#since she's technically God and i think God is probably the only one to whom edits to the book of life don't affect

[yellow-faerie]

Wow, I have a fic description and a fic title before I've even established a proper fic plot

(this is probably because I'm very excited about this fic and it's potential...)

Edit:

Here are my tags because I started explaining the plot and want it actually in the post rather than just the tags lol:

[gallusrostromegalus]

Who has the best relationship with their zanpakutou? Who has the worst? Does anyone have a Beyond Friendship relationship? As in not only romantic or sexual, but something more sibling-like, or perhaps parental in either direction?

Hmmm... I wouldn't have a "best" relationship because there's many, many ways to do a relationship right, but definitely the worst is Mayuri, because Jizo is his parole officer that he kidnapped when he broke out of Hell and BOY HOWDY DOES THAT COME TO BITE HIM IN THE ASS.

As for "beyond friendship", most of them are in the sense that once you've fought and nearly died with someone by your side, "friends" is quite the right description. But to cite a few examples:

Yamamoto and Ryujin Jakka straddle the line between D&D warlock, and D&D paladin - Ryujin chose Yamamoto, amd for a long, long time Yamamoto did not understand WHY. Things got better and worse when he finally grokked why the spirit of change wanted to be wielded by the guy to whom the responsibility of founding civilization.

Rangiku Matsumoto is a strange and very private woman despite the act she puts on, and Haineko is one of exactly two people in the whole world who really understands her. On the other hand, nobody can piss you off quite like someone who really, truly knows you.

Probably the closest relationship is between Unohana and Minazuki. They've been partners for over a millennium, they laid waste to many enemies together, nearly died together several times, went to medical school together and even shared lovers. Where Unohana's soul ends and Minazuki's begins is... Unclear. There are days when they wake up and it's Minazuki weilding their body and Unohana in the scabbard, as it were. This is largely a non-issue; Minazuki is a doctor too.

Hyorinmaru is practically the Deuteronomy of zanpaktou- he's an ancient sword who has had many wielders. It's a lot of pressure for Toshiro, but hyorinmaru also has a lot of practice at this, and the relationship between them is not unlike a doting grandfather and his beloved and dutiful grandson.

Suzembachi is Soi Fon's Emotional Support Giant Murder Hornet and BY GOD the girl needs all the help she can get.

It took FOREVER to figure out what the hell was going on with Kenpachi, because while theoretically possible, it hadn't actually happened before- Zaraki Kenpachi is a Tsukumogami that died in the living world, and reincarnated as a human in spirit world.

SPECIFICALLY, he was a Holy Sword that had been around for 500 years* seen much battle and developed a revered soul before [REDACTED] and he asked to be ritually destroyed. He reincarnated in the spirit world in the best of one of the Great Eagles, but fortunately for him, all birds are a little bit stupid even if they're also technically Gods, and since the infant was the same size, shape and furiously screaming as he chicks, She Who Rules The Sky decided to just start shoving meat into his mouth too. Sometime after he grew up and his sisters had fleged, he left the nest to travel and hang out with his fellow humans, and eventually decided to give himself a name and raise a daughter, as humans do. They wandered around for many years as humans do, until circumstances resulted in his violent arrival to the court guard.

While off, none of this specifically worried Yamamoto until hyorinmaru was talking to him one day.

"...what do you think Zaraki is becoming?" The dragon asked him one afternoon while they watched Toshiro practice spar with Sasikibe.

"Becoming?" Yamamoto shrugged. "With the damn central 46 banning him from learning Kendo, he's becoming a Damn Nuisance."

Hyorinmaru sighs, a noise like a dam threatening to fail. "You did not notice? Zaraki has spent 500 years as a sword, 500 as an eagle or suchlike beast, and after he named himself and Yachiru, he spent 500 years as a man. And THEN he turned up here."

"I suppose, what of it?" Yamamoto shrugged, watching Toshiro's footing.

"With all due respect to the wielder of fire, when I was a worm, I spent 500 years on land, and then 500 years at sea, and then *I* became a DRAGON, sir." Hyorinmaru explained.

Yamamoto did not actually move, but he was no longer watching the boy.

"-with 500 years each as object, animal and man, Kenpachi surely has become SOMETHING. What is running lose through your court guard, I wonder?"

[alicelufenia]

Thinking about my last reblog and how Baldur's Gate 3 character creation kinda fucked with my perception of paladins in the bg3 setting (it's specific version of the Forgotten Realms at least)

Since paladins don't get to select a deity at CC, I got the impression that paladins who's oath was not sworn before any particular god were more common than they really are.

There's technically a "Paladin of X" tag in game for dialogue, but the ONLY way to get it without mods is to also take a level of cleric and select a deity that way.

So when I made Alice as essentially a renegade paladin whose oath was sworn before no one except through her own conviction and fervor to self-actualize (she's Oath of Glory in canon) and that manifested divine power anyway, turns out that's really weird and uncommon in setting where most paladins swear an oath before a deity, and thus presumably are bound to tenets dictated by said deity (or the order of paladins they belong to, whether that reflects the true will of the god or not)

This is, in my defense, NOT how it works in tabletop 5e, where paladins select an oath but are not required to pick a deity (they still can pick one like many characters do, even those with no levels in divine casters). Giving a paladin a deity is more a nod to tradition, but RAW you're free to hold an oath without following a faith, just like you can be any alignment regardless of your oath (except maybe oathbreaker. BG3 even turns that on it's head by making it possible to be 'Good' as an oathbreaker, even restoring your oath, which isn't a thing in tabletop unless it's to repent for breaking it but without going full oathbreaker subclass)

Enter the most prominent paladin in Baldur's Gate 3, Minthara

Don't have any art saved to my phone so enjoy plushthara instead

She originally swore her oath of vengeance while in service to Lolth, to seek out and eliminate the enemies of the faith in Menzoberranzan (essentially part of the Lolthite Inquisition). This, by the way, is why she's so insightful when it comes to the other companions; it was literally her job to get good at reading people to find out what their deal was.

Her crusade against the enemies of Lolth led her and an army of House Baenre soldiers to Moonrise Towers, but instead of putting an end to the Absolute cult, she was captured, tortured for days, her soldiers killed or enthralled, and finally tadpoled and made to turn all that religious ferver and devotion towards serving the Absolute.

For this failure, Lolth abandoned her. As a Lolth-sworn drow (a problematic term basically made up for bg3 but works here) losing Lolth's favor is the most devastating thing possible, and there's almost no chance of going back. After being released from command of the Absolute by the Prism, she was, spiritually, alone for probably the first time in 250+ years of memory. Unless you come from a religious background only to lose faith later in life, you can't imagine what that's like (I don't ftr, but this is how I have come to understand it based on @spiderwarden's analysis)

And yet, despite this severing from a god that works Her way into every facet of Udadrow life, her oath endures. She remains a faithless (really faith-orphaned), but still undeniably spiritual paladin, bound to an oath that, for now, has her carrying out the same objective that sent her out of the Underdark before—destroy the cult of the Absolute, and seize that godlike power from those who control it.

When you rescue Minthara after romancing her in act 1, she says "You came. I prayed that you would, but there are no gods left for me." That raw-as-fuck line also spells out her current relationship to religion; IF a god would have her, she would be devoted. She even calls out to Lolth who, if the Spider Queen were to somehow take her back, she would in a heartbeat. With none answering her, she has no one but her savior, Tav/Durge, and their companions (whom she is now oath-bound to help whether she likes them or not)

And her natural inclination is to channel all that hurt, all that resentment and humiliation at being left with no divinity to know and to be known, into abject RAGE. Though she doesn't show it, I believe she is angrier and meaner NOW than she's ever been in life. That's why she talks about spitting on a shrine to Lolth, why she disapproves of offering tithe to any god at the Stormshore Tabernacle. Why she wants to BECOME a god, to become Absolute.

Hate is love betrayed. And I believe she had a LOT of love for Lolth.

Anyway this started as me musing on the spiritual nature of 5e paladin oaths in bg3, and kinda turned into character analysis for Minthara. Still, as the game's biggest example of a paladin who no longer serves any god but still commands divine powers to ⚔️SMITE Evil⚔️ by her oath, I think it came around in the end.

[jo-harrington]

Standard Operating Procedures 1.02 (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: You get to meet Eddie's friends.

Previous Part: Standard Operating Procedures 1.01

Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. Fluffy, silly, mutual pining, slowish burnish. Allusions to more of Eddie's trauma/shitty people being shitty that will probably come up later. Some silly, goofy "boys will be boys" moments with Corroded Coffin.

Note: I keep introducing new characters and I'm sorry. (I mean it's only 2 at this point...3? I't doesn't matter. It's my party and I will have a million side characters if I want to.) But Welcome to SOP 1.02, the second of what will be many nights out with Eddie and Store Manager.

I know I'm posting this one after Corrective Action, but it technically comes before it. I'm working on writing chronologically...it is just taking a hot minute. I'm like a Time Lord, my brain doesn't work that way. One day we will catch up to Closing Time and then it doesn't have to be mutual pining and cute friendship/early relationship stuff, it can be love and fluff and probably some more angstier angst and filthy smut.

Besides I just love their goofy little date nights. And I needed to write something fluffy and lighthearted since this weekend seems to be angsty chapter fest elsewhere in the fic world. (iykyk. I love it, I just need some silliness.)

You can find my masterlist here for more featuring our resident Store Manager and all of my other random Eddie Headcanons.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

“What time are you off tonight?”

“Uhhh,” you looked up at Eddie as he jogged into the store, partially out of breath. You were halfway through a piercing, but couldn’t possibly be annoyed at his appearance; he was quickly becoming one of your favorite people, after all.

Besides, it was another long, busy day; you and your ASM had both been doing back-to-back piercings for at least two hours, and there was a practically endless line at the cash wrap. With the (unexpected) success of the store, you were allowed to hire some new associates, one of whom was currently training on the register.

You welcomed the distraction that Eddie brought.

“The regular time? Why?" you asked, then paused for a second. "And sorry, but did you run up here?”

“Escalator is out of order,” he shrugged, still panting. Then under his breath “fuck, I shouldn’t skip out on gym so much.”

“The smoking is probably not doing you any favors either,” you tutted in a stage whisper and he rolled his eyes. "Give me like...a few minutes to finish up and then we can chat? And I swear to god, just wait in here please and not near the door; my conversion really sucks today."

He held up his hands innocently before shuffling off to the side to browse. You watched him for another second--admired how handsome goofy he looked--and then you turned back to the preteen in your chair. 

“Ok…you ready? Just one more time. One…two…” The girl winced a little bit as the needle punctured her ear. “I know it hurt but it wasn't too bad right? And you'll look so cool!” 

The soft “pretty” that came from her when you presented the mirror to show her the finished product a few minutes later was enough to make you smile brightly. After a quick "thank you" she skipped to the checkout line to proudly show her new earrings to her father--a man who clearly watched too much Magnum PI if the mustache and Hawaiian shirt were any indicator.

Once the station was cleaned up and you checked in with the rest of your team, you turned your attention to your visitor. You grabbed some random accessory off of one of the fixtures as you approached him.

"Excuse me sir, I think I found exactly what you need to complete your look today," you said in the entirely too bubbly way you usually spoke to customers. The one that you knew, after Eddie confessed during lunch the other day, made his skin crawl a little.

"It's a customer service voice."

"It's creepy."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he turned to you. From behind your back, you revealed a dressup headband that had fluffy red hearts wobbling on springs on either side of the head. You stood on your toes and jammed it onto his head, unable to contain your laughter as he leaned back to catch a glimpse of himself in a nearby mirror. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, but I think this really works."

He turned back to you and fluffed his hair a little. Then he held his hands below his chin while fluttering his eyelashes prettily.

“So what’s up?” You asked once he took the headband off. “I thought you were off on Fridays.”

“I am,” he nodded. “For Hellfire. But...it's a special circumstance. There's an early screening of this new movie--Day of the Dead? Did you ever see Night of the Living Dead? Of course you have, it's a classic."

"Sure."

"This ones, like, the last one of the trilogy." He had admitted to you last week that Return of the Jedi was his (secret) favorite of the Star Wars trilogy and that the last movies in trilogies were, in his opinions, the best. "Anyway it's gotta be good."

"It does sound cool." You agreed.

"Well I'm glad you think so, because I asked Jeff to get an extra ticket..." he paused and you could see the nerves settle in. "I figured...you might want to join us? If you're free after work?” 

He rambled on about his friends and how “Gareth got his license, finally, which is why we're really going out” and “Dave always screams at jump scares but it's hilarious.” Trying to convince you that they were good and cool, but you could guess what he was trying to say underneath it all.

They’re cool guys and I’m a cool guy. We're going to see a cool movie, so please don’t say no. 

After two Sunday afternoons and a handful of lunches spent together, it was still baffling to see how bashful he could become. How he still tripped up on his words and gave you every single opportunity to turn him down. To turn him away.

He told you some people were shitty to him for repeating senior year. And he worried about you finding out about some reputation he had. But even if you hadn't witnessed it yourself yet, it wasn't hard to put two and two together that, overall, people weren't very nice to him.

You knew you had been lucky; the only people to really bully you were related to you. But you still couldn't understand how people could be so cruel, especially to the absolute sweetheart in front of you who was currently rocking on his toes, and fidgeting with his rings, and avoiding your eyes as he just kept talking.

Eddie was funny, witty, cute, thoughtful, and probably hopped up on too much sugar all the time.

"...and I know it probably doesn't sound fun to go to the movies with a bunch of high school guys but--"

"No it sounds like a great time," you agreed.

"Really?" He had that deer-in-the-headlights look that you were secretly starting to enjoy. "It's not stupid?"

"No," you shook your head. "And I want to meet your friends. You kind of talk about them a lot. So it'd be nice to put faces to names."

"They might bully you for listening to Duran Duran," he warned.

Was he trying to get you to turn him down?

"Then don't tell them about that!"

"I might need to be bribed," he hummed cheekily, clearly unable to keep a smile off of his face.

"Gosh, you ask me to go to the movies with you, and now you're blackmailing me," you sighed. "Fine...I'll get you any sour candy you want. But you can't put it in the popcorn!"

He held out his hand to shake on it and you rolled your eyes as you slapped your hand into his.

He grinned and whooped in excitement, then ran out of the store. Before you could even blink, he was back and, in a move that made your heart beat a little harder in your chest, he leaned down and gave the back of your hand a very light kiss.

What?

"I'll leave you to your sparkly kingdom, your Highness," he announced with an over exaggerated, grandiose voice as he returned to his full height. "See you at 7." He then winked and ran back out.

WHAT?!

"My conversion Eddie!" You called after him once you got back to your senses.

The loud crack of his laughter echoing though the mall was just enough to make you forgive him.

---

“Ok so is this a date?” your ASM asked softly as she counted your register down before you left. "The last time it wasn't a date, but is it a date now? Movies? Sharing popcorn?"

"His friends are gonna be there. It's just...hanging out."

"Oooh, meeting some of his friends. Are you gonna sit next to him? Dark movie theater, perfect for smooching."

"Shut up. No it isn't perfect for smooching.”

"But you’re gonna sit next to him. You're avoiding eye contact, you’re nervous," she sing-songed and you groaned. "This is a date!"

Mindy was a former stay-at-home mom who got bored of being at home now that the kids were all in school. It should have been weird, managing someone almost a decade older than you, and you both voiced your concern during the interview that one would treat the other like some dumb kid. You because you were younger and didn't have as much life experience, and Mindy because she didn't have much retail experience and would be working with a bunch of teenagers. But you both agreed not to let that influence your treatment of one another.

There was mutual respect and trust.

There was also relentless teasing. On Mindy's part, at least.

"Ok, listen, I told you that he's great but he said this thing the first time we hung out."

"What thing? Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this thing?" she put her dollar-clenching hands on her hips and stared at you in a way that only a mother could.

You explained how he mentioned, specifically, that your first night out wasn't a date. How disappointed you were. How embarrassed you were that you would even entertain that idea and were now doing everything in your power not to think of him as cute and stomp all the hopes and dreams of your own mall romance into the dirt.

All of your insecurities about your non-existent love life laid out for her--and everyone else in the busy store--to hear.

And Mindy just snorted in your face.

"I don't think I'm that old, but you kids really need to stop overthinking things," she laughed and slammed the cash drawer shut. "Alright you're all set. Go have fun on your not-date."

"I really hate you," you deadpanned and turned to leave.

You were about halfway through the trek across the mall to the multiplex when you did exactly what Mindy told you to stop doing: overthink.

Eddie was worried you might not like his friends...what if his friends didn't like you?

They were younger, still in high school. (You were blatantly ignoring that you could say the same thing about Eddie.) And you had a younger brother who was still in high school. When you were still at home his friends thought you were stupid and old and gross, as kids do.

You drove your grandpa's old car--handed down when his doctor told him he couldn't drive anymore--you didn't listen to whatever new bands they were obsessing over, you didn't know all the cool young slang.

You'd think, working with a bunch of teenagers, that you would pick something up, but for as long as you had been given keys at your old store, you tried to keep a little bit of distance with the younger associates. It helped get them to see you in an authoritative light, to trust your leadership.

And it absolutely stunted your social ability.

And your brother and his friends could smell it like sharks smelling blood in the water.

It had never bothered you--they were little twerps anyway who you'd threatened to beat up when they got too annoying anyway--until now.

What is it that Eddie's friends would find cool?

You knew about the band, and obviously you both had been bickering over discussing music. He also told you about his Hellfire Club, which conveniently consisted of the same group. And while you couldn't really wrap your head around the mechanics of the game from the description--he had offered to lend you some of his books to help you understand--you did think some of the creatures and characters he described were intriguing.

And hell, you might not know a whole lot about fantasy, but you sure as hell knew about escapism. Maybe they all were looking for a way out of their realities too.

But that was probably too heavy a topic to talk about with a bunch of teen boys at the movies.

"There she is, late," Eddie's voice broke through your thoughts as you approached the mall entrance to the theater. You looked up to find the small group of boys leaning against the wall beside the box office.

You could do this.

Or pretend to, at least.

Besides, it was just Eddie. You could be cool for him.

"You said 7?" you argued. "I clocked out at 6:45!"

"Well we're gonna miss the previews," one of the boys grumbled good-naturedly, before breaking into a small smile. "Hey, I'm Gareth."

"The drum prodigy!" You exclaimed and his smile got a little bashful.

"Shut up," he muttered. "You haven't even heard us play yet!"

You quickly introduced yourself and Eddie clapped his hands on each of his friends' shoulders as he introduced them and gave you a little fact about each of them in a way only Eddie could.

"We have Gareth, obviously, the man of the hour with a real, legitimate drivers license," Eddie sniffled and wiped a fake tear from his eye. "Can't believe he's all grown up. But let the record show that I taught him how to parallel park."

"Dave, who, I have recently learned, can fully recite Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven from memory. Iambic pentameter and all that shit, right? Guess you only look dumb, huh, Davey."

"And Jeff, Jeffrey, Jefferson, my right hand man. Not just the peanut butter to my jelly, but both slices of bread too. Where in the world would I ever be without him? Actually, maybe I would have graduated by now."

They all smiled and greeted you; it was clear that they adored Eddie and enjoyed the attention of their fearless leader, even while swatting at him as he embarrassed them.

All except Jeff, who had given you a tight, cordial smile--a strained flash of braces--and then urged everyone to follow him in.

The three younger boys bickered about snacks while you all waited in line, Gareth and Dave turning to ask you your preferences every now and again.

Whenever they couldn't decide on something--jalapeños on the nachos or no, extra butter or extra salt on the popcorn, wait should we get the hot dog combo--Eddie would swoop in with a sharp "shut up" and play mediator, then turn back to you with the biggest, fondest grin and an eye roll.

It was cute.

He was cute.

It was heartwarming to see him with his friends. You hadn't been hanging out with him for very long at all, but it was nice that he liked you enough to share this, share his friends, with you.

Once you all had your treats, including the sour candy you had promised Eddie, you made your way into the theater, only for the boys to bicker, once again, about who was sitting where. They each had their preferences and argued over the pros and cons of each. Dave like the aisle but so did Jeff, and Gareth--a self-proclaimed movie theater expert--said the center of the theater had the best viewing and sound experience. Eddie just preferred the back.

"Because if the movie is shit, you can just throw popcorn at the people further up who are making out."

"Or just watch them and--hey!"

"Not in front of a lady, dingus!"

You just hung back and enjoyed the show while apologizing to the other moviegoers for blocking their way to picking their own seats.

"Well where do you want to sit?" Eddie abruptly turned to you.

"Uh, well." You didn't think you really had a choice in this; you were just invited last-minute. This was their outing. "I'm just a guest. Whatever you guys pick is fine with me."

"Do you even like going to the movies?" Jeff laughed, but there was a slightly annoyed undertone that you wondered momentarily if you were just imagining. "Or watching scary movies?"

"I mean, yeah, who doesn't like movies," you shrugged, figuring it wasn't really the time or place to be discussing your preferences in movies either. "And horror...well, my dad always said it was cursed or something, but it's fun, they're funny."

The lights started to dim in the theater and you swore you saw Jeff roll his eyes.

"Funny?"

What was his deal?

"Yeah, when something scares you and then you jump and it makes you laugh. Especially when it's lame and cheesy. And...it's like when you ride a rollercoaster, it makes your stomach go...funny."

They all muttered in understanding, but you still felt uncertain.

"That's an interesting way of looking at it, sweetheart. I guess we all just like to get scared shitless," Eddie grinned. He clapped his hand on Gareth's shoulder. "Alright, since we're here to celebrate Gareth the Great's accomplishments, he gets to choose."

---

About a half hour in, you needed to go to the bathroom and you shimmied past the boys, doing everything in your power not to get flustered when Eddie put his hand on your hip to steady you, with a soft "careful" so you wouldn't fall over onto the next row of people.

Not that he would be able to see in the dark theater anyway.

But you felt like...somehow, he would know.

You took a deep, calming breath of relief when you got out to the lobby of the theater and joined the line for the bathroom.

The movie was good, suspenseful.

Eddie didn't lie when he said Dave screamed at jumpscares. He also conveniently forgot to mention that he liked talking during movies. People nearby kept turning their heads to shush him when he got too loud, too excited, gushing over one thing or another to someone in the group.

"Guys did you see that?"

"That was really fucked up."

"Wait what happened? I couldn't hear what they said."

It was also just not helping any of your efforts to bury your attraction for Eddie when you shared an armrest and a bucket of popcorn. Your fingers would brush his when he offered to share his candy with you. Your breath would hitch during scary moments and he would knock his knuckles with yours and give you a shit-eating grin.

“Funny my ass.”

“Shut up, you’re the worst.”

You did everything in your power to ignore the electric tingles along your skin.

“Quiet I can’t hear.”

Then there was Jeff sitting on Eddie’s other side, who would make comments like that every now and again.

It’s not like you had enough time to get a good read on Jeff; Eddie had said he was working on his confidence on-stage, maybe he also needed it off-stage? Maybe he had a hard time meeting new people? Or...or maybe he was just a stand-off-ish kind of guy, broody?

Or maybe...

Or maybe he just didn’t like you.

You really hoped that wasn't the case, but it sure seemed like it.

You knew how it felt when there was one friend in the group that just didn't like you as much as they liked the others, how they went out of their way to make you feel just a little bit unwelcome. How everyone else would just shake it off, because you'd all been hanging out for years, and it was just good natured anyway.

But this wasn't that.

This wasn't your friend group; these were Eddie's friends, and you really hadn't given them a reason to dislike you. You wanted them to like you; you wanted them to...tell Eddie he wasn't wasting his time being your friend.

The other guys seemed nice enough.

Right?

And you really wanted to try, especially with Jeff, who Eddie spoke of fondest.

Of course, he spoke of all the boys fondly…but whatever happened that caused Corroded Coffin to break up—something Eddie seemed incredibly hesitant to talk about—Jeff had been there to build it back up again. And you could tell how proud Eddie was of his friend, how grateful he was to have him.

You didn't want Eddie's closest friend to have a problem with you, his newest.

You went about your business in the bathroom, staring at your reflection for an extra long second, practicing your smile so it wouldn't seem too customer-service-y or artificial--your well-practiced mask that had always gotten you ahead at work--in case that was why Jeff had a problem. Did he think you were fake?

You just wanted to know the truth.

And you didn't have to wait long to find out, because on your way out of the bathroom, you saw Jeff waiting by the entrance of the theater. His arms were folded across his chest and he tapped his foot impatiently.

"Everything...ok?" you asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," he replied, with that same strained smile he gave you earlier. "I just wanted to talk really quick."

"Oh...kay," you agreed. "Listen, if I did anything wrong, or to offend you, I'm sorry. I know I can be too much someti--"

"Why are you hanging out with Eddie?" he interjected, cutting right to the chase. You frowned and cocked your head to the side in question. "Why are you being nice to him?"

"Why shouldn't I?" you asked in return. "He's a nice guy. He asked me to come to the movies with you guys. I’m sorry if it was just supposed to be your time together—”

"Not just now," Jeff looked around nervously, as if he was afraid to make eye contact. "He came to practice the other week excited that you agreed to go out with him and that you were cool and he was nervous and he hasn't shut up about you ever since."

Your heart got stuck in your throat. Obviously he had to tell his friends about you if he invited you to go to the movies, but...he hadn't shut up about you?

"But he's been through a lot and he doesn't deserve whatever...whatever scheme you have planned by hanging out with him. S-so this is your chance to let him down now, before you really hurt him."

You were quickly brought back to reality.

Jeff was staring at you now, expectantly. All traces of nervousness gone.

"Why would I have a scheme? Why would I hurt him?" you questioned.

"Because you're not the first pretty, popular girl to hang around with him, only to make him feel like shit afterwards once they get what they want."

Oh.

Oh no.

"If you're trying to score some cheap weed or something--"

"I'm not."

"--Or like...get some sort of laugh at his expense with those girls you work with--"

"Jeff."

"Just know that it really hurt him last time," he concluded. "Like really broke him down, on top of everything else, and it took everything I had to get him back. He's my best friend; the closest thing I have to an older brother. And he's the best guy I know. I can't stand to see him get that way again because someone else was too selfish to consider his feelings."

Your head was spinning, trying to put all of the pieces together.

And it was only making you incredibly sad for your friend.

"So..." Jeff took a breath and straightened his shoulders, as if he would step in your path to block you from entering the theater if you didn't give him the answer he wanted. "Tell me the truth. What do you want with Eddie?"

What did you want?

What didn't you want?

"I want to be his friend," you began. "I don't have that many people here, Jeff. I left home for the first time ever, and I'm kind of alone and it's scary. I don't really hang out with the people I work with because I have boundaries. And Eddie has been one of the only people I've met outside of work, technically, and he's been one of the most welcoming people so far.

"I want to eat junk food with him, and listen to his corny jokes, and get to see his favorite places in Hawkins, even though he swears up and down that it's a shit hole. And hurting him is the very last thing I want to do. But pain is just a part of life, and as much as we want to, we can't just...stop him from getting hurt at every step of the way.

"It's really admirable that you came out here to try and protect him, Jeff. I'm glad he has a friend like you. And hopefully now, since we'll have an understanding, we can be friends too," you finished with a smile.

Jeff hesitated then relaxed, the need to be Eddie's protector pretty much vanished. He wrung his hands together for a moment before sighing.

"Yeah," he agreed slowly. "I think we can be friends… Even though you're old." He grinned mischievously.

Low blow.

"Ouch! Thanks, I'm not that much older than you guys.”

"I mean, you're old enough to buy alcohol, right?" he asked expectantly.

"I'm not buying beers for you guys," you deadpanned.

"That makes you old."

"...still not buying you beer."

"Well, shit, you're not only old, you're lame too," Jeff laughed. "So...let's go back in? Before Eddie sends a search party."

"Hey, does he tell you guys not to fall into the toilet when you go to the bathroom too?"

---

Once you got back to your seats, Eddie hemmed and hawed about how the two of you missed the "best part," which he theatrically reenacted for you with Gareth and Dave after the show was over and you headed back into the mall.

He also couldn't shut up about it as he walked you back to your car in the employee lot. The other guys left, Gareth proudly showing off his new license by driving the other guys home in his mom's station wagon.

"The blood, the flesh," Eddie gushed, creepily running his fingers over your neck and shoulders, giving you the chills as you swatted at him. "It was so gross!!!"

"I'm sorry I missed it. Guess we're just gonna have to go see it again."

"We should do a group zombie costume for Halloween; it would be so cool. We could go trick or treating; the people around here don't really care how old you are. Scare all of the kids with some blood and guts. What do you think?"

"Sounds fun, I think you guys would look great!" You agreed.

"No, I meant you too," he insisted and then immediately backtracked. "Shit...unless you don't want to. Or you had another costume planned. I mean Halloween is months away but..." He continues rambling and you shake your head and stop him.

"Hey, I just figured it was something you'd want to do with the guys," you explained. "Not...me. Who am I? Not part of the band, not in Hellfire Club."

"Why wouldn't I want you there," he smiled, a little bashfully. Not the full, world-moving smile that changed the topography of his face, but a quiet one, one that made him look deceptively innocent. One that you hoped deep down, a little, was just for you. "With me--with us?!"

You couldn't get your hopes up.

You really couldn't.

“I-I mean, the guys all really liked you,” he continued. “I’m sure they’d want you there too.”

"I really liked them all too," you began. "They were cool...so if the guys are ok with it...and we don't do some stupid costume contest at work--they do things like that you know? Corporate sends out a stupid contest for a pizza party and...

"A-anyway, yeah I'd like to be part of your zombie group costume."

"Really?" he asked, similarly to earlier when he asked you to the movies.

"I mean...I might need to be bribed."

Eddie fell to his knees theatrically as you reached your car and you giggled, earning weird stares as people walked by on their way to their cars.

"Oh Queen of Glitter Kingdom," he began, one hand grabbing yours and the other over his heart. "I, your faithful servant, do promise to provide you with whatever sour candy you desire, as much as you please, from the collective treat buckets of the Hellfire Club if you deign to grace us with your presence during Trick or Treating this All Hallows Eve.

"Too much?" he asked after a short pause.

"Maybe," you tilted your head back and forth in consideration. Maybe too much, but that was part of what made him...him. "But I accept your most tempting offer."

He kissed your hand again before jumping to his feet with an excited yelp.

And once again, that thought returned:

How could anyone purposefully hurt a sweet nerd like Eddie?

"See you Sunday sweetheart?" he asked, wet eyes glistening happily.

"Yeah," you agreed. "See you Sunday."

---

Next Part: Standard Operating Procedures 1.03

Sales Associates (AKA the tag list): @gaysludge @storiesbyrhi @tayhar811 @spookybabey @word-wytch @maidenofartemis @dreamlandcreations @wickedbelle @blue-eyed-lion @aysheashea @blue-mossbird @abibliophobiaa

If you weren't given hours this week (if I forgot to tag you), I'm really sorry, we're just tight on payroll. I'll make sure you get a shift next time. ;)

(GUYS JUST LET ME HAVE THIS BIT!)

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future installations of the Store Manager Verse.

[anghraine]

The best friend and I played a bunch of Mass Effect 3 over the last few weeks! The things I remember most clearly are Thessia, Leviathan, Sanctuary, Horizon, the Citadel DLC, and the initial return to [redacted].

Long ramble about all of it:

My best friend had me choose the companions for the run to the temple on Thessia, and naturally I chose our beloved Liara and problematic fave Javik. I wasn't glad to see it fall (quite the contrary), but it seemed a bit apropos that the asari leadership's various choices wrt the war came back to bite them. Still, it was really sad, esp since it's the only time we really saw it and Liara was really upset.

...all the more because we brought Javik and he kept interrupting her explanations to be like "all your religious beliefs are gifts we gave to your people's ancestors before they figured out writing." It was a lot for her, but I did feel a touch of annoyance at what seemed a bit of an unspoken assumption that this might happen to other people's homes, but not hers. Very asari, to be sure. And I like it as a subtle aspect of her character—not a criticism of the game there, just a sidenote, I guess.

Kai Leng showing up was just ... /sigh. I don't really get what his deal is beyond being Cerberus and hating Shepard a lot for some unknown reason. Eventually we do see the past!Illusive Man comparing him to Shepard (in a positive way!), so maybe it's something to do with that, idk. He feels pretty underwritten to me compared to the rest of the major cast, who are generally super vivid (I mean, I love background characters like Westmoreland!). So I'm just irritated when he shows up and disrupts interesting things.

The Leviathan DLC was a really good horror episode taken in its own right, but as part of the wider game, I'm not sure. I kind of ... didn't want to know more about the Reapers? The sequence was fantastic (especially down in the bottom of the sea!), yet the less mysterious the Reapers get, the less engaged I am by them. Whatever the hell is going on with Cerberus and the Illusive Man is a lot more compelling to me at this point.

Speaking of whom, Sanctuary was just what the fuck?! from beginning to end. I've always been suspicious of the whispers about it, but I didn't guess that they were transforming refugees into husks to experiment on, you know? Damn. Miranda was not exaggerating about her father's callousness even a little.

Speaking of Miranda, she is probably at the top of my problematic ME characters list, and ... look. Okay. I know the mechanics of the game suggest she's straight. To me she has the most intense bi energy of just about any human in the game. I love (female) Shepard/Liara, a lot, but I just feel like there's a ton of UST between our Shepard and Miranda, all the more by the end of the Citadel DLC. I'll just leave that there.

After that, it was extremely cathartic to wreck the Cerberus base on Horizon with EDI. No gods no masters <3

And then we got to finally kill Kai Leng for good. Asshole. Blahblah, more villain monologues from the younger-looking Illusive Man (/suspicion). I suspect he's in cahoots with Harbinger or something and thinks he's actually the one in control.

Then there was the Citadel DLC, which I've heard a lot of great things about. Early on, I wasn't actually sure I'd like it as much as other people do—self-referential humor and stakes-lowering banter are not to my taste in general, and there were several times in the earlier parts that it didn't quite work for me (not because it was bad, but I just don't like that kind of thing by and large). I did laugh at the "I should go" jokes, though!

We did it with Wrex-Liara and then Garrus-Liara, which felt very apropos to the storyline, since the whole deal with the clone is that she has all of Shepard's technical skills but overlooks the importance of Shepard as team player and friend. And Wrex, Garrus, and Liara specifically go way back with Shepard.

When the clone was going on her villain rants about how she has everything Shepard did, she can do everything Shepard can, I was like "but she can't do everything Liara and Garrus can ... oh. This is about the power of friendship!" And it was, in a really charming way.

I did think Brooks was suspect as hell the whole time, so that was validating.

The clone's obsession with being The Real Shepard and having the grand mystique and galactic stature and all of that did highlight something interesting to me. I'd read an argument that ME1 is actually the best ME game, and one of the reasons in that argument is that ME1 Shepard is ... cool, but not nearly the superstar legend she becomes later on.

And Shepard's super special awesome greatness is hammered in a lot through ME2&3. I'm not sure that's actually worse than being scrappier, in terms of some artistic merit kind of thing, but the DLC is so reliant on Shepard's mystique that it got me thinking again about how easily this could become really annoying.

Like, I've loved many special or chosen male characters, but the idea of male badass Shepard seems just incredibly tedious to me. I'm not sure I could buy into this except with the pretty specific scenario we have of a lesbian Shepard who came up through a hard childhood on the streets of Earth.

Anyway, I absolutely adored the end of the clone arc (Garrus and Liara pulling the real Shepard up ;_;) and then the entire rest of the DLC, except the pull-up thing with James (very tiresome mechanically and he's my least fave of the ME3 squad). Miranda and Jack semi-reconciling was really adorable and I loved all the bizarre inter-character dynamics at the party. Also, Traynor winning against an asari named Polgara made me cackle. And my absolute most hated from ME2, Zaeed, was kind of delightful. Zaeed vs The Claw was just ... jafdkk;jadfjk;a

And Glyph's little bowtie! Incredible all around.

Oh, and the little date with Liara was super sweet. I loved that it stopped where it did, just that image of them embracing. It's great.

It was nice to see them seriously together even later, of course. And we got back to Earth! I was incredibly tired at that point, so my main thought was that the imagery of the united galactic fleet was essentially what The Rise of Skywalker tried and failed to do, but it was fantastic here, especially after everything we've done to get (almost) everyone together. (We did basically tell the salarians to go fuck themselves wrt the genophage.)

London looks suitably dreadful and we'd just gone around and talked to Anderson and then essentially everyone. Pretty much everyone continually brought up how awesome Shepard is, again, which reinforced my sense that this could be really annoying but is very nice for lesbian Shepard, and in any case, it feels like it's going somewhere now. We'll see where exactly that is!

[autisticlancemcclain]

“That’s not nearly enough time,” Shiro argues. “Pidge is excellent at what she does, and her tech is solid, but we need more than ten minutes.”

Kolivan looked genuinely apologetic, meaning that his eyebrows were tilted ever so slightly inward and he was only scowling a little.

“I am sorry, Black Paladin, but this is all we can offer. The commander is swayed by very few things, and he is easily provoked into a violent rage. For our Blade’s own safety, we cannot distract him very long.”

Shiro opened his mouth to argue further, but Lance cleared his throat pointedly. Shiro turned to him, raising a brow.

“Yes, Lance?” he said tiredly.

Lance shifted into the prim position he assumed when he was about to stir the pot and then play innocent.

“I can distract him for at least a half hour,” Lance said, pretending to be casual and filing his nails.

“Yeah, right,” Keith scoffed. Lance paused his movements, tightly gripping the file. His eyes narrowed at his ‘sworn enemy’. (‘Yeah, the sworn enemy at whom you spend inordinate amounts of time sighing wistfully.’ ‘Shut the fresh hell up, Hunk.’).

“I can so, you dick, I could honestly probably do forty-five minutes if I —“

“Lance,” Shiro interrupted, “I appreciate the enthusiasm. Really, I do. But how do you suggest you can distract a notoriously quick-tempered Empire commander for nearly an hour when the Blades can barely do ten minutes?”

Lance started filing his nails again, avoiding direct eye contact. “Well, I suppose if you want to get technical, then what I am suggesting is prostitution, but —” Keith choked, face flaming immediately. Hunk and Pidge looked at each other and immediately looked away, biting their lips and desperately trying to hold on to their giggles. Shiro sighed, dragging his hand down his face and looking to the ceiling, possibly for guidance. Lance continued on, unbothered.

“But I prefer to call it ‘using my natural assets to appeal to the commander’s sense of… pathos. Yeah.” Hunk and Pidge could no longer reign themselves in, and both lost it, leaning on each other for balance when their legs got weak from the magnitude of their laughter.

But Allura looked intrigued.

“Do you genuinely believe you can seduce the commander for half a varga?” she asked. Lance nodded, face lighting up.

“Yeah! Especially since this is just on a planet and not a ship, I can do it all natural-like, and —”

“Even if you could sed— seduce him, or whatever, there’s no way you could distract him for that long! We shouldn’t even bother!” Keith argued.

Instead of looking huffy like everyone expected, Lance’s expression looked downright lascivious.

“Aw, Keithy-boy,” he purred, “It’s cute that you think you wouldn’t last very long with me, but I’m pretty sure I can get the commander going for enough time.”

Keith’s face flamed even deeper, which seemed impossible. Hunk and Pidge laughed so hard they went silent, and Shiro couldn’t hide a smile. Allura was doing everything she could to reign her expression into one of seriousness, but her shoulders were shaking. Even Kolivan looked amused (his eyebrows were slightly slanted in the other direction).

“Wha — I’m not — that’s not what I was saying!” Keith sputtered. “I could last for hours with you, I didn’t mean —”

Pidge literally screamed. Hunk collapsed on the floor, curled in the fetal position, arms clutched around his stomach and tears streaming down his face. Allura and Shiro were openly laughing. Kolivan even smiled, with his fangs showing and everything.

Lance’s mouth dropped open, and his ears turned red. Keith dropped his head on the table, groaning.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said weakly.

God. Fuck. The team was going to bring this up until he died.

[timingmatters]

The colored panels are so fucking pretty please

Chap 51 is gonna be the start of my fave arc i just know it

Edit: I WAS RIGHT THIS ARC IS GONNA BE MY FAVE OMG SPOILERS AHEAD BUT HERE ARE THINGS IM SO EXCITED FOR:

- Mika has realized something is off with Mitsumi and Shima. I have always hoped that when she finds out what went down she becomes overprotective of mitsumi. Ik Shima doesn’t deserve hate at all, but i kinda hope mika goes from her beginnings of putting shima in a pedestal, to giving him some harsh words because she KNOWS and WANTS better for mitsumi and has her back. Idk at least be there for her and a little mad at shima dhhdhd.

- Mitsumi has been avoiding Shima. Which is completely fair and honestly a catalyst for how Shima has been feeling lately and misses her. BUT I think him witnessing the fight with her sister might make them open up to each other. And tbh Mitsumi has only opened up to our Uiji boy (my god ik thats not his name i already forgot im so sorry its my boy with glasses im so sorry son). She hasn’t opened up as much about her struggles as she did with him. So i think it would be good for her to take that step with shima and really open up about her family. And in turn, Shima can also share a vulnerable side to him and actually speak about his struggles and past at least a little with her. He hasn’t done it at all and i think its such a good opportunity for their relationship to reach a new level by really opening up to each other!!

- nao-chan’s first time back since years ago (probably maybe the beginning of her transition?). I want a chapter entirely focus on her and her family relationships as well as maybe just her going around town. She’s making such a brave fucking step because in a small town everyone knew her in the past as well as the family, SHE’S SO BRAVE I LOVE HER. I hope we see her having a conversation with her siblings too. A personal conversation away from the kids.

- Mitsumi’s sister clearly likes Shima lmao. I hope Shima kinda gets uncomfortable enough and chooses ti stick even closer to Mitsumi unconsciously, which wouldn’t be weird to anyone bc they have been that one since day 1 lmao.

- EVERYONE MEETING FUMI

- can you imagine if fumi just assumes makoto and yuzuki are already dating. Idk i want them to become canon so bad COMMON GIVE THEM A SCENE UNDER THE STARS. A LITTLE KISS MAYBE. A MOMENT. SOME CONFUSION AND REALIZATION. LETS MAKE THEM CANON COMMON PEOPLE!!!!!

- lastly if mitsumi and shina do have a conversation about their families or struggles and stop avoiding each other (rather mitsumi stops avoiding him lmao). I would LOVEEE to see her family and fumi’s reaction to how close shima and her usually are and how they always go together. Because so far her friends are picking up that something is off because they ARENT as close as they usually are, but if they solve it the family will not only see how close they are, but how normal and usual their closeness is to everyone else lmao.

- also omg if shima meets her other male friends whom she has always been close to because she grew up with them, will he be jealous?? Ik is immature of me but i do want the shima jealous arc IM SORRYYY. And that arc is technically already canon bc if the rumors of Mitsumi dating her friend (im so sorry glasses boy ik is uiji or something like that IM SORRY). So ik shima is already a little self conscious and jealous, but it would be fun to be forced to watch it closely on a vacation with her suddenly being so close to guys he has never seen and knowing that they have ALWAYS been close idk djdjdj. Just a little fun we dont need to be super angsty about it. Just shima a little too uncomfortable knowing that guys are very close to mitsumi YET he isnt at the moment (pls understand this does not mean i want him to be mad at her having close male friends, just him realizing that maybe now that they are not dating and have broken up he kinda is not more special than any of her other male friends bc she is very close to others and realizing that perhaps he does want to be someone special for her)

[leirsulien-archive]

ocs as a love language

was tagged by @druidgroves and @leondaltons on my main to take this quiz for my ocs ty <3

tagging: @grapecaseschoices, @malefiicarum, @amlovelies, @narrativefoiltrope, @lavampira

alexis: a knife called grief

you have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? you can run but not without them. you want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. you want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. you want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. because you know you’d do that for them.

olivia: an undoing influence

can someone tell you what to do? you have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. if someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. you want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever.

(also technically she didn't get this one but it fits so well for her: consumption of a heart unloved

here’s a dining table, here’s a set of plates. here’s your heart, red and bursting with love. you have tried to love people all your life, but no one seems to understand you. your own mother perhaps forgot to teach you how to protect yourself, maybe people whom you trusted chose to look the other way when all you wanted was a hand full of love. all you want is someone to take from you, all you want is someone to dig in your heart and eat it and kiss you afterwards - bloody and red. you want them to tell you that you are what they have been looking for, you want to be the one who ends their hunger.)

sayida: violent devotion

everyone seems to think you are faithless, but the thing is you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence. this world has stopped bringing you joy, you want more of the divine. you want to dedicate your entire existence to someone; you want to make them realise they are not something terrible, make them see just how much beauty they are bringing to this world. you want to be the only one for them, the only one they have chosen to love. there’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it. and what if they choose to walk away? didn’t I say this was violent devotion?

[guessimate]

This is the joint Imago-Jenkins round. The Imago family is really only just the half-orphan left behind by her father that’s gone off to war. The last day of this round marks an entire “year”, as it’s the first day of autumn again.

I rolled It’s not a phase MOM! and it’s perfect for this family, especially that the widow was already supposed to dislike her son. This is another family in which the heir is becoming a monk. Who knows, maybe they’ll get another male heir, but for now the Jenkins family has just a female heir, with whom the family name will die out.

Protase was still a child at the very beginning of the round, but I wanted to age him up to teen before he would go to the monastery. I was sitting on the fence about sending my illiterate lower classes to the monastery, but I figured that overtime they would learn how to read and write. After all monks would have to be scribes. Thank God I rolled Knowledge for his aspiration. We’ll see Protase Jenkins and Jacob Avesnes again, when some of the men come back from war with PTSD and they’ll be seen in the background of the ‘insane asylum’.

~*~

They got a genie lamp (as the first family in this hood, I believe). The entire Jenkins family wanted to make a wish almost immediately (the lamp is technically Grace’s, but in my game it’s usually the youngest household member that gets the lamp, so I don’t really care who gets the memory). Protase and Sibyl may have had an argument over who would get to rub the lamp first, as Grace was still a toddler. 

~*~

Drifa didn’t care about the lamp. She was into getting fishing badges instead (she got the Silver Badge). 

Grace has almost the same personality like her mother but she has 1 more Playful point, which makes her a Taurus instead of a Leo… She is a Good, Rebellious (like her brother) Great Kisser. She also shares One True Hobby of Games with her mom and she wanted to get a game when she aged up, so I might give them a chess table later on.

Sibyl is at Body level 9 and wants to max the skill out. She also managed to become fit and mentor girls, while jogging with them when they were both still children. The widow was also afraid of having more babies and getting fat throughout the entire round.

Sibyl took her daughter and Drifa to the forest at the weekend. They got some reeds. I think Drifa’s going to do Basket Weaving, since they overtook her Foraging. 

~*~

They sold some flowers for $957 and that was their official income.

500$ - rent

383$ - tax [rounded down to 350$]

= 850$ to the Royal Steward. There is 18,700$ in the Royal Treasury (88,700$ total earned).

96$ - tithe [rounded up to 100$ since they’re sending a child off to the monastery]. The Church has 17.000$.

They ended up with 1190$ (officially 750$) in the bank (the 440$ is a secret, unaccounted for income).

They have more flowers left, but they will for sure save some specific herbs (like Lavender and Roses) for sale later, because some second generation children will start different crafts (Candle making, Oil pressing, Beekeeping), which require specific materials.

~*~

Drifa is a Family sim [I don’t mind her being a mini me of her poor mother] and she’s a Hopeless Romantic. On the evening of her birthday she went to Church alone and decided not only to mourn her dead mother, but also to play the organ there to get some Creativity (as fall was starting, she rolled wants to improve her skills). She also got some pocket money while playing the instrument and she decided to save it as her dowry, so that someone would like to marry her (Shh! She earned a whole 440$ for it). It all happened on Sunday/Monday, since she had aged up on Sunday, and the household had already paid the bills. If she moves out, she’ll also take the Basket Weaving station with her. She could probably already weave a small nursery, but not everything necessary to furnish a house. 

[ubiwrites]

Childhood friend/crush

“Hi Alghi, how have you been? do you remember me?”

That would be the first thing i would’ve said if i ever had a chance to meet him again. Alghifari was my childhood friend/crush whom i knew because we went to the same Islamic school that my parents owned which became the reason why his family and mine became closer later on. We were both kids at that time, i was around 7 or 8 years old and he was probably around the same age as me (or couple years older). Not much thing i can recall about him, but i do still reminisce the essentials one, especially the moments we’ve shared together. To be completely honest, i don’t even remember his full name (Sorry Ghi☹️).

But i do remember clearly, he had one sister that i also used to be so close with, Kak Zahra. We got along so well and the way she treated me as if we both were some sort of like a long lost sister. I think the last time i met her was 7 or 8 years ago, and a few years later she invited my family to her wedding —which unfortunately i didn’t come. The fact that we could’ve met that day kinda made me regret it (again, sorry Ghi 😔). To be frank, i didn’t really know much about his mother —not even her name. However, one thing i was definitely aware that she was such a beautiful woman. Om Indra, Alghi’s father. I don’t remember much about him as we didn’t really interact to each other, but one thing for sure his family was like a family friend to mine. I also remember his nanny —which her name i also can’t put my finger on it. I remember she used to accompany me a lot every day while she waited him to finish the Quran course that he took at my parents’ Islamic school. I still remember she was kind and also such a soft spoken person. She was not only took care of Alghi, but me as well whenever i was around.

Alghi, do you remember our first talent show? Well, i hope you do. It was in 2005, we recited Quran together on a stage in front of my house. I was so nervous but it felt less terrifying because you were there, on that stage, sitting right next to me, calmly. So thanks to you we did a great job that day.

Alghi, i remember, there was a time when i had to skipped my class because i had to go to your grandmother’s funeral. We didn’t really meet at that time, you were probably mourning somewhere. But (technically) i was there for you.

Remember our first playdate? We went to Taman Mini. Well, it wasn’t exactly a playdate, it was more like a field trip —we went there with other students from the Quran course we both took at that time. I still clearly remember i had fun spending time with you and your whole family (and other kids too). Funny thing is, i always have this blurry memory circling around in my head about how we kind of took a picture together —or probably it was me and Kak Zahra. However, the picture was never really seemed to be existed. It didn’t really matter, as long as you were actually there.

It was one evening when the first time I went to your apartment. Our second playdate i guess? I remember it was also the first time i got to play a game console. It was you who taught me, i didn’t know what was the title of that game but i remember it was a fighting game. I didn’t really play a game growing up, the closest game i played was anything on the phone or the computer. Therefore, i was so clueless and so bad at it, i lost the game. It was being around you that mattered the most. I had fun nevertheless.

Alghi, after many years since the last time we met, i would’ve never thought that the first thing i heard from you was the fact that you were no longer around. I still blame myself for the day i wasn’t there when you were gone to a better place. I was devastated and unable to process everything for quite some time. I refused to think that we were no longer breathe the same air. I know it wasn’t really a good excuse so i apologize. God knows how i wish i could turn back the time and run to you right away.

Out of all the traumatizing and terrible childhood memories i’ve been trying to forget, every moments that you were part of it are the one i cherish the most. No matter how long and how far we’ve been apart i will never not keep you in mind and even if it was blurry, our moments will always be my prized possession.

Alghi, if only we could talk about every moments we’ve shared together as a kid in person. You couldn’t imagine how i always wonder what kind of person you would’ve become and how would’ve you looked like if you’d still around, would we even have ended up together?

All i can say now is thank you for being one of the sweetest memories i could ever asked for. I hope you’re in a better and beautiful place wherever it is. I remember you as a quiet and calm boy, i’ll pray for you to have someone you could talk to so you don’t have to feel lonely. I’ll talk to you later Ghi Rest in love, I’ll always miss you,

Y.

[kpopfanfictrash]

Raise the Barre (Ch. 8)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: underage drinking, angst, hoseok’s bare abs

Word Count: 10,705

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.  

“Okay, even you have to admit this is too soon.” Finn stared, appalled at the chalkboard. “It’s not even Halloween!”

Laughing a little, you looped your arm around his to drag him towards the back. Plopping down in a chair, you placed your order number in the center of the table. Seating himself across the table from you, Finn began to undo his coat.

“Come on.” He grinned, brown hair flopping when he leaned forward. “Admit it – this is too early for holiday drinks.”

“Okay, maybe it’s a little early,” you acquiesced. “But Halloween is tomorrow! They probably just put up the holiday drinks so they don’t have to do it on Sunday.”

“Laziness!” he cried, jabbing a finger in the air.

Shaking your head, you smiled when Namjoon, the barista, placed a pumpkin soy latte before you.

“Thanks!” you said, pulling this towards you.

“No problem,” he said, flashing his dimples before he turned to leave.

Taking a long, slow sip of your drink, you groaned. “Oh my god. This is it. This is heaven.”

Finn laughed. “Is that seriously your first pumpkin drink of the season?” Sadly, he shook his head. “I remember our senior year, you dragged me out of bed at 7:00 AM on a Saturday just to get the first pumpkin drink of the year.”

“I know,” you sighed. “But I’ve needed the extra caffeine jolt each morning. Sweet drinks just don’t cut it anymore.”

“Ah, the first step in addiction.” Finn nodded sagely.

Smiling, you settled back in your seat as he took the first sip of his black coffee. It had been two weeks since your fight at the club and since then, Finn had been on his best behavior. For about a week, things between you had been awkward but slowly, your relationship was returning to normal.

Seated in the corner of your favorite coffee shop, you drank from your cup and glanced around the room. This was what you’d pictured when you imagined you and Finn living in the city together. Coffee dates, going on new adventures and continuing your relationship where it had left off.

Of course, this morning was only possible because Miss Britt’s ballet class had been cancelled. A contemporary master class had been scheduled for the afternoon, but your day before then was free – something you’d immediately taken advantage of by calling Finn. It was becoming easier to fit each other into your schedules, more like second nature, but things were still tense whenever things didn’t line up.

None of this was eased by the burgeoning whatever-it-was you’d shoved to the back of your mind regarding Jimin. Since the day of Mr. Vlad’s ballet class, you’d managed to keep your emotions in check, but were constantly on the lookout for dangerous situations. You and Jimin were professionals, obviously, but you were also only human. It was reasonable to have subconscious wants and desires, but these weren’t important unless you chose to act upon them.

You didn’t tell Finn about it because honestly, there was nothing to tell. Okay, so you’d felt an errant spark one day during a lift. Big deal. Finn had been your boyfriend for over two years – it would take more than that to threaten your relationship. A relationship which, frankly, had been getting stronger as of late. Telling him something as inconsequential as a spark you had with Jimin would only take you further down the wrong path.

“Are you sure you’re okay with us doing separate things tomorrow?” Finn interrupted your thoughts. His brow furrowed. “It is Halloween, after all.”

“Ah, yes.” You nodded. “Halloween, the internationally known couple’s holiday.”

He laughed. “Okay, point made – but still.”

“It’s fine,” you assured him. This was something you’d already been over. “It just makes sense like this! Your friends are going to that off-campus party and I promised Noelle I’d go to this club thing with her.”

“Right, of course.” Finn grinned. “I’m bummed I’ll miss seeing you as the Powerpuff girls, though. Who’s going to be the third one, again?”

“Well, I’m Blossom – obviously.”

“Of course.” He nodded. “Miss Responsibility.”

A twinge of annoyance went through you, but you pushed it aside. You didn’t think you were always the responsible one but admittedly, you’d been more on edge than usual lately.

“Anyways,” you continued with a roll of your eyes. “I’m Blossom, Noelle is Buttercup and Irene is going as Bubbles. It’ll be fun! Aside from the whole club part, of course.”

“It does sound fun,” Finn admitted, a tad mournful. “Meanwhile, I’ve been roped into the classic college bro costume of Ghostbusters.”

“Oh, come on! That is classic! You’ll be super cute in your… suit? Cargo pants? What do Ghostbusters wear again?”

“Knowing Ben, something tragic from Party City. Pray for me.”

“I’ll light candles.”

Finn grinned, sipping his coffee again and your conversation slipped naturally to other topics.

Halloween fell on a Saturday this year, which meant every college campus was gearing up for some epic parties. Noelle had managed to snag tickets to a club fancy enough to require an RSVP. Apparently, said brother she missed was a DJ and could get tickets to a lot of things if Noelle bothered to ask.

A bunch of people from Russet were going, which made you excited. There hadn’t been many parties with your classmates so far this semester. Despite technically being in college, your classmates were all under the same intense pressure, only made worse by constant early morning ballet.

This week though, even your teachers seemed to have decided you needed a break. Aside from the master class you had this afternoon, there were zero Russet classes until Monday morning. The break in schedule meant you could actually go out – and drink – if you so decided. You and Noelle were planning on attending a ballet class tomorrow, but your entire day after would be free.

You’d originally planned on seeing Finn during the day, but then he’d been invited to a Halloween darty (day party) starting at noon. Despite not seeing Finn on Halloween, you weren’t feeling stressed. It was only one holiday and not even a couple’s one, as you’d said.

After coffee, you kissed Finn goodbye and headed to class at Danley Hall. The atmosphere was different as soon as you entered the classroom – all of the students were buzzing, excited by the prospect of the weekend ahead. The excitement only grew when coupled with the fact that today’s class was contemporary.

For nearly two months, your training had been mostly ballet. This was the foundation of all western dance, and where most dance students were expected to start. Finally though, you were being given a chance to show off. Today’s teacher, Luna Jordan, was a well-known contemporary choreographer across the globe.

You’d done a master class with her once back in high school and honestly couldn’t wait to learn from her again. She wasn’t alone, though, you noticed as you walked in – an unfamiliar, dark-haired guy stood beside her, stretching lithely before the room’s mirror.

“Holy shit,” Noelle whispered as she came to a stop. “That’s Jeon Jungkook.”

Startled, you looked twice and saw she was right. You hadn’t recognized him without his bevy of followers, but Jeon Jungkook was known in the dance world. A child prodigy, he’d been on America’s Got Talent at age eleven and finished in second place. Following this, his family had moved to LA and he’d been in high demand for movies, music videos and performances ever since.

You remembered hearing he worked with Luna Jordan, but the thought hadn’t crossed your mind before now that he might be here.

Noelle cocked her head to one side. “He’s hot.”

“Noelle,” you hissed, trying to shush her.

“What!” A devious grin spread across her face. “Am I supposed to be blind, as well as mute?”

“Well, no, but –”

“Alright, everyone!” Miss Luna clapped her hands together. “I know everyone is excited for the weekend, but we unfortunately have an hour and a half together before then. Everyone spread out for warm-ups!”

A few people laughed, spreading out on the floor as class began. Noelle wriggled her eyebrows, pulling you towards the front in order to get the best spot. Hiding a smile, you ducked your head and settled beside her into a stretch.

Noelle was nearly as excited as you were for the opportunity to dance contemporary. Most of your classmates knew this to be your forte – you caught glances from the corner of your eye while you warmed up, trying not to let their attention get to your head.

Jimin was also near the front, although on the opposite side. You suspected your class was equally excited to see him perform – as talented as Jimin was at ballet, there was a reason you hadn’t thought he’d be at Russet this fall. Jimin’s strength in jazz and contemporary was unparalleled. You would’ve thought he’d gone to LA to become a dancer like Jungkook.

Speaking of whom – Jungkook really was attractive; that much couldn’t be denied. He had dark, wavy hair pulled into a bun and cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass. When he glanced up from his stretch, his gaze somehow found yours and he smiled.

Eyes widening, you stared until you caught sight of Jimin behind him. Glancing between the two of you, Jimin’s expression soured before he looked away. Lips parting, you felt the sudden urge to say something, but there was too much distance between you.

“You ready?” Miss Luna called, an upbeat pop song blasting from the stereo. “Let’s go!”

She launched into isolations, leaving the rest of the class to follow. Warm-ups passed quickly and before you knew it, you were gathered at center to learn the combination. Miss Luna’s style was right up your alley. The steps came easily and, once you’d learned the whole chorus, she left you alone to practice.

You were helping Ari with a difficult move when you caught sight of Sabrina as you turned. She’d positioned herself near the back, which had to be a first. Usually, Sabrina was front and center to allow for maximum receipt of teacher praise.

The decision to stand near the back could’ve been strategy – sometimes, dancers did that at conventions. Conventions were giant weekends of competition with teachers from all over the globe who taught master classes to hundreds of dancers in hotel ballrooms and convention centers. Space at the front tended to be limited, so some stayed at the back, where there was more room to dance and be seen. You had a greater likelihood to capture the teacher’s attention when you had the room to do incredible leaps.

Sabrina’s decision didn’t seem strategic, though. While you watched, Sabrina stumbled transitioning from one move to the next. A brief twinge of pity went through you.

It was easy enough to spot ballerinas dancing anything but ballet. Although ballet was the root of modern westernized dance, it could be hard to translate into other styles. Ballet was more rigid than contemporary, jazz or hip-hop. In ballet, each position was defined, individual style was limited, and dancers were expected to all look the same. Standing out in the corps de ballet was equally frowned upon as missing an entrance.

Not that ballet wasn’t important to all dance styles, mind you. Even hip-hop dancers took ballet to improve their balance, core strength and general understanding of the body. There was an element of individuality in other dance styles, though, which lacked in ballet. Contemporary and hip-hop dancers were expected to have relentless technique all while creating their own, unique flair.

Just looking at Sabrina you could clearly see the holes. She was trying so hard to emulate the moves of Miss Luna, she was kind of missing the point. When Miss Luna did a certain flick of the wrist, it wasn’t a defined part of the choreography, but rather an individual choice.

Without thinking, you took a step forward – only to stop. Sabrina wouldn’t want your help; she’d already made that abundantly clear. Besides, you knew her friend Katie to be a contemporary dancer. She could help Sabrina and yet, when you looked, you saw Katie practicing near the front with Jungkook.

Jungkook obviously knew the steps, since this was probably the tenth time he’d learned the combination. Dance teachers often did that – selected a dancer to attend classes with them, traveling to different cities to demonstrate the combination and help when they weren’t free.

Before you could decide whether to help Sabrina, Miss Luna clapped her hands again.

“Let’s do groups!” she declared. “I’ll count you off into groups of four, and each group will showcase. Sound good?”

It wasn’t really a question so much as an announcement. The rest of the class nodded, waiting while Miss Luna counted you off. You ended up in the same group as Irene, Paulo and a few others. Jimin and Noelle were in the group two, while Sabrina was in the group after theirs.

Jogging off to the side, you waited while the first group took center. You were part of group four, which meant you’d be amongst the last to dance on the floor. When the music began, you closed your eyes and began to mark the combination. You tried not to focus on what anyone else was doing, but this became difficult once Noelle’s group stepped up.

Noelle had trained in jazz and contemporary, although she’d stopped in high school to focus mainly on ballet. Still, her artistry shone in her movement. She could definitely stand to loosen up a bit but was still one of the best in the bunch. You found yourself smiling when she landed a turn, silently cheering her on from the side.

While you were watching, Jimin cut across your vision.

Dropping to the ground, he rolled and arched as his forehead brushed wood. His quality of movement was breathtaking and for a moment, you felt like you were back in high school.

Suddenly returned to those dimmed auditoriums, you watched Jimin take the stage like an otherworldly being. His body seemed to move before your mind could comprehend. Barely did he finish one move before he was starting another, the steps flowing endlessly together like unhindered water. Although you knew the combination and knew how you would dance it, watching Jimin perform was a different experience entirely.

Ballet required dancers to stay on the beat but in contemporary, they were expected to lag. Extensions were all the more breathtaking when they clung to the last second, seeming as though the dancer might not make it before they caught up. Jimin was an expert in this, knowing exactly when to hang precariously over the edge and when to pull back.

Watching him dance, that pesky, strange something bloomed in your chest again.

Squashing this quickly, you looked away and resumed marking the combo. The end of the song was improvisation though and, unable to stop yourself, you found your attention drifting to Jimin again. He was ridiculously beautiful – you nearly didn’t hear when Miss Luna called for them to stop. As she turned off the music, she applauded the group while they walked from the floor.

Breathing heavily, Noelle came to a stop alongside you and – somewhat guiltily, since you hadn’t been watching – you gave her a high-five.

“That was awesome!” you said with a grin. “You definitely stood out in the group.”

Noelle snort-laughed. “Not with Jimin up there, but that’s okay. This is his specialty – and yours,” she added with a wink. “I’m psyched for group four.”

“Ah,” you groaned, rubbing your neck. “Too much pressure.”

Noelle laughed, shaking her head as group three took the floor. Both of you fell silent to watch, your curious gaze finding Sabrina in the back. Sabrina looked almost nervous; an emotion which seemed out of place on her features. It made her look almost human.

As soon as the music began, you stifled a wince. Sabrina stood out from the group, and not in a good way. She had the combination down but moved with a woodenness you would’ve expected from someone half her age. It was enough for you to glance at Miss Luna, wondering if she had noticed.

“Wow,” Noelle whispered, looking almost gleeful. “Sabrina is terrible.”

“Noelle!” you whisper-laughed.

“What? After everything she’s done? After everything she’s said?” Noelle’s gaze narrowed. “Sabrina deserves this.”

Despite privately agreeing, you couldn’t help but feel bad as Sabrina continued. Not wanting to watch any longer, you turned towards the front and resumed marking the combo. As soon as Miss Luna cut the music and polite clapping ensued, you turned back around.

It was time for group four. A shaky, sick feeling entered your stomach as you walked to center. So many eyes were on you, but it had been so long since you danced contemporary. You couldn’t help but wonder if you were as good as people seemed to imagine. Surrounded by so many dancers at Russet, surely your own talent would pale in comparison.

As soon as the music began though, everything faded. Insecurities slipping away, a lightness entered your chest as, eyes falling shut, you slowly inhaled.

Taking a step forward, you opened your eyes and began.

To you, dance had several phases. The first was learning, where you memorized each step and put them in order. The second was understanding, where your muscle memory began to take over and the combination felt smoother. The final phase, performance, was when you thought not of the steps, and were free to just dance.

This was your favorite phrase. In this phase, your mind separated from your body, leaving you only with sweat and emotion. Dance was the only art form composed solely of the body. An odd combination of physical strength and artistic beauty, it was both a testament to human capability and human emotion.

Losing yourself in the music, you ebbed and flowed through the combination until the choreography ended and improvisation began. Finally, you let go and held nothing back. Raw, unbridled passion poured out as you lost sight of yourself, so consumed by the movement.

When the song finally finished and you came to a stop, you were panting for breath. Glancing up, the first person you saw was Jimin.

He stood off to one side, leaning casually against the rungs of the barre, but his expression was anything but. Focused on you, his gaze had turned dark in a way which made you catch your breath.

Miss Luna clapped both hands once again, returning your attention to her. Blinking, Jimin shook his head and in your peripheral, you saw him straighten.

“Very good!” Miss Luna scanned the group. “I know our time is nearly at and end, but why don’t we have a few students come out and demonstrate?”

Again, this was fairly common in master classes. After learning the combination, teachers would often single out students to perform as examples. It wasn’t always the students with the best technique who got chosen. Oftentimes, it was as much for passion and performance quality.

Taking a step forward, Miss Luna began to call out names. You were one of the first – setting your water down, you jogged back to center. Jimin was the next person called, then Noelle, much to your excitement. Jungkook was also instructed to join on the floor.

Turning the lights halfway down, Miss Luna pressed play and let you improvise until the combination began. Jungkook started dancing and honestly, he was beautiful, but you couldn’t linger on him for long. 

Catching sight of Jimin again, you were once more transported to earlier times. This wasn’t the first time you’d been called out together. Oftentimes, this had happened at conventions but back then, your mind had been too clouded to see him for who he was.

You’d always wanted to beat him in high school, but now, you were consumed by the oddest desire to see him do well.

Glancing up, Jimin caught your gaze and he smiled – but then, the combination began.

By the time you were finished, you could hardly catch your breath but somehow, you felt the most alive you’d been in ages. Back in your own element, surrounded by some of the most amazing dancers in the world – this was what you’d imagined when you came to Russet.

People around the room clapped, some of them begrudgingly. You got the impression many of your classmates weren’t used to not being chosen. As you walked from the floor, you saw surprisingly, Sabrina wasn’t amongst them.

Instead, Sabrina simply looked tired – as though she’d tried her best and it hadn’t been enough. You knew that look. You sympathized with that look.

The look lingered in the back of your mind while you packed up your things and listened to Noelle discuss Halloween tomorrow. When she mentioned Ari had decided to visit her family this weekend, an idea began to form in your mind.

“Wait,” you interrupted, looking up. “Ari can’t come tomorrow?”

Noelle shook her head. “Her brother just turned eighteen, so her whole family is having a party or something.”

“So… her ticket is free, then?”

“Yes…” Noelle paused. “Why? Y/N, what are you planning?”

“Okay. Hear me out,” you said as you shrugged on your coat. It was cold enough now for the coat to be necessary.

Noelle sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Alright, I’m listening.”

Glancing away, you saw Sabrina packing her things on the other side of the room. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you returned to Noelle.

“What if we invited Sabrina?”

Noelle snorted. “Pass.”

“Noelle,” you laughed, reaching out for her arm. “Come on! Do you really think she’s doing anything for Halloween?”

“Probably not. And that’s her own fault.”

“Maybe,” you said, glancing at Sabrina once more. “But how could it hurt? We have an extra ticket, there’ll be tons of people tomorrow night. She’ll probably say no – at least this way, you can claim a write-off on your way into heaven!”

Noelle upper lip twitched. “Oh, is that how write-offs work?”

“Well, I can only assume.”

Finally, she laughed. “Ugh, fine. You can invite her – but only because it’s Halloween, and Halloween is a time for peace. And slutty costumes.”

“Thanks, babe,” you said, squeezing her waist in a one-armed hug.

Sighing exaggeratedly, Noelle waved aside your thanks. Hiking your bag higher, you began to make your way across the room. As you closed in on Sabrina, you began to rethink your choice. It had been nearly a month since anything bad had happened between you but still, you found yourself feeling wary. As tough as you pretended to be, rejection hurt you just as much as the next person.

Still, dancing with Jimin had been a reminder of just how bitter your relationship used to be. If that relationship could change, you had to imagine things with Sabrina could, too.

Coming to a stop at her bag, you waited for her to look up. When she finally did, her brow wrinkled in confusion.

“What?” Sabrina asked, sounding defensive. “What do you want, Y/N?”

You couldn’t really blame her for her suspicion. Had your situations been reversed, you would’ve been equally distrustful. It was likely Sabrina thought you were coming over to gloat, or say something to do with class today. Another twinge of pity went through you as Sabrina zipped her bag shut to stand.

“I just wanted to know what you were doing tomorrow,” you said, trying to smile. “Noelle has an extra ticket to a Halloween party, and we thought you might like to come.”

Sabrina stared. “What?”

“Tomorrow is Halloween,” you said, a bit slower. “You know – when we were kids, it was all about costumes and candy. Now, it’s about costumes and booze?”

Sabrina failed to crack a smile. “And you want… me to come to this party?”

Something about the way she said this made you sad, as though she genuinely thought this might be a joke. As though at any moment, someone might jump out and yell SIKE.

“Yeah,” you said, softening a little. “Look – it’s not a big deal if you can’t make it. A bunch of our class is going though, so we thought of you.”

Sabrina hesitated, then glanced at the door. “Okay,” she said, looking back. “Okay, yeah. I’ll come.”

Stifling your surprise, you nodded. “Great. I’ll text you where to meet us tomorrow before the club. Wear a costume,” you added before walking away. “Noelle said it’s required.”

“Alright,” Sabrina said, so quiet you almost missed it.

Walking away, you were nearly at the door when Jungkook popped up before you. Flashing a smile, he fixed a loose strand of hair away from his face. Feet fumbling to a stop, you could only stare.

“Y/N, right?” he said, sounding shy.

Unable to find the words, you blinked in response. The way Jungkook danced had been so confident, you’d only assumed this to be his off-floor persona, as well. Hearing him sound shy was unexpected. 

Also – you hadn’t expected him to know your name.

“I… yeah, that’s me.” Shaking your head, you smiled. “Jungkook, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I just wanted to say I’m such a big fan of your dancing. It was great to take class with you today.”

Without meaning to, a laugh escaped your lips. Jungkook stared at you, baffled until you quickly waved him off.

“Oh, no – no! Sorry,” you said. “I’m not laughing at you! I’m just laughing at the ridiculousness of you saying you’re a fan of me.”

Some of Jungkook’s wariness disappeared, and a small smile played across his lips.

“Well, I am.” His grin widened. “I used to assist on the convention circuit, too and I remember you being called out all the time. You and Jimin,” he added, glancing across the room.

You looked, too and saw Jimin still packing his things. His back was stiff, pointedly not looking in your direction. Lingering on him a moment, you returned to Jungkook.

“Still,” you said with a laugh. “It’s a bit of a stretch to say we took class together when you’re the teacher’s assistant.”

“True.” Jungkook paused. “Well, next time you’re in LA, let’s fix that. Let me know if you’re ever in town and we can take a class together.”

Despite yourself, your brows raised. It was harmless, but Jungkook was definitely flirting with you. He was attractive, sure and seemed nice, but he lived in LA and you had a boyfriend. You should probably leave before things had the chance to go any further. The last thing you needed was another complication. Adjusting your bag, you gave Jungkook a small smile.

“Sounds like a plan,” you said before turning away.

Jungkook chuckled from behind. “Bye, Y/N.”

As you joined Noelle at the door, she stared over your shoulder.

“What?” you said, coming to a stop.

Noelle’s gaze moved to yours in disbelief. “How?” she demanded as you exited class. “How do you have all these men just… tripping over themselves for you?”

Heat rising to your face, you shook your head. “That’s – I,” you sputtered. “You’re being ridiculous!”

“Am I?” Noelle grinned. “First Jimin, now Jungkook… and all this while having a boyfriend.” 

“I… you... Jimin is not tripping over himself for me!”

Both her brows shot way, way up. “Is that the only part of the sentence you took objection to?”

“Shut up,” you groaned and shoved her in the side.

Noelle laughed but nodded. “Alright, fine! I’ll stop. Did Sabrina say she’ll come?”

“She did.”

“Great. I still don’t like her,” Noelle said, pushing open the door. “But I guess you’re right, I have an extra ticket. It’s nice to be nice.”

You laughed, pulling your coat tighter as you walked outside. “You’re a saint.”

While you walked, your phone dinged and pulling this from your pocket, you saw a notification on Instagram. Jeon_Jungkook97 has followed you.

Shaking your head, you returned this to your jacket as you continued. While it was nice of Jungkook to compliment your dancing, his approval didn’t mean as much as certain other peoples had. This realization stuck in your mind, making you wonder about Noelle’s teasing jibe.

She had said Jimin flirted with you, but that wasn’t true – was it? You would have known if Jimin were flirting. It was hard to pick out though, since Jimin was friendly with everyone. That was just who he was; as he’d said earlier, he liked to be liked. A note of uncertainty entered your thoughts though, recalling the ballet class with your chest pressed to his. Shoving this away, you forced yourself to focus on the upcoming weekend.

Halloween was a night for fun, for letting loose and enjoying yourself with your friends. You refused to let the night be spoiled by any lingering feelings – either from you, or towards you.

The next night was perfect Halloween weather.

Chilly, but not cold enough to risk snow falling. There were several Halloweens from childhood you could recall trick-or-treating with a winter coat flung over your costume because the temperature had dropped below freezing.

You, Noelle and Irene showed up to Paulo’s house around 8:00 PM, shivering a little while you stood on his doorstep. Paulo was one of the few freshmen who lived off-campus, having known several upperclassmen before he came to Russet. The brownstone he lived in was cute, with window boxes you imagined hosted flowers in the summer.

Tugging your pink and black minidress down, you adjusted your bow as Paulo opened the door.

Blinking, he took in your costumes. “The Powerpuff girls!” He cheered, raising an arm overhead. “Try not to take down any of the villains upstairs, yeah?”

“No promises,” said Irene, flicking hair over her shoulder.

Entering the house, you heard thumping bass from an apartment upstairs. Paulo lived on the third floor and as you climbed the steps, the music grew louder. It took Paulo two tries to shove open the door – “warped wood,” he explained – but once you were inside, you saw familiar faces.

“The Powerpuff girls!” Jasmine cried, jumping up from the couch. “Finally! Thank god – can you take down Eamon? He came here dressed as a potato, or something.”

“It’s an avocado!” Eamon shouted from the kitchen. He was dressed in a round, green costume with a halo overhead. “I’m ‘holy guacamole’ – get it?” he said, pointing at the halo.

Jasmine stared at him a moment. “That’s terrible. Worse than mine,” she said with a wave down her body. “I’ve been Princess Jasmine for the past five Halloweens. It’s easy to remember and I already have the outfit.”

Laughing, you shrugged off your coat and added this to a pile on the couch. “It’s a classic,” you agreed as you turned.

Noelle had managed to procure at least twenty tickets to the party tonight, so a lot of your freshman Russet class was in attendance. Including Sabrina, who stood in the corner, talking to Louis over cups of red punch. She looked up when you entered, pausing before she gave a small wave. Surprised by the gesture, you did the same.

“No.” Noelle groaned, coming to a stop alongside you. When you looked, you saw she’d already removed her coat. “Tell me Sabrina didn’t come to this party dressed as a ballerina.”

“We did invite her at the last minute,” you laughed. “Hard to find a good Halloween costume in a day.”

“Hey,” Noelle argued. “There’s no we here. You were the one who invited her, and you’ll be the one to accept the consequences should your social experiment fail.”

“Done,” you agreed. “Speaking of social experiments though, I’m ready to get drunk tonight. Where’s the alcohol?”

“Kitchen!” Irene called, brushing past. “Or – that’s where Brian disappeared to when we entered, so I can only assume.”

Telling Noelle you’d be back with drinks, you wound through the room towards where Irene had pointed. The kitchen was tiny, on par with most city apartments. There was only room enough for one or two people, so you were lucky it was deserted when you entered.

Surveying the counter, you found the usual party staples. A bowl of red punch, a bunch of beer and various liquor bottles with chasers. Skipping over the communal punch bowl, you reached for a bottle of diet coke and coconut rum.

“Oh,” a voice said as they entered the kitchen. “Sorry – I didn’t know you were in here.”

Glancing up, you saw Jimin and froze.

He’d dyed his hair black – that was the first thing you noticed. Jimin’s hair was no longer blonde, but completely dark. His outfit confused you at first – a frilly, white blouse with slicked-back hair and dark trousers – until you saw his bright red contacts and the dribble of blood at his mouth.

“A vampire,” you said, finally recovering your voice. Scanning his body, you frowned. “Where are the teeth, though?”

Jimin blinked, his gaze jerking up from your waist.

“Huh?” he said, sounding a bit strangled.

Cheeks heating a little – your dress was pretty short – you repeated yourself. “The teeth,” you said, pointing at your own lips. “Don’t vampires have fangs?”

“Oh, right.” Jimin dug around in his pocket – fuck, were his trousers tight – to produce twin fangs. “I took them off when I got here. They’re really hard to talk in.”

“Go on then, Park,” you said with a grin. “Put them in.”

“One second.” Twisting to face the wall, Jimin popped them in his mouth. Turning around, he bared his teeth. “Sexy?”

With the teeth in though, the word came out more like shex-shie and you burst into laughter. “So sexy,” you agreed, reaching past him for a cup.

Jimin stiffened when your arm brushed his front. Unbidden, you thought about what Noelle had said – Jimin had been flirting with you. Pulling away, you resumed making your drinks and tried not to look in his direction.

Even so, you remained aware of his presence. Jimin inched his way behind you, reaching for the whiskey on the other side. His arm brushed your elbow as he went, right knee nudging yours in an intimate gesture.

Glancing up from the counter, you accidentally caught his gaze. Despite your earlier joking, he did look sexy. Devastatingly so. Even the blood-red contacts weren’t enough to deter the shiver which ran down your spine.

Shaking yourself free from your trance, you grabbed both cups and pulled back. 

“So, what’re you drinking?” you asked. 

You decided it was best to steer the conversation away from how sexy Park Jimin was or was not.

Seemingly oblivious to your inner turmoil, Jimin poured whiskey into his cup. “Whiskey and coke. Can you pass me that bottle?”

“Sure,” you said, leaping at the chance to prevent him from walking past you again. “Here you go.”

Pushing this forward, you watched Jimin pour both drinks all the way to the brim. He paused near the end, staring into the depths before he looked up. He seemed to be warring with something, debating whether or not to speak whatever was on his mind.

“So…” He paused. “Do you know Jungkook, or something?”

You blinked. “Jungkook…?”

“You know, Miss Luna’s assistant. Jeon Jungkook.”

“Oh! Jungkook. No, I don’t really know him.”

“You were talking to him at the end of class, though?”

Hearing the curiosity in his voice, both your brows raised. “And?”

“And nothing,” Jimin said, sounding uncomfortable. “I just… I didn’t know you knew him, that’s all.”

“I mean, I don’t.” You paused. “But even if I did, what does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.” His cheeks began to redden. “It’s just – ah, never mind. We don’t have that great a history, that’s all. He’s kind of the reason I’m at Russet this year.”

You stared at Jimin a moment. “Wow, what a tragedy,” you said, stifling a laugh. “To have been forced to attend one of the most prestigious dance institutions in the world.”

His upper lip twitched. “It’s not that. I was deciding between attending Russet and accepting a job offer out west. I was asked to join this pop star on tour… anyways, Jungkook’s never liked me much. It’s a long story.” Jimin’s brow furrowed. “My offer was rescinded at the last minute. The artist never said why, but I always got the feeling he had something to do with it.”

You stared at Jimin a moment, unsure how to respond. Jungkook hadn’t seemed like that kind of person, but you supposed you’d only talked to him for a few minutes. If that was true, what happened to Jimin sucked and yet, the next words from your mouth nearly had you face-palming.

“And here I thought I was your biggest rival, Park,” you said.

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Are you… jealous, Y/N?”

He sounded almost pleased by the notion, which sent a different kind of shiver down your spine.

“Not at all,” you said quickly, turning back to your drinks.

Jimin made a soft tsk-ing sound, as though he didn’t believe you.

“That sucks,” you continued, determined to change the subject. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah. Maybe it was all for the best, though. Things happen for a reason, right?”

Looking up, you caught Jimin’s stare. He didn’t look immediately away and you got the oddest sensation he meant more than what he said. Hastily, you pushed this feeling aside, clutching your drinks as you entered the main room. Jimin followed close behind, two cups in his hands.

“When did you get here?” you asked. “Been here long?”

Jimin shook his head. “Nah. Hoseok and I got here like, ten minutes ago. He should be around here somewhere, he –”

“Y/N!”

You looked up just in time to see Hoseok, Jimin’s roommate, barreling towards you.

“It’s been so long!” Crushing you to his chest, Hoseok wrapped you in a hug. “Hope Jimin isn’t boring you to death,” he stage-whispered before he pulled away.

“Just for that.” Jimin arched a brow. “Both these drinks are for me.”

“No – wait, wait. I’m sorry!” Hoseok pouted. “Hand over the drink, Park. It’s been the longest fucking week.”

Jimin grinned and relented, handing Hoseok his cup as you laughed. Hoseok was a newer friend, but he was close to Jimin, so he’d gradually bled into your latest gatherings. Despite not being on the ballet track, most of the dancers at Russet knew of him. Hoseok had that way about him.

Glancing down at your outfit, Hoseok held up a finger. “Let me guess – Blossom,” he said, turning to scan the room. “Which means… aha! Irene is Bubbles and Noelle is Buttercup. Makes sense.”

“And you are…” Pausing, you squinted at his outfit. “Someone at the spa?”

“Sure.” Hoseok shrugged. “Honestly, I just wanted to wear a bathrobe.”

Said bathrobe was paired with only boxers, the front of the robe open to display his toned abs. The costume didn’t surprise you, based on past interactions with Hoseok.

Casually, he twirled the robe tie in a circle. “Impressive, no?” Hoseok glanced away. “Whoa, wait – they have beer pong? See you all later!”

Hurrying off, he left you alone with Jimin. Shaking your head, you glanced in his direction and saw Jimin down his whole drink. Arching a brow, you were about to ask why when Irene called your names from across the room.

“Y/N!” She waved her hands. “Jimin! Get over here, you two – we need more for flip cup!”

You found yourself pulled in this direction despite your insistence you didn’t do well under pressure. Jimin ended up at the other end of the table and you lost sight of him when you started to play, paired with Jasmine for a partner.

By the end of the first round, you discovered you weren’t as horrible a player as you’d imagined. Then someone suggested mixed drinks for the second round, and things became fuzzier. There were more people present than just current students of Russet. One of Paulo’s roommates knew Seokjin, so you saw him in the room, along with Sana.

You chatted with both over the course of the evening, in addition to a guy who’d recently debuted on Broadway, Kim Taehyung. Apparently, there was already buzz around him for a Tony. Taehyung was nice, but it was sometime during this conversation you realized how tipsy you were. Apparently, not drinking for several months and then going ham made for very low tolerance.

Collapsing onto the couch, you joined Irene and Brian’s conversation. In the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Noelle – a terrible flip cup player, she’d roped Hoseok into giving her private lessons, but these seemed to be going terribly. Or perhaps very well, given how much the two of them were laughing.

You completely forgot about Jimin until you spotted him across the room talking to Sabrina. Seeing them together, you straightened. Both seemed fairly comfortable, which struck you as odd. Since that morning in Jimin’s dorm, you hadn’t really seen them hang out together.

Despite this, Jimin was laughing at something Sabrina had said. Tearing your gaze away, you forced yourself to focus on the conversation at hand. It didn’t matter who Jimin spoke to, or even who he decided to go home with tonight. He was your dance partner and friend, nothing more and besides – you had a boyfriend.

Blinking, you reached into your clutch and pulled out your phone. To your disappointment, you’d gotten no texts from Finn since this morning. You assumed he was still at his party but didn’t know for sure. Shooting him a text, hey, you waited for a response and when you got none, returned your phone to your purse.

Across the room, you heard Noelle yell your name. “Y/N!” She cupped her mouth with both hands. “We need another person for flip cup!”

Laughing, you pushed yourself from the couch and were immediately roped into your fourth game of the night. The night blurred again after that, turning into a pleasant hum of conversation and booze. At some point, Ubers were called to bring you to the club. As you rushed downstairs, you realized you forgot your coat as soon as you stepped outside.

Shivering violently, you rubbed your arms and cursed yourself for poor foresight.

“Y/N?” Jimin came to a stop alongside you. “Hey, where’s your coat?”

“Inside,” you said through chattering teeth. “I-it’s fine, though. I’m fine!”

Jimin gave you a look. “Where’s Paulo?” he said, glancing around. “I’ll grab him, we can get your coat before we go –”

“The Uber’s already here, though,” you argued, grabbing his sleeve to drag him towards the curb. “I’ll be fine from here to the club!”

Jimin sighed but gave in, following when you rushed to the grey SUV. Irene had claimed the front seat, so you and Jimin pulled open the middle door – Noelle and Hoseok were crowding behind you, so you and Jimin ended up together in the backseat.

Collapsed in a heap, you giggled as Jimin tried to squish himself in a corner. “Sorry,” he said, trying – and failing – to keep his knees separate.

“Jimin.” You snorted. “Are we going to go through this again? Your hands have been in way more inappropriate places than that this semester.”

Jimin’s lips parted, shocked, but you were already hoisting yourself over the middle seat. Draping your arms next to Noelle, you begged her to play your favorite song on the radio. Had you been more sober, you might’ve recognized your position to be precarious – perched on the edge of your seat, your ass hovered inches away from Jimin’s face.

Plopping back down, you glanced sideways at Jimin and found him frozen. Suddenly, you realized the visual he’d had.

“Um, so what happened to the teeth?” you blurted, determined to change the subject.

Jimin blinked and managed to meet your gaze. “Casualty of flip cup,” he said. “One of them fell out during the game and I couldn’t find where it rolled.”

“Well, that’s okay. You can just be one of those vampires who blend in with normal humans. You know, the kind whose fangs only come out when they want to bite someone.”

“That’s true.” Jimin arched a brow. “Lucky for you, I’m not hungry.”

“Lucky for me? Lucky for you,” you retorted. “My blood is about half alcohol right now. If you drank my blood, you’d be a very silly vampire.”

The idea of a silly vampire made you laugh – even more so when you pictured said vampire as Jimin. He seemed much too coherent for your liking right now.

“A silly vampire, huh?” Jimin looked on, amused. “Damn, Y/N – when was the last time you went out? Your tolerance is shit.”

“I know,” you sighed. “I haven’t drunk much this semester. Too much dance, too little time. I think the last time I went out was –”

“We’re here!” squealed Noelle, throwing open the door.

A blast of cold air hit you and you shivered, wishing you’d worn your coat. Jimin’s gaze remained steady on yours.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he said lowly. “I can give you, uh…”

“Your shirt?” you said dryly, lifting a brow as you brushed past. “Then you’d be shirtless, Park. Let’s think this through.”

Jimin chuckled before he followed suit, although you cursed as soon as you left the car. He was correct. It was freezing, even with your alcohol-induced blanket.

“Come on!” you yelped, following Noelle towards the entrance.

Bypassing the line, Noelle walked straight towards the bouncer and showed him her phone. He nodded and waved her past, counting your friend group who followed. Not everyone from Paulo’s place had gone to the club, but enough for you to make quite the entrance.

“Y/N!” Noelle doubled back to link arms with you. “Come on – this way! That guy’s going to show us to our table.”

“Table?” you asked her, wide-eyed.

Tables in a club on Halloween night were ridiculously expensive, but it seemed Noelle had downplayed her brother’s connections. Your group was led right to the front of the upper balcony, getting a coveted spot overlooking the dance floor below.

This was undeniably the coolest club you’d been in. Not that you’d been in many, mind you, but this one had to take the cake. A half-circle of tables took up the top floor, with twin staircases descending to the main room below. Most of the lower floor was for dancing, although you saw additional tables pushed to the sides. Fluorescent bars and dance platforms were dotted throughout and above all was the DJ booth, blasting the latest songs.

“Whoa,” you breathed.

Noelle grinned, squeezing your arm to pull you into the booth. As soon as you settled in, Jasmine leapt up and clapped her hands.

“I want to be in one of those!” she said, pointing to a glowing cage at the center of the dance floor.

“Oo, me too!” Irene leapt up to join her.

“Me, three!” said Paulo, clambering out of the booth.

“Awesome.” Irene beamed and glanced your way. “What about you, Y/N? You in?”

The idea was tempting for a moment, but then Finn flashed through your mind. You highly doubted he’d be on board with you gyrating for a room full of strangers without him. Somewhat dejectedly, you plopped back on the bench.

“That’s okay,” you sighed. “I think I’m going to stay here for a while. I’ll join you later!”

Irene frowned but nodded, following the rest when they left for the stairs. About half the group went, clearing out the table while you stared at the dance floor.

Jimin slid into the bench alongside you. “You don’t want to dance?”

Startled, you glanced in his direction. While you watched, Jimin began to undo his cuffs, casually rolling the sleeves of his shirt. His hair, which had been slicked back at the start of the night, was starting to fall. Several dark strands hung over his forehead, although this only seemed to make the look more appealing.

“No,” you said, crossing your legs. “I just… don’t really feel like it.”

“Is this the whole hating clubs thing again?”

“Kind of.” You laughed. “I don’t know. Club dancing isn’t like normal dancing, you know?”

“It is when you’re at the club with all dancers,” Jimin pointed out, nodding towards the floor.

Following his gaze, you saw Jasmine dancing full-out in a lit-up cage. She wasn’t so much gyrating as she was creating choreography on the fly. The mere mortals around her looked on in awe. Fighting a smile, you returned to Jimin.

“Okay, that does look like fun,” you admitted. “The last time I was at a club was with Finn.”

Jimin blinked. “Sorry – what?”

“In the cab,” you said, leaning closer in order to be heard. “You asked me when I last went out. It was that night… um, the night you came and picked me up.”

Jimin stared at you a moment, as though contemplating something important. Abruptly, he stood and held out a hand. You blinked at this like he’d offered a football.

“What are you doing?” you said, glancing up.

“Taking you down to the dance floor.” Jimin retracted said hand. “Come on, Y/N! You don’t have to give out dry lap dances, or whatever.”

“Hey!” In disbelief, your mouth fell open. “You said you’d forget all about that!”

His smile turned impish. “Seriously, we can just do the sprinkler, or something. It’ll be fun!”

“The sprinkler?” Starting to laugh, you stood. “Was that really the first move you thought of?”

“Nah. My go-to move is the criss-cross, but I figured this was more your speed.”

Snorting, you shoved him in the arm before following Jimin to the dance floor. It didn’t take you long to spot your other friends, clustered near the front and around the DJ booth.

“Y/N!” Noelle cheered, breaking off from the pack. “You made it!”

She nearly spilled her drink while she danced, catching herself just in time as she spun around. You grinned, entering the circle with Jimin by your side. He did, in fact, pull out the criss-cross – Hoseok joined in and soon, there was a Fortnite dance battle between them. You truly haven’t lived until you’ve seen a TikTok dance-off between two semi-professional dancers.

This ended with both declaring mutual defeat, and Hoseok disappearing to buy the next round. Noelle shimmied her way over to Jasmine, accepting the hand given to stand on the platform.

You laughed at their ridiculous dance moves, choosing instead to stay on the ground. The crowd around you had thinned since you’d joined. Eamon disappeared a few minutes later, saying something about needing a drink upstairs. Before long, Irene had joined Jasmine and Noelle on the platform, leaving you alone with Jimin on the floor.

Under other circumstances, you might have felt uncomfortable, but Jimin was so good at putting you at ease. Determined to keep you in the present, he came up with more and more complicated dance moves which had you snorting with laughter.

On a particularly flamboyant spin, Jimin accidentally smacked the drink from someone’s grasp. Blue vodka splattered everywhere, drenching its owner – a burly man in leather who snarled in frustration.

Looking up, he met your gaze and his eyes narrowed.

“Shit. Run!” you blurted out.

Grabbing Jimin by the arm, you dragged him into the crowd.

“No, wait – let me apologize!” Jimin tried to twist around. “I can pay for his drink! I can –”

Once there was suitable distance between you and the guy, you came to a stop. Laughing so hard you nearly fell over, you turned sideways to face him.

Bodies pressed against you from every side but rather than feel claustrophobic, all you could think about was Jimin before you. His hair had become thoroughly mussed during the night and you fought the sudden desire to smooth it down.

Although your breath came hard, the club around you seemed to slow. The music somehow had narrowed to pinpricks, a heady thump of bass while everything dulled.

What you should’ve done was taken a step back – but you didn’t.

Instead, your gaze drifted across his face. Jimin stared back, something intense to his gaze you couldn’t quite name. Breath caught in your throat, his eyes dropped to your lips.

Before you could react, someone bumped into you from behind, sending you careening forward. Jimin caught you easily, one arm around your waist and your chest pressed to his. You could feel every hard line of his body, his thigh wedged between your legs while you grasped at his arms. Heart thudding traitorously against your ribcage, you tried to ignore the emotions which followed.

It was impossible. 

The song playing was slower, sexier than the one which had inspired the dance-off. Without meaning to, your weight subtly shifted. This caused your hips to move against his as Jimin quietly sucked in a breath. The effect this had on him was instantaneous. His grip on you tightened, gaze heady with desire and something more. Before you could second-guess what you were doing, you moved your hips again – this time, on purpose.

Jimin’s eyes darkened. Without looking away, his grip on you tightened as he slowly dragged you up his thigh. Suddenly breathless, your hands gripped him tighter while your eyes fluttered shut. The heat of his body on yours, the faint smell of cologne and sweat, the tension in his limbs and the knowledge of what he could do to you – it all left your head spinning.

“Y/N,” Jimin murmured, low in your ear.

You weren’t used to him saying your name like that.

You were used to him saying your name in every other way, but not that. Sharp with dancer’s critique, brusque with instruction, light with teasing – but not like something heavy was lodged in his throat. Maybe his heart.

Panicked, your eyes flew open.

What were you doing? This wasn’t some random stranger and this sure as hell wasn’t your boyfriend. This was Jimin. Stumbling backwards, you broke from his hold. Jimin seemed equally stunned, staring at you on the dance floor.

“I have to go,” you blurted and whirled around.

Shoving into the crowd, you heard Jimin emit a soft groan. Despite this, he didn’t immediately pursue, for which you were grateful. Stumbling through strangers, strobe lights flashed brightly overhead. You squeezed between someone dressed as a go-go and another person dressed as a werewolf. Skidding to a stop on the edge of the floor, you scanned the room and saw no one from Russet.

When you glanced over your shoulder, you saw Jimin now followed. Panicking again, you began to move. Beside one of the bars, you spotted a hallway labeled restrooms. Heading in this direction, you quickly disappeared inside the door marked women.

Once inside, you locked yourself in a stall, lowered the lid and sat down. Head in hands, you slowly exhaled. You were a coward; that much was clear. Jimin was probably out there looking for you right now, but you’d rather hide in a bathroom than face him.

The fluorescent lighting overhead was too bright – it made you feel overexposed. After a long moment, you fished around in your purse and pulled out your phone. Flipping to your thread with Finn, you saw he’d sent no response since your text. Complete and utter silence.

Heart cracking a little, you slid this in your bag and stared at the door. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. When you imagined you and Finn at college, you’d always pictured you together, attending the same parties and sharing the same adventures. Tonight though, had proven to be anything but that. Finn hadn’t once glanced at his phone judging by the unread mark next to your text.

Dimly, you wondered why you weren’t more upset about this. It should bother you that Finn hadn’t called or even texted throughout the day. Sure, he was out with friends, but so were you and you’d reached out – as soon as you thought this, your heart sank.

You weren’t sure you could call Jimin a friend after what had just happened.

Sure, you’d only danced, and it had only been for a second but still, guilt bloomed behind your ribcage. The idea of Finn doing the same thing with anyone else made your heart twist. You wouldn’t feel that way if what you’d done wasn’t wrong.

Groaning out loud, you lowered your head to your hands. After several minutes, you felt calm enough to stand and pretend-flush the toilet. As you exited the stall, you walked to the sink and began washing your hands. Staring at yourself in the mirror, a million things ran through your mind.

Clearly, the situation with Jimin was worse than you’d thought. The spark you’d felt kept returning, no matter how much you tried to ignore it. Maybe the only solution was to find a new partner. The very idea made your heart sink, but you couldn’t deny things had gotten out of hand.

Before you could seriously consider the option, the door to the bathroom flung open and banged against the wall. Sabrina stormed in, wiping both eyes with the heel of her hand. You froze, staring at her in the mirror but she didn’t seem to notice your presence.

When she finally lowered her hands and took a deep breath, she saw you and froze.

For a moment, you both only stared at each other and then – you coughed. Awkwardly, you began to dry your hands.

“Are you okay?” you asked, tentative.

Sabrina stiffened. “I’m fine,” she muttered, walking to the sink.

You watched her wash her hands, struggling and failing to control her expression. Sabrina’s hair was a mess and you stared, wondering where she’d been. You hadn’t seen her since you’d entered the club, but had assumed she’d stayed on the second floor.

“Are you sure?” you pressed, remembering your night at the other club. “You know, you can –”

“Will you… just stop.” Sabrina closed her eyes. “Will you … stop pretending like we’re friends, or something?”

Struck with disbelief, you could only stare. “I… are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.” You shook your head. “Just wow.”

Her lips tightened and finally, she whirled around. “What?” Sabrina demanded. “What is it?”

The look in her eyes was familiar. Her frustrated, angry look was mirrored in your expression, but you found you didn’t care. Sabrina was clearly going through something, but her rudeness to you was the final straw. Tired from Finn, Jimin and the constant pressure you were both under, something about Sabrina’s words made you break.

“Why are you always such a… such a bitch,” you blurted, hurling the word like a knife. “What did I ever do to you? Why do you always act like you hate me so much?”

Sabrina’s upper lip curled. “Why do you always think this is about you, Y/N? Maybe I just wanted one second of peace and instead, here you are. Like always.”

“Here I am, in the public restroom of a club we’re all at?”

“No. Here you are in my life,” she snapped, pushing herself from the sink. “People won’t talk to me? It’s because you’ve run your mouth about things you think I’ve done. I’m falling in the class ranks? It’s because you’re after my spot. Jimin doesn’t want to be my partner? It’s because of his feelings for you. I’m sick of turning around and always seeing you there!”

“Okay, but none of those things – I, Jimin doesn’t have feelings for me,” you sputtered.

Sabrina gave you a look. “Oh, please, Y/N.” Her laughter was harsh. “Why else would he turn me down?”

“Um, maybe because he’s a decent human being? Unlike yourself.”

“Great, yeah.” Sabrina glared. “Make me the bad guy again.”

“I’m not the one doing that,” you huffed. “You are. You want to blame me because no one wants to be your friend? Maybe try reaching out first. Maybe don’t talk shit about people behind their backs. And I’m improving because I’m taking extra lessons. No thanks to you, of course.”

“Don’t try and make me feel bad because I didn’t have time to give you lessons.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to explain why I’m improving and you’re not.”

Sabrina bristled. “Are you saying I don’t work hard, too?”

“No.” Mirthless, you laughed. “I know you work hard – maybe even as hard as I do. But you know what the big difference is between you and me?” you said, drawing yourself to your full height.

Sabrina’s eyes glimmered while she stared you down. Still, she retained her aloofness when she said, “What? What’s the big secret?”

“You think everyone’s out to get you,” you said, stepping closer. “You think not asking for help makes you stronger, but it’s the exact opposite. At least I’ve improved since the start of the year. What have you done?”

Not waiting for an answer, you pushed past Sabrina and walked out the door.

Shoving it wide, you entered the hallway. Dance music flooded your senses and you winced, remembering where you were and what you’d been doing. Luckily, Jimin was nowhere in sight. He must not have seen where you’d disappeared to.

Shoulders slumping, you pulled out your phone and dialed a number. Walking to the front, you concentrated on breathing while you waited for them to pick up. Coming to a stop beside coat check, you didn’t leave the club – a lesson you’d learned the hard way.

Noelle answered on the third ring. “Babe?” she yelled, barely audible over the din. “What’s going on? Where are you?”

“Are you…” Closing your eyes, you paused. “Can we leave?”

Noelle paused, then muffled her phone with one hand. “Irene!” you heard her yell. “You good to get a ride home for these people? Okay, cool. Bye!” Her phone became un-muffled. “Where are you, babe?”

After explaining your location, you hung up and hugged yourself with both arms. Noelle burst into view a few moments later, scanning the crowd like a mom on a mission. When she saw you, she rushed over – and you promptly burst into tears.

“Oh, no!” Pulling you into a hug, Noelle began to rub your back. “No, no, babe! Don’t cry! What’s going on? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

Hearing Jimin’s words said by Noelle only made you cry harder. Wisely sensing this to be a problem not easily solved, Noelle continued rubbing your back while walking towards the exit.

The two of you went outside and, as luck would have it, saw a group of people arriving at the club. Noelle snagged their taxi, helping you in the backseat and giving the driver your address. As you settled against her, your head on her shoulder, Noelle kept rubbing your arm and waited for the tears to stop.

You weren’t really sure why you were crying.

Of course, Sabrina was terrible, as was the situation with Jimin, but it was more than that. Dancing with Jimin hadn’t caused problems in your relationship with Finn. There had been problems in your relationship Finn and so, feelings had crept in which led you to dance with Jimin.

More than that though, you couldn’t help but notice Noelle had come to your aid much faster than Finn ever had. Even Jimin had dropped everything when you asked, and he was someone you’d once called your enemy. Noelle had been having fun, but she’d cut her night short because you were upset. This knowledge crushed you and for the very first time, you realized your relationship with Finn might be unfixable.

Curled up on the backseat, you let yourself cry a bit more. You could be calm and rational in the morning, you decided but for now, you just felt defeated.

When you finally climbed into bed at your dorm at night, you looked at your phone and saw Finn still hadn’t texted.

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre are posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST 

© kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[firelxdykatara]

ppl love to forget that katara: 1. has her own taste, 2. developed around aang, he needed her for his development and vice versa, 3. ZUTARA IS SHIP BETWEEN AN OPPRESOR X OPPRESSED!!! Ignoring all of the development they had with their respective partners and the trauma Zuko caused Katara!!

In the infamous words of one Luke Skywalker: amazing. every word of what you just said was wrong.

It’s actually kind of ironic that you bring up Katara’s taste, since, throughout the show, we have examples of the guys she likes, to greater or lesser extents in canon--Jet (explicit romantic feelings on her part, word of god that jet was her first kiss--a kiss that would have been consensual, incidentally, something you should keep in mind for later) and Haru (she denies the crush, but that could just as easily have been because of the abomination he’d been growing on his lip rather than denying those feelings ever existed), both of whom have much more in common (in terms of both emotional and physical maturity, and physical appearance) with Zuko than either of them has with Aang.

Zuko’s book 3 hairstyle is almost exactly reminiscent of Jet’s, even, if not quite as floofy.

(This is probably in part because of Jet’s function as a foil of Zuko within the narrative, particularly given their book 2 encounters, which I think just further solidifies my point that, were it not for extenuating circumstances [like the fact that Zuko was introduced as an enemy and they had significant obstacles to hurdle before they could be friends], Zuko would have been exactly Katara’s type. Had they met under different circumstances, she could have been the girl he went on a date with in Ba Sing Se. Just something to think about.)

So, yes, we’ve established that Katara has her own taste. Her tastes seem to be boys with great hair who are taller than her, the same age or older, and of a similar maturity level.

Aang falls short (heh, short) on all counts. So it isn’t Katara’s taste in boys that led her to be interested in him. Hm!

Next, you claim that Katara ‘developed around Aang’--that she was necessary for his development, and that he was necessary for hers.

Let’s take a moment to examine that, shall we?

I will absolutely grant you that Katara was necessary for Aang’s development--only to a point, of course, but we’ll get to that later--but was he really necessary for Katara‘s growth? I suppose I could grant you this on a generous technicality--he did, after all, provide her with the means to finally leave the South Pole and find a waterbending master to teach her (although she wound up largely self-taught anyway). But that had nothing to do with his relationship to Katara and everything to do with the structure of the plot--Katara and Sokka find Aang (and he never would have gotten out of that iceberg without Katara’s own righteous anger, so even that leads back to her own power), and then they go on a quest to find teachers for the Chosen One and save the world.

The story could not have begun without first finding Aang and then providing means for the other main characters to travel with him (or, in Zuko’s case, chase him), but this has nothing at all to do with Aang’s relationship to Katara. Aang was not a mover in Katara’s developmental arc--if anything, he acted as an obstacle more often than not, his actions ranging from innocent but obnoxious (playing and flirting with girls rather than helping with chores like picking up vital supplies, leaving Katara to do all of the quite literal heavy lifting and keeping her stuck in the role of caretaker that she’d been thrust into following the death of her mother), to deliberate and harmful (hiding the map to Katara and Sokka’s father, a truly selfish action, regardless of his lack of malicious intent, and one for which he never actually apologized), to somewhere in between (”she didn’t really mean that” he says to the man refusing to train Katara because she’s a girl, when yes, she very much did mean that, and Aang was no help in finally getting the old codger to eat his words--Katara had to shove them down his throat her own damn self).

While Katara’s overall arc wasn’t exactly big and dynamic (like Zuko’s redemption arc), or in-your-face (like Sokka getting force-fed Respect Women Juice and his eventual growth into a tactician and leader), it was very much present and woven into her character--and Aang had almost no part in it. He provided her with the means to get to the North Pole, but left Katara alone to fight the patriarchy herself. He messed around while Katara took it on herself to do the chores and keep the Gaang alive, but he did almost nothing to decrease that burden so she could grow out of the caretaker role. (Contrary to popular shipper claims, Aang didn’t actually teach Katara to have fun. She already knew how to have fun. But she couldn’t indulge, because she had a responsibility to her family and her tribe, and later to her brother and Aang and Toph, and Aang goofing off and trying to get her to do the same only added to her burdens rather than subtracting from them.) He provided Katara with the necessary motive to learn to heal herself, but he certainly didn’t seem to learn from the experience of accidentally burning her, preferring instead to claim he was never going to firebend again, despite already knowing, at that point, that he was going to need to master fire along with the other elements to become a fully realized Avatar and defeat the Firelord.

He didn’t help Katara keep them alive during The Desert. (In fact, he ran off, leaving her to desperately try to keep Sokka and Toph from succumbing to the heat while worrying for his safety.) In The Painted Lady, Katara makes the decision to stall the Gaang and do what she can to help the Fire Nation villagers on her own--Aang agrees to help her when he finds out, but he wasn’t actually instrumental in her making that choice. The Puppetmaster was, again, Katara finding a master of her own, and having to deal with the fallout from that. And in The Southern Raiders, Aang was--perhaps unknowingly, if I’m being generous, because he is a child and could not reasonably be expected to fully understand the implications of what he was asking her to do or why it was impossible--actively impeding Katara’s development! She desperately needed closure, something he could not understand and actively belittled and dismissed. The only reason he relented in the end (but not without a condescending ‘I forgive you! Does that give you any ideas???’ parting shot lmao) was because Katara was planning to take Appa anyway, and letting her go (and hoping she’d just magically wind up doing things his way) was easier than trying to fight her on it.

While Aang’s existence was necessary for Katara to start down her own path, she needed neither his guidance nor his approval to follow it--and absolutely nothing would change about Katara’s arc if you removed their romantic relationship entirely.

Possibly because the only changes needed to do so would be to remove the two times Aang kissed Katara without her consent (which, hopefully, no one would actually miss), and the epilogue kiss (which was awkward and unnecessary to begin with, since ending the entire show on a romantic kiss as the final shot kind of missed the point of the story to begin with, but that’s another discussion). None of these kisses (which are the only moments in which Katara’s feelings for Aang are so much as addressed; do note that addressing them, or hinting that they needed to be, is not the same as saying she exhibited any sign of reciprocating them) altered anything about Katara’s behavior, her personal arc, or (and perhaps most critically) her relationship with Aang.

It’s that last point that is really damning, as far as ‘Katara obviously had feelings for Aang, she kissed him in the finale!’ goes. Because she didn’t ‘obviously’ have feelings for him. And the fact that he kissed her before the invasion and then she forgot about it (she literally had no idea what he was talking about during the play’s intermission until he reminded her that he’d kissed her) is pretty clear evidence that she didn’t actually have feelings for him. Not the kind he had for her.

I’ve been a teenage girl. I know what it’s like to be surprise!kissed by your crush. And I absolutely for a full fact know that I had not completely forgotten about that kiss three months later and had, in fact, spent most of my waking hours thinking about it and remembering it and trying to talk to him about it. Now, granted, I was not in the middle of a war, but even if I had been, I doubt I would have needed reminding about the fact that the boy I’ve supposedly been developing feelings for had kissed me and showed clearly that he had those feelings for me too.

At the very least, if Katara was harboring feelings that she was worried about approaching until after the war, her relationship dynamic with Aang should have shifted. But it didn’t. She acted the exact same way with him after the Day of Black Sun as she did before it--that is, as a mother figure and a caretaker, responsible for his wellbeing. (And it’s clear she never took him down off the pedestal she needed him to occupy, either--let it not be said that the unhealthy aspects of their relationship only went one way.)

And book 3 is, incidentally, where Katara went from being vital to Aang’s development to being detrimental to it--or, rather, Aang’s refusal to let go of his attachment to her (despite ostensibly having done as much at the end of book 2) was. Because despite having been told by, perhaps, the greatest authority left in the world on Air Nomad culture (even more than Aang, who had left his temple with a child’s understanding of his culture that was never able to mature because he got stuck in the ice berg while his people were wiped out) that he had to let go of his possessive attachment to this girl who never even expressed the possibility that she might harbor romantic feelings for him to begin with, after Azula killed him and Katara brought him back, he went right back into the mindset of Katara is mine, it’s just a matter of time.

And the narrative validated him for it.

Notice how, during Ember Island Players, Aang says the following (emphasis mine):

“We kissed at the invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together. But we’re not.”

First of all, if you go back and watch the scene, it’s clear it wasn’t a mutual kiss. Aang sprang a surprise kiss on Katara, which left her shocked and unhappy after he flew off. (The decision to have her looking away and frowning was a deliberate one on the part of Bryke, who wanted Katara’s feelings kept ambiguous. Heaven forbid you allow the animators to make it clear that this fourteen-year-old girl who was just kissed without her consent by someone she’d never once demonstrated romantic feelings toward might actually have some. Heaven forbid she have a little agency in her own romantic narrative. But whatever.)

Second, he says he thought they were gonna be together.

He thought.

He never once even asked Katara what she thought--or even how she felt. He just assumes. He assumes that if he kisses her, she’ll kiss him back and they’ll get together. He assumes that she must have feelings for him, even though her body language is closed off and she told him with her words that she did not want to talk or think about this right now, and kisses her regardless of those signals, upsetting her and leading her to storm off.

And the narrative rewards him, because despite the fact that they don’t have a single significant scene together after that second disastrous kiss, Katara just decides off-screen that she Does Love Him Really and walks onto the balcony to make out with him.

The upshot of all this being that, while Katara was indeed instrumental to a lot of Aang’s early growth and development, Aang was not necessary for her own arc, and their romantic relationship (such as it was) actively hampered Aang’s development in book 3, while removing it would change absolutely nothing for Katara (except saving her from some painfully embarrassing memories).

As far as your third point, I’m simply not going to get baited into explaining how reducing Zutara to an ‘oppressor/oppressed’ relationship is not only insulting to interracial couples irl (not to mention any other couple with a potentially unbalanced dynamic of societal power, since there are many more axis of oppression than just racial), but demeaning to Zuko and Katara, their personal arcs as well as their relationship development together.

However, I will point out that Zuko was not responsible for any of Katara’s trauma. She did not find violence and fighting in bending battles to be traumatic--in fact, she reveled in it. She enjoyed fighting against Zuko at multiple points (especially noticeable in their battle at the end of book 1), because she wanted to fight--she always had--and once she had the ability, she was ready to throw down with anyone who gave her the slightest reason. (Including, by the way, her own potential waterbending master.) Aang’s death at the end of book 2 was Azula’s doing, and while I think that contributed to Katara’s extreme reaction to Zuko joining the gaang, it was not something for which she actively blamed him, and it wasn’t something she believed would be repeated--she let him go off alone on a journey to find the original firebending masters with Aang well before she chose to forgive him. So she already trusted Zuko’s intentions and that Aang would be safe with him.

Finally, because this has gotten long enough already, I hope you now understand that Zuko and Katara getting together would not require ignoring any of their development with their canonical romantic partners. We’ve already established that Katara’s arc wouldn’t change in the slightest if all of Aang’s romantic advances were removed, and I haven’t even gotten into how Mai meant nothing in the grand scheme of Zuko’s development because I’m pretty sure that’s just self-evident. I mean, the video compilation put together by Nick showcasing Zuko’s journey throughout the series doesn’t include a single scene with Mai, though it does include several with Katara, and even Jin makes an appearance--because Katara, and even Jin, played key roles in Zuko’s personal journey, while his relationship with Mai happened entirely off-screen and her only real function was to showcase just how unhealthy trying to force himself back into the role of the Crown Prince was for him.

What development, exactly, is there between them to even ignore?

At any rate, I’ve gone on long enough--I hope you enjoy the fact that you activated my wordvomit trap card right when i was about to go to bed, anon, because I just spent two hours writing this instead. In case you’re interested in the TL;DR: at the end of the day, there was no meaningful, mutual development in Kataang’s romantic relationship, and those romantic feelings that did exist were largely one-sided and ultimately detrimental to Aang’s development in the final third of his overall arc. Meanwhile, Mai meant nothing to Zuko’s journey--rather like Aang’s romantic overtures, she could be removed from the show completely and nothing about his story would change--while Zuko and Katara were both vital to each other’s overall storylines, arcs and development. This, coupled with the fact that Zuko never actually traumatized Katara and, in fact, helped her achieve closure from the biggest source of her own trauma, means that Zuko and Katara have better and more believable build up that could potentially lead to a romantic relationship than either of them have with their canon romantic partners.

So no, anon, I didn’t forget anything--I think you may have, though. Perhaps a rewatch is in order? Make sure not to close your eyes for the back half of book 3 this time.

[raya-rhaenyra-ahsoka]

Why Daenerys Should've Stayed Longer in the North Than Attack Cersei Too Soon (Which is a dick move, really) PART 2

This is a continuation from my other post, as promised. Here’s the link to Part 1 here.

ALLIES FROM THE SOUTH

The Stormlands. With Dany recently legitimizing Robert Baratheon’s last living bastard, Gendry (Yay!), and appointed him as the new Lord of Storm’s End, I think he had pledged his loyalty and full support to her.

Now since the Baratheons are the overlords of the Stormlands, it ultimately makes the Stormlands part of Dany’s new rule in Westeros. And if the Stormmen questioned Gendry’s legitimacy, there are two people who can back him up: Ser Davos Seaworth, a landed knight, and Ser Brienne of Tarth, literally the heiress to Evenfall in Tarth Island. Both of whom are from the Stormlands and have served the late Baratheon lords, Stannis,

and Renly, respectively.

TV show-wise, Gendry had taken over Edric Storm’s plotline. Edric Storm was another one of Robert’s many bastards and it was him who Ser Davos saved from being killed by Mellisandre in the books, not Gendry. Gendry himself was grateful to Davos for saving his life and he sort of stepped up as his own parental figure. I also think Gendry reminded Davos of the son he lost during the Battle of Blackwater Bay.

As for Brienne, she and Gendry never shared a conversation in the show, but in the books, he even saved her life. Brienne came from Tarth, an island in the Stormlands, where her father Selwyn Tarth is lord and one of the many bannermen of the Baratheons of Storm’s End. Brienne came across Gendry in the Inn at the Crossroads while she was searching for the Stark girls. When she saw him, she literally thought he was Renly because of his striking resemblance to his uncle. Their exchange went something like this:

Brienne: Oh my god, Lord Renly?!

Gendry: Uh, what? Lord? Lol no, I’m just a smith.

I wished it happened in the show, it would’ve been funny.

Dorne. There isn’t much plot regarding Dorne in the show. (Again, f*ck D&D for ruining a great sub-plot of the story!) But in the books, the Martell heiress, Arianne was the ultimate feminist icon. She supported and fought for Myrcella Baratheon’s claim to the Iron throne over her younger brother, Tommen, and she hoped that the rest of Westeros would follow after Dorne’s right of inheritance regardless of gender and order of birth. But no! They disregarded that seemingly important plot that even George R.R. Martin was disappointed about the changes. (We hear you, George!) Nevertheless, Arianne would’ve supported a queen, yes. But between Daenerys and Cersei, she’d probably go with Dany mainly because of their family ties. In case you forgot, Rhaegar’s late first wife, Elia Martell, was Arianne’s aunt. Also, because of what happened to Elia and Oberyn Martell in King’s Landing, the Martells practically loathed the Lannisters. In the show, Oberyn Martell’s paramour Ellaria Sand, and his bastard daughters, the Sand Snakes, hated the Lannisters, that’s why they sided with Dany. But with all of them dead and House Martell now extinct, I think the new prince of Dorne would’ve allied himself with a tamer ruler, not one who plays with wildfire. (Note: this is when Dany stayed in the North and did not march south yet.)

Spies. In the Art of War, the use of spies implies gaining knowledge of the enemy, knowing their motive and their next move. With Lord Varys the Spider in Winterfell, who’s still serving under Daenerys, has its advantages. Vary’s networks of spies or as what he called them, his “little birds” are literally scattered across the seven kingdoms.

His little birds are actually children, and appearance-wise, cannot be easily identified as spies. With his intel, they could easily formulate a plan to defeat Cersei.

DEFENSE AT SEA

 If Cersei couldn’t do it by land, she’ll go by sea. Which, Daenerys of course, have the appropriate fleets to defend, covering both the Narrow and Sunset Seas. Here's a map:

(Source: pinterest.com)

Enemies to the East. If Cersei will be stupid enough to attack through the Narrow Sea by sea, Daenerys has the fleets to defend. The Northern fleet, a.k.a the Manderly Fleet of White Harbor and the Arryn Fleet in Gulltown in the Vale will join forces.

Enemies to the West. And if they invade through the Sunset Sea, they’d have to pass the Iron Islands, where Yara Greyjoy’s Fleet will intercept them, with the help of the Mallister Fleet in Seagard.

Who would win depends. The only other person that’s probably as good as Euron at sea is his niece, Yara. The rest of Dany’s fleet would have to get lucky or outnumber the number of ships in a fleet.

At this point, you’ll probably be like, oh, what if they steer clear from the fleets and enter the North’s weakly defended areas? Okay, that job falls to the castles nearest to their borders. The northernmost castle is the Last Hearth, the seat of House Umber, which is practically already deserted. On the south is Greywater Watch, which has the strongest defense out of all four cardinal directions. On both east and west hold the seat of two branches of House Flint, with Widow’s Watch on the east, and Flint’s Finger on the west (Again, refer to the map above). Once they see Cersei’s fleet, they’ll inform the people in Winterfell.

People tend to forget that Daenerys has the only air support with her dragons. So when she hears about this, she’ll easily burn the enemy fleet with one dracarys away.

That is, if Qyburn hadn’t installed that big-ass crossbow in one of the ships, then she’ll have to be better at dodging them. It gets better if Jon’s willing to help her with Rhaegal, but we’ll never know.

OUTNUMBERED AND SURROUNDED

The map shows the Crownlands and its neighboring kingdoms of the Vale, the Riverlands, the Reach, and the Stormlands. (Source: pinterest.com)

Territories. With Cersei sacrificing Casterly Rock to tighten her grip on the Iron Throne, she technically had also sacrificed the Westerlands, which meant everything north of King’s Landing is Dany’s territory now. With Dany’s army and territories secured, the Crownlands, where King’s Landing is, is technically surrounded by the Vale, the Riverlands, the Reach, and Stormlands. I included the Reach because, well, she roasted the Tarlys and took the remaining men to her cause with a choice, bend the knee or die in a blaze of glory.

Armies. Dany has the combined armies of North, Vale, Riverlands, Westerlands, Reach, Stormlands, and maybe Dorne, plus, the Unsullied; fleets of the North, Vale, Riverlands, and Yara’s fleet from the Iron Islands; and the only air support, her two remaining dragons. Cersei on the other hand, just had the army of the Crownlands, King’s Landing’s City Watch, the queensguard, plus, the Golden Company without elephants; and Euron Greyjoy’s fleet.

I think it’s obvious that Dany outnumbers Cersei’s army, by a lot. And at this point, Dany has enough allies to lay a siege on King’s Landing.

DAENERYS VS. CERSEI

Let’s discuss the difference in the personalities and motives of Daenerys Targaryen and Cersei Lannister.

They both have blond hair, are the only girl among three siblings, and are queens in their own right. But that’s where their similarities end.

Cersei currently sits on the iron throne, and she is loving the perks that came with it. Endless Power, which meant she can do whatever she wants and not care about what people think, like sleeping with her brother. With the news of Dany coming back to Westeros, she sees her as a threat and wanted nothing more than for Dany to disappear so she could stay in power.

Daenerys, however, claims that being the queen of the seven kingdoms is her birthright, as it was the Targaryens that reunited the whole continent of Westeros. Of course, it’s still power, but at the same time, she sees it as a responsibility as well. (With great power, comes great responsibility. Wow, I’m quoting Spiderman now.) She believes that as a queen, it’s her job to take care and provide for the needs of her subjects and even makes an effort to hold court as she listened to their demands. She also thinks that slavery is a big no-no, so she freed them.

The key to becoming a great leader is finding the balance between being loved and feared by your subjects. Cersei is more likely feared than loved. She also doesn’t care about her people, a fact that she admitted to her brother, Tyrion once. Daenerys most likely had the scale tips on balance, with her being equally loved and feared by her subjects. She’s loved because she actually takes time to listen to the people’s needs, and feared because she could take you out using her dragons with one word.

If Dany did lay siege on King’s Landing (again, we aren’t counting her major mad queen moment), the only thing Cersei can use against Dany is the people living within the city walls. Cersei might have heard that Dany’s been freeing slaves in the cities surrounding Slaver’s Bay, and figured out that she has a soft spot for the common folk.

In conclusion, if Daenerys had simply waited out and took her time planning and gathering allies and supplies against Cersei, she would’ve been successful in her campaign to retake Westeros. But then again, we aren’t the writers for this show. In the end, they had Jon battling through himself while he chooses to reply with either of his two favorite lines, She’s my queen or I don’t want it. Or that Sansa and Arya doesn’t like Dany at all and think that she’s a power-hungry, dragon-riding bitch. Or that Bran doesn’t give a f*ck about anything. So, yeah. What do you guys think?

[nat-20s]

Wonderful! Au Part 7! (also on ao3 here) another episode only installment, and obnoxiously fluffy! Have fun!

~*~

Martin, tired: Hello everybody! Welcome, or welcome back, to a very low energy episode. We have had, as the kids say, A Week Tm.

Jon, equally tired, but fond: Is that as the kids say?

Martin: I don't know, and perhaps worse, I don't really care. I guess I could ask Jeremiah next time he's over, but I'm not sure if that would actually help.

Jon: Shockingly, I don't think two year olds have their finger on the beating pulse of youth culture.

Martin: Hmm, maybe not. Speaking of Jeremiah, he's part of why the format of this episode is gonna be a bit different than our regular. On top of me dealing with a frankly obscene amount of inventory management, and Jon being swamped with grant writing-

Jon: I never want to look at proposal guidelines again-

Martin: we were on babysitting duty for our favourite neighborhood hellion-

Jon: Hey, Jeremiah is a very sweet kid! I know he's a toddler, but we shouldn't be slandering him anyway.

Martin: One, we're not even using his real name, I don't think that counts as slander, and two, exactly, he's a toddler, he's by default a hellion.

Jon, teasing: This coming from the person that actually wants one?

Martin: I..look, if anything, the last few days have shown we should not be permanent parents.

Jon: But?

Martin:...There's no but.

Jon: I don't believe you! Are you lying for my benefit or the audience's? Because someone spent the last five days wearing one of the largest grins I've ever seen, exhausted as it may have been.

Martin: Okay! Fine, I admit, I liked having a kid around. I still think it would be a bad idea to do it full time, but I dunno. I wish we weren't both only children or something. We would make such good uncles.

Jon: Should I should have taken that teaching job after all?

Martin: Perhaps. After all,

Martin, singsong: An English teacher, is really someone!

Jon and Martin, singing together: If only you, had be-come one!

Jon: Honestly, though, I was considerably underqualified. I'm much more suited to my current job, even if it doesn't have quite the same impact on the "shaping of the next generation" or whatnot.

Martin: Wait, you actually care about qualifications now? When did that change?

Jon: This coming from Mister "master's degree in parapsychology"? And it was probably around the time that the world ended from taking on a workload I was ill-suited for.

Jon:...

Jon: Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Martin: Oh, of course. Definitely nothing literally apocalyptic in our pasts, no siree, nothing to see or speculate about or make weirdly involved forums for here. Uh, anyway, long introduction not so short: Both of us have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep, so any sort of actual research was not on the table.

Jon: If any of you are wondering why we didn't just say that we're both very much worn out and thus we'll be taking a week off, it's because we're both deeply, deeply stubborn.

Martin: It's one of our best shared qualities that has never caused any conflict between us, ever.

Jon: In fairness, sheer stubbornness does account for, what, 75% of the reason that either of us are still alive? And it hasn't caused a major conflict between us in a good three years.

Martin: That's true. We've become a deeply boring, relatively conflict free couple. Which fucking rules, by the way. To all the couples out there: I highly recommend being boring. It is so nice. We've gotten to go to the farmer's market so many times.

Jon: You do love the farmer's market. I would say that it's the access to fresh produce, but I think you just like the attention that one yarn seller gives you. Can't believe you would take advantage of a crush to get discounts on wool. How did I marry such an opportunist?

Martin: Ollie does not have a crush on me. They're just friendly to everyone.

Jon: Bullshit. I certainly never get an extra skein or stitch markers or delicate fabric cleaner tossed in my bag. Actually, I think I've been charged more for committing the crime of having married you before they could.

Martin: I'm..70% sure that's not true, but every sentence we speak, we stray further from even pretending to be on topic. So, to everybody listening, this is the itty bitty episode! Basically, we're only doing small wonders and user submissions. If you want details or backstory for things we like, too bad, come back next week. Jon, I believe you're first this week?

Jon: Oh, right. My first small wonder is cat names.

Martin: Delightful, but unsurprising. Though, I would've expected either more or less specificity. Why cat names as opposed to pet's names in general, or, like, military title names?

Jon: Well that's simple enough. I've simply never met a misnamed cat, even if the name itself wasn't to my personal tastes, and I think that speaks to the wonderful universality of cats.

Martin: This, of course, implies that you have met animals that were misnamed.

Jon: Oh, I have. I once met a papillion dog named Meatball.

Martin: Now I know you don't like food names in general for pets, but are you sure that Meatball didn't suit the dogs personality? I've known some "Meatballs" in my lifetime.

Jon, only half-mock offended: Of course it didn't fit, Martin. She was a lady. A nervous, jittery lady, but a lady nonetheless.

Martin, laughing: And what, you've never met a dignified cat with an undignified name, or vice versa? Would you be okay with our cat being named Meatball?

Jon: I would be upset if our cat was named Meatball, because we named her and we're above that sort of thing, but, technically speaking, she could have been Meatball in another lifetime and it wouldn't have been wrong. You see, all cats are a mix of both extremely austere and little baby idiot.

Martin: Oh, is that the scientific terminology?

Jon: It is. Now, while there's probably some amount of, er, normative determinism or confirmation bias or something that results in a cat with a more dignified name seeming to possess more of that austerity, as all cats have both, any name can, potentially, fit. Hence why it's wonderful.

Martin: I..accept your proposal for now, but I think more research needs to be done. Maybe we should visit the shelter this weekend and test your hypothesis.

Jon: Hmm. I think we may need to visit multiple shelters, actually. A large sample size is necessary for any sort of veracity, obviously.

Martin, imitating Jon tone: Obviously.

Jon: Glad you agree. What's your first small wonder?

Martin: Tofu!

Jon: I..didn't realize you liked that much?

Martin: Well, I don't get it very often since I know you can't stand the texture, even though it is not like 'worse scrambled eggs', and you're a horrible food thief-

Jon: Lies and slander. We readily share. If I'm a horrible food thief, you have committed the exact same, if not worse, crime as myself.

Martin: Well, we are thick as thieves.

Jon, groaning: You're thick as something alright

Martin: Rude! My beloved husband-

Jon: -uh huh-

Martin: whom I love and trust with my most tender of hearts-

Jon: -an oddly cannibalistic turn of phrase-

Martin, badly suppressing laughter: Oh, my god. I want a divorce, then I can put tofu in as many dishes as I like. I'll triple my protein intake.

Jon: It'd never go through. I'll burn the papers. No, wait, I'll burn down the legal offices where the papers are kept.

Martin: Hmm. While my experiences with it have been, uh, varied to say the least, I do have to admit that arson is one of the more attractive crimes of passion. I suppose I'll take you back.

Jon, flat: I'm so very grateful.

Jon, genuine: You do have yet to actually tell me why you think tofu is wonderful, love.

Martin: It's just a good food! It's neutral enough that you can toss it in pretty much anything with a sauce, you can bake it, you can fry it, whatever. Plus it's what? two? Three quid? I spent many years of my life living off the cheapest, saltiest approximation of noodles you could imagine, and half a pack of tofu, a little bit of sesame oil, and some green onions went a long way to both making it more filling and less sad. 

Martin: Plus, I feel like it often gets decried for being something it's not? It's so often viewed as a meat substitute or the vegan alternative option, and so when people try it, they often go in with a false preconceived notion of what it's going to be like, and then end up disappointed. They're all like, 'ugh, this doesn't taste like turkey!' and yeah, of course it doesn't. It's the oatmeal raisin cookie of the protein world, a perfectly good and tasty treat on its own, but if you want chocolate chip, it's not gonna work.

Jon: Martin you don't even like oatmeal raisin. I'm the only one that ever eats them out of the multipacks.

Martin: Well, yeah, but I don't like oatmeal raisin because of its flavor, not because I think it should be chocolate chip and fails. It illustrates my point. Also, just for balance, is your next small wonder oatmeal raisin cookies?

Jon: No, though, maybe one of these weeks. They are good. But no, um, my next small wonder is being married.

Martin, let out a high bark of a laugh: Being married is a small wonder?!

Jon: Small wonders doesn't mean a lack of importance! Or even significance in our lives. Half the time we even end up spending just as much time chattering on about them as the things we actually research. But, yes, I didn't feel like researching the concept of being married. For one, a lot of the history of it is depressing and patriarchal, and for two, it's not something I really feel any need to elaborate on. Being married. I very much enjoy it. I recommend it for anybody that's found someone that they want to marry, and who wants to marry them. I really recommend being married to Martin Blackwood, I think I would enjoy it significantly less if it was to anybody else, but one: we typically try to make the wonderful things in this show  applicable to more than just ourselves, and two: I got there first, so I believe the appropriate thing to say here would be; neener neener and/or everyone else can go suck it, Ollie.

Martin: Well...

Jon: Well, what?

Martin: Saying you got there first is technically not true-

Jon: What?!

Martin, laughing like a bastard: Sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist! Jon, you already know that you're my first real realationship, how would be married before fit that?

Jon: Hence my surprise at the notion! I cannot believe you! I give you my trust, my earnestness, and belief-

Martin [only laughs harder]

Jon: and you throw it in my face for a bit. I take back everything, being married is a nightmare, because sometimes your partner thinks he a fucking comedian and you just have to put up with him because you love him and want to live the rest of your life with him or some such nonsense. Not worth it, if you ask me. My turn to ask for the divorce.

Martin: Babe, hate to break it to you, but both of us are guilty of doing bits that the other doesn't like, it's an integral part of  a healthy marriage, and secondly, you knew who I was long before I proposed. You should've said no when you had the chance.

Jon: Hang on, you proposed?

Martin: Yeah? This isn't part of a bit, of course I proposed. I'm even pretty sure you were there. The whole visit back to Scotland trip? I finally made you a sweater and said it was because we would now be immune to the boyfriend curse?

Jon: No, no, I remember all that, but it wasn't the proposal. It was a reaffirmation of the proposal. We had already decided to get married.

Martin: Well, yeah,, I wasn't just gonna spring that on you, we had had conversations beforehand-

Jon:  No, I mean, I had already proposed. I asked you to marry me a good three years earlier, and you said yes, which is a proposal by any definition that I know.

Martin: Jon, love, darling, apple of my eye, fire of my soul, I mean this in the nicest way possible, what the everloving fuck are you talking about?

Jon: In the ambulance ride when we, uh, moved here. It was the thing I said to you the second I saw your eyes were open.

[An audible pause is left in the recording.]

Martin: That does not count.

Jon: How does it not count?! I asked you to marry me, you very emphatically said yes, that's the de facto definition of an accepted marriage proposal!

Martin: It doesn't count because you were half-delirious with blood-loss, and I had a traumatic brain injury that the hospital was very surprised I made a full recovery from. No court in the world would consider anything we said then more than pain driven ramblings, let alone, I dunno, contractually binding.

Jon: Well, I knew what I was saying well and clear. Just because it was desperate doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. I didn't realize that you weren't as cognizant when you accepted.

Martin, snorting: Yeah, didn't really need to be cognizant to say yes. I've wanted to marry you since the train ride to Scotland.

Jon: Wait, really? Martin, we hadn't even been on a date.

Martin: And yet we were on the lamb together, which I honestly think is more romantic than sitting in some restaurant somewhere trying to get through icebreakers. Also, back up, from your perspective we've been engaged since 2019? What did you think we were doing in the interim?

Jon: Uhh..

Martin: Yes?

Jon: There are people that have long engagement periods, and it's not exactly like we were in any sort of position to get married for awhile. Especially not that first year.

Martin: Okay? And?

Jon: And..I sort of thought you had changed your mind. For awhile. Was rather surprised that you kept living with me, considering that, on the worst nights, I was convinced you were going to storm off and leave me forever any minute now. Hence why your proposal was rather relieving.

Martin: Oh, Jon, love. That is so very ridiculous, and so very you, and so very close to many of my own fears and doubts. Do you have any idea how terrified I was to float the idea of marriage to you? Half the time I was convinced I was just meant to keep you company until you found someone better. And, Christ, we'd, from your perspective, been engaged the whole damn time. Fuck.

[Jon, after a beat, starts laughing. It has a slightly hysterical edge to it. Martin joins in. It takes a minute for the laughter to subside enough for them to speak again.]

Jon: I'm rapidly realizing that our entire romantic relationship would've been, if not more successful, a hell of a lot faster if we weren't both complete fools.

Martin: You're realizing that now? I think I've known that since the CV incident. I've definitely known it since the Lonely.

Jon, with a slightly tired chuckle:Yes, yes, something probably should've tipped me off earlier. Shockingly, observation of our own personal romantic trends is not always a strong suit of mine.

Jon: Anyway, please tell me you have another small wonder, this has gotten wildly of track.

Martin: Since we're talking about marriage anyway, I think my next small wonder is having a shared reference in your wedding vows. Our friends had "I have been, and always shall be, your friend" in theirs, and I made Jon cry with a slightly altered Lord of the Rings quote in ours.

Jon: First off, we were both openly weeping long before that point, secondly, I defy anybody to have been through half of what we have and then have the love of their life look them in the eyes and tell them "Leave you? I never intend to. I am going with you, if you climb to the moon" without at least tearing up.

Martin: There wasn't a dry eye in the audience, either. Granted, the audience was only 20 people, but that was also literally the only time I've seen Eloise show a strong emotion, so I'm pretty smug about it.

Martin, soft: I still feel exactly the same, you know. If you're climbing to the moon, I'll make sure the rope is strong enough for two.

Jon, soft: I know, love.

Jon: Though, to be fair, the moon is also significantly more pleasant than many places we've been.

Martin: God, I hate how much that's true. Look at this barren, oxygenless rock, at least it's not actively trying to kill us. Practically a honeymoon location.

[Martin sighs]

Martin: I am so tired. Let's do the user submissions then take a very long nap.

Jon: Please.

Martin: So, first submission is from Josie; They find it wonderful getting cards from their friends. They say they're lucky to have so much love in their life and have friends that care enough to send them things. That is wonderful Josie! We have a drawer in our house dedicated to every loving card we've ever received since the move, and they're always such a nice reminder of the people in our lives.

Jon: We should really organize that drawer, but, yes, agree with the sentiment. Even the cards from people that are no longer in our lives are lovely, I think. Those connections are very much meaningful for both of us, whether they're active or not.

Martin: That's very true.  Next submission is from Lys, who submits the sound of leaves crunching under your feet in the fall. Ah, that's a classic.

Jon: I just felt myself relax imagining it. I wish it was autumn.

Martin: Don't we all? Alright, for the last submissions, I'm grouping them together as they follow a similar theme. Jadwiga submits the feeling of waking up well into the morning with the sun shining through the window and your cat laying next to you, and Oran submits when a dog falls asleep with its head in your lap.

Jon: I can heartily recommend at least one of those, considering that's how we try to wake up most mornings. The Duchess is a dutiful darling girl who spends every night with us, and she's usually still there when us humans rise.

Martin: I bet you'll agree with the other when I finally convince you to get me a dog for my birthday.

Jon: It hasn't happened yet, so I wouldn't hold your breath.

Martin: But you don't even dislike dogs! You're just as happy to pet them when they pass by as I am.

Jon: Being fine with an animal isn't the same thing as wanting to adopt one for yourself! We don't even know if The Duchess would put up with a dog.

Martin: I bet she would. I bet we could get a big senior dog who's the calmest animal you've ever met with those soft eyes and a little grey on the muzzle and she would cuddle up in an instant. And we did say we should visit a shelter or three this weekend..

Jon: I think you're rather callously taking advantage of my exhausted state, but I suppose we can look. 

Martin: Hell fuckin yeah. So, I think that'll close out the episode, and as we always say at the end, uh, go take a nap and get a dog. Not necessarily in that order.

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part Three

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Morgan, various characters in other chapters

Warnings: language, sexual innuendos and implications

Chapter Summary: Reader has dinner with her family and gets grilled even harder than her food. But she’s turned to a light simmer when Bucky takes her out for their first date.

Author’s Note: This chapter is fucking monstrous lol. I did not expect it to be this long so it might be a couple extra days before the next chapter so I can catch up! I’m also not sure if my Italian is accurate so I apologize in advance. I used to work for a man named Gennaro from Naples and he called me “bella” so hopefully I’m sort of right? If you like the story so far, feel free to buy me a coffee!

Part One • Part Two

Tags: @kennedywxlsh

Dinner that night was tense, to say the least. It was nice to have your dad, step-mom, sister, and uncles Happy and Rhodey over again, but your dad wasn’t quick to forget what he saw earlier.

“What was that with Barnes today?” Tony asked as you all sat around the dining room table in your midtown flat, poking away at the remnants of your meals.

“What do you mean?” you asked innocently.

Your dad just gave you an incredulous look. “You know what I mean.”

You sighed and avoided meeting his eyes. “I was just working on his arm, dad. I didn’t wanna make him lie down on a hard lab table while I poked around to do what you wanted and quiet his arm,” you explained.

“Wait, Barnes as in Bucky Barnes?” Uncle Rhodey clarified.

“Yeah,” your dad confirmed, not taking his eyes off of you. “I found her kneeling between his legs while he sat shirtless on the couch.”

“You’re sleeping with Bucky?!” Rhodey asked.

“I’m not sleeping with anyone!” you defended, dropping your fork onto your plate. “I’ve known him for a month.”

“That’s never stopped your father,” Pepper mumbled under her breath, making you huff out a laugh despite your current grilling.

“Listen, when I said ‘no fraternizing with coworkers,’ I meant it,” your dad said.

“Please stop saying ‘fraternizing.’ It’s weird.”

Tony sighed and crossed his arms. “No ‘slumber parties’ with coworkers,” he rephrased.

This made Morgan perk up in her seat, having spent the past couple minutes confusedly watching you and your dad bicker.

“Can we have a slumber party, [Y/N]?” she asked.

“Yes, honey, we can have a slumber party,” you responded.

“Tonight?” she continued.

At this, you pointedly looked at your dad and raised your eyebrows as a way of saying ‘are we done now?’ You could tell he didn’t want to end the conversation, but you were grateful for the sudden change of topic. Tony uncrossed his arms and leaned against the table as he replied to your sister.

“If your big sister says it’s okay, you can have a slumber party tonight.”

Morgan lit up like the Fourth of July, quickly listing off all the movies she wanted to watch even though you knew she’d fall asleep halfway through the first movie.

As your family packed up to leave, leaving Morgan since she had a drawer of clothes for the impromptu sleepovers you’ve had before, you calmed your racing heart before saying the words that would either make your father more suspicious or completely quash his suspicions.

“You’ll have to pick her up by four tomorrow. I have a date.”

All of the adults turned to face you. Pepper had a huge smile on her face, clearly excited for you, but your dad and Rhodey looked ready to fight. Happy looked curious, maybe even worried, but he played a big role in raising you so while Tony was the overprotective parent, Happy was the comforting parent (not that he’d ever let anyone know that).

“A date?” The tone of your dad’s voice made you roll your eyes at him.

“I’m a grown woman. I’m allowed to go on dates.”

Your dad let out a quiet harumph at that, but understood where you were coming from. “I know, sweetheart. Forgive me for being a bit overprotective of my little girl.”

“I get it. I appreciate your concern,” you said with a smile, “but this is good for me. You want grandkids eventually, right?”

“Oh god,” your dad groaned, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m not old enough to be a grandpa but I’m old enough to have a heart attack at the mention of it.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”

“So what’s this person’s name?” Pepper piped up. You visibly tensed and internally panicked. You couldn’t just admit it was Bucky after denying anything there. But his name was technically pretty common...

“His name is James.”

Rhodey snapped his fingers and pointed at you as he said, “I like him already.”

‘Yeah, sure you do,’ you thought. The sight of your dad narrowing his eyes at you and crossing his arms as he stood in the entryway of your apartment made you nervous. Maybe James wasn’t good enough to get him off your trail (probably because he was right).

“How did you meet this guy?” Tony asked.

If anyone else had asked, you would’ve said ‘work,’ but that’s the last place you could say to your dad — with whom you worked.

“Uhh, at the grocery store. We accidentally followed each other and got a lot of the same food so he jokingly accused me of stalking him and we just hit it off,” you rattled off. It’s a good thing he didn’t know how your friend Monique met her girlfriend or he’d know you were lying.

“That’s so cute,” Pepper cooed. She was definitely the more relaxed of your parents, possibly because she wasn’t your biological mom. She had been raising you since you were ten though, so she played a big part in your upbringing.

“Text me his last name so I can run a background check,” your dad said. You’d love to think he was joking, but you knew he was serious.

And as much as you knew you’d regret it, you had to make a joke…

“His last name is Barnes,” you said, keeping your face as serious as possible. “James Barnes. I actually know his middle name too: Buchanan.”

“[Y/N] [Y/M/N] [Y/L/N], you better be joking right now,” Tony said. He was already getting red in the face, clearly unenthused at the prospect of you dating the man who, admittedly, killed his parents — your grandparents. Yeah, understandable.

“I’m obviously kidding,” you said, forcing a laugh. “It’s just funny that they have the same first name and you’re so anti-Bucky.”

“You’re gonna send me to an early grave,” he muttered. “I’m going home before I actually have a heart attack.”

You said your goodbyes and ‘I love you’s before you and Morgan put on your pajamas and set up a pillow fort in the middle of your living room to watch her favorite sleepover movie: “Shrek.”

As the movie went on, you leaned back in the fort to take a photo of Morgan with the movie in the background. Well, the back of Morgan’s head as she was engrossed in the movie she’d seen a million times.

[Image attached] She’s got her teddy bear but where’s my Bucky Bear? 🥺

Across the city, Bucky’s phone buzzed from its spot on the kitchen counter as he made himself a late dinner. He didn’t recognize the number, but smiled when he saw the picture of who he assumed was your sister or niece.

I never got an invite. Looks like more fun than my night.

You smiled to yourself when you saw his reply, rolling your eyes at the lack of exclamation points and emojis. Typical man.

What does your night look like?

Eating a late dinner and talking to you.

Talking to me isn’t fun?! I’m hurt 😢

Not as fun as actually being with you.

Even though he wasn’t there and didn’t say it verbally, you could feel your cheeks get hot at his words.

There’s no way sweet talk like that didn’t get you in more than four beds.

You’re still on that? I swear doll, I have the same number as you.

Whatever you say! 🙄

There was a lull in conversation after that, giving you time to move your sister to lie on her back with pillows and blankets in the fort so she could sleep more comfortably.

Are we still going out tomorrow?

You let the next Shrek movie start automatically, but you didn’t pay any attention as you texted Bucky.

I’m still down if you are 👀

You sent him your address and let him know you’d wait on the front steps for him so he didn’t have to come all the way up. With the exchange of ‘good night’ messages, you drifted asleep to the sounds of Shrek 2.

•

The next morning, you somehow managed to wake up before your sister, then brought her back to the land of the living with the smell of French toast.

You spent your day watching another movie with Morgan before fixing lunch and taking her to a park down the road. Morgan’s childhood was definitely different from yours. Happy was the one who took you to parks and shopping, but Tony parented at home. Morgan would have the same early experiences, but the world knew Tony and Pepper had a daughter. They kept her identity hidden for now, waiting until she could decide if she wanted to reveal herself later in life. The world never knew about you.

And you had to be somewhat grateful for that. You still got all the perks of being a Stark — the money, the Tower, meeting the Avengers (and having James Rhodes as your godfather) — without the stress of fame. But part of you still wished you could talk about your father without keeping his occupation vague and referring to him as “Anthony” when telling stories instead of Tony.

Morgan also got to know her mom. You only spent the first seven years of your life with your mom before she was killed in a drive-by shooting. The police investigated it like crazy because everyone thought since it was Tony Stark’s wife, it had to be a targeted hit. But since she never took the same jogging route twice, all they came up with was an unplanned drive-by. You cherished the memories you had with her, but still openly welcomed Pepper when she came into the picture. She may not have played the same type of role in your life, but she helped shape your middle and high school years.

By the time you and Morgan got back to your place, she was exhausted, climbing back into the still-intact blanket fort to take a nap. When your dad and Pepper stopped by to pick her up, she was still knocked out.

“We’ll get out of your hair so you can get ready for your date,” your dad said with Morgan in his arms. “Send me this James guy’s last name. I still want to run a background check.”

“Dad,” you grumbled. “I already did my research. He’s clear.” Kind of. He technically has murdered hundreds of people, including your grandparents, but he’s reformed and fighting for the good guys now. Not that your dad would let it slide if you told him that.

“That’s my girl,” he grinned. “Let me know if you need to hide any bodies, okay?”

“You got it,” you said with a laugh as they headed out. You had two hours to get ready for Bucky, giving you plenty of time to look extra cute.

By the time six rolled around, you were all dolled up and ready to go. The autumn weather had you in a jacket and boots, but that just pulled your outfit together.

Your doorman Matt was standing inside the lobby when you ran downstairs, tossing him a small wave as you left.

“Have a good night, Miss [Y/L/N],” he said with a nod.

“See you later, Matt!”

You stood at the bottom of your building’s front steps, checking your phone and looking up and down the block for Bucky. It was six on the dot, so you figured he’d be there soon.

“Hey!” You looked up from your phone to see Bucky jogging toward you, a black leather jacket covering his arms and a black glove hiding his left hand. “Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t get away from Sam. Had to tell him I was gonna check out my old stomping grounds in Brooklyn.”

“You’re, like, 30 seconds late. I’m just glad you’re here,” you said with a smile. “So what are we doing tonight?”

Bucky’s smile faltered as he looked down at you. Your boots gave you a bit of a height bump, but Bucky still stood taller than you.

“I, uh, I kinda thought you had something planned,” he said softly.

“Oh, oops,” you laughed. “Well… what about those Brooklyn stomping grounds of yours? Care to show me around?”

Bucky lit up at the recommendation and started leading the way to the nearest subway stop. Before you started down the stairs, he paused and turned to you with a sour expression.

“I probably should’ve asked if you’d rather get a cab,” he said.

“Bucky, I take the subway to work every day. It’s fine.”

“Why do you take the train? You don’t live too far away.” You two made your way down the steps to the bustling station.

“It’s just easier. Less work for me,” you explained. “I didn’t take the train much as a kid so I like taking the opportunity now that I can.”

“Most people don’t willingly take the subway,” he laughed. “Steve and I always used to talk about how we’d be rich enough to have a car someday. But now that I could get any car I wanted, I don’t think I want one. I like the subway.”

“Even though it’s smelly and dirty?” you joked.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “It’s one of the things that still reminds me of home.”

The gentleness in his voice nearly brought you to tears. This man had been through so much and was still the sweetest soul you’d ever met. Forced into a war he didn’t want to join, experimented on, tortured and brainwashed, hunted by every government in the world, captured, frozen, and forced into another war and more battles he shouldn’t have to join. He just couldn’t catch a break.

“Well I’m excited to see what else reminds you of home,” you replied.

The trains to and through Brooklyn were relatively busy so you and Bucky couldn’t really talk much, but it was a Saturday night so you couldn’t blame people for getting out. It was tough to find seats, but Bucky was willing to stand to make sure you could have a seat. Ever the gentleman.

When you made it to Bucky’s Brooklyn stop of choice, he started telling you more stories from the ‘40s, like when Steve couldn’t get off the train in time and accidentally went down another stop so Bucky ran to the next stop and found Steve heading his way anyway. And how he and Steve followed his sister Rebecca on a date “to watch out for her,” he said, and her date thought they were stalking her and tried to beat them up. And all the fights he pulled Steve out of.

“Punk was a chihuahua who thought he was a Rottweiler.”

For a while, you two walked around the streets of Brooklyn just telling each other stories. You were careful about names you used, often just calling Happy “Uncle Harry” and Rhodey “Uncle James.”

Bucky showed you the movie theater he and Steve used to go to, which was surprisingly still in business. You walked past what used to be a diner Bucky frequented but was converted into a bridal shop.

“This used to be a magic store Steve loved,” he said, looking up at the bank on the corner of the street. “Things have changed a lot.”

You heard the nostalgia in his voice, clearly missing the New York he grew up to love. He had a soft smile on his lips as he reminisced, though.

“What about where you lived?” you asked. “Do you remember where that is?”

“Oh yeah,” he chuckled. “I could never forget that.”

Everything was within a fifteen minute walk of where you got off the subway so even though your feet were getting tired, you followed alongside Bucky as he led the way up and down the streets. Before too long, you strode up to a large brick building that had clearly been remodeled recently, if the fresh windows and front doors were any indication.

“It’s… a lot nicer than when I lived here,” Bucky said with a sigh. “But it’s been nearly 100 years so I can’t blame them for updating things.”

“Brooklyn is kind of booming now, too,” you added. “More people to appeal to, ya know?”

You stared up at him again, seeing that same lost look as before, like he wished to turn back time and show you the Brooklyn he knew. So you decided since he couldn’t do that, you’d show him the Brooklyn you knew.

“Come here. My turn to show you around,” you said, holding your hand out to him. He gave you a small smile before grabbing your hand in his and letting you pull him back to the subway.

Ten minutes later, you hopped off the train with Bucky in tow and headed to the little Italian restaurant you found while exploring the city a couple years before. It wasn’t anything elaborate; it was honestly more of a little hole-in-the-wall, but you liked the quiet atmosphere.

“Bella!” the owner shouted as you walked in.

“Hey Genny,” you smiled at him.

“Who’s this?” he asked as he approached you, raising his eyebrows when he saw Bucky.

“This is James,” you said. You opted against using his more common nickname to avoid any recognition.

“James, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Gennaro, but you can call me Genny. Welcome to my restaurant.” The two men shook hands before Genny ushered you two to a table and handed you menus. “Would you like to start with focaccia?”

“Yes please!”

“Con formaggi?”

“Si! Grazie!”

Gennaro left you and Bucky while he started your appetizer.

“You speak Italian?” Bucky asked.

“Definitely not,” you laughed. “I’ve just been coming here for a while and have picked up on some things Genny says. Like ‘bella’ means ‘beautiful,’ this pizza,” you pointed to your favorite pizza on the menu, “‘cinque formaggi’ means ‘five cheese.’ But I could never hold a conversation.”

“Un peccato,” Bucky sighed before flashing a smile at you.

“You speak Italian?!” you nearly shrieked. “No way! Don’t talk shit with Gennaro behind my back.” You pouted at Bucky, but knew he wouldn’t say anything bad about you. Maybe an embarrassing moment or two — like your dad walking in on you between his knees — but nothing negative.

“I picked it up pretty quickly back in the day,” Bucky explained. “Before I was sent to Germany, I was stationed in a small town in Italy for a while. The locals didn’t mind having us there because we kept the Nazis out, so they taught us some Italian when we were in town.”

“Maybe I should take Gennaro up on his offer to learn Italian,” you mused.

“Or you could learn from me,” Bucky was quick to offer. “I’ll teach you some stuff when you’re working on my arm.”

Your server arrived with the focaccia and water for both of you, before giving you more time to actually look at the menus instead of talking. You decided to split a bottle of red wine and two pizzas, one of your choice and one of Bucky’s. As the night went on, you and Bucky both opened up to each other even more than before. You could easily blame the buzz from a couple glasses of wine, but Bucky’s super soldier serum made you confused. His cheeks were flushed and he had more than half the bottle, so you wondered if maybe...

“Can you still get drunk?”

“Unlike Steve, yes. It takes more than this,” he said, lifting the nearly empty bottle of wine, “but since Steve and I received different serums, they work a little differently. I can definitely get drunk. Marijuana admittedly hits harder.”

You paused as you stared back at him, his elbows perched on the table and his clasped hands propped under his chin.

“Are you drunk now?”

“No,” he laughed quietly. “A little tipsy, sure, but not drunk by a long shot.”

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully, reluctantly accepting that he was just as buzzed as you but not quite drunk.

Before long, your server brought over your tab and you realized how empty the restaurant had gotten. Then you noticed the broom and mop the server had brought out to the floor, then the dark ‘open’ sign, and finally the clock on the wall.

“You closed 20 minutes ago and didn’t kick us out?” you shouted at Gennaro. “Genny, you can always kick me out! I feel bad!”

Gennaro walked over to your table as you scrambled for your wallet and handed the server your card to run.

“I can’t kick you out, bella. You and your moroso are welcome any time.”

“I think this poor girl would beg to differ,” you said as the server handed your card and signature slip back. She just laughed at your comment, agreeing without saying it outright.

You left a hefty tip and hugged Genny before you and Bucky, both still a bit tipsy, shuffled outside.

“Thanks for buying dinner,” Bucky said. “This means I get to pay next time, though.”

He said it so casually and you already planned on another date, but it still kind of caught you off guard.

“Next time?” You smiled up at him and took a step closer until you were almost toe-to-toe. “There’s gonna be a ‘next time’?”

“I sure hope there is,” he said quietly, his smirk sending a rush up your spine.

“If you insist,” you sighed. He knew better than to believe you weren’t excited for your future plans. “I’m cold. Care to get an Uber with me?”

He gently grabbed your shoulders and spun you around, pulling the loose opening of his jacket over your arms and wrapping his arms around you to help keep you warm.

“Well, yeah. I need to make sure you get home safe so ‘next time’ can happen,” Bucky said as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“You know, I don’t usually let men spoon me on the first date,” you joked as you tapped away to order an Uber.

“I can stop, if you want,” he teased.

You gripped his arm as he started to pull away. “I never said that.”

Bucky rode back to your place with you, keeping conversation casual as you both avoided the controversy you were about to face: to kiss on the first date or not. You never really had any issues with it before, but you already really liked Bucky. You didn’t want to risk messing it up by moving too fast. But what grown man would think a kiss on a first date was too fast? Well… maybe one born in the early 1900s…

Before your thoughts could throw you into a downward spiral, the driver pulled up outside your apartment complex. Bucky stepped out first and held the door open for you to scoot out after him. As you stood at the bottom of the stairs to your building, you felt those nerves creeping up on you again. God, you hadn’t felt this nervous about a date since high school.

“I had fun tonight,” Bucky said first, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Me too,” you smiled back. “I’m excited for what you plan for next time.”

Bucky laughed at this, the crinkle of his nose making your own smile grow. God, you wanted to invite him inside already. In your defense, you’ve known him for a full month and spent even longer getting heart-eyes over him in college.

But you reined in your hormones and just took a step closer to him to rest your hands on his chest. His right hand came up to rest on your waist, but he kept the metal hand in his pocket. With your hand placement, you could feel the thrum of his heartbeat and judging by the pace, you knew you were both on the same page. As you were trying to shove your nerves aside, Bucky asked the one question you were hoping for.

“Can I kiss you?”

Knowing he wanted this as much as you did relieved some of your nerves, but also made the moment that much more real. You smiled up at him and nodded your head.

“Yes, please do.”

You perched up on your toes to meet him halfway, letting his lips mold to yours. His hold on your waist tightened as he pulled you closer; you gripped the lapel of his jacket in your fists. Suddenly the cold of the night no longer existed. All you could feel was the warmth radiating off of him as he held you close. He pulled back for a second before diving right back in, this time nipping at your bottom lip. You giggled against him, but didn’t stop him from taking the innocent kiss a step further. Your hands slid from his chest to the nape of his neck before tangling into his long hair. The vibration from his moan as you tugged on his hair ran straight down your spine, making it even harder to leave the date alone.

Reluctantly, you both pulled apart just enough for your noses to brush against each other, the stubble of his beard still tickling your nose. You opened your eyes enough to see the smile on his lips as he pulled back a bit more to see your face.

“I’ll see you Monday?” you said quietly, as if speaking any louder would break you two out of your bubble.

“See you Monday, [Y/N],” Bucky replied just as quietly. His hand slipped from your waist as you backed away, biting your lip at him before you turned and scurried up the steps. Bucky stood on the sidewalk until he could see the light in your apartment flick on, just to make sure you were safe.

[godsofhumanity]

12 titans headcanons please ❤️

yes ❤️

❤ warning: this is gonna be a very long post ❤

OCEANUS

Oceanus is the oldest of the Titans, and i really like the idea that he grew to adulthood within a day of being born.

i think i've mentioned this in some Gaia hc's previously, but i don't think that Gaia had any of her children in the "conventional" way that we're used to.. as in, none of her children were actually formed in her womb- instead, i imagine that she and Ouranos only had to place their hands on the Earth to cause their children to be born.

for the Titans in particular, i like the idea that Gaia caused a field of flowers to bloom, and within 12 of them were each of the Titans.

Oceanus bloomed first, and was named by Gaia (i think he's the only one who was actually named by her, herself- more on this later).

we know that Ouranos never cared for his children, so i think that the 12 Titans were originally born so that they could help Gaia take care of the Earth,, thus allowing Ouranos and Gaia to spend more time with each other.

so when Oceanus was born, he had to grow quickly so that he could take care of his siblings and raise them (Ouranos wasn't about to let Gaia go "wasting" her time taking care of children).

Oceanus builds the first village, and his primary motivation in everything he does, is to take care of his siblings.

i think he's very paternal,, though he doesn't like to show it.

Oceanus is very stoic as well... he hates brash decisions and always takes his time to think about things before he says something or does something.

also, in Gaia's absence, i think he named all his siblings, and i think that although all the Titans refer to him as their brother, they also have the understanding that Oceanus has been more of a parent than either Gaia or Ouranos, and they all look up to him a lot.

Oceanus isn't cowardly, but i don't think he likes fighting. he would much rather preserve the peace at the sake of his own freedom, than have said freedom but at the price of blood being spilled.

that said, he could definitely pack a punch if he chose to.

related to Oceanus’ unwillingness to fight, i think this is an important factor in why Cronus (who is the youngest) becomes King instead of Oceanus (who is the oldest). 

technically, it’s Oceanus’ birthright to become King after Ouranos, but Oceanus doesn’t possess the qualities required to be a good king, and he knows it, which is why he never challenges Cronus’ authority or tries to take the throne for himself- he is absolutely okay with not being king, in fact, i think he’s grateful for it.

TETHYS

Tethys is, as the lore states, Oceanus' wife, and i think she's always been really close to Oceanus- the only one who truly understands Oceanus' deepest feelings.

since Oceanus doesn't really show much emotion physically, i think it's sometimes difficult for the other Titans to know exactly what he's thinking, but Tethys is very intuitive and understands Oceanus quite perfectly.

i think Tethys is slightly more energetic than Oceanus, but she's still the most quiet of all her sisters.

she too, prefers not to fight if she doesn't have to, but while Oceanus will wait for the very last opportunity to fight, i think Tethys can be persuaded to make a move earlier than she usually would.

i also think she's more adept at fighting than Oceanus.

when Oceanus and Tethys are referenced in poems and plays, they are usually described as the "primeval parents", and are often referred to as the "genesis for all" which i think is really cute, and although Tethys isn't the goddess of motherhood, i definitely think she's very maternal (i mean, she has 3000+ children, so we hope so, right?).

after the Titanomachy, it is said that Oceanus and Tethys became Hera's foster-parents, so i imagine that Tethys and Oceanus opened their home to many gods and goddesses, even if they were simply passing through.

Hera, in particular, i think had a closer bond with Oceanus and Tethys than with Rhea- and that of course is no fault of Rhea's, i just think that's how things happened.

everyone talks of this idea that Zeus would go around pestering Oceanus and Tethys when he was trying to court Hera, and i like that idea as well ^_^

i think Oceanus was particularly reluctant to let Zeus be with Hera because Oceanus has had sooo many daughters who have been effectively abandoned by their husbands (see: Metis, Asia/Clymene, Hesione, Eurynome, etc.) and he doesn't want that to happen to yet another one of his kids.. but Tethys, the sweet voice of reason whom Oceanus has a hard time saying "no" to, intervenes on Zeus' behalf perhaps because she sees something more in Zeus' proposals, which is why Oceanus finally concedes and allows him into his house.

CRONUS

now this guy >:)

i've said it before, but i just really really like the idea that Cronus is the epitome of "you either die the hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain".

before i said that Oceanus grew to adulthood within a day because he had to take care of his younger siblings, and following this logic, i think some of the younger Titans took more time to grew simply because there was no need for them to grow up quickly- they were going to be taken care of.

as the youngest, i think Cronus takes the most time to grow. 

most of his life, his siblings are ordering him around which i think gets to him a little, so of course, Cronus has always been a little bit mischievous and a little sneaky.

i think he gets along really well with Iapetus. they are “terror twins” as Oceanus calls them, and as children, they would always get up to no good.

in terms of morality, i think initially, he’s actually quite sane and level-headed. he understands that war is brutal and should be avoided if it can, but he also understands that sometimes war is necessary. this is what makes him, initially, a good king- because he understands the need for balance.

but,, after sometime, i think he goes insane with Ouranos’ prophecy and he convinces himself that murdering his children is just a part of the job- it’s his duty. 

i like the idea that Cronus sees himself first and foremost as King. being a husband and a father is second to kingship.

i always wondered what makes a man go so mad that he’d eat his own kids, especially after he literally deposed of his father for doing effectively the same thing- why would he willingly follow in the footsteps of the god he hated so much? well, i think it’s because Cronus is driven by this philosophy of being King before being anyone else. 

he believes that it’s his job to protect the world, the way he did that first time when he rallied his siblings together to fight Ouranos. Cronus believes that his children are going to ruin the world and destroy his siblings, and he loves his family and the world too much to let that happen,, and if he has to choose between his children and the world that he has sworn to protect, well, as King, isn’t he obligated to choose the world?

and after that, he just goes downhill, and i think he loses sight of the bigger picture, and becomes the villain. 

also- not relevant to the core of this section but i just wanted to talk a little about Philyra, the mother of Chiron by Cronus ^-^

so in the original myth, i’m pretty sure that Cronus and Rhea are still married when Cronus and Philyra get together,, and that’s why when Rhea catches them and gets pissed, Cronus panics and turns into a horse (which is why Chiron is half god, half horse- lololol Cronus, you absolute loser). 

anyways, i love the myth because it’s funny, but i don’t like the idea that Cronus was actually cheating on Rhea- i mean, first you eat her children, and now you’re cheating on her?? c’mon, have some tact! 

so i have my own little take on it, and that is that Chiron is born after Cronus gets disposed (so when Rhea and Cronus are pretty much divorced). 

i like the Orphic version of events where Cronus gets sent to Nyx’s cave, so following from there, i imagine that Philyra must have somehow helped Cronus escape from Nyx’s cave (probably because she was manipulated by Cronus),, and when they escaped, they came to Mt Pelion, which coincidentally, is where Rhea, now happily retired, lives. 

so that’s how Rhea accidentally discovered her ex-husband’s affairs (which is in line with the original myth where Rhea catches them). 

of course, i don’t think Cronus ever cared about Philyra to begin with, i think he was just using her because i don’t think the “player” archetype suits Cronus- he’s not a romantic, that’d make him too similar to Zeus, and the last thing Cronus would want would be to be like his son. 

anyways so where does Chiron’s equine nature come into my version of events? well, running from Nyx’s cave to Mt Pelion on foot sounds a little tiring, but luckily, Cronus is a god and can therefore turn into a stallion, so he and Philyra probably ran away like that.

i don’t think Cronus ever actually knows about Chiron. Philyra, in the myths, is ashamed about Chiron’s appearance (which is really rude and mean), so she abandons him, but i like the idea that she simply wasn’t ready to be a mother, much less a mother of a child born from a war-criminal, so she instead leaves Chiron on Rhea’s doorstep. and Rhea recognises immediately who Chiron is, but she’s the goddess of motherhood so she adopts him, until Apollo comes in a few days later and decides to take Chiron. anyways, so that was a little bit of a tangent but i just wanted to share that ^-^

another thing- i know we all like to make jokes about Cronus seeing children as good for only one thing- snacks- but in all seriousness, i don’t think that was the case. i’ve said before what i, personally, think his real motivations behind consuming his children were, but i don’t think he was averse to the concept of children and having a family entirely.

ok, i have to divert to the story of Prometheus to explain myself here, but bear with me for a sec- so Prometheus gets punished because he helps the humans- but why does he help them? why does he love them so much and why does he feel sorry for the way they’ve been treated by Zeus? 

well,, we know that Prometheus was alive during Cronus’ reign. and during Cronus’ reign, Cronus made the Golden Age of Man where mortals lived in peace and harmony, free from interference by the gods, where no one did the “wrong” thing, and life was great. so couldn’t it be that Prometheus had seen what life for humanity could have been like? 

my hc is that Prometheus had seen what Cronus had done for humanity and was appalled by what he now saw under Zeus’ rule.

so what does that have to do with Cronus and children? well, i like the idea that Prometheus grew up in the palace, and he had known Cronus all his life. i like the idea that Cronus actually spent time with his nephew, and was the one who first introduced Prometheus to the mortals. i think Prometheus and Cronus actually were rather close as uncle and nephew. so,, i don’t think that Cronus hated all children,, he just didn’t think he could have any of his own.

RHEA

Rhea is one of my favourites <3 i think she’s one of the cooler Titans.

i think her personality is defined by her courage, and her ambition- in fact, i’d call her the most ambitious of all the Titans.

as a young Titan, i think she got along best with Cronus and Iapetus, and i think she actually had a bit of a mischievous nature, similar to them. i think she enjoys pranks and good jokes. 

she’s the kind of goddess who would do anything on a dare (i think she was pretty wild, and maybe a little shameless, in her youth, much to Oceanus’ distress).

in saying that, i think Rhea has also always been very headstrong. she’s not arrogant, or rude, but she if she has opinions, she will make sure you’re aware of them. you don’t have to agree, you just have to understand her point of view.

she’s also a little spitfire (a little like Hera tbh), and she is very good at fighting ^-^

but, Rhea is also incredibly kind and forgiving. considering what she goes through during her marriage, i think she is remarkably strong. while Cronus goes insane, Rhea remains standing tall- she survives Ouranos’ rule, Cronus’ rule, and is alive to witness Zeus’, and she is never on the losing side which is a testament to her character and strength of mind.

in the previous section, i said that Cronus follows the philosophy of “King first, husband/father second”, but i don’t think Rhea agrees with this at all.

there is never any way for her to justify to herself that her children needed to be killed- it’s a horrible and messed up idea and it’s honestly a wonder that she didn’t go insane after it happening to her children five freaking times.

i think that what makes Rhea a good queen is that she doesn’t work in absolutes- see, Cronus believes that either the world is saved, or his children are saved, but not both- but Rhea, who is always driven by courage and hope, believes that it is possible for the world to have peace and for her children to also be alive.

where Cronus is an architect of plans, and an executor, Rhea is the thought-process- the one who thinks things through carefully and evaluates the effects of the action... she’s more level-headed, and she doesn’t get angry easily.

after Cronus is deposed, i like the idea that Rhea remained on the throne a little longer- Zeus was simply too young to be allowed free reign immediately, so she kinda pulled the strings behind the scenes.

i don’t think that Rhea has favourites amongst her children. i think she is very protective of all of them and she loves them all very much, but i think the one she finds most difficult to get along with is Hera, maybe because Hera is the most similar to her (which is why Hera spends more time with Oceanus and Tethys than Rhea). 

there are versions of the courtship of Zeus and Hera where Zeus and Hera keep their relationship a secret from Rhea because Rhea will disapprove of it, and i do like this version of the myth because i think it makes sense. i think Rhea has some fear that Zeus will repeat the mistakes of Cronus and Ouranos, and she doesn’t want Hera or Zeus, for that matter, to be hurt the way Rhea was hurt.

we know that Zeus had already swallowed Metis, so Rhea believing that Zeus could become like Cronus isn’t too hard to believe.

speaking of the Zeus x Metis myth, i don’t think Zeus swallowed Metis intentionally. i think that, at that time, Zeus was still incredibly young- he had only recently defeated his father, and was still finding his way around the world. so when Metis told him about the prophecy concerning her son defeating Zeus, i imagine that he must have panicked and lost control of his powers, and without meaning to, he had reduced Metis to her divine essence, and she disappeared before his sight (he thought she was simply dead, and didn’t realise that Metis and her child were dwelling within him). Rhea is the first one to discover what transpired between Metis and Zeus and she was probably pretty horrified.

but, Rhea knew that Zeus was still young, and of course, he’s her son, so she refuses to just give up on him straight away- instead, they work on things, and Zeus gets better, and they move on. but i’m sure that the incident gnawed on her mind, and she worried for both Zeus and Hera, hence why she was reluctant to allow them to marry. but as the story goes, she conceded, and Hera became queen ^-^

HYPERION

Hyperion is the fourth Titan, and i think that all-in-all, he’s a pretty chill guy.

generally speaking, Hyperion doesn’t really like to fight, mainly because he thinks it’s boring and the risk of his face getting ruined is just too great for him.

i think he is a little vain,, he loves flattery- he likes being complimented and he likes complimenting others.

i also think that he’s a little bit weak-willed, or rather, i think that when the Titans were all young, he would often be the butt of the jokes.

in saying that, i think Hyperion has good spirit, so although he’d be a little annoyed about all the jokes and the pranks, he never takes it to heart because he understands that it’s all just a joke.

in some myths, it’s said that after Ouranos was deposed, Cronus divided the world into four parts- Hyperion ruled in the West, Iapetus in the East, Coeus in the North, and Crius in the South, while Oceanus took the seas, and Cronus of course, ruled over time + the whole word in general- and i really like this idea.

after the Castration of Ouranos, i think it’s the first time that the Titans actually split apart and start living on their own and having families.

Hyperion and Theia live in the West, and have Selene, Eos, and Helios.

after the Titanomachy, it’s said that Cronus and all his brothers were placed in Tartarus, but given the importance of Selene, Eos, and Helios during Zeus’ role, i just can’t imagine that Hyperion was one of the Titans sent to Tartarus.

i don’t think he would’ve actively supported Cronus towards the end (i mean, he was very clearly insane and needed to be deposed), but i think at the same time, he would’ve been reluctant to oppose Cronus, given how powerful Cronus was. and again, there’s that conflict with the fact that it was Cronus who freed the Titans from Ouranos, so i guess things aren’t really that black and white for Hyperion.

if Hyperion did fight for Cronus, i think he would have done so only out of obligation (because Cronus is the king, and he defeated Ouranos).

THEIA

Theia’s the eldest of her sisters, and i think she has always been a bit of a natural-born leader.

i think she gets along best with Rhea ^-^

but while Rhea is a little more level-headed, i think Theia can be louder and more hot-headed, with a quicker temper.

given that she is the goddess “who endowed gold, silver and gems with their brilliance and intrinsic value ”, i think it’s a fair hc to say that she enjoys jewellery and pretty, shiny things, but, in saying that, i don’t think she could be bought over with gifts.

i think Theia is more strong-willed than Hyperion, and i think she is best reflected in Selene who takes after her the most.

i imagine Selene to be very graceful and elegant- willing to fight, but only once she’s carefully understood her opponents and her situation. 

in the Theogony, Hesiod writes that all the Titans were hesitant about killing Ouranos, except Cronus who stood up and rallied them, and while i think Rhea was the first to agree with Cronus, i think Theia supported him next. but!! she wouldn’t have ever supported him during the Titanomachy- i think she would have taken Zeus’ side, if she was involved in the fighting.

also, this isn’t really relevant i guess, but i really like the idea that Theia’s weapon of choice is a whip. like one of those ones made out of a chain with the sharp blades at the end, so that it sparkles as it slices through the air. i just think it’d be neat :D

COEUS

alright, now, strictly speaking, Coeus doesn’t have much of a mythology- he’s pretty much only known as the father of Asteria (mother of Hecate) and Leto, and the guy who ruled in the North when Cronus first became king.

BUT!! very interestingly, in the Argonautica, it’s said that Coeus was thrown into Tartarus after the Titanomachy along with his bros, but he went insane and tried to escape, but Cerberus, being the good guard-dog he is, caught him and sent him back.

anyways, i think this is very interesting because none of the other Titans are really given such a myth.. i mean, none of the other Titans went so insane that they tried to escape from Tartarus (at least, not that I know of).

this myth fits in with my hc that Coeus has the least will/strength-of-mind from all the Titans.

to be honest though, in the same way that i don’t like the idea of Hyperion being sent to Tartarus, i don’t really like that Coeus would have been sent there either. his daughters are Asteria and Leto, and both of them must have been loved by Zeus.

Asteria’s daughter is Hecate, whom Hesiod says was honoured by Zeus above all others. so while Asteria isn’t listed as one of Zeus’ lovers, i think he had a lot of respect for her.

Leto, as we all know, was Zeus’ sixth wife and the mother of his beloved Apollo and Artemis, so there’s no doubt that he loved her.

and so, in light of this, i just can’t imagine that Coeus’ daughters didn’t appeal to Zeus and ask him to have mercy on Coeus, because if they didn’t plead for him, this might imply that they didn’t feel pity for him, which further implies that they might not have loved him as a father at all. and the natural conclusion of such a sentiment is that Coeus really wasn’t much of a father to them- and if that’s the case, then that means that NONE of Gaia’s Titan sons (except Oceanus) were good fathers. and idk, that just doesn’t sit well with me. 

why is it that only the goddesses were spared? are they somehow naturally always gonna be on the hero’s side because they’re female? are the gods always gonna be on the villain’s side because they’re male... “boys stick together”? idk it’s dumb. 

that’s why i like the idea that Asteria and Leto must have pleaded for him- i think he was a good father, and they did love him. did Zeus listen? i guess that’s another story. 

but i do like the idea that Coeus didn’t really want to be on Cronus’ side, it’s just that he was scared of the consequences of opposing him- Coeus is regarded as the titan of “rational intelligence”, and if you ask me, it’d be pretty rational to not want to fight against a psycho when you have a family to think about.

also, i know it’s not a part of the actual myths, but i do like the idea that Coeus was a titan of magic/witchcraft as well, because that might explain where Hecate gets her abilities from.

PHOEBE

Phoebe is Coeus’ wife, and she’s also the titan goddess of prophetic wisdom.

once again, there really isn’t much lore for her beyond the idea that she was the oracle before Apollo.

this isn’t in the myths, but my hc is that Asteria and Leto represent Coeus and Phoebe’s domains- so while Coeus’ magic gets passed down to Asteria and then to Hecate, Phoebe’s prophetic powers are transferred to Leto and then to Apollo. 

so, although, it’s not supported by the myths, i hc that Leto had prophetic powers as well, it just might have not been as strong as Phoebe’s or Apollo’s.

anyways, back to Phoebe- i think that the best word to describe Phoebe would be “sweet”. i think she’s very kind, and generous, and mild-mannered, where most of her sisters are a little more.. wild.

i don’t think she’s much of a fighter, nor is she devious or scheming. she’s really just quite innocent.

CRIUS

Crius is another Titan without much mythology.. his main role is as an ancestor of the gods, and apparently as the first to observe the constellations, thus why he was known as the titan of the constellations. which is pretty cool IMO.

i personally imagine Crius to be very intelligent and smart. i think, given his domain, he really enjoys stargazing <3 

for the most part, he’s a very level-headed, calm, and reasonable guy, but i think he’s also quite aloof, and not very vocal about his emotions.

i think that he’s pretty comfortable with bending his morals to suit the bigger picture, and that’s why i think he does actively support Cronus during the Titanomachy (hence why he gets sent to Tartarus).

i don’t think he really cares for pranks or jokes. in a sense, he is very similar to Oceanus, and from all their siblings, i think growing up, he gave Oceanus the least amount of trouble.

Crius’ children are Pallas, Perses, and Astraeus. 

i’d imagine that Crius has control over the stars and the constellations, and is capable of what i’d call “celestial magic”. and i think this ability is inherited by Perses, who becomes the father of Hecate by Asteria, and that’s how the magic gets passed down to Hecate, and why Hecate is so revered as the ultimate magic goddess.

just as i said earlier that Phoebe and Coeus aren’t really fighters, i don’t think Crius is a fighter either. he’s more of a strategist, and would rely on magic rather than using actual swords and stuff.

anyways, enough about the Titanomachy!! i think my third favourite pairing after Cronus x Rhea, and Oceanus x Tethys, is Crius x Eurybia! 

there is no mythology concerning how they met or how they were married, but i like the idea that for most of her life, Eurybia was raised by Gaia and Pontus away from the rest of the Titans,, but Gaia, who is more risk-taking than Pontus, understood that Eurybia wouldn’t stay with them forever, so eventually Eurybia starts leaving their home more often and she goes out exploring the world.

and on one of these occasions, she stumbles into a forest in the South, which is part of Crius’ domain, and that’s where they meet for the first time.

i think that Eurybia is always more at ease with her feelings than Crius, and she’s very vocal about it,, which would make for a good comedy routine with the more conservative Crius, who’s less willing to let emotions rule his head, but under the guidance of love, eventually opens up more <3

+EURYBIA

Eurybia is not one of the 12 Titans, but she is the daughter of Gaia and Pontus, AND Crius’ wife, and i really like my idea of her so i’m including her here ^-^

in Hesiod’s Theogony, he describes Eurybia as having “a heart of flint within her”, which is a really cool idea!!! she’s also described as the goddess of “mastery over the seas”, which refers to the things that control the sea like the winds, and the Moon, etc.

her name also means “wide-forced”, so i imagine her to be a very headstrong and free-willed goddess.

because her father is Pontus (the sea), and she also has some control over the sea, i imagine her to be a little unpredictable, like the sea. i think she has moments where she can fly into an intense rage, or she could be absolutely calm.

i like this idea because she becomes almost the antithesis of Crius. where Crius is more calm and rational, Eurybia is more passionate and unpredictable. i think they balance each other out very nicely.

strictly speaking, Eurybia probably was not thrown into Tartarus at the end of the Titanomachy, but i hc that she was.

i think during the Titanomachy, she would have sided with Crius, and she would have fought on his side because she loved him and would have supported him in anything that he did (also once again, i don’t like the idea that Cronus only had the support of his bros, and that only the guys got thrown into Tartarus :/).

Astraeus is Eos’ husband, and Pallas is Styx’s husband, and both Eos and Styx, on many occasions in the actual myths, have been evidenced to be on Zeus’ side. so, although in reality, Pallas at the very least probably would’ve been on Cronus’ side (since, in the Theogony, Styx takes her children to Zeus first, and Pallas isn’t really mentioned), i like the idea that Astraeus and Pallas both fought on Zeus’ side instead, and escaped punishment.

which makes things tricky for Eurybia, because some of her sons are on one side, and then her husband and her other son are on the other side- what’s she supposed to do? 

Eurybia is too headstrong to simply be passive and sit back and let her boys fight, so i think first she fights on Crius’ side, but then she also fights to save Astraeus and Pallas when they get into trouble. 

i think she accepts that her children have grown up and made their decisions, but she also understands that she will always be their mother, and she will never bear them any resentment for fighting against their father.

also, one of Pallas’ children is named “Bia”, and i’d like to think that he named her after his mum <3

i think “Bia” is Crius’ nickname for Eurybia <3

IAPETUS

i hc Iapetus to be the supreme troublemaker amongst the Titans.

i think he has served as the largest source of headaches experienced by Oceanus when the Titans were young >:)

Iapetus loves jokes i think. he loves pranks.. all kinds of humour. he’s more street smart than book smart, and actually i think if he was trying to study, he’d lose focus after 2 minutes. but call him to participate in a prank? the guy is coming up with plans like a general preparing a war campaign.

i think as the second youngest of Gaia’s Titan sons, Iapetus has always gotten along the best with Cronus. prepare for trouble, and make it double :)

this is specific, but i’ve got this idea that when they were young, Iapetus and Cronus decided to slip some dye into Themis and Hyperion’s basins, so when they washed their hair, Themis’ hair turned pink, and Hyperion’s turned green,, but Oceanus caught Iapetus and Cronus and forced them to wash out the dye as punishment ^-^

anyways, what i’m saying is that Iapetus and Cronus have always been the closest of brothers.

i also think that Iapetus hates people who boast about themselves, or act as though they’re superior to everyone else, so he’s never really gotten along with Themis (who i imagine to be a little vain- more on that later), and that’s why he likes to play pranks on her (to irritate her).

Iapetus has five children- Prometheus, Atlas, Anchiale, Menoetius, and Epimetheus- by the Oceanid Asia... but i think that from all of them, Prometheus is the most like Iapetus.

i think Prometheus shares Iapetus’ mischievousness and his wit, which is exactly what causes him to end up being chained to a rock with eagles eating his liver :///

back to Iapetus though- i think he values loyalty a lot. so, during the Titanomachy, there is absolutely no question about him siding with Cronus- Cronus is his brother, and his King.. he set them free from Ouranos, and he even sacrificed his own children for the sake of peace, and, messed up as it is, i think Iapetus is pretty moved by that. 

i think Cronus always had more guts than the rest of the Titans, and Iapetus always admired that,, which is why he supports Cronus till the end,, and i imagine he must have been really disappointed in Prometheus when he learnt that Prometheus had sided with Zeus :(

THEMIS

okay so in the above section i said that i hc Themis to be a little vain.

now by “vain”,, i don’t mean that she was a narcissist or that she was arrogant,, but i think sometimes her siblings,, especially Iapetus,, would mistake her advice and counsel as sounding a bit self-righteous.

Themis is the goddess of divine law and order,, so essentially- justice. and i think that from all the Titans, she has the purest sense of right and wrong, and she’s incredibly wise and sensible.

so for the Titans that tend to bend the rules a little- like Cronus and Iapetus, sometimes her advice doesn’t go down too well.

additionally, justice isn’t always what we want it to be- it’s not always nice, and it’s not always pleasant, and sometimes it doesn’t feel fair. and Themis embodies that concept, which is why she doesn’t always get along with her siblings (to clarify though- none of the Titans hate each other!! they’re still siblings, and they love each other, pre-Titanomachy).

as an individual though, i think Themis is very outspoken. she’s very loud, and i think she is just a little judgemental.

it’s said that Themis had oracular powers, and that when Cronus became King, he made her the oracle- and i like that idea, it makes sense.

although Themis can be harsh, she always gives good advice and wise counsel, and only a complete dumbass would hear her words and choose not to heed them.

during the Titanomachy, Themis undoubtedly sides with Zeus. and after that, i think she continues to serve Olympus with her wisdom and judgement.

this isn’t strictly related to anything, but in Egyptian mythology, the goddess of justice is Ma’at, and i love the idea of Themis and Ma’at hanging out together, doing social justice things... awesome ^-^

MNEMOSYNE

finally, Mnemosyne <3

“Mnemosyne” is such a lengthy name, so i have this hc that her siblings call her “Mnemo” instead (like, Nemo) :D

anyways, Mnemosyne is the titan of memory, and her children are the Muses, who pretty much embody every aspect of the Arts, and i think that really hints at Mnemosyne’s character.

i hc Mnemosyne to be extremely gifted at pretty much everything.

but, even though she knows that she’s really gifted, she isn’t the kind of person to show off about it. she’s always gracious and willing to teach others her talents.

i think she has a really superb voice, and when the Titans were young, i think she might’ve sung for her younger siblings.

Mnemosyne is also a little feisty i think. she’s short-tempered, but in saying that, i think it’s difficult to make her angry.

again, a kinda random hc here but i really like the idea that Mnemosyne’s weapon of choice is a battle-axe. i mean, she’s this sweet, kind-looking goddess, but she’s swinging her battle-axe and is about to wreak real havoc. it’s great ^-^