#so I went the angsty/tragic path

[pixelatedraindrops]

Yuma Month: Day 18: Future

“Thank you for coming... Makoto.”

“Oh come now... Discard your emotions.

You are my homunculus are you not?”

"...You are cruel for this...shouldering me with yet another burden…

Kurumi...is still looking for you..."

“I know…I’m sorry.

Tell her…my journey has been extended.”

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Kiko’s Masterlist

This is a Master for the important links for my stories 😊

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Another Level Masterlist

Status: Complete

“You’re a Zenin.”

More like an unwanted mistake. Which, funny enough, had actually been the first words she ever heard her father say to her. - Kurisaki Rinko was born an unwanted bastard child to the Zenin clan, having since grown into an unwanted bastard adult. Her stubborn refusal to be discarded resulted in a display of strength that many would call (they had, many times to her face, in fact) an unhinged lack of self-preservation. But lucky for her, that unhinged display caught the attention of a particular blue-eyed menace who happens to be more fun to rile up than anyone she’s ever met.

Read Another Level on AO3

Physical Paradox Masterlist

Status: In Progress

How they went from: “I’m kinda impressed,” Gojo stated, sliding his sunglasses onto his face. “Didn’t expect a psych major to know this much about philosophical theory.” Rinko blinked at him slowly, raising her eyebrows as she scoffed. “I’m sorry, mister unresolved childhood trauma,” she said, stepping closer and poking a finger in his chest. “But I don’t really give a fuck if you’re impressed.”

To: “Your professor is leading the world of cognitive and behavioral research,” Gojo told Rinko's students, chest swelling with pride. “And she’s really pretty-” “Oh, she’s fucking gorgeous!” he agreed. “She has it all. Smart, funny, beautiful. She’s honestly perfect. It’s incredible she-” “Married you?” Touma interjected. “I know. I thought the same thing when I first met you.”

Read Physical Paradox on AO3

Gokudō Masterlist

Status: On Hold (I will finish this eventually, though)

Gokudō (極道): the extreme path. A term used to refer to members of a Yakuza syndicate.

-

“Now, why is a pretty girl like you in an ugly place like this?” “Some might say the contrast is tragically poetic,” she replied easily. “Yeah, well,” he drawled, a smirk pulling at his lips as he stepped up to stand beside her. “Others would say it’s tragically idiotic. What’s your name, pretty girl?” “Shouldn’t you introduce yourself first?” she asked, her pulse jumping at his quiet chuckle. “You already know who I am.”

-

She never asked to be part of this world. A world filled with greed and violence and revenge. She never asked to be part of the world where life was as meaningless as dust. The world stained red by the blood that pooled beneath her mother’s body after she was forced to watch her die. She never asked to be part of the world driven by hatred and bloodlust, but she never asked to leave, either.

Read Gokudō on AO3

One-Shots

Before I Love You - (angsty Gojo/Rinko AU, hopeful ending) - Part 2: Broken Lens | Author's Discussion

Fight Me? - (Nurse!Gojo shoots his shot with a grumpy patient)

Blurbs

For Your Health - (College!Gojo just wants to help his girlfriend stay healthy)

Untitled Unfinished Angst (very angsty Goinko bc Kiko is not ok)

Random Asks and Kiko's Rants

Ask: Advice for AO3 writers and when you're in a creativity rut

Ask: How Do I plan the plot for stories?

Rant: The issue with meaningless angst

Kiko's Original Work

Sample: Summary and blurbs

Sample: Blurbs 2

Meet some characters

Another Life - Short Story

[sapphickittykatherine]

you ever think that maybe lancelot deliberately engineered situations through his choices? situations where he couldn't have what he wanted and situations where he could be angsty or heroic, even if the heroism lies in death?

like surely he must have known that becoming a knight through identity fraud wouldn't last. it would absolutely come back to bite him in the ass at some point or another. and yeah maybe he was just desperate to achieve his dream and saw no other option, and maybe he only agreed to it so quickly because the episodes are 40 minutes long, but maybe he agreed to it because he knew it wouldn't last. because he didn't think he deserved to be a knight, not really. he earned the respect of the crown prince and greatest knight of the kingdom he so admired, to the extent that said prince argued with the king for his sake, and he yielded. he gave up what he so desperately wanted just like that. because he's noble and he doesn't want to cause conflict, sure, but listen to what he says: "I must start again, far from here. Then maybe one day fate shall grant me another chance to prove myself a worthy knight of Camelot. ... I must prove it to myself." he never thought he was worthy. his actions only consolidated this to him. he set himself on a self-destructive path and when it sort of worked out he sent himself back to square one.

not to mention that he went on what was, as far as he knew, a suicide charge against the griffin. maybe he wanted that. he wanted an honourable death. and when he didn't die, he found a way to ruin his own life anyway lmao

bear in mind that this guy was a commoner no doubt with practical skills. when he left camelot, he could have gotten a job on a farm and honed his knightly skills on the side or something, but he became a cage fighter???? in DEATHMATCHES????? fighting to the death on the regular only ever ends one way. it's like he wanted to die. he wanted to simulate death through combat, like an honourable knight he so admired, or to disgrace himself by dying in a dirty cage surrounded by lowlifes who saw him as nothing more than entertainment. maybe both.

this guy had gwen. she was smitten, if not in love with him, and he left. he took one look at the possibility that another man, whom he admired, could love her, and he yielded. he stomped on his own chance of happiness to go wallow somewhere. and even if he thought it was for the best, he must have known that gwen would be crushed. she might get over it eventually, but her heart would be broken. maybe he wanted that. not to hurt her, but maybe he thought it was necessary to get her to resent him. maybe he thought he shouldn't be loved by anyone, and by hurting gwen he would stomp out whatever love she had for him, and maybe even replace it with the vitriol he felt he deserved. which, in turn, would only consolidate his self-hatred.

obviously, lancelot makes the ultimate sacrifice in the end. and people treat it as honourable, but there's escapism in death. through death, he can be a tragic figure. he doesn't have to face the world. he can exist in memory as the most favourable version of himself.

maybe he hated himself. maybe he saw tragedy and abstinence from happiness and one's own wants as heroic or even inherent to heroic figures. maybe his idea of heroism was inextricably tied to tragedy, or he felt he'd best fit the role of a tragic hero. i imagine him growing up on tales of great noble warriors putting their needs aside and dying honourably in combat, ascending to an immortal, god-like status by putting their own humanity aside, and wanting. even if that's inherently contradictory. a little selfish bubble of desire that he kept locked deep inside, the one thing he allowed himself, while convincing himself that giving everything else up to that end was selfless. that if no one knew that he wanted it, or if he denied it to himself, it wouldn't matter.

i just wish he was in the show more. generally, but also so we could see more of this. characters like him are so much fun to prod and put in situations, so it's a terrible shame.

[arvandus]

‼️JJK SEASON 2 SPOILERS WARNING ‼️

So normally I view shipping as kind of a fun silly thing to do when part of a fandom. Like yeah it’s be cute if these two characters ended up together but obviously that relationship isn’t the focus of the story and the creator focuses on the progression of the plot and conflict with the protagonist and antagonist, etc. So I’ve never really had an otp before, just a handful of ships that I’m like “yeah that makes sense and it’d be cute and stuff but I wouldn’t harass other fans and content creators about it”.

But…

SatoSugu is on a whole different level. For the first time you can’t convince me that Satoru and Suguru weren’t romantically involved with one another… I mean, the two are literally soulmates. Yin and Yang. One cannot exist without the other. Darkness in the light and light in the darkness. The betta fish in the outro for season two representing their tragic fate is perfect. Satoru follows the path of the black, sickly betta fish (representing Suguru and his struggle with depression) with concern, while Suguru barely acknowledges the white, healthy betta fish (representing Satoru and his constant upward progress). Male betta fish cannot be kept in the same tank because they are bred to be fighters (both of their powerful family lineage and high expectations placed upon them) and eventually one will kill the other (and we know how that went).

Fate of the Stars by Tally Hall plays in my head whenever I think of them. I feel it’s fitting and kinda sounds like an auditory version of Gojo’s Infinity, but also Geto’s descent into madness. Anyway I felt I needed to ramble bc I can’t explain this to anyone irl without going insane bc I love them so much. Like I got a really nice gojo figurine and there’s a matching Geto one coming out next year and I gotta get it obviously so they can be together on my shelf all happy.

(*´꒳`*)

Oh boy anon, I am so with you. I don't think their relationship will ever be given an explicitly canon romantic label (they never are sadly), but this is honestly the closest we'll get to it. Regardless, we all know that the history is there, the dichotomy, the light vs. dark and yin vs. yang. It's a story about tragedy, about love lost (whether romantic or not, although bruh... *gestures wildly*).

It's all the little details that went into their relationship to each other that really stand out for me. Like in the latest episode when Getou requests something sweet because he knows that Gojo will have some of whatever he gets. Like, not only does that tell us that they share food regularly (or more like gojo takes it lol), but that Getou is constantly considering Gojo's desires when it comes to his own decision making. He knows him better than anyone, and vice versa. It's what makes Getou's downfall so hard to take. Getou always requires purpose to everything, he's all about rules. He's incredibly disciplined. So to have someone who seems so incredibly rock solid turn around and make the decisions he made... It must have gutted Gojo. Because Gojo can understand it even though he doesn't want to, and it holds a mirror up to his own darkness, his own potential for violence. And with his ability, that would be catastrophic. So now Gojo is forced to step into Getou's shoes against Getou who used to be his rock. ASDF;ALSJFA I could go on forever about it.

For me, I find angsty pleasure in the tragedy of perhaps they weren't official; perhaps they never reached a point where they could explicitly express their feelings for each other before everything went south. But they were both aware of it, and its that energy that follows them everywhere until Getou's end, and it continues to follow Gojo even now. It's about regret, and loss, and loving even though we shouldn't anymore, because we can't erase their memory. It's about mourning what could-have-been, it's about hope and how it leads us astray, and it's about repercussions and consequences. It's all very human, tragic, and beautiful.

[ohthatstragic]

Going Down - p.m

a/n: this is cringe and long as fuckkkkk so beware, i just wrote this cos i was feeling ANGSTY AF. yes it's another pining fic ok, leave me alone. i don't need your judgy eyes :( 😭💞

like i said this is cringe so beware, it's not my best work, allow it fam 🤚

also pls don’t repost or translate any of my work.. i don’t give you permission to do that.

pairings: maverick x reader, platonic!bob x female!reader, platonic!hangmanx female!reader, platonic!phoenix x female!reader

warnings: alcohol, swearing, plane crash, panic attack, age gap if you want it - i left the ages up for you to decide 😏 i love a bit of dilf mav though

wc: 6,633........... yes i know

summary: Your jet is going down, you can't control it, Maverick gets flashbacks to that tragic moment with Goose and he can't handle it. He doesn't leave your side in the infirmary, and he even brings you gifts. You're determined to find out what this all means.

the songs i listened to whilst writing this: black out days - phantogram, i wish i loved you in the 90s - tate mcray, summertime sadness - lana del rey

"Talk to me, Bob." Phoenix said through the comms. You were flying in front of Bob and Phoenix, keeping your hard gaze set on the barren, golden environment in front of you. Sand surrounded you all, with no sign of a soft landing if things went wrong. You swallowed thickly, feeling the beads of sweat drip down your temples.

"We are twelve seconds behind target, we gotta move! We gotta move!" Bob replied swiftly with worry evident in his hoarse voice. Phoenix muttered under her breath as the three of you continued on flying forwards.

"Copy, try to stay with me." You said, trying to feign a hint of confidence to keep morale up. You couldn't let Bob and Phoenix down this time, and you had to prove to Maverick that you had the balls to do this mission. You had to.

"Huh?" Bob suddenly said, catching your attention. You looked to your mirror to glance at Phoenix's plane and furrowed your brows in confusion. "Who's that?" He continued. At the sound of his question, you instantly froze, throwing glances over your shoulders to see if you could catch a glimpse of the bogey in question.

"Where are they, Bob?" You asked.

"Blue team, you've been spotted." Maverick suddenly said through the radio. The sound and familiarity of his voice calmed me a little and you felt your body relax slightly, but not as much as you wanted to, knowing how volatile the older pilot can be.

"Well, hello, Maverick." You sighed through the radio, a slight smirk slipping onto your masked lips.

"You don't sound very happy to hear me, Y/C/S." He said back, hiding a smirk. It was always obvious when Mav was smirking, there was a certain twang of cockiness in his voice that stood out like a sore thumb. You scoffed at his reply.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Phoenix asked with a hint of venom in her voice. You inhaled slowly, sensing the situation becoming tense. This should be interesting.

"I'm a bandit on course to intercept." Maverick replied simply. "Blue team what're you gonna do?" He asked quickly. Your mind began to race with solutions, but none of them seemed to fit the current perspective.

"He's twenty miles left, ten o'clock, seven hundred knots closure." Bob announced from the back seat of Phoenix's jet. You narrowed your Y/E/C eyes, keeping them trained on the course ahead.

With a brief cough you cleared your throat. "Your call, Phoenix, what do you want to do?" You asked, glancing to the right. You hoped she would say continue. It seemed like the logical thing to do right now.

Like the female pilot read your mind, she said, "Continue. We're close." With a quick nod, you averted your gaze back to the dusty path in front of you. "Stay on target."

"He's way around to the north." Bob said, his hands scraping against the cockpit window in a feeble attempt to try to get a better view of your instructor. Maverick was gaining on you both, and fast. In your mind you were thankful that he was on your side, and not the enemies. None of you would stand a chance against him.

You exhaled curtly, feeling your heart begin to race as you all neared the intense climb. The amount dread that was currently filling your body couldn't have been healthy. You feared this part the most. "Roger. Ready for pop-up." You said to Phoenix.

"Be ready on that laser, Bob." Phoenix warned her RIO. The sound of the wind being sliced by your jet's wings began to rattle in your ears. 

"Copy, I'm on it." Bob replied, shuffling in his seat, his fingers swiftly finding the knob to adjust the laser.

"Blue team, bandit is still closing." Maverick warned you with a sharp inhale.

"Popping now!" You proclaimed, shaky hands gripping the centre stick and pulling back with all of the strength in your body. Your chest set on fire as the weight of gravity began to sink down onto your trembling body, feeling like your head was about to snap off. As the three of you reached the target height, you inverted the jet with a twist of the stick and pulled back again, diving fast to replicate the steep decline down the mountain side, toward the practice target.

Phoenix let out a quick breath of air and grunted, regaining control of her lungs. "Talk to me Bob, where's Maverick?" You asked hurriedly, throwing your head around and directing your eyes around the surrounding area, trying to pinpoint exactly where Maverick was.

"He's five miles out, he's coming fast!" Bob responded as he desperately tried to breathe. The pair of your planes evened out and you headed towards the dummy target - an old container with perfect circles carved out around it, reminding you of the world famous crop circles.

"Target's in sight!" Phoenix stated.

"Where's my laser Bob?!" You shouted, throwing a look over your right shoulder.

"Deadeye! Deadeye! It's no good!" Bob replied, his brows upturning in a show of defeat. His hoarse voice held a tone of frustration as he breathed heavily, his throat burning. "Sorry, I can't get a lock!" Bob said again. You shut your eyes in defeat. Looks like you're dropping blind.

With a sharp inhale, you narrowed your eyes on the white container sat in front of you. "We're out of time, I'm dropping blind!" As you lined up the crosshair as close as you could on the target, your thumb pressed the red button upon the stick; a soft click emitting from it. Two missiles deployed from the bottom of your F-18 and they hit slightly to the right of the centre circle. "Shit, missed!" You growled in frustration. Immediately, your fisted hands went to grab a hold of the stick again and pulled it back, setting the jet to fly upwards. Your body sunk into the leather seat and it felt like your chest was on fire again from how hard you were fighting to breathe. Gravity pushed down on your lungs like a huge boulder. You could feel the whoosh of blood leaving your brain and travelling to your legs; your heart beat going ten to the dozen. A suffocated grunt emerged from your mouth as alarms suddenly started to sound from the inside. A jarring crunch rattled through the body of the jet as a bright red light flashed, showing 'Engine Failure'. "Shit!" You gasped, eyes going wide in panic. They darted across the front panel of the jet, the red glare of the glowing buttons reflecting on your visor. "Engine failure, engine failure," You repeated as your twitching fingers flew to flick a few select switches in an attempt to regain control. "Attempting to restart engines."

Your stomach hit your throat as the plane began to fall downwards, stuck in an uncontrollable spin. One hand gripped the stick in front and pulled back in an attempt to pull up, however, it didn't help. With the insane momentum and speed at which you were falling, it made your head begin to spin; your vision soon becoming victim to it as well. "Come on, baby, come on!" You screamed, petrified, the cold air beginning to scrape against your throat as you desperately fought to breathe.

"Y/C/S, eject, eject!" You heard Maverick shout in your ear through comms. Your mind went foggy as you stared at the oncoming twirling earth below you. "You're in a tailspin at a low altitude, it's unrecoverable! Eject!" He shouted again. Your breathing was ragged and wretched as you threw your hands on the handle beneath your pilot seat and tugged at it.

"It's not working, Mav!" You screamed through the radio. Your instantly eyes darted to the altitude needle, which was spinning round and round as you descended to the ground. The numbers were falling impossibly fast now, nearing three and a half thousand feet now. You were losing air, and fast.

"Keep trying! Pull it as hard as you can, you've got this!" Maverick desperately shouted, watching helplessly from afar. His mind began to scramble as waves of anxiety and panic flooded his body. Goose. "C'mon, Y/C/S!" He screamed and tried to blink away the flashbacks that began to trickle into his head, tears pricking his eyes. He couldn't lose someone else this way. And especially not you.

"Goose, I'm losing control, I'm losing control, I can't control it!" Maverick said quickly, his hands gripping onto the centre stick for dear life. "It won't recover, shit!" The environment surrounding the two was spinning, disorientating the two young pilots. From the momentum of the spin, Maverick was shoved against the wall of the cockpit, his hands pressed up against the window like a child at a candy shop.

"Mav, we're out of control! This shit- this is not good!" Goose grunted, the force of the fall crushing his lungs. Maverick's mind was spinning just like his jet.

"I can't reach the ejection handle, Goose, you gotta do it," Maverick shouted from in front. "Eject, eject, eject!" Goose did so, and then the unimaginable happened...

"Altitude two thousand!" You breathed out, your throat was immensely tired from breathing so heavily. Maverick's breathing was ragged and fast as his eyes never left your falling jet, silently praying and hoping that a miracle would happen. With one last laborious sigh, you tugged at the handle again and it clicked, the cockpit flying open and shooting my body into the sky. A loud crack engulfed my head as I was shot upwards, a ragged gasped ripped from your throat at the sudden shock. Your head had flown backwards and smacked against the top of the canopy. Before a blanket of black nothingness swamped my vision, the parachute deployed, slowly lowering your limp and possibly lifeless body to the ground.

Maverick screaming your name was the last thing you heard.

****

Bright and blinding white lights pricked your eyes as you opened them gradually, blinking heavily to adjust to the dazzling LEDs. Your vision was blurry and disoriented as your red eyes rolled around the grey room, landing on a fuzzy, dark-haired figure. They were dressed in an olive green flying suit, black boots to match. Their head was lolling forwards as they leaned against the back of the battleship-grey wall. Squinting quickly, you soon recognised it to be none other than your instructor, Maverick. A soft gasp escaped your chapped lips and your once-pale cheeks turned pink at the sight of him. Looking downwards, you saw you were still in your own olive green flying suit, laying on a hospital bed, a drip connected to to the top of your hand. You swallowed back a gag, feeling queasy at the thought of a needle. You never did have a strong stomach for things like blood and guts - nobody would ever catch you watching a horror film.

You sighed. Looking to the left, you spotted your flying helmet, a long splinter running from the right side of it to the crown; a splatter of blood staining the once-white helmet. What the...? Your breathing suddenly hitched as you wracked your brain in a poor attempt to think back to what happened. Before you could brace yourself, it suddenly all came flooding back. Climbing in your jet, practicing with the squad, pulling up, the engines stalling and failing to restart, the ejection handle not working... You had been so close to death. As another shaky inhale swept cold air down your sore throat, you glanced back to Maverick who was stirring. As he raised his head, you noticed his eyes were red and puffy. You frowned. Mav's eyes met yours and he rushed to stand up, swiftly moving beside your bedside. "H-hey," He stumbled, a bright grin spreading across his features. "How are you, uh, feeling?" Maverick asked, his voice shaky.

You returned his kind smile, staring into his ocean-blue eyes. You'd never seen him like this before. "I'm okay, are you?" You questioned, glancing at his dishevelled attire. Maverick didn't answer, he only bit his bottom lip, fighting back a sob. "Mav?" You asked again - softly this time. You reached out a hand to touch his forearm as he sunk back down into the chair he was previously passed out on. 

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," He breathed out. His voice was trembling and it was breaking your heart to see someone who you loved and adored like this. "I'm so sorry." He said again.

"Mav, it's okay, I'm okay. It wasn't your fault." You soothingly mumbled, gently rubbing your thumb against his forearm. You wanted to let your hand fall onto his, but you didn't want to cross a line. "Hey, look at me," You smiled, reaching your shaky fingers out to push his chin upwards. Tears brimmed his crinkled, blue eyes and you gasped softly. "I'm alright, Mav. I promise." He nodded, inhaling sharply. Maverick quickly swiped at his eyes, trying to silence his tears.

"I know," He sighed, his chest rising and falling gently. You gave him an encouraging smile. "I-I just thought... Goose.. it was too... similar..." He stumbled over his words again, pursing his lips and as he looked away from you. "I thought we lost you." His voice broke at the end of his sentence as his teary eyes met yours again.

"Mav.." You sighed sharply. "You should know you can't get rid of me, especially not now." You joked, making Maverick chuckle. He blew out a short breath of air through his gritted teeth. "You're stuck with me." You said again with an amused smile.

"Yeah," He hummed, looking at you. His eyes suddenly lit up and he reached down slowly beside the makeshift chair he was perched upon, his hands returning with a small, stuffed teddy bear which held a blue heart, and knitted on it was 'Get well soon!'. His other hand held a bag of your favourite chocolates: Y/F/C. "The squad got these for you, as a... get well soon gift," Maverick said, smiling gently. His eyes wouldn't leave yours and your cheeks flushed at the gesture. He handed you the teddy bear and chocolates, in which you graciously accepted them with a joyful grin, placing the chocolates on the side table to the right of you, but keeping the teddy with you.

"Thank you. The teddy bear is my favourite, I think." You giggled, patting it's head.

"Um," He cleared his throat, leaning back down to where he retrieved the gifts. Maverick leaned back up, holding a small, yet beautiful bouquet of white calla lilies. You audibly gasped at the sight, a big grin spreading across your tired-looking face. "These are for you, too." Mav said, almost bashfully.

"Oh my gosh!" You exclaimed softly. "These are my favourite!" Maverick handed them to you, his fingers brushing against yours slightly. Your eyes fluttered at the touch. "Who are they from?" You asked, pressing them gently to your nose with a happy smile to inhale the mellow scent. Maverick's eyes softened as he watched you, a content smile slipping onto his lips.

"Uh, they're, err, from me." He coughed, as if trying to hide his embarrassment. You suppressed a laugh in an attempt not to embarrass the captain. You thought he'd been through enough emotional trauma for today.

"That's very sweet of you, Mav, you didn't have to do that. Thank you." You grinned, fidgety fingers playing with the pale white bow that held the stems together. Your glossy eyes watched the captain shuffle in his seat. You couldn't fight the warm feeling growing across your chest as you stared at him. The grin on your lips was there to stay.

"I think it's the least I could do." Maverick said softly, his gaze locked with yours still. You let out a small, content hum. As you were about to ask him a question, a knock rattled on the door. A quick sigh left your lips as Maverick quickly stood up, your eyes still glued to the back of him. He walked over to the door to open it, revealing Phoenix and Bob. "Hey Phoenix, Bob." Maverick said, smiling kindly. He stepped aside to let them in. "I'll relieve you guys of my presence." He meekly joked and sent you another soft smile with a wave, walking off.

"Hey, guys." You said, grinning. Phoenix and Bob wandered over toward you with worried eyes and kind smiles.

"You seem pretty chipper for someone who almost died." Phoenix laughed, leaning down to give you a gentle hug, careful not to squeeze too tight in case you were still tender. Bob switched places with Phoenix, his eyes seeming to settle as he noticed you were okay. 

"Hey, Bob." You giggled, giving him a soft hug. He blushed as he pulled away, running a hand through his bouncy blonde curls. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked, eyes twitching slightly as he remembered the sheer panic washing over his body during the incident.

"I'm okay, thanks Bob. Still in one piece, I suppose." You hummed with a smile, glancing between the pair. She held up a bag and wiggled her brows, placing it on the bed, to the side of your thigh. You frowned at her. She frowned at me back.

"What's wrong?" Phoenix asked.

"Err, didn't you already get me get well soon gifts?" You cocked a brow, looking a little confused at her gesture. She shared a confused look with Bob.

"No... why?" Bob said slowly, his eyes finding the teddy bear, chocolates and flowers that Maverick had dropped off. His brows shot up as he nudged Phoenix with his elbow and nodded at the gifts sat upon your side table. "Who are those from?" He asked, looking back to you with a suspicious smile. Your mouth fell open, putting things together.

"You.. guys..?" You frowned. Phoenix's face broke out into a grin.

"No, this is from all of us." She replied, pulling out a bottle of your favourite alcohol, a card and a pair of socks with 'Accident Prone' written all over them. You laughed out loud as you looked at the socks, your mind instantly thinking of Hangman. Son of a bitch.

"Thank you so much, guys. I really appreciate your thoughtful gifts. It's really sweet of you." You smiled cheerfully as Phoenix put the gifts back into the bag and placed it onto the floor beside your bed. The two of them smiled at you, but you could tell they were itching to know who dropped off the presents beside you. You sighed. "Maverick."

"Maverick?" Phoenix repeated, seemingly in shock. You tried to hide the blush creeping up your neck toward your cheeks. "Are you blushing, Y/N?" She squinted at you with a cheeky smile. You frowned and pulled up your flying suit, trying to hide underneath the material, despite it not being long enough so you sort of just looked a bit silly.

"No! I just think it was sweet - you know, that he got me those things." You sighed, sinking into the hard and uncomfortable bed beneath you. "He didn't have to." You said, looking at your two friends.

"But he did." Phoenix smirked, and shared an indecipherable look with Bob. You frowned at them. "The flowers are a nice touch, aren't those your favourite?" She asked, narrowing her eyes as her smirk intensified. You reached your hand up to scratch the back of your neck nervously, glancing away.

"Err, yeah," You smiled, letting your hand fall back down to your lap. You let your fingers play with a loose thread hanging from your olive-green flying suit. "But it's not like it's hard to guess, you know-" You quickly tried to reason with them, but they weren't having it.

"Wait, so that's where Mav went yesterday?" Bob asked Phoenix and turned to her. You caught wind of the last word he said. Your brows furrowed once again. The amount of times you had frowned in the past few minutes made you wonder whether your brows were gonna get stuck together.

"Wait, wait, yesterday? How long was I out?" You sat up and stared at the two pilots who turned their attention back to you.

"Like a day and a half." Bob answered, swallowing nervously. You groaned, falling back into the bed with a soft thud. "We all came to visit you as much as we could, but Maverick has been here the most. He didn't leave your side after what happened, apart from when we had to train. But as soon as that was over, he was immediately back here." He explained. Phoenix only stared at you with a small, reassuring smile. You narrowed your tired eyes at her and she grinned.

"Sounds like Mav's got a soft spot for a certain pilot." Phoenix sing-songed, laughing and your brows shot up at her words.

"I thought he was dating or seeing Penny? You know.. from The Hard Deck?" You asked out of curiosity. But in reality, you were trying to work out whether his intentions were innocent, or if they meant a little more. Bob shook his head at you and your heart started to beat a little faster.

"No, they're just very good friends." Phoenix said, folding her arms. "Why, ya interested?" She snickered at you and in reply you rolled your eyes at her.

"No!" You answered quickly - almost too quickly which caught Phoenix's attention. "No, I just.. I was just curious." You tried to add, but it was too late. She already knew. You sighed at the realisation. "Can you.. just keep this between us, guys?" You mumbled, fiddling with the thin, white blanket draped over your clothed thighs.

"Of course, Y/C/S." Bob nodded, smiling kindly at you.

"You got it, Y/N." Phoenix smiled too. "Well, we're gonna leave you be now. I'm so glad you're okay. It looked nasty. We were all worried about you." She said and leaned down to hug you, pressing a soft kiss to your bandaged forehead. Bob followed her and gave you a gentle hug, worried that he'd hurt you.

"See you later, Y/C/S. Get well soon." Bob said as he walked out with Phoenix, giving a cheerful wave to you as he closed the door. You let out a long, heavy sigh as you leaned back into your uncomfortable bed, closing your eyes. You let yourself fall into a much needed, deep, deep sleep.

****

It had been several days since the incident, and you were discharged from the infirmary. You had been back up in the air since it happened - Maverick made you go back up. If you didn't, you didn't think you would have ever. Speaking of Maverick, the two of you hadn't spoken about what happened in the infirmary a few days ago now. You were frustrated, you wanted to know why he lied to you, why didn't he just tell you that he got those gifts for you? Why did he have to say it was from the squad?

You were currently sunbathing on a beach chair outside The Hard Deck, with the sun beaming down on your sun-lotioned skin. With a soft grunt, you leant up, and pulled down your sunglasses with a single finger, watching the squad play defensive and offensive football with each other. Loud laughter and shouts echoed from them all as they bumped and knocked into one another. You groaned and stood up, sulky because of the fact that you weren't allowed to play due to your recent injury. "You alright, Y/N/N?" You heard Penny call from behind you. You threw her a smile.

"Yeah, I'm just getting antsy," You replied with a frustrated sigh. "Gonna go for a swim." You said, slipping off your flip flops.

Penny smiled at you. The bar owner had a soft spot for you, and she always made sure you were okay. Even the slightest change in your aura made her suspicious. "Have fun out there!" She exclaimed, turning back to her book, but still keeping an eye on you. Underneath the baggy, lilac beach dress you were currently wearing, you wore a white bikini. Just as your fingers were about to undo the knot, a sinking feeling of insecurity froze your body in place, refusing to remove your beach cover up.

"Hey, Pen?" You called over to Penny, turning around to look at the brunette. "Mind if I grab a shot? I'll leave some notes behind the bar." She let out a soft laugh and nodded, gesturing to go ahead with her hand.

"Of course, and don't worry about the money, it's on the house." Penny smiled. You thanked her and rushed inside behind the bar, pouring yourself a large shot of the strongest alcohol there was. You knocked it back, exhaling sharply as the alcohol burned down your throat.

"Woo!" You quietly said, grinning to yourself like a mental asylum patient from Batman. "That's better, gosh." Before heading back out, you quickly adjusted your bikini top to make sure your breasts were definitely held in place, and you wouldn't suffer a dreaded nip-slip. Making your way to the exit, you walked through the double white wooden doors, the warm, salty sea air hitting your face like a soft wave. You began to walk down the beach, passing Penny, giving her a small smile. She let out a wolf whistle as she watched you walk by, letting out a short giggle. Your cheeks reddened at the noise and you removed the beach dress from your body, throwing it on the beach chair. With a quick sigh, you composed yourself and made your way to the sea, keeping your eyes trained on the horizon ahead. "Okay, you got this." You mumbled to yourself, placing my black aviators on your nose. You prayed to the heavens above that you didn't trip and fall over - because God knows if anything was to happen, it'd be that.

As you passed the squad playing football, a few wolf whistles suddenly arose from your right. You looked over to see Hangman and Coyote, the blonde pilot winking as his eyes ran up and down your figure. "There she is!" He shouted with a cheeky grin. You threw him the middle finger, and shook your head, walking a little faster. "Watch yourself, Klutz!" He warned jokingly and it made you grin, your eyes looking to the left of them, spotting Rooster and Maverick. Surprisingly - or not - they were staring too. You swallowed, the familiar and unwelcome feeling of insecurity returning to you. The warm sea finally greeted your toes as you treaded into it, your fingers rushing to adjust your bikini bottoms as you still felt eyes on you.

As you kept walking further into the blue abyss, you reached a deeper area and felt comfortable enough to relax, jumping up from the sea bed and letting yourself float atop the sea. The sweet relief that washed over you made you moan, it felt like a weight had been lifted from you.

"Boy, am I glad I came over." Hangman's smug voice suddenly disturbed you from your short-lived zen paradise and you groaned out loud in irritation at the pilot. As you sat up, you looked at him, eyes studying his grinning face. His blonde hair was sweaty and dishevelled, his bare chest gleaming in the sunlight from the mix of sun cream and sweat upon it. You sat up, fingers pushing back your black aviators as you felt them sliding down the bridge of your nose.

"What do you want, Bagman?" You groaned again, folding your arms against your chest as you noticed his eyes drop to your dripping wet bikini top. "If you've come to perv on me, bud, you've chosen the wrong person." You warned him and jumped in the opposite direction of Hangman to escape, although his hand caught your waist and pulled you back to him. "Jake." You sighed, dragging out his name to express your annoyance.

"I love the way you say my name, babe," He joked, placing a hand over his heart and feigning a swoon. "No, I just wanted to see how ya were feeling. I ain't seen ya for a while." Hangman said, his hand letting go of your waist as you remained where he placed you. You frowned, absolutely gobsmacked at his answer.

"Wait, what? You, aka fuckin' Hangman, care about how I feel? Somebody else other than yourself?!" You laughed out loud, splashing him playfully. He laughed with you and rolled his eyes at you, waiting for you to continue. "Well, if you really wanna know, I'm fine." You said with an unbothered shrug. Suddenly, alarm bells rang in your head. "Err, did you talk to Phoenix or Bob recently?" You narrowed your eyes at him. Hangman only smirked at you and you felt your heart drop as your anxiety sky-rocketed. "Oh, fuck my life." You groaned even louder than before, letting your head loll back in the seawater.

"To be honest, I overheard them, they didn't say anythin' to me," Hangman said with a shrug. "Your secret is safe with me, my fair lady." He smirked, bowing dramatically. You rolled your eyes at his pathetic attempt to make you laugh.

"I wish it wasn't, god damn it." You said, looking over to the squad who were still playing football. You caught Maverick's eyes and looked away quickly, averting your sheepish gaze to Jake who was currently undressing you with his mind, his blue eyes on your breasts. "Stop it, dickhead." You squinted your eyes at him and he just smirked, the corner of his mouth perking up as he looked into your eyes instead. There was a moment of silence as Jake glanced to the beach at the boys and Phoenix, the bright sun glinting off the golden metal rims of his aviators.

"Wanna make him jealous?" Hangman suddenly asked, nodding to the group on the beach with the same smirk.

"Not particularly." You replied, frowning.

"Ain't he been ignoring you or somethin', sweetheart?" He asked with a soft voice, pouting his lips at you. You fought back the urge to punch Hangman in his perfect face.

"No," You said, squinting at him. "We.. just haven't crossed paths." You mumbled and glanced to the beach again. Sighing, you were clearly frustrated. Why didn't Maverick just talk to you? Why was it so damn difficult for him? Hangman patiently waited for your reply. "Okay, fine, he's been ignoring me since he gave me those gifts. So what?" You shrugged and tried to ignore the sad, plummeting feeling growing in your chest. It did hurt how Mav acted like nothing happened when you returned to training, you couldn't deny that. It sort of made you rethink the whole thing.

"So..." Hangman dragged out, glancing down as he scratched at his forearm for a quick moment. "Maybe you should try somethin' different." He suggested with a shrug. You looked at the blonde with a confused expression. He rolled his eyes. "Just trust me." He said, before taking you into his arms. You had no time to protest against his advances; a loud gasp escaped you as his hands found the bottom of your thighs, lifting you up to his chest.

"Hangman!" You squealed as he spun you around, a hand flying to his neck to steady yourself. Hangman laughed, continuing to spin you around. "Put me down!" You giggled softly, looking down at him. He was grinning as he gazed up at you, the blue water twirled around his lower half, salty droplets splashing against his shiny, toned torso. Suddenly, the spinning got too much and your breathing hitched - your mind was brought back to the day you lost control of your jet. "Jake," You breathed out his real name, hoping he'd listen this time, fingernails digging into his shoulders. "Stop!" You nervously laughed, trying to push yourself away from him. "Jake, please!" You cried out loud this time, tears starting to prick your eyes. You felt dizzy, nauseous, and you desperately needed to get to land, and fast. He stopped instantly, and his face softened as he watched you closely.

"Hey, it's alright," Hangman said, unsure of what was happening. As he gently let go of you, you fell, splashing in the water as your vision began to spin uncontrollably, just like the accident. "Hey, Y/N, slow down there!" He called out as you desperately tried to swim back to shore, your chest beginning to burn from the tired breaths you tried to inhale. Jake's arms suddenly scooped me up and I broke down, sobbing. "It's alright, Y/C/S. You're okay." He said softly, running out of the sea with you, placing his hands upon your shoulders in a poor attempt to comfort you. "Mav! Phoenix!" You heard Hangman yell from beside you, feeling the grains of sand graze against your backside. Maverick's head instantly perked up at the sound of his name, and he sprinted over to Hangman and you, kneeling down beside your hyperventilating body. Phoenix was here just as quick, kneeling down on the opposite side of you.

"Hey, Y/C/S," Maverick said quietly, removing his aviators as you desperately tried to catch your breath. You looked at him, Y/C/E eyes locking with his own baby blue ones. Tears began to fall down your cheeks. His eyes softened as he looked at you. It felt like a knife had been thrown into his heart as he watched you. He desperately wanted to take you into his arms, whisper sweet-nothings to you and tell you that you'd be alright. But he couldn't do that, you weren't his. And he didn't think you could ever be. "You're alright, sweetheart, deep breaths." Maverick said gently, making you heart race at the sound of the pet name - it didn't really help to calm you down. "Just focus on me, my voice and the smell of the sea," He smiled weakly at you, his large hands coming to cup your cheeks. Your hands clenched into fists as you wrapped them behind your thighs.

Your breaths were trembling and unsteady as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to single-handedly focus on what Maverick had said. "That's it." He said again, his soft eyes watching your chest slow down. Soon enough, you managed to steady your breathing and your racing heart.

"Jesus," You sighed quietly and let your gaze fall to the ground, avoiding the captain's gaze. "I don't know what happened." You mumbled, gathering up some courage to look at Maverick who only looked concerned. Hangman and Phoenix had given you two some space as you spotted them stood together, observing you with worried looks spread across their faces. You looked back to Maverick. "When Hangman was spinning me, it just made me think of.." You squeezed your eyes shut at the thought and Maverick's eyes fell to the ground, his hand still sat upon your head, slowly sliding to the side of your neck.

"I know," He said quietly, the pad of his thumb caressing your jaw. "Come on, let's get you home, Y/N." Maverick sighed, holding out a hand for you to take. You reluctantly accepted it, a pang of pain shooting through your chest at the lack of emotion he was showing towards you. What did you do?

Maverick lead you back to the beach chair, his hands picking up all of your belongings swiftly. "Did you have anything else?" He asked quietly, not bothering to look at you. You felt another wave of tears about to fall, but you bit your lip to hold them back. You didn't want to cry in front of him again, not today. Not ever.

"No." You answered dryly, walking past Maverick to slip on your flip-flops. His brows knitted together for a split second as your shoulder brushed past his in a hostile manner. What did he do for you to do that? "I got a lift here with Phoenix, so I'll grab an Uber back home." You said, shrugging. His brows furrowed as if you had just proposed to assassinate the president.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm giving you a ride home, Y/N." Maverick stated, his tone stern. "C'mon." He said, placing a hand on the small of your back to lead you to his bike. You hated the way that his hand set your body on fire, the way it sent a pleasurable shiver running down your spine. Your eyes began to well up with tears again. "You alright?" He glanced at you, noticing how your pace had slowed down. The two of you were a few feet from his Kawasaki.

"What is your problem?" You seethed, moving away from him, clutching your white beach dress close to your body. He looked shocked at your sudden outburst, his eyes widening in shock. "You-you acted so... different with me in the infirmary. You even bought me chocolates, flowers! Even a teddy bear, Mav!" You exclaimed, hot tears spilling down your face at this point. You stared at Maverick, with quivering lips, who looked hurt. A blanket of silence fell on the two of you. Maverick's eyes darted to the ground as a short sigh slipped from his lips, the guilt finally appearing on his face. His brows fell as he looked back to you. "Phoenix told me that they weren't from the squad," You said quietly, sniffling. "Why did you buy me flowers, Mav? How did you know they were my favourite?" He dropped his eyes again, looking down at the ground, sucking in his bottom lip. Just as Maverick was about to answer you, another wave of upset washed over you. "Then you just ignore me afterwards? Like nothing happened? Like we didn't feel something in that room, Maverick." You cried and he walked towards you, his hand slowly coming to cup your cheek in a tender way.

"I never meant to hurt you, Y/C/S." Maverick said quietly, his eyes meeting yours. You glanced away from a moment, the feeling too strong for you to handle. "I felt something with you in that room, and it scared me," He mumbled, brushing the pad of his thumb against your tear-stained cheek. "I haven't felt that way for a long time. I thought I lost you that day, and I couldn't go through something like that again, Y/N. I can't. It-it's too much, I can just about handle looking at Rooster every day without being reminded of his dad." Maverick sighed, his shoulders falling. "Every day it's like I torture myself. I think back to that exact moment, thinkin' about how he would've lived if I just did this, or I just did that. The guilt.. it never leaves me, Y/N." He said quietly, tears welling in his eyes now. Of course, Goose. Rooster's dad.

"Mav, come here." You whispered and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "It's alright. It wasn't your fault," You mumbled into his ear and his arms snaked around your waist, holding you tightly as if you would disappear into thin air. "It wasn't your fault." You whispered with a hushed sigh and placed a gentle hand on his cheek, wiping away a stray tear that fell from his eye. He smiled weakly at you, and you could hear your heart break at the sight of him so broken like this. "It's okay, honey." You sniffled, trying not to cry anymore. Your eyes never left each others, and you couldn't suppress the butterflies tingling in your stomach, the pleasant feeling flourishing across your chest. Without thinking, you whispered. "I think I love you, Pete."

Maverick chuckled gently as his heart skipped a beat, a soft blow of air shooting from his nose. "I think I love you as well, Y/N." He said quietly, leaning down to press a sweet and soft kiss to your lips. You leaned into his touch, your body setting on fire as he kissed you, your fingers playing with the short, rough hairs at the back of his neck. Maverick's calloused hands settled on your bare-skinned waist, his fingers gently squeezing your soft flesh. "You've no idea how long I've waited to do that." He laughed quietly and you joined him, nodding.

"Me too."

my masterlist

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if u read all this i love you and i'm proud of you. you are now part of the cringe club, welcome x

[pikapeppa]

After DA4 is released - and as the rumors say, the Inquisitor will appear again, will you write a sequel to Lovers In a Dangerous Time?

Ahh thank you so much for asking this great question! The short answer is: maybe?😂

The longer answer is below the cut because it's a little rambly!

Okay! I haven't been writing Dragon Age fic recently, and the reason is that I'm basically waiting for new material to drop so I can be re-inspired. I can't waiiiit to be handed new material to play with, and I'm 100% sure I'll get back to DA once we have anything fresh to work with (including that Netflix series in December, which I'm cautiously hopeful about).

I suspect that once DA4 drops, I will be drowned by the number of things I'll want to write, with a sequel to Lovers In A Dangerous Time (Fenris the Inquisitor, Fenris/f!Hawke) being one of them. But I'll now throw down a list of the possible ideas/ships I would want to get back into once DA4 drops:

A sequel to Lovers In A Dangerous Time, obviously. I purposely left the end of that fic with a few loose ends to play with (Briala being in Kirkwall, for example) in the hopes that I might pick up Fenris and Rynne again in the DA4 era. My main qualm about writing a sequel to this fic is that FenRynne have a son now. From my understanding of timeline, I think DA4 will take place 7 years after DAI or something like that, and in all blunt honesty, I'm not really interested in writing a child character. Then again, I never thought I would give any of my couples a kid in the first place, and here we are! 😂

A sequel to Fall Into The Tide, my Sten/f!Mahariel fic. I actually REALLY want to write this one. Based on the material from Tevinter Nights, I strongly suspect/hope that the qunari will play a big role in DA4. I wrote a whole post about how I'm hoping Sten (i.e. the Arishok) will return, and I am honestly frothing to put him and Yara Mahariel together again -- maybe with a happier ending depending on what happens in the game...?

Solavellan SOMETHING. JESUS CHRIST, I WILL NEED TO WRITE SOLAVELLAN SOMETHING. In all likelihood, I'll use @elbenherzart 's Nare Lavellan since I've fallen in love with her and kind of stopped being interested in my own Solasmanced Lavellan.

Felassan and Tamaris Lavellan. I refuse to believe that Felassan is fully 100% dead unless it's bashed over my head repeatedly in DA4. Even then, I might genuinely yeet this canon because I'm too in love with the cheeky boy to let him go. Tamaris might actually be the "canon Inquisitor" that I carry forward into the DA4 era since she used to be with Solas, but now she's with Felassan, and Felassan and Solas were bros once upon a time, and THERE IS SO POTENTIAL DRAMA FDKJGSHLJKG. It's fine I'm fine.

Abelas and Athera Lavellan. These poor babies also had a tragic ending when Abelas left her to follow Solas's path, and I would loooove to bring them back together in some horrible angsty way.

If I was really insane and ready to dive down a fic rabbit hole, I would combine these ships together -- e.g. Felassan and Tamaris as my DAI couple, Sten and Yara as my DAO couple, and Fenris and Rynne as my DA2 era couple (I'll put them into a more canon-DAI role where they both went to Skyhold together because FUCK THEM being separated, I refuse). BUT WE'LL SEE.

Anyway, this is just a look inside my frothing mind once something drops for us parched and starving DA fans. 😂

-- love from your friendly neighbourhood Pika! xoxo

[hopeswriting]

@chierry re: fucked up little abominations arco, because it got long, and also i want to put it in the main tags because i’m a little proud of it lol.

so the timeframe thing first of all right? i think by the time the manga starts they should be arco for at least 100 years like you said, and then some as a treat<3.

then i thought about reworking the technicalities of the curse itself to make it more than just them being turned into babies. so basically the trinisette safeguards the world and sustains it, the brunt of it if not all of it being on the pacifiers right? so i thought what if not only the arco’s job was to protect the pacifiers, but also sustain them so they can sustain the world?

i know this is already widely fanon by making the pacifiers feed on their flames, which i love and agree on, but let me add a little twist on that.

what if instead of dying only once when they don’t have flames anymore, it happens multiple times during their time as arco?

i mean sustaining the whole world would need a lot of energy, especially when they’re only seven of them, strongest in the world as they may be. so what if every decade or so (or every seven years, hehe, seven years, get it? *wink wink*), the pacifiers have taken too much of their flames and they die, but THEN, because of the curse, they’re brought back to life to go through another cycle of being arco?

the way i’m thinking it could work is that when they die the pacifiers use some of their flames, and/or draw from all the energy arco before them gave the trinisette so to bring them back to life for another round as arco. and then another round. and then another one, until eventually they can’t be brought back to life anymore.

BUT they don’t just die. you know how reincarnation is pretty much canon? when they’re dead, either they go through viper’s idea of reincarnation, who define it as “humans repeating the same life many times in infinite cycles”, OR through mukuro’s type of reincarnation, i.e the six path of reincarnation back to the realm of humans.

they’d remember it all of course, so in both case they’d have the mental fuckery and toll of remembering multiple lifetimes. but in viper’s case it’d be about living normal lives only to wake up being an arco again, and in mukuro’s case, well, just look at mukuro lol, it’d be about remembering each torturous/hellish path they went through. tho mukuro does say the human realm is the worst, so even in viper’s case of reincaranation there’s plenty of room to make even those lifetimes tragic and angsty.

AND they don’t just come back to life without paying the price for it of course. it obviously takes a mental toll on them even without the reincarnation stuff, but also a physical one, i.e the more they’re brought back, the more it becomes physically visible they’ve been brought back from the dead. basically, their bodies start to rot, and that’s why the vindice look like that, and eventually that’s how they’ll end up looking like when they can’t go through another round of arco anymore, bandages and all.

except skull, who’s immortal to begin with, so he always has a physical full recovery. but he still feels pain as if his body was rotting too, moves and uses it as if it was, in a “feeling phantom limb pain” way. but then i made an exception for him, and it got me thinking about how it could be distinct experiences for each of the arco.

reborn is always the one who dies last, because of his flames keeping him alive just at the brink of him not having enough flames to keep him alive, let alone to feed the pacifier.

colonnello and lal are the slowest to die, instinctively wanting to lessen the pain with their flames, but it just makes them acutely aware of every second of agony as the pacifier feeds on the last of their flames.

fon comes back to life in the most painful way, his storm flames instinctively fighting against the unnatural process and the foreign flames inside him bringing him back to life.

viper stays dead the longest, stuck in the reincarnation process because it messes with their perception and mist flames, and they have a hard time getting their conscience back to their body.

verde is the one who remembers his many lives the more accurately, because his flames “hardens” his consciousness so to speak, so he’s more aware of the whole reincarnation stuff and remembers more of it.

and i read in a fic once they’re turned into babies so their body can’t hold all of their flames inside, so it’s easier for the pacifiers to feed on them. also the arco can’t hold onto them even if they wanted to (and definitely try to anyway) because their surplus of flames have to go somewhere and they need them to.

i unfortunately don’t remember which fic it was, but credit to the author because ever since i read it that’s what i’m going with, so yeah, they’re turned into babies to begin with because of that. and also to weaken them because they ARE the strongest in the world, and kawahira would rather they aren’t able to fight back against the whole curse thing to their fullest capabilities.

what about lal though? her curse mostly works like canon, i.e as long as she doesn’t use it she gets to grow back in her adult body eventually, BUT.

when the arco die, her curse comes back full force, which is painful in and of itself. like i didn’t spell it out because it’s obvious, but it is said in the manga the arco feel like absolute shit bearing the curse, and their body don’t work like other people anymore, and that lal was going to kill herself even when only bearing half the curse, so, we need to keep that in mind too.

but more than that, she also gets to die multiple times and experience multiple lives through reincarnation too, because when the arco die, she’s effectively the only one keeping the world turning, so it’d drain her from all her flames pretty damn fast. let’s say in the course of seven days (*wink wink*), which can be the time the arco needs to come back to life. and once they do, each bearing back their part of the curse, THEN lal comes back to life too.

but what about the sky arco? their curse also mostly work like canon, which you already know i personally think they have it the worse. so they only get to live one lifetime, though they still have to bear the toll of living through multiple lives in a way because of their visions, and still die the fastest in exchange for keeping their adult body, BUT.

so you know how i said the pacifiers bring the arco back to life? well let’s change it a little and say that they bring the sky arco back to life, and THEN the sky arco brings the others back to life, as it’s canon it’s one of the thing they can do. i’m thinking they’d give their pacifiers their flames, and hold onto their consciousness, or heart like uni puts it, and breathe life into it (and then their body) again.

but canonically this process costs them their life, so scratch what i said above, because it means they actually die multiple times during their time as arco too. actually they’d even die twice in a row?? whelp, fucked up, but it’s the whole point of this post isn’t it lol.

but wait because i have MORE. wouldn’t that be interesting to make them have an ACTIVE part in this fucked up curse thing?

so i thought, what if they actively extend their time as arco as much as they can, making sure they remain the strongest AND killing everyone who seems like they might become the next generation of arco, because they know once they become too weak and there’s other people kawahira can pass on the pacifiers, he won’t hesitate to do just that. but if there’s no one for him to do that, which the arco will see to it there isn’t, even as they grow weaker kawahira will have to keep using them until the very last second.

and obviously they don’t want that, but survival instinct sure makes you walk on some fucked up paths, but more than that they don’t want to die before successfully hunting kawahira down and have some good devastating punches on him at the very least.

so they dutifully hone their skills to stay the strongest and buy themselves time, learning from all their different lives how to bring their skills to the next level no one could imagine a la mukuro, and they do become monsters in baby form, which i love that so much for them<3.

and that’s everything off the top of my head after my brain went into a frenzy about this lol. feel free to add, as well as everyone else who wants to!

[antimony-medusa]

If you're doing the fanfic asks: 5, 11, 24?

I am indeed doing the fanfic asks!

5. most popular fic this year

Okay so if you count by subscriptions, bookmarks or hits, that would be my Syndicate Heist Of Las Nevadas (But Everybody Has Superpowers), The Totem Of Undying Job. Put almost four months and 62k of writing into that one and re-learned how to write and finished a long-form story for the first time in *cough* ten *cough* many years.

If you count by kudos, that would be the 700-word sickfic I wrote while the kettle boiled to deal with canon betrayals in someone else's fic (shoutout to knifetrick), that is the only thing I wrote this year that can be described as "fluffy" and also had nine people subscribe to it (?). This Is My Pity Party I do not understand you and how people keep finding you, but I'm— glad you enjoyed? Thank you for the kudos?

11. fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year

Uh. This is obvious to anyone who takes a gander at my page, but that would be DSMP, my angsty hilarious broken mans writing betrayals and drama into block game. Or wait, that's not a fandom tag, so *clears throat* my favourite fandom is Video Blogging RPF.

24. favorite fic you read this year

Please ask me something easier, like "when is the world going to get better". I refuse to drop it down to only one so you're gonna get a couple answers. Oh god I went through my bookmarks and you're gonna get a COUPLE answers.

(Readmore to save your dash.)

oh dear, can you see me? by findingkairos, for being the first serious longfic that I'd read in the fandom and making me think about minecraft mechanics as informing story, and about dehumanization and coming back from that, and about inherent dignity, and for like, blowing my mind. This is the first writing of any kind that I went back to re-read in years and it changed my relationship with reading right at about the same time as I was starting to be unable to concentrate on original fiction of any kind and panicking over that. Something about reading on my computer still worked though, and so I did not lose my mind, and instead I went "I am going to google how to be a good commenter on fic and emulate that because I need to do something to express my love here". Pronoun shift my beloved.

Orphan's Path, by @aenor-llelo, Alderous, Anarchy-Schmanarchy (Murder_Schmurder), BattleBlaze, ConcoctionsFromHell, Falrisesi, fluxphage, Otakuforlife19, Rocket999. (it takes a village to write an orphan's path.) Right, so, I am aro/ace. Known that for a good like, six/four years now. Yes I was slow to figure it out, shush, literally no one told me it was an option for the first twenty some-odd years of my life. This is the first time I read a depiction of a QPR, presented as equal to romantic relationship, or in main characters, or in adults, and it undid me. The idea? That you could not be so irreparably broken that you could be enough for someone even if you couldn't give them romance? That you didn't have to play third-string behind the real important family and romance relationship? That you weren't inherently tragic? That you weren't inherently lesser? That you weren't inherently broken? Was a lot? Also it was funny?

Don't Hang Up Now, I'm Not Done, by teahound (@tea-with-veth). The first tubbo-centric fic I read and then I was deeply disappointed to find how difficult it was to find anything that even remotely measures up. But I loved the relationships in this so much, it basically punted me into beeduo fandom. Now I have 20k+ channel points with both tubbo and ranboo (and tubbo alt), and whenever they show up in fic I cheer for my boys.

Hush Now (You Were Lost but Now You’re Found), by @corpse-art. You know when you read something and you're like "oh, this is what everyone else is trying to do with the genre". So absolutely beautifully written and conceived and plotted, sent me down a rabbit hole of superhero AUs which mostly did not measure up, I adore it. The reveal of information is so obviously intentional and crafted? We have learned so much and still actually know so little? It's a masterwork? The intentionality of it all?

the trinkets and the treasures we brought back from the crusades, by Odaigahara (@droidofmay). Absolutely beautifully-done world-building and characterization in a one-shot where one character is only there via an ancient diary and the other person is dying. What one-shots want to be. I try to rec this and I lose my words and I am just grabbing people by the front of the shirt and yelling READ IT.

Bad Beat, by Bee_4 (@theminecraftbee). I do not understand how to play card games. I don't understand bluffing or card counting or the rules. But this managed to keep me absolutely on the edge of my seat for 10k words and then it sucker-punched me. HOW TO TENSION LIKE THIS I DO NOT KNOW.

Whatever Remains, However Improbable, by @7cxrhye. It is a fantastic mystery that made me forget to eat or get up from the computer for an afternoon (I was walking around making tea carrying my laptop with me), and also the author invited me to her discord server and I timidly joined and then I learned that fic discord servers are the best place on the internet, so it was noteworthy both ways. (This is just such a good mystery, you guys.)

Cataclysm, by thanotaphobia (blue000jay) (@thanotaphobia). Cataclysm my beloved, the reason I eagerly check the calendar to see if it's friday and sadly droop throughout the week. This is my favourite because it is an astonishingly good fantasy AU with politics where everyone is an unreliable narrator and so much is happening behind the scenes, and it is my favourite because it made me absolutely lose my mind in my desire to know what is going on and literally start a thirteen-page document titled "conspiracy document" tracking facts and alliances and theories, and it is my favourite because I actually got in on the ground floor and got to read this one from chapter one (I was the eleventh comment) and I was recommending it around from chapter one onwards because I knew it was going to be amazing and I was fucking correct, motherfuckers. Read Cataclysm.

mangoball, for being so hilarious that I actually sent it to my non-dsmp friends and went "okay I think this still makes sense outside the fandom, this is so funny, read it, I need you to understand the washing machine joke".

Yeah thanks for asking such an easy question to answer.

fanfic end of the year asks

[abombihoney]

I really like time travel aus and bug fables doesn't have one yet, so

Any thoughts where and when team snakemouth should be yeeted to make it fun or angsty? Maybe yeet someone else back in time instead?

OH DSHSJKSDKLJSD I LOVE TIME TRAVEL!!!!!

ok so i dont really think bug fables is tragic enough to warrant a proper time travel fix it au, which are my fav by the way. cause nobody (we care about) died, hoaxe isnt very sympathetic, and there werent years of machinations that drove the current plot.

so a fix-it is out.

now, other kinds of time travel AUs that would be interesting:

trying to put hoaxe on the right path, but their interference is what actually causes him to become stinky evil man

way back to shortly after the awakening. when proper civilization didnt really exist yet :0

oooo team snakemouth gets to travel to shortly before/after leif went to snakemouth. they get see muse and leif sees his past self/the effect of his absence HIS FUCKING KID TOO FUCK. -the delectable moral quandry of do we go back to the present? can we? should we when leif could be happy with his wife? -leif wanting to connect with muse but he's not really leif, and what if they go back? would he break muse's heart twice? or abandon his new family? -either option is amazing! they can leave and leif will always know that he chose to abandon muse- but he knows muse will survive -without him but kabbu and vi need him now -or they all stay? and leif gets the best of both worlds where he works it out with muse and gets to raise vi along with his biological child? the chance to tell elizant that her daughter will struggle without her, but will manage and become a strong queen she can be proud of?

hoaxe goes back to the past and tries to get artifacts, but he really just stole them after team snakemouth got them. but like, say kabbu and vi are still kids lol. so he just gotta. wait around and not look to evil and wait for them to grow up. perhaps he gets attached and learns to be good. or perhaps he twists and manipulates vi and kabbu into his minions (i dont think hes acutally smart enough for that tho lol)

vi and leif get sent back and they save kabbu and pals from the beast

leif goes back in time and prevents himself from becoming cordycecpped. he just vibes for a while but muse and normal leif are like why are you me/my husband. he gets included in the family and becomes a cool uncle. he is eagerly waiting for kabbu and vi to be born/come to bugaria. he meet them young, way younger than they had been when they first met. maybe he adopts them idk this man is a dad

OH FUCK team snakemouth goes back in time and prevents the roaches from disappearing???? they stop the roach experiments?? oh shit that would be cool -leif can speak roach/cordycep and talk to the other test subjects -these guys kick unethical roach ass -we're from the future u dont succeed also this is so fucked up and illegal go to jail

[summerofsnowflakes]

The Last Time

Request: Can I request an angsty fic with either one of the bay boys using the prompt “So that’s it? It’s over?” 

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader / Rafael Casal x Reader 

Word Count: 1.1K 

Warnings: Cheating and just total utter sadness...

A/n: I was meant to post this earlier but i have had my head stuck in the first Bridgerton book all day. All I will say is i am sorry in advance because this is not the typical content for Valentines day. 

This was the last time.

Just one more time and you would end it for good.  

Of course, you had said that before. You had uttered that very statement to yourself every day for the last six months and every day you believed yourself a little bit less. You tried to convince yourself that he hadn’t dominated every thought that went through your head. You persuaded yourself that the whole affair was entirely meaningless, you could end it anytime you want.  But you were a deceptive person, a cheater, that much was clear as day. You always found yourself back in his bed, doing unspeakable things and damaging everyone in your path of destruction. Most importantly though, you were hurting Rafael, the man you truly loved; even if he was none the wiser. You were a tornado of pain and Daveed had been drawn into the centre with you.

You remember the night it all began, it was crystal clear in your mind. The alcohol flowed throughout the evening and Rafa got a little too drunk. It was a celebration, no one blamed him. Daveed was a gentleman, offering to help you both home when he saw you struggling to hold up your boyfriend, waiting for your taxi home. To any outsider it was completely innocent and in fairness it had started out that way. Rafa was put to bed by Daveed with ease, something you wouldn’t have managed. You handed him a glass of whiskey, neat and cheersed to a night cut short.

That’s when it all got a bit blurry and steamy. You can’t remember who initiated it, but you’re certain that it was inevitable, destined to play out. How could anyone resist that charming smile and those fiery eyes that bored into you with pure lust? You were overwhelmed by the needy passion of the whole thing. You could still feel his strong hand clamped over your mouth to quiet you as you both climbed towards your orgasms together. You remained glued to one another long after it was over, but no words were exchanged and he escaped with a fleeting kiss. A promise of more to come.

You were left alone, with nothing but your thoughts and the regret crept its way into your head, the guilt began nibbling at your finger-tips, the anxiety dropped itself on your stomach. Alone in the dark you were unable to move from the scene of your crime…

You sat silently on your bed, head in your hands as you tried to collect yourself before he arrived. The small blue velvet box sat open on top of the bedside table. The silver band was littered with clear diamonds and blue sapphires. It glittered under the soft light of the lamp, it was the ring you had always dreamed of. Only Rafa would be thoughtful enough to dig through the archives of your relationship to remember such small details to include in your future together.

Daveed left himself in, it wasn’t unusual for him to do that. He saw the ring lying carelessly on the table where you had left it an hour ago. It cried out to him to be hidden back in the safety of the draw where Rafa had concealed it this morning. But he would never touch it out of fear it would burn his skin, branding the truth of their relationship onto his skin for everyone to see. He knew this was the end, the last time.

You felt the eyes of the ring watch you, recording the sad scene being played out before it. It silently judged you from the corner of the room as you desecrated the sacred space that was reserved only for you and Rafa. It would act as a constant reminder of the pain you and Daveed had caused. It sealed the tragic end of your affair. But it didn’t stop you from savouring your final moments together. You needed this, you needed him. You craved the feeling of his body heavy on top of yours. You yearned for the sound of his hot ragged breath in your ear as he chased the same relief you did. You thirsted for the passion he offered as his hand held your wrists tightly away from your body. One last time.

Just once more and then you could forget this ever happened. Go back to the safety of Rafa’s arms and pretend there was nothing but friendship between you and Daveed. You could spend the rest of your life convincing yourself that this wasn’t love, just as you had for the last six months. You could leave behind the guilt that had eroded you down to nothing. You could stop questioning whether it was possible to love two people at the same time, even though you knew the answer deep in the pit of your stomach. In those final seconds of ecstasy you couldn’t stop wondering whether you would do it all over again if you went back to that fateful night.

And when it’s finally over with, you go through the motions of redressing.  You don’t feel as though you’re in the room, you feel like you’re watching the end from the same place as the ring. An outsider to your own life. There aren’t any words to be spoken, not yet anyway. It’s too difficult for both of you. You’re mourning the death of a relationship that never stood a chance from the beginning. You stand in a soft embrace for the longest time until Daveed couldn’t stand it any longer. It’s time to go. “So that’s it? It’s over?” Daveed’s voice cracked as he whispered into your hair. Your body trembled and harsh tears escaped you. You weren't ready to let this go, but reluctantly you nodded into his chest. He held you tighter, fighting back his own tears. One of you needed to be strong or you would end up back in bed.

A thick blanket of silence rested on you as you both shuffled towards the front door, your eyes were glued to the floor, his eyes were red from holding back the tears. He opened his mouth to speak but words failed him. You understood and smiled sadly at him. He’s gone without a word. But this time there’s no promise of more. No this was the last time.

Before you could move from your spot in front of the door, Daveed reappeared before you once again, the tears were evident of his face now. “You know, in another time or place this would have been perfect...” He observed solemnly.

“I know Diggs.” You nodded before turning your back on him and your affair.

It truly was the last time. 

[aswellingstorm]

taylor swift x catradora playlist

in honor of evermore dropping tonight (midnight, EST) i humbly present the following by album break down of songs that miss swift wrote solely for catradora

taylor swift (2006)

tied together with a smile--the struggle adora faces being the hero/put on a pedestal from her horde days to becoming she ra

invisible--catra facing jealousy over adora’s new friendships

i’m only me when i’m with you--young catradora/growing up in the horde

fearless (2008)

forever & always-- broken promise. need i say more

white horse-- catra’s resentment for adora’s hero complex

breathe-- mutual catra & adora--struggling to cope with the other choosing the opposing side

you’re not sorry--adora coming to terms w post s3 catra & having to accept her former best friend has gone too far this time

change-- post s1 victory for adora

speak now (2010)

the story of us--princess prom catradora vibes

mean--unfortunately.........could see the best friend squad singing this therapeutically & adora thinking of catra

better than revenge-- ‘stealing other peoples toys on the playground won’t make you many friends//i’m just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey’....jealous catra really comes thru here

innocent-- feel like this could be applied to adora but more specifically catra losing herself and her innocence in this war/getting caught in the cycle of abuse shadow weaver set her in at a young age

if this were a movie-- adora’s naïve hope that catra might make the right choice one day

haunted-- ‘all this time you and i have walked a fragile line, never thought i’d live to see it break’, easily fits into adora leaving the horde, but def has the angsty vibes for ‘save the cat’

back to december--regret. longing. wishing u could take something back but knowing you really cant

enchanted--ok hear me out. not necessarily a ‘meet cute’ for them, but could def see this song playing at a princess prom post s5 and being a cute look for them over all.

red (2012)

treacherous--post ‘save the cat’, catra learning redemption is....something she Wants

the last time--post-portal. def reminds me of the scene where catra saves glimmer and apologizes to adora

sad beautiful tragic-- break up sadness

the lucky one--more adora becoming she ra/learning the truth of mara

i almost do--catra & adora missing each other on opposite sides of the war

come back...be here--^^

state of grace--end of/post s5

1989 (2014)

out of the woods--i mean..........those ladies entered the whispering woods in s1 on a stolen skiff and did not leave until the end of the series

all you had to do was stay-- aside from the title... “let me remind you this was what you wanted // you ended it// you were all I wanted //but not like this”. def catra yearning

i wish you would--all of the lyrics. all of them

bad blood--warrants no explanation

this love-- “when you’re young, you just run// but you always come back to what you need”......................the defense rests

clean--s4 adora accepting and coming to terms w catra’s decision

wonderland-- really captures the betrayal/hurt of s1 catradora

you are in love-- adora POV// subtle moments leading up to realizing she loves catra

new romantics--”we need love, but all we want is danger//we team up then switch sides like a record changer”

catra’s personal memoir reputation (2017)

i did something bad--a title that could (unfortunately for everyone else) summarize a large majority of catra’s decisions. the song is very justified/righteous anger/revenge. basically a ‘fuck you, i know i’m bad’ & embracing that. reminds me of her kicking sw & hordaks ass (the rebellion could never) and her just...war criming it up in the crimson waste

Look What You Made Me Do-- void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra--

getaway car--could see this from adora’s perspective to catra solely for the whole leaving/betrayal bit. but might be more fighting for double trouble & catra’s relationship

dancing with our hands tied-- i mean...lyrically. everything. but esp ‘I'd kiss you as the lights went out//swaying as the room burned down//I'd hold you as the water rushes in//If I could dance with you again”

dress-- “i dont want you like a best friend”. period. end of sentence. 

this is why we can’t have nice things--s1 promise feels. the lack of forgiveness, the shade. u know.

lover (2019)

cruel summer-- “i scream for whatever it’s worth, i love you--ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” the heart. the longing. the ‘i dont want to keep secrets just to keep you’

the archer-- ‘who could ever leave me, but who could stay?’ + the rest of the song is v fitting for both catra/adora

afterglow--making up, admitting wrongs--catra perspective

miss americana & the heartbreak prince--idk just the narrative of the song reminds me of them

it’s nice to have a friend--whooooh boy this post is not about glimbow but this song works equally as well for them

daylight--enjoy the healing

lover--enjoy the healing pt 2

death by a thousand cuts-- warrants 0 explanation

folklore (2020)

finally

the 1-- definitley adora POV, reminiscing on maybe what they could have been. maybe in a world where catra never redeemed herself or they never reunited and adora watched her friends pair up/get married/build lives w each other, she might realize there is a whole in her heart. a part that’s missing and cant be explained, but she feels it every time she looks at glimmer&bow. 

cardigan-- feels like catra writing a letter to adora. reflecting on the feelings of hurt and betrayal after time has passed and the anger fades

exile -- lowkey the premise of my fic but. ‘i’m not your problem anymore/ you were my crown/ now i’m in exile seeing you out’ catra was raised to feel like she was adora’s problem to fix. she feels cast aside by her for a majority of the series etc

my tears ricochet-- “i didn't have it in myself to go with grace//and you're the hero flying around saving face//and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?//cursing my name, wishing I stayed//look at how my tears ricochet” tswift explained this in the doc about how no one can hurt you like your best friend turned enemy. so i think in that sense this song works from adora’s perspective--but there’s so much bitterness and anger that i feel like it fits more from catra’s POV

seven-- “love you to the moon and to saturn//passed down like folksongs//the love lasts so long” i feel like this is so young/child adora and her feelings of protectiveness over catra. their bond through trauma and abuse

august--lmaoooooo i know. ok i KNOW what the deal is. i KNOW that cardigan, august and betty are a narrative story and really there are 3 POVs--james, betty & august. but i will do with that what i please. i just see catra’s pov from this song just as much as i see it for cardigan. her losing adora/feeling like adora doesn’t want her back or will choose other ppl over her. 

this is me trying--can fit adora’s need to be everything for everyone/fear of failure--leading to burn out. also works for what i assume how catra’s redemption arc continued post s5. progress isn’t linear and this can show both of them struggling to recover from abuse

invisible string--if u strip out the imagery of taylor and her mans then sure

mad woman--i MEAN...is this not catra’s villain origin story? so often she was just poked/kicked/provoked into continuing down the dark path. not always by adora but regardless.

epiphany-- ‘with you i serve, with you i fall down’ reminding me of them both fighting/practicing/training together pre-s1 as well as them finally teaming up

betty--betty betty betty. the worst thing these two have ever done is what they did to each other. i see it more catra to adora, but it can go either way. gotta admire catra’s range for fitting into the role of betty, august + james... who else is doing it quite like her?

peace-- adora to catra. she can never not be she ra. is that enough for catra?

hoax--def more of a catra POV

evermore (2020?)

tbd......

[victorie552onepiecespeedrun]

Reading One Piece pt 334: Crying Man

Chapter 582

Thoughts:

- “Two weeks after Paramount War…” wait what. They did a timeskip? Did Luffy wake up?

- yeah, world is still a mess

- Ivankov are leaving AND leaving Luffy to Jimbei

- as said before, Law is staying at Amazon Lily

- EVERYONE LUFFY WOKE UPPPPPPPPPP

- …yikes

- yep, Hancock’s still a simp

- “First Impel Down and then Navy Headquarters. That’s like an ant diving into a hurricane! Returning alive is something only a god could do. What do the heavens want from this man?” Grandma is thinking hard

And I’ve been thinking too: if ant can survive a microwave, why wouldn’t it survive a hurricane? I would say it has higher chances of survival than humans, less weight to toss around, less things to break? 

Please don’t cite me anywhere, I don’t know science

- looks like Jimbei went away with Luffy to give him a pep talk. I hope his Talk no Jutsu is stro… LAW HAS LUFFY’S HAT GUYS LAW HAS LUFFY’S HAT

- (I know many people were holding Luffy’s hat for safekeeping but I looked at that panel and my Lawlu senses went crazy. I guess I’m a shipper)

- …oh Luffy…

- “I’m sorry Luffy. I’m sorry you didn’t get to save me.” flashbacks :(

- :( :( :(

- kid, stop destroying stuff and start crying already

- me: That’s a lot of damage!

Someone: The guy or the place?

me: Yes

- Jimbei is here

- yelling

- “It’s not a dream, is it?”

- “Yes”

- now he’s crying

It’s hard to look at but also makes me feel better. Like, I know he won’t go on a war path or swear an oath of vengeance, you know? There’s a chance we’ll deal with it in a healthy way

- god, Luffy’s panels. Oda outdid himself again. It doesn’t look tragic, it looks a little stupid really, but Damn It, that’s a face of a man who CAN’T STOP CRYING

- Jimbei’s starting to cry too in sympathy

- oh NO, we’re getting FLASHBACKS. I think that one will be long, Oda knows he can hurt us more with it

- 10 years ago, Garp is leaving Luffy on some island

- Garp is having a bad day

- “Grandpa, I keep telling you, I wanna be a Pirate King!” “First you eat a devil fruit and now you spout this nonsense! You’re going to become the strongest Navy man ever! It was my mistake. I should never have left you in that peaceful Windmill Village.” Garp’s A+ Parenting in action I see

- Luffy is so tiny, aww

- …who’s that woman

“Dadan, Bandit, Boss of the Dadan Family, Ace and Luffy’s foster parent” …Garp, what were you thinking

- they’re parenting for Garp so he won’t arrest them? Good deal for them but only Garp would think of it

- :D Ace’s and Luffy’s first meeting :D

- angsty 10 year old Ace, aww

I’m sure everything will go smoothly with them :D

rOP 333  rOP 335

[jungkookiebus]

At Death’s Edge pt. 1 | jjk

Genre: supernatural x angst x future fluff Pairing: Death!jungkook x OC Word Count: 1.8k Rating: PG-13 Warnings: mentions of death  Summary: Jungkook walks the path of the dead, holding in his hand those that have passed, ushering them towards the clearing. Along the path, hidden in the darkness of the trees, souls that refused to walk with him hide in the shadows. When he hears the cries of a girl, he tries to coax her onto the path, but when she doesn’t oblige he moves one. What Jungkook doesn’t know is that the girl is about to change his entire viewpoint on life and death.  Author’s Note: I plan for this to be very angsty and sad so don’t expect a good ending with this one, folks. Also, this will be my first OC, non-reader insert, story so please don’t hate it lol.

Death had a beauty all its own, but rarely did someone see it that way. Many wanted to live in the present, gaze upon what the earth had to offer, feel the warmth of a lover’s touch, and bask in the rain on a warm afternoon. Death was not cold or unkind as it was made out to be. As a matter of fact, death was all around. When a flower died, it returned to the earth, and fertilized the soil for the next one. A man died in a car accident but donated his heart to a mom whose five month old will now grow up with its mother. When something died, Jungkook was always there to help it pass along. With a soft touch and a warm smile, he helped those that were afraid and those who were ready to leave.

“Where are we going?” A small boy, maybe six or seven, was holding Jungkook’s hand as they walked down a wooded path.

“To an exciting place.” Jungkook’s eyes scanned the woods. On the path, the sun shone brightly, but those who did not want to pass, stayed in the shadows of the boughs. Rarely did they ever try to venture onto the path. He looked down at the boy now who, in turn, swiveled his head upwards to look at him. He had a head full of shocking red hair and a generous amount of freckles across his nose.

“Mom said it’s not safe to leave with strangers.” Concern crossed the little boy’s face.

“Your mom is very smart.” Jungkook’s smile was warm. He wanted to keep the boy happy and possibly veer him off the topic of his mother. Children always tended to cry when they remembered they were away from their parents. How do you explain to a child that they will never see their parents again? At least, not for some time. But, when children started to cry, the shadows moved closer to the edge of the trees.

A white mist began to form around the boy, an iridescent glow that the dead took on the closer they got to the edge. Ahead, the sun shone down into a clearing.

“Are we going to play?” The boy’s eyes shone with a joy that Jungkook only ever saw in children, or the elderly at the thought of seeing a passed loved one.

“Yes, we can play whatever you want.” The boy smiled so brightly that Jungkook felt a quick jolt of sorrow through his heart. It was heartbreaking when children passed on, but he was the right person for this. His demeanor was always that of comfort and most passed on with no problem. There were others, though, those that lurked in the woods.

“Is there a ball there? My dad is teaching me how to pitch.” He squeezed Jungkook’s hand and he already felt it growing cold. The boy couldn’t see death like Jungkook could. He couldn’t see that he was fading and that his soul was dissipating into the afterlife even as they walked.

“I’m sure we’ll find something at the edge.”

The path ahead of them widened and Jungkook saw the clearing a little better. White mist always seemed to hang in the clearing. Those were beings that always stayed at the edge, ready to help new souls pass on.

“Are you ready?” Jungkook asked as they approached. The boy was almost gone now, but he could still see his smile.

“Yes! I’m ready!” His voice echoed as if he were in the woods, far away from him and with that, the boy ran ahead and Jungkook let his hand slip from his. He didn’t drop his as he watched the tendrils of white mist rise from his fingers after the boy. Almost as if running into a heavy fog, the boy disappeared, passed on from this world.

Jungkook brought his hand to his face and watched as the last remaining wisps of the boy slid from his fingers and into the clearing.

“Goodbye, little one,” he said softly.

He turned away from the clearing and silence fell around him. The mist at the edge was always quiet. It had the same strange quality of being alone in the middle of a heavy snow. It was all at once beautiful, but with something at the edges, dark and sinister. Sometimes, the shadows in the trees whispered. They always tried to get Jungkook to walk beyond the tree line, but he knew better. Even as a bearer of death, there were places he did not like to venture. Of course, there was always a chance of a soul being redeemed, but they would then be able to break free of the dark woods themselves. Jungkook always waited on the path with an extended hand and a smile, ready to walk them into the clearing.

His footsteps barely made a sound on the soft dirt as he made his way back. There was still probably so much for him to do. He stuck to the middle of the path, ignoring the whispers coming from the trees. If he looked hard enough, he’d be able to make out figures as they shifted and moved among one another. It bothered him when souls refused to move on, as if he had done something wrong.

He was almost clear of the path when he heard the soft crying. It was close to the edge of the trees so that meant this soul was new. The longer they stayed, the harder it was for them to get back to the path. He stopped, listening, after the whispers had taken over again. The cries came again, but they were soft and to his left. His gaze averted to the darkness beneath them but did not see anything. It sounded like a woman, but he wasn’t sure. He guessed that she was probably hiding behind one of the trees.

“Hello?” he called out.

The crying stopped immediately.

“H-hello?” It was a woman and she seemed shocked to have been heard, much less have someone talk to her.

“Do you need help passing? You’ll have to come out.” Jungkook leaned over, balancing on one foot, trying to glimpse her.

“Passing?”

Oh dear. She didn’t know. This happened sometimes in tragic deaths, much like the boy, but children were more susceptible to trust Jungkook.

“Yes, but there isn’t any reason to be afraid. I can take you to a place that’s much nicer than the woods.”

She started to cry softly again.

“What’s your name?” She still cried, ignoring his question. “Mine is Jungkook.”

Jungkook sat down in the path, close to the grass that lined the tree line. He would take all the time in the world if it meant helping her out of the darkness.

“It’s Hae.” Her voice was soft, drifting from the trees on the breeze.

“A girl who is like the ocean.” Jungkook hoped she could hear his smile.

The leaves rustled in the trees as the breeze blew down the path from the clearing, a clear indication that Jungkook was needed elsewhere, but he did not move.

“How did I get here?”

He leaned forward on his elbows. He had yet to see the girl, so he wasn’t sure what had happened to her.

“Something very sudden probably happened to you. It’s okay not to remember.”

“I’m afraid.” Her whisper was heard above the din of other noises as he concentrated on her a little harder.

“I don’t want you to be afraid. You can come out.” Jungkook willed her to peer from around the tree. He had pinpointed where she was. Sometimes, when he could see them, it was easier for him to draw them out to the path.

“What happens if I do?” She sounded timid, defeated.

“I’ll hold your hand and walk the path with you. You don’t have to go alone.”

She cried again, harder this time. Jungkook saw barely a flash of a hand as she held onto the tree. The wind shifted and blew harder down the path as if an oncoming storm were about to drench the woods, but he knew it never rained here. The souls were getting restless. He usually did not spend this much time on the path. He sighed as he stood, dusting off his dark pants as he attempted to look in the woods again.

“Don’t venture any further into the woods, Hae. If you decide to come to the path, I’ll know, but please do not go into the darker places.”

She didn’t respond and he could no longer hear her crying. His eyes soaked in the darkness, trying to find her, but it was no use. When a soul did not want to be seen, they could hide easily from him. He walked away slowly, tilting his head to see if he could hear anything from her, but there was none. He could always come back later, he thought.

The balmy, warm atmosphere of the human world began to creep onto the path as he made his way to the living. Here, there was a blur, like the sun reflecting on a hot road. The smell of life drifted into Jungkook’s nose with its mashup of sweet and bitter notes. When he walked through, he was never quite sure where he’d end up if the dead needed him. On his own, he could control the location. He felt the pull of the dead the closer he got to the gateway. The step through always felt like a warm shower and the plunge off a cliff all at once. He walked onto a semi-busy town and scanned the small, squat building in front of him. The road was not paved, and many carts and horses moved around one another. He seemed to be in a poor country and the squat building in front of him that could have passed for a small home was probably the hospital for this small village.  

He heard a gasp behind him and before he could turn the person said, “Where is this?” His eyes widened and his blood ran cold as he recognized the voice, no longer holding sorrow, but shock and surprise. He turned to see a woman with long, black hair, porcelain skin, and the largest eyes he had ever seen. She stared in shock at the people around them as they seemed not to notice their presence. They all seemed to walk right through them, or they went around them all together. She had her arms crossed across her stomach as she attempted to step out of the way of people who couldn’t even see her.

How did this happen? He searched the space beyond her, but there was no hint of the gateway anymore. He realized with a sickening drop in his stomach that it was possible for them to pass back, but how had she done it? He licked his lips before looking back down at her as she stared innocently back up at him.

“Hae?”

[the-golden-ghost]

“Like a situation where Jigen keeps... trying, holding out a shred of hope that maybe something will happen, but it never does and he didn't really expect it would. “

Right through my heart. You know how to make it so angsty and enticing with just few sentences! I’m loving this 😭

Maybe Jigen is fine that Zenigata only has eyes for Lupin at the beginning (and he didn’t really care) but because Zenigata just keeps asking about Lupin at every opportunity he has, Jigen starts to get annoyed by this (also annoyed by the fact that he’s annoyed). And he doesn’t realise that he started wanting Zenigata to look at him as a person, not as Lupin’s best man, and becoming slowly jealous of the relationship Lupin has with Zenigata (he’s obviously heading towards a dangerous path and most likely only a broken heart is waiting for him but he just can’t help himself).

For a more happier scenario, maybe Zenigata starts to think about Jigen more often as well like “if Lupin’s there, maybe Jigen is also there” (and not the other way round as he used to think) and noticing stuff like a random person with a hat on the street “heh, that’s the same kind of hat Jigen wears! I wonder where it’s from”.

What can I say? I like writing tragic situations XD

And while I don't want to give away TOO many spoilers, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with what you wrote in the third paragraph, with Zenigata's focus being solely on Lupin even while he's with Jigen and this fact starting to rub Jigen the wrong way. It's bad enough, when he's with Lupin at home, he's always second to Fujiko and he knows that, accepts that. But having the same thing happen again here it just kinda reiterates for Jigen that... yeah, he's not going to be anyone's first choice.

The thing is, though, that they went into it with an open policy of "this is going to be under the table, no strings attached, Lupin comes first for us both and we're not going to catch feelings or anything dumb like that" and then I guess Jigen didn't hold up on his end of the bargain lmao. I still don't think he'd expect anything to ever come of this, no matter how badly he wants it, and I think in some sense, his pride would keep him from admitting it if he did. I think it would be, if anything, just... moments when Lupin's off with Fujiko and Goemon's been away for months, Jigen gets lonely. Maybe during those times he calls up Pops like "hey remember that...?" and just wants someone's company, someone who knows him better than a random stranger he picked up in a bar.

As for Zenigata thinking about Jigen afterwards - it's quite possible! He learns a lot more about Jigen from this, since he never really saw him in his more chilled out and relaxed mode, only ever in professional settings where he's playing the part of the dangerous and crafty gunman or Lupin's loyal partner. Seeing Jigen alone, and at rest, that is new. So I think Zenigata respects him more after this. Still doesn't want an actual relationship with him though lol

[crysanthemumlotus]

Drarry (Really) Slow Burn and Somewhat Over-Dramatic Angst

Don’t mind me guys, just putting this fic idea here because I need to get this out of my head somehow, and rather than attempting to write the first 2000 words before giving up, I decided to just post the outline here on tumblr. 

Feel free to use the idea if you want, just don’t forget to leave the link so I can read it!

So, without any further ado, here goes nothing:

Draco and Harry roomed together in Hogwarts eight year.

Draco being subdued at first, and Harry ignoring him, but then they’re them, so of course they’re going to start sniping and taunting each other.

Harry has nightmares, Draco is a light sleeper so he always gets woken up every single time. After a particularly bad one, Draco offered the proverbial olive branch and they spent the night talking about the war. Afterwards, it becomes their thing.

Harry telling Draco about his concerns and fears (”I wasn’t raised in a loving -- I wasn’t -- My relatives weren’t especially fond of me, when I was growing up. I think it screwed me up somehow. Sometimes, I’m afraid Ginny would see that I’m not -- That I don’t know how -- That there’s just something wrong with me, you know? And then she’ll leave me. Because I’m not -- You know.” Or, “He had planned it all along. From the moment I was dropped off with my relatives. he had planned it all along. He had... Designed my future. Shaped my path for me. Lead me right up to my death. I know why he did it. I understand. It’s for the greater good. But still, sometimes -- sometimes, I -- I’m angry. It’s petty, I know, but Merlin -- I’m angry at him. Or, “He was in love with my mother. He hurt her feelings. She never forgave him. He was -- An arsehole, but I -- I feel sorry for him, you know. In the end, he died without ever gaining her forgiveness. He died with regrets.”).

And Draco patiently listening to him, telling him it’s okay, he’s not broken, it’s okay to be angry at a dead person.

Then their friendship just blooms from there. Harry spends a lot of time with Draco (going to Hogsmeade together while bickering like old married couples, playing Seeker game while taunting each other, slow walks by the lake while talking about their hopes and dreams, joint study sessions where there’s a lot of academic argument and close leanings as they look at each other’s notes, snowball fights with lots of tackling and touching one another, ballroom dancing lessons).

Harry teaching Draco to be nicer to other people, and helping him apologize to Hagrid and Neville for being assholes to them.

The boys getting closer and developing feelings.

Then, their friendship slowly morphing into something more. A spark of desire that slowly begins to burn (insert tons of sexually charged moments with tons of subtle touches and lingering gazes and heatedly checking out the other person when they’re dressing up nicely).

Draco wants more than just friendship, Harry doesn’t (”I’m not gay”, “I love Ginny”, “Hermione and Ron wouldn’t approve”, “The Weasley is important to me, and they won’t accept you” etc.). The boys have a falling out.

Draco leaves to France to continue his studies, Harry goes on for Auror training and they don’t speak with each other again.

Insert angsty moments where they miss each other, Harry convincing himself that there’s no room for anything more than friendship with Draco, and Draco trying to stomp down his feelings by sleeping around in France.

Draco still sending gifts to Harry on Christmases and birthdays though, because he knows that it’s important for Harry to know that he’s loved.

Harry pouring out his concerns and fears into his letters to Draco instead of talking to Ginny. And Ginny’s just there, thinking that there’s nothing wrong because Harry will talk to her if there’s something bothering him, right?

Draco finally accepting that friendship is all he’s ever going to have with Harry, and decides to just stop being selfish, because he loves Harry. So he returns to England after he finishes his education and settles down.

Harry’s adult-life schedule is packed, but he always finds time to hang out with Draco (to play quidditch, sits around in near the fire discussing books and just talking about their lives and their feelings). 

At one point, Harry tells Draco about his dream to build a mountain cabin (somewhere he can escape to when things gets overwhelming), and Draco’s just -- “Alright, let’s make one”. And so they have this weekend project thing where they visit mountains to find the perfect spot, and then building a cabin together with their own hands (because Harry insists doing it with magic won’t be the same).

Draco marrying Astoria, and Harry inevitably asking, “Do you love her?”

Draco telling him the truth. That they’re marrying out of convenience. That Astoria only wants to please her dying father. That his feelings for Harry hasn’t changed (”After all these times?” Harry asks. -- “Always.”).

They have another falling out.

Harry doesn’t attend Draco’s wedding. He goes to the cabin and continues working on it, all the while man-crying as he finally accepts that he too is in love with Draco, that he too wants to be with him, but can’t ( because ”He has Ginny and James now, too many people he can’t let down. He’s holding too many thing he can’t just throw away, and he’ll have to if he wants to be with Draco”).

Draco returns from his honeymoon in Sweden or something, and then Harry just tells him, all the while apologizing for realizing his feelings all too late.

And they just go on with their lives, longing and regretting and just aching for what could have beens.

They finish the cabin, furnish it, but Harry never used it. He tells his friends he was too busy, while in truth, it just hurts too much because it constantly reminds him of Draco.

Then Scorpius is born, and as he grows up, he notices that although his parents get along well, his father always looks lonely. Then when he turns eleven and is about to board the Hogwarts Express, he sees the way his father looks at Harry Potter, and then he just sort of draws the connection (in my HC, Scorpius is a genius when it comes to reading people and their needs).

Scorpius befriending Albus so he can get closer to Harry Potter. And when he gets invited to spend Christmas with the Potters, he notices that Harry Potter is unhappy with his marriage, and he thinks that everyone is being an idiot.

He confronts Harry and tells him as much (Ha! Imagine eleven-year old Scorpius trying to talk Harry about this whole mess!), Harry reluctantly admitting that he’s in love with Draco, but can’t be together because it’s too late.

And then Scorpius just straight-up telling him, “My father once told me a story about a man who wronged the person he loved and never gained her forgiveness. He lived the rest of his life haunted by his mistake, then died with regret. I’m sure the story isn’t actually as simple as that, his lover is probably a vindictive banshee too, since she refused to forgive him at all, but anyway. What I’m trying to say is that... If you insist on being this stupid, then I’m pretty sure you’re going to end up as miserable as him. You’re never going to be happy. And then... And then you’re going to die with regrets. Lots and lots of regrets. Just like him.” 

Or something even more profound than that, I dunno.

And then getting told that by an eleven-year old just slaps Harry awake. He goes back to Hogwarts, talk to Snape’s portrait. And then he’s just like, “If she hadn’t died so tragically, I’m sure she would have forgiven you eventually.” “And how can you be so sure of that, Mr. Potter?”

“Because you love her.” Harry replies. “And, I think, it’s impossible to ignore that. It’s impossible to -- to pretend that you don’t see it or feel it. Because it’s there. It’s always there, in the memories you shared, in your attempts to apologize -- I don’t know, but it’s just there. She would have seen it, eventually, and she would have forgiven you. Because, when someone loves you that much, you can’t help but love them back.”

And then Harry finally, finally realizing that if his friends and family do love him, they will forgive him for being selfish. So he talks to Ginny, talks to Ron and Hermione, talks to his children, and then Molly and Arthur and then everyone he was afraid of letting down.

And then, after he talked to all of them, made them understand, went through the painful process of baring his heart to be poked and prodded at, he goes to Draco.

He goes to Draco and he kisses him.

Astoria and Scorpius high-fives in the background.

They go on a honeymoon in the cabin they built together, and lived happily ever after.

[bloody-fists-beating-hearts]

coyote time: 12, 31, 68, and 75

12: Coyote is 23 (i made her my age for fun) but doesn’t know her birthday and has never celebrated is because she’s a sad little street rat who isnt important. When asked, she states her age as "twenty-something”. Her real birthday is July 25, 2258.

31. Very, very, VERY rarely will Coyote ever do anything for someone else that does not also benefit her in some way. The only reason she usually does it is because of one of her superstitious beliefs in luck and karma (she isn’t religious but has a collection of beliefs based on myths/old wives tales etc that dictates some behaviours). While she’s willing to help people for money, and has a few “lines” she normally won’t cross, a completely altruistic action, or putting someone else above herself, is against her “my survival above all else” nature.

Some times this did happen:

- getting sergeant teddy for Melody

- Helping Bitter Springs with supplies and troops, and fending off the legion attackers 

- at the ending of Bye Bye Love, not accepting payment for her help

- freeing the Weathers in the slave pen 

68. hahahaha...oh boy. Coyote is so much a product of her environment. Her backstory isn’t happy, but it’s also not meant to be too angsty and tragic - because it’s one that’s pretty common amongst the citizens of New Reno, where she was born and raised.

LENGTH WARNING: I’m sorry but you’ve opened pandora’s box. here is all of coyote’s angsty backstory.

She is the illegitimate grand-daughter of the Chosen One (she doesn’t know this). Her Father is the Chosen One’s grandson, and in his travels got her mother got pregnant at a young age (without realising) and then continued his travels, eventually returning to Arroyo none the wiser. Her mother was a  waitress in one of the clubs and lost her job, eventually becaming a prostitute and jet-fiend. When Coyote was five her mother packed up and moved out of their shitty apartment and Coyote (already a latch-key kid) was officially abandoned.

New Reno is no place for a kid that young, even one as “street smart” as baby yote. She starved and begged for a bit, and was eventually “adopted” by the girlfriend of an aspiring smuggler, who agreed because he saw the potential in coyote to move product. She lived with them in an increasingly weird and fucked up family unit as the man, Ripper, grew his gang in size and power, also becoming an unstable psycho fiend in the process. Coyote continued working for gangdad until she was 15, when she stole med-x for her “mother” (one of gangdad’s new girlfriends, not the original woman who took her in the first place). The woman then turned around and blamed coyote when Ripper found out it went missing, beat coyote up some (it’s how she got the mangled ear), and kicked her to the street.

From there she found an old tribal living on the outskirts of Golgotha. He acted as a brief mentor, teaching coyote that the best way to survive is to live as animals do, with a mind only for themselves. Coyote filed down her teeth and practiced fighting hand-to-hand (she is normally a pistol user). The Tribal helps her develop a poison and also teaches her how to make slasher. Later she challenges ripper to a proper fight, and with the two of them hopped up on drugs, manages to stab and kill him with the poisoned knife.

Following this Coyote attempts to leave new reno, but gets lost in the desert surrounding it. Here she meets her namesake, a coyote that she follows to water, and then continues to track for about 2 weeks, finding food scraps and water. She forms a pseudo-religious attachment to it, believing it will lead her to somewhere better. One day it is killed by a passing caravan. Coyote is devastated, furious at the caravan guards, but is too weak to really do anything about it. The guards express an insincere apology about the death of her “pet”. Coyote buries the animal and names herself after it, out of respect. To this day she won’t kill coyotes or trespass on their territories, unless absolutely necessary. Coyote travels with the caravan around the Big Circle, eventually ending up back in New Reno, but with newfound knowledge. she spends the rest of her life being a thief, a caravan guard, a swindler, a bodyguard, a smuggler and a courier. She gets a name for herself as a courier for completing deliveries faster than most of the competition, as she can survive in the wilderness and doesn’t have to stick to known roads or paths.

Coyote’s upbringing has made her selfish, untrustworthy, suspicious of others, touch starved, and all around not very friendly. She’s never had a relationship that wasn’t transactional, never had a friendship that didn’t carry the risk of being stabbed in the back. As a result, Coyote cares about Coyote and no one else, and her time in the Mojave for the most part reflects that. I’m busy writing a fic that goes in to more detail, so watch this space if you’re interested.

75. probably draw a dick or something equally vulgar