#so i can't tell if it's my gender that's fluid or my dysphoria or both

[synonymroll648]

oooh genderfluidity?

yeah i went to prom and i did makeup which i'd loved the day before when practicing for the real thing, but when i did it i looked in the mirror and felt super dysphoric and washed it off as soon as my partner i wanted to impress saw it.

and then i was like 'hey babe what are the signs of being genderfluid' and they were like 'well i judge it by liking my boobs one day and wanting to rip them off the other' and i was like 'ohhhhh shit you were right back in january when i cut my hair and told you about it and you said what i was describing was just like your genderfluid awakening weren't you-'.

to which they were basically like 'dude you're only just figuring out you're genderfluid??' and uh. yeah. i'm not sure about being genderfluid yet but it would definitely explain some things

[gay-otlc]

Transmasc Lesbianism

I'm a lesbian. I'm also a straight trans man. This might confuse you, but you may want to consider looking at perspectives of gender and sexuality that differ from your own and don't fit into neat little boxes.

A definition of lesbian that has been gaining popularity in queer spaces is "non men loving non men." This was meant to be inclusive for nonbinary lesbians, as an alternative to "women loving women." However, the phrase is very flawed. I've spoken about this elsewhere, but the main points are

It categorizes all nonbinary people alongside women. In this context, "non-men" comes off as "women or nonbinary people who are basically women." Not all nonbinary people, even if they're non-men will feel comfortable being labeled as a lesbian, since the term has feminine connotations and can cause dysphoria. It's unfair to put them in this box just because they're not a man.

Attraction is complex and cannot be divided into "attracted to men" and "not attracted to men." This disregards people who use the split attraction model (different romantic and sexual orientations), people who experience alterous attraction, people with fluid sexualities, and more.

Gender is complex and cannot be divided into "male" and "all genders that are not male." The identity most blatantly erased by this is multigender identities- people with multiple genders can be both male and a gender that is not male. There are also genderfluid people who are sometimes male, demigender people who are partially male, or nonbinary people who don't identify as male but may refer to themselves with masculine terms such as boy or man anyway.

The focus of lesbianism should not be excluding men. Mindsets like this are echoing TERF rhetoric that seeks to exclude transfeminine lesbians because TERFs wrongly consider them to be men. And it's annoying to make our identity about men or lack thereof, when we don't need to be talking about men at all- our community is about our shared attraction for women, because women are great!

Awesome, we've got that out of the way. If you're still reading this and going "but you can't be a trans man and a lesbian, lesbian means non men loving non men!!!!!", then I don't know what to tell you. Read the list again? Go through the other posts linked? Maybe log off tumblr?

If you read all that and you're willing to accept that not all lesbians will fit into "non men loving non men," and you don't understand but you're open to learn, read on! By the end you might still not understand, but you don't need to understand me to respect me.

For some context, here is a description of my gender and sexuality.

Gender: I'm a bigender trans man. To put it as simply as I can, my gender is primarily male, but I also have some of the female gender. I'm comfortable being seen as solely a man or both a man and a woman, but not solely a woman.

Sexuality: I'm sexually attracted to women almost exclusively. As mentioned at the beginning of the post, I describe myself as a lesbian (or gay, sapphic, etc). I also describe myself as a straight man (or straight transmasc, transhet, etc).

How can I be both?

That's where my multigender identity comes into play. I'm a man and a woman. I'm attracted to women. This makes me both a man attracted to women and a woman attracted to women; a straight man and a lesbian.

Like I said earlier, male is my primary gender and being female is more secondary. So, I'm primarily a man attracted to women, and to a lesser extent a woman attracted to women. Internally, I perceive myself as more of a straight man than a lesbian. I get a lot of gender euphoria from calling myself a straight man, and the feminine connotations of lesbian can sometimes make me uncomfortable.

So, why do I still identify as a lesbian?

Although I consider myself and my attraction to be mostly transhet, that's not really how I interact with the world around me. I'm out as bigender to some people, but I'm also closeted in many contexts, and I don't pass very well even where I am out. This means I navigate my life as someone generally perceived as a woman, who is attracted to women. Even if I don't always consider myself to fit fully with lesbianism, a majority of people will interpret me that way when they find out I'm attracted to women.

Lesbianism is a label I found my home in, for many years, and it still means a lot to me. I spent a long time defining myself as a lesbian and existing in our community, and it's a significant part of my identity.

The way I experienced my attraction growing up was a lesbian experience, not a straight experience. I consider myself a straight man now, but I didn't grow up interacting with the world as a heterosexual child. I was expected to have crushes on boys and was mocked for not fitting into that. I was called a lesbian in a derogatory way when I was ten, and I found power in reclaiming that. When I realized I was attracted to women, I spent years feeling like a freak for it until lesbians communities helped me to be proud. Lesbian is the label that most accurately describes my history and my experience as a young queer.

Also, although the label lesbian sometimes causes dysphoria, I sometimes get euphoria from referring to myself or being referred to as a lesbian. I especially get euphoria from being a butch lesbian. I take so much joy from my butch identity. And while referring to myself as lesbian in a joking manner, with phrases like "I'm so gay for her" or "not to be a lesbian but oh my god," might not count as gender euphoria, saying them makes me happy, and that's enough for me.

So, why do I identify as a man? Because I am one.

Why do I identify as a lesbian? Because it describes my past experience and the way I interact with the world as someone perceived as a woman. Because it's important to me. Because I want to.

Why do I use these labels that contradict each other? Because these are the labels that are right for me, and I have every right to have a confusing identity.

Thank you for your time.

[v-anrouge]

why do you hate transfem vil so much? can't you just like separate the art from the headcannons and enjoy it without thinking about it. I don't really have any headcannons but I think transfem vil is just as valid as transmac or nb or gender fluid vil (maybe it's just because I don't have any strong headcannons but idk I think all versions of a character are okay)

ill try to be as nice as possible wording this but im bad at wording things so my apologies if this still comes out aggressive sounding or something

transfem vil is a harmful hc. that's it, there's no going around it there's nothing to defend it because transfem/woman vil isn't like the the other transfem hcs for twst, his was created solely because people saw vil; a man, who acts and dresses in a "feminine way" and went "yeah okay that's a woman!" and they just kept pushing and pushing it. see from here there's nothing too bad you might think (personally; i still dislike hcs like this, but it's not like how i dislike transfem vil) the problem here lies because vil is anti gender roles, he's mentioned that himself countless times and has even gotten angry when gender roles where pushed by any character in-game, the transfem vil hc is taking a character that breaks gender roles and pushing him back into them. idk if u rlly know about the struggles of gnc trans people but ill tell u bestie it's BAD. we're constantly excluded and even harassed by members from our own community because gender roles have been pushed so deeply into their minds they can't process the fact a trans man, might want to present fem, or that a trans woman, might want to present masc. and for that, for the simple way of how we express ourselves we are constantly belittled and have our experiences as trans people invalidated, (by both cis and other trans people) a character like vil is important representation to the gnc community, both cis and trans, but since we're talking about the trans community ill be focusing on it. both transmascs and transfems have talked about their dislike to the hc and ive met more than 5 ppl say that an hc like this causes them dysphoria because it's taking away the little rep we get all for the sake of what?? pushing gender roles once again.

for more personal reasons; this hc brings me TERRIBLE dysphoria and anxiety and the people ive seen that have it have been extremely toxic and most of the time also fetishizing towards trans people which makes me extremely uncomfortable, i dislike the hc, i dislike the community around that hc and considering ive gotten harassed and even called the t slur by some ppl that have it id say that i have more than a few rights to complain about it

[charmixpower]

Other queer headcanons:

Icy -> Asexual Lesbian

She just has ace vibes to me. Darcy's whole manipulation thing by attraction is so useful but also she does not understand how it works even a little bit

Darcy -> Bisexual

She has a preference for men but it's not super strong. Shes always knew she was bisexual, baby Darcy was always aware. Smart girl hours

Stormy -> Aromatic Het

Stormy is so aromantic to me!!!! She has that aroallo energy of being hot, idk what to tell you. I literally could never see Stormy in a romantic relationship, like she'd have a platonic life partner but dating isn't real.

Sky -> Questioning (Bi pref women)

Brandon has once 100% offered to kiss Sky to see if he's bi, bc he had a crush on him and Sky still didn't realize he was bi. Like Eraklyon palace is not the place to try and question your sexuality and being attracted to people who could turn out to be spy's or he had a fuck ton of explicit power over was scary so he never figured out his sexuality until like s2~3

Brandon -> Gender Neutral, Pan, Poly

Brandon doesn't have a gender. He's completely gender neutral. Like he doesn't experience gender. He doesn't get gender euphoria or dysphoria. If he suddenly turned into a girl literally nothing would happen. He just doesn't experience gender, no gender here, godbless. He'd probably say Gender Neutral but there's other words for that

He's pan bc when he goes into the smooch competition with Stella, no one is off limits. Like I said with Stella, if they met someone they both wanted to date asking them out is a done deal

Timmy -> Gay Ace

This is just 100% vibes. Tecna is busy not dating him and Timmy needs something nice for himself. He just has the ace "I'm tired of you allos acting stupid as shit" energy in my thing, and he's gay bc he deserves nice things

Riven -> Bisexual

He's bi with a preference for women, and he would of known sooner but he was so far into the fucking closet that he had become one with the clothes. Musa helps him come out of the closet and they talk about hot people together I love them

Helia -> Alterous Transman

Alterous attraction is basically just attraction that isn't platonic or romantic vs aesthetic or sexual. It can be between them or be a secret third thing (like it is for me). Helia's alterous attraction is between platonic and romantic, and between aesthetic and sexual, everything is really fuzzy for him. He doesn't get strong anything but he still gets the feelings and impulse, it's just weak and most of the time he can't tell if it's actually platonic or aesthetic

He's also trans, this is just true. As soon as he learned what a boy and girl was he was telling his parents he was a boy. Like he knew very very early on, and he socially transitioned at a young age. Gender win for Helia

Nabu -> Gay

THIS MAN IS A HOMOSEXUAL!!!!! He and Sky make up the "raised rich and wears shiny ass earrings once they realized being GNC is an option" club, and good for him

Daphne -> Queer (Lesbian)

Daphne was WAY too busy fighting the ancestral witches to ever figure out her sexuality but she was aware of the fact that she wasn't cishet, so she just grabbed a macro label and kept it moving

Mirta -> GenderFluid Lesbian

It came to me in a dream. If she can use fairy and witch magic fluidly in canon what if her gender was fluid in my thing??? I am a fucking genius. Her hair is so non-binary. Haven't decided on pronouns yet, and Mirta just is a lesbian.

Diaspro -> Questioning (Pan)

Diaspro absolutely didn't have a single crush growing up in Eraklyon bc everyone there was a asshole and hatred her and she hated them back more. She was kinda punched in the face by her attraction to Bloom. She figures it out as soon as she leaves and talks to some normal people for like a month or something in s2 or s3

Roxy -> Agender AroAce

Roxy reminds me of my bestie who is agender, so they're agender, and I think it's funny if Roxy was watching the Winx do their relationship nonsense abt to throw up bc ew allo people. They are very repulsed, and I love them. They are literally a teenager trying to be cool and not understanding why everyone is dating or doing this gender shit. Triple A battery

Selina -> Trans Lesbian

Look at Selina's fucking ugly green hair and outfit, that is a trans lesbian if I've ever seen one

Krystal -> Bisexual

She just is, I can't explain. It's the Flora

[beta-lactam-allergic]

I find it stupid that there are arguments within the trans community to the point that we have insults like "truscum" & "tucute" inside the community.

I'm a binary transwoman & I don't get why any other binary transperson would pick on non-binary (NB) or genderfluid people. How is doing that any different from cisgender bigots picking on us? Why would we expect gender identity to be binary when sexuality is a spectrum & when BIOLOGICAL SEX IS ALSO A SPECTRUM. Seriously there are so many intersexed conditions that our binary focused society just ignores or pathologises, it's disgraceful.

I had my surgeries (FFS, trachael shave, breast implants & bottom surgery) because I wanted them but I don't expect all or even most transgender people to have surgeries.

Not everyone wants surgery. Some can fix their dysphoria by social transitioning alone. Others will use hormones without surgery (if AMAB usually also use body & facial hair removal methods like laser or electrolysis). I don't see how only needing this is any less than valid than me needing & getting the surgeries to fix it.

Of those who do want surgery, not everyone wants the full works.

Some AFAB (whether Non-binary, gender fluid or binary trans-male) only want top surgery not bottom surgery as their dysphoria is connected to their breasts. If that's all they want, than I don't see the issue.

Some AMAB (whether NB, gender-fluid or binary trans-woman) only want FFS & a trachael shave. I don't see the issue here either, tucking works perfectly well if the dysphoria isn't connected to having a dick (mine was) & all you need to do is pass. As for breasts, some people win the genetic lottery & grow C cups or D cups on hormones alone. Some are satisfied with breast forms. I was unfortunate enough to not be satisfied with breast forms & to want a B-cup whilst only having an A-cup because my genetics means that I can stuff my face with food & do no exercise without gaining much weight, which means minimal fat to redistribute.

Some people are scared of the risks of surgery. That's fine, bottom surgery is dangerous, so is FFS for that matter. I went into both knowing that, knowing the ways I could either die or be permanently impacted by a failed surgery. The surgeon I had for bottom surgery asked me if I was aware of the risks before agreeing to schedule an operation date. I'm pretty sure that if I didn't know the risks, he would've said no.

Even though my dysphoria was bad enough that I was willing to take the risk, & that risk paid off for me (I'm happy with my results & had no complications), I understand fully why some people just wouldn't take the risk. It doesn't make them less trans, it just means they prioritise decreased physical risk over increased mental comfort in their bodies.

And than many people who want surgery can't afford it. I only could because my parents allowed me to live under their roof rent free whilst I saved up for my surgeries.

To discriminate against those who can't afford it is too discriminate against our most needy, those either born to families too poor to help them or to bigoted families that kicked them out onto the streets for daring to be themselves. For someone who can afford what I got to tell those who can't afford it that they shouldn't have our support is class-based discrimination for its only an accident of birth separating us from them.

The bigots are coming for all of our heads. Gatekeeping & infighting just makes us weaker.

It doesn't matter if you are FTM, MTF, NB or fluid, if you are post-op, pre-op or non-op. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor. If you are white, black, Asian or MENA. None of this will make the bigots decide to spare you. The bigots want all of us, anyone who isn't cis, cleansed from the Earth the same way Hitler wanted a world without Jews.

The bigots won't stop until we are all dead, either by their hands or by suicide. We need to unite together amongst ourselves & with the cis allies we have or could have (& if you're in the Anglosphere, polls suggest there are more potential allies than there are bigots, even in places where the bigots currently hold the levers of power like the UK & the US South). That's how we weather this storm, that's how we win.

[charcubed]

Hello, "gay Castiel" anon here 👋

Thanks for taking the time to respond ❤️ I appreciate your thoughts.

I just want to respond and give my own thoughts now that I've read your response. Sorry that's it's so long, and feel free to ignore. I just want to get this out to somebody lol. I won't address EVERYTHING, just the highlights:

Your response did help me understand the gay!Cas interpretation more, esp since you are right about there being so many instances in canon of him being specifically gay coded.

However, and I hope this doesn't sound demeaning in any way, but I think the reason I don't prefer the label "gay" for Cas is cuz it feels too limiting.

Gay (as I understand it) is a person who identifies as male who is sexually/romantically interested in other men. So...

1) I don't necessarily accept that Cas identifies strictly as "male." I agree that he's comfortable in his male body, as you stated, and I know that the story of Dean&Cas wouldn't have played out the way it did if he hadn't taken a male vessel. But all that aside, I think Cas' attitude towards gender is probably very fluid compared to our society's typical binary. Compared to humans, his species and gender is Other™.

I personally prefer this idea cuz I relate to it more. I have a female body that I'm perfectly happy with, and I don't mind ppl seeing me that way; I don't have dysphoria. But at the same time, I don't have a strong feeling of "I AM a woman" if that makes sense. If I woke up as a man tomorrow, I'd be fine with that. I see Cas in a similar way: He likes his body and is attached to it, but he doesn't necessarily feel that it being male is essential to who he is or his identity.

I feel that while Cas is in a male body and is happy with it, his gender identity most likely exists outside of the human binary construct. Automatically, this makes him more umbrella "queer" to me rather than gay.

2) And also, as I said in my earlier ask, I think Cas' sexuality is just: in love with Dean. There are moments in the show that COULD be interpreted as feeling arousal or attraction to women, imo. But I don't see any moments that would suggest he's attracted to men other than Dean.

So to me, this suggests he is demi (for Dean, specifically) rather than blanket gay.

I understand the gay coding (like "sensible shoes," for instance) are about being gay specifically. But I also think those tropes have traditionally been applied to human male characters. Since Cas is not human (does not have our human standards for gender), not a typical "male" (nonbinary, imo), and not seemingly attracted to men in general (just Dean), those moments just reinforce that Cas is queer – "gay" is just too narrow a definition to encompass all that he is (imo!)

Anyway. Those are my thoughts. This is all my personal interpretation, and I am NOT saying ppl have to agree with this!! But I have decided (with your help, thanks) that people can't tell me I'm wrong either 😊 based on what canon supports, it's totally fine to NOT label Cas as "gay."

Thanks again for your thoughts. I love your meta and shit ✌️

(Anon is referencing this post with their previous ask and my long answer)

Hi gay Castiel anon!! Thank you for returning to meeee :') Really happy to know my answer made its way to you!

And thank you for sharing your thoughts!!! I honestly don't disagree with any of this. I do think all your points are fairly valid so I just want to reiterate that. And as I said in my post I certainly think "queer" can be and is applicable to Cas both for the reasons I had laid out and for the fact that there is very much room to see complexities in his queerness because he's an angel–as you've laid out here.

As a non-binary person myself I also totally get the vibe of what you're discussing. I want to add a side note that in the "real life," as it were, there are plenty of non-binary people who do align with the label of "gay" even without identifying as a man or a woman. It's not inherently limited by binary gender. (I say this as a reminder more for the benefit of anyone who may read this public post rather than to you, because I'm sure you know.) But does that mean Cas would align with it as a word/label? Not necessarily, obviously, in the reasons and ways you've described.

Glad you feel more certain in not being "wrong" and I'm really happy my post helped you come to that certainty 💕

Thanks again for sharing!

[willsimpforanyone]

Hi!!! If your requests are open (I thought it said it was but if not feel free to ignore <3) can I request a poly nico x will x reader? Something with a first time with them (like reader joined the relationship later?) but the reader is insecure about their body? Like reader is gender fluid but afab?

If not that’s fine!!! Have a nice day :)

omg a poly request i've never done this before i hope i do okay - if it's alright i'm not gonna do smut for this just yet as that needs some research i think but i can do the soft aftercare bit?

reader uses they/them pronouns but is genderfluid

just a warning, this does mention some dysphoria and insecurities about a body so proceed with caution

-------------------------------

My breathing was heavy and my heartbeat was pounding as I lay curled next to Will, hand in hand with Nico who lay on his other side. It was too warm for the sheets to be on me and I half-heartedly kicked them off, wriggling slightly pathetically as I tried to cool down.

Will made a small 'mmm?' noise next to me. "You okay, love?"

I made a vague 'yes' noise, too tired to form actual words just yet.

Nico huffed and dragged himself into a sitting position, giving a tiny smile at the half-formed protests from both me and Will. "Shut up, both of you, someone has to be responsible." He was right, but that didn't mean we had to like it.

In response, I curled around Will tighter and his arm that had been holding Nico came to rest on my back. "I can't believe you'd leave us like this." He whined into my hair, recieving a playful slap from Nico.

"Dramatic gays, both of you." He muttered as he wobbled to the bathroom.

For some reason, my heart dropped. I was suddenly uncomfortably aware that I lacked clothing and that I possessed a body with tits. The sheets were much more appealing now.

Clearly I'd stiffened up, as Will's hand began smoothing up and down my spine. "What just happened in that pretty little head of yours?"

I tried to hide the wince at 'pretty', but he caught it.

"Okay, let me try again. What's going on right now in your head, baby?"

Sighing, I resigned myself to my fate. With Nico, he tended to let me come to him with issues like this and didn't press. Will was very different, he wanted to know any issue so he could help- my emotional bandage, I called him sometimes- and he would bug me until I convinced him I was fine or I relented.

"...it's nothing, I mean, it should be nothing..." I cursed myself internally. I didn't need to downplay this, I trusted him, I loved him, I just needed to actually tell him.

To his credit, Will waited until I took a deep breath, in and out. "Okay, look, it's just- sometimes I forget what kind of body I have and it can just be a little thing that makes me think too much about it and I start to questions everything."

"What kind of questions?" Will poked me gently in the side. "And before you say 'it's nothing' or 'it's stupid', I'm gonna tell you that nothing is too small to tell me, I'm not going to laugh or judge you, alright?" He paused for a second. "Nico might judge you but that's only because that's how he shows his love."

That got a small laugh and Will grinned in triumph. I nodded slightly and sighed. "Fine, fine, it's just that... ugh, okay, because of my body sometimes I feel like I'm not gay enough? Or not... Like, you're bi, so you'd like me regardless of gender, right?" Will nodded. "Right, but Nico is gay, so sometimes I feel like maybe because I'm AFAB that I'm not... enough?"

Will looked serious. "Okay, well, I can't say either me or Nico have experienced this so I'm not sure how to help, but what I can tell you is that this line of thinking? It's kind of ridiculous."

I laughed and hit him gently. "It's not ridiculous! And you said you wouldn't judge!"

"Okay, I'm judging a little bit, but only because your head is telling you lies." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You really think Nico would be in a relationship he didn't want to be in? You're underestimating that man's ruthlessness, if he didn't like you or didn't think you were enough he simply wouldn't be with you. In fact-" Will leaned away, facing toward the bathroom. "Nico, come here for a sec!"

Obediently, Nico shuffled out the bathroom in his underwear and a towel. "Hm? What do you want?"

"Our partner is doubting themself, they think they're not gay enough for this relationship. Would you please prove them wrong?"

Nico rolled his eyes, but had a small, affectionate smile on his lips. "Alright, shift over, babe, I need to get to them."

Will gave me one last kiss and wriggled away. Nico clambered rather inelegantly over him and came to land on me, legs either side of my hips and hands planted firmly by my head.

"Pronouns?" He asked, eyes boring into mine.

"Uh, they/them, I think?" I whispered, pleasantly overwhelmed at my current situation.

Nico's face split into a smirk, black hair framing his face attractively. "Well hey there, lovely thing."

Before I could respond he swooped down, lips pressing firmly against mine. My eyelids snapped shut and for a moment my head went completely blank. The kiss was almost filthy, tongue against tongue and my hands squeezed at his thighs instinctively.

He pulled back, grinning as I made to follow him upwards before catching myself. We were panting slightly.

"That gay enough for you?"

I swallowed. "I don't know, we might need to try again."

-----------------------------------

i hope i did okay, thank you for requesting, love!

[i-lionheart]

Here for You | Loki x Reader fluff

"There are moments that the words don't reach. There's a grace too powerful to name. We push away what we can never understand; we push away the unimaginable." -Hamilton, "It's Quiet Uptown"

After an emotional night, Loki's partner leaves her Avengers Tower apartment, showing up in need of comfort at Loki's door.

before you read: loki x reader, 1.5k words, reader is afab nonbinary, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, partial nudity (non-sexual), cuddling/spooning, discussion of gender dysphoria, period mention, body dysphoria, discussion of depression, suicidal thoughts, and self harm.

tw: gender dysphoria, period mention, partial nudity (non-sexual), depression mention, suicidal thoughts, self harm mention. @ me if there's anything I forgot.

You padded down the hallway, clutching the stuffed animal and baby blanket that had protected you from your demons since you were a child. Since your apartments were right next to each other, it was only a short distance to Loki's door; when you reached it, you knocked quickly and stood there, anxiously chewing your the inside of your cheek as you waited.

You heard his heavy footsteps crossing the apartment. Though his voice was muffled by the door separating the two of you, the annoyance was unmistakable. "Thor, I told you, I'm-"

He opened the door. His words cut off abruptly as he realized that it wasn't, in fact, his older brother bothering him in the middle of the night. His heart and facial expression melted as he looked you up and down, taking in your disheveled appearance. You stared back at him nervously, unable to verbally express what you needed from him now that he was actually standing in front of you.

Luckily, you didn't have to.

In a heartbeat, Loki had crossed the threshold of his apartment, pulling you into a tight embrace. He pressed your head to his chest and you melted into him, the tears that had escaped you all night finally beginning to flow. "It's all right, darling," he murmured. "It's all right. I'm here now. It's all right."

The two of you stood there for a moment that felt like an eternity, your entire world reduced to the feeling of being in each others' arms, Loki caressing you and whispering soft reassurances. Once the waterfall of your tears had slowed to a mere trickle, Loki said, "All right. You're coming inside." He bent down and hooked one arm under your knees, lifting you into his arms as easily as if you were a child. You squeaked in surprise and buried your head in his chest, eliciting a small chuckle from the trickster god as he carried you into his apartment and eased the door shut behind you. He didn't put you down until the two of you were in his bedroom, when he pulled back the soft covers of his king-size bed and set you gently on the gold satin sheets. He climbed in beside you and pulled the covers up around you both, once again pulling you to his chest.

"You don't have to tell me what's going on," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "But if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen."

"It's my stupid period," you grumbled into his chest.

"What?" he said. "I thought you haven't had one for months now - didn't Strange get that sorted?"

"Yeah, but the hormones are still a fucking roller coaster."

"You mortals and your pesky bodies," he muttered into your hair. You couldn't help but giggle, despite your sadness. "What is it doing to you this time, darling?'

"Gender," you grumbled. "I'm fine with my body. I like my body. Or at least, most of the time I do, and then my hormones go insane and I hate it."

"Wishing you were a shapeshifter again, hmm?" Loki said. You nodded. "If I could give up my powers to you I'd do it in a heartbeat, dearest." You chuckled, in spite of yourself. "Thanks, babe."

"No problem," he replied. The two of you lay in comfortable silence for a moment, glad to just be in each other's presence. He caressed you gently - your hair, your arms, your back - then paused in confusion when he felt a seam under your shirt. He had never known you to wear a bra under your pajamas, especially given how much you hated to wear them during the day.

"Darling?" he asked, cautiously.

"Hmm?"

"Are you binding right now?"

"Yeah, but it's fine, I-"

"No, it's not," he cut you off sternly. "You know you're not supposed to. It's unsafe."

"Since when do you care about safety?"

"Since you tried to sleep in a binder. Sit up. It's coming off."

"Loki, really-"

"Now. You could do with some skin to skin anyways." His tone left no room for argument. Grudgingly, you pushed yourself into a sitting position, as did he.

"Arms up," he commanded. You rolled your eyes and did as he said, feeling like a toddler who needed their parents' help to get dressed. He lifted your shirt and gently pulled it over your head, then gathered it into a ball and tossed it on his floor. He removed your binder equally gently, careful not let the elastic snap or pinch, and tossed it on the floor on top of your shirt.

"Satisfied?" you said sarcastically.

"Not quite yet." He grasped the collar of the black t-shirt he was wearing and pulled it over his head in one fluid motion, adding it to the pile of clothing on his floor.

Though you had seen it a thousand times, you took in the sight of his chest, drinking in every inch of his skin. He caught your eye as you stared at him, and grinned. You blushed. "See something you like, pet?" he teased.

"Oh, shut up," you retorted as the two of you laid back down, snuggling into him again. He was right - the feeling of his skin, his strong arms wrapped around you, was incredibly soothing.

"I needed this," you murmured.

"I know."

A pause.

"I hate this body so much, sometimes. Like, I'm mostly okay with it, even proud of it, and then..."

You trailed off. He stroked your hair, whispering into it. "Take your time, love, it's all right."

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts, and continued shakily. "It's just... sometimes, I look in the mirror, and I look at my face, and I feel so happy - my reflection matches who I am, I look like myself - and then I see my body and I remember and I just..." You swallowed thickly, fighting back tears. "I just want to die, sometimes. I wish I didn't have to exist and face every day in a body that's not mine, I want to hurt it, scar it, make it bleed. Anything to show that it doesn't belong to me, to make it pay. I hate it. And I know I shouldn't hurt myself, I know I gave that up a long time ago, but that urge never leaves. I hate it, I hate it so much. I know it's not right, but that voice never goes away, it just gets quiet enough to ignore until the next time something triggers it and I have to fight it again. It never stops, Loki. Never." Your tears were flowing freely now. You took a shuddering breath. "I'm just so, so tired of always fighting. I want peace. But I don't think I'll ever have it."

"Oh, pet." he said softly. "How long were you feeling like this before you came to get me?"

"Hours," you admitted, feeling small.

"Oh, darling," he said. You heard the pain in his voice, and knew that what he really meant was I'm sorry.

"It's going to be okay," he said, voice ever so tender, tracing wandering patterns on your skin. "I know it's hard, but you are strong. You are a fighter, and you will make it through this. I promise you. And I will do everything I can to help."

"Really?"

"Really, dearest. You never have to face this alone again. I'm right by your side. In fact, this settles it. You're moving in with me. Tomorrow."

"What?" You pulled away from him, startled, and looked up to see dead seriousness on his face.

"What about it, pet? You practically live here already."

"Loki, the others can barely accept the fact that we're together. We can't move in together. Tony will have a heart attack."

Loki grinned wickedly. "Good."

You slapped his arm playfully, scolding him. "No, it's not good. If Tony had a heart attack, the arc reactor would probably flatten half of Manhattan." He chuckled appreciatively. "Why's it so pressing for me to move in, anyway? Most days you hardly spend a second without me."

He paused, giving you a long, searching look. "Isn't it obvious?

"No." You looked away, avoiding the discomfort of his scrutiny.

"Look at me." You didn't move. He reached out and cupped your face in his large hand, lifting your chin. "Look at me, dearest," he repeated, softer this time. You tore your eyes away from the empty space you had fixed them on and looked at him, afraid of what you'd see. He looked back at you tenderly, eyes full of compassion and the thing you had been most afraid of seeing.

Love. His eyes were full of love.

"You spent an unnecessarily long time tonight fighting this alone, because I wasn't with you. I wasn't there to help you when you needed me." He stroked your cheek with his thumb, voice tight with emotion. "I cannot let that happen again."

"Loki," you breathed. "You care that much?"

"Oh, darling, of course I do," he said. "Of course I do. And I promise that you will never have to face these thoughts alone again."

if you enjoyed this fic, please consider reblogging so this work can find other people who might enjoy it!

[celestialmango]

.....this has nothing to do with vore but it's something I wanted to get off my chest all the same, first of you'll need to know the fact I'm gender-fluid for this short thing, I then to shift between male, female, something in the middle and absolutely no gender at all and previous had a binder on for those days when I had dysphoria. I say previously because someone had added it to the wash despite me telling them it had to be hand washed due to some heat sensitivity material in it and then part of it melted together, still can't really afford a new one.

So back when I had a binder I was also in college for a little while, and unfortunately for me I have a big chest, so on one of those days I had been feeling like I shouldn't have boobs I put the binder on, when I first wore it after I got it it was like something clicked to to place and I was so happy, but then I wore it to class one day, and I got called a girl when I didn't feel like a girl at all, and it hurt, I felt like the binder didn't even work so I didn't wear it for a long while.

Unfortunately just when I started thinking about wearing it again, well, melted as I said. Don't have a choice but to deal with the fat sacks on my chest anymore and it will be a long while before I'm able to get another as my measurements keep fluctuating thanks to my efforts to lose some weight to better my health and bring me closer to the mental image I feel I should look like..

Later on my narcissistic, manipulative, and caused me a lot of childhood trauma hag of a grandmother moved in for a little while, and just when my parents were getting used to the name I had chosen for myself, while my pops still used it, my mum, who was trying hard to get used to it, got conditioned by the hag to use my dead name. You may now realize I have never put my pronouns in my blog description. I did that on purpose.

Why? Because people usually default to he/she/they pronouns and they're all correct for me so it doesn't matter if I do or not, makes me smile when people call me he, I feel elated when people call me they, I'm okay with she because sometimes it's right and I'm used to it. I would always dress for what gender I felt to try and give people a clear image of how I felt when I'd shift I would always wear pants and graphic t-shirts when I felt he, wear nice shirts and skirts when I felt she, and a mix of both when I felt like a they (hoodies were just worn when I felt like wearing a hoodie because I like them)

I always thought it was a pretty clear sign, especially after I got the binder, but I guess it wasn't or the person who did it didn't care for my feelings on the matter.

Also new thought, gender-fluid people are just shape-shifters who can only switch genders and can't become anything cool, like a mystical creature or something, like a dragon for example, I myself have always wanted wings and a tail, didn't care what type of wings and the as for the tail thing, just a fluffy one, because of my sensory issues and how that texture is soothing.

[canon-notcanon-warriorcats]

Im gonna come to you for this because you're honestly like an idol to me (Im sure you hate to hear that lmao) and I feel like you would understand. You're non-binary right? I can't remember if you spoke about it but you use "they/them" pronouns and Im gonna assume that for the sake of the question. Either way! I've been questioning identifying as something other than cis-gendered. How did you know? And have you told people? What's the difference between relating to and empathizing with a problem

oh my god klsnalksm;lakdns;am i’m so honored thank you, but really i’m no one to idolize i’m an unemployed adult who is stuck in life who makes jokes and shit posts about fictional cats but thank you sidjk;lsz;

sorry this took so long to answer i was too tired and i wanted to think on it for a while so i can answer everything well and be at least hopefully a little organized and my answers/explanations to be legible

also this is getting long so i’m putting the rest of this under the cut wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

Yes! I am (at least partially) non-binary, I’m genderfluid and for me in particular I’m a girl sometimes, both a boy and a girl mixed together, and something in between all at once and at different times depending on who knows what, i’m like when you put soda in a cup and then put all of the different fountain drinks in at varying amounts and you do that each time you go to the restaurant but with different amounts of each soda, but like it’s USUALLY a pepsi base

anyway, it took me a long time to know, or i guess realize that i wasn’t cis because i guess i didn’t know i could? but in hindsight there were a LOT of signs and starting when i was 17 i think i started dipping my toes in different gender identities after i found out about the term “demigirl” and that’s what i kind of stuck with for a while

and then i questioned myself like am i really trans? i’m afab and identify as a demigirl does that really count (yes it does) but anyway after i went to college i was like no i think it’s just because several of my friends were questioning their gender, i’m a girl, and it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i finally FULLY realized “no, my gender is fluid, and i am a girl PLUS somethings between boy and girl and sometimes they all mixed together, sometimes all at once, sometimes individually (though very rarely FULL boy)

some things that i recognize in hindsight were signs (or were just weird foreshadows/coincidences of me being a mix of genders and it’s amusing now) include:

-when i was like 7 or 8 or 9 or something i made an image of what i’d look like as an adult in my head (or just older since in my fantasy i was 13 years old because that was obviously old enough to be a billionaire and own a castle and adopt children and a million animals and be a pokemon master, but i thought of an adult body) and my face was pretty feminine but my body shape was very masculine, flat chest, rectangular body shape, wore men-styled-ish jeans, and thickish arms

-in 7th grade for “some reason” i spent several moments thinking about what would happen if one day i came in as a boy named michael (since that’s kInD oF the “male” or “masculine” version of my name) and if like they’d recognize me or if they’d change my name on the registration or if anyone’d get confused or anything, this was also the year i found out that sex changes were a thing, i think, either 7th grade or 6th grade

-and the big one(s) for like my ENTIRE LIFE, even to this day, i would feel so confused if a girl talked to me like i was another one of the girls, specifically if they would like ask if their shirt tag was poking out and asking me to fix it, or ask if their bra strap could be seen through their shirt, asking me if their hair or clothes looked okay, asking to walk to the bathroom with them, GOING to the girls’ bathroom in general, chaning in the girls’ sometimes even being called a girl entirely, etc. made me feel

weird

like an “i’m not one of you” or “i’m not entirely like you” feeling and i thought that it was just because i’m awkward and shy and anxious that i went into the wrong room and then later oh i’m just gay and then to my realization: “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh that’s why” and “oh, i was anxious i went into the wrong bathroom/changing room, but i also felt like i shouldn’t be in that room anyway because i’m not just a girl or not entirely a girl”

i also have and had a lot of dreams where like i was either a guy, felt almost genderless entirely, or where i would for some reason go into male bathrooms/changing rooms even though i’m not a guy (entirely or mostly)

also i i realized my favorite shirts were the ones that made my boobs look smaller or less existent, my voice would confuse me, either it being too high or low and make me confused uncomfortable because it “didn’t fit” my gender, and sometimes being called a girl or someone saying i looked like a woman made and makes me uncomfortable, and i guess the most nsfw/graphic part of this is that sometimes i fantasize and/or wish i had like

a mix of genitalia and i wish i could change my breast size and upper body shape to be flatter/more rectangular, but it’s mostly the genitalia thing, the body shape changing parts don’t happen ALL the time and not as much, but still sometimes especially if i see someone’s more masculine body and i’m just like “wow i wish that were me”, though being overweight kind of helps in that because my body shape looks more neutral, if i was thin i might have more problems with that

also, especially lately for some reason i get very irritated or uncomfortable if certain people call me a girl or she/her, very certain people i’m okay with calling me a girl and she/her but to people i don’t know well or aren’t super close to i don’t want to be referred to as she/her i don’t want to be perceived as she/her i want to be referred to as they/them

a lot of people have much more intense feelings and it’s more obvious, but they can often times be a lot more subtle and it’s okay if you don’t have INTENSE feelings of dysphoria, there’s also gender euphoria, which i think i, personally, experience more than dysphoria

i like it when people act or refer to me gender neutrally, i like it when my chest looks flatter, i like it when people use they/them for me, i like it when i feel content about knowing that i’m not cis and that i’m a mix of genders, i like thinking of myself as a gender mutt/mix or whatever, it feels GOOD, euphoric

i guess it’s hard to tell if you’re empathizing or relating, and i can’t tell you which one it is since i don’t know the particulars and i don’t know you, but what i DO know, is like 99% of time, if someone has to ask themselves “am i cis?” or “am i straight?” the answer is “no” because cis or straight people almost never even think about it or question their identity and even if the answer DOES end up being “yes, i am cis” then that’s absolutely perfectly completely valid and fine, you figured out who you are and you were in a mindset and in a safe enough space that you could figure it out for yourself and find out more about yourself

and finally, as for the telling people thing, it depends on the situation, i don’t really talk about it in real life, none of my biological family knows because my parents have shown pretty transphobic and nbphobic tendencies and if i told my brother or his fiancee then they’d start treating it like it’s some special thing and basically do that straight people thing where they like overcompensate being happy for you or supporting you or where they start talking about their other friends who aren’t straight or aren’t cis and famous people or characters that aren’t cis or straight and like i can’t deal with that

all of my friends know though, and i’m open about online and i don’t have any significant other(s) to tell but if/when i get in a relationship and on dating apps i’m explicit that i’m non-binary and genderfluid and basically not cis and before i get in a relationship i plan on talking to them about it and being like “hey if you see me as a cis girl this will not work out” they’ll also have to respect my sexuality of course and see me AS bisexual and demiacearo, not straight if i’m dating a guy and not a lesbian if i’m dating a girl, never date someone who doesn’t respect your gender or identity or doesn’t see you as who you are, or won’t let you have some wiggle room to let you figure out who you are, so that’s an extra piece of advice there for ya

i hope that made enough sense! sorry this was long and i might have blabbered on, but i hope at least some of this helps!

[localtransdude]

ngl tucute rhetoric had me mislabeling my dysphoria as being genderfluid for years, all just bc i didn't feel 100% dysphoric 24/7. i got so attached to that label that i repressed dysphoria over being misgendered for so long that i can't even feel emotions right until i'm referred to properly, and then lo and behold i can feel again. but ofc tucutes are arguing that trying to tell questioning kids about 99999 different genders is healthy lmao

exactly, I'm not the most masculine guys so when i was questioning, i called my self nonbinary cause i wasn't extremely masculine, then bigender cause i felt feminine some days, then gender fluid cause i felt masculine and sometimes not even both. had i not learned that gender didn't equate to masculinity and feminity but rather, is this body right, and not seen these 897593472934729834 genders, i probably would have known i was trans a year before i accepted that fact.

[pink-nympho]

confession: I'm going to my hometown next week to see my childhood best friend who I haven't seen since I was in 7th grade (were seniors in highschool now) I'm from rural Illinois and sexuality and all that is still rather controversial in the area and she just told me that she wants to be called they. she cut all her hair and idk it's really stressful and makes me sad I want my best friend back like I just can't bring myself to call her that we literally grew up as girls I just can't do it

anon secret (100/?)

(Please remember it was probably a big thing for your friend to tell you this and probably took a lot of courage so please be supportive of them!!

Heres my attempt at helping you feel less stressed by this by explaining a bit about gender, gender expression and identifying outside the gender binary 😊 heres a link to a handy list of definitions relating to this topic:phttp://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/01/a-comprehensive-list-of-lgbtq-term-definitions/#sthash.wjcavRSF.dpbsronouns

Okay so from what you’ve said it sounds like your friend’s gender expression has changed from feminine to more gender neutral/masculine (this may be why they cut their hair short, as short hair is perceived as masculine it’s an easy and fast way to physically present more masculine.) They’ve also started using gender neutral pronouns (they/them). They/them pronouns are not the only gender neutral pronouns but they are the most commonly used and the ones your friend uses. Gender neutral pronouns are often used by individuals who identify as a non binary gender. I use they/them pronouns because I identify as gender fluid and find using gender neutral pronouns allow me to feel comfortable and valid no matter the gender I feel at time.

Misgendering someone is to refer to them as a gender they’re not, anyone can experience misgendering however it affects some people more than others. When you don’t identify as the gender you were assigned at birth being misgendered can be distressing, especially when misgendered as their assigned gender at birth (as often the person will want to dissociate themself from their assigned gender). Being misgendered by strangers can cause feelings of dysphoria and invalidity relating to not physically passing as the gender one identifies as.Being purposefully misgendered by someone who knows your correct pronouns is extremely hurtful as it not only causes feelings of dysphoria and invalidity but also feeling disrespected, ignored, dismissed and/or alienated by the person misgendering you. Purposely misgendering someone when you know their correct pronouns tells the person you would rather cause them distress then make an effort to use their correct pronouns and to avoid gendered language when referring to them.

Your friend is fundamentally the same person they have always been, your friend has always been who they are but may have only recently found the language to describe it. Keep in mind that you’ve both probably changed quite a bit since you last saw each other, you’ve both grown mentally and physically and have had years of new experiences the other hasn’t. Friendships change as we grow, sometimes for better and sometime for worse but one sure way to ruin a friendship is to hurt them by being intolerant of things they can not change about themself.

Supporting your friend is the best way to maintain your friendship with them. By actively working at better understanding their gender identity through talking to them about it, asking questions and listening as well as doing your own research you can start to build an understanding of your friend’s experiences and see past the stigma that surrounds gender diversity. Having an understanding of your friend’s gender identity can bring you and your friend closer and allow you to better support your friend.By making an effort to use your friend’s correct pronouns you show them that you care about them, respect them as well as value their wellbeing and comfort.It takes time to adjust to using different pronouns for someone but you will get the hang of it if you persist. If you notice you’ve misgendered them simply say sorry and correct yourself by rewording the sentence for example: “that’s her over there-” “sorry, that’s them over there”. Even if they don’t correct you that doesn’t mean you didn’t misgender them or that they didn’t notice, they may be anxious about you get irritated by them correcting you a lot. Please be sympathetic when your friend does correct you a lot and don’t get irritated with them for it.

Please show your friend a willingness to listen and learn when they talk to you about their gender identity and remind them that you care about them no matter what!!

I would recommend checking out the abc’s of lgbt+ by ash hardell (linked below) it goes over a lot of stuff to do with gender and sexuality including a whole video about pronounshttp://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjIGlYSe6iDxaIAsFhQ7eLoYlo35JNAKy

(I have been writing and rewriting this for over 6 hours now so I’m gonna leave it here)