dragon law. He finds an interesting ally there.

🧅 Shut Up and Kiss Me by @unmistakablyoatmeal (Hardy, E, 8k)

There's a reason Harry walks an extra ten blocks to go to the shops and it has nothing to do with onions. AU.

🪞 Portrait of a Young Girl by @thusspoketrish (Drarry, M, 8.6k)

Recently married, Harry and Draco are tasked with raising a four-year old Teddy, whose emerging gender identity brings up an array of questions, fears, and revelations for them when they realise that Teddy might be transgender.

⚔️ Wield Me by @tackytigerfic (Drarry + hints at Tedrarry, E, 10k)

Draco Malfoy, blacksmith, is renowned through the magical world for his skill and exquisite creations. He could quite easily spend the rest of his days making pretty trinkets for the fae court, and being handsomely rewarded for the privilege. But why take the easy route when instead he could get involved in a dangerous mission with Unspeakable Harry Potter (who also happens to be Draco's... well, he's something, isn't he?). A little story about learning to strike while the iron is hot.

🦆 Hallo Spaceboy by @shiftylinguini (Jeddy, T, 10k)

Or: James kissed Teddy last night. This may or may not be the end of the world.

🧹 Overexposed by @nv-md (Tedrarry, E, 10k)

Teddy never expected to become a model for Nimbus, and he definitely didn't expect any of the adverts to catch Harry and Draco's attention. But now that it's happened, Teddy can't deny he gets a thrill every time he catches Harry and Draco staring, and he's going to do everything he can to keep their eyes on him.

🎸 like the lost lyrics of a song suddenly remembered by @lqtraintracks (Teddy/Bill + Jeddy, E, 11k)

Teddy Lupin, aging rockstar, is making a comeback after his life and career were nearly ruined by an illegal potions habit. Everyone's out to support him tonight. Including the man he's always tried so hard not to love -- as well as the man he's always turned to instead.

⛺️ Good Intent by @maesterchill (Jeddy + past Hardy, E, 12k)

It all starts on the camping trip when James gets his dick out in the tent.

🎾 Game, Set, Match by @writcraft (Hardy, E, 13k)

Teddy is smitten, Harry is lonely and tennis seems like a great way to avoid dealing with this thing between them.

🤝 Team Players by @shiftylinguini (Jeddy + James/Oliver, E, 15k)

Everyone has that one celebrity they’d move heaven and earth to get between their legs, and James Potter is no exception. He just never anticipated that number one on his Freebie List would end up in the same room as him, let alone would make the first move. But lucky for James, Teddy is a team player―well, he probably is, especially with what James is suggesting.

🍨 The Strongest Affinity by eidheann (Drarry, T, 17k)

Trouble finding a wand for Scorpius leads Harry and Draco to something they never imagined.

🦋 Meet Me at Midnight by @the-starryknight (Drarry, T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse. That is, until he stumbles upon the surreal and beautiful world of a mysterious fae creature…

🌳 By the Grace by lettered (Drarry, T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

[thruheavenandhighwater]

Pairing: Eddie Munson/ Reader

Requested By: NA

Word Count: 6,676

Summary: When Corroded Coffin finally starts to make a name for themselves, you couldn't be more proud. Your boyfriend and his best friends dreams are coming true. But that doesn't stop the ache in your chest when he has to leave for weeks to go on tour.

Stranger Things Masterlist

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Based loosely on the song Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait. I also haven't posted anything in a few weeks since I've gotten to be super critical of my own work so please be nice to me.

~~~~~

You knew this day was going to come eventually. Corroded Coffin had been slowly gaining traction for the past few years. You weren't sure when or how it happened, really. All you knew was that all of the sudden a few more people than normal started showing up to The Hideout on Tuesday nights. After a few months of steadily growing crowds management moved them to Thursdays. When they did even better on Thursdays, they were moved to Saturday nights. The "big leagues" as Eddie called their new slot.

And those boys kicked ass every single week. You loved watching them on stage. The way they controlled the crowd, pouring every ounce of themselves into their sets. They were magical to watch.

Then, eight months ago they'd been offered a contract by a small label out of Chicago. An honest to God record contract. You'd been so proud of Eddie when he told you. He was sweaty, having just gotten off stage but you hugged him tightly and kissed him deeply, hoping these would convey how you felt after words didn't seem to be enough.

You were proud of all of them. Your boys. After spending years being the only person who actually showed up to watch them, it was nice to see more people coming back week after week. You'd even started selling t-shirts for them at the back of the small dive bar after Andy had floated the idea.

Two weeks later Corroded Coffin was in a studio in Indianapolis recording their first EP. "Baby, I wish you were here," Eddie sighed into the phone when he'd called you from the hotel his first night away. "God, I miss you. And Bill snores like a goddamn chainsaw."

"You'll be back the day after tomorrow," you reminded him.

"I could just come home tonight. I can't sleep without you."

"You got gas money for all that driving?"

"No," he whined. You heard fabric rustling on the other end as he rolled over in his bed. "But… I just-"

"I miss you, too." You whispered, not trusting your voice not to break if you spoke louder. "The bed feels too big."

He laughed quietly, but it sounded forced. Faked for your benefit. "I definitely don't have that problem. Cheap fuckers only got us one room and Paul is an even worse bed hog than you, if you can believe it."

"He better not be a better cuddler," you giggled. "I'll beat his scrawny ass."

"Now, now, sweetheart, I can't have you threatening my bassist before he records his parts." You could hear the smile in his voice. "Even if he does play with my hair and call me snookums."

"Shut the fuck up, Munson!" You heard Paul on the other end. Eddie's laugh filled your ears. You felt your chest tighten at the familiar sound. You really did miss him more than you thought you would.

"Oh, come on, pookie," Eddie teased. "Don't get shy on me now just 'cause I got your competition on the phone."

"They can have you." Paul grumbled. "And newsflash, Romeo, some of us are trying to sleep."

The line was quiet for a moment, all of the joking suddenly gone. "I'm sorry, babe," Eddie sighed.

"No, he's right." You told him as a bubble of emotion grew painfully in your chest. "Get some sleep, rockstar."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I'll call tomorrow?" He asked almost expectantly.

"I'll be waiting." You answered, already wishing it was tomorrow. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

And suddenly the line was dead. The click followed by the loud dial tone almost enough to shatter you entirely. You ended up sleeping on the couch both nights Eddie was gone. The bed was too big for just you, after all.

But the most exciting news had come just after the winter snow started to melt. It was still cold, but the occasional 35° day felt like a gift from the heavens when they happened. You were bundled up on the couch, a blanket that Uncle Wayne had gifted you for Christmas a few months before wrapped tightly around your shoulders when Eddie burst in the front door like a raging bull.

"Baby!" He squealed excitedly as he closed the door behind him. "It's happening! It's really fuckin' happening!"

"Jesus Christ!" You yelled, your hand flying to your chest as your heart threatened to beat clean through the skin. "What is happening?"

"We're goin' on tour!" He yelled, clapping his hands. "We're gonna be, like, a real fuckin' band now."

"Eddie!" You cried out as you stood from the couch, the blanket dropping lazily behind you. You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss as his hands wrapped around your waist. "I'm so fucking proud of you, baby." You told him before kissing him again. "My little rockstar."

You'd spend the next ten weeks excitedly helping Eddie and the guys prepare for tour. It was a short stint, just a few weeks as an opener on the Midwest leg of some bands world tour. But they were over the moon about the opportunity to be on a real stage. And you couldn't have been happier for them. This was their dream finally coming true right in front of your eyes.

And since it was their dream you never even thought to tell Eddie how badly you didn't want him to go. You didn't want him to be gone for 19 days and 18 nights. It was selfish and you knew that. That's why you kept your mouth shut, encouraging them and helping Eddie decide which shirts to take instead.

Now, it was just two days before he'd be leaving. The record label had rented a van for the band. It was small, but it got the job done. It had been decided that each person could only bring one bag, otherwise there would be no space for their equipment. Eddie had borrowed an old, beat up leather bag from his uncle and you were currently pulling all of his freshly washed laundry from the dryer. You folded each of his shirts as you pulled them from the dryer.

They were still warm as you held each of them in your hands. Each one carried a memory with it. The Iron Maiden shirt he'd worn on your first real date. The Metallica shirt you'd gotten him for his birthday two years ago. The KISS shirt that he had lent you to wear to bed the first night you stayed at his house, when he was still living with his uncle.

Sharp tears pricked painfully at your eyes as you held a Dio shirt to your chest. You took a deep breath to compose yourself. You didn't need to be getting tears all over his clothes. But you couldn't help it. He was going to be gone and you'd miss him. The two nights you'd had to spend on the couch were bad, but this was going to be so much worse.

"Got some new socks," Eddie suddenly called from your living room. You hadn't even heard the door open, too wrapped up in your emotions. As quickly and quietly as possible you sniffled and wiped your eyes with your hands to hide the fact that you'd been crying.

But Eddie knew you. After this many years together, it shouldn't surprise you. As soon as he rounded the corner and saw you standing in front of the dryer, he knew. He stepped towards you, setting the pack of white socks on top of the dryer behind you as he pulled you to his chest. One arm wrapped around you while he cradled your head in his other hand.

"Sshhh, baby," he cooed. His hand began to gently rub your back as he held you. You wrapped your arms around him, balling your hands into fists at the back of his shirt. "It's gonna be okay. I'm not leavin' forever."

"Long enough." You whimpered into his chest.

"I know, sweetheart." He whispered before planting a kiss on your hair. "I'm sorry."

Your heart fell to your knees. He shouldn't be sorry. You knew this was his dream when you met him. You knew it the first time you'd watched him play. This band was too good to stay in Hawkins forever. And you knew that.

"Oh, man," you said with a smile as you pulled away. "Who knew I was such a crybaby, huh?" You pulled your arms from around his torso and wiped your eyes.

"Dude, I cried in the car in front of Melvalds!" A laugh fell from your lips before you could stop fresh tears from falling. "This is gonna suck, huh?" He asked, his palm meeting your tear stained cheek.

"Sure is," you agree with a forced smile.

By the time Eddie had finished packing a few hours later, the brown leather bag sat barely half full on your bed. "So you do have room for more than one pair of jeans!" You said as you picked up a faded pair of Wranglers from the laundry basket.

"I don't need anymore jeans!" He whined from where he was leaning against your dresser.

"You only packed one pair."

"Plus the ones I'll be wearing when we leave!"

"That's gross." You told him flatly as you finished folding the jeans and tucked them into the bag.

"I'm sure we'll be able to wash our clothes," he smiled. "That's just taking up extra space."

"You better!" You said, turning to face him. "If you bring this thing home smelling like dirty balls and van nachos I'm gonna throw all of it away."

"You'd never," he teased, fake hurt written across his smiling face.

"Try me," you told him, crossing your arms over your chest.

And now you stood in you front lawn, barely holding back tears while Eddie loaded his guitar case into the back of the van. The old, beat up bag felt like a boulder as you gripped the frayed handle in both hands. He was downright giddy as he slid the sleek black case into place. You wanted to be excited for him, you really did. But all you could think about was how much you'd miss him.

"Oh, honey," he whispered as he pulled the bag from your hands, handing it off to Bill to put into the van. "C'mere, sweet thing."

He pulled you to his chest. It was almost too tight, but you didn't care. You wanted to be as close to him as possible before he was three states away. It surprised both of you that you were able to contain your tears while you stood there. You knew the guys were watching you, probably going to make fun of Eddie for being so soft after they pulled away. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was commiting Eddie to memory as fully as possible.

"I'll call tonight?" He whispered into your hair.

"When?"

"Probably after we play," he sighed. "Don't know if I'll have time before."

"Yeah," you sniffled into his shirt.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

He pulled away from you slightly, his arms still around your shoulders as he looked down to you. He kissed you, sweet and hard, like he needed your lips on his to live. And you loved it. Knowing that he hated this moment as much as you did made you feel just a bit less selfish about it. He broke the kiss, smiling at you before his lips were suddenly on your forehead. You heard him inhale deeply through his nose as his hand found the back of your head, pressing his lips even deeper into the kiss.

"Be good," he whispered when his lips left your skin.

"No," you sniffled, smiling at him.

He giggled, high pitched but almost sad as he finally pulled his hands away from you. Shaking his head he took a few small, cautious steps away from you.

"Eddie, dude!" Andy called from the driver side window. "We gotta goooo!" He yelled, drawing out the last word. Eddie rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed that Andy didn't seem to understand how difficult this was for the two of you. He leaned forward, his hand catching your arm as his lips fell to your cheek.

And then he was gone. You waved, plastering a fake grin across your face as you watched the van drive down the street. You already missed him. You finally let your tears fall once you watched the van turn a corner and it finally felt real. He was really gone.

The bed was too big again as you tucked yourself into the blankets. The blankets that smelled like cigarettes and cheap soap. Like Eddie. You grabbed his pillow without thinking, holding it desperately to your chest as you cried silently. He was still in city limits, but your heart missed him like he was on the moon.

When you woke up a few hours later your head hurt and the bed felt cold. You sighed as you placed Eddie's pillow back in its spot next to yours.

You walked into the living room, checking the time on a clock on the wall. Quarter to three. It would be hours before Eddie would be able to call you. You decided to make yourself busy while you waited so that your brain wouldn't eat itself alive with worry.

You suddenly hated how clean you kept the house. By the time you'd done the dishes, folded the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and vacuumed the entire house it was barely 5 o'clock. Still a few more hours until you'd hear from Eddie.

You wrapped a blanket around your shoulders and bunkered down on the couch after putting some mind numbing tv show on. You weren't watching it. You just needed the noise. Something to occupy the part in your brain that wanted to just cry and cry until Eddie was back in your arms.

The sudden, shrill ring of the phone woke you from where you'd started to fall asleep on the couch. You jumped up, the blanket forgotten in your path as you ran to the phone.

"Hello?" You answered eagerly. You held the phone so tightly in your hands that your fingers almost hurt.

"Hey, sweetheart," His voice was angelic in your ears. You almost started crying on the spot, so happy to hear it. You let out a breath you felt like you'd been holding all day. Leaning against the counter, you felt your shoulders relax for the first time since he drove away.

"Hi, baby," you sighed. "How was the show?"

"Fuckin' incredible." He sounded so happy that it made you feel guilty for how badly you wanted him to come home. "There was so many people. Probably more than when we saw Sabbath last summer in Indy. And seeing all those people from the stage was trippy." He laughed.

"I'm so damn proud of you," you told him. And you meant it. Even if you missed him so bad it made your head hurt, you were proud of him.

"Thanks, babe. I can't wait for you to see us up there."

"18 days," you told him, a pang in your chest. "I miss you already."

"Miss you, too." He admitted, his voice quieting. "D'ya see my present?"

"What present?"

"I left it on the dresser!" He told you excitedly. "It's nothing, really, just-" you didn't hear the rest of his sentence. You'd set the phone down and jogged down the hallway to your bedroom. When you reached the dresser you didn't see anything at first. Your perfume, a few lighters, some tapes stacked in the corner. But then you saw it and your heart swelled in your chest. His necklace. His guitar pick necklace.

He'd made it from the pick he used the first night you saw Corroded Coffin play at The Hideout, using a safety pin that he'd heated over the flame of his zippo to poke a hole in the thin plastic. He told you it was special, a good luck charm. He claimed it was this magic little pick that had brought you to the show, and definitely not his incessant nagging for a week prior. He'd never taken it off in all these years. But here it sat on top of your dresser.

You smiled as you walked back to the phone, clasping the simple chain around your neck as you walked. The chain was longer than you'd normally wear, the pick coming to rest in the middle of your chest.

"-ello? Hello? You there?" Eddie sounded worried when you picked up the phone from the counter.

"I'm here," you smiled into the phone, your hand tightly wrapped around the necklace. "But what are you gonna do without your good luck charm?"

He chuckled, a sound you could listen to forever. "Don't you worry, sweetheart. I got something even better."

"What?"

"I'll tell ya when I see ya in Indy."

"18 days," you repeated.

"18 days."

You hung up shortly after that, Eddie saying that Bill was finally out of the shower and he was not gonna miss his turn at the hot water. After hanging up the phone you felt much better than you had all day. Eddie promised to call every night after his set, which put your mind at ease knowing that he never broke a promise. He'd also made dramatic kissy noises into the phone, which pulled a real honest to God laugh from you. Even miles and miles away the boy knew how to cheer you up.

It was five days into his absence when the very bad, super crappy day happened. First, you burned yourself on the coffee pot. Then you couldn't find the one specific shirt you wanted to wear to work. Searching for it made you late to work. The sandwich you'd gotten from the deli for lunch was wrong. And finally, you'd stepped in a mud puddle on your way into your house and one of your white work sneakers was now stained and soaking wet.

You needed Eddie's call that night more than ever. You looked forward to it from the moment you stepped inside from work even though you knew you had a few hours to wait. You just needed to hear his voice. You needed him to call you babe in that way that he does and tell you that he loves you. You just needed him.

The phone rang while you were cleaning up from dinner. You slammed the refrigerator door closed, not even finishing putting the Tupperware bowls in it.

"Eddie?" You asked.

"The one and only," he giggled. You could see the smirk on his face. You missed that smirk.

"Today has been, like, the worst day ever." You sighed.

"What happened?"

And you told him everything. Unloading all of your issues from the day into him while he just listened, occasionally making affirming noises from the other end of the phone. "And now I've got my shoe soaking in the sink hoping it magically turns white again."

"Could always dip the other shoe in the mud puddle." Eddie suggested.

"God, it's a good thing you're pretty, Munson." You laughed. You truly appreciated how easily he could turn your mood around. He was special. Almost magical in his ability to save even the worst days.

"There ya are," he said sweetly. "Missed that laugh today."

"I need a hug," you sighed. "And a drink, but mostly a hug."

"Promise I'll hug ya extra tight in Indy."

"14 days." You said quietly, looking at the calendar that hung in the kitchen. As soon as Eddie found out that the Indianapolis show would be the last one Corroded Coffin would play it was circled in every color pen the two of you could find.

You couldn't help but count the days. You counted hours, really. Hours until Eddie would call. Hours until 2 pm on the 19th. Hours until you could see your favorite person again.

"Two weeks," Eddie said suddenly, pulling your attention. "I can't decide which sounds worse. 14 days or two weeks."

"They both suck," you chuckled.

"You're going to bed soon, yeah?" He asked.

"Gonna shower when we hang up, then try to sleep." You answered. "Same as every night. Why?"

"Because when you go to sleep it'll be basically tomorrow and then it will only be 13 days."

"Ever the optimist," you smiled. You really did appreciate that he was trying to help. It wasn't his fault that you'd had a bad day. But your heart yearned for him, and the fact that he wasn't within arms reach was unbearable.

You talked for a bit longer. Eddie told you all about the night's show, even though it was exactly the same as every other night. But you didn't mind. You'd listen to him read the white pages in pig latin if it meant keeping him in the phone for just a few extra moments.

When you yawned into the phone he suddenly halted his story. "Bed time?" He asked.

"Not yet," you yawned again.

"Sweetheart, you're fallin' asleep on me here," he giggled.

"Not yet," you repeated. "I'm not ready to say goodbye yet." Your voice caught in your throat as tears suddenly threatened to fall.

"Okay, baby," he said. "Not yet."

You insisted that he finish his story. It ended the same as it always did. But you just needed to hear him. Hear his voice. His sighs, his chuckles, his soft whispers. You needed to hear him.

When he ended his story with the same line as always, "It was fuckin' incredible, baby." You begged for another tour story. Any story. But the yawn that interrupted your pleading gave you away.

"You're gonna hate yourself tomorrow if you don't get some sleep," he told you, gently but his voice was serious.

"I'm not ready," you whined.

"I know," he sighed. "How about I call tomorrow morning? Before you go to work?"

"You can do that?" You asked, maybe a bit too loudly.

He laughed and you felt your heart jump. "Course I can. We don't do anything all day until it's time for soundcheck."

"I would love that."

"Then I'll call in the morning. But right now you need sleep."

"Okay," you finally agreed. "I love you."

"I love you, too. More than I could ever say."

There was a pause. It was your turn. He always made you say it first. This had to be your choice.

"Goodnight, Eddie."

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

There was just a moment of silence before you heard the familiar and heartbreaking click. Then the deafening dial tone. And he was gone.

You and Eddie quickly settled into a new routine. Morning phone calls before work, evening phone calls after his show. On the days that you didn't work you kept him on the phone for hours. You didn't even talk sometimes, just hearing him breathing brought a bit of normalcy to your life. It was nice. It was exactly what you needed. The extra calls made the days move by just a little quicker.

It was still agonizing having to sleep in your bed alone. He was insistent that eventually you'd get used to it. He joked that you'd make him sleep on the couch when he got back. But every night he wasn't there felt like an eternity. You even began to miss the way he'd aggressively grab your thighs when you were trying to sleep, tickling you just to annoy you. 11 nights in you decided that you'd never push his hand away again, no matter how much it tickled.

Finally, mercifully, the day came. Today was the day you were going to Indianapolis to see the show. Today was the day you'd get Eddie back.

During your morning phone call both of you were antsy and excited. Your eagerness was almost debilitating, causing you to nearly drop one of your favorite coffee mugs and knock over a stack of tapes in the bedroom as you danced around excitedly. But you didn't care about any of that. Today, instead of counting hours to phone calls, you were counting hours until you were back in his arms.

"God damn, I'm so ready for tonight," His voice was high pitched, almost giddy as you two made your plan for the evening.

You would drive to Indianapolis and he would meet you at the box office. His badge could get you in for free. Once there you'd hang out with him backstage until Corroded Coffin played. You hadn't decided yet if you wanted to stay for the rest of the show or head out immediately to the hotel after their set. "Let's play it by ear," he said.

You'd booked a room at a hotel. You made sure to get a completely different hotel from the one the rest of the band would be staying in. You wanted Eddie all to yourself tonight.

As you drove to the city you couldn't stop smiling. Your cheeks actually started to ache the closer you got. But you didn't mind at all. Aching cheeks was a lot better than an aching heart, or an aching head from crying too hard. This was a pain you could handle. A pain you almost liked, because it meant that all of your waiting was over.

You parked at the venue and all but ran to the box office. True to his word as always Eddie was standing inside the small building talking to the person taking tickets.

"This one's mine," he told the older lady behind the glass. You began to cry as you watched him open the door and walk outside. His arms were spread wide and you wasted no time burying your face into his chest. His familiar scent was intoxicating as you breathed him in deeply.

"I missed you," you said through tears. "I didn't know it was possible to miss someone this much."

His hands held you so tight to his chest that you wondered if it were possible for two people to actually become one. One hand tangled itself into your hair, holding your head in that soft, strong way he does. His other arm wrapped around your shoulders. All you could feel in that moment was Eddie. It was perfect.

He pulled away from you just enough to look down at you. His brown eyes sparkled like gems under the summer sun. His cheeks, sprinkled with dark brown stubble, dimpled as he smiled at you.

"Missed ya, babe," he whispered.

It was so nice to hear his voice again. Sure, you heard him on your phone calls. But this was different. You felt his chest rise and fall as you clung to him. You felt his breath against your hair as he pulled you to him. His lips on your temple, soft and strong. You finally felt whole again.

The two of you stood outside the box office for probably far too long. But you couldn't help it. You'd missed him so much that separating from this embrace for even a moment felt undoable. Eddie didn't seem to mind. He kept his arms around you, running his fingers through your hair while you reacquainted yourself with his presence.

It was only when other cars started showing up in the parking lot that Eddie suggested you go inside. You agreed, squeezing him tightly one last time. His arm stayed around your shoulders, now loosely draping around your neck as he turned to stand beside you. You both smiled at woman in the box office, Eddie flashing his badge as you walked through the turnstile.

"I'm so excited to see you guys play again," you told him as he led you through the front door of the venue.

"The Hideout got nothing on these stages, babe" he laughed. "You gonna be in the crowd or in the wings?"

"Not sure. Which is better?" You asked, reaching up to link your fingers with his that hung over your shoulder.

"Crowd, definitely." He answered. "You can even get right up front and center."

"Finally keeping you around for all these years is paying off." You teased.

He smiled, a chuckle falling from his lips just before his lips touched gently to your temple again. "'Bout damn time I'm good for something, huh?"

When you reached Corroded Coffin's dressing room you were immediately torn from beneath Eddie's arm by Paul.

"God, I'm glad you're here." He said, pulling you into a hug. "Your boyfriend's fuckin' annoying. How do you sleep in the same bed with him every night? You deserve a fuckin' medal."

"Right!?" You said dramatically, grabbing his shoulders as you pulled away from him just a bit. "Did he make you be the big spoon too?"

"No," Eddie laughed behind you. "I let Paul be the big spoon. He practically begged me."

"Can you take him home now?" Paul asked with a smile. "We really don't even need him for the show."

You laughed as you turned back to Eddie. He was trying to force a dramatic pout to his lips, but he just couldn't do it. His lips curled high onto his cheeks with a bright smile.

Bill and Andy greeted you with hugs, too. You missed all of them more than you had realized. It felt so right to be in a tiny dressing room with the guys.

You spent the next few hours on Eddie's lap on one of the faded black couches in the back room. Even though you'd heard all of their stories already you loved hearing them again. They were all so excited to tell you everything. You suspected that they had missed you just as much as you missed them.

A few minutes before the doors opened for the show you and Eddie made your exit from the group. He led you through hallways to a metal door and pushed it open. Suddenly it was just you and him in the middle of the large room. You walked hand in hand to the front center of the barricade. Eddie's hands held both of yours, his thumbs rubbing the backs of your hands softly.

"Ready to get your face rocked off?" He asked.

"Oh, hell yeah," you answered, pulling one hand from his. You tucked your ring and middle fingers under your thumb, leaving your pointer finger and pinky extended. Sticking your tongue out, baring your teeth, you brought your hand to your face.

"Goddamn it, you're so fucking cute." He gushed, bringing both his hands to your cheeks. Just as his lips crashed to yours you heard the loud noise of the venue doors opening. People started to file in, excitedly talking amongst themselves as they walked toward you. Eddie sighed before kissing your forehead softly. "I'm gonna have security pull you after our set, yeah?" He asked. You nodded silently, smiling to him before he removed his hands from your face and turned to walk away.

The guys were amazing. Eddie was right when he said that the shows you'd seen at The Hideout were nothing compared to this. They had actual lighting and a much better sound system than The Hideout could ever even hope to have. And the extra bodies in the crowd seemed to spur the band on, even if they weren't necessarily there to see them.

At more than one point in the show you caught each of the members watching you in the crowd. You were the only person that was screaming their lyrics back to them, so you were easy to find. Eddie had his big solo during the second to last song of the set. He always shined during his solo, but he was on fire tonight. As he hit the high final note of his solo he stretched his guitar out over the crowd, pulling a loud round of applause from you and everyone around you. He didn't seem to notice, his eyes firmly on you as he grinned down to you. Before he walked back to his microphone to the left of the stage he threw one hand up, two fingers extended and his tongue out just like you'd done earlier. You laughed, throwing your head back and bringing your hands to your chest.

Their set ended and the four men gathered at the front of the stage. They all took a quick bow, Andy raising his drumsticks in the air before they left stage in a single file. Eddie pointed at you and winked as he followed Bill across the stage.

A few moments later a large, tattooed security guard was walking toward you. When he reached you you leaned over the barricade, his lips just inches from your ear. He said your name, his voice lifting at the end in question. When you nodded he put his hands out to you. His hands went under your armpits while you braced yourself by placing your hands over his shoulders. You were impressed with how easily he lifted you over the barricade. Once you were on the other side he put his hand on your back, between your shoulder blades as he walked you towards the door you'd come through earlier.

Eddie was waiting on the other side, his million watt smile pasted to his face. As the door closed behind you he wrapped his arms around your thighs and lifted you off the ground. You wrapped your legs around his hips, your hands holding tightly to his shoulders as he spun the two of you in a circle.

You kissed him deeply as he held you. Your back hit a wall suddenly as Eddie kissed you back. "What'd ya think?" He asked breathlessly when he broke the kiss.

"You're a rockstar, baby." You beamed. "I'm so fucking proud of you." He kissed you once more before releasing his grip on your thighs, allowing your feet to hit the floor. "Can we leave? Or you gotta stay the whole time?"

"We can leave," he answered as he linked his fingers with yours. "Gotta help pack up first."

As soon as the heavy back door of the venue closed behind you Eddie pulled his cigarettes from the front pocket of his jeans. You watched as he placed one between his pillowy lips and lit it. He allowed the lit cigarette to dangle from his lips as he bent over to help Bill lift an amp into the back of the van.

It didn't take long for the guys to load up all their gear. Clearly the weeks of practice had paid off. Eddie left his heavy black guitar case propped against the side of the van, insisting he take it with him rather than trust his best friends with it. Once everything was loaded up he bid farewell to the guys as he grabbed the guitar case and his uncle's old leather bag.

"Ready?" He asked. There was no need for the question and he knew that, as he didn't even wait for your answer before leading you away from the rest of his band.

"Born ready, my love." You answered, falling into step beside him.

When you checked in at the hotel Eddie demanded he take a shower before he would touch you. "Trust me, this is for your benefit, sweetheart." He giggled as he closed the bathroom door behind him.

His leather bag was set next to the door. It was half zipped from where he'd sloppily pulled out a clean pair of boxers and a pair of black sweatpants. You barely glanced at it, not really paying it any mind. Until a flash of bright color caught your eye against the black of his clothes.

You stood from the bed and picked up the bag, placing it on a table. You slowly unzipped the bag. Your eyes grew wide as the item that had caught your eye came into view. It was your shirt. The shirt from the very bad super crappy day that you'd torn your house apart trying to find.

You pulled the shirt free from the bag. The bright, colorful stripes that ran across the chest so familiar. You had so many questions running through your mind as you held it. You heard the running water cut off, followed shortly by the bathroom door opening behind you.

"Feels good to be clean," Eddie giggled as you turned on your heels to face him. You still held the shirt in both hands, your eyebrows furrowed. Your lips parted to speak, but you lost your words. You didn't even know where to start.

Eddie's face bore the same look it had the night the two of you had gotten caught getting high at Starcourt when you were in highschool. He reached one hand toward you, his mouth opening as if to offer an explanation. Instead he simply shrugged as a sheepish smile came across his lips.

"Why do you have my shirt?" You finally asked.

"I took it." He answered plainly.

"You took it?"

"Yeah," he shrugged again. He took a few steps away from the bathroom, steam following him as he walked to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I've been looking for this for two weeks!" You cried as you shook the shirt in his direction.

"I didn't know that was the shirt!" He defended.

"Why'd you take it!" You weren't mad, though the volume of your voice might suggest otherwise. "This is one of my favorite shirts, Eddie!"

"That's why I took it!"

You sighed. Your hand that held your shirt fell to your side while the other ran through your hair. "You took my favorite shirt… Because it's my favorite shirt?" You asked as you pinched the bridge of your nose. "That doesn't make sense."

You opened your eyes to look at him when a chuckle fell from his smiling lips. "Made sense in the moment, babe," he said. "I just wanted to have a piece of you with me. I had it on my amp on stage every night. It's my new good luck charm."

Your demeanor softed at his confession. You knew that he'd missed you, but only now were you beginning to understand how much. You sat down beside him on the bed and reached one hand up to cup his cheek in your palm. His persona of confidence and control melted away as you slowly moved your hand to rake your fingernails through the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Missed you, rockstar," you whispered.

Eddie closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. "You have no idea how much I missed you," he mumbled. You gently pulled him towards you, your lips touching his softly. The kiss was sweet, but needy as he opened his mouth, his tongue trailing your bottom lip lightly.

You moved to lie on your back, Eddie following to hover above you. His lips never left yours while he held his weight on his forearms on either side of your head.

"So glad you're here, babe," he mumbled into your neck before he began peppering wet, desperate open mouthed kisses to your jaw and neck.

"Me, too," you sighed. "Wish we were home, though."

He pulled away from you, lusty smirk on his lips. "There's no fuckin' way I can wait till tomorrow." He growled.

"Do you have any idea how many people have probably done it in this bed?" You asked with a giggle.

"Oh, no, sweetheart," he breathed, bring his lips to the curve of your ear. "I promise you this bed has never seen anything like this." You shivered beneath him as his hot breath fanned over your skin.

"Promise?"

You felt his smile against the goosebumps on your neck. His teeth grazed lightly against your collar bone.

"Promise," he answered, his voice muffled against your skin. "Gonna show ya how much I've missed you, darling."

~~~~~

I wrote this in August and have been sitting on it since. Idk if it's good or not, as I'm not a god judge. Like I said, I've become extremely critical of my own work over the last year. Either way, I hope you all enjoyed this!! I know I had fun writing this last year 🥰 Feedback is always appreciated!!

[justagamerandaweeb]

True Love - Kyojuro x Reader

18+ MDNI

Kyojuro gently cups your cheeks with his hands and gently kisses you. "Mmm..."

He softly smooches you as he strokes the back of your head and he deepens the kiss.

He slowly pushes you down to the ground with him and stops kissing you to see your blushing face.

"You have no idea... How long I've been wanting to do this with you..." He pecks your lips.

"I feel the same way... Kyojuro..." You said as you touched his exposed chest. "You feel so strong..."

"And you look so beautiful..." He says whiles caressing your cheek with his thumb.

You blushed redder than the ends of his hair and he giggles.

He then leaned down to your face and kisses your lips again.

You closed your eyes and put your hand on the back of his head as you melted into the kiss.

You both opened your mouths and frenched kissed each other, making your tongues dance with each other.

"Mmm..." You both moaned sending vibrations throughout your mouths.

He stops kissing you and says, "You really wanna do this, (Y/N)? We can do this another time if you are not comfortable."

You shook your head to his request cause you've been wanting to do this for a long time with him. "No. I want to." He lightly chuckles from the way you said no. You were nervous but confident at the same time.

"Then let us continue, my flame. Is it okay if I undress you?" He says as he grabs the tie of the obi. He looks at you for consent and you nodded. He then unites the obi and takes off the kimono, revealing your body in front of him.

"H-how do I look Kyojuro?"

He sits there with a light blush on his face while his eyes analyze your body.

"Kyojuro?"

"You are so beautiful."

"T-thank you."

"No. I mean truly beautiful. More beautiful than anything in this entire world." He leans in and pecks your lips. "And you should know that, my flame."

He then starts kissing out of pure love as he closes his eyes and strokes your cheek. You locked your arms around his neck.

"You deserve... The entire... World..." He said in between kisses as he leans deeper to kiss you, resulting in both of you falling on the floor.

You looked at each other and giggled as Kyojuro reach out his hand and head pats you. "Sorry. Was that too much?"

"No. It wasn't. I just lost my balance and fell. You're a really good kisser."

His smile grows larger as a thank you for the compliment. "You really think so? Even as a virgin?"

Your eyes widen when you heard Kyojuro was a virgin. From the way he was kissing you and the way he acted while doing this, you thought he had done this before.

"You're a virgin?"

"Why yes, I am. I have never looked at anyone special in the past. Because since I became a Demon Slayer, I thought it would be pointless to be in a relationship with someone." He then scoots up close to your face and cups your cheek. "But then I met you. You made me realize that none of that mattered. That I could still find love, even as a Demon Slayer. And I couldn't thank you enough, my flame." And he hugs you.

You then hugged him back and started getting teary-eyed, not from sadness, but joy. You were so happy that Kyojuro had feelings for you. It felt like it was too good to be true.

Your breath started to shake as you tried to refrain from crying but inevitably failed so you held him tighter so you wouldn't let him see you like this. Kyojuro notices your shaky breathing and says, "Are you okay?"

"M-mmm-h-hmm..." You then let out a shaky inhale making Kyojuro more concerned about you. He then stops hugging you to get a look at you only to see tears rolling down your face.

"Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong!? If so, let me know and ill try to rephrase it! You see... I'm not really good at this relationship thing, and all I want is to make you smile." He says as he grabs your hand and softly squeezes it.

You sniffle as you were trying to steady your breathing to respond to him. "I a-am smiling..."

"Oh, you are? Thank the gods! I thought I said something that made you really upset, but I'm really glad that isn't the case in this situation." And he laughs and you sort of chuckled with him.

He then grabs your chin and slowly leans in to kiss him. The way he kissed you felt so intimate. Like a true bond finally coming together after so long. He then hugs you while kissing you trying to make the kiss more tender and closer than before.

He stops kissing you when a line of saliva came apart from your mouths. "You ready to do this?" Your heart started to faster than before. This was the final stretch, but you were so nervous. So you deeply inhaled and slowly exhaled before saying, "Yes."

He then pecks your lips before taking the other half of his kimono off before showing a big tent in his fundoshi. He grabs the rims of the piece of cloth and pulls it down to reveal his big and thick shaft. He looked like to be 8 inches along with a 6-inch girth.

Your eyes slightly widen at how big he was. It made you a little scared to figure out how it would fully fit inside you. "It's so big..."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"N-no, it isn't. I'm just surprised no woman tried to be with you with this type of size. M-may I... Touch It?"

He then grabs your wrist and puts it on his throbbing shaft. It felt so weird when you first touched it, but you got used to it. It felt so hot in hand to think this was a regular body part for men.

"Your hands... Are so soft around me... I'm not complaining though..." He then reaches down your nethers and starts touching your folds.

You flinched but moaned at the same time when you felt his fingers touching you down there. But it felt good for some reason. "Kyojuro..."

He then looks at you and starts kissing your lips. He uses his other hand to stroke your head as he fingers you with the other. But that soon stopped when he gets on top of you. "I can't wait anymore. I want you so bad. Is it okay with you? I don't want it to feel forced on you and I want you to f-mmph!"

You interrupted him when you kissed his lips and caressed his cheek. You stopped kissing him to see he has a blush on his face. "I'll take that as a yes, my flame. Then, let's lose our virginity together. And one that we will never forget." And kisses you one last time.

He then grabs his shaft and lines up to your entrance and started to slowly push inside you. You started to whimper grom how big he was. He tries to reassure you by praising you for how well you are taking him.

Your hips finally came in contact with each other and he strokes your hair. "Are you okay, my flame?" You nodded since you were feeling both pain and pleasure since his shaft was filling you.

Kyojuro felt something running down his shaft. So he looks down to see blood mixed with your juices. "Your bleeding..." You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him towards you. "It's because you took my first. You claimed me. And I feel so happy. Happy that my first time was with you."

Kyojuro then changes his face from worry, to relieved and happy. "I'm glad you feel happy, (Y/N). Is it okay if I can move?"

"Just give me a minute. It still hurts."

"Oh, darling take all the time you need. Besides, I want to savor this moment with you." He then hugs you and kisses your cheeks.

"Y'know you feel really hot around me, right? It feels really good. I had no idea that a female's private part would feel so good and tight."

"It's because you feel so big inside me. Of course ill tighten around you from your size."

You kissed his lips. "You can move now, Kyojuro."

"Okay. If you ever feel pain, don't be afraid to tell me okay?" He holds your hand. "I want this to be the best for you." And slowly thrust into you.

You quietly moaned as you felt his shaft slowly rubbing against your walls every time he fills you back up.

"Unh..."

"Does it feel good?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Good. But I'm still gonna go slow until you tell me to."

"P-please do."

His eyebrow raises when he heard you to tell him to go faster. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

He then nods and started to raise his pace from thrusting you. Making you moan a little bit louder than before.

"Kyojuro..." You said as you gently squeezed his hand. It felt so good feeling Kyojuro separate your walls every time he pushes himself back inside you.

"You feel... So tight..." He moans as he thrusts into you feeling your hot, and tight walls wrapping around his cock.

He looks down to see the faint blood was completely gone and just your juices were covering his cock. He then wraps his arms around your hips and started to thrust more faster.

"Ahh! Kyojuro!"

Your sudden outburst causes Kyojuro to stop. Scared that he might have hurt you. "Sorry, it feels so good to me. Do you want me to stop?"

"N-no! Keep going!"

He resumes thrusting into you. This time more faster than before. Making you moan louder and making your back arch.

"F-fuck..."

That was the first time you heard Kyojuro swear. And to be honest with yourself, you kinda liked it. He starts kissing your sensitive skin as he thrust into you. You touched his hair to realize how fluffy it was. It was really fluffy, like a bowl of white rice.

"Kyojuro's hair, it's so soft..." But that stopped when he lifted his head up and kissed your lips as his hips came in contact with yours repeatedly.

You then his cock throbbing meaning that he was close. He stops kissing you to see the locks of his hair stuck on his sweaty forehead. "(Y/N), I can't hold it in anymore. Where Do you want me to..." You cupped his cheek and said, "Wherever you want to."

So uses all of his energy pounding into you before pulling out and cumming on your stomach with 5 spurts of cum coming out of his shaft.

He then grabs a piece of cloth and wipes it on your stomach to clean the cum off. He then throws the piece of cloth off somewhere before laying down next to you. But before he does, he asks, "Wait, (Y/N), did you finish?"

You shook your head no to his question.

"Then we are not done."

You raised an eyebrow wondering what he was talking about until he goes down your nether region. He then starts to lick your folds.

You sharply inhaled and moaned to him licking your nether with his tongue. He then goes nose deep and puts his entire mouth inside you, practically eating you out.

Your head rolled back as you held his head in place to your nether. Your legs started shaking when you felt him slurping your juices.

You then started to feel a knot forming in your stomach as you felt yourself getting closer.

"I'm... I'm gonna!" You quietly shouted out before Kyojuro licks your clit and puts his index and middle finger inside your nether and that immediately put you on the edge.

You sprayed your juices all over his fingers and chin but he still continued to finger you and lick your clit until you stopped cumming.

You were twitching from how much pleasure you were feeling after you came. Your nether was pulsating from the imprint of his shaft.

He licks the remains of your juices on his fingers and says, "Tasty..."

He then finally decides to lay down next to you and you put your head on his chest. "T-thank you..." You slowly wrapped around his back, hugging him.

He caresses your back and says, "Anytime."

He sighs as he caresses your back. "Y'know, I've been thinking about retiring. Like leaving the Demon Slayer Corps to have ordinary lives and to start a family together. We could have a happy life without any suffering whatsoever. We can leave all that stuff behind and start all over. Wouldnt you like that, my flame?" But all he would hear was your soft snoring.

He then opens his mouth to say something but he stops himself and smiles. "I guess I can tell you another time, my flame." And goes to sleep. Promising himself to say the same thing someday.

[messengerhermes]

Hey, since it's trans visibility week here's a reminder: your body belongs to you.

As a trans person that's been out for twelve years, and who has been considering HRT seriously for the last two now, I've noticed a pattern that happens on terms of how people, even supportive people engage with me around my gender.

People get uncomfortable when I assert my right to change my body in ways they don't find appealing.

This happens particularly with family members and partners, but I've also had strangers on the street and coworkers occasionally make comments.

When I first stopped waxing and shaving, it was unease and disapproval of my body hair.

When I wore my hair very short it was complaints over how confusing it was, how pretty it was long. Now that the top part's long again, I get complaints that it's dyed, that I've shaved the sides.

Last year, when I told my partner at the time that I was starting to think about T, I got a lot of objections. They thought I was going to see if vocal training would do enough for me, did I really think I'd be able to grow facial hair, I was dreaming if I thought I'd build muscle, there were other things we could try about my bottom dysphoria.

They were relieved I don't want top surgery, because they would be sad if I got rid of my tits.

When I told a relative recently, she was largely supportive, but couldn't help sliding in "I hate facial hair."

Well I'm not building this body for you, Janet.

The underlying connection between all these comments is:

I don't want you to change your body in ways I find personally unappealing/unsexy/or somehow bad.

My body is not public property.

I'm not a billboard to sell you hamburgers, a projection screen for your porngraphic fantasies, or a vessel for the hopes and dreams you had for the future.

I'm a person. My flesh belongs to me. To shape as I so please.

I'm still waffling on a knife edge about testosterone, but I realize the fear that holds me back is this:

What if they're right and I get none of the changes I want but also become undesirable in ways that get me discarded?

It's a real fear. I cannot guarantee T will change my voice, grow me a gay little mustache, help me beef up, or solve my dysphoria when it comes to intimacy.

But what's my alternative?

I stay unchanged in a body that some days I don't recognize in the mirror, with a voice that sounds like I stole it from the lost and found until time inevitably changes this meatsuit in ways that also render me undesirable?

Some choice.

There's a lot to be discussed about gender essentialism and the ways white supremacist beauty standards can influence what we as trans people deem as "necessary" for our gender expression when it comes to medical transitions.

But if the discussion boils down to "if you seek medical transitions in any way you're giving into the binary and cissexism," then we're stripping bodily autonomy completely from the conversation.

And honestly, I resent the idea that I'm playing into the gender binary by wanting bodily changes that make me *more* ambiguous by our currently defined standards of gender, not less.

And I resent the ways those arguments only seem to come into play to push me *not* to pursue changes that could make me comfortable in my body, but "hey babe, gender is all a performance, go for it" never pops up when I express the desire to wear plunging chiffon gowns to expose a thick thatch of chest hair that's sprouted between my tits.

I have the right to shape this body of mine however I see fit, my body is not a rental, I don't need to preserve its resale value, I'm here for life.

Your body isn't a rental either, and you can't resell it. Make it up to be your dream home.

[transenbyconfessions]

TW for menstruation.

I've been giving more thought to all the small things that weren't obviously signs that I may be non-binary that I've felt since I was very young and consistently held. I never had the language for how I felt back then. Realising how some of what I thought and felt probably had a bit of dysphoria along with the other reasons, is comforting but also sad.

The main one for me, who was AFAB, was they ever since I was young I never wanted children. It was something I was very, very clear about. But as this was primary school it was put down as that I was just a child and all girls grow up to have babies so you'll meet a man and change your mind. I'm 39 now, I still do not want children. I know a lot of my reasons are because I simply don't want to, it would cause me some physical problems, I couldn't afford to anyway but what I didn't realise as a child because I found, and still find expressing my feelings difficult, is that the whole idea disgusts me. I'd be changing in a way that I don't want. I hated it when I started my period because even although we had been told all about that at school, I never really connected that also included me. And when they did show up, Mum got all weird about it. I didn't understand why she got so proud and at the same time, ashamed enough that she just gave me these awful pads and not told what to do with them or how to look after myself. The whole teenage female experience and growing up into a woman wasn't something I ever connected with. It was a performance because I have a certain body that is capable of certain things. As a girl, as a woman in order to be accepted you should dress a certain way, behave a certain way. I didn't hate my body but I never felt comfortable in it, not entirely.

As I joined the military, I loved the gym. I worked out, tried to gain muscle as much, as I could. But I was way more feminine because the other women were, the women's uniform trousers were so stupid and I wasn't big enough to get the much smarter men's ones. I wanted to fit in. I cut my hair short but people always mistook me for a man in a nasty mocking way. Weird as it sounds, when I deployed and a local man addressed me with none of that, I wasn't upset because what he saw was a person with short hair, my chest hidden under my baggy shirt. It always upset me when people were snide and I wasn't even trying to pretend I was a man, I was just being myself. I dont suit long hair anyway!

Workouts almost became a bit of an obsession. It wasn't just about being fit for the work but with how I looked and I guess that was a bit of dysphoria I wasn't aware of because I didn't want a typical feminine shape.

I left, returned to civilian life and because I no longer felt the need to fit in with everybody else, I slowly dressed less feminine. I still wear some things but that's because I want to. It's just being me not presenting in a way I think others will accept. I thought about how I identified and that I never really felt like male or female fit or described me. I never had a sense of what it meant to be a woman. But neither can I say the same for man. I like being free with dressing in a way I like regardless of how masculine or feminine it is. I do think about if top surgery would be a good thing for me, just family would have a problem with it. I don't know if I'd go on T, I got used to the fact that I have periods. But I have short hair and nobody mocks me for it or say snide things about it. In fact if people can't tell which I am, that makes me happy. That's sometimes the point; I don't want to be viewed as either. I use they/them pronouns. I want to change my name to a non-feminine one. Being seen and accepted as a non-binary person means the world to me.

It took me so long to understand but I finally feel like I know and feel more at home with myself simply for understanding why I felt the way I did when people probably knew bit didn't want to face that they don't have a daughter but still a loving child.

[queerautism]

I honestly have no clue who to talk to this about, but I'm not sure I'm totally perisex. I'm trans masc, AFAB, and I want T, but I've been going through a lot of the effects of taking T without being on it.

My voice is dropping (really slowly), I'm growing chest and facial hair, the hair on my head is getting coarser.

Like, idk who to talk to about it, or how to approach it, or what, but it really hit me in the face when I was singing and my voice was able to comfortably reach a part I absolutely couldn't hit 2 years ago.

It might be nothing, but I dont really want to go to a doctor about it, especially because these changes have been slowly taking place ever since puberty started.

You'd probably be better off asking an intersex advice blog, because I'm not very knowledgeable on this area. I do know it can be hard to know sometimes, especially when it is mostly about secondary characteristics and everyone can have different levels of hormones and sensitivity to them.

If you want T, they'll have to check your hormone levels then, and if you have chill doctors you might consider asking them about it?

[n3g5nx]

What Have I Been Dragged Into?

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CHAPTER EIGHT

TW/ past domestic abuse flashback and substance abuse problems mentioned.

General warning this fic is highkey toxic so I don't condone any of this behaviour okay?

AO3 Chapters

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♡♡♡

"So… you're his so called wives" X asks with a gulp, fidgeting with the hem of their shirt.

Two of the girls sat on the couch while the blonde one was in the kitchen pouring two tall glasses of wine.

"Yeah. And we aren't the only ones." The brunette sighs, her hands firmly in her lap, intense gaze on X. It made then shift uncomfortably.

"There's Frankie, too, but she's… distracting him." The black-haired girl added . She didn't need to elaborate, her meaning was clear. 

The blonde returned and handed X a glass, taking a swig of her own and sitting in the arm chair beside the couch. They took a long gulp of their own, tapping a finger on the glass nervously. 

"I'm Amber," The blonde, Amber, started after a period of silence, "And that's Sherry and Tonya"

"I'm-" X started, but Tonya help up a hand to stop them.

"I've heard your name plenty of times." There was an edge of disgust to her voice, making X shutter at the implications. 

"Yeah, he's pretty obsessed with you." Sherry said with a reserved, soft voice, "we just… wanted to check on you. He's not trying to coerce you or…?" She trailed off.

X shook their head and took another sip of their wine. It was bitter but they didn't care at the moment and would likely be going back for seconds. This whole moment felt surreal.

"No, thank god." They mumbled before taking another long sip.

"You know, he's talked about making you… like us." Amber spoke up after a long dri k of her own glass. "But you're like, special somehow."

Sherry nodded and added, "He's 'visited' us a lot less since you got here."

"Why are you guys telling me this?" X gulps, feeling themselves growing more anxious with each minute that dragged on.

"We're worried." Tonya put simply, the other girls nodding in agreement, "He won't give you up. Not even after that." She gestured towards the darkening bruises, causing X's face to grow warm with embarrassment. 

"Hey," Tonya rises out of her seat, clasping one of their hands in hers. "It's not your fault."

The simple statement brought tears to X's eyes, their breath catching in their throat as they held back the waterworks. They nodded in response and downed the rest of their glass, pulling away to pour another. It'd been so long since they drank, they forgot how good it felt.

*

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE." They screamed, throwing the empty wine glass beside the man's head. It shattered against the wall, a stray piece of glass hitting the man and cutting open his cheek.

"YOUR HOUSE? I have been paying the rent for the past FIVE FUCKING MONTHS, X." The man retorted, stomping towards them. "If you forget, you lost your fucking job because YOU, couldn't stay sober for ONE FUCKING WEEK."

"YOU ARENT MY FUCKING DAD." X screamed in retort, shoving the man hard on the chest and turning around, slamming their hands on the table behind them.

"Yeah, I'm not, because he died popping fucking pills, just like you will." The man was seething, taking another step towards X and snatching them by the wrist, fingers digging hard into their skin. "Do you really want me to hurt you again?" He hissed out.

X tried to pull away but his grip was too strong, another scream erupting from their throat. "JUST GET OUT!"

There was a sudden pounding at the door, causing them to both fall silent and turn around to face the door.

"Great, now I have to deal with the police again. Go hide in the goddamn closet until I'm done talking to them and DONT make a fucking peep." The man demanded with a scoff, pushing them towards the hallway as he made his way to the door.

X grumbled buy complied, swaying and stumbling their way to the padded closet and slumping against the wall inside. "I'm not fucking crazy…" they murmured to themselves, watching from the slits in the closet door.

The man opened the door with a wide smile plastered across his face, but before he could say a word the blood-covered person on the other side stumbled in and latched onto him. X watched helplessly as their husband was torn into, his neck pouring blood within an instant. He screamed for only a few seconds before he was gone, the other person relentlessly tearing farther into his throat and clawing at his shoulder and chest.

They held a hand over their mouth, eyes wide and pricked with tears. They hated him but god, did they fucking love him too.

Amber had fetched a second bottle, X pouring the remaining contents into their cup. Who knows how many they've has so far. 

"My taste in guys os so fucking shit." They mumbled to themselves, lightly kicking the kitchen counter. "I'm such an idiot…"

Tonya and Sherry passed each other a worried glance before slowly standing up. They had debriefed X on a plethora of the things Negan has done and what his intentions with them probably were. They had stayed quiet most of the time, taking in everything they said.

"We should get back now…" Sherry cleared her throat.

"Yeah, before he notices we're gone." Tonya adds, offering X a faint smile as they look over at them.

Amber stammers to her feet and nods, humming in agreement. They watch as the 3 girls scurry out, leaving X alone with their thoughts and a glass of wine. 

They sat silently in the dimly lit room, only a small lamp turned on, slumped against the counter and nursing their glass of wine. Reflecting on every little moment they had with Negan, the alcohol did little to numb the pain. What was worst was that deep inside, some part of them straining to be heard, still wanted him. Still cared about him. They knew he was a piece of shit but god, it wasn't that simple, was it? He was more than that.. There were other parts of him, too. Different sides of him, even ones they'd yet to see. Maybe he just needed a nudge in the right direction was all…

Taking a swig before looking down at the swirling red liquid, they remembered him. A tall, looming figure with broad shoulders and a perfect jawline. The softest eyes, too. It wasn't Negan, it was him. Their Kate husband. God did they miss him, even if he had bruised them more times then they could count. 

With a heavy sigh, they downed the rest of their wine and pushed themselves off the floor. They changed into a tank and some shorts before stumbling out of their room. Their silent demeanour was lost, loud, clumsy steps ringing through the hallways as they walked. Usually they wore heavy boots, but now they wore nothing but thin socks on their feet.

Eventually making their way to the doctors office, they rasped at the door with a knuckle. Hopefully he'd be open this late. 

"Hello?" Dr Carson, as X had learned his name was, answered the door, looking down at them as they leaned helplessly on the frame.

"Yeah, uh, headache…" they croaked out, stumbling over each syllable, "I've got this damn headache.. real strong one. No, it's super bad, okay? I need like.. I need a bottle of something, okay?"

Dr Carson sighed, pinching the bridge of his bone at their clearly inebriated state. It was kind of sad. "Um, X, is it? Yeah, I don't think I can do that…" He said with a low sigh, "How about you just come back in the morning?"

X stood straighter and moved closer to him, looking at him with half-closed eyes and a small smile on their lips. "Pretty please, doc?" They drawled, tilting their head slightly. 

Dr Carson scoffed and pushed them back "How about we just get Negan and-"

He was cut off by their blood curdling scream, X turning around and slamming a fist into the wall behind them "I am NOT his fucking PET, I HATE that STUPID CUNT."

Their outburst was similar to that of a child, eyes flashing with something dark and wild. The doctor gulped and retreated into his office, shutting the door and fumbling for a walkie talkie.

A few moments of darkness passed before X lazily blinked open their eyes, now on the ground slumped against the wall they had hit. Someone was standing in front of them. Looking up, they recognised Dwight's nervous-looking face and tilted their head at him.

"Dwighty-boy," They giggled, "what're you doing here?"

Dwight sighed and helped X off the ground, guiding them through an exit door into the cool night air and sitting them on a step against the exterior wall. He sat on the ground across from them and pulled out a cigarette.

"Hey.. I want one too." X pouted, their eyes barely open.

"Yeah, sure…" Dwight passed them a lit cig before lighting his own and taking a long puff. "Someone wanted me looking out for you. And no, it wasn't Negan. I actually stopped Dr Carson in time before he could try to radio him."

X visibly flinched at the mention of Negan, eyes opening wider. They took a drag from their cigarette and sighed. "Did I freak out at someone?"

Dwight nodded and X cursed under their breath. They were still drunk but seemingly more calm now. Something about his presence was comforting, he seemed a lot more… normal then some of the others. Which, X couldn't say much about normalcy. 

"Thanks for, um, stepping in…" X mumbled with a sigh, a cloud of smoke exhaling from their lungs as they cast a sideways glance to Dwight. "I.. I don't know why I do that. Why I freak out like that sometimes. It's just… everything gets so messed up in my head."

Dwight nodded again as he took another drag of his cigarette, looking through the railing at the distant night landscape, "We've all got our demons." He replied quietly, toying with the cig between his fingers, "This world, hell, this place.. it does things to people."

"God, I'm so stupid…" X quietly said to themselves, taking another drag. They'd been avoiding getting back into smoking but hell, it's the apocalypse. Who's going to stop them?

[latter-day-saint-nick]

Nearly a month since my last update, mostly because I've been too busy/lazy. I think my voice is starting to break. While I can still reach most of the high notes, my voice tends to shake and crack a bit when I do, and I oftwn sound a bit hoarse when I'm talking. I'm also growing more hair on my chest, which I'm not too thrilled about. This might be unusual for a trans guy, but I don't really like body hair.

During one of my interviews with the gender clinic, I made the mistake of mentioning that I wasn't looking forward to growing more body hair when I went on T. While it wasn't the only factor, I'm pretty sure it played a part in the doctor's decision that I wasn't ready for medical transition.

You know, if someone had sat me down when I was 12 or 13, given me a list of every single change my body would go through during puberty and asked me how I felt about them, the only one I would have expressed any kind of excitement over would have been the growth spurt. My reaction to the other changes (which includes, ya know, growth of body hair) would have been "meh" at best and "ew no" at worse. Yet nobody gave me a choice in this and I was expected to just bear puberty with a grin and not complain about it. So it seems pretty unfair to me that someone felt that I wasn't allowed to go through my second puberty until I was not only okay with, but absolutely thrilled about, every single change that T would bring to my body. No, I don't like having body hair, but I already shave my legs and armpits. Shaving my chest as well really isn't that big of a deal if it means I also get to look masculine and handsome.

So yeah. Gatekeeping is stupid, and trans kids have to put up with way too much crap.

[ghostonly]

A few things I didn't know to expect when starting T

So I'm sure all of you who want to start T have made the acquaintance of all the standard lists of What Happens, but today I will give you a list of small things that are mostly side effects of the main things. Some fun things to expect when you start T:

Note: I've been on subQ injections for 6 months, so my experiences will be within that time frame

Note 2: None of this is meant to discourage anyone, I just know I was filled to the brim with curiosity before I started and I hope this will excite or satisfy the curiosity of others

You'll probably itch where you grow new hair.

My upper chest and the backs of my wrists/hands have gone through multiple bouts of itching in the past few months as hair has thickened or started growing in. I was already pretty hairy to begin with because I've always had high T levels so, if you aren't, you might get itching in other places as well

Voice dropping seems to come in stages.

There's the initial drop which, for me didn't have a lot of big cracks, but just a rougher sounding voice in general. Then that smoothed out and I sounded kind of like a teenage boy. Then it started to crackle again and then that smoothed out. I think I'm on my third round of this and the sound is finally starting to mature a bit and sound more full

Your genitals are gonna smell different.

This was kind of alarming to me, especially because the smell change wasn't what I expected. I am under the impression that hormones affect pH and soap does as well, so if you're used to washing with a specific soap, it might affect the pH of your junk in tandem with the hormonal changes and basically what I'm saying is, you're going to probably go on a wild ride of "what the fuck is happening" for the first 6 months or so of transition until you get used to things and find a soap that feels like it jives well with your natural smells. I'm extremely smell sensitive, so you might not find the changes as alarming as I did, but fair warning

Your pee is also going to smell different.

It's going to smell muskier and altogether disgusting if you're not used to it. But you will get used to it, over time. I promise

Your skin is going to get so mad.

Start a skin care routine before you start T and get used to it, because you are going to need to keep that up for the entire duration of puberty. I'm going to give you some really good routine advice below.

I have oily skin and thought before starting, "I think my skin has been the same since puberty and I've just gotten used to it." WRONG. Even if you had mad oily skin during puberty and your skin is still oily, it has definitely gotten less oily over time. It is not the same as when you went through puberty. You are going to realize this in about 1-2 weeks after starting T and you are going to be filled with regret at your naivety.

With my current routine, I'm showering every other day because I'm disabled but, if you can, shower every day. I keep CeraVe "normal to oily skin" face wash in the shower and use that on my face, and sometimes shoulders, every time I shower. Use a washcloth when you wash your face in the shower. It helps remove dead skin and makes your skin so much softer.

If you have oily skin, I will tell you what I got told by a dermatologist when I was a teenager: your skin is oily because it is dry. What happens is that your skin gets really dry and your body makes extra oil to compensate for it. So, the solution is to moisturize it. It sounds really counterintuitive but it works. If you moisturizer your skin, it will get less oily and you will get less acne.

"But lotion feels gross."

I know this and I love you. Let me tell you how to minimize lotion grossness. First, get a lotion that's not too thick. I like Aveeno for dry skin. It works well for me. Plus, it comes in a pump bottle, so you can keep it on your bathroom counter. After washing your face in the shower, you have a prime canvas for lotion. When you get out of the shower, pat-dry your face, then give it about - literally - 30 seconds to air dry. Then, when it's no longer wet but still slightly damp from the steamy air, get some lotion (maybe a fat pea's worth), rub it between your hands, and then put that shit on your face. Start at your forehead and work down. If your eyebrows get really oily or get dead skin under them, put lotion over them too. Those bitches are the worst. Rub the lotion in really really well.

Your face will feel damp and oily while you're getting dressed, but by the time you're done getting dressed and brushing your hair and the steam has cleared, your face will feel mostly like normal - maybe slightly less dry. The very slight difference in skin feel will get normal really fast and it won't bother you anymore.

If you don't do this like I said, it won't work like I said. Doing it right after a hot shower when your skin is really soft and your pores are open is key to getting it to rub in well enough that it doesn't just sit on the surface of your skin feeling lotioney and terrible.

Stop touching your face.

You're going to want to touch it even more now that there are hairs growing out of it. If the hair coming in is tempting to touch, shave it off. The acne is going to come in hot and you're going to be miserable

Your facial hair will literally come in patchy.

I thought when people said facial hair grows in patchy that they meant like, a bit here and there, but all over the facial hair region. No. It literally comes in in little patches. At least mine does.

While all of my facial hair went from baby-fine to slightly longer blond within a few months, the dark hair has come in in the most awkward way possible. A few months in I got a patch of thick, dark hair (though sparse) right on my neck. It's like 1x1 inches in an oval shape. That's it. That was the only dark hair on my face. One weird circle of it. Since then, I've started to get a few more dark hairs toward my chin. I'm 6 months in, an already-hairy person, and this is what I've got to show for.

So just be warned, patchy means literally in patches and not just, "sparse but all over."

Voice changes did not make singing harder.

A note especially for my singers out there who have heard the horror stories of singing becoming impossible: it's not true. Those horror stories are largely spun out of proportion with the average trans masc experience on T.

I lost some of my upper range right away and getting used to the lower range I gained was a bit weird because your throat gets sore quickly and it's scratchy. However, I continued to sing and push my lower range as my voice dropped and I had no issue with suddenly being unable to sing. I've even regained some of my upper range as my voice has stabilized.

The only thing even remotely tricky about adjusting to the new range has been learning to have a middle range. Before, I had high and low and that was it. Head singing and throat singing, if we speak of where the sound resonates. Now I have like, mouth level, throat level, and chest level. I have an easy time switching between my upper range and lower range, but I've had to get used to knowing where to direct my voice to get the middle range. I'm getting used to it though. It just takes some practice.

You're going to be fine and you're going to enjoy singing with a deeper voice. T isn't going to ruin singing for you <3

If anyone has any questions at all about the first 6 months on T, reblog or respond with them and I will answer them!

[wornoutmouse]

Fun fact: demon slayer starts in 1912 and ends in 1927(or at least that's when the Tashio era ends). Using that math Tanjiro (as long as he kept his health good) would very well be alive today at the ripe age of like 78 if my math is correct since he started as 13 in the series. (My math probably wrong asf)

Power imbalance, power bottom reader, knife play,  blood but not blood play...

He hated you.

Your very being irked him more than anything he'd ever experienced in all his centuries of living. You were clumsy, boisterous, and played that arrogant music all throughout your home while walking around half naked. Well in Muzan's opinion you were half naked, he couldn't even begin to describe his disbelief at the trend of exposing skin. 

It didn't help that you had that insignificant filth running through your veins. At first he was unsure, after all this was a completely different country than Japan, not to mention your darker skin and coiled hair. But no, he could smell and recognise the Kamado blood running through your veins just as strongly as it had run through all your ancestors. 

Completely undiluted. 

At the very beginning when you first moved in, you  came to his home. Knocking aggressively on his front door already getting off to the wrong start. When he opened it, you slipped past him and walked into his living room barely even saying hello as you put poorly decorated sugar cookies on his obsidian coffee table. "This is a nice place you got here Mj." 

Muzan's eyes twitched, that joke had long since gotten old since he moved to America. 

Now that you were closer he could definitely smell, the century old stench of rivaling bloodlust simmered just below your onyx skin. At any moment he expected you to attack him in some way or form. "Anyways I'm here to say hello neighbor, my name is Y/n and I'm your new best friend!"

Your happy attitude also agitated him to no end. Even though the knowledge of demons had dwindled down to only a few select families, even basic humans were wary of him as their baser instincts made them aware of his dangerous origins. This fact had long since forced Muzan to only prey on the elderly to survive. You had stayed a bit longer babbling about some nonsense that Muzan never acknowledged as he watched you from a good distance.

"You know you really got to add more to your wardrobe than 1963 suits." You walked from the back of his home, an area that he didn't even notice you wandered to. Finally getting bored, you open his door bidding your farewells. 

Just before leaving you stop and with a cheeky grin say, "If you ever need anything just come on over. We Kamado's are known for our kindness." 

Since then he'd been on edge around you. The point of relocating was for him to keep a low profile but now it seems he'd have to come face to face with an old nemesis reborn. 

Muzan snapped out of his thoughts with a flinch as he pierced his hand with his nail. He watches the dark blood well up from the wound and drip down his wrist. In the end this world had long since lost its hostility dwindling the average human incapable of basic combat. Giving you were no doubt a great descendant, Muzan failed to see you as a true threat.  

But one can never be too sure

🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢

You heard a knock on your door, soft and hesitant. "I don't think I'm expecting company." You checked your watch and peered out of a nearby window. It was at least 8 at night, you were braless wearing sweats with a red T-Shirt and on your way to bed.  In the back of your mind you visualize your two grand-uncles Inosuke and Zenitsu coming over to make you spectate their fights. For two old dudes they still had enough strength in them to do hip breaking nonsense.

You open the door shocked to see your next door neighbor standing before you. For once he wasn't wearing a suit that cost more than your house. His attire was still expensively dressed but in a more casual sense, that being a black dress shirt and slacks. His sleeves were rolled up displaying his pale skin. "Can I come in?" A dazzling smile you had never seen before practically blinds you as he walks past you into your home.

When Muzan walks in his eyes immediately dart to the clear as day Nichirin Blade sword displayed recklessly on your living room wall above your couch. "You like it?" A hand on his shoulder makes him jump, "Got it from my grandpa, he says it's really special but I feel like he's exaggerating. You know how old people are." Muzan shakes out of his stupor. "I don't quite understand what you mean by that, however I do know that it's much more wise to listen to your elders than ignoring…..It could save your life."

Muzan replicates you and puts a hand on your shoulder gently squeezing. This was it, he'd go in for the kill and it would be over, the amount of blood he'd pump into you would be enough to watch you meet a satisfying end of combustion completely untraceable if the police were to get involved. How he wishes he'd be there when your poor grandfather walks along your remains splattered on every surface in your living room. Unable to do a thing as he's finally in his last stretch of life. 

The beauty.

Muzan's finger only twitches in the slightest before pain sparks from his own neck. "The thought of you coming into my own home unprovoked and at night no less, was the most obvious sign one could ask more." You had his hand gripped so tight your veins popped while your other hand held a small pocket knife that burned  brighter than any Nichirin sword he'd ever encountered. He didn't understand, he was quick enough to kill even the best of the ancient Hiroshima. So how did a little foreign girl like you get the upper hand?

It was embarrassing and almost laughable if any of his pillars were alive to tell the tale.

You press the blade harder before bringing your other hand to caress Muzan's cheek,  "Did you think I'd be just an ignorant descendant of an infamous hero?" You clicked your teeth disappointingly. "How naive, you've really become lazy after all these millennia huh?" You walk forward, pushing Muzan back with seductive strength. He allows you to push him into your couch,  I say allow because at any time he could have stopped you.  

Muzan is most definitely not holding me at gunpoint right now. 

The knife never wavers even as you climb into Muzan's lap, pressing it even closer against his jugular. "You do know getting beheaded will not kill me, and I doubt this petty little kitchen knife will get the job done in the first place." Your lips draw into a smirk and you press the knife closer as you trail it down his chest, "That may be true but it's gonna take one hell of a time for you to grow back." Your hand jerks down, popping his shirt buttons open.

Muzan watches with interest, your eyes light up as more skin becomes exposed. The tones of your dark skin contrast strikingly as you caress his pectoral with the tips of your fingers. "For a 1,000 year old grandpa you look decent." Still threatening his life with your blade, you kiss him. It's deep and carnal. Your lustful desires being made known as you grind in his lap. The flesh of your ass snuggly hotdogs the forming outline of his cock. "I've always wanted to be with a demon. You've had to of become a real freak after living this long!"

When you pull away Muzan's thin lips are pink and a bit swollen. He is out of breath despite needing none, "You have a lot of nerve for a mere human." With your free hand you loosen the belt of his slacks, only standing to pull them off, pleased when Muzan voluntarily raises his hips to aid you. 

Don't get him wrong, he was still planning on killing you and ending your wretched bloodline once and for all, he just needed his mind to clear itself. Your scent, your confidence, strung him along like a puppet. His hands grip onto your ass cheeks like a lifeline. Molding them between his fingers, even giving them a shake through your sweats. His nails elongate and puncture the thick fabric as if it was nothing more than a spider web. 

Your sweats are tugged off completely leaving your lower half nude. Muzan moves his hands to hold your ass again but your blade politely makes itself known. You are out of breath and clearly flustered. "Watch yourself, demon, I'm the one calling the shots, don't forget that." Muzan bites his tongue with sharp glare. He raises his hands in surrender, "Of course." 

Muzan can feel your wetness against his leg and it's driving him insane. "Hey…" red eyes refocus on yours, "You ain't got any diseases do you? And you can't get me pregnant right?" Muzan smirks hands enclosing around your ass despite your protest. "I can, however it will cost a lot more than doing it once." The odds didn't seem in your favor but you were in no position to stand down and grab a condom and Muzan knew it.

You curve the blade towards his chin, "If you are lying and give me some ancient unknown disease or I find out you have superman sperm, I will kill you." Muzan links his lips, "Wasn't that the plan from the beginning or have you had a moment of level headedness?" Your wrist is quick and precise, cutting a thin slash along his jawline., not enough to scar and it barely even bled, but the threat was clear.

You grab Muzan's dick and use your thumb to attack the underside with fast strokes. Said man doesn't react outwardly, the only sign being his eyelids lowering by a fraction. "Were you always this well endowed or did you adjust this part too?" Muzan was not amused by your insinuation. Deciding to once again display the true power imbalance this situation had, he loops his arms underneath your large thighs and lifts you just enough to thrust his cock against your hole. 

From there he let's go, making you plop down on his length, making you yelp and allowing him to lean back with a relaxed sigh. You were so warm and tight. Now even though I explained what had happened with great detail,  keep in mind that in reality it all happened within a fraction of a second. 

Your large and in charge persona was cracking.  You gripped Muzan's sides tightly as your pussy spasmed around his girth. "F-Fuck it's too….." you trail off not wanting to give Muzan the credit he was truly due. 

It takes a few moments for you to get your bearings all the while Muzan and his dangerous jaw swayed in the crevice of your neck. A viper playing with its prey. The blade is back against his neck once again making his cock twitch. If he were human this would be a dangerous feat.  Your grip never slacked nor lessened against his neck, slicing into a growing wound that dropped dark blood down his chest and to his abdomen. 

His dick stretched your pussy and made it weap on each downstroke. Muzan's hands grip onto the cheeks of your ass with gritted teeth.  Your insides gripped him ever so slightly.  Sucking him back in as if he belonged there.  He felt used and it felt good.  His black ringlets stuck to his face from sweat and his red eyes grew in intensity. 

He couldn't see much of your body, hell he could barely even touch. In the back of his mind humorous thoughts such as how he knew Tanjiro would lose his sanity if he knew his granddaughter was being bedded by the man he despised. But the more you bounced, the more you squeezed, the deeper you cut into his neck proved that you were truly the one in charge. 

"Oh God you're so deep!" Your deep almond eyes shut themselves with pleasure. Muzan could feel your legs shaking with exertion at the same rhythm your pussy twitched. His balls felt tight after having no action in over a dozen years. "F-Faster." He has no care for your blade, only wanting to cum and feel the sweet ecstasy he knew your creamed pussy would provide. "Come on human, go faster." Muzan locks lips with you, gaze hardened and intent on proving some sort of point.

Tossing the knife you wrap your arms around his neck pulling his head closer. Red eyes target brown ones as his hands take a stronger grip on your ass. He uses his strength to bounce you. The sound of his balls slapping against the curve of your ass is just as disgusting as it is sexy. Your nipples rub against his through your tank-top making you both moan. The feeling blood stains your shirt making you shiver from the cool wetness

The couch you rest on bangs against the wall behind you the faster you both go. Muzan's feet are planted firmly in the ground, his fangs further elongated. He looks feral and it is in this moment where you get a glimpse of the horror many people felt when he took their lives. "Focus little Kamado, you wouldn't want to disappoint me now would you?" 

Muzan's hips meet yours, spreading the tempo. Your juices coat his lap before finally you tense up completely into a cramp inducing stance as Muzan impaled you on his cock one last time. "Ahh.." Muzan empties himself within you with a relieved sigh. 

Maybe the Kamado bloodline could go on.

[has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong]

Adulation of the King (Gilgamesh x Gender Neutral Master/ Body Worship/ NSFW)

Word Count: 7.3 k words

Summary: With his tendency to dominate, Gilgamesh reigns as the leader of your relationship. However, you crave more; wishing to render him to a quivering mess beneath your hands instead. In a surprise twist in fate, your request to test out some Body Worship on the King of Heroes comes with some rather unexpected results....

Author Note: Ever since the day I read an FGO confession that read ‘I want to tenderly love every inch of Gilgamesh’s body’, I've always wanted to bring said concept to life. For him to yield his ego to pleasure...I really wanted to write about that! Yes, this is a fic in which Gilgamesh will be the submissive one. Please enjoy!

Warnings: NSFW (18+ Adults ONLY), Body Worship, Handjob, Oral, A lot of kisses, Insults (from Gilgamesh), Teasing, Dominant and Submissive, Vanilla, Foreplay, Second Person POV, Aftercare.

Notes: The master in this story is gender neutral.

Things were not meant to turn out this way; not in the slightest. 

Not when he was the Oldest King; and you were naught but a simple mongrel. He was the infallible King of Heroes- the arbiter of all pleasures, with a form so resplendent that all would have no choice but to prostrate themselves before his magnificent prowess.

It was his duty to reduce his partners into a pliable mess, dominance plummeting them to the depths of submissive pleasure. 

Yet here the two of you were, your hands massaging his flaxen locks of hair as if they were possessed with an ancient magic- or so Gilgamesh led himself to believe, for he could barely comprehend what kind of sorcery could reduce his entire being into such a crumbling mess.  

But then again, he was resistant to magic. So then, what was it? What could be the cause of this unbelievable change- for mere scalp massage- a massage, mind you! - to be sending strange shivers down his body, for him to have to bite the inside of his mouth to hold back moans for the entire night; his usual vigour ebbing into an energy feeble enough to make him yell with frustration? 

It was all too much for him to bear. If one was to tell him that your innocent suggestion would’ve led to such a startling development, he would’ve laughed right in their face; mocking them for their insolence. 

‘...For such a mongrel to outwit one such as I... how utterly humiliating a farce this is.’   

Rose-tinted bathwater reducing his mind into his haze; as you lay delicate kisses atop his temple whilst washing his face- Gilgamesh tries- and regrettably fails- to contemplate how you were able to reduce him to such a state within the first place... 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. 

“Gilgamesh...” Briefly parting from a rather intense, passionate kiss; you attempt to share your thoughts, heart burning with anticipation. “I have something I want to say...” 

“What ails you, to interrupt me so? I shan’t wait. Replace such thoughts with my remarkable self instead!” Before you can even pipe up, he presses you deeper into the silken bedsheets, lips and tongue almost devouring you, entrapping your hands behind your head; as he lines a trail of saliva across your chest, lapping you up with his tongue. 

Authoritatively claiming your body as his own, he continues to bend you to his will; reigning as the supreme leader of the relationship. 

It had always been like this between you both, right from the very start. Despite gradually growing closer to one another over the course of numerous hurdles, vulnerability was still a major weak point within your relationship- especially in regards to sexual matters.

Although you enjoyed those scorching hot nights, bursting at the seams with lust; and loved yielding to his commandeering aura- as he marks you with wild bites- sometimes you craved for more- hungered to be the one standing at the pinnacle instead. 

During sex, neither of you typically expressed how you felt; sessions feeling much more like a grand exhibition of debauchery instead of a romantic heart-to-heart. And it pained you, heart aching at the fact that such towering emotional barriers were still so prevalent within the bedroom.

Heck, glimpsing into the King of Hero’s tightly-guarded heart was a strenuous challenge even outside of the bedroom. 

Did the two of you even share the same feelings for one another? No matter how hard you tried to search through your memories for signs of anything greater than just a mutual attraction for one another, you were always left feeling hopeless. 

As he continued aggressively sucking and biting on you- as a means to assert his rampant desires- your mind drifts into a sea of thoughts, mulling over what it’d be like for him to be on the receiving end for once; images of him blushing adorably at your words serving as a rather unusual distraction from his torrid kisses.

Too absorbed within his own egotistical desires to notice your wandering mind, Gilgamesh is also in a world of his own. 

‘If only I could make that a reality...’ Completely lost within the world of dreams, even the cold sensation of Gilgamesh’s jangling golden earrings can’t snap you back to the present. How would he react if you were to tease him? Would he blush? Would he resist your words, putting up a fuss? Or would he let you pleasure him, to expose the adorable side hiding within? 

 As you imagine him crying your name, as you softly fondle his length; you suddenly buck into his hips with all the force of a dragon, moaning Gilgamesh’s name loudly enough to catch him off guard. “S-shit...” Your voice had slipped out before you could even control it! 

“M-mongrel?!” Scarlet red eyes stare into yours with surprise, clouded with confusion, as he finally releases your hands. “It is almost as if you’re possessed tonight. Enlighten me of the reasoning behind this occurrence at once.”

Harsh words hide his arousal from hearing his name moaned so seductively. ‘I never forecasted that they would be capable of such alluring moans...’  

“Well, Gilgamesh...I have something that I’d like to tell you.” Taking a deep breath, you prepare to finally set such long-held feelings loose, heart hammering in your chest at his possible reaction.  

It was now or never!  

If you weren’t to expose your innermost feelings now, the chance may never occur again. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. 

“Well...have you heard of ‘body worship’ before?” Awkwardly broaching the question, you wring your hands together; body flaming with embarrassment.

Strongly wishing to be swallowed up by the ground, you struggle to look into his piercing red eyes. It was difficult to navigate one as unpredictable as the King of Heroes. ‘Who knows how he’ll react. Ugh...’ 

Trying to register your words into his mind, the king regales you- only to be distracted by how endearing your meek expression is. ‘Hoh...another unforeseen expression. Not bad...’ Amused by your squirming under his steely gaze, all records of your words fly from his mind.  

Time slows to a lull, as the two of you stare blankly at one another; him being so taken by your reaction that he forgets to answer your question altogether. 

“Err, Gilgamesh? Earth to Gilgamesh? Hello?” Waving your hands into his face, he snaps out of his reverie. “Ah, you’re finally back. I wonder what’s got you so distracted?” 

“I-it was obviously because your enquiry was so dull-witted that I lost all interest at once!” It wasn’t because he was captivated by you, not at all! He was just bored, your face serving as the ultimate means of entertainment- or so he fooled himself into believing.  

However, once he catches sight of your crestfallen expression; mouth drooping like a weeping willow, he sighs.  

“Repeat your request at once, mongrel. Don’t keep me waiting.” 

Wringing your hands together, you steel your trembling heart, masking your worries with a brave composure.  “Have you ever heard of ‘body worship’ before? I was thinking that it’d be fun to try. How about it?” 

‘Body...worship?!’ Were you going to erect a statue in his name, offering gifts and riches to appease his spirits?  Unsure of what you mean by this, Gilgamesh tries to understand the phrase ‘body worship’ through his own cultural lens.

Reminiscing on humanity’s reverent prayer for the Mesopotamian Gods; with how they’d enshrine their statues within sacred ziggurats- he was completely flummoxed.  

You weren’t attempting to make him your god, were you? As one who had committed himself to severing his ties with the gods in order to ensure the bountiful prosperity of humanity, he misconstrues your suggestion as an offensive jab at his identity.

If he wanted beings that would worship his every step, then he’d have millions of them by his side by now. 

“How foolish, for you to propose engaging with a prospect as farcical as religiously worshipping me! I wish to have no part in such ill-advised designs. You dare treat your king like an ancient piece of memorabilia?!” Red eyes flaming with discontent, he leaps to the worst possible assumption. 

“W-wait, Gilgamesh. Though some people do practice body worship in such a manner, that wasn’t what I was suggesting at all!” Things weren’t going to plan at all, his ego already riled up from misinterpreting your words. ‘This is going even worse than expected.’ 

“Then pray tell, enlighten me as to the inner workings of your mind at once!” 

“It’s simple! To worship your partner’s body is to adorn them in love and affection, touching and kissing them all over!” Exploding with passion as you slam a weighty explanation as to how you desire to touch him, to whisper words of love, declaring affection for every inch of his entire body; his expressions vary wildly- ranging from shock, surprise, puzzlement, to finally... genuine amusement? 

Shoulders shaking with hearty laughter, Gilgamesh knocks his head back within a truly buoyant laugh.

“FUHAHAHA! How utterly comical of you, mongrel! No wonder your temperament radiates such carnal lust tonight. It seems you’ve awoken some rather intriguing new desires.” The sheer brazenness of your words tickles him right within the funny bone, wiping tears from his eyes.  

Impressed by such a bold declaration, your honest confession fills him with fascination. ‘It seems I have underestimated them somewhat.’  You knew how much he loved to conquer others, yet you were bold enough to attempt to push the relationship to new limits; growing evermore.

He can’t help but respect you for that. 

Despite this, he remains unsure. If he was to accept your proposition, would he lose all restraint, relinquishing the control that he fought so doggedly to preserve? The mere thought of him surrendering himself to your ‘body worship’ fills his stomach with a tumultuous kaleidoscope of butterflies. 

It was vital- no, essential that you delved no deeper than what he permitted you to see. To expose the bones and flesh lying behind such a divine visage would be besides him. If you were to have ulterior motives- 

‘No. I mustn't toil over such wanton thoughts. The King of Heroes fears none.’ Shaking such brittle thoughts from his mind, he regains his kingly composure; deflecting his feelings by testing the limits of your courage instead. 

“Err, Gilgamesh...you’re staring blankly at me again. Anyone home?” By the gods, did he accidentally drift off into a sea of thoughts again? Embarrassed by this, he clears his throat; reclaiming his usual demeanour, sharp red eyes regaining their piercing gaze. 

“I must profess that I am impressed by your desire to claim me so,” The twinkle in your eyes as he says that is ridiculously obvious. “However. To dare to challenge one such as I- one who has discovered all of the pleasures basking within this vast world- is hubristic enough to make me laugh. What makes you think that your touch can satisfy one who possesses as much knowledge on sexual acts as I?!”

He really wasn’t holding back this time. 

However, you expected nothing less from him. If there was one trademark feature of Gilgamesh, it was his tendency to put others down. Spurred on by his words, you counter him. “I’m not interested in competing against you. I just want to be the one to hold you within my arms this time. Is that so bad?” 

‘Urk!’ His taunts were meant to break you, not further steel your resolve! Mind desperately searching for a powerful comeback, his response comes in a hurry. 

 “Hoh, how impertinent of you to request such a luxury; one that I’ve bequeathed only upon the worthiest of beings! As if I would bestow you with such wondrous alms, when you’re naught but a mere lowlife.”

Only a few beings from his assorted lifetimes were close enough for him not to mind them seeing his other sides. Nostalgically thinking back to a stunning algae-haired soul, a gutsy warrior upon the moon cell; and a rather sadistic mapo-tofu loving priest, Gilgamesh’s face contorts into a dastardly smirk. 

“Don’t get cocky, mongrel.” 

‘Even the strongest of mongrels would recoil from such words.’ How was that? Had he effectively pushed you away, protecting his frail heart from your courageous desires? As he regales your serious expression; a small feeling of actual guilt gnaws at his heart. 

Had he gone too far? Worried that he had discouraged you from the concept entirely- his words belie a secret interest in testing this out -he opens his mouth to offer a backhanded compliment; only to be utterly stunned by your next words. 

“You sure as hell know how to punch people where it hurts, Gilgamesh.” Exasperation marks your face, as you shake your head. “I’m glad that there’s people that you care dearly for, but I think you’ve misunderstood my intentions, yet again.” Hands reaching out to gently cup his face, Gilgamesh’s breath suddenly hitches in his throat- not because he likes it, of course! 

“Though I would like it if you could open up to me, it’s fine if you don’t. What I’m truly asking for is your permission to let me have my way with you. I don’t really mind the details, to be honest. I just thought that it would be fun to be the dominant one this time.”

All of Gilgamesh’s blathering on about status, mongrels and sexual mastery made little difference to your feelings for him. “If you don’t want to do it, then just tell me outright; instead of arming yourself with insults hefty enough to rival your Gate of Babylon!” 

 It was honestly frustrating how he’d let his pride get in the way of being direct with you. Discussing these sorts of matters with him was akin to dragging your heels through mud- he was just so stubborn, walling himself within a prison of self-imposed rules.  

“I care enough about you to respect your wishes, so respect mines as well.” 

‘?!’ Astonishment washes through him as you smash his entire army of bluffs into tiny smithereens, reducing all of his conjuncture into useless pieces of rubble. “I-I have no intention of objecting to your request. It would be foolish of you to think that way. I was just...”  

Think, Gilgamesh, think! How could he convince you of his interest whilst preserving his ego at the same time? “...I was just testing your worthiness as a subject of the King.” Gilgamesh mentally dives low enough to perfectly save his annihilated fortress of insults, desperately attempting to maintain composure. 

However, it was far from a perfect save, thanks to the most damningly obvious blush burning his ears as he cranes his face away; distracting himself from the warmth of your hands. 

“Wait...am I dreaming right now?! Y-you're consenting?” Now that was unexpected.

Typically, the two of you would spiral into long debates that would last through even the darkest hours of night- yet he had conceded so quickly that you couldn’t help but gawp in shock.  

“It makes no difference to me what you do to my body, for pleasure is my domain. You shall do as you wish, for it shall bear little to no impact upon my unconquerable self anyway. Go ahead, mongrel. Serve as the utmost entertainment for me, failing miserably to arouse even a modicum of desire within this chest!” 

 He hopes that his intimidating laugh and cruel words will force you back into your place below his mighty throne, but the dozens of soft kisses that you begin to plant against his face startle him- yet again- into a dazed stupor. 

Oh boy, he was most definitely in for it now. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. 

Starting with his face, you stroke your hands through glowing fields of blond hair, that slip gently through your fingers- giving way for you to press a deep kiss to the crown of his head. “A beautiful crown for an auspicious king.” 

“?!” Gilgamesh inwardly begins to guffaw at such cheesy words, formulating a witty comeback on that silver tongue of his- only for his mind to momentarily blank again as your delicate lips trace a journey through his firm skin; even going as far to rest them on areas such as his prominent cheekbones and fluttering eyelashes.  

 Those stunning vermillion eyes that could see right through you, amassing a font of infinite wisdom. Those neatly trimmed eyebrows that furrowed themselves into the most arrogant of contortions; those lips that would curl up into a dastardly smirk, a firm frown, or even a magnificent laugh- that nose that was always pointed up as he looked down on others...you loved them all.

Expressing said feelings via words- as well as enough kisses to drown his face within a mountain of them- a rather shaky retort finally spills from his quivering lips. 

 “Don’t think that such flattery will endear me to you, mongrel. It is a given that a face as resplendent as mine is all but impossible to resist-” What in the blue blazes were you doing, nibbling fondly enough on his earlobe to cut him off mid-speech? He couldn’t quite believe it himself.  

“Most mongrels all but shrivel up before my immense radiance. You aren’t a-any different from them...” It was a given that humans would wither before such a terrifyingly beautiful golden presence (or so he believes); and you were not the exception to this. 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t compliment you, though.” Your cool breaths fan his ear, as you playfully jangle his molten golden earrings. “The myriad of expressions your face makes, transforming that beautiful countenance of yours into such adorable forms...I could watch you forever.”

And you meant every single word. 

“Hah...you’re such a simpleton-?!” You were now bearing down on him from behind- although he was certain that you were only facing him a moment ago! In addition to that, for you to now be positioned behind an area as exposed as his back left him feeling unguarded- but he’d never admit that if you asked.

He wanted you where he could see you- so that he could at least maintain some form of control.  

“To move your face away from the king by concealing your form behind my back...are you too scared to continue? Hahaha, such cowardice is only to be expected.” Only words could protect his ego now. 

“I can see why you’d think that.” You breathe, gliding your fingers down from the base of his chin to his collarbone; tickling him with your feather-light touch. “But in truth, the reason why I’m behind you are because I want you to watch as my hands trail over your body- I want you to know just how worthy each and every part of you is.” 

As you continue to ghost your fingertips along the elegant length of his neck, Gilgamesh’s mind boggles at the levity of your words. Certain that he’s the bane of not just yours but many peoples’ existences, with his contemptuous words, incomprehensible actions and snide remarks; your need to hammer in how worthy a person he is to you elicits a flickering thrill from deep within, delectable flames stirring up a frenzy. 

“Hah, as if I need you to display to me the undeniable truth of what I am, mongrel! I need not your reassurance...” Ignoring the flames threatening to break his composure in two, Gilgamesh bats your compliment away- only then for an absurd tingling sensation to run its way through his body, thanks to you seductively suckling the base of his throat. “...It is a grave mistake to interrupt your king mid-speech!” 

Taking pleasure in feeling the hearty reverberation of his deep, dulcet tones against your mouth, you crane your head even further past his shoulders; amused by the wild sense of bewilderment radiating within his charming eyes. “Sorry, Gilgamesh, but the delicious tones of your voice aroused me. I couldn’t help but kiss you...” 

 It was true- you adored his archaic tone of his voice (though his insults irritated you greatly). The way in which he’d wax such flowery prose at the same time as barking imposing imperative orders; how the words he’d weave sometimes stored precious pearls of wisdom; other times crude and callous thoughts...the tone of Gilgamesh’s voice changed greatly depending on the emotions that he wished to portray or hide, and you found great enjoyment within that. 

 As you blurt this out between kisses and soft flickers of your tongue on his nape, he almost concedes on the spot. 

What was it that you wanted from him, to assail him with such a mass of inescapable flattery?! Was it jewels, treasures, or something even greater than that? Kneading your fingers through the knots anguishing his sturdy, armour-burdened shoulders; he struggles to bite back moans.

As you continue, pressing deeply onto the rigid parts of those deliciously strong shoulders, the irresistible waft of his scent filtrates through your nose. 

Ah, his scent. That musky, spicy scent; that wrapped and comforted you like a comforting fireplace, heating you up through even the coldest of nights. Burying your nose against his back, you sigh, as you greedily continue to sniff all over his back with your eager nostrils. 

 “You smell so, so good...like a slice of heaven, providing me with a safe retreat.” Whenever he was to hold you in your arms, or guard you from danger; that homely smell would calm you at once. Shit. Now you were the one losing your mind! “It’s so intoxicating that I’m starting to lose control of myself.”  

‘Ah- so that’s what this mongrel desires.’ If all you desired was a share of his luxurious perfumes, all you had to do was ask! He was the generous sort when it came to gifts, after all. “If your sole reason for this ‘worship’ was to solicit me into lending you my scent, you need not ask...not at all.” Even if you asked for the entire world, he’d deign to give it to you. 

“You’ve guessed wrong, although I wouldn’t mind mingling your scent with my own.” He chokes at the shamelessness of such a euphemism, as you kiss the heat kindling against his cheeks. “I’m here for the entire package, you know?”  

So, you weren’t trying to use him to obtain his perfume, then? The chaos swirling within his mind intensifies, truly bewildered as to what the true purpose behind this ‘body worship’ is. “Then what do you...” His voice reduces itself to a miniscule murmur, eyes drifting to your hands as they lace themselves through his bold red divinity tattoos- the ticklish sensation sending chills down his spine. 

“Your divine markings are so striking, so interesting. Whenever I see them, I feel a strong urge to touch them.”

You found them cool, unable to rip your eyes away from the way in which the markings proudly emblazoned his frame. And the way in which they’d glow...you wanted to lick them right off his skin! However, Gilgamesh’s entire countenance freezes at those words, body clenching like a rock.  

Aware of this sudden change, you peek your head around the side to see if everything’s okay. 

“Are you okay? Are you not enjoying this?” You could sense it- his emotional walls had returned full-force, barricading you entirely. ‘Damn...looks like I’ve messed up.’ You wait for Gilgamesh’s response.  

“Mongrel...do you only laud me for my divinity?” Face craned as far away from you as possible, as you retract your touch long enough to mull over his words- a somber jolt of pain flashes through his heart. He wouldn’t be surprised if that was your true motives behind this.

If you only admired him for his majestic abilities, historical lineage, and his shared connection with the gods as a superior being- 

“Hmm? Well, I mean...your divinity is just another part of you. And I love all of you. So, it’s a given that I’d like that part as well.” Your fingers were now circling his budding nipples, whispering soothingly into his ear. “Now answer my question. Are you enjoying yourself or not?”  

And with that, his protective layers come crashing down, nipples throbbing from the friction of your rubbing fingers. You were doing this simply because you wanted to. Not for any hidden reasons, nor as a means to wrangle something from him; but purely out of a hunger to touch him all over. As an ambassador of pleasure in all of its forms, how could he not help but be moved by that? 

Head lolling to the side, as he grits his teeth to prevent any whimpers from escaping his mouth, Gilgamesh mumbles, “This is...not as bad as I anticipated it to be...”

Those caresses of yours that tactfully worked their way from his nipples to his entire chest, hypnotising his mind with your sumptuous motions...he hates to admit it, but this feels much better than he originally expected. 

In fact, a part of him wanted more; eager to see just how far you’d take things. But there was no way he’d give you even the slightest bit of satisfaction in confessing his arousal- not over his dead body- but then again, those massages of yours are quite a deadly antidote to his silence. 

“Gilgamesh, turn to the side.” What? Who do you think you are, to brazenly make demands of the king?! Frustration rises to his throat as he vows to knock you down a peg, only to be completely and utterly betrayed by his body, that spins in your direction as soon as you open your mouth. 

Pressing hot, flaming lips to his chest- his heart thudding like a sprinter about to reach the finish line- Gilgamesh's head rears back in ecstasy, only able to reprimand your boldness with an insignificant “Don’t order...your king...” He inwardly curses himself at the arousal seeping through him, threatening to utterly destroy any semblance of self-control. 

Hot breaths mingling with his searing chest, you mark his undulating muscles with passionate bites, proclaiming a love for that part of him as well.

“It’s comforting to listen to the pattering of your heart. Hehe, you really are cute right now, Gilgamesh.” Ending your exploration of his chest, you shuffle so that you’re face-to-face with him; his whirring crimson eyes at the same level as your determined ones. 

“M-mongrel...” Hands now running lines down his lean yet powerful arms, he is aghast. Just how many parts of him were you going to greedily desire? ‘What overwhelming tenacity...’ It was akin to his all-consuming will, his staunch belief in carrying things out until the very end.

Unsure of how long he’ll be able to hold out against you, his heart skips a beat. Who would be first to fall- his ego or your desire?  

‘I’m not sure I wish to find out.’ He definitely would be ignoring his clairvoyance tonight, for he didn’t want to know the outcome of this. 

Lifting those well-defined arms into your hands, you honour them with kisses. Those arms, that were both ferocious and kind; those peerless yet tenacious hands that would proudly grapple with anything in their midst. Taking his fingers into your mouth, you pay careful administration to them through amorous sucking and licking, warm saliva melding with his skin; as you fearlessly stare him in the eyes. 

A rush kicks up inside of him at such an unflinching gaze, fixated on your provocative moans, as your tongue voraciously tips his fingers to the back of your throat.

‘...!’ An audible gulp sounds from him, as he imagines your mouth taking in a part of him that was currently yearning for your touch- he's desperate to watch you choke on it, wishing to pummel it to the very depths of your throat- 

‘By the gods!!! I’m as virile as the morning dew!’ He can feel it, swelling and throbbing urgently for action. 

His cock is hard. 

As soon as you finally cease your torturous ministrations on his hand, cool air reaching a hand that was once feverish with your saliva, Gilgamesh hurriedly cries, “Instead of tending to my hands, another area is in much greater need of your assistance!” 

‘Wait, what?!’ Confused, you quizzically raise an eyebrow at his statement; surprised that he not only just admitted so openly to enjoying it, but now also craves for it to be done to another part of his body as well.

Delighted by this, a smug smile slowly works itself across your face; happy to hear some honesty from him for once. It was nothing short of a miracle, compared to the usual indirect riddles he tended to bemuse you with.  

“What’s that? Did you enjoy it that much?” 

‘Guh!’ Embarrassment washes through him, your proud smile alerting him to his loss. He had just done the unspeakable, by alerting you to his arousal!

Desperate to recover his usual tone of indifference, he trips and stutters over his words. “I-It’s the height of foolishness to perform such acts on my hand, when they could much better serve my golden phallus instead.” It was so hard to get the words out of his mouth, especially when you were stroking his torso so enticingly. 

“Oh? You mean this?” Hand hovering over his leopard-print, budgie-smuggling underwear, you draw faint lines down his bulging cock, mercilessly teasing him. “Wow, that’s some really flashy underwear...” His daring fashion taste never ceased to amaze you. 

“Y-you tempestuous...fiend...” Were you trying to kill him by refusing to tend to his cock, paying such delicate attention to his pelvis instead? How cruel, for you to vex him so! “Mongrel, tend to my cock...stop this absurdity at once!” 

“Sorry, Gilgamesh. Let me taste all of your bountiful beauty first.” Hoisting his legs- that he can barely move due to the electrifying impulses running through his body at every touch- you tenderly kiss at his weaker spots, such as his inner thighs, marvelling in their gallant form. ‘He definitely never skipped leg day.’ 

“This is the height of folly- ah...” Did a moan just slip from his mouth?! It couldn’t be- it must’ve just been a groan of frustration. “Listen...to me...” Hips unconsciously bucking and rolling from the sensitive reverberations of your deep kisses against his skin, he concentrates the very last vestiges of his will into a cry of, “Mongrel! P-please...” 

“Eh?!!” Instantly snapping your head up, your mouth gawped in horror. ‘Did he just say PLEASE?!!’

Now both of you were feeling incredibly bashful. As the owner of the prototype of everything in the world, Gilgamesh could have anything he wanted within a snap of his fingers. For him to say ‘please’ was mind-boggling; as unusual as a giraffe deciding to make a living in Antarctica. 

‘Oh my gosh...oh wow...’ Struggling to conceal the joy of hearing such words, you instinctively clap your hands to your mouth, eyes wide with disbelief. As you take in his tomato-red complexion and sheepish expression, it finally dawns upon you how much your dynamic is starting to change. 

Avoiding the hope glimmering within your eyes, Gilgamesh ducks his face as far away from you as possible; concealing it behind his hands. “I... I wish to feel your hands against my length. Desire it, even.” Never in a million years did he think that things would come to this, that his ego would be dashed so bitterly to the ground in the face of such overwhelmingly enticing pleasure. 

“Mongrel...enchant me with that sorcery of yours. Right until the very end.”  

“Gilgamesh...” Lovingly pressing your lips against his own, another moan sounds from this throat. “How could I ever say no to such honest words? Your wish is my command.” Gently looping his underwear from his body, a golden light begins to filtrate the room, dazzling in its intensity. 

‘Ah.’ Your mind momentarily blanks for a second. ‘I forgot that his dick is like a golden lightsabre.’ Oh well. Lightsabre or not, it belonged to the king of your heart, and by damn were you going to lather it with as much affection as possible.

“W-wow, I forgot how shiny your dick is.” Gently taking it into your hands, you began to massage it; as Gilgamesh meekly loops his arms around your neck. 

“Of course...my AUO Cast-Off is second to none- ah!” Craning his neck back, he whines as your grip becomes firmer on his cock, playing it like a fiddle. 

“Haha, of course. You really are one heck of a guy, Gilgamesh.” As your warm chuckles send warmth jolting through his heart, Gilgamesh begins to worry that he’s falling for your charm. “Hey, Gilgamesh. Let’s get a little closer. Wrap your legs around mine.” 

“...You really are...a greedy mongrel...” Despite his words, he obediently obliges with your demands, secretly delighting in the intimacy of such a close position. 

“And you really are a stubborn king.” Breaths ghosting upon each other’s faces, lust flickers ferociously from inside of you as well- but you push it aside to dedicate all pleasure towards him instead. “You’re so strong-willed, sticking so steadfastly to your own ideals.” 

“Hah...that is...without a doubt...” Fully yielding to the warmth of your touch, the ticklish sensation of your palms rubbing against his testicles harden him to a maddening degree. He can barely reply. “That is...what separates beast...from man...” 

“Mn, I know. You’ve scolded me with those words enough times for me to remember them by heart.” Pumping your hands against his increasingly throbbing cock, you kiss him on the lips again- only for it return it so tenderly that you wonder whether he’s been replaced by a clone or alter ego. 

“Ah, shit...kissing me like that isn’t fair. My heart’s going to explode with love at this rate, Gilgamesh...” It should be illegal for such an arrogant man to have such an adorable side! “The more sides you show to me, the deeper I’ll fall, you know?!” 

“That was my intention...” Despite his flushed cheeks and heaving breaths, he still has the gall to wink mischievously at you- even whilst moaning from the thrust of your hands against his cock. “Fall...as deep as you like...mongrel...I’ll be there to catch you in my arms...” 

“W-wow, I never expected to hear that...” Excitably pressing up against him, a deep whine escapes his mouth from the delectable tension of feeling your body against his own, as your heart swells with affection.  

“From the bottom of my heart, I love you. I want to grow to understand you to the best of my ability, no matter how long it takes.” As he takes in the sincerity of your eyes; blazing with heartfelt emotions, he softly laughs. 

“...Is that so...don’t get cocky...your puny mind...cannot comprehend such greatness...”   

“We’ll have to see about that. Don’t go underestimating puny minds, King of Heroes.” As you move backwards to take in his cock, head bobbing as you ravenously devour it; he finally submits himself fully to the pleasure- mist clouding his vision as his body coils, unleashing a massive release of semen... 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. 

‘Ah, so that’s what occurred.’ Sighing blissfully, as the relaxing waves of the bathwater soak into his weary bones, Gilgamesh hums with appreciation as you continue to massage his scalp.

He was too far gone to care about how humiliating it felt for his indomitable exterior to be ripped away by your ‘body worship’, deeming it to be a rather worthwhile endeavor in the end.  

Meanwhile, you were currently dumbstruck; shocked by how unguarded he was being around you. Currently leaning his head against your chest, eyes closed as if he hadn’t a care in the world- you were almost certain that this was none other than a reality marble. It had to be- for there was no way that he’d act like this in reality! 

‘I mean, he’s never like this.’ In the past, he’d be the one attempting to call all the shots on who went where in the bath, the two of you debating over who deserved the best position. ‘Who is this man, and what has he done with that pompous king? Will I ever be able to see this side of him again?’ Mindlessly threading your hands through his damp locks of hair, you look to the sky for guidance- only to be distracted by Gilgamesh lifting a wet arm to gently touch your face. 

“Gilgamesh?!” That sharp bite had all but disappeared from his eyes, softening as soon as you look down to meet his own.  

“What afflicts you, to be gazing so forlornly towards the sky?” 

“A-ah, well...I...” There was no point in lying to him now; especially not after the sheer determination it took to reach this level of communication in the first place. “I’m feeling somewhat overwhelmed. I’m really happy that I finally got the chance to tell you how I feel, but...” Clenching your jaw as a searing jolt of melancholy strikes your heart; you sigh. 

“...I just wish I had enough memory space to save it all.” To reduce him to a quivering pile, hear such earnest pleads from his mouth and actually communicate for once during sex-it'd be a shame if such events were never to occur again. ‘I don’t want to relive those isolating nights...’ 

On the other hand, Gilgamesh had been suppressing an ensuing tide of laughter; the force of his rancorous howls of laughter almost splashing you out of the bath. “Fuhahaha! How pitiful, to lament yourself over such a miniscule issue!”  

He splashes his feet hard enough to drench your face in water. “Haha, ‘wish I had enough memory space’ you say? What amusing candour!” Mocking the forlorn tone of your voice, he appears to be clearly pleased with himself. 

“Don’t make light of my feelings, damnit!” Your glare has the opposite effect, as he wheezes like a gas pipe- clutching his sides for dear life. “It genuinely means the world to me.”

If only you could plug a USB Stick into your brain to preserve these memories for life. 

Wiping tears from his eyes, his dulcet tones shift towards a more affectionate hue. “It does for me as well. Therefore, you should regain that spirited countenance of yours. Who says that these memories have to be our very last?” 

“Huh...?” Warmth radiates from within your soul at these words. 

“I shall permit you to express yourself to the utmost around me from now on, mongrel. To return to the previous stature of things would be nothing but a bore.” Coughing lightly, he instinctively looks away from the mirth pooling within your eyes. Your adulation for this king were like fine gems adorning his body, ones that never wished to part from. 

“That’s...that’s great news!” Holding him within your arms, you grin. “I’ll be in your care from now on as well, Gilgamesh!” Who knows, maybe one day he’d eventually lower his walls as well. Until that day, you were happy to continue taking baby steps along this momentous journey. 

‘Hoh...I could get used to this.’ Nestling himself within your arms, he was rapidly adjusting to your touch; comforted by your presence. However, his earlier claims that you’d never be able to ‘impact his unconquerable self’ or ‘ignite even a modicum of arousal inside of him’ return to his mind with an ugly vengeance, reminding him of how dreadfully erroneous his assumptions had come to be. 

“...Mongrel.” As you beam at him with glowing eyes, guilt begins to blossom in his chest; recounting all of the malicious insults and verbose attacks he had hurled at you as a feeble means to protect his pride. “I have sorely underestimated your capabilities, and for that, I must apologise.” 

‘HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!’ Did Gilgamesh just apologise?! The being who trod upon words such as politeness and courtesy- as if they were mere dirt under his shoes- had just said sorry?

At first it seemed completely surreal, until you remember the many blistering words that he had attempted to slander you with tonight.  

An awkward silence booms between you both, stunned speechless by his change of heart- until he all but squawks, “Mongrel, do not leave me hanging here! Answer me at once!”  

“Err...I-it’s about time you apologised! I get that it’s embarrassing to let somebody else take charge for once, but there was no need to go so far!” His expression relaxes again at your scolding tone, as if he wanted to be told off.

Truth be told, you had been so swept up in pleasure that you were able to ignore his words- but still. There was no need for him to be such an asshole.  

“I was so eager to oppose you, that I resorted to acting as the devil’s advocate to hinder your courageous advances. I shall reflect henceforth.” There would be less dishonesty from now on, him vowing to encourage your efforts instead. 

“You better reflect as much as possible! You can be so annoying sometimes...” 

“Yet you still love me regardless.” A smug smirk works its way across his face from that. “Now which one of us does that make a fool, I wonder?” 

“Both of us, of course.” Tenderly rubbing your noses against one another’s- as you lean down on him from above-the two of you make an unspoken vow; to move forwards together, hand-in-hand.  

What was once an inequal throne now had enough room for two. 

Savouring the bliss of your skin against his own, Gilgamesh lets out an appreciative hum. If this was the price of letting himself go, then so be it- 

Oh.  

So that’s why you were meandering endlessly about openness, expression, love and the like. A truly mischievous glint lights up within those carmine eyes; devious thoughts encircling his mind. 

So there really was something that you desired from him after all....as the king of those ministrations, he’d ensure to lavishly pay you back in kind. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. 

“...?!” It all happens within a split second. One moment you were indulging within a comforting nose kiss, only then to be nimbly flipped onto the bath-floor- your positions now reversed.

Straddling you between his thighs, drops of water drip from his skin; the rippling waves of the bathwater serving as the only accompanying noise to such a sudden twist of fate. 

“G-Gilgamesh, what’s going on-!!” It was unfair, for him to embrace you so passionately; your hands desperately clasping at his back. 

“I’ve finally fathomed your needs. What you wish for is for me to wax lyric on your splendid form, confessing naught but the genuine truth. Judging on your insistence on honesty and vulnerability, there is no doubt about it.” Pausing from the kiss, pride fills his features at finally uncovering one of your weak spots. It seems as if he’s starting to understand you as well. 

‘Whoa...did he just read my mind?’ The accuracy of his deduction was flustering, to say the least. “How could you tell...?” 

“This display of yours made it infinitely obvious to find out. It’s impossible to get anything past one as peerless as I!” By this time, he was becoming closer, lowering himself until he was but a hair’s breadth away. 

“Haha, I really can’t pull one over you, can I?” Relishing in the sensation of his hands skirting themselves up your thighs, you sigh. “Alright, I give. I’d love that...please. I want to hear your words.” 

“Of course. What kind of king would I be if I wasn’t to reward you in kind for such pleasing devotion? I’ll permeate your very essence with my affections, so that you’ll never question your value in my eyes ever again. I am well and truly besotted with you, mongrel...” 

His vows shone like a glittering canopy of stars within the night sky, never to be broken. 

THE END 

[bakubabes-tatakae]

Mmm Renji returning from a long stint in the Living World. It’s been a couple of months and when he comes through that door, you can tell by the look in his eyes and the way he licks his lips that he’s starving - and you are a fucking buffet.

Looking forward to seeing the fantasies that our long, tall glass of Shinigami gets for his bday. 💋

There's so much to come for him. I'm hoping that I can fit all the things that I want to put out for him in today. ❤

The amount of pent up, sexual frustration that this man is already going to have when he steps through that door. And the second he sees you sitting on the couch... it's all over for you. You aren't sleeping that night.

The entire last week of his mission had been pure hell. It had been three months since he had been home and he was beyond prepared to get the hell back to the Seireitei and to see you. So when the front door of the apartment you shared came into view and he was able to physically touch the door handle he was nearly frothing at the mouth.

You hadn't even realized that he was returning, you had expected him in another few weeks. Captain Kuchiki had said that it would be a little while longer. You heard the front door open, it had been locked so the only way in would have been with a key, and looked up quickly. Only two other people have a key, Renji, and your best friend, Rangiku.

You started to stand from the couch, calling out as you did. "Rangiku, is that you?"

Before you could get off the couch you heard a chuckle. "Wrong person." You looked up and felt your excitement grow, was he really home this early?

Renji stepped toward you, the small fire in his eyes growing as he got closer and closer to you. "You know how long I've been gone, right? You know what that does to a man, right?"

Your eyes widened as you saw the hunger in him growing, his hands gripping your waist. The look of your wet hair hanging at your shoulder, your tank top and booty shorts that you always wore after a shower accentuating your curves just the way he craved it. You laughed as his lips pressed to your necks. "Renji..."

He ignored you, grabbing the bottom of your shirt. "Shhhh, I need this."

Your shirt easily lifted over your head, his hands sliding up your chest, gripping your breasts tightly, no bra in his way as he found his favorite place on your body. Renji gripped your hips again and lifted you from the floor, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you down the hallway.

As you reached the bedroom he tossed you onto the bed, crawling over you with hungry eyes. He looked like an animal stalking its prey as he gripped the waistband of your shorts. He tugged them from your legs and sat up, pulling his t-shirt from his torso and tossing it to the side with your shorts.

His hands pressed against your inner thighs, pushing them apart, his breath now warm on your legs. "I've been craving this pretty little pussy since the day after I left. It's time for me to finally have what I've been craving."

You hadn't even had time to say anything to him before his fingers pushed your panties to the side, teasing your folds before his tongue made its appearance.

The intensity that he moved with made you cry out, Renji devoured his meal with pleasure as he felt your hand sink into his hair, pulling softly. His tongue flicked your clit as your thighs tightened around his head. "Oh fuck, Renj."

He chuckled against your heat, sending vibrations through your body. "Crush my head, doll. If it's how I go out, it's how it was meant to. Don't be afraid."

Thirst Hours Are 24/7 😈

[nahoyagf]

Heyy bestiee it's me again your boiiii. Can I request for jealous sex with mitsuya 🥺😳

I've been thinking about thus since yesterday babe pls, i just want to have a boyfie like MITSUYAAAA.

When mitsuya is jealous i see him as the kinda of person who'll do everything silently and sexily y'know what i mean boo. Like his eyes will never leave yours while doing you. Tease you so you'll think of him. Give you bites and marks so you'll know who you belongs to.

Okay thats it from my dirty dirty little mind about mitsuya. I swear I'm simp to much over him. No regrets tho 😳

Of course you can ignore this if its not your cup of tea. Thank youuu so much for letting me request again, hope you're not bored anymore 😌 stay healthy my boo

a/n: first of all, i love ur energy bestie<3 second of all, ofc! ngl this is the first smut i’ve written so i hope it’s not trash lol tysm for requesting bae

drunk { mitsuya x reader }

warnings: nsfw, creampie, roughness (ish), fem! reader

it was never supposed to end up this way.

your face squished up against the cool tile of the bathroom wall. two large hands grabbing at the underneath of your thigh as well as the softness of your chest. the sound of skin slapping filled the room but the outside noise of music and talking overweighted it.

this was just meant to be a fun houseparty. hakkai had invited you guys and of course, you accepted. it was pretty unneventful for the first few hours. just dancing and laughter and drinks.

but the mood changed when hakkai had one too many drinks.

“i think i... i think i need to go- outside” he said through hiccups and slurs. you looked at him with concern painted over your features. if you were being honest, he was quite the lightweight and the bet between him and mitsuya to see who could handle the most shots certainly wasn’t helping him.

mitsuya reached for him but you were quicker to your feet.

“i’ll help you, c’mon” you said, your voice soft and sweet. mitsuya, who wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or not, raised an eyebrow at the tone. noticing how your hands petted hakkai’s hair and back. and in his drunken stupor, reached out blindly. hands grabbing at your thighs or face or chest. he was touching you all over, yet you were too worried about him to really make a fuss over it.

“t-thank you.... you’re so nice. too nice for mitsuya.” hakkai giggled, obviously just being a drunken idiot. but the mitsuya the words lit a fire in his belly.

you got hakkai outside, sitting him on the front porch and going back inside to find mitsuya.

“can we take-“

“come with me. i need your help.”

mitsuya grabbed your wrist with a newly found strength and started pulling your through the crowds of people. not bothering to apologize for ramming right through them. you were confused what was so urgent, maybe he spilt something on his shirt and wanted help cleaning it?

he pulled you into the small bathroom, shutting the door but not bothering to lock it.

“what are you-“

you didn’t get a response other than an icy glare that cut you off. the clink of his belt caught your ears. you were about to tell him that you needed to get hakkai home, when he gripped your face. his lips meeting yours with such urgency and desire that is overwhelmed you. mitsuya was normally so delicate with you, like you were fine china.

he lifted you onto the counter, pulling off your panties from under your skirt. he ran his finger along your slit, feeling how wet it was. this only caused him to face you with a glare.

“his little grope sesh made you like this, huh? you like being touched like that? you want that?”

you couldn’t respond from his grip on your face, but you tried to shake your head no. honestly, the alchohol had gotten to you. while it’s a pain in the ass, anytime you get a drink in your system it seems to mess with your horomones the most.

he pulled down his boxers about halfway down his thighs. revealing his thick cock. to be honest, you and mitsuya had only done the deed about twice. if you exclude the few sloppy make outs you’ve had. the girth of it and the slight curve always scared you, plus he never made it really obvious when he wanted to take it farther. a complete contrast from his actions tonight.

he rubbed it up and down your slit, lips moving toward your neck. his breath was hot and smelled like the blue raspberry vodka that he had been drinking earlier. the kisses were soft as first, gentle and graceful just like they normally were. but eventually they began to grow into bites and nibbles, his teeth grazing along your jaw line.

you let out a low whimper. his hand reaching down to your clit. the movements where slow but well thought out and effective, his fingers working wonders on you. he tilted his face up to yours, eyes peering at your expressions as you came apart.

perhaps it was the alchohol or maybe it was his sudden mood, but something made you extra sensitive. every touch had you moaning or letting out little gasps. he smirked at this, smirked at how good he was making you feel.

“please. please...p-put it in.” you whimpered out, his eyes dancing up to yours.

there was no answer, except for the hot press of his lips against yours and then finally, finally he pushed through the rim of your walls. bottoming out in one go. the stretch burned, but in the best way. tears rimmed near your waterline, your hands gripping his shoulders as he brought himself up to full height.

“fuck.” he groaned out, it was quiet but throaty. the slight raspyness in his voice from having to yell over the music. he rested his head between the juncture of your neck and your shoulder. his eyes looked up, being met with his own reflection in the mirror. it was then that he got the reminder of what had set him off earlier, brows furrowing. he remembered your giggles and your caring eyes. the way you touched him and the way you let him touch you.

he snapped his hips back only to pound back into you. each thrust increasing in vigor and power. you slipped your hands from his shoulder to his back. crying out little “slow down” and “stop” here and there but all went unheard by your boyfriend.

he lifted you from the counter, flipping you over and pinning you against the wall. your face pressed so hard into the tile that it hurt, but his mouth began pressing kisses to your neck again that it distracted from the pain. he lifted your thigh and began hitting you at the perfect spot. the spongy bundle of nerves let out burts of white hot pleasure everytime he kissed it with his tip.

“mitsu! i’m gonna- i’m gonna, fuck, cum” you could hardly form a sentence with his pace. the man only groaned out, nearing his end as well.

you felt the coil finally snap, walls clenching and hands scratching into the wall. you let out a cry and felt the pace only pick up as he gave you no time to break.

his breathing was heavier and his mouth kept biting at your soft flesh. the smalls nips of pain keeping you awake. finally, the man behind you let out a low groan that got more high pitched and breathy as his thrusts slowed. finally he stilled, still groaning, and spilt hot ropes of seed into you. giving shallow thrusts every now and then. he breathed out and then pulled himself from inside of you. catching your body as you slumpt to the floor.

he helped you lay down, propping up against the wall. his hands massaged your body slightly, lips letting out small words of praise and affection. his fingers found their way back to your sore hole and pushed the stick cum back inside. he leaned over you, lips meeting your forehead.

“you okay, baby?” his voice was so much softer. caring and full of love.

you could only nod and allow him to help you stand. he wrapped an arm around your waist and you slid your head onto his shoulder.

“let’s take that idiot home.”

[mid-weast]

Will you keep it down? | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You and Jungkook attend the same university and have been neighbors for 3 months now. It drives you crazy that he plays loud music at 2AM, and it drives him crazy that you barely acknowledge his presence.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female!Reader; Black!Reader

Words: 2.6K

Genre: enemies to lovers, student!jungkook, student!reader, fluff, mention of smut, angst? (in the form of bickering back and forth).

Authors note: Hi hi! This is the first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also it is unedited so if there's grammar / spelling mistakes I'm sorry again! Also this is catered toward the reader being Black but I hope it can be enjoyed by everyone. Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated ok love u bye!

“Y/N? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!? Open this door RIGHT NOW!”

Even though you were studying in your room, his knocks were so loud you nearly jumped out of your skin. You had expected a reaction, but not a full-on explosion.

You and Jungkook have been apartment neighbors for about three months now, and a constant problem is that he blares his music hella loud late at night. Of course he’s a music major so he listens to music a lot, but at this point you don’t care. It doesn’t even seem like he’s working on composition homework anyway, just being an asshole with no regard for his neighbors peace. Now don’t get yourself wrong, you're not just some uptight bitch who complains about everything. Well, you do have several pet peeves but over the years of going to school in Korea you’ve picked and chosen your battles very wisely. In most cases you let things slide. You wouldn’t care at all about someone playing the music loudly, but it is 2 AM, and while you’re up studying you know a lot of your other neighbors are trying to sleep.

You tiptoe toward your front door and twist the knob slowly. You only open the door wide enough to be able to see his face. It’s not that you’re scared that you’re in danger or anything, and you rarely back down from people giving you a hard time. But you were tired, wearing a big ass t- shirt and short shorts (your regular sleep attire), and it was late at night. So if anything was going to pop off you felt pretty vulnerable. Even though you’re the same age, he towers over you and you find his size kinda intimidating.

As usual, you have to crane your neck to see his face, and your view of him is limited by the narrowness in which

you opened the door.

“Can I help you, lil boy?”

From what you can see of him, right away you can tell that he is pissed. Dawning his usual attire of a black sweatshirt with the hood up, black sweats, and stomp a hoe boots, he stood extremely close to your apartment door with his arms crossed. His usually wide, puppy dog eyes are now pressed in narrow slits. His normally pouty lips are formed in a hard line, and his jaw is so clenched you could carve an ice sculpture with his jawline.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You called the cops on me? Are you INSANE???" Jungkook shouts.

Obviously he's mad, and despite the amount of times you've gone back and forth he's never raised your voice at you. The old you would have screamed back at him, but over time you've tried to respond to anger with calmness. Also, you were a little scared because this mf is kind of big.

"I already told you if you keep blaring your music at 2AM, I was going to do something about it!" You respond in a hushed whisper, slightly concerned that your elderly neighbors will be even more disturbed by the noise. "I've told you this a million times, and you barely do anything about it. If anything, it's gotten worse like you're doing it on purpose. People are trying to sleep and I'm trying to study, why is this so hard for you to understand?"

He sucks his teeth. "You're such a little snitch. And I've already told YOU that YOU can't tell me what to do."

"I know I can't...but they can," you nod toward the exit, referring to the police officers that most likely just left out that way with a tiny smirk growing on your face.

If it was possible, he clenched his jaw even harder and you think that he's going to pop a blood vessel. He pushes his way into your apartment, which sends you stumbling back and you grab the door handle to regain your balance. This causes you to close the door shut.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"

He steps right up to you and leans down into your face.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, seriously??? Why are you such an annoying little brat? Just because you're a nerd with no friends who gets no play doesn't mean you can take your bitterness out on me.”

You have to laugh in his face at this point because hello??? First of all, who is he talking to? Second of all, you have told him a BUNCH of times to turn his music down late at night. You didn't think that was too much to ask. As far as you were concerned, being aware of your noise level when you live in an apartment is the universal bare minimum for being a human being.

"ME? Who do you think YOU are? Actually let me tell you. You're an entitled little rich boy who thinks he runs the world. I don't give a fuck about how popular you are on campus, how many people fall at your feet to be around you, and how many hoes you have, you cant talk to ME like that. And how are you going to try and tell me about myself when it's too much of a task for you to be a decent neighbor? I've never done anything to blatantly bother you, so why can you just.." You started to panic because usually when you raise your voice out of anger, your voice cracks and tears threaten to pool out of your eyes, but you tried to get a grip and not back down..."why can you just be nice to me so we can live in peace? Is that too hard for you???"

He looked kind of taken aback by your question. Being nice to you? It never crossed his mind. Also, you kind of had a point. When the semester started and you both moved in on the same day, you would shoot him a small, friendly smile in passing but you never seemed interested in getting to know him. He always wondered why that was. It's not that he had a problem talking with girls, since all he had to do was breathe and girls would come flocking around him, but you would flat out ignore him. Even at all the major parties at the beginning of the year and on Thursday nights when students take over the clubs in the city, you'd barely even acknowledge him. He KNEW that you had seen him too, since you would make eye contact, but you acted like he was just another guy at the club.

And he'd be lying if he said you weren't fine. You had thick thighs, a beautiful face, nice curves, and always wore outfits that hugged you in the right places. He always wondered what it would feel like to wrap his arms around your body and press it against his own. He would constantly sneak peaks of you throughout the night at the club, but something stirred in him when he saw that you were chatting up other guys. Was he...jealous? Jealous that you were so eager to pay attention to these dudes who, in his opinion, were decent looking but they were nowhere near his level, and you never even gave him a second thought? One night he even saw you leaving with a man he knew through mutual friends, and he had to physically stop himself from breaking the glass he was holding, because that guy, while objectively handsome, was nothing compared to him. Jungkook wasn't blatantly cocky, but he let his talent, charm, and looks speak for themselves. He was THEE Jeon Jungkook, and nothing ever really bothered him....except you.

Was he....interested in you? Nah, that can't be it. You were some random chick who happened to be his neighbor, who also is one of the only girls he's met that doesn't give two fucks about even having small talk with him, and that infuriated him for some reason. So the first time you came knocking on his door in an adorable pink satin pajama set with a matching bonnet complaining about his loud music, he knew the game he had to play.

He's still standing over you, centimeters away from you face, but you notice that his eyes soften a little and so does his jaw. He unclenches the fists he was holding crossed against his chest

You continue, “I don't care what you do, and I'm DEFINITELY trying to run your messy ass life. Believe me," you scoff, "you don't have enough money to pay me to do that. But when your dickhole behavior fucks with MY life is when it's a problem. And it's BEEN a problem."

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, little girl, maybe I should call you little mouse now, since now I know that you'll go squeaking to the cops now, don't fuck with me or my music again.”

Without moving your head you look him up and down with a confused expression. "Am I supposed to be scared of you? No seriously, you look like you cry during Disney movies while wearing footie pajamas, and now here you are throwing a fit because I forced you to stop bothering the entire wing with your music?"

Girl...what are you saying??? This man just barged into YOUR place, is in your face, and is strong enough to pick you up and throw you, and you’re insulting him? But you figured if he's going to be rude, you'll throw it right back because you're tired of his bullshit.

Whatever softness he was feeling for a fleeting moment immediately left, and annoyance once again washed over. He straightens up a bit and puts on that annoying confident smirk he wears when he thinks he's won arguments between you two.

"You should be nicer to me, all it will take is for me to tweet one thing about you, and you'll be the most hated person on campus."

At this point, any suspicions that you had about him annoying you on purpose were confirmed. You've concluded that this mf is a bully and you, small and shy but not one to take mess, will put him in his place to-motherfucking-night.

You take a step toward him, now crossing your arms tightly against your chest, but he doesn't even move a hair backwards.

"Clearly you need a rude awakening so here it is. I don't know what type of people you've dealt with all your life, always saying yes to you, letting you boss them around and taking whatever bullshit you dish out, but let me tell you I am not the one. Never have been and never will be. Unlike the other fools around here who cream their pants at the mention of your name, I don't care about who you are. You'll respect ME and MY peace as long as we're neighbors, you get me?"

Now y/n, you have never so boldly stood up to someone, where did that come from, babes? You've tried to not let this entitled little boy get to you this whole time, but with him standing in front of you in the middle of your apartment with that extremely annoying, yet handsome, smirk on his face, and after all the crap he's said tonight, he had you all the way fucked up.

After you said that, he just laughed and looked away. Now you’re standing there fuming and confused...was there a joke you missed? You were being dead serious!

"Something funny?" you ask, narrowing your eyes.

"Nothing, just thinking about how I want to face fuck that annoying little mouth of yours so you finally shut up.”

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. You've never had a guy say something so blatantly rude and vulgar literally inches away from your face. But again, you weren't going to back down.

"Oh really?" Scoffing and tilting your head to the side a bit while narrowing your eyes even more, "I'd very much like to do the same. Maybe then you'll learn your place."

"Oh please, princess, you probably blanch when someone around you even mentions the word sex." He chuckles and leans down close toward your face again and cocks his head to the side, scrunching his nose and in a pouty voice said, "you're fooling no one, but keep trying, maybe you'll get there.”

You're even more annoyed than you were before, if that was even possible. But if he wanted to play this game, you might as well go there with him. It's true, you were a bit more prudent than more, but it pissed you off that he could tell. Regardless, you do know some things to say that could have him leaving with his tail between his legs.

You pouted your lips and in a babying tone said, “Aww sweetheart you have no idea. You think you're big and bad but like I said, you probably cry watching Disney movies. The same way you'd be crying, begging me to let you cum down my throat as I mercilessly toy with your cock for hours.”

Now it's his turn to go pale. Y/n, his stuck up neighbor who has barely even spared him five seconds of her time just threatened to edge him into submission? He has to pinch himself because he must be dreaming....

“Well I-“

“But I don't even think we’d make it that far, hun” you continue, “because in order to humble your egotistical, disrespectful ass, I'm gonna have to ride your face until you suffocate. And when the paramedics come and I have to explain how you died, I won't even hesitate to tell them that you were a punk ass loser who LITERALLY drowned in my pussy!”

You don’t know who this person speaking is, but it is not you. All of the pent up hostility you’ve held towards him just flooded out of you and you couldn’t stop the words from coming out. To be honest you shocked yourself, but you still stood there with your arms crossed and your face unfaltering, just waiting for him to say something smart back.

He stared at you silently, eyes wider than you’ve seen before and his mouth hung slightly open. He wasn’t expecting you to respond with so much fire, but now he wouldn’t be able to sleep until the image you painted came true. His brain said fuck it, and his lips crashed down onto yours. The kiss is sloppy but passionate, and you swore you heard him quietly whimper.

When he feels you starting to kiss back, he smirks into the kiss. Your lips are moving against each other in tandem, and all thoughts about how much you despise the prick fades away. As you uncrossed your arms and placed them on his chest, you could feel his heart beating wildly. Was he as nervous as you were this whole time? You wonder. You knew he was a player, so he was experienced. But the thought that you made him nervous gave you a tiny confidence boost. His hands slowly slide up the sides of your body to sneak behind your back, to pull you further into his chest. As much as your brain was telling you to resist him and push him away, you couldn't help but fall victim to how soft his lips felt against yours. Suddenly you feel airborne as he swiftly reaches down behind your thighs and picks you up. You instinctively gasp but he doesn’t miss a beat, simply biting your lower lip and locking your lips together again.

“Maybe we should test that scenario of yours, and if it comes true, that wouldn’t be the worst way for me to go” he says, doing that annoying but soul-crushingly handsome smirk he likes to wear as he carries you off to your bedroom.