#although she is not at all what heaven was planning - in fact

[yellow-faerie]

Wow, I have a fic description and a fic title before I've even established a proper fic plot

(this is probably because I'm very excited about this fic and it's potential...)

Edit:

Here are my tags because I started explaining the plot and want it actually in the post rather than just the tags lol:

[chaedomi]

JEWEL OF OBELIA

SUMMARY . to them you were a jewel, precious and highly valuable. they, in turn, will express their strong emotions toward you, even if it means resorting to... more hostile methods.

CHARACTERS . ATHANASIA / CLAUDE DE ALGER OBELIA

WARNINGS . YANDERE, female reader, platonic, ooc, violence, death, suicide, unhealthy relationships (if i missed any, kindly alert me)

WORDCOUNT . 1.7k+ / MASTERLIST.

LETTERS . why have all the readers in my manhwa fics originally died so far... anyway, can you tell where i started losing motivation?

IN THE novel, Lovely Princess, the story went like this. True to its title, the book contained Lovely Princesses. There was The First Princess, akin to the moon, who held a gloomy and foggy disposition. Then came The Second Princess, resembling the sun, bright and cheery. And finally, The Third Princess, similar to the stars, was reserved but gentle and a source of comfort.

You were… The First Princess’s younger half-sister. Although your mother was unknown (you were found inside a basket in the gardens crying) those jeweled eyes and your uncanny appearance close to The Emperor were solid proof that you were in fact of royal blood. It was… certainly strange to learn that the book entailed you as an 'unimportant' character. While The Second Princess was adored by the whole continent, the love the people harbored for you, The Third Princess, could put The Second Princess to shame. They treated you as though you were some supreme gift bestowed from the heavens, to be treasured and pampered. And among those who glorified you… was your father, The Cold-Hearted Emperor. You were like The Protagonist more than The Second Princess could ever be.

You were also… the best sister anyone could ask for to The First Princess. Because The First Princess was deprived of affection in her life, she mostly relied on you to fill the gaps in her heart. And you endearingly did so, trying your best to shine a light inside her darkness. It soon became that you both were inseparable, attached by the hip.

…So, obviously, you will spiral down into despair over The First Princess's death. You knew The First Princess was innocent of The Second Princess's poisoning. She was simply too sweet to commit a vile act, especially when she too took a liking to The Second Princess. But, alas, your reasoning went through one ear and out the other, and without proper evidence, your father executed The First Princess.

However, just as The Emperor's wrath was not to be underestimated, so was the extent of your grief as you promptly took away your life hours after The First Princess's execution. And that was the sad ending of your story, The Third Princess.

HOW WAS THAT ANY FAIR??? The confusion of the roles and the cheesy plotline were already bad enough on their own, but your unnecessary death pretty much destroyed the chances of her leaving a positive review. Was it done to reestablish the fact you were an unimportant character, or to remind everyone that The Second Princess is the original best girl in the story…? No amount of copious explanations can ever make ATHANASIA understand the validation for your death.

What she can come to understand however is that you, out of all people, did NOT deserve to die. You had all the rights to receive a happy ending just like The Second Princess… and that is what she aspired to make a reality as she was tossed into the fantasy world of the novel. It was obvious that it all went to hell when The First Princess was executed at the hands of The Emperor. So, in order to avoid your death, she will have to avoid hers first.

A genius plan, she dubbed it, stealing various riches from the Ruby Palace to live the rest of her life on as she escapes. She also thought of the brilliant idea of taking you along with her, after all, being inside the palace is kind of… the reason for your death, was it not!? Why not avoid the source altogether!? Or… that is what was supposed to happen before she accidentally stumbled across The Emperor four years early. Now, she will have to scrap that genius plan. Damn…

On a bright note, as time passed, using an alternative plan, Athanasia eventually evaded all chances of earning death at the hands of her father. This means that you too won’t have a pitiful ending as you originally did! Yay!

You truly didn’t deserve to die, and Athanasia will keep on saying it as much as needed. The years she spent beside you as your sister, further strengthened her motivation to keep you alive. She also understood why The First Princess had a strong attachment toward you. Innocent, Pure, Patient, Merciful, and Kind… who wouldn’t swoon over a person with such admirable traits? What struck her heart the way it did, was your affection. In her previous life, Athanasia… didn’t have people around her to provide her with love.

So, it surprised her a lot when it happened. Sure, she had love from her Nanny and the rest of the maids, but yours had her heart pumping, energy rushing through her veins. It was warm… a feeling she wanted to cling to for an eternity. Was it silly that she felt envious of a fictional character? To think that The First Princess was subjected to this kind of treatment from you… How did it feel to live her dream? Not that it matters anymore. Now, she can have you to all herself! You wouldn’t mind if she got a little… greedy, right? Of course, you won’t! After all, if you learned of her tremendous effort to keep you safe, why wouldn’t you reward her with more of your presence? What she does is in your favor. So, don’t get too upset if what she does seems a bit extreme, alright? It’s all for your benefit.

Betrayal can hurt. But, betrayal stings when it comes from the person you trusted and loved the most. You didn’t understand why it had upset her more than it upsetted you. More so, if she was so against the idea, why hadn’t she said so first? She was supportive about it too, choosing to help pick out a perfect disguise for your outing in the town. So why was it that on the day you were about to leave, lo and behold, there was your father by your doorway, inclusive of his knight… and your sister beside him, smiling triumphantly? Maybe if you had paid attention to how the shine left your sister’s eyes as you told her of your plan, you could have avoided such a dreadful punishment.

What bugged you the most was how Athanasia carried out her day normally, and acted sweetly to you, as if she didn’t partially contribute to the punishment of breaking your legs. Today was no different, as she sat on the chair beside your bed rambling on about her day. “You know, that’s the most I’ve seen Daddy upset.” She laughed, tracing her finger down your legs. “Usually, he would never dream of even hurting a strand of your hair. What you’ve done was really bad…”

She smiled at you, her jeweled eyes looking all the more terrifying under the dark lighting in your room. “I don’t understand. I should feel despaired seeing my sister in so much pain. Why does it bring me so much relief?” She sighed, holding one of your hands in hers. “...You scared me terribly with what you told me earlier. My mind couldn’t stop focusing on the many possibilities that would arise with you out there. Even worse, what if they learned of your true identity, and an enemy nearby attacks you?”

“I agreed with your plan, solely to avoid trouble. If I said no, you would have avoided me, right? I… don’t ever want to see you in danger, or place you in it, knowing I could have done something to prevent it. Not like anything like that will happen anytime soon!” She gently poked your injured legs. “I will help ensure that too.” You didn’t realize that the tears building in your eyes began to fall, your sister’s fingers quickly working to wipe them away.

In the novel, CLAUDE naturally favored you more than The First Princess. Upon your first encounter during the festival on The First Princess’s ninth birthday, with an outstretched hand, he escorted you back to the party, leaving your older sister in the dust. You lived a rather lavish life after that, him spoiling you with exquisite goods. So, it’s not like you had to form some extreme plan like Athanasia to protect yourself from the dangers that lurked inside the palace. Everyone here adored you…

Yet, not only did Athanasia’s interference with the plotline create many changes for her, but it also resulted in triggering unsettling events for you. Now that The Cold-Hearted Emperor has learned to display affection for the firstborn he originally detested, where would that place you, the daughter he always loved?

…His methods were very much frightening, even traumatizing, you may add. The numerous times you witnessed something gruesome to the eye, for the littlest offenses toward you. He would imprison, he would murder, he would execute, all in your name. His presence too, was very much suffocating, more than Athanasia, and that spoke volumes.

You hated how they both attached themselves to you, but, if you had to choose, you would pick Athanasia in a heartbeat. For the cold jeweled eyes that scrutinized every movement you made were too much for your poor heart to endure. It was as though he was waiting, waiting for your slip-up, to gain a perfect reason to permanently confine you behind the walls of your bedroom. And you fear… that the day you kissed your freedom goodbye was approaching quicker than you initially anticipated.

“What will it take for you to treat me as normally as the rest?” the (h.c) haired girl wept, clutching on tightly her father’s robes. “Shall I become like my sister, Athanasia? If I do… will I become like a free bird, and be granted more privileges?” grief-stricken jeweled eyes peered up at her father. “Will you finally release me from the shackles you trapped me in?”

“Do what you want,” her father smirked. but, as quickly as her hope came so was it shattered. the piercing concept. his voice in her ears was the cruelest of them all. “Such a thing won’t happen till the day I perish.” what a terrible vow. she knew he would do anything in his power to maintain his promise. and so, the deepest of despair like never before flooded her eyes. what have you done to receive this…?

you were very precious. nothing, not even the rarest pieces in the world could be compared to you; you were the highest value among them all. for all, it was a high requirement to treat you with the utmost importance and respect. yes, to them, to everyone, you were, the jewel of obelia.

©chaedomi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[flowerandblood]

The Fall from the Heavens (21)

[ dark • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: oral sex, sexual tension, smut, angst, dirty talk ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

When she woke up in her chamber the sun was already slowly setting behind the walls of the Red Keep. She muttered under her breath in displeasure, twisting in her place, feeling discomfort in her lower abdomen and looked down, feeling a wave of disappointment and pain once again.

She sighed heavily, putting aside the already cold purse of water that had brought her great relief and allowed her to sleep for a few hours. Although she was distraught and terrified, the thought of her uncle's reaction and behaviour towards her made a warm, pleasant feeling spill over her heart.

She smiled involuntarily at the thought, wondering if he had just been at the Small Council meeting and would be back soon.

It wasn't long when the door to her chamber opened, and a moment later her husband walked in, pale, staring at her with wide-open eye.

Her heart pounded harder in horror at that look.

"We have received your mother's demands."

The word that she wanted to see her, to speak to her, and the fact that Aegon had agreed to it at the same time filled her with joy and horror.

She missed her and longed to hear her voice again, but she did not know what her mother was planning, what she hoped to hear from her lips.

What if she believed that her daughter had married her uncle just to survive?

That her affection for him was a lie and she would stab him in the back when she got the chance?

Her husband didn't seem pleased either as the affair became more and more complicated and there seemed to be no end to it all, no solution they could reach together.

On the second morning after King sent his response, a raven arrived in the Red Keep with word that her mother had agreed to the arrangements and would indeed be waiting with her husband in the Eyrie on the appointed day to speak to her daughter and her half-brother.

Her husband had no intention of spending a single night in the Eyrie, so he just acceded to his brother's suggestion and decided that the day before the agreed date they would travel to Harrenhal. She was not delighted with this idea, having heard many unflattering opinions about her father's brother.

Word had also reached her that a witch lived behind the walls of this grim fortress.

Still, she understood her husband's caution and anxiety, so she did not defy him, demanding something else in return.

"I will fly with you on Larax."

"No."

"If my mother sees that you did not allow me to fly on my own dragon she will not believe that anything that leaves my mouth was spoken of my own free will. She will see it as an excuse to believe that I still remain to you only a prisoner." She said impatiently; her husband turned his face towards the fire, sitting on one of the chairs at the table, licking his lower lip with his tongue in a nervous gesture, frustrated.

He did not reply.

She approached him slowly and knelt beside him on the cold stone floor, taking his hand in hers, placing a warm, tender kiss on it. She saw out of the corner of her eye that he had closed his eyelids, that he was losing the battle with himself.

"Please, husband. Give me this joy."

Though reluctant, her uncle finally gave her his wordless consent, but he remained silent throughout the evening and locked himself in his mind, tense.

It didn't help that she was still bleeding.

Not wishing to cause him any discomfort with an intimacy full of these disgusting fluids, she did not attempt to touch him, and he, apparently fearing that he might cause her pain in this state, also refrained from doing so.

The carriages filled with their belongings had long since left King's Landing when she and her uncle left the walls of the Red Keep.

She could see that he was pale, looking at her with his lips pressed together, unhappy and unsure whether he was making the right decision. He sighed heavily as she touched his cheek with her soft palm.

"I will join you in the sky soon, husband. I promise." She whispered and rose on her tiptoes, placing a moist, warm kiss on his cheek exactly as she had done that day, when he ran after her. Her husband hummed under his breath at her words and moved ahead, while she turned the other way, heading for the Dragon's Pit.

At the behest of her uncle, the servants who had been taking care of their dragons since their childhood led Larax into the main cave – her dragoness squealed loudly in despair at the sight of her, her sounds reminding her of the crying of a child.

She ran to her with tears in her eyes, feeling that the sight was breaking her heart.

She had been locked away for so long, terrified and imprisoned just as she was.

"Shijetra nyke, Larax. Shijetra nyke. Lykiri (Forgive me, Larax. Forgive me. Easy)." She mumbled, reaching out to her – her dragoness tilted her head and let her touch her, pushing against her chest, showing her how much she longed for her closeness.

As she climbed into her saddle again, as she again commanded her to move ahead, to take to the skies, and as the wind and speed blew her hair away, she felt a wonderful surge of adrenaline, freedom and happiness. She soared high into the sky, commanding her to fly in the right direction.

Larax let out a loud cry, terrified, wanting to escape, when suddenly Vhagar flew over her, her mighty wings causing a wave of air to hit them.

"Lykiri, Larax! Gaomagon sagon zūgagon daor! Sōvēs! (Calm down, Larax! Do not be afraid! Fly!)" She commanded, and after a moment she managed to regain control of her, heading after the great beast towards the fortress where her father had died.

Although she knew her husband was terrified at the prospect of letting her ride her own dragon, she noticed out of the corner of her eye his silhouette and his face staring back at her, from a distance she had the impression he was smiling.

She thought with a squeeze in her heart that he must have been dreaming of this moment since they were children.

Him and her, flying side by side on their dragons.

Exactly as it should be.

Thanks to the good weather, their several-hour journey turned out to be less tiresome than she thought it would be; she felt an immense ache in her muscles after a long break from flying as soon as they landed and she dismounted from her saddle anyway.

She had to wait for her husband, who had to land on Vhagar much further away so that no houses were destroyed, therefore she allowed herself to look around, feeling that her heart was pounding like mad.

"My Lady. What a joy." She heard the voice of Larys Strong as he strode towards her through the gates of his fortress, leaning on his staff, followed by several guards and a woman who immediately caught her attention.

Her long, straight black hair, her bare shoulders, her full breasts, her slender figure and her eyes surrounded by her dark lashes, her irises having the colour of fresh, juicy grass.

She lowered her gaze, never having seen such a beautiful and mysterious woman before in her life, finally glancing at Lord Strong, realising she should say something in reply.

She had never trusted him or had a good opinion of him.

She believed he was responsible for her father's death and she didn't want to speak to him.

"My Lord Strong. Thank you for being willing to host us." She mumbled finally, forcing a warm smile, Larys Strong nodded. They all bowed as they spotted her husband approaching from the distance, his black leather coat and hair blown by the wind.

"My Prince."

"Lord Strong. Take us to our quarters." Her uncle commanded him, his voice as hoarse and shaky as hers from the emotion they had both apparently experienced while flying.

Her uncle and Larys Strong walked through the gate first and she moved to follow them, the woman who stood beside him, whoever she was, strolled a few paces behind her, her pleasant scent reaching her nostrils.

Lavender and cloves.

"We have prepared for you, my Prince, the most magnificent quarters in the entire fortress. I have no use for it anyway; I would get tired climbing all those steps every day. Nearby we have prepared rooms for your wife, I assure you −"

"No need. My wife will spend the night in my chamber." Her husband interrupted him, pulling his leather gloves from his hands, stepping inside the room, looking around with frustration and impatience.

Having been with him on a daily routine, accustomed to him conversing with her of his own accord, she had already forgotten how much he resented speaking to strangers for longer than necessary.

"As you wish, my Prince. However, I will leave the rooms I spoke of at your wife's disposal for her own convenience. I have also assigned her a servant to ensure that while we men are conversing, she will have company. There are several matters I would like to discuss with you."

She and her uncle cast quick, concerned glances at each other; her husband hit the side of his cheek with the tip of his tongue, furious.

She knew the expression on his face, knew he was only dreaming of rest, but they were his guests and he was not in a position to simply refuse him.

Lord Strong looked at her expectantly and her uncle nodded at her, albeit reluctantly, to leave them alone. The woman standing beside her raised her hand and indicated with a gesture where they were to go, so she set off in that direction.

The chamber her father's brother had assigned her was smaller and more modest than that of her husband's, but it had a more pleasant view from the window, straight over the forest and the clearing where her dragoness slept.

She involuntarily smiled under her breath as she pressed her palm against the glass, seeing Larax, forgetting for a moment that she was not alone.

"Do you desire to change into something…more comfortable, My Lady?" She heard a low, melodious, pleasant female voice behind her. She looked up at her and nodded.

"Yes. What do they call you?" She asked uncertainly. The woman smiled, looking at her calmly.

"Alys, my lady."

An awkward silence fell between them for a moment.

"I would not wish to… misunderstand who you are and what you have in common with Lord Strong, Alys." She said after a moment; the woman burst into a hearty, light laugh and shook her head.

"I am not his mistress. I am his relative, though I do not bear his name, as any bastard would." She replied softly, her voice gentle and full of understanding, as if she were speaking to a small child. She blinked, shocked by her words, her question leaving her lips before she had time to think what she was saying.

"Did you know my father?"

The woman looked at her for a moment before she nodded.

"Yes, my Lady."

She felt her hand clench into a fist, her heart starting to beat like mad.

"His death wasn't an unfortunate ordeal, was it?" She asked in a trembling voice, the corner of the woman's mouth lifting in a grin.

"There are no such thing as unfortunate ordeals, my Lady."

She left her enigmatic response unanswered, both intrigued and terrified of her at the same time; it seemed to her that the gaze of her luscious green eyes pierced her to the core.

"After the word has reached us here all the way from King's Landing, I have been looking forward to our meeting with impatience, and while I will admit that it is not what I expected, I am beginning to understand your husband's desperation." She spoke again with a hint of amusement from which she felt uncomfortable, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment at her words.

"What do you mean?" She muttered uneasily; the woman's gaze swept over her figure, as if assessing what she saw before her and combining it with her own conclusions in her head.

"Men are easily driven to desperation, though it usually takes time. They like to gain and take pride in what they have conquered; the greater, in their mind, the value of what they enclose in their embrace, the less they are willing to let it go." She said in a light, low, slightly dreamy voice, looking somewhere to the side, intertwining her hands in front of her.

"Your husband follows you with his thoughts even when he is not looking at you. His head, even when he is not speaking to you, is directed towards you so that he can see you out of the corner of his eye. When he feels discomfort, he involuntarily seeks your face to experience understanding and comfort."

She stared at her in disbelief, wondering if she had been able to see such a thing being in their company for just a moment, unable to hide how pleased her words made her.

She lowered her gaze, embarrassed, her heart pounding like mad.

Alys helped her change into one of the gowns that had arrived in Harrenhal in the chests before them, her long, graceful fingers entwining her dark, long hair into an intricate bun of many braids surrounding her head.

She had never had a similar hairstyle before and she liked it very much.

Alys escorted her to the chamber where her husband and Lord Strong had just eaten supper, then bowed and left, leaving them alone. Her husband looked at her intently as she sat beside him at the table with a smile, Larys Strong cast her a look full of curiosity.

"Beautiful hairstyle, my Lady." He said softly, but she felt a sense of discomfort instead of gratitude, which, however, she did not give vent to in any way. She looked at her uncle, for some reason emboldened by the woman's words.

"And you, my husband? What do you think?" She asked softly, her uncle throwing her a calm, impassive look.

"I prefer it when your hair is loose." He merely replied, reaching for his goblet full of wine, taking a loud sip from it, setting it down on the table with a loud clinking of steel.

She felt like a silly little girl and lowered her gaze, feeling a squeeze in her throat as an awkward silence fell around them.

What had crossed her mind to ask such foolishness?

Did he think she asked it out of vanity?

It seemed to her that her uncle regretted the coldness in which he had expressed his opinion, for before she left to prepare for sleep he reminded her that immediately when she had finished she was to appear in his chamber.

She nodded her head at his words and pressed her lips together, only in the corridor letting a few regretful, embarrassed tears run down her face.

How could she take it so personally, expect empty compliments from him when she knew perfectly well that he loathed it?

As she stepped into her chamber she asked one of the servants to summon Alys, wanting her to help her take off her gown and to prepare her hot bath.

She had no intention of going to her husband after hours of travelling on a dragon all sticky from sweat and exertion.

Alys walked into her room with a smile and bowed, approaching her, seeing that she herself had already begun to untie her bodice.

"Was the Prince pleased with his wife's appearance, my Lady?" She asked softly, and she swallowed quietly and sighed, lowering her gaze.

"Yes. Though he expressed his opinion that he prefers it when my hair is loose." She said resignedly, as if she had failed in some way by not meeting his expectations.

"Oh, that's understandable. He surely associates it with your intimacy and closeness, as any man would. The entwined curls and braids are for those around you, meanwhile the softness of your hair, the smell of them, the sight of them spread on the bed is something meant only for him." She replied lightly, as if she were speaking of something completely obvious and natural. She blinked, feeling that somehow her words comforted her.

"You know a lot about men…don't you?" She mumbled uncertainly, meeting her gaze in her reflection in the mirror, from which a shiver ran along her spine.

"Yes, my Lady."

She swallowed hard, feeling her heart pounding hard at the thought.

"Have you seduced many yet?" She asked at last; the woman involuntarily giggled under her breath, finally releasing her from her gown, which fell lightly to the stone floor, leaving her in her white night gown.

Thankfully, her bleeding had almost stopped.

"Yes." She said with amusement, taking her garment in her hands and placing it gently back in one of the chests, being careful not to crumple it as she meanwhile stepped into the bath and sat in it with a sigh of relief, sinking into the hot water.

"I would like to … make my husband happy tonight. I know he needs relief from what's about to happen tomorrow. However, I can't do it, at least for now, in the way I usually do." She mumbled embarrassedly, trailing her fingers along the edge of the tub, not daring to look at her in fear that the woman would mock her.

"The easiest thing to do in that case would be for you to use your mouth." She replied with amusement, and she raised her eyes at her, shocked.

Although her husband had sunk his face between her thighs on several occasions just as he had the first night after her return to King's Landing, he had never expected her to reciprocate.

Before she could suggest anything he thrusted his manhood deep between her moist folds anyway.

The truth, however, was that even if she wanted to do it, she didn't know how.

"I'm…inexperienced in these matters." She confessed with shame, looking at her uncertainly, a smile on her face that she might have considered warm.

"I see." She murmured, approaching her slowly, startling her completely as she knelt beside her tub, gently grasping her wrist in her hand. "I can show you how you should do it, if that's what you wish, my Lady."

She swallowed hard, feeling butterflies in her stomach and excitement, she licked her lower lip feeling it dry up with emotion.

"…How?"

Alys smiled, leaning towards her hand – she shuddered when her lips gently touched her finger, wondering with a fast beating heart what she was doing.

"Imagine that this is his manhood. Men don't say it out loud because pride won't let them, but they adore it when a woman showers them with gentle, tender caresses." She cooed as she closed her eyelids, running her full, moist lips up and down her pointing finger, leaving a wet trail of her saliva on it.

She looked at this sight as if enchanted, feeling an involuntary throbbing inside her imagining that she had knelt before her uncle and touched him like this.

She drew in air loudly, feeling a pleasant shiver run down her spine as the woman slipped the tip of her finger gently into her mouth, teasing it with her wet, fleshy tongue; she sighed helplessly feeling her nipples become hard, her walls clenching around nothing.

"− and then − when he begins breathing faster − when you feel he's completely ready −" She gasped softly between the brushes of her lips and suddenly slipped her whole finger into her mouth, starting to suck it unhurriedly with a quiet click of her saliva.

She didn't even notice when she began to breathe through her mouth, when her thighs clenched involuntarily under the water, seeking any kind of release of the tension that was building up inside her.

There was something so lewd and inappropriate about what she was seeing and feeling that she felt like a moan was about to come out of her throat.

She shuddered as Alys suddenly opened her eyes − a misty darkness in the green of her irises that she had often seen in her husband's gaze, her lips released her finger with a quiet click.

"− you pretty little thing − it's usually him taking care of you, isn't it? − he can't deny himself − I can't blame him −" She whispered, and she felt heat in her lower abdomen, her walls clenching greedily around nothing.

They both flinched as the door to her chamber suddenly opened, Alys stood up quickly and bowed, closing her eyes.

"My Prince."

"− get out −" She heard her husband's warning growl; she turned over her shoulder, looking at him with wide eyes, all red, breathing loudly through her mouth, looking shocked as the woman immediately left her quarters.

"− what is the meaning of this? − hm? −" He asked furiously standing over the tub as soon as the door closed behind her, fury in his eyes.

She couldn't find any meaningful answer in her head, her mind was completely blank.

Her uncle pressed his lips together in impatience, apparently trying not to explode.

"− can't I leave you alone even for a fucking moment? −" He hissed, and she shook her head, looking at him pleadingly.

"− I − I asked her for help −"

"− help with what, that she had to kneel beside you and hold your hand? − you are fucking bare −"

"− I − I can't tell you, it's embarrassing −"

"− gods, I swear I'm about to rip you to shreds −"

"− we were discussing embarrassing feminine matters − she showed me something…important − for you too −" She muttered, his jaw clenched in displeasure.

He didn't believe her.

"− I want to know what this brazen whore was doing to my wife −" He growled with an impatience so strong that she knew that if she didn't give him the answer he expected, her uncle was really about to explode and would surely knock her out along with her tub on the floor.

"− very well − I − I will try to show it to you − just − just don't get upset and sit on the bed −" She mumbled pleadingly, looking at him with her big eyes.

She saw that at her words his anger began to slowly fade, giving place to a slight intrigue in his gaze.

He hummed low and took a few steps back, as she requested, sitting down on her bed, looking at her watchfully.

She swallowed hard, rising from the tub with a loud splash of water, walking slowly out of the bath. He blinked, surprised when she sat on the floor in front of him, but with her back to him, reaching for the pins woven into her hair.

"− you have to help me, because I won't be able to do it myself until morning −" She muttered in displeasure, all heated up from the hot water her body had just been submerged in, her nightgown all soaked, clinging to her naked skin.

She heard her husband sigh heavily, leaning over her with a loud creak of the bed, sliding the pins out of her hairstyle, making the curls of her hair start to fall over her shoulders.

"− it was her idea too, wasn't it? −" He sneered disapprovingly and she let the air out of her lungs, tired.

"− I really liked the way I looked −" She burbled resentfully; she heard his heavy sigh again, however this time he answered nothing more.

When her hair was finally completely loose she turned to face him, already visibly calmer, his hand involuntarily went to her cheek, his thumb running over her soft skin.

His pupil narrowed as her fingers unfastened the buckles of his tunic and reached into the ties of his breeches, she felt his bulge beneath her palms throbbing hard.

"− what are you doing? −" He muttered uncertainly, coolly, as if terrified of what he had just imagined.

"− I want to kiss you there with my lips − are you repelled by the thought? −" She asked softly, releasing his swollen, half-hard erection, feeling him shudder as she grasped it gently in her hand, guiding it to her face.

"− what? – no − b-but − I − oh −" He gasped as she ran her lips over the pink head of his cock with a rapidly pounding heart; she felt satisfaction when his length twitched aggressively in her embrace.

She knew he wanted to say more as his mouth remained open, but he simply stared at her, breathing loudly, his thumb gently stroking her cheek as she mimicked Alys's cues by running her lips from the root of his manhood to the very tip of it.

She heard him sigh in pleasure, closing his eyes for a moment, his hips involuntarily began to buck, pressing his already fully hard erection closer to her face, searching for any source of friction.

"− this − this is what she showed you? − hm? −" He gasped, as if he was simultaneously thrilled and enraged by this vision.

Not wanting him to think about it too much she used her tongue, running it up to the very top of the head of his cock, feeling the veins under his skin clearly, a low, hoarse groan stuck in his throat, his hand tightening in her hair.

"− fuck − g-gods −" He muttered in a trembling voice, his breathing increasingly shaky and accelerated – she knew he was aroused, and his sounds made her feel that unbearable, intense tickling and pulsing between her thighs again.

She was wet.

In some subconscious instinct, his hand tentatively guided the pink, swollen head of his cock against her lips, and she parted them, letting him slide between them with a loud sigh of pleasure.

"− squeeze − squeeze with your hand what doesn't fit inside − and suck − oh, yes, little one, just like that −" He exhaled delighted tilting his head back as she let him deep into her palate, his tip bumping again and again with the sure thrusts of his hips against the back wall of her throat causing her to gag, tears of exertion pooling in her eyes.

"− if this is too much − hit me twice on the thigh −" He gasped, looking down at her, and she merely nodded, clamping her hand over the base of his hard length, sucking it slowly with a loud click of her saliva.

She reminded herself about her tongue and what Alys was doing with it, so she made use of it, and every time her husband thrust his erection into her its tip teased and licked him; his two hands tightened in her hair with his low groan, quickening his pace.

"− oh − oh, fuck, little one − mghm − gods −" He panted, invading her throat with deep, fast pushes, making use of her mouth as he saw fit, a high-pitched moan erupted from her lungs as she felt him aggressively pulsing between her lips, breathing hard through her nose, trying not to suffocate.

"− I know − please, please, let me − oh, fuck, yes, swallow it, swallow, swallow, swallow −" He commanded in a shuddering gasp full of pleasure and relief. She squirmed as his hot, sticky seed spilled down her palate straight into her throat; she swallowed some of it with difficulty and coughed, trying not to choke, a pearly trickle of his spend ran off the corner of her mouth down her chin.

Good gods.

They were both panting loudly and quivering, his face pressed against her hair, on which he still clamped his fingers, not letting her escape.

"− just a moment more − please, just a moment more − so warm −" He mumbled, and she swallowed hard, breathing loudly through her nose with his half soft length deep in her throat. It seemed to her for a moment that he might have fallen asleep in that position, but eventually he took pity on her and slid out of her mouth, allowing her to take a deep breath.

She involuntarily put her arms around his knee, exhausted, hugging her face to his thigh, breathing hard, not believing she had really done it.

Her womanhood pulsed all over, her thighs were all sticky from her moisture.

She sighed in relief when she felt his large hand begin to stroke her hair with a tender, calm gesture, his breathing still erratic and accelerated.

"− come − come here − your husband need to take care of you −"

[butdaddyilovehim-hs]

Rainbows and Hospital Rooms

Based of @mindofharry 's idea of Harry being a grumpy doctor and Y/N is a new intern at the hospital :)

Word Count: 1.5k

Y/N wasn’t really sure what to expect when she walked through the revolving doors of St Thomas’ Hospital. 

She’d been awake since four am, too excited about her first day as an intern. All she’d ever wanted was to help people. Before her mum passed away, she would call her a guardian angel - always around to lend a hand whenever there was trouble. Y/N believed that her mum was her guardian angel now, looking down on her in heaven. Her sweet, bubbly nature only added to her charm. She befriended everyone she met within moments, in fact Y/N was pretty sure she hadn’t met someone she hadn’t been able to win over eventually. You see, Y/N got a kick out of being kind. Whether it be letting someone ahead of her in the grocery line or sharing a coffee with the homeless man on her street, Y/N was always looking for a way to spread kindness. 

Making a good first impression was extremely important to Y/N so when she realised that she’s lost in the lobby of the hospital she started to sweat a little bit. She had decided on a whim to bake some cookies for the other interns and since it had taken her longer than expected, she wasn’t early as she had planned, but instead right on time. But being right on time and being lost in the lobby meant that now she was… late. On her first day. 

After asking for directions as quickly as she could, a rather flustered Y/N made her way to the correct room, opening the door quietly and turning red as 5 heads turned to stare in her direction. 4 were interns like her, she could tell. Young, most wearing a nervous expression and in casual clothes. The other person in the room was different. For one, he was standing in front of all the others, evidently leading the group in some sort of welcome. He was older, significantly when compared to the others in the room but Y/N couldn’t imagine he was older than 35. Compared to her 22 years, it was a rather large gap. His eyes were a striking shade of green and when they focused on her, Y/N didn’t like the way it made her feel. A swooping feeling in her stomach overwhelmed her and she felt the urge to leave the way she came, shut the door and go home. It might have been because the man standing before her was outrageously attractive. Quite possibly the most beautiful man she had ever seen, with sculpted cheekbones, those eyes, a sharp nose and lips that looked so soft, Y/N almost wanted to lean in and touch them with her own just to see if they were really as soft as they looked. 

Unfortunately for Y/N, accompanying all this beauty was an incredibly frustrated expression and it was directed at her. 

“Miss Y/N I presume. You’re-“ the man looked down at the shiny Rolex on his left wrist. “6 minutes late. Is there a reason why you couldn’t be on time like the rest of your peers or shall we just put it down to plain disrespect?” 

Y/N’s mouth opened and then closed like a fish. She was speechless.

“I’m so sorry um… sir?” She floundered for a moment, pondering what exactly to call him.

“It’s Dr Styles, to you. This isn’t military camp, although I do run a rather tight ship. Now if you would sit down, I can continue.” 

“Ok, Dr Styles it is. I am SO sorry I’m late, you see I was just-

“Please, don’t explain yourself, I don’t have the energy to listen to whatever bullshit story you decided to come up with on the way here. I’d appreciate it if you would take a seat. Every moment I waste on you, is a moment I could be saving someone’s life.”

“But I just wanted to-”

“Y/N. Sit. Down.”

Y/N blinked as he stared at her expectantly, his expression growing more frustrated by the second. She walked slowly to the empty seat in the front row and sat down, feeling rather numb. 

“Now, as I was saying before Miss Y/N decided to make her grand entrance, my name is Dr Harry Styles and I am the head of paediatrics here at St Thomas’. 

Paediatrics? Y/N thought to herself. Oh those poor children being unwell and having to be treated by the biggest asshole on earth. She wondered whether he was just as awful to the patients or whether he had perfected his bedside manner. Probably the latter, he seemed like a perfectionist. Her daydream was interrupted as an older man and woman entered the room, dressed in similar scrubs to Dr Styles. 

“Now, normally I handle all the interns myself, but since there are five of you, and my workload has grown rather heavily over the last year, I have enlisted my colleagues for some help. Dr Hannah Williams and Dr Richard Abrams.” Dr Styles explained, introducing them both. They waved and Dr Williams sent Y/N a smile and Y/N crossed her fingers and toes, hoping that she would be assigned to the nice woman with the warm smile. 

“Max and Amelie you’re with Dr Abrams. Rachel and Luke, you’re with Dr Williams. And that leaves… ”

Y/N’s heart sank.

“Y/N, you’re with me. Lucky you.” He smirked at her obvious lack of enthusiasm before continuing. 

“I’m sure you’re all aware that this is a 6 week internship. While I may not be directly supervising all of you, I will be observing you all closely. At the end of your period at St Thomas’ one of you will be offered a permanent position here. My advice? Do you best, and use what you know. You were all offered this internship for a reason, you’ve got the next six weeks to prove to me why you deserve to be here. Y/N come with me. Max and Amelie, Richard will show you where to go. Same for you Luke and Rachel, Hannah has you guys covered.” 

Y/N gathered her things quickly as Dr Styles left the room swiftly. She trailed behind him, mustering up the courage to speak. 

“Is there a reason you were so horrible to me in there?” The words left Y/N’s mouth before she could stop them and Dr Styles stopped walking abruptly in the middle of the corridor, almost causing her to face plant into his back. 

“Oh grow up Y/N. Welcome to the real world. I don’t have energy to waste on people who aren’t punctual. If this is too much for you to handle, or If I’m too much for you to handle, quit. No one is stopping you.”

He waited expectantly, but Y/N was silent.

“Good. Now if you’re done with your little outburst, we have patients to see. Try not to waste my time Y/N. Most people don’t dare to talk back to me, especially on the first day. I picked you because you intrigued me and I thought I saw potential. Don’t prove me wrong.” 

Y/N nodded, her thoughts going a million miles a minute. Dr Styles led her into a closed corridor, where the walls were filled with colour, shapes and animals.

“The first patient we’re going to see today is a 5 year old named Jackson. Jackson has stage 3 terminal cancer. At this stage it’s all about keeping him comfortable. He’s wary of new people, so just be gentle.”

He opened a door, and it was almost like someone had flipped a switch. The second the door had opened, Dr Styles’ face had switched from a stern expression to a wide smile. He was so pretty when he smiled, Y/N thought, before shaking it from her head and following him into the room. 

“Hey little superman! How are we feeling today?” Dr Styles asked the young boy, who was lying in the bed watching a dinosaur cartoon on his iPad. Y/N’s heart broke at the number of wires and medical equipment surrounding the little boy. 

“I’m bored. Can I go play outside?? Please Harry pleaseeeee.” Jackson pouted his lips at Dr Styles and Y/N suppressed a giggle. She watched him as a flicker of emotion crossed his face before he shook his head.

“Sorry not today little dude, but how about I try and get Nurse Rebecca to bring you something special later on?”

“Ok.” Jackson’s face fell as he directed his attention back to the screen. Y/N shifted slightly to the side and he looked up, making eye contact with her.

“Who’s that? Is she your girlfriend Harry? She’s very pretty.”

Y/N turned bright red and Dr Styles seemed to choke on air before spluttering out a response. 

“Not my girlfriend Jackson. This is Y/N, I’m showing her what it’s like to work here.”

“Hi Jackson, it’s nice to meet you!” Y/N sent the boy a small wave and he waved back. 

“We’ll come and visit you again later buddy ok?” Dr Styles ushered Y/N slowly out of the room, shutting the door behind her. 

They stood in silence for a moment, Dr Styles watching Jackson through the small window, a pensive expression on his face. 

“He’s a really sweet kid.” Y/N spoke softly. 

“He is.” Dr Styles agreed gruffly, and Y/N watched as his eyes began to mist. But as quickly as the tears had formed, they were gone and he was blinking them away and continuing down the hallway. 

“Hurry up Y/N we have people to see and you know how I feel about punctuality.” 

Y/N smiled softly, trailing after him. There was something there, more to Dr Styles than he was letting her see and Y/N was determined to figure him out.

A/N: Hello!! This was a super short random thing that I might continue hehe

Tags:

@lukesaprince @harrys-flower @harryspirate @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @lilyrmason12 @styleslover-1994 @stylesfever @kathb59 @indierockgirrl @bxbyysstuff @gills-lounge

[bucknastysbabe]

You can be my daddy tonight - L. Bodecker

If you’re seeking heaven then you’ll want to come and get it.

Rating: Explicit

Tags: DADDY AND BREEDING KINK OUT THE WAHOO, age gap, size kink, crying during sex, Frottage, pnv!sex, The Great Outdoors, she’s a brat he’s a Man what happens next, infidelity, they’re kinda both assholes, soft and fluffy Lee literally and figuratively, smut-tacular, totally glossed over Lee’s 400 red glaring flags

A/N: It’s about time I did something for my big country boy. No Pepsi cups sorryyyy

Everyone knew the Sheriff used to drink like a fish. Everyone knew the Sheriff had a wife that hadn’t popped out a baby yet. Everyone knew the Sheriff played with bad men and dirty money. Your Pa, the county judge, told you to stay far away from the Sheriff. In fact, you planned on doing the opposite.

‘Vote for Bodecker,’ read the pin. You picked it up and thumbed across the lettering, thinking. You had a senior internship with the little paper in Meade. Although more interesting things tended to come out of Knockemstiff. You were fascinated by the surly law man, he was cute. Sure, a little pudgy and a lot older but he had killer eyes and the prettiest smile. You’d be lying if he wasn’t your sexual awakening.

Your boss rolled his eyes and said, “Sure, write a puff piece on the asshole, but he’s gonna make sure you write what he wants.” You cocked your head against the door with snicker, “Not even a little feminine wiles will sway em’?”

Henry pushed his glasses up a crooked nose and blew smoke at you, “If the man has to pay people to be quiet about his sister selling ass out the Tecumseh, whatcha think your lil’ pink tweed skirt is gonna do? He’s all about reputation.” You opened your mouth in faux shock and retorted, “I’ll show you what a pink tweed skirt can do. I’ll have an interview by tomorrow!”

“Whatever you say! Get on home. Night darlin’.”

“Night Mister Henry,” you chirped.

Maybe Henry had a point. You’d called the station four times today. The receptionist would answer, you’d state your intentions, she’d say, “Sheriff Bodecker is not in the station, try again later.”

On the fifth try the receptionist sniffed, “Look girlie, he’s busy. I’d suggest giving it twenty-four hours.”

You put on a smile as you gritted out, “Thanks, girlie!”

Slamming the phone against the wall you watched your dog jump up and stare at you. Turning on your heel you made it up to your room, filtering through your dresses. You’d wear the light pink shift dress, like the one Twiggy had in the magazines. You pulled on some stockings and thick black heels to match your collar.

Eyes made up big and shiny you eyed the clock. He’s probably in his little office, yelling for the clerk to shut the damn phone off like he was important or something. You drove to the depot, slinging rocks as you pulled into a parking spot. You didn’t want to ‘pull my pa is the judge card’ but push might come to shove.

You checked your meticulous hair and makeup in the car mirror, popping a smile. You sprayed a bit of perfume and grabbed your smokes. Staring back in the mirror you chided yourself, “You gettin’ nervous? No ma’am. C’mon.” Pinching your thigh a couple of times you hopped out your light blue Mercury.

You stalked into the depot, resting your hands on the receptionist’s desk. The lady seemed shocked, gasping, “Lord have mercy! I told you the man was busy!”

You waved your hands, “It sure don’t look busy round here!”

You lit up a cigarette in annoyance, listening to her nasally admonishment. A gruff tone came from behind your right shoulder. “I have been busy all day filling out reports, but I guess some people got no patience.” You exhaled and ashed into nearby tray, glancing over your shoulder at the Sheriff. Turning and holding out a manicured hand you offered your name and a polite, “I’m here on behalf of the Meade Daily News to request an interview.”

His big hand engulfed yours, blue eyes flicking down your body before returning up. He hummed deeply before laughing, “You’re the judges girl aint’cha? Like father like daughter.” You pouted and asked, “Can I ask a couple questions or do I need to go to your opponent?”

He didn’t like that, jaw clamping down and twitching. Bodecker ran a hand through his short hair, other hand on a soft hip. He grumbled, “Naw, we don’t need that. Cmon into my office. Damn fire-ant.”

You perched yourself on the couch across the small room. It smelled of cigars and candied something. He had quit drinking so you guessed sugar was filling the void. And his shirts, you thought as he grunted while sitting down, belly straining his white button down.

Leaning back he lit up a cig and leveled you with an annoyed look, chubby cheeks bunching as he puffed on the tobacco. You went straight to the point.

“Are you aware of the accusations against you being made? About hush money and your sister’s doings.”

His eyes narrowed, fingertips digging into the wood of his desk. Bodecker suddenly smiled and said, “My poor sister was being used by her husband. She’s receiving treatment upstate Ohio. Truly a shame, but I can’t allow that to happen in our county. No hush money involved, it can be blow to the ego but she was sick.”

“Mhm. That is sad. Do you consider yourself a family man?”

He was getting more irritated by the second. You grinned, knowing you had the upper hand. Untouchable was written up and down your body, lest he get on bad with the magistrate and Mayor. Lee took a deep breath and sighed, “I’ve been wanting to have a family since my daddy upped and walked out on us. My wife has been…ill…so it’s been a slow process. We’re thinking about maybe adopting.”

You opened your mouth but Bodecker barked, “Nuh-uh. I pick this question and ya’ pretty lil’ self is gonna write it all down, ‘kay?” Feeling your cheeks heat up you nodded. It was only fair to write down some bullshit on behalf of Bodecker. So you did, unwillingly and oft with dramatic sighs.

You frowned at the Sheriff’s smug expression as he leaned back in that office chair, creaking in the quiet room. You stretched out yourself, the hem of your dress climbing higher and higher. He cleared his throat, blues locked on you. You kept your legs together and hummed, “Off the record question Sheriff— if you answer I’ll give ya’ a peak.”

He grunted softly, “Whassit’ sweetheart?”

Rubbing your thighs together tantalizingly had him begging like a dog for a bone with his eyes. You rolled your hips and asked, “So you gonna adopt some babies? You don’t go home and fill your wife’s pussy up every night? She’s mighty pretty but y’aint gettin’ any younger Sheriff.”

He groaned and palmed his swelling prick, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“What? Looks like y’got no problem getting it up?”

Lee Bodecker stood up, braced over his desk, and growled, “She’s a lockbox. Thinkin’ I’m fucking lil’ girls like you.” You dropped one of your legs to the floor, exposing your naked slit, cooing, “Really now?” He stepped closer, breathing hard. You could see the war in his mind but he couldn’t control the licking of his lips.

You knew what the man was imagining.

He stood still, hands on his hips as almost if he was stuck. You lounged idly, curls falling out of place. You slid your hand down your body, so, so, so slowly. Lee made a soft noise when you swiped your fingers through slippery slick. “She don’t get all wet for you like this Sheriff? Don’t take much for me.”

You rubbed a bit faster, breathily moaning, “I remember when you was just a deputy, hah, I was thirteen. Such an ugly duckling then. F-fuck but you were so handsome helping me when those boys were being mean.”

Lee had drawn closer, kneeling at the end of the couch, a hand near your calf, barely grazing it. His orbs were dark with arousal. The man desperately goaded, “C’mon- finish the story, c’mon.”

You arched your back, spreading yourself wider for him, circling your clit. “W-well, ya’ helped me out and you were just out the national guard, all young and trim- don’t matter shit! So when I went home I rode my pillow thinkin’ it was you.” You finished your dirty little story with a cry, shivering in pleasure. Lee looked wrecked, hand tightly wound around your ankle now, rubbing his ringed finger over his face.

You slid upward, batting his hand off. Lee gruffed, “Yer’ gonna give me a heart attack sweets— ya’ can’t stay much longer.” Close enough to smell his aftershave you pressed close, tucking yourself into a soft jawline, pressing some kisses.

You grabbed his big left hand and eyed the gold band. Playing with it the question rolled out, “When’s the last time you got a blow job Sheriff?” He gulped down a moan, shaking his head. You lapped at his thick ring finger, swallowing the digit down. He gasped and jerked at the sensation, eyes wide. You ever so gently eased his wedding ring off a slight hassle as his fingers weren’t so slim since the bells rang.

You pulled it out of your mouth and placed it on the side table, staring up at the bigger man, still kneeled outside the couch. Lee’s internal war seemed to be made up, he had a look in his eye now, jaw twitching. He stood up, cock flushed and thick against those tight slacks.

His big hand held your cheek, thumb stroking your cheek. You whimpered softly when he brushed the bottom lip. The sheriff murmured, “Can you be a good girl and follow along?” You nodded and suckled on his calloused thumb, watching eyes roll back.

He managed in a low rumble, “You’re gonna straighten up and walk your pretty tail to your car. Then head to the Seven-Eleven where the truckers park,” he bent down and nipped your earlobe, “Then I’m gonna come by and we’ll have a real interview— up close and personal.”

“Yessir,” you poorly whined. You shifted your thighs together to hold back the neediness still arising. You stood up on shaky legs, smoothing down your dress, wiping any stray makeup, putting your headband back on. Before you walked out the door he pressed his big body into yours, lips crawling up your neck.

“Haven’t had a blowjob in years. But I can’t resist any sweets.” He smacked your ass and you stumbled out the door, pen and paper in hand. The receptionist and a cop standing by her stared oddly but you chirped, “Have a wonderful night!” There was a skip in your step to the Mercury, you driving like a bat outta hell to the quickie store.

Then the waiting begun.

You contemplated rubbing your clit outta boredom and sheer need but went over your notes instead. Deep in thought, a knock at the window shocked you, sending the pen flying. The sheriff was clad in a leather jacket now, grinning like a maniac down at you. You tentatively opened the car door and asked, “Where we headed Sheriff?”

You were both parked behind a stationary truck. He had his hat on, brim low, arm slung around your waist. He hummed, “Not sure yet. Somewhere quiet. Probably one o’ those old lover’s lanes when I was young.” You stifled a laugh, “In a place like this it’s changed?”

He side-eyed you with a smirk, “Yep, y’know how many times I’d had to bust up little bad girls like you out past bedtime?” You rolled your eyes and stated, “Don’t got a curfew, my parents think I’m at Darlene’s.” He opened the side of the cruiser for you, getting a nice feel as you sat down.

He slipped in the driver’s side, turning on the ignition. He hummed, “This lover’s lane s’better, gotta pretty crick to run around in.” You stared in horror, “But what about bears and snakes?” He patted your thigh and cooed, “Don’t worry your pretty little head, not like I ain’t use a gun before.” His huge hand settled on your thigh, squeezing and rubbing maddeningly.

You whimpered under your breath, been on edge too long. Rolling toward a dilapidated stop sign he made a noise of faux concern, teasing, “Poor doll baby, you riled up huh? C’mere and sit a little closer.”

You practically leapt to his side, plastered to his warmth. He grinned again and held you snug into his soft midsection. Cruising at a leisurely pace he admitted without looking, “I wanna’ baby so bad. Fill the house with kids. Be better than my shitbag of a Daddy.”

You wanted that too. Real bad. Just thinking about it made you needier. He grumbled, “I don’t know if it’s me or her but ain’t nothing clicked. We been to the doctor in Cleveland, my spunk’s all fine.” He groaned in annoyance, “Why am I even telling you all this?”

You shrugged, “Obviously it’s been weighing on ya. I’d have your babies. Ones with big blue eyes and pretty teeth,” you placed a hand on his soft stomach and whispered, “You’d be a good daddy. I’ve seen ya at the town gatherings.” Bodecker sharply inhaled, hand gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

His driving sped up some, ducking down into an old trail to a holler. He didn’t respond, jaw tighter than ever. You asked, “Sheriff? Bodecker? Did I say something?” He growled, “Babygirl…nah, you said everything I wanted to hear.” He placed a gentler hand around your knee, giving a squeeze.

He put the cruiser in park, settling back with a sigh. You eyed him with wide eyes, utterly transfixed. In the moment you trembled, a bit out of your element, but the ache between your legs was throbbing and persistent. You helped him undo his tight jacket and throw it in the back. You tossed his wide brimmed hat with a little giggle.

Lee rolled his window down and you copied him. The silence was stagnant until the sounds of the evening filled in. The energy was still charged. He turned to you, blue eyes intense. The sheriff asked, “You really mean all that? About the babies and shit?” You nodded, reaching a hand out to grip his bigger one.

“You’re a goddamn angel. Shit baby- how old’re you now?” He ran a frantic hand through his dark hand, biting that damned lip again. You warbled, “M’eighteen. Been that way for a couple a’ months.” He shook his head, laughing lowly, “I’m old enough t’be ya’ daddy sweet cheeks.”

“You can be my daddy. I don’t care. I’ll put all the babies you want in that big empty house up in Brewer Heights.”

He pulled you by your thighs, his bulk keeping you wide open and pinned. Lee hissed in your ear, “Can’t say shit like that. I’m a married man, divorce not good for the election baby.” You pouted and turned away, annoyed. He grabbed your cheeks and cooed, “That don’t mean we can make some arrangements after I win and you’d be the biggest prize.”

You rolled your body against his softer one and petulantly replied, “You promise? Y’gonna be my daddy Lee?” He smiled while peppering kisses along your jaw. “Mhm. I’ll be your daddy, dress you up, take you around, fill ya’ up with my babies.”

“Good. Being on the judge’s bad side would be sticker in your heel for winning,” you said lightly.

He glared you down, fear filling your veins before Lee laughed, “Don’t I know that? Bratty lil’ girl, bout’ as slick as those gangsters at the Tecumseh.” You retorted, “You like it, I know it.” Lee sat back on his haunches, kicking open the car door behind him. You surged forward with a whimper, seizing his plump lips.

You batted his hands away to loosen his tie then unbutton his top. While unpinning his badge you hummed, “Nah. This’ll be my job when you get home after a long day.” Lee simply groaned and panted while you plucked the buttons off. You commented, “Daddy needs a bigger size.”

You ran your hands down his soft belly and hips, squeezing. They settled on his belt, pudge slightly rolling over. He scoffed, “Eatin’ too many sweets. I’ll be a Fuckin’ hog by the end of the election.” Loosening his belt with a jingle you shrugged, “Not when you’re fucking your pretty girl all the time, that’ll get some cardio in.”

Button popped and you stroked him through his underwear, earning a strangled moan. You couldn’t help but whimper, “Oh- you’re big.” He shucked off the rest of the pants along with the whites— cock rudely slapping against his tummy. You blushed and cried out when he reached behind your neck to unbutton your collar.

In a flurry of muted pink you were on your knees in the buff. Lee rumbled, “Oh little girl, fuck, pretty goddamn baby.” You whimpered, “Touch me, c’mon daddy, s’been too long. Huuurts.” He laid you down on the seat, big hands rubbing you gently, cooing, “Ain’t you just a darlin’? Daddy’s gonna take care of ya.”

His cock slotted against your oversensitive pussy, making you cry out again, hands wrapping round his broad shoulders. He leaned in from an angle, taking your lips sweetly. You shyly moaned into his mouth, rutting against him in excitement. All your dreams come true. Lee Bodecker would be yours.

He shifted in the tight compartment, hand cradling you for better access to your mouth. He kicked into your lax mouth, panting, “Been s’long, taste so sweet.” You lapped back, wet smacks filling the cruiser. His tongue playfully danced against yours, kissing rough then pulling back to smile at you.

You tried to close the gap, only for the bastard to back off further. You whined his name in annoyance, squirming. The brunette shushed you, “Hold on now, lemme love on you some.” Your eye roll turned into a real one when his lips sealed over your nipple, flicking his tongue naughtily. Billy from down the road didn’t know jack shit about this, fucking boy.

You ran your hand through his thick hair, panting and mewling softly. “Lee, oh f- Christ!” He hummed amusedly around your bud, sending you reeling again. Then switched to the other one, rough fingers twitching and pulling. He was rolling his thick cock between your folds quicker now, making you a mess of nerves and emotions.

For some reason tears pricked at your eyes as you cried his name, your belly awash with heat, orgasm taking you by surprise. Clinging to the man, you sobbed into his sweet smelling neck, shaking like a leaf. Lee groaned low and long, caught up in pleasure before he realized.

He enveloped you into a tight embrace, shushing and cooing sweet things. Lee softly spoke, “Oh honey, s’too much? Poor baby never been with a real man like her daddy. Shh now, s’okay sweet pea. Breathe for me, c’mon.” You blinked more tears into his neck, trying to stop your shuddery breathing.

He was doing a good job of holding you tight, feeling safe nestled against his soft belly and hard arms. You croaked, “S’sorry daddy, didn’t know what came over me. Didn’t even let you get to come.” He nuzzled the crown of your mussed hair. “You’re fine pretty girl, I know ya’ been keyed up for hours. Why don’t we take a dip in that crick, sure is hot out here.”

You nodded slowly, wiping your eyes while da-Lee loved up on you, big hand leading you to the babbling water. He grinned, “S’gon be cold. Better hold tight.” You managed a weak tease, “Did’ja tell that to all the girlies back in the day?”

“Maybe. Only if they was special.”

“Was your wife special?”

He remained quiet for a beat, only the sound of water rushing by. Lee shook his head and sighed, “Nah. That was a between patrol hookup and she had money. Thought it would be a good idea.”

“Fuck er’ let’s get in daddy,” you swore.

His forlorn expression brightened under the moonlight, him stepping in the water first. He whooped, “Whew it’s brisk! Good for ya, that’s what my momma used ta’ say.” You stepped in ankle deep, yelping. Lee barked out a laugh and waded further, submerged to his thighs. He sat on a flattened boulder, pulling you in.

Much shorter than Lee you cried out in shock at the coolness hitting your overheated nerves. You hopped to him and whined, “Goddamn Lee, that’s cold as hell!” He grinned and retorted, “Get up here then, up ya’ get.”

You were on top of his spread thighs, his unflagging prick between you two, pulsing. The water lapped around your feet and his shins. Lee’s tone grew darker as he asked, “You gonna let daddy stretch that pretty pussy out?” Arousal flooded your system like a ton of bricks again.

“Yessir, I ain’t a virgin but take it slow, yeah?”

“Slow as you want sugar, you’re on top after all.”

You kissed him again, pressing your forehead against his while you lifted up on quivering thighs. He steadied his cock as you descended, gasping as the thick tip began to breach your still soaked core. He hummed, “That’s it, real slow baby girl, no rush.” You slid down further, whining at the stretch, about halfway now.

You took a break to pant in his mouth, soaking up those sweet nothings. The pinch died down and you slid flush to his lap. You were full, stretched, split. You gasped and shuddered. “Lee. Daddy. Oh god daddy- you’re so big ah hell, feeling you everywhere dadddy!”

He pressed down on your lower belly, eyes blackened with lust. Lee murmured, “Mmmm- yeah sweetheart, shit, tight, I can feel me through ya’.” He looked dazed, forehead still stuck to yours as he panted. The sheriff slurred, “Oh fuck sssweetheart, s’been s-so damn long for daddy. Don’t want it to end.”

“Fuck me then, get it out, I got mine,” you pleaded while pecking his lips. Pushing the man back against the rock you laid on top of him, letting Lee plant his feet on something solid. Lee moaned long and low, fucking into you roughly with heavy slaps, something that’ll make a whore blush.

He babbled, “Yeah, baby, gonna be your daddy, fuck you all day and night until that belly is round, take care of ya’. Everyone gonna be jealous of ole’ Bodecker. We’ll build our own- fucking hell- place!”

You nodded along, your daddy’s cock rubbing spots you didn’t know existed inside your pussy. “Yeah, yeah, fuck me, love it!” He let out a weak noise, sucking in a breath. You could tell the man was close, he was whimpering almost imperceptibly, strokes growing sloppy.

“Awh fucking- baby,” he warned.

You pulled off of him and let the seed spurt against your belly and tits. Lee scrunched his cute face up, soft tummy twitching as he unloaded on you, moaning unabashedly. He blinked a couple of times, smiling at you like you’d hung the moon.

“How’d I get so damn lucky huh?”

You shrugged, cock drunk and giddy. “I just knew you’d have a nice cock and decided to hunt you down.”

He guffawed, pulling you both into the freezing ass water. You spluttered, gasping from shock. He howled again, laughing. Lee held you tightly, locking your hips around his waist. You nuzzled into his embrace, hearing his chest vibrate as he promised, “Gonna be your daddy, all mine now little girl.”

“All yours,” you promised.

A year later Sheriff Bodecker started the groundwork on his new home, right next to that creek where it all started. He stood behind you, rubbing your slightly rounded belly. Lee hummed, “See, what I tell you Mrs. Bodecker?”

“Everything you said, Mr. Bodecker,” you winked,

“Daddy.”

[fountainofrubies]

The out of control Suneater / Tamaki Amajiki x Fem reader 18+

tags/warnings: Explicit sexual content, orgasms, quirks, tentacles, constriction, pain, genital descriptions, She/Her

🍋 Tamaki has missed you so much that he can’t wait to play with you. You try your quirk on him for the first time, not knowing your own strength. You turn him loose with extreme amounts of arousal thanks to your gaseous quirk. The shy and quiet Tamaki that you know seems to take a backseat. Unable to control himself, he becomes aggressive with you.

————-

Weeks later from the 7 minutes of Heaven game that you two shared, there have been quite a few steamy make out sessions and a good bit of play between you and Tamaki. Every chance he gets to be with you, he’s there, although he is usually uptight and rather nervous. It’s been almost a week since he had been able to be with you intimately though. You missed him a lot during your trip, but you’re glad to be back.

While on Patrol today, Tamaki stood frozen after seeing your approach. We lost some of the progress with Tamaki’s comfortability in you two’s relationship that was gained before your trip. That, coupled with the fact that your appearance was not planned, had Tamaki tense and stressed when he saw you coming. Quickly jumbling in order to come up with something to say, he exhaled in relief when you started talking to him first.

“Tamaki! It’s great to see you! I know that I didn’t tell you that I’d be back today, I wanted it to be a surprise!” you say cheerfully as you hug him.

“It’s good to see you too.. and it worked, it’s definitely a nice surprise.” He mumbles and his smile is a little wobbly, but he really means it. He’s thought about you nonstop while you were away. “Since I’ve got the green light to go home, would you like to come?” He asks, holding his hand out for you to take. So you do.

“I’d love to!” You smile warmly. You pull a candy out of your pocket, unwrapping it. It’s his favorite. He opens up as you reach towards him to put it in his mouth, making him blush as you touch his bottom lip with your thumb. It makes him laugh softly as he starts to chew it.

As you walk, you come to an area that is usually free of people and traffic as you get further away from the bustle of the city. It looks quiet, as expected. As you two keep walking, you pull Tamaki with you when you get to the specific area that you had in mind. You go down the long alley way, and turn down another stretch, pushing him up against the wall softly, you gently kiss him while rubbing his shoulders, eventually reaching his elbows with your fingertips. He wraps his arms around you as he kisses you needily.

His voice low and shaky, but full of needy passion, he tells you, “I’ve missed this so much.” His moans come softly as you kiss his neck. As you pull away, his breathing calms. “How was your trip?”

You reply, “It was great! I learned so much about my quirk and it’s even stronger now! The teach asked me to hit him with it at half speed and it gave him so much nausea that he was useless. Before I went, it would take me giving it my all to affect someone like that!”

Tamaki praises you, “Great job! You really took training seriously then! I’m curious as to what all you could do to a person.”

You blush when he says this because you have been thinking about wanting to try something in particular on him. He notices, raising one of his eyebrows in a questioning way. Feeling pressed to explain, you admit “I’m sorry if I’m acting weird! I have been fantasizing about trying certain things on you.. and I guess that was the first thing that came to mind for me when you said that.”

He started to fiddle with his fingers as he responded. “Well.. what did you have in mind?”

You ask him outright, “Tamaki.. can I try my quirk on you? There’s an aspect of it that I want to test.. but I haven’t really had anyone I could test.. this type of thing on..”

Knowing that your quirk is like a gaseous excretion and that you affect people, and animals in various ways according to your will, he asks you, “This thing you want to try.. it’s naughty isn’t it?” He waits for your answer bashfully.

You smile “Yes.. yes it is.”

He fiddles more with his fingers. “Well.. I’m willing.. I mean, you have full control right? Like if something went wrong?”

You nod, your eyes shining. “I can nullify the effects.. or change what you’re experiencing. Sure.”

“Okay then..” He definitely looks nervous as he watches you curiously. His eyes widen and he looks away quickly after he sees you reach under your skirt and pull your panties down, taking them off.

You lean forward, kissing Tamaki gently. At first his lips are tight and tense. With some effort, his lips soften and cooperate with yours. You inhale slowly, taking a deep breath in and then you dose him with a very large hit of your quirk, giving him everything you’ve got.

After a breath or two, he begins to fill with an intense heavy desire that aggressively overtakes his body. His muscles begin to tense up, as he steps backwards, his heart pounding. His eyes are very wide as he slowly looks over at you, roughly flooding with intense need as he stands up straight, rigid, locked into position. He’s trembling, locked into this position, gritting his teeth. He moans through his gritted teeth, furrowing his brow as he continues to desperately battle for self control. His erection feels massive, throbbing like never before and it is the most blindingly intense, gripping erection that he has ever felt in his life. Seconds pass as he continues to tremble, his breathing quickening. He’s looking at you with an extremely desperate amount of need. As you come closer to him, his eyes follow you, locked onto yours. It takes quite a bit of effort, but he manages to get a sentence out. His entire being feels like it is about to erupt and his voice sounds like it is falling apart at the seams. “I don’t want to hurt you…” he says in a panicked and shaky voice. His entire body is flexing as he holds fast, making him groan as uncontrollable urges come to him in waves, drowning his attempts to control himself. His breaths become very strained and deeply desperate as his body begins to quake.

As impressive as his ability to control himself thus far truly is, you quickly deliver a message to him that you hope will free him from the raging battle he is fighting within himself to forcibly control his body. “If anything goes wrong or gets too dangerous, I’ll use my quirk to control the situation, I promise…” You continue, “Tamaki, let go.” Reaching down, you firmly squeeze his cock throw his tunic, letting go immediately after. With a huge gasp, Tamaki’s moves come reflexively and automatically, the intensity dizzying. In the split second that it takes for all 5 of the thick tentacles that are zooming towards you to wrap around you, coiling up all around your entire being, encasing you, a loud sound rips out of Tamaki’s throat. He’s half screaming, half growling as he whips you into the wall behind you. The tentacles take the impact as they protect your body from any damage. The sudden impact does surprise you though, making you gasp as more adrenaline releases into your body. Not even a second passes since your gasp of dark surprise before Tamaki is already on you clutching your arm as he peers at you looking extremely hot and bothered. You’re at his eye level, being held inches above the ground. No time is wasted as tentacles shoot from his other hand, grabbing his clothes, pulling his tunic to the side, twisting it up and securing it so that it will be tucked out of the way. Other tentacles grab ahold of the lower half of his body suit and rip it apart, revealing his skin and his large, throbbing cock. It looks even bigger right now, and it was already big to start with.

As his tentacles shrink back into his free hand, he pulls the slick liquid seeping out of the head of his cock down its length, all the way to the base. Moaning, he repeats the actions rapidly, which coats his cock in the largest amount of precum that he has ever produced at one time ever before. Immediately, he penetrates you. While he is grabbing your shoulder, the first two thrusts are moderately paced but strong, making you bounce as his body makes contact with you. After that, he moves quickly, grabbing your waist with his free hand as he starts fucking you as fast as he can. Whimpering in between his choked, desperate moans, he reaches towards you, unable to think about anything but the pleasure. He grabs the back of your neck with his free hand, pulling himself close to your ear, growling as he holds you roughly, “OH!~ AH! You feel so fucking good!” His voice is aggressive, despite the loud moans, sending a chill down your spine. His pace has become punishing. His moans are spilling out rapidly, turning you on more and more as he rails you.

As for you, you only seem to get wetter and wetter. Your cheeks are becoming red. You gasp for air. Tamaki looks down at your body as he continues to thrust into you roughly, and although it takes him a few seconds to process it, he notices that he is constricting you far too tightly with his tentacles. The parts of your skin that are visible are all glowing varying shades of red. You’re aware that you’re being squeezed tightly, but you’re so caught up in how Tamaki feels inside of you that you ignored the uncomfortable pressure. You’re still gasping though, and Tamaki starts fighting for control of his body again. His thrusts are still coming as he tries to let go of you with his tentacles, but he’s having issues. He feels a fresh wave of panic as he realizes how little control he really has over himself now. He screams out, as he tenses his body with everything he’s got, trying to force control. He goes rigid, his open hand hits the wall beside you just above your shoulder as he tries to lock himself into a steel stance. Unable to stretch his arm all the way out so he can wrench himself away from you, he thrusts into you again greedily, even more quickly, grunting and moaning loudly. He continues to try to pull out of you but it’s just not working for him. He thrusts into you once more and pressed up against you with force, hoping that going forward and freezing would work better than trying to push himself backwards or pulling out, and for a second it does.

As he’s pushed all the way inside of you, his nose is inches away from yours, his breath spilling all over your face in bursts. He looks like a wreck, mouth agape watching you as he fights himself, his body screaming at him. His stance doesn’t budge an inch but you do feel the tentacles around you trembling as he works as hard as he can to loosen his grip on you. But then, suddenly, you feel a crazily dizzying sensation that makes you choke out a heavy, wet, sob of a moan, followed by many more of them. There’s rapid movement happening inside you as his quirk manifests, it feels like your insides are spinning. Tamaki groans as his member contorts, spinning wildly as you're drilled by some sort of tentacly, phallic concoction. There’s no way to know exactly what is happening in there, but you feel extremely full up as whatever it is that keeps thrusting forward wildly, writhes inside of you, only to feel like it retreats back into the original shape of Tamaki’s cock for just a second before it repeats again and again. You choke out another sob as Tamaki looks at you, eyes wide with shock and panic, his breath desperately wild. “Please..”, he pleads, his voice shaking, “Help me.”

Just as soon as those words left his mouth, you sprung into action, blowing a strong, cool stream of air into his face to hit him with enough force to affect him quickly as he gasps and moans. The dose takes effect very quickly as the tentacles wrapped around begin to turn you loose, his tense body slightly hunches toward you as it relaxes. He grabs you with his free hand, holding your shoulder so that you’ll meet the ground without stumbling as you slip out of his hold, all of the tentacles retracting.

Regardless of the dose of calm you just hit him with, he still looks scared as he blurts out the words, “I’m so sorry..” He has a heartbreakingly hurt look on his face that cuts you to the core. “Are you hurt?” He looks distraught.

You shake your head no as you nearly tear up. You respond to him, “No Tamaki, I’m sorry.. That was so selfish of me.. You felt so good that I just let you go at it. I was so lost in how amazing you felt that all I could think about was your every move.. I wasn’t even thinking about how you must have felt..” Now the tears are coming, you feel them freshly rolling down each of your cheeks. “I used my quirk so carelessly.” Your face is so hot as you whimper, “I care for you deeply, Tamaki.. how could I do that to you?” Your lip trembles.

Tamaki strokes your cheek. “Heyyy,” he says, suddenly soft with you, on a mission to comfort you, focusing hard on succeeding at it. “It’s okay, it was an accident right? I just didn’t want to hurt you.. I was terrified that I was going to.. It’s okay.” He wipes your tears away and then holds your cheeks. “I’m okay.. I just panicked when I failed to gain control. I was squeezing you so hard…. I.. I was scared to death that you might pass out or something and that I wouldn’t be able to stop to even help you.. I don’t know, I’m just sorry..”

You sniffle as you let out a sigh. “I’m sorry.. I thought I’d ruined everything.. I thought for sure that you’d want nothing to do with me now after I did that with my stupid quirk. I feel so embarrassed.”

He leans down and kisses your lips, romantically even, as his tongue enters your mouth delicately and then retreats back into his. “Your quirk is amazing. It’s a part of you, it makes you who you are. It’s so powerful and it felt amazing. I just need to have a bit more control, bunny. Hit me with it again, just not full force. I’ll let you know if I want a little more or less as needed. Can you do that?”

You nod, hopeful that the experience will end on a much better note. You reach up and kiss him again, giving him a smaller dose than you did last time.

His eyes roll back for a split second and he looks at you again. “I want you so bad.. So bad.. As if I didn’t already want you enough..”

“What?” you ask, understanding what was said, but craving more information on the subject.

Feeling dizzy with desire, Tamaki isn’t even thinking about his nerves at this moment. He’s breathing slow but deeply, hissing as he inhales here and there, curling his lip a bit as it happens. Now he’s moving slowly to your side as he reaches forward and kisses your neck. He falls into the moment, no longer caring that you'll know the things he’s about to tell you. His hot breath bathes your neck as he whispers to you, “I’ve been thinking about being inside of you ever since you left. When I see you regularly, I have to make myself come multiple times before I even come out to meet you. It’s the only way I can get my body to be less obvious when I stand near you.”

You swallow, your throat is tight and you feel a little dizzy yourself. “Tamaki? Is that true.”

He nods slowly, up close in your face. His gaze and his movement are both slow and sensual. He licks your parted lips, running his tongue softly across them. “Give me some more.” he says lowly, making your heart beat fast. You blow at him, just a bit, stoking his fire.

He opens his mouth as he places his bottom lip in between your lips, breathing openly as he pauses. As you suck on his lip gently, he moans, the hot air heating up your face. Your hot, wet center is aching for him. You’re starting to tremble yourself, his sex appeal feels so dense and heavy. He moans again, bringing his lips together, initiating a sloppy kiss. He sticks his tongue in your mouth. “How about just a bit more? I think I’m close.”

You shoot a just a bit of air into his slightly opened mouth and he takes in a deep breath, closing his eyes and pausing. “Let’s leave it here.. like this.” He groans as he touches your lips with his thumb. “I want you. Are you gonna let me have some more of you now?” His voice is soft but it’s also sexy as hell. “Yeah? Can I fuck you now?” He strokes his cock a couple of times, moaning.

You are a puddle. Putty in his hands. You whine as you moan your “Yes” to him. His cock is long, thick and throbbing. Breathing heavily, he grunts as he pulls his tunic back up, tucking it back in how he had it before. He picks you up, grabbing your leg and placing it on the side of his hip so you will lock them around him.

You’re ready to beg yourself. “And your tentacles? Will you hold me again?”

He blushes a bit as he smiles, his tentacles obedient and gentle, wrap around you, becoming tighter as he lifts you very slightly to hold you in place. He enters into you again, moaning shakily, pushing into you slowly, throbbing repeatedly. After a few soft strokes, he begins to speed up. His heart is racing. He’s full of heat, his hips greedily returning to you every time he pulls away. His grunts, moans and whines are coming constantly now, in a very random order.

You ask him as you whimper, groaning as he thrusts into you. “The last thing you were doing to me.. can you try it? I was very close at the end there..”

He thrusts in a few more times and starts to engage with his quirk similarly to how it felt like it was moving before, starting slowly, not having used it this way ever before. It feels amazing as he repeats the movements, now moving in a consistent pattern. Not even one whole minute later, you feel pressure growing as he continues, moving a bit stronger as time continues. Now you are moaning repeatedly, sounding off alongside him. He grunts and whines with just about every stroke now. You tense up and curl towards him in every way that you can, he begins to shuffle the movements even more firmly and faster. An orgasm ripples through you, as you tremble while he presses his whole body up against you. The sight, the sensations, the sounds you’re making, you bucking as you squeeze his cock repeatedly, all of it only pushes him that much closer to the edge. He returns back to the way he was fucking you before, his cock pulsing as he grinds into you with intensity and deep need. He begins moving a lot faster, and the sounds he is making start spilling out at a pace that matches his speed. “Im about to come. I’m gonna come..” he informs you urgently as his movements start coming in sloppier and sloppier, his grip tighter as he rapidly slaps into you. He wraps his arms around you, still using the tentacles with one hand, grasping you tightly with the other as he plunges into you choppily, moaning loudly, riding out his extremely pleasurable orgasm. He holds you until his breathing begins to settle and he puts you down afterwards. He begins to fix his clothes, sighing at how he ripped his bodysuit earlier in order to shove his cock into you. He fixes his tunic so that the large hole is covered, laughing as he meets your eye. He holds out his hand towards you. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

You take his hand and ask him, “Will you sleep with me tonight?”

He puts his arm around your shoulder as you walk and he kisses you on the side of your head. “Yes. I’d love to.”

[emira-addams]

Hazbin Hotel - Carmilla x Rosie - The Devil is a Part-Timer - Headcanon

Carmilla gets trapped on Earth with her daughters and Rosie and Velvette, and they need to pretend to be family so as not to attract any attention among the humans as them being demons until they can return to Hell...

The last thing Carmilla could remember was her arguing with Velvette and Rosie knocking on the door

The Overlord-Meeting had just been over, an exhausting meeting and the main topic had been that weird hotel of Lucifer's disillusioned daughter and the probability of the end of the annual exterminations as a result of Adam's death

With the help of her daughters, Carmilla had been packing up her things, Velvette still sitting in her seat with her feet on the table, engaged in a very heated discussion with Carmilla while she tried to get home as soon as possible

Velvette was convinced that they had to fight back and bring down Heaven now while they still had the chance

Suddenly there had been a knock on the door and Rosie was standing in front of her

When Carmilla opened her eyes, she was lying on her back, damp green grass beneath her and the silhouettes of trees and shadows of skyscrapers above her, the red horizon of Hell had been replaced by a dark blue sky, planes and helicopters imitating shooting stars

The noise of the city was terrible, the volume unbearable, shrill sirens and car horns, she had to cover her ears and when she sat up, she realized that she was sitting on the ground in the middle of a park in a big city

Carmilla was not alone

Less than a meter away from their mother, her daughters lay unconscious in the grass, Rosie found herself on her side under a tree and a good distance away, in the mud on the edge of a small lake, they saw Velvette

"W-What happened?" Slowly Rosie came awake, shaking, her balance faltering, and Carmilla needed to help to her feet before the worried mother could go and check on her daughters

"Where are we?" Rosie also seemed completely overwhelmed by the volume, the bright lights and the sheer size of the city; she and Carmilla had never experienced such centralization and automation in their lifetimes

"We're on Earth..." Velvette tried desperately to rub the mud from her clothes, more concerned about her appearance than the fact that they had somehow escaped Hell and were now trapped on Earth

"Why are we on Earth? We have to go back to Hell!"

"What do we do now?" Velvette asks in confusion as they leave the park and stop in front of a large shop window, all of their images appearing strangely human in the reflection

"We'll blend in," Carmilla concludes. "We look like humans, so we act like humans..."

She has a plan and explains to the group that they need to be as inconspicuous as possible, they need to blend into the everyday life of a normal person as much as possible, they shouldn't attract any attention until they have found a way back to Hell and their first step in implementing their plan is to find a place to stay and food to eat

At the city library, Odette forges the right faked documents for them on a computer while the rest of the group searches for ads for cheap housing in newspapers spread everywhere

Odette chooses the obviously simplest option and makes their group into a family that has just moved here from abroad, Carmilla and Rosie playing married parents and Clara, Odette and Velvette becoming sisters on paper

"I'd also need your name for the records, Miss..." requested their landlady.

"Rosie!"

"Your full name with your surname, please, Miss..." replied their landlady, shaking her head.

"Oh... Please excuse me, my full name is Rosie Carmine! We're married!" Rosie pointed to Carmilla with a proud grin, while Carmilla quickly averted her eyes, desperately trying to hide the blush that was now creeping inevitably into her cheeks. Although Odette had already warned her mother that Rosie would be playing her wife, saying it out loud was another matter that inevitably made Carmilla's heart skip a beat. How was she supposed to get used to sleeping in the same bed with Rosie any time soon?

"You really do have three wonderful daughters!" their landlady enthused as she showed them their tiny apartment, which was a one-bedroom unit with an open kitchen and an adjoining bathroom with a shower.

"Don't get the wrong impression, I'm just adopted!" Velvette interjected.

"We still love her just as much as our other two daughters..." Carmilla pressed through gritted teeth as she pulled Velvette into a halfhearted hug. "Play along..." she hissed lowly as Velvette struggled unsuccessfully in her arms.

Carmilla gets a job at a fast food restaurant to make the money for rent and food. In addition, she enrolls her daughters and Velvette in school to maintain their cover. Rosie stays home most of the time, taking care of the household and her family, while she spends her free time researching on the internet and in the surrounding museums and libraries to find out more about their situation and a possible way to get back to Hell.

Velvette is very less than thrilled that she has to live under the same roof as Carmilla, play their daughter and go back to school.

Even though their cover is indeed very convincing, their every move is watched by agents in black suits and black SUV's, which park in the street and near their apartment more and more frequently as the plot progresses. Carmilla is followed on her way to work, Rosie can't go to the supermarket alone once without agents following her through the aisles and Clara, Odette and Velvette are being tailed at school. Who are these people and what do they want from them? Are they well aware that they are from Hell?

I'm still working on this idea, it's in my WIP's and I'd love to write a full fic about it soon. It's more or less a slow burn Blooming Gun fic playing on Earth, with a lot of pure domestic bliss and fluff and some action (involving some secret demon hunting agents from the government), and Carmilla and Rosie secretly crushing on each other.

Carmilla thinks that Rosie is merely playing her role as her wife very convincingly and doesn't dare to explore her feelings much further, while Rosie desperately tries to give Carmilla the hint without actually having to say the words.

Clara and Odette have long since accepted Rosie as their other parent and are enjoying their second chance to live a semi-normal life outside of Hell with their mothers, more or less accepting Velvette as their sister.

After some time, several conflicts and some heartfelt conversations, Carmilla actually adopts Velvette as her daughter. The turning point in their relationship is a situation at school in which Carmilla takes Velvette's side as her mother and defends her as her daughter.

What do you think of this idea for a fic so far?

Do you have any suggestions or any wishes for scenes or content that I definitely need to include?

Masterpost:

Chapter 01:

[sseniita]

god tier seduction

(cw suggestive?? not really)

His eyes darkened under his long black lashes.

"Stop that."

The villain loomed far taller than she did. He was long, slender and sharp around the edges. A perfect shadow. She was softer, shorter, her long wavy hair puffing around the frame of her face acting like curtains- shielding her. He raised an eyebrow, eyes bored but calculating.

"Stop what?" His voice barely above a whisper.

"That. That villain stare you do. Save that for the others, will you?"

"Are you suggesting you get special treatment from me?"

"I'm suggesting that you cut that out." she pressed further.

The villain chuckled, pacing towards the hero, kicking his legs lazily with every step. Finally two or three feet away from the hero. Hero stood straight and unrelenting under the villain's eyes, smooth as glass.

"You do, you know." He said matter-of-factly. "I'd never treat a Hero as luxuriously as I treat you." His gaze lingered a bit too long on the Hero's figure, sizing her up like she were prey. He tilted his head- the hero's que to respond something witty but nothing only curiosity came out.

"Why?" Her question seemed to please the villain.

"Darling! Look at yourself, I mean besides that, what is there to even dislike. Your unwavering..." He paused to find the right word. "Humanity. Courage, grace, optimism, intelligence. My love, I could go on."

He sneaked closer and when he softly grabbed the hero's face in his hands, she let him. "You're perfect. In every sense of the word, dear."

That wasn't new. Hero was perfect. She was thin where it looked best, and softer too. Blonde hair, blue eyes, sun kissed skin. Her tight pink spandex suit hugs all the right places, not too flashy but definitely recognizable. Her voice was like honey most of the time, often compared to her own nemesis'. She's heard it all before- the epitome of 'beauty' as some would call it. Although she'd prefer the villain arched nose, tanned skin and brown eyes.

In fact she was called perfect in the same way the villain was called cunning, genius, handsome, and compelling. Maybe that's why her cheeks flushed red and her pupils dilated. Maybe that's why he let her play with her hair as he continued whispering sweet nothings to her. Maybe it was because this was no longer the masses praising a god; but rather a god praising it's own mirror image.

The villain's hand found it's way to a scar hidden in her golden curls behind her ear. Barely 4 centimeters in length, a thin thread of raised, white skin where hair didn't grow anymore. No one knew it was there. No one except Villain.

He moved his index finger smoothly up and down the scar, almost caringly.

"I love that this is our secret." He whispered in her ear, causing her to shiver. His lips slowly inched closer until they were on her scar, they stayed there, biting and kissing, making the hero sigh with pleasure, solely supporting her head in the villain's hands.

It all finally clicked for the hero as she silently chuckled. The villain hummed, seemingly asking what's so funny?

"You only like it cause it's my only imperfection, it's you. You are my only imperfection." It seemed funny that Hero notices just now with the villain practically slobbering at their neck. He didn't seem to disturbed though. Egotistical bastard.

Without moving the villain of exactly where he shouldn't be, Hero reached for his wrist on the other side of her face. She slipped her thumb under his sleeve to find a matching scar to her's. His was thicker, planned, and much, much cleaner than her's. The villain pulled away to look at his hero.

Without breaking eye contact, she put his scar to her mouth and kissed it, every so gently- villain considered it heaven, but in reality they both knew it was an act of war. It really didn't matter to the villain as the hero made her way from his wrist to his lips, where they would revisit again and again against all better judgement.

[createserenity]

Is there any love in heaven?

I’ve been thinking about writing about this for a while, because it’s a major point in the characters of both Aziraphale and Crowley – although this is mostly about Crowley because it relates to something else I'm writing. It’s also all my opinion, I totally understand why other people have a different opinion and a different reading of things that happen in GO, so please don’t be offended by any of this. I'm prepared for the fact that I might be totally wrong, and that's okay too.

Anyway, is it possible that Crowley feels horribly about his fall because he has been torn from the grace and love of heaven and the Almighty? Well, anything’s possible. But also…

What love?

Look at these angels.

Are you seriously suggesting to me that they in any way feel loved? They haven’t got the first clue about love. They don’t feel it. They don’t experience it. They don’t know what it is. The Almighty does not love them.

Angels in GO were created to be servants of the Almighty. They are there to do her will and make sure the Great Plan is carried out. They aren’t her children. She isn’t coddling them like a parent or even loving them as equals or friends. She treats them as servants, or at best as members of her political party.

How do we know they don’t understand love?

We know from season two that the angels have no idea how human romantic love works. Aziraphale has to explain the concept as “what humans do” and Michael et al clearly have no context for this piece of information. They don’t even understand that “miracles don’t work like that” (even Crowley doesn’t appear to know this interestingly). Later on Crowley is able to trick Muriel, and then by extension Michael and Uriel, into believing human love works in a certain way (“you can only tell if people are in love by waiting a few days because humans are weird and that’s how it works”). So it’s fairly obvious that there is no concept of romantic love in heaven.

So this is all very well, but of course, the Almighty wouldn’t have romantic love for the angels, so it could be plausible they wouldn’t understand that but would still understand other types of love. Except…

The archangels, and even Muriel, see nothing wrong with depriving Job and Sitis of their children. They literally don’t understand the bonds of any sort of love that might exist between two beings.

Aziraphale understands because he has been on earth and has seen first-hand the way in which humans form bonds of love. He knows of the love between two humans and between a parent and child. When he tries to explain this to the archangels all he can come up with is “I think they quite like the old ones”. If there was some parallel to be drawn between any sort of love the Almighty might bestow on the angels then he would absolutely have used that to help explain what Job was going to feel at the loss of his children, but he doesn’t, because the parallel doesn’t exist – the angels know nothing of love.

But Aziraphale recognises love when he feels it in Tadfield?

Sure. He’s been on earth a long time. He knows what love is and as a being of goodness it seems he can sense very strong good emotions. He loves things himself in many different ways (books, food, Crowley, humans) and recognises that what he feels for them is love in different forms. He’s learnt what love is through being on earth.

Also just because the Almighty isn’t bestowing her love on her angels doesn’t mean that she made them without the capacity for love. (Even Gabriel clearly has the capacity to love.) It’s possible she wanted them to worship her, or at least be obedient to her, and that in the early days this obedience was not intended to be the obedience of fear, but the obedience of gratitude and perhaps respect or obligation.

In fact the word that would best describe this would be devotion. The angels were supposed to be devoted to the Almighty and to her Great Plan. They were supposed to be devoted to their purpose, unquestioning and obedient. Devotion is not the same as love, especially when it only goes one way, and of course when a relationship only goes one way the relationship either fades away entirely or becomes twisted over time.

Could this be a new thing?

Is it possible that when they were first created the Almighty did love her angelic creations? Well possibly. I’m sure she was pleased with them. I’m sure at first they were delightful to her. None of this is the same as suffusing them with her love.

When Aziraphale and angel-who becomes-Crowley meet in S2E1 we see them both as they were before the fall happened. Do either of them seem like they are basking in the love of an Almighty being? Not to me they don’t. Aziraphale is his usual lovely self, but he’s already nervous and knows that you can get into trouble, even in this pre-earth era. Crowley appears to have been completely absorbed by his star building project and barely paying attention to the Almighty or what she’s doing. Again, they are servants who have been given orders, or members of a political party who are out working in their constituencies, following the general party line, but mostly just getting on with their jobs. Aziraphale also knows they risk getting fired or punished if they invoke displeasure in their superiors – he’s not a being who is confident in the protection and safety of some divine love.

Also if the angels had once had the love of the Almighty and then lost it you’d think they might mention it at some point? Certainly Aziraphale might mention or hint or act in some way like that had happened. But he doesn’t, because it very likely hasn’t. Also when he thinks he’s fallen after lying to Gabriel about Job’s children if he had some sense of love from the Almighty he would know in this moment that he had not lost that love and that he was not fallen. And note here that he says, “I’m a fallen angel!” because he thinks he’s already fallen. He’s not expecting the fall to happen when Crowley arrives, nor when he actually steps into hell itself, he thinks it’s already a done deal and that it happened the moment he lied. There’s no way he wouldn’t know that falling involved losing the love and grace of the Almighty if it did in fact involve that – it would be a point widely advertised and feared in heaven, it would be something used to keep the angels in line. But it isn’t, because it doesn’t happen. There’s no love to lose.

What does this mean for Crowley’s fall?

Well for a start it means he isn’t carrying around some hang up over having been divinely loved and then having this ripped away from him. At most he is feeling rejected by his employer or his political party leader, which I’m not saying isn’t something that would cause him to be hurt or upset, but it’s certainly less significant than losing something that equates to the human concept of motherly or divine love.

Also to me for all that Crowley says, “I didn’t mean to fall” and “all I did was ask questions,” he clearly chose to do so – he chose to keep asking, even knowing the consequences. He picked a side in the war and must have at least in part known what picking that side meant. He knew he wasn’t siding with the Almighty and he did so of his own free will. Choice is a major theme in Good Omens – Crowley made a choice between two sides and picked the one that he saw as the better option at the time (not the perfect option, he doesn’t much like hell either, but I think he liked that they weren’t pretending to be something they’re not). He repeatedly makes it clear throughout the series that he does not regret this choice. He doesn’t want to go back. He thinks heavens rules and actions are ridiculous. Yes he’d love to get the chance to ask the Almighty a few questions, but only because he wants to know what the fuck they were thinking with this whole ridiculous plan.

When he “prays” to the Almighty it’s not really praying, it’s not a sign of faith, he’s just lamenting at a person he knows exists that he thinks is doing stupid things. He’s basically putting in a complaint to head office, though he knows the CEO isn’t actually going to be replying. He never asks her for anything, he simply asks questions, gives his opinion and makes suggestions. “Show me a Great Plan” – there’s nothing great about this plan, what are you playing at? Show me a better one. “You said you were going to be testing them, but you shouldn’t test them to destruction” – I remember you said you were going to do this, but it completely sucks, it’s rubbish, you’re doing the wrong thing yet again in my opinion.

What Crowley regrets and hates is that any of them were forced to choose sides in the first place. We see this most clearly after he thinks he’s lost Aziraphale in the bookshop fire. He knows where Aziraphale has gone – to heaven – the one place he can’t follow, and it’s then that he laments, “I didn’t mean to fall.” Except he did mean to (he’s an unreliable narrator about the whole thing). What this is is the point at which he regrets falling because he realises that the choice he made so long ago has now separated him forever from the one being he actually cares about. Crowley’s default reaction when something goes wrong is to say he didn’t mean it to happen. It’s ironic that a demon who thinks everyone should get a choice denies his own informed choices at every turn, but then Crowley also believes in second chances for everyone. (Look how many chances he gives Aziraphale, then there’s Elspeth and even Job’s children, who, Jemimah excepted, are self-centred brats – they all deserve a second chance at life according to Crowley). He didn’t get one himself and I think that’s what he’s really upset about. I picked my side but there shouldn’t be sides at all and I shouldn’t have fallen because I should have been given another chance.

Any other points?

Yes, a completely contradictory one that goes back to the idea of the withdrawal of love being a new thing where all angels once were loved and this has been withdrawn from them all. I’ve given this some extra consideration partly because whilst there definitely doesn’t seem to be a concept of the fall being traumatic in the original book it’s not totally beyond the realms of possibility that Neil might be retrofitting the story and might play that angle a little in the last series and I wanted to think about how that might go. Since there doesn’t seem to be any love in heaven now I can’t imagine any scenario where this isn’t an all or nothing loss of love.

I’m just going restate right here that for the reasons I mentioned earlier I’m dubious about it ever becoming a thing – pre-fall Aziraphale and Crowley do not seem to be basking in heavenly love, but for the sake of this argument let’s imagine for a second that they are. Let’s imagine the Almighty created the angels and surrounded them with her divine love and grace.

Maybe after the war in heaven the Almighty is so hurt by the rebellion of some of her angels (because nothing can hurt you like the slight of someone you love deeply) that she withdraws her love entirely from all of them. Maybe that’s why the archangels are so bitter and twisted – they were the most loved, they have lost the most. Perhaps all angels are all living under this shadow of having been loved once upon a time but having had that love withdrawn. Maybe that’s why the angels stick so rigidly to the party line – perhaps in a way they are all traumatised. If we can just be good enough, if we can be perfect enough, if we can get the plan exactly right, maybe we will earn back the love of the Almighty.

If that’s the scenario then that’s the greatest tragedy of them all.

[sulfurz]

ೃ༄ SHIELDING FEELINGS (LITERALLY) (roman reigns x fem!reader)

ೃ༄ PAIRING: roman reigns x fem!reader

ೃ༄ REQUESTED BY: anon

heyyyy!! i have a fluff request for roman x (fem) reader. it’s set in his shield days and the reader is a apart of the shield (or a really close allies with them whichever you want) and she’s kind of like the lita of the group. Her and roman have huge crushes on eachother and it’s so obvious to not only seth and dean/mox but the whole wwe universe. So the two guys try to come up with a plan to have them both confess to eachother 😅😅

ೃ༄ WARNINGS: this is pure humour and fluff! basically just himbos dean and seth struggling at playing cupid

ೃ༄WORD COUNT: 1.8k

ೃ༄ NOTE: hello lovely anon i got a BIT carried away with this i apologise but i hope it still works🥹 i had way too much fun writing shield as terrible matchmakers

dean ambrose had a plan.

albeit, it wasn’t a very well thought out one. but it was a plan of somewhat decent calibre.

you see, he had a lot of time for you, acting as shield’s manager and all. what he didn’t have time for was how goddamn dumb you could be sometimes (seth’s words, not his — although he very much agreed).

what was it that got dean so riled up, you ask? well it was the fact that you were so evidently in love with roman reigns, and yet never managed to say more than a pretty pathetic ‘uh, you look nice’ whenever the four of you were backstage.

even worse than you? roman. this man had not kept his crush on your quiet. apparently you were the only one who couldn’t see it, and yet instead of ever acting on said emotions, roman liked to play a fun game of hide from y/n in the locker rooms until it’s time for our match and then i only have to see her for five minutes before. this had, on many occasions, ended with dean nearly throwing him to the ground because of course all this was going to do was make you worry the very beautiful yet stubborn man hated you.

a pretty man, but clearly very little common sense, dean had concluded.

so that was when, after too many training sessions in which you’d sit in silence until your coach brought you into the conversation, he hatched his master plan.

now just to put it into action.

it just so happened the final member of the shield would be a perfect partner.

—

the plan was, in dean and seth’s eyes, bulletproof. they would probably have to undergo a pretty intense intervention afterwards considering how wrong they had been; but at first, their confidence was through the roof.

oh no, dean hurt his shoulder in practice — what a shame! good job seth was there to take him to the medic, a walk he definitely could have done on his own! but they were so smart, right? surely you and roman would talk about something if forced to coinhabit the same space without a buffer?

yeah. they really thought so too.

but after fifteen minutes of hiding behind a comically large stack of chairs, they felt it necessary to put the two of you out of your misery and cry that it was a false alarm.

maybe you two really were more hopeless than dean initially thought.

so came attempt two: the halloween party. because who doesn’t love a good dress up party?

apparently, cupid was more of a christmas fan.

as it happened, vast majority of people brought their dates to the work party, which dean and seth hadn’t planned for, but made the situation even more perfect. not to mention you and roman had accidentally both turned up dressed as demons (finn balor made a playful scene when you walked in) — it was practically a match made in heaven! or hell…

this attempt was easy in theory: set up a conversation about how fun dancing was, before abandoning the two of you at a table to take to the dancefloor themselves. surely you’d get fed up of being left out and want to join???? surely!

except, what dean and seth had failed to consider was that in the spirit of halloween, and the fact that some of the most iconic superstars in the roster loved a good prank, the place was practically decked out with tricks, instead of treats.

dean and seth observed quietly from the dancefloor (they had long since abandoned their girlfriends and were simply dancing together now, chest to chest (hey — this matchmaking was a taxing game!)), practically cheering when they saw the two of you finally getting somewhere.

roman stood, offering a hand to you with a good natured “if you can’t beat them, join them?”, and it was obvious the two of you were so close to finally making that first step as your hand reached for his—

then, a plastic skeleton hidden in a bowl of candy on your tabled decided to choose that moment to make its appearance very known.

and there went your glass of red wine, all down your favourite pantsuit (luckily — it was red too, but the dark patch across your chest was not doing you any favours).

roman very sweetly apologised on behalf of the skeleton, which was the very final part of the conversation seth and dean heard before you were scurrying away to change. they quite literally facepalmed as they walked over to a dumbfounded roman, who still played the entire situation off.

it seemed they’d have to step things up if they really wanted to get through the both of your very thick skulls.

so attempt three was… certainly less subtle.

worse still, it came only a month after the halloween party, when you were still in the thick of your ‘hiding from roman reigns’ era, so imagine your surprise when here comes dean ambrose and seth rollins, dragging roman up to you with the latter wearing an expression of confusion that surely mimicked you own.

“okay.” dean spoke, slamming a hand on the catering table “you, roman, like y/n.”

“you, y/n, like roman.” seth added.

then, like one of those old timely comedy acts, at the same time the men both exclaimed a “now talk!”

and to yours and roman’s credit… you did speak?

it’s not your fault the members of shield hadn’t made the topic entirely clear. it was obvious by now that when it came to roman, you were blind to any subtext, so they could hardly blame you for missing the mark.

“of course i like roman? he’s my friend?” you questioned warily, genuinely beginning to get concerned for the two men you considered friends.

“are you two okay?” roman added, genuine concern across his face as he outstretched a hand to slap seth? check him for a fever? both?

you hummed in confirmation, thinking back on every odd occurrence that had happened between you and roman recently, realising that the common denominator in every situation was the two other members of the stable you managed probably saying something extremely dumb.

—

eventually, dean and seth had to admit they were terrible matchmakers.

when the christmas party that same year had been announced, they very nearly put another thing together, but a swift reminder from the wonderful (and honestly; terrifying) randy orton, the two were reminded of every failed attempt in the past, and their plan unravelled before it had even found it’s feet.

as would turn out, when there wasn’t two idiots meddling, that was when things unfolded themselves.

after the many times you had embarrassed yourself in front of your teammate lately, you weren’t expecting roman to approach you mid way through the party. he had spent pretty much the entire night hovering on the opposite side of the room, and for good reason to. you were a liability after all, and his suit shirt was too nice to end up with wine on it. you had opted for white wine instead this time though, just incase.

“hi.” a deep voice came from behind you.

you had been watching triple h and stephanie dancing together for the best part of half an hour, nursing your glass of wine contentedly until the voice behind you had startled you. your glass wobbled in your hand in a terrifying suggested repeat of the halloween event, but roman was prepared this time, swiftly reaching a hand around you and saving it from disaster.

“i should have probably learnt not to sneak up on you.” he joked, motioning with your (thankfully still full) wine glass in his hand before he handed it back to you.

“i certainly learnt that red wine is tasty but dangerous.” you played along, your heart doing a weird thumping thing at how roman chuckled.

“i’m sorry if the other guys ever made you feel uncomfortable.” roman said genuinely, catching you off guard. it was rare you spoke, let alone when the topics brushed a level of seriousness. “we love having you working with us as shield, but they don’t know when to turn off the jokes sometimes.”

you shook your head quickly, hating the idea that roman was concerned about you. sure, dean and seth were idiots at the best of times, but it was a huge part of their charm. from them trying to break roman during promos to their odd, but intriguing backstage celebrations, the slight unhinged enthusiasm was what you loved.

“trust me. i love working with them. with, with you all.” you added at the last second, not missing the slight upper curl in the corner of roman’s mouth when he realised he was included.

you could already feel the blush creeping to your cheeks just because of all his attention being on you, and you knew you were just seconds away from blurting something stupid, when an equally annoying cough came from your side.

comically, both you and roman turned your heads at the same time to see the entirely expected source of the disturbance.

seth and dean were standing a little while away, watching you with the biggest grins you had ever seen. arguably bigger than whenever your team won.

when you realised what was causing their giggles, your heart stopped.

you had casually followed dean’s eyeline, just a simple attempt to see if you could figure out the cause, when you found it immediately. and it seemed roman did too.

mistletoe. hung exactly above where the two of you stood.

you couldn’t help but widen your eyes, going to take a step back but being prevented by a gentle, yet grounding touch to your wrist. when you looked back at roman, he was closer than before, and it was practically an instinct how your eyes flickered down to his lips.

“in the spirit of christmas, right?” he asked, a grin that told it was more than just christmas spirit, and in fact something he had been trying to tell you for a while.

still, you took your time, placing a cautious hand on his bicep as you leant in to connect your lips to his. “in the spirit of christmas.”

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hey I would like to request a good omens Crowley x reader angsty sad fic where they are pining over him but he loves aziraphale and they don’t want to interfere. Kind of Laufey’s song Let You Break My Heart Again vibes. Thx!!❤️

"Why couldn't I have what THEY had, [y/n]?! Maybe it's...it's all part of God's great ineffable plan! As if fallin' weren't enough...y'know? Why not allow him to walk outta my life and crawl back to the other angelss, too? Keep fuckin' me over, I suppose. This must be karma, I swear.."

"Crowley.." You began, only to stop as the demon on the other end of the line continued his drunken sorrowful ramblings.

He was still clearly hurting, and you were his only company left.

The only one who knew about him and Aziraphale and everything they've done together for the past 6,000 years.

You've been around for a thousand or so, not aligned with Heaven nor Hell, but living as a simple immortal being.

However, only very recently have you learned that they've in fact known each other since the very dawn of Creation.

So their history goes way back.

It's no secret that Crowley's been pining after the angel all these years, forced to pretend he hates him just because he was on the "opposite side".

But he was sick of doing all of that, and finally got the courage to tell him how he really felt. He begged him to stay, to stop taking sides, and to think about just them for once.

In the end, Aziraphale still chose the side that shunned him for conspiring with a demon, halting Armageddon, and hiding Gabriel on Earth...all because he was offered a higher position of power and couldn't so easily let go of Heaven.

Not as easily as Crowley could. He couldn't understand that, or why Gabriel and Beelzebub could go off together and they couldn't.

Now you were here, having to comfort the very same demon that you've fallen in love with yourself.

It felt like such a selfish desire, knowing that you haven't lived nearly as long as either of them. You weren't there at the beginning of Everything. You weren't there at the Garden of Eden.

You could never fully understand their deep-rooted bond.

There's no way he would ever see you in a remotely similar light.

Even still, the heart wants what it wants..even if it's unobtainable.

"Listen, Crowley.." You tried speaking again. "I'm next in line, do you want anything?"

Perhaps that was rather poorly worded, as you heard a sniffle and what sounded like him holding back a sob. "I just want him to come back.." His voice broke.

There was that feeling again, constricting your human heart with pain.

It was such a fickle organ, you often thought. It kept people alive, yet when put through emotional toil..it felt like it was killing them, and they wanted nothing more than to rip it out of their chest to be rid of the pain.

But right in this moment, you felt like that because deep down...you wish he instead said that he wanted-

"W-Wait..you're..at that café 'cross the bookshop, right?" You heard Crowley mumble. "I'll get the usual..assuming she remembers. Actually...don't bother-"

"It's fine, Crow. It'll be my treat. I'm getting something, too...not that we actually need it. But we both enjoy it, right?"

"...right." He chuckled depressingly. "Fine. I'll be outside."

That was a surprise, although when you briefly glanced outside the window of Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death, you noticed the Bentley parked next to the sidewalk. You sighed, hanging up the phone before you stepped up to the register, smiling at Nina.

"Hello, Nina. I'll have my usual..and Mr. Crowley's, too. Six espresso shots, was it? And one of those [favorite flavor] pies, pretty please." You pointed to the menu.

"On it." She nodded, already getting to work on your order. "You know, I haven't seen that chap around in a while. How's he holding up? I heard he took it pretty hard."

"Yeah." You muttered, recalling how you've talked to her about your own feelings for Crowley.

You weren't expecting a human to solve the relationship woes of immortal beings when she herself was going through her own issues.

She worried that her and Maggie's little "intervention" caused the demon and angel to split up, but you didn't blame her. And neither did Crowley, although he was torn between wishing he didn't kiss Aziraphale and wondering if he'd regret not doing that at all.

He hasn't been back at the coffee shop since.

"Well, do you plan to tell him anytime soon?"

You nearly choked on your own spit. "N-Nina...I..I can't just do that. He clearly doesn't see me that way. He talks about him every day and night. I've stayed up past midnight consoling him, letting him stay with me the moment I learned he's sleeping outta his car. But...it's him he loves, not me. And I can't interfere with that..it would be wrong."

"Then...what's your plan from here?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"..I'm not sure anymore. I guess hope that one day..I'll stop falling in love with him. Maybe his angel will come back and everything will be as it was."

"Sounds like wishful thinking at this point, but I'm sure things will work out. Maybe he'll move on."

"I doubt it, but time will tell."

"Right." After finishing the drinks, she set them down into a cupholder, before giving you the pie as well. You paid and bid her farewell before heading out of the café and to the Bentley.

Inside, you saw Crowley sulking, lost in thought until you knocked on the passenger's window. He sat up with a start, fixing his glasses when he realized it was you. "S-Sorry."

The door opened, and you slid inside, passing him the tall cup with tons of espresso shots. "It's okay. So..where did you wanna go today?"

"I was thinkin'..St. James Park. Feel like I've been neglecting the ducks for far too long."

You blinked. 'Wasn't that..his and Aziraphale's thing-?'

"Yeah, I know..it...was our thing." He responded as though he read your mind. "'s just..been so lonely without him to chatter to. I hate siting all alone on that bench. But it's not like I can just walk Upstairs and tell him to screw all of them, right?"

"Sadly..no." Shaking your head, you glanced over your shoulder at the plants he's shoved into his backseat. Closest to you was a venus fly trap that had spots and other flaws, looking rather frail and wilted and sad.

Not too different from how its owner felt.

You smiled sadly and stroked the top of its head with your thumb, feeling it cease its trembles. Its mouth closed as it seemed to...purr?

How cute.

"Well would ya look at that...ya even treat the bloody things the same as he did.."

You tensed, looking back to Crowley and frowning upon seeing the tears sliding down his cheeks. But he was quick to wipe them away once you noticed them, yet a sniffle still managed to escape him.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep doing stuff that reminds you of him.." You set a hand on his back. "Do you...want me to drive?"

"No, it's fine.." He shook his head, sniffling loudly one last time before he managed to pull himself together. "Let's just..go."

You nodded, taking a sip of your coffee and a small bite of your pie, before you reached for the radio-

However, you forgot that the Bentley was sentient, instead turning it on for you and playing a song that nearly made you choke once again.

"--All I've had is coffee and leftover pie. It's no wonder why. Ooooh, still you take up all my mind. I don't even think that you care like I do. I should stop, Heaven knows I've tried..."

Even Crowley froze as he listened to the lyrics.

And not because it wasn't a Queen song.

"One day, I will stop falling in love with you."

Neither of you spoke a word, instead staring at the dashboard with looks of sadness upon your faces. You thought he would've changed the song by now, but...when you looked over, you could see his glasses now resting on the bridge of his nose.

His golden irises have almost completely taken over the whites of his eyes.

What little you saw of them..

Were growing redder and glossier.

"Some day, someone will like me like I like you."

You felt your own eyes start to sting, too, so you looked away and opted to pet the venus fly trap that was nuzzling your hand, clearly asking for more much-needed affection.

Sentient plants were easy to comfort.

If only your demon friend could be the same way..

If only you could show him that you wished to be more than just friends..but this simply wasn't your place to tell him that.

Not here, not now...and possibly not ever. For as long as you lived on this mortal plane.

All you could hope was that one day, the feeling will pass.

If Aziraphale came back, things might be better. You wished the idiot would at least check in with you both once in a while so you knew he was alive.

If that's the last time you hear from him, well....you weren't sure if Crowley would ever want to try loving again after what he's suffered through. He poured his heart out, only for it to get broken and stomped on before being left all alone on Earth.

He couldn't go through that again.

And you didn't wanna say anything about how you felt for the centuries you've known him. He could very well perceive that as you trying to replace him and ruin this friendship.

The wounds in his heart are still clearly fresh..and they likely will be for a long, long time.

For now, you'll just be by his side and be mindful. Perhaps he'll eventually realize how you felt about him...but you doubt it.

"Until then, I'll drink my coffee, eat my pie. Pretend we are more than friends. Then of course, I'll let you break my heart again-"

Crowley's hand suddenly shot towards the button, the car filling with an abrupt silence as he shut off the music. Then he switched between several Queen songs, eyebrows furrowed as none of them seemed to suit his current mood.

If Queen didn't make him happy anymore...he was seriously in emotional distraught.

But eventually he settled for "Somebody to Love", and you smiled, wiping your eyes as you leaned back in the seat. "Good choice."

He nodded absentmindedly, before finally driving off to the park after adjusting his glasses.

No further words were exchanged. You didn't even scold him for speeding down the tightly-knitted roads of London. That's the last thing he needed right now.

Especially since you picked up that habit from Aziraphale.

But even as Freddie's voice reverberated through the Bentley, you two couldn't stop thinking about the lyrics of Laufey's song and what it meant to both of you.

Yet the people it reminded you of...were completely different.

[cacoetheswriting]

pearl: august 1984

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader word count: 2k chapter summary: goodbyes are always hard. and as eddie comes to learn, they're especially hard when they happen with a person you love.

content warnings: best friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, suggestive & mature themes, adult language, angsty, hard goodbyes, self-doubt / insecurities, mentions of recreational drug use, use of pet names - if i missed anything, pls let me know!

The day Eddie had been dreading for months has finally arrived.

His best friend was leaving to start an adventure in college and she was doing so… without him. 

He really shouldn’t be this upset, after all, he’d been anticipating this moment ever since the two of you found out he wouldn’t get passable grades. But as he watched you pack the rest of the boxes into your parents car, his heart ached. It was suddenly all too real.

The two of you spent the entire summer trying to knock off as many items as you possibly could off a spontaneous bucket list you once came up with while high. From camping in the woods, then watching the sunset and sunrise together, randomly putting up Christmas decorations in July (the trailer looked like something out of a holiday special, for which Wayne almost killed you both), to even getting small matching tattoos — your initials on the inside of your right pinkies. The two of you completed every ridiculous thing on that list and honestly had the time of your lives while doing so. 

“We should come up with a new list for next summer,” you muse, sitting with your legs dangling off the edge of the roof of your parents house.

Eddie smirks. He’s next to you, laying down and looking up at the cotton-candy clouds above as he gently rubs his hand on the bare skin of your lower back in a circular motion. The two of you had been in this position for the last twenty minutes, talking about nothing and everything all at once. And Eddie’s not a religious person by any means, but he thinks this is what heaven must feel like. He’s sure of it, actually.

“Maybe we could go on a mini road trip? Hm?” You continue, glancing back at your best friend's relaxed frame. “Celebrate you graduating in style, in New Orleans, as opposed to the stupid Hideout. What do you think?”

He smiles at the thought. He smiles at the fact you’re actually planning to still be in his life next year, never mind going on a trip together, despite your clear ability to make friends anywhere you go. Then, because of the same exact reason, his smile falters and he sits up slightly, propping himself up on his forearms before tilting his head as he looks at you.

“What if you meet someone new?” Eddie ponders and although the tone of his voice is teasing, the expression on his face is filled with worry. “You’re not gonna want to celebrate my delayed High School graduation when you could be goin’ on some fancy trip with your fancy college friends.”

You roll your eyes then lay backwards, leaning against his side. “Why would I want to make new friends when the one I have now provides me with enough dramatics?”

The tease earns you a melodic chuckle and a poke to your ribcage. 

“Ha!” Eddie mocks, “You’re hilarious.”

“And you’re being stupid, so just agree to the New Orleans plan and shut up ‘cause all I’m tryin’ to do is have another perfect summer.”

Eddie huffs lightheartedly before laying back down, one arm now around your shoulder, holding you close. The giggles die down slowly and he lets out a content sigh.

“Shit, princess. I gotta be honest, I don’t think we’ll be able to create anything nearly as perfect as this.”

And for Eddie, it really was the perfect summer with the perfect girl. His girl.

Unfortunately for him, his girl was playing tetris with her belongings, making sure it all fit in the boot of the car, as he watched with a sullen look on his face because you weren't really his and this would be the last time you two saw each other at least until Thanksgiving.

Eddie realised his feelings for you developed into something he wasn’t used to after that afternoon in the back of his van, back in March, when he sang Me and Bobby McGee to you. Ever since then, he had tried to navigate around this unforeseen situation and later, the last few weeks to be exact, he even tried to tell you how he felt on numerous different occasions. Well, actually, tried is a strong word. 

The correct expression would be he thought about telling you, but every time the moment felt somewhat right, he chickened out. His insecurities got the better of him because what if he didn’t really like you in a romantic way, just made himself believe that he did since you were leaving and his mind was selfishly trying to convince him professing his feelings would get you to stay. Or worse. He was scared to be honest ‘cause what if you didn’t feel the same way and he just flushed years of friendship down the drain.

But right this second, despite all perceived consequences and scenarios he replayed in his head on loop, Eddie was full of regret. He should have been honest with you since, at the end of the day, it didn’t matter if you liked him back ‘cause he’d remain your friend regardless. You, your friendship, meant more to him than any potential relationship.

“Eds,” you hail him back to reality, “Can you be a gentleman and help me with my last suitcases? They’re all that’s left in my room.”

He nods, plastering a fake smile on his face, and follows you inside. 

The once colourfully decorated bedroom, your safe space as well as his, was now pretty much empty. Everything was gone, aside from permanent pieces of furniture, random posters, awards for different high school accomplishments, and knick knacks you thought were too childish for college.

You point to the suitcases you would like for him to take, but Eddie's distracted. His eyes are darting around the space. He's remembering where things used to be and all the memories associated with them, and he seriously thinks there’s nothing left to do but break down.

“Eddie,” you say in a soft tone, standing in front of him, “Are you okay?”

All he can do is shake his head. The action, albeit small, was enough for you to drop the bag you were holding and wrap your arms around him.

The hug is intense yet gentle all at the same time. You rest the palms of your hands on his back as he lifts his own arms to hold you in place by your waist, grip tightening with every passing second. And he’s a complete goner. Head over heels. I think I like you as more than just my best friend, he thinks to himself and it really takes everything he’s got not to say those words out loud.

Instead, Eddie gets lost in the scent of your perfume and the comfort of your delicate breathing into his frame. He’s memorising how your touch feels, how peaceful it is to simply be hugged by you. He wants to remember this forever and be able to think about it when you’re a thousand miles away.

He's not exactly sure how long the two of you stand like this for. Not like he cares, though. He wishes you could remain in this position forever. Reality unfortunately strikes when he hears you sniffling into his raggedy t-shirt. You proceed to reluctantly pull away and wipe your nose along with any lone tears that may have escaped while the two of you hugged, before offering him a warm smile.

“I-I actually have something for you,” you say and retrieves a cassette tape from the back pocket of your jeans. “I was going to give this to you when we said our final goodbyes, but I guess it doesn’t have to wait. Here.”

Eddie reaches for the gift and for the first time all morning, the smile on his face is genuine. It’s a copy of Janis Joplin’s Pearl.

“It’s my tape. The same one we listened to in your van that time,” you explain as his fingers graze across the cracked case. “I wanted to get you a new one but I figured the sentimental value of this one is priceless. After all, one of my favourite memories with you is associated with this specific tape.”

That’s when the metalhead looks up to catch your eye. 

“I can’t accept this.”

“No, no, no,” you protest, “It would really mean a lot to me if you took it, Eddie. I kinda like the thought of you listening to it when I’m a thousand miles away.” There’s a brief pause as you hesitate, “Maybe you’ll even think of your best friend when Me and Bobby McGee plays.”

There’s a glimmer in your eyes that Eddie can’t quite decipher, though, it’s a look that makes him want to reach out for you and wrap his arms around you once again.

So that’s exactly what he does.

He slides the tape into one of the pockets of his denim jacket before pulling you into another embrace. You slam gently into his chest, smiling wide, and let out content hum as Eddie places a kiss on your crown. 

This was your last moment together for months. Months. That terrified you both equally. Since the two of you first started hanging out, you’ve only ever been apart for maybe a day or two at a time — usually when either of you was sick, but even then you’d find a way to see each other, if only through a bedroom window.

Eddie was also fortunate enough that your parents really liked him. They never judged him by his appearance or thought of him any less because of the way he was brought up. Even with your dad being a police officer, bailing the curly-haired teen out of trouble on more than one occasion, your parents were always supportive of your friendship.

He’s gonna miss the Thursday dinners at your house. The family trips he was always invited to join. Learning how to fix up cars with your dad while you sat on a broken chair in the corner of the garage and did your homework. And even though Eddie knows that even with you away at college, he always has support in your parents, the thought of doing any mundane task without you, makes him sorrowful.

“I’ll never not be thinking of you, princess.” Eddie announces honestly. “Even when you’re making new friends and are busy forgetting all about me,” he tries to joke, but it just pains him more, “You are always, always, going to be on my mind.” 

He thinks then that his feelings are indeed genuine. He’s convinced mainly because this feels right. Him and you, holding each other like this. It feels… right. And his heart grows fonder as you squeeze him tighter, plus he swears there’s an aura around the two of you, glowing a bright fucking pink like in the comics he’s always telling you to read. Jesus Christ. Screw “liking” you. He may actually even be deeply fucking in love with you.

Which is exactly why he cannot tell you. Especially now.

You deserve to say goodbye to Hawkins, even if it’s just temporary, and get the education you’ve been dreaming of ever since he’s known you, meet new and interesting people, and make memories that he’ll gladly listen to detailed retellings of. Eddie knows if he told you right now, whether you felt the same way or not, you would feel guilty for leaving. You wouldn’t enjoy yourself as much as a college experience is supposed to be enjoyed ‘cause you’d be constantly thinking of him.

Eddie couldn’t do that to you. Not now. Maybe one day he would admit it to you: “Princess, I’ve been in love with you since we were eighteen.”. Honestly, he doesn’t mind that at all. Just depends on where your life takes you, which he selfishly hopes isn’t too far away from him.

“Shit, I am really gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Eddie.”

pearl masterlist | main masterlist

thank you for reading <3

& tagging some cool people that expressed interest in this lil series: @cactusangie , @spenciesprincess , @capitanostella

[secretdiaryofcrowley]

“Hello, Traitor.”

How?

How, how, how? How can she be in here?

I just got used to the fact that my Bentley has angelic protection now. And that protection didn't fade away when my angel left for Heaven. Demons can't be in here; they’d have to be invited in.

Shax obviously can. “I was going to pull you down to my new office, as it seems befitting for my new position. But you’re so miserable already, I didn’t want to drag you out of your safe space."

No, you just wanna throw it right into my face that you can be in said safe space without any consequences. Don't think I don't recognize your tactics.

"Besides, Hell doesn’t need to know about our little talk, do they?”

"Oh, are we having a talk?" Slouching in my seat I lean back, giving her my cheekiest smirk. Oh, I can feel her new powers emanating from her and I don't know what she's capable of, but there's no way in Hell, I'll show her any fear. Two can play this game.

"We are. I brought chocolates."

"Chocolates?" My face freezes again, this time with astonishment. "You honestly think, I can be won over with chocolates?"

She eyes me from the side. "Well, my first intent was using death threats, but after watching you cry and whine and sob all these last months, I didn't think you would mind discorporation or even destruction so much. If I threatened you, you'd probably respond with something like: 'I don't want to live without my angel!' or 'Please kill me already.' So, I decided not to do you that favour.”

All these last months watching Crowley TV? “Oh, so glad, I could contribute to your amusement with my misery.”

“You couldn’t. Although my associate quite enjoyed seeing you like this... Oh, that was sarcasm, wasn’t it? I’m getting very good at spotting it.”

“Oh, are you? My sincerest congratulations on making Duchess of Hell, then.”

“Thank you.” Shax looks very pleased with herself. “Finally, the next step in my career. Beelzebub was right about their departure offering chances. It won’t stop at this stage, though. I have great plans for my future.”

“Lemme guess.” I take a closer look at the box of chocolates lying on the dashboard. “Grand Duchess of Hell, Princess of Hell, Mother of Demons…”

She brought schnapspralinen. What am I gonna be, a kangaroo? Oh, but there’s whiskey and rum and vodka and ouzo and eau de vie and sake... oh, my! Pity, they aren’t full bottles, just tiny sips covered in chocolate.

“You’ve been out of Hell for a while.” Shax frowns, her giant face hovering over me. “But you do remember that demons don’t have… Crowley, what are you doing?”

“Right.” It’s all just a question of size, isn’t it? I’ll think, I’ll start with that round piece of cherry brandy. Ngk… why does that stupid pen have to be so heavy? And… bam! Nice little holey hole! Keep the good stuff flowing.

“Crowley! Will you stop this nonsense?”

She reaches for me, but I’m quicker, jumping down on the steering wheel to evade her hand. “What? A gift is a gift!”

“I want you to work for me, Crowley. You’ll get to be Duke of Hell, once I’m Grand Duchess. And you can have your flat back.”

“The Bentley’s fine. Lots and lots and lots of space for me to enjoy.” I slide down on one side of the steering wheel (hey, this is fun) and start to climb over the radio to get back on the dashboard.

This time, she’s quicker. Her hand comes down on me and she grabs me between her gloved fingers. “I could just squash you like a bug.”

“Right.” Tiny little tears spurt from my eyes. “My angel has left me for Heaven, please be merciful and end my suffering.”

“No. Stop being so pathetic.” She sets me down and I reach for the pen again. Your vodka’s mine, you pear-shaped piece of brittle chocolate. Hand it over right now!

There’s simply no way in Heaven or Hell I’m having the rest of this conversation sober.

~*~

More Diary Parts

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21

[the-burd-lord]

Finally am confident enough to post my redesign of Charlie. Buckle up cause it’s a lot!

Kept her simple since I think her original design is kinda alright, but went with the doll aesthetic more.

Made her design simple enough for it to stand out in most any environment within Hell. Should probably have made a colored version for her, but I'm keeping the white and pink from her original design, but making her outfit yellow to compliment the reds of Hell and the blues of Heaven.

Here’s the newest design although I'm still fiddling around with different variations for the marks on her face, shown later in this post. Might lean towards stop motion look with how the mouths of the characters are always a separate segment from the face.

Eventually she goes from bellhop to more of a concierge roll as she gains more confidence in running the hotel, and eventually becomes the defacto ruler of Purgatory.

More on that later.

Also lil Lucifer resign too. Might make a whole post about him, but the basics are that I decided to go more “biblically accurate” angel for him.

He made Charlie's body, with Lilith drawing up the design for what she would look like. Overtime Charlie got to choose what she wanted to look like. She has accrued many bodies over her thousands of years of living.

Their relationship is close as although they don't see each other in person as often, Charlie always makes time to have at least one phone call a week with her dad. Especially with his worsening depression.

He doesn't fully believe in the hotel idea, but he’s willing to support his daughter anyway he can. Although he is hesitant when she requests to have an audience with Heaven as he knows how fickle they can be.

Especially when her first meeting with an angel is spent talking about rock bands.

I also changed up what Charlie is as not only is she a doll, but she is also the manifestation of “free will.” Spawned from Lilith and Lucifer’s union being an action that goes against "god's plan."

Although she barely remembers it, her actions caused Adam and Eve to eat the apple. She partially made the hotel out of guilt for condemning humanity, feeling as though she has to make it up to the sinners she condemned.

This makes her super hesitant to push the patrons to get help as although she knows that it'll help them in the long run it must fully be by their own free will to want to change. This hesitance also leads her to not fully interfere in their afterlives either, even when she knows a push is all they'll need.

She is able to literally be anyone or anything, and she is scared of this fact. Kinda getting decision paralysis. Also being that she is a being made out of pure energy this essentially means she's a bomb.

This is the result of what happens to her once her form is broken.

These are the old designs, went with a more streamlined look later.

Heavily inspired by the final form of the Princess from Slay the Princess. A game I highly recommend!

When in her "chimera form" she accidentally kills Adam, leading her to take him on as a guest at her hotel. It also leads her to convince Heaven and Hell to use Mount Purgatorio for her new liminal hotel. Kinda using Adam as a bargaining chip to show heaven that if angels can fall, then that doesn't mean sinners can't climb up the mountain to Heaven.

Overtime, with more horror influences I kept adding into her character and design I accidentally just made her into a creepy doll with some analog influences.

(It's almost like my subconscious is trying to tell me something 🤔)

Vaggie and her scary gf.

Decided to go for a more psychological route for Charlie’s abilities and personality. On the surface appearing normal, but still standing out in most environments because of her simplicity. That there's just something about her that doesn't quite fit anywhere.

Her character finally clicked for me after watching Paranoia Agent. She's not really based off any characters from the show, but some of the themes and imagery are baked into her character.

Along with the banger opening.

Eventually she builds her hotel in purgatory, and essentially becomes its ruler. Much to the chagrin of Heaven, who still only sees her as a demon. Even though she was technically born in the heavens.

Even though Charlie uses Adam as a bargaining chip they don't really care that he fell. But they don't want to be proven wrong either, so they reluctantly agree to the idea.

Also lil bonus of Charlie and Vaggie in nightwear. Gotta make another post for Vaggie, but I’m still working some things out with her story and character.

I apologize if so much of this post made no sense. I didn't realize how much I had written for Charlie. Although makes sense as she is supposed to be the main character.

I am happy to answer questions if y'all want more clarification.

[senditcolton]

breakable heaven

summary: when Juliette Lucas wakes up wrapped in the arms of Adam Lowry - the man that she had pined after for years - she should feel content. but instead, she feels guilty. she didn’t mean for any of this to happen. she never planned on becoming the other woman. but when it feels this good, how could it possibly be wrong?

playlist word count: 17.5k warnings: cheating fic, smut (explicit in the beginning, multiple vague references throughout), angst, bittersweet ending

written for @wyattjohnston's Summer Fic Exchange. to Celly (@cellythefloshie) with love.

Am I foolish for wanting this? It will end in flames, it always does. Maybe I like the way it feels to burn.

*~*~*~*~*

“Jules?”

Juliette Lucas can’t help but stiffen at the sound of the nickname. Not because of any traumatic memory or something of the sort. Unless you count the fact that the only person who ever called her that – her best friend from high school – left almost eight years ago without a word.

The person whose voice she could still hear in her sleep.

The same voice that was calling out to her from across the grocery store right now.

“Hey, Jules!”

She turns, muscles still tight with anticipation over seeing his face again. And there he is, Adam Lowry, jogging up to her from the other end of the breakfast aisle.

And, fuck, he looks hot. He was always attractive, even in high school but damn, the years had definitely been kind to him. Even in his simple joggers, plain navy t-shirt, and baseball cap, Juliette could see the muscle tone of his body. And the shadow cast across his face simply emphasized everything else: his strong jaw, the deep red of his facial hair, the bright blue of his eyes that were sparkling as he ran up to her.

“I look like shit right now.”

That irrational thought is the first clear present statement that echoes through her brain as she takes a quick glance down at her sweatpants and old tank top.

There is little time to worry however, because before Juliette knows it, Adam is front of her and the wind of his momentum ruffles her hair.

“Hey,” he says breathlessly, smiling down at her. “Long time no see.”

“That tends to happen when you move away to a different province,” she replies, trying not to give her words a cutting edge. Although, Juliette can see that she wasn’t entirely successful based on the subtle way Adam’s face falls.

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to visit but, y’know, life,” he attempts to explain, his hand reaching back to scratch the back of his neck. Juliette can’t stop the small smile that tugs at the corner of her lips, his nervous ticks the exact same ones he had back in high school.

A lot of things might have changed. But that didn’t mean the person standing in front of her was a stranger. It was Adam. Her Adam.

“It’s alright, I get it,” she replies, her voice softening. “Anyway, you’re here now. What brings you back to Calgary?”

“My dad was finally able to convince me to come up, mostly to see all the finished renovations they made on the lake house. And it looks really good. Although, I almost don’t recognize it which is weird considering all the summers we spent there, growing up.”

“Life moves on around you, whether you like it to or not,” Juliette laughs, knowing the feeling of time passing her by all too well.

“Speaking of life, how have you been Jules?”

“Oh, I’ve been alright. Nothing super new or exciting. Work is work, life is life. Same old, same old I’m afraid.”

“Well, considering the last time I really talked to you was eight years ago at graduation, I highly doubt everything is the same,” Adam teases and Juliette’s eyes roll at his jab.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know.”

There is a small pause as the two of them simply look at each other. It had been years and that time seemed to stretch in between them like and ocean. One too expansive to cross right now, here, in the middle of a grocery store.

“Well,” Juliette says, being the first to break the silence, “I got to finish shopping. Need to get home and get ready a party later tonight.”

“Charleen’s party, right?” Adam asks. The statement sort of catches Juliette off-guard as she fixes Adam a puzzled glance.

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“She invited me too.”

“You still talk to Charlie?”

“More like my parents still talk to her. She helped them with the renovation.”

“Right, her interior design business,” Juliette nods.

“Yeah, she was visiting today, going over a few last-minute details with my parents when I arrived and she invited me.”

“Cool. Well then, I guess I’ll see you there?”

Adam replies with a small nod which Juliette returns, grabbing her cart. She starts to turn away before Adam’s voice calls out to her again.

“Hey, Jules.”

She turns her head to look back at Adam and the pang in her heart is sharp and sudden as she takes in that smile, the one that shot her back to nights on her parent’s couch, his laugh echoing around the family room at whatever ridiculous movie he convinced her to watch.

“It was really good to see you again.” 

Juliette just returns his smile before turning away, hating the feeling of heat that crawls up her neck. She attempts to smother the thoughts and emotions that had been lying dormant, just long enough to finish her shopping.

After checking the last things off her list, paying, and packing up her Jeep, Juliette starts her drive home. And as the scenery passes her by, the memories come flooding back as fast as the wind.

He was back. Adam was back, after all these years. And his presence had awakened the feelings that Juliette thought she had banished long ago. It was beyond cliché, falling for her high school best friend. But in her defense, she never expected to. There was just one day when she realized that she wanted him as more than just a best friend.

Unfortunately, that realization came too late, arriving right before Adam was about to leave for Winnipeg to start his professional hockey career. She should have told him then, before he was gone. But she didn’t, out of fear of ruining their friendship and losing her best friend to something worse than distance. Something that couldn’t be recovered from.

But… she lost him anyway.

Juliette sighs, snapping herself out of her reverie as she pulls into her apartment complex. Her mind is still filled with static on the elevator ride up and the static remains as she puts her groceries away and starts to get ready for Charleen’s party.

After a quick shower and some makeup, Juliette finds herself standing in front of her closet, flipping through her clothes, attempting to find a suitable outfit for the festivities. It shouldn’t be this hard; it usually isn’t this difficult. But Juliette would be lying if she pretended not to know why she was struggling. It was Adam, once again.

She wanted to look nice. Nicer than just nice. She wanted to look beautiful, gorgeous, eye-catching, stunning. She wanted Adam to see how she had changed. She wanted Adam to want to talk to her.

Or, simply, she wanted Adam to want to want her.

When her hand lands on a dress buried in the depths of her closet, one that she had almost forgotten about and yet was everything she could’ve asked for, she slipped it on over her head.

“This is a shit idea.”

That’s the thought repeating in Juliette’s head as she turns, checking out her reflection in the full-length mirror next to her closet, head spinning with the implications of what she was planning.

“Listen,” Juliette thinks, attempting to assuage the nagging voice in the back of her mind. “It’s just a dress. That’s all. I just want to look good for this party. No other reason.”

That was a blatant lie. This tight red summer dress hugging her frame was for one reason – or more accurately, one person.

After seeing him again, knowing that he was once again back in Calgary, back in her life and she felt just as strongly about him as she did in high school… well, how could anyone pass up the opportunity?

So, yeah, maybe she should wear the sexiest dress she could to the party at Charleen’s lake house. Maybe then her and Adam could stop tiptoeing on this fucking tightrope or at least, she’d know if Adam felt the same way about her that she did.

And, hey, if that didn’t happen and he left for Winnipeg at the end of summer … at least she looks hot.

A sigh escapes Juliette as she gently shakes her head, her mind once again reiterating how stupid of an idea this was. But she is nothing if not committed – even to her most ridiculous ideas. So, with another sigh, she grabs her white denim jacket and car keys and leaves the apartment.

The drive to Charleen’s is quick and even though Juliette isn’t ridiculously late, cars are already lining the street outside. She manages to find a spot off to the side of the house and hops out of her Jeep, her eyes flicking over the other vehicles, wondering which one is Adam’s.

If he’s even here yet.

There’s another quick shake of her head, another silent admonishment about how desperate she was acting, before she walks up to the front door, not bothering to knock, knowing Charlie would have left it unlocked for the guests.

As soon as the door swings open, Juliette is welcomed in with the sound of music being played over speakers and the chatter of other people. She slips into the house, kicking off her shoes by the front door before wandering deeper until she is on the edge of the living room, looking out at the scene of multiple friends and acquaintances, all laughing and drinking.

“Julie!!”

The screech of joy comes from Elsie, who bounces over to Juliette sweeping her into a hug, her own long blonde hair tickling Juliette’s shoulders. Juliette laughs as she is spun around by the sheer force of Elsie’s hug.

“I’m so glad you made it!” Elsie continues shouting, drawing the attention of a few people around them.

“Hi, Elsie,” Juliette giggles into her friends embrace, finally pulling away and meeting her bright gaze. “It’s good to see you too.”

“A drink! You need a drink!” Elsie says, mind going a mile a minute as it always did, grabbing Juliette’s hand and drags her to the adjoining kitchen. “Charlie stocked everything but people have also brought their own drinks so there’s plenty to go around.”

Elsie’s words are confirmed as soon as the two of them enter the kitchen, Juliette’s eyes almost bugging out of her head at the various alcohol cans and bottles lining in the kitchen island.

“There’s also a keg outside.”

“Oh, god, how long until someone does a keg stand?” Juliette playfully grimaces, turning to Elsie who shares her laughter.

“Corey already tried to convince some people to do one but thankfully, we aren’t at that point yet. I think we are trying to keep it somewhat classy.”

“Oh yeah, a bunch of twenty-somethings in a cabin with a ton of alcohol is definitely how we keep it classy.”

“Okay, the important word in that sentence was trying,” Elsie laughs. Juliette just responds with a shake of her head before grabbing a vodka seltzer and following Elsie back into the living room.

For the next hour or so, Juliette spends her time greeting and catching up with old friends as well as being introduced to some people that she didn’t know; mostly new romantic partners but some friends of friends. It seemed as if Charleen managed to cram almost all of their old homeroom into her lake house and everyone invited brought at least two other people with them.

Eventually, Juliette settled down on one of the couches, talking to Elsie’s twin brother Evan. It is in the middle of their conversation with when she hears a commotion. And when she turns her eyes towards the noise, she sees Adam walking into the room, the grin on his face and a six pack of beer in each hand, a bunch of people cheering around him.

She can’t help the roll of her eyes and the shake of her head at his entrance.

“It’s like he’s the next coming of Christ,” Evan jokes to her, reading her reaction.

“The local celebrity graces us with his presence,” Juliette quips back, causing a laugh to fall from the blond. Although, even with her snarky words, Juliette can’t stop her eyes from jumping back to Adam as he wanders back into the room, a single beer in his hand and the plain white t-shirt highlighting the warmth of his skin and the strength of his body.

“Have you talked to him?” Evan asks, pulling her attention back to him.

“We actually ran into each other earlier today, at the grocery store of all places.”

“And how was that?”

“What do you mean?” Juliette asks, her eyebrows furrowing at Evan’s question.

“Come on, Julie. You two were practically attached at the hip in high school. He came over to our house with you almost as many times as you did alone.”

“Yeah, but that was years ago. He’s off doing bigger and better things. Probably doesn’t think about me that much anymore.”

“Did you recognize him earlier today at the store or did he recognize you?”

“He did…” she replies, the words trailing off as she tries to uncover Evan’s meaning.

“So, he recognized you after almost eight years. That’s a long time, Julie. Plus, judging by the way his eyes have been attached to you since he walked in, I think it’s safe to say he remembers you well enough.”

“What?”

Juliette’s head spins towards Adam and is immediately met with his blue eyes locked on her frame. Eventually, their eyes connect and Juliette watches as a smile breaks out on Adam’s face as he tips his beer towards her in a silent greeting.

Juliette lifts her hand up in a small wave and as soon as the motion happens, her hand flies back down and she tears her gaze away, only to be greeted with Evan’s smug face.

“Shut up,” she mutters, taking another drink of her seltzer, the skin on the back of her neck heating up at Evan’s laugh.

“My god, you still have a crush on him,” Evan says. “Oh, this is hilarious.”

“Shut up Evan.”

“Nah, this is great. Eight years and you’re still pining over him.”

“I am not pining over him.”

“It’s okay, I get it. He was pretty hot back then and he’s only gotten hotter with age. Fine wine and all that nonsense.”

The look that Juliette shoots Evan is one of bemusement as Evan glances over towards Adam before jumping back to her.

“What? I’m gay as shit, remember? Besides, even if I wasn’t, I’ve got eyes.”

“Well, then, why don’t you go and talk to him.”

“Not my type,” Evan replies dismissively causing another snorting laugh to fall from her mouth. When she looks back up to Evan, the expression on his face is still teasing but Juliette recognizes the sincerity underneath his features. “Just go and talk to him, Julie. Even if it’s just as an old friend.”

Evan’s advice bounces around her skull, the proposition sounding so easy and so effortless. But perhaps it was that simple. Maybe Juliette was the one making everything more complicated than it had to be, adding to much weight to a moment that would end up being inconsequential.

For what seemed like the hundredth time that evening, a heavy sigh escapes Juliette as she glances back towards Adam, whose attention was now directed to Marina and her new fiancé. She looks back at Evan, sitting patiently to see her next move.

“You’re like an annoying younger brother, you know that?” Juliette says, the playful tone lightening the blunt words.

“I’m technically older than you.”

“Yeah, yeah, technically,” Juliette says, lifting herself up off the couch, stretching her arms over her head.

“Go get him, tiger,” Evan quips, to which she replies with a quick middle finger thrown over her shoulder, an action which elicits another cackle from Evan as she walks away.

As she wanders into the kitchen, Juliette’s eyes scan over the assortment of alcohol laid out over the counters. The smart thing to do would be to grab another seltzer and nurse that for as long as possible. But she promised Evan that she would talk to Adam and if there was one thing she knew about Evan, he would continue to nag her until she did.

But considering the fluttering of her heart at the mere thought of holding a conversation with the man she still harbored feelings for, she knew she was going to need a stronger drink to help loosen her inhibitions at least a little bit. Just so she wouldn’t embarrass herself.

Although, drunk Juliette could be an embarrassment all on her own. It was a calculate risk.

One that, after a minute of thinking, Juliette decides to take. She grabs some random mixer and pours it into one of the cheap plastic cups that were stacked nearby. She is halfway through adding the vodka when, for the second time that day, Adam’s voice sounds from behind her.

“Do you remember that time your parents let us make our own drinks?”

The smile that comes to Juliette’s face is automatic as she continues to focus on her current task, replying without looking back.

“During the Labour Day barbeque? Of course.”

“I think they ended up regretting that idea later,” Adam says, the edge of his words painted with a breathy chuckle. Juliette also giggles, grabbing her drink before turning to see Adam standing on the other end of the island.

“That was just because someone heard if you mixed blue raspberry vodka with Mountain Dew of all things, it would taste like a Baja Blast.”

“Well, I mean, it did.”

“Yeah, and that was the problem!” Juliette laughs, shaking her head slightly at the still blurry memories of her and Adam acting like complete fools. “I still don’t remember how many of those we managed to drink before falling asleep on the couch in the basement.”

“It sure was a night,” Adam sighs, his eyes darting away, looking down at the half-eaten plates of snacks that Charleen had laid out earlier.

Juliette watches as he reaches out to take a carrot, trying not to get distracted by how elegant his fingers looked. Her attempt was quickly derailed as it took Adam clearing his throat to get her eyes to snap back to his. She has to push away the blush that she feels rising, hiding her face behind her cup as she takes another sip of alcohol.

Juliette half expects Adam to call her out on it, never one to pass up an opportunity to tease her. But he doesn’t. Instead, he once again shoots her that gentle smile and Juliette stops herself from taking another drink to quiet the pounding of her heart.

“What do you remember about the morning after?” Adam asks. His question causes another sigh of laughter to fall, his return to normal conversation giving her some relief.

“That I couldn’t eat for like a full 8 hours. As far as hangovers go, I never want to experience that again.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh, I’m sorry we don’t all have the tolerance of a professional athlete.”

“Hey, I wasn’t professional back then,” he retorts.

“Still an athlete,” Juliette sing-songs into her cup, the action making Adam chuckle and shake his head.  

“Fine, I’ll give you that.”

There’s another small pause and Juliette takes the chance to think over Adam’s words. The conversation had been pretty normal, reminiscing over the past as friends would, specifically a memory that was similar to the current situation. But there was one aspect of it that nagged at the back of her mind – a loose thread of sorts. And Juliette decides to tug at it.

“So, did you not wake up still drunk the morning after that Labour Day?”

“I mean, I was definitely hungover. But, uh, waking up the morning after with you curled up next to me… it made the splitting headache a little better.”

It takes a minute for Adam’s confession to register but when they finally do, Juliette has to smother the immediate surprise that his words bring.

Waking up next to you made it better.

The words spin around in Juliette’s head, burrowing into every crevice of her brain and stoking the flames of that every present spark of hope that was still burning after all this time.

Waking up next to you made it better.

The critical voice in her head chooses to speak up, telling Juliette that he didn’t confess to anything. Waking up with a hangover alone, or even with a complete stranger, would absolutely be worse than waking up to a friend.

“Shouldn’t have been that life-changing,” Juliette forces herself to say, attempting to brush off his words and pretending that they didn’t affect her as much as they did. “We’ve slept in the same bed before.”

“I know,” Adam replies, his own voice non-committal, his eyes once again falling away from her.

Another silence falls but this time, there is a tension with it. One that is suffocating and Juliette hates the feeling of it. Hates how it hangs. But she isn’t sure how to fix it. So, she does the one thing that she knows how to do.

Leave. Before things take a turn for the worse.

“Um,” she begins, calling Adam’s attention to her again and her words stick in her throat for a moment at the way his blue eyes pierce into hers. “I better be getting back. Evan was just about to tell me about his most recent terrible blind date.”

“Okay,” Adam replies. His eyes stay glued to Juliette’s body as she starts to walk towards the kitchen exit. “Talk to you later?”

“Of course,” Juliette hums, almost at the threshold to re-enter the living room. She is about to exit when Adam’s voice once again stops her.

“Hey, Jules?”

The nickname makes her turn back to look at Adam and a small trill is sent down her spine as she watched Adam’s gaze shamelessly rake up and down her body before their eyes lock again.

“You look really… pretty, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Juliette says, the compliment warming her from the inside. “You don’t look half-bad yourself,” she returns. A deep chuckle rumbles from Adam’s chest as he shakes his head, a move that was familiar to her; it was the response she always provoked from him whenever she did something amusing or embarrassing. Or both.

Juliette hightails it away from the kitchen, internally cringing at her awkward words before taking another hearty drink from her now half-empty glass.

If the night was going to continue like this, she was definitely going to be refilling her cup multiple times before the party was over. She spies Evan still on the couch, now talking to Thomas and Kristy. She darts over before sitting down next to him, listening to their conversation, both in order to calm her spinning mind and to join in.

It’s only a few seconds until there is a small lull in the conversation and that is when Evan shoots her a glance, one eyebrow raised in a silent question that Juliette doesn’t need him to voice to understand.

“Don’t even ask,” she mutters into her cup. Evan just gently bumps his shoulder against hers in reply and that casual ease is what finally allows her to relax, focusing on the talk around her and reorienting herself to the party that was filled with her friends.

As the party continues into the night, it slowly dwindles down. People take off, heading back to their own homes and families. The later it gets, the more the party shifts, from its previous riot to a more relaxed get-together. Eventually, Juliette finds herself lingering with the remaining guests, all of them huddled around the firepit constructed on the sandy lakeshore out back.

Juliette takes another sip from her cup now filled with water as she relaxes, listening to the chatter of those around her, breathing in the fresh air of the pines and feeling the cool sand beneath her bare feet.

She is so focused on the present moment that she doesn’t even notice Adam’s approach, didn’t see the way his eyes softened at the sight of her. The sound of him clearing his throat causes Juliette’s eyes to fly open, meeting his gaze in the low firelight.

“Is this seat taken?” Adam asks, gesturing to the empty expanse of the wooden log she was perched on.

“Not at all,” comes her easy reply, scooting over to allow Adam enough room to sit down. And Juliette cannot suppress the shiver that runs through her when Adam’s knee knocks against hers.

They sit there is silence for a moment, just the crackling of fire and the chit-chat of the people around them being the only noise in the night until Juliette breaks the silence.

“So, I hear you got a dog?”

“Yeah, Banks. He’s a golden retriever.”

Adam continues to talk about his new puppy, even going to show Juliette videos of Banks and his adorable retriever smile. The icebreaker leads them to finally take the time to catch up on their respective lives; careers, pets – or lack thereof in Juliette’s case, homes, and all the rest. Almost every detail, from the menial to the major.

Throughout the conversation, Juliette notices a few pauses in Adam’s speech; that he sometimes takes more time to tell her things that don’t seem complicated. Like he’s hiding something. Like he doesn’t want her to see all of him.

She hates it. Because even though there was still a small flame of attraction for Adam, she would be fine with just having her best friend back – the one that was never afraid to tell her exactly how he felt.

Which is what leads her to press a little further.

“So, life’s been good in Winnipeg?” she asks, leaning closer to Adam to really hear his answer

“Yeah. I mean, haven’t gotten everything I wanted yet but it’s still pretty good,” he replies, shooting her a small smile. She doesn’t have time to pry more before Adam deflects the conversation back to her. “How about you?”

“Eh, still figuring things out. But I have plenty of time to decide where I want my life to go.”

“You were always really good at that; just letting things happen naturally.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Juliette laughs, shaking her head lightly. “I think I’m just really good at disguising my true emotions which makes it seem like I’m easy-going.”

“Really? How so?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Like… relationships or dating for example. It’s easy for me to flirt with people I’m not really interested in. It’s easy because I know I’m never going to let them get too close to me. I don’t have to try so hard to be the girl they want me to be because… I was never planning on being their girl anyway,” she explains, the lingering alcohol in her veins loosening her tongue. She looks at Adam, watching as her words sink in, his brow furrowing.

“Was that true back in high school?” Adam asks. “Like, when you were dating Pierce, you weren’t actually interested in him?”

A small shocked movement goes through Juliette, surprised that Adam even remembered the guy she dated back then. She doesn’t linger on the knowledge that Adam didn’t seem to forget, even after eight years, choosing instead to shrug her shoulders before replying.

“He wasn’t looking for anything serious. And it was nice to have someone.”

Juliette doesn’t tell him that back then, Pierce offered her more than just a warm bed. He was also a placeholder, someone to help her suppress her feelings towards Adam. In a way, she had been disguising herself for years.

Her eyes jump back to Adam, who is staring into the fire pit, seemingly deep in thought. Juliette waits for him to speak, even though every second that passes feels like torture and the anxiety starts to gnaw at the frayed edges of her mind. Eventually, Adam looks back at her and there it is – that pang in her heart.

Because he’s looking at her with those soft eyes. An expression that she had seen only occasionally back when they were kids. An expression she never thought she’d see again.

“You know you don’t have to try with me, right?”

Juliette hears the words but they don’t fully register, don’t fully connect at first. She lets out a somewhat dismissive laugh, nudging Adam’s thigh with her knee.

“Yeah, that’s why we’re friends,” she giggles, glancing away as she takes another sip of water. There’s another small pause and Juliette thinks that that is the end of it. But then she feels the warmth of Adam’s palm envelop her knee, the touch causing her eyes to snap back towards him. His expression had shifted – still soft but there is a hardened sense of earnestness underneath it.

“No, I mean, you don’t have to try.”

The words are repeated, nothing new said. But it’s the way he says it that causes Juliette’s heart to skip a beat. The chill from the lake disappears as the heat floods her body. But unfortunately, while the heat comes in full force, so does the anxiety.

Why was he saying this? Did he really mean it? Did he know how she felt? Does he feel the same?

These questions and more spin around in her mind, rendering her silent, her eyes just wide and still, staring at Adam. She barely registers the shift in his own expression, her silence no doubt causing some doubt of his own to enter his mind.

“Jules…”

“I don’t want to hear this.”

The thought comes over her in an instant, cutting through the rest of the static in her brain. Whether he was going to comfort her, or rescind his words, or try to explain them more, she didn’t want to hear it.

“I need to get more water,” she mumbles, the words fall past her lips in a jumble of syllables, barely coherent. But it didn’t really matter when they were accompanied by the speed in which she lifted herself up, retreating back into the now empty house and into the kitchen. And as she fills up her cup again, her confusion resurfaces.

What the fuck was happening?

Was Adam trying to pick her up? Is that what that meant? And if so, why was she so scared of it? That’s what she wanted. That’s the reason she wore this dress. The reason she was here.

So, if it worked, if her efforts paid off, why was she running away?

Because it had never worked before. Not with any of the guys in the past eight years. It didn’t even work with Adam back in high school. Sure, she didn’t tell him outright that she wanted more back then. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t drop hints to him, hoping that he would understand them and take that first step himself. But he remained oblivious for those last few months and then he was gone.

And of course, now – now after years of not talking – he finally reciprocates. And that was terrifying.

It was easy not to be wanted, to be casual, to be friends. Nothing was real; there was no risks and no consequences to unrequited feelings. But now… if she took that step with Adam, whatever tenuous strand of friendship that they were still clinging to would be irrevocably shifted and changed.

What the fuck was she going to do?

Juliette heaves a sigh, walking out of the kitchen, debating on what her next step should be. Should she take the leap? Pretend Adam’s words didn’t tangle her in knots like they did? Fully run away by hopping in her car without saying goodbye?

Perhaps unfortunately for her, Juliette doesn’t have the chance to make the final decision. Because when she enters the living room, looking up from her glass, Adam is standing there waiting for her.

“Jules,” he starts, taking a step towards her.

“Please stop calling me that.”

“Why?”

“No one ever calls me that,” Juliette explains, her voice dismissive as she takes another sip of her drink, still trying to settle the pounding of her heart.

“No one? Not one other person has ever called you Jules? A friend? A boyfriend? No one?” Adam asks, taking a step towards her after every single question until he is standing in front of her, his body towering over her.

“No one,” she confirms, her voice faltering with the nerves still thrumming through her body.

“Only me?”

Juliette takes a deep breath, steeling herself for the words she was about to speak, knowing that they would be more of a confession than anything else she could possibly say. It takes a moment before her hazel eyes open, connecting to him.

“That nickname has only ever been for you.”

The words hang in the air between them and Juliette watches as they register on Adam’s face and her heart pangs when that soft, gentle smile appears on his face; a smile that was always reserved for her. Her heartbeat doesn’t settle when Adam’s hand lifts up to brush away the loose curl from Juliette’s forehead, his finger twirling around the strand before placing it behind her ear. His fingers don’t stray far as they move to brush along her jawline and she knows Adam can see the goosebumps his touch causes.

“What else is only mine?” Adam questions, his voice dropping impossibly deeper as his face moves closer towards Juliette’s.

“Do you really have to ask?”

“I need you to say it, Jules. Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

This was the moment. There was more delaying, no time for hesitation. It was time for a decision. One that felt impossible for Juliette to make. But then Adam’s thumb brushes against her cheek, pulling her attention away from her thoughts and back to him.

“Don’t overthink it, Jules. It’s okay,” he whispers, his voice as delicate as his touch. “You don’t have to try with me, remember?”

It’s those words that cause that last wall to come crashing down, a shuddering breath running through Juliette. She closes her eyes, digging deeply for the strength to speak the truth that she had known for a long time.

“I am, Adam. Only yours. I think I always have been.”

Juliette’s response is enough for Adam to finally close the gap between them, his lips coming to press against hers. And even though Juliette could see the kiss coming, the feeling of it – the reality of it – still made her almost drop her glass.

Because Adam was kissing her. He was actually kissing her.

It’s Juliette that deepens the kiss, pushing up on her toes to press her body closer to Adam, relishing the groan that escapes him as his hands fly to her hips in order to keep her body pinned to his. Somehow, Juliette manages to find some flat surface nearby to set down her cup and as soon as the cheap plastic is out of her hands, they fly up to tangle in Adam’s hair, kisses never ceasing.

It feels like an eternity before Adam finally pulls away from her and Juliette’s eyes reconnect with his, registering the dark black of his pupils almost swallowing the bright blue of his irises.

There aren’t any words spoken between the two of them as Adam steps back. There was no time to speak before he is taking her hand in his and leading her down the hallway. Juliette was still trying to piece her mind back together after the dizzying kiss that she doesn’t protest as Adam drags her along, doesn’t question when Adam leads her up the stairs and into the second-floor bathroom.

She definitely doesn’t complain when Adam locks the door behind him and pulls her back into his arms, their lips connecting again. Adam uses his strong body to push Juliette against the sink countertop, a chill rushing down her spine as the cool marble hits the back of her bare thighs.

Adam’s hands are all over her body, pulling her closer to him, pressing her frame against his. A gasp falls from Juliette when Adam’s hands cup the back of her legs, lifting her up onto the countertop with an ease that sends another rush of heat down to her core.

Eventually, Adam’s lips fall from her own and begin to move across her jawline, down the smooth expanse of her throat. Juliette can’t help the way her hips roll when Adam pauses against her neck, sucking a hickey into her pale skin with a fierceness that is exquisite in its sting. Adam moves again, his lips trailing down across her collarbones, dancing across the top of her cleavage, before he pulls away to flick his eyes back up to hers.

“What else is only for me, Jules?” he asks, reiterating the question that led them here. “Is this dress for me?”

There is no hesitancy as Juliette’s response comes in an empathetic nod of her head. A whine escapes her as Adam’s fingers deftly trace along the neckline and she can hear him moan at the sight of her nipples straining through the fabric.

“Only wore it so you could take it off,” Juliette murmurs, slightly shocked at how Adam was able to pull the truth from her so effortlessly. The only response Adam gives is a low chuckle, his hands moving up to momentarily play with the thin straps between his fingers before he oh so painstakingly slides them off her shoulders.

Juliette lets him pull the fabric down, exposing her bare chest to the harsh light of the bathroom, another groan falling from his lips at the sight of her.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he mutters before moving forward, his lips resuming their former place against her sternum, now free to roam further down. A soft moan escapes Juliette as Adam’s lips close around her nipple, teasing it and causing another involuntary roll of her hips. Adam pauses on her chest for a moment, to give both of her breasts an ample amount of attention before continuing to move his lips down, over the ridges of her ribs.

“What are you – ” Juliette attempts to ask as he sinks to his knees in front of her but the question is quickly cut off when Adam’s strong hands pull apart her thighs and his soft lips connect to the delicate skin.

“What do you think I’m doing?” he whispers again her inner thighs, lips slowly moving further up. “Tell me what else is mine, Jules.”

The shiver that runs through Juliette’s body is in response to Adam’s movements, her legs opening wider both to give him access and as a silent plea. If Adam notices, he doesn’t take the bait, his lips lingering just inches from where she wants him.

“What else?” he asks and a shuddering breath falls from Juliette as one of his hands sneaks up towards the soft grey cotton of her thong, the fabric flooding with her need as Adam presses a finger against her slit.

“Is this all for me?” he continues, his touch moving upwards to rub her clit, pulling a whine from Juliette as her hips jolt forwards once more. “Tell me Jules,” Adam softly demands, his movements never stopping. “What else is mine?”

“I am,” Juliette whispers, the words coming out shaky, not only due to the feeling of Adam’s fingers against her but also the lingering anxiety that laced itself between the syllables. Adam manages to hear that hesitancy within her voice and he tears himself away, looking up to lock his eyes with hers once more.

“I’m yours, Adam,” she continues, the gentle expression on his face calming her, allowing the truth to be spoken with ease. “All of me.”

Adam doesn’t give Juliette a verbal response but she can see the shift in his expression as he takes in her words, sees his lips uptick in a smile. He raises his body up slightly to allow Juliette to close the gap between them, pulling him into another kiss, her hands tangling in his hair once more. She moans into his mouth as she feels his hands sneaking underneath the hemline of her dress and finding the elastic waistband of her panties, pulling away from her lips as he pulls the fabric away from her core.

He shoots a quick smirk up at her before his large hands are pushing her thighs even further apart, the movement causing the bottom of her dress to slip up over her hips. Juliette barely has time to react before Adam’s head is ducking down again, his lips retracing their movement against her inner thighs until they finally, finally, connect with her core.

The sharp gasp that leaves Juliette’s mouth is the only sound that escapes as her hands tighten in his hair, pulling him impossibly deeper into her, an action that sends a chuckle rumbling from Adam’s chest, the vibration of it sending another jolt through Juliette.

The whines and moans only increase as Adam continues to move, his tongue dipping into her folds, groaning at her taste. His lips eventually wander up to wrap around her clit and the way he sucks, the way his tongue flicks over the sensitive bundle of nerves almost causes Juliette to come undone.

“Oh fuck,” Juliette moans, hips rolling up to chase Adam’s lips.

“Yeah? Just like that?” comes Adam’s questioning voice before he repeats the movement, another high-pitched whimper falling from Juliette. “Come on sweetheart. I want you to cum for me.”

His simple request and the repeated motion of his mouth against her is all it takes for that peak to come crashing over Juliette, thighs tightening around Adam’s head before his hands lift to hold them open as his mouth continues its movements, eagerly lapping up her release, the vibration of his own groans causing her orgasm to be prolonged.

The crest eventually subsides, leaving Juliette’s still exposed chest heaving as Adam’s lips move back to kiss at the apex of her thighs. But before the desire completely disappears, before Juliette is slammed back into the reality of where she was and what just happened, another moan is pulled past her lips as Adam’s hand sneaks between her legs, his fingers once again coming to press against her slit, this time unobstructed.

“Fuck Jules, you feel so fucking good,” he groans into her soft skin, a finger plunging into her core, the welcomed intrusion sending another flush of heat through her body, no doubt painting her chest a more mottled scarlet than before.

“Adam,” she whines, the hand still tangled in his hair tugging him upwards. He obliges, lifting himself off his knees but still keeps his hand between her thighs, one finger pumping into her core before he slides another in.

The moan that escapes from Juliette is swallowed quickly by Adam crashing his lips back to hers, kissing her deeply as he continues his movements. Juliette breaks away from the kiss when Adam curls his fingers within her, the motion causing him to graze over that one spot that had her seeing stars. Adam reads her reaction with ease and is smart enough to repeat the motion, causing another delectable moan to fall from her.

Juliette’s eyes jump down to stare at Adam’s arms, taking in the the way his veins became more prominent with every motion, her moans becoming erratic as Adam once again brings her closer and closer to her peak. Without thinking, the hand that had she had been using to support her body flew to wrap around Adam’s forearm, as if to silently beg him to keep it there. It was an additional bonus for her to feel his muscles flex as his fingers continued move within her.

“That’s right darling,” Adam sighs out, his breath hot against the shell of her ear. “Give me another one. Prove to me that you’re all mine.”

His sudden possessiveness is what drives Juliette over the edge again, her second orgasm crashing over her. The feeling of her clenching around Adam’s fingers pulls a groan from him, one he muffles by burying his mouth into the junction of Juliette’s neck and shoulder, his lips and teeth marking her once more.

It takes a moment for both of them to catch their breath before Adam is pulling away, his hands and body retreating from Juliette’s. He doesn’t stray far, only taking one step back and Juliette can’t help but bask in the way his eyes rake over her still exposed body.

Juliette appraises him similarly, eyes jumping down to the bulge in his jeans. That sight renews her hunger as she slides off the countertop, not bothering to adjust anything before sinking to her knees in front of Adam. Her hands crawl up his thick thighs towards his belt buckle. She barely has the chance to start to undo the leather when Adam’s hands reach down and halt her movements.

“No Jules,” Adam says. “Not here.”

“But I want to,” she replies, looking up at him, her eyes still blown wide in pure need.

Adam reaches down to cup her face and Juliette leans into his touch, his large palm almost covering her entire cheek. Adam holds out his other hand to her and there is only a moment before Juliette places her hand in his. He pulls her off the tile floor, not waiting even a millisecond before pulling her into him again, lips crashing together. Juliette wraps her arms around him, reveling in the way he touches her and kisses her until she feels drunk. Adam eventually breaks away, his warm breath fanning over her cheeks.

“Let me take you home, Jules.”

Juliette response is an assured nod, desperation still fueling her actions and Adam can’t stop the small laugh that escapes him. Juliette feels his hands moving against her but this time, it’s to pull the hem of her dress down, covering her. She pulls the top half back over her chest and reaches for the denim jacket, oh so carelessly left on the bathroom counter. But when she pulls the fabric back over her shoulders, her keys fall out of the pocket and onto the tile with a clatter, reminding her of a small snag in their plan.

“Wait, we came here separately,” she says, halting Adam at the doorway. “And I’m not about to try and explain why I’m leaving my car here.”

“Right. Fuck, um,” Adam says, pausing with his hand on the handle, his free hand coming to run through his hair. “Do you want to lead the way?” he asks, looking back at her.

“Back to my place?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “I mean, only if you want to.”

Juliette smiles, slowly walking over to him. She slides between him and the still closed door before lifting herself up to connect their lips again. Adam happily melts into the kiss, pressing her against the solid wood. Juliette lets her hands wander down, once again dancing over Adam’s belt buckle before dipping a little lower and she can’t help the satisfied feeling that rushes through her when Adam breaks from the kiss with a groan as she gently palms him through his jeans.

“If we leave now, we can be there in 15,” she says, not halting her movements as she captures Adam’s lips in hers again. This time, Adam voluntarily pulls away, reaching down to stop her hands before grinning back at her.

“You gonna break the speed limit?”

“Are you?”

Adam’s immediately grabs Juliette’s hips, pulling her into his body before lifting her feet off the tile, spinning her away from the door. She gasps at the ease in which he could maneuver her, the heat once again moving through her body at the possibilities his strength could provide as the night went on. Adam leans in to press a quick kiss onto her lips before moving back, his eyes heavy as he looks down at her.

“I don’t want to be away from you any longer than I have to,” he says, turning the handle and holding the door open for Juliette. She steps through, looking back at Adam with a mischievous smirk.

“Just don’t get pulled over.”

*~*~*~*~*

The morning sunlight shines through the cracks in Juliette’s white curtains, hitting her closed eyes. The concentrated beam causes her eyelashes to flutter open, softly groaning as she burrows deeper into her sheets. As she does, the weight of another shifts and Juliette’s eyes open to see Adam sleeping peacefully, the sun causing his hair to alight in a beautiful auburn.

Last night…

It was everything that Juliette could’ve wanted; everything she could’ve dreamt it to be. Adam made her feel… everything. All those thoughts and emotions that she had been holding back for ages, he brought forth with the touch of his hands on her skin.

He made her feel desired. He told her as much. And she had told him that she was his.

But words said in the heat of passion may not hold in the harsh light of day.

They needed to talk. Actually sit down and have a conversation about everything that had happened, every word said.

The conviction in her mind makes Juliette sit upright in bed, the covers falling from her body as she stretches her arms over her head. Perhaps she would make breakfast, or order in, or something. Food always seemed to help hard conversations become a little easier.

Juliette swings her legs over the edge of the mattress and right as her feet hit the floor, she hears the vibration of Adam’s phone rattling against the wood of her nightstand. She quickly circles the bed, intending to hit the lock button to silence what she assumes to be an alarm, as to not disturb him. Let him rest a little longer. But when the screen comes into view, she sees that it is not an alarm, but a Facetime call attempting to come through.

And when Juliette’s brain registers the picture and caller ID on the screen, her heart stops beating.

She doesn’t move, just stares at the phone as it continues to ring, memorizing the face of the girl wrapped in Adam’s arms in the image plastered on the screen; the blonde of her hair, her smile. The two hearts framing her caller ID.

The phone eventually silences but before Juliette can take another breath, a text message pops up.

Betty You’re probably still asleep. I forget that you’re in a different time-zone. Hope you had fun at the party! Call me whenever you wake up! Love you! Message received May 27th at 8:41am

Juliette doesn’t move; her feet feeling like stone weights, her heart collapsing in on itself like a dying star. She is so stuck in the moment where everything she thought she knew shifted on its axis that she barely registers the rustling of sheets next to her, the gentle groan of Adam rousing from his sleep.

“Morning,” Adam mumbles and Juliette can hear him turn his body towards her. But she doesn’t look at him, just keeps her eyes locked to the phone, her mind racing with the truth that Adam withheld.

He lied to her. He made her an accomplice in his infidelity. Turned her into something she never wanted to be. The temptress, the mistress, the other woman.

“Jules?”

There’s that fucking nickname again, falling from his lips and Juliette doesn’t want to acknowledge the ache in her heart when she hears him say her name like that. Because she knows that she would do anything he asked if he would just say it again.

She clenches her jaw and finally tears her eyes away from the nightstand, moving to look at Adam laying in the messy sheets. And when her hazel eyes connect to his, she wishes she could erase the feeling of desire that comes rushing to the surface.

Because he is not hers to want.

She knows that now.

“Who’s Betty?”

The words echo around her bedroom and Juliette can feel them hanging in the air as she watches Adam’s brow furrow before the realization drops. And he looks as if he’s been shot.

“Good,” she thinks. He should feel disgusted for what he did. For lying to her. For leading her on.

“Jules, I can explain,” Adam begins but Juliette cuts him off with a scoff.

“You can explain? Explain what, Adam? That you –”

Juliette spins away from him, her hand coming up to her mouth. She didn’t want to say the words, didn’t want to speak the truth into existence. But there was no avoiding this.

“Who is she?” she asks again, not bothering to turn around to face Adam again, instead choosing to stare out the window at the rising sun, not caring if the light caused her eyes to water. The tears would’ve come eventually. Better to blame it on something else instead of the feeling of her heart shattering.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Adam confesses, his voice soft with defeat.

Another scoff falls from Juliette as her lips purse, her head slightly shaking. Her arms cross in front of her stomach as she continues to look forward. She tries to ignore the sound of Adam sliding out from underneath her sheets, the gentle sound of his footsteps crossing the short distance between them, the heat of his body behind her. She ignores it until she can’t, when his hands slide across her arms before stopping over hers, holding her in his embrace.

She should push him off her, throw him out of her house and her life. But she doesn’t. She doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, barely breathes.

She just waits. Waits for him to speak. To tell her. Tell her what exactly, she isn’t sure. Because she knows that any word out of his mouth would just plunge the knife deeper.

The silence lasts for a long moment, neither of them brave enough to make the first move. Until Juliette feels Adam’s hands shift, moving to her biceps, gently gripping them.

“Jules, look at me. Please.”

She tries to resist the pull of him, not just the physical pull but the tug of her heart, begging her to listen even though her mind knew better. Eventually, she turns, her eyes closing, wanting to hold off on staring into those beautiful blue eyes.

It’s the gentle touch of his fingers against her chin that finally forces her eyes to flutter open. She can see his expression shift as he registers the tears on her cheeks and the blankness in her gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he says and Juliette can’t help the small huff of laughter that escapes as her eyes move away for a quick moment before coming back to his.

“For what? Sorry for what?”

“For not telling you,” Adam begins and – in a reaction that was long overdue – Juliette feels her sad numbness finally shift into anger.

“You’re damn right you should’ve told me!” she says, tearing her arms away from him and pacing to the other side of her bedroom. “What, did you think I would be okay with this? Do you think I wanted this?”

“You wanted this last night,” Adam mutters and the words sink in, causing the fire in Juliette to blaze higher, another scoff falling from her lips.

“Don’t you dare try to pin this on me. I’m not the one who fucked someone else while they’re girlfriend was waiting for them two provinces away!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that! Stop apologizing to me like that’s going to fix everything. What the fuck were you thinking, Adam?”

“You want to know what I was thinking?” he says, turning towards her with a fierceness in his eyes that makes Juliette take a step back. “I was thinking; here’s this girl that I had been friends with for years, that looks more beautiful than she did the last day I saw her, and that looks like she wants me just as much as I want her.”

It takes a moment for his words to break through the fire that surrounded Juliette but when they finally do sink in, it smothers the blaze as quickly as it came.

Because it feelslike he is telling her the truth. The words he spoke… they don’t feel hollow. They don’t feel like words he spewed just to assuage her, to calm her. They feel real. But then again, so did last night.

Juliette doesn’t respond, just stays in place, letting her silence stretch until Adam takes it as a sign to continue.

“Betty and I…” Adam starts, the sentence trailing off as he tries to put his thoughts in order. “I care about her. I do. And I know it might not seem like it based on, well, everything. But when I saw you again… I don’t know if I can explain it. Something hit me, like I was seeing you for the first time.”

Adam takes a step towards Juliette, his footsteps delicate against the hardwood of her bedroom floor. He approached her cautiously, as if she was a wounded animal backed into a corner. Which she very well might be, based on how razor-thin close she was to shattering.

“I thought that I would die if I didn’t have you.”

Juliette can feel the tears start to well in her eyes and she tries to push them down. But it is futile as Adam’s voice continues to gently call, his hand moving to reach out to her.  

“Jules. My Jules.”

“Don’t.”

“Please.”

“Adam… don’t,” she repeats, the words growing thick with all the emotions that she had suppressed for so long. She feels the first teardrop fall the second that Adam grabs her hand, his touch pulling an involuntary reaction from her, like it did last night underneath her bedsheets.

“It’s always been you. I’m sorry it took me this long to see it.”

His confession finally causes the damn to break open and it is purely instinctive, the way she collapses into his outstretched arms, her tear-stained cheeks pressing against his still bare chest.

Juliette isn’t sure about the meaning behind her tears, her mind too jumbled to make sense of anything except the feeling of Adam’s strong arms holding her tight. He doesn’t speak; he just lets the emotions pour out, his lips burrowed in her hair. 

There is no denying how wrong this situation is. Nothing would erase the newfound discovery of Adam’s girlfriend waiting in Winnipeg, waiting for a call back. But right now, Juliette can’t seem to find it in herself to care.

Because although she isn’t sure what is true… this, here, being in Adam’s arms feels right.

And if it feels this good, how could it possibly be wrong?

Eventually, Juliette’s tears run out, leaving her only with small sniffles and red eyes. Adam is still holding her, one of his hands running calming circles against her spine. It takes a moment for her to gather enough to strength to push away from him, although she doesn’t go far, content to stay encased in his arms.

“So,” she speaks, brushing away any lingering wetness from her cheeks before looking up towards Adam. “What are we going to do?”

Her heart shouldn’t leap at the sight of a grin breaking out on Adam’s face. But like every reaction that Adam pulls from her, she isn’t sure that she would’ve been able to stop it.

“What do you want me to do? Or need me to do?”

“I mean, breaking up with your girlfriend would be a good start,” Juliette says, trying to infuse some light-hearted teasing into her words. An ease that is quickly squashed by Adam’s response.

“I can’t. Not now.”

“But you said –” she starts, her eyebrow furrowing in confusion before Adam cuts her off, an explanation waiting on his lips.

“I know. And I promise, you are the only one I want, I swear. But I do care about Betty. I can’t just break it off with her over a phone call while she’s a thousand kilometers away. That wouldn’t be fair.”

“So, what does that mean for us, now? Am I just supposed to go on with my life after everything you told me? Are we supposed to go back to how it was before yesterday; when I tried to forget you and you did the same?”

“I never forgot about you,” Adam says, his head ducking down to kiss her but Juliette turns her head before he can.

“You know what I mean, Adam,” she says, sending him a serious look indicating that she wasn’t about to let this go that easily. Adam sighs, shaking his head while shooting her a small smile.

“Always so stubborn,” he murmurs. “There is no way we are going back to never talking. I’m not letting you go that easily, especially now that I finally have you.”

“So, what are we going to do?”

Another sigh escapes Adam’s chest as he looks up towards the ceiling in thought. Juliette waits patiently, wanting him to take the reins in this situation. Especially considering that this… thing was his idea.

“I think it’s best that we keep this,” he says, pulling her closer to emphasize the meaning behind his words, “private. There’s no way I’m not spending another night in your bed for the rest of the summer.”

The sultry cadence of his words causes a rush of heat to rise to Juliette’s cheeks, her head turning away shyly. Or attempting to turn away before Adam catches her chin, pulling her attention back towards his.

“But we can obviously hang out together. Like we did back in high school. No reason that what we do behind these four walls would change how we act outside of them. How’s that sound?”

The question is directed towards Juliette and she lets the proposition sink in, tearing it over in her head. She would be lying if she said she didn’t have reservations. The proposal was an affair – there was no other word that better defined it. But Adam didn’t frame it like that. It was a necessary but temporary situation. Nothing more.

Juliette isn’t sure what makes her shake her head in agreement. If it was desire or fear or desperation. But she doesn’t get a chance to examine the driving emotion further. Because as soon as she gives her silent answer, that smile appears on Adam’s face, the fingers underneath her chin lifting her head up to meet his eyes.

“I promise Jules,” he whispers against her lips. “Just a few months. And then I can be yours completely.”

And when he seals his vow with a kiss to her lips, the only thing that Juliette can put into words is how good it feels to have him right now.

*~*~*~*~*

The summer drifts by and sometimes, Juliette finds her mind drifting with it.

Her and Adam continue their affair. Juliette hates thinking about it like that but there was no other way to describe it. She knew about Betty, about the girl waiting back in Winnipeg for Adam, about the girl who had claimed the spot of partner in Adam’s life long before she did. Juliette doesn’t like to think about Betty though, often banishing any thought of her from her mind. Because thinking about Betty would mean acknowledging her own role in this – the other woman.

But it’s easy to forget whenever her and Adam are alone.

Adam is intoxicating: the way he touches her, the way he kisses her. The hours she spends with him are exhilarating; stolen moments in his car, kisses shared in secrecy behind garden fences and in secluded hallways, evenings in her room with their hips moving in tandem, mornings when Adam dips beneath her covers and looks up at her, grinning like devil from between her thighs.

The voice in the back of Juliette’s mind remains, occasionally speaking up, telling her this is going to end – badly. That she is walking a treacherous path and eventually, she’s going to pay for the missteps that she is making.

However, that voice gets weaker and weaker as the summer goes on.

Because the way Adam treats Juliette… it’s not temporary. Or at least, it doesn’t feel like it is temporary. He doesn’t act like she is some summer fling, something to illicit excitement for a few months and then abandon as soon as the weather turns cold.

No, Adam treats her like this is it, like this is the one romance that he always wanted.

It was dangerous, falling for him again. It left her with nothing but heartache the last time, pining after him: the one that got away.

But then he came back. Fate brought him back to her and he was here now. He was next to her and he was telling her all the things she dreamed about hearing. His sweet words drowned out everything in her mind that was screaming at her, telling her this was wrong.

Because how could it be?

When she woke up next to him, watching the sunlight dance over his skin…

When he wrapped his arms around her and held her close…

When he told her that she was the only one for him…

How could any of that be wrong?

Yes, there were moments where she didn’t want to leave the comfort of the sheets that she and Adam were tangled in. Because leaving the privacy of her bedroom walls meant pretending that he didn’t send a fire burning through her with every look, every touch. And sometimes, she got tired of pretending. Juliette wanted to be able to hold his hand while they were walking down the street, wanted to kiss him in front of their friends, wanted to show the world that he was hers.

But Adam always soothed her, told her that this was the only part of their summer romance that was temporary. She just had to wait a little longer. Just until he saw Betty in person.

Just a few more months.

*~*~*~*~*

The cool breeze blowing in from the lake ruffled Juliette’s hair, the curls still damp and her skin still warm. Adam always loved to kiss the freckles that appeared on her cheeks after the hours she spent in the sun and Jules loved the feeling of his lips on her skin.

She wanted to feel them again.

They had spent the day at the lake with their friends and it was fun and enjoyable. It sent Juliette back to those high school summers where everything was simpler. Sometimes she still found herself wanting to go back there because maybe then she would be braver. Maybe she would’ve told Adam how she felt before he went away.

Juliette feels the warmth of a palm appear on the bare skin of her thigh and her eye dart from the passing woods to Adam’s profile, sitting behind the wheel as he drives her back to his house.

Maybe she could’ve been braver. But he was here now and that was all that mattered.

They had to pretend for the entire day, keeping a friendly distance from each other, only giving into the rising temptation in the backseat of Adam’s car parked in a secluded spot by the lakeshore after all their friends had left. Juliette still wanted more, not quite satisfied. Sometimes it didn’t feel like enough. But these stolen moments… they were enough right now.

And every touch Adam placed against her skin was weighted with the promise of something more to come as soon as the night took hold.

But they would have to pretend for a little longer – long enough to sit through a dinner with Adam’s mother, father, and brother Joel, along with Elsie and Evan. Just like old times.

Juliette is snapped out of her reverie by Adam pulling into his driveway, putting the car in park before smiling over to her.

“Ready?” he asks. Juliette lets out a hum, her eyes darting towards the front door, knowing as soon as they stepped over that threshold, their masks of ‘just friends’ would have fall back into place. Her eyes return to Adam, a playful glint reflecting in them.

“I don’t know if I want to let you go yet.”

Adam doesn’t hesitate in responding to her stalling by leaning over the center console, his hand coming to grip the back of her neck and pulling her close, pressing his lips against hers. She willingly surrenders to the kiss, pushing her body towards him, her hand lifting to grip his wrist and hold him in place. Juliette breaks the kiss, pulling away before nuzzling her head into Adam’s palm, looking up at him with her best bedroom eyes.

The shudder runs through her body as she hears Adam exhale, her lips twitching upwards in delight, loving the response that she could pull from him.

“We’ll stay for two hours, tops,” Adam says, his own darkening eyes dancing over her frame and Juliette can almost see the pictures flashing through Adam’s mind, her own body heating with anticipation.

“I’m holding you to that,” she whispers before fully removing herself from Adam’s touch, opening the car door and slipping out. She doesn’t wait for him as she walks up the front porch steps, swinging open the door and kicking off her slides before following the sounds of conversation, leading her to the kitchen.

When she rounds the corner, her eyes gloss over the scene quickly, noticing Elsie standing next to Adam’s mom by the stove and Evan talking to his dad Dave over on the couch. Juliette is about halfway into the room when the back door opens and Joel walks in, holding an empty platter and tongs with Elsie following closely behind him.

“Wait, Elsie?”

If Elsie was outside then who was –

“Adam! Guess who decided to pop in unexpectedly.”

It’s his mom Elaine that speaks and Juliette knows that behind her, Adam has just stepped into the kitchen. And when the blonde that was standing next to Elaine turns, the blonde that Juliette originally mistook for Elsie, there was no mistaking who it was.

Her face had haunted Juliette even since that morning in late May.

“Betty?”

Hearing her name fall from Adam’s lips feels like a gut-punch but Juliette forces herself to turn and watch as Betty jogs over to him. She tries not flinch when Betty jumps into his arms and Adam easily lifts her up. And it is only a moment before she presses her lips against his.

Juliette barely registers the scattered clapping coming from Adam’s family and their friends over the sentimental reunion and she shakes herself out of her shock just enough to politely join in. Her eyes stay glued onto Adam as he and Betty untangle, the smile pulled across his face, his blue eyes shining bright.

It looks so convincing.

“Surprise!” Betty giggles, holding her hands up in joy. “Miss me?”

“Of course, I did,” he replies, his hands resting on her hips pulling her into another hug, Betty’s head pressed against his chest. It is only then does his eyes dart over towards Juliette and she tries to keep her face as neutral as possible, not wanting to reveal any emotion that would complicate this now dangerous situation they found themselves in.

“How are you here?” Adam asks as Betty pulls away.

“A work trip. Not here, up in Edmonton but I decided to take an extended weekend to come surprise you.”

“Well, consider me very surprised,” Adam says and Juliette turns away as he leans into kiss Betty again.

She had to get out of this kitchen.

So, in the most casual movements that she could muster, Juliette walks over to the backdoor, pushing it open and wandering onto the Lowry’s expansive deck. She spies Joel standing in front of the grill, flipping the chicken breasts for dinner. Juliette goes to him for no real reason except for maybe distraction.

“Hey Julie,” Joel says once she stops next to the grill.

“Hey Joel. You got stuck with grill duty?”

“Looks like it. Dad didn’t want to today and you and Adam weren’t back in enough time so, here I am.”

“So, I’m partially responsible for your predicament?”

“Depends on if you were the reason Adam was late,” Joel jokes, looking over to Juliette with a smile on his face.

Juliette has to push down the heat that threatens to rise as the image of her and Adam in the backseat of his car with his hand between her thighs, flashes through her mind. Instead, she just laughs before her attention is pulled by Elaine and Dave walking outside, followed closely by Elsie and Evan. Adam and Betty appear last and she tries not to feel hurt at the sight of their hands intertwined.

She turns away, looking for another distraction, moving to the cooler placed in the corner of the deck. Juliette manages to fish out a beer and pops it open. But before she can even take a swig, she hears Adam’s voice sound from behind her.

“Hey Jules,” he says and she spins around and comes face-to-face with him and Betty. “Have you met Betty yet?”

Juliette once again must force a different expression on her face, one that disguises her true emotions (like the feeling of wanting to glare daggers in Adam’s direction) before turning to Betty with a smile on her face.

“I don’t think I have,” she says lightly, holding out her hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Betty.”

“Finally meet me? Oh no, please don’t tell me Adam has told you everything about me.” Betty laughs, taking Juliette’s hand.

“Well, we’ve been best friends since high school so he usually tells me everything,” Juliette explains, her eyes darting back to Adam knowing that he understands the insinuation behind her words. “But he’s only painted the best picture of you.”

“That’s good to hear. Want to try to make a good impression, y’know?”

“Totally understandable.”

Their conversation is interrupted by Adam’s dad calling everyone over to their outdoor dining table, ready to serve dinner. And as they all take their places, Juliette finds herself sitting next to Elsie and right across from Adam and Betty. Which means that all throughout dinner, Juliette is forced to watch the two of them.

She has to watch Adam with his arm so casually thrown over Betty’s chair, has to watch his head occasionally dip down to kiss her. She has to sit through a dinner filled with everyone talking about Betty and Adam: about their house in Winnipeg, about their golden retriever Banks, about their life together. An entire life separate from the world of this little Calgary lakeside neighborhood.

A life completely separated from her.

And when Juliette listens to Adam, hears his whispered words to Betty that float over to her on the late summer breeze… they sound so similar to the words that he whispered to her those early mornings, safe beneath her sheets.

Sometimes, Juliette focuses her attention onto Betty, watching as she effortlessly becomes a part of the moment, how she is so at ease with Adam’s family, and how she manages to make even Elsie and Evan laugh. And how in love she is with Adam.

Dinner ends as the night cools and after a few more drinks and a little more conversation, Juliette finds herself walking out the front door with Evan and Elsie close behind, catching a ride back to her apartment with them instead of Adam. For obvious reasons.

And it’s only a few moments until Juliette is curled up in the backseat of Elsie’s convertible, the night air chilling her to the bone as she watches the scenery pass her by, only slightly listening to the conversation being had by Elsie and Evan in the front. Until she hears Adam’s name.

“So, Adam’s girlfriend. What do we think?” Elsie probes, her question dancing on the air.

“She pretty cool. Although it seems kind of weird that this is the first time we’re meeting her but it feels like she’s already met Adam’s family,” Evan muses.

“Yeah, but that’s probably because they go to Winnipeg more than we do. Most likely they met her there along with the rest of Adam’s Winnipeg friends.”

“So, we’re just the less important hometown friends?”

“Well, maybe you are, Evan,” she teases before her twin brother smacks her arm. Juliette can’t stop the smile that tugs at her lips at their antics, a smile that is matched by Evan as he turns to face her.

“What do you think, Julie?”

“About you being less important? I suppose it’s debatable,” she laughs, joining in on Elsie’s teasing.

“No,” Evan says rolling his eyes, still hating whenever the two of them team up against him. “What do you think about Betty?”

Juliette’s smile falters slightly as she turns her eyes back out into the dark forest surrounding the street.

“She seems really nice,” she offers quietly, her voice almost lost to the wind. Juliette can hear a small hum emulate from Evan before he returns to face forward.

The conversation ends there, the rest of the ride to her apartment silent except for the thanks she gives Elsie and Evan when they arrive.

And when she collapses into her bed that suddenly feels too big for just her, she turns towards the empty side, picturing Adam next to her.

*~*~*~*~*

The next thing Juliette registers is her jolting awake from a deep sleep, with the feeling of bile building in her throat, the early morning light filtering through her windows.

She didn’t remember falling asleep. She had no recollection of when she finally drifted off after hours of tossing and turning. But she did remember her dream.

She was standing in her bedroom, separate from her body, watching over the scene like a fly on the wall. Her body was in her bed and Adam was next to her, facing her, that gentle expression on his face as he looked into her eyes. His hand brushed the hair away from her face and Juliette could hear him whisper those sweet words; telling her that she was the only one he wanted, telling her that he loved her.

Juliette watched as he leaned in to kiss her, his hand tangling in her hair, pulling her body close.

It was a familiar scene, one that had played out almost every night they were together in the past two months. But as Juliette continued to watch, the scene began to shift. The body lying next to Adam starts to change: her curls straighten, her dark hair begins to lighten, the freckles on her skin disappear. And when Adam breaks the kiss, the girl below him isn’t Juliette.

It’s Betty, looking up at Adam with her beautiful brown eyes.

Juliette couldn’t look away, watching as Adam brushes back her blonde hair before whispering that he missed her. That two months away from her felt like torture. That he thought he would die if he didn’t have her in his arms.

The same thing he told Juliette that first morning.

She watched the soft smile break across Betty’s face and Juliette had to watch as Adam leaned in, kissing Betty once again.

Juliette’s hands rub across her face, attempting to scrub the dream from her mind. But she knows it is an impossible task, knows she will never be able to forget it.

That dream was a sharp shock back to reality, an upfront confrontation of the situation she found herself in. The situation that she had perpetuated.

This was what Adam was doing to her. This was what they both were doing to Betty.

Adam’s girlfriend was no longer a face on the screen. Her name was no longer something said in passing. She was here. She was real. And the truth would destroy her.

But what was the truth?

Was it the life that Adam and Betty had built together in Winnipeg? Or was it every moment that he and Juliette shared?

Juliette had believed Adam meant every word that he said to her. Back then, when this whole affair first started, she had to believe it. It was the only hope she could hold on to. But she never stopped to think that perhaps that was all it was – hope.

Enough to sustain her but not enough to feed her. No where close to what she actually needed in order to survive.

That voice in the back of her mind – the one that had been silenced as the summer went on – was back in full-force now, screaming at her. Telling her that this would be a disaster, no matter who Adam chose.

If he chose Juliette, Betty would be devastated. The life that she had built in Winnipeg would be destroyed and was Juliette that heartless to not feel a shred of sympathy for the girl whose life she was complicit is ruining?

But if he chose Betty…

Juliette pushes the voice back, silencing it before it could expand on that possibility. Because that couldn’t be real. Adam couldn’t take back everything he had said to Juliette, he wouldn’t. And call her selfish, call her a bitch, call her whatever you wanted to, but Adam was hers.

And he would prove it to her.

Betty was here, in person. Adam could talk to her face-to-face. It was exactly what he had told Juliette to wait for, to be patient for. And the universe blessed them by allowing the moment to happen here, in Calgary where Juliette was, instead of in a city two provinces away.

All Juliette had to do was wait a little longer. And then Adam would be hers. Completely.

Just like he promised.

*~* 3 days later *~*

She’s gone. Can I come over? Message received July 30th at 5:28pm

Door’s unlocked. Message sent July 30th at 5:36pm

*~*~*~*~*

Juliette hears her front door open and it takes all her willpower not to move from her spot on her bed. She hears Adam lock the deadbolt before his assured footsteps move through her apartment towards her bedroom. It only takes a minute until he appears in the doorway, his eyes landing on Juliette sitting on top of her sheets, back against the pillows.

The way his face softens when he sees her makes Juliette’s heart flutter and before she can blink, his long strides cross her room until his shins hit the edge of her mattress. Adam leans forward, his hands reaching out and Juliette feels his callused fingers wrap around her ankles. A gasp is torn out of her mouth as Adam grips her tight, pulling her down the bed towards him. His broad body covers her and he crashes his lips onto hers, throwing her legs around his hips.

Juliette’s reaction is instinctual, following Adam’s lead, legs pulling his hips down to hers, her hands coming to tangle in his hair. The kisses that pass between them are fierce, desperate, and Juliette can feel the desire pouring from Adam as his hands constantly move across her frame.

They move in-sync, bodies rolling against one another as Adam’s lips drift away, moving to her neck as his hands sneak under her t-shirt. Small moans are all that Juliette can muster as Adam’s lips continue to move across her skin, the feeling of his touch after three days of no-contact making her head spin.

A sharp gasp rips from Juliette’s chest as Adam gently bites her throat before moving over the slight indents, marking her. Claiming her once again.

But was she his to claim?

That thought is what jolts Juliette back to the issue that still lingered unresolved between them. The issue of Adam’s girlfriend. And the remembrance of Betty – of her blonde hair and deep brown eyes – crashes over Juliette like a cold morning dip in the lake, dousing the fire of passion that had been steadily building.

“Adam,” she says, her voice a little breathless. Adam does not stop, his lips still moving against her skin and Juliette tries not to get lost in the feeling. “Adam,” she tries again, placing her hands on his shoulders in an attempt to push him away. “Adam! Stop.”

Juliette finally manages to shove Adam off her, her eyes connecting with his as she takes in his puzzled stare, his hands dropping down to rest on her hips as he remains standing over her. The way his hair is mussed and how his pupils are blown wide causes an ache in Juliette that she silences, keeping it at bay until she has the answers that she needs.

“Is it over?” she asks him, propping herself up on her elbows, staring him down.

“Is what over?”

“You and Betty. Is it done?”

Juliette watches as Adam’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, his mouth opening and closing like a fish and his reluctance is what causes Juliette’s frustration to take over.

“Jesus Christ, Adam did you break up with her or not?” she snaps, pushing Adam’s hands off her body as she sits upright, Adam retreating a few steps back, either in shock or politeness, giving her space. The answer seems to be shock when Adam speaks again.

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean ‘what am I talking about’? She was here, Adam. You were face to face with her. You could breakup with her in person. Isn’t that what you were waiting for?”

“Jules,” Adam starts again, moving back towards his, his hands outstretched. “I –”

“No,” Juliette says, lifting herself up off the bed and placing a hand on his chest, stopping his forward momentum. “You don’t get to avoid this. Did you or did you not break up with her?”

Juliette can feel Adam’s chest raise under her palm in a sigh, his eyes turning away from her to stare out the window. The pause continues to stretch between them and because of that, because of how long it is taking Adam to tell her the truth, Juliette already knows what the truth is before he says it.

“I couldn’t do that to her.”

However, even though she knew those were going to be the words he spoke, it didn’t mean they hurt any less.

“Why not?” Juliette asks, feeling the cracks in her heart start to form as she stares at Adam, trying to decipher his expression, trying to see into his mind and find out what he was thinking.

“Because… she was only here for a weekend. And if I told her, she would have had to go back to our house and pack up and do that all herself. Jules, it would be cruel.”

“Oh, so you want to hold her hand through it all?” Juliette scoffs and it’s her anger that pulls Adam’s eyes back to her. “What makes you think she would even want you around? Maybe, if you broke up with her, she would welcome the distance. Especially when you told her about me and you.”

“She can’t know.”

“She can’t know what?”

“She can’t know I’m breaking up with her because of you.”

“Because of me?” Juliette asks, her voice incredulous and it is only then do the floodgates open. “Oh, okay, so, this is my fault now?”

“Jules, you know I didn’t mean it like that,” Adam tries to explain taking another step towards her but Juliette holds up her hand again while taking a step away from him.

“No, no, I see how it is. I’m the one that lead you into temptation and now I’m the one demanding that you break up with your girlfriend. Is that right?” Juliette rants, the tears building steadily, her voice getting thick.

“Jules – ”

“Because she’s all yours. She’s the one you want. You would die if you didn’t have her, right? Because it’s always been Betty. Hasn’t it?”

There is a pause as Juliette lets her words sink in, lets Adam register and recognize them. The words that he whispered in this same bedroom every morning he woke up here. And when Juliette sees that realization wash over Adam’s face, she doesn’t even try to stop the small satisfied huff of laughter that escapes. Even though it ends up sounding more like a sob as the tears finally start falling down her freckled cheeks.

“Or is that me? Are those the things that you told me? Back when you promised that all I had to do was be patient and then you would be mine completely,” she continues, not bothering to brush the tears away. “You think that breaking up with Betty is cruel? What do you think this is? What do you think about what you’re doing to me?”

Juliette holds Adam’s stare, almost forcing him to look at her, to see how much he was hurting her. She wanted him to know there was no hiding from this, there was no running from this. This is what he did and now he had to face it.

“You can’t have both of us, Adam. If you want me the way you’ve said that you want me, then you have to choose me. Because I can’t do this with you anymore.”

The ultimatum hangs in the air, awaiting Adam’s response and Juliette hangs with it. She watches as Adam tears his eyes away from her, his head ducking down in defeat. He speaks again, his voice so soft that under any other circumstance, Juliette might be straining to hear him. But the words he says ring loudly throughout the room, ricocheting right into her chest and shattering her already fragile heart.

“I’m sorry Jules but… I can’t. Not right now.”

The words cut like a shotgun shot to the heart and she collapses back onto the edge of her bed, the hurt clearly painted on her face. She continues to look at him, hoping he would glance up and maybe take back his words. But when he doesn’t – when Adam’s eyes stay locked to the wooden floor, she finally tears her own eyes away from him, pushing back the tears that were still coming.

“Then get out. Get out of my house. Get out of my life,” Juliette chokes out, trying desperately to put as much malice behind the words as she could. “I never want to see you again.”

The room is silent for a moment until Juliette hears Adam move and the sound of his footsteps retreat, the distance between her and him growing further and further with every step. She listens to the sound of them fading, his departure finally punctuated by the echo of her front door closing.

And when that sound hits her eardrums, that’s when the rest of her strength gives out and Juliette’s head collapses into her hands, the tears now falling freely. She sits there and weeps; she doesn’t know how long for. She just cries until the tears are gone, until she feels like she has properly mourned the loss.

The loss of everything she could’ve had.

The loss of everything she never really had to begin with.

*~*~*~*~*

In the aftermath, Juliette attempts to heal. Attempt being the opportune word.

It is difficult, one of the worst breakups that she had ever experienced. Even though she didn’t know if this could even be classified as a breakup. What was it called when you lost someone who was never actually yours?

Still, the lack of definition didn’t dull the pain. In fact, it just exacerbated it. Her heart felt like it was cut open and she had to try to stich it back together. She had to sweep up the ashes of the once blazing passion that had now been extinguished. She had to try and move on.

But moving on was easier said than done. Especially when Adam’s ghost came back to her every night and every morning, she swore that she could still taste him on her lips. It became so bad that eventually she would just lie in bed staring at the ceiling fan, picking apart everything; every word spoken to her, every interaction they shared to see if there was an indication that this would be the inevitable conclusion, until sleep finally overtook her.

She spends days alone in her apartment, drinking every bottle of wine that she owned trying to erase Adam from her mind.

She ignores messages from friends, inviting her out to parties and hangouts because she knew there was a possibility that Adam would be there. And she wasn’t strong enough to face him without being pulled back into his inescapable gravity.

But the solitude doesn’t help either. Because in the silence contained within her apartment walls, all Juliette had was her thoughts. And her thoughts are anything but kind.

They were filled with the memories of Adam and her. They were filled with the knowledge that Adam is going to go back to Betty. It makes her sick to think of Adam holding Betty close, of him never telling her about what he did this summer, about Adam lying to her face and Betty being none the wiser.

But it also makes her sick to think about Adam holding Betty to him and continuing to build a life with her. Leaving Juliette and everything he promised her behind.

Juliette’s distance is eventually noticed and one day, Elsie and Even show up on Juliette’s doorstep, demanding to know what was going on.

And Juliette tells them everything. Everything.

She is terrified that they would judge her, criticize her for willingly going along with something so immoral for months. But they don’t. Perhaps it was because they felt sorry for her. Perhaps it was because they understood that while she carried some of the blame, she was more so an accomplice rather than the perpetrator. Perhaps it was because it was easy to blame the man that had only reappeared after eight years of absence rather than the friend that had been by their side for almost thirteen years.

Whatever the reason, they threw themselves into helping Juliette heal.

It felt like high school again; sleepovers at each other’s houses, staying up all night watching terrible movies, talking until the sun came up. Going to parties together and staying by each other’s sides for the entire night. And whenever they corralled Juliette out of a party early, she knew in the back of her mind it was because Adam had shown up. But she didn’t mind because it meant that they were watching out for her. And for that she was thankful.

There were still times where Elise drank a little too much, the alcohol loosening her tongue as she trashes Adam, cursing him for what he had done. And Juliette has to stop herself from defending the man that broke her heart. But those moments were few and far between.

Juliette never pushed away Elsie or Evan’s support, regardless of whether or not they saw things differently. Because without them, she was certain she would still be waking up alone, hungover and heartbroken.

However, while Elsie and Evan were a great help, Juliette was learning to heal without them.

At one point, Juliette started to drive to lakeside alone, late at night. It was there where she stood out on the shore, watching the moonlight ripple over the still water. Sometimes she would dive in, letting the late summer waves wash away any lingering heartache.

It was there that her examination of her relationship with Adam and the words he had said to her yielded a harsh truth; she had never known him. Nostalgia and lust twisted Adam into someone he wasn’t. When he was lying next to her, twisted in her bedsheets, he was an angel, washed pure by the flame he had ignited within Juliette.

That was the reason losing him hurt so much. Because in that moment, on that day in July, he told her exactly who he was. And the illusion had shattered.

Some nights, she wished he remained unknown to her.

Some nights, she wished he never came back into her life.

That way she could’ve kept the memory of the sweet boy from high school. The one who was assigned the seat next to her in homeroom because their last names were only a few letters apart. The one who welcomed her into his friend group without hesitation. The one who quickly became her best friend.

The person she fell in love with all those summers ago.

But that wasn’t who he was anymore. And so, Juliette finally learned to let the fantasy go.

August slipped away.

And so did Adam.

*~*~*~*~*

The strong knock on Juliette’s door pulls her attention away from the oven filled with sweet potato fries. She glances at her watch, confused that Elsie had arrived almost an hour earlier than she said she would. But Juliette shrugs, moving from the kitchen to the entryway, ready to let her in.

Maybe it was a good thing that Elsie was early. After all, based on how this season of the Bachelor was going, Juliette thought that it might be a good idea for the two of them to chug a glass of wine before even starting the finale.

Juliette doesn’t bother looking through her peephole, unlocking the door and swinging it open. But when she sees the silhouette of the person standing on her doorstep, she realizes that she should’ve at least double-checked to see who was standing outside.

Because standing there on the other side of her threshold… was Adam.

The man that she hadn’t seen or interacted with in almost two months.

“Can I come in?” he asks, the baseball cap perched on his head, his piercing blue eyes peering out from underneath the brim.

Juliette knows that the right thing to do would be to slam the door in his face. She told him that she never wanted to see him again and he had done a good job at disappearing from her life, just like she asked. But now he was back, standing on her doorstep, asking to be let in.

And before Juliette can think better of it, she’s stepping to the side, a silent invitation for Adam to enter her apartment.

He accepts, walking in and taking off his hat, his hand coming to run through his hair as he takes in the scene of her living room.

“The Bachelor?”

“Yeah, the season finale is tonight,” she explains, closing the door behind her, her eyes never leaving Adam’s frame.

“Expecting someone else?” he asks, vaguely pointing to the bottle and two wine glasses perched on her glass coffee table.

“Elsie.”

Adam’s reply is a hum as his eyes continue to dart around the room. It isn’t until now that Juliette realizes that he has yet to look at her.

“What are you doing here Adam?” she asks, crossing her arms in front of her, the sharpness of her voice finally pulling Adam’s attention to her. She hates the way her heart still lets out a small flutter at the sight of his expression softening as his eyes land on her.

“I just want to say that I was wrong. For not doing exactly what you asked me to.”

“What do you – ”

“I’m going to break up with Betty,” he says, cutting off her question. The words are uttered so fast that it takes a moment for Juliette to fully register them. And when she does, she can feel her expression twist from confusion to disbelief. Adam reads her reaction before continuing.

“I go back to Winnipeg in a week and as soon as I’m there, I’m going to tell her it’s over.  But I just wanted to tell you first.”

“Why?” Juliette asks, feeling her heart start to pound in the anticipation of receiving Adam’s response.

“I was hoping that…” he starts, his words stilted and awkward as his gaze reverts to darting around the room. Juliette watches as he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as if he was readying himself to say the words he was about to speak. His eyes return to hers and Juliette can feel her breath catch in her throat at the fierce determination in his gaze.

“I still feel the same way that I did about you, Jules. You’re the only one for me and I’m sorry that I made you wait so long to hear me say this. I never wanted to hurt anyone but because of that, I ended up hurting you. I promise I’ll never leave you again.”

Every sentence, every declaration is punctuated by Adam taking a step towards her and Juliette doesn’t retreat, doesn’t move. Just lets him continue his steady approach until his hands are resting on her hips, holding her close.

“I want all of you, Jules,” he whispers, leaning down to press a kiss into the crown of her head. “My beautiful Jules.”

It was everything that Juliette had wanted to hear, everything she waited for during those three months of sneaking around, of stolen moments and pretty lies. And perhaps if the two of them were still back there, back in the heat of June, back at the beginning of summer with all it’s hope possibility, perhaps Juliette would take him back.

But now, in the September chill… it was too little, too late.

“Let go of me, Adam,” she whispers, keeping her body stiff in his hold. She doesn’t relax until she feels Adam’s hands withdraw and it is only when she feels the space between the two of their bodies widen that she looks up at him.

“I don’t – I don’t believe you,” she says and as soon as the words hit Adam, Juliette can see the distance appear in his eyes. There is still a small part of her body that aches as she can see the defeat wash over him but she continues, not willing to let him strip away the strength that she found in his absence. “I can’t trust you, Adam. And there’s no way I can know that you mean what you say. Especially when you’re in another city, a thousand kilometers away.”

Juliette lets her words linger in the air between them, willing Adam to listen to her, to understand how he hurt her the last time he was in her apartment, when he went back on the same exact promise. The pause lasts for a minute or two before a small sigh falls from Juliette’s lips.

“I can’t go through this with you again.”

The rejection feels like a slamming door, shutting out any lingering warmth from a summer love that seemed so real. But even though it hurt and even though there was still a part of Juliette that wanted to chase the sun and bask in its light for a little while longer, she knew that if she did, she would just get burned.

Both her and Adam stand there, appraising each other and she knows that one of them is going to break first, one of them is going to take back the words just spoken. But it wasn’t going to be her. Maybe she used to be willing to give up everything to keep him close – because even though it would hurt, she would get to wake up next to him every morning – but she couldn’t do it now.

Finally, Adam sighs, understanding that he lost the battle.

“I understand,” he says, moving towards the front door, passing by Juliette with a brush of his arm against hers.

But unlike the last time Adam left her apartment, Juliette turns to watch him leave. Her eyes track his movement to the front door, watching as he swings it open. But before he steps out into the autumn evening, he looks back at her and Juliette can see the ocean waves of sadness in his blue eyes.

“Jules,” he whispers. There is an exquisite pang that echoes through the chambers of her heart at the nickname, the nickname meant only for her. A name that she will most likely never hear again. “I’m sorry.”

“I am too.”

Her words are the final sentence spoken, Adam walking out and closing the door behind him. And Juliette expects that seeing him leave would hurt just as much as it did the last time.

But it doesn’t.

*~*~*~*~*

I think about us a lot. I don’t know if it’s the end of the chapter and you’ll return later on or it’s the end of the story. But I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry this is the way it became.

[v3nusxsky]

Oh my Dove

*A/n~ This is for all those having a bad day today and especially my lovely @a-random-dead-thing-in-a-grave . Reader in this is a professor who is the daughter of Queen Regina of storybrook. Reader has the availability of witchcraft.)*

Prompt~ person a has gone through something traumatic and is suffering ptsd symptoms. Person b is trying to ground them and help them through it.

Your life seems to be the thing of fairytales. You are all to painfully aware that you do not fit into the fairytale stereo type. You never have. In a school with Evers and Nevers, you still had not found where you should be. It's not even as if you had family, no you were definitely what you considered to be an outcast. An outsider looking in. Existing but never truly living.

Your live at the school. The beautifully tall towers decorated in ivy vines adding to its rustic vibe was your home of sorts. You lived and worked in the very building. It was much more of a castle than a building. Covering acres of land as it stood in all its grace. The very same castle quickly became your safe heaven. It may not be home but it was a close second. Heavily guarded, you knew you'd be safe and sound here. You'd been around guards all your life, only these were more competent than your old ones... or so you thought.

Until one day you weren't. You'd just got done with your lesson on the history between the Nevers and Evers. Your class seemed responsive and you adored the way it was clear, Nevers needed Evers and vice versa. Neither could exist without the other. Like the sun and the moon, one pulls the other pushes. Although you weren't sure which side you belonged to the very thought of knowing that you were working towards a place where it didn't matter if you were a Never or an Ever healed the pain in your heart.

It was the firm knocks to your door that snapped you from your thoughts. You knew you weren't expecting anyone. Classes were done for the day you had planned to grade some parchments before retiring to your quarters. "Yes what can I-" the words died on your tongue as you took in who was stood before you.

"M-other? What- what are you doing here?" You whimpered out hating the effect this women had on you.

"Now now dear daughter of mine, you could look thrilled to see me now. How long has it been y/n?" Her assertive regal voice seemed to echo around the beautiful stone walls. How could she stand there like nothing had occurred between you both. You couldn't help but open and close your mouth in an attempt to reply but no words came out.

"I - uh years mother, I'm rather busy at the moment could we rearrange for a more convenient time if it's not urgent?" You hated how pathetic your voice was sounding as you stuttered over your words. It had been years, yet the fear was still as fresh as the day it happened.

"Busy?" She scoffed at you "y/n you aren't busy. You don't know what busy is. Try running a kingdom instead of teaching some silly children. You don't even have a suitable greeting for me and it's been years since you ran away."

"Ran away?" You quoted back to her "I didn't run away mother. You forced me away with your actions. Or have you forgotten? You are the reason mother and if you don't mind I'm going to need you to leave I have some work to be doing. " you attempted to turn on your heels and head back to your desk, hoping that would be the end of this uncomfortable conversation. However it was the feeling of dainty yet strong fingers gripping your arms preventing the action. Suddenly you felt like suffocating as your personal bubble was invaded. She was close, so close in fact you could feel her breath on your face.

Her tall towering figure looms over you and suddenly your the same scared child in the lonely tower that was in a corner quivering, tears falling down your cheeks silently. You're forced out of your thoughts as your body was violently shook. "You're still as insolent as you were before! Don't you ever listen? I don't know why I bother with you y/n such a disgrace to our people." Was spat at you and a harsh slap to your left cheek was next. Instantly you brought your had to hold the injured area of skin, tears springing into your eyes you managed to gain some strength and through gritted teeth you bid your mother goodbye. Numbly, you made your way to the comfort of your desk vaguely registering the slamming of the thick Mahogany door.

Seconds blurred into minutes as you were stuck in your own version of hell. Panic rising throughout your body, onslaught of emotions triggered out but the memories that seemed never ending. Queen Regina's presence stirred up the things you'd long since buried. But perhaps not buried deep enough. So much so that you were completely unaware of the fact that there was another presence in the room. The presence was that of the tall fiery red head, the one and only dean of evil. The taller women had made her way to your classroom in hopes of tormenting you a little. All in good fun of course. But all that intention instantly died when she saw how unresponsive you were. She knew the effect she had on you. Of course it was so obvious. Anytime you caught a glance of those hazel eyes and a the mess of curls on her head or even when you picked up on the clicking of her cane against the stone floor, your cheeks would adorn a subtle pink tint. The lack of reaction on your part was most definitely unusual.

Secretly, Lesso loved that she could fluster you with just her presence. It was more than the fear she instilled into everyone who crossed her path.

Despite the issue with her knee, in an attempt to be less intimidating, Lesso knelt down to become eye level with you. Slowly like the sly fox you often thought of her to be, she reached out to rest her hand your arm in an attempt to be comforting. She knew that this was way out of her usual act but she had to try. You looked absolutely broken, sitting in the chair, hands in your curls gripping so hard your knuckles were white. Tears were streaming down your cheeks uncontrollably. The inner demon that was often present in her head had the older women wanting to find the monster responsible for hurting her precious dove. Oh and they would suffer the most dire consequences.

Your body shrank away from the gentle touch instinctively, still in the throes of your flashbacks. Your hands moved from your curls to protect your face. Mentally you were else where despite physically being present. The women ripped her hand away as if she'd been burned, guilt cursing through her veins. She only wanted to help you not make this worse. "Little dove" she hummed out hoping to bring you back "I won't harm you dove may I touch you?" Maybe it was the words or maybe the sound of very voice but you could feel yourself being ripped from the past to the present. A tiny nod was all the consent that was needed.

Lesso gathered you ever so delicately in her arms as if you were a breakable diamond. Her scent, that of pumpkin, cinnamon and something only describable as forest was encircling you. Almost immediately starting to calm you down, only then did you register the other women who's arms you were in. Loud, harsh and uncontrollable sobs wrecked your body as you sat helplessly in the arms of the women you secretly love. If you were honest you had no idea how much time passed, the last thing you remember was your mother being here. Your body went rigid and your breathing picked up as you frantically searched the room, heartbeat thumping loudly in your ears.

"Hey hey hey little dove, you're okay it's just me your fox. No one is going to hurt you my precious. If they even tried I'd cut their fingers off." She added with a slight chuckle at the end of her words hoping to prove her identity. Suddenly you went boneless, collapsing In her arms. Unsure if it was exhaustion or just seeking comfort, Lesso wrapped you even more securely in her arms if that was even possible. "Oh my precious white dove, you're okay my darling. I'm here. You aren't alone and you're safe. Would you like to talk about it?" Her words were soft and so unlike her regal self. You knew this was your choice. You wouldn't be forced to open up about all of this. But maybe it was time to be truthful on who you are. The women who could install fear into anyone with a simple glance sounded as if she'd become softer than the fabric of your clothes. Her words wrapped around you like her arms aiding the feeing of safety. It was your fox. You could hear the steady rhythm of her heart beating bellow your ears.

It was only then when you were in slightly better control over your breathing that you started to explain what had happened. The way you spoke, the tone of your voice was almost inaudible, but you knew that she would be listening diligently ensuring she heard every word you offered.  You knew that the women felt the tremor that ran through your body at the mention of Queen Regina. The most regal and heartless queen in all the realms. It wasn't a secret everybody knew just how cruel her punishments could be. The rumours of her vault containing beating hearts, stories of her servants having hearts ripped from their chests for the smallest infractions. Lesso almost admired her. Almost. That was until she learned the harsh truth of your past. Never having made the connection, suddenly it all made sense. You never fit into the box of Never or Ever. You were like a beautiful shade of grey. Of course you were her. Princess Y/n of storybrook. The princess who ran. However lesso had never been one for idle gossip as she knows first hand there's more to the story than you allow others to know. Your own mother had clipped your beautiful pure wings. Her dove. And at such a young age too. The older women felt her heart breaking at the thought of little y/n curled up crying in the tower alone. A heart wrenching thought.

You could feel your shoulders tense up as you finished explaining the relationship you had with your own mother. Skipping over details that would bring you back into the hell of your own mind you waited on bated breath for a reaction. It naturally took a few minutes for a response. The wait seemed to drag for hours but in reality it was only a few minutes. You'd expected the silence, princess y/n of Storybrook had a lot of stories about her. Funnily enough none of them contained facts. Although they did and excellent job of painting you as a coward and pushing Queen Regina into the victim. Of course they would, the people were terrified of her. They'd say and do whatever she asked of them to ensure they keep their hearts. Half of you suspected your mother had controlled someone into spreading the lies, whispering into one of her many hearts hidden in her castle.

"Oh my dove, I'm so sorry you must know I don't see you any different than I did an hour ago." She seemed to pause in thought questioning herself on if she should say the next part. "I knew Queen Regina was a tortuous ruler but that's too far even for my standards ... princess I'm so sorry"

You shuddered at the title you'd not heard in years. "Lesso... please don't call me that. I'm not her. I'm not the princess of storybrook no more. I have that title up long ago. I'm just y/n okay?" You whispered trying not to let your voice show just how much hearing your old title bothered you.

"Darling you may not be her but you can be my princess mmm?"she drawled out whispering it directly into your ear. She couldn't help the smirk when your cheeks adorned that blush she'd grown to love.

"I thought I was your dove my fox?" You questioned cheekily some of your spark returning now the truth was out.

"Oh my darling why can't you be both?" The glint in her eyes indicating that this was going to a lighter topic. One you enjoyed more than you cared to admit.

"I suppose I can allow that my evil fox" you mumbled pretending to really consider it even though you knew you'd allow her to call you that. Loving the reaction she had to saying it.

"Nora..." you whispered out suddenly the fear and realisation of what had happened hit you like a fright train, "will you... can you not tell anyone who I am ? Please "

"My dove this will be between us I promise you now. I like the idea of having a princess all to myself" she smirked at you knowing you'd get the reference she was clearly making. A small chucked fell from her lips as a yawn escaped you. Breaking down was exhausting. Your body was weak and tired, your head was pounding not willing to relent and you were sure you looked absolutely hideous.

"Come on dove you need your rest." Her tone leaving no room for arguments you stood and extended a hand in order to help your Nora up. The small wince at the shooting pain in her knee did not go unnoticed by you. Guilt cursed through you, knowing she'd ignored her own discomfort to help you. You made a mental note to thank her for all this once you more human.

"Thank you dove let's go hmm?" This time it was her turn to offer you a hand as the other gripped onto her cane like a life line. You accepted gladly and gave her a small smile. "Thank you my fox. For all of this. You helped me massively." You wanted to give her some reassurance as you knew the panic she must have felt in this situation. This women, who'd brought you back from the fiery pits of your own mind would say she doesn't show affection, love or any kind of good emotions well at all. But Lesso is never anything short than perfect. This was no exception. With that you both made the short journey to your quarters where you'd convince Lesso to join you in bed. You'd claim it was because her knee was hurting her but she knew you just needed her to feel safe. And she'd be by your side for as long as you wished it.

Word count ~ 2600

* A/n ~ this was so nice to write. Also yes Queen Regina comes from once upon a time but I kinda mashed together her character with her mothers to create the queen in this story. Let me know your thoughts:)*