#slippery bitches

[randomnow]

I'm gonna rant about my job a little now please excuse me :)

SO the average rate they want us to hit, and that we have to hit in order to do indirect roles, was raised to 25 items an hour a few months ago. thats about 2.5 minutes per item. Not terrible, but a little unrealistic to hit on the average. Now the list of things we have to do in those 2.5 minutes?

scan and open the package (which range from simple plastic bags to assholes who wrap their entire box in duck tape (don't... don't do this I'm begging you. we only get shitty safety knives they don't trust us with sharp shit)

check the entire item inside and out for any stains, rips, pulled threads, and whatnot (also these can range from a tiny pair of shorts to a giant poofy prom dress)

2b: if the item is only a little linty we have to use a lint roller and fix it up (which honestly I do a lot bc they also get bitchy if we damage to many things out)

fold the item nicely (dresses are the bane of my existence, folding a big dress on a table half its size is hellish) even if the item is damage beyond repair the damn thing better be folder nicely

package it in the right size polybag

slap an LPN on that bitch and scan it

scan the right tote and put it away

I... there is no way the people consistently hitting 25 or above aren't damaging items out that just need like a lint roller or something or not looking things over all the way for damage

Like i can hit 25 on a good day when I'm not stuck with giant dresses that eat up time or other shit but when they also get pissy about us damaging to many things out it sends a pretty mixed message. one of the managers 'jokingly' called me picky bc i was damaging things out that were covered in hair, but when shit gets sent back we also get talked to. idk but if they try and raise that rate again I'm gonna lose it, it was only 20 when I fist started and that was like.. the perfect number

anyways i got in trouble on thursday for taking like 5 minutes on a giant dress so that was fun

[witchofthesouls]

(Anyone remembers that scenario with Getaway and Rodimus siring upon a Fae-Touched!Liaison that got cyberformed? Here we go again.)

Something bothers Getaway, far more than usual.

You had to change your approach. Getaway believes the Nudge-gun had reshaped your memories and it had.

But you got them back.

(A magic mirror once gleamed and asked What do you wish? with your own inverted face. Upon your answer, your doppelganger grinned a million fractals of glorious and damning shards. Splintered infinities and Truth. It reached out and placed a shard into each eye and you both bleed like monsters and gods.)

You stare into the mirror of the captain's private shower rack, and blue lenses and white pupils stare back. 

If you stare long enough, you can divine the shards, each of them spinning and spinning, fracturing, repairing, growing, clawing out of the white-

The newspark cries and you snap back into the present.

The newspark cries and you nuzzle their soft body as they fret into your neck, tugging on the cables that mimic your hair, gumming on it. Milk-white optics blindly stare as they pur, slipping into your field, buzzing and yanking until you soothe it into a steady, easy pattern. They buzz, searching for a laughing sun that’s no longer with them.

Rodimus is gone. Getaway might as well be as he drowns in his captaincy.

The newspark purrs, no longer crying, and you plan.

_____

The thing is, Getaway lies.

It’s not condemnation. You know he lies. The problem lies where Getaway does it to himself as well. He believes in his own fabrications. A shallow mask that becomes his reality until something breaks it.

(Getaway could be the most marvelous actor if given the proper training and the chance, but it would eat him until he had nothing left to give, and you suppress the shiver that rolls down your spine at the ghostly, distant cheer of the starving, distorted voices.)

You can see it as he crushes you to the couch, when he watches you with hot-cold, hungry, optics across a room, when he pretends to sleep in the berth as you take care of the newspark, when he spins a dazzling tale to all the other mechs in the ship, when you cradle him in your lap…

This new vulnerability is strange from him. It began after Rodimus (and the others) had been left to fend for themselves.

Before Rodimus would sprawl across the couch, taking it over, and allowing you access, only to throw a leg across your lap with the newspark cradled on his chassis. Getaway would be either perched on the arm by your side or using your own legs as a cushion on the floor, viciously hogging the snack bowl and the remote until Rodimus finally relents to trade the bit.

You expected him to take Rodimus’ space on the couch on movie nights, but he doesn’t. He had taken the captaincy, the office, the berth, and even the snacks and personal products by Rodimus.

But strangely enough, he still perches on the couch’s arm by your side or sits by your feet, leaning on your legs. The newspark curls over the leftover space, seemingly so much smaller as they soak the faint remains of Rodimus’ biosignature.

Somewhere during the movie, Getaway will start drifting a hand up your leg, and will eventually find his way on your lap, pressing his face into you with a quiet almost-sigh. Field muddled in a not-quite agitated way until you ‘absentmindedly’ start to stroke across his back, careful not to go near his exposed neck.

The film keeps rolling into another and another without a word between you and him in this strange, truthful intimacy. It only breaks with the newspark fusses to be fed and then it’s time to move to the bedroom.

Some nights Getaway spawls across the berth, taking up the Rodimus-less space, turning into his pillow with little to say, besides a ‘good night’ and mimicking sleep as you settle in.

Some nights, he fucks you as he something to prove. Rutting you with a brutal force as he punches the air from your frame and drinks your expression with a burning focus, leaving both frames steaming and electrical burns on the sheets. In this mood, he doesn’t move from you. You learn to sleep under the weight of his frame and his spike still twitching inside you.

No matter what, he’s gone by the time you wake up.

_____

You don't like the look in Froid's optics. You barely like the mech at all. 

Under that veil of professionalism is the spark of madness that’s familiar to you, that raw, consuming, and greedy hunger as he looks at you and your sparkling.

(Did Getaway tell him anything? Or did Froid figure it out?)

You titter guilelessly at the psychologist, turning into Getaway’s shoulder, murmuring sweet nothings as newlyweds in love do. Getaway is too well-trained to freeze from the sudden behavior, but he acts the part of a loving partner, pressing his mask to your crest. You hold his gaze and over the private comm, you tell him to be careful.

Froid has that same look of greed when he looks at Getaway.

______

In the privacy of the shared quarters and in bed, you feed the newspark and clearly state, “Be careful when you make deals. You don’t play directly against the house. Toll is unforgivable.”

He doesn’t answer. Pretending to sleep.

(Getaway likes to manipulate and play but he has a visceral need to be slanted in a good light. The fact he doesn’t even tries to soothe that worry or deny the accusation that he can’t handle himself is damning in and of itself.)

______

You leave the newspark with First Aid, who’s lonely in an empty medbay, and press a chaste kiss to his cheek, “Take good care of my darling moonbeam.”

First Aid asks what's wrong as your child barely fusses in his arms. Those blind optics stare at you in a strangely knowing manner before tucking into the medic for a nap, frame curling into the mech and field disappearing like morning dew.

You tell him a truth:

You need to clean house.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

The way I finally get to skull caverns (in my quest for a dino egg) only for one of these mfs to greet me

I knew I was cooked 💀

[octernity-bitches]

RAAAAAAAAA ITS HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY CALM

:Whats the procedure-

STAY FUCKING CALM

[knowlesian]

one of the most frustrating/fascinating things about language and communication is that even when we all know generally accepted definitions and are using the same exact words, we don’t usually mean the same exact things.

like: we all more or less know what the word beautiful means. but when i personally say beautiful, do i think of sunsets? or am i thinking about architecture or poetry or the inner workings of a well-made watch???? because what i mean when i say beautiful can change the emotional meaning even when the definition remains stable.

then you get into much more weighted words and concepts like justice or forgiveness or redemption and a lot of the time, we find ourselves using the same vocabulary but still entirely talking past each other.

anyway idk this is a thought not a proper essay so i’ll just end by saying “i know what you said, and i’m not being obtuse on purpose but if you don’t mind: what do you mean when you say that word?” is a very helpful question that nobody likes to hear and that bums me out.

[royalbabble]

Ever since picking up Monster Hunter, I've been trying to get more into real-time action RPG's. I've since played Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2, and I've been thinking about getting into DMC as well.

God my fucking game library is gonna look so weird. My entire collection of DMC right next to...The Legendary Starfy.

[mushed-kid]

there’s a norwegian saying that goes “det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlig klær” which basically translates to “there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing”, and we take that shit serious cause why is there literally a hurricane coming in tonight and they’re still not closing my school for one day. ONE SINGLE DAY

[mifunebooty]

Google images finally understanding how absolutely sexy Mitchum was in Thunder Road by the pull of that chest hair alone

[dawnbreakersgaze]

I'm SOOOO close 😩😩😩😩

I can almost taste him it

Now I just have to be patient while I have to grind for the rest bc lord knows I've spent enough on this event already 😤 I have the worst luck with the LnDS gotcha system (like literally I've never received a 5☆ from a non guaranteed 5☆ pull. Not once.)

I WILL have God of the Tides Raf or I will cry. Or smth idk

[courtney-deserved-better]

i cant start another tdwt rewrite i cant start another tdwt rewrite i have to finish amicus curiae and the time travel au and do an mkulia rewrite ive already started working on one impulsive competition fic this week I CANT START ANOTHER TDWT REWRITE FIC

[theasexual-jackson]

“Fandom spaces are sacred, you can't censorship them!” If fandom spaces are sacred, WHY WON'T YOU MAKE IT SAFE FOR RACIALIZED PEOPLE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE?

[massiveobservabletidalwave]

Alright finished Loguetown (or however that's spelled). Luffy really said "yeah imma be max stupid" huh. Got saved by fucking Zeus (or maybe Dragon since dude has some weathery powers type shot going on).

I do like thinking of One Piece as Luffy building his personal brand. That's a hell of an origin story. Step on the scene beating these established dudes. Biggest bounty on the East Blue. Hit up the site of Gold Roger's execution. Almost get your head fucking chopped off but you're saved by a lightening strike.

I get why Smoker became immediately obsessed. This kid is shaping up to be the stuff of legends.

Also, yay Sanji for getting The Big Fish.

On to finding the lost island or some shit with the balding dragon!

[stitchkiss]

im gonna post something. it’s short and incomplete and totally sucks but i want to get it out. i might actually finish it if y’all like it tho

[blueeyesking]

So this Dartz guy is the leader of all of this... and Paradias. I guess I can believe he had the means to buy out my company, in that case.

[permanentlylatetotheparty]

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[audaciiaearchive]

is sleipnir canonly not that much shorter than barnabas? yes. but also consider. maybe him being 5'5" and he looks like you can fucking throw him across the room but SORRY. hes just too fast!!