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#so in comparison this book is just like. yeah.
clonerightsagenda · 2 days
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How's Uglies holding up to modern rereading for you? I loved it as a kid, but nowadays I see it as an early entry in the YA dystopia boom that other books took formula notes from and refined down the line, making it feel a fair bit clumsier by comparison. Very fond memories, though, and I appreciate seeing the toxic yuri on my dash now that I'm old enough to appreciate it, lol.
It's holding up pretty well for me! I'll be honest - while I read The Hunger Games and Unwind, I never read Divergent or The Maze Runner, so I'm not entirely versed in the YA dystopia boom. I'm aware of the cultural construction of it though - world's specialest teen girl is the only one who can topple the government and lead a revolution. I'm not even sure how many of the actual series align with that stereotype (imo The Hunger Games is deliberately interrogating it) but anyway, some thoughts re: Uglies' position vis a vis dystopia stereotypes and just in general:
The love triangle is annoying, no arguments there, but it also ends more messily than I think the stereotype typically conveys. She 'chooses' one of them and then he dies as a direct result of her behavior, and she's not with-with the other at the end of the main series (and in the sequel series they've gone their separate ways).
Also, Tally is frequently a pretty unlikable person, which is a bold choice! She is not motivated by any pure intentions at the beginning - she's betraying a friend for her own gain - and throughout the series we see her wrecking that friendship over and over because, as Shay accuses her, she thinks she's the center of the universe. Shay hits every big milestone before Tally - Smoky, Pretty, Special - and it almost feels like prodding the limits of a close third POV, reminding us that there's isn't one single world's specialist teen girl. In the stereotypical version, Shay would be the scrappy rebel hero. Tally always needs pushes, and she's always screwing it up.
While it's obviously written for younger readers, the writing is effective. Like I said, Scott challenges himself to write the same POV three times with different levels of brain damage and pulls it off. He integrates made up slang in a way that doesn't feel too distracting (I really enjoy the way the princess sections in Pretties are written). In classic Scott fashion he brings back key ideas and phrases to hit you hard when it counts (informed consent, a special circumstance), and of course the whole final word of each book forming a circle is a fun little bonus. I'm glad this was written before the modern codifying of YA when it would be in first person.
The moral is obvious yeah but it's MG/YA and also props to Scott for predicting influencers in Extras. You also get the protagonist semi-aligning themselves with the antagonists' ideology at the end which is interesting, even if it again fits into a Western environmentalist assumption that humans can't live in peace with nature.
And finally, despite not being sporty at all, I still want a hoverboard.
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camelspit · 11 months
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succumbing to the demons and dnfing a book for the first time in years 😔
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starboy-squeakers · 6 months
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Again not a dungeon meshi reader/watcher but every time I hear about that laois guy I get reminded of how my system had/has a hyperfixation on dragons so intense that we got that big fancy dragonology book and we treated it like the damn dragon Bible for like years
Now, obviously, we understand that there's different interpretations on mythical creatures, and no one interpretation on a dragon is necessarily gospel, but that multiple interpretations on the classic tale of beasts of scale and fire are completely valid and to be expected!
however if you call an Eastern dragon a coatl I'm going to come to your house and slaughter your family
#THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT#yes they have similarities but coatls have WINGS typically and dont usually have other limbs. they're more serpentine birds#meanwhile Eastern dragons (Chinese depictions for example) don't typically have wings and are more lizard-like#like Mushu !!!!!!!! Mushu is an Eastern dragon#and then there's drakes and wyrms. which are entirely different bc they can't really fly#drakes are more like draconic horses or dogs. no wings but four limbs and a tail with a reptilian appearance#wyrms are more serpentine with no limbs and no wings. though i think some interpretations of wyrms give them like.. two forelimbs#then there's wyverns. wyverns have two legs and two wings instead of the typical eight limbs (four limbs two wings)#(i also perosnally hold true to the interpretation of wyverns with poisonous stingers for tails but that's just me cause i think its cool)#..... how much of this is just me talking abiut dragons#explodes.#oh yeah and obv there's the HTTYD interpretations which i adore! they're interesting#the designs are so fascinating and from what ive seen seem to have some science behind them#and arent just the typical western style of dragons. which nothing wrong with the western style it's a classic ofc#but it's still fun to see some variation!!#and ofc there's WOF#which holds true to Western dragons in simple anatomy but has its own variations and of course its own lore#then there's. fuck i forget the name but it's a fantasy story based in China i believe#i loved it so much it was so cool#anyways it had a dragon character named Seryu. I love Seryu. he my favorite#anyways i liked the interpretation of dragons there bc iirc it held true to ummmmm some Chinese mythology involving dragons#cause Eastern mythology of drahons is . so much diffetent than Western#Western dragons are commonly very monstrous creatures‚ usually very animalistic#they tend to embody the Christian concept of greed/gluttony hence why they're so typically monstrous/villainous#which i find interesting but i wont get into that#meanwhile. i wanna say Eastern dragon legends more revolve around the idea of a dragon as more of a godly/fae-type creature?#that's probably a poor comparison but that's how i interpreted it. agian im probahly wronf about all of this#im some weirdo rambling about dragons on the internet. dont trust me explicitly#i need to get more dragon mythology books#HELP I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I DIDNT THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE GOOD LORD OKAY I'LL SHUT UP NOW
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britneyshakespeare · 28 days
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Let slaves in mind be servile to their fears;
Our heart is high instarred in brighter spheres.
Fernando, IV.ii of Love's Sacrifice (1633) by John Ford
#i almost didn't read this play#john ford#poetry#caroline drama#english literature#there are 5 ford plays in this collection i borrowed from the library#and it's a loan from another library in the state which means it can't be renewed#i had read tis pity in a book i donated to savers and then decided i wanted to read perkin warbeck by ford#and maybe some others since tis pity was just so good#the broken heart was intriguing from a quote by charles lamb in the intro#and the lover's melancholy interested me since it was a tragicomedy#so those three plays (broken heart/warbeck/melancholy) i knew i had to read#and i had half a mind like yeah if i don't have much time before the due date i might return it wo reading sacrifice#(and i also read a few other things in between ford plays to just get a breather)#love's sacrifice might be his second best after tis pity#the broken heart was really good too. warbeck was a little strange but not bad. melancholy was... i had notes#but i still really enjoyed all 3#lover's melancholy and perkin warbeck suffer in comparison with the expectations i had from shakespeare's tragicomedies and history plays#they're still very worthwhile but ford is at his best in the tragic form#i really like how he writes female characters. he also has a flair for macabre set pieces and spectacle#i would love to direct any of these plays someday#i think all the time about how id direct like a bbc television shakespeare series but for other lesserknown playwrights#i would give so much to be able to bring ford's work to a general audience today#he has so much to say and is so entertaining
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coffeeandcalligraphy · 10 months
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rereading the worst scene I have ever written in my entire life and why did harrison have to drag lonan so hard here:
The sound of Lonan’s voice is like crashing into a concrete wall.
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gothamcityneedsme · 3 months
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ok. i read tom king's mister miracle run and tbh? i don't think i vibed with it. but it DOES read interestingly as a proto-strange adventures though.
#shitpost#very similar themes of fatherhood and legacy?#and. you know. the choice whether or not to give up your child to end a galactic scale war.#mister miracle makes the correct choice (which is. complicated by the question of the reality of it all) vs adam strange#who makes the VERY WRONG CHOICE that makes him honestly a full villain of the piece (and he already was. as well. the war crimes)#but yeah this is the first tom king i didn't like and I DO see what people are saying about the repetitiveness of his choices as well#i think his narrative WORKS in strange adventures and in human target (esp human target as a noire)#but i do not really think it quite works here. his writing for Barda also feels a bit weak#which is odd because he is trying to ground the cosmic-scale story in by rooting it with the couple on Earth#so it just doesn't quite click as well#to me. and I'm not sure how to work with the ending and the theme of escapism seems... off? IDK.#It was interesting but I was kinda skimming by halfway through it b/c tbh it just didn't feel good to read?#like his other stuff even int he dark tone has felt GOOD to read. dramatic and interesting#(adding riddler: year one to the context of what ive read by him but i have no specific comparisons to make to that book)#the 9 panel page does get exhausting too so i think that adds to it#but the other works have that style as well so like. idk.#anyways. I also read Barda#the recent one. and THAT was great#I need to remember/recall what my dad rec'd for Mister Miracle#i was just scrolling hte app and saw the tom king run and got curious because i DO like some of tom king's work.#shrug#read Barda though it was so so so so so good
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lesenbyan · 5 months
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There are few things worse, I think, than reading a call to action memoir that is so close to right but really should have been shelved for at least 5yrs before going to print so the author has time to learn enough to see all the false equivalencies that really hinder the point
#personal;#yeah fatphobia is bad but dont you dare act like people aren't asking disabled people to medically alter themselves every day???#you compare bariatric and gender affirming surgeries in such a way that makes the latter sound easy to get??#and in fact don't at ALL go into the struggles for transition care except for a nod at FL while comparing us (trans people)#to fat people like our lives are Much Easier instead of /oppressed by the same white colonial structures that enforce fatphobia/#but go off i guess#i was giving a lot of leeway when i was just side eyeing the comparisons with racism bc i'm not fat and i've not experienced enough racism#to say either way on those#but the MOMENT she started using trans and disabled comparisons i about lost it#and also randomly started calling it antisemitic (sure as much as it's violnt to all poc) in the last chapter with nothing supporting it#like you can tell it was written over the course of the last like 2 maybe 3 years without enough space to breathe#i have listened to a book on writing memoir so often i've got some of it all but memorized#and i agree that if it's more recent than a decade you're probably too close to be writing it#and this author's writing mostly about during pandemic times. this is more a journal and call to action than memoir#but its not polished enough to be a proper call to action bc there's not much it gives you to do other than 'stop dieting & dare to be fat'#which isn't an effective call to action when only those most harmed by fatphobia can act on it you know???#lots of complaints#3/10#edit: reiterting that i'm not saying it'#*it's not anti-semitic; just that a good published work of this kind doesn't make last second claims and certainly not ones#they haven't already explicitly supported in the text#i feel the need to clarify with the very very vocal rise of anti semitism esp in the left#like yes there are anti-Semitic ties. she didn't name them. just said 'they exist lol' and this went to print#great study in poor research slipping onto shelves bc topic matter is relevant
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aeide-thea · 1 year
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look, i realize that talking to you guys is not exactly a great way to take the temperature of the cis masses on an issue, but—
a post came across my dash just now in which the OP said twice that it was 'odd' to find herself relating to a male character in the book she was reading, and i'm just. totally fucking baffled by that reaction???? like for me 'relatability' is absolutely never a matter of someone's having a body or social positionality that tidily maps onto mine, it's a matter of, like, personality traits! traumas! attitudes towards the world! it's a metaphor! i'm so baffled by this idea that it would matter at all to someone whether a character shares their exact gender, of all things!
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aenhanse · 9 months
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people weren't lying those crossroads of twilight can really slog
#this is the longest it took me to finish a wheel of time book#i haven't been really posting my thoughts as i read through this series but i am an old man staring out his window rn#wot book spoilers#once i hit egwene pov chapters it definitely got better in terms of me actively wanting to sit down and read it#but the parts before... idk if it's because i had my usual break before picking up this book specifically but man.#tragic to me because elayne and mat povs are usually my favorite in the books but alas.#at least i got the “but she loved aviendha every bit as much as she did rand”. much to think about#but yeah it very much feels like a sort of filler book#i feel like a lot of the events could've been shortened?#but i do find a lot of what happened in the back half of the book interesting. like the introduction of so habor#and whatever is going on with mat seeing dead people?? yeah i'm kicking my leggies and am interested to see what's up with those things#although all three boys now getting in some ways alligned with the seanchan... :| not looking forward to that#and i find tuon intriguing she is interesting to me i just wish there was no romance plot here#overall i enjoyed the egwene chapters the most#egwene povs my new best friend#(i'm saying this as if i haven't liked them in previous books. i very much did but there were always povs that i enjoyed more in comparison#anyways. live randland reaction the book goes to the bottom of my list. i am walking off into the sunset with knife of dreams in my hand#olga talks
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waywardsalt · 6 months
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not to be That Kind of zelda fan but the hyrule historia does also explicitly refer to the world of the ocean king as ‘another world’
#i bring this up to be slightly petty but also as in like. one of the big loz info things refers to it as its own world#like even if the game is inaccessible and ppl dont want to look at cutscenes or anything. its Right There in this big series resource#im mostly pissed at this i think bc it kind of borders on straight up misinfo on ph’s lore stuff and also just. it feels… idk#really hand-wavey and indicitive of maybe how little some loz fans think of ph? that they see these baseline similarities with a more#popular loz game and just go oh so its like that. without actually fact checking or looking more into ph itself to look for nuance to it#like ph aint perfect but this is just one thing that pisses me the fuck off bc they always default it all to working exactly as it did in l#when it very clearly does not beyond those really general broad strokes- like its just wrong and it bothers me bc i see it often#its barely even up to debate tbh (headcanons are free reign tho) cuz like. canonically within the game and outside it is a solid world#everything in there is real and some of it interacts within the great sea. it just has different properties and w/e#like smaller headcanon shit is fine ofc??? like oh maybe its just in a different location in the same world as the great sea#or nitty gritty hcs abt how time passes in comparison n wether or not oshus himself csn manipulate how much times passed between worlds#its just like. the ‘dream world’ thing feel so different bc it just seems to come abt from ppl not actually looking at the game and just#conflating it with a different game like theyre like eh this ones not important so i can just figure it works the same as this other one#i think that explains why i hate this idea??? like im not pacing back and forth fuming abt this irl#i picked up the historia bc its in my room and i was looking for other stuff anyways and was like hm what does this say#its just. just irritating enough. i may delete this later#anyways ‘that kind’ as if i dont personally follow the official historia timeline#og point of this post is like. the book considers it ‘another world’ and makes no suggestion that its not real in any sense#compared to with la it makes it clear that yeah that one is a dream
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kirbyddd · 1 year
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while im ranting about rpg stuff
there are some dudes with a really cool rpg monster-design book who have absolutely botched their kickstarter and are scrambling to crawl over the finish line before the campaign time runs out
today it was like "Friday! That means blog post day!" like guys you have been making blog posts every single day desperately trying to scrabble together a few more supporters
i get those emails cause i supported it, it's a really cool project I'd like to see succeed, but man theyve really dropped the ball. one of the guys is an 80k youtuber and they thought that would just be enough i guess?
also theyre asking for 75,000 BIG ONES like guys i have seen fully illustrated book kickstarters before. yours is UNDER 100 PAGES. there are entire original rulebooks and box sets funding for a fraction of that right now. i kindaaaa think theyre trying to squeeze out a bit of pocket money on that baseline funding goal.
honestly yeah theyre reaaally gettin a bit overconfident askin $75k for a glorified 80pg tables book in the indie rpg scene, especially for a book that's already complete?? i fully support trying to earn back your sacrifices and turn a profir on a project you had to make for free before you could sell it, but....
$75k..? 84 pages..? already written and illustrated? in the tabletop homebrew market, the most frugal "build it yourself" audience in all of gaming? ...really?
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magioffire · 2 years
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update: im changing the name of valeru’s former master from ‘lucius’ to ‘loukios‘
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pinejay · 2 years
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it can be pretty fun to read reviews of a book u hate but one of the most painful things u can do is read goodreads reviews of a book u love
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sillyfudgemonkeys · 3 days
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About a month ago my new coworker told me he didn't like LoK (that's fine). When I asked why he said it reminded him too much of The Last of Us 2. And I was like ??????? HuH???? So I asked him to elaborate, and due to time constraints (and maybe him just....refusing to really elaborate????) the most I could get out of him was "Korra/Ellie choosing not to kill Kuvira/Abby at the end" and that was "bad."
AND THAT'S IT! Nothing else, no expansion. So I have to tell y'all, my ass hasn't been ok since. It's keeping me up at night. I'm trying to figure out what he means. Cause the math ain't mathing lemme tell you. I think it's all bullshit TT0TT Like this man had a vision, but god does he need some fucking glasses.
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I haven't been this inside my own head since I was debating with air about P5. TT0TT
#ahhhhhhhhhhhh#silly talks#listen no he's wrong I have like an 800 page book on why#the take of all takes#i made a post about it but it's so buried I don't feel like looking for it so I'm just posting this here#i made it the night I heard it jfdklasjfka but yeah I'm still feeling emotions#him: I don't like LoK#Me: it's fine to have wrong opinions#(i'm joking. Korra's best critics are her biggest fans ok)#What really happened “Me: yeah yeah yeah anyway KYOSHI!”#we're a communist country here. if I have a hyperfixation then EVERYONE in the orbit h as a hyperfixation (and it goes vice versa)#i'm yapping about Rangshi and I'm getting responses about FF14 in return the ecosystem is thriving let me tell you#the conversations make no sense but we're all vibbing#listen I'm not a fan of TLoU2 but??????#my dude.........i'm pretty sur the arc and themes of those chars are going in complete opposite directions TT0TT#ok decided to vent for a second at lunch time back into my hell hole#SOS please some one help me~!#It's not healthy~ for me to feel this~!#Y-O-U are makin' this hard~ I can't take it. see. i don't feel right~#SOS please someone help me! It's not healthy~ for me to feel this~#Y-O-U are makin' this hard~You got me tossin' and turnin'. can't sleep at night~#(oh wow those lyrics actually fit my predicament kfljdksalfj)#(this take is literally making me lose it)#(I should just vent and I'll be fine kfljdsalkfj)#it's all just surface level???? the actual depth of comparing them is WILDLY DIFFERENT THO????#I'll be fair that I'm not the most knowledgeable about TLoU2 but even from what I know it's just....surface level comparisons??? TT0TT#what was bro onnnnnn????? TT0TT#it's like comparing apples and oranges...yeah both are fruits but they are so wildly different outside that!!!#i was gonna go on a bender ranting about how none of that adds up but then I fell asleep#so I'll postpone the real rant later TT0TT
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soutsuji · 6 months
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I love it when I'm doing research and sources start referencing sources I've already read. Makes me feel like I'm winning some sort of game
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flowersforbucky · 1 month
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love language
snapshots of your relationship with bucky told through the five love languages.
“remember, we're madly in love, so it's alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
warnings/tags: smut, oral, unprotected sex, mentions of blood, wound care, brief uses of alcohol, anxiety and self-doubt, language, reader is afab, 18+ only, avenger!reader, fluffier than what i typically write, undercover mission, friends to lovers!!!
word count: 6.6k
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Acts of Service
“Exciting Friday night?” Your head snaps up at the masculine voice. You nearly slosh hot tea on both yourself and the pages of the book that lay open in your lap. You're surprised to see him - as far as you were aware, Bucky and Sam were in Munich. You didn't think they were supposed to be back in the country for another two days.
“Something like that,” you answer, regaining your composure as you bring the mug to your lips. “What are you doing back so early? Did recon go okay?”
Bucky lets out a long sigh as he plops down into the recliner, adjacent to where you're curled up on the sofa in the compound’s communal living room. His eyelids look heavier than normal, with dark circles underneath that aren't typically present. You place your cup of tea on the end table next to you and close the book before angling your body towards him, giving him your undivided attention.
“It was a shit-show,” he answers bluntly, voice laced with defeat. “HYDRA had the drop on us from the minute we entered Germany. What was supposed to be us just gathering intel turned into an ambush. One minute, it was just the two of us in an old warehouse, and then the next..” he trails off, eyes locked on one of the buttons of his tactical pants that he’s fidgeting with. “We’re lucky to have made it out. Sam was taken to med-bay as soon as we got back. Broken arm and collarbone, dislocated shoulder, possibly a few fractured ribs..” he lists off the injuries.
“Jesus,” you cringe, a death grip on the book in your hands as you listen to him summarize the mission. “Looks like you came out pretty unscathed in comparison.” You glance him over from head to toe, relieved to see no visible wounds or bruises.
“Yeah, well,” he starts, sitting forward and pulling the collar of his black t-shirt over to expose his right shoulder. Your eyes bulge when you see the obvious knife wound that the fabric had been concealing. “Not completely unscathed.”
“Holy shit, Bucky, why didn’t you go get this stitched up?” You stand up quickly, your book falling forgotten to the floor as you step closer to him to inspect the cut. There’s dried blood covering the surrounding skin of his chest and shoulder, with fresh blood still seeping from the opening of the wound. Even with the luxury of the Quinjet, a direct flight from Germany to New York is at least eight hours, who knows how long the cut had been steadily oozing–
“The bleeding has slacked off for the most part at this point,” he tries to assure you, attempting to cover the wound back up with his shirt. His shirt that, upon closer inspection, is thoroughly soaked through with blood. You all but smack his hand away so that you can continue to inspect the cut.
“It’s too deep,” you shake your head. “It needs stitches.”
“It’ll be fine by morning–” he starts to argue with you, but you’re already walking away from him, exiting the room to retrieve a first-aid kit kept in one of the shared bathrooms just down the hallway. Though you can’t currently see him, you have no doubt that he is shaking his head and rolling his eyes at you.
Before returning to the living room, you stop by the kitchen and grab a cold can of Blue Moon to help take the edge off. Upon reentering the living room, you find that he’s hunched over where he sits in the recliner, leaning forward to grab your book from where it had fallen on the rug.
“What were you reading before I so rudely interrupted you?” The corner of his mouth tugs upwards in a smirk as he inspects the cover of the book.
“The Hunger Games,” you answer simply as you place the first-aid kit on the couch and hold out the beer to him. He accepts the drink, a small, surprised smile appearing on his face.
“Shirt,” you instruct a second later, turning to him with a warm, wet rag that you intend to clean some of the dried blood off with. Surprisingly, he obliges your request, placing both the beer and the book in his lap to pull the bloodied fabric over his head.
“And what exactly is The Hunger Games about?” he asks, looking up at you through his thick lashes before turning his attention back to the book in his lap. He flips it over, skimming the words on the back cover.
“The Hunger Games,” you begin as you delicately swipe the damp washcloth across the dirty skin around his wound, watching as the material turns from white to pink as it collects the old blood. “Are dystopian fiction novels. The books get their title from an annual event in which a boy and a girl, ranging from the ages of twelve to eighteen, from twelve different districts are selected by name-drawing to compete in a fight to the death. Twenty-four go into an arena, one comes out.”
“Sheesh,” Bucky grimaces and pops the tab to the beer. You turn away from him, placing the soiled washcloth on the table next to him before retrieving some disinfectant from the kit. “And what’s the point in having a bunch of children kill each other?”
“Punishment and control,” you shrug, pouring some of the clear liquid on a large gauze pad until it’s soaked. He gives you a vague nod, signaling he’s ready for you to clean the wound. You dab the drenched cotton along the opening of the wound, wincing more visibly than Bucky does himself. “The districts where the children are reaped from have had uprisings against the nation’s Capitol in the past. The games are to punish them, as well as to remind them what power the Capitol holds.”
Bucky’s brows furrow together, contemplating your words. You make the initial incision for his stitches and he lets out a grunt of discomfort. “Sorry,” you mumble, concentrating on the stitchwork.
“So what happens?” He asks after a few moments of silence, obviously trying to distract himself from the needle going in and out of his tender flesh as he sips on the amber colored liquid. “The group of kids rebel and take down the Capitol?”
“You’re not too far off,” you chuckle lightly. “I guess you’ll just have to read them for yourself to find out.”
“I suppose I will,” he says, eyeing your needlework from the corner of his eye. “Will you let me borrow your copies when I finish The Lord of the Rings?”
“You’re reading The Lord of the Rings?” you fail at hiding your tone of surprise, more focused on finishing suturing his cut.
“Don’t act so shocked,” he feigns insult. “I read when I have the free time to do so.” He turns his head towards you for the first time since you began stitching, causing you to realize just how close his face is to your own. You push down the fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach at the close proximity, clearing your throat as you turn to grab a pair of small medical scissors. You clip the thread before backing away from him.
“That should hold you together well enough until your supernatural super-soldier healing abilities take care of it while you sleep.”
He stands from his position in the recliner, holding out your book to you. “Thank you,” he tells you sincerely. “For the stitches, and the beer.”
“Of course,” you say as you take your book back from him. “Don’t want you getting blood all over the compound.”
“I think I’m gonna go check on Sam,” he sighs. “I’ll let you get back to your reading.”
“Get some rest!” you demand as he retreats to the hallway.
“Yes ma’am,” he calls without looking back, his Brooklyn drawl making an appearance.
For the rest of the night, you try to focus on your book and not the way you felt when his plush pink lips and cerulean blue eyes were just inches from your face.
Receiving Gifts
One week later
Punctuality has never been your strong-suit, but you didn’t expect to be the very last person to arrive at Bucky’s birthday party - get together, as he insists on calling it, since he feels silly having a birthday party at over one hundred years old. However, as you’re approaching the pavilion at the compound’s lake, you see that all of your friends are already mingling comfortably.
Natasha, Sharon, and Wanda wave at you from where they lounge next to the bonfire, Steve and Sam are engaged in an intense game of beer pong (which Sam seems to be doing impressively well at, considering one arm is still in a cast and sling), Clint and Bruce are playing cornhole - everyone is here, though you don’t see the one person you came for.
You make your way over to a picnic table closer to the lake that has been dedicated to presents so that you can add yours to the pile. You had ordered the gift a week ago, the same night that you had stitched up Bucky’s shoulder wound, and it arrived just in time - in today's mail, only an hour ago.
Hence the reason you are the last to arrive with a shittily-wrapped present in hand.
“Is that Avengers wrapping paper?” You whirl around at the amused voice to see Bucky walking towards you.
“That it is,” you confirm. “You and I aren't featured, though. Just the OGs,” you shrug, staring down at the cartoon depictions of Steve and the others.
“I was starting to wonder if you weren't going to come.” He says lightheartedly, nodding in the direction of everyone else.
“Your present didn't get delivered until the last minute,” you explain, giving the box-shaped object in your hand a shake. “Didn't want to show up empty handed.”
“You didn't have to get me a gift at all,” he says reassuringly, but eyes the present curiously. “But since you almost missed my party over it, I should open it right away.” He holds his hands out expectantly, almost childlike.
You roll your eyes, handing over the poorly packaged present. You had never been the best at gift-wrapping, usually preferring to reuse bags.
“I did not almost miss your party. It's just now eight o'clock,” you defend yourself, staring at the sun that's just starting to set over the lake's horizon, painting the New York sky in hues of orange and purple.
He smirks, walking past you to place the present on the table. You watch as he rips the wrapping paper away unceremoniously, until the gift is revealed.
“I know you had asked to borrow my copies,” you begin, suddenly feeling nervous as you watch him look over the box set of the first edition of The Hunger Games trilogy. “But my copies are old, and tattered, and have been annotated to shit, so.. I thought maybe you'd like your own,” you shrug nonchalantly.
He studies the box, pulling out the first book and glancing it over with a look you can't quite decipher. There's a faint hint of rose on his cheeks, and the lines around his eyes crinkle when he turns his head to look at you.
“Thank you,” he says with a soft, earnest smile. “This is incredibly thoughtful of you. I'm going to start reading them–”
“This pizza is getting cold!” You hear Sam's voice bellow from under the pavilion a few yards away. “I'm about to dig in with or without the birthday boy.”
You exhale through your nose, a half laugh, half sigh and look at Bucky expectantly. “Pretty sure you're the only birthday boy here.”
“I guess that's my cue,” he sighs as he places the books with the rest of his unopened gifts. “Thanks again, really. It's my favorite gift,” he adds with a sly grin as he begins to walk towards Sam and the table of pizza boxes.
“You haven't even opened the others yet,” you point out, following in his steps.
“Don’t need to open any of the others to know that yours is my favorite.”
Words of Affirmation
Two weeks later
Overstimulated. That's the best word to describe the way you're currently feeling.
Nervous, uncomfortable, irritable, a little hungry, even - any of those words would suffice, too. But with the way the velvet fabric of your dress hugs your hips too tightly, the way that the conversation of the drunk party guests roars in your ears, and the way that the heels of your feet already burn in your platform wedges so early in the evening, you think overstimulated sums up your current state the best.
You fidget with the extravagant ring that adorns your left ring finger, twisting it back and forth and rubbing the pad of your right thumb across the oval-shaped stone.
You aren't even supposed to be here, your brain keeps reminding you. It was supposed to be Natasha. Natasha, who has a boatload of undercover operations experience. But then she had to come down with the flu. Natasha, who never gets sick with anything more than a head cold, bedridden with the flu the day before a highly anticipated undercover mission that you are now taking her place in.
It's not that you hadn't been part of an undercover operation before - you had. You just hadn't been part of any undercover operation that required you to pose as someone's wife before.
Definitely not Bucky's wife.
The two of you had just arrived at the party no more than thirty minutes ago and you had spent the entirety of that time thinking that you wouldn't be able to make this believable; that everyone would see how anxious and awkward you feel and just know - just know that you weren't meant to be here and that it's abundantly clear that you and Bucky aren't actually together.
“Ivanov just arrived,” Bucky's voice murmurs next to your ear as he walks up behind you, snapping you out of your self-doubt induced trance. His left hand, disguised using nano-tech to look like a human, flesh hand, comes to rest against the small of your back and his right hand extends the drink that he retrieved for you from the bar.
“How'd you know I like lemon drops?” You ask, instantly recognizing the pale yellow liquid in the martini glass.
“I'm your husband. It's part of my job to know your go-to cocktail,” he smirks, looking at you in a way that almost makes you believe his words. “Besides, I'd know your drink of choice anyway. You always order a lemon drop.”
You clear your throat, breaking his stare by checking out the fellow attendees and event staff filtering through the ballroom. You slowly sip the sour liquid, trying to focus on the burn of the vodka and not the heat radiating across the skin of your back from him simply resting his fingers against the material of your dress.
“So where's Ivanov?” you break the tension. The illegal arms dealer that you'd been assigned to spy on was nowhere to be seen.
“He should be showing his face any minute now,” Bucky answers, a hint of displeasure in his voice. “I overheard some men at the bar saying he had just arrived in a three million dollar Bugatti with his twenty year old girlfriend.” You visibly cringe at the numbers. Ivanov had to be approaching senior citizen status at this point.
“Can't say that I'd expect anything else from him,” you sigh, attempting to wipe the disgust from your features. “What’s our game plan from here? Hover close by him and listen in on conversations–”
“Dance with me,” Bucky interrupts, his eyes locked on something on the opposite side of the room. You follow his gaze, realizing that Ivanov has entered with his exceptionally youthful girlfriend on his arm. Bucky extends his own arm to you, which you accept after tossing back the last sip of your drink and setting the empty glass on a table behind you.
He guides you to the center of the dance floor where several other couples are swaying to classical piano music. Ivanov mingles with a small group of questionable looking men just a few feet behind you, where Bucky is able to keep an eye on him.
He places one hand on your waist, using the other to hold one of yours in his own as he begins to slowly sway both of you to the rhythm of the music. Your free hand rests on the back of his neck, where you nervously twirl a tuft of his hair between your perfectly manicured fingers (you tried not to take too much offense to Sharon rushing you to the first salon she could find yesterday to help you look the part).
Bucky huffs a low laugh before using his grip on your hip to tug you closer to him, closing an awkward amount of space that separates your chest from his.
“If we want this to be believable, you’re gonna have to act like you kind of like me,” he murmurs lowly so that no one near you overhears. His face is just inches from yours - the scent of sandalwood from his aftershave and spearmint from his mouthwash is dizzying. Add in the fact that the lemon drop you had just quickly downed was heavy on the vodka, it’s a miracle that you’re still standing upright in these ridiculous heels that Sharon had picked out for you.
“I do like you,” you huff, your cheeks warming. “Not liking you isn’t the problem.” His gaze shifts away from where Ivanov stands a few yards behind you and down to your face.
“What is the problem then?”
You stare at his hand that holds yours, your eyes fixated on the brilliant diamond of your faux wedding ring. “For starters, I don’t really know how to slow dance,” you half-mumble. As if on cue, your left ankle shifts ever so slightly in your shoe, causing you to wobble. Bucky tightens his grasp on both your waist and hand to help steady you. He cackles - loudly enough for an old lady walking by to give him a side-eye.
“I think it’s pretty unlikely that our cover gets blown because you’re a little unsteady,” he whispers reassuringly. It does little to ease the lump of anxiety that has settled in your gut.
“It’s not just my lack of dancing experience,” you retort. “It’s all of this. I’m a bit out of my element here and I can’t help but feel like Natasha would have been able to do a much better–”
“Hey, hey,” he soothes, beginning to massage his thumb over the skin of your hand in languid, circular motions. You can’t decide if it’s the effects of the alcohol coursing through your veins or if it’s just the fact that it’s him, but it feels as though there’s a continuous trail of hot sparks everywhere his skin touches yours. “You've got this. If anyone’s got this, it's you. You've handled missions far more daunting than this with ease, right?”
You finally shift your eyes to meet his gaze. His deep blue eyes bore into yours with utmost sincerity. You give him a small nod of agreement and a tight-lipped, uncertain smile.
He leans in closer so that his mouth hovers just next to your ear, his warm breath raising goosebumps down the expanse of your neck and shoulders.
“And remember, we're madly in love, so it's alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
The slow, gentle swaying motions you'd been forcing your body to perform come to a sudden halt. You look at Bucky as if he's grown a second head. He’s looking at you with a shit-eating grin spread from ear to ear.
“Did you just quote Peeta Mellark?”
“I finished up the first book yesterday,” he shrugs as if his words hadn't just made your heart skip several beats. “Now let's get this job over with so we can go discuss the book in detail over some greasy diner food, yeah?”
Quality Time
The mere thought of getting the fuck out of that giant estate and away from Ivanov and the other countless skeevy party-goers to gorge on greasy diner food was more than enough motivation to get you through the duration of the mission.
Of course, it helped that Ivanov is a lightweight drunk with no concept of volume control. After a couple drinks, he handed the location of his next illegal arms deal to you and Bucky on a silver platter - without ever even noticing the two of you dancing just feet away from him.
“I'm sending the audio recording over to you right now,” Bucky says as he types on his cell phone. The two of you are currently in a drugstore parking lot half an hour away from the estate, sitting in the Audi SUV that you'd been given for this evening’s mission.
“Got it,” Sam’s voice booms through the car’s Bluetooth speakers a second later. “You guys did great back there. Go ahead and get back to the compound for debriefing.”
Your eyes flash to the time on the vehicle's touchscreen display - 10:06 pm. You can feel your stomach churning from hunger and your skin itching to get out of the restrictive velvet fabric, the last thing you wanted to do at this hour was go to a fucking debriefing.
“About that..” Bucky starts, noticing your disappointed expression and tense posture. “Debriefing is going to have to wait until the morning.”
“We should really get any details while they are still fresh–”
“What’s that? Sam? Sorry, you're breaking up, can't understand what you're–”
Bucky's flesh finger touches a button on the digital display screen and the call disconnects before he finishes his sentence.
“You know he's going to call back any second, right?” You ask after a moment of loaded silence. Bucky says nothing at first. You watch as he powers off his phone, and then grabs yours from its location in the center cup holder and powers it off, as well.
“I fully anticipate him trying,” he answers as he puts the car in reverse and peels out of the nearly vacant parking lot. “But I promised you a potentially gut-rotting meal, and I'm going to keep that promise.”
Half an hour later, you and Bucky sit opposite each other in a cozy, corner booth of the only open diner in a five mile radius. It's half diner, half arcade, and the two of you are some of the only people here save for the teenage couple making out next to the jukebox in the gaming area. You both look out of place - him in his black satin suit and you in your burgundy colored dress with the thigh-slit, but you're too relieved to be eating to care.
He's already scarfed down a fried chicken sandwich and is rapidly making his way through a pile of mozzarella sticks. You're eating a fat stack of blueberry pancakes and the best loaded hash browns that you think you've ever had.
Breakfast foods hit different at eleven o'clock at night.
“I'm just saying, Katniss is kind of oblivious,” Bucky shrugs with a mouthful of fried cheese. “It's obvious that Peeta was never just pretending to be in love with her.”
“That's a big assumption coming from someone who hasn't even started the second book yet,” you say as you fork a bite of pancake into your mouth.
He throws his hands up in mock defense, covering his now empty plate up with a dirty napkin.
“You're not wrong though,” you admit. “She did miss a lot of signs, and she's not always the most reliable narrator.”
He responds with a small hum as he watches you finish your pancakes with a soft smile that shows his laugh lines and the dimple of his left cheek.
His smile turns to something more curious as the young couple who had been making out in the arcade room earlier dashes past your booth and out the back door of the restaurant.
“What is it?” You ask, pushing your empty plate towards the center of the table.
“The game room is free now,” he states, as if it's obvious. “Now I can kick your ass in air hockey.”
And kick your ass in air hockey he does. And skee ball, and Dance Dance revolution.
“Please don't tell Natasha that you beat me at Dance Dance Revolution,” you beg him as you pick up your high heels that you had discarded for the game. “She'll never let me live that one down. In fact, if anyone asks, it was a dead tie for all of these games.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” he chuckles, approaching the pool table in the center of the room and leaning against the edge. “As long as you win this game of pool.”
“No, nope, absolutely not,” you freeze where you're standing, crossing your arms over your chest. “If I couldn't beat you at air hockey then I don't stand a chance of beating you at pool.”
He ignores you, instead turning to choose two cue sticks from the selection on the back wall. He tosses one to you from several feet away, which you instinctively drop your shoes to the floor to catch.
“I haven't even tried to play pool since I was maybe ten years old,” you whine.
“Why were you trying to play pool at ten years old?” he chuckles, gathering up all of the balls and placing them inside the triangular rack in the center of the table.
“It was at a birthday party,” you admit. “I pretended to know what I was doing to impress a boy that I had a crush on.”
“And how did that go for you?” He removes the triangle-shaped container from around the balls and begins to line up his shot.
“Well, I haven't tried to play pool since then,” you begin, taking a seat on the edge of the table and turning your head to watch him. He pulls the cue stick back and quickly stabs it forward, breaking the balls apart and sending them rolling in various directions across the felt table. “And Kyle from my fourth grade class thought that I had cooties, so, you tell me how you think that went for me.”
“Sounds like it was Kyle's loss.” You watch as he walks to one of the table's pockets to look inside. “I've got stripes,” he states, looking at you with an expectant smile.
You exhale a dramatic sigh, hopping off the edge of the table and turning around to position your stick in front of the cue ball.
“Fine,” you relent, looking up at him from where you're leaning over across the table. “But you're not allowed to laugh at me when you realize I wasn't lying about having no experience at this.”
“Scout's honor,” he swears and you can tell by his smile and reddened cheeks that he’s already trying to contain his laughter.
Feeling extra nervous due to the way you can physically feel him watching you, you take an embarrassing amount of time working up the courage to propel the tip of the cue stick towards a solid purple colored ball.
It travels a foot or so across the green felt material of the table and comes to a stop just inches away from a corner pocket.
“Damn it,” you sigh under your breath.
“That wasn't too bad, actually,” he says, not even trying to conceal his tone of surprise as he walks over to where you're standing. “You just need to change your stance a little and hit the ball a bit harder.”
“So, do basically everything differently, then?”
“I can help you, if you want,” he offers with a smug grin.
“Hm,” you bite your lip as you pretend to contemplate the proposition. “Okay,” you accept with a shrug. “But this better not be an attempt to pull a cliche “pretend to help her with pool as an excuse to make a move” kind of move.” You're fully joking - you know Bucky well enough to know he wouldn't make such a corny, obvious move with anyone - and you definitely wouldn't expect him to do so with you.
But you don't miss the way his expression darkens ever so slightly and his eyes sweep up your figure before moving to stand behind you, propping his own cue stick up against the table.
The front of your thighs brush up against the edge of the table and Bucky’s arms enclose you on either side - his hands coming to rest next to each of your legs on the table's edge, as close as they can be to you without actually touching.
Your breath hitches in your throat when the silky material of his suit brushes against your bare shoulders, the sensation causing you to go deadly still as you await his next move.
“With how fast your heart is beating right now, I don't think I would have to do something as cheesy as that to make a move.” He murmurs, his mouth close enough to the exposed skin of your neck that you can feel the heat of his breath. It's an automatic response, the way your head tilts back into his touch. You start to pull away, start to feel embarrassed, start to tell him just how wrong he is, when he brings a flesh finger to the ball of your shoulder and trails his index finger down the skin of your arm, eliciting a surge of goosebumps in its wake.
This physical reaction doesn't go unnoticed by him, either. He hums a small laugh, inching closer to you so that his body presses against your ass.
“In fact,” he says, voice barely above a whisper, “I think that if I wanted to, I could have you bent over this table for me without having to resort to anything like that.”
If his chest wasn't pinning you between him and the pool table, you probably would have fallen over. The air in the arcade feels a sudden ten degrees warmer and you swear you can hear your blood pumping in your ears - things that unfortunately can't be blamed on the effects of the martini that had dissipated from your system hours ago.
No, it's all him. His closeness, his warmth, his voice, his scent. Just him.
“If you wanted to, yeah?” You question, your voice an octave higher than you ideally would have liked. “That makes it sound like you don't want to. But the bulge I'm feeling from your pants makes it seem like you do want to. Kinda sending me mixed signals here.” You rut back against him for good measure.
He hisses next to your ear, his hands snapping to your hips, effectively stilling you beneath him. His fingers dig into the flesh around your hip bones, the pressure somewhere perfectly between uncomfortable and pleasurable.
“Here? Bent over this table?” he tuts, his lips grazing the skin next to the shoulder strap of your dress. “Where a couple of unsuspecting teenagers could walk in for a game of skee ball at any second?” He lets out a low laugh, the sound vibrating against your back.
“No, I don't think so,” he continues. “Not when we've got a brand new Audi with a spacious backseat and highly tinted windows just outside this building.”
Physical Touch
If someone had asked you six hours ago if you thought there was a chance you would be ending this night by having sex with Bucky Barnes, you would have said no.
But if someone had asked you if you thought there was a chance you would be having sex with Bucky Barnes in the backseat of a car in a diner-arcade combo parking lot, you would have said fuck no.
You would have been wrong on both accounts. And with the way that he's nipping and sucking up the insides of your thighs, you're pretty fucking okay with that.
Your dress is bunched up around your waist, your panties discarded on the floor of the car. You're laying as comfortably as you can across the backseat with Bucky nestled snuggly between your legs. It's a tight fit, and the stagnant air inside the Audi is balmy, but you'll be damned if you interrupt this to turn the AC on. The only light inside the vehicle is from the glow of the full moon that illuminates the sky, and the giant neon green diner sign a few yards away from where you're parked.
He's not wasting any time - it's well past midnight at this point and considering the fact that Bucky turned your cell phones off hours ago, you're surprised that Sam hasn't traced the location of the vehicle and sent search and rescue already.
As soon as his mouth makes contact with your center, you’re lacing your fingers through his short, soft locks and tugging on them. You grind your pussy against his face, meeting his fervent motions with your own. He locks his lips around your clit before pulling away with an obscene, wet pop that echoes through the cab of the car.
He reaches one hand up to your shoulders while keeping his lips on you, quickly tugging down the spaghetti straps of your dress and then pawing at the fabric covering your chest to free your tits.
At the same time that he plunges his tongue inside you, he rolls a nipple between two of his cool, metal digits, yearning a sharp yelp from you. He releases his grip and then palms your breast in his hand, continuing to work your folds with his lips and tongue.
You don't know if it's the fact that it's been a ridiculous amount of time since you so much as kissed someone or the fact that Bucky eats pussy like he's starving, but you're approaching your climax insanely fast.
You clench your thighs around his ears and push your hips upwards, the friction building that warm tension in your lower belly that comes spilling over when he lets out a guttural moan across your core.
You cum against his face, feeling your juices drip down the insides of your thighs - there's a pesky voice in the back of your head telling you that you're going to have to pay to have this car detailed before giving it back.
He sits up, his back resting against the middle of the leather seat. He unbuttons and unzips his suit pants, raising off the seat just enough to tug them down to mid-thigh along with his boxers. You're still coming down from your orgasm when he's pulling you up from the seat and into a sitting position.
You tuck your legs underneath you so that you're propped up on your knees on the seat directly next to him. Bucky pumps himself in his hand as you lean over, gathering all of the saliva in your mouth and letting it slide between your lips and over the head of his cock.
You push his hand away to replace it with your own, using your spit as lubrication as you stroke him up and down. He throws his head back against the headrest, looking up at the roof of the car as he brings his hand around the curve of your ass, flesh hand finding your pussy that's still throbbing from how hard he had made you cum.
You can feel the smooth band of the engagement ring that you'd been wearing all evening repeatedly caress a large vein on the side of his dick - you remove your hand from him, causing him to snap his head back down to look at you. You bring your other hand to remove the ring from your finger, planning to tuck it into a cup holder for safekeeping while you use your hands on him.
“Leave it on,” he breaks the thick silence when he realizes what you're doing. “Want you to keep wearing it.”
You push the ring back down on your finger, his command sending a fresh wave of arousal to your core. You're extending your hand back to his cock when he cuts you off, pulling you to him and across his lap.
You straddle him, his erection locked between your pussy lips and his lower belly. You move forwards, and then backwards - earning another deep groan from him as you coat the underbelly of his cock in your juices. You grind up and down against him several times, until you're feeling impossibly empty and can't take the feeling of not having him inside you any longer.
You lift yourself up on the balls of your feet, high enough for him to guide himself to your entrance. He teases your hole with his head - or at least tries to, before you're sinking yourself down onto his length. You go still for a moment when he's fully inside you, giving you both time to adjust to the new, overwhelming sensation of each other.
You begin to ride him, slowly at first - he stretches you blissfully sweet and soon you're picking up the pace, your ass bouncing off of his thighs with each comedown.
He places a hand on the back of your neck, pulling your face down to his in a sloppy, searing kiss. It hits you that he's inside you raw right now, and you're just now kissing. You taste yourself on him, warm and salty sweet. He sweeps his tongue along your bottom lip and you open up for him, letting him explore your mouth from the perfect angle that he's at beneath you.
He continues to kiss you but removes his hand from the back of your neck, moving both of them to cup your ass. He begins to meet your movements with his own, thrusting himself upwards so that his cock is ramming into that sweet spot of your cervix and sending you towards a second climax.
“Feel so fuckin’ good,” you moan into his mouth, breaking the kiss for air. Your encouragement spurs him on, increasing the speed of his thrusts. Your legs turn to jelly beneath you, but he's got you - he holds you up by your ass cheeks and leans forward to take one of your nipples in his warm mouth.
It's enough to send you over the edge again. Your orgasm builds, heat exploding through your abdomen as his movements grow erratic and he spills into you from below.
He stills beneath you when you're both spent, your chest heaving against his. You make no effort to remove yourself from him, and he seems more than happy to keep you right where you are - his arms locking around your waist and pulling you close to him.
“I guess now would be as good of a time as any to ask you if you'd like to go on a date with me sometime?”
“Go on a date with you sometime?” You lean back, looking down with him with the limited amount of moonlight and neon lighting that breaks through the tinted windows. “We dressed up real nice, slow danced, spied on a bad guy, ate greasy diner food, played arcade games, and you're inside me as we speak. I think it's safe to say we're currently on a date.”
He snorts, breaking into laughter beneath you. “A second date, then,” he concedes. “I would love to take you on a second date.”
♡♡♡♡♡
thank you for reading!!! kind of nervous to put this one out there tbh, i've been working on it off and on for weeks but i love how it turned out and i hope you all do too. as always comments and reblogs are very appreciated 💕
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