#slutty is funnier

[serious-goose]

man fandom au is so fucking great. au fics will take a character with a fuckton of nuance and trauma and throw that out the window to make them into a slutty dude who hands out costo cheese samples. intertextuality at its finest.

[wryuxim]

i know this is old news but i’ve been looking at random ultimate five posts because they’re silly and i keep seeing posts about their ages. i’d seen a few things about minegishi being 19 before (it’s rlly funny more than anything,, rip shimamine shippers tho) but shimazaki???? bro is actually 30 fucking years old????? i’m absolutely flabbergasted by that. like i saw two posts about it till now but they were both shitposts so i didn’t actually believe it 😭 i thought my dude was like 26/27 or something 💀💀 i know that’s just three years but there’s a big difference i swear,, there ain’t no way he’s 30 with those vibes 😭😭 like there’s literally no fucking way he’s older than reigen (or serizawa by a little i just realized omg) it just cannot be. not saying that changes my opinion about him or literally anything in general at all but what 💀

[xxcherrycherixx]

This is your reminder to BE the party

If no one is dancing get up there and dance like a fucking crackhead on the best high of their life

I went into this gay bar with just a couple slightly dancing together near their table, i fucking took my coat off and showed those fuckers how to have a good time.

Then people started to join me and then people joined them and the next thing you know everyone is having fun!

I had so many drunk queer men approach me tonight to say how much they loved my dancing and the fact i was just happy to move to any music. When i stopped to sit for a little, one of the people from the couple came over to say that he was shocked that i took a break, they had seen me dance nonstop literally the entire time i was there. Have fun and be free and people will admire that in you and want to join you.

[crimsongrimoire]

im about to be the most obnoxious bitch on earth about it but babygirl came home thank fucking GOD. my hardcore pregrinding was not for naught. how have i won 4 50/50s in a row. what is it about hydro bitches And Wriothesley

also team Throw The Literal Book At Em is real now thank god

[peachcitt]

But why the upper arm strap though what is it for is it just slutdrien like id have two metaphorical nickels for adrien. Being uh. Having- a uh. Strap. On his uh. A limb. But like. Why. like the purpose of the thigh strap is for the cane but what is the upper arm strap for

this is perhaps one of the funniest asks ive ever gotten

the arm strap is called a sleeve garter and they were used primarily in the latter half of the 19th century and early bits of the 20th century when long sleeve button-downs began to be widely mass-produced with a single, long length of sleeve. to customize the sleeve and make it the right length for the individual, sleeve garters were worn. now, sleeve garters are not as widely used but are often seen as flashy touches to costumes or uniforms for certain professions.

so there is a historical purpose! however here are the dms between anna and i when we decided on adding a sleeve garter:

thanks for asking!!<3

[opherusblog]

Back at it with the thigh highs

[ballisterboldheart]

ok but didnt jwd recanonize the lost world? are you telling me malcolm was like. Very vocal enough abt Dinosaurs Bad and biosyn was still like Yeah let's allow this man to run around our stupid little dinosaur sanctuary im sure he won't cause problems. cool. he has a history of Behaving in ways that will allow our super evil corporation to operate with maximum discretion definitely.

[camgirlkaminari]

for character beango,,,,,,,,,,, shinsou 🐱

terrible news everyone i have VERY little to say about shinsou...i love him like a son, but like. a normal amount? what we see of him in canon is so compelling, but SO LIMITED. like what i think id need to truly be INSANE to be SICK to be TWISTED about shinsou is a vigilantes length side series all about his entire thing. his whole deal. does he like noodles. does he have a crush on any of his teachers. does he hang out every night with monoma or only like every other night

[goulets]

paolo pantalena putting fake deathstroke in little booty shorts and fishnets…i’m obsessed

[eyeexe]

cant decide if i should draw this as analoceitmus or lamp

[aberrantmind]

to explain what i meant in that last posts tags this is my usual (admittedly incredibly inaccurate) mental image of jace beleren based on what little i know about mtg lore

[stevebabey]

Eddie is beginning to wonder if he’ll ever reach a point where Steve couldn’t reduce him to this state.

This state being… transfixed. Eddie is sure he must look like a lovesick cartoon. In fact, if he could manage to drag his gaze away, he’d probably find red hearts circling around his head in a halo, popping like little bubbles.

But Eddie can’t move his eyes. Can’t even close his mouth either.

Steve’s talking to him too, which is most definitely worse — he’s totally missing every word. He can see Steve’s lips moving, pink plush lips wrapping around words but fuck, that was a total trap because now Eddie is just looking at his lips. He tries to refocus, to listen. His eyes just wander back to what he was staring back at the first place.

Was Steve like this all the time? Just a walking around looking so damn delectable?

Or is it Eddie, just a starved man who’s been living off stolen glances, for as long as he can remember? For once, he’s learning, he’s allowed to look.

And by God, is he looking.

Steve’s not even doing it on purpose either, which probably makes the whole thing funnier. Eddie knows what his boyfriend (boyfriend! he thinks giddily in his mind) looks like when he’s cleaned up to impress. He can spot the way Steve preens beneath Eddie’s lingering gaze.

This is not that. Today, Steve is just cleaning, a usual Sunday morning ritual.

He’s got some old sport shorts on and he’s clearly grown a bit since he first got them— unless Hawkins has always been giving out slutty little shorts to the basketball team (They haven’t. Eddie would know if they did.)

He’s wearing one of his wife-beater singlets too. It’s a little on the scrappy side though, considering it’s nearly see-through with how worn it is.

Honestly, in Eddie’s humble and gay opinion, it’s stupidly hot. The dark hair dusted across of Steve’s chest is visible beneath it, the shirt showing off the shape of his broad chest. Even better, his happy trail is visible and goddamn, if that doesn’t make Eddie happy, he doesn’t know what will.

But it’s not even that.

Quite frankly, Eddie’s rather embarrassed that he’s basically blue-screening because Steve is pulling out the cord out from the vacuum cleaner.

But… but he’s yanking it up towards his chest, slow and strong repetitive motions— that take enough effort to make his biceps bulge with every tug.

Eddie can’t stop watching. The cord must be several metres long and he’s not sure if he should be cursing it or thanking it for the view he gets; Steve’s tan arms flexing and rippling. Try as he might, Eddie can’t help imagining how they must look when Steve’s got his hand aroun—

“—hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Steve’s voice cuts into Eddie’s dangerously side-tracked thoughts and he pauses his tugging at the same time. It’s the thing that finally allows him to break his lustful stare at Steve’s arms. Oh God, he just got all hot and bothered over his boyfriend doing the vacuuming.

“Hello.” Eddie says back, because that was the first word to register in his brain. “I mean- yes. I’m—”

Eddie decides mid-sentence that he’s not getting away with the lie. He pivots. “Okay, no, I didn’t hear that. Would you please tell me what you just said, oh lovely sweet man of mine?”

Ever the butterer-upper, he was. Thank God it works on Steve. He rolls his eyes a little but there’s an adoring grin on his lips.

“Man of mine,” Steve mutters amusedly under his breath. He drops the vacuum cord on the carpeted floor and leans down the grab the handle of the vacuum. “You just kinda froze when you came in. I was asking if everything was okay? I’m just doing this room then I’ll be done, if you don’t like the noise.”

Eddie adores that Steve’s taken his silence as though he might be afraid of the vacuum cleaner or something. He nearly snorts aloud at how far from the truth it is.

“Uh huh.” Eddie nods, not bothering to correct him. He jerks a thumb behind him, pointing at nothing. “I’m just gonna…”

He spins on his heel and exits left stage, fast as he can while still looking normal (he’s unsuccessful, as he leaves a baffled Steve behind him.) As he enters into the kitchen and decides to fix them both a pot of coffee, Eddie lets himself giggle over the pure absurdity of what just happens.

It’s mortifying. It’s hilarious. He can never tell Steve.

Except, when Steve comes to find him in the kitchen and trades a kiss for some coffee, Eddie can’t help it. All he ever wants to do is make Steve laugh.

He decides it’s worth the embarrassment when Steve laughs so hard coffee comes out his nose.

Steve teasingly promises that he’ll to try be less distracting, then rescinds his words at Eddie’s abject reaction (“Don’t you dare.”) looking far too smug— in a delighted sort of way. Preening, in that way Eddie loves.

Their first kiss, as Eddie slides onto Steve’s lap and loops his arms over his shoulders, fingers dancing on those tasty arms, tastes a little bit like coffee. Their mugs grow cold, untouched.

Eddie doesn’t mind — he’s too busy finding out that the rest of their kisses taste like something between sunlight and Steve.

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

Actually kind of obsessed with Merasmus being like one year on estrogen. I can't decide if "Merasmus was a Mesopotamian eunuch priestess and has spent six thousand slutty slutty years slinging back pregnant mare urine" or "Merasmus is six thousand years old and she just found out about hrt" is funnier. Maybe both. She forgor

[sanjisblackasswife]

Telling Them “You Have a Slutty Waist”

Ft. Sanji, Law, Ace, Zoro

Zoro

He thinks you called him a slut and now he wants to fight.

You don’t even explain yourself he just keeps getting angrier the more you mention it.

Some days you just hug his waist and say it

“Look at this waist…made for a slut.”

“THE HELL YOU CALL ME—“

He’s like that guy in that one video that says “What the hell even is that” after being told “Daddy chill.”

He doesn’t understand and that’s what makes it funnier he has absolutely no clue if you’re insulting him or not

“Y/N, what is a slutty waist please tell me.”

“It’s in the title, Zo…jeez…”

“BUT WHAT IS IT IS IT BAD?”

Sanji

A literal slut though.

This is my favorite pic of him btw like wtf look at his ASS too. The ratio to waist to ass is just—

You call him your slut a lot whether you both are just together or having sex and you think he really likes it

He does get taken a back when you say slutty WAIST though

“Sl—what?!”

You wrap your arms around his slim body on squeeze it nearly picking him up in the process and he shrieks.

“What’s—what’s a slutty waist? Is it…?”

Please tell him it’s a compliment this man already has so many insecurities.

You do and tell him it turns you on and now he’s turned on and so that’s now your problem

Law

He just flips you off lmao

He has heard you say it many times to him before but now it’s just sounding like jealousy

And it may be

“If you’re saying my waist is lean then yes it is…you jealous?”

“I ain’t jealous of no slut….or your whoreish tiddies.”

Now he’s just annoyed with you because wtf is your problem.

Ace

Looks at you like this^

“You’re the only woman I’ve been with how am I a slut?”

He gets so confused when you say it he starts rubbing his tummy and asking Marco is that a medical condition

Pls help him

You urgently tell him it’s a compliment and he immediately starts laughing. He likes it a lot

Now He says you have a slutty waist, ass, mouth—-

“Alright calm down now.”

“You do! You have these slutty tits—“

“ENOUGH”