#so cute and so informatiive

[alexbkrieger13]

Sara Bjork’s pregnancy story shocked women’s football, but it’s different at Chelsea

Everyone at Chelsea has been so supportive of Melanie Leupolz before, during and after her pregnancy. Her baby boy has even become our mascot!

Possibly the biggest story in women’s football so far this year has been that of Iceland captain Sara Bjork winning her case against her former club Lyon after they stopped paying her when she got pregnant.

I read her account on the Players’ Tribune and it is fair to say it raised questions about the culture of women’s football and attitudes towards pregnancy and motherhood. The same goes for Reading captain Emma Mukandi’s comments recently questioning the maternity conditions available to WSL players.

Both stories created headlines but I would like to paint a different, more encouraging, picture for you. Last weekend my Chelsea team-mate Melanie Leupolz was back in our matchday squad for the first time since giving birth in September.

Since the day she surprised us by announcing her pregnancy, everything has been positive inside our club surrounding Melanie. We have had open discussions and shared in her joy. Not for a second was there a feeling of “she won’t be able to play now”.

We were actually in a meeting room expecting something on tactics when we found out. An ultrasound scan appeared on the screen and her name was there at the top: Melanie Leupolz. She then stood up and told us and the response was like she had won an award.

We had a baby shower for her and a goodbye meal before she went back to Germany to give birth. When we played at Paris-Saint Germain in the Champions League in October she paid us a surprise visit with her baby boy.

Where Emma Mukandi said her baby was not welcome at her club’s training ground, things could not be more different with Melanie.

Of course, there are certain restrictions regarding times and places but the staff and team have welcomed Melanie’s baby with open arms. Whenever he is around the training ground, everyone just lights up – he is like a little mascot and gets passed around. He is such a happy baby and puts a smile on everyone’s face.

Melanie even brought him and his nanny along to our mid-winter training camp in Spain, and it was cool to see the club allow that. When we got emailed the squad list for that trip, Melanie’s name was there and his below – like he had been called up too, which was so cute.

If I am giving you a positive picture, I acknowledge that pregnancy does raise big question marks for female athletes. In some ways, things will never be the same and you have to make sacrifices. And if you do not have a partner who can look after the baby, there is the financial cost of childcare.

Yet I am optimistic things are changing for the better. The WSL took a forward step, for example, with the introduction of a league-wide maternity policy for the first time ahead of this current season. This means a player going on maternity leave is paid 100 per cent of her weekly wage, as well as any other remuneration and benefits, for the first 14 weeks before reverting to the statutory rate. Emma Mukandi has said it is not enough but it is a start at least.

Going back to Melanie, the specialist support she has received has been wonderful. We are fortunate at Chelsea to have help from a sport scientist called Georgie Bruinvels who is a consultant with our menstrual cycles, and she was in weekly contact with Melanie even while she was back in Germany.

With the break from playing football, Melanie was able to focus on other aspects of her body, including building up the strength in her glutes and her hamstrings. Crucially, the club engaged a pelvic-floor physiotherapist to work with her too

What impresses me is how quickly Melanie has got her fitness back. I know her sleep is not the same – as you would expect – but she has surprised herself with her physical condition since coming back at the end of November. It is important not to rush back, though, and she finally rejoined us in full training at the start of this month.

Melanie is not the first team-mate I have seen bounce back after having a baby. A couple of years ago, my Sweden colleague Elin Rubensson recorded her best sprint-test speed six months after giving birth.

I am fascinated by the science of this and Georgie at the club explained to me this week that during pregnancy, a woman’s heart rate and the oxygen-carrying capacity in her blood increases – after all, her heart has to pump for two. For athletes who continue to train during pregnancy, these benefits can last longer than the usual six to 12 weeks after giving birth and bring performance improvements.

As Georgie added: “Quite a few people are known to have improved their personal best in track and field, for example. There are cases of athletes coming back and being better, partly because their body has gone through this process.” In short, keep a close eye on Melanie in the weeks ahead!

[onyourowndaisymae]

would i follow these obey me characters on social media? + social media headcanons

explanations + hcs below the cut:

content warnings: playful mentions of cyberbullying/death threats (reader's discretion advised)

post notifications on, loyal mutuals for life: thirteen, barbatos, mammon, satan

you cannot convince me thirteen does not have the funniest fucking twitter imaginable. she posts a lot of funny shit herself but also retweets a lot of good content too. she seems like the type to get in fights on social media and win by humiliating her opponent in the funniest way possible. probably makes a lot of jokes about fucking one or both of your parents

the barbatos one might be controversial but hear me out. i think that any account he'd run in association to his work would be dry as hell. but a personal, deeply private account? funny as FUCK. i think this man wouldn't post very often but when he does, it is quite literally some of the funniest shit you've ever seen. he's ancient, too, so i think he'd be persistent. just years of logging on to tell elon musk to k*ll himself (whiCH I AM NOT ENDORSING @ THE GOV IM JUST MAKING A JOKE OKAY WE'RE ALL LAUGHING HERE) in new and creative ways

mammon would probably post a lot about his shenanigans and that to me is worth tuning in to. i think his social media would consist of him posting about a new scheme/plan part of the way through (when things are most exciting) and then updating hours/days later with an "update: lucifer caught me and made me wear a dunce hat for a week straight" or something like that

satan would post the most normally in this category but i think he'd have some genuinely interesting stuff. he'd probably use a photo-based platform like instagram (technically devilgram but y'know what i mean) and his content would fall into two categories: cat pics and the most amazing, exclusive events you've ever seen. he'll post a photo dump of cats he feeds one week and then next is him at some gorgeous exclusive hot springs on a free trip one of his connections invited him on.

mutuals by choice <3: asmo, simeon, luke, levi

asmo posts a lot about himself, but like. c'mon. he's so pretty. and he also just posts a lot of pretty aesthetic influencer photos so it's nice to see him on your feed. he posts a lot, too, so your feed never quite runs dry when he's your mutual. he's also the type to hype your photos up in the comments like you're the only other person on the platform. lots of heart emojis and flirtatious comments on very mundane posts

simeon would be fun to follow in the way that old people are fun to follow on social media. long, sweet captions on his weekly post (that someone helped him post), cute but off-center selfies with the things he cares about, funny grandpa comments on your photos-- ex. "nice photo mc... 👍" without realizing how funny that comes off

luke is just cute and posts cute things. lots of stray animals, pretty sunsets, and cute baked goods. he's even got a few rare photos of barbatos on there looking slightly relaxed. levi made luke's accounts private when he first set them up bc he's been on too many weird corners of the internet to let that innocent angel be corrupted.

speaking of levi, he'd post a LOT about his dorky (affectionate) interests. he's one of the few that would post every day on multiple platforms. there's a pretty small chance you care about each and every thing he posts but regardless, it's nice to see him so enthused and happy.

mutuals bc i'd feel bad unfollowing: belphie, lucifer, diavolo, mephisto

belphie's accounts have all been inactive for YEARS, but if you unfollow him he does get offended. he found out asmo unfollowed him at some point and started an argument about it.

lucifer's social media is also rarely active, but anything he posts is usually at least a little important, so if you unfollow he'll know and get on you about missing it.

diavolo's account is quite literally all royal bullshit and official devildom information, but seeing as he doesn't have personal social media, he still values his friends following him. if you unfollow, his feelings will be hurt, but he'll stay quiet about it.

mephisto's account literally just posts the same lame shit that the RAD newspaper account does, word-for-word and post-for-post. unfollowing either of these accounts comes off as a slight from the feeble human that doesn't care about the devildom. his complaining is always so loud.

not following + no plans to follow: beel, raphael

beel posts exclusively about food. he doesn't run a food-themed account, that's literally all he finds interesting enough to post. he rates all of his meals after he finishes, too. fun, but not my type of content.

something in my heart of hearts tells me raphael's photos are all blurry. like he just thinks his D.D.D. camera is bad when really he won't focus the damn camera before taking a pic.

blocked, reported, cyberbullied for good measure: solomon

i KNOW this man is a menace on social media. he probably eggs on conspiracy theorists and purposely spreads misinformation. it's funny at first until following him starts filling your feed with the crazy bullshit he likes/retweets. he is playing devil's advocate on social media for the dumbest, most argumentative people online bc he thinks it's funny and it's quite literally going to drive you insane if you don't block him. when he's causing problems, he's posting stupid shit. he'd be the type to unironically post the "saw a snail today. effervescent" shit

[skyetenshi]

Ich habe gerade "Die Falschen Detektive" durchgelesen (Spoiler?) und ich mag das Buch richtig gerne. Ich liebe es ohnehin, wenn unsere Jungs auf einer persönlichen Ebene in ihre Fälle hineingezogen werden und plötzlich Doppelgänger zu haben, gehört definitiv dazu. Als sie dann erwischt werden, kann Peter erstmal wieder sein Wissen über Hunde beweisen und dann seine kaum vorhandene Ausredekunst, als er absurderweise anfängt von den Schnabeltieren in den USA. Und Justus muss das retten und damit haben wir ein konstantes Schnabeltierthema durch diese Buch (Schnabeltiere for the win! Es kann ab hier nur besser werden. Spolier, das wird es.) Es kommt die absolute Cuteness dazu wie sich unsere Drei verkleiden. Peter mit getönter Retrobrille ❤️. (Mein Kopf hat sich defintiv eine Brille von Stan Lee als Vorbild gesucht und ich liebe dieses Hipsterbild für Peter.) Bob mit zusammen gebundenen, langen Haaren, worüber sich Peter auch noch lustig macht.😍 Und dann der... Unfall, der auf Justus' Kopf passiert (Schade, dass Tante Mathilda nicht vorkommt.) Aber fair enough, Justus hat Peter schon mal nen Sender aus der Schulter geholt, also kann Peter sich auch mal als Friseur auf Justus' Kopf austoben. Außerdem hat er sich entschuldigt und es war keine Absicht. Überhaupt ist die ganze "Undercover als Streber" Geschichte schon super lustig. Und dann gibt es so viele schöne Details. Der falsche Peter, der Bob einfach einen Magenhieb gibt, der echte Peter der später an dieser Stelle steht und sich denkt, dass "hier der Kampf stattgefunden haben muss". Peter, Hase, Schätzchen,... Bob hat einen Schlag kassiert und selbst nichts gemacht, das ist kein Kampf! Und dann Peter, der sich agentenmäßig während der Fahrt aus Bobs Auto stiehlt, Bob, der ein Ablenkungsmanöver startet, was sich als Fehlzündung seines Wagens gestaltet, was anscheinend daran liegt, dass Onkel Titus an seinem Käfer rumgeschraubt hat. (Fun?) Aber Peter macht sich in dieser Folge wikrlich gut. Er verliert mal kurz sein Handy, aber naja, dass kann schon mal passieren, wenn man ein Auto in voller Fahrt verlässt (auch wenn es sehr, sehr langsam fährt - das hat mich ein bisschen an Andreas' Entführungsstory erinnert). Während aber Bob so fantastisch vorspielt nicht gut Auto fahren zu können, dass Justus sogar schlecht wird, schleicht sich Peter in das Haus, wo sich 5 Personen befinden, die ihn nicht erwischen dürfen und nimmt auf reine Vermutung und Bauchgesfühl direkt mal eines der wichtigsten Elemente des Falls an sich. Bravo! Und weil das nicht reicht, stiehlt er auch gleich das Rätsel, welches Justus sich noch nicht merken konnte. Er bleibt absolut cool während er fast erwischt wird und bereitet sich schon darauf vor, sich mit Kampfsport zu verteidigen, was dann zum Glück nicht nötig ist. Erfolgreich zurück bei seinen Freunden, muss erst mal beschattet werden, weswegen Justus und Bob lsoziehen. Gefühlt macht Peter in diesem Buch alles wichtige, erstaunlicherweise hatte ich aber nicht das Gefühl, dass Bob oder Justus zu kurz kommen. Während Bob den falschen Peter beschattet gibt es ihm mal wieder Gelegenheit eine junge Dame "Sirene" kennenzulernen, die ihm anbietet ihm Gitarre spielen besser beizubringen. 😉 Kommen wir zurück zu Peter. Der bemerkt, nicht nur dass der falsche Bob ihn beobachtet hat, sondern er folgt ihm wiederum und findet anschließend die Wanze, die in ihrer Unterbringung platziert wurde. Dann bemüht sich Peter sehr stark das Rästel zu lösen und forscht unter Einsatz seiner Sicherheit nach, wobei er sich seinen Fuß verstaucht. Son verstauchter Fuß hält Peter aber nicht ab, einen Einbrecher zu bekämpfen, auch wenn das der falsche Peter mit echter Kampfsporterfahrung ist. Und trotz Verletzung erkämpft Peter sich wenigstens ein Unentschieden. Und dann löst Peter praktisch den ganzen Fall.

Der in dem Kampf zum Vorschein gekommene Schlüssel, bringt Peter sofort auf die richtige Spur, und er findet das Geheimversteck und kann das was er findet sofort mit den Informationen, die er zuvor gelesen hatte verbinden und erkennt das Adlerholz. Außerdem schafft er es sogar noch den falschen Peter - Minh mehr auf seine Seite zu ziehen und die Wahrheit zu erfahren. Natürlich findet auch Justus raus wie alles zusammen hängt aber Peter war DER ERSTE der den Fall beisammen hatte. Hoooray! Ich mag die Mischung, die hier eine Rolle spielt sehr gerne. Die Jungs sind untereinander sehr aufmerksam. Sobald Geister erwähnt werden schaut Justus zu Peter. Peter und Bob nehmen alle undercover Lügen ihres Ersten an. Peter spielt eine Führende Rolle ohne die anderen in den Schatten zu stellen. Es werden Geister erwähnt und Peter verliert mal nicht den Kopf. Peters Bauchgefühl, das Justus einfach abtut, setzt sich als absolut korrekt durch und Peters Vertauen in Minh, bringt ihm die Lösung, was wahrscheinlich etwas ist, was Justus nicht gelingen würde, weil er lieber selbst alles herausfindet. Die falschen Detektive werden zwischendrin einfach die flaschen Schnabeltiere genannt -- Süß!. Und wenn das nicht Peters beste Biologiearbeit jemals wird, mit seinem neuen Wssen über Schnabeltiere udn asiatische Pflanzen, dann weiß ich auch nicht. Abgesehen, davon ist das Ende halt super süß, wo Peter meint im Dunkeln Schnebeltiere zu sehen udn nun erpicht darauf ist, dieses Rästel auch noch zu lösen. Und ganz ehrlich Die drei ??? - Die Falschen Detektive, ist so ein guter Titel, für eine Serie, die schon solange läuft. Ich hoffe ein bisschen, dass Peter und Minh noch eine Freundschaft aufbauen, denn die haben sich ganz gut verstanden. Außerdem: Peter gibt im Gespräch mit Minh zu, dass sie vielleicht nicht immer an Sport und Mädchen interessiert sind, aber es ist nicht so schlimm wie es aussieht. 🤣 So kann man es natürlich auch beschreiben.

Und Cotta hat ein Bild bekommen, von den drei in Verkleidung, also wette ich darauf, dass das Bild einen sehr sicheren Platz gefunden hat.^^

[kneedeepincynade]

For once, let's talk about something nice. What better than some fluffy friends to make the day go better?

The post is machine translated

Translation is at the bottom

The collective is on telegram

🥳 Il 2023 è l'Anno del Coniglio, un tenero animale gentile, agile, pacifico e che - quando è felice - corre e saltella in giro, portando gioia e allegria 😂

😍 Sempre più Cinesi, su entrambe le Sponde dello Stretto, hanno deciso di comprare e adottare un tenero coniglietto come animale domestico. Anch'io* ho un coniglio, da alcuni anni

🇨🇳 A Chongqing, Shanghai, Pechino e Guangzhou si registrano molte adozioni e vendite, e i proprietari di negozi per animali permettono alle persone di accarezzare i coniglietti, per far sentire loro quanto sono morbidi. Anche nel 2011, Anno del Coniglio, tante persone avevano iniziato ad adottarli:

💬 «La pelliccia del coniglio è molto morbida», dice un cliente in un negozio a Chongqing, e il coniglio ariete - con le sue caratteristiche gentili, tra cui le lunghe orecchie cadenti, è uno dei più richiesti da giovani studenti e signore ❤️

🇨🇳 Anche a Tianjin e Changsha, così come a Xuzhou, i coniglietti sono diventati animali popolari, e l'enorme richiesta ha portato anche ad una campagna di sensibilizzazione sull'animale: il coniglio non va tenuto in gabbia, deve stare libero 🐰

😂 La popolarità ha portato le persone a scherzare sull'argomento | domanda su 知乎: «Perché molte persone comprano il coniglio senza sapere come tenerlo?», risponde scherzosamente 摩艾君: «è silenzioso, non disturba le persone e può essere usato per fare colpo sulle ragazze», inoltre prima in pochi lo avevano come animale domestico, quindi sembra «molto speciale» 😂

🐰 Non è un giocattolo, è un essere vivente, e quindi va adottato solo dopo essersi informati su come poterlo tenere: come ha scritto 胖丁兔 su 小红书, non bisogna tenerlo in gabbia, deve essere libero per essere «il coniglietto più felice del Mondo» 😍

😘 Anche la mia coniglietta 蒙蒙 è sempre libera in casa, può saltellare, correre e riposarsi dovunque voglia 😉

🤩 Credits su Douyin:

🐰 萌宠百科Show, 橙橙是兔叽, The Straits Times, 小飞说, 商丘宠物兔子店(可领兔子), 爱兔萌嘟嘟 | «Amo il mio coniglietto dalle orecchie cadenti» 🙂

🌸 Iscriviti 👉 @collettivoshaoshan

*io,sov, non ho un coniglio,è lo scrittore dei post ad averne uno

🥳 2023 is the Year of the Rabbit, a tender, gentle, agile, peaceful animal who - when happy - runs and jumps around, bringing joy and happiness 😂

😍 More and more Chinese, on both sides of the Strait, have decided to buy and adopt a cute bunny as a pet. I*have a rabbit,too, for a few years

🇨🇳 In Chongqing, Shanghai, Beijing, and Guangzhou, there are many adoptions and sales, and pet store owners allow people to pet bunnies to let them feel how fluffy they are. Even in 2011, the Year of the Rabbit, many people had started to adopt them:

💬 "The rabbit's fur is very soft," says a customer in a shop in Chongqing, and the ram rabbit - with its gentle features, including long drooping ears, is one of the most requested by young students and ladies ❤️

🇨🇳 Even in Tianjin and Changsha, as well as in Xuzhou, bunnies have become popular animals, and the huge demand has also led to an animal awareness campaign: rabbits shouldn't be kept in cages, they should be free 🐰

😂 The popularity has led people to joke about it | question about 知乎: «Why do many people buy the rabbit without knowing how to hold it?», 摩艾君 jokingly replies: «it's silent, it doesn't disturb people and it can be used to impress girls», furthermore few had it before as a pet, so it looks «very special» 😂

🐰 It's not a toy, it's a living being, and therefore it should be adopted only after having found out how to keep it: as 胖丁兔 wrote on 小红书, it must not be kept in a cage, it must be free to be «the most happy of the World» 😍

😘 Even my bunny 蒙蒙 is always free at home, she can jump, run and rest wherever she wants 😉

🤩 Credits on Douyin:

🐰 萌宠百科Show, 橙橙是兔叽, The Straits Times, 小飞说, 商丘宠物兔子店(可领兔子), 爱兔萌嘟嘟 | «I love my lop-eared bunny»

🌸 Subscribe 👉 @collettivoshaoshan

* Our writer has a rabbit,I,sov,don't

[ask-theticklefiends]

Question for mercenary au !! (I’m going to spam I am so sorry felix <3/hj)

chan, have you ever gotten minho to admit he’s cute/handsome or ticklish? Minho why don’t ya tell me how ticklish you are to raspberries on your tummy :)? It’s allright if you don’t answer I’m sure chan would be glad to do so, with a few extra details hehe ^^

Mercenary Chan: Minho-yah is a prideful person, he doesn't like to mention the fact that he's cute or handsome - it's just something he expects people to know. I have my methods, though~

Mercenary Minho: I refuse to disclose such private informati-

Mercenary Chan: *interrupts* he's super ticklish to those! But trust me, i've tried everything and using your fingers is the most effective method there! He's also super ticklish on his... ow! Hey! Don't hit me!

Mercenary Minho: you are far too shameless...

[scottdaddymccall-blog]

SHH... Scott McCall x Reader

Requested by; anon

This is about a girl who joins beacon hills who seems to find herself crushing over Scott McCall but can't do much about it as she's not allowed to date because of her strict parents. This will be FLUFF and SMUT but in the next few parts. please let me know what you think. x

WARNINGS:

A bit of bullying and really awkward but cute Scott Mccall

The bell rings indicating it's the end of the school day and everyone chatters and rushes out excited to leave school for the weekend. I see Lydia Martin the beautiful green eyed strawberry blonde, she's one of the most popular girls at school, she's talking to Scott McCall the hottest guy in school and the captain of the lacrosse team along with Stiles Stilinkski, I've never really spoken to any of them other than stiles and from the short moments we had together he was goofy and sweet as we had been science partners last term.

I feel awkward approaching them as I'm the new girl and they're the popular gang. Lydia looks worried and is whispering something now and I can't help but stare at Scott, yes it's true i have been crushing on him since the day I started Beacon Hills High school I don't realise how close I am to them when stiles clears his throat "ahem" Lydia stops and looks at me with raised eyebrows

"can I help you new girl!" She says harshly

"I'm s-sorry I just-I - I wasn't trying to eavesdrop I just" Lydia cuts me off

"you was just what? Clearly trying to listen to our conversation" I just freeze not knowing what to say or do without making her even more angry

"What do you want" she widens her eyes getting impatient by the second

"I needed to get to my locker... you're leaning on it" I quickly explain Lydia looks up in disbelief guilt rising over her face and she closes her eyes

"I'm so so sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, I'm having a really bad day" she apologises smiling I knew her apology was genuine because unlike other popular girls she wasn't cruel so I smile back

"I-it's okay honestly" I say while opening my locker and grabbing my books. "You're in our history class right? It's Y/N isn't it?" Scott asks trying to lighten the mood He knows my name and I squeal in my mind trying to play it cool

"Y-yeah it's uh Y/N Y/L/N" I smile awkwardly at the trio

"Again I'm really sorry for being a bitch I hope I didn't hurt your feelings" Lydia apologises again feeling terrible no doubt I laugh it off and tell her I didn't take it personally and leave on my way home.

~~~Next day ~~~~

I walk in the cafeteria to find a empty seat, earning glares and whispers, truth is I never managed to make any friends or even acquaintances and being the new girl meant everyone was talking about you. I ignored everyone and walked out with my lunch in my hand,

I find a empty stairwell and sit down on the floor glad to finally be alone and not having to hear people "whispering" about you. I cross my legs and grab my sandwich taking a bland bite my hunger disappearing at the mean comments I just heard,

"her hair looks funny"

"she's such a loner"

"ew that weirdo just looked at me"

"don't make any eye contact she might sit with us"

"what is she wearing"

all the words float around in my head, usually I just ignore stuff like that but for some reason right now I felt really lonely and hurt and I feel my emotions get the best of me as tears start to drop down my cheek. I hear a corridor door open and footsteps but don't bother moving, too upset to care if anyone sees me crying. I don't look up so only see a pair of light brown male shoes, he walks past me slowly and stops, he turns towards me and slides down next to me bending his knees upwards and his back against the wall. I still don't look up at this stranger sniffling and wiping my tears away facing opposite to him.

"Hi?" I hear his voice peak awkwardly and my mood instantly lightens up as I recognise this strangers voice. I turn to look at Scott sitting next to me.

"Hi..." I whisper back wiping tears off my face We sit in a awkward silence until Scott speaks up

"Teenagers can be cruel"

"Yeah tell me about it" I scoff

"And you may think I'm just saying this because you think I feel sorry for you but I genuinely mean it..... you can talk to me about it" his voice full of sincerity I look at him to see if he really means the words he just said searching his eyes for a piece of doubt and look down when I don't find it.

"Why do you care?" I whisper, returning my eyes to his. He doesn't speak for a while but the silence is anything but awkward

"I just do" he simply replies smiling

"Do you want to maybe just ditch last period, I can show you some cool places I usually hang out around town" he softly queried

"Skip class?" I whisper raising my eyebrows He leans in removing the small space between us and whispers back mockingly

"yes skip class"

"Noo, I've never skipped class"

"Never?"

"Ever"

"Wow"

"What?"

"You're a miss goody two shoes"

"Am not"

"Hmm"

"Hmm?"

"Hmm"

"What if we get in trouble?"

"I'll get stiles to cover for us"

"Stiles?"

"You're right ill tell Lydia"

"So what now we just walk out?" Scott gets up and helps me up his touch making my heart skip a beat, as if he knew this he looks at me raising a brow "Yeah as easy as 1..2..3" he explains

We leave and walk to the parking lot trying to hide away from any teachers lurking around and quickly get to Scott's bike the adrenaline rushing through my body at this new and rebellious inner me. He hands me a helmet and grabs the other fitting it on his head while climbing on his bike revving his clutch, he notices my nervousness and gently grabs my hands around his torso,

"make sure to hold on tight yeah" he nods and I nod back and with that off we go.

"Scott I had a really fun time with you" I blush, getting off his bike and returning his helmet.

"Thank you" I mouth with a huge grin plastered on my face Scott seams to have enjoyed our time too as he's smiling as well

"It was my pleasure, I hope we can do that again? Sometime..." he curiously asks

"Yeah I'd love that" I replied

"Is this your house?" He looks up at the house were parked near

"No uh actually I live further down the road" I breathed

"Oh I'm sorry I thought you asked me to stop here?" he questions

"Oh I did"

Scott turns his head to one side eyeing me curiously

"What why" he laughs

"I know it's weird it's just uh my parents are really over protective and if they see me talking to a guy they'd probably freak out" I stammered

"Oh"

"Yeah ...."

"Well I was gonna ask if you wanted to study for that history paper together"

"Together?"

"Yeah...at lunch....tomorrow"

"S-sure yeah of course"

"Great it's a date"

"A date?"

"Uh I mean not a date date it's a time ..uh a uh study time" he mumbles adorably causing me to smile uncontrollably

"Study date?"

"Yeah yeah a study... date" he nervously repeats

"I really need to get going I have a curfew, but thanks again for today" I smile and start to walk off praying Scott stops me and asks for my nu-"wait Y/N" He yells and I stop and turn

"Uh as we're friends and well now study buddies we should have each other's contact details in case of a emergency or if there is any educational questions or informati-" I cut Scott's rambling off

"I should give you my number"

"Yeah yes that's what I was... yeah"

I write my number into Scott's mobile and hand his phone back to him, "Ride safe" I smile, he smiles back and we both leave our own ways.

[darkhymns-fic]

Murder with a Side of Lies (Ch. 5)

This showstopper of a case will be absolutely beautiful! Be sure to buy your *tickets in advance and order your favorite Glamburger and sequin shake! No one delivers true justice like MTT™!

*Refunds non-negotiable.

Fandom: Undertale Characters: Papyrus, Undyne, Catty, Mettaton, Sans Rating: PG Chapters: 5/8 Mirror Links: AO3, FF.net Notes: The sequel to Kidnappings in the Early Evening by Sky. A fusion of detective noir fiction and courtroom drama! All stories, art, etc., related to this main story will be under the tag #undertale noir. (chrono)

Suggested courtroom music!

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Mettaton Mettaton Mettaton!!

“Wow, you guys are, like, totally owning in there!” Catty said, pawing at the air playfully. Her handcuffs jingled. “I’m, like, SUPER surprised! I totally thought you guys were, like, HUGE losers!” She laughed cheerfully to herself.

“THANK YOU!” I posed, feeling proud. “IT’S OUR JOB, AFTER ALL!” Undyne frowned at the sweet compliment. She must have been embarrassed! How cute!

Since we had a bit more time in our recess, and a lot less spaghetti and bones to clean up, we figured this would be the perfect opportunity to get a bit more information out of our witness! The lobby was packed once again. I couldn’t help but notice that the audience’s tone had been shifting into a strange place more and more as the case went on.

“I’m so excited for the next act!” a bunny girl hopped, talking to her friend.

“Yes, it’s quite interesting. I actually thought this was a real court case for a while at the start.”

“Mettaton’s acting is sooo good! That skeleton and fish lady could use some lessons though, but whatever! Mettaton’s carrying the show!”

Ah, well, there’s no time for eavesdropping, though. I can’t say I understood what they were talking about, but that’s a mystery for another day!

“Catty, clear something up for us.” Undyne looked quite serious as she conversed with our client. More than a foot taller than the cat monster, she angled her head down, her red hair falling over her shoulder. “You knew Burgerpants well enough. Has he ever told you he had any enemies of the sort? Someone who wanted him dead?”

“GOOD QUESTION, UNDYNE,” I praised. “I SUPPOSE THESE ARE THE KIND OF QUESTIONS WE SHOULD HAVE ASKED HER BEFORE WE WENT THROUGH THIS TRIAL.”

“Ya, like, no kidding!” Catty said, pawing at Undyne’s hair.

“Okay! Yeah, I know! Look, anyway! Just… you got anything for us, Catty?” Undyne shifted her head from Catty’s paws as she spoke. “Even a rumor about Burgerpants might help us out.”

“I mean, like, I guess Burgerpants might have had a few people not like him…” She shook her head. “He didn’t have any enemies or friends either. He was, like, kinda weird! But he was also kinda cute! Like, ya know?”

“LIKE, DO WE KNOW, UNDYNE?”

“No.” Undyne sighed, gritting her teeth as she did so. “Do you got anything else for us? We’re trying to save you from being convicted.”

“Hmmm, oh! He did say something about wanting to be a star like Mettaton or something like that. Like, the guy was super weird about Mettaton, too! Can you believe he didn’t even have a poster of him? Soooo weird!”

Undyne blinked. “Wait, back up a second. He didn’t like Mettaton? He told you that?”

“Uhhhh, he told, like, everybody!” Catty scoffed. “Anybody who’s anybody gets a glamburger and another of his life stories.”

“IS THAT THE STANDARD FARE WITH A GLAMBURGER PURCHASE?”

“No duh!”

Now, to be fair, I wasn’t sure how this would help our case in any way! Burgerpants not having any kind of social life was totally irrelevant! And the fact that he was badmouthing Mettaton didn’t paint our client in the nicest light! But I am sure he was a swell guy.

“Court is back in session! ;)” winked a voice from the courtroom’s double-doors.

“Damn, that was barely a half hour.” Undyne tugged at her collar, seething at every monster passerby. I should cheer her up!

“DON’T WORRY, UNDYNE! I’M SURE WE WILL COME UP WITH SOMETHING AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE TO TURN THIS CASE UPSIDE DOWN AND DO A FULL 360! I BELIEVE IN THE BOTH OF US!”

“Heh, yeah, you’re right.” There was that familiar, predatory, kinda scary grin from Undyne! “Although it’d have to be something crazy though…”

“Now, my dear darlings and gentledarlings! If this isn’t truly conclusive evidence, then I don’t know what is!”

Back in the crowded courtroom, I was reminded of the new evidence about our client. The pink nail was sparkling within the palm of Mettaton’s hand, almost accusing in its very existence.

“so, uh, what’s so conclusive about it?” Sans asked rather sensibly, then ruined it as he shrugged and said, “cuz i ain’t able to draw any conclusions from it.”

Instead of being rightfully offended, Mettaton explained his reasoning, which I suppose was part of his job. “While I must say Catty has some impeccable taste regarding her manicures – no tearing, an even file, and such a fine coat of nail polish with three layers, very good – this all but points to her as the true culprit to this crime! Even more so than it already has!”

The court gallery oohed and awed at Mettaton’s speech, me included! I felt Undyne jab me in the ribs.

“Papyrus, come on!”

“IT IS A VERY EXQUISITE LOOKING NAIL THOUGH.”

“That’s hardly important.”

“While it may not seem like it is important, this speaks of the impeccable taste of customers who frequently visit the esteemed MTT Nail and Salon Studio! Just the nail varnish alone tells us of its beauty!”

“Objection!” Undyne shouted, planting a boot against the counter. “How do we even know that’s from MTT?”

“Why, darling, it’s trademarked right here.”

I squinted my eye sockets quite vigorously and there! The trademarked symbol was wedged into the very corner of the nail.

Sans wasn’t even looking in the nail’s direction, but was nodding his skull listlessly. “checks out then.”

This, I soon began to realize, did not bode well for our case. And it had looked bad enough already!

“The true killer had these nails on while they decided to commit their nefarious deed. It was found just inches away from Burgerpants’ dust. And so, as they say in show business, that’s a wrap, beauties and gentlebeauties!”

Wow! This really wasn’t good at all!

“CATTY,” I inquired of our client. “DO YOU GO TO MTT SALON A LOT?”

“Well, duh! I go there like, all the time!” She pawed at her black hair, keeping it down.

“BUT, DON’T YOU, LIKE, HAVE NO MONEY?”

“Ya, but my MTT husband always lets me in, right?”

The robot celebrity answered with robotic grace. “Oh honey, darling, we welcome all customers from every path of life… and with that being said, unless you pay off your previous beauty sessions, we can no longer accept your patronage.”

I could see Undyne frowning quite heavily but also… confused? She was gnawing at a sharp nail of hers, her fangs giving her a manicure of their own! So that was the secret to her talons of justice!

Still, I had to pay attention to the case at hand. “CATTY, WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU DO AT THIS SALON?”

“I get, like, the best coats around! Like, I even use that same shade right here!” Catty held up her paw to be scrutinized. Pink claws topped it off, all lavishly painted with the trademarked MTT logo. Could this really mean that-

“Paps, wait a minute.” Undyne gripped my arm, eye narrowed. “Isn’t it kinda weird though?”

“HM?” I swiveled my skull to her. “I AM NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN.”

“Mettaton had investigated the area before and found Burgerpants’ dust. But why didn’t the dogi come across the nail the first time around?”

I pondered on this dilemma. “PERHAPS THEY JUST MISSED IT?”

“Possible, but it’s only been less than an hour since they left to go back. And just like that, they find some new evidence that Sans wanted.” Undyne narrowed her eye, her voice low. “That’s really convenient, isn’t it?”

That did seem a bit suspicious. And Mettaton, fabulous entertainer that he was, didn’t seem like he would want to waste his resources... unless he knew he’d get something in return. As if he predicted how this case would go! Could he have been holding onto this informati-

Wait a minute! I took another look at her claws.

“OF COURSE. HER CLAWS!”

“so you got something to say about her claws?” Sans interrupted. Oh, I must have spoken out loud again.

I straightened my tie and grinned wide. It was my most intimidating pose, one that was sure to have the prosecution on its knees! (Metaphorically speaking).

“THERE IS A CONTRADICTION IN THE PROSECUTION’S STATEMENT. THE EVIDENCE PRESENTED TO US ARE THE NAILS FROM MTT SALON, AND THE VERY FACT THAT THEY WERE AT THE CRIME SCENE PROVES-” Here I pointed most assuredly at Mettaton. “THAT THE CULPRIT WHO WORE SUCH NAILS HAD TAKEN PART IN SUCH A CRIME.”

Everyone hushed at the sheer power of my speech! I was a really good lawyer!

“Yes, darling, that is exactly what I just said a moment ago.” Mettaton shook his finger at me, chuckling as he did so. “Although I am quite glad that you have ceded your defeat to me and my irrefutable evidence!”

Yes! I nodded with Mettaton’s statement, until I felt another jab from Undyne. Wait, no!

I pointed at him once more, the sheer force of it enough to blow away all lies and deception! Mettaton was still standing, but he was made of metal, so that was to be expected. “BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT CATTY HAS CLAWS AND NOT NAILS! AND IF THE PROSECUTION RELIES ON THAT EVIDENCE, THEN THAT MEANS THAT CATTY, BY THAT LOGIC, IS IRREFUTABLY INNOCENT!”

I heard the crowd gasp at such amazing logic. And what’s more, Mettaton was speechless?! He made no attempt to counter my argument.

“Nice going, Paps.” Undyne grinned, then faced the robot. “What? Nothing left to say, punk?”

It was quite strange, actually. Mettaton had his hands placed together, as if deep in thought. The lights of his chassis blinked intermittently. His face was completely unreadable – well, more unreadable than it was before.

“Very well done, my darlings. Very well done.” Mettaton clapped slowly. “To think that you have deduced such a fact in so little time speaks volumes of how you may not be so completely inept after all!”

“WOWIE! THANK YOU!”

His lights blinked again. “That wasn’t a compli- you know what, forget it.”

“Papryus!” Another jab in my side. Undyne could really just tap my shoulder if she wanted my attention. “Take another good look at that nail.”

I did so, seeing it displayed on the evidence table in the middle of the courtroom. The ceiling lights made the brilliant shade of pink sparkle. It was quite a beautiful color! One could not expect less from the MTT Brand! But that’s beside the point. Undyne was being very adamant that I look at it closely.

“YES, UNDYNE. IT IS, INDEED, A NAIL. I THOUGHT WE CLEARED THAT UP EARLIER.”

“Not that. Look, Paps. Do you know of any monster who actually has nails?”

Well. Hm. It indeed was quite hard to recall any of my friends as having nails, instead of claws, appendages, tentacles, and other horrible forms of nature. And I have many friends!

“They’re human-type nails,” Undyne told me helpfully.

“OH? DO YOU MEAN THE CULPRIT WAS A HUMAN?”

“No, because the thing is, the nail is coated in magic, too. And no humans today use magic, least not like us.”

Wowie! This was a lot to ponder! I scrunched my skull in thought, but no answer was forthcoming! “SO IT MUST STILL BE A MONSTER THEN? BUT IF NO MONSTER HAS NAILS, THEN JUST WHO COULD IT EVEN BE?”

“Easy.” And then Undyne grinned so triumphantly, it revealed more fangs of hers than I thought possible. “What other monster has human-like hands?”

Instantly, I turned away from her to look over at this courtroom’s prosecutor. Specifically, at the hands he kept folded before his face/body.

Gasp!! Of course! “OBJECTION!”

Sans stared from his podium. “uh, no one was saying anything.”

“EXCUSE ME! I WAS OBJECTING TO THE FABULOUS PROSECUTOR FOR STANDING THERE MENACINGLY!”

“Now, darling, no need to be so discriminatory.” Mettaton gave a fabulous twirl on his wheel, sparkles flying from him in exquisite grace. “This is just how I stand.”

“EXCUSE ME! I WAS OBJECTING TO THE PROSECUTOR’S FABULOUS HANDS!”

“They truly are quite fabulous, I agree.” Mettaton deigned to show off his gloved hands to the crowd, who oohed and aahed at such a sight. I was impressed too!

But that wasn’t the point! “I WANT TO GO FURTHER IN MY DEDUCTIONS OVER THE NAIL THAT THE PROSECUTOR BROUGHT TO THIS COURTROOM.”

“Do you now?” Mettaton placed those hands against each other again, each fingertip in perfect symmetry to its twin.

“NO MONSTER WOULD HAVE SUCH NAILS, AS WE MUST ALL KNOW. NO MONSTER – EXCEPT ONE THAT WE ALL KNOW FAIRLY WELL.” I pointed once more at the celebrity robot. “YOU, METTATON, HAVE THE MEANS TO ACCESS SUCH NAILS AT ANY TIME, DO YOU NOT?”

Mettaton was acting surprisingly calm about all this. He didn’t even try to deny what my question implied. “Why, of course. As lead creative director and visionary for the MTT Brand, I keep track of all my subsidies and business ventures. Always finding new and innovative ways to keep MTT the #1 brand in the world!”

“AND WITH YOUR CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE VICTIM, TOO, YOU ALSO HAD MOTIVE, DID YOU NOT?”

“Nothing of the sort! My job for him was basically charity, after all!” Mettaton laughed uproariously. “Even if employing him did cost our company some money with his constant mistakes, I cared for Burgerpants as if he were one of my own!”

I prepared myself to ask him another question, but Undyne took over, slamming a fist onto the desk.

“Ngaah! This is taking too long! Mettaton! It was you who killed Burgerpants, wasn’t it?”

The crowd talked and shouted frantically at the accusation. I wished Undyne had waited for me. I was getting to that part after the build-up I was creating!

“hey, you guys.” Sans said from his bench, his tone more serious then I usually heard from him. “that’s a uh, pretty serious accusation you got there. got any evidence to back that up?”

“We will very soon.” Undyne turned from Sans to Mettaton. “You know, Mettaton, if your hands are so fabulous, why don’t you ever show it off, huh?” She placed her boot on the desk again, nearly splintering it. “Come on, take off the gloves!”

“YEAH!” I joined in excitedly. “TAKE IT ALL OFF!”

Mettaton fanned himself with those hands. “Oh my.” He turned around on his single wheel, facing my brother. “Do you hear this, Your Honor? They are so desperate that they have now resorted to pinning me, the prosecution, as the killer! Must this farce go on?”

Sans stared at all of us for a moment, which I would be generous in saying that he was deep in thought and had not fallen asleep once again. With his sharp grin aimed at Mettaton, he shrugged. “i mean, i guess they have evidence and motive or whatever.

“…I’m sorry, you guess?” Mettaton’s voice crackled ever so slightly.

“yeah.” Sans leaned back in his chair, arms behind his head. “you gonna do something about it?”

“Actually…” Mettaton slowly turned back to us, his wheel doing a perfect half-circumference. He stood in the middle of the courtroom, the spotlights focused on him and him only. “I think I will.”

Then, with astounding grace and in an extremely loud voice that even matched my own, Mettaton posed, suddenly bringing out a microphone as the letters MTT glowed above him from dazzling lights. Wowie! This courtroom really pulls out all the stops!

“OHH YESS! Time to give the audience what they’ve been waiting for!” The center spotlight shut off. Smoke seeped out from the fog machines that were suddenly there, giving the whole courtroom a truly suspenseful feel to it. “Are you ready, beauties and gentlebeauties? Because now…”

The center spotlight turned on again, and the box-shaped Mettaton was replaced by a truly remarkable specimen! Incredible! I could barely contain myself! It would be impossible to truly describe the grandeur that was Mettaton’s beauty, but I must at least try!

Long legs were placed on the floor, topped with a metal human torso. Mettaton’s face was now a wonderful visage, with hair even! Smooth and supple metal skin! Beautiful bishoujo eyes that I have always wanted but could never have! Mettaton EX always brought in the crowds with his limitless talent and far-off sexiness! Incredible! Amazing!!

“Papyrus, why are you sweating so much?” Undyne asked me.

“METTATON IS SO COOL, UNDYNE.”

“Please.”

With a lustrous sigh, Mettaton stood within the center of the courtroom, gesturing to the crowd with pure benevolence. “Well, I am now here, ready to take on these filthy, debased, absolutely horrible accusations you have flung upon me!”

He placed the back of his gloved hand against his forehead. The crowd simply went wild – and so was our client, who was trying to paw at him from a distance of twenty feet away. “But rest assured, my fellow attorneys, I’ll be sure to make the last dying breaths of your pathetic careers…”

Hands out, face upturned to the spotlight, glitter all over his curvaceous body, he truly became a fabulous star just then! “Absolutely beautiful!”

“Papyrus, don’t you dare clap.”

I felt hurt at Undyne’s tone. “BUT SUCH SHOWMANSHIP MUST BE APPRECIATED, UNDYNE.”

“That’s not important right now!”

A snore erupted from the judge’s podium. Sans looked around blearily, eye sockets focused on the new and improved Mettaton. “oh,  what’d i miss?”

“No more stalling!” Undyne held out a spear, its turquoise glow radiating from it, shining on Mettaton’s face. “I already asked you before. Take off the gloves! Show us that you’re really innocent!”

Ah, that’s right! The star I had looked up to might just be a cold-blooded killer! Or a no-blooded killer, to be more accurate. “PLEASE TELL US THE TRUTH, METTATON. DID YOU COMMIT THIS CRIME?”

Mettaton turned his head, revealing his Greek god-like features to the masses. The crowd cheered ecstatically! Cameras were flashing everywhere! And me without my makeup!

“Again, such ridiculous slander! These lies will do horrors to my complexion! And yours!” His arms extended, one finger from each hand poking at both mine and Undyne’s faces. I was going crazy! Mettaton touched me!! Undyne didn’t look too happy about it, and tried to bite off Mettaton’s fingers. Please, Undyne! Not in front of my possibly murderous hero!

“Even if I wore the nails, why should that matter? I loved Burgerpants with all my soul, giving him a job when no one else would at our fabulous MTT Emporium, with low, low prices for the best fast food around! Right now with a sale of buy one Glamburger, get another one free! Don’t dawdle and get your share, my beauties!”

“hey, uh, is advertising allowed in here?” Sans asked his baliff.

Aaron peered through a book titled ‘COURTROOM TIPZ MADE EASY.’ “Checks out, judge. ;)”

“ok.” Sans leaned back, glad to have that settled apparently.

“And still, why would I ever hurt my darling Burgerpants? Such a model…” Mettaton paused, tapping a finger against those exquisite cheeks. “Well, he was an employee. And he was my employee. I could never dust away such a fabulous monster.”

“Why would you hurt him? Probably for the same reason he’s called Burgerpants to begin with!” Undyne was on a roll! She practically glowed with justice! “You killed what’s-his-face because of company merchandise he kept stealing from you! Your MTT burgers!”

At that, Mettaton did not have a ready answer. He placed a finger against his metal-fashioned lips, humming his robotic tune. “Well, I cannot deny that. Burgerpants was always quite a grabby cat.” He shrugged, bringing a wave of even more entrancing sparkles. “Still, that does not dissuade my fondness for him, may his soul rest in peace.”

“You know what? Fine then.” Undyne shrugged in turn. What could this mean? “Maybe you truly cared about Burgerpants… but did Burgerpants care about you?”

Mettaton’s face twitched. It was really hard to miss. “And how would you know a thing like that?”

“Well, according to my client here, everybody knows!” Undyne laughed, slapping her knee as she did so. “Anybody who went to MTT Emporium knows how much Burgerpants hated your metal guts!”

“OH YEAH!” I joined her. “APPARENTLY, AFTER YOU BUY A GLAMBURGER, HE’S QUITE SUSCEPTIBLE TO QUESTIONS.”

“Yeah, he was a real pushover. And nobody pushed him over more than Mettaton!”

The fabulous Mettaton crossed his arms, face upturned. “Surely this goes against court conduct, to insult such a distinguished prosecutor! Strike their comments from the court record this instant!”

“No!” Undyne asserted herself even more. “This is important. It was common knowledge that Burgerpants detested Mettaton, wanting to be a star on his own, but his boss kept getting in the way.” She turned to the court gallery, at all the monsters seated there. “Right? Have any of you heard him groan about something every day?!”

“Yeah, he kept telling me his burger story…” one flame girl said softly, seated near the front rows.

“He told me he didn’t get why people liked Mettaton so much…” spoken by a cute little mouse monster, leaning over the upper balconies.

“Like, bro was totally majorly bummed out by Mettaton…” spoke a bunny monster, heavily decked out in a pinstripe suit and hat as he stood by the courtroom doors in a suspicious manner.

“ye, and he totally skimped out on the salt for my fries.”

“Your Honor?!” Mettaton turned to Sans, shock on his beautiful face. “…He served you your food wrong?”

Sans shrugged, looking half-asleep as he always did. “uh huh. no big deal though. they still tasted-”

“The nerve of that Burgerpants!” Mettaton clenched his hands, electricity sparking all over his body. “I’m glad then! I’m ecstatic! I should have gotten rid of him earlier!”

Silence choked the entire courtroom, shock written plainly on every face.

Wowie. I didn’t think we’d get him so quickly. Also he’s guilty! This made me quite depressed.

“So you admit it then?” Undyne placed both hands on the table, slapping them down. “You killed Burgerpants! And you tried to pin the crime on Catty!”

Mettaton faced her, his eyes shining dangerously. “Maybe I did! Or maybe I didn’t! Who cares? When people slander you, must that go unpunished? Must the world be so unfair and cruel!? Sometimes things must be done! So what if a few people have to die!?” He spread out his arms, the electricity sparking even more than before. “That’s show business, baby!”

The light was blinding. Even for me! And I don’t even have eyes! Everyone had to turn away, waiting for the light to finally dim. When we all turned back to center floor, Mettaton was still there – but even more fabulous than before.

I’m sorry, notepad, I had to take a minute to regain my bearings. But! Mettaton! Let me try to describe the vivid image before me!

Wings of pure light and energy stuck out of his back. His right arm ended in a cannon, his body glowed with magical energy. He was tall, godly, and sensational! His left eye shimmered with a hidden power that threatened to overwhelm everyone’s existence! Here was the famed Mettaton NEO! I had only heard it spoken of in legend!

Pointed boots stomped the floor, cracking it under the pressure. “Yes! It was me! I killed the doomed Burgerpants! I orchestrated this whole courtroom debacle to further promote my brand! I am the star of this show! And the villain!”

“SO IT’S TRUE!” I could not believe it. That my own hero was capable of such a bad guy act! “YOU KILLED BURGERPANTS AND TRIED TO PIN YOUR CRIME ON AN INNOCENT.”

Mettaton laughed – a truly villainous laugh that spoke of all evil. “That’s right, darling. And you’ve seen through my nefarious plan! I couldn’t suffer through Burgerpants’ bad-mouthing anymore! So with my new manicure, I set out to exterminate him myself!”

The crowd went wild again! They were cheering and chanting Mettaton’s name, which I don’t really think is what you’re supposed to do for a murderer. But, perhaps this is just a new trend these days.

“My fabulous nails speak for themselves!” He held out the hand that wasn’t a gun, continually laughing. “You may convict me now, but you’ll never destroy the legend, the wonder, that is me! Trademarked by the MTT Brand-”

“WAIT A MOMENT.” I held up my hand. Something… something didn’t seem quite right about this. “ABOUT YOUR HAND. MAY YOU SHOW IT US?”

“You’re looking at it, darling!”

“NO. WITHOUT THE GLOVE.” I nodded. “THEN WE CAN FINALLY GET THIS SETTLED.”

“Oh.” Mettaton looked at his left hand, then back at me. Then back at his hand. “Um, right. Of course!”

We all waited, but he didn’t move a muscle. Undyne tapped her foot impatiently.

“No need to rush beauty, dear!” Still Mettaton looked at his hand, seeming to be annoyed. I thought I heard him say something close to cursing, but surely my skeletal ears deceive me!

“Hurry up!”

“Well, I can’t!” Mettaton NEO yelled back, losing his composure for once. “My gloves are part of my body! I can’t take it off!”

Undyne blinked her lone eye, then narrowed. “What.”

“If you haven’t noticed, darling, I’m a robot. And robots don’t exactly have nails either! And none of my forms give me nails, though I would certainly love some!” He sighed theatrically. “I could then experience the wonders of my salons for myself.”

“Wait, if this isn’t your nail….” Undyne gestured at him. “Then whose is it?”

“No, it’s still mine, darling. Just a sample from my special nail line, specially fitted for the human side of the market.” Mettaton flipped his hair as he spoke, or tried to since it was also metal. “But I had to rev up the promotion for this product, and what better way to than to showcase it for a murder trial? The first monster murder trial of its kind?!”

“…Plenty of other ways really,” Undyne deadpanned.

“Well, I’m not hearing any ideas.”

“Okay, well there’s magazine advertising-”

A spark fizzed at Mettaton NEO’s shoulder, making him sputter. “T-that is one of the most unexciting-”

“A television infomercial – just put in an hour slot and you’re ready to sell anything by then.”

Another spark. His wings faltered, and dimmed.

“Heck, you could even take out a flyer and just mail it to people! People would see it plenty-”

“That’s. Incredibly.” Mettaton NEO raised his head to the spotlight. “CHEAP!”

The light glowed bright again. I tried not to turn away this time, but it was too much! I even started to cry at the tragedy of it all! So much beauty now snuffed out like a flame!

In NEO’s place, box-shaped Mettaton stood, a little worse for wear, but still upright. He had a microphone in his hand again, and faced Undyne down. “Well, that was quite a show. I’d give an encore, but I’ve pushed myself to the limit this time!”

“Wait, hold on! What about the crime scene?” Undyne yelled. “And your confession! And the evidence!”

Mettaton waved away her questions with little care. “Oh, I just planted that nail there! I had hoped your investigation would have picked it up, but of course being such amateur lawyers that you are, I had to order a re-scan of the crime scene myself.” He sighed. “To pick up where my co-stars slacked off in, this is not how it should be done!”

“You planted fake evidence?!” Undyne looked livid.

“Yes, and I do dearly apologize.” Mettaton nodded, sighing so loud and dramatic that his voicebox whirred with the emotion. “But this court trial needed a little spice. No real harm done.”

“Isn’t that illegal!?”

Looking from Undyne to Sans, I asked, “IS IT?”

“uh, yeah, kinda.” Sans then addressed Mettaton. “you uh, probably don’t wanna do that again.”

“Truly, I understand that. Truly I do! But what kind of dramatic trial would this be without such a shocker twist? Already the ratings are going off the charts!” Mettaton pointed to his right, where a giant television screen was propped on the wall. When did that get there??? But indeed, the ratings were skyrocketing right off the charts, the bright red lines leaving the television to crash through the roof of the courtroom.

Sans blinked lazily at the property damage happening before him. “huh, can’t argue with that. that plot point really brought the house down.” Tiles kept falling all around him, missing his skull by mere inches. My brother was quite lucky he didn’t get hurt!

“Not only does this bring more attention to the glamorous MTT brand, but to your own court system, Your Honor!” Mettaton held up a book to my brother’s face, just… shoving it up to his eyesockets. “As you can see, the monster judicial system, along with this courthouse, is already proving to be a hit among today’s youth. Why, with a little more sprucing up the -ahem- decorum around here, and a few well-placed snack bars around the lobbies, this trial can raise up your profits like never before!”

Sans, still with the book in his face, gave a thumbs-up. “cool.”

“Fabulous! With your confirmation, I will now set up the promotional material to the courthouse. First, we definitely should change the dreadful logo to something with much more sparkle to it-”

“Hey!” Undyne flipped over the already half-cracked table, upsetting both paper and bones all over the place. (I had set them up on that table so neatly too!) “Aren’t you forgetting something, lead-brain? We still have a trial going on!”

Mettaton wagged a finger at Undyne. “Tsk, of course I didn’t forget, darling. In fact, this changes nothing as Catty is still as guilty as day! After much work, I ask our judge to deliver a verdict as soon as possible! Surely we all want to go home and go back to our fabulous lives!”

Sans had his face laying on one hand. Each moment, his skull threatened to slip off his bony palm and hit the table. “well, if there’s nothing else, might as well get this over with.”

“Wait a second!” Undyne pounded her boot against the ground, sending rolling tremors through the courtroom. “We can’t- we can’t let it end here!”

“so you got some objections?”

“Yeah!”

“okay, let’s hear it.”

Now, I believed that my best friend could help prolong this situation more than anyone! But I could also see that my brother was asking for something here… something that I don’t think Undyne would be able to see.  He wanted a specific answer! After looking at our client and my fuming partner, I decided I had to step in! I really hope Undyne won’t be too mad about it!

“YOUR MAJESTY!” I boomed out the best lawyerly voice one ever heard! I even made Undyne start at the sound! I must really sound impressive! “ALL PRESENTED EVIDENCE BEFORE US IS CIRCUMSTANTIAL, AND THE PROSECUTION’S STUNTS FOR FAME AND GLORY HAS DE-RAILED THIS TRIAL MORE THAN NECESSARY. THE DEFENSE REQUESTS AN ADDITIONAL DAY FOR FURTHER QUESTIONING AND INVESTIGATION.”

Sans stared at me for a moment, then shrugged. “hey, sounds reasonable. what do ya think, metts?”

Mettaton didn’t get angry at the announcement, surprisingly. He only tsked tsked some more, wheeling away from the room. “Anyone and everyone can see how the defense is trying to stall for more time. But! This will give me the space I need to give this courtroom the makeover it deserves! So yes, the prosecution has no objections to this request.”

“alright, cool.” Sans faced the whole of the courtroom again, which was paying attention more to the leaving Mettaton than anything else. “we’ll come back tomorrow to ride this baby out. same time, same place, heh.” He banged his gavel, or…(I have to legitimately sigh here, excuse me) farted his gavel, so to speak. “court on hold and whatever.”

I let out a deep breath I did not know I was holding. Or that I could even do so in the first place! I felt Undyne clap against my back, dangerously close to breaking my spine but that was okay! “Quick thinking there, Paps!”

“OF COURSE. THE GREAT LAWYER PAPYRUS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO PROLONG THE CASE MORE THAN IT NEEDS TO BE. NYEH-HEH-HEH!” But, it was hard to stay focused on the moment. I watched as Mettaton went through his crowd of adoring fans in the gallery, blowing robotic kisses and signing autographs even! I realized suddenly! This was my one chance!

“Papyrus, are you really going to ask him for his autograph after the hell he put us through?”

“BUT UNDYNE. THIS IS A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY. I MAY NEVER GET THIS CHANCE AGAIN.”

“We literally just saw him last week. We know where he works. We could actually get it anytime-”

“NYEEEEEHHHH!”

“Okay, fine! Geez! Just go!”

The courtroom emptied as if it was one long breath. Monsters shoved their way to the front doors, dropping their valuables in a frantic attempt to grasp Mettaton’s shiny and sparkling hands. Sans looked at it all through drowsy eyes, snoring softly, despite the fact that he wasn’t actually asleep.

Heh, that bro of his could read him like a book sometimes. Good thing, too.

And hey, speaking of books…

His baliff was already gone as well, leaving Sans truly alone with the caved in roof and the glitter that speckled the walls. But he paid no attention to that, instead his gaze drawn to a certain item on the cracked marble floors.

It was a notepad. His bro’s notepad, actually.

Suddenly the notepad was placed before his judge’s podium. Its cover was decorated with many buff pictures of Papyrus in his detective hat – and his lawyer suit. Some good drawings there, Sans could learn or thing or two from him.

His bro would really miss this thing. Or would he? He had plenty of other notepads with him, all of them shoved up in his coat sleeves, along with aces and extra bones. Just one shouldn’t make such a big difference.

“oh well,” Sans said, leaning against his chair as he held up the notepad, feet propped on the desk before him. “finders keepers.”

[lesliebos]

Hello loves,

Say hello to that Ibiza feeling! Met de zon op onze snoet en de zonnebril in de aanslag vertrokken we zaterdag richting Ibiza… Nu ja, de Ibiza Xperience fair in Eindhoven bedoel ik dan. Deze beurs staat helemaal in het teken van de gezellige sfeer op Ibiza. En wie houd daar nu niet van? Wij begonnen alvast weg te dromen van het zonnetje, het strand, een cocktail in de hand en een goede beat erbij!

En gezellig was het! Er waren verschillende leuke standjes met hippie kleertjes, juweeltjes, interieurspulletjes en natuurlijk ook lekkere tapas en cocktails. Heel groot was de beurs niet maar de gezelligheid en de deejays maakte alles goed. In het midden van de zaal was het gezellig vertoeven met een glaasje.

Via groupon konden we een kaartje bemachtigen aan 5,5 euro. De normale prijs is 15 euro aan de deur en 10 in voorverkoop.

Voor meer informatie kan je terecht op de website: http://ibizaxperience.eu

Blijf naar beneden scrollen voor een paar leuke sfeerbeelden! Vamonos amigos!

Say hello to that Ibiza feeling! With the sun shining and our sunglasses in our hands we left to Ibiza… Well, the Ibiza Xperience fair in Eindhoven so to speak. The fair is all about that cosy Ibiza feeling. Who doesn’t love that? We started already dreaming of the sun, the beach, a cocktail on the side and a great beat!

And it was fun! There were several little shops with cute hippie clothes, jewels, interiordesign and ofcourse yummy tapas and cocktails. The fair wasn’t very big but the cosiness and the deejays made everything great. In the middle of the venue it was pleasently staying with a little cocktail in our hand!

We bought our ticket via groupon for 5,5 euro. Normal price at the counter is 15 euro and in presale it is 10 euro.

For more information check out their website http://ibizaxperience.eu/.

Keep scrolling down for a few lovely images! Vamonos amigos!

A little peek of my outfit!

Tching tching! Mojitos por favor!

Ik hoop dat jullie genoten hebben van het eerste echte lenteweekend! I hope you all had a lovely weekend and enjoyed that springfeeling!

Lots of love and hugs ♥

.Ibiza Xperience Hello loves, Say hello to that Ibiza feeling! Met de zon op onze snoet en de zonnebril in de aanslag vertrokken we zaterdag richting Ibiza...