#so everything is a personal failure on my part even when it isn't )

[spread-the-influence]

// hopping in again because 2 am is in the timeframe where i become so hyper on accidentally finding vibes like a nocturnal predator

. https://youtu.be/8Gopg80VXwc?si=j_vS5a5xUWvgiBRC

somehow sounds like t.i

// ASHES ASHES DUST TO DUST THE DEVIL'S AFTER THE BOTH OF US //

[queerfables]

The thing is, Crowley and Aziraphale's problem isn't miscommunication. I'm not the first person to point this out but I see enough posts taking this framing at face value that I feel it's worth saying again.

If Crowley and Aziraphale sat down and talked everything out calmly and rationally without hiding anything and while validating each other's feelings, they would still end up exactly where they are. Because they fundamentally DO NOT AGREE about the problem they're facing or how to address it.

Crowley should have told Aziraphale about apocalypse take two, sure, yeah, but if he had, Aziraphale would have seen it as just another reason to go back to Heaven. He finds out about the second coming and he's horrified but just as resolved in his decision.

Flip side: Aziraphale might have had a hundred good reasons for wanting Crowley to come back with him, none of which boiled down to thinking he was worth less as a demon, but it wouldn't have mattered how eloquently he articulated them. It was always going to be a deal breaker for Crowley.

To be slightly more nuanced about it, there are some things they've been avoiding saying that they really did need to put into words, even though in my opinion they both kind of knew it, already. But the painful fact is that their fight is that in action. Sometimes communicating with someone means exposing the failure points between you (and if you suspect that's going to be the case, that's a very human reason to avoid doing it).

At best, they could maybe have parted with less collateral damage to each other. But the real tragedy of their story is that there was no other way this could have gone. For a long time, their love has been thwarted by the external forces keeping them apart, but also - Aziraphale hasn't Fallen, and Crowley has never expressed any desire to return to Heaven. And just like I think they must have had at least some understanding of the depth of their feelings for each other, I think they must have understood the implications of that too. They're on opposite sides, and even with the danger, it's all very exciting and romantic - until they have to face the fact that the convictions they've held for millennia put them on opposite sides.

So if they're going to move forward together, they can't just talk about it. Crowley's right, actually, they've been talking since before the beginning of time. It isn't enough to understand each other. Together, they're going to have to change. That tentative middle ground between them is going to have to become a place they set down roots, and learn to choose and trust in even when everything else is falling apart.

[justanotherhh]

some trailer things:

big fight around lust/ozzie's place that involves m&m and loona + we know fizzarolli is going to make another appearance, so i wonder how that'll connect potentially. also, new villain?

obvs the whole section of CHERUB working with DHORKS and this massive thing/portal:

john waters big villain episode???? (ghostfuckers from the looks of things)

also more crossdressing in that same episode + millie vs possessed blitz? both millie and blitz giving some evil dead type vibes?

more on stolas' whole social sphere and potential judgement and hell's class politics related to his dating blitz + p much confirmed that blitz will not take stolas' gift in the spirit it was intended

also, "you fucks think you can do this every time-" feels not just like it's about the wider class issues in hell, but maybe like it's personal (potentially with verosika? although it does seem like it's canon that he had more than a little bit of a hand in ending that relationship, so could just be him echoing everything he's been seeing in the treatment of imps and putting that onto stolas in this moment)

and then "thank you blitz, for making me so happy, even for a little while" is during this moment too. lot of teasers for how this is gonna go down (badly, upsettingly, emotionally)

the whole "do you feel any remorse for what you do" feels like a misdirect -- that is, it's edited to look like it's about blitz, but i feel like it's directed at stella or her brother

generally a lot of fun stolas visuals that i won't get into here, but am excited to see more contexts for

also this isn't new, but im always interested in blitz's heart/broken-heart forehead marking

blitz and tilla moment! generally more flashbacks (in the shape of blitz seeming to be almost at the movies, watching his own "failures") around the time of the fire! i didn't see any barbie stuff, alas, but the rest of it looks !!! also lowkey confirmed it was cash who stopped blitz from seeing fizz in hospital

who's this?

another sin? maybe related to ozzie and/or stolas and that judgement of the kinds of people they love?

blitz protecting stolas - maybe from the above, considering the hand motif of it all... stolas really living the life of blitz as a romantic hero, while blitz is barely holding it together as a person the whole time. different genres, my guys. different genres (that's their real communication issue)

this fuck-you-blitz cake looks like a verosika thing to do, esp considering it's her calling him shitty in the VO -- but yay, maybe giving that verosika catharsis, but also generally just verosika!

also the VO part where he says he doesn't want to be this way, he's wearing the same shroud as during his confrontation with verosika. idk, im just. contexts for things. i am curious

is the below also the same episode? I'd think so. it's set during halloween (?) and blitz is then maybe in the blood-covered shroud (costume? undercover? going undercover as a ghost? post-breakup stalking undercover ghost costume?)

MAMMON! and he looks pleased. oh dear.

this blitz + fizz moment

it kinda looks like blitz is wearing the same tee as when he and stolas have their moment + a horse bag + fizz casual wear. fizz generally in this trailer seems to be having the best time (outside the flashbacks). everything makes me suspicious all the time

(also generally hello all the different outfits coming up!!)

fascinated by this:

is that millie?

things we didn't see:

no barbie, no striker, no crimson, no asmodeus (directly, although his imagery is everywhere + fizz and mammon appear), no paimon -- this not to say none of them will show up, but am enjoying that a lot of this is clearly pulling from s1, with the focus on verosika, DHORKS, and CHERUB -- potentially a lot of the s2 villains need some time to lick their wounds a bit (and paimon was never a Villain, just a terrible parent... if he ever returns though...)

and barbie... i do want to see barbie again soonish ngl, she needs some proper introducing, but this is already giving so much callback and continuation of immediate plot-threads, very excited

[fonteyn]

something wrong with me and you

Pairing: Marquis Vincent de Gramont x afab!reader. No use of Y/N

Word Count:  1.6K

Warnings: smut. slightly dub/con, including spanking, teasing, making the other beg, etc. Minors do not interact. +18 rating.

Author's note: who knew me going to the movie theater to watch john wick 4 was going to bring my fic writing era back from the dead lmao, maybe I'll finish other fics I abandoned along the way

I do not consent to any of my work being reposted on other websites.

At first, it was a night like any other.

Until he showed up, deciding that on this evening you were worthy of his time.

His lips reached closer to the shell of your ear while you struggled to hold in a sigh. He’d been at it for hours, tentatively running his nose on your neck, poking for a show of weakness on your part.

And you knew you were at the precipice of failure. The relentlessness of his continuous challenges made an inevitable dent in your resolve to deprive him of his wishes.

"I can give you everything, mon amour”, his full body pressed you down onto the mattress, fingers gripping your inner thighs, “everything you could ever want and more."

At this point, this had become a bit of a habit of his. Speaking these infamous words every single time you were with him. To the point of annoyance.

Be it in the low lights during a theater performance, in the middle of a crowded restaurant, or - as you were now - in his bed, draped in nothing but luxurious jewelry and the expensive silk of his sheets. It seemed he had become fixated on tantalizing you with unreachable realities.

"Isn't that what you want, darling?", he teased with a playful smile, just before nibbling your shoulder, teeth sinking into your skin followed by the soothing of his tongue.  

His pleasure in the act of mocking you was palpable, even more so when you were at a point of nearly squirming underneath him, "It is no shame to admit it", he continued, "don't you want to be all mine?".

You could no longer hold it in anymore, fighting power running out.

A shaky nearly broken moan left your lips along with a tremble through your body, and you threw your head back as his left hand found your waist. The right one lowering down smoothly - from your waist to your thigh, teasing the idea of doing something about the mess he created - before moving on, with a caress, all the way to your calf.

His hand settled, wrapped around your ankle, as he moved away from you, getting up from the four-post bed.

You were about to voice disappointment when you felt a tug on your ankles.

A surprise noise was once again dragged out of you as Vincent yanked you closer to the end of the bed, where he stood.

His once perfectly pressed shirt hung open. The slicked hair was now messy as a result of the good work from your fingers, both in the back of the limousine and on the elevator that took you both to the upper levels of his home.

Still pliant from all the effort he had put into making you putty in his hands, you lifted yourself up on your forearms, noting the harness of his length, which he had been rubbing against you ever since before you left the private dining room.

You were often fascinated by how the regality of his every move seemed impossible to rattle, even on the most heated nights.

A person could easily mistake the coldness of his stare to believe it meant indifference, after all, the Marquis de Gramont was a hard man to impress.

But you knew better.

You’d seen him beyond his title, his wealth, his ruthlessness.

And he had seen you.

His eyes almost twinkled from pent-up desire and as if he couldn’t help himself, he forcefully grabbed your chin, bringing your lips ever closer

Merely an inch separated you from the kiss that would soon follow.

Though before you could seal the deal, you became entranced by the sight of him licking his lips and the raspy whisper that followed.

"Say it to me. Say that you want to be my little marchioness. I can't give you what you want unless you say it."

You couldn't help but reach forward, your teeth sinking on his lower lip, making him hiss. Both of his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you in place.

A smirk on your lips was inevitable, "Who's doing the begging now?"

That would just about do the trick on him, his body stiffening immediately and you braced for what would soon follow.

“Well, the night is not over is it?”

He admired your defiance in the face of his authority. How most times, even if you stood before him deprived of a single stitch of clothing, you were still able to look him in the eyes, as if you held all the cards. As if he couldn’t - or wouldn’t - ever harm you in any significant way.

Refusing to back down, teasing him to react first.

Admit it first.

To say just how much he wanted you.

How much he craved for you. How he woke up and thought of you. How much he wished he was inside you all day, every day.

And sometimes, even more dangerously, how he saw a particular painting and thought of you. Wondered if you would like it. Played out in his head how he was going to tell you all about it and then show it to you. The same had been happening a lot with clothes. Gowns he saw and only pictured how you’d look wearing them, and the way he would go about getting them off later.

The look you gave him during dinner while sipping on the most expensive wine from his private collection…It was enough to make him want to stop the world. Bend you over the table and fuck you until you pleaded with him to let you finish.

Tonight, however, he was tired of your games. Vincent was no longer interested in making you squirm, he wanted to make you scream.

If you refused to admit your obvious desire when he was being so nice, he was going to make you beg out loud.

He flipped you around, sturdy hands on either side of you forcing you to go on all fours for him. Aware that you hated not seeing his face while he took you.

For a moment, he basked in that power.

Of how despite all your fight, your snark, your feigned indifference when he spent weeks without seeing you and suddenly turned up at your door, you were still pliable to his will.

One of his large hands maneuvered to make sure you couldn’t switch positions, holding your neck in place. The cold metal of his ring tingling against your skin. Demanding that you stare forward, towards the headboard, stealing from you even the mere possibility of catching a glimpse at what he was about to do.

A slap came down hard on your ass, earning him a choked gasp. His hand soothed the now pained spot for a second before another slap soon followed. And then continued his motions, one after another until you lost track of how many spanks you had gotten. Being only mildly aware of the prickling of your skin, and more consumed by the wetness dripping from your core.

A whine ripped through you as he finally placed his thumb on your pussy, caressing you thoroughly.

“Fuck…”, you muttered a satisfied near-sob.

“Mmmm…not yet, mon amour”, Vincent teased, “unless you’re ready to beg for it.”

He splayed his hand on your lower back, moving you closer to his cock, and you held your breath as you felt him gripping his length behind you.

“Are you ready, darling? Are you ready to beg for me?”

“Yes!”, you mewled, nearly adding a “please” after.

You knew he was shaking his head at you, “It is truly a pity you have not spoken the correct words.”

You hissed as he grazed the head of his cock on your entrance, teasing but not making any moves towards pushing inside.

Vincent smiled, if you wanted him you’d have to say it, and he knew you were close to breaking.

“F-uck, fuck, okay”, you relented, backing yourself up further against him, “please…please…fuck me, I can’t…I-I want you, I need you so fucking bad.”

He wanted to resist you, as you had resisted him. He wished he could.

Vincent liked to think of himself as a man with enough resolve to spare, but that was always a challenge when it came to you.

When he said he would give you whatever you wanted, you thought it was a tease, a joke, a lie. You were wrong.

Not another sigh from you was needed to make him plunge his cock inside you and set a fiery pace, embracing your warmth as he moved one hand toward your nipples, pinching them so hard you started screaming.

Time lost all meaning, and sounds felt far away as he pounded inside you, setting a relentless pace.

Neither of you spoke, but both panted in pleasure.

One of your hands reached out towards his own, the one that is holding your neck, intertwining your fingers in a way that allows you to finally move your head back towards him.

Searching for his lips.

Unable to deny you any longer - and consumed by his own desire - he complied. Draping himself closer and closer, as if he wanted to consume you fully. Covering your body with his own, devouring your mouth with vigor, until neither of you can hold on.

You’ve deprived each other for too long.

He waits for you to finish, a wave of ecstasy ripping through you, as he fucks you even harder, chasing his own release with a shout.

He soon lays down on top of you, and in your lightheadedness, your fingers intertwine with each other.

Holding on for as long as you can.

Unaware of the great lengths the Marquis will go to make you, his.

[gwynndolin]

i can’t actually remember if all of the bow and arrow based minigames in oot and mm were all this difficult or if the fact that the joystick on this modern recreation n64 controller is like, ill suited for that. even the smallest stick movements feel like they translate to a huge first person movement. I’m not certain exactly how the control stick works in this modern one, but i assume its all potentiometers like most controllers are. Interestingly enough, it almost looks like it has a similar kind of mechanism to how the 3DS joystick looks, where its kind of on a linear slide.

Anyway, the old original N64 controllers used two encoder wheels and a laser (or probably just a small light) and a light sensing diode which would be intermittently shrouded by little interruptions on the decoder wheel which would give varying levels of current and a bunch of calculations happen which tell the controller where the joystick is, which is actually kinda great when compared to the current controller standard of graphite pads which are the typical point of failure and cause of stick drift, either from wear or dust (and dust from wear) causing the contacts to shit out.

At the bottom of the assembly there you can see the decoder wheels controlling the X and Y inputs, attached to a cradle assembly that the joystick is pushed through and locked into. Most everything that isn't contained in that bowl that the joystick sits in is shrouded, so there's not really a chance to even get small particulates into the decoder wheel. In fact the only reason n64 joysticks tend to fail is from them getting super loose around the little ball around the bottom

This part makes action with two little plastic nubs with the gate that also acts as the shroud which assists with centering the joystick and returning it to a neutral position with assistance from a spring assembly underneath the shroud.

The problem I had with my old controller is that it had been used so much that the little slits in the ball had all ballooned out from the use and friction over the years which meant it wasn't a tight fit anymore and made it so the stick would just kinda flop around instead of returning to neutral. The other problem they had (which mine also did) was that the bowl that was at the very bottom of the assembly was not lubricated, or at the very least, wasn't lubricated enough and evaporated over the years, leading to the bottom part of the joystick to scrape the bottom of the bowl and essentially sand it down.

This is almost all plastic from the inside of the bowl being scraped by the joystick (tho im sure its a little skin and whatever else too) and this would also cause a lot of problems, like the joystick sitting lower in the bowl than it was supposed to. That in combination with the centering pegs(?) not making tight action with the stick makes it wiggle around and essentially useless.

Aside from how like, stupid the solid plastic joystick was (my thumb has been getting sore after like a single solid hour or two of play), and the wear points being super obvious, i think the decoder wheel assembly is pretty cool and reminds me of how now we're getting people making control sticks with hall effect sensors which do not have a point of contact to measure input (as opposed to the gearing on the decoder wheels and joystick assembly themself, which theoretically is a wear point but is very uncommon)

[redskull199987]

👤yo bro bestie my main man,how bout a William Afton/gn reader where Reader is at Aftons office to get a job and Willy Billy is just messing with them and they're really shy and just get embarrassed super easily.Afton offers them coffee and they take it even tho they don't like coffee.Reader isn't at his office for the first time.Like in THE MOVIE where Mike is at his office.Could you do som with that scene and a silly reader because I need it.(Mathew Lillard Afton if you didn't get what I was getting at because I'm rambling)

Career Counseling

William Afton x gn!reader Request Word count:1.2k Warnings:angstyyyyyyyy, but not overly angsty, my friend William here is just teasing you, he ain’t biting, Movie spoilers obviously Summary: After failing at the last job he assigned to you, you find yourself back at the office of your career counselor…Steve Raglan

Masterlist

You were back at his office. The last place where you wanted to be. Or did you? You weren’t entirely sure of what you wanted. After all, you weren’t even able to hold onto a job for more than a few months. 

So, here you were again. Back on the creaky old chair in front of his even older wooden desk with the small name tag on it, that seemed to constantly remind you of your failure. Why else would someone spend so much time at a career counselors office? Surely, there wouldn't be another reason.

Your eyes were following his every movement, as he looked through your papers again, his back turned to you. He adjusted his glasses every now and then, until he finally turned on his chair, facing you again. You quickly straightened your back, your hands slightly squeezing the armrests of the chair. Mr Raglan gave you a small smile, before taking a look at your papers again.

You felt your heartbeat pick up, as his eyes wandered over the last page: the report of your last job. A job he had picked out personally and just for you. And you had messed it up. It was the easiest task really. All you had to do was stand guard at an office. But you managed to fall asleep during work, giving some stupid punks the chance to break in and steal anything and everything of value.

“You havin’ trouble sleeping?”

His question caught you off guard. You looked back up at his face, but he was still eying the Papers.

“Well, I-I kinda always had them, so…”, you stammered, fumbling with your hands and looking back to the ground.

“Honestly, I feel like you aren’t even trying.”, he only smiled and dropped the papers to his desk. He neatly folded his hands and looked at you expectantly. 

When you didn’t say anything, he continued to elaborate:”You are back at my office for the..what is it now, third time? I give you the easiest jobs and yet, here we are again.”

It took you a few seconds to fully process what he had said and when you finally did, you knew that he was right. He really did give you the easiest jobs known to man. Jobs with literally only one task...and you failed at them.

“Coffee?”

His question successfully caught you off guard again and you gazed up at him with a confused expression on your face:”Sorry?”

“Uh, would you, would you like some…some coffee. I made some coffee.”, he asked again, getting up in the process and walking over to the small table behind you.

You only looked after him for a second, before finally answering:”Uhm eh no, I mean sure. Sure, I would like some.”

With a smile, Mr Raglan handed you a steaming mug of coffee and quietly sat back down behind his desk.

You had no idea why you said yes. You hated coffee. It was part of your sleeping problem and yet, here you were, sitting in front of your career counselor with a steaming mug of black coffee in your hands. You just tried to ignore it and took an experimental sip. And immediately you remembered why you hated coffee. The taste and smell triggered something inside you, that made you want to spit the coffee back into the mug. But as Raglan looked at you again, you gave him a reassuring smile and quickly swallowed the coffee, before putting the mug down in front of you, on his desk.

“So, I have to be brutally honest with you here, Y/N.”, Mr Raglan continued after a few seconds of silence,”Given your track record, your options are now severely more limited than they were the last two times that you were here.”

“I know, I know.”, you nodded,”Like I said before, I’ll take anything, anything that you got for me.”

“You know, it’s not that easy.”, Raglan smiled and took a sip of his coffee, all the while still looking at you. All you could do was nod, feeling incredibly small under his watchful gaze.

“I…I know I messed up big time, b-but I promise you, this time, it’s gonna work out. It has to. I got nowhere else to go.”, you explained with a shaky voice, not even daring to look at him.

With a smile, he only looked at you for another minute. Right, as you were about to get up to leave, he ushered you back in.

“I got a job for you.”, he explained,”Come on. Sit sit sit sit sit.”

You looked at him slightly confused. Mere minutes ago, he had told you that you were out of options and now he was making you a job offer?

“Okay ehm, what is it?”, you asked, after you sat back down. Raglan leaned forward on his desk and you quickly did the same in order to listen to him attentively.

“It´s a security gig.”, he proposed,”Similar to the last one you had. Full disclosure: it’s not great. Right? High turnover, that’s what we call it in the business, but you get to be your own boss. Sort of. And you only have to worry about one thing. Keeping people out. And-and you know, keep the place tidy.”

“That’s two things”, you assessed with furrowed brows. Was he really going to give you another job as a security guard? When you had failed so miserably at the last one?

Raglan could only shrug at your remark:”You want the job or not?”

You thought about it for a few seconds, while he looked at you expectantly.

“How’s the pay?”, you questioned further.

Raglan answered faster than you thought:”Not great. But…the hours are worst.”

He did say, the job wasn’t great, but this lousy? You decided to ask further:”When exactly?”

“I take it then, that you want the Job?”, Raglan answered with a counter question instead. You nodded, motioning for him to continue.

“Let me give you a little backstory then.”, he smiled,”This place was huge in the ‘80s with the kids. It’s been shut down for years. The only reason they haven’t given it the old wrecking ball treatment, is the owner’s a bit of a…Well, he’s kind of a sentimental guy, I guess. Just can’t bring himself to let it go yet.”, 

He gave you a small chuckle, while looking to the ground like he was lost in his memories,”Yeah…Had some trouble with break-ins over the years. Drunks and vagrants mostly. Not ideal. Security system’s dated but fully functional. Floodlights on the outside. Cameras inside and outside. Fair warning: the electricity is a bit…iffy. Anything happens, there is a breaker in the main office. Just flip it. Uh, I guess, that’s about it. You know, the rest is pretty easy. Just keep your eyes on the monitors and keep people out. Piece of cake.”

After he finished his explanation, the two of you sat in silence for a minute, while you thought the whole thing over. On the surface, the job did seem fairly easy. Just like he said. But you couldn’t help yourself, feeling a bit…suspicious of it. Why had he only told you about it now? He could’ve told you the last two times you were at his office. Why now?

“So, what do you think?”

For a third and final time, his question pulled you out of your thoughts. Raglan looked at you with anticipation. Thinking about it one last time, you finally made your decision.

“When can I start?”

[bizarrelittlemew]

the saddest line in the trailer

at first I was too distracted by Stede's plunging neckline and gold earring to fully realize why this kept nagging at me but:

"I've been a failure my whole life."

and the way he says it:

as a matter of fact, because he fully believes it – it's an integrated part of his self-image

to comfort someone else (presumably), meaning that even though it is sort of similar to Ed's "I'm not a good person" from s1e6, this scene doesn't seem to be about Stede getting comforted – he is just throwing that line in there

with the follow-up line of "It's not so bad once you get used to it," because he is used to being called a failure by everyone around him, even when he was a kid, so much that he doesn't question it

and yeah, Stede fucks up a lot and can be a bit air-headed/naive and overestimates his abilities (Stede's super high confidence vs. shit self-esteem is a central part of his character), often to the detriment of himself and everyone around him, but his biggest "crime" growing up was simply that he was different and didn't live up to the norms of masculinity. and this is what caused him to be made to feel like a failure by the world around him.

(putting the rest under the cut because I have a lot to say apparently lmao ⬇️)

idk it is just so sad that after everything that happened at the end of season 1, he still echoes his father's and the Badmintons' words when talking about himself (and his own "I'm not a pirate, I'm an idiot" from s1e1). he still has a lot of growth to do.

and while it's good that he embraces his own shortcomings (and I hope he stays a loser in many ways <3) and the show reinforces that you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love/that you are worthy of love just as you are, it is just. idk SO SAD to hear him say that about himself so earnestly

but do you know who doesn't let Stede self-deprecate?

THIS GUY, FROM THEIR VERY FIRST DAY TOGETHER

from telling Stede he isn't such a terrible pirate (at least he's alive), to not letting Stede call his own ideas stupid, Ed likes Stede for who he is WHILE not letting him talk bad about himself like that.

now we can't know who Stede is talking to in the scene in the trailer, just that it is someone with long dark hair:

and it could be someone else (to me it doesn't look quite like Ed's hair, but the quality/lighting makes it difficult to tell), but if it IS Ed, it has the potential for him to (once again) go against Stede's negative self-talk 😌

I am so interested to see how this scene plays out and I REALLY hope we get a scene mirroring the bathtub scene (even if it's not this one) but with the roles switched ✌️

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i asked for help from the ppl who i harassed for months?

ok so basically i (18f, at the time 16f) really like this group. but one day they just went on "indefinite hiatus" for no reason. and obviously i was really mad. so after a few months of trying to pick the right person to blame i decided it was entirely thr fault of this one asshole, who literally went and made his OWN GROUP like right after this hiatus was announced. the little turd clearly wanted out due to hating his members. and that's not even the worst part. he actually started gaining traction after this dumb little move. and after the turd made a collab with a pretty popular kpop group (and we all know how kpop stans are with their mass streaming) this loser was getting more attention than thr guy that I LIKE.

my guy was the most talented pretty and popular member of the group when it was active, and he could sell out dome tours with his solo work all the time. he just did that in fact. but now that this other bitch was using kpop stans for clout he was the one getting all the attention. and it rubbed off on his group he made and their trash music as well. but this isn't about him it's about me.

like i said i got really upset, and once i decided this was all turd boy's fault, i shamelessly harassed fans of this "person" and the dumb little group he made, mostly by way of spamming gore in their discord servers and wikis. this lasted for months until one of them eventually doxxed me back. i'll admit i shouldn't have done all of this. but i was just fighting against traitors in the industry.

but, it's been over a year since then. and i've moved on. until a few weeks ago. this third guy "came out" in a clear pr stunt. like with a whole press confrence and everything he didnt even try to hide it. and then he dropped a new song right after. somebody's jealous of the sold out dome tour!

but not everyone realises its a pr stunt. ppl are falling for it and streaming the new somg. and if the hype doesn't die down soon my guy will be in THIRD. i can't let that happen or else i'd be a failure but i have a plan.

hypothetically, i would slide back into the discord server, explain my dilemma, and maybe stans of the first turd would be willing to mass stream my guy's amazing new song and i guess i'll mass stream whatever crap their guy shat out recently. they're smart people, they doxxed my cats after all. i'm sure they'll understand.

but i fear that it would be kind of a dick move to act all buddy buddy with a server who i went crazy on and harassed for months on end. but on the other hand i can't let my idol be at only third most monthly listeners in his old group!! so i don't know what to do, wibta if i went through with this?

What are these acronyms?

[heartfullofleeches]

Rubik Dice

Yandere Entity (Entities?) Blurb

An: In a vent of frustration with a rubix cube - I present this. [Brief mentions of death]

-

Six people to a room.

It's too many.

Between damped sobs and their own; and the feud in their head, they couldn't think let alone say their piece. How did this happen? How could they make such a careless mistake? It was just supposed to be an evening stroll. It had been a week since they'd been out. The longest they'd ever been put away. Being cramped under so long they had to get some fresh air or risk clawing out their throat for a clean breath. It's so cramped in their head, in this room. Six people is far too many to be alone with unless the last person is....

"Nice job, idiot. We're in enough trouble as it is - now what are we going to do?."

It was an accident.

"Don't be so mean! We all have our lapses in judgement sometimes.... Even if they are kidnapping not-so-random strangers off the street."

Didn't you tell me to do it?

"Haha- You really fucked up tonight, didn't you?.. He saw your face. No choice, but to kill him less you never want to be seen in public again? All I'm sayin' is my blades should still be in the bag."

We can't kill any more people. Why are you always like this? Please, can't we just -

"Leave this to a roll of the dice?"

Indecisive on topics ranging from daily meals to torture methods; the trio concluded their shared consciousness to one, unified:

"No."

"Take out that dice and I'm breaking your fingers. Why do we always have to be responsible for your fuck ups?"

"Such a coward. You can crack a brick over someone's skull to shut them up, but you can't stab a knife through their neck to silence them?"

"You know, someone has been reeeeeally quiet since we got back home. We all know what that means."

Ragged breathing stills in the face of its captor. The rambling maniac themselves has quieted to nothing more than a stagnant shell. They both know what's to happen next. There's only one way out of this now. He can beg all he wants, but he'll tell. Even if they believe him the others won't. Neighbors. The police. You. Everything always came back to you. Mistakes, failures, hopes. You'd hate them - all of them - if you knew what took place in this basement. You'd never want to see any of them again.

"Maybe we should let him go... They're pretty hot when they're mad. I'm sure they'd forgive us eventually."

"Quiet."

It's quiet now. How soon the commotion ends when that side of them says their part. Their voice doesn't like nails on a chalkboard. So sweet it makes teeth rot. It isn't authoritative enough to make those who heard Trimble in their wake nor is it meek and pathetic enough for a second listen. It was the amalgam of those voices - the best pairs.

"Now, Blu. You know we can't do things alone that we haven't discussed with everyone else before hand. Would you please let me out so I can take care of our little problem?"

"...ok."

Trembling hands retrieve the fist-sized cube from its pocket; chipped nails slid into the crevice separating the second and third row of squares. Why were they the one that had to solve it? These puzzles were always so hard despite the countless times they've done it - teary eyes aiding little to their cause. It becomes easier once they slide the third white cube into row. Their eyesight and mental slate become clear, cheeks dry and devoid of the faded acne scars that plagued them. They step towards their captive who was busy squirming away from the figure now five inches taller and missing the hunch in their posture that left them wondering how they had managed to drag them here in the beginning. Gaze piercing and laser focus as opposed to cowering from each sniffle. With those pure white eyes it's impossible to tell where they're looking, but the threat of being the target of their glance was petrifying alone. They were blue not even a minute ago. It was like they were a different person entirely - body and soul.

A dice falls to their victim's feet.

"Six.... You were fortune this time."

Another object grabbed from their robes. A single line drawn across their neck - and it's back to five.

"I knew you had that on you...."

"Awww, what the hell - over already? Should've made them beg or at least give us their address."

"May they have a peace rest.... Is what I would say if it were someone else, haha!"

"I think I'm gonna be sick..."

The figure pockets their weapon and stands with a stretch, stepping away from the growing pool of blood. "That was messier than expected. What should we do now?"

"Clean up this mess."

"Check Y/n's page."

"Send them flowers!"

"And this guy's heart in a chocolate box."

"All good ideas. Why don't we do them all?... Besides that last one."

Five people to a room.

As it always should be - until you come home.

[bloodscribed]

PROMPTS FROM VARIOUS LITERARY SOURCES.

I have not broken your heart — you have; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.

I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.

Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter.

When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where the madness lies?

To dream the impossible dream, that is my quest.

When we set the carriage afire, her flesh will be roasted, her bones will be charred: she will die an agonizing death.

What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.

The bird fights its way out of the egg.

I have no right to call myself one who knows.

We who bore the mark might well be considered by the rest of the world as strange, even as insane and dangerous.

I have no idea whether parents can be of help, and I do not blame mine.

At one time I had given much thought to why men were so very rarely capable of living for an ideal. Now I saw that many, no, all men were capable of dying for one.

I will not make a gift of myself, I must be won.

Examine a person closely enough and you know more about him than he does himself.

One cannot apologize for something fundamental, and a child feels and knows this as well and as deeply as any sage.

The tree does not die. It waits.

Fate and character are different names for the same idea.

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.

All theory is gray, my friend. But forever green is the tree of life.

I am not omniscient, but I know a lot.

Everything transitory is but an image.

One mind is enough for a thousand hands.

Man errs, till he has ceased to strive.

Words are mere sound and smoke, dimming the heavenly light.

But you will never know another's heart, unless you are prepared to give yours too.

The Devil's in the house and can't get out.

Men's wretchedness in soothe I so deplore.

To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.

It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently.

Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.

When reason fails, the devil helps!

A hundred suspicions don't make a proof.

The man who has a conscience suffers whilst acknowledging his sin. That is his punishment.

The fear of appearances is the first symptom of impotence.

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

Have you ever heard of 'a genius who had been stuffed and preserved'?

Every day I am fated to die.

All the activities of life seem unbearably dull to me and I have renounced them.

 If you would be nice to me, I would gladly die for you this moment.

Having made an utter failure of my life, I found myself one day in the midst of my poverty and wretchedness, thinking about the female companions of my youth.

So, surrender to sleep at last. What a misery, keeping watch through the night, wide awake -- you’ll soon come up from under all your troubles.

Man is the vainest of all creatures that have their being upon earth.

There is a time for making speeches, and a time for going to bed.

For there is nothing better in this world than that man and wife should be of one mind in a house.

I swear by the greatest, grimmest oath that binds the happy gods.

Few sons are the equals of their fathers; most fall short, all too few surpass them.

[writing-fanics]

' i thought you liked your usual '

'I used to'

sanji x f!reader

next part

[tw: angst: heartbreak: bickering: obvious tension (eventually)]

"Hi, welcome to our shitty restaurant where the only thing worse than the ambience is the food." The waiter said in a sour tone, as he placed the plate of fresh bread onto the table.

"My name is Sanji. What can I get for you?" He said looking at the Strawhat Crew, "One of everything, please." Luffy said, as he stuffed his mouth with the delicious bread.

"Any drinks?" He asked his eyes almost landing on someone with [h/c] sitting next to Zoro. He didn't know why that person even though not seeing their face looked familiar to him.

"One of our signature cocktails to help you choke down your meal?" He said, still in a sour mood.

"Kicked off the line again?" [Y/n] asked, raising her head as she folded her arms across her chest, staring at him smugly with pursed lips. Hearing her voice again made his heart skip a beat. "Didn't expect to see you again so soon," He said with his signature charming smile, that could make every man or woman swoon over him.

"Me too," She said with a hint of coldness in her voice, the others looked between the two of them. Eyes darting back and forth between Sanji and [Y/n]. He looked at her for a bit and noticed the tense situation, Zoro cleared his throat and said, "Waiter, can I get a beer and something for my friends?" Ussop then cuts in, "Two beers. I usually have three, but…" Ussop said.

"And milk," Luffy said his mouth full of bread. Sanji asked, eyes landing on [Y/n] once more. "Three beers and a milk. And, uh- your usual?" She looked at him. Coldly, almost annoyed, she replied, "Just a glass of water will do.". „What? I thought you liked your usual? ” He said looking at her, god he missed her so much.

She stared at him coldly, "I used to.". His lips pursed inward and he nodded, "Right away," he said, turning to head for the kitchen. She fell back into her seat and noticed the crew staring at her, "What?" She asked, looking at the others.

"Ah? What the hell was that?" Nami asked, and [Y/n] sighed rolling her eyes as she sat up in the booth, "Yeah, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife." Usopp said, and the girl groaned into the palm of her hands. Embarrassed by the scene she caused in front of her friend, "Did he stand you up on a date or something?" Usopp asked, and she lifted her head from her hands and placed them on her lap.

She sighed falling back into the booth and slouching her back, "No, but that would've saved me the heartbreak and tears." She said and Usopp was about to ask another question possibly. "No more questions," She said, before he could even ask he closed his mouth.

{meanwhile}

Sanji's day couldn't have gotten any worse or better. He was kicked off the line and now his ex-fiancee is here and was sitting next to some guy with green hair and three swords. Has she moved on? Has she replaced him?

"No way, she didn't replace with that moss-head?" He mumbled under his breath. Words can't explain how much he missed her and how much he beat himself up for making her leave. Every day, he beats himself up for it each day he's reminded of the consequences of his actions when he wakes up every morning and she isn't there beside him.

Everyday when he's not waking up to her cuddled up beside him, her head buried into his chest. Her tiny snore echoing throughout what was once their shared room, everyday was a reminder of his failure as a partner. was there even a chance to fix it?

He'd take that chance in a heartbeat, quit smoking he'd do it in a heartbeat if it meant being with his love again. Actually, ever since their argument a year ago he hasn't flirted with a single lady since. Really, for a year ever since that day he's been waiting hoping praying, that she'll walk through those doors and he can apologize for everything. So why can't he now?

First thing, she clearly doesn't want to talk to him still pissed off about what happened a year ago. Maybe, if he tries some small talk maybe she'll warm up. God, he hopes that she isn't sleeping with that moss-head man. Whatever it is, he's at least going to try to fix things hopefully, and if she doesn't want anything to do with him then that's fine. He'll just have to live with not having the best thing to ever happen to him in his life again.

taglist

@mishakoon @badbye666 @sweetheartlizzie07 @randomgurl2326

[keshetchai]

I think a huge problem in internet Judaism (also sometimes irl!) discussions is often that we're so focused on fighting or pushing back on misconceptions, Christian normativity, and distorted Christian ideas about our theology — that sometimes in the pursuit of this, we forget to approach a more complicated internal reality, or we overlook parts of our own religion while trying to not assimilate.

Things like the Talmud talking about Yom Kippur being a happy day. A lot of folks were surprised and didn't know there's a huge tradition that YK is supposed to be a positive holiday and many Jews observe with joy. Then some folks went on to elaborate that if someone wished them a happy Yom Kippur and they were Jewish it was fine, but if they were gentiles who simply didn't know anything and didn't bother to learn, then they were annoyed by the lack of care re: cultural nuance or whatever.

But like...of all the annoying christian-normative bullshit that exists — someone trying to wish me a happy holiday on a holiday that is noted to be solemn AND positive, but not really knowing anything about my religion — that doesn't really make a list of things I have time to be mad about! Or even irked by!

There's a lot of ways in which people are shitty and careless or make it obvious they consider our non-christian holidays an annoying quirk they have to acknowledge, but "happy yom kippur!" Is not one of them. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that I want other people to assume the best of me, even when I am the one who is socially awkward or ignorant, or stumbling around just trying to be an okay person. And sometimes I am the clueless one who has only a shallow understanding of someone's interior life/culture and I said/did nothing actually offensive but treated the situation the same way I treat similar ones in my own life because everyone has cultural blinders somewhere.

So sometimes, I have to look at other people doing The Thing and ask myself if it's at all malicious or harmful, and if it ISN'T, shouldn't I assume the best of another human bumbling around like I do all the time? "Hey thanks. Yeah I had a meaningful holiday."

Likewise, YES, we do have a history of wrestling with G-d and pushing back and asking questions and so on, but no, stiff-necked isn't wholly complimentary, it's...frequently the opposite of that. And the knee-jerk reaction is often to push back against Christianity and Islam vilifying Jews and their stubbornness/failures/wrongs in the Bible. Which is totally reasonable, there's a huge history of a theology of antisemitism and blaming there that impacts us today.

HOWEVER, we can push back against the antisemitic theologies and interpretations of these stories without necessarily having to recharacterize everything beyond recognition?

Yes, Abraham yelled at G-d that one time, and it was great. It may have even been a test of Abraham. Yes, Israel wrestles with G-d. Yes, the Jews in the desert complain to Moses they are dying of thirst and ask what was the point of leaving Egypt if they should only die while wandering instead?

Great. Love that. BUT ALSO: yes stiff-necked is not always a compliment. Yes, the Israelites struggled and made mistakes, and are utterly and painfully human just like people are today. Flawed. We are not so stiff-necked as to say we have not sinned!

Is anything as scary as a group that admits no flaws? No errors of judgment? Never questions themselves or learns from past mistakes? Idk to me, it's all very "with great responsibility comes great accountability, and power isn't the point here." Yes? If we take pride in the moments of arguing and the pushing back, then by that same token, we have to own the failings just as much to learn from. The relationship between G-d and Jews is a two way street.

It's not a failing to be an imperfect human, but it would be a failing to screw something up and then never admit it or keep doing it when you can change.

Idk I just...there's got to be ways we can dig into meaty and interesting stuff without having to constantly be like "just because some ancestors screwed up and G-d was angry at them doesn't mean you can say Jews lost the love of God and the covenant and were replaced you absolute weirdos."

[hurtspideyparker]

Peter Parker's Guilt Complex

Uncle Ben died because he didn't step up. If he isn't using his powers for good, then he's using them for bad. There is no neutrality for him, no stepping away from Spider-Man. We see this shown in Captain America Civil War:

"when you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? they happen because of you"

Peter takes responsibility for the city of New York's safety all in his own back. Tony Stark validates him as a hero by having him fight alongside and against the Avengers, which fuels his belief that he's able to take on more than petty crime (when Tony doesn't provide anything more high-stakes, he takes his own risks. if bigger, badder things are out there and he isn't there to stop them? his fault.)

He can't step away, even for his own safety (his fault his fault his fault)

When he nearly dies in that collapsed building in homecoming it becomes glaringly obvious that there are no other heroes coming to save him. Even Peter Parker needs Spider-Man to save him; this only hammers in the idea that he can never rest as a hero, because then who else will save the city?

Peter drops his extracurriculars, stops hanging out with his friends. He becomes consumed with his hero identity (no breaks no time what if they need me what if there's danger what if I was having fun or doing homework while someone was dying?).

Then Peter becomes an Avenger, fights in a war, and loses people. Loses Tony. He's 16 and he just saved the world - so he takes a break. Goes to Europe with his class. Aunt May snuck the Spider-Man suit in his bag; the red and blue follow him like a ghost and he's haunted by expectations to save the world, to be the next Stark.

And Fury is there to remind him once again what a failure he is (step up, fight, no breaks. my fault my fault my fault). And for the first time in his career he considers that maybe the world is better without Spider-Man. Maybe he just makes things worse.

Beck is better. Beck will fix things. Peter chooses to be just a little selfish for once and hands over the Stark legacy to someone more qualified so he can go kiss a pretty girl.

It backfires; Peter's guilt nearly swallows him whole. Not only did he shit on everything great Tony thought he was, but now he's handed a super weapon to the latest villain hell bent on killing him and his friends (the people around me get hurt the people I care about the people that I put in danger my fault my fault my fault).

When his identity is revealed maybe a small part of him thinks he deserves this. The public may have the details wrong but in the end they're right, he's a fraud and a danger. He hurts the people he loves, lets them down and puts them in harm's way.

Ned and MJ can't get into MIT because of him, he tries to fix it. He messes up the spell, he tries to fix it. May dies and he can't fix it (my fault my fault my fault).

He lets them go. Blinded by his guilt he can no longer see the light and love he brought into people's lives, only the darkness he's stained them with. He cuts the strings and along with it goes some of the guilt that weighs him down, but where the guilt resided is now a gaping hole of loneliness, his chest as hollow as the apartment he now lives in.

On nights where he misses Ned's laughter, and MJ's witty comments, May's hugs, and working in Tony's lab, he still hears the voice in his head reminding him my fault my fault my fault. Though instead of guilt it only brings melancholy and resignation. This decision has to be the right one because the only person it's hurting is himself.

Peter Parker was a guilty man. So he gave up everything he had until there was nothing left to be guilty for.

Peter Parker is a selfless man.

[psychewritesbs]

Chapter 251: Decisive Battle in the Unhabited, Demon-Infested Shinjuku, Part 23--Megumi is back!! aaaaand it's not looking good

Well. In case you've been living under a rock, Megumi is back and everyone and their mom knows about it because Twitter demonstrated to be full of people who lack reading comprehension, basic human compassion, and an understanding of how trauma fucks with the mind. Only the latter is excusable, since this is domain-specific knowledge that I don't expect others to be aware of.

The number of times I've read the word "bitch" next to Megumi's name is appalling to say the least.

So... yeah... happy jjk-Sunday? Sorry, I wish I had a more upbeat intro to my ramble for this chapter but man... this fandom is something else and a lot of the comments about Megumi were just so...

Anyways let's taco'bout Megumi and share Megumi-love under the cut.

What is this irritating feeling?

Why does this matter? If you haven't seen me mention this over on the twt already, Sukuna makes a small gesture that is unequivocally Megumi body-language in chapter 248:

Megumi typically places his hand over his shoulder when he's stressed (although I have to confirm he only does it when stressed):

It isn't just the body language that is significant, but rather the way of thinking itself. I didn't catch this myself, but Ant and Danchou did, so I might not do it justice when explaining it.

This way of thinking is very Megumi-like in how he second-guesses himself. More than second-guessing, however, it also feels like a nascent sense of consciousness. All of this obviously presents a very interesting dilemma because, as Sukuna recognizes, sharing a body with Yuji has changed him.

I think we all knew Yuji or Megumi would be changed by Sukuna--because that is how Gege directed our attention by having Gojo mention Yuji could inherit Sukuna's CT by the mere fact that they shared a body. I know I also assumed that Megumi would maybe learn from Sukuna using 10s. But I also know I never even considered that the opposite could be true: Yuji and Megumi could also change Sukuna.

So, the way I see it, with that hand gesture, we have what appears to be Megumi's sense of self bubbling up from under the surface and changing Sukuna.

What's interesting to me is how subtle this is. Sukuna notices this as an "irritating feeling" that is incomprehensible to someone like him who rejects aspirational ideals.

So, part of what I love about this is that sharing a body with Yuji has deepened Sukuna's own experience of reality.

Sukuna is all ego, right? Ego is everything that is concrete...

So I have to wonder how much of this is also Megumi's own emotional turmoil given what we saw this chapter...

Wake up, Megumi!

Ok so let's do a quick recap...

We also know Tsumiki is integral to how Megumi sees himself. This is very important because Megumi basically makes her his raison d'être. In other words, his whole identity is framed around protecting her during the Culling Game. Aside from the obvious shock that it was to realize Yorozu was pretending to be Tsumiki the whole time, which meant Tsumiki was dead, the issue with Megumi was that he made Tsumiki his identity.

And if there is one thing we have seen happen time and time again in jjk is how being limited by your self-ascribed identity comes back and bites you in the ass.

So in Megumi's case, what happens when his whole identity was framed around a single outcome, and then he realized that outcome turned out to be a failure right from the start?

An identity crisis or basically no sense of self.

So what does he have to live for now?

What reason does he have for living if the person whom he had wrapped his identity around is now gone? This is what created the opening for Sukuna to possess him.

What's crazy about this is that even when he was weakened, he still put up a fight and elicited a "Fushiguro Megumi" from Sukuna. Sukuna had probably already considered the importance of the bath, but this likely solidified the need to have Megumi marinate in cursed energy. Like... this is what it took to bury Megumi's consciousness. Also, this is important because we're talking about marinating in negative emotions "to be near evil".

Now, it's midnight and I got to get to sleep, but the way jjk uses "evil" is not cliché at all, but almost like as a metaphor for chaos, hyper individuality, and instinct. I started writing about Naoki Urasawa's Monster, so hopefully I can get around to explaining the whole good vs. evil dichotomy (which is one of my favorite topics ever) soon, but this is all I'll say for now. I'll come back to this in a sec.

Next, Megumi's own Cursed Technique (which we know is tied to the brain and personality) and hands are used to kill Tsumiki's body and Gojo while Megumi can only observe.

And then, Gojo accidentally blitzes Megumi's soul with his technique.

Like are we for real expecting Megumi to just stand up and start throwing hands after all he's been through? What is wrong with people???!!!!!!!!!!! Have some compassion ffs.

Unfortunately, this isn't just about a lack of reading comprehension and compassion, it's also about lack of domain knowledge. This is Trauma with a BIG T we're talking about, and Trauma has been shown to limit how you see yourself and how you are able to think.

So, of course Megumi is distraught. The writing in this is so damn realistic.

Now, Gege has been paying special attention to Megumi's body language, and while the rest of the fandom is laughing at the "Mahoraga hands", I'm looking at how tightly closed those fists are. Even the way he's curled up in a tight ball... Almost like he's about to blow up from sheer pressure.

Quite the contrast to the last time we saw him in a similar position but with more relaxed body language.

And remember, he marinated in cursed energy so that he would be closer to "evil", right? Plus getting blitzed?

Listen, I am ready for Yuji's pep talk, I am sure it will be generational, but right now, I don't think Megumi is ready (or maybe even able) to hear it. Again, because Trauma with a big T.

Plus Sukuna loosing control of Megumi's body? You kind of have to wonder why Megumi's energy has been crescendoing to the point that Sukuna would be affected by it and not only think like Megumi, but also use body language that is unequivocally Megumi.

This feels like a Megumi is about to snap.

This is starting to feel ominous precisely because he's marinated in these self-destructive emotions for so long. Emotions which surely intensified as he saw the consequences of his inability to take action.

But then again... I was expecting a blood bath out of the culling game and it was everything but so 🤣 idk what to tell y'all. As predictable as he is, Gege is unpredictable af.

Ok I think those are my main thoughts? WHAT ABOUT Y'ALL?!!!!!! What are we thinking? What are the theories? oh mai gah.

Even if I'm responding to asks slowly, I'm still reading them as they come in guys. Sorry, school + work is kicking my ass because well... in typical Megumi fashion I haven't taken responsibility for bringing out my best.

That said, I go off to sleep 🫡 Thanks for reading!

[homunculus-argument]

I don't wear pants when I'm at home. I have a routine I do as soon as I get home - I take off my shoes, I take off my jewellery, and I take off my pants. While I can respect people who choose not to do so, and just take "come as you are" at full face value, I don't consider it dishonest to have a distinction between how you present yourself in public and how you just are when nobody's observing you. As a matter of fact I get depressed if I don't get to put all my swag on to go out of the house to be me out in public once in a while.

It's not lying or deceiving people to wear pants in public if you don't do that at home, just the same as you don't sit on the floor at the bank even if you'd find that more comfortable than the chairs provided. it's still you, even if it's a slightly different you in public and in private. I choose the jewellery I wear and the faces I make for polite small talk.

The thing is, for some people, a part of their public out-of-the-house performance is just being nice to people. It's something they put on when they're just about to leave the house, and put in a bowl on the cupboard by the door next to their keys when they get back home. Even this isn't inherently bad - I much prefer that they do that instead of just comfortably saying everything they're thinking in private directly to my face - but I'm pretty sure that these are the people who get personally offended by the idea that adult children can just cut ties with their parents for no reason.

The demand that someone ought to be Acting Like In Public at all times, even in their own home, is absurd and unreasonable. It's exhausting to live like that, nobody can do that 24/7. The idea that your own children could abandon you for your failure to do something that's unsustainable and utterly impossible feels insane and unreasonably cruel. Of course they are offended by the idea that their children aren't born with any inherent duty to never abandon them no matter how ugly they are at home.

Unfortunately, nobody's entitled to anyone's presence or companionship. People who don't like being around you have no obligation to be around you. And if you find being nice to people to be something inherently uncomfortable that you don't want to do in your own house, you shouldn't create people who have nowhere else to go and no other choice but to be in your house.

Because they will fuck off the very first moment they'll find somewhere else they can be.

[loser-female]

Math masterpost!

So you want to learn math. Good. Math is amazing. I studied physics for two years and I miss it SO MUCH. Learning math isn't just cool, but it's a great way to improve skills such as:

Resilience: sometimes you will get stuck for a while on a problem - this is absolutely normal for college-level problems. You won't start from here though;

Self confidence: mastering a subject known to be difficult is fun;

Problem solving: you will be less likely to just sit down and do nothing if something comes up in your life, you will be able to try to find a solution.

It will change your approach to failure as you will become more flexible in your thinking.

Unfortunately most people never learn how to properly study math. We all probably know how to study a book over humanities. We start by reading the material, then we take notes of the keypoints. But this method doesn't work with math, and math teachers often don't really know either.

For the basics I've made this post here. To sum it up:

Please don't start with "but i suck at it". Because then your brain will actually prevent you from learning (self-fulfilling prophecy, anyone?);

Realise that you need to master one topic before covering the next one or you won't be able to progress;

Really, the methods you use for things like literature or psychology or whatever won't work

Now I'm not a genius, I always was and I always be a terrible student. I have adhd, depression and chronic pain, all of which add a difficulty layer with learning.

I feel like most people fail because of the first point. I've seen this with people I've tutored IRL, people I try to fix their pc... Don't be the person that gives up before trying because no one likes that. Just don't. Remember that you are learning on your own and no one is going to grade your excercises. Now take that and make a poster out of iy.

Now, resources Where To Find The Stuff.

Khan Academy. I didn't follow this courses becuase well, university, physics, but everyone references them.

Professor Leonard

The Math Sorcerer

3b1b (curiosities in math)

Vsauce2 (fun)

numberphile (this for understanding math memes)

r/learnmath resources are great!

A great study method

Proofs? Proofs.

A 3 page document on learning math (but it's cool)

Terry Tao's famous post "there is more in mathematics about rigour and proofs"

Remember that, even if you don't like a specific youtuber, source or anything it has been a while since college and high school teachers started to upload their own material. Generally, looking for like "calculus pdf" will give you a lot of resources. Youtube is full of university courses of every kind and it's so good to access all of this knowledge for free. I cannot recommend you anything regarding textbooks because I still have my high school one. Also yes, i've used the Rudin as a complementary textbook in university but that's a bit too much.

I really, really want to emphasize the mentality part. Leaning formula is useless if you feel like garbage because you weren't able to solve the first exercise you picked up after a decade not doing anything.

My personal and sparce advice:

Unless you have dyscalculia don't use the calculator. I know, I KNOW. But this "lazyness" will make everything 10 times more difficult.

Beware about overlearning. Basically, when you solve everything at the first attempt and you keep doing the same thing over and over because it feels good, but the truth is that you are wasting time. This is the time to move forward.

Try to differentiate between a knowledge error(did I actually study the subject?), a conceptual error (did I understand the material), or a mere calculation/distraction error (fo example a missing sign, writing the wrong thing etc)

Try to solve the problems in different ways if you can.

After a certain time, It will be useful to review things done in the past, (ref: spaced repetition method).

Write everything down. Reasonings, steps etc. It will be easier for you to review them.

This posts keep crashing so I have to call it quits now.

but:

have fun