Tumgik
#so i dont know if its happening now sorry everyone
scuttle-buttle · 4 months
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Hey yall,
for those that generally keep up with me I'm sorry I've been a bit MIA the last month, I've had some family emergencies and work things happen and it put me in a poor headspace trying to get through everything. Everyone is okay now and I've been making the moves to try and get myself good too 😊 thanks bbs
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ywpd-translations · 1 year
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Ride 742: Sudden death match!!
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Pag 1
1: Woah, Danchiku, oh-
And Sugimoto-san too!?
2: They passed us so quickly!! Such high pace!!
Huh!?
They're doing some sort of serious race!?
3: I get it
4: I can feel it
5: This guy....!!
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Pag 2
1: He's not giving up at all!!
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Pag 3
3: Earlier, at the line, I thought I had won this race
I thought he was far behind me and would cross the line with his head hanging down
4: And yet....
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Pag 4
1: He caught up to me....!!
2: The preliminary of this race was already done on the “second day”!!
3: That time, the result
5: was a draw!!
6: So it would be better to have a more precise result, wouldn't it
We'll decide it with this lap!! The rules are simple: the starting point line is 4km from here, the one who crosses it first wins!!
7: And then the loser shouldn't “surpass” the winner anymore!! Sugimoto-san!!
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Pag 5
1: Imaizumi-san too!!
2: …. yeah
It's better to make it clear with a proper race like this
3: So you have no regrets....!!
4: Let's go!!
5: Crush him, Danchiku!!
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Pag 6
2: At the same time....!!
Ah.... “at the same time” again!?
3: Seriously!?
Are you being for real, Sadatoki!?
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Pag 7
1: You're just seeing things as you wish they were,since he's your brother!!
Oon!! No that's not it, on!!
It's true, Kaburagi, I saw it too
2: They arrived at the same time, Sugimoto stretched at the last moment
3: Kawada!!
It's “san”!!
4: Are you an accomplice too!!
What are you talkin abut
5: A- amazing, Sugimoto-kun
6: Amazing!!
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Pag 8
1: “Amazing”, huh, Onoda
2: Imaizumi-kun....
Pfui
3: You thought Sugimoto would win? ….This race
Huh
4: You didn't think he would, that's why when we heard the results you could say “amazing”
Ah!!
5: I'm- I'm sorry Sugimoto-kun!! I didn't believe in you, even though you worked so hard....!!
Who are you yelling at
6: Me too
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Pag 9
2: During these past four days.... Sugimoto worked hard, but, after their race on the second day and after seeing how remarkably stronger Danchiku has gotten
3: When they decided to do another race, I thought Sugimoto would definitely lose
4: Then, when the time came
5: If you lose, you feel better if you gave it your all, so
6: “So you have no regrets”
7: I said that
But
8: He turned it around
Sugimoto really is amazing
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Pag 10
1: Even with no one believing in him, with only his own strength, he snatched a “draw” against Danchiku!!
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Pag 11
1: Keep going!! Let's keep going with the race, Danchiku!!
2: Even though he's having such an hard time, he's still following me!!
3: Since earlier I've increased the pace many times
4: Garuaaa
Even if I tear him off
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Pag 12
1: Every time
2: While saying
3: “Kuaa kuaa”
“Kuaa kuaa”
5: Kuaaa-
6: Kuaaaaaaa
He catches up to me
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Pag 13
2: You keep following me....
3: No....
4: You're the one who said “please follow me”, Danchiku
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Pag 14
1: Garuaaa!!
2: Ahhhh
Don't make fun of me, there's no way!!
3: Aaaaaaaa
4: Hiigaruaaaa!!
There's no way I'll lose!!
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Pag 15
1: To Sugimoto-san!!
4: I was careless – I was careless and that's why he caught up to me!! The second time too!!
I won't be careless this time!!
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Pag 16
1: Ill take a plunge firmly, throw my handles, and cross the line
2: At full throttle!!
The last curve!!
3: He's not following me anymore!! He's....
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Pag 17
1: He's here!!
Cough cough
2: Kuaaaa
We're entering the final sprint!!
3: Dammit, this guy is gonna stretch from here!!
4: Hiigaruaaaaa!!
Take a plunge!!
5: Take a plunge!!
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Pag 18
1: Throw your handles!!
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Pag 19
1: Wooooah!!
No... wait, even now....
2: It's a draw!!
Ya!!
On!!
Woah
3: Dammit, what happened, Danchiku what are you doin!!
You should be much stronger..... should....
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Pag 20
1: Don't tell me.... that Sugimoto-san.... is strong too!?
2: You.... you mean it's a draw for the third time!!
How long will they keep going, at this pace it won't ever end!!
3: …. no
5: It's a shame, but there's no time left...
6: This lap is the last
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autisticlee · 13 days
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"good people are out there you just need to get out and find them"
cool thanks. but i'm too tired to keep ~going out and looking for them~ i'm too tired to keep trying, using up all my energy, getting super overwhelmed and burnt out after just a couple weeks of trying as hard as I can, met with other people barely trying back or not being very responsive, and needing to recover from it for a year or more each time because it overwhelms and burns me out so bad. I get nowhere no matter how hard I try, all i get is uselesss advice from people i try to befriend who dont want the responsibility of friending me. i'm tired of trying beyond my limits and causing more issues for myself. or dealing with issues I get from meeting the "wrong" people. if the "right" people exist, why can't they find me? why does it have to be only my job? i'm too tired and overwhelmed and burnt out to do it!!!!! the right people will just easily help and be there for me right? so I guess i just have to keep waiting for them for all eternity????? i'm tired of waiting. give me more than "just wait/keep trying/don't give up" because those instructions unclear and my useless attempts are very discouraging and exhausting and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm losing the ability to even socialize at a minimum at all now!!!!
if humans are meant to be social creatures and we require positive interactions with each other to stay healthy, then why do humans ostracize their own? why do some of us struggle so much and are denied any help and instead blamed? why can't I be given advice on how to live a lonely life without anyone else by my side instead of being told "one day! keep trying! you need people because it's essential to being human!" even though i've been waiting for "one day" for 25 years and could wait 25 more, or even longer? I don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to improve it so waiting is all I have. what if I wait forever?
#ive been trying to find “the right people” for like 25 years. im so tired of hearing “one day/eventually”#i need people now. i admit i need help!!! i cant do life alone!!! but ONE DAY is not NOW. im struggling now. not later#why is it always “keep trying because ONE DAY” and never “heres how to deal with it now and if one day never comes”#because NOT EVERYONE GET THEIR “ONE DAY” AND IT FEELS AWFUL BEING GIVEN EMPTY PROMISES#AND IT FEELS AWFUL BEING IGNORED AND DENIED HELP *NOW* BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO REPLY ON A HYPOTHETICAL “ONE DAY”#IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF IT!!!!!!!!#lee rants#what if the “one day” where people actually care isnt until theyre at my funeral huh? because ive seen it happen.#autistic#autism#actually autistic#social problems#social issues#social isolation#adult autism#adult friendships#autism support#autistic friendship#this has been bothering me. i think its called toxic positivity. people throw it at me and it makes me feel worse. stop 😭#and “it happened to me so that means it will happen for you!” no it doesnt!!!!! you had better luck/circumstances. i dont have what you did#it doesnt inspire me or give me hope. it makes me feel more hopeless others can do stuff and i cant.#people were willing to help you but not me? youre not willing to now help me? what else do i do?#especially when people tell me they struggled for a few years. im glad you haven't struggled your whole life like me#and i know youre trying to be nice. but it doesnt help im sorry 😭😭😭😭😭
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faaun · 6 months
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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do
#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down#and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more#and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir#youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother#im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg#just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful
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dittolicous · 3 months
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i dont get hpw people can make jokes about biden being shitty right now, when its nearly guaranteed that its either him or trump who will be president.... and trump becomimg president again is just.... horrifying? like legitimately really fucking scary????? im terrified thinking about biden not doing well, not because i like biden (i do not) but because the other option is basically. a nuclear bomb.
its all fun and games until we have no one who can get enough votes or power to go up against trumps corruption. and im so fucking afraid of how we'll joke ourselves right into our graves
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I've been looking for this one au where Len basically becomes a mad scientist and turns his friends into robots one by one for a while now, and I'm beginning to realize that I just read through your blog while half asleep a few months back and mixed together my memories of your flower hivemind and composite au
this is very funny to me. i'm absolutely honored this blog's posts were enough to evil-farming-game an entire vocaloid au into your memories 😂
i can give you this doodle; it's composite au but i'm sure it'd fit very well with this theoretical mad scientist len au lololl
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#ask#anonymous#this is ALSO funny to me bc of 'mad scientist' and 'flower hivemind au' in the same paragraph. it reminds me of an old scrapped idea#i had about where tf the flowers even came from in the first place but i ended up never doing anything w/ it#i've been thinking abt composite au though uag i want to do more w/ it... rip the unfinished refs and one google doc thing i have#shaking myself like ITS OKAY IF THE STORY KINDA SUCKS AT FIRST!! YOU NEED TO START SOMEWHERE#cus i mean i wouldve never gotten anywhere w/ Certain Things had i not started with the og shitty versions. which were SHIT#but its wild to think ~7 years later i transmogrified them into the things they are now. wack. makes me wonder what will happen#to stuff im making now later down the line if i go and revisit it. SO CONCLUSION YES BITCH GET OVER YOUR FUCKING ANXIETY#i think my other problem is i'd loveee to reveal it slowly with like art pieces comics etc but i dont got time for that 😔😔#CURSE WITH LITERALLY EVERYTHING I MAKE TBH not just fandom shit but original shit too. i need to get over myself#cause i do know respectfully not everyone has the skill/time/desire to pick apart things for symbolism so a clearer explanation#would prob be more accessible. and easier for ME TOO TO HAVE SHIT IN ONE FUCKING PLACE MAN. actually how i've been taking notes lately#sorry these are some longass fucking tags im talking to myself. just went into a new academic year w a lot of stress#so thinking abt my own crazy stories keeps me sane and makes me feel like i have control over at least SOME aspect of my life#anyways circling back mad scientist len sounds incredible lowkey though lmao. its always the stem lens 😔💔✌️#JK?? but i do joke abt composite au len partly going insane bc he's a biochem major essentially so yeah bitch i fucking get it 😭 no wonder
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lecliss · 5 months
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The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!
#i genuinely dont wanna pick anything#like okay. i know they dont have animal control or a shelter in this setting. but irl genuinely just call some people and see if theyll take#it if you wanna do something about it.#you are not getting my ass to touch a wild animal of any kind. i dont care what the situation is#i was asked once if i could help take care of some baby mice a friend accidentally ruined the nest of and a shelter wouldnt take them#and i was like. im sorry but no cuz i know for a fact im not equipped to handle something like that and i dont wanna touch wild mice and#i KNOW at least some of them will die and i wanna now have to deal with dead mice. and you know what happened?#the friend couldnt keep up with how often they needed to be fed and they died. and now you have dead mice.#something could have happened where they survived outside like the mom came back and fixed it maybe or at least one fended for itself#like its a shame the nest accidentally got ruined but it was an accident and things like that happen all the time#yes its an accident you caused but in the case of something like that i really dont think its suddenly your responsibility now#and i know itll make you feel better to try to make up for it but now you have dead mice#and i know for some people at least trying to help makes them feel better but now we're at the point where i just dont understand#i just cant comprehend the feeling or the idea or the thought.#so its like. i get sunday feels like he HAS to do something for everyone all the time but its genuinely turning him into a monster and he#cant see that. like trying all the time despite getting nothing done will tear you apart. let yourself rest#do the small things you can do around you. dont put the weight of everything on you all the time otherwise you wont get anything done#and youll start thinking not doing anything isnt even an option anymore#i promise its okay. take a break.#im not even referring to sunday anymore. you 🫵 its okay. take a break. make yourself feel better#then come back to things with a clearer calmer mind and do the small things you know you can do#dont force yourself to do everything because you feel like you have to. itll be okay. i promise#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hsr spoilers#oh right this is a spoiler post ifnfjfnfk#long post
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🗣️
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ribbonknot · 3 months
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sometimes i feel like rn it's really understated just how bad things could be if trump wins. like, actually. i feel like it's being forgotten that despite how bad things are right now, they would surely get WORSE.
#i dont want biden to win either#but is there really a big enough politician on the democratic party who the (still conservative) american population would vote for#HILLARY didnt even win and she's a generally non-offensive white woman#i know its like voting for 2 evils. but lest we forget there is definitely a MORE evil one here#and i think its the one who unabashedly tried to flush stolen documents in his toilet#i think its the one who wants to build the iron dome#i really wish i could say not to vote for biden. because trust i know very well all the shitty things hes done and stands for#(him clearly explaining ukraine & russia but dodging any questions about israel & palestine is enough proof of this)#but things around the world are going to get much much worse if trump wins#'cause hes just going to do whatever the republican party tells him to#downright evil those people could be at times#im still trying to gather my thoughts around this#as an outsider i cant help but be worried#because rn the us is a big factor towards the west philippine sea tensions#and honestly if we lose toast. like we're actually going to get colonized for the 4TH time#so im scared of what'll happen if trump were to ever take office again#00#sorry for the long tags btw#i fully understand that biden is a horrible person. i was pulling my hair out with all of you#but there are nuisances here that i feel shouldnt be forgotten#trump unfortunately really came out with a stronger swing after that debate#so i feel like everyone's sort of forgetting that no matter how horrible everything is right now#his only promise is to make things worse#and not voting only adds to his perogative
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halloweendeity · 13 days
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.
#horrible awful no good very bad day#apparently last night the apartment below ours caught fire and we were out of town#and we didnt find out til several hours later from our neighbor who had to track me down on facebook- we didnt hear a thing#from the apartment in any official capacity until like? 10 hours after the fire?#anyway we rushed home supremely early from a friend trip that was like#meant to be very good and fun#anyway so we rush home because no one can tell us if our cats are okay#and they were but our whole apartment is supremely smoky and all of our possessions are extremely smoky#and we cant stay there or let the cats stay there because of the smoke and soot and particles it just doesnt feel safe#so now im in my partners familys house which is like#fine but its full of people and i dont feel fully comfortable and i cant fully relax and and and and and etc etc etc etc#and tomorrow i have to wake up early and go over there and find out what if anything the complex plans to do about it and how long its gonna#be until we can come back safely. or more likely get more noncommittal answers and be unsure#and i dont know how long i can stay here and be normal#AND to top it all off i paid like 60$ to go to an aquarium i didnt even get to go to . but yknow. all of my friends got to !#and like im happy for them but no one was excited as i was and now i get to ruminate on how everyone got to do the fun thing i love#while i was stuck doing 17 loads of laundry and bathing the soot out of my cats fur in someone elses house#certainly it could be worse and im glad my cats are fine and im glad its just smoke damage and not yknow. Burn damage#but im having a sad little pity party anyway because i was supposed to have an amazing beautiful day ending in a relaxing evening#in my own home#and now i have to cope with all of this instead. all i want to do is cry#and also like. im scared we will have to move#but im also scared we wont... because like#i think it was a gas issue. and knowing that that happened in my building? and also knowing how much landlords love to halfass#repairs and everything else#i just dont know how safe i will feel there#even if they tell me its fine#anyway sorry for the tag vent post again my old ways will never die#ghost posts
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vilelittlecritter · 1 month
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You ever sit in a fandom space for so long that now looking at it kind of makes you want to rip your nails off.
Yeah.
#feeling this with Omori#ill look at my recommended tags and see some shit and immediately think “thats enough for today.”#granted alot of the community is children so of course theres gunna be cringey posts and that's fine#but then theres times its just weird and i realise i am far to tired for this shit now#i wanted to try and get into fandom spaces to be myself more and open up but i have now just gotten tired#but ultimately this was also the point in my life i was having an identity crisis and i like to think i have changed alot over the last year#im tired of everyone being called out as a predator or twelve year olds fighting over stupid shit#id rather focus my energy into my real life problems and not the latest “blorboscimbosimp24” drama#christ sometimes i regret getting into omori which is sad because its a game near and dear to my heart#but everyday theres some new shit that happens that sends people fucking feral#and also omocat herself is just a whole can of worms i just cannot be assed with.#that's not to say i hate everything about fandoms. ive met and talked to some really nice people and i enjoy their stuff#but still i have so little patience for peoples bullshit#sorry for ranting but im done with everyones horseshit and people being predators and wether or not omocat is a creep#i dont know i sort of dont care because god knows i have far more pressing matters in my personal life that need my attention#also this doesn't mean im not talking or posting about omori. i still like it but fuck man sometimes it feels awkward saying i like it#rant#random rambles
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jo the second he finds out masato's a little zesty
#not rgg#but if we try it can be#things kiryu would say if rgg allowed slurs#gona start a collection i got that kiryu You're Transgender? pic an now this#snap chats#i just needed an excuse to talk about this episode because HELP ME i didnt think this would be a theme in my fishermen jdrama#quick aside but its related the end theme for this show has literally no right to be so good oh my god.....#i'm gonna start episode 7 of First Penguin tomorrow probably since im gonna hang with my bro the rest of the night#but this episode (ep 6) is giving me a stroke#so for context. or just a lil background. tsutsumi's character in this is an old fisherman named hiro#and he's the most wish-washy bastard i ever seen in my life sometimes i want to strangle him#it's really funny though because he'll be so aggressive towards one thing but then the next after a lil convincing he's just Yeah Ok#funniest shit. anyways. Context Time#like ten minutes before this scene in the same episode he finds out his son's gay#WHICH. HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD CAUSE I DIDNT THINK THAT WOULD BE A THING#but anyway As Expected he has a fit over it because My Son This Is A Fisher Village Everyone Gonna Bully Your Ass#but then he talks with the female lead Iwasaki My Queen for like. five minutes and is pretty much over it a day later#and THEN THIS happens Another day later and. im sorry it had me laughing i dont know why#LIKE AGAIN IT'S BECAUSE HE'S SO WISHY WASHY BUT ALSO HE JUST STRAIGHT SOCKS A GUY#cause mate was saying slurs and all. his anti-homophobia arc we love to see it dude said Im No Longer Homophobic#ok bye we have pink pineapple and i wanna eat the pink fruit
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motherforthefamicom · 2 months
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trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school
#fucking insane i forgot abt a lot of these. i feel kinda bad keeping them that person kind offfff completely ruined my and many of my#friends lives but also. theyre kinda funny to look back on idk#theres one they made that was like ‘i drew the 2 of us as guys haha no reason lol’. idk how he identifies now but back then they were#very very openly a lesbian and last time id heard of him he had transed his gender#i remmeber . so clearly feeling some kinda way abt the art i couldnt articulate at all at the time. Lol#god that whole situation was so fucked im not gonna get into all my personal middle school bullshit becuz it was soooo stupid but like. man#insane#i know ive always been kind of a pushover ill admit but its soooo frustrating looking back like. man..HOW did i just not say anything at al#i wouldnt have gotten into that whole mess if id just been honest 😭 i mean tbh that guy was . i dont want to say anything too like . awful#he was going through a lot absolutely had his own issues they were working thruwe were all like 12 but again .#completely ruined me nd my friends lives for a while . i feel like he wouldve just pulled rhe same thing w someone else as the main target#okay no i need to stop talking abt this i said i wouldnt over share#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i dint know why im talkign abt this sorry#this is honestly something i think abt a lot sometimes . especially the stupider nd more mundane bits#but it was such an awful part of all out lives i cant really discuss it much w friends#everyone else has a much more ‘thank god were not in that anymore now lets pretend it never happened’ outlook on it which is understandable#idk#sorry im oversharing again i need to start keeping a journal or some shit
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robyn-goodfellowe · 1 year
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i'm being so brave about not making a puzzle right now
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spamtoon · 5 months
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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lightningbig · 7 months
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goddd botw makes me a little bit insane. link going through the story and meeting all of these people who use to know him. he doesn't remember. but they talk about him, "you used to train me!" "we were kids together" "I always looked up to you". they have lived a whole life while he's been asleep. he has not changed.
#is it obvious i just got to zoras domain. be honest#SORRY IT JUST REALLY GETS ME!!!#hearing so many people say how they trained with link when they were young and how he taught them and was always a mentor#how much they strove to be like him and now here they are#and it makes me claw at the walls thinking about link who doesn't remember them or any of what happened and who also is now#awake and at the same point he was 100 years ago#while everyone else has grown and aged and improved. maybe even surpassed what he taught them#but they will still view him in their minds eye as the person he was to them as a kid#and he still is!! that same person!!! but they aren't the same as they were#theyve changed while hes been stagnant sleeping unmoving#big 'you died and came back the same but the act of bringing u back has changed me irrevocably' vibes#and also like. i know the point of the game is that link is the hero and he's going to save the day#but god could you imagine waking up with no memory only to be told you died 100 years ago failing to save the world#and now you have to try again. the people who helped you died and arent coming back its just you#and despite how you failed the people of hyrule still revered you and so they are overjoyed to see you again#they are relieved they look at you with hope they talk about your success like its guaranteed like there is no other option#they dont doubt you. they put all their trust in you#but you don't even remember them. youve been asleep for 100 years. you dont even have your sword#sorry for writing a novel in the tags i just have a lot of feelings about this#like the prevalence of cycles & reincarnation in the franchise overall makes me froth at the mouth but the way it shows up in botw!!! MAN!!#loz#botw#k rambles
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