#anyway i kinda see where ur coming from with stuff with right or wrong answers like that

[bmpmp3]

when people complain about getting like, a 98% grade on something because it was "so close to perfect" its like. i understand what you're saying on a technical level. but that is a line of thought so far away from my experiences and ways of thinking that i do feel like im from another planet. 100% isnt even a real number to me

[sexyandcringe]

Catching you dancing for the first time

Warnings: suggestive ig

Content: fluff, self indulgent

A/n: the tags are finally working 😭

Kuroo

• Its been a long day for Kuroo and all he wanted was to finally come home and cuddle with you for hours, but who knew that such a pretty surprise was waiting for him at home.

• Kuroo stares at your moving figure, following your every movement with a glint in his eyes while you dance to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxNzURtqZLc

• The music is loud and you are too absorbed in learning the second part of the dance to even notice his presence.

• When you have to move to your right for a part of the choreo, you notice him at the door, smirking like a playboy jerk.

• You freeze. Never have you ever felt such an embarrassment.

• Your brain is like “AAANICFENWUIFIEUFHIEWUFBUIWBISNSNIAU” anyway-

• You do your best to stay calm and leave quietly,so you stop the music and take your stuff out of the room

• but this mf stops u with a lame side kabedon

• “Where are you running off, darling?” his teasing tone makes u even more flushed.

• honestly if it wasn’t for the fact that you feel like dying of embarrassment, you would have hit him (cutely) and made your way out, but rn you can’t even look him in the eye.

• “Please let me go” your voice is a tiny whisper. PLS why are u like dis.

• “But i wanna see more of your dance, you were doing so good, and you looked hot.” His face gets dangerously near you.

• “Kuroo tetsurou. Let me go.”

• He chuckles and moves his arm “Alright, let’s dance together then?”

• You look up surprised. Despite the many months spent together, u two didn’t have the romantic slow dance you always dreamed of yet.

• “But im, im sweaty” you say in a low tone

• “I don’t care Y/N, let’s go” he laughs and grabs your arm, leading you into the room and grabbing your waist.

• You both slow dance to Kuroo’s light and smooth humming <3<3<3

Ushijima

• Practice finished early today, so your lovely boyfriend decided to surprise you with some flowers <3

• He thought that maybe you two could go on a nice date

• but when he sees you dancing to this https://youtu.be/I7DPpBSYxQU?t=23 his plans changed immediately 😏

• he just stares at you in awe, like :0 whie the flowers fall from his hands dramatically

• His mind is like “Maybe i shouldn’t peek like this, this is wrong, i should respectfully close my eyes” but also like “But she is so … i want to see more”

• so he ends up seeing your whole choreo and you notice him only when you have finished.

• You: 😮😳

• you cover your face with your hands in embarrasment

• “Omg Ushi.. since when were you staring” you peek through your fingers

• “Since when you ... uh, crouched down on the floor (?), im sorry, i shouldn’t have peeked, but you looked very ... endearing” he is at loss of word lmao, help him

• He thinks you looked hot and all, he just doesnt know how to say it, because he never had that kind of thought for someone before.

• You are: embarrased. “Oh, it’s okay.. thank you”.

• Awkward silence

• Then he remembers he brought flowers for you so he picks them up and gives them to you like nothing lol

• Kisses you so passionately, ur both horny now <3

• good luck

Bokuto

• tbh i kinda feel like its impossible to not notice him when he comes home because he screams “IM HOME” enthusiastically until u don’t come down and pamper him with kisses.

• But today practice was hard and nothing was working out for him so he went into emo mode :((

• Came home with a low and sad “Im Home...” with his sad owl hair

• but he doesn’t get an answer, instead he hears the loud music bombing in your room

• when he reaches the room, he gets 100% recharges!!

• You were recording this tik tok challenge: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH7OFPxxhpk

• But he has already learn that choreo because Atsumu lol

• So he just joins you in midway and starts dancing with you

• When you see him you get surprised, but as the professional dancer that you are, you don’t stop dancing and just giggle while you watch him doing the same steps as you

• “Kou!! i didn’t know you knew this one, we could’ve learnt it together!”

• “Atsumu taught it to meeee, i would’ve taught it to you if i knew you were interested!”

• He so cute you just kiss him (If it were me i would never let him go tbh)

• “Then let’s learn another one together!” You offer him and he obviously accepts

• So you two start learning a new tik tok challenge (im lazy to find a new one, insert whatever choreo you like)

• He unashamedly ogles your ass if you do a hot move.

• if you catch him, he doesn’t even try to hide it, just grins goofily and flushes you against his chest

• You let him because, well, it’s Bokuto we talking about duh

Sakusa

• You were dancing to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfecF8GJbzU when sakusa entered the house

• “I’m home” he murmured, but not hearing any reply, he went to check in your room where you were dancing with no care in the world

• I headcannon him as someone who just loves you so much that he wouldn’t dare to ruin this perfect moment where you look so free and happy

• He smiles fondly while he looks at your moving figure, he so soft for u <3

• He just casually enters the room like nothing is wrong, throwing himself on the bed and looking at you

• You don’t really notice him until you have to turn around for a part of the dance

• You block immediately, frozen

• “When did you come?” “Just now”

• you stop both the music and the dancing because ur shy to do it in front of him </3

• “Why did you stop? Don’t mind me” is what he says, as if it’s just that easy to ignore him staring at you dancing.

• “i’m not gonna dance if you stare at me” You huff crossing your arms

• He chuckles (btw his chuckle is so attractive even though i never heard it) “Why, are you shy?” he has this teasing tone that makes u go bfuewbfuebiuc

• “Kiyooomiii, get ouuut” you tell him, pushing his heavy body off the bed, but with no results

• He doesn’t budge, he is an ass istg <3

• “Okay okay, i won’t stare, look” he covers his face with his hands, peeking thru his fingers

• you just look at him like,, :muhammad dissapointed:

• “Let’s just get dinner, we’ll dance later Omi” “Fine.”

• Slow dancing after dinner pt. 2 <3

Fun fact: At first I wrote "He doesn't bulge" instead of "he doesn't budge" in Omi's :,)

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

WE STARTED.... A NEW SCENARIO..... as you may have read in Boo’s summary post, for some unknown reason aLL MUSICAL AND PERFORMANCE ABILITY SEEMS TO BE??? GONE??? Sammy woke up, realised he couldn’t hold even the simplest tune in his head, and immediately lost THIRTY-ONE SANITY in one hit

..... YOU KNOW THAT MAKES SENSE HONESTLY

 anyway i have a some out-of-context quotes from the game for u all under the readmore if ur into that kinda thing!!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] It's a tough voice to do, so you can't be as choosy, and your resident Bendy cannot act to save his life, so that's no good-- [Joey] Uh-oh. [Jack] Sorry, Lurks. [Joey] I'm just so worried he's going to have to act now... [Jack] Clearly, he should've used the time between scenarios to train that! [GM] Yeah, that's just what everybody wants I'm sure, is the Lurker training in LYING. That sounds like a great idea!

[GM] *asking for dice rolls to see how well our actual jobs are going* We can do a little bit of mundanity to, to treasure, and keep you warm later!

[Henry] Should I spend Luck points on this? No, I'm not spending Luck on work. [Sammy] That's a good general life policy

[Jack] Does Jack have any contacts? [Joey] No, he has glasses! :D [Jack] noooo that's my job! It's my job to make Jack's puns! ....Contacts probably didn't exist in the 1930s, that's okay. [Sammy] No, don't say that! Boo's going to have to look it up now!

[GM] What spell is Joey working on? [Jack] (Spell of Make Investor Like You)

[Joey] I think he probably has filing cabinets specifically to put occult stuff in and lock. And then the rest of his office is just piles and tables of animation stuff that you're like "...shouldn't this??? be??? in the filing cabinet???"

[GM] Allison remarks, "The companions of our childhood always possess a certain power of our minds, which hardly any later friend can obtain." [Sammy] Y'know, normal, just nORMAL CASUAL CHATTER, [GM] Tom, working on the pipe, just kinda mutters, "I enjoy friends, dear not only by habit and association, but from their own merits." And she gives him a look! [Jack] ...love at first whATEVER THIS IS,

[Sammy] ...Sammy's not amused. [GM] The band's amused! [Jack] Jack is probably amused.

[GM] So far things are going very well, but y'know, [Jack] Only so long until we crit fail something! [Sammy] NEVER TOO LATE TO MESS IT UP!

[GM] Allison's vibe is like, I Didn't Study This Exactly, But I Was Hoping It Could Just Work Out! [Jack] ...She has a lot of practice at just... making things work out, huh.... 

[GM] Is there anything else Joey would try to show off? [Joey] Tries to think... what else is at the Studio... [Jack] "Do you wanna talk to our janitor? He's really cool!"

[Joey] I roll to see if Joey can put two brain cells together,

[Jack] I have to appreciate that Bendy said he didn’t have the keys today. He’s been stealing them before, but THIS TIME isn’t his doing!

[Sammy] If there’s anything he needs to do himself, then he’ll come in early, but I don’t know what state we’re in -- [Joey] Uh, New York. [Sammy] ...what? [Joey] You didn’t know what state we’re in. :) [Sammy] [Sammy] thanks

[Joey] Oh Joey’s absolutely coming in early. Joey woke up, and felt great, so he’s going to menace every other department today, because he has the energy to get his fingers into everything! [Sammy] *distressed sounds in the background*

[Sammy] Hey how come when we did a Halloween cartoon, we all went to Haiti, but we’re doing a cartoon about a fair and we’re not going to a fair? [Jack] [Jack] I think we all know why.

*trying to decide who goes to Joey’s fancy dinner with an investor* [Sammy] I don’t know if Sammy will help you... [Sammy] Unless you bring Sammy and put him on a piano, like a small child that needs to be immediately handed crayons.

[Joey] Joey will say that they’re essentially the second hands in each of the departments-- [Jack] Yeah, Abby, the second hand… entire Art Department director, [GM] Uh-huh. [Joey] She… she knows,, [GM] Joey, [Joey] She knows that Joey… is … Big Gay for Henry,,, [GM] This is true, but I think she likes nominal acknowledgement that she holds a position, [Jack] He can just say that they’re high-ranking, and not-- [Joey] No I rolled badly, Joey’s going to say that Sammy and Henry are busy, so he brought his second-best! :) [GM] Abby is massaging her temples. [Joey] Sorry, Abby. He is,, an idiot,,, [GM] I think she’d be a lot more bothered if she couldn’t go and commiserate with Henry about it. Like, “why can’t he keep it straight?” [GM] ……………….well. She knows why he can’t keep it straight.

[GM] It’s about midnight, and something... strange.... happens. The trumpet player, who is leading the band -- [Joey] -- has a trumpet for a head! [GM] what no

*Joey succeeds a sanity check, Jack fails it* [GM] Joey, roll 1d10! [Joey] Uh, 3? [GM] Okay, you’re only down three sanity, that’s not so bad! [GM] Jack, roll 6d10! [Jack] what? [Joey] Six??? SIX d10s????? [GM] Yeah! [Joey] nICE KNOWING YOU, JACK!!! It’s time for Sillytime Jack.

[Jack] Smash cut to Henry, curled up in bed, nice and cozy,

[GM] I will also note, you cannot seem to Fast Talk. [Joey] ...what else can I do? [GM] Just normal talk. Like a normal person.

[Jack] I feel like Jack probably has a hunch that it’s weird nightmarish horror nonsense, on account of he just lost nineteen sanity,

[GM] Abby’s gonna try to take him to the hospital. [Jack] Jack’s just going to let that happen, because he’s shaken enough that he doesn’t have any significantly better ideas! Other than AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,

[Sammy] *rolling sanity damage* 9… 9, stop that…. 4, [Jack] You’ve already lost more than Jack! [Sammy] 2, ...6, and 1! [Joey] That’s 31. [GM] Okay, Sammy has six sanity! [Sammy] eXCUSE ME?????

[Joey] Joey does want to head home… what day is it? [GM] Friday, the 13th! [Jack] HM, [Sammy] I GUESS IT IS, ISN’T IT… I wasn’t keeping track, but I guess it sure is! [GM] A delightful treat for myself, when I was looking up days in July, in 1934, [Sammy] WAIT, NO, ITS ACTUALLY A COINCIDENCE? Oh my gosh, [Jack] Because Friday the 13th wouldn’t even be a spooky day at this point in time! [GM] It is now! [Jack] It’s spooky, but just for us!

[Sammy] Sammy would try to call Jack, he’d try to call Joey, he’d try to call Henry -- probably several times, [Henry] sammy gets jack’s cat [Henry] phone is answered with meows [Jack] That does seem fitting for a really bad luck roll; the phone gets answered, and Sammy’s really relieved -- and it’s just the cat. [Sammy] Sammy, at 6 sanity: “jack’s tuRNED INTO A CAT,”

[Joey] The phone kept on ringing, so the cat just batted it off the cradle, [Jack] I feel like Jack probably doesn’t usually get a significant number of calls, so like, this many calls in a row is just obnoxious! [Jack] Cat’s having none of it. [Jack] Phone ring isn’t breakfast! [Jack] Where is the soft provider of food.

[GM] Oh no, you know what’s going to happen? Henry’s gonna get through to Jack, and then when Sammy calls it’s busy! [Sammy] cALLS JACK IT’S BUSY, CALLS HENRY IT’S BUSY, [Jack] I was gonna say maybe Henry would call Sammy first, because Sammy was one of the original three. [Jack] …Henry calls Sammy, Sammy is busy because SAMMY is trying to call someone, and then Henry calls Jack, and Sammy tries to call Jack again-- [Sammy] *laughing* THE HORROR, The deep, bone-chilling horror of A TIME BEFORE CALL-WAITING!!

[Henry] Is Joey there? [Jack] Yeah. [Henry] Are you guys alright? [Jack] ……………….hm,

[Jack] Cat is just sat on Joey, purring. Something is wrong with the human. Purr to fix the human.

[Henry] I called Sammy to make sure he’s okay, but-- [Abby] Was he? [Henry] No.

[Joey] Joey is going to be… obstinate feels like the wrong word? [Joey] He’s being the cat where you put the leash on, and the cat just sits down. [Joey] That is the Joseph mood right now.

[Sammy] *muttering* First one boyfriend turns into a cat, now the other boyfriend’s voice is wrong, today is terrible,

[Joey] This is Joey’s everything. [Sammy] That’s Joey’s contribution to the party! That’s like, your bard can no longer play music. [Sammy] ……….which is also true, but Sammy contributes other things. [Jack] Like Intimidate! [Sammy] Right now he contributes paranoia!

[cozymochi]

(Scared to be off anon but I understand that you don’t want drama in your askbox so it all good)

ANYWAYS- do you have any mini tutorials on how you draw Irkens or the Tallest? Cause holy sh*t the way you draw in the canon style makes me go 👁👁

Love your art!!💕

AAAAAA THANKSSS, And sorry this took. I dunno. Weeks to respond to, but after frequent trial and error I could not for the life of me come up with any “tutorial.” 😔 I’m kind of a failure like that. I’m not even much of a “teacher”

You can take what I have though, even if it’s pretty sloppy and unfinished 😭 And I can try explaining stuff, but this premise is really broad 😔😔 I wouldn’t know where to begin. Any canvas with a pink background is the “new” stuffI tried drawing specifically for this ask, while a white canvas is old.

Sorry that u had to go off-anon though, and sorry if this is a bit of a hot mess that isn’t very concise or helpful and primarily just… nonsense. I’m sure better “explanations” exist. Again, I’m not a teacher nor a tutorial person, really

I drew up this random image at one point in the hopes that It’d be something?? But, tbh. It probably doesn’t help. So I have no idea if this breakdown even makes a lick of sense. I just know they consist of mostly basic shapes. I meant to go in more “detail” but my brain got destroyed.

Every part of Zim’s body is a triangle in some way. Like, if u look at that image maybe u can see what i mean but 😭😭 idk.

It’s mostly just, I suppose, a matter of remembering that despite the fact these are 2D characters that are extremely stylized, they do have some kind of 3D form involved at all times. I personally keep Zim as my “rule of thumb” basis or something when drawing Irkens. Everybody is just a fucked up version of Zim. The Tallest’s heads are just Zims, but longer. Or, Skoodge [not pictured] is just Zim’s head but wider (and he is ALL head pretty much).

There was one time someone asked me advice on how I draw the Tallest, and to this day I never finished it, and with how busted my mindset became towards my own work, i probably never will.

Sorry I don’t really get into the body much, but I tried to recently (as you’ll see) and didn’t get far.

But, kinda like the Zim thing, the Tallest are also basic shapes. They’re a bit weird on having triangles and circles though. Though, I suppose it would be more accurate to call them spheres, cones, and some cylinders.

Random aside: I think folk get stuck on the joints of their arms in relation to their shoulder pads a lot… I try to keep in mind that their arm joint is always locked in a single place, yknow, like actual shoulders. The pad just moves with the arm.

Sorry the drawing is so sloppy this is where my mind fell apart.

Uhhh the Tallest are kinda weird with their long necks and craning. I kinda see where the neck connects with the body as some kind of “pivot” point. That is, if I were to be a lot stricter with that dinosaur neck. There’s a reason that neck tends to be shortened or ignored altogether.

Zim’s eyes are a bit more self-explanatory being ellipticals (not so much circles tbh, but eh). While the Tallest have parallelograms (not rectangles, their eyes don’t have any right angles- i keep that in mind too) They’re also weird since their one of the few characters whose eyes don’t stick out of their head when turned to the side. But, they do curve with their head— but not when facing forward.

Tho sometimes they do wacky shit like this so they tend to break their own “rules” anyway. I dunno. There’s really no set right/wrong means, I just keep a lot of that minor stuff in mind. I think it all would just depend on what you’d want to do

Irken mouths are weird, a lot of the “rules” that used to exist like more strict geometric stuff doesn’t exist anymore due to art evolution. But, again, I really think it just… depends…?

Have no teeth, stretch the face, put the teeth at the bottom/top, don’t leave the face, break open the face, etc etc depends on what u want.

Anything I do at this point just came from watching too many clips or sometimes digging around the comics.

i used up the image limit but there’s no other drawings anyway 😭

the end?

This isn’t all that helpful or satisfying I’m really sorry, I really don’t know how to explain this at all at the moment. Sometimes I do, but maybe I don’t. I also didn’t wanna leave this in my inbox any longer.

Maybe just study reference sheets, or if u can get ur hands on any notes from the art book- reading those might be useful. Sure, they’re outdated, but i dunno they sometimes have useful notes involved

thanks tho for asking anyway, normally i do like answering this sort of thing but I really did just fall apart at some point and messed it all up

[bl00dgutsgl0ry]

ahh i’ve read all ur childe fics and they are absolutely amazing 🥺 i also live for angst and the way you portray ur characters emotions is emasculate *chefs kiss* is it possible if i may request an angsty childe fic where his s/o feels betrayed after finding out hes only been with her as part of the fatui’s plans but throughout the process childe actually falls in love and never meant to hurt them? and pls a fluffy ending bc my heart can’t take angst 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Pairing - Childe/Tartaglia/Ajax x Reader

Warnings - Spoilers for Childe’s background.

Other Comments - Hello!! I am so glad that you are enjoying my stuff! I never would have imagined that I would receive so much positive feedback as I just started doing this but everyone has welcomed me with open arms hehe!!  (//▽//) Anyway you are in luck because I absolutely love writing angst so lets go! Also these are heavily inspired by the songs Decode and All I Wanted by Paramore so I kinda recommend listening to them while you read. (๑˘︶˘๑)

      Everyone you have encountered along your journey have been so friendly; all of them going out of their way to assist you. You have gained many friends along your way which have caused you to become quite a trusting person, to a fault at this point. Every person you have met with try their best to help you with your journey and leave a lingering friendship which you are incredibly grateful for. When you first decided you wanted to become an adventurer, your parents were extremely apprehensive, not trusting the world around you. You were determined to prove them wrong, and so far you have. 

      You had decided you wanted to settle down in Liyue for a while, exhausted from the constant traveling. This way you were always able to stay close around the Adventurers Guild. Along your journey of living in Liyue you had continued to meet many lovely and helpful people; one being a tall copper headed man. 

      During your travel and adventuring you had started to become a fairly big name, as you were incredibly skilled and managed to help save Mondstadt on a variety of occasions; even getting to know the grand master of the Knights of Favonius. So when a tall young man approached you, already knowing your name you weren’t all too surprised. You had already settled down into your small cozy apartment when he had come up to you.

      “Excuse me, you don’t happen to be (y/n) do you?” You looked up, your eyes meeting bright blue ones as you found the owner of the soothing voice.

      “Oh uh, yes that’s me. Is there something I can help you with?” A pleasant smile graced your face as the tall man gave a polite smile back before continuing. 

      “I was wondering if you could assist me with a domain, I seem to be having a bit more trouble with it than I had expected. I’ve heard you’re one of the best out there right now.” Your face flushed, something about this man was so endearing, and helping him out couldn’t be too hard, you had been able to defeat most of the domains in the area anyway so why not?

      “Sure, I’d be more than happy to help you out! Are you an adventurer like I am?” You heard Childe let out a low chuckle.

      “Oh no I am a Fatui Harbinger.” Wait- did he just say he was a Harbinger? You didn’t know much about the Fatui, but what you did know and have heard from other people was that the Fatui were always bad news. He didn’t seem like what everyone was saying though.

      “Well then, when would you like to go?”

      That was the beginning of your relationship with the Harbinger. After that you two both seemed to get along surprisingly well, and you found yourself struggling to stop seeing him. He was always on your mind, and with him almost always being around you that wasn’t helping either.

      “So, where shall we go today darling?” Childe had decided to take up space in your already cramped apartment, not that you were complaining. It had been about six months since you had settled down in Liyue and you decided it was finally time to start traveling again. You had formed a really close connection with Childe, he always seemed to be your savior in situations that you needed it. You hoped that Childe would come along with you, but part of you had a feeling that he had to stay here for some reason.

      “Well I was thinking I would go back to traveling again, I have stayed for about half a year so I think it’s time.” The smile that always seemed to find its place on Childe face quickly dropped, and you saw something change for a split second before returning back to normal.

      “Oh well if that’s what you want then I am not going to stop you, but I can no longer accompany you, you better leave as soon as possible though.” Now what could he have said that for. 

      “So you can cover as much ground of course!” Childe must’ve picked up on your questioning gaze when he said that, as a reassuring smile found its way back to his face.

      “I suppose you’re right, I need to say goodbye to the friends that I’ve made here though. Could you help me pack my things while I go do that?” A strong nod came from Childe before you granted yourself permission to leave.

      It took you longer than you had anticipated to track down and say goodbye to all of the friends you had made here and Liyue, which you could blame Xiangling for as she made sure to make plenty of your favourite dishes for your trip.

      As you approached your building you saw the back of the boy you knew so well, duck into a dark alley. Something could’ve been wrong, so to make sure he was okay you quietly followed a little ways behind. 

      “Are you deaf or just stupid? Your job was to get close to the dumb bitch and then bring them in. What is taking so long are you kidding?” A shorter man with a large hat was currently talking to Childe, surely they couldn’t be talking about you.

      “Listen I know what my orders were, I was just waiting for a good time.” Childe’s voice was quite and his eyes were focused on the ground.

      “If they’re leaving today, you better hope that they are still in Liyue for your own well being.” With that the shorter man quickly turned away and stormed off. So it was all a setup. Everything they did and talked about... All the things he told you... You as you were backing away in disbelief your shoe scuffed against the ground, causing Childe to whip around, those once familiar blue eyes meeting yours blowing out wide.

      “(Y/n) wait-” You didn’t let him finish before you took off sprinting up to your apartment, hoping to get up there and lock yourself in. Was he going to kill you for over hearing?

      You tripped a couple times going up the stairs hoping to the gods that you would still have enough time to shut and lock your door, all the while Childe was behind you begging for you to stop, for you to come back. Relief washed over you as your eyes found your door, adrenaline still pumping wildly through you. 

      “Please please please gods let me in!” You franticly attempted to unlock your door, the adrenaline making you shaky causing you to miss the keyhole. Your feverish prayers were answered when you flung the front door open, Childe’s loud footsteps pounding against the floor behind you. Right as you were slamming the door closed Childe’s body flew against the door, causing it to swing back open, hitting you in the process and tossing you to the ground; knocking the wind out of you.

      Childe stood over you, panting as he tried to catch his breath. Was this the end? Were you going to die? Your wild eyes found his, the fear in them causing him to falter. He never wanted to see fear in your eyes, especially not because of him. The darkness of the night made it hard to see, the only light spilling in from the hallway through your open front door, spotlighting your face and the tears you had falling down your cheeks. You don’t remember when you started crying but it was obvious now. Neither of you spoke for a while, not knowing what to say. It was clear that Childe wasn’t going to kill you, but that still left a plethora of issues.

      “You...” You began to speak, your voice shaky and uncertain. Childe’s eyes silently begged for you to stop.

      “You took advantage of me. Everything was a lie. Was anything that came out of your mouth true?!” Sadness and anger flushed your face and you slowly rose to your feet.

      “(Y/n) please... I never meant for it to go on this long.” That didn’t help his situation, that sentence having the same effect of putting water on an oil fire. Anger bloomed from your chest, almost making it hard to breathe.

      “I trusted you! I guess this is all my fault for putting my trust into a Fatui Harbinger! Childe’s not even your real name! I know NOTHING about you!! And... and I let you stay with me! Keep me company! I let you put your filthy hands on me! You kissed me!!” Tears began to spill faster, but not just from you this time.

      “(Y/n) please my feelings and actions towards you were no lies!! I admit this was all set up, but then I began to truly fall in love with you!! You have to believe me!” A loud broken laugh escaped your lips, almost like a bark.

      “Believe you?! Again I don’t even know your real name-”

      “Tartaglia.” This stopped you in your tracks, you couldn’t quite make sense of what he said.

      “What?” Your words were barely above a whisper.

      “My name. It’s Tartaglia. My family calls me Ajax. I am the 11th Harbinger of the Fatui. I moved to Liyue as a debt collector. I don’t want to be in the Fatui, not ever since I met you. You knew who the Fatui were and still chose to trust me. No one except my family has ever looked at me the way you do. I am from Snezhnaya. My birthday is July 20th. I enjoy ice fishing and combat. I have many siblings, a couple younger brothers named Teucer and Anthony and I have a sister named Tonia. See? You know so much more now!” You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, you just stared at him. Childe or Tartaglia rather, was clearly getting anxious at your silence, as he shifted around more or fiddled with his gloves. He was normally so confident, so seeing him like this was shocking.

      “(Y/n) please, say something; anything.” The desperation in his voice made your chest tighten. What could you say? On one hand you wanted to just forgive him and fall into his arms, on the other hand he had completely destroyed your trust; were you really willing on forgiving him that easily?

      “Childe... I...” You could see Tartaglia flinch, not used to the tone of his code name on you tongue. He wanted so desperately for you to just say his real name. He wanted to embrace you, for you to forgive him. He would find a way out of this for the both of you. 

      “(Y/n) I will help you. I fell in love with you. I knew the second I set my eyes on you that I say going to fall for you. I will get you out of this situation, I have to. I know it’s stupid to say this now, but you have to trust me on this. After I get you out of here is when you can hit me scream at me and tell me never to see you again. I just need to make sure you’re safe.” You couldn’t hold yourself back anymore as you began to cry again. Tartaglia stepped close to you, slowly to make sure that you had a way to back up if you didn’t want him to get closer. When you didn’t move he took that as an ‘okay’ to get close, and that’s what he did.

      Slowly the distance between the two of you closed as Tartaglia sunk to his knees and clung to you. His hold on you was iron tight, as he waited and hoped for you to return the hold; which much to his surprise you did. You clung to him and cried. 

      “I will make you trust me again (y/n). I will make you trust me and I will keep you safe. You have my word. I love you.”

[marvxlousqueen]

So Fucking Sore- Bucky x Loki x Reader

i have returned from the dead to deliver this smut for my friend’s birthday LMAOO anyways for this let’s just pretend tony killed thanos in endgame and brought back nat and gamora and nobody died haha yes anyways bucky is a simp in this tbh (and i’ve never written for loki so forgive me if it’s bad LMAOO)

anyways happy bday bestie (don’t wanna expose ur name on here lol) love u <3

word count: 3.5k

The Avengers compound was more full than it had ever been. Finally, every floor was filled, every guest room taken, some sleeping bags even rolled onto the floor. Tony hadn’t planned to host the entirety of the avengers force, some odd one thousand people. After defeating Thanos and fixing the time lines, Tony felt as though they deserved a break and a celebration. Although most people were still recovering and wouldn’t stay for long at the party, he figured laughter is the best medicine- that, and he always loved an occasion to show off his hosting skills. 

Tony’s invitation even extended to the staff at the compound, which is how (Y/n) found herself holding a rsvp letter, trying to decide which box to check off. 

“Yes [   ]  (+1)   No [    ]”

She fumbled with the letter, pen getting heavy in her hand. She was seated in her office, taking her lunch break in between helping some of the injured Wakandan soldiers. Being an on-site nurse, of course she had had encounters with the team, but nothing like this party would be. 

Would it be embarrassing if I didn’t have a plus one, she thought

She was interrupted by a knock at her door. “Come in,” she said without looking up. 

The door slowly opened and Bucky entered, small smile on his face. 

“Hey.. just figured I’d bring you some snacks. Figure you must be real busy in the infirmary.”

He set a plate of strawberries on the table with a bottle of water, metal arm extending towards her. (Y/n) could briefly see her reflection in the shine of the vibranium. She lost herself for a moment, examining his arm.

“(Y/n)?” 

“What- oh yeah! Super busy. Thanks, Buck,” she gave him a smile, cheeks burning.

They had always had some sort of chemistry, but she just couldn’t quite get a read on it enough to make a move. Ever since reconnecting with Steve, Bucky had gotten back into his old ways. Still a giant flirt, just maybe a little more shy than in the 40s. He loved to toss some pick up lines around whenever he wound up in the infirmary (which was a little too often), so (Y/n) couldn’t figure out if he really liked her or was flirty with everyone. 

“What’s that you got there?” He motioned to the rsvp letter on her desk, still unanswered.

“Oh, invitation to Tony’s party thing this weekend. Think he’s trying to get a head count for seats and food. Don’t think I’m going to go, though.”

Bucky pulled up a chair to her desk, “Why wouldn’t you go? You should be celebrating too, I mean- half of us wouldn’t be in this good of a condition without your healing hands.”

His lips pulled into a smirk as he saw her smile shyly. He loved how we could always make her melt at the slightest compliement.

“I think it might be a little embarrassing to show up without a plus one.. I don’t know, it’s probably stupid, but it seems like everyone has someone, you know?”

(Y/n) shrugged, not sure how else to explain her thoughts.

Bucky nodded, running a hand through his hair, “So- what, you’re waiting for someone to ask you?” 

“I- No, but it would be nice, I guess.”

Bucky felt his face heat up. Here’s my chance, he thought. A chance to get some real action because I’ve been out of it for too fucking long. 

(Y/n) looked up at him, waiting for a response. When nothing came, she pushed through her nerves. “You don’t have a date, do you?”

His eyes snapped up to hers, wide with worry. “I-uh-no. D-don’t need one. Just a party, you know? Kinda stupid to get a date for a party like this.”

“Oh- yeah, totally,” (Y/n) stumbled over her words, facing burning with embarrassment. Did he call me stupid? Well, I guess that answers my questions- he is definitely NOT into me. 

 Bucky almost slapped himself after seeing the way (Y/n)’s face dropped. THAT CAME OUT WRONG THAT CAME OUT WRONG THAT CAME OUT WRONG!! He meant to come off as relaxed and nonchalant like he used to be, but instead he sounded like a dick. 

Before he could get an apology out, another knock was heard from her office door. “C-come in!”

Steve opened the door, “Hey- oh hey buck,” Bucky awkwardly waved at him, still busy screaming at himself, “anyways, (Y/n)- Thor’s got friends on the way and apparently they got a little scuffed up on the way from Norway, so you think you can head in and check on em?” 

“Yes! Totally! Uh- bye Bucky, I-I’ll see you.” She jumped out of her seat and rushed off down the hall, happy to get away from this tension with Bucky.

Steve watched her speed off down the hall before turning back to his old friend. “So.. how’s that going?”

Bucky sighed, “It’s not going at all. I think I accidently called her dumb? I don’t know- I kinda blacked out for a minute there.”

Steve patted him on the shoulder, “You’ll be fine. You got plenty of time to fix anything and make your move when you’re ready, all right?”

He understood how his friend was having some difficulties. While he was far more stable then he used to be, Bucky still had his moments and was working through them. Steve couldn’t be prouder. 

“I guess you’re right. As long as no other guy tries to scoop her up.”

--

(Y/n) entered the infirmary, breathing hard from the speed walk she took to escape that awkwardness. Laying on two of the beds was a tall man with long black hair and some sort of creature with knives attached to it’s hands. 

“(Y/n)! My friends require your services!” Thor shouts, embracing her in a hug.

She laughs as he squeezes her tightly, “Of course! Now let me go so I can help-”

The man who was reclining on the first bed sat up, eyebrows raised. “You’re a healer?”

She looked towards him, noting his accent was similar to Thor’s, “Well- no. Not a healer, just a nurse, but I’ll do my best. With all this new tech it’ll be real easy to batch you up. What happened?”

Thor spoke up, “My dear friend here,” he motioned toward the creature with the blades for hands, “Miek- got into a argument with my dear brother and knives were thrown. Just minor stab wounds of course, but it would be nice for them to be healed before Stark’s feast.”

“Your brother?” She looked towards the man with black hair, who offered a smile. “You’re Loki?” 

“The trickster god indeed.”

Her face heated up, partially in fear and partially in awe. Before her was the man who constantly tried to rule Earth. “Are you-,” she turned to Thor, “is he allowed to be here?”

“Of course! He aided me in our fight against Thanos. He stands as an avenger now.” 

Loki rolled his eyes and began to spin a small knife he pulled from his boot.  (Y/n) nodded, still registering everything, “Well, uh , okay then. Where’s the stab wound?” 

Loki moved to lift his shirt. On his left side was a gash still dripping blood. (Y/n) took a deep breathe, forcing herself to focus on his wound and not the outline of his abs and the way sweat was dripping down.

“Oh- jesus christ, okay. Let me get some stuff.”

The creature on the other bed made a noise and (Y/n) realized he was injured too, a small blade sticking out of his leg. 

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” She ran to the other side to grab materials and begin patching them up. The process went like a blur. All she could feel was the way Loki’s body felt warm against hers, not like the cold she was expecting from his being a dark elf. His hand brushed against hers as he admired her handy work, eyes moving from her face to her form. Finally she was done and seated back in her office, yelling at herself for being so horny today for no goddamn reason. 

As she took a seat once again, she noticed the still blank rsvp card.

God-fucking-damn it

She still had a decision to make. As she went to check the “No [   ]” box, her door opened. Loki walked in and quickly made himself comfortable, sitting across from her. 

“I wish to thank you for the help.”

(Y/n) nodded, eyes wide, “Of course, yeah, anyth-”

“I also wish to invite you to Stark’s feast.”

She froze, mouth slightly open. I don’t even know this dude! And he’s killed a shit ton of people..

“Uh, well,” oh fuck it, “I would love that. Thanks.”

He smiled, “I’ll see you then, (Y/n).”

He left and closed the door behind him. She rushed to fill out the card and went to find Tony. Knowing him, he’d probably be down in his lab playing robots with Morgan. (Y/n) hopped in the elevator and headed towards the basement above the parking garage. It stopped around 3 floors down and the sign flashed “gym.” The doors opened and Bucky entered, sweaty from trying to workout and get rid of all these new feelings he’s having. He didn’t look up from his phone until the doors closed behind him. 

His eyes landed on hers, “O-oh hey! Hi.”

(Y/n) gave him a wave and looked down at her letter, rolling it up in her hands.

“You going to the party?”

“Yep.”

“That’s good! Really good! Because you really don’t need a date for stuff like this, we’re all friends, right?” Bucky was desperately trying to make up for what he had said earlier. 

“I have a date actually.”

His eyes widened, “What? Who?”

She turned and shrugged, “Just some guy I met, don’t think you would know him.”

A light went off in his head- she’s trying to make me jealous, isn’t she! She doesn’t have a date! She just wants me to make my move!

Bucky laughed and gave her a smirk, “You don’t have to lie to impress me, doll.”

She whipped around, “Excuse me? You don’t think I can get a date?”

His cheeks turned bright red, “W-what? No, you’re just trying to make me jealous.. right?”

Her jaw dropped, “You are so full of it.” 

The elevator dinged and (Y/n) exited into the basement, leaving Bucky’s head full of questions.

Did I just fuck up again, he thought. 

The next few days past fairly quickly. (Y/n) spent her time in the medical bay once again, dealing with minor injuries and organizing the first aid kits. The few highlights she did have was a quick lunch with Loki, which seemed very abnormal for him. He showed up in her office with, as he called it, “Midgardian Trash,” which was just a plate of different snack foods that Clint had recommended. They ate in a comfortable silence, sharing a few thoughts here and there, until he took his que to leave. (Y/n) walked him to the door and was surprised when he pressed a kiss to her cheek, making her face heat up.

“See you tomorrow, dear (Y/n).”

She stumbled out a response, making him laugh at her speechlessness. After work she rushed to prepare herself for Saturday night.

--

It was probably the biggest party upstate New York had ever seen. Completely catered, a professional band, everyone dressed up in their finest clothing. (Y/n) would’ve felt completely out of place if it wasn’t for Loki’s arm wrapped around her waist as they entered. He was dressed in a black suit with a dark green tie, constantly repping his main color. Time flew as they spun on the dance floor and drank a little too much, although alcohol didn’t seem to have much effect on him. Loki excused himself to the restroom as (Y/n) downed a glass of water to sober up. She felt someone sit next to her at the bar.

“Look, I’m not interested-”

“Are you crazy? Like- do you genuinely have a death wish?”

She looked beside her and was face to face with Bucky. It felt weird to see him so dressed up. She was used to the sweats and t-shirts, but she had to admit that he cleaned up nice. 

“What are you talking about?”

He glared at her, “Loki? Your date is LOKI. Steve filled me in, I know everything. He’s killed people, (Y/n)! A lot of them!”

“So have you.”

“I-” His voice faltered. “That’s different, you know it is. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

“Well don’t be. He’s actually a pretty good guy. And here he comes now.”

Loki appeared, tapping Bucky on the shoulder, “can I help you?”

“We were just talking.”

He laughed, “seems you would rather do much more than that.”

(Y/n)’s brows furrowed, ‘What does that mean?”

Bucky’s face turned red, “nothing! I guess I’ll leave you two alone now.” 

“Nonsense,” Loki pushed him back into the chair. “Tell the woman what you think of her. Perhaps it could work out for you, or for us both.”

“What!?”

(Y/n) was confused again, “What the fuck are you guys talking about?”

Loki looked her up and down, “don’t be a fool. He fancies you, as do I. I propose an agreement-”

“wait what,” she looked at Bucky, “you like me? Like- more than a friend?”

He looked down at the table, confused and frustrated about his feelings and about how this alien douchebag was making fun of him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke up.

“Listen asshole-”

Loki rolled his eyes, “do you wish to mount the lady or no?”

(Y/n) choked on her water, “what the fuck-”

Bucky’s eyes felt like they would fall out of his head, but he responded instinctively, “yes, god yes.”

Butterflies went off in (Y/n)’s stomach, eyes locked onto Bucky’s face.

“Great. So do I. So we shall share her then? Tonight? What do you think?” 

Loki turned to (Y/n), who was in shock.

“I-what?”

“Tonight, the two of us, yes? In your chambers, perhaps.”

“I-uh, okay.”

Bucky licked his lips, “Okay?”

“Yes, I mean-fuck, why not. You are both.. wow.”

Loki laughed, “Great, but truly shocking how blind you mortals are to each other.” 

The three of them sat in a weird tension at the bar while waiting for Tony to give his toast. After about 10 minutes of emotional rambling, Tony finally raised his glass to the Avengers. (Y/n) downed her drink and looked to the two men sitting beside her. Locking eyes, they shared a common thought and all excused themselves one by one. They found their way into (Y/n)’s bedroom, where she made herself at home by throwing off the heels she had been wearing all night. 

“So-uh-”

Bucky cut off her rambling with a hot, open mouthed kiss pressed to her lips. His hands trailed down her sides and grabbed her ass. He pulled away, breathing hard. “You have no idea, how long I’ve wanted to do that.” 

He suddenly felt far more confident and began to strip off his suit, starting with the tie that had been choking him all night. Loki threw off his coat and pushed (Y/n) onto her bed. 

“I want you to kneel.” 

She stood up on her knees, face flushed, waiting for his next move. He slowly undid his pants and pulled out his cock. 

Well, yeah, he’s definitely packing

(Y/n) pressed a kiss to the tip before licking her way from the bottom back to the top. She took a deep breath and took him in her mouth as far as she could. Loki began to thrust, gripping her hair and pushing her forward, using her mouth as a fucktoy. (Y/n) opened her eyes to look up at him and noticed Bucky on the side, hand in his pants, eyes zeroed in on her mouth. She motioned for Bucky to strip, making him drop his pants and boxers, leaving him now completely exposed. His hand continued to pump his length, whimpers leaving his mouth. Loki noticed (Y/n)’s eye’s on Bucky and pulled away from her, leaving spit and precum dripping down her mouth.

“Take her.”

Bucky’s face flushed, embarrassed to be doing exactly what some other dude told him to. He walked towards the bed, cock standing proudly. 

“Is this okay?”

(Y/n) nodded yes, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him onto the bed with her. With Bucky underneath her, she lined up with his dick and sunk down onto it.

“Fuck! Jesus-fuck-”

(Y/n) couldn’t think for a moment, too distracted by how much he was stretching her. Bucky’s head was thrown up and his grip on her thighs tightened. He lifted his tips and bucked into her, making her gasp again.

Regaining her composure, (Y/n) began to roll her hips. As she rode him, Bucky sat up and his lips found their way to her neck, leaving marks up and down it. From the side of the bed, she could see Loki completely exposed now, hand running up and down his length as he watched them. He smirked as he caught her eye, making it more of a show. 

His hand moved faster before focusing on his tip. (Y/n)’s thoughts were broken from him as Bucky began to paw at her clit, rubbing it just the right way. Her hands went to his hair, pulling him close.

“God, so fucking-shit-so tight-”

Bucky’s voiced was strained, trying not to finish before her, but (Y/n) was making it difficult with how tight she was clamped around him. 

“Fuck-i’m so close, please!”

Bucky started thrusting up into her, “say my name-fuck”

“Bucky! Please!”

He rammed into her with a quick pace, hands groping her ass. (Y/n) a warmth growing in her, squeezing his dick even more. Finally, she reached her peak and exploded around him, dripping her juices down his dick. Bucky quickly flipped them over, putting one of her legs over his shoulder and started to pound into her. (Y/n) choked on her breath, completely overwhelmed from the overstimulation. Bucky’s thrusts began to stutter until he bucked one last time, going deep into her and exploding. He filled her up and slowly pulled out, seeing his cum dripping out of her.

“Holy shit.”

(Y/n) laughed, trying to catch her breath, “thanks, you too.”

“Quite the show, indeed.”

(Y/n) had almost forgot there was a whole other dude waiting to fuck her. Looking over, Loki’s cock was still standing tall, the tip burning red. 

He stood up and made his way to the bed, “On your hands and knees.”

His command made butterflies form in her stomach. (Y/n) turned over and got on her hands and knees. Loki entered her without warning, making her scream out in surprise. His hand came to her head, pushing her into the mattress. His pace picked up as he slammed into her.

“Jesus-fucking-god!”

Loki laughed through his heavy breathing, literally fucking her into the mattress.

“Let’s get something in that mouth, yes? Barnes-”

Bucky’s eyes moved from watching where Loki was connecting with (Y/n) to her mouth. “Sure-yeah, fuck yes.”

Bucky was thankful for his super soldier qualities because he was already up for round two. He got on the bed, dick facing (Y/n)’s mouth. She got back on her hands and kissed his tip before he pushed in. Bucky let (Y/n) control the pace although most times she was pushed on his dick by Loki’s hard thrusts. (Y/n) lost track of time as she getting literally fucking railed. Loki’s thrusts began to speed up and sweat was dripping down his godly body. 

(Y/n) felt the coil in her stomach tighten again, warmth spreading through out her, she was close, moaning around Bucky’s length. He pulled out of her mouth and began to jerk off, enjoying the show Loki and her were putting on. 

(Y/n) screamed as she reached her climax for the second time that night, eyes rolling to the back of her head, but Loki didn’t slow. He continued until one finally thrust, he pulled out and spilled onto her back, throwing his head back.

The noises (Y/n) was making made Bucky cum into his own hand before collapsing on the bed. 

(Y/n) dropped onto the bed, legs shaking. “Jesus- fuck.”

Bucky put a hand to her cheek, “you okay? We didn’t hurt you, did we?”

She shook her head, “No, just-fuck- I’m gonna be so fucking sore.”

[totallytododeku]

☁ studying together ( x reader hc's) ☁

characters: midoriya, bakugou, todoroki, kirishima, yaoyorozu, uraraka, + ashido

genre: fluff  <33

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

I. Midoriya 🌳🍀🌻

this poor boy is so excited to be spending time with you

but he will not take his nose out of his textbook

he can't help it

he's so happy to be in the hero course he takes his schoolwork a little too seriously

however, you can use this to your advantage ;)

normally you're almost as invested in his journey to becoming the next Symbol of Peace and achieving his dream as he is

and you would never dream of doing anything that could jeopardize it

So you were silently bouncing off the walls with glee when you realized he was impervious to distractions when it came to studying

literally anything is fair game

which is why studying with him is your new favorite time of day

pet his hair

kiss his cheeks

climb into his lap

pat his head

hold his non-dominant hand

hug him from behind his chair

rest your head on his shoulder and take a nap

do whatever you want

you can basically do anything to him while he's studying without having to worry about distracting him

he will blush a little bit of you kiss him but but you think it's adorable

lol turn on whatever tv or music you want

but only if you're done with your work!!

hes very adamant that you keep up with your work as best you can do you can graduate side by side and be pro heroes together someday

K. Bakugou 💣💥 📢

he would totally be the one to invite you to study and he would probably want to study in his dorm

it's super quiet and nobody will bother you guys because they know it's that spiky gremlin's room

overall his room just has a really relaxing atmosphere

you love being near him as much as possible

and he's much more affectionate in the comfort of his dorm room

but that doesn't mean he's gonna go easy on u ;-;

he still has his gruff attitude and will make sure you're studying every day

or else he will call u baka and force you to sit down and study until you know all your material

he's actually a great tutor tho

he writes out all the work for each problem and explains them thoroughly

all while holding in you in his arms while you sit in his lap

sometimes you can convince him to play a game with you where every time you get an answer right he gives you a kiss

but you whine when you get one wrong and he won't kiss you

he huffs before giving you a kiss while still trying to look annoyed

stupid girl he mutters

but he pulls you a bit closer to him to hide his blush and moves on to the next problem despite your giggles

S. Todoroki ❄🔥🍜

he doesn't really need to study but he doesn't know how to just .. relax

like he doesn't know how to not do what his dad tells him to do

and his dad wants him to study

it's just easier for Todoroki to do what his dad wants than to rebel

that is, it was

Until he met you and the dekusquad

obviously everyone cares about their homework and wants to graduate well and go Plus Ultra!

but study sessions with Todoroki usually end up just being you guys trying to help him be less hard on himself while you have him as a captive audience

he doesn't really mind, though, especially when it's just you two

the intimacy of studying together in comfortable silence and just

enjoying each other's company

makes his heart go (*￣∇￣*)

like i said he doesn't really need to study so he'll just end up helping you review material

please just ... hold his hand :)

after you're done studying for the day just pull him into a hug and over to your bed

he needs a nap

you feel warm fuzzies inside from how caring he's been to sit with you while you finished your homework and bring you warm tea

you don't even think you just

Time for cuddles :3

it becomes your daily ritual to study together and then cuddle

he always falls asleep in your arms with a small smile

E. Kirishima 🗿🗿🗿

(HAHAHSHNSJ THE 🗿 EMOJI OMG I'M LITERALLY SO FUNNY LOL I'M CRYING)

"Okay, Y/N, let's study hard and do our homework like men!" *fist-pumping the air and grinning like an idiot*

"...what's so funny? "

he doesn't care if you're not a man it's his trademark

he likes to study at his desk because he says it's "important to stay focused and work diligently"

generally he is the least focused person, ever. besides kaminari.

however, he's so energetic and enthusiastic that once you sit down and start studying he'll be able to keep your motivation up until you've finished all your homework

GREAT at studying for tests and quizzes (in theory)

he will never give up

like I said he could keep studying for hours once he sets his mind to it

So you have to compromise and get him to study in short bursts throughout the day to help him have a better chance of remembering anything ;-;

his memory is not great but it's kinda cute

you, being the smart cookie that u are, realized the best way to help him memorize things was to study with flashcards frequently throughout the weekend while doing other activities

so you plan to hang out together and do something fun every week while having your study material on index cards in your back pockets

it's a literal study date.

a weekly date out to the mall or the park or a little coffee shop but with math trivia thrown in randomly throughout the afternoon!! :D

Of course he was ready to turn it into a game he's a literal puppy

he just wants to show you you can be proud of him

you giggle lightly when you hear him say that and let him know that you'll always be proud of him, no matter what

M. Yaoyorozu 👑🏆☕

studyblr wants what u have.

studying in momo's room makes you feel like a Victorian young lady studying moral philosophy, writing poetry about the mourning doves outside the garden window, and waiting for her husband to come home from sailing the seven seas

it's your Belle moment where she's in the royal library except it's every day

stacks of beautiful, old books

the smell of the crisp, white pages

soft classical music floating through the air

the window cracked open slightly

and you are the luckiest student in all of UA because you get to study with the smartest girl in the whole school

she's also gorgeous and sweet and perfect which def doesn't hurt

u know that joke that ur teacher can spend a year explaining something and u never understand but then a random indian guy on YouTube explains it in 2 minutes and you finally get it

she is that random indian guy

you will never struggle with a single concept after you start studying with her

And she's so proud of you for every little question you answer correctly

(even thought she's the one that explained it all so well in the first place)

it's the definition of comfortable silence

she insists that neither of you study too hard and that you take lots of breaks to stretch

she says its to help you stay concentrated but really she just wants to feel your gentle hands on her shoulders as you massage out the knots

you take turns kneading the tension out of each other's shoulders

you feel a pleasant tingle down your spine at the feeling of her soft breath on the back of your neck

She pulls away and you share awkward smiles, neither of you realizing the other one of blushing, too

(((*≧艸≦)ﾌﾟﾌﾟｯ

O. Uraraka 🌜🚀🙏

ur actually super productive study buddies

Like u started studying together and then all of a sudden you were almost at the top of your class

she's just so sweet that being with her gives you the energy you need to write that essay all in one sitting instead of procrastinating like a normal person

Shows up at your dorm with snacks and drinks to keep your energy up!! :D

even though she's still going to end up getting sleepy anyway later in the afternoon

You get most of your studying done at the beginning of your study date so it's not really a problem

you know she doesn't have a lot of money to be throwing around so you pay for dinner every night

It's usually takeout but sometimes you guys make your own dinner for fun!

it always turns out almost inedible and burned because neither of you were paying attention to the stove

don't let baku see it or he'll start screaming about how you need to try your best at everything so he can beat you fair and square and that includes cooking too

neither you nor uraraka can handle spicey food so you never eat what Bakugou cooks for the class

You grab a few bags of chips and some sushi and shut yourselves in your dorm to pull an all-nighter study session about once a month

it should make you tired but, again, studying with her is so enjoyable that you don't mind

u two enjoy each others company in studying so much that you sometimes read ahead in your textbooks just to be able to study more

overall, hanging out with her is just lighthearted and filled with giggles

and you just so happen to get all your homework done along the way

M. Ashido 👾👽🚿

"studying" with her is so much fun

Hanging out with Mina in general is so much fun

it's impossible not to smile when she's around so even if you have a huge exam tomorrow, all your worries fade away just from being with her

She is pretty distracting in cases where you actually wanted to get stuff done

But you don't care

Change of plans

you're doing mani pedi's with Mina

No more studying

it's not as bad as it sounds though

You're not slacking off or anything and you can still keep your grades up with help from your other friends like Momo and Iida

you guys are just goofing off in the privacy of your dorm room when you should be studying

"It's not a crime to be young, Y/ N ;)"

she's just so energetic and happy like a little pink ball of sunshine

you can't help but laugh at her silliness and cute antics after a long day of classes

she makes your heart beat faster like you're on a roller coaster but without the nerves

somehow you feel giddy and comfortable in her presence at the same time

it doesn't matter what you two are doing, you always have fun

make sure she goes to bed on time, though, or she might end up baking a seven-tier cake at 3 am and Bakugou will scream at you for waking him up

don't feed her after midnight lmao

i started writing this after i almost died of boredom in my online calc class. my senioritis is already kicking in and it's still September (｡-ω-)  

[blxetsi]

modern sasha braus dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!sasha braus x gn!reader

had to write something for my queen 😌✨

- she shares her food with you. I Dont Care She Does

- also since this is a modern au i dont think she would have such an obsession with food as she does in the canonverse (if we can even call it an obsession) i still think she would have a big appetite (and she'd be proud of it tf 😏🙏) but i just dont see her always being hungry as the fandom makes her out to be

- really likes to hold hands with you

- i think itd be really cute if she was studying to become a baker ?? maybe taking a culinary course at the university you two attend ?? maybe you somehow met there or through a friend

- i think she'd still be insecure about her accent (ig if this is au is set in america she'd be from the south 😐🤚) and would speak kind of like a robot to people she didn't know that well

- connie and jean ALWAYS bring out her accent tho,, like with them she can really be herself

- i think when you were starting to get to know her she would be speaking very formally, and youd take it like shes being kinda stand offish or like,, just doesnt wanna talk so youre thinking "okay maybe she doesnt wanna be friends 😁👍" and would back off

- now sasha's upset because you are so cool and unique and she just wants to know so much about you but youve been very distant lately ?? like did she do something wrong ??

- she tells connie, jean, marco, and niccolo one night and connie and jean are on the side of "find y/n and demand to know why their behavior has changed" while marco and niccolo are on the side of "respectfully dm y/n and ask why they havent been wanting to see sasha recently"

- sasha goes with the latter of the two and dms you after passing you in the dining hall, you two literally keep glancing at each other, texting while you sit with your respective friend groups

- after everything gets cleared up sasha is immediately inviting you to hang out with her crew, and even getting some of her other friends like eren, mikasa, and ymir and historia to come join too

- if she has all the people shes comfortable with there, itll be less scary talking with her accent !

- You Love It. You Think Its Adorable.

- you guys would definitely have a friends to lovers type relationship

- like friendly hugs turn into slightly longer hugs, and now sasha will constantly ask to sit next to you during movie nights

- loves to rest her head on your lap while she spreads across the couch

- i think you two would have your first kiss in niccolos apartment

- you two were sitting in his kitchen, with sasha munching on the leftover food he made that night for your get together

- his mom had called him so he decided to leave to go to his bedroom to answer it

- and slowly you guys just kind of,,,, leaned in 🙈✨

- it was slow and really romantic, kinda rough with the crumbs that were around sasha's lips but you didn't mind

- niccolo barged in and ruined the moment 😐🤚 good going pal 😁👍

- you two were so shocked that you two tried to leave

- ended up just walking down the road in silence like wtf i thought yall were trying to get away from each other 😭😭😭😭

- sasha ended up staying the night 🤩‼️

- NOT in a sexual way

- but in like a,,,, rue and jules kinda way where jules comes in through the window (but only sasha didnt come in through the window she came in the front door with you) and you two held each other and gave each other smooches for the rest of the night

- sasha woke up late and missed her morning classes 😐🤚 didnt even care and went back to sleep with you

- i think for the most part you get along well with her friend group

- youre definitely closer to connie, jean, niccolo, marco, and historia

- ymir teases you guys a lot and you cant tell if what she says is just jokes (it always is) or if shes completely serious

- eren, mikasa, armin, annie, along with reiner and bertholdt are more of aquantances to you, just because you dont see them as often as you do the others

- she has such a weird relationship with her english professor

- will literally complain how much work he gives his class and then the next day will gush about how great he his bc he gave her a granola bar for her effort in her assignment

- girl pick a script and stick to it 😐🤚

- has a collection of stuffies on her bed. i dont make the rules.

- anytime theres a carnival in town she drags EVERYONE there.

- you all agree to split up into groups so you can all check out what you want, but you always agree to meet up and eat funnel cake together 🥺

- sasha tries to get you to win her new stuffies

- if you cant do it, or just want some for yourself, shes calling connie and niccolo up PLEADING with them to come find you guys,

- then she claims theres been an ACCIDENT and that you two need help

- niccolo is zooming bc he cares abt his besties 😌✨

- connie texts jean and marco to come find you guys too 😭😭😭

- who gets a kick and a lecture for lying courtesy of niccolo ? sasha. but who also gets a bunch of stuffies won for her courtesy of niccolo ? sasha.

- for your anniversary i think she'd want to do something really fun with you

- she'd set up a pillow fort and have a bunch ot string lights and stuff, have all of her favourite stuffies (which are the ones she thinks of you when she sees) in there too.

- she has chips, she baked little pastries and cookies, and she ordered your favourite takeout

- you guys just watch whatever you want on netflix or whatever and its such a nice night

- it becomes a tradition for you guys, but you two always take turns with setup

- one year sasha did all of the planning, baking and whatnot ? okay now its your turn 😁👍

- you guys even started doing themes now 🤩

- if you guys play board games with your friends youre on sasha's side whether you want to be or not.

- shes also the kind of person that says "i can win fair and square !" but then when bertholdt starts kicking her ass in monopoly her script changes real quick 🙄

- now its "y/n,,, give me some of ur money" and "y/n, buy this property for me" like girl,,,, what happened to playing fair 😍⁉️

- will try and do all of those s/o pranks you see on tiktok

- its hard to get a genuine reaction out of you bc you can TELL SHES RECORDING but she tries anyways

- we love a perservering queen 😌✨

- will call you at random times of the day asking if you guys can see each other

- "y/n ??? are you there ??" "sasha its 2am wtf do you want 😐" "do you wanna ride your bike with me down to the park 🥺"

- also is very observant, knows when youre overworking yourself

- will try and pull you away from what youre working on like "lets go get you something to drink, or maybe we can watch an episode of that show you like before you continue working !"

- if youre persistent that you just HAVE to finish it tonight and cant stop and take a break she'll respect that, until you stay at your laptop for over an hour 😐

- just softly pulls you away like "no lovebug, lets get some sleep okay ?"

- is also very protective of you

- overheard someone making fun of you ?? talking shit ??? her besties better hold her back before she gets suspended 😤‼️

- and since connie and jean absolutely ADORE you, you better believe theyre helping their girl sasha out

- those three are the LEADERS of the "protect y/n club"

- it just becomes niccolo and marco trying to dissolve the situation before it gets physical, and then reiner and armin joining when they walk directly into the chaos

- armin tells you what happened and as much as youre thankful that sasha cares about you so much that she'd defend you like that, you lecture her, jean and connie on not making scenes like that again

- sasha's love language is kind of like,, a mixture of quality time and physical touch

- she just really loves spending time with you, but also very much enjoys being in your arms

- she doesnt shy away from it, and is usually the one to initiate those things

- will hold your hand PROUDLY down hallways or on streets

- always hypes you up too, shes very much so your personal hypeman

- "oh lovebug you look SO GOOD rn oh my god" "sasha pls im in my pyjamas" "and you look like a model baby !"

- sasha is very stubborn however, and if you guys ever fight she is NEVER the one to apologize first, or seek you out to talk about it

- even if shes in the wrong she cant bring herself to admit it, she dug herself into such a deep hole with the stance she took that she doesnt want to take the walk of shame in admitting that she wasnt right

- this can cause a lot of problems in your relationship, but after you explain how much it affects you, shes trying to change

- will always work on her stubborn-ness and pride

- and it actually makes her feel a lot better being able to admit defeat, or being wrong

- she really likes being communicative and honest, especially with you

- i think overall your relationship with sasha is very very fun, filled with good memories, good food, good friends, and most importantly, love.

no bc i really do love her 😐🤚 lemme marry miss braus rq 😏✨

hope u guys enjoyed !! remember requests are open so if you have anything youd like me to write DONT BE SHY ❤️‼️

[danteinthedevildom]

Ngl I’ve been thinkin over the brother’s fears stuff from the most recent (?) lessons (bc I’m a dirty cheat and saw spoilers so ofc I went and looked up as much shit as I could) and like,

Ok shovin thots under the cut bc it got long oop. Also bc spoilers but y’know.

1 - Lucifer thinkin the “light” (which is ofc God lbr) was his fear despite not fearin it at all is p. weird. Like there was no hesitation, no fear. He just looked at it and went “ew it’s you never thot I’d see you again” and killed it. So clearly that’s NOT his actual fear. Def. Simeon’s I think, like he says a lil later.

So either Lucifer knew it was Simeon’s and “claimed” it to save Simeon’s feelins or smthn or he legit figured it was his fear bc the only thing he could think to be scared of is the guy who threw him out. 

Which like. Is such a fuckin non-answer re: his actual fear (tho he did say once goin back to the Celestial Realm was his “greatest fear” or smthn so maybe that’s still true so they didn’t figure that bringin it up again’d be that fun), but is interestin bc it says a lot abt how he sees God. 

Like. He got beat and kicked out and had his sister (almost) killed, but he’s still got 0 goddamn fear of his dad. Literal creator of everything God with a capital G don’t scare him. I figure bc he already did the worst thing he could’a done, and he survived that, so what else’s there to fear?

Tho it bein Simeon’s fear is... hm. Def. makes it sound like Simeon’s fearin seein God again. Either bc that’s just smthn any angel’d fear - maybe they only see God one-on-one if they’ve done smthn wrong so that’d be like seein your headteacher pop up outta nowhere, knowin he only comes outta the teacher’s room when you done fucked up - or bc he’s hidin smthn that makes seein God a really Bad Thing. Guilt or worries over some kinda sin? 

I mean duh. He’s in love with MC. That ain’t a hidden thing anymore. He’s kissed MC plenty times and I think even said the L-word once or twice. That’s def. grounds to get murderised (as we know, RIP Lilith). 

Also hella interestin in a metaphorical sense tho. Like, God’s a light. Simeon’s scared of somethin comin to light. Da-dum-tss, but what a hella cool way of showin that it’s a (technical) secret that’s got him all wound up.

2 - Mammon and Levi both fearin demon-form Lucifer is... understandable, but also kinda sad. Like, legit sad, not “wow ur so sad lol”. 

Levi’s way of sayin it makes sense tho. Lucifer only goes full demon form when he’s hella pissed, or outta control. He’s so damn powerful he don’t need to go into that form often, bc he can handle p. much anythin without it - plus he’s just got a p. good control on himself, so no accidental demon-form slips.

Unless ofc he’s so fuckin angry that it just leaps out. We’ve seen it. He gets murderous, and boom - form’s out. Or, situation’s so damn dire it’s got him on edge, and boom - form’s out. Him bein in demon form’s never good.

But him bein in demon form and after them is even worse.

Makes me wonder tho. If it’d just been angry Lucifer, why’d Levi specify it as his demon form’s anger? He gets angry at them hella often, and Mams esp. is strung up p. much daily, so clearly they’re not scared of him bein angry at them. 

It’s him bein angry at them while enraged. So either they’ve both pissed him off before bad enough that he’s gone full demon form, and whatever happened then was so fuckin terrifyin they’ve never recovered from it, 

Or they know that demon form Lucifer is scary shit, and even tho he’s not gone for them like that before, it’s smthn they’re terrified of in principle. Like, you’ve seen your dad mad on the phone before, and he’s never yelled at you like that, but you know he’s capable of it and that’s terrifyin as shit bc what if you do smthn that pisses him off enough to yell at you like that?

A lil part of me leans towards the latter bc tho they were scared it wasn’t smthn Levi said as tho it’d happened. More like smthn he’s hypothetically scared of. Plus idk what times Lucifer’d be so pissed he goes full rage at them? His demon form’s only really come out when the family’s in danger. Even shit like Lotan bein summoned don’t usually end in a demon form Lucifer (I’m p. sure anyway).

3 - Ok so like who was surprised by this. Asmo’s beauty is p. integral to who he is. He’s nothin if he’s not beautiful, and that’s what I think scares him. Not the bein ugly, but that bein ugly means he’s not Asmo.

Means he can’t get the attention he needs, can’t be loved by ppl, won’t get all the adoration and affection - he won’t be popular. And Asmo hella needs to be reassured that he’s pretty and loved. It’s who he is and what his identity is based on. 

Plus we’ve seen I’m p. sure a couple scenes where he’s been a lil worried/nervous abt if MC likes him for him. Beyond the beauty. He legit don’t think there’s anythin worth lovin if he’s not pretty, so ofc him bein ugly’s gonna be his biggest fear. Bc who’s gonna love him then. 

4 - Also smthn no-one’s gonna be surprised by. It’s his whole sense of identity. That’s not gonna go away for him overnight, y’know? The fact that it was angel Lucifer, tho - not just, like, normal Lucifer - was a p. cool touch.

That’s his roots. Not Lucifer the demon - Lucifer the angel. That’s what he’s based on. Smthn he never was but was always part of. 

He’s legit just the Lil Hal-Dirk connundrum which jfc that’s showin my fandoms huh. Is smthn that comes from smthn else its own unique person, or is it just a copy that’s always gonna get drawn back to what it was? How can it be original when everythin it is came from smthn else? 

That’s a hell of an identity crisis. Even bein Wrath and bein p. physically different and even likin different shit’s not enough to stop that feelin of ig imposter syndrome? Or of just bein a fragment of smthn else. Esp. when you know everyone else’s their own damn being. No one can understand where he’s comin from bc his “birth” was totally unique. He’s not just, like, Lucifer’s son or whatever - he’s legit a part of Lucifer’s emotions that just got plopped out one day. 

(Except ofc he’s not bc Lucifer knew he was different and felt him like a different presence for a while before the Fall but Satan’s got his memories and that’s kinda like bein someone anyway, ain’t it?)

So yeah, not surprisin, but also? I rlly hope he gets confident in who he is one day. Legit the idea that he’s still sittin there goin “who am I?” just hurts. 

5 - This bitch got trauma. Lbr it was either gonna be Belphie or it was gonna be Lilith and we all knew that was comin. Beel’s still not over the death of Lilith and his “role” in it (bc survivor’s guilt is a bitch and he’s still thinkin “not being able to save two ppl in two different places at the same time” is a sin), so losin anyone else is gonna hurt him.

But bein the reason he lost them? Oh that’s gonna hurt him even more. Esp. with the blame he’s still puttin on himself. It’s one thing to be like the passive cause that someone died but bein the active cause? Even by accident? Poor Beel. 

I don’t think anythin could’a been worse for him. That ain’t just a fear, that’s outright smthn he’s still strugglin with PTSD over. Like hell no shit he almost/did break down over it, that’s just shovin a trigger right in his face. 

6 - Bein alone, bein abandoned, not bein able to find anyone in pure darkness. That’s... damn. Either that’s lingerin trauma from bein locked up in the attic, knowin that no one was gonna find him or could hear him (which, fuck, how much did he try’n call for his brothers to come get him only to realise no one was gonna come?), or smthn set up that fear before the attic and the attic just made it hells of worse.

Like that wasn’t just “bein in a room apart from ppl”, it was outright “not knowin where anyone is, or seein/hearin/feelin them”. Total sensory deprivation. 

Oh. His worst fear’s not feelin anythin. That’s. Y’all. 

Idk how to end this now I’m just big hurty thinkin abt the last two jfc. No wonder Belphie’s always wantin to be asleep next to smthn. “He sleeps better with someone there” no sir you just hella fear sleepin bc your sin’s legit exactly what you’re terrified of and havin smthn there’s the best way to fix it. 

[procrastinationonvacation]

Your Lalwen answer was great! I loved it! Would you be up for talking maybe about Curufinrod? (Platonic or romantic, depends on how you see them) If not, please ignore and I’ll send another ask! (I have a lot of things I’d like to ask, if that’s OK)

- Captain Anon

Hi Captain anon!! You bet I would! (fyi im going platonically) and of course it’s ok for you to ask more stuff, seriously youre just enabling me to skip past the internal debates/hole digging that normally come with sharing my thoughts.

If I ever decide to skip an ask, I’ll let u know. That being said exams are coming up for me which means if im actually successful at studying (I wont be) I might not get back to you as quickly :)

-

Finrod probably sees Curufin like one of those bastard cats who you love very much. Then they swipe a vase off the shelf for the fifth time in a week and like, Finrod knows the noldor are cursed to suffer in life, but is this necessary?? He *just* finished sweeping!! But then when he’s sick his cat wont leave his side, y’all know what I mean, cats give off affectionate Vibes. At the end of the day, even if Curufin pulls a lot of shit, Finrod knows (or thinks he knows) he’s got his back.

Curufin thinks about Finrod the same way I think about the hobbit movies. Does he agree with him? No. Does he love them anyways? Hell yeah, that is HIS dumb ass cousin, line the haters up, Curufin’s got some beheading to do.

(other stuff under cut)

The relationship over time:

Now then, I feel like Curufin first met Finrod through Celegorm. They both are out door adventure types, though Celegorm and Aredhel’s style of out door adventure might have been a little more….muddy… than Finrod would have preferred. So when he meets Curufin, who takes after Celegorm in his love of the outdoors, but would rather a more orderly exploration.

They’re like the two sort-of-friends who end up together because they hate roller coasters and everyone’s at an amusement park.

And I say sort of friends because I imagine that in Valinor, Curufin is rather suspicious of the cousins. He spends most of his time around Feanor, who very much dislikes the *half* family. Not that Feanor blocks his kids from interacting with them, but I think Curufin would absorb at least some of that negativity towards the cousins.

They do end up being pretty close in the end though, I think Fingon rescuing Maedhros made him kinda realize “oh hey they have good attributes too, dont they” but that’s an awkward position, because maybe they’re good people but it’s not like he’s going to tell Them that. He does tell Tyelpe though: the cousins are nice people, people who they should protect, people who’d protect them.

At some point, he and Finrod end up in a “kids who dont like roller coasters but love the park” trip again and I dont see Curufin as the type to say “im sorry” but more of an incredibly awkward “hey im really glad ur here with us. It means a lot to us that you came.” and nice gestures. Finrod gets what he’s trying to do, and even if he wont tell Curufin he forgives him (Finrod wants a formal apology first) he’s wayyy too nice of a person not to be kind right back.

-

personalities:

Curufin: I think when they were in Valinor and first in Beleriand, Curufin was a pretty decent person, ya know? Sure, he inherited his fathers ambition and pride, but I think he would have been fine if it weren’t for the oath.

—Hi we’re talking about loyalty now. Feel free to skip this. Listen, the best way I can think to describe this is it’s like the love Feanor had for his father and silmarils. Selective, possessive, it wants them to be happy and safe but only with them, only in their way. It’s the same way they wrote the oath, rather twisted and wrong.

I dont think Curufin, or any of the brothers, started out like that. But I think by the late parts of the book, the oath had integrated itself into their thoughts, especially Curufin’s. A lot of them would hate the oath, but I dont think he could bring himself to hate it too. His father wrote it, his father had them swear it, and like I said: loyal. 

So I think the oath destroyed him fastest, and his friendship with Finrod got twisted to be that way too.

I really like the version of things where Curufin knows there’s something really wrong with him, but refuses to believe its the oath. And I Especially like the version where he’s relieved when Celebrimbor wont follow them anymore, because he wont be dragged down with them.—

*inhales* ok after that long and off topic tangent. I think Finrod doesn’t really notice the change the oath has affected in Curufin until Beren and Luthien because 1. a bunch of his people just died, 2.he’s always been a little prickly anyways, and 3.Finrod’s probably preoccupied too with Angrod and Aegnor being dead.

Finrod: I think y’all know my take on Finrod but essentially it boils down to: he is a good, competent leader but also a personal disaster. He has my full love and support. Gets emotionally attached to everything. Has probably held a funeral for his potted plant. RIP Mr. Green Leaf (plant not person) you were a good plant.

[daemour]

Title: Find You

Genre: Angst, Fluff, a ‘lil Smut

Pairing: Jinyoung x Jaebeom, minor Jinyoung x Youngjae, for 5 seconds a side of Ten x Yugyeom

Summary: Jinyoung’s kinda a dumbass. Jaebeom’s even more of a dumbass, but he’s also kind of an asshole (in the best way possible.)

Warnings: Jinyoung suxxs a dick; the smut scene is just under 600 words out of 13k

Word count: 13482

CRIS CRIS CRIS @limjaeseven​ I LOVE YOU!! thanks for all the stuff you do for me; i hope this can somehow repay it!! :)))))) love you broskiiiiiii lets hope for many great times~! also heres ur dumb gays :)))) <3333

I struggled with this A  L O T so i hope you guys like it owo~

When Jinyoung walked out of his room and saw Jaebeom in the kitchen, that wasn’t unusual. The older one did tend to use the spare key whenever he didn’t want to cook. What was unusual, however, was the fact that Jaebeom had no shirt on.

As much as Jinyoung would like to ogle Jaebeom’s fine ass, he had more questions than wishes. “Hyung? What are you doing?” Jaebeom spun around, a sheepish smile on his face, and Jinyoung repeated the mantra, don’t look at tiddies, don’t look at tiddies over and over to himself. It’s a hard battle, and Jinyoung lost it almost immediately. Jaebeom was amused.

“My eyes are up here, Nyoungie. Not on my nipples.” Jinyoung would like the floor to swallow him up, please. “Anyways; I left my keys at home when I went to work, but I found your keys in my car. I left them in there by accident,” Jaebeom explained, laughing. “I borrowed your couch if that’s fine.”

Yes, that’s so fine. Always fine. You could even use my bed. With me still in it, of course. “Yeah, go ahead. Next time, just text me. I have your spare set of keys, remember?” Jaebeom’s mouth opened, and Jinyoung could tell he forgot.

“Yeah.” Jaebeom drew out the diphthong and smiled. “Do you want breakfast?”

“God, yes please,” Jinyoung groans. “Thanks, man. You’re a lifesaver. God, you’re literally the perfect boyfriend.”

Jaebeom offers a sheepish smile, leaning across the counter and poking Jinyoung in the cheek affectionately. “Not perfect, but I made rice pudding and toast.” He slid a plate across to Jinyoung, who thanked him gratefully. “I’ll be out of your hair then.” He started to leave when Jinyoung frowned.

“Where’s your shirt?”

Jaebeom shrugged.

“I don’t know; I think some girl at the club stole it when I spilt a drink on myself and went to wipe it off.” The older left without another word, and Jinyoung could feel his heart hurt. He forgot Jaebeom was painfully straight, and that he was painfully gay. He was once again reminded that his crush was indeed one-sided. And yes, his crush did just walk out of his door with no shirt on.

When Jinyoung used to think he was straight, he remembered feeling romantic feelings towards Jaebeom and passing it off as wanting to be best friends forever. And now that he knew for sure he’s into boys, he found out the hard way that best friends just wasn’t what he wanted to be. But that couldn’t be helped. Jaebeom would never want to be with him, and Jinyoung would just have to suffer.

Alas, he couldn’t wallow in self-pity today. His brother, Yugyeom, was flying in with his best friend BamBam, and Jinyoung had to go pick them up. He pulled on some clothes he knew would only just barely match, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. He’s going to be early, so he would stop in a coffee shop near the airport and pick up some drinks.

The coffee shop, Ars Coffee, was busy, but not too busy that Jinyoung would be late, so he stepped in and waited in line. As he looked around the cute shop decorated in pictures of puppies and kittens, he noticed a corner of the shop that reminded him of the first time he had met Jaebeom. The older had been frantically studying and Jinyoung was hustling to find an open seat, tripping over Jaebeom’s backpack and landing in the older’s lap. The older had delivered the line, “you’re not my type, but nice ass,” and the two ended up talking until the shop closed. They exchanged numbers, and the rest was history.

However, Jinyoung was brought back to the present with an ‘ahem’ coming from behind the counter. It’s his turn to order. “Ah- yes, sorry. I’ll take a vanilla latte, an iced choco, and an iced Americano.” The barista laughed, his smile too wide for his face, and marked down the order.

“I hope all that isn’t for you. That’s a lot of sugar, not to mention caffeine.”

Jinyoung smiled back. “Who knows? I could be a college student frantically studying for last-minute exams.”

The barista, Youngjae judging by the nametag, laughed again. “The second semester just ended; you’d be on break. So I’ll just assume you’re apologising to your three girlfriends since they just found out you’ve been double- no, triple-timing them.”

“Boyfriends,” Jinyoung corrects without thinking, and then his head snapped up, eyes wide. “What I mean is- I don’t- I-”

Youngjae offered a sympathetic smile. “It’s all right. I am too,” he reassured, adding that last bit in a lowered voice. “That will be 9,321 won. Which drink is yours?”

Jinyoung fished the bills out of his back pocket, offering it to Youngjae who returned the change.

“Mine is the vanilla latte,” Jinyoung answered, stepping to the side to let the next person come forward to order, and waited patiently. After a few people from ahead of him received their drinks, he saw Youngjae prepare his three drinks, and he felt a twinge of guilt when he realised Youngjae was the only employee at the store.

When he moved to pick up the drinks, he opened his mouth to offer apologies for ordering such a long list of drinks. However, Youngjae rushed off before he even could, just to tend to another customer. Jinyoung left, and when pulling out his drink, noticed a “call me, 2-747-5143 - Choi Youngjae” messily scrawled right under the drink’s label. Cute. He input the number into his phone and took off for the airport.

He’s running late; the coffee shop took longer than he thought, and Jinyoung rushed into the terminal Yugyeom had texted him. He saw his brother, slouching as always, with BamBam, just as skinny, standing up straight next to him. At least his friend had good posture; Jinyoung had been trying to fix his brother’s bad habit for years. “Yah, Kim Yugyeom, straighten up!”

Yugyeom’s head jerked up, and a smile spread across his face. “Hyung!” The tallest bounded over, BamBam following, and enveloped Jinyoung in a tight hug. “How are you?”

Jinyoung laughed. “You act like you haven’t lived with me for twenty-four years. I’m doing well. How are you, Yugyeom, BamBam?” Yugyeom, as expected, immediately launched into a monologue about how his time in Thailand with BamBam’s family was. The fact that he didn’t really like durian was the only bit that stuck in Jinyoung’s head. But he didn’t mind; as much as he would never admit it to anyone’s face, he did miss his younger sibling. Jaebeom just didn’t fill in the gaps Yugyeom had left.

“Hyung, hyung, hyung, did you hear?” Jinyoung snapped his head toward the younger. The younger was telling him something but as mentioned, Jinyoung wasn’t really listening.

“Sorry, Gyeom, what is it?”

“Jaebeom hyung’s roommate is coming as well, you know? Jackson Wang? From when Jaebeom hyung studied in Hong Kong.” Ah. Jinyoung remembered the loud kid he met when he visited Jaebeom during their summer break three years ago. The memory that stood out the most was Jackson immediately declared himself Jinyoung’s best friend. It would be nice to see him again, Jinyoung guessed, but it’s sad Jaebeom would be spending more time with Jackson and Jinyoung instead of just Jinyoung.

Wait, what the hell was he doing?

Has he really gotten so deep into his crush that he’s trying to break off Jaebeom’s friendships? Jinyoung tonks his head on the steering wheel.

“Hyung?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just…forgot how to drive.” Jinyoung came up with the lamest excuse, and Yugyeom stared at him for a second.

“Are you drunk?”

Instead of gracing him with an answer, Jinyoung started the car and stepped on it (as much was deemed safe).

Yugyeom cackled in his ear, and the oldest of the three aimed a slap on Yugyeom’s chest.

“There are drinks in the back for you,” Jinyoung said, and Yugyeom went for the latte. Before Jinyoung could stop him, Yugyeom noticed the message. To Jinyoung’s relief, however, the younger didn’t mention it, only raising an eyebrow and glancing at Jinyoung’s side profile.

“Hyung, how’s Jaebeom hyung doing?” BamBam broke the silence.

“Jaebeom hyung? He’s doing fine. Same old same old. Doing whatever he pleases. He went to a club yesterday and ended up half-naked on my couch and left to go who knows where and I’m definitely not suffering from an unrequited crush on him. Can’t he just not be so blatantly straight? I’m literally dying because he can’t handle not being hot every second of the day.” With each word that came out of Jinyoung’s mouth, his pitch rose.

BamBam and Yugyeom were quiet for the rest of the ride, and Jinyoung refrained from jumping out of the car lest they would crash. They finally pulled up to the building, and BamBam left the tense atmosphere as quickly as he could. Yugyeom ready to leave, turned to Jinyoung, opened and closed his mouth as if deciding on what to say. “Hyung…maybe you should go on that date.” With that final sentence, Yugyeom exits as well, leaving Jinyoung in the car to ponder over when his life suddenly turned into such a mess.

After concluding his life became a mess once he was born, Jinyoung headed inside to find Yugyeom and BamBam had already made themselves at home and were currently trying to set up the ancient Wii.

“Have you two unpacked already? That was fast.” Jinyoung commented, unimpressed, and Yugyeom looked up at him.

“Yeah, we unpacked…”

“…the Wii.” BamBam finished Yugyeom’s answer and Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“Go unpack and then play Wii. I don’t want to trip over any of your bags.” Yugyeom groaned but got up obediently and BamBam followed like a good friend. Once they disappeared from sight, Jinyoung headed into his own room, with the coffee cup from Ars.

Jinyoung plopped down on his bed and opened the contacts on his phone. He stares at the number on the cup. After a moment of deliberation, he inputs it into his phone, saving the contact as ‘Ars - Choi Youngjae” and stares at the empty profile before finally tapping on “message.” He waited again, then sighed, throwing his phone onto the bed and leaving to get something to eat. Youngjae was still probably working and Jinyoung didn’t want to bother him.

Once Yugyeom and BamBam finished unpacking, they, predictably, connected the Wii and coerced (read: threatened) Jinyoung to join them in a Mario Kart championship.

In the middle of Rainbow Road, the door unlocked, and Jinyoung forfeited Yoshi to answer the door. Jaebeom and Jackson stood behind the door, and Jinyoung paused for a minute before letting them in. “Jackson! It’s good to see you again. How have you been?”

Jackson grinned, slapping Jinyoung on the back.

“Hey, Park Gae!” God, Jinyoung forgot about the cute nickname Jackson gave him back in Hong Kong. Jackson waited expectantly, and Jinyoung sighed.

“Sorry. Wang Gae, it’s good to see you again. How have you been?” Jinyoung complied.

“I’m doing well; I’ve actually recently gotten a job here teaching fencing, so I’ll be seeing you guys more often!” Oh. Jinyoung didn’t think Jackson would be staying for that long.

“Hyungs!” Yugyeom finally got up from the couch, having beaten BamBam by a hair and Jinyoung by a mile. Jaebeom grinned endearingly as always, hooking an arm around Yugyeom’s neck and ruffling his hair. “Jaebeom hyung, don’t mess up my hair!”

“What, are you trying to impress the ladies?” Jaebeom teased, and Jinyoung stiffened slightly.

“Yugyeom, have you been trying to impress any ladies-“

Jinyoung started to narrow his eyes, and Yugyeom squawked, pulling himself out of Jaebeom’s grip.

“What- No!” Glancing at Jinyoung’s unwavering glare, Yugyeom immediately looked away and up.

“Kim Yugyeom.”

“Really! Seriously, hyung, no way! No girls.” Yugyeom whined. “I haven’t!” He emphasized the last word.

“No girls?” Jaebeom took this opportunity to tease him further. “What about guys? Any hot men in Thailand who caught your interest?”

Yugyeom glanced back at BamBam, and Jinyoung caught the sly movement.

“There are?” Jinyoung almost screamed, feeling like he might die. His baby brother? Having a crush? Unheard of. Yugyeom had always put dancing first, rejecting everyone. “Who? I must protect my baby brother from them!”

Jackson laughed. “Protect him from them? More like the other way around-“ Yugyeom smacked Jackson on the back.

“Hyung!” The fake tension was eased, and Jinyoung grinned at his brother, ready as always to tease.

“So? Who is it? Do I know him?”

“Well-“ Yugyeom started, and Jinyoung’s jaw dropped. “Not yet.”

“What do you mean not yet?” Jinyoung frowns.

“He’s coming to Korea next week to study dance like I am. You’ll meet him then! Ten hyung is a year older, and BamBam knows him.” The Thai friend nodded.

“He’s a year older? Yugyeom, you’re into older men?” Jaebeom gasped in mock shock, and Yugyeom cackled, shoving the older lightly.

“Hyung, what the hell? He’s only a year older, not like Jinyoung and his young barista love.” Eyes turned to Jinyoung, who immediately began to smack Yugyeom.

“Kim Yugyeom-“

“What’s this about your young barista love?” Jackson was immediately interested.

“He’s not- I’m- How do you know he’s young?” Jinyoung stammered out.

Yugyeom cackled. “Choi Youngjae from Ars Coffee Shop? He tutors me in piano. He’s two years younger than you.” Jinyoung’s mouth dropped open.

God, this was mortifying. Jaebeom’s laughter brought him out of his funk, however. The older man (only by six months, Jackson liked to stress) slapped Jinyoung on the back. “Good for you, Nyoung! You’re finally going for your mans!”

Jinyoung choked something akin to ‘God, I hate you all’ and Yugyeom cackled at his older brother’s misery. However, he noticed Jinyoung’s pained look, and Jaebeom’s hand on his brother’s back, and quieted. “Jaebeom hyung,” the youngest called, “can you play Mario Kart with me? Jinyoung hyung sucks, and I beat BamBam. I wanna play you since you’re basically a grandpa.”

Jaebeom fell for the bait, hook line and sinker, glowering and grabbing the remote BamBam handed him. “All right, brat. Let’s go.”

Jinyoung almost heaved a breath of release and moved to the kitchen to get some water. BamBam followed him, and Jackson sat to watch Yugyeom and Jaebeom compete.

“Hyung-“ BamBam hissed, and Jinyoung tried to ignore him. But BamBam was nothing but persistent. “Hyung, why do you do this to yourself? It’s only hurting you, and in the long run, hurting Jaebeom hyung. This can only end up in two ways. Either you draw away from hyung when it gets too much, and both you and Jaebeom hyung get hurt; you both lose a good friend. Or you don’t and Jaebeom hyung finds out on his own. He’s going to feel bad, Jinyoung hyung. Guilty; he’s going to hate himself. You need to stop this.”

“You think I don’t know?” Jinyoung almost yelled but restrained himself. “God, BamBam, I love him, yes, but he’s also my best friend. I don’t want to just tell him, ‘Hey, I have a crush on you, I need you to never talk to me’, that will just make him sad as well. My best bet is to go out with Youngjae and try to forget.”

BamBam frowned. “Hyung, if you don’t then Youngjae-ssi will get hurt too.” Jinyoung sighed, dropping his head onto the counter. “You don’t have to leave him forever.”

“I know. But it’s not something I want to do. Call me jealous-”

“Am I interrupting something?” Jinyoung turned his head to face Jackson, standing in the kitchen doorway awkwardly. BamBam looked at Jinyoung, who shrugged.

“Might as well tell him, Bam,” Jinyoung sighed. “It’s pointless to hide it.”

Jackson was still confused and Jinyoung was still moping, so BamBam took it upon himself to save them from their misery. Or at least, just explain. After doing so, Jackson’s mouth is agape. “Damn, are you living in a k-drama or something? That’s insane, man.”

Jinyoung almost rolled his eyes, but he’s too tired to do so. Instead, he just got up, drank a glass of water, and smiled tightly at Jackson. “Yeah. I think I’ll go to bed early. Eat whatever, or order something. Don’t let Yugyeom cook.”

As he trudged back into his room, Jaebeom, having just been defeated by Yugyeom, glanced up and saw his best friend leave. “Yugyeom, play against Jackson, okay? I need to ask Jinyoung something. Sounds good?” Yugyeom nodded, engrossed in the game, and Jackson came to play for Jaebeom.

“Jinyoungie, I’m coming in, all right?” Jaebeom knocked gently on his best friend’s door, and he can hear a muffled groan. Jaebeom opened the door and saw Jinyoung lying face down in the bed. “Jinyoungie, what’s wrong?”

“Nuthin’,” Jinyoung mumbled, turning his head off the pillow and away from the door.

“That doesn’t look like nothing, Jinyoung.” The older sighed, stepping forward and sitting in Jinyoung’s desk chair. “Is something the matter?”

Jinyoung didn’t respond, and just pulled a blanket over his head and rolled over some more, enough to wrap himself up like a mummy. Jaebeom sighed again, shifting the chair closer until he’s almost right next to the bed. Jinyoung didn’t move, so Jaebeom reached out and smoothed Jinyoung’s hair. “Hyung-”

Jaebeom’s heart leaps into his chest. He had never heard Jinyoung sound so pitiful ever since the younger had broken his knee cap in middle school. “Jinyoung? What’s wrong?”

“Hyung, I think maybe you should leave me alone.”

With those words, Jaebeom’s heart dropped. Never had he thought he would ever hear Jinyoung say that. Through thick and thin, the two had always stuck together. It was just two years ago Jaebeom found Jinyoung crying alone in his closet and seeing Jinyoung like this again made Jaebeom hurt. He ignores Jinyoung, moving to sit on the bed instead, and wraps an arm around Jinyoung. “Nyoung, I won’t make you talk to me, all right? But I don’t want to leave you alone, and I’ll sit and stay in here. I don’t want you to hurt alone.”

He lay beside Jinyoung, enveloping the younger in his arms, blanket burrito and all, and listened to Jinyoung’s breathing heightened…and then fell as the younger fell asleep.

As much as it hurt Jaebeom to see his best friend like this, he didn’t know what he did hurt Jinyoung more.

When Jinyoung woke, he knew Jaebeom was still there, feeling the older’s arms caressing his arms subconsciously. God, why is Jaebeom like this? Nice one minute and then the next running out the door to meet some girls.

He carefully slid out from between Jaebeom’s arms and adjusted the sheets to cover Jaebeom. As he tiptoed out of his room, he came face to face with Yugyeom, wringing his hands. “Gyeom?” he whispered, “What is it?”

“Hyung-“ Yugyeom was obviously distressed. Jinyoung reached up to brush his bangs out of hair. “ hyung, are you mad at me?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad, baby?”

“I’m gay.“ Jinyoung almost laughed, if not for the look on Yugyeom’s face.

“Baby, I’d never be mad. Look at me and my gayness. Why on Earth would I be mad?” Yugyeom shrugged, still obviously worried. “The only thing I’m unhappy about is the fact you didn’t tell me. But not at you, Gyeom-ah. I’m just worried I failed something as your brother.”

Yugyeom shook his head. “No, hyung. Of course not. You’re the best big brother I could wish for.”

Jinyoung laughed. “Maybe you should get upset more often. I could get used to hearing that.” Yugyeom finally smiled, shoving his brother lightly.

“Hyung, don’t be a dumbass. Come on, let’s eat.” Jinyoung’s mouth dropped open in fake annoyance.

“Yah, respect your elders. Brat.” Jinyoung patted his pockets, before realizing he accidentally left his phone inside the room. He almost groaned audibly, before turning around and opening the door as quietly as he could.

However, that was unnecessary as Jaebeom had already woken, and was seated on the bed and rubbing his eyes. “Hey, hyung,” Jinyoung greeted him almost casually but got the words out slightly too fast.

“Jinyoung, you know you can always talk to me, right?” God, Jinyoung did not want to get into this talk.

“Hyung, I know. I just don’t want to talk about it right now,” Jinyoung sighed. “Maybe one of these days I will, but not right now. Have you seen my phone?”

Jaebeom, knowing that the conversation was over, nodded. “Yeah, it’s on the bed. You were sleeping on top of it.” Jaebeom grabbed it, but before handing it to Jinyoung, smirked. “I texted Youngjae for you.”

“You what?” Jinyoung narrowed his eyes. “Hyung, come on. I was going to get to it.” Jaebeom frowned.

“Really? I distinctly remember multiple times you almost failed a class because you “going to get back to your superiors,” Jinyoung.”

“Hyung, seriously. Maybe school was something, but this is my own business. Stop poking your nose into it. I’ll text Youngjae if I want to, and if I forget, I forget.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes, and Jaebeom’s temper flared.

“Yah, respect your elders, Park Jinyoung. I just wanted you to get out and talk to people. All you do is stay in here all day or work.”

“I’ll respect you once you respect my personal affairs, Jaebeom. And are you saying I’m not exciting because I like to stay inside? Jaebeom, come on. Don’t be daft.”

“I’m just saying-” Jaebeom raised his hands in mock surrender “-going out is fun. It’s an experience.”

“Im Jaebeom, just because you sleep around like a whore-“ Jinyoung slapped his mouth closed, eyes widening, and Jaebeom got up. He was mad. “Hyung, I didn’t mean it.” Jaebeom ignored him, brushing past Jinyoung’s shoulder and leaving the room immediately. Jinyoung sank down onto the floor and almost curses.

He lay there for who knows how long, or at least until his stomach growled, and BamBam pokes his head in. “Jinyoung hyung, are you all right? Jaebeom left in a huff thirty minutes ago and Jackson followed him. What happened?”

“I called him a whore, BamBam. I’m so stupid.” Jinyoung whined, slapping himself. “God, I’m such a dumbass.”

BamBam sighed. “Hyung, what did Jaebeom do? You don’t usually get this angry.”

“It wasn’t his fault-“ Jinyoung tried to defend, but BamBam shook his head.

“It was your own fault you said that, but he must have provoked you.” Jinyoung just groaned, patting the space next to him and BamBam joined him as the older man explained.

Sometime in the middle, Yugyeom joined in and Jinyoung had to explain all over again, getting almost choked up. “Hyung, I think you both were in the wrong. Jaebeom should have let you do your own thing. He’s not that much older than you, and even if he was, you’re an adult,” Yugyeom said.

“When did you two get so wise?” Jinyoung laughed wetly.

BamBam cackled, loud and clear as day. “We’re only wise when it comes to someone else’s affairs. Ours? Not so much. You should’ve seen Yugyeom flail in front of Ten hyung.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrow rose sky-high. “That’s right. Yugyeom, what is this…Ten like?”

The tips of Yugyeom’s ears turned red. “Ten hyung? He’s great. He’s loud and friendly. He likes cats, and he doesn’t like fruit.”

“He doesn’t like what now?”

“Fruit. I don’t know why, but it’s cute,” Yugyeom grinned to himself and BamBam gagged, causing the youngest to reach across Jinyoung and smack his best friend. “But enough about Ten hyung, what did Jaebeom hyung say to Youngjae hyung?”

Jinyoung shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t really look.” Yugyeom leaned over and grabbed the phone.

“Well, let’s check.”

Jinyoung grabbed the phone after a moment of hesitation and unlocked it. (The password was Jaebeom’s birthday but no one needs to know that.) The text, glaringly bright, just said a simple ‘Hey, how r u’ and there’s a moment of silence before Yugyeom burst out laughing.

“Jaebeom hyung thinks he’s slick but he’s just as bad at texting as you,” Yugyeom teases.

“Nah, at least Jaebeom hyung uses slang. Jinyoung hyung sounds like he’s texting a business partner.” Jinyoung smacked both of them, eliciting a few more laughs when Yugyeom gasped.

“Hyung, he’s texting you back-” Jinyoung’s head snaps to the phone where lo, and behold, Youngjae had just responded with a ‘hey, im good, how r u?’

At the prodding of the two youngest, Jinyoung replied, and he and Youngjae ended up starting a conversation. Yugyeom and BamBam exchanged looks before quietly leaving Jinyoung with his new beau.

‘What are u up to?’

               ‘Not much, I’m just lying down. How about you?’

‘LOL ur so formal. And you asked that already. But Im doing the same haha’

               ‘Sounds fun. I’m sure we are very exciting.’

‘How’s life?’

               ‘Boring. How’s yours?’

God, Jinyonug could feel the awkwardness oozing from his texts, and he resisted the urge to smack himself. Before he could, his phone rang, Youngjae was calling him. Jinyoung almost dropped the phone, but answered it quickly, pressing the phone to his ear.

“I think it’d be less awkward if we talked on the phone, yeah?” Youngjae’s bright voice sounded, not dulling even through the phone.

“Yeah, that might be best,” Jinyoung laughed. “How was work? It wasn’t too busy, I hope.”

“No, not at all.” A moment of silence when- “Hey, are you busy today?”

Jinyoung’s heart picked up. “No, not at all. Are you?’

“No.”

More silence, when Youngjae burst out laughing, and by default, so did Jinyoung. Who could resist laughing after Youngjae does, after all? “God, we’re embarrassing,” Jinyoung choked out through giggles.

“No, I think it’s all you. You just enable my awkward ability,” Youngjae teased. “But seriously, do you want to hang out today? I’m done tutoring.”

Tutoring reminded Jinyoung. “Yeah, that sounds good! Speaking of tutoring, I’ve heard you tutor my younger brother, Kim Yugyeom?”

“Wait, seriously? Kim Yugyeom is your brother?” Youngjae sounded flabbergasted and Jinyoung laughed once more.

“Yeah. I took our father’s last name and Yugyeom took our mother’s.”

“That’s neat. Yugyeom is such a cute kid, and he learns well.”

“Yeah, but he’s a brat.” The two of them snicker, and Jinyoung can hear Yugyeom sneeze twice.

“But seriously, do you want to meet up?” Jinyoung nodded, but then realised he’s stupid.

“Ah, yeah. Sure! When and where?”

“Does lunch at Ars Coffee work? I have a worker’s discount...and I own the place so the discount is not needed.” Jinyoung snorted.

“Wow, successful and handsome. I sure hit the jackpot. That sounds good.”

“Oh, haha, very funny. I’ll see you at noon.” Youngjae hung up, and Jinyoung stared at his phone for a few minutes, a stupid grin on his face.

God, he’s excited. He’s probably a little too excited. God, he can’t wait to tell Jaebeom. Jinyoung is brought back down from his emotional high as fast as Yugyeom buying an ice choco. Should he text Jaebeom or let the older cool down? Why did he have to run his mouth? Jaebeom was just trying to help and Jinyoung ruined it.

Unfortunately, today is still not a good day to wallow, Jinyoung has to get ready for his date. Date? Is it a date? Dear LORD Jinyoung’s going on a date. Jaebeom be damned (and thanked), he was a bit overeager and ran straight into the doorframe. “Hyung?” Yugyeom poked his head around the hallway corner. “Everything all right?”

Jinyoung beams. “I have a date.” Yugyeom snickers at Jinyoung’s face.

“God, hyung, you look stupid. But congratulations.” Jinyoung suddenly wiped the smile off his face, straightening up and sending the fear of God into Yugyeom’s heart.

“Kim Yugyeom, I may be going on a date with undeniably the cutest man to exist. But I am still your older brother and will not hesitate to kill you.”

Yugyeom cackled and ran into his room with BamBam, locking the door, and Jinyoung rolled his eyes. When his beloved “Ten hyung” comes around, he’ll have to answer to Jinyoung if he ever hurts Yugyeom.

But look at the time; Jinyoung needed to eat and change if he wanted to be at Ars Coffee at noon. Cereal is the fastest option, but BamBam finished the last of that (damn his sweet tooth), so Jinyoung just got a piece of bread and toasted it. He’s excited about his first date, he’s allowed to rush. By the time he had to leave, he had already tried on five different outfits, deciding on a simple black turtleneck and jeans. “I’m heading out, you two. Don’t cause trouble.”

“Get that dick, hyung!” Jinyoung heard Yugyeom and BamBam chorus from in their room, making a mental note to kill them later. But for now, he had a date he needed to go on.

Due to his excitement, he ended up arriving thirty minutes early, and Jinyoung just ordered and waited. Youngjae came barrelling in twenty minutes later, all smiley and Jinyoung could feel his heart melt. “Jinyoung! Hi!” Youngjae slid in across from him. “I heard you arrived really early; the co-owner and my friend told me.”

Jinyoung laughed, trying to cover up his embarrassment. “Damn, if I ever need to commit some shady business, remind me not to do it here. Your co-workers will just snitch on me.” Youngjae guffawed, the sound echoing in the shop.

“Don’t worry, I’ll vouch for you.” Jinyoung laughs as well.

“Thanks, I’m glad I now have a confidant for all my misadventures,” Jinyoung says, poking Youngjae’s arm.

“How many misadventures have you been getting into?” Youngjae raises a brow. “Last time we met, you were three-timing your boyfriends.” Jinyoung snorts.

“Oh, you have no idea. I rob banks and kill my best friends all the time.” Youngjae laughs once more, and Jinyoung could hear it all day, every day.

"You sound like someone my mother would warn me against," Youngjae teases. "I should stay away from you if I want to keep my reputation up."

Jinyoung chuckles. "Well, what's the fun in that?" He leans across the table slightly. "I say damn your reputation, let's go murder someone."

"I don't think that would fly over very well with my friend Mark, but alright. Tomorrow at seven? Who should we start with?"

Jinyoung snorts, all the possibilities going through his head. "Jaebeom," he says without thinking, and almost takes it back. But Youngjae doesn't know the argument; so he'll live with it.

"Who's that?" Youngjae cocks his head and Jinyoung resists the urge to coo.

“He’s my best friend.” Thankfully Jinyoung’s voice didn’t waver. “Everyone has the moment where you want to kill your best friend, surely.”

“No, I am an angel, couldn’t you tell?” Youngjae teased, and Jinyoung refrained from saying ‘yes.’ He liked Youngjae already; they have a lot in common and Jinyoung forgot all about the ordeal with Jaebeom as he spends time with the younger.

However, his glee was soon cut short when he arrived home and he saw Jaebeom’s shoes kicked off to the side. “Yugyeom-ah, is Jaebeom hyung here?” he asked the younger on the couch. Yugyeom looked up, shock registered on his face.

“Hyung, you weren’t supposed to be home ’til later,” Yugyeom stammered, and Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows, a frown tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Kim Yugyeom, what is going on?” Jinyoung dropped his book bag onto the floor. “I don’t like it when you lie to me, you know this-“

“Jinyoung, it’s not Yugyeom’s fault.” Jinyoung’s head whipped around, Jaebeom having spoken from around the corner of the kitchen.

“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Jinyoung left Yugyeom on the couch and entered the kitchen, seeing Jaebeom cooking…something. “Well, never mind that, hyung. I guess since you’re here, I should apologise for earlier this morning. What I said was out of line and-“

Jaebeom waved him off. “No, just forget it, Jinyoung. We were both at fault. Let’s just put it behind us, hm? We can’t not be best friends over such a petty fight, right?”

“Yeah, best friends,” Jinyoung chuckled almost lifelessly. Time to shove yet another problem under the carpet. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“What, can’t I visit my best friend?” After a moment of silence, Jaebeom sighed, giving in. “I need to learn how to cook Italian dishes. I invited this girl over for dinner next week, and I want to impress her.”

“Can’t you order Italian takeout?” Jaebeom snorted.

“Takeout can’t cut it.”

“Have you forgotten the Great Noodle Incident, hyung? I don’t think I want you cooking weird recipes in my kitchen.” Jaebeom looked up from the pot to glare at Jinyoung.

“Wasn’t that your idea, Nyoung?”

“Well, I think it’s time for me to go. I’m a little tired, you know?” Jinyoung tried to make his escape, but Jaebeom is nothing if not petty.

“No, no, Jinyoung, please refresh my memory. How did the Great Noodle Incident start?” Jinyoung opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again, before he was saved by the doorbell.

When he enters the living room to answer it, it appears Yugyeom had already opened the door to whoever it is standing outside. “Youngjae ah? What are you doing here?” Jinyoung blinked once, twice, thrice.

“Ah, you just forgot your phone at Ars.” Youngjae held up the device. “I texted Yugyeom for your address; I didn’t know he lives here too.”

“Oh, thanks.” Jinyoung smiled, walking over and taking his phone. “I appreciate it, Youngjae. Would you like to come in for a little? Jaebeom is here and you could meet him.”

Youngjae steps forward a bit. “I mean, I don’t want to intrude, but I would love to meet our murder victim once.” Jinyougn laughed out loud, covering his mouth again.

“That’s right. He’s in the kitchen, cooking who knows what. Maybe you could help him out; you work in the coffee shop so you’re bound to be a better cook.” Youngjae laughed.

“I only know how to make pastries, really, but I could try. What is he attempting?” Jinyoung shrugged.

“Some weird Italian recipe, and I don’t want the apartment burnt down.” Jinyoung led Youngjae to the kitchen, gesturing towards Jaebeom. “Youngjae, Jaebeom. Jaebeom, Youngjae.”

Jaebeom turned around, beaming and bowing. “It’s nice to meet you, Youngjae. I’m glad Jinyoung finally got out of his shell and met someone. Lord knows how long I’ve been trying to get him to go on a date.”

Yeah, cus I want to date you. “Well, how does it feel to have Jinyoung ssi finally go on a date then?” Youngjae saved Jinyoung from his thoughts, and Jinyoung poked Youngjae in the side for the comment.

Jaebeom snorted, slapping Jinyoung on the back. “God, I’m so relieved. I definitely would have thought this kid would become an old miserly man who yells at kids.”

“You are only seven months older than me, hyung. Don’t call me kid,” Jinyoung snapped playfully.

Jaebeom gasped. “Now, where has this attitude come from? Don’t talk back to your elders…kid.” It’s Jinyoung’s turn to chuckle.

“God, you’re so annoying.” Jinyoung turned to Youngjae. “See why I chose him as my first murder victim?”

“I don’t know…I think I like him,” Youngjae teased, and Jinyoung pouted.

“I’m so hurt. I’ve been betrayed,” he cried out, “Yugyeom, you’re the only one I love.”

“Ew, hyung, go away,” called Yugyeom from the other room, and the apartment was filled with laughter. God, Jinyoung was beyond happy Youngjae and Jaebeom are getting along. The two seemed to enjoy each other’s company, Youngjae coming around the counter to read the recipe Jaebeom had left out.

Jinyoung left the kitchen for a little, coming to sit by Yugyeom, who was watching a drama on his phone. “Yugyeom, why weren’t you going to tell me Jaebeom was here?”

Yugyeom didn’t look up from his drama, answering with a, “I thought he would be gone by the time you came back. I didn’t want you two to argue again. You know, hyung is my friend too, but I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Jinyoung sighs. “I know. I’ll try not to argue with him too much.”

“I’m not talking about that, hyung,” Yugyeom said, finally pausing his drama to look at his older brother, only this time Jinyoung avoided Yugyeom’s eyes. “Hyung, come on.”

“Yugyeom, where’s BamBam?” Jinyoung tried to change the subject, but Yugyeom was having none of that.

“He’s getting picked up from work by Jackson. Don’t dodge the situation.” Jinyoung still avoided Yugyeom’s eyes.

“I know. But we have guests, and I don’t want to deal with this just yet.”

“Deal with what?” Youngjae had just come around the corner, having finished with Jaebeom.

“My friend is coming over next week, and Jinyoung hyung doesn’t want to meet him since he thinks I’m going to elope or something,” Yugyeom lied smoothly. Jinyoung resisted the urge to kick him for that comment in thankfulness.

“Ooh, your boyfriend?” Yugyeom choked at Youngjae’s comment.

“No! Ten hyung is just a friend.”

“For now-” Jinyougn snorted, and Yugyeom whined.

“Hyung, seriously. You’re so annoying.” Jinyoung laughed at that, ruffling the younger’s hair.

“I’m just kidding, Yugyeom,” he laughed, and turned to Youngjae. “Are you leaving already?” Youngjae nodded sheepishly.

“Yeah, I have to get back to Ars; Mark co-owns the place with me and his shift is almost over.” Youngjae paused briefly, eyes flicking down to Jinyoung’s lips. Jinyoung catches the sly movement and smiles.

“Here, I’ll walk you down to your car.” Youngjae agreed readily, and the two exited the apartment to the sound of Yugyeom gagging really loudly. Jinyoung swore he’s going to kill Yugyeom one of these days. But not right now.

Right now, Jinyoung was focusing on how he and Youngjae are alone in the elevator, and how the younger keeps glancing at his lips. “Hyung-” Youngjae started to speak, and Jinyoung snapped his head to look at him. “Er- I like Jaebeom and Yugyeom. They’re very nice.”

Jinyoung beamed. “I’m glad I know them. As much as they annoy me, they are good friends.”

The silence became deafening again, and lasted until Youngjae and Jinyoung were standing in front of the younger’s car. “Hyung, thanks for letting me hang out for a little,” Youngjae said, and before Jinyoung could react, leant forward and pressed a kiss to the older’s lips before getting in his car and waving.

Jinyoung barely had the mind to wave back before Youngjae started the car and left. He remained in his daze all the way back up to his apartment, where Yugyeom finally had the sense to leave Jinyoung alone and let his brother go into his room without a hitch. Jaebeom, however, isn’t as kind, leaving Yugyeom with instructions on when to take whatever food he’s made out of the oven.

“So, Jinyoungie-ya! How did your date go?” Jaebeom rested against the bedroom door frame, grinning wide like the Cheshire Cat. God, Jinyoung would kiss the smirk off Jaebeom’s face if he could. Unfortunately, for one, he’s on his bed and wrapped up in blankets. And second, Jaebeom might punch him.

Jinyoung frowned with no spite. “It was good, hyung. I really like Youngjae. I’m glad I met him.” Jaebeom nodded once, twice.

“That’s…good. I’m glad, Jinyoungie. You deserve someone in your life.” Jaebeom smiled, but Jinyoung can feel something off about it. He pushes the feeling to the side; Jaebeom was probably still a little upset about the argument earlier.

“Hyung, come here,” Jinyougn smiled lightly, lifting up the blankets, and Jaebeom laughed, walking forward and cuddling up with Jinyoung.

“I forgot you’re so clingy sometimes,” Jaebeom teased, and Jinyoung snoted, kicking Jaebeom lightly in the shin.

“Don’t be mean, hyung,” Jinyonug whined and Jaebeom laughed again, wrapping his arm around Jinyoung’s waist. The younger could feel his heartstrings tugging, but he ignored the feeling, as he’s done all those years. “Hyung?”

“Yes, Nyongie?” Jaebeom was sleepy, and Jinyonug couldn’t blame him. He spent all this time cooking, and paired with the argument this morning, Jinyoung could understand why he’s tired.

“I love you,” Jinyoung whispered, and Jaebeom just groaned, pressing his cheek into Jinyoung.

“Love you too, Nyoung,” he mumbled out a reply before cuddling even closer, and Jinyoung almost cried. Thankfully, he didn’t (how embarrassing would that be) and instead fell asleep against his friend for the second time that day.

They’re woken up an hour later by Jackson, who had returned with BamBam and three cartons of ice-cream and the promise of a movie night. Well, Jinyoung wasn’t going to protest, especially since he didn’t have to pay for either dinner or the ice-cream.

Unfortunately, Jackson chose the movie, and as expected, it was an Iron Man movie. Jinyoung doesn’t know which one; he’s given up on paying attention. Instead, he’s crowded in between Jackson and Jaebeom, the former’s hand slightly uncomfortably high up on Jinyoung’s thigh. Jaebeom looked at the hand on Jinyoung’s thigh unhappily, wrapping his arm around Jinyoung again.

God, it was almost domestic, and Jinyoung could feel the warmth of his crush rise again. Why did he do this? He liked Youngjae; why did Jaebeom have to do this to him?

Jinyoung was suffocating, he couldn't handle this contact. He stood up abruptly, Jaebeom looking up with his eyebrows furrowed and Jackson frowning slightly. Yugyeom stayed silent, as did BamBam.

“Jinyoung-ah, are you all right?” Jackson speaks first. Jinyoung looked at him, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I don’t know.”

At that, Yugyeom stood up, guiding him away from the group. “Hyung, go get a glass of water and go lie down in your room, all right?” Jinyoung nodded blankly, leaving, and as Jaebeom made to stand up, Yugyeom stopped him. “Jaebeom hyung, I don’t think you should go with him. Just enjoy the movie with Jackson hyung, all right?”

Jaebeom glared, but Yugyeom stood firm, and Jaebeom didn’t want to go against the wishes of Jinyoung’s younger brother and so he relented.

Yugyeom found Jinyoung in his room, as he was told, sitting against the bed on the floor and clutching the water in both hands. Yugyeom sighed at his brother’s obviously distressed state. “Hyung, drink the water. Holding it isn’t going to help,” he tried to joke, but it fell flat.

Jinyoung lifted the cup to his lips, taking small sips and Yugyeom sat next to him. “Yugyeom, why did this have to happen to me?” Jinyoung asked solemnly, and the brothers sighed in unison.

“Hyung, I think maybe you should take time off from seeing Jaebeom hyung. It’s doing nothing but hurting you.” Jinyoung finished his cup of water, and Yugyeom took it, putting it on the desk.

“Yugyeomie, I can’t.” Jinyoung’s plea almost broke Yugyeom’s heart. “He’s first and foremost my best friend.” Yugyeom tentatively wrapped his arms around Jinyoung, pulling his older brother into a tight hug, and Jinyoung choked out a sob.

“Hyung, I’ll handle it with Jaebeom, all right? I’m sure he just wants you to be happy.” Jinyoung didn’t respond, crying silently into Yugyeom’s chest.

Sooner or later, Jinyougn was too exhausted, and fell asleep in Yugyeom’s arms, the third time today. Yugyeom didn’t move, too worried to wake up the older, and Jaebeom quietly opened the door and poked his head in.

“Is he doing all right?” Jaebeom walked in further, leaning down and brushing a piece of hair out of Jinyoung’s mouth.

Yugyeom sighed, looking up at Jaebeom. “Hyung, I don’t think he can see you and Jackson any more.” Jaebeom’s eyes widened.

“What do you mean?”

“Hyung, it’s not like that,” Yugyeom added hastily. “I just think that he’s been overstressed with work and making sure you and Jackson don’t notice. I’m forcing him to take a few days off. BamBam has to stay since he doesn’t have a place to stay, but I want Jinyoung to indulge in what he wants. Haven’t you noticed he started rejecting you subconsciously?”

Jaebeom’s frown deepened, but he made no comment. Of course he’s noticed the way Jinyoung flinches when Jaebeom initiates physical contact, the way he avoids Jaebeom’s eyes. “I just don’t want Jinyoung by himself.”

“He won’t be alone, hyung. I promise. I’ll keep an eye on him, and so will BamBam.” Yugyeom reassured, and Jaebeom backed off. Yugyeom knows what he’s doing, Jaebeom reminds himself.

“All right. Jackson and I will be going then. Make sure Jinyoung feels better soon, all right? Can’t have my best friend die on me.” Yugyeom nodded and Jaebeom finally left.

Yugyeom stayed in Jinyoung’s room for the rest of the night, lifting Jinyoung into his bed and curling up next to him. At some point, BamBam had joined the cuddle party, and when Jinyoung awakened, he didn’t want to leave. He didn’t for a long while, but the cuddle party overheated him, so he wriggled his way out of Yugyeom’s arms carefully.

As he made his way into the kitchen, his phone buzzed, and looking at it, Jinyoung noticed Youngjae had texted him, asking him if he wanted to come over today. ‘Mark is at a friend’s for the whole day so we could hang out and watch movies or something’ the text read, and Jinyoung’s heart leapt into his throat.

He responded quickly, agreeing readily, and asked for a time. Youngjae responded just as fast, offering five in the evening, and Jinyoung accepted. He poked his head into his room to see Yugyeom and BamBam still asleep, curled around each other.

He didn’t want to wake them up; it must have been the jet lag getting to them, so Jinyoung let them sleep in. They looked so peaceful anyway; Jinyoung would’ve felt bad if he woke them. But when he tried to exit the room, the buzz of his phone alerting him to a new text alerted BamBam as well. “Hyung?” the Thai man groggily opened his eyes. “Good morning.”

Jinyoung threw him a smile. “Morning, Bam,” he responded, keeping his voice low. “Did you have a good night?”

BamBam sat up, Yugyeom’s head on his chest falling to his lap. “Yeah. Hyung, are you doing all right?” Jinyoung shrugged.

“As good as I can do now. Don’t wake up Yugyeom, all right?” BamBam nodded, looking down at the youngest in his lap. “I’ll be going out later on this evening to see Youngjae.”

BamBam wriggled his eyebrows, and Jinyoung restrained himself from hitting his brother’s friend. “Get that ass, Jinyoung.”

“If anything, Youngjae will get this ass,” Jinyoung stated smoothly, and before BamBam could recover from his shock, exited the room smoothly.

As he glanced down at his phone, three missed calls from an unknown number were there, and Jinyougn frowned, swiping the notifications away. It was probably a telemarketer; Jinyoung had been getting a lot of those calls recently. No big deal, Jinyoung just blocked the number without a hitch.

Breakfast is more important than weird phone calls, anyway. He can’t cook to save his life, but Jinyoung does know Jaebeom kept leftovers from yesterday in the fridge. He’s still unsure whether he likes the ziti, or whatever Jaebeom made, but it’s food.

He popped a plate of ziti into the microwave, keeping an eye on the timer to stop it before it beeped and woke up Yugyeom. But he didn’t need to; Yugyeom had awoken and was coming around the corner. “Hyung, why didn’t you wake me up?”

Jinyoung shrugged. “You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you up.” This was apparently the wrong thing to say, Yugyeom smirked.

“Aw, is my big bro being soft for his favorite brother?” Jinyoung swiped at Yugyeom, who dodged easily.

“Brat.”

Yugyeom cackled at his older brother’s misery, a regular occurence in this household. Jinyoung did his best to ignore him, instead sending a few cat pictures to Jaebeom. Surprisingly, the older didn’t respond right away, but Jinyoung shrugged it off, pinning it down to Jaebeom probably forgetting to charge his phone again.

BamBam needed yet another ride to work, so Jinyoung offered to take him to get his mind off the upcoming date. Yugyeom wanted to tag along, and Jinyoung knew if that happened, they’d be making two different stops to get food. But Yugyeom shot him with the puppy eyes, and Jinyoung could feel himself give in. Damn him and his soft heart. Thank god Jackson would pick them up instead of him.

And, as expected, Jinyoung waited outside a convenience store as Yugyeom and BamBam bought ramen. As he waited, someone came up to him. The man looked vaguely attractive; his features fit each other perfectly and gave him a gorgeous aura. “Excuse me?” Jinyoung pinched himself discreetly to get him out of his funk.

“How may I help you?” The stranger offered a slight smile, and Jinyoung had to focus really hard on his eyes instead of his lips.

“I’m a little lost; I just arrived and I was wondering if you knew where Seoul National University is.” Jinyoung ‘ah’ed in understanding.

“Yeah, it’s a little far from here. Which airport did you come from?” The person ran a hand through his hair sheepishly.

“Gimpo Airport.”

Jinyoung snorted. “Apologies,” he said quickly, covering his mouth with his hand, “you went in the opposite direction.”

The stranger’s mouth opened, but he had nothing to say except a crass phrase, and Jinyoung snorted again. “Sorry- God, I’m an idiot.”

“No, it’s not a big deal. You can take the bus to University; there’s a bus that stops a few miles away. Or, you could take a taxi.” Jinyoung offered, and the man nodded.

“Yeah, thank you. Where’s the bus stop?” Jinyoung pointed out the way and the bus he had to take. “Thank you again, I appreciate it.” The man flashed a smile and Jinyoung could feel his knees shaking, but stood firm.

“No problem. Good luck.” As soon as the man turned the corner, Yugyeom ran up with the instant noodles in his hands.

“Hyung! We got the noodles.”

“Yah, what took you so long, brat?” Jinyoung pinched Yugyeom’s ear. “It’s cold.”

Yugyeom whined, and BamBam laughed at his friend’s misfortune before Jinyoung grabbed his ear too. “Hyung-“ the two youngest groaned, and Jinyoung huffed.

“Eat your noodles, or else you’ll be late, BamBam.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes, and BamBam cackled.

Yugyeom had kindly gotten him a packet of juice from the store, and as BamBam and Yugyeom made fun of each other, Jinyoung sipped on the juice like a mom watching their kids play in the pool. They arrived at BamBam’s work, a dance studio, and as BamBam stepped out, so did Yugyeom. Jinyoung threw him a questioning look, and Yugyeom smiled.

“I’m going to apply to work here,” Yugyeom explained, and Jinyoung nodded in understanding. “Don’t be too loud, Hyung. Youngjae’s neighbors might call the police.”

Jinyoung’s face hardened, and Yugyeom and BamBam ran into the building cackling like the little devils they are. “Yah, Kim Yugyeom,” he muttered under his breath, well aware the taller man couldn't hear him.

But now was not the time to sulk around at his younger brother’s (loving) disrespect, he needed to get home and change for his date. On the way home, he passed by the bus stop he directed the stranger from earlier to, and saw the man sitting on the bench. Jinyoung laughed quietly, the situation was kind of funny once you thought about it.

Jinyoung remembered when he and Yugyeom had first moved to Seoul from Jinhae-gu. The younger had gotten lost so many times, and Jinyoung had gotten lost even more times trying to find Yugyeom. He hoped the stranger would be able to find his way around. Though, with that pretty face, Jinyoung didn’t think he would have any trouble getting help.

The stranger reminded Jinyoung a little of Jaebeom. When the older had first gone to Jinhae-gu to meet Jinyoung’s family, Jaebeom was lost at almost all times of the day. It was adorable, and honestly, Jinyonug felt a sense of satisfaction from feeling helpful to Jaebeom. Hopefully, I can be the same for Youngjae, Jinyoung thought as he pulled into the parking area of his apartment building.

He had about ten minutes to change before he had to leave again, and Jinyoung was too lazy to dress a little nicer, so he just threw on some jeans and an orange sweater that BamBam had tried (keyword: tried) to convince Jinyoug to get rid of. It was a comfy sweater, though, and Jinyoung liked it. Fuck BamBam.

Jinyoung remained proud of his sweater all the way up to when he texted Youngjae, letting him know he’s there. But as soon as Youngjae opened the door and looked at his shirt, Jinyoung could feel his ears turn red. “Hey,” Youngjae laughed. “I like your sweater.”

Jinyoung scrunched his nose, ears turning slightly red. “Thanks. I like it too.”

“No, seriously,” Youngjae patted Jinyoung on the back. “It’s not something that would look good on anyone, but you pull it off.”

“The more you talk about it the more self-conscious I get, you know?” Youngjae didn't respond, just laughed, and led Jinyoung up three flights of stairs. Youngjae’s apartment was comfortable, small enough for two people, with a lot of plants everywhere. The couch was a beige, matching the white rug, which Jinyoung wondered how it was so clean.

If he had a rug like that, Yugyeom would have spilt chocolate on it six times, BamBam would have dropped lipstick just as much, and Jaebeom’s cats would have ripped it to shreds whenever the older brought them over. “Do you like it?” Jinyoung looked up at Youngjae, and nodded.

“It’s very neat. Where did you get your barstools?” Youngjae snorted.

“Yardsale. Mark just repainted them.” Jinyoung chuckled, but Youngjae motioned him toward the couch and made him sit down. “Let me get some water and then we can look for something to watch, sound good?”

Jinyoung nodded again, it seemed like the only thing he could do right now. Youngjae walked behind the counter, and Jinyoung dug his feet into the rug, appreciating the softness of it. “How is this rug so clean?” he wondered aloud, and Youngjae sighed.

“It wasn’t. But I banned Mark from being on the rug with snacks after I got it professionally cleaned.” Jinyoung laughed.

“Is he that messy?”

“Not on purpose, no, but he likes to eat chips a lot, and the crumbs get all over the rug. I wouldn’t have minded if he ate gummies,” Youngjae gripes, returning with two glasses of water. “I brought you a glass too just in case.”

Jinyoung thanked Youngjae, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a sip, not noticing how Youngjae’s eyes moved to his eyes. “What movie do you want to watch?” Jinyoung asked, and Youngjae smirked, eyes moving back up to Jinyoung’s eyes.

“Aren’t I supposed to ask that?” Jinyoung hummed.

“Well, I like most movies. Romance, comedy, and horror are some of my favorite genres. Do with that as you will.” Jinyoung winked at Youngjae, and Youngjae laughed breathily.

“I like romance and comedy as well, but I don't sit well with horror.” Youngjae turned on the TV, scrolling through Netflix’s menus, before the two of them finally settled on some obscure comedy neither had ever heard of.

To be frank, Jinyoung was the only one paying attention to the movie. Youngjae couldn’t keep his eyes off Jinyoung’s profile, especially when the older one laughed loudly. Sooner or later, Youngjae found himself leaning in and Jinyoung turned his head and smiled flusteredly. “Hyung,” Youngjae starts breathily, “may I kiss you?”

Jinyoung whined out a yes, and Youngjae pressed his lips against Jinyoung’s tentatively, both men closing their eyes. Youngjae’s lips were chapped while Jinyoung’s were soft, and the difference was felt almost immediately. Youngjae attempted to lick his lips while still kissing Jinyoung, and as expected, Jinyoung parted his lips slightly. Youngjae jolted slightly, surprised, but got back into the groove of things.

He pressed further, Jinyoung’s back pushed into the arm of the couch. It wasn’t quite that comfortable, but Jinyoung ignored the feeling, instead opening his mouth a little wider. Youngjae took this opportunity and ran his tongue along the seam of Jinyoung’s teeth.

The whimper that came out of Jinyoung’s mouth surprised both of them, and Jinyoung quickly tried to explain himself. He started with a, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”, but was quickly cut off by Youngjae leaning forward and kissing him again.

The two kissed for what seemed like hours, but it was only about five minutes before Jinyoung broke away and whined out, “Can I suck you off, please?” The plea goes straight to Youngjae’s dick who nodded quickly and shifted backwards on his butt to let Jinyoung lean forward.

Jinyoung reached for Youngjae’s sweatpants, pulling it down as quickly as he could. However, before he removed Youngjae’s boxers, Jinyoung slid off the couch onto his knees and adjusted Youngjae to sit with his legs on either side of Jinyoung’s body. He then leans in.

“Fuck.” The obscenity spouted out of Youngjae’s mouth as soon as Jinyoung pressed his lips against Youngjae’s covered crotch. “Fuck, hyung.”

Jinyoung laughed breathily, the feeling making Youngjae moan, and Jinyoung pulled down his boxers at last, freeing Youngjae’s cock. “Youngjae-yah,” is all Jinyoung whined before leaning forward and licking a stripe up the younger one’s cock.

Before Youngjae could react, Jinyoung sucked the dick into his mouth and dipped his tongue into the slit. “Hyung-” Jinyoung looked up through his eyelashes at Youngjae and Youngjae almost creamed his pants. “Hyung, if you keep going I might cum right now,” Youngjae breathed.

Jinyoung popped off Youngjae’s cock with an obscene sound, and smirked, his full lips bitten to shame. “Good.” Youngjae swore he saw heaven and hell at the same time when Jinyoung sucks his cock down until his lips wrap around the base.

Youngjae’s hips twitched, and Jinyoung moaned, moaned, and swallowed around Youngjae’s dick. “Fuck, Jae-yah. Fuck my mouth,” Jinyoung rasped, popping off Youngjae’s cock and licking up the beading pre-cum. As soon as Jinyoung slid Youngjae’s cock back into his mouth, Youngjae gave him a questioning look, and Jinyoung nodded to reassure the younger.

Youngjae gave a few testing thrusts, and when all Jinyoung did was relax and open his jaw even wider, his thrusts built up until Jinyoung was drooling all down his chin and crying. It was when Jinyoung brushed his tongue alongside the bottom of Youngjae’s cock when the imaginary band around Youngjae’s cock snapped.

Youngjae cummed. His ears burned; he hadn’t meant to cum like a teenage boy watching porn for the first time, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

“God, Jinyoung,” Youngjae wheezed. “How on Earth are you so good at this?” Jinyoung chuckles, the sound throaty and rough.

“Practice from college...and my three girlfriends,” he joked as an afterthought.

“Do you need any help?” Youngjae offered, but Jinyoung glanced at the TV and then the clock. The movie was over, and Jinyoung would have to pick something up for dinner.

“No, maybe next time,” Jinyoug sighed, throwing Youngjae a wink and a smile. “I have to feed the kiddos.”

Youngjae laughed, bright and loud as always. “Can’t let them starve. Drive safe back.” He leaned forward, planting a much more sweet and much less sensual kiss on Jinyoung’s lips. Something that Jaebeom would do. Jinyoung’s ears burned; he just sucked off Youngjae, why is he thinking about Jaebeom. “Jinyoung?”

Youngjae’s voice brought Jinyoung back to his senses, and he smiled.

“Will do.”

On the way home, Jinyoung couldn’t stop thinking about why Jaebeom suddenly popped into his head. Fuck it.

Jinyoung steered to the side of the road, parking in front of a convenience store, and called Youngjae. “Jinyoung?”

“Hey, Youngjae,” Jinyoung said, voice thick. “Um, I don’t think this will work out. I’m really sorry, I did like you in that way. But I also have feelings for someone else and I don’t want to lead you on. It’s nothing against you, I just-”

Youngjae cut him off. “No, it’s okay, Jinyoung. It’s Jaebeom, isn’t it?” Jinyoung paused.

“How’d you know?”

“I saw how you looked at him, and how he looked at you.” Jinyoung snorted.

“Oh, he’s not gay. But I just don’t think I could date you if I had major feelings for him as well,” Jinyoung laughed shortly.

He could hear Youngjae sigh in the background. “Well, whatever you say. But hey, if you ever want to, my door is open. After all, I am a lonely old man,” Youngjae ended with a joke, and Jinyoung scoffed.

“If you’re old, what am I?”

“An ancient and wise sage. Bye, hyung,” Youngjae snarked before hanging up, and Jinyoung stuck his middle finger up at the phone screen even though he knew it would do nothing. Glancing to the side, Jinyoung decided to pop into the store before heading to Jaebeom’s apartment.

He picked up a few bottles of soju and some packets of snacks before paying and leaving. Before he started driving, though, he texted Yugyeom to let him know he would be late in getting home. For some reason, Jinyoung didn’t tell the younger he was going to Jaebeom’s place, chalking it up to the fact Yugyeom would probably berate him.

He arrived at Jaebeom’s floor, letting himself in with the key given to him when the apartment was leased, and saw something he hadn’t meant to.

Jinyoung was going to confess.

Really.

He was.

But Jaebeom was shirtless, and there was a naked man. Yes, man. Standing next to him. And when Jinyoung says naked, he means naked. The man had nothing but a pair of lace underwear on, and one of Jaebeom’s tank tops. Something he did not want to see. And definitely not next to Jaebeom.

Jinyoung dropped the bag of food and just as Jaebeom opened his mouth in disbelief, booked it out of the apartment. Jinyoung forwent the elevator, just thundering down the stairs and into his car before driving just past the speed limit to reach his home.

When he burst into his door, Yugyeom looked up, shocked at his brother’s face. Before Yugyeom could even say anything, Jinyoung choked out a, “Don’t,” before practically running into his room and slamming the door.

A reasonable reaction.

What wasn’t a reasonable reaction, however, was the fact that Jinyoung stayed holed up in his room for a week. Yugyeom tried picking the lock, but Jinyoung had moved his desk in front of the door. He only took the food left in front of the door once it was cold, and answered no calls.

Worried was an understatement when it came to how his friends and family were feeling. His mother called multiple times at the prodding of Yugyeom, and hell, even Youngjae came over to try to coax him out of his room.

Jinyoung wouldn’t budge, however. He refused to even open the door. It just hurt. Jinyoung didn’t know the exact reason.

Was it the fact Jaebeom never told him he was gay? Jinyoung knew it could have been a one time thing or the older had just found out, but it still hurt. Maybe it was because Jinyoung had finally picked up the courage to tell Jaebeom how he felt, but then...that situation happened.

Jinyoung doesn’t even want to think about it, but he couldn’t. He tried opening his laptop to work, but his mind inevitably wandered to Jaebeom and the stranger’s look of surprise. He tried reading his English dictionary, but he saw the notes Jaebeom doodles in them in secondary school, and his heart wrenched.

He knew he was wallowing, he knew it was insanely and exceedingly unhealthy. But staying in his room and crying just seemed so much safer than going out into the world.

But Yugyeom was not having any of that. He was not ready to watch his older brother decay, and so, forced the door open and pushed the desk forward just enough to get through and into Jinyoung’s room, closing and locking the door behind him.

“Hyung, talk to me,” Yugyeom pleaded when he sat on the bed next to Jinyoung’s bundled up body.

Hearing his baby brother on the verge of tears and begging, Jinyoung finally released the dam, head buried in the younger one’s lap. He sobbed for hours, Yugyeom just petting his hair. He didn’t know how long he cried, but he did know at some point, he had fallen back asleep. Crying takes a lot of energy, you know.

When he wakes up, Yugyeom is still there, still holding him. “Hyung, do you want to talk about it,” Yugyeom tried to coax Jinyoung to speak, and Jinyoung sighed. He really couldn’t wallow all week about this; this was just sad.

Jinyoung swallowed once, twice, then started to explain. The entire time, Yugyeom kept a neutral face, but Jinyoung could see the pity in his eyes. “So...in conclusion, I’m an idiot,” Jinyoung laughed, voice rasped and tired.

Yugyeom clucked his tongue, sighing. “No, hyung, you’re not. You were just shocked and hurt. We can’t help how we feel.” Jinyoung shrugged.

“I know, Gyeom-ah. I just don’t want it to hurt that much.” Yugyeom nodded and Jinyoung returned his head to his younger brother’s lap.

“Hyung, I’m going to take you out.” Jinyoung’s eyes snapped to Yugyeom’s face, and Yugyeom blanched. “Not like that, dumbass! I’ll take you around town tomorrow; we’ll just forget the past few days, all right? Ten hyung will be in the dance studio as well, and you can meet him.”

Jinyoung just grunted, worn out, and Yugyeom petted him back to sleep, slipping out of the room and into the kitchen where Jaebeom was waiting worriedly. “Is he doing all right?” was the first question out of Jaebeom’s mouth, and Yugyeom shrugged.

“He’s as good as he’ll be, hyung. He’s unhappy, maybe disappointed, but I don’t know when he will be out of his funk,” Yugyeom explained. “I’m taking him to meet Ten hyung tomorrow, hopefully that can get his mind off the fact you never told him you were bi. He must have felt so hurt seeing you.” Yugyeom wisely left out the part where Jinyoung also had a crush on him.

From the tone of his voice, Jaebeom could tell Yugyeom was mad at him. “Look, I didn’t...I didn’t think it was important.” Jaebeom wrung his hands. “Not that I didn’t want to tell him. I just-”

“Don’t give me excuses,” Yugyeom snapped. “You hurt my brother. Unintentional, or not, you withheld it for your own personal reasons. I can’t stay angry for long, but I advise you to get out of the apartment for now.” Jaebeom took a step back, pausing, but left soon after.

Yugyeom slumped over the counter, tired out. He hadn’t meant to snap at Jaebeom; who was he to be angry about Jaebeom hiding when he had done the same thing to Jinyoung? Well, the difference was that Jinyoung hyung doesn’t have a crush on me, he thought.

He really hoped meeting Ten hyung would bring Jinyoung out of his slump, but he doubts that it would happen. But maybe, just for a short while, it would distract Jinyoung.

So, when Yugyeom drove Jinyoung to the studio and Ten hyung was waiting outside, he really didn’t expect Jinyoung to laugh and say, “Oh, the lost guy! I didn’t know you were Yugyeomie’s ‘Ten hyung.’”

“Hyung, you know him?” Jinyoung nodded.

“Yeah, when I was driving BamBam to work, he asked me for directions.” Yugyeom’s mouth dropped open.

“No way,” he laughed. “Hyung, you literally know everyone.” Jinyoung snorted, pulling Yugyeom’s ear, and the three of them headed into the dance studio.

“Ten hyung, did you know Jinyoungie used to be a dancer as well?” Yugyeom began to say, and Jinyoung groaned, attempting to swat at Yugyeom.

“Kim Yugyeom, I swear-” Yugyeom dodged him, cackling. Ten watched, amused.

“Well. I’m sure you will be able to keep up with me and Yugyeom, then?” Jinyoung shook his head.

“Oh, no no, I’m not going to dance.” Yugyeom smirked, and Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “Seriously. You can’t make me.”

Jinyoung flopped on the ground, sweaty and tired. “Love you too, hyung,” Yugyeom teased, poking Jinyoung’s sweaty forehead. Jinyoung grabbed the younger’s hand, pulling him down to wrestle, and Ten laughed.

“Okay, you two kids, no more fooling around,” Ten jokingly reprimanded. “Jinyoung-ssi; I didn’t expect you to catch up to me and Yugyeom this easily.”

Jinyoung snorted, flicking his hair out of his face. “I’m not that old, you know. I’m only, what, two years older than you? It’s only been three years since I graduated, too.”

Ten’s head cocked. “Really? I didn’t know that. Somehow I thought you would be older.” His lips pulled into a sweet smile, and Jinyoung could see Yugyeom mirror the smile. He laughed internally at his brother’s obvious crush. It was wholesome, cute, and not like his own trash bin of a love life. He winced at the memory of Jaebeom’s face when he caught him at his apartment yesterday, and the motion didn’t go unnoticed by Yugyeom.

“Hyung, do you wanna get us something to eat? I want to ask Ten hyung something.” Jinyong nodded quickly, eager to get his thoughts out of the dumpster.

“Yeah, I’ll just pop over to the convenience store a block down, do you guys want anything specific?”

After Ten and Yuyeom threw their dozens of orders at him and Jinyoung forced them to write it down, he slipped out the door and studio, walking down the road in the brisk and cool weather. Unfortunately, Jinyoung had forgotten his jacket. The sun was out, though, so Jinyoung wasn’t too unhappy. It was just a quick walk and the store would probably be warmer than outside.

Inside the store, Jinyoung was in the middle of a purchase, when he heard his name being called. “Jinyoung-ssi!” Ten was waving to him from outside the store. Jinyoung finished up his purchase, taking the plastic bag and meeting Ten outside as the two of them began the way back.

“Hey, Ten. What’s up?”

“I wanted to return your jacket; it’s a bit windy.” A pause, and then Ten opened his mouth, “Jinyoung-ssi, does Yugyeom have a crush on me?”

Jinyoung choked on the juice pack he had opened on the walk. “You should ask him that yourself, Ten-ah.”

Ten ignored him, going on with his thoughts. “I like him, but not in that way. And I don’t want to let him down; he’s a good friend.”

Jinyoung sighed. “Ten, seriously. You need to ask Yugyeom yourself, and tell him yourself. He’s a good kid, and sensible. He won’t take it to heart.”

“I suppose so.” They’re quiet until they reach the building, where Yugyeom was waiting in the lobby.

“We’re not supposed to eat in the dance room, so we gotta eat here, hyungs,” Yugyeom said, taking the bag from Jinyoung and rifling through it for his tteokbokki chips. “Ah, hyung, you forgot my sweet potato snacks.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “Yugyeom, you consume an unholy amount of those at the apartment, you can deal with me forgetting them this time.” At Ten’s look, he added, “I’m running to the bathroom. Don’t touch my snacks.”

While in the bathroom, Jinyoung debated listening in the hallway to hear what Ten and Yugyeom had to say, but he decided against it. Yugyeom was old enough to make decisions himself.

As he waited for a reasonable amount of time for Ten and Yugyeom to stop talking, his phone binged with a text from the unknown number from earlier. The text read, ‘This is Mark, Youngjae’s roommate,’ and Jinyoung paused.

He took a screenshot, sending it to Youngjae, but the younger didn’t respond. He’s probably busy at Ars. As he slipped his phone back into his pocket, he stepped into the hallway where Ten was waiting. “Hey, Jinyoung-ssi. So. Would you like good news or bad news first?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Ten smiled awkwardly, “Yugyeom felt like he needed space to get over me, so he went home. The good news is he still wants to be friends as well. The bad news is that I take the bus and can’t give you a ride home.”

Jinyoung sighed, running a hand through his hair. Of course Yugyeom would do that. “It’s fine, I’ll just call a friend to take me home,” he bit out, not quite angry but not exactly happy either.

He called Jackson almost immediately. “Hey, Park Gae, what’s up?”

“Jackson, I need a ride home. Yugyeom left me at the dance studio.” Jinyoung ripped his phone away from his ear. Jackson had yelled into the phone with excitement.

“Dance? I didn’t know you danced, Jinyoungie-ah! I wanna see you sometime!”

“Yeah, no,” Jinyoung said almost immediately, “but I do need a ride home.”

Jackson laughed. “About that...sorry, no can do. I’m out of town for the weekend. I know you’re not on speaking terms with Jaebeom, but you could try to ask him. I don’t know what’s going on with you two. But I’m sure he’ll be fine with driving you.”

“...Yeah.” Jackson hung up, unaware of Jinyoung’s hesitation. Looks like he’s out of the option. Jinyoung rang up Youngjae next, but he didn’t answer again. Looks like Jinyoung needed to take the bus. As he pocketed his phone, that unknown number from earlier claiming they were Mark called, and Jinyoung, at his wit’s end, answered.

“Is this Park Jinyoung?” The voice on the other end was deep, especially through the phone, and Jinyoung felt like if he wasn’t so obsessed with Jaebeom, he might fall in love with this voice as well.

“Yes, why?” The voice laughed.

“I’m Youngjae’s roommate. Youngjae, say hi to your ex.” Jinyoung choked, and he could hear Youngjae in the background.

“Why are you calling Jinyoung? How’d you get his number?” Jinyoung couldn’t not laugh at the confusion laced in Youngjae’s voice.

“Anyways,” Mark, Jinyoung presumed, continued on, “I texted you because I have something I need to clear up with you. Can we meet up?”

Jinyoung frowned. “What do you need to clear up? I’ve never met you in my life.”

“You’ve met me once. At Jaebeom’s apartment.” Jinyoung’s heart raced.

“I’m not sure I would want to meet up with you, then. For one, you slept with my best friend when I didn’t even know my best friend liked men,” Jinyoung took a deep breath.  “And for two, I saw your dick hanging out some lacy underwear. I don’t think I could look at you straight in the eye after that.”

Mark laughed loudly, and if he strained his ears, Jinyoung could hear Youngjae in the back laughing just as loudly. “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that. That...was not what was supposed to happen. Look, man, I promise I’m not evil. Ars is closed today; I’ll even bring Youngjae along. Is that fine with you?”

Jinyoung sighed. “Sure. I guess so. You’re going to have to pick me up though, Yugyeom left me at Easy Dance Studio.” Mark snorted.

“Is this your super secret plan to use me as a chauffeur?” Jinyoung finally laughed at that, agreeing between breaths. “I knew it. We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

They were five minutes late, but Jinyoung didn’t think about it. He was too busy trying to avoid Mark’s eyes as he slid into the backseat and fiddled with his fingers. “Hey, Jinyoung,” Youngjae leaned around the passenger seat, offering Jinyoung a soft smile. “How was your week?”

“Shitty-” Jinyoung said without thinking, and both Mark and Youngjae laughed.

“Sounds like it,” Mark said, and paused for a split second before words came tumbling out of his mouth. To be honest, half of it was in English and Jinyonug only understood the words ‘sorry,’ and ‘Jaebeom,’ and ‘never.’

“Hold up, Mark-ssi. Can you speak in Korean?” Jinyoung asked, furrowing his brows, and Mark laughed, albeit a bit more strained.

“Yeah. Sorry. I wasn’t sleeping with Jaebeom. That’s the first thing I should start out with. I had sex with Jackson, and I wasn’t aware Jackson had a roommate. But when I woke up, Jackson had left for out of town, which was kind of dumb. Who leaves a stranger in their apartment?”

Youngjae prodded Mark. “Hyung. Off topic.”

“Sorry, sorry. But Jaebeom was there, and he had lent me a tank top, though none of his pants stayed up. Apparently Jackson had thought Jaebeom would get rid of me if I tried anything. That was when you walked in. And you entered. Though correctly, you had assumed Jaebeom was not straight and hadn’t told you. But we never fucked.”

Jinyoung sat in the backseat in complete silence for the rest of the ride, and both Mark and Youngjae felt they shouldn’t say any more. But when they reached his apartment, before leaving, Jinyoung spoke. “Thank you for telling me, Mark. I’ll have to talk to Jaebeom soon. But I appreciate it, and if I could ever get the image of your penis out of my head, I’d love to be your friend.”

Mark chuckled. “That sounds great. Please do not think about my penis, even if I know it’s great.” Youngjae choked, slapping Mark on the back.

“Hyung! Don’t praise your dick in front of me and Jinyoungie hyung.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes and smiled, getting out of the car and waving at the two friends as they drove off. Once they were out of sight, he stood in front of his apartment building for a few minutes before heading up.

Yugyeom was out, having left a note dictating he was hanging out with BamBam, so Jinyoung took this opportunity to text Jaebeom and asked him to come over. Jaebeom had replied almost instantaneously with confirmation, and Jinyoung waited in anticipation.

Jaebeom didn’t live too far, so he only had to wait fifteen minutes, though they felt like hours. The sound of the door unlocking caused Jinyoung to whip his head toward the kitchen entrance, locking eyes with Jaebeom as he rounded the corner.

“Hi.” Jinyoung broke the ice first, and Jaebeom immediately added a hyung to the end of that, as per habit, before he started crying. “Oh, hyung.” Jinyoung immediately came around the island, wrapping an arm around Jaebeom.

The two stayed like that in silence save the refrigerator humming. When Jaebeom finally got all his tears out, he whispered out an, “I’m so sorry,” and Jinyoung’s heart broke once again.

“Hyung, don’t be sorry.” Jaebeom shook his head, and Jinyoung quieted.

“No, Nyoungie, let me finish.” Jaebeom took a few deep breaths. “I’m sorry I never told you I was bisexual. It sounds stupid of me, but I was scared how you would react. I know you are for the LGBT+ community, but when I found out I was, I didn’t know. And then I just kept it a secret for so long; I never felt like it would ever be the right time to tell you. I’m sorry I hurt you and lied to you.”

Jinyoung laughed through his own tears. “Hyung, I haven’t been completely honest with you either.” Jaebeom quieted, and Jinyoung took the opportunity. His heart hurt from pounding so hard against his ribcage, but it was now or never. “I’ve been in love with you for years, since before college.”

Jaebeom says nothing for a minute, and Jinyoung can feel his heart drop. When Jaebeom shifted, Jinyoung kept his eyes trained forward until he felt Jaebeom’s breath on his jawline. The younger turned; confused, when Jaebeom leaned forward, pressing his lips against Jinyoung’s.

“Jaebeom hyung?” When their lips part, Jinyoung asks the only question on his mind.

“We’re both idiots, huh?” Jaebeom snorted, and even with the tears running down his face and the wet noise, Jinyoung had never seen someone more beautiful. “I love you too.”

Jinyoung’s mouth dropped open, and Jaebeom laughed again. “Hyung, please don’t joke around like that,” Jinyoung pleaded, but Jaebeom shook his head.

“No, Jinyoungie. I promise. I’m not. I know it may not have seemed that way, but I promise I do. I do. I love you.” Jinyoung cried again.

He’s never cried so much over the span of ten days, much less a year. But somehow, this seemed worth it.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[seijorhi]

asks :)

once again, i’m terrible at answering things :)

First off, your newest Kuroo story WRECKED ME. OMMMMMG LIKE IT'S SOOO FUCKING GOOD. You are one of the most incredible writers ever, like professional style writing. These should be books and you should get paid for it, honestly. Your skill is totally unmatched, my friend. I just adore everything you write. I had two questions thou about the story, just because I am totally obsessed by it- so has Kuroo been obsessed with her since he saw her, I'm like curious how his obsession started 

like is it because she's young and he's interested? Cuz I totally got the vibes at the party that he was showing her off like she was his girlfriend and he seems like he has been wanting her for awhile. I was just curious about how it started cuz god I'm a simp for yandere kuroo- boss man Kuroo would make me weakkkkk. My second question is so is he like obsessively in love with her or is it like just a this hot piece of ass is mine to fuck kinda thing? Like does he want a relationship?

anyways, I love you and I love your writing. Everything you write is legit perfection! Thank you for all your beautiful stories you share with us! - Kai

first of all, whomst gave you the right to be so damn sweet???!?! dsgsjkl thank you, bby!

so, like with all my fics i kind of have a ‘read into it how you want’ thing going for it. whether or not kuroo actually has ‘romantic’ (i use that word loosely) feelings for the reader or whether he just enjoys fucking her because he’s in a position of power and she’s easily manipulated is left a little up to your interpretation and how you’d prefer to imagine it. however, having said that there are little hints throughout the fic that imply that there’s a little more depth to kuroo’s feelings. you’re not wrong with the whole ‘showing her off’ vibe at the party, and there’s mentions of confessions that kuroo gives while he’s fucking the reader - also the title of the fic, invidia, means envy in latin. so take that how you will 🤷‍♀️

and as far as how it all began, i like to think that it was kind of a slow build. again it’s implied that kuroo has met the reader (however briefly) a few times before - at games as nekoma’s manager, when she initially was introduced as his girlfriend and she has stayed over at their place in the past. it wasn’t so much a singular moment, but kuroo’s definitely been paying more attention to her than she realises. 

WHAT WHAT WHAT???? RHI UHMMM WAS KUROO IN LOVE WITH THE READER???? 👀👀👀👀 HOLY SHIT. I'm honestly mind blown rn like I have a lot of questions like did Shin know? Was he also into it? Omg the idea of Father and Son sharing reader...

(also I def did not hope that Bokuto was also there cuz that would have be fun....oppsss)🙊

hehehe

no, shin didn’t know but oh can you imagine the betrayal if he did? if he willingly set up the reader to be fucked by his dad 👀god damn

adsfgdhjfkfl there was a moment i genuinely considered having something more happen at the christmas party where bo would stumble across and one thing would lead to another.... but i decided not to go that route. this one needed to be solo kuroo haha

Rhi, what can I say, amazing as always!

ahhh thank you sm, bby!

Hi i absolutely love the kuroo fic at first no one would actually notice he was into and then story actually rises nicely however i would like to ask like what happens later im sorry im a little burnt out from my mountains of assignments that i cant think of a possible aftermath since the story had an open ending but yeah what happens later after the whole scene does y/n stay there for the 7 days and get r*ped again or she goes home early and like what happens to kuroo and shinsuke im sorry for annoying you with questions its fully up to you whether u would like to answer or not :-)

aw, thank you! I hope your assignments and stuff are all done? And pls bby, you’re not annoying me at all 💕💕💕

Honestly again, it’s kind of left up to what you like to think would happen, but personally I think that the reader stays, because there’s no easy way to get out of that situation without raising suspicion - which means that she then has to spend the next week trying unwittingly playing cat and mouse with Kuroo who’s gonna use every damn opportunity he has to push your boundaries 👀

Duuuuude invidia fucked me up! Like fuck, lol! The build up was so spectacular! It makes me wonder two things: how did kuroo’s obsession start, and what would shin have done if he caught them (and why do I feel like he’d join in... I guess it runs in the family lol).

I loved it sooooo much and im also so creeped out lol. Can’t trust other people’s dads. Everything about it was perfect!

glad you liked it, bby!!

shin’s a good boy and he genuinely loves the reader, but i think if he did stumble across the two of them he’d just shut down and walk away. it’d be the biggest betrayal in his eyes - it wouldn’t matter if you were drunk or he was, who came onto who - the two most important people in his life going behind his back would just break him :( and i think he probably wouldn’t give either of them a chance to explain

but if we’re talking degenerate shin... 👀👉👈

imagine if invidia! reader gets pregnant and Shin thinks it’s his, but its actually his dad’s 🤭

oooh kuroo would be such a smug little shit - he’d get extra touchy feely with the reader, drop ‘casual’ hints, basically doing everything outside of straight up admitting it to him, just to see how far he can push until shin starts to doubt whether he’s actually the father - when it’s just the two of you though... i think he’d be a little softer - but equally as possessive - you’re his, and so’s the kid growing inside of you

Kuroo: son do you know what a cuck is? Shinnosuke: no? Kuroo: wOULD YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT - @south-korea-cakes

dagshjskl i snorted when i read this but you’re not wrong lmao

hi rhi! i have a question about Lion’s Den! did oikawa purposely set the reader up to witness his true nature? or was it chance that she saw him kill?

no - i think he’d rather have kept you in the dark a little longer and tried to let things develop ‘organically’ but he’s not upset that you did find out the truth - gives him an excuse to move things along and take what he wants 👀

hey rhi:) soo my boyfriend of two years just broke up with me and so far a major comfort has just been rereading your stories. something about feeling desired, ya know? anyway, thanks for making me feel a little better <3 - @theofficialhufflepuff

aw i’m sorry to hear that :( i’m glad my fics can help make you feel a lil better - sending love bby! 💕

omg i adore everything in the soulmate series hello !! would any of the soulmate pairings ever end up feeling lowkey competitive w/ the other?? like all of them seem to mutually respect the other but would there ever come a point where smth pushes them into trying to outdo ur other soulmate when it comes to ur affection?

also have i mentioned how much i love ur writing bc i love ur writing

hmmm, not so much with oikawa & iwa or ushijima and tendou because i think they have pretty rock solid relationships with each other prior to the reader coming along - if they did it would only be minor stuff

the twins on the other hand - good fucking luck with them because they’ll turn everything into a competition. the moment one twin thinks you’re favouring the other too much expect to get dragged across the room and forced to spend ‘quality time’ with the other. it’s all very petty and exhausting and there is no possible chance for you to win. but thank you sweetheart!!

tonight im thinking about The Final Girl! boys forcing you to share a bed with them for the first time. With Kuroo’s face buried in the crook of your neck, one big hand palming your breast for good measure, Bo holding onto your waist, and Kaashi’s legs tangled with yours. its suffocating, really😪😓

asdgdhjdkdl suffocating? yes. now where do i sign up?? 🥺

you are so talented in writing it's crazy!! just the way you articulate things is ugh *chef's kiss*. i hope you are doing well and not receiving hate 🥺 ily pls

ahhh thank you so much, messages like these always make me so happy! ily bby! 💕

more karasuno first years soon? 👀

who’s to say?? i don’t have any full fics planned but maybe some concepts and thirsts??

if you make a yandere msby fic i’ll literally lose it i love your writing

👀i am considering it

[jaunes-hoodie-my-beloved]

oh? tell me more about ur revelation

OKAY SO

First of all, sorry for taking long to answer, it's hard to put into words LOL

anyway

SO IT TURNS OUT

As of right now, like, I think I might be trans, yeah? As in, just trans, if it makes sense. I'll still go into detail in a bit.

Just... The thought of it makes so much sense. Dysphoria is so fucking weird cause I don't mind seeing myself as one gender, I don't feel uncomfortable being me (?) or just vibing with the things I like to do. Nothing really has gender tbh, anyone can go and wear whatever and do whatever that's that.

However. Life isn't that easy.

And being perceived by others as one gender is so bad. So bad like, holy fuck. They say like "oh you have it so easy bc X reason" or "damn too bad you can't do X thing" and I'm just like. NO that's NOT ME.

... I wonder how my identity would work given different social uh. Expectations? Whatever it's called. 'cause I just said it's only when being perceived by others... I guess I have a lot of things to think about in that sense.

now, (drumrolls), for the revelation part - why didn't I realize this sooner?

1) I'm rather comfortable with a genderfluid identity given what I said earlier.

2) Scary. To change, and that people might not be kind.

3) it's always about sex or romance.

DON'T GET ME WRONG y'all do whatever you want you can do your stuff and whatever. But... I've always seen people treat gender stuff as something directly about being able to be with someone or whatever now that they figured out their gender identity and stuff.

I'm aroace.

(I think)

I don't have that on my mind as like, a priority or whatever? I don't care for it. And it's rather hard to find something to relate to when it's either a very minor thing or something that concerns a relationship of any kind.

- hey this character is neat. Oh they're trans? Cool. But no further backstory, nothing that makes me like "oh, I can understand and maybe that's kinda like me"

- hey this character is trans. Oh, their story is entirely about what their partner will be like once they're out? What people will say? Hm. Again, nothing I could relate to.

So. Finding something where someone's like "I'm trans because I want to be myself for myself" was so... Nice.

Because that's what I wanted. I don't need to leave one gender behind, I don't need to worry about other's opinions on it, I just wanted to be the way I wanted to be from a long time ago. Even if it's just to do things that are usually gendered.

I guess the realization of - hey, you're aroace, you're not gonna find your trans experience in these examples... Or however you wanna put it. That's what was so mind-blowing to me just now.

Ah. Feels nice to make sense of my thoughts. Even if it's scary to come out (i KNOW no one knows me here and blah blah blah, I get anxious over a lot of things, okay? okay.) it's great to feel... Like I finally found what I was looking for.

Again. I mean. That being said. I might keep the genderfluid identity. Still have some things to figure out and I don't know all of the identities and AAAAAAAAA but anyway.

Thanks for listening.

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 9 OF 22

You will let my tender hook Catch the folded darkness inside you, let me occupy The dented place at the base of your throat. - "One Life", Carlomar Arcangel Daoana

--

She wakes up late.

Comically late.

No hangover, thank god—but it’s 11am and she’s dressed in lent pajamas in a bed that isn’t her own. She shoots up to sitting position in a second, and standing in a minute, trudging out the room to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

By the time she’s up and out of the room, a little more awake, Dazai and Arthur have already long gone, the only remnants of their presence the bit of glitter that they had wiped onto the sofa they nestled in.

And text messages.

She squints when she reads it, not because she had a hard time reading what it said, but—because she couldn’t believe what it said.

A series of text messages from Dazai:

[ 7:23 | Dazai ] ur still asleep but ur friend kinda hot

[ 7:24 | Dazai ] ofc I woke up first but his eyelashes tho???

[ 8:32 | Dazai ] pls tell me he’s not a douche bc im rly gonna jump him

[ 9:03 | Dazai ] mgonna jump him

[ 10:19 | Dazai ] abt to find out if he’s got the magnum sized dong u promised

Oh, god, what has she done.

With a groan, she heads down the hallway, phone securely in the pocket of the sweatpants, to see Vincent and Theo preparing a meal in the kitchen; Theo preparing some sort of fillet (fish? Chicken?) and Vincent frying some onions and garlic on the stove, filling the kitchen with a nice aroma.

“Good morning,” she says softly, as she shuffles onto one of the dining table chairs.

“Thought you died,” Theo says with a snort; but once he turns around to face her, all derision goes away in his face and is replaced by a quiet surprise.

Vincent beams as he turns to get the fillets from Theo. (It’s chicken.) “Good morning. Did you sleep well? No headache?”

She shakes her head. “Nope, I’m good. Thanks for letting me sleep here last night and for the clothes.”

“Of course, no problem at all,” Vincent answers, turning back to the pan. The chicken makes a sizzle as it meets the oil.

Theo is still staring at her with an odd look on his face.

“Earth to Theo?” she calls out, waving her hand in front of her. “Something wrong?”

“Broer. Why did you lend her my clothes.”

Oh.

“You know how most my shirts are, paint-stained in all the weird places.”

She feels the cling of the cotton around her skin so differently, so suddenly. Oh.

“She wouldn’t have minded, she was drunk.”

That’s correct, but—

Vincent smiles at Theo, the kind of smile one makes when they can see through someone; she’s filled with a kind of relief at knowing that Vincent can do that to Theo. Maybe the man isn’t an impenetrable a character after all. “No need to be shy, Theo.”

“I am not,” he insists, finally tearing his gaze away from her and heading to the sink to wash the used chopping board and the knife. “I just don’t want her wearing my stuff.”

She smirks. He is shy. True, she didn’t get the opportunity to think about what she was putting on last night because she was so tired and knocked out by the alcohol, but…if that was the price she had to pay to see this side of Theo she doesn’t have the opportunity to witness often, then it was worth it. Oh, the ever put-together Theo, brought to his knees by only one person in the world, the one he trusts the most: his brother.  “Is it because your personality is contagious?” she teases, “wouldn’t want to catch that.”

He answers her with a glare. “Reverse. It’s your stupidity that’s contagious.”

“Oh, we’re pretty much equally as stupid, Theo. No need to worry.”

“We are not,” he says, and then Vincent elbows him carefully.

“You really should be a little gentler to your friends,” Vincent comments, as he turns the fillet onto its other side.

Theo grumbles something unintelligible and it makes her laugh. Sitting in the kitchen, watching the two brothers side by side with their back to her as they prepare—she checks the clock—lunch for the three of them, she hums, content. She’s lived alone for all her life here in the campus, and it was one she looked forward to after living in a house crammed with people for most of her life. But sitting here, watching them share the chores and maybe have a little banter with each other—makes her reconsider that maybe, maybe settling down in even the worst of places isn’t that horrible when you’re in good company.

Theo opens the plate cupboard and hands her a set of it with some cutlery. “Set the table at least, freeloader?” He says, though his voice lacks all the venom his words otherwise had.

Okay, she’ll have to reconsider if Theo counts as “good company.”

--

Theo barely survives lunch with her and his brother because of how much he gets teased by the two. He might argue that this is worse than being stuck with her and Arthur because since it is Vincent, he does not get the leeway to have a comeback, only able to grumble in displeasure at being see-through. They stuff their bellies not only with Vincent’s famed chicken with herbs but also with a hefty amount of laughter.

She slides back (slightly disgusted) into her costume to walk back home in, confident that many other students will be trudging along the streets suffering the same fate. (“Not everyone wakes up as late as you.” “There’s bound to be at least one, right?”) When she comes out of the bathroom, there’s a book on top of his neatly-folded clothes.

They speak at the same time.

“I could wash these first before giving it back if you—” “You had that with you all this time?”

Silence.

She breaks it with a laugh. “Yeah, it was a Saturday. I didn’t want to break the schedule.”

“You get so thorough about the weirdest things,” he comments, but he takes the bundle in her arms anyway. “It’s alright, I’ll have them. Let me get you a book, too.”

She follows Theo into the studio, where he crouches in front of some bookshelves. Vincent peeps from behind his easel. “You should walk her home,” he offers, as Theo pulls a few books out of the shelf.

“No, it’s alright, I’ll be fine! I’m not drunk or dizzy. The walk will help clear my head.”

“It’s twenty minutes out,” Theo points out, getting up.

“Just promise that if you find me asleep on the street you’ll pick me up?”

Handing Murakami’s Dance, Dance, Dance to her, Theo grins. “I can’t promise that.”

“Oh, Theo, you know you will.”

Even when she is long out of his sight, the smile on his face does not go away. Even as the day shifts into mundanity. Even as he’s carting a bagful of clothes to the launderette. Even as he picks up some groceries on the way home. Even as he prepares dinner for Vincent, who is a few hours deep into painting.

Maybe for a moment, it goes away, but—

He thinks of her and the smile comes back full force.

--

She spends the rest of Sunday recovering and hiding away in her room after the very socially draining party, but by Monday she’s hopped onto her bike and headed for the literature club’s little gazebo. She’s left a message for Dazai, asking for company. Sure, they spent quite a lot of time together in the past week, after having jumped through thrift stores and boutiques for the perfect Night Circus costume (and yes, she made him read the book beforehand too, for good measure) but Saturday was quite a day. She’s brought a couple of cookies for sharing with him, sitting at their usual spot, looking out at the quadrangle next to it.

“Toshiko-san! Sorry we kept you waiting!”

The plural takes her off guard, and she turns to find that Dazai has brought a rather distracted-looking Isaac along, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Isaac is always dressed so well—she supposes it’s part of the uniform or something of being seen as a respectable professor—but she sure does want to see him dress down once. T-shirt, shorts, that kind—Isaac seems to take everything too seriously.

The pleasant feeling of seeing a friend she hasn’t met up with in a long time is quickly replaced by confusion, as the science complex is nowhere near the Arts building. “Nice to see you here, Isaac,” she says, but also with the lilt of a question.

Dazai answers said question. “He’s here because he has nothing better to do, so I asked him to come.”

Isaac makes a face that’s both resignation and panic. “He passed by my office.” –and dragged me out because he wouldn’t take no for an answer, she finishes in her head.

“I see,” she answers, even though that’s not really an explanation in itself.

She knows Isaac through Dazai, and Dazai knows Isaac through a very peculiar class: Occultism 101.

A class team-taught by three major colleges in the university—the College of Arts, the College of Science, and the College of Social Sciences—Occultism 101 is one of the more controversial classes on campus because of its nature. It goes through a long history of the evolution and persistence of supernatural beliefs and practices among nations in the world, in that nice gray area between religion and science. There are only two kinds of students in Occultism 101: those who believe and who are genuinely interested, and those who do not believe and would like to spend an entire semester saying “bah! That’s not true!” to themselves all the time.

Occultism 101 is typically taught by professors from the College of Social Sciences and College of Arts with backgrounds in religious practices and other mystical behavior (whether in history or art), and then occasionally, in the middle of the semester, guest lecturers from the College of Science come in to give lectures on how these “supernatural events” may be explainable through scientific means. Say, how the piping system in a building can cause haunted “cold spots”, or how floating dust particles can come up in a photograph as “orbs”, or the likes.

And she doesn’t want to be very stereotypical about it, but a lot of people in the College of Science are pretty… well, square, and so no one really wants to teach Occultism 101, even if it’s only a few meetings in a semester. This is how this job ends up to unwilling, no-choice Ph.D. students such as Isaac.

It was just his luck that Dazai was in the section he taught.

“So, Osamu, care to tell us about your little date last Sunday?” she asks, as the other two have taken their seats across her. Dazai swoons a little at the mention of Sunday. Isaac looks at him with unsureness.

(Isaac has had the miserable experience of being the victim of Dazai’s flirtation at some point in time. One can see how that has instead simmer into a rather tentative friendship. All is well.)

Dazai rests his elbows on the table and places his chin on the palms of his hands. “He’s so dreamy.”

“No he isn’t,” she swiftly replies, without thought.

But Dazai pretends not to have heard it. “He’s not looking for a serious relationship though,” he adds. “Not that I am, either.”

“You aren’t?”

“No, sweetie,” Dazai explains. “But he’s my type and I’m his type and we couldn’t just leave it at that so I have his number now, and a little… arrangement.”

The word hangs in between them, swaying.

Oh no, that’s not any good. “What arrangement.”

“You don’t need to sound so concerned.”

“This is Arthur we’re talking about,” she insists, and the name makes Isaac flinch a little.

“Doyle, the med student?” Isaac asks, and she turns to him, blinking.

“You know him?” Remembering Arthur during the party, her mouth falls into a small o. “He knows you too, doesn’t he?”

Isaac scoffs. “Who in this university doesn’t?” Arthur’s pretty well-known to be a flirt. Something like having a checklist of bedding at least one person in every department—a rumor that would have been a little more shameful if the rumors also didn’t say how he was so good at it.

She nods. “Well, fair enough.”

“No, no, he’s an absolute sweetheart to me, so it’s definitely a you problem,” Dazai insists. “It’s just a friendship with benefits, yanno?” He emphasizes every of the following syllables with his tone and his hands: “Nice, big, hefty benefits.”

And even Isaac, who usually refrains from commenting no matter how much he has to say, has to quip with “Terrible choice, really.”

And she has to agree. “I respect you, but not your taste, Osamu.”

Dazai grins. “Understandable.” He picks up one of the sandwiches she’s prepared. “You make it sound like I’m the only one making bad decisions though.”

“Excuse me?”

He turns to Isaac. “You should have gone to the Halloween party. She brought her little boy toy.”

She scoffs. “He is not my boy toy.”

“You sure do have him around your finger though, getting in matching costumes and all that,” Dazai says. “Spends Saturdates with him all the time.”

The only strategy that will work in times like these is straight-up ignoring him. “Anyway—” she begins, about to steer the conversation away when Isaac speaks up.

“It’s nice to hear you’re getting close to other people,” he says softly. Isaac has a way of speaking that makes it always seem like he’s spent so much time thinking about what he said before he actually said it; so sometimes it’s hard to gauge if he’s saying it casually or entirely seriously.

So she blinks. “You make it seem like I have no friends, Isaac.”

“I-It’s not that!” he suddenly blurts. Ah, there. There’s the usual Isaac. “You’ve spent so much time focusing on your work lately, it’s nice to know you’re relaxing with other people sometimes.”

And he doesn’t say it, but she sure does hear it: the you haven’t been to the astronomy club in a while and it’s made me worried about you.

She doesn’t go religiously, but she used to attend fairly often to hang out with the other members and just look up at the stars. Isaac tries to organize at least two sessions in a month, one to look at the moon, and another to point at the stars. She hasn’t been able to catch them in a bit.

But then, slowly, as the image of the view outside the astronomy club’s hangout is refreshed in her mind, the way the physics building rooftop is just high enough to provide a good view of the rest of the campus below, the city downtown, just at the right place on campus that at night, the rest of the sprawling town’s streetlights trickle out like golden LED veins through the threes—an idea begins to implant itself into her head.

Taking root immediately.

She likes to go up here to think. She really shouldn’t have had permission to go up there on her own, in her free time, since they have rules about club hours and the likes, but Isaac is a close friend and gave her a spare key, so she can come and go as she pleases. And sure, the Grove is a nice, quiet place for book clubs and maybe doing homework if one doesn’t need an electric socket, but up here in the astronomy club’s “the Rooftop”, she feels like she can float away into the vast ocean of her thoughts and get lost in them for a moment.

She feels small up there. And that’s a good feeling.

She won’t tell it to Isaac’s face but it’s one of the primary reasons why she applied for the astronomy club in the first place. The stars are great no matter how dumb she is at physics, but the view—it’s really something else.

What does the world look like from the point of view of a star? How tiny are human lives in the vast expanse of the universe? How long have these stars been out there, how long will they stay out there, how much longer will they stay in this universe more than we will?

…This is why Theo teases her for being a literature major: all these goddamn metaphors.

And for a split second, she thinks…

Maybe it isn’t that bad to share that same quiet space with him?

…You know, to talk books.

“About that…”

Isaac and Dazai turn to her.

“Mind if I sneak in an outsider to the Roof?” she asks, facing Isaac with genuine hope in her voice.

Isaac only shrugs. “Do as you please,” he says casually, taking a cookie from her little box on the table.

And she grins like he’d just given her the light of the world. “Thank you, Isaac.”

Dazai shakes his head, because he knows she’s got no denying herself out of this one the next time.

[kodzuken-pie]

Good evening/morning/afternoon idk what time zone ur in exdjfj do you take seijoh requests? if so, could I request something where iwa is dating mattsuns twin and they're hiding it bc he's super protective of them but he finds out? w a happy ending pls! I love ur writing 🥺

[ A/N : I love this request so much omg 🥺 I’m so so so sorry this took so long 😔 I really hope you like it, thank you for requesting 💞 ]

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—✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ Secrets out ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯—

——————————————————————————

“Hey y/n” Iwaizumi said quietly.

“Hm? What is it Iwa-chan?” You say as you look up to meet his eyes.

He stops in his tracks and stares at you, making you stop walking as well. He had asked you to hangout with him that day and it wasn’t particularly weird since you two have been friends for awhile. What was weird was the way he had acted that day, getting flustered every time you brushed up against him and him blushing furiously at your actions.

“Is something wrong?” Curiosity laced in your tone.

His face turned red again and this made you want to tease him more. After all you were the only one who could tease him and not get yelled at. He hadn’t noticed the smirk on your face as you started pestering him about his previous behavior.

“Oh? What is this? Your face, it’s red? You started. “Iwa-chaaaaaaaan! Why are you flustered?” You added sounding childish. Continuing the torment, you had no idea what was about to happen.

He grabs your hand out of nowhere and pulls you close. Your faces were so close to each other that if you moved any closer, your lips would be touching. Now it was your turn to be flustered. It was silent for a while and his gaze became intense.

“Iwa?” You peeped.

“I like you y/n.” He says suddenly. “Like more than just friends.” He added.

“W-what?” You stuttered. “W-why me? W-wait?! Y-you, Are you s-serious?” Your face was red now.

“Yes, I’m very serious about this. I want you to be my girlfriend.” His resolve was clear.

Who knew that the two of you would have been a couple? Although You and Iwaizumi have been friends since the first day of school so it wasn’t that big of a surprise that you two would end up as a couple. Although the situation was a little rough since Matsukawa Issei was your twin brother. There had been so many times when he almost caught the two of you.

“Oh y/n and Iwa, what are you two doing here?” Issei asked, sitting between the two of you.

“Oh! Uh! Uhmmm….” you were thinking.

“I just thought I’d accompany her since she was just kinda sitting here by herself.” Iwaizumi says nonchalantly.

“We usually have lunch here together, I just thought I was going to get caught up with some stuff so I told her I wouldn’t be able to eat with her.” Your twin explains. “Thanks for eating lunch with her by the way.” Issei adds.

*jeez how can Hajime talk so casually?! We almost got caught AGAIN! I can’t believe he almost saw us kiss!! Gah! I told him we should be more careful, one of these days I swear Issei will see!* you thought to yourself, looking calm and listening to your brother and your boyfriend talk to each other casually.

This didn’t stop him though. Iwaizumi wanted to let everyone know that you were his and his only. It was hard to keep your relationship a secret because of this. Both of you have contemplated and discussed this topic so many times in your relationship.

“Princess, I can’t stand all these guys ogling at you. They need to know you’re mine.” He says, hugging you tightly.

“Hajime, you trust me right?” You say leaning your back into his chest.

“Of course I do. It’s these jerks I don’t trust.” He says, giving your ear a little nibble.

“Then it should be alright for now, yes?” You turn and look up at him.

You stare at him until he looks away, pouting while saying yes. He had come over to your house for a “study session” because you “needed help” with some homework you “couldn’t understand”. The two of you were sitting on your bed, your back against his chest while you were sitting in between his legs. He had his arms wrapped around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder.

The two of you always had time together like this since you knew that your brother would never come one your room unannounced. It was rare for Issei to disturb you when Iwaizumi was over so it was a surprise when he opened the door and he saw you and your boyfriend like that.

You’ve imagined every single scenario you could think of when your twin would finally get to know or discover the secret you’d been hiding from him. From him seeing you two be very affectionate to you finally sharing your secret.

“Ah , Issei! It’s not what it looks like!” or “Issei, Hajime and I are dating.”

But for some reason, you never thought that he would just waltz into your room without knocking, he would always knock before entering your room, especially when he knew that you were having a “study session” with Iwaizumi.

“Hey you two, I got some snacks I-“ He stops in his tracks as he looks up. “W-what are two doing?” The look on his face said it all.

Issei was in complete shock. He was frozen in place and so were you and your boyfriend. The room was quiet for a bit and the first one to break the silence was Iwaizumi.

“Mattsun, I can explain.” He says as he lets you go and swiftly gets up.

“You and y/n?? You and y/n…. You.. and….y/n…” Your twin repeated over and over.

“Issei?” You whispered. “Uhm… yeah, Hajime and I are a thing….” you trailed off.

“Oi! Say something will yah?” Iwaizumi exclaimed.

“That actually makes sense.” Issei says after a while. “Yeah. This is fine. Anyways, you guys want some snacks?” He asked, now unfazed by what he had just discovered.

“What?” You and your boyfriend said in unison.

“Wait so, you’re just cool with it?” You blurted out.

“Yeah, why?” Issei answered, opening a bag of chips.

“We kept it a secret from you for like a few months now.” Iwaizumi replied.

“And?” Your twin was unimpressed. “Look, I was surprised at first but then I realized that the two of you have become really close since our first year. At some point I knew that you two were probably going to get together like this someday and I’m cool with it. I trust you, Iwa-chan. I know you won’t hurt y/n like that.” He adds, sighing a little.

“You aren’t angry?” You squeaked, hiding behind your boyfriend.

“Of course not y/n. I can see that you two like each other a lot and like I said I knew this was going to happen someday.” He reassured you. “Now, do you guys want some of these snacks or what?” He asked again.

Both you and Hajime were dumbfounded by what Issei said. You two turned to look at each other, both looking astonished. Then you both broke into a smile, giggling a little. You took your brother's offer for the snacks and felt relief wash over you.

Ever since that day, your relationship with Hajime was made public and all those peering eyes were met with his intense gaze. He was finally able to show everyone that you were his and he was yours.

Years later, the two of you would look back at these moments and laugh. Now you two are happily married and are expecting a beautiful baby boy.

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