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#My art#Handplates#UT#Gaster#Frisk#A DBZA incorrect quote technically - it's just such a raw line#Even what it's in reply to kinda works in this context! ''What exactly changed between you in the future and now?'' Time travel nonsense#It feels real weird to have a piece fully finished in black and white and have that be Correct lol#I am So pleased with the composition of this ♥#Gaster vertical and the human horizonal! Gaster confined and the human-#Hint: He's not looking at Frisk#Gaster being able to see Zarfox consistently is very interesting to me#Or rather - that bit makes sense lol he got as far as he could within the confines of his world and understanding#It's still cool how much he can actually see tho - understand? Interpret? Hard to pin down and define haha#What Sans is able to see doubly interests me - he got some but just glimpses! Different from - I assume - Gaster's consistent sight#Poor Papyrus being left out haha#It's been a while since I've drawn a Vessel - weird to think about Frisk in that context haha#It's accurate! Just weird ♪#I am so in love with Gaster's post-Void design <3 The fact that his lineart is ''canon'' - however you want to phrase it just ughgjkdslafd#Any instance of The Medium being drawn attention to down to its format and details gives me the zoomies lol#Visual representation of the unfathomable! It's so cool!!#And the fact that at the Very least Gaster suspects just how limited his viewpoint is - is phased in and out of it - what he assumes is real#He knows that even with everything that makes him up now - the threads of the multiverse! - it's still so much bigger than he can understand#''More than I thought'' - and then actually getting to talk with some/thing/one(s) that make up at least a sliver of that Bigger#''Less than you'd think'' - like moving a grain of sand that contains a universe on the beach of infinity#Hghhh it's cool <3
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on moving out
#for context i drew this during the paradise of providence event👍#repost of old art#kavetham#haikaveh#i still think abt kaveh moving out often#always a bit torn between it signifying him getting back on his feet + regaining confidence in himself#but like sometimes he's a bit of an unreliable narrator....remember when he was like#hm. the first thing i will do w the prize money is move out and then build another palace but ten times bigger! like oh...kaveh.....#plus he can sometimes be blind (purposefully or not) to what's actually good for him..bc we (and alhaitham LOL) know the significance of#him having a home that's not just a house and how full circle of a moment that is for him#its always interesting to consider that their living situation in itself is this in-between flux moment#though i think kaveh trying his best to escape this “chapter of his life” isn't necessarily the solution.....#i still don't know how tumblr works so if u have to go thru all my yapping in these tags to repost i am so sorry </3#ok thats all thank u for coming to my ted talk
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"I will keep going forward, no matter how hopeless it might seem."
(please do not repost my art and just leave a link to it if you'd like to share instead, thank you!)
#shining nikki#sn nikki#my art#sn#nikkiverse#i drew this for an art contest#but i really drew it because i wanted to say something with its message#and because i needed a reason to paint something to practice my art style#lol#i tried to make it so even those who don't know its context could understand...at least a little bit#i've recently been watching Naoki Saito (an illustration advice youtube channel) and i've been wanting to try out the things i learned ther#this time i wanted to try conveying a concept/message just in 1 image alone#at first it was honestly more difficult than i thought i tried it for days#but nothing worked and when i finally did get the idea that became this drawing it was because i was thinking one night of how#nikki was someone who has failed thousands and thousands of times yet she never gave up#i admired that because i was thinking of how i just keep failing in my goals that night#that was when i thought i wanted to convey that strength that nikki has#that strength that i also wished to have#and that was when the concept just flowed to me like water so easily#isnt it strange that its only when i start to feel like theres something i want to say that i finally find the idea to express it#something so obvious that i don't even realize lol#for context this image is about someone who lived in a world operated by AI where all emotions and creativity are shut down and dominated b#AIs kinda like the current AI crisis in the art community#but this someone believed in a world with vivid color#and the heart that created such an imperfect yet beautiful world before AI dominated it#thats what i wanted to express#thanks for reading if anyone bothers reading my long rants lol :)
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i need a drawfee archive that's got every stupid funny moment documented in chronological, alphabetized order for when i spontaneously remember a really obscure bit that i need to find or else i'll explode. i need to be able to type an extremely vague description in a search bar and have it understand me completely.
#slight tangent but a part of me wants to learn how to edit comps just so i can make one of all their parody song bits#theyre so dumb and they bring me such joy#you could prolly get a 20 minute video thats JUST mr brightside references lol#anyway for context#i had a memory of someone drawing the same image twice pop into my head with no prompting whatsoever#all i could remember was that the colors were funky and the images were droopy?? and im 93% sure it was jacob#and it was too off the rails for me to easily link it to a specific challenge or thumbnail#all i knew is that it felt kinda recent so i spent like 20 minutes scrolling the timeline of every video starting 9 months ago#and i did find it! much easier to find when its within a year thank god. its from 'making art out of our worst spam emails'#specifically jacobs section. and id say the 20 minutes was worth it. the duplication and immediate fade in of the render will always send m#so ye go watch it if youve got nothing else to do. help me justify the time cost lol#drawfee#sea rambles
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some old @chrysanthemumgames hermes-seph sketches!!! some of it is established-relationship daydreaming but also a peek at my dark and twisted mind (sprawling intricate spidey au)
#colored that top left one for my sidebar. lol.#a/tsv release made me so sick about spider-man you had to be there. im still on my bullshit but its a little more maintained#mostly bc a/tsv actually came out and i was attacked by every terrible take ever. some of u should not consume media#i know its rich coming from the IF player who enjoys romance but not everything is about romance or self insertion or ocs#miguel tag was UNUSABLE. IM TRYING TO BLOG ABOUT HIS HYPOCRISY AND SEE FANART. NOT SEE FANFICTION!!!!!!#also coming out as the biggest raimispidey2 mj speech enjoyer. im sorry. raimi trilogy is a bit messy to me BUT#if u take the mj speech at the end of 2 then it is. SO SO SO CUTE TO ME. (ignore the context its in pls)#also how her first comic appearance was IN HIS DOORWAY TOO!!!!#of course it was quite easy to project that onto sephmes from my brain so. here we are#talking mostly about raimipetermj rn. but hermes is simply not a Nerd like maguire's pete. so some insp from 616#but comics p/etermj is its own can of worms. i am taking bits and pieces of spideymedia i like and making my own sandcastle ok#sorry for spidey meta in the foa post i will shut up nyeow#fields of asphodel#foa#hermes#seph#and also i think hermes would make a crazy mj (the association with red and how intensely similar they are with how they present themselves#but the fact is . i really really love drop dead gorgeous seph who is wanted by everyone. its true. im one of them#<- i say this like the s in seph doesn't stand for s/pider-man. i have plenty of spideyseph doodles in the archive
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batman and wildcat #2
[ID: two panels of Batman in restraints. He has spiked gloves on and a white, full front mask on over his cowl—which prevents him from seeing anything. In the first panel he's kneeling with his hands down between his spread thighs. Two men stand behind him on both sides and are only shown from the torso and crotch down. One demands to the other, “Give him the rules.” The second panel is a close-up on Batman from the shoulders up. One of the criminals is holding an electric baton underneath his chin as Batman tries to turn his head away. END ID]
#hannibal mask if it slayed....#i love objectifying middle aged fictional men almost as much as comic book artists love objectifying middle aged fictional men <3#c: batman and wildcat | i: 2#batman#posts from the crypt#crypt's panels#(oct 25 edit: cleaning out my drafts from months ago and i literally had to go to the comic to see if this is the actual panel)#(it is but i love my#batpanels that make you go hmm...#so its a bit out of context lol)#batbondage
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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the moment I see someone unironically make a "deadweight" nero joke or seriously refer to him as "deadweight" i know i can't trust them
#its the like king of the unfunny dmc dudebro jokes#like I hate to be the 'UMMMM ACTUALLY' guy but tell me you were playing with your eyes closed without telling me#the POINT is that he was never a deadweight not even to Dante#he just took it to heart because he was so desperate for Dante to acknowledge him and to feel up to task and his own inferiority complex#but the POINT was that dante blurted out something he didn't mean in the heat of the moment just to get nero out of there and#as words you dont think about in the heat of the moment often do#it stuck and cut him deeply#do you ever hear anyone refer to him as a dead weight besides the one dante line?#no!!!#the word is said exactly four times in game and three of those are nero talking back at dante since the one time hurt that badly#anyway yada yada i know its a funny haha#but it always communicates such a lack of care and respect for the source material and nero as a character to me#you can make deprecating jokes about the characters you like!#hell i insult vergil all the time#(he deserves it)#but its one thing to make actually funny and accurate insult-jokes about a character out of fondness#and another to just blindly parrot back a line that meant something completely else in context clearly without understanding what it meant#lol sorry rant over this got a bit longwinded#but the type of fan to unironically do that just bothers me#lo and behold its always the gen nonship and anti people wonder why /s
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when people complain about getting like, a 98% grade on something because it was "so close to perfect" its like. i understand what you're saying on a technical level. but that is a line of thought so far away from my experiences and ways of thinking that i do feel like im from another planet. 100% isnt even a real number to me
#i kinda understand when its something like a multiple choice test or something where there is an objective answer#it might feel like u got so close but just missed one#again still a bit alien to me because my scholarly performance is mysterious and anything over 70 is great to me#but i mean ive had a 98 before once in a math test. i did get exactly 1 bit of 1 question wrong#but i didnt really care that it was one off from perfect i was too busy being happy because that was the highest mark id ever received#and the previous math test i had taken got a 53% . grade 11 was a wild time for me in math class GHJKSHFKds#anyway i kinda see where ur coming from with stuff with right or wrong answers like that#but i sometimes get friends in class complain that they got a 95 or something on an art assignment#because they think they got docked 5 points for one or two little things#but i dunno. thats not really how fine arts departments in university tend to grade things#you dont start at 100 and get docked marks for things you got wrong. i dont think ive ever seen a 100% on something like that#tbh the numbers are a little arbitrary i find. i do prefer to try to get em higher because that helps with grants and stuff#but the numbers dont mean all that much in fine arts or in art history (my two majors) a 75 and a 95 can function the same depending on lik#weighting and context and feedback and whatever. i dunno its a wild world out there#it might just be the perspective of someone who did really goodbad in school. (GoodBad (tm) its when ur good but also kinda bad at school!)#compared to someone who got a lot of perfects in mandatory schooling. i sympathise i really do that kind of pressure sounds insane#but while i sympathize i cant really empathize as much unfortunately with this specifically orz its a world very far outside my purview!#100%s arent real to me so they never cross my mind to be worried about LOL
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healing from brain damage is definitely the worst injury ive ever had to heal from so far 😞 this shit is so difficult yall
#tiny bit of my long med history for context:#i have broken my collarbone#i have had my face mauled by a dog where i had to Literally Physically tear it off my face#it locked its jaw around my nose and upper lip#i got like 10 stitches and they had to super glue my nose back together#but uhhhhhh#i got a concussion as a kid that went untreated because our healthcare system is so underfunded and understaffed#and that turned into what the doctors call ''functional nausea and vomiting disorder''#then on monday i got another concussion at work#and holy shit.#second-impact syndrome is a BITCH#im in so much pain if i use my brain at all#hey other dissociative people: you've dissociated from your body but have you ever had to dissociate from your brain?#or is this what being forcefully locked at the front and locked out of headspace feels like?#i think this might be worse though because i cant think at allllllllllllllllllllll#i get delirious if i try 😔#this is so hard#i sobbed in the shower over it for like 30 minutes today lol#i had to sit down in the middle of my shower and it was so hard yall#im trying to hard not to spiral#being vulnerable and putting this on my main instead of hiding it on one of my many many sideblogs#(jsyk if youve read this far then youre allowed to ask me what my active sideblogs are. dms and asks are open)#(@queerlyneurotic is one of my vents and where i usually put sad shit. you get a freebie for reading this.)
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ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs
hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx
having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.
overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.
and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.
#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular#opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these#tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now#because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!!#like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear.#okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care#about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a#person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested#in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon?#why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that#guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which#james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just#do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured#in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like#idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for.#god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx#also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their#super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were#not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good#and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff#they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely.#anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx#anon#telegram#scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl.#girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me
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trying to add a scene into an old chap bc a specific plot thread has been bothering me for a while now but ITS SO HARD TO CHANGE SOMETHING THATS ALREADY PUBLISHED WITHOUT ENTIRELY REWRITING. my editing style is quite literally "if sucks, rewrite from scratch" which isnt useful rn. pain and suffering for ten thousand years
#tteote ch28 is gonna gain a scene fyi#just because. okay wait loredrop#tteote used to be one fic#that was gonna be like . 100k#then i had more ideas and i was like ok 200kish super long fic sounds good#then i wrote the “100k” bit and it ended up 200k#and i was like oh shit okay right i gotta make this two fics#which is fine bc the “100k” bit ends quite nicely as its own thing (this mission specifically#vs The Bigger War is a good way to divide it)#BUT THAT MEANS#that some ominous character interactions#will not be resolved in this fic#like you wont find out what i hinted at until next fic#and thats probably like a year away bc i gotta actually write it lol#so ive gotta have those characters turn up again or it'll just looklike a loose end i abandoned for no reason. if that makes sense#the more i think abt it the more annoyed i am that theyre two fics because some of the tiny minor side characters in tteote#get fun roles in fic 2#bUT i cant recombine them bc the ending works so well now#so you'll all have to be patient#sorry for that LONG ASS CONTEXT RAMBLE#but yea im adding kaneko back into ch28 bc i made him sooo ominous then just abandoned him#so. that'll drop along with ch32#im hoping#wish me luck#tteote
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coffee dates with your mom have you spilling all your dirty secrets without a second thought 😭
#kai.rambles#idk what this phenomena is but it’s apparently common lol#im gonna tmi in the tags like it’s a little face time call bc i’m waiting at the airport for my friend#but i had a little coffee date with my mom yesterday bc we both needed a little break since the family is STILL here and hasn’t left#and we just need this whole thanksgiving thing to be over bc we’re going insane with so many relatives in and out of our homes#so we went to a local coffee shop that just opened and it’s so cute btw and ITS PET FRIENDLY so i saw many doggies there#and can’t wait to take woody when this whole doggy virus going around calms down 😔#but anyway she saw that i was like fidgeting in my chair and ask wtf was wrong and i told her that i had a pimple on my ass cheek lol#and she was like how did it even get there like you take such good care of your skin??#and i was like idk it just appeared there 😅#and she was like - 🤨🤨 after your bday?#and i said like yeahhhh?#at this point i already knew she was onto me lol and we both laughed and she asked what did my bf and i do for my bday#so i told her and now she won’t stop laughing at me#for context - here’s the tmi lol - but my bf used whipped cream on me for my bday and we cuddled for a bit#afterwards with the intention of going to shower but we ended up passing out all sticky 😭#and i quickly took a full exfoliating shower in the morning when i realized but it was already too late and now i have a pimple on my ass 😭#and it’s like more towards the inside of the cheek so it fkn hurts everytime i sit down#and i was so paranoid after that instead of putting one boric acid capsule into my pussy i put two just in case#bc i was so scared that i was gonna get and infection of something but it’s been 4 days now#and nothing’s happening so i think i’m good but yeah i told her and now she laughs everytime she sees me or remembers it 😭#i don’t mind bc it’s her and i trust my mom and tell her everything but i never get into detail about my sex life#so the fact that THISSS is the one thing about it that i tell her it’s hilarious#so yeah and now whoever reads this monstrosity of tags knows too#and if you did read this then come here bc i’m giving you BIG WET KISSES and taking you out on a little picnic date 💓💓#and we can wear matching outfits and feed eachother desserts🥺
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i dont think i ever felt more annoyed at commercials than when those mean girls walmart ads were playing a few months ago or whenever that was
#i think it's mostly bc i thought mean girls was like. an okay movie. a fine movie? i think i liked it#but like. i saw it once. i have no nostalgia for it bc i saw it way later/not when it originally came out#and god the way people are so into it. i mean that is great like i dont wanna be a hater for people enjoying things#but me personally. i do not understand why it's a cult classic or whatever klsjfkdlsfj i hear people quote it all the time and im like. 🧍#so having those quotes i already dont care about re contextualized to try to sell me walmart. god. the worst experience jkfsdjfklJFDKLSJF#tbh maybe it woudlve been worse if i liked the movie but i saw comments saying those commercials were funny so WHATEVER#i feel like it's also the same w/like. vocaloid kfsjdflksjgh like i dont dislike it!! i enjoy some songs#but i never had a vocaloid phase when i was younger. i feel so very neutral about miku#ppl on the internet feel so strongly positive and again thats great and i objectively get it#ive been shown vocaloid songs and some are really catchy#but it is one of those instances where im like man. a level of hype i dont fully understand LOL#miku vocaloid stuff is at least endearing tho. i get.... tired... w/mean girls quotes......... ksljfsljfl#It's Always The Same Ones and i just dont think theyre very funny FKJLDSJFDKLSJF maybe i am a hater damn#jk i do think i liked the movie? god i dont remember i watched it like. i dont even know when. college at the earliest i think#but whatever thats just a case of people having different interests just cuz i didnt care about a thing doesnt man its bad other ppl like i#also tho i think bc the mean girls overquoted bits remind me of like. rae dunn ceramics LOL jkfskfjsekht#or like idk live laugh love stuff. yknow like. dont talk to me until ive had my coffee has same energy as on wednesdays we wear pink. to me#it's facebook wine mom humor.... bc it is people roughly my age that were/are really into it and they are now mom age i guess lwpfhewhfp#god i need to go to bed im tired and it's making me a cranky complainer about stuff that doesnt matter!!!!#went 2 my dash in a dif tab and immediately saw a miku post is she gonna get me for not having strong feelings about her#im sorry miku i just . i dont get it JKFLJDSKLFJKSLD#ur music is fun i just dont proportionately understand. i feel like im missing context w/this one girl maybe thats my bad idk#or maybe it's just i found u too late idk. i will jam to the bops tho#that endless/everlasting/whatever nights thing w/like the 4 alt storyline songs is soooo fun i love those#dont ask me the names of the ppl in them tho i dont fuckin know besides like. 3 of them. one is miku LOL#and those yellow twin kids. len and ren. or rin? len and rin? i dont remember and i dont care enough to look it up sorry small children#theres that blue haired guy that was in the one prsk route i played but i forgot his name again#i dont know if hes in those songs i was talkin about tho i only remember what he looks like in his youthful wonderland alt loll#i talk in the tags bc i get scared it feels safe in my burrow here underground#also im calling mean girls mid and saying i dont have miku hype so i feel like that does warrant going into hiding
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i cannot keep drawing this dude on my phone but god do i love drawing him (+ bonus colors)
#my art#sketch#samsung notes#castlevania#alucard#i was doing gesture-y drawings but i drew him with a sword and shield and then i just wanted to Draw Him and. hes doing something to me man#i need to play sotn but im determined to play at least the first few games in order but i still havent beat 1. i fell out of it 😭😭😭#i want so badly to have a proper understanding of his character so i wont just be drawing like 'man.. pretty.... hair.. flowy...' forever#but also i refuse to make an educated guess on his characterization bc it will Not be educated. my exposure to him is so narrow#and also mostly forgotten. most of it was years ago and what i do know is surface-level at best. any nuance will literally be speculation 💀#but i Need to draw him. for my enrichment. hes so designed. so it ends up being just. Mysterious Handsome Man Looking Somewhere#seriously holy Shit. the more i absorb his design the more i have to draw him. ayami kojima was Cooking in the studio like damn#by the way these last two posts were scheduled. about two days after i did both of them give or take. i did this the night before last post#im trying to pace myself a bit better (its not really working 💀)#for context: the colored version was literally not even a thought when i originally put this post together#i did it the day after making the sketch and then three days later (the earliest you will see this) the post posted#oh shit right that means#medibang paint#shoutouts to multiply layer mode i would not be able to just do this without being able to keep my sketch#if i had to redraw it i would not have done the colors lol#anyways stream wandering ghosts bye bye love and peace 🤞
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time to stop and think woah i love my little sister so much.. i saw her yesterday and she told me she broke up w her boyfriend of 6 months a couple days ago and we talked about it for a while (i think hes a dick, she thinks its not that bad, im probably just overprotective of her lol but whatever) and she mentioned that during the breakup he said she had done nothing wrong in the relationship and it was all on him, which it was, and i was just thinking like. "yeah obviously. youre the one person i know who has literally no flaws." like i thought about it for a sec and i cant think of a single trait of hers that i find annoying or that causes me problems or whatever. the only times ive ever found her to be like, a bit too harsh or moody or something is when shes responding aggressively to our mom, and having grown up w our mom i honestly cant blame her at all cause ik she can be really hard to bear with sometimes lol. but like. i dont think weve ever had a single fight in our lives yknow. its rare and precious to have someone so great in your family and im so glad she is there :)
#97#the only thing that saddens me is we dont see each other that often#and its often bc she doesnt ask me to hang out bc shes always anxious about bothering me or something#and its like you never bother me! i always wanna hear from you!#like i was a bit sad that when the breakup happened im not one of the people she called.#i do get that it makes more sense to go talk to your friends but also she did call mom.#and i wish i could get her to think of me as someone she can count on more#but idk how to do that#also for context she is 17. she has the right to be kinda bratty to her parents sometimes shes a teenager lol#and yknow i think in some ways just her being around pushes me to be better..#like sometimes i think 'i want to accomplish more so my sister can be proud of me'#or like 'i want to put more effort into looking the way i want bc i wanna make her look cool when she introduces me to her friends' lol#im like.. too paranoid and anxious and fucked up to get my drivers license still (i want to though)#but often i think 'if i get a bikers license i could go pick her up from school on a bike and thatd make her look cool at school' lol#like im often more concerned about appearing as a cool and interesting person so that my sister can be proud of me moreso than for myself
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