#so I am on 'maria's agency' side here!

[katyspersonal]

who do you think fucked up worse…gehrman or maria?

This is an interesting question, and I kind of didn't think of it before! Time to take a closer look at their crimes I guess. Some of these will be held on the possibilities and 'safe assumptions' though and addressed for the full picture!

1) Both were involved in Fishing Hamlet massacre!

With Maria, we can conclude as much because she discarded her weapons in the well at the place specifically. Her version in the Nightmare realm, a Hunter again, is supposed to be what punishes her, and she is focused on keeping Kos/OoK away from rummaging through. Considering the nature of the Nightmare, as well as the Doll who has spiritual connection with her, it should come from her guilt and regrets rather than.. I dunno, discarding the hunt over natural 'character development' and just picking a cool place to forsaken her past!

Gehrman sleeps better according to the dialogue Doll has after you kill OoK and free it's soul, so if it tortured him so, I think it is safe to say he had to be personally involved too rather than stay back while his students did the job:

They both were involved with Byrgenwerth, following their quest for obtaining the eyes of the dwellers from their skulls, and I suppose cord of OoK?

The thing about this point is that the description is written as though it was Gehrman's curiosity which ruined Maria's "idealisation" of him, or WOULD ruin it had she learned of it! This makes me wonder whether she was really involved in Byrgenwerth all that much, or whether she was aware of the real purpose of Fishing Hamlet massacre beforehand? Her goal, within the Nightmare, is stated to mercy-kill us so we don't allow that curiousity corrupt us to the point of "rummaging through corpse" and similar things, further supported by her visceral attack being an embrace if it is lethal!

I am just saying that here the balance might slightly shift towards making Gehrman 'worse' than her. Maybe she was not aware that it all was not just killing "monsters" but also a pregnant mother with her divine baby, but "well you didn't ask :/". Maybe Gehrman deceived her to use her aid. Maybe he didn't think it would be a big deal for her seeing that Maria was also interested in evolution through talking with Great Ones, and assumed she'd be just as callous about which means to accomplish the goals with?

2) Both were grave-robbing, or at least okay with that!

This one is a little less obvious, but Tomb Prospectors were not the first to go to the Chalice Dungeons! ...It were actually Willem, Dores and Gatekeeper lol:

BUT ALSO it were Old Hunters! We can see the remnants of it by Old Hunter Vitus being one the summons in Chalice Dungeons, hear Gehrman encourage us to go into the Chalice Dungeons to become stronger as via "tradition" of the Old Hunters,

and the fact that one of the things that torture Maria (again, remember that Nightmare Realm is Hell that punishes) is a Chalice:

(A video ( x ) for a better look at the Chalice from a figure)

I'd say that it is not very nice to disturb the undead Pthumerians just struggling in remains of their civilisation! Interesting thing: we can conclude they are even staying there to protect the Great Ones or their remains!

There has been some sort of civil war between ancient great-ones-respecting Pthumerians and who late became Cainhurst nobles! Maria, ironically, fell onto the side of "entitled guys" descendants! But yes, I could see why bullying zombie guys to get more history and archeology relics from them might not seem like much for her at start. Experience in the Fishing Hamlet likely retroactively ruined this period of her life for her: delving into Chalice Dungeons was likewise 'not leaving the corpse alone'. The remaining Pthumerians were right having some honour and dignity. So, that came to haunt her in the form of Pthumeru Chalice. Gehrman is.. well he's here too I guess dfshfdhs

3) Both knew a little too much about Laurence's shady business and did nothing?

Old Hunters used to be friends with Healing Church's Hunters and even had their workshops located close to one another! Gehrman was friends with Laurence and Ludwig, who are both quite strongly involved with Moon Presence (Ludwig's sword and guidance, Laurence's affiliation being known since Byrgenwerth times), as well as the key figure in creation of Hunter's Dream:

This was most likely a bait-and-switch, seeing how the cord itself is still in the real Workshop, and not in the grasp of Moon Presence (unlike, say, Wet Nurse taking Mergo's cord)! I think the purpose of creation of the Hunter's Dream was to "buy time" for the research conceived by the scientists! Remember: Gehrman was known to have "madness of curiosity" that Maria resented, or at least would resent had she known! He might have been fully aware of what Laurence wanted to do and support it! My point here, that with such proximity, he must have known of all Laurence's crimes and agreed with them!

Maria was at least overseer of the Clocktower's Research Hall, which, again, was just beta!Choir.

This last line IS a bit confusing, because it makes it sound as though the nerds looking for the Eyes Inside and the Blood Ministers got split. Laurence and Ludwig make it weird, as Moon Presence is also an Eldrich creature and Ludwig is for sure full of eyes! What also makes it strange is that Choir, and then School of Mensis, are both upper echelons of the Healing Church, but Laurence is supposed to be above both of them.

I think this can be worked with! Let's say what if Choir formed after Laurence's death, which also happened after Maria's death, and Vicars after him were somewhat "powerless" and walked over by Choir and Mensis, only leaders in the name! But that still leaves the bit that the mentioned "division" happened after Choir was formed! Maria and Adeline, however, are locked to the existence of the Research Hall, so, the timeframe when doctors and blood ministers were 100% working together! We find the Eye Pendant that opens the access to the Research Hall in Laurence's hand, and human Skull of Laurence on the platform that hides the secret elevator to that Research Hall. Again, by the Nightmare Logic, they must be connected with Laurence's sins: he started this research, or sponsored it, or was overseeing it, and so on.

This point is not an absolute thing though, because one or both of them might be freed from guilt here. Maybe Gehrman was not as informed and agreeable as we could assume and Laurence did lead him around? Maybe Maria wanted but could not do anything being caught in the web of complicated connections, blackmail and risks for the people she cared about?

4) Both are willingly involved in questionable practices (Maria with research, Gehrman with the cycle of Dream and Hunt)

This point I feel like transcends the morality a little bit, as it touches the matter of 'it is bad if you do it, but it is also bad if you DON'T do it'. I really love Soulsborne universes for having guts to say "you can't win, just pick your poison", but I think it is still worth addressing!

It is up to interpretation in which quantity Maria is involved with the Research Hall! Nothing states whether she founded it, joined in the research later, stepped in and turned the tides (ba dum tss) of the research, or simply was a caretaker/nurse/etc of the broken mess while Research Hall was getting ready for a bit of rebranding. She can be very guilty, or she can be barely guilty but in either case if that was her "redemption arc" that was a pretty bad way to go about it. ...or was it?

Fauxsefka turns people into Celestial Emissaries so they physically can't become beasts instead, and is even stated to be a hero / heroic researcher by Miyazaki:

First, I don't do Death of the Author (in terms of interpreting media I mean, not in terms of a style of writing)! Like, nope. Never. It is just not for me. Creator's word is the final for me; Fauxsefka is the good guy in the story, apparently, and it makes sense considering the fundamentally broken place characters are in! Maria has similarities with Fauxsefka: not only both of them have Cainhurst roots, but also both of them seem to favour 'Stars' line of evolution for humans!

Whereas other patients are afraid of the horrors of the Deep Sea, a concept Miyazaki could not get over well into DS3, Adeline desires them! Other patients seems to have gotten it right, and you can see one of them also clings to Maria mentally to "not drown"; Adeline "didn't understand"! The balcony that Maria wants Adeline to go to so she can forsaken the Deep Sea and seek something "happier" holds unique kind of patients who can shoot cosmic arcane spells:

Herself, Maria is associated with these lumenflowers: their petals are all over her boss arena, and the way to her lays through a much bigger batch of flowers, where Living Failures, other 'Stars' Kin are, whose song lyrics also feature lines 'ave stellar' and 'ave Maria'!

So, how this is different from what Fauxsefka is doing, who is stated to be as much of a good person as possible within this context and with the burden of her knowledge? Fauxsefka was doing more or less rinse-and-repeat practice, with maybe a few patients not surviving the procedure but we don't know what happened: maybe that person was already at the brink of death and she tried to make them live like this.

^ This guy I mean. Maria, on the other hand, is in the time period where the doctors and scientists were only testing the waters (BA DUM TSSS) (ok I will stop) and it was not SO certain what was at the stake, what were the alternatives, what was awaiting the humanity. It is even possible that the beasts problem was not yet bad to the point of "you'll either become a beast, be eaten by a beast or become a Kin, humanity is DONE for!" ! This was an unethical research at the cost of real people! The weight of Maria's sin here really depends on the interpretation, though

As for the cycle of Dream and Hunt, this is complicated and lingers on one's interpretation of what the purpose of the Dream even IS! Its existence provides two things: 1) a hunter who is immortal for the night, thus can sustain the beasts with efficiency like no other, but also effect the continuity of the night ( x ) and 2) supposed sustenance to the Great One Flora of the Moon, who holds the hunt as a concept!

I used to be a bit more set on the idea that if beasts are not sustained and hunted, they will simply overpower those who are yet humans and eat them! It is a self-feeding cycle of people needing to self-defend from beasts, thus having to consume the blood as urgent means of healing and power-up since beasts are too strong, thus risking to become beasts themselves because the blood they consumed during that hunt corrupts them. So, the Hunter's Dream would be a good thing, as it'd help to 'buy time' during nights of the hunt in which not only beasts are more active but Great Ones too! While the Dreaming Hunter holds everything together, the greatest minds of the Healing Church can efficiently study the ways to end beasthood, or ANY problem of humanity, once and for all! It is just better to throw the hunting resources on the Dream, so the scientists don't worry about the beasts and can focus on research. However, I almost forgot that:

This implies that had there not been Mensis Ritual ongoing, people WOULD have the chance to simply 'wait away' the beasthood problem. That, since Rom is not stopping Mensis Ritual but just conceals it, what really makes the inner beast within everyone who consumed the blood inevitably come out is Mergo's cry that draws the Bloodmoon close!

So yeah, the point about Hunter's Dream being helpful for the research of evolution still stands, especially under assumption that the deal with Moon Presence helped to bring more Eldrich Arcane close for "feeding" her. The point about how if the beasts are not hunted they'll simply eat everyone, though, is vague. It is safer to assume that the Hunter's Dream and Research Hall both are both example of hubris of man even if approached differently. Attempts to draw in something dangerous and horrifying, but it is "justified risk" because if you manage to 'tame' arcane/blood, sure, humanity will prosper!

Like... yeah, sure, there IS dangerous and undesireable nature of man that ruins everything and might or might not still linger in humanoids' genes after Loran. But did humanity ASK any of you guys to keep trying to fix it with so many victims and sacrifices? Like, was it WORTH it?

This point is closely tied to 'knowing Laurence's bad antics and doing nothing', yeah. Maria didn't seem to like blood ministration very much, as she disapproved of Adeline becoming a Blood Saint, but she also didn't even approve of blood antics of her own clan! I am not sure what would be her opinion on the Hunter's Dream had she lived to the point when it was created, just that she herself is not willing to ever hunt, so I am leaving this point aside. Is this just blood ministration that she opposes but proximity with a Great One Moon Presence would be something she can see the potential of? Or would she and Gehrman have a pointless cat fight about whose methods are better when they are both hubris of man? In both versions they are 'guilty'! Besides:

In the end none of THIS matters either and everyone was fooled ( x ). The blood offering is a blood offering in any way; whether it is through spilling blood violently during the hunt, or offering the blood's 'red' with how celestial Kin all bleed red. Moon doesn't care what paints it red, in the end.

___________________________________

My conclusion is: both of these characters fucked up almost equally! I think the balance shifts just a little bit and Maria is slightly better than Gehrman since she had some limitations set on how far she was willing to go. Her motivation was not in "curiosity" but strictly in helping humanity, even if in unfair ways, which is apparently not the case for Gehrman?

I'll say this though, NOW I am hooked on the idea of Maria and Gehrman being petty "rivals" ideologically (for as long as they could before Maria's own demons caught up with her). Especially since neither approach is better than the other and they are both cringe loosers! Again, lost comedy gold over Fromsoft making Gehrman's tender and warm feelings for her before and after her death plain. What is not lost, however, is the fact that the two should just kick Laurence and go home :pensive:

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Uniform Kink with Maria Hill ~Kinktober 2023

Happy October 20th!!! On the docket for the day is a Uniform Kink. This time with another Marvel character and SHIELD agent, Maria Hill. Hope you Enjoy!! 🖤🎃

Previous Day <—found here!

Kinktober 2023 <—Here!!

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, implied smut, uniform kink, teasing, flustering, alcohol consumption, kissing, implied strip teasing, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

“Wear your uniform, today…?” your girlfriend curiously asked through the phone.

You chuckled and processed her request in light shock.

“I… Ok…!” You laughed, “But only if you wear yours too…”

Maria laughed over the phone in response.

“Deal.” She declared, “See you at home.”

“Bye, See you!” You hummed, before the call ended.

You put your phone away and continued filling out your paperwork for the arrest you had made this morning. You were a cop at the MPDC, the DC police department, and your girlfriend worked for the intelligence agency, SHIELD.

The brunette had called you with a new idea for the bedroom that you had to admit, you found quite intriguing… Maria had suggested you wear your uniform.

After that call, you couldn’t wait to get home. As soon as the clock struck 5pm, you were out the door. You drove home in eager anticipation. You unlocked your door and dropped your keys at the side table on your way in.

You had beaten Maria home, so you put your things away, waiting in the kitchen for the brunette. You made sure to keep your entire uniform on, and you grabbed a bottle of red wine, pouring yourself a glass as you waited.

About thirty minutes later, the lock of the door finally jingled. You then heard the door open and shut, followed by your girlfriend walking into the kitchen. She dropped her things on the counter, and then shifted her gaze to you.

“Damn.” Maria sighed, not holding her gaze back from racking up and down your frame.

You chuckled lightly, grabbing and offering her a glass of the wine. The brunette thanked you with a kiss and accepted it whole heartedly. You both then migrated to the living room, sitting and lounging with your glasses of alcohol. Maria crossed her leg over the other, eyeing you in your uniform once more.

“You really are hot, you know that?” The woman husked, before taking a sip of her wine.

“Me or the uniform…?” You teased the brunette.

“Oi!” Maria scolded playfully,

“Both…” she suggestively cooed, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Fair.” You gave her a nod and chuckled, taking a sip of your own wine.

“You don’t look too bad yourself either, Baby…” you hummed, finishing the sip of your wine and taking the moment to admire Maria in her uniform.

It was all black and it hugged her perfectly. There was a zipper in the front center which if you pulled down just a bit, you would get the perfect vantage of her tits, you thought to yourself.

Like the woman could read your mind, her hand went for the zipper, pulling it down a teasing amount, where you could clearly see her tits. She raised her brow at you in anticipation of your reaction. You widened your eyes slightly and blushed lightly in response, hiding your stare behind another sip from your glass.

Maria laughed at the reaction that she had pulled from you.

“Don’t be a tease…” you grumbled, taking another sip of your alcohol.

“You first” the woman chuckled in amusement.

“What…?! I am not teasing.” You exclaimed in a huff defensively.

“Yea well your body says otherwise…” Maria teasingly cooed, shrugging and taking a sip of her wine.

“Well why don’t you do something about it…?” You challenged the woman.

She paused from sipping from her glass and set it down, to look at you. Maria then got up and sauntered over to you. She stood in front of you, placing her arms on either side of the couch, so that she effectively trapped you there between the couch and her own body.

“You are so sexy in that uniform” Maria breathed out, beginning with a sigh.

You set your wine aside and gulped. Her words made you go a shade darker in the face. The brunette obviously liked the reactions she was drawing from you.

“I want to sit back and watch you strip tease for me in that…” the woman huskily told you in a hushed tone, while meeting your gaze the entire time.

Your breath hitched and another rush of heat went to your face. You nodded slowly.

“Or… I want you to pretend like I’m in trouble with you in that uniform…” Maria continued huskily, “Or maybe I’ll punish you while in uniform…”

Your eyes widened and your face was now tomato red.

“I—Yes.” You choked out, “Yes to all of it”

Maria smiled and stood up, releasing you from her entrapment. She gave you hand to stand up.

“Good. Then you and me have a long night…” she hummed in delight.

~~~

Next Day <—Chocking Kink!!

Maria Hill Masterlist

Kinktober 2023 Masterlist

[fancifulplaguerat]

Actually. While I have a moment. This will not be my best analytical work but I have been going mad over a particular dialogue that Daniil can have with a Town Man, two specific sections which occur when they discuss the Kains.

Man: What do you think of the Kains?

Player: I have a soft spot for resolute, outstanding, and bold people. Their kind is rare nowadays.

Man: You're right... the Kains are conquerors by nature. They fear nothing. They're up in arms and ready to overthrow any rules, any dogmas, any taboos. You have that in common with them, don't you? Well... every coin has a flip side.

Player: And what is that?

Man: The Kains are insane. Possessed, like lead performers on the stage. They're cruel; without a moment's hesitation they would sacrifice anything in the world to achieve their brilliant goals. To their credit, their sacrificial list always starts with themselves. lt has always been that way.

An alright firstly I adore this simply because it is rather delightful characterization but ! What really interests me here is the man characterizing Daniil as the Kains' flip side, because I think it's interesting the characterize Daniil through the Kains and vice versa; that both here and with Daniil we see the pattern of cruelty or disregard that is accompanied by a penchant for self-sacrifice, and I have always adored this line for likewise framing the Kains as conquerors, just as Daniil. That alignment with the utopians and conquest isn't subtle or novel, given the. You know. Conquering nature, but still ! The poetic hubris of it all !

Anyway. A second dialogue option plays out thus:

Man: What do you think of the Kains?

Player: Nothing good, I suppose. Their notion of communication is rather annoying.

Man:  It is. And their policies are peculiar as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to sell the idea to you... I only know that they are very fond of you. It's not easy to win their favour like that.

Player:  Really? And how did I win it?

Man: Thanks to Maria, I guess. She has that supernatural intuition of hers, her mother's heritage. She can feel the resolve within you, she can read your intentions; that makes her believe that you're going to help us all.

I actually had recently been bothered by how quickly the Kains latched on to Daniil (Simon and Nina saying that they love him on Day 11 lmao), and assumed that Maria had foreseen his actions but. This kind of compels me more, the suggestion that she did not see his future but just his resolve and intentions, that it's less about his actual actions and instead what he is capable of doing. I find that far more delectable, because in truth I am often a little bored by visions and fate, the idea that the Kains just Saw Daniil preserving the Polyhedron. It also suggests more agency within Daniil's character, more choice; as for the Kains, I still find it a little odd that they are so willing to entrust themselves to Daniil based upon Maria's intuition; it feels almost like desperation, which I prefer to read in here. Honestly I think it could equally just be that they trust Maria that much, and Maria trusts herself, but again I find it more fun to imagine that they are desperate and have staked their future on Daniil. WAIT WAIT I JUST REALIZED. AN EVEN MORE DELECTABLE PARALLEL. Do you see what I am seeing. Daniil staked his life on Simon Kain and Simon Kain staked his life on Daniil !!!!

[captaincapsicle83]

The Avenger

The Avengers Initiative

Masterlist

Previous Part

Part 3

Setting: New York, 2011

You had been here before.

Okay, not here here. That wasn’t the truth. You had never been here, to this facility, but you had been here, in this moment. About a year ago, actually, when you first met Tony Stark.

A woman, who had brown hair and felt twice as threatening as Pepper had, is leading you through a hallway, a long one with tiled floors and glassy walls.

219 west fourth street, New York City, New York.

You remember the threatening letter, okay not threatening but it had that aura, that arrived in the mail. You were set to meet at this address, in the lobby, where a woman named Maria Hill would escort you.

That was this woman’s name, who you were following. As you walked, she yapped, talking about the building. It’s history, something about a shield.

“You know,” she said. She was stopped in front of a door, and you were paying attention for once because the walking had stopped, and you didn’t have much of a thought to get lost in. “Fury normally doesn’t do this?”

“Who?”

She seemed to ignore you, “His style is more, show up out of the blue, and surprise you. Like he did to your buddy Stark.”

Before you can ask more questions, she opens the door, and steps aside to let you walk through.

The windows in the room went floor to ceiling, about four sections of window that went across, giving a view of the city below. The room had a thin gray carpet as flooring, one of the kinds you can barely call carpet, it was so flat.

There was a long table, with about 16 chairs around it. It wasn’t rounded per se, more of a rectangle without the sharp edges. Like the shape of a smart phone. At the far side of the table, from where you stood, a man leaned with both his hands balled into fists on the table, presumably to better support himself.

He struck you as dramatic. He was dressed in all black, a black shirt, you could see the waist of black pants, and a long black coat. You couldn’t see from your vantage point, but you assumed his socks and shoes were black too. His face wore a scowl, whether a resting bitch face or he was actually upset you didn’t know, and a black eyepatch.

Maria Hill gave you a grim smile, one you didn’t have the time to return before she left the room, shutting the door behind you. You suddenly worried if this was a trap from the beginning. Worried the “tell no one” message was another play in the game.

Not a good one however. You told Tony, his friend Rhodey, Pepper, Jarvis, and the lady at Starks front desk the exact address of where you would be.

“Hello, Miss Murdock,” the man said. He took his hands off the table, stepping back ever so slightly from the table, straightening himself up. He gestured around himself, “you like my new place.”

Slightly unsure of yourself, and this situation, you nodded.

“Normally we work down at the triskelion. Ever been?”

You shook your head.

“You don’t know who I am, so I?”

Another shake of your head, and the man dipped his own and chuckled.

“My names Nicholas Fury. I’m the director of SHIELD, which is an intelligence agency, and a special law enforcement organization.”

“What’s it stand for?”

“Hmm?”

“Is SHIELD an acronym for something?”

“A couple different things actually. It started out as “Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage and Law-Enforcement Division.” Then it changed to “Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.””

“Why’d it change?”

“Politics,” Fury chuckled. “Have a seat.”

“No, thank you, sir.”

“Cautious,” he asked, amused.

“Are you?” You asked, eyebrows raised. He was standing on the other side of the room still, as far from you as possible without jumping out the window.

The smile wasn’t present on his face, but still in his voice, “Now why would I be?”

You maintained eye contact as you pulled out a chair on your side of the head of the table.

“Miss Murdock, you’re an impressive individual,” Fury says, sitting down on his side. He reaches under the table, and pulls out a tan file with a small logo on it. It reminded you of an atom, except the middle was more oval shaped.

“I know,” you say, and by the look you get, the notion hits you that he wasn’t exactly done talking. Oh well.

“I want you on a team,” He says.

“What kind of team?” You ask.

Nick Fury adjusts himself in his chair, sitting a little straighter, frowning to himself at your file. You couldn’t help but wonder what was written in it.

“You work with Stark,” Fury stated. You got the sense he was a man who knew everything. Like even if he were to ask you a question, he would already know the answer.

“Yes,” you confirm, still sure you didn’t need to. He knew.

“I talked to him about this…he wasn’t very receptive,” Fury drops the file, and stands up from his chair. “Miss Murdock…I want you to be an avenger.”

You looked at him, took in the tone of his voice. It gave off the weight of what he was telling you. It was important. Your mind raced around in circles, worrying as you always did about a slip up.

And you sort of slipped up, as it seemed you always did, as the only things your gums could flap out was, “A what?”

[thedamageofherdays]

This week's (16-08-2021 - 22-08-2021) reading log is here. This week's reading log is super duper long and filled with lots of good things (my apologies for the long post, I really could not find a good spot to do a read more). I discovered some new favourites and re-read some old favourites and while I had an intense week personally at least the fics I read were absolutely phenomenal. I do recommend checking out the warnings as some fics are a bit heavier/angstier and you might wanna be prepared. Most of these fics are Stucky but there are a couple of other ships in between.

If you are looking for more fun and/or good things make sure to check out the @marveldisabilitycelebration as well to see all the awesome art, fics, meta, etcetera people created! And while I am mentioning events I am a mod for let me also just quickly mention that sign-ups for the @stuckygiftexchange are still open until the end of the month <3

Favourites are marked with a 🌻 Fics that are only available to AO3 users are marked with a 🔒 and Tumblr fics are marked with a 🍀

🌻 The Bends by dreamsinthewitchouse @dreamsinthewitchouse [Danbeau, side Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Memory is not a house you can just walk back into after finding the key you thought you’d lost. It’s a thing you wade into and out of, rewriting it as it rewrites you.

It’s not without its rewards, either - recovering a memory about Maria and Monica, about her life, feels better than socking a thousand bad guys in the face, better than all the photon blasts in the world.

Then again, realising there’s still memories she can’t access, even after all this time, feels like drowning in space.

Not the one out there - the one inside her.

🌻 Sweet & Salty by musette22 @musette22 [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Idiots in love. That's it. That's the fic.

When life gives you lemons by moonythejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 34k words, Explicit] (11/15 chapters)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

🍀 SamRhodey Tumblr Fic by ipoiledi [SamRhodey, ? words, Teen?]

“Wilson, this is Rhodey; Rhodey, Wilson,” Tony Stark says, and suddenly some six foot tall sexy guy is shoved right in front of Sam, and they both stumble a little, bumping into each other. This is a crowded party. “You guys have things in common, right?” Stark asks. “Uh, Army stuff. Talk about that. I hate wallflowers; stop wallflowering and talk to each other.”

Shorteralls by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 6k words, Explicit]

The first time Bucky ever saw Steve Rogers, he was struck by how Neanderthal-like his response was. It was immediately followed by a bout of mental scolding. The second time was just about the same. The third time, it was actually appropriate for Bucky to start a conversation with him, at which point he was determined to be the gentleman.

No such luck. Steve Rogers is, always has been and always will be, a relentless flirt. These days, Bucky's Neanderthal-ist feelings about Steve are consensual and highly appreciated. More so now that they're having a baby.

what the fuck are perfect places anyway by tigerlilycorinne [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Steve clears his throat and stands. “Well, I should head in. I might want to begin packing.”

Bucky stills. “You won’t,” he says, trying to sound commanding. It only comes out uncertain. “Don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Maybe not tonight,” he says, and Bucky knows they’ll be discussing this again soon.

“Then stay. Play… play cards with me or something.”

Steve’s eyebrows jump up, his mouth tugging up in another of his bemused smiles that do things to Bucky’s insides, but he drops his hand from the doorway and steps back into Bucky’s room. Somehow, Bucky feels as if he’s won—not the war, just the battle.

Steve won’t stay forever. But he’ll stay for cards.

Steve and Bucky, on the run after Civil War (with a few alterations to canon), are laying low in Wakanda. But they can’t stay there forever.

🌻 honestly thought i’d be dead by now, but what you can trust is that i need your touch by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 105k words, Explicit]

Bucky is 37 years old; he’s unmarried, hasn’t had a Sub of his own, is definitely not ripped, comfortable at his job as an Advanced Practice RN at Brooklyn General ER, and just got his Five Years coin from AA.

Steve is 26 years old; he’s unmarried, his last and only Dom has Alzheimer's, he's worryingly muscular, uncomfortable in his job as the government’s poster Alpha for masculinity and strength, and worries more than he should about his BMI.

Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky meet initially in a not-cute moment. Bucky’s tired as shit thanks to the sudden alien invasion that shook New York and Steve is tired as shit because he hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes at a time in – well, since 1936, probably. Bucky’s Alpha instincts get irritated at the sudden presence of another "Alpha" into his territory and Steve’s suppressed submissive tendencies latch onto this grumpy bachelor Alpha and he only suppresses it further.

Bucky’s grumpiness and Steve’s duckling impressionism aside, both of them are a mess. But since both of them are a mess? Their messes seem to fit pretty well together.

Deep Sea Diving by Aida Ronan [Stucky, 5k words, Explicit]

Steve's wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

honey, make this easy by steebadore [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

Bucky likes the way he looks. His silk button up with the tiny gold polka dots feels soft on his skin and is tailored perfectly; no pulling at his chest or belly. His hair falls in shiny dark waves and his skin is smooth and dewy. He looks expensive. He looks taken care of. He looks like Steve’s.

🌻 let's take it back to the start by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

How it all began.

This sleepwalking through my life. by barthelme [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

The internet is an interesting place and when Bucky came home (or, when he came to live with Steve), Steve did a lot of research. Apparently, it’s not safe to wake a sleepwalker. He assumes that waking a sleepwalker with traumatic dreams and PTSD is beyond just being frowned upon.

And he tells himself--has told himself--that this is safer for Bucky. That if he were to stop him and wake him up, that Bucky would be mortified to be slurping on his best friend’s cock. That all of the improvements he’s made would be lost, would be repressed, would be just--

They’d be back at square one.

So he lets Bucky do it.

🌻 the way i've been craving by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

"Lunch break at 12:30. My office. Hope you’re hungry…"

It’s the ellipsis that sends Bucky’s insides swimming warmly, his heart beating twice as fast against his ribs where he sits in class. Senator Rogers is concise, direct, to the point. Without an ellipsis this is lunch, this is a meeting. With it though?

This is a booty call.

nasty but classy by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

“No, you don’t have to know the purpose, that doesn’t matter. Nat showed me this challenge where couples drink a lot of wine and get drunk together but they can’t touch each other. And whoever touches the other first has to...has to give the other head.”

🌻 Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same by giselleslash [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

Greetings to the New Brunette by victoria_p (musesfool) [Stucky, 10k words, General]

"You said he should have a hobby. That it would help."

"I meant, like, knitting or coin collecting. Motocross, if he was feeling antsy. A baby's not a hobby. It's lifetime commitment."

🌻 Rogers & Barnes: Partners by triedunture [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky have to pose as a couple for a mission. Nat insists it really is the only option. She's checked.

The complication: unbeknownst to even Natasha, Steve and Bucky's friendship has been rocky ever since Bucky confessed his tender feelings and Steve left him out in the cold. Can asexual, completely-in-love-with-his-angry-best-friend Steve complete the mission and win Bucky's heart?

(The answer is yes. Yay!)

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by biblionerd07 [Stucky, 4k words, General]

Bucky's therapist is worried he's using Steve as a crutch and wants him to try going on outings without Steve. It wouldn't be terrible, honestly, if Bucky could just manage to open his mouth and say something to Steve.

I'll hold my breath by Little_Lottie (tfwatson) [Stucky, 8k words, Mature]

Sometimes Bucky’s hands flex in Steve's direction. Neither of them knows exactly why, but at least one of them has a hunch.

Bucky touches everything but Steve, even though Steve is all he really wants to touch.

Start from the Beginning by Mumble_Bee [Stucky, 13k words, Explicit]

What about a sex pollen fic where the pollen-ed one doesn’t remember getting hit in the face with a sex flower, and wakes up midway through the depollenating?

Or: the one where Steve wakes up on his back with a stranger buried balls-deep in his ass.

Match by emphasisonem [Stucky, 4k words, Mature]

The situation’s actually kind of funny from the right perspective, Bucky thinks as he reads the message for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s finally matched with a hot, funny guy. Tall and broad and clean cut. An absolutely breathtaking smile. Bucky’s walking wet dream. And he’s good. They haven’t messaged on the app, but Bucky already knows him.

He knows him because Steve Rogers is an art history professor at his university. His art history professor.

Best friends and married since childhood by StuckySituation [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Inspired by @/peterssquill's post in tumblr: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

~♥~ ♥~ ♥~

“Natasha, stop trying to set me up with every woman you meet, I’m-”

“Too shy? Too scared?”

“No, I’m-”

“Too busy? You’re mostly retired these days, not a good excuse anymore.” Natasha smirks and then drawls: “Or just too gay?”

Steve flushes at that, even if isn’t true -- he’s bisexual, not gay. “Let it go, Nat, I’m not looking for anything. I’m already married, for fuck’s sake.”

Clearly not what she expected. “What.”

Steve grimaces. He didn’t mean to tell anyone that, ever.

“Sorry, can’t talk about it right now!” he says and jumps out of the plane.

Nobody Should Be Alone on a Holiday by emphasisonem [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

“So, um-” Bucky begins speaking again, pulling Steve from his less-than-work-appropriate thoughts. The brunet has shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark slacks, and he’s shifting from one foot to the other as he smiles shyly. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Steve grins, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. Bucky swallows deeply as one of his hands comes up to pull at the collar of his button-up, and Steve can’t help following the motion of his Adam’s apple.

“I was, uh-” Bucky continues- “That is, I heard you don’t have Thanksgiving plans?”

In which Bucky finds out that Steve's going to be alone on Thanksgiving and invites his coworker to spend the holiday with him.

🌻 It's Been A Long Season Through by thiccbuckybarnes @thiccbuckybarnesfic [Stucky, 49k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes is in desperate need of a change in scenery, which is why he makes the foolhardy decision to quit his job, leave his asshole of a fiance, pack up his life, and move to his grandfather’s old farm all within a single day.

He expects confusion, hardship, and maybe even failure. But love? He wasn’t expecting that.

--

Or, a Stucky Stardew Valley AU that nobody but me wanted and that’s ok.

oh, peach pit, where'd the hours go? by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 10k words, Explicit]

Can't see the forest for the trees.

--

Or, Steve learns that just because he and Bucky got their happily ever after, it doesn’t mean the past won’t come back to bite them.

I'll find my way by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 725 words, Teen]

Steve had watched Bucky fall, and nothing had been the same since.

AU-gust day 19: Daemons

special delivery by glim @glim [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

It's not that Steve's bad at taking care of himself when he gets sick; he just wishes he didn't have to all the time.

At least he can order most of what he needs online. That's some small comfort, that he can have soup and ice cream and everything else brought to his door.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

🌻 Rock On! by millesable @marvelousescapism [Clintasha, 700 words, General]

“Hey, Romanoff!”

He lifted his hand, index finger and pinky finger raised, thumb out, all other fingers tucked. Their secret sign; their confession for the world to see, safe in the knowledge that the world wasn’t listening.

“Rock on!”

🌻 You Like the Way I Look by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

Bucky sidles up to him, hand boldly coming to rest on his chest. “What about you, big guy? Care for a dance?” Steve watches Bucky’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction, somehow already knowing he’s got Steve on the hook.

A decade out of the ice, Steve Rogers returns to New York. Reeling from a battle against the Chitauri, a night with the troublesome Bucky Barnes might be just what he needs.

Join the Rebellion by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 765 words, Teen]

Bucky knew he shouldn't be out after curfew, but he couldn't resist the urge. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it was where he wanted to be.

AU-gust day 20: Dystopia

🔒 Five Days in December by mywingsareonwheels @mywingsareonwheels [Evanstan, 4k words, Teen]

“Shit shit shit shit...” muttered Chris to himself, glad that the sound of piped Christmas carols was drowning out his swearing amid the picture books. Most of the store was heaving even though it was Sunday, he’d been recognised at least three times, finding presents for all of his nieces and nephews was proving far more of a headache than expected, and he’d just sent a pile of copies of "Strictly No Elephants" tumbling off the bookshelf.

He scrambled about trying to pick them all up, and then dropped them again as someone bumped right into his backside. He lost his balance, caught himself against a bookcase, and a landslide of "Carter Is a Painter’s Cat" joined "Strictly No Elephants" on the floor. He yelped.

“Ah fuck, I’m so sorry… Chris!”

* * * * * * * * * *

London, December 2021. Amid cats, books, and the cold English drizzle, Chris finds everything he was hoping for and thought he would never have.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reaching for Fire by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit]

Bucky has always felt a fire in his heart (and other body parts) when it came to his boss, Steve Rogers, but he's made sure to never feed those flames. When he finds out about Steve's second job, though, he's tempted to let that fire out.

i've been dreaming of a face like yours by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

Bucky is about to busy himself with making a small dinner for himself when he stops in his tracks at the figure drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smirking at him.

It’s Steve.

“Surprise, sweet boy,” he says before setting his cup down.

--

Or, PWP reunion sex

🌻 Somewhere, Under Your Skin by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 16k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes treats himself to a one-night stand after having a very bad no good day.

The sex is good--great, even. Might be the best sex of his life.

But Bucky wouldn’t have slept with the guy if he had known that he was going to continuously run into him every day for the next fucking month.

--

Or, a Big Grump Bucky has a hot one night stand with a college kid who is popping up everywhere in his everyday life and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

(Written for HYBB Bingo Square: Grumpy Bucky)

i've played heartstrings before but not in your key by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 11k words, Explicit]

He glances down, seeing a folded couple of papers, before peering up at Bucky. The older man is biting his bottom lip, making it pretty and red. Steve wants to run his tongue across where his teeth are digging into his flesh.

"What's this?" Steve asks, setting his phone down, emails forgotten. Bucky shrugs and looks away.

"I dunno. You tell me, genius," he says, sounding bratty enough that it makes Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Jesus, there has to be something wrong with him.

Steve glances once more at Bucky, who now has his arms crossed against his chest and is pointedly not looking at Steve, before picking up the stack of folded papers. He opens them, seeing a collection of maybe five or six sheets of paper. His eyes immediately land on the list of familiar words with negative next to each one. -- Or, Steve Rogers is a jealous, possessive little shit that wants nothing more than to mark up his boyfriend and stake his claim. And Bucky knows it. (And he likes it.)

🌻 I'm Home (With You) by BonkyBornes @padfoot-and-the-marauders [Stucky, 2k words, General]

In any other circumstance, the apartment would've been perfect. But it was today, and the fact that he was here meant he wasn’t out searching. He knew they hadn’t had any leads for weeks and he knew Natasha was right; all three of them were exhausted and a break would do them good. It just felt wrong to Steve that he was comfortable while Bucky was still out there—somewhere. Probably cold. Probably hungry.

The knock came again. Sighing, Steve unwrapped his hand from the dog tags and remembered how to move. Cold wind and snow greeted him when he opened the door. The solitary figure was walking down the steps, collar popped against the chill.

“Did you need something?” he called.

The person stopped. They were still. And then they turned. *

Or, the Christmas Steve deserved after Winter Soldier.

The portrait by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 915 words, General]

Steve Rogers has a Gift. He can help people find their soulmates, all he needs is some art supplies, a quiet place, and eye contact.

AU-gust day 21: soulmates

Maybe A Muse by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 2k words, Mature]

When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude.

[mysoftboybensolo]

The Alienist and the Soprano

Chapter 13: The Holidays

A/N: This was inspired by Laszlo’s love of opera and my thought on what if he fell for an opera singer. Multi chapter. Canon divergence, there is no Mary Palmer here (I loved Mary and Laszlo, so I don’t feel like I could have her here and have him be with another woman). A mix of show and book canons. No Y/N, OC named Evelina Lind.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32029150

Pairing: Laszlo Kreizler x Fem OC!

Summary: The last thing Laszlo Kreizler ever expected while investigating the death of children was to fall in love, and with an opera singer no less!

Warnings: Age gap, Victorian Christmas, mentions of past abuse, but much fluff! I had done my research on what Christmas was like back then, as well as the Hanukah dates and it seems 1897 was a big year; “Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” was published in September of 1897, electric Christmas lights were growing in popularity and the unification of the boroughs in New York was official on New Years. And there is your history lesson of the day.

The air grew colder as Laszlo and Evelina’s relationship grew warmer. Evelina was spending more time with the team, just as Laszlo was becoming more and more acquainted with Evelina’s opera friends. Compared, they were a more rambunctious group, and she knew that Laszlo had his limits, but admired him for trying so hard. Maria often helped Laszlo along when Evelina was not by his side and he felt immensely grateful to her for guiding him through the corral. At first, her opera friends hadn’t been sure of Laszlo, unsure of this man who makes a living in psychoanalyzing people, who didn’t seem to fit in anywhere, but they always caught the spark of joy in his eyes when Evelina came beside him, the way he tried so hard for her. Even if he couldn’t keep up with them, they still saw the utter devotion between the pair and that was enough for them to approve the relationship.

It was a time for the singers to rest themselves for The Nutcracker to be performed, and a real treat for them all. It had done so well last Christmas that the opera house had decided to do it again, and who knows, perhaps it will become a Christmas tradition.

As November closed in, Evelina had been helping Sara scout out locations for her new agency, hoping that she’ll find it before the weather turned too cold to be out scouting. As they looked around a space, Evelina asked Sara a few questions. “What will you require of your workers to do?”

“Just as any other detective agency will have, secretaries, detectives. Roosevelt has agreed to let the officers help us whenever we need it, which must mean he bears no ill will towards my leaving. Hmm, no, too small. I need at least four rooms; this will not do.” They stepped out into the cool air, leaving them both to shiver. “Winter certainly is coming, there is no doubt.”

“Yes, that shall mean Christmas!” Evelina replied excitedly. “It’s my favorite time of year. Everything looks so magical with the snow and the good cheer, and of course the music.”

“Well, then you might convince Laszlo to have a party this year. He doesn’t celebrate it, at least, from what I have known of him. I wonder if it comes from an unhappy memory,” Sara mused.

“Then I shall make it my duty to give him a Christmas full of happiness. The opera will be performing The Nutcracker, perhaps I will invite him to a performance then have a party. It’ll only be a small affair, you, John, and the Isaacson Brothers.”

Sara looked at her strangely then asked, “You are aware that they are Jewish, don’t you?”

“I am more than aware, in fact, I know that it starts on the nineteenth of December and ends on the twenty-seventh. And it doesn’t have to necessarily be a Christmas party, but a holiday party. A celebration of simply being together and friends. Surely, Laszlo couldn’t object to that.”

Wrapping her arm around Evelina’s, Sara couldn’t help but to smile. “Not when you put it that way, he wouldn’t.”

Laszlo visited just shortly after the ladies returned home, feeling too frozen to go any further. “And how has the property hunting been going for you?”

Sara groaned, “Don’t mention it. It feels as if I am never going to find the perfect place. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to get myself a good stiff drink,” she huffed as she went off to the kitchen, leaving Evelina and Laszlo alone in the den.”

Now was the perfect time for her to ask the question. “Laszlo, Christmas is coming soon, and I was wondering what it is that you do for the holidays?”

“Well, Christmas Eve, I spend it with the children who are left behind at the institute, watch them open their gifts in the morning then return home for a quiet day in.”

“Oh, Laszlo,” she said, “I love that you take care of your children, but what about yourself? Doesn’t it get to be a bit lonely?”

He pursed his lips in thought then said, “Well, yes, I suppose, but it was better than what I used to have when I was younger. Those were the better days. We hosted a fine Christmas party, my father was at his best and my mother wore her finest, and the house looked like a picture book. But” he said, with matter-of-fact tone, “When the party was over, it wasn’t so picturesque.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” she softly affirmed.

“No, I want to, and we promised, no secrets.” It was true, after the absolute confusion that came from not sharing their feelings and the disaster that followed, they had agreed that nothing would be held back. “Santa was not something told in my household, but rather the fear of God. He’d make me read the bible which involved the birth of Christ, but any little flaw, hesitation or stutter and he’d beat me while calling me a blasphemer for ruining the scripture.”

She wanted to ask how that was better than the usual days, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. “My mum died just a week before Christmas, and to celebrate it without her was awful. Winston was not manageable during those times,” she paused after the mention of her brother, and Laszlo saw a flash of pain in her eyes. “When he was locked up, that first Christmas, my father broke down, he felt he had broken his promise to my mother in keeping the family together. Even though I told him that he was not to blame for Winston’s actions, every year after, I could see the echo of pain in his eyes. This will be my first Christmas without any of them.”

Laszlo lifted his hand, unsure if he ought to reach out and comfort her, and knowing that she’d not only appreciate it, but that he’d have to get used being open with another, he placed a hand on top of hers, which rested on her lap. It was the right move to do, as it had made her smile and lean in to rest her head against his shoulder. Laszlo felt a small surge of pride in himself, he was doing better in showing intimacy and he liked it.

Having a party to plan helped to fill Evelina’s free time from the opera, but most importantly, it allowed her the chance to make a surprise for Laszlo. Thanks to her covert cleverness, she found out which children will be spending Christmas at the institute and with the permission of the staff, she managed to pull them together to work on a surprise for him. They nearly got caught once, Laszlo came back from a meeting a bit sooner than Evelina expected, but she managed to play it off well, saying that she had been bored and wanted to play the piano for the children.

Stevie proved to be rather helpful in preparing Christmas at Laszlo’s home and was more than happy to be commissioned by Evelina to help with the planning. He scoured out the best decorations and the best tree to have standing in Laszlo’s den, and when he was finished with it, even he could admit he did a rather fine job. There was one thing that Laszlo had a hand in the decorations, and it was the purchase of these new electric string lights, meant to replace candles, and it was a smart choice, and in Evelina’s words, magical. As Stevie was busy with the decorations, Evelina was off to work with the invites and the Isaacson Brothers were surprised to say the least but were still very pleased to be invited to such a party, knowing how much it meant to her. Sara had been the first unofficial guest invited and John most certainly was not one to pass up a party.

Christmas Eve arrived and Evelina dressed herself in her green and red velvet walking gown, truly getting into the spirit and went to the institute to see Laszlo. Many of the parents came to take their children home for the holidays and as much as it was a wonderful sight to see parents not forsake their little ones, it was doubly heartbreaking to see those few whose parents never came. It was Laszlo and Evelina’s special mission to make sure that they still received the experience that they would have had if they were home, even carrying on the duty of decorating the tree and great hall for the children to enjoy. Most of the staff could go home to spend it with their family, but there were a few who did not have a family of their own who stayed and happily joined in the festivities with the children.

Daylight had gone when was a surprise waiting at the front door, and who would have guessed that Santa would come and see the children of the Kreizler Institute? Watching John all dressed up as Santa was a delight, especially when the younger children climbed on his lap and gave “Santa” a hug and wished him a Merry Christmas. It didn’t take much convincing, for John thought it a wonderful idea and he could not say no to Evelina’s sweet intentions, even if it made him look a bit silly. Sara was the unofficial Mrs. Claus, dressed in her lovely green evening gown and many of the children loved going up to her and asking questions of the North Pole, truly convinced that she was indeed the wife of Santa. She watched John take in the children’s excitement with great stride and enjoyment and thought it the finest thing she had ever seen, and her heart swelled at the thought of him doing this for the children.

When John and Sara left, it was time to show off Evelina’s surprise. Gathering the children up, she sat at the piano and began to play. Laszlo watched with wonder and love as Evelina led the children in a most heavenly rendition of Ding Dong Merrily On High, the children looked so happy to be a part of something. He wasn’t even bothered by the religious overtones of the song; he just enjoyed the sweet voices that sang in perfect harmony and was touched to see that his love put so much effort into surprising him.

Soon, it got to be bedtime and the children were escorted back their rooms, eagerly awaiting Santa’s arrival and the staff to their rooms. Usually, Laszlo was the only one to take up the duty of stuffing the stockings and providing the children with gift, making sure each one got an equal amount from Santa. Evelina stayed with him and happily helped to stuff the stockings, despite her own sleepiness. It was an endearing sight, the pair of them on the floor, helping to stuff stockings and wrap presents.

“How long have you done this?”

“Ever since the institute was opened. It was quite sad to see those children left behind to have nothing, so I made sure to carry on the tradition of Santa. You may think that I do not agree with the idea of telling fantastical stories to children, but I think it is important in the development of a child. It stimulates their creativity as well as teaches them lessons.”

Evelina smiled and started with, “Don’t laugh, but I still believe in Santa. Oh, I don’t mean that there is an actual person who goes about in a flying sleigh and gives presents to all children around the world, but the idea of him. Do you remember back in September there was that article answering a little girl’s question of if there was a Santa? That article was a wonderful summation of how I feel about Santa. How there is someone who can be full of good cheer and selflessness and the possibility that we could be just like him. Like this, right now. The fact that you go out of your way to make sure these children have a merry Christmas, to never make them feel left out, it is very Kris Kringle of you. And I am sure you’d look dashing in red.” His deep blush only proved her right.

It was nearing midnight when they had finished and left the institute and despite the chill, they walked through the snowy streets, enjoying the calm and winter beauty. “I am sorry if this wasn’t what you had imagined you’d spend your Christmas Eve.”

“Indeed, it was far better than I could hope. To help give children a good time, to create magic and now walking home with you, it is wonderful.” The church bells tolled, and they stopped to listen to the lovely knells as it chimed Christmas day. “Merry Christmas, my darling.”

Laszlo smiled, knowing that she gave him at last an endearment. “Frohe Weihnachten, meine liebe.”

Laszlo came to pick up Evelina early on Christmas day so she could be at the institute before the children woke and watch with Laszlo as they opened their gifts from Santa as well as from Laszlo himself. She loved the glimmer in his eyes when looking at the children enjoying themselves, forgetting their woes and problems, glad to see that they would have a normal childhood that he never had. Once he was sure that the children were taken care of, the pair went off to enjoy Christmas themselves. It had been purely coincidental, but Laszlo wore his dashing green vest and tie while Evelina wore her lovely red satin dress, looking as if they had coordinated with the holiday and each other, anyone who didn’t know them would have been certain they were husband and wife.

The party was beginning at noon, giving time to everyone that was coming to enjoy their morning and get ready to spend it together. Sara had been the first to arrive, no surprise, the Isaacson Brothers came, Marcus brought along his dear Esther and her daughter, and then John. Laszlo had almost thought that all the guest had arrived, when Stevie entered and said, “We’ve got two more guests!”

Laszlo looked perplexed, for who else could come, and Evelina watched in amusement as his mouth fell agape as Cyrus walked in with his niece, Joanna, looking rather fine in their Sunday best. Laszlo jumped up from his seat and went to his old employee and friend. “Cyrus! How are you? I didn’t know you were coming.”

“No, but Miss Lind did. Stevie brought Miss Lind to my work and she had personally invited me to the party, as well as Joanna. It was wonderful of her to come to me personally.”

Evelina stood and warmly greeted Cyrus and Joanna. “I am so glad you came. Laszlo told me so much of you and I just had to properly get to know his dear friend.”

“And I am honored to know the woman who could convince him to throw such a party,” Cyrus laughed heartily.

Evelina had been a wonderful hostess, making sure everyone had been attended to, even making sure Stevie felt welcomed in the celebrations and had helped Lucius feel a bit more at ease with the help of Joanna, of which the pair seemed quite intrigued by each other. Laszlo watched in wonder of how she could manage to move around with grace, kindness and energy when he still had difficulty to be as open to those of whom he feels are his friends. He admired her and was honored to be the man of whom she loved above others.

The afternoon was spent playing games, Blind Man’s Bluff, Yes and No, and Charades. Laszlo had sat out of Blind Man’s Bluff, but allowed himself to be dragged into Charades and Yes and No. He was afraid of appearing to look ridiculous, but Evelina argued that everyone was doing the same, so they all looked the same amount of ridiculousness. The luncheon was informal, people made their own plates and sat around Laszlo’s den, like they all were old friends, and it was a kind of homey feeling that Laszlo had never felt before, it was warm, safe, good.

It would not be a good party without a mistletoe, at least according to John, who hung it over his friend’s head and teased that someone ought to kiss him or else he will. Evelina more than happily rose to the challenge, making it the second kiss that the pair had shared. She challenged John to hang it over his head and get a kiss, or else he’ll have to kiss the lizard at the institute, and just as she hoped, Sara decided to help him out by placing a chaste kiss to his cheek, but he turned on accident and the pair had kissed on the lips. The blush on their faces told so much and Evelina buried her face in Laszlo’s chest to try and stop her smile from being noticed, but she spotted something beyond him. Moving towards it, she couldn’t help but to admire the beautiful piano. Laszlo came up beside her and said, “You may play on it whenever you wish. It’ll be nice to see that old thing getting some use. I haven’t played in so long.”

“You played?” She had never known that Laszlo used to play, at least before the incident.

“Yes. I was quite good.”

“Better than good,” Sara interjected, coming in the conversation, hoping to escape her situation. “His name was in all the papers; he could have been a great pianist.”

“Why don’t we do gifts?” Evelina suggested, hoping to prevent Laszlo from falling into his darker thoughts, and she excitedly handed out her gifts. They weren’t expensive gifts, but they were heartfelt and personal to each, and that meant more than anything in the world, even Stevie, who hadn’t expected to get a gift and didn’t usually like to be sentimental, but even he couldn’t refuse the copy of An Anarchic Adventure by Jules Verne, his favorite author. Laszlo had received a copy of The Psychology of Emotions by Théodule-Armand Ribot, of whom Laszlo had been fascinated with.

Laszlo made himself go last, giving everyone incredible gifts; Stevie getting his very first shaving kit as he was now a young man, Esther and her daughter fine new dresses, to name a few, and lastly went to Evelina, giving her a box. When she opened it, it was a beautiful toiletry box, made of a dark wood and lined with pink velvet. Opening one of the drawers, she noticed two large and full bottles of her perfume, ‘Fantasia de Fleurs’. “Oh, Laszlo! This is too much! And on top of that, two bottles of my perfume?”

“It is not too much,” he countered, “And besides, it is for selfish reasons too, for I love your scent, perhaps a bit too much,” he admits with a blush across his cheeks. “No one else should buy this for you but myself.”

It was true; when she did first receive this, it was meant to be a bribe gift from one of the patrons at the opera, but she loved the scent too much to toss it away. To have Laszlo buy it for her not only was sweet, but intimate, and she liked that he felt way, wanting no other to buy her perfumes. Sara had been the one to inform which perfume it was and told Laszlo that she had mentioned about getting a box of her own, and he made sure to get the finest box with the two largest bottles so she wouldn’t have to.

The Isaacson Brothers had left with their guests and just before everyone was to go off on their own, Evelina made sure to have a few carols played and sung. John and Sara had quite nice voices which blended very well together, Cyrus deep and warm, and Joanna and Stevie wholeheartedly sang. Laszlo’s voice was not deep or powerful, but it was soft and comforting, and it sounded wonderful to hear him sing Silent Night in German, a request that Evelina had asked, and he did only for her. When he sang, all stopped and listened, and all Laszlo could see or know was Evelina, playing the piano, with a grace and power that reminded him of his youth. Instead of painful memories, it made him smile and happy.

Cyrus and his niece left to have dinner with their family, John to his grandmother’s, leaving Sara and Stevie to join Evelina and Laszlo to the opera for The Nutcracker. This had been Stevie’s first time to the opera and the wonder in his eyes was so enduring and how he watched as the story enfolded before his eyes. In the dark of the auditorium, Evelina had reached her hand over to Laszlo’s, and held it. He looked over at her and wordlessly, he thanked her for a wonderful Christmas.

The good cheer from Christmas continued to carry on for the next few days as New Year’s was approaching and for good reason. The New York government had made the decision to unite the five boroughs of the city to create what would be nicknamed “Greater New York” and it was a wonderful reason to celebrate.

It was a momentous occasion, one that Evelina wished to see and thanks to Laszlo’s influence, they managed to watch it all happen close by and safe away from the mad crowd and the pouring rain. As the New Year rang, everyone watched in wonder as fireworks blasted in the sky, cannons fired, steamboats blowing their horns and brass bands played their hearts out, for when the new year rang, the new flag had unfurled over city proclaiming it’s celebration, the birth of the City of New York.

“Oh, darling,” Evelina gasped, “Just think, we are lucky to have seen this happen. To see a city come together as one, it’s beautiful!”

Laszlo wrapped his arms around Evelina’s waist and placed his head in the crook of her neck as they watched the city celebrate outside, “1898 shall be a happy year. I am sure of it.” She turned her head and shared their third kiss but first kiss of their new year and turned back to watch the merriment.

It then struck him right then and there, something that he thought would never be possible, something he’d never have, and yet it was here in his arms, and he would not let it go so easily. Now, it was just the matter of asking the question.

Tagging: @monsieurbruhl​ @cazzyimagines​, @scuttle-buttle​, @violetmuses​ @flutterskies​ @sokoviandelights​ @rumblelibrary​ @fictionlandslanddreams​ @somethingthatsaysbubbles​ @alindeluce​  and @barnesxnobles

[silverrstarrr]

Normal girl (3)

note: okay! So after talking with someone, they helped me with a lot of things about college/university, since I'm only in high school—I do not know how they function. I was told there wasn't a comestic major offered in college but since this is a fanFICTION, Maria University is just gonna be a school for everything.

they suggested I change their major to fashion since its similar to comestics but there's already a fanfic on wattapad that consists of a black y/n being a fashion designer and I don't want to be accuse of stealing their work or idea. Not to mention, it'll mess up with the whole plot I had a in mind, so please bare with me.

Basically what I'm saying is, things regarding the school and different majors etc; will be different. But everything other than that will be how it'll work in modern times. Also a big thank you to @coconutxraikage I really appreciate you ♡ I'm going to add this note everytime I upload a chapter, just to make things clear. I'm also going to be adding links  anytime I describe an outfit or an area, just incase readers enjoy seeing than reading. For me, I'm more of an visual person.

Chapter 3:

Stepping into the room, everyone was already at their seats. All eyes stopped and stared at you, you stood there awkwardly for a second before you quickly walked towards the bag of the classroom.

You searched for an empty chair and luckily you found one. It was next to girl, she had a resting bitch face which made you unsure if she wanted anyone to sit next to her. But you had no time to spare and sat down next to her.

The girl was obviously black as well, you can tell from her features. She had long black hair with her edges slayed, you weren't sure if it was a lace front or her real hair but it didn't matter—she looked really pretty. She had long false eyelashes which went well with her eyeshadow and lipgloss. She had two golden necklaces around her chest, one was a snake with little daggers along the side and the other was a simple pendant, in addition with her cross earings. You couldn't see her full outfit but she had on a long sleeve white top and checkered skirt? You couldn't tell.

You looked ahead and saw there wasn't a teacher, was this the wrong class again? You were so tired and wanted this day to be over already. You decided to ask the girl next to you,

"The teacher Mr.Fargo, right?" You looked at her.

"Yeah but his ass ain't here, imagine being late on the first day of class." She replied.

All the anxiety you had before came to a closure, you were in the right room.

"okay good, cause I was running around this building like I was stupid."

She looked back at you with a smile,

"Girl same! I did not know where to go, but i got here earlier so I wasn't late like you." She said the last part with a laugh, she was obviously just messing with you.

"shut up, we both didn't know where we was. Look at us twinin' already." You rolled your eyes as she placed her forehead on the back of her hand and laughed.

"My name's Daniyah, you?" Daniyah, she was definitely black. Mom's have a thing for ending their child's name with a "niyah". But the name fit her, she was a pretty lightskin.

"Oh— I'm y/n." You responded.

"Awwn, that name cute and I like your shoes." she glanced down at your feet.

"Thank you." Looking around the room, you noticed it was a decent of twenty students. Most of them were white, you only spotted a few poc here and there.

"Why am I in a room with a bunch of crackas..." you said to yourself.

Daniyah seems to heard you,

"Oh my gosh!!! You can't say that, it's a slur to white people." She was joking and you decided to go along.

"Sorry! You're right, I meant Klans membe—I mean! massa—wait no colonizers."

Daniyah burst into laughter, lightly nudging you. You followed along and started to laugh as well.

"Sis pleaasee, talking about some klans member," she continued on, lightly muffling her laugh.

"But we are in a room full of massa's, I think the teacher's white too."

You kinda expected that. You didn't think a poc could have the last name 'fargo'. You just prayed they didn't overly use AAVE, it always made you uncomfortable when non-poc did that.

"he's hella lat—" cutting you off, a large thud sound of the door hitting the wall was made as a tall guy with starbucks and his laptop walks in.

"Sorry guys! I'm really late, traffic was annoying." It was Mr. Fargo, he was wearing black pants, with a tucked in black n white striped short sleeved shirt. Under his shirt he wore black long sleeves, it went well with his slender body. To finish the outfit, he simply wore black combat boots. Awooga, He could dress good—go white boy, go!

He stopped by his desk in the front and dropped off his stuff, he also placed his long trench coat on his seat.

The blonde man leaned against his desk and took a good look at the class—he clapped his hands together and spoke,

"Okay class! Hello, my name is Derek Fargo but you all may call me Mr.Fargo— or Derek, whichever you prefer. I'm not too big on sir names." He said with a smile.

Pulling out the office chair, he took a seat and opened his laptop. He began calling names for attendance as others answered "here" or a simple greeting.

"Y/n L/n?" He spoke.

You lifted your head and said,

"yo."

Daniyah snickered next to you,

"Yo!" She mocked you in a male voice, trying to sound like those annoying boys who thought they were cool.

You nudged her arm in response and whined for her to stop.

"Ms.Lawfoot?"

"Here sir." Daniyah raised her hand slightly as Mr.Fargo nodded and typed into his computer.

Once he was done taking attendance, he started class. He talked about the curriculum and other activities that'll be going this semester.

"By the way, we'll be working with other majors. Especially photography and graphic designs." He continued on,

"We have a few modeling agencies that comes here often and uses one of the empty rooms in the next door building. Usually, students in the photography major use these opportunities to get a job at these agencies and take photos of models,"

"This goes for us too. Most modeling agency hire cosmetologist to help prepare their models for photo shoots or runways."

Next door building? Wait was it—? Nah, it couldn't be. You blocked out your own thoughts and continued to listen.

"They also have amateur models, ones who are new to the business. Those are the ones we'll be working with most of the time."

He continued on talking about the different opportunities and things you'll be experiencing.

                                ~~~

After finishing Mr. Fargo's class and long ass lecture hall, it was time for lunch.

Immediately you pulled out your phone and messaged yumi, to see if she was free.

"Aw shii, I forgot to get Daniyah's number. Hopefully I get to run into that lighskin again." You said to yourself, you continued to contact yumi.

                  colonizer but times 2🧑🏻‍🦲

                               What you eatin for lunch?

Idk, I was going to ask u what you wanted to eat

   

                                Girl, if you don't flip a coin

and pick a place.

LOOL😭

Let's just to the food court

& see what they have 🦲

Awe okay, I'll go there

and wait for you🤨

Read at 11:35

You were already in the halls and decided to head towards the food court, since you saw it earlier on your way to the lecture hall.

The halls were pretty packed since most people lunches were around this time, a few people bumped into you and you glared at them in response as they muttered apologies.

Halfway at the food court, an average height male bumps into you—making you drop your phone as the the case comes off as well.

"What the fuck?!" You said outloud but only for him to hear, since you didn't want to make a scene.

"ah! I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I  was going." He bent down and picked up your phone along with the case, popping it back In place.

You took your phone from him and decided to get a good look at this asshole who bumped into you. The boy was blonde with an undercut, along with basic blue eyes. He seemed around 5'10? He had on brown cuff pants with long black jacket that stopped at his knees, he topped it off with a black sleeved top and a bag wrapped around his torso.

What was up with everyone and knowing how to dress? The blonde broke your train of thought and spoke,

"Um...do you know where the food court is?" He said softly

"You made me dropped my phone, why would I tell you?" You responded in an annoyed tone.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't know... if there's a crack, I  can pay fo—" he was cut off by the motion of you already walking away. He just stood there in awe and guilt.

"Come on, or do you not want food?" You continued on walking but at a slower space for the male could catch up. This bought a small smile to his face and followed behind you.

"What you smiling for? Did you purposely bump into me to ask me this? Withcho' evil ass." You turned your heard to look at the blonde, he was panicking—you guessed he didn't catch on to your joke/sarcasm.

"No?! I really didn't mean to, I was—" he was getting defensive, you were only fucking with him.

"Boy I'm joking, no need to get defensive." You let out a giggle.

"Oh..." he responded back with an awkward smile.

You guys were already at your destination. bzzzt, bzzt it was coming from your phone, you looked at the screen and saw it was your best friend, you picked up.

"Where are you?" The background was loud and her voice was a bit muffled.

"I'm next to chick–flil–a" you looked to your left, just to make sure you were correct. The man besides you just stood there next to you and watched you. "Wasn't this man suppose to go eat?" You thought to yourself.

"Oop— I see you, look up." you did what yume said and saw her waving at you from across the area. She did a little jog towards you as you placed your back into your pocket. Once she reached you, you pulled her into the a hug as she returned it back.

"Hiiii! How was your day kiddo?" She joked.

"Shitty,  but at least you're here so I can complain about it."

The male laughed at your remark, which cause both of you to look at him.

"Whos this? You catching men already?" Yume raised a brow at you then glanced at him.

"Dunno, he just started to follow me." You replied in jokingly manner, of course yume caught on.

"Yo? What the hell, you're weird." She said in a serious tone, trying her best to hide her laughter.

"That's not true! You know that's not true," he turned towards you direction.

"I bumped into her on accident and asked her to show me food court." At that exact moment, you and yume started cackling like crazy. You loved this about her, she always caught your vibe.

"We're just messing with ya!" Yume was covering her smile with the back of her hand. The boy just stood there and nodded uncomfortably, since he wasn't the only one laughing.

"I'm Yume, and you?"

"I'm Armin" he flashed her a small smile.

"Armin? That's a cute name, awwn. It totally fits you." Yume returned the smile, a small blush spreaded across his cheek at the girl's remark.

"Naahh, yall ain't gonna sit up here and flirt." You shook your head.

Yume giggled as Armin scratched his head.

"Did you decide on a place to eat?" The question was directed at yume.

"Uhh, no? I didn't have a coin to flip."

"Girl— goodbye." You turned to armin,

"You got any places?" He placed his hand on his chin, looking up trying to recall food place that he knows they'll have.

He suggested a fast food place as you guys both agreed with his choice. The three of you trailed over to the place and stood in line.

Once it was you guys turn, yume and armin ordered and you did the same. After grabbing your food, you all sat at a table and ate. Yume and Armin were hitting up and chatting; soon after she asked about your day since you didn't know what building you were in. You went on and explain, you included all the things Mr. Fargo said as well, which caught Armin's attention.

"Wait you're in that Major? I'm taking fashion, I plan to be a designer."

"The name's y/n but yeah. You look like a future designer." You referring to his outfit, it was really nice.

"Armin!" A voice called out to him, all three of you guys turned to see who it was. Your face dropped at the realization, it the was boy from this morning.

"Oh Eren! Come over here and eat with us." You wanted to kick him, how dare he just invite someone without asking you or yume. You glanced over at yume but she was too busy eating.

The brunette boy was now at the table and gave armin a fist bump. He looked at the table and seemed to notice you,

"Hey beautiful." He was talking to you, you wanted to melt right there and then.

[after-avenging-hours]

Heart Skip [16]: Steve x Reader

Series Summary:  A soulmate AU where from the moment you are born, two partners share a heartbeat.  They race in times of joy, slow in times of sadness, and they skip at the same moment.

Word Count: 2236

Warnings: ANGST, couple quarrel, yelling, light swearing, heart ache

Heart Skip / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 /  Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 /  Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15

Steve’s eyes blink open and it takes a second for his vision to clear up. His lips pull into a frown as he tries to figure out where he is, but the movement of his lips makes his face hurt. Just about everything hurts. It doesn’t take long for him to figure out that he’s in the hospital. He looks around, catching sight of Sam sitting next to him.

“On your left,” he speaks, his voice sounding gruff in his ears.

Sam glances up from his book, meeting his gaze and smirks. “Look who’s finally awake.”

Steve makes another sweep of his eyes around the room. “Where’s Y/N?” he asks.

The question sobers Sam a little. “She’s on the first floor. Getting treated for shock.” He sees the concern growing in Steve’s eyes. “Nat’s with her. She’ll be okay, but you nearly dying put some strain on her heart.”

“Shit,” Steve grimaces, hating that once again he’s causing you to have heart problems.

“Let me text Nat to let her know you’re awake. I’m sure they’ll be able to bring Y/N up here.” Sam closes his book and walks around Steve’s bed to grab his phone off the docking station.

A few minutes later, the door swings open and Nat walks in, wheeling you in a hospital wheelchair. Sam shifts his chair back to make room, so Nat can wheel you to the bedside. “Steve…” you breathe his name with relief, seeing that he’s truly awake. Nat locks the wheels of your chair before she and Sam step out to give you both some privacy.

“You okay?” Steve asks in concern, reaching for your hand.

You quickly burst into tears. “I should be asking you that,” you speak through your sobs. “I was so scared you were-” you choke on another sob, unable to continue.

Steve squeezes your hand, feeling a pang in his chest from your pain. “Oh, Y/N… Please don’t cry. I’m okay.” he swipes his thumb over the back of your hand, wishing he had the strength to pull you into his arms.

You sniff your nose and wipe your free hand over your eyes. “I’m crying because you ruined my uniform and now it can’t be returned back to the museum.”

Steve huffs out a short laugh, before groaning in pain. “Sweetheart, please don’t make me laugh,” he winces, holding his other hand against his stomach, where his gunshot wound is just beginning to heal.

You bite your bottom lip and give him an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

He gives you a half-smile of reassurance with the undamaged side of his mouth. “S’okay. I do already feel a lot better having you here with me.” His eyelids begin to grow heavy and his blinks are slower. “I’m still pretty tired though…” he sighs quietly.

You move your second hand to where he holds your first and gently run your fingers up and down his forearm. “You should sleep some more. Your body needs time to heal.” The words have no sooner left your mouth before he’s fallen back asleep.

Sam and Natasha come back in a little later. You thank them both heavily for being there for both you and Steve. After a few hours, Steve wakes back up and feels better enough to insist that you should be discharged and taken somewhere to get some rest for yourself. The apartment complex you both were living in is still considered a crime scene and isn’t safe for you to return to by yourself. Nat was able to sneak into the building to get you a change of clothes and your toiletries, so you could at least change and get some rest at a hotel near the hospital.

You’re sitting at Steve’s bedside the next day when someone new enters the hospital room. The man wears a three-piece suit and a pair of sunglasses, even though he’s indoors. Steve raises a brow, the corner of his mouth lifting as much as the stitches in his cheek will allow. “Tony?”

“Cap,” the man greets with a nod.

“Did you bring me flowers?” Steve asks dubiously, noting the colorful bouquet in the man’s arms.

“These are actually for Miss America,” Tony smiles charmingly, handing the bouquet to you. “We haven’t met yet. Tony Stark.”

You release a small laugh and stand up to take the flowers from him. “Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

Tony gives you a once over as you cradle the flowers to your chest, before sending a smirk to Steve. “She’s entirely too cute for you.”

“Believe me, I know,” Steve agrees, sending you a look that makes your face hot.

Tony moves to stand at the foot of Steve’s bed and looks him over. “Wow, you didn’t even look this bad after New York.”

Steve shoots him a dry look. “Thanks,” he responds flatly, making you giggle. Steve’s eyes move to you and they immediately turn soft.

“I hear the both of you are in the market for some decent housing,” Tony speaks up, gripping the rail at the foot of Steve’s bed. The two of you share a curious look before turning back to Tony. “Avengers Tower is now fully operational. I wanted to extend a formal invitation to you both. There’s plenty of room, you can even have a whole floor to yourselves if you so desire. Banner’s already been staying with us. Thor pops in every once in awhile when he’s not off with his scientist lady. I would have reached out earlier, but you seemed rather content in your little bubble. At least until that bubble popped into an inter-agency conspiracy… Sorry about that, by the way.”

“…Are you asking us to move to New York?” Steve questions.

Tony shrugs casually, trying to downplay it. “I’m just saying, the offer is there.”

You and Steve share another look. Steve looks just about ready to jump out of the hospital bed and start packing now. You’re much more hesitant. It feels like you were just beginning to get used to some semblance of a normal life, but now everything’s been turned upside down. Again. The only thing that seems to be consistent in your life is its inconsistency. Steve’s brows furrow when he reads the hesitation in your eyes. “Can we think about it?” he finally asks Tony.

“Sure thing. No pressure. You know how to find me,” he taps his hands against the bed rail before taking his leave.

“You okay?” Steve asks, the concerned crease appears between his brows.

“Yeah,” you force a smile. “It’s just been a strange couple of days.”

--

With Steve’s accelerated healing, he recovers enough to get released from the hospital a few days later. The chaos around your apartment building has eased up and you’re allowed to stay there once again. Steve’s apartment is still technically considered a crime scene, so he just grabs a few essentials and stays with you. He’s currently making dinner, while you work on a school reading assignment at the table.

“I think we should move to New York,” Steve speaks, breaking the otherwise comfortable silence of the room.

You immediately pause in the middle of the notes you’d been writing. You absorb his words before releasing a long sigh and set your pen down. You’ve been dreading this conversation ever since it was brought up as an option. “You’re really ready to just jump back into it, aren’t you?” your question comes out in a strange mix of disbelief and resignation.

Steve gives you a look of confusion. “What do you mean?”

You pin him with a look that says it should be obvious to him. “You almost died, Steve. Shouldn’t that warrant at least some consideration into your life choices before you jump into the next thing?”

He looks back at you incredulously, like he can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. “I’m needed as Captain America. That’s not a choice. That’s who I am.”

“No,” you deny fervently. “Captain America is a job. Who you are is Steve Rogers.”

He narrows his eyes into a pointed look. “I can’t stop, not when I know that Hydra is still out there. The world needs Captain America. Now more than ever.”

You huff in frustration. “The world is always going to need Captain America. But I need Steve Rogers.”

“Please don’t make me do this,” he shakes his head slowly, pain filtering into his eyes. “Don’t make me choose between one life and the rest of the world.”

“It’s not just one life, Steve. It’s two! This is your life, too! Our life!” You urge, begging him to see it. “And you’re letting it slip through your fingers,” the pain in your own chest makes your voice waiver.

“Why are you making such a big deal about this? The only decision we’re making is whether or not to move to New York.”

“That’s not true, and you know it.” You give him a blatant stare. “Maria told me what really happened up there.” Steve’s face blanches at your words. “Did you even think about me when you gave her the order to bring down the airship while you were still on it?”

He releases a long sigh, crossing his arms over his chest and dropping his gaze. “Of course, I did. But I didn’t have a choice.”

You scoff dryly, looking off into the distance, unable to stand looking back at him. “There’s always a choice, but I guess it will never be me.”

“Y/N, that’s not fair.”

Irritation creases your brow when you finally turn back to meet his gaze. “Don’t you want a future together? To settle down? To get married. Have children. Don’t you want any of that?”

Steve runs his fingers through his hair and shrugs a shoulder. “I thought I did. But that was before…” His voice trails off.

You look at him incredulously. “Before what?” you question. “Before you woke up in the future?” you guess. But then you come to the realization, “Or before you took the serum and became Captain America?”

He releases a soft sigh. 

“I don’t know.”

Your lungs make every breath feel like the vice around them is growing tighter. “When you stepped into that pod, did you even once consider the things you would be losing?”

“You wouldn’t have been happy,” he tries to give an excuse but you’re not having it.

“No, Steve. You wouldn’t have been happy. You’re always telling me that you think I needed you to be strong, to be a hero… But I didn’t. I never cared about how tall you were, or how much weight you could lift. I would have been happy with you before the serum. Because I love you, Steve Rogers. Not Captain America. You are enough for me. You’re all I want. But I guess I’m not enough for you.”

“Don’t say that. You are enough.”

“Am I? Then why are you so willing to run out that door, every day?”

“Because the world needs me! If I don’t fight for what’s right, then who will?”

Your eyes turn sad as you look back at him. “You’ve spent your whole life fighting; you don’t know how to stop picking them. Do you?”

His jaw clenches and there’s a tick in his cheek, but he doesn’t grace that with a response.

“If Steve Rogers is worthless to Captain America? What does that make me?” You let the question hang in the air for a moment, but the sadness within you only grows as he continues to remain silent. “I guess I’ll only ever be a liability.” You don’t give him much of a chance to respond to that. It’s becoming too much; you have to get out of this room. Pushing your chair back, you stand from your spot at the table and head for the doorway out of the kitchen.

“Y/N,” Steve calls. “We’re not done talking about this. Come back,” he speaks sternly. When you don’t even pause, Steve releases a harsh huff. “Y/N, that’s an order.”

As soon as the words are out in the air, Steve immediately regrets them. Your entire body stiffens, back straightening, shoulders tensing. 

When you slowly turn back around to face him, there’s a fire in your eyes. “Excuse me?” you ask dangerously. Tears of frustration and pain line the rim of your eyes, threatening to spill over. “You do not get to give me orders,” your tone is sharper than a blade. You shake your head at him in disbelief. “You are my soulmate. NOT my captain!”

The look of disgust that crosses your features pierces Steve’s gut. He can’t even find the words to try to stop you when you walk away from him again. There’s a resounding slam of the bedroom door coming from deep within the apartment.

“Damn it,” he huffs, mostly annoyed with himself now. He runs both hands through his hair, gripping tightly at the short strands. There’s a hollow sort of ache deep within his chest that he’s never felt before. It’s horrible.

What happens next is so much worse.

Through the walls of the apartment, Steve’s sensitive hearing picks up on the sound of your utterly broken sobbing. It’s enough to bring him to his knees. His back slides against the kitchen cupboards as he sinks to the floor. If there’s a hell on earth, this is it.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 15

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,900ish

Summary: Y/N begins her mission. Which means, Y/N meets her friend’s son, Tony Stark.

On the plane ride over, Y/N read the file. Tony Stark went missing in Afghanistan three months ago, after a weapons demonstration went wrong. She was tasked with protecting him, as his personal security detail, and finding out what happen during his missing three months. Before they landed, Y/N make sure that she was dressed in a suit with her gun and knifes hidden. The plan had been to meet Stark at the airport but, after they landed, Coulson and her were informed that Mr. Stark had requested a press conference be held at Stark Industries headquarters. They arrived at Stark Industries HQ before Tony did.

“Are you nervous?” Coulson asked her as the entered the room that the press conference was going to be held in.

“No,” Y/N lied, to herself and him. 

“It could be a long one. Last chance to back out.”

“I’ve got this Phil. I can do it… Even if it is Howard’s son…”

The employees and press went wild when Tony’s car pulled up. Y/N and Phil waited patiently for the man of the hour to enter and get to the stage before making a move. Tony’s right arm was in a sling, and he had scratches on his face. Even from the other side of the room, Y/N could tell that his eyes had seen horrors. Phil went up to Pepper Potts, Tony’s personal assistant, first.

“Miss Potts?” Phil said as he walked up to her.

“Yes,” she responded.

“Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“I’m not part of the press conference, but it’s about to begin right now.”

“I’m not a reporter. I’m Agent Phil Coulson, with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”

“That’s quite a mouthful.” Y/N chuckled at Peppers response. She wasn’t wrong, there needed to be a better way to introduce their organization.

“I know. We’re working on it.”

“You know, we’ve been approached already by the DOD, the FBI, the CIA…”

“We’re a separate division with a more specific focus. We need to debrief Mr. Stark about the circumstances of his escape.”

“I’ll put something in the book, shall I?”

“Thank you.”

Y/N was about ready to introduce herself to Pepper as well, when the press conference started. Obadiah Stane, who ran the company beside Tony, stood behind the podium while Tony was sitting on the ground in front of it, eating a burger. The more Y/N observed Obadiah, the more she didn’t like him. She couldn’t put a finger on it, she just didn’t.

“Well, let’s get this started, uh…” Obadiah struggled to know how to start the conference.

“Hey, would it be all right if everyone sat down?” Tony spoke up. “Why don’t you just sit down? That way you can see me, and I can… A little less formal and…” Everyone listened, either sitting themselves on the ground or squatting. “I never got to say goodbye to Dad. I never got to say goodbye to my father.” 

Y/N immediately became very attentive. After Peggy had told her what had happened, she looked up the reports herself. Howard Stark and his wife, Maria, died in a car crash December 16, 1991. She cried over the reports as she read them. Howard deserved so much better. They all had.

“There’s questions that I would have asked him,” Tony continued. “I would have asked him how he felt about what this company did. If he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch the man we all remember from the newsreels. I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero accountability.”

“Mr. Stark!” Reporters called.

“Hey, Ben.”

“What happened over there?” Ben, one of the reporters, asked. I had my eyes opened.” Tony stood up and moved behind the podium. “I came to realize that I have more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark International…” The whole room when into a frenzy. Standing up, with all the reporters asking questions. “…until such a time as I can decide what the future of the company will be.”

Obadiah stood up beside Tony, trying to calm the press down. Y/N looked over to see Pepper and Tony’s friend, Colonel James Rhodes, watch in shock. She took a deep breath, realizing that it was time for her to introduce herself. She walked up to the two, who were whispering to themselves.

“Excuse me,” Y/N said, getting their attentions, as she walked up. She held her hand out to Pepper. “I’m Y/N Barnes. You and Stark Industries hired me to be Tony’s personally body guard.”

Pepper took her hand, shaking it. “Oh yes, I’m sorry. I was meaning to call you to tell you where we were, but it seems that you’ve found us.”

“I’m very good at my job, Miss Potts.” Y/N dropped Pepper’s hand.

“So it seems. You know obviously my name. This is Colonel James Rhodes, Tony’s friend.” Pepper introduced.

“Colonel.” Y/N reached out her hand to him.

“Barnes.” He took it, shaking it firmly. Y/N tried not to flinch at the use of the last name she needed to quickly get used to. “Do Tony and Happy know you’re coming?”

“Happy does,” Pepper responded. “I was going to tell Tony at the hospital, but that didn’t go as planned.”

Y/N noticed, from looking over their shoulders, Tony leave the building. “Looks like Mr. Stark just left, with who I presume to be Mr. Hogan. I’ll go introduce myself to Mr. Hogan and Mr. Stark.”

Y/N walked outside of the building, slipping on aviator sunglasses as she did. She followed Happy and Tony to another building. Tony went inside, while Happy leaned against the car and pulled out a cigarette. 

“Mr. Hogan,” Y/N greeted when she reached him. “I’m Y/N Barnes.”

“Oh… the new personal guard.” Happy looked her over. “Mr. Stark will be impressed.”

“I’m not here to impress. I’m here to protect. Why aren’t you in there with him?”

“He asked to be alone.”

“I don’t believe Mr. Stark should be alone right now, do you?”

“You’re new here, so I’m going to give you the decency of this warning. If Tony wants to be alone, leave him alone.”

“And I’m only going to warn you once, Mr. Hogan. As Mr. Stark’s new head of security and personal guard, I will be telling him when he gets to be alone.” Y/N turned around and pulled open the buildings door.

“Good luck with that,” Happy muttered before the door shut.

As Y/N entered, she noticed Tony staring at the large machine in the room. If she wasn’t on a mission, then Y/N might actually care to know what it did. 

“Mr. Stark,” Y/N called as she stopped a little ways away from him. Tony turned, clearly checking her out once he was fully facing her. “I’m Y/N Barnes, your new personal security guard.”

“I’m good thanks,” he immediately said. “But I could personally use you else where.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark. I’m afraid you don’t understand. You don’t have a choice. Miss Potts and Stark Industries hired me once they heard of your return. They are concerned for your safety, understandably so.”

“And what makes you believe that you’re so capable of protecting me?”

“I’ve passed every government agency test with flying colors. Hold the records too. The rest of my resume is on your desk. Or your AI, JARVIS, right? I’m sure it could tell you the rest of my secrets.”

“Spit fire. I like it…” Tony checked Y/N out one more time, making her a little uncomfortable and reminding her a bit of Howard. “You can stay then.”

“I’ll make sure not to get in your way.”

Tony gave a slight nod, before going back to stare at the machine. Y/N stood near the doors, surveying how many exits and windows the place had. She tensed, resting her hand on the gun, as one of the doors open. She relaxed a bit, but only a bit, when she saw that it was Obadiah Stane. Y/N gave him a nod, with him returning one, as he walked in the building and up to Tony.

“Well, that… uh… That went well,” Obadiah stated.

“Did I just paint a target on the back of my head?” Tony asked, facing Obadiah.

“Your head? What about my head? What do you think the over-head on the stock drop is gonna be tomorrow?”

“Uh, optimistically, 40 points.”

“At minimum.”

“Yep.”

“Tony, we’re a weapons manufacturer."

“Obie, I just don’t want body count to be our only legacy.”

“That’s what we do. We’re iron mongers. We make weapons.”

“It’s my name on the side of the building.”

“And what we do keeps the world from falling into chaos.”

“Not based on what I saw. We’re not doing a good enough job. We can do better. We’re gonna do something else.”

“Like what? You want us to make baby bottles?”

“I think we should take another look into arc reactor technology.”

“Ah, come on. The car reactor, that’s a publicity stunt! Tony, come on. We build that thing to shut the hippies up.”

“It works.”

“Yeah, as a science project. The arc was never cost effective. We knew that before we built it. Arc reactor technology, that's a dead end, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Huh? Am I right? We haven't had a breakthrough in that in what? Thirty years.”

“That’s what they say.” Y/N watched as Tony studied Obadiah’s face. “Could you have a lousier poker face? Just tell me, who told you?”

“Never mind who told me. Show me.”

“It’s Rhodey or Pepper.”

“I want to see it.”

“Okay, Rhodey.” 

Obadiah and Tony glanced around, to see if anyone else was around but me, before Tony unbuttoned his shirt. Under it, he had a circular, metal plate sticking out of his chest.

“Okay,” Obadiah said, checking the surroundings again and buttoning Tony’s shirt up.

“Okay? It works.”

“Listen to me, Tony. We’re a team. Do you understand? There’s nothing we can’t do if we stick together, like your father and I.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads-up, okay? But if I had—“

“Tony. Tony, no more of this ‘ready, fire, aim’ business. You understand me?”

“That was Dad’s line,” Tony stated quietly.

“You gotta let me handle this. We’re gonna have to play a whole different kind of ball now. We’re going to have to take a lot of head. I want you to promise me that you’re gonna lay low.”

With that, Tony nodded and Obadiah walked towards the doors, stopping next to Y/N.

“I’m assuming you’re the new security that Miss Potts hired,” he said.

“I am,” she responded curtly.

Instead of responding, Obadiah looked her over, nodding, before leaving. She carefully watched the man disappear. She did not have a good feeling about him. Not at all.

next chapter >

[agent-absinthe]

foreigner’s god pt. 1

marvel. bucky barnes/reader. canon divergent. heavy fic. 5k+

Blaire Briar gets through the day by telling herself that James Buchanan Barnes and the Winter Soldier are two different people.  It makes knowing he’s been pardoned and walking free easier for her to process.  Only when she’s forced to assist on a mission with him on the team roster her carefully constructed coping begins to crumble.  Forced to finally deal with their shared trauma Blaire and Bucky begin the difficult process of healing.  The process is made more difficult when Bucky realizes that despite everything he has feelings for her.

warnings: assault, rape/non-con, violence, blood, sexual content, language, No Snap AU

“Sir, I can’t take this assignment.”

Director Coulson looked up at the woman from his desk where he had been staring at the phone, currently on hold with Stark, a record 48 minutes now.

“That assignment requires your skill set, I would think after complaining of not feeling useful you’d be happy for the opportunity.”

“Sir,” she tried again- almost pleading, “I cannot take this.  Not with this team.”

He leaned back in the chair and considered the woman in front of him.  Special Agent Blaire Briar, who worked mainly as a grunt in Comms for recon teams.  Except when her special talent of Energy Vampirism brought her out into the field.  Although she wasn’t used often for the skill set, when it was needed she became invaluable.  Briar started out as an intern for Shield brought in by Maria Hill on a Stark recommendation- a series of personal traumas set off by Alexander Pierce led to her current position.

“The team was hand picked and is non negotiable.  Captain Rogers prefers to work with those he trusts and he says he needs you, this isn’t a request.”

“I have trauma with the Winter Soldier. I can’t-”

“Sergeant Barnes,” Coulson corrected feeling guilt at her desperate expression, “he was pardoned so as far as the government and all other agencies are concerned all reparations are paid.  Any personal feelings are just that- personal- and are to be dealt with in your own time.”

“And if I refuse?”

“You’ll be reprimanded and will most likely cost thousands of people their lives if not more.  I know that’s not something you want on your hands Agent, so just take the assignment.  You’ll be back in comms by the end of the weekend if all goes well.”

This was fucking bullshit. 

Blaire couldn’t see straight as she stomped down the hall back to comms, gripping the wall from a sudden bout of nausea that overtook her.  The folder was delivered to her in the afternoon by a security personnel and at first she had been thrilled to receive the assignment.  There were ruins on a small island off the coast of Ireland thought to contain a training base for Hydra recruits.  Files inside the base could provide names of remaining Hydra agents, contracts and agreements that the terrorist organization made, among other intel that could be incredibly useful.  It sounded interesting and she was itching to get out there and live a mission instead of listening in on one.

“Whoa, you ok?  Jesus, Blaire you look like you’re about to throw up.”  Hill’s voice sounded like it came from far away even when she put a concerned hand on her back.

“Tell me this job is worth it.”

“What?”

“I need you to keep me from walking the fuck outta here.  I can’t do this shit anymore, I can’t fucking do it.  I could be at Stark Industries or- or working with Strange or pouring goddamn drinks at Starbucks getting verbally abused by assholes.”

Her hands were on her knees now as she tried to focus on her breathing and stave off the panic attack building in her chest.  She was too young for this kind of stress.  Was any of this worth it?  The manilla folder containing her assignment was tossed to the floor, open on the team roster page so his name glared out at them. 

James Buchanan Barnes

When Maria saw the name she knew what was wrong immediately and knelt in front of Blaire, hands on her cheeks so she had to focus on her.

“Hey, hey, hey breathe for me, Briar.  That’s it.  Listen, they’re two different people- two completely different people.”

“I know that.  I know.”

“You can do this, you’re strong and I know for a fact that you’re too much of a bitch to let something stop you from doing your job, right?”

Briar laughed at that, the laughter dissolving into tears momentarily before she regained her composure, “right.” 

“You are the only one that can help them on that mission, you’re the one that’s gonna be calling the shots.  Now let’s go ahead and go down to development so we can get you measured for your gear.”

~

“Are you listening to me, James?”  Dr. Raynor asked with a forceful tap of her pen against the notepad to get his attention.

“Not really.”

She sighed and started writing waiting until he looked up with irritation before continuing, “I said done correctly this could be an opportunity for you to cross another name off the list.  Emphasis on done correctly.”

Bucky let out a breath he was holding in and turned to the window so he could pretend not to hear what Raynor was saying.  The therapist was right and so was Steve when he approached Bucky last week to let him know about who they needed for the recon.  He’d apologized to people he tried to kill easy enough, but it didn’t feel like there was a proper way to apologize for what he did to her.

“And what am I supposed to do when I see her?  Just walk up and say sorry?  It’s like you and Steve live in this perfect little world where forgiveness is just handed out the minute someone says sorry.”

“Steve and I live in the real world where we face our problems-”

“Oh, here we go.”

“-where we face our problems and hope that we can be forgiven for any harm caused.  You’ll be working with this girl so you will have to face it sooner or later, make sure Rogers is there when you do it if that will make you feel more comfortable.  That’ll be your homework until our next session- try to come to terms with what happened and make an effort to talk to Briar.”  

It was just the same shit Steve told him over and over.  Dr. Raynor sure as hell couldn’t know what he was going through even Steve didn’t understand this part of adjusting.  

Of atonement.  

When he closes his eyes and concentrates he can still see Pierce with a smile telling him about a “special” side mission, a “treat really”, that he wanted The Winter Soldier to complete.

Her apartment was quiet when he entered through the bedroom window to begin the first step of the mission.  Placing a small hidden camera in the framework of her gaming setup tucked in a corner across from the bed.  When he walked into the rest of the home he was stopped by a curious mew and looked down to find a fat, grey cat weaving between his legs.  The cat observed him for the rest of the camera placements and sweep of the apartment, disarming any weapons he found.  A loaded gun under the sink, a taser between couch cushions, and a knife on the bathroom vanity.  

“Your target’s not on her way yet so hang tight.  Fix the camera in the living room while you wait, I want it more focused on the couch and turn on your body camera.”  Pierce’s voice came over the earpiece sounding almost bored as he sat at his desk and looked through the new feeds.

He gravitated back to her bedroom when he wasn’t given another task finding that the room was pleasant to be in.  Warm and dim, smelling like the floral perfume bottle he inspected earlier.  The cat followed and jumped to the bed meowing at the soldier in annoyance when he didn’t pet him.  Something like muscle memory took over and Bucky lifted his flesh hand out to the cat who purred rubbing it’s face into the palm.

“Good cat.” He mumbled earning another meow and purr.

After a few more minutes of radio silence he sat, the mattress and box spring groaned under his weight and the softness felt foreign.  When another minute passed he leaned back in the unmade bed and didn’t move as a purring weight laid on his stomach.  It was all so...comforting.  Only when his eyes began to close did the earpiece screech on.

“Target’s in transit, be ready when she gets there-”

The front door opening interrupted Pierce, “Tikki!  Where is my fat little man?”

Tikki jumped off of him and he could hear the cat meowing to it’s owner as she walked to the kitchen, tossing her bags down on the way.  The woman looked normal enough to him, a little heavy for an agent but nothing he couldn’t handle.

“She’s worn out from training but we still don’t know how long her power can last.  You need to get the implant in her neck to block the absorption if she tries anything.”

Bucky fished in his utility belt for the dime sized, pronged disk and held it in his fist as he stalked closer to the kitchen.  She was singing to herself while stacking up dirty dishes to make room for a take out bag.

“Thank god I got there before they closed and yes they did give me some grilled chicken for you, Tikki.  Such a fat kitty, lucky you’re so cute.  Sure as hell don’t keep you around to pay rent, you’re a freeloader and you don’t even care!”

Pierce was telling him to proceed, but Bucky stood in the doorway and watched her set a small bowl down in front of Tikki who ignored it to eye him and meow louder, suddenly puffing up as if realizing that the strange man was now a threat.  

“What’s the matter you crazy cat?  That’s all you’re getting so deal with it.”  

A low growl and hiss.

“Jesus Christ, what?  Is there a fucking-”  She started and turned around only for her voice to die in her throat as they stared at one another.  

“Ok, Bucky?”  Dr. Raynor repeated.

“Ya ok.” 

~

This was it.  They were getting briefed this morning then they’d be flown out, Blaire could barely stand without shaking so she sat at her small cubicle in comms until it was time.  She should have known that Steve would try to play good guy and come find her.

“Hey, Blaire.”

“What do you want?”  

“Briefing is gonna start soon, thought we could walk down there together.”

“To make you feel better or me?”

The super soldier leaned against her desk and crossed his arms, “you know I wouldn’t put you in this position if I didn’t have to.  There’s no other way for us to get through those doors, trust me we’ve tried.”

“Let’s just get it over with.”  

She wasn’t trying to lash out at Rogers on purpose but it was hard to control her anger when she felt this shitty.  Steve and her used to be good friends, introduced by Tony who thought Blaire could make the soldier blush, they ended up balancing each other out nicely.  After what happened with the winter soldier and Shield they grew apart not talking unless Tony had a gathering they were both obligated to attend.  It was a loss on both ends when they stopped hanging out, the easy back and forth humor between them almost nonexistent now.  It was early enough in the morning that the pair walked in silence without many other agents around until Steve broke it.

“I know I don’t have any room to say this, but Bucky’s a good guy.  Begged me to find another way so you wouldn’t have to see him, tried to back out of the mission, he feels like shit about this and he wants to apologize to you.”

Blaire already knew where this was going, “and you’re the buffer?”

“His therapist suggested it.  Dr. Raynor.”

That wasn’t something she expected.  Therapy was a good sign, taking the therapist’s advice an even better one.  Blaire wasn’t stupid she knew that Barnes was under the influence of years of systematic abuse when he attacked her, practically brainwashed and nearly physically impossible for him to defy an order.  He was a victim too.  That’s what made being angry at him still so hard.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Steve opening the door to the conference room to see Barnes pacing.  The hair was shorter and the arm was new, but his body had the same heavy muscle and wide stance.  She found that she couldn’t look at him when they finally made eye contact, not directly anyway.  Focusing instead on the zipper of his gear or scruff on his chin.

He’s handsome.  Why the fuck does he have to be handsome? It wasn’t fair.  None of this was fair.  The world was playing some kind of fucked up joke for her to still be attracted to him.  That wasn’t new of course; she found him attractive since she first saw the winter soldier in photos and videos from the attack on Fury in Pierce’s office.  She had been standing there staring at the holograms when Pierce made an offhand remark about it, teasing her for her flushed cheeks.  Now that she knew he was the one who ordered the attack the memory made her boil with shame.

“Agent Briar.”  At least he was trying to be polite.

“Sergeant Barnes.”

“I-” he stopped, his adam’s apple bobbing with anxiety as he swallowed. “I am no longer The Winter Soldier, I am James Buchanan Barnes and you’re part of my effort to make amends-”

“Your therapist knows how to write a good script.”  Blaire interrupted.

Steve didn’t make a move to intervene and stayed off to the side sipping a coffee and watching.

“Look, I know that you were not in control of yourself when it happened and because of that you are also a victim in the situation,” she said it slowly trying to sound reasonable, “There isn’t a lot that you can apologize for.  Pierce is the one who owes me that and he’s been dead for a few years now so I doubt I’ll be getting it anytime soon.”

“Thank you for understanding, not a lot of people do, but I still have to tell you how sorry I am for the pain that I caused you.  I want to try to make things right or as right as they can be.”

“If you really want that then you’ll interact with me as little as possible.  Please understand that it’s not personal.  I just can’t fucking look at you.”

Barnes nodded quickly, the words cut him to the core in a way he had never experienced.  Yet he still apologized, still at least tried to make amends with Blaire and despite her blunt reaction he hoped Dr. Raynor would consider it a success.

“Yeah, of course.  I can do that.” 

Bucky thought he was doing a good job with it so far too.  He stayed in the flank of the group during the mission and got to see her work after she was able to duplicate an energy reading and get through to the bunker.  Three Hydra agents crumpled to the floor as soon as they rounded a corner to stop their progress, Briar released the pent up energy she absorbed from them at the next group they came across.  Leaving their bodies broken and bloody in a heap against a wall.  

“Hey, Cap why the hell did you drag me outta bed on a Saturday?  Looks to me like Miss Atom Bomb here’s got it covered.” 

“Miss Atom Bomb sounds like way too pretty of a hero name for me, Sam.”  She laughed tossing a smile back at the Falcon, “guys on the Strike team just used to call me Leech.”

“Those guys were assholes.”

“Ya, they were pretty awful most of the time.  M’not gonna be able to keep it up much longer though, I fill up on too much and I burn out quick.  I got a few more bursts in me before I start seeing doubles.”

The bunker ended up being an intel goldmine opening up several leads for the team to follow in their mission to eradicate Hydra once and for all.  Being part of that kind of adrenaline high in person had made Blaire even more dizzy than her burn out, no wonder field agents dreaded being behind a desk.  It wasn’t until they were strapped back in the plane with the sun rising that she was beginning to feel that same dread.  She was dirty and tired but helped more in this mission than she had almost her entire time in Communications.

“How ya feelin’, Briar?”

“Like shit, Romanoff.  How about you?”

Natasha laughed and handed her a rations bar, “good to see you out in the field.  Started feeling like the boy’s club for awhile.”

“How on Earth will you cope with my loss come Monday?”

“A quick word with Coulson and I won’t have to cope with anything.”  She offered.  Producing another rations bar from her pocket like a bribe.

“Nat, I can’t.  Look at me, I’m not fit for field work-”

“You just obliterated more than 50 guys in that bunker and I’ve seen your hand to hand combat, it’s not bad.”

“Ya but I’m about to fucking pass out now.  I mean- it’s complicated.”

The assassin stretched out and settled in next to Blaire trying to think of a way to talk her into it.  Wanda and Vision were off trying to live the domesticality that Tony now had, leaving their team bare bones.  There was no telling when or if Thor would show back up from trying to fix shit back home, they were missing a super and Blaire seemed the best fit.

“You wanna be in communication so bad then why don’t you be our guardian angel when we don’t absolutely need you in the field?  It would get you out of that cubicle more often anyway, sure we could talk Coulson into a pay raise too.  Plus you’ll get to listen to my voice and boss Steve around, what more could you want?”

“You’ve operated without a guide in HQ for so long.  No one’s gonna buy it.”

“They will if Golden Boy and Wings asks.”

Blaire took the second ration bar and rolled her eyes, “I’ll think about it.”

She ended up taking it of course once Nat wanted something she almost always got it, Blaire sure as shit wasn’t going to tell her no.  For the most part it started out really well with the exception of a few hiccups in finding her place on the field when it came to real action.  Off the field was a different story- Blaire knew how to operate a team in a way that both got the job done safely and felt like borderline workplace violence at the same time.  Bucky tended to be the target for the latter on most missions.

“You don’t listen!  Jesus fucking christ I am going to buy a goddamn adult tether backpack for you!  And ya know who’s gonna have to hold the leash?  Wilson!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa don’t drag me into this.  I’m doin’ my job.”

Bucky wanted to dig out the earpiece and throw it, “I still took care of it, didn’t I?”

“You fight like you have handlers still, Barnes.  News flash, you don’t!  I’m the one who has to file all the paperwork when you go off course on your own and cause mayhem and destruction like its the fucking Winter Soldier Show.”

All Bucky did was ignore her suggestion to not engage with the hostiles ahead until Natasha and Steve followed suit.  There were only three guys from what he could see and a hostage was waiting for them with time running out so he did what he thought was best.  There ended up being six instead of three and the hostage received a minor injury when he wasn’t able to get to them fast enough.

“Well, it’s over and done with now so could you just shut up?”

Everyone on the line went dead silent for a few seconds.

“Quinjet is waiting at the extraction point for pick up.  Good job team, we look forward to your safe return to the hanger.  Briar signing off.”  Came the calm check out.

Sam landed next to Bucky with a satisfied chuckle, “oh you fucked up big time, buddy.”

“I hate you.”

She wasn’t waiting for them like she usually did when they landed, coming in a few minutes later with a small med team in tow to look over injuries.  Barnes waved off the attempts to dab blood off of his brow where he caught a stray punch and focused on getting his gear off.  Blaire wasn’t about to let him off the hook just yet, still too blinded by her rage to consider letting them both cool off before talking.

“That’s the third time you ignored me when I told you not to run blindly into enemy fire.  What’s your problem, Barnes?”

“I’m not the one with a problem.”

“Are you kidding?  It’s like you do this shit on purpose just to piss me off.”

“I do!”  He yelled, turning around to make eye contact with her.  “The only time you ever acknowledge me is when I get you riled up.”

“Oh, you poor baby do I not pay enough attention to you so you feel like you gotta act out?”

Bucky dropped the rest of his gear and started towards her, already feeling his energy dropping with each step from her defense.  He didn’t let it show and only stopped when he was in front of her.

“You’re the one with the problem here.  How am I supposed to fix this when you won’t talk to me?  You won’t even look at me dammit!  I’m the only one making an effort and I can’t let go of it if you won’t.”

Their voices boomed in the near empty hanger as Steve was making his way over to break it up after releasing the rescued hostage over to medical, fearing that he may be too late to salvage their already rocky relationship.

“What do you want, huh?  You wanna hit me?  Go on doll, take a shot and get it out of your system.”  Bucky continued leaning down to her height tauntingly.

“Maybe I do.”

“Great, let’s go.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea-”  Rogers started.

“Stay out of it, Steve!”  They shouted in near unison before Blaire turned on her heel and began speed walking to the exit with Bucky right behind her.

The night air was shockingly cold against their flushed skin and it made Bucky think a little more clearly as the door slammed shut behind him.  Only when he went to say something Blaire caught him by surprise with a haymaker to his cheek.  Her punch held more power than he would have thought, momentarily knocking him off balance enough for Blaire to ram him.  The impact of their bodies knocked both down to the wet grass as they struggled until she was on top raining half pulled punches down that she didn’t follow through with.  Her hits fueled by emotion slowly got weaker and weaker until she slid off of him sobbing. 

“I didn’t get mandated therapy.  I lost my dignity and my job and my will to live in the span of a fucking week.”  She choked out, nails digging into the artificial turf. “Then everyone found out it was Pierce that put out the hit and all that footage was just uploaded to the Hydra file.  Oh don’t worry Blaire it’s classified it’s so classified but no we can’t delete it or anything sorry.  I can get into it, I can see that file and I only have level green clearance.  It’s just sitting there for anyone to look at it.  My coworkers, bosses, the fuckin’ guys in coding.  They can just type in credentials and watch me get raped.”

This must have been what Dr. Raynor meant by coming to terms.  Pulling everything ugly out to the open so they didn’t have to dance around it any longer.

He looked strange without any of the guns and knives strapped to him, but it was still The Winter Soldier.  Blaire knew that in an instant from the face mask strapped to him like a muzzle and the silver arm shining against his black modified jacket.  She was frozen. Never in her life had she experienced Freeze instead of Fight, but then again she couldn’t remember the last time she was this scared.  Thoughts ticked off in rapid fire until Tikki jumped up on the counter with a hiss breaking the spell.  She threw the take out bowl of hot matzo ball soup that he easily dodged and turned around to feel under sink for the gun only to find it gone.  A hand clamped something down on the back of her neck, his metal one coming down around her mouth like a vice when she yelled out for help.

“Any of your neighbors try to help they die.”

No, that wasn’t right. He sounded local, like he was from New York.  That wasn’t possible.  The metal crushing her jaw came off when she threw her elbow back with full force catching his ribs.  It came darting back out immediately and shoved her to the kitchen floor on her stomach, his heavy weight on her lower back and ass was crushing as he straddled her.

“Fuck off!  Better kill me because I’m not saying shit about anything.”  She growled trying to buck him off.

There was no answer only his body going still like he wasn’t sure of the next move himself.  Then the weight was gone and for a second Blaire thought that maybe she could get away or at least get to her phone on the counter and send a message to Shield.  It was when she tried crawling away that she felt his fingers hook into her shorts and jerk them down.

“No!”  More panic now than before.  The prospect of death was always looming over her working where she did, but not this.  Please anything but this.

With the shorts off she was rolled to her back as he straddle her hips, his hands trying to catch her wrists again while she fought.  Nails raked down his face and neck, leaving rivets of red and tearing off his mask as they went.  When Blaire caught sight of his face she knew it was over.  There was no emotion there, just a slack jaw and blown out pupils.  He was going through the motions like someone was telling him what to do, a machine being controlled by someone else.  When the soldier did catch her wrists and pin them down with his metal hand he went still again, staring down at her as blood dripped off his face.

“I don’t wanna do this.”  He suddenly announced maybe to her or to no one.

“You don’t have to!  Just leave, just get up and leave.  It’s not too late.”

She could hear the faint static buzz of someone screaming from his earpiece and then the slack look was back and her thighs were being kneed open.  It was happening so fast and Blaire found herself completely powerless, he had done something to her to stop her energy absorption and without that she was just some intern with a little gun training.  No amount of fight, of pleading, would help her now.  Somehow that was more terrifying than anything else.

“Stop it! Get off me, get off!  I’ll fucking kill you!” 

The threats sizzled out into broken shrieks as he thrust into her hard enough to hurt both of them with no prep.  Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes from the pain and violation, droplets of his blood now falling faster onto her as he moved.  Blaire tried catching his hip with her heel to get him off and keep fighting but the metal squeezed her wrists tighter in warning til they gave way with a crunch, his pace never slowing and only growing sloppier.  The pain was too much for her to even scream for help, not that she’d want to.  Didn’t need poor Miss Hoffman coming in here waving her cane to the rescue only to end up dead.

She looked past his blank face to stare at her kitchen ceiling focusing on the water mark in the corner she kept meaning to paint over.  His flesh hand came up to her face to cover and turn it away as if he didn’t want her looking at him.  The kitchen filled with the scent of soldier’s blood making her mouth taste like pennies.  Droplets of it felt like scalding water as it fell on her check and neck.  How long would it take to scrub his scent off?   Her body couldn’t seem to adjust fast enough to allow her any relief but by the grace of whatever cruel god watched the display his hips stuttered and stopped.  A sob bubbled up from the sensation- too hot and too full, seeping out of her before he even pulled out.

There was always a point in his missions where the targets gave in and stopped fighting.  He watched that happen with this one after he stood.  Watched her curl in on herself as she laid there crying with his cum dripping out of her and down the back of her thighs.  Then he was back to her bedroom window without retrieving his mask or the blocking device, no longer listening to whatever was coming through the earpiece.  Mind going absolutely haywire and telling him he just needed to get out.

“I’m sorry, Blaire.  I didn’t know.”  Bucky sat up with his own chest beginning to tighten at what she was telling him, it made him sick.

She cried harder and shook her head, “it’s not your fault, Barnes.  No matter how much I want it to be so I wouldn’t feel so shitty for hating you.  It’s not your fault.”

Without thinking Bucky leaned over and wrapped an arm around Blaire pulling her to his chest.  She tensed at first but relaxed and returned the hug when she felt him begin to shake too.  So they sat together on the wet turf and cried until Steve managed to herd them back inside thankful they hadn’t killed each other. 

Bucky kept a hand on Briar’s shoulder as they entered, “Are we good?”

“Ya, we’re good.”  She clapped him on the back and then punched his arm as an after thought, “but if you ever tell me to shut up during a mission again I’ll tell your therapist and make sure you have to go to sensitivity training.  This doesn’t mean we’re friends.”

“I’ll only get a rise out of you when I want you to yell at me then.”

He watched her roll her eyes and could have sworn he saw the corner of her mouth turn up into a smile.  That made him smile too and Bucky felt a new sense of ease.  Unsurprisingly at his next session with Dr. Raynor he found it easier to open up.

[yespolkadotkitty]

Catfish for Dinner

A dark!Catfish piece inspired by @pajamasecrets​ ‘ HCs here (and thank you for the beta!!). This will be a series of one-shots like my Hummingbird and Nightingale ‘verses.

My Asian OC has been tasked with infiltrating a dangerous weapons cartel undercover.

Warnings: Violence, insinuations of violence, and insinuations of rape.

Catfish for dinner, the note read. I stuffed it in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed without tasting. If anyone were to discover that Maria the cook had been passing messages to me…. my stomach whirled at the thought of what might happen to her.

What the note meant, I had no clue. I only had to stay alive until I found out.

Later that day, the buzz of a small plane interrupted a make-out session I was enduring with one of Cerrino’s lackeys. I didn’t dare look up; I continued moaning as if his mouth was a gift from God (it wasn’t).

The pilot of the little Cessna 172 appeared at dinner. The staff served their usual smorgasbord of mediterranean fish, steak, and vine leaves, with copious amounts of wine.

Cerrino stood and gestured widely. “Ah, at last, our new pilot,” he announced. “May he live longer than Nikolai.”

I swallowed, the wine like dust in my mouth, as I recalled the end Nikolai had met. Unsavoury was a severe understatement.

The stranger stood on the steps leading up to the big table, silent. A ballcap that read standard oil company was tugged low on his head, hiding his eyes. I got the impression of a strong jaw, scruffy at the edges, and broad shoulders. He wore a faded red button down and dirty jeans atop aged hiking boots.

“Meet Catfish,” Cerrino drawled, toasting with his glass. A little wine sloshed down out of the glass and on to one of the cartel lackey’s heads. He did not react; he knew better. “Before you sit at my table, I need to know you are loyal.”

Without preamble, he pulled a Glock 19 from his waistband and tossed it to Catfish. The tanned man caught it and checked the cartridge.

Cerrino yanked up the lackey he’d spilled wine on by the collar. The man’s dyed blond hair was streaked with red from the alcohol, a twisted sort of foreboding. “Kill him.”

The lackey started trembling.

My gaze was riveted on Catfish. He lifted his head and I caught his gaze for a fraction of a second - big soulful brown eyes that looked very, very tired.

He pulled the trigger. His hand didn’t shake. Not once.

A couple of lackeys came to clean up what was left of their colleague. Cerrino sat back down and stuffed a vine leaf in his mouth like he wasn’t covered in blood spatter.

Catfish had made a clean kill - a single headshot. But my stomach still rebelled. I covered it by taking a tiny sip of wine, holding the liquid in my mouth, and trying not to vomit.

“Come, sit.” Cerrino gestured to the space between me and another girl, also Chinese, her inky black hair pulled into a high ponytail. Cerrino and his fellow arms dealers seemed to have a thing for Asian girls. Not that I could complain. It was the reason I’d been able to infiltrate them, wasn’t it?

Catfish slid the pistol into the back of his waistband and moved over to our side of the table on silent feet, despite his rangy, muscular form. He wasn’t big, but lean and lithe. Dark hair curled out from under his ballcap. As he pulled out a chair and sat, I glimpsed a smattering of grey in the patchy scruff clinging to his jawline. His scent reached me, motor oil and clean sweat and just a kiss of thyme. A combination that could quickly become addictive, if a girl wasn’t careful.

One of the staff moved to pour him wine. He didn’t react.

I clenched my free hand on my thigh, nervous. Was this who Maria’s note had meant, and if so, was he going to say something?

“The house is yours,” Cerrino said across the table through a mouthful of oily fish. A little grease ran down his chin; he didn’t bother to swipe it away. “As are the girls. Any you like; I am generous to those who... remain loyal to me.”

The unspoken subtext in his words were crystal clear.

Catfish sipped his wine. His gaze darted to me and then to Abigail, the girl on his other side. She smiled at him nervously. Newer than me, she’d cried the day before yesterday and narrowly escaped a beating for it.

Abigail - not her real name, I suspected - met my gaze behind Catfish’s back, and shook her head minutely. She’d been a virgin when she’d arrived here-- I knew.

I hadn’t even breathed a syllable about my real intentions here to anyone. Even Maria, on agency payroll, wasn’t a hundred percent sure who I was-- only that I was important and that she was to feed me whatever information came her way.

Resolutely, I winked at Abigail. I would make advances on the man between us to save her from having to bed him. I let my gaze rake over him. Tall, rangy. Mid forties, perhaps? Those big dark eyes would be nice to look into while I pretended to enjoy myself. Over the last six months I’d become very good at pretending. 

If I didn’t get out soon, the line between pretense and reality would blur even further.

Abigail’s face deflated in relief and she went back to picking at her food.

“What’s the matter?” Cerrino asked, his wine glass full again. “Those two not to your liking?”

I looked up and around the room. I had become used to this debauchery at dinner. Several of Cerrino’s inner circle had girls on their laps who fed them tidbits of food. Sometimes they fed  us girls, either with their hands or directly from their mouths. That was my least favourite.

Cerrino’s right hand man, Addison, sat to his left, his tongue so far down a girl’s throat that he could easily have been examining her tonsils. I hated kissing Addison.

I’d been surprised an hour earlier when Abigail and I had been seated together, no man between us. Now I knew why.

Catfish set his wine down and drummed his finger on the table. If I was reading him right, he had no wish to dally with either of us, but I knew Cerrino when he was drunk. He liked everyone under the cartel’s influence to fall in with him; share his vices, be equally complicit.

“Kiss me,” I hissed.

Catfish’s dark brow winged up.

“Not Abigail,” I murmured, smiling through it as I leaned into him. “Me. Abigail is scared.”

If he understood what I meant, he didn’t show it. Instead, he gave me an almost imperceptible nod, and then pushed his chair back and tugged me on to his lap. I perched on his thigh as his arm came tight around my waist and he lifted his face for a kiss. I couldn’t read the emotion in his bottomless brown eyes--if indeed any emotion was present--but I’d rather it was me than Abigail, so I lowered my head and met his mouth.

He kissed me hard, licking into my mouth right away. He tasted of red wine and just a shiver of mint, and the scruff on his top lip tickled my skin. At any moment, I expected his free hand to come up and grope me, somewhere, anywhere, but he only kissed me, nipping my bottom lip as he ended the contact.

Cerrino had sat down to eat again, apparently satisfied. I knew what would happen now. I would have to go to this man’s room tonight. I would be at his mercy. 

Dinner continued. Catfish held me on his lap, saying nothing, and I wondered if I would ever hear his voice. I kept replaying the moment he’d shot the lackey in my mind, like taking a life was nothing to him. If that was so, he truly belonged among these terrifying men.

I tried to eat. Catfish didn’t comment as I forced down a few bites of vine leaves and fish. The food was delicious as usual, spiced and savoury, and I gulped water. For his part, Catfish seemed to listen to the conversations between the men and Cerrino. His face seemed relaxed, but I could feel the tension coiled in his long, lean body as he sat beneath me.

I peeked over his shoulder. The Glock sat there, just a few inches from my arm around his neck. 

Abigail saw the path of my gaze and shook her head minutely.

I could do it, though. I knew I could.

I just needed a distraction. Was I planning on shooting anyone right now? No. Of course not. But a gun, stashed somewhere in my tiny little room, that’d be something worth having. Even if it had only that one bullet in it. I could surely steal the correct ammunition from somewhere in this Godforsaken pleasure pit.

Humming as if I was having a grand time, I trailed my hand up Catfish’s chest, toying with the open neck of his button-down shirt. He didn’t outwardly react, but I saw a muscle in his cheek tic. I’ve got you, I thought, my fingers slipping over the hollow in his throat, as the palm of my other hand slowly descended down his back.

“Dancing with the devil, honey?” he asked, and the endearment was not said as such.

In that moment I realised two things: one - his face might be nice, but his voice, that husky-edged, kiss of Texas drawl, was made for absolute sin - and two, Catfish was a guy I wouldn’t be able to win over as easily as most of the one-brain-cell lackeys here.

“Just getting a taste of what’s to come tonight,” I lied, sweetly.

Catfish snorted. I noticed he’d barely touched his wine. Either he, like me, was here on false pretences, or, even more dangerously, he was one of them, but without the usual vices of women or alcohol to dull the edge of his more unsavoury appetites.

Which one it was, I would find out soon enough.

******

 Part 2: Off the Deep End

Tagging: @emmy-dandiliom918​ @spacegayofficial​ @thirstworldproblemss @cinewhore @poenariuniverse​ @keeper0fthestars​ @scarlettvonsass​ @casually-introverted​ @knittingqueen13​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @10-96dispatcher @buckstaposition​ @agirllovespasta​ @songsformonkeys​  kiizhikehn-cedar

[dontcallmecarrie]

Hi! I love your By Dawn’s Early Light series, and I am wondering what Tony and Maria are going to do about Shield. Given that they both adhere to a brand of hyper competent karma, and that pesky agency was both founded by Howard, got in their way multiple times through emps, spies, and forced relocations, and are probably still up to some not so great meddling, I am hoping for them to get some Juno and company brand reckonings.

Please bear in mind that By Dawn's Early Light started out more as a writer's-block-buster than anything else, because of a spite-inspired "lol wouldn't it be funny if one of the moms that got fridged derailed the entire MCU without even trying?" that ended up coming with a side of found family fluff even as things got serious.

It didn't originally have a plot, like 90% was just me going "hey, wouldn't it be cool if [insert thing here] happened?" and spitballing and messing around because my WIPs weren't cooperating and I needed to switch gears for a moment.

Most of my fics, I have a hard outline and overarching plot and theme song going on before I post the first chapter. Not this time, though; when I started this AU, all I knew was that I wanted at least one (1) fic that explored some themes about abuse and found family fluff in a super-specific way I hadn't seen in fanfic before, so I just put the theme song on loop and started writing.

...which is now technically two [maybe three?] different AUs, because a while back when I was first writing my coding nightmare fic [aka my seven-different-AUs-in-a-trenchcoat fic, By Myself But Not Alone], part of me went "hey, you know what would be fun? If the original team of the MCU got dropped into this mess!"

Which, of course, resulted in a convoluted mess because partway through I realized I'd need to differentiate them more if I didn't want to get bored.

So now I have 3 AUs going on: the original premise, By Dawn's Early Light, as well as two spinoffs.

In the original, I... am still kinda drawing a blank because, again, this wasn't meant to be anything more complex than a writer's-block-buster. The plot went sideways from the start and I can count on one hand how many more scenes I'm interested in exploring, one of them being "Howard gets punched", but overall I kinda wrote myself into a corner because I have no idea how it's going to end.

In theory, there should be some Big Confrontations— but ehhh some of the themes in that AU are hitting way too close to home atm, so lol not touching that mess anytime soon.

again, this AU's focus was originally meant to be found family fluff

For the spinoffs, Howard Stark's going down, full stop.

The specifics are going to differ slightly depending on the AU in question, but one way or another, his career's days are numbered. In at least one of those AUs, SHIELD isn't going to be his ally; outside machinations have made it so that he's going to kind of be hoisted by his own petard.

[persephonesinfernos]

constellations | part two.

summary: there are only 88 officially recognized constellations, a small number considering you and your soulmate would have the exact same constellation on your skin. how can be sure if it was really them with so few of them? you could mistake your soulmate. 

word count: 1225.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

constellations masterlist | masterlist

The alarm of your phone went off at 6:00 am waking you up as a slightly burn was felt all over your upper body. Nerves, stress, anxiety. You took a deep breath as you got up from the bed, a shower was much more needed after your non-study night due to Erik.

When you finished your shower, Erik has already left for his dorm leaving you a plate of pancakes with a note saying “Go get them girl, love you”. You smiled as a blush covered your cheeks, Erik was one of the best things that had happened to you and you couldn’t be more delightful to share your life with him.

You went back to your room to prepare for the interview, more like a trial from what your professor has told you and not knowing what you were against to was making you bloody nervous. The burning sensation on your skin was only getting stronger and a bad feeling started to bubble on your chest.

The room was filled with people from your college, some of them you knew and others you did not. You let out a sigh and went to sit next to one of your classmates from your Criminal Psychology class, he seemed serene as opposed to you and you couldn’t help to wonder how he was keeping this calm façade.

Some minutes passed and nothing was happening, the burning sensation on your skin became an itching sensation and you didn’t notice how your fingers started scratching your ribs almost obsessively.

Your professor and a dark-haired woman entered the room, making all of you quiet and to stand still. “This is Miss Hill, she will be guiding you through this test for the internship.” Professor Stewart said looking to all of you.

“Thank you, Professor Stewart, I can get it from here.” She smiled thankfully to your professor. “Well candidates, my name is Maria Hill and I will be the one to decide whether you are or are not the best fit for what my agency wants. As you know, we haven’t given you much insight at the requisites for landing the job, but that it is because we want to know how you react to unexpected events while working on a case, your reactions times, how quickly can you make a decision based on the data that’s placed on the table.”

Fuck it, you were not ready for this and you needed to get the hell out of here before you embarrassed yourself in front of your colleges. Panic was rushing through your veins and your fingers were scratching your side so violently that if someone saw you, they would think that you needed to get to a psychiatrist for obsessive behaviour.

Before you could get up to leave the room Maria Hill said your name, you were the first one to start the test. Of course, you were, just your luck. Now you couldn’t back off, so you just closed your eyes for a sec trying to calm yourself and followed Hill to an adjacent room.

Three hours later you were returning home, the test was hard enough to mess with your perception of the world. You knew bad things, horrible things were happening around you every day and those had been happening since the beginning of humanity but you lived in a secure place and now you began to doubt your major. Were you really the type of person to live and work in such a dark world? Were you strong enough?

When you arrived home you stripped all of your clothes to change into something comfier and then you noticed all the redness on your ribs. Running you were to the bathroom to take a better look, a warm sensation coursing through your fingers, something you haven’t felt since you learn about the soulmate thing.

There it was, a constellation of freckles on your ribs, something you just assumed would never see or feel. But when did it happen? When did it form completely? You haven’t felt the burning sensation neither your skin has glowed.

Shaking off this last thought, you opened your laptop and searched for the constellation name. You were edgy to know more about it. “Antlia, the Air Pump”, a faint constellation but all the stars that formed the constellation shared a common envelope meaning that there were so close that one day they will merge to form a single star.

As you opened another tab to investigate more about the constellation someone knocked on your door, Erik. You opened the door, he seemed in shock but you couldn’t think much about it as he hugged you tightly. “I know I should ask you about the test, but something happened this morning. I felt it (Y/N), look.”

Your boyfriend unbuttoned his shirt, showing his biceps as your eyes widened. A freckle constellation, so similar to yours, it was the Antlia. It all makes sense to you now, but why it didn’t happen the first time you two met? Why now? It didn’t matter, Erik was your soulmate.

You lifted up your shirt, showing him your own constellation earning a deep and heartfelt laugh from him as his hands cupped your face. “I knew it, I knew the first time I met you that it was you. Gosh (Y/N), I love you so much”. He said with teary eyes as he kissed you passionately.

A few days had passed since Erik revealed that Antlia was on his skin too, but something didn’t seem right. You couldn’t think of what, but definitely, something was off about that revelation. Well, at least for you. He was so over the moon, always next to you as if you were a possession, something that has never happened before. Maybe it was because you were soulmates.

Because you were, right? Gosh, your mind wouldn’t stop nagging you about it, about this change of behaviour but you did nothing. Your boyfriend was happy, incredibly happy about and bothering him with your thoughts was not the best idea.

A phone call snapped you out of your feelings, you didn’t know the number but a small smile appeared in your face. “Hello? Yeah, this is her” You answer.

Maria Hill welcomed you as you stepped in your professor’s office, this place was going to hold the meeting but no one was there yet except for Hill and yourself. Oddly enough you were calm, your mind was at ease as the clock was ticking and your future team members were nowhere to be seen.

Then, someone came in. “Rogers, you’re late.” Hill said.

“I know and I am sorry but Sam and Bucky…” He said apologetically. “You must be (Y/N), pleasure to meet you. Your trial test was one the brightest I’ve ever seen, amazing future ahead of yours.” He smiled at you as you shook hands.

Then something happened, as the door was opening for the second time today you felt it. An air pump that left you cold followed almost immediately by a burning sensation that started on your belly to spread to every inch of your body and finally you felt as the skin on your ribs was glowing as you looked down to your body ‘cause you felt yourself ignite.

After that all became dark.

[marvels-writings]

Made Us Work

Maria Hill Masterlist

Make Us Work (Prequel)

Requested by Many People

Ideas credit to @summergeezburr

Word Count: 1,671 (longish but fluffy)

A/N: This was probably one of my fav Maria Hill works I’ve written

They say raising a child is one of the scariest things a person will do in their lifetime. For you and your wife, adopting a child was the scariest thing either of you had ever done.

You stood with your wife, waiting in front of the adoption center for the little girl you planned to adopt. You’d worn a simple t-shirt, jeggings, and a thin jacket. After almost an hour of indecisiveness, Maria had chosen a navy blue button-up and slacks.

Maria fidgeted with your fingers, back rigidly straight as nervousness was written plain on her face. You sighed and squeezed her hand in yours reassuringly.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked, hand in hers securely.

“Everything,” Maria answered, clenching her jaw nervously.

“Talk to me,” You whispered, turning around to face her.

Emotions flickered in her blue eyes, you cupped her cheek in your hand and stroked her cheekbone, urging her to talk to you. Your wife sighed, leaning into your touch before speaking.

“I just, we’ve gotten so far, it’s a little surprising,” Maria whispered.”

You smiled, knowing what she was talking about.

After Maria had torn apart the divorce papers, things had been bumpy. But you proposed a vacation, so both of you could find out why you had fallen love. It worked, you felt closer to your wife than you had in years. The vacation ended sooner than you thought it would, but it was both of you needed.

Maria had made a promise to make your relationship work. She lived up to it. If there were missions, she made sure to postpone them on days that weren’t important to you. You arranged a date night every Saturday for both of you. Maria almost started crying when she missed it once.

Everything was going as you hoped, your marriage was back to the way you wanted it to be. But something was missing. Maria felt it too, there was something both of you wanted, but neither of you knew what it was.

Until you saw a mother and her children in the grocery store, you realized you wanted to raise a family with her. You vividly remember asking her about it over dinner on date night.

“What do you think about having kids?” You asked her, playing with your dinner with your fork. 

Your wife almost choked on her wine, coughing as she tried to speak. Your eyes widened in shock. You didn’t expect the question to surprise her this much.

“Where did that come from?” Maria asked, coughing and trying to get the wine out of her nose.

“I just, we both know something is missing. Maybe we should consider adopting?” You asked, unsure of her reaction.

Maria contemplated it, insecurities slowly seeping into her. Was she right to raise a child? Her parents had failed to raise her and she didn’t want the same for her child. Maria knew you would make an amazing mother, but she didn’t know if she was right to become a parent.

You saw the thoughts racing through her mind, almost hearing them as if they were your own. Reaching across the table, you took her hand in yours and ran your thumb over her knuckles, dragging her out of her thoughts.

Your wife turned to look up at you with a sigh, watching you intently with blue eyes. With another sigh, she started speaking what she was thinking about.

“Are we right to raise a child?” Maria asked, all of her insecurities seeping into her voice.

“Am I right to raise a child?” She corrected, making sure you knew what she meant.

You smiled at her, the sincerity and softness in your smile comforting her. You looked down at your joined hands, contemplating your answer.

“I think you are,” You answered, the nervousness from your tone gone. Maria opened her mouth to speak but you took in a deep breath, indicating you needed to talk about what was on your mind.

“I know you’re scared that you’re going to raise a child wrong,” You began, Maria nodded for you to continue.

“But you’re going to make an amazing mother, you’re kind, caring, considerate, and extremely protective. If you aren’t ready for something like this, that’s okay. But don’t reject the idea of raising a kid because you’re scared you’re not good enough.” You assured, thumb running over her knuckles as you stared at your joined hands.

Taking in a deep breath, you looked up at your wife. There was a tear that had made its way down her right eye. You took your hand away from hers and wiped the tear away with your thumb. Maria reached up and held your hand there, taking in a deep breath.

“Okay,” Maria said, you tilted your head to the side curiously.

“Okay?” You asked, stroking her cheekbone with your thumb.

“Let’s do this,” Maria smiled.

You grinned at the soft smile on her face, the readiness in her eyes. You knew she would make an amazing mother.

So here you stood, in front of the adoption center waiting for your little girl to finish her goodbyes. The next morning, both of you took a day off and looked up the best adoption agencies. On the weekends after, you visited the nearest adoption center.

At first, it was more chaotic and scary than you had ever imagined. Maria squeezed your hand tightly, terrified. But after the manager started introducing you to the children, you felt yourself start to calm down and interact with them.

Maria stared from a distance at how you interacted with them, she saw the gentleness in your motions and the admiration in your smile. It reassured her that what you were doing was right.

A child tugging on her hand drew her out of her thoughts. She looked down to find a small brunette child looking up at her before stepping back. Maria smiled, glancing over at you nervously. You gave her a small nod before another child attracted your attention.

“Can you help me read this?” The child asked, her voice soft and baby-like.

Maria nodded and knelt to her eye level for the child to show her a picture book with the word ‘Mother’ written on one page. She smiled at the child before explaining it to her. After explaining, the child started asking questions after introducing herself as Ashlyn.

While reading to her, Maria couldn’t help thinking, she was about to raise a child with you. She was about to be a mother.

The entire time you were there, Maria spent it with the little girl. After that, every weekend, you went with Maria to visit the children. Ashlyn got attached to Maria and got scared when she saw your wife interacting with another child. The little girl almost started crying at the prospect of seeing Maria interact with someone else.

Your wife was quick to comfort her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and rubbing her back in a calming motion. Her eyes filled with concern and care for the child in her arms. You knew there and then who you needed to adopt.

A month later, Ashlyn was ready to come to your home. Maria had bought all of you matching necklaces to make her feel more welcome. The same necklaces she fidgeted within her pocket as she waited for the manager to bring her out.

“She’s here,” You whispered, nudging her ribs.

Maria looked up to see the little girl dressed in a bright blue t-shirt, a thick black jacket, and light blue pants. A wide grin on her face, her hand holding the manager’s as she was directed to you. You smiled, at the manager, offering her your hand to shake.

The manager, Mrs. Cruz let go of Ashlyn’s hand to shake yours. The little girl ran to Maria instantly, hugging her leg and squealing as your wife picked her up. You smiled at the softness in Maria’s features, turning back to discuss a few things with the manager.

Your wife buckled Ashlyn in the car seat you’d gotten for her. You finished talking to the manager and got into the driver's seat. Maria sat down with the little girl in the back of the car.

“So, you ready to see your new home?” Maria asked, tickling the 4-year-old.

Ashlyn squealed and nodded happily.

“Look! Mrs. Cruz helped me pick out a t-shirt that matches your eyes!” Ashlyn pointed out.

Maria’s face broke out into a grin as she nodded through teary eyes. You smiled to yourself, listening to their interactions on your drive home. When you arrived, Maria was quick to unbuckle her from the car seat and pick her up, carrying her inside.

“You like it?” Maria asked, showing her around your home.

The little girl nodded excitedly, hopping out of Maria’s arms to explore. You followed your wife in with a soft grin, wrapping your arm around her waist and squeezing her side lightly. But before you could say anything to her, Maria called Ashlyn back over to them.

“I got a surprise for you,” Maria grinned, kneeling and showing her the necklace.

It was a small, light blue heart with a silver chain attached to it. Ashlyn squealed over it, letting Maria put it around her neck. The 4-year-old held it in her small hands, admiring the gemstone. When she looked up, she noticed both of you had the same necklaces.

“We’re a family, I thought we should match,” You explained, kneeling and showing her your necklace.

The little girl teared up and jumped up, each of her arms around your necks tightly. You and Maria laughed, picking up your daughter and sitting down on the couch. Ashlyn played with the necklace in your lap as you turned to face Maria.

“We made us work,” You whispered, resting your hand on your daughter’s back. Maria smiled at you with tears in her eyes.

“We made us work,” Maria repeated, pulling you and your daughter close to her.

A/N: Please tell me what you think!

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @5aftermidnight, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart  , @never-didbefore , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @marvelbbyx , @wlw-imaginesss , @hcartbyheart​ , @summergeezburr​ , @imnotasuperhero  let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

[littlelegend]

Musical StH AU

It started with a silly drawing and now I want to share every single thought I got with the world.

In the world of this AU magic doesn't exist and the technology is on the same level as the one in our world.

So the main character of the AU is my mobian version of Orbot, whose name is Oliver. Orbot is his stage name because he is a famous idol. Robotic part of Orbot is just his stage thing. Cubot is his friendly bodyguard who likes listening to him sing.

Orbot's idol design:

Cat Orbot design was done by @hebby-arts

Eggman is his manager and basically every other major character is a musician too somehow.

Starline is Eggman's assistant who underestimates himself and REALLY wants to be a famous in show buisness but Eggman teaches him nothing and only uses him for running around with his coffee.

Infinite is a leader of a hardcore heavy metal band called "The Jackal Squad". Infinite's mask is their logo.

Miles (Anti-Tails) plays the second guitar in Scourge's band "Suppression Squad" while also secretly being an idol on the side. Oliver and Miles are the part of the same idol agency so they sing together at times. Miles lied to the "Suppression Squad" that Tails is the actual idol and he just helps him out because if they knew they'd laugh at him.

Sonic, Knuckles and Tails are not singers, they are a famous dancing team that is known for making the craziest moves on stage. The moves themselves sometimes are actually dangerous, so all the kids are warned not to repeat them. Staged dance fighting is their specialty.

Antoine is a choreography teacher that basically works for every idol/band in town and also exclusive trainer for Sonic's crew.

Antoine's design was made by @kotomisadventures

Bunnie, Amy, Sally and Blaze created a girls only band that just oozes with charm. They called themselves "Heavy hitters" and Cream and Cheese are their little mascots. Antoine and Bunnie met when he was creating a routine for them. Siver is Blaze's talented friend and the one in charge of special effects during their performances. Some people even suspect that those are not special effects but magic.

Shadow's adoptive sister Maria taught him how to play guitar and after she died he used to play for food on the streets until Rouge found him and offered to take a part in the project. He became a very powerful goth/emo/(insert dark angsty subculture here because I am dumb and don't know them) icon that all girls swoon over because he is such a bad boy. Rouge manages him with a pretty big record company backing her up and Omega is a former thug who was so touched by one of Shadow's songs about Maria, he actually joined the team as Shadow's private bodyguard.

"The Hooligans" is a band with obvious members, they are not too good, but they are pretty popular underground despite the fact that their music is usually just consists of the covers of other popular songs.

Chaotix is a background band. None of them sings because Vector and Charmy have horrible voices and Espio doesn't like to be in the center of attention. They still work as detectives and sometimes give exclusive information to the newspapers. Charmy was let on the team because surprisingly enough he has a very natural talent with drums. They get by by playing at restaurants and on different celebrations when they can't get a gig at some famous performance. Espio can shred on guitar quite well, but he taught that to Vector and prefers the piano or that other electronic key instrument (forgot the name again).

And that's basically it. It's not much but it's something I've been thinking about all day. If you have any other fun ideas, feel free to add them/send them in)

[dumbchickwrites]

office affairs -- part 1

Pairing: CEO!Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: Sam is the CEO of the Red Wing PR agency where Reader has been working for the past two years. Problem is, they both think one hates the other. However, when their friends set them up on a blind date, they’ll realise that it was all a big misunderstanding.

Words: 1.9K

Warnings: language.

A/N: This new series is part of @marvelmaree​‘s birthday challenge (happy birthday Maree!) The series will be updated part by part and the masterlist will be available on my blog as well as Maree’s. I hope you enjoy! <3

“What do you think about him, Nat?”

Maria shoves her phone in Natasha’s face, stopping the redhead from biting into her taco. Nat doesn’t seem to mind though. She’s used to Maria’s antics.

“Hmm, no. She’d leave halfway through the date,” Natasha said, scrunching her nose at the screen.

“Hum, hello? I’m right here?” you wave your hands in front of their faces and scoff when they look at you like you just interrupted a discussion at the Pentagon. “Can you guys do this another time?”

When Maria and Natasha offered to set you up on a blind date a few days ago, you thought they were joking. Which is understandable, you know, they had a few drinks in them already and it was late. So you just laughed the absurd conversation off like a normal person.

The only issue is, they were dead serious and to this day, they’re still looking for a date. You would try to stop them, but you gave up two days ago after they got your sister Noelle involved. That traitor agreed to team up with them to find you a date because – and quote “your coochie is probably covered in spiderwebs already”. After that you decided to let them have their fun. Not because your coochie is… your coochie is fine, okay? Thank you very much.

Natasha finally takes a bite of her taco, the crunch of the tortilla making you wince slightly, and turns her attention back to the phone. You scoff at the blatant disrespect. Unfortunately, the action doesn’t pair well with the grain of rice that was apparently stuck in your throat and you start coughing like a madwoman.

This is the moment your boss chooses to sneak a peek in Maria’s office.

“Hey ladies—woah, is everything okay?” Mr. Wilson asks, slightly alarmed.

You nod as best as you can, your eyes filled with tears, and turn your back to him in hopes to preserve your last ounce of dignity as you choke on your miserable grain of rice. Maria hands you a bottle of water as Natasha reassures Mr. Wilson.

“We’re okay, Sam. She’s just enjoying her sushi a bit too much.”

“Oh. See you later, then.”

You don’t see him wave, and you don’t see the look your friends share either.

“Oh my God!” You exhale once the cough is gone. “I just saw my life flash before my eyes.”

“Oh please, would you stop being such a drama queen?”

Nat hands you a napkin and you use it to dry your tears. You’ll touch up your makeup after lunch.

You brush off the comment and take another sip of water before you speak. “I feel like the esteem he has for me is totally gone by now. Or do you think there’s still a bit left? I mean I outdid myself with the Drax event last month.”

“Sam doesn’t hate you. He’s just…”

You raise your eyebrows at Maria, waiting for her to finish her sentence but nothing comes. You throw your arms in the air in defeat.

For a reason unknown to you, Sam Wilson, CEO of the PR agency Red Wing, does not like you very much. At least that’s what you’re assuming. You’ve never done anything but a good job for the two years you’ve been working at the company and yet, every time you make eye contact with the man he averts his gaze like you’re Medusa or something. The worst thing is, he’s friendly with almost everyone else. Natasha is one of his closest friends, and in a relationship with his best friend – she practically helped him build the company. So yes, you kind of feel like the black sheep of the office.

“You know what,” you say, pouring more soy sauce in the little receptacle that came with the food. “Maybe something’s keeping him away from me, the universe—or God, and maybe that’s for the best.” You finish with a shrug.

“Believe it or not, Sam’s actually a decent person.”

“Okay.”

Natasha and Maria share another look before the three of you move onto another topic as you finish your lunch.

The rest of the afternoon at work is uneventful. All of your projects are up to date already because you like to be ahead of things, so you decide to just call it a day and head home early.

Before you do, you drop by Maria’s office to say bye. She simply nods and waves without taking the phone away from her ear. And of course Natasha’s office is the last stop.

Her blinds are always drawn over the glass walls, so you never know what happens in there. The last time you barged in her office she was making out with her boyfriend James, and God help you, you never want to know what would have happened if you’d gone in there a minute later. So naturally you knock, then go in when she answers.

And you freeze in the doorway.

Mr. Wilson is in here. That’s not uncommon. She’s his right hand lady. They’re almost always together. You know that. So why are you standing here awkwardly? Mr. Wilson smiles at you. It’s a polite smile – a professional smile – the kind that doesn’t really reach his eyes and for a moment you wonder what he looks like when he smiles from the heart.

That is before he looks away and shakes his head, like he can’t even stand the sight of you. You hold the sigh and the eye roll.

“I just wanted to say bye,” you say to Natasha. “I’m heading home early.”

“All right, sugar. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You give her a smile then head out, finally releasing that sigh.

Home is where the heart is. And what better way to describe your eight year old niece than that?

Michelle is the light of your life. She’s the smartest, funniest little girl you’ve ever met and a gift that keeps on giving. She arrived when you were still in college, and you moved in with your sister, at her request, when Michelle was born. The three of you have been inseparable ever since.

Usually at this time of the day, Michelle would still be at school, but she’s recovering from a cold and her mom doesn’t want her near other kids during this time.

The sound of “Almost There” from The Princess and the Frog greets you as you step into the foyer of your home. You hum along quietly as you kick your heels off, get rid of your coat and leave your purse on the messy console.

“Sounds like you’re feeling better Mimi,” you tease the little girl with a smile once you get to the living room.

She immediately stops singing along and runs toward you to give you a hug.

“I am! But mommy said I can’t go to school for another couple of days,” she pouts.

“She’s right, that was a nasty cold you had there.”

Mimi throws her head back in a dramatic groan which makes you chuckle. She loves going to school and learning, which is something you’re very grateful for. Homework time always goes smoothly and she’s actually excited to go to school in the morning.

Your niece goes back to the couch and buries herself under the mountain of blankets and pillows before she turns her attention back to the movie.

“Hey Noelle,” you greet your sister when you get to the kitchen.

You’re not actually hungry but you could use a cookie or two. Maybe three.

“Hey,” Noelle lifts her eyes from her laptop. “You’re home early.”

“Yeah, I was done with today’s work. I can see you can’t say the same for yourself.”

Noelle rolls her eyes. “Elena just dumped two new manuscripts on my ass. Thank God I love my job and the pay because girl, I’m exhausted.” She takes her glasses off and rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands.

“Tea?”

“Yes, please.”

You pour water in the kettle and set it on the stove. You take out two mugs, a Tinkerbell one for Noelle and a Dumbo one for you, your favourite jasmine tea bags and honey.

“How was work?” Noelle asks as she shut her laptop and puts in on top of the pile of manuscripts next to her.

“The usual. Nat and Maria are still bothering me with this blind date business and I blame you for it.”

“Me?” Noelle feigns innocence with a hand on her chest.

It’s your turn to roll your eyes.

Seeing that you’re not buying her cheap act, Noelle straightens in her seat and starts fiddling with the Post-Its sticking out of the manuscripts. “Actually, I think we found someone.”

You nearly drop the teaspoons you’re holding.

“You what?”

“You heard me.”

You narrow your eyes at her.

You’ve always had a good relationship with your sister. She’s your best friend, she’s been by your side through every rough patch of your life, and you know she’ll always be here for you. But sometimes, she really, really gets on your goddamn nerves. Not just because of situations like these. Noelle is the kind of person who puts everyone’s needs before her own, that is why she often finds herself drowning in a sea of problems that aren’t even hers. More than once you’ve had to be the one to pull her out of the water.

The whistle of the kettle makes you stop with the murder glare and you pour the water into the mugs.

“You have to stop being so wary. Don’t you trust us?”

“Not right now, no.”

Noelle gives you a look.

“Just give it a chance.”

“Oh, like you gave a chance to Amara’s mom?” you say, eyebrows raised and voice dripping with sass.

“It’s not—She—I’m busy with the—”

“Aht aht! I don’t wanna hear it!” you raise your hand and grab your mug, heading to the living room.

You settle on the couch with Noelle and Mimi – who’s now watching some kids’ cooking show-- and the three of you  enjoy the rest of the afternoon together.

Some time during the evening, while you’re going through your skin care routine, your phone dings with a message notification. It says Natasha added you to the group chat Spider Coochie.

These girls…

Nat: So… we found someone.

Maria: This is amazing. I’m already excited.

Noelle: GIRL.

You: You can’t be serious.

Maria: Oh but we are.

Nat: Friday night, L’Orage, 8:00. “Spider” is what you’ll say to the host.

You: “Spider”? Are you fucking kidding me?

You hear Noelle cackle as you sit on the edge of you bed.

Maria: Hey, it was your sister’s idea.

You roll your eyes.

You: Can I at least get a hint?

Noelle: Hell no.

Nat: Everything’s gonna be fine. You can go to bed now.

You: Ugh. I don’t even have the strength to argue with you.

Maria: Good.

You lock your phone with a loud groan – loud enough to make sure Noelle hears it from wherever she is – and you let your body fall on the mattress.

As much as you try to pretend you’re annoyed by all of this, you can’t help but be excited by the idea. A bit curious as well. But you trust your friends. They would never put you in an embarrassing position and pair you up with some awful sewer rat.

A sigh leaves your lips.

As the saying goes: “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.”