#so claire you get this very random pic

[skitskatdacat63]

hellooo <33 15 feb for dates??

Originally I was gonna give you just the screenshot I had of my birthday countdown, but I realized ig I was helping my dad with his old car that day. Shame tho I can't share the one pic I thought has rly good composition ah(cause I'm not tryna dox my dad shfkkffl)

[m00nlight-ramblings]

BG3 Companion Modern AU Headcanons

These random thoughts popped into my mind and I had to write them down. I love these little weirdos, and some of them probably don't make sense but OH WELL.

Should I do a Part 2 with more companions?? Let me know - my inbox and requests are open!

------

Astarion

This dude's got iPad kid energy - he loves to scroll Tiktok for hours.

He gets bi-weekly pedicures. And not the basic kind - the full on 1.5 hour long with the massage and the mask and the exfoliation.

His favorite holiday is Halloween. He plans his costume starting in August.

He'd be the type of person to be walking through a mall, see a Claire's, and spontaneously decide to get his ears pierced idk.

Is really into metal. Like, you'll come home and Metallica will be blasting and you walk into the bedroom and he's folding laundry and just like, "Oh, HELLO, Darling!" but will have to scream it over the volume in which he's listening to music

Will truly take an hour picking out the perfect wine to pair with your dinner...he's definitely a wine snob.

The cheapest article of clothing Astarion owns is from Banana Republic and it's an undershirt...everything else is ~*very fancy*~

Loves watching all types of vampire movies/TV shows. He can often be heard saying, "Oh no, they got that all wrong" under his breath.

He definitely reads like 1-2 books a week. He's recently really gotten in spicy smut books (he definitely got recommendations from BookTok).

For sure falls asleep to ASMR videos.

Gale

This man loves HGTV *queue Home Depot commercial music*

Has the most absolutely beautiful, clean home you've ever seen with about 30 bookcases CRAMMED with books. The books are the only disorganized thing in his home because he constantly is reading them, so alphabetizing them is useless.

Pinterest is his most used phone app. His boards are carefully curated. That man has a recipe/inspiration pic/quote for EVERYTHING.

Definitely volunteers at the animal shelter once a month. Often times has to talk himself out of bringing a cat home.

LUSH is his favorite store at the mall. He loves them bath bombs.

He THROWS DOWN at holiday parties...Christmas? Thanksgiving? The table is SET. The decorations are UP. He's wearing an APRON because he's been cooking ALL day. The playlist is PERFECT.

Speaking of holidays, he has matching pajama sets for everyone in the household. For every. Holiday.

Fall is absolutely his favorite season. "Sweetheart...have you ever watched 'When Harry Met Sally'? Perfect autumn movie...also I bought a new scarf today to go with my new peacoat. And mittens. And a new hat...it's getting cold outside."

He definitely has a Live. Laugh. Love. adjacent sign somewhere in his home

He definitely needs glasses to read. And he for sure has those librarian chains so that he can just take them off and they hang, instead of losing them.

Karlach

Absolutely loves to eat meals watching Youtube videos.

Imagine her in Times Square? She tears the M&M's store UP.

Is obsessed with documentaries. She often says things like "I can't believe there's so much stuff to LEARN out there!"

Definitely has a Squishmallow collection. And she rotates which one she sleeps with every night so they all get a chance.

Is absolutely the worst cook of all time but tries really really hard...however, she can make a mean boxed mac n' cheese.

Has an obsession with sugary cereal. There's always Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Fruity Pebbles in her cabinets.

Certified Switie for SURE.

Is really into astrology. Definitely has said, "Oh, you're just saying that because you're a SCORPIO" or the like many, many times.

Absolute Starbucks addiction (venti iced caramel macchiato, extra caramel).

Has monthly "girl's nights" (but everyone is invited) at her place. The rules are: pajamas only, junk food, romcoms, and a playlist of the best pop songs in the past 20 years.

------

How'd y'all like it...should I make a part two with other companions?! Remember my inbox is open and I'm accepting requests!! I'd love to write some stuff so send it in!

[pamet-u-glavuuu]

SECOND HALF - 2023 PREDICTIONS

One month vacation on the Mediterranean (mainly Croatia and Greece)

Nikki and Claire will meet somewhere and we will have photo proof

one of the brothers will admit that Noon is very good dog and that he and tessa get along very well

Z magazine cover

TZ will appear at the Beyonce concert

hot TZ pictures from LA

TZ will watch a tennis match together and we will have a lot of pictures

Tom will attend both Challengers and Dune premiere

June 1st Z will post a cute picture for Tom's birthday

September 1st Tom will post a cute picture for Z's birthday

someone will spill juicy tea about TZ

T will announce a new project which is a romcom

Z will star in a horror film

On the press tour, Z will say how much she wants to become a mother

Amanda will spill some tea from tcr set when Z was with them

Tom will post a picture of Z with a cute caption

Tom will appear on one of Claire's ig lives to help her sell stones because her business is failing and Tom is a good salesman so he can save her.

we will finally see the design of Tom's signet ring

8k kissing pics on the beach

Z in London again

Rachel finally cut Tom's hair

Tom and Z announced together Spider-man 4

euphoria and sam levinson cancelled

Tom will spill the tea from 1.0 during the tcr press

we will get TZ in jerseys 2.0 ("Holland" on both jerseys)

we will see other parts of Tom's house

Tom and Z will go on romantic getaway somewhere in LA to celebrate T's birthday

Z will post a story - watching TCR and she will praise him

Tom will again talk about his imaginary daughter

Z will talk about her London life

some random fan will post a throwback picture of them when they were in the caribbean

‼️‼️‼️I made this for entertainment purposes please don't judge me, thank you.‼️‼️‼️

[bisluthq]

If the Matt smith Olivia cooke rumors r true he has legendary game cuz she is like the most beautiful woman I've ever seen

he DOES have legendary game tho dude like this is just a fucking fact atp. Not counting hookups, here are some of the women he's had relationships with:

Billie Piper

Lily James

Daisy Lowe

Mayana Moura

Caroline Brady (who's not only hot af but the VP of a major hedge fund lol so she's clearly smart and shit too)

P sure he also dated/went on dates with:

Emilia Clarke

Alexa Chung

Lili Gattyan

Jeanne Moret

Sophie Russell (could've actually worked idk they were set up by a mutual friend and they could be in the top category where they did have a relationship)

Emma Laird lol

Likely had affairs/hookups with:

Karen Gillan

Claire Foy

THAT'S ACTUALLY JUST WHAT I REMEMBER LMAO THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER RANDOMS DUDES AND THEY ARE ALWAYS HOT AND/OR SUCCESSFUL

THIS DUDE HAS UNSPEAKABLE FUCKING GAME!!!!!

So yes I buy the Olivia Cooke thing lol also because with Lily, Emilia, Emma Laird, Claire and Karen he met them all through work and I think he and Emilia did try actually date and he and Claire had an affair vibe and him and Karen were hooking up FWB style and him and Emma I think went on a date or two or three or whatever but yea idk he shits where he eats regularly.

also I’ve had arguments with people saying he was just friends with Claire and Karen and Emilia but he’s… seemingly not friends with any of them anymore lol? Karen and him I don’t think were ever official or trying to be, I legit think they were just hooking up/FWB, but they were very fucking close - not just when they were on the show but even after. Like in fact even after he went off the show completely and Peter took over, they still went to each other’s houses all the time and knew each other’s families really well and also used to be like crazy physically intimate with one another - and then he wasn’t at her wedding which… given they were legit like besties and all over each other in very very stalker pap type pics (drunk Spain night lol you will forever be in my dreams) is weird to me. You can drift apart from someone obv but if you were such close friends for a good few years, you generally make an effort to make their wedding lol. Unless you were besties who also banged. In which case yes kinda weird for u to be at the wedding.

But also what’s so funny to me is for like the last 5 years he's been saying he wants to get married and have kids and I'm like DUDE maybe STOP BANGING SO MANY WOMEN if that's legit what you want???? Fucking fuckboi of note lol.

[fyodior]

Hi my little academia whores it me you’re favorite 🪱I am back 😏 if you don’t remember me I’m that one person with the ridiculous fyodor headcanons. And boy has it been a hot minute since I’ve last told you them. Boy do I have more because like untreated mental illness it’s been festering. So without further ado here are some Fyodor headcanons for the soul.

- Fyodor has never had a nickname and if you say well “what about fedya?” ERRR DOESNT COUNT. So one day he (mistakenly) asked nikola to pick out a nick name. To make a long story short his nickname is Jesus. And it’s not pronounced like jeez-us it’s pronounced like hey-sus like in the Spanish pronunciation 💀💀 why? Because nikola had been watching too many soap operas and one of the main antagonists is called jesus

-Fyodor has his ears pierced. He suddenly got them done at a Claire’s shop in 2010 and bought the flip phone lip gloss with the 20% discount you get after you get your ears pierced.

-Fyodor stole a coi fish from a Chinese restaurants tank. He used a pitcher of water left on a table. He has so many fucking random pets

-Fyodor at one point sold feet pics for 45$ a piece.

-Fyodor got a restraining orders from The Weekend, yeah like in the singer the Weekend. Why? No clue

-Fyodor has not one not two, but 26 scrub daddy sponges in a small cubby by his bed

-Fyodor at one point couldnt tell if he liked dazai or hated him. They kissed to see and they’ve never talked about it afterwards. Like it’s the only thing they will never talk about because of how fucking awkward it was lmao anyways 0/10 don’t recommend.

-Fyodor has almost been inaugurated as the Pope. I’m not giving any background story to this one 💀

-fyodor thought chuuya was Russian for the longest time and he would speak to chuuya in Russian…chuuya indeed does not speak Russian and he just nodded along to whatever he said. Chuuya now only has nine toes 😔

-Fyodor ran an illegal ceramic making class on Facebook live.

-Fyodor sometimes will say very philosophical and just smart things without knowing it, during a conversation. After the convos done he quite literally pat’s himself and whispers “wow that was good.” Like a fucking geek. I want suck his dick 🫶

-fyodor got a degree in Earl childhood development and education from the university of Chicago! Ain’t that cool?….I want him to breed me 🦅💯

-Fyodor got “deez nutz” tattooed on the sid of his ribs in cursive. So it looks like it’s something poetic and meaningful, when in reality he got the tattoo after his favorite drag queen lost in rupaul’s drag race and he had like five margaritas.

-Fyodor tried to start the second potato famine in Ireland. Clearly it didn’t work

-Fyodor hates the state of Arizona so much he petitioned for it to be removed from being a state to congress again clearly didn’t work 10/10 for effort though! I want him to choke me with his cold pretty hands

-fyodor doesn’t British people like. He can’t stand them? And you’re probably thinking “wym he hates them?” Like he made them on the top of his little mass murder list. He has beef with them for no reason??? I-

-Fyodor has worn women’s underwear before! He quite likes it although he did find them in a Macy trash with a half eaten chipotle bowl, he thought they were quite comfy!

-Fyodor stole thirty ponds of cucumbers from a cabbage smuggler….I want him to fuck me until I see stars ✝️

-Fyodor loves Parmesan cheese especially freshly grated :))

Sorry for this being so short 💀

Anyways I hope you have a good day MWAH

Sincerely, your one and only horny cabbage smuggler

-🪱

there are tears in my eyes rn HOW do u come up with these 💀💀💀💀💀💀 WHY ARE THE SCRUB DADDIES BY HIS BED

HE FOUND THE UNDERWEAR IN A MACY'S TRASH CAN I GENUINE ;LY CANT BREATHE

CHUUYA NOW ONLY HAS 9 TOES?

[osgoodsblog]

I posted 1,034 times in 2022

That's 644 more posts than 2021!

54 posts created (5%)

980 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unusual-ly

@running-in-the-dark

@rilannon

@love-rats

@politedemon

I tagged 643 of my posts in 2022

Only 38% of my posts had no tags

#bbc ghosts - 127 posts

#taskmaster - 97 posts

#doctor who - 71 posts

#katy wix - 47 posts

#bbc ghosts spoilers - 45 posts

#taskmaster spoilers - 38 posts

#bridget christie - 34 posts

#mary my beloved - 24 posts

#annie x mary - 20 posts

#kate stewart - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#because the loudest autistic voices on the internet keep preaching that it’s a spectrum yet don’t give autistics who are different a voice

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

random thought of the day whilst being dragged round a shopping centre: Kitty would absolutely love Claires

94 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

#4

Just wanted to share the majesty of these new Katy pics with you all

117 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#3

more confirmation of mary backstory and “Mary finds her voice” 🥺🥺

122 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

#2

her entire vibe here gives me such gender envy I can’t even describe it

135 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I don’t even care if it gets disproven which it likely will but I’m headcanoning that this new Pokémon character is wearing an arm brace. As a physically disabled person I very rarely get to see myself in characters like this so

160 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I think it would've been funny if Mary was on a solo hunt and met Claire, with her curly blonde hair and big blue eyes and tough attitude and wearing a shirt she stole from dean that dean stole from john, and Mary's like 'oh. interesting. I'm a grandmother. nightmare scenario.' and this is post the bmol reveal so Dean is fully not talking to her and she thinks he didn't tell her he has a daughter because he didn't trust her so she decides to get in Claire's good graces. 1) because her granddaughter seems to have the impulse control of an irritated bull and she definitely shouldn't be hunting alone and 2) she gave Claire a fake last name so she wouldn't figure out their relation so by the time Dean figures out they've met Claire can help sweeten him up so Mary can fix things with him. Claire meanwhile is annoyed that this random woman keeps following her around but she's already resigned to the fact she attracts parental figures like a magnet.

so they're a VERY chaotic hunting team for awhile. Mary also keeps trying to needle out details about Claire's life- she figures she might blow her cover if she asks too much about her father, so she asks a lot about Claire's mother but she's very cagey about the topic. then one day Claire let's Mary use her phone for something and she notices the background is a pic of her and Cas and Claire doesn't wanna get into the whole angel thing with this woman who won't get out of her car so she's like 'oh yeah that's my dad'. and Mary's IMMEDIATELY just like oh God oh fuck I almost got my son in law killed no wonder Dean hates me. she's fully spiralling about her kids not trusting her so much they're hiding an entire family from her. even BEFORE they knew about the brits Dean didn't tell her?? she spends all night on google taking like those dumb 'am I homophobic??' quizzes to see if she said or did anything to make him uncomfortable and she literally goes to a library and prints out articles about how to support your gay child. turns into one of those hardcore gay rights moms over night. Claire just thinks Mary's doing this because she's figured out Claire's a lesbian and she finds it sweet.

Dean eventually starts responding to Mary's texts again and Mary just wants to tell Dean she knows everything so they can Properly make up and move forward but all the parenting books she's been reading insist that she needs to let him come to her with this. she starts dropping hints though, like 'oh I'm working with this hunter named Claire', thinking he'll take the bait and tell her he's Claire's father but he's just like 'tell that criminal she has 32 hours to return my ivory grip gun or else I'm actually filing a police report against her' and Mary's not in any place to critique parenting styles but she's like 😬 and tells Claire who's like 'tell him they'll never take me alive' and Mary ends up in the middle of dumb banter between these two while Claire's driving but neither of them will admit they're father and daughter and it's driving her INSANE. she just wants to be trusted!!

skdhdj Claire has a p.o. box and one day they stopped by and there was a head of a stuffed unicorn in there as a godfather parody, and Claire calls Dean like 'THAT WAS ALEX'S!!' and Mary hears him cursing over the other line and after they hang up she asks who Alex is and Claire's like 'oh my sister' and Mary's like. YOUR WHAT.

then all the shit with the brainwashing and apocalypse world goes down and by the time she's back in the bunker she's SO over waiting she just wants as normal a family dynamic as she can possibly get so she makes a big show of like getting Dean alone and she has a whole apology speech AND a gay rights speech that she had kids from a local lgbt community group proof read and edit for her. and Dean king of the closet is like thanks! but what the Fuck. and people are fully walking into the library now Sam has popcorn and Mary's like listen sweetheart I know I haven't given you a lot of reasons to trust me but at the very least you could have mentioned I'm a grandmother, I mean the resemblance is uncanny- and Dean's like 'shit you met Ben? is he okay?' and she's like. WHO?? WHAT? HOW MANY CHILDREN ARE YOU HIDING. And he's like well Emma's dead ('WHAT') so who else could you POSSIBLY be talking about?? And Mary's like 'Claire!! obviously Claire!!' and Claire, who's on the other side of the room yells 'EW?!' in a put on offended tone and Dean's like 'no she's Cas' brat?!' and Mary's like. 'well she's not a nephilim like Jack! I know you and Cas are together Dean-' and Dean and Cas are like. um. what drew you to that conclusion. pay no attention to the fact we're blushing and now refusing to make eye contact with each other we Swear we are only simply platonic friends we are NOT in a romantic relationship. and then Jack and Claire are both like 'WHAT YOU AREN'T?!?!' and the night is lost to many many confusing confrontations. this post got away from me.

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[strangestcase]

For the ask thing heath, jackson, and holt!!!!!!!?

HEATH 🔥

Favorite thing about him: he’s obviously very queer. Sander himself confirmed him as bi/pan, and he canonically enjoys wearing skirts. He’s also a very cute comic relief character.

Least favorite thing about him: he gets annoying at times and his voice- Oh god his voice is HORRIBLE. I get that he’s still growing but what the fuck?

Favorite line: “If you were a booger, I’d pick you first!” aka Accurate high schooler talk.

BrOTP: with Deuce and Abbey!

OTP: I really don’t have one w/him... I like AbbeyxHeath but I don’t care, really, and I prefer it to be platonic.

nOTP: He and Draculaura, nuff said.

Random headcanon: As he’s a demon, he thinks salt and vinegar chips are the SPICIEST. He took a long while to realize most people didn’t feel that hellish burning sensation!

Unpopular opinion: He should have a bigger family. 

Song I associate him with: Do it all the time, by IDKHOW.

Favorite picture of him: Aaaaah I’m on mobile and I don’t have any pics but... you know that picture of him with Deuce? And Deuce is roasting marshmelos on his fire? 🥺

JACKSON 🧪

Favorite thing about him: It was nice seeing a nerd character not be treated as an insufferable asshole for being a nerd (I could say the same about Ghoulia tho). Ah, and also he is never shamed for being shy/dorky/sticking to a small friend group or not understanding social cues. 

Least favorite thing about him: Eh, his aesthetic, at least in the original canon. In the concept art he looked more emo and even half of his hair was white, but dolls make him look like a complete prep and that doesn’t fit his character. At all. 

Favorite line: “Me? A monster? HA! You slay me!” He said this to a monster slayer. No braincell time 😔

BrOTP: with Deuce and Toralei.

OTP: *deep inhale* with Frankie obviously but up to this point I’ve turned their OT3 into an OTShittonofpeople. 

nOTP: people ship him????? With Valentine???????? Wack.

Random headcanon: He draws! And he experiments (heh) a lot with his style!

Unpopular opinion: Yeah I know he is supposed to be Dr. Jekyll’s grand-something-son but I came here to see the classic monsters have children, not random fourth generation descendants.

Song I associate with him: You’re at the party by Lemon Demon. 

Favorite picture of him: Those pieces of official art in which he’s mixing green chemicals + scowling cause that’s a mood. 

HOLT 🎶

Favorite thing about him: While I like him all around, seeing him make little nods to the original Mr. Hyde / Hyde puns is the highlight of my day. Either way his diary is hilarious and I love how ridiculously overconfident he is in the cartoon.

Least favorite thing about him: For starters, his dolls deserved real hair. And now on to something Sander and I agree on: 90% of his fucking dialogue is him screaming with little depth. 

Favorite line: “We’re the same dude. Dude.” HES SO STUPID I LOVE HIM.

BrOTP: with Operetta, Heath, and Deuce of course! 

OTP: *sobbing* FRANKAYYYY *stops sobbing* And the rest of the OTShittonofpeople (including Claire 👀)

nOTP: none really unless inc*st ships count but I’ve deliberately avoided listing them as nOTPs because they don’t even deserve to be counted as pairings.

Random headcanon: He’s a music nerd ofc but not many people know he stans Debussy. Music nerds are like that.

Unpopular opinion: In part it is because my version of Holt isn’t half fire elemental/demon, but rather than fire, I think he should have had a more prominent “duality” theme and have his Hyde abilities more obvious.

Song I associate with him: DJ got us falling in love, by Usher. 

Favorite picture of him: Hmmm probably the one I have as my profile pic but I also like that pic of him skateboarding. 

[destinyc1020]

Yeah Tom does not have a wandering eye. Like you said while he was dating z he acted like she was the only girl on the planet and that’s even with them trying to convince everyone they were just friends. It’s not like he was out there always follow a bunch of random girls Olivia is a family friend that he saw for the first time in a while at the brothers trust event so he followed there is nothing wrong with that and I don’t think he liked her before they hooked up. I think Olivia liked him and the night of the festival saw he was drunk and vulnerable and made her move and Tom thought what the hell, why not he was heartbroken . Tom does not have a wandering eye and is not a jerk in the slightest. No he’s not perfect cause no one is but he’s pretty damn close and if he had mistreated z in anyway during their relationship I don’t think they would be as close again as they are now nor would any of her family and friends be the way they are with him. I mean law and her mum never followed je but both of them even when after the o pics came out were still liking toms posts and Claire was out there liking posts about little girls fighting over who was gonna get to marry Tom I really don’t think she would have been doing that if he had mistreated her daughter in any way, nor would law be out there now posting things of Tom with the caption I love this guy. Tom is a very nice guy ask anyone who has met him or worked with him, the same can not be said for je in fact it’s the opposite from people that have worked with him. Why are people so pressed at the idea of them being close again that they feel the need to make up such bullshit about Tom.

Claire was out there liking posts about little girls fighting over who was gonna get to marry Tom I really don’t think she would have been doing that if he had mistreated her daughter in any way, nor would law be out there now posting things of Tom with the caption I love this guy. Tom is a very nice guy ask anyone who has met him or worked with him

STOP it!  You’re making waaaay too much sense lol  😂

Plus, if Tom were even remotely giving another girl some attention at any point in time while he was dating Z, you know good and well that the media would have LONG since jumped all over that....either to stir up “cheating” rumors, OR to try to stir up “dating” rumors.  Antis didn’t even have any other girls that they could link Tom with in the media, cuz there was NOTHING to latch on to lol.  😂   The fact that the ONLY girl that Tom was linked to was Zendaya for like 3 years in the media should be more than enough of a clue that there’s no way he was even looking like he was “flirting” with other girls while away from Z.  Otherwise, the media would have long-since wanted to make a “story” out of it.   

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 504

Let’s make this one quick, because tbh I really dgaf about Alicia and Isiah and I’m almost done with Maas’ new book so if any other’s in the Maaslander squad wanna chat about it, I have feelings.

They’re really dragging this Bonnet thing out, aren’t they. I mean, the books did too, but they could have, ya know, AdApTeD. Le sigh.

Hallo the house is the olde timey version of texting “here” when you get to your buddy’s place.

This episode could really be titled Men Suck.

I mean really. Roger? The Browns? Bonnet? Even fucking Elijah Ford manages to suck and we never even see him!

Jamie doesn’t suck much in this episode. Which is a nice change of pace for him. But he’s been headcanon’ed beyond recognition so whatevs.

Fergus doesn’t suck. Fergus is always the exception who can hang with the ladies because he’s cool enough to be in the good squad.

I just fucking love Fergus ok.

As someone who *hates* shopping, back in the day shopping seems like my exact version of hell.

Also, like, have these fuckers not learned their lessons about not communicating? They don’t need to fucking tell everyone the whole truth, but come the fuck on. They can at least give the Ridge Squad a heads up to not fuck with rando Irishmen who may show up.

I swear, they’re all so dumb it hurts.

Also, Bree, girl. You’re talking to an old Scottish lady. Maybe don’t shit on the Irish in a way that also directly applies to her.

Alicia was Mr. Darcy’s daughter on Ripper Street, right? She looks super familiar.

I’m offended on Fergus’ behalf that they’re wasting so much of his whisky with that leaky stopper, tbh.

Ah, toxic masculinity and patriarchal bullshit. Right up there with rape as my FaVoRiTe way to demonstrate that ye olde times sucked.

It’s like dialed to 11 this episode so obvi I spent the majority of it rolling my eyes.

The Jamie and Claire with the baby stuff was solid though.

And thank fuck they refer to her as Bonnie. Like, Diana is notoriously bad with names, but come the fuck on. Alicia Brown and Alicia Beardsley in like the same few chapters? THERE ARE A LOT OF NAMES IN EXISTENCE, DIANA. IT’S OK TO BRANCH OUT A BIT.

Every time something like this comes up, I remember that there’s another random Randall but like as a first name, I think, in the Gathering Without End. Because of course.

Fergus should really be a fucking diplomat. I mean really.

I am approximately 1000% over sing-alongs with Roger. Can we hang the fucker already so he can’t talk anymore?

Yay freedom! You know what goes well with freedom? An incestuous throuple. You do you, Beardsleys.

“You’re 14.” “Uh, I am clearly in my mid-20s.” “Nope, 14.” “Cool cool. Message received.”

“Congratulations, you work fast milord.” I JUST FUCKING LOVE FERGUS SO MUCH.

Seriously, this show needs more Fergus. Also more Fergus, Bree and Marsali bonding. Like, if we’re gonna have an episode about randos, we clearly could have better used the time to have the Fraser kiddos bonding.

“When in Rome...” STFU, Roger. Cosplaying your way through history like you’re on a fieldtrip isn’t cute. It’s fucking annoying. And you wonder why Jamie doesn’t like you. You are an eminently unlikable person.

Roger would def be the guest the hosts in Westworld want to kill.

The only good part about this side-quest is that there’s so much of Jamie telling Roger he sucks. And really, I’m here for any and all of Roger being told he sucks.

Ok but literalol at how badly Caitriona/Claire knocked over her mug. She like put it down fine and then tipped it over.

Oh hey, I wonder who that rando doctor who gives the weird advice is.

Lucinda is a cinnamon roll.

“Beauchamp, Randall, Fraser, now Rawlings? Ye have another husband I should ken about?” “Well, not yet, but you know your buddy who’s in love with you? Well...”

Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser Randall Fraser Grey Fraser is a very respectable name.

DON’T MAKE FUN OF THE DRINK OF FERGUS’ PEOPLE, BROWN MAN.

Literally the whole time in Brownsville all I could think was fuck, I really don’t want them to do the ABOSAA bit with them next season but I know they’re gonna and I already don’t want to waste time doing fucking recaps.

I’m bored.

Fuck there’s still half an hour left.

“What sort of man would I be if I allowed a lady to sleep out with the militia on a cold, dark night?” Idk, the kind of man whose people kidnap and rape a lady? *preemptive rage intensifies*

I know I should be freaking out that Bree’s freaking out that Bonnet kidnapped Jemmy, but all I could think of is the old podsa ads for SimpliSafe.

The Ridge needs SimpliSafay.

I fucking hate this storyline with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, but I fucking love Marsali.

Omfg I know it’s Brownsville but them all being Browns is fucking like GoT shit. Like, diversify your gene pool, y’all.

Ok, glad there’s finally a Marsali and Bree scene. But I still wish they could hang and like chat about stuff like pals.

That being said, MARSALI IS A FUCKING SAINT AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

And of course, more violence against women. Because we can’t go two seconds without reminding the audience that the past is Bad and Dangerous for women.

Also, is Marsali still preggo? Which baby are we on? What time is it? How much longer is left in this season episode?

Cute of Claire to be like hey, Rog, Jamie’s trusting you with me! His favorite thing! Like Jamie’s not actually trusting Claire with his daughter’s dipshit husband.

Oh hey, remember how Brianna can draw Bonnet fairly accurately? Sure would be nice if there was a way to, idk, show those pics to folks on the Ridge. Just spit-balling here, but like, maybe giving folks a heads up would be a good idea. Kind of like how she fuCKING COULD HAVE DRAWN ROGER LAST YEAR BECAUSE TALKING ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND IS A NORMAL THING TO DO WITH FAMILY AND THEN WE WOULDN’T HAVE HAD ROGERGATE AND OMFG THE DUMB. IT HURTS SO MUCH.

Claire just fucking yeeted that baby lol.

For real though, literalol at Jamie like taking his coat off and being all dramatic as he prepares to... play DDR.

omega psi chi phi upsilon tau sigma rho pi omicron xi nu mu lambda kappa iota theta eta zeta epsilon delta gamma beta alpha

Drunk!Claire is back!

I fucking love drunk!Claire. So does Jamie.

The scene where they talk about raising the baby together is adorable. But also, like, Jamie, you’re grandparents now. All the good parts of parenting with none of the shitty parts! And y’all have been through enough shit in your lives that you deserve all the fluffy grandparenting!

“And Marsali and Fergus... Well, I’m sure they will keep the Ridge sufficiently populated if that’s what you’re worried about.” “ Yeah, that lass is with child every time Fergus lays eyes upon her.” WHERE IS THE LIE THO.

Joking aside though, they’d better keep giving Marsali more stuff to do than spit out babies. *aggressively side-eyes a certain author who DiDn’T lIkE wRiTiNg AbOuT kIdS*

Good on them for tweeting out the suicide prevention hotline. Literally the least they can do.

I’m barely really trying to give a shit about Alicia and Isiah, but alas, idgaf.

Literally the only good thing about this whole story line is Isiah being like “step the fuck off, you raging hypocrites” to Roger and Jamie.

[xx-prozacpuppy-xx]

Tips for kids new to scene

-Make kandi!

You can get pony beads at craft stores, walmart, and sometimes cheap at dollar stores

-Make stuff with perler/nano beads

You can get these at craft stores too

-Go to claire’s/icing

Claire’s and icing are great places to get accessories!

(pic credit)

-Hair!

Scene is pretty much known for the hair so this is important!

First and most importantly back combing. Not everyone does this but it’s the back bone of the big poufy scene haircuts you see online! 

Another ((easier)) way to get more fringe volume is to brush as much hair you can from the back of your head to the front. This is what I do when I actually do my hair lol ^^

You could also get a small coontail extension or only dye a small part of your hair

If you’re comfortable with doing something more extreme def try hair dye!

As far as brands go I dunno really? I just know Splat is a god awful hair dye and apparently Manic Panic is good??

Also DO NOT bleach your hair at home!!! Literally just. fucking don’t. Unless you’re 100% ok with your hair frying off

Get it bleached by a prof and colour it at home if you wanna do it yourself

(we all know wat scene hair looks like)

-Other stores/brands

Hot Topic

Spencers

Thrift stores

tokidoki

Cupcake Cult

Punk’d Image (belts)

Converse

Killer Panda

Sanrio

Gloomy Bear (not very easy to find tho)

Spirithoods (or fakes cause they’re expensive lol)

Random halloween stores

-Music

I have a huge playlist here but it’s pretty messy so here’s a few artists I listen to that are kinda scene

Mindless Self Indulgence

Blood on the Dance Floor (yes I despise Dahvie lmao the music is just catchy)

Camellia (かめりあ)

Knife Party

[seven-oomen]

Okay, I’ve managed to scrape back up some of the thoughts that were drifting in and out yesterday.  I was trying to think of stuff I remembered from high school (what hasn’t been lost to an ADD haze at this point anyway) that might be interesting/cute to see crop up in the prequel.  For example; we know Peter played basketball, but did he or anyone else participate in any other extracurriculars or sports?  Student council?  Debate team?  Academic team?  French club?  Band/orchestra/choir?  Cross country/Track?  Ecology club?  Gay/Straight Alliance?  Martial arts?  Science club?  Softball?  Pagan Student Union (I think that might have been a college thing, but whatever)?  Art club?  Cheer/gymnastics?  Other things I’m forgetting right now?

Speaking of Peter and basketball- Did the gang ever go to his games?  Did he have supportive sports boyfriends; did they make cute signs or run to hug him if Beacon Hills won?  (Did we ever find out Peter’s jersey number?  I legit can’t remember.)  Did he bother to get a letterman jacket?  If so, did he give it to either of the boys?  (Or did he just get two?  I forget how/when you got patches, I wasn’t much for that sort of thing.  I think maybe I got one for softball at some point?)  I love him with the leather jacket, I just thought it was a cute image.  Did they get class rings (and exchange them)?

Also, yearbooks.  Who all actually had their picture in the yearbook?  Did Peter shake his hair over his eyes to block the weird reflective thing (and would that work)?  Did they pop up in any group shots or candid pics?  I had a mental image of a shot from some sort of home game, maybe for football, or girl’s basketball, or something, of the group of them clustered on the bleachers; Peter between Chris and Noah, with an arm thrown around each’s shoulders, his smiling face pressed into one of them’s hair (I can’t decide which) partially to prevent any reflection, partially just because; Chris holding the hand Peter has wrapped around him with one hand and with the other stretched across to rest on Noah’s knee, smiling in the genuine yet vaguely stilted way of someone who’s not used to being this happy yet; Noah with one arm wrapped around Peter’s waist, his other hand resting on the one Chris has on his knee, staring at the camera with an amused grin that’s flirting right on the edge of a smirk; Claudia cuddled up to Noah’s side, both hands wrapped around the top his nearest arm, head leaning against his shoulder, grin clear and bright and open; Melissa next to her, arms enveloping Claudia in a loose hug, camera catching her mid-laugh.  (God, I really wish I had something approaching passable art skills at times like these.)  Maybe the kids find a copy of that yearbook in the school library, and make framed copies of the picture for Melissa and their dads for a gift.

Do you have any plans to cover Prom?  Or any school dance (Homecoming, maybe?), really, Prom is just the big one.  Because part of me with never be over the ridiculousness of that scene with Peter and Allison at Macy’s (as cute as it is).  Random middle-aged dude walks up to teenage girl and starts offering her unsolicited fashion advice (as part of an intimidation tactic against her boyfriend, no less), and she not only is not worried or weirded out in the slightest, but she actively takes his advice and buys the dress he suggests.  (I legit laughed so hard I snorted when I realized it was the same dress.)  (Momentary segue: Do you think she ever described the encounter to Chris?  Peter just gets a random angry text one day from an unknown number that just says “Stay the hell away from my daughter!” and he just knows, so he sends back “Don’t blame me, her selections were utterly abysmal.  Didn’t your wife run a boutique or something?  You’d think she’d have taught her better."  Chris never does answer back.)  But anyway, yes, school dances with that group could be entertaining.  Sneaking off (for various reasons), special song dedications, spiking the punch with assorted substances, inappropriate dancing under the cover of semi-darkness.  Lots of potential shenanigans.

Also can’t wait to find out more about how everybody met.  One of the things I love about long-running series is being able to go back and compare where characters began their relationships versus where they end up.  We’ve seen how Chris met the boys, but not Claudia or Melissa.  (Did he already know Melissa?  Was she still a hunter at that point?)  We know how Noah and Claudia met, but not how Peter and Noah met, or Peter and Claudia, or how any of them met Melissa.  Plus all the potential bonus drama because of the supernatural issues involved.  When did Claudia and Peter realize what Elias was really like?  (Did Claudia ever give either of the other boys a "shovel talk”?)  How did Melissa’s relationship with Rafael develop?  How did the rest of the gang get along with the assorted Hales (or did they know them at all)?  And re: the preview for it you posted - what kind of car does Peter have, and can you comfortably fit three growing boys in the back seat?  (I do occasionally remember to ask the important questions, lol.)  Is the Jeep still Claudia’s here?  What kinds of vehicles, if any, do the others have?  (Can you tell I’m excited about the prequel?)

Bonus thought from last night -  

Me: *trying desperately to fall asleep so the day can just be over*

My brain:  So what about a vaguely, very loosely Breakfast Club inspired Chris/Noah/Peter fic?  Like, Chris could be Emilio Estevez’s character, and Noah could be Judd Nelson’s, because Andrew’s damage is more internally focused (I can’t live up to my father’s expectations because I’m not good enough), where as Bender’s is more externally focused (I’m pissed that my dad treats me this way because he’s an asshole, but also secretly worry I actually deserve it).  Peter could be Claire; popular, charming, probably more intelligent than they let on, emotionally distant and neglected.  Claudia’s probably the best fit for Allison, although you could maybe make Melissa work.  Finstock is totally Brian.  Could we shove Harris back in time to make him Dean Vernon?  It’s fic, you can totally do that sort of thing, right?  I mean, you’re already planning to completely redo the relationships, so who cares, right?  Who would be Carl, though?

Me:  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BRAIN, NOT NOW!!!  PLEASE JUST SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP ALREADY, I’M BEGGING YOU!!  NOW IS NOT THE TIME!  WE CAN THINK ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!

My brain:  …okay but seriously; Peter in a peach colored v-neck and overly snug khakis, Chris in that wrestling top, Noah in the trenchcoat and plaid…  Do you think Peter could do that lipstick trick with a chapstick?…

Me:  AAAAUUUUGGHH!!!

(Thankfully, sleep was at least eventually had.)

I’m glad you’re feeling better today, and hope that work was busy enough to pass the time quickly without being overwhelming, and blissfully free of excessive stupid people.  As someone else stuck in the world of heat, storms, and humidity, you have my sympathy.  Sending hugs and cooling vibes!

Alright so I finally got some time to sit down (or lie down technically) for this and go through it. I’m excited!

we know Peter played basketball, but did he or anyone else participate in any other extracurriculars or sports?  Student council?  Debate team?  Academic team?  French club?  Band/orchestra/choir?  Cross country/Track?  Ecology club?  Gay/Straight Alliance?  Martial arts?  Science club?  Softball?  Pagan Student Union (I think that might have been a college thing, but whatever)?  Art club?  Cheer/gymnastics?  Other things I’m forgetting right now?

Speaking of Peter and basketball- Did the gang ever go to his games?  Did he have supportive sports boyfriends; did they make cute signs or run to hug him if Beacon Hills won?  (Did we ever find out Peter’s jersey number?  I legit can’t remember.)  Did he bother to get a letterman jacket?  If so, did he give it to either of the boys?  (Or did he just get two?  I forget how/when you got patches, I wasn’t much for that sort of thing.  I think maybe I got one for softball at some point?)  I love him with the leather jacket, I just thought it was a cute image.  Did they get class rings (and exchange them)?

I think Chris was a cheerleader at some point. He wanted to join gymnastics like in his old school, but BH didn’t have a separate gymnastics team, so he joined the cheerleaders instead. His dancing skills are abysmal, but he makes up for it with gymnastic skills, strength, and agility.

Peter’s on the student council I like to think he would do well as the secretary but I also feel like he’d definitely try to run for president.

Noah’s on the Martial Arts team (couldn’t resist) and I like to think he’d participate in the  ROTC, as he served in the military in canon. (Obviously due to having children at 17, he never enlisted in this Au.) But the prepping definitely happened.

Chris would also join the swim team, which is a nod to Jackson joining later in Once Upon a Time.

And oh yeah, they went to every game. Chris as a cheerleader and Noah was up in the stands with signs for every single game. Claudia and Melissa often came with. Whenever BH won, Chris would run out and ‘cheer’ the star player, which was almost always Peter, and lift him up on his shoulders.

I don’t think there’s a canon answer for Peter’s Jersey Number. I’ve seen some places sell a shirt with 01 on it, but I kinda wanna say it’s 15. Due to his birthday being May 15 in this au. (Chris’s is July 22nd, Noah’s is September 14th.)

I feel like Peter got a class ring, maybe Noah, but Chris didn’t bother. It would just be one more thing his father could potentially take from him and he wouldn’t need something like that to remember the other two by. He already has the Triskelion necklace. As for the letterman jacket, I think Peter definitely got one, as did Noah. Chris once again skipped it, probably because he still felt like they might move at a moment's notice and he didn’t want to bother with all of these things.

Also, yearbooks.  Who all actually had their picture in the yearbook?  Did Peter shake his hair over his eyes to block the weird reflective thing (and would that work)?  Did they pop up in any group shots or candid pics?  I had a mental image of a shot from some sort of home game, maybe for football, or girl’s basketball, or something, of the group of them clustered on the bleachers; Peter between Chris and Noah, with an arm thrown around each’s shoulders, his smiling face pressed into one of them’s hair (I can’t decide which) partially to prevent any reflection, partially just because; Chris holding the hand Peter has wrapped around him with one hand and with the other stretched across to rest on Noah’s knee, smiling in the genuine yet vaguely stilted way of someone who’s not used to being this happy yet; Noah with one arm wrapped around Peter’s waist, his other hand resting on the one Chris has on his knee, staring at the camera with an amused grin that’s flirting right on the edge of a smirk; Claudia cuddled up to Noah’s side, both hands wrapped around the top his nearest arm, head leaning against his shoulder, grin clear and bright and open; Melissa next to her, arms enveloping Claudia in a loose hug, camera catching her mid-laugh.  (God, I really wish I had something approaching passable art skills at times like these.)  Maybe the kids find a copy of that yearbook in the school library, and make framed copies of the picture for Melissa and their dads for a gift.

Omg, my heart...

yes to all of this. Seriously <3

Do you have any plans to cover Prom?  Or any school dance (Homecoming, maybe?),

I do. In both stories. The canon school dance in Once Upon a Time. And the prequel will feature either a homecoming dance or prom. The potential for drama there is too good to pass up on.

Also, Peter giving fashion advice to the girls is way too funny because of course, he would. And to some of the guys as well. Seriously McCall... that’s what you’re going with?? Wear a fucking tux for Mel, jfc...

I feel really bad, but I actually never saw the Breakfast club, though it sounds like a really dope movie. And those visuals are very nice visuals ^^

I’m also writing all of these questions down for the prequel. XD This is awesome writing fuel <3

No but seriously, I don’t say this often enough, but you are awesome and I adore you <3 

Thanks for sticking with me and this au for so long already, I love talking to you.

[forthebetterevil]

my first exo concert!

just gonna detail my experience going to my first exo concert as a 1.5-year-old exol. this is the Singapore 190915 EXplOration concert, missing ksoo (my crown prince) and xiu (my second prince). (p.s. jun is my third prince so that’s why i bought his fan ---- my face when i realised i unknowingly stanned exo’s enlistment line after ksoo dropped the bomb on us: 😊🔫)

and still missing lay, of course (*rolls eyes at china*). it was a blast but i didn’t die too hard, probably because it’s just 6 of them haha. my throat still died from screaming so hard though.

in my rambling i shall cover details of the merch in the picture, and comments (babbling) on each member.

to my great fortune, i was seated in the middle of a middle block facing the stage. i didn’t want to attend the concert in the standing pen area because i prefer observing the group as a whole to being up and close with them but missing out on all the dance formations. i’m here forking over S$302 for a concert where i can’t see ksoo or xiu so... anyway even if they were here i would still prefer to sit and watch the full performance.

the black banner (which i still can’t read) was laid on every seat, and overleaf, exols were asked to hold this banner up during their ending ment. the community is really cute.

the eribong v.3 is pretty when lit up (more later). it came with the bottom right sticker set, and a random photocard. i managed to trade for a ksoo card in the end :-)

the 7th anniversary pink leather keychain is not part of concert merch, but it’s pretty so i threw it into the pic (only for this concert did i break it out of its box to attach it to my bag LOL)

[ksoo]

i got a ksoo ... vertical banner? thin poster? thing after the concert was over, when merchants were desperate to sell their unsold goods. of course there was a ton of baek yeol 5ehun jun and j0ngin merch, but i was surprised i didn’t see as much of dae than i did ksoo. perhaps dae’s merch already sold out?? anyway, i saw ksoo’s marie claire photo and IMMEDIATELY shuffled over to ask for the price, which wasn’t too bad ($5, which became $4 because the merchant didn’t have exact change)

[xiu]

i pasted a xiu name sticker on one side of the eribong, and ksoo on the other. doubles as a “yeah these are my first 2 princes″ and a “at least they’re still with me today in spirit” ... *bursts into tears*

for xiu’s merch, there was NOTHING except maybe a tiny photo of him bunched with other members’ photos. i kept asking “do you have xium1n?” *merchant who usually isn’t a fan is confused* “um... kim minse0k?” *?* “this one, *points to xiu in a group photo*, do you have?” *shows me a j0ngin pic* “ok nvm” this was extremely upsetting. but hey at least i got to see xiu in printed group photos. because...

[lay]

lay didn’t even make an APPEARANCE amongst the goods. rip xingmis. a fellow exol told me someone in the standing pen was waving a ZYX banner around though, so there’s still hope amongst the singaporean xingmis at least

[junmye0n]

i got a fan-produced jun fan before the concert because i didn’t know the venue was air-conditioned haha whoops.

during the concert, his second outfit (after the tempo perf) was a poofy white long-sleeved top and rather well-fitting black trousers/pants and lemme tell you.... HE’S PRINCE ERIC. HE’S SO HANDSOME AND HE’S SO NICE AND SWEET AND HIS ENGLISH WAS SO GOOD, LIKE, EVERYONE IS WHIPPED FOR KSOO’S ENGLISH BUT HONESTLY JUN REALLY TRIED TO COMMUNICATE TO US IN ENGLISH IT WAS AMAZING AND HE PUTS IN SO MUCH EFFORT AND HE SHOULD BE APPRECIATED MORE (and this is coming from a ksoo stan..). you have no idea how upset i was when everyone was screaming their heads off for the other 5 performing members during their little video interludes, but when jun came on screen, there were just screams. heads did not pop off. NO! WHAT IS THIS DISRESPECT AND UNDERAPPRECIATION???!!!! i screamed my head off for him but one person alone can’t make up for the difference... jun was so nice and kept waving and making eye contact with the audience, doing cute poses for us here and there, being his little awkward leader self (as SM boy band leaders seem to do...), and basically tanking the transitions between performances. christ. also he freakin CARRIED the backing vocals AND the main vocals (i mean dae and baek too but everyone already explicitly appreciates them so i don’t need to give them special mention for carrying). he is ALWAYS being slept on, and it’s just not doing him justice. what the hell. junmye0n deserves the world :-(

for his BEEN THROUGH 👀👀👀👀 performance, he told us he decided to change the shirt colour to red because he thought it would match Singapore well (or something along those lines). like. WOW????? THANK YOU FOR EVEN CONSIDERING MY COUNTRY IS WORTH NOTICING TO CHANGE YOUR OUTFIT???? i hope i’m not sounding sarcastic - it’s such a small action but i felt a little touched?? like wow, he noticed.

my binoculars was glued on him half the time. he’s so handsome and pretty at the same time. part of the reason why i still went was to see if everyone’s claims that “suh0’s pictures don’t do him justice” were legitimate because when i first saw jun′s pic (i forgot which exact one), i literally thought, “that’s the handsomest man i’ve ever seen”. so i suppose the claim depends on angles. because ALL of em look like their pictures - their GOOD-ANGLE pictures. MEANING, jun looks as good as his best photos (which tend to be the ones where he faces straight to the front), but now he looks good from whichever angle in motion. he is actually very fair-skinned too! his face was like a beacon of light.

also, in his first ment greeting us, he was such a cheeseball saying our country is beautiful... like us. JUNMYE0N PLEASE.

nearing the end of the concert HE TOLD US NOT TO CRY (along with j0ngin or yeol, can’t remember). THEY’RE GONNA SING THEIR LAST SONG, BUT IT’S NOT GOING TO BE THEIR LAST SONG, BECAUSE THEY’LL ALWAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS, RIGHT? HJAGKN;KLSKGKS :”””””(

so to reiterate: i have the biggest soft spot for junmye0n and i love him.

[5ehun]

OH, DURING ONE SONG, 5EHUN CAME OVER TO RUB HIS HEAD ON JUN’S CHEST, AND I WAS LIKE AAAWWWW!!!!! and died. but jun’s back was facing me so i more or less couldn’t see much. after the concert, i found out that  5EHUN TRIED TO LIFT JUN’S SHIRT TO SHOW HIS ABS DURING THE NUZZLE. so i revived and died again. there were a lot of other small interactions too. seho stans won tonight.

below are some of my friend’s standing pen privilege pics:

what i could see from my seat behind -

what i DIDN’T KNOW 5EHUN TRIED FOR A HOT SECOND:

seho stan: *dies*

anyway... i wasn’t paying close attention to 5ehun during group performances (other than when it was his solo dance break and exo-sc perfs), tho i felt like he wasn’t as “engaged” as, say, jun or yeol. but i thought that was normal because yaknow... he’s not very talkative, and i was probably getting that impression just from his naturally stern (rbf LOL) face. 

his dance break was COOL and his exo-sc performances were LIVELY. and when he actually gets to sing (... T_T) nothing went wrong so i thought everything was fine.

however, during one of his ments, 5ehun admitted to us that he felt bad coz he wasn’t up to standard today (because he’s sick?? translator was not doing a thorough job, i got this info from another friend), and he’s sorry. some of us were like “huh?? no?? GWAENCHANA!!!!” and the translator said he said, “no i’m not saying this just so yall will say that, if you continue i’m not gonna share my feelings like this anymore” so we all shut up.

i can’t remember if it was in that same ment, but during one of the ments, the whole time 5ehun was talking, jun was standing waayyyy in front of the line to turn his body to look at 5ehun. i think he was worried for him :”( 5ehunnie bb please don’t beat yourself up over this. my friend in the standing pen said yeah, he was pretty out of it today, he kept staring into space instead of making eye contact with fans. :-(

[j0ngin]

spEAKING of out of it, the same can be said for j0ngin. don’t get me wrong, his dancing was still otherworldly. i was looking through my binoculars to focus on the dance formation and/or jun, but suddenly i was like “wait, i’ve been looking at ka1 dancing this whole time”. IT’S SO FLUID AND SHARP AT THE SAME TIME. EVERY MOVE IS EXECUTED PERFECTLY. IT JUST DRAWS YOU IN.

... but that can only be said for some stages. i felt like his moves were not as sharp/confident sometimes?? i mean they were still graceful, but somehow it feels kinda tired???????? k who am i to judge, i’m not the one dancing and singing for 2 hours straight lmao he obviously needs downtime...

THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. unfortunately, during the ments, he also wasn’t very hyper (like hE WOULD BE WITH A CERTAIN SOMEONE.............. UGH MY KADI HEART IS ACHING). he dance-bopped around and interacted with yeol a little but that’s all. i know j0ngin is actually a shy boi but he REALLY didn’t talk much. :-(  i honestly suspect the Other Project (s*perM) is tiring him tf out.

am i hallucinating? or maybe i’m being overdramatic. i don’t know. it’s not that i was constantly following his movements like i was junmye0n’s during the concert anyway.

[baek]

he didn’t SEEM as tired as j0ngin thanks to that Other Project. his diet of CDs didn’t change, and he was still the goofball during ments / soft toy fun times. also, man, the amount of screams he got. and MAN, THE UN VILLAGE ROLLING HILLS PART..................... *GURGLES*

perhaps i’m not a baek stan, so i didn’t realise, but my friend commented that while he was not in as bad a state as j0ngin, he COULD’VE been more hyper.

I HOPE BAEK AND J0NGIN ARE RESTING WELL. Slave Management Entertainment PLEASE HAVE A HEART.

[yeol]

okay DUDES this guy was the guy who warned the middle standing pen fans to stop f*cking pushing because they don’t want to get anyone hurt. “ok everyone in the back row (of the standing pen) please raise your hands. can those who raise your hands take one step back please” ... “ok yall raising your hands but you’re not moving back” ... (him/suh0) “we have to be very wary because if you get hurt then we can’t come back”  the entire stadium collectively went “oOOOHHHH” (not in a good way)... BUT THEY STILL DIDN’T MOVE BACK. (him/suh0) “okay you don’t want to move back? then we’ll retreat to the stage behind then” *walks from from the smaller stage closer to exols back to the larger stage all the way at the front*

he was legit not happy. and goodness gracious did he have the right to be. didn’t this nonsense happen with exo-sc kfans before? and at that time 5ehun was the one who got angry.

anyway not only did they leave to continue performing the second set of songs on a bad note FURTHER AWAY, i HIGHLY SUSPECT that the other punishment was to take away one performance. WHICH WAS MY MOST HIGHLY ANTICIPATED ONE - SIGN. YEAH. THEY DIDN’T PERFORM IT. SHOOT ME NOW. THAT WAS THE B-SIDE I WAS IMMEDIATELY WHIPPED FOR ONCE THE TEMPO ALBUM DROPPED. f*ck.

OKAY ALL THAT ANGST ASIDE, he’s still the main goofball of the concert. HE TRIED TO TEACH US HOW TO DAB INTO THE INSIDE OF OUR ELBOWS. HE GROPED CHEN ON STAGE. HE... he does his job of an entertainer well. OMG. HE TOOK SOMEONE’S PHONE AND TOOK PICS/VIDS OF HIM AND SEHUN????? when i finally noticed it happening i thought he literally took his own phone out during performance/fan-interaction-time to take a selfie but then i find out after the concert that NO, IT’S NOT HIS PHONE. ... that phone case must be enshrined immediately.

also he had to take over some lines for some songs, and BOI DELIVERED. he sounded really nice singing :”)

[dae]

not only did he eat CDs while looking super cute in that blue suit, he BELTED OUT LIVE HIGH NOTES AND ADLIBS AND WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM. I’VE NEVER HEARD EXO LIVE, SO, OH MY GOD. it’s like you’re either screeching or silent because they’re performing but there were parts of dae’s performance where had to stop everything, put down my binoculars and eribong, stare into the air for a second, and literally say “wow” out loud. it was surreal. it was crazy. it got to the point where he covered one of xiu’s lines (i forgot which song), and i thought “oh wow, he sounds better singing this line than xiu” and i IMMEDIATELY felt guilty (I ONLY THOUGHT THIS FOR *ONE* OF XIU’S LINES, DON’T KILL ME)

he was quiet during the ment until his turn. when he was engaged he... engaged. haha about the members’ comments that his solo perf was a “different kind of sexy” from j0ngin, where he had only one drop of sweat. HAHA. *does lunges on stage* *gets molested by yeol*

dae’s actually really low-key. he’s like... a “good” boi. will respond well and politely but only when spoken to. what else do i say. sunshine angel. his smile is cute. CAT SMILE :3

[overall]

speaking of cats... baek asked us at the beginning of the concert: why’s the dress code white?

here’s a crappy pic from my android phone one minute before the lights were dimmed:

us: POWER!!! POWER!!!

exo: oh?? baek: does it represent the light power??

us: (loud murmurs of disagreement)

exo/baek: so you’re saying that’s not it... (discusses with members in korean) is it... the white marble???

us: (louder murmurs of disagreement)

exo/baek: hm i guess we can continue guessing till the concert is over haha

im not sure if anyone in the front rows, perhaps a korean fansite, screamed “cat” in korean, but after some discussion again,

exo/baek: (korean) some exols: *SCREAMS* translator: is it cat? exol: *SCREAMS AND WAVES ERIBONGS*

and this was the only legit interaction i feel we got with exo this concert... after having a taste of it at the start, i was subsequently kinda bummed we didn’t get to do this back-and-forth talking with exo (even at a shallow level) likely because of a language barrier. it felt so cool.

also, eribong v.3 was SUPER PRETTY WITH COLOURS. IT WAS MAGICAL, I SAY, MAGICAL.

the entire spectrum could be shown on this eribong. this pic more or less covers the softer range of colours this eribong is capable of. it can also show the harsh red, blue, green, yellow, and of course, white.

a 1-pixel screenshot of my Telegram video to my friend in the standing pen:

the boys were great, the performance was overall astounding, the lights and effects were stunning and pretty, and the time we spent together was too! short! exo also mentioned it’s a shame they could only come this one day for a concert, next time they’ll do two, no, THREE days... for their next album

exols: ganrklflm;fsklflkgsrkg

... WITH “THE REST OF THE MEMBERS”

exols: NAGJSK;NLDFNLGRS *EXPLODES*

tl;dr i love EXO with my entire heart. i count myself lucky for being alive at the same time exo is active and performing live.

[foofygoldfish]

"because of lou" jsjsjsjs. it's a big meme, so i'll start with pink butterfly!

General:

Rate the Ship

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last?

A long time lol - after what they’ve been through in Hope County? At the very least, they’re going to stick together platonically, but they really do love each other

How quickly did/will they fall in love? -

Pretty quick, oops - it was kinda a “we’re enemies, we’re enemies, we’re enemies, ….fuck, i really like her, when did i fall in love with you?” thing. My personal timeline for the game is about six months from helicopter crash to the final showdown with Joseph. Alice first goes to the Henbane about a week and a half in, and first meets Faith after helping the County Jail. They first talked person-to-person, not Herald-to-Deputy about three weeks after the crash, and “I love you” was first said on Halloween, though that was literally when Alice realised that she had actual, hard feelings for Faith, not just a little crush.

How was their first kiss?

….The first that wasn’t Faith the one in ‘you’ll always belong to me’? Lol. It was still unexpected -  Alice had camped out somewhere in the Henbane the night before she was planning on going and checking out the Elliot’s house and see what was going on at the F.A.N.G. center. Faith-faith, not apparition Faith, appeared, and they sat and talked for a while, before Faith leaned over and gave Alice a quick kiss and told her to go to sleep, she had a big day ahead of her.

Wedding:

Going with the no-bomb au for this, sorry lol

Who proposed?

Alice!

Who is the best man/men?

Oh god, you’re making me dig for this - For the big wedding? Mary May is Alice’s maid of honor, with Hurk, Hudson, Grace, and Claire as her bridesmaids.

Who are the bridesmaid(s)?

For Faith - Elizabeth is her maid of honor, with Kim, Carolina, and Jane (Alice’s sister) as her bridesmaids.

Neither had anyone for their first wedding, beyond someone with them to sign the paperwork.

Who did the most planning?

Uh. For the first wedding? Faith. Second wedding? Neither Faith or Alice were allowed to touch the planning stuff, it was all Mary May and Adelaide.

Who stressed the most?

Alice, because of the not being allowed to be involved with the planning (other than certain vetoes), and Faith - both times, she was worried about people’s perception of her still.

How fancy was the ceremony?

First wedding at their cabin: Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Second wedding in Fall’s End: Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?

Joseph, oops. I didn’t write that any of the brothers were there, but John and Jacob were sitting in the back watching the ceremony. Joseph, however, is still locked up….

Oh, Hurk Sr too

Sex:

Who is on top?

They take turns, but usually Alice

Who is the one to instigate things?

….70/30 Alice to Faith lol

How healthy is their sex life?

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they?

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | ….6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last?

How much time do they have? Lol. They’re both pretty good at quickies, but they both love getting to take their time and draw things out.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms?

Oh, absolutely.

How rough are they in bed?

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7| 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally?

One - David

How many children will they adopt?

Two! Claire and Caroline! :)

Who gets stuck with the most diapers?

…Faith has a stronger stomach than Alice, so Faith.

Who is the stricter parent?

Also Faith lol - Alice would like to be, but… She’s pretty lax. As long as they aren’t breaking any laws or being stupid, she’s fine.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school?

Alice remembers the stupid shit she got up to, and she absolutely does not want any of the kids to do what she did lol

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?

Neither - the kids usually get lunch at school

Who is the more loved parent?

David loves both his moms, Claire likes Alice more, and Caro likes Faith more lol (they do love both their moms, it’s just… their interests just align more with one or the other)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

Alice

Who cried the most at graduation?

Alice, lol - Faith would be sitting next to her sighing, rubbing her back.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?

The first time it happens? The one that got in trouble expected Alice to help them.

She didn’t.

She said it was their fuckup, they get to deal with it. (She’ll pay bail, if that’s a thing, but the kid has to pay her back)

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking?

Alice is not allowed to cook. Faith learned that pretty early - she’s not a huge fan of cooking herself, but it’s better than eating at the Spread Eagle every day…

Who is the most picky in their food choice?

Alice, but mostly because her favorite foods aren’t really a thing in Montana.

Who does the grocery shopping?

Alice! If they’re going to the city for shopping, instead of just at the general store in town, she’ll make a day of it and go see a movie, go to a park, etc.

If it’s just in Fall’s End, though, it’s Faith - Alice thinks the general store is super depressing lol

How often do they bake desserts?

Maybe once a week? After everything, Alice likes to keep cookies in the house, and her and Faith have fun prepping them.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater?

Alice likes meat, Faith likes salad lol

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner?

Alice.

Grace helped make the food.

And by helped, I mean that most of the food was made by Grace, Alice just made it all look pretty.

Who is more likely to suggest going out?

Alice lol - her “cooking” is getting take-out.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?

…Alice. 100000%.

Chores:

Who cleans the room?

They both do - they’re fine with a certain level of clutter/mess, but they work to keep it from getting too bad.

Who is really against chores?

They’ve come up with a good split on the chores - they both like doing different things, so neither of them has to do stuff they don’t like, unless the other asks. (Like - Faith hates cleaning the bathroom, Alice hates doing the dishes, etc.)

Who cleans up after the pets?   

Alice - Faith was very firm on that lol. Alice is why they’re in the house, so unless Alice asks for help, she’s not going out of her way to clean up (normal) messes.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug?

…Alice.

Claire catches her doing it once, and she just laughs and has to promise Alice not to tell.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?

Faith - Alice just throws random clutter into their bedroom to deal with later, but Faith wants the house to be just a tad cleaner.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning?

…..Sharky.

He was digging for a chip that he dropped lol

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths?

Alice - Not being pressured or restricted to short showers is one of her favorite things about moving out to Montana

Who takes the dog out for a walk?

Usually Alice, though Boomer loves his walks along the creek that runs through town that Faith will take him on.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays?

Alice insists on Halloween and Christmas, though Faith eventually gets her to decorate for Valentines day as well. They go all out for the first two, with just touches of pink getting added around the house for Valentines.

What are their goals for the relationship?

They don’t really have any? They want to be together and be happy. They’d love to move somewhere warmer when they’re old and the kids have moved on, but… At least at this point, they’re still preoccupied with rebuilding the county.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon?

Alice. 100%.

Who plays the most pranks?

Claire and Caro, when they move in lmao

Faith will show them a few little things, but overall, Faith and Alice don’t really do pranks.

[queerbycrs]

so... i’m not finished writing this yet, but since apparently the idea is So Popular going by @iamalivenow‘s post, i thought i’d... lay out the basis of my the magnus archives good place au? vague spoilers up to current canon of tma (ep 120) and definite spoilers up to the end of s2 of the good place

my basic thought, at first, was that this isn’t a “full” tgp fusion -- it would incorporate elements of tma canon, and involve various kinds of amnesia. so, the characters are tormented by not remembering bits of their lives, or remembering things that line up wrong, or having flashes of memory that don’t make sense.

so, in this au, the characters already knew each other in ways that are similar but not identical to canon. that’s part of the reason elias-as-michael is so confident it’ll work out: that idiot michael just threw together some humans and hoped they’d click perfectly horribly. these people have history, and it’ll torment them or just be informational, as required.

so, elias is michael, obviously. pre-redemption. (my thought for this is that the torture actually works so it never proceeds to the actual plot of tgp s2-onwards, so no need to figure out how it would work with elias. alternately, the humans go off through the afterlife without architectural assistance. who knows)

i’m not set on who janet is, but i might go with the suggestion of distortion? because that sounds hilarious, honestly

and there are def soulmates in this au, because it makes things ALL THE MORE PAINFUL. from most-to-least solidly formed ideas:

basira and daisy. basira remembers a picture-perfect life on earth, fifty years of marriage, dying in each other’s arms.

daisy remembers being a serial killer and trying to hide it for years until basira caught on and daisy killed her in a fit of rage, and spent the rest of her life regretting it.

neither of them have accurate recollections. but according to their first day in the good place, basira is correct, and daisy doesn’t know what the hell is going on or why she’s here, with the love of her life, who she thought she killed in the biggest mistake of her life.

(basira prolllllllllly doesn’t belong in the bad place, but elias prolly just snatched her up for his Evil Plans. no one better to torture daisy with, right?)

next: martin and jon. they remember working together, in... an archive? or something? and martin was in love with jon, and jon was oblivious.

well, the official matchmaking systems of the afterlife have chosen! you’re the perfect match for each other! have fun!

martin is completely blissed out at first! it’s wonderful! he spent all those years in hopeless love, and now he gets to spend eternity with the man he thought could never love him back!

and at first, jon is actually... okay with it? he’s a little nervous, because he’s never had a relationship that didn’t crash and burn (okay, sample size of one, but that says a lot in and of itself) but it feels so easy, at first, and it’s... okay. it’s nice.

but then his memories start to get... weird. he has dreams of the archive where he worked, except it’s... different. he remembers worms, and running, and a man’s body on the floor of his office.

he remembers a tape recorder, and he starts recording here, too. just in case.

eventually, as jon’s paranoia starts to build and build, things start going bad for martin, too: he’s having nightmares too, of worms and crushing loneliness, and jon is retreating and won’t talk to him, and this cute older guy who works at the kayak rental/canoe group/scuba-diving-but-without-equipment-because-we’re-dead-and-don’t-need-to-breathe place keeps hitting in him and he’s kind of into it and he feels Really Bad about it

and then i get to, like, melanie and tim and georgie, and in this version of the au i don’t know what to do with them, so i would probably pair up melanie and tim -- their respective responses to stress don’t work well together, at All, so i guess if the tension started turning up they’d probably torture each other pretty effectively.

which leaves georgie. and i’m thinking, maybe elias just doesn’t know how to torture her. she was added to his carefully-planned group without advance notice (probably as a test, those goddamn suits in the department don’t understand how difficult and complicated this is--) and so he just. tells her that her soul is perfectly complete on its own, and she has the admiral for company, but she doesn’t have a soulmate.

georgie’s like, sweet. she can live her best life (afterlife) and hang out with her cat that will be with her forever! this is awesome.

(the admiral probably died of natural causes a few years before, after living a full and very happy life; it got a lovely afterlife until georgie arrived and they got to hang out again. this is how it is for all pets. don’t @ me you know i’m right and i will not take suggestions)

it’s not perfect, because elias just keeps throwing Problems at her to see what’ll stick. but she’s doing pretty good.

alternately:

basira/daisy, and

jon/tim. tim’s reaction to jon’s paranoia is probably a lot more external than martin’s is, which probably leads to some nasty fights. jon probably thinks tim is turning against him, it’s a whole big mess. tim might get seduced away a couple times to increase his guilt and add some depth to their bad relationship, because this is Literal Hell.

melanie/georgie, because Wrench Thrown Into Plan, had to make some adjustments. there’s probably some memory mismatch and external pressure, but it’s not too bad.

martin is a complete person who needs no soulmate to make his afterlife perfect. not a monk, like jason (elias scoffs at the heavy-handedness, the unsubtlety of that.) just perfectly fulfilled in solitude.

he probably gets fully seduced by peter lukas, aka mr. “kayak rental/canoe group/scuba-diving-but-without-equipment-because-we’re-dead-and-don’t-need-to-breathe place” guy. and then there’s a lot of, “oh god this was a mistake what will we tell our soulmates” from peter (externally) and a lot of “i’m going to be alone for literal eternity and even my hookup doesn’t know about it, because it’s so unusual to not have a soulmate” from martin (internally.)

looking at it now, version 1 does seem better and more thought-out, so if i do actually progress with this i’ll prolly go with that. but hey, if someone wants to run with version 2... (or one, idc really) please do, i will love it.

SO. onto: demons!

you know in the beginning of tgp season 2, when michael is doing the pep talks to the demons and one of them keeps asking if he can bite the humans?

okay, that, but with jane prentiss

she just wants to infect them. just a lil. just a few worms in their houses, even

(elias screams internally. why are his demons so incompetent.)

nikola is a mannequin in the windows of one of the stores in the cute little town. she moves... just a little bit... whenever you look away (like a weeping angel.) she probably shows up in people’s houses in the middle of the night and stands at the foot of their beds. when elias is asked about it, he assures them that it was just a nightmare.

there are so many spiders in this afterlife. martin loves it. nearly everyone else... does not.

jude perry owns a pizza place with a classic pizza oven. it’s... weirdly hot in there? (”she spent all her years on earth perfecting this pizza,” elias explains to someone who feels like they’re dying of heatstroke. “she adapted to the heat. it would be cruel to take it away from her.”)

the pizza is delicious, once it’s burned the roof of your mouth to bloody strips

mike crew runs the skydiving/flying place. the humans don’t understand why it’s so painful and weird when they do it. they’re clearly just doing it wrong! why don’t they try again. and again.

not!sasha is there, and sasha isn’t. (i don’t know, i can’t think of how it would work.) (maybe she kept throwing a wrench in elias’s plans so he didn’t want her in his neighbourhood.) she’s soulmates with some random demon and is probably out there, idk, tormenting people with weird uncanny valley.

she runs a wax museum, like the museum in tgp s2, when the gang goes to the real bad place and it has plaques for the first person to do some petty bad thing (telling a woman to smile, sending an unprompted dick pic, flossing in an open-concept workplace, etc.) the wax figures also move in creepy ways, just a little bit.

i’m sure once i write this i’ll flesh out more of the demons, but one last thing:

who is mindy st. clair, you ask?

my answer is: it’s not one person. it’s gertrude and gerry.

but how, you ask? isn’t that like, a really special, one-time thing?

well, dear reader, for one thing, points and afterlife designations work differently in this au than they do in tgp, for practical reasons of getting all the characters i care about into hell. and also, the system doesn’t make sense.

so gertrude and gerry either a) both evened out the points (and medium places aren’t very uncommon) or b) this is an au where you can be “claimed” by the good place or the bad place at random, and neither place wanted them. either/or.

the thing is, though, that the medium place is not meant to be torture. and for the vast majority of people, being alone for eternity with only the most mediocre entertainment and literally nothing to do? is torture.

for mindy, she was incredibly self-centred; being alone is fine. she doesn’t mind being around other people for short periods of time, and she probably wants to get laid, but she’s okay in her own company.

most people are not. and obviously we don’t actually know much about gertrude and gerry’s relationship, but what i’m going to guess is that they didn’t hate each other, or especially like each other, but they aren’t each other’s favourite person, either.

thus, the best person to spend eternity with for absolute mediocrity, they can both be alone when they want and also have company when they need to not go completely off the deep end.

and that’s what i have so far.

and here’s a bonus if you read this far: i also started writing a tgp magnus archives au, where michael (tgp michael) got the gang together in s3 by sending them all to the magnus institute to give a statement. i have most of eleanor’s statement written. still not sure what i want to do with it, but there you go: fusion-ception, an au both ways.