#so i had to get my own birds 😂

[roguemonsterfucker]

My cockatiel Bandit is molting right now and he looks so nasty 😂

If I didn't know what was happening, I'd be panicking thinking he's sick. Shoot, even though I KNOW what's happening I still am worried about him. 😂

On the plus side, I managed to get some of his shed feathers before he destroyed them so now I have a few intact wing and tail feathers from him for my collection. 👀

I always say the reason I have birds is so I can collect their feathers. It's a joke, of course. Mostly.

[irishmammonagenda]

Hi! Can i request MC with older brothers (i have four older brothers 😂) who are very protective of their little sister, and reaction of demon brothers, when MC wants to introduce them to her siblings?

hiya! ofc u can, im so sorry this is so late i saw it in my askbox like a week a week ago then forgot about it 😭😭 and then went away for easter and forgot abt it again😭😭

grma for the ask <3 fic dividers by @cafekitsune

MC With Older Brothers-Obey Me Brothers x Reader

When you had first been transferred to the Devildom, the inital shock of the new environment, the fact that demons and angels were actually real, the fact the fact that magic was actually real had made you forget about the reactions of your family back home upon realising yoou had just disappeared without a trace. It took you around a month to even remember, after the shock had worn off, and you had stopped living in survival mode. You hastily travelled to the Demon Lord´s Castle, and requested a formal visit to your family.

They were livid. Relieved but livid. Your parents, who were workaholics hadn´t noticed until around halfway through the second week. Your older brothers however, noticed the first day. And oh boy, did they want answers.

Going through Barbatos' portal was never a truly pleasant experience, although it wasn't unpleasant either. It was like that feeling in the pit of your abdomen when you're pushed too high on a swingset, but to a lesser extent. It almost looked like stars as the insides of the vortex falshed before your eyes before fading to reveal the park that you grew up near.

The reds and oranges of the leaves shone sparkling against the reddening sky with the morning dew. The early birds chirped, diving for worms, leaves fell gently down to the ground. You made your way home.

The familiar white door stood out like the gates of the Celestial Realm, your own personal paradise, everything you knew before the rug was pulled under you. You tried the doorhandle. Locked. Sighing, you looked under the entrance mat for the spare key and unlocked the door, walking into the hall. You had entered the kitchen and saw Evan, your second eldest brother making a sandwhich.

"Hiya!" You greet him. "Whatcha makin', Evs?"

Evan, who had just picked up his plate turned around and dropped it, his jaw slacked open, eyes wide. He stared at you, not even caring that his sandwich had fallen. "Y-you…where the fuck have you been?!"

"Uh...I-"

"Y'know what? Don't answer that yet." He steps away from you, moving out of the kitchen to the base of the stairs. "Sammie! Ben!" Evan shouts a few times, before hearing a pair of 'what?!'s back. "Get your asses down here now!"

Soon enough, reluctant thuds sound from the top of the stairs, getting louder as two of your brothers thunder down the stairs, you gulp. Lord Diavolo, you were in for it now.

Samuel appears downstairs first, the baggy MCR shirt he always wears to lounge around half hidden by his stained jacket. Ben follows soon after, phone in hand, no doubt open on the game he had been testing out. They both stall when they see you, Ben trips, and starts to fall, taking Samuel down with him.

“I-…MC..” Samuel swallows thickly. “W-where have you been…”

Ben parrots this.

You gulp. Adam—your oldest brother—would no doubt be the worst. And he wasn’t even home yet!

When Adam, your oldest brother did return from his date with his girlfriend (as you found out), he had demanded answers, and a hug. You try to explain it away, saying you found a scholarship at a college in another country, you must've just forgot to mention it! Silly you! Atleast that's what you were telling your older brothers, they didn't need to know you were taken to hell and the scholarship wasn't too far from the truth!

"Why didn't you visit? Or call? Or anything?" Was a question you heard parroted back to you multiple times.

"I...uh...it was just the craziness of it all....I forgot to call..." You rub the back of your neck. "I had to get a new phone anyway..." You say, giving them your number. It was a reasonable excuse. They couldn't exactly argue with it.

Samuel grabs your hand, the rough callouses of his fingers comforting. Permanent dents from his mastery of the guitar, he swings your arm back and forth, reminding himself that you're not in a ditch somewhere. "As long as you're safe...."

Evan huffs, Adam stares at you, eyes following your every move, he grumbles, "You're coming home every holiday you can. And calling us regularly. No more dropping off the face of the earth."

"Haha alright!" You laugh nervously, he didn't need to know that you technically did fall off the face of the earth.

"And I want to visit this College." Adam adds, Evan nods in agreement, as do the two younger of the brothers.

Shit.

Ben stretches, before sitting forward. "So tell us all about your dorm. Got any roommates?"

And boy, did that cause a few heated discussions. Though in the end you got away pretty much scott free. Though you had to visit bi-monthly, and call atleast bi-weekly.

On one of these bi-monthly visits, you'd decided to bring one of your 'roommates' along with you....

Just how would that go?....

LUCIFER

"Oh?~ Care to repeat that, MC?"

It had been a busy day in the Devildom for the Avatar of Pride. He was finishing up on paperwork when you came into his office asking him to come to the next visit to your brothers with you.

He acts a bit cocky over it, with his signature smirk and all, but agrees almost instantly.

Despite the fact that you asked HIM to meet your family, and that he was feeling quite flustered, he still somehow managed to make your cheeks burn and make you feel much more flustered about the situation.

"Hi everyone, this is Lucif-Lucius...! He's one of my roommates!"

"Lucius?"

"...My parents were Greek."

"Yeah, Ben, his parents were Greek don't be racist."

Lucifer relates to Adam on the sole basis that they're both the eldest, though he does feel second hand embarrassment anytime said brother would do anything a little too like him.

Overall its a pleasant time, your brothers were quite charmed by the Avatar of Pride, and it makes your pact mark buzz.

Lucifer fights the urge to place his palms over his face and re-contemplate his entire life and every single action he'd ever taken as he watches Adam, your eldest brother, lecture Samuel, the youngest of your elder brothers. The older man is glaring exasperatedly, Samuel hides his hands in his pocket, clearly uninterested. You watch on and feel a sort of deja vu, so does Lucifer. Does he seriously look like that when he gives out lectures? No wonder his brothers are so unruly! You pat his back from where you both sit on the sofa, he glares at you, though there's no bite to it. The second hand embarrassment is very strong.

MAMMON

"WHA- ehem...I-i mean of course ye'd want te intreduce yer b-brothers to the great M-mammon...!"

If Mams has a tail it'd be wagging like a helicopter propeller thingy.

You want HIM to visit your family?!

He's super tempted to go back and buy the engagement ring he'd saw in a jewellery shop window when shopping now!

He had been too nervous at the time....was he moving too fast...?

He's a nervous wreck, all the way there he's muttering things you can't understand in irish (gaeilgeoir mams agenda)

You can pick up the word 'focáil' (fuck) being thrown about a lot.

What de ye mean MC? He IS calm! Calmer than the sea on a stormy day...but thats still sort of calm!

The name Mammon isn't really known to anyone outside of the occult, so he doesn't change it.

"Mammon?" Evan says raising a brow, "What kind of a name is that?"

"He's Irish Evs don't be racist."

"Oh."

The dinner is quite awkward, but in the end, he somehow manages to win over your brothers.

and hey, if Ben gets more donations from people when he streams, Adam gets more costumers for his personal training, and Samuel and Evan get promotions at their jobs, well he didn't mean to! Honest!

Mammon sits at the dinner table with about as much nervousness as a schoolboy waiting outside the principal's office, he answers every question with a stutter, and tries his best to remember his table manners, your brothers are eyeing him suspiciously, until a clang sounds through the small kitchen, you had dropped your fork. Mammon perks up, happy to be 'useful' to you, "I'll get it!" and he practically dives down to get the utensil before washing it off and giving it to you. Your brothers relax slightly, deeming him too whipped for you to truly be a scumbag.

LEVIATHAN

"You want ME to WHAT?!"

bros panicking more than mammon☠️

Are you sure you want a stinky smelly otaku like me to-😰😰😰😰😰

It takes ages to calm him down enough, then he just feels flustered.

This reminds him of an anime with an insanely long name!

When you arrive at your house, he's so fidgety and nervous someone give this man a hug (dont he'll scream)

You introduce him as Levi, no one bats an eye to that one, hooray!

the atmosphere is very awkward until he notices the sticker on Ben's phonecase.

He finds out that your brother is a streamer, MC how could you never tell him?!

its a lot less awkward a lot more nerdy now.

"O-oh well I see where you're coming from, the mechanics and graphics on the game were great, but the lore needed work!" Levi says, stuttering far less than you'd expect him to. Ben nods, "I mean, I just kind of stayed for the boss fights, but yeah the lore was a bit..." He makes a face. Leviathan leans over, eyes sparkling, you admire them freely, normally he'd notice by now and be too flustered to continue talking. "Yeah! It had so much potential! But it just seemed so rushed!" You look around the room, Adam and Evan are conversing amongst eachother quietly, whilst Sam is trying his best to follow the conversation that Levi and Ben are having.

SATAN

"Oh? I'd be honoured..."

He's giddy, you wanted him of all of his brothers to come with you? Take that Lucifer!

This reminds him of when the love interest brings the protagonist to meet their family!

He reads up on the scenes as a sort of revision, though his natural charm is going to win them over anyway...or maybe not...

"Hello my name's Satan." He reaches out to shake Adam's hand.

Adam swallows, "Satan?"

Satan chuckles, having made a rookie mistake in his nervousness, "My parents were...devout satanists...I've had a hard life..."

Samuel pats his shoulders, "Oh you poor thing..."

He's honestly quite the gentleman, your brothers quite like him, despite his 'unfortunate' name.

"So S-satan..." Adam begins, "What was it like growing up with Satanist parents?" Satan sets his for down, "Oh, not as bad as one would think..." he quickly bullshits, "I did grow up in a very gothic style house though.." Your brothers nod, Evan intterupts, "So did you ever sacrifice any cats?" Satan grips his knife tightly, you feel rage bubble up in his pact mark. "No, satanists--atleast sane satanists--don't do that..." "Oh right..." Evan raises his hands in defense, "Just curious." "Oh no you're fine..." He says smoothly.

ASMODEUS

"Oh my Devil!~ I'd love to!"

Posts about it to his devilgram.

He's geniunely honoured, and sososososo excited.

"Hey guys, this is Asmodeus!"

"..Asmodeus?"

"...His parents are french..."

"Poor thing..."

ofc he wins them over, who do you think he is?

Adam loves him now, and Asmo is his goto for relationship advice.

Adam growns, looking at his phone, you give him a knowing look, "Trouble in Paradise?" "I forgot about our anniversary coming up! It's tomorrow!" He looks geniunely stressed. "There's no way I can get a restaurant reservation in time!" He says, stressing about his upcoming anniversary, it was his turn to do something. He didn't want to disappoint his girlfriend. Asmo shrugs, "So don't." Adam looks at him incredulously. "Excuse me?" "Don't go to a restaurant...the weather forecast says it'll be nice tomorrow, do a picnic or something." Adam gapes his mouth, breathlessly replying, "Yeah that could work...that could work..." A day later, Adam rings you, the picnic was a success! He demands Asmo's number.

BEELZEBUB

"Oh? Yeah MC I'd love to." :D

He's a little bit nervous, but happy that you asked him to go

Plus there's food involved.

Things that are important to you + you + food? He's in heaven (figuratively, last time he was in heaven he got thrown out, literally thrown)

Overall he's really sweet, has to eat a lot before he gets there so he doesn't accidentally eat one of your brothers.

"Hi I'm Beel."

"Beel?"

"He's Russian Evan, don't be racist." You bullshit, Beel looks at you, then smiles because he's looking at you :D

Your brothers love him, he's such a gentle giant.

Beel smiled happily, "This food is amazing." He says, closed eyed smile. "Thanks!" Evan grinned, "Cooked it myself!" Samuel scoffs, "No you didn't you microwaved it." Evan hits him over the head, "Shut up." He grumbles. Beel smiles again, they remind him so much of his own brothers.

BELPHEGOR

"No."

"What do you mean no?" :(

"I'm not going."

"Please."

"No."

"Pleaseee."

"Still no." He groans, putting his pillow over his face.

"I'll just have to ask Lucifer then..."

He jumps up. "Like fuck you will...c'mon, we have a family dinner to attend."

As per usual he is a bastard.

The waling talking definition of a bastard.

Your brothers hate him at first, but as the night goes on, they find out he's actually kind of funny.

"This is Belphie!"

"Belphie?"

"He's Russian don't be racist." You lie.

"Poor thing."

Belphie glares at you.

Belphie groans into his pillow, finally home, he drags you and pulls you onto the bed. Holding you in a vice like grip. "I'm never doing that again." He says tiredly, using you as a teddy bear to go to sleep. Bastard.

im experimenting with post designs :D

'gaeilgeoir' means irish speaker, i've seen it spelt other ways tho

[moumouton4]

Fantasy || Shikamaru Nara x reader

A/n : Prompt 6 of the Smutember 2023 ( 9th day of consecutive days of heatwave in France with 35°C so 95°F, it will continue until next Tuesday. I would like some ice cream. It's supposed to be under 25°C so 77°F )

The list of promps is HERE

Smutember 2023 Masterlist ⚜

Warnings : No mention of gender for reader, exhibitionism, "wall" sex but you'll understand after, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Word count : 826

You knew Shikamaru always had a thing for nature. He always preferred to train in the middle of a forest or a field rather than on a piece of land. And he LOVES napping away from the hustles and bustles of the village. The sounds of nature are so exquisite, the birds singing, the wind rustling the leaves or the crickets calling... well maybe not as exquisite as your moans but 🙂 yeah they're good in their own way.

That’s therefore in all normality that you didn’t have any second thoughts when he asked you if you wanted to join him for a little stroll in the forest. Since the day was pretty hot you thought it was a good idea. It would allow you both to enjoy the cool breeze circulating between the green leaves of the trees, protected by their shades. Though it seemed Shikamaru had other plans. For once he was going to be the one being a drag 😂

You let him as you navigate through the trees. The air was much more breathable here. You noticed, however, that he wasn't taking the same route as usual. You didn't point it out to him and continued chatting as you jumped. But then suddenly he stopped on a branch. Surprisingly he started to look around as if he was trying to make sure no one was around and when he knew the way was clear he turned to you “You know it’s been some time I’ve been thinking about something” you nodded as he spoke “You could call that a little fantasy, if you want to name it”

As he spoke he walked toward you, slowly backing you against the tree trunk. Without even you knowing, your boyfriend - who often was a slow-motion kinda guy - swiftly pinned you against the wood. His lips hovered over your ear as he spoke in a husky voice “What if we did it here ?”

Your breath hitched in your throat as your brain processed the information. He wanted to let you choose to join him in this adventurous moment, though his eagerness pushed him to slowly nibble on your neck. Your hand cradled the back of his head as if wanting to bring him closer “You know that you're currently the one being a drag” As you said that you felt his lips curve into a smirk against your neck.

“Does that mean “yes” ?” though he already knew you were going to be up for it ( Imagine Shikamaru just knowing as if it was a fact that you’re horny ) but just in case he teasingly grounded his growing bulge against you. He just knew how to make you weak and get what he wants. With a breathless answer coming from you, he hurried to pull down his pants and position himself in front of your entrance "Don't make any noise okay. We don't want to get caught out here"

“Don’t get too cocky now mist- mpff ah” you moaned. That little bastard plunged himself to the brim in one go.

“Mmh ? What did you say ?” he purred, his teeth grazing against the tender flesh.

“Hey it’s your fault for entering all the way like this”

“Then why are you so wet ?” he said as he started with slow thrusts inside your warmth.

“You’re insufferable” you managed to speak as his cock started to move faster inside you.

“You love it” he groaned slamming harder against you “All - of - it” he punctuated his words with deep thrusts, making your hand tighten their grips against his arms.

As he fucked you, you couldn’t help but look down at some moment just to see if you two were really alone. The branches of the trees were large enough to support both of your weight during your love making. Shiikamaru kept surprising you when he pulled out and switched both of your positions on the branch. He sat with his back against the tree trunk and patted his lap. You didn’t lose time to come and sink on his awaiting and throbbing member.

This one encounter wasn't even finished when your brain already came up with a plethora of other scenarios. You just knew this wasn't going to only be one time. You knew that he was going to try and take you to other places. Maybe in the middle of a field on a soft blanket, surely when night falls on the fresh green grass in a public park.

And you weren’t so far from the truth because the next place he brought you to was a little stream hidden in the forest, far away from where people come and train. It has plenty of depth to get fucked in his arms without him having to make any physical effort. And some smooth rocks that can, let’s be true, make a great place for a good and nice fucking.

[delta-pavonis]

'allo! may i have a bit of Friend Like Me? ;)

Absolutely! I have posted some of this before, but once again Tumblr's search function is failing me and apparently I can't organize my own tags for shit so... This is Matthew + Hob used to be partners in crime (literally) and Hob may or may not have started the crew from Leverage. 😂

100% G-rated fluff over here.

Hob has to do this every few decades otherwise he would be up to his eyeballs in storage units. It isn't fun, but neither is having too many moving parts to keep track of and potentially getting caught by another asshat with a hard-on for immortality. 

What was that quote he had read? "No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style." 

Not to mention the myriad other enemies he had accumulated via his network of grifters, hitters, and hackers. 

(What? The current state of technological advancements meant that Hob needed to get better at tracking and erasing his digital presence back in the late nineties. Was it his fault that while he was living in the States he had accidentally amassed a highly skilled group of "criminals" who were all connected to him like spokes to the hub on a carriage wheel? And that it turned out that they were, as a team, really great at liberating funds and removing items from billionaire idiots who didn't need a fraction of their accumulated wealth and power? That they did it so well that Hob had to fake his own death earlier than expected to get out from under a particularly angry arms dealer? Was that really all because of him?)

(Yes. Yes it was.)

Yeah, anyway, Hob didn't leave the house without at least one blade on his person anymore. 

This is why, when Hob is interrupted by a large black mass swerving into his storage unit through the crack in the door that should be far too small to admit such a creature, he pulls the nearest throwing knife (he was crouching, so he went for the one concealed in a sheath on the outside ankle of his black leather chelseas), clocks the intruder's movement in his peripheral vision, and wings it directly at them. It hits the wall with a satisfying kthud, which is promptly followed by a very avian squawking.

"FUCKING CAWCHRIST MY DUDE WAS THAT A KNIFE!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, THE IDES OF FUCKING MARCH?!"

That voice! Hob's head snaps up to see a sizable black bird falling in a tumble. It hits the concrete floor with a sound not unlike a briefcase hitting pavement from a story up (what? It is a very distinctive sound), leaving three large feathers tacked into the wall by the knife.

"Fuck me sideways that HURTS. Note to self, birds no likey losing butt feathers." The bird (A raven? Like this is the bloody Tower of London?) walks out from around a cardboard box with a bit of a waddle in its step, trying to look back at his tail while he moves. "I guess the Boss didn't tell you I was coming then?"

Hob sits back on his heels. That voice is still hauntingly familiar. But he would damned well remember meeting a talking bird. "Well, perhaps if you told me who your Boss is..."

The raven leaps a solid four feet into the air with a screech. He lands on top of a small writing desk, scrabbles against the smooth surface to balance himself, and then looks down at Hob with one glass-black eye. "I can't believe... no fucking way... Robbie? Is that you? Didn't you die in 2017?"

"Mattie?!" Hob's ass hits the cool floor as he is blown back by the revelation. "Didn't you die in 2020?"

Matthew Cable had been one of Hob's favorite grifters. Not because he was absolutely perfect at his job (oh no, Mattie had fucked up spectacularly more times then Hob’s blood pressure wants to recall), but because they had quickly become "let's get absolutely toasted and MST3K bad horror movies while we bitch about our love lives" buddies. Hob had missed Mattie immediately upon his own faked death and had mourned when he heard, through various channels he still kept an ear to, that Mattie had died in his sleep not too long ago.

"Yeah, but when I died I was given, like, a choice? Apparently the King of Dreams needed a new Raven and I decided to give it a go. Sounded much more interesting to work for him than actual death. There must be some mistake because I was sent here with a message for Hhh..." Mattie freezes.

"Dream sent you?" Hob tilts his head in interest. This was the Matthew he had often mentioned? A raven that carried his messages? Hob had been jealous over a bird?! (Oh Christ, how embarrassing.)

"Wait... what the fuck are you doing in Hob GaaaaAAHHHH!" Mattie the Raven starts hopping around frantically. "YOU ARE NOT JUST IN HOB GADLING'S STORAGE UNIT. YOU ARE HOB GADLING! FRIEND OF THE LORD MORPHEUS, KING OF DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES!"

Hob can't help his laughter. "Oh, he told you I was his friend, did he?" That Dream had called him friend to someone else shouldn't feel as good as it did. Hob tamps that useless bit of emotion down hard. (No good can come of that, better to put it away.) "Only took him six centuries to get there, stubborn wanker that he is." He fails to keep the fondness from his voice. 

"Christ you have no idea how much of a wanker sometimes..." Mattie shuffles his feathers. "Look, I gotta know the story here, man. How did you meet the King of Dreams?"

Hob stands, brushing off his jeans. "That... is a rather long story." He considers for a minute, barely that, rubbing at the back of his neck, before coming to a decision. "Look, it isn't like I get my close friends back from the dead every day... how about we head back to my flat, pull up something ridiculous like Slenderman, and I will fill you in on my story? Like old times?"

Mattie flaps over and lands on Hob's shoulder. "Hells to the yes. Especially if we can find out if ravens respond to THC. Shit, you ever get more of that Amnesia shit the team picked up in Amsterdam during that art heist job?"

Hob's belly laugh echoes in the small room. "I think I still have some squirreled away from my last trip to the continent." 

He locks the storage unit behind them. All the spring cleaning can happen another day. 

___________________________________

They did not, upon making it back to Hob’s flat above The New Inn, actually end up watching their intended horror movie. Instead, as they were flipping through options, they stumbled upon the live-action remake of Aladdin and Mattie had been so damned adamant that he wanted to see it while high that Hob had allowed the deviation from their established pattern. 

“That bird is a fucking useless sidekick. I will show you how to do it!” Matthew stands, wobbles, and falls off where he had been balanced on the arm of Hob’s couch.

Hob cackles, slouching back into the cushions. “Well, that’s your answer to the question about birds and THC, innit?” 

Matthew flapped his way up onto the space next to Hob. “Hey, I am still getting used to this stupid body without any fucking thumbs.” 

“Fair enough.” He shrugs, sinking even further back and letting the movie drift into the background, a gentle blanket of familiar songs. “So I can feel you trying to not ask questions. Ask away, Mattie. I owe you that much, at least.”

“Fucking right you do, faking your death like that caw.” The raven shakes his head. “Where even to start… Oh! I got it! When and how did you meet the King of Dreams and Nightmares? That must have been a trip and a half.”

The memory makes Hob even warmer and he feels himself grinning as he looks at the ceiling. “I was drinking with my pals at a tavern, the White Horse, in the year of our lord thirteen hundred and eighty nine…”

“Wait. The fuck? You are…” Mattie clearly stops to count for a blink, “almost seven hundred years old?”

“That I am, now let me finish… I rather loudly proclaimed that I had decided not to die. Just wasn’t going to fucking do it. And that was when he approached the table,” Hob closes his eyes, the swooping feeling of seeing Dream for the first time still razor sharp in his memory. Should he tell Mattie? Well, he had never been dishonest with the man before, no reason to start now. So Hob let all his emotional walls down. “And I swear to God, Mattie, it was like seeing a meteor shower for the first time. It was like discovering a second moon. I was absolutely dumbstruck by the beauty of this cocky young Lordling, all standing before me like he owned half the country. Looked it too, with that giant fucking ruby around his neck and his fine clothing.” Hob shakes his head, grin widening. “He offered me a deal. If I wanted unending life, then I could come back to that tavern on the same day at the same time one hundred years hence and tell him of my experiences of life so long-lasting. And here I am.” When Mattie doesn't immediately respond, Hob opens his eyes and turns his head. “What?”

The raven was studying him intently. When he spoke it was carefully metered and very much not in jest. “Robbie. I might be a bird now, but I would know that expression on your face anywhere. Do you… Are you…”

He didn’t need to put words to it, Hob knew exactly what his friend meant. He shrugged. “Aye, I probably am. But you have to understand, Mattie, he has been the only constant in my whole long life. Hundreds of relationships. Thousands of friendships. Centuries of life. And he was my only anchor.” Hob lets himself drift on that thought for a moment before coming back. “Did you know that I didn’t know his name until a few months ago when he showed up at the New Inn?”

“What?! What kind of asshole doesn’t give his – oh, wait, this is Dream I am talking about, isn’t it…”

Hob laughs. “You are very correct. Dream’s stubbornness is only surpassed by his beauty.”

“Wow. You’ve got it bad.”

“Most likely.” Hob inclines his head. “But I am happy with whatever type of relationship he is capable of with me."

The raven whistles. "Got it baaaad."

____________________________

And so it happens that Hob and Mattie are stonedly bickering over if Will Smith’s portrayal of the Genie was a good homage or a bad mockery (all while A Whole New World starts up in the background) when the King of Dreams and Nightmares steps out of nothingness and into Hob’s living room.

“Matthew! You were told to deliver a message, not spend an entire day-”

Hob cuts Dream off with an overdramatic, “OoooOOOOoooh, Mattie, you are in trooooouble.” Dream’s stern face snaps to Hob’s and he slaps a hand over his mouth while he giggles none-too-loudly, “OooooOOOh, now I am in trooooouble.”

That makes Mattie burst into giggles and let it be known that the giggle of a raven is not actually a pleasant sound to take in.

So it makes Hob laugh harder.

Then he sees Dream’s absolutely bewildered expression.

And that makes Hob laugh even harder.

Sobbing as he laughs, collapsed to the floor (having initially fallen clear off the couch in surprise at Dream’s entrance), clutching his belly, Hob can’t even bring himself to worry that Dream might actually be angry with him. Fuck, Hob just got Mattie back. This is fucking great.

Hob wipes at his face as his hysterics subside, trying to keep his voice steady as he addresses Dream from his place on the floor. “I’m sorry, m’love, I didn’t mean to patronize you, I just-” He cuts himself off when he sees, for the first time, a petal-pink blush color his Stranger’s cheeks.

“You called him your love!” Mattie cackles. Hob feels himself blush now, too. That was a slip. That shouldn’t have happened. (Ah, bollocks.) “You are so in for it now. The Boss hates pet names! Once I tried to call him Lord Mew-mew because he was acting like a wet fucking cat and-”

“Enough.” Dream waves his hand to his Raven and the bird is immediately silenced. “Matthew, leave us. I am not asking.”

“Aww, maannn.” Mattie shakes himself off and seems to become shockingly sober with just a ruffle of feathers. “Roger that, Boss. See you back at home.” Then he nods to Hob. “We should do this again sometime.” 

Before Hob can respond Mattie has taken wing and flown out a window that definitely was not open a moment ago. When he looks back up it is to have Dream’s hand in front of his face, gently offering to help him stand. Hob takes it, if only for the excuse to touch his Stranger’s skin for the first time. (His touch is cool, his fingers long and uncalloused, his skin smooth. Hob memorizes every sensation greedily.)

Dream seems to realize this once Hob is on his feet because the blush deepens slightly and he retracts his hand with a jerky motion. 

“I am sorry if I offended you, Dream.” Hob takes a step to the side and tries to catch his friend’s eye. Dream keeps purposefully looking away. “It is just a silly human endearment. I am rather high on some excellent weed and I didn’t mean-”

“Ah.” Dream interrupts and Hob’s jaw clicks shut. Dream is still not looking at him and so Hob can see the way the muscles in his jaw flex with tension. “Just a silly endearment. You did not mean it.” 

Something fiery swoops inside Hob. Dream has never acted like this. Never avoided Hob’s eyes. Never interrupted him. And all because Hob had accidentally called him love.

See, thing is, Hob does mean it. More than he has words for. But never did he think… Dream couldn’t possibly. Fuck. Hob is too high to think clearly about this.

Hob steps into Dream’s line of sight, forces the slightly taller anthropomorphic personification to meet his eyes. Why it comes out a whisper when Hob speaks he will never know. “Dream. Do you want me to mean it? Do you want me to call you,” he hesitates for a moment because this could ruin everything. (But look at him! Look at the hurt in his expression, the tension in his shoulders. He does not hide it well, now that Hob knows what to look for - thanks, Sophie.) “my love?”

It is answer enough to see Dream’s pupils dilate and his nostrils flare. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. 

He is shaking when he goes to take Dream’s hand, brings it up to press a kiss to those beautiful fingers. “If I am reading this wrong then please please let’s just chalk it up to the THC and pretend this never happened. But…” Hob takes the last step in and now they are almost chest-to-chest, “I thought you would have figured it out after 1689… you are my guiding star. It is you who I wait decades for. You who I hope to impress with my experiences. You who I have yearned to touch with every fiber of my being for literal centuries.” Dream is blinking wide eyes at him now, confusion and surprise and hope all written there. “And if your friendship is all I can have, then so be it. But, Dream. If I had three wishes I would spend them all just to be able to call you love.”

[attic-club-sandwich]

Thoughts on Mammon being a bird dad?

Like there isn't a doubt in my mind he names them all. From cool names like Gucci to names of an object, like Rocky because he saw a rock on the ground... he's running out of names

omg i could go on all day about bird dad Mammon! He definitely treats his crows like his children. I always thought it was such a cool concept for him to be able to communicate with them (since they are his familiars... in my mind at least!)

But here's some of my personal headcanons/thoughts:

I imagine that when Mammon first enters the Devildom, he spots a crow sitting on the fence as they are leaving the Demon Castle for the first time.

Then all of a sudden more keep landing and he keeps hearing voices calling out to him and his brothers.

"H-Hey uh, do you guys hear that too?"

The brothers shoot him weird glances since they think he's crazy, and for a second he thinks he's also losing his mind.

Then all of a sudden he realizes the birds are talking to him.

Beckoning him over to the fence.

It's like they immediately knew who he was.

Mammon hesitantly walked over to them, instinct telling him to hold out an arm.

One gently lands on him, looking directly into Mammon's golden gaze.

It speaks words that only he can understand, leaving his brothers visibly confused.

Mammon starts forming relationships with the birds, giving them gifts and getting things back in return.

There's a tree outside of Mammon's window that has the perfect branch that extends right past his bedroom window, so the crows often perch outside and tap on the window when they return home.

They like to bring him things like buttons, bells, stones, rings, etc.

They'll even bring him Grimm that they find laying around on the streets.

Mammon is very quick to return to his bedroom after RAD to see what gifts that they brought him.

He also keeps all of the feathers that the crows leave behind. He has a collection.

He always gets something to bring back for his crows too, like a shiny rock or a Demonus bottle cap he found or maybe some leftover snacks from the RAD cafeteria.

Mammon usually has peanuts or something in his pockets, and Lucifer gets very annoyed on laundry day (if he forgets to give them to his crows lol)

As far as naming them, i feel like you are absolutely right lol he definitely has them named after luxury brands like Gucci or Louis Vuitton or something 💀

He would also totally name them by the first ever gifts they brought him! So Rocky is 100% a possibility he's so cute omg.

Maybe he isn't too good at coming up with names sometimes so he has MC help him name them too because new crows will come along 💕 (baby crows perhaps?!)

He basically has his own personal little army of crows. He commands them and they listen and do favors for him, but he also takes care of them too in return.

If one returns injured, he will personally see to nursing it back to health!

He definitely takes his dad/grandpa responsibilities seriously. 😂

thank you for sending this in, Hack! I had so much fun rambling about this it sorta just turned into a headcanon haha

Taglist: @amberrskiies @obey-me-posts @sassykattery @delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil @a-hidden-gem @otomefoxystar @marvelous-maniac @nonbinary-disaster @selfmadender @animeismyhappyplace @vampire-tr4mp @ana-dear @gaychaosgremlin @sidgethegamer @meiloorun-tea @temnuk0

[khaire-traveler]

🌾 Subtle Tyche Worship 🪙

Eat fruit or vegetables; eat something naturally grown

Hold onto a coin that you consider lucky

Get a ball, for any purpose - stress ball, decorative ball, sports ball, any ball will do

Get a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)

Keep a picture of her in your wallet

Wear jewelry that reminds you of her

Try veiling

Carry a good luck pocket charm

Working on things that will benefit your future; editing a work resume, looking into further education, planning the outline for a book you want to write, etc.

Have imagery of wheat, cornucopias, wings, a ball, ship rudders, a mural crown, strings/weaving, coins, or anything you associate with good luck around

Have a stuffed animal of any creature you associate with good luck

Play with dice; collect dice (✨ dice goblins encouraged ✨)

Be generous to others, especially those in a tough spot

Collect coins you think are cool; old coins, coins from other countries, coins given to you on an important day of your life, etc.

Try to participate in a competition or contest; do something competitive

Support homeless shelters, humanitarian organizations, or animal shelters

Donate supplies to homeless shelters; hygiene kits tend to be in high demand

Be patient with and kind to yourself when things don't go the way you planned

Research coping skills for stress or disappointment; try to implement them when such situations arise

Learn to go with the flow of life; release control when needed; don't borrow grief from the future

Cook a warm meal from someone in need

Reach out for help during your times of need; don't be afraid to rely on the kindness of others; don't be too proud to accept offered help

Dance/sing to music that makes you feel happy, expressive, or empowered

Treat yourself with the same love and compassion that you give to others

Find reasons to smile/laugh throughout your day; look for the little things that you enjoy

Spend time with your loved ones

Make a small list of things that you're grateful for, they don't have to be big things; grateful that you have a cozy blanket, a stuffed animal, shoes on your feet, etc.

Engage in random acts of kindness; paying for the meal of the person behind you, holding the door for someone, returning an item someone dropped, etc.

Try to focus on lifting others - including yourself - up; be kind, provide words of encouragement, give emotional support when able, etc.

Try not to engage in gossip too much; such things can unjustly ruin a person's reputation

Cook yourself a homemade meal if able; eat a comfort food; treat yourself to a lovely dinner

Encourage yourself before an important event; giving yourself compliments before a date, motivating yourself before a presentation, etc.

Leave a generous tip for service industry workers; pizza delivery, waiters, artists, etc.

Support small businesses

Feed neighborhood dogs, cats, birds, etc.

Buy or make a gift for a loved one

Send a random kind message to a loved one

Play with your pets; spend time with them

Get a lucky piece of clothing or jewelry (I have a lucky pair of socks, for example)

Place a good luck charm at the entrance of your room or home

Handmake your own bread; bake something by hand

Hand out cookies, pastries, etc. to your neighbors (please double-check allergies first)

Give any kids in your life a gift; a new toy, candy, cool jewelry, a video game, etc.

Wear an outfit that makes you feel good and confident; doll yourself up simply for yourself

Try something new; do something with a calculated risk

-

I'll likely add more in the future, but for now, this is my list of discreet ways to worship Tyche. I felt like I had a lot of ideas for her, so I kind of had to stop myself from writing too much. 😂 I hope someone finds this helpful and enjoys these suggestions. Take care, everyone, and may fortune be in your favor! 💚

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[pedrito-friskito]

I am a desperate little gremlin (who’s brain is refusing to go to sleep for some reason), politely asking for your Oberyn hcs? Or really any GoT hcs?

Thanks for always indulging in my nonsense <3

SCOUT SCOUT SCOUT SCOUT SCOUT

I’m sorry for letting this sit in my askbox for so long, my hyperfixations drifted for a while 😭 BUT I’m back on my GoT bullshit (for now) with a few hcs for our favourite prince AND a little something spicy under the cut cuz I’m in a M O O D.

oberyn martell headcanons:

this man is SMART. like…we already know oberyn is well-spoken and witting and cunning (and a little too vengeful but that’s what fix-it fics are for) but he’s a sexy-level of intelligent. and he’s a bookworm!! he reads any and every book he can get his hands on, his head is full of historical facts and timelines and details of battles won and lost. he can recount full summers and winters and when his girls ask for a story late at night, when they can’t sleep, he’s more than happy to spin a tale that’s not far off from the colourful past.

he’s a hopeless romantic. yes, he’s a gigantic flirt and a devil between the sheets and yes, he has you wrapped around his finger in the blink of an eye, but he does it well. we’re talking flowers and gifts and poems delivered to your chambers in the middle of the night. walks through the water gardens and long conversation, not just winning you over with his generosity, but his personality, his admiration, his ambition. he falls for you just as hard as you fall for him.

dorne is beautiful, no denying, and I like to think that the sweet prince has many secret hiding places, mini oasis (oases? the english language is weird) with beautiful gardens he likes to tend to. he could spend hours amongst the greenery, the exotic fruits and the sound of birds. he enjoys the beautiful things, and finds solace wherever he can.

I was gonna say he’s adventurous in bed but….that pretty much goes without saying so I don’t think it counts as an hc 😂 (and see below…😏)

silk - oberyn martell x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

warnings: light bondage, teasing, oberyn comes with his own warning, dirty talk, idk what the fuck this is and it’s unedited so HAVE FUN 💕

“Ah, ah, ah,” he purrs, the tip of his nose dragging along the stretch of your inner thigh. “Not yet, my love. You are doing so well for me.”

You can’t help the whine that falls from your lips, hips lifting to chase his slick lips. The ties around your wrists pull taut, the headboard behind you creaking with your movement. You can’t see him, but you can feel him, hands roving around your hips and over your stomach, fingers dancing along your skin as he kisses your skin, nips your flesh between his teeth.

“L-lover,” you stutter out, “Oberyn, please.”

He clucks his tongue at you now, and you can almost see the cat-like grin as he moves higher up the bed, adjusting the numerous pillows and blankets as he goes. His shoulder hooks beneath your knee, spreading you wider, putting you on display. 

You’ve been at this for hours.

It was like a game of cat and mouse, from the moment you opened your eyes. Every corner you turned, he was there, a mischievous light in those dark eyes, hands twitching when you brushed past. You teased just as hard as he did, hovering too close when you poured him more wine, swishing your skirts just the right way when he walked by. The look in his gaze had become something more feral, more intimidating, but you were more than happy to play along.

The sun had barely fallen when he’d summoned you to his chambers, the balcony doors wide open to let the warm Dornish air fill the space. The prince stood at the ledge, a glass of wine in his hand, his chest bare, that thick golden chain he favoured dangling from his neck. He held something in his grip as he turned to you, dark coloured fabric that shone in the torchlight. Silk scarves; he’d brought you one back as a gift from his last journey to Essos.

His lips twitched into a grin as the door shut behind you, the lock clicking shut when you sank against the wood. “My prince?”

“Do you trust me, my love?” he called, head cocked to the side. He set the glass of wine down, took the silk between both hands, slipping the fabric between his knuckles, watching it move like water through his fingers. “Would you let me try something we haven’t tried before?”

You weren’t one to deny your prince.

First, he had slipped the silk over your eyes, a loose knot tied at the back of your head, enough to cover your eyes. Once it was fastened, he turned you to face him, palms cupping your shoulders, and leaned in slow. You could feel it, the shift in the air as he came closer. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, then let his mouth drag across the silk, the fabric catching on his lips.

He caught your chin next, a knuckle knocked beneath it, tilting your face up, your head back. “My beauty,” he murmured, thumb rubbing at your bottom lip, spreading your saliva along the pad. “Oh, how I cannot wait to watch you come undone.”

Oberyn laid you out on the bed next, sweeping you into his arms and carrying you across the room. You squealed when he swept you off your feet, clinging to him as he held you, burying your nose in his neck.

“I would not let you fall, my love.”

My love. My beauty. The possessiveness had you keening, even before he’d even started to touch you.

You stretched out as he laid you down, legs shifting beneath the thin skirts of your shift. He moved with you, hovering over you, your arms still latched around his neck, knees knocking wide for his hips to slide between.

He kissed you hard, tongue tasting of wine as it dipped into your mouth. You moaned, and he drank the noise, humming in approval when you buried your fingers in his hair, wrapped the short strands around your knuckles. When your hands moved, trailing down his shoulders, he struck, reaching for your wrists, pulling them away from his body. He held both in one big hand, tugged your arms over your head. You followed his lead, your eyes fluttering against the silk as he rolled his hips into yours as he manoeuvred you, and then you felt it.

More silk, looped around your wrists, pulled just taut enough to keep you in place, keep your hands from roaming his body. You bit back your whine at the notion of not touching him while he tended to you, but it was quickly replaced with another moan as he tugged your shift aside, lowered his mouth to your chest and took your nipple between his teeth.

Slowly, he touched you. Every skim of his fingers was featherlight, every scrape of his teeth just this side of not enough. Wherever his fingers moved, your body reacted, muscles twitching and limbs lifting, trying to get closer, trying to get more.

But he wouldn’t give it.

It was nearly torturous, the way he was dragging out your pleasure. Most nights, he’d bring you to that peak multiple times, pulling noises from your throat you didn’t think yourself capable of. This was different, the way he made you beg, the way your body did it willingly. He dragged you straight up to the edge, then left you there, waited for you to relax, before starting over, back to the beginning, your heart racketing in your chest.

And it’s been hours.

“Oberyn,” you keen, and he brushes the backs of his knuckles against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Every touch makes you twitch, and your spine arches when you feel his hot breath against your hotter core. “Please.”

“So sweet when you beg,” he murmurs, the feeling of his tongue flicking at your clit following a moment later. You gasp. “This pleasure, it feels incredible, does it not? I can see it, just below the surface of your skin. Like a fire, coming to life.” Another lick. “Though, I must admit, I do miss the feeling of your hands on me.”

“Let me—” you start, but you never get the words out completely. He licks at you, groaning into your very depths, every nerve in you sparking to life. Thick fingers spread you open, and even with the blindfold, you can feel his eyes on you, that heavy gaze raking over every inch of your body.

“Oh, my love,” he whispers, giving you another lick, the flat of his tongue a scorching heat that feels like it never ends. “We’re just getting started.”

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

Lol as soon as I saw this I knew I wanted it 😭😂😂

IMG 4, prompts 37 & 38 with either Chan or Seungmin please! 🩷🌸

Skz prompt game

Prompts: "You're n-not, um, w-wearing anything under that, are you...?"

"Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?"

Member: Kim Seungmin

Relationship: Neighbors!FemReader x Seungmin

The first time you'd met Kim Seungmin, it had been under completely normal circumstances.

You had needed to borrow a cup of sugar.

Cliche, right?

But you really needed to stress bake these cookies and eat them all before bed, because you had a big job interview in the morning and what better way to relieve some anxiety than with warm chocolate chip cookies?

So, when you'd realized you had no sugar, it was a catastrophe, to say the least.

Without even thinking, you had gone next door and knocked on your neighbor's door.

You only realized it was a bad idea after it was too late to take it back.

After Kim Seungmin had opened the door looking like some sort of nerdy Greek God, confusion spread across his pretty face, dark hair still damp from a shower.

He had stared at you with confusion, and in a squeak, you had asked if he had any sugar you could borrow.

He had given you a look that clearly said he still didn't understand why you needed sugar at ten PM at night, but had promptly gone to retrieve you a cup.

You had taken it with a mumbled 'thanks' and scurried back to the safety of your own apartment.

Surprisingly, the cookies did not make you feel better, because they were only meant to soothe your new job anxiety, not erase the stupidly awkward way you had introduced yourself to your incredibly hot neighbor.

You vowed the next time you saw Kim Seungmin, you would be calm and collected, smooth and put together, ready for anything, not standing on his threshold in barely matching pajamas with a bird's nest for hair, holding a measuring cup.

Oh, how Karma is a Bitch.

********************************************************************************

The next time you see Kim Seungmin, it's just as bad, or maybe worse-no definitely worse-than the first time.

He opens his door at your knock, and his eyebrow ticks up in surprise when he sees you.

You give a little sheepish wave. "Hi."

He leans against the doorframe, and you try not to notice the way his cozy, soft looking sweater stretches over his arms as he does so.

Recognition crosses his face.

"Oh, Number Four right?"

You stare at him, confused. "What?"

He gives a little grin, and cocks his head, watching you, before he jerks his chin toward your apartment door directly down from his.

"You're from Number Four, yeah?"

You realize, with a jolt of stupidity and a flush to your cheeks, that he's referencing your apartment number, because of course, you hadn't given him your name the first disaster of a night.

You had been more focused on getting back to your apartment before you spontaneously combusted from embarrassment.

"Oh, right. Yeah." You give an awkward little laugh and swing your arms a little. "That's me."

Seungmin studies you for another brief moment, and you begin to fidget, before he asks, "How'd the interview go?"

You jerk in surprise, staring at him wide eyed.

He remembered?

"Um-" You scratch at the back of your neck, suddenly flushing again under his gaze, scuffing the toe of your shoe on the old, worn carpet that lines the hallway. "Yeah! Good. I got the job."

"That's great." Seungmin says with a smile, and you think he genuinely means it.

You stand in silence for a couple more moments, and then he clears his throat, finally asking, "So, did you need something?"

Fuck, you had forgotten the whole reason you had knocked on his door in the first place.

Something about big, brown, doe eyes did that to your stupid little monkey brain.

"Oh, yeah!" You give another nervous little laugh, and try to ignore the burning of your cheeks. "I um, kinda locked myself out of my apartment. Do you mind if I use your balcony to get in through my window?"

Surprise flashes across Seungmin's face, and then he's moving aside, giving you room to enter his apartment.

"Oh, um, yeah, sure. Go right ahead."

You squeeze past him in the doorway, and try to ignore the slight scent of his cologne that wafts over you as you do so.

Something cedar lined, if you had to bet, with hints of pine.

Focus, (Y/N).

Seungmin follows you through his kitchen and living room, and you note, with slight interest, that his apartment is just how you imagined from the one time you'd interacted.

Shelves of books line the wall behind the TV, and there's few and sparse decorations, but a nice, large leather couch takes up the majority of the living room space.

It's nice and cozy. Definitely a bachelor pad.

There's no touch of anything feminine-not even a cardigan left over the back of a chair, or shoes in the hall.

The thought makes you giddy for some reason.

Seungmin skirts around you to push open the large window that leads to his balcony, and gives you an amused sort of look as you consider the most ladylike way to shove your body through a window.

"Okay, um-" You hesitate, fingers wrapping around the sill, and glance out to the balcony beyond.

There's a couple of pots of what looks like herbs growing on the ledge that lines the window, but you should be able to shimmy your way out relatively easily.

"Need a boost?" Seungmin asks from behind you, and you jump so hard that your head hits the top of the sill.

He chuckles. "Sorry."

You shake your head, your face so red it could heat and cook an egg, and decide to just get it over with.

Surely someone like Seungmin isn't going to be looking at your ass as you crawl through his window anyway.

"Here I go." You announce, not really sure why, and push yourself out through the open window, hands first.

Your legs dangle for a minute as you scooch your body over the wide sill, and then with a slight shriek, you topple headfirst onto the grated metal floor of the small balcony.

"You good?" Seungmin peeks his head out, staring down at you.

You access yourself and then nod, dusting yourself off and standing up, gripping the fire escape railing for support.

Fuck, you had thought the third floor wasn't that high up, but out here-

You swallow, and focus back on the man still leaning out the window.

You give him a thumbs up that you hope looks more confident than you feel. "All good. Thanks for the help."

Seungmin watches as you slowly creep your way against the wall to your own terrace, and swing a leg over the railing to the adjoining balcony.

"How do you know your window is going to be open?" He queries, seeming like he's making conversation, and while you would like nothing more, you'd rather it be when you weren't three hundred feet off the busy street below.

You grunt a little as you lower yourself to your own balcony, and take a moment to catch your breath.

"I always leave it unlocked." You reply back, leaning forward enough that you can jostle your window and heave it upward.

It opens easily, and you let out a triumphant whoop.

"That seems unsafe." Seungmin comments, and when you glance back, he's sitting on the ledge of his own window so he can see you, legs dangling, worry in his dark brown eyes.

"What, leaving my window unlocked?"

He nods seriously. "Yeah, I mean, the crime rate is pretty high here."

You snort. "We're three hundred feet off the ground, dude. It'd have to be a pretty determined criminal."

You swing a leg over into the safety of your apartment, and let out a sigh of relief.

Seungmin's voice makes you pause.

"Stranger things have happened."

He still sounds concerned, and you slide the rest of your way into your apartment before you lean back out the window, popping your head around the sill so you can meet his gaze.

"The only thing that these tiny balconies have ever been used for, Number Six, is what you just witnessed." You give him a little grin.

Seungmin looks resigned, before he holds out a hand into the space between the two of you. "Throw me your phone."

You stare at him like he's just grown a second head.

"I am not throwing you my phone. Knowing my luck, you won't catch it and it'll smash on the concrete three hundred feet below us."

"I'll catch it." Seungmin assures, hanging farther out his window, giving you a pointed stare.

You slip your phone from your pocket and heft it into you palm, wondering how incredibly stupid you have to be to put this much trust in a man you've only met twice.

Though, he did let you use his balcony, so you guess you sorta owe him.

Resisting the urge to close your eyes to what happens next, you toss your phone over the railing to him.

He catches it easily, and you let out the breath you'd been holding.

He types something, and then tosses the phone back to you once more. You fumble it, but palm it in time, and stick it back into the safety of your pocket.

"Now you have my number." He announces, giving you a cheeky little look and an arch of his brow. "Just in case you ever get locked out again, or you need someone to save you from all the bad things that come in through your unlocked window."

You resist the urge to squeal and look at your phone.

Instead, you clear your throat and say in a rather calm voice, "Thanks. I appreciate the help. And the number."

He waves you away with a sigh, and starts to duck back into his own apartment. "Yeah, yeah. See you around, Four."

You grin, and shut your window.

********************************************************************************

You: I have a favor to ask. 👀

Six(y) Seungmin: Oh no. 😮‍💨

You: It's not bad!!! Six(y) Seungmin: Considering the last two favors you've asked of me were 1) for a cup of sugar and 2) to climb out my balcony, I'd say the spectrum with you is *very* broad and I have a right to be apprehensive.

You: .....Touché.

Six(y) Seungmin: What's the favor, Four?

You: Can you possibly, maybe, water my plant while I'm gone this weekend? Pretty please??

Six(y) Seungmin: *Plant*. As in, you have *one* plant?

You: Yes?🤨 What's wrong with that? If I have too many, I can't keep them all alive and I panic and then I feel awful when they die and have to have plant funeral services for them all. 🥺

Six(y) Seungmin: OMG. Fine. I'll water your *ONE* plant. 😑

You: You are an angel, Six.🥹 His name is Yongbok.

Six(y) Seungmin: ....like the fucking KPOP star?

You: I will not be taking anymore judgement this chat session, thank you. 😌

Six(y) Seungmin: 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 You don't have to choose to take it, but just know it's there regardless.

********************************************************************************

"I made cookies!" You announce as soon as Seungmin opens his door, sweeping past him without waiting for him to invite you in.

He sighs, shutting the door behind you, and when he turns, his eyes go a little wide, staring at the large platter of chocolate chip cookies filling your hands.

"Holy shit, Four, how many cookies did you make?"

You glance down at the platter and give a little sheepish shrug. "I was stress baking."

He stares at you. "Why were you stress baking?"

Your cheeks go pink, and you set down the oversized tray of cookies on his table, jumping up on the counter to swing your legs.

"I have an annual performance review tomorrow."

Seungmin sighs again, and you know it's killing him to watch you sit on the counter without telling you off, but to his credit, he doesn't say anything, cocking a brow and asking, "And you think you'll do badly?"

"What? No!" You immediately protest, but then consider for a moment. "I mean, I don't think so? But also, it's stressful, and I don't know-"

Seungmin makes an understanding sound in the back of his throat, leaning against the couch, and you realize suddenly, as you reach over to pluck a cookie off the tray, that he's wearing nothing more than a robe, cinched tightly around his narrow waist.

The hand holding the cookie freezes halfway to your mouth.

Seungmin raises an eyebrow, staring you down.

"You're n-not, um, w-wearing anything under that, are you...?"

His brow ticks higher. "I mean. That's kind of the point of having my own apartment, so I can wear-or not wear-whatever I want, right?"

You shove the cookie into your mouth instead of responding, not wanting to lead your thoughts down that path, and promptly choke on the sugary treat, coughing violently.

Seungmin watches, a smirk curving his lips, as you dart to sink and take a long, gulp of water.

Your eyes are watering when you finally turn back to him, cheeks red and mind buzzing.

Instead of addressing the elephant in the room-obviously choking on a baked good at your friend's state of undress is not considered ordinary platonic behavior-you promptly cover your eyes dramatically, joking loudly, "Oh my god, put on some clothes! My eyes are burning here, Six!"

Seungmin sighs, and you hear his footsteps pad from the room.

Peeking out from between your fingers, your cheeks still burning, you turn back to the sink, and promptly splash cold water on your face and neck.

Everything is hot at the thought of Seungmin completely bare beneath that robe. And when you say everything, you mean everything.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

********************************************************************************

You: If I fucked as loudly as our upstairs neighbors, I would never show my face in public again. 🤢

Six(y) Seungmin: Sounds like you're jealous.

You: WHAT I AM NOT JEALOUS. WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS.

Six(y) Seungmin: It's okay to admit you're in a bit of a dry spell, Four.😏 I mean, I've never seen you bring anyone home-guy or girl alike.

You: Oh, because you can tell so much from my comings and goings. 🙄

Six(y) Seungmin: That and you spend all your time with me. So. I know you're not getting any action. 😝

You: I hate you.

Six(y) Seungmin: No you don't. You're just cranky as fuck because you haven't been laid in like 6 months.😘

You: Reported. Blocked. Deleted.

********************************************************************************

"You know, most young people spend their free time at clubs or with their friends on the weekends, Four."

You glance up from your spot on the small fire escape balcony to see Seungmin grinning at you, climbing out onto his own balcony.

You lift a shoulder in a shrug. "Yeah, well I'm not most people."

Seungmin chuckles, checking over his carefully potted herbs before he glances up at you, a slight smirk on his lips. "Yeah, I've noticed."

You stick your tongue out at him, and settle your back more comfortably against the wall behind you.

"You're here too." You point out, glancing over at him again, as he sits down, legs dangling over the grating, thousands of feet above the busy nighttime street below.

"That I am." He admits with a tilt of his head in your direction and a sigh. "That I am."

There is silence for several seconds, both of you watching the tiny people below coming and going, the bustle of the city a quiet hum filling the cool night air.

It's nice out here.

Especially with Seungmin's company.

"What, did your weekend dick appointment fall through?" You glance at him sidelong, voice teasing, playing with the hem of your sweatshirt as the breeze picks up.

Seungmin gives you a slight smile. "Something like that."

"Bummer." You tease back, leaning your head against the wall and closing your eyes, letting the breeze caress your face, before you stare up for a moment at the stars just starting to breech the smog. "No other crazy weekend plans?"

Seungmin makes a little noise in his throat that you take as a no, and comfortable silence falls once more.

You hear Seungmin shift his position, and then he says off handedly, "You know, Four-"

"Hm?" You hum beneath your breath, still squinting to see the stars.

He shifts again. "-we could be each other's crazy weekend plans from here on out. If you wanted."

You blink slowly, trying to digest his words, not sure if you've heard him right.

Sitting up, you stare at him, his lips pulled into the hint of a nervous smile that doesn't quite reach his dark, beautiful eyes.

"What?" You ask stupidly, still staring at him, brain whirring.

Seungmin clears his throat, looking away to glance down at the street once more. "I'm just saying. We spend all our free time together anyway, maybe we could-"

He trails off, and you're still staring.

Butterflies are starting to come to life in your stomach.

Is he-?

"Are you asking me to date you?" You ask incredulously, shock morphing across your features, even as your stomach swoops at the crazy notion.

Seungmin rolls his eyes and pins you with a stare. "Well, you don't have to say it like you think it's a repulsive idea-"

"I'm sorry!" You laugh, waving your hands, scooting closer to your own railing, so you can stare at him through the bars. "I didn't mean it to come out like that. I just didn't think-"

"Didn't think what?" Seungmin questions, encouraging you to continue.

You clear your throat, your cheeks hot, and drop his gaze, your tone softening. "You were into me like that. Like I'm into you."

There is a beat of silence, and then Seungmin laughs, loudly and slightly unhinged, and you jerk your eyes up to him in surprise.

"Oh my god." He gasps out, fingers gripping the railing, almost close enough to brush your own. He stares at you with open glee in his dark gaze. "You're into me?"

You huff, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, giving him a glare. "Of course I'm into you! I think I've been halfway in love with you since the first time we met and you opened the door looking like some sort of studious Greek Adonis!"

Seungmin laughs some more and you watch as he swipes at his eyes, catching his breath.

"Oh god." He huffs out another little chuckle, and glances back to you, eyes gleaming, mouth pulled up at the corners. "I did think it was a little weird, stress baking and needing sugar at almost midnight, but after you left that night, I couldn't get you out of my head. I kept hoping you'd come back to return my measuring cup, but you left it on my doorstep without knocking and I didn't think I'd see you again."

"And then I locked myself out." You giggle, realizing just how silly you'd both been up until this point.

"Yeah." Seungmin nods, expression warm and affectionate. He leans forward to put his hand through the bars of the railing, and you take it.

His fingers curl around yours, and warmth spreads through your body.

A mischievous look glints in his eyes suddenly.

"Hey, Four, think you can make the climb over the balcony just one more time? For old times sake?"

You arch your brow at him, biting back a smile. "What's in it for me, Six?"

He grins. "A kiss?"

You grin back and nod, already moving. "Yeah, I think I can brave it one more time for that."

********************************************************************************

Six(y) BF: Okay. Listen. You. Me. Dinner.

You: Go on. 👀

Six(y) BF: Dessert on the balcony.

You: OMG. Are you trying to turn me on at work or are you really just that oblivious? 🥵

Six(y) BF: And then. Hot, dirty couch sex. 😏

You: I'm in.✅

Six(y) BF: Don't say I don't know what you like. 😘

You: Honestly, you had me at dessert, but the sex thing definitely sealed the deal.

Six(y) BF: I knew it would. 😏

Be ready. I'll pick you up at 8 PM sharp.

You: Don't be late.

Six(y) BF: Wouldn't dream of it. 😘

You: 😘 Love you, Six. 💗

Six(y) BF: Gross.

Love you too, Four. 💗

[ctitan98official]

Anonymous: Ignore this if you want. For Alcina’s long lost child au. What if Miranda had found reader years later after they were put up for adoption? Like could you image the angst potential when Alcina realized she failed to protect reader? Lol why cant I ever let this be left nice? 😂 I just really love the potential angst for this au, so much to work with!

Yes! Now, this is interesting. I’m going to hc Y/N as a S.T.A.R.S member in Raccoon City. Just pretend the raid at the Spencer Mansion happens now instead of 1998. The plot points are pretty similar to the original au, except Miranda’s still alive and Y/N is in S.T.A.R.S. Alcina’s long lost child au here! Let’s get into it!

You had just been invited to join the elite S.T.A.R.S team and you were heading out on your first mission.

Jill Valentine was put in charge of your training and you’d already learned so much from her. She kindly reached over to pat your leg as you and the team were transported by helicopter to the old Spencer Mansion.

“How are you holding up?” She asked you.

You smile and blush… You might have a small crush on her. “I’m good. Together, we can get to the bottom of this mess.” You told her, hoping to seem in control and not flustered.

As the helicopter got to its destination and the team jumped out, something seemed off about the atmosphere in the Arklay mountains. The usual ambience of animals and birds was noticeably absent. A weird coppery smell also enveloped the area.

Just then, what looked like mutated dogs and zombified people started surrounding you and the team.

“Look alive!” Chris yelled and began shooting at them.

You all began firing your weapons and cutting down the undead horde in front of you.

After a few minutes of close combat, Wesker ordered everyone to save their ammo and retreat to the Spencer Mansion on foot.

You looked around and saw that an incoming zombie was about to attack Jill, so you provided cover fire and shoved her out of the way, making the creature focus on you instead.

“Make a break for it, everyone!” You yelled and shot an incoming zombie head-on. “I need to kill some of these faster sons of bitches! You won’t get far with them chasing you. Go now, while I’m distracting them!” You yelled.

Wesker seemed all too thrilled to let you sacrifice yourself, so he quickly made an exit to the mansion.

The remaining S.T.A.R.S. members couldn’t believe Wesker just abandoned you all like that and they were reluctant to leave you. But, you assured them that you would just stay long enough to create a diversion, then join up with them at the mansion.

Chris hollered at Jill, Barry, Rebecca, and Richard to get going. Finding out what was going on at the Spencer Mansion was of the utmost importance. The five sadly left you to fend off the undead by yourself, but not before Jill frantically tossed you some extra ammo and herbs.

You were doing alright at first, but in the foggy clearing ahead of you, a strange being seemingly materialized out of thin air.

You got distracted looking at the unknown entity and a zombie clawed and scratched you when it got too close. You yelped in pain as blood ran down your neck from the wound, but you kept shooting and making progress on the undead.

As the mysterious figure got closer, you realized that it was actually a statuesque blonde woman dressed in weird ceremonial attire.

She had an air of calm about her and waved her hand, causing weird plant-like appendages to sprout up from the ground and kill the rest of the zombies.

You couldn’t believe what you just saw and warily walked closer to the woman. “Hey, thanks for the save. How did you do that?” You asked, holding a hand on your neck to stem the bleeding.

The woman just laughs coldly. “A mother’s love is very powerful.” She tells you, smirking. “You are but an insignificant pawn in my truly brilliant plan, however, it is nice to finally meet my own child.” She says with a wicked grin.

“Wh-what? What are you-” You tried to ask, but the woman suddenly grabbed you by the neck and injected you with a needle.

——————————————————————————

You ended up in Mother Miranda’s lab and she tortured you with painful testing and experiments. She wanted to test both your affinity to the cadou and if your body would quickly regenerate and recover after injury. If your body responded positively, she hoped you would make a good vessel for her Eva.

It seemed like you were there for months, but in reality, it had only been a few weeks.

Miranda kept you in a nasty cell and hardly fed you or gave you water.

You had started to lose hope of ever escaping, but one day, that changed.

Miranda had been out all morning, to your great relief, and the lab was finally devoid of your tortured screaming. At least it was quiet and calm for once.

But, someone new entered the lab. She was easily the biggest person you’d ever seen. She was elegant and wore the finest clothing.

You didn’t want to draw attention to yourself, but she spotted you immediately.

“Yet another poor prisoner.” She said sympathetically, though seemingly resigned to your fate.

You had nothing to lose so you said hello to her. “Hi.” You offered in a small but conversational voice.

“Well, it talks.” She says and smirks as she makes her way closer to you.

“Uhh… Can I ask what you’re doing here?” You question. You hadn’t seen anybody except Miranda in the lab before.

The stranger smiles at your curiosity. “I’m here to drop something off for Mother Miranda. What about you, little mouse?”

“I’m not quite sure…” You say, furrowing your brows. “Mother Miranda is experimenting on me. She says I’m special.” You tell her.

Alcina raises an eyebrow at this. Miranda hasn’t been so interested in a single subject in a while. She feels a wave of sadness as she remembers that her own child was also one of Miranda’s obsessions.

“Special, hmm? I’m afraid that’s not a good quality to possess around Miranda.” Alcina says and rolls her eyes at the blonde’s lunacy. The Countess’s devotion to Miranda had been quickly snuffed out when she had to give her baby up because of her. The scientist-turned-priestess had ruined her life.

“Miranda keeps saying I’m her child or something and that’s why I’m useful to her. Is that like a cult thing?” You ask, hoping to gain some insight.

Alcina’s golden eyes go wide. She looks at you intently. “What did you say?” She asks in astonishment.

You’re surprised by Alcina’s reaction. “Well, I was just saying that Miranda keeps telling me that she’s my parent and I’m her kid. I don’t have any family, though. This whole village is pretty much a cult, right? Is this her attempt to indoctrinate me?”

Alcina feels her heart rate increase. You couldn’t be…? No, that’s not possible. Or is it? Alcina shakily clears her throat and bends down to your level. “Wh-what is your name, little one?” She asks. Alcina named you before sending you away, and now, she wanted to see if you really were hers. Your name was the only gift she could bestow onto you. Her tone as she asks you this is much gentler than it was when you first started your conversation.

You’re kind of freaked out by the intimidating woman’s sudden change in attitude. “Oh, um, my name’s Y/N. What’s your name?” You ask.

Alcina’s eyes immediately fill with tears. She brings a hand to cover her mouth as she lets out a sob. It really must be you… Her baby.

You begin to sweat at the woman’s weird reaction and timidly reach out to grab her hand and offer comfort. “Hey, it’s okay.” You tell her.

Alcina gently holds your hand and places it on her cheek, holding it there. Wow. She can’t believe it. You’re back after all this time. “Y/N…” She weeps and takes your hand to kiss your palm affectionately.

You blush profusely at the tall woman’s forward actions. “U-umm!” You stammer in embarrassment.

“Y/N, you’re safe with your mama, now. Okay? I’m going to get you out of here.” She promises through her heart-aching tears.

Wait. Did she just call herself your “Mama”? What the fuck? Where were all these “Parents” when you were growing up?

Before you have a chance to respond, Alcina easily rips the cell door open, consequences be damned.

Your eyes widen in disbelief. How did she do that?

Alcina kneels in front of the cell and opens her arms to you. “Y/N… I’m your birth mother. I didn’t give you up by choice, I swear to you, draga.” She confesses. “Please, come here, my darling.” She requests and motions you towards her.

Holy shit. This isn’t real. It can’t be… You’d given up on this fantasy of finding your mom long ago. But, what if it is true? You start to breathe heavily and your heart pounds in your chest. You dizzily make your way over to the giantess before your knees give out and you fall right into her awaiting arms.

Alcina cries as she holds you close and presses kisses all over your face.

Your tired body melts at the warmth of Alcina’s hold. You cautiously hug her back and feel tears of relief begin to fall. You finally feel safe. Your body shakes from the force of your hard sobs.

Alcina stands up and holds you in her arms while rubbing your back and soothing you. “It’s okay, little one. I’m right here, Y/N. Mama’s right here.” She whispers.

The vampiress is racked with guilt that she didn’t protect you well enough. How did Miranda even find you? Alcina is certain she’ll never truly get over this or forgive herself, but she stuffs the feelings down for the time being and focuses on comforting you. Her baby needs her.

Alcina just holds you and murmurs gently in your ear for a few minutes before she realizes that Miranda will be back soon. She’s got to get you out of here as fast as possible.

For now, she settles on bringing you back to the castle. She’ll figure out what to do next once you’re in less danger…

Note: I’ve got to break this into another part, but this was a blast! I hope you enjoyed it!

Masterlist

[writing-house-of-m]

Welcome to the Team

Wanda Maximoff x Reader x Jeff the landshark

Summary: Jeff meets the team

A/N: Here is part 2 of my Jeff AU. In celebration of today being a year since I first posted a fic there will be a double bill of Jeff! The final 1 year celebration request includes Jeff too so you can expect that later on. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this part, it's practically a crack!fic 😂

It is unusual for everyone to be sitting in the lounge area on a random Friday afternoon. But you have put it off for long enough so it is time to finally rip off the band-aid.

You are standing facing the group of heroes who are all looking at you expectedly with Wanda standing right behind you. You look over your shoulder and see her give you an encouraging smile, waiting for you to start talking.

Taking a breath, you begin. "Okay. I know you're all wondering why we've asked you here today." And before you can get anywhere the Avengers must think this is the cue to start a guessing game.

"Wanda's pregnant!" Tony exclaims.

Some of the quicker thinkers widen their eyes and reflexively look at you.

You point at him to quickly shut down the thought, "No."

"Really? There have been some weird noises coming from your room lately," Sam thinks aloud.

Once again you are stopped before you can comment.

"You're moving out together?" Bucky asks.

You're about to decline the accusation but then they all come flooding in.

"You finally proposed?" Natasha questions.

"Wanda proposed?" Steve opposes.

"Oh wow, I really thought it would be you to pop the question, Y/n. What a twist," Carol, who you don't even know why she is here, says.

"You got a dog?" Peter speaks with a hopeful look in his eye.

"A cat maybe?" Bucky decides to add his own input. Along with Bruce who follows with, "Perhaps a rabbit?"

You turn to see Wanda amused by the whole thing. Turning back around, you have to raise your voice to be heard, "QUIET!" This manages to restore some order to the meeting you called.

"Thank you," you relax. "None of you are right. Actually I guess Peter, Bucky and Bruce were close."

You see Peter raise his hand for a fist bump but Bruce mistakes it for a high five so it turns into an awkward closed hand around a fist situation. Bucky is too far from either of them to celebrate the small victory.

"There is a new addition to the compound, his name is Jeff," you announce.

"Who names a hamster 'Jeff'?" Peter asks.

"No way, it's going to be a parrot. Or some kind of bird right?" Clint 'The Hawkeye' Barton guesses.

Once again this starts off a new guessing game - What animal could it be?

"Monkey," "Raccoon," "Fox," "Guinea pig," "Chameleon," "Duck!"

You begin to question your life choices, how did you ever end up in this situation? Maybe you should have set this gathering up like a game show at least then it might have been fun for you too.

Instead of stopping them this time you take a seat until they hopefully tire themselves out.

"No, no. From the noises I heard it's definitely a goat," Sam remarks.

You decide it's hopeless when the discussion doesn't look like it will cease. Giving up the waiting game you nod your head to Wanda rolling your eyes, you can tell she is holding in her laughter for your sake.

She leaves the area and after a few moments she returns with Jeff. It is only when the pitter patter sound of footsteps close in do they realise you are no longer standing directly in front of them. Instead you are next to Wanda with a new being between you.

You could hear a pin drop now that everyone's gazes are fixed to the little guy.

"Everybody, this is Jeff," you introduce your new roommate.

The attention seems to make Jeff nervous, you don't know if he has ever had this many eyes on him. Possibly when he was captive in the lab. You realise this could be traumatic for him so you guide him to step behind you.

His two front feet grip your leg as he peers round to see everyone still looking at him.

Wanda sits on the floor close to him with a hand resting on the fin on his back. "It's okay Jeff, they're all friendly," she reassures him.

"Is that a fish with legs?" Clint asks, "Oh man, I was way off."

"He's a shark," you say matter-of-factly. When you see everyone's expression change to a worried or frightened one you clarify further in hopes to calm their nerves. "A landshark!"

It doesn't work.

"Y/n, what the hell is a landshark? You better start explaining and fast," Natasha all but threatens you. You can see one of her hands has disappeared behind her back meaning she is defensively readying a knife behind her.

"He's not harmful, he's really friendly," you say. Then you remember some things you have read about sharks so are quick to add, "Also sharks are misconstrued as being vicious when they're actually not. They get a bad rep even though they're basically puppies of the ocean. Did you know, more people are killed each year by coconu-"

"Y/n!" Natasha interrupts.

"Right," you say, gathering your thoughts and glancing down at him. "He's nice and friendly and really playful. A bit of a clutz too. We've had him hidden in our room for about two weeks now."

This seems to bring Tony's attention away from the shark to you, "Oh really? And you didn't think to mention this to the person who pays for everything around here?"

"We were going to tell you after the first night he stayed but didn't bother because we didn't think he would be here for this long. Dr Cho was trying to get a specialist in to take a look at him but there were delays," Wanda momentarily takes over for you.

"Oh, so Cho knows. That's great," Tony comments sarcastically, "as well as the specialist, right?"

"Yes. Plus two others who work with the specialist," you add much to Tony's dismay.

Jeff seems to be a bit more comfortable because he has come out from behind you. He tugs on your pant leg wanting to be picked up by you so you oblige and feedback to the group what you have found out so far.

"They finally looked him over a couple of days ago. No one knows where he has come from or why he looks the way he does. The working theory is that he was experimented on which fits with what Wanda saw in a flash the first time she came in contact with him."

Jeff starts squirming in your arms so you nod to Wanda to continue while you try to settle Jeff by whispering words of affirmation to him. Telling him none of these people will hurt him as you rub up and down his back.

"From the tests and interacting with him so far he seems to be able to understand us and in addition to being able to breathe air he can breathe underwater too. The more time we spend with him the easier it has been to communicate," Wanda finishes, while she scratches under Jeff's chin which helps calm his nerves.

Everyone looks on in silence as Jeff pulls away from you slightly. You speak in a low tone asking if he wants to say hi to the team. Which, reluctantly, he agrees to.

There is a strong bond between you, even if it hasn't been too long since you found him, so he knows he can trust anyone you want to introduce him to.

You go to place him on the ground but he whines a little while clutching your shirt. Instead, you stand back up and he turns in your arms facing the expecting crowd.

He raises his little hand in a wave speaking in a small voice, "Mrr."

In a second everybody's eyes soften and you hear a collective 'aww' sound out.

Maybe you should have started with this.

They are all about to rush over but you stop them from doing so with a hand out in front of you while taking a step back. Wanda moves swiftly standing between the incoming horde and Jeff.

"One at a time," she requests.

Peter makes his way over first and greets Jeff introducing himself.

It definitely must be a sight, all of this.

A young couple holding a shark as if he is a baby. It is only inevitable that someone asks, "So, is Jeff like your child then?"

And of course that person has to be Natasha.

…

The Jeff you are looking at now is unrecognisable to the Jeff from half an hour ago. He has lossened right up.

After everyone introduced themselves Peter decided to show Jeff his web slingers and, against yours and Wanda's wishes, hung Jeff upside down from the ceiling. The excited noise and wide smile was enough to make you step back. But not too far back just enough, in case you needed to catch him.

After that he spent some time with Carol who showed him a glowing fist. Natasha smirked at Wanda and you as she twirled a knife around her fingers, Bucky doing the same which turned into a contest.

When they weren't looking you picked him up and moved him away from the crazy movements.

As the only member with kids Clint simply spoke to him like he was a baby, Steve said he didn't have any tricks for him but maybe one day he would show Jeff his shield. Sam asked Jeff if he wanted to pet Redwing which he happily did.

Even now Tony has been playing tricks with him, making a coin disappear then reappear from behind Jeff's ear. He had to borrow a coin from someone first, it would have been more surprising if Tony had any small change on his person to begin with.

Next is Bruce who tells Jeff there is someone else he should meet then transforms into the Hulk. Jeff looks at the green giant in wonder then puts his arms up to be picked up so he can be the tallest in the room. When Hulk sees Jeff he crouches down so he is eye level with Jeff, sniffing and surveying him. He chuckles, calls Jeff 'a puny baby' then picks him up and places the landshark on his head.

Shortly after everyone takes their leave. Clint is on his way home to his family, Natasha goes to train with Bucky following behind her. A Hulk-less Bruce returns to the lab with Tony. Steve, Sam and Carol are discussing a mission they are assigned to lead and Peter says he has some homework he needs to finish.

"What a day huh Jeff?" You breathe out, exhausted. Jeff looks at you like a small child while trotting around, jumping on the couches and back onto the floor excited about all the new friends he has made.

"I think Jeff is going to be just fine here," Wanda says to you as you both watch him, side by side.

"Hello good people of Earth!" You hear a familiar loud voice sound from the entrance disturbing your peace. And when he makes it in front of you, he is his usual happy self.

"Hi Thor... What are you doing here?" You ask, confused.

"I'm here for the meeting, of course," Thor says in his cheery voice.

"I didn't know you were on the mailing list," you say a little tiredly trying to think back to the email you sent out.

"I didn't know he knew how to check his email," you hear Wanda's side comment next to you.

"Well, I am the strongest Avenger after all," Thor boasts, "I should be here for all the little talks and what nots."

"Right," you say a little unsurely. "Err, the meeting is over now but it was to introduce a new resident to the compound."

You see him spot Jeff who peeks his head over the backrest between you and Wanda. He is looking at Thor in awe with his mouth agape much like he did when he saw Hulk.

As he climbs over the back rest you stand and Jeff stands next to you in front of Thor his head tilting back as he trails his eyes upwards from the hammer Thor is holding to his face.

"This is Jeff," Wanda says.

"Jeff the landshark," you add.

Thor has seen plenty of creatures in his lifetime so it's no surprise he doesn't react in a negative way. "Oh, how wonderful! Welcome to the team, little landshark!" Thor's voice booms excitedly.

You don't get a chance to tell Thor that Jeff is not a part of the team, only that he is staying with you in the compound because, before you know it, he lifts Jeff onto his shoulder and walks away with him.

Sighing heavily you place your hands on your hips when you hear Thor talking about a battle, going into excruciating details about how he killed a group of enemies. You are a little wary of how Jeff is going to respond to the gory details of war.

Wanda stands and moves behind you. She wraps her arms around your waist, kissing your shoulder. "He-" Wanda was about to say something but is cut off short when you both hear an excited squeal from Jeff in the distance so she rests her chin and giggles against you instead.

"I was going to say he's going to love whatever story Thor brings up, but that's kind of obvious now," she says, smiling into your shoulder.

You sigh again, "I know. But now he's going to want us to talk about all the fights we've endured and I don't think it's good for him."

Next, you hear some scuffling making you cringe because it sounds as though some equipment has fallen and crashed to the ground. Not long later you hear the sound of fast little footsteps making their way in your direction.

Then you hear Thor shout, "JEFF! GIVE THAT BACK."

Well this can't be good.

Before you can move from your spot Jeff runs past you with Mjolnir clutched in his mouth. Wanda has stepped beside you and when you glance at each other you see she holds the same shocked expression as you.

You both then turn to see Jeff's figure running out of the entrance doors. Wanda is clearly amused but you speak aloud the question on your mind, "How is he worthy and I'm not?" You ask, insulted.

Wanda wraps her arms around your neck, her fingers playing with your hair, "It's okay honey, you don't need a hammer telling you anything I don't already know."

She is leaning in to kiss you but a new voice enters your ears.

"Sestra! Come look! There's a dog in a shark costume out here!" Pietro exclaims, "And he's holding a fake hammer too!"

It is official.

Jeff has met the whole team.

[mrs-monaghan]

i saw you mention it briefly in a previous post and wondered if you happen to have any examples of jimin acting jealous related to jk

i can’t think of even one instance of it happening jimin has such a good poker face

Finally!! Getting to this ask. Sorry i kept you waiting my dear. Lets get to it.

Disclaimer: My word is not law. I can only point out what I picked up. Its up to you to form your own opinions. You don't have to see what I see 😘

To start us off would be the most recent.

Army: I'm Taehyung's wife

Jimin: Hello Taehyung's wife

Army: Hi, I'm Jhope's wife

Jimin: Hello Jhope's wife.

Army: Hi, I'm Jungkook's wife.

Jimin:

Mans really said "no the fuck you're not. You can call yourself JK's wife but I'm the one who knows what he's doing not you." 😂😂😂 No, but this was funny.

Next we're gonna talk about HOME. But before we do that. Let's understand something. Jikook have these exclusive things they do to/for eo and they prefer if it stays that way. A good example would be Jimin touching JK's chin. It's a Jikook thing or rather used to be, because sometimes in the past u would catch Jimin side eyeing another member when they did it. He's always done it from the beginning and other members started doing it too. But I think Jimin is over it now. Doesn't care anymore. But it did used to bother him. Another example would be the boxing. It's a Jikook thing and they (mostly JK) prefers it that way. We've seen him refuse to play box with V. I even touched on him debunking V here when V said they box together. It's a Jikook thing. Alright? Which brings us to HOME.

As we all know there is that one part where Jikook usually sing to each other during HOME.

My favourite is this one 🥺🥺

If you don't believe it's a Jikook thing, look at how JK reacted when Jimin sang to Army instead of singing to him. Here is an even better angle. He wasn't impressed. He was looking forward to it, only for Jimin to sing to Army 🤭

All duos have designated moments during songs. Here is angry Jin pulling Jimin away from a Taejin moment. (Sorry if u can't access tiktok. Tumblr only allows one video at a time) So this theory is not too far fetched.

Okay now let's get to the Jimin being annoyed part. Not jealous, annoyed. Its important we differentiate these 2 words. He wasn't jealous of V...he was just annoyed that it happened.

Okay. So first lets look at the Jikook moment. Which i love.

And then we look at the Taekook moment.

Why does V always look at members like they're a 5 course meal he's 2 seconds away from devouring? Damn. Anyway, I'd tell you to watch Jimin but that's not the best angle. You see his reaction better from the Jimin fancam.

Yeah... he wasn't impressed either.

Next we're gonna go back to Army proposing to JK. The infamous "Jungkook marry me" I bet JK regretted bringing that up the moment he started getting grilled. Mans really got the 3rd degree 😂😂 And you can see the exact moment Jimin was like; wtf I'm i doing?

Right before leaving to go off camera, looking all embarrassed. That shit was hysterical. Really 😂😂

Next we have JK calling RM sexy.

Jimin rubbing his face like that read to me like "this again?" And I wouldn't have thought anything of it but then he went and repeated the word "sexy" when JK said it which had me 🤔🤔🤔

Next we have this Run Bts episode. I will share Cameron's dubbed version because why not? 😂😂😂😂 JK even tried to make Jimin feel better. Yes, he was doing his mission but why not kill 2 birds with one stone?

Then we have the Busan concert. He wasn't jealous. He wasn't even annoyed. But he was watching them. He took notice. Jimin does it often when it comes to Tkk. He doesn't react, but he pays attention. Idk how to explain it. But he watches them, if that makes sense.

Next one is actually quite popular anon. I'm surprised you've never seen people talk about it. Again I will share the dubbed version because I play too much.

Aaah. Fine. Here is the original for the boring people 🙄 Watch Jimin's face when JK smiles at him. Then JK immediately lets go of V. Though he does it again, coz he can be a brat sometimes. But y'all get it.

These two Jinkook and Yoonkook moments are not even up for debate. It's pretty freaking clear. And yes. I will use the word jealousy for these ones.

This one is heartbreaking. I prefer when Jimin is angry. I do not like him sad. It's just... 😭😭😭

This one too. My heart breaks every single time.😪😪😪

You can watch this entire compilation if u feel like it. I find it mostly accurate. (Mostly. Not all) But watch this part. Jimin is watching Namkook on the viewfinder. Did you see him look away as soon as JK looked up? Why? Hmmm 🤭🤭

Now this one he was not just bothered but actually got angry. Like fucking pissed.

Thanks @astutejiminie for coming through. This video is absolute gold. They start reacting at 36:24. It's where it all starts unfolding.

(Keep an eye on Jimin touching his nose. That's usually a sign with him)

So we have V caressing JK's hair for a long ass time. And we have Jimin hating it. We hear him clear his throat abnoxiously at some point which is when JK notices and tries to like sit up and pull away from V. But as usual V doesn't get the memo and continues to touch. Eventually when they finish, Jimin stands up so aggressively that his chair flies back and then storms off before they have even wrapped up. Idk what it was about this day but Jimin got proper angry about the touching.

Another time Jimin didn't like V touching JK was during this live. He even banged his cup on the floor.

I recommend this analysis of that Dynamite BB hot 100 live/JK's birthday and what was really going on with JK staring at Jimin. Jimin had an issue with all the skinship on this day. That analysis does a good job of explaining why. Give it a go.

This here anon, is what I call the Holy grail. Jimin wanted to kill this army. Well, that's an exaggeration but still, if looks could kill, this Army would have gone up in smoke. So this girl goes to JK and calls his name in this cutesy tone. And watch Jimin. That, is some scary shit right there. 👀 I'd have ran and never come back 🙈

Damn this post got long and these aren't even all of them. I am too hungry to go get this link. So I will describe this moment and u see if it rings a bell or u can go search for it. Run BTS Canada. Jin sits next to JK and Jimin makes him move. He was like "That's my chair" and Jin immediately took off.

This cute winter package moment where Jimin slots himself between Jinkook. I don't think this is part of the list. I just like that moment 🤭🤭🤭

I gotta go eat. So this is all I have for now. Cheers! 🥂🥂

[604to647]

The Wedding (Drabble)

Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

A/N: What if I never finish the “main” fic and just write one-shots and drabbles in this AU (Series Masterlist)? What then? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 Anyways, in the AU, Din used to be an enforcer for the Fett Family (now he owns and runs a boxing gym where the mob guys hang/work out 🥊) Let’s go to a Mob wedding! 🙌🏻

Warnings: 18+ content (MDNI please), no smut (but promises of?), established relationship, no implied age gap, dirty talk and pet names (baby, pretty girl, pretty bird, reader calls Din "Daddy" once).

Word count: 860

It wasn’t every day that the niece of one Don married the son of another. 

Security teams from both families had been working tirelessly, and almost miraculously, together for the past few months to make sure the wedding went off without a hitch. Even top dogs like Din who were technically out of the game had been called in to consult and strategize, all so that both sides of the aisle could celebrate without the threat of any bad blood spilling.  To everyone’s happy surprise, the celebratory spirit had been infectious and all evening long, new and old bonds of camaraderie were made and cemented with good food and even better music.

With the happy couple having had their honeymoon send off and the evening almost over for most, it would be particularly brazen for someone to try something now.

And yet, there’s a disturbance that’s only getting louder emanating from the reception hall that the venue staff is trying to take down.  It’s probably nothing that can’t be handled quickly, but Din doesn’t want you to be near if things turned ugly.

“Pretty bird, I need you to let Jimmy take you home while I go take care of this.  Can you do that for me?”

You’re already wrapped in Din’s arms; it was a lovely wedding, but you’ve missed him.  Although he was a guest, he had also been working during the event and tended to his security responsibilities throughout the evening.  You wouldn’t have much minded the lack of dancing or him disappearing at random points during the reception if he didn’t look so fucking hot tonight.  With his arms still tight around your waist, you lean away to run your hands over the dark suit jacket that hugs his broad shoulders so snugly, feeling his muscular arms underneath you let out a deep sigh.  From the moment you had spotted him when you walked into the venue foyer earlier, he had taken your breath away.  You were stopped mid-stride by the sight of him filling out his perfectly tailored black suit, going over security plans with the Don’s men; when you saw him point to the floor plans, the silver rings he wore on his thick fingers came into view and you had immediately felt heat pooling between your legs.  You remember that he had looked up at that exact moment and caught you practically drooling; you're sure he’s been purposefully teasing you all evening ever since. 

It started during the ceremony and later the reception, Din had systematically inched his hand higher and higher up the thigh slit of your dress every time he was seated next to you.  While mingling during the stand-up cocktail hour, his hand had felt hot on the small of your back, occasionally dipping lower to palm your ass when he thought no one was looking.  That was to say nothing of all the low whispers in your ear throughout the night, ranging from sweet compliments to dirty ramblings that made you blush.  Dipping his lips just below your earlobe, Din’s trimmed facial hair would graze your jaw so lightly it made your skin prickle.

“Look so gorgeous tonight, pretty girl.  What a lucky guy I am, having you on my arm.”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to look so sexy in that dress, baby.  Gonna have to punish you for it later tonight.” 

“You’re driving me so fucking crazy, pretty bird.  My cock has been leaking for you all night.”

And of course, you had teased him right back.  Dragging your nails with feather light touches up and down the back of his neck and toying with the curls at the base of his neck whenever he sat down next to you.  Slipping your hands under the front of his suit jacket and raking your fingers possessively over his stomach, then discretely tucking your fingers into the waistband of his dress pants while making polite small talk with other guests during cocktail hour.  You would rest your head in the crook of his neck and coo back all sorts of compliments and longings of your own.

“Din, this suit makes you look like a brickhouse, fits you so perfectly.”

“Can’t wait to feel your weight on me, baby.  My panties are soaked just thinking about being underneath you.”

“I want to suck those rings right off your fingers, daddy.”

That last one had Din threatening to bend you over the dinner table and take you in front of all the other guests right then and there.

Din looks as pained as you feel about the prospect of delaying going home and fulfilling all the dirty promises you had exchanged over the course of the evening.  Running your fingers through his combed-back hair before cupping his face, you plant a chaste kiss on his lips and nod in assent to his request.  “Please be safe, baby.  Come home soon?  I’ll be waiting for you, Din.”  You look up at him, doe eyed and desperate.

Din pulls you in for a greedy goodbye kiss, and whispers low so only you can hear, “Keep that pretty dress on, sweetheart.  I want to be the one to take it off of you tonight.”

Part 2

[violetganache42]

Highlights from tonight's movie night celebrating some of the different teams Donald has been a part of in categorized and chronological order (I honestly like this format. I might stick with it):

"Boat Builders":

Good news: The short has subtitles! Bad news: They're not in English, so you still can't understand what the fuck Donald is saying.

Donald: "Yeah, even a child can do it!" Godfrey: "Even Della could do it!"

justaboot: "god's third choice after the 3 stooges"

Max's mother has been found

"The First Adventure!":

Bradford Hate Club

Ludwig appearance!

puffywuffy8904: "he's serving whatever the opposite of cunt is" WriteBackAtYa: "So di—"

(I love this screenshot. 😂)

The reference to Della's letter

WriteBackAtYa and I being on the same wavelength

Eat the rich uncle (Sorry, Scrooge, but I had to. XD)

"You can't mute me, old man!"

RIP Donald's guitar

The Temple of Doom parallel!

PAPYRUS

"Treasure of the Golden Suns" easter egg!

"fragile old body"

POGO CANE

Black Heron doing the smug anime girl laugh (You know what I'm talking about.)

"I'm the chosen one!" Pure Deweycore

"So long, suckers!"

Just Black Heron in general (She's a fun villain. lol)

DONALD KILL

Us ranting about Bradford using the Papyrus of Binding to escape like the COWARD THAT HE IS! WHY WE OUGHTA— COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE—

If I had a nickel for every time Black Heron lost her robot arm, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Me: "BEAKLEY YOU FOOL" Godfrey: "YOU FUCKING FOOOOOOOOL"

"The House of the Lucky Gander!":

Louie "I do hate hot dogs" Duck noticing the neon lights shaped like a hot dog

"We're all gonna die! I'VE WASTED MY LIFE!"

Launchpad deserves his own episode dedicating to his love life

Gladstone Hate Club

Scrooge looking at the camera like he's on The Office

puffywuffy8904: "gladstone you have a haircut shut up"

Huey autism moment

Just how bored and tired Dewey, Webby, and Scrooge were after seeing Aquarioon

Dewey and the jade tigers

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

27!

Webby's love for chocolate fountains

"And a distraction."

Scrooge: "I don't even get to be part of the blasted challenge?" Huey:

Real-Life-Pine-Tree: "Roasted duck anyone?" Me: "'Danny: I'll have the duck.'"

Louie's motivational speech

"Where did that come from?"

Us @ Liu Hai: RIP bozo (at least until DuckTales World Showcase Adventure)

The underwhelming Golden Cricket and how fucking bored and exhausted the family was

"Mt. Fuji Whiz":

LotTC basically being DuckTales on crack

Me: "Hell is a city. Where have I seen that before? 🤔" Godfrey: "Hazbin Hote—[gunshot]"

My idea of Clinton and Webby bonding over Clan McDuck history

Missy thirsting for Panchito

The return of the Ari the Autism Bird!

Xandra and the nieces in general (They're some of the best characters in the show. ^^)

*The Three Caballeros are stuck in the Underworld* AMJ: "We have a very simple solution." DT17!Huey: "This doesn't feel simple."

Jack Skellington moon

Donald saying the Karen phrase

Xandra and Charon clothes swap

Panchito being "that" guy

The Sheldgoose family tree taking notes from Goofy's family tree regarding the relatives' designs

IN THE PLUMS!

Clinton hugging Donald 💖

Tokyo? LIKE IN DUCKTALES!

"Potatoland":

Dreamy: "SEE HE HAS 27 FINGERS" Me: "27!"

POTATOLAND! POTATOLAND!

"Mickey, I am fed up with your bullshit devil magic."

Praising Mickey's characterization in the Paul Rudish shorts

Donald's blush

No more Idaho

Just the whole short in general. It's the best. XD

"Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers":

Black Arts Beagle's Musketeer cousins

puffywuffy8904: "they wanna be Scrooge soooo bad"

Donald being, and I quote Jamie, "a punk bitch" in this movie

The return of Pete Hate Club

"Whoa, he's bisexual, I didn't know that!"/"By the way, I'm bisexual! I forgot, I- forgot to announce it! How do you turn this shit off- wait-"

The entire opera gag

Clarabelle appearance!

Dreamy pointing out the parallels how Pete is to Minnie what Bradford is to Scrooge

In the Hall of the Mountain King

"Why did the music stop?"

"Together, we'll save the princess or die trying!"/"…Die? …Die?"

melcat33: "Minnie discovers she's into bdsm"

WriteBackAtYa and I quoting Philip CD-i Legend of Zelda

The turtle trying to be the rooster from Robin Hood at one point

"That little diddy's starting to grow on me."

Pete referencing The Lion King

Donald FINALLY unleashing his iconic temper

melcat33: "Goofy finally being Dad Material" WriteBackAtYa: "But he was daddy material"

(Look what you made me do! /lh)

Pirates of Penzance

"Not long… maybe… 40 years?"

The movie ending with the fucking Can-Can

Learning about how Tokyo Disneyland had Mickey, Donald, and Goofy as the Three Musketeers and they all looked AMAZING (Why does Japan get all the cool shit?!)

[soulmatesyuumori]

YUUMORI MUSICAL OP. 1

SHERLIAM FIRST MEETING

I really loved the musical, because it adds a lot to the story and they show the character’s feelings more openly. So obviously, sherliam first meeting makes them look like they are about to kiss (and Louis was standing there, for some reason???? LOL)

It starts with Sherlock making his deduction of William in a song, and then William follows with his own. I loved how they efusively walked around each other while doing so, as if they were birds in a mating dance.

William doesn’t hide how much fun he’s having there, and Sherlock is speechless. I think they told Sherlock’s actor “this is the moment when Sherlock falls in love” because he then shows this face:

At least manga!Sherlock hid it better in that moment.

Liam looks so flustered ❤

And the scene doesn’t end there like the manga, it continues with Sherlock immediately getting excited, explaining that he’s there to solve a mystery about a secret room in that ship, and prattles about it to William.

He even tries to convince him to join him and give him his opinion.

This is my absolute favorite part:

He’s there following William’s eyes and waiting for his response like a besotted idiot. Someone help him, please, he’s so gone 😭

And of course, this is the moment where William decides to play hard to get.

Poor Sherly 😭😂

At least he kept him a little longer with a song about the suspicious things he noticed around him so far. Then they had to say their goodbyes.

The flirting is so shameless here, I love it 😭

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Oh i have a modern sihtric idea! Animal carer Sihtric where he's not the biggest fan of animals but all animals enjoy his company. He can handle grumpy cats and bratty birds while Finan only gets along with happy cheerful excited dogs. Uhtred gets hissed at all the time😂

Warnings: mention of an evil parrot.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: see request and: You work in an animal shelter and, against your will, you're suddenly working with three new men.

Word count: 3,1k

Note: the ending is rather open. I felt this story would either have a rushed ending if I tried to wrap it up or it would become waaaay too long. And I guess I also left the option open to possibly return to this if anyone seems to enjoy it. This was just a little fun thing to write!

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us

'The parrot is right.'

********************

'You want me to deal with that bunch?' you grimaced at the sight of two strange men on the other side of the room, 'why me?'

'You've been here the longest, apart from me, but I don't have the time to teach them. Nor the patience,' your boss, Thyra, admitted.

'Oh, and I have?'

'I hope so.'

'Who are they and why are they even here?'

You watched Thyra flip some papers on her clipboard.

'That guy on the left, his name is Uhtred. What a strange name. Anyway, the Irish man is called Finan and… there should be another guy named Sihtric, but he hasn't shown up yet. Big surprise,' she sighed, 'but they'll be here only a few days… for community service.'

'What?!' 

'I know, I know! I didn't want them at first either, but it's nothing bad. I mean, nothing to be scared of.'

'What on earth did they do?'

'Apparently,' Thyra giggled, 'they stole a holy relic from a church and they got caught.'

'You're kidding?' you started to laugh.

'I knew you'd be amused at that,' she grinned.

'But how did they end up here? This is an animal shelter, shouldn't they volunteer at that church?'

'That was the plan, but the church doesn't want them. And since we need the help, I accepted the request. So,' Thyra patted you on the back, 'good luck!'

'Well, thanks,' you scoffed.

'Oh,' Thyra stopped at the door, 'they always show you a picture of the people who come to work, so they can't send someone else in their place, and,' she paused to give you a smile, 'I hope that other guy shows up. I think he's your type,' she winked, 'he has tattoos.'

'What? What is that supposed to mean?!' you called after her, but she only gave you another wink and left.

********************

'Okay, so, now that you know who I am and what we do here, are you two ready?' you smiled.

Finan nodded and Uhtred gave you a hesitant smile.

'Okay, let's go. Uhtred, you can clean the enclosures. Finan, I think you'll do good helping my colleague, feeding the animals.'

You sent both men on their way and quickly noticed that Finan was good with overly excited dogs, and you chuckled when you figured that Finan actually had the same energy. As for Uhtred… well, let's just say Uhtred tried. Uhtred did his job well, it was just that the animals didn't seem to like him. You told Uhtred that animals can sense fear, to which Uhtred quickly said he wasn't scared. But you saw the terror in his eyes when he faced that one vile parrot that had been in the shelter for years already, and you expected Uhtred to gain a few more scars the next couple of days.

You let them do their job and went back to your own duty, walking a few dogs. But before you could leave, you were stopped as a handsome man entered the shelter, looking sleepy and a little lost. You saw his face had a couple of scars and soon your eyes spotted a tattoo in his neck, and you figured this was probably the guy Thyra told you about.

'H-hi,' you stammered when he looked at you, 'can I… can I help you?'

'Eh,' the man smiled and a rosy colour appeared on his cheeks, 'I- I'm here for my community service.'

'Oh!' you blushed too, 'yeah, I was told we, eh, were missing one guy.'

You held out your hand and introduced yourself, albeit with a lot of tripping over your words, and the blushing man seemed to have the same issue.

'Nice to - to meet y-you. I- I'm Sihtric, lady.'

'Sihtric,' you smiled, still holding his hand, which he didn't seem to realise either, and your eyes darted over his toned arms, 'you're like an animal, I mean, I mean… you, d-do you like animals?'

'I actually do not, lady, not really,' he chuckled lightly, still holding your hand, 'I apologise.'

'Well… maybe, maybe you'll learn to l-like them… or something,' you felt yourself get lost in his eyes once you noticed they were two different colours. You only snapped out of your trance when you heard Finan mimic the bark of a very happy golden retriever, and you finally let go of Sihtric's hand. You both looked away and cleared your throat while looking red in the face.

'S-so I was about to walk the dogs. M-maybe you could help with that? We have a-a great Dane, a lovely dog, but huge and doesn't really listen. He dragged me over the street once already, so maybe you,' you looked at Sihtric's muscular arms again and sighed when you thought about how he would have to flex those while walking the dog, 'y-you could…maybe, flex- I mean help! H-help with that dog.'

'I, eh, I suppose,' Sihtric chuckled.

********************

When you just started your walk with the dogs, the great Dane was overly excited and Sihtric really had to showcase his strength to not let the dog escape, but he did it with grace. And it made you weak to your knees. Luckily, soon all dogs seemed to calm down, especially the great Dane, and the dog didn't seem to stray far from Sihtric, and if he did, Sihtric would whistle and the dog obeyed immediately. You didn't even know the dog could do that.

'I can't believe he's actually calm,' you smiled in disbelief, 'who are you, the dog whisperer? He really seems to like you.'

Sihtric chuckled and patted the great Dane on his head, 'I don't know,' he smiled, 'maybe it's because we're both Danes,' he joked.

'You're a Dane?'

'I am, lady. Maybe the dog knows,' he winked, 'and… I guess I might be a little fond of him as well.'

'Really?' you raised an eyebrow, 'and a few hours ago you told me you didn't like animals.'

Sihtric shrugged with a sly smile and continued to pet the dog. You looked at them and thought how Sihtric would be the perfect person to adopt this dog. They say dogs tend to resemble their owners, and that's exactly what you saw. The dog's fur was smooth and dark, he was well built, friendly but clumsy, shy at first but curious and simply won over your heart in no time. And Sihtric, with his dark, long hair tied together, his muscular body and his dazzling smile gave you the same energy.

'What's his name?' Sihtric asked, crouched down next to the dog.

'Oh, sorry, I never told you. It's Thor.'

'It is?' Sihtric's eyes grew big and looked up at you. Then he looked back at the dog and reached into his shirt. He pulled out his necklace and clutched it in his hand. You weren't sure why, it was only moments later when Sihtric got back up that you saw his pendant. Thor's hammer. And you couldn't help but smile.

*******************

When you and Sihtric got back to the shelter it was almost time for the men to leave already. You placed the dogs back in their enclosures and took out one of the recently brought in kittens. You had grown fond of the little thing and simply couldn't leave her alone. You held the cat in your arms while you thanked the men for doing their jobs today and looked forward to seeing them tomorrow, and unless they wished to stay longer today, they could go home now. Finan, with his thick accent, told you how he had loved the dogs and was excited to come back again. Uhtred, who was hissed and scratched at, gave you a polite but fake smile and mumbled that he'd see you again tomorrow. The two men left while Sihtric seemed to linger around a little longer before he awkwardly walked over to you.

'I, eh, I- I was wondering if, if maybe I could, eh,' he stammered, 'I- I just wonder how it would work if I were to, you know, want to look into … adopting a pet.'

'Really?' you smiled widely, 'eh, it requires some paperwork and rules, but, I-I can tell you some stuff about it tomorrow, if you like?

'Yeah, yeah,' Sihtric blushed, 'I-I'd like that.'

'Me too,' you felt your own cheeks reddened too, and you both quickly focused your attention on the kitten in your arms, 'would you like to hold her?' you blurted out.

'I-I don't think I'm good with animals,' Sihtric said.

'Are you sure?' you chuckled, 'you seemed great today. Here,' you said and handed him the young cat, 'try.'

Sihtric tensed up and awkwardly took the cat in his arms. The cat, however, seemed completely at ease rather fast and nestled against his chest as he held her. You almost squealed at the sight of Sihtric, the muscular "thief", with Freya, the white fluffy kitten, all cuddled up in his arms. And you saw Sihtric slowly relax and his face softened into a shy smile when he chuckled.

'I think animals just love you,' you said as you stepped closer to pet Freya.

'It seems,' Sihtric smiled, watching Freya while you petted her. As you petted the kitten, you accidentally brushed your fingers against Sihtric's arm.

'Oh, sorry,' you blushed and looked up at him, to find he was already looking at you, and you both stopped breathing for a moment when you locked eyes. You could just kiss him right there, and you felt he thought the same when you saw his eyes trail down to your lips. But then Thyra walked in and you both took a step back quickly.

'H-hey,' you greeted her and cleared your throat, pretending to look for something that wasn't there while you tried to hide your red cheeks. But you were lucky that Freya drew all the attention to her right away, so you didn't have to feel awkward much longer. 

Eventually Sihtric brought Freya to her enclosure, and you saw how he stopped by Thor, the great Dane, to pet him before walking back over to you.

'I was actually thinking,' Sihtric mumbled slightly, 'maybe… maybe you could, if-if you want, m-maybe explain the adopting procedure to me, eh, while y-you maybe get a-a, a drink with me?'

Sihtric quickly looked down at his feet and sighed, feeling he completely fucked that up.

'Oh,' you said softly and felt flustered again, 'I-I would actually… like that, but… I-I have to work here until later tonight.'

'Oh,' Sihtric said and shook his head, 'no, it's okay. I-I understand.'

'But,' you quickly said, 'maybe… I mean, if the offer is still standing tomorrow, then I-I'd like to, to get a drink with… you, yes.'

******************

The next morning you were anxious to see Sihtric again. You had agreed to get a drink together after work, but you still felt he might cancel it. There was no way he could be interested in you, you thought. And as you arrived at the shelter, usually being the first to do so, you found Sihtric, smoking a cigarette, while waiting for you near the entrance.

'My type,' you muttered in your car as you studied his side profile, 'you're not wrong, Thyra, I just wish he didn't smoke,' you chuckled to yourself before you got out.

'Sihtric?' you smiled, 'you're early. And also you can't smoke here,' you grinned.

'Oh,' he chuckled, 'sorry, lady.' And he threw the cigarette away before he turned to face you.

'Oh, god!' you said when you saw his hair, 'what happened to you?' you snorted, 'I mean, oh, sorry, I don't mean it badly! I-I just… I didn't… expect this to…,' you coughed slightly.

'It's fine,' Sihtric chuckled and rolled his eyes, 'I actually only wanted to shave the sides, but I messed up. I either had to go completely bald or,' he shrugged, 'make the most of this.'

'Oh, god,' you snorted again and took a step closer, inspecting his half shaved head. You saw he had a small braid with beads in it, and on the other side of that braid he still had his longer curls, 'Actually,' you smiled with a blush, 'it's kinda cool.'

'You don't have to lie, lady,' Sihtric laughed.

'I would never,' you said and couldn't help but look away and bite down on your lip. Goddamnit, you thought, he looks really good.

********************

After Finan and Uhtred arrived later, and had finally stopped laughing at Sihtric's haircut, you put them all to work again. Today Finan was to walk the dogs with a colleague, and because Uhtred had taunted Sihtric the most, you told Uhtred he was to feed the evil parrot again, much to his disgrace. 

You nudged Sihtric and told him to watch. You both stood at safe distance while Uhtred closed in on the parrot's cage.

'You're a good bird,' Uhtred kept saying, to which you and Sihtric already giggled. You watched Uhtred cautiously open the enclosure, and just as you expected, the parrot started screaming curse words to Uhtred.

'Did he just call me arseling?' Uhtred yelled back to you.

'The parrot is right,' Sihtric whispered to you, and you both couldn't stop laughing while Uhtred kept being cursed at by the hostile bird. After a few minutes you thought it was enough and told Sihtric you'd help Uhtred, but Sihtric was quick to offer his help too.

'Are you sure? The bird is pure evil,' you laughed, 'I'm serious.'

'I'm sure,' Sihtric smiled, and you beckoned him to follow you.

'Okay, try to get him out then. We need to clean the cage,' you told Sihtric.

Uhtred quickly stepped away and you told him he should go and feed the rest of the animals, you'd take care of the bird.

And to your surprise, and Sihtric's, the parrot grew rather quiet when he approached. Sihtric held his hand out, a little nervously, but you gave him an encouraging smile, and before you knew it the parrot calmly stepped onto Sihtric's hand.

'There is just no way,' you whispered, seeing the event unfold in front of you, 'that bird hates everyone. No one can get him out.'

Sihtric looked at you with a smirk and shrugged lightly.

'You're like… like Ace Ventura or something,' you laughed, and Sihtric definitely appreciated the joke and chuckled.

The rest of the day went by fast. Finan, once again, was completely in love with all the overly excited dogs, while Uhtred needed a few plasters after a cat named Brida had scratched him. Sihtric was given the task to clean the enclosures and every time you checked on him, you found him petting a different animal. And just like every animal at the shelter, you were also absolutely smitten by that man.

You wished the men a good evening again and like the day before, Uhtred and Finan left while Sihtric waited around, but this time he was waiting to take you out for a drink. You quickly got changed in some comfortable clothes and met up with him outside the shelter.

He took you to a quiet, local bar where you came to realise that Sihtric was just all kinds of interesting. And attractive. You explained him how the adoption process goes, and if he was really serious about it, you could help him get approved. Sihtric said he'd love that, and soon after that you both chatted about all kinds of other things.

'So,' you said after a while, 'I have to ask this.'

'Ask what?' Sihtric raised his eyebrow with a half smile.

'Your community service,' you tried to hide your smile as Sihtric looked at you while he took a sip of his drink, 'a holy relic? Why?'

'Yeah,' Sihtric sighed and chuckled, 'in my defence, it wasn't my idea. It was Uhtred's. But,' Sihtric sighed and clicked his tongue, 'look,' he said curtly and locked eyes with you, 'I am not a real thief or anything, I am not a criminal. We were drunk, we passed the church as we walked home and we just thought it was a good idea,' he shrugged.

'But what did you steal? Or, well, try to steal?'

'A comb.'

'What?'

'An ivory comb.'

'Sihtric,' you snorted, 'you got arrested for stealing a comb?'

'St Cuthbert's ivory comb, yes.'

'Still a comb.'

'Uhtred said it's worth a lot of money.'

'Is it?'

'I don't know, lady,' Sihtric hissed playfully, 'we never got to sell it.'

'Oh my god!' you laughed, 'this is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard. I love it. But what were you going to do with the money? I mean, if it really was worth a lot?'

'I don't even know, I was drunk, okay,' Sihtric laughed.

'Who even is St Cuthbert?' you frowned.

'I have no idea, lady,' Sihtric snickered, 'I am a pagan.'

'You don't even know who you stole from? Jesus. Well, I hope it was worth it,' you smiled and shook your head.

'Yeah,' Sihtric smiled and looked at you, 'it was worth it.' 

You blushed and looked away when you understood he was flirting, and you didn't know what to do.

'Hey,' you finally said, 'I know you keep saying you don't like animals. But they clearly like you. Have you considered continuing working at the shelter after the community service? I mean, we could really use your help.'

'You know,' he sighed, 'I wouldn't mind. But, I need a paid job to live.'

'We have those too,' you said quickly, 'I get paid for example. It just depends on how many hours you can work. If you can work full time, you'll get a contract and a payment. But a lot of people only come in for one day a week, and those are the ones who volunteer.'

'Really?' 

'Yeah.'

'Hm, I might consider that,' he nodded, 'but would you want me to work there?'

'Maybe,' you blushed, 'you're the only one who has been accepted by the evil parrot.'

'Oh,' Sihtric laughed, 'is that all I'm good for?'

'Well, that and… y-you're good on the eye,' you blurted out, 'I mean good on the…the,' you sighed and buried your face in your hands, 'I can't talk myself out of that one, can I?'

'Nope,' Sihtric smiled and sat back, watching you in amusement as you tried to regain your confidence.

'But if it helps,' Sihtric smiled as he leaned in, 'I think you're good on the eye too.'

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 15 !!! AND part 16 !!!

TWO IN ONE WHAT these eps are kinda short ?? or my thoughts are idk ?? so I put them both together on one post 😬 but anyway let's go batcherssss 🤟

The Bad Batch 1x11

Crosshair you little gremlin 💕

ELENI AND HOWZER 🥺😭🥰👑

can someone please explain to me why Orn Free Taa has extra lekku, weird tiny ears and three fingers instead of four ??? mans looks like a different species 👀

"They fought for us and they have earned our respect" settle down Cham we all know you're gonna change your mind in 5 minutes hush

HERA AND CHOPPER MY BELOVEDS 💕💕💕

"uncle Gobi" 🥺

Hera watching the birds in the sky 🤲 following them with her hands 🥺

Howzer you absolute king 👑

Eleni and Gobi scheming together hehehe

I just know Eleni is SO proud of Hera 🥲 she's so much like her mom fr

"my hope is that you won't ever have to live a life like mine" ~ General Cham Syndulla ... meet General Hera Syndulla

"no take offs or landings" this is actually so adorable tho

Wrecker carrying all the weapons himself like he's only doing one trip with the groceries from the car to the house hehehe

Hera asks about the Marauder and Omega's like 'this beauty' *pat pat*

I wanna see Hunter's face watching Hera and Omega together 🥺

they're besties forever 💕

it's Hera's dream to live on a starship 😭

lmao could've had a bad batch reunion rn but Crosshair had other plans

Omega: ☝"did you know flying is about a feeling?" Tech: I have no idea what this means

Howzer being the only one to question imprisoning a child 😭

Eleni didn't even wait for the speeder to stop moving before jumping out 💅

"attempted assassination of Orn Free Taa" ??? attempted ?? did he not just die ???

The Bad Batch 1x12

"how unfortunate for your people to see your fall" LMAO Rampart I've seen s2 👀

Howzer immediately plotting to save Hera 💕

Hera and Chopper are absolute menaces and I respect them both for it

Gonky being part of the bad batch family 🤲

"you gave her our comm channel?" ~ Hunter is so done pls 😂

Tech: "children often overreact" Omega: "no we don't" YES OMEGA 🙌👑 she is so passionate and caring and loving and loyal I genuinely feel so proud of her 💕

Omega: "isn't that what soldiers do" Hunter: 😯

Wrecker @ Chopper: "what's his problem" how long do you have buddy?

Hera asking them all so desperately to save her family 😭😭😭 she has always cared so deeply

y'all I'm confused did Orn Free Taa actually survive that shot to the head? I feel like Rampart has no reason to lie about it?

they all peeking with their binoculars

Hunter's little 'let's move' gesture 🥰

Hunter hearing the droid and his sneak attack just dropping down on it 👌 bro how did you get up there so fast ??

knife knife knife knife knife knife knife kni-

Tech: "oh good" lolol

Wrecker's face when Hunter says Crosshair knows they're there 😭

Omega grabbing Hera's hand 🤲

Echo's face explaining to Hera why they're after Cham 😭😭

"I don't care about any of that, I just want my parents back" she's just a little kid in the middle of a war she doesn't understand 💔 this is too real and absolutely heartbreaking

"She's trying to save her family Hunter. I'd do the same for you" you tell him Omega 💪👑

Howzer and Crosshair staring at each other.....

Chopper and Hera having a lil chat 🥺

Omega: "he's my brother, they all are" Hera: "you're lucky" she really is 🥺

Howzer is trying so hard to protect Hera even with Cham hating on him and refusing to help save his own daughter 🙃

Omega and Hera came up with a strategic plan and now Hunter's on board 🥰

Tech is worried about them going by themselves 🥲

Echo getting caught scaling the wall: "a little help?" lmaooo

AND Hunter's little "hey" to distract the reg before pulling Echo up 💀

"I won't tell if you wont" lmao I love these two together 💕

Omega: "don't shoot down our shuttle" Tech: "wait what shuttle?!" ~ how many heart attacks does Omega want to give Tech this episode 😂

Hera blowing up an imperial refinery........ 👀

Tech: 'Omega what was that explosion?!?! Omega: hehe don't worry about it 💀

Omega: "do some damage Wrecker" Wrecker: "that I can do!" Wrecker happy makes me happy 🥰

THE TECH TURN THE TECH TURN THR TECH TURN THE RECH TUENCJDIWJXNW

Hunter telling Cham and Gobi that Hera hired them 💀

Hera: "we're getting the hang of this" Tech: "yes your dangerous and uncontrolled manoeuvring is as confusing to them as it is to us 🙂" he is so far past done with them oml 😂

Howzer 💕💕💕💕💕💕

Hunter looking back at him before they leave 😭

Howzer's whole speech in this scene 😭😭😭 it reminds me of Fives giving his pep talk to the cadets 🥲

Hunter sensing Crosshair??? and what if I never stop crying ??

my heart is breaking for Howzer I love him so bad 💔

Wrecker Omega high five 🥺

Tech teaching Hera and Omega 🤲💕

"Tech showed me how to scramble a ships signature" TECH TAUGHT HERA ONE SKILL THAT SAVED HER ASS A MILLION TIMES 😭

"keep an eye on your brothers, they need it" ~ Hera, the wisest person in the show fr

...did Chopper just say "Chopper out"

Crosshair has too many expressions to count this last scene, asking to hunt the batch down... my theory is he never had his chip removed but that venator engine fried it and it slowly stops working... we know that a lot of the chips are slowly starting to stop working in other clones, maybe its the same for Crosshair ?? so he's feeling a lot of confusion at hunting them down ?? maybe idk lol

two more down!!! my internet is still shocking and it's taking me like an hour to watch each ep bc of all the buffering 🥲 but anywayyy thank yalls for joining 💕💕💕