#snowpiercer fan fiction

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter 24: When It All Goes Out

Summary- 5.8k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. Returning from Florida meant returning to the last bit of winter weather and it hit with ferocity, leaving Duluth without power. Luckily Curtis is ready to handle such a challenge.

Warnings- Intimate sex and some talk of Curtis's past and his grandparents being ill from cancer and a stroke. Mentions of freezing cold weather? Is that a warning?

A/N- I had to throw in a winter storm because they are something I experience every year, along with losing our power when it is freezing ice cold and it is miserable. I need someone like Curtis who can make that experience a lot better! I also wanted to meet some more of his family and this seemed like a good way to do it. As always, thank you so much @what-is-your-plan-today for editing this, also thank you to everyone who has been following these two! Divider made by @firefly-graphics As always happy reading, Liking, Commenting, and Reblogging are so appreciated! 🐝

Chapter Twenty-Three / Masterlist

The end of February and beginning of March came in with the coldest snap of the year, the wind blew freezing temperatures off the lake and you swore you were moving to live with Jade after the fifth night you stood at your stove while stirring your pot of hot soup. Curtis was working on putting heavy sheets of clear plastic over your very drafty windows after he felt how much cold was creeping in, leaving your heat running constantly.

“I have plenty here if you want some dinner.” You muttered as you tasted the broth off the tip of your spoon. “But I’m sure you are sick of it by now?” 

Curtis was stretching to the tip of his toes to get the tape in place, giving you a glimpse of his pale belly, the Florida tan having faded away as fast as it arrived. You could feel yourself getting all wistful for the sun filtering through the palm trees in Frank and Jade’s backyard.

“Honey, if you're feeding me, I’m not going to have any complaints. Soup sounds warm and I’m still freezing from today. Sucks having to work outside on days like today. Should have seen Edgar. Had on so many layers he could barely move.” He moved back from the windows and checked the seams of the plastic. “Okay, I think this will help a bit. I don't feel a draft sneaking through anymore.” 

You clicked off the stove and hugged around his waist. “Thank you Curtis.” 

“I got your bedroom too, that was not quite as bad as these kitchen ones, but Honey this building has so many issues.” He frowned as his eyes roamed around your tiny apartment. 

“As soon as my lease is up, I’m moving. I’m not crazy about this place either. I was thinking about a little house next.” You said while easing back to the stove to ladle up the soup. “I miss having a garden to work in. I had the most beautiful one with my parents since I also lived in an apartment there.” You placed the bowels side by side at the table while Curtis picked up his supplies. “I always wanted a yard, with a porch either on the front or back of the house.” You smiled a bit at the thought of it, Curtis catching your wistful look while you daydreamed.

“You know my Gram had lots of gardens in that yard. If we can’t find the house you want, you can certainly use them.” He offered as you finished up the table with some drinks and warm bread that you had baked that afternoon, butter alongside it, because warm bread needed slathers of salty butter to bring it to life. It was something you used to deny yourself daily. Now you thoroughly enjoyed it whenever the mood struck. It started with you making it for Curtis, because he enjoyed it so much but now, it was just as much for yourself as him. 

Hearing Curtis mention the old garden beds at his own house made you perk up. “She did? Do you remember what was in them? Are they even still there?” 

“Yeah, they are still there, it wouldn’t be hard for me to rent a rototiller to break that ground back up for you. And she did everything, flowers, vegetables, herbs. There are some bushes and fruit trees back behind the treehouse that can probably be brought back to life. All her tools are still in the shed. Grandpa didn’t have the heart to toss them after she stopped being able to use them.” Curtis dunked a piece of bread in his soup and bit into it, letting his eyes slip to a close while he chewed, thoroughly enjoying his food. 

“I would love to revive your Grandmother's gardens Curtis.” You worked on sitting down but once again Curtis hooked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his lap, hugging around you. You didn’t try to pull away like before, just slid your bowl over close to his and took your own bite. You had to admit it was warmer in his hold, a feeling of security that you’ve grown accustomed to being with Curtis.

“Mmhh you’re so warm, makes me wish I could stay tonight.” He grumbled, knowing in this cold he had to keep his fire going and make sure his water didn’t freeze up. “She would appreciate it, I tried for a few years to keep them going after she passed, but it was so time consuming and I just didn’t have enough hours in the day and I just didn’t have the knack for keeping anything alive like she could.” 

“Trust me, I wish you could stay too. You are like a furnace when you’re sleeping, perfect to keep me warm tonight.” You chuckled, leaning into him as you took a bite of bread, savoring its rich warm taste. “I will send some of this bread home with you.” You twisted a bite off for Curtis and held it up to him, which he promptly took with a light nip to your fingertips. “Make yourself some toast tomorrow before work.” 

“You do that and I will just come back looking for more.” He teased you with a bypass on soup and bread for the curve of your neck, hitting that sweet spot of yours that always made your breath catch. Your hand lifted to cup the back of his head, making you breathe deeply while muttering a curse at him. 

“You're an absolute fucking menace Everett.” Making him laugh deeply, the vibrations from his chest felt in your back where you were pressed against him. “Keeping you coming back was my master plan though. However how about we go to a movie and dinner tomorrow? My Friday night treat?” 

“You wanna take me out on a date, Pretty Girl?” 

“Sure, gotta show you off once in a while.” You winked at him before turning back to your soup. 

“Well, I will be delighted, make sure I wear my finest beanie hat and coat you got me for Christmas.” Curtis promised, making your cheeks heat with affection at how happy he still was with his Christmas gifts. 

Friday you ended up waking up to a freezing cold apartment. You weren’t the only one you found out while you bundled up into several layers, your phone was flashing with weather alerts and school cancellations due to power. The cold snap ended up being matched with high winds that snapped frozen tree branches all over the place, knocking out several areas of power all over Duluth. 

You were bundling up in even more clothes, trying to remember all the things your dad taught you about what to do during a power outage like this when your phone rang with Curtis’s name popping up. 

“Hey.” You answered while curling up in your bed to get in the blankets. “You without power too?” 

“Yes, I woke up a while ago getting the fire going and making sure my water was running. Pack a bag, you should come stay with me. I’m going to go pick up my aunt to bring her here, Ella is packing up her and Sophia. It’s too cold for you all to be staying without heat.” 

You happened to agree and staying at Curtis’s sounds much better than your icebox of an apartment. 

“You are a literal knight in shining armor Curtis.” You made him chuckle into the phone. “Want me to grab anything?” 

“Nah, I got everything we need. If the car has a hard time starting, give me a call and I will pick you up. When you get here pull right into the garage.  The truck should be fine as long as I cover it from the wind.” He instructed and once you assured him you would be there soon, you hung up. 

Clothes weren’t much of a problem, you had plenty there. But you wanted to bring your laptop in case you were able to do a bit of work on it, plus you were sure Curtis had a small emergency battery you could plug it into to charge. You grabbed a few other things that you knew wouldn’t do well in the cold, including your tiny little spider plant you were just starting. You finally managed to get your bag of stuff you needed in the car and luck was with you as it quickly started without too much trouble.

When you got to Curtis’s place, going in through the garage, it was currently empty of any occupants. Your bag of stuff in one hand, your spider plant precariously balanced in the other, you called out Curtis’s name, not expecting any answer. “Guess it’s just me and you for now, Peter.” You muttered to your little sprig of greenery, making sure to place it in the living room where the wood stove was currently keeping the space toasty warm.

Figuring Curtis must be picking up his aunt, whom you had yet to meet, and Ella was coming with Sophia, you decided to get some hot water onto the stove, which luckily still managed to work with the flick of a lighter, enabling you to start heating up water and milk for drinks. Going into your cupboard above the stove, you brought down several teas, a container of instant coffee and a special mix of cocoa you had purchased with Sophia in mind. 

“Jesus Christ and tits, it's cold out.” Ella suddenly announced as she ushered Sophia through the garage door, holding onto her kid’s jacket before she could bolt off. “Get your boots off and go say hi to Y/N.” “I got some cocoa for Sophia going if she wants some.” You poked your head into the hallway to see if they needed any help. Ella tossed you a bag of clothes for you to take off her hands while she worked on getting Sophia out of the outside clothes.

“What do you say Soph, hot chocolate?” 

“Does it have the mallows?” She asked so solemnly and you nodded with enthusiasm.

“Unicorn ones. I picked them up last week when I was grocery shopping.”

Sophia’s brown eyes widened with excitement and she hurriedly wriggled out of her clothes while you went to set the bag of clothes in the living room. When you came back out to the kitchen, she was pulling the stool over to the counter to help assist in your cocoa making adventures. “Ella, you want anything?” 

“If you have any kind of coffee, I would fight my cousin and make you my girlfriend.” She shouted while she stuffed everything in the closet to get it out of the way. 

“I got instant.” you answered back while pouring the heated milk into a mug. “Careful Soph, it’s hot.” Grabbing the package, you emptied it into a flower mug for Sophia. 

“Oooh, they are pink and purple unicorns!” The little girl said excitedly as she carefully stirred the powder into the milk, changing the color to a soft brown color. She scooped a marshmallow and blew on it before biting it. “Mmmhh.”

“Perfect for today.” You agreed with Sophia while you made two more mugs, one with instant coffee for Ella and you drizzled some of your honey into another and a tea bag. Ella came in, pressing cold hands against her daughter's warming cheeks, making Sophia squeal and twist out of her mothers hold to march to the table with her mug.

“Ahhh, looks like I have to fight Curtis, good thing I fight dirty.” She wrapped her hands around her mug and stole a splash of warm milk and sugar to finish sweetening it. 

“I will be your cheerleader from the sideline. I am a great prize.” You snorted in laughter. “So what were your plans this weekend before all this?” 

“Oh Sophia was gonna go stay at my mother’s for an overnight while I went to the aquarium to help set up a new exhibit.” Ella sipped from her mug. “I will still go tonight if they let me. Right now everything is going into maintaining the generators, so they might not let any of us go ahead with doing the changeover exhibits.” she shrugged. “I’m actually okay if I have the weekend off. It was a pain in the ass touch tank, one that always is a bitch to deep clean those things.” 

“Momma!” Sophia scowled over her mug, sporting a chocolate mustache now. “You swore.” 

“Don’t worry, it will happen again.” Ella crossed her eyes at Sophia to make her giggle and went right back to her coffee and convo with you. “What about you and Curtis? Any plans this weekend?” 

“Ahh, we were going to do a little date night tonight when I got out of work. Movie and dinner, been a while since we have done that, but I don’t know how long this storm will keep the power out for. Staying in works for me though. I can spend the day in comfy clothes.” 

Ella shot out her leg to show the fuzzy pajama bottoms she was wearing sporting the batman logos and extra thick socks, one in bright pink, the other in purple. “I’m right there with you.” 

The rumble of a truck could be heard and Ella sprang from her chair to open the garage door. “Hey mom! Curtis! Just in time, Y/N has hot water going.” Ella’s arm wrapped around an older woman, half hidden in a giant winter coat and Curtis followed her hurriedly, his heavy boots thumping on the linoleum as if he was trying to warm up and get the door closed against the chill. You could just barely see him under his hoodie, which he shoved down off his head but kept his beanie on, pulling it down enough to cover the tops of his ears. 

“It’s like hell froze over out there.” He opted to kick his boots off and slip his jacket off to hang in the closet. 

“UNCLE CURTIS.” Sophia scowled at him from the kitchen table. “Bad word!” 

Curtis scowled right back at his niece, taking the effort to make a funny face at her to make her giggle into her cup as her expression went from serious disappointment to glee. “How much do I owe you now for the bad words?” 

“Million trillion gazillion.” Sophia said confidently and Curtis sighed with exasperation. 

“Kabillion? I might have to write you a check kid.” He continued teasing her. 

Ella assisted helping her mom, talking a mile a minute to the woman. Sophia waved a hand while she had her cup half tipped to her mouth, choosing to finish her precious unicorn hot chocolate before going to greet her grammy and uncle. You just stayed quiet, sipping your tea and watched everyone greet each other in a chaotic manner. 

“Froze over and then decided it still wasn’t cold enough.” Ella confirmed Curtis’s statement while the trio went into the kitchen. “Y/N, have you met my mother yet?” 

“No, but I’m glad you were able to come.” You held out a hand and the woman, who was on the shorter side of the family, just coming up to your own shoulders meaning Curtis and Ella towered over her, looked at your hand and swept it away as if offended. 

“I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like we’ve already met.” She wrapped her arms around you, catching you by surprise. “Call me Lisa.” 

You were quick to recover with a swift smile and nod. “Sure Lisa. You must be frozen, please come to the table so I can make you something.” 

The woman accepts graciously, letting you lead her away while Ella gathers boots to tuck away and Curtis finishes hanging up winter clothes in the closet. They could hear Lisa start right in about how the kitchen table had been her parents and had many similar days, spent around it warming up after a cold winter day with ‘coffee strong enough to keep you awake for days.’ Making you laugh as you joined Lisa and Sophia at the table. 

“See that, fits right in. Mom loves her.” Ella winked at Curtis who gave an eye roll, but he couldn’t keep the grin at bay seeing how relaxed you were alongside his niece and aunt, comfortable as could be. 

The day was soon filled with activities to pass the time now that Curtis was sure everyone was able to stay warm. Several games were dragged out from the top living room bookshelves, helping make them kid-friendly so Sophia could play. 

The small wood stove in the living room kept the house heated for the most part and when it came to the evening, you started to light candles while Curtis went to retrieve some of his grandparent's old oil lamps from the garage. The house felt lively as the rest of the world almost felt shut down, at least in their part of Duluth. 

The oil lamps cast a warm glow around the living room, Curtis making sure to set a couple near where his aunt was curled on the couch, working on a project with her crochet hook and a large bag near her full of bright colored yarns. 

Sophia and Curtis were playing some game nearby while Ella worked in the kitchen, picking up from the meal earlier. You sat on the other end of the couch, taking a breather after the chaos of the day, Ella having chased you from the kitchen claiming she had it all under control. You also didn’t want Lisa to be alone and although you didn’t know her, felt better giving her some company. 

The woman was just as friendly as Curtis and Ella, her eyes lifting from her project with a smile. “Dinner was fantastic Y/N, you can make me chili any time.”

You eased a bit at her friendly welcoming tone. “Thanks, it was the only thing I could come up with that didn’t require the power for the oven.” 

Lisa laughed, hooking her string around her finger, and with a flash her hook was back to a whirl of movement. “My parents always went to beans and hot dogs.” Her eyes flashed and a soft smile curled her mouth at the memory. “You will get creative. This happens quite often up here this time of year. I keep telling Curtis he needs to replace the generator, it’s on his to-do list.” Lisa leveled you a look, making you giggle a bit. 

“He has a long to-do list?” 

“So he claims. But he has done a good job on this old place. It was a lot rougher a few years ago when Dad was sick. A lot of repairs needed to get done, these old houses as sturdy as they are, are also always falling apart.” Lisa said softly while she started another row. “Curtis moved back in when mom got sick and for that, I’m always going to be grateful to him.” 

You nodded, curious as you hadn’t heard much about this time in Curtis’s life. “It must have been hard for all of you when that happened.” 

Lisa nodded in agreement as she twisted her project, inspecting her stitches. “Cancer is harsh. Mom refused to be sad about it though and I think that kind of took a toll on Dad and Curtis, because they weren’t able to be sad about it either. At least not near her. Then after Mom passed, Dad just went downhill, heartbreak.” She said, sighing as she glanced at you. “Then when he had his stroke, Curtis stayed to help take care of him too and make sure he wasn’t living alone.” The older woman seemed lost in her memories for a moment till she glanced at you, seeing that you were paying attention. “I’m sorry, this is a heavy conversation after we just met.” 

“It’s okay.” You assured Lisa with a genuine gentle smile. “It helps to talk about them. Curtis mentions things once in a while. I know he misses them a lot.” 

“Sometimes that boy keeps way too much buried inside, always being the one who takes care of everyone.” Lisa smiled thankfully, giving a small glance around the room that she had grown up in, as well as her daughter and nephew, now her granddaughter would have memories as well

“We all keep too much inside, why I agree with you. It does help to talk about them. I’m glad Curtis still does. Do you crochet?” She held up her project in question. 

“No, that's one I have never gotten to try. I sew costumes for the drama club. But I always wanted to learn.” 

“Well get over here, I got more hooks and plenty of yarn, let me teach you.” Lisa set her project aside and pulled up her bag. “What’s your favorite color?” 

“Oh um, I love almost anything.” You peered into the bag and she pulled out a spool of greens that reminded you of summertime. 

“You can use this, I have more at home. Okay, so we are going to start with a loop…” 

You got engrossed in the lesson, and you and Lisa lost track of the other people in the house. Not by Curtis though, once in a while he would wander into the brightly lit living room to check on the fire, which didn’t actually need any tending. 

Seeing you bite on your lip as you slowly mimicked Lisa’s movements, you looked like you were enjoying yourself. This felt right to him, this made his house feel like home. 

You shivered as you crawled into bed that night, using a flashlight to see in the dark upstairs, opting to keep the lanterns downstairs for Ella and Lisa to use. Outside the wind howled and made tree branches scrape ominously against the side of the house, adding to the slightly spooky feeling that having the power out so long gave.

“Damn, it's still so cold.” You tucked yourself under the multitude of blankets covering Curtis’s bed. “You sure everyone is all good downstairs?” You asked quietly when Curtis came into the bedroom, sporting a steaming cup for you. You gratefully took it, wrapping your hands around the hot mug to warm your fingers up. 

“They are, it’s warmer down there than it is in here.” Curtis assured you, easing the door partially shut for a little privacy. 

Downstairs, Lisa ended up in the bedroom just off the kitchen which Curtis was sure to have the door open for the day to warm it up and in the living room you and Ella opened the pull-out couch, equipping it with plenty of blankets for them. 

Curtis managed to stir up the fire and refill it with wood for the next few hours just before coming up the stairs and from somewhere in the depths of the old house, you thought you felt it sigh in peace as all the occupants settled for the night. “Okay. I just wanted to be sure everyone is comfortable.” 

You sipped on the warm tea while watching Curtis hurry brushing his teeth and changing into his gray sweatpants and a hoodie. “I gave the stove a good amount of wood, it should warm up a bit more up here too.” He slipped in next to you, pulling the blankets up high around the two of you. 

You curled up closer, sliding your hands under his shirt to press against his warm chest while he wrapped an arm around you, mimicking the move against your back. “Your hands are freezing Curtis.” You whined into his hoodie. He promptly started rubbing them against your back to heat them up. 

“Better?” He rumbled sleepily and you hummed a sleepy yes. “Thank you Honey, for everything you did today. I’m sorry we didn’t get to go do that date though.” 

You lifted your head enough to look up at him, smiling up at him. “You are welcome Curtis and we have other nights to go on a date. I had a great time today.” You cuddled in closer. 

It didn’t escape Curtis’s notice that you didn’t brush off what you did today like it was nothing. You happily accepted his thanks because you deserved it. You whispered a good night, passed a quick kiss, and curled up comfortably next to him. 

It was almost pitch black in the bedroom when you were woken, the air chilly on your nose but you felt a warm breath against your ear, a press of chapped lips and the scratch of Curtis’s beard against the curve of your neck.

“Mmhh Curtis?” You muttered as you felt his hand slide under the sweater you wore to bed to keep warm. 

“Shh Pretty Girl.” He nudged at you lightly with his hips, pressing himself against you. 

Really pressed against you, you could feel him hard through the layers you both were wearing. “Our door is open and they will hear us downstairs.” 

That sent an excited little shiver to escape as he continued to kiss on whatever skin he could find. His hand moving aside your hair while he nipped at your sensitive place where your pulse fluttered in excitement. “You sure?” You gave a little throaty whine when his hand under your shirt squeezed a breast. 

“Fuck yes. You made me so fucking happy today when it could have all gone to shit, you made everyone so comfortable and feel welcomed.” He admitted to you in hushed whispers. “I thought I could ignore how much it turned me on, but I just don’t want to anymore.” 

You arched into his touch again, wriggling back against his broad chest. “That really got you this worked up?” You asked curiously. 

“Yup.” was all he muttered as his hand moved out from under your shirt and he pulled the blankets over the two of you to cocoon you underneath. You eased to your back as he pulled over the top of you, holding himself up on his elbows while he started kissing you softly, pressing his lips against yours, over and over till you both started to relax into the sensation. 

It was making your half-asleep mind go all fuzzy and warm feeling him press himself over the top of you and continue kissing you. Now his tongue slid over your teeth and pressed against your own tongue, making you both moan at the sensation of one another. Your fingers curled into his hoodie, to pull him harder against you, his hips snug against yours and rocking into you. 

“You might have to keep me quiet.” You whispered when you both broke, your head tilting back so he could once more kiss on your jaw, another moan escaping him as he rocked into your soft body once again. 

“I always got you Honey. Lift your hips.” He pulled up just a bit, enough for you to push at your sweats to work them off with his help. Under the blankets everything was muffled, the blankets keeping you both warm and snug stretched around you both. More kisses soon distracted you both for a moment, your bare legs hooking around Curtis’s thighs which were still encased in his soft worn sweats that always drove you crazy. You mumbled against his lips, panting slightly to catch your breath. 

“You still have too many clothes on Curtis.”

He tilted his head to catch your earlobe, sucking on it, his chin a sensual scrape against your neck that sent a shiver down your spine. Your hands dragged down his muscled back, tugging at his sweatshirt to pull it off to touch bare heated skin. He mimicked the action, making you lose your shirt over the edge of the bed. “Fuck.” He hissed as you ground yourself against his groin again, needing that friction. The fabric of his sweatpants rough against your sensitive clit. Your nails pushed down the last dip of his lower back and under the band to grab onto his flexing cheeks and pull him harder against you. Suddenly he shoved at his pants, pushing them low enough for his cock to spring free, needing them off now. 

You pulled up once more to kiss him, sighing against his mouth at feeling his cock press against you and he eased himself into you with a matching satisfied sigh, his weight pressing over you into the mattress. Easing your hands up to spread over his cheeks and running your thumb over his bottom lip before placing more soft kisses on his mouth, you felt his expression under your fingertips, the slight curve of his mouth pressing against yours made you smile against him.

You both kept the kisses light, brushes of lips against one another and rubbing noses while Curtis barely rocked himself against you. He rose on his elbows enough to touch his forehead to yours, his fingers burying into the hair along the side of your head while he rocked into you with soft grunts. You soaked into the feeling of him, easing your hips to meet him with a slow unrushed arch. 

It was different, no chasing and encouraging one another to finish, but just enjoying the feeling of your bodies pressing against each other. You let your hands slide down off his cheeks to the side of his neck, closing your eyes as your fingertips traced tendons flexing whenever he tensed in his movements and then down to his muscled shoulders. You sensed him shifting, the brush of his beard against your neck making you moan against his ear while his weight sunk on you. The hair of his chest tickling your breasts till he pressed against your soft body. 

You felt the groan in the hollow of your throat as he skimmed his mouth against you. “You always feel so good under me Honey.” Heat spiraled up your spine as you made yourself softer against him, your thighs rubbing up and down against the side of his hips and circling a leg to hook over his rocking ass to press him in closer. You wanted to drown in this feeling with him, make it last forever. 

His fingers tightened just enough to move your head to tilt towards him, his lips resting against yours while your gazes locked, sharing each other's soft pants. 

Thick lashes framed around his shining blue eyes, his pupils wide, searching yours while you were sure your gaze had a similar expression, except when he tilted his hips into the gentle rocking and Curtis pressed against you in a way that made you tighten around him, your eyes fluttering up as your breath hitched. “What are you thinking about Curtis?” You pondered in a whisper before pressing your mouth more to his. 

You couldn’t get enough of this intimacy you were sharing with Curtis. Sex had always been good for you two, but this felt different. You felt him everywhere and you felt just as seen, barely breaking your gazes unless some sensation rocked through one of you, making your bodies so good while embracing the sensation. 

But you two always relaxed again once it passed, sharing in the moment. 

You felt Curtis groan against you, the vibrations pressed into your chest as you rocked once more to meet him till he slowed even more. “How good this all feels.” He finally whispered against the curve of your neck where he buried his face. You thought he was talking about this moment alone and arched up into him slightly, running your hands down his back, feeling more of him, wishing you weren’t already building up to a release. “You in my home, fitting so fucking good in my life.” More kisses pressed against your pulse as he rocked back into your wanting body. 

You grabbed at the back of his head to press him closer as he kept talking. “How life just feels so sweet with you Honey.” You smiled and it felt so good to smile in this moment, when you were feeling so close with Curtis. It sent an urgency racing through you, unable to stop the sultry moan escaping as your head tipped back and you tightened around Curtis. His head lifted to watch you come undone, keeping up the slow dragged pace he was using, rubbing his hips into yours while your hot velvet heat clamped around him, the rush of your orgasm made him grin.

“Fuck you are so sexy when you come. Come on Pretty Girl, let me feel you. Just give in.” He encouraged, soft kisses pressing against your forehead and side of your face before he pulled back again to watch you. 

You rutted your chin up as you pressed back into the pillows, another moan escaping while your body broke in the softest way. You rode the high that felt like a warm wave washing over you when it passed, making you want to curl up in his hold, against his tattooed chest and soak in all of his touches that always made you feel beautiful. This wasn’t just your orgasm, it didn’t belong to you this time. 

This was his, this one belonged to him so you let him see how good it did make you feel. You let your arms circle around his neck and pull his face towards yours, letting your forehead lean into his, sharing a deeper kiss that poured all you were feeling and was so close to saying. 

Curtis watched your face meld into euphoria, which is all he ever wanted to do since the day he saw you standing on the bus steps with your students piling up behind you. You smiled so sweetly at him and he wanted more of that. He was always going to want more of that. 

Your nails raked gently up his back, your thighs pressing in closer to touch your foot against the top of his ass, pushing him down to bury in you. “I’m going to feel you for days Curtis.” You whispered with a satisfied moan. “It’s your turn. Fill me up Baby.” You begged, so sweetly with nipping kisses to his jaw and along his neck, your body arched under his, pressing all your curves he was passionate about against him. “You feel so good inside of me. I don’t want this to stop.” 

Curtis felt the rush you gave him with your words, the pull in his body to fill you with his spend was so intense, that he sped up. He grabbed your hip to keep you against him and you begged him for it till he spilled with a sharp yell of your name and he pinned you under him while warmth spread through you and he made no move to pull out. . 

You felt him relax with a groan, hugging you to him and refusing to let you move just yet. You didn't try to pull away but clung to him, both of you warm inside and out.

[dbnightingale24]

Fog In The Mind, Desire In The Heart

A Dark Curtis Everett Love Story

~~

Surprise! I decided to take a small break from the three novels I'm writing (I promise that your updates are coming!!), and finish the damn Curtis Everett one shot I promised you guys years ago. It may take me forever to get to the point, but I do eventually get there, in my defense. Anywho, this is a lot shorter than what you all are used to, but I hope you all enjoy it just the same! As always, thanks to the amazing @fuckingbyefor the moodboard! Here we go!

Word Count: 9911 (yes, you read that correctly)

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+), Slight Snowpiercer AU, Slight Age Gap between Edgar and Reader (work with me people), Curtis Everett, Daddy Kink, Non Con/Dub Con, Drinking, Plotting, Self Hate, Loathing, Betrayal, Swearing, Angst, Mild Violence, Anger, Pining...I think that's it?

Songs That Inspired This Story: I'd Walk Through Fire For You, Just Let Me Adore You

Summary: Everyone stuck in the tail section dreamed of a better life for themselves. Everyone except for Curtis. For him, his better life would start when you were happy and by his side, no matter who he had to force out of the way.

~~

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted/published elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

~~

For as much as you hate Curtis, he lives rent free in your head all day. You sit at the bar that Nam so lovingly bar tends day in and day out, listening in and out of the conversation he makes almost every night.

“Right now isn’t the time, but you’ll see...the world will be livable again. Maybe another year or so, but we’ll be able to get off of this fucking train,” he tells you tonight, an echo of the same thing he’s been saying every night for the last two years.

“What did Curtis say?” you snicker, putting your empty glass down as he reaches for your favorite poison: whiskey.

“He’s busy,” Nam simply shrugs, refilling your glass with ice and the dark brown liquid.

“When isn’t he?”

“Y/N, you know what happened to Edgar-”

“He’s gone, Nam,” you snap unintentionally. “Whatever the hell Curtis meant to happen, didn’t. Edgar has been dead for two years and all the while we wait for the great Curtis Everett to come up with a fucking plan to make all of this not seem so shit as it is,” you sigh before downing your drink.

Your reasons for hating Curtis are very simple and clear for everyone to understand.

Everyone except Curtis.

You remember when you first boarded onto the stupid train that “saved” your life. You remember them ripping you away from your Mother, who sacrificed herself so you could have a chance at life, and her promising you that she’d meet up with you later on in the train.

She never did.

You know she only did it because she knew it was the only way you’d board the train, but the anger feel towards her never leaves.

It never has and it never will. 

That was the first time you saw him.

You were put into a group of young teenage girls, a place you barely belonged since you were almost 17, and you felt a pair of eyes on you. 

It’s not like that was uncommon, but it didn’t help anything. In fact, as time went on, on the train, you found that a lot of men had their eyes on you. You were beautiful, soft spoken but also opinionated, and kind. You were so understanding and helpful, unlike almost everyone else on the train who gave up hope as soon as the doors closed.

They all did their best to make you notice them, Curtis more than most, but you were more than happy to keep to yourself. 

At least, that’s until Edgar came of age. While he was younger than you by a few years, he was persistent and the only one who could truly make you smile and laugh. For as tense and gloomy as things could be, Edgar always found a way to soften everything. The first few times he asked you out (well, too hangout on his bed), you said no because of the age difference. 

“Who cares?” he laughed as he followed you to the little hospital section they had set up in one of the train cars.

“Clearly I do!”

“It’s not that bad!”

“Edgar-”

“What could it hurt? We’ll split a protein block, a cup of water, talk a bit, and I’ll walk you back to your bunk. It’ll be fun!”

“Edgar-”

“You know you want to, I see it in your eyes.”

“No Edgar,” you smiled softly before making your way to the children’s bunks to read them a story.

“You’ll say yes, you’ll see!” he called with a soft smile, before he turned and made his way back to his bunk.

After that, he didn’t let up. He asked almost every day until you finally caved and said yes. From that moment on, you two inseparable (after you both finished your daily chores). You loved to spend time reading to the children and he was more than happy to accompany you. The kids loved him anyway.

“What do you think about us having one?” Edgar asked one night as you two laid together after sex.

“Having one what?”

“Child?”

“Fuck no!”

“Shh,” he laughed softly, stroking your hair. “Why not?”

“You can’t be serious, babe. We live on a fucking train, the shittiest part of the train I might add, the world is frozen, the front end comes and randomly takes children whenever they please-”

“It won’t always be like this, plus, Curtis has a plan.”

“Oh? What plan is that?” you scoffed

Edgar had always been Curtis’ biggest supporter.

“Why don’t you believe in him?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe in him, but I’m not willing to follow blindly behind him. Everyone else is, and I just don’t see a reason to,” you shrugged.

“Y/N-”

“You asked me a question and I gave you an answer. It’s not my fault that you don’t like the answer, baby.”

Curtis had always been the one thing that got in the way of your relationship with Edgar. Edgar would willingly follow Curtis, no matter what he said or what he did, and you weren’t buying into any of it. Sure, Curtis seemed nice enough and he was kind when he wanted to be, but there was also a silent anger to him. A silent anger that always seemed like it could go off at any time. 

Plus, it’s not exactly like he was thrilled when you and Edgar started seeing each other. Once again, a lot of the men weren’t, but everyone could see how happy you were. How well you and Edgar fit together. Curtis, on the other hand, rolled his eyes whenever he saw the two of you together. 

“Why don’t you come and help us tonight? You always have an idea-”

“No,” you laughed and Edgar scowled. “That’s your thing, not mine.”

“If you’d come, you’d see there’s nothing to hate about-”“I don’t hate Curtis!” you snapped softly and he rolled his eyes, “I just...something isn’t right there. You all just follow and believe everything that he says, and that’s not okay.”

“You always find a reason to doubt him and hes never given you a reason to.”

“And hes never given you a reason to trust him so much!”

“I’m not having another argument about this-”

“Good, because I’m tired of him somehow always becoming the center of our relationship.”

“Y/N-”

“You’re gonna be late. Go.”

You hated arguing so much with him about Curtis, but he didn’t know the things that you knew about him. Besides the fact that his eyes always lingered on you for far much longer than they should have, you knew about the things that Edgar was too young to remember. You knew what happened to his Mother, you knew what almost happened to Edgar, and you knew that Curtis would stop at nothing to get what he wanted.

Besides, by the way he watched you like you were his prey, you knew he’d stop at nothing to get you. So, when it was finally time for the “great uprising” you begged Edgar to stay behind with you.

“We’ve spent too long planning and plotting for me to stay behind-”

“You can stay with me!” you sobbed and he shook his head.

“Trust me! Believe in me! I can do this!”

“Edgar-”

“We’ll have a future, children, space-”

“I just want you! Please-”

“I’ll come back to you and you’ll see. I promise you, it’ll be okay. I love you.”

That was the last time you saw him alive.

When word got back to you how he’d been killed, and who let it happen, something inside you snapped. You became violent, you lost all patience, you attacked anyone who got in your way as you started on your own journey to the front, and you led everyone who had stayed behind to the front of the train with you. By the time you got there, Wilford had been killed and Curtis was the new leader. Of course, no one noticed all of the changes in Curtis’ attitude, as if you all owed him your lives, because he’d apparently made your lives better. He made changes that made years of suffering finally seem like they had been worth something. 

Everyone except you.

“Curtis wants to see you,” one of the girls tells you as she approaches the bar. 

Sansa, who’s his regular girl. 

“Just give him time,” Nam repeats softly, filling your glass one last time. 

You roll your eyes and down your drink before you follow Sansa to the very front of the train.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been called to his bedroom. Hell, it isn’t even the 100th time. Not long after the battle ended and changes were made, Curtis Everette made it very well known to everyone on the train, that you are his absolute favorite. Not so much with his words, but with his actions. He’d made it seem as if it were out of honor for Edgar, but the way he watched you let you know that, that was bullshit. No, he never called you into his bed, but he also made sure to never let you get close to another man again.

He made sure you never had to work, you never wanted for anything, you always had fresh clothes waiting for you, and you had one of the best rooms on the train. 

“Edgar sacrificed his life so you could have a better one. It only makes sense that you have the best of everything,” he whispered the night that he’d helped you settle into your new room.

In return, you’ve made it known that you’ll always despise him.

“What?” you snap the second you step foot inside his room.

He looks at you with his bourbon shot eyes, and you scoff. He’s in one of his moods.

“You could be a little nicer to me, Y/N.”

“Everyone on this train is nice enough to you. Now, what do you want? What’s the point of giving me a room if you never actually let me stay in it.”

“What’s wrong with you today?” he sneers, pouring himself another drink.

“You’re still here and Edgar isn’t.”

“Edgar made his choice-”

“Edgar worshiped you and blindly followed you into battle, and you couldn’t give less of a shit about what happened to him.”

“That’s not true!”

You scoff and narrow your eyes at him, “then why do you call me here every fucking night?”

“I’ve never done anything-”

“I know you’re not drunk enough to lie to me,” you warn with a snarl.

No, technically Curtis has never done anything to you, but hes found ways to...mess with you. 

He’s had you stay in the rooms while hes fooled around with other women, sometimes multiple at once, if he gets drunk enough, he watches you bathe and get dressed, hes gone out of his way to show you just how badly he wants you, and he never lets you stay away from him for too long. No, he’s never forced himself on you and taken you, but hes always been just a few steps away from doing so.

With Edgar out of the way, he’s free to do whatever he pleases.

However, the problem is, Curtis wants you to want him. He wants you to burn for him just as bad as he burns for you. At one point, that would’ve been possible. It was never that you found him unattractive or unapproachable, something just always seemed...off. Now that, that’s been confirmed, you’re repulsed by the man.

Even if you do still find him painfully attractive.

A sick smirk comes to his face as he makes his way over to you, “I’ve never done anything that haven’t found yourself enjoying.” “Yes, because I love spending my nights watching fuck other women.”

“Could be you.”

“You can let go of that dream. If it never happened before, it sure as fuck isn’t gonna happen now.”

Without warning, he’s gripping your neck tight and forcing you against the wall, and you do your best to ignore the fluttering feeling in your stomach.

“You can pretend all you want to, but I know how bad you want it. I hear you at night when you think I’m asleep. The pathetic little moans and whimpers, and your desperate begging.”

Your eyes go wide and he chuckles darkly.

“You’re not as slick as you think, honey.”

“It’s not for you, so don’t go getting a big ego.” “It sure as shit isn’t for Edgar, even when you were fucking him regularly. He could never truly satisfy you. Not in the way you needed.” “You’re a bastard!”

“How many times did you picture me every time he fucked you, hmm? How many times do you picture me when you’re alone in that cozy little room of yours?”

You don’t know what the hell has gotten into him, because he’s never been this forceful with you before.

“Never!”

“You should be thanking me,” he growls, his grip on your neck getting tighter as he leans in close. “Maybe I should stop being so fucking nice to you and just take it.” “Don’t you fucking dare!”

“What will you do, huh? The only crying you’ll be doing is when I’m done with you and you’re begging for more of my cock.”

Of all the fucking times to be turned on.

“Curtis-”

“You fucking want it,” he continues, “even now, I know that little pussy is crying to be touched. To fucked until it’s ruined!”

You push him off of you and glare at him.

“Admit it! You orchestrated all of this so you could-”

“He knew what he was getting himself into! He knew the chance he was taking-”

“He trusted you!”

“That was his fault!”

There it is.

“So you admit it!”

“I’d do it again! Why did he deserve you but I didn’t?! I still don’t?! After all I’ve done for you?!”

“You’re monster!”

“Sticks and stones,” he smirks before pressing you against the wall again. “Maybe I should show you just how much of a monster I am.”

His lips are on yours and when you try to push him off of you, he doubles down on his efforts. Squeezing at the stitches in his other arm, he hisses in pain, dropping his glass and backs up for just a moment. He slaps you hard before going in for another kiss, but you’re quick to knee him in the groin.

“Bitch!”

You’re quick to run out and make your way to room, not sure of where else there is to hide, and before you can slide the door close, he’s pushing you in and slamming it shut behind him.

“Get out!”

“Get on the fucking bed!” “Curtis-”

“Fine, you want this to be rough? I can be as rough as you want me to be, baby,” he promises as he locks the door.

“HELP!”

“No one is going to go against me, no one is going to save you, and no one is gonna feel bad for you. Scream all you fucking want, they’ll know you’re just enjoying it,” he promises with a sinister smile.

Seeing no other way out of this, you rush him against the wall and just start hitting him with all the power you have in your body.

“I’ve never had to work for it,” he taunts, easily pushing you back. “Never had to make a bitch admit just how bad she wants me!”

“I hate you! I want nothing to do with you!”

“Is that what you’d tell yourself every time you’d make eye contact with me while he was fucking you? Looking down at me as he fucked up into you, telling you just how much he loves and adores you?” he counters, easily wrapping an arm around your waist, easily throwing you down on the bed. “When you knew I was getting off to your hushed moans? You didn’t want anything to do with me then either? You didn’t want me making you scream?”

You hate that he has a point because, to an extent, you did want one him at one point. You wanted him bad. It’s part of why you’d turn down Edgar so many times. No, you never had any intention of pursuing Curtis, but you were attracted to him. Far more than you were to Edgar, and you felt incredibly guilty about it. You would’ve been content to be alone, but Edgar never relented and you eventually found it cute.

Of course you knew what Curtis was doing whenever the two of you locked eyes, but you truly never thought he’d let Edgar get killed so he could get you. The worst part of it is, even now that you know the truth of it all, you still want Curtis. In some sick way, the fact that he did something so horrible just to have you all to himself drove you insane in the worst way. You aren’t losing the fight because he’s overpowering you, you’re losing the fight because you’re tired of fighting it.

“Don’t get quiet on me now,” he snickers as pulls his top off and throws it across the room. “Don’t tell me that you’re a filthy little liar,” he presses as he rips your top open.

“Leave me alone!” “No, I’m done waiting around,” he husks, pulling your bra down. “Fuck!”

“Curtis-”

“You’re gonna shut the fuck up and you’re gonna enjoy everything daddy has to offer you,” he warns before dipping down and enveloping his right breast in his mouth; lewdly licking and sucking on it in the most depraved way.

“O-oh! Curtis!”

It’s been so long since you’ve been touched by anyone else.

“That’s right,” he mumbles before nipping on your nipple, while his other hand works on undoing your jeans, “I know exactly what you need, you little bitch.”

Your breathing comes heavier as his hand makes its way down into your panties, finding your overstimulated bundle of nerves.

“You’re fucking soaked!”

“Stop-”

“Stop fucking fighting me!” he warns, his other hand making it’s way around your throat. “You fucking want it! You’ve always fucking wanted it!”

You’re not sobbing because he’s doing something wrong, you’re sobbing because he’s right. Edgar would probably be alive if you’d just kept saying no to him.

“That’s right, baby. Just let me take care of you,” he moans, easily sliding a finger into you.

“Curtis,” you moan, bucking your hips forward.

“So beautiful, baby,” he coos, finally giving your other nipple attention, “waited so fucking long!”

“Oh fuck!”

You do your best to block out all images of Edgar and every feeling of guilt you felt. For whatever reason, Curtis wasn’t letting you go tonight and you didn’t want him to.

“You can barely take two fingers,” he groans, adding another thick finger to your sopping cunt as you rake your nails across his back. “Gonna have to get you ready for me. God, these fucking tits!” he husks.

“Please!” you whimper, feeling both pleasure and pain at the way he’s pulling you apart, “don’t fucking stop!”

“We’re gonna be at this a while,” he promises with a smirk as he picks up his pace. 

He resumes his assault on your left nipple for just a bit longer, before he finally starts leaving a trail of sloppy wet kisses down your body, pulling your pants down along the way. 

You’ve never had a guy go down on you before. Before you’d been put on the train, you’d only had sex twice and the both of you were inexperienced. When you were with Edgar, you two weren’t free to explore much. The most you’d been able to do was give him a blowjob, even that was uncomfortable.

“So fuckin’ pretty for me,” Curtis purrs against your pussy lips, “been waitin’ for me.”

The first lick is just a tease and you whine in protest, the second is right against your clit and whine his name as you dig your nails into his shoulders, and with the third he’s finally diving right in and claiming you as his own with his tongue.

“Oh God! Don’t fucking stop!” you beg pathetically, your legs starting to tremble as he massages your clit with his thumb. “Fuck!”

The sounds of his of his pornographic moans and roughness of his beard on your thighs somehow make you even more feral, and you can’t resist looking down. The sight of him buried between your legs has you biting on your bottom lip to keep from screaming. As if he can sense your feral gaze on him, you he looks up with a devilish glint in his ocean blue eyes, which have now darkened with twinges of desire and lust, as he starts fucking you faster with his tongue.

Your mouth hangs open and you’re right on the edge when he removes his tongue.

“What the fuck?!” you cry out and he chuckles darkly.

“I shouldn’t fucking let you cum at all,” he bites as he thrusts two fingers inside of you, causing you to buck your hips forward, “but I’m gonna get this tight little pussy ready for me,” he promises again.

The intrusion of a third finger has you throwing your head back in both pleasure and pain, and you try to push his hand away.

“None of that, fucking take it! Take it and then you’re gonna take my fucking cock,” he demands gruffly, applying more pressure to your clit with his thumb.

“Ngh- too much! Curtis please!”

“Then fucking cum! What, you don’t know how? Was it really that bad with him?” he taunts with a condescending chuckle.

You shouldn’t clench around his fingers the way you do at that.

“Not such a fucking saint after all, huh? Just a hungry little cock whore. Say it,” he demands lowly.

Biting down on your lip to keep quiet, you shake your head ‘no’.

Slapping one of your tits hard, he repeats, “say it!”

“ ‘m a cock whore!” you cry out, squirting hard and coating his wrist.

That’s new.

“Jesus fuck,” he growls.

He fucks you through your high, lapping up the mess you made, while you try to come down from your high. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know how wrong all of this is, but you can’t focus on that right now. The pleasure is all consuming, and you can’t think on anything other than how much you want Curtis.

How, in some dark and twisted way, you’ve always wanted Curtis.

The sound of him unzipping his pants brings you back to reality, and you know you’re going to hate yourself in the morning. Hell, you hate yourself now. 

“Don’t ever make me fight this fucking hard for you again, you understand me?” he warns, kicking his jeans and boxers off of him and your bed.

You watch him with wide eyes and it’s as if he can read your mind.

“Don’t you dare try and fucking run from me now. You’re mine, you’ve always been mine, and you’ll always be mine.”

He takes his angry red cock in his hand, stoking it a few times, before dipping down and kissing you like you’d finally been returned to him after years of being held captive. The taste of you and whiskey mix together perfectly, intoxicating you, and you moan into his mouth, as both of your tongues fight for dominance.

“You are mine,” he broods once you two break apart as he spears himself inside of you.

“Shit!”

He lets out a strangled groan, “gonna make you feel better than you ever have before!”

He’s relentless as he fucks into you, knowing exactly what you need as you trail kisses down his neck. 

“Y/N,” he whines when you find that spot on the crook of his neck, biting down on it hard before using your tongue to soothe the pain. “Fuck! What a good girl,” he praises and you flutter around his cock. “My pretty girl likes that? Being my good fuckin girl?”

You’ve never been so full in your life and the only response you can muster is a pathetic moan, sucking even harder on his neck. 

“That’s right, baby. Mark me up...make sure they know I’m yours,” he growls, using one hand to pin your waist down, while the other pins your hands down to the bed above your head.

You don’t even care that he’s using you as his own personal rag doll, because you need it. You both need it. So many years of anger, frustration, and denial have finally come to a head, and it feels good.

It feels so fucking good.

“Oh God! Daddy!” you cry out, wrapping a leg around his waist as he finds a spot within you that you didn’t even know existed.

“Fuck, there it is!”

“Too much!”

“No it’s not, you’re gonna make a mess for me again,” he demands as his movements start to become erratic. 

The hand he’s using to pin your waist to the bed travels down between the both of you, and you let out a choked sob as he starts to massage your clit.

“So beautiful, baby. Love you so fucking much,” he grunts, and you’re not sure if he means you or your pussy.

Your mind is so full of fog that you truly don’t give a fuck.

You turn your head away as you feel the knot in your core tighten and he whines, “look at me...waited so long, let me see you, baby. C’mon...let daddy see you come apart.”

Forcing your gaze on him, there’s something equally soft in his feral blue eyes, and you know you’re done for. No matter what you feel in the morning, you’ll want this again and again.

You’ll want him again and again.

A silent scream leaves your mouth as your orgasm washes over you, the leg around his waist falling to the side as you make a mess between the both of you.

“That’s a good girl...milk my fat fuckin’ cock, baby,” he groans, resting his forehead against yours as he paints your inner walls with his love.

Well, you’ve fucking done it now. 

He peppers soft kisses from your forehead to your cheek, as he rides out both of your highs, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he finally releases your arms. When he finally stills within you, half hard, you let your arms fall to your sides and close your eyes, feeling more full and desired than ever before.

Feeling more guilt than you ever have before.

You’re almost asleep when you hear, “clean daddy off, honey. We’re just getting started.”

He chuckles when he looks down at the confused look on your face.

“I told you: we’re gonna be at this for a while.”

You’re not sure what the hell has gotten into him, and why he’s so forceful tonight, but he keeps you up for hours in positions you’ve never even dreamed of. Exhausting your body over and over again, his lips covering every inch of your body that they can, and his hands exploring every part of you. It feels like heaven, and there’s a pitiful shame that washes over you with each orgasm. You lose count of how many times he tells you he loves you, and how perfect he thinks you are for him, and soon you’re just a mindless doll ready and willing to do anything he wants. You’ll give him anything as long as he continues to lessen the embarrassment that’s come with you finally giving yourself to him.

“That’s it, baby,” he grunts from behind as you lull your head back, “ride daddy’s dick just like that. Like a fucking cowgirl!”

“Ngh!”

“I know you’re tired,” he coos against your neck, his beard making you shutter as he strarts groping your breasts with both hands, “gonna fill your perfect little pussy one more time, I promise!”

The thought of you leaking with his release again has you clenching around him.

“You love being so full of me, don’t you?”

You just nod as you grip his thick thighs, digging your nails into them.

“I know, baby. Just needed daddy to show you who’s boss, didn’t you? Too ashamed to accept what I was so willing to give you,” he moans, kissing your neck as one of his hands travels between your thighs.

“DADDY!”

“So loud for me and I fucking love it! You’d never be this fuckin’ loud for him, would you?”

You lazily shake your head ‘no’.

“Didn’t deserve you...he couldn’t make you happy like I can. Like I always will,” he promises as he slaps your cunt.

That’s all it takes. You scream his name as your body spasms and you make a mess for what feels like the millionth time. He pulls you close, filling you to the brim, as your body relaxes against his.

“What a good girl,” he praises softly, his own breathing shallow as he guides your waist to ride out both of your orgasms.

You’ve never been so exhausted in your life.

You honestly have no control over your body at this point, so Curtis has to guide you off of him and onto the bed. You flinch when you feel some sort of fabric between your legs, cleaning you up.

“I know you’re sensitive, just a few more moments, baby,” he coos.

Well, he’s certainly much happier now that you’re a useless and mindless mess.

You feel the bed dip from behind you as he gets in, pulling the cover over the both of you before pulling you close to him. The fight that’s left in you isn’t enough to kill an ant. Instead, you just relax against him as you drift off into unconsciousness, hoping that all of this is just a very strong dream crafted from loneliness and desire.  

The last thing you hear before you succumb to darkness is, “I love you.”

~~

“Y/N,” a soft voice calls as a pair of hands shake your gently.

You blink a few times, coming back to reality and trying to separate your dreams from reality.

“Y/N? Curtis wants to see you in his room.”

Curtis.

All of a sudden the pain in your face and body catapult you back into reality. Shame washes over you, as well as an intense amount of guilt, and you curl into yourself. God, how could you give into him? How could you get off to some of the cruel and lewd things he said? What the fuck is wrong with you?

“Y/N? Did you hear me? Curtis-”

“No,” you respond softly, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself.

“He told me not to take ‘no’ for an answer,” the woman responds mournfully.

You say nothing, silently crying to yourself and wishing you were anywhere else. Wishing you could get away from your one true forbidden desire.

“Y/N, please,” the woman begs.

It’s not lost on you that she’ll more than likely have hell to pay, but you can’t face him. The more memories come flooding back, the more you want to the train to swallow you whole. To add insult to injury, arousal pools between your legs as desire takes over your body. What the hell came over the both of you last night, and why did you let it win? There was a time that you would’ve fought till the last breath in your body to keep Curtis off of you, but last night, you barely put up that much of a fight. You didn’t want to.

You hear your drawers open and what you assume are clothes landing on your bed, and you just pull the cover over your head. He got what he wanted out of you, so why can’t he leave you alone? What else could he want from you?

‘I love you.’

There’s no possible way he could’ve meant that. He was drunk. He treats every other woman on this train like his own personal pleasure toy, so what makes you any different? So special?

“What did I tell you last night about making me fight for you?”Curtis sighs as he walks into your room, closing the door shut behind him.

You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t even heard the woman leave.

  When you say nothing, he pulls the cover from you, “come on, Y/N. Don’t make me get forceful.”

You just pull your legs tighter to yourself and cry harder.

“What?”

“Please...just go away.”

“Y/N-” “You did it on purpose, Curtis. He loved you and you just...”

“You didn’t seem to mind that confession so much last night.”

“Which makes me just as awful as you if not worse,” you sob, once again realizing just how terrible you are. 

Edgar loved you unconditionally and you let the man responsible for his death fuck you like a beast, willingly giving him orgasm after orgasm.

“Honey,” Curtis tries to reason, going to touch your arm, but you pull away.

It’s insane how you can long for and hate someone’s touch so much at the same time.

Letting out another frustrated sigh, he pulls the cover back over your body and steps away, “fine.”

You can hear the pain in his voice, but he should feel like garbage. You both should. The sliding door to your room opens and closes again, and you’re finally on your own again. As you continue to cry, you if you’ll ever know peace again. If you aren’t, how long will it take you to allow yourself the comfort of Curtis?

Curtis’ P.O.V.

What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s not the first time I’ve gotten drunk and tormented you, but to attack you like that? Confess the truth in such a condescending way? Of course you want nothing to do with me now that the fog has cleared. Yes, what I did was fucked up, but I’ve been right about you since day one.

You wanted me all along.

It’s not like I didn’t care for Edgar, and he deserved more from me, but he didn’t deserve you. Watching him with you was like a knife to the chest every day. Hearing your moans and whimpers every night that he was inside you? Those were mine. They were for me. That’s why you always kept your eyes focused on me. You knew it just as well as I did. Maybe you’re the real monster in all of this, because you used him just as much as I envied him. 

You weren’t happy, you were never going to leave him, so I took charge. I didn’t expect for any of it to work out like it did, but it did nonetheless. I figured if I gave you enough time and space, you’d come to me, but my patience could only last so long. Venting to Nam night after night only helped so much. 

Two fucking years.

Two years of me watching you, two years of me making every other man on board afraid to get close to you, two years of me being a lesser version of myself...two years and you still never cracked. I have a fucking train to take care of, I couldn’t keep spending all of my time and energy just trying make you jealous enough to give him.

I was all set to let it go and let you do whatever the hell you wanted, until I walked past your train cart yesterday morning.

“Fuck Curtis...fuck me just like that,” you whimpered so softly, I thought I imagined it.

Looking into your room made me cum instantly. You were completely naked, eyes closed, head lulled back, and riding your pillow. You’d never looked so fucking hot before, and that was my name leaving your mouth. Not Edgar’s, mine. I no longer needed you to fucking say you were mine, but you’d just confirmed it.

“Gonna cum so soon, daddy! Fuck!”

I couldn’t get it out of my mind, and my frustration wouldn’t leave my body. Why the hell were you fighting something you so desperately wanted? 

Because you’re not a monster at all.

Even without my confession, you’d always known the truth. I could’ve saved Edgar, but I didn’t. I made a million excuses as to why I couldn’t, and everyone believed them. Everyone except you. Of course you wouldn’t allow yourself to be with me. Not without force. So, after I finished up everything I needed to take care, I got drunk. I had planned on being level headed, but you came in with that fucking attitude, and I fucking lost it.

How the hell were you annoyed with me? I made sure you had the best life, and you were still ungrateful. Once again, I could’ve saved Edgar, but you wouldn’t have left him. You would’ve married him and had his fucking his kids, and what right did he have to you? What right do any of the guys on this hell hole have to you? None of them will ever love you like I do, they’re not gonna satisfy you like I do, and they’re never gonna care for you like I do.

You just needed to be shown, so I decided that I was done waiting. I knew you’d put up a fight, but I didn’t expect it to get me so worked up. I didn’t mean to hit you so hard, but you were being difficult. Squeezing the stitches in my arm? You knew better than that. It wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped, but when you finally surrendered, it was more than worth it. You were a fucking dream, better than anything I’d ever had or imagined.

How could I feel bad about Edgar when I finally had you right where I wanted you? Where I’d always wanted you. I didn’t have to say all of things I did, but we both knew they were true. You’d always wanted me, he’d never truly satisfied you, and you’d always wanted me. Whatever your reasons were for choosing him over me didn’t matter anymore, because you finally admitted everything. Yeah, it bothered me that you never said ‘I love you’ back, but I also know I can’t have everything I want at once. I know you do, and when you’re ready, you’ll admit that too. 

“She’s not here,” Nam says softly, pulling me out of my thoughts as he enters.

“No, she’s back to hating me,” I mutter with an eye roll. “I did everything wrong.”

“Did you explain?”

“Nope, I did the exact opposite. I took what I wanted and expected her to fall in line.”

He lets out an irritated sigh as he runs a hand through his hair, “Curtis.”

“Yeah, I fucking know, alright?”

“What now?”

“I’ll go back and see her tonight. I’ll talk to her. She loves me, she just needs some encouragement to see it. To admit it.”

“Be gentle, Curtis. You get angry and you don’t think.”

He’s not wrong.

“Did you hurt her?”

“We both hurt each other, but it’s not like she didn’t like it.”

“Is that what happened to your arm?” he asks, pointing to the bruise.

I scoff with a nod, “yeah, little devil.”

“She’s tough, I’ll give her that,” he laughs, taking Kronole out of his pocket.

“Will you stop with that shit?!”

“You beat women, I get high,” he shrugs.

“I don’t beat women,” I quickly counter, trying to keep a lid on my anger.

I really didn’t mean to hit you so fucking hard. Fuck.

He just rolls his eyes, “Should I send Yona to look after her?”

“No, we have work to do and we need Yona and her ability. I’ll send one of the girls to check on her and give her food.”

I know I should be the one to do it but with how you were this morning, I know we’re basically right back where we started.

“Curtis, should I send for Y/N again?” Sansa asks, poking her head in, disdain dripping into her words.

I can see the pain in her eyes, but I can’t bring myself to feel bad. She may be a regular, but she always knew she wasn’t permanent. All of them know. 

“I’ll see to her later. Make sure no one comes in except Yona,” I instruct dismissively.

“Yes sir.”

Yeah, I’m an asshole, but I’m an asshole who’s in love with and made better by you. The sooner you see that, the sooner things will be as they should. In time, you’ll see.

In time, you’ll understand.

~~

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Here, take mine,” a deep soft voice told you.

You looked over to your right to see that Curtis had taken a seat next to you, and he was holding out his protein block.

You shook your head and pushed it away, “oh no, it’s perfectly fine-”

“You’re hungry-”

“What will you eat?”

“I don’t like the way they taste,” he shrugged.

You laughed to yourself, “no one likes the way they taste.”

“Won’t haunt you like the taste of human flesh though.”

He had a point there.

“Go on, take it,” he offered again.

“You have to eat something. We’re all barely hanging on as it is.”

“Y/N-”

You offered him a half smile, “we can split it.”

He contemplated your offer before he nodded, “deal.”

You miss that Curtis. The one who showed remorse for his actions, cared about those around him, and was actually trying to help everyone and not just himself. Ever since Gilliam took him under his wing, there was an heir of arrogance to him, and it made you want him that much less. It got worse after Edgar got killed and Gilliam soon followed.

God, how could you still fuck him after his confession? If anything, that should’ve made you fight harder. Instead, in a sick way, it turned you on even more because it showed you just how much he wanted you. How much he’d do to make sure you’d always be his and his alone. 

Maybe being on the train for so damn long that it’s fucked with you more than you thought, or maybe you’re just that awful.

The servers have been trying to feed you all day, but the only thing you’ve consumed is alcohol. It’s the only thing that’ll keep demons and thoughts of self-hatred at bay. Plus, for as much as you shouldn’t, you do feel bad for Curtis. The man told you he loves you a handful of times last night, brought you to euphoric bliss time and time again, and you let him hold you close last night, just so you could ice him out today.

As much as you don’t want to believe that the mad man loves you, somewhere deep down inside, you know it’s true. A man doesn’t let the closest person he has to a best friend die over someone he doesn’t love. Yes, you knew Edgar could get on his nerves sometimes, but never enough for Curtis ever want something truly awful to happen to him. It’s not like you ever meant for things to become a sick and twisted games, but they had and the end result was the sweetest man you’d ever known getting killed.

All of this was your fault.

“You haven’t eaten today,” a soft voice rings out, stepping into your room.

“Please go, Curtis. You got what you wanted. Just go, I’m sure Sansa and the others will be happy to keep you company tonight.”

He sits down in front of you and takes your face in his hands, “I don’t love Sansa and the others.”

“Curtis-”

“Why have you been crying all day?”

You’re more than sure the look on your face screams, ‘really?’.

“It’s not like it was something you didn’t already know-”

“Stop being so fucking callous about it!”

“Why? I’d do it again, honey. I have no problem admitting that. If I had to do it all over again, I would without hesitation.”

“What the fuck is the matter with you?!”

“I love you, Y/N. I think I’ve made that pretty clear for some time now, and I’m not going to watch you be with some other man. I don’t give a fuck who that man is.”

“You can literally have whoever else you want-”

You yelp when he effortlessly picks you up and pulls you into his lap.

“The world could be the way it’s supposed to be and I still wouldn’t want anyone else. You were meant for me and I was meant for you. If people have to die for you to understand that, then so be it. I will never love anyone the way I love you, so stop thinking that this is just some fling to me,” he warns, his gaze on you tense and serious.

His words should make you afraid of him but, instead, they make you want him more than you did the night before.

“You don’t-”

“Who else do you want me to make disappear, hmm? How do I make you believe me?”

“Curtis...stop.”

“I love you.”

“That’s not love-”

“Why should I go about this the normal way? We’ve all had to fight to stay here, and I’m willing to fight for you. I will always fight for you because you’re mine, just like I’m yours. I love you.”

For now, you’ll just blame the alcohol as you lean in and kiss him softly. Just like the night before, he runs one of his hands through your hair and grips it tight as he deepens the kiss, his other arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you as close as possible.

He broods against your lips once you two break apart, “that’s right, baby. You’ll always be mine.”

“This isn’t right-” “Who gives a fuck about right and wrong when it feels this fucking good?”

“Curtis...”

“Just give into me,” he pleads before kissing you again, “give into me because you love me just as much as I love you.”

Once again, the fight leaves your body and you’re just giving into what you want. You kiss him deeply as your legs wrap around his waist, grinding against him. 

“That’s it honey,” he breathes with a moan, the tip of his nose ghosting over the outline of your cheek. “I won’t take anything you don’t wanna give me. Just like last night.”

You know good and damn well he’s saying that because last night he did force himself on you, but you both knew you were desperate for it. You both know you’ve been desperate for him for a while. It’s evident that he wants you to acknowledge that, but he’s gonna need to work a little harder for that. 

“If you truly love me, then show me,” you sigh as he bites and sucks on your neck. “Show me how much you need me to be yours.”

You must have awakened something feral in him because, instantly, he’s picking you up and standing up with almost no effort at all, and carrying you out of your room, quickly make his way towards his. Part of you wants to protest, because you’ve seen what he’s done with other women in his bed, but another part of you is desperate for it because it is his bed. Anyone else who was on it before you won’t ever matter again, because you’re all he needs.

He growls as he tosses you onto his bed, “take your fucking shirt off before I rip it off.”

You honestly don’t need much prompting. Between the amount of alcohol coursing through you, and the desire that you’ve been suppressing for years, you’re once again willing and ready to do anything that he wants. You whimper when he pulls his off and tosses it to the side, quickly getting to work on undoing his pants.

Yeah, you’re still sore from yesterday, but the pleasure always outweighs. You’ll take aspirin after.

“I thought I already fucking showed you,” he husks roughly, fitting your legs around his waist once on the bed and on his haunches. “I didn’t get my point across last night?”

You bite your lip and shake your head no, holding his gaze as you wrap your arms around him. 

He smirks as that devilish glint comes back to his eyes, “let me be firmer this time,” forcing you down on his cock.

“AH SHIT!”

He keeps a firm hold on your waist as he starts bouncing you up and down on his cock, “you’re mine, Y/N. Always have been and you always will be!”

You cry out as you lull your head back, “oh fuck, daddy!”

“Eyes on me, baby. Gonna make sure it sinks in this time,” he chuckles darkly.

Honestly, all you can do is hold on to him, and he doesn’t even make that easy. He spits on your cunt a few times before easily wrapping one arm behind your waist to keep you in place, and shamelessly slapping your clit with the other hand.

“Please....please!”

His condescending chuckle only makes you clench around him, “fucking pathetic.”

He dips down, the tip of his tongue lightly licking between your breasts and moaning as he licks up the sweat, before latching his mouth onto your right nipple and sucking on it as if it’s his favorite lollipop to exist.

You whimper, feeling safe in his strong hold, as you run a hand through his buzzed hair, “feels so good, daddy! The way you love me feels so good!”

Releasing your nipple with a ‘pop’, he looks up with brooding dark eyes, “and no one else will ever make it feel this good,” he promises.

Without warning, he starts massaging your clit with more pressure than you’re prepared for, and you’re screaming out his name as you make a mess between the both of you.

“So messy and all mine,” he praises, his voice strained as continues to fuck up into you. “Always been all mine, haven’t you?”

Once again, you’ve been turned into a mindlessly babbling toy.

“No answer?” he taunts, his breathing as he stops all together, laughing sadistically at your pathetic whimper. “Guess daddy still hasn’t made his point clear.”

He drops you down onto the bed, flips you over with ease, fixes your knees so your ass is propped in the air, before thrusting himself inside of you again.

“Aht!”

“You’ve always been mine, haven’t you?” he growls, fucking into hard and fast.

You just whimper into his pillow as claw at his bed, but he isn’t having that. Wrapping one arm around your waist and snaking it up between your breasts, he grips your throat while the other hand grips your hair tight, and he pulls you right.

“Use your fucking words,” he demands gruffly, fucking into you harder, “you’ve always been mine?”

“Y-yes!”

“Yes who?”

“Y-yes...y-y-yes daddy!”

“Always gonna be mine?”

“A-an-anything you w-want!”

He growls into your neck as you feel him spill into you, “fuck baby!”

Once again, there’s nothing going through your mind but fog and your body is exhausted. If he wants more from you, you’ll give it to him, but you can honestly fall asleep in his hold right now. He loosens his grip on your neck, and you take a deep breath, not even realizing how tight he’d been holding onto you. Lazily fucking you both through your high, he presses small, wet, open mouthed kisses along your neck.

His breath comes heavy and he sounds just as tired as you feel, “get the message this time?”

You nod as weakly attempt to fight off sleep, “mhm, you love me.”

The next question comes with a hint of fear, “do you believe me?”

“Mhm, yes.”

“Do you love me?”

The answer comes effortlessly, “yes Curtis.”

He’s gentle with you as he pulls out, growling as he watches the mix of your juices run down your thighs, and he lays you down. Once again, you wince when some fabric gently wipes over your extremely raw and sensitive flesh, and he gently hushes you. This time, when he gets in bed with you, you’re pulling him close and resting your head on his chest.

You’re too tired to fight it.

“I love you,” you repeat before effortlessly falling asleep.

~~

Once again, when you make up, you need a moment to adjust to your surroundings. The soreness is quicker to make your acquaintance this time, and you remember that you’re in Curtis’ room.

The very front of the train.

That’s when you realize you’re alone in his bed, and you’re slow to sit up and look around.

“I’m here,” he calls softly.

You look to the side and see him sitting across the room, sweatpants on only, hunched over, and resting his head on his hands.

“You should lay back down, I’m sure you’re sore.”

You keep your eyes on him as you slowly lay back down, “what’s wrong?”

He’s not wrong about you being sore. 

“Nothing-”

Scoffing as you prop yourself up on your elbow and rest your head on your hand, “you’re gonna start lying to me after the last two days we’ve spent together?” and he laughs softly.

“It doesn’t matter right now-”

“Curtis, what’s wrong?”

There’s a softness to his features, and it’s a softness you haven’t seen in a long time.

“I love you.”

You look down and play with the hem of the bed sheet.

“That’s the problem right there.”

“Curtis-” He sighs as he sits up, “I’m not complaining.”

“It’s not so easy for me, okay?”

“It was last night when you were drunk, and I fucking knew better. I knew better, but my emotions...” “There’s a lot that I have to come to terms with, and I’ve only had two days to do it.”

“Well, do you?” “Curtis-”

“It’s a simple yes or no question-”

“It’s not simple! I was with Edgar, and no matter how I may or may not have always felt about you, I did love him and you let him get killed. No, I’m not innocent in all of this, but he loved and trusted him and you betrayed him.”

“That was different-” “How? How am I supposed to know you won’t ever do something like that to me?”

“Because this is different! This isn’t even remotely close...since I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were meant for me, and I for you. I may have been 17, but I’d never been so sure of anything in my life. I still haven’t been,” he states, slightly hurt that you would even make a claim like that. “I know what I did was fucked up, that’s not lost on either of us, and I’ve done my best to show and prove to you that I’m sorry, because it wasn’t right. Edgar didn’t know, but you did. You knew and you felt the same for me.”

“Curtis-”

“Well you did, you can deny it all you want, but we both know it’s true.”

“It doesn’t matter-” “Well, why you’d pick him?”

You scowl and lay on your back, “you don’t want the honest answer to that question.” “I can handle it.” “Lets not-”

“Just tell me!’

“I really don’t think I need to, Curtis! There’s something wrong with you! Something in you is unhinged and it shows!” you snap, sitting up and facing him.

He sits back and lets out a heavy sigh, and it breaks your heart, but he’s the one who wants to know so bad. 

When he says nothing, you continue, “there’s something that flips a switch in you, and this darkness comes over you. You’re moody, argumentative, and violent. Anything can set it off and, while I get it to an extent, enough shit had happened and I didn’t want to deal with it. You would be so soft with me at times, but you could easily lose your temper with anyone else...with the exception of Gilliam. Edgar was kind, funny, and sweet. No, it wasn’t ideal, but I felt safe with him and I didn’t have to worry about him losing his shit on me. So yes, I had feelings for you, but I chose him. I know you took him under your wing out of guilt, but you were also jealous. The more he trusted you, the more you took advantage of that. It made me resent him. Then, when he went off with you for the uprising, I knew he wasn’t coming back. You wouldn’t let him.”

You can see the anger in his eyes, but he knows that he can’t call you a liar. Everything you’re saying is true and he’s not about to try and make a fool out of you.

“I did it for you,” he responds after a moment. “You don’t have to believe it, and I know you didn’t see it, but I did it for you. I’ve always wanted to keep you safe, take care of you, and have you by my side. Everything I’ve done has been for you, and while some of it has been less than humane, I’d do it again if it meant you could be happy. If it means you can have a better life, I’ll do it, and I don’t care who I have to hurt.”

“Curtis-”

“I don’t care how crazy any of it sounds, because you have to be crazy to survive in this world. I’d do anything to give you a better life and see you happy. I love you, Y/N,” he tells you softly and sincerely.

You shouldn’t feel an overwhelming amount or love and joy for him, but that doesn’t stop it from washing over you. Is there a shrink on this fucking train, because you both need your fucking heads examined.

“I’ll ask you again, do you love me?”

Slipping out before you have a chance to stop it, “yes. Yes Curtis, I love you.”

Your heart swells at the small smile that comes to his face, as he finally gets up and makes his way back to the bed, and gets in next to you. You ignore the shameful amount of guilt that overcomes you, because what happened in the past can’t be changed. All that counts is right now and the future you and Curtis will create together. 

You rest your head on his chest and make little circles it, “how are you so sure, Curtis?”

“So sure of what?” he asks, stroking your shoulder and finally relaxing.

“That you love me. How do you know it’s not just an overwhelming sense of lust?”

He laughs to himself and kisses the top of your head, “because when all the fog in my mind settles, there’s still a burning desire for you in my heart. A burning desire to protect you, make you happy, hear your voice, see you smile, and to love you until there’s no breath left in my body. When the fog clears, there’s always a desire to love you with everything I have in me.”

Pressing a soft kiss to his chest, you look up at him, “I’m sorry it took me so long to finally get here.”

“You don’t have to say you’re sorry, just promise to never leave.”

“I promise.”

“I love you, honey.”

“I love you, Curtis.” 

[evandre15]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Snowpiercer (TV 2020) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Miss Audrey/Bess Till Summary:

With the help of a certain accessory, Bess fulfills Audrey's request for help in unwinding a little.

***Sexually explicit fic, please MIND THE AO3 TAGS on this one, please!*** 

[missaudreystiara]

Is it a complete sin to delete a whole chapter from an AO3 fic because you hate it? 👀

[communistkenobi]

okay i'm very curious to hear your thoughts on snowpiercer because i hated that movie when it first came out too but i haven't seen it since and i've been wondering lately if i need to reevaluate it

I was told that movie had an extremely basic and obvious premise, that the train was a metaphor for capitalism, that it was going to directly deal with climate change as a result of capitalism, so it was going to be one of those movies that hits you over the head with its theme. so I’m like ok cool I’ll watch it. But it doesn’t make sense as a metaphor for capitalism because it’s formulated in a fundamentally stupid way - the underclass, who are allegorised to be undocumented people (they boarded the train without a ticket) kinda just sit around doing nothing lol? They are provided for by the upper classes and are only occasionally called upon to do very particular types of labour (ie the guy who knows how to play a musical instrument). Yes their lives aren’t great, but they have a lot of free time to just like, plan revolts lol. That’s just like an offensively incorrect way to depict labour exploitation and wealth inequality. It’s also just kind of racist and weird about non-white characters, and I don’t like Chris Evans as an actor very much so I just was not a fan of that whole set up lol. Like by default I’m not going to care about a white guy revolutionary helping non-white people, and the movie did nothing to make that compelling. There’s other stuff I really disliked about the movie but it’s been a while since I watched it so I’m struggling to remember. I enjoyed Tilda Swinton’s character at least, she was really good at being an evil english politician.

And if it’s not about capitalism, if it’s just about some fucked up fictional society that lives on a train, then it’s a movie that says nothing and is about nothing, that ends with crashing the train in the frozen wasteland that is earth. It was just especially shocking bc I’d watched Parasite beforehand and enjoyed it, but Snowpiercer fucking sucks lol

[esta-elavaris]

Tagged by @wanderdreamer thank you 💜💜

Favorite Color: if we're just going by the ones I wear the most, black, green, red, and gold. Big fan of the red nails and red lipstick combo. This is just a tricky one, though, because I'm a fan of every colour in the right context. But I'm a big ol' goth so that influences things lolol.

Last Song: Passion's Killing Floor - HIM (god, Ville Valo's lyrics tho)

Last Movie: Last Night in Soho -- this is a weird one for me because uhhh like the protagonist I absolutely did not Do Well when I went to uni in London from a personal standpoint, so watching it always brings that back, but it's such a good movie.

Currently Watching: I've been slowly picking my way through Snowpiercer with a one episode per night at most pace. I watched the first ~season and a half a little over a year ago so it's been fun to come back to! I'm so bad for "watching" things by putting them on as background noise while I write, and then I have no idea what's actually going on, so it's been a nice change of pace to actually just sit and properly watch something for an hour each evening.

Other Stuff I Watched This Year: The Great, which I really enjoyed once I got used to the tone of it. I also keep meaning to catch up with Peaky Blinders, but it's one of those that you really have to properly watch and like I said I'm bad at that. I also want to rewatch Outlander from the beginning before I get into the new and final season, so that could be a good background noise shout! Also slowly getting into The White Lotus. And I finally completed the Sopranos this month, after swearing I would for years and somehow (?!?!) managing to avoid spoilers for the ending.

Oooo also the Serpent Queen! Didn't expect to enjoy that one as much as I did!

Shows I Dropped This Year: There've been quite a few but I could not name them because I tend to get 30 mins in, realise every character could die in the next scene and I would not care, and that's that. The Last of Us fell victim to that. I got to a point where I was so bored and only watching it for the hype, which is no reason to do anything you don't enjoy.

Currently Reading: God, getting a Switch lite decimated my previously very good reading habit this month, but I'm getting back into it. Currently rereading The Two Towers (just finished the Helm's Deep chapter), and reading David Goggins' second book for the first time. I like having a non-fiction one on the go because I always find it inspiring, whereas fiction is just pure escapism for me 💜

Thank you for the tag! I enjoyed it!

Tagging @ass-deep-in-demons, @neverisle, @scyllas-revenge, @quillofspirit and @trenko-heart

[afaimscorner]

Frankly I have no energy left to contribute to a #SaveFirstKill or #ReleaseBatgirl Campaign. I gave my all  first to  #RenewLegendsofTomorrow and then #SaveLegendsofTomorrow for month with the only result being that the show was cancelled instead of renewed, that “Superman & Lois” was rectonned out of the Arrowverse, and that “The Flash” got an even shorter final season than originally thought, which will also now the Finale of the Arrowverse. And “Legends” is still not getting a Finale.

I also did contribute to #SaveLegacies, which also achieved nothing, expect that “Vampire Diaries” and “The Originals” left Netflix. And I tried #SaveBatwoman, even though I don’t even like the show anymore, and I tried #SaveRoswellNewMexico before I even watched a single episode of that show which I now love dearly, which makes it so bitter to know that no matter when I will see Season 3 and 4, it will be the end of it and there probably won’t be a satisfying ending, but just a “let’s cut the Cliffhangars out” Season Finale.

And during all those months of senseless fighting for not more than an actual chance to get a last season, mini-series, or special so that we get so finish those stories properly, it only become clear that no one but the fans gave a damn about that. I mean, yes, the actors, the crew and the writers maybe did, but no one with actual power to make it happen did. So I have made peace with the fact that the Legends will stay in Time Prison forever, that “Legacies”, “Batwoman” and “Roswell, New Mexico” like the “Charmed”-Reboot are just over without proper endings, and that the Arrowverse and the Vampire Verse were dropped because appareantly there was too much of LGBT-Shit, Female Leads and Non-White Characters in them.

And why I have no clue what is going on with “First Kill” , it has become clear in the last couple of days, that the problem with most of the rest is Warner and that we had it better when it was still owned by AT&T. For some reason HBOmax won’t be streaming or producing original fictional content from Warner anymore and is not interested in keeping their old subscriber base. “Batgirl” and “Scoop” are only the beginning. Suddenly everything they are already working on and everything planned for the platform from “Blue Beetle” to that “Green Lantern”-show to the newest season of “Harley Quinn” and Season 2 of “Peacemaker” - all of those might just not be released anymore. Of course we will never get to see the rest of “The Nevers”, if they are scrapping actual movies, they are totally scrapping the finished episodes of that show as well. HBOmax will keep going thanks to “House of the Dragon” for the rest of the year, but next year ... who knows? Maybe HBO and Warner will split up and one streaming service less will exist in this world and they will make their own new seperate streaming services instead. And even worse, the whole done but no release might spread to the Cinematic Releases. “The Flash”-Movie might just never get released after all and the same might happen to “Aquaman 2″ and many other movies for several different reasons.

And, did I menton that Season 4 of “Snowpiercer” is also in danger now and I really have no engery left to worry about this show on the top of everything else?

I have just given up. Everything I loved and watched is either coming to an natural end soon, has been cancelled, or will come to un un-natural end soon and/or will never be released anyhow.

We will only get new cheap shows, no more fantasy or science fiction shows, or only event-shows with 6-8 Episodes in their one or two seasons anymore, television will be ruled by Crime Shows again with no one investing money in anything else, and the LGBTQ-Community and Female Leads will disappear from fiction all together outside the one or two special decicated shows, that will pop up once or twice a year. Projects with high production value and good stories, which defy this model, will be overlooked and dropped or only stream on Paramount+, if that streaming service even survives the next couple of years. Disney will just give in one day and put warrior women and LGBT-stuff back in the locked chest, they kept it in for centuries, because too few people want too see stuff, that features those kind of things. The Doctor will forever be male again, and that one time they were female will be framed as an failed experiment by stupid people by everyone who is still watching which won’t be many people any more, but the people who matter: Male Brits.

So, no, I won’t fight anymore. I am defeated and will just stop watching Televions and Movies. Because there is literally no point to it anymore.

[ohstylesno]

Omg this question always makes me panic because I watch too many movies and shows and I can’t pick favourites. Same with directors. And my taste is, sometimes, weird.

Okay, If I remember correctly you love rom-coms and you are not a huge fan of horror movies, right? I am the opposite lol not a fan of rom-coms and I LOVE horror and psychological stuff. The ones that come in my mind right now are:

Horror/psychological horror: The With, The Ritual (this one is scary even for people that usually don’t get scared), Last Night in Soho (this is psychological and really really good and snubbed at the Oscars imo), His House (so underrated!), Fresh, X, Midsommar, A Quite Place (both the movies).

No horror: The Last Black Man in San Francisco, 1917, The Last Duel, The Green Knight, Hush (short movie, 100 % suspence!), The Tragedy of McBeth, Triangle (2009, saw recently and confusing at first but the ending is 🤯), The Good Liar, Villains (light fun movie with a hot Bill Skarsgård), Snowpiercer and Mother (not the American ones, the ones from Parasite’s director: Joon-Ho), Old Boy (not horror but quite brutal and not everyone handles the twist 🙈 but good! The original korean one, please stay away from the American remake), The Breakfast Club (old light movie), Prisoners and then some of the ones that made me realise I wanted to write and direct movie: Memento, The Prestige and Shutter Island.

Open to recommendations too 🤗

Not a huge fan of scary movies, no. I just don’t like feeling scared lmao, so why seek it out you know?? hehe. But thank you. 

But great list, lots of movies I haven’t seen on there. I’ve only seen 1917, Shutter Island and The Breakfast Club so I’ll save your list 🥰 Seems like you’re a big fan of Nolan, so why is The Dark Knight not on your top list? That’s a big surprising tbh! 👀

As for my faves.. Hmm, well my favorite movie since I was like 18 has been Almost Famous. (Worth watching the Bootleg Cut - some of the best scenes are in that one) I just love everything about it - the script, the cast, the soundtrack, the fashion, the mood, it’s amazing. Also a big fan of forrest gump, pulp fiction, the lord of the rings trilogy, parasite, good will hunting, 10 things i hate about you, the godfather, dirty dancing, titanic, the intouchables ❤️

[thingsmk1120sayz]

My brain has an idea

Coming to a tumblr page near you

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter Eleven: More Than Just Turkey

Summary- 5k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. Tanya opened her home to the holiday and you are nervous to be joining in on these friends made into a family holiday. Curtis though is happy to include you among those he is closest with.

Warnings- Reader experiences moments of nervousness and doubt. Some hesitant eating moments. Sexual Content, Fingering. This is an 18+ Only Blog

A/N- It is no secret I love holidays and had to include a Friendsgiving chapter for this verse. I think I love this chapter for the fact that Curtis made his own family in his friends. As always, thank you so much for reading, sharing, and commenting. Every time I read someone's comment, message, or ask that talks about being seen in this journey, I just feel so grateful. Special thanks to @what-is-your-plan-today for taking the time to go over this, especially with you having been under the weather. All the love, thank you so much. Dividers made by @firefly-graphics

Chapter Ten / Masterlist

“You sure this is enough?” You worried as Curtis drove towards Tanya's house. You twisted in your seat once more, checking your two dishes were safe although you already knew they were secured in place. Curtis glanced at you from the corner of his eye and reached over to grasp your thigh, gently squeezing to get your attention. 

“Honey, it is more than enough. Especially when Tanya told you not to bring anything.” He calmly reminded you. 

His tone served as a reminder that you were everything he wasn't right now. Where he was calm and collected, you were a nervous bundle of energy fretting in your seat. You had worried about everything since Curtis went to your apartment to pick you up, patiently he assured you that you looked beautiful and the food you got up early to make tasted perfect. He had his suspicions about why you were nervous but kept those thoughts to himself. 

For you, this was a big moment and it had been drilled into you with Jake that you had to be perfect when going to friends' and families' houses. Curtis was nothing like Jake, but old habits died hard. 

“I can’t show up at Tanya’s house with nothing Curtis.” 

“And you have two dishes that look amazing and I know will taste even better from the sample I took this morning.” 

“Really?” You finally straightened back in place and Curtis took your hand to bring into his lap, smoothing his thumb over the back of your hand. 

“Really Honey, Tanya is gonna be thrilled to see your sweet potato casserole and rolls.” He lifted your hand up to his whiskered mouth, pressing a kiss there. “Now try and relax, enjoy yourself Pretty Girl.” He rumbled out deeply and you inched over closer to let your head rest against his shoulder. 

Curtis kept hold of your hand till the time he pulled into the driveway, several cars were already parked there. You swiftly unbuckled and Curtis tightened his hold on you to tug you close against him, tilting your face to look at him. 

“Remember that these are friends. What’s got you so worried?” Curtis finally voiced, knowing you were still dealing with the shit your ex had put you through, and then not to mention Halloween was just four weeks ago. “I promise all that is expected of you is to enjoy your holiday.” 

He opted not to mention Edgar’s behavior at Halloween. Between him and Tanya, Edgar already knew he was on thin ice and had to be at his absolute best today, or else they really were going to let Ella loose on him. That is if Curtis didn’t get to him first. They still hadn’t chatted, but it was something Curtis planned on fixing today. Get what needed to be said out and move on. 

Curtis wasn’t necessarily sympathetic about Edgar’s jealousy but you had seemed ready to forgive and try again, he supposed he could as well. With the clear promise, it was to never happen again. 

You wrinkled your nose and he pressed a kiss to the tip, even though his crystalline blues bored into your own still. “What if I do something, or get in the way.” Your brows furrowed and you looked down, your insecurities getting the best of you at the moment. “I just don’t want to embarrass you today.” 

“Just be you, Honey, You are sweet, kind, sexy as fuck…” You rolled your eyes a bit here, but Curtis got your attention again. “... and I’m damn proud you're my girl that I get to show off. You have nothing to worry about today.” 

“You are too much.” You couldn't hold back the smile, his words having given you a giddy rush that warmed your cheeks and made you glad you were here now. 

“I don’t tell you nearly enough Pretty Girl. Come on.” He opened the door and slid you across the seat to help you down. Once one of your dishes was secured in your hold and he had the other, the two of you made it up the steps and a knock had the door springing open to Timmy waiting in the entranceway, holding out his hands in offering to let you step inside. 

“Hey Ms.Y/L/N, Curtis, Mama was saying you two should be showing up any minute.” 

“Y/N had to let something cool before we could get here.” Curtis set down his bowl and offered to help you out of your jacket, then took off his. 

“Hey, Timmy, how about today it's just Y/N? We are on vacation after all.” You offered and your student gave a nod in understanding. 

“Sure thing Y/N, the kitchen is just down the hall to the left, everyone is in there or the living room, I will go bring these to mom.” He took off with your sweet potatoes, and you turned to Curtis, moving to pick up the rolls. 

“I'm gonna run these in there.” You mentioned while he unlaced his boots to get them off. 

“I will be around in a minute to say Hi to Tanya.” 

You made your way into the kitchen, bypassing the living room where it looked like Edgar and Timmy were getting ready to wrestle, while Grey was teaching the kid some moves to use on Edgar. In the kitchen you found Tanya and Ella picking at some snacks on a board, an open bottle of wine, and food scattered all over the place. On a stool near Ella stood Sophia, the little three-year-old in pigtails, doing her best to mix some dough with her spoon, happily.

“Hey.” You said as you held up a covered cooking sheet. “I also come with some rolls.” 

“You are a life saver Y/N.” Tanya exclaimed as she motioned to a bare spot on her island counter. “This one distracted me and I done burned mine.” Curtis’ cousin next to her gave a look to her friend.

“Excuse me, I'm sorry that I literally said ‘Hey look at this post on Instagram and you forgot your rolls scrolling the half-naked hot dudes. Hate to see your reaction to pornhub.” Ella set her phone down to help Sophia with stirring. “Alright kiddo, these cookies are looking good. But you know who is here now? Uncle Curtis.” She fixed Sophia’s hair. “Can you say hi to Y/N? Remember she gave us all the best candy trick or treating.” 

The little girl, with her chubby cheeks a bit ruddy from the warmth in the kitchen and bright shining eyes, immediately dropped her spoon in the bowl and threw her hands up to be let down. “Uncle! Uncle!” She beamed at you as Ella wiped at her hands with a wet towel and tugged her flour covered mini apron off to set her free. “Hi!” Little fingers waved at you before she giggled and scrunched up her face at you. 

“He should be here in just a second, he was just taking off his boots.” You told the women as you reached a hand for Sophia, who grasped it in a greeting. “Hey, Sophia nice to see you.” 

Sophia's eyes were bright and exquisite as she looked you over. She must have deemed you okay because she rambled right into a conversation with you in two seconds while still working on getting off her chair. “Those suga’ cookies’ for famksgiving.” You were helping her down when Curtis came around the corner. 

“Uncle!” Sophia's voice rose in excitement and bolted away from you to race to her uncle who promptly caught her and swung her up into the crook of his arm, where she sat like she belonged, hugging him around his neck and pointing excitedly at her cookie dough. “Look what I’m making!” 

“Well, you are the cookie monster.” He swung her around, blowing on her belly and making her squeal in laughter. Ella shook her head at the two of them. 

“How about we finish your sugar cookies and you go play with Uncle Curtis?” Ella wiggled her brows at the suggestion, the little girl immediately on board with the idea. 

“You’re leaving me alone with this rugrat?” Curtis now had Sophia hanging over his shoulder, the little girl squealing with excitement as she grabbed at her uncle's beanie and shoved the too big hat on her head, half covering her head. 

“Her father is in the other room. Let Grey take her for a while. It’s his weekend with her.” Ella nodded, tickling the back of Sophia’s feet, making her kick against Curtis’s chest lightly. Tanya piped up from the stove where she was basting a turkey. 

“You will be safe Curtis.” From the other room, Timmy chose the opportune moment to call Curtis's name. 

There was no saving him now and he took a firm hold of Sophia's swinging legs to keep her from kicking, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “Don’t believe anything these two say while I’m gone.” 

“I’m gonna tell her about that time I caught you kissing my doll.” Ella smirked as she rolled out the cookie dough, Tanya pausing in mid-baste to look over her shoulder. 

“He didn’t!” 

“Sure was! He claims he was practicing to kiss the girl next door to Grammy’s.” Ella promised.

Curtis groaned as he hung his head, sighing. “I should have lied to you.” 

“How could you have lied about that Curtis? Anything else would have just sounded weirder.” Ella laughed as she continued with the cookies. 

You shooed your hands at him, giving a light push. “Git outta here, I wanna hear more about what you did as a kid.” 

He shot one last look at the three women while Sophia slid back into his arms. He looked down at his niece and everything was all good, you fit in just like you had always been a part of the family. “Come on Little Terror, let’s go find your Daddy.” 

Entering the living room where Edgar and Timmy had each other in a headlock and Grey was directing Timmy on which way to twist to bring Edgar down to the floor. 

“Okay! Okay, I give.” Edgar finally bowed out, the two of them falling to the floor, panting to catch their breath. Curtis let Sophia go, watching her run off to her father. 

“Hey Edgar, got a minute?” Cutis cocked his head to the door in suggestion. Edgar glanced up at him warily but gave a nod, pushing himself up off the floor to follow Curtis outside on the porch. The two men stood out in the chilly fall morning, watching Tanya’s street with interest. Edgar shifted nervously next to Curtis, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck to ease the tension. 

“So- uh- before we start, I wanna say thanks, for being cool with me coming today.” 

Curtis breathed in deeply, clearing out his irritation with Edgar and remembering how you were willing to give him a chance. “You really have to thank Y/N for that. She was willing to look past the things you said and give you a chance to prove that you’re better than that.” Curtis leaned his forearms on the railing, still looking out on the street. “Which I know you are Edgar, I just…well, I still don’t fucking understand where that came from.” 

Turning finally to face him, expecting an answer Edgar sighed. “Me being a dumbass. Like I told Y/N, jealous. You were happy Curtis. In two months your whole life was just better all because of Y/N. I was there, you were watching Y/N like she was a literal Goddess walking around the room, and fuck man, I wanted that. I wanted someone who just makes everything seem worth it, you know?” 

“God Edgar, you are something else.” Curtis shook his head in irritation. “So you saw I was happy and you decided to what… try to make Y/N seem unworthy?” 

“I was an idiot, not thinking clearly. She seemed too good, everyone liked her, all of us, myself included liked her from the moment we met her. I just… grasped at the first thing I could to make her seem less perfect I guess.” 

“I could fucking strangle you.” Cutis snapped out, leveling a cold look at Edgar. “You know what happened after that?” Edgar gave a sad shake of his head. “Y/N hated on herself, you made her believe every fear she has about herself. She shut down that night and I spent all Halloween reminding her that she was perfect just as she is.” 

“I wish I could take it back… I don’t feel that way at all about her, I swear.” 

“Words fucking mean something Edgar, the things you say can lift a person up or drag them down. You brought her to a dark place that she had already escaped from once.” Curtis angrily said. 

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Edgar said quietly. 

Curtis took a moment, letting himself calm down once more. “ I know you are, I do believe that you are. Y/N is ready to move on and if she is then I’m willing to as well. But listen carefully Edgar, if you ever make me choose between the two of you again, it is going to be her.” 

“Okay.” 

“No, I'm dead fucking serious Edgar. I don’t know where Y/N and I are going to end up, but I’m ready to see, she’s unlike any woman I’ve dated so far. This isn’t us fooling around 'cause it’s a good time.” 

“I get it Curtis, we can all see that this isn’t like any girlfriend you’ve had before.” 

You craned your head out of the kitchen to watch Curtis leave with Sophia when you turned back to the other two, going to help with cutting out the cookies and putting them on the tray. “So… tell me more about Curtis as a kid?” 

“Oh gladly.” Ella grinned, delving into more stories of him when he was younger. The next half hour they spent together was Ella telling childhood stories along with Tanya filling in some of her own stories from their friendship. You found yourself giggling so much that your eyes watered and you constantly were wiping at them.

Tanya finally pulled out the last tray of cookies and set them aside. “Well that's just about it, Y/N can you go tell them I need one of them to carve this turkey and Timmy to come set the table?” 

“Of course.” You set your wine glass down, feeling a bit giddy still and Ella promptly reached over to pour the last of the wine bottle in it. 

“I will bring it to the table.” She winked. “Tanya we gotta open another bottle.” 

“Another one?”

You heard Tanya answer back as you made your way to the living room. Poking your head in, the sight that you saw made you cover your mouth briefly to keep a surprised ‘aww’ escaping. All four of the guys were scattered around the floor lounging, Sophia going to each one to make them so pretty as she kept saying. 

Carefully she would brush the men's hair, trying to sweep it back or make it stand up, depending on who she was with. Making her way to Curtis, she just swiped it over his scalp and then on his beard, beaming at her uncle. “So pretty.” 

“Yes, so pretty.” Curtis agreed with her, rolling his eyes up and wincing just a bit when she let the bristles come down just a little too hard. “Okay, go get Daddy now.” 

This is when you opted to make yourself known. “Hey, Tanya needs someone to go carve the turkey, any takers?” 

Edgar pushed up off the floor before Sophia could circle back to him, taking the excuse to escape getting his hair brushed once more. Timmy was right behind him and Gray caught his daughter in his hold, kissing her chubby cheek. “You wanna go help Mommy now?” The toddler swept her brush through his hair with an enthusiastic nod. 

Leaving just you and Curtis alone in the living room, he pushed to a stand while you joined him. “Having a good time?” He inquired while running his hands around you to press into the dip of your back and pull you flush against him. You circled his waist in response, swaying gently with him. 

“Yes, Ella and Tanya told me a lot.” You giggled, still feeling the warm rush the wine gave you. “I didn’t have the heart to tell your cousin that your moves have gotten better over the years. She likes to think that you are a walking disaster when it comes to women.” 

Curtis groaned with a tilt of his head. “She really forgets nothing.”

“Did you really show up at a girl's house with a boombox to play Backstreet Boys?” 

“It was her favorite song. I was thirteen.” He let his forehead lean against yours, “I just watched Say Anything and saw John Cusak do it.” 

You giggled as you tilted your face up to nibble at his bottom lip, your eyes shining excitedly at him from under your lashes. You are full of surprises Curtis.” 

“I got more for you later.” He winked at you, a thumb and forefinger grasping your chin to hold you still as he tilted in close, kissing you slow and dirty in the middle of his friend's living room, Your hands clutched at the back of his shirt to keep yourself steady at the moment. 

It seemed to have the desired effect he was looking for because you were left with parted lips and dazed eyes as his thumb swiped along your bottom lip before weaving his hand with yours and leading you away from the living room. 

At the moment you were speechless, having him chuckling softly as he tucked you under his arm, while rejoining everyone else. 

“You were playing dirty.” You whispered to him before anyone could hear you. 

“Nah, I was being nice, Pretty Girl.” His tone dropped at the nickname and he eased out a chair which you settled into, glancing around the table. Timmy was carving the turkey with Edgar nearby giving tips, Grey and Ella had Sophia between the two of them, Ella making her a plate while Grey worked on tying her hair back to keep it from getting messy while she was eating. Tanya was admiring the entire setup with a pleased look on her face. 

“It all looks so good.” You complimented as you felt your leg jiggle. There was so much food and everyone was generously helping themselves to what was spread around and you found yourself suddenly nervous about taking any. Each bowl and platter Curtis passed to you had you taking small amounts, easily leaving you with just a few bites of everything. 

It didn’t pass Curtis’s notice, seeing you pick at the food on your plate. Under the table he reached over to gently grasp your thigh, giving a slight squeeze to catch your attention. You were talking to Grey across the table, but feeling Curtis’s hand, you glanced at him, your fork with a tiny bite of potatoes. His gaze dropped to your fork in question and you were quick to take that bite. 

Was he judging what you were eating? The chaotic part of your mind drilled you, even though the sensible part was sure to remind you that he never had before and on the first date he watched you eat a giant burger, fries and a shake, there wasn't even enough on your plate to count as a full meal. 

But his hand never moved away, if anything he tucked it further between your thighs and let his thumb brush back and forth soothing while he went back to talking among the group. Curtis wasn’t upset with you eating, he was just silently checking in to make sure you were okay. It occurred to you that you were letting your thoughts dictate you and you weren't enjoying yourself because you were worried over nothing no one else was noticing. In defiance of the negative thoughts, you nudged Curtis. 

“Can I have the mashed potatoes and gravy?” 

Curtis gave you a genuine smile while handing them over to you. “Anything you want Honey, more turkey? You don't have much.” 

“Yes please and a roll.” 

You were done censoring your eating today and properly filled your plate. 

“Where did you teach before here Y/N?” Tanya asked, drawing you back into the conversation. 

You had to clear your mind, clearing your throat to focus on what was asked of you and take another bite. “Lake George in New York for almost five years, but I needed the change.” 

Curtis had yet to remove his hand from your leg, but you were noticeably at ease once more and were not pushing your food around like you had been before. He remained quiet while you opened up with everyone, soon laughing just like you were before in the kitchen. Completely in the moment. 

And that was all he wanted today, for you to feel welcome in those he considered his family. 

Soon everyone was pushing their plates away with overfilled groans about how good the food had been. “Well, I think I can get this table cleaned off, you all up for some games?” Tanya pushed to a stand, gathering dirty dishes. 

“Sure, what do you have?” Ella asked curiously, handing her dishes over. Curtis removed himself from the table to collect the dishes from Tanya to bring them to the kitchen, you started to gather stuff off the table while the others discussed game choices. 

“Thanks Curtis and Y/N, umm, Timmy what do we have?” 

Curtis was quick to deposit the dishes in the kitchen and you were right next to him organizing them so they didn't take up too much counter space. Taking your hand, he gave you a light tug to have you follow him, leading you into the hallway. “Where are we going?” You asked him in a whisper and he didn't slow down till he got to a door and swept it open to a guest bathroom. Being pulled in, you turned to him with a confused look while he locked the door behind him. 

“Right here.” He directed you to turn around in the small space, moving behind you till you were facing the mirror hanging above the bathroom sink. “I wanted a few minutes alone with you Honey.” He muttered as he rubbed his chin against the curve of your neck, watching your reactions through the mirror. “Just checking in with you.” A tilt of his head made him start teasing near the hinge of your jaw causing you to tilt for him. “Pretty Girl.” 

Your breath hitched hearing him, his gaze lifting enough to see that instead of closing up, you were getting lost in the sensations his mouth was bringing you. His hands squeezed your hips once more before pushing under your shirt to stroke along the lower part of your belly.

“I’m good, feeling really good.” You said hazily as he flushed kisses down to your shoulder. 

“I can tell, think you can be quiet for me?” Fingers delved under the band of your pants to brush his fingers on your mound, pressing lightly into the soft curls before stroking against your slit, making you quiver, shooting a look at him through the mirror. His head tilted in question even though he continued to touch, tracing your slit now to spread your folds apart. 

Yes, you could be quiet cause he gathered enough slick to rub your clit and you urgently gripped the edge of the counter but didn’t make a peep at how good it felt. “That’s my girl.” He praised your efforts and started to tease you more, spreading slick that wept from you to put more pressure on you. He never let up kissing your neck, never quite giving you a hickey, but his teeth nipped in place of some kisses, and he never stopped praising you. Between presses of his lips, he would groan in your ear as a finger filled you, then another to stretch you and make you whimper at the sensation. “Eyes on me Pretty Girl, fuck you’re beautiful when you get like this.” 

You did your best to stare at him through the mirror, your eyes rolling back whenever he hit a particularly sweet spot. 

“Curtis…” You whispered out, your mouth screwing to keep from calling out as his calloused fingers stroked over your sweet spot over and over so you would cum for him. 

“What is it Pretty Girl, think you’re gonna give out on me?” Another stroke had your knees giving a shake and your knuckles whitening as you grasped Tanya’s bathroom counter in an effort not to let yourself sag. Your head shook a no, you could keep going. His tone was heavy, graveled deep as he called you pretty girl once more, and stroked you so thoroughly, his thumb flicking around your clit, it all made your eyes waver back and jaw go slack. 

“Oh god, I’m gonna-” 

Hearing you he went faster, clasping his other hand over your mouth to keep you quiet while his fingers fucked you. “Come on Pretty Girl, you gonna show me how good you feel?” Hearing him, your velvet walls clenched around him and your eyes were now pleading with him in the mirror while his mouth curved up, feeling just how close you were. 

“Pretty Girl, god you are so fucking sexy looking like this.” You clenched again, your slick sounding so loud now, the sound of his hand between your thigh was soon covered by your muffled gasp, feeling the white heat in your belly sear in pleasure while you sagged into his hold. “I got you…” His arm dropped to around your waist and you leaned back into his chest.

“Fuck that was perfect.” Curtis eased his hand from your pants and held up the glistening fingers with a smirk. 

You shyly turned into his arms, feeling vulnerable in the way that this wasn't the safety of your apartment or his house. Your face pressed into the soft flannel covering his chest and he rubbed at your back, smiling to yourself as his mouth pressed at the crown of your head. 

“You looked so good Honey, I couldn't stop thinking about getting you to myself for a few moments.” Curtis assured you, giving his hand a quick rinse in the bathroom sink. 

You hid a smile in his chest but then you looked up, nuzzling a bit against his beard and sighing. “We should get back out there. I can only imagine Ella coming to look for us.” 

Curtis gave a laugh, his eyes amused. “That is something she would do.” Before you let him unlock the door, you cupped the back of his neck and shared a thorough kiss, biting lightly at his bottom lip before pulling away from him.

“Okay, I’m ready now.” Clicking the lock, you both exited the bathroom. 

On the way back through the house to go towards the dining room, you paused seeing all these pictures hanging in the hallway. Glancing at all the happy pictures, you saw a few that Curtis was included in. 

What appeared to be card night around Tanya’s table with a much younger Timmy sitting next to him. You pointed it out to him. “How old was Timmy here?”

He scooped up behind you, kissing the back of your neck while you sunk back into him, looking up at the wall. 

“Mmmh, probably 10? We were having poker night.” Curtis smiled at the memory of it. “Only gambling Tanya said we could do. Kid cleaned me out that night.” 

You giggled at his story, letting your hands cover his resting on your waist. “What a beautiful family.” 

He hummed in agreement and continued back towards the dining room. 

Tanya just glanced at the two of you coming back into the room and gave a smile in greeting. “Would you two like some coffee?” 

“Sure.” You were eager for the attention to fall off you and Curtis. “Let me help you.” 

“No, no… I got it.” She said as she pushed up from the dining room table that was now littered with the board game Clue, some untouched snacks, and drinks. “You and Curtis are the green peg on the board and your turn is next. Cream, sugar?” 

“Sounds perfect.” 

“Curtis?” 

“None for me, thanks.” He said absently while studying the board, Ella flinging over a piece of paper with all the clues already given on the board. His arm circled over your shoulders while waiting for your turn to pop up. “Hey Sophia Bear, what cards does your mom have?” He teased and Ella hid her cards against her chest. 

“Just cause you two went off doing who knows what doesn't mean you can cheat to win Curtis!” 

“She has a man!” Sophia chose to divulge her mom's secrets anyways much to the room's amusement, making them all laugh. Grey tugged his toddler into his lap, whispering in her ear while Ella scowled at her kid.

“Good girl.”  

Timmy stretched out across the table to move his piece into the library and started making his accusation as to whodunit. 

Ella cheekily denied having any clues before she turned to you and Curtis. “Sooo, you two have a good time?” 

“Just showing Y/N the house.” Curtis was quick to reply which had you half panicking next to him but under the table, his hand rubbed against your thigh reassuring. “Tanya has a nice backyard.” 

“Liar, it's just a dirt patch back there,” Ella smirked at the two of you and shared a wink with you. “Good for you two. But… you’re still getting your asses beat at Clue.” 

“Bring it.” Curtis challenged her while he pressed the dice into your hand. “Give us a good roll Honey.” 

[dbnightingale24]

Coming soon 😌

[evandre15]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Snowpiercer (TV 2020) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Miss Audrey/Bess Till, Miss Audrey & Bess Till Characters: Miss Audrey (Snowpiercer), Bess Till Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Porn with Feelings, Established Relationship, Femslash, Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, Bess Till's sports memorabilia Summary:

"You can count on one hand the number of times you've seen her in anything less casual than a designer dress. She even sleeps in high-end, fitted lingerie—silky slips or lacy little two-piece numbers that when you spend the night together all but guarantee a night filled with little actual rest."

Bess awakes to find Audrey wearing some very atypical apparel, but the results are definitely a win-win situation.

[missaudreystiara]

4, 6 and 12 😊

4: are you likely to blush when a sex scene comes up or can you read/watch it with a straight face?

Hahahahah I reckon you could possibly predict the answer to this! I wish I could say no, but the answer is of course yes 🙈 I always blush - it’s worst when other people are also in the room watching the TV, but I’m fully capable of blushing even if no one is there to witness it 😳 and re reading it, well, this is probably a large part of the reason why I don’t (usually 😇) read smut 😂

6: do you read fan fiction? If so, do you have any favourite authors or fics?

Fan fiction? No, never heard of her! 😇 I’ve actually been slacking so much at reading any fic recently! I’m sure there are more people i should be name dropping but for now I’ll just cite you and @train-pirate as my fave authors ✍🏻

My fave fic of yours is probably this one, because a) you kindly wrote it for my bday and b) it features my faves 👸🏻🕵🏼

And then my fave one that TP has written has to be this because it’s ridiculous and cute ✨

12: if you could change one ending to a book/show/game/etc, what would you change about it?

I *just* answered this one with Torchwood, but I’m going to be pessimistic (because ill) and preemptively say Snowpiercer 🙈 given how many original bits of story were tied up (or seemingly completely abandoned) by the end of season 3, I’m guessing season 4 will introduce quite a few new plot points that will inevitably get unsatisfactory endings. I also don’t trust the writers to sort my gal out at all 🙈💔👸🏻 fearing death or at least a lot more misery for Audrey 🙈

And I would change all of this by having us write it all instead 😇

Thank you for asking!! 🖤

[boyohazard]

Book/Movie/Show Recommendations

The Southern Reach Trilogy: if you enjoyed the 2019 movie "Annihilation," you'll definitely enjoy the book it was based on and its sequels "Authority" and "Acceptance." They're quite a bit different from the movie, and obviously the sequels expand on the premise in various ways, but if you enjoyed the surrealist sci-fi horror of the film, then you've gotta read the books.

Psycho Goreman: This movie is just plain fun. It combines 80s-style practical effects with sitcom-style family humor, body horror, and Power Rangers-style action. If you go into this movie expecting to have a fun time while not having to digest super thoughtful themes and concepts, you'll have a grand old time.

Freaked!: Do you like the Bill and Ted movies? Do you like early 90s pop culture references? Do you like comic body horror, practical effects, and gross-out humor? Then watch Alex Winter's directorial debut, Freaked! It's on YouTube for free!

Neuromancer: Are you a big fan of cyberpunk? Then read the novel that started it all! So many fundamental cyberpunk concepts were originated in this book, and it weaves an absolutely fascinating and engaging narrative.

John Dies at the End series: Yes, I'm gonna beg you to read this series until the day I die. Surrealist and Eldritch horror comedy at it's finest. The movie ain't half bad, either.

Doom Patrol: Yes, another thing I will plug until the day I die. An DC/HBO Max show about a group of misfit superheroes. Expect some of the weirdest episode concepts you've ever seen. It's got Matt Bomer and Brendan Fraser in it, and LGBT rep out the wazoo, what are you waiting for?

Trust: Do you like Luca Marinelli? Do you wanna watch him play an evil 70s Italian manslut Mafia member? Yeah you do. Go watch this miniseries fictionalizing the kidnapping of John Paul Getty III. If that doesn't seal the deal for you, it's got Brendan Fraser in it!

The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm: Yes, it's technically a YA novel, but don't let that turn you off. This Afrofuturistic novel is set in 2170s Zimbabwe, where the children of a powerful general are kidnapped and it's up to a trio of detective brothers with mutant abilities to rescue them. Still waiting for it to be adapted into a streaming miniseries starring Michael B Jordan and Willow Smith. Nextflix/Hulu/HBO/Amazon Prime, where you at?

Snowpiercer: One of the few Bong Joon-Ho movies to be originally written and performed in English, this movie based on French novel is about the occupants of a train that contains all of the surviving humans after climate change causes the Earth to become an uninhabitable deep freezer. Expect a lot of the same themes about class disparity as his much more famous film, "Parasite"

Mad Max: Fury Road: Tom Hardy. Charlize Theron. Amazing stunts and practical effects. Themes of cult mentality, patriarchy, female liberation, resource scarcity, and found family all set against a backdrop of souped-up cars, suicidal devotees, fanatical warlords, and loud guitar music in a post-apocalyptic desert wasteland.

Watership Down: You know that animated film with the rabbits that scarred you horribly as a small child? Read the novel it was based on!

Prospect: A retro-futuristic Space Western with Pedro Pascal as one of the main characters. Go watch it if you're a fan of Firefly and/or Cowboy Bebop.

Attack the Block: John Boyega's film debut, before he got fucked over by Disney/Lucasfilm. Sci-fi horror comedy about an alien invasion in a tower block in London. Themes about class disparity, especially about how poor children in the urban UK are immediately assumed to be dangerous criminals.

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Getting into season two of Snowpiercer and I'm getting involved. I am also amazed at how I'm responding to characters, or well not really amazed because it is very much in line with how I enjoy my fiction. But it's bringing home the points of how I enjoy fiction so very noticeably. Like I could not be more annoyed by Layton's hypocrisy, like that shit tastes like mouldy bread on an especially bad Monday morning. And I know a lot of that is linked to the fact that his hypocrisy is directly linked to stale fucking heterosexual values that gives me acid reflux. But seriously, him shacking up with Zarah in first class intercut with Lights down in third getting assaulted and maimed. Yeah, I am not a fan. Or well I like that I feel shit, I like that they make it so over the top with his good intentions but lack of commitment. He's just a bag of hot air and from a narrative point of view it's interesting, but I wish I didn't despise one of the main characters so much, especially when they dedicate so much time to him. Also can't stand Zarah's ruthless selfishness, like that woman is a pure monster and I honestly get as much of a stomach ache from her scenes as I do LJ's who is a bonafide psychopath.

On the other hand you have Ruth whose actions I don't really agree with, but whose actions I still get and can respect even though I've found myself mumbling "dumbass" under my breath so many times already. Same with Melanie throughout the entire first season, I might not be here for all of the choices she's made, she's not a good person, but it's a character I get and sort of enjoy because of the grey scale of her morality. It's just interesting to me what I can easily overlook and even enjoy in my fiction in contrast to what I simply cannot stand. Selfishness and self-serving actions without self-awareness seem to be where the line is and if you add avid and rigorous heterosexuality to that shit I don't want none even if there's buns.

And from a purely shallow and aesthetically pleasing point of view, Bess Till in a trench coat stalking the train cars as the manifestation of Rick Deckard's ghost is such a huge step up from last season's Sam Spade cosplay by Layton.

[beecastle]

Tumblr Writer Q&A

Thanks for the tag @feathersandfoxtails

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)? There are two chapters ready to be posted of Guns for hands, they are scheduled to be posted on Saturdays. Nothing finished apart from that.  

2) How many WIPS do you have right now? 6? 4 of them are for the ongoing series I have and 2 one-shots, all of them at different stages of progress

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both? If I’m feeling like it I’ll take requests, problem is I’m terrible at fullfilling them. Sorry to anyone who requested something, I promise I’ll get to it eventually 😭

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have? 5 of them, one is already a wip

5) How many fandoms do you write for? For Lin and Pedro’s characters

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for? Started writing fics in 2015 and it was for a school assignment, we had to change the ending of To kill a mockingbird. After that in 2016 and 2017 I heavily wrote (all unpublished) me inserts, not reader inserts, but I made ME a character in TWD, Marvel, The 100 and Daredevil . 2018 wrote the first non-me insert for Timeless. 2020 the pandemic comes and I publish for the first time on ao3, a TWD fic. Then between 2020 and 2021 Community and Snowpiercer 

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other? I can in theory write for ships, but my joy comes from reader inserts. Also enjoy writing for canon non-romantic relationships.

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for? Lin’s characters, the only “popular” one is Hamilton and maybe Lee 😆

9) Do you read fics as well as write them? of course!

10) What is your favorite genre to write for? Romance and/or whump, depends on the mood of the day

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)?  Hurt/comfort (I can get my fluff and angst needs from it), I enjoy soulmates AUs and slowburn too

12) What do you do to get motivated to write? Read fics and stare at them in amazement once I’m finished

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write? I like reading smut, but after a couple of tries of my own, I don’t think I’m the best at writing it 😆

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested? not that I can think of

15) How long have you been writing fan fiction? In my head? Since I was about 7. On paper? around 6 years. Publishing it and being serious about it? a little over a year

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing? Yes

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well? Both on here and on Ao3

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”? My fics are pretty short, so a drabble is anything too short for me to justify putting on ao3, so anything less than 500. One shots anything over that. And aren’t one-shots fics? *stares in confusion*

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other? One-shots, but do I get over excited and write the first chapter of multi-chapter fics I now need to complete way too often? Yes, yes I do

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why? The Snowpiercer ones, no longer invested in the show as I was. Oh, and a Spiderman one I wrote after watching the movie, my motivation went away

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr? People not commenting on fics if they liked them, likes are nice but comments give life to authors, so if you like something let the author know even if it’s emojis they’ll appreaciate it more than you know 💙

22) Do you write a particular time of day? During economy and history class, but don’t tell my teacher 😂 Also at night

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence? I’ll put the same song or album on repeat and after a while my brain will drown the sound, it helps me focus

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing? multi-chapter fics yes, in fact it’s my favorite part of writing

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day?  Depends on if I have someone to beta read the fic, if I don’t I post it right away

no pressure tagging (with request to start a new post if you partake): @sunflowersturn @night-academy @kesskirata @katieslotherford