#smartest raccoon i know

[trashpandacraft]

i couldn't figure out why the tension on the rigid heddle was so bad, nor why it seemed worse every time i pick it up.

i think i've cracked the case.

anyhow, my next big-loom project was going to be tea towels, but now i think it's going to be a cat hammock.

[disgruntled-lifeform]

hi! i just left some of this in chat, but thought i'd put it here in case it was helpful to have something a little less ephemeral.

first: YOUR LOOM, OMG. congratulations!!

second: leclerc has the warp and weave book posted free on their website. the website is Not Good, but towards the end of the page they have the download link.

third: as someone else who got a loom recently, this might be a time for video instruction. i'm usually a books-only person, but setting up the loom, specifically, was a lot easier to understand with a visual aid, so i spent a lot of time starting (and backing out of) youtube videos, etc. the most comprehensive option, in my opinion, is jane stafford's online school of weaving, because basically the whole first season is about how to get started weaving.

i have to admit that i don't love her as a teacher, but the first four episodes of season one are far and away the best intro to weaving i've found—and relevant to you, specifically, she uses a leclerc fanny for many of her demonstrations. if i remember right, the first section of episode eight is also looking at a fanny, specifically, and walking through its features and how it works.

i found her frustrating to watch, sometimes—the videos feel like having a skilled but scatterbrained teacher give a live class, but since it's not a live class, the repetition and circular explanations and digressions got really distracting for me. there's a week-long free trial, though, and i think that the really foundational videos (the first four) are about six hours in total, so it's not hard to get through them in the trial period, if you want.

Thank you! Truly, the smartest raccoon I know ^_^

(And I know a lot of raccoons)

[crankyfacedknitter]

Not me looking for a simple (but not solid-colored) band to edge a sewing project and, being unable to find one to suit, started looking up weaving options.

[yourgentlegirlfriend]

Soul tied

Hi my babies! New series i am writing and i hope you guys like it i’m super excited to see what you guys think!!

DISCLAIMER!! this is 18+ ONLY, please do not interact with my blog if you are underaged or don’t have age indicator in your bio!! thank you!!

Word count: 1,760

————————————————————————

New assignments were constantly draining. Your job was just draining.

Working for the government was never easy and being as young as you are in your field, your work was always downplayed.

Though you always stayed up late doing paperwork, your messy apartment constantly smelled of coffee. You were always waiting for a new assignment but they never gave you anything. You worked your ass off to prove you’re not just some rookie, years and years of training and physical torture but they refuse to send you anywhere.

You were called to Raccoon City during the aftermath, the mask clinging to your face as you glanced across the literal ash that used to be a big corporate ran city. Having to sign off and confirm death reports put you in the biggest depression of your life but you couldn’t argue, it was your job.

The so called victims of it all worked for separate agencies, having to sign off on their paperwork and confirm they were alive wasn’t easy. Jill Valentine went missing for a while, not by choice but she definitely was ridden by trauma and you couldn’t blame the woman. The second day you came by to check on her she had a note posted on the door

“Alive and well, thanks. -J.V”

And that was enough for you. The one person you couldn’t get a hold of.. Leon Kennedy. Calling everybody you could nobody knew where the boy was. You put the phone back down onto your desk, sighing as you looked at his paperwork, he looked young, with puppy dog eyes and scrapes all over. Where could he have run off to? When it was time to turn in everybody’s paperwork, you had put a bunch of them in separate files but of course, Leons was empty and your boss was not happy but what were you supposed to do? Your boss clicked at his pen a few times before he nodded and sighed

“Right.. he’s training”

He mumbled as he scribbled out Leon’s name on his paper, your eyebrows frowned as you laid the papers down. You may have been nosy but oh well, you cleared your throat, his eyes fixating up to you.

“Training for what?”

Your training took you almost four years. Directly out of high school and even getting into the program alone was another year. It made you feel like you were in the wrong profession. Your dad was a cop, your mom a teacher. So by birth you were set up for two jobs, either working for the police department under your fathers legacy or teaching and you were never the smartest in the family and your mom knew that.

When your parents found out you got a job in the government they were more than happy, how could they not be? They didn't know exact details such as you being employed for the DSO, or how you have seen bodies of things you can’t even describe. You were under oath, and you worked your ass off for them.

“Mission training.”

“What?”

You’re kidding.

“He’s new to the agency and he was already assigned a mission that’s not fair-“

“Are we done here? You don’t get to ask questions for now, you're just an assistant.”

The words that shouldn’t have hurt you as badly as they did. It didn’t matter though, maybe he was right.

All the paperwork you stayed up doing for Raccoon City, when you should’ve been sleeping. The heavy bags under your eyes, the tears, the stress and you thought it would never end, and it didn’t.

—————————————————————-

To many years later.

The sound of your air conditioner turning on made your head rise from your pillow. You don’t even remember falling asleep. Your apartment was a mess as it usually was, paperwork scattered all over your desk and your bed barely made.

A yawn leaves your lips as you stretch, rubbing your eyes. Your feet come up off the floor when your skin realizes just how cold the wood tiles are. The rain hits your window making your eyes fixated on the dark window. What time was it?

Your finger presses at your answering machine, 25 missed calls?

“Call me back, where are you?”

“Call me when you can”

“Fuck..”

You mumbled, grabbing your phone off your desk, quickly dialing your work office number. Being immediately transferred made your heart race faster, your boss’ sigh making you bite at your nails.

“You want an assignment so bad? I got one for you, but you can’t bitch to me about it in five months.”

Your eyebrows frowned as a slight smile tugged at your lips, an assignment for you? The line was silent for a few seconds before your voice filled the void.

“Anything.”

—————————————————————

Anything.

You wish you could go back in time and just go back to sleep.

Instead you stood in the doorway of your boss’ office, arms crossing as you stared at the back of the head of some dirty blonde man in a black long sleeve.

A scoff left your lips as you pulled out the chair beside him, sitting down next to the man. Who you have never met in person but god, did he have a reputation.

Leon Scott Kennedy.

The president's lap dog, who has gotten many more assignments than you have even if you’ve been here much longer than him.

Having to sign his reports from his mission in Spain. How the press praised him and his capability to save Ashley Graham. What a joke, as if he did it by himself. Ada Wong's mystery file always lays so perfectly on your desk. Though you did feel for Kennedy, the virus he contracted and what it did to him and his body. Ashley’s testimony made your heart ache because somebody as innocent as her didn’t need to see such things. She said Leon somehow fought his way through it, and so did she.

You didn’t even notice Leon’s gaze, his head tilted down slightly so he could look at your unamused expression. Seeming bitchy was the least of your intentions genuinely, your lips in a thin line as you blinked at your boss who of course had the biggest smile on his face.

“You wanted an assignment? I gave you one.”

His fingers pressed against the paper in front of you and Leon, sliding it closer to the two of you as you glanced down at the picture of Leon shortly after he came back from Spain.. Though healed, the thick black veins ran up his chest and neck.

Leon shifted uncomfortably, his neck cranking to the side. You know so much about the man and you’ve never heard him speak.

“What does this have to do with anything”

His voice was.. gravely almost. Guilt dipping in your chest due to the fact that you had judged him so deeply.

“A group knows information regarding the virus. A group in New York. Kennedy and you will be escorted. We want information.”

Thankfully Leon was as confused as you were, your eyes finally meeting. He looked exhausted, the bags under his eyes barely hiding the fact that his hair was messy. He was probably so done with all of this.. your head started to fill with thoughts of his Raccoon City file. Your boss words we’re being blurred by your thoughts, your vision coming back into focus.

“Husband and wife”

“What?”

The words leave your lips in a laugh almost, your eyes darting back up to your boss as you scoffed.

“Sorry, I didn’t go through years of training to play house.”

Maybe this was your sign that you weren’t ready for a mission, a commitment so big, your eyes looking down into your lap as he went over the details. A ringing in your ears as you swallowed the lump in your throat, maybe Leon was just more capable. He was stronger, smarter, he obviously had more experience.

The door slamming behind you made you flinch, your attention back to the paperwork in front of you. The sound of Leon scribbling away on the paper filling the room as your shaking hand reached for a pen on the desk.

—————————————————————-

“Here.”

Your head was turned away from the man, staring out the plane window as he sat across from you. The two of you barely spoke, the car ride here and everything. Your eyes ran over his frame before you saw the ring in his hand. The whole situation made you uncomfortable, you’ve never met Leon and now you had to pretend to be his wife. You leaned forward grabbing the ring before slipping it in your finger, your legs crossing again as your eyes shot down to his left hand to see the silver band on his finger as well.

So you were really doing this? Your mission was simple. Get the sample. The facility you’re being transferred to was under the impression that you and Leon were ex umbrella scientists. The two of you have been married since you were twenty. The plan has to be flawed, you had no chemistry.

It would be a lie to say he wasn’t handsome though. It honestly left you shocked that he had grown so much from Raccoon city, it’s like he had a second puberty almost. He must’ve seen you staring, his head turning to you causing you to look down at the ring on your finger, nervously fiddling with it as Leon cleared his throat.

“Don’t be nervous, people can tell when another person is scared.”

Leon spoke as you let your shoulders loosen, cracking your knuckles as the soft chiming of the plane getting ready to land rang through your ears. You two did look expensive, Leon dressed in a black suit, his hands pushing forward a bit so he can adjust the cuffs on his wrist as he stood up from his seat. His hand extends out to you, his jaw tightening as the sigh leaves your lips and you stand holding at his arm. You both made sure your rings were on display, your fingers carefully holding at his upper arm as the two of you stood in front of the opening door.

This was going to be more than difficult. Especially with Kennedy.

[letters2won]

GOOD 4 U!

03; Bewitched

Your legs bounces up and down as the realization hits you.

You’re not a regretful person. You don’t regret accidentally taking a raccoon home instead of your beloved dog or how you showed a Jacob Elordi edit in front of your English class when you meant to present your presentation on “The Outsiders”.

But fake dating? not your smartest idea…

You have to be crazy for suggesting it. You have to be even crazier to agree to it. But what do you expect from a down bad admirer and a girl who wishes to move on?

The adored cat-like boy sitting across from you, felt his hands get sweaty. He knows you’re here to lay out some ground rules, but this was basically a date in his eyes!

You two sat in awkward silence, unsure on how to start the conversation. “Can’t believe your ex hates my guts… I'm just a silly little guy!” he joked out and you let a giggle slip out.

After that small joke he made, you guys were able to relax and have a smooth conversation. Jungwon even managed to started a debate on how cats were better than dogs.

“You’re literally betraying your own dog right now!” you said through fits of giggles. He was laughing alongside you as he ate the shared cake you guys got.

Soon after you two were full off of sweets and had calmed down, deciding it was best to start the rules as you see the sun setting.

“How should we go about this..?” he began, trying to hide his excitement.

You pondered for a minute before responding, “Rule number one! Don’t fall in love!”

Jungwon's smile falters a little before he proceeds to roll his eyes, “Seriously? Am I not your type?” he teased.

“Maybe if you were Choso..” you seriously considered and he glared at you.

“Of course you’re a Jujutsu Kaisen fan.. it all makes sense now.”

“HEY?!”

You huffed and then continued, “Oh another one! Rule number two, we hold hands and give each cheek kisses to make it believable!”

Jungwon's eyes widened. He only ever imagined giving you small pecks of kisses, he can’t believe his manifestations are coming true right now. You on the other hand can’t believe you really came up with that. Feeling embarrassed, you moved on rather quickly.

“Oh! I got one! Rule number three, only our close friends will know the truth.”

“Do we have to let them in on our plans..” he mumbled.

“Well yea! I suck at lying, I even got a whole medal at home for being the worst liar in school!” which you stated a little too proudly. He should’ve questioned that but he didn’t, instead he gave you a love sick smile and sighed dreamily, “You’re so talented…”

“Rule number four, We go on dates every friday or saturday!”

Jungwon added on, “We should also always go to each events..” and you weighed the pros and cons of that. For a second, you almost forgot that this was your student council president that was going along with everything that you were saying.

He plays such an important role for the school yet here you are dragging him into your little petty revenge plan on your ex without an incentive.

“Jungwon, what do you want to benefit from this? I feel kind of selfish for only thinking about my side of the plan..”

He let out a hum before giving you his famous dimpled smile which has you bewitched. “I want to spend more time with you in all of this.”

There it is again, that funny feeling. Something about Jungwon is making your heart do somersaults and cartwheels. You’re still confused about what's happening and tried to push it aside. You never felt like this with your ex so why now?

You cleared your throat after realizing you were staring at him with a dumbfounded look for a good moment, “O-oh okay! Easy peasy!”

He let out a breathy laugh as you tried acting nonchalant, shifting in your seat feeling your face get hot. “Moving on! For the last rule…hm.” You two started thinking hard, almost felt like your thinking caps were going to explode any second now.

You gasped and gave him a wide smile, “ Rule number five, every Thursday you watch the new Jujutsu Kaisen episode with me.” He gave you a deadpanned look.

“I’m not watching Jujutsu Kaisen with you.”

“Please! None of my friends wants to watch or hear my thoughts and since you’re my soon to be boyfriend you have to tune in to my rant sessions about them!” you rambled on, giving him those expecting wide eyes.

Jungwon was gone. He had officially lost it. Soon to be boyfriend? Yeah, he’s agreeing with everything you're saying from now on.

“I’ll do anything you ask me from now on queen!”

Oh boy… he is down bad.

PREV ✩ MASTERLIST ✩ NEXT

╰┈➤ this feels kind of rushed… i hope you guys enjoyed </3

SYNOPSIS in which you’re DEFINITELY not upset that your ex moved on really easily (spoiler alert: you are!). Yang Jungwon, the student council president is glad your ex moved on because it’s time for him to shoot his shot (just not in the way he wanted.. a win is a win in his book!)

TAGLIST < open > @firstclassjaylee @sincerelyrki @w0nslvr @poollabug @mrchweeee @nanuer @jwonistic @nyfwyeonjun @jiamini

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Okay, I haven’t been here in about a year and a half but I do remember that you like Transformers so I’m going to dump this idea here.

Okay, do you know what would be either angsty or crackish? Is it Optimus was a spaekeater. NOT turned into one but like had always been one.

Don’t remember who but someone had the brilliant idea that a sparkeater ate Orions spark but due to unavoidable fate had to get become Optimus instead. (Now that I think about that it’s kind of angsty)

Like that except it was a total accident. Sparkeater that wasn’t supposed to touch the shiny but it looked so delicious. Like telling a cat no. Well too bad, that shiny has the literal wisdom of the primes before it. Now you have to consider the ethics of eating prey or consider how vegetarianism works when your only source of food is literally the life source of other beings. It’s too much for a literal baby eldritch horror from the deepest pits of nightmares incarnate.

Minor hc : Not to mention how Sparkeaters only feel like people (have a cybertronian EM field) when they’re digesting sparks so the more sparks they have the more it’s like being in a crowded room with only one figure there.

Like everybody knows something is up with Optimus but think it’s only the otherworldly energy signature the Matrix has.

But my favorite love is cultural differences, so like maybe Sparkeaters go off a strength system so the strongest/smartest one gets the most sparks so has the most power. So the whole concept of a government or actual responsibility beyond child rearing is a completely foreign idea. Baby Bumblebee is his only comfort in this world, and his value only increases from cute pet to my only child, most beloved by all.

No idea how to work Optimus’s relationship with Megatron beyond weird misunderstandings. Like on one hand, every bot understands Megatrons and his stance against the council-backed Autobots. Meanwhile Sparkeater is like ‘oh, he give me the head of that annoying spark-prey-politician? is this friendship-court or mate-courting? Next time meet the greenspark-digger-leader will give friendly bite’ and like nearly chomps his hand off.

This reminds me of those alien has to live amongst humans and cannot give away alienness lest unimaginable torture are inflicted! Except it’s more like two raccoons (Sparkeater and Matrix) in a trench coat trying to save Cybertron as they know it. Which is not very well as one literally lives in the gutter and the other is some overly pretentious temple or something.

The analogy you gave off two raccoons in a trench coat made me cackle like a madwoman. I like this AU, it's fun and interesting with a lot of potential for angst.

[sarahsmi13s]

Bring Her Home, Bradshaw : Prologue

Welcome to Raccoon City, Rookie

pairing: bradley bradshaw x mitchell!reader (not touched on here)

characters: bradley n. bradshaw, jake seresin, sherry birkin, unamed zombies and misc characters

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, cannon gore and violence, descriptions of being eaten, descriptions of the undead, being taken by the military, guns, injuries, lmk if i missed any

word count: ~1.5k (i know it’s weird, but it’s just the prologue to get you excited 🤩)

a/n: this story is based off the games with bradley as leon kennedy, so the dialogue and scenes are inspired by the game play. bradley’s inner monologue however is from my brain

summary: rookie cop bradley bradshaw is late, and hungover, for his first day at his new post in Raccoon City. but maybe that’s what saves his life.

‘bring her home, bradshaw’ universe

***********************

September 29, 1998

Bradley rubbed his face, feeling the effects of his hangover as he stopped at a gas station.

He was already late for his first shift as a Raccoon City Police Officer, so stopping for gas was probably a bad idea. But he had also gotten a call a week before telling him not to come in, so they most likely weren’t expecting him. And the station was right outside the city.

As he pumped his gas, he took note of his surroundings.

The station looks practically deserted.

“No one’s around…” He hummed, clocking the ‘OPEN’ sign on the door. “That’s weird.”

As he watched the door, noticing that the lights inside were also off, he heard a noise come from inside. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion and took the gas nozzle out and put it away.

He walked around the front of the car and saw a trail of bloody footprints and puddles of blood leading towards the door. The churning of his gut to him to follow them.

It’s probably not the smartest decision Bradley could have made, but it was the one he chose. He became a police officer to help people, but he didn’t need a uniform to do that.

He looked through the fogged glass before opening the door and going inside.

“Hello? Anyone there?” He looked down and saw a flashlight that was turned on. He picked it up and scanned the shelves and the floor.

He had this itch in his throat and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up as his spine felt rigid. “Something’s not right…” He mumbled to himself, standing up and moving to inspect another aisle.

There was more blood on the tile and he had to swallow the nerves, but he couldn’t stop the cold sweat from running down his back. “C’mon Bradshaw, you trained for this,” he thought to himself as he shined the flashlight behind the counter.

His ears picked up on a small, breathy groan and he turned toward it.

He moved towards the coolers and turned to his right.

Against the wall next to a door that leads to behind the coolers, was a man holding his neck and sitting in a pool of blood, but he was breathing. Bradley took in what he was wearing and concluded the man was an employee.

He jogged over, “Are you okay?” The man only pointed toward the back room with a hand that shook violently with adrenaline. Bradley nodded, “Okay. Don’t move.. I’ll be back for you.”

Bradley took a deep breath and walked in.

The chill hit him immediately, causing him to involuntarily shiver. He walked in a little further and heard the heavy door behind him slam shut. “Shit,” he grumbled.

His attention was drawn away from that by what sounded like a struggle.

He approached the slightly opened door and pushed it open, flashing his light on the two figures.

One of them was an officer.

Bradley immediately offered his assistance, “Officer, you need help?” The officer held out his hand, “Stay back, sir, I’ve got this.”

Since he was distracted, the other person, if you could even call it that, tackled the officer to the ground.

“Hey! Hey! Get off him, right now!” Bradley tried.

But to his horror, the assailant instead bit down on the officer’s neck and pulled up. The tendons and muscles stretched before snapping under the tension. Bradley watched blood pour out of the man’s neck for a terrified moment before panning up to see the assailant, still with the piece of flesh in his mouth.

Bradley was frozen in shock as he took in the gray, leathery flesh that had begun to rot away and the blood dripping down its chin. Its lifeless, pale eyes reflected the light and burned themselves into Bradley’s memory, surely to haunt him for the rest of his life.

The creature stood up and kicked Bradley into gear.

He pulled his gun from his waistband and pointed it at the, what was once, a man, “Freeze! I’ll shoot!” ‘Like that’s gonna fuckin’ work. Shoot it now!’ He rationalized before shooting the zombie in the face.

It took three shots to get him to go down.

Bradley had to get out of there. He ran to the other door only to find it locked and he needed a key.

He turned and went to find it. He stepped over the two dead bodies and went down the little aisle that was beside them.

Afraid the creature might get back up, he kept his gun at the ready as he searched the shelves for the key. He found it on a key hook by the desk at the end of the row.

He turned back, on a mission to get the hell out of there as he tried to get back to the door as quickly as possible.

When he got back to the corpses, the one he shot was getting up.

“This can’t be happening,” he said before shooting at it again. He couldn’t waste his ammo, but he had to try and kill this thing.

When it fell over again he ran past it, but he felt it grab at his pant leg. “I’ve gotta get the fuck out of here.” He took the key out of his pocket and shoved it in the lock, turning it and pushing the door open.

His ears were immediately bombarded by loud groans and growls.

He moved his light around, catching the worker he saw earlier now standing. But he could tell that they were far from okay. Next to him, a zombie crawled toward him. As it began to stand, he shot it before turning to the other in front of him and shooting it as well.

The way out on Bradley’s left was blocked so he ran around the shelves, nearly getting hit by a falling rack.

When he got near the door it swung open, revealing a blond guy. “Don’t shoot!” He said, hands up with his eyes wide.

But Bradley was focused on the zombies behind him, “Get down!” The guy ducked and Bradley shot the creature in the face, blowing a chunk out of his jaw. Bradley stepped around the blond man and cleared the area.

The guy stood up and Bradley glanced at him. “You alright?” The guy looked around, “Yeah, I think so… thanks.” “You can thank me later, when we’re safe.”

Both looked at the approaching zombies. “Holy shit…” They had guns trained on them. Behind them, one slammed against the door’s glass.

Bradley saw the running squad car and gestured toward it, “Come on!” They ran to it, dodging zombies, “Get in!” They jumped in and he put it in gear, “Hold on!”

He peeled out of there and down the highway towards Raccoon City.

Now they had a chance to breathe.

The guy turned to him, “What the hell was that!?” Bradley sighed, “I don’t know. Hopefully they’ll have some answers for us down at the police station.”

“Wait, you're a cop?” He nodded, “Yeah, Bradley Bradshaw. You are…?” “Jake – Jake Seresin,” he introduced, glancing out the window.

“You live around here?” Bradley asked, eyes staying on the road. “No, not anymore. I’m looking for my brother. He’s a cop too,” Jake said. “Well, good thing we found each other.” Bradley shook his head, “I don’t know what to expect anymore…”

This was the start to the night that would change Bradley’s life forever.

****

The sun practically blinded Bradley, Jake, and Sherry as they walked out of the tunnel.

“So, what now?” Bradley asked Jake as they watched Sherry skip in front of them. Jake shrugged, “I don’t know. Look for Chris, I guess. I found a note in the station and saw that he was somewhere in Europe. I’ll probably start there.”

Bradley nodded and took a deep inhale of the fresh air.

“What about you? What’s your plan?” Jake asked, glancing at him. Bradley shrugged, “I don’t know. I still wanna be a cop. But someone’s gotta look after the kid.” Jake nodded and pointed to Bradley’s bandaged shoulder, “First thing you might want to do is get that check out.” Bradley chuckled, “Yeah, those herbs only did so much.”

Eventually, Jake had to go off on his own.

“Hopefully this isn’t it, Officer Bradshaw,” Jake stuck his hand out. Bradley shook it, “Don’t be a stranger, Jake. I hope you find your brother. Call me if you need anything.”

Jake squatted down, “I gotta go, Sher.” “You gotta find your brother. But don’t forget about me okay?” “Forget you? I don’t think I could ever forget you, Sherry Birkin.” They shared a quick hug before Jake went off on his own.

Bradley grabbed Sherry’s hand and they began walking. “So are you like my dad now?” His eyes widened a little, “Uh, well-” He looked down at her, “I’m more like you’re older brother.” Sherry hummed and skipped, “I’ve always wanted an older brother.” “Now you got one.”

The little girl looked up at him, “Can we get a dog?” Bradley laughed, “We’ll see. I have to get used to having you around first.”

They walked for a little longer before they were suddenly surrounded by black military vehicles and choppers.

Bradley pushed Sherry behind him, “What the hell?”

“Bradley Bradshaw, this is the United States Military! You and the girl need to come with us!”

***********************

i hope this prologue got you excited for the series! i just wanted to dip into how bradley got to where he is in the main story!

please don’t hesitate to get in my inbox and ask questions if you have them! or if you just want to talk!

if you would like to be tagged lmk in the comment or you can go to the masterlist (here) and reblog or comment!

i will tag my most recent top gun taglist, but if you don’t want to be tagged just send me a private message and i can take you off!

top gun tags <333: @milesdickpic​ @roosterscockpit​ @luckyladycreator2​ @hotch-meeeeeuppppp​ @sebsxphia​  @nobody7102​ @djs8891​ @mayhemmanaged​ @desert-fern​ @startrekfangirl2233​ @horseshoegirl​ @bobby-r2d2-floyd​ @roosters-girl​  @cassiemitchell​ @lovinglyeternal​​ @lovingbradshawafterdark​​ 

love you babes <33

[tohisprettyc00l]

Hello! I never did this, but can I get a romantic/platonic match up with a toh character?

-I am 15 years old.

-I'm bisexual. (More leaned towards boys. Its like 65% boys and 45% girls.)

-I am a November Sagittarius.

-My MBTI is ENFP 7w6.

-If I play D&D I'm always a bard,no question asked.

-Being someone with an ADHD is very interesting (thats me,hi).

- I'd say I'm hardworking and determined,but I have a low motivation.

- Sometimes I feel like I don't have any self-esteem at all (being always the weird kid has its effect for the long run.)

- I feel that I am sometimes the smartest person in the room and the dumbest the same time.

- I love memes,dank memes and overly people say I am a fun person to be around.

- Being the oldest daughter I love to care about people who deserves it.

- I love listening to peoples dreams/what they want from life or just rambling about anything.

- My hobbies are listening some music (any kind really), writing fanfictions,reading and drawing.

- I love dogs,cats,raccoons,reptiles, bees really anything. Even spiders. Just don't jump on be.

- I am easily scared by loud voice or jumpscares. I hate horrors :c

So thats it💛

And thank you for ur work.

(And sorry about my grammar,english isn't my first language)

I romanticly match you with: Luz Noceda!

-Luz loves D&D and no one can convince me otherwise. She would 100% play with you if you wanted.

-Fun fact: she also had ADHD! (like canonically) So she can relate to you when it comes to that.

-She literally moved dimensions because she was seen as "Weird" and that definitely contributed to her season 3 self-esteem issues. So with that being said she can be and is a great help with boosting your confidence.

-You'll wake up to like 50 texts from her and they're all memes.

-She may not be the oldest (Vee's a year older) but when she cares it is clear. She goes all out showing her affection.

-Bro if you are okay with listening to rambling get ready to know every detail about The Good Witch Azura. You'll know just as much if not more than people who have read the whole series.

-Girl loves writing fanfic and reading it! If you're in the same fandom as her and you post your fanfic she'll happily be your beta reader.

-If you think you like animals like spiders or things people don't usually like you've seen nothing yet. The weirder the animal the more Luz likes it.

I platonically match you with: Vee noceda!

-She would love to play dnd with you.

-Yeah Vee can relate to the motivation thing :/. So I mean y'all can talk to each other about it.

-Vee loves memes tbh. But she doesn't really understand any of them.

-Vee doesn't really think about her future. Mainly because it gets overwhelming for her because she isn't used to a 'normal' life. But being able to talk about to someone even if it is a one-way conversation.

-She cares for animals a lot, she finds them very neat.

-Vee likes spooky stuff but in a more fun way. But if you don't like that either she's fine not looking at spooky stuff when you are around.

I hope you like it!

[trashpandacraft]

the littlest and most trustworthy guy being my buddy while i worked on some socks last night. literally stayed like this for hours, despite being used as a table for yarn and needles.

[space-cat-in-a-teacup]

I am once again having trouble writing proper prose, so now it’s time for me to explain the Detective Lucy AU.

Also known as the “Poe gets defeated so badly he fucks off to Canada, accidentally adopts 13-year-old girl who uses the power of spite to yoink him back to detective work (and also both learn a thing or two about found family along the way)” AU 

(Elaboration is under the cut for your convenience)

Much like in canon, Edgar Allan Poe loses to Edogawa Ranpo is a detective-off. Thing. Whatever that was. Unlike in canon, Edgar Allan Poe’s response to this loss is to panic and run away from everyone and everything he knows.

And it’s not until he’s standing in front of his freshly-bought house in Canada that he realizes oh, maybe this wasn’t the smartest idea.

This is further cemented when Poe’s cunning plan to escape the world is thwarted, however, when a young girl who heard about a detective moving in near her town finds him. And will not stop pestering him. And visiting his house. And asking him questions.

This young girl is Lucy Maud Montgomery, who is trying to not be in her orphanage any time she can, and although Poe is very confused and not entirely welcoming, it’s admittedly the closest thing either of them have to a positive social life so they work it out.

At some point, however, there’s a mystery in the nearby town. Lucy, knowing Poe is a detective, tries to get him on the case- though he’s hesitant, still feeling pained from his loss at Ranpo’s hands, he eventually decides to take it on. Lucy follows after him, less because he wants her to and more because he couldn’t stop her if he tried. (And admittedly, she does have more knowledge about the town and people than he does, so maybe she can help out.)

After a novel-worthy adventure, the mystery is solved by Poe and Lucy. Poe is revitalized in his love for detective work, Lucy has just had the most thrilling experience of her life, and the two have discovered they actually work really well together. (And perhaps even realize that their abilities are also incredibly similar.)

Emotional attachment abound, and Lucy sold to the mystery-solving lifestyle, Poe ends up formally adopting Lucy from her orphanage and taking her in, vowing to train her as his apprentice to become one of the greatest detectives of all time- and so they, together, can surpass everyone who comes across their path.

Of course, some things still remain the same in this alternate universe. Poe still vows vengeance on Ranpo Edogawa (Lucy helping to proofread his work as both a help to him and practice for her), a raccoon named Karl still ends up in Poe’s life, and the Guild does end up scouting them out later on down the line, meaning they do still serve as an antagonistic force to the Armed Detective Agency in their first introductions.

But through trials and tribulations, one thing is certain: Poe and Lucy make a fantastic detective duo, and if anyone hurts one of them, they will incur the other’s wrath.

[razieltwelve]

Fresh Start (Final Rose)

Diana stood atop the house with the rising sun casting a dramatic backdrop behind her. Strangles was curled around her neck like a scarf, and her loyal animals minions were perched on the roof alongside her too. She gazed into the distance in truly epic fashion, her spiky hair tousled by a wind that had been strategically provided by a portable fan.

“Today is the beginning of another year,” Diana said.

There were hisses and other various sounds of agreement. A pair of geese even took wing and lifted a banner proclaiming the arrival of another year.

“That means a fresh start for everyone.”

There were more sounds of agreement. Some raccoons waved flags to celebrate.

“This year is going to be different.” Diana shook her fist at the sky. “This year, I’ve decided! No more being the youngest sibling! Starting from today, I’m the oldest! No more eating vegetables either! From today, it’s nothing but pizza and candy! And no more being the shortest! Going forwards, I will now be the tallest!”

Fang, Lightning, Averia, and Taren all stared up at Diana. Taren giggled, the baby boy evidently finding all of the cheering from the animal minions to be quite amusing. The other three, however, had a decidedly different reaction.

“She knows that’s not how it works, right?” Averia asked.

“Averia, your sister is either the smartest person on this planet or the second smartest.” Fang grinned. “That doesn’t stop her from being an idiot sometimes, though.”

“Come on,” Lightning said. “Let’s go back inside.” Her lips twitched. “I’ll add some vegetables to her breakfast.”

X     X     X

“Snow... is Diana on the roof again?” Serah asked, yawning.

“It’s fine. You can go back to sleep. She’s just shaking her fist at the sky.”

“Ah. Right.” Serah reached out with her Aura to check on the twins. The two were still sleeping soundly. Dust, she and Snow were lucky. Claire had been an exceptionally easy baby to take care of, the twins were the same. They hardly ever woke up during the night, and they even seemed to established a schedule for when they needed their nappies changed. It was incredible.

X     X     X

Diana watched as her family went back inside. No doubt, they had retreated to take shelter from over-exposure to her pure awesomeness. Heh. The door next door opened, and Sephiroth emerged with Mako.

“Happy New Year!” Diana cried.

Sephiroth blinked owlishly and then turned to look up at her. “Are you threatening the sky again?”

“No. I’m making New Year’s resolutions.” Diana shook her fist at the sky. “It just looks like I’m threatening the sky.” She paused as Mako sent a curious and hopeful look her way. “Has Mako ever been up on your roof? I think he’d enjoy it.”

“Is that so?” Sephiroth picked up Mako and leapt onto his roof. “Hmm... the neighbourhood does look different up here. What do you think, Mako?”

The tortoise made a contented sound and then shook one leg at the sky. This year would be the year of the tortoise! All hail Supreme Dark Emperor Mako!

Diana smiled sunnily. It was nice for a tortoise to have aspiration! She was about to go back inside when she caught sight of some other people on another roof.

Heh.

It was her Aunt Vanille and her family.

X     X     X

“Why are we up on the roof again?” Lumina drawled.

“Because it’s tradition.” Vanille nodded sagely. “Look out on this neighbourhood, kids. One day, it will be yours.”

Raine, Petra, and Natalie all nodded with equal sagacity.

“You might be wondering how it could possibly be yours when Diana runs the place, but  you’re forgetting something very important: the bonds of minion-hood. Diana is my minion, and you are her minions. When gets older, she’s going to have to delegate rulership of the neighbourhood to someone else. That’s where you come in.”

“Did we have to bring Fraise up here too?” Lumina asked. The baby girl was watching everything silently. She’d always been a quiet baby, but her eyes were keen and missed nothing whatsoever.

“Well, I plan on taking her up to the top of the Father, the same way we did the other kids, but for the time being...” Vanille gently took Fraise from Lumina and held her high. “Behold, humble neighbourhood! This is Fraise Dia-Farron, my fourth-born daughter! Witness her awesomeness and despair, for you shall never reach it!”

X     X     X

Diana watched as her Aunt Vanille held Fraise high into the air and praised her before the whole neighbourhood.

That was how to do things right.

Sephiroth must have thought the same because he too raised Mako high above his head. The tortoise nodded in satisfaction.

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Happy New Year!

The Father is the tallest mountain in the Yun Mountain Range, and the tallest mountain on Remnant. It is roughly ten miles tall. It is said that the Honoured Dead can hear and see what happens on its peak. Hence, Fang has made a habit of bring the kids up there to ‘introduce’ them to everybody. Vanille has done the same.

In his younger days, Sephiroth wouldn’t have engaged in this sort of silliness. He’s now old enough that he finds it amusing, especially since Mako seems to enjoy it. You can bet that Jihl is staring out her window wondering what on Remnant is going on while her kids ask if they can get on top of their roof.

Spoiler Alert: Diana did not end up becoming the oldest, nor did she avoid vegetables. And she certainly didn’t become the tallest.

Note: Please, don’t climb onto your roof unless you actually know what you’re doing. Unlike Diana, you won’t be able to laugh it off if you take a tumble.

[stellahaze135]

Happy Pride y’all!

Have some more Resi poly goodness in honor of the occasion from your friendly neighborhood gender-fluid aromantic asexual (non sex repulsed) who’s few turn ons happen to be severely damaged superpowered badasses with voices silk n sin.

Before arriving in Raccoon, Shade had spent some time in Arkham Asylum for being mutant while mentally ill, being diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder while possessing the power of control over the darkness/shadows. So she was already unhinged a wee bit when she got the job in the tech dept. of RPD (in later years she would look back and think in retrospect that maybe getting a job in a police department when having just technically escaped from an a asylum after a massive earthquake may haven’t have been her smartest of moments ok?) and working directly with the STARS division. More specifically the Alpha team.

During her years (I’m thinking at least three maybe four years.) in Raccoon she’s always looking over her shoulder, fearing that Dr. Hugo Strange was still out there looking to bring her back, he was fascinated with the odd connection between her psychosis and her powers. However, Shade vowed when she broke free that she would never be anyone’s unwitting experiment ever again. That’s why even after learning of Wesker’s true motives and even after they started hooking up she never divulged that bit of herself to him.

Oh he knew she used to be in a psychiatric hospital, he noticed her meds on her bedside table one night laying in her bed post coital. That and after one night when a highly dangerous prisoner managed to slip loose in the police department and try to attack Shade. That was when Wesker became infatuated with her. Her pure unhinged rage as she defended off her attack awoke something in him. Oh he could work with that. He reckoned he could temper that rage to his advantage quite nicely. Because of this moment and after saving her from Strange’s clutches is when they move in together.

She had come busting through his office door late one night at RPD, she was frantic, and obviously terrified. Diving underneath his desk between his knees, silently screaming that to cover her, that she wasn’t there, and that he hadn’t seen her. That she WAS NOT going back to that hell hole.

Moments later two shadows are at the doorway to Wesker’s office. Dr Hugo Strange and Professor Jonathan Crane, sans the Scarecrow mask, but hiding that sick Freddy Krueger lookin fear toxin injecting glove behind his back, the one he had in the Arkham game series.

And honestly how much anyone wants to bet that if DC (specifically the Gotham Rogues) were connected to Capcom and Resi then Umbrella would’ve SO tried to outsource work from Gotham. Like there are too many psychos whose work lines up waaaay too well with Spencer’s agendas. Like that plant room in Resi 1? You cannot tell me that Ivy wouldn’t have worked on that shit, and if that’s the case I wanna see the working interactions between her n Weskie! Oh it’d be so bitchy and catty and hilarious! But like also Crane and Tetch’s work kinda goes along with Umbrellas MO too!

Anyways! Wesker and Strange never got along. Honestly they’re personalities are very similar, just Wesker doesn’t give off major creep vibes like Strange. Weskie gives off only daddy vibes, feel? So the heads are butting already, Hugo’s asking where Shade is, that she’s an escaped inmate *ahem* patient, and should be returned to treatment post haste lest she snap.

Albert ain’t havin absolutely none of that bullshit. He points out that A.) she was on HIS team therefore HIS keeping. If Strange was implying that Albert couldn’t handle the reigns on his people then Strange was more of a pompous fool than Albert previously gave him credit for.

And B.) even if he did know where she was he sure as fuck wasn’t about to tell hand her over to him out of pure spite. (I can see Wesker and Strange have kind of that same dynamic that Albert had with the rest of the older researchers when he first started at Arklay. They, including Strange, were old and out of touch stuck in their ways while he was the brilliant new visionary.)

Wesker makes Shade wait under the desk until he’s absolutely sure that the two are out of the building. Coincidentally, that was also the night they started to hook up. Wesker reasoned that it wasn’t a good idea for her to go back to her apartment, Strange and Crane were bound to go there next. So he offered to let her stay the night. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t find her incredibly attractive in a manic pixie dream girl kinda way, and that he didn’t sometimes think of how she would look at his mercy.

Cut to the Mansion Incident, where everything’s gone to shit, and now the two lovers were forced to show the hands they were keeping so closely clutched to their chests. But ultimately they were separated. She made it out alive, and with nowhere left to go, she went back Gotham. He did as well, but after the chaos that became Raccoon City and the G-Virus retrieval, she slipped right through his fingers and into the darkness.

So for three years they were apart, and in that time Strange caught up to her and pulled her back into the madhouse. The second time was so so much worse than the first. She became a bit colder, her remaining moral compass being chip away at but by bit. The only people keeping her anchored were Ivy, Harley, and Killer Croc. (Her n Waylon are BFFs nay homies ok? He even gave her the nickname Spooks) What added insult to injury was after the fall of Umbrella that rumors started to go around about someone continuing with he work. Rumors of a ruthless Mastermind with unnerving superhuman strength, speed, and intelligence. She knew he had survived, and while he was out there working to conquer the world, she was stuck here waiting for her brain to rot. Plus side is in the time she’s been stuck her powers have matured and her control is impeccable. Ivy was a wonderful teacher. She even learned that she can use that darkness to almost ‘infect’ other people’s minds and consciousness. She go in and have a bit of a look see. Maybe shake things up a bit here and there.

(Cut to sometime before 5. Excella’s in the picture, but Jill isn’t under his control yet.) Another mass break out at Arkham occurs, and instead of staying in Gotham Shade was going on a bit of a trip. She was going to find a certain someone.

But the ironic bit? Albert was actively searching for her in the background. After witnessing her powers first hand he knew there was a reason they matched each other so well. How they complimented each other. Especially after learning her whole story after he hacked into the ‘Suicide Squad’ database and saw his kitten’s file. She was a busy little thing. (He would so have tabs on Waller and the Squad. Fuck Capcom shoulda teamed up with DC instead of Marvel.) She was still his little pet project, and he wasn’t done molding her to his whims yet.

But he definitely wasn’t anticipating, the fury that was headed his way! When Shade catches up to Wesker, she comes down on him HARD. Think that one scene in Mr and Mrs Smith ‘You still kickin baby?’ *chef’s kiss*! She’s beyond pissed, and he goes from wanting to play with her until she broke to straight up wanting to wife her, not really more like ‘Well looks like I found my Goddess.~’

He lets her rage, a.) he’s absolutely smitten and b.) after imagining being at the hands of Strange and the other assholes of Arkham, he figures she needs to unload and hell, he’s a God he can take it.

All of this to say the new unhinged and decidedly more ruthless Nightshade is a HUGE turn on for Wesker and eventually Karl. Albert adores her sadistic streaks when it comes to their enemies, and when she giggles her absolutely insane unhinged giggle she makes when she gets to wail into an enemy with her bare hands, makes this warm feeling in Albert’s chest just blossom. He’ll never ever call it love tho. He’s got a ‘certain fondness’ for Shade and Karl, but I don’t think he’d outright say love. Adoration maybe. But I think he’s been too emotionally stunted by Spencer’s machination bullshit to go there with his emotions anymore. That part of him died as a child in order to survive, and only then sorta clinging to Alex for support.

And then Karl! Karl matches her chaotic energy so fuckin well like they have so much FUN together! Before meeting Shade, Heisenberg never really knew what having fun and a genuine good time with someone looked like until he met her. She was genuinely, and ironically, the light that he needed in his dark n dreary life.

There’s this comic, I can’t off the top of my head remember the artist, but if you recognize this description lmk, that goes with Karl is standing next to Alcina, a decapitated head at Heis’s feet, and he’s lining up his hammer with the head like a golf club. He bets Alcina he can make the shot to the sword on the maiden statue in the village. He makes the shot obvi but I can so see that being the type of shit those two get into while Shade’s positioned in the village. They are chaos gremlins together. Chris thought Shade n Harley was a handful to watch is now nothing compared to the shit her in Heisenberg get into.

So when all three of them get together OH MY GODS!!! Watch out world! They all wake up choosing violence every single fucking day and they all antagonize each other. Karl n Shade are about to do a stupid thing and Albert’s just egging em on. While Albert n Karl are sciencing, Shade’s in the middle. Al enjoys nothing more than to unleash his lovers on his unsuspecting enemies!

And if they’re under the supervision of Chris and the others, they will almost never have a moments rest with those three.

[neornuna]

The Scout

GENERAL

Name: Bumblebee Race: Cybertronian Visible Age: n/a

Actual Age: ???

Production Date: He can’t remember.

Revival Date: 06/05/?? (dd/mm/yy)

Gender: Cybertronian

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality: Queer

Preference: Male-leaning

APPEARANCE

Optics: Cyber Blue Shell: Electric Yellow Height: 17ft Body Type: Cybertronian Light Type: Arc (Hunter - loosely)

PERSONALITY

His Ghost would describe him as annoyingly incompetent. Someone nicer would describe him as bubbly, easily excited, and curious. He tends to get himself into trouble with his natural urge to explore, but he’s always able to get himself out of it as easily.

BACKGROUND

Revived in the swamps of Old Chicago, he can’t remember anything from before the day Papillion found him. He’s quite happy with his life now, but he can’t shake the itch that he’s forgetting (and thus failing at) something really important.

---

The Triplicate Conundrum

GENERAL

Name: Blitzwing Race: Cybertronian Visible Age: n/a

Actual Age: ???

Production Date: He can’t remember.

Revival Date: 08/05/?? (dd/mm/yy)

Gender: Cybertronian

Pronouns: he/any (neutral), she/they (chaotic), he/him (anger)

Sexuality: Queer

Preference: N/A

APPEARANCE

Optics: Cyber Red Shell: Royal Purple and Plum Height: 37ft Body Type: Cybertronian Light Type: Solar, Void, Arc (loosely adheres to all classes)

PERSONALITY

Their Ghost would describe him as unpredictable, and untrustworthy due to it. Blitzwing would describe himself as a mech just trying to find his way in the world. The personality varies by face, of course; Anger is mostly angry, as one would think, Neutral tends to front most often and has a flat affect, and in turn tends to be the most predictable. 

BACKGROUND

Revived in the swamps of Old Chicago, he can’t remember anything, not even the reason he feels so uncomfortable around his Ghost. He’s overly polite to Static to try and compensate, but it never works. He always feels like he’s missing something, now that he’s Risen, but he can’t put his finger on what.

---

The Escaped Pet Project

GENERAL

Name: Rocket Race: Raccoon-Cyborg…thing. Visible Age: ???

Actual Age: Fuck if he remembers.

Birth Date: Wasn’t sapient enough to keep track when he was born.

Rebirth Date: 01/01/?? (It was in the Golden Age, he remembers that)

Gender: Rocket, fuck you.

Pronouns: he/they/it

Sexuality: Aroace robosexual homoromantic

Preference: Anything metal

APPEARANCE

Eye/optics: Chocolate brown, sky blue, candy red Fur/plating: Slate grey/dark brown/cream, silver Height: 3’7” Body Type: Raccoon

PERSONALITY

Braytech calls him a smartass with dreams bigger than his body can handle. The authorities call him a cocky son of a bitch, with a real hard-on for guns and machines, who has the chronic need to be the smartest guy in the room. Groot knows him as a frightened animal who constantly feels like he’s backed into a corner, who has five escape plans for every situation. He’s self-described as a machismo-filled heroine that’s good with machines.

BACKGROUND

Imagine being forced into sapience, into what humans envision as the ideal of apex life. Imagine being so smart you don’t have the words for it, and never getting the opportunity to learn the words for it. Imagine your friends dying because you didn’t move fast enough. Imagine personally clawing up the face of Clovis Bray I. Imagine a sting in the back of your skull, then waking up god knows how long later, blind, deaf, unable to move beyond shivering, unable to speak, because you’d been put on ice semi-permanently. Imagine being unable to comprehend the freedoms before you, because you never had the chance before. Imagine not recognising your body for the first couple years you were back up and rehabilitating, because when you went to sleep you were still a juvenile. Imagine having to half-replace yourself with tech you despise because frostbite took half of your faculties. You now know what it’s like to be Rocket Raccoon.

---

The Flowering Heart

GENERAL

Name: Groot Race: Groot Visible Age: Groot’s a tree.

Actual Age: Tree

Birth Date: Not possible to transcribe on Sol calendars, Rocket celebrates Groot’s birthday on the same day Groot found him, so 23/09.

Rising Date: Who cares?

Gender: Groot

Pronouns: groot/groot/groot. Will accept he/him, they/them, it/its

Sexuality: Aroace

Preference: N/A

APPEARANCE

Eyes: N/A Bark: Brown Height: Variable; sticks around 8’5”. Body Type: Tree Light Type: Flora (arc/solar) (no class adherence)

PERSONALITY

I am Groot.

BACKGROUND

I am Groot.

---

The Super Colonel

GENERAL

Name: Sarge Race: Cybernetically upgraded Human (Chinese-American) Visible Age: He never takes off his helmet, nobody knows.

Actual Age: Rude!

Birth Date: July 4th, of course!

Rising Date: He forgot.

Gender: MAN!

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Has relationships with women, and sex with men (Pansexual)

Preference: N/A

APPEARANCE

Eyes: ??? Skin: His armour is his skin at this point, so…red. Height: 5’4” Body Type: Chubby in the buff way Light Type: Solar (it’s the most red) (+ explosions) (Titan)

PERSONALITY

Loud, proud, brash, dumbass, yet somehow tactically gifted in ways most people can’t comprehend. He’s a complete and utter jackass, but under everything is a man who cares deeply and doesn’t know how to show it.

BACKGROUND

He will not tell anyone, he refuses to tell anyone a lick of backstory, and every time you needle him for information, he will say something wildly different and off the cuff every time. His fake backstories include being a failed clone of Lord Shaxx, being the last living descendant of Zavala, being dredged out of the methane sea on Titan, being a scientist that worked with Rasputin personally, and being a failed clone of the Young Wolf.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Origins —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

Words: 2,086

Phase Three Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Jaden’ -by EMBLEM3

xxvi: Moving On

"It's a new day at the Avengers compound!" Pietro pointed the camera at his face. "We have a full house this month! Copy! Can you explain to the watchers what are we doing?"

"Pietro, you know I don't like cameras."

"C'mon, this isn't supposed to be seen by anyone but us!" He pouted. "And maybe the others once they come back... don't be such a bore!"

"Stop," she grinned, trying to snatch the phone away from his grasp.

"Hey you two, we could use some help over here!" Rocket shouted.

"Sorry!" Pietro directed the camera at the raccoon and zoomed on his face. "Can you share a word of wisdom with the viewers?"

"Don't work with humans, they're a pain in the ass."

Cat sat next to the raccoon and watched him work for a moment. Tony entered and raised his voice.

"Ratchet, how's it going?"

"It's Rocket," Her friend replied. "Take it easy. You're only a genius on Earth, pal."

Behind Tony, the God of thunder burped and stared at them with disinterest, Pietro and Cat shared a look.

"You could've taken a shower, man," Cat commented.

"What for? I smell okay," Thor smiled brightly.

"You smell like garbage," Pietro scoffed.

"Kitkat, think fast!" Tony tossed a screw at her. "It's time I teach you how to change a tire. Only it's a multibillion-dollar machine that could save the world and if you mess up everyone will hate you."

"Awesome," Cat stood up. "There's only one problem with that, Tony. I'm not smart for this."

"What are you talking about? You're the smartest girl in the room."

"I'm the only girl in the room."

"Rocket, help me out here," Tony looked at the raccoon.

"You're too dumb to discern one end of the screw from the other," He spoke to her with disinterest. "It'd be easier to teach a dog how to read."

"Dipshit," Cat scowled at him. "Give me that!"

The mutant snatched the tube Tony was holding and stomped over to the massive construction, Tony stared at Rocket with a frown.

"That's how you get her to do things," He snickered.

"Don't mind me guys, I'm just here to pick up—"

Cat stopped in the middle of the room, her pupils dilated.

"Oh great," Clint groaned. "It's you."

"Look who decided to show up!" She crossed her arms. "Heard you got a tattoo— Did they have to stretch your skin so the wrinkles wouldn't get in the way?"

"Heard you got kicked out of space," The man retorted without missing a beat. "Not even the smelly, talking raccoons like sharing a room with you?"

"I'm calling the feds," Cat drew out her phone.

"Hey, now, we're all on the same team," Banner intervened.

"We're joking, big guy, don't worry," Clint said. "It's nice to see you, Heathen."

"Likewise buddy," She replied.

Their voices didn't sound enthusiastic in the least.

"Hey, wait a second," Rhodes gave a start, looking at all of the equipment, "let me ask you something. If we can do this, you know... go back in time, why don't we just find baby Thanos, you know? And..."

He gestured as if he were wrapping a rope around someone's neck, then moved his fists to opposite sides like strangling someone.

"I don't mind that idea!" Cat said.

"Doesn't surprise me," Clint muttered.

"I volunteer to do it, I'm not fussy," She continued. "I can practice on Clint if you want."

"First of all, that's horrible," Banner replied.

"It's Thanos," Rhodey rolled his eyes.

"And secondly, time doesn't work that way. Changing the past doesn't change the future."

"Wait, isn't that what we're doing?" Cat asked, suddenly looking confused. "Aren't we going to the past to stop Thanos from getting the stones?"

"That's not the plan," Nebula replied calmly.

"Look, we go back, we get the stones before Thanos gets them— Thanos doesn't have the stones. Problem solved!" Scott agreed.

"Bingo," Clint replied.

"That's not how it works," Nebula insisted.

"Well, that's what I heard..."

"Wait but who? Who told you that?"

"Star Trek, Terminator, Timecop, Time after time—"

"Quantum leap."

"Wrinkle in time, Somewhere in time—"

"Hot tub time machine."

"Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure— Basically, any movie that deals with time travel!"

"Die-hard—! No, that's not one."

"This is known!"

"I don't know why everyone believes that, but that isn't true. Think about it, if you travel to the past, that past becomes your future, and your former present becomes the past— which can't now be changed by your new future!"

"Exactly," Nebula muttered.

"So Back to the future is a bunch of bullshit?"

"I'm not stopping myself from dropping out of high school?" The girl asked in a fragile voice. "I thought... I thought that was the whole point."

"The whole point is to recover what we lost," Banner placed a hand on her shoulder. "But what's done it's done, Cat. Even if we try, you'd be creating an alternate life that is not the one you're currently on. You'd be creating a variant of yourself, it wouldn't be you the one that gets to live it."

"I... I need a moment." Copycat turned around.

"Weren't you here to pick something up?" Banner called.

"Tony can get it himself!" She shouted without stopping.

Someone knocked on her door, but it took five more tries for her to speak.

"If you're here to bring me food just leave it outside!" She shouted. "If you're here to comfort me go to hell!"

She sat up, still wrapped in a heavy blanket, and dragged herself to the desk next to her window. She opened the top drawer and seized several envelopes, all of them in different states of preservation. Those were the letters she'd addressed to Peter for the last five years.

At first, they were constant, she would write to him three times a week, but as time went on and she grew up, went to space, and met new people, the letters were reduced to short notes.

Part of the reason why she'd stopped was that she considered it was starting to be less helpful and more obsessive. She needed to let go, she wasn't going to get Peter back... then Scott showed up rambling about time travel, full to the brim of that desperate, wild hope that she once had. Cat began to imagine what she'd do with a second chance... she shouldn't have done that.

'Peter,' She wrote, 'We're bringing everyone back.'

Her eyes began to sting, she dropped the pen and rubbed them until they hurt, then continued writing as quickly as possible.

'It won't be the same, though. You'll be exactly as I remember you, but I'm not who I was. I've made mistakes... It's going to hurt you, you won't understand, but it'll be worse if I hold onto you.'

Her throat tightened to the point she had to cough to relax it, her hand was hurting, and the pen was flushing the skin that was tightly pressing against it.

'You deserve better.'

Kurt knocked on her door aggressively, he raised his voice.

"I don't know what kind of crisis is making you act this way but enough is enough! There can only be one mentally distraught hero at a time and Thor's the sad bitch in turn! Get your ass out of bed or I'll—"

She opened her door, her friend leaped away from it.

"You're getting on my nerves," Cat replied hoarsely.

"I got desperate," He smiled.

"I'm okay," She left the room and pushed her hair out of her face. "I've to take long breaks after talking to Clint, otherwise I'll commit a hate crime."

"Mhmm," Kurt put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed a little. "C'mon, Pietro brought doughnuts."

"Alright, Clint, we're going in three, two, one..."

Exactly as with Scott, the older agent got sucked into the tunnel and was brought back ten seconds later. He was on the floor, panting.

"Hey, hey— look at me!" Nat knelt next to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Clint looked around. "Yeah. It worked... It worked."

"Holy fucking shit," Cat breathed.

"Language!" Tony and Steve scolded her.

Cat looked at both men in amusement, Steve stared at Tony with mirth.

"Oh, shut up," Tony groaned.

"You're getting old," Cat teased him.

"You were less annoying when you were fourteen," The man retorted. "Little shit."

They held up meetings to think of a way to get all the stones in one trip, they divided into groups, it was imperative that they figured out who was better suited to visit each place.

"Quill said he stole the power stone from Morag—"

"Is that a person?"

"No, Morag's a planet," Rocket frowned. "Quill was a person."

"A very dumb one," Cat added, absently playing with her food.

"So you must've gotten along," Clint taunted.

"Wait, a planet?" Scott piped up. "Like in outer space?"

"Oh look!" Rocket cooed. "It's like a little puppy! All happy and everything," He started to ruffle Scott's hair. "Do you wanna go to space? You wanna go to space, puppy? I'll take you to space!"

"Knock it off!" Kurt threw a crumpled-up napkin at him. "Not everyone is used to traveling across the universe, Rat."

"Why's no one grossed out about Rocket walking on the table where we're currently eating?" Pietro made a face. "You're gonna throw fur all over my chicken!"

"Imma put more than just fur on you, you little—"

Cat reached across the table and seized Rocket by the end of his scarf, dragging him away from her brother. "You're embarrassing me."

"You wanna talk about embarrassing?" He tried to squirm out of her grasp. "How about the time you puked on the ship's console?"

"What!"

"Did you get that on video?"

"Can we focus on the stones, please?" She clasped a hand over Rocket's snout to quiet his cackles.

"That time stone guy..." Nat said.

"Doctor Strange!" Banner replied.

"Yeah, what kind of doctor was he?"

"A very irritating one," Cat said as she slowly paced around the office.

"Ear-nose-throat meets rabbit-from-hat," Tony clarified, he was laying next to Nat, both had climbed on the desk.

"Nice place in the village, though..." Banner mumbled from his place on the rug.

"Yeah, on Sullivan street?"

"Why is it that rich people are such a pain in the ass?" Cat asked out loud as she hopped over Hulk's legs.

"I'm a rich person, Kitkat—"

"Yeah, that's precisely my point."

"Wait, he lived in New York?" Nat questioned.

"No, he lived in Toronto," Tony said sarcastically. "Have you been listening to anything?"

"He lived in Bleecker and Sullivan."

"I don't know any street names apart from Hell's kitchen and Queens."

"Those aren't streets."

"How do you move around the city without knowing street names?"

"I don't need to know, I fly and teleport everywhere..."

"You drive a motorcycle!" Tony exclaimed. "Did no one teach you how to do that properly?"

"If you drive on the sidewalk you don't need to know the law," She joked.

"Jesus..."

"Guys," Nat insisted. "If you pick the right year, there are three stones in New York."

Cat stopped her pacing, the men sat up.

"Shut the front door," Banner breathed.

The young mutant smiled. "I know exactly which year to pick!"

"All right, we have a plan," Steve walked around the lounge room. "Six stones, three teams, one shot."

Pietro nudged her arm. "You excited?"

"Kinda," She admitted. "Always thought of New York's invasion with respect. It was thanks to the chaos that I managed to flee the lab, the idea of witnessing the whole thing first-hand it's kind of thrilling."

"Well, it'll be more interesting than my part for sure," Her brother sighed.

"Hey, your part is important," She patted his arm. "You'll bring us back, without you we'd probably get stuck."

"How is Wagner feeling about his role?"

"Well, he's not anxious," She looked at the opposite corner where Kurt and Rocket were chatting. "This is just like any other mission. He'll be with his captain, as long as Kurt has a leader to follow, he won't be afraid."

"I've been thinking," Pietro moved sideways to face her. "I don't know what I'll say to Wanda once I see her. It'll be weird, I'm five years older than her now... crazy, huh?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," She warned him. "We have to get the stones, Speedy, then we can think about the rest."

"Let yourself dream a little, Copy."

Cat raised a brow. "I'll be happy if we succeed, but I don't want you getting hurt by a fantasy."

"You're still set on breaking up with Peter, then?"

"Obviously," She rolled her eyes. "He'll come back as a teenager and I'm an adult. Not only that, but I've been with others in his absence, I don't think it's fair to keep him when I haven't been faithful."

"I think he'd understand—"

"I don't want him to," She said sharply. "He'll have his own experiences just like I did, otherwise he'd end up resenting me."

"Well, you'll keep him around as a friend at least, I hope," Pietro sighed. "That'll leave the door open in case you decide to give it a second try."

"That won't happen."

"If you say so," He said. "You should sleep, heroes can't save the world if they're tired."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@ieatpanicattacksforlunch​​​​​​​​​ @jesuswasnotawhiteman​​​​​​​​​ @siriuslysirius1107​​​​​​​​​​ @greengarsstuff​​​​​​​​​ @itsyagirl01 @23victoria​​​​​​​​​ @espressopatronum454​​​​​​​​​ @jkthinkstoomuch

[fictionkinfessions]

HELLO dear brothers of mine. you're both so smart and so strong even tho u might not know it. you're so cool okay. id love to give u both hugs so know that i am giving you hugs emotionally.

tomato fertilizer. wise guy. bentley. bailing us outta trouble? all the time?? look at you GO. from your first time on the field to kicking absolute tail in Prague and then kicking MORE absolute tail,, well pretty much throughout the entirety of the mapfinding. with a magnet and an afterburner you're practically doin my job for me !! you're quite possibly the smartest fella ive ever known. just please stop stabbing people in the knees /j

big guy. tough guy. The Murray. punchin' through 50 guards like they were NOTHIN. finding yourself and DEVELOPING MAGICAL ABILITIES HELLO !! look at you go !! you've pretty much got my raccoon roll down w your ball form my guy. AND you can use it to smash people. you're ALSO kickin' tail i promise, savin my dumbass from rajan and then savin bentleys dumbass from octavio a little later. you're the toughest guy ive ever met and you've got the biggest heart too.

i hope you both have a good day today and i hope you get the chance to take a nap. 'cause let's be real you both could use a nap. i love you and just know you've always got somebody fightin' in your corner.

i was here! - sly cooper (fictive.. i..... think)

ill probably be back later to keep goin' about the rest of my team n' carmelita, and i look forward to seein' you guys then <3

=

[ourladytamara]

Big Game

(1.1k)

Tamara 2022 | @_proletkvlt

CWs: snuff, gore, murder, girl serial killers, guns, knives, blood, all the good stuff

Wind howls through the pines as you suck down lungful after lungful of knife-cold air, each stomp of your worn-out feet weighing down on you like an extra hundred pounds. Your only light, as had been your only light for the past three days, is the dim, new moon above, twinkling with the milky bands of stars and covering the entire woodland in a haunting white glow. Where once in your mind fear had stricken you, kept you ambling forward, now burned red-hot with fury and ambition. After coming so far, you weren’t ready to give in on the victory lap.

Right ahead, hidden in the overgrowth and rusted with age, is the gate that bore your salvation. It’s less than a hundred feet, just through a clearing of trodden soil and spent shell casings; tears well up in your eyes as you get closer and closer, knowing that finally, your torment is over. You’d bested her – where so many had failed, you had succeeded. A low, manic giggle escapes your drooping, bloodied lips. Yes. Yes.

A low click. You skip a step, and then another. Something new – something hotter – now burns into your upper thigh. Before your thoughts can finish, you slam face-first into the dirt and shriek out loud.

No.

It takes you only an instant after your face hits the ground for you to realize you’ve been shot. How did she see you? How did she draw aim on such a frantic target? All of the questions start to string together and tangle before the mental knot hangs you like a noose. Heavy, plodding footsteps creep behind you – followed by the unmistakable stinging, sinking pain of being stabbed in the other leg.

You scream out, but a hand claps over your mouth, snuffing your sound and breath in a single grasp.

“Made it a lot further than they usually do – I’ll give you that.”

Her breath is hot and reeks of meat and whiskey, spittle flying against your cheek as she whispers – perhaps growls – into your ear. How did she find you? How did she catch you? How? How??

“Granted, most of my playthings kill themselves pretty early on – saves them the trouble, I guess. You were different, though.”

She pulls her dagger out of your thigh, a horrifying wet pop signaling the amount of blood it’d drawn out with it.

“Still, should’ve known better than to think I would’ve lost sight of you – these are MY woods, after all.” she murmurs, voice like a rumbling engine. Her heavy leather coat and the sheer density of her stone-chiseled body bears down on you as she shifts her weight onto your back, crushing the remaining wind out of your tired lungs.

She’d taken you in the night – remembering when was impossible. Woke you up with a bucket of ice water on the forest floor, somewhere in the far northwestern corner of the barbed-wire-encircled property. Told you what she wanted from you: entertainment. Barefoot, naked, and alone, she gave you a minute and a half to run – and so you ran.

Not far enough. Not fast enough.

She bites your ear, nibbling on it playfully as she puts the still-bleeding knife up to your lips.

“Taste yourself.”

Trembling, tears now flowing unabated, you extend your tongue, lapping at the metallic liquid; you stare up at her with teary eyes, barely able to see her eyes beneath her full-face plastic mask.

“You know, the girls who off themselves – they’re usually the smartest.”

You keep licking at your own blood, head now cocked up forcefully by her free arm, keeping you in mandatory eye-contact with the beady pupils cast in shadow.

“You kept running – thinking you got away from me, didn’t you? Ahah,” she chuckles, snorting more hot breath against your cheek, “see, that’s why you’re not one of the smart ones – the ones who realize they can’t get away from me.”

Air hitches in your throat.

“You were real cute, sleeping in those trees – like a little raccoon, only dumber and less aware of your inevitable death.”

You spent the last three nights up in the branches of various trees; every single night, every minute and every unconscious breath, you’d taken them far off the ground – right in the waiting, watching eye of your tormentor.

No.

“’Least you were a better show than the rest of ‘em typically are.”

She puts the blade back between your lips, now slicing them up as she drags the sharp edge across your bloodstained face. It burns, agony creeping up inside of you, yet the pain never follows. A hand slides up between your mud-caked thighs, calloused fingers sliding across the scratched, bruised flesh of your most tender areas. Shivers run down your spine, her hands utterly freezing – yet the cold never comes.

Shock is all you feel. Pain, loss – why had you wasted so much time only for the inevitable to be delayed so callously?

Why did you give her what she wanted?

You stare down at the gate before you, the padlock enticingly left open; just beyond it, the trees seem to thin out. Tear-filled eyes dart back to your masked captor as you start to wail through your now bloodied and cutmarked lips.

Something warm and metallic presses against the back of your head, the hollow center unmistakably prodding your brain stem.

You can’t even muster a single whimper before she pulls the trigger again. Another snap, the silenced round tearing through the back of your head like tissue paper, blasting a hole clean through your entire head.

You – your body, now unoccupied by your racing thoughts – slump to the ground a final time.

Silence consumes the moonlit woods, the echoing blast ringing beyond the trees for a moment before it, too, is consumed by the stifling quiet.

The masked woman stands up – and pulls your cell phone from her pocket. She knew your password, just like she knew so many other intimate details of your former little life; all the names of your friends, for one – and she knew that you’d made sure to record their addresses in your contacts list, too.

A single figure pushes through the rusty, overgrown gate, leaving the bloodsoaked woodlands – and your lifeless, waiting body – behind her. A smile crawls across her lips as she lifts the white, featureless mask away from her head, lowering her hood.

After all, aside from the delightful few days of entertainment you brought her, you’d also given her the greatest gift of all: a smorgasbord of fresh meat.

She’d be busy in the coming few weeks – very busy, indeed.