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#so 11 is coming really soon
kristannafever · 1 year
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She Ain't Gotta Do Much - 10
Kristanna Modern AU Rated: M WC: 3520
Chapter Index
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He crawled into Anna’s bed with a deep and satisfied sigh, grateful that she suggested him staying with her.   It meant the world to him.   He’d only known her just over a month and already he was making future plans that revolved around her being in his life for the rest of it. 
Anna got into bed after she brushed her teeth and Kristoff moved immediately to pull her into a hug with her back against his chest.  He kissed the back of her head, and the ‘I love you’ just about came out again.
“I’m so glad Sven’s okay,” Anna said, snuggling further against him. 
“Me too.  I was so damn worried.”
“Same.”
He smiled, feeling relieved and thankful all over again.  “Sven’s a quick healer.  I’m sure he’ll be on his feet in no time.”
Anna was silent for a long moment and Kristoff wondered if she was on the verge of falling asleep when, she spoke.  “Forgive me if this seems insensitive, but have you wondered about how this is going to affect your guys’ business?”
“Not insensitive,” Kristoff answered truthfully.  “I’ve kind of thought about it a little and I just don’t really know what’s going to happen.  I keep trying to figure it out, but my brain just can’t… compute.  You know?”
“I completely understand.  And I want you to know that I’m here to help you guys wherever you need help.  I can help you interview new people, or I can work the books for you, or whatever.”
He shook his head at how wonderful and mind-bogglingly perfect she was, and couldn’t keep it in any longer.   “Anna, I’m in love with you.”
Her body moved quickly as she turned in his arms to look at his face.  Her smile was everything.
“I am in love with you too, Kristoff.  With my entire heart and soul.”
“I adore you,” he whispered, and then he kissed her like his life depended on it. 
~   ~   ~   ~   ~
In the morning, Anna kissed Kristoff and wished him luck with Sven at the hospital.  As soon as she was done work, she was heading over there.
When she walked onto her floor, there were still murmurers about what happened with Chad the week before, and Anna pulled everyone in a for a quick meeting to shut them down immediately, telling them the simple truth that Chad had resigned and was no longer any of their business. 
Then she sent an email to the CEO requesting a personal meeting.
After making love the night before, Kristoff had talked to her long into the night about how best to proceed with their company since Sven was out for the time being and it was going to take a few days for Kristoff’s hand to heel.  Luckily this was the week Tony was setting up for the reno, but come next Monday, the two found themselves in a very tight spot without figuring things out.
Which was why Anna had suggested to maybe get some advice from the CEO.  Kristoff had told her all about their conversation and it seemed like a good idea to get the input of a man who’d likely faced similar challenges with his business.
Kristoff also agreed they were going to have to hire someone, and fast, and thanked Anna for offering, but that he felt more comfortable interviewing the applicants himself since he’d be working closely with them.  However, he did take her up on her offer to get the ad out there, and she did that first thing when she got into her brand-new office that morning.
She looked over at the built in bookshelves the three of them had built and smiled at the memory.
Fifteen minutes later, her phone buzzed on her desk and someone from upstairs asked her to come up to the CEO’s office right away.  If Kristoff hadn’t told her what he thought of the man, she might have been nervous.
Walking into his massive office, he stood right away and offered her a warm smile and a very respectable handshake.  It was nice he didn’t try to crush her hand, and also didn’t offer her a limp shake either.  Immediate respect from Anna, considering some of the men she shook hands with honestly tried to hurt her with their grip.  Was it a trying to assert dominance thing, or a genuine laxing of their common sense? 
They sat in the plush sofas and Anna explained the predicament Kristoff found himself in, and they had a very productive conversation on things they could do, the most surprising of which, was to jump in whole hog and start growing the business immediately.  Anna felt apprehensive at first, then as things were explained, she began to see the genius of it.  Now she just had to relay it all to Kristoff.
When they were done their conversation, Dick walked her to his office door and told her to take the rest of the day off and any time she needed this week to help her boyfriend get things back on track.  Anna thanked him graciously and said she would gladly work half days to help him out, and she had just about hugged the man when he smiled at her and said ‘good’.
She texted Kristoff that she was on her way over before she left, and drove to the hospital straight away.  She found Kristoff, Tilly and Sven’s parents in the waiting room, talking quietly and waiting for Sven to wake up from a nap to visit him.  When he did, Anna was able to go in with Kristoff this time.
As soon as Sven laid eyes on her, he smiled.  “Boss!  How nice to see you.”
“I’m not your boss anymore, Sven.”  She smiled back at him and grabbed his hand into hers.  “Just Anna.”
He gave her hands a good squeeze and dropped his arm back on the bed.  “Just Anna, then.”
“How you feeling today, buddy?” Kristoff asked, as him and Anna sat in the two chairs beside the bed.
“Better.  Less tired.  I still hurt like a motherfucker though.”
A nurse walking by cleared her throat at hearing the curse.  Sven gave them a sheepish shrug. 
Kristoff said, “I hear they’re moving you out of the ICU later today.”
“That’s what they tell me.”
“What else have they told you?”
“That I’m lucky.”  Sven sighed.  “An inch lower and it would have been a different story.”  Then he shifted gears, clearly not wanting to talk about himself.  “What are we going to do about work, man?”
“I’m working on it.  Or rather, we are working on it.”
Sven looked between the two of them then his eyes settled on Anna.  “Thank you.”
She smiled.  “It’s nothing.”
“We’ve got an ad out there.  I’m going to start interviewing as soon as I can,” Kristoff said.
Anna hadn’t told him about the meeting with the CEO yet, and they needed to do things one at a time anyway, so she didn’t open up her mouth about it then.  She had a feeling Sven might not understand anyway for what he was going through. 
“Fuck, I’m sorry to put you in this spot.”  Sven shook his head dejectedly.
“Don’t start with that shit,” Kristoff said.  “The important thing is you’re going to be okay…”  His mouth opened again and moved like he was going to say something, then he shut it and remained silent. 
He didn’t need to say it.  All three people in the room knew it. 
-----
Kristoff sat at her kitchen table staring down at it, processing what Anna had told him about her meeting with the CEO.  To his credit, he never balked at anything she relayed.  He listened and looked to be considering everything as Anna talked, even if his brow remained furrowed in worry.
“That’s such a big step,” he said, finally looking Anna in the eyes. 
“Exactly what I thought.  But-”
“He did raise some good points,” Kristoff interrupted.
Anna nodded.  “I want you to know, whatever you decide, I am here with you every step of the way.”
His face relaxed and he gave her a soft smile.  “What did I ever do in life to deserve someone as perfect as you.”
“Ha!” Anna coughed out a fake laugh.  “Perfect, I am not.”
Kristoff shook his head slowly, smile spreading on his lips.  “To me you are.  You’re basically a goddess.”
“I am not flawless, Kristoff.”  Anna laughed and stood, walking around the table as he turned in his chair towards her.  She put her hands on his shoulders.  “But I appreciate the sentiment.”
She leaned over and kissed him and as soon as their lips met, she knew that they were going to be having a late dinner.
~   ~   ~   ~   ~
The next morning, Anna followed up with the three applications that had come in and set them up for Kristoff that afternoon at a café just a block over from the hospital.  Then she diligently cleared up pressing matters of her work and was planning on leaving to the hospital when there was a knock at her open door.
She was surprised to see Dick standing there.
“Anna,” his voice boomed.  “Have a minute?”
Anna stood immediately as he came striding into her office.  “Of course,” she answered, motioning with her hand for him to take a seat. 
He did and blatantly appraised her office.  “This suits you.  Very nice work.”
“Thank you,” Anna said, taking a seat behind her desk. 
“Built-ins are a nice touch.”
“Your old office inspired me,” Anna admitted.
“I assume your boyfriend built them?”
“Actually, Sven and I helped as well.”
Dick nodded like that was the answer he was expecting.  “I’ll get to the point, Anna.  You remember Mr. Andersen coming in the week before last?”
Anna nodded.  How could she forget.  He was the entire reason that she had to rush Kristoff and Sven in the first place. 
“Well, he is officially our client.  And I have you largely to thank for that.”
“Me?” Anna was surprised. 
“Getting the reno’s done when we asked could have easily been a disaster.  The way you run things, the way you are with people, it’s exactly what this company needs.  And I want you on my floor.”
Anna’s heart dropped.  She was not expecting this, even in knowing someone was going to have to fill the hole that Chad had left upstairs.  She was just getting into groove with her team and their new offices and now the CEO wanted to promote her again?  Her mind went a million different places at once, most of them trying to think of how she could turn him down.  And then suddenly she was blindsided by a small part of her that fantasied about quitting altogether, to get behind Kristoff and support him and Sven with their business. 
She realized she must look like an idiot with her mouth hanging open when Dick stood and said ‘think about it.’
Anna shut her mouth and stood as well, offering her hand.  He shook it just as respectfully as before. 
“Let me know by Friday,” he said, then left her office to go back to his floor.
Anna slowly sank into her desk chair, wondering what she was going to do.  Her whole world had been changing drastically, and all at once.  She felt overwhelmed.  And an immediate need to talk to Kristoff, which was a thought that calmed her.  Was it knowing that he would support her no matter what – that he would stand by her side with whatever she decided.  Or was it knowing that she’d finally found the person she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
She pondered it all on her way to the hospital and went to the fifth floor as Kristoff had texted her earlier was where Sven was placed.  When she walked into the room this time, Tilly, Sven’s parents and Kristoff were there, as well as another older couple that she had not met yet.  She glanced at Kristoff’s expression and immediately realized who they were.
His adoptive parents.  They must have just shown up, otherwise she was sure Kristoff would have texted her.  A whole new wave of nervousness ran through Anna to be finally meeting them.
“Anna,” Kristoff said, coming forward and standing in front of her with an apology in his eyes.  “This is my Ma and Pop.”
Introductions were made and Kristoff’s Ma was very forward in how happy she was that Kristoff was finally serious about someone and he stood in the corner with crimson cheeks and looking like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world.
All the while Sven lay in his hospital bed, taking it all in with eyes that suggested they were much more alert than anyone else in the room thought they were.  And not one to be ignored, he let out a loud ‘awwwwww’, and just like that, all the attention went back to him.
-----
Kristoff traced his thumb across the marking on the front of her hip as they laid naked on top of the mess they made with the covers.  His caress felt wonderful.  Anna was glad to see that his hand didn’t seem to be causing him much pain anymore.
“What kind of flower is this?”
She laughed low.  “I don’t even really know.  I just picked it out of a book.”
His hand went to her other hip and traced lightly over the butterfly.  “Same with this one?”
“Yup.  Had them done at the same time.”
“So, they don’t hold any deep meaning or anything?”
“No.  It was kind of a rebellious youth thing.  Elsa was my legal guardian for three years, and in that time, she pissed me off enough I thought getting these would be a great way to get back at her, even though I am pretty sure she still doesn’t even know I have them.”
Kristoff chuckled.  “Sven and I just about got matching tattoos once when we were drunk.”
“How come you didn’t go through with it?”
“Me.  I chickened out.”
“Aww, that’s cute.”
“Not because of the pain,” he clarified.  “It was because of the permanence of it.  I just couldn’t justify going through the rest of my life with a carpenter’s hammer and chisel crossed on my bicep.”
Anna laughed.  “Yeah, I can understand that one.”
“Do you ever regret yours?”
She shook her head.  “Nah.  Even though they don’t have meaning, every time I look at them, I’m reminded of the sense of freedom it gave me when I got them.  Like I was finally in charge of my own life.  Plus, they’re small and there’s only really one way for someone to see them on me.”  She giggled.
Kristoff leaned over and placed a kiss on each one.  “I’m glad they made you happy.”
Anna thought about letting him continue the kisses that were slowly moving back towards her mouth when the offer from the boss earlier in the day pressed on her mind yet again.  “Hey, Kristoff, can we talk about something?”
His head came up, a touch of concern on his features.  “Of course.  Anything.”
She nodded and moved to get up, shifting to the end of the bed and picking up her clothes from the floor.  “The CEO came to my office today,” she said, as she stood and wiggled into her jeans. 
“And?” Kristoff asked, getting himself dressed on the other side of the bed.
“He wants to promote me.”  Kristoff’s lack of any real surprise suggested he might have a leady known that.   “Did me mention something to you?”
“Um, yeah, in passing when we were talking last week.  I didn’t say anything because you told me you would want to stay on your floor.  Sorry, it slipped my mind when I was telling you about it.”
“It’s fine,” Anna said, slipping on her shirt and heading for the bedroom door.  “It just kind of surprised me.  I haven’t had that job for very long.”
“He see’s what an asset you are, Anna,” Kristoff said, following her into the hall and towards the kitchen.  “I’m not surprised he want’s you in a higher position.”
“Well, regardless, I am very conflicted about it.”
“I understand that.”
Anna sat at the kitchen table and Kristoff sat across from her.  “I’m not conflicted about the promotion, Kristoff.  I don’t want it, plain and simple.”
His brow furrowed with confusion.  “What are you conflicted about then?”
Anna shrugged, looking down at the table, unsure how to proceed. 
“You can tell me, Anna.”  He held out his hand for her. 
She took it and looked into his eyes.  “I don’t know if I want to work there much longer.”  As soon as she said it, she realized how much she’d meant it.   She felt a new calling in life, and it had everything to do with the beautiful man sitting across from her.
“What do you mean?” he asked gently.
“I want to work for you,” she admitted.  “I know you don’t have exactly have a job posting out there for this, but I just feel like if you are going to jump in and take the risks to grow your business, I want to help.”
His eyebrows raised and he was clearly taken aback, making Anna feel an urgent need to explain.
“I can do a lot, Kristoff.  I can do books and banking, I can gather prices, get material, answer phones and all the clerical work, of course.  I can also do payroll and HR and-”
“Anna,” he interrupted, with an incredulous smile.  “I don’t really know what to say.  I would adore to have you work with us.  But you know how small we are and that it’ll take some time to build it up to where we want it.  Are you… I mean, I assume it would be a rather large pay cut for you?”
Anna smiled.  “That doesn’t mean anything to me.  My parents left Elsa and I some money that I stashed away in a savings account.  I don’t need to worry about a pay cut.  Not to mention… we could both save a bunch of money personally if we moved in together?”
He looked shocked all over again and his mouth worked a moment before words came out.  “Anna… doesn’t that seem to be moving little fast?”
She shook her head.  She knew it was fast but one can hardly argue when being with another human felt this damn good.  “I don’t, Kristoff.  Honestly, all of the things I’ve thought about the future lately, have included you.”
His face relaxed into one of those devastatingly beautiful smiles of his.  “Mine have too.  And you’re right, timing doesn’t matter when we feel the way we feel about each other.”
His words warmed her heart.  “I guess what happened to Sven too got me thinking about how precious life really is.”
He nodded, face twitching with seriousness.  “Yeah, I know what you mean.  I’ve been thinking about that too.  And of course, I would love to live with you, Anna.”
“Good.”  She smiled.  “And I don’t want you to stress about what I said about work.  I just meant I’d love to be a part of your company if you do decide to build it up.  I know you need to talk to Sven first.”
Kristoff hummed.  “Yeah, guess I better do that tomorrow.  I wish some of those interviews would have worked out.”
Anna’s heart dropped for Kristoff again and what they were going through.  He’d explained over dinner that none of the guys he’d met with were going to work.  Then again, the ad had been for a labourer, where Kristoff needed someone more managerial, and they had talked about that at length over dinner.
Kristoff had decided he was leaning towards the direction the CEO had mentioned, to hire guys to handle everything that Kristoff and Sven would normally do, and take their managerial roles overseeing the operations instead of doing all of the manual labour.  On paper, it was a great idea.  In life however, things were rarely so simple.  They’d both agreed that one with so much success already behind him could easily lose sight of that.
Therefore, Anna had modified the Ad for a foreman and they would deal with labourers once one was in place.  Kristoff would still be on the tools in a foreman role himself, but Sven could easily take up a project manager position as he healed from his injury.  And when they had people in place, Kristoff would join him in their office, which for now was going to be the spare room in Kristoff’s townhouse.
The next step however, was as they said, to talk to Sven about it.   And neither of them knew how he would react.  Especially that Anna found herself a driving force behind putting the wheels of change in motion. 
---
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zyanova · 1 year
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Surprise, it's the same character I've been drawing for the last 3 years.
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kyouka-supremacy · 7 months
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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finnslay · 4 months
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(Little ramble/vent)
From the POV of a persecutor, what the FUCK was that ATLAS!?!?
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ayakashibackstreet · 7 months
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You know what, joining that Discord show club was a great idea, like half of my favourite PKC folks are there. And is there anything more wholesome than someone going '1!! hey, I remember that dog!! she's adorable, I'm glad she's doing well!' about a little pixel friend they made for you years ago?
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did#bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried#another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one#machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem#god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8#and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration#ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a#personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up#bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like#yayyy vacation soon ☺️#ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine#ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought#my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home#god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great#i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc#thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days#and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst#move. bc again. im barely a functional person#god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive#down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno#unrelated
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chrisbangs · 1 year
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zzz
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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the drk brainrot is so real i'm just rambling abt my thoughts on it again
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#it's probably very obvious but the drk quests r one of my favorites in the whole game#oh my god i'm a dark knight at heart really just everything abt the story means a lot to me#i love the way they touch on stuff with heroes n. light n dark stuff n justice n. love is a central theme#there's familial stuff there's platonic n sure romantic too ig n then there's also self-love n forgiveness n yeah :<<#atoning. n then. it touches a different side of the wol as the 'warrior of light' n i really really love stories like that so much#some of my other favorite uh. idk the word but aspects of ffxiv's story? would be hmmm#relating to songs. there's a lot that means a lot to me but two of the first that come to my mind would be 'to the edge' from shb msq#& 'return to oblivion' in eden!!#stuff w the ancients r my favs too in general & i love the whole eden series.#ngl there's rlly just a lot . i love in ffxiv#hehe apollo n i r doing some roulettes w our ffxiv friend rn 🥺 I'M GNA FIX THE DISCORD SERVER SOON FOR OUR FC AAAA#i missed tanking so much i'm playing gnb in prae rn hehe#i've been leveling my other classes lately so that's. mostly healers n dps but uh i'm not caught up w a lot of my job quests (oops)#so w my responsibility i will not play pld till then. my healers r all 80+ so i'll focus on my lower dps yeah bcs i can do beast tribes for#lvl 80 classes like gnb. or fates since i haven't maxed those out yet#I MISSED FFXIV LIKE THIS SO MUCH UWAHH i'll do the starlight event later n maybe farm a bit for moogle tomestone?#n maybe. do some pf stuff too n. OH I'LL FINISH THE REST OF MY SCHOOL STUFF TODAY THO#i woke up at 7 today n slept before 11 n while another dream woke me up. i slept well enough n today is good c:#i feel very productive. it is great.#while i personally love playing all the classes in ffxiv. dps is just too simple for me. i love the responsibility of tank n healer#especially in savage. i really really love both uhh job types so much idk how to say it but tank is just! i like being in the lead >.>#esp in savage fr oh my god i miss raiding so much
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imthatqueerkid · 2 years
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#crush blogging day 49#today has been all about grappling with my inability to motivate myself to do anything#and the guilt i feel for leaving my cherished dragon plushie at fire boys house#its so silly hell be like 'dragon told me this' and i have to hold myself back from announcing 'he would not fucking say that'#youve characterized my boy so incorrectly you dont even know#blorbo from my plushie collection :(( look how theyve massacred my boy#anyway at this point im trying to understand the rhyme and reason behind the desire i feel towards him#by that i mean trying to be kind to myself when i feel sexually ir sensually attracted to him#and starting to explore more of where the shame comes from#why do i feel ashamed that i want to be close to him? why do i feel dirty for wondering about whether sex is something I'd want with him?#also: why do i feel the need to over analyze my desire to kiss him?#its literally not a big deal to want to kiss someone youve been going on dates with#but nooo ive gotta ask#do i really want to kiss him or do i just think i want to? if i really want to kiss him why didn't i the other night when he wanted to too?#(answer: if i didn't want to kiss him id probably not be up at 11 pm fantasizing about it)#(and its perfectly ok for me to not act on desires when im feeling scared or nervous; those feelings can and do coexist)#ughhhhh as soon as hes gone i want him back#as soon as ive got him and hes looking at me the way he does its like i feel so safe yet so nervous and i cant do anything#except hold him#mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh see now i wish he were here so i could actually kiss him#but when he was here and down to kiss i couldn't face my fear of intimacy! how annoying is that????? (very)#this will be remedied soon because im pretty certain next time we hang out we will kiss. we will.#silly silly Jasper#fire boy#from the couch#Spotify
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shoveitevil · 3 months
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gang im still as sad as i was b4 my birthday but in a new hopeful way with way more questions so that’s interesting
#ok tag rant ehheheheheheheh#ok as of i think feb-march this year i had accepted that i just wasn’t going to transition#that it just was too hard and too expensive and the privileges of being a cis guy esp in the work im going into#are just too great to throw away#this was the point that it was becoming more clear to me that if i really tried i could be a pretty man#i have a decent jawline decent skin im on track to be taller that 6 foot big chin#so i had just decided that when i graduate i was just going to act as if it was just a phase#yeah i would be miserable for all of my life but the alternative in my head was someone still miserable but also unemployed and ugly#i’d rather be miserable looking pretty than be miserable and ugly#but i saw a reel yesterday#and i’m always very vulnerable around my birthday so i was solacemaxxing#it was about someone detransitioning bcs they couldn’t get on hormones#and at this point i had just accepted the fact that i’d never transition and the idea of me continuing my life as trans hadn’t crossed#my mind in a while#but the reel kind of reminded me exactly what i was missing out on#if i had come out to my parents the moment i started to question my gender when i was 11 i could be passing as a woman already#and ik it’s not about passing n shit and like it’s about you and not your perception but like#idk what all the forums i look at don’t get but i don’t want to be trans i want to be a woman yk#anyways i looked into it and at 14 my voice has deepened but not too much#im 5’9 which for women makes me tall but model tall not freak tall#my shoulders haven’t broadened#if i come out soon and my parents are accepting and i can get on blockers#realistically i could be passing before i’m 18#when i kind of got to that conclusion it kind of scared me yk but in a good way#and now i’m stuck with the same question i was asking almost exactly a year ago#is it worth the effort to transition
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sapsolais · 5 months
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!
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paranoidkid · 5 months
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exploding personally very bad. i have died. badly . forever and ever
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a-shade-of-blue · 21 days
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Hi everyone. Mohammed Khalil (@ahmed0khalil) has asked me to share his story, and I’m writing on his behalf. Mohammed created the donation campaign for his little brother 6-year-old Ahmed, and he aims to raise funds to evacuate his family of 8. You can see in his blog how much he loves and worries for 6-year-old Ahmed. Mohammed is only 19 years old. This is not normal. He should have been in school, not begging for our attention to try and raise enough funds so that they can buy food, water, medicine, and a chance to evacuate to safety.
In Gaza, where the sounds of bombing blend with the cries of children, Mohammed and Ahmed's family experienced days they never imagined they would endure. Mohammed (19) and Ahmed (6) have four other siblings: Fathi, Aya, Anas and Abdullah. Aya (21) is a uni nursing student and Anas (15) is also a school student. Neither of them can study anymore with the current genocide. This war is especially hard on Fathi (23), who is blind and suffering from coronary artery disease, Abdullah (11) who is autistic and does not understand what is happening, and Ahmed (6), a small child who had barely started kindergarten before his education came to a halt.
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The destruction that struck the area left them with no place to live. The sounds of explosions fill the horizon, and the homes that once sheltered them have become piles of rubble. They suddenly found themselves outside their home, homeless.
The bombing not only destroyed their home, but also severely injured Mohammed. Mohammed was sitting at the entrance of the school his family was sheltering in when three bombs were dropped in front of him. The bombs destroyed a residential tower in front of Mohammed. Dust filled the air and the resulting rubble and shrapnel fell on Mohammed, injuring him in the leg. Mohammed was so severely wounded that he could not walk, and he had to lie there, hurt and bleeding, for 2 hours before the Palestinian Red Crescent came and carried him to the hospital.
The bombing shattered the glass in the school Mohammed and his family was staying at, but thankfully the children sustained no serious injuries. Soon after, they were asked to evacuate the school immediately as there were news that the IOF were going to bomb the Abbas prison near it. And so even though Mohammed was wounded, he could not rest and wait for his leg to heal, but had to leave again with his family.
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Now they are living in a small tent in a refugee camp. Mohammed told me that they had to bathe in polluted water and the place smelled of sewage and corpses. Camp life was difficult not only because of the scarcity of food, the infectious disease, and the polluted water, but also because of the psychological torture they endure. Looking at all the devastation, and how the world seems indifferent to their suffering, Mohammed told me that they, including young innocent 6-year-old Ahmed, had begun to lose hope for a better future.
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Internet is unstable and often lacking in the refugee camp. Mohammed is using the precious time when Internet is available to tell me his story. I hope you will not turn away their calls for help. They urgently need donations to provide for shelter, food, and medicine, as well as to evacuate out of Gaza. Donations are coming in really slowly for Mohammed’s campaign, and I beg all of you, please, don't turn a blind eye to his story. 
Mohammed’s campaign has been shared by 90-ghost and I’ve also been talking extensively with him. He is a very nice person and he just really wants to help his family survive. Please, please, help Mohammed evacuate himself, his 5 siblings and his parents! Little 6-year-old Ahmed does not deserve to live in fear of falling bombs every day, and neither does Mohammed and the rest of his family. 
Really low funds! Only €1,185 raised of €50,000 target!!
Please share/reblog and donate to help a family of 8! These are children we are talking about, and my heart breaks for what they have to endure.
Please follow Mohammed and Ahmed on @ahmed0khalil to get updates on their situation!
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lilgynt · 11 months
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passed that promotion test with 100% and the tester took a note agent knows their job but isn’t very confident yeahhhhhhhhh
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finnslay · 4 months
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(Little ramble/vent)
From the POV of a persecutor, what the FUCK was that ATLAS!?!?
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saetoshis · 4 months
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꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ LET'S PLAY A GAME | kny headcanons
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⋆୨୧˚ WITH: sanemi ; giyuu ; tengen ; kyojuro ; obanai
⋆୨୧˚ SUMMARY: how much do they like to tease you?
⋆୨୧˚ MATURE CONTENT WARNINGS:
fem reader, teasing/begging, pet names [pretty girl, baby], orgasm control, mentions of dacryphilia, mentions of restraint/bondage, MDNI
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꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ SANEMI: 10/10
sanemi lives to see you yearning for his touch. he just can't get enough of your little whines and pleads for his hands on you, and the way you paw at the bulge in his pants so desperately makes his every muscle tense up in anticipation - but his favorite part is seeing just how far he can push you.
"what's that, pretty girl? you want what?" sanemi sneers, knowing fully well what you just said but he just can't help playing dumb to see how sexually frustrated you can get. he kneels over where you're laying, a hand palming the bulge in his pants nonchalantly. "this? this what you want? hm?"
"yes, please, seriously," you whine out between heaved breaths, your flushed aura making you hot and a bit irritated from how much he's withholding you. your fingers flit over your panties, finding your clit in an attempt to appease the high tension building in your body. "can't take it anymore... please, just give it to me."
"well, since you asked so nicely," sanemi jeers as he slips his pants just beyond his hips, his cock pressing against your twitching, achy clit. he lets out little grunted breaths as he rocks his hips, head catching against your sensitive nerves again and again. he can see the dissent on your face when you realize he's not slipping in anytime soon.
"what's that look, huh?" sanemi feigns innocence, adoring the way you pout and whine at him, begging so desperately to be filled up the way you want to. he sneers between a tantalizing smile, "beg me a few more times n' i'll think about it."
꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ GIYUU: 3/10
giyuu doesn't instinctively lean towards withholding himself from you, and he's never really thought about the idea of seeing you beg for him. he's not too keen with the notion of beating around the bush, as it were - and yet, all it takes is your demeanor all needy and pliable in his lap with pleads falling from your lips for his mind to wander.
"can't help it, just so horny..." you mutter through little panted breaths, letting your hips grind and roll against his clothed cock in tandem with the rise and fall of your chest. you feel giyuu's fingers flit against your thighs as his eyes wander across your frame, all until he pulls away, unusually. your eyes flicker up at his expression, and all you can pronounce is a little, "huh?"
"wanna see you do it yourself," giyuu murmurs under his breath, his pants feeling stiffer underneath where you're sitting so prettily for him. he wants to fuck you - bad, but right now he wants to see how far he can take it before you fall apart into pieces. with a little push of his hips up against you, he leers, "i know you want to."
you feel a sliver of tingles down your spine at the change in his demeanor, and your hips almost start rutting on their own. every time you make eye contact with him, you're met with a stern gaze - who would've known this side of him could turn you on so much? your voice comes out in a whimper as you let your now-wet panties grind against his bulge, "i'll do anything if you just touch me, please. fuck me- hah, can't take it."
maybe it's the way you finally look so desperate, so messy, flushed, and shuddering on his lap that causes him to finally give in - and when he does, you're really in for it.
꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ TENGEN: 11/10
tengen lives to see you a whining, teary-eyed mess just for him. he'll do anything to see you shudder, to feel you getting wetter from just one look, to even hear your pleads become more and more broken and whimpered. he just can't help but enjoy it even when you hop on top of him in attempt to get back at him.
"what's this, huh?" tengen sneers as he watches the little determined look on your face as you sink down onto his cock, refusing to move in efforts to give him a taste of his own medicine. he lets out a little chuckle at the way you cross your arms all serious and tough-like. he lets his hands glide along your hips, "really...? is this a punishment or something?"
"mhm," you hum with a nod, trying to ignore the fact that the head of his cock is poking up right against that spot that makes your knees weaken. you keep your resolve, occasionally grinding your hips to see how he reacts - maybe he'll jolt, let out a little moan - but he doesn't, and you start to feel a little discouraged. you drag your hands along his chest and his abs, pressing kisses against his neck in a desperate attempt.
"feels good, doesn't it? my cock all pushed inside you like this," tengen murmurs against your ear, his voice sending a shudder down your spine and you tighten around him just enough for him to know he's affecting you. his hands caress your waist, your back, your hips - he knows it's working, and that's pissing you off even more. "you can lemme have just a little, can't you, baby?"
it only takes a few more sickly sweet whispers from tengen's lips for him to have you bouncing on his lap, mind boggled as slick smothers messily around his shaft. maybe next time you'll try something different to tease him with.
꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ KYOJURO: 7/10
kyojuro oftentimes likes to give you what you want, as you properly deserve - although, the same can't always be said for him in bed. it's like a switch flips, and all he can desire and cultivate are those little whiny moans pleading for him to just 'keep going, don't stop.'
"don't stop what?" kyojuro murmurs with a little smirk on his face and slick covering his fingers and palm. his thumb nudges your clit ever so gently, his fingers finding their way to his tongue to clean off the mess that you've already made of them. he watches your hips jolt in desperation, and he chuckles softly in that innocent manner he always does. "need it that much, do you?"
you let out a little groan of dissent, rocking your hips in an attempt to get his thumb to circle your clit a little faster - just at least a little. he sees the way your muscles shudder in anticipation, and maybe he feels he's been a bit mean. with a little murmur of 'this what you want? here?' and his fist around his cock, he finally presses between your walls with a stifled grunt, "that's it, isn't it? right there..."
"yes, yes, fu- yes," you practically whimper, feeling elation coursing through your every nerve as he rocks his hips slowly, intentionally. each press of his cock fills the hilt of your cunt and you can feel your sanity draining each time he ruts forwards. faster, then faster, even faster still, your consciousness fades just as fast as your orgasm builds. "f-feels so good, fuck."
kyojuro lets out a chuckled sneer as he caresses your cheek, hips rocking hard against yours. "feels better after being patient, doesn't it? maybe i'll have to tease you more often."
꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ OBANAI: 6/10
teasing manifests for obanai as more of a power play than anything else. his whims aren't always consistent; sometimes he'll make you touch yourself without his help at all, other times he'll keep your hands restrained so there's no way you could even help yourself if you wanted to. but this time, it's a bit different.
"shh, shh... what did i say? wait," obanai murmurs lowly as his fingers curl intentionally against that spot that makes you feel like you're falling apart at the seams. his other hand finds your clit, circling it in tandem with each press of his fingers inside of you. you shudder desperately beneath him, voice coming out in hitched mews. obanai repeats himself, "no cumming 'til i say so."
you nod your head in obedience weakly, finding it harder and harder to fight the jolts of pleasure wracking your limbs. each aching curl of his digits makes your whole spine tingle, and you use all of your strength to hold back. that is, until he swaps his fingers for the hard cock in his fist. "please..."
"please, what? i told you," obanai lets out a hitched breath as he slips himself between your walls, finding your saccharine, desperate pussy an immediate relief for the unforgiving throb in his cock. he pushes your thighs apart and watches you shiver, curling over you broodingly, "no cumming 'til i say so."
you hold onto your sanity for dear life, but the wet smacks and lewd moans filling the room are enough for you to teeter over the edge of oblivion. you're lucky that obanai is right there with you, gripping your waist and fucking into you with a wanton need - it seems this time you'll just barely make it in time.
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SAETOSHIS 2024. do not copy/repost.
tagging: @suyacho
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