#slept so soundly. got like 10 hours

[echidnana]

the fatigue is neverending

[hollyhoneybear]

【 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒 】 - being athy's big sister

remember, requests are open !

Athanasia was very weary of you, at first.

In Lovely Princess, you were an impartial character. You treated both Athanasia and Jennette the same, never favoring one more than the other.

At first, you did speak out agaist the claims of Athanasia poisoning Jennette. However, when the fake evidence was presented, you could only side with the law.

The novel didn't expand much on your personally.. You were just Jennette's beloved big sister, and Claude's first daughter.

So she was surprised when almost every day, without fail, you would come running to her nursery, begging whatever maid that was half-hazardly watching Athy to let her play with you.

Although only a few years older than Athy, you did more than the maids every did (aside from Lillian, of course). You happily bottle fed her, read her books, played toys with her.

Still, Athy kept her guard up with you. You'd think she's cute now.. but when Jennette comes along, you'd leave her side just like in the novel.

...

At 10 years old, your little sister was 5. After your persistant efforts, Athy had slowly let down her guard around you. It was alright to relax for now.. right?

Your days before Claude were blissful. You'd sneak Athy chocolates, bake sweets together while the maids gushed over how cute you both were. You'd spend hours in the flower fields braiding wildflowers.

At some point, you basically began living in the ruby palace. You'd crawl into bed with Athy at night, holding her against you as Lily read you both a bed time story.

Every single night a kiss was placed on her small forehead, and you both slept soundly in each other's company.

But that changed when Claude appeared.

...

Both something that you and Athy could agree on was that Claude was.. unknown to you both. He wasn't exactly a good father to either of you.

Still, you saw the opportunity for your family to become closer, so you jumped at the chance!

Every day you were in Claude's office begging him to have a tea party with Athy and her.

Every day you would ask for a bit of money to get Athy a gift - and then of course, suggest he should get her one as well.

Slowly, over time, you three bonded and became closer (even if Athy didn't want to admit it).

When Athy started drowning that one day, Claude watched as you nearly jumped in after her. But he grabbed you by your ankle before you could jump in, instead fishing his hand in to get her out himself.

That surprised you both. You were excited, while Athy was freightened.

Things really changed when Athy had that near-death scare, though. You three were having one of your usual tea parties, when Athy started spitting up blood.

The last thing she saw was you rushing to her side, and Claude staring at you both in shock.

...

After that incident, everything changed. Well - things stayed similar. You three had tea, ate dinner together, went on boating trips. But things just felt.. different.

You both could see the way Claude looked at you two had changed. You were cherished. And while you weren't super caught off guard about it, Athy certainly was.

Every day you were carrying her to Claude's office, and spent almost the whole day in there coloring, playing, or talking to Claude.

Claude started giving you both gifts.

When you appeared at his office one day with Athy, dressed in these adorable matching outfits Lily got for you both, Claude nearly choked at how cute his daughters were.

You three were getting closer, as if you were a real family.. and Athy felt like she could finally, really, relax.

...

As you both got older, your dynamic changed a little, but you were stiill very close.

You helped Athy with everything for her debutante. Choosing decorations, jewelery, makeupstyles to do, dresses to wear, you were involved in every step. And she couldn't have loved it more!

Compared to Athanasia's original debutante, the event didn't feel like an upcoming battlefield, but instead a day to celebrate with her family ....in front of a bunch of nobles, but we'll skip that.

She insisted that you were a dress that matched her's somewhat.

As a teenager, she's much more protective over you. Her darling, angelic older sister, she couldn't just let someone take advantage of you!

Definitely starts getting jealous when you start spending more time with your friends, or your lover.

Despite her fears, you never "left her side" for Jennette. You were always cordial towards her, but Athy was always your first priority.

When Jennette's identity was eventually revealed, despite the ongoing turmoils, you tried to act like family to Jennette, but that sister bond with Athy was a bit different.

And even if it was a little selfish.. she was immensely greatful for that. You were the only person to be on her side since day one.

You were always there during the hardest times for Athy. Even when she ran away, she couldn't bare to see you in distress, so she would visit you every night and keep you updated.

On one occasion, she snuck you out to meet Jennette..

..And it was wonderful! You three spent the night drinking tea, eating cute cookies, and chatting the night away.

It relieved you that, even though Athy wasn't home, she was still safe.

...

By the time Claude got his memories back, you three had the strongest relationship you'd ever had before.

You were.. a real family.

After everything with Anastacius was over, the topic of inheritance came about.

You were, by a good few years, the eldest.. and therefore, the rightful heir to the throne.

You expressed right away that you'd love for Athy to become Empress. But that's where she stops you!!

You've done everything for her in this life. If you weren't here.. she wasn't sure if she'd even be alive, let alone in Obelia.

So after much deliberating, it was agreed that you would be the next Empress of the Obelian Empire.

...Which meant, you had to hang out with Athy a lot less. It was torture for you both.

The bright side was that Athy got to involve herself in all aspects of the planning. She wanted you to have the best coronation, so she deemed herself in charge of the matter, along with Claude of couse. But she'd act like the boss because it's Athy

She helped you pick out a dress, decide on the hairstyle. You two spent countless nights doing makeovers on each other, because she wanted to try different makeup styles on you, and you wanted to try similar looks on her so that you were matching on the special day.

When the day came.. it was magcial.

You were surrounded by your loving little sister, your proud father, the friends you had made, and the empire that adored you.

Although Athy wasn't going to be Empress, you made sure to communicate to her that you two would stay as close as you always had.

Despite her original fate, Athanasia had earned her place of ultimate safety and happiness; right by her big sister's side.

[probably-writing-x]

The Stars That Shine

Summary: could you do something w conrad based off of mary’s song oh my my my by taylor swift 🥺

Author’s Note: Im so sorry I struggled so much writing this but I hope you love it and it’s what you were hoping for <3

It was like there was just something between you and Conrad that everyone else could see even when you couldn’t. You’d grown up in the house next to his in Cousins and so, every summer without fail, you spent every waking moment with him. It was like summer started so nothing else mattered. He was two years older than you and for the majority of your life he’d made that abundantly clear - he treated you like a little girl in comparison to him. He saw you in the same way he saw Jere, younger than him and so someone he had to be responsible for.

When you were 8, he threw you into the pool and then fought you when you tried to get back at him for it. You’d slipped on the concrete and cut your knee, and Susannah had told him he was too big to be fighting you. He’d patched you up with a plaster over the cut and bought you an ice cream from the van when it came past.

When you were 10, he punched a boy that jumped the queue in front of you over at the boardwalk. You’d been queuing to use the karts, and a boy had treated you like you were invisible. Conrad grabbed your arm and pulled you behind him, turning the guy around and clocking him in the jaw. He bruised his knuckles and you bought him fries from the stall to make up for it. You remembered it every time you ended up back at that boardwalk.

When you were 12, he got dared to kiss you one night when the group of you were all camping out at the beach. He refused at first and both of you forgot about it. But, later that night, he’d stopped you on the sand and told you that he never backed down from a dare. You ran away before he had the chance. Neither of you mentioned it after that day.

When you were 14, you realised for the first time that you liked him. He was getting ready for a date and you watched him fix his hair in the mirror, the pain settling on your chest that it wasn’t you he’d be with. He’d told you to wish him luck and you couldn’t find a word to respond with. A few hours later, Conrad had returned and told you dating wasn’t for him, he’d shook hands with you that he’d never go on a first date again. You’d laughed and taken the bet, hoping to God for just a moment that the next one would be with you.

When you turned 16, it was like Conrad saw you completely differently. You turned up in Cousins that summer and he saw you as a whole new person. He’d looked at you on the driveway like he was looking at a stranger, until his hand stretched out and he ruffled your hair on your head. You blushed under his touch and prayed he didn’t notice.

But there was just something so different about that summer. You felt Conrad’s eyes on you whenever he had the chance, the way he listened in to what you said just a little more intensely, the way he defended you when the boys started being dicks. The little things that just didn’t feel the same as they normally did.

It was that same summer that Conrad first took you out in his truck. His father had bought it for him for Christmas and got Jere one too - now that both of them could drive. Conrad had always complained that he’d have to wait for Jeremiah but it didn’t seem to matter now that he had his car. It started with just little trips to the store, spending a little longer with each other browsing through the aisles before he took the long way home. And then one night, when you couldn’t sleep, it felt like everything changed.

———

You made your way slowly downstairs, breezing past your parents’ room where they both slept soundly. With no real reason why, you just couldn’t sleep tonight. And there was only so long you could lay in bed waiting for sleep to take you.

You slip on a hoodie over your bralette and shorts and grab a pair of flip flops, heading out of the back door and into the yard. It was so much more peaceful at night. You’d sleep out here if you could.

It was rare you spent much time at home in this place, however. All of your best memories were made in the house next door - Susannah was the hostess and your parents always accepted that. You walk down the length of the garden alongside the hedged fence joins the two yards, your eyes flicking into their side.

That’s when you see him. Illuminated by the lights in the water, seemingly giving him an eerie glow, his legs drifting back and forth under the surface from where he sat at the edge of the pool.

“Con?” You hiss into the silent air and he instantly bolts his head up to look at where the noise has come from.

He smiles when he sees you, standing up from the poolside and wiping his hands on his shorts, “Are you stalking me (Y/l/n)?”

“Don’t flatter yourself Fisher,” You roll your eyes, wrapping your arms around yourself.

He smirks and makes his way over to you until you’re both stood in front of each other, separated by the short hedge between you.

“Why are you awake?”

Conrad shrugs, “I never sleep early.”

You nod, “I can’t sleep.”

You feel the way his eyes watch you, the way they seem to melt into your skin. The way you seem to heat up just a little under his gaze.

“Do you want to go somewhere?”

“Now? Con it’s like 1am,” You frown, glancing back up to him.

He shrugs, “Do you have anything better to do?”

And so, he disappears back into his house and you take the alleyway at the side of yours, waiting for him out the front against the passenger door of his car.

Only moments later, he steps outside, swinging his keys around one finger as he makes his way over to you. You both clamber in and he drives off without another word.

You look out of the passenger window at the passing cars and don’t notice the way he watches you. The way his eyes are on you as if they can’t be torn away. Conrad wasn’t exactly sure when things had changed - or if they’d ever changed at all. He just knew that he saw you now and saw someone he couldn’t be without. Like someone had made him see you in a completely different light. Had he always felt like this and only now realised?

“Have you seen the-“ You turn your head back around and notice his eyes solely on you, feeling a blush burn at your cheeks, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just-“ He stops himself.

“Focus on the road Fisher,” You roll your eyes, drawing your knees up to your chest on the chair.

“That’s my sweatshirt,” He points out, turning another corner as the two of you drive down another country lane.

Eventually, he parks the car up on the hills overlooking the town, both of you still sat in the front seats staring out over the dark view.

“So why couldn’t you sleep?” Conrad asks you, leaning his head back against the headrest.

You shrug, “I don’t know. Just stuff on my mind I guess.”

He nods, “Go on.”

“Do you-“ You stop yourself, shifting in your seat so that you’re sat sideways, facing him directly, “Do you feel like… I don’t know, like this summer has been different than before?”

You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows the lump in his throat, “In what way?”

“Come on Con,” You scoff, “I feel like I stranger showing up here again, I know you’re all looking at me like I’m a new person.”

He jumps the gun quickly to correct you, “It’s not like that, I know you’re still you.”

You roll your eyes, “Then why are you being so different with me?”

“I just-“ He stops himself, reaching out to brush your hair away from your face, as if he wants to frame your features in the perfect light, “It just feels like this summer I actually woke up. Saw what was right in front of me.”

“And what’s that?” You stop yourself from smiling, feeling so nervous with the way he cupped your cheek.

His thumb brushes along your jaw, until it is at the base of your chin, “You.”

Slowly, cautiously, like he’s giving you both the time to overthink, he draws you into him and you pull to him like a magnet. His breath fans over your lips before you close the space between you, his lips soft and uncertain against yours. You hadn’t kissed anyone before, you didn’t have a clue on what to do. But his hand keeps you pulled into him and his fingers are in your hair and his lips move against yours like they were meant to be there. He holds you like he’s been waiting to for a short forever.

Conrad’s hands move lower, pressing against your back to pull you into him, both of you angled awkwardly over the console of the car. He fumbles in his seat to draw you close to him despite the block between you and both of you laugh against each other.

“Terrible place for a first kiss,” He mumbles against you, his forehead pressing against yours.

You smile and pull away from him, “I think we’re just impatient.”

“Oh I think we’ve both waited long enough to do that,” He scoffs, “C’mere.”

One hand drops to draw his chair as far away from the wheel as it will go before they’re both back onto you, gripping and grasping at your hoodie to pull you over to him. You giggle as you clamber over onto his lap.

He grips your waist as you settle down onto his thighs, your noses bumping together in the small space.

“Hi,” You grin, holding both of his shoulders as if convincing yourself he was real.

His hands slip beneath the waistband of your hoodie, for no other reason than to convince himself that you were real too, that he could feel you there.

“Hi.”

———

You and Conrad had stayed together for the following year without any hiccups. He drove to your home, you drove to Boston, you met in the middle in Cousins. You spent Thanksgiving with his family, and he came to yours after Christmas. You called each other nearly every night and the long distance never seemed to feel like too far. All up until when the two of you were back in Cousins. Your parents hadn’t come this summer but you had, and you stayed at Susannah’s place. It was the most time you and Conrad had ever spent together, waking up together, going to sleep together, it was all you’d been wanting since he’d first kissed you in that car.

But all pieces of heaven come with tiny bits of hell. And it didn’t take too long for the perfect bubble to burst.

You’d been at the beach at a bonfire party, and you’d been accepting any drink that someone offered you. It was starting to hit you a little bit, the sort of buzz that warmed your veins and heightened your confidence.

“Where’s Con?” You frown at Jeremiah, squinting around the mass of bodies to try and spot your boyfriend.

“I don’t know,” Jere shrugs, “I think I saw him with Steven by the fire.”

You nod and trail your steps in that direction, stumbling a little on the uneven sand.

“Hey!” An unfamiliar pair of hands grab your waist, “Come and dance with me.”

You push them away and turn your head back to see a boy you don’t recognise, rolling your eyes.

“Oh come on, don’t be boring,” He encourages, “Dance with me.”

His hands snake around your waist again and you push them off.

“Get off me!” You exclaim, turning around to face him.

“Oh is that how you’re playing it?” The boy smirks, “What have you got a boyfriend or something?”

“I-“

“Hey, do you want to back the fuck off?” Conrad’s voice bellows from beside you, coming up towards the boy and shoving him square in the chest.

He stumbles backwards on the sand but catches himself before he falls.

“Who the fuck are you?” The boy scoffs, looking up to meet Conrad’s eyes before looking back at you, at the way Conrad shields you with his body, “You’re her boyfriend?”

“How about you leave her alone?” Conrad waves the boy off, watching as he walks off from the both of you before he turns around to face you.

“God he wouldn’t get off me he-“

“We’re going home.”

Conrad’s voice is cold, emotionless - a way you’d never heard him speak towards you.

“Wh-“

“We’re leaving,” He snaps once again, “I’m driving.”

“Con wh-“

He holds your arm in his grasp and tries to lead you away from the party, getting you as far as being just slightly away from the big crowd.

“Conrad get off me, you’re hurting me!” You exclaim, pulling your wrist from his grip, “What’s wrong with you?”

“(Y/n) you’re drunk and we’re going home,” He says harshly, looking at you with eyes that didn’t feel like his own, “Now get in the car.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” You wrap your arms over your chest, “Why are you being like this?”

“Because you’ve got guys fucking trying it on with you, thinking they’ve got a chance with you, and I’m stood right there (Y/n)!”

“Nothing happened!” You half-laugh, “He grabbed me and I told him to stop. What the fuck is wrong with that?”

“You think they don’t think they’ve got a chance with you?” Conrad raises his eyebrows, “Are you fucking blind?”

“No I’m not blind Conrad but I’m not going to fucking cheat on you with the first guy that shows me attention. Who the hell do you think I am?”

His shoulders drop a little like he’s realised the effect, but Conrad being Conrad will only let the mask slip for so long before he’s back to the coldhearted demeanour he seemed to have adopted for the night.

“Okay, we’re taking both of you home,” Steven walks over to interject, “I’ve not been drinking, I’m driving.”

You look at Conrad for a moment longer like you’re hoping he’s going to change his mind and reach out for you and apologise but he doesn’t make any move to do so.

He walks off ahead with Steven and you walk behind with Belly and Jeremiah.

Everyone is deathly silent on the drive home until you reach the house and they mumble a quick ‘good night’ before going into separate bedrooms. Conrad still hasn’t looked you in the eyes and, as you sober up more and more, you’re convincing yourself he never will.

“Con can we please-“

You pause as you watch him rummaging through the closet to pull out a pillow and blanket.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping downstairs,” He returns bitterly, turning around towards the door.

“You can’t be serious,” You scoff, “That’s it? You’re not even going to talk to me about it?”

“I’ve said what I wanted to say,” Conrad shrugs, “We’re not going to agree so now what?”

“We fight it out Conrad. We talk about it like fucking adults,” You shake your head, “We don’t just give up and act like each other’s worst enemy.”

He doesn’t respond.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m unbelievable? I’m not the one with a guys arms around my fucking waist!”

“What the fuck was I supposed to do?” You yell, unbothered about every other pair of listening ears in the house.

Conrad doesn’t reply once more, stepping past you to walk into the corridor.

“You know what? Go fuck yourself Conrad,” You state coldly and he glances back only momentarily to watch as you slam the bedroom door, feeling it shake the room around you before you fall to the floor in tears.

The only other sound comes from his feet creaking the stairs on their way down.

—

The following morning, you’re up before anyone else in the house. You could barely sleep in the night, feeling oddly cramped in the spacious bed, feeling cold in the too-hot room.

Eventually, you give up on trying to sleep any more and instead make your way downstairs.

The couch is empty, apart from a small pile with the pillow and blanket stacked on top of each other. You frown a little at the sight, desperate for the calm of seeing Conrad asleep and peaceful. Your eyes draw outside to the garden where you can just about make out the shape of a body across one of the sun loungers, tucked away in the shade at the side of the pool.

He must be freezing.

You grab the blanket from the couch and tuck it under your arm, stepping outside as quietly as you can to reach Conrad.

His arms are wrapped over his chest and his heads tilted to the side, stretching out his prominent jawline. His breaths are calm and even and you’re conscious as ever to not wake him as you stretch out the blanket to lay over him.

You’re just about to turn away when you see his eyes start to flutter open just a little.

“(Y/n)?” Conrad’s voice croaks as you turn back towards the house.

You grimace a little and look down at the floor, “I- I thought you might be cold.”

Certain more than ever that this wasn’t the time to start up another argument, you start to make your way back inside with hurried steps.

“(Y/n) wait!” Conrad calls after you, “Will you stay?”

You pause in your steps and turn around to face him, “I-“

But it’s easier to not say a word, as if you don’t want to ruin the moment. You walk over to him slowly and he shifts over on the lounger so that there’s one thin half of it for you to lay on. He stretches out an arm and you lay down, resting your head on his chest whilst his other arm drapes the blanket over you. Both of you are silent at first, as if wanting to breathe in every ounce of contact you’d been missing.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Conrad says, trailing one hand up and down your back, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

You nod, “I’m sorry too. I should’ve just listened to you and I know you we-“

“Baby,” He speaks so softly you’re sure your heart swells at the feeling of him coming back to you.

You lean up slightly, just enough to rest on your elbow and turn your head to face him.

“I was in the wrong,” He assures you, “I’d been drinking and I saw you with that guy and I just flipped and I shouldn’t have.”

You nod, resting a hand on his chest, “It was kind of hot when you shoved him though.”

Conrad chuckles, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you between his legs, letting you lay over his torso, “You think?”

You shrug, “Just yell at the guy more and not me next time.”

He smiles softly, “Noted.”

———

Arguments came rarely and calmly between the two of you after that day. When you did disagree, it was softer and sadder - less fuelled and less aggressive. Conrad never raised his voice at you, and you never raised your voice at him. You told him when you were upset and he told you when he was irritated. It worked.

You’d been together for five years before things changed again. You were a year out from graduating college and Conrad was practically waiting for the day when you would. He’d already graduated so he came to visit you on the weekends when he could, he worked a job in a research lab in Boston and he’d call you when he finished to tell you about what he’d done that day. The plan for after you graduated was to get the money to buy your parents’ Cousins house from them. The two of you, in Cousins, in the place you’d fell in love. It would be a dream.

You were back in Cousins for the summer after your third year of college and you were, of course, staying with his family and the Conklins. Everything had been completely normal until this one day where it felt like the whole house’s mood had shifted.

“Morning babe,” You yawn as you walk downstairs, into the kitchen where Conrad and Jere are speaking in hushed tones.

They stop abruptly when you walk in.

“Hey!” Jeremiah smiles a little too widely, “I’m gonna… I’m gonna head out.”

You frown as he hurries past you and turn back to Conrad.

“What was that about?”

He shrugs and walks over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, “Jere’s Jere.”

You rest your head against his chest and breathe in the scent of cologne that clings to his clothes.

“Do you fancy waffles?” He suggests, his hands moving up to your shoulders to massage the skin over the material of your baggy t-shirt.

You pull away from him and narrow your eyes, “Waffles?”

“Don’t look at me like that, Im being romantic,” He rolls his eyes at you, walking away to get the ingredients from the cupboard.

“Oh I’m not complaining,” You grin, pushing yourself to sit on the countertop, “Did I forget an anniversary or something?”

“Can’t a guy do something nice for his girlfriend without an ulterior motive?” He questions you, walking over to open the cupboard beside your legs, pulling out the waffle iron.

You shrug, “We’ll see.”

As he stands back up, he leans in quickly to kiss you, “I’ve got some errands to run later but I’ll be back in time for dinner, Belly suggested we all go out.”

“Our for dinner? We never go out for dinner,” You frown, “Why would we-“

“Stop being so suspicious,” Conrad scoffs, “We’ll go somewhere nice.”

“You’re weird today,” You joke and he rolls his eyes at you once again.

—

Later that day, Conrad’s still out and you get a text from him telling you he’ll meet you at dinner rather than coming home first. You’ve been lounging around the house since he left, soaking in the sun in the garden before you came in to shower.

Belly knocks on your bedroom door as you’re laying across the bed watching The Office.

“Hey!” She grins, “Do you know what you’re wearing to dinner?”

You frown as she drops down onto your mattress, “No I’ll probably just put a jumper on or something.”

“I think-“ She looks around your room, “I think we should dress up.”

“Dress up? You’ll never get the boys to agree to that,” You laugh, “Where are we even going?”

She shrugs, “You’ll find out.”

You lean up onto your elbows and narrow your eyes at her, “Why’s everyone being so suspicious today? What aren’t you telling me?”

She laughs and her mouth moves like she can’t find the words, “I’m not saying anything.”

“Belly!” You exclaim as she hurries off from your bed.

“Just… wear something nice,” She sticks her head around the frame of your door, “Maybe that white dress that Conrad loves.”

You glance over to the closet and glaze over your appearance in the mirror. Maybe you should make an effort, it was rare you were ever going anywhere fancy enough to do anything like that. But they all seemed set on making this night a good one - who were you to question that?

Within the hour, you’ve done some light makeup, brushed through your hair and curled the bits around your face, and pulled on the white dress that Conrad loved so much.

When you step out to walk down the stairs, Belly, Steven, Taylor and Jere are all stood looking up at you.

“What the fuck is going on?” You laugh, “I feel like I’m going to prom.”

“Wh-“ Steven coughs, glancing at the others, “We’re just, um, you know, we don’t want to be late.”

You grab your purse quickly and hurry down the stairs, “Calm down, Im ready now.”

They follow you outside and you all walk over to Jere’s car where you go to open the back door.

“Um,” Belly stops you, “You can sit in the front.”

You look at her with a puzzled expression before climbing into the front with Jeremiah, watching as the other three pile into the back.

“Seriously guys what the fuck is going on?” You question as Jere pulls off from the driveway and starts down the road.

“What are you talking about?” Taylor shrugs, “We’re just hungry.”

“Everyone’s like treading on eggshells with me today, it’s weird,” You comment, “Con seemed like weirdly nervous before he left earlier too, I’ve never seen him run out of the door so quickly and I-“

You pause as the sights around you seem to change, Jeremiah taking a turn down a country lane.

“Jere this isn’t the way to the restaurant we need to go…”

You stop yourself once more as his face breaks into a grin that it’s impossible to hide.

“Seriously what aren’t you telling me?” You turn around to glance at the three of them in the back, all of their heads close together looking out of the windscreen.

Belly nods her head in that direction and you turn back to the front, your lips parting and every single sensation in your body seeming to ignite and disappear all in one moment.

There, in the exact spot where he’d first kissed you, is Conrad.

There’s a scattering of rose petals laid out across the grass and candles lining the edge of the cliff that dips down towards the town.

“Oh my god,” You exhale, glancing at the others in the car with tears already in your eyes.

“Go on, I think he’s waiting for you,” Jeremiah nods, squeezing your arm.

The other three look at you with widened eyes and bright smiles on their faces as you open the passenger door and step out.

“I was worried Jere would take you the wrong way,” Conrad calls over to you as you walk over towards him.

“Conrad this is-“ You stop yourself, glancing around at the sight that you’re sure is something out of a dream, “I don’t even know what to say.”

“You look beautiful,” Conrad reaches out his hands for you to hold, “I- God, I’d planned this whole thing and now it’s like I don’t know where to start.”

You step just a foot in front of him and squeeze his hands, looking up at him with watering eyes.

“(Y/n) I love you,” Conrad smiles back at you, “And there are a thousand words I could say now to tell you that, but nothing will be more important than telling you that I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. And so…”

“Oh my god,” You release again, watching as he lowers down onto his knee, reaching back into his pocket to pull out a small velvet box.

“(Y/n) (Y/l/n) will you marry me?”

“Oh my god,” You repeat once again as if they’re the only words going through your brain, your eyes spilling with tears.

Conrad looks up at you with overwhelming emotion in his eyes, “Well?”

“Yes!” You laugh, grasping either side of his face in your hands as he stands up onto his feet, “Of course! Yes!”

He looks down to push the silver ring onto your finger before wrapping his arms around your waist, lifting you up into his grasp before he lowers you down to the ground. His eyes shift into that same adoration they’d held for you when you first came here that night, and he leans in to kiss you with the same excitement as that first time too.

At the sight, a chorus of cheers extend from the car and you both glance over to see all four of them staring out the window with wide grins over their faces.

You laugh through the tears in your eyes and Conrad tightens his arm around your waist, pulling you as close to him as humanly possible.

In that moment, in that perfect moment, you think of your six year old self, when you’d been a blushing mess meeting Conrad for the first time. Your twelve year old self so terrified at the thought of kissing him. The sixteen year old self that first kissed him in that car. And every year since of loving him.

You see yourselves getting married, your families laughing and telling you they knew it would be this way all along. The two of you growing old together, watching your kids grow up too. And, eventually, being sat in the same spot on this same cliff overlooking this same town, with the boy who’d held your heart for your entire life.

The boy who’d always be your Connie.

[star-centric]

Holly (Domestic Happiness) || Chuuya

MEANING: Holly represents the modern-day symbols of happiness, peace, and optimism at home. As the last birth flower of the year, it blends positivity of the festive holiday season with hope for the new year approaching.

A/N: I love picturing Chuuya’s domestic life, he deserves all the happiness in life 🧡 Reader is gender neutral!

❀ FLOWER SPECIAL MASTERLIST ❀

It wasn’t often that you would wake up next to Chuuya.

The differing hours between your occupations made it a bit difficult- his position as an Executive made him work odd hours while your regular office job had you gone from sunrise to sunset. You still made time to see one another in other ways, but it was hard to find yourselves next to one another when sleep called.

When you felt something warm stir beside you, you were surprised to find that it was your husband, soundly asleep. He looked so peaceful, ginger locks spilling onto the pillow below. You were both jealous and amazed at how he looked so beautiful without even trying.

When was the last time you saw him like this? It had to be during your honeymoon, right? That was months ago, and seeing him like this now had you reliving the moment all over again.

It was a small ceremony, some of your close family and friends at a venue far from Yokohama. Seeing him become so awed as you walked down the aisle, seeing the tips of his ears burn bright as he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. You remember how much your cheeks were hurting that day from saying I do all the way to the reception and more.

“What’s got you smilin’ so hard?”

Chuuya roused from under the sheets, voice raspy and filled with sleep. “Must be good if it got you up like this.”

“It is.” You chuckled, tangling your legs with his. Chuuya shot you the same tender look as when he first said I love you at the sound. His azure eyes softened, pulling you towards him.

“Mind telling me what’s it about?” He wrapped his arms across your waist, rolling on top of you and burying his face into the nape of your neck, pressing kisses against it. It left you tickled, laughing as you weakly attempted to push him away.

Being married hasn’t changed anything in your relationship- you still had the same playfulness like you did in the early stages. The only thing that changed was the promise of forever, which you could do with Chuuya.

“I’m surprised to see you off today.” You gave him a quick peck in the midst of his “attack.” “Do I get to have you to myself all day?”

“Not all day unfortunately, I gotta see the boss around nine.” Chuuya sighed, getting off of you but still keeping you in his arms.

“This morning?”

“Yeah, but it shouldn’t take long. I’ll take you to that cafe you’ve been wanting to try once I’m done.”

You slept in since today you were off, so if your husband was still here…

“Um, Chuuya-“ a quick glance at your phone on the nightstand proved your thoughts right. “It’s 10:30.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Chuuya shoot out the bed like he did, covers and pillows being flung to the floor. He snatched up his own phone, cursing at the missed calls and texts. He groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. It was funny to see him stressed like this since he was always so composed- you held in your laugh while you got up too, chills shooting through body as your feet touched the floor.

“I’ll make you some quick breakfast- just go get ready.”

It was stereotypical, sending him out the door with his meal in hand and a kiss (even if one kiss turned to two, then to three- he could never get enough).

But seeing the adoration in his eyes match the same shine as your wedding ring made it more than worth it.

[haddonfieldwhore]

best friend - jeff hardy

2001! jeff hardy x gn!reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: mentions of (scripted) violence?, reader is younger than matt and jeff, best friends to lovers trope

you watched from ringside with wide eyes as your best friend of 10 years, jeff hardy, walked across the top of multiple ladders in the centre of the ring, before toppling to the canvas below, somehow landing on his feet. you breathed a sigh of relief, but your rapid heart rate didn’t let up as the match continued on. splintered tables and steel ladders littered the ground surrounding the ring, along with the barely moving bodies of the other tag teams. you felt like a spectator in your own body, like you weren’t really there, as you watched the 6 men toss eachother around for what felt like hours. jeff climbed back up the ladder and got a hold of the belts, before the ladder was pulled from under his feet, leaving him dangling high above the ring.

positioning another ladder in the center of the ring, edge climbed nearly to the top before spearing jeff mid-air, the two men plummeting to the mat below before laying there motionless. you had to physically held back from jumping into the ring to make sure he was okay, and if you weren’t panicked out of your mind you would have mentally thanked the official for not allowing you to interfere, or worse, throw the match. lita, one of your closest friends and also the girlfriend of jeff’s older brother matt, rubbed your back reassuringly, but you knew she was just as worried as you were. for the remainder of the match, you clutched the apron so hard your knuckles turned white, until finally christian grabbed the belt, ending the match.

as soon as you heard the bell, you slid under the bottom rope, immediately checking on jeff to make sure he was okay. he mumbled almost inaudibly that he was alright, as your hands frantically but gently checked him for signs of injury, before he began to sit up. jeff winced, holding his ribs as he got himself to a sitting position, letting you pull him into your arms in a hug filled with relief.

“are you okay?” you asked desperately, as jeff returned the hug, placing a kiss on the top of your head before you pulled away, cradling his face in your hands, his long red hair dripping with sweat as your brushed it aside.

“i’m okay, i promise,” he assured you, his southern accent peeking through as he spoke. you tilted his head to the side to kiss his cheek, and steadied him as he tried to stand, grateful to have you as a crutch for balance.

•

a few hours later, jeff had been checked over by the medical team and deemed fine, miraculously having sustained no serious injuries during what was sure to become a historic match for the ages. you were curled up next to him on the couch in the hardyz dressing room, waiting for it to be time to head to the next venue. your head rested on jeff’s chest, tangled in each others arms and you slept soundly. jeff’s attention was drawn to the sound of the door opening, and he placed a finger to his lips, signalling to his older brother to be quiet. matt obliged as he silently sat in a chair across from jeff, who’s tattooed fingers absentmindedly traced little patterns onto your back.

“you’d think we’d be the ones sleepin after that match,” matt joked, and jeff smiled down at you. “i guess it takes a lotta energy to worry about your dumbass all the time.”

“ain’t just me, you’re out there jumping off ladders an shit too,” jeff laughed, but his eyebrows furrowed together slightly.

“yeah, but you’re the one they haven’t let go of since the match ended. doctors could barely examine you they were clingin’ on to ya so tight,” matt teased, and jeff was worried you’d woken up as you made a small noise, but only snuggled closer to him and continued sleeping. “jesus jeff, quit droolin,” matt laughed. the younger hardy looked up at his older brother, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

“man, is it that obvious?” he asked sheepishly.

“jeff, i’m your brother; of course it’s obvious to me,” matt said. “but it’s pretty obvious that kid’s in love with you too.” jeff held you a little tighter, and you mumbled slightly as you awoke, eyes opening slowly as they adjusted to the light.

“hey sleepyhead,” jeff smiled, and your heart skipped a beat when you realized where you were. it was a common occurrence for you and jeff to wind up tangled on the couch on asleep on each other shoulders in the backseat driving from show to show, but it still have you butterflies every time you woke up in his arms.

“hey- is it time to go?” you asked, sitting up slightly to jeff’s disappointment as he let you out of his grip. he was relieved when you stayed close beside him however, keeping yourself tucked under his arm.

“not yet. y’all want anything from catering? i’m gonna grab a bite,” matt offered, and you turned your attention to him, only now realizing that he was in the room.

“no, thank you,” you replied as he stood to leave, jeff shaking his head as he also wasn’t interested.

“suit yourselves. be back in a bit.” he tapped jeff on the shoulder as he passed by, the sound of the door confirming that he had in fact left the dressing room.

“tired?” jeff asked, and you nodded, snuggling back into his chest, and cussing him to laugh as he tightened his arms around you again.

“are you sure you’re okay? that spot was insane,” you asked, looking him in the face and searching his eyes for any sign of hesitation. jeff leaned forward and kissed the end of your nose, and you felt heat rising to your cheeks as he replied.

“i’m okay, i swear. it coulda been a lot worse than it was,” he said, and you nodded, finally accepting his answer.

“okay. promise me you’ll be careful though?”

“how long have we been best friends? shouldnt you know by now that’s not in my nature?” he teased, pinching your side by your ribs, sending both of you into a fit of laughter

“alright alright! please stop!” you begged, laughing all the while until jeff finally stopped pinching and tickling your sides, smiling at you. “what? why are you looking at me like that?” you asked, your stomach doing a flip as jeff’s hand grabbed the back of your head softly and pulled your face down until your lips met his. the kiss was soft and sweet, but full of all the love you had both bottled up for years. you pulled away in shock, staring into jeff’s hazel-green eyes.

“i’m sorry, i..i should’ve asked-“ he stuttered nervously.

“so ask me,” you interrupted, and his eyebrows raised in surprise before he cleared his throat.

“can i kiss you?” he asked sincerely, and you nodded in response, jeff crashing his lips onto yours immediately after receiving your permission. it felt as if the weight of a thousand bricks had lifted off of your shoulders; of course you had always loved jeff. how could you not?

pulling away, he placed one more soft kiss on your lips before doing. the same to your nose and forehead, and pulling you into his lap, your head resting in the crook of his neck.

“i love you,” he muttered into your hair, and you smiled, breathing in the scent of his freshly washed hair and the cologne that lingered on his skin.

“i love you more.”

disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned

[lanitalay]

Before I Say Goodnight

Chapter 10

a/n: Happy Monday!!!!! Word count: 4k

Warnings: none, crying as per usual

Other chapters

The last few days have been a blur. When you arrived at the Manor, your stomach was a bottomless pit. The possibility of returning home evaporated in a single second. The fight with Azriel is weighing heavy on your heart. That first night was spent looking at the sizzling hearth until the flames went out, the embers went cold and the sun came out. The second day was spent in bed, drifting between dreams of a life a world away and dreams of Azriel’s face as he watched you walk away. A box of your clothes was delivered by Cassian, you didn’t get out of bed to see him. The second night you managed about one hour of rest in between the fits of crying. You weren’t entirely sure why you were crying. It could have been because of the life that was taken from you, the enormous uncertainty that was your future or the fight with your closest friend here. The third day Jurian made you go with him to the nearby village to buy food for the house and do a check up on the recovery from the war with Hybern. He said you needed to get out of the house and that you looked and smelled like hell. That day you met Muriel, the local apothecary. Jurian brought you to her shop to find some herbs or a tonic or a salve or anything to get you to sleep. When Muriel saw the dark circles under your eyes, the greasiness of your hair and the bitten nails she quickly offered you tea. It was peppermint. It made you feel a little more alive, the liquid warming your cold hands and soothing your tattered heart. You breathed deep, savoring the fleeting moments of peace. “What’s wrong, darlin’?” She asked with a comforting twang that almost brought you to tears. Jurian put a hand on your back and said “she’s going through a difficult time and hasn’t slept in days. Do you have something that would help?” She nods “of course, I don’t have much in stock right now but I’ll give you enough for two nights, by then a new shipment would have arrived and I can dispatch more if you need” she searches for powders and dried leaves on her too full shelves and empties the containers into a small jar “dilute half of this mixture in warm water or milk thirty minutes before you want to fall asleep”. She hands you the jar “thank you” you say but it barely comes out as a whisper. “I can get something for your nails as well, help them get nice and healthy” you look at your hands, the nasty habit from childhood made a reappearance these past days. “I guess that could help” she quickly goes to another shelf and pulls out a tiny bottle “put this oil on all of your nails daily”. She tells Jurian to total and he gives her a few coins “I hope you feel better soon”.

That night you slept soundly. The following morning you got out of bed without having to be dragged out by one of the boys. You felt refreshed. The pit in your stomach still present but less daunting after a full night of sleep. When you walked into the kitchen Lucien’s eyes went wide “glad to see you up and cognizant” you rolled your eyes. “I slept well last night and actually feel like a person this morning” Jurian cuts Lucien off before he makes another remark “the tonic worked?” You nodded “like a charm”. 

After breakfast you had the house to yourself. Lucien was never really home during the day and Jurian had a meeting of sorts with one of the villages’ top blacksmiths. He had mentioned something about getting a decent blade. And Vassa was in her bird form. So you lingered in the kitchen, cleaned the mess from breakfast and had another cup of tea. This morning you missed coffee an extra bit. You were thinking of how there must be coffee plants somewhere in this world but they just haven’t been harvested properly or have not arrived to Prythian when someone knocked on the front door. Startled, you place a hand on your now hammering heart and think of what to do. No one should be home so you could just ignore it and hope they go away. But maybe it was Azriel or Cassian or even Mor. You calmed your breathing a bit and walk from the kitchen to the door. “You’re back” his voice was warm and familiar, almost jovial, but not quite. “Hello Eris, Lucien isn’t home” he didn’t look taken aback by your dry tone. Azriel’s dislike for the male rubbed off on you. “That’s a shame, I’ll just have to wait” he steps into the house before you can protest. “Was he expecting you?” He sits down on one of the sofas “can’t I visit my baby brother without an interrogation?” You huff and cross your arms. “How’s your foot?” Your eyes widen a bit at the memory, surprised he remembered. You look down and flex your toes within your boot and reply “it’s fine now”. “Are you always this enchanting to be around?” He sounds annoyed, you roll your eyes “you are free to leave and return when Lucien is actually here” and walk towards the library. You hear footsteps and are relieved for half a second until you realize he’s following you. “You know how to read?” How am I even supposed to answer that? “I do,” he hums, “impressive for a human”. You look through the shelves, hoping to find something entertaining. “This is a good one” does he ever shut up? He holds up a thin book “it’s an adventure novel, the protagonist flies across the world on a dragon”. You grab it from him and scan the pages. Eyes narrow at him, annoyed that he was kind of helpful “I didn’t know heirs have enough free time to read fiction”. He answers matter of fact “in the centuries I’ve been alive I’ve managed to carve out time to read”. You forget that. These beings are so much older than you’ll ever be. “I guess” you reluctantly concede. 

The rest of the day was spent reading the novel and ignoring Eris. He left shortly after Lucien arrived, their private conversation was brief and, by the looks of it, unremarkable . You wondered why he waited for hours just for that. In a way, it was good Eris had shown up. You never had any time to go into a spiral because by the time he left everybody was home again. “How was your day?” Vassa asked you sweetly. “It was alright, better than the last few” she grinned at that. 

You  used the last of the tonic and slept until the clattering of pots and pans woke you.

“I need to return to the village today” Jurian raises an eyebrow at you. “For the tonic” his features relax, remembering “that’s right, think you can go by yourself? I have to go to the ports today” you think for a moment “I guess, can I take one of the horses?” He nods “take Lucien’s”.

You take a deep breath. The only times you’d been by yourself in this world had never ended well. Just follow the path and you’ll be fine. You repeat the affirmation to yourself all the way to the village. 

The apothecary shop was empty, as it had been the last time you’d been here. But Muriel was there and she smiled when you stepped in. “Hello” you greet “You’re lookin’ so much better darlin’” she was excited. You nod and offer her the best smile you can muster “the tonic worked wonders, do you have any more?” She put her hands at her hips and nods “I sure do, but it’ll take me a while to get everythin’ ready” she walks to the restocked shelves “the girl that usually helps me got married last week and I have about twenty orders I’m behind on”. Her nimble hands pick small leaves of oregano off the stem and drop them into a mortar and pestle. She grinds the leaves with a memorized rhythm, you stare and get lost in the perfectly rehearsed movements. You speak before you really think about what you’re about to say “I can help, if you’d like. I could use something to do during the day” and a marketable skill if you are to stay in this world. Muriel takes you in, and maybe it’s because of pity or necessity but she says “alright, you can make your own sleep powder, grab another mortar and pestle and grind a handful of these flowers” she points at the equipment and the ingredients simultaneously and you immediately get to work. 

It’s almost dark when Muriel finally announces that it’s time to close the shop for the day. Your hands were sore from grinding flowers and herbs and salts. You smelled of the incense she kept burning. Your eyes felt heavy, it had been a very long day. But you felt lighter than you had in a month, maybe in a year. The scents of the shop were warm and soothing. Muriel reminded you of your grandmother, she had crinkles around her eyes and gray hairs sprinkled through her long brown curls. “Can I come back tomorrow?” You asked, hoping she’d say yes “well, of course. You were very helpful today” you stop yourself before you crush her in a hug, her kindness bringing back to life a part of yourself that had long been dormant and say “see you then”. 

“Where have you been all day?” You smile at Lucien “I got a job, I’ll need your horse to get into town everyday” he looks even more confused now. “What are you talking about?” You hop off the saddle and skip towards him “I’m helping Muriel at the apothecary shop, look” and you pull out a jar with the sleep powder “I made this myself, she says I’m a natural”. Lucien can’t deny that it brings him joy seeing you excited about something. “I’ll need my horse some days, but I’m happy for you” he says and pats you on the shoulder. 

“I can’t afford to pay you much more than a few coppers a week” Muriel says the next morning “it’s ok, I really just want to learn”. She nods and the day progresses like the last. Grinding, mixing, packaging and handing out orders. In the flow of routine and monotony you got lost. There, your sole focus was the tasks at hand and gleaning any information you could from Muriel. You didn’t think about your world, your family, your friends, Azriel… nothing that wasn’t in the shop mattered and you were glad. 

A week. 

Two weeks.

Three weeks passed in the same routine. It was peaceful. Breakfast with the boys, then you’d ride into town and work with Muriel until sunset, by the time you reached the Manor it was dinner time and you’d stuff your face and pass out until the next day. Then you’d do it over again. “Tomorrow the shop won't be opening, I’m visiting my sister” Muriel told you as you were cleaning the tools you’d used during the day “so take a break and rest, we’ll be back the day after”. You deflated a bit, the distraction of the routine was your lifeline to sanity “oh, alright, have a nice visit with your sister” she smiled “I will, I haven’t seen her in months. Her daughter had a baby and she’s been fussin’ over them so much I haven’t seen her since” she chuckles. Your chest tightens a bit, a reminder of what you didn’t have anymore. 

The next morning was the same up until everyone left. The empty house felt extra big. You were washing clothes when you heard a knock. Sighing, you get up and open the door. “You should know by now that Lucien isn’t here during the day” you say as Eris stands in front of you. “Maybe I’m not here for Lucien” you step away to let him inside “then why are you here?” Eris walks in but remains standing “I come here when I need a break from my father” he inspects the sitting room “are you the servant?” You suppose no one has ever told him who you really are “I’m … Jurian’s friend” he puts his hands in his pockets “I see” you jump when another knock rattles the door “expecting company?” Eris asks “no” , you respond and open the door for the second time today. Your breath catches in your throat as you see a dark looming figure on the steps. 

“Az?” He’s standing with his hands behind his back but his shadows engulf you as if saying hi to an old friend. You giggle a bit as they gently caress your face. “Y/n” he breathes, like he’s surprised to see you “you look,” he scans you “you look good” you nod “I feel good”. He sags a bit, you’re not sure why, but continues “I’m glad” you shift on your feet “want to come inside?” He shakes his head “I’m actually on my way to an assignment but I wanted to make sure you were fine, Lucien said you were. I just had to see for myself” you nod “I’m better” a pause. A breath “Az I’m sorry for calling you an ass” he smiles at that “I’m sorry for saying all that I said, it was your decision and I was overstepping” another pause “I want you to come to the Night Court for Solstice” he blurts. Your brows raise “oh, I’d love to. When is it?” His cheeks are a little pink, you suppose it’s from the cold “in a few weeks, Lucien is also going. You can winnow with him or I can fly you but I think winnowing is more comfortable in the dead of winter”. You smile lightly, “alright Az, I’ll see you then”. He returns the smile and steps away and lunges to the air. 

“How do you know the Shadowsinger that intimately?” You press your back to the door, heart beating wildly and you’re sure your face is beet red. “You’re not the only one that comes to visit, Eris” he clutches his chest “and I thought what we had was special” and pouts. “It’s like you have a sixth sense for when I’m home alone. Got a little crush?” He scoffs, and you swear you can see his lips straining to lift. “It’s ok if you do, I’m incredibly charming. Not to mention beautiful”. “Humans are not my type” you shrug and wink at him before returning to your room and your chores. 

Washing your skirts, shirts, sweaters and leggings was therapeutic in its own way. The rhythmic scrubbing against the board, the sound of water splashing and sloshing, the suds tickling your forearms and the floral scent of the detergent was enough to ease your mind and keep the ever present panic at bay. When you were done, you returned down stairs and hung the clothes outside. Winter was closer now, but you were hopeful that the first frost of the season would wait until after your clothes were dry. “Are you going to eat?” You jump and clutch at your chest, having forgotten that Eris was here. At his question your stomach grumbles. It must be past midday then. “I could eat”. 

You split a loaf of bread and some soft cheese with Eris. He was not pleased by the rudimentary meal but ate, nonetheless. “Where are you from?” You choke a bit. Not knowing how to answer. “Uhm, I’m from the Southern Continent”. In the first books Jurian showed you there were maps of the world, and a southern continent twice as far as the Continent to the east seemed like a good place to lie about. From what you gathered, Prythian and the other lands North of it had very little knowledge of it, only some stories from explorers or merchants brave enough to face the tempestuous ocean that separated it. He looks surprised “and how did you end up here?” You want to groan, but instead say “oh you know… this and that. There was a boat and a storm and now I’m here” you look at the bread and cheese, making a little sandwich while Eris stares at you. You’re certain he doesn’t believe a word. But you don’t trust him enough to tell the truth, given your involvement with the Night Court and their tumultuous relations with Autumn. “Very convincing story, y/n” you still don’t look at him and are saved from further questioning when Lucien walks through the door.  

The next few weeks fly by. The shop is organized and running smoothly now that you and Muriel have settled on an effective routine. Life with the exiles was as calm as it could be. The occasional discussion between Jurian and Vassa kept things interesting and on some nights you’d sit by the hearth and share stories of your very different lives.

The day before Solstice Lucien winnowed the two of you to Velaris. You had been nervous to see the Inner Circle, namely Rhysand, but not enough to stay away. You had never talked to Lucien about Elain, but you guess that part of the reason why he makes the trip back for the holiday is to see her. And also why both of you are tight lipped and visibly uncomfortable when Feyre opens the door to the River House. 

“Lucien, y/n! I’m so happy you made it!” she exclaims while stepping aside to let you in. You were shaking now, the light coat that kept you more than warm in the Human Lands not nearly thick enough for the Night Court winter. Inside the house is toasty warm though and the smell of something sweet permeates the air. Feyre hugs Lucien and then he leaves, you assume that he’s going to look for Elain. “Thanks for having me,” you tell her, “of course, it has been too long since we’ve seen you” at that her eyes soften, remembering why you haven’t been around. “I’m sorry the portal didn’t work, I believe Gwyn is still working on figuring out what happened”. You shrug “it was difficult to accept at first but now I’m doing better” she brightens “Lucien said you had been working at the apothecary?” You smile and nod “yes, I’ve been learning a lot and getting my hands dirty. I could see myself staying there for a while” she wraps her arm around your shoulders and leads to the main sitting room “I’m glad, y/n. But remember you are always welcome here, Velaris needs apothecaries as well” and nudges you playfully. You laugh. 

Everyone is here: Nesta, Cassian, Rhysand, Elain, Mor, Amren, Gwyn, Nyx and Azriel. Your heart stops when you see him. You say hello to everyone and make a mental note to thank Cassian and Nesta for the box of clothes before you leave again. He stands pin straight as he watches you approach. “Hi” you say, the corners or your mouth perking up as you finish the word. He smiles too “I’m happy you’re here”. You’re about to say something when Mor shouts “everybody better have wine!” After that the night is a blur. 

The pounding in your head reminds you why you haven’t had wine since girls night. A cacophony of groans engulfs the room as banging noises come from the kitchen. You go to place your hands over your ears but something warm and heavy is draped across your middle. You turn your head and see that Lucien is spooning you. Oh god. You turn to look at the other sofa and see Nesta and Gwyn in the same cuddle. Mor is in a fetal position on the floor. What the hell happened.  More banging echoes and you throw Lucien’s arm off you and cover your ears. He wakes up when his hand slaps his face and curses. You push yourself off the sofa and go into the kitchen. Nyx has made an instrument out of a pot and a metal spoon. He laughs when he sees you walk in. I must look like a goblin. “Look Nyxie, one of the sleepy heads is awake” you rub your eyes “his little concert is difficult to sleep through” Feyre picks him up and gives you an apologetic look. “Looks like you all kept the party going after we went to bed” you sit at the kitchen table and rest your head on your hands “I guess we did, but I don’t remember a thing”.  One by one the others join you in your misery at the table. “Where are Azriel, Cassiand and Rhysand?” you ask as breakfast appears. Mor replies “annual snowball fight” like it’s common knowledge, but you are not that curious ask for clarification so you have breakfast and hope you don’t throw up. 

You spend the next few hours sleeping and then getting ready for the actual Solstice celebrations. You had brought your purple long sleeved dress for the occasion, your nicest dress by far. By nightfall everyone was all together again and dressed to the nines. You couldn’t help but notice how good Azriel looked. His hair had grown in the weeks you hadn’t been here. His curls frame his face and give him a boyish look. He wore an all black outfit, the only color from his siphons. He looked at ease, his usual stiffness gone in the comfort of his family. You notice you are staring and look away. “He’s been looking at you all night too” Lucien whispers in your ear. You blush and pick at invisible lint on your dress “shut up”. The group starts exchanging gifts and you watch with amusement as everyone opens Mor’s presents gingerly. You had been warned about her handicap when it came to gift giving. Then the wine starts flowing again. You opt out tonight, wanting to avoid a major hangover, possibly death.

It’s a few hours after midnight when everyone has either gone to bed or passed out. You place blankets over the few that remained on the sofas and floor. Then move to the kitchen and look for cookies. “Smart of you to sit this one out” you jump a little when you hear Azriel’s voice. “I thought you’d be out until morning” he shrugged “I just needed a power nap, I’m as good as new”. You hummed, finding the cookie jar. “Here” you hand Azriel a cookie. You sit in silence for a bit until he says “I got you a present” and he takes a small box out of his jacket pocket. “Oh Az, you didn’t have to do that. I didn’t get anything for you” he shakes his head and pushes the box in front of you “open it”. You wipe your hands on a napkin and begin unwrapping it carefully. You frown, inside the box is your phone. You look at him quizzically, he smiles “turn it on”. You gasp when you press the button and the screen comes to life, a picture of your dog staring back at you. Your eyes well up. “How is this even possible?” He smiles “I don’t know exactly, I took it to the same tinkerer that made Lucien's mechanical eye and they took care of it”. You look from the screen towards him. Tears falling freely now. You set it down on the counter and walk over to him, wrapping  your arms around him in the strongest hug you could muster. “Thank you so much, Az” his arms come to your waist and he hugs you back. You know he can feel your heart beating wildly in that moment, because you can feel his.

taglist: @luvmoo

[imaginesforeveryone]

The Big Fight (Part 2)

Pairing: Bonnie Gold x Y/N Warning: Smut, fluff, swearing Summary: It was the day after your found out your brother had been killed, and Bonnie tried to make you feel better in a special way. 

It was the day after your brother had died, and Bonnie stayed with you the entire time. He woke up in the middle of the night when you woke up crying and you couldn’t be more grateful for him because he did that for you, even thought you barely knew each other. You woke up finally in the morning around 10 am. You felt as if you slept on something hard. You opened your eyes to see a naked chest under your head. Knowing it was Bonnie, you sat up slowly seeing him sleeping soundly. You turned in the bed and put your feet on the cold ground, trying to be as quiet as you could be not to wake him knowing he was up very late with you. You stood up and adjusted you’d night gown as your crossed the room to go into the bathroom. 

“Hey, you okay?” You heard and groggy Bonnie behind you. You turned to see him sitting up in your bed rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Go back to sleep. You were up late.” You told him. 

“No, I’m okay I got plenty of sleep.” He said getting out of your bed only wearing his pants. 

“You were sweating last night so I took my shirt off to make you more comfortable.” He said looking down at his body. 

“Thank you.” You said to him with a small smile.

“Well go ahead and get ready I have something planned for us today.” He said grabbing his shirt and putting it on. 

“Bonnie, I’m really not in the mood for anything, besides laying in my bed.” You told him. 

“Come on, love. It’s nothing big, just trust me. Let me help you.” He said closing the gap between the two of you. 

“Fine.” You said rolling your eyes and going to your closet to get clothes. You grabbed your favorite cozy button down, along with a cozy pair of pants. You went to the bathroom, and changed. 

“This good enough?” You asked Bonnie walking out in the attire you really didn’t try with. 

“Perfect.” He said with a smile. He grabbed your jacket off the back of your door and held it open to help it onto you. You walked to him and put your hands in either arm holes. 

“Alright, let’s go.” He said taking your hand and leading you out your bedroom door then to the front door. 

“Where are you two going?” You heard Polly say from behind you, sitting at the table with Tommy. 

“I’m taking her out to hopefully Chee her up a bit, Miss. Grey.” Bonnie said turning around. 

“You got a gun, son?” Tommy asked standing and walking closer to you two. 

“Yes, Mr. Shelby. She will be safe. I promise you that.” He said. 

“Good, watch for Italians.” He said. 

“Tom, I’m also a Shelby, Remember that.” You said before walking out if the house. Bonnie followed behind you, he walked passed you to open the door to the car for you and then went around the get into the driver seats. He started the car and drove away. 

“Bonnie, Where are we going?” You asked about 20 minutes into your drive. You were now in the fields, just trees and fields all around you. 

“We are almost there. Just hang on a bit longer.” He told you with a smile. You rolled your eyes and looked back out the window, taking in the view of just calmness. Way different then small heath, and London. All of sudden you turned off of the road you have been on for what felt like hours. 

“We are here.” He said with a smile on his face as he parked on the dirt road. You looked out the window and saw a carriage with, a horse. Something you missed from your childhood. You smiled at Bonnie and jumped out of the car so fast. 

“You did this? For me?” You asked rounding the car to look at him .

“Of course I know how gypsies are, and I know what helps them. You need to travel. It’ll help you.” You smiled jumping into his arms and hugging his so tight. After a moment of that, you jumped down. 

“Thank you.” You said smiling up at him. 

“Anytime, love.” He said with a smile. 

“Well should we go?” He asked as you just stood there. You just smiled and ran to the carriage and the horse caught your eye. Beautiful black horse, huge hooves and beautiful hair. You went over and pet it down its back. 

“It’s Tommy’s. He let me take her today.” Bonnie said walking up to you. Well, now you feel like an asshole the way you talked to him before you left. You’re brother actually cared how you were feeling. You two got into the carriage, Bonnie took the reins and you two were off. 

“So where are we going?” You asked looking over at him 

“Its a surprise.” He said with a little giggle at the end. You rolled your eyes and averted your eyes back to the forrest that you rode through. Taking in the beautiful scenery, and remember back to when you were a kid, your brothers all beside you, in the carriage. Before you knew it, the bouncing of the carriage, and the clacking of the horses hooves, soothed you to sleep. About 20 minutes later you felt the carriage come to a halt waking you from your nap. You were leaning up against Bonnie as you awake. 

“Sorry, I don’t know how I fell asleep.” You told him sitting up and stretching. 

“Its no problem. It would put me to sleep to if I hadn’t been on the road as long as you have been.” He said setting the reins down. You looked around and you were in a big field, that had a river running through it. You were posted up right in front of the river. You heard the water splashing up against the walls of the river and the current quickly moving. 

“Gosh, did I miss this.” You said getting out of the carriage and breathing deeply the open, clean air. 

“It looks good on you.” He said looking over at you as you went to pet the horse that pulled you two to the beautiful destination. 

“What does?” You said smiling but not taking your eyes away from the beautiful beast in front of you. 

“This destination. The traveling. The calmness it brings you.” Bonnie said walking up behind you and petting the main of the horse. You smiled as your turned around to look at him. 

“Well, it’s because of you I’m able to do this today.” You said smiling up at him not much space between the two of you.

“Well, I like you y/n. I don like you seeing upset, and I know as a gypsy that hasn’t been on the road in a long time, that could help me through hard times.” He said placing this had on your cheek and rubbing it softly with his touch hands. You closed your eyes relaxing into his hand. 

“Thank you, Bonnie.” You said opening your eyes again slowly, even closer to him than before. 

“Anytime, anywhere, love.” He said before he placed a kiss on your lips. As he started to pull away, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulling him into the kiss again, deepening it. As panting started between the two of you trying to gasp for air between kisses. He took your legs and wrapped them around him and began carrying you. He set you on the opening of the back of the carriage and not detaching his lips from yours. You pulled his jacket off of him and threw it on the ground behind him along with his hat. You moved back further into the carriage to allow him to get in. He hoped up into it, and crawled over to you. 

“You sure you want to do this?” Bonnie asked inches from your face. 

“I’m very, very sure.” You said with a smile. He smiled back at you and quickly helped you out of your jacket. You grabbed ahold of his suspenders of took them off his shoulders and ripped the buttons off his loose white button down exposing his torso to the cool air that blew from the outside into the back of the carriage. Bruises, and cuts, peppered his skin from the fight the day before. Pushing you out of your thoughts, he attached his lips to yours once again and fell back into the pile of pillow and blankets. He ran his hands up your shirt causing goosebumps to form all over your body in ecstasy, not of being cold. You hadn’t been touched in you rodent even know how long. But, Bonnie. Bonnie, made you feel different then just a fuck like you have only ever had. 

As he ran his hand up your torso he removed your shirt and threw it to your side exposing your naked chest to him. He sat up on his knees between your legs to take you in. You smiled at him, and rolled your eyes, sitting up and unbuttoning his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers as far as they could go. After that, you did the same for yourself, but taking them off all the way. Now laid, completely naked and exposed to Bonnie. 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful , Love” He said holding each side of your hips and squeezing. 

“Yeah? Then show me how beautiful I am. Ey?” You said smiling up at him. He grinned down at you and quickly attached his lips to your hard nipples, causing a soft moan to escape from between your lips. You ran your hands through his thick curly hair. After a few moments of him attacking your breasts with his amazing mouth you pulled his lips back yours and attacked his tongue with yours. 

“Fuck me, Bonnie.” You told him as you held eye contact with him. 

“Yes ma’am.” He said before grabbing his cock between the two of your and lining his self up with your entrance. Looking back up at you for confirmation. You just shook your head at him with a smile. As you did so, he slowly slid into you causing a loud groan to exit the both of you. 

“Fuck, Bonnie.” You groaned out lowly. 

“Yeah, you like that love?” He asked looking into your eyes and keeping a slow pace. 

“Fuck yes.” You said arching your chest up to him and he attached himself too your buds. 

“Bonnie. Fuck me harder.” You groaned out as your wrapped your arms around his neck and putting your fingers through the hair on the back of his head. 

“Yeah? You want that love?” He said looking at you. 

“Yes, please Bonnie. Please.” You cried out. As you said he got up on his knees and grabbed ahold of your hips to keep himself steady and to pull you hard into him. He began to pump faster, and faster causing you to grab ahold of his forearms and squeezing. 

“Fuck ‘El, Bonnie. I’m going to cum.” You yelled out feeling a knot form in your stomach. As you spoke those words, Bonnie lifted you up, he still in his knees, his cock not leaving the inside of you, you planted your feet on either side of him now in a squatting position. He began again pouring up into him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, helping you stay upright, but he also had a hand planted right between your shoulder blades, and the other hold one of your ass cheeks. 

“Go ahead love. Cum.” He whispered into your ear and softly kissing your neck and pouring even harder into you. At a lose of words, and breathe you mouth just hung open as your pussy pulsated around his cock. 

“Fuck love. I don’t think I can hold on any longer either with the pussy of yours.” He said. With that you pushed him back so he was on his back, and his head just on the edge of the door to exit the carriage. You sunk deeper onto him now and began rolling your hips on him. 

“Go head, Love. Cum.” You told him. With that he grabbed ahold of your hips and pounded up into you very hard causing another wave to overcome your body. 

“Fuck. I love that cock Bonnie. Your going to make me cum again.” You cried out. 

“Cum with me love.” He said licking his finger and rubbing on your clit causing electricity to pulsate through your body and your walls pulsate around him. 

“Yes, love. Yes. Cum inside of me.” You cried out and with that he did as you did along with him. 

“Fuck.” You said as you fell back onto the pillows and blankets. Feeling Bonnie, climb next to you, and laid down now with his pants pulled back up. He pulled you into him and covered you with a blanket. You laid your head on his chest and closed your eyes. 

“Thank you.” You said lowly. 

“For what Love?” He asked running his fingers up and down your arm. 

“Helping me feel better. Doing all this. Never have had anyone go through this much to just help me feel better.” You said still with your eyes closed. 

“Anytime. Anywhere.” He said kissing the top of your head. Wit that you slowly drifted to sleep.

[elementalladymallorie]

Small Moments and Small Gestures that Make a Home

Chapter 10: Stay Awake

Word Count: 826

Warnings: None

AO3 Link

Sleep is a necessary part of life. It lets us see our dreams, it lets us rest, and it lets us greet a new day rejuvenated. Not all sleep is peaceful though, and sometimes we cannot rest until we know those we love are safe and near.

Luffy never developed a normal sleeping pattern or routine. That was due in one part to Garp’s sporadic training, one-part living in a jungle where a variety of animals had their own sleep cycles and hunting patterns, and one-part Luffy’s just own innate curiosity and boundless energy.  

It wasn’t anything that particularly bothered him or anyone he’d lived with back on Dawn Island. The only thing he had to worry about was making sure he went to sleep when it was night and he tried to get around 5 hours a night. Naps were always available if he couldn’t get enough of course, but when he started his crew, it became more obvious that perhaps the way he was brought up was not the norm when it came to when to sleep, or how many hours to get.   

Zoro seemed to work much the same way he did, only ever getting three hours of solid rest but the swordsman always went to bed when it was four in the morning. He took naps wherever and whenever he wanted though to make up for his, according to Chopper, terrible sleep schedule. Zoro was just being Zoro though, and training as often as he could and making the most of the daylight he had. The only reason Luffy would complain would be because if he decided to join Zoro on one of his naps, they’d likely be on the deck in the middle of the day. That leads to a lot of yelling from Nami or Sanji sometimes, which kind of beats the point of a nap.   

Chopper was a funny case too! Somehow the little reindeer would sleep the most out of everyone on the ship for the night, and still take naps throughout the day as well. The little doctor went to bed the earliest, nine every night and if not interrupted would sleep until he would wake up with Nami and Zoro. It does mean that Chopper’s easy to find at those times though, so Luffy doesn’t have too many complaints.  

His navigator and archeologist are pretty easy to figure out too, they both go to bed at the same time but wake up at different times.  Both went around the eleventh hour of the night, the next earliest of the crew. Robin would wake up an hour before Nami, and then the navigator would come out around the same time as their doctor. They stuck to their routines, and they were only a room away so Luffy’s more than content with that. Even if Nami will attempt to throw something at him whenever he peeks in while Robin laughs but invites him in either way.  

Brook and Sanji also go to bed at the same time, but they get up at the same time as well. He kind of wonders if one wakes the other up because they know it’s the other’s usual time. They both go to bed when the night is half over and get up the earliest, some time before the sun rises. Sanji says it’s to start the preparations for breakfast and a few other meals, while Brook does so to enjoy the sunrise and to help the others wake up with his music. It’s a small window to find them in the night, but it’s more than he gets with Zoro with the bonus of being a good way to know the night is half past.  

Franky and Usopp will stay up too long working on projects or the ship and then having to clean up. They shuffle in after Brook and Sanji and can be pretty noisy when they do, or the smell of whatever chemicals linger and can rouse everyone up. They slept soundly though when they do join them, getting as much sleep as Robin and Name, but Usopp was the only member of their crew that got up alone. The others could complain about it all they wanted, but Luffy was just glad to know there was a way to tell when they came in.  

Jinbei came to bed late as well, only an hour earlier than Zoro would but wakes with Franky. He’s quieter than the rest of the guys can be, and the ocean breeze matches Jinbei’s own scent enough to mask it. One of the only ways Luffy can tell is because somehow the way the Sunny sails seems to change when Jinbei leaves the helm, along with the noise the bunks make whenever someone gets in them. Luffy’s hoping there will be other things he can catch too but it works for now.  

Chopper will complain often about Luffy’s lack of routine, chiding him about how routines help keep them healthy and he should try to get into a schedule. Luffy will just laugh and laugh, waving it way and knowing he knows all his crews’ schedules well enough to work his sleep around theirs, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.  

[acrux-jr]

Replete-P.2

Summary: Mike and you finally go on a date.

Word count: 990

Tags: fluff, chubby! Reader !, age gap (slight)

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Mike stared at the phone, almost burning a hole through it. All of Friday and no text, and now it's Saturday the mid afternoon and still no text.

‘Was I not her type?’ Mike's mood fell a bit but he shook it off. ‘It's also the weekend, I'm sure she worked all week and is probably relaxing.’ 

He was not wrong, you were laying in bed doing a facemask and reading a book. Your phone buzzed.

‘Have you texted Mr. Sexy???’

You rolled your eyebrows at your friends words.

‘No not yet.’

‘:( why not!?’

‘Bc 1 im still thinking it over okay? Hes a big brother of one of the student im sure that like taboo or wtv

2 im nervous okay jeez.’

:| stop being a pussy y/n so what hes a BROTHER, yes the guardian but its not as bad at a parent or a married one at that.

DO IT Y/N!’

The paper was right in front of you, acting as a bookmark. You bit your bottom lip. ‘I mean she has a point, he's not a parent, and not married.’

It still weighed on your mind though. The numbers were burned into the back of your head now from how often you were staring at them.

You huffed a breath out, ‘FUCK IT!’

‘Mike?’

There was an immediate reply. ‘Ms.L/N?’

‘Yes, but y/n is fine :)’

Mike's heart fluttered the tiniest bit at the smiley face.

‘Cool :) y/n it is.’

You giggled and kicked your feet. 

‘So Mike, what do you like to do?’

‘Relax mostly, nothing beats just resting’

‘Are you sure you're not actually over 40?’

‘I am waiting for that age to come so I can just spend it at home and blame it on my age.’

Hours and hours passed by as you learned more about Mike and he learned more about you. A thought popped into your mind as he told you his favorite cartoon.

‘Do you have any plans for tomorrow?’

Mike stared at the text. ‘Holy fuck,’ was what he thought. 

He typed and erased over 3 different messages before landing on something that was fine.

‘No, not much I was gonna run some errands while Abby was with a babysitter since she want to buy like everything.

Why?’

‘Um well if you weren't too busy, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the diner to hang out for a bit.’

Seconds passed, they felt like hours to you though.

‘Yeah that sounds good. 1 sound good?’

‘Yeah perfect :).’

The conversation died down a bit as it was nearing 10 pm, and both of you were busy with cleaning up. You said your goodnights to each other and both slept soundly, dreaming of tomorrow.

The next day rolled around, bright and semi early. It was 10 a.m. you sent Mike a goodmorning, and started for the day. No one was home, so you made a quick breakfast, an omelet, toast, and some fruits for right now before eating lunch with Mike.  

You put a face mask on as you listened to your cassette. You lounged around til 12 to get ready.

You did a brushed out fox eye, with mascara and a little foundation. You had a cashmere crop top and a dark brown folded skirt. You put on a leather jacket and your mary janes. You left hair down, put a soft brown lip liner and red with gloss. You opted for minimal jewelry, just a gold chain.

It was 12: 40, your stomach growled a bit. On your way down you grabbed a snack pack and headed out. You ran back in for your purse and keys, then headed out.

You got there at 12:50, as you looked to your ight you saw Mike already sitting at a both. He smiled and gave an awkward wave, which you found a bit endearing.

You walked to him, he stood up and offered to take your jacket off. You accepted and the two of you sat. 

The silence was a bit awkward. 

Mike tried to break it. “So how long have you been an after-school teacher?”

“Hmm I just started but I did do the summer program for the last years.”

“Oh do you like?”

“Um yeah mostly. There's some bad days of course but that could be said about any job.”

“Yeah that makes sense.”

“What about you, how long have you been a stockman?”

“2 months.” 

“Oh cool. How long have you been working in general?”

“Since I was 16, so about 11 years.”

Silence hung in the air.

“Wait. You're 27?”

Mike nodded his head. “Yeah… why?”

He huffed and laughed, “What are you like 18?”

His smile dropped and eyes widened as you gave a slight nod. “Wait, are you serious?”

Again another nod. “I thought you said you worked the summer program?”

“Yeah, as a volunteer the first year and then from there as a group leader.”

“Wow. Okay.”

You bit your lip. “I'm sorry, I didn't think our age gap was that um wide. I thought you were max 23.”

“I thought you were at least 22.”

The two of you were silent again. 

You're french toast was served as was his sandwich. 

Plates and forks were clinking, as the two of you ate. “So…” Mike trailed off.

“So… if you still want this to continue… I would  as well…”

“Are you sure? It's a whole 9 year difference y/n.” Mike said softly.

You shyly nodded, “Yeah I mean we're both adults, albeit I am newer to it. We can take it slower than usual, so we both feel comfortable.”

Mike looked at you, at your full face as you smiled and how your eyes turned into half moons. You warmed as you noticed his stare. He admired how beautiful you look. 

“Yeah. I'd like that. But slow like really slow y/n.”

You giggled and he smiled at you. 

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Taglist: @kxllanxtdoor @mintyymao @slut4pascal

Hey yall just came out the hospital 🤪 finished up part in the er

[popjunkie42]

Hate Me Instead - Chapter 9

Chapter 9 is up! I was on vacation and ended up not writing at all, so apologies for the slight delay.

This is the second-to-last chapter, and a short one. I promise Chapter 10 will be quite substantial. I'm working on it now and it might take a bit longer to post but I plan to finish by the end of the month.

Question: do you all prefer to read chapters on Tumblr or AO3? I've been posting snippets with a link but let me know if if preferences are strong one way or the other.

Hate Me Instead - Chapter 9, 'Night and Day'

Read the work on AO3

Summary: Feyre deals with her nightmare and feelings about their night together. Rhys offers tea.

Warning: Some depressive suicidal ideation similar to ACOMAF

Snippet:

Feyre didn’t rise that morning. But I knew she wasn’t sleeping.

I had begun to feel the void within her like a physical mass. I could sense it swirling in her room, with her body at the center.

I waited until two hours after breakfast and then I couldn’t take it anymore. I put together a tray from the table, with all the things I had seen her spear onto her plate before and some steaming hot tea. An adequate excuse, I convinced myself.

A light knock on her door got me no answer, but I was determined. I let myself in and slowly walked to the bed in the empty room.

It took me a moment to find Feyre there, swaddled under the blankets as she was. She was curled up on her side, holding a pillow, almost buried entirely under the blankets. Her eyes were closed, puffy, but I could tell by her breathing she wasn’t asleep.

“I thought you might want some breakfast,” I offered, placing the tray on the side table.

Her eyes barely opened to slits. “Thanks,” she mumbled against the pillow. She closed them again.

If it was a dismissal, I decided it wouldn’t work. I wasn’t going anywhere. I gently crawled into bed beside her, her back facing me, moving slow as not to disturb her. I rested my back against the headboard and watched her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I offered with a whisper.

She shook her head.

Of course she didn’t want to talk about it, with me. For a moment I recalled the flash of primal fear from her dream, of Tamlin’s shining teeth and claws and the agitated flicker of his tail before he attacked.

For me, last night had been…well. Fresh as her scent was on my skin, on my sheets, I didn’t know if there were adequate words within me. It would be a time I would lock away in my heart forever. To keep me going just one day longer.

For Feyre, last night was now steeped in betrayal. Her dream had been enough to show me, without looking into her mind now, her shields in tatters.

And it was because of me. Now I had the pleasure of not only witnessing her dark moments but rather being the cause of them. For something I had wanted, something I would treasure. So here I was again, standing on the precipice of Feyre’s despair, coaxing her back, while being a part of the same nightmare that had sent her there.

Monster.

Listening to her soft breaths filling the stillness of the room, I thought: at least I haven’t made her fear my claws. Tamlin was taking, too. He saw her as well, the jutting bones, the dark circles under her eyes. But I wouldn’t leave her. I wouldn’t walk away.

How often was she like this, I wondered? How many days had she spent like this in the Spring Court? Did Tamlin ever sit beside her, hold her? I had plenty of glimpses of her alone in the bathroom, puking up her guts while he slept soundly, or worse, ignored her, behind her in bed. While I watched her, heart breaking, miles away in the Night Court.

How could he sit by and let this happen?

But I didn’t know what she needed, either. Clearly pushing her to anger or annoyance wasn’t the strategy now, with her prone and breathing softly. I gently laid a hand on her back, willing her not to fade away.

After a long while, eyes still shut, she spoke again. Without my fae hearing I don’t know that I would have even heard her whisper into the pillow.

“You don’t have to be here. It’s not your fault.”

“I want to be here. I’m not going anywhere.” I assured her. And I thought maybe she wanted me gone, and didn’t have the energy to even say it.

Maybe I should just let her be. But my heart was beating with terror, and I wouldn’t leave her alone just to fear what would be waiting for me when I finally got the nerve to return.

Another long stretch of silence. 

“When I got back from the war,” I offered, “when we all got back…we were…different. It had been seven years of bloodshed, of cruelty and death. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t even remember who I was, before. How to go back to life without a sword in my hand. To understand who I could become, what I could do, in…circumstances such as that. At war.” I began running my hand up and down her spine in long, soothing strokes. 

“It took a long time. And sometimes it still hurts, even centuries later. But my family, we worked. And we cried and talked and healed and lived. And eventually there were more good days than bad days. I remember sitting one day by the ocean, watching the sun set over the water, and it was just so beautiful. And I was filled with it, felt joy from it.  And I knew I had made it out to the other side.”

Silence. And then,

“I‘ve never seen the ocean,” she said, flat.

“I’ll take you some day. Any time you like.”

It was like I could feel the thought eddy in her mind, only for it to slip into the whirlpool of her despair. Just like that, it was gone.

“It’s okay to be like this sometimes, Feyre. To be sad, to mourn. We went through something terrible. But you can also talk about it. You can face it and come through, now. You can lean on others to help carry the burden.”

“I don’t have anyone. Tam…with, him,” she said, “neither of us want to talk about it. Ever.”

I waited a beat. She had to know.

“You have me,” I offered quietly.

“That’s…it’s complicated,” she huffed.

“It doesn’t have to be. If you need me, I’m here. I’ll listen. Or talk. Or push you, or help you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it. I’m here.”

Read the rest on AO3

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20k Leagues under the sea, Jules Verne

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Chapter 9-10

CHAPTER IX

NED LAND’S TEMPERS

How long we slept I do not know; but our sleep must have lasted long, for it rested us completely from our fatigues. I woke first. My companions had not moved, and were still stretched in their corner.

Hardly roused from my somewhat hard couch, I felt my brain freed, my mind clear. I then began an attentive examination of our cell. Nothing was changed inside. The prison was still a prison,—the prisoners, prisoners. However, the steward, during our sleep, had cleared the table. I breathed with difficulty. The heavy air seemed to oppress my lungs. Although the cell was large, we had evidently consumed a great part of the oxygen that it contained. Indeed, each man consumes, in one hour, the oxygen contained in more than 176 pints of air, and this air, charged (as then) with a nearly equal quantity of carbonic acid, becomes unbreathable.

It became necessary to renew the atmosphere of our prison, and no doubt the whole in the submarine boat. That gave rise to a question in my mind. How would the commander of this floating dwelling-place proceed? Would he obtain air by chemical means, in getting by heat the oxygen contained in chlorate of potash, and in absorbing carbonic acid by caustic potash? Or, a more convenient, economical, and consequently more probable alternative, would he be satisfied to rise and take breath at the surface of the water, like a cetacean, and so renew for twenty-four hours the atmospheric provision?

In fact, I was already obliged to increase my respirations to eke out of this cell the little oxygen it contained, when suddenly I was refreshed by a current of pure air, and perfumed with saline emanations. It was an invigorating sea breeze, charged with iodine. I opened my mouth wide, and my lungs saturated themselves with fresh particles.

At the same time I felt the boat rolling. The iron-plated monster had evidently just risen to the surface of the ocean to breathe, after the fashion of whales. I found out from that the mode of ventilating the boat.

When I had inhaled this air freely, I sought the conduit-pipe, which conveyed to us the beneficial whiff, and I was not long in finding it. Above the door was a ventilator, through which volumes of fresh air renewed the impoverished atmosphere of the cell.

I was making my observations, when Ned and Conseil awoke almost at the same time, under the influence of this reviving air. They rubbed their eyes, stretched themselves, and were on their feet in an instant.

“Did master sleep well?” asked Conseil, with his usual politeness.

“Very well, my brave boy. And you, Mr. Land?”

“Soundly, Professor. But I don’t know if I am right or not; there seems to be a sea breeze!”

A seaman could not be mistaken, and I told the Canadian all that had passed during his sleep.

“Good!” said he; “that accounts for those roarings we heard, when the supposed narwhal sighted the Abraham Lincoln.”

“Quite so, Master Land; it was taking breath.”

“Only, Mr. Aronnax, I have no idea what o’clock it is, unless it is dinner-time.”

“Dinner-time! my good fellow? Say rather breakfast-time, for we certainly have begun another day.”

“So,” said Conseil, “we have slept twenty-four hours?”

“That is my opinion.”

“I will not contradict you,” replied Ned Land. “But dinner or breakfast, the steward will be welcome, whichever he brings.”

“Master Land, we must conform to the rules on board, and I suppose our appetites are in advance of the dinner hour.”

“That is just like you, friend Conseil,” said Ned, impatiently. “You are never out of temper, always calm; you would return thanks before grace, and die of hunger rather than complain!”

Time was getting on, and we were fearfully hungry; and this time the steward did not appear. It was rather too long to leave us, if they really had good intentions towards us. Ned Land, tormented by the cravings of hunger, got still more angry; and, notwithstanding his promise, I dreaded an explosion when he found himself with one of the crew.

For two hours more Ned Land’s temper increased; he cried, he shouted, but in vain. The walls were deaf. There was no sound to be heard in the boat: all was still as death. It did not move, for I should have felt the trembling motion of the hull under the influence of the screw. Plunged in the depths of the waters, it belonged no longer to earth:—this silence was dreadful.

I felt terrified, Conseil was calm, Ned Land roared.

Just then a noise was heard outside. Steps sounded on the metal flags. The locks were turned, the door opened, and the steward appeared.

Before I could rush forward to stop him, the Canadian had thrown him down, and held him by the throat. The steward was choking under the grip of his powerful hand.

Conseil was already trying to unclasp the harpooner’s hand from his half-suffocated victim, and I was going to fly to the rescue, when suddenly I was nailed to the spot by hearing these words in French—

“Be quiet, Master Land; and you, Professor, will you be so good as to listen to me?”

CHAPTER X

THE MAN OF THE SEAS

It was the commander of the vessel who thus spoke.

At these words, Ned Land rose suddenly. The steward, nearly strangled, tottered out on a sign from his master; but such was the power of the commander on board, that not a gesture betrayed the resentment which this man must have felt towards the Canadian. Conseil, interested in spite of himself, I stupefied, awaited in silence the result of this scene.

The commander, leaning against the corner of a table with his arms folded, scanned us with profound attention. Did he hesitate to speak? Did he regret the words which he had just spoken in French? One might almost think so.

After some moments of silence, which not one of us dreamed of breaking, “Gentlemen,” said he, in a calm and penetrating voice, “I speak French, English, German, and Latin equally well. I could, therefore, have answered you at our first interview, but I wished to know you first, then to reflect. The story told by each one, entirely agreeing in the main points, convinced me of your identity. I know now that chance has brought before me M. Pierre Aronnax, Professor of Natural History at the Museum of Paris, entrusted with a scientific mission abroad, Conseil, his servant, and Ned Land, of Canadian origin, harpooner on board the frigate Abraham Lincoln of the navy of the United States of America.”

I bowed assent. It was not a question that the commander put to me. Therefore there was no answer to be made. This man expressed himself with perfect ease, without any accent. His sentences were well turned, his words clear, and his fluency of speech remarkable. Yet, I did not recognise in him a fellow-countryman.

He continued the conversation in these terms:

“You have doubtless thought, sir, that I have delayed long in paying you this second visit. The reason is that, your identity recognised, I wished to weigh maturely what part to act towards you. I have hesitated much. Most annoying circumstances have brought you into the presence of a man who has broken all the ties of humanity. You have come to trouble my existence.”

“Unintentionally!” said I.

“Unintentionally?” replied the stranger, raising his voice a little; “was it unintentionally that the Abraham Lincoln pursued me all over the seas? Was it unintentionally that you took passage in this frigate? Was it unintentionally that your cannon balls rebounded off the plating of my vessel? Was it unintentionally that Mr. Ned Land struck me with his harpoon?���

I detected a restrained irritation in these words. But to these recriminations I had a very natural answer to make and I made it.

“Sir,” said I, “no doubt you are ignorant of the discussions which have taken place concerning you in America and Europe. You do not know that divers accidents, caused by collisions with your submarine machine, have excited public feeling in the two continents. I omit the hypotheses without number by which it was sought to explain the inexplicable phenomenon of which you alone possess the secret. But you must understand that, in pursuing you over the high seas of the Pacific, the Abraham Lincoln believed itself to be chasing some powerful sea-monster, of which it was necessary to rid the ocean at any price.”

A half-smile curled the lips of the commander: then, in a calmer tone—

“M. Aronnax,” he replied, “dare you affirm that your frigate would not as soon have pursued and cannonaded a submarine boat as a monster?”

This question embarrassed me, for certainly Captain Farragut might not have hesitated. He might have thought it his duty to destroy a contrivance of this kind, as he would a gigantic narwhal.

“You understand then, sir,” continued the stranger, “that I have the right to treat you as enemies?”

I answered nothing, purposely. For what good would it be to discuss such a proposition, when force could destroy the best arguments?

“I have hesitated some time,” continued the commander; “nothing obliged me to show you hospitality. If I chose to separate myself from you, I should have no interest in seeing you again; I could place you upon the deck of this vessel which has served you as a refuge, I could sink beneath the waters, and forget that you had ever existed. Would not that be my right?”

“It might be the right of a savage,” I answered, “but not that of a civilised man.”

“Professor,” replied the commander, quickly, “I am not what you call a civilised man! I have done with society entirely, for reasons which I alone have the right of appreciating. I do not therefore obey its laws, and I desire you never to allude to them before me again!”

This was said plainly. A flash of anger and disdain kindled in the eyes of the Unknown, and I had a glimpse of a terrible past in the life of this man. Not only had he put himself beyond the pale of human laws, but he had made himself independent of them, free in the strictest acceptation of the word, quite beyond their reach! Who then would dare to pursue him at the bottom of the sea, when, on its surface, he defied all attempts made against him? What vessel could resist the shock of his submarine monitor? What cuirass, however thick, could withstand the blows of his spur? No man could demand from him an account of his actions; God, if he believed in one—his conscience, if he had one—were the sole judges to whom he was answerable.

These reflections crossed my mind rapidly, whilst the stranger personage was silent, absorbed, and as if wrapped up in himself. I regarded him with fear mingled with interest, as doubtless, Œdipus regarded the Sphinx.

After rather a long silence, the commander resumed the conversation.

“I have hesitated,” said he, “but I have thought that my interest might be reconciled with that pity to which every human being has a right. You will remain on board my vessel, since fate has cast you there. You will be free; and, in exchange for this liberty, I shall only impose one single condition. Your word of honour to submit to it will suffice.”

“Speak, sir,” I answered. “I suppose this condition is one which a man of honour may accept?”

“Yes, sir; it is this. It is possible that certain events, unforeseen, may oblige me to consign you to your cabins for some hours or some days, as the case may be. As I desire never to use violence, I expect from you, more than all the others, a passive obedience. In thus acting, I take all the responsibility: I acquit you entirely, for I make it an impossibility for you to see what ought not to be seen. Do you accept this condition?”

Then things took place on board which, to say the least, were singular, and which ought not to be seen by people who were not placed beyond the pale of social laws. Amongst the surprises which the future was preparing for me, this might not be the least.

“We accept,” I answered; “only I will ask your permission, sir, to address one question to you—one only.”

“Speak, sir.”

“You said that we should be free on board.”

“Entirely.”

“I ask you, then, what you mean by this liberty?”

“Just the liberty to go, to come, to see, to observe even all that passes here,—save under rare circumstances,—the liberty, in short, which we enjoy ourselves, my companions and I.”

It was evident that we did not understand one another.

“Pardon me, sir,” I resumed, “but this liberty is only what every prisoner has of pacing his prison. It cannot suffice us.”

“It must suffice you, however.”

“What! we must renounce for ever seeing our country, our friends, our relations again?”

“Yes, sir. But to renounce that unendurable worldly yoke which men believe to be liberty, is not perhaps so painful as you think.”

“Well,” exclaimed Ned Land, “never will I give my word of honour not to try to escape.”

“I did not ask you for your word of honour, Master Land,” answered the commander, coldly.

“Sir,” I replied, beginning to get angry in spite of myself, “you abuse your situation towards us; it is cruelty.”

“No, sir, it is clemency. You are my prisoners of war. I keep you, when I could, by a word, plunge you into the depths of the ocean. You attacked me. You came to surprise a secret which no man in the world must penetrate,—the secret of my whole existence. And you think that I am going to send you back to that world which must know me no more? Never! In retaining you, it is not you whom I guard—it is myself.”

These words indicated a resolution taken on the part of the commander, against which no arguments would prevail.

“So, sir,” I rejoined, “you give us simply the choice between life and death?”

“Simply.”

“My friends,” said I, “to a question thus put, there is nothing to answer. But no word of honour binds us to the master of this vessel.”

“None, sir,” answered the Unknown.

Then, in a gentler tone, he continued—

“Now, permit me to finish what I have to say to you. I know you, M. Aronnax. You and your companions will not, perhaps, have so much to complain of in the chance which has bound you to my fate. You will find amongst the books which are my favourite study the work which you have published on ‘the depths of the sea.’ I have often read it. You have carried out your work as far as terrestrial science permitted you. But you do not know all—you have not seen all. Let me tell you then, Professor, that you will not regret the time passed on board my vessel. You are going to visit the land of marvels.”

These words of the commander had a great effect upon me. I cannot deny it. My weak point was touched; and I forgot, for a moment, that the contemplation of these sublime subjects was not worth the loss of liberty. Besides, I trusted to the future to decide this grave question. So I contented myself with saying—

“By what name ought I to address you?”

“Sir,” replied the commander, “I am nothing to you but Captain Nemo; and you and your companions are nothing to me but the passengers of the Nautilus.”

Captain Nemo called. A steward appeared. The captain gave him his orders in that strange language which I did not understand. Then, turning towards the Canadian and Conseil—

“A repast awaits you in your cabin,” said he. “Be so good as to follow this man.

“And now, M. Aronnax, our breakfast is ready. Permit me to lead the way.”

“I am at your service, Captain.”

I followed Captain Nemo; and as soon as I had passed through the door, I found myself in a kind of passage lighted by electricity, similar to the waist of a ship. After we had proceeded a dozen yards, a second door opened before me.

I then entered a dining-room, decorated and furnished in severe taste. High oaken sideboards, inlaid with ebony, stood at the two extremities of the room, and upon their shelves glittered china, porcelain, and glass of inestimable value. The plate on the table sparkled in the rays which the luminous ceiling shed around, while the light was tempered and softened by exquisite paintings.

In the centre of the room was a table richly laid out. Captain Nemo indicated the place I was to occupy.

The breakfast consisted of a certain number of dishes, the contents of which were furnished by the sea alone; and I was ignorant of the nature and mode of preparation of some of them. I acknowledged that they were good, but they had a peculiar flavour, which I easily became accustomed to. These different aliments appeared to me to be rich in phosphorus, and I thought they must have a marine origin.

Captain Nemo looked at me. I asked him no questions, but he guessed my thoughts, and answered of his own accord the questions which I was burning to address to him.

“The greater part of these dishes are unknown to you,” he said to me. “However, you may partake of them without fear. They are wholesome and nourishing. For a long time I have renounced the food of the earth, and am never ill now. My crew, who are healthy, are fed on the same food.”

“So,” said I, “all these eatables are the produce of the sea?”

“Yes, Professor, the sea supplies all my wants. Sometimes I cast my nets in tow, and I draw them in ready to break. Sometimes I hunt in the midst of this element, which appears to be inaccessible to man, and quarry the game which dwells in my submarine forests. My flocks, like those of Neptune’s old shepherds, graze fearlessly in the immense prairies of the ocean. I have a vast property there, which I cultivate myself, and which is always sown by the hand of the Creator of all things.”

“I can understand perfectly, sir, that your nets furnish excellent fish for your table; I can understand also that you hunt aquatic game in your submarine forests; but I cannot understand at all how a particle of meat, no matter how small, can figure in your bill of fare.”

“This, which you believe to be meat, Professor, is nothing else than fillet of turtle. Here are also some dolphins’ livers, which you take to be ragout of pork. My cook is a clever fellow, who excels in dressing these various products of the ocean. Taste all these dishes. Here is a preserve of holothuria, which a Malay would declare to be unrivalled in the world; here is a cream, of which the milk has been furnished by the cetacea, and the sugar by the great fucus of the North Sea; and lastly, permit me to offer you some preserve of anemones, which is equal to that of the most delicious fruits.”

I tasted, more from curiosity than as a connoisseur, whilst Captain Nemo enchanted me with his extraordinary stories.

“You like the sea, Captain?”

“Yes; I love it! The sea is everything. It covers seven-tenths of the terrestrial globe. Its breath is pure and healthy. It is an immense desert, where man is never lonely, for he feels life stirring on all sides. The sea is only the embodiment of a supernatural and wonderful existence. It is nothing but love and emotion; it is the ‘Living Infinite,’ as one of your poets has said. In fact, Professor, Nature manifests herself in it by her three kingdoms, mineral, vegetable, and animal. The sea is the vast reservoir of Nature. The globe began with sea, so to speak; and who knows if it will not end with it? In it is supreme tranquillity. The sea does not belong to despots. Upon its surface men can still exercise unjust laws, fight, tear one another to pieces, and be carried away with terrestrial horrors. But at thirty feet below its level, their reign ceases, their influence is quenched, and their power disappears. Ah! sir, live—live in the bosom of the waters! There only is independence! There I recognise no masters! There I am free!”

Captain Nemo suddenly became silent in the midst of this enthusiasm, by which he was quite carried away. For a few moments he paced up and down, much agitated. Then he became more calm, regained his accustomed coldness of expression, and turning towards me—

“Now, Professor,” said he, “if you wish to go over the Nautilus, I am at your service.”

Captain Nemo rose. I followed him. A double door, contrived at the back of the dining-room, opened, and I entered a room equal in dimensions to that which I had just quitted.

It was a library. High pieces of furniture, of black violet ebony inlaid with brass, supported upon their wide shelves a great number of books uniformly bound. They followed the shape of the room, terminating at the lower part in huge divans, covered with brown leather, which were curved, to afford the greatest comfort. Light movable desks, made to slide in and out at will, allowed one to rest one’s book while reading. In the centre stood an immense table, covered with pamphlets, amongst which were some newspapers, already of old date. The electric light flooded everything; it was shed from four unpolished globes half sunk in the volutes of the ceiling. I looked with real admiration at this room, so ingeniously fitted up, and I could scarcely believe my eyes.

“Captain Nemo,” said I to my host, who had just thrown himself on one of the divans, “this is a library which would do honour to more than one of the continental palaces, and I am absolutely astounded when I consider that it can follow you to the bottom of the seas.”

“Where could one find greater solitude or silence, Professor?” replied Captain Nemo. “Did your study in the Museum afford you such perfect quiet?”

“No, sir; and I must confess that it is a very poor one after yours. You must have six or seven thousand volumes here.”

“Twelve thousand, M. Aronnax. These are the only ties which bind me to the earth. But I had done with the world on the day when my Nautilus plunged for the first time beneath the waters. That day I bought my last volumes, my last pamphlets, my last papers, and from that time I wish to think that men no longer think or write. These books, Professor, are at your service besides, and you can make use of them freely.”

I thanked Captain Nemo, and went up to the shelves of the library. Works on science, morals, and literature abounded in every language; but I did not see one single work on political economy; that subject appeared to be strictly proscribed. Strange to say, all these books were irregularly arranged, in whatever language they were written; and this medley proved that the Captain of the Nautilus must have read indiscriminately the books which he took up by chance.

“Sir,” said I to the Captain, “I thank you for having placed this library at my disposal. It contains treasures of science, and I shall profit by them.”

“This room is not only a library,” said Captain Nemo, “it is also a smoking-room.”

“A smoking-room!” I cried. “Then one may smoke on board?”

“Certainly.”

“Then, sir, I am forced to believe that you have kept up a communication with Havannah.”

“Not any,” answered the Captain. “Accept this cigar, M. Aronnax; and, though it does not come from Havannah, you will be pleased with it, if you are a connoisseur.”

I took the cigar which was offered me; its shape recalled the London ones, but it seemed to be made of leaves of gold. I lighted it at a little brazier, which was supported upon an elegant bronze stem, and drew the first whiffs with the delight of a lover of smoking who has not smoked for two days.

“It is excellent, but it is not tobacco.”

“No!” answered the Captain, “this tobacco comes neither from Havannah nor from the East. It is a kind of sea-weed, rich in nicotine, with which the sea provides me, but somewhat sparingly.”

At that moment Captain Nemo opened a door which stood opposite to that by which I had entered the library, and I passed into an immense drawing-room splendidly lighted.

It was a vast four-sided room, thirty feet long, eighteen wide, and fifteen high. A luminous ceiling, decorated with light arabesques, shed a soft clear light over all the marvels accumulated in this museum. For it was in fact a museum, in which an intelligent and prodigal hand had gathered all the treasures of nature and art, with the artistic confusion which distinguishes a painter’s studio.

Thirty first-rate pictures, uniformly framed, separated by bright drapery, ornamented the walls, which were hung with tapestry of severe design. I saw works of great value, the greater part of which I had admired in the special collections of Europe, and in the exhibitions of paintings. The several schools of the old masters were represented by a Madonna of Raphael, a Virgin of Leonardo da Vinci, a nymph of Corregio, a woman of Titan, an Adoration of Veronese, an Assumption of Murillo, a portrait of Holbein, a monk of Velasquez, a martyr of Ribera, a fair of Rubens, two Flemish landscapes of Teniers, three little “genre” pictures of Gerard Dow, Metsu, and Paul Potter, two specimens of Géricault and Prudhon, and some sea-pieces of Backhuysen and Vernet. Amongst the works of modern painters were pictures with the signatures of Delacroix, Ingres, Decamps, Troyon, Meissonier, Daubigny, etc.; and some admirable statues in marble and bronze, after the finest antique models, stood upon pedestals in the corners of this magnificent museum. Amazement, as the Captain of the Nautilus had predicted, had already begun to take possession of me.

“Professor,” said this strange man, “you must excuse the unceremonious way in which I receive you, and the disorder of this room.”

“Sir,” I answered, “without seeking to know who you are, I recognise in you an artist.”

“An amateur, nothing more, sir. Formerly I loved to collect these beautiful works created by the hand of man. I sought them greedily, and ferreted them out indefatigably, and I have been able to bring together some objects of great value. These are my last souvenirs of that world which is dead to me. In my eyes, your modern artists are already old; they have two or three thousand years of existence; I confound them in my own mind. Masters have no age.”

“And these musicians?” said I, pointing out some works of Weber, Rossini, Mozart, Beethoven, Haydn, Meyerbeer, Hérold, Wagner, Auber, Gounod, and a number of others, scattered over a large model piano-organ which occupied one of the panels of the drawing-room.

“These musicians,” replied Captain Nemo, “are the contemporaries of Orpheus; for in the memory of the dead all chronological differences are effaced; and I am dead, Professor; as much dead as those of your friends who are sleeping six feet under the earth!”

Captain Nemo was silent, and seemed lost in a profound reverie. I contemplated him with deep interest, analysing in silence the strange expression of his countenance. Leaning on his elbow against an angle of a costly mosaic table, he no longer saw me,—he had forgotten my presence.

I did not disturb this reverie, and continued my observation of the curiosities which enriched this drawing-room.

Under elegant glass cases, fixed by copper rivets, were classed and labelled the most precious productions of the sea which had ever been presented to the eye of a naturalist. My delight as a professor may be conceived.

The division containing the zoophytes presented the most curious specimens of the two groups of polypi and echinodermes. In the first group, the tubipores, were gorgones arranged like a fan, soft sponges of Syria, ises of the Moluccas, pennatules, an admirable virgularia of the Norwegian seas, variegated unbellulairæ, alcyonariæ, a whole series of madrepores, which my master Milne Edwards has so cleverly classified, amongst which I remarked some wonderful flabellinæ oculinæ of the Island of Bourbon, the “Neptune’s car” of the Antilles, superb varieties of corals—in short, every species of those curious polypi of which entire islands are formed, which will one day become continents. Of the echinodermes, remarkable for their coating of spines, asteri, sea-stars, pantacrinæ, comatules, astérophons, echini, holothuri, etc., represented individually a complete collection of this group.

A somewhat nervous conchyliologist would certainly have fainted before other more numerous cases, in which were classified the specimens of molluscs. It was a collection of inestimable value, which time fails me to describe minutely. Amongst these specimens I will quote from memory only the elegant royal hammer-fish of the Indian Ocean, whose regular white spots stood out brightly on a red and brown ground, an imperial spondyle, bright-coloured, bristling with spines, a rare specimen in the European museums—(I estimated its value at not less than £1000); a common hammer-fish of the seas of New Holland, which is only procured with difficulty; exotic buccardia of Senegal; fragile white bivalve shells, which a breath might shatter like a soap-bubble; several varieties of the aspirgillum of Java, a kind of calcareous tube, edged with leafy folds, and much debated by amateurs; a whole series of trochi, some a greenish-yellow, found in the American seas, others a reddish-brown, natives of Australian waters; others from the Gulf of Mexico, remarkable for their imbricated shell; stellari found in the Southern Seas; and last, the rarest of all, the magnificent spur of New Zealand; and every description of delicate and fragile shells to which science has given appropriate names.

Apart, in separate compartments, were spread out chaplets of pearls of the greatest beauty, which reflected the electric light in little sparks of fire; pink pearls, torn from the pinna-marina of the Red Sea; green pearls of the haliotyde iris; yellow, blue and black pearls, the curious productions of the divers molluscs of every ocean, and certain mussels of the water-courses of the North; lastly, several specimens of inestimable value which had been gathered from the rarest pintadines. Some of these pearls were larger than a pigeon’s egg, and were worth as much, and more than that which the traveller Tavernier sold to the Shah of Persia for three millions, and surpassed the one in the possession of the Imaum of Muscat, which I had believed to be unrivalled in the world.

Therefore, to estimate the value of this collection was simply impossible. Captain Nemo must have expended millions in the acquirement of these various specimens, and I was thinking what source he could have drawn from, to have been able thus to gratify his fancy for collecting, when I was interrupted by these words—

“You are examining my shells, Professor? Unquestionably they must be interesting to a naturalist; but for me they have a far greater charm, for I have collected them all with my own hand, and there is not a sea on the face of the globe which has escaped my researches.”

“I can understand, Captain, the delight of wandering about in the midst of such riches. You are one of those who have collected their treasures themselves. No museum in Europe possesses such a collection of the produce of the ocean. But if I exhaust all my admiration upon it, I shall have none left for the vessel which carries it. I do not wish to pry into your secrets; but I must confess that this Nautilus, with the motive power which is confined in it, the contrivances which enable it to be worked, the powerful agent which propels it, all excite my curiosity to the highest pitch. I see suspended on the walls of this room instruments of whose use I am ignorant.”

“You will find these same instruments in my own room, Professor, where I shall have much pleasure in explaining their use to you. But first come and inspect the cabin which is set apart for your own use. You must see how you will be accommodated on board the Nautilus.”

I followed Captain Nemo, who, by one of the doors opening from each panel of the drawing-room, regained the waist. He conducted me towards the bow, and there I found, not a cabin, but an elegant room, with a bed, dressing-table, and several other pieces of furniture.

I could only thank my host.

“Your room adjoins mine,” said he, opening a door, “and mine opens into the drawing-room that we have just quitted.”

I entered the Captain’s room: it had a severe, almost a monkish, aspect. A small iron bedstead, a table, some articles for the toilet; the whole lighted by a skylight. No comforts, the strictest necessaries only.

Captain Nemo pointed to a seat.

“Be so good as to sit down,” he said. I seated myself, and he began thus:

Captain Nemo’s state-room

NEXT >>

[aqua-loves-writing]

Chapter 3 part 2 is here!

Part 2: Among the rocks

Late into the night, the guards brought the prisoners back into their cells. Only a few windows showed off the starless night, a cold breeze flowing through the stony halls. When everyone was able to go to sleep at last, Alice kept mining all alone, a guard watching her.

“Phew,” she brushed the sweat off her forehead, “One sack left.”

She looked back at the guard, dozed off on a small stool.

“Hm,” she slowly put the pickax on the ground , it didn’t wake him up, “Good.”

She sat down, slowly moving her chains.

Finally, a break. Man, this took hours, I hope Mister Miroslav is alright. Some guards took him somewhere. I hope they didn’t do anything…but will hope change anything? What even caused him to act like that earlier? He was looking for something, but what? Hm, maybe I could.

Carefully holding the chains in her hands, she looked around the ground looking for anything unusual, the guard didn’t even flinch. He slept soundly like a baby, but lacking any and all charms of one.

Hm, let’s see. Rocks, rocks, pickax, rocks, ugh a cigarette, of course Rocks, rocks, rocks, great not a rock, a pebble. Yup, this surely won’t take a while

“Whoa,” she didn’t notice the ax on the ground and almost tripped and fell. “Phew, that was close-”

But she dropped the chains, making a loud noise causing the guard to wake up from his beauty  sleep.

“Ugh-what?!”

“Shoot,” she bit her lip.

“You,” the guard stomped his way to her, sword in his hand, “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Don’t tell me you were trying to escape?”

“Oh me? As if. I was trying to…look for rocks on the ground to fill the sack with, that’s all. They’re small, but could still be practical for…whatever it is that people use this for.

“...Really?”

“Yes, see,” she picked several rocks from the ground, in different sizes, “These will fill up the sack in seconds.”

“...Fine,” he went back to sit on the stool, this time fully awake, watching her every single step.

“Go on,” he hit the ground with his sword, “Work.”

Clenching her fists, she forced a smile on her face, “Of course, oh most hardworking of guards.”

These damn things.

She looked back at the chains around her legs as she worked, her expression cold, filled with rage. She almost let out a large flame but she concealed them, like every other time this happened.

Every night, I go to sleep, I have this dream. It starts with those shadowy figures, their empty white eyes staring at me. They call me names, threaten me, and I’d try to run away, but no matter how much I’d try to run, they’d pull my hair and body, always capturing me in the end. I’d try to use my flames to fly away, but then, the chains. They’d suddenly appear around my legs, and a shock was spread throughout my body. It wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t move, all I could do was scream. Then I’d wake up, in that cold small cell. When I first woke up from that dream, I cried, I cried and cried for hours. It’s been so long since the last time I cried…I need to keep looking.

“Tch, hurry it up, I don’t have time for this. I need to prepare for his arrival. Spirits, just thinking about the boss complaining about it is annoying.

“Alright, I got it-”

“He is coming next month!? And he is acting like he’s coming in 10 minutes. He’s an imperial vassal and what not, but so what-”

Yeah, I’m not going to listen anymore.

The guard’s incessant complaining did fast up the mining process in one way or the other.

Who the heck is he even talking about? Imperial vassal? You know what? I don’t care, I need to finish this-huh?

Among the same black rocks covering the same muddy ground, she saw a small shine. It was different from how the rocks shined, it was small and silver,you could mistake it for a small star that fell from the sky.

Could that be it?

She carefully went closer to it, without the guard taking notice.

A necklace?

Crouching down, she found a small necklace with an old and rusty locket attached to it.

I think this was where he fell earlier today, so this must be it! I wonder what’s inside.

Opening it up, she saw two small black and white pictures. On the right, was a young woman, wearing a beautiful gown, and on the left two kids, a young boy, looking embarrassed to take a new picture, and a small girl next to him picking a booger off her nose.

Huh. Who are these people? Are they his family? I haven’t seen these types of pictures before, but they seem quite old. I know Mister Miroslav was here before me, but for how long exactly? Years? Decades? How long has it been since he has last seen them? 

The more she thought about it, the more it ached her.

“The hell you're doing over there,” the guard yelled.

“Oh,” she hid the necklace in her pocket, “Nothing, was just about to mine the rocks here. Heh”

“...Well, as I was saying, he-”

—

After an hour or so of mining, collecting and having to bear more complaining, she finally finished and left the mines, the guard pointing a sword at her back

“Why the hell should we clean up the food storage, he is going on a pilgrimage for crying out loud and they think he’d check on our bread?! Why type of…”

Just a few more minutes Alice, a few more minutes.

She carefully walked around the mines, holding the chains and watching for the things on the ground. Her guard wasn’t as careful as he tripped, the sword almost hitting him, but it landed next to him instead.

“Oh, too bad,” she walked off leaving him lying down on the ground.

Finally, free from that guy. Now I can find Mister Miroslav and give this to…him

When she left the mines, she entered a large room, filled with loong wooden tables and a small cafeteria on the side. But those weren’t noticeable by all the guards tossing and moving across the place, the prisoner barely catching up to them. They all carried various things, saying things that barely made any sense.

“What…is going on?”

“You brat, what the hell do you think you’re doing…what is going on?”

“Graham,” a guard carrying large paper scrolls said, “Thank the spirits you’re here, leave this girl and help-”

“Whoa, wait, what is going on?”

“Didn’t anyone tell you? The plan’s changed. He’s not going to come next month, it’s next week!”

“...Next week. Next week? Next week the Knight of Miracles is going to come!?”

“Oh, don’t complain to me.”

“Son of a-brat,” he pushed Alice away, “Pick up a broom or whatever, I really don’t have time for this…”

“Uh, fine oh so daring knight,” she picked up a cloth and bucket and began cleaning up the floor along with several other prisoners.

“Tch, what’s the big deal anyway,” she overheard two prisoners gossiping, “Who even is this Knight of Mightiness or whatever.”

“It’s the Knight of Miracles, actually, he’s the newest member of the imperial ambassadors and apparently the most powerful and loved one?”

“Oh really? Do tell.”

“Nobody knows who he is or where he came from, but around two years ago, he appeared in front of the emperor himself and became his most respected soldier since that day. Heck, he was chosen to fulfill the ancient summoning!”

“The-the ancient summoning?! Him? Damn! What did he do to get all that? Quell thousands of beasts or something?”

“Even better, he discovered a completely new type of magi for the first time in 

“Oi, who’s talking over there?!”

The two prisoners immediately shut their mouths and scrubbed the floor faster.

Yeah, I don’t really care about the Unian government for all of this.

“The people could spell trouble,” a hand touched her shoulder, “I suggest you distance yourself from them

She happily turned around “Mister! You’re alright!”

“Heh, for now. How was it? I must apologize for causing you to work so hard for so long.”

“Eh, could have been worse, that guy over there either complained or slept through his shift, so I was able to relax a bit.

“I see,” he had a tired look to his smile, “Still, you need to be more careful not to upset them any further, you know what they’re like, who knows how differently yesterday could have gone.”

“Yeah-oh, about yesterday,” she looked around to see the guards not paying attention to them, “While I was in the mines I looked around and found this.”

“Found what-”

“Ta-da, a necklace!,”

While she joyfully showed him it, his reaction was the exact opposite of any sort of joy

“I found it near some rocks and it was hard to notice at first. It’s really old and also charming, and the pictures inside are nice too. That woman was beautiful and that one boy had a funny look on his face. Are they your family-”

“Give it back!”

He grabbed it off her hands, startling her and everyone else when he screamed. She looked up to see a horrified look to his face. He looked at her with anger and fear, holding the necklace to his beating chest. He then straightened his back seeing what he had done.

“Mister-”

“Oh, what’s going on this time!”

The guards took quick notice of his weird behavior, “You  two again? How many time do we have to tell you people this, you either work, or you die.”

“But,” before she was able to say anything, Miroslav let out his arm, stopping her from taking another step.

“Please, don’t blame her, it was all on me, We’ll get back to work this second.”

“Tch you better, and that counts for everyone here, get back to work!”

When the guard left, Alice tried reaching out to Miroslav, but he walked away, quietly muttering under his breath, “I’m sorry, and thank you.”

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment of 2024 day "ghost and spider"

-_- So I slept about from 12:30 ish till idk I woke up sweaty, tried to sleep, couldn't felt way too hot and gross.

Got up, stood in front of the fan, turned the heater in my bathroom off completely that bitch is still trying to run when it's 27 degrees in here...

So my shower is full of drying clothes+, and my hair was oily from sweating, so i washed my hair in the kitchen sink, gave myself a sponge bath and while I was drying I hear my phone go off... For just a single second before turning the alarm off again...

at 2:30 am

An alarm just long enough to wake me up, but not long enough to still be going off once I am awake, or long enough for me to be sure I didn't imagine it...

Except I was awake to hear and see it happen.

At a time when no alarm is set.

I have woken up MANY times in the middle of the night thinking I heard my alarm, only to brush it off as a half sleeping hallucination.

And I might be sleep deprived now. But that was definitely real.

Second long alarms. For no reason, in the middle of the night.

I only have an iphone because it's second hand after a fucking piss-off of a circumstance i could still fuckign stab someone for, so I was already at "fuck iphones forever they are trash" but the more I live with one the more I think I will turn to violence.

I am going to find a CEO to chew on.

OH! And i laid back in bed for almost 2 hours until I opened my eyes to see a spider crawling across the ceiling in front of my fucking face. And yes! It was a real spider, I got up and unalived it because it tried to flee back into my bedding. How did I see it in the darkness at 4am? The ceiling is a foot in front of my face, idk.

This isn't even a normal "ghost alarm" where a really old alarm goes off because the program fucked up and didn't fully delete it.

This is going off for a single fucking second, at a weird non-round time, right when most people would be soundly asleep, and interrupting itself before it can go on long enough to be sure you heard it, with no named purpose.

Maybe it's being on like my 3rd or 4th day -or longer I forgor- of only 3 hours of sleep, but I would NOT put it past apple corp to be running an experiment on its users, especially since they are able to collect sleep data and often heart data and the like to actually get results from it.

I would also like to be clear that at this point the ONLY time of day I am forcing myself not to sleep is between 5 and 10 am. That's it. I have clear license to give up and sleep at any other hour of the day and I am simply not getting sleepy, no matter how tired or sore I am or what kind of sleep deprivation symptoms I am having [mostly an escalating headache]...

I have opened the sleepless hell box and now I am in it.

I am thinking I might try buying actual sleeping pills again? They've never worked on me before, but I need to find some means of actually sleeping. Not sleeping is worse than drugging myself to sleep at this point and I still don't have my health card. Maybe an antihistamine??

Also I need to figure out how to set the time when my computer decides to defrag or whatever it's doing with the hard drive that always starts up at 2 fuckign am, because it wakes me up every time and that's right when I need to be sleeping. I am getting -really- fuckign sick of a computer that just does it's own shit without asking whenever the fuck it feels like doing it, fuck microsoft too btw.

I paid for this copy of windows and I am not in a good place to have linux for my main system but I might just modify and strip down an installation of windows myself at this point to use with my own product key out of pure hatred and spite. I uninstalled edge twice now with revo uninstaller and GUESS WHAT opens up any time I accidentally click something in the windows GUI??? Guess! You get ONE guess.

I never should have started this.

[now-we-say-c0ral]

January 7, 2024

Woke up at 9am today. Slept soundly last night but I had a hard time sleeping last night. Probably because of the coffee that I have been taking before going to the gym. Ed and I had the tuna bake that he did yesterday for breakfast today. I made some mung bean soup with the mung beans that I left soaking overnight yesterday. It tasted so fine. Everything tastes better with coconut milk.

I just played some Pokemon Unite and called mommy and Aira afterwards. It was getting colder again. Last week the temperature was around 10-12 degrees celcius but now it's dropped to 4-5 degrees. I kind of hate that.

I went to the gym and did my shoulders, lower chest, triceps, biceps, and my abs. I was there for more than 2 hours. I'm just getting my time now because I won't be going to the gym tomorrow because my body needs to rest. It's been 6 days now this week that I've been going to the gym and I have to stop overdoing it. It might not be doing me so much good. Took the bus home which took 50 minutes because of traffic to which then we had to reroute.

Ate the mung bean soup with Ed and prepared our lunch for tomorrow. We're watching Saltburn now. We're working tomorrow and there's a tube strike. I hope it won't be too busy but even that's wishful thinking. Good luck to us!

January 6, 2024

Ah, my day off! I woke up around 8:30am for some reason. It was such a lazy morning for me and I didn't want to do a thing. I got up around 10am when Ed called for breakfast. We had the pasta that I asked him to buy yesterday from PaStation because I was craving for it so badly. I had too much spicy chinese food from last night and now my butt's paying the price. I pooped like three times in the morning and my goodness I was literally praying for it to stop because my butthole hurts so much already from the spices that were put. They literally weren't kidding when they had three chilli emojies on the chicken options.

I went to the guy around 3pm and did legs and back. I planned to do my triceps but I was just too tired. It was a good session and my heart is speeding so fast in my chest I thought it was going to explode.

Went home and Ed made a tuna bake for dinner. It was so good. Just spent the night folding the laundry and just chilling. It's been a good day!

January 5, 2024

I think I've had it begging people to let me in because I lost my badge. I was assigned to do the Haemonc list in Th2 but it wasn't due to start until 9am. Went down to security and secured my temporary badge and told Raman to make me the paperwork for my badge because Elli was off sick, bless her, she works so hard.

The Haemonc list was busy because of how fast the pace was but overall it was okay. There were just a lot of crying from the parents. It didn't faze me. I probably won't understand how it would feel because I won't be a parent because I'm gay except when I decide to adopt but as of right now, I'm just not fazed at all. I'm just there to do my job as good as I can. At lunch break, I finally collected my new badge and I can get through doors on my own again thank goodness!

Went to the gym but just did 20 minutes of cardio. I didn't feel like working out at all. Just went home and just played Pokemon. Ordered some spicy chinese takeaway from Oodles and it was so good! I feel so full though. My intrusive thoughts won tonight. I was supposed to be fasting but I was hungry, too hungry, for some reason. It was an okay day for me.

[achronicwitch]

⛅️ Tuesday, July 11, 2023 🌘

Morning

I was awakened quite a bit earlier than I wanted to be by a tiny ball of fluff screaming in my ear. She doesn't look it, but I can't swear this kitten isn't part Siamese. The kids are experimenting with calling her Eclipse.

The Miracle Morning: I began the day with Pranic breathing, affirmations, and visualization followed by some stretching. I'm currently re-reading The Shower Habit, by Stephanie Ewing. I did a ten-minute braindump; any more than that would have despooned me before I could actually write.

Writing: Thirty minutes insane scribbling. I discovered the notes from an idea I had in January and realized it fit perfectly into the Solarpunk Superhero setting I'm working on.

I went back to sleep at 10:30 am listening to the audiobook Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty on YouTube.

Afternoon

I slept soundly for five solid hours and woke up feeling almost "human."

We had the baby for a couple of hours, then swapped her out for the kitten for a couple more. I'm not sure which was noisier but at least the kitten took a nap!

I'm making headway on a new baby blanket, with a combination of stitches I'm perfecting for use on an afghan for my Partner in Crime. Only theirs is also going to be granny striped. When they send me the yarn I'll get going on that. It's going to take a while because it's a full sized afghan and I've never made anything bigger than a throw.

Another crochet project is an afghan for our neighbor we adopted. He's battling very poor health and I'd like to get it done asap. I need yarn for that, too.

Evening

Both creatures were back in the kids' apartment at sundown so the husband and I could unwind. I think I'll make that the rule unless other arrangements have been made in advance.

Crime Scene Kitchen is my current favorite cooking competition show.

I heated food (turkey and veg meatballs, baked potato, shredded cheese) and rounded up the ingredients so the husband can make himself some homemade trail mix. The kitchen is an unsanitary mess but I just didn't have the oomph to clean it.

Despite the five hours of extra sleep I was run down, tired, and a little sore all day. Nothing much got done again. and it's really hard not to be frustrated.

[declanfs]

May 19-20, 2023

More photos of our first camping trip, plus one from Remi and Rey’s birthday party.

We didn’t get to the park until almost 5 o’clock, so we decided to just let you stay up until we went to sleep too. You were very excited about everything, and also got overtired and a little rambunctious as a result. You really liked jumping on the big air mattress for a while, but then when dada’s little air mattress became forbidden, you REALLY wanted to jump on that. You like when I balloon up the fitted sheet like a mushroom so you can jump on it.

We went on two different walks before bedtime, one with you in your little green car and another where you walked/ran for some of the way and then you rode in the backpack. Dada and I had fajitas from El Patron for dinner, and you had some vegetable version of a cup of noodles.

I had big plans of taking you to the beach, but of course it was too cold before bedtime and way too cold in the morning. I was actually freeeeezing all night long. For the 2-3 hours I slept, I wore my socks, pants, and sweatshirt with the hood over my head. You wore your regular pjs and between the blanket and your furnace-like body heat, that was apparently enough for you. You slept great all night long, maybe one of your top 10 sleeps in your life. Who knows if that’s due to the tiredness of a busy day and a late bedtime, or if you truly slept better because your little body knew you were outside.

An exciting thing happened around 10:30-11:30ish. You and dada were both asleep and I could hear this little crinkling sound outside the tent. My rational brain really did consider that it was a trash bag we forgot to lock away, but my nighttime brain took over and was imagining that it was a bear that was moments away from chewing its way into the tent. After a few minutes, I finally woke dada up and had him peek because I didn’t want to move and risk waking you up. He unzipped his tent window, turned on his flashlight, and saw a little raccoon perched on the hook just helping himself to the leftovers from our dinner. Once I knew what it was, I wasn’t afraid of the noises anymore, but I still couldn’t sleep because I was so cold. I ended up staying up and finishing my book club book (cloud cuckoo land) while you, dada, Bella, and Kreacher just snoozed soundly. Dada said he even got too hot at one point and had to kick a blanket off.

Around 5:40am, Bella woke up doing a bathroom dance and once you were awake enough to see that, you were just awake and ready to play. I had to go to the bathroom too and I was honestly just ready to get up and start moving so I could finally warm up a little.

We went to a trail so your excitement wouldn’t wake up other sleeping campers at 6am. We heard owls and woodpeckers and other birds. You stuck your head in a tree trunk hole. Dada carried you most of the way (of a 1.5mile walk), and by the time we got back and ate breakfast, we decided that we accomplished all we set out to do and were ready to go home.

I took a steamy, hot bath with lavender epsom salts to relax my tensed muscles and warm up, and then I felt like a normal human again.

All in all, it was a successful trip and we definitely know better what to bring and what to leave at home for the next time we go camping.