#so i say fuck them. and animated it on procreate instead

[gbirrd]

this is what Dick got up to in the early days while he was waiting on B to finish talking with Commissioner Gordon

[oddlyunaware]

"Where Art Thou?" A LMK Apocalypse AU.

So a few weeks ago, I had the grand idea of making a Fallout/Mad Max-themed AU for Monkie Kid. I don't know why I had this idea, I just did.

After developing it for a while with a friend via RP, I think I have a pretty good idea of how I want it to work. Read the main explanation for the AU below!

How Did The World End?

In the year 2085, World War III had begun.

Nobody exactly remembers how it happened, only that tensions rose and the countries, armed with nuclear weapons from the Cold War, started depleting their stocks by using them on each other.

Many cities and countries were hit, but by this point nuclear defenses had been created- and the damage wasn't as bad as it would have been, say, 60 years ago. People survived, and moved on with the war.

The lack of proper fear and high ground prompted many countries to violate the BWC and create biological weapons to wear down the populations of other countries. "Gene bombs" were created, and dropped on major cities. People fled in fear, spreading the contamination and ultimately dooming the fighting forces of each country. Sadly, humanity itself was also doomed because of this.

Super-soldiers and "tube babies" became common, all created in an effort to turn the tides of the war. The most prominent of these programs was Project NUWA, a super-soldier project that tried to force evolution onto human embryos, and Project LOTUS, which attempted to splice human DNA with that of plant genes and create stronger soldiers.

In a last ditch attempt between America, Russia, and China, they fired three thermonuclear warheads at once, which hit and created a massive explosion- the force and heat of which speeding up the melting of the ice caps and casting most of the world in water. Tsunamis and earthquakes destroyed what was left, and people's DNA was so fucked by the prior gene bombs that humanity had practically gone extinct.

In the year 2100, the old world was gone. A new world, the Wastes of Aurala, began to prosper terribly.

So... What Happened After That?

The gene bombs coupled with the leftover radiation from the thermonuclear warheads left the remnants of humanity... fairly dead. Instead of regular old humans, three new variants emerged:

Demons, Dirt-bloods, and Beasts.

Dirt-bloods were humans who just looked... wrong. Eyes too small, mouths curled up just a bit much, fingers elongated and legs backwards. The uncanny valley was strong with these folks, and they gained the name "dirty blooded" in reference to their irradiated genes.

Demons, on the other hand, were humans whose genomes had copied and mutated to resemble that of animals. They typically had beastly features, and were very clearly inhuman. The type of animal they were depended on the person and the area they grew up in.

(Humans miraculously saved from the genome-scratching were referred to as "pure-bloods", due to their genes being unfiltered with radiation or animal DNA. They were unique, regular humans, different in all the perfect ways they needed to be.)

And then there were Beasts. Beasts were people changed too much, losing themselves and turning into feral monsters. It's recommended that you leave these creatures alone- and if you do see one, put it out of its misery. God knows how long they've had to endure hell.

How Did Society Change?

Society changed greatly- television was a commodity for the dreamers, food was dried and served with little fanfare, and clean water was a precious resource only the hardest workers could find and drink.

Most groups devolved into nomadic tribes, full of those who had a fickle reason to survive, and they typically put trust and "pack mentality" first, reasoning that they survived better if together. Survival became the common instinct of everyone on the world's surface, and the idea of procreation was adamant. Marriage was a forgotten concept, people instead "mating" to preserve their remnant generations.

The animal genes also led to a lot of animalistic contest between finding mates. Many, both men and women and non-binary alike, battled for the affections of another.

(Sexuality and gender remained a fluid thing. Same-sex couples weren't uncommon, and asking for one's pronouns had become a form of greeting in this day and age.)

Children were a protected people. Every mating couple was expected to either bear or raise children, in hopes that the remnants of humanity could continue on. For those that were rendered infertile, they typically parented and doted on others in the form of surrogate families, often growing in size and becoming clans.

The idea of continuing what little was left was important. Even the sickest of the sick deserved to survive, if only to carry on the future for a little while.

Wait, What Happened To The Remaining "Pureblood" Humans?

Well, one day, a bunker full of pure humans was discovered, somehow saved from the bombing and radiation. They had been monks, who agreed to meditate in an underground monastery in defiance of being recruited as soldiers. Upon emerging in a distasteful world, many were quickly killed by raiders and cannibals, jealous that they survived the horrors of the war with little conflict.

One monk was rescued, and word got out that he could be used to save humanity- to fix everyone's genes and turn the world back the way it was. The only issue is that the lab with the required material to conduct such an experiment was in what was left of India, and the bunker they had been discovered in was far up by Northern China. The monk, named Sanzang, was ill equipped to handle a journey there.

So, he found some help in the form of an ex-Project NUWA soldier, codenamed "Wukong".

So What Now?

Well, I'll cover where Monkie Kid's cast fits into this in a later post! for now, feel free to read over this one and make your own ideas and theories! Thanks so much for reading this far!

Detailing the Cast in "Where Art Thou"

[whatsabriard]

Watch With Me: Hart to Hart 1x04

Episode Title: Jonathan Hart Jr

Original Airdate: October 6, 1979

Why this one? A 9 year old boy shows up claiming to be Jonathan's son? WHY WOULDN'T I PICK THIS ONE. Also, Jennifer gets real real fighting mad - madder than we ever get to see her before or since. It's just a lot of good stuff going on.

Favorite Quote: "I love you, you know that. And you would never ever leave a woman with a child. I know you."

First thing's first, she looks familiar because she was the mom from E.T. You're welcome.

Little trope-y, bad ex comes back to start some shit. But as far as threats go, he's probably right that getting arrested would be enough to get her son put into the system and that is no bueno.

"I love it when you wake me in the middle of the night." No, not that.

Look, it was pretty common for the dudes to be portrayed as horn dogs but they gave Jennifer a healthy sex drive that she's not ashamed of and that's a win for all of us.

"I'm jonathan hart jr."

Max is all of us.

Technically this episode is about Jonathan, but it's Jennifer who really comes in at the clutch. She takes care of that kid, and tries to make him feel comfortable, while Jonathan is sorting through his feelings.

They would have been good parents, but I do not long for them to procreate and am glad they never did.

Like even when Jennifer is all "this scheme isn't going to work" and Jonathan is like "I can't hurt that boy" she's all OK, I guess he's ours now.

Max is me when dealing with kids. What do we do with them?

Asking a child in los angeles how far they live from school - 5 to 10 minutes could be literally ANYWHERE. I would have said that at his age and you could have found 5 different elementary schools within that distance.

this woman really went around calling herself "Mrs Hart". Lady....LADY. it's weird enough that she lied to her kid...a lot. But that seems another bridge too far.

they find out the mom gave a fake address and the kid is like "hey can we go to the zoo now?"

I used to go to the LA Zoo a lot when I was little. You could get these wax animals made in vending machines and to this day the smell of hot wax transports me back there. I definitely had the lion.

12 hours later, JJr is kidnapped by his shitty real dad. This makes JSr really mad.

So JJr's mom shows up at the house.

This lady has some balls. "You must be Mrs Hart" And Jennifer is sitting there chewing the inside of her cheek and actually compliments the kid instead.

Personal proof in the form of a scar and Jennifer's like OK THAT;S REAL PERSONAL.

Jonathan is doing a good job of keeping his cool but he's Big Mad.

Small Jonathan is a chip off the fake block "My dad is gonna beat you up like crazy" lmao. But kid is right and he should say it.

"Be on time. No tricks, no cops."

Ooh, Jennifer aboutta fuck a bitch UP.

She admits she's having trouble with this particular excitement mostly because there's a kid who's in trouble and worst of all, Jonathan is wounded over this child. He has no idea if he's been kidnapped because they're related and he's in agony and Jennifer is Not About It.

I am TELLING YOU. this is a Jennifer ep.

Stanley Freeson is married with two kids? The fuck he is. He's a swinging single, show. It would have been in their best interest to have a show bible but nobody knew that 40 years later we'd be able to watch these on loop and pick it apart.

Man, Jonathan just gave her a 20% agent's fee and it was the single most devastating move. Then he drags her ass about her lies and Jennifer is in the front seat attempting not to look vindicated.

'member when I said Jonathan was big mad, though?

The Bad Dad starts beating up ET mom and Jonathan comes flying in like an avenger.

I'm not crying dad! FUCK KID. I AM.

"You know you're really beautiful when you're angry." LOL jennifer.

this guy is a real douchenozzle. Like he's for real a bad guy. He doesn't get to keep the $20k, does he? I don't remember.

"This little prince got lost in the middle of the nigh. And he couldn't find his way home. So some people took him in, and he stayed. They liked him a lot. They loved him. So he decided to stay. Would you like that Jonathan?"

The next day Jonathan the tech genius can't put together a swingset with Max. And the kid is like "I just need a rope, a board and a tree."

So then Jennifer puts on her Reporter had and goes beating the pavement to find ET mom and there's bad guy Vince following her because he's just the Worst.

And when Jennifer finds Connie, she doesn't kick her ass to the middle of next week. Which is just...classy.

"Listen to me, I said we'd help you and we will."

"Feeding the giraffes is a pain in the neck." she got JOKES.

This is when we find out that Jonathan is also at the zoo in a very convincing undercover costume.

They'll never recognize you, Clark!

"You mean that you're not really my father. If you were my father, you never would have waited so long to see me. Not you. But I wish you were, because next to my mom I think you're the neatest people in the whole world."

I talk mad shit about this show because it's mine and I love it. But it's also just... so sweet and gentle and it heals me.

I for reals mean to only hit my favorite of favorite episodes with this but I am obviously having a tough time whittling them down. I will be skipping Death in the Slow Lane (jonathan buys jennifer a vintage car for their anniversary but it's a piece of spy equipment? meh on plot, but features so killer costumes) and going straight for the absolute madness of "You Made Me Kill You". Something to look forward to, right?

[rascal-shark]

not to be egotistical but-

there’s only two writing/art double majors at my whole 30k+ person university including me. i’ve been against (read: we are tentative friends but i’m competitive as fuck so i secretly see them as a rival, it ain’t healthy but live for the fight when it’s all you’ve got etc etc).this other person, and they post every single thing they draw to 10 servers with the same copy paste message attatched - they’re not otherwise active on these servers. it’s clearly for attention, just based on our irl interactions and their chats on our mental health club’s server vent chat (we both have PTSD/depression/ADHD/anxiety, whatever.) and they get like 4-8 reacts per server, so like a hundred interactions overall.

i will never say this to their face, but they have one semester left (super senior) and their art looks like it’s done by a total novice. they say they want to be an animator and focus on humans, they have two animations and it’s just 1. laggy eyes blinking with NO squash and stretch and 2. 3-frame hand drawing - little movement. they don’t know anatomy at all and they just draw themselves in one of three poses. (also no tea but they draw their hair as a level 7 light brown when they’re like. a level 2.)

meanwhile, i’m learning the basics of human anatomy. i’ve spent around 30 hours on the pelvis bone alone in the last month (along with more time on the spine and ribcage from all angles)and i’m working from the skeleton to the muscles to the clothes. i want to be a master. i don’t care about attention, i know i’ll suck as i learn, i don’t want to be focused on a performance instead of diligent studying that will benefit me long-term. i’m playing the long game.

but MAN is it hard to see them soak up the praise once a week on our 5 mutual servers from a sketch with awful awful stiff-procreate-ipad-on-their-lap lineart quality that they tote around like a boytoy in hot girl summer to everyone they can find. my stuff isn’t as impressive; a page of ovaloid cylinders (pevlic bone shape), a page of literal eggs with cross contours (ribcage), a page of long cylinders (spine). it has the mechanical qualities of someone with chronic wrist tendintis (why try to hide my wobbles if it’s just for my own understanding?) it’s repetition, it’s ravenous; even motel art is leagues better.

i impress no one. i would lose artfight. i am lost in my own pages. i am jokes told to no one, “so this is the bone that’s causing me chronic pain,” a captain holt “BONE?” thrown into a speechless night. but it hurts to see them winning. i’ll keep my head down and keep going, i guess.

[sashi-ya]

𝑵𝒔𝒇𝒘 ~ 𝑰𝒏𝒄𝒖𝒃𝒖𝒔! 𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒐 𝒙 𝑺𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒃𝒖𝒔! 𝑭! 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ~ 𝑬𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝑩𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅

So, tumblr decided to mess up my post and because of it the answer had to be delete it T-T But I still have a copy of the request! so...

@the-witch-of-one-piece asked: Hello, Sashi my love !!! <3 My soul sister love you boo!!! I'm excited about this event!! I know you have been working really hard on it!! I'm so proud of you love !!!! if possible request Incubus Marco x Succubus fem readerwith the kinks breeding, praising kink and creampie, in meido Can you fall in love in hell? please love! Thank you so much, my love. You have been truly an amazing person and I love you so much babes!!!

HEWOO MY SOUL SISTER!!! so here I am with your Marco making a baby with you for this fic 🙊🙊🙊 I hope you enjoy and like it baby!! I love you my friend!! 💖

➡ Tw: nsfw. written in third person, "she" instead of "you". creampie, praising kink, breeding. ➡ wc: 1k ➡ Want more? visit the masterlist

This is the story of two sinners that went to Hell, they were in love, so in love. Sinners that promised never separate, sinners bound forever, even after death…

It took them long to find the other after they passed away, holding hands as humans did nothing to free souls. Souls that forget, but souls that somehow are still connected.

Meido isn’t as terrible as hell, they say. And in both cases it’s fun to stay there. You can reincarnate in different places each time, maybe humans again, sometimes animals, others are meant to be angels, other demons.

Ahh… demons, how many types of them are? A lot!  There are oni, there are some cute fluffy ones, the yokai. Other are scary, some of them return to the living world to torment humans, and others are those in charge to procreate. The King of Hell needs more demons, but frankly he sends Incubi and Succubi to earth just to satiate the hunger for sin they have.  Hunger for sin, and for sex. Demons of concupiscence, of lust, that are supposed to quench their desires with humans… even if sometimes they can’t stop themselves with the ones of their own kind…

“We shouldn’t… but I can’t stop myself” the beautiful succubus says, as she kisses him. The blonde incubus, whom hands are all around her has already accepted his faith. He is obsessed with that demon; he needs her, and no human could ever satisfy him.

“I don’t care how many times they scold us; I will fuck humans if they want… but they can’t prohibit me from fucking you-yoi” he says, pushing the succubus against the warm stone wall of their cell. Cell they’ve been put on as a punishment. See, in Hell rules are non-existent, but in Meido is a little different… though, who would put two sinners together when everything they want is to be together? That’s the real punishment… for every time they break the rules, they add one day more of lockdown.

“They want demons? Let’s give it to them, the purer kind of” she says, pulling him closer, both skins sweaty, sticking to each other, as the heat of the arousal grows stronger. “You want me to fuck you until I put my seed inside of you, my goddess?” he asks, panting with his hardness against her lower belly.

She smirks, eyes on fire like her core. Sharp fangs ready to carve marks on his neck. “Do it, Marco…” she begs, licking the lower lip of his lover. “It will be a pleasure-yoi”.

No clothes, they don’t need them. The whole purpose of their punishment is to resist the urge of sin. Marco uses his beautiful white teeth to nibble on her nipples, he pulls softly but hard enough to make her shiver and moan. Moans that echo all around, that makes every sinner aroused from only listening to them.

His finger travel down her body, praising each bump of her anatomy. Marco enjoys the soft touch of her skin over his fingertips. Fingertips that soon get wet by his lover sweet honeys. He plays with her folds, up and down, and sometimes around. Marco smirks, making her weak, weak for the need, week for the… love she feels. Love? Can demons love? Is that even possible?

One of Marco’s hands traps her wrists over her head, as the other masturbates her. Finger up and down her entrance, making her legs tremble. He drools, he is frothing for her, demonic lust that is even stronger than any human’s.

She whines under his touch, the more he fingers her, the more she feels like her walls spasm and stretch. And she needs him inside, to fulfil her hunger. “Fuck me. Fuck me Marco~” she pleads.

“Already, my beautiful succubus?” he asks, knowing too well he needs it as much as she does. “Well, well-yoi…” he whispers, caressing her clit with the tip of his sex. “You want it inside?” he says, as he guides his shaft towards her entrance. She squirms, her legs moving so it finally slides inside her wet cave.

Marco waits long enough, that feels more like an eternity, to let himself get fully inside her. But first, only a little bit of his sex penetrates her, pushing up to make his lover mewl. The pressure and the need for more, the stimulation she already received was preparing her for climax, drop by drop, little by little.

Her legs round his hips, strongly pulling himself in, making him go deep, deep inside her. She can feel his big size stretching her walls, fulfilling her to no extent. Both lips press as they start making out and his hips drilling on her. Thrust by thrust, they get a step closer to heaven.

Thrusts that light the spark of her insides, and the so needed release arrives for her body. She squirms, and moans, she pulls his lip, she whines into his mouth. Marco grunts, swallowing her pleasure screams, feeling the milking motion of her walls clenching to his sex. “More…” she begs, as if her orgasm wasn’t enough, and Marco will give it to her.

“More? More, you want more, my beautiful goddess?” he asks, as he fucks her with harder motions, faster in and out ramming, beasty strikes that makes her climax last for as long as he wished for. But, just like her, his body also succumbs to pleasure, and pure ecstasy hit his anatomy… the perfect occasion to impregnate her, to fill her up with his warm sinful seed.

“I’m coming…” he mumbles, biting her neck. “Fill me up, and make sure to put a baby in me, Marco” she pleads, burying her heel into his back so he can’t pull off. Although, there is no need. Marco wants to creampie her as much as he does, he wants to put a baby inside her, badly… and oh, he does…

He moans, and grimaces. His frown only shows pure love, the grunts getting louder, her hips making himself go deep, deeper than ever. Trembling he comes, flooding her insides, making them warm.  “My sweet queen, hold it inside. I love you…”

And just like she feels the pressure on her womb, she shivers… “I love you” he said, and flashbacks of her past life make her realize that their souls were still bound one to the other… Until death do us apart? It’s just a myth…

“I love you too, my love… eternally~”

[readyplayerhobi]

La Douleur Exquise

; Horse Hybrid!Taehyung x Lovebird Hybrid!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst, smut

; Warnings: Penetrative sex, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, impregnation kink, filmed sex

; Word Count: 14.9k

; Synopsis: Taehyung is in love with his best friend. The problem? He’s a stallion, a horse hybrid who’s basic instinct is to collect a herd of women to protect and procreate. His best friend is a lovebird hybrid and they mate for life. He knows it’s pretty much impossible to be together and that you’d end up hurt, but what happens when he finds out you love him just as much?

; A/N: So, my first fic in like...two months? I started this fic in early July and honestly...I just wanted it finished. If it seems a bit disjointed or something then it was very stop and start...I hope you all enjoy it anyway and that it doesn’t disappoint or anything! It’s taken a WHILE for me to get back into writing (honestly, I almost left lol). Please reblog if you enjoyed and leave me comments and asks!

-

“Oh...fuck. Fuck, you’re so big, mmm,” The girl on her hands and knees in front of Taehyung moaned, her ass wiggling in desperation as he thrust his hard cock into her soaked pussy. “Harder, please. Please, fuck me harder.”

He hissed as she clenched around him, his entire length disappearing with ease inside her as his hips moved rhythmically. Large hands groped at the globes of her ass, squeezing them and spreading them wide to give the best view possible. Grunting, he slapped at one cheek hard and smirked when she yelped, jerking slightly.

“Such a pretty girl, so pliant and willing, hmm?” Taehyung questioned, his voice low and brusque as he moved hard enough to cause the room to be filled with the sound of skin slapping on skin. “A greedy pussy, so eager for your stallion to get you in foal, aren’t you?” 

She moaned in response, her face unseen to him but her body reacted by squeezing around his cock once more. Running one hand along her spine, he hummed in delight before leaning forward and biting down on her shoulder. It was instinctual, something deep in his genes telling him to hold her steady while he filled her up and impregnated her.

His other hand moved down to her clit, the bundle of nerves still soft and silky with her excitement but also swollen hard with her impending orgasm. Years of experience let his fingertips find the exact spot he needed, swirling them in quick circles and making her cry out even louder, hips bucking beneath him.

“That’s a good mare,” He panted, trailing his nose along her neck slowly. “Come for me, come on, you can do it. Tighten that pussy around me and I’ll breed you as you want.” 

Her orgasm hit seconds later, body convulsing tightly around him and he grunted, hips jerking forward even more rapidly. She was whining, a babbling mess beneath him as he continued to stimulate her, the effects being just as pleasurable for him too until he too came.

Pressing into her hard, he felt the slight resistance of what must be her uterus against the tip of his cock but she didn’t complain of any pain. One of the benefits of being a fellow horse hybrid was that a mare was biologically compatible with the large cock stallions had. One hand held her hips steady, making sure she didn’t move away as his balls convulsed rhythmically, each time causing his cock to twitch as he continued to ejaculate inside her.

She was breathing hard now, her body covered in a fine layer of sweat that caught the light perfectly and he hummed in appreciation, finally feeling the end of his orgasm. Slowly, he pushed himself upright and licked at his lips as he gave a few, shallow thrusts to wring out his final moments of pleasure and also make sure she got all of his cum.

“You were a good girl for me. We’ll get a nice colt or filly from you.” He mutters, stroking along her back appreciatively. Her skin was darker in certain patches and lighter in others, a result of her American Paint Horse breeding. It was pretty and he let his fingers trail along with the colour distinction.

Finally, though, he pulled out. The noise as he did so was extremely wet, but that was nothing compared to the rush of thick, white cum that slipped out of her used pussy. Pursing his lips, he looked it over carefully before dragging his fingers through some of it and pushing it back inside her. It didn’t matter, stallions were renowned for the large amount of semen they produced and she was probably filled inside.

“And cut!” Called the director, his voice interrupting the silence of the set. Taehyung let out an immediate sigh of relief and sat back, his cock rapidly softening now that the scene was over. His co-star sat up with a groan, stretching to get out the kinks in her back from the position she’d been in for the last ten minutes.

As she did so, the trickle of cum once more became a torrent, slipping down her thighs to collect on the bed. She didn’t pay attention to it and he didn’t say anything, the two of them used to scenes like this by now. Wheein was a consummate professional and one of the best in the porn industry, just like Taehyung.

“That was a good scene,” She complimented him, smiling in gratitude to her assistant who brought a robe that she used to cover herself up with. “Even if the whole ‘dirty talk’ is a little overdone nowadays.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes in agreement, grinning as he accepted the cleaning wipes from his assistant. Without a care in the world, he began to wipe his cock clean as he continued on his discussion with Wheein. She was quickly wiping down her thighs and between her legs as well. They’d both clean up more properly when they went to their dressing rooms but he wouldn’t be seeing her again after this.

Not unless they worked on the same set again.

“Right? It’s so fucking cringe. I wish they’d hire someone who’s an equine if they’re going to write a script featuring two of us. Who even talks like that?” He muttered, tugging on his robe and tying it closed before slipping his feet into the sandals provided to him.

The laugh Wheein gives is sweet, making her entire face light up. She really is a beautiful woman and her body is equally divine, only made even better by her kind and bubbly personality. Not that she’d been able to show that during this scene of course.

It struck Taehyung that she’d probably make a good mare for his herd. Despite the fact they were lamenting how lame the script was that they’d been given, there were some truths to what they’d filmed. A stallion like Taehyung would actively seek out fertile mares from good stock for his herd to breed with.

The better quality the mare’s breeding, the better his foals would be. 

At least, that’s what horse hybrids were meant to do. Wheein would probably even agree to it if he asked. He knew that she wasn’t in a herd already and she’d made it pretty clear to him that she’d be open to something outside of their work if he wanted. His deeply-rooted instincts demanded that he take her home and breed her properly, but he just sighed deeply instead.

He may be a horse hybrid, with all the possessive and protective instincts that provided him as a stallion, but he had no actual interest in living his life like that. Which is why he makes a little more small talk with Wheein before leaving to go to his dressing room. The shower he takes is quick, making sure to rub viciously at his body as he tries his hardest to remove any scent of the mare he’d just fucked.

Hybrids were something that had been created long ago. So long ago, no one knew how they were made anymore. The knowledge had been lost in the Hybrid Revolution, three centuries ago when hybrids had refused to be slaves for their human masters anymore. Ever since they’d been treated as equals to everyone else in society.

That didn’t mean that they’d integrated fully of course. Hybrids of different species more often than not stayed with each other or mated with humans. It did happen though, but the differing instincts meant it often was better for a hybrid to simply stay within their species.

Something Taehyung had always found amusing though was the fact that even within their species, a lot of hybrids would only mate within their own ‘breed’. Wheein was a pure American Paint Horse, coming from a long line that could be traced back to when the humans had been breeding horse hybrids for manual labour, protection services and sports purposes.

Back then, the humans treated hybrids exactly like actual horses. They had a studbook and would breed stallions to certain mares to produce characteristics they wanted. Placid nature, easy to work with, intelligent, quick to learn and so forth. When they’d been released, the breeds had continued on the studbooks to this day.

There were plenty who didn’t follow that ideology, of course, Taehyung’s parents were not the same breed after all, but a lot seemed to put stock in being ‘purebred’. It was just another way to act superior in his opinion.

Besides, his parents may not be from the same breed but he was still technically a breed all of his own. His mother was an Arabian while his father a Thoroughbred, meaning he was a breed called an Anglo-Arab. That was considered a breed in its own right, though perhaps not as prestigious as either of his parents.

Whatever he didn’t care about all that. Taehyung had no real interest in following the cultural norms of his heritage. And the reason for that was waiting for him back at his apartment. The thought of that spurred him into cleaning up even faster, making sure he was squeaky clean before pulling on the clothes he’d removed earlier in the day.

Glancing in the mirror once finished, he sighed deeply and looked himself over. A quirk of his kind was that they looked distinctly hybrid in ways that didn’t match others.

A dog hybrid may have the ears of a spaniel while a cat could have the tail of a Persian. Horse hybrids didn’t have any of their animal counterpart’s physical characteristics though, no tails or ears or anything like that. But their animal genes had manifested uniquely in their skin and hair.

If someone was a bay then they would have brown skin in a range of shades while their lower arms, legs and the space around their mouths and nose would be even darker and their hair a luscious black. Taehyung blended a little better than most other horse hybrids, but for others like Wheein, it was more obvious. Her skin was covered in patches of alternating dark and light while her natural hair grew in white and dark brown.

He knew that certain breeds had distinct characteristics as well. An old high school friend was a Friesian with coal-black skin and the most luxuriously thick, wavy black hair. One of his Taehyung’s siblings, on the other hand, had a Lipizzaner mare in his herd; her skin and hair was snow white. It certainly made them easily identifiable.

Taehyung wasn’t quite so obvious. His palomino colouring was visible; pale white hair that was a little too long and softly tousled matched with rich golden skin. Broad shoulders tapered down into a slim waist, currently covered in a loose white button-up. His hair was still wet, dripping onto his shirt while his strong thighs and calves were contained within equally loose-fitting tan trousers. 

He didn’t look like someone who’d just filmed pornography, but then again, what did that look anyway? Just a person? Still, he felt a small sense of satisfaction at how well he was going to blend. The last thing he wanted was to go home and have it look obvious what he’d just been doing, even if it was his job.

Chewing on his lip, he grabs his leather cross shoulder bag and exits the dressing room. He promised to get takeout tonight, and he wasn’t going to renege on that deal.

-

“I have food!” Taehyung calls out, placing the bag of takeout he’d just picked up on the kitchen counter before shrugging off his jacket. By the time he gets back from hanging it up, you’ve already emerged from your bedroom and are pulling plates out of the cupboard while trying to see what he’d gotten.

“What did you get? Chinese?” Looking up at him with a raised brow, Taehyung’s heart stutters for a moment at just how pretty you are. There’s not a trace of makeup on your face right now, you didn’t bother when you were at home, and yet you were still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

Like him, you were also a hybrid. The two of you had met in the first class of freshman year in college and had quickly become best friends, despite the differences between you both. He’d also fallen deeply in love with you at some point, even though he knew nothing could happen.

Just as he was driven by the instinct to have sex with multiple women to form a herd, you were driven by your instincts. Only yours were dictated by your lovebird genetics, which meant that you were strictly monogamous. As in, once you entered a relationship and truly fell in love with them then you would never have another relationship.

The antithesis of a horse hybrid then. Taehyung had long known that it meant he would never be able to be with you the way he wanted. You craved monogamy and it simply wasn’t in his genes.

So he’d stayed your best friend, and for the last five years since finishing college, he’d also remained your roommate. The two of you shared a mid-sized apartment in the city centre, close to the university that you worked at as a music professor and within easy driving distance of his workplace.

“No, there’s a new Ethiopian place that’s opened close to work. Seokjin was telling me about it it’s a vegan restaurant and I thought it’d be cool to try it out. No idea what you’d like, or what I’d like, so I just got a bunch of things to try.” Smiling at you, he starts to pull out the carefully packaged food and chuckles as you ‘ooh’ at it all.

“Oooh, I’ve never had Ethiopian food before. I’m excited.” And then you turn that blinding smile onto him and he has to let out a deep breath as slowly as possible to stop himself from doing something silly. He’s long been used to his feelings yet you still make him feel like a teenager again.

Once everything’s out, the two of you take it over to the little table that’s set up between the kitchen and the living room and lay it all out. You quickly dart over to the fridge and grab some water for the two of you before settling down and humming in excitement as everything is unpackaged.

Like Taehyung, you didn’t have many physical attributes of your animal side. Which would have been exceptionally strange given the difference between humans and birds. What you did have though, were black irises to match your pupils and the most exquisitely beautifully coloured hair. The front was a blend of peach, yellow and red which slowly morphed into the familiar lovebird green.

It was all-natural and incredibly pretty, suiting your face and personality so well. The original purpose of lovebird hybrids had been as companions due to their loyalty to their partner alongside musical pursuits. Not everyone was great at music but more often than not, lovebird hybrids tended to excel at singing.

Taehyung loved to hear you sing. Or play the piano or any of the other instruments you’d learnt how to play over the years. You were practically a prodigy when it came to the musical arts and he would forever be in awe of just how talented you were.

Your singing was one of the reasons he’d fallen for you so quickly; your buoyant and always effervescent personality had made him determined to befriend the sweet lovebird hybrid in his class. But it was your singing that had truly captured his heart.

The sweet sound of your voice could be as light as a dandelion seed on a summer breeze or swell as loud and strong as a hurricane. He’d been immediately fascinated the moment he’d first heard you sing and it had never let him go. Taehyung genuinely couldn’t imagine his life anymore without hearing your singing around the apartment; from the quiet songs when you were concentrating to the ones you belted out when you were in a happy mood.

He loved it all. As cheesy as it would sound, he just knew that his life would be dull and quiet without his music-obsessed, colourful, chatty best friend. Which was why he couldn’t give up the small hope of something with you. It was a tiny chance, but as long as you remained unattached then it was there all the same and he would grab onto it tightly.

“Did your shoot go well today?” You distract him out of his wayward thoughts with your question and it takes a few seconds of it to truly penetrate his mind and for him to understand. Almost immediately though, it causes him to twist his lips as he begins to spoon out the food he wants from the containers onto his injera, Ethiopian flatbread, that covers his plate. He hated talking about his job to you. It was like a reminder of what he couldn’t have every time.

But he was a big boy, so he took in a deep breath before looking back at you and giving you his trademark boxy smile. 

“It went okay, nothing went wrong which is always a good thing. Wheein was nice and very pleasant to work with, good at her job. The script was just as bad as I originally thought.” Snorting at the memory, he takes a mouthful of food and chews thoughtfully as he takes in the new flavours.

“Let me guess...full of lots of over-the-top horse innuendos and dirty talk?” Chuckling to yourself, you take a drink of cold water before tilting to your head to look him over carefully. Taehyung pauses, unsure of himself for a second before quirking his brow at you.

“Yeah, something like that. I shouldn’t be complaining really...no one watches what I make for the dialogue.” He’s very aware that there’s a slight pout to his lips as he looks back down at his plate, missing the way your expression changes to one of sympathy and protectiveness.

“Well...true I guess, but you’re a great actor outside of that. And I’m not just saying that to you because you’re my best friend TaeTae. You’re genuinely good.” Now he does look at you, taking in the way you look at him with concern and he feels a flare of guilt rise in his stomach. Taehyung would never let you know that the only reason he’d started to work in the pornography industry during college was so that he could satiate his desires without dating multiple women or accidentally creating a herd.

The fact that he was still doing it, seven years after beginning, was because he still held out hope. He knew that he could’ve been something better, entered the world of television or film acting, maybe even theatre. But it would have meant having to flaunt an unending trail of women in front of you.

At least he had a valid and acceptable reason for fucking so many women as a pornstar. The fact that he had no emotional connection to the women who worked alongside him now was a bonus, allowing you to see that he was more than capable of leaving his work in the studio.

Giving you a tight smile, Taehyung nods his head in appreciation. “Thanks, chirp. I appreciate it. And I know, but I think it’s too late now. Too old, you know?” 

“Pfft, no way. There are loads of actors who didn’t start their careers until they were older! And no offence, but you’re a guy so you’ve got the kind of lifespan that most women aren’t allowed. You’re only twenty-nine!” The outraged response from you is almost immediate, the piece of injera almost flying out of your hand at your reaction.

Thankfully, you’d just eaten the vegetable wat that you’d scooped up already so there wasn’t any risk of the floor or wall being decorated with Ethiopian stew. That would just be a waste of some good food in Taehyung’s opinion.

But that was irrelevant. 

What was relevant was your vehement defence of Taehyung and his talents. The two of you had had this conversation many times over the years and yet it never failed to make him smile. You were adamant he could do better and he knew that he could too. But he didn’t want to. Despite how good his acting was, he had no real interest in actually taking it up as a career outside of porn.

He didn’t care for the lifestyle or travelling or fame. Porn worked well for him at the moment. It satisfied his instincts, it paid well enough and he had a manager that ensured Taehyung only received the best directors, co-stars and films.

What Taehyung would love to do, was to work in fashion design. He loved putting together interesting and unique looks while also thinking up ideas for clothes. His best friend, Jimin, had started a clothing brand of his own a few years ago thanks to the money his parents had loaned him. It was doing pretty well so far and Jimin was constantly sad that Taehyung wouldn’t join him.

The older man, he was only two months older but that meant everything to Park Jimin, had tried everything he could think of to lure his best friend into his company. From offering a creative director role to his sub-brand that would operate almost independently from the parent brand, Calico. And Taehyung had promised him that he’d accept one day.

He would as well. Just not yet. It wasn’t time yet. 

“Thanks. Anyway, how was your day? Didn’t you say you had some exams this morning or something?” His segue into another conversation works like a charm and you happily begin to complain about the exams that you’d given your freshman students today. It still boggled his mind that you’d willingly insert yourself into college life again, even if it was in a teaching role but you seemed to thrive in the social aspect of it all.

The two of you continue to talk until there’s no food left, every single piece happily was eaten. Admittedly, most of it was eaten by Taehyung as he had a far larger appetite than you did. It was even bigger today given the workout he’d done during his work hours but you’d been content to hand over what you didn’t want to eat anymore.

Or rather, you’d been content to feed him what you didn’t want. Something he’d had to get used to very early on in his friendship with you was that you retained the instinct to feed those you were close to. That’s what you’d told him anyway, though if he was to be entirely honest he hadn’t seen you feed anyone else before.

Then again, none of the friends you both shared in common was the kind of people who would accept being fed, no matter how much they liked you.

It’s a few hours later that you’re both ready to go to bed; eyes sleepy and movements slow after watching three episodes of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina while curled up beneath the couch blanket as you both digest your food. Taehyung could have happily fallen asleep where he was, the warmth of you not close enough for him to feel but your scent strong enough to lull him into a peaceful slumber.

“I’m going to bed.” You say loudly, causing him to jerk awake quickly as you push the blanket off your body and stand up. It’s not as quick as you’d normally be but the stretch you give combined with the extraordinarily big yawn lets him know you’re pretty tired.

Not a surprise. It was after 11 pm now and you’d been up since 5:30 am to make sure you had everything set for your classes. A slight wobble as you lose your balance causes him to jump up, resting a hand on the small of your back gently to provide careful assistance while he reaches for the remote with his other to turn off the television.

“Careful, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” Taehyung chuckles, kicking away the blanket which had also become tangled around your feet. A quiet hum from you lets him know that you’re more tired than he’d initially thought.

Not saying anything more, he runs his free hand through the pale blonde strands of his hair as he directs you towards your bedroom. The door is closed to the outside world, unlike his, but the interior is familiar to him once you open it up.

One of the habits you had that came from your lovebird side was that you liked to nest. Which meant your bedroom had everything you loved arranged exactly how you wanted it. Your bed was a canopy style, completely cocooned away from the world except for the entrance. He’d been in once or twice to wake you up when you’d been late for something and he would admit to being fascinated by just how dark and...comfy it all looked.

Soft sheets, multiple fluffy pillows and more covered the top of your bed. He’d love to see what it was like to sleep in it one night because it looked like it could easily be one of the comfiest nights of sleep he’s ever had. A bonus would be if you slept next to him.

One of the more fortunate, or unfortunate depending on how you looked at it, aspects of his heritage was that Taehyung could sleep anywhere. He’d even been known to sleep standing up, which meant that he wasn’t that bothered about what his sleeping space looked like.

Taehyung knew it was something of an honour for him to be even allowed in your bedroom, to be honest, given how protective and territorial you got over your own space. It had been amusing for him to realise this at first, particularly given he wasn’t particularly bothered when it came to his own physical space but upon realising you wouldn’t let anyone else in, he’d used it as a badge of pride.

To himself, of course. No one else would care or even be surprised that your best friend and roommate was the only person allowed in.

Shaking his head, he wishes you goodnight before closing your door quietly and heading to the bathroom for his nightly ritual. The downside to being a porn actor was that he had to follow a proper skincare routine to make sure his skin looked the best. Because obviously, people were paying attention to his beautiful face instead of his massive dick.

Not.

Still, it helped to book more shoots. He had a ‘statuesque’ face that appealed to women or something. So he went along with it and had, admittedly, fantastic skin as a result.

The last thought before he finally fell asleep was that he was pretty sure the oversized black sweatpants you’d been wearing were his.

-

Taehyung doesn’t get to see a whole lot of you in the next few weeks. He’d ended up having to travel for a shoot that lasted a week and by the time he got back, you were on a much-needed vacation with your friends. As such, he was getting a little grumpy at the lack of interaction with you.

Which was entirely the reason that he’d almost jumped on top of you when you’d finally walked through the apartment door; three long weeks after seeing you last. You’d let him know that you’d be coming home today and he’d had to wait as patiently as he could on the couch, pouting at the fact you hadn’t accepted his offer of going to the airport to meet you.

But with everything in the apartment turned off, he’d used his superior hearing to the best of his abilities and had listened as hard as possible for your footsteps. After so many years, he knew exactly what you sounded like when you walked.

So when he finally heard that familiar beat, alongside the rolling of the wheels on your suitcase, he’d leapt up. There may even be a hole in the wall from how forcefully he’d yanked the door open, his excitement causing him to not pay attention to his strength for a moment before he’s giving you the biggest and brightest grin he possibly can.

“I missed youuuuuu!” Whining loudly, Taehyung wraps his arms around your waist and lifts. The squeal you let out soon dissolves into laughter when he spins you around, mentally marvelling once more at how light you were while his sense went haywire with you so close again. He could feel the softness of your hips as he lets you down, smell the soft peach of your shampoo along with the slight hint of sweat after so long travelling. 

It was perfect, and something deep within him relaxed.

You were home. You were safe.

“I missed you too, Tae! Can I please actually come in?” Your laughter is sweet, infectious as always and he stands to the side to let you enter the apartment. Without even asking, he gently takes the handle of your suitcase from you and lifts it with no complaints, heading over to your bedroom.

Given he’s not facing you anymore, he doesn’t see the way you practically swoon at the sight of him using his strength so casually. Or the way you almost drool at his broad shoulders in the plain white shirt he’d thrown on today, the muscles working in a way that made your hands twitch.

“Did you have a good time? Please tell me that Yeji doesn’t have some embarrassing story again this year,” While your yearly vacations with your friends were mostly for sunbathing and catching up, he knew that you all enjoyed re-enacting some college years and that copious amounts of alcohol were drunk. “And I’m not saying about you, I mean just embarrassing full stop. I’m still feeling secondary embarrassment over two years ago.”

“A story which will forever remain buried, thank you very much. But no, we were good this year. Or rather, we weren’t good but I think we’re starting to get a little too old to be drinking so heavily, you know? We can’t recuperate the same way and I get hangovers way too easily. I do not have the physiology to cope with their drinking levels!” There’s a slight whine to your voice, making him smile in amusement as he moves over to lean against the doorway of your room.

While he was fully welcome into your space, he knew that you liked it to be your own. Especially when you’d been away for a while.

“Well, I mean...you are a lovebird. I don’t think there are many alcohol-tolerant birds out there.” That gets him a subtle glare, your pretty lips puckered into a pout. It’s an innocent action, something that shouldn’t bother him in the slightest, and yet his heart stutters and his stomach twists on itself.

What he wouldn’t give to kiss you.

Shaking his head, he tries to force the thoughts out of his mind. Honestly, he was perfectly fine when he was away from you. But when you were around, it was like you were all he could think about. Still, it was hard not to when you looked at him so fondly.

“True. There’s no need to point that out though. Salt in the wound much? Anyway, it was fun. They kept trying to get me to swim in the sea but like...no thank you. Water is for drinking and washing, not for swimming around in.” You’re crouched down, unzipping your suitcase and pulling out the dirty clothes before separating them into the individual bins you have.

Unlike Taehyung, who simply separated his clothes when it came time to wash them, you were very tidy and had bought fancy clothes hamper with three sections. This was probably why Taehyung would accidentally end up with a shrunken shirt or pink underwear from time to time. You paid far more attention to that stuff.

“Swimming is fun though.” Is all he responds with, standing back when you carry the laundry hampers past him. Putting the colours into the washing machine, he watches quietly as you add everything before turning it on. It was fascinating how you’d only been home for less than ten minutes and yet you were already cleaning things up.

Not that he’d made the apartment untidy or anything. It’s just you had a different idea of what was clean to him.

“Okay but, you can say that because you’ve got those shoulders to cut through the water. Not to mention you’re strong anyway. Not so fun for the rest of us. And I don’t mind swimming in a pool. Where I can see the bottom and the size is posted. The ocean though? That’s huge. No thanks.” Smirking, he flops down onto the couch and sighs happily when you push him up before sitting down yourself, letting him rest his head on your thighs.

There was no convincing you though and Tae gave up on the argument pretty quickly, not that he was trying too hard. One thing he’d learnt long ago was that you were perhaps the most stubborn person he’d ever known. It was an endearing trait, most of the time.

“Did you audition for that role?” Your question is innocent, soft fingers trailing through his hair that would have him purring if he was a cat hybrid. Instead, it was just making him get the urge to groom you in turn, his fingers twitching with the need. Ignoring it, he forced himself to just enjoy the touch.

“Yeah. Not sure if I’ve got it though. I got the feeling they weren’t looking for someone like me in the role.” It wasn’t surprising really and he wasn’t offended by the producers of the film he’d gone for. Even porn wanted specific people for specific roles sometimes; it would be silly to think he could get every role he went for.

Not to mention exhausting.

“Well, they’re missing out then,” You say, scratching his scalp until he hums in delight. “Anyone who doesn’t want you is missing out.”

Your words make his heart jump, his breath stuttering as he inhales and wonders if there’s a double meaning to that. But you’re too busy watching the show that you’ve started on Netflix to notice Taehyung’s existential dilemma. Part of him is glad, but there’s another part that wishes he was brave enough to bring it up.

He chooses not to engage with it though, instead just sighing and letting himself relax into the cushions of the couch. It’s nice to be surrounded by your scent once more and to feel your warmth.

“I appreciate that, Chirp. But I’m not letting it get me down. Sometimes they just can’t handle all this.” Gesturing half-heartedly to his body, he’s pleased to hear you laugh at his joke. The sound is sweet, even if the two of you lapse into a comfortable silence after that. 

You’re too busy watching your show while he’s half dozing off, eyes closed and breath getting deeper as he starts to drift away. It’s comfortable on the couch, with the temperature just right and his body perfectly relaxed. Which means it’s unsurprising that he falls asleep pretty quickly, completely unaware of anything that’s happening around him as he sleeps.

-

Taehyung is more than a little disoriented when he finally awakens; the room dark and silent with the lights and television switched off. Frowning, he blinks rapidly before rubbing at his eyes with a hand while sitting up. Stretching his arms out above his head, the groan he lets out is one of relief as stiff muscles relax and a few bones crack.

Reaching out to the coffee table blindly, he grabs his phone and winces when the bright light almost blinds him. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been hugely blessed with the better night sight horses had. Well, he could see better than humans but nothing amazing. Didn’t make it any better when he was subjected to bright light suddenly though.

“Ah, fuck.” He curses, squinting until he can finally focus on the screen. It’s not too late, but it’s a good two hours or so since you’d finally gotten home. Frowning, he just sits there for a moment as his mind finally catches up with the fact he is awake.

Yawning loudly, he finally pulls himself up and decides he should probably go shower before collapsing into bed. Taehyung hadn’t even realised he was tired, but it could have been the comfort of knowing you were back and safe. It wasn’t like he was some over-protective asshole who needed to know your every movement - more that he just felt more content when he knew you were okay.

Walking to his room, he’s scratching at his exposed stomach lazily when he hears the sound of your voice. The door leading to your bedroom is firmly closed but there’s light at the gap on the bottom. His enhanced hearing means that he can easily hear everything you’re saying, which is nothing new.

Over the years though, he’s learnt to carefully block out anything you’re saying when you’re in your room. You deserved your privacy, even if he couldn’t help the fact that he could hear everything perfectly.

And that would have been exactly what he would have done right now. Just carried on through to his bedroom and continued with his plans. Only he can’t help but stop when he hears the familiar syllables of his name. Taehyung knows it’s wrong, but the way you said it is different than normal.

He can’t help but listen, expression curious and his head tilting without even realising it. Your conversation is one-sided but he pays careful attention, still in the middle of the hallway.

“-you know Taehyung, he’s always being attentive and sweet. It’s just his nature, he’s like that with everyone. Yuna...it’s just Tae. He hugs everyone, you’re looking too much into it,” There’s a longer pause now, presumably your best friend talking extensively to you. “Come on, isn’t that what you always tell me? We haven’t seen each other in a while, it’s not surprising he got all touchy.”

Taehyung frowns, lips twisting as he begins to understand a little. Or at least, he thinks he does. If he’s right, Yuna thinks that he likes you. His cheeks heat up as he realises how obvious he’d been with his feelings, even though you make a good argument against it. But you’re wrong and Yuna is very much right.

He does like you, and he’s not quite as touchy-feely with everyone else. Taehyung isn’t even sure how you got that opinion. The only other person he’s remotely as affectionate with is Jimin, and that’s only because he’s known the calico cat hybrid since they were babies. Tae’s mom had worked with Jimin’s mom for decades now, which meant they’d grown up with each other.

“Yuna,” Your whining now, voice going high pitched and your words getting longer. “I thought you were the one who was telling me that I need to get over Tae! And now you’re telling me he’s obviously into me? Make up your mind, woman! Do you want me to ignore my feelings for him or consider telling him? And no, you can’t backtrack in a week or so like you always do. This is serious. I’d be humiliating myself by telling him.”

It’s almost like the world has paused around Taehyung. For a second, he almost feels dizzy and has to rest a palm against the wall as he sways. Your feelings...for him? Did he hear that right? Was he twisting your words into what he hoped you were implying?

Before he can contemplate it anymore in his mind, you go on to say something that shatters the norm for Taehyung.

“It would be humiliating Yuna, you know that. You know what I am, we’ve talked about this. God, I can’t tell Taehyung I love him because then that’s it, I’ve sealed my fate and I won’t be able to get over him. It’s already hard just trying. Having him know? I can’t, not when he can’t give me what I want.” There’s a pain in your voice and his heart twists, stomach bubbling in a way that almost makes him want to vomit as his world changes.

You love him. You.  Love. Him.

“It’s not his fault Yuna, we’ve gone through this so many times. I have my instincts and he has his, I’m not going to get angry at something we can’t change. Please...can we just talk about something else? Something that’s not going to make me cry and spend all night thinking? We agreed that we’d try to get me over this, dammit.”

That’s the last thing Taehyung hears as he walks quickly back to his room, having decided that he’s heard far too much of a conversation he clearly shouldn’t have heard. Guilt roils in him, flooding his veins as he flops down onto his bed and stares at the white ceiling of his room. He feels dazed and confused, not sure what he’s meant to think about this sudden change in events.

Taehyung being in love with you was something he’d long ago accepted. But he’d also accepted that nothing would happen from it because of what you wanted in life. Finding out that you wanted him too was game-changing. It was also heartbreaking to know that the only reason you both weren’t together already was because of his instincts.

Suddenly, he sees his career in a whole new light. What was a coping mechanism for him to reduce his innate desires and allow him to give you all the best bits of himself, was probably pure pain for you. The knowledge that you loved him was both exciting and, surprisingly, horrifying.

He knew that love birds would only have one partner, and from what he’d read over the years it meant they only really truly loved one person. If you felt this strongly for Taehyung then did that mean he’d stolen any other choices from you? He’d been holding back to make sure you had a chance to be happy but had he just made it worse?

Swallowing thickly, Taehyung realises there are tears in his eyes as he wonders if he’s ruined everything. The logical part of his mind knows that it’s not his fault if you’ve fallen in love with him, just like it wasn’t your fault he’d fallen for you. But he certainly hadn’t done anything to truly push you away, to try and get you to find someone else to fall in love with and enjoy a happy life.

Had he been selfish? 

Rolling onto his stomach, he buries his head into his pillow and lets out a yell. It’s a good job your hearing is only on the level of a normal human because he was positive the extended noise he made would have brought you running otherwise. And he needed to think right now.

There’s probably a solid ten minutes of silence in his room as he lays there, unmoving while his mind races through all his options. If he admitted that he’d overheard you, then he would probably embarrass you. Taehyung would jump at the chance to finally date you, but he knew that you wouldn’t be able to cope with his career.

You were supportive of him now, but you weren’t in a romantic relationship with him. And he doubted you would be comfortable with the knowledge that he was coming home to kiss, cuddle and have sex with you after having done the same things with random women earlier in the day.

If he was honest with himself then Taehyung knew that he wouldn’t be happy with that too. Despite how he was raised, his mom had been one of many mares in the herd his father had kept over the years, he wanted to be the one for you. Which meant he wouldn’t be content to do things with other women that you only wanted to be done.

He wanted the traditional relationship that many horse hybrids would wrinkle their nose at.

So, he had to figure out how to navigate that.

Lifting himself, he grabs his phone and opens up Google. Taehyung didn’t know many horse hybrid’s who wanted to have a monogamous relationship, but he had met a few over the years. Racking his brain, he tries to remember what they had talked about when he’d queried how they could cope with only being with one partner for life.

Despite his interest in the topic, he’d been young at the time and had still very much enjoyed sleeping with as many women as he could. His feelings for you hadn’t quite become what they were today, so he hadn’t listened too intently. Taehyung regretted that now. Tapping his lips for a moment, he contemplates what to write before he begins to type his request into the search engine.

Horse hybrid hormone inhibitors.

-

It’s three weeks later when Taehyung finally feels comfortable and knowledgeable enough to make a move. He’d made an appointment with his doctor the very next day after overhearing your conversation. He specialised in hybrid care, in particular those for equine hybrids like Taehyung along with the rare donkey or zebra.

Which meant he wasn’t all that shocked at Taehyung’s unusual enquiry. He probably got the occasional query from an equine hybrid about how to be monogamous. It was rare but not unheard of after all. What had shocked him though, was the fact that it was Taehyung asking it.

Kim Taehyung, the infamous porn star who had built a living on his ability to fuck his way through multiple women on camera. Who had his damn fanbase based almost purely on his cock for god’s sake? It was embarrassing to think about, but he’d known what he was getting into when he’d signed the contract in the first place.

He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t enjoy his job because he did. Taehyung hated that he did, but the sex with many women helped to alleviate all those deeply held instincts and urges within him. Still, now that he knew about you he had no intention of carrying on with his career. Not when he had a chance.

Which was why he’d admitted his feelings towards you to the doctor. Something he’d never thought he’d end up doing, but once everything was out in the open then his doctor was far more understanding of Taehyung’s request. Even encouraging of it. Taehyung was pretty sure that he found the whole story a little sweet and romantic.

Either way, they’d worked out a plan for him to make his life easier if you accepted him. Medications that he would need to take to reduce the overwhelming instincts that drive his hybrid nature and would allow him to engage in monogamy. The idea of that was unbelievably exciting and he’d begun to take his medication only days after the appointment.

After that, he’d gotten together with Jimin. Their weekly hangout usually occurred in a bar, a restaurant or sometimes just hanging around one of their apartments. His best friend had shrieked with delight when Taehyung had explained his predicament and what he was doing to go forward with.

Which had led him to finally asking Jimin if that job offer was still on the plate if everything went right. Taehyung wanted to finally pursue his dream of being a fashion designer and it was so tantalisingly close. He was on the verge of finally having the life he’d always wanted. Hopefully with you.

The first week of being on the medication, which reduced the high levels of testosterone he produced and helped to inhibit his base reactions, had been rough as hell. Taehyung had been on the verge of calling in sick for the first time to a shoot, his body struggling to cope with the change in his body. But he’d pushed through and two weeks later, here he was.

Nervous as fuck and waiting for you to finally come home. 

Everything all depended on if you’d accept his request to start a relationship. A serious, romantic relationship that was entirely monogamous. If you said yes, then he had a lawyer all set up to break his contract and a contract just waiting for him with Jimin.

Although really, he’d be quitting his job no matter what happened. He was tired of the porn scene, even if he’d met some wonderfully kind and talented people there. Taehyung had finally decided that he would be moving on with his life and accepting the job with Jimin.

It was up to you whether you wanted to be alongside him, and in what capacity.

The pizza he’d ordered for you both arrived at the same time you came home; a large box of vegetable pizza held in your hands and amusement in your pretty eyes. It makes him smile brightly to see you happy, knowing that you’re pleased he’d taken care of dinner tonight. Especially as it was from your favourite pizzeria; six different kinds of cheeses combined with peppers, onions, eggplant, tomatoes and spinach.

Your favourite kind of pizza, alongside a bottle of red wine that he’d already filled a glass with to let it breathe. The amusement soon turns to suspicion, your brow rising as you kick off your shoes and shrug off your coat.

“What’s all this about?” Gesturing at everything, you settle onto the couch next to him with your legs curled up beneath you. Taehyung bites his lip, sighing softly before reaching out and opening up the box. He doesn’t explain for a few minutes, just letting you both eat a slice of pizza while he watches his beer on the table.

He felt like a teenager, his stomach fizzing with a combination of excitement and nerves that almost makes him feel nauseous. Maybe he shouldn’t be eating right now, but he hasn’t been able to eat all day so far. There would be no use in making himself ill. It would be mortifying for him to throw up all over you.

By the time you’ve eaten two slices, Taehyung has only managed one. But he’s decided that he’s waited long enough. It’s time.

Taking in a deep breath, he lets it out slowly before clearing his throat. After so many years of being friends, he knows that he can talk to you about anything. There are many memories that he’d much rather forget that you’d seen of him, such as that awkward time when he’d had an upset stomach and hadn’t been able to get to the bathroom quick enough.

Not his finest moment and you’d gagged more than once but hey, it was all a bonding experience. Right? Or was that just his opinion on it? 

Still, Taehyung found himself pausing; his words sticking in his throat even as he mentally told himself to pull it together. You’d seen all his low points and his highpoints, he did not doubt that you would treat his question with the respect it deserves. But it was still a worry that you might turn him down.

Maybe you’d finally found someone else and wouldn’t want him anymore. The thought made his chest hurt, but he had to know. He had to get the answer to the question that had burned in his thoughts for years now. If you rejected him then he’d be hurt but he’d get over it, especially if it meant you found your happiness.

So why was it so hard to get the words out?

“Hey, are you okay?” Your shoulder bumps into his, pretty face dipping low to catch his eyes. He should have known that you would have realised there was something wrong, or that he wasn’t quite being himself. The way you look at him with such worry and concern makes his anxiety melt away, causing him to smile before he nods.

“I have something to ask you. I mean...you can say no. Please don’t worry about that, if you don’t want to then tell me no. I’ll accept it, I promise. You know I’d never try to force you, right?” He winces, realising that he’s messing this up already given the way your brow creases in confusion. “I mean, god I’m fucking this up. I’m sorry. I just...I have to be honest with you. I accidentally overheard your conversation the other month. I didn’t mean to, it was when you’d come home after your vacation and I’d fallen asleep so I was going back to my room and I overheard you.”

Taehyung is babbling, and he realises that when you gently press a finger to his lips. It would be nice to say that you didn’t look bothered, but there was fear on your face that made him feel sick.

“I believe you.”

Your words are so soft and he almost hums in delight as you run your fingers through his hair, grooming him without even realising. It makes him smile, both at your steadfast belief in him and how you always want to be touching and cleaning him in some way. His fingers itched with the desire to groom you in turn.

He restrained himself, fully aware that if he did then it’d just end up being one half an hour of you both trying to clean each other. The perils of two social hybrids who both have a culture and instinct for grooming. Not what he wanted right now.

The reassurance you give him, combined with the unwavering belief in your eyes, convinces him to just say it. To just get it out and lay his cards on the table. He was nervous, sure, but he’d been nervous many times in his life and he’d overcome all of those moments.

“I heard you say that you like me. In a romantic way. I was really surprised at hearing it, mainly because I didn’t think you’d ever looked at me that way before. Not when I’m the opposite of what you’d want in terms of a relationship. But I want you to know that hearing it made me the happiest I’ve been in a while. Because I like you too. And I have done for a while now. Years.” He says it all with a carefully neutral face, watching you carefully to see if he can gauge your reaction.

For a moment, your expression is a perfect picture in neutrality. The Switzerland of faces, giving nothing away and not letting him see anything that’s going on in your head. It’s frustrating for him when he’s probably feeling too much, but he doesn’t push. Just waits to see what you’ll say.

“What?”

Okay, so perhaps not the eloquent acceptance of his feelings that he’d expected. But it’s not an outright rejection. He can work with this, there’s potential here. 

Licking his lips, he takes a deep breath before carefully shifting until he’s facing you on the couch. Your eyes are so wide, shining in the light and making him think it looks like you hold the secrets of the universe deep within. He can’t help but smile at it, at how young and innocent you look.

Smile at the tentative hope he thinks he can spy.

“I like you, Chirp. Like, like you. Probably would use a stronger word if I wasn’t already afraid I’m scaring you away. I know that I’m not what you’d want in a partner, which is why I’ve never made a move over the years. But I’ve always hoped, which is why I never got a herd of my own,

“I love being around you, I love hearing you sing and laugh, I love talking to you, I love hearing you talk to others, I love how you’re so affectionate and always want to groom me along with chatting my ears off. I never said anything though, because most of all, I valued our friendship. And I knew that you wanted someone who could be your life-partner, something I wasn’t sure if I could be.” Taehyung pauses, twisting his lips before looking down at his hands.

“But then I heard you talking and I realised that there might be a possibility. A small one maybe, but I knew I had to at last try. Something I want you to know though is that everything I’m about to tell you that I’ve done has been done for myself because I finally realised that I have to move forward with my life. So, firstly, I talked to my doctor and I’ve started some medication that helps to inhibit my instincts when it comes to relationships and sex.” Pausing, he eyes you to gauge how you’re taking the news.

The head tilt you give is very birdlike, causing him to chuckle without even meaning to. He can’t help it though, not when you look so sweet right then with your bright hair and big eyes.

“I don’t have the urge to have sex with lots of women or make my herd anymore. We talked about it extensively and decided this would be my best course of action to allow me to have a healthy, monogamous relationship. Because of that, I’ve also quit my job and taken up the offer Jimin’s been giving me for years now.”

Despite the fact he’s mid-confession to you, the excitement in his stomach at that very moment is more to do with the fact he was going to finally have his dream career. That he was going to be doing a job which he’d been wanting to accept for years.

Understandably, his words cause you to suddenly gasp in delight before you’re clapping your hands eagerly. The excitement and happiness are purely for him finally taking proper control of his life, ridding himself of the pornography career that he’d enjoyed but hadn’t loved. Something you’d known for a while now.

“Oh my god? You’re going to work with Jimin?! You took the job! TaeTae, I’m so happy for you!” Even though he’d just admitted to you that he was near enough in love with you, your emotions were purely focused on the fact he’d taken the job. Feeling your approval and genuine joy at his life change, he can’t help but give you a wide, boxy grin even while the apples of his cheeks turn a soft rose.

“Thanks, I think Jimin was more excited than anyone to be honest. Pretty sure he’s already organising a design space for me in his building alongside an office. Makes me feel kind of bad for waiting so long to take him up on it but I feel like I’m finally at a place in my life that I’m truly ready for that career change.” That seems to remind you of what he’d told you earlier, about his medication.

Your elated expression slowly fades and he watches in trepidation as your brow creased, the mood dimming. Were you unhappy with his choice? Taking a deep breath, he holds it for a moment before letting it out slowly.

“I want you to know that there is no pressure on you. For anything. I’m going to continue taking this medication because I want to focus on my new career without having to worry about any urges taking over. The side benefit to it means that...well,” He pauses for a moment. “I can have a proper relationship. Or at least, the kind of relationship that you’d want. If you want that. With me.”

There’s complete silence in the room and Taehyung feels the sudden urge to grab another slice of pizza and start eating. Just for something to do with his hands and to distract himself.

He doesn’t push though, just lets you process what he’s told you. It was a lot, so he wasn’t even particularly expecting an answer tonight. If he were being honest, then he wouldn’t be surprised if you took yourself off to your room for the night. Or even went to one of your friends to talk it over with them.

But as usual, you surprise him. You may be small and dainty compared to him, light as a feather and full of cheer, but your personality has always been big and bold. Which is why you tackle the topic head-on.

“I didn’t mean for you to hear, you know that right?” Is your first question and Taehyung nods quickly, reaching out to encompass your much smaller hand with his own. There’s nothing too familiar about the gesture, just a squeeze of reassurance to let you know he understands and isn’t mad or anything.

“I know. It was entirely my fault. I should’ve carried on as soon as I heard that you were talking but I just heard my name and...well.” He trails off, giving an awkward smile that causes you to smile in return. The gentle pressure on his hand makes him realise that you’re now trying to assuage his fears that you were annoyed.

“Hey, it’s okay. You may not have too many physical features of your animal side but you’ve got plenty of their abilities. We both know that you can’t control the fact that you can hear much better, so I don’t blame you. Nor do I blame you for stopping to listen. Especially when you realised what I was talking about,” Now it’s your turn to look abashed, gaze skittering away from his and down to your still joined hands. “I’d have done the same thing if I heard you talking about me.”

Swallowing, Taehyung wonders how he’s meant to respond to that. He didn’t know what he’d say anyway as his stomach feels like it’s full of butterflies suddenly. Really big, horrible butterflies that are making him feel nauseous. 

“So yeah, I’m not angry or annoyed over that. Please don’t worry too much. If anything...I’m kind of glad. Because it means you’ve confronted this head-on and now we both know how we feel about each other. Which is that we like each other. A lot. In case it wasn’t clear, I like you too. Really like you. But I also thought it wouldn’t work because I know what I want and need from my partner in my life and I knew that your instincts clashed with that. Again, not your fault. You can’t deny nature and I tried to make sure that you never felt like I was.” There’s a hint of something in your voice but Taehyung can’t figure it out.

Pain? Embarrassment? Worry?

Whatever it is, he doesn’t get a chance to query it because you forge on. The sweet lovebird he’d known for years seems to be wavering between shyness at talking about your feelings and determination to have everything laid out.

He can understand the feeling.

“You know, I’ve fantasised about this for years, but now that it’s happening-”

“You don’t know how to communicate what you’re feeling and it’s all way more awkward and not nearly as romantic or sexy as you’d imagined?” Taehyung finishes for you, biting his lip as he grins broadly. You snort in amusement before nodding, playing with his fingers for a minute or so as you try to rationalise it all in your head.

“Did you go on whatever that medication is...for me? Like...because you wanted a relationship? With me? I know you’ve said it’s also because you wanted a career doing something you’ve always wanted but…” Trailing off, you can’t seem to look him in the eyes.

Carefully, he uses his free hand to lift your chin until he can see you. There’s a brief moment where you try to avoid his gaze before you give in, staring back just as deeply. Nerves, fear and hope are warring within him and he imagines that he can see it reflected in your own eyes.

��I’m not going to say no because overhearing your conversation was what spurred me to talk to my doctor. Finding out that you liked me back and that I might have a chance with you made me want to try to make sure you get the best of me. I knew that there are horse hybrids out there who have monogamous relationships and who are happy, but I didn’t think that would be a possibility for me. And given what I was doing for my career, I thought it was just better to carry on as I was,

“But then when I was talking to him about it all, I realised that it would help me in other aspects of my life too. Yes, I could finally offer you the kind of relationship that you want and that I want to have with you, but it would also let me leave behind the porn and start focusing on what I want to do. You know that I’ve never really been one of those stallions who wants a herd and the porn helped me to get rid of those urges without giving in to them properly. I looked into it for you, but I took it for me.” Licking his lips, Taehyung realises that he feels lighter.

Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he realises it’s because of what he’d told you. He’d been convinced that he was doing this to have a chance with you in the way he’d always dreamed of, but it was startling to realise that it was having such a positive effect in the rest of his life. For once, he was no slave to his instincts and had full control over himself, his emotions and his desires.

Just the thought of never having to do another film filled him with joy and happiness.

“Good. I wouldn’t want you to have changed yourself for me. But given that you have...what does it mean? Tell me.” Those pretty eyes, so big and wide, watch him intently and he gives a small half-smile as he shrugs with one shoulder.

“I mean...it’s basically like an inhibitor I guess? Reduces the amount of testosterone I produce, makes me less reactive to the scent of mares in heat and all that. There’s a whole bunch of medical stuff that I don’t understand but I just know what the doctor told me. It’s safe, it’s been tested many times before, and if things don’t work out, then I can come off them and be back to my old self. It just means that I won’t have the desire to have a herd or to...well sleep with multiple women, you know? Let’s be monogamous, a one-woman man. Finally.” Chuckling to himself, he runs his fingers through his pale hair so it’s out of his eyes.

“So...we could be together? Like...in a relationship? Just me and you?” 

“Yeah. The doctor said that as long as I’m on the medication then I’ll be like any other human or hybrid who doesn’t have a poly instinct. Not that there’s anything wrong with that obviously, but it means we can be together. In the future, if you want to be in a relationship or something...then if we decide to have kids or to not have them, I can get gelded and that’ll get rid of the instincts permanently.” Now your eyes widen in horror, hand covering your mouth as you gasp loudly.

“Gelded? They’d castrate you?” There’s a glance down from his face to his groin from you and he can’t help but laugh at the thought. Even if it does make him want to cup his balls protectively.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! It’s okay! It’s just a vasectomy. Because I’m a stallion, it’s called being gelded. After that, I’d be officially known as a gelding. No longer able to have babies and with no real instinct to make my herd anymore.” Thankfully you look relieved at that and he wants to tease you about being so worried about his testicles. But instead, he just feels happy that you don’t tease him in turn about talking about potential babies already.

That’s a good sign.

“Okay. Okay...so, let’s think about this logically. I mean, is that being too cold? You admit that you like me back and you’re on medication to allow us to be in a relationship and I’m saying we need to think logically?” Taehyung pauses you with a finger to your lips, a smile on his own before he carefully wraps his arms around your shoulders.

He makes sure to give you plenty of time to make sure that you can pull away if you want to if you’re not comfortable with this, but you don’t. Instead, you almost seem to relax into him and link your arms around his waist. You can probably feel his heart beating through his chest, the muscle working extra hard while he feels a little breathless.

It’s not the first time he’s held you, but it feels different this time. There’s something more intimate about it and he can’t help but take a deep breath in, enjoying your scent.

“It’s fine. I’m kind of glad because I’ve made a complete mess of explaining myself here. So at least one of us can think more logically about it.”

“You didn’t do a terrible job. I mean...I’m certainly not going to vote for you or anything but it wasn’t bad. My question to you then...are we dating now?” And just like that, Taehyung’s breath is taken away. To the point, he almost chokes on his spit and ends up having a coughing fit.

Directly into your face, ruining any hint of romance.

Yep, he’d truly fucked this confession up. Taehyung was just lucky that you’d known him for so long that it just made your nose wrinkle as you wiped at your face with your shirt, grumbling lightly before pushing his shoulder.

“Gross.”

“Sorry! I wasn’t expecting that though! I mean, you just straight up asked. I was expecting like...more talking and exchanging feelings. More awkwardness.” Leaning away from him, you give him a very droll stare that makes him wince. Well, at least it was awkward now.

“Sorry for not living up to those weird expectations I guess? I just figure that we’ve spent long enough dancing around each other, right? I don’t want to waste any more time or have any more miscommunication so if it’s too abrupt for you then I’m still not sorry. I like you, Kim Taehyung. And given what you’ve told me, and what you’ve done for me, I want to finally have that relationship I’ve been wanting for so many years.” The authoritative tone in your voice is more attractive than he’d expected, causing his brow to rise. 

Feisty.

“Okay. Yes. Yes, we’re dating. Together. We’re together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. I need to shut up.” Clamming up, he forces his mouth to shut and for his muscles to remain still. In reality, he wants to jump for joy and scream out that this was happening. Even if part of him is embarrassed that he’s incapable of talking now.

It’s all worth it though when you give him a huge smile, so big and bright and full of happiness.

“You’re cute, you know that?” Now he’s blushing; cheeks high and a delightful rose as he tries to contain his smile. He’s supposed to be cool, the epitome of an educated man who is extremely experienced around women. And yet here he is, acting like a teenager getting his first girlfriend.

“Not what I normally get called.” You’re the one who looks a little shy at that, your eyes darting away from his as you bite at your lip. There’s a hint of nerves to you now and something else, something he can’t quite figure out. The way you wiggle slightly in place has him frowning in confusion, wondering what’s made you suddenly so quiet. This was the behaviour he’d been expecting from you, so it felt a relief to finally get it but also strange given how confident you’d been.

“What’s wrong? Where’s my bold girlfriend gone?” Gently poking your waist, he tries to ignore the thrill that rises inside him when he calls you that. It was going to take some time to get used to it.

Thankfully, it also manages to breakthrough whatever shell you’d suddenly formed around yourself. Grasping his hand with your own, you let out a soft whine as he continues to prod at you and he quickly intertwines his fingers with your own. For a moment, he’s too busy staring down at your hand in amused awe to remember what he’d asked you.

“Your hand is tiny, you know that?”

“No, you just have huge hands. All of you is huge, just like all of me is small. The difference between a horse and a lovebird.” Now it’s your turn to push at his stomach, a small smile on your face. Taehyung grins at that, but he grins, even more, when he catches your eyes flicking down to his lap.

It all clicked into place in his head, from the way you got shy at him saying he’s not normally called cute to the way you call him huge. You’re not wrong; Taehyung is massive when compared to you. Denser bones add to it at all, allowing him to lift and move heavy weights with ease whereas you’d developed a lighter bone structure that was more reminiscent of birds.

Taehyung had never broken a bone before, whereas you had to be careful doing certain things. But the size difference between you both was made even more obvious when he thought about sex. He was bigger than most human and hybrid males down below, and he wondered if there was something wrong with him that the knowledge you knew that turned him on.

Not that you’d ever seen him naked or anything, but you weren’t stupid. He was infamous in the porn industry for a reason.

Which suddenly made him consider something, his head tilting slightly as he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Have you ever watched my stuff? Like my films or anything? I know for a fact that some of them are on those free porn sites.” Biting his lip, he watches closely for any positive sign. One of the benefits of being a horse hybrid was that he was highly attuned to microexpressions in others.

Originally meant to watch out for danger and keep himself safe, it was more useful for getting an idea of where a conversation was going. It also made Taehyung feel very stupid that he’d never noticed you were in love with him before.

He doesn’t need to have any extra abilities to read your face right now though, not with how you look almost like you wish the floor would swallow you whole. You can’t even meet his eyes and it delights him.

“You have!” 

“No! I wouldn’t do that, you’re my best friend. That’d be weird.” Taehyung can sense the distress in your voice and he forces himself to tone down. He had no issues with the idea of you watching his stuff; if anything it was a turn on. But this relationship was so new that it had barely been born and he didn’t want to push your boundaries just yet. 

Still, he felt like he had a right to know.

“Hey, listen to me, it wouldn’t bother me if you did. I actually would find it a turn on to know you’ve watched me. I hope you weren’t upset though, I only did all of that to satisfy my instincts so that I could enjoy my time with you. But I made those films and videos for people to enjoy. If you got off to some of them that I’d consider it a job well done. Don’t feel embarrassed if you did.” Using his free hand, he lets his fingers trail along your cheek. It’s warm beneath his touch, the blood rushing in response to your tumultuous emotions and he reassuringly runs his thumb across it.

“You’re...you’re not bothered by the idea of that?” 

Taehyung chuckles at your disbelief and shrugs genially, making sure to portray an aura of calm and serenity. The only thing that bothered him about the idea of you watching his videos was that he was already sporting a semi at the very thought of his supposed ‘innocent’ best friend watching him railing some mare.

Which should be a terrible thought, but it just meant that he was all the more experienced for you. There would be no doubt in his mind that he could show you a world of pleasure that you’d never even imagined; as pompous and egotistic as that sounded.

Sex was his area of expertise though.

“I mean...I knew it was a risk when I started. I make porn. Porn is available freely on the internet and I fully expected some of my friends to be at least a little curious. Plus, there’s the whole ‘horse hybrid’ thing going on. I don’t tend to get embarrassed easily around sex. If anything, it’s kinda exciting knowing that you’ve seen some.” You’re giving him a look of pure confusion and he can’t help but laugh heartily. 

Oh, he loves you. He loves how befuddled you are at his refusal to adhere to your expectations. Given how reserved you were normally about sex and relationships, it was delightful to shatter your illusions surrounding him and make your perusal of his work sound like a benefit rather than something to be ashamed of.

“So...what did you think? You’ve never given me a rating before, so I’m curious.” Once more, your eyes dart away from his and he has to stifle a snort at how you suddenly find the wall so interesting. The artwork on there was nice, he’d picked it out himself, but it wasn’t that nice.

He doesn’t push though. What he wants is for this relationship to start on trust and honesty. So if you want to trust him enough to be honest about your opinion then he’d accept that. If it was still too early for you; he’d accept that too.

“It was good. I mean, I haven’t watched much. It was years ago and only a few minutes before I felt weird. Like I was spying on you. That’s it though! I swear I haven’t seen anything else. It felt like I was...perving on you or something.” Grasping at his hands desperately, you give him such big eyes that try to get across your honesty.

It makes his lips quirk in amusement and he links your fingers together once more, squeezing lightly. For a few moments, he considers how to respond to you before deciding to just go for it. Which means he slowly leans forward to you, eyes flicking down to your lips and giving you plenty of chances to pull away and leave.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a little bit of a relief, knowing you’ve seen at least something. But most importantly...can I kiss you?” Taehyung swears you deflate, your entire body seeming to relax with a deep breath you let out.

He’d be worried if it wasn’t for the huge grin that you have painted on your face now, the delight making your skin almost glow with health and happiness. It’s a beautiful look and he feels like he’s enraptured once more, falling in love with you all over again. At least now he has an outlet for these mushy feelings.

“Finally!” 

There’s only time for Taehyung’s eyes to widen in shock before you’re shaking your hands free of his own and grasping at his shirt. With a surprising amount of strength, you jerk him forwards and his lips crash against your own. That’s the only way to describe it, as it kinda hurts. His lips mashed against his teeth a little and his nose bumps against yours, causing him to whine.

You let him go almost immediately, looking intensely embarrassed as you rub at your mouth and nose. He does the same, making sure that there’s nothing wrong with his beloved nose while licking at his lips to soothe the dull ache. But then he can’t help but laugh, the sound bright and rumbling up from his chest as he contemplates what just happened.

Every time that he thought you would zig, you instead zagged. Over the years, he’d learnt to go with the flow with you in regards to this with his friendship but for some reason, he’d never quite realised that it would be much the same with a romantic relationship. You defied his expectations and made him feel like he was constantly on his toes.

He loved it, including when almost headbutted him with your first kiss.

“I am so sorry-” You start, your eyes wide and worry emanating from you. He shakes his head, trying to stifle his amusement before reaching out and cupping your face with a gentle touch.

“Okay, how about we try this again but...a little slower this time, yeah?” Keeping your face steady, he inches forward until he can feel your warm breath on his cheek. You’ve already closed your eyes in anticipation and he has to squash the desire to grin, instead fulfilling both of your wishes by pressing his lips against your own.

It’s a soft and gentle kiss at first, exploratory and uncertain. Neither of you knows how to kiss the other properly, or what the other likes, and so you both simply...take your time. Taehyung’s thumb strokes along with the softness of your cheek while your hands flatten against his chest, palms hot where they rest.

He’s kissed a lot of women in his life; some he’s proud of, some he’s not and some he doesn’t even care about. But this is the best kiss so far. Even as slow and unsure as it is, it’s still the best.

Because it’s you.

There’s more than a hint of inexperience in your kiss and it doesn’t surprise him. He knows that you’ve at least kissed a few people before, but you didn’t have a huge amount of experience in it. Instead, it’s just enough that he feels comfortable but not enough to have you take the lead.

So he does, instead. And given how bold you’d been earlier, he takes the initiative to be bold this time as well. 

With almost minimal strength required on his behalf, he slips his hands down to your hips and grips them tightly, lifting and depositing you onto his lap without breaking the kiss. He doesn’t even make a noise as he does so, your weight nothing to him.

His ancestors had been bred for heavy lifting and pulling, after all.

What he doesn’t anticipate though, is the way you moan into his mouth or how you wiggle slightly at his action. Pulling from you, one brow lifts as he looks you over inquisitively. His question is silent, but you understand it immediately. There’s nowhere for you to look now, not when you’re so close to him.

So you stare at his chin instead, carefully avoiding his eyes as your hands move to play with his soft hair. The blonde strands are almost golden instead of platinum in the soft light of the nearby lamp, just visible in his vision from where you stroke them.

“I forget how strong you are sometimes.” The words are muttered and he gets the impression that you’re hoping he doesn’t hear. And that he won’t query it further. But he does, of course, he does.

“Do you have a strength kink, Chirp?” 

“Wha-no! That’s, why would I-” Spluttering, you lean back a little and take a moment to shuffle until you’re more comfortable on his lap. Your legs are on either side of his now, comfortable in their almost kneeling position but most of your weight is on his legs. He takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist and tug you closer, enjoying the warmth you give him.

“It’s cool if you do. I can fulfil that. Not yet though, if that’s okay. But I need you to know something right now. I don’t want us to have sex right now. Not yet. Since being a teenager, I’ve been obsessed with sex. An unfortunate side effect of being a stallion. For the first time in my adult life...I don’t feel an insatiable need for it. And it’s kinda nice. I don’t want us to start our relationship with sex. I want us to explore each other and our relationship first and then introduce sex. I need to learn that sex is something intimate and between only us now. I’ve spent too long viewing it as work.” He tries to make sure that his words are carefully said and that he’s not rushing them, but now he’s the one a little nervous.

You’d been far bolder than he’d ever expected and now he was worried that you might expect sex from him immediately. It was an easy, even acceptable, assumption to make given what he was and his career. But he didn’t want that. As he’d said, he wanted to start this relationship with love and trust.

Lust could come later.

There’s no answer from you for a moment and he sighs, letting his hands awkwardly stroke at your sides in an attempt to give them something to do.

“I’m sorry if that’s not what you were expecting. Or not what you wanted. I’m a little surprised you’ve been so forward with me and-” A soft fingertip presses against his lips, causing him to quieten instantly.

Smiling softly, you lean forward and kiss him. It’s just as chaste as the one previously, only you’ve controlled yourself a little more compared to your first attempt. He takes solace in it though and now his body is the one deflating. There’s a silent acceptance in that kiss.

When you finally pull away from him, he finds himself chasing after you. It’s an odd sensation for him to do that without any intention of going further but he finds that he likes it. There’s no doubt that you can feel what’s going on in his pants; he can’t control everything after all but just because his body is saying yes doesn’t mean his mind is.

And you accept that. He can tell instantly, from the reassuring smile you give him and how you embrace him so warmly and carefully. 

“It’s okay, Tae. I’ll admit to being a little disappointed but I can understand your reasoning behind it. And I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to. I know you’d do the same for me. I guess it’s just going to make it better when we finally do get to it, right?” Teasing him, you stick your tongue out and poke at his cheek.

Almost immediately, his nose wrinkles and your laugh lightly. For a moment, the sounds are almost like chirping and he can see your lovebird origins so clearly. That was to say nothing of the fact that you were now subconsciously grooming his hair, fingertips running through the platinum strands and getting rid of any unfortunate kinks or knots.

“Thank you.” He whispers, letting his hands wrap around your waist until he’s hugging you. It takes minimal effort to have you plastered against him, head resting on his shoulder as he embraces you so tightly. You smell heavenly, and he wonders what he did to be given the chance to be with you after so many years.

“Can we go on a date though? I mean...like now?” Tilting his head back, he frowns before looking at the table and the pizza boxes.

“What? Where? We’ve already eaten?”

“Okay, but I’m kinda horny and you’re kinda horny and I think we both need to talk a walk and cool down. So...how about we have our first date? I’ve been waiting a while for this, Kim Taehyung.” Your smile is so big and bright, dazzling him and making his stomach flutter.

He doesn’t even realise he’s nodding until you practically launch yourself from his lap, rushing over to the door and chattering away. If he was being honest, he had no idea what you were talking about as you quickly pulled your shoes on and sorted out your bag.

Taehyung didn’t even care, because he’d done it. He had the girl he’d been in love with for years, who he’d been certain he had no chance with. You could regale him with a thousand and one tales and he’d listen to them all with a content smile because he was yours, and you were his.

[therealvinelle]

If some scientist vampires created synthetic blood that mimicked human blood perfectly in it's ability to nourish vampires, and proposed the Volturi to distribute it, in a kind of a vampire secret market to the rest of vampirekind, do you think they would agree? How in whole would the vampire world take to this? There's no reason to slaughter humans anymore, unless some just wanna do it anyway?

Since you say it mimics the real thing perfectly, we’re assuming the flavor is also like the real thing. We’re also assuming it’s easy to mass produce.

The Volturi would be all over it.

This is the ultimate protection of the secret. For the Volturi coven alone this is a gamechanger. No more convoluted Heidi schemes, no more getting rid of the bodies afterwards at a rate of 80 per month, 960 per year (I imagine dragging the bodies out to the deep ocean is the way to go, at least in these modern times). For the vampire world at large...

In the short term, this protects humans, since - and that’s really for a post of its own - but with the rise of modern technology, keeping vampires secret is going to get harder. Synthetic blood removes this problem entirely. The question then rises, how do the Volturi encourage this ancient, rather rigid world of people who live to only do one thing, to now come pick up depressing bags at the blood factory instead?

I think the Volturi would outlaw killing humans, at least for the foreseeable future. For as long as human technology (for civilizations have a tendency of falling and losing their technical process. That could be us too, give or take a few generations) remains as advanced as it is now, Aro has reason to be nervous. It would be extreme, but so too would be the consequences of humans finding out about vampires. The humans themselves would be problem enough, but the vampires would go nuts. No more secret means the law doesn’t count anymore. PARTY LIKE THE ROMANIANS!

More, in the long term...

This removes the dependency on humans.

Vampires, by nature, are parasitic. Humans can survive without them and we don’t benefit from them, but they depend on us both to procreate and to survive. They’re a derivative of us.

Introduce synthetic blood to the equation, and the scales have changed. Vampires are emancipated of us. (And so disappears the Law’s raison d’être.)

I don’t think Aro would dissolve the law, though. He has too much love for human art and culture to want to see it all burn.

But, Hiroshima and Nagasaki (intentional use of nukes), the Cuban crisis (nuclear war nearly broke out), Tchernobyl (humans proved they can’t be trusted with nuclear tech), are fresh in mind. As it is, I’m sure he had a real “aw fuck” moment after Hiroshima, when humans proved their technology is now capable of destroying the world.

Mankind could very well destroy itself one day. And when that day comes, vampires might survive, and then... well, they would be parasites without hosts. They would starve, scavenging what animals remained if any had survived, though in a nuclear wasteland you wouldn’t be looking at a lot of hot-blooded mammals. Within weeks they, too, would be functionally, extinct, either by suicide, killing each other over rotting corpses, or Roy Batty style collapse (what I imagine slowly happens to extremely starved vampires).

Synthetic blood could well be salvation should that day ever come.

So, in short I imagine Aro puts the Volturi on the synthetic blood, and after some testing the waters, maybe even reaching out to Carlisle (he’s in a tough political situation after Breaking Dawn and could use Carlisle on his side. It would go interesting places, I’m sure) since the Cullens, like it or not, are who people are going to use if they want to rally for a revolution against those oppressive Volturi. If Aro wants to pass an outrageous law such as this, he’ll need them on his side. And Carlisle would give him an eternity of shit for it, “How aBoUT thaT hUUuuUman blOoOd, huh? BAHAHAHAHA” Damnit, I’m making myself want to write this mess.

[duhragonball]

Battle Tendency Liveblog: JJBA Ch.109-113

Hard to believe we’re at the end of this crazy ride.  

Last time, Joseph had defeated Kars, only for Stroheim to order his men to finish Kars off with UV rays.  Stroheim just wanted Kars to hurry up and die faster, and maybe he also wanted credit for the kill, but instead he played right into Kars hands.    After Joseph kicked his ass, Kars put on a Stone Mask he had stowed away somewhere, and he installed the Red Stone of Aja into the Mask.  

I should probably go over that a bit, since it hasn’t been mentioned for a while.   Kars has been perfecting the Stone Mask technology for thousands of years.   It turns humans into vampires, but for his species it unlocks even greater powers.   But Kars hit a wall in his research.   He wanted to design a mask that would make him the ultimate life form, but he lacked the means to power such a mask.   He discovered an answer in the Aja Stone, a mineral that focuses light, but he needed a bigger, more flawless sample of it, and that’s the Stone he’s using right now, the one he captured from Lisa Lisa.  

So instead of killing Kars, Stroheim accidentally made his lifelong ambition come true.   One nice touch I just noticed is that the Mask itself falls apart as soon as it’s finished its task.    I suppose, in theory, someone else could have tried it on and get the same power boost as Kars?  Would it even work on a normal human?  Well, we’ll never find out.   

There’s a couple of ways to interpret this.   One is that Kars’ “Super” Mask was highly experimental, and it must have been untested, since he’d never had Lisa’s stone until now.   So it’s possible that the thing burned itself out after a single use.   The other interpretation is that Kars designed this Mask to self-destruct after the first use, because it was never intended for anyone else but himself.    The whole point of this was to become the Ultimate Life Form, the very pinnacle of all living creatures on Earth.   I think it was implied that Wammu and Esidisi were expecting to share in this power when the time came, but why would Kars have ever allowed for this?   What’s the point of being the greatest and best in the world if you have to share that top spot with two other guys? 

Stroheim realllly wants to believe this is all a big fluke, and that he didn’t just make the bad guy stronger.   The Ripple wound on Kars’ arm is still there, so Stroheim figures he’ll die anyway.    Except Kars doesn’t seem too bothered by his injury.   And then...

Yeah, so Kars not only repairs his injured arm, he reshapes his hand into a squirrel.   Joseph speaks for us all: What the fuck?

For a hot minute, everyone thinks the squirrel he made is kind of cute, until Kars sends it to find another squirrel and kill it.  Then the Kars-squirrel tears a hole through Stroheim and carves a trench in a Nazi soldier from chest to eyeball.   Then it rejoins Kars’ wrist, and turns into a flower, and then a butterfly.   Some Part 5 and 6 pre-references for ya.  

Then the sun comes up.    Wait, the Joseph/Wammu fight happened around midnight, right?    How many hours have these folks been out here?    And it’s February, too, so this had to have been a long night.  Anyway, the sun comes up, so we’re saved, right?   Wrong.  Sunlight doesn’t hurt Kars anymore, thanks to the power he got from his special mask.   So now what are they supposed to do? 

Well, Joseph’s going to use his last resort: running away.    Also, he grabs the Aja Stone, for no apparent reason.    Kars grows a pair of wings to chase him.    He no longer cares about the Hamon users, because they’re no longer a threat to him.   But he wants to kill Joseph personally, both to celebrate his new powers and to avenge the deaths of Wammu and Kars.  

Smokey joins Joseph, which doesn’t make much sense to Joseph, but Smokey wants to tell Joseph about Lisa Lisa being his mother.   Except Joseph’s a little too distracted by the eldritch horror that’s trying to murder him. Read the room, Smokey.

Here’s a helpful diagram of Kars to explain what his deal is now.   Basically, he’s immortal and can regenerate and reshape his whole body, but he had that before, just by being a Pillar Man.   The big upgrade is that he’s no longer weak to sunlight (and by extension, the Ripple), and he can now replicate the traits of any life form on Earth.    He’s faster than cheetahs and has better hearing than bats and so on.   He can go for a full year without eating, and he no longer needs to sleep.    Sex is meaningless to him, because procreation is only important for lower life forms to maintain their species.   Kars has no need for children or bretheren.    “There is but only one summit.”  

Maybe Wammu and Esidisi had understood that truth all along, and they never seriously expected Kars to share this power with them.   They practically worshipped Kars as it was, so maybe they were only doing this for the greater glory of their leader.   

So what does Kars plan to do with all of this power he now has?   The Aja Stone was his only goal before, and that’s done.    He has no enemies to fear, and as Speedwagon observes, there’s no way left to kill him.    This page states that his only purpose now is to create a world to match his own desire, but what is that?   What’s Kars’ vision for the Earth now that he’s reached this point?   

We never really find out, and I suppose that’s why it’s convenient that he decided to start out by killing Joseph.    For all we know, he would have just chilled out and left humanity alone after that, but this way there’s still an immediate threat to deal with.  

Miraculously, Joseph manages to stay ahead of Kars long enough to find the airplane that brought Stroheim here.   You’d think Kars could have caught up to him with all these fancy new powers, but Kars was never in much of a hurry.    He took his time to search for the Aja Stone, and he made it a point to trap Jojo and Lisa rather than risk fighting them fairly.  So even now, when he has such an overwhelming advantage, he seems to be playing things the same way.   He has no weaknesses, so he may as well take his time and stalk Joseph, if only to watch him squirm.

Joseph tries using the plane’s weapons to even the odds, but Kars grows armadillo hide on his wings to protect himself, and he fires the armor at Joseph like shrapnel.   So machinery doesn’t seem to make much of a difference.   

So Joseph just flies south, using the plane’s engines to give himself a comfortable lead.   He’ll run out of fuel in a couple of hours, but Speedwagon calls him on the radio and tells him that they’ll figure out a plan.   Except that Joseph already has his own plan.  There’s a volcanic island off the coast of Italy.  I assume this is Stromboli Island, since Italy has only three active volcanoes, and Mt. Stromboli is the only one on an island.   Anyway, Joseph plans to lure Kars into the volcano, and destroy him with molten lava.    I mean, Kars is still flammable, right?

Speedwagon hates this idea, because he doesn’t see any way for Joseph to pull this off without getting killed in the process, and that sounds way too much like what happened to Joseph’s father and grandfather.  Oh, and his great-grandfather.   I didn’t notice George I up there until just now.   Speedwagon tries to tell Joseph about Lisa being his mom, but Joseph can’t hear him because of all the piranha noises in the plane.    Wait... what?

Yeah, all the feathers that Kars turned into armor and launched into the fuselage?   Well, he’s still controlling those things, and now Kars has turned them into piranhas.   Well, I guess not literal fish, since they’d never survive up here.  The point is that Kars can control every cell in his body and mimic any animal traits he wants, so if he wants to make small bitey creatures to wreck Joseph’s plane, he might as well make them look like piranhas.    ALso he makes an octopus that tears up one of the engines.  

So Joseph bails out, but he’s a sitting duck in that parachute.    Kars calls him a butterfly caught in a web, which is the second time we’ve seen that analogy in Part 2.   Araki just out here telling everyone what Jolyne would be wearing in twelve years. 

But the parachute contains a dummy.    Why did Joseph waste time drawing a face on it?   Because he knew he had to fool Kars’ razor-sharp senses, of course.    Kars probably saw the dummy, and got suspicious, but then he noticed the eyes and mouth, and though “Oh, okay, I guess that’s a real person then.”  

Anyway, this suckers Kars in so that Joseph can crash into him with his plane and they can both go into the volcano together.

But Kars thinks he can tear up the plane before it lands.   Except a robot hand grabs him from behind, and he finds Stroheim stowed away.   Wait, so Stroheim outran Joseph AND Kars and hid in this plane before Joseph took off?   

Anyway, Stroheim manages to get Joseph out of the plane to relative safety, but he crushes his whole lower body in the process.  But it seems to be worth it, because Kars landed smack-dab in the volcano!  Awesome!   Fuck you, Kars, you screwed over Lisa Lisa, and that’s what you get!   He tries to protect himself, but he can’t grow a defense against 1000 degree heat...

... is what I would say, except no, Kars totally does that.   Just when Joseph thinks Kars has succumed to the lava, Kars pops out and slices off Joseph’s left arm with his goofy blade.  

How the fuck did Kars survive?   Well, he couldn’t grow a lava-proof shell, but he could create a porous layer beneath the shell, and use the air inside to insulate the rest of his body from the heat.   That wouldn’t protect him indefinitely, but it was enough to get the drop on Joseph.  

So that’s it then, right?  Not even molten lava can kill Kars, unless you could shove him down in there and keep him still for like ten minutes, and who’s going to pull that off?    Stroheim begins to lose all hope...

Then we get a flashback to Kars’ origin.   Long, long ago, there was a race of subterranean humanoid with long lifespans and an aversion to sunlight.   Prehistoric humans thought of them as gods or demons because of their reclusiveness and power.   Also, they would eat humans and animals, so that probably made them dangerous, too.   

But I don’t think they were nearly as powerful as the Pillar Men we’ve seen in this story.   I say this because the flashback establishes that Kars was the one who discovered the latent power in their brains, and he was the one who invented the Stone Mask technology to harness that latent power.   So it stands to reason that much of what he and the others could do was the result of Stone Mask enhancements.   The problem is that those enhancements increased the amount of blood they needed to consume, and the others in the Clan feared that Kars’ experiments would destroy their whole ecosystem.   So when they tried to stop Kars, he killed them all.   The only survivors were himself, Esidisi, and two young children who grew up to become Wammu and Santana.  

So that story tells you something about what Kars might do with this newfound “ultimate” power.   He didn’t achieve this for the good of his own people, because they’re all dead now, and he wiped most of them out personally.   If he would do that to his own kind, the rest of the Earth would be expendable to him.

Back to the present, Joseph’s not giving up yet.   He tries to use the Ripple one more time, but it doesn’t work.   Worse, Kars counters with his own Ripple.    Because Kars can do that now, you see.    He’s got the powers of all life on Earth, and that includes Ripple users, I suppose.   Worse, Kars’ Hamon power is hundreds of times greater, so he ends up getting badly burned on his right knee.  

So now Joseph’s completely out of tricks, and he starts to accept the inevitable.   Kars decides that the best way to kill Joseph would be to destroy him with his own finisher, Ripple Overdrive.  So he charges up the most powerful Hamon attack he can muster, and just as he’s about to strike...

Joseph impulsively grabs the Red Stone of Aja and uses it to block, kind of like how he stymied Kars back on that cliff in Switerland.   Only this time, Kars doesn’t hold back, and the Hamon attack is amplified.    It bursts through Joseph’s right hand and into the volcano below. 

The narration says that not even Joseph really understood any of this.   He just sort of acted on instinct.   That bothered me once, but now I see that it wasn’t entirely unconscious impulse.   Back in Venice, when Lisa first told Joseph about the Aja Stone, Joseph suggested destroying it to deny Kars his prize. But Lisa said there was a legend that foretold that Kars could never be defeated without the Aja Stone.   And that would at least explain why Joseph picked the thing up back in Switzerland before he fled to Mt. Stromboli.    Maybe it was unconscious action that made him pick up the stone in this fateful moment, but I think it was a more conscious thought that made him take the stone with him in the first place.   On some level, he remembered that legend.  

Okay, so there’s a mega-ultra-Super-Saiyan-5-Ripple that just went into a live volcano.    What good does that do?   Well, it makes the volcano erupt, and it launches Joseph and Kars into the air.    So what?   Kars can fly.    Yeah, he could, but...

You know, Joseph’s lost hand really left an impression on me when I first watched the anime of Part 2, but now that I’ve read the manga, I’ve noticed tons of severed and wounded forearms all through this story, almost as if Araki had been building up to this moment.    I’d make a Part 4 joke, but nah, that’s too easy.   But it wasn’t even that long ago that Wammu lost both of his hands, and then he launched them as Joseph to distract him.    Kars lost his hand before he grew it back and turned it into a squirrel.    Hell, Stroheim launched his robot hand at Kars to distract him for the volcano crash.   And now Joseph’s hand has somehow launched itself into Kars’ throat to distract him again!

I’m assuming that Hamon energy has a lot to do with this.   You’d think Joseph’s hand wouldn’t have survived getting fired up this high, and it shouldn’t be powerful enough or alive enough to bother Kars this much, but it does.   So I’m chalking it up to all that Ripple energy.  It briefly reanimated Joseph’s hand and made it follow Kars up to this altitude, kind of like how Jonathan controlled Wang Chung’s decapitated body at the end of Part 1.

So Joseph taunts Kars about this, and implies that he planned this somehow.    And when Kars pauses to ask if he did plan this, more rocks and stuff from the volcano hit him and send him even higher up into the air.

And Joseph claims that he did plan this entire thing!  That’s bullshit, but he hopes Kars will believe it, if only to make him more frustrated.    Maybe Joseph didn’t plan all this out, but he seems to have deduced what’s happening here.  

Kars has been launched so high into the air, and at such an incredible speed, that he’s achieved escape velocity.    Does Kars even realize what that means?   I mean, he’s super-intelligent, especially now, and he’s been alive for thousands of years, but what could he really know about outer space?    Has he ever even considered it before?  It seems like all of his ambitions involve the Earth, and only the Earth, and everything living upon it.  

As for Joseph, the chunk of rock he’s on does not fly into space.   Instead, it starts to fall back down, and Joseph assumes that he’s probably not going to survive the impact.    Eight hours later, Stroheim makes it back and informs Speedwagon that Joseph must have died in the eruption.   

But Kars isn’t worried at first, because he thinks he has this whole “vacuum of space” thing figured out.  He just takes a page from Wammu’s playbook and makes air jets on his back to expel compressed gas from his body, like the maneuvering thrusts on a spacecraft.  Except that’s not nearly enough to counteract the force of the volcano that sent him up here.  

Yeah, Kars has no idea how space works.  Instinctively, he probably counted on friction to slow him down, except there is no friction in space.   He probably also expected his air jets to push him a little bit at a time, and maybe he could pull in more air as needed, except there is no more air.   Even the air from his body is denied to him, because it just dissipates into the vacuum of space.    Kars talks about the air freezing as it comes out, but I don’t think that’s right.   What’s happening to him is like when you use one of those compressed gas canisters to clean your keyboard.    Release a lot of the gas at once, and the can starts to get cold.   That’s because the liquefied gas left inside the can now has more room, and it begins to boil as it expands.    This draws in heat from the surroundings, which makes the can feel cold to the touch.    That’s what’s happening to Kars here.   All he’s doing it losing all his body heat.   Maybe some of the air really is freezing around him, but I don’t know.   It depends on whether the sunlight is hitting him, I think.

Anyway, the last thing Kars says is “I can’t go back!!!” And that’s what makes this so perfect.   In the anime, we see the Earth recede into the distance as he continues to tumble further and further away. By surviving the lava, Kars had “mastered” the Earth, but now he’s been separated from the Earth.   He’s got all this incredible power, but without the Earth, he’s got no one to use it on.

And then we come to the pièce de résistance of Battle Tendency: The epilogue page that establishes, in no uncertain terms, that Kars never returned to the Earth.   There’s no miracle escape this time, no clever trick or loophole.   He simply doesn’t have the necessary acceleration to push himself back the way he came. 

Did he die?   Nope, because he made himself immortal, remember?   Not even sunlight or starvation can destroy him now.   But now death is the only thing he craves, because he’s completely alone and has nothing to do.   I can’t imagine he’s very comfortable like this either, because it’s incredibly cold in outer space, and Kars must be able to sense that cold, even if it doesn’t actually hurt him.  

And this is such a fitting punishment for a villain like Kars.  Just as Stroheim wanted to become superior and lost his humanity in the process, Kars ruthlessly sacrificed friend and foe alike to achieve this Ultimate form, and what good does it do him?    It’s become his prison, his hell.    At long last, he’s become the supreme being, a world unto himself, but with no one around to lord it over, there’s really no point to any of it.  

I just really love this ending.   I’m not sure how else I can express it.    This is what should have happened to Akio Othori in Revolutionary Girl Utena.    But Araki was brace enough to do it to Kars.  

I suppose I could attempt some exercise in JoJo Part Comparison and connect Kars’ final fate to all the other JoJo villains.    But I dunno, this is getting pretty long in the tooth as it is.   I’ll just say that I’m suddenly reminded of Reimi’s final words to Kira in Part 4, when Kira asks where he’s being taken.   “Who knows?   But I’m sure it’s somewhere you won’t be able to rest in peace.”

So all that’s left is the matter of Joseph’s funeral-- Nah, just kidding, he’s not even dead.   What’s weird is that Smokey says he met Joseph “six months ago”, which seems a lot longer than the events of this story.    Anyway, Joseph returned to New York, only to find everyone at the cemetary.   He wonders who they’re mourning, and he’s shocked to discover it’s him.

So yeah, the rock Joseph was on acted as a “shield”, and he managed to survive the fall, and even ended up near Venice, where Suzie Q found him and tended to his injuries.  Stroheim even set him up with a robotic hand to replace the one Kars lopped off.   I guess Stroheim never sent word of any of this to the U.S., probably because of Nazi Germany gearing up for World War II.  

Anyway, Suzie took care of him for like two weeks, and they got married.   So in a way, Joseph did follow in the legacy of Jonathan.   Not in the “dying young” way, but the “Beat the bad guy and wake up in the care of a gorgeous blonde lady who eventually marries you” kind of way.   You love to see it.   But Suzie forgot to send a telegram to New York to let everyone know Joseph was okay, which is why everyone is so shocked and why Joseph is so shocked about them being shocked.

Then we get the epilogues for all the surviving characters.   I mentioned this when I liveblogged the Part 5 manga a few years ago, but the stark contrast between Battle Tendency and Vento Aureo is that Part 5 is very ambiguous about its ending.   We know who wins and who loses and who survives, but that isn’t really enough.   We don’t know what will happen to Giorno Giovanna after Part 5.   Does he live up to his lofty dream, or does he succumb to corruption like his wicked father?  I think that’s intentional, because Giorno is the “golden wind” in the story.    He’s an agent of change, but we don’t get to see the effects of his efforts, only the cause that he fights for.    But Part 2 operates in the exact opposite way.   We know exactly how and when Speedwagon dies.   I’m a little confused how Stroheim could have died at Stalingrad when Kars and a volcano couldn’t kill him, but maybe the Russians had Stand powers.    I think the only minor mystery is that we don’t know what happened to Lisa Lisa after 1948.    It’s likely that she survived into Part 3, and maybe beyond, but we never see her again.

It’s also kind of weird how upbeat this epilogue is about reporting on the deaths of so many characters.   Like, Stroheim died in one of the worst battles in human history, but he went out on his own terms, so it’s cool?  I guess?   Even the characters without deaths, like Smokey, it’s sort of implicit that he’ll die sooner or later.   But it’s a good thing because it’s final and proper.    It’s something Kars craves now, but can never experience.  A life worth living, made more precious by its limitations.  Kars tried to use cheat codes in nature, and he ended up clipping through the map and making the game unplayable.   But Smokey, he‘ll be mayor someday.

As for Joseph, we see him in an airport in 1987, bullying Japanese people because his daughter married a Japanese guy and moved there.    He’s headed to Japan right now to see her and his grandson, who probably doesn’t even recognize him, it’s been so long.   

On the other hand, he appreciates his Walkman, which is either Joseph giving the Japanese some credit, or maybe he’s just too dense to notice the irony.   

I hate that he’s listening to the Beatles, because the Beatles are overrated trash.  My favorite thing about the Part 2 anime is how they changed his music to “Bloody Stream” by Coda, which a) kicks ass and b) wasn’t a song by the shitty Beatles.  

And that’s Battle Tendency.   Kind of neat how it closes on Joseph’s flight departing to visit his daughter and grandson, in contrast to the final panel of Part 1, which showed Erina floating in a coffin alone in the ocean.   Joseph has bucked the curse and he’s graduated to Part 3, for better or worse.   

But I feel kind of weird leaving it here, because I do love the way the anime wrapped up, so I’ll close out with this:

Tsugi ni omae wa “Grazie!” to iu!

[voidstilesplease]

command me to be well

(a Beacon Hills Academy for the Supernaturals ficlet)

~•~

Supernatural creatures are known and accepted in society, and they have their branch and section in everything - the government, religion, court justice, health, food production, etc. They coexist with humans. There are still supremacist groups on both ends of the spectrum, but as a whole, supernaturals and humans share the world in equal.

In Beacon Hills Academy for the Supernaturals, mages (magic wielders) and shapeshifters (werewolves, werefoxes, were-coyotes, etc.) study and learn about themselves, strengths, and weaknesses, and adaptation in the human world. 

Stiles takes both mage and shapeshifter classes. His mother had been a fire werefox, and his grandmother a mage. The magic ability stays dormant in between generations, so Stiles received the spark that skipped his mother. Stiles's dad is the Sheriff of Beacon Hills, Homo Sapiens division. (It's not what it's called, but Stiles uses the term to annoy his father.) 

Every werefox can shift to their animal forms since birth. Their blood has no infectious components like werewolves, to turn an existing creature into one. So their kind only reproduces through procreation, but the power comes only between the ages of eighteen to twenty and never predictable. There are thirteen classifications of werefoxes: Heaven, Wind, Spirit, Fire, Earth, River, Ocean, Mountain, Forest, Thunder, Time, Sound, and Dark. And they all have to study every single one element through simulations and a weird practice called internalization. It's like the Buddhists' enlightenment when they have to "seek within themselves the core of their being" or whatever crap like that.

His mage classes are much worse. As a werefox, his reading skills are for shit, even with his human blood. His kind takes time to make sense of written symbols -it's called dyslexia in the human tongue- and so it proves to be a problem in his magic lessons.

"Stiles!" Kira, also a werefox and his non-biological sister, appears at his side after class. "Come over this afternoon and have dinner at home. Dad is making sushi."

The mention of sushi makes his mouth water, but he curls his lips downward. "I can't. I'm on my way to solitary study."

She winces sympathetically, "Yikes."

The solitary study is another word for detention in the Supernatural school. The students are put into confinement to reflect and read. It could be for an hour up to five -their offense and the amount of hate the teacher has for them decides the length of the stay. It doesn't sound bad when you hear of it the first time, but the stillness of being alone in a white room, being forced to think, drives everyone crazy. Stiles is probably the one person in the school who has seen those walls the most.

"What happened?" She asks, hoisting her backpack, forehead creasing intently.

Stiles shrugs, "In my mage class, we were practicing an incantation. I mispronounced a word because the symbols were flying all over the page," they stop walking when they reach the hallway that will separate them; Kira to the exit, and Stiles to his punishment. "All the light bulbs in the room broke simultaneously, and the shards went everywhere, mostly lodged in my classmates' and teacher's faces."

"Ouch,"

Stiles hums, curling his lips. "My incantation teacher hates me, just as much as I hate him. Every mistake I make is an excuse for him to send me to solitary. He also thinks I'm doing it on purpose. He gave me five hours today, and I'm expecting another tomorrow for the potion I fucked up earlier in another of his class."

"But that's unfair," Kira says, indignant for Stiles. "We're dyslexic. Every teacher should consider the limitations of each of us."

Stiles purses his lips but doesn't say anything. He doesn't mention to Kira that when the symbols rearrange in his mind, it's not always a gibberish mess. Sometimes, they're also perfectly readable -and quite harmful, depending on the caster's intention. He doesn't mention that more than half the time, he purposely utters curses and adds the wrong ingredients to concoctions. Stiles only does it for fun, though, to ruffle his teachers and enemies. He's a school jester; everyone knows that. He doesn't mean to cause pain to anyone -not all the time.

He's not vicious or vengeful. He swears he's not.

He's only a playful fox, curious with the less explored potentials of his power -even its violent capacity.

~•~

But it gets worse. It becomes an inclination more than a mere curiosity, especially when Stiles meets him.

In his fourth year in the Supernatural school, the management opened a program for the underaged supernaturals in the custody center. They're the young, homeless lawbreakers abandoned to the care of social workers after countless encounters with the law enforcement and their family's depletion of funds to cover the fines for damages they have caused.

The program grants them one term of attendance in the school instead of being instructed by tutors at the center, and a second one if the first term yields positive reports.

There are eight of them, and all are shapeshifters. There are three werewolves, a kanima, a wendigo, a chameleon, an electric eel (Stiles doesn't want to know how this kind came to be), and a were-coyote. All of them have criminal records, of course, but one has a count for murder - and his sister, no less. And Stiles knew him before his lock-up. They had not been friends because of Stiles's mistrust of canine shapeshifters, but he recognizes him right at first sight in years.

But while werefoxes prefer to stay away from the dogs, the latter doesn't have such urge to keep scarce, especially one among the outlaws: Theo Raeken.

He's taken one look at Stiles and decided to torment him. Witnessing Stiles do illegal magic did not help the case. Instead, it invited Theo more. Theo stalks him (as much as he can inside school grounds), stares at him, vies for his attention, pushes all the wrong but right buttons. Stiles feels repulsed by the way his blood thrums in Theo's presence. He's disgusted with himself for getting excited by his challenge. Stiles reminds himself daily that it's Theo -the one who murders their blood, and will probably have no qualms on staining their hands with someone else's. But Theo keeps provoking him, daring him to let go of caution. 

One day, Stiles does.

He unleashes himself and leaves Theo bloody, beaten-up, broken, and exhilarated, and himself satisfied for the first time. Theo stops prodding him after that. He starts tempting him: We can run. None of them listens. Their truth is the only truth. And Stiles thinks he's right.

He's almost eighteen. His fox's element should be manifesting -and it looks like it is.

~•~

"What happens if I turn out to be the wrong kind?" Stiles asks Kira one night, in the middle of video game night at her house.

Kira is focused on the screen, but she echoes Stiles. "The wrong kind?"

"A dark fox,"

That pulls Kira's attention away from the screen quicker than they can run. Her eyes are wide with alarm when she presses pause and turns to Stiles. She opens her mouth but speaks nothing for a long time. It seems she's too shocked for words. Finally, she shakes her head. "You're not."

Stiles sighs, putting down his controller. "There's one out of thirteen possibilities that I am. It's little, but it's there nonetheless."

Kira scoots closer, holding Stiles's arm, her clutch tight. "Yes, but," she stammers, "there hasn't been one in a long time."

"Of course, there isn't," Stiles agrees, looking at Kira. "They're exterminated as soon as they present to snuff out any chance of gaining power and growing a second tail."

"But you're not one," Kira says forcefully, eyes suspiciously moist.

Stiles replies softly, "I enjoy causing mayhem."

She shakes her head hard, "We all like trouble, Stiles. That's sort of what we are,"

Stiles can't look at her eyes when he admits his truth, so he turns away. "I inflict pain," Kira freezes in her touch. "and like it. The sight of blood makes me sick but with pleasure. I-" he pauses, wipes the sweat that gathered in his nose. He swallows. "I want to get into someone's head and twist their mind. I have done it, and I want to do it again."

Kira draws uneven breaths beside him. Her scent has turned sweet with fear -and though it makes his stomach twist, Stiles inhales it, savors it.

Kira's voice quivers, "If you learn to suppress it-"

"If it can be suppressed and controlled, there would've been no vulpine law authorizing the killing of a nogitsune."

Kira bows her head in defeat, sniffing.

"My magic," his whispering voice is loud in her room, reverberating in its four walls. He's been coming here since he was a child. Who knows when and if he can have the chance again. "It knows what I might be. It flows in my veins with my blood, rushing when I'm doing what I shouldn't be."

They're silent for a long moment; Stiles refuses to meet Kira's eyes, and Kira strives to calm her racing heart. She doesn't recoil from her touch, even when she was afraid. Now that the fear has subsided, she moves to kneel in front of him and takes his face between her small hands, prompting him to face her. When he raises his head, Kira's eyes are glowing, fiery around the black. Stiles flashes his in response.

"If you are," Kira says, tone final and sure. "I'm with you. You're my brother, and I love you."

Stiles knows she will stand by her words, but he doesn't wish her to. Kira has a whole life ahead of her that she can't spend hiding a nogitsune or running with one.

Because Stiles will run, damn if he won't. He's not going down, and he won't let them catch him. 

He leans his head against her hand, kissing the soft palm of it. He rubs his nose on the residual unease still clinging underneath her skin. "I love you, too."

And then he will come back invincible.

~•~

[diary20216969]

why>?

-because i have crippling gender dysphoria and even the thought of doing something so womanly makes me want to puke and then cut my ovaries out with a fork

-because i dont want stretch marks

-cause i dont want my vagina ass and clit ripped apart and then sewed back

-i dont want baby fat

-i dont wanna give life to something that may end up getting borderline personalty, depression, schizophrenia, polycistic ovarian syndrome, anxiety or substance addiction.

-cause life sucks and not putting someone through this current reality is a gesture of kindness

-cause my body is mine and i dont want anything inhabbiting it

-cause i hate commiting to anything

-cause i dont owe it to anyone

-cause breastfeeding disgusts me to the core

-cause i love y skinny body and flat tummy

-cause i love sleeping

-cause i love drugs

-cause i love fucking people

-cause i love having y perfect body worshiped

-cause i love being a sex worker

-cause i love looking young

-cause i already have enough people to provide for

-cause ive done things i’ll never be able to say out loud or forgive myself for,ever

-cause im not a walking vagina or a breathing uterus

-cause im too smart and have too any dreas and goals to accomplish instead on focusing on whiping shit out of an infant’s ass

-cause i wanna beat the shit out of any kid that cries like a stupid fuck

-cause i hate men and if i would get pregnant with a son i’d abort it instantly, lol

-cause i dont wanna go blind, have all my hair fall out

-cause i dont need any more ptsd from childbirth or depression from postpartum

-cause i dont want to spend 9 onths of my life walking on eggshells with my thoughts eotions actions and diet

-cause i love my free time

-cause i haven’t lived yet. cause i want and deserve to.

-cause i want all my money to myself

-cause i flushed the last one down the toiled, not before showing it the middle finger after causing myself an abortion and telling that little piece of shit that i won and to fuck off to hell.

-im selfish and i love it

-cause the world is dangerous and cruel

-cause kids make you weak and are a liability

-cause i just dont wanna deal with a teenager’s bullshit again

-cause i will totally fuck them up for good lol

-cause i already raised a kid while i was a kid and had no childhood or happiness

-cause i unhealthy as fuck

-cause in m family both my mom and dad, brothers and e have chronic ibs

-cause i want my childfree life to be a statement that everyone in my faily is a stupid fucking breeder and they can fuck off

-cause our planet is dying and becoming slowly inhabitable

-cause by 2030 there won’t be enough food to feed everyone

-because the world is already overpopulated and there is not enough food or space to sustain us all

- cause men exist

-cause i not a dumb animal that was born to procreate but i was born to die.

-cause there’s no life after death, and inbetween everything sucks

-cause the whole process is so goddamn disgusting

-cause the lil shits pee in my uterus, swi innit, feed on me, make me anemic, give me the most terrible mood swings i’ve fought my whole life to control

-cause they won’t be special, they will be some gross pathethic human like the rest of us

-cause i would love the ore than i love myself and that would hurt me

-cause they would grow up with a single parent

-cause their only parent would be a sex worker that had videos online with herself fucking her ass or puking for money

-cause i’ve fucked 3 kids

-cause they could be lgbt in a world that does’t accept them

-cause i’d be a emotionally unavailable parent

-cause they iage of being called ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ doesn’t ring any bell in my ind and just makes me cringe

-cause i wanna transition to looking androgynous in a couple of years, one way or another, in order to stop feeling dysphoria

-cause im a recurrent drug addict, smoker, drinker with a sex addiction

-cause i’d happily let the be the same things i am

-cause kids are so stupid and gross and we only find the things they do adorable because we are evolutionarly programmed to find them cute in order to protect them and perpetuate the species

-cause cats are so much fucking better

-cause they would most likely need to work their entire life to make money in order to not die or starve

-cause i like reading books

-cause y brother will absolutely have kids one day and thats enough

- cause my kids would be ugly as i was when i was a kid

-cause id muc rather focus on love, romance and finding the perfect girl

-cause theres so uch about myself id want to explore

-cause theres so much i havent tried yet

-

[mitterstorm]

Dance For Me

Chapter 1

“Finally we are here today to seek and to receive comfort. We would be less than honest if we said that our hearts have not ached over this situation. We are not too proud to acknowledge-

You couldn’t take it anymore, just by standing here listening to that preach addressed his departure. Your knees feel weak and your eyes burn, but you refuse to make a scene, taking deep breaths while clenching your fists is helping you calm down.

Still, it’s not enough.

You want to scream again just as you did when you saw his body limp against yours, scratch your arms in attempts of making the pain and hurt go away. To drift your mind from these ugly feelings.

A sick way of coping indeed, teensy bit of self-harm ain't going to kill you. It helps you somehow, preventing yourself from breaking even further in a public place like the cemetery.

Finally, you regain control of yourself and shift back to the preacher. Unfortunately, he concluded, now you have to prepare for the worse.  

Henry, who is your most precious friend, is dead. His body was being carried away in the concealment of a coffin; he said his last farewell to you early in the morning when you ate breakfast with him, offering your company so he wouldn't feel alone, regain some strength by appreciation itself.

Something was up that morning; the old fart was more talkative than usual and flashed a smile here and there. You are at fault for not noticing from the start. You should have been more perceptive and observant; you are keen on people after all, especially when he gave you that look as if he was parting ways with you. He didn’t fight death, accepted it as embracing a hug from an old friend. That thought alone fills your head with doubt.

Was he even happy when he left?

 Did he feel satisfied with the life he lived?

 Were you enough?

 Fuck, you never would've imagined his passing will affect you this much.

<<You old geezer, why were you so kind to me? Why did we let ourselves get attached?>>

The time is near, you will eventually have to confront him with all of these people staring at you, but you need to be strong for sake. You are what’s left of his loved ones. Linda died long ago. They never had a chance to procreate and bring a new life, Joey went mad or something along those lines.

Just like the rest of the crew, and he didn’t make any friends while he was on service for the military. If he did, they were dead. He didn’t like to talk about it.

<<I tried to make you happy, make you feel at ease as you did for me>>

Yet he kept secrets from you, of course, you respected his wishes and didn’t pry any further.

However, it stung.

<<Now it’s not time to reminisce, there’s nothing to reminisce for me at the moment>>

They called your name to the front; you ran out of time. It’s your turn. Is your first time burying someone, yes, you have assisted other burials besides this one, but now you are who’s lost a loved one. Those past times were favors people close to you had asked a long time ago; they said it felt nice to have somebody there when someone else is missing in their lives. In other words, you were there as comfort. A shoulder they could use to cry and lean on.

Hesitant, you take away from the burier’s grasp his shovel and with a gulp. You start shoveling some dirt into the hole were Henry’s coffin lies.

<<Shit, I can’t stop trembling! Come on, stop being a pussy and get over with this!>>

Despite that, your body wouldn’t obey, it made you look clumsy. No matter how much you lied to yourself.

You are scared.

After burying Henry, your vision goes black.

Waking up tomorrow morning at home without a clue of how you got there made your mind fuzzy.

How fun.

You try to get up, but end up failing.

“Fuuuuuck! Why do I feel like absolute shit! Everything hurts!” These feel just like a hangover. Why does it feel like one? Did you go to a bar once Henry’s funeral ended? How much did you drink?

“Enough to blackout it appears,” You say under your breath. Of course, your dumb ass would go to a bar and get drunk to cope with the pain! An upcoming headache awaits you for being arbitrary, instead of showing apprehension towards the situation and mourn, as you should, your voice of reason zonked out. “I reek of booze. Agh, it stinks”.

No more addressing what happened yesterday; feeling like trash isn't doing you any good. Henry would have called you out on your bullshit.

"Stop whining like a whore and man up, chum! I'll buy you a drink. Later we can relax and cut you some slack, nothing a magsman like myself can't do".

“Ok boomer,” You said in a humdrum tone, at least it made you laugh internally. “lo and behold, this will be a shitty morning-err afternoon, it’s 1 PM, I thought it was too early to be awake”.

That means it’s time for brunch.

Must compel your stomach desires, eat a lot little of food. Therefore, you'll have to leave the bed, go downstairs where the kitchen is; you force yourself out of the comfiness that are your covers. So you walk out of the room barefoot towards the kitchen. You open the fridge faking interest with whatever is inside and close it, then repeat, only that this time you pay a little more of attention.

You grab the water pitcher and pour some in a glass, then look for oatmeal and toss three spoonfuls of it at the water, after that you chuck a spoonful of sugar and mix it. A simple drink full of roughage. It’ll suffice for now.

*Clink clink*

Metal hitting porcelain serves you as a white noise to rearrange your thoughts. Yesterday was hectic and had your mind high wire, you were thinking about the old man; how long have you two been friends? Five or six years more or less, you met each other by autumn at a hospital. On that occasion, you were merely an intern in the middle of their practice and had to change sheets, deliver meals, give them their meds and reassure they took them at the time the doctors had said. Like a nurse or carer (the difference it’s you possess more knowledge than one and can prescribe medication, it was also part of your duty as a trainee assisting the doctors with whatever you could). That’s how both of you came face to face with.

Mr. Stein was sick and injured. He needed to tend some wounds since they required special treatment. Battle scars, you didn’t know at the time, however, as days passed, you became close to him, he told you how he got them; the biggest can be found on his back.  

Unfortunately, a sharp pain arose, preventing you from wandering further in the past. You had forgotten about your headache, which it’s more noticeable now, you are sure there aren’t any pills left.

“I ain’t leaving being this crappy, besides I don’t feel like moving right now…” Your eyelids are heavy and keeping them open, it’s such a pain, so you shut ‘em in hopes of relaxing for a little bit. Leaning your back on the kitchen island while drinking your beverage, its coldness helping you somehow with the throb.

Once again, your mind wanders.

Thanks to it, you know where to find some ibuprofen.

“Are these the ones?” You asked while holding a box for him to see, squinting Henry finally recognized the packet.

“What’s it called again?” He questioned, rubbing his head to ease the ache a bit. His voice raspy because of a dry throat. His normal soft tone replaced by a croaky. He’s clearly suffering.  

“Ibuprofen.” You read aloud as you’ve been asked and turn back to look at him.

“Yup, that’s the one, lass. I know I’ve bothered you enough, but could you serve me a glass of water?”

“You old coot, not a bother at all. I’ll be back with your water in a jiffy”.

The pills are somewhere inside Henry’s studio. You can do that, going upstairs isn’t as demanding as buying them, cuz leaving home means changing clothes that look presentable and aren’t dirty. Henceforth, you don’t feel in the mood for seeing the outside.

“I should stop thinking of how lazy I am and look for those meds…” Talking to yourself it’s quite common, so you ain’t no stranger to these situations.

Therefore, you took a break from your bullshit and went upstairs where Henry Stein used to draw; he passed most of his time in there, secluded from the outside world, before military service, he worked at an animation studio owned by the man he once considered his best friend, Joey Drew was his name if your memory doesn’t fail you.

Your friend called him a bastard, never explained why only responded by saying: “He lost his mind.”

Nevertheless, Henry kept drawing cartoons, and sometimes, he would let you watch him sketch and answered your questions. He carried on with his old comics he left unfinished long ago. The same he had drawn back thirty years ago. The main characters are three little fellas: Bendy, Alice Angel, and Boris. Henry said they animated their adventures and later on, added side characters. The Butcher Gang, if you recall, also consists of a trio: Charley, Barley, and Edgar.

When Henry started storytelling, you felt like a kid back again, he could’ve marked your childhood just as the rest of animators who made those toons while you were a child. Oh, how you treasured these memories, you’ll never forget the time you spent together.

Evoking past times has helped to soothe your headache an itty-bitty, yet you still need to find the ibuprofen.

“Where could it be…” You asked to no one, hoping the walls may respond, even though it’ll never happen.

Seeking everywhere you soon turned the room upside down, papers on the floor resembling a carpet, art supplies rolling across the table (pencils, colors, pens, paintbrushes, blending stumps, etc.) and some books based on anatomy and animation were disorganized on their bookshelves. It all ended after you opened a drawer (this one didn’t need your touch, it was already a disorder) and found what you were looking for, and because of your rashness, more papers fell on the floor.

“Damn, what a mess…” You muttered under your breath a little irritated with yourself for being so careless while searching. You collected the papers and put them in order back again one by one, because of it you grew curious and read some of them, a letter grabbed your attention.

It was one of those fancy letters with a seal and all (what does it say? Seems of importance).

You don’t consider yourself nosy, just interested in its contents.

<<From Joey Drew? Huh, looks like your old buddy send you his salutations after all this time>>

Oh, you had no idea.

Henry knew about the letter, he already read it and did as they told him. The old studio where they used to make dreams come true transformed into a living hell.

‘DEAR HENRY

IT SEEMS LIKE A LIFETIME AGO SINCE WE WORKED ON CARTOONS TOGETHER.

30 YEARS REALLY SLIPS AWAY, DOESN’T IT?

IF YOU ARE BACK IN TOWN, COME VISIT THE OLD WORKSHOP.

THERE’S SOMETHING I NEED TO SHOW YOU.

YOUR BEST PAL, JOEY DREW’.

You finished reading the letter.

*Snrk*

Well shit.

Did you just read a confession or a love letter? Why not both? You don’t know why, but it feels like one.

“Okay, let’s stop right there. I can’t make jokes on circumstances as these ones”.

What could be so urgent for Joey to write a letter after thirty years of silence?

Should you investigate?

<<The letter could’ve been sent years ago! Henry surely read it; otherwise, it wouldn’t be inside a drawer of his studio, though there’s a possibility he didn’t, I doubt it. He must have seen his friend has written message>>

Okay, sure. Let’s suppose he didn’t pay any mind to the damn thing, you can pretend, now the real issue it’s the location. Joey Drew Studios must be closed (or broken down into pieces, you didn’t know if they decided to demolish the whole building).

“Wake up ___! Face reality, you shouldn’t be fantasizing, this ain’t some silly story with you as a heroine…instead of wasting my time, I shall swallow that damn pill and take some zzz’s”.

You left Henry’s solace and went to bed once again after you swallowed the pill with some water. A dreamless sleep greeted you.

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bendy’s POV

“ん乇'丂 ムの刀乇”.

Even though he should be celebrating, the Inkarnate can’t seem to find any joy in his being, no emotion tried to overtake him. Why? He doesn’t feel anything. True, he may not possess all the emotions a human has, but anger, joy, sadness, and hysteria weren’t unbeknownst him. There’s no satisfaction nor sorrow towards his creator’s death, not even an ounce of regret. Ok no, he won’t sense any guilt for what happened to Henry, he deserved to die just as much as Joey, but he was grasping straws in here!

How’s it possible to not perceive the slightest of emotion within himself?

The Ink Demon was turning apathetic in regards to the subject; he didn’t have an answer as to why. One thing he’s sure of, his world turned dull no longer exciting as he thought.

It was as if the little dancing demon had opened his eyes for the first time, after all those years blinded by the dripping ink, before that, he only saw what his mind showed him. He finally realized how monochromatic his world truly is.

All is black and white for the demon’s eyes.

A wave of indifference invades his mind and his mind is fuzzy, he dissolves into his inky form and rests.

However, not for much.

“-aHahaHAhahaHahaHAhaha!”

Alice.

That bitch.

He despises her nearly as much as those liars, yet the little devil darling couldn’t give a damn about her right now. Let her laugh all she wants as the malady she’s. The Angel probably got the word, celebrating, unlike him.

Immersing himself even more inside the ink, he found…peace. He can work with that, serenity aids his jumbled thoughts; darkness envelopes him and swallows his body whole.

<<In the end…I feel empty. Is this how revenge it’s supposed to be like?>>

He can’t respond to that, how could he? He doesn’t even know what’s life supposed to feel like.

<<Their imagination cursed us all with life, they couldn’t take responsibility for their actions and show us how to drive through it>>

Back when he was the small little imp everybody loved, there were all kind of colors, unlike now. The studio felt warm in contrast to all the ink that surrounds it now.

The remains of those old days lurk inside the deep abyss as ink creatures, husks who replaced the humans that worked here.

Thinking about it got him tired, Bendy finds himself drifting from consciousness, he’s falling asleep.

“Was it worth it?”

<<Again that cunt>> Despite his thoughts, the Inkarnate didn’t feel irascible towards the narcissist woman. Actually, there isn’t much for him to perceive.

She’s not in here, she wouldn’t dare to step a foot on his domain. The wench had the nerve of placing her cutouts and posters; he destroyed a few just as she did the same. She is communicating with him using a damaged poster with her face.

“I know you can hear me, demon, don’t fake pretend.”

“Wんﾘ りの ﾘのひ ᄃﾑ尺乇?” He hopes to scare her, even though he knows it won’t work while using his beast form for some reason his speech turns nightmarish. Yet he doesn’t wield it often because of how difficult is controlling his instincts. Thoughts become more primal, talking it’s hard after a few hours transformed in it gets tiring, and he can’t measure his own force. He favors his inky form best: practical and gets the job done.

“I don’t”. So she’s just shitting with him, insufferable.

“Then why ask?”

“Spirit of inquiry. Your relationship intrigues me, up there in Heaven, we get curious as to why you didn’t kill him yourself. And don’t even try to justify your actions. You had many opportunities. The little errand boy nearly ends up killing you, he tried the same with me”.

After listening to what the Angel had to said, his permanent smile turned slowly into a frown. It’s never a good thing when the Lord ain’t wearing one.

“…”

“Well?”

The fallen angel is laughing at him.

“Not even you know the reason behind your acts of mercy!” He remains silent, it’s not like she’s wrong, the little devil does not why he was so resilient with Henry.

After that fiasco, she left him be.

Thanks to Alice’s short visit, Bendy finds questioning why she dropped by. They hate one another, true. She has eyes here and there, but it’s to keep him in line, so he won’t cross an inky limb on her domain. Unlike the female cartoon, he does not have any cutouts, posters, plushies, or ink servants near her place. He wants nothing to do with her. That’s why he finds it so unusual, it’s not like her.

Unless…

She fancies something he has.

<<If that bitch knows what’s good for her, she won’t be picking her nose in my business>>

Later he’ll do his rounds throughout the studio, maybe, the imp will find what she’s searching before she does, whatever it may be, he won’t let her have it.

He’ll make sure of it.

Who knows what her deranged mind has planned; he’s tired of the gruesome scenery this place is in, corpses all around, clones of his ol’ friend bring back unsavory images from the past. Oh, Lawrence, he’s a madman, made satanic circles as a way of showing his devotion towards the black devil. Thanks to Sammy, he has eyes in nearly the entire place.

Yes, he’s aware the musician it’s alive, but Sammy Lawrence continues being of use for him.

<<I’ll take care of him when I wake up…>>

He’s exhausted. However, he stays on his beast form sunken in ink.

The demon’s slumber it’s a peaceful one…

.

   .

   .

   .

   .

   Until you enter his kingdom.

 An animalistic rumble shakes the tinted walls.

 He’s coming for you.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days.

You paced on the issue for three days, until you finally had an answer.

“I’m gonna pay a visit to your ol’ pal, maybe he’s still alive…or not…” You lowered your voice in the last part; Henry called Joey a bastard and accused him of being mentally unstable, you trust his word, but what if…what if he changed? There’s a possibility he redeemed himself and went through a rehabilitation process to help him with his instability.

<<I need to look for the address and from there I’ll see what can be done>>

You googled ‘Joey Drew Studios’ on your phone and within seconds Google Maps showed up, you were going to click at it, but then something catches your eye.

An article and it’s quite old.

‘Joey Drew Studios, also known as the workshop. Is an American corporation and an animation studio of the Bendy franchise, established in 1929.

Founded by Joey Drew and Henry Stein in an unknown full date other than the year of 1929, Joey Drew Studios is located at Broadway, Brooklyn, New York City, New York.

In 1946, Joey Drew Studios was under investigation after reports of hazardous work environments, missing employees, harassment, and excessive back pay, as well the company's danger of being bankrupt, all of which are a result of Joey's mismanagement of the studio. Anonymous employees threatened to make labor unions over the poor conditions, which included unpermitted buildings, hazardous electrical wiring, and a plumbing system prone to bursting. In addition, there were excessive work hours, most of which were unpaid and several animators were unable to see their families in weeks, after being threatened with disciplinary action and termination if they were unable to finish animations on tight schedules.

There were reports of barricaded offices, employees locked up in work spaces, and complaints of crazy malfunctioning machinery. Despite the evidence against the company, Joey Drew remained firm that the studio has done nothing wrong, calling the accusations "preposterous" and "ridiculous", dismissing them as either complaint from menial employees, or feeble attempts by competing studios to discredit Joey.

On August 16, 1959, the law firm known as Snooks, Spitner and Snooks sued Joey Drew, having heard the rumors of Joey's mismanaging of his own workers. 12 days later, the studio was closed down in accordance to legal regulation 11 U.S Code § 1125 (which forbids the misrepresentation of legally established companies) as evident by the bankruptcy report found in Joey's apartment, as well as health and safety concerns directly by the mention of a health and safety board meeting schedule found in the appointment lobby.’

Oof.

<<That’s a lot to take in>>

Why the fuck would Henry’s friend would want to meet at that nightmare show? Has he learned nothing after all this years? And not only that, the sucker it´s/was an abusive prick with his employees!

<<Man, you weren’t joking>>

You fear a screw lose isn’t Joey’s only problem.

<<He sounds like an asshole, I don’t want to put up with his shit...I’ve got enough dealing with people like him on a daily basis. Sure, not everyone it’s an ass and there’s some decent/kind people out there, but handling jerks as the likes of him tires me out>>

Sometimes you aren’t the most patient person, it all depends. But this whole ordeal it’s too much for you.

<<The studio is in the big city, New York it’s fucking expensive. I don’t have the money for travelling that far, I’ll have to bid on my savings and package supplies for the journey>>

Crap. Three days and you didn’t think all of this through! How can you be so stupid?!

Now this looks like one of those impulsive decisions you take for being careless and inattentive.

<<How could Henry put up with me when not even I can stand myself?!>>

You need an adult, that’s what you ought to have beside you.

Your life is such a mess sometimes…

“Before spending money on my idiocy I should read more and prepare myself.” You mutter angrily to yourself.

That’s exactly what you did the next two days, finally you are ready for departing.

You grab your backpack and the car’s keys. “Cellphone in the front pocket, all that’s left is open the door, lock it and call Abby, easy.”

During those two days you made a few calls and went up for gas, it was going to be a long trip from Miami to New York. Sure, it ain’t that extensive, but you’ll be driving by yourself for approximately 20 hours. A place to stay, money, gasoline and food are big girl’s problems. Not counting the money you’ll spend on a cheap motel to rest your head.

“That or make a few stops on gas stations…maybe sleeping in the car won’t be that bad…” The good thing is you have options; you aren’t tied solely to one alternative.  

<<Abby won’t charge me for doing me this favor, another plus>>

She’ll guard the house in your absence and will call if any emergency transpires.

Now, you are free to go.

<<I hope I made a good decision doing this>>

The first 8 hours were a torment, bored and your ass felt numb of sitting for that long, the last time you remained that still was in high school, since you made your schedule. Your feet hurt just as your arms did. You made a stop for eating and going to the bathroom, after that another 8 hours.

Overall, the journey was relaxing, while driving you admired the views offered to you, savoring each sight. It helped you keeping away some melancholy.

You miss Henry, no matter how much you tried to distract yourself with this excursion of yours, the emptiness stays in the back of your mind.

Your wounds are still fresh, you haven’t mourned properly, because you don’t want to. That’s why you are doing this, to keep yourself busy so you won’t think about it. You need it, you ain’t prepared for it yet.

Soon you’ll be.

After a short nap (before that you made many stops, ‘cuz you’re a whining bitch who ain’t strong enough to control her fucking bladder), you started driving again. You have three or four hours left on the road.

Time to listen some music, you activate Bluetooth and connect your phone to the car’s stereo, finally you found a song of your liking in Spotify and play it. You spent the rest of the trip singing along; sometimes you’ll speed up a little bit on the spur of the moment.

Soon you got to your destination, didn’t waste time changing clothes, you collapsed on the bed in the motel and slept for an hour. After that, you washed yourself and got ready for visiting Joey Drew.

“Here goes nothing…”

You regret already coming here, silly you just ruined a change of clothes! Why is there so much ink? You’ll never get out the ink of your shoes, fuck! You have been here for less than ten minutes and all went to shit for you! It doesn’t help this place keeps giving you the heebies-jeebies! Every time you take a step on the creaky wooden floor it feels as if someone is following you, like a slithering sound. The ink splashes keep creeping you out, if it wasn’t black you would think it’s blood, Jesus Christ.

<<Thank God, the lights still work; it would make this place spookier if they didn’t>>

As you venture further deeper into the studio, a beast rumbles, shaking everything around you, more ink drops fall.

At that moment…

…you knew you fucked up.

So you hide.

Your mind provides you one last thought before going high drive

‘WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!’

<<FUUU-

[cherrycoveredpythia]

Extended thoughts on Brave the Tempest

2017’s Ride the Storm closed out the four-book arc that also included Hunt the Moon, Tempt the Stars, and Reap the Wind.  In these books, Cassie battled Ares and his minions while drawing closer to Pritkin and eventually hunting him through time and space. She learns more about her abilities while trying to save his life, and also becomes a reluctant power player in supernatural (and inter-dimensional) politics. Without her faithful companion by her side, she becomes more confident in her own powers and resourcefulness. Of course, she’s still Cassie, so all her discoveries and victories are slapdash and hard-won. But they are still victories. She’s a daughter of Chaos, give her a break.

Brave the Tempest focuses on Cassie’s political duties and her complicated feelings about being a leader and a “hero”. She’s now slain two gods (with help), but that doesn’t result in easy respect from the witches or the vampires. The witches see her as a tool of the Silver Circle, while the vampires see her as an extension of Mircea. They are all so wrong.

Cassie has to demonstrate her full strength to convince these factions to cooperate with her. It works, but nothing is ever simple. In the long run, who will love her and who will fear her? 

She’s becoming more like her mother every day.

Overall feelings

There are some amazing, joyful moments here. Please understand that I adore these books and characters, so I say this with love…

… but the book felt disjointed to me. We buzz back and forth from the witches to the vampires to the demons, and then go to Faerie and Victorian England. We get emotional scenes with Mircea, Pritkin, Marco, Rhea, and Rico. Augustine brings home a kidnapped fae. Tami needs to hire some staff but no one will take the job. Fred is a spy. Cassie is exhausted. I felt kind of exhausted too.

Important plotlines: Cassie’s growing pains with her powers, the political trouble with the witches and vampires, and the imminent invasion of Faerie. And then there was the timeline rupture. The rupture was terrifying and the fight with Jo in Victorian London was a full-on horror show. Cassie learned more about Pythian spells and then linked up her powers with Pritkin through the Lover’s Knot spell.  She’ll probably need these tools for the coming showdown. She and Pritkin are even more powerful together than they are apart. And they are both forces for good. But will everyone see them that way?

I think Karen is just laying out all the pieces for the next arc. It’s a little messy right now, but it will all fit together soon. I’m glad that Shatter the Earth is coming in December. If I had to wait another two years for the next book, I would be upset.

Favorite moments

Pritkin flirting and Cassie retaliating during S’mores night. Especially the marshmallow at the end. Goddamn.

The Dickening.

Everything related to Saffy and Vi, and seeing Saffy and Rhea becoming friends. I think she is a great influence on Rhea.

Pritkin and Cassie’s meeting with Adra. I high-key love Adra. He’s a really interesting foil for Caedmon, who leads their alliance with the “heavenly” planes. Caedmon is manic and charming, while Adra is pleasant and even-keeled. Except when he forgets to animate his glamourie. I reallllllly want to know what Adra looks like under there, but I figure he’s a Lovecraftian monster that would drive us insane.  

Adra shading Pritkin for never attending demon council meetings like other “heirs apparent.” 

Cassie nonchalantly offering to bring Adra to the vampire council.

Gertie nonchalantly easing Pritkin out of the room and shifting him to the depot.

Cassie borrowing Pritkin’s powers to suck the energy out of Jo.

Big events and revelations

Pritkin is not shy and neither is Cassie. I thought we would get some pussy-footing about their relationship, but we DID NOT. Pritkin came on strong and Cassie reciprocated. I wish I had a chance to read Siren’s Song first. They had some time to let the tension build and I *do* love a slow burn… torture me, baby!

Ancient Horrors! Children of Tiamat/Tethys! Pritkin is 1/16th divine! Kind of a watered-down Ancient Horror, if you will. Minus the tentacles.

Lover’s Knot

Fucking Jonathan

Invasion of Faerie needs to happen ASAP

Jo is more dangerous as a ghost because ghosts can absorb infinite power. (Can we turn Billy Joe into a super soldier???)

MIRCEA THE BOLD!

Cassie agreed to go find Elena because she’s afraid that Mircea will do it himself. And she doesn’t want to kill him.

Fred is a spy working for MARLOWE! And I guess his master power is camouflaging his aura.

Rico is from Napoli (this explains a lot, because I was confused when he said putanas instead of putane. Dialect!)

NEW PYTHIAN SPELLS: Shards and Chimera!

Young Agnes is a real bitch.  

The pros

I said this in a separate post, but I’ll say it here too. Cassie and Pritkin are back together and their relationship is so healthy and mutually supportive that it makes my heart ache. This is real #relationshipgoals. They are confidants and protectors and cheerleaders for each other. They don’t keep secrets or manipulate or gaslight. We need more of this sci-fi/fantasy and romance. There are too many dark, brooding male love interests who are borderline abusive. (Ahem, Mircea.)

MORE LGBT REPRESENTATION! 

The emergence of Mircea the Bold. I like Mircea as a character, but not as a love interest for Cassie. I’m happy to see him going through this transformation. He’s becoming more open and genuine. He’s not going to win Cassie’s affections, but I do think that he’s going to redeem himself in Dory’s eyes.

GERTIE IS BACK! And *not* as a roadblock. She’s a powerful woman who helps other women, and I am all. about. that. mood.

The cons

 TOO. MUCH. RECAP. Especially recap that broke up highly emotional moments. I don’t care if you are trying to explain things for new readers. Fuck ‘em. Anyone who buys a book, discovers it is part 1000 of an ongoing series, and tries to read it anyways… is a psychopath.

Too many plot-lines

 I miss Rosier.

We all knew that something was up with Fred, but I don’t think that his revelation as a spy got as much weight and screen-time as it deserved.

 I feel like the “wrap-up” with Jonathan felt rushed. He’s supposed to be terrifying but I’m like “meh, whatever, Jonathan, small fry compared to Apollo and Ares.” But I think she’ll get back to it in greater depth in the next book, so I can deal.

Can we PLEASE have some consistency about Agnes’s age? We see her as a teenager in late 19th-century London, for god’s sake. She must have been *at least* 130 years old when she died, and that’s being charitable. Previously, Cassie has said that Agnes was about 80. Lies. 

The questions

1.       My BIGGEST question. Cassie is changing. Not just maturing, but changing on a metaphysical level. The coldness, the hunger… I’m frightened for her. It’s not withdrawal from the Tears of Apollo and it’s not normal exhaustion. I have some theories.  

 Her divine side is becoming stronger and she’s beginning to require life energy in the same way that her human side needs food, water, and sleep. Why is this happening now? Maybe the Tears of Apollo are part of the equation, albeit indirectly. She’s been using more and more Pythian power thanks to the potion, and perhaps that has awakened her divine side more strongly. This is a little worrisome because she may have to feed on a regular basis to stay functional. Can she get all the energy she needs from incubus sex or from the Lover’s Knot? What are the moral considerations here? 

Less likely, but she might really be pregnant. I’m not a huge fan of this idea, but Rosier does mention in Reap the Wind or Ride the Storm that the incubus-child feeds on the life energy of the mother as it grows. That’s why his attempts at procreation failed until he impregnated Morgaine, who was part royal fae and part divine. If this is the case, Cassie might be having life-energy cravings instead of food cravings. Or maybe this is the divine/demon/fey version of morning sickness? Pritkin, please start using birth control.

2. What happened with Pritkin in Siren’s Song? Does Jonas know his true identity now?

3. So who is Pritkin’s divine great-great grandmother? Any speculation?

4. Cassie begins to wonder if any of the gods might be open to diplomacy. This must go somewhere. And it’s true, there are a number of gods in the pantheon who are traditionally friendlier towards humans than others. Athena is the first that comes to mind. There’s also the mythic trope of the Trickster/Fire-Bringer who helps humanity: Prometheus, Anansi, etc.  And there’s Loki, who doesn’t so much love humans as he loves to trouble the other gods.

MVPs

Ok, Cassie is the real MVP, as always. But barring her, I’m awarding this prize to the no-nonsense, sisterly duo of our hearts: Gertie and Hilde. They are officious and annoying, but that’s because they tell you what you don’t want to hear, and they are RIGHT. They are so right.

[shaxori-fiendline-posts]

Blackbox Theater in Gehenna

Ahem.  I haven’t done this in a while so, bear with me.  No, really, Bear, *grabs shirt hem*  I want to wander for a bit.  Take a walk with me down the tangents for a bit.  So, I’ve been working on my book.  My weird way of trying to put myself out there while exercising my mind and imagination again after being stuck in between real life in Malsheem and the inside of my head in Gehenna.  Trying to come up with a way I can dress up real life in order to understand what’s going on in a world where anything can happen.  I’m trying to make heads or tales of the patterns I think I see in the world around me.  Everything starts with a question.  And the question drops like a stone into the Astral Sea, sending out ripples of effect in everything.  But I can’t see all of the angles to understand where each ripple originated by myself.  I try, but when I do I feel like there’s always two sides of my personality warring for control over everything.  So, since you’re not only my singular follower on here besides a bot, you’re also the most science brained individual I know that is still willing to pat me on the head and say, “ok, I’ll suspend my disbelief in anything unexplainable by science and just believe for a little bit.”

So, here’s the question that started this particular tangent.  I’ve been trying to figure out how to use Lilly as an avatar to help me get my thoughts in line.  99.9% of this writing has been me reverse engineering my friends’ personalities into fictional characters that respond as they might have if we were role-playing the characters I created for them.  Jareth is a character, for example, that was once played by my buddy, Jimmy.  His explanation for Old Ones was nearly a direct quote as to how he described it to me when I was trying to get a handle on Lilly’s crazy.  I could have kissed him.  As soon as he explained it, something clicked in my head as I was trying to explain why Lilly is so fucked up.  Well, I thought I could keep that one locked up for a while and try to build up to it more, but I just can’t.  It feels like taking three steps backward in the writing when I do.  But it started raising more questions in my head, and I’ve never been good at juggling.  Questions started dropping out from between my fingers, sending out so many questions, I couldn’t keep up.  It’s gotten to the point as I’m trying to figure out how to tie off loose ends from earlier chapters without cheesing it (because I’ll fucking forget where I buried the leads and get lost in the fucking minefields again) that both Lilly and I are about to say fuck it, I’m going back to working in the toil and we’re going to do everything possible to forget we ever peeked at the last few pages of the book.  We spoiled the ending for ourselves and now we are in a constant state of hurry up and wait.  And we’re tired.  She’s pissed, I’m just defeated.  No, that’s not the right word.  Done.  Yeah.  Thankfully, Lilly is the part of my brain that never stops moving.  She’s constantly wandering down through the halls of the Library, (which looks like an MC Esher nightmare, BTW) pulling down boxes and picking through them to try and find all of the pieces of the puzzle to finally get out of my head.  And you know what happens when I start to hyper-focus of the pieces instead of looking at how they fit together.  Wooo Shiney happens entirely too much.  So, when I say I’m done, it’s not the depression talking, it’s the apathy warring with my reasonability.  When I say I’m done, I’m mean I’m done giving a shit.  I’m done trying to put my life on display in such a way that I can’t tell what tone of voice to read it in.  I can’t figure out who it is that I’m talking to.  I don’t know who is going to read it which is why I pinpointed a person that doesn’t exist in this world. Normally, I would try to motivate myself by saying “maybe.”  But, I’ve always known, just like every kid does, that “maybe” is really “no” in disguise.  Unless you get a solid yes and/or proof of validity, anything else is a “no”.  You get used to hearing all of the variations of “no” to the point where you expect it from everyone and when you do hear “yes” you immediately question the person’s level of trustworthiness.  Are they just fucking with me and, if they are, what are they getting out of it?  “You.  You want to be my friend?  Wait, why?  I’m a horrible individual.  I’m an asshole.  I’m actually proud of the fact that I really could give a shit about the vast majority of the population.  All I care about is me and mine.”  But my problem is I can’t stop adopting strays.  I try to put myself out there to draw in others like me and find the good ones to keep.  That’s why Jareth/Jimmy keeps lecturing me about my accidental families.  And then I look at the nest of weirdos I’ve created and, well, you’re married to one of them, you know what I’m talking about.  Like, I love them all, but they make my brain hurt sometimes.  “Yes, kids, I love you, now go play in the corner, Mommy has a lot of shit do and I’m starting to understand while some species of animals eat their young.”  I’m so thankful nature decided to take my ability to procreate without fertility treatments.  I have enough deviants to keep me amused, I do not need children.  At least with mine, I can hand them a pair of scissors and not have to wor... nevermind, I take that back.  I can feel the bullshit cough from here.  My point is, I’m a tech, I can wrangle the clowns and fix their chainsaws, but I do not have the energy to keep the rest of the circus in order at the same time.  The rest of the show has to fall to someone else.  That’s why I’m using D&D as a set for the stage.  When I try to build the world from scratch on my own, I have to try and make it unique enough to showcase my skills at descriptions, but I get lost in the descriptions and forget that I have to make sure the characters stay on track with the story through their interactions.  Using D&D gives me a static resource set to get a mental image of the world in which Lilly lives.  With the set already built, I can put down the tech belt and go run with the clowns to burn off some excess energy.  But I have to make sure Lilly is rounded out well enough not overwhelm the party.  Unfortunately, since the story is inspired by real life events and thought processes (somewhat, it’s D&D for fuck’s sake) I’ve reached the point where I’m going to have to do META ass shit in order to get past Act One.  After that, in real life, I have to find some source of income that doesn’t involve donating plasma to pay my cell phone.  I want to write.  I want to be creative.  I have a million and one ideas on things I could try, but I also know that I have to get out of Malsheem if I’m ever going to get to the Feywild for real.  And that takes coin because I have yet to figure out portal tech as a practical application.  That’s on the shelf marked “the geometry is wrong” in the “don’t go in there, it’s weird” section of the Library.  I need an adult to go in there.  I just scared myself in two different ways thinking about going in there alone, the first was the atmospheric drop in temperature and the second was the sudden realization that I tend to be smart enough to know better, but too dumb to quit.  I will open some box or book and, yeah.  I’m not allowed in there without supervision.  Ok, that started a ripple of potential hypnotherapy sessions.  Provided I could find someone actually capable of hypnotizing me. Anyway.  That’s right, the point.  Lilly is supposed to be my character, my way of telling my story through the filter of fantasy so I can make sense of it all. And I can’t stay stuck at my desk anymore, hoping and praying that’ll I’ll do something right this time.  So, I’m going to make sure she’s at a playable level and do some pick-up games with her when I can get time to myself to be able to play between working at a *shudders* normal job long enough to clean up my credit and get a place of my own somewhere.  Then, I’ll be able to reassess the situation without the continuous irritation of Dopple-Mom interruptions.  If I have to go back to the call-centers, I might be able to power through it like I did before.  I’m just going to have to watch out for the traps I fell into last time. But I’ll have to put the book on hiatus until I’m in a place of my own and can relax when I get off work enough to be able to think freely.  It won’t really gather any readers or foot-traffic on Royal Road while I’m working, but I’m ok with that.  It takes away the pressure of trying to build an audience while the book is still being written.  Granted, that would make it easier to transfer into an actual novel format once it’s completed and have a market waiting for release so I *can* write for a living.  But, hope in one hand and shit in the other, all you get is pink-eye.  I can’t control who sees my stuff.  I can’t control its reception or the opinions thereof that dictate word of mouth marketing.  When your success in a field is dependent on the reviews of your work by the general public, sometimes it’s better to just stop giving a fuck.  I’m not going to try and build an audience ahead of time anymore.  I’m just going to write and release chapters until I have to hit the hiatus button.  If the story dies because I can’t find the time or the motivation to write, it’ll just be added to the failed attempts pile.  Not the first, not the last.  Smart enough to know better, too dumb to quit, remember?  I’ll try again at some other point to write a story worth sharing.  It just won’t be inspired by real life.  Just straight fantasy so I have a place in my head I can visit that’s nice to hang out in for a change.

[oldtumblhurgoyf]

Leviathan

had some stuff conkin around the old noodle lately (read, the past 2+ years) and I’ve never bothered to write any of it cuz it’s all a mess so I’m just gonna kind of stream it below and see if some pieces start to fit better

there’s a woman who is a respectable vintner and rubs shoulders with the upper class and all that. she’s a low aristocrat living in a monarchy and while she’s doing alright for herself, especially compared to the commoners, she dreams of more

like she literally has dreams that are prophetic in nature. she doesn’t know how or why, but she just knows. if she acts on them they can become real. however she is cognizant of the fact that her husband doesn’t appear in any of these dreams and she’s not super sure why

one day the king is coming to visit the area and he’s heard good things about her wines and wants to try them. now she’s had lots of time to prepare for this and is super ready. in fact, she and her husband have planned an elaborate trick to rob the king’s treasury and get away with it

it’s a pretty well known fact that wine snobs would rather drink swill but go along with the popular opinion that it’s incredibly fine wine than buck that opinion to voice distaste and be lampooned as not actually knowing a damned thing about wine. this is more true if everybody knows the price of the bottle.

these two are gonna use that (and this woman’s background in forgery--did I mention she lied and cheated her way up into the aristocracy from peasantry? her husband knows and is pretty cool with it, but they both kept that secret so the two could marry without his family refusing to accept it) anyway these two are gonna use that to produce a very old and highly esteemed and sought after vintage--fake of course. it’s worth a TON and they’re going to offer to let the king buy it from them. there is a fine and old wine in the bottle, and the things so rare, nobody actually knows what the original vintage tastes like, much less after all this time. it’s a perfect crime

of course, something goes wrong. i’m not sure what yet, but they get found out. i’m imagining this elaborate dinner party with the king and his entourage (the whole court isn’t traveling with him, but lots of people are so it’s a hefty crowd) which turns into an impromptu trial when the forgery is somehow found out

now the thing here is, in my mind this is playing out as the two can both deny it and there isn’t hard proof to bring against them (this is a very good forgery, she excels at what she does). maybe in my protagonist’s head she is thinking this and then it comes down to the king’s temperament--does he side with the adviser who insists it’s a fake and punish them, or side with them against his adviser?

but her husband caves under the immense pressure of lying in the face of the king. he wasn’t born into this sort of life style, he just sort of married into it and then the worst he had to do was show his parents the well-forged documents of heredity or whatever proving that his bride-to-be was a distant cousin or some such of some foreign count. he’s never been in this sort of situation and it all just kind of comes up, maybe isn’t even entirely malicious on his part but is the absolute worst thing he could do in this situation

it cuts her so deep, to be betrayed by the man she loves like this. and the sentence for their crime, which in this monarchy is a form of treason, is death. he’s condemned them both... but despite this she can’t stand it and admits before them all her skill at forgery and how it was her idea and her work and here she claims that her husband was unaware of it, that she kept him out of it as well and thus only she should be punished

...except the adviser, who is persnickety and a stickler for details, recalls some small comment or happenstance earlier in the evening which somehow betrays that the husband must have been in on things. he knew and thus despite his wife’s noble attempt at self sacrifice, they must both suffer the punishment

which brings us to this king having a perhaps distorted sense of honor and justice and all that. he reads the husband as a sniveling coward who would sell out his wife to save his own skin (again, maybe that was the case, maybe not) and as such must suffer the fate of a coward (perhaps here the king even confirms that prior to his admission the king felt there was not enough evidence to condemn them and would have simply refused them payment under suspicion). as such it is better the husband be executed rather than “live life as a coward and die a thousand times a day” or some nonsensical line about honor and courage like that. dude’s murdered on the spot, in front of his wife and all. there are fucking cheers because people are like that--they just witnessed god’s divine judgment manifest before their eyes and had no idea dinner would come with such a great show today

he turns to the wife, life destroyed by her husband’s betrayal and subsequent death. she’s numb and traumatized and would welcome the same fate in this moment. the king has other plans. he notes her courage and gumption, if misplaced. he says in a different time, under different circumstances, she could perhaps have made a fine knight or some such, so determined is she and willing to face god and fate unblinking. he sentences her to meet her fate head on, in exile, condemning her to the Tentacles.

that’s part one

now what the fuck are the Tentacles, you ask?

Exogensis by Mac Rebisz

so imagine those things aren’t giant jellyfish but instead giant squid. like, planet-sized squid. the world my story takes place on is one of those squid and the planet is called Leviathan

the head/body of the squid is generally safe and habitable, like just imagine Earth more or less. but those tentacles are a mixed bag of hell. overall they retain atmosphere though it’s thinner and less stable so some areas (and without much rhyme or reason) you can asphyxiate or be exposed unknowingly to dangerous levels of radiation (not that anyone in this setting knows what radiation is and they only barely understand the atmosphere thing--they just know that the Tentacles are hell on Leviathan)

but even more dangerous is the fact that these things are just kind of floating out in space, trailing thousands of miles behind the head/body, and every so often they bang into each other. the appendages themselves can take this kind of beating, but anything on the surface--plants, animals, small towns that have popped up in the last couple of decades to a century since the last tentacle-on-tentacle bashing--is obliterated

life on the Tentacles is harsh and dangerous. for someone who has lived her whole life on Leviathan-proper, exile to the Tentacles is likely a death sentence

so part two picks up here and this is where things get really fuzzy for me. i’m not sure what the trajectory of this story is at this point but big picture here are some things i think i know about the world

Leviathan is one of many planets like this--squid shaped in orbit around a star. but there are no other planets immediately around like it. everything else orbiting this star is a spherical planet. this is because Leviathan is part of an ancient exo-planet colonizing entity. iunno if it’s a “man made” intergalactic space ship of sorts or alien species, but this thing exists to travel the universe, find habitable planets, then jettison a tentacle onto that planet before taking off to a new solar system in search of more planets to cultivate

the tentacle grows on that planet into a new leviathan. which then sets out in search of more hospitable planets to propagate the species

i’m not super sure why or how at the moment, but the surface life of these leviathans--plants, animals, people, all of it--is an intricate and indispensable part of this procreation process. which to me points toward it being an ancient alien seed ship, but i’m more intrigued by the idea of some sort of grand and natural symbiotic relationship where this cosmic entity needs the little bits living impossibly short lives on its surface as much as they need it

my heroine likely finds her way to one of these tentacles as it’s about to shoot off toward a habitable planet. i think she might be an Eve figure? like maybe the people are aware something is about to happen with this tentacle so they are making a mass exodus to save themselves but she’s able to find some sort of deep cave with something akin to stasis capsules and convinces these people they need to hop in ‘em. maybe it’s even just a “hey, we definitely aren’t getting away from this in time, death is certain, so let’s try this and hope against everything we know that a miracle happens”

and of course it does. they wake up to a lush new world. maybe even the Leviathan they came from can still be seen in the distance (though they can tell it’s no longer in orbit, it’s further from the sun and seemingly escaping this solar system--how much time has passed? everyone they may have known, that king that had condemned her and even his entire kingdom, is surely gone). she’s continued to dream in this stasis. she’s here to lead these people and try to better establish a history of where they came from and what these leviathans are, what their Leviathan will seek to do

anyway we get to see her working to establish a new society while also still dealing with the events of her past, which still feel very recent to her. i see the dinner with the king, her exile, and the tentacle jettison all taking place in perhaps two month’s time. then she’s in stasis and wakes up perhaps millions of years later feeling like she just lost her husband two months ago. how do you navigate that intense personal experience with the knowledge of how your actions might effect a global and even intergalactic scale

[eidoleane-g]

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 3... sort of review.

This is sort of my first ever review on anything at all on my tumblr blog, and i just have a lot of feelings to talk about How to Train Your Dragon 3. 

So i watched HTTYD3 and I’ve got say, I had a lot of feelings about this movie. Some parts of the movie were my absolute favorite that i couldn't stop squealing in joy for because it was so amazing and lovely and the whole team made a great job of it. 

Lets talk about what I found not so amazing in the movie. And i have spoilers, so those that haven't watched the movie yet. stop reading this now, because i will need to go into details about it. For warning that I have not read any of the HTTYD book series and I’m not sure if anything i comment here in my dislike might be canon in the series itself. But i’m happy for anyone to point me out on that. 

When i first saw the trailer of HTTYD3, i was so excited. HTTYD2 was one of my absolute favorite animation movie of all time and I still think that they should have won the Oscars for Best Animated Feature and instead of Big Hero 6. It was everything and more than what the first movie gave and the bar that they set was so high in standards. There was romance (my absolute favorite), adventure, death and love lost and found and they paced it all so super well, that i was hoping the same for this. Alas, they didn’t quite reached what they had set out to do. 

First thing that i didn’t really feel real excitement was the introduction to the female night fury. WHAT WAS THAT???? oh my god. I just couldn't believe that the team behind it was like we gonna make a white night fury. WHAT? have they not realized why in doing that would defeat the purpose of naming it a Night Fury???? It is a dragon that preys in the NIGHT!!!!. That’s what makes it deadly and dangerous because no one has ever seen what one had looked like before Toothless. Why in the world would you make one in WHITE!!!!, when they can be so easily killed in the goddamn night. This would probably make more sense about why all the other night furies have gone extinct because all the female have been killed because they kept flying in the night where they are shot very easily because they are so WHITE. and now none of the male night furies can procreate and have babies and that is why they all have gone extinct except for Toothless.  I didn't have a problem with a female night fury, it was fine. But it looked like an sickly albino dragon that it didn't really settle with me and i didn't like her one bit throughout the movie. It would have been incredible if they had made the female night fury the same color as Toothless, but in a lighter shade. that way we still tell apart the female night fury. they could have played around with the features of the female night fury to show how it distinguishes from the male. It was already so obvious in the movie that Toothless has green eyes and the female night Fury has blue eyes. It would have been enough to tell the two apart without completely altering the very essential design of the Night Fury. 

I don't know why but I think that the writers might have made the original concept of the female night fury pink and they probably thought like we couldn't work with that because it’d be too obvious and decided to make it white instead that way the children could still see the female from the male, but not make it too obvious. They do realize that children are not that dumb right. I understand that it is in the premise of an animated film aimed at children, but they cant have thought that children are that dumb that they can’t even tell apart a male and female dragon. More than anything children pick this kind of things up really quickly because they are bright enough to understand. Children can tell them apart from the features alone. Already this is going on too long. Yeah i just didn’t really like the whole white albino night fury thing.

Next was the villain, i don’t know man. The villain just seem like a cardboard cut of like a stereotypical villain. the only reason he wants to kill dragons is because when he killed a Night Fury when he was a kid, everyone in his village sort of worshiped him as a God. Like his motivation to killing dragons are for self-gratifications?  You’ve already established a good, complex, and well-developed villain in the second movie, why the need for the same thing in this one? If you are creating this movie as a sort of finale to the trilogy, they could’ve made it end in similar to how the first movie began. The first movie began with the issues of dragons and it could have ended with the issues concerning dragons again, there was no need for a villain at all in this movie. The first movie was really well developed in the conflict where Hiccup faced it in his father and the viking community. it showed how Hiccup believed in dragons being their equal and he wants to show that to his father who opposes that very union. It felt personal and amazing and made a great story. The second movie had a proper villain where the bad guy wants to eradicate dragons because of a personal history of something happening to him because of the dragons and fueled by the disgrace from the vikings themselves. His anger fueled his goals and we saw where it took him. He was almost a sociopath in that sense and the conflict that ensued between Hiccup and the villain was the climax of the movie and was made incredibly well. Because we understand his motivations and why he is doing the things he is doing, we understand where his coming from.

i just don’t understand the villain in this one. It was like he was just put in there so that they had something to progress the story or one even remotely resembling a plot. the villain’s motivation felt weak at best and i cant even remember what his goddamn name was. That is how much of an impact he made in the movie. It felt like a flimsy attempt at having to recycle the same plot and idea from the second movie except that instead of fighting for their place, this time they run away with the dragons just to keep them safe. the thing was that the story could have progressed even without the villain’s involvement. Honestly i would have enjoyed it far more had there not been a villain in this one but simply an issue that Hiccup faced with the dragon overpopulation at the village. That would have given a great story and made more sense. 

the worst of the whole movie, that made really want to storm out of the cinema, was Toothless romance in this thing. i absolutely hated it. I HATED THIS!!!!!. Oh my god, it was so bad and i don’t know how much more i can emphasize that this was the one thing that completely ruined the whole movie for me. I already hated the whole albino night fur thing and this just made it worse by tenfold. The story about HTTYD has always been about Hiccup and Toothless relationship and how much they have grown to love and form a bond with each other. This movie had barely any sort of hint on that. There was a little bit of it here and there but honestly you don’t see any of it in this movie. Suddenly it had become a romantic comedy, where Toothless the hopeless romantic is trying to get the unattainable female Night Fury with the help Hiccup his ultimate wing-man. I was just speechless, i couldn't even began to understand what was the whole point in giving the dragon of all things a romantic interest. i just hated it straight out. Like completely. The whole middle chunk of the movie was just a blur to me and i just wanted it to end so badly.

And what really made me furious in this whole thing. Like this was the major i wanted to chuck the popcorn on the movie screen kind of furious. Was that in the end, Toothless left Hiccup to go start a goddamn married life with the fucking albino dragon. I was just so mad. it made me so furious. I couldn't even, I would have left the cinema if i had not payed the ticket to watch this nonsense. Are you telling me that Toothless who risked his life again and again to rescue the boy that the he truly loved and considers his best friend to start a new one with that goddamn albino thing. Like WHAT THE HECK???!!!!!. WHO WROTE THIS???!!! WHO LET THEM KEEP THIS STUPID STORY IN THE MOVIE????!!!! WHY WOULD YOU RUIN A PERFECTLY GOOD MOVIE WITH THIS NONSENSE!!!!???? This movie is basically the Cursed Child of the Harry Potter Universe. People would like to forgot that this thing even existed. This movie is the the Cursed Child of How to Train Your Dragon saga. I would be far more happier thinking that this movie doesn’t exist at all. I’m happy to live with the first two movies instead of this rubbish.

I understand that the part of the theme of the movie was that Toothless was the mirror image of Hiccup. That they both grow up to be almost the same, one being a dragon and one being a viking. In the first movie, it was apparent that they were both fighting against their own kind to protect one another. Hiccup with his dad and the vikings, Toothless with the harmful dragons and that giant-ass queen dragon. This was shown again when Toothless lost a leg in the final fight with the queen dragon as how Toothless lost one of his tail glider (at least i think this was what it was) to Hiccup, a viking. It showed them both to be equal which was what the movie was about. In the second movie, it came about Hiccup taking over from his father as chief of the vikings. After the death of his father, Hiccup was suddenly thrown into it and had to step up to being chief. This was later mirrored into the fight between Toothless and the Alpha. Toothless became the Alpha once he defeated the previous one and they both became leaders of their kind. This was also a good parallel. 

But this movie was just fucking nonsense. I already knew this movie was going to be about Astrid and Hiccup talking about marriage or at least a conversation about it, This was fine. It was fine for the last 2 movie and it was fine in this one too. because we have already established this amazing relationship between Astrid and Hiccup. But why the heck would you want to have the same parallel of this thing with Toothless, a dragon? It’s a goddamn dragon, it doesn't need a fucking romance story. this was literally where it went downhill for me. The whole Toothless motivation was just motivated with him wanting to mate with the albino the whole way through. I’m not lying guys this was what took place for a good hour in the movie and i hated it. Completely hated it. There was barely anything of a hint of real emotion or love between Hiccup and Toothless. This movie was basically Hiccup trying to please Toothless by helping his get the female Night Fury because Toothless was throwing a fucking tantrum about it. That literally what it was about. He just gave in and said that it was okay for Toothless to leave him because of the fucking albino. I do not believe that you would make 2 whole movies establishing this great relationship between Hiccup and Toothless just to end up for Toothless getting laid and starting a family and Hiccup just letting that happen and doing the same. I do not believe that. I do not believe that any of this characters would be motivated or would have done the things that they done in this movie at all. This whole movie was just flimsy attempt at a story that was just barely developed. The entire motivation of the main characters and villains just seem flimsy at best or just downright wrong. It’s like a bad rendering of a fan-fiction.

The most ridiculous thing of the whole movie was the Hidden World. We don’t get anything more than a 5-minutes fly over of Hiccup and Astrid there. Like why would they even name the movie after this Hidden World if you are not even going to show us more than 5 minutes of it. What was even the point of having the Hidden World if you are not going to help us understand or even establish what it is about.?  I wanted more, i wanted to learn its origins, what was there, how did it get hidden, how the dragons found the home there everything. I was really disappointed by this.

The whole movie could have gone in a very good direction because there was already a good story in it that no one even seemed to attempt to want to develop it and instead was so focused on this romantic nonsense between the dragons. The vikings and Hiccup were facing a problem of overpopulation of the dragons in their village, This was good. There is an issue. Hiccup could have been like, “ Uh, guys, the dragons are overcrowding our homes we don’t have any place to stay, we need to get a bigger village. This is good, OK we move one. One day, there was an attempted attack on the village, just some random person. There was no need for an established villain at all. Then Hiccup grows concern for the safety of both the dragons and the vikings. Living in this overcrowded place is proving to be impossible and it is creating a bigger target on the dragons. There was only a handful of them to actually protect the village and the dragons at the same time. Hence why they move, they move to find  better home for the dragons and themselves, - the Hidden World - instead of them running away from the villain.

So far good. The one day, when they settle at some place, Hiccup and Toothless comes across another night fury, it didn't even need to be a female, just another night fury and it would have been fine.This would mean  that Toothless wasn't the last of his kind and there is maybe more Night Furies here or maybe a family of them. See how the story could have progressed even without a female Night Fury. There didn't even need to be any fucking romance at all and it would have been a really good story. And we get to see that Toothless and Hiccup going in search for the other Night Fury and they come across a whole nest of them and Toothless is so happy and excited. This is the first time he is seeing another of his kind and there he feels like he finally belongs to a family. But the other Night Furies seeing Hiccup would have attacked him, and Toothless coming to his defense. The other dragons are confused as to why Toothless is protecting this human, when human and dragons are each others natural enemies. So in the end they leave the place, with a heavy heart and Toothless being sad. And Hiccup deciding that it was time that Toothless see the other dragons on his own and gives him the new tail that allows him the freedom to fly on his own without a rider. 

This would have been a far better developed plot for the movie. It would have been the idea of granting Toothless his freedom. This would have tied the theme of the movie so brilliantly, which had always been freedom. Freedom to live, freedom to choose who you love, freedom to be who we are meant to be. And it would have also tied in to mythology of what it means to be a dragon. Dragons are these mighty beasts of the sky and what means more than anything to them is their freedom to be free and fly. Toothless discovering the family would have meant that he was finally granted the freedom to fly on his own. And more than anything he wants to be with his own kind. And here is where we could have shown the parallel image of how it ties back to the both of them again. Toothless wanting to be his own kind but also not wanting to leave Hiccup yet, and Hiccup, even though granting Toothless his freedom is still not ready to let him go yet. This would have been a brilliant way to show conflict and issue between the both and the love they have for each other. And this would have even brought the movie to a full circle to how it began, with vikings and dragons being two different people and the idea of how they were going to be together. This would have made a great emotional impact, the love between Toothless and Hiccup of how Toothless loves Hiccup but he craves to be with the family he just discovered and how Hiccup loves Toothless enough to grant him the freedom to choose where he wanted to be. See how good the movie could have been if they just never had the stupid romance at all. 

This conflict could have been the highlight of the movie and how they were going to overcome these issues. Then also showing that when Toothless finding his family, he also finds the Hidden World, and we finally get to see the whole Hidden World from Toothless’s eyes and we get and understanding of the place. This would have been a brilliant way to give us the view of what the Hidden World was like. Once this is done, and we see Toothless being happy and excited to be with the rest of his kind, we get to the climax of the story. The same person who earlier attacked the village, could have followed Toothless to the Hidden World and have captured the dragons and Toothless tries to rescue them, but he couldn’t, so that he flies back to Hiccup and they together go back to rescue the dragons and they do eventually. The other Night Furies soon sees that Hiccup is not such a bad guys and they stop attacking him and here would be the big finale where they both have to make a decision. The Other Night Furies welcome Toothless to live with them in the Hidden World and to every other dragon from Berk that wants to.  

Toothless and Hiccup have a moment and Hiccup being Hiccup would have granted Toothless the freedom to go and live with his family, knowing that he might not ever see him again. And it breaks Hiccup’s heart to make this choice but he knows that this is the right thing to do. And so Toothless leaves Hiccup to go to the Hidden World with the rest of the Night Furies with the other dragons. Astrid is there to hold Hiccup when they say goodbye to the dragons. Then we get to the wedding scene and Hiccup and Astrid gets married and Hiccup seems to be sorely missing Toothless and they both look over to the horizon and there out of nowhere coming towards them is none other than Toothless. Hiccup doesn't understand why Toothless was back, wasn't he leaving to live with the other dragons, but no some of them do return to the vikings. This would have given me all the feels and it would have been such a perfect way of ending the movie. The idea that Toothless now knows that he is not the last of his kind, and that there is family out there for him and they will always be there for him to welcome him. But to Toothless, family had always been Hiccup and that is why he returned to his true family. 

This could have been such an incredible movie. simple and good and not overly complicated. this would have been the perfect story for all of them. And just it would have been so lovely and bittersweet and just good. But instead what we got was a Cursed Child parody. And i am just really sad about this.

Yeah so basically i hated at least 75% of the movie. 

But there were some things that i really liked. i really loved the concept art of the characters. Those dragon scaled armors were one of my favorite things in the entire movie. The characters looks were amazing. the visual concept and looks were amazing. The whole environment art and concept were great. What i really really loved about this movie was the relationship between Astrid and Hiccup. Their relationship was some of the best romance that had been portrayed in any kind of film that i have seen and really loved. From the 1st movie till the 3rd one, their relationship has been one of the strongest suit in the entire movie. The love that they portray in the film is such a kind love, very subtle but it speaks volume. Also, that they aren’t so completely in love with each other that everything else is blind to them. Instead they are each their own individual and they complement each other instead of being each other's half like it is portrayed in so many romances. They each have so much good personality within them that they don’t drown each other but lift each other up and that’s what makes the both of them such a strong couple. The most pleasure that i had in the entire movie is their wedding. Oh my god, i almost cried and it was amazing and perfect and everything i love and pictured for them. 

i was alright with them having kids and all i wasn't really that excited about it, it would have been great to leave at the wedding itself, but it wasn't really something that needed to be there, but i really didn't think it was much of a complain. The one thing that i really made me sad about the movie was that, i don’t believe that Toothless would have left Hiccup for a goddamn albino dragon, he can do so such much better. but the fact that Hiccup’s children would grow up not knowing Toothless and or any of the great relationship between Hiccup and Toothless was what made me really sad about this whole. Because i truly believed that Toothless would not have behaved as he did in this movie and he would not have left Hiccup and Hiccup would not have just given in to Toothless’s tantrums as he did in this movie. It was really sad and disappointing.  

But yeah, so that was my review on the movie and mostly me ranting about my feelings for this movie. I’m also assuming that someone might have reached all the way down here and have had a good read. to which i am entirely grateful to.

So cheers.

[autumnpawtribe]

Complications Part 7

((TW: Abuse etc)) Vol finally got Tarja to calm down and sleep, many lullabies and a bottle later.  He had a harder time getting the one he called his Flower and his young sister to be responsive.  No smoking around Tarja, so he was digging in his pack looking for any remnants of his chocolate.  He found a small peice, wrapped in foil and unfortunately, Kit'raka's recipe.

"Better than nothing...". He snapped the piece in half, putting one part under Janaret's tonuge.  "When I get you back to calm, sweetheart, well figure out if your sister can tolerate this shit.". He put Aret's head on his shoulder, waiting for the candy to melt, peering through Xiao's eyes.  "Xiao.  Tonight we both serve Bwonsamdi."

Xiao sent back through the link. "I am more open to that than I expected. You said you wanted to watch... will the connection suffice or should I wait for you? His attention, however, remained on Pahre now. He barely understood her, his face scrunching up as he tried to scrounge words together. "Janaret... my Lok'dim... Bal'a... Wassa'dim." It seemed Xiao had been listening, using all of those terms before smiling gently at her. "I bring safe for you, I am safe." He extended his hand down to her, hoping to help her up. "Behind..." He pointed over at the two paralyzed Trolls, hoping she didn't panic. "P-... ah..." He grumbled, muttering 'Paralyzed' in Orcish a few times as he tried to think of how to translate. "Body... like stone, from... small sharp." He then reached over for the pouch to pull out a dart and the hollow tube, showing her the tool in hopes of her understanding what he meant.

Pahre stared at him almost blind and blank.  She was as if waking up from a deep sleep, staring up at her home, mouth agape.

"Talking to her is gonna be useless.  Do what you will.  If you can get the hearts...  I’ll give mouth presents?" He needed to cut the seriousness of the whole thing.  Aret was snoring on his shoulder and Nielka was asleep in the corner.  "I'll watch, you'll have to bring her here...  Somehow.  This is a loa damn mess."

Xiao just sighed and nodded at Vol's words. "You wanted... tusks too?" He asked a tad nervously, his edge fading a bit after healing Pahre. He needed more energy, pulling a small vial from his pouch and drinking it to make himself less exhausted. It wasn't a super potion like the other, this one just rejuvenating the Chi he already had rather than overpowering him with it. He knelt down in front of Jansevet first, carefully but forcefully jamming a finger DEEP into the side of the man's neck, almost near the back. It would hurt a fair bit, but not as much as the next. He went behind him and lined up his fingers, placing a sharp jab backed by a burst of Chi that would render Jansevet a quadriplegic. This wasn't a temporary nerve block through pressure points, he severed the spinal cord permanently. He reached for a small vial of herbs and shoved the man's immobile mouth. After a moment, he'd find he could move again, at least from the neck up. His other limbs loosened, no longer like stone, but instead he now just laid on the floor, limp and unable to feel or move a muscle. That was one plus, he couldn't feel anything below the neck anymore. "Vol I want you to translate for me. I am going to tell you what I want to say, you are going to repeat it back in Zandali. When he speaks, you repeat back to me what he says, no matter how cruel or vile. Now..." He paused, giving Vol his first line. "What do you have to say for yourself, Jansevet. You are a father, a husband, and a grandfather. You bring shame upon all three titles. You are not worthy of the ground you lay on. What do you have to say for the atrocities you have committed?"

"Yes, tusks and heart"

Vol watched and listened, translating slowly so that the words would work correctly, making the syllables flow as they should to be understood.

"I have no grandchildren, filthy Pandaren.  My son is a worthless cunt and those three bitches are useless.  That old bitch is dead, so who cares.  I have done nothing wrong save let them all live.". Xiao would feel Vol'raka cringe before he spoke again.  " Especially since that useless fuck is screwing a Darkspear man.  He can rot with Rastakhan."

Xiao actually chuckled a little, moving to repeat the process of crippling Aket now and force feeding him the herbs to reverse the toxin so he could speak while being numb and permanently paralyzed from the neck down. "You are a fool... you are  a grandfather twice over. Naddja did not crush her daughter's head with a rock. Those ashes were as false as the supremacy you think you hold. Her daughter is living with her real father... all three of them." He grinned now. "Also, your son is not screwing a Darkspear." He crouched, grinning down at Jansevet. "He is being screwed by a Darkspear..." He then reached to pull his mask off to reveal his face and thus his furry self and his race being made apparent. "AND and a Pandaren... and that is OUR daughter. Naddja, our daughter, and even her first born... the Frost Troll you despised so much... all of them are safe in our home, protected and far beyond your reach." He leaned down close, almost face to face with Jansevet as he spoke in a low and nearly dominant whisper. "Your grandchildren will grow up in a world where they not only do not know you exist... but in a world where you CEASE to exist... and they will be all the better for it." He stood up and looked over at Aket now. "You are just as pathetic. It is only fitting that nature deemed you too little of a man to be able to procreate. Ironic, is it not? How it was your infertility that lead to Naddja finding my Lok'dim... which lead to this very moment. Life can be funny that way sometimes. I suppose it has to make up somehow for putting monsters like you into existence. You are not a man for hitting your lover, your wife, your son, your daughter... you are not strong, big, important... it makes you WEAK." He then grinned, letting his tail flick almost tauntingly from side to side. "Otherwise how would a Pandaren not even five and a half feet tall manage to do away with both of you without even breaking a sweat."

Of course Vol had to translate all of this, but Xiao repeated it back as he said it, enunciating and putting emphasis where he needed. These men would know their place in this world before they left it, that much he would ensure.

"you know...  That was oddly sexy.".

There was a smile on his face and in his voice as he added to it.  "Tell them... " He gave the words, a hint of evil in his voice as he said it in Zandali.  "Darkspear never die, and the Pandaren drove you back.  The greatest among you shares our bed and will forever shown love, something you will never truly experience."

Xiao grinned at Vol's addition, eagerly mirroring it word for word with just as much edge to it. This was going to be delicious to watch unfold.

Jansevet tried to roar in anger and move desperately.  Aket looked absolutely shamed, the attack on his very manhood and his secret being out to the world.  Not even Jansevet knew of his inability to father children.  The Old mon growled at the younger troll, spitting his words.  "You buffoon, you told me your wife, that i had exiled for you, could not bear for you,  It was YOU who could not get it up.  I could have sent her to a better family, with more power than a mere priest!"  His words were narcissistic in their tone and accusation.  "You are just as much of a waste!  As for your fucking children, I don't care if those half-breeds rot in hell!  If I could I would kill them myself!"

Xiao seemed entirely unphased by the yelling, smiling down at him almost smugly. He crouched down, just inches out of his reach since all he could do was thrash his head around, Xiao making sure to stay out of tusk-reach too. "If you could? Hm, that is a shame... since it seems you are just as limp and useless as your son in law's manhood." He grinned widely now, looking over at Aket. "That is even funnier, hm? You cannot bear children, but the one you two deem to be worthless, under you because of who he loves... the one who loves other men, is going to be a father when you never can." He then looked down at Jansevet again, eyes narrowing. "Guess who is going to have his baby?" Oh man, Xiao was really letting them have it and Celestials he was enjoying it.

"I do not care if he does or not!  Should castrate the lot of you, then feed you to the spiders!  Quashi Nejho!"  He devolved into a slew of Zandalari words, Vol having a hard time translating fast enough.

"Yeah.. short version. on that one... You are Dirty gutter whore, I am a dickless wonder and Aret is a cum guzzling slut who should have a spear shoved up his ass..."

"There is no way for you to give him a child, you piece of Jani shit!  I wouldn't want my blood marred by animals as it is  I disown that rotten meat that used to be my son!"  The prelate was hissing and spitting his hatred.

Xiao just laughed now, shaking his head. "You cannot castrate anyone, you cannot even touch your own anymore." He then swayed his tail as he swayed his hips, the gesture almost playful, remaining entire indifferent to the words of hatred, knowing it'd piss him off even more. "There is this wonderful thing called magic. Your son? He is going to become an 'animal' for nine months, I am going to become a woman for the same... and he is going to have a child with me along with our other mate, the 'lesser' Darkspear who will also be an 'animal'. Your mighty Zandalari son has opted to forgo his own blood to have fuzzy little love children with the men he is happy with. How is that racial superiority treating you now, hm? The 'animal' has made you nothing more than a spitting writhing head who cannot even hold his own stool or urine." He then sniffed. "Come to think of it, I think you voided your bowels when I severed your spine. As you spew shit, you are literally stewing in your own. How incredibly fitting." He had such venom in that last sentence, his dominant aura really coming out now.

That head spit in Xiao's face before cursing at him again.  Spiders began coming from the woodwork, but strangely ignoring the pandaren.  All were tiny, smaller than Tarja's thumb, covering the prelate of Spiders.  They began biting him, the old male unable to feel any of them until they began radiating to his face.

Aket began screaming, seeing what Jansevet could not feel.  He was unable to move as the same began happening to him.  Pahre, slowly coming back to herself, backed up into a corner, crying.  Vol watched between the two through Xiao's eyes, sighing.  He pet his mate as he was passed out in his lap, letting Xiao get a glimpse of him with a sleeping Nielka, Tarja, and Jararet.  "I think I'm the animal in this family..."

Xiao merely wiped the spit off, though his attention was pulled away when the spiders came. "Uh oh, Vol I think I may have-... wait..." He trailed off when he saw what they were doing, brows furrowed now. "... What are they doing? Is he... killing himself and his son in law so I do not get to? I am confused..." He simply watched, letting them writhe and scream, unsure how to move forward.

"I dont speak spider...  I serve the Loa of Graves.."

It was Pahre who spoke up, a bare whisper.  "His Loa is displeased.  He shows weakness.  She does not like weakness."  Vol translated for him, scowling.  The woman kept going, hiding her face.  "Torcali forgive me.  I have failed."

"I gotta get Aret awake and come get her before you slice them up, Xiao love."

Xiao ignored the two men now, turning to Pahre. "You have not failed, Pahre..." He shook his head. "You are safe now. I am Janaret's Lok'dim, or... I will be eventually. He is my Ba'la, my Wassa'dim. He makes me happy and we make him happy. We know...we know what these two have been doing to you, your daughters... you do not deserve it and you cannot fail because of the actions of others. Your son is on his way, he has your other daughter with him at his old apartment. Nielka is safe, Naddja is safe at our home in Pandaria... your grand children, Pahre... they are safe. You will be too, I promise. I was not going to let you meet Bwonsamdi, not tonight. It is not your time." He spoke through the link now. "Vol, get him up and get him here fast, she needs to be with her family."

Xiao would only hear Vol trying to wake Aret up, it taking a bit more work than it should have with Kit's chocolate in his system.  Once he got the younger prelate to his feet and mostly awake, he bundled up Tarja in her sling and wandered out with them both.  the girl was asleep in a corner, locked safely in the apartment.  "Give us some time.  I don't want them seeing Tarja...  Understand?"

Aket was screaming louder as tiny spiders moved into the orifices of his face and no matter how much he shook his head, he could not rid himself of them.  Jansevet was shaking in anger, his body unmoving, but his tucks scratching on the floor and teeth chattering.  "Shut up you cunt!  Torcali will not help you!  No one can help you!  Mother of sluts!"

Pahre turned to look at the pandaren, sniffing him.  "You know my son..."   Her brain was starting to figure it out.

Xiao ignored the two men, smiling and nodding. "I more than know your son, Pahre. He is my love. I know your poor excuse for a husband knows your son is laying with a Darkspear... well he is also laying with a Pandaren. All three of us are a family. I know it is not traditional, but we love him and he loves us. We keep him safe and happy. The man Naddja was pregnant with... it was not Aket, it was my mate, the Darkspear. I will not go into the details how it happened, but that child is not dead. Those ashes were not hears. Your grandchild is alive... and she is our daughter. Naddja's first child lives as well. Your entire family is safe, Pahre. You are, too. Your son is on his way now, we will take you to safety. You do not need to see what happens next, what these two deserve." He said with a look back toward the two writhing men, letting the spiders do his work for him.

"Naddja's baby?"  That woke her up, letting the blue eyes that her children had inherited look up into the emerald ones of her son's lover.  She became distracted as her son came in, accompanied by his taller mate and a little baby who was making happy little noises and wiggling.  It was a stark difference between an infant's giggles and the priest's screams.

"Muuka..."  Aret moved to sit next to his mother as she cried, holding her and tending to the hysterical woman.  Vol stood above the pandaren, squatting down to kiss him on the nose, just to see the look of disgust on the old man's face, then the rage as he figured out that there was a child in the Darkspear's arms.

"Tarja, dis be ja Chaadoi, Grandfathah.  He gonna not exist in about.. fifteen minutes ef Ba an Papa got anytin ta say bout et."

Xiao smiled up at Vol as he came in, leaning in to kiss him gently. "I thought we did not want them seeing her?" He asked in Orcish now, knowing they couldn't speak it. He looked to Aret and moved beside him, nuzzling the man gently on the cheek and murmuring in Pandaren. "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help? I tried telling your mother she would be safe, be with her family, her grandchildren, but it seems to be too much for her to process all at once..."

"No choice"  the words were in broken pandaren before he stuck to the link.  *"Let them see a tiny beautiful girl before they die.  Let them suffer, one from never knowing his grandchildren, the other the child he wanted to torture to death."

Aret turned tired and crying eyes to Xiao and Vol, whining, but not freaking out.  "We can't leave them here...  I can't leave them alone."

"Ok with a few more in the house until that guest house is built, Xiao Chun?"