#so instead i just rant to ppl who have no idea what going on

[a-wild-things-rambles]

🙃<- has so many bitchy opinions but dousent want to cause drama

[lycanr0t]

if you'd like to share your thoughts on gay trans man marcille i'd love to read them and/or see your art of him! (no pressure of course!)

oh man will I share my thoughts dfjkh I was maybe going to eventually make a post to ramble about it but this gives me the perfect excuse to now :J

This ranting WILL have spoilers for anime only fans/ppl who haven't finished the manga!

Marcille is interesting to read as a gay trans man though. Because how I see it, during the events of the manga he would not know he's trans! Or at most, he would maybe have some Gender Feelings but he wouldn't really understand it yet.

To me, Marcille is the type who would at first do everything in his power to deny it/convince himself he isn't trans. I think he would have a fair bit of internalized transphobia just as a result of his fairly rigid way of going about things. He has specific standards for himself especially but also for others.

This is where my gay trans man headcanon for Falin comes in lol.

Not for romance reasons specifically, but because I think the way Marcille treats Falin when looked at through the lens of Marcille being a trans egg is especially interesting.

For my Falin headcanon, I see Falin as a gay trans man as well, but I think that he wouldn't be out to Marcille until after the events of the manga. This is very integral to how I view Marcille's gender discovery happening.

I think that during the time they're in school together, Marcille would have feelings for Falin that are confusing. In Marcille's mind they're both girls, so he must just be a girl into girls, right? Meanwhile Falin performs girl wrong and this challenges Marcille's worldview. Marcille cares for Falin, and this manifests as Marcille trying to 'help' Falin perform girl better. Basically, Marcille doubling down on his currently held beliefs of what gender is and how it functions instead of considering that it may not be that simple, and he and/or Falin may not be a girl. Falin I think would not bring up being trans for a few reasons but primarily that boy is just not big on conflict with people especially those he cares for.

But anyways. A perfect example of Marcille forcing his idea of correct gender performance being in a daydream hour page where Falin is drawn with short hair, and Marcille is visibly pretty upset by it. (I don't have the translated image but here it is)

I know that it seems like a small thing that doesn't hold much weight, and it's not technically canon but trans mens hair is often something that people feel that they need to control. A girl cutting her hair short is seen as this horrible, unacceptable thing. Now again, obviously Falin doesn't canonically cut his hair short, but the fact that Marcille would be upset and specifically wants it long again informs us about his view of these things. I think that hair being useful for magic would end up being a justification for both being upset by the concept of Falin with short hair, and a justification to himself on why he is not allowed to experiment with shorter hair. It's more practical for his line of work/study, so it's a perfect excuse to just never think about if he TRULY loves it long or if he is just doubling down on performing what's expected of him.

Marcille is a KING of appearing way more uptight than he is. He's very by the books, very strict seeming about doing magic right, but he also specifically primarily has interest in the most taboo magic. He's the loudest about complaining about eating monsters, but he's also the first one to outright say that if they have to eat demihumans then so be it. Marcille is full of contradicting feelings and actions and I think he's prone to trying to fit into what people expect but his heart isn't fully in it so he still ends up doing the unexpected as well.

Even after the manga, Marcille has lost his desire to take care of his hair but he honestly doesn't seem... that upset by it? He is upset, sure, but for something that appeared to be a pretty big thing for him he accepts it shockingly smoothly. Almost as if perhaps, it's a relief to have an excuse to try something different. To try shorter hair maybe? Because now he has an excuse other than doing gender 'wrong'. It would feel safer to explore.

Aand I have a TON of other thoughts but this is getting pretty long and I'm losing track of my thoughts SO I'm going to drop a small list of some other random half formed thoughts I think about in relation to Marcille being a gay trans man

marcille being half elf half tallman and the parallel between that and being trans and how when you're trans you're alienated and isolated. in society's eyes youre not fully a man, not fully a woman, you're both and neither and othered in a complicated way

everyone assuming marcilles wish is to become 'full elf' also is interesting to compare to the experience of people viewing being trans as 'wishing you were X gender' in a very binary way

marcille asking if his dad is pregnant in a flashback just feels like something a trans egg kid would say

marcilles overall attachment to his father tbh.

marcille being super into romance novels and specifically his succubus presenting as a pretty boy from his novels. Obviously this can be read romantic or whatever but I know personally a lot of characters I was obsessed with as a child that I thought was romantic attraction turned out to be a combination of attraction and wanting their gender expression. I think it's interesting to read into marcille's interest in romance novels as him finding a 'safe' way to explore his attraction to men and desire to be a man without actually acknowledging that directly. (a lot of irl gay trans men do similar before they realize theyre gay trans men!)

Aaand that's my thoughts for now lmao. Here's some pen doodles I did while figuring out how I wanted to draw post-canon marcille :> Still working on figuring him out but I like how these look! I like the idea of him having some facial hair (not very long as elves seem to not be able to grow much body hair) and probably cutting his hair so it's more shoulder length and a bit easier to manage!

[godisg4y]

He's a 10, but-

Tokyo revengers

TMG edition

A/n : please if u have any good ideas you'd like to add to my ones, pls reply them in the comments. I would LOVE to hear more of these, tyy

>Mikey, draken, mitsuya, chifuyu, takemitchi, baji, kazutora, smiley, angry, hakkai.

MIKEY

-He's a 10, but constantly bothers you to buy him food (mostly doyaraki)

-He's a 10 but talks about his motorcycle more like it's his gf than you 😭. "Ah, listen to my baby, isn't she so beautiful?" Mikey, it's a FUCKING BIKE.

-He's a 10 but sometimes he kills people and all his friends on a dark impulse lmfao

-sorry that was uncalled for, anyways

-He's a 10 but he falls asleep on you (or any surface really) CONSTANTLY. Like you just be ranting abt smth and realize you're not getting replies and when you look he's passed out next to you with a half eaten doyaraki in his mouth.

-it's a cute but seriously it's happened way too many times now, even in the weirdest places

- He's a 10 but almost burned down your kitchen trying to make ramen. Don't ask me how he managed that but he's not allowed in the kitchen anymore

-He's a 10 but makes wierd noises when he's bored. Like you just be chilling and this mf stars making pterodactyl noises???

-He's a 10 but you cannot watch a movie with him cause he constantly asks STUPID FUCKING QUESTIONS. Like idk if his brain just blanks or he gets sidetracked or what but it's irritating.

-"who's this one? Do we know him?" that's the Mc Mikey, it's abt him. "Didn't that guy die??" no that was his twin! "wtf there's 2 of them? Since when?" since the beginning-. "Oh, wait is that his gf???" no Mikey that's his mom "that's his mom?! No way, she's too hot" MIKEY!!

DRAKEN

-He's a 10. Actually no, he's a 20. That's all. Thanks for comming to my Ted talk/ jk jk

- He's a 10 but has to constantly bend his body to walk through every single door in your place (or most places for that matter)

-He's a 10 but can't pick up on any social clues related to flirting. Like he immediately picks up on when his friends are sad or need help but try to flirt with this guy, all u get is a blank stare and a "wtf" reaction LMAO

-He's a 10 but his room sounds like a hanime at night 💀( it's Canon bc I say so now stfu)

-He's a 10 but enjoys jazz music??

-He's a 10 but went through a mid life crisis and decided to go bald at 27.

- DOrAkEgG-kun

-I can't think of anything else

CHIFUYU

- He's a 10 but communicates his problems with his cat instead of you

- He's a 10 but rants to peke j about your dates with him like love struck schoolgirl (don't ask me how I know he does that, I just do)

-He's a 10 but cancels plans with stupid excuses bc he's scheduled his whole Saturday to reading manga. (me too bby.. Me too)

- He's a 10 but his favorite genre of anything is romance

- He's a 10 but only listens to breakup or crush related pop songs, not the passable ones, the kind that gets cringey af after you hear them constantly (like Olivia Rodrigo's)

- He's a 10 but sometimes he gives pick me Boi vibes, not the ones that would openly put others down but the type that like goes out of his way to seem likeable if he wants ur attention. Like he's only pick me-ish when it comes to you, not the vast majority.

-He's a 10 but despite being so cheerful and confident he's shy af when it comes to cute ppl / ones he likes. He has 0 game whatsoever likes he's super chill and fun with everyone but when it's his crush he goes braindead and awkward LMAOO

-He's a 10 but if he has a crush on you, he will 100% stare at you CONSTANTLY but never have the guts to talk to u.

- He's a 10 but religiously believes in big tiddie goth gf supremacy.

-unrelated to the post but I'm almost positive this guy is pansexual

TAKEMITCHI

-He's actually like an 8 ngl, I don't make the rules. anyways

-He's a 10 but he got caught lacking TWICE

-jk jk, he's a 10 but sometimes he holds ur little brothers hand instead of yours 💀

-I'm sorry I'll stop. He's a ten but pretended to be a super hero all the way up till 8

-He's a 10 but he uses so much hair jel it's actually unhealthy

-He's a 10 but he thinks wearing baggy and sagging pants makes him cool

-He's a 10 but he accidentally called you mom once, we act like it never happened (not in a sexual way dw)

- He's a 10 but all his shoes look like they were popular in the 80's

-He's a 10 but his room gives the feeling of deadbeat father and a 5 yr old problem child in one (I can't explain this one)

- He's a 10 but he goes into a corner and plays that snake game on his flip phone in solitude whenever he feels socially awkward somewhere

BAJI

-He's a 10 but tries to convince you to commit arson with him whenever he's bored

-He's a 10 but get random bursts of energy to litterally runs up to something then kick it. It's like this:

you're walking together

Monke sees action baji sees trash can

processing said trash can

*impulse activated*

run to trash can

kick as hard as humanly possible

niceeee

-He's a 10 but has a habit of doing the most regular things a little too aggressively, it's not really his fault cause it's not on purpose, it just happens. Like he accidentally slams doors and draws or places things down too roughly where it makes loud noises and ur a lil concerned ngl. (like glass bowls n shit)

-He's a 10 but uses two in one shampoo. Never does his hair either it just styles itself so perfectly like man.. fuck you

-He's a 10 but punches random guys for fun LMAO

-He's a 10 but pesters you for food like a 5 yr old, also he still likes his "Dino nuggies" but don't tell his friends that...or do, he doesn't care

-He's a 10 but his mom does all his, laundry and still tiddies his room whenever

- Not that he bothers her to do it for him, she just does

- He's a 10 but his mom is a fucking 20, don't @ me

- He's a 10 but he can't read...or spell. But we love him, precious dumbass <3

(Hey I'm baji, I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read)

KAZUTORA

-He's a 10 but he constantly gaslights you for the most mundane things.

*takes off light*

*walks out and comes back in to se light on*

"Babe didnt I switch this off?"

"no it was just like this"

"Oh.."

-He's a 10 but if u mention his younger self hair style he'll threaten to hit u with a wrench (playfully ofc!...unless)

-He's a 10 but one time he accidentally killed his friends brother and went to juvie LMFAOO, life's just like that. It eez what it eez

- He's a 10 but uses the phrase "I went to jail once mother fucker I'm not scared to go again" almost everytime someone picks a fight with him

-He's a 10 but he's overly skeptical of ALL your friends and family. Like whenever u take him to your get togethers or family gatherings he just fucking sits there looking at everyone with the most judgmental expressions ever.

isn't that your "creepy uncle" who went to jail For smth?

Was it pedophilia?

Idk, he just looks like a pedo to me

WE GET IT BUT DON'T SAY SHIT SO OPENLY, PPL CAN HEAR YOU TORA 💀

-He's a 10 but gets genuinely upset when you borrow his jackets, like most guys find it cute and he's like "Hey that's mine! Give it back u rat!"

-He's a 10 but gives cringey emo boy/anime villian worthy speeches about life whenever you two argue

-He's a 10 but had a crush on one of his teachers a time

-He's a 10 but he has daddy issues... And mommy issues... And just issues in general

-He's a 10 but tells you the most weirdest conspiracy theories he has. About the government, aliens, lizard ppl, the pyramids, the Bermuda triangle, everything.

MITSUYA

-He's a fucking 20+. Fight me

-there is litterally no fault in this man. He is perfection.

-OK fine, he's a 10 but somehow goes through episodes of depression and workaholicness in one like?? Pick a struggle, just one

- He's a 10 but his beard/ mustache started growing when he was only 14

- It causes it to grow very quickly now so if he goes a day without shaving u will see a little stubble there lmaoo

-He's a 10 but organizes your shit for you the same way he does for his sisters lmaoo. I guess it's just a force of habit

-Like he'll notice a few of your stationery scattered around your desk and he's already re-organizing everything.

-He's a 10 but he steals your plushies to practice his sewing skills.

-Makes mini sweaters and clothes for your them, and whenever you can't find them and ask, they're in takashi's room "modeling" as he claims

-He's a 10 but he makes your family love him more than they love you without even trying. Like fuck you omg

NAHOYA (smiley)

-He's a 10, but he tries to "play" fight you every single time you two are left alone together.

-like the others would go inside McDonald's to order food and then come back out to find you two acting out some sort of fake karate moves on each other

-you also beat up eachothers shadows and act like ur getting hurt 💀

-He's a 10 but you have to LITTERALLY beg and plead with him to not murder guys who catcall you. He still throws hands left n right tho

-He's a 10 but he sends u the most random shit at 4 in the morning. And when I say random, I mean RANDOM

- He's a 10 but calls you "bro, dude and bruh" as affectionate nicknames

-He's a 10 but never wears matching socks. Like it's become a habit now to just grab whichever ones are closest and he honestly does not care. "whatever they can't see my socks anyways"

-they can. But according to him it's a fashion statement

-He's a 10 but brings his little brother to your dates sometimes

-then gets jealous when u give souya more attention than him. But who can blame you? We Stan our blueberry little bean. Must protecc

SOUYA (angry)

-He's a 10...actually he's like a 12 tbvh

-He's a 10, but sometimes he treats you more like a mom or big sister than his actual s/o 💀

-He's a 10, but he gets lost easily, so he clings to your arm like a fucking koala EVERY time ur in public together

-he also follows you around like a lost puppy, EVERYWHERE. Mf waits outside the washroom untill ur done-

-He's a 10 but he MUST. ALWAYS. be the little spoon when cuddling, ALWAYS. (I see this as an absolute win)

-He's a 10 but he has a habit of stealing your blanket in the middle of this night and discarding his own? Or if it's one blanket he just hogs all in his sleep.

-mfs lucky he's so cute otherwise I would've started throwing hands for this shii long ago.

-He's a 10 but he just can't make decisions for himself istg. He will ponder everything for 10 minutes, not decide, ask your opinion and when u give him it he always goes with your opinion. I mean that's nice but sweetie... Think for yourself atleast sometimes T-T

-He's a 10 but he once thought his big brother liked you so he tried to ignore your very existence lmfao but nahoya thought it was his way of being awkward with you. Untill a day he found him crying about it and got the real reason

(proceeded to explain that he didn't like you like that and you're like "one of his homies". Also helped him get closer with you)

HAKKAI

-He's a 10 but he's more romantically interested in mitsuya than you, his s/o

- I'm joking, I'm joking... not really we all know it's true

-Also he's not a 10, he's a 100. I will fist fight anyone who disagrees

-He's a 10 but he's super awkward around any other female or femmine like person except you (if ur a gorl) and yuzuha to the point where he seems rude

-He's a 10 but similar to souya he also can't really make desicions on his own so he just uses yours

-He's a 10 but he acts more like your lil bro that u look after rather than a bf. It just happens cause you're so close with yuzuha and u guys are always treating him like your precious baby that he just automatically reacts like that.

Walking together

-He's a 10 but he sees you kinda like a sugar mommy. Despite being rich, he just likes the feeling of when u get him the things he wants and he knows u like getting him things so there's no problem with asking, not that he ever has to ask bc the second u see him interested in smth ur already getting it for him.

Sees cute Keychain

Oh! Y/nn~ look at that panda chain! Its so cute

*immediately buys him said Keychain*

-He a 10 but he has actual mommy issues and needs you to take care of those needs for him. Which is why he feels so nice when u get him things and do stuff for him. Always making sure he's okay and showering him in affection. He feels the most loved like that.

-He's a 10 but has a, picture of his soulmate "best friend" as his wallpaper and not you

[onesidedradiostatic]

God I am so so so sry for this but I got this idea at 4am and had to execute it so uh. Leitner rant but voxs turtleneck lets go

tw many caps ig

VOXS TURTLENECK?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING VOXS TURTLENECK GODDAMN RED FOOL BAD QUALITY DUST EATING RAT OLD BACKGROUND DETAIL SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST FANDOM DRAMA IN HAZBIN LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN KNITTED MOTHER FUCKING VOXS TURTLENECK

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT VOXS TURTLENECK I HATE IT SO MUCH WHY DID IT HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP COLOR VARIATIONS WHY DID IT DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST TO HAVE STRIPES INSTEAD IS IT CURSED IS IT BASTARD TURTLENECK HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS TURTLENECK IN DETAIL AND I KNOW IT HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST KNIT PATTERN

GET AWAY FROM ME

If I wanted to go to heaven and god said Voxs Turtleneck somehow got there and is waiting inside Id piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

If I have to deal with Voxs Turtleneck changing one more time in asks/rbs on onesidedradiostatic in tumblr not only will I close the the tab I will delete my tumblr account out of spite and have to build my following up again for the sole purpose of being able to ignore when it is mentioned or existing

I dont even know why I hate it so much its a low quality background detail but I am mad because I am angy

IT better have some fucked up answer to explain this if hes just some yellow striped sweater who Vox found at a garage sale and bought to wear once Ill go ham BETTER have the it make Vox even less appealing to alastor bc if it didnt Im going to make it

Paypal.com/IFuckingHateVoxsTurtleneck

Posts not even about him vaguely referenced whats supposed to maybe be a red turtleneck and I lost it

Where the fuck is Voxs Turtleneck if its still around Im going to so deeply wish it wasnt

Old ass knitted red sweater Ill punch Voxs Turtleneck and it sad frail old woolen rib knit pattern will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and it will disintegrate until all thats left of it is one strand of wool reads 'Now you fucked up' in old english

Im not breathing Im hyperventilating at this point I hope theres a confirmation given for what Voxs Turtleneck is or will be so I can stop arguing with ppl on tumblr abt it andthen everyday once a year I will do anything but think abt what is the color of a knitted turtleneck that belonged to a man who is still obsessing over someone who turned him down once and disappeared entirely for 7 yrs

__

Once again I am so sry Im going to sleep now. Have fun with voxs turtleneck (its red and knitted there are no stripes)

HELP WHAGTSYUHSOJD I had to search up what the original copypasta was oh my god

[pistachi0art]

omg imagine reblogging my post 3 times?? 🥰 to not even give yourself a good defense, d’awww 🤭

But in all realness why even bother replying at this point? You say you don’t care/that it’s over only to then rant and post about how much people hate you. And what’s even funnier is you also pulling out the minority card with every 5 posts because you HAVE to make it clear, in a community full of ppl who also are probably like you in that regard, that you are apparently the “underdog” who’s being attacked by the “mean antis”!

And to then say that i’m the one being irresponsible for informing my friends/mutuals about your degenerate ass behavior is also really funny, because I wouldn’t have even made the callout in the first place had you just kept your illegal sexual fantasies to yourself! And don’t even try dragging the A03 filters into this bc hey! Guess what dipshit, some people just want to look at the recent fics without having to go through the hassle of trying to filter out every single gross thing you decided to tag! And next to that sometimes people want to look at darker fics without having to read about traumatic events! simple as that.

Not only that people here just sometimes don’t want to check every account bio to make sure that whoever’s post they liked/reblogged isn’t a creep! you keep making points that seem to fly over your head, but you said it yourself, my fan base has minors in it! What if they saw a post, like your recent drawing, and just went and liked it. I know for a fact your ass isn’t going through every single account to make sure that whoever interacted isn’t a minor/anti.

(Also nice job screenshotting every satirical hate comment! Aw what, they said something mean/negative? don’t worry AGAIN you said it yourself, it’s not real so it doesn’t matter! Psst guess what? Tumblr too has a fascinating filter called the delete button! Maybe you could use that and ignore the “haters”!)

It’s clear you must have a very strong humiliation kink. No shame to that but I’m sure you can find healthier options! Oo here’s a good idea! Maybe write about that instead of children!

Better yet go to a mental health consultant and get evaluated! I’m sure they’ll have plenty to say about how this isn’t healthy in any aspect for you, nor is posting about it online!

(Btw did you know that most medical mental health professionals say that your behavior is more likely to be a trauma response from an event within your childhood? Fascinating stuff right? isn’t great to know that your potentially kicking up a whole new wave of people who could potentially become pedophiles because you’re attempting to normalize it? Fun!)

anywho, nice talk! If you really didn’t care you’d block me and move on 💖

[endtown]

the amazing bear and nadine fic. chapter 1. 1,268 words.

hello all. it is kc. i was thinking earlier today about how much i miss writing the stupidest fanfic of all time without any kind of thought or planning like i did when i was 13. and i don't really involve myself in fandom spaces, so i decided.... why. not just do that for my ocs?

i'll update this post (or the next) with an actual summary when i come up with one, but i'm sort of just going with the flow for now. for the time being, i'll try to update this weekly or biweekly, and i have no idea where it will lead. so uh, feel free to leave suggestions and stuff if that's what ppl do.

anyways, enjoy!

It was normal for Bear to struggle with sleep. It was something that he usually didn’t mind, but the past few days, he had actually been resting well. So as he watched the clock on the wall, it all felt a lot more defeating than usual. Whenever he got more than one night of good sleep, there was always this small hope that maybe this meant things would just be better.

A naive thought, sure, but he couldn’t help it.

There was a typical routine that he went through when this kind of thing happened. Lay in bed for a while, hope to sleep, decide that wasn’t going to happen, and head into the little makeshift kitchen they’d set up in the library attic. There, he could listen to the radio and eat. Or read whatever book he was interested in that week. Or maybe, if he was feeling especially brave, even write in a journal. But typically, by this point, he’d given up. The goal was no longer to sleep, but instead, to pass the time before work.

After a bowl of cereal without milk, and some time spent listening to a man on the radio talk about the science of stars, Bear decided he was done waiting. It was a quick drive over to the only gas station in the town of Palmyra, leaving him 30 minutes early to open up but... Well, Bert wouldn't mind. If anything, Bert would go on some long rant about how Bear was one of the few in his generation with actual work effort, and whatever else older guys who were kind of balding liked to talk about.

(It was always something about "I wish my kids were this motivated." And Bear never said it out loud, but he wished sometimes that he wasn't.)

It was just him at this hour, Bert wouldn't show up for a few more. He had never minded opening the shop early, though. There was a sort of peace that came with the soft flicker of the lights as they turned on, the sound of a mop against the floor as he cleaned up, and the radio playing softly in the background.

Jean jacket always stays on at first, while he waits for the heat, but it's taken off and thrown over his chair behind the counter after a while. By the time the door is unlocked, he is stood in one of the aisles with a box of chips to unpack, dressed in simple jeans and a shirt. His boots were work boots, plain and simple. Only worn because they were borrowed.

It was early, meaning that aside from the occasional bell, there really wasn't much noise. At a certain point, Bear even decided to sit behind the counter for a bit with one of the books he was working through. This one, Lenny had promised, was a classic. The Outsiders. Just the right size book for a day like this one.

And while he can read through quite a bit, he certainly cannot read through the loud, obnoxious arguing that comes with a couple pushing in the doors at six, loudly insisting on including everyone in their debate. Well, everyone meant Bear, because who the fuck else was there to talk to?

(Passing cars? The only thing near the gas station was trees and the highway.)

The argument was over dinner plans, or something. He didn't care enough to try and work it all out, and instead focused on trying to finish the page he was on. But, mid thought, one half of the couple comes right up to the front desk.

"Can I get the bathroom key?"

Their hair is bright pink, matching nails and makeup. The outfit that they've got on is not only bright for a small town like this, but far nicer (and more revealing) than what Bear was used to seeing in town. It was funny, considering whoever they were with was dressed a lot closer to Bear. Except this guy's shirt had some kind of sports branding, while Bear's was basic.

And though he fumbles for a moment, that could easily be blamed on the time of day. Key is produced from under the counter, handed off, and pinky is gone. Bear doesn't have to look up to know that the guy, (a boyfriend? protective friend? general creep? he couldn't tell), had been watching the whole thing. With his partner gone, though, the stranger takes to finally looking throughout the place for something.

He comes up after a bit with some chips and a couple of energy drinks. The same brand Bear had at the beginning of his shift. The process of scanning them in is typical, reading out the total of around seven dollars to the guy, and waiting. Because the guy could just pay, and they could not deal with each other anymore. But of course not.

He pats his pockets, before groaning. "Fuck. I left Nadine with my fucking wallet." He mutters, and without saying much else, wanders off. There is another ring as the front door closes behind him, and Bear wonders for a moment if that will just be it. But the banging on the bathroom door and the yelling that follows is loud enough to be heard through the walls. So when the guy comes back in, Bear is not shocked to see how angry he seems.

"Have you got like. A fuckin'.... Extra key, or some shit? They won't answer the fucking door." And he wonders for a moment if the guy is worried about his potential ...whatever they were. But no, this is just pure anger. Bear doesn't get a second to even think before the guy is waving a hand in his face to make sure he's following along. So with a quiet nod, Bear produces the backup key. Of course.

It is an awkward walk out to the little bathroom they have set up, and Bear gives a gentle knock just to make sure he isn't going to open the door on anyone. But once again, nothing. The entire time, whatever this guy's name is, is muttering to himself about how much of a bitch Nadine was, and whatever else. It was less muttering, and more... whisper-yelling? Once again, making it hard to focus.

But Bear does get the door open. And inside? Yeah, absolutely nothing. Not even the original bathroom key had been left behind.

"THAT FUCKING BITCH STOLE MY WALLET!" Comes from behind him, making Bear jump just a bit, but it doesn't matter. It seems that interest has been entirely lost in the gas station worker, as the guy runs back to his shitty excuse for a sports car. Whatever he was doing, he was doing it without explanation and quickly. Well, as quickly as he could. There is two, three, four attempts to start the car before it goes. And then a few moments adjusting mirrors and settings before he finally drives off.

Bear is left with silence, again, as he watches the car disappear out of sight. Expression does not change, because not even an energy drink could perk him up to deal with shit like this. No, there is not a reaction from him until he hears a voice behind him.

"God. What a fuckin' loser."

And to his shock (dismay? he really didn't want to be in the middle of anything), he turns to see the pink haired stranger standing behind him, and in the middle of the tiny excuse for a bathroom.

Fuck this. He should've stayed in bed.

[seaweedbraens]

Yo it’s your local late night 6.5/10 PJOTV reviewer here to offer yet another perspective, especially after the new episode.

I think the core of the issue is that this show has two major MAJOR differences from the book, those being tone and pacing. The latter has been discussed a lot, and all i really have to add to that cesspool is that it is in fact very different and faster, leading to tighter story beats and less character development, which is the only thing i truly hate.

The tone thing hasn’t been talked about nearly as much as it should be, but i think it IS affected a ton of people’s perception of the show. The witty, dry humor of the first book that defined Percy and Annabeth as kids is kind of lacking a little? This is probably the fault of Rick attempting to write for TV and kinda struggling with humor. This makes the TV characters slightly different from the books, with Annabeth being more serious and less sarcastic, while Percy is just snarky sometimes instead of being an absolute little bitch. (This is also a lot because of the lack of narration BY Percy, where he can be a lot more humorous)

Without spoiling much, the newest episode fixes some of the issues with story and pacing elements, but still lacks in some development in terms of the subtext of the story, if that makes sense. The best part is that it reworks and redoes certain parts of the story in a way that just WORKS for TV and this specific cast.

Honestly, the only character that has 100% benefited from the change in focus with character development is Grover. The fact that the show just generally cares less about these characters somehow makes grover less of an anxious, shy companion and more of a fun, wholesome dude which i love SO MUCH!

About LMM as Hermes, i’m totally for it. LMM has pretty decent acting jobs, and the tired look he always has totally works with Hermes being canonically overworked as hell.

Another thing i do love that some people don’t is the Gabe changes. IDK how much you know, but the changing of Gabe is an unforeseen and interesting change. However, i like it because it makes Gabe a more dynamic character, and makes it possible to change who is in a negative light, rather than making him go from “abusive bitch” to “physically abusive bitch”. This all comes from someone intimately family with parental abuse and someone who loves reading fics that discuss Gabe AS a horrible abuser. Like, one of my fav PJO fics (that i did suggest to you) is an entire therapy fic about Percy dealing with that abuse and the scars of trauma. I know what i want from Gabe’s character is all i’m saying.

Finally, one last topic i wanna rant about on the internet is fucking LA Luke. They had absolutely no right to make this dude the most lovable bitch at camp. Hell, even the most anti-live action ppl out there can admit Luke got a lot more sympathetic in the show. Anyone can see they really cared about that aspect of the character. (not the weak-ass attempt at a scar tho lmao)

This entire rant and all of my (and everyone’s really) feelings can change drastically as soon as the next episode drops though, so take everything ANYONE says with a tablespoon of salt and a pile of blue food.

duly noted, and thank you for the update on your thoughts with the new episode, anon - it's so interesting to see thoughts change with every new one! i'll probably binge it all in one go at the end.

from what you've said, i think the gabe changes still bother me, but i'm all for a more likeable luke. that'll make the betrayal that much more painful. honestly, i've been toying lately with the idea of a later betrayal on luke's end, rather than at the end of book 1. i feel like we don't fully get to see how much percy trusts him and likes him in the limited time we get with them in the lightning thief. one day, maybe, i'll write a fic that really gives luke and percy the Bonding Time i think they deserve before the rug's pulled out from underneath percy's feet.

i wonder how your 6.5/10 rating will change by the end of the final ep!

[aregularhuman]

idk if this is controversial but is the neurodivergent label actually helpful outside of activism? like as an allistic adhd person i only relate occasionally to autistic people (mainly sensory issues tbh or social stuff but then again i have mad anxiety) n p much not at all to dyslexic/dyspraxic/etc people (the question of whether ocd n bpd are considered neurodivergencies is another question). but i keep seeing videos n stuff about ‘nd traits’ or ‘calling all nds’ and it seems like it’s become a quirky shorthand mainly used by autistic/audhd people that doesn’t feel like it includes nd allistics? im not saying everything should be focused around me me me, just that if you mean autistic just say autistic rather than neurodivergent.

I guess this kinda ties in with the whole (saw a tiktok and did no actual research) self diagnosis/quirkification of nd + mental illness online. (I’m v much pro informed self dx bc of costs n accessibility n consequences of having an official dx esp for autistics w housing n kids). I also think even if ur diagnosed making light hearted ‘put a finger down nd edition’ videos should b done w caution bc they often inadvertently contribute to the trivialisation of the struggles faced by nd ppl. you have to be aware of who your content reaches- tt/ insta is v different from tumblr/reddit lol.

and while I’m on this rant I hate the ‘neurotypical bad and complicated, neurodivergent good and direct’ narrative too. neither is good nor bad, just different. you gotta find your people because no one owes it to you to change their entire communication style just for you. just like I have to make an effort to do small talk etc with nts I have to focus on what I’m saying and explicitly spell out certain things when talking to my autistic friends. I understand people are hurt by nts being unaccepting and actually ableist and so go into this ‘I’m special and better than them’ mindset but it’s just not helpful imo.

I also feel like nd people find it hard to accept that you can be hella annoying and people finding you annoying isn’t ableist. I can be annoying as fuck and I try not to be- instead of going ‘ugh I can’t help interrupting people all the time and never letting them finish a thought- they’re being ableist’, I try n number the ideas I’m having and wait for the other person to finish or say ‘hey can I quickly add something before I forget and then you can continue’ and listen if they tell me to hold on a sec. relationships are about compromise n that’s not ableist.

maybe it’s just me not feeling like I fit in the ‘adhd is a gift’ narrative or the neurodivergent movement. I hate having adhd and would do anything to not have it. I do struggle to call it a disability tbh but I accept that that’s partially internalized ableism bc I can temporarily convince myself that I can function unmedicated n then I have exams n I fall apart…

anyway if anyone has thoughts pls do lmk

[positivelypositive]

Hihihi ! First of all wanna say I love ur page sm ty for posting ur personal motivational messages!! They are always so comforting. <333

I just wanted to rant about my major, since I’m in college and that’s like my whole life right now haha.. I keep struggling with getting bad grades (not failing, but not amazing enough to go to a good graduate school in the future). Even though it’s very common since I’m a STEM major in a fairly tough school/major, it doesn’t stop me from feeling like a failure and that I’ll never get better.. I know that I need to just keep taking steps to improve myself and my grades, but it’s so especially hard when my friends in the class are really complacent, settling for the bad grades and not trying to be creative with ways to improve themselves. They choose to be lazy instead and deal with the consequences by dropping a class or a minor that isn’t easy (relatively). I have one other friend in my major who is as motivated as me to do really well, but she isn’t doing the same minor that I’m aiming to do — so we don’t have those classes in common to relate with and help/motivate each other on. So if I’m struggling in the classes for my minor, I know my friends won’t be much help because they’re probably struggling more than me ! Or if they aren’t, they just aren’t as helpful in explaining things because they don’t have an intuitive grasp on it if that makes sense, and would rather just give me their answers.

Anyways, it’s just an overall frustrating experience, but I saw that u were accepting rants hahaha and I kinda needed to get this off my chest. What would u do in my situation? Try to maybe make some new friends? It’s hard because I try to avoid people with big egos (bc they’re annoying 😭 but sometimes they end up being the smartest/most motivated…) but I could also try going out of my comfort zone to meet new ppl, but I also have social anxiety so it’s scary hahahha

Much love 💕

hey anon,

thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you took up my offer to rant and shared freely. lastly, i'm sorry if i'm getting back to you late. i have been away from my account for a little while and only saw this today.

now, on to what you shared- i want to begin by telling you how proud i am of you. you want to do better even when those surrounding you are complacent. that takes serious motivation. you're awesome!

as for not having someone to motivate you to do even better- i'm in a field where none of my friends or family had any experience so i was a loner for most of my career. eventually, i found people to share with but i understand where you're coming from.

i think youtube used to and still helps me the most. try to look up efficient study methods for your specific subjects or course type. now, it can get overwhelming because youtubers have their on-camera, pretty lives in extreme order.

what you want to do is start small. maybe pick one idea that you see common amongst a few videos and try implementing that. see if it works and then keep adding slowly.

remember to not overdo it. perfection is overrated and for a sincere person as yourself, it can quickly turn demotivating.

take care of yourself anon. you sound like a very pleasant person. feel free to drop by for another rant, anytime. sending you warmth and positive vibes ✨

[fatalelity]

oh yeah here's tav! addison (or as i like to say ... taddie. bc haha tadpole .... okay bye)

basic rundown ( spoilers for act i mainly ) :

she was born to a dynasty of surgeons, doctors, spellcasters etc in baldur's gate

she's a medical doctor — trained surgeon to be precise, but god she is not a cleric and will go on a 'not all doctors are clerics fuck you' rant

a lover of wine, literature, and just having a good time mostly

she's a pacifist at heart so you can imagine how she feels with what happened to the goblins (yes, my party's on permanent knock ppl out mode)

oh on that note, she became an accidental necromancer... hahaha

being a variation of tav, she's special in the way that she has an innate ability to turn back time (never forward) — if you're familiar at all with "reset theories" this is what i'm going for. for those who don't know, the tldr is that she will remember every event that happens even if she goes to another spot in time (aka reloading a save state). she can't will it to happen. it triggers upon intense emotional responses. it's only been triggered twice in game. it'll take a toll on her and she won't be able to rest for at least two nights

so, that being said she is a sorcerer!

her main party at the moment are with shadowheart, karlach, and gale

she's definitely polyamorous. she has intense feelings for both shadowheart and gale, which is one of the points in the timeline that fucks her up the most

she really does like karlach, but probably wouldn't try to pursue a romance or whatever with her. they vibe. they get angry together. it's fun /*shrugs*

ACT ONE.

she accidentally got lae'zel killed by the tieflings who held her captive — she thought they'd leave the other in her hands but alas. they went into battle, rolled initiative and she wasn't fast enough to stop people... she still feels horrible about it

she's spurred events that lead to the druids attacking the tieflings twice — those were her two resets. she still feels guilty about it, even though the current timeline they are fine... mostly

needless to say, she did not side with the goblins. whilst she actively tried not to kill them, it's hard not to when you use magic and your self preservation instincts kick in

she didn't actually kill minthara, knocked her out real good and hoped she lived

she consumed a tadpole once and that was that

got beef with astarion, tbh they probably would've had hate sex or something idk man. it's a weird relationship she's either being really nice to him or roasting him alive

actively trying to get shadowheart the fuck outta sharran but like, won't judge her for her faith bc it's all she's got since her memories are literally taken away

she's learned to lie real well since travelling with the cohort

scratch, owlbear, arabella, plus mol's gang are her kids. do not fuck with them. i'm serious. she almost killed kagha during the first reset because of it.

unfortunately due to her being single minded of wanting to get the gang to baldurs gate and find answers, unless she sees your suffering, gets lost herself, and/or its something related to her personally she will not engage in the side quests

that being said, they did spend some time in the underdark but very briefly because they got lost and ended back in the camp

so instead, she opts to go through the mountain pass but again got lost and ran into ethel

she accidentally uses necromancy to make mayrina's husband er ... undead. needless to say she feels like a sack of shit for doing that and wants to undo it but this is ultimately mayrinas choice so she let's them be

since on the topic of necromancy, she does still have that cursed necromancy of thay book in possession. no idea what to do with it but yknow, it's not an active problem

in the mountain pass she will not make a detour to the creche, she will go straight to the shadow cursed lands

ACT TWO.

shes actively trying to not have gale go blow himself up... desperately.

there's some strain between her and the others minus karlach, her mvp ... the fires of avernus can sure be comforting in moments that feel so cold to her

I will say this : the decisions she makes here are NOT good. at this point she's mostly focused on keeping everyone alive and kinda forgot about the fact that halsin is Here to lift the curse

she follows kar'niss, does the whole cutscene at moonrise tower and reluctantly agrees to help balthazaar

she goes into his room and er, let's just say her party (NOT HER) took more than just the moonlantern

she will get lost because she's a rich girl from baldurs gate who never learned how to USE a compass ... anyways, let's say she does not go to the mausoleum first and ends up trekking backwards ....

before reaching last light inn, she meets the boy Oliver and plays only one round of hide n seek with him because she has a mission and that triggered the scene where she had to fight his family and pissed him off so royally that it locked her outta lifting the curse. oops. she doesn't know that though ...

when she finds dammon she will actually make the detour to find karlach her metal. she adores karlach. she wants her to live. she wants to give her a real hug.

during said metal excursion er .... let's say she finds her way into the house of healing and she found arabella's parents before arabella herself... the house of healing was where she did her first act of mercy killings outta the many

arabella obviously will stay in camp and tbh, she has this gnawing feeling so she looks around to see if there are any other surviving tieflings (there were not, she was distraught and during long rests the more restless companions can hear her cry in the corner)

i know she said no detours but she saw a night orchid by the cliff and HAD TO get it for shadowheart because God she would kill for some joy — shadowhearts little reaction / joke made her smile for the first time very sincerely

anyways, she finally finds their way into the mausoleum and ahahaha .... hahaha ....

the gauntlet of shar was probably one of the most painful things to witness shadowheart go through. she did not like it and in fact at some point she takes over and sacrifices her own blood

she ignores raphaels entire request lmao

uhm, I'd say what she did with balthazaar was er ... some misty steps, and she pushed him off a cliff out of self preservation

taps into shadowhearts goodness and let her lean into her own intuition which resulted in aylin being spared

after shadowhearts been exiled, she will literally do whatever means to comfort her oh dear God

jaheira does die in moonrise tower ... she feels like shit about it (lol what's new)

anyways, the big boss battle happens and they make their road to baldurs gate

ACT THREE.

say no to evolution god please. she hates the emperor and will do things to piss him off such as steal from the house of hope

she completes companion events in this order (as of now): shadowheart, astarion, karlach, wyll, gale

she didn't actively encourage shadowheart to kill her parents but shadowheart did; she DID actively encourage astarion to not ascend and free the spawns ... oops. monster hunters hate her so much rn

she's deeply tormented by orin. like i mean deeply. she's in despair. she wants it to stop so bad.

obviously she chooses aylin and isobel over some wizard in a tower

she wants to fist fight shar and mystra. so bad. she may be a healer but *cocks gun*

i will add more to this and then write a cohesive page as the game progresses here lol

[chenfleur]

GIRL YOU ARE FEEDING ME? TWO CHAPTERS IN A ROW???? (pls don't rush yourself with them or worry about posting everyday 💗)

No bcs hearing sunghoon out now kinda makes sense but like it doesn't??? I understand why he would shut people out. I do that too sometimes, and in all honesty random strangers are better to talk to at times rather than people who know you very well. But it still doesn't excuse his actions? Idk like I get it but I can't bring myself to sympathise with him that much. I am just ranting my opinion out rn 😭

Also I NEED A JUNGWON IN MY LIFE OMG MZNZMXNXX THAT WAS SO SWEET OF HIM AT THE END :(

ok i'm going to attempt to verbalize my thought process while writing this story (idk if it'll make a difference but u might be able to have a clearer vision of what i intended but might've failed to convey 😭)

the characters in this story are in their later years of high school and there's like this statistic of how a vast majority of hs relationships fail (not to say that they all do because that's not true).. there are like NUMEROUS reasons why this happens but from my personal experience, it has to do with how superficial most ppl don't realize their feelings are? like they're are getting into relationships just because they think "this person says they like me and i think i like them too. we should date" instead of i dunno. thinking a bit deeper about whether a relationship is a good idea/if they're ready for one?

and that's kind of what i wanted to show hyejin and sunghoon's relationship as—they broke up as soon as they stopped being in forced proximity (online school) with each other and realized they couldn't and didn't want to sustain their relationship, and i wanted to make sunghoon slowly have that realization (i dunno if its clear enough though😭)

the thing with sunghoon is that his main character flaw is a lack of sensitivity; like his heart isn't malicious by any means, he just isn't always aware of the effects he has on other people and sometimes would need to receive a reality check from an external source (i.e. other people) and i think what i wanted to happen was that he seriously just. wasn't really expecting y/n to blow up at him the first time and he's going to realize the extent of his actions just. gradually

ok i'm not trying to excuse his actions LOL but this is sort of what i had in mind for him as a character (?)

[canayams-art]

it's meee, the qianqing anon✨ it certainly been a while since ive been in your asks jsjdjdjd the uni has been crazy and the finals were approaching so i had to force my focus on studying instead of screaming about my faves to anyone who was willing to listen :") but now that that's out of the way for a while now because the second semester has already started, im free to go back to my deranged brainrots sjejejejjeke

OH I ALMOST FORGOT very very late merry christmas (if you celebrated) and happy new years!! 🎉🎉

im rewatching the second season of tgcf at the moment and im going crazy over the small lqq moments i missed in my first watch wjejejek he's just such an amazing character and soo 😍 i love/hate that im now restarting the angst 😭😭

SOMEHOW I ALSO MISSED THE BRIEF BLURRY SHI WUDU CAMEO AND I WAS SCREAMING ABOUT IT FOR HALF AN HOUR TO MY FRIEND!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM IN HIS FULL CORRUPTED GLORY IF WE EVER GET GHE BLACK WATER ARC ANIMATED!! he actually might be in my top three favorite characters from tgcf even if i don't talk about him nearly as much as i talk about mq

anyways. LQQ!! i know i already watched everything and i know that i know what's going to happen but man i am not prepared to go through that again! while i am EXTREMELY glad that we got to see him boil qr alive AND slice him in half, THE PAIN THE ANGUISH THE CONFLICT JWJWIEKEKKEJJE

i don't think i will be getting him out of my head anytime soon :")) im even more salty that he doesn't get a more important scenes later in the series :((

unfortunately ive been a bit brain-dead because of the most boring subjects in the world ughhh so i don't have any new lqq and mq thoughts :(( if you do pls share with me, im dying for every crumb of creativity available skkekekeke

also idk if i mentioned this in my last ask, but it makes me so happy that both you and your followers like these little lqq/mq rants 🥹 it makes me excited to share whatever new idea pops into my brain and know that there are somewhere ppl who get just as excited about them as i do

anyways, i hope you're doing well!! 😽😽

Welcome back qianqing anon!!!

I hope finals went well for you and that you’ve been able to catch your breath again. I also hope you enjoyed the holiday season!

Every time I see or think about donghua lqq I feel so grateful to the production team for depicting the way lqq feels and expresses himself so intensely. I know we all know this by now but his arc really is my favorite within the entire story,,, 🥹 It’s a shame we really only see him in the early chapters and the final ones— I genuinely think his story could easily be its own novel/extra.

Also where does shi wudu show up???! If it’s later in s2 then I haven’t spotted him yet cos I,,,,, still haven’t gotten around to finishing s2 (life got in the way of quality time in lqq land 😭). I feel you though— I find shi wudu interesting in such a way where I love his character but I also feel he 100% got what was coming to him LMAO. Blackwater arc is gonna be so wild to see.

But!! Back to qianqing lol. I was thinking earlier about the fact that lqq answers any personal communication array regardless of who is contacting him. Meanwhile mq haunts the public communication array but gives this vibe that not a lot of people have access to his personal array,,,, made me think about how mq seems like the type who always reaches out to lqq privately, knowing that lqq will always answer, but refuses to give his password in return. Lqq probably asked him once and mq probably told him something like “It’s pointless when I know you’ll answer me no matter what.” (Bonus: maybe mq finally decides to hand his password over when lqq ends up going down to the mortal realm to seek his revenge— like it’s mq’s way of telling lqq that he’s concerned but without flat out saying he’s concerned for lqq LOL)

Anyway! Please always feel free to slide into the inbox. I may be slow to reply to these but they really do make my day. The qianqing brainrot never sleeps 😂

[vintage-bentley]

I’m gendercrit but holy hell I’m still shocked at how bad those comments were. I love how so many of the negative ones are like “as a polyace as a trans gay guy as an asexual,” go on to insist that PIV can be gay, when they have absolutely zero stake or should have any opinion on homosexuality at all. I’m also sure the author is probably gay or lesbian and they jumped on them for this - chastising them for being a bad gay basically, a bigot a terrible person, because having an opinion that’s absolutely 100% correct and based in the reality of sex and calling out homophobia is a sure fire way to get yourself crucified by people who appropriate shit. These people are batshit insane and hate gay people. Author should do an updated essay where they’re even more upfront and angry tbh especially since this GO attitude of ‘they’re not human they can mix match sex and still be gay” has literally spread to other fandoms with human gay couples and so where’s this excuse now? They don’t respect gay characters and they def don’t understand or share any common goals with actual gay ppl

The worst thing about those people acting like they have any say on topics about homosexuality, is that you can’t tell them otherwise without being told you’re some sort of phobic!! When it comes to all their made up issues, they have no problem saying “only ace people get an opinion!” But when it comes to actual real issues regarding homosexuals, suddenly it’s open to everyone. I wonder if it has to do with the way they’ve hijacked the word gay to no longer mean homosexual, but to instead mean “anyone who wants to call themselves gay to feel special”. As in, they think they’re gay because they want multiple partners, so they get a say in anything regarding gay people.

It’s even worse with “trans gays”…because you know damn well they’re literally homophobic heterosexuals…but you can’t tell them that unless you want to be called transphobic. And you know they won’t listen to you when you say “Aiden, you’re a homophobic straight woman, you get no say on this topic” because they’re so self-absorbed and so caught up in their own ideology that they don’t even listen to anyone who begins to invalidate their fantasy.

Point of that little rant is to say, it is so damn frustrating to see a bunch of non-homosexuals acting like their opinion holds the same weight as homosexuals when it comes to discussing our sexuality…and knowing that their ideology enables them so much that you can’t say anything about it, they’ll just tune you out. It’s frustrating to know that I can give my opinion as a homosexual, only to be overruled by a straight woman calling herself an “aromantic trans nonbinary man” who thinks her fake identities give her more say than me.

And yes, the backlash to the essay absolutely has to do with the idea of a (presumed) homosexual stepping out of line. These people see gays as pawns and objects they own, and hate to see us having our own voice that opposes theirs. Because they think they’re entitled to our agreement and compliance.

They’re also accustomed to being in a community where everyone has the same opinions, everyone claims they’re gay, and everyone validates them. So I think it’s an absolute shock to them when somebody they assume would be in this same boat, has a mind of their own. It’s like, “what? You’re supposed to be Mindless Genderist #200, especially because you’re gay! How could you betray our community like this?”

If the author is still around here and reading this, please please please write another essay, I will eat it up. The first one did a really good job of being respectful and not heavy-handed on the gender critical aspect, which I think is the reason it resonated with me. If it was explicitly a “terf” essay, all my critical thinking would’ve been shut down because Terf Bad. But because it was just laying out points with no belief system attached, I was able to go into it just as a homosexual and find my agreement that way, not swayed by any pressures to believe a certain ideology. But it would be great to read another one that is more firm and angry, because lord knows it would be more than justified.

And I’ve noticed that too, that the “they’re not human, so they can’t be gay” excuse has spread to other fandoms. It’ll just take different forms depending on what’s available in the media’s universe. So for example, in a universe with magic, the fandom will use the magic system as an excuse for why the characters can’t possibly be gay (but they can be anything else). In a universe without magic, it’ll be something like “well, these characters are so deep and complex, so it’s not good to limit them to a label like gay (but they can be anything else)”.

It’s very clear to me that it’s not actually about trying to find interesting and complex ways of worldbuilding like these fandoms claim. Because if that was the case, why would homosexuality need to be ruled out? Wouldn’t it be interesting to discuss how this very real and important experience fits in with the universe in question? Instead, this is clearly about how fandom has always been homophobic, and they’ve finally found an acceptable excuse for it. Why else would the focus constantly be on explaining why characters can’t possibly be gay?

[thesquidkid]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers.(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

Thank you ❤️

This list will be unordered, because I am bad at sorting the ideas in my brain 😂

My friends make me really happy, both irl and not (@the-magpieprince ❤️ thank you for letting me rant at you), and even tho I may be rather asocial and introverted, I do love being around ppl. My parents are also ppl who make me really happy, and every time we talk it puts a smile on my face and makes me less anxious

Maths. That's it. I fucking love maths so much, it's actually worrying. I spend most of my free time either thinking/working on my thesis, or writing weird codes on python to make cute gifs. Maths is like the thing that I constantly think about, and has gotten me out of so many panic attacks (prime factorisation or Fibonacci sequence is my go to)

Reading. I've always loved reading, and I didn't do it much during lockdown because I wasn't in the vibe, but I'm back now! Currently I'm going through lotr, and I've just started the two towers. Reading is such a fun activity for me, and I sincerely look forward to reading every night, even if it's just a page

During lockdown I didn't really read much, but instead I got much more into twitch. I used to watch replays casually, and maybe watch a few lives here and there, but it wasn't a constant. Now, however, I have a weekly schedule with something pretty much every night (and if not, I'll watch replays). For instance right now, I have la soirée du lundi on Mondays, Popcorn on Tuesdays, replays or casual streams on Wednesdays, Backseat on Thursdays, la soirée est tienne on Fridays, replays or casual streams on Saturdays, and Indiemanche on Sundays. These shows, and these streamers do bring a smile on my face every time I watch them, I love their good and chill vibe.

Fandom (and particularly the rnm fandom, and everyone on discord ❤️) is such a great thing, and really makes me happy (and the Tumblr block and filtering aspects). Writing fics, reading fics, seeing amazing gifs and fanart, is such a wonderful thing. And I love being a part of it all, it's such a great feeling to have ppl from all over the world liking the same thing and talking about it

So this is the list, I think this is a good summary of what makes me happy, tho there's for sure more stuff! Like food, and going to the gym, and watching the flowers outside and many more things.

I realised during lockdown and during my first year of uni that I was not very happy in general, so I decided to start with small things and spending a few moments a day just sitting down and listing one thing that made me happy that day.

And those five things listed up there and the ones that make me the happiest, so I'll keep doing those (sorry babe @the-magpieprince , that means I'll probably keep renting to you ❤️😂)

[everythingsinred]

what follows is a long, rambly, and possibly sappy thank you note to the best fandom ive ever involved myself in. if you have ever sent me an ask, commented on my fics, or replied to a post i made (or even liked it tbh)--then this post is for you. (and this is most certainly not a good-bye or even close; i just occasionally get into sappy moods)

i want to start working on a career that i like, and my mom’s recommendation was to start a writing blog (she insisted i dont call it that though--to call it a “website” so it sounds more professional when i apply for writing gigs). its not the first time shes given me that advice but i have for some reason always resisted that idea before. “nobody would read it” was always the bottom line. that whole “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has always been my outlook on anything i produce. its why i feel so poorly whenever i post a new chapter of a fic or any art ever. its why im taking so long on the next batch of ga essays. its why ive never formally submitted any writing ever for publishing. why would anyone read anything i have to write, especially with no dead fandom to prompt them? who would choose me out of all the aspiring writers out there?

for ga it was a bit easier after a bit of breaking through the initial anxiety of sharing bits of myself. its a small fandom. not much content going around. theyd take anything right? even if it was from me! 

but something really weird happened these past few years in the ga fandom. i started writing essays and became more vocal, posting my thoughts, writing a long, dark, fucked up fanfic. i got feedback from people who wanted more from me. theyd ask me my thoughts on things, when id never considered myself an authority on anything or even very interesting to talk to (a lifetime of being the substitute friend will do that to you). ppl sent me asks about questions. they replied to my posts to further discuss things. me! what on earth?

then it got weirder. i posted my weird messed up little fic and now every once in a while ill get a comment from a person that says that my fic is their favorite, not just in the fandom, but ever. EVER. what? a couple of people have told me that they’d read anything i wrote, even if it had nothing to do with gakuen alice.

that they’d read something just because it was me.

this isnt a rant or a vent. something has changed in my self esteem in the past few years because today, when my mom told me i should start a “writing website” and post weekly writing, it actually sounded like a decent idea. no part of her advice was different than it had ever been, but i was. i could for the first time imagine starting a blog (website) and picture someone actually liking what they found there. and that’s bc of the ga fandom and bc of the writing ive done it for it and SPECIFICALLY the writing ive actually had the guts to share. 

none of it has been perfect. im lazy when it comes to self-editing and when i finish writing a chapter im eager to just throw it out there instead of rereading it once, let alone twice. a lot of it has been imperfect, but you guys still read it. you enjoyed it, even. “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has never been a problem for you. for whatever reason, quite a few of you like me, like my writing, like my ideas and thoughts. a couple of years ago i wouldnt have been able to fathom that, not even in my wildest dreams. 

im proud of myself for taking those first steps a couple years back, for posting those first couple posts and letting myself get involved in the fandom for a manga ive loved for half my life. im proud because if i hadnt done that, then maybe my self esteem wouldnt have developed like this. maybe i wouldnt have been able to picture a career in publishing as clearly as i can now. i obviously still have issues as far as my self esteem is concerned. i second-guess myself. i talk down to myself. i put off rereading bc i dont want to hate what i create. but you guys have helped me like my writing and helped me see that other people can like it too.

i am beyond grateful for that. i dont get a lot of traction or feedback like i would if i were in a larger fandom, but i dont mind. the feedback that i do get is of such good quality and has meant so much to me that it has potentially changed my life. i just needed you all to know that. that the people who have sent me asks, both on and off anon, requesting my thoughts on any topic; the people who leave comments on ffn and ao3, giving support ranging from long paragraphs to a brief sentence; the people who dm me or message me to share their thoughts on my work; the people who commented on my natsumikan essays telling me that ive helped them see something from a different perspective--you all have helped me see that there’s value in the things i create. 

i just want to say thank you. it has meant so much to me so far to be able to feel so confident in my writing. i really didnt even notice the change until today. how bizarre is it that something so important can change without you even noticing? i look forward to sharing more with you, from more fics to the mikan essay (which still has to be perfect, just maybe not as perfect as it wouldve had to be a few years ago lol). 

don’t be nervous that this a good-bye. it is not. it’s strange because whenever i’ve said anything like this (sent a message of adoration to a person i love, for example), people think it’s a bad sign. that i’m saying good-bye, or that it’s somehow a sign of something unsaid. i understand. this kind of nonsense sappiness (like all that stuff i wrote up there ^) is usually saved for the ffn bio when someone is leaving the site, for the good-bye post when someone decides to leave a fandom. “you’ve all meant so much to me and i’m leaving now.” that’s because usually people save all the important things for the end. you only say how you’ve felt when you say farewell. i don’t think life should be that way. i’m not saying good-bye, i’m saying i love you. i think people should say that more. i want people to feel good about themselves for what they’ve done, however small, to make my life--and undoubtedly the lives of others--a little brighter. and you have. you should know and i don’t intend to keep it to myself until i say good-bye (whenever or even if that happens). 

tldr; i love you gakuen alice fandom <3 youre not dead because dead things cant give life the way you have.

[ronanceisintheair]

hoh anon is BACK and now i'm going to tip my can of worms upside down for the world to see. (hiding behind anon bc i'm lowkey scared of the stans <//3)

so, basically, i've been thinking about it for a while. like, two months kind of a while. also, i just want to note that it's definitely not ALL hoh steve fic writers like this!!!! there are 100% so many that see themselves in steve or even just like steve and want to project and that's absolutely great and valid, i'm not talking about the ppl who r projecting bc it's completely harmless.

you see, hoh steve is one of those hcs where it's been adopted by many people and made into fanon. but the trouble with that is people wanting to write it but not being hoh themselves. whether their intentions are good or not, to ME, aka as someone has been hard of hearing his whole life, it comes off to me as wanting to make steve disabled but not wanting to put in the WORK to make him disabled.

don't get me wrong! like i said, lots of fic writers have the best intentions and many people are projecting onto steve.

but there's a lot of times when i've come across an hoh steve post (when i'm looking desperately for hoh stranger things content </3) and it's come off as just an excuse for eddie to help or comfort or be positive towards steve instead of focusing on the disability and how it affects steve in the first place.

and also, it's like. to a lot of people, writing a character who is hard of hearing is much less work than writing a character who, say, is blind. because then you have to put thought into what they do, how they act, how they interact with the world now that their vision is gone. with a character who is hard of hearing (or even deaf!), you don't need to consider as much, and that's exactly what i mean by 'wanting to make him disabled but not put in the effort of disability'.

again, i just want to clarify that it is NOT all fic writers that do this, and i do like a few hoh steve fics i've come across, this is just the writers who i've gotten the Vibe from, as i can recognize when it comes from someone w the same experience and someone who doesn't.

this got LONG sorry HJSHJHJRHJFHJF

The can of worms has been opened!!🪱🪱(also completely valid in fearing the stans because 😬😬yikes they can be so exhausting and shamelessly ignorant and lacking in awareness. )

Also extending gratitude for you feeling comfortable enough to come back and share <33 thank you: onto the debauchery.

St*ddie is honestly the worst thing to happen to st*ve. I already roll my eyes at the stans but the st*ddie st*ve stans can be the absolute worst.

The disabling or giving of st*ve trauma as the sole purpose of trope-ism and not like its an actual reality. 100% agree it is rarely about st*ve navigating these hardships. Rarely is it actually about the disabilities or ailments. It's more of like an excuse for e*die to "cure" st*ve of these things.

Very glamorized and superficial. Using a disability as an excuse or blanket. Like it was never about giving st*ve real struggles, it was never about implementing representation into a media that is so blatant on ignoring it.

Also please never apologize for letting yourself rant about the horrid conditions of this fandom and its fanon ideology.

It's also usually an extension of the "poor St*ve he just wants to be loved" Nancy hater narrative. It's like giving him a disability as a form of "he's owed love" and in extension making it out that someone who is hoh or with a disability cannot learn to love themselves or live with themselves and their platonic love. (In my head this makes since so I hope it makes sense in words as well)

The closest I can think is the idea of disability/caregiver fetishism but like lite.