#since it’s the Parker clones who get their own comic books

[scarletspider2the2ndpower]

“After Life,” Scarlet Spider (Vol. 2/2012), #2.

Writer: Christopher Yost; Penciler : Ryan Stegman; Inker: Michael Babinsky; Colorist: Marte Garcia; Letterer: Joe Caramagna

[dw-flagler]

this post is literally just me complaining about an obscure spider man spinoff comic from 2006 for like a thousand words. Don't read it. I'm serious.

So i read the series amazing spider-girl because i was on a spider kick. I didn't want to go to theaters to watch across the spiderverse so i'm waiting on a dvd release or something that would allow me to watch it for no money and still get that nice and crisp 1080p.

So i read amazing spider-girl. It was a lot better than I was expecting. Not, you know, legendarily good. But better than you'd think for a comic spinoff starring a girl in 2006. and here's the kicker. It wasn't ultra hypersexualized. Amazing W for american comic books compared to japanese manga.

(Also a couple issues were about mutants as a classic comic paper-thin metaphor for being gay (one issue was quite literally titled The Closet) that was, again, surprisingly good. Again, not great, but like way better than you'd expect from a product of its time and culture)

And then I got to the spider-girl equivalent of the clone saga. It was actually pretty neat. There's just one clone, and it never actually comes out and says who the clone is. So there's two May Parkers now. One is a clone and one isn't, big identity crisis dealie (and actually there's this abandoned idea where they both end up with both sets of memories at the same time and now they don't know whos the clone or who was the one raised by the parkers and who was left in a french tube for 16 years). Neat. then peter becomes the green goblin for a minute and they fight A Battle In The Mind Palace, which is weird but fine. (Oddly, the green goblin is way more accepting of the concept of having two daughters than peter. He even calls peter out on it?)

But then we get to the fun part. Both of the Mays survive, and one of them, who we're gonna call April (even though she doesn't name herself that for a few issues after this) for simplicity's sake, has cool symbiote powers, was basically born yesterday, and doesn't quite understand the concept of empathy. In other words, a home run character. She's even fucking Blue! Fucking bang up job, lads, we got an all time classic!

And then we get to that classic angst. Like i said earlier, peter is not on board with the concept of having two daughters. But may is like "can we keep her?" and the other options are letting an emotionally unstable Blue girl out into the world unsupervised (unacceptable) or just... i dunno, killing her? So clearly he has to keep april in his house. He fuckin hates her for it though. Like shit dude, the unearned hostility. And may is trying (not quite as hard as she could be but trying nonetheless) to give april a normal-adjacent home life and a loving family (something that I believe all humans freshly spawned from french tubes deserve). MJ's sorta in the middle, doing that token mom thing of being like "yeah!" and then not actually doing anything to help. So april is stuck in this loop of a family that at best tolerates her and at worst actively despises her (and since she has memories from may she's watching the family she remembers loving her for her whole life doing this to her). In fact, she chooses her name out of spite because she feels like everyone sees her as an inferior copy of the girl they actually care about (april comes before may).

I mean, this is great. You've really what looks to be a great character. So I was utterly devastated to learn that she Goes Insane From The Stress and becomes a villain. However, she Learns The Value Of Love later on and sacrifices herself to save may in a typical comic redemption arc.

:(

So, normally, if you don't like how a thing went in a popular story (especially something modern), you could reasonably expect to see some people agree with you. Some of them might even be good writers. That's when the magic happens. So I look on Archive Of Our Own, and what do I find, dear reader--what do I find? Nothing.

Worse than nothing, actually, I find several father-daughter incest smut fics.

(To be fair, actually, I found one fic that covered some of this, but that was like 1k words long.)

In conclusion, shit is wack.

[traincat]

Disregard my last ask because the latest issue raised a troubling question that I, as a black man, feel the need to clarify with you, a woman. That whole whole Ned Leeds/Betty Brant business is sexual assault via deception right? Like you know more about Clones and Spider-Man 616 than I but I feel like that’s besides the point because it happened to Betty. She is carrying the child of whom she thought was her dead ex-husband. And Ned clone has to know he is a clone. He has to know. Unlike Ben and Kaine, he has the awareness and information of the Jackal and the awareness of his progenitor’s death.

Or am I reaching too far and reading too far into things?

I'm glad you came back and asked this specific question because it's definitely something I have a lot of thoughts on, and I’m glad you asked my thoughts on it as a woman because I think this is one of those comic book storylines that’s hard for me to divorce that fact from -- the fact that I’m a woman definitely plays into how I view this storyline specifically and how it effects me, in ways I don’t think were necessarily intended by some of the writers involved in its ongoing arc who were not looking at things from the same perspective I’m coming at them from. I definitely don't think you're reaching or reading too far into things -- I think that is what's being presented on the page, albeit likely without authorial intent. Just as like a general disclaimer, I'm not closely following Spencer's run for the sheer reason that I'm not enjoying it very much, although I'm aware of the general directions it's taking through friends and social media. But I actually think this Betty/Ned issue goes back pretty far.

First things first, I think Clone Conspiracy really wreaked havoc on how Spider-Man as a series has always handled clones. Pre-Clone Conspiracy, there was a very clear clone narrative going on: clones are their own person, they are not direct copies or replacements of the original. You see this with Ben Reilly and you see it with the Gwen Stacy clones. Clones are treated as their own individuals, even if they have to struggle to get to that point -- there's even an issue of Spider-Man Unlimited where Ben and Betty go on a date. Betty doesn't know that Ben is Peter's clone -- he's introduced as his cousin -- and they both reflect on how you can't go back to the way things were. So even though Ben has all of Peter's memories regarding his initial romance with Betty, the narrative makes it clear that Ben and Betty cannot recapture that connection or that exact relationship.

Here's where Clone Conspiracy changed everything, in my opinion for the worse: Clone Conspiracy's clone narrative is that these clones are, essentially, the original person. I believe the Marvel wiki still actually lists the end of Clone Conspiracy as 616 Gwen Stacy's issue of death instead of Amazing Spider-Man #121, because Clone Conspiracy treated that Gwen not simply as a clone with all of the same memories, but as essentially Gwen resurrected through a cloning process. The Billy Connors who was cloned is treated as the same Billy Connors who was killed by his father in Shed (Amazing Spider-Man #630-633). And the clone Ned is treated as the same as 616 Ned. This is a mess, to put it simply, because it goes against all the previous Spider-Man cloning narratives and, honestly, most popular sci-fi clone narratives, and it's seriously undermining decades of good Spider-Man storytelling in ways that Slott didn't address and that Spencer seems unwilling to. It probably wouldn't have been a very big deal -- a frustrating one, but not a big one -- if all of the clones had perished at the end of Clone Conspiracy, but they didn't. Billy Connors escaped, and it's immensely frustrating to me to see Peter treating the Connors family reunion as something he can tolerate when Curt Connors ate his kid, and the Ned clone slithered away in the gutters to, I assume, spite me personally.

Which brings us to the current Betty Brant storyline in Amazing Spider-Man, where Betty has showed up heavily pregnant and informed Peter that the child is Ned's.

Yeah, I would say this is in fact the worst possible part. (ASM (2018) #67) Just speaking for myself, I'm generally not anti-pregnancy or baby storylines in comics, but this one is making me very uncomfortable for reasons beside Spencer being apparently unable to find any way to fit Betty into his stories without her showing pregnant.

So I'm actually going to take this back way, way to when Betty and Ned first got married, with some explanation of who Ned Leeds is for the uninformed, because, especially with the MCU's Ned Leeds in the mix, he's not exactly the world's most well known Spider-Man character. (I’m sure @ubernegro, who is much more well read on Miles Morales’ canon than I am, has thoughts on how the MCU’s Ned borrowed heavily off the character of Ganke Lee with a 616 Peter Parker character’s name pasted over him.) Ned was initially introduced as Peter's competition for Betty's affections -- Ned was older than both Peter and Betty, a working reporter, and presented as the more "stable" option compared to Peter, who of course Betty vastly preferred before circumstances tore them apart. Ned and Betty married in Amazing Spider-Man #156 and jetsetted off to Europe for Ned's job. This is where the cracks in the marriage began. Betty later reveals that she felt abandoned by Ned in Europe, to the point where she was able to come back to New York without his immediate notice -- as a woman, it's very easy to read their relationship at this point as being one filled with, if not abuse, then emotional neglect. Betty and Peter have a quick extramarital affair at this point -- Peter has just broken up with Mary Jane and Betty claims she and Ned are separating -- that persists until Ned returns and punches Peter over it.

(ASM #193)

(ASM #229) Betty and Ned reconcile off panel shortly thereafter, but that's pretty far from the end of the story. It's implied that the problems Betty and Ned previously had start to develop again, namely that Betty feels abandoned by Ned, that he is inattentive and, again, as a woman, it's hard not to read it as emotional neglect, if not abuse -- yet. Betty does start another affair at this point, this time with Flash Thompson, and Ned starts acting strangely. It would later be retconned that he was suffering the effects of hypnotism by the Hobgoblin, but like I said, that's a retcon, and what was happening at the time was that Ned was acting erratically in part because he was the villainous Hobgoblin. Ned becomes controlling, threatening, and verbally and physically abusive towards Betty.

(ASM #284)

(ASM #283) "I suppose you think it's all right for a wife to cheat on her husband!" "No -- but I won't let you hurt her, either." Leaving aside that Peter also had an affair with Betty, something he's conveniently forgetting in the above panels, I've always really liked this exchange, because the narrative makes it clear through Peter's response to Ned that, whatever the audience may think of Betty for cheating on Ned, it is reprehensible for Ned to publicly humiliate her and/or physically abuse her as a response.

Then Ned Leeds dies in Spider-Man vs Wolverine and he's revealed as the Hobgoblin posthumously shortly thereafter and that remains canon for years and years until it's later retconned out, as comics are wont to do. But that's not really that important for this conversation -- my point being, at one point in Spider-Man canon, it's made fairly clear to the reader that Ned is an abusive husband. He emotionally neglected and abused Betty several times over and physically hurt her at least once on panel, with the clear intent that the reader should realize that he is physically hurting her. So for me as a reader and as a woman, this has always been a really uncomfortable relationship. I have a problem with later Spider-Man comics claiming that it's "not Ned's fault" that he abused Betty because of the retcon that he was hypnotized, and I have a problem with the MCU making Betty and Ned into a cute summer fling in Spider-Man: Far From Home, because I feel like Ned's clear abuse of Betty either gets excused or entirely glossed over. And I don’t think the initial abuse storyline is bad -- I think there’s some amount of value in portraying Betty as a woman who marries too young, who experiences a terrible marriage, and who then spends years recovering from that marriage, which was the case up until they retconned Ned’s abuse of her as a side effect of him being controlled by the real Hobgoblin. What I’m specifically uncomfortable with is the post-retcon attitude that since Ned didn’t really mean to abuse Betty, it’s perfectly fine to portray the relationship in a positive light when even before Ned’s abuse became physical that wasn’t the case. I think that’s ultimately really irresponsible storytelling.  As a reader, I’m not against soap opera style storylines -- someone getting impregnated by a cone of their ex-husband seems pretty par for the course. But there’s so much additional context here that I still haven’t entirely processed how I feel about this Betty storyline, except that what I feel isn’t positive.

So yes, I would agree with you when I say I think there’s quite a lot of deception involved in Betty’s pregnancy storyline -- the Ned clone didn’t tell her he was a clone, even though he had full knowledge of that fact, just as he had full knowledge of how badly the original Ned treated Betty over the course of their relationship -- that renders their sexual encounter and Betty’s pregnancy uncomfortable for me as a reader, to put it mildly. I don’t think it’s out of character for the Ned clone, given that he acts much like the original Ned: he’s selfish and controlling, withholding information from Betty to suit his own needs. The tragedy of Ned and Betty isn’t that Ned died, as more recent Spider-Man stories like to portray it -- including this one, where Betty doesn’t have the knowledge that a) the Ned she reunited with was a clone and not the original and b) that that clone later died. (ASM #816.) The tragedy is that writers continue to force Betty Brant into Ned Leeds storylines instead of letting her as a character grow past him, and that the only way Spencer thought to include her, one of the longest running Spider-Man characters, back in the story was to have her appear starry-eyed over carrying the child of (the clone of) her abusive ex-husband, and the tragedy is that nobody writing more recent Betty and Ned interactions seems to realize that Ned was a villain not because he was briefly the Hobgoblin but because of how he treated Betty. 

[experiment-000]

My Top 10 Ships of 2020

It's been a weird year but I've seen other people doing this. Plus this year I've been way more into gen fics (love a bit of found family especially in clone wars and marvel) than anything shippy. So I genuinely don't know what imma put on here aside from two ships for sure. Sorry this post is super long idk how to do the below the cut thing and I've had this app for 5 years...

10) Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki - Yuri!!! On Ice

It was a real toss up between this, supercorp, kanera and wolfstar cos they're all very integral ships to my fan heart but this son because of the Yuri on Ice fandom's rebirth this year. I've never stopped shipping this, never stopped reading fanfic of them for any extended period of time, they're still my most bookmarked ship on ao3 (although I think now star wars - all media types may have overtaken them for fandom). They were one of the first things I watched where the queer ship I loved became canon and I can't wait for the film (and hopefully someday a season 2). Heck I even made my mum watch Yuri on Ice with me so I think that says it all.

9) Edelgard Von Hresvelg and female Byleth - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

My first fire emblem game was fates when I was like 14 (and finally gay awake lol). I was so disappointed that I had to be with a guy character because the only female option was kinda creepy and also I wouldn't get the character of kana. So when three houses came out I was so happy because finally there were beautiful incredible female characters my female byleth could romance (I'm so sorry mlm you deserved so much more than you got). I got the game as soon as it came out (had to search a lot of shops let me tell you) and started on black eagles. I was actually kinda disappointed back in 2019. I didn't like the explore the monastery bit (still find it kinda tedious) and the battle mechanics weren't quite the same as fates (no pairing up?! Aka my main battle technique for protecting the weaker units). So I got like 20 hours in and put it down. Came back to it in lockdown and finally finished it! I'm so proud of myself I virtually never finish games. And I fully fell in love with the useless lesbian edelgard in the process. When I started back playing in 2020 I was like eh I wish I'd picked a different character to romance (like shes an emperor that's morally very shady) but then the romance stuff started with edelgard and I fell the heck in love.

8) Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter (and Topanga Lawrence) - Boy Meets World

Disney+ was released in the UK this year and I finally got the opportunity to watch boy meets world in its best quality (aka not on YouTube). I watched it back when I was like 12 or 13 and it's such a nostalgic show for me. Watching it again I still absolutely adore it (and my bi ass was low-key crushing on Shawn especially in chick like me - I'm 18 btw and I got so scared for a sec but rider strong was 18 when chick like me came out so it's fine woah). And of course now I see the possibilities of the beautiful Cory and Shawn relationship like they were so bromance it was basically romance and throw in topanga it's the perfect ot3 (but I'm also fine with just Cory and Shawn or just Cory and Topanga). Read some good fanfic for them this year. My favourite was one about Shawn stealing makeup and stuff and exploring gender (need more fics like this I'm biiii).

7) Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Marvel Cinematic Universe

I rewatched all the MCU films this year too. And got really into Peter parker whump and irondad. Plus my eternal obsession with identity and relationship reveals of course led me from Spiderman identity reveals (and found family cuteness) to stucky coming out. Especially when it involves the internet and social media. Not my favourite ship but it's been significant to my year due to the sheer amount of marvel stuff I've read.

6) Satine Kryze and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I rewatched clone wars in prep for season 7 and wow Satine's death was sad and sudden. She first appeared in S2 E13 I think and just the sheer sexual tension of their bickering. "The sarcasm of a soldier. The delusion of a dreamer." Just ugnnhhh my bi ass can't take much more of this. And Anakin just sipping his wine in the background grinning. And I fully believe korkie is a Kenobi.

5) Commander Cody and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I am very much an Obi wan multishipper. I don't really have a favourite but I fully believe he was with satine and Quinlan in his life. I don't think be would've actually done anything with Cody because of the whole superior officer thing. And this probably isn't even my favourite Obi wan ship - that honour probably goes to quinobi or obitine. However the most popular ships in the fandom are codywan, quiobi and obikin. No offence to anyone who ships these they're just personally not to my taste, but I can't stand quiobi, and obikin I find only slightly more tolerable and I think that's just because there's so much obikin content so if I like the concept of a fic that happens to be obikin I'll read it. I'm just not a fan of the mentor/student relationships. So I generally favoured the codywan fics when there was shipping involved meaning I read a lot of them this year. Needed that nice fix it content post season 7.

4) Zuko and Katara - Avatar: the Last Airbender

Again I am a multishipper I have nothing against zukka it's cute. But I'm a zutara shipper first and foremost because when I first watched avatar I was like 13 and denying my gayness and gayness in general so I shipped the straight things and the straight things only. Most of these ships I stopped shipping - dramione, spuffy, some my little pony ones which we don't talk about. Zutara stayed. (I have nothing against any of the things I used to ship I just stopped shipping them so much/shipped new things more). I've continuously shipped zutara since I first watched avatar even if I didn't necessarily spend that much time on it it has always been here as one of my favourite ships. It has such good fanfic I swear including my favourite ever fanfic from any fandom - love thy enemy. Plus like the black games (reread this for the millionth time this year), a delicate subterfuge (which I read for the first time this year and damn it's so good) and so many more. With the avatar resurgence this year I haven't actually rewatched avatar aside from my normal random episode every now and then when I feel like it. But there's been a lot of avatar on my dash from people I follow getting into it and people I followed for avatar returning so naturally I returned to the fandom and read quite a lot of fanfic. I also read just a lot of avatar gen fics which were great at the whole found family thing I've been so obsessed with this year.

3) Catra and Adora - She Ra and the Princesses of Power

Catradora is canon! They kissed! What more is there to say. Arguably they should've been top but I never shipped them that much since I was always very much a multishipper when it came to she ra so yes I was very happy it became canon because we actually won for once but also I've never read much fanfic for them etc. But they are very much a dynamic I love and watching she ra all again in prep for season 5 I really enjoyed the build up of their relationship. The other two only go above because Buffy is my favourite show ever and damn there's some good fuffy fanfic and Aphra and Tolvan is both fresh in my mind and star wars owns me. Would love some catradora fic recs btw if anyone has them tho.

2) Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I didn't realise it was last year that I got super into them but according to my ao3 bookmarks it was lol. 2020 I swear it's lasted an eternity. I got into them about a month before lockdown (which feels like another lifetime). I've loved Buffy since I first watched it when I was 13. It's arguably still my favourite TV show. I've been through a lot of ships for Buffy - bangel to spuffy and now fuffy. I still think angel and her were a beautiful ship back in season 2 and especially in the angel episode I will remember you. But faith and Buffy had so much chemistry in season 3 - she would've been a fresh start for Buffy and the amount of fix it fics I read I swear. My favourite has to be one where they met in LA during Anne and how that changed everything feat Buffy's internal homophobia.

1) Cheili Lona Aphra and Magna Tolvan - Star Wars

I read Darth Vader (2015) and Doctor Aphra (2016) for the first time at the end of 2020 (got a comic subscription which has served me very well already I've nearly finished the star wars canon comics). Just to see canon queer ladies in star wars was so magical for me as a queer lady. I didn't think star wars would be so overt yet as to have a queer kiss in canon (even if it's in the comics) and especially not with the main character of arguably their main comic series. Now we just gotta hope that we'll get it in live action someday soon. They weren't the ship I consumed the most content of in 2020 but they were the highlight of my 2020 because star wars did that and I finally found out about it

Honourable mentions: Vivian and Elle - Legally Blonde, Candace and Vanessa - Phineas and Ferb, Stevie and Alex - Wizards of Waverly Place, Xander and Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I actually don't ship this but damn some authors are good - this was the ship that made me realise I don't need to like a ship if the author is good enough to write it well), Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo - Star Wars (started reading the books last year but finished this year and only started with fanfic this year), Villanelle and Eve - Killing Eve, Kanan and Hera - Star Wars, Barriss and Ahsoka - Star Wars, Remus and Sirius - Harry Potter, Kara and Lena - Supergirl (let's hope this becomes canon next year!) (Those last four are ones I've shipped forever some of my og ships but nothing particularly big has happened for me this year with them so)

I got Disney+ this year so rewatched a fair few things from my youth and though hey my obsession with that character may have been a little gay.

[hellyeahheroes]

Death Battle is back in our corner of comics fandom, they’re now doing Babsgirl vs Spider-Gwen fight. 

The matchup kinda makes sense, out of the Batfamily characters post-flashpoint Barbara is likely the one easiest to compare to Gwen. But it did made me think of a different kind of comparison between the two than is usually done.

In a way return of Barbara to being Batgirl could be seen as a result of backlash to the popular perception of the character boiling down to “Joker’s victim”. It is certainly an angle many of the “One True Batgirl” crowd members have been using to defend erasing her disability. Of course this ignores , I would even say deliberatelly, the work done by John Ostrander and Kim Yale and legions of writers like Gail Simone that follwoed their lead, to establish Barbara as Oracle, a heroic identity in her own right. Paradoxically, these attempts to “move away” Barbara from Killing Joke made her even more defined by it. The fact it is effectively a decision to cement work of a man as the character’s defining moment, while ignoring work of women to help her move past that, only makes the irony more visible to naked eye. When we add inherent ableism and the fact DC had to screw over royally two other characters, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown, to get where they had put Barbara in 2011, it leaves any possibility of this decision being truly feminist, dead in the gutter. When paired with the massive propaganda game in Batman comics to portray time when Barbara was Batgirl as some sort of magical “best of times” in history of Batman, something that has started with Hush and continued all the way up to Flashpoint, it mires the decision purely into nostalgia.

Gwen Stacy for decades has been known for one thin - the Night Gwen Stacy Died, a story in which she has been killed by Green Goblin (coincidentially, often see as the Joker counterpart in Spider-Man mythos). Similiarly to Barbara the character has been ever since mitologized with a ton of retcons to the point she is nowadays portrayed as nearly a saint. And in similair vein Spider-Gwen’s popularity could be seen as a backlash against her being seen in nerd minds as just “a girl killed by Norman Osbron to make Peter mad”. But unlike DC’s very deliberate attempt at enforcing this, Marvel seems to have stumbled into that by accident - the character was originally little less than one among many new Spiders from across the Multiverse, curiosities for a big event with likely little plans to build on them further, not unlike Penni Parker or Aaron Aickman. Marvel was quick to leap on her popularity and milk it for what it was worth it but they didn’t need to screw over other Spider-heroines. I mean, yes, they did screwed over characters like Anya Corazon and Mayday Parker even in Spider-Verse itself, but it wasn’t done to push on Gwen (with exception of Web Warriors, which was poorly received even by Gwen fans). The stories of Spider-Gwen treat The Night Gwen Stacy Died more like a cautionary tale for this Gwen and underline that she is not gonna be defined by 616 Gwen. Hell, one of characters that usually is most bashed by the chuch of Saint Gwen Stacy - Mary Jane Watson - is argurably most important supporting cast member of Spider-Gwen books. In a way, as we can see in stories like clone conspiracy or Gwen Stacy miniseries, we could even read it that the people who never got over 616 Gwen’s death are not satisfied with Spider-Gwen. Likely because she is too different from the idealized version of Gwen they try to convince whole world existed anywhere outside their heads. I wonder if the insistence to push Spider-Gwen into 616 stories and the attempts to sink shiopping of Gwen with her world’s MJ aren’t editorial attempts to stop Spider-Gwen to truly growing into her own character, leaving reflection of main universe Gwen Stacy enteirly behind.

But that’s jsut my digression. Anyway, Gwen is probably gonna tear Barbara to pieces, Batfamily statistically tends to lose their Marvel vs DC matches on Death Battle. Also, I’m bitter that if it wasn’t for SOMEONE *glares at Dan Didio*  Cassandra Cain would likely have enough media presence for a match between her and X-23 be reasonable possibility to be featured on this show one day but as it is now once DB picks up Laura they’re probably gonna have her murder Damian. Through there is some thematic comparison there too, what with both of them having their character development yeeted through the window into oblivion and nuked from the orbit for good measure every time a new writer takes over the reins....

-Admin

[shlabam]

TOP TEN COMICS BOOK VILLAINS WE PROBABLY WON’T SEE IN THE MOVIES

Superhero media is the hottest thing going right now. It was true ten years ago when the MCU was in its adolescence, and it’s even truer now. Even with film production on lockdown, Marvel and DC are still planning on literally dozens of their characters entering their respective cinematic universes. However, for the fans of the source material, things can be contentious. For every memorable Tony Stark quip, there’s Superman destroying an entire city because he’s, frankly, kind of dumb now. A major point of contention is how the various popular villains are utilized. Making an intimidating and potent villain in a comic book is very different than in a film. In comics, you have months to establish motive, powers, and backstory before the villain even makes their first move. In films, that all has to be compressed and spilled out in the scarce few minutes when Captain America and Bucky aren’t making bambi eyes at each other. To be concise, some villains adapt perfectly, and some, no matter how good they are in the comics, just don’t. And to be clear, this list is of popular villains who have the possibility of appearing in a big-budget film, so no, you won’t be seeing Ten Eyed Man or Big Wheel in there. Their powers are, respectively, having ten eyes, and being very good in business. (That’s a lie, he’s just a huge wheel who chases Spider-Man.)

10: Mr. Mxyzptlk:

Cool, let’s get this one out of the way. Despite being one of Superman’s oldest, longest-lasting, and most popular enemies from all the way back in the Golden Age, there’s no way in hell he will be in a movie. For the uninformed. Mr. Mxyzptlk is a 5th dimensional wizard-genie who appears every ninety days to torment Superman with his reality-altering antics, and can only be sent back to his home dimension if Superman tricks him into saying his own name backwards. Yes, it would be very dazzling, as Mr. Mxyzptlk’s powers in a movie would basically look like if Christopher Nolan directed Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but he’s a little too silly to fit in with the current “everything is gloomy and also a bummer” tone of the Superman films. This silly tone has lent itself perfectly to the Supergirl series, where he’s made a handful of appearances. Besides, if we get Mxyzptlk in a Superman movie before Brainiac, I’ll lose my entire freaking mind.

9: Hobgoblin:

There have been eight Spider-Man movies so far, and of those eight, four of them have, in some capacity, featured the Green Goblin. And that makes sense, right? The Green Goblin is easily Spider-Man’s most memorable and reoccurring nemesis, with Doctor Octopus and Venom close behind, and Peter Parker’s link with Norman and Harry Osbourn makes their tragic story perfect for film adaptation. On the other hand, we have the Hobgoblin, who is essentially Green Goblin with all the gimmicks, none of the Parker-adjacent backstory, and an orange and blue color scheme, likely tying him to the Denver Broncos [citation needed]. Still, in those four cinematic attempts at tackling the Goblin, none of them have quite gotten him right, and I can’t imagine this character, who is, even in canon, an intentional Green Goblin rip-off, would fare any better.

8: Starro:

Brave and the Bold #28 from 1960 featured the first story with the Justice League, and this story put them up against a very unique new villain: Starro the Conqueror, a giant telepathic starfish who can release tiny versions of himself. If these tiny starfish latch onto your head, you’re under his control and obey his commands. The Justice League have battled him fairly regularly over the last fifty years, and he’s a distinct and powerful enemy that the fans generally appreciate, leading to him being referenced occasionally in Smallville, Arrow, and Flash. Why won’t he ever be in a movie? Because if you’re a Hollywood producer, you stopped paying attention at “giant telepathic starfish”. Sorry. Maybe Shuma-Gorath will pop up in the next Doctor Strange movie, and he’ll set off a Twilight-esque wave of starfish monster movies! Then again, almost absolutely not.

7: Puppet Master:

Speaking of mind control, what’s scarier than that? For my money, nothing. Having your body and will taken away from you by an unseen force is a terror greater than death. How could you possibly make a villain based around such a chilling concept and have him not be scary? Well, maybe if it’s an old bald man in an apron playing with dolls. The Puppet Master is an ongoing threat for the Fantastic Four who is just that: he makes models of his foes out of radioactive clay, and makes them punch themselves and dance around and kiss each other, because he’s, y’know, a weird old man. Why is he such a consistent threat who hasn’t fallen into obscurity like other dumb gimmick-based villains? His stepdaughter, Alicia Masters, is the Thing’s longtime girlfriend. As long as she keeps appearing in movies (including being played by… Kerry Washington? That can’t be right), there’s always a chance he’ll pop up, but I don’t think any movie studio is that stupid, despite the quality of every Fantastic Four movie blatantly defying that prediction.

6: Bizarro:

Superman has always suffered in the villains department. When you’re essentially a god, what can they throw at you? As it turns out, Lex Luthor, almost always. But why not another Superman? Bizarro is essentially that, an imperfect clone of Superman who speaks in opposite speak - “Bizarro am good! Me not punch you until you live!” - and features the same abilities as the Man of Steel. Sounds great, right? Putting a hero against a villain with their same powers has worked for nearly every Marvel movie (shots fired). So why won’t we see him grace our silver screens any time soon? Because they’ve never really figured him out. Is he funny? Is he lethal? Does Kryptonite work on him? If he does everything the opposite of Superman, why does he wear clothes? Isn’t being naked the opposite of being clothed? Bizarro is a major Superman side-character and has made appearances in Smallville and Supergirl, but the idea of him being the Big Bad going toe-to-toe with Henry Cavill doesn’t sound like it would generate a lot of views.

5: Impossible Man:

You remember what I said about Mr. Mxyzptlk? Remember? So take that bit, but everywhere I say Superman, have it say Fantastic Four instead… yeah, that should do it.

4: The Wrecking Crew:

Thor has a unique quirk of having a very cinematic rogues gallery. Sure, most of the movies have pitted him against Loki, but if they were to run him up against the Enchantress, or the Absorbing Man, or Ulik the Troll, or Kurse, or even the Stone Men from Saturn, that’s not a bad movie! However, in one of the attempts to give Thor more of a mortal nemesis, they put him up against the Wrecker, who has an… enchanted… indestructible… crowbar. Yeah. Incredibly, the Wrecker and his Wrecking Crew have become very present characters throughout the Marvel Universe, essentially serving as “jobbers”, being rolled out to get beaten up by the new top hero or villain, but that may not work in a movie, where villains have to be seen as having some level of potency before being struck down. That means we’d need at least a short scene where it seems like Thor might lose to a guy whose power is “crowbar”, and that’s about as likely as an Edward Norton cameo in the next Avengers. Ho boy, they did NOT part on good terms!

3: Clayface:

When the movie-going public goes to see a Batman movie, they generally want something a bit more grounded than your typical superhero fare. After all, Batman has no powers, and therefore the most supernatural thing that should happen in these movies is a gas that makes you smile, or a different gas that makes you think your dead parents are back and disappointed in you. Might wanna put a mouth covering on that mask, Bruce! The one and only they’ve made a movie where Batman fights people with real, off-the-wall super powers (Batman and Robin), it did not go great. And those guys pale in comparison to Clayface, who is, yes, made of clay. In the comics and cartoons, Clayface looks awesome, turning his limbs into weapons and being very challenging to incapacitate, but in a live-action, realistic Batman adventure, we wouldn’t want to see the Dark Knight fight a poop-colored version of the T-1000, especially if it’s got the same chemical composition of a little dreidel that I made.

2: Red Hood:

A relative newcomer to the Batman universe, Red Hood is the revived body of Jason Todd, the second Robin, who was brutally killed by the Joker in one of the most controversial storylines DC Comics ever produced. Literally, fans called a 900 number to tell the writers to kill him off. A 900 number. That’s how much they hated the little turd. Anyway, Jason Todd, whom Batman and the rest of the world believed was dead, was revived by Ra’s al Ghul and became a ruthless villain. Since then, he’s gravitated more to the side of the hero, though one a bit more willing to spill blood than his mentors. Why won’t we see him in the darker, edgier Batman films? Because… that’s Bucky. It’s the same thing that happened in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Teen sidekick killed in controversial manner, revived by super villain to be a thorn in said hero’s side, later changes his mind and becomes a good guy again, though with enough PTSD to fill a PTSD super store. The two storylines even occurred in the comics in the same year, 2005, to much fanfare and across-the-board declarations of one company ripping off the other, reminding the world of the great Aquaman-Namor debates of the 1940s. Considering that DC’s films have criminally underperformed compared to Marvel’s, the last thing they want to do is be accused of lazy plagiarism, so Jason Todd will likely remain a permanent fixture in the afterlife, hanging out with Batman’s parents and, at the rate that people are coming back from the dead, literally no one else. (Plus, if they can’t even get Robin right, how are they gonna do this?)

1: Mister Sinister:

Yes, he was teased at the end of X-Men Apocalypse, but ignoring that the film underperformed both critically and commercially, Mister Sinister is never going to be in a movie. It would make sense for him to appear, though, right? He’s one of the most present and potent X-Men villains, he’s played crucial roles in many memorable storylines, he’s got a sick cape, but… something a lot of comic book fans tend to overlook is his murky backstory, powers, and motivations. He was a biologist in Victorian London who did genetic experiments on homeless people in the hopes of finding clues about the oncoming threat of mutants. In this time, he unearthed the long-dormant En Sabah Nur, whom you plebeians may know as Apocalypse, and Apocalypse gifted him with great abilities. What abilities you ask? HA HA, good question! At various times, Sinister has displayed: telepathy, telekinesis, energy projection, shape-shifting, regeneration, and teleportation, but these powers will mysteriously disappear whenever they want him to get sliced up real good by Wolverine. Additionally, it has never been made very clear what Sinister wants. Does he seek perfect mastery of the human genome? Does he live to torment Cyclops? Is he a blind follower of Apocalypse? Is he just running through all the different kinds of goatee? Of course, in adaptation, the writers would pick and choose the aspects they’d want to use, but I doubt they’d want to untangle the Christmas lights mess that is Mister Sinister, especially when they’ve got a perfectly good villain whose power is just “magnets”.

[thegeekerynj]

Short Reviews, when the Big Mouth doesn’t have much to say… Or is trying to get caught up from COVID / Election Overload

An Occasional Attempt to Read, Discuss and Review the Wonders of Comics

By: John Rafferty, cranky old man, and Fan of All Things Comics

Short Takes 

Short Reviews, when the Big Mouth doesn’t have much to say… Or is trying to get caught up from COVID / Election Overload

Legion of Super Heroes 6-10  (DC Comics)

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis    Pencils: Ryan Sook (#6 - 7, 10) Various (8 - 9)   Inker: Wade Von Grawbadger (#6 - 7, 10) Various (8 - 9)

‘You want to be called Bouncing Boy?

Looking at the Memexes, we were considering “The Bullet”.

Bullet?

It’s a projectile that——

No, with me, it’s all about the BOUNCE.

———————————————————————————————————

Can Brian Bendis write everything?

Between story, and downright FUN, this is a great book.  Team books are hard to do well, if for no other reason, because of the characterizations. 

Multiple characters mean multiple personalities, and some of those will always get underdeveloped in relationship to the team, as the writer invariably has favorites  Unless…

What we are seeing with LSH is development of characters from across the spectrum. Every book has development of some of the characters, even if they’re not directly involved in the story. This is a far cry from what you see in other books.

Add to this Ryan Sook’s breakdowns, and Wade von Grawbadger’s inks, and you get a pretty package, all tied up in a big bow. More importantly, this is a story with a legacy reaching back 60 years, and is being truly refreshed for a new audience.

This isn’t the Legion I read in 1967, but it’s damned good! 

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Suicide Squad #9 - 10  (DC Comics)

Writer: Tom Taylor  Artist: Bruno Redondo

I have Kord’s location.

Okay. Do you also have the Senator?

Oh, did you want him back for some reason? That spineless mouth-breather championed a law to dump more waste into the sea. Delusional, greedy @#$% thinks he owns the world.

I have some friends reminding him he does not.

———————————————————————————————————

Floyd Lawton, first appearance, Batman #59, June 1950, as the man who never misses.

Floyd Lawton, a man who feels no rereason to continue living, but has no wish to die: who puts his life on the line to save his teammates time and time again, to save his daughter and her mother, all with the wish of dying in a truly spectacular fashion.

Floyd Lawton, who finally finds a reason to live, in the eyes of his daughter, Zoe.

Floyd Lawton. Deadshot. Perennial member of Task Force X, finally earned his pardon.

Game Over.

By all that’s Unholy, Tom Taylor is a hateful SOB! But the man writes a great story!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

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Marvel Zombies Resurrection # 1 - 4  (Marvel Comics)

Writer: Phillip Kennedy Johnson   Artist: Leonard Kirk

‘Fine. I guess we came all this way. 

Might as well do something really stupid.

———————————————————————————————————

This sums up exploring the World, any world, during a Zombie Apocalypse. Especially when those with Super Powers have been turned into Super Zombies.

So, we pick up with Peter Parker, Forge, Karla Sofen (Moonstone), Valeria and Franklin Richards, a Flerkin named Chewie, and the reprogrammed Sentinel lovingly called ‘Nana’, moving from defendable place to defensible area, seeking a ‘safe place’. Somewhere they can rest for more than one night… if that is possible.

Always realizing the next tree could be hiding a zombified Avenger, or Defender, or Loved one…

Johnson’s Miniseries is another version of the Marvel Zombiepocalypse, which begs the question, what happens when Zombie Galactus infects your world? Or, more importantly, when it CARRIES the infection to your world?

Leonard Kirk’s art style is perfect for this story, a very dark, visceral style which is a little hard on the eyes, making the reader work for every panel. Yes, it hurts to read, but IT SHOULD! It’s Zombies!

This is worth the read if you can get all 4 issues (the first issue came out in July).

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶

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Rorschach #1  (DC Black Label)

Writer: Tom King   Artist: Jorge Fornes

‘They won’t talk to me. Treating me like I’m a  damn Kindergarten kid. I got twins in Kindergarten. Duane and Dwight. I’m not a Kindergarten kid. 

Jesus Christ. What’d they say to you?

That you’re dying.

Shit.

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In 1985, Walter Kovacs died. 

It went unnoticed, but for the few in attendance, for Kovacs died following the Alien Invasion of New York, which, in effect saved the world.

Yet, unnoticed, but for the few, Walter Kovacs became a red splash on the Antarctic permafrost.

And Rorschach, the Crime Hunter, died with him.

Or. did he?

In a world existing somewhere between Watchmen 1985 and Current Multiverses, Tom King and begun a noir-ish tale… Did Rorschsch come back, to foil an assassination attempt, and die in the process?

Did he come back, and fail at an attempt at assassination?

Or, Gentle Readers, is there a whole slew of balls in the air we just haven’t seen yet, that we are going to be expected to juggle deftly, as they drop just into sight?

I can’t wait for the answer!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Justice League #54 - 57  (Death Metal Tie-In) (DC Comics)

Writer: Joshua Williamson    Artists: Xermanico (54, 57), Pencils: Robson Rocha (55 - 56), Inks: Daniel Henriquez (55 - 56)

“Don’t you get it Cyborg? We’re not the Justice League!

We’re the Suicide Squad!

———————————————————————————————————

I have said before I am not a fan of Joshua Williamson’s writing.

Maybe I just don’t like him on the Flash. 

Four issues, each of them a very good story, each building, with some action and humor, to a smash mouth endpoint, that brings us to Death Metal #5.

I have to say, I’m enjoying this run of Justice League, even with the switch of artist teams mid - tale Xermanico’s work os beautiful, right into the valley of the Starros (that gave me giggle fits!) Rocha and Henriquez’s work is very pretty, and a little darker than Xermanico’s, giving a more atmospheric touch to the Antenna of LOD.

I have to admit, they do a mean Kori, as well! Really FIERCE, with a Full Length mohawk!

Well worth the cost of admission, and a strong addition to the Metal storyline.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Nightwing #75 - 76 (DC Comics)

Writer: Dan Jurgens   Artists: Travis Moore and Ronan Cliquet (75), Ronan Cliquet (76)

‘We have to talk.’

———————————————————————————————————

Four words. 

Four words that have ended more relationships than violence.

Dan Jurgens has done a masterful job of tying up the Ric Grayson / Amnesias storyline that seems to have run for nigh on ever… by bringing it full circle to Anatoli Knyazev, the KGBeast.

The artwork in these two issues was pretty, with obvious switches between that of Travis Moore (the Titans / Batgirl pages) and Ronan Cliquet’s Batman / KGBeast pages.

Nicely tied up, completing multiple storylines in two issues. Ready to move forward/

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶.5

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Young Justice  #19 - 20 (DC Comics)

Writers: Brian Michael Bendis and David  Walker   Artist: Scott Godlewski

Red Tomato?

I think he said Tornado, and you know it.

Honestly, he talks so fast, I can’t understand him most of the time.

———————————————————————————————————

Damian Wayne, Robin.  Cassie Sandmark, Wonder Girl. Bart Allen, Impulse. Conner Kent, Superboy. Stephanie Brown, Spoiler. Keli Quintela, Teen Lantern. Zan and Jayna. the Wonder Twins. Jinny Hex, Naomi, Amethyst,

Twenty issues in, and the book is cancelled… or is planned to end. Either way, this is a suck way to do things, DC.

This is a great group of characters. Much better than the roster in the Young Justice cartoon, simply for the diversity. Some heroes just coming into their own, some who have existed for years,  (the Wonder Twins have been around in MULTIPLE iterations since the 1970’s), all helping each other… This was a great jumping in book for pre-teens who weren’t up for all the violence / hyperkinetic action / storytelling of a true adult book.

And, it was FUN!

Bendis, Walker and Godlewski produced a fantastic product every month.

One which is ending too soon. Unless, of course, it is going to come back in a new package… 

Hint, hint, hint…

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Amazing Spider-Man 50 - 53  ‘Last Remains’  (Marvel Comics (duh!))

Writer: Nick Spencer   Artist: Patrick Gleason

‘You’re going to love it, Pete. There’s no better feeling in this life — Than being surrounded by those you love.

———————————————————————————————————

So, what are the rules around DEAD Characters returning?

Do they have to be relevant after so many years? Shouldn’t they be, well, driven to do something? Not take more than 50 issues to finally get around to saying…”Bazinga!’, or it’s equivalent?

I must admit, issue 50 is the first issue of a Spider-Man book I picked up, and started to enjoy, until I realized I needed to pick up the LR issues also in order to get the whole story. Didn’t’t we get enough of this in the Shooter Years? 

What about a year and a half ago, when Marvel vowed they would never pull this crap again?? 

I guess they forgot… (Insert comparison to jackass in office here).

Too much work, don’t really care.

Especially when the reveal of who Kindred is happens in issue 50, and Peter finds out in #53… Puh-Leez!

At least it’s not Professor Warren and his Gwen Stacy clone. **BRRRRR** Freakin’ Creepy Old Perv!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶

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Batman 101 - 102 (DC Comics (bigger DUH!))

Writer: James Tynion IV   Artist: Guillen March (101)  Pencils: Carlo Pagulayan   Inks: Danny Miki   Artist: Carlos D’Anda (Pages 13 - 16)

‘DOUBLE RENT! And you don’t talk to the other tenants! They are good people.

Little Santa Prisca is a community. We live through BANE. We live through JOKER. Don’t blow it up with all your nonsense!

You got it Charlie, No Nonsense. Not Here.

Hey! What’s your policy on Hyenas?

———————————————————————————————————

So, Lucius Fox is one of the richest men in the world. 

Selina Kyle has put the Bat on a One Year Clock to get his stuff together, or she walks.

Clownkiller might be the Bernard Goetz of Superhero Vigilantism (look up the reference, I can’t do everything!), but he goes about proving you can’t keep a good vigilante killer down if he has Google.

Ghost Maker is more than we thought, and knows who Bruce Wayne keeps in the closet (or cave).

Is there anyone in Gotham who doesn’t know who Bruce Wayne is?

Tynion continues to pump out some great product, the stories and characters do not disappoint. Including Grifter as Fox’s ‘bodyguard’ was a nice touch, having him get the drop on Batman, a nicer one.

The art in both books, while vastly different, is simply gorgeous. I want to see more od the team of Pagulayan and Miki, I’m hoping to see their work grow with the storylines.

Next issue, BATTLE Sequences! Should be fun, not that it hasn’t been so far.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Shang Chi  #1 - 2 (Marvel Comics)

‘I have to save my Little Sister!

I have to kill my Big Brother!’

———————————————————————————————————

Only meetings should have agendas.

-Me, just now

Once upon a time, Sax Rohmer wrote stories about the machinations of one Fu Manchu, and his oft overturned attempts to take over the world.

In 1973, Steve Engelhart and Jim Starlin brought Shang Chi, son of Fu Manchu into the Marvel Universe, where he and his MI-6 partners Clive Reston and Black Jack Tarr were responsible for being the monkey wrenches in the machinery of Fu Manchu’s Plans.

It seems that Shang Chi is back, without his prior father. He is still proficient in all forms of martial arts, but now, he is ‘Champion of House of the Deadly Hand’ (like that name isn’t going to come to but him in the butt like a Karmic werewolf), and since the passing of his ‘Father”, now the Commander of the Five Weapons Society.

The artwork is pretty, and the story, steeped in Asian Mysticism, is a little draggy so far. Is the story good? Yeah, it’s a nice reminder of a character I exjyed a long tome ago.

Will it get better? Time will tell.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶.5

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The Rise of Ultraman #1 - 3 (Marvel Comics, by way of Tsuburaya Productions)

Writers: Kyle Higgins and Matt Groom    Artist: Francesco Manna

Oh. You’re here to fight because you think we’re one of the species that can’t evolve.

No. I know you cannot evolve.

Fifty-Four of your years ago, my brother came to assist you. And you killed him.

———————————————————————————————————

In the late 60’s, on certain New York television stations, the Saturday Afternoon hours were filled with Japanese imports, Kaiju - United Science Patrol, and of course the story of the death of Moroboshi, and the coming of Ultraman.

Ultraman, a human - alien symbiosis, who fought the Kaiju menace coming to take over the Earth.

Forward to 2020, a new Ultraman, with a new team of USP helpers / friends, and what looks at this point to be a corrupt system surrounding them.

This creative team has done a marvelous job with the material thus far, reviving this character for a modern reader.

It’s just a shame it’s only 5 issues…

It is definitely worth the read.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

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American Vampire 1976 #1 - 2 (DC Comics)

Writer: Scott Snyder   Artist: Artist: Rafael Albuquerque

‘DAMMIT! Before what happened with Gus, you were the best vampire tracker and killer around. I’m asking you to help me take down whoever this PEELING MAN is.

But if this shitty music and LASERS is your life now, then just say so, and I’ll leave you to it.

It’s not a laser, you goddamned idiot.

It’s a SOLAR LAMP. **klik**

———————————————————————————————————

Ten years ago, Scott Snyder, Rafael Albuquerque and Stephen King started a journey which has spanned 10 Years in real time, but 200 years, and 12 separate cycles in series time.

The current iteration has our favorite group of vamps and exterminators running around 1976, wrecking discos, trains, and graveyards, all in the name of bringing back Stoker’s primary villain.

Snyder proves again he is up to the task of creating a world of whimsy and horror, providing mayhem, madness, and the occasional snorting giggle. His droll wit, and ability to write a phenomenal action piece makes this cycle of the American Vampire story a must read.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Why (most of) the 2010s Marvel legacy characters didn’t work

For Marvel characters I think it comes off as profoundly undermining when they get legacies, at least in the specific way Marvel attempted this throughout the 2010s.

To explain this we need to actually first look at DC’s characters in order to compare and contrast why legacies for them tend to work out better than they do for Marvel.

Simply put back in the 1930s-1950s (if not even later) DC’s characters were almost always created as powers first, people second. Wish fulfilment fantasy figures over flawed mere mortals.

Consequently you could legacy Green Lantern and the Flash in the 1950s and then do so again in the 1980s-1990s because so so long as you had a guy with a ring and another guy with super speed you were retaining the essence of both characters, the fundamental point and appeal of them.

But the Marvel characters were the other way around and practically deliberately designed to be so. 

Thor was the story of the life and times of Thor Odinson. Spider-Man was the story of the life and times of Peter Parker. The Fantastic Four was never the story about a brainiac who stretched, a girl who could go invisible, a kid who could burst into flame and a guy who looked like a rock monster. 

It was about a stern scientist obsessed with his work. A nurturing young woman who loved him but was frustrated by his tendency to get lost in his work. Her younger brother interested in sports cars, girls, excitement and other typically hot headed teenage endeavours. And an average Joe who was tortured and depressed that he was no longer human. 

Ben Grimm could’ve looked like any kind of monster and the central point of his character would have been retained. The F4′s specific powers, complemented their personalities, but they were not the driving point unto themselves. 

In contrast let us consider Captain America, probably the Marvel character who’s done the ‘replacement legacy hero’ storyline the most (at least within 616 canon). How comes he  lends himself so much better to this type of story than the other Marvel characters? 

Simple, because unlike most of the big name Marvel characters you know of, he wasn’t created in the 1960s or beyond. Cap was the product of the 1940s and was a peer to those same early days super heroes from the Golden Age, including the original Green Lantern and Flash. Like them he began fundamentally more as a symbol and powerset than a person. 

But now flashing forward to the 21st century many (most in my view) Flash fans were upset (and continue to be so) Wally West’s ascension to the Flash mantle was undermined and ultimately undone for the sake of restoring Barry Allan to the spotlight. The reason for this upset when Wally himself had replaced Barry? Wally had proven himself a far more flawed, nuanced and complex character than Barry had ever been. 

He demonstrated a degree of characterisation in the Flash role that Barry never had. It wasn’t even that he simply had more of this than Barry, but that Barry, just like Jay Garrick preceding him, had little to speak of in the first place. Thus the contrast between Jay and Barry was mostly superficial but the contrast between Barry and Wally was as stark as comparing Spider-Man to 1950s Superman.*

But Wally West, and the entire DC Universe from Post-Crisis onwards in fact, were in that mould precisely because they were trying to be more like Marvel comics has been since the 1960s onwards. 

DC in effect began prioritising the people beneath the costumes over the powers.** But Marvel starting in the 1960s had pretty much always been like that with their heroes.

Consequently when legacies popped up and those new characters were pushed as being just as good, just as worthy, or (in some cases) lowkey pushed as being better  than their predecessors it naturally rubbed those fans with decades of emotional investment the wrong way. OBVIOUSLY  a woman or a POC can be just as worthy and just as capable as a man or a white person as a superhero. But series to series, character to character, it was almost like Marvel was taking away your beloved pet.

Imagine for a moment you had a pet named Rex that you’d known and loved for years. 

Then Marvel insisted on taking Rex away from you when there was nothing wrong with him. In his place they give you another clearly different pet with Rex’s collar, who gets Rex’s bowl, Rex’s food, Rex’s toys, Rex’s bed and even Rex’s name and asks you to treat them not as just a new dog but straight up the new Rex.

Except he isn’t Rex. Rex is Rex. The ‘new Rex’ playing with Rex’s toys, doing the same tricks as him or having his collar doesn’t change that.*** 

Because Rex was more than a collar, his toys or his tricks. He was an individual that you’d known and loved. And even if you know Rex is going to come back ‘eventually’ having Rex taken away from you at all, having the new Rex supplant them (especially if old Rex was screwed over for the sake of new Rex’s arrival) and having so many people insist new Rex is just as great or more great than old Rex (to the point where many people loudly proclaim they don’t even want the old Rex back and the old Rex was kinda lame and boring) is going to create a massive dissonance. Maybe you would’ve been chill with the new Rex is he was just another additional pet called Rover or even like RexY who was similar yet different to Rex, but not actually promoted AS Rex or as his replacement. 

Maybe you would’ve been okay with the new Rex if the old one got too old, died naturally or accidentally. But you aren’t okay with it because there was nothing wrong with Rex, you LOVED Rex and Rex had been with you and been around generally forever. So the new Rex felt like he was undermining him, especially undermining Rex’s individuality. 

That’s how I think most Marvel fans felt about practically EVERY legacy situation that’s ever cropped up from the 1960s onwards, not even the ones just from the 2010s. I remember  the outrage when Bucky was announced as the new Cap. I know there were people salty about Eric Masterson as Thor and the Spider-Man Clone Saga speaks for itself.

Compounding the situation is that more than a few media outlets (despite imo not representing the feeling’s of the majority at all) promoted (and in some cases still promote) the new characters as not just better than they are (see the dozen or so lists talking about how great Riri allegedly was) but along with many fans tear down the older characters whilst doing so. 

See every article ever talking about why Peter Parker in the movies (and sometimes in the comics) NEEDS to die for the sake of Miles becoming the new Spider-Man in spite of their rationales rarely making sense from a creative/financial POV and utilizing misrepresentations of both characters to varying degrees. Even fans that appreciate the social/political relevancy of the new characters are going to naturally be upset in response to that and angrily voice opposition when the character they love gets dragged through the mud like that. And that then gets exacerbated when they are labelled as bigots for feeling upset by the changes or reacting against the character they love being dragged through the mud.**** 

Especially considering they would’ve reacted the same way regardless of who was the replacement hero.  Again, fans at first didn’t take kindly to John Walker or Bucky as the new Captain Americas so the idea that backlash against Sam Wilson was entirely or primarily racist was itself profoundly ignorant. Especially when you consider black reviewers such as those on the Hooded Utalitarian were calling it out as bad storytelling and bad representation for black people. SpaceTwinks went issue by issue through Spencer’s Sam Wilson run and called it out as racist, ignorant and naive. NONE of which is me saying that there isn’t more than a little bigotry going around detractors of these new characters nor that there aren’t obviously bad actors.

But those people did not and do not represent the majority and framing the situation as though they do is disingenuous and highly unethical. In conclusion, the backlash against the 2010s Marvel legacy characters was entirely natural, understandable and for the vast majority came from a place of love for the original characters not a bigoted hatred for the new characters skin colour or sex. 

It was a testament to Marvel’s, and the wider media, misunderstanding the psychology of most comic book fans. 

P.S. In regards to that, though it isn’t exactly talking about what I’ve spoken about I’d highly recommend checking out this video which touches upon the disenchantment Star Wars fans felt over the Sequel Trilogy, which itself could be viewed as doing the same thing Marvel did with it’s replacement legacy characters.

P.P.S. The reason I think the likes of Miles Morales or Kamala Khan succeeded where others failed is chiefly due to their rise to the role of legacy replacements stemmed from their predecessors not  being sidelined for their rise to the spotlight. Miles never ever replaced the 616 version of Peter Parker, widely considered by most fans and Marvel internally as the true and legitimate version of the character. Kamala Khan meanwhile picked up the Ms. Marvel only when Carol Danvers discarded it and became Captain Marvel. She was still in the spotlight in her own right, Kamala simply got her own spotlight using Carol’s obsolete name. Which isn’t all that dissimilar to fan favourite Cassandra Cain’s rise to the Batgirl mantle now I think about it.

P.P.P.S. A possible counter argument to all I’ve said is the success of the Superior Spider-Man/Otto Octavius. After all why was he embraced when Sam Wilson and Jane Foster wasn’t? Was a double standard rooted in bigotry at play?

No, but the answer isn’t neat and simple.

I think Ock as the new Spider-Man was more embraced partially because Ock had been around essentially as long as Spidey himself. But more poignantly  pre-Superior Spider-Man was so atrocious that a sizzling and sexy idea like Superior (which generated tons of cheap novelty) felt utterly refreshing, even to people who had actually LIKED pre-Superior Spidey under Slott. It’s like how people praised the early Big Time stories despite their problems because compared to BND they were genuinely better.

Plus Superior, for all it’s god forsaken writing, didn’t exist to clearly workshop potential movie ideas or chiefly in aid of a social/political cause. Someone can agree that there should be more black or female superheroes but disagree that the older characters should be sidelined in the attempt to achieve that.

Especially when there were better alternative options such as introducing those newer characters within and alongside the established hero’s narrative or simply introduce them independently as has happened recently with the likes of Lunar Snow.

*This is also why I suspect Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman survived from the Golden Age into the Silver Age. Because they were the DC characters who (more than any of the other ones) had actual personalities/substance to them. **Of course this didn’t begin wholesale with the post-Crisis era. But noticeably the characters who had worked with this new shift in priorities prior to Crisis on Infinite Earths stayed generally the same thereafter (E.g. the Titans, Batman) whilst characters who had largely vacillated or struggled (e.g. Superman and Wonder Woman) were given fresh starts which proved critically and financially successful.  

***Not even if he does everything just as well as Rex did or does some stuff differently that’s still good (although the overwhelming majority of the time new Rex is clearly not as good as the old Rex).

****I’ve seen people be called racist and misogynists for calling out Riri Williams honestly ridiculous degree of competency as a hero/tech genius in spite of her age. This is not an invalid criticism, yet disliking the character because of those reasons is grounds to be labelled as something ugly by another (imo minor yet also vocal) contingent of fandom. 

Hell I was called a Trump supporting Breitbart reading bigot for calling out Marvel as two-faced due to never putting a black writer in charge of Sam Wilson as Captain America or a woman in charge of Jane Foster as Thor. It isn’t exclusive to comics either as I and other people have been accused of racism/misogyny for disliking the Last Jedi in spite of that film to my eyes being itself racist and sexist anyway.

[redrikki]

2019 In Review

In 2019, I wrote 30 stories in 13 fandoms. Here's a breakdown by month. January Parting Strands She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Looking out for each other had been their thing, but Adora's starting to suspect that's over. Her thoughts during that scene in "Promise." (Adora, Catra) February Second Wind Star Wars Ahsoka takes the wrong exit from the world between worlds and ends up with a second chance to save her master. (Ahsoka Tano, Shmi Skywalker) A Modest Proposal Agent Carter The mess with Vernon Masters has left Daniel's office short staffed, but he has some replacements in mind. (Daniel Sousa/Peggy Carter, Edwin Jervis) Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree Agent Carter Three people who thought Peggy Carter and Edwin Jervis were having an affair and one who knew better (Peggy Carter, Edwin Jervis/Ana Jervis, Angie Martinelli, Jack Thompson, Daniel Sousa) For Amidala Star Wars Her handmaidens had all poured so much of themselves into Amidala, it was like they were part of her now. Padmé didn't know if she had the strength to let one go. (Padmé Amidala/Naboo handmaidens) Comic Book Life Black Lightning (TV) Comic book Thunder's boyfriend knew what his woman did, so why couldn't Anissa tell her girlfriend? (Anissa Pierce/Grace Choi) After the Funeral Star Wars Han offers Luke some unexpected support after the funeral of the guy who tortured him. (Luke Skywalker, Han Solo) March Bursts of Stardust III Star Wars A collection of seven short stories from tumblr. (Anakin Skywalker/Padmé Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, Sheev Palpatine, Jedi) April Peanut Butter and Marshmallows Umbrella Academy (TV) Stuck in the apocalypse, Five reads about Vanya leaving him sandwiches. (Five Hargreeves, Dolores) May Heroes for Ghosts Umbrella Academy (TV) Eudora waits for Diego and things go very differently. (Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves, Eudora Patch, Hazel, Cha-Cha, Various ghosts) June Good Housekeeping Misfits (TV 2009) It’s been months since his mum kicked him out, but at least Nathan hasn’t sunk to sleeping under the flyover. He's got a good thing going at the community center and means to keep it. (Nathan Young) The Beast You Made of Me DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV) The Waverider's resident shapeshifters compare notes. (Mona Wu, Charlie) July Truth Will Out Black Lightning (TV) Three times Anissa thought about telling Grace and one time she did. (Anissa Pierce/Grace Choi, Lynn Stewart, Jennifer Pierce) Iconic Umbrella Academy (TV) When Vanya learns Klaus is gay from an article in a teen magazine, she's upset for more than a few reasons. (Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves) The One You'll Know By Batman (Comics) After losing his memory, Bruce asked Alfred not to tell him about his vigilante life, but he's beginning to think his butler left a few other things out. Like, say, his kids. (Bruce Wayne, Lucius Fox, Duke Thomas, Alfred Pennyworth, Damian Wayne) August Feed Your Head Umbrella Academy (TV) Three shitty things young Klaus did for drugs and one thing they did for him. (Klaus Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves, Grace Hargreeves) September One Last Kiss (The Final Storm Remix) Agent Carter (TV) You never forget your first kiss with your nemesis. Dottie won't forget her last either. At Howard Stark's funeral, she puts a few things in the ground. (Dottie Underwood/Peggy Carter) Playing With Fire (The Dubiously Consensual Remix) Avatar: The Last Airbender People don't tell Azula no. (Azula/Ty Lee) Neither Should You (The Real People Remix) DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV) Rescuing her clones was the right thing to do. They deserved the right to live their lives and make their own choices. Ava just wished they’d stop sleeping with Gary. (Ava Sharpe/Sara Lance, Ava clones/Gray Green) October It Lingers Stranger Things (TV) The Mind Flayer is gone, but El can still feel it clawing underneath her skin. (Eleven, Joyce Byers, Will Byers, Jonathan Byers) When Evil Rains Umbrella Academy (TV) A hostage situation goes sideways. (Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves) The Good Soldier She-Ra and the Princesses of Power On the sliding scale between perfect soldier Adora and useless malcontent Catra, Lonnie was closer to the Adora end of the spectrum. How the hell had Catra made Force Captain before her? Catra was just going crash and burn and Lonnie? Lonnie would let her. (Lonnie, Catra, Kyle, Rogelio, Scorpia) Seismic Shift The Broken Earth Series - N.K. Jemisin Schaffa tells himself he will stop if Eitz says no. This one will be allowed to say no. The boy says nothing at all. (Schaffa/Eitz) Trigger Warning: child sex abuse Date Night Stranger Things (TV) Everyone and her mother seems to think they're together and Robin's getting pretty sick of it. (Robin Buckley, Steve Harrington, The Party) Intrepid Reporter Miraculous Ladybug Alya won't let a little thing like danger stop her from reporting the truth. (Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Ladybug) Better Than Ice Cream Miraculous Ladybug Orange, mint, and raspberry could be a tasty combination. The solution to every love triangle should be polyamory, but sometimes it's just not that simple. Spoilers for Love-Eater. (Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Adrien Agreste, Kagami Tsurugi) November St. Athanase Day Miraculous Ladybug Adrien and Marinette's beret the second time around. She always forgets the card, but she still signs her work. (Adrien Agreste, Plagg) December No Sleep Til Hawkmoth Miraculous Ladybug An overly caffeinated epiphany helps narrow down Alya's search for Hawkmoth. (Alya Césaire, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Adrien Agreste, Chloé Bourgeois, Nino Lahiffe) One Last Leap Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse Telling his parents he's Spider-Man is a leap of faith Miles can't bring himself to take. (Miles Morales, Rio Morales, Jefferson Davis, May Parker) The (Non)Haunting of Nathan Young Misfits (TV) And to think he’d scoffed when Simon had tried to warn him. Everyone you love will die. What a laugh, right? Christ, he’s been such an idiot. (Nathan Young/Kelly Bailey)

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of August 28th, 2019

Best of this Week: Spider-Man Life Story #6: The ‘10s - Chip Zdarsky, Mark Bagley, Drew Hennessy, Frank D’Armata and Travis Lanham

All good things must come to an end. That’s the main theme of this final issue of Chip Zdarsky and Mark Bagley’s phenomenal Life Story miniseries as it recounts the last adventure that Spider-Man goes on as he leaves the world free and safe in the capable hands of the new generation of superheroes.

Comic books are cyclical. For some heroes, you get a short run, 6-12 issues and then they disappear for years until they’re needed again for some big event. For the bigger heroes, there are ongoing series that last years upon years with some BIG changes that inevitably get reversed for the sake of reestablishing the status quo. It’s understandable, recognizable names draw big money, but there’s only so many times you can see a hero fight a particular villain before it becomes trite and meaningless.

The same goes for their daily lives as well. Peter Parker has been stuck as a meandering young adult for the better part of a decade since the events of One More Day and he hasn’t been allowed to grow past his immaturity, save for the few times when the situations have become desperate and dire. Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows tried to posit a family man Peter Parker in an alternate universe, but for the most part he came off as just regular Peter with a kid to banter off of. Nick Spencer and Tom Taylor are doing their best in their respective Spider-Man series to get Spider-Man back to a position where things actively change for him, but Chip Zdarsky has gone the extra mile.

The Spider-Man Life Story miniseries goes through Peter’s life if he actually aged with the decades that all of his comics took place in. He goes through the struggles of being an American citizen straddling the fence during Vietnam, the aftermath boiling to a superhuman civil war, a better Clone Saga of the 90s, Aunt May’s death, the start of the information age and finally having children and watching them grow up. Peter Parker is allowed to grow old, change with the times. He sees old friends die, new heroes emerge, give his take on current events of the time and it’s all been amazing.

I know I mentioned that fighting the same villains over and over can seem trite and meaningless, but that’s only when they’re done for the sake of being done. In this fantastic take on the Superior Spider-Man story, Peter and Otto have their absolute final confrontation with one another over the body and soul of the young Miles Morales. Peter and Miles are shot into space to stop some sort of satellite created by Doctor Doom that allowed him to fill the power vacuum left by Captain America and Iron Man’s Civil War. As the two explore, Peter is attacked by Kraven wearing the Venom symbiote, but he dispatches the villain easily and it’s revealed that the suit was just piloting a are skeleton.

Miles questions how it was possible and Peter replies that all of his old enemies are dead and rightfully accuses Miles of being Otto Octavius, Doctor Octopus. Otto reveals his scheme, but instead of fighting Pete physically, he chooses instead to go into the mindscape and have a battle of the intellect as they were always destined to do. 

Bagey pulls out all of his stops as he draws Spider-Man costumes from the various decades as well as beautifully illustrates some of the best of Spider-Man’s rogues gallery as they battle for supremacy. Set against a white background, the characters shine with their vibrant colors, dynamic posing and Bagley’s ever amazing facial expressions. I have never seen Otto look so menacingly mad and subsequently, once Peter defeats him, absolutely crushed. 

Using the only person that Peter knew Otto cared about, Aunt May, she’s able to convince Otto to let go of his hatred and rage. She tells him to let Miles live his life, to move on. I really felt this and inside, it feels like Zdarsky is also telling us that sometimes we have to let the status quo go. Spider-Man has been around for longer than some of us have been alive and will be long after most of us are gone. Do we really want him to be the same mid-20s to early 30s hero that we knew, or do we want to spend our time with someone new? Miles Morales is a little more than ten years old, he’s fairly young as a character and I wholeheartedly believe that he can carry on the Spider-Man name on his own.

As the satellite starts to collapse and there’s only one escape pod left, Peter chooses to save Miles and sacrifice himself so that the future can flourish in peace due to his heroism. It’s a true heroes death and something that we almost never see (and likely never will), but if this were a true moment of closure, then I would be happy with it. Peter Parker is known for having more guilt than a Catholic who hasn’t been to Mass for a month (or Daredevil) and as he finally closes his eyes for the final time, he has a nice conversation with Mary Jane and recounts his recurring dream of the day he truly learned about power and responsibility. The last panel is his guilt finally being washed away.

If there is one series I would recommend anyone read, hands down, without a doubt it would be this one. Chip Zdarsky has a strange yet beautiful understanding of how to tell a story with characters that some of us know better than our own family members. Mark Bagley has the art skills to make us care about them immensely as well. Putting these two together as well as their amazing inker in Andrew Hennessy and colorist in Frank D’Armata, they sell you on each decade presented and how Peter changes throughout. 

Spider-Man isn’t the same plucky youth we met in the 1960s. By the end of his story, he’s led a full life full of adventure and his time has been well spent making sure that it was a future worth living in. Isn’t that something that we all can only dream of?

---------------------------------------------------

God is Here.

Runner Up: Absolute Carnage #2 - Donny Cates, Ryan Stegman, JP Mayer, Frank Martin and Clayton Cowles

After the events of the last issue there aren’t enough words to describe just how hopeless things are looking for anyone who has ever worn a symbiote.

Spider-Man and venom have been backed into a corner by Carnage and his horde of infected inmates at the Ravencroft Asylum. With no other options Eddie decides it best to break out and punches a hole through the wall for a tactical retreat. Eddie is typically known for his ability to brute force his way through any problem, but Carnage is a new monster altogether and as he sees Spider-Man running out of energy, he gives into the fear that they might die.

In the past, the combined might of Spider-Man and Venom has been more than enough to combat Cletus Kasady. Even when Cletus had help, he still couldn't hold a candle to the heroes, but now, they're almost low tier by comparison.

Spider-Man notes that he's almost out of web fluid, so there's no way that they're swinging out of there, so Eddie and the Symbiote utilize one of their badass upgrades, spreads his wings and flies out of Ravencroft with Peter screaming frantically "WHATISGOINGONRIGHTNOWIHATEALLOFIT!" They then land on a roof in the city, defeated and horrified that they may not be able to stop Carnage this time.

Spider-Man says that he'll try to get a hold of Wolverine and Captain America and Eddie says that he'll go find any of the lowlifes that have been Symbiotes and the two split to complete their missions. Carnage chooses not to follow after them, instead he waits and plots. This issue then turns into a bit of a catch up game for the other tie in issues while Carnage gloats to Norman that everything is running smoothly and that the world will be painted red soon enough.

Ryan Stegman absolutely smashes the art in this issue with absolutely killer detail, expressions of fear and disgusting visuals, especially in Carnage's underground lair - The sprawling mass of symbiotic flesh that covers New York's sewage system, packed full of infected humans is a dreadful sight. In the beginning of the issue, Stegman drew a splash page of Carnage with other panels overlaid, showing one of his eyes of madness and the decayed flesh that's absolutely under the symbiote. It's an absolutely terrifying sight that set the tone of this horror show.

Not only were these shots great, but Stegman kills one of the moments that happens in the Miles Morales tie-in where Miles and Scorpion (Mac Gargan) fight off the infected hordes trying to take Gargan's spine. In the tie-in, the art is more subdued and less violent, but here, Stegman turns it into something to get squeamish over. Gargan tries to abandon Miles to fight the infected alone, but is thrown back into the fight by Venom.

Unfortunately, Carnage is there waiting to pounce. He plunges a tendril into Mac's back and DIGS around to get that spine. There's no need to leave anything to the imagination as the blood spurts out, Gargan screams in agony and Kasady looks like he's having the goddamned time of his life. Mayer and Martin's colors and inks really sell just how violent all of this is. It's almost gross just how close they get the color right and how dark the scene is. Miles swoops in to save him, but… no good deed goes unpunished.

Absolute Carnage absolutely does what it set out to do. I have never been more afraid for the Marvel Universe than I am right now. Of course, there have been universal threats, but with how close and personal this feels and the looming feeling of dread knowing that Knull is THIS close to returning is mortifying. Normally a villain will just kill a hero or destroy them and whatnot, but Carnage wants nothing but massacre. If there's not torture and blood then what is it all worth?

Everything that Cates and Stegman have been building to has lead us here. To say that it's beginning to lay off would be an understatement. The dividends of fear are fore more exponential than anyone could have anticipated and this will likely go down as one of the greatest Venom/Carnage stories ever written. Absolute High Recommend.

[crypticbeliever123]

MFU (The Marvel Fanfic Universe)

I have an idea to create a multi-fic multiverse based off of Marvel characters that will honestly be quite the undertaking but I personally believe would be well worth it if I can actually finish it and below are some ideas I had for it with character names (and a couple major things) bolded so as to make it easier to find info on more preferred characters

This Marvel Fanfic Universe or MFU as I call it, starts not with Iron Man like the MCU, but instead with Spider-Man

in this Peter Parker is Tony Stark’s biological son but they aren’t all that close and Tony is not a mentor to Spider-Man at all and may or may not find out Peter is Spider-Man until his college years

Hawkeye is deaf in his first appearance and all subsequent ones except for a prequel giving his origin story that involves the loss of his hearing that I have already titled Hawkeye and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week (that title is based off Clint’s brother Barney going behind his back to work with Hydra and SHIELD chasing after him and the general craziness that ensues NOT because he goes deaf in this story) (also that title is just perfect for Clint’s character. Let’s be honest if there’s any character with worse luck than Peter Parker, it’s Clint Barton)

Loki and Thor have a better relationship in this wherein Loki was given the assignment of Agent of Asgard by Frigga when they were younger so that Loki could have an important role and help bring about more stability between the 9 realms especially on the Frost Giant front and Loki’s first appearance as a “villain” is really just him trying to accelerate the lesson his brother’s supposed to be learning on Midgard and every instance of villainy later on is just the two of them trolling the Avengers in a (totally not at all a real threat) prank where Loki plays up the part of malicious trickster god rather than the not malicious but just mischievous trickster god that he is in this (Odin rolls his eye every time Heimdall tells him of their shenanigans)

Wolverine and Professor X meet in the Korean War (Charles Xavier canonically was drafted to the war and Canada fought in the war and I thought it would be fun if they met there when Charles was young and for him to be kind of a spoiled rich kid until Logan figures out he’s a mutant and takes it upon himself to turn the kid from a kind of stuck up 19 year old to more the kind of person we know Professor X to be) and Charles later refers to Logan as the greatest man he’s ever known and credits him for inspiring the creation of the Xavier Institute as Logan was the first mutant he ever met and made some good points about how important it is for young mutants to be properly taught and nurtured so they don’t turn out evil

Because Charles Xavier is 19 in roughly 1951 and the X-Men stories will (unless I get sidetracked and can’t start the MFU this year) start in 2020 that means Charles will be 88 years old at the start and might die of old age at some point along the way assuming the X-Men story arcs don’t kill him first. Might kill him off in the Apocalypse arc and have it done by either Nightcrawler (the Horseman of Death) or Archangel (the Horseman of War)

Spider-Gwen and Miles Morales will probably get stories of their own after Spider-Verse

In Miles’ universe Doc Ock will be based off the Spider-Verse movie as that version is just freaking awesome and I might go with the punchclock villain trope that one other post talked about (if anyone has a link to that post I’d love to edit it in here with a link)

Might also do a Spider-Man 2099 story but would have to read his comics first to get a feel of what that character and his enemies are like

Agent Venom will get a storyline as well as some alterations to his family history involving his mother and his birth in general

Captain America will be cloned by Red Skull in order to create Captain Hydra who will convince Bucky, Falcon, and Black Widow that he’s actually Steve and that he’s always secretly been working for Hydra until he torments Bucky so much that he isn’t sure what’s true or not anymore and checks himself into a mental institute (yes, Cap’s clone really is an evil dick)

Fallout from a Superior Spider-Man story arc will actually show Peter dealing with grief from Ock ruining his relationship with MJ and upending his life as well as quite possibly coming to terms with the fact that none of his friends or family noticed that he wasn’t himself for over a year

Might do a Defenders story if I read more comics with those characters in them so I know how to write them

Wiccan and Speed from the Young Avengers will be clones of Wanda and Pietro respectively (with Billy being a trans boy since a gender-swap generated clone only really works with female clone of a man where you can say you just copy-pasted the X chromosome rather than built an entire Y chromosome from scratch or stole one from her brother thereby technically making the clone kinda sorta their genetic lovechild which... ya know... ew) rather than Wanda’s magically created twin sons whose souls were pieces of Mephisto that were taken back by Mephisto and yet SOMEHOW managed to reincarnate despite the fact a lack of existing souls should have made that impossible because clones of Wanda and Pietro makes a hell of a lot more sense to me as to why one of Wanda’s sons would have the appearance and powers of her brother even though they’re supposed to be Vision’s kids too than the comics canon version of events that just. Do. Not. Understand. How. Reincarnation. Works. If the souls were taken back and reabsorbed by a demon then there is nothing left to reincarnate! (as you can see I have some strong feelings regarding this topic)

Because I’m setting the first stories in roughly the present day (2020, hopefully) and the Infinity Saga closer to 2035 and the Guardians of the Galaxy play such a big role in making the rest of the characters aware of the threat of Thanos, Peter Quill may have been born in the early 2000s and thus his taste in music is a result of his mom playing a bunch of music she liked as a kid and that music reminding him of her, rather than music from his own generation

Adam Warlock, in a very convoluted plot line that I may change or keep as is to match the weirdness and insanity that is the comic book industry, will exist as some sort of mutant alien teen clone of Peter Quill with the Soul Gem embedded in his forehead (multiple jokes will ensue about how he’s physically as old as Peter is maturity-wise and yet is somehow less childish than him)

Deadpool is a recurring character in most if not all of these stories

The Fantastic Four don’t show up until near the end of the MFU arc during the Infinity Saga because they’d spent the entirety of all this travelling the multiverse and other dimensions as a family

Might have “With great power there must also come great responsibility” being a recurring theme in the MFU with Logan learning the line from Steve during WWII and then passing the line onto Charles Xavier and perhaps to Richard Parker (Peter’s stepfather in this) who makes it his signature line that Ben Parker keeps alive as he and May raise Peter (Tony is terrified to death of becoming his father and abusing Peter and refused custody because of this but still pays ample child support) and have Peter start the very first line of the first MFU story with the line and end the last story with a repeat of that line while saying something about how every hero lives by it either knowingly or unknowingly

[traincat]

So I’ve seen your suggestion that Miles should take over Amazing Spider-Man as lead character and as the de-facto, Miles expert, I felt a need to chime in.

While I am all for allowing Miles more exposure in spite of me being picky about the depiction of his character in said exposure, I don’t necessarily feel that Miles taking the lead in what has been Peter’s book since it’s inception would help things for the character or his fans. As someone who has followed several minority leads who take over the mantle of white person such as Amadeus and Riri and Sam Wilson, what cost those characters clout was that they were treated as successors instead of legacies versus Miles who had a more complete transition(Peter died and he is from another universe). Miles isn’t 616 Peter’s successor. He has existed alongside 616 and has stood comfortably on his own as a character for over a decade. Hence why he is still standing and still has the critical success versus a Silk, a Spider-Gwen, or a Ben Reilly.

Miles very much stays in his own lane. If you want to read his comics, they put his name on the front so you don’t accidentally read the wrong Spider-Man.

Shifting the Amazing Spider-Man lead to a character that already has their own backstory established would be jarring because Miles is not like Anya, Ben, Cindy, or Kaine. He is not a clone of Peter nor is he a spawn of a storyline of Spider-Man. His story starts when a Peter’s ended. And it wasn’t like Spider-Gwen’s Peter where you get contextual clues as to his character. It was a Peter Parker story that lasted ten years that had a beginning, middle, and an end(I don’t count the resurrection because it amounts to Peter being as good as dead and taking Mary Jane with him).

I am a proponent of Miles just being completely separate from Peter and Peter’s titles. I like that Miles and Peter rarely show up in each other’s books. And I like that Miles is allowed to stand on his own. If anything, Miles should be allowed to establish himself and get more books like Peter.

But that’s just my opinion.

I think ideally what I was imagining was one of those like "mini events" Marvel likes to do now where they launch 30 new books in a desperate cash grab that'll last a few years and "change the status quo" except one I'd, you know, read. I don't think I was envisioning switching Miles over to Amazing entirely, but giving him a run on it while also keeping his own book. You're definitely someone who knows more about Miles than me though -- and I think we've had this conversation a little bit before -- so I'm letting this stand with very little commentary. Thank you for sharing!

[i-wakeupstrange]

You know, I don't know how accurate this theory is since all of my knowledge about Spider-Girl is second-hand information from people who read the books and TV Tropes, but can I just say that April's character arc becomes far more emotionally painful if Mayday happened to be the clone? Like, not to imply that would make Mayday less of a person, but in that context, April's hatred of and desire to BE Mayday culminating in MJ rejecting her becomes FAR more tragic.

It’s not quite my take on April (more on that in a minute), but if it makes the storyline mean more to you, then I think that’s great! One of the things I love most about fandom is that we can all have our own theories/interpretations.

And, for the record, the comics never do answer the question of who was the “real” Parker baby. This is as close as it gets.

Yeah. Pretty open ended. So, headcanon away!

But my take? This is what matters — not who was the “real” Parker baby.

Mayday got to have a childhood. With a loving family. April, on the other hand, woke up alone in a test tube. At sixteen. With no idea of who she was or how she got there. All she knows is a) everyone’s freaking out about her existence and b) some stranger is walking around with her face. Unlike Ben and Kaine, she doesn’t even have the memories of something better. Just secondhand accounts of “her” life written down in someone else’s journal.

And why? Because Kaine found another baby instead. Because no one even knew to look for another kid. Because Normie stumbled upon that lab when he was an adult instead of, I don’t know, accidentally walking in there when he was six or something. My point is that is that April could have had a family. Things might have turned out differently if she did. Instead she just has bad luck.

Because it could have been Mayday.

It could have been May who had to change her name. Her face. All to fit into a family that treats her like a guest (at best) or a pest (at worst). Who had no friends, unless you count the kids comparing her to her “cousin”. Unfavorably. Including the boy she’s supposed to be dating.

To me, that’s the tragedy. No wonder it all ended in tears. But that’s just my take on it.

(Well, I also think it’s possible neither of them is the “real” Baby May. I wouldn’t put that past Norman.)

[hellyeahheroes]

Ghost Spider problems

Disclaimer: the comic is not bad. Take this as constructive criticism

1. Start from the beginning

This is all you get when it comes to Gwen’s origin.

And before you say that this is mirroring Peter, no. Amazing Fantasy #15 was a fully fleshed out origin story. Amazing Spider-man #1 takes place immediately after Uncle Ben’s murder. Gwen’s origin encompasses years of her being Spider-woman with actual events that go beyond just a sparse origin. When Spider-Gwen starts, we are like coming in at the equivalent of Amazing Spider-man #300.

So Jason Latour tries to use flashbacks and detailed full page word dump expositions at the end of each issue to further fill in the gap between the shit the audience doesn’t know. The latter is quite frankly the laziest thing I’ve ever seen in writing. Rather than creating stories to establish characters and create a catalogue to their history, lets fucking just explain everything that happened in essay form.

This, til this day, pisses me off.

Anyways, when Latour did introduce a characters like a Harry Osborn, he relied on flashbacks to detail what happened. The issue however that he was simultaneously advancing a story while retroactively setting foundation of a character. One example of a past event being constructed entirely out of flashbacks: the death of Peter Parker.

In these flashbacks that are construed across multiple issues and not in chronological order of either the issue nor the flashback, Latour basically shows the audience for the first time Peter’s personality, how Gwen was after her dad indirectly told her about his feeling about Spider-Woman, and a little about their high school life.

The problem with this is that Latour relied on the interpretation of 616 Spider-man characters when he didn’t elaborate on their character for characters like George Stacy, J. Jonah Jameson, and Aunt May while simultaneously hiding behind the excuse of it’s an alternate universe to explain why characters are different. This comes with accusations of character shilling since he portrayed Em Jay as a selfish self-centered person, Peter as an arrogant misanthrope, but Gwen completely escapes her negative 616 characterization and comes off looking better.

So Spider-Gwen really doesn’t have an origin story. And no one actually bothered to make one even 4 years later.

2. Alternate Dimensions convolutes stories

Traveling to another dimension to just fucking go to school is cop out. Granted, the explanation as to why it was done was simply because Gwen doesn’t have a secret identity anymore, but okay, far be it for me from wanting a good time. It would have been more interesting if she persisted in trying to go to school in her universe while being known as Spider-woman, anxiety attacks be damned. “Man fuck consequences of a plot point, let’s just create a specific scenario to avoid them” is what McGuire decided to do. Didn’t even bother to retcon. Just fucking noped it.

MJ says what I’m thinking.

Barring this, it is a stretches my suspension of disbelief that ESU would enroll a girl who not only is named after a deceased student who you named a library after in memoriam but also looks like the girl who died and is around the same age. Oh and also, you hired the guy who looks exactly like her mentor who went on to practice unethical experiments and tried to conquer the world with them at one point but he has a different name so...

Granted, Latour twice left Spider-Gwen in a hole. He wasted Gwen revealing her identity to her father for the introduction of the character and Gwen then revealing her identity to the world to defeat Matt Murderdock kind of screwed the pooch. First, there has to be a way for Gwen to defeat him without sacrificing her identity like exonerating herself from being blamed for Peter’s death because clearly she’s innocent(self-defense and saving kids from some incel white boy turned monster is not an jailable offense).

Regardless, McGuire was dealt a shitty hand that nuked any possibility of continuing any story developments in E-65 without Gwen being under constant danger. I, for one, would welcome it and had Gwen continue to try, it would have made shit interesting.

But this is also taking away Gwen from her own supporting cast that she has had since the beginning and also from her setting. The more she is in 616, the less I am going to see of the Mary Janes. The less I see of Harry although I don’t mind that. The less I see of any character that was established in her series. And honestly, those new characters could have been introduced in her own setting. Hell, E-65 Jackal could have been a college professor at E-65 ESU without Gwen knowing if she attended there.

Why are we choosing to avoid superhero drama in a superhero comic book?

3. Don’t rely on 616 Gwen Stacy while simultaneously declaring this Gwen as a different character

For all intents and purposes, the Death of Gwen Stacy has nothing to do with Spider-Gwen. This book and her fans will deflect any criticism about the lack of parallels between Gwen Stacy’s death and Peter’s death by saying Spider-Gwen is not the same as Gwen. You sit there and complain that all Gwen Stacy is known for is dying yet you commentate using a completely amended character while simultaneously avoiding the literal hundred of issues of character that 616 Gwen previously had before her death.

If you read the Night Gwen Stacy Died as a stand-alone, what you did was the equivalent of watching the Red Wedding without the three seasons leading to the event.

Spider-Gwen can’t go five issues without harping on about every miserable or unhappy or dead Gwen in some other universe. It comes to a culmination that writers want to tie Spider-Gwen to 616 Gwen Stacy so much that she is actively going to school in 616. The same school that Gwen attended and has a library named after her in memoriam, and apparently her creepy stalker teacher still teaches at albeit with a different identity because no one apparently recognizes faces anymore.

This doesn’t redeem Gwen. In fact, you proved Gerry Conway’s point. 616 Gwen is so unlikeable that you’d have to completely change her character to make her not worth throwing off the bridge.

Point is that Spider-Gwen treading the stories of Gwen Stacy defeats the purpose of separating the two in personality. What happens if Kindred is revealed to be the ressurrected Gwen Stacy while Gwen basically caught treading her stories instead of continuing her own?

4. The Jackal? Fucking really?

Personal, but point still stands. I fucking hate the Jackal. Jackal is like the catalyst of feeling like you need to take a shower afterwards. Along with the Inherentors, this is one of the villains that go to far in being made for a specific purpose in that they really don’t have a motivation as to just why do they do the things they do other than to be a bad guy.

Warren Miles is a creepy professor with an almost paedophillic obsession with his barely legal and also dead mentee, 616 Gwen Stacy. And it’s only almost because Gwen was 19 and almost certainly would have engaged in a sexual relationship with her. I don’t buy that he saw her as his child because it’s not like Gwen was just this remarkable science prodigy that would warrant any special attention from a professor. No, she was a remarkable and hot co-Ed scientist that was in her sophomore year. He was trying to fuck her and hated that she was dating guys her age. I wouldn’t put it past him to quid quo pro her into some sick shit for grades.

And the thing about it is that this story has been done before with Mary Jane and it was more appropriate to her occupation as she was a model at the time and married to Peter Parker. She is going to get the attention of richer and skeezy men that would have the power to force her into questionable shit. Hollywood is pretty much a glorified sex trafficking ring, don’t @ me. Far be it for me to say male professors don’t abuse their station on women and sure, I’d like a Spider-Man story to explore that, but Jackal takes it to a whole other that defiles the memory of a dead girl. It is basically a type of necrophilia and ew ew ew ew.

His obsession with Gwen and clones doesn’t foil Peter in anyway. It literally carries this creepy and unsettling implication that if Gwen lived, he would have raped her. There has never been a good Jackal storyline. It is literally the CJ meme every time he appears. He is not an engaging or fun.

Guess who is the first villain Gwen faces in 616.

Why people insist on putting him in anything over more thematically appropriate and fun characters is beyond me. I don’t even mind 65 Jackal. He doesn’t seem to interested in teenaged girls. He just wants to kill her like a proper super villain from what I gather. But of course, we had to not be spared from the comic equivalent of taint that is Miles Warren.

@ubernegro

[comixconnection]

Counter Monkey John Arminio reviews ‘Spider-Man: Life Story’

Writer Chip Zdarsky (Daredevil, Invaders, Sex Criminals) won the Eisner Award for Best Single Issue/One-Shot for his Peter Parker: Spectacular Spider-Man #310 (Zdarsky did the art on that issue as well) at this year's San Diego Comic-Con. It was much deserved, as the issue wrapped up that series with a story that was as humorous as it was touching, about not only the effect one man can have on those around him, but on the effects random encounters can have on our own lives. It also addressed the difficulties of being Spider-Man, how his public face can be so divisive; a hero to many, a villain to others, and how the ripple effects of his every action can have unforeseen, infinite destinations in a city as interconnected as New York. To be able to encapsulate all this in a single issue spoke to a deep and profound understanding of the character, so it is both fitting and tragic that issue #310 was the last of the series (but don't worry, you can currently pick up that issue, contained in Peter Parker: Spectacular Spider-Man, vol. 4: Coming Home at Comix Connection right now!). While Zdarsky has certainly stayed busy writing a wide swath of characters for Marvel, as well as several creator-owned projects, he is still plying his unique brand of brilliant superhero insight on the miniseries Spider-Man: Life Story. The comic is a sort of "What If?" series in which, as in the original Amazing Fantasy #15, Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider in 1962, but instead of staying perpetually youthful in the style of comic book storytelling, he ages through history as a normal person (as does the entire Marvel universe).

What does life hold for a middle-aged Peter Parker? An elderly Spider-Man? How does our perception of a teenage Peter change knowing we will see him grow old? In Life Story, he only has one chance to be a high school and college student, a young professional, and a newlywed, as opposed to the thousands of Spidey tales we've seen of those particular times in his life since the character made its debut. Each action is more precious in Life Story, so when Peter is late for a date with Mary Jane or misses an appointment to take Aunt May to the doctor because being Spider-Man has, once again, ripped him away from his duties as part of the Parker family, it's forever, as opposed to next month when he'll get another chance. Peter's relationship to historical events is given added weight as well. The first issue deals largely with his decision on whether or not to enter the Vietnam war, especially considering the added power his spider-abilities give him. Of course, his classmate and rival Flash Thompson has signed up to fight, but Peter doesn't even know if that is the correct decision. This is his generation's conflict, both on the battlefield halfway around the world and at home, in the hearts and minds of human and superhuman alike. Zdarsky is able to crystallize that conflict via superheroes, and it's an original, compelling take on a story so many have told before. Seeing how the stories we know so well change or stay the same as Peter acquires both age and wisdom is fascinating to read. The famous Black Suit, for example, acquired during the industry-changing comic event that was Secret Wars, has an entirely different context if the Peter Parker donning the suit is well into adulthood, a family man, even approaching middle-age, as opposed to a young man. Faced with the inevitable diminishing of his physical abilities because of age, the added responsibility of having a family, and the knowledge of the unfathomable, cosmic threats the events of Secret Wars revealed to him, the powerful enhancements afforded him by the Black Suit are put in a completely different light. Sure, the suit infects his mind, is a living thing with its own agenda and therefore causes him to act more violently towards criminals and his family alike, but how can he afford to abandon it? He's a hero. He has to make sacrifices. How long before his body fails him? Won't he need that extra boost of power to defeat whatever is... out there, waiting to kill him and everything he loves?

Special attention should also be paid to the stellar artistry of Mark Bagley on Spider-Man: Life Story. He is a modern artist, to be sure, one in line with the sensibilities of comic books in the 21st Century, but there is something so classic and timeless about his art that seeing him work his magic on events written in past decades, about past decades, is incredibly striking. It certainly helps the reader transport themselves to the era the story takes place in. His line work certainly does not call to mind Spider-Man's co-creator Steve Ditko, but the reader can feel Bagely's connection to Peter Parker's comic book DNA in every line he draws. Bagley's style is very representational, but that does not limit his expansive imagination. His changes to character costumes, some subtle and some drastic, always feel true to the characters who don them. Perhaps his greatest achievement here is how he ages his characters. Bringing Peter Parker from adolescent to middle-age while bringing, for example, Tony Stark from middle-age to senior citizen, while keeping true to the design aesthetics established in the book (and their respective histories) is a monumental task. Oh yeah, and he has to tell an exciting, emotional super-hero story set in a new time period every issue. If all that doesn't deserve an Eisner nomination in 2020, I don't know what does.

What Zdarsky and artist Mark Bagley are able to achieve with Spider-Man: Life Story is nothing short of remarkable. Comic books is a medium particularly given to nostalgia, especially with a character so iconic, so beloved, and, frankly, so old as Spider-Man. We all want our new Spider-Man stories to make us feel like they did when we were first getting to know the character. We all know how he "should" be written, and we all have different notions of what that ideal Spider-Man is. So retelling the events of Spider-Man's past, from his awkward youth to the Clone Saga to the Inheritors, seems like it could be an empty nostalgia exercise, one that could be totally unoriginal or anger fans who hold those stories sacred. Life Story avoids all such pitfalls, forming a narrative that uses what the reader knows (or what we think we know) about the character and creating new, emotionally rich tales that move us. Even with more modern stories, or ones that we might not look back on as fondly as others, are put on equal footing in Zdarsky's writing because they play an equally important part of Peter's life. From Vietnam to psychic vampires, Peter's trauma (and the trauma of his family) from being a superhero is on display in every issue, not just the ones with the "real" Spider-Man stories. The conflicts between friends and family are given added weight as well. If Peter has a disagreement with Tony Stark, Reed Richards, or Aunt May, it's doubly tragic because, just like in real life, that person might be dead in the next ten years (i.e. the next issue). Funerals are forever in Spider-Man: Life Story, but that makes every day Peter spends with his family all the more precious. Accordingly, Zdarsky and Bagley might not have hundreds of issues to tell their spider-epic, but that makes each of these six precious as well.

I wanted to get this review completed and posted before the last issued came out to give people a chance to catch up. Issue #5 of Spider-Man: Life Story was just released on July 17th, and the final issue is set to arrive on August 28th. If you missed an issue and want to catch up, most of the series went into 2nd or 3rd printings, so it is still readily available as of this writing. If you want to make sure to get the series all at once, the complete miniseries will be collected in trade paperback and released on October 23rd, available for pre-order now. 5 *thwips* out of 5

[ultimate-miles]

Spider-Men II (2017) - Or, the comic book that shouldn’t exist

Spider-Men II is a meandering, unfocused mess of lukewarm ideas with no pay-off, that dabbles in colorism and whitewashing.

Somewhere around the “Venom Wars” and the “Spider-Man no More” arc, there was a sharp decline in the quality of writing for Ultimate Comics Spider-Man. At the crux of it was the death of Miles Morales’ mother – Rio Morales – and the emotional bullying of a kid who wanted nothing to do with superheroing following the death of his mother, but was battered into thinking otherwise by the female clone of Peter Parker (Jessica Drew), Gwen Stacy, and his friend, Ganke Lee. 

If “Venom Wars” was the signal that things were going south in the writing department, the death kneel for Miles Morales’ storyline truly began with the story arc “Spider-Man No More”, which was lead directly into a discombobulated series of story arcs that preluded and finalized the death of the Ultimate Universe.

Since then, Bendis’ take on the character – who had a fairly solid start (from Issues #1-19 of UCSM) – declined in a way that I can only describe as a writer simply losing interest in their pet project and disregarding how he handled the character from thereon out. There was no emotional investment in Miles’ day-to-day life, his family unit, friends, and etc. like there was for Ultimate Peter Parker. Ultimate Spider-Man was, as far as Marvel comic title goes, was fully realized story. But, if we’re being honest, Bendis also didn’t have to do a lot of thinking for Peter’s stories because they were often retreads of plots written fifty-sixty years before his time at Marvel.

With Miles Morales, Bendis, was, to some degree, flying blind and more or less had an open field of possibly and stories to play out. He could’ve created a legit mythology for Miles. Yet, when you boil it down, if Miles wasn’t being thrown into a “Blockbuster Event” meant to boost title sales then he was often standing in the shadow of some version of Peter Parker or Peter Parker’s family members in his own title. Simply put: Miles could not be Spider-Man in the same way Denzel Washington’s The Equalizer couldn’t Jason Bourne the hell out of bad guys without the say so of a white authority. Every time Miles’ story circles back to Peter Parker, the limitations of Bendis’ imagination with his Black Male Superhero was clear.

I don’t think anything encapsulates this more than the unwarranted sequel to Ultimate Marvel’s 2012 miniseries, Spider-Men: Spider-Men II – released in 2017 with about the same amount of issues to its name (five).

Spider-Men saw a then-brand new Spider-Man, a thirteen year old Miles Morales – encounter the 616 Universe version of Peter Parker, who accidentally ends up the 1610 Universe after some convenient circumstances involving the 616 version of Mysterio and a dimension hopping device.

Similar to Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #1-5 and Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #13-14, and Miles Morales: The Ultimate Spider-Man #1-7, Spider-Men #1-5 runs Miles through the third consecutive gambit of getting “The Blessing™” of someone connected to Peter Parker, or Peter Parker himself. Spider-Men is more or less about how an adult Peter Parker deals with the fact someone much younger than himself (when he started doing what he was doing) was playing the role of Spider-Man following the death of teenaged version of himself (1610 Peter Parker), and eventually accepting that. It was a fun crossover that saw Miles work alongside someone he admired, and most importantly, didn’t lose sight of its tone and who the story was about in the end (Miles).

Spider-Men II, unfortunately, does the exact same thing, but now there’s no Brand New Car Smell, the question of how Peter Parker would react to a kiddy Spider-Man has been answered and Miles has been friggin blessed, officially, four friggin times, by Peter Parker and his unit in every way you can think of.

 Whitewashing your Protagonist is a Bad Idea™

The crux of Spider-Men II is to answer the question that Miles Morales asked: “I wonder if there’s a me in your universe?” The original Spider-Men ended with 616 Peter Parker searching – online – for the existence of a Miles Morales in his universe and being “shocked” by the answer. Knowing in advance that the series was only five issues long meant that the answer Bendis would provide – almost five years after the original Spider-Men – would be both underwhelming and rushed with no satisfactory resolution to rest on.

The bread-and-butter of a comic book character is their ability to become relatively different characters or offshoots from the one that was the origin point. Marvel’s brand revolves around allowing writers to reinterpret established characters into someone radically different, or just update them for younger audiences. Sometimes this works for good, other times for bad. Anna Paquin’s Rogue isn’t 616 Rogue, 1610 Rogue isn’t X-Men Evolution’s Rogue, and so on and so forth.

Where the reinterpretation of a character becomes an issue is when it begins to erase a marginalized identity. It would be common sense among anyone with enough sensitively and the ability to look beyond themselves to know: You don’t reinterpret a Black character – like Virgil Hawkins or Ororo Munroe – into a white or non-Black character, you don’t reinterpret an LGBT character – like Renee Montoya or John Constantine – into a Heterosexual character, you don’t reinterpret a female character into a male character. White or male or female characters? Most of the time their fair game – with reservation (Heathers is a perfect example) – there’s usually nothing remarkable or unique about those characters because they’re representative of the norm, the thing people have been socialized to sympathize and empathize with.

Unfortunately, Brian Michael Bendis and Sara Pichelli are white, so they have neither sensitivity nor the ability to look beyond themselves. Spider-Men II confirms that, yes, there is a 616 Miles Morales. But, he’s a criminal who makes friends with Wilson Fisk (the Kingpin), and is so light-skinned there is no resemblance to his Black counterpart. He’s just the ambiguously brown stereotype. To brazenly imply that Miles Morales was, as a lot of folk were saying when the title was being published, “Sammy Sosa’ed”, is to imply that the story was tackling the subject of learned self-hatred, self-harm, and anti-Blackness and that somehow figured into 616 Miles’ narrative. Instead, this just atypical comic book racism played straight.

There’s little reason to even sympathize with 616 Miles Morales, and the point of sympathy is merely watching him cry over a woman named Barbra Rodriguez, a gallery curator, then use his criminal enterprise, namely the hired hand Taskmaster (which counts like a DC Comics reject tbh) facilitate a means for him to travel to another dimension to be with another Barbra – who presumably hasn’t met that universal equivalent of Miles Morales. For lack of a better word, 616 Miles Morales is probably the version of Miles Morales Bendis would’ve executed if he hadn’t killed Peter Parker (lbr). He’s a terrible character and a particularly woeful answer to a question better left hanging in the air.  

There is no “Mary Jane Watson” for Miles Morales

Bendis’ attempts to provide Miles a love life has been – on all accounts – incredibly bad and unsurprisingly limited to white women. Jason Reynolds might be the only writer to tackle Miles Morales to even remotely consider that Miles’ dating pool might be predominantly Black – but, he’s also the only Black writer to tackle the character, so therein lay the problem. 

One of the biggest issues with trying to shack Miles up with a girlfriend is that his character has never been allowed to mature. Where Peter Parker (in the 616 universe, anyhow) was allowed to graduate High School and go to College before he started any serious romantic relationships (Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane) or flirtations (Felicia Hardy) and was, therefore an adult where more adult situations could occur, Miles is a teenage boy who’s mind arguably would change like the four winds about girls, but this is never reflected or explored in his title.

Add to the fact that there were no longstanding female characters in his mythology, no one Bendis planned on introducing was going to work. Then there’s the fact that most readers were probably rooting for Miles and Ganke Lee to hook up as opposed to dropping a female character on him – because they liked their dynamic and most were content to compare their relationship to Peter/Mary Jane anyway. But Marvel was gonna pull the trigger on that in the same way neither Miles or Miguel O’Hara will ever get their big media break in something that isn’t a animated film (Into the Spider-Verse), or television series usurped from them (Spider-Man Unlimited).

Early issues of Ultimate Comics Spider-Man (namely issues #12 and #19) preluded the character who would later become Ultimate Kate Bishop – Katie Bishop. Katie Bishop would play a supporting role as a then fourteen year old Miles’ girlfriend – a year after the death of Rio Morales – from issue #23 of UCSM until the end of Miles Morales: The Ultimate Spider-Man (which was only thirteen issues long). But, the persisting issue with Katie Bishop is that – unlike Mary Jane Watson (in almost any iteration of Peter Parker’s story) – she was never given any proper build-up or development as someone who would be important to Miles’ arc before the romancing starts.

She’s just dropped into the middle of his story, and audience is supposed to accept it. Then, Bendis and co. ultimately decide the only way to make this character interesting is make her the daughter of Neo-Nazi and a Neo-Nazi herself who follows the Ultimate version of Hydra. Instead of building any kind of goodwill with the reader, Bendis poisons the well altogether and sabotages the character and this was way before the bullshit he, Nick Spencer, and other writers would pull that would lead to creation of Nazi Captain America (el-oh-fucking-el).

The second attempt to give Miles a love interest was in the misfire series All-New Ultimates, wherein a fourteen year old Miles began flirting with the idea of messing around with, for all intents and purposes, a grown-ass woman named Diamondback – highlighting one of the major issues with why Miles and Romance subplots never work out. Following Miles’ move to the 616 universe, Bendis and whoever was responsible for the Spider-Gwen title tried to establish an Instant Oatmeal romance between a eighteen year old Gwen Stacy and a now fifteen/sixteen year old Miles Morales that was both misguided (Bendis really tried to justify it with the line “I’ll be seventeen in a month!” fuckin’ creep), gross and flat-out boring.

Bendis, has, summarily struck out two times in his lack of effort to create a version of “Mary Jane Watson” for Miles Morales. One was underdeveloped (Kate), the other was outright creepy and his living out the fantasy of fucking Gwen Stacy. Michel Fife’s (the writer of All-New Ultimates) creepy and halfhearted attempt to give Miles a “Black Cat” equivalent unilaterally failed with the end of the title itself. Spider-Men II, unfortunately, is Bendis’ third and final miss in the pursuit of Miles Morales’ love life and it’s a big part of why – outside of the whitewashing – Spider-Man II fails as a story.

Bendis attempts to posit that – for every universe that has a Miles Morales, there is a woman named Barbra Rodriguez that he will ultimately fall in love with. 616 Miles Morales’ entire narrative motivation – which renders 1610 Miles Morales’ side of the story completely irrelevant and void – in Spider-Man II is to escape to another universe where there is a Barbra Rodriguez, because his version of Barbra Rodriguez has died. But in the same universe (616) there’s a younger 616 Barbra Rodriguez that just shows up for no reason for 1610 Miles to swoon over. It’s so groan inducing.

Like Ultimate Kate Bishop, as an idea, Barbra Rodriguez isn’t a bad one per se. The issue is, like Ultimate Kate Bishop, that Barbra Rodriguez is dropped into the lap of the reader and expected be swallowed wholesale. In a series of panels illustrated by a perpetually bored Sara Pichelli (who’s interpretation of Miles has become, honestly, more and more ape-like than anything resembling the stellar character design she and David Marquez started out with, but only Marquez remained faithful to before his departure from Miles’ story) in something that resembles the image of the conceited little girl from Monster House selling Halloween candy to a neighborhood she doesn’t live in, the reading audience is meant to believe Miles falls in love with Barbra.

Barbra Rodriguez is a painfully unwritten and boring character to the point where I don’t think you can call her a character – just a prop for a half-baked romance subplot that doesn’t involve the version of Miles Morales readers have picked the book up for. As a character, she brings nothing to the table, as a prop she’s not even interesting. Bendis tries to pull the Star Crossed Lovers Xena-level Soulmates position without ever earning it and as a result Barbra is forgettable. Maybe if he actually introduced her in his last outing for Miles instead of creating a walking stereotype of a grandmother, this might’ve worked better. As it is, Barbra Rodriguez is a last minute thought the story itself fails to capitalize on for anything other than manpain.

Miles Morales isn’t Peter Parker, so naturally, he will never have a Mary Jane Watson. Not even on a metaphorical level, or for the sake of comparison. I honestly think that the only character, if it had to be a woman and not Ganke Lee, that would’ve worked, would probably be Bombshell (Lana Baumgartner). She’s the only female character within his age group he’s actually interacted with and established a genuine relationship. 

616 Peter Parker is an Asshole

Peter Parker’s interaction with a then thirteen year old Miles Morales was a fairly fun read. I liked the idea of Peter indirectly promoting himself to temporary mentor because he’s a grown man overly worried about the fact that someone far younger he was superheroing and largely in the memory of even younger version of himself – who he can’t quite deal with being dead (because it’s him). It was cute. The rationale behind Peter’s actions made sense, and it didn’t overstay its welcome.

Peter in Spider-Men II is a jerk for almost no reason. Because the narrative begins in medias res, with Miles and Peter arguing about how they got tied upside down, the reader spends a great deal of their time wondering why the hell Peter is being so antagonistic with Miles – to the point where he bluntly tells Miles that his being Spider-Man was a “mistake”.

Spider-Men II does not really answer this question – but instead spends the bulk of its first two issues being evasive about the issue altogether (because issues #3 and #4 are dedicated to 616 Miles Morales and his relationships with Barbra and Kingpin, with issue #5 “wrapping” things up for 616 Miles). Recapping that Peter Parker searched and presumably found Miles Morales in his universe before the implosion of the UM, Spider-Men II then has Peter pretending to help Miles locate the 616 version of himself, going as far enlisting the help of Jessica Jones – who summarily tells them there are no traces of a Miles Morales equivalent to even be worried about.

Because the reader is either meant to believe or knows that Peter is lying or being dishonest with Miles, a lot of their dynamic is artificial. Whatever Bendis managed to capture with the first crossover event between the two characters has vanished altogether. A lot of the time Peter Parker – who I keep forgetting is basically a diet soda version of Tony Stark, right down to wearing an armored suit with a glowing symbol and owning his own billion dollar franchise (Parker Industries) – comes off as condescending and a spandex wearing asshole. An asshole operates on the belief that he has the right and authority to tell a now fifteen year old Miles Morales when and when he can’t be Spider-Man.

Even weirder, instead of shutting that nonsense down, Miles takes it on the chin is more less like, “aww, gee, I guess you’re right, I’ll go be depressed now” even as Peter offers him a half-hearted apology and Miles can only say “well, you said it”. It’s the equivalent of Cyclops telling Storm she can’t be the leader of the X-Men, but without the holy retribution of Cyclops being smote with lightning. Like, I spend a grand bulk of this series – which doesn’t even legitimately resolve or explore the fraught dynamic between the two – wishing Peter Parker would fall into a hole and die. Peter Parker’s character in this title is downright insufferable. I miss John Romita Jr. and that other guy’s Peter Parker, but I hear he died in the Civil War. 

MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

Behind all the mess that is the core of Spider-Men II, there was a fairly interesting idea to explore. Bendis really could’ve focused on how the two Miles Morales dealt with existing in the same space. He could’ve dealt with how Miles was coping with having his mother back, and living in a universe that was not his own – and how the death of the Ultimate Marvel universe affected him.

If he had established Barbra Rodriguez before this miniseries, he could’ve actually dedicated the time barely spent on her to simply furthering the relationship that should’ve started way before this story.

As it stands? 1610 Miles Morales and his exploits are more or less an afterthought to the core of the story itself. Peter Parker is a billionaire asshole throughout most of the plot and honestly not even required to tell the story. You can remove him from any and all plot points involving the “who is 616 Miles Morales?”, Jessica Jones, and the conflicts with Taskmaster, and nothing would change. He is irrelevant.

There’s too much time spent on the whitewashed version of Miles Morales – something that both hinders and illustrates just how far gone Bendis’ writing for Miles has diminished since 2013. 616 Miles Morales wasn’t a bad idea, but the execution of the character is fairly horrendous and racist.

Almost no one talked about Spider-Men II when it was released, almost in the same way there was barely an eye bated when the confusingly branded Spider-Man title (Miles’s 616 outing) was released in 2016 (beyond the “who cares if I’m Black?” bullshit). Everyone was talking about Spider-Men and Ultimate Comics Spider-Man when they were released, a lot of people liked it, some didn’t, but it was rather an indicator of its quality. The almost unilateral silence even Miles Morales fans visited upon Spider-Man and Spider-Men II rather speaks volumes of how bad it got.

I don’t recommend this to anyone who is a Miles Morales fan. You’re better off pretending Spider-Men never got a sequel.