untitledqueen

[marsneedstherapy]

this love is a Rosalind Orion song, and no, I will not be we explaining.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Vamptember Day 4 - Missing Scene

{fields of the nephilim - at the gates of silent memory}

The young ones need to hunt the next day, but Marius stays in. He even hears Armand outside the door of his room, and his fledging’s voice mumbling to him. Trying to be quiet, but he doesn’t understand how well blood drinkers can hear.

“What’s wrong?” he’s asking. 

Marius curls up in the dark, his face numb. His whole body feels so cold and heavy. 

He can see Armand, through the young one’s eyes. The way his hand is raised, like he was going to knock on the door, but hesitated and changed his mind. He turns to Daniel, his face flat. No affect in his voice as he says they should go hunt, and leaves without another word.

Something tragic about it, that Armand behaves this way. Marius claws at his collar bone in the dark, unsure how long the numbness of the past few days will protect him from spiraling. Unsure if he can endure seeing Armand like this.

What happened to you, Amadeo?

But they leave. Daniel is still so fresh-faced, barely dead. Can’t skip meals just yet. And Armand… weak around the edges, even at his age, after the ordeal they went through last night. A strange paternal part of Marius wants to tell Armand he needs to eat, too. 

His eyes open, in the pitch black. It aches in his head as he tries to see his surroundings. 

“I won’t endure this,” he whispers, in the dark, and imagines he’s buried under the ice again.

~~

Armand knows he’s walking too fast, and grinds his teeth in focus to control himself. Daniel might be able to keep up, but he doesn’t know any better just yet. He skips a step every few paces, even breathing heavily, too used to needing air. 

“This one,” Armand says, as he stops. His hands have been shoved into his jacket pockets, but he lifts one into the chilly air to point. Some young woman, waiting quietly on beneath the bus stop shelter. She’s smoking a cigarette and drawing patterns in the sand on the sidewalk, oblivious to their presence. 

Daniel is oblivious, too. Gawking at a streetlamp, with the puppy-drunk awe on his face. 

“Pay attention, lover,” Armand says. Too harshly, perhaps, and he feels the guilt immediately as Daniel starts.

“Why her?” he asks.

He tries not to think about Marius most of the time. Those early lessons on how to choose them. And how will Marius react, when he wakes, when they speak again? He’s waiting, back at the compound, for this to be over with. 

Is this what it’s like to have a toddler? Dread prickles all over Armand’s skin.

“Because---” the wounded look on Daniel’s chills him to the bone, and he tries to hear his thoughts. Old habit. The empty silence makes him want to cry. “Because I’ve asked you to.”

“But she’s so young…”

Armand should feed, too. Strange residual weakness from the incident last night, but he needs his composure too badly. Needs to stay with Daniel. 

A better maker would shepherd him through it. And what a waste, that it could be something they share. He could try harder, perhaps, if only so that Marius won’t be disappointed. 

He shivers all over, watching the way Daniel struggles, hearing his racing heart, wondering what he and Marius will be able to read from each other.

Daniel is trembling as the life leaves the girl’s body, and he drops her to the ground, into the little drawing she’d made with the toe of her boot. 

It shouldn’t be like this. Daniel shouldn’t feel so afraid. Armand watches him, quietly instructs him on cleaning up, and misses his innocence. 

Regret aches in Armand’s chest, but he hasn’t the courage to fix it. 

~~~

The girl’s fear echoes in Daniel’s head for the whole drive back. He leans against the passenger door, as if he can put more space between them, and keeps trying to pick the dirt from beneath his nails. 

Armand doesn’t speak, and he drives a little too fast up the mountain road. The fear that bubbles up almost feels like a hangover—a bad decision haunting him, leftover from another life. He tries to focus on something else—the smell of the forest, the stars in the sky, maybe he should turn the radio on—but everything is going by in too much of a blur.

“Come with me,” Armand says, after he parks and shuts the car off. And Daniel follows, unsure what else he’d do with himself if he didn’t. Up into the mansion again, then down into the cellar, past the dozens of store room doors. He stops at the one from earlier, where Daniel had found him after he’d woken up.

He looks over to Daniel, expressionless again, his face half-shadowed and only lit by the sickly yellow of a single bare lightbulb. Impossible to read him, even harder than it had been before, but Daniel suddenly understands.

Marius, he thinks. In this room. He’s not sure how he knows. 

Armand keeps eye contact as he knocks at the door, and Daniel’s stomach lurches as it opens on its own.

“Oh, Armand, please—” he begins to say, taking a step back. Too small in there, to be all closed in together with that one. 

He’d been perfectly kind to Daniel, through everything, if not impersonal. But his presence is too large, before Daniel can even see him. He can hear the ancient heartbeat, like a stone grinding from the darkness. 

Please, I don’t want to, he almost says, but as the door yawns open the words leave him.

  How long had Daniel wondered about Armand’s maker? And how many times had he asked, only for Armand to evade?

A candle glows to life, inside the little room, even though no one lit it. It bounces off the tin-lined walls, and the shape of him emerges as Daniel’s eyes adjust. It’s as if he just appears there, floating up out of the darkness, and it gives Daniel the chills. 

He’s sitting in the corner, his back to the wall. Legs stretched out in front of him, and his ankles crossed. Has he just been… sitting here? In the darkness?

“It’s all right,” he says, and Armand’s mouth twists into a little scowl. They both know he was talking to Daniel, don’t they? And the jealousy of it stiffens Armand’s shoulders immediately.

He grabs Daniel by the arm, though, fist bunching into his jacket sleeve, and pulls him into the room. Shuts the door behind them.

Daniel thinks he might not need to breathe. Vampires don’t, right? But there’s suddenly not enough air in the little room, and he squeezes his hands until his nails dig into his palms. Takes a step back, hitting the door, the knob digging into his hip.

Marius is so still. Ghastly like this, in the candlelight, his skin so unnatural. Almost like that woman, the Queen. 

His face is expressionless as he looks up at Daniel, eyes icy blue and unblinking. And they’d all slept in these little rooms, tucked into soft little nooks amongst Maharet’s relics, but something terrifying about Marius, now that Daniel looks at him. In this tiny room. A creature under the house.

Armand clears his throat. Daniel can’t recall him ever making this noise before. He manages to tear his eyes away from Marius, to study Armand, and he can see how the seams are starting to show as he struggles to keep his face neutral.

“Daniel and I are leaving,” he announces. His hand slips into Daniel’s as if to make sure he’s still there. “We have an island. We’ll be going home.”

“All right,” Marius says. The timbre of his voice vibrates in Daniel’s bones. He leans his head back against the wall, waiting for more information.

“You can come.”

He’s heard the Armand Deadpan plenty of times, and broken through it enough to know when it’s an act. Daniel squeezes his hand, afraid suddenly, unsure what he’s witnessing here, unsure why Armand is so tense. 

“I’d like you to come,” Armand amends, still speaking. “You and Lestat. And, whoever else might need to. It’s safe there. But you should come back with us.”

Daniel’s ears ring.

Marius folds his hands in his lap, tilts his head. Expressionless face, like father like son.

Sometimes, when things were at their worst, he’d imagined that being a vampire would make things clear and easy. He thought he wouldn’t feel fear anymore, wouldn’t feel the panic creep up beneath his skin. But it feels like the walls are closing in, and it’s cold, and he feels everything more, actually. His heart races, the same way it had when he was alive, the way it had when he killed that girl tonight. The way hers had, as she lost herself to terror and begged for her life.

He thought he wouldn’t be afraid of the dark.

“Daniel, are you all right?” Marius asks. 

Armand lets go of his hand, turns to face him. His eyes glow for a moment, catching the candlelight just right, like a cat. Marius’s do, too, and Daniel wonders how many people they’ve killed.

“I’ll never see the sun again,” he blurts out.

He digs his palms into his eyes, right as he says it. Embarrassed. He wants to leave, but isn’t sure he can outrun them.

“Your fledgling is afraid of me,” Marius says gently. 

“He’s--” Armand’s mouth clicks shut. “Daniel, stop. You’re being foolish.”

“Amadeo,” Marius says. The sternness of his voice cuts through the small space. It squeezes inside Daniel’s brain, and he drops his hands, to look again.

It’s cut through the mask. Armand takes a step back towards the corner, his face soft now. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

Marius shifts his body, sits cross-legged. It makes more space in the room, and Daniel catches his breath a little bit. 

“Daniel,” he says, and it’s so melodic. “Please don’t be frightened of me. Come sit with me.” 

His body obeys, before he realizes it. Stepping closer, sitting on the floor. Marius had slept on a pile of drop cloths, and Daniel thinks he looks like a statue, come to life from beneath the storage sheets.

Armand leans into the corner for another moment, his face conflicted. Daniel sits, though, heart racing. But it feels sort of good, to obey like this, once he does it. Less confusing. Marius beckons him, eyebrows knit in concern. 

“What happened tonight?” Marius asks. Armand looks so human, shrinking back. It takes a moment for Daniel to realize Marius was addressing him, and he he looks from Armand to Marius and back, back and forth, unsure what to say. Marius touches Daniel’s forearm, to trap his attention. “The hunt went badly?”

Daniel could cry. All the bad feelings hit him at once, cycling through. The hunger, the guilt, the claustrophobia. He finally nods.

“You’re still hungry,” Marius observes. 

“She was… too afraid. I didn’t want it.”

“I see.”

Maybe he’s catching his breath, or maybe Marius isn’t so scary up close. Everything about him radiates danger, but there’s something comforting about him. Armand never felt like this, even when he gave Daniel the fucking creeps. Never overcorrected like this.

I had so many questions about you, Daniel thinks, watching the face, the way the candle flickers in his eyes. Shiny eyes like a cat.

“It’s called tapetum lucidum,” Marius says. He offers a smile, to break the tension. “From Latin.”

“What?” Armand asks. 

Marius’s eyebrow raises as he glances over to Armand, then back to Daniel. “The part of your eye that shine likes a cat. It’s called tapetum lucidum.”

“Oh.”

Daniel wants to run again. Wonders if they’ll reach for him, icy hands like ghouls dragging him back into the dark. Marius watches him, as he thinks it, and it breaks through the mask for a moment. He just looks so fucking sad.

I could be like you. Sad forever. What if this never goes away?

Marius’s knuckles graze Daniel’s cheek. Please don’t be frightened, he says. He rolls up the sleeve of his sweater and holds out his forearm. Drink from me, you’re still hungry. You’re too young to be hungry. 

He likes the command behind it. Takes some of the pressure off. 

And it’s only been a few nights, hasn’t it, since he drank from Armand? He hasn’t felt that delirious pull towards it, ready to destroy him. It’s like he got the final fix. But it would be good, wouldn’t  it?

Marius, he thinks. He rolls the name around in his head.

All this time with Armand, and all the questions he’d dodged. He never even got a fucking name out of it. Armand’s Maker had been such an intimidating blank spot. He hadn’t really understood the gravity of Maker, anyway, could only think about the girl he’d fucked in high school whose father had been a fucking Marine. It’s that type of thing, except not at all. 

Reading Lestat’s book hadn’t really said it, either. 

He almost looks to Armand, one more time, for permission, but can’t worry about decoding him anymore. Enough for one night. His stomach flutters as he goes for the bite. 

The Blood is thick. 

Old. 

He’s not sure how his new body works, but thinks if he were human he may have come in his pants. 

He moans around it, and his eyes close. Not a tiny little room anymore, trapped underground, but he sees… colors. An old house, full of art. Painted walls, and huge windows opening onto the canal. Boys are laughing downstairs, and someone is playing a lute. He swallows, and the Blood fills him, and maybe he can endure if it can be like this. 

Beautiful and open, and the bed is soft, the fire is warm. And he sees Armand there. Crisp new clothes, striped shorts that show off the shape of his hose-clad thighs. So much color in his face. Alive, alight. Begging Marius, asking for it over and over, almost as bad as Daniel had been.

Daniel pulls away, opens his eyes. Looks for Armand in the corner, but realizes he’s not there. Hadn’t heard him move, too distracted by the blood rushing in his ears.

Hears the little whimper now, though. Marius draws his hand back, gently, and Daniel’s eyes follow as it settles on Armand’s hip, as he sweeps softly up and down Armand’s side, coaxing him through as Armand grinds their bodies together.

Daniel missed all of it, too absorbed. Hadn’t seen Armand cross the small room, crawl into Marius’s lap. His knees press into Marius’s waist, hands clawing at his shoulders as they kiss. Daniel can hear their hearts, and the wet noises of their mouths, hears the way Armand swallows each mouthful of Blood.

“Va ben,” Marius whispers, when they break apart. “Te vojo ben.”

Armand shakes, and he hiccups when he pulls away.

“Please come home with us,” he pleads, voice full of tears. 

He weeps softly onto Marius’s shoulder, and Daniel reaches out, awkwardly, laying a hand on Armand’s thigh to let him know he’s still here.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please come,” he whines, and the way he begs is just like the vision. 

[bloodycassian]

COLD NIGHTS - Cassian x Azriel x Reader - Prompt: 

hi i love your work so much!!! I was thinking a cassian x azriel x reader (i just love them sm, why have one when you can have two ) where the reader is sister of a high lord maybe day or winter court, and reader goes missing (kinda angsty) and her brother (a high lord) panics and goes to the night court for help (bc if her two bat boys can’t find her who will)  and az and cassian go full on panic mode and search for the reader, i was also thinking a fluffy cute ending where reader is just cuddling with azriel and cassian while her wounds heal take as much time as you need to write this, don’t pressure yourself. Take care lovely

Kallis would never forget the screams. The terror and panic that rushed through him when he realised that you were gone.  He sent half the city to search for you. He called upon Helion to inspect the magic. He was frantic in finding you. But it was like you had just disappeared out of nowhere. No sign of struggle, not a drop of blood spilled. The offender was sloppy in their ways, but their magic was strong. Helion could sense it.  They had a deathwish from Kallis himself if he ever found them. +  The first thing you saw were your cracked and bloody hands. They were split open from the dry cold wind. Sea air drifted into the cave. The cold brutal howling outside mixed with the roar of waves breaking confirmed your nightmares. Cape Tragedy. 

The islands off the coast of winter were known for their unforgiving nature to ships. Hence their name, Cape Tragedy. Also known as the Tragic coast, no stories were ever heard of any survivors of those crashes. If they had managed to survive the churning water, then the false salvation of the islands would kill them. It happened often enough that there were lighthouses set atop many of the bigger islands for ships to avoid on stormy days.

You coughed from the dry air, earning a pair of yellow eyes to dart to you. One of the three lesser fae males noticed you were awake and clapped. "She wakes! We've been waiting for you, sweetheart." His green skin was pale in the overcast light streaming in from the mouth of the cave. Snow Bear pelts lay all around. A disgrace in your culture. No citizen of Winter court would do such a thing. You looked to the walls to find weapons, and strange markings along the stone. Sailors from far away lands. 

Not even sailors. Pirates. A chill ran through you.  

"We're going to get your weight in gold, pretty one." The scaled male curled a piece of your hair behind you ear. Your stomach turned, and you tried to scoot away. "My brother will kill you first. And he'll take a long time doing it." You promised, trying to make your voice sound strong. Terror had you by it's grip though, and it was hard to do anything other than panic

. "Your brother? The pretty one that shears the Elk?" The green one asked. You laughed, and then were hissing in pain when the scaled male yanked on your hair. "What's so funny?" 

"You think my brother is an elk herder?" You spat "You must be dumber than you look." The males glanced between each other, then to the one who hadn't said anything yet.

"Who ye think you are then?" The male holding your hair stammered, trying to keep his panic under wraps. 

"Kallis' sister." You said with deadly calm. "And the high lord does not negotiate." 

"If you're so noble why you got such a mouth on ye?" The third male finally spoke.

They laughed.

"Maybe we will see just how much of a mouth-" He started again. He didnt have a chance to finish his disgusting words. You kicked, bending an ice spear straight up from the rocky ice floor and through the third male's body. Then the beating from the other two came. 

They bound your wrists and ankles in rope and tar. Their hands shook when they did it. It gave you a small bit of satisfaction. The potion they gave you to knock you out was just barely strong enough. You fought it as best you could, but it won. You could only hear the faint sounds of arguing then a crash of glass, then the cold winds whipping around you. And when you woke, your body ached.  The cold bit into your limbs. Your fingers were pale. Far too pale to be healthy. You knew frostbite when you saw it. Your body refused to move under your own power. Your blood was frozen to the icy ground. They had used a potion and transported you to a peninsula, and you could only faintly hear the ocean below. You could feel the potion wearing off, but you knew you weren't healing. Not yet. You reached down into your own mind, picking up the fading tendrils of power. Of your bond to the two you knew could save you. And you pulled as hard as you could manage.  --- "Fuck." The roaring thought shook Cassian awake. Bleary eyed, he glanced about the room as if there was someone actually shouting at him.  Then he felt it. The weak tug that had been silent for so long. And he knew it was nothing good. Frenzied, he met Azriel at the dining area. Where they spent the rest of the night planning, deducing a probable reason for you to be calling so weakly. They sent their worries to Rhys, but they were shooed away. "I'm researching. Meet me in the library at dawn." The two males tried to comfort each other. But the worry pulsating through the bond was too much to focus on. So they waited. Kallis appeared that morning. He spat his story and begged for help, practically in tears as he spoke to the three Illyrians. Cassian and Az knew something was wrong the moment you were attacked. Court laws forbade them interfering on Winter Court territory though.  As soon as the approval was given, the brothers winnowed to the border of Winter and started flying. + You were coming to terms that you would die in the cold. You had imagined death differently. Battle was the primary way you thought you'd die. Or at the end of a High Lord's magic for being too much of an advisor. Smiling at the memory of putting Tamlin in his place, you gave another tug down the bonds to your mates. And like a snap, they both tugged back. Almost in unison. It was hard to tell. You closed your eyes, listening to the soft waves below. They lulled you into a cold sleep yet again.  + Despite the cold, the Illyrians flew as fast as they could. They could sense your light fading, and chased it for mile after mile. Their wings cut through the harsh winter winds, fueled by rage and desperation. Then they spotted the dark figure frozen to the snow below. Cassian landed first, a few feet away. The ice cracked beneath him. "Get us out of here." He growled to Azriel.  "We need to make sure she's okay before we move."  Cassian growled, but didn't protest. Azriel understood. He felt the anguish and frustration through the shared bond. Az's hands pressed gently to your neck, checking your pulse. He swore. "Baby, we need you to wake up for us. We're here. We got you." Cassian put a hand to your cheek and fought back the tears that threatened.  You groaned in response. They both sighed in relief, their breath making clouds in front of them. "I'm stuck..." You managed through your stiff jaw.  Cassian stroked a thumb over your cheek. "Stuck? Honey you're-"  "Cas..." Azriel nodded to your side, to the ice that crept its way up your damp clothes. Azriel could have taken a very very long time torturing the beasts that did this to his mate. The rage coiled in his gut at the sight of your injuries. The only reason you hadn't bled out was the blood and water mix turning your wounds to ice.  Cassian pulled at the ice web that encapsulated you. Under the heat of his rage it broke, and broke and broke. Azriel placed small patches of his shield over your frostbitten fingers. "We're gonna get you out of here. Just stay still." Azriel smoothed back your hair, and darkness swirled over you. The change from the harsh overcast light of Winter court to the soft sun of Night court was jarring.  Madja put her hands on you and you were asleep in an instant. Her warm hands were a blessing from the Mother.  +  "She's lucky she has that Winter blood in her or she'd be dead." Madja wiped her hands off and handed both the Illyrians a small vial. "That is the scrap from a poisoned sword that broke off in her shoulder. I got all the pieces out, but the poison lingers. It may heal slowly, but it should get better."  Anguish burned both of their stomachs. Azriel's throat tightened and he looked away, but gripped the vial tightly. Cassian stared at it, his eyes murderous. Madja left without another word. "She was almost killed. And we couldn't do anything." Cassians' voice was low, with violence dripping from it. "We need her here. In Velaris where we can... watch her." He didn't know what he was saying, but the instinct to protect was overriding every other logical thought he had. Anger burned and burned in his stomach, swallowing him with rage. He could feel Az mirroring the same feeling, but with a cold deadliness that begged to simmer out of him.  "You know she wont go for that. She loves her home too much. Her brother." Azriel whispered back. "We're her mates. She should be with us." Cassian was looking for a fight. All the tension and anger of the day had to be worked out. Azriel felt it too. His shadows ran anxiously through the room.

The wind outside howled. It shifted the dark clouds that covered the moon. It seemed to be a cold day in all of Prythian. A cold day in your mates hearts to the pirates that had taken you. They spoke their rage mind to mind, imagining the ways to torture the bastards. 

How to find them would be the first priority. Azriel kept circling back to that part. + The healer cleared his throat at the door. "She's asking for you." He nodded to Rhys' brothers. They left Rhys behind in unison, walking in perfect step with each other. Their minds hummed together over that bond they shared with you. "Protect protect protect." They both seemed to demand.  Azriel knocked softly, his heart flipping when he heard your voice again. "Get in here." You demanded, giving them a broad smile when they practically shoved each other out of the way. 

"Come keep me warm." You weakly folded the blanket back, exposing some of the bruising on your skin. 

They complied with enthusiasm. Azriel's hands were cold at first, but they got better when he reached around you to hold Cassian closer. They worked in tandem to keep you covered, making sure that you weren't too crowded or too warm. Azriel summoned his cool shadows when you got too warm and had to kick the blankets off. Cassian's warm breath would keep you warm when they became too much. You traced Azriel's cheekbones, the sharp edge of his jaw while falling alseep. Cassian's muscled forearms hugging you from behind were like a heavy pillow. 

"Rest now, we can have more fun later." Az winked, making your stomach flutter. Cassian groaned and pulled you further to his lap. You tried not to think of the hardness that pressed to you now.  "Goodnight." The shadowsinger kissed your forehead and like a light, you were out. Finally resting peacefully wrapped between your two mates and their warm bond you all shared. 

[deviltoys]

My man Aizawa? Say no more. Reader is another teacher at UA an is tired of Ms. Joke flirting with him. When he sees them talking way longer than normal- reader thinks he’s flirting. So he drags Sho’ to the teachers lounge and ties him up w his scarf and fucks him stupid- and when Joke walks in he fucks w her and says shit like “He’ll always be mine” Gn i’m sorry this is shit. I wanted to come up w something right away because I fucking love him 😩

— ‘𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘆.’

shouta aizawa x top!male reader (wc; 894)

#a/n: YOU DID MY REQ BESTIE SO I HAD TO DO YOURS. 😼 aizawa is on the brain right now i enjoyed writing this sm even though it's horrible and i COMPLETELY forgot this said teachers lounge. so i put them in the classroom like an idiot smh

warnings. NSFW CONTENT, MINORS DNI, bondage, spanking, jealous sex, creampie, dumbification, possessive!reader, voyeurism, exhibitionism.

Aizawa Shouta was perfection, dangerously built and extremely intelligent. Being his significant other wasn't a task for the easily envious’. Shouta has countless amounts of men and women chasing after a spot in his heart; he is a faithful man, yes, but it ached to observe a plethora of strangers attempt to get into your boyfriends’ pants ever other second.

If only they knew how much of a greedy slut he was for that fat cock of yours. Nothing but a lousy, used, cock-sleeve for your satisfaction.

The way you had Shouta’s wrists bound neatly against his back-side with his own scarf, the pair of pants around his calves conveniently exposing his bare ass for the world to see — it was an image you painted with jealousy.

That damn Emi had been oogling your boyfriend for the umpteenth time, it always had you test your self control to observe her banter alongside Aizawa.

Their conversation was becoming suspiciously long, you had no idea what the discussion entailed; yet seeing your boyfriend enable her flirting was displeasing to state the least.

“Sho, explain.” You expressed behind your teeth, the hint of sourness in your tone told him all he needed to know — even though he couldn't see you, he could sense the spiteful expression lingering on your lips.

“Y/N..please. Ms.Fukukado is nothing more than a co-worker, this is extremely inappropriate.” He huffed, the way his brow furrowed in retaliation to your words only made your cock twitch with excitement.

Smack.

Disobeying you wasn't an option, he now knew that more than ever, but with the way your palm eagerly made the milky skin on his ass ripple — he couldn't help but squeak out a lewd string of noises in response.

“Mm, that noise makes it seems like you enjoy ‘inappropriate’, Eraserhead.”

With your chin resting on his shoulder, and the use of his hero name; it was near impossible for the professor to cease his squirming. Smack. His naked thighs jolted against your hips, the sensation of your cold fingers exploring his cheeks only enabled the feeling of lust pooling in his stomach.

Pulling your cock from it's restraints, you analyzed how it plused and throbbed — the tip turning a bright red from the wad of spit you were massaging along it's shaft.

You lifted up those soft, round mounds of flesh, his pale rim giving little resistance as you sunk your thick cock into his guts, quaking body engulfing you down to your hilt in a matter of seconds.

A hiss scratched your throat, following a strangled “Fuck, Sho..so tight for me, yer’ clenchin’ around my cock so well baby.”

His back was arched at such an absurd angle, that every shift in your movement abused his prostate — he sloppily grinded in attempt to earn more pleasure from you, only leaving that regularly hoarse and deep voice of his cracking pathetically with every harsh thrust your hips made deeper inside of him.

“Mmf..ah..Y/N f- fuck!” You could practically taste the sin rolling off of his tongue, he sounded so weak, his eyes were fucking mess and you loved it. You would savour when he’d cry for you to fuck him stupid, he was so blissful bobbing on your thick cock!

“You enjoy the way I stuff you, right baby? If you talk to that bitch again, Daddy can't feed you his cock anymore.” The scarf around his skin rubbing his wrists raw as you pouted teasingly into his ear-lobe.

Tugging his arms against the restraints only made you push into him more, not bothering to slow down as you fucked your first load deep into his tight boy pussy; the squelching of your seed mixed with the sound of skin on skin blanketed the barren classroom.

Drool was now racing down his chin, collecting onto his extremely unkempt desk, trinkets and work documents littered the wood furnishing; as you fucked him harder into the front of it.

You were showing your cum depraved boyfriend no mercy what so ever — tears trailed down his cheeks from the pressure of scrunching his eyes shut mixed with the force of your in-human thrusts.

The erratic rush of busy hallway noises flooded the empty area surrounding you and your bottomed out boyfriend. You were so focused on keeping your semen from leaking out of the inky haired teacher, that it took a second take notice of a certain female figure guarding the doorframe.

There stood Emi, dumbfounded, jaw split open as wide as your cock-sleeve under you — observing you pull in and out of her brain-dead colleague.

You only untangled your fingers from Shouta’s messy mop of hair when he whipped his head around to catch a glimpse of whoever was silently waiting at the door. Much to his luck, it wasn't a student of any kind, not that he could tell behind those glossy eyes — but it didn't tame his nerves or alleviate the situation any more.

“Ah! Ms.Emi, welcome, this should be a reality check that.. my boyfriend is well..mine.”

Your chuckle was short and threatening, that welcoming facade only adding salt to the wound as you let a groan dance past your lips — you rolled your head back letting your final batch of cum leave a bulge in the older man’s tummy. Signifying he belonged to you, and only you.

[shotosprincess]

BAKUGO SCREAMING AND IZUKU

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ AAAA HIII TYSM FOR REPLYING TO THE BNHA PLAYLIST THINGY FOR FICS I LOVE YOU MWAHMWAH

anyways aaa bet !! ill do midoriya first if you don’t mind bc im currently in such a soft mood and hajdjj i just love him sm :((

— 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙯𝙪𝙠𝙪 𝙢𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙮𝙖’𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙨

inspired by this playlist by nimbus on yt !! pls check them out ansjdjf their playlists r heaven ^^

❝ you never truly understood that about him, the way he continued to put himself through the pain, to push himself, even, past his limits and then some—

plus ultra. and now his arms were all but littered with rough scars of diluted white and blunt tan. ❞

notes ! gender neutral! reader,, best friends to lovers au ,, 2nd person pov

summary: in which your best friend deku shows up at your dorm late at night due to kacchan locking him out. he asks for bandages to stabilize his newly-healed scars, and you ask to kiss them.

genre: fluff !! <33

it went without a doubt that deku had been to recovery girls’ office more times than anyone else at the academy. it hurt, honestly; each time you saw his still-healing figure emerge from the little swing of her door, a sharp pang reverberated starkly through your chest, for though the freshly-scarred over wounds didn’t diminish his beauty in the slightest, you simply couldn’t deny that an empty eddy of sadness settled in you whenever he was in such a state.

and unfortunately for you, he was constantly in it.

his body could only take so much. and he was still so young too—the very same held true for your heart.

it’s been that way ever since the two of you had first entered ua as shining, eager students. though in all fairness you had to admit, he was...different from the very beginning. even as the prelude to his eventual rising and growth in his quirk, he had shone with a certain unmatched brilliance ever since the entrance exams. and over the years you spent together, you had watched him persevere so passionately towards the glow of his ultimate goal; to be a hero who can help others. little did he know just how much he already had. he had always been so excruciatingly oblivious and aloof to even the evidence and affects of his own kindness, and you hated the fact that so many tended to take advantage of it. of him.

though, of course, this did not mean that he was weak in any form. no, if anything he was quite the polar opposite—he had proved it time and time again, and yet it didn’t mean that he couldn’t get hurt too. the dull aching of tiredness ringing in his eyes, the one he tries to desperately to mask, the ragged marks scattered across the pale valleys of his once-scar-barren skin; he wasn’t immune to pain, to injury. and yet, he fought. you never truly understood that about him, the way he continued to put himself through the pain, to push himself, even, past his limits and then some—

plus ultra. and now his arms were all but littered with rough scars of diluted white and blunt tan.

nevertheless, truth be told, you actually admired it a great deal. his sheer determination, the purity of his motives, it was more than laudable. despite all of it, you truly couldn’t help but feel this...magnetic urge to help him. protect him. if you could soothe the pain in any way, even if it would be but a temporary relief—

three knocks clack on the door.

you and izuku’s secret door code—just a silly little something the two of you made up a few months after the dorm system had been put into motion, and all so you could sneak out to the grass-flooded yards of the building and train together.

naturally, you open the door.

“ heyyy there you are! “

your head perks up at the cheery jingling of his voice, all drafts of exhaustion and sleep deprivation washing away almost instantaneously. he might as well be the very personification of caffeine at that point, despite how direly he needed it himself.

the starry shine of his eyes meets with yours as a diluted sanguine seeped colour into his face. he turns his head away awkwardly.

you lean against the doorframe, smiling at him. “ deku...you didn’t tell me we’d be training today. plus it’s a little late right now, don’t you think? i’m already in my pajamas. “

“ yeah, um, sorry about that. kacchan...kinda locked me out. “

“ he what? “

“ he locked me out. “

“ how does that even—don’t you have separate rooms? “

“ well, yeah, but we were racing down the halls after glass today and he...got to my room before i could. well, honestly i have no clue what he’s doing over there. “ he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“ oookay then. little concerning, i won’t lie. “ your shoulders lift in a shrug, arms crossing in front of your chest as your shy laugh matches his.

“ so i was wondering if...you know...i could maybe stay here for a bit? “ his voice wavers subtly, though you’re quick to catch it. the tips of his ears flush with a deepened pink.

you can’t help but silently gush about how cute he looked.

you’re quick to snap out of that too. eyes bursting open with a brilliant shock, you notice he’s fiddling nervously with his fingers as you remain absolutely, positively frozen in place.

“ i’m—what? “

his countenance immediately shifts to one of sheer embarrassment. flustered, he begins to frantically wave his hands in front of him, as if to put some sort of considerable distance between his panicking self and your seemingly-composed demeanour. and as if that would do anything to deescalate the tension which was only progressively building between your equally-timid selves at this moment.

“ ohmygod i didn’t mean it in a weird way or anything! i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’ll just—i’ll just go— “

you slide against the wood a little bit, pushing your weight against the slightly-agape door, so it swung open even further to reveal the, admittedly, fairly-messy state of your room. draped carelessly on the side of your bed, a sweater you had taken off earlier because the temperature of your room had suddenly decided to heat up an unreasonable amount. countable cups holding shallow pools of hour-old drinks scattered throughout nearly every shelf. a creased textbook splayed out, cover up on your desk.

yep. definitely looked like someone’s lived here.

“ i mean...you could come in if you want. no one’s stopping you. it’s a little messy though, i haven’t found much time to properly clean it yet, with exams coming soon and stuff. “ a small smile accompanies your growing blush, despite how much you were trying to play it off as nonchalantly as possible.

psh, right. as if letting him in your room—something you had never done prior in the history of your friendship—wasn’t a big deal in the slightest.

his eyes shoot wide as his arms flail about. you have to keep yourself from laughing at his silliness.

“ uhm, i mean...only if that’s okay with you! “

“ yeah, yeah, of course! you need a place to stay for now, after all. who knows when bakugou’s gonna let you back in? “

“ yeah, i guess you’re right. well, i mean, if you really don’t mind— “

you playfully roll your eyes, giggling as you shove him into your room.

“ oh, quit it with the politeness. you’re too nice, you know that? “

“ too...nice? “

“ too nice. “ you reiterate, giving his shoulders a little squeeze.

his head lolls to the side as he carefully lowers himself onto your bed, his sweater shifting with the subtle movement.

for a few moments, the space between you is occupied with a simple, comfortable silence. it’s refreshing, really. a welcome difference from all the boisterousness of the academy. you loved the action and everyone’s energy, of course, but sometimes what you really needed was really just a simple break from everything. to do nothing but exist for a little while, to simply be without the constant pressure of having to get up and jump into action all the time. just for a few moments. and so you relished in these said moments spent with him, for who knows when the next time you could ever be with him like this again would be?

and then his voice fills that void of silence, but you’re not disappointed in the slightest.

“ hey. “

“ yeah? “

“ you don’t happen to have any extra bandages, do you? “

“ bandages? for what? “

he clenches his fist, flexing the muscles in his arm. “ for...stability. just in case. i can’t afford for my arms to get hurt more. “

“ oh. well, uhm...i think i have a few spares in my drawer! “ you push yourself off the bed, leaving the comfort the soft sheets brought about, pulling open a tiny drawer. taking out a transparent box of bandages, you jump back onto the plushness, sitting cross-legged directly across from midoriya, who’s already presenting his arm.

your lips silently part as your fingers wrap themselves around the thick ivory fabrics of bandage, rolling them around so you could wrap them around him.

another pause of wordless silence falls.

“ hey deku? “

“ yeah? “

“ could i...could i kiss your scars? “ you whisper, afraid that he’d get mad, though you knew he was anything but the type to do such a thing.

the meadow depths of his eyes kindle a cozy hearth within you as his initial surprise quickly softens, melting away into what could only be described as the most endearing smile to exist.

“ sure. “

jagged patches and uneven streaks of faded cloud white and prominent earthy tans decorate his arms, and you can’t help but bring the rosiness of your lips to meet them. you decide begin with the ones littered along his fingers.

one kiss for the scar resting within the curved dip between his thumb and index.

“ for every time you used just a flick of your fingers to defend everyone back then, when you didn’t even have full control over your quirk. “

a longing sigh leaves him as he reminisces briefly on the memory. you place a soft kiss upon the scar resting at the side of his pinky.

“ for every fist you made with this hand, for every punch you’ve delivered in the name of other’s safety. “

a drop splashed onto his arm, trickling down and tainting the scars etched into his forearm with a subtle, diaphanous sheen. you look up through your lashes, and a prominent gloss coats the kindness of his dark emeralds. your hand comes up to carefully caress his cheek, cupping it gently as the pad of your thumb swipes beneath his eye, wiping away the upcoming tear. your features are knitted together in concern.

“ are you okay? i can stop if you want me to— “

he takes your hand in both of his, squeezing as if to keep you there forever. “ no, don’t. please.“

it’s a tiny whisper, a softened plea into the dark quiet of the night, as if he were ashamed for wanting to be taken care of. your brows curve downward as you pull your twined hands to your lips, tenderly planting your lips where your skin kissed his.

“ hey, hey. it’s okay. it’s okay. “ you hush him, running your free hand through his thick tendrils of vivid, verdant green.

he leans into your touch, nodding at you as if to urge you to continue, which you gladly accept.

you shift a little closer to him, kissing the thick mark of serration painted into the skin of his wrist.

“ for every countless moment you’ve sacrificed for your dream. “

another kiss to the one just above it.

“ for every hour bled into the night that you spent helping me train. “

your fingers dance along his arm, finally stopping at the scar stretching from his elbow and dragging upwards. as per routine, your lips come down to delicately kiss it.

“ for every ‘ plus ultra! ‘ you’ve ever passionately shouted. “

little giggles left the both of you at that.

your touch trails to the scar just beside it, kissing it as well.

“ for every life you’ve ever saved. “

you look him in the eye. holding his arm like this, you were so close to him. and yet, you didn’t want to pull away. if anything, it was the very last thing you would ever want to do. he matched your stare, a certain sense of longing displaying in your gaze as it reflects off of his. the prolonged stare lasts longer than it probably should, longer than what best friends should probably look at each other this closely, this intimately for. the moonlight dimly shines through your window.

and then it happens.

his lips collide with yours in a captivating symphony, hands going straight to twirl through the locks of your hair as you wrap yours in a loose loop around his neck. everything feels as though it had all snapped into place, and the tension you had felt before was all completely dissipated now, displaced into the passion in which this kiss exuded. it was earth-shattering, galaxy-shredding. it felt as if even pain itself could never reach either of you, not in this moment.

this moment was for the both of you, and no one else. in this moment, in his arms, nothing and no one could hurt you.

he pulls away, stunned, lips parted with a saturated red. you stare at him with just about the same level of blankness, of utter shock at what you two had just done.

but then the realization catches up with him, and he is pulled out of the daze. much to your surprise, he doesn’t move away. if anything, he pulls you closer, enveloping both your hands within his just as he did before.

and just as you had done earlier, he brings them to his lips.

“ and that’s for every ‘ i love you ‘ i’ve ever wanted to say to you but never had the guts to. “

[hnychn]

𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐀 [𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍]

summary : armin stood on the beaches shore as the salty breeze cradled his face, and his mind could only wander to you.

warnings : character death, mentions of blood

word count : 2300+

a/n : i am so sorry to armin for writing this, but i love him sm

navigation || attack on titan masterlist

"Let's see the sea together, Armin!"

Armin got off his horse and relished in the feeling of the salty ocean breeze cradling his face, and his mind could only wander to you. 

The two of you grew up together. Your mother had introduced you to a shy blonde boy when you were younger, he hid behind his grandfather’s leg with only half of his face showing, but it was enough for you to see his brilliant blue eyes. There was something about them that gave you hope, despite his timid and recluse nature, whenever you looked into his eyes you felt like you could take on the world. 

It was easy becoming his friend, especially after you found him reading one of your favorite books in an alley. The two of you bonded over your shared interest in books, admittedly Armin had a stronger interest than you and would often ramble for hours about the plot of books and the underlying meanings behind characters and their developments, but the shine in his eyes whenever he spoke filled you with a feeling your seven year old mind couldn’t put a word to; but if there was one thing clear to you, it was that you liked the feeling. And you’d do anything to feel it until your last dying breath. 

Eren and Mikasa were another easy addition to your duo. It was easy for you to bond with Mikasa over your shared protection over the two boys, and Eren was overall an easy person to get along with. Armin introduced the idea of seeing the sea to Eren one afternoon near the river during sunset.

Armin had brought the book he borrowed from his grandfather and told Eren all about the beauties of the outside world, the same excited blush and shiny blue eyes filled with hope and wonder on his face when he told you the exact same. 

Of course, Eren hadn’t believed the ocean was filled with salt, and neither had you. It seemed too far fetched for a body of water as large as Armin claimed to be filled with never ending salt. But the excitement and hope in his eyes stopped you from arguing with him, only nudging Eren with your elbow, a cheeky smile on your face. 

“C’mon now Eren, you’re telling me you don’t believe in that when there’s literal titans walking around our world?” 

Eren only scoffed and nudged you back a bit harder, “Well it’s better than believing dead people become butterflies.” 

Your ears burned in embarrassment as you crossed your arms, a pout on your lips as you sent Eren a half hearted glare out of the corner of your eyes, turning back to the sunset the two of you were watching, “I happen to like believing in it very much.” 

Eren shrugged, “what was the story again?” 

You smiled, “My mother told me our souls are all butterflies and when we die, they’re set free into the world. She said that when a loved one dies, their butterfly will come visit you to say goodbye before flying away and they visit you again when you need it the most.” 

Armin stared at you as you retold the story for the millionth time; but no matter how many times you told it, he always paid close attention. Your eyes would shine brightly and there would be a smile on your face he rarely ever saw, so every time you would smile, he committed it to his memory until the next time he saw it. He never told you, but he believed in the story too, sometimes he finds himself wishing he had told you.

The four of you joined the Training Corps together after Wall Maria had fallen and later the Survey Corps. There were many hardships and surprises as the four of you fought for the freedom of humanity and raised in the ranks of the military. 

You teased Eren relentlessly after everyone found out he was a titan, which only led to play fights and roughhousing in the middle of the Mess Hall. Mikasa never broke these fights apart and Armin stopped worrying about either of you getting hurt, they knew this was your own curious way of encouraging the other to fight their hardest. 

But it was during the retaking of Wall Maria that changed everything. 

Before everything had started, you and Armin snuck out in the middle of the night to stare at the stars and just talk. Peaceful moments like those were few and far between, the weight of jsjdf weighing heavy on both of you. 

“What color do you think the ocean is?” 

You never looked away from the stars above you, your head tilting to the side at Armin’s sudden question. You could feel the build up of hesitation in your chest as your mind went to war of how to answer. Would you allow yourself to speak with your heart and answer his question truthfully? 

You shrugged, “Maybe it’s clear like the rivers.”  

You could tell Amrin was a bit dissatisfied at your less than creative answer, you were disappointed in yourself. You should have been honest. Perhaps you’ll tell him what color you think the ocean is after you retake Wall Maria. 

It all went to hell. Most of Hange’s squad had died when Barthold had turned into the colossal titan and you had been heavily injured when you pushed Sasha out of the way of Reiner’s attack. Nobody had been able to get to you fast enough, and you felt your bones crack when you collided with the ground. 

You heard your friends call out to you, Mikasa’s voice louder than the rest, and your body ached for rest, but you got up. You refused to die by the hands of a traitor. 

You couldn’t die. Not here. Not now. Not after promising Armin to see the sea together. So you fought on. You fought against Reiner, the screeching of your nearly destroyed gear fed into the dizziness you felt from the impact; you fought against the ache in your bones and soul that pleaded for you to stop, to rest; you fought against the pull of your body into unconsciousness, you couldn’t pass out, not here; you fought against the searing pain you felt when you were once again slammed into a building, your body meeting the familiar crunch of the ground; you fought against the tug of your eyelids and the sleep that threatened to consume you whole and never give you back. 

You fought against it all - for Armin. 

The rest of the squad continued to fight, sparing you glances every now and then, but they fully expected you to get up again. They knew you were a fighter -  knew you had plans for after they retake Wall Maria - but after agonizingly long minutes of your body laying still on the blood stained floor, blood of your own beginning to pool around you, panic set in. 

Mikasa was at your side in an instant after a desperate call of your name. You hadn’t responded. When she got to you, she could hear your shallow, desperate attempts to fill your lungs with air, only to choke on the blood pooling in your throat. Hastily placing her hands against the gaping wound on your stomach, she tried to stop the bleeding, her eyes hazy with unshed tears and fear for your life. 

You could just about make out her figure above you through the combination of the bright sun blinding you and the haziness of sleep threatening to overtake you. 

“C’mon, y/n, stay awake.” Her voice was muffled, almost as if your head was underwater, “don’t die, don’t die, don’t die.” 

Weakly, your hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling slightly to remove her hands from your wound. She shook her head, her tears now falling in clumps down her face, landing on your blood stained cheek, “You can’t die.” 

You smiled up at her. She had always cared for you like a mother would, making sure you were fed, making sure you were safe, making sure you were loved. It brought you comfort, especially now that your gasps became louder and your heart pounded loudly in your ears from the lack of oxygen. You would have preferred not to be in this situation at all, every memory you had since birth flashing before your eyes as your body grew cold, but her presence made the process just a bit easier. 

Your eyelids bobbed as you tried to keep them open, but your energy was fading and so was your life, and the only thing you could think to say to the girl sobbing above you, pleading for you to just stay with her was, “thank you.” 

Mikasa could only sob harder as your grip on her wrist went limp and your eyes dulled. She sobbed for her lost friend, the friend she swore to protect the moment she laid eyes on you. She sobbed for Armin, and she couldn’t bear the image of his reaction to your death. 

It was only after the fight, after Armin had been turned into a titan to save him, did Mikasa feel a foreign clump in her pocket. Her hands were still stained with your blood, but she pulled it out nonetheless. It was a letter.

 A letter addressed to Armin. 

Armin pulled out the worn paper from this pocket of his trousers. The edges were frayed and the paper browned with age, but he still kept it. 

Dear Armin, 

If you’re reading this, it means I didn’t survive the battle. As I’m writing this, you’re asleep next to me, having fallen asleep on the roof during one of your star gazing nights. Nights like these are what keep me going. Everyday before an expedition, I always think back to these moments, and they fill me with determination to experience another with you. 

But tonight was different. You asked me what color I think the ocean is. I laughed and said I had no clue, they were probably clear like the rivers. I lied. I don’t think the ocean is clear like the rivers. It’s blue. 

I say that because whenever I think of the ocean, I think of you. I think about how you always get excited to tell someone about the outside world and what that book your grandfather had hidden said. I think about how blue your eyes look when you talk about it, and how they shine with such brilliance and hopefulness to see it for yourself. I think about how deep and emotion filled they are, how some parts of your eyes are a darker blue than others, how they change shades depending on your mood or the lighting. 

How they fill me with a feeling that terrifies me. 

I know I probably shouldn’t write this, especially if you do end up reading this because it might cause you more pain than my actual death, but I’m going to be selfish for once, and I hope you can forgive me. 

Armin, I love you. 

And I know that’s such a shitty thing to say in a letter you’ll receive after my death, but I do. I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I’ve felt like this since the moment I met you when we were seven, but I couldn’t figure out why my tummy felt all weird around you. It was when we got into the Training Corps, we were doing hand to hand combat training and you gave me a big hug later that night, proud of yourself for finally being able to take down your opponent. It was then that I could figure out what I was feeling. And it terrified me. Because there we were, training to give our lives to humanity, training to fight against the very beings that took our families from us. 

 And, call me selfish, but i don’t think I could heal from losing you, but I know you can heal from losing me. So I didn’t tell you. I lived with this secret for years, and sometimes I felt like telling you and getting this weight off of my chest, but just the image of you not coming back from an expedition plagued my mind, and I never could tell you. 

Do you remember the story I told you? The one about the butterflies? I hope you do, because I’ll be visiting you and you better not squish me, or I’ll haunt you. 

I’m sorry I broke my promise. I’m sorry we couldn’t see the sea together. Maybe in another life, where we don’t have to worry about titans or being eaten or fighting for our lives and our freedom - maybe then, we can see the sea together. 

Forever yours, 

    Y/N L/N

A teardrop fell on the browning paper. Armin hadn’t even realised he was crying. After he woke up on top of the newly reclaimed Wall Maria, he first inquired about you, hoping to celebrate taking back your hometown with him. That’s when Eren told him everything. Armin was sure he had never cried as much as he did then, never felt pain as painful as losing you. 

They were able to recover your body, Mikasa made sure they did. Armin only sobbed harder when he held your hand, its usual comforting warmth replaced with a coldness that still haunts him, even three years later. 

Mikasa and Eren stood a few paces behind him, giving him some space to take everything in while they reminisced about their own memories of you. 

The salty breeze of the ocean cradled his face, and his salty tears tasted bitter against his tongue. He felt something soft flutter against his cheek, and gasped when he saw a blue butterfly land on the frayed end of your letter. Armin smiled for the first time in a while. 

“I guess you were right, y/n. . . the ocean is blue.” 

The salty breeze of the ocean cradled his face and the butterfly flapped its wings and flew off after a strong gust of wind. Armin was a bit sad to see it go, but he smiled nonetheless. 

Because he knew, you had seen the ocean, too.

a/n: sorry if it doesn't make sense in some parts this is my first time writing a full imagine work thing, and actually publishing it, so i'm a bit worried this hadn't come out the way i wanted it to. either way, i hope you all enjoyed this :)

[papergirllife]

Bitter/Sweet Drabbles

*gif credits to owner

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The way he smiled at her, the way their chemistry made fans of both fandoms cheer made you worry. It’s common for artists to have stages with each other, especially if they took on emceeing jobs or during award shows.

You weren’t angry, nor disappointed in any way. But the way they were smiling at each other made you nervous. You always had a very serious case of insecurity, it started ever since your ex started cheating on you, you hadn’t dare to leave the relationship, until you confronted him, then he left you permanently, only leaving a huge scar on your heart. You hadn’t known that the wound would reopen until today.

When it all became too much for you, when SM announced that he’ll consider taking on the role, you went to look for his co star’s account on instagram, and she’s so beautiful, Jaehyun is way out of your league, you knew this from the start. Yet she’s at the same level of beauty as he is, what if he finally sees that he made the wrong choice? And leaves you for her?

Then you found a short clip of a fan pointing out that Jaehyun panicked when he received a text from someone during his birthday live a few months back, you looked at it a hundred times to see a sunflower emoji saved as the contact’s name. But you were most definitely not the sunflower emoji. So who was it?

You could feel yourself panicking as you laid down on your shared bed with Jaehyun, has he shared this bed with anyone other than you? You try to bury your thoughts as you switched on some random movie on netflix, yet your heart wasn’t really into anything that’s happening on the screen.

“Y/N? Y/N?”

You woke up to the voice of Jaehyun calling for you, it was a Sunday, and he just got back from another inkigayo episode. You soon felt his arms wrapped around your tired body. You tensed up when he did so, flinching at his touch like fire being burnt on your skin.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

“I think I’m just feeling a bit cold from the constant rain, I’ll be fine, you can go get dinner with the boys, I want to sleep.”

“Oh, okay. Should I get you some medicine now?”

“There still some in the cupboard. I won’t be needing any.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.”

You successfully avoided his eyes, the eyes that make you want to give him the whole world if you could, the eyes that would send you into cloud nine, as well as a painful death over the cliff.

Once he left the door, you cried and cried even though you didn’t really know what you were crying for at this point, until you tired out yourself, slipping into slumber.

Jaehyun could sense something was wrong when he woke up to find that you had left his embrace, when he clearly remembered that he pulled you against himself as close as possible, and when your hugs were short and tensed. He finally decided to ask when the both of you sat down for lunch, when you finally came out of the room saying you had lots of work to do.

“Is something up, Y/N?”

“Nothing, why would you think so?”

“I feel like you’re a bit distant these days.”

“I’m just busy.”

You weren’t looking him in the eyes when you answered him, instead your eyes were trained on the plate of noodles in front of you, suddenly finding them very interesting.

“You’re avoiding me.”

“I’m not, Jae, it’s going to be month end, I just have lots to fix before passing it up to my boss.”

“Look at me then, look up Y/N, stop avoiding my eyes.”

When you did as he said, Jaehyun was shocked to see how tired and swollen your eyes were, and he had only seen you like this once, when you got out of your last relationship. 

“Y/N, tell me what’s wrong, babe. Why have you been crying so much?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing.”

“I’m just insecure okay?!”

You hadn’t meant on lashing out at him, but your emotions had been running high these past few days. You could see the shock in Jaehyun’s eyes, the realisation that it was your doing, made tears leak at the corner of your eyes.

“I’m sorry, it has nothing to do with you, it’s just me”

Then you rushed into your bedroom, locking the door behind you.

Jaehyun was trying to decipher what you had said, were you back with your ex? Are you leaving him? Are you still conflicted on who to be with? Jaehyun laid down on the couch after clearing up the plates, not knowing what to do.

When you heard complete silence outside your bedroom, you sneaked out and laid a blanket on top of his sleeping figure.

That very night after having dinner with his members, Jaehyun tried his bedroom door once again, finding that it was unlocked. He went in to see your sleeping figure, so beautifully peaceful unlike earlier that day, what did he do to make you so distressed? What if your ex was looking for you again? Would you choose that trash over him?

Jaehyun sat next to your sleeping figure, his hand brushing away hair that was stuck onto your cheeks by your dried tears. When you woke up with such hurtful eyes, Jaehyun could feel his heart clench.

“Can I ask you something, Jae?”

Your voice was croaky from all the sleep, but you didn’t care, you needed to know now.

“Who’s the person you saved as a sunflower on your contacts that contacted you during one of your v lives when you were showing your phone to your fans?”

“What are you talking about? That’s the florist shop that I buy your flowers from, their shop’s logo is a sunflower and their name is very long, so I was lazy to type it out, and put the emoji instead. The reason I was worried was because they sent a text to confirm my order being sent to this address. You didn’t trust me?”

You looked up to see Jaehyun sporting hurtful eyes at what he was suspicious about, you let your gaze fall back down on your hands clasped upon your thighs, emitting a loud sigh.

“It’s not you that I don’t trust, I don’t trust myself.”

“What do you mean, Y/N?”

“What I mean is that I don’t have enough faith in my plain old looks and boring personality to keep you interested in me for forever.”

Jaehyun’s feelings went from being hurt, to being heartbroken, not for himself, but for you. The words you said had such heavy feelings that his broad shoulders sagged, he thought you were suspicious towards him, but it was self doubt. When did this start again? He thought he had brushed all your worries from your past relationship away, is he the source of all your insecurities now? 

You got up and walked inside the connected bathroom, standing in front of the mirror to look at your own tear stricken face, too emotional drained to even bother putting in the effort to wipe them away.

You looked back at Jaehyun who sat hunched on the bed, his own tears crinkling at the corner of his own eyes. You didn’t know what are his feelings towards you are now. Anger? Disappointment? 

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun.”

Your voice rang loud and clear as the echos bounced off the walls of the bathroom towards the bedroom, letting it ring into Jaehyun’s head a few times. He heard it loud and clear, shaking his head, not wanting you to apologise when you’re most clearly not in the wrong, but he couldn’t utter the words yet, a lump in his mouth as his head spins.

“I’m like a broken mirror, no matter how much effort you use to put the pieces back together, I’ll still be broken.”

You felt more tears escape your eyes as you said this, you knew the truth all along, but you still let yourself love another being, even when you knew how heavy your emotional baggage weighs.

When Jaehuyn heard what you had said, he made himself force down the rock in his mouth, you’re not broken, no one is allowed to say that, not even yourself. He walks to the bathroom, and pulls you into his embrace, out of the cold and empty toilet.

“A mirror will never be broken Y/N, they reflect the same thing at different but all very unique and beautiful angles, that’s how you see me, you’re the only one who sees each and every one of my sides but yet you choose to stay next to me.”

Jaehyun knew what he had to do to heal your aching heart when he first met you, he swore to himself that he’s never going to give up. He knew the weigh on his shoulders wouldn’t be an easy fit, but as long as he’s standing tall, there will always be a place for your head on his shoulders, right now, tomorrow, and many more days to come.

[plaidbooks]

Hi! Could you please do a detective Sonny and reader where they’re both kidnapped together? The reader volunteers herself to be hurt/etc. to protect Sonny? It leads to them eventually disclosing their feelings for each other before being rescued by the team.

Bartering Pain

A/N: Oh Anon, you’re after my own heart with this prompt! I live for this (cause I’m a SLUT for angst!). This gets kinda heavy, but I hope you still enjoy!

Tags: torture, knives, stabbing, attempted rape

Words: 2897

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles

It was your partner’s, Sonny’s, day off, but you were still texting him, keeping him up-to-date on some of the cases he was missing. After some back and forth, you eventually offered to bring him some files and notes, bring him up to speed in person rather than over text.

“You stay safe, [y/l/n],” Olivia warned. “Text me when you make it to his place.” She didn’t need to say why, and you didn’t ask; there was a small group of unknowns who were furious with the NYPD. Officers had been disappearing off the streets, only for their bodies to be found weeks later, bloodied and broken.

“Will do, Lieu,” you replied, smiling. Grabbing all the files you needed, you headed out of the department, your gun on your hip.

 ********************

You buzzed Sonny’s intercom when you made it there, and he said he’d come down, meet you outside. He was quick down the elevator, smiling as he saw you. “Hey, hun,” Sonny greeted. He gave you a hug, which you happily returned; you and Sonny were close, best friends—even if you wanted something more—and you were both big huggers.

“Hey Son. Here’s those files on the Williamson case.”

He nodded. “Perfect. Why don’t we go up, chat about it there?” Before you could respond, there was a sharp pain to the back of your head, and then everything went black.

 ********************

Groaning, you squinted your eyes open, the room fuzzy around you. You were sitting in a chair, your hands bound behind you and your legs attached to the front legs of the chair with duct tape. There was a splitting headache behind your eyes, and you had to blink a few times to clear your vision. You were in a plain room; the walls used to be an off-white color, but were now covered in grime, dried blood splattered randomly. There was a plain door on the wall across from you, but there were no windows, no other furniture…except for Sonny. He was slumped in a chair in front of you, bound as you were, blood leaking down the side of his face from his temple. He hadn’t yet awoken, but his chest was still moving—he was alive.

“C-Carisi,” you murmured, then louder, “Carisi!” But he didn’t stir, his head lolling on his chest. You looked down at your bound legs, trying to struggle against the tape, but it was futile. You vaguely noticed that you no longer had your gun nor your phone, and the panic started to set in. Stay calm, you thought; panic wouldn’t help you here. Besides, you never texted Liv—she had to know something bad had happened. And, in paranoia, your Lieutenant also forced you all to carry around SMS chips, hidden in your shoe so that the department could find you in case of this very thing.

“Carisi!” you tried once more before the door opened. You watched as three men came into the room, all burly men of Hispanic descent, but unfamiliar to you. They were unmasked, which was bad for you—they didn’t expect you to survive, to ID them later.

“Well, well, someone’s awake,” one man said, sneering at you, the door shutting behind them. He had a short knife in his hand, the blade maybe 2 inches long. You swallowed as it glinted in the light.

Your eyes went from the man who had spoken to Sonny, then back to him. “Let him go—he’s not a cop. He’s—he’s just a friend I was visiting.” The blood on Sonny’s head was already making your heart hurt, and you had seen the crime scenes of the officers who were found. You couldn’t let that happen to your partner.

The man came closer, playing with the knife in his hands. “You hear that, boys? We must’ve made a mistake. Apparently, this is not Detective Dominick Carisi Jr. with Manhattan SVU, in the 16th precinct.” Your heart sunk—they must’ve memorized the department…but, if they were outside his apartment, was this a hit?

The man sauntered up closer, until he was right in front of you. He twirled the knife in his hands before gripping the hilt, looking you directly in the eye. “Don’t. Lie. To me,” he growled before he sunk the blade into the top of your thigh in one smooth motion. You cried out in pain, the sharp steel gliding through your skin easily. Sonny stirred, but was still out. The man let go of the knife, leaving it sheathed in your leg as he gripped your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“Listen, you little bitch; you and your partner are going to die today. That’s just a fact. Now, the more you piss me off, the longer I’m going to draw this out. So, please, piss me off.” He wiggled the blade, twisting it in you, and you whimpered.

Sonny let out a low groan as he came to, rolling his neck as he opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. His eyes locked to the knife in your thigh, then to your face as he jolted against the duct tape binding him.

“Get away from her,” Sonny snarled, his voice low. His eyes weren’t completely focused, and you knew he had a concussion.

One of the other men went over to him, saying, “oh don’t worry, there’s enough to go around.” He cocked back his arm, then punched Sonny in the face. The force of the hit pushed him onto two legs of the chair, and the man grabbed it, pulling him back onto all four.

“Hey! Leave him alone! H-hit me instead,” you said through gritted teeth. Sonny locked eyes with you, shaking his head slightly, blood trailing from his split lip. But like hell were you going to let them hurt Sonny…your sweet, kind Sonny….

“No, let her go—” Sonny started but the man leaning over you cut him off.

“Q, shut that prick up. I’ll take care of this one.” You only had a moment to see the man—Q, apparently—punch Sonny once more in the face before you got a fist in the cheek. Your teeth rattled in your head, and the ache behind your eyes exploded into pain.

The third man, who had been quiet this whole time, finally spoke up. “Come on, T. Let’s just kill them before their team finds us.”

“Relax, D. The NYPD has been fucking useless in trackin’ us down—they won’t find us any time soon. We can afford to have some fun,” T replied. He gripped the knife still lodged in your thigh and yanked it out, blood seeping out of the wound. It didn’t seem like a lot of blood, so you were hoping he had missed your arteries. You glanced up at Sonny, eyes locking to his. He looked…scared, still working his arms against the duct tape. The wound at his temple had reopened, fresh blood trailing down his face and onto his shirt, and you wanted nothing more than to hold him. The fear was setting in; you were going to die here, weren’t you? But, if you could stall just long enough, maybe Liv could find you guys…or at least Sonny….

T looked between you two, noticing your stare. “You both work sex crimes, huh? You know what would be really fun?” T murmured. You had a sinking suspicion you knew where he was going with this, and you start to pull at your restraints. This just made T smirk, and he looked over at Sonny. “How long have you two worked together? 2 years, right? I bet you’ve pictured her naked before.”

Realization passed over Sonny’s face, and he was struggling so hard, the chair was scooting across the floor. “D, you hold whitey’s chair, make sure he watches this. Q, why don’t you get a little taste first?” T ordered, motioning him over. “You can have her loud mouth; I want her filthy fucking cunt.”

“Don’t you fucking dare touch her!” Sonny yelled, fighting desperately to get free.

T brought that sharp knife under the collar of your shirt, cutting away at the material. You pulled away from him as much as you could, instinct taking over as you tried to retreat. But in your haste to move away, the knife sliced into you, and you whimpered at the fresh pain, the blood tickling you as it trailed down your skin. Q came to stand behind you, resting his big hands on your shoulders and holding you still as T finished cutting your shirt off your body.

“You can go first; I can wait,” T smirked at Q before looking at you. “You bite him, and—” he placed the knife against your throat— “it’ll be the last thing you ever do.” You froze, your body going stock still as the sharp blade bit into your skin.

You looked across the room at Sonny, who was still fighting the restraints. There was a wildness in his eyes, a deep fear as he pulled hard, and then there was a deafening pop, and Sonny screamed in pain, his left arm going limp behind him as he slumped forward. The sound of his pain ripped your heart in two, and you sobbed silently as you watched him sit in defeat. Chest heaving, he pulled his head up, eyes locking to yours, tears in his eyes as he mouthed the words, “I love you.”

Your heart clenched and you mouthed them back, tears sliding down your cheeks, the blade of T’s knife pushing against the skin of your throat. You stared into Sonny’s bright blue eyes until Q’s body blocked him from your view, standing over you, straddling you, his bulge directly in front of your face.

Disgust welled up inside you, and you fought the urge to vomit. At least this was happening to you, and not Sonny; you couldn’t imagine sitting there, watching this unfold, unable to do anything.

His hands went to his belt, undoing it quickly and shoving his pants down, his boxer-covered erection mere centimeters from your mouth. With T’s freehand, he grabbed your jaw, forcing your mouth open. Q grabbed the waistband of his boxers, a huge grin on his face.

There was a loud crash as the door was slammed open. Q dove to the side off you, and T pushed the knife against your throat, sinking the blade in deeper as he screamed threats, but he was cut off by a gunshot, his limp body falling away from you. You took a shuttering gasp as the pressure from your throat was now gone. You frantically looked for Sonny, for the security of his bright blue eyes. He was still sitting across from you, eyes wide, in pain, but also such relief. Olivia, Fin, and Rollins were behind him, as well as a slew of ESU officers, all armed to the teeth. They quickly cuffed Q and D, Liv coming towards you.

“Take care of Sonny first…please,” you begged, your voice weak. But Fin was already there, cutting the duct tape at his wrists.

“It’s okay; you’re both okay,” Liv murmured, going to work on your own restraints. Once your arms were free, Liv handed you a jacket to cover yourself, then went to work on your legs. “We need EMTs in here,” Liv called out, examining your wounds. As soon as you were free, you shakily pushed yourself out of the chair, weakly stumbling towards Sonny, who still had one leg duct taped down. Fin freed him just as you got to him, and Sonny pushed himself to standing, wobbling a bit, his left arm hanging uselessly at his side.

Letting out a loud sob, you fell against his chest, clutching at him desperately, ignoring everyone else around you. Sonny let out a low grunt in pain, but held you close, stroking your hair with his one hand. “You’re okay. You’re safe,” he whispered into your hair.

“We’re safe,” you sniffled back, nuzzling into his chest.

The EMTs came into the room quick enough, leading you and Sonny out of the room and towards the ambulances. But you couldn’t force yourself to let go of Sonny’s side, suddenly afraid that you’d never see him again, no matter how ridiculous that was.

“We need to take you to the hospital,” one of the EMTs said, trying to pull you away from him, but you clung on, unable to explain your fears.

“It’s okay, doll. I’ll see you at the hospital,” Sonny murmured, kissing the top of your head.

You shook your head. “I-I can’t leave you, Dom. Please,” you replied.

“There’s not enough room on the gurney for both of you…don’t make us sedate you,” the EMT warned. You sighed as you let them put Sonny in the back of an ambulance, his eyes boring into yours before they closed the door on him, then led you to your own ambulance.

 *****************

The stab wound in your leg had missed your arteries, needing only a few stitches, while the cut in your shoulder and along your throat were shallow. You had a mild concussion from the hit to the back of your head and you were in shock. Sonny had a more severe concussion and a dislocated shoulder, plus a split lip, but was otherwise fine.

After you were stitched up, you grabbed your IV stand and forced yourself to your feet, wandering the halls, looking for Sonny. You needed to see him, needed to know he was alright. Rollins had found you stumbling through the hospital, drugged and dazed.

“[y/n]? What are you doing out of bed?” she asked. She had two vases of flowers in her hands; tulips, with little balloons saying “GET WELL SOON”.

“S-Sonny,” you mumbled, and Rollins nodded, gesturing with her head and leading you down a hallway. She hurried into a room, coming back out without the vases, wrapping her arms around you and helping you into Sonny’s room. He was still asleep, the pain meds flowing through him.

Amanda deposited you into a chair, standing next to you, still looking concerned. “What were you doing wandering around? You shouldn’t be up yet—”

“I needed to see him, Rollins. I-I needed to know he was okay,” you murmured. You felt weak, and you hated it, but you felt better, safer now that you could see Sonny, alive. Amanda looked confused, but you didn’t know how to explain it. “I…you weren’t there. You—don’t know what we went through, what it was like in that room….”

She nodded. “You’re right; I wasn’t there….” She stood then. “I’ll, uh, I’ll leave you two alone, come back later.”

You smiled your thanks, then returned your gaze to Sonny’s face. You could still hear his ear-piercing scream when his shoulder had popped out, could hear the threat in his voice, see the danger in his eyes when he said, “don’t you fucking dare touch her!”. Your heart strained; you were glad in the moment that the kidnappers had taken it out on you. But now that you sat and thought about it, them torturing you probably hurt Sonny more than any physical wound ever could. You couldn’t imagine sitting there, unable to do anything as they hurt Sonny, but Sonny had to endure that with you. Tears in your eyes, you reached out, grabbing his hand.

Slowly, Sonny’s eyes opened, a small groan leaving his lips. “[y/n]?” he asked, voice raspy.

“I’m here, Son. I’m safe—we’re safe,” you whispered.

He gave you a small smile, his hand turning over to interlock his fingers with yours. But the smile faltered as tears clouded his vision. “I-I thought we were gonna die in there. And—and you were almost…almost—”

“I know, Son. But I wasn’t. And we didn’t. We’re alive and we’re safe.” The tears were in your eyes now, and you blinked at them, trying to stop them from falling.

“I’ve…never been so afraid in my whole life; I couldn’t even think to pray. I could only think about you, trying to distract them from you,” Sonny said softly, closing his eyes, letting a few tears fall. He opened his eyes, locking them to yours. “I-I love you so much, and I couldn’t take that—” his voice broke as he sobbed.

You couldn’t stop the tears that spilled down your cheeks. “I-I love you, too, Son. I was…I could take it, if it meant you were spared. I couldn’t let them hurt you.”

He sniffled, trying to control himself. “But I couldn’t take it—watching you get hurt was the worst pain­—"

“I know, Son, I know. I can…still hear your shoulder….”

Sonny grimaced. “We…we have to move past this; stop living in that room. We’re safe, we’re okay. Let’s start there, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. Standing, you leaned over him, giving him a wet, slopping kiss, the salt from both of your tears mingling. Sonny wrapped his good arm around you, his lips desperate on yours, as if he’d never get the chance to kiss you again. Reluctantly, you sat back down, unwilling to leave his bedside, unable to go back to your room. You knew this would take time, and a lot of therapy to work through it, but Sonny was safe. That’s all that mattered.

[yellowsugarwords]

hiyo!! i wanted to requests headcanons, but you dont have to do this if its too much. how about clementine having a panic attack when someone mentions like a word or a situation and goes off alone to calm down? not many people out there know how a panic attack actually feels and looks like, nor how it starts, and how people calm down. if you want, you can include the ericsons kids or the garcias to help her or comfort her after :))) ps i love the garcia fam sm

here are the garcias just for you bb ❤️ i’m in the mood to write some angst today lololol

and yes of course there’s gonna be gabentine ❤️❤️❤️

this is gonna be a long one OOOOPS so click to expand :’)

Javier: ‘Ranch’. Javier had mentioned in passing, suggesting that Richmond invest in one. Clem tensed and shouldered into herself at the phrase, but Javi hadn’t noticed a change until she softly excused herself, scurrying away. “I’ll be right back,” he said softly, waving and excusing himself passively. The group didn’t question it. Javier had always had a soft spot for Clementine. He always worried for her. the moment he closed the door to their small apartment, he could hear rustling in her room. He knocked on her door, noticing it wasn’t closed all the way. He caught her, curled up in the corner of her bed, her fingers knit through her hair. Her hat sat beside her, her bones rattled against her skin, and the whimpered she was attempting to suppress was rising. “Clem?” He hushed, closing and locking the door behind him. No one should see her like this. Not right now. “Hey,” he hushed, growing closer. The closer he got, the more distressed he could see she was. “Hey hey hey,” he slid into a spot beside her, a hand settling on one of her arms. She was cold to the touch. Each passing second made his heart ache more and more. “You’re okay, you’re okay, Clem.” He had never seen her in such a dishevelled state. Finally, she was able to glance up; face pale and riddled with tears. She looked petrified. “I’m sorry,” was all her soft voice could muster up. “Clem,” Javier hushed, easing himself against the wall her bed was pushed up against. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his side. Once she got close enough, he wrapped both arms around her, tucking her head under his chin, keeping her there. “I got you. You’re okay. I’m here.” He’d sit like that for as long as Clem needed. He didn’t care. She was worth it.

Kate: “Clem, do you want me to keep this? It’s a picture. It’s captioned ‘Duck, Kenny, and—” she hesitated, raising a brow at the final name. She turned to Clem, about to ask her how to pronounce it, but noticed her back was turned to the woman. She seemed tense with her shoulders high and head low. She pretended to keep writing on her clipboard, but Kate knew. Clem excused herself and left the room before Kate could draw closer, questioning her. She gave a worried glance at the others in the room - Gabe. Javi, and David - and darted after her. Eventually, she found her in her shared room, the door closed. Her body, curled up and hiding under her sheets. Kate knocked and called her name, but only hearing panicked shuffling and breathing as a response, she let herself in. Instantly, spotting the shaking lump under the blankets, she knew something was wrong. Her stomach curled into knots. “Clem?” “Leave me alone. My door was closed.” Her voice was shaky and nasally. Kate knelt by Clem’s bedside, her eyes teary seeing the girl in such pain. “Clem, hun, what’s wrong?” She frowned as she spotted the teen’s head peek out from under her blankets. Kate kept a hand on her cheek, brushing away Clem’s tears with her thumb. She listened as the girl fearfully recounted what was wrong and why her heart was aching. All night, Kate sat, held her hands, kissed her cheeks, and listened. She would be there for as long as Clem needed.

David: “You need to shoot.” He thought it was simple; a statement regarding one of the sick livestock in Richmond. If they let it live, they risked infecting the others. “We have no choice.” When David turned around - ready to answer the question Clem began asking before he needed to give the urgent order - and spotted her already wandering away. He called after her, raising a brow, but she ignored him. After finishing his urgent tasks, he made his way in the teen’s general direction. He assumed she was heading back to their shared home. When he arrived, he could hear the fumbling upstairs. He scurried up, fearing a confrontation was occurring. Bursting into Clem’s room, David found her curled up on her bed, her head tucked into her legs. She wailed the moment the door was burst open, curling deeper into herself. “Go away!” David froze, realizing the sudden terror she was in. “What’s going on? What happened?” Clementine only continued to wail, too shaken up to speak. Quickly, David shut and locked the door, scurrying to the girl’s bedside and kneeling in front of her. “Hey, hey hey,” he hushed, attempting to reach out to her. “What happened? Did someone hurt you?” Clementine shook her head, clenching nervously at her arms and head. He had seen this before, only before once with Gabe. Kate had insisted on taking care of him. Hesitantly, David  sat on the edge of Clem’s bed and settled a hand on her arm. She flinched. “It’s just me,” he said softly, “I’m not here to hurt you.” As Clementine relaxed, as her breathing calmed, David pulled her closer into his side, his arm draped over her shoulders. “Nothing’s going to happen, okay? I promise.”

Gabe: “Where’s AJ?” The question was asked in earnest, wondering where AJ had wandered off to on Richmond’s playground. Clementine had a flare of panic but he was located almost immediately, hidden from view behind the slide. Despite this, Clem’s fears didn’t subside. The pain in her chest grew worse. She excused herself, a hand clutched to her chest, scurrying for their home. Gabe stared after her, his gut hinting that something was wrong. He trotted after her, catching her just as she entered her bedroom. “Clem?” He called, catching her door before it could close. “What’s…” his voice faded. Clem's body was small and tightly wound as she made her way to her bed. She was shaking, Gabe could see that much. When she sat on her bed, she curled her knees into her chest, hiding her teary cheeks from view. “Oh Clem,” he sat on the edge of her bed, not wanting to alarm her by growing too close. Clem’s whimpers grew louder and louder, her panic heightening. “I-I can—” “Can you stay?” She glanced up, her teary eyes peeking over her arms. The sight broke Gabe’s heart, and he instantly began drawing closer to her. “Please don’t leave,” she pleaded as he sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his side. His palms rubbed at her arms, nervously allowing her head to rest on his shoulder. After a moment, worried that she would pull away, he rested his cheek on top of her. The sensation prompted a sigh from the shaking girl. Gabe could tell she was trying to force back her panic. “I got you, Clem.” He assured her softly. “I’m staying. I’m here. I got you.”

Mariana: “Who’s Lee?” The question was innocent - meant to learn more about Clementine in an attempt to befriend her - but Mariana could tell something was wrong. When Clem excused herself, Mariana waited a few minutes before following her. When she approached their shared room, she knocked on the partially-open door, spotting Clementine as the sound ricocheted off the walls. She was curled on top of her bed, laying down. She was wrapped in a blanket, her head buried and hiding. “Clem?” Mari called. “Please just leave,” Clem pleaded, voice muffled through the fabric. Mari ignored the request and drew closer, sitting on the edge of her bed. She nervously cleared her throat. “I’m not here to force anything. I’m just here to listen and be here.” At first, Clem didn’t react. After a moment of pause, she poked her out from her blanket, tucking it under her chin, breathing softly as she tried to centre herself. Mari remained there, reaching out to settle a hand against one of her arms, her presence warm, unwavering, and steady. It was exactly what Clementine needed.

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 💌☕️♡

[kabura-maru]

Here’s the first Kaise x Giyuu drabble I’ve done..! Honestly I love them sm haha might do her sis Hotaru and my beb Genya next idk... I promise x readers coming soon (>~<)

When a Blizzard Hits || Oc x Giyuu

With every step, the snow underfoot turned crimson. Every warm drop of blood created it’s own cavern, melting the snow away. The girl whose blood mingled with the snow staggered, her knees buckling and her legs eventually giving out beneath her.

Her hands collided with the frost in attempt to catch herself. The cold stung against her supple skin.

That’s all she could remember before her vision turned hazy and everything went dark.

———

——

—

The woman woke in a dark room on a less-than-comfortable futon. Her whole body ached from exhaustion, pangs of protest shot through her when she tried to sit up. The room was empty and cold.

How did she get here?

A soft creak from one side of the room caught the girl’s attention, causing her gaze to quickly flit to the source. A face meekly peaked from the crack in the door. She recognized the black wisps of hair falling messily from his shoulders.

“Kaise?” The man murmured, breaking the silence in the quaint room.

His footfalls were virtually silent, though he sauntered to the woman’s side with purpose.

“Giyuu!” She croaked joyfully “what happened? Last I remember I had killed the demon...”

“I found you passed out in the snow. you were wounded pretty bad... The weather wouldn’t permit me to get much farther than here.” He explained

The room fell silent again, Kaise mulling over the words in her head. He had found her and carried her here... and her wounds—

The ombre haired woman’s hand darted to her side where she had sustained a nasty gash, only to be greeted by layers of bandages over the torn skin. Giyuu’s eyes followed her curiously, but he didn’t say a word. The bandages were placed haphazardly at best, likely from Giyuu patching her up himself.

The woman let herself lightly flop down onto the futon beneath her. She stole the occasional glance at the man before she spoke again.

“So, the weather must be bad. I can feel the chill right into my bones” she exclaimed, feigning a shiver for emphasis

The man nodded while shirking his Haori off his shoulders.

“It’s snowing heavily. People are saying it’s going to be a blizzard.” He replied, wrapping the petite girl in his clothes

She blushed at his gesture, pulling the cloth close while simultaneously admiring his figure. She had never seen him without the mismatched fabric draped over his shoulders. He looked.... nice.

“Giyuu?”

“Hm?”

“Are you cold?”

The man’s ocean blue eyes wandered before resting on Kaise’s own turquoise ones. Mischief glimmered in her eyes, though he didn’t recognize it as such. He only held the contact for so long before drooping to the floor coyly.

“A bit, but I don’t mind it. I know you get cold easier, Kaise.”

The Water Hashira’s words made Kaise’s heart flutter in her chest. She had never outright told him such a thing, yet he knew anyways. A blush warmed her cheeks before she could manage to think up a good reply. Instead, the woman sputtered “why don’t you get under the covers with me?”

Both of the tiny room’s occupants flushed a bright red, a shade akin to the blood Kaise had spilled in the snow earlier.

Giyuu made attempts to cover his face with his hands. He averted his gaze, though it occasionally flickered back to the woman. Kaise, however, made much less graceful attempt at hiding her blush. She buried her face deep into her pillow and refused to move.

Every second that passed felt like a silent eternity. How could she say something so stupid without thinking?

Suddenly, Kaise felt a light tug at the blankets that she gripped tight. Out of curiosity, she turned slightly to catch a glimpse of the origin, only to watch the raven haired figure slip under the covers next to her.

“Giyuu??” She breathed out, feeling the man tense up from her response

“Oh... I thought...” he mumbled, pulling away

Kaise quickly grabbed the man’s wrist that held the blankets, pulling him back.

“No, no..!” She protested, nestling closer to him “you’re just letting the cold air under the covers, thats all.”

Giyuu stayed silent, processing that Kaise wasn’t actually averse to him being under the covers with her. Her light grip tugged him down a bit more, causing him to realize he was still letting the warmth from under the blankets escape. He hastily pulled the blankets up as he settled in, though unsure what exactly to do with his arms and hands.

Kaise has shifted now, rolling over on her side so they faced each other. Measly inches away, neither could think clearly over the drowning sound of their hearts pounding relentlessly.

Giyuu couldn’t bring himself to look at Kaise, but he didn’t close his eyes either. He felt her staring intently at him, so he didn’t think it right to pretend to doze off.

The man felt the covers shift before icey fingers grazed past his skin. It sent a chill down his spine, though he actually didn’t mind the contact. His confused gaze finally met Kaise’s.

The girl realized her movements after acting without thought, now flustered and sputtering “sorry.. your hair was in your face... I thought I should move it.. to... y’know... see you better.”

The room fell silent once more. The wind howled outside, tree branches crashing together, and thus the slayers knew snow must be falling as well. Kaise hid her pink tinged cheeks by ducking in closer to Giyuu’s chest. The way their bodies fell together naturally had Giyuu wrapping his arms around the girl, though he was too nervous to actually pull her close.

“Giyuu...” Kaise mumbled eventually from her place snuggled against him.

Giyuu met her call with a soft “hm”, prompting her to continue.

The girl lifted her head to look up at the boy. She felt her heart flutter, suddenly worrying that he might feel it too. This was the closest they had ever been, albeit mostly due to the cold weather, but the idea still made Kaise’s head spin.

The girl knew exactly what she wanted to ask, but the words wouldn’t come to her. Even after thinking through the sentence to make sure it was coherent, the words refused to leave her lips. Giyuu felt her grip tense around his uniform. Watching her duck away and hide her face once more, his brows knit together in silent concert. Kaise rested her head into his chest before letting out a soft whimper of frustration.

Giyuu finally touched Kaise, wrapping his arms around her and holding her back in a soothing manner. The action had the girl’s heart stir wildly and the grip on his uniform tightened. The man was much more concerned now, but didn’t voice any of it

She just couldn’t say it.

———

——

—

Kaise blinked her bleary eyes open, her sight fuzzy until adjusting to the morning light.

She fell asleep the previous night with the indisputable weight and warmth of another person beside her, it was the only way she could sleep well, but the futon was all but empty now.

Kaise reached her arms out, fumbling about the blankets as she sat up to find out where her comrade went. Her gaze quickly shifted downwards, noticing a mess of limbs and messy raven hair.

So Giyuu fell off the futon...

Stepping onto the cold hardwood floor, Kaise pattered lightly towards the man on the floor. She bent over him, careful to keep her loose hair from tickling him awake. He looked peaceful.

With every passing moment, she seemed to inch closer, as if he were a giant magnet and her whole body were made of metal. Her cheeks flushed, the heat even reaching her ears.

His face looked so... soft. No stoic look held across his features. No hidden sadness in his eyes. Just the occasional sleepy groan.

Kaise couldn’t help but want to touch him. To stroke his soft hair again. She didn’t get enough of it last night before the two turned away from each other and fell asleep. She craved more.

Her arm outstretched on its own, shakily yet surely. Where to, though? To caress his cheek and hold his face in her hands? To twirl her fingers through his dark locks? Maybe even interlock her fingers with his.

That’s when cornflower blue eyes met her aqua ones.

It took a moment for Kaise to realize her actions. Giyuu was staring down her outstretched arm, confused. She darted backwards, flustered.

“S-sorry... Giyuu-kun...” she mumbled through her clothes after having yanked them upwards to hide her bright red face.

[bbhl-incporated]

what happened in 2014? what was that post about?? (Btw I only now just noticed ur url is "goth"chanbaek not "got"chanbaek...)

L O L don’t worry about the url… I haven’t changed it since summer 2016 (when Monster came out and my mutuals made “goth” urls falsdk;jfaldsf)

So 2014 basically got hit by a huge shitstorm. The Sewol Ferry sinking of course was a national tragedy and left many idols devastated; some kids on the ship were very much fans of different idol groups and relatives / friends reached out to the idols to tell them so. I cried during the whole fiasco and I wasn’t even in the country …. the debacle just made my heart ache.

Related to the actual kpop industry itself, Kris did leave EXO in May of 2014 and opened the flood gates for the biggest SM scandal since the breakup of DB5K into 2VXQ and JYJ. (DBSK had the largest fandom to date, called Cassiopeia, and it had fans in China, Korea, Japan…. they were especially known for how big they were in Japan. Breakout and steady success in what was considered Asia’s largest music market, by foreign and non-American artists was absolutely amazing. For the record, it has names specific to each language: Tong Vfan Xien Qi = TVXQ, the Mandarin name; DBSK = Dong Bang Shing Ki, Korean name; and Tohoshinki is the Japanese name. They technically debuted as a Japanese act and not a Korean act releasing things in Japanese which adds some nuance important for considering record breaking and setting, money, etc which are not important for our purposes here.) Kris’s sudden departure opened wounds older kpop fans had considered closed since the breakup of Kpop’s largest act (BigBang wasn’t shit in comparison for quite some time and even LeeSooMan apparently considered SJ throwaways from DBSK) and cast yet another huge, negative, ugly spotlight on the abuses of SM Entertainment in the past. The sticky part is how people started to analyze why this departure was not so sudden, and I will return to that in a bit.

This departure itself was ugly because Kris left in the middle of Overdose promotions and a few weeks before EXO’s first tour would commence. For context, Overdose came as a follow up to EXO’s smashing 2013 success with Growl Repackage and Miracles in December. They became the first artists to become million-album sellers in years with Growl and they won Album of the Year at the Mnet Asian Music Awards, when G Dragon had won pretty much every thing else that night (lmao) and SHINee was also up for the award. So they, a rookie group less than 2 years old, managed to win that award despite the STIFF sunbae competition on top of becoming million sellers… All eyes were on them no doubt and the public and fans were looking forward to their next promotions and their first concert tour… … SO you can imagine the laser focus this drew to the group and to the company. I will tell you right now: Not. A. Pleasant. Experience. The fandom was l i t e r a l l y imploding and people were taking pro-Kris and anti-Kris stances everywhere and calling him a traitor and calling fans fake and — and there was the part where only Suho was on stage to receive EXO’s award right after the news came out and my soul broke in half and the days you could tell EXO had been crying before coming onstage and and and – THERE WAS JUST SO MUCH SAD AND ANGRY IN THE FANDOM I hated it.

There are many bloggers who were around, who I followed during that time who aren’t around anymore. T_T

If I tell and explain everything wrong that happened in 2014 I could be here quite a while, so I’ll keep it short and jump to Baek’s instagram post. He made that post (xx) and one or two others I think, in response to the vicious and heinous reactions he and Taeyeon received after Dispatch revealed they were dating. Yes, this happened even in the aftermath of Kris’ departure. Yes, this only made things worse. Why? Well to add fuel to the fire, Baek had made a sort of cheeky promise that he wouldn’t date until EXO had made it, weren’t rookies anymore… basically he “promised” not to date until around 5 years after EXO debuted. That would be this year… so you know …. those deluded fans who took him seriously flipped out. Add on to that the fact that Taeyeon is many years his sunbae in terms of activity in the industry and the leader of the Nation’s Girl Group ™ and both jealousy of her and resentment of the fact he was in a relationship caused fans to make vicious posts and comments on Instagram–BOTH of their Instagrams, though his was far worse–and many other social media sites and forums. (Twitter comes to mind too.) THEN to top it all off, Baek was an MC on a music show (Inkigayo maybe?) and YOU COULD SEE HE HAD BEEN STRESSED, SLEEP DEPRIVED AND CRYING on many days and so-called “””fans””” had the nerve to shout and call him a traitor–among other things–ON LIVE BROADCAST like h o l y  s h i t this was bad. Baek should not have had to ~apologize~ for dating Taeyeon, as he did in the post.

Okay now winding back to what I mentioned earlier: rumor theories. Theories about every damn thing started floating around. There was a big theory about how Kris had wanted out of EXO since before Wolf (Wolf preceded Growl, but both were in 2013) and that Kris fabricated his visa issue. I have that on my blog and can hunt it down for you if you want to read the full body of “Evidence ™” but it’s actually plausible. Another theory was that Taeyeon and Baek were not actually dating–and this has many strains. One strain indicates that the entire relationship was fabricated as a distraction from the Kris departure and lawsuit , while the other states that they did date at one time but broke up way before any of the drama started–SM just used them since they had been together before as an easy cover up. These kinds of theories did not help a damn thing and just seeded further distrust and resentment within fandoms. Like seriously you had SONEs and EXOL screeching at other over this relationship, and even though they were not majority or mainstream fandom members / opinions, they still became pretty vocal. Many bad egg EXOL attacked both Baek and Taeyeon, and fewer SONEs attacked one or both. The theories that surrounded their relationship, including that they gave “hints” with couple items and that Taeyeon gave Baek a fan gift just . It was so ugly. Kpop fans showed their ugliest side. There were venomous comments for weeks. Baek and Tae even left Instagram for a while and Baek stopped being energetic and talkative when with EXO. I hated it so. fucking . much.

Let me tell you. Within SM? It only gets worse. Outside of SM? It gets much worse.

Within SM… Luhan also leaves EXO in October of that year. That’s TWO members, both Chinese, leaving the SAME up-and-coming and ~spectacular~ group, in the SAME year. Boy did that get media attention. Oh, and SM’s stocks took a much bigger dip after Luhan left than when Kris left. Oh, and Luhan’s deteriorating condition was much more visible than Kris’s and just stoked the flames of hatred against SM all over again.  Oh, and Luhan was EXO’s biggest China connection and most popular member in China … hence the stock drop. A few months later, Luhan was making literally millions on his own, which reinforced the premise that the dude was worth wayyyy too valuable for SM to give up willingly. Which of course they didn’t , which is why the main lawsuit lasted for about 2 years. But yeah now the forever-12 group with 4 Chinese members was down to 10 and only 2 Chinese members (bad for connecting to the Chinese music market which is full of $$$$) and media was losing its mind ! So was the fandom! Now the definition of traitor had shifted and you were a traitor and YOU were a traitor and we’re all traitors !!!! 

And JESSICA LEFT SNSD TOO !!! The only way I can characterize everyone’s emotions at the time is: WHAT  T HE F UC K ??? Luhan and Jessica’s respective departures literally happened within two weeks of each other !!! What were we supposed to d o ??? Between all three departures, you felt like you were getting punched in the gut, then the face, then the genitalia, then kicked on the ground. SNSD was forever nine man, nation’s girl group, biggest Kpop girl group ever and suddenly a main vocalist is gone ??? B O Y !

Oh, I forgot to mention how Tao posted on his Instagram very …. resentful things when Kris left . Mmmmm yeah it was bad, not gonna elaborate too hard but … he took it back later in 2015. You probably know that he, too, is now a former EXO member by now.

2014 was good in that you had groups GOT7, Mamamoo, RedVelvet, WINNER, Akdong Musician, Lovelyz, JJCC, etc debut that year. But it was bad due to circumstances surrounding some of  those debuts. 

Notably, Red Velvet was accused of having their debut rushed because SM wanted to cover up the ongoing lawsuit news. Now I know this sounds ridiculous: a dating scandal AND debuting an entire group early just to cover up some bad publicity about an idol leaving your company? Well given how persistent the press was and how bad the lawsuit and allegations made SM look … it’s not that difficult to believe and it most definitely was not hard to gobble up as reliable gossip at the time. At the time, it was considered the norm that SM covers up bad news by Any Means Necessary, and to generate positive publicity. The BaekYeon thing backfired tremendously in that it gave hatred to artists instead of positivity but it sure as hell kept folks’ minds off the lawsuit for a bit. (Also there’s the whole strain of thinking corporations and business control and influence the media, which is something many of us can relate to and why this can appeal so strongly.)

I believe the fact that Yeri joined RV later and was going to be a permanent addition, and the only addition, only helped this theory. After all, apparently she was intended to be with the group from the start, but she was too young when RV debuted. This seems to imply that RV debuted sooner than they were supposed to. ~X files music plays in the background~

WINNER also got shafted pretty hard. They won the big reality idol-elimination show WIN: Who’s Next? hence the title WINNER (formerly Team A) and then YG highkey neglected them because  …well honestly YG wanted the Next Big Bang ™ and WINNER’s ballad style wasn’t going to do that–no matter how much Mino you throw in the song. Plus he demonstrated obvious favoritism to Mino, Bobby and B.I. in general and once WINNER highkey disappeared after they dropped their release (as rookies you are supposed to do follow up promotions the same year and within a decent time frame – EXO did not do this like they were supposed to, again because of Kris visa issue [hey that theory’s looking mighty Fresh again]) it became clear that YG wanted the next group out of the WIN cycle to get the spotlight–that group became iKon (formerly known as Team B). 

Lovelyz had an issue with one of their to-be-debuted members name Jisoo. Jisoo was accused of … well have you heard of the things the boy trainees under Produce 101 are being accused of ? If so, think along those lines. If not: suffice to say it involved manipulation, lesbianism and abuse within the relationship…. bad stuff to be accused of in South Korea lmao so the group was involved in scandal before even debuting! In the end, Jisoo did not debut on account that the allegations were being investigated and taken seriously–in addition to claims that she was ill due to the drama on the internet and within her live as a result of the accusations, and that she needed to recover.

I will end with those three examples of debut issues. Let’s go back to a group that debuted the same year as EXO: B.A.P. 2014 was the year B.A.P sued over “slave contracts” with TS Entertainment. According to the suit, since debuting in 2012, B.A.P had earned over 9 million dollars, yet the company had only given each member $16,000 on top of forcing members to perform to the point of hospitalization and fainting.

ZE:A, which debuted in 2010, also revealed issues with their company (shocking!!! at this point) and the group leader Junyoung (Lee Hoo) took to Twitter  to criticise his managing company’s, Star Empire’s CEO Shin Joo Hak for allegedly mistreating idol groups and their unfair contracts. He also alleged that CEO Shin Joo Hak both abused him and lost the company money. So there were accusations of financial and human capital abuses. He even posted income receipts on Twitter. You can read through (reliable!) translations of the events here: xx.

I want you to imagine hearing about all this shit throughout the year and thinking things are “over” and then just getting whacked whacked whacked whacked all about because you care about all these groups at the same time . J US T . :~)))))) I was fine : ^) everything : ^) was fine : ^) Nothing bad :~) was happening at all :~)

Oh and let’s add to this list, another thing that got negativity and didn’t deserve it: Super Junior’s Sungmin marrying Kim Sa-eun in 2014. ELF (SJ fandom name) were f u r i o u s at him for marrying so suddenly. ELF were trending #SungminOUT on Twitter because they wanted him kicked out of SJ for marrying. I was a pretty big SJ fan at the time so between everything !!! I WAS SCREAMING what the hell was wrong with people ???? Mad about a marriage ! They weren’t even mad at the lady (which doesn’t make it better), but purely the fact that he was getting married and didn’t give … idk some kind of prior notice? I knew he was enlisting soon after, but that wasn’t the source of the anger… anyway, other ELF counter-trended the #SungminOUT thing with a positive tag instead, and sent him lots of love, so it worked out…. but still many ELF were mad at him. If memory serves correctly, it was primarily K-ELF (korean SJ fans) who felt this sort of entitlement to him that led to the anger and it was …. yikes.

What else is there to say about that year? Of course people re-examined previous abuses by companies, including SM Entertainment’s maltreatment of DBSK, Hangeng of SJ (SJ’s former Chinese member who sued, won, and left the  group and the company due to mistreatment), disbandment of H.O.T., Shinhwa’s departure from SM, etc etc etc so you had layers of SM stan pain. SHINee and f(x) became known as SM’s only groups to not lose a member or disband … and then f(x) lost Sulli in 2015 … :| 

This is the most I remember or came to light when I looked up different issues I had thought of. If anyone wants to add to this list of catastrophe then please, go ahead. .-. I’m not even proofreading or else I’ll just get emotional for the umpteenth time. Hope this answers your (and 3 other folks’) question well! 

[papergirllife]

tag test

The way he smiled at her, the way their chemistry made fans of both fandoms cheer made you worry. It’s common for artists to have stages with each other, especially if they took on emceeing jobs or during award shows.

You weren’t angry, nor disappointed in any way. But the way they were smiling at each other made you nervous. You always had a very serious case of insecurity, it started ever since your ex started cheating on you, you hadn’t dare to leave the relationship, until you confronted him, then he left you permanently, only leaving a huge scar on your heart. You hadn’t known that the wound would reopen until today.

When it all became too much for you, when SM announced that he’ll consider taking on the role, you went to look for his co star’s account on instagram, and she’s so beautiful, Jaehyun is way out of your league, you knew this from the start. Yet she’s at the same level of beauty as he is, what if he finally sees that he made the wrong choice? And leaves you for her?

Then you found a short clip of a fan pointing out that Jaehyun panicked when he received a text from someone during his birthday live a few months back, you looked at it a hundred times to see a sunflower emoji saved as the contact’s name. But you were most definitely not the sunflower emoji. So who was it?

You could feel yourself panicking as you laid down on your shared bed with Jaehyun, has he shared this bed with anyone other than you? You try to bury your thoughts as you switched on some random movie on netflix, yet your heart wasn’t really into anything that’s happening on the screen.

“Y/N? Y/N?”

You woke up to the voice of Jaehyun calling for you, it was a Sunday, and he just got back from another inkigayo episode. You soon felt his arms wrapped around your tired body. You tensed up when he did so, flinching at his touch like fire being burnt on your skin.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

“I think I’m just feeling a bit cold from the constant rain, I’ll be fine, you can go get dinner with the boys, I want to sleep.”

“Oh, okay. Should I get you some medicine now?”

“There still some in the cupboard. I won’t be needing any.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.”

You successfully avoided his eyes, the eyes that make you want to give him the whole world if you could, the eyes that would send you into cloud nine, as well as a painful death over the cliff.

Once he left the door, you cried and cried even though you didn’t really know what you were crying for at this point, until you tired out yourself, slipping into slumber.

Jaehyun could sense something was wrong when he woke up to find that you had left his embrace, when he clearly remembered that he pulled you against himself as close as possible, and when your hugs were short and tensed. He finally decided to ask when the both of you sat down for lunch, when you finally came out of the room saying you had lots of work to do.

“Is something up, Y/N?”

“Nothing, why would you think so?”

“I feel like you’re a bit distant these days.”

“I’m just busy.”

You weren’t looking him in the eyes when you answered him, instead your eyes were trained on the plate of noodles in front of you, suddenly finding them very interesting.

“You’re avoiding me.”

“I’m not, Jae, it’s going to be month end, I just have lots to fix before passing it up to my boss.”

“Look at me then, look up Y/N, stop avoiding my eyes.”

When you did as he said, Jaehyun was shocked to see how tired and swollen your eyes were, and he had only seen you like this once, when you got out of your last relationship.

“Y/N, tell me what’s wrong, babe. Why have you been crying so much?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing.”

“I’m just insecure okay?!”

You hadn’t meant on lashing out at him, but your emotions had been running high these past few days. You could see the shock in Jaehyun’s eyes, the realisation that it was your doing, made tears leak at the corner of your eyes.

“I’m sorry, it has nothing to do with you, it’s just me”

Then you rushed into your bedroom, locking the door behind you.

Jaehyun was trying to decipher what you had said, were you back with your ex? Are you leaving him? Are you still conflicted on who to be with? Jaehyun laid down on the couch after clearing up the plates, not knowing what to do.

When you heard complete silence outside your bedroom, you sneaked out and laid a blanket on top of his sleeping figure.

That very night after having dinner with his members, Jaehyun tried his bedroom door once again, finding that it was unlocked. He went in to see your sleeping figure, so beautifully peaceful unlike earlier that day, what did he do to make you so distressed? What if your ex was looking for you again? Would you choose that trash over him?

Jaehyun sat next to your sleeping figure, his hand brushing away hair that was stuck onto your cheeks by your dried tears. When you woke up with such hurtful eyes, Jaehyun could feel his heart clench.

“Can I ask you something, Jae?”

Your voice was croaky from all the sleep, but you didn’t care, you needed to know now.

“Who’s the person you saved as a sunflower on your contacts that contacted you during one of your v lives when you were showing your phone to your fans?”

“What are you talking about? That’s the florist shop that I buy your flowers from, their shop’s logo is a sunflower and their name is very long, so I was lazy to type it out, and put the emoji instead. The reason I was worried was because they sent a text to confirm my order being sent to this address. You didn’t trust me?”

You looked up to see Jaehyun sporting hurtful eyes at what he was suspicious about, you let your gaze fall back down on your hands clasped upon your thighs, emitting a loud sigh.

“It’s not you that I don’t trust, I don’t trust myself.”

“What do you mean, Y/N?”

“What I mean is that I don’t have enough faith in my plain old looks and boring personality to keep you interested in me for forever.”

Jaehyun’s feelings went from being hurt, to being heartbroken, not for himself, but for you. The words you said had such heavy feelings that his broad shoulders sagged, he thought you were suspicious towards him, but it was self doubt. When did this start again? He thought he had brushed all your worries from your past relationship away, is he the source of all your insecurities now?

You got up and walked inside the connected bathroom, standing in front of the mirror to look at your own tear stricken face, too emotional drained to even bother putting in the effort to wipe them away.

You looked back at Jaehyun who sat hunched on the bed, his own tears crinkling at the corner of his own eyes. You didn’t know what are his feelings towards you are now. Anger? Disappointment?

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun.”

Your voice rang loud and clear as the echos bounced off the walls of the bathroom towards the bedroom, letting it ring into Jaehyun’s head a few times. He heard it loud and clear, shaking his head, not wanting you to apologise when you’re most clearly not in the wrong, but he couldn’t utter the words yet, a lump in his mouth as his head spins.

“I’m like a broken mirror, no matter how much effort you use to put the pieces back together, I’ll still be broken.”

You felt more tears escape your eyes as you said this, you knew the truth all along, but you still let yourself love another being, even when you knew how heavy your emotional baggage weighs.

When Jaehuyn heard what you had said, he made himself force down the rock in his mouth, you’re not broken, no one is allowed to say that, not even yourself. He walks to the bathroom, and pulls you into his embrace, out of the cold and empty toilet.

“A mirror will never be broken Y/N, they reflect the same thing at different but all very unique and beautiful angles, that’s how you see me, you’re the only one who sees each and every one of my sides but yet you choose to stay next to me.”

Jaehyun knew what he had to do to heal your aching heart when he first met you, he swore to himself that he’s never going to give up. He knew the weigh on his shoulders wouldn’t be an easy fit, but as long as he’s standing tall, there will always be a place for your head on his shoulders, right now, tomorrow, and many more days to come.

[shotosprincess]

When he loves me — Iwa ♡︎ Oikawa

LISTEN TO: “ CLOUD 9 “ — BEACH BUNNY

ART: UNKNOWN ( i found it as a sticker on picsart since i couldnt find any good iwaoi screencaps so if yk who the artist is plspls lmk !! ty !! )

｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

pairing: iwa x oikawa

summary: iwa shyly plays oikawa a song he wrote on a whim ,, and years later ,, after they fell apart ,, oikawa attends one of iwa’s concerts and hears their song,, the song,, once more .

genre: angst + fluff !! <3 ugh i love oikawa my bby but i absolutely love him and iwa together sm too ajjdjjf

a/n: 3am writing for comfort innit (•̀ᴗ•́)و smhsmh it’s lowkey so dramatic ?? idk why i was feeling so melancholic ?? but i live for the yearning anyways lmao <//3

“ Hey...wanna...hear something I’ve been working on? “

Iwa’s voice shifted to one of a far softer tone, unusually uncertain of himself as he gripped the bedsheets beneath him in an anxious hold, turning away from Oikawa whilst a deep vermillion blush tainted his shy-stricken face.

The hazel-haired setter lifted his mouth into a gentle smile, skin mirroring a similar red to Iwa’s. His head lolled to the side, and Iwa swore he felt something flutter within him. The fist which he clutched the bedsheets within closed even further.

“ Sure, Iwa-chan! “

A hard gulp. Iwa swallowed his nerves down, fingers hovering over the strings of his freshly-purchased guitar, hesitant. Trembling, even.

Light wisps of brown swept just over Oikawa’s eyes as he put down the volleyball he had been mindlessly spinning, and covered Iwa’s hands with his own. He looked up with a reassuring grin, deepened-honey gaze colliding with one of the enchanting midnight sky.

“ It’s okay. It’s just me. But of course, you don’t have to play if you don’t wan— “

Iwa swats his hand away. “ Of course I wanna, dumbass! “ He barked.

With a frustrated huff, his fingers find a home amongst the sound as they begin to delicately strum the translucent strings. His eyes fell closed, lost in the music, albeit fairly cliche, as he wordlessly played the song which was most special to him.

For what reason it held such a cherished place in his heart, he did not know. Not truly, at least. Admittedly, he had written it purely on a whim, clutching onto the fleeting remnants of a foreign euphoric high. The crazed rush of fingers furiously clacking against the keyboard filled the silence of his room, lasting well into the evening. He had so much to say, so much to express, and yet it was only through the words appearing on the screen in which he could ever hope to communicate it.

He had never even planned on sharing it. After all, it was merely a crappy, rushed song put together purely by the rawness of an unknown emotion, and during ungodly hours of the night out of all times. It was nothing special, really.

To him, at least.

And yet in a hushed, timid tone, he began to sing:

“ I don’t wanna seem the way I do...but I’m confident when I’m with you... “

Oikawa’s lips parted in sheer awe. The delicate swirls of the instrumental blended flawlessly into the angelic quality of Iwa’s singing. His muscles tensed. He shook it away.

What the hell is this? Was he...nervous? No, no, it can’t be. This is Oikawa-fucking-Tooru we’re talking about!

He could do nothing but stare intently in a silent adoration as he allowed his heartbeat to meld with the smoothness of the melody, sweeping him out of Iwa-chan’s bedroom and into a whole other universe entirely. One where there exists no pain, no sadness, no fear. One where tears dried before they could even splatter upon the ground. One where everything was happy and perfect and...good.

—

IWA

Five years have passed, yet I miss him all the same. If anything, the ache has only grown to, somehow, prove itself increasingly unbearable over the time we’ve spent apart. My stare falls upon my guitar. Not the new one, which is this modern, flashy model with a bold red design, but my first-ever guitar, boasting its worn-out strings and dulled body. The hole in my heart digs itself impossibly deeper.

We had dated not long after that night—the night I played my song to him, and suddenly it became our song. We would whip it out like a handy party trick whenever we’d hangout with the rest of the team, and it was...nice to say the very least. Well, while it lasted, of course. Highschool love, teenage love, is constantly fleeting. Temporary. That was my philosophy at least, until Oikawa Tooru appeared and changed everything. I disregarded every sense of rationality, and all for the blissful rush of romance which he offered. The sneaking out, the small notes snuck into each other’s lockers, the way he draped his jacket over me when I got cold, the tender kisses shared in a darkened room.

I loved it. All of it. And when I lost him, I missed him too. All of him.

I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised, though. After all, teenage love is but a transient feeling, is it not? I had to drill the reiteration of my old motto back into my head when we split, so that I may never allow myself to yield to the temptations of love, or at least the attractive promise of one, ever again. Eventually, we had to go our separate ways. He pursued volleyball, and I chased relentlessly after a different growing passion of mine, though honestly rather unexpected; music.

And now here I am. Sitting backstage at my own show, waiting patiently for my cue. My foot taps a random rhythm against the floor as I mentally debate with myself whether or not my choice for the opening song truly was the best option.

I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

He might be watching.

Fair, but would he even recognize me? Does he even remember me at all? I mean, it’s been so long...

I think he’d remember something as sentimental as the song you first played him. I mean, you were the first guy he ever dated.

Yeah, keyword: “ dated “. He’s probably moved on by now.

Shit, do you think he’s found someone new already? What if he brought them to the show?

Nah, nah. That’s highly unlikely. Impossible, even. The latter, that is. It’s not exactly that popular of a show.

Right, you’re right. So there’s nothing to worry about. Hakuna-fuckin-matata, right?

I suck in a sharp breath as the lights come on, laughing dryly.

Hakuna-fuckin-matata.

—

OIKAWA

My hands fiddle with one another as I push my way past the busy crowd to find a spot amongst the front row. A cheery girl with astonishingly-saturated red hair and an almoat-overwhelming brightness about her, greets me. I scoff, amused.

A fangirl, no doubt. Charming.

“ Oikawa! Ohmygoshohmygosh, Oikawa Tooru!! Hi!! I’m—I’m— “

I glance at the front row, which is only a few steps away, as her blubbered words start to blur together. I laugh.

“ A fan, right? Want my autograph or something? A picture, maybe? “

Her eyes light up vastly and she begins to bounce up and down with the same enthusiasm I’ve noticed to be common among practically all fangirls.

“ YES! Ohmygosh, yesyesyesYES!! “

My grin widens as I click my blue pen, which I carry around for autographs ( oh, the pains of being famous ), and hurriedly sign my name on her collared shirt. It was a fairly pretty garment, I’ll admit, but at this moment I didn’t really care, and I’m sure neither did she, judging by the way she squealed excitedly and took a spam of what had to be a million-and-one selfies with it.

I finally find a place among the jumping people at the front, taking in the atmosphere. The lights dim, and brighter white ones turn on in their place.

The show is about to start.

—

IWA

“ Hey, everyone. I— “ The mic whines with feedback. I wince, wrapping my free hand around it and trying again.

“ I’m—I’m opening with a song that’s very dear to me. I wrote it way back in highschool, but it’s always stuck with me, kinda like a safety net...of sorts. I uh, hope you enjoy. “

Shit, why am I being so damn awkward? I’ve never been this awkward before a show. Maybe it’s because of that damn opening song. Oh well. Too late to back out now.

Irritated, I push the thought away, wetting my lips as the drowning claps and whoops from the crowd cheer me on. My hand hovers just over the strings. It’s shaking. No matter. I close my eyes, and imagine him holding them. Him encompassing my hands within the warmth of his, just like he did all those years, which were now lost in the past. Him looking at me, him telling me it’s okay. Him.

I breathe all my nerves out.

Him.

And I begin to play.

The awkwardness melts away almost instantaneously as I pour every dripping ounce of my heart out into the song, the music swelling wildly with every emotion I had forced in for the dreariness of these five years. My eyes shoot open when the chorus hits. I feel like I’m king of the world.

I catch a familiar set of eyes. Richly brown. Deep.

Oh shit.

My breath hitches when I realize who they belong to; Him. His. He-

No, no, it couldn’t be. Could it?

It felt too real, as if I’ve somehow managed to reduce his very existence to nothing but romanticized self indulgent daydreams of what we once had, woven into the vast vagueness of song lyrics with a naïve hope of what could’ve been. And now here he was, at my concert of all places, for god knows what reason. The colourful lights fell upon his face in the most flattering manner, though admittedly I suppose anything would be flattering on him either way. But under this light especially, at my concert, he looked nothing short of perfect. Of lovely.

But of course he was. This was Oikawa-fucking-Tooru, after all.

The chorus hits with a sharp accent. I belt with all that I am, for the boy who took a rough sketch of a dream and made it reality, for the boy who found an unmatched sense of home among those of his highschool volleyball team, for the boy who wound up so foolishly falling in love with his best friend. For him, for my fans, but most of all, for me.

“ But when he loves me, I feel like I’m floating, when he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody— “

I maintain eye contact with him. It’s scary, burning holes into my tattered soul, which I had pieced together so carefully with cathartic lyrics scratched into the pages of creased notebooks. I’m secretly scared that his gaze will somehow break it all down again. But that’s when I finally understand; it’s him. This, this song, it’s about him. It’s always been about him. There will be no one else, could be no one else for me. That...sheer elation, the unfiltered emotion which sparked this song to begin with—I understood now. That was love. More specifically, love which my chest held for Oikawa. It’s as if I’ve been harshly disillusioned to see what I’d been unconsciously denying all these years, seeing him here. It’s always been Oikawa. How could I not have known? After all, I’m constantly recalling the day he held me in a tight embrace after one of our best matches, happy tears staining my damp jersey as he whispered in my ear the praise I’ve subconsciously always wished to hear.

“ You did good. “

Though it seems painfully mundane, simple to anyone else, it was...different, coming from his lips, hearing it in his voice. I took that compliment and kept it close to me for all eternity, immortalizing it within the varying notes of this song. I stare right back at him with a newfound fervour, an unknown intent, a epiphanic strength.

“ Even when we fade eventually to nothing, you will always be my favourite form of lovely. “

His eyes widen.

—

OIKAWA

My heart clenches as Iwa freely powers through the rest of the song. But during this moment, it feels as though it was created solely for us. As if the universe, as if fate itself had decided that despite the harshness of this world, and every little force fighting to keep us apart, this one moment, if anything, was ours. Truly ours. Our song, our moment. Ours. Time suspended itself indefinitely as the onyx hearth of his gaze finally met with mine. Unexpectedly enough, it stayed there.

And everything fell into place.

The song didn’t take me to a paradise without tears, or pain, or sorrow anymore. It took me to a place with Iwa in it. I realize now that...I want the tears. I want the pain. I want the grief. I want the good and the bad and the light and the dark, so long as I can have Iwa there with me through it all. I want him. All of him. I’ve want to love him enough to love his “ unglam “ moments and his admirable aspects all the same. I want to be there with him through every body-wrecking tear, every hearty laugh, and every glimmer of happiness. I want to be able to see the face he makes during a scary movie, to open an umbrella for him during the rain. I want to see the sunlight glow upon his cheek, I want to count the stars with him until I fall asleep. I want everything about him, for to me, he is everything. And it’s this song...this damned song which brought it all back.

It was ours. And I realize now...it was about...me. I mean, I’ll admit that I’ve always been a little more on the conceited side, but how could you deny it? It had to be. It had to. Had to. I wanted it to, at least. I wanted it to be about me so desperately, it sent a cold pain through my chest. A single, lonely tear falls down my cheek as the crowd around me erupts into a sea of laughter and off-tune singing from the audience.

What if it wasn’t? I mean, you guys broke up. You told him you moved on. Yes, it was a lie to lessen the pain, but he didn’t know that. What if it was about someone else completely and you’d just been an idiot this whole time? What if—

The concert comes to a close much faster than I thought it would, much faster than I would’ve ever wished for it to. I don’t know what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, but my legs move before I even have a chance to question them. I’ve always been one to think before acting, hence why I’m such a star on the court, but this time, my emotions seem to be taking over. I don’t know what’s come over me, what this unusual, hot feeling is. It’s exciting and intimidating all at once, and I hate it because I know what it must be. In a hot flash, I find myself standing at the door of Iwa’s changing room. How many bodyguards I must have recklessly shoved out of the way to get here in the blur of adrenaline, I don’t even want to begin to think about.

My hand freezes over the door. “ Iwa “ is engraved in bold gold letters with a deeply-etched star sticking out at the bottom. Taking a deep breath, I knock frantically.

“ I-Iwa-chan? It’s uh...it’s Oikawa. “

—

IWA

I pause in the midst of buttoning up my shirt. A solid three are left undone. But his voice...how could I ignore it? Ignore him? I haven’t heard his voice in what feels like eternity, but I’d be kidding myself if I had said I’d forgotten it. The constant yearning was always so irritating. Such a pain. At least it made for decent music, I mean, I’ve been booking shows. But alas, one problem before another.

“ O-Oikawa? “ I slowly pace to the doorknob as I twist it open.

Holy shit.

It is him after all. He hasn’t changed a bit. He remains the charming, handsome man I remember him to be, even after all this time has passed.

“ How’d you get—why are you here? “

“ Iwa, there’s...there’s just...there’s something I need to ask. “

“ Huh? “

“ That song...our song.... “

“ Shit, right! I, uh...sorry. I didn’t ask you about it because I honestly didn’t expect you to show up at all. It’s been what, five years? “ I stumble subtly over my words, rubbing the back of my neck.

He turns away sheepishly. Almost...longingly, even.

“ Yeah...it has. “

He clicks his tongue.

“ Who, uh...who was that song about? The curiosity’s been eating at me. “

A heat rises to my cheeks. A pause.

“ I—It—Ugh, fuck it. “

I’ve never been the best at talking directly to Oikawa, not since I realized that what I felt for him extended to something past the bounds of friendship. So I decided to do the only thing I knew to do in that moment—show him instead.

My lips crash against his as he slams the door behind him. The palpable tension between us is shattered immediately, and everything is faded out into insignificance. All that matters is the man in my arms, the man I’d been longing so desperately, so hopelessly for all this fucking time. I kiss him against the smoothness of the door, hands immediately trailing to his soft locks. I twirl and twine them as I see flashes, bright hues of heaven itself. His lips upon mine are the most perfect fit. His touch is painfully intoxicating, and I show him, wordlessly, with an unparalleled fervour—just who the song was about. He melts into it, matching my energy with a foreign sense of passion.

—

OIKAWA

“ Do you think...the universe is gonna try to separate us again? “ I ask softly, voice barely even a whisper. Tears wet my lashes at the very thought of being without him again. For those five years, though I was living my dream...it didn’t feel complete. Not without him. I blink them away aggressively, focusing on the night sky above us. My head is resting in his lap, and we’re simply...existing together beneath the curtain of darkened pools which hung above our twined bodies.

Iwa strokes my hair nonchalantly as he interlocks his fingers with mine. “ Of course. It always will. But we found each other didn’t we? And even after...even after this life has passed and we’re reduced to nothing but ash, I’m convinced we’ll meet again. One way or another. “

He tucks a straying tuft of hair from brushing my lashes.

“ Even then...even then you’ll still be my favourite form of lovely. Or whatever. “ He scoffs at his own over-poetic response, looking away with a tiny smirk.

“ Okay, Mr. Songwriter! “ I tease, nudging his side in a playful manner.

He rolls his eyes, bending down to kiss me once more.

For the first time in a long time, I feel complete. I’m on cloud 9.