#so if any responses i give contradict...oops?

[rotten-vivs]

Go Grian

character ship tierlist game

they would what?..

[emanation-aura]

Nahida and Wanderer, 24?

24. "Unless you ask me not to in the next five seconds, I'm going to hug you."

They're out just... people-gazing today, she supposes, if there were to be a word for the strange, indifferent curiosity Wanderer flings at people. They take a spot at the top of the tree trunk of Port Ormos and allow themselves the leisure of not doing anything important for the day.

"A lot of new travelers today," Nahida comments idly. "I wonder if they're tourists or merchants?"

"Tourists," Wanderer mutters under his breath, as if he wants to speculate but doesn't want to let his god 'win' in drawing him into conversation. "Ormos is full of Inazumans, Probably came from Watatsumi."

"Of course! The Sakoku Decree is gone, and Inazuma has had ample time to recover from its isolation. It makes sense that its citizens would choose this time to be adventurous."

Wanderer's eye twitches, and she doesn't need to be the God of Wisdom to know that he's giving her a once-over.

Ample time to recover from its isolation... oops, that could have applied to her, she supposes. Ah, well. Five hundred years of imprisonment felt like a long time, but that's because it was the first five hundred years of her life she could remember— like human children who view childhood as the longest stage of their lives, locked in by social rules they are yet to understand and changing in so many immutable ways. But when they reach adulthood and step into the wider world, that childhood feels like a distant dream, something short and not worth noting.

Right. They're here to destress, not restress themselves about thinking about all the philosophical tangents about life and growth. Nahida returns her focus to Wanderer, except—

"Who the hell is that?" Wanderer growls. His outstretched finger points to a boat that has just docked at the outskirts of the port, from which two people emerge: a bold-looking woman with brown hair and an eyepatch, and a small boy wearing a maple haori, pale hair uniquely streaked with a single strand of red.

Oh. Nahida curls her hands to scan: Kaedehara Kazuha of Inazuma, currently with the Alcor (which she assumes is a ship and its crew). Irminsul scanning... logging information... ah.

Kaedehara Kazuha, father Kageharu, grandfather Hisamichi, great-grandfather... Kaedehara Yoshinori, formerly Niwa Yoshinori.

"Kaedehara Kazuha, from the as-of-now disbanded Kaedehara Clan," she replies, knowing that he does not appreciate the truth being hidden from him. "Descended from Niwa Yoshinori, who was adopted into the Kaedehara Clan 100 years ago."

A sharp intake of breath. Nahida hears rather than sees his fists clench, the creaking of wood in stiff ball-joints. She doesn't have to cheat by using Irminsul to hear his thoughts: all the betrayal and complicated tang of bittersweet feelings about Niwa, written cleanly in the grimace lines on his face, in the twist of his lips.

(Lesser Lord Kusanali does not remember this, but back in a time when 'Lesser Lord' existed to contrast 'Greater Lord', this, too, could be an open script written across her face.)

She can't help the words that fall out of her mouth next: natural, the same way trees reach for the skies, or a dancer whose routine resides in muscle memory. "Wanderer. Unless you ask me not to in the next five seconds, I'm going to hug you."

Wanderer... freezes, likely not having heard that sentence in several hundred years. Nahida waits, ascertains his lack of response as an indicator that he won't obliterate her for touching him, and then pounces.

She's too small to give Wanderer a full, human-sized hug. But that's ok, because she's big enough to jump up and wrap her arms around his shoulders, covering the most important part of any hug: the heart.

(The chamber inside of the hollow puppet goes thump, thump, thump. And the heart of a god who traded away her Heart of God goes, I hear you.)

After seventeen-and-a-half beats, Wanderer turns his head and murmurs, "get off me." Contradicting his statement, his arms come up to wrap around her, too. Logical conclusion: he wants to hug her. Ditto, mission accomplished.

"Niwa lives on," she says, slowly, carefully. "His actions still led to this future, even if no one remembers what his sacrifice was really for."

(Why does this sound so familiar? Nahida tugs on the unease in her mind, but it does not go away, like a particularly stubborn patch of grease.)

Wanderer is quiet, for a second, before he looks away, at the same time bringing a hand up to twirl Nahida's strand of hair through his hands.

He says: "it doesn't matter either way. I remember him, so he'll live forever."

~~

I welcome anyone to send me more of these, my entire fic genre is hurt/comfort. I hope you enjoy!

[violant-apologia]

exceptional short story & hastily scrawled warning note for the ask game?? >:3

hastily scrawled warning note – if you could go back and change one decision you made in the game, what would it be? (2!!!) i already answered this here, but a second, minor thing is:

I would ever have named any companions ever. 'Cause you can never undo it! Like yeah, you can name them something else, but once they've been nicknamed they can never go back to an un-nicknamed state – the best you can get is Wretched Mog (Wretched Mog) which kinda sucks.

exceptional short story – what exceptional stories, if any, would you consider canon for your oc(s)? I'm going to do this for the Apologist, given that I haven't done any with Avery (yet?). And there are quite are lot which are "canon" in that they don't contradict any Apologist lore, but they're also not important to his character/story at all – so I won't include those. So, in chronological order:

A Columbidaean Commotion, in which a young Apologist (the Inquisitive Vandal, at the time) manages to help secure the pigeons' place in the Neath just as he's securing his own. (and he picks up a pet!)

The Shallows, in which the Apologist makes some Mistakes and leans a little further into Steadfast in response.

A Devil's Due takes place when the Apologist is very much under the wing of devils, and begins to seed the idea that they may not actually like him back. (might replay this actually...)

For All the Saints Who From Their Labours Rest/The Brass Grail both take place at similar times, with the Apologist gaining somewhat of an affinity for Grand Devils (which never really fades).

Flint happens pretty directly after the Apologist's year of Seeking and contextualises his ending as a triumph over the obsession rather than a failure to follow through.

Caveat Emptor is when he's becoming a Correspondent in earnest, and the existence of the Vicomte further inspires his study.

Cricket, Anyone? gives him the idea of nontraditional forms of the Correspondence which later becomes integral to his style.

The Path of Blood and Smoke is another journey which threatens to influence the Apologist towards cruelty, which he this time manages to overcome.

Shades of Yesterday gets him a neat pen.

The Bloody Wallpaper establishes a deep-seated hatred of the Manager

The Sinking Synod establishes him as an official bishop, which he later uses when establishing the church at Burrow.

Homecoming is another Spices scheme foiled, cementing their (friendly?) rivalry.

The Icarian Cup – Oops! Dawnburnt!

Adornment is the beginning of a relationship(?) which defines the Apologist going forwards.

ask game here!

[stylesthebrave]

4 & 46? :)

Omg hi!!! I haven’t talked to you in forever!! How are you??? Thank you for sending <3

4 - name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

Hmm. Does this mean published authors orrr other fandom writers? I’ll give some of both. 

I think one of the defining factors of my writing is that I use long sentences (though I try to balance them out... sometimes unsuccessfully), and I get that from reading classic literature. People like Oscar Wilde and Jane Austen. And also some more modern authors like Donna Tartt. All of those writing styles I adore.

As for fandom writers... there are a ton of people who are influential to me just by writing, but I’m a pretty secluded writer until the later drafts and stages, so there aren’t many people who directly influence my writing in that regard. but I’ll give you one— @larrydoinglaundry my beloved. She’s pretty much the only person who gets to directly influence my work when it’s in the early stages... even though I always have to remind her she’s allowed to give me criticism. 💍

... I don’t think that answered the question at all oops

46 - share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet

Oh this is interesting. How about this… I’ll give you half of a scene from my fic inspired by cinema. Here’s their first meeting, under the cut so I don’t flood your dash haha. 

Harry is tall, legs long that are almost disproportionate to the rest of his body, but somehow he doesn’t look as lanky as he probably should. He’s well-built, like the type of person who has those disgusting green smoothies for breakfast and salads for lunch, muscles accentuating the shape of his tattooed arms, but they’re pretty, just like the features on his face: brown curls and green eyes and a sharp jaw and nose.

It shouldn’t make Louis freeze and forget what he came outside for, but it does.

Louis isn’t sure if it’s a relief when Harry speaks first, because it excuses him from having to be the one to do so, or if it makes matters even worse, because Harry’s voice catches him so off guard.

“Hi,” comes the simple greeting, the cheerfulness a stark contrast to the deep rumble of Harry’s voice. This man is a walking contradiction already—Louis can see why he’s so versatile in his work.

Or so he’s heard, at least.

Louis feels a little guilty for admitting that he hasn’t seen much of H’s work. If this were a typical first meeting, he’d have already searched his name on their company’s website, the research of his field, to see what kind of things Harry has filmed and what he hasn’t. That usually gives Louis at least a shallow idea of what his partner likes and dislikes, helps him shape a conversation about how this shoot will be different and similar. Not that any of them have anything to be ashamed of, but over the years, Louis has noticed how much more comfortable his partners seem after he’s acknowledged their previous work.

Only now, all of that has been thrown out the window, and he’s standing here in front of Harry, with only the sliver of information Anthony had given him five minutes ago.

Louis only realizes that he hasn’t said anything in response to Harry’s greeting when he speaks again, suddenly standing right in front of Louis instead of next to his car. “My name’s Harry. Uhm, H… is my screen name. And I’m assuming you’re… Louis?”

Louis forces himself to snap out of whatever trance he’s in and actually respond to Harry before his silence comes off the wrong way.

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis finds himself saying, because it’s the first thing that came out when he opened his mouth, “I… figured.” He shakes his head, cursing himself for not being able to come up with anything more profound to say. “I’m Louis, yeah. Or, I guess Felix. My screen name.”

When he’s done speaking, he cringes at his own words.

Louis isn’t quite sure what’s wrong with him. It’s not like he’s never encountered someone this attractive under these circumstances—after all, that’s kind of his whole job—but he’s almost never this awkward about it. He’s usually the one who’s able to steer the conversation in the right direction, the one that’s casual and confident about his job. He never feels this uneasy.

But now that everything has been thrown at him last minute, it’s an entirely different experience. It’s an odd feeling for Louis.

Harry smiles loudly at him, running a casual hand through his hair. There’s the smallest moment of silence where neither of them quite know what to say. Harry suddenly finds interest in scuffing the bottom of his shoe against the concrete below, the first even slightly nervous action Louis has noticed since Harry’s been here. Somehow, that’s what gets Louis speaking in coherent sentences.

“You should probably let Anthony know you’re here before he starts stressing more than he already is,” he says simply, and Harry’s relief shows in the eye contact he offers in return.

“I should,” he says, the hint of a smile in his voice. “Wouldn’t want to cause him a heart attack. He sounded halfway there when I called after Trey canceled on me.”

Louis snorts. “You’re telling me. I thought he was gonna chop my head off earlier, the way he came bursting through the door. Honest to god, I thought he was about to fire me.”

The anecdote makes Harry chuckle, cute and higher pitched than Louis had been expecting. His cheeks form craters of a pair of dimples, revealing his teeth, the front two larger than the others, when his lips part. Louis captures a mental picture, just on the off chance that this is will be their only meeting.

Harry’s mouth opens for a fraction of a second, then closes just as fast. He laughs lightly one last time, then says, “Guess I should, then.”

No sooner than Harry takes a step toward the door, Louis is lurching for it, pulling it open and gesturing for Harry to enter. Harry ducks his head shyly and takes the offer, Louis following just behind.

It isn’t until Louis is sitting at a table with Anthony, Jack, and Harry that he realizes he never got his water bottle from his car.

[zalrb]

Like you, and as you advise, I try not to give much thought to DEr takes or figure out the why/how of their thinking. Because, to me, it basically usually comes down to them NOT critically watching the show. It’s not that they have opinions to disagree with, it’s that their points contradict canon context. It’s the epitome of something initiumseries wrote in a post that’s stood out to me: “Most people consume media passively and project what they want/like onto what they're viewing, rather than being critical of what they're watching and taking it at face value”

So, I love reading new posts and any from your master lists because the way you breakdown and respond to anti-asks is amazing and hilarious… but sometimes it’s just exhausting and pointless to even acknowledge their points because they’re never anything new and sometimes I’m impressed that you’re able to decipher their asks well enough to even write a response LOL.

Anyways… oops sorry, this was going to be a short “lol ders” inspired by the ask mentioning a twitter DEr lol, but it turned into a dumb little rant and appreciation applause for you ha.

Oh yeah, I definitely don't answer all of them because it can be fatiguing, it generally depends on my mood and whether or not I find it amusing at the time or just annoying, but another thing about me answering anti asks is I don't do it to convince them or do it because I think they'll realize what they're doing, I do it a) for my amusement b) for SErs to get a kick out of something, it kind of has nothing to do with DErs at all hahaha, it's really for us to have a conversation.

[kanene-yaaay]

Sentence Starter - Part 2

I decided to gather all my Sentence Starters in a post. This is the second round!

I know I already said thankys before but, really, thank you so much for your support, it means the world for me. <3

[~.~]

[Gee these covers are lumpy, better fix the covers up!]

"Gee, these covers are lumpy, better fix the covers up!" Mina wormed her hands under the giggly boy, fishing a loud shriek as she vibrated her thumb between his shoulder blades and her other hand squeezed his sides, resulting in a more desperate wiggling from her victim. "Squish, squish, squish the squirmy Ojiro to fix all the lumps!"

"I AHAHAM NOT A COHOHOVER!"

"Hmmm, I don't know if I am convinced," her eyes glinted when the blond arched his back and her hands immediately dashed to scratch his incredibly, horribly ticklish lower back. "I mean, why else would I find such a cute squeaky toy, oops, I mean, cover in my bed?" Bubbly squeals painted Ojiro's laughter almost as strong as the red that painted his cheeks as he shook his head, protesting.

"I ahaham not s-squeheheaky!" Mina's nails scribbled and grazed on his ribs, the quick, high pitched sounds that flied from his lips contradicting his own words. "That doesn't prove anything!" The tailed teenager managed to breath out before descending in belly laughter again.

His pink friend matched his laughter in response, slowing her silly tickly attack as tears began to form on the other's eyes, pinching and poking his tummy in order to keep the adorable giggles filling the air. The cute wiggles from him and his tail were a bonus, as well.

"Hard day?"

Ojiro nodded, a smile still plastered on his face.

"It was. Your behed is fluffyhihihi. Sorry fohohor intrudihihing."

She waved his worries off, "it's no problem! Just give me a warn next time so I won't lay on you again, okay?"

Ojiro snickered, remembering the scared screams from they both when a few minutes ago Mina decided to jump on her bed and didn't even realize the strange lump that was Ojiro sleeping under all the comforters and plushies.

"I will."

"Good." The pink haired girl then cracked her fingers, a dangerous smirk spreading on her face, probably an effect of being Bakugou's friend, and making goosebumps ran freely on Ojiro's spine.

"No no nohoho!" He shot his hands up in an a placating gesture, excited giggles already falling from his mouth. "I already agreed with you! Please!"

Mina pouted in faux empathy. "Sorry, friendo, but your squeaky squeaks and wiggly wiggley wiggles are just too much cute for me to not tickle you again!"

"Ihihi don't," a snort cut his sentence, "I don't dohoho any of that!" He says, in between his wiggles and squeaks.

"Well," She attacked his armpits, a blinding smile taking over her features as the other began to giggle and snicker non stop. "I am sure we can compromise, eventually."

[~.~]

[I wouldn’t say that with the position you’re in, star student]

"I wouldn't say that with the position you're in, star student." Sero grinned, the non said threat falling heavily between them.

Todoroki blinked, stopping his struggles to lay limply on the floor, still staring the black haired friend on top of him, the fake dagger pressed on his neck.

"It doesn't make sense." Sero threw his hands up, exasperated. Shoto turned to look at Momo, who signalized at Jirou to stop the filmation. "If he's just got into my house in the middle of the night to kill me how does he know about my grades?"

"Well, maybe you just look like a super genius or something!" The other actor retorted, shoving his face on his hands and then on the floor as Todoroki stared at him with an unconvinced expression.

"Or," Kaminari jumped in, ignoring his friends dramatics "he can be his archenemy, building his hate and revenge plan since Todoroki did.... Something bad at him in the school."

Todoroki piked up at the opportunity to put another conspiracy in the movies' plot. "That could make sense."

"Don't encourage him." Jirou smirked at the protesting 'hey!' shouted by the other, preparing another snarky remark before being cut by Momo's voice.

"We're not making any more changes on the plot. We will just remake this scene and then everyone can go home, okay?"

"I think Izuku would lose it if we asked for him to rewrite another part." Nods and mumbles of agreement to Sero's words filled the room as all the occupants remembered the boy's determined rant of why the dagger's blade shouldn't be completely straight nor silver. "Anyway, I still need to buy that new Fatgum's game that came out. Let's move on."

"I can't," the dual haired actor claimed, a blank face "you're sitting on top of me."

And, for a moment, as the pun sank on his friends' brain, only silence met him.

Then Jirou and Kaminari immediately broke in loud laughter, Momo hiding her own chuckles behind her hand.

"Oh my god," Sero bit his own laughter in order to try to look at least a bit serious as he attempted to glare at Shoto. "You think you are so funny, don't you?"

Smugly, Todoroki let the corner of his lips twitch.

"Let me help you to show what is funny, then!"

"Wait-" but he was too late, before the words even came out from his mouth Sero was already dancing his fingers on his sides, switching between squeezing them quickly to scribbling and prodding at his ribs, yelps and guffaws already spinning in the air. "Dohohon't! Wait, wahahahait!!"

The black haired friend laughed with him, his blinding smile and uncontrollable giggles being too much adorable to resist. "I think you actually meant 'I am very sorry for ever complaining about your great performance, my amazing friend Sero.', right?"

Todoroki shook his head, gasping and squirming harder when Sero experimented clawed at his stomach, a series of quiet nononono's and pleaseplease's spilling freely from his lips.

"Tsk. Not even close, man. But don't worry, we have aaaaall the afternoon." A snort escaped from Todoroki and he hid his face on his hands, making Jirou 'aww' and Kaminari shout a 'wait wait make he do it again!' "So take your time, OK?" And then, in a quieter voice "If I go too much far just hold my wrists and I will stop."

A barely there nod showed that the other had heard him, however, as his hands continued to hid his face, bright laughter and shy giggles still filled the studio for much more time.

[~.~]

[Oh yeah! I told you’d they’d win! Ha! Pay up, Midoriya!]

"Oh yeah! I told you they'd win! Ha! Pay up, Midoriya!"

"B-but this is not fair! Tokoyami bought the victory by offering to do Shoji's dishes! That is not a-!

"There is nothing against this in the rules." Tokoyami shrugged, still panting from the sparring. "And I just remembered there is Midnight-sensei's paper for tomorrow that I didn't even start."

"Sorry, Midoriya. But we will have much more training in the future, still, and your analysis really helped me! You're right, maybe starting to use some weapon, since a hand to hand combat can give my quirk some damage, will be a good advantage." The taller teenager waved at them, Dark Shadow mirroring him enthusiastically as they followed Tokoyami back at the dorms. "I should search for options before choosing. Thank you for the cheering."

Kaminari waved back before turning to Izuku, his smile getting bigger as he saw his protesting pout. "Aww, is someone angy?" He hugged him from behind, snickering when he saw a glimpse of a smile on the other's expression before an exaggerated frown took over, green eyes deviating from his teasing grin.

"I know you want to smile. ~" Denki delivered a couple of pokes on his stomach, an evil idea full of wiggly fingers and giggly squeals blossoming on his mind. "Maybe the 1-A sunshine need some cheering up after being such sore loser? ~"

Midoriya turned on his embrace, now being face to face at him, determination burning on his features.

"Maybe I do!"

And then he blew a raspberry right on that spot where his neck and collarbone met. A loud, surprised squeak answered him and he was quick to dig on Kaminari's hips, being so careful and so mindful to give plenty of attention and tickles to every sensitive inch of flesh, don't forgetting to still deliver smaller raspberries at random spots on the blond's neck, successfully ending with all his coordination to get revenge.

"Whahahahat!! That is nOT-" A snort, more bubbly giggles. "That is not fahahhair!!!"

"But you're helping me to cheer up. See, I have no more pouts and no more frowns thanks to you!"

"Then stop!"

Kaminari tried to squirm his way out of the ticklish embrace, finding that maybe bringing Midoriya to his lap when he decided to tickle-hug him wasn't his best idea.

"I don't know. I think I am still a bit grumpy..." He stopped his attack in order to gently trace that spot right on the blond's right third rib, drawing circles around it and trying to not giggle together when Denki's bubbly snickers filled the air. "Maybe you amazing laughter can help me with that!"

[~.~]

[You know, this fluffy duster feels a lot like your tail...]

"You know, this fluffy duster feels a lot like your tail..." Izuku said, thoughtfully, a particular idea shining on his mind that may or may not was inspired by yesterday's Great Tickle Fight.

"Really?" Ojiro, (un)fortunately, didn't notice the danger hidden on the smaller's words, petting the duster and the fluff on his tail for a bit in comparison. "It really is. But it's not stronger like mine tail!" He made a show of flexing the aforementioned, both chickling at his silliness. "Oh, are you going to clean the curtains? I can help!"

A plan formed on Izuku's mind. He controlled his features to not show the playful grin that threatened to take over his face.

"Yes. Could you hold that part right there?" He pointed to a high spot on the fabric. "I can't research it."

"No problem!" The blond smiled and did as asked, not realizing the way Midoriya stepped closer nor how his shirt exposed a small patch on his stomach with his new position. "Like this?"

"Yes!" Izuku, then, shoved the fluffly, soft, tickly duster under his shirt, instigating a loud squeak to escape from the other.

"Midoriya!!"

But he didn't let go of the curtain, a smile spreading on his face.

"Yes?"

"Dohon't"

The green haired boy slightly moved the duster, quick enough to make the bristles of the feathers to barely tease the skin, but only that. Another yelp and a few giggles leading Ojiro to try to hide his red face on his shoulder.

"Don't what?" He beamed.

A small shook of head, a shy giggle. "Ihim not falling for thahat."

"Aw. But I am going to tickle you anyway!" Ojiro yelped, trying to curl on himself, however immediately regretting his decision as the movement shot light shocks across his torso, every feather following his squirms. "Yes! I am going to tickle, tickle, tickle you until all those cutes squeals and nice laughter trapped inside are free. As a future hero, it's my job to help them!"

"Dohohon't say that word." His words were in vain, especially because now Midoriya carried that determined look, thoughts racing on his mind as his hands continued to keep the duster on the same place.

"Maybe I should try to tickle his stomach first? I could start wiggling the duster there and then change to his sides and ribs or maybe I could start on his sides and ribs going up and down a few times and then tickle his stomach as I change from a side to another. The element of surprise is always a powerful tool so I should always change from going extremely soft and low to more quick attacks! I wonder if I can try it on his tail too? I could-"

"Ihihizuku, please!" The one being called snapped out of his rambling by a very flustered, giggly Ojiro, who still held the curtains as if his life depended on it. "J-juhust do it already, plehease."

And Izuku was happy to oblige.

[~.~]

[As nice as this is, we really should get up]

"As nice as this is, we really should get up." Tokoyami said softly, patting the green hair of the head which rested on his shoulder, - it was really as fluffy as it looked! - almost snorting when Midoriya squinted his eyes at the credit's playing on the screen. "Everyone else already went to their room."

Izuku looked around, as if he just realized all his friends decided to call it a night when President Mic - who has been called both due his good taste in movies and to keep an eye on them and their ability to cause chaos - woke up half of the class as he fell asleep in a bad position and started snoring, accidentally activating his quirk.

"It's not-" A yawn cut Izuku's words and pulled Tokoyami away from his thoughts. "It's not a movie night if we can't watch at least five movies."

"Oh no, the horrible punishments that the Universe will bought upon us after such terrible offense. What we shall do in the face of that helpless fate?"

Midoriya lightly shoved him away, a sleepy smile taking all the seriousness from his frown. "N't f'nny."

Tokoyami started to softly scribble his fingers on the other's neck, following him as he tiredly wiggled away, no real fight on his movements.

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Tohohokoyami! Naha!"

"What? Wait... Is this the punishment from the Universe?" Maybe it was because it was so rare for his friend being this playful, or because the drops of faked seriousness painting his words, but Midoriya found himself giggling harder, a bubbly tittering escaping as the tickling traveled to behind his ears. "Giggling and wiggling until we inevitably give up and decide to watch movies until the end of our brief mortal existence, oh, the pain."

"You're so sihihihilly!"

"Me, the embodiment of darkness ‘silly’? Oh, Midoriya, what have they done to you?" His tune was bathed in faux pity.

"Plehehehease!" Tokoyami decided to travel to the smaller boy's sides, scratching and poking them lightly enough to keep the flow of airy laughter and rare squeaks as a reward for the sudden, quick pinches. "It tickles! It tickles so much!"

"The Universe is tickling you? Will the cruelness ever end? Ah, the struggles someone as ticklish, so, so ticklish as you must be going through... Do not give up, Midoriya!" He did his best to not huff in amusement as the aforementioned hugged him, hiding his face oh his chest and muffling his louder laughter due the teases. "Don't let its darkness to dim your light."

His fingertips grazed the back of his ribs, Izuku only giggled harder, "Okahahay, Okay! We- no, not there! - we can go slehehehep!"

Tokoyami stopped the light tickling, waiting for the moment green eyes locked on his before proceeding, a deadly serious gaze on his face.

"Don't." Izuku warned.

"But the Universe's punishment-"

"O-oh my GOD!"

[~.~]

[i did not say that!]

"I did not said that!" But the giggles were already spilling out.

"Yes!!" Izuku, the traitor, couldn't be any more happy, basically sparkling as the feathers of his wings fluffed up in amusement. "You did! You did! You did! I am totally going to do that, now!"

Kirishima was quick to retrieve a pillow and prepare it to a fight, pointing it at his guardian angel with a half groan, half giggle. "That is not fair, man!! You can't ask questions when I am about to sleep, I always say the first thing that pops in my mind!"

"It wasn't really my original intention," the angel smiled sheepishly. "Humans' need to sleep are still confusing to me... But!!" He crept closer, fingers wiggling. "That only means that when you said yesterday..."

"No."

"That you likes when I-"

"No!" Big smiles, small giggles. "Come on. Shut up!"

"-that you like when I tickle you-" The rest of the sentence was a squeak as the red haired boy jumped at him, his soft weapon firm on his hands, and both dashed across the room in a chase. "I knew it!" Izuku laughed, - laughed. Not shyly giggled or awkwardly grinned, - pleased that one of his theories about his protected human (and friend) was right.

Damn, Kirishima wanted to at least fake a pout and put on a real fight, but how could he when the magical being was acting so happily? When he was so full of joy?

That didn't stop him from tackling his friend on the floor, both rolling in a playful roughhousing and playing fair until Kirishima felt something incredibly, impossibly soft on his neck, wide eyes as he realized only now how Midoriya's wings were stretched around him, almost engulfing both beings on its length.

The soft feeling came back, now scribbling all over his neck, sending tickly shocks through his body and weaking his strength, something which allowed the other launch his arms around his waist, hugging Eijirou from behind and leaving him to freely stare at some free feathers that slowly swung on his direction, aiming for his tickle spots.

Izuku felt a bit worried when the human stopped squirming.

"If I last 30 seconds without laughing you will let me go to that Parkour classes on Monday."

"But they're dangerous," Eijirou interrupted him, "you can use your magic feathers."

He could almost feel the angel thinking, analysing his options.

"Forty-five seconds."

"I will get you back and ask Shinsou to help me."

Pout. "You're mean."

A feather wriggled on his bellybutton, cutting any snark answer that the human had to that.

More feathers appeared in front of him. Adrenaline ran on Kirishima's veins at the idea of his new challenge.

"Deal."

[...]

Sidenote: Shinsou is Kirishima's cat. He loves to randomly lay and nap on the angel, but for some reason his purring tickles Izuku. He likes to purr a lot. Izuku is almost sure the feline knows what he is doing. Kirishima think the whole situation is hilarious.

[astralaffairs]

How do you think Phillip would handle an anxiety attack/depressive episode? As someone with depression, I experience these a lot and having someone there with me is nice

hey honey!! i empathize w u 100% — I've struggled w/ depression for years. that said, i kinda struggled w this, since having ppl with me when i go thru depressive episodes can be difficult for me, so i'm super sorry if this doesn't 100% reflect your experiences!!! as much as ik where you're coming from, i think my own perspective n experiences kinda colored how this turned out (also it got v long n self indulgent oops)

-----

"Hey, princess, you around?" Your eyes widened at the words, echoing down the hall of your apartment from your living room. "Y/N?"

You didn't respond at first, weren't sure what to say. You liked hearing the sound of his voice; it was a comfort in itself, but you also weren't sure whether you wanted him to find you in your room, still in bed in your pajamas, your now-empty bag of Fritos perched on the pillow beside you. You almost regretted giving him a key. You were exhausted — it was no secret for anyone who caught a glance of your half-lidded stare, the bags under your eyes. You were propped up against a pillow at the headboard, but you were still slouched over into your bent knees, curled into yourself.

You could see that he'd flipped the kitchen light on, its furthest reaches flooding the hall toward your bedroom. You wondered whether that'd mask the light coming from your room.

Your phone lit up beside you, but you couldn't see what the message you'd received actually said. It was instead filed under the notification, 'Pip 🥺💞: 7 unread messages.'

You reached over to put your phone on your bedside table, but when you did, your bed creaked loudly. You winced at the noise. Apparently, it also catalyzed the footsteps that'd stalled in your front room to kick back into action, now headed in your direction.

"Baby?" His voice was laced with concern, now. "You back here?"

When he reached your room, he raised an eyebrow, knocked lightly on the doorframe, and you sighed. "Hey, is everything okay? Can I come in?"

You didn't respond immediately, hesitant to speak for fear of him hearing the apathy that you knew had taken root deep in your voice. Eventually, after a long moment of apprehensive silence, you said, "Yeah. Yeah, of course you can."

How quiet, tired your words sounded only heightened the worry in his knit brow. His actions were tentative as he approached you. Your body was tense as he took a seat at the foot of your bed. "What're you doing in bed? It's almost 6 PM."

"What, I'm not allowed to be in bed in my own apartment?" Your voice was unnecessarily combative, and his eyebrows shot up at the sudden hostility.

"I didn't say that. Of course you are," he replied, and how gentle his tone was had you immediately struck with a pang of guilt. "But your laptop's off, and I know you've been silencing your phone. I just mean... genuinely, what have you been doing in here?"

You shrugged halfheartedly, not meeting his eyes. "I dunno. It's my day off; I don't have to be productive all the time, Philip." Again, when you spoke, it was accusatory, and Philip pursed his lips.

"Did I do something? Are you angry with me?"

Being branded as 'angry' usually would've multiplied your frustration tenfold — no, you weren't angry, but he'd showed up at your apartment unannounced and proceeded to question your lazy evening in; didn't you at least have a right to be annoyed? — but his searching gaze looked so troubled when it met yours that you couldn't bring yourself to be. Ultimately, you shook your head.

"No, you didn't. I just..." When you trailed off, you'd intended to finish the sentence, but you realized you didn't have a decent explanation to offer him. He sighed.

"Something's wrong. Talk to me; c'mon." You didn't say anything, and he scooted across your mattress to sit beside you, discarding your empty, crinkled snack bag to the floor. "Y/N?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," you murmured, and though you offered him a tired smile, he frowned.

"Hey, no you're not." When he reached for your hand, you flinched, more due to instinct born of the tension in your bloodstream than to any real intention. Nonetheless, it took him aback. He was about to pull away, but when you relaxed, he laced his fingers tentatively into yours. You didn't rebuke him. "Y'know I'm here for you, right?"

The smile you managed to contrive at that was, in your opinion, more convincing than your previous one. "I know, baby. I love you. But really, I'm doing alright. I've just been tired today; I wanted to come take a nap. Sorry if I'm being grumpy."

You thought your words would've assuaged his concerns; they had with everyone who'd heard them before. However, Philip let out a heavy breath, shaking his head. "Please, don't bullshit me. I know you too well for that."

Your light laugh in response felt like an adequate supplement, and you squeezed his hand. "Relax. I'm not bullshitting, okay?"

You held firm on your smile as he eyed you warily, and when he leaned over to kiss you, you relished in the touch, eyes fluttering shut as his nose skimmed your skin. He didn't pull all the way away, though, resting his forehead against yours.

His lips met your cheek, and against your skin, he whispered, "Stop hiding. I love you, and you're only worrying me more."

He took your chin in his free hand as he pulled just inches away, watching carefully when your eyes widened. "C'mon, what makes you think—?"

"I know you." He cut you off firmly, the words leaving little room for protest or contradiction. You didn't like how exposed you felt. "And I can tell that something's seriously wrong."

A moment passed in silence; your eyes darted across his expression, searching for any degree of uncertainty, but he was set fully in his convictions. You bit your lip. "Okay," you finally said, voice tiny. "I... I'm sorry, Philip."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I just want you to be honest with me." He reached up to smooth his hand over your hair, it eventually coming to rest at the nape of your neck. You nodded.

"I know." You ran your thumb over his knuckles, staring down at where your hands were interlinked. "But... I don't know what to tell you. Nothing happened, and there's nothing you can fix."

"Then what isn't okay?" he asked. "What can you talk to me about? What's weighing on you?"

How earnest his voice was only left you frustrated, sitting beside him with no answer to give. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm what's been ruining my day."

"What d'you mean?"

You huffed, tried to pull your hand away as you turned your head, struggling to articulate anything. You felt stupid; you knew whatever would come out of your mouth would sound stupid. But he didn't let your hand go, and you found yourself easing back toward his body.

"This whole day has just... it's been so fucking hard. And I haven't even done anything. I'm still in bed, for god's sake; I've been useless." Your own words made your skin crawl. You sounded so whiny; why couldn't you form a thought without coming off as pathetic?

"It's your day off, right? Why should you be productive?" he echoed your own words back to you with a kind smile, and your involuntary resentment eased in the slightest.

"Thanks, Pip. But..." You swallowed. "I'm so tired. Everything I try to do feels so exhausting. The reason my laptop's still off is because trying to find something to watch was just... making me feel worse."

He nodded. "I'm sorry." You were momentarily disappointed when he released your hand, but that same arm then snaked around your waist, and he paused, not yet trying to pull you into him. "This okay?"

How gently, how tenderly he was treating you your fatigued gaze slowly softening. "Yeah." You shut your eyes when he held you close, leaning you into his body. He was so warm, and he was so good to you. "Love you," you murmured.

"I love you, too." The small, weak smile you gave was all but imperceptible when he kissed the top of your head. "So, what d'you think's going on, then? Are you getting sick? Do I need to take you to the doctor? Pick up some antibiotics?"

The concern in his eyes had returned when you glanced up to him once more, and you pursed your lips. "No, no, it's not... I don't need the doctor, or any ibuprofen, or whatever," you murmured, and your tone sounded more hopeless than you realized. You'd burrowed your face into Philip's side, by then, and you couldn't see it when he pursed his lips. The despair in his eyes was heavier than you'd have guessed.

"Alright, princess," he said quietly. When a beat passed, you thought he was going to leave it at that, but his voice was apprehensive when he continued. "Is there... something else you know that has you so spent?"

The noise of discontent you let out into his t-shirt was almost a groan. You weren't overly pleased with his hitting the mark, but after a long pause, you gave a small, weak nod. "Yeah," you whispered. "But it isn't something you can fix."

He didn't hesitate, then, to pull you into his lap, though the action caught you by surprise. Both his hands were holding you to him by the waist; you shifted in his grasp, turning to rest against his chest, your arms looped around his neck. "Then it's a good thing you aren't broken." You lifted your head from his chest, turning it to look up at him curiously, and one of his hands left your waist, instead coming to cup your cheek. "My sister's been dealing with depression for most of her life. I get that I'll never know what it's like, but if you're willing to talk to me, trust me when I say I won't take it lightly."

His thumb sweeped across your cheekbone as you stared up at him in surprise. He furrowed his eyebrows. "What's up? Was my assumption off-base?

At that, you let out a huff, surprised but no longer bitter. "No. You're just too perceptive for your own good sometimes; you know that?" you murmured, and he laughed. You could feel it reverberate in his chest against your body.

"Not too perceptive for your own good, though, apparently." He raised an eyebrow at you, expectant, and you rolled your eyes. When you didn't respond, he continued, "How come you never told me?"

"I don't know." You sniffed. "Depression's just so fucking stupid. Like, sorry, your brain chemicals are fucked up, so you're going to spend the next week rotting in bed. What kind of deal is that?"

The droll annoyance in your words made him smile. Anything was better than the apathy. "Really, princess, who comes up with this stuff?" he replied, mirth laced into his tone as he plastered on a look of annoyance. You cracked a small smile.

"I dunno, but I'd like to have a talk with them sometime. Give 'em a piece of my mind."

He laughed, absentmindedly rubbing circles into your lower back. "You should. Stick it to the man." The way he nodded decisively made you purse your lips, small smile threatening to widen into a watery grin. "But until then, is there anything I can do for you right now? What have you done today?"

You let out a heavy sigh against his body, with that, once again fully present in your wreck of a bedroom. "I showered, and I ate a family-size bag of chips."

"Hey, so you got out of bed." He nudged you with his shoulder, wearing an encouraging smile. "That's something, right?"

"Mmhmm. And then I got right back into bed," you huffed.

"Alright. What have you eaten today? Anything?"

You raised an eyebrow. "We just covered this. Family-sized bag of chips."

"That's not exactly a meal, baby," he said, and his furrowed brow made you scowl. "Hey, I don't mean to downplay that; I'm really glad you ate. I just wanna know if I can get you anything else."

You shrugged. "I'm not hungry."

"Is there any food that you'd eat right now if you had it in front of you?"

There was a pause; you didn't move, gaze blank as you considered it, but again, you shrugged. "I dunno. Chocolate sounds nice. But I don't need anything."

"You need to eat."

"That's so unhealthy," you said quietly. Just your single day's worth of poor eating habits had you feeling beyond lousy about your body; you had no desire to see a mirror until at least the next day.

"What's unhealthy is letting yourself starve, princess." You rested the side of your head against his chest once more, having no desire to meet his eyes. You didn't want his stare to be judgmental.

"'M not starving," you mumbled, and one of his hands rose to the back of your head, holding you close as you leaned into him.

"I'm not accusing you of anything," he whispered, and his thumb brushed across the skin of your neck. "Relax. I love you. I can go and get you anything you want to eat."

"No, no, don't leave. Don't leave me," you murmured, and your hold on him tightened. "Just stay with me. Please. I'll deal with everything I've been neglecting in the morning."

He sighed. "Baby, you know I want to, but I'm worried about you. Someone's gotta take care of you if you aren't gonna take care of yourself."

"Later." You looked up at him, and he could see your distress in your gaze. "I promise, Philip. I'm just so tired. Just wanna stay in bed. Want you here with me."

"Okay." He kissed your forehead. "Okay, I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

"I promise, princess."

[ducktracy]

176. porky’s garden (1937)

release date: september 11th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: mel blanc (porky, chickens), george humbert (neighbor), earle hodgins (salesman)

this would be tex avery’s final black and white cartoon until 1941, and his second to last porky cartoon. how time flies! i enjoy his porky entries a lot. the blow out, the village smithy, and of course porky’s duck hunt are all shorts of his that i find myself coming back to frequently. but, of course, greater tex cartoons lie ahead. interestingly enough, this is also the second and final credit for animator elmer wait, who passed away in july of 1937. chuck jones once described him as “a fine young assistant animator who died too young." i’ve heard speculation that tex’s little-known character elmer fudd was named in wait’s honor--i’m not sure if it was that, or the fact that every other cartoon character in the 1930′s was named elmer, but this is a claim i can find myself believing with more conviction than other animation claims. for now, we visit farmer porky, who’s eager to enter the local contest for the largest home grown product. however, his stereotypical italian neighbor seeks to out-perform him at any cost.

this cartoon is a peculiar anomaly in the tex avery-verse, in that it feels much more like the 1936 avery porky cartoons than the 1937 bunch—and almost deliberately, too. the cartoon starts off very similarly to his first directorial entry, gold diggers of ��49, laying out the time (1927), the place (podunk center), and the population 500 502 — mrs. castle bottom just had twins!). though tex would constantly reuse gags all throughout his career (and quite well, often elevating the hyperactivity of the gag), it’s rather uncharacteristic for him to reuse a gag for nostalgic purposes. nevertheless, the opening is amusing, and faster paced than its facsimile over at gold diggers of ‘49. the sound of the baby wail as the 500 is replaced with 502 is an extra bonus.

a sign gag featuring the tried and true income tax gag (which has been used, and will continue to be used, in a number of cartoons--tex’s milk and money is another porky entry that uses this gag):

porky is amongst the group crowding around the sign, joyfully declaring that he’s going to win first prize with his garden. cue the antagonist of the picture, porky’s curious italian neighbor, voiced by george humbert. humbert was an italian actor, starring in a large number of hollywood films throughout the ‘30′s and ‘40′s. if i recall, bob clampett once mentioned that tex would go to the movies to get ideas, no doubt his reasoning for getting humbert to do the cartoon. humbert’s vocals shine and add a lot of vitality to this otherwise tame entry. speaking of, italian neighbor is quick to contradict porky: “ohohohoho no, i gonna ween with my cheeken!” with that, he leapfrogs over porky, who is quick to bumble along after him.

we get a brief overhead shot of the two neighbors and their respective houses, the overhead shot once again calling back to earlier porky entries such as milk and money. the competitors both go to their gardens to out-perform the other. cue a short gardening sequence with porky, who uses his straightened out tail to dig holes in the soil, big enough to drop seeds in. his neighbor, on the other hand, concocts a meal full of vitamins and tonics for his chickens cheekens, narrating all the way. the underscore is a stalling favorite, “chicken reel”, and if my memory is correct, i BELIEVE this is the first instance it’s used in a warner bros. short? cue a seemingly arbitrary cut back to porky, who finishes the job of planting. back to the neighbor who summons his chickens to eat his mystery feed of who-knows-what. the chickens dig in... only to halt, spit out the food, and hold their noses (beaks) in disgust. great timing--the drawings especially of the chickens rejecting the food feel quite avery-esque, which is nice: it’s always nice to feel the personal touches of the director.

cut back to porky, a cue of “carolina in the morning” (which is impossible for me to hear without thinking of daffy kaye’s rendition of it in the anomaly that is book revue) underscoring his plan to use hair growth tonic as a means of growing a quick, hearty, full harvest. the scene is cute, yet sluggish--if the cartoon were made even 5 years later, it would have been twice as fast, if not more so. nevertheless, his plan works: the ground shakes beneath him, and crops as tall as the eye can see spurt out from the soil. satisfied, old pigdonald strolls inside, “uh-veh-vuh-vo-do-de-oh”ing and “uh-uh-eh-beh-beh-boop-de-oop”ing all the way along (to remind our audience that this cartoon takes place in 1927--because, why not, right?)

meanwhile, pesky neighbor pops his head over the fence, equally as impressed with the results as porky. perfect food to fatten up the cheekens! the animation of the neighbor is rich and full, humbert’s vocals of course magnifying the quality. with that, the neighbor loosens up one of the boards in the fence, sparking the feeding frenzy: “come an’ get it!”

the chickens do just that. calling back to the days of porky the rain-maker (where there were vegetable gags galore), we get a montage of semi-amusing “chickens eating vegetables in creative ways” gags. one chicken uses a tomato vine as a straw, sucking out the pulp from all of the tomatoes connected. another rolls a line of peas straight into its mouth, rolling up the shell like a toothpaste tube. 

though the gags rouse polite chuckles at most today, the most uproarious gag is the last one: a chicken and a baby chick fight over a watermelon. big cheeken asserts its authority by flicking the baby chick away, spouting tearful insults at the bully chicken. just then, fortune: the chick spots a patch of spinach, the seeds belonging to jones (yes, that chuck jones--whose birthday is today! happy birthday, chuck!) garden company. i can’t say this with staunch certainty, but i do have reason to believe that this cartoon was backlogged for a few months: chuck jones would have been at bob clampett’s unit during the time of this cartoon’s release, but the allusion to his name, the animation of this scene looking peculiarly reminiscent of bob clampett’s animation, and the lack of irv spence animation leads me to believe as such. nevertheless, as you may be able to surmise, the chick transforms into a caricature of popeye, complete with jack mercer-esque mumblings and popeye speak. the newly transformed chick socks the chicken right in the face, usurping the half-eaten watermelon slice and gobbling it down all in one go. easily the highlight of the cartoon, and a gag that can be appreciated regardless of time period.

one last eating gag of a chicken plucking a ripe worm from an apple (fittingly scored to “in the shade of the old apple tree”). the joke suffers from constipated timing, more on the part of carl stalling than the animator. there is a nice, quick, shiver take as the chicken attempts to rip the apple open into two halves. fade out.

fade back in on the feeding frenzy. porky takes notice, and is not happy about it. he does a lumbering, quick little run that calls back to the 1936 porky entries where he was much more short and squat (virgil ross animation?), zooming out of screen, then back in again to retrieve a nearby broom. porky swats the chickens frantically, but to no avail: despite his angry demands for them to get out, they continue to eat.

virgil ross animates the next scene as porky confronts his neighbor: “hey, n-nn-ne-neighbor, eh-teh-teh-tell your cheh-cheh-cheh-chi-chickens to keep outta my uh-geh-eh-geh-eh-geh-garden!” the neighbor complies, his vocals hilariously disingenuous as he haggles with the chickens, who, predictably ignore him. thus sparks an overly-profuse string of excuses from the neighbor, who doth protest too much. “you see? i talk to them! but a-they don’t listen to me!” he pauses. “i’m too sorry for you.” another pause, just as we think he’s finished. “...but i cannot talk-a cheeken talk!” one more pause. “i can no make-a the cheeken coming out!”

neighbor finally leaves the disgruntled pig to his own devices, laughing as he talks to the audience. “eet’za too bad...” he looks at the audience and gives them a knowing wink as he finishes “but not too bad!” overall, a great scene. humbert’s vocals are divine, as is the comedic timing. porky’s befuddlement by the rapid-fire responses from his neighbor is another plus. 

back to a downtrodden porky, who mournfully sulks along to a succinctly timed rendition of “am i blue?” (if you listen closely, you can hear the beats lining up exactly with his footsteps.) suddenly, a thick vine growing out of the patch catches his eye. he follows the vine, pulling it like a rope... 

and the perfect solution awaits on the other side of the fence: a giant pumpkin! perfect for the harvest contest. 

porky lugs his new prize out from the fence, which instantly attracts the attention of the hungry chickens. spark the ever transformative avery moment, where the cartoon halts to make a big production out of nowhere--in this case, football. the favorite “freddy the freshman” score serves as the backing track of the makeshift football game as the chickens line up to take position: “HIKE!”

the next sequence appears to be animated by chuck jones: porky runs long, pumpkin in hand as he swats away the oncoming rush of chickens. the extra touches of making porky do some twirls and swivels as he attempts to maintain balance are not taken for granted. a nice straight-ahead shot of the football field turned garden, with a trellis in the foreground and clothesline in the background to form goal posts--very clever! 

it’s not the chickens who serve as porky’s pumpkin demise, but rather a spare crate left on the ground. porky trips, horrified as he watches his pumpkin launch into the air and across the yard. we get a tashlin-esque concealed pan as porky darts through his house to retrieve his prize, the action obscured: we only see a brief glimpse of the house’s facade, the drumroll and sound effect of the airborne pumpkin being our only indicator to the success of the stunt. thankfully, porky shuffles out of the other end just in time to catch his pumpkin (topped off with a triumphant “ta-da!” fanfare.) wasting no more time, porky dashes down the road and off to the fair. meanwhile, the neighbor’s chickens are all plumped up, ready to win the first-a prize. 

“the merry go round broke down” scores the scenes at the fair as we catch our hero bumbling along with his prize pumpkin into the fair, neighbor and cheekens not far behind. there’s a line of posters advertising the various attractions at the fair, including a caricature of bobe cannon (once more reinforcing the idea that this cartoon was back-logged: he would have been at the clampett unit by the time of the cartoon’s release.) 

earle hodgins voices the salesman (a specialty of his--he played the pill-peddling salesman in porky the rain-maker, as well as the oil huckster honest john in get rich quick porky) peddling the miracle “reducing pills”. his test subject? an elephant. the salesman pops a pill in the elephant’s mouth, who stares at the audience nonplussed as he shrinks to the size of a mouse... literally. 

the next scene of the salesman is great, as it’s full of energy, zaniness, and fervor. i wonder if it’s a clampett scene? the voice of the salesman rises into astronomical pitch as he describes the size of “teensy, weensy, weensy, bitsy, weensy, teeny little mouse”, capping it all off with a flamboyant “WOO!” and pose. the pose looks similar to the same one struck by daffy in clampett’s entry the henpecked duck 4 years later, hence my reasoning. nevertheless, a great scene of zany eye candy. 

peddling his wares, the salesman accidentally knocks over a spare bottle of reducing pills, right in the trajectory of the passing cheekens. and, predictably, the cheekens devour the pills in no-time.

cue a rather blunt cut to porky, who’s about to receive first prize for his pumpkin, standing on stage and politely soaking in the glory. just as the judge reaches to give him his dough, he halts, spotting the ginormous array of poultry behind the pig. the judge is quick to take back his bag of money, much to the awe of porky (which also gives us this intriguing little error for a few frames). neighbor accepts the bag--that is, until the pills kick in. the chickens revert back to the size of chicks, and there’s just enough comedic pause to let the joke sink in before the chicks revert back to mere eggs. 

we iris out--or so we think. just another declaration of tex’s love of playing with the iris out gags. that is one steamed ham.

not the snappiest entry in the avery repertoire, but not exceedingly dull, either. george humbert steals the show with his acting, and the popeye gag with the chick is wonderfully amusing. the cartoon mainly suffers from sluggish pacing in some parts, tired gags in others, but not enough to exclude a watch-through. it’s a fond look back at the earlier days of tex’s directing, and asserts just how far the cartoons have yet to improve. so, for that, i’d say i’m relatively neutral on whether or not to persuade you to watch it: the porky lover in me and ‘30′s cartoon lover in me say go for it! there are bits of greatness that you should definitely seek out. but it won’t kill you to skip this one either.

here’s the link! (excuse the butchered titles/credits: opening title music is the merry go round broke down which is wrong, and the title card music is the opening to porky’s tire trouble--also wrong, as is the porky “that’s all, folks!” ending over the written script) 

[sparkwhorunswithwolves]

Talking about having no shame, editing out the scenes that contradict your delusional Fanon bullshit AND giving weight to characters’ words and actions in accordance not with the plot, but with your own biased agenda https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/625072293073321984/one-of-fandoms-oldest-lies-has-to-be-stiles#notes “As early as Pack Mentality (1x03), Scott is beginning to listen to Derek and seek his advice, while Stiles tries his best to stop Scott from doing so” Stiles trusted Derek before Scott. It’s literally canon *shrugs* In fact, Stiles trusted Derek until Scott McWhinyCall told him not to. Meanwhile, Scott lied to Stiles and fabricated evidence to frame Derek for Laura’s murder just because “There’s no way I’m not playing!” “Stiles outright fights with Scott to stop him from working with, let alone trusting, Derek” That’s literally never happens in the actual show. When Scott threw Derek under the bus and framed him for murder just because he wanted to be few to play lacrosse and stalk Allison, Stiles was mad and offended on Derek’s behalf. “Stiles pleads with Scott (while concealing information that could lead to Derek’s death) to let Derek die in Formality” Except that Stiles didn’t conceal any information that could lead to Derek’s death in canon (unlike Scott.) He simply said that he THOUGHT Derek took Scott’s phone while they were fighting. Which is a brilliant and correct assumption/intuition, but an assumption and intuition nonetheless. (I do find it telling that Stiles believes Derek to be just as cunning as he would be though.) What @/princeescaluswords conveniently edited out was the part in which Scott replies to Stiles and explicitly says that the only reason he won’t let Derek die by the hands of the Argents is because he needs Derek’s help to protect Allison: SCOTT: Call it again! STILES: It's not here. Okay, so you lost your phone. Why don't you just get a new one? SCOTT: I can't afford a new one! And I can't do this alone! We have to find Derek! STILES: Well, "A", you're not alone. You have me. And "B", didn't you say Derek walked into gunfire? He sounds pretty dead. SCOTT: Argent's plan was to use him to get to the Alpha. They're not gonna kill him. STILES: All right, so then just let them do what they're planning, you know? They use Derek to get Peter. Problem solved. SCOTT: Not if Peter's going after Allison to find Derek! I can't protect her on my own! Which means we either find Derek first - just - just help me! “How many times have they said ‘Scott hated Derek’ or ‘Scott was obsessed with Allison.’ We absolutely know that neither is true” Scott hated Derek and was creepily and unhealthily obsessed with Allison in canon. In fact, Scott hated Derek so much that he told him the hunters had a valid reason to slaughter his pack and family (including humans and children), and he’s so obsessed with Allison that his worst fear was Allison having sex with his rival, Jackson. Or did you miss Scott hallucinating Allison and Jackson having sex TWICE as well, Pew? “If Scott’s sole motivation was his obsession with Allison, why didn’t he sit out the Hale/Argent war like Allison asked him to or sold Derek out to Gerard?” Scott DID sell Derek and his pack out to Gerard though. That’s literally the entire plot of Teen Wolf Season 2. “as season after season passed, Stiles’ focus was on Scott or Malia or Lydia and not Derek” Lmfao wishful thinking much, Pew? Scott was never Stiles’ focus nor Stiles’ main priority. Which is also the source of Scott Stans’ butthurt (oops)

---

Short version: both relationships started with little to no trust, Scott was mostly "forced" to trust Derek as the only source of information, and considering that Lydia had even less agency than Scott, the fact that Derek's more pissed at her than Scott in 3a is fucking bullshit.

Scott trusts Derek. When he has no other option. As soon as he has other options, he immediately questions everything Derek does, the betas, Lydia. (which I'm not saying is wrong it's just fact.) Hell, I'm pretty sure, however "forced to do it" it was, Scott deliberately keeping very important information from Derek that got him violated is maybe not the relationship you want to argue about trust with.

That entire relationship is built on mistrust, threats and spite. But sure, *spongebob meme* Scott trusted him first.

Meanwhile, Derek chose Stiles house, you know, where the sheriff lives? to hide in. Meanwhile Stiles had no reason to believe that Scott was coming for them and still chose to go back for Derek and risk drowning both of them. (also: "I'm totally down to get my ass kicked by an alpha pack" vs the alley thing, Boyd's death, the anchor scene.)

Scott and Derek's entire relationship is built on werewolf drama and being forced to work together because of a mutual enemy/it's the right thing to do, but, correct me if I'm wrong, they never really went past friendly/allies.

While Stiles and Derek's goes from mutual snark and lifesaving to an actual friendship. Until all my faves got yeeted off the show but—

As for the summer, tangentially related to the Stiles' life outside of Scott ask, because it's none of his business? Scott has made it absolutely clear that Derek isn't his alpha and he doesn't care.

Also, because of perspective. At the end of s2, Scott and Derek's relationship was pretty much done with, until it's swept under the rug in 3a for? Reasons? And it has no impact on Scott who Stiles spends his time with. Donovan had nothing to do with Scott.

But Scott's lies of omission always, always, affect other people. Allison and werewolves, Victoria, Derek and Gerard, Kira's fox in s5.

It's not that neither of them lies, or that both of them weren't responsible for Lydia, Malia, I think there was another one, but when only one of them keeps a secret, Stiles' tends to be to keep him or his safe from perceived threats, while Scott's more often than not are to keep important information from his people.

Allison is— annoying and complicated and just so unnecessarily werewolves made him do it.

The "not a stalker" tattoo was all Scott, his insistence to spend time with Allison/play lacrosse is partially trauma based, but still his decision. Listening in on her conversations is creepy and he has no right to be upset about it. And then it gets complicated and uncomfortable.

Because most of his creepy stalker shit was triggered by werewolves/wolfsbane/magic fuckery, but no matter who was behind it/how much control they had, they always chose Allison.

It always painted Allison very firmly as the victim, and victimized Scott because "it wasn't really him". But with the above, and tw's general consent issues, it becomes hard to tell where exactly that line was, how much of it was put in his head, or how much it just enhanced it/lowered his "this is wrong don't do it".

We just don't know how much of that was first love drama/trauma response, and how far he got influenced by magical fuckery.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #222: A Gathering of Evil!

August, 1982

You know, I haven’t really thought about how long its been since the Avengers have dealt with the Masters of Evil.

The Masters are the Avengers’ evil opposite team. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants to their X-Men. The Legion of Doom to their Justice League. The Revengers to their Avengers.

But the Avengers haven’t had to deal with the Masters of Evil since Avengers #83. And in that appearance, they took a backseat to the real master of evil. FEMINISM.

At least according to Roy Thomas.

But yeah. Its been a while without the Masters of Evil. And, uh, any team with Whirlwind has a long way to climb for credibility. Yeah, I said it. He doesn’t wear a shirt.

Also, they put She-Hulk in her at-the-time Iconic She-Hulk Outfit. This is another case of the cover lying. The reality is, somehow, even more embarrassing for her.

Last time: the Avengers had a membership drive because you can only be a kooky quartet for so long. She-Hulk and Hawkeye were recruited and took an instant dislike to each other.

Because She-Hulk cut off Hawkeye in traffic and Hawkeye proportionately responded by breaking her car.

Fun!

So lets get to it.

We start with She-Hulk trying to fix her car.

Annnnd she’s throwing random pieces out of the hood. I don’t think she knows much about auto-repair.

When the electrical system zaps her, she gets so angry that she smashes the car flat like she’s a Street Fighter. Then she jams the wreckage into a public trashcan - also flattening that.

Alas, She-Hulk’s pink Cadillac. You graced our lives for far too short a time. And were taken from us by that heinous bowman Hawkeye. This is the sin which I will always hold against him.

Wasp rolls into the scene, tsking about She-Hulk’s behavior being bad for the Avengers’ image. And hey, yeah! I do like that She-Hulk trying to fix a car in front of the mansion before getting fed-up and breaking it is a good indication that she’s not going to be your typical Avenger.

But despite the tsk she’s not too serious about the admonishment. She even congratulates She-Hulk on getting rid of the car, as it clashed with her skin color.

Reasonably enough, She-Hulk asks who made Wasp the expert.

Except, Wasp did. Wasp made Wasp an expert. She’s literally a professional fashion designer. But relatedly, she’s designed a whole new wardrobe for She-Hulk and can’t wait to dress her up.

I kind of wonder if Wasp views new female teammates as potential canvasses.

Later on, in the Busiek run, she’ll design a new outfit for Firestar pretty much without any input from Firestar herself. And it had an incredibly plunging neckline that Firestar was very uncomfortable with.

If Wasp offers to fashion design for you, feel flattered and a little bit afraid.

Anyway, She-Hulk decides well might be nice to try on a bunch of new clothes.

Y’know, She-Hulk is a bit of a fashion person herself. In her original solo book she started the ‘oops I flexed and my sleeves fell off’ fashion.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Tony Stark at Stark International.

Big boss himself came down to the Long Island office because one of his programmers has asked for time off.

Brenner’s son is sick and he needs to pick him up from school. BUT: he’s in the middle of a complicated computer project!

Like the idealized fictional caring billionaire that he is, Tony is completely understanding.

Tony Stark, what a guy: “Well, your son is more important than any computer program, take the rest of the day off -- with pay.”

If you end up stuck in the Marvel universe somehow, see about swinging a job with Tony Stark. Tony Stark makes you feel/he’s the cool exec with the heart of steel.

Tony decides he’ll get Ordinary Electrical Engineer Scott Lang to finish the programming work.

Ordinary Electrical Engineer Scott Lang is happy to pick up the project but since Tony Stark is in the room anyway, Scott asks if Iron Man has mentioned any news of Hank Pym.

For you see, although you might think that this Scott Lang is an Ordinary Electrical Engineer, he is actually the new Ant-Man so he feels indebted to Hank Pym.

Tony responds that there hasn’t been any news since Hank Pym went to jail so Scott asks why the Avengers haven’t done anything for him. Tony claims that there’s not a lot that the Avengers can do for him until his case comes to trial.

You could hire him a good lawyer? Or pay for that therapy that you thought he needed?

I guess I don’t know that Tony isn’t doing these things off-screen, to be fair.

Tony further claims that Hank will do fiiiine in jail, because he’s tough. Scott remains dubious since he’s actually been to jail and knows what its like. But there’s only so much you can contradict the boss, even if he’s idealized fictional caring billionaire Tony Stark.

And anyway, Tony has other things on his mind. He’s more worried about Jan than he is about Hank. She’s way too well-adjusted for having gotten divorced after her marriage turned miserable. According to Tony Stark anyway.

Of course, his major misunderstanding is that he thinks “she had [Hank] to lean on for so many years” when it was more the other way around. The Jan he thought he knew was actually playing the role of the Hank Pym Hype Squad.

Meanwhile, we check in on Steve Rogers.

One thing I appreciate about this run of Avengers is that we have more of a sense of what the Avengers are doing when not Avengersing. The Avengers book feels a lot more keyed into the rest of the related Marvel universe.

For example, Steve actually got some art jobs! It looks like comics book actually! And he does art for advertisements too!

And he’s living that glamorous artist life of staying up all night to finish pages and then going ‘oh shit my day job’ when his alarm rings for the Avengers meeting.

Although he’s actually looking forward to getting the costume on and getting away from dealing with ad executives and art editors for a while.A good ol’ several hours in the Avengers gym will help work out the art desk bad posture knots out of his shoulders.

And elsewhere in Chicago, Illinois, where Ordinary Doctor Donald Blake has moved to attempt to make a life for himself separate from Thor. He’s doubtful whether he actually can.

I sorta wonder what the status quo in the Thor books is like because usually when Dr. Donald Blake shows up in the Avengers book, he’s been like a wandering expert doctor, just passing through. Showing up to do the tough medical jobs. He’s settling down in Chicago now.

But at least the thousand mile commute to the weekly Avengers meeting is no problem for THOR!

Now that Hawkeye is on the Avengers again, he’s part of the round of checking in. He’s clocking out of the security chief job at Cross Technological Enterprises. His colleagues all envying how he gets to set his own hours.

He takes a train from Yonkers to his new Central Park West apartment. I don’t know if you remember his living conditions before he got the job at Cross Technological but it was a bit suck. He’s definitely put his steady paycheck to use improving his digs.

Old (from issue #189):

New (from issue #this issue):

Although maybe too much. Because when he gets home he realizes that he has almost no food in his apartment and also no money until payday.

Hawkeye: “Where the heck does $1200 a week go, anyway? I don’t play Pac-Man that much! There was more change in my pocket in the old carny days!”

Psst, Hawkeye. Definitely sign up for the stipend check from Stark.

Another thousand a week will go a long way to keeping you living the can afford food standard of living you’re accustomed to.

He manages to find a bag of potato chips to snack on but decides he’ll have to see if he can find an actual square meal at Avengers Mansion.

Likely. Jarvis seems the sort to keep the fridge well-stocked and heck he’d probably make something if asked.

Anyway, Hawkeye being Hawkeye, he’s not going to take the elevator or stairs. He’s definitely going to fire a cable arrow so he can swing down from his balcony. Because, of course he is. He’s Hawkeye.

And he lands right in front of a taxi, the driver of which calls him a nut

Hawkeye: “You want a star in your cab or not?”

Turns out? No. Hawkeye has to walk to Avengers Mansion and arrives late because the cabbie won’t give him a free ride.

Meanwhile at Avengers Mansion (which fails to elicit the same kneejerk emotional response as ‘meanwhile at the HALL of JUSTICE’ from me), the She-Hulk clothing montage has occurred off-screen.

For shaaaame, James Shooter. And also Steven Grant.

She-Hulk isn’t so sure about the outfit Wasp put together for her.

Wasp: “I call it Arabian Night -- a blend of suppleness, strength and sensitivity to highlight your true nature!”

She-Hulk: “Don’t you think it’s a little... unusual?”

Wasp: “You’re an unusual woman, Jennifer! Your clothes should say that! We want a complete image that’ll drive me wild at the sight of you!”

She-Hulk: “Got anything that’ll drive that jerk Hawkeye one way to oblivion?”

I don’t know if fashion can do that but if anyone could design that, Wasp could. Her or Giger.

Wasp tries to defend Hawkeye but can only manage “he’s okay, just a little... um, well, you know!” but suggests that She-Hulk just be nice to Hawkeye to throw him off.

Which. Sounds like a funny idea.

Anyway, I like the outfit. The colors work for her. And maybe it’s because there are a couple Dragon Ball outfits like this but it feels appropriate for her. Because of the punching.

Iron Man comes in and goes ga-ga multiple punctuation over She-Hulk’s new look, which I guess proves that Wasp hit where she was aiming.

Wasp: “Oh, more flattery! More! I love it! And this is just the beginning. Wait until you see the fighting togs I’m designing for her!”

So I guess that this is just an outfit to look good in and Wasp is still working on the superhero outfit. Can’t wait to see it.

Captain America and Thor come in and Thor too praises She-Hulk’s new look.

Thor: “By Odin’s beard! What emerald beauty stands before us?”

They date later. Its one of those ‘wow expected this to happen way sooner than 2018 honestly’ things.

And then Hawkeye comes in.

He also loses his shit over She-Hulk’s new look. But in more of a Hawkeye way.

Hawkeye: “Waitaminit! Is it Cheryl Tiegs? Loni Anderson? No! It’s the new fashion plate -- the Savage She-Hulk! Talk about trying to get silk purses from sow’s ears!”

You’re a rude, Hawkeye.

She-Hulk storms towards him, offended, and just lifts him bodily.

And kisses him.

Then drops his ass on the ground.

I guessss remembering and putting her own spin on Wasp’s suggestion?

People need to stop kissing each other for spite and revenge reasons, honestly.

I do get a laugh at Hawkwye demanding a rematch. Can’t imagine what form that’d take. But its funny.

I kind of have a problem with the scene, beyond the people kissing each other for spite and revenge thing. Prior to joining the Avengers, the issue where She-Hulk got her pink Cadillac was Marvel Two-In-One #88 where she spent nearly the entire issue hitting on the Thing to his discomfort. And the joke was Ha Ha Sexually Assertive Women.

I really hope that we do not have that again.

Anyway, the other Avengers get some yuks over She-Hulk’s method of shutting up Hawkeye.

Iron Man even suggests that Hawkeye and She-Hulk have just had their first date to Hawkeye’s dismay.

Seriously, someone write an Avengers code of conduct and then create an HR department.

MEANWHILE, CHANGING THE TOPIC AND THE SCENE

In Egghead’s secret Manhattan laboratory.

Egghead: “No, it’s not fair! All I ever wanted was to rule the world -- is that so much to ask? I’m 52. That doesn’t give me many years left -- that idiot Henry Pym blew what may have been my last chance!”

Hah at Egghead having a baby tantrum over being thwarted. And I guess good to know that Hank screwing up the plan by calling the Avengers did screw over more than Hank Pym.

Hank may have saved the world, actually. Good job, Hank.

Egghead laments that he wishes he had another good plan but kind of put all the eggs, hah, in the unstoppable adamantium robots basket.

And then his sexy maid Anna chimes in with a suggestion.

Wait, why does Egghead of all villains have a sexy maid? Who seems to have a crush on him? Why is this a thing? Who in or out of universe looks at Egghead and thinks ‘yes this man is a sexual dynamo’?

Eh, whatever.

Anna: “Vhy don’t choo just buy the vorld, darlkink?”

Egghead: “Anna! Vhat... er, what did you say?”

Anna: “You should make a lot ov money und buy the vorld!”

Egghead: “Work?! Disgusting!”

This is probably the only time I will ever be able to say this but I agree with Egghead.

Anna: “No, no, no! Just invent somethink that everyvun vants -- a cure for baldness, mebbe... or eternal youth!”

Egghead: “That’s silly, Anna! Or is it?”

IT IN FACT WASN’T!

Egghead suddenly stands up, dumping sexy maid Anna to the floor, as he realizes that she’s right! If Egghead could invent cell rejuvenation to give people eternal youth, the world would be his oyster! People would give anything for it!

Granted, he has no idea how to invent cell rejuvenation but that’s tomorrow’s problem. Today’s problem is the logistics. He’ll need research, money, equipment and most importantly of all lackeys to steal all that stuff for him so he won’t have to Effort!

So moments later, Egghead signals a robot spy capsule that he has monitoring Atlantis at all times just because.

Egghead’s spy capsule launches a guided missile at an Atlantean prison, busting out someone mysterious unless you happened to glance at the cover.

And we go from one prison to another prison to pop in on Hank Pym at Ryker’s Island.

Ryker’s is apparently the go-to supervillain prison.

And whoops Hank Pym is one now, at least according to the law. What with being caught with all that stolen adamantium and the mind control prosthetic arm.

Hank Pym: “It just doesn’t make sense! All I tried to do was redeem myself, but things just got out of control! Egghead’s responsible for this! He committed the crime I’m accused of -- and made sure I can’t prove it! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?”

Probably because you did do the crime and were caught in the act and you wouldn’t explain yourself fully afterward. Just saying.

Hank Pym: “Jan! That’s where it all went wrong! If I could get her back, everything would work out! I know it!”

Hank Hank Hank... You’re suddenly a romantic.

A guard yells at Hank that its food time and then further yells that his son had looked up to Hank, which causes Hank to reflect whoops he let down more than just Jan and the Avengers.

When Hank sits down to eat prison chow, he’s accosted by Dave Cannon aka WHIRLWIND aka I guess Hank’s backup archnemesis?

Hank isn’t really spoiled for choice with good archnemeses so he either has Egghead or spin around real fast man.

At least Dave Cannon aka Whirlwind is trying to go for the personal lowblow. That’s a decent, if gross, archnemesis move.

He insinuates that hey if Jan divorced Hank that means Dave has a chance with her and he’s going to visit her as soon as he jailbreaks out of here today.

I’m sure he does have a chance. Like a snowball’s in hell, maybe.

Hank tells Dave to shut up because shut up, Dave.

But Dave ups the ante by suggesting that after Hank Pym gets out of jail in maybe ten or twenty years, he and Jan will hire Hank to be their chauffeur.

So Hank smashes a tray of food in Dave’s face because shut up, Dave.

He also starts punching him because in for a penny.

And because Hank totally started that ‘fight’ the guards haul Hank off for a month in solitary.

You wouldn’t think Hank’s life could get worse in every issue he appears in but you would be wrong.

And wouldn’t you know it? As soon as Hank is out of the room, the jailbreak starts without him.

He doesn’t even get to participate in activities now! Geez, Dave Cannon! You’re ruining prison for Hank.

Anyway, the mysterious figure from the Atlantis jailbreak scene is now jailbreaking Ryker’s and iiiiiits TIGER SHARK!

A guy I know almost nothing about!

-google- Ah, Namor foe. That explains him being a shark man.

He used to be an Olympic swimmer who injured his spinal cord when he rescued a drowning man. So a pretty good guy, starting off. Then to heal his spine he participated in an experimental procedure where Namor and tiger shark DNA was blended with his own and he became a shark man and an asshole.

I think that’s the Namor DNA personally. It makes people into jerks. And Namor is 100% Namor DNA so you can imagine what a jerk he is.

I’ve gotten lost in the weeds.

Tiger Shark busts in through a supposedly impregnable prison wall. The guards try to shoot him with ‘special weapons’ but Tiger Shark thwarts them with a special weapon of his own.

A TABLE!

Which he uses to block the shots and then hit them with.

They were fools to put their faith in high-falutin’ technology when they could have been investing in low-falutin’ carpentry.

That’s right, they should have gotten wooden guns.

With the guards tabled for now, Tiger Shark collects Scorpion and Whirlwind.

That’s two supervillains on his shopping list but there’s one more to get.

So the three detour over down to the women’s wing while the jailbreak of everyone else keeps the guards very busy.

And they find Dr. Karla Sofen, Ordinary Criminal Psychologist who got superpower from a space rock. Y’know, a Moonstone.

She has a few follow-up questions before she throws in with these goons but Tiger Shark isn’t a good conversationalist.

Tiger Shark: “You wanna get snuffed right here, lady?! Move! Negotiations are closed!”

She grudgingly accepts these terms. The caption box says so.

The four supervillains take a remote controlled escape boat and escape on a boat.

Later, in a safehouse on Long Island Sound, the four supervillains are all costumed up and already feeling cooped up with each other. It is a small house and they are all big personalities.

Tiger Shark and Whirlwind even get into a fight when Tiger Shark complains about waiting and about suburbia and Whirlwind tells him to shut up. And by fight I mean Tiger Shark smacks Whirlwind in the head. Because its Whirlwind.

Ant-Man’s backup archnemesis. And Tiger Shark fights Namor. Its a mismatch.

But its enough of a ‘fight’ to cause a stir.

Egghead: “Stop your silly squabbling! Fighting among yourselves won’t further my plans!”

Moonstone: “Wha -- ?! Egghead?!”

Tiger Shark: “What’s an Egghead?”

Hah.

I don’t know why this exchange amuses me so much.

Egghead is perfectly happy to introduce himself slash ramble on and on with words words words. He is PERHAPS the world’s greatest genius (hahahahah noooo) but says he may find a cure to Tiger Shark’s “repugnant amphibious condition.”

Egghead: “If you all follow me without question, you’ll share in my forthcoming power and wealth! In addition to being bodyguards, you’ll perform various tasks for me -- beginning tonight, when you loot a certain Manhattan medical research center to obtain data and supplies! Cross me -- and no one will ever hear from you again!”

I’ll make fun of Egghead any day of the week but I’ll give him this. He evidently delivers this speech with such conviction that ‘shark man who fights Namor’ just nods and apparently thinks yes this sounds legit.

And lets be honest, between Whirlwind, Scorpion, Moonstone, and Tiger Shark none of them look at this eggheaded guy threatening them and think about trying something.

Egghead appoints Moonstone his deputy and team leader. Because, he says, she’s such a well-trained follower.

Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

So, Dr. Karla Sofen first appeared as a henchwoman to Dr. Faustus.

But then she tricked the original Moonstone into giving the moonstone to her and became the new Moonstone. And here I didn’t even know there was an original Moonstone.

My point being, yes, early on you might look at Moonstone’s history and think ‘yes she’s definitely a subordinate person who won’t give me trouble’ but from a modern perspective?

I know Modern Moonstone for basically being the Starscream of whatever team she’s on. Starting from Thunderbolts at least, she’s never the boss, she’s happy being the deputy but she’s always scheming and manipulating and undermining her boss.

I really want this to be a hilariously bad judge of character Egghead has made. I really do.

Meanwhile, Whirlwind thinks that he’ll play along with Egghead’s plans. Until he gets bored.

And then I guess he gets bored like five seconds later because he decides that since the job Egghead wants them to do isn’t until evening, he can go visit Wasp.

And yeah. We scene transition to Avengers Mansion and Whirlwind is just lurking in the bushes spying on Wasp’s limo.

Inside the mansion, with the Avengers’ meeting over, the Avengers all get ready to go about the rest of their business.

Hawkeye saying he has to get home gets She-Hulk to start musing on how she hasn’t had a real home since she left Los Angeles.

Which she did for... reasons? She seemed like she was going to stay in LA at the end of her original Savage She-Hulk book. She probably did it so she could do crossovers. That makes sense.

Wasp tells She-Hulk that since Tony doesn’t charge rent, She-Hulk can just stay at Avengers Mansion for a while. And in a couple days, she’ll take She-Hulk apartment hunting.

Wasp is a good friend.

She heads out to her limo and tells Mr. Carrothers to take her to her Manhattan apartment.

BUT WHOOPS iiiiiiiiiits Whirlwind!

He knocked out Mr. Carrothers over the head and stashed him in the bushes. Wow, being Wasp’s chauffeur is very eventful.

Whirlwind: “Forget him. I’m the man in your life now! I figure with your ex in the slammer, you’re gonna need an understanding shoulder to lean on -- .”

And then Wasp shrinks down and shoots Whirlwind in the face.

Wasp: “That’s awfully considerate of you. But next time send flowers first, okay? By the way, have you ever met me bio-electric sting?”

Get rekt, Whirlwind.

This has been a really good span of issues for Wasp. I’m boggling a little. My standards weren’t super high to be honest but this has been good.

I mean, aside from her wearing her Avengers #194-196 costume again. The one with only one pant leg. Of all your costumes to wear under normal clothes, why this one, Jan?

Outside the limo, Hawkeye is trying to sneak back into the mansion to raid the pantry and hoping everyone else has gone.

Because he doesn’t want them to know that two-jobs Hawkeye is having money trouble, I guess? But dude, just confide in Jarvis. He’s a good guy.

Anyway, point being, because of Hawkeye’s hungry little tummy, he sneaks back to the mansion in time to see flashes of energy from inside Jan’s limo.

Hawkeye runs to Jan’s rescue and instantly gets blasted by Moonstone who has just arrived to yell at Whirlwind for taking off without her permission.

Whirlwind says he doesn’t have to answer to Moonstone and a presumably very frustrated Moonstone answers yes he does, that is the very thing he has agreed to when he joined the new Masters of Evil!

I feel maybe announcing loudly that you are the new Masters of Evil right in front of the Avengers is kind of jumping the gun.

Not to mention having the whole time show up to pose like a team just to pull Whirlwind’s butt out of the fire but like I said, this isn’t a very impressive seeming iteration of the Masters.

They do have this much, at least. Hawkeye recognizes each one of these bozos (muffled foghorns from Titan Up the Defense way) and recognizes that he and Wasp are outpowered in addition to being outnumbered.

Reinforced by Tiger Shark just smacking Wasp out of the air.

I think her one legged outfit is slowing her down.

So Hawkeye fires a flare arrow to try to summon help.

Remember when the Avengers had radio rings? That’d probably be a less obvious way to signal for help. Because Moonstone sees Hawkeye shoot a flare arrow that LIGHTS UP THE AREA and shoots him for sending up a signal.

And then she turns to the others and goes “Why didn’t you blunderers stop him?”

Its a good point. Tiger Shark points out though that she didn’t stop him either.

Again: not a very impressive iteration of the team.

Whirlwind, trying to put on the pragmatic hat way too late, says that they should kill Hawkeye and skedaddle because fighting in front of Avengers Mansion makes him nervous.

But he’s still Whirlwind so he’s still gross so he thinks to himself that he wants to grab Wasp before they go.

And what, dude? You gonna keep her under your bed? WHATS YOUR CREEPY ENDGAME?

On second thought, I don’t want to know. Geez, this is awful but I’m glad that Wasp died in Ultimate comics before an exceptionally creepy Ultimate Whirlwind could show up and keep her in a well or something.

Hey, maybe if we tell Whirlwind that Living Laser is also obsessed with Wasp, the two will fight to the death and I won’t have to deal with either one!

Anyway. Off-track. Anyway.

With a sound of thunder, a Perfectly Ordinary Uru Hammer THOOMs by smacking every villain before returning to Thor’s hand.

Yeah, fighting in front of Avengers Mansion? Really dumb!

Thor: “Stand back, perfidious mortals, or face the wrath of Thor!”

Wasp: “Huh? Thor! I always thought you were handsome -- but you never looked better than you do now!”

Thor: “Fair Wasp, thou art safe in my hands!”

Wasp: (Mmmm! Don’t I wish!)

Well, you’re free to play the field now, Wasp. Go for it.

Meanwhile, over in Avengers Mansion, She-Hulk hears the racket and gets up from her nap to see a supervillain battle taking place on the street in front of the Mansion and just kind of sighs about New York being like this.

Again again: fighting in front of Avengers Mansion? REALLY DUMB!

Moonstone even realizes it.

Moonstone: “This is insane -- wasting our energy battling the Avengers for nothing!  We’ve got to end this fight and escape!”

She tells Scorpion to take Thor which either shows a high esteem of him or a very low regard. Either way, Scorpion is happy to try, tail-whipping Thor through the air.

Inside the mansion, She-Hulk decides that the only way to get some peace and quiet is to throw hands. Side benefit: she’ll also get to prove herself to the Avengers.

But I like that the primary reason is that she just wants to have a dang nap and this nonsense is preventing it.

So she OH YEAHs through the window because heck Tony Stark will pay to fix it and runs towards the battle.

Haha look at that tiny alarmed Jarvis in the window. I love that kind of background detail. Amazing.

Wasp takes a break from, I dunno fantasizing about Thor, to fly over in a panic.

Wasp: “Oh, no! That outfit is an original! Tear it -- and I’ll never speak to you again!”

She sure has her priorities. I think maybe she doesn’t think these new Masters of Evil are all that threatening.

Maybe she shouldn’t be so worried though. She-Hulk just jumped through a glass window and the outfit looks untouched.

She-Hulk: “You can’t be serious?! You are. Ohhh... fudge! This is ridiculous!”

She definitely had to stop herself from saying an f-bomb.

So She-Hulk stops running to help Thor and sits down to start pulling the Van Dyne Original outfit off so Wasp won’t friend break up with her.

I’m sure Thor is doing fine though.

Ha ha, just kidding.

Moondragon is keeping him pinned down with her laser blasts and Tiger Shark hits him with something almost as powerful as TABLE.

A CAR.

Tiger Shark: “That Avenger creep thinks he’s the strongest there is. Me, I can withstand the pressures of the ocean’s floor without breathing hard. So when you’re talking strength -- you’re talking Tiger Shark!”

Hey, cool! Its the same thing writers use to argue Aquaman Strong Actually. I wonder if this actually predates that. It’d be funny if Tiger Shark preempted Aquaman in anything.

Wasp (while blasting Scorpion in his Scorpion neck) asks Thor if he’s okay but I think Thor is more annoyed than endangered by being ganged up on by the villains.

Thor: “Aye, the villain’s cowardly attack availed him naught against the might of Thor! I would see this battle ended!”

Tiger Shark basically says ‘nuh uh’ or “Together we can turn him into hamburger!” but then someone punches Tiger Shark from behind and knocks him out.

Scorpion: “Who in -- ? Some chick from Frederick’s of Hollywood?”

She-Hulk: “Don’t tell me you don’t know who I am! I don’t want to hear it!”

So, yeah, She-Hulk has arrived. In her underwear. So she doesn’t offend Wasp.

I guess after the Moondragon arc, Wasp is paying forward the wardrobe embarrassments.

Very rude, Jan.

Hawkeye is also up and raring to arrow. And he nails Whirlwind with said shock arrow annnd knocks him out.

Yup, this is the part of the book where we’re running out of pages so the villains start going down really easy.

Next, Wasp shoots Moonstone and She-Hulk multi-tasks by punching Moonstone into Scorpion and knocking both of them out.

Which means that She-Hulk is MVP of this fight. She arrives the latest but knocks out the most people. Good job, She-Hulk. Even Hawkeye admits that she did pretty good (qualified with “for a beginner!” which She-Hulk just laughs off.)

Meanwhile, in his hidden laboratory, Egghead is thinking that you can’t get good help these days.

Egghead: “Fools! We would have destroyed the Avengers eventually! There was no need to upset my timetable!”

But its only a minor setback and he considers that this stomp may leave them more willing to see that his ideas are best ideas.

I really hope that everyone pins the blame on Whirlwind when Egghead inevitably has to break them out of prison again to assemble his Masters of Evil again.

Hm, and I didn’t wonder this before but why Masters of Evil as a team name? He has no connection with any of the previous iterations, I don’t think. Weird.

Back at the mansion, the Avengers stand around being pretty pleased with themselves for beating up a bunch of people who attacked them for no reason and sucked at it.

The only sour note is that Wasp lost yet another limo (to Tiger Shark’s deadly CAR attack) but even then she says she was ready to trade it in on a DeLorean anyway.

Wait, aren’t DeLoreans known for having disappointing performance for a car and adequate performance as a time machine? Wasp, why are you getting a DeLorean, you kook!

She-Hulk, who sold her dignity to keep Jan’s friendship, suggests that the two of them go looking for new cars together.

OH RIGHT. Issue started with She-Hulk’s poor lamented pink Cadillac being junked. That’s bookends, it is. They’re the Sisterhood of the Broken Cars now.

So a very decent story!

Stuff is being setup with Egghead, the Hank Pym plot thread is still going, and we’ve got a new Avengers roster to settle into.

Although. Between the Moondragon arc and this, I’m wondering if clothing mishaps is going to be a running joke going forward and I hope not. Or at least let the guys in on it. Let Thor get locked out of the house in his underwear. It is only fair.

To the readers, if not the characters.

Although, I guess that is kind of what happened in the Molecule Man story. Tony Stark stuck in only his underwear and had to wear Ordinary Doctor Donald Blake’s jacket around his waist.

Not much more to say about this. Its a solid issue.

Follow @essential-avengers​. Because: reasons. Also like and reblog. Because: similar but different reasons. Selling myself is hard.

[fics-not-tragedies]

In a Week: Chapter 2 🌲

I know that there aren’t many people interested in this fic, but honestly this will be going on for some time, because it’s my favorite idea! Also I forgot to post it yesterday, oops...

Words: 3060; Warnings: none, unless you want another warning for alcohol drinking, then you have it; Summary: Flo meets Andrew who decides to keep her occupied with his presence through the whole week.

Hozier tag list:

@letoursilencebreaktonight​​​​​; @angelpeachamber​​​​​; @sgt-morgan​​​​​; @julessbrown​​​​​;

Sunday, 11:05pm

After ordering two Malibus, desperately trying not to down them before he even had the chance to ask her about her name, Andrew pulled the chair back and sat down, sliding the glass across the table to her, his hand longing on it, hoping she’d brush her fingers against his skin.

There was something about this girl, the way her impossibly green eyes lit up whenever she looked in his direction that made him want to give her anything she could possibly want. She wrapped her fingertips around the bottom part of the glass, purposely avoiding his hand and pulled it closer to her.

He cleared his throat, suddenly becoming aware of the silence that had been building between them since he sat, but before he could form something clever or witty, he simply spat out the most obvious question that had been circulating since he first caught her gaze.

“What’s your name?” He asked slowly, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a sip.

“Flo” she replied quickly. Andrew nodded, toying with the word in his mind before deciding that it absolutely suited her. He had a thing for noting when people didn’t suit their names but Flo unquestionably did. It was strong, bold and gorgeous and he practiced saying it out loud, enjoying the way it rolled off his tongue.

“Technically it’s Florence” she smiled watching his narrow lips, her cheeks blushing slightly, but she held her chin high, determined to keep her confidence she was still trying to work on, “but I prefer to be called Flo.”

“It’s still a great name” he announced, sinking further into his seat and fixing his eyes on her. There was an ease, an instant softness to the way they spoke to each other despite the overly long pauses.

“Thank you” she said with a shy smile, tucking strands of straw blonde hair behind her ears.

Andrew was mesmerized by the movement of her small hands, the slim gold jewelry that decorated her fingers, her black painted nails.

“Do you have a name?” She asked, feeling utterly ridiculous at the way she phrased it.

Stop trying to be cool.

Andrew squinted at her a little, as if he was trying to work something out, but replied after a second.

“Andrew. Andrew, Andy. You can call me any name that you think suits me.”

“I like them all. Can’t I pick them all?”

“If you want to” he chuckled and they both took their drinks into their hands, silently sipping for a moment or two. The record changed and he looked in the record player’s direction as she tried to figure out what tune is being played now. When she turned back to face him he was grinning from ear to ear, his long hair messy as he ran his hand through it again, wide grin on his face. She smiled back helplessly, “What do you do, honey?” he asked, his lips pressed into the edge of the glass.

“What do I do?”

“Yeah, em… for work and everything that includes” he continued, placing his drink onto the table, pressing his hands together, as he explained himself.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, her face bright, “I’m the head of IT department in a big company. Big office. Big desk. Got one of those spiny chairs too” Andrew was amused by the way she wiggled her finger to explain the movement of her chair. Flo usually held back from talking about her job, men were usually intimidated by her success, but Andrew was different, seemed to understand her even though they just met, “What do you do?”

“What do I do?” He replied quickly, pausing from taking another sip.

So she didn’t know. What a relief.

“Yeah?” He tilted his head and bit the inside of his lip, thinking, glancing away for a moment. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had to explain this. Everywhere he went, people just knew him. But not this girl, this girl was different. Just being himself wouldn’t cut it this time. She was a challenge. And that was exciting.

“I’m a musician and I’m in a band.”

“You are?” She answered quickly, her eyes squinting with excitement at his confession, the vague familiarity of his face striking her again, “That’s so cool! I’d love to hear some of your tunes” he watched as she lean forward enthusiastically, her hair falling over shoulders, soft like honey.

Andrew was obsessed, bewitched, mesmerized by her every move. Not only was she dazzling in every way, she was oblivious to who he was, completely unfazed by it all and it was magical. A complete fantasy. A clean slate.

“Em… perhaps. I don’t usually play my music…”

“Oh why not!” She pouted, “Not even for me?” even the way her lips formed words delighted him. He swallowed sharply, trying to focus on what she was saying. What was she saying? He was lost.

“We will see” he replied with a shrug, though he already knew he would do anything she wanted him to.

“What do you play?” She continued adamantly and he laughed, hoping they would move on from the topic, but she seemed genuinely interested in him as he was in her and she was clearly not going to give up without a fight.

“Are we still talking about… em… me?”

“Yes” she replied confidently, batting her long lashes in his direction.

“The guitar, piano… and… em… other stuff. I do the singing as well.”

“Ooh… I always wanted to learn to play the guitar, but never really had the chance to start it” she grinned and nodded to the direction of the music, “Promise me you’ll play me something on the piano! I noticed it in the ballroom as I walked here.”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Andrew” she warned, winking at him. He exhaled sharply and smiled, all warm and intoxicated.

“Never do” Andrew took another mouthful of his Malibu and tried to keep his eyes from wandering over Flo’s body, “I’m here for the whole week” he stated.

“Good” she replied sharply, the thought of a whole week with this man beginning to excite her beyond any rational explanation, “Me too.”

“Why are you here Flo? Em… are you running away from something, honey?”

“How did you worked out that one?” She replied, a slight panic in her voice. Was she really that easy to read? She pushed a few loose strands of hair from her eyes, not used to feeling so vulnerable.

“Well…” he mumbled, lowering his voice and leaning across the table slightly, “I was only guessing, but em… now I know I was right somehow.”

“Maybe I just needed to get away for the week?” She replied, crossing her arms on her chest, unintentionally drawing more attention to it.

“But why did you needed to get away for the week?” He continued teasingly, pointing his finger and raising one eyebrow before taking another sip from his glass which was nearing empty, “That the em… main question now.”

Flo glanced down at her own glass, realizing that she already had more than she  planned to drink tonight, she was nearly three cocktails down. She swirled her finger over the edge of her glass. Then she moved her eyes back to his, the warmness of his eyes making her toes curl and found herself spilling all her secrets without hesitation.

“Well if you must know, uh… I just needed to take a break from everything” there was an obvious crack to her voice that which Andrew couldn’t help but find endearing, even though he embarrassingly wanted to comfort her. He had to slow down on the drink, “I have to rethink my life and perhaps start something new.”

“Oh yes, em… I get that” he sighed, gritting his teeth, “I’m sorry to hear that.” though the perfect stranger opposite her was nothing but a perfect stranger, she knew he was being genuine, that he really was sorry. His eyebrows pulled in and he pulled the softness expression she has ever seen, then like a perfect contradiction he added… “Life sometimes gets too fucked up.”

“Yeah…” she mumbled into her drink, taking another huge sip of it.

The issues and problems mixed together. The loneliness. The way her heart was ripped out of her chest many years ago. Everything that had lead her to this very moment.

Andrew’s voice broke her from her trance, “You’re still on this planet with me, honey?” He waved his hand in her face goofily and she blinked herself back to the room. First the beautiful record sounds, then the stunning vintage decor, then him.

“Yes. Sorry. I’m here.” Flo tipped the remnants of her glass back, savoring the taste of the liquor in her throat and patted her lips dry.

“Look, Lo” he began, scratching his nose and she giggled instinctively at her new nickname, “Em… can I call you Lo?” She nodded in response, “I know you’re feeling absolutely shitty now, but I think em… I think I have em… a plan.”

“Great, because I have no plan.”

“How about we em… spend the whole week together. I can take you for long walks in the woods if the weather gets better and em… I’ll try my best to make you feel better. Even if I had to play the piano for the whole fucking night.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t…”

“Never do” he repeated, cutting her off with a wild grin before she could finish the sentence. He stared her down, his round muddy green eyes unblinking, somehow soft and sexy at the same time, “Well?”

She pursed her lips, weighing the options. Three scenarios were crystal clear in her mind.

Scenario one was an awkward, drunken one night stand which they’d both regret in the morning.

Scenario two was that one of them would make advances on the other and they would argue explosively about it.

And scenario three was that they would spend the weekend simply enjoying each other’s company, until another Monday afternoon comes and they’d never speak again.

She couldn’t decide which sounded best in her head. Unable to determine what she really wanted from her week away from reality, she looked momentarily back to him, tilting her head. She was unable to keep the smile from stretching across her lips when he wiggled his eyebrows in her direction, smoothing his hair back. She shook her head and laughed.

“Fine. I’m in.”

“Another drink?” He asked, waving over a waiter before she even had a chance to reply.

Sunday, 11:25pm

“Surname?”

“Hozier Byrne.”

“Oooh, sexy” she laughed, the alcohol well and truly absorbed into her bloodstream now, “Wait a second… Hozier? Like… you sang that song about church?”

“Sadly I did… em… same question?” He replied, drumming his long fingers on the table, trying to keep his hand occupied.

“Hayes.”

“Flo Hayes…” he mused, rolling the name over in his deep drawl.

“Do you believe in miracles?” She asked, focused on learning as much as she could.

“Em, I think so. Like me being here with you is a miracle, somehow isn’t it?” He chuckled, the creases around his eyes more obvious than before, “Do you?”

“You can’t just ask the same question back every time, Andy” Flo replied, rolling her eyes.

“But you always ask good questions!” he pressed his finger to his temple for a moment, focusing his brain through the fogginess the drinking had brought on, “Do you like em… sleeping?”

“Do I like sleeping?!” Flo scoffed, “Yes. But come on you can do much better than that!”

“Oh Lo, I don’t know… em… you ever broke someone's heart?” Flo could tell he was proud of himself.

“That’s a good one! Probably my first boyfriend. We were 17 and I moved to another country never seeing him again.”

“He probably never got over you em… he probably wrote sad songs about you” Andrew proclaimed as he finished the last of another glass, his voice bold despite the fact he was beginning to slur. Flo was briefly aware of a nervous sensation building in her stomach but ignored it, having the next question prepared as a distraction.

“Okay, you ever wrote a song about your ex?”

“Uhhh…” he took final sip of his drink before placing the empty glass on the table with a loud thud, “Great amount of my songs are the ones about my exes… It’s the yearning for something you once had, but now it’s all lost.”

“The yearning” she repeated after him, before taking a sip from her glass. Before he could say anything else she threw another question at him, “What was your last text?”

He fumbled through his pants pockets to fish out his phone out of them. He tried to unlock it, but the drunken haze wasn’t helping him with dealing with electronic devices.

“Do you need help with it?” Flo asked.

Though he had genuinely been struggling, Andrew took this perfect opportunity to drag his chair closer to hers, so that his whole body was close to her, the table between them had been killing him. Suddenly her knee was against his and he tried not to notice, handing her his phone. She flipped her hair over her shoulder effortlessly and took it from him, her fingers almost brushing his.

Her neck was exposed to him now, pale and smooth and inviting and he inhaled a little too loudly, drunk instantly on her perfume. She was sweet and spicy all at once and he reeled in the uniqueness of it. If she had been a random girl at a random bar, he’d have made all of the moves by now. But there was something untouchable about Flo - he knew he had to work for that opportunity and he was more than happy to.

“Who’s Alex?” She asked seconds later, looking up at him and catching her breath in her throat, not used to him being this close.

“He’s my close friend. He’s in the band with me.”

“Mhm. So your last text was ‘miss you too’” Andrew grinned awkwardly, taking his phone back, only half embarrassed.

“It’s your turn” Flo chuckled.

“Emmm” Andrew licked his lips absent-minded, silently craving a cigarette, even though he knew he shouldn’t be getting into smoking again, determined to drag it out as long as possible so he could stay with her, “Would you rather go to the outer space or… or dive to the bottom of a bog?”

“Easy” she declared, clapping her hands together, “Space. It’s so fascinating and beautiful. All of those stars and colors… And I hate bogs. Too many germs.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have to touch the bog water, you’d in a bog submarine” she giggled a little at his words.

“Bog submarine sounds really interesting, but the stars are much prettier Andrew” she added, “Don’t you think?”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay, Andrew. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?”

“Lots of alarms. So many of them that my phone once scolded me for having too many… emm… good cup of tea, toasts and my dog.”

“So you’re single?” Flo blurted, her mouth outrunning her brain for once. Apparently she wasn’t even trying to be cool anymore, “Except for the dog of course” she added with a large smile on her face.

“A good boyfriend would be sat here, on my chair, right next to you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she laughed, the corners of her full lips twisted upwards. Andrew cleared his throat.

“You’re pretty… em… and I hope you’re aware of it.”

“Oh shhh…” she waved him off, her cheeks unusually hot, before adding a quiet: “thank you.”

“So you agree with me?” He purred, his lips parted as if waiting for something. He couldn’t remember the last time a girl had actually accepted his compliment and it was so refreshing, her self-assured nature making him somehow more eager to please.

“Am I not allowed to agree?”

“Of course you can agree. Don’t think anybody could disagree” Andrew and Flo locked eyes for a moment obviously too long, each of them scared to be the first to turn away. Eventually Andrew broke away, consumed by her intensity, devastated that his glass was empty, instead occupying himself with the search for his lighter.

“Is it my turn?” She asked, finishing the leftovers of her fourth? Or was it the fifth? cocktail to divert her mind from wandering further into the ridiculously gorgeous way he smelt.

“No, em… you already asked your question, honey.”

“I did?”

“Em… yes… em… you asked if I was single.”

“Right” she nodded, nonchalantly pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

“I need a cigarette” Andrew announced at last, convinced he couldn’t sit here and be tortured by her for a moment longer.

“Need?”

“Quite desperate need” she was unsure whether he was talking about the cigarette or her now, Andrew pulled a cigarette from his packet and balanced it between his lips. The movement was so slick, so rehearsed. Flo wondered how many girls had watched him make exactly the same move. She shuffled in her chair uncomfortably as he stood and did up the button on the front of his red flannel shirt.

“Okay. I’ll…”

“You’re going with me, yes?” He asked plainly, more of a statement than a question, his palm outstretched to pull her up.

Andrew swallowed and she watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat, enchanted by the fluffiness of his beard, the softness of his skin.

How could she ever say no to him? She reached out for him and he couldn’t help but stroke down her wrist, taking the tips of her fingers in his, the simple touch enough to make her light-headed. He pulled her up with ease, stroking her palm with his thumb as he reluctantly let go.

Andrew was relieved to have at last touched her, knowing he could now die happy just having done that but he was heartbroken to let go once she was standing. She exhaled sharply, her eyes glowing an unrivaled green under the vintage bulbs, a delicate smile stretched on her face.

“You ever broke someone's heart?” he asked her before. Fuck, if she didn’t break his every time she smiled at him like that.

[funkymbtifiction]

hey charity, can you describe in depth why you mistyped as ISFJ, and found your true type of ENFP (what lead you to it, does it feel like the one, etc). also what do you score on function tests?

Sure. You should know I blame my Enneagram 6 for… like, all of it.

I came on the scene assuming I was an ENFP right from the start, but that’s before I was introduced to all the stereotypes which focus on behavior and not mental processing. I thought the general profiles of the ENFP fit me really well – but then I started getting doubts because… honestly, I don’t just leap into things without looking or thinking about them first; I have not hopped on a plane to a foreign country and gone off to do exciting things without a safety net; I do not move apartments or change boyfriends every 4 months out of boredom; I can finish whatever books I start writing, without getting distracted and leaving a lifetime of half-finished tasks behind me; and I use my Ne for more than just idealism. At the time I knew nothing about Enneagram, nor that all of the above is Ne-dom + Enneagram 7 (with an sx variant of idealism). Plus, my 6 is anxious about the future to some extent, and I had read about inferior Ne being anxious about the future.

So, that threw me off a lot. I had a long list of what I didn’t realize at the time were blatant stereotypes to compare my behavior to, and coz I’m a head type / 6 it didn’t match. No one explained to me that it’s how you think, not what you do, that determines your type. So I had to resign myself to likely not being an ENFP, and because I’m somewhat introverted, that narrowed down my options (I assumed I had therefore to be IXFX). I kept reading… and found a bunch more stereotypes, especially of the “Fe is unselfish, and Fi is selfish and rude and uncaring” variety. I looked at Fi characters and saw a trait of stubbornness and selfishness I could not relate to and I had a strong reaction to of dislike. I am an agreeable person who spends a lot of time concerned with how she makes other people feel and goes along with them to keep them happy. I make decisions based on how I think they’re going to feel – so since I wasn’t some clueless and totally self-absorbed person, I obviously had to use Fe, right? (I’m ashamed of how I used to see Fi. And those “Fe is the nice one” stereotypes sadden me.)

Again, I never at that time ran across anything that explained how Fe is a social organizer and thinks in terms of “us” and “we” (the collective) which would have helped me realize – that’s not what I do. I actually have an adverse reaction to that sort of thing. No one told me Fi’s feelings are abstract and hard to tell other people about; if they had, I would have connected to it, since I have had people ask me how I’m feeling and I just stare at them in confusion, unable to articulate it because it’s all… impressions in my head. Abstract. And often out of sync with what people expect me to feel. I once had someone express to me, “Oh, I’m so sorry you didn’t grow up close to your sisters, how sad.” And I was like, “Why is it sad? I don’t care that we weren’t close. Should I care that we weren’t close? Why would you assume I’d care? And why would you express sadness over it? Because people are supposed to be close to their sisters? But why would you be close to them if you have nothing in common and no attachment to them?”

Because I quickly identified Ne in myself (THAT at least rang true – the “getting ideas outside yourself” has always been blatantly obvious to me, about me) and was going off stereotypes, I concluded (rather unhappily, I might add) that I had to be ISFJ. And, as you probably know, I stuck with it for a long time.

Several people pointed out to me that I used way, way more Ne than an ISFJ. I just reasoned that my dad was an intuitive and it rubbed off on me (cute… but that’s not how it works, not the focused, reading-between-the-lines, operating-on-hunches Ne that I use). A few other strangers around tumblr suggested to me I came across as a Te user, due to my straightforward / directive style, in which I discard any pretense of niceties and just answer questions by focusing on what’s being asked and giving an answer (no Fe “sugar coating” – I often read back over stuff later and go, “Oh yeah, I guess I could have been less blunt and less detached and more warm and personal… oops”). I assumed they had to be wrong, because I finish things and ENFPs don’t. Stupid, I know.

But ISFJ never quite fit. I left bait in ISFJ forums to entice them into abstract conversations that went ignored. I looked at my ISFJ (confirmed) best friend and could see NOTHING similar in us, from how we communicated, thought, felt, and reacted to our overall tastes and interests. And frankly, when I said I shared her type, her eyebrows shot up into her hairline and my parents died laughing. None of them knew what type I was, but it “sure as hell isn’t ISFJ.”

And then came two intense discussions over about a week that forced me to toss out ISFJ altogether and start over. In the first, an INTJ I’d met through this tumblr and had been talking to / corresponding with for a few months pointed out that our Te thinking process was similar; our conclusions were similar; my reasoning was similar to hers, as was my Fi tendency to think people are all responsible for their own emotional states. So, that threw me for a loop. Then another NF friend had a five hour argument with me in which she insisted I had to be an intuitive and came up with evidence of how fast my brain switches gears, how often I am abstracting away from things (as an example, someone dies in a movie and I cry, not because the character is dead but because I’m thinking about death / loss abstractly), and how fast I can think on my feet and discard my own ideas, and how often I contradict myself.

I finally just accepted it, tentatively and with anxiety, since I was still hounded by the 98 ways I do NOT fit the ENFP stereotype. Learning my Enneagram has helped that anxiety fade, but I still wonder if I got it right sometimes. Looking back, I can see where I screwed myself over from recognizing my cognition sooner because of my 6w7 tendency to trust / seek other people’s opinions and automatically suspect, “Well, they probably have more information / knowledge than I do… so even though it feels kind of wrong, I guess I’ll run with their idea?” Ne-dom tendency to latch onto other people’s notions even if they’re thin. If this person is married to a (7 core) ENFP who never finishes things… and I finish what I start and and steadily work at it until it’s done… then I guess I can’t be an ENFP because this person must know what they’re talking about... (Typical immature tert-Te – lose patience, just wants an answer, grabs onto one example and assumes it creates a base pattern, rushes to a conclusion that doesn’t fit, and then tries to figure out WHY this feels off.)

You ask if it feels right. Not always but I’m learning that’s owing to my tritype. My 6 finds it hard to let go of the four people out there who still think I’m an SFJ. I have anxiety about it from time to time, wondering if I’m misleading everyone, until I remember how bad I am at anything Si-related and how easy it is for me to abstract away from an object, and then I feel weirdly comforted / secure again.

Function tests. The Socionics one always gives me ENFp or INFj (INFP). I tend to baffle the similarminds test, since I get similar to these results (current):

Te (Extroverted Thinking) (70%) your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

Ti (Introverted Thinking) (30%) your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (70%) your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

Ni (Introverted Intuition) (50%) your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity

Se (Extroverted Sensing) (15%) your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

Si (Introverted Sensing) (35%) your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (65%) your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

Fi (Introverted Feeling) (65%) your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 based on your results your type is likely - unclear

HAHAHAHA.

If you’re asking me this, to try and find your type, drop all the stereotypes about the types and focus on how your brain works. Remember to factor in your core Enneagram type and think about how that might impact your dominant function. I can see clearly how 6 shapes my Ne and has strengthened my Te. It holds back my Ne in some respects (it’s like… I operate on Ne but am anxious about my N conclusions without Te finding proof), and between 6 and 1, focuses it intently; but I am still prone to leaping on ideas half-baked and running with them, since I am not always great at objectively ruling them out (which also made it hard to find my type)… which is high Ne, not low Ne. And then there’s the fact that I shock most people when I honestly say I can’t remember 95% of my childhood, much less what I just read. I realized the other day my grandparents have all been dead for over 5 years. I honestly could not have told you how long they’ve been gone – in some ways, it feels like last summer and in others, like a lifetime ago. THAT is how bad I am with actual details, even on things that matter to me. My Si basically hangs out, stressing over forgetting things / practical details and gets nit-picky about DID NO ONE NOTICE THAT’S FORMATTED WRONG?

- ENFP Mod.

[oiveyzmir]

My SOC Dream Cast!!

Okay so @anon who told me to post my list thanks!!!! I hope it doesn't suck

All of those castings are my personal opinions idk, if you think some of those don't fit pleaseeee reply with your ideas that would be HELLA cool!!!!!

Soooo there we go!!! I searched for actors who are 23 or younger for the sake of authenticity

(I can't add a jump on mobile, I hope I'll remember to add one later oops)

Kaz Brekker

Name: Quinn Lord

Age: 19

Where have you seen him: The Man in the High Castle, OUAT, Deadman Standing

Why do I like him as Kaz: The thing that bothered me most about Kaz's fan castings was the fact he'd always looked like an intimidating 25+ years old dude who you'd be afraid to be stuck alone in an alley with in the middle of the night. While Kaz himself is indeed very much intimidating, the thing that is most fearsome about him is his attitude and actions, not looks. All in all, Kaz is literally a child, and imo he should definitely look like one. I personally felt like Kaz's looks shouldn't be extremely intimidating, so the shock you feel when he literally takes someone's eyeballs out or kills people coldheartedly (is that a word? My English is broken) will be greater. Quinn Lord is just that; he looks sweet (and REAL good in a suit), he's generally a cool dude and thinking about him doing the things Kaz is doing makes me shiver but in the best way possible, because of that contradiction.

Inej Ghafa

Name: Yadira Guevara Prip

Age: idk? Around 23 according to my terrible math

Where have you seen her: Supernatural, Star Trek: Short Treks

Why do I like her as Inej: Inej is one of my favorite book characters ever, for her overall ~vibe~ and badassery (again, not an actual word, English sucks). Finding someone who radiates the same energy Inej does was pretty tough, but I truly believe Yadira fits perfectly. In Supernatural, she proved she's an INCREDIBLE actress, who definitely knows her way around knives and swords. I can't put my finger on why she gives me such an Inej vibe, but I can totally see her killing this role. Plus, I Am In Love With Yadira Guevara Prip™ (+the picture I added is a bit old so now her hair is longer, which means the iconic Inej braid is still very much possible!!!)

Jesper Fahey

Name: Coy Stewart

Age: 20

Where have you seen him: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, Bella and the Bulldogs

Why do I like him as Jasper: Confession time- I haven't watched AoS yet, only due to my laziness. HOWEVER, being a twelve year old in my soul, obviously I watched a Nick show about a girl wanting to be QB in her school's football team. Coy was absolutely killing it there, mostly because his comic timing is HELLA good. Like, reaalllyyyy good. A character like Jasper, who is responsible for the funniest moments but is still a round character who has tons of conflicts and drama within himself, requires an actor who can be hilarious but can also do dramatic parts and show tons of emotion without too many words, which Coy does perfectly.

Wylan Van Eck

Name: Levi Miller

Age: 16

Where have you seen him: Pan, Better Watch Out, Wrinkle in Time

Why do I like him as Wylan: Long story short, I love Wylan. Long story long, Wylan is described as an actual sunshine of a kid, with bright curls and blue eyes and an innocent look, and Levi Miller is just that. He's adorable, and seems like he wouldn't-but-probably-would play a flute and bomb stuff, and I honestly like his stupid face. He just gives me the same general feeling of 😍😍😍 I have when I think of Wylan

Nina Zenik

Name: Ariel Winter

Age: 20

Where have you seen her: Modern Family

Why do I like her as Nina: Okay, this is probably the one I'm least confident about, but hear me out. To me, the best thing about Nina is her ability to enter a busy room and have every single eye drawn in her direction. She's radiating charisma and confidence, and she's truly hypnotizing. That's the same feeling I personally get whenever I think of Ariel Winter, she just has that energy that makes everyone stop and watch her, which is what makes Nina so special. Ariel is a good actress, and I think she'll make a wonderful Nina.

I still don't seem to find a Matthias and a Kuwei I like and who are in the right ages, so if you have any kind of ideas, please please please hmu!!!!

[kanene-yaaay]

For the sentence starter;

“Gee these covers are lumpy, better fix the covers up!”

Ojiro and any other character of your choice?

"Gee, these covers are lumpy, better fix the covers up!" Mina wormed her hands under the giggly boy, fishing a loud shriek as she vibrated her thumb between his shoulder blades and her other hand squeezed his sides, resulting in a more desperate wiggling from her victim. "Squish, squish, squish the squirmy Ojiro to fix all the lumps!"

"I AHAHAM NOT A COHOHOVER!"

"Hmmm, I don't know if I am convinced," her eyes glinted when the blond arched his back and her hands immediately dashed to scratch his incredibly, horribly ticklish lower back. "I mean, why else would I find such a cute squeaky toy, oops, I mean, cover in my bed?" Bubbly squeals painted Ojiro's laughter almost as strong as the red that painted his cheeks as he shook his head, protesting.

"I ahaham not s-squeheheaky!" Mina's nails scribbled and grazed on his ribs, the quick, high pitched sounds that flied from his lips contradicting his own words. "That doesn't prove anything!" The tailed teenager managed to breath out before descending in belly laughter again.

His pink friend matched his laughter in response, slowing her silly tickly attack as tears began to form on the other's eyes, pinching and poking his tummy in order to keep the adorable giggles filling the air. The cute wiggles from him and his tail were a bonus, as well.

"Hard day?"

Ojiro nodded, a smile still plastered on his face.

"It was. Your behed is fluffyhihihi. Sorry fohohor intrudihihing."

She waved his worries off, "it's no problem! Just give me a warn next time so I won't lay on you again, okay?"

Ojiro snickered, remembering the scared screams from they both when a few minutes ago Mina decided to jump on her bed and didn't even realize the strange lump that was Ojiro sleeping under all the comforters and plushies.

"I will."

"Good." The pink haired girl then cracked her fingers, a dangerous smirk spreading on her face, probably an effect of being Bakugou's friend, and making goosebumps ran freely on Ojiro's spine.

"No no nohoho!" He shot his hands up in an a placating gesture, excited giggles already falling from his mouth. "I already agreed with you! Please!"

Mina pouted in faux empathy. "Sorry, friendo, but your squeaky squeaks and wiggly wiggley wiggles are just too much cute for me to not tickle you again!"

"Ihihi don't," a snort cut his sentence, "I don't dohoho any of that!" He says, in between his wiggles and squeaks.

"Well," She attacked his armpits, a blinding smile taking over her features as the other began to giggle and snicker non stop. "I am sure we can compromise, eventually."

[jazzypizzaz]

endgame spoilers

overall I liked it!  it was a fun event and (mostly) a fitting, definitive end to the original phase of Avengers.  it’s one of those finales that plays enough fanservice and callbacks to be satisfying, but also does everything it needs to do to tie up narrative arcs with some twists along the way.  like, it’s not a movie I’d rewatch a bunch, but I’m glad it played out how it did for the most part

with the exception of NATASHA!!!  listen, literally any of the characters would do the heroic self-sacrifice to save everyone, and the narrative could justify it as a fitting end for their arc. whatever it takes and all that... but Natasha, unlike Tony -- had only the Avengers as her family and nothing else to live for apparently, had red in her ledger and did it to repay a debt, couldn’t have kids (*deep sigh*) and decided that made Clint’s life more worthwhile....... and you know what FUCK all of that.  no fucking way does any of that mean that she’s better off dead and none of those are good enough reasons for her end. what the FUCK

that said, (and yes I’m immediately contradicting myself) the only things I really wanted from this movie was a satisfying reason for Tony and Steve to never reappear in future movies (and you know that retiring happily into the sunset while still relatively young could never secure that) -- preferably with Tony to be the one to make the self-sacrifice hero play and for Steve to have a happy quiet life somehow.

idk it’s a superhero movie.  someone’s gotta do the big climatic hero move, and the entire arc has been building for Tony to do that.  and it wasn’t a cool-headed either/or choice, it wasn’t deliberately walking into death -- it was a split second decision in the heat of battle.  maybe that makes it different.  also, the greater narrative weight put on it

also maybe, as much as he’s a great character, I’m just tired of him. (oops)

& Steve, sure he could live a happy life rebuilding the world and chilling with his buds, but like... since the ice he’s always been a man out of time yearning for what could have been in his past (while always meeting the challenges of the day of course), he’s always felt misplaced and alone, and... I don’t begrudge him choosing to live a happy life and get that dance he promised Peggy.  

maybe it’s that tony deserves to be immemorialized as the ultimate hero that he is; & steve deserves some goddamn rest??

that said what the FUCKING FUCK is up with the time travel mechanics???

cuz you know that Steve “never followed a rule in his goddamn life if it didn’t suit him” Rogers wouldn’t live in obscurity not changing the timeline through: Hydra’s infiltration, Bucky’s brainwashing, more wars, the civil rights movement, every single social event in history, etc etc etc.  so like?? okay maybe changing the past makes it into a different timeline but then how did he wait for them on the bench as if his timeline connected to theirs ???

did ANY of their actions change the past of the current timeline??  like I think the answer is no it’s impossible, but then how do you explain Steve???

also who thought letting Steve be the one to return the stones was a good idea.  who gave Steve unbridled access to the past and thought he wouldn’t just fucking live there.  Bucky knew he would, I’m sure of it.  Natasha would have known (*shakes fist*).  Sam seems like he should have, I mean seriously??  it’s on Steve’s character sheet; he doesn’t do well with moving on.

HELL YEAH to captain america bird man Sam though. fuck yeah I’m here for it

okay other characters...

Ant Man was a breath of fresh air in the first part.  the perfect character to reappear into this dark timeline, give new hope, and react to all the weird space shit (I DIED at the taco scene, probably when I laughed the most).  I didn’t think I cared about him, but I was really touched by the Cassie scenes.

my favorite Rocket moment was him petting Paul Rudd’s head like a puppy.  yes please.  also, snapping some sense into Thor.  he had a bit part as expected, but it was good.

Hawkeye... stop trying to make Hawkeye happen. I just.... don’t care. and I could not stop sniggering at his hair long enough to feel sad about anything.

yes all the treatment of Thor’s weight gain and alcoholism was fucked up, played for cheap laughs, not all that funny.  but also like -- they’re clearly shown as manifestations of his corrosive guilt and trauma and self-harm, and by the end, he becomes the brave hero again without any sort of getting-into-shape losing weight montage scene.  it’s his perception of himself not his physicality. plus like, he’s the Goofy Avenger tbh and idk if there was a serious way to show him at a lower emotional low point than Infinity War without getting too dark for his brand(tm).  low standards on my part maybe? but whatever, he didn’t die.

Valkyrie HELL YEAH... I was so giddy about her flying around on the Pegasus.  where did she even get it???  I don’t care it was amazing.  all hail Valkyrie, King of Asgard.

actually??? wait. fuck that. Thor needs to accept responsibility and live up to being king of his people.  Valkyrie needs to go on kooky space adventures and find herself.  seriously!!

good for Bruce on the hulk integration thing, but I missed watching Mark Ruffalo’s human non-CGI face

Nebula, baby girl, you’ve come so far ;_; sorry you didn’t get put on airplane mode for the time travel, whooops.

the 100% best part of the movie for me, the only point at which I got chills, was (of course) Sam chiming in over Cap’s earpiece on your left and flying out of the wizard hole in a glowing swoop of glory. beautiful majestic bird man.

(and then the armies piling through after & Wakanda. yes.)

Wanda reappeared and I admit I totally forgot about her until that point.  and then I realized I also totally forgot about Vision until the end when she was talking to Hawkeye by the river jklsdfjkl. okay then

Carol just decided that she likes space more than Earth I guess? sure whatever.  great haircut though

also... New Asgard is in Norway, presumably, but it’s a sovereign kingdom???  what did they do when the Norwegian government stopped by??  paid for the land and said “look we’ve been through a lot so just let us fish and drink beer in peace. also, we’re the people from your myths and have inhuman stamina/strength/science so what, feasibly, are you gonna do about it anyway” I just want to see that conversation.

oh another thing. I wanted some resolution or cathartic followup to the themes in Infinity War -- killing the one to save many, trading lives, etc. which. this really didn’t do at all.  there wasn’t a consistent theme in the same way? idk I’ll have to think about it more, but for that reason alone IW is a much better movie imo

really excited about (As)guardians of the Galaxy, vol 3, Search for Gamora.  Rocket is going to be unbearable in the best way.

[futureparent]

Prompts

Some of these are original, some are from things I’ve seen in life. Feel free to use and repost!

These are in no particular order just how I came up with them and wrote them down.

Some of these contain swears

There are 167 of these just be warned. Sorry not sorry. Ignore the weird spacing, my computer is being weird.

1)     “I don’t exactly hate you but if you were on fire and I had a cup of water, I would drink it”

2)     (in response to getting injured) “You wound me. Literally. You just actually wounded me”

3)     “Oops?”

4)     “Shock me - say something intelligent”

5)     “I think you’ve mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck”

6)     “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, but I thought you already knew you were stupid”

7)     “What is this? Let’s get away with murder club”

8)     “Fight me!”

9)     “Isn’t your arm broken?” “Possibly”

10)  “Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”

11)  “It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself”

12)  “Are you clinically insane or just incredibly annoying?”

13)  “I feel like I got hit by a car”

14)  “So, why did I have to punch that guy?”

15)  “I hope you know my name is actually ...”

16)  “So, what if I broke my arm, I’m still doing it”

17)  “Ignore him, he’s just lonely”

18)  “I’m not cute and adorable, I’m terrifying and ferocious”

19)  “I warned you, I’m an asshole”

20)  “I am a five-foot one-inch ball of pure rage!”

21)  “Do the thing!”

22)  “Imma do the thing!” “Don’t do the thing” “I’m gonna do the thing”

23)  “Did you forget your line?”

24)  *sighs dramatically* “Line!”

25)  “Are you sure you want to do this?” “No, not really, But I never am and I’m not gonna start now.”

26)  “I have a plan” “A successful plan that won’t end in embarrassment and/or detention?” “I have no plan”

27)  “Hi, uh sorry, this is awkward but, that’s my seat?”

28)  “You are a crazy ball of contradictions, aren’t you?”

29)  “It's a beautiful day to give me money”

30)  “Don’t touch anything” 

31)  “Hang on, let me out in some pants”

32)  “Sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments”

33)  “Okay old man”

34)  “I’d rather face death”

35)  “Did I stutter?”

36)  “Get on with it already”

37)  “It’s not funny”

38)  “Hey. Hey, you’re okay. I’m okay. We are all okay”

39)  “That is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea. Let’s do it and see what happens”

40)  “I hate you” “Why? I’m lovely”

41)  “Weren’t you trying to kill me three minutes ago?”

42)  “Bite me”

43)  “Shh... Let me wear your shirt in peace”

44)  “Who are you? And is that my shirt?”

45)  “What? Sorry, I do my best to block out the stupid around me’”

46)  “What would you do if I kissed you right now?”

47)  “What would you do if I punched you right now?”

48)  “We aren’t dating but I’m going to randomly kiss you”

49)  “Are you- are you flirting with me?”

50)  “Is that what you call flirting?”

51)  “I never imagined myself in a dress”

52)  “That’s not a good sign”

53)  “I’m channeling my inner white girl”

54)  “What are you so afraid of?”

55)  “Do you trust me?” “No” “Smart”

56)  “Why are your hands (color)?” “That is a very good question”

57)  “This is hard”

58)  “Respect existence or expect resistance” 

59)  “you’re a psychopath” “I prefer creative”

60)  “Well, you can’t plan a murder out loud”

61)  “Why are you so quiet?”

62)  “Why are you so loud?’

63)  “Wha- what, what is this?”

64)  “Are you sure you two aren’t married?”

65)  “Why can’t they see they’re meant to be?”

66)  “We are dating now. You have no choice in the matter”

67)  “So... wanna make out?”

68)  “Your lips taste like coffee”

69)  “It’s an experiment!”

70)  “For science!”

71)  “Oh! That was why you were laughing. I thought there was a donkey hidden somewhere”

72)  “You might be an idiot, but you’re my idiot”

73)  “Let’s cuddle”

74)  “You lied to my face”

75)  “Just shut up already”

76)  “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you, or shove you off a cliff”

77)  “Growing up is overrated”

78)  “On a scale of one to ten how likely are you to date me?”

79)  “You are necessary. I need you”

80)  “Do you really need all that candy?”

81)  “Do you really need to ask?”

82)  “Are you sure I can’t punch them in the face? Not even just a little?”

83)  “Have you ever loved someone so much it actually hurt?”

84)  “I trusted you” “Well then you can’t really blame me, can you? It was your mistake”

85)  “Their crying what do I do” “Comfort them” “How do I do that?”

86)  “So, I kind of think that there is a 327% chance that I’m in love with you”

87)  “No?”

88)  “Hi? Hi?!? All you can say is Hi?!?”

89)  “I am not wearing enough clothes for this”

90)  “Fuck it”

91)  “Could you possibly be any stupider?”

92)  “Is there any chance you could, I don’t know, not?”

93)  “How about no?”

94)  “Finally!”

95)  “Why won’t they/you just kiss already?”

96)  I’m going to make them realize their feelings for each other if it’s the last thing I do”

97)  “Is this one of those times you want me to lie to protect your delicate emotions?”

98)  “Remove you hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it”

99)  “Your hair is so soft”

100)  “Come here, you can sit in my lap until I’m done working”

101) “Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m worried about you. No one deserves to be alone”

102) “you’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this”

103)         “I’ve had a rough day and all I want right now is someone to cuddle with me”

104)         “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

105)         “It’s too early for this?”

106)         “But then I’d have to put pants on”

107)         “You are bleeding all over my carpet”

108)         “You broke it didn’t you?”

109)         “I miss(ed) you”

110)         “I’ve missed this”

111)         “Is that/this really necessary?”

112)         Are you my parent or my s/o?”

113)         “Don’t make me come over there”

114)         “No seriously, I do not want to get up”

115)         “I think I might be pregnant”

116)         “Guess what, there’s a baby in me!” *Jazz hands*

117)         “I want to marry you”

118)         “Let’s do something crazy”

119)         “Really is that the best you could do?”

120)         “Is that really the best you could come up with?”

121)         “What even are we?”

122)         “I give up”

123)         “Leave me alone”

124)         ” I’m not in the mood right now”

125)         “If you want to talk, talk”

126)         “I may not look it, but I am listening”

127)         “Just because I act like I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t care”

128)         “Why are you always so grouchy?” “Allergies” What are you allergic to?” “Positivity”

129)         “I’m getting real tired of having to pretend to care”

130)         “With this smile, I can get away with everything”

131)         “Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture”

132)         “Judge if you want, we’re all going to die. I just intend to deserve it”

133)         “Excuse me, I have to go a scene”

134)         “Y’know, that’s not what an apology sounds like”

135)         “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be having an existential crisis in the corner”

136)         “This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I shall die upon it” “Shut up, we’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes”

137)         “You are an insult away from starting a war”

138)         “Literally everything about this is illegal”

139)         “I had a thought” “Oh no”

140)         “Oh boy”

141)         “Your imperfections are perfect to me”

142)         “You are necessary. I need you”

143)         “You seem so nice, but you are so evil. How?” “People are willing to do things for you if you’re polite’

144)         “Oh my gosh that would look so cute on you”

145)         “Oh, my profanity is offensive? So is your sensitive fucking nature, so we’re even”

146)         “You are currently crushing my spleen” “You don’t even know where your spleen is”

147)         “Why are you hiding behind me? What did you do?”

148)         “You scared me!” “Well I am naturally terrifying”

149)         “You scared me, I thought I lost you”

150)         “Don’t you ever don’t that again”

151)         “Put some pants on, we’re going on”

152)         “I’d take a bullet for you, you know that” “You’re immortal, and I’m going to kill you if you keep saying that”

153)         “That has got to be the worst pick-up line in existence” “Don’t worry. That’s just plan A” “What’s plan B?” “To take you hostage”

154)         “Keep your morals away from me”

155)         “Lie!” “I – what?” “Lie, what you just said, it isn’t true”

156)         “You are the worst human being on the face of the planet” “Thanks. Anyway...”

157)         “Are you ... crying?”

158)         “Stop glaring it was just a suggestion”

159)         “Have I ever thanked you for being my friend?” “Uh, no, but tha- ““Good”

160)         “Are you even listening to me?”

161)         “I have never been so in love before”

162)         “My god I love you/them”

163)         “Fuck!” “What’s wrong?”

164)         “I’m pretty sure I’m in love. Dammit!”

165)         “I’m sick, therefore I don’t have to deal with you bullshit today”

166)         “Go bother someone else today”

167)         “I’m just going to walk away now”