#so I’m like oh okay you’re kinda breaking my heart here with all this sappiness | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amimimi · 3 years

Text

dreams; kyan reki

synposis: in which you tend to reki’s wounds after his second beef with adam; second part to this fic but it can be read on it’s own! takes place after episode 11

pairings: gn! reader x reki

genre: fluff. just fluff. and caretaking.

warnings: mentions of injuries. swearing. brief nudity (?) sap, so sappy.

word count: 3.5k

notes: i loved the series so much! reki has suffered enough, so i decided to show his some love. i was so so proud of him during episode 11. again, i apologize in advance for grammatical/spelling errors. i'm pretty busy with school so i'm just churning fics out at this point.

“i’m not letting you lift a finger for a month” you moan as you help seat reki on his bed. you’re both mostly dried from the rain, save for your hair and clothes. he only giggles in response and you can’t help it when you lean down to gingerly place your hands up to his face, kissing the bridge of his nose. “a month”

“ahh, i don’t think that’s gonna work” reki gives you an easy grin, before placing a kiss on the side of you mouth. “i got a shift tomorrow”

“i’ll cover your shift” you say, stone-faced. disbelief momentarily flashes across reki’s face before he breaks out into uncontrollable giggles—the kind that erupts straight from your stomach. your hands drop from his face. “shh! i’m serious!”

he hangs his head forward and brings a hand up to his mouth, attempting to quell his giggles. “you don’t even work there, y/n!” he manages to say before delving into yet another fit of giggles. reki must’ve curled in too far because his laughter is cut off by strangled cry. immediately, you surge forward, gingerly placing your hands on his shoulders.

it wasn’t unusual for reki to be banged up from skateboarding—everything from scrapes to fractures were all pretty common for him. in the beginning of your relationship with reki, it worried you to no end, and you even begged him to wear a helmet (he said no, of course). eventually you came to accept that injuries were going to be a normal occurrence for reki. but his injuries this time were slightly different.

reki had his second beef with adam earlier that night. technically reki had lost, but it felt more like a victory instead. he came so close, and he did so well. and he was happy. seeing him like that in his element, gleaming with joy, eyes lit a flame with passion—you felt like ten years was added to your lifespan. of course, reki took quite the beating but no where near the damage of last time.

“m’fine!” he wheezes, placing a hand over his stomach. “it’s just a bruise.”

you’re not convinced and it shows on your face because reki gently places his hand on the back of your head, pulling your forehead up against his. “i’m fine, baby”

you let yourself stay there, forehead pressed against reki’s and staring right into each other’s eyes. for the first time in weeks, you felt the tightness in your chest completely dissipate. because here you were gazing into his eyes—reki’s eyes, in his darkened room, knowing he was safe and okay.

“okay,” you whisper. reki gazes at you with half-lidded eyes and attempts to press his forehead closer (if that was even possible), brushing his nose against yours. “but i gotta patch you up”.

you wiggle out of reki’s grasp, who whimpers at the loss of contact, to grab the first aid kit he’d kept in his drawer. stumbling in the dark, you feel around for his desk, flicking on the lamp. reki watches you sift through the contents of his drawer, overtaken by a sudden wave of fondness. he loves you, always has. but suddenly, in this moment, he feels the love he has for you in a new way. it pools in his stomach, warm and fuzzy, and he feels so full, so content, like he ate a whole meal.

“i love you from my stomach” reki blurts out before he’s aware of what he’s saying. from over your shoulder, you glance at him quizzically and he feels a new sensation—mortification, burn all over his face. later, he’s going to blame his misspeaking on the fact that it was so late into the night and that every inch of his body was practically throbbing in pain. but right now, he can’t form any thoughts, let alone excuses.

“huh?” you’re facing him now, first aid kit in hand and your face twitching with the urge to smile. feeling his ears burn up, reki presses his lips and shakes his head, refusing to repeat what he said. “reki~! what did you say?”

he turns his head to the side as you make your way over to the bed. “i forgot”

“no you didn’t!” you whine, throwing the first aid kit on the bed and placing your hands over his cheeks. “say it again, please?”

“ahh, i meant it like—”reki pauses, thinking about how to put his feelings into words. “i-i don’t know! i love you, but sometimes i feel it in my stomach”

“oh”, you plop down right next to him on the bed, pulling your legs up to sit crisscross. reki follows your movement, pulling his legs up on the bed and crossing them. he’s looking at expectantly. “like butterflies, yeah?”

“no, not that. this feels warm—and kinda heavy”

“oh”, you tilt your head to one side and smile coyly. “so, desire then?”

reki rolls his eyes at you, his ears still red. “you’re so—”

“desperately in love with you?” you offer with a grin before leaning and catching his lips in a noisy kiss. you pull back, but not before kissing the tip of his nose just to see his reaction. reki fights back a smile, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as he shakes his head.

“j-just patch me up, please”, he sighs as his lips finally quirk into a smile.

“can I change first?” you ask. wet jeans felt like murder and your shirt was starting to stick in uncomfortable places on your torso. reki nods and points to his closet.

“i have clean shirts and sweatpants folded in there” he informs you, watching as you sit up and make your way over to his closet. reki’s not surprised when you grab his pink dope sketch shirt, shooting him a cheeky grin.

you start tugging off your jeans and reki looks away to give your privacy. “you’re so precious, reki” you coo at him. reki only smiles at the opposite wall and shakes his head. when you’re done, you drop your wet clothes in his laundry and walk over to him. “i’m decent!”

reki looks back at you and his heart twists at the sight of you, clad in his work shirt, hanging just above your knees and slightly hugging your waist. he prays he isn’t blushing and gulps.

“i have sweatpants if you want some, sweetheart”, he reminds you weakly, trying to stop staring.

you blink at him, lost and then you gasp. “oh, sorry! I didn’t meant to make you uncomfortable!” you rush. “i’ll put some pants on—”

“no!” he practically shouts, before squeezing his lips shut. you both hold your breaths when you hear his little sister in the next room, groan and shift in her sleep. waiting, until he’s sure it’s safe, he continues much quietly. “i’m not uncomfortable. you look really good, i love you like this. i just want you to feel comfortable”

adoration surges in your chest as you watch your boyfriend clumsily and earnestly explain himself, a blush adorned on his face. “i feel the most comfortable when i’m with you” you admit with a shy smile, your face growing warm.

reki blinks up at you for a second, looking momentarily stunned before his face morphs into a soft grin. his eyes twinkle as he holds his hands out for you, sure and steady. placing your hands in his calloused ones, you sit down beside on the bed and sit criss crossed.

the both of you sit like that for a while, staring lovingly at one another and taking turn squeezing each other’s hands. finally, you bring reki’s hands up to your lips, littering his knuckles with kisses before giving them a quick squeeze.

“where do you hurt the most?” you question, sliding your hands out of his to open the first aid kit. you skim over his injuries, not even knowing where to start. there’s a line of dried blood and a bruise forming on the right side of his face, must be a small laceration under his headband. you know his back is cut up pretty badly and you hope it’s nothing too deep.

“my whole body is sore, if i’m going to be honest” he replies sheepishly. frowning, you gently tug off his headband to assess the damage. just as you suspected, a small cut right under his hairline. the area is beginning to bruise too. you remember adam repeatedly punching him at one point, as reki had locked his arms around him... maybe reki should go to a hospital?

“I promise you i’m fine”, reki assures you, having picked up on the mounting worry on your face. he takes your hand in his, rubbing the roughened pad of his thumb over the back of your hand. “trust me! i’ve had worse. i was jumped and hit with a car all in one day and i didn’t even get a concussion”.

despite reki’s face beaming with pride, you frown deeper and fidget at the thought of reki getting hurt like that. “please don’t remind me...” you sigh, sitting up off the bed to grab a face towel from his closet. “i’m gonna run this under water, okay?”

“alright”, reki answered, watching you step out of his room to make your way to the bathroom. you hurry back, the wet towel dripping water down your forearm, and gently seat yourself on the bed.

you arrange yourself so that you are sitting criss cross in front of reki. “I’m going to clean it, alright?” you say, before leaning into give him a peck.

“okay” he murmurs, placing his hand on your knee. reki squeezes hard when you gently press the wet towel against his wound. you do this repeatedly until you make sure there’s no visible dirt around the wound before placing the towel on reki’s bedside table. you’re quick to patch up his forehead before placing a gentle kiss over the bandage. he snickers through his nose at this, squeezing your knee once more.

“now for your back...” you purse your lips. “take your shirt off.”

you’ve seen reki shirtless a thousand times before and he knows this. still, he can’t help but squirm under your gaze as he works at removing the layers of clothing he’s wearing. he takes his jacket off fine but he struggles a bit with his hoodie, still damp from the rain, wincing as he tugs upward on the fabric.

“here, lemme help you”, you murmur, sitting forward on your knees to tug his hoodie upwards and over his head. you work at the white t-shirt he had on under his hoodie next. gently as you could, you peeled the shirt off reki’s torso trying not to disturb his wounds. but he still flinches, sucking a quick breath in. “sorry! i’m sorry!”

“no, no! you’re fine, it just stung a little” reki promises you, giving your thigh a squeeze. you tug the t-shirt over his head, grimacing. his torso is littered with bruises and a few scrapes, but nothing too worrisome.

“okay, lemme see your back”, you tell him, bracing yourself as you crawl around him get a full glimpse. just as you thought, his back is scraped up and still bleeding lightly—nothing too deep. you grab the wet towel on his bedside table and hop off the bed to go run it under the bathroom facet.

when you return, reki is sitting on his bed exactly like you left, watching you tip toe over to him. “do you wanna take off your pants?” you ask, folding the wet towel. “maybe change into something dry?”

“um, yeah actually...” reki mutters, fumbling with his belt. “c-could you grab me some sweatpants? please?”

with the wet towel in one hand, you grab a pair of gray sweatpants from reki’s closet with your other hand. you can hear reki shuffling out of his pants as you walk over to the bed, with your face turned away.

you hold the sweatpants out for him, your face turned to the side. “you don’t have to look away if you don’t want to”, reki tells you and you can hear the smile in his voice. he takes the sweatpants from your hands.

“you gave me privacy, so i’m returning to the favor—give me your wet clothes, i’ll put them in the hamper”

you trade off the wet towel for reki’s clothes, wheeling around to place them in his hamper. when you turn back, reki is sitting with his legs hanging over the edge of the bed, wearing just his sweatpants and holding the wet towel in one hand.

“whenever you’re ready, nurse y/n”, he smiles at you, showing his teeth. you squint your eyes at him playfully and shuffle over to his bed. accepting the wet towel from reki, you crawl behind him so that you have full access to his back.

“okay, i’m going to clean your wounds, let me know if i’m hurting you”, you warn him, folding your legs underneath you. he grunts in response. taking a breath to steel yourself, you gently press the towel against the abrasions. suddenly, reki gasps loudly. you squeak and pull back almost immediately, your heart in your throat. “what?”

reki’s back is shaking and to your relief (and horror), you realize reki is laughing. he turns his head around to catch a glimpse at your expression and laughs so hard, he snorts and it almost makes you laugh—almost.

“i’m sorry, i couldn’t help it”, he gasps between laughs.

you suck your teeth. “well, now that it’s out of your system, can you hold still? i seriously don’t want to hurt you” you reposition yourself, heart still hammering in your chest.

“sorry, angel, go ahead”, he stifles a giggle, holding still. hesitantly, you press the wet towel to abrasions on his back.

“that okay?” you question and he nods. taking another breath, you dab his entire span of his back with the towel, stopping every now and then to check in on him. once you’ve cleaned his wounds up, you dig around in the first aid kit for some gauze sponges to pat his back dry. “i’m gonna wrap you up for tonight but you should let it dry tomorrow, okay?”

“you got it, nurse” reki chimes back and you bite back a smile, reaching for the gauze dressing in the first aid kit. once you’ve placed the dressing over the worst of his wounds, you grab the gauze roll and begin to wrap it around reki’s torso.

at one point, your fingers brush up against his side and his breath slightly hitches. you freeze, giving him a concerned hum.

“i’m ticklish” he whispers sheepishly and you smirk, continuing to wrap the gauze around his torso.

“storing this information for later, thank you!” you tease causing reki groans. “i didn’t wrap it too tight, did i? can you breathe?”

“i can breathe fine, don’t worry” reki sighs, as you loosely tie the gauze. “you did great, thank you”

once you’re done tying the gauze, you place your hands on top of reki’s shoulders. “good?” you ask.

“good”, reki nods. you take in reki’s bandaged back, his slightly toned shoulders, his red hair pressed against nape of his neck, even the back of his head. he look’s so good with his hair down.

before you even know what you’re doing, you gently press your lips against the nape of his neck. reki freezes, his shoulder tensing before you press another kiss along the back of his neck. he shivers and his whole body melts. you kiss again, this time further up the nape of his neck and into his hair and he lets his head hang forward, sighing slightly. another kiss is placed where his neck meets his shoulder, and he has to bite back a whimper.

“i’m so proud of you”, you whisper into the back of his neck. he reaches around to squeeze your hand. “you did so great tonight—you’re always so great, you never fail to amaze me.”

upon hearing your words, reki feels a lump form in his throat. you always told him that, how proud you were of him for doing things he thought were exceedingly mundane. he remembers that night he was panicking in your bathroom, shaking on his legs like a newborn deer and barely managing to control his breathing. how even then, you were proud of him, for what exactly? he couldn’t answer.

but now, when you tell him that with your lips soft against his nape, in the darkness of his room, he believes you. he’s banged up and unbelievably sore, but he believes you. and further more, he’s feeling proud of himself too, for not disappointing himself, for doing what he had come to do at that beef.

reki shifts around, so that he’s facing you to see that you're smiling at him in a way that he could only describe as pure adoration.

“and...” you start, pushing his bangs back from his forehead. “you looked so fucking hot”.

reki eyes widened slightly before he blows air out of his mouth and rolls his eyes. you grab his face, forcing him to look at you.

“no, no! but you actually looked really good?” you giggled, squeezing his cheeks between your hands. “like, when you nailed that landing off that cliff? and when you dodged him like that? like, i knew you could move, but you were really moving, you know—?”

“y/n—”reki starts, grinning pretty hard as he tries to advert his gaze from yours.

“and you were smiling so hard, like you were actually glowing—beaming! i don’t know, something about the way you looked under those lights they have at S...i actually wanted to bark, like wow—”

“y/n, shut up!” reki is giggling now, flushed right down to his chest. he tries to wrestle your hands from off his face, but you kept your grip.

“don’t act all shy now, mister! you knew exactly what you were doing! when you were like ‘and you’d better remember it’, i was this close to dropping to my knees—”

“y/n—”

“and every one was screaming your name and i was just like ‘yea, that’s my boyfriend! my man! my prince—!’”

suddenly, reki flips you over pinning you arms right beside your head, the both of you giggling.

“oh my god, why are you still going” reki half groans between giggles as you continue to cackle.

“my sweetheart, my baby, my sweat pea, my darling, the future of father of my children, my honey bunch, my sugar pie, the apple of my eye, the light of my life—” you list off, delirious with laughter, not even fighting against reki’s grip on your forearms. he hovers over you, laughing too, his eyes shining and his face beaming

“you need to stop” reki shakes his head slightly, his bangs falling onto your forehead as he leans in for a kiss. he pulls back and you're silent for a moment...until you start rattling off corny pet names again, but this time less giggly.

“my sun, my moon, my stars, my whole world—” you murmur before reki presses his lips against yours. he pulls away and kisses the tip of your nose, the skin slightly under your right eye, and onto your left eyelid.

“you’re so annoying”, reki whispers, letting go of your forearms to hold your face instead.

“you kinda are too”, you whisper back, placing your hands over his, rubbing your thumbs along the back of his hand.

“mmm, i guess we’re destined for one another then” he murmurs and you nod, fervently. reki kisses you sweetly and you hum against his lips. “i love you so much”.

“i love you too, baby” you sigh, putty in reki’s hands. he looks so pretty above you, the lamplight reflecting his eyes and his cheeks still flushed. he looks like the human embodiment of honey.

you turn your head over to glimpse at the alarm clock on his bed side table. 3:37 AM

“our sleeping schedules are so messed up” you groan turning your head back to look up at reki. he blinks, following your gaze towards the alarm clock.

“oh, i usually sleep around his time anyway” he shrugs.

“okay, but you have injuries...so you need to rest to heal” you reason while sitting up slightly, forcing reki to sit up with you. “are you still in pain? i can get you a tylenol”

“i’ll need one in the morning, but i’m fine for now”, he assures you with a grin.

you both climb under his blankets, but he wants for you to sit back against his pillows. already knowing, you hold your arms out for him and he lays between your legs, wrapping his arms around your torso. reki presses his ear to chest, taking in the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, as you smooth his hair back.

“goodnight, sweetheart” you whisper, leaving your hand in his hair.

“goodnight, baby” he murmurs into you chest, pressing a kiss there. “i love you, i can’t wait to wake up and see you tomorrow”

you chuckle tiredly. “i love you too, i’ll see you in the morning”.

notes: this was also, long as hell. i apologize! this is honestly the sappiest sh*t i’ve ever written, idk if it can get any sappier than this (it probably can, and will >:3) .

#sk8 the infinty #reki #reki kyan #reki x reader #sk8 the infinity x reader #reki x y/n #sk8 the infinity x y/n #reki kyan x reader

387 notes · View notes

thescarletwitchsapprentice · 3 years

Text

Sweaters, Snowballs, Cocoa, and Kisses (Wanda Maximoff x ADD!autistic!reader)

*Not my GIF.

Summary: (Y/N) doesn’t like extreme temperature, but Wanda really wants to play in the snow, so do the other Avengers. Along with that, Christmas is coming up. Basically a fluff fic with a small amount of angst.

Request: Not this. I’ve got one, but it’s angsty. I need fluff.

Warnings: Meltdown/shutdown, fluff, a small dash of angst, Christmas, some Hallmark-y sappiness.

Word Count: 2823

Note: Some wintertime fluff in May. Why not? And Pietro and Vision are alive because I say so.

You hate winter.

It’s always so cold and it makes you shiver even thinking about it. All of that cold snow, hypothermia, frostbite, not to mention the slippery ice. You’re so scared you’re gonna fall and break a bone. You’d much rather admire its frosty beauty from within, sipping hot cocoa and wearing comfy pajamas, cuddling up with a loved one, watching old Disney or holiday films.

Your crush, Wanda on the other hand, LOVES winter. And you love her. But shy little ole you hasn’t worked up the courage to talk to her. Every time you try, or even think about trying, you feel the butterflies of love all a-fluttery in your tummy. Your cheeks turn into red roses. (Not literally, of course. That’d be EXTREMELY concerning) You feel yourself stumbling over your words, even in your mind. Not to mention you get weak at the knees. Social skills aren’t exactly your strong suit as it is, so this extra layer is just....it makes you feel embarrassed.

And no one can blame you. Wanda caught your eye immediately when you first joined the team. She has such a softness about her, even if she seems slightly aloof at times. You’ve heard her playing guitar and singing while passing her room at the compound, and your heart just about stops whenever you do. She has the voice of an angel. Her laugh is made of sunshine and rainbows. Her voice as soft as a marshmallow pillow. So much more inviting than even the beautiful, but biting, winter wind.

Not to mention; Wanda loves wearing fluffy sweaters in December. They always look so soft and warm and.....how you long to just snuggle up against her on a couch by the fire in comfy pajamas and fluffy slippers while watching a cute holiday film or an old Disney film. Maybe even give her a cute little peck on the cheek. But shy little ole you chickens out all the time.

===============================================

And then one winter day, there are no missions. No training. Nothing.

You’re using your light powers, one of your powers, to decorate the place with Steve and Bucky when Peter bursts in with snow clothes for the whole team.

“Guys!” he exclaims excitedly. “It’s so beautiful outside. We should go out and play!”

As much as you hate the winter, his enthusiasm is contagious. Wanda looks up from her book.

“I love that idea,” she smiles. “Pietro and I used to play in the park whenever it was safe to go out in the winter.”

Her brother zooms inside, startling Peter.

“I heard my name?”

“I was just mentioning how we used to play in that park in Sokovia in the winter,” she says. “Remember? Mama and papa would make sure it was safe before taking us. Even if it was for only a few minutes, it was always so fun.”

“And that one time I hit you square in the face with a snowball?”

“I got your TV night pick after that,” she giggles.

Your mind begins to wander as Wanda and Pietro talk a bit more about winter in Sokovia. You think about just how beautiful, how adorable, how dreamy, how......perfect Wanda is. You’re so distracted that you almost don’t notice Bucky stumbling on the ladder. Luckily Pietro rushes over to stop him from falling.

“Steve, (Y/N), you two need to be more careful.”

“You’re one to talk about careful, Needy for Speedy,” you joke.

All of a sudden, you hear that cute little giggle. You look to see Wanda smiling at you. Immediately you go weak at the knees and your cheeks are the reddest they’ve ever been. Even your nose is red.

“You’ve got a little something on your face, Rudolph,” “Need for Speedy” jokes back at you, smirking as he sets Bucky down.

“What’s going on?” Nat asks as she enters dressed in casual attire.

“It’s so beautiful outside,” Peter says as he finishes reorganizing the clothing that Pietro startled out of his hands. “I was thinking we should have a snow day! You know? Go outside and play!”

“That sounds kinda cool,” Nat shrugs. “I’m down.”

“Count me in,” Bucky adds.

“I mean, it can’t be colder than the ice I was frozen in,” Steve shrugs.

“I’ll go too,” Pietro agrees.

“I talked to Mr. Stark, Dr. Banner, Clint, and Thor,” Peter tells the rest of you. “And they said they’d be up for it as well. Vision told me he’ll hang back. What about you, (Y/N)?”

“Oh,” you exclaim. “I’m....I’m not a fan of winter.”

“Ah c’mon, kid,” Steve says. “We won’t be out for too long.”

“It’s just....well, I’m sensitive to the really cold and really hot and I’m scared of slipping on the ice,” you admit sheepishly. “It’s okay. I can stay back with Vision.”

“I don’t want you to miss out, though,” Peter tells you. “You’re part of the team. I mean, Vision is too, but I don’t know how he reacts to the snow, so I’m okay with him staying behind if it means he stays safe.”

“When we come back, we could have a movie night and hot cocoa,” Wanda suggests. “One of the best parts of winter is warming up after being out in the cold. If you want, you can hold onto my arm if you’re scared of slipping when we’re walking to the park, (Y/N). And if it gets too cold for you, you can just let me know and I’ll go back to the compound with you.”

You didn’t think your face could glow any redder. You thought wrong. Wanda actually said your name. To you. And she’s offering to help you.

“I, uh....” you stammer. “Wanda, you....you really don’t....you shouldn’t waste....”

“I want to,” she insists kindly. “You seem really sweet.”

Oh Lordy Lordy-Lord....you feel like you’re about to faint. The butterflies are extra fluttery today. Why is an angel like her wasting her time on someone like you? You have no clue.

“I-I mean, if....if you’re sure....” you stammer on.

“Of course,” she smiles. “It’s like Peter said. You’re part of the team as well, and I don’t want you to miss out either.”

You nod.

Maybe a little too much.

“Okay, that’s enough, Bobbly McBobble-Head,” Pietro jokes with a knowing smirk. “Let’s get ready.”

=========================================

Soon enough, you’re all bundled up and on your way to a park just a small walk from the compound. Despite Wanda supporting you, well actually because of Wanda supporting you, you still feel like you’re slipping because you’re so weak at the knees. This leads to you apologizing to her every few seconds.

“You have nothing to apologize for, (Y/N),” she tells you gently.

How is she so patient? How is so sweet? How is she so compassionate and understanding? So many questions like this plague your mind as you slip to the park. When you arrive, everyone else is getting right to playing. Nat, Steve, Pietro, and Bucky are all in an intense snowball fight. Tony and Peter are building a snowman together. Clint and Bruce are sliding down the hill on sleds.

“I think I’m going to make some snow angels,” Wanda muses.

“But you’re an angel already.”

The phrase somehow slips out of your mouth and into her ear. Her face turns red and she giggles, her nose scrunching up.

“I was right. You are sweet, (Y/N).”

You’re like a snowman in summer, about to melt at any moment. Wanda helps you get onto solid and steady ground before heading off to make snow angels. For several moments, you just stand there. Here you are, out in the cold, because an angel of a woman wants to make sure you’re included in the team. The thought is just.....surreal.

You end up kind of just walking and standing around for a while. You’re extremely worried about how you’re going to react to the snow if you sit in it, let alone lay down in it. You end up kind of just drifting off into a walking daydream; one day, you want to work up the courage to admit your feelings to her. You’re worried about being rejected, but at the same time, you don’t want to lose that chance. There’s always a chance that she might have feelings for you as well. There’s always a chance.

“Yeah,” you say to yourself. “There’s always a cha--”

THWACK!

A stinging burst of cold hits you square in the face and brings you out of your thoughts. You find your vision obscured by snow. Immediately you go into a panic. Your chest tightens up and your breathing becomes shallow and rapid, your heart beating wildly. Tears well up in your eyes. Instinctively you drop to the ground and begin to rock as you hear footsteps rush over.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N),” you hear Bucky exclaim. “I swear I didn’t mean to hit you.”

You wince and make a small squeak as he tries to put his hand on your shoulder.

I wanna go back, I wanna go back, I wanna go back.

“Back up,” you hear Nat tell them. “Give them some space.”

“Wanna go, wanna go, wanna go,” you repeat as you rock.

Then you remember.

“And if it gets too cold for you, you can just let me know and I’ll go back to the compound with you.”

“Wanda!” you cry out, your tears almost freezing to your face. “Wanda!”

In moments she’s at your side.

“It’s going to be okay, (Y/N),” she tells you gently. “It’s going to be okay.”

You finally brush the snow off your face, but the experience has still left you feeling panicky.

“Wanna go, wanna go, wanna go,” you repeat.

“We can go back to the compound,” Wanda assures you. “Come on. I’ll take you back.”

You blink out the snow that remains in your eyes and reach a hand out to Wanda. She gently takes it and helps you up.

“(Y/N), I-” Bucky begins.

“Bucky, I don’t think this is the time,” Clint says. “They’re clearly overwhelmed.”

Wanda leads you out of the park, trying to make sure you two get back as quickly and safely as possible.

==================================

The two of you arrive and take the elevator. Wanda helps you out of your snow clothes.

“Is there anything else I can do to help?” she asks you.

“Cocoa, cocoa, cocoa,” you repeat as you take off your snowpants.

“I’ll get started on it,” Wanda tells you.

Once the snow clothes are off, you head to your room and throw off your clothes, changing into warm pajamas and fluffy slippers. You impulsively rub your arms to get the heat back in them, and you place a warm wash cloth on your face, the tears still rolling down your face.

You flop onto your bed and let the silence and warmth cover you. It’s not too hot, but it’s definitely not freezing-cold. That’s when the realization hits you. Wanda Maximoff, your crush, walked you back to the compound and is doing what she can to help you through your sensory overload. And now it’s just you and her in the compound.

Well, it’s actually you two and Vision, but he was staying back anyway.

About half an hour later, there’s a knock on the door.

“(Y/N)? I’ve got your hot cocoa ready.”

It’s Wanda. Your heart is pounding fast and the butterflies have returned. Trying not to get weak at the knees, you wobble over and open the door. There’s Wanda with a mug of hot cocoa and a plate of something. And she’s wearing one of her fluffy sweaters; this one is holiday-red and has a snowflake on the front.

“You okay?” she asks.

You nod.

“Y-yeah.”

Your cheeks turn absolutely rose-red.

“Are you sure?” she asks. “It seems like you just get so wobbly around me.”

So she has noticed!

“I....Wanda, I.....I’m....” you stammer.

She smiles kindly.

“How about we go to the lounge and talk?”

You nod again, and the two of you head to the lounge, decked out in holiday decor. Wanda sets the hot cocoa and plate, which you now see is full of Christmas cookies, on the table and sits on the couch. You wobble to a spot next to her and sits down. For a few moments, you say nothing. The butterflies are at maximum flutter by now.

“Just tell her, you blushing idiot!” you think to yourself. “Just tell her that you’re in love with her!”

You gulp.

“W-wanda?” you ask.

“Hm?” she responds curiously.

You try to gather up what to say.

“Um.....I.....I’m.....you.....with.....love.....in.....” you begin, stumbling. “For a.....been...long time.....in love....I’ve.....with you.”

Wanda smiles kindly.

“I know,” she says matter of factly.

This somehow comes as a shock to you.

“How.....?”

“I’m a telepath.”

You mentally facepalm yourself. Of course! How could you forget?

“I think....no, I’m almost certain that I’m in love with you too,” she replies. “I’ve seen you interacting with the others and you’re just so sweet and shy and adorable.”

The color returns to your face with a blush.

“You....you really are? Why didn’t you say anything?”

She shrugs.

“I guess I wanted to hear it be said in your real voice. And I suppose I was a little nervous to approach you.”

“You? Nervous? To approach me?”

Wanda nods.

“Do you want to cuddle with me?” she asks.

You nod, moving in timidly. Thankfully Wanda lets you take your time and you slowly lean in close until your face grazes her sweater. Your head immediately drops on it, beaming. It’s even softer than it looks. Wanda smiles at you as she offers you a blanket, which you graciously accept.

“So....are we, like, a thing?” you ask her.

“Do you want to be?” she asks.

You glance away, feeling shy and nod slightly.

“Yeah....I’ve been in love with you for a long time now.”

“Then we’ll be a couple.”

Your heart is beating wildly, all sorts of happy thoughts flying through your heart and your head. You and Wanda cuddle on the couch for a while when something catches your eye. You look to the ceiling, and right above you and Wanda, is a sprig of mistletoe. She notices and looks up.

“Oh!” she exclaims smiling, her face turning red.

You two look at each other, both of your faces rose-red.

“Oh my.”

You hear Vision’s voice and turn to see him entering with another plate of cookies.

“I’ve heard that mistletoe is used to ward off witches and demons. Also that lovers are to kiss under the mistletoe.”

“That’s what I’ve heard,” you shrug, trying to stay calm.

“Steve told me to hang it there,” Vision admits. “I have to wonder if he knew this would happen.”

Wanda giggles again.

“I imagine he knew something would happen.”

She glances to you.

“Do you....want to?”

Can your face get any redder? Apparently. You nod hesitantly, leaning forward, uncertain of how to approach this. After some blushing and contemplation, you decide to just go for it and give her a sweet peck on the lips. You feel fluttery and on Cloud Nine. Wanda leans in and gently places a kiss on your lips, longer than a peck. You can taste a small scent of frosting, almost as sweet as she is. Slowly she pulls back.

“I love you so much,” she replies softly with a gentle smile.

You turn your face away, but she gently guides it back.

“No need to hide,” she assures you. “I love to see your beautiful face.”

The two of you look at each other for a while.

“I...I love you even more,” you reply.

“No, I love you more,” she giggles, booping your nose.

It twitches like a little bunny rabbit’s in response.

“No, I love you more,” you smile, booping hers in return, and she also twitches it like a little bunny rabbit’s nose.

“No, I love you more.”

“I love you to the ends of the earth.”

“I love you to the moon and back.”

“I love you to the moon and back times one-hundred.”

“I love you to the moon and back times one-thousand!”

“I love you to the moon and back times one-million!”

“I love you to Pluto and back times one-billion!”

“I love you to the ends of the multiverse and beyond!”

This goes on for some time. Sure, it’s sappy, but you love it. You two end up in a fit of giggles and nose-booping before turning on some classic Disney films and cuddling up close. By the time the others return, you and Wanda are falling asleep to The Winnie-the-Pooh Movie with you leaning your head on her sweater and smiling.

The others may know that you and Wanda are a thing. But how you two became a couple? That’s between you and her.

And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#fluff #avengers fluff #avengers x reader fluff #avengers x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x autistic!reader #wanda maximoff x adhd!reader #wanda maximoff x adhd!autistic!reader #scarlet witch #cute #marvel imagine #cute marvel #avengers cute #so much fluff

293 notes · View notes

serendipityseulgi · 4 years

Text

8 Ways of Love;

— park seonghwa

according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:

･*:༅｡ the one known as pragma, the enduring love.

aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find.

8 ways of love series; version i

A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between.

love catalyst: the subconscious.

At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.

“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.

“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.

“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.

“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.

“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.”

“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”

Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.

After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs.

“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body.

Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox.

The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.

“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.

Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.

For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.

At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.

“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.

“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”

“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.

“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you.

His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life.

When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.

“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed.

Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.

“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.

You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.

“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”

“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”

“Like what?!”

“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.

“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”

“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.

You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.

“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.

“Oh god, you still remember that?”

Of course you do.

“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.”

He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend.

“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you.

“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”

His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”

“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.

“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh.

You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.

“What if we break up... like eventually?”

You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”

“That easy?”

“That easy.” you nod.

“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.

“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend.

In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.

Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.

At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time.

seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm

y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :(

plsssssss

i’m sorry

can u let me come over and talk to u

Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.

You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.

you; delivered 4:26 pm

i’m mad at u.

seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm

you; delivered 4:27 pm

can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me

seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm

ouch.

Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.

you; delivered 4:28 pm

ur actually annoying

seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm

ya ik i am

but yk what i’m not

someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them

so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize

stop being a meanie and let me say sorry

Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way.

You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.

“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”

“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!” he panics.

“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”

“That wasn’t my intention-”

“Were you trying to make me mad?”

“No, y/n.”

“Did you do it to make me jealous?”

“No!”

“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”

“I don’t know, okay!”

“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong.

“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”

Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.

“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don’t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”

Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”

“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.

“Do you mean it?” you ask.

He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.

“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.

“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.

“Me too.”

“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.” he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.

“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”

“Okay.”

And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.

So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.

At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.

“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.

“Seonghwa...”

“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.

Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.

“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.

“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.

“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.

“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.

You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.

“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.

“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving.

You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him.

“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”

Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.

You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.

You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.

“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before.

He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.

“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.

“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.

And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.

You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.

It felt like home.

His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.

Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell.

“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.

He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”

“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss.

"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.

You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips.

“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust.

And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy.

“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”

You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you.

And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.

“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you.

So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him.

At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.

You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.

While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another.

Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.

Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.

The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates.

But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.

You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.

“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his.

“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry.

“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement.

You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.

You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.

“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.

“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”

“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.

“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.

You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”

Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.

“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.

You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.

You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.

At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half.

Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.

And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.

“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.

“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture.

“I missed you mom.” you say.

“And I missed you even more.”

You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.

“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.

“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.

“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.

“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.

“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”

“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.

After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement.

“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.

“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.

“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.

“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.

And you meant it, truly.

You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him.

You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules.

Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.

“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.

“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.

“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.

As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.

You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.

But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.

On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much.

Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him.

You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.

And then you see him.

His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.

“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly.

“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.

“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”

“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.

“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.

“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.

“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.

“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”

“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.

You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.

“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.

“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.

“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.

“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”

“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.

“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.

“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.

“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.

“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.

“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her.

Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.

Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation.

Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too.

Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.

“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.

“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.

“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.

“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees.

“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.

“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it.

But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another.

This was a good thing.

At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.

“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?”

“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”

His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.

Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another.

The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you.

And the kind of love that’s okay with it.

At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.

It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.

It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.

“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.

“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.

“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused.

“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.

“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”

“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.

You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.

The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home.

“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you.

“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.

“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.

“Wait, you and Rosé...”

He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”

“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”

You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”

“That’s good.” he smiles softly.

“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.

“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.

When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.

“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table.

The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories.

After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup.

“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving.

“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.

“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”

“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.

A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.

“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.

“Of course.”

“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”

You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.

“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.

“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.

“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.

When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.

“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.

“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.

You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.

“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.

Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia.

“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.

“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.”

Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home.

“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.

“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”

You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.

It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire.

Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.

The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you.

The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.

It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.

You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time.

“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”

So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.

It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.

It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.

The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.

You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.

“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.

“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.

“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.

“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly.

He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.

“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”

Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.

“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit.

He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.

“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.

“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”

It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.

“You don’t have to then.” he states.

“I don’t?”

“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.

And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.

You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips.

“Okay, let’s get back together.”

So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.

And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.

And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.

And you finally marry him.

"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.”

“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.”

“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”

You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.

Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember.

You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.

You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.

And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.

When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”

“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.

"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?”

“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.

"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”

“I do.” you respond beaming.

"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.

“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.”

As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another.

“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.

“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.

“I love you so much.” you say.

“And I love you even more.” he returns.

So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time.

And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.

LA FIN.

590 notes · View notes

heliotropehotch · 3 years

Text

coffee (pt.2) - a.h. x gn!reader

Request: coffee pt2? - @weasleylovers

a/n: i don’t really know what this is lmao i kinda hate it i just wanted to give long lost lovers some fluff. next will be shrike pt 2 and my first ever hotch smut >:) thanks to @yes-sir-hotchner for existing <3

Masterlist

Part One

author: abby <3

words: 1379

warnings/content: none? date night at a restaurant? kissing? fluff

Y/N’s fingers glided carefully along the pages of the file on their desk in front of them. The other hand’s fingers pressed into their eyebrows in an attempt to smooth the focused crease that rested between them. The haze of the morning glazed over their eyes and no matter how hard they tried to focus on the words that drifted around, but their mind was clouded with memories from the previous case.

A huff left their mouth as they once again caught the small grin crossing their own face. Pushed down old feelings had now resurfaced and it was just as frustrating as before.

“Y/N-” Agent Grant knocked on the frame of the open door to their office, a small smirk lying on her face. She stepped past the threshold, a paper cup of coffee pressed into her palm. “You have a delivery.”

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion, hand reaching across the desk to take the cup. A sticky note laid on the lid. Dinner tonight? - A. Their lips folded between their teeth in an attempt to conceal the smile threatening to break.

Suze huffed out a laugh turning to walk back out. “Call me after you’re done with him, we’re gonna have a lot to talk about.”

The cell phone in their pocket started ringing as the door shut. Y/N pulled it out, a sigh ready to leave their lips until they noticed the contact name. There was no use in hiding the chuckled now.

“You know, if you wanted to get dinner so bad, you could have just texted,” the corners of their mouth pulled up into a teasing smile, even though he couldn’t see.

“Yeah,” his deep chuckle reverberated through the speaker, and through their bones. “But where’s the romance in that?”

Y/N paused in their seat, the pen they had been messing with hung still in the air. They breathed into the phone, “Romance?”

A pause, a silence was louder than the words they had been saying before, until he answered. “...Yeah. Romance.”

He could hear their smile, could almost see the brightness of it, when they answered in kind. “What were you thinking?”

“Nope,” he laughed, hearing them almost whine. “That’s a surprise. I’ll pick you up at 7?”

“Aaron-” his heart thrummed in his chest like it always did when they said his name. “I need to know how I should dress.”

“No, you don’t, Y/N/N,” he smiled softer now. “You’ll be perfect in anything.”

“Oh hush,” they chuckled. “I’ll see you tonight Aar.”

“See you.”

~~~~~~~~~

Y/N paced nervously at their front door. Aaron was familiar, comfortable. Someone they knew they could trust in the end of all things. But this was uncharted territory. It was the fact that it was Aaron. He was incomparable in their eyes, a love so near to their heart that it was sure to be there until the day they died.

The night was unsure. His plans had stayed hidden as a secret, but Y/N was only trying to figure out what it meant, what everything had meant since they had held onto each other’s hands in the coffee shop. They had some idea of what he held for them some years back, before BAU, before… everything. But that didn’t mean the same was felt now, now that they could both do something about it.

An abrupt knock against the door caused them to nearly jump out of their skin. The thought of simply ignoring it crossed their mind, but they had to push down their anxiety eventually. A breath, a pause with their hand on the door handle, before the door swayed open.

A beat of silence passed as they took each other in. Aaron stood more casual than he had at the police station. He wore dark jeans, with a dark button up showing more skin than his usual suit and tie did. They could have melted then and there.

“Y/N, you look incred-”

“Is this a date?” Aaron blinked back his shock, mouth struggling to find words. “Because I’d be happy if it was, but I’d also be okay if it wasn’t. And I know you said ‘romantic’ earlier but I wasn’t sure if you actually meant that or if you were just being funny and I’d really like it to be a date but if it’s not then I don’t wanna make things weird-”

Aaron’s hands moved to their cheeks, pressing his lips to their forehead. “Sweetheart,” he breathed out the sentiment, Y/N’s heart racing at the touch. “This was supposed to be a date. But if you would rather it not be then it doesn’t have to be.”

Their face melted into a sappy smile, adoring the man standing in front of them. “Of course I want it to be a date, Aaron.”

He smiled widely, taking a step back from their body. He held out hand, which Y/N promptly intertwined their fingers with. “Then let’s go.”

~~~~~~

“Aaron,” he hummed in response as he parked the car. “Are we reminiscing tonight?”

He chuckled, stepping out of the car and smoothing his pants. “I figured it had been too long since we had been back here together.”

Y/N smiled softly, remembering the nights Aaron would spend with them at this restaurant, laughing at their superiors and fellow trainees. “It has been too long.”

Everything felt like deja vu. They had done this a thousand times, sitting in the booths and ordering food while they tried to relax from their day and talked out their frustrations.

“I feel like we got into a time machine,” Y/N chuckled, as they finished their meal. “It feels like nothing’s changed.”

Aaron tentatively reached across the table, palm up, which they took with a sweet smile. “I hope some things have changed.”

They squeezed his fingers in his, a sign of admiration on their part. “Only for the better.”

The pair talked about jobs, about Jack, about Y/N’s dog they affectionately named Pilot. It was like no time had passed, like the two had been together since the day they had been apart.

Now walking down the sidewalk, hand in hand, Y/N could feel the pieces falling into place. The feelings they had kept to themselves as much as they could, were pushing past any kind of barrier.

He led you to your door, a hesitant hand resting on their back. “I’m glad we got to do this, Y/N. If we’re being honest, I’ve had feelings for you since we first met. Things were just complicated back then and I-”

Y/N slid their hands up his chest, palms coming to meet his cheeks. Reaching up, they pressed their lips to Aaron’s forehead, a smile forming on the kiss. They pulled away, bodies staying close together, but far enough to look into his eyes. The spoke softly, eyes trying to not flicker to his lips, “Ditto.”

His eyes had less discipline than theirs, a soft smile resting on his lips and his gaze flickered to their lips. His hands wrapped around their waist as he pulled them back into his body.

Kissing Aaron Hotchner was something to be sure of. His movements were clear, as his tongue swept against their lower lip, asking for entry. Y/N’s arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer and winding their fingers in the hair on the nape of his neck. His arms tightened around their waist, humming as their body pressed fully into his. He tasted like mint and coffee.

Their hearts pounded in their chest as they pulled away to catch their breaths, forehead’s resting against each other’s. Heavy breaths filled the small space between them. Y/N’s hands moved against his neck as they spoke softly, not wanting to disturbed the electrified space that settled between them. “Do you want to come in for some coffee?”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, smiling.

They smiled, reluctantly stepping away from him to enter their apartment. They tugged his hand inside and giggles sounded as the door closed with the weight of their bodies against it.

Aaron had decided long ago that no amount of caffeine could match the rush he felt in their arms.

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner x gn!reader #gn!reader

88 notes · View notes

6sakusa · 4 years

Text

‘8 hours’ part 2, suna rintarō.

a/n : here’s part two of 8 hours since it was highly requested <33

warnings: angst, implications of toxic relationship, vomiting.

part 3

your eyes glazed over your phone in the dead of the night as you heard the familiar buzzing sound ring throughout the room, forcing your eyes open. you weren’t exactly sleeping and you hadn’t been for the past two weeks since you had walked out on your now ex-boyfriend suna rintarō. you’d often found yourself hoping- no, praying that he was doing okay, that he wouldn’t be missing you too much and that he was holding up well. but night after night you’d find that this wasn’t the case as he’d consistently spam text or call your phone. and day after day you would ignore his messages, never bothering to call back.

this time they read ‘please talk to me, i just want to hear your voice one more time.’ and you could swear you heard your heart break in your chest. you hated not being around suna, not being able to bathe in his warmth as he pulled you closer against the bed. not being able to pester him into doing his makeup out of pure entertainment. not having him teach you how to play call of duty on his ps4. not being able to feel his lips against yours. not being able to run your fingers through his hair. all things considered you were sure that hell existed, because you were living in it.

your stomach ached dully as you struggled to swallow the lump in your throat, fighting the urge to pick up the phone and tell him every single emotion going through your head right now. how much you loved him and how badly you missed him. but alas, you knew what was better for the two of you to be apart even though the distance made you feel like you were splitting in two, it was as if one half of your soul had been torn away from you leaving a lifeless void, an abyss that was so wide you were sure it would never be filled.

you sighed grabbing your phone, biting down on your lip as you clicked down on your now ex-boyfriends contact. your breath hitched as your eyes fixated on the block button, your fingers visibly hesitating as you knew this would truly mean the end as you reminisced on your relationship with the male.

two years ago.

“here, this is the drink you like right?” suna approached you, the both of you had gone shopping in the mall after school together. his excuse was he needed to buy new kneepads and didn’t want to go alone but truly he was asking you to spend some quality time together. even though the two of you had been dating since your second year of high school and you were here with him, in your third, he still remained hesitant in expressing his feelings. this meant that you would usually initiate romance including dates.

you turned to him with a smile, inspecting the contents of the beverage as you realised he’d memorised your favourite starbucks order and you couldn’t help but chuckle along with your words of thank you. “what’s so funny?” he deadpanned knowing that you were mocking him for being some what sappy, he didn’t mind though. the truth was he was very sappy and very in love with you, regardless of if he would openly admit it or not.

“you’re just so cute rin.” you leaned in wrapping your arms around his neck, giggling as his face visibly flustered a light shade of pink. in all honesty, it wasn’t that he was necessarily nervous around you, he was more starstruck. everytime you did the littlest things he couldn’t believe that you were his. often he had wondered how he’d gotten so lucky to find you, the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen with a personality fit for his own and a shared sense of humour and interests. you were his whole world.

in a desperate attempt to divert the attention off of him he turned to peer into the window of the shop you were looking into before he had arrived. “do you like them?” he was referring to the variation of rings on display with prices that ranged from one hundred to seven thousand. some were decorated with different types of crystals and rocks and even diamonds which drove the price up by a mile. “they’re beautiful.” you whispered as your eyes glazed over the collection.

“i’ll get you one someday when i marry you.” the words slipped out of his mouth. it wasn’t his intention to think outloud but when he was around you it was almost as if he couldn’t function properly. every aspect of you was just so breathtaking to him and he couldn’t even coordinate himself properly.

you flaunted one of the biggest smiles he’d ever seen from you as you registered his words, turning to face him you brought him into an embrace so full of love that suna could feel your very emotions in that moment.

“promise me.” your voice was muffled against the fabric against his chest but he heard those two words distinctly as ever. “i promise i’ll buy one.” he chuckled against your hair, marvelling in the feeling of every strand that went between his fingers as he memorised the name of the store ‘lacrimosa’. “no, that’s not what i meant.” you pulled away, the atmosphere around the two of you growing more serious as you looked him in the eye.

“promise me you’ll marry me.”

“i promise.”

tears brimmed in your eyes at the memory, the strings of your heart were being toyed with every single time you saw his face in your mind. you weren’t sure which one of you had broke the promise, was it him for driving you away out of neglect or was it you for finally ending things? it wasn’t something that you wanted to ponder over but you couldn’t help but let your mind run wild.

you gritted your teeth, attempting to knock the thoughs out of your mind. your stomach began to twist and you grew nauseous contemplating on how the rest of your life would be without the boy you’d been in a relationship with for three years. you were sure he’d be losing his mind if he could see you now, legs weak as you ran to the bathroom, one arm clutching your stomach as the other held up your hair, body growing limp as you were sprawled out over your sink, violently vomiting with an aching throat.

this was probably the worst time to be alone, tears pricked your eyes as you wished someone, anyone.. suna could be here right now. and your wishes were granted, perhaps it wasn’t the particular person you wanted but your neighbor knocking on your door after hearing your struggle was sufficient enough for you.

you’d known her ever since you’d moved in as she greeted you with a freshly baked tray of cookies and her entire life story accompanied by a late night glass of wine. and her friend status was paying off right now as she barged into your apartment after you hadn’t replied, unable to find the strength to, if only you could voice it you could, how much you appreciated your neighbor akari suzuki.

“y/n? are you in here?” she rushed into your bedroom but was met with it empty and her wondering if she was just hearing things. but surely you wouldn’t leave your front door unlocked if you weren’t home? you weren’t usually forgetful but then again your area did have a low crime rate so it wasn’t a necessity per say. however she still contemplated over the different things that could’ve got you so distracted that you’d forget such a simplistic task.

she turned the corner of your corridor bursting into your bathroom as your eyes followed her lazily, her jaw dropped at the sight of you. “y/n whats going on? are you okay?” she asked before glancing at your sink and the realisation of how silly that question was slapped her hard and fast in the face. “oh my god.” she rushed to your side, pulling you backwards so you could pour your weight onto her instead of struggling to stay upright.

“can you walk? come, i’ll take you to the hospital.” she panicked, stabilising your body with hers at your lack of responses. even though you could hear her talking her voice was just so muffled in your mind, you couldn’t distinctly understand what she was saying, and at this point you were barely on grips with reality. but one thing you did understand is how much you appreciated akari indeed.

a/n: heYY my loves <3 originally i hadn’t necessarily planned to write a part two for this piece, but since you guys wanted one i have delivered. now there’s definitely going to be more than two parts and i’m kinda considering turning this into a mini series but i’m not sure yet.

204 notes · View notes

laurenairay · 4 years

Text

Make Me a Fool - T. Barrie

Summary: Sofia is tired of going on dates with the wrong guys - when a meet-cute with Tyson turns into only friendship, will she ever have anything more than that?

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: meet-cute, fluff, pining, friends to lovers, some bad language

A/N: this is my first OC in a published fic! (I have another in a WIP). Thank you to @danglesnipecelly and @itsbadgerbadgermushroom for their encouragement in trying this 😘 and also tagging @texanstarslove and @broadstbroskis for just genuinely being sweethearts 💚

~~~

The Dating World hadn’t exactly been an easy ride for Sofia. No matter where she met guys – whether it was through dating apps, blind date recommendations from mutual friends, or even that cute guy she met at the coffee shop – every single one had turned out to be no good. They were all wrong for so many reasons, whether that was a playboy with multiple girls on the go, a guy who was only actually after sex, someone that was so self-centered that she barely got a word in edgeways, or there was simply no spark.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t want these dates to work – Sofia loved love. Her parents had met in high school and had been together happily in love ever since. Sure, she knew that was rare, but to her they were absolute couple goals. All she wanted was to love someone and be loved in return, just like her parents loved each other. Was that really so much to ask for?

Sofia certainly didn’t think so.

Another Friday night alone rolled around, and the only thing Sofia wanted was to get a pint of ice-cream and watch some sappy movies. Maybe while giving herself a pedicure and wearing a facemask. Who didn’t love a pamper night? So with her wavy brown hair piled on top of her head, blue eyes scrubbed free of make-up, and wearing her glasses instead of her usual contact lenses, Sofia headed out for her ice-cream. There were a fair few people in the grocery store when she arrived including one guy by the ice-cream freezer. Huh, a very cute guy. Luckily she was still wearing a bra. No, not the time. She was here for ice-cream, and ice-cream only.

As she walked up to him though, Sofia noticed that he seemed to be desperately looking for something – a specific flavour? – but with no luck. Yep, there was the desperate whimper of frustration. Time to step in; this was her territory.

“You okay there bud?” Sofia asked, frowning.

The guy flinched slightly but turned to face her with a frustrated expression. Oh wow he was beautiful – square jaw, gorgeous brown eyes, big broad shoulders, thick arms…and those curls! Wait, no, focus.

“No, I’m not. I just moved here for work and everything is shit and I just wanted my favourite flavour ice-cream but they don’t have it and I just…ugh!”

The guy trailed off, running a shaky hand through his messy curls. Oh wow, she hadn’t been expecting that. Nevertheless…

“Sorry, you didn’t need to know all that. It’s just been a really bad week,” he grimaced, trying to force a smile.

Poor guy. Well, she could definitely relate to comfort eating after a bad week, that was for sure. So Sofia smiled kindly back, shaking her head. “Please don’t apologise! We all have shitty weeks,”

The guy laughed, but it still sounded a little broken. Time to step up her game.

“Maybe I can suggest an alternative? I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a regular at this particular freezer,” she said, wearing a hopeful smile.

This seemed to crack a genuine smile. “Sure, be my guest,” he nodded, “I’m Tyson, by the way,”

Well it was a start. “I’m Sofia. Nice to meet you!”

Tyson smiled shyly at her, seeming a little hesitant.

Sofia dramatically rolled her head from side to side, stretched her arms over her head and bounced a few times on the spot as if warming up, earning an outright giggle from Tyson, making her grin at him. Much better.

“Okay, cherry vanilla sweetheart is okay, banana toffee treat is a weirdly interesting combination, I’m a huge fan of the fudgy chocolate brownie, and the caramel swirl is to die for. But my absolute favourite is the peanut butter chocolate heaven. If you like Reese’s chocolate, then you’ll love this one,” she listed, pointing to the different shelves.

What? Sofia took her ice-cream seriously – there was nothing wrong with that.

Tyson looked a little stunned, but that quickly turned into a brilliant smile, making Sofia’s breath catch in her throat. “The peanut butter chocolate one sounds pretty good actually. Exactly what I need,”

“Happy to help,” Sofia shrugged, trying to play it cool as she passed him a carton of it, as well as grabbing one for herself.

“Hey, um….”

Sofia looked up at Tyson as he trailed off, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. What?

“This is a kinda weird to ask, and I swear I’m not a creep, but I’m new in town and I really don’t know the best places in town to get ice-cream from so-”

“Would you like my number?” Sofia asked, trying not to giggle at his rambling, “for ice-cream related emergencies?”

Tyson’s smile seemed to dim slightly, but he nodded so Sofia figured that was what he wanted to ask her. That was what he wanted, right?

“Yeah, exactly,” he murmured, “I could really use a friend,”

Sofia hoped her smile hadn’t dimmed as well when she passed her phone to him. Friend. Why did that feel weird?

When he passed her phone back with his saved number in it, Sofia sent him a quick message of ‘Hey, it’s Sofia :)’, earning a smile from him as his phone lit up.

“I’ll see you again soon, ice-cream friend?” he asked, voice full of hope.

She couldn’t help but to giggle, nodding her agreement. “Yeah I’d like that Tyson,” she said, smiling at him.

If he wanted friendship, then she could and would give it to him.

The friendship that blossomed between Tyson and Sofia was genuine and sweet. He’d texted her the next morning, just a picture of the empty carton and a thumbs up – and she laughed as she sent back the exact same thing. And from there they were texting pretty much every day, Sofia getting to know exactly how sweet and kind and caring Tyson was. They started hanging out in person too, coffee runs and lunches and late-night dinners, to the point where they had a standing movie night (with ice-cream!) every Friday when Tyson didn’t have a game – and hadn’t that been a surprise, finding out that he played in the NHL. He had admitted that ice-cream wasn’t even remotely in his diet plan at all, but Sofia obviously wasn’t going to tell anyone – and besides, Tyson deserved a cheat treat every now and again, especially with how hard he was working and playing.

Over less than two months, Tyson quickly became one of her best friends. He was just so easy to talk to, and he knew exactly how to make her smile when she was having a bad day – not to mention how amazing his hugs were. And she knew that she was a huge support for him in his new city. She always answered the phone while he was on roadtrips so he could hear a friendly voice, never judging for anything. Sofia knew that she gave him a break from the intensity of his hockey life. She just…liked him, okay? He was such a good person, and really quite her ideal guy – but he only wanted and needed a friend, so that’s what she was determined to be for him. He deserved that much at least.

A few more months passed into their friendship, and it was a week into the New Year where their Fridays lined up perfectly, so Sofia was on her way over to Tyson’s with a couple of bottles of decent white wine. He was supplying the ice-cream this time, but damn it she needed the wine too. Yesterday night she went on her third date with a cute guy she’d been really hopeful about, but, well…

“He said what?” Tyson gasped, his jaw dropping.

“That he wanted to fool around before we went any further, and if I didn’t want to then he couldn’t see a future for us,” Sofia groaned.

“Please tell me you kicked his ass to the curb,” Tyson scowled.

“You’re damn right I did,” Sofia grumbled, taking a big gulp of her wine.

Tyson took a big gulp of wine in solidarity, staring at her with his big brown eyes wide with disbelief. But then Sofia couldn’t help but sigh.

“Why do my dates always end up going so badly? Is there something wrong with me?” Sofia asked, pouting.

Was there? Had she been the problem all along? But Tyson immediately shook his head.

“No, absolutely not,” he said firmly

As much as the conviction in his words made her heart skip a beat, she sighed again.

“Tyson…”

“Nope, I won’t have you talk about yourself like that,” Tyson interrupted, frowning at her, “These guys you try to date are the problem, not you. Ethan…Easton…Evan…whatever his name was, you are worth so much more than that. You’re kind, funny, smart, caring and beautiful, and any guy would be lucky to have you in their life,”

Any guy, huh? Sofia felt tears spring to her blue eyes, so she quickly wiped them away, but not before Tyson saw.

“Hey, c’mere,” he murmured, beckoning her towards him.

Sofia shuffled down the sofa willingly, curling into Tyson’s side and slumping her head against his chest. She immediately relaxed as his arm wound around her waist.

“It’s okay to be a romantic, yeah? It’s not a bad thing that you want to genuinely fall in love. I know I do,” Tyson said softly.

Of course he wanted to fall in love as well. Of course.

“Thanks Tys. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life,” Sofia sighed, squeezing his hand where it rested on her hip.

Tyson just hummed his agreement, pressing a kiss to her wavy hair, making Sofia smile sadly. Of all the guys she couldn’t have, why did Tyson have to be one of them? She couldn’t see Tyson’s sad smile in return though.

“Ice-cream and 10 Things I Hate About You?” Tyson asked.

“Yes please, I need Heath Ledger in my life,” Sofia nodded, sniffing as she sat upright.

Tyson laughed, wiping her cheeks dry of the tears she didn’t know had fallen. “There, still beautiful,”

Why did he have to make things so difficult?

Love was a funny thing. It could be fleeting, passing like a ship in the night, or even all-consuming, like a wildfire with no hope until it burned out on its own. The more time that Sofia spent with Tyson, the harder she fell for him, and the harder it was for her to pretend that she was okay just being friends. No matter how many first dates she went on, how many guys she hoped to move on from him with, nothing worked. The very first moment they’d met when she’d gone out of her way to make him laugh as she recommended him ice-cream, she knew she was done for. But how could she tell him how she felt? He’d literally asked for her phone number to be his new friend in a new city, nothing more. And there was no way she was ruining the incredible friendship that they’d built between them, not a chance. There was no way she could feel anything but empty if he was no longer in her life, and she couldn’t risk losing him. She wouldn’t.

But she didn’t know what to do.

What Sofia didn’t know was that Tyson felt exactly the same. The moment he’d met her, he was gone. She was beautiful – that much was obvious as soon as he saw her – sparkling blue eyes, that amazing wavy brown hair he always wanted to run his fingers through, and the warmest most genuine smile he’d ever seen. But it was her heart that dazzled him on that first night – instead of walking away from his crazy mid-breakdown frantic self, she’d offered to help him and made him laugh. She’d gone above and beyond to make him feel better, and he’d never met anyone like her before. Like an idiot though, he’d completely messed up asking her out on a date, and instead she’d given him her number to be his friend in this new city. Only his friend.

Hell, he knew she wasn’t interested in him romantically – she went on enough dates to show him that he didn’t stand a chance. How could he? He knew he was nowhere near good enough for her as a life partner. Even though he’d told Nate (wonderful oblivious emotionally-useless Nate) how hopeless he felt in their weekly phonecalls, Nate kept telling him to take a chance on Sofia, that Sofia would feel the same as him, Tyson knew Nate was wrong. But there was no way he could give up having her in his life, no matter how much it hurt him to be second to those stupid guys she dated. So he did his best to be the absolute best friend she could possibly need, no matter how hard it was.

Tyson only wished she could see him as more.

“Oh god, why did I drink so much?” Sofia groaned.

Tyson giggled as she slumped against his front door as he closed it, just about able to kick her heels off her feet. “I told you not to do shots with the Swedes, but you didn’t listen,”

Sofia whined, not wanting to admit that he was right. Even though he was right. Tyson smiled fondly at her, shaking his head as he kicked off his own shoes.

“I just wanted your teammates to like me,” she grumbled.

“They already do, sweetheart. They love you as much as I do,”

Tyson froze at the words that spilled from his lips, his heart skipping a beat at the smile that spread across her lips.

“Sweetheart?” Sofia grinned.

Tyson let out a shaky breath. The deep blush that spread across his face made Sofia laugh, a little giddiness rushing through her body along with the alcohol.

“Let’s get you some water,” Tyson grumbled.

Sofia just laughed again, skipping along behind him to the kitchen. It had been a last minute invite to drinks with his team this Friday night (she’d initially hoped to save the Friday night for a second date with a guy from Hinge that she had been hopeful about, but their first date on Tuesday had been so dry and dull), but Sofia had still had a brilliant time. She knew that Tyson knew that she had been disappointed with her date this week, so it had been really sweet of him to invite her out to cheer her up. And he’d even called her sweetheart! A girl could dream, right? Tyson kept his back to her as he reached for a glass in the cupboard and pulled out a jug of filtered water from the fridge, but Sofia just hopped up on the island counter to watch him, happily swinging her legs.

She’d had a great evening with one of her favourite people and now she was still hanging out with him – what more could she want?

“Here, why don’t you drink this while I get you something comfy to wear?” Tyson murmured, breaking her out of her thoughts as he pressed the cold glass of water into her hand.

“Thanks Tys,” she said, smiling, “you’re the best,”

He smiled shyly at her, still blushing slightly, before he left the room to get her some clothes. Sofia sipped on the water as she waited to Tyson to return, still swinging her legs with a smile on her face. She knew she probably shouldn’t have had so many shots tonight, but it had just been such a fun atmosphere. Sofia definitely wasn’t the only one drinking that much (at least, she wasn’t the guy that had to be carried out to an uber) – and she knew that Tyson was watching out for her, so she knew she was able to relax and just have fun. He made her feel safe, that she could just be herself without worrying, and tonight at the bar she’d had an amazing time.

The hangover tomorrow would be worth it.

“Okay, some comfy shorts and a tshirt for you,” Tyson announced, walking back in the room, dressed in sweatpants and an old tshirt now instead of his nice shirt and jeans.

“Ooh gimme,” Sofia grinned, hopping off the counter.

Tyson smiled fondly at her, taking the glass from her hand in exchange for the clothing. Then she frowned at him, earning a frown back. “What’s wrong?”

“The zipper on this dress always sticks and all the vodka will not help – will you unzip me?” Sofia asked, eyes wide and pleading.

Something inside her was telling her that this was a stupid idea, such a stupid thing to ask, but the remaining alcohol coursing through her veins drowned that out. But when Tyson just stood there in silence, his mouth slightly open and his eyes glazed, she felt a niggle of doubt start to creep in. What was she doing, asking him to unzip her? Stupid.

“Forget it, I’ll just stay in this dress,” Sofia mumbled.

“No!”

Sofia flinched at his shout, making him wince.

“I’ll unzip you, it’s fine,” Tyson insisted, “turn around?”

Sofia nodded, biting her lip as soon as her back was facing him, swallowing heavily as she heard him take a shaky breath. She jumped slightly as his fingers brushed the top of her spine, unable to stop her heart beating faster as he slowly unzipped her dress. What had she been thinking, asking him to unzip her? Now she’d never forget the feeling of him standing so close, the touch of his fingers on the small of her back, no matter that she was still a little tipsy.

“There, all done,” Tyson said, voice a little shaky, “I’ll go put a movie on, yeah?”

Sofia just nodded, watching in silence as he walked away. Damn it. She took a deep breath, letting her dress drop to the floor with her eyes briefly closed, before shaking herself out of it and quickly unhooking her bra, dropping that to the floor too. Once she’d pulled on his clothes over her panties (even his laundry detergent smelled amazing), she dumped her discarded clothes onto the kitchen counter and headed into the living room to join him. He’d turned off all but one floor lamp, leaving the room with a low glow, nice and cosy. Tyson looked up at her with a smile, settling her nerves. Whatever, it had just been a weird moment, that was all.

“Pretty Woman?” he suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” she nodded.

He lifted his arm, making her grin and sit down, snuggling into his side, kicking her legs up next to his on the ottoman.

“Comfy?” he murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Yeah, press play,” she nodded, settling into his hold.

It can’t have been more than 30 minutes before Sofia felt a little heavier in his arms, so Tyson looked down – sure enough, Sofia was fast asleep in his arms. He swallowed heavily as he watched her peaceful face, mind flashing back to the kitchen moment earlier. Unzipping her dress had felt so intimate, especially when his fingers touched the small of her back, and now she was lying in his arms? How was his heart supposed to cope with this? This was everything he wanted…and it wasn’t real. It wasn’t going to last. But…surely it wasn’t a bad thing if he just let her continue sleeping? She looked so sweet, so cosy, and he didn’t want to disturb her. So instead, he just switched the movie off, tossing the remote onto the coffee table before snagging the blanket off the back of the sofa and gently throwing it over the two of them. Their legs were already kicked up on the ottoman after all; he could sleep like this. Luckily she’d already been wearing her glasses tonight rather than her contacts, so at least he didn’t have to worry about waking her up to take them out – he just gently pulled them off her face and tossed them to the other end of the sofa. No point in waking her up. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, relaxing back into the cushions, and closed his eyes.

He could pretend for one night, right?

Sofia blinked her eyes open slowly, groaning as she (blurrily) saw that it was 5am from the clock on the wall. They hadn’t even turned off the floor lamp…but the tv was off and there was a blanket over her. Over them. And Tyson had even taken off her glasses for her. Oh wow. She’d fallen asleep on Tyson, and he hadn’t moved her? She lifted her head from Tyson’s chest, looking at his sleeping face with a soft smile. He was so handsome, wasn’t he? Her heart ached a little at the gentle expression on his face, soft and kind even in sleep. Wow. And it was so nice being held in his arms, the two of them having shifted a little to curl around each other in their sleep, her arm over his waist with both of his around her. She could stay like this for a little longer, right? He was so warm, and it just felt so right…

She could pretend for one night, right?

The next few weeks following the sofa-sleepover weren’t quite as smooth and easy as Sofia had hoped. It’s not that it was particularly awkward, oh no, and there definitely wasn’t a bad vibe between her and Tyson…it was just different. Something felt different between them – she didn’t know if it was because she knew what it felt like to sleep wrapped up in his arms, or the fact that he had demonstrated (even more so than usual) just how kind and caring he truly was, but it was something. And she knew Tyson was the same, because every now and again he would get a strange expression on his face before he shook it off and carried on as usual with a smile.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, and it was frustrating as hell. It was almost like being in limbo, that weird stage that wasn’t quite friendship anymore, but definitely wasn’t anything more. And Sofia was getting so tired of it. She knew she was going to have to tell him sooner rather than later – things were too off for her not to. Because at this rate, she was just going to make herself devastatingly miserable, and she had more respect for herself than that. She wasn’t a fool, and she wasn’t going to start acting like one now.

It was going to have to be all or nothing. But damn if that wasn’t the scariest thing Sofia had ever felt. And she had put it off every time she’d seen him since that night, unable to speak the words that would change everything. It was just so hard, faced with the potential of losing him for good. She hadn’t even been on any dates at all over the past few weeks, unable to even think of anyone that wasn’t him, which was so outside of her usual self that even her colleagues had noticed.

Speaking of…

Tonight she was out at a bar with some of her friends from work. It wasn’t a big weekend booze-up, just a casual couple of drinks after work mid-week – Sofia was only planning on having a couple of glasses of wine as she was heading out to dinner with Tyson afterwards. All she knew was that he had a phone call scheduled for something to do with his work, so they’d decided to meet at the bar first before heading out for food. Sofia was all glammed up though, contact lenses in and blue eyes surrounded by a subtle smoky-eye, with a cute new little black lace dress hugging her curves. She’d gotten ready in the bathrooms at work with a couple of the other ladies she worked with (they were staying out for drinks after she left) so at least she wasn’t the only one. She felt beautiful, the confidence shining through in her smile, and she knew she’d turned heads as she walked into the bar with her colleagues.

Maybe tonight was the night. Hah. Maybe not.

“And another glass of Sauvignon Blanc for you, Sofia!”

Sofia smiled as her friend passed her the new wine glass, nodding her head in thanks. She needed to stay out of her thoughts, wary of being lost in them, especially as she was seeing Tyson tonight. Clear, focused and confident. That’s what she needed to be. Not pining and mopey. No, that wasn’t good at all.

“Oh, hey, isn’t that your boy?”

Your boy. Hah. If only.

She spun around to where her colleague was indicating, unable to stop the smile that spread over her lips as she saw Tyson. Waving to get his attention, Tyson did a dorky wave back before he walked over.

“Hey, sorry I’m a little late. You look amazing,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

She blushed slightly as she hugged him back, squeezing his waist even with her wine in her hand, before letting go.

“Thank you, you’re too sweet! And it’s really not a problem. I did just get a new glass of wine though,” she said, lifting it in indication.

Tyson laughed, shrugging. “I’ll get myself a beer too then, and we can head out after?”

“Sounds good to me!” she grinned.

Tyson grinned back, walking over to the bar in question. Sofia turned back to her colleagues, several of whom were grinning widely at her, but she just rolled her eyes, shaking her head and earning a few pouts.

“Don’t you dare say anything,” she warned.

A couple of them held up their hands in surrender, making her laugh, but another frowned over at something over Sofia’s shoulder.

“Maybe you should say something,” her friend said, jutting her chin in the direction of the bar.

Sofia turned around again, to see what the hell her friend was talking about, before she froze, her breath catching in her throat. Tyson was at the bar…talking with a pretty blonde woman. That, that didn’t mean anything, right? It wasn’t like they were…oh, there it was, the woman brushed her hand up against Tyson’s arm, giggling at something Tyson said while he smiled down at her. Of course a beautiful woman was flirting with him, and why wouldn’t he flirt back? It wasn’t like he had anything or anyone tying him down. It wasn’t like she had any claim to him herself. It wasn’t like Sofia had ever told him how she felt.

And now she was paying for it. Was she really too late? After all this time? Feeling her smile slip, Sofia turned her back on Tyson, forcing her smile back on her face for her colleagues, who were all just staring at her in pity.

“Please don’t,” she begged, taking a deep breath, “clearly I lost my chance,”

“He’s already walking back over, that was just flirting!” one of the girls insisted.

But Sofia just shook her head, taking a big gulp of wine. She was going to need it. That woman was beautiful, blonde and buxom just like every hockey WAG stereotype. And she was definitely not – so maybe this wake-up call was what she needed. No matter how much it hurt.

“Hey, sorry I took so long, service was slow,” Tyson said, apologising as he slipped back in next to her.

Lie. But it was okay, it wasn’t like she wasn’t aware.

“No worries. Cheers!” Sofia said, raising her glass.

Tyson frowned slightly at the fakeness of her smile, but lifted his pint glass to clink with hers anyway. Sofia just took another big gulp of wine.

After that, as hard as she tried, she couldn’t break herself out of that edge of sadness. The evening was tinged with it now, like an ice grip over her heart. Seeing him flirting with that woman was the kick up the ass that she needed – there was a reason that she and Tyson were just friends.

But even though she tried to keep up a happy façade, she knew that Tyson saw through it, even when they’d left and were eating in the restaurant he wanted to try. He would pause every now and again, a little confused expression on his face, which only broke Sofia’s heart a little more. He knew her so well, but he still didn’t know this. And now she didn’t even know if it was worth saying anything – she looked nothing like the woman he’d been flirting with, so what was the point?

Soon enough, their dinner was over (not that Sofia could say what she’d eaten or what they’d talked about, only that neither of them drank anything alcoholic), and Tyson was driving them home.

Oh, he was driving them to his apartment. Not what she’d expected, but she would roll with it. Nothing they hadn’t done several dozen times before. She could hold herself together a little longer.

“So, the food there was really nice. I’ll have to recommend it to some of the guys,” Tyson said, smiling as he unlocked the door.

“Definitely!” she nodded, shutting the door behind them, “although I’m pretty sure none of them will be going for dessert like we did,”

Tyson made a shushing noise, pressing her finger dramatically to his lips, making her laugh as they walked into the kitchen, sitting down on the stools at his kitchen island. Her laugh trailed off slightly as her heart clenched again, realising how comfortable and how right this felt between them. Why couldn’t this be easy? Why couldn’t things just be easy for her for once?

“Hey, what’s going on?”

She looked over to Tyson as his soft question brought her out of her thoughts.

“What do you mean?” she asked, forcing a smile onto her lips.

“There,” he frowned, “That. That fake smile, you’ve been doing it all night,”

Ouch.

“Have not,” she muttered.

“Yes, you have! You were fine when I first met you but as soon as I came back with a drink, something had changed. What’s wrong?”

Why did he have to be so perceptive? He was a hockey player for fuck’s sake. Why did he have to notice this now?

“It’s nothing Tys. I’m fine,” she said firmly.

Tyson rolled his eyes, making her purse her lips together. “I can tell when you’re lying, Sof. You’re clearly not fine. What happened? Was it something I said?”

“No, it wasn’t something you said,” she said sharply.

“Then what’s wrong? Because it’s clearly something!” he asked, his voice raising louder in frustration.

Ugh, for fuck’s sake.

“Why can’t you just drop it?” she snapped.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” he shot back.

Sofia groaned, throwing her head back. “Maybe it’s personal and maybe I don’t want to tell you,”

“What did I do to make you not trust me? We tell each other everything and now there’s something you can’t say? Won’t say? What the hell Sof-”

“I like you!”

Oh god.

Oh no.

As Sofia tried to breathe, there was one thing she noticed more than anything. Tyson was frozen, his mouth open in shock – and he hadn’t said a word. Sofia laughed at his silence, a little wet with imminent tears, a lot broken, and shook her head. What was a little more heartbreak, right? It’s not like she could take it back now.

“No, you know what? I’m pretty sure I love you. But that doesn’t matter, right? Because you haven’t said a damn thing a-and I knew this was going to be the reaction you gave me, which is exactly why I haven’t said anything before. So now you know – I have feelings for you, and…and you clearly don’t have feelings for me. I think I’m just going to go,”

She still hesitated though, as she pulled her phone out to order an uber. 2 minutes away. But Tyson opened and closed his mouth, eyes frantic but voice silent. And that was all she needed to know. Uber booked. Goodbye Tyson. Sofia left his apartment with a heavy heart, slamming the door closed behind her, tears prickling at her eyes as she ran to the elevator, but she pressed her lips together in an attempt to control herself. She’d told him how she felt, and he hadn’t returned her feelings. She’d put herself out there, all for nothing. And that’s all there is to it.

She could wait until she was home to cry.

If nothing else, she was lucky enough that by the time she reached the bottom of his apartment building, her uber had arrived, so she hurried in quietly, resting her head against the window. The driver seemed to realise that she wasn’t in the mood to chat and just put on some soft music, making her heart clench even more as her mind replayed the last 10 minutes.

She’d finally told Tyson how she felt.

Tyson hadn’t said anything.

Nothing at all.

And he definitely hadn’t tried to stop her leaving.

What more of an answer did she need?

Sofia woke up with a heavy heart, feeling like every part of her body was aching. She felt empty, completely drained, just as she feared she would if...no, when she lost Tyson. There was no going back now. There was nothing else she could do. Her friendship with Tyson was over, and fuck that hurt so much. He was such a big part of her life…what was she supposed to do without him?

She barely managed to shuffle from her bed to her kitchen before she started crying, hands shaky as she made her morning coffee. This was her own fault, she knew that. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. So she just let the tears fall, the pain of her heart breaking flooding through her body. It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes until she finished her coffee, but it felt like hours, her head throbbing and her eyes stinging, her cheeks tacky with tears. She couldn’t carry on like this. She couldn’t waste her day, her life, like this. What was the point in that?

Sofia hated feeling pathetic, feeling weak, especially over a guy (even if that guy was Tyson), so she took a deep breath, wiping her cheeks dry with her fingers. “No more. Suck it up,” she muttered to herself.

Her breath shook as she left her coffee mug in the sink for later, her hands still shaking a little too, but she stood a little taller, trying to convince herself that everything was going to be okay. Because it had to be okay. It had to. There wasn’t any other option.

But as she went to walk towards the bathroom to take a shower, the door buzzer rang. What the hell?

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,”

Holy shit. Oh god. Tyson?!

“What are you doing here?” she asked shakily, her voice cracking.

“Please will you just buzz me up?”

Oh god. Should she? She couldn’t just leave him outside, right? This couldn’t be happening. What the hell was he doing here, after last night?

“Please Sof? We need to talk,”

Well, fuck.

She bit her lip, before pressing the buzzer, allowing the building’s front door to open. She knew she had less than minute before he would climb all the stairs and knock on her front door, so she quickly ran to her bedroom, scrubbing her face with a make-up wipe and running a brush through her hair. That was better than nothing. She whipped off her ratty old pyjamas and quickly pulled on some clean panties, some sweatpants and a baggy sweater, at least making herself look casual rather than like a slob.

Then she heard three knocks on the door. Damn it.

Sofia quickly shoved her glasses on her face, taking one last glance at herself in the mirror before walking as calmly as she could to open the front door. Sure enough, Tyson was standing there, looking the most nervous she’d ever seen him. Well, at least she wasn’t the only one feeling affected.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly.

She just nodded, letting him walk past her before shutting the door behind him. Sofia bit her bottom lip, wringing her hands together, before she took a deep breath. This was her home. She was in control here.

“So, you didn’t answer my question,” she said simply, “what are you doing here?”

Tyson let out a whoosh of breath, running a hand through his messy curls. He looked…well, he looked exhausted, if nothing else. Like he’d barely slept. Much like her. Wow. What was he…

“I came here to apologise, Sofia,” he finally admitted.

“Apologise? For what?” she asked, forcing a smile.

“Stop. Please stop,” Tyson said, his eyes full of sadness as he stared her down, “you know you don’t have to pretend with me,”

Well, fuck.

“What do you want me to say, Tys? I’m trying to patch together a broken heart here,” she said, her smile now wobbly. Damn it. She wasn’t going to cry again. She wasn’t!

“But I don’t want you to patch up a broken heart!” he blurted.

Sofia’s breath caught in her throat, her mouth going dry. What was he saying?

Tyson swallowed heavily, looking down at the ground before looking back at her, his eyes shiny but steady.

“You make me a fool, Sofia,” Tyson murmured, “every time I think I’ve got my head on straight, you spin me around. I always feel like such an idiot around you, always messing up. Just like last night, when I just froze up like a fucking statue instead of telling you how I feel. The thought of you not being in my life, even just overnight, is too much to bear. I can’t be without you,”

What?

He…what?

Tyson saw her hesitation, but didn’t dare stop talking now that he’d started. And Sofia couldn’t find any words to say at all. So Tyson licked his bottom lip nervously, before taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“I should never have let you walk out of my front door last night. I should never have let you go without telling you that I love you too,”

Sofia whimpered, hand flying up to cover her mouth as tears filled her eyes. He loves her too? He…loves her? Tyson bit his bottom lip, stepping forward to rest his hands on her shoulders, desperate for the contact.

“Please tell me you still love me? Even though I acted like a fool? Even though I hurt you?” he said softly.

She immediately nodded, tears finally trickling down her cheeks. “Of course I still love you. These feelings aren’t just going to disappear overnight,”

Tyson smiled, his eyes a little watery too, but he leant down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, making Sofia whimper again before slumping into his arms. He slid his hands from her shoulders to wrap his arms fully around her, her hands rising up his back to clutch at his t-shirt.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry,” Tyson whispered.

“It’s okay,” Sofia said, her voice muffled into his chest.

“No, it isn’t. You weren’t okay last night and I pushed you and pushed you, and then acted like a complete asshole,” Tyson muttered.

“You weren’t an asshole! I…I was so sad last night, before we left the bar for dinner. It killed me to see you flirting with her, that beautiful blonde woman while you ordered your drink,”

There. There it was.

But Tyson just huffed a laugh.

“That was nothing. She meant nothing. And now you know how I feel every time you went out on a date with one of those stupid guys,” Tyson mused, “you go out on so many dates!”

Sofia blushed slightly, thunking her head down on Tyson’s collarbone, making him laugh.

“I haven’t been out on any dates at all since we fell asleep on the sofa,” she grumbled.

“Yeah,” Tyson said, his voice much more serious now, “I noticed that. And it gave me hope,”

“Hope?” she asked softly, looking up at him.

“Hope that maybe it wasn’t just me that had feelings,” he explained, smiling.

Sofia smiled shyly back at him, before biting her bottom lip. Tyson noticed her hesitation, and unwrapped his arms from her, leaving one hand linked with hers. Sofia blushed slightly at the contact, as silly and simple as it was, making Tyson smile again.

“C’mon,” he urged, tugging her towards him lightly.

She followed Tyson through her own apartment until they reached the sofa in the living room, the two of them sitting down next to each other. Her heart beat a little faster as he turned to face her properly, but she tucked up her legs to face him too, her knees brushing his thighs. This felt different. This felt so different.

“Hey,” he murmured.

“Hey,” she laughed.

Sofia looked down at where there hands were still joined, Tyson just running his thumb over her knuckles in response. Why were they being so weird about this? No, she needed to know what he wanted. It couldn’t be any worse than last night, that was certain. She could do this.

“So what do you want here, Tys?” she asked softly.

Tyson smiled. She was so much braver than him, twice now. “I want to call you mine, Sofia. And I want you to call me yours,”

Sofia’s breath caught in her throat, but her lips spread into a brilliant smile. Yes. That was…that was everything she wanted. And he was just offering it to her on a silver platter? Really? Well, she wasn’t turning this done, no way in hell.

“I think I could get used to calling you my boyfriend,” she said, not hiding an ounce of her happiness.

Boyfriend. Wow.

Tyson’s smile spread into a grin, the giddiness spreading through his face, making her laugh. “I can’t wait to tell Nate that you’re finally my girlfriend,”

Sofia snorted. Of course Nate would come first before his family. “Is there going to be an I-told-you-so in there?” she mused. She wouldn’t put it past Nate to do so.

“Oh yeah he’s never going to let me live this down,” Tyson nodded, “especially with how I treated you last night,”

Hey, no.

“Water under the bridge, Tys. We’re sorted now, right?” she said firmly.

“Yeah, of course we are,” Tyson grinned, giving her hand a squeeze.

He was finally hers. And she was finally his. Fuck that felt so good.

“There is one thing though,” Tyson said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Oh yeah?” she said, frowning.

What?

“Can I kiss you?” he asked shyly.

Her frown melted into a smile, earning a smile back. Instead of answering, Sofia leant her head up, Tyson meeting her in the middle to press their lips together in a gentle kiss. Oh wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. She pulled away with her lips tingling, Tyson looking just as dazed as her.

“Kiss me again?” Sofia asked breathlessly.

Tyson grinned.

#my writing #tyson barrie #tyson barrie fic #meet cute to just friends to lovers #all the pining you could ever want #tyson barrie x reader #tyson barrie imagine #tyson barrie fanfiction #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl writing #nhl imagine

206 notes · View notes

tuffduff · 4 years

Text

‘Til Death and Beyond (Slash x Reader)

Pairing: Slash x Reader

Words: 1,965

Request: anon! “Hi luv ! I was wondering if I could request an imagine with slash and the reader at their wedding reception. Just them being all cute and married together.”

A/N: Imagine all the boys giving speeches at your wedding...amazing. A sickly sweet and gushy wedding fic for you on this Sunday. Enjoy, my loves!

Taglist: @ubernoxa @the--blackdahlia @reigns420 @stradlin-cold-heartbreaker @rumoured-whispers @dustnbones

“Oh, shit, Y/N.” Slash said under his breath to you as he reached out to lock your hand securely in his. “I don’t know how to dance.” He placed his other hand on your waist and you placed your free hand on his shoulder.

“Babe, it’s just a slow dance. We don’t have to break out a waltz or anything.” You reassured him affectionately as you swayed for your first dance, your long ball gown grazing against the floor.

“Can you imagine?” He chuckled. You took in the sight of him, still in leather pants, except they were nice leather pants. He had long ditched his tuxedo jacket and had his white button up unbuttoned—always unorthodox and free-spirited was your husband. Husband, you thought again, mulling over the word in your mind and feeling a wave of love. Suddenly, he grinned at you and brushed his fingers against your cheek.

“What, is there something wrong?” You asked anxiously; there were a lot of people watching. The last thing you wanted was something on your face or something amiss.

“No! You just look so fucking beautiful.”

Lenny Kravitz, Slash’s longtime friend, was singing “May This Be Love” by Jimi Hendrix and strumming guitar softly. You rested your head on Slash’s shoulder, getting teleported back to all the times you had listened to this song together. One of your first dates, curled together on his bed half-dressed, his lips lazily leaving kisses on your head. Whenever he was playing guitar and noticed you were listening, it was the song he would transition to. He would even sing for you, but only you.

There were moments often where you felt like you needed to pinch yourself. When you went out together and Slash was recognized and got swarmed by adoring fans. When you listened to Guns N’ Roses songs and the guitar solos hit and you were reminded the man playing them loved you. And then the private moments, your most cherished, when he would make sure you were fully covered by the blankets, those moments of love that reminded you just how lucky you really were.

You and Slash were soon seated right in the center of your reception area—a ritzy LA hotel reception area with shiny oak, warm candelabra lighting, grand stone columns and marble floors. Almost immediately, you jumped at the sound of Duff hitting his glass with a knife too loudly.

“Oops,” he muttered in amusement, before loudly continuing. “Hello, everybody, can I have a moment?” He was Slash’s best man; therefore, he would be starting off the speeches. You felt yourself grow apprehensive and almost nervous; it appeared Duff had indulged in cocktail hour. You just prayed he wasn’t too far gone yet as he turned his gaze to you and Slash fondly.

“I just wanna say, to the bride and groom, I’m so fucking happy for you two.” You pressed a smile, hoping your older relatives didn’t mind his language. Slash laughed good-naturedly. “No, seriously. I’ve been rooting for you guys...since the very beginning—Slash, man, don’t you remember? I see you nodding—don’t get embarrassed! Okay,” Duff turned to his audience excitedly, now armed with a story. “So, I remember—way back when—it was at one of our gigs at the Troubadour, or maybe it was the Whiskey. Anyways, we were about to start ‘Sweet Child’ and I had already noticed Slash was almost avoiding one side of the stage. He’s almost been playing the whole gig with his back turned to the crowd or kinda like, sideways. It was weird. Anyways, we’re about to start ‘Sweet Child’ and Slash keeps messing up.” You giggled and the rest of your audience laughed; you remembered this story very well.

Slash was now ducking his head in embarrassment, holding your hand in his tighter. “We had to restart like three times. Axl was furious, Izzy and I were just like ‘what is going on?’ It wasn’t until later I found out Slash had seen Y/N for the first time standing in crowd up front at this show.” You heard a wave of aww rise up from the crowd, and warm smiles in your direction. “He was so intimidated and nervous by her that he wouldn’t even go to that side of the stage, and he psyched himself out and everything. Anyways, I guess it all worked out, didn’t it?” Duff grinned, raising his glass. “I love you both, congrats!”

Steven stood up next enthusiastically, practically bouncing. “Slash, Y/N, you did it! Finally hitched, finally. It’s like Duff was saying, I was rooting for you both since the beginning. Have any of you guys ever noticed the difference between Slash when he’s with Y/N and when he’s not?” Some of the crowd chuckled, some were even nodding. “I’m serious! There’s a difference! And I’ve known this guy for a while. When he’s not, I mean he’s still Slash, but when she’s around it’s like the sun is shining, the angels are singing—he’s happier! And I like it when you’re around too, Y/N. I love you two! Good job!” Steven grinned, blowing you kisses. Your heart melted at his loving praise.

Axl stood next, calm and cool, one hand in his pocket. “I knew this was serious back...I guess it was a few years ago, I don’t remember when. Slash hates conflict. There was a fight, not a fight just a disagreement, between you two. Slash came storming into the studio and he was pretty upset, just withdrawn and occupied. I brushed it off as like a typical girl problem, I even told myself what does it matter anyways, it’s not a serious thing. You came then, busting into the studio with all five of us staring. Slash just lit up and you, Y/N—I’ll never forget this. You glared at Slash and said ‘I want this to work and I love you. Nothing is ever going to be greater than that and I don’t want to ever run away and not talk things through. You can keep the snakes.’” The crowd laughed, you and Slash laughed too—you had forgotten about this. “I was like ‘really? All of this over snakes?’ But that’s important to Slash, which therefore was important to you, Y/N. And I knew it was serious and right, because you’d never have an issue compromising for each other. And that’s something special.”

Izzy kept it short, smiling lightly and keeping his head down as he talked. “I can honestly just say I’ve never seen Slash happier than when he’s on the road reading a letter Y/N wrote him. I’ve even seen him drawing pictures of her, like a high school kid drawing pictures in his notebook, in his own little world. And Y/N, we’ve all come to love her too. This whole band owes a lot to her, and I couldn’t be happier for you both.”

All of those words were enough to make you feel complete, until you felt Slash stand up. You watched him, stunned; you both had agreed you weren’t going to make speeches since the thought of it made you both nervous. He glanced down at you and laughed as if knew exactly what you were thinking.

“Um, I know we both said we wouldn’t make a speech or anything, but...I had to.” He said. You knew he was nervous from the sheepish smile on his face and the way he kept running his hands through his hair and shifting his weight. Even his voice, which was slightly shaky. “I never had the slightest clue about what love was, until you. I wouldn’t be me now if it weren’t for the way you’ve loved me all this time. Not to get too sappy or anything, but there are times when it gets hard on the road and the thought of you is what keeps me going, you know? And it bugs me sometimes when people ask you what it’s like to be with a rock star. I’m just me, and that’s all you’ve ever needed. You’ve always treated me like that, like I’m just me. And really, it’s you that rocks my world.” He couldn’t keep from laughing through his words. You were crying and laughing and jumped to your feet as the crowd clapped and cheered and whistled.

“I love you!” You cried, throwing your arms around his neck. He held you tight, picking you up off your feet for a moment.

“I love you more, Mrs. Hudson.” He pulled back, a lopsided grin on his face. “That sounds kinda funny, doesn’t it?”

“No! Funny?” You asked, laughing and hitting his arm as he laughed too. “I love the way it sounds.”

The night went on with the dinner being served and guests coming over to congratulate you both. You got a dance with each of the guys and Slash danced a number of times with your mom and his own mother.

When it was time to throw your bouquet, your best friend caught it. The guys were much more excited to watch Slash retrieve your garter—if only for the chance to try and embarrass Slash.

He had a wobbly smile on his face as he got down to knees to a loud yell from Duff and a whistle from Axl. “Alright, here I go,” he laughed to you before he lifted your large skirt and stuck his head underneath.

“Hey, where’s the fun in that?” Axl booed. You felt Slash kiss up your leg from the privacy of underneath your dress and couldn’t help but blush as you tried to not make eye contact with his parents. His breath on your leg going higher and higher had you struggling not to squirm in your seat and you knew from the smirks of your friends they must have known too. Finally, Slash reappeared, holding your garter in between his teeth to raucous cheering. He tossed it into the crowd, where it landed on top of Izzy’s hat. He immediately began blushing with embarrassment at the attention the garter was garnering. You were just glad the attention was away from you.

Soon, it was time to cut the cake. It was a large tiered cake adorned in beautiful ruby red roses and intricate icing designs almost made to imitate a lace material. Slash didn’t trust himself to be the one to cut into the cake, so you did it with his hand holding yours. Obediently, you cut two pieces for yourselves and ate the first bite, giggling at each other and feeling silly. Slash’s eyes flashed at you and darted next to him to where Duff stood at his side. You glanced next to you, where Steven was smiling. Reading each other’s minds, you both slammed your pieces of cake respectively into his band mates’ faces. Slash couldn’t reach Duff’s face, so most of the cake ended up on his collar and tie. Steven’s shocked face staring back at you made you laugh, but he merely wiped the cake off his face with his finger and licked the icing, laughing too.

Duff took the pieces of fallen cake and tried to get Izzy, who smartly ducked to the back of the crowd. Slash had somehow ended up with cake on his face and you laughed to yourself, pulling him by the collar of his shirt towards you to kiss. You could taste the sweet icing on his lips and smiled into the kiss; he had his hands out in the air to avoid getting cake on your dress.

“I love you,” he told you as he pulled away, still laughing at Duff and Steven trying to rid themselves of cake. You smiled, wrapping your arm around his waist.

“And I love you.”

#slash gnr #slash imagine #guns n roses #gnr #gnr imagine #saul hudson #saul hudson imagine #classic rock #classic rock imagine #80s

252 notes · View notes

icyberriies · 4 years

Text

Forbidden Love

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom’s in love with you, the only problem is you’re dating his best friend.

Word Count: 1.6K

Warnings: Language, unedited

A/N: This is a repost from an all account.

↓↓↓

“I swear to fucking god, I can’t get her out of my head.” Tom swore, shooting at the clay pigeons being launched into the sky.

“What do you mean?” his brother, Harry, asked.

“I mean. I go to bed, she’s on my mind. I wake up, she’s on my mind. I’m beating information out of a dickhead, guess fucking what, she’s on my fucking mind. It’s driving me insane.” He sighed, chucking his gun onto the table.

“If you need to, take some time. Travel somewhere. Cross something off your bucket list.” Harry said, earning an eye roll and a huff from his brother.

“I don’t have a bucket list and I don’t want to go anywhere.” Tom snapped. “I want to stop thinking about her.”

“I get that Tom, I really-“

“No you don’t.” Tom interrupted. “You don’t get it. You don't get what’s it’s like to be in love with your best mate’s girlfriend.”

“Shit!” Harry exclaimed. “I didn’t know you were in love with her.”

“Well, I am. Fuck! What do I do?” He shouted.

“Take a break. You’re never going to get over her if you’re constantly around her.”

“But I don’t want to not see her. I want to see her everyday, preferably in my bed in the mornings. If this is all I can get then I’ll take it.”

“This isn’t going to be good for you, Tom.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going anywhere.”

“If you think that’s best.”

-----

You arched your back, the muscles stretching in the right way. You rolled over, curling back into Harrison’s side.

“Morning, love.’ He spoke. You only mumbled in response. ‘I forgot you weren’t a morning person.” He chuckled before gently rolling you back over so he could get up.

“I’ve got to go to work. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah.’ You sighed. ‘Tom will be here right?” He hummed in agreement. ‘Then I’ll be fine, baby.”

“Ok. Let me know if Tom gets on your nerves.” He teased.

“I will.” You giggled, pulling the duvet over your head.

Three hours passed when a piercing ring echoed around the room. You pressed the answer button and brought the phone up to your ear, without looking at the ID.

“Hello?” Your voice came out a lot more croaky than you expected so you cleared your throat.

“We need you in your office as soon as possible.” The voice crackled through.

“Why? It’s saturday.” You whined.

“Because we have someone who may know something about the Smith double homicide and robbery.” He answered.

“Oh shit! I’m on my way.” You hung up and got out of bed, throwing on a pair of leggings and one of Harrison’s hoodies. You grabbed a snack from the kitchen and left the house.

When you got to the office, you were given a run down from the head of the security and ushered into the room.

A half hour later you were annoyed beyond belief.

“For fucks sake,” you cried, “Just tell me where it is.”

“Never.” The guy spat.

“Dude.” You sighed. “You’re tied to a chair and you have blood dripping down your face and you think you have the upper hand in this situation. Are you insane?”

“Probably but you still need to try a lot harder than this to get me to talk.”

“What is it that will get you to talk? Everyone has that weak spot, the thing that gets them to crack. What’s yours?” You asked, running the blade over his thigh, not hard enough to cut.

“You’ll never know.” He hissed.

“Hmmmmm. I wouldn’t be too sure. Take him to the cells.” You instructed the men standing by the door.

“You're too pussy to do anything, huh?”

“No.” You stepped closer to him. “I want you to go crazy from the anticipation. Get him out of my sight.”

You watched the security team drag him out the room, as you wipe your hands clean. Satisfied that no one was nearby, you threw your knife at the wall, the blade getting stuck in the wall.

“Fuck sake.”

“You might want to be careful, darling.” You knew that voice anywhere.

“Hi Tommy,’ You missed the way his breath hitched at the nickname, ‘Could you grab that for me?” You asked, gesturing to the knife in the wall. You took a second to really look at him, noticing the way his shoulders were slightly hunched and he had a far away look in his warm brown eyes.

He blinked slowly at you, reminding you of an owl, “Pardon?”

“The knife? Could you get it for me please?” He nodded and pulled it out of the wall, handing it back to you. You looked up, noticing the close proximity between the two of you.

“Thank you.” You mumbled.

“No problem, darling.” Fuck. Why did your heart speed up at that and why were you suddenly nervous.

“I’ve got to go.” You said, wanting to escape the situation.

“Of course,” He stepped back and rubbed the back of his neck. Why did you find that adorable? You got to the door before he spoke up again. ‘Hold up! Will I see you at the party tonight?”

“Of course, Tommy. Harrison’s going so I will too.” Right. Harrison. Your boyfriend.

“Oh right. I’ll see you later.” He sighed.

“Of course.” You left quickly after that.

Later at the party, Harrison had left you by the bar to talk to someone or other, you kinda zoned out when he told you. You were standing at the bar, ordering a new drink when Tom walked up.

“How are you? Where’s Harrison?” He asked, leaning over the bar to order a drink.

“I’m bored, Tom.’ You whined. ‘And he went somewhere to talk to someone.”

“You saying he left you alone?” He asked, tilting his head in the cutest way. **No. You have a boyfriend and you love him.**

“Yup.” You said, popping the p. Tom smiled, finding it adorable. **No. You have a boyfriend and you love him. But I love you.** He was brought out of his thoughts by you.

“I’m going to he-‘ you started before being interrupted by the DJ.

“Ok. So. I don’t usually do this but Harrison here,’ he placed his hand on Harrison's shoulder, ‘has a little question he would like to ask his girlfriend. Y/n, can you step forward please?” You start walking towards Harrison. When you reached him the rest of the party guests had formed a circle around the two of you.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while now. I've been wanting to do this for ages.’ He knelt down and you covered your mouth, your eyes flicking up to Tom. ‘I had a full speech prepared for this and now I’m here my minds gone blank,’ that prompted a soft chuckle from all of your audience, all except Tom. ‘Y/n. I love you. I’m not going to make this too sappy because I know how much you hate that. I’ve known you were the one for not that long to be honest. I never thought I’d find the one. It was when we were laying in bed and you were doing the crossword in the newspaper, you noticed a spelling mistake. I’d never realised how in love with you I am before that.’ Tom couldn’t take it. He couldn’t stand here listening to his best mate pour his heart out to you, knowing you’ll return the words. “I’ve never felt like this before. So I’m going to bite the bullet and ask you this. Y/n, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me.” The crowd ‘awed’ and you looked up at Tom, who wasn’t where he was last.

“I- I’m sorry. I can’t.” You heard a collective gasp from the surrounding audience before you turned on your heel and ran out of the hall.

You pushed open the outside doors to the hall and called a cab, not noticing Tom behind you. By the time you got home, Tom was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

“Hey.” You murmured.

“Hi.’ He sighed, deciding to get it over and done with. He spoke up, feeling his heart shatter. ‘Let’s see the ring then.”

“I didn’t say yes, Tom.” He looked up at you, with his eyebrows furrowed, confusion painting his face.

“I thought you loved him.”

“I thought so to Tom.” You stepped closer, bringing a hand up to his cheek.

“Then why did you say no?” He held your wrist and nuzzled his face into your palm.

“Because as much as I love Harrison. I’m in love with someone else.” You felt Tom’s breath hitch against your palm.

**Please know it’s you.** you begged in your head.

“W-who is it?” **Please be me.** Tom begged in his head, closing his eyes.

“It’s you. It’s always been you.” His eyes shot open. Neither of you are sure who started leaning in first but the next thing you knew was Toms lips were pressed against yours so perfectly. His lips were surprisingly soft, he tasted like mint and something was so distinctively Tom.

“I love you, Tom.” You wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I love you too.” He replied, pulling you closer to him.

“What about Harrison?” He asked, against your lips.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. It’s getting late.” You reassured him.

“I feel bad though.”

“You want me to talk to him now?” You asked, pulling away from his lips.

“God no. Come to bed.” He started pulling you in the direction of his room.

“Ok.”

He pushed open his bedroom door with his foot and looked back at you.

“This isn’t a joke between you and Harrison, is it?” He asked,

“God no. Why would you think that?”

“I’ve been in love with you for so long that I can’t help thinking you knew and you're taking the piss.” He replied.

“I’m not. This is forever, Tom.”

“And always?” He ducked slightly, placing his forehead on yours.

“Forever and always.” You nodded, pressing your lips to his.

#icyberriies writes #tom holland #tom x reader #tom holland x you #tom x y/n #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n

61 notes · View notes

let-me-love-you-loki · 3 years

Text

Welcome to Oblivion-Ch. 35

Chapter 35

The super amazing Valentine’s Day plan turned out to be tacos drowning in queso from the local Mexican place and a marathon of John Hughes movies on Netflix. Dean blushed brightly as he confessed that it had been his job to get reservations for dinner and he’d forgotten because of a fight and his advanced engine mechanics exam. I just smiled and kissed his cheek as I passed by to grab my third taco. Roman chuckled from his place on the sofa, his feet propped up on the table next to a bouquet of pink, white, and red roses. They were sticking out of an empty spaghetti jar, but they were beautiful.

“I’m sorry,” Dean said again as he plopped into place next to me. “I promise we had something really nice planned, princess.”

“Stop apologizing,” I replied, bumping my shoulder with his. “This is amazing. I’ve never been one of those kinds of girls anyway. Plus, Ortiz makes the best tacos for a hundred miles.”

Roman draped his arm around my shoulders and grinned. “While you might not be the kind of girl that likes that stuff, you deserve it. You know… getting showered with all kinds of amazing things. I mean… you do have two boyfriends.”

My heart skipped a beat and a sensation of warmth and happiness bled through my body. It was more than just being caught up between the two of them on the sofa, their bulk radiating heat and the sweet scent of their cologne. Being with them made me feel at home in a way that I never had before. They made me feel like myself… the best version of myself.

“I have two of the best boyfriends,” I said, tucking my feet up beneath me. “Who buy me tacos and watch sappy 80’s movies with me. There’s only one thing that would make this the most amazing Valentine’s Day ever.”

Dean chuckled low in his throat. “And what’s that?”

Before I could say anything, the apartment door burst open and Seth slipped inside. Rain settled on his shoulders and the beanie covering his dark hair. He cradled a white cardboard box in his hand. “Sorry, I know,” he said sadly. “I’ll stay in my room and not bother you guys. I picked up a cake from Maddie’s downtown. Red velvet with chocolate icing.”

Seth slipped out of his jacket and tossed it over the back of one of the mismatched chairs by the kitchen table. He sat the cake on the counter and passed by with a worn, unhappy sort of smile. His eyes were dark and forlorn. The sound of his door felt like a heavy blow.

The Breakfast Club played in the background, Judd Nelson going on about his horrible home life. Somehow, the mood in the room changed. Dean turned sideways, his fingertips tracing gently along the side of my face. He tucked stray hair behind my ear.

“I see that look,” he whispered.

“What look?” I queried, trying to look normal as I stuffed half a taco into my mouth.

Roman’s hand curled around mine. His thumb rubbed slow circles along the back of my hand. “That endearing worried look. I’ve seen you look at Drew and Sonya that way. It bothers you that Seth is upset.”

My heart fell into my stomach. I had a horrible sinking feeling in my guts. It was sour and bitter all at once. For some reason, the sensation felt familiar.

“Maybe it does,” I replied at last. “I’ll check on him in the morning.”

Dean pressed a kiss against my temple. Roman settled his chin on my shoulder. “Go ahead,” he whispered against my ear. “I know what he means to you, baby girl.”

I closed my eyes, scrunching them shut as that sick, sinking feeling settled in my stomach. I pressed my lips together. Fought back vomit as it clawed up my throat. “No,” I murmured, suddenly desperately exhausted.

Dean trailed his fingertips along my jaw to the point of my chin. “Go on, princess. It’s okay.”

I couldn’t make sense of how the two of them could read me so easily. My heart squeezed in my chest. I wanted to be sick, I wanted to cry, I wanted to shout and whisper and wail at how much I didn’t deserve them. There was something wrong with me. Something so desperately, deeply, undeniably wrong.

I smiled faintly at Roman and Dean, lucky to have the two of them. They understood me so well, even when I didn’t deserve it. I kissed Dean’s cheek and squeezed Roman’s hand as I passed by. Faint light filtered out from beneath Seth’s bedroom door. Time seemed to move slowly as I rested my forehead against the wood and knocked.

“Damn it, I know, okay,” Seth swore as he thumped around in his room. His footsteps were heavy as he stomped to the door, yanking it open so fast that I very nearly fell over. “I’m leaving. Just give me a sec—”

His brown doe eyes went wide. Clearly, he hadn’t expected me to be there. My heart skipped sideways, and I couldn’t explain why. Something danced over his face, lighting up his expression, but it flitted away before I could make sense of it. “What are you doing here?”

I leaned against the doorframe. He smelled like coffee beans and vanilla. The scent hurtled memories before my mind’s eye. The two of us sprawled in the floor of the living room, notes and books strewn over the table, plates scraped clean of Dean’s famous breakfast sandwiches mixed in with fast food containers and a cascade of coffee cups stacked everywhere. Standing in the hallway before our lecture began, leaning against the wall and arguing about music and bad sci-fi movies.

Something tugged in the space behind my ribs. For a moment, I lost my breath entirely.

“You looked upset,” I whispered. I had the strangest urge to hug him—to hold him and protect him from everything. “What’s wrong?”

The corners of his mouth tipped upward in a poor imitation of a smile. “Stop worrying about me, Addy. Go spend your Valentine’s Day with Dean and Ro.”

I blinked, trying to stop tears that appeared out of nowhere. I couldn’t understand why I was crying in the first place. “Don’t do that,” I gasped, robbed entirely of breath. “Don’t act like you don’t care.”

Seth backed up a step, looking at me as if he’d never seen me before. His fingers twitched at his side like he wanted to reach out but was restraining himself. “Don’t care about what exactly?

My throat closed. I felt like screaming. Like beating my fists against his chest until he admitted it. I couldn’t entirely figure out what I wanted him to admit, but the irrationally emotional side of me didn’t care.

“You’re unhappy. You’re hurt. My God, Seth, you’re here on Valentine’s Day when you should be with… Oh…” The flash of anger melted in an instant. His eyes lost focus. “It’s none of my business. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he mumbled, propping himself up on the door. He was close, the scent of him stronger than before. “She had a very good reason for breaking up with me.”

The urge to hold him rushed back at me. I had to restrain myself. I crossed my arms over my chest instead. “And what was it exactly?” I heard the hesitation, the hitch in my voice, and hated myself for it.

That look appeared in his eyes again—making him look impossibly dark and fathomless. He closed his eyes, swallowed hard, clenched his fists at his sides. It was as if he were fighting a battle with himself—one that he was clearly losing.

With a sigh, he met my gaze. “It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who’s in love with someone else. Even if it’s someone they can’t ever have.”

He looked… broken. There was no other word for it. I hated it. Myself for putting him in this position. For ruining him… for ruining whatever friendship we had. How could I do this? How could I keep doing this?

The tears dripped hot and molten down my cheeks. I swiped them away frustratedly. Seth was in pain, and it wasn’t fair for me to break down in front of him. Not like this. I sucked in a deep breath and nodded furiously.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry, Seth. Becky doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

I turned on my heel and walked away, holding my shoulders as steady as possible. I wanted… I didn’t know what I wanted. Everything about me—about this entire situation—was wrong. Damaged. Ugly and desperately, completely twisted. Sick.

The overwhelming urge to curl up with Roman and Dean nearly knocked me to my knees. And yet… I wanted them to hate me. To look at me and see that I wasn’t worthy of them and their hearts. That I was a selfish girl who wanted everything and then more and more. They were good and kind and deserved far better than whatever I was.

Simple Minds hummed from the television as I practically stumbled into the living room. Dean sat sideways, watching the hallway and chewing on the edge of his thumb. Roman leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, a deep furrow in his brow. They both looked up when I stepped into the room, nearly stumbling over my own feet.

“Addy,” Roman queried as he practically crossed the room in two steps. He wrapped me in my arms, catching me as I stumbled and fell against his chest. For a brief moment, I thought I’d passed out.

In the next moment, I was curled in his lap on the sofa, Dean scooting closer. His worn fingers cradled the back of my head as he stroked the back of my neck with his thumb. Roman swept his fingers along my cheeks, wiping away the tears that still burned along my face. I ached in a way that I couldn’t explain. I hurt in a way that was more than I had the right to. It was a heartbreak that I hadn’t earned.

“What happened, baby girl?” Roman murmured, his hand curling gently along my throat. “Did he say something?”

Dean smiled against my shoulder. “Did he finally tell you the truth?”

“The truth about what?” I whimpered, wanting to curl into a ball. It felt like a hole had been punched straight through my chest. “I thought he was my friend. I thought…”

Roman kissed me gently, barely a brush of his lips against mine. “He is, Addy. He cares for you more than you could imagine.”

Dean’s voice ran over me like water. He pressed his mouth against the curve of my throat. “He’s like me, princess. He’s just too scared to say it.”

Tag List

@mox-made-me-do-it

@vebner37

@lilred91

@not-that-kinda-gurl08

@maelleoute

@missjenniferb

@librathepheonix13

#welcome to oblivion #roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #dean ambrose #dean ambrose fanfiction #seth rollins #seth rollins fanfiction #the shield #the shield fanfiction #wwe #wwe fanfiction #shield!Au #College!AU #College!Shield #multi-chapter

26 notes · View notes

buckybeardreams · 3 years

Text

Loss

Chapters: 1/16

Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Brock Rumlow/Sam Wilson, Clint Barton/Brock Rumlow/Sam Wilson

Characters: Clint Barton, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Brock Rumlow, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes, Lila Barton, Cooper Barton, Nathaniel Pietro Barton, Kate Bishop, Harley Keener, Darcy Lewis, Rebecca Barnes Proctor

Additional Tags: Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Past Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sappy, Happy Ending, Kid Fic, Grief/Mourning, Depression, brief alcohol abuse, Brief suicidal thoughts, Separation Anxiety, Insecurity, Misunderstandings, Protective Brock Rumlow, Sam Wilson is a Saint, non-sexual nudity, Soulmates, Mates, Non-Explicit Sex, Anal Fingering, References to Knotting, Bonding, Claiming, Claiming Bites, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, Breastfeeding, Co-Sleeping

Summary:

After Clint lost his soulmate he didn't think he'd ever love again, then he started to hook up with Brock. At first it was just a nice distraction but after a while he thought that maybe it could be something more, that is until Brock met his own soulmate. Clint was sure that would be the end of things, but now Sam and Brock both are flirting with him and he doesn't know what to do with that.

This is the 2nd part in a 3 part series, second chances, but they can be read as stand alone fics so it's not necessary to read the first one to enjoy this one.

You can find part 1 on tumblr or on ao3.

I'm not gonna be posting the full chapters for this fic here after this one, but you can read them on ao3. I'll be updating every Mon, Wed, and Fri.

Words: 1,890

Tony grinned when Brock opened the door, Harley strapped to his back and a bottle of sparkling apple cider in his hand.

"I brought non-alcoholic beverages!"

Brock laughed and pulled him in for a hug.

"You still doing that attachment parenting thing," Brock teased.

"Yeah, you?"

Brock nodded.

"Yeah, Sam's got Sonny right now. He took him for a walk in the park so I wouldn't strangle him."

"Oh no, is it teething?"

Brock raised a brow.

"What? No, not Sonny. Sam. He's driving me crazy. Sonny's a perfect little angel. He gets that from me."

"Uh-huh, sure," Tony indulged, passing the sparkling cider to Brock and following him into the kitchen.

"How's the restaurant? Running smoothly?"

"Smooth enough anyway. Running a business is no easy task, but I manage."

"I'd hope so, seeing as you are the manager," Brock teased as he grabbed the bottle opener and opened the cider before pouring it into glasses.

Tony rolled his eyes at the lame joke.

"At least the transition from a bar into a family restaurant by day, bar by night went smoothly. Everything else is just icing on top now. With the renovations done and the remodeling out of the way, now all we have to do is manage the staff. Well, then there's the paperwork and finances and whatnot, but Steve handles all of that."

"Yeah, I gotta admit, as much as I love hanging out with your baby daddy, I do miss you at all the mommy and baby classes."

Tony hummed, shrugging.

"Not really my thing, but Steve says Harley loves the baby ASL. He's not a fan of the swim lessons though."

Brock nodded in understanding.

"Sonny hated those ones at first too. He doesn't really care too much about the ASL, but the messy arts class is right up his alley. Sam says it's because I insist on having a sparkly clean home. He acts like it's a bad thing. A home can't be too clean."

Tony just hummed, because his Alpha had a similar need to keep things spotless and Tony definitely didn't care for it. At least Steve was willing to do all the chores for him, because Tony would definitely object if he had to do the cleaning. A place could definitely be too clean, but he wasn't about to open that can of worms with Brock.

"Yeah, Steve was disappointed that Harley wasn't more into the art classes. He just doesn't like getting messy. He takes after Steve like that, kind of a neat freak, and yet Steve loves painting, which I really don't get. His paintings are fabulous though and his studio is a mess. The rest of the house though? Spotless."

Brock laughed and they headed to the couch to sip their sparkling cider.

Harley started to squirm when his feet touched the cushions and Tony set his glass down, standing back up to remove him from the carrier.

"Hi, pretty baby! Look at you! You're so pretty!" Tony cooed at him.

Harley just giggled and reached out to grab at his curls. Tony scrunched up his face and pried his grabby hands out of his hair.

"Okay, enough of that. Mommy likes his hair too much to let you pull it all out."

Tony set Harley down in a large octagon-shaped playpen. It had pillows and toys in it that Harley immediately made a beeline for. It's what Brock liked to call a yes zone, because pretty much everywhere else in their apartment he had to say no to Sonny constantly, but in his playpen everything was a yes.

"How are things going with you and Sam?" Tony asked, sitting back down.

Brock groaned.

"I'm not sure."

"Uh-oh," Tony said and Harley looked around like he was trying to figure out what was an uh-oh. "Trouble in paradise?"

"I don't know. Maybe? Things aren't bad or anything. Actually Sam's kinda annoyingly perfect. Sometimes I feel like it's hard to live up to that."

"Aw, Brock, I don't think Sam cares so much about that."

"I know he doesn't," Brock groaned. "Because he's freaking perfect and I'm a lost cause."

"No, you're not. You just need to give yourself a break. Trying to be perfect is just going to leave you feeling like you're not good enough."

Brock narrowed his eyes at him.

"When did you get to be so wise?"

"When my firstborn turned one," Tony teased, nudging him with his shoulder. "No, seriously though. Don't worry so much about trying to keep the house perfect and all sparkly clean and worry more about living your life. Spend more time with Sam."

"I spend almost all of my time with Sam."

"Yeah, but Sonny's there too. There's nothing wrong with family time, but when was the last time you went on a date night?"

Brock wasn't even sure. It had been months.

"You need to get yourself a babysitter, or drop Sonny off with us, and then spend some time alone. Remember why you became mates in the first place. It wasn't because you wanted a baby. It was because you loved each other and you fell in love at first sight. So spend some time looking at each other again and maybe you'll find that spark you used to have."

Brock sighed and downed the rest of his cider.

"God, I wish there was alcohol in this."

"Don't we all?"

They could hear the sound of keys in the door before it opened and Sam came in, Sonny strapped to his belly. Brock got up when the baby started saying mamamamama and pulled him out of the carrier.

"Hi, angel, look at how big you are? You want to go see Tony? Show him your new skills?" Brock cooed at his son, setting him down on his feet. "Go get him!"

"Come here, Sonny! You gonna walk to me?"

Sonny took a few wobbly steps before he got close enough for Tony to reach out and snag him up.

"Woah, you're so big! Such a big walker, huh?" Tony praised the baby. "Did you see that, Harley? Did you see how big your friend is? Walking up on his feet like a big boy? You're gonna be doing that soon too."

Harley was already pulling himself up and walking around while holding onto things, so he probably would be walking soon. He was only a month behind Sonny in age, so they played really well together, for the most part at least. Sharing wasn't any baby's strong suit.

Tony set Sonny down in the playpen after they cooed over him for a few minutes and Harley immediately crawled up to him and tried to crawl on him. Sonny shoved him off, but Harley wasn't offended. He just giggled and rolled over onto his belly, so he could push back up and go after the ring stacker. Sam came over somewhat hesitantly. Brock had been pretty irritated this morning, so he wasn't sure if he should give him space or not.

"Hey, Tony! It's good to see you!"

"You too! Always happy to come over and eat all of your food."

Sam laughed.

"You doing good, babe?" Sam asked Brock carefully.

Brock nodded, biting his lip. He had been pretty distant and irritable the last few weeks and he felt bad about it. Sam didn't deserve that. He was such a good Alpha and a good dad.

"Yeah, I'm good, Alpha," Brock said, licking his lips.

He patted the cushion next to him.

"Wanna sit with me?"

Sam looked surprised for a moment, then he smiled softly and sat down, looking like he'd just been given the best gift ever when Brock curled into his side and rested his head on his shoulder.

"I've missed you," Sam murmured in his ear.

"Missed you too, Alpha."

*****

Brock was trying to make more of an effort and Sam definitely didn't miss the signs. He was more affectionate and he even got Sam a gift. It was important to point out that while Sam had felt the strain on their relationship, he hadn't really been upset at Brock about it. It was just one of those things where he assumed Brock would come around eventually and, well, he wasn't wrong.

"What is this?" Sam asked when Brock tossed a water bottle at him.

He caught it thanks to his great reflexes, not because Brock had given him any warning before throwing the metal cylinder his way. Brock rolled his eyes.

"What does it look like? It's a water bottle, Sam."

"Yeah, but why?"

"I got it for you," Brock said with a shrug.

Sam's heart fluttered at the thought of Brock getting him something, but his brows furrowed in confusion.

"I already have a water bottle."

"No, you don't. I threw it away."

Sam pursed his lips.

"May I ask why?"

"No, you may not," Brock said plopping down on the couch.

Sam raised his brow at him and Brock ignored him for a moment, flicking on the TV before glancing back at Sam with a groan.

"Fine, I got you a new one, because I read that the owner of Hydra Flask is an asshole who doesn't support Omega rights. I can't have my Alpha running around sporting that logo on his bottle, now can I? People might think you're a traditionalist. God forbid."

Sam blinked at him for a moment before a fond look fell over his features and he sat down next to Brock, pulling his Omega into his side. Brock blushed when Sam pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you, love."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Brock grunted, but he leaned into Sam's side, turning to press his face into Sam's neck and hide a small smile.

Sam could feel it against his neck, but he didn't comment on it. He just ran his fingers through Brock's hair until his Omega yawned and made a sleepy little whimper.

"Come on, baby. Let's go to bed," Sam said softly.

Brock grunted, but didn't protest when Sam scooped him up off the couch and carried him off to bed. His back hit the mattress and his hands shot out to grab Sam's shirt, whining when Sam gently pried his fingers off of him.

"Shh, you're okay. Just let me undress you, then I'll cuddle with you."

Brock pouted, but let his Alpha do what he wanted. When Sam climbed into the bed he was wearing only his boxers and Brock had on only his shirt. Brock usually liked to sleep naked, but he had whined when Sam asked him to sit up, so Sam had just rolled his eyes, pressed a kiss to his forehead and left his shirt on.

Sonny usually slept with them, even though he technically had a crib in the nursery, but tonight was one of those rare nights that he actually was using that crib that usually stood around empty like a decorative piece. Brock rubbed at his eyes, turning to press his face into Sam's neck and Sam smiled softly, wrapping his arms around him.

"Night, baby," Sam whispered softly.

"Night, Alpha, love you."

"Love you too, Omega."

Things weren't perfect between Sam and Brock, but that didn't mean they didn't love each other. Just because something isn't perfect, doesn't mean it's wrong.

6 notes · View notes

erin-bo-berin · 5 years

Text

Soulmates

So, I’ve finally returned after a break for the holidays. I immediately had this idea after watching the season 15 premiere (although I’ve seen some other people write about it too so obviously it’s a common subject), I wanted to make the Jeid situation even more complicated in this between Spencer, JJ and the reader. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: Mature (smut)

Word Count: 5,306

How is it that someone that makes you so happy can also make you so incredibly sad?

The thought floats through your mind as you play with the food on your plate.

It was Friday. You and your best friend’s weekly Chinese takeout night. Usually, the two of you would pig out on all your favorite Chinese dishes, binge watch something on Netflix and just hang out after a long week. Tonight was different. Although it had been for some time.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

You look up at Spencer. His usual happy face is filled with fatigue and sadness. He hadn’t been his usual self for a while and you knew it, though you tried not to broach the subject—for many reasons.

“Not really. Long day,” you fibbed, pushing the plate to the side.

“I know the feeling,” he sighed, taking a small bite.

You studied him, noticing that he looked even more tired than when you first met up earlier that evening. He looked drained, in fact.

“Tough case?”

You were used to hearing about cases that left wear and tear on your best friend. Being an FBI Agent in a specific unit dedicated to studying, analyzing and dealing with serial killers, it took a toll on Spencer.

“Actually, JJ and I finally talked.”

You felt your stomach drop at the words, the dread of what he was going to say next causing a white noise to block out your hearing as if it could block out his next words. This was the last thing you wanted to hear about, but you wouldn’t dare tell Spencer that. You would do anything for him, even if it meant listening to this again.

It had been a topic of conversation between the two of you for over six months. Well more or less Spencer talking, you listening and attempting to give advice.

“Oh? What did she say?”

You tried to swallow down the sense of dread as you took another bite of egg roll. For once, you didn’t enjoy the taste of the flaky, deep fried side.

Spencer sighed, running a hand through his hair. It had been hard on him, this last six months. Not only had JJ—his best friend of 15 years—confess that she actually loved him and always did, but then neither one of them knew how to talk about it, so they just kind of stopped talking altogether. Things had been awkward between them and Spencer had no idea how to process the information because JJ has a husband and two kids, who he adores.

As if things couldn’t get any more complicated, you just happened to be in love with Spencer too. That, though, he doesn’t know.

So basically you’re in love with your best friend who’s in love with his other best friend who loves him but is also married. Couldn’t be more simple, right?

You mentally groan at the thought. Your life has basically become a soap opera.

You have nothing against JJ. She’s pretty and super sweet and always has been welcoming to you the few times you’ve met her. She once joked that besides his mother, you and her were Spencer’s biggest fans. If only she knew.

At the same time, you can’t help but feel jealous because of her being so pretty and sweet. It’s no wonder Spencer has had feelings for her for years and of course you can’t blame her for loving Spencer either. You know how much he loves her kids—aka his godsons—and thinks that her husband Will is great for her. Spencer would always sacrifice his happiness for anyone else, especially for the ones he loves.

Even though it’s at a point where you know it won’t happen, you still feel a deep rooted envy at the fact that they share a bond and a love that you couldn’t even fathom having with Spencer yourself.

“Oh? What did she say?”

As hard as it is to listen to it, you’re concerned about him. He’s beaten himself up wondering what could’ve been, had he made the right choices. He even asked you if you thought he was living the right life. You couldn’t tell him that though, that’s only something he can answer himself.

“That she would’ve never told me if it hadn’t been for the circumstances.”

You nod, remembering how they’d been taken hostage by an unsub who seemed to have a truth or dare fetish. When asked, JJ opted for truth and the unsub wanted to hear her deepest, darkest secret or else she would die. Unfortunately, that’s what tumbled out and they’d been living with the damage of it since.

“But she never wanted to lie to me. She said she meant it. That...that I was-” he pauses, taking a deep breath as if he needs the extra strength to continue.

“That I was her first love and always will be.”

You flinch a bit at the words. That had to hurt. Oddly enough, you start to feel yourself become resigned towards the situation.

“Are you okay?”

He nods before continuing.

“Also that she also loves Will and the boys too. Basically it’s like in another universe maybe it could have happened, but it won’t in this one.”

Your heart hurts so badly. Not from your own hurt, but from seeing him suffer. You know he’s hurting and feels lost and you can’t help but feel guilty knowing how much hatred you’ve had towards the entire situation, even if it was only internally.

“Will you guys be alright?”

He nods again.

“She’s my best friend and she’s happy. She deserves to be happy.”

“And what about you? Don’t you deserve to be happy?”

“No.”

Your fork clangs on your plate, surprised as his negativity.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t deserve to be happy, Y/N,” he answers, looking at you dead on, his unhappiness seeping from every inch of him.

“Of course you do. That’s not fair to you.”

“Nor is it to anyone else when I can’t move on from JJ. All I’ve ever wanted was JJ.”

The rest of the night was uncharacteristically quiet after that and you parted ways much earlier than you usually did.

You had no idea where to go from here. You wanted to help him, be there for him but was it worth it when it constantly left you heartsick and worn? You didn’t have the answer to that.

It was like the situation between him and JJ. Just one of those complicated things.

•

Eight weeks after that one failed Chinese night, everything fell apart.

Work had been busier than usual for Spencer, often resulting in his cancelling plans with you.

Your work had been less busy, unfortunately giving you more time to dwell on your internalized feelings, even though you hated yourself for feeling such way. But you couldn’t stop your mind from thinking of all the time Spencer was around JJ. Regardless or not of him acting on his feelings, being around that person so much was only going to cause those feelings to linger.

You grumble to yourself as you force yourself to concentrate on your workload. Thinking these things are only gonna make you more miserable, regardless if you can’t help them.

To make matters worse, you’ve started to avoid Spencer. All you want to do is to see him, but when he’s actually free, you come up with an excuse why you can’t hang out.

As if reading your mind, your phone buzzes next to you on your desk and you glance over to see a text from Spencer.

Coffee after work tonight? I miss you.

If you were to admit it to yourself, you missed him too. A lot. But you also missed how things used to be, before the complicated situation with JJ and if you were honest, before you realized you were in love with him. Things were so much simpler then.

Can’t. Sorry. Already have plans.

You watch the three gray dots appear on the screen, indicating his typing and watch them for a long moment before they disappear. No new message appeared and you sigh, setting your phone back down and pushing him as far from your mind as you can.

•

You’re on your couch later that night watching some sappy romance movie you found on TV. It’s not helping your mood much. Contrary to what you’d told Spencer, you had no plans. Unless you counted eating mint chocolate chip ice cream in your pajamas and watching tv like a lovesick puppy, plans.

“Don’t do it chica, you’re only gonna get friend zoned,” you mumble to the tv, taking a bite of ice cream.

A loud knock comes from your front door, startling you. You’d been awaiting an Amazon package all evening and figured it was finally the delivery man.

Setting the ice cream carton on the coffee table, you pad towards the door and open it to find out it’s not the delivery man. It’s Spencer.

He smiles at you before pulling you into a hug, his face nuzzling into your neck, a trait he always does when he hugs someone. Something you absolutely love. You feel your heart tug painfully as he hugs you tight as if he hasn’t seen you in forever. Technically, he hasn’t.

“Hey, I’ve missed your face, he says, pulling away.

“Sorry to just bust in like this. But I had to drop something off for Emily and I thought I’d stop by while I was out. Didn’t you say you had plans?”

His eyes sweep over the living room in front of him, landing on the carton of ice cream then flicking to the television.

“I- uh yeah I kinda did,” you stammer, unable to come up with a good enough excuse.

He rolls his eyes at you, motioning to the scene in front of the two of you, “Are you on your period? You could’ve just told me and I’d picked up ice cream and come to hang out with you anyway.”

You groan, turning to walk into your apartment, Spencer at your heels.

“I can’t believe you’d think to ask if it’s that. But no, I’m not.”

What? It’s a normal thing all women go through,” he shrugged, unfazed about the topic at all.

“I know you didn’t come by just to talk about my menstrual cycle Spencer.”

“No,” he said, more serious now.

He takes a seat on your couch and you stand in front of him, trying to keep your distance. You’d really like to save yourself some heartache tonight.

“I came because I’ve missed you. I’m sorry we haven’t been able to hang out like we usually have. Work has been crazy, then there was JJ’s surprise birthday party last weekend.”

JJ, of course, you thought bitterly.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to come but you said you were busy all weekend…”

Another lie. You just didn’t want to be around the two of them honestly. It was petty, you knew it, but it hurt to see them together. Especially with all that you knew.

“Sorry about that. I hope she had a good time?”

“She did,” he grinned, launching into telling her about the party, but you only half listened.

What would he do if you ever confessed your feelings for him? Would he be freaked out? Would it scare him away? Most importantly, would it just make his life more difficult?

Yes, probably.

Which is why you couldn’t ever tell him.

It was at this point that you realized he’d stopped speaking and you were still staring at him with your arms crossed. A highly defensive position. Something he would obviously catch on to. You watch as he takes notice of your body language and it’s like you see the moment he realizes something’s wrong. He knows you just about as well as you know yourself, in fact.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concern flooding his features.

“Nothing.”

You drop your arms, trying to appear less defensive, but you’re still tense.

“I’m not stupid, Y/N,” Spencer retorts, watching as you walk over and turn off the tv, “I know something’s wrong. Have you been avoiding me?”

“No.”

You don’t look at him when you answer.

“Then look at me.”

You do as you’re told and you’re sure your guilt is written all over your face.

“Have I done something wrong?”

The hurt expression etched on his face causes a fresh wave of pain to wash over you. The last thing you want is to ever hurt him, he doesn’t deserve it.

“No, you haven’t done anything Spencer.”

“You’re not upset about the whole JJ situation are you?”

Your breath catches, as if frozen in your lungs. If only he realized just how on the mark that was.

“I know it’s been a mess with that entire thing, but it doesn’t change things for us. You’re still my best friend, you know that.”

Best. Friend.

You choke down the lump that has suddenly formed in your throat, the answers to all the questions that have been occupying your mind suddenly confirmed. He was never going to love you more than a friend and that was that.

“I talked to JJ about it too. She knows I’ve been confiding in you about it all and she feels bad about it affecting our friendship too.”

You laugh bitterly.

“It’s a little late for that.”

Confusion is all over his face now, mingled with the hurt.

“She said she’d like to get together with you sometime, maybe to make it up to you or maybe we can all hang out and—”

“Spencer, I’m tired. I think I just want to go to bed okay?”

You walk toward the door and you hear him stand from the couch.

“No. Not until you tell me what’s bothering you, Y/N.”

The tears are threatening to come. If you’re not careful they’re going to spill any second. All of a sudden you’re so weary, so drained. You’re just so very tired of carrying this.

“If you have to ask…” you whisper, your lips trembling.

You do not want to cry in front of him. You refuse to. Then he’ll really know something’s wrong.

“I just want to know what’s wro—”

“Can you please just leave? I just want to be alone.”

He knows you well enough to know when to not bother arguing with you.

You catch a glimpse of each other as he walks past you to the door. He looks crestfallen, but his eyes search your face. Your expression is hard, closed to any emotion as to not betray your true feelings.

When the door closes behind him, you sink against the door to the floor, the tears finally coming. You sob so hard your body shakes violently. The hurt is such a deep sinkhole within you that you have no idea how you’re ever going to climb out of it.

•

He doesn’t know how it happens, but after driving around for nearly an hour, he ends up at JJ’s house.

Spencer gets out of the car, walking up the sidewalk to her front door. He hopes it’s not too late to be dropping in, but there’s no one else he knows to turn to about this.

He replayed the scene over and over in his mind, trying to figure out what was wrong, what had happened. Life had been so confusing lately and it seemed like when he had everything figured out it would just throw him another curveball.

While things were rough and awkward with JJ for months, things were good and albeit normal with Y/N. Now that things were better—maybe a bit different—but still better with JJ, his friendship with Y/N had gone to hell.

His IQ may be 187, but women were always confusing no matter if you were technically a genius or not.

JJ was the one who would know what to do. She’d helped him through so much shit before, he knew she could again.

The doorbell only rang once when the door opened to reveal Will.

“Hey man,” he grinned.

“You must’ve heard we had my award winning spaghetti for dinner tonight and came by for leftovers didn’t ya?” Will joked.

Spencer chuckled. He really did like Will; regardless of what had happened between himself and JJ, he knew Will was good for her and treated her right.

“Unfortunately not tonight. I was wondering if I could talk to JJ if she’s not busy?”

“Sure,” Will stepped aside, inviting him in, “Case you’re working on?”

“Something like that,” Spencer answered vaguely.

Before Will could answer, there was a shout that came from the other room.

“Uncle Spencerrrr!”

A tiny body came flying at him and he picked up Michael in his arms, spinning him around and hugging him at the same time.

“Hey Michael, how are you?”

“Good,” he grinned.

“Hi Uncle Spencer,” came another voice and Spencer looked up to see his other godson, the older Henry who was now too old to be picked up and spun around like he once did.

“Hey Henry.” He gave him a high five as Henry passed to the stairs.

“Michael, bedtime,” JJ scolded as she walked in the room not far behind her oldest son.

“Hey Spence,” she greeted, smiling at him.

“Just let me get these boys into bed and I’ll be right down.”

“You go ahead, I’ll tuck in the boys,” Will offered, taking Michael from Spencer’s arms.

“Come on little man. Bedtime. Tell uncle Spencer goodnight.”

“Night uncle Spencer!” the two chorused.

“Night guys,” Spencer smiled, watching Will disappear out of sight before turning to JJ.

“What’s up? I heard you tell Will it’s case related?”

“Not exactly,” he sighed, “I just didn’t want to get into my sob story.”

JJ took in his tired and worried expression with worry of her own.

“Come on into the kitchen and I’ll make us some tea and we can talk, okay?”

He nodded and followed her into the kitchen, taking a seat at the island as she filled the tea kettle with water and put it on the stove to heat.

“Now. Spill, Spence. I know you well enough to know when something is eating at you.”

“You’d think it’d be enough to know a person to be able to tell what’s wrong with them,” he muttered.

JJ’s look of confusion makes him shake his head and start at the beginning.

“So she’s been avoiding you until you went over there today?”

Tea is poured into two cups and she sits in the chair next to him, listening to him continue his story.

“She said she had plans, but I thought I’d drop in and see if I could catch her. If not, I was going to leave a note under her door. We used to do that all the time,” he smiles ruefully.

“And she didn’t have any plans?”

“Didn’t seem like it. She was on the couch in pjs, watching TV and eating a carton of ice cream. I mean I thought she was on her period and—”

“Okay stop right there,” JJ set her cup down, holding up a hand.

“Never and I repeat never assume a girl is upset just because of her period.”

His browns wrinkled in confusion, “Why?”

“Just trust me Spence, it’ll save you a whole lot of time. Okay, continue.”

“Well, um, she said she wasn’t anyway. But then she just seemed...I don’t know, upset. I don’t know why. I don’t know if I did something. I was telling her that you felt bad about potentially affecting our friendship and I told her that she was always going to be my best friend and she threw me out.”

“Oh no,” JJ whispered.

“No, no it’s not your fault!” he rushed to explain.

“You idiot,” she groaned, hitting his shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“You told her that she’d always be your best friend?!”

“Well...yeah, I mean it’s true. We’ve been friends forever like you and me.”

“That’s not all you and her have in common with you and me,” JJ stated.

“What do you mean?”

She sighed, running a finger around the lip of the mug.

“You know how when I confessed that I loved you?”

Spencer nods, still a little uncomfortable with the entire topic.

“I did mean it. I do love you. But there’s so many types of love, Spence. I may have been in love with you at one point and I’ll always have a love for you. But I’m not in love with you like I am with Will, but I do love you.”

“I’m not following. What does that have to do with me and Y/N?”

“She doesn’t just love you, Spence.”

She watches as realization slowly spreads across his face.

“She’s in love with you.”

“But how can you tell that when I never figured that out? You’ve only met her a few times anyway.”

“Spencer if you’d see the way she looks at you, you’d know.”

“Oh,” he breathed, running a hand over his face, “Oh wow.”

“What? Don’t tell me you don’t feel the same,” she grimaced, “Because that might be a worse effect on your relationship with her than in our situation.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just- it kinda dawned on me when I was on the way to her place from work that all of this time I had hoped for a life with you when actually I don’t, really.”

Her brows rose, interested, motioning for him to go on.

“I mean, I love my life as it is now and how things are with you now. You’re happy and that makes me happy and I’d rather have a life with you as my best friend than have a life without you in it at all.”

JJ smiled, putting a hand on his cheek before pulling him into a hug.

“She makes you happy Spence. Catch her before she gets away.”

•

You haven’t seen or spoken to Spencer for over a week since your meltdown. You realized just how shitty you felt for treating him so horribly. It wasn’t his fault that you fell for him, so you shouldn’t have taken it out on him.

You attempt several times to reach out to him to apologize, but stop yourself every time. What if he’s better off without you in his life?

Your week goes by in a blur as you live on autopilot, going to work, running errands and just living like a zombie. Your mind is filled with nothing but Spencer. All the memories you have with him float around in your brain like a collage, revealing themselves one by one.

One in particular will always stand out: the night that you realized you were in love with him.

It wasn’t unusual for you and Spencer to meet up for dinner after work. This evening in particular was a dreary one. It looked like it would pour at any moment.

You ordered a cheeseburger and fries while Spencer got a steak and veggies although that didn’t stop him from eating half of your fries.

“Hey!” You smacked his hand for the hundredth time after he snagged another fry.

“If you wanted fries that badly you should’ve just gotten them yourself,” you grumbled, only half mad.

“But for some reason they just always taste better off your plate,” he laughed, grabbing a couple more.

You grumble a response not loud enough to hear, but that just makes him laugh even more.

“You love me.”

“You’re lucky I do,” you smirk, swiping your finger through your puddle of ketchup and placing a blob on his nose when he reached for more fries.

“Did you just-” he wipes some off his nose, staring at you incredulously.

“Yes, yes I did.”

He grins and wipes it off with a napkin. He doesn’t take any more fries after that.

He drives you home since you took the subway from work. Of course with your luck it decides to pour right before you get home. You could dash to the front door of your building as fast as you can and still get soaked.

“Stay here for a second okay?” Spencer instructs.

You look at him quizzically as he gets out and runs across to your side, opening your door.

“I can get you to the door faster. Here.”

He helps you unbuckle your seatbelt and he picks you up, running with you in his arms and you shriek with laughter at the unexpected gesture.

True to his word, he got you there quickly and when you’re safely under the shelter of the roof of the front of your apartment building, he sets you down.

His hair is wet and dripping, falling into his eyes and drops of water fall off his face to his wet shirt and tie. You weren’t spared much either as your hair and clothes are just as soaked, but it could’ve been worse.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you chuckled.

“Hey, think of it as payback for the fries.”

You smile and are about to invite him up to dry off when he hands over a small styrofoam to go box. You hadn’t even realized he was holding it before he picked you up.

“What’s this?”

“Dessert. Your favorite. I figured you deserved it after I ate your fries.”

You grin, surprised and open the container briefly to peak at the chocolate cake that is your favorite from the restaurant.

“Thank you, Spencer.”

It was at that moment when you looked up at him and saw the twinkle in his eyes, the big smile on his face, water droplets running down his skin and in dripping wet clothes you realized that he was the most beautiful man, in more ways than one.

A noise from what sounds like the hallway brings you out of your reverie. Walking toward the door from the kitchen you catch a glimpse of white.

Looking down, you notice it’s a folded piece of paper. You pick it up and open it to read it and your breath catches in your throat as you read the words in the all too familiar writing.

I love you, too.

You open the door, intent on finding the sender to find him standing in the hallway.

“Spencer,” you breathe.

“H-How? How did you know?” you asked.

“JJ helped me figure it out.”

You exhale, overwhelmed with what’s happening.

“I mean it when I say she never meant to come between us or to hurt our relationship.”

“No, I know,” you nod, your mind moving so fast you’re not entirely sure you’re processing everything.

“I never hated her or anything. I mean I couldn’t exactly blame her for, you know, loving you.”

Somehow during the conversation he’s ended up in your apartment and you’d closed the door, although you’re not entirely sure when that happened.

“I was scared to open myself up to someone else,” he admits, “I didn’t know it consciously before the confession though. But I do now.”

You nod, looking up at him, startling the slightest when your back hits the wall. He’s got you quite literally backed into a corner.

“You want to know what’s funny though?”

“What?” you whisper.

Your breath is heavy, your chest heaving. The desire to kiss him is so strong, your desire to have him is even stronger. You’re hanging onto his every word and he knows it.

“That night when I dropped by, I was going to tell you that I realized I didn’t want a life with JJ.”

“You don’t?”

You watch him, his tongue moving over his lips before he answers. You might’ve gone a little weak in the knees at the action.

“I like this life better.”

Then it’s happening. His head bends down towards yours and yours reaches up to meet his, your lips meeting. It’s a feeling beyond anything you could ever imagine. His lips are soft and gentle against your own and his hands caress your face before gliding down to rest on your neck. You decided if this was the way to die, kissing him until you had no breath left was a wonderful way to go.

“I’m,” he kisses you again.

“So,” followed by another kiss.

“Sorry,” he breathes, connecting your lips again.

“For what?”

You’d pretty much forgive him for about anything right now as your brain has completely fizzled out the moment his lips connected with your neck.

“Everything. For hurting you. I never intended to.”

He pulls back from you completely, his hands at the edge of your shirt, eyes seeking permission.

“It’s okay,” you answer both things at once.

Your eyes flicker to the piece of clothing as it hits the floor. You feel him lift you, his hands under the back of your thighs and your eyes meet his. Suddenly you feel timid in his presence, something you’ve never felt.

“I got you,” he whispered then pressed his lips against yours.

You’re not exactly sure how much time passed spent kissing, hands roaming, trying to memorize one another. Clothes melt away, kisses spread over bare skin.

When he’s finally inside you, your mind completely blanks of everything but him and this moment. You catch his lips again but you can’t stop the whimpers that come from you as he moves within you.

Your fingers tighten in his hair as you kiss him harder, all your previous frustration, sadness and love poured into the one kiss. His hands grip your hips, his gentle movements becoming harsher.

With his lips pressed against your throat, he says, “I want to hear you say it.”

You half hum and half moan your questioning hmm.

“That you love me.”

His eyes lock on yours and he watches you, knowing you’re coming apart at his doing.

“Oh God, Spencer,” your legs inadvertently tighten around his waist as you moan, “I love you.”

His low groan of approval is like music to your ears and sends tingles down your spine. That and his erratic thrusts about send you spiraling right then.

“Y/N,” he whispers, your name falling from his lips repeatedly as he loses himself in the wonderful feeling.

Your chest is heaving again and your body is tense, ready to succumb completely to him.

Fire explodes through your veins at a lightning speed and you moan loudly, most likely embarrassingly loudly but you couldn’t care. It’s Spencer, and like it’s always been, you couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed about anything around him.

Ecstasy takes its turn with him and you watch through lidded eyes at the complete look of abandon cross his face. With his eyes shut and lips parted there’s something so vulnerable about him as he completely loses himself in you.

“Spencer,” you whisper when you both have parted and caught your breath.

You’re watching him, a shy smile on your face as if you’ve dreamed this entire scenario.

“Hmm?”

He’s set you down on the floor again and you have to rely on the wall to hold yourself up because your legs are nearly jello at this point.

He’s in the middle of grabbing up the clothes for you when he reaches out to steady you.

“Whoa there,” he chuckles, catching you before you can fall and most likely melt into a puddle.

“I love you,” you say again.

Now that you’ve actually said it out loud, you don’t want to stop saying it. With one arm still around your waist to steady you, his other hand brushes your cheek before pulling your face towards his for another kiss. His breath tickles your face when he speaks once again.

“I love you.”

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #dr spencer reid fic #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid gifs #spencer reid smut #Criminal Minds #criminal minds gifs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds smut

916 notes · View notes

iwantitiwriteit · 4 years

Text

Love Lockdown - Part 2

Big Girl With a Brave Face

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: You brace yourself for your FaceTime with Chris.

Warnings: Angst, Pandemic backdrop, Profanity

Notes: More heart strumming feels! Read the previous part! Gonna try and put these up on Monday’s starting next week 8/10, along with In My Feelings Monday™, when my asks will be open for all your romantic musings! Let’s get sweet and sappy y’all! I know you wanna 🥰

The sun shines down, a crisp wind whisking by you every so often; applause for your hard work in the garden. You found a circadian rhythm. Grasp, pull, dump. Grasp, pull, dump. It afforded you an opportunity to get lost in thought… and memory.

You just don’t get it, do you?

Baby, I want to!

Why didn’t you say anything?

Would it have mattered?

I think we can both agree we need the space…

We need to talk…

I love you.

I love you too.

“Are you okay Aunty?” Iris’ innocent voice drifts into your trance but doesn’t break it completely.

You absentmindedly respond. “Uh huh. Why do you ask?”

“Probably ‘cos you're pulling at those weeds so ferociously I think you might’ve got a few good plants,” Ines answers for her younger sister, the teenage ‘tude snapping you to reality.

You assess your handiwork and sure enough, in your pile of weeds, some good plants lie there with them, undeservedly plucked from the earth. “Oh, my bad,” you sheepishly apologize.

“It’s okay. The only difference between a weed and a flower is judgment. Here,” Ines shuffles over to your spot.

“Ines, you’re wise beyond your years, you know that?” You stand up, placing your palms on your lower back, arching and stretching in a moment of respite. Looking over your nieces tending to the greenery you botched, their youthful vigor bring a genuine smile to your face. Those have been few and far in between these days.

“I know, right? Could you tell my mom for me?” she kids, making you laugh. “It couldn’t have been that long since it was you and Mama doing this,” Ines smirks at you briefly before refocusing on rerooting.

You chuckle, “Ha! Feels like a lifetime ago. But, yeah, it really hasn’t been that long. Guess I just kinda lost touch.”

“Do you miss it? Do you miss being here?” Iris asks.

“Umm… honestly?” The both of them look up at you, eyes wide and expectant. “I thought I didn’t. L.A. can be blinding in that way. But now that I’m here, I feel a little more… myself. Not to mention that I’ve missed you girls soo much! C’mere!”

A niece under each arm, hugging your middle tightly, you can feel how much they’ve missed you as well. You want to be a better aunt to them. Your love for your family is as expansive as the family farm you marvel at in front of you. Acres of green going beyond the quaint garden near the house, with the barn just behind the rustic office and rec building where the farmers are currently gathered for lunch just a few feet away. But your feelings were much like half your sister’s employees as of late; they didn’t show, especially in crisis.

Through one of the windows, you catch sight of a familiar profile; hand to his temple pressing deep into his smooth, mahogany skin, thick, dark brows knitted together in concentration, plump lips puckered as he writes furiously, occasionally taking a bite of his sandwich. He must feel your eyes because he looks up to meet them, breaking focus from his working lunch. The hand that was to his temple is now raised for a tentative wave, just as the corner of his mouth is raised for a beautiful, sweet smile.

Your shoulders tense, your wave is curt, and your smile is barely there. You avert your eyes not wanting to see the effect of your abrupt actions.

“I know Keith is glad you’re back, too.” You look down to see Iris looking up at you, her 10 year old face contorted into her best suggestive look.

Ines rolls her eyes at her sister’s antics, “Oh, stop it! She’s already got the most perfect, dreamy boyfriend, remember?”

“Well, I’ve never met him. Have you? How do we know if he’s even real?”

“She’s got a point. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“If he thinks he's too good to come down south, meet your family, let me tell you something Aunty, that’s not the kind of man you should be with.”

“I don’t think Aunty had ‘take dating advice from a child’ on her quarantine to-do list. Maybe he’s just busy; he is a movie star— correction— a superhero! Superhero equals stable income, stable income means husband material. Simple math.”

“Well, Keith has a stable and would never be too busy for her!”

“Keith runs a stable… a horse stable. Not exactly a selling point, right Aunty?”

“Aunty, tell her she’s wrong!”

The girls get to bickering and you wipe your forehead, not too sure if it’s from the heat or the interrogation you’re enduring. You check your watch. 1:39 pm.

“Shit!” Your exclamation silences your nieces as they whip their heads towards you. “Sorry ladies,” you offer an apologetic smile for the obscenity. “I, uh, gotta get ready for a call. Let’s turn it in early, yeah?” They race in the house without a second thought, and you trail behind them.

You remove your shoes in the mud room, then stalk down the hall toward the main part of the house. You wave to your sister as you pass her home office where she’s pacing, busy on the phone, swamped in paperwork. She waves you over with a confused face and shrugs as she sees her girls buzzing around.

You go to lean in the door jamb of her office as she asks, “What brings y’all inside so early? Wasn’t expecting you to be back in for another couple hours.”

“I have that FaceTime call at 2 I gotta get ready for, remember?”

“Right, right… remind me again. It’s for a writing gig?” she asks, sifting through her mountain of papers, as distracted as she was this morning when you told her your afternoon plans.

“Uh, no. It’s um, with… Chris,” your voice trails off with each word.

Your sister whips her head around, interest now piqued. “Really? That’s good, right?”

You shrug and sigh, indifference in your expression, “It’s, y'know… whatever, Mina.”

Wilhelmina furrows her brows, “What’s wrong?” Before you could contemplate an excuse, she puts a finger up to you, “Yes, thank you, I’m trying to get in touch with…” she answers to the person on the other line.

Your watch buzzes with your 15 minute reminder for your FaceTime with Chris. “I gotta go,” you tell your sister, before turning to head upstairs. The ascension to the second level feels like a death march, the impending doom of your relationship finally setting in. Each step feels increasingly weighted. Once at the top of the staircase, you pinch the bridge of your nose as if that will alleviate your anxieties.

“Let’s get you ready,” Wilhelmina’s maternal voice drifts to you as she comes up the stairs, melting your nerves a little. She shoots you a pity smile before ushering you into your guest room, where you make a B-line for the bathroom.

You take your time and delicately wash away the grime and sweat from your face. It’s like a Neutrogena commercial, the way you come up from the sink, staring yourself in the mirror. You take note of the creases in your forehead caused by your tense brows, the pain in your eyes, your overall sullen expression. And this feeling. This feeling is like being suspended mid-air, knowing the dreadful drop was any minute now.

You know very well who is in control of the drop. You just don’t know when you gave up that control to him. The only thing you can do now is go with grace. In an effort to have some sense of control, you did what anyone in your situation would do: You turned to Google.

“what to do when your boyfriend is about to break up with you” is what you typed into the search engine this morning. You felt like a teenager. Young and dumb. Like you’d never been in a relationship before. Like you’d never been broken up with before. None of this is new. And yet, it is. You hadn’t been here before. You hadn’t known this feeling before.

The feeling of knowing the one to make the dreadful drop happen is the same one that you love more than you knew was even possible, and damn did it hurt like hell. But could it have hurt more than knowing you’re the one that brought him to this point? Especially when you know these deep feelings are requited? The love is requited.

Who knows. You just file these feelings away for later in the hopes that it’ll inspire your pen. Right now it’s time to put on a brave face. You’ve gotten so good at it.

“So, what brought this on?” Wilhelmina inquiries after a few minutes of you lollygagging in front of the bathroom mirror.

“Oh, umm… well, he called last night. It was the first time we talked since—”

“You got here.”

“Yeah, but who’s counting,” your deadpan earns you a disapproving look from your sister. You’ve learned to ignore it. You check the time. 5 til. “Ugh, I don’t have time to pretty myself up. Breakups are ugly anyways; guess I’ll have to be, too,” you joke, leaving Whilelmina bewildered.

“Wait, what? You’re dumping him? I know it’s tough, trust me, I get it, but—”

“No... he’s gonna dump me,” you correct her.

“What would make you think that?”

“I don’t know, maybe cos he said ‘we need to talk… for real’,” you mock his deep voice; it’s how you read his text last night in your head, “and we all know what that means…”

“Hold up, it doesn’t necessarily mean that!”

“C’mon Mina! It’s textbook breakup prep!”

“Maybe for a teenager, but he’s a grown ass man. If he says he wants to talk, he probably just wants to talk.”

“Yeah, about dumping you…” Ines mumbles under her breath from the doorway. Wilhelmina stares daggers into her mouthy daughter, and she shrinks away to mind her business.

You continue to get ready, mainly focusing on laying your edges before finding a new shirt. “So, why would he suggest we quarantine separately knowing we had issues we were working on?” you debate your sister.

“Because like he said: you need some space. Totally normal for maintaining a healthy relationship.”

“Is it though? Cos when I say “I need space”, I’m thinking about making an exit. And that’s on a good, non-pandemic day. Hell, our issues alone would make me bow out. Now you add this stressful shit on top?”

“Then why haven’t you?”

Her simple question makes you stop in tracks, your brave face wavering for just a moment. “B-Because— it doesn’t matter. He’s ending things with me, in,” you check the time, “3 minutes. And I don’t blame him! I’ve been a mess lately! An emotional wreck lately! You should’ve heard me last night, it was gross!”

Wilhelmina starts to chuckle at your dramatics, but you can tell she’s laughing at you, not with you. “What’s so funny?”

“Sweetheart, you’d have to show emotions to be an emotional wreck. I think you skipped a few steps.”

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes as you peel off your sweaty shirt and toss it in the laundry basket. You take your wash cloth to dab your underarms before putting on a nicer top. A proper shower will have to wait til later.

“I’ll have you know that I do, in fact, have emotions. I just channel them into my writing, to avoid sapping them all over any- and everyone… like some people I know,” you quirk your brow and tilt your head in Wilhelmina‘s direction.

“Girl, whatever! From what you told me, Chris is as much a romantic as I am, maybe even more so. You don’t hate it as much as you let on. Just admit it.”

You slowly turn away from Wilhelmina to primp yourself in the full length mirror. She follows you, glaring at you in hopes she will break you down. You decide to throw her a bone.

“Last night, I told him how we should’ve been together right now. There was even a quiver in my voice because I do really, really miss him. It was all so, so...” Your sister’s hands are clutching her chest, eyes glazed like she was watching a romcom. She’d finally gotten through to you. “… so pathetic.” Or so she’d thought. The sound of frustration that came from her amused you greatly, your eyes now glazed from crying of laughter.

“See, that’s what the hell I'm talking about! If he brings emotion— vulnerability— out of you, why do you resist? He’s worth keeping around, sis. I would think you: an artist, a writer for god’s sakes, would find some value in that.”

You stare straight ahead, fixing imaginary stray curls in your hair, and avoiding eye contact with Wilhelmina. She awaits your response, brows raised, neck craned toward you, hands below her chest with palms up, as if to say ‘Sooo...???’. You wondered how long she’d stay like that before you said something. “Are you done?”

Your sister sighs, and it’s quickly followed by ringing from your laptop. You both look in its direction, then at each other. The moment you’d been bracing for all day is here. You hesitantly move towards the chair at your desk where your laptop is sat.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Wilhelmina says before excusing herself. You almost didn’t want her to go. But you’ve got to be a big girl with a brave face.

“One last thing?” you twist in your chair to look at her in your doorway, “I know who made you believe that big girls don’t cry, but it’s bullshit. It’s good to feel. It’s okay to show it sometimes, too. Especially with the ones who showed and proved they won’t judge you for it,” she motions to your still ringing computer before closing your door.

You turn back to your desk, swallowing thickly. Here goes. You answer the call and Chris’ smiling face fills your screen. That beautiful face that’s worth doing right by.

“Hey baby! For a second there, I thought you wouldn’t answer,” he nervously chuckles.

You smile at him but it doesn’t reach your eyes. He senses your apprehension. Even through a screen, he’s perceptive. Chris starts to small talk, rambling about work and the weather, intending to ease your guard down before getting to the tough stuff. But it’s absolutely painful pretending to be strangers.

“Chris?”

“Yes honey?”

“I don’t wanna do this with you.”

Part 3

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans imagine #chris evans one shot #Chris Evans series #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans angst #chris evans x woc #chris evans series #chris evans #love lockdown series

120 notes · View notes