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#so i called them and cancelled it lol
fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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Playing a game called ‘how long can I put off talking about my various mental problems with a medical professional’. It’s going badly. I recommend no one play this game, 0/5 stars
#so basically i had an appointment booked tomorrow to talk about potentially getting a prescription for microgynon or similar#just to even out my cycle. but i already got a prescription from boots because i discovered that’s a thing you can do#but i was like ‘no i’ll keep the appointment and finally talk about my anxiety’#my idea was to go in there and be like ‘so here’s the deal; i got my pills already and you should probably check my blood pressure#i’m like 99% certain it’ll be 100 over 80 as always but we should make sure it hasn’t shot up because i could like. die.#second; everybody in my life is begging me to get help for my anxiety. what do now’#but then i thought about it and i was like…… do i really want to go to the doctor’s BEFORE WORK and also talk about all these complex issues#like i WILL cry if i talk about my mental health or lack thereof with a random stranger. i will. because it’s a humiliating conversation!!#i don’t like having it!!! there’s a reason i quit therapy 13 years ago and haven’t gone back#also i don’t want to get up that early. lately i have not been sleeping well and i need all the sleep i can get and my shift doesn’t start#til 11; which WOULD allow me to sleep in if i didn’t have a doctor’s appointment at fucking 9#i was also thinking in my own brain like. what if i chicken out and only have them check my blood pressure (which is a pointless exercise#because it Is going to be 100 over 80 and also i could just buy a blood pressure machine and do that in my home. then they’ve put aside a 30#minute block for someone who literally doesn’t need it. i should cancel it in case someone needs an urgent appointment#so i called them and cancelled it lol#listen. one day i will stop playing this game and just TALK to somebody. but it is not this day#i genuinely think that for the moment i can manage my anxiety with herbal remedies and meditation and just reminding myself that i am being#stupid and to shut up. like i’m fundamentally okay. i am going to work. i am functioning at work. my manager is happy with how i’m doing#and says other coworkers have told her i’m great. everyone is commenting saying i’ve lost weight and i look well#i take my little mabel for walks and i read books and enjoy my hobbies. like. i’m OKAY.#i know things could still be better but fundamentally i don’t think i have anything meaningful to tell a medical professional#like maybe everyone gets nervous and sad and feels like it’s all pointless. what do i really expect to happen#would antidepressants even help me? who can be sure. not me#tl;dr i’m FINE except when i’m not but even then i think generally i will be fine#personal
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naivety · 2 months
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very weird to frame your abuse apologia as being aware that the writers intended to illustrate a mutually harmful dynamic and not an abusive one. when the writers in question also wrote the line 'once you put it out there, they [the audience] decide what it is' because nothing you ever create has any innate definition. when the writers in question decided to racebend major characters and then showcase them being harmed by white or nonblack characters in a repeatedly racialized pattern when they Did Not Have To Do That and then genuinely or disingenuously decide to dialogue about their directly or indirectly illustrated racialized dynamic of intimate partner violence within and outside the narrative. like to be quite honest it does not matter what they intended because this is what they made and this is how it Looks to a notably large amount of people. who just happen to be interpreting it wrong? according to what metric? the very metric they say Doesn't Work in their own fictional creation? ok
#j watches interview with the vampire#i keep saying i'm tired of talking about this but i'm not#iwtv is SO enjoyable to me when i Don't make excuses for obviously shitty people#cannot comprehend the level of mental gymnastics. well actually i can lol#like i'm not trying to suck the fun out of a fictional show of fun fucked up dynamics#it's fun and fucked up Because. they let it be fucked up#let it be fucked up!#so many people seem to have such an aversion to the idea that lestat ever abused anyone but especially louis#when we know even if he didn't abuse louis he definitely abused claudia. often IN very misogynistic and racist ways btw#which people conveniently ignore#let alone that he does similar things to louis even when he at the same time would never Want to abuse louis#like both are true. i think. like#it's good that we as a society have tried to be better about cutting off abusers at the heels to compensate for it not happening Enough#but we have to stop pretending they aren't human people and that abuse is a Human act and that their humanity#and our ability to understand them with Our humanity just Disappears the second they do something monstrous#like no. both are true. all of it's true#pretending lestat was never abusive does nothing for no one#and i really truly feel like it takes the bite Out of such a compelling story to view it that way#let it bite my friends i promise you will survive it#imo seeing lestat's abuse for what it is =/= Cancel Him NOW like. i still enjoy him for what he is as long as he's Allowed to be what he is#which the finale. um. appeared to backpedal lol which is why it immediately sucked to me#realizing i am Because Of Woke-ing lestat but like people are afraid to call him abusive because they like him and they feel like#they can't continue to like him if they admit he was ever abusive. Because of Woke HFKSDJF
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communistkenobi · 1 year
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people fawning over the environmentalist themes in tolkien’s work has always made me deeply uneasy but I could never articulate why, and reading orientalism is clarifying a lot of that for me lol
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starlit-mansion · 8 months
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it's kind of wild that jessie gender used the word transandrophobia in a youtube video. i've never seen that happen before. people gotchaing you know who for blatantly misgendering rebecca sugar and nate stevenson was the most callout of actual transmasc or afab transneutral erasure i've seen from the video essay space in memory, and even that was mostly just to pad out the callout post
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mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"
#The First Funny Bitch as a phrase from the ''cain was the first funny bitch'' post that i will use with some flexibility. yaknow.#i love going like oh boy a coworker triumvirate. their funny little guy (other duo going ''i want him dead'')#though it's unfair to the savoys lmfao if he's at best sometimes a desk toy to them: they do at least keep calling him babygirl#and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him#so if nothing else we do appreciate adding a ton of flair to [afflicting the autistic coworker]#in turn i appreciate that mordecai and viktor's dynamic probably consisted of mutual ''i Do Not Care if my coworker seems weird''#but outside of that; was anyone at lackadaisy aggrieving mordecai with the style & variety that the savoys bring....perhaps not#an upgrade in that realm....and there seems to be Some mutual [i do not care if my coworker seems weird] there again too lol#even while they've all probably been working together like half a week & haven't all worn their getalong sweater long enough#and already mordecai is doing his [not just literally standing there] rogue lone mystery solving deal lmao. wild card that he is#lackadaisy#oh also speaking of [before mordecai went grr i Hate still working here; ripped off the fridge door; went & got a new Hated job]#it's pure bonus comic realm & particularly Elevated Silly Goofs genre at that; but#points for ivy having that Younger Sibling dynamic w/mordecai w/the implication she takes his forbidden condiments index seriously#and like; in general lol not even just a [it's serious when it comes to dealing with this weird guy] way. all the more powerful for that#wait i nearly forgot to mention the hot new otp: mordecai / j.j.#that's right [sad trombone] providing guy. i know enough. first funny bitch 4 first funny bitch.#[guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] 4 [guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass]#and ofc because it is funny in & of itself. & basically like Your New OC. so much room to maneuver that you cannot crash#also hmm like if your nickname for someone is Maybe ''annoying mf'' does it cancel out....eh#numbers flying around intense focus like everything points to ''hatchet would directly translate to hatchette not petit hache''#and if you mon petit hache it (read this w/such a meter that it all rhymes)#900 tons of restraint not going ''wow this is just like analyzing billions'' & by even saying i've managed to avoid as much; now i haven't
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dangerliesbeforeyou · 2 months
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i love how the first 2 series of the league of gentlemen has a lot of ~flirtations~ but by series 3 they're like 'fuck it let's all just make out and fuck' and honestly despite all the flaws i respect them committing to that lol
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fragmentedblade · 1 year
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"The person responded that it is true that Xianzhou people like large and strong pets, but there are also those who love petite and delicate ones. Now that he saw the sparkle in my eyes, he expected that I must be the latter"
#This man is one of those big guys with a kitten or a chihuahua‚ isn't he?#He is actually adorable and it makes the pictures of him softly handling birds while he looks at them with extreme tenderness gain layers#I love that he had read about the grimalkin in old texts‚ so appropriate. And that he was suspicious of the scam‚ so fitting#I found very cute that he made a comment about it not being an invasive species#But I adore that he couldn't turn down the offer 'after petting those tender little paws'. Truly this man is adorable haha#He called it 'Mimi' because he expected it to be cute and tiny and he got himself a lion this man is absurd and adorable I can't xD#And I love how he is not fazed by much including public opinion. How he says to Fu Xuan that about him facing the consequences as a joke#but perhaps with some truth and how he says here 'Qingzu was worried that could be bad for me‚ but I didn't think too much of it#and told her not to worry. In my opinion‚ «The Glutton General» sounds more impressive than «The Dozing General»'#Oh I love him so hahaha#However everything is cancelled. Not Jing Yuan‚ Blade‚ Fu Xuan‚ Sampo or Jingliu. My favourite character is Qingzu. We stan a funny liar#The reference to Doraemon got me lol#I can't stop thinking about Jing Yuan holding Yanqing with such tenderness in the context of these lines#And the birds. And the Yanqing—birds... parallelism? which I love. What a soft lovely man he is haha#Truly they did his character a disservice with the imposing general voice in the English dub#It's almost worth playing in Chinese for that alone#Jing Yuan#I talk too much#I can't believe he got scammed into buying a lion because he thought he was buying something small#He truly is one of those extremely stupid highly intelligent people‚ eh?#I couldn't love him more haha I find him so funny and endearing#He seems to have stopped because the cat was small and cute and he thought no one was going to buy it at first too?#He is really adorable and I can't stop thinking about Yanqing in this context
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asexualdindjarin · 1 year
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the nhs is free at the point of use for all 🥰🥰🥰🥰 what? you have teeth? fuck you. nah fuck you for real get out 👊😤
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fingertipsmp3 · 8 months
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I feel like I’ve lived through at least a month just in the past 3 days. I checked the date just now and damn near had an out of body experience when I realised Monday was only two days ago
#bro the absolute sodding emotional rollercoaster i have been through this past week should be studied by scientists#thursday: unsuccessful job interview. friday: found out that the job interview was unsuccessful. but one of the interviewers (actually a#former colleague of mine lol) gave me a piece of feedback that made me feel like i’d cracked the code for all future interviews#it was this: keep. talking. give as many details as humanly fucking possible. talk about policy. drop in words like safeguarding#list as many examples of stuff as you can. tell stories. bamboozle them#OH i forgot to even fucking mention we had builders at our house until friday. friday was the last day they woke me up with a cacophony#so the weekend was uneventful aside from there was a skip in the driveway and scaffolding all down the side of the house but zero men#monday: successful interview. found out it was successful 5 hours later. got off the phone having accepted the job…… and found a text from#my old boss (the boss i had at the job i really enjoyed. that old boss) inviting me to come back this summer#i had a bit of a mental breakdown but eventually decided to stick with the job i’d just got because it’s a permanent contract and they will#let me sit down#yesterday: found out that the foster doggy i applied for and really wanted is going to her forever home on thursday (which is now tomorrow)#obviously i love this for her but i was like ‘damn. okay’#today: the foster co-ordinator was like ‘hey do you want to foster this rambunctious 3 year old unneutered terrier?’#i was like ‘sure yeah what the fuck. that might as well happen’#(they are neutering him beforehand. and he looks really cute. he’s not aggressive he’s just a young terrier with like 3 brain cells)#unless something finally kills me in the meantime i’m picking him up on monday. i cancelled therapy in order to do this. yes i’m well aware#that there’s a metaphor somewhere in there but it’s fine. i rescheduled therapy#i also have realised i do not know how and when i’m going to get my ssri prescription renewed… i know the pharmacy will call me in a couple#of weeks to make sure i haven’t died. but i think i was supposed to get a prescription renewal at therapy#the therapy i won’t be going to until like 5 days after my prescription runs out. that therapy. foook#honestly withdrawal symptoms would probably just spice up the situation at this point. they’d just make things interesting#i swear to god everything always gets crazy and stupid right before my birthday… remember when i turned 26 and couldn’t drink because i#was on antibiotics for a kidney infection. and when i turned 27 and one of my wisdom teeth tried to emerge#this is like that except with dogs and jobs. at least the skip and the scaffolding are gone now#i AM trying to sell a sofa on facebook marketplace so wish me luck with that ig#personal
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yeahyouresocool · 8 months
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they should invent a parent that you can trust and rely on
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princesscedar · 9 months
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Trying to tell mom "hey maybe don't call j ewish people rats even unintentionally" event leaves 10 dead thousands injured
#INCREDIBLE how any time i address mom's casual antis emitism she goes into a tirade like 'oh THEY get to be treated special' like#literally me n the 19 yr old give receipts and she always flies off the handle lol lmao haha#she was referring to the tunnel thing in new york and said 'an orthodox j ewish man climbed out the sewer like a rat'#and me n 19 yr old both 😬😬 and casually lightheartedly say 'hey you probably shouldn't say that abt j ewish ppl' and she took it personal#like we said she said it w/ malice and not the same tone as 'hey don't call a black person a monkey even if you didn't mean it offensively'#and 2 hours later she STILL is on her 'well i think it's an agenda some ppl just try and SAY things are offensive and they're not' mom.#u r LITERALLY black. WHY is this hard for u to understand#she did the same when i said a o t was fascist anti semitic nationalist but she's like 'i read it and i didn't see any of that so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#'if you didn't read it you can't say anything's wrong with it'#same w/ that Witches remake a few years ago and i pointed out the witches were coded as j ewish caricatures in the book#and hopefully it wouldn't happen in the new movie#and she thought it was an agenda to cancel it because the main characters were black now#somehow transferred into talkin abt cops and th3 m ilitary and me saying both should be abolished and now she's like#and how i think it's kinda unnecessary to include blatant mil itary propaganda in a show for 6 yr olds lol#and she's like 'are you saying every cop and military person is bad and evil? should kids w/ parents in those forces never be represented?'#no i literally didn't say every individual is but the organizations need to end at least 90% in my lifetime <33 and no i also don't think#a kid w a soldier dad is the same as a kid with a black dad so no mili tary n cop rep is not the same as poc rep lol she literally said that#and mad that i didn't have THEE solution to replace them like i need to know the exact plan to fix it to point out that they shouldn't exist#anywhooooooo she raises my blood pressure lol <33333#sentext
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keeps-ache · 9 months
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the heels of my pants are wet !!
#just me hi#are they called heels ?#doesn't matter- now they are >:)#anyway i have found a love for big pants#i am short so feedback says i look silly. but i wanna be silly anyway so!! i'm winning :D#but anyway that Does mean that some pants that fit me also Don't fit me lol#they're too long. so the cuffs are on the ground + under my heels#and it's raining outside and i had to grab a christmas gift and i forgot to tug them up and now i have to roll them up-#and beCAUSE i can't just. sit on the floor i'm sitting criss-cross and the wet. is on. the inside bend of my knees#this is like. the worst thing on the planet fvhsdhc#but it's okay .....#i like water water is cool!! but also come On dude hfvsh#//also i got earbuds for the first time in... years actually lol#so i'm trying to remember how to use them comfortable hfsfvh#i miss my noise-canceling headphones.. auhhhhhhh.........#they were super cool and the only reason i stopped using them was because the cushion fell off of one (still used it though (painful (i put#a sock over it Lmao))) and then the wire eventually severed itself :/#like i had those since i was 13 and i had to get them replaced i think 2 years ago#the replacements since have been. okay hfshcdh#idk maybe i just blasted my ears out or maybe i'm just putting a rosy film over some memories or maybe i'm RIGHT but i'm pretty sure the#sound quality on every one after that has been kind of worse lol#/tho you know what these earbuds aren't too bad from the perspective of the headphones i've been using#like i have the volume on 4 and it's a nice mid-volume and Clear#with those chunky headphones (and i mean Chunkyyyyyy headphones) i had to put them on 20 to get any good sound + you could Hear It from lik#2-3 feet away fvshdc#these are silent...... hecka nice..............#//anyway it's not spooky season but it feels like it lol#merry christmas happy holidays!! hope these following days treat you kindly :)
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theflyingfeeling · 1 year
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aaaarrghghgh 😭
#overthinking hurts my head how am i supposed to sleep tonight#why am i so stupid so stupid so stupid#when BC said PANIC PANIC PANIC i felt that lol#yes this is about the job situation again (see my post from yesterday)#i'm fairly hopeful that'll resolve itself when i call them and ask for another opportunity tomorrow morning#(my mom helped me come up with a convincing enough story about why i cancelled the interview lol)#but i'm so scared of my employement agency contact person hearing about this#in the best case scenario i could handle it by telling her i had to cancel due to personal reasons...#...but was lucky enough to get a new interview#and i feel i should contact her first before she notices they have opened that position for applications again#(she knows i applied for it so IF she notices this she might wonder WHY they have re-opened it#because if there's been qualified applicants (=me) they wouldn't have to do that)#in any case i'm so so scared she'll call the place and ask them if i really did apply and if i really do have an upcoming interview#if i do get another opportunity it's not gonna be a problem i hope (unless they tell her why i said i cancelled it#because in that case i'd probably have to actually tell the employment agency person the REAL reason why i cancelled)#in addition i'm scared of what it might look like to the people i'm hoping will hire me if someone from the employment agency calls them#to make sure their customer hasn't lied about applying and agreeing on an interview?!#that's gonna make me look sooooooo good lmao#to conclude. i'm screwed and a fucking idiot byeeee#(this is complicated i know sorry lol)
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sydmarch · 1 year
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me when my pt called me about missing my appointment today & I told them I had called last week to cancel:
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cloneboywonder · 1 year
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#I gave my mommy a bartskull for her car and she hung it up right away :3#my student cancelled so I didn’t go hang out so I just went right to my moms and we went to Starbucks and to a couple stores#and then we went home and planned costume stuff#and I wanted a hair cut so bad and the only appointment they had was like IMMEDIATELY so we left and then me and my mom both got one#we look so good I love her#and then we went and got lunch w her husband my buddy and then I hung out w Andy and we watched law and order I love barba I love making#like ytp sounds when he comes on screen and andy repeats them I love goofer to goofer interactions#and my mom was tired so she went to sleep while we watched and then when she got up we started costume stuff for real#we have like 3 of the pieces half done but we need to go get a special foot for the sewing machine or something#idk she’s the genius I’m just there#me and Lydia are gonna look so so so insane at the Boston concert I’m so excited#I need to make a bunch more bracelets I want to just give them away again#and it stormed super bad on the way home I was worried my car was going to get struck by lighting and I was scared I was going to crash#and I was crying so then I was more worried I was going to crash but I was fine and also I got gas I hate pouring gas they need ppl that#like pump it for you bc I don’t want to anymore#ough tk mom is waking up so early and I told her to call me so I will also get up early bc I need to most time possible to costume work#bc I have to be on a plane in like 6 days lol WITH THAT COSTUME in my suitcase#ough okay I love personal diary posting my apologies#my posts#byeeee byebye :-)
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vulpiximisa · 1 year
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Dunno if i should preface that i am a cis female so whatever i say i guess doesnt have a lot of weight but whatever, this is my rant
Saw someone on twitter getting mad at Adult Rin and Saki designs sayin that the most “GNC” girls are now “conforming” to being more feminine as they grow up. My argument is that having short hair and being into sports doesn’t mean theyre throwing away their femininity. If anything Rin is Super Feminine. She’s sensitive to romantic feelings (pure hearted maiden), very nurturing (to her younger siblings and Nozomi), finds no problem working at her family’s flower store and goes into designing jewelry as her career. 
It’s not like Rin is adverse to wearing skirts, her main outfit in GoGo is a skirt. Same with Saki, the short hair sporty girl, her main casual outfit contains a skirt, while Mai wears pants. 
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For me, I saw these girls as, well, girls, who just enjoy different things, and it wasn’t like they were challenging their femininity or anything.
Akira is a different bag of worms. There’s no explanation why she dresses so neutrally, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t remember if she ever vehemently identifies herself or if she ever disliked being mistaken for a boy, but I mainly remember her asking why she was put in the boy’s kimono while they were at the tea ceremony. Maybe it was just that she was being left out/treated different that she complained, but I saw it that she wasn’t throwing away her femininity either. Maybe she's more gender fluid, maybe she just wants to wear what she wants.
Her timeskip look has her have a little ponytail. Growing your hair out doesn't make your more feminine, guys have long hair too.
ANYWAY, Gender is A Mistake and should be eradicated.
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