#so like. idk. i think text is great and i think audiobooks are great

[aeide-thea]

i've been trying 2 think how 2 phrase this post bc like. audioboooks are great both for people who can only take in books that way AND for people in situations where they need their eyes and/or hands for something else, and i absolutely don't want to knock them (not to mention that like. a really compelling audiobook reader brings their own charisma and tonal palette to the project and elevates it)

but also i've been listening to lotr in one (1) ear as i bike (bc like. i do think it's an important safety consideration to have one ear available to alert me to passing traffic etc) and like. frodo and sam and pippin JUST made it to buckland. this is literally hours of bicycling time we're talking about at this point. if i'd been gulping down the text with my eyeballs i could have finished the book if not the whole trilogy by now!

[aropride]

i want to read so bad & i feel awful abt not being able to read well- like understand what im reading i mean i can physically read words fine- especially considering like. i want to be a writer thats all i care abt. and i can't read a 200 page book anymore. like okay

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I left a bad review on a book I haven’t purchased?

(📚📖 to find later)

I’m an audiobook narrator professionally. I do most of my work via independent contracting with a production company. NOTE: they are NOT a publishing house. They do not provide editors/betas/etc for the text, they focus on turning (usually self published) books into audiobooks and marketing those audiobooks.

Most of the books I record with them are great, and I have a lot of fun reading good books! But…some of the books I’ve read for them have been. REALLY. REALLY. bad. Like I personally would have stopped reading within the first few pages bad if it wasn’t literally my job to read the words out loud.

I’m currently reading a book for them that makes me want to tear my hair out. The writing is boring, badly paced, and repetitive. None of the characters are likeable, and the relationships are shallow, the combat is boring, there are no stakes, etc etc. To give you an idea, the main character is the type of kid who on the playground would insist he had a mega super invincibility shield so you couldn’t touch him, but he also had a mega super invincibility shield breaking sword if you decided you wanted a shield too. And the narrative REWARDS HIM for acting that way.

I’ve never left a review on any of the books I’ve narrated before, but this one…i am seriously considering writing a review to try and warn people away from this book.

A few things to consider, though:

1: i am not being paid royalty share from the book, i get a flat rate based on the number of hours in the final audiobook. But as far as I know, the author only starts making money from producing this audiobook once the production company makes back the money they paid me for making it.

2: i would review anonymously/under a fake name and only on the book product page, not the product page for the audiobook version.

3: if an audiobook does not sell, then it is most likely I will not be obligated to continue recording the rest of the series (and it IS a series. At least three books are out as of now. I am currently slated to record them all, provided the audiobook sells decently)

4: the book currently has ~250 reviews already, and a 4.7/5 rating (how???? get some fucking standards), so it’s not like I’m leaving a 1 star review on something that only has 6 reviews.

I don’t think that one bad review would tank the whole series, but I do feel like leaving bad reviews on a product I didn’t even buy might be a dick move, especially if the author’s pay for this book relies on it selling well. But on the other hand, his book sucks and people should know that.

I wouldn’t be leaving a “0 stars: this sucks” review, I’d want to make it comprehensive and detailed. But I’d also feel bad about that because I’m sure the author reads his reviews, and even though his book sucks shit, i don’t want to like…make someone lose their passion to write? But ALSO if you’re making people pay $16 for the book and/or $40 for the audiobook, maybe the book should be fucking good? Idk.

So, tumblr, WIBTA?

[ofliterarynature]

DECEMBER 2023 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok no thanks (reread) book club*]

Mixed Magics • Chalice • To Shape a Dragon's Breath • The Haunting Season • Hither Page • The Henchmen of Zenda • System Collapse • The Phantom of the Opera • An Unexpected Peril • A Minor Chorus* • The September House • (The Dream Thieves) • The Fragile Threads of Power • The Pinhoe Egg • (Network Effect) • Some Desperate Glory

total: 16 (audiobook: 12 / ebook: 4)

Happy New Year booklr! Here's to actually getting my last monthly wrap-up post of 2023 out in decent time for once.

Some Desperate Glory - I'm getting myself off to a bad start here because I don't actually remember much from the book and I didn't write a review at the time. oops. But I do remember that once things got going I was hooked, and I couldn't wait to pick the audiobook back up. Definitely some content warnings to look out for, but an incredible read. I definitely need to go back and check out the author's other work.

Network Effect - the last book of my Murderbot reread, still great, glad to have finally read this in a text format! Also better suited to be read *after* Fugitive Telemetry, I wish I'd known to read them in chronological order the first time.

The Pinhoe Egg - a nice wrap up to the main Chrestomanci series! Though if anyone can tell me why on eARTH the 'recommended' reading order is like *that*, please explain it to me. I'd forgotten so many things by the time we got back to Cat, if I ever reread I'm going chronologically.

The Fragile Threads of Power - lord help me, I could do a whole rant. A quick summary of my relationship to this series: loved Shades of Magic when it first came out, did not love/was very annoyed by most of it when I reread them in 2023. Also have not really liked any of Schwab's other work. BUT. I was under the impression that this spinoff would have new main characters, and the old ones would be present but not in the center. If I didn't just make this up, it was LIES. The original MC's still dominate probably at least 60% of the book, and you'd think 7 years in-book and more experience on behalf of the writer would mature them, but a) no, and b) so many goddamn flashbacks. And Kel's assasin-sona was so cringe I wanted to cry. I did actually like the new main character which really is the biggest shame of all. If you see me contemplating the next book please stop me.

The Dream Thieves - I don't know that I have much to add yet to my thoughts about TRB in my Nov post, but I've been having a very strange experience where when I'm actively reading these, I'm having an incredibly good time; when I'm not I completely forget I was reading it. lol?

The September House - this is possibly the closest to my ideal horror book that I've ever found??!!? I have a weird relationship with horror, wherein I am not uninterested, but I almost never enjoy the ones I read (I think it has to do with my irl anxiety, idk). But THIS one. It's such an INCREDIBLE blend of like, mundane horrors and dark humor? I loved it. The "you can live with the horrors if you just follow the rules" is very much my vibe, and the way the author chose to have it integrate with the main character's experiences of domestic abuse was very smart. Deeply enjoyed, but probably won't be a favorite.

A Minor Chorus - this month's book club pick! I really really wish I'd liked this, and I'm torn between "thank god it was short," and "oh I wish this was longer." It's about a queer Indigenous doctoral student in Canada who's somewhat lost his way on his dissertation and is instead writing a novel (maybe), inspired by the stories of people in his community. On one hand, the writing was sometimes very beautiful and the different stories were interesting! On the other, my academic-speak abilities are limited, and the narrator did not hold back. He even explicitly states at one point, oh I can't describe my book this way to [character] because he won't understand my academic language. And...yeah. My brain got a little overwhelmed and I skimmed a lot of those parts. The hopeful part of me thinks if that if the book had been longer maybe I would have had time to "get it," but idk.

An Unexpected Peril - Veronica Speedwell is as Veronica Speedwell does. Had a good time with this even though it's proving to not be the most memorable. Mostly I remember intensely panicking over whether or not V had practiced forging the princess's signature, lol.

The Phantom of the Opera - this was a last minute sub for my classics challenge; I've never seen any of the adaptations, but I happened to see the book on tumblr when I was scrambling for a replacement and thought it might be fun. And it was! Quite ridiculous and dramatic, and I had a good time reading it. I was surprised by the outsider POV on the story, but it was good, just a shame that it didn't allow Christine to tell her own story. If anyone has a Christine-centered retelling I should read, let me know! And are there any adaptations I should watch?

System Collapse - new Murderbot! I was so excited for this, I'm irritated that my brain and work schedule didn't want to cooperate and let me read my nice pretty hardcover; I ended up getting the audiobook from the library instead. I had an incredible time, because it's Murderbot, how could I not? But it's also interesting, because Network Effect felt quite cohesive and contained on its own, but this feels very much like an in-between story (almost like Fugitive Telemetry), rather than a continuation of the same thread. I'll be interested to see where Martha takes us from here.

The Henchmen of Zenda - my last KJ Charles of the year! I did mean to get through all of her books, but things slipped by me these last few months so I still have a couple, but managed to fit this standalone in! It's not the only time she's pulled characters from works of classic fiction, and I admit, I'm now very curious and kind of want to read the original Prisoner of Zenda? Definitely this version had an exciting plot that was fun to read, though I don't think it'll be my favorite of her works (yay for a non-traditional relationship structure tho :)

Hither, Page - I don't think I've read Cat Sebastian before, but I've had this one recommended and it sounds right up my ally - historical/cozy myster/spy shenanigans/gay romance! And it was an incredibly pleasant read, would recommend, but I do think it could have been better as both a mystery and a romance.

The Haunting Season - I almost picked this up in October for spooky season, but put if off for Dec since it's meant to be wintery ghost stories - and only just remembered it in time! I almost wish I hadn't. The first two stories were so meh for me that I almost DNF'd it, I just didn't want the fuss of having to find a new audiobook for work the last day before Christmas break. Luckily Natasha Pulley showed up next with a good story (I really ought to read her books) and there was a good run of 4 stories with another 2 meh to round things out. It wasn't a total loss, but I wouldn't really recommend.

To Shape a Dragon's Breath - If you've seen people singing the praises of this book, they're not wrong! It's a very good if sometimes heavy read, and this is definitely the closest I've gotten to liking a boarding school story since Protector of the Small (I got burned out on them very quickly, lol). It does sometimes read like the debut it is, it's not perfect (lots of infodump speeches, lord save me from the technicalities of alchemy/chemistry, and I would have liked to see more done in her relationship with her dragon), but it's also doing some incredible and unique things that really make me want to see more books in this series and whatever else the author writes.

Chalice - I've read Robin Mckinley before and I've found her work ok, but this one has been repeatedly recommended in the HOTE discord server - I figured it would be a good one to wrap up the year with! And surprise surprise, the fealty-coded discord loves a book about... fealty XD and good stewardship, and magic bees, etc. It's incredibly on brand, and I had a lovely time with this fairy-tale of a book.

Mixed Magics - a collection of Chrestomanci short stories; I actually read one of the stories a few months ago due to the recommended reading order (bleh), and thought it would be fairly simple to finish it off before the end of the year, now that I'd finished the rest of the series. All fun, if not equally interesting, and a nice end to the year. Now I just need to find a new Diana Wynne Jones series to try (not on audiobook, alas, my library is all out of those).

(I did almost consider then binging the Hither, Page sequel on new year's eve, just so I wouldn't split the series, but decided against it :D)

[german-enthusiast]

Hi :) I hope you are well.

I am learning German and was wondering if I could get some audio book recommendations on Spotify ? I enjoy historical fiction, the classics and weird surrealist literature. My favorite book in English is a tale for the time being by Ruth Ozeki I also liked that book called Perfume but I have forgotten the authors name. I would also like any tv or movie recommendations too if possible :)

Thank you !

Hi!!

I've only JUST reinstalled Tumblr and I'm so glad I saw your ask!

(I'll give short summaries of reccs and links in a list later in the post!)

Surrealist lit and classics? have i got the book for you!

Die Verwandlung von Franz Kafka (Eng: The Metamorphosis) professionally recorded on Spotify.

It might be a tough one, being classics and from 1915, but the text should be available online to read along!

Once you've finished that, I suggest reading (the english) Haruki Murakami's "Samsa in love," a short story based on Die Verwandlung!! (available online!)

Other surrealist classics could be "Der Steppenwolf" (Hermann Hesse) and "Der goldene Topf" (E.T.A. Hoffman) - both of which were works analyzed in the Abitur (german highschool graduation exams) and thus might be especially tough, but on the flip side there's thousands of German resources about the books online!

"Der Goldene Topf" is on Spotify, Steppenwolf doesn't seem to be...

However! As you progress (idk your level but classics tend to be difficult even for natives), you might come to appreciate Reclam (a german publisher) with a focus on classics (known for their small yellow books)) and, great news, they publish professional recording of German classics on Spotify!

In terms of classics, here's my favorite: Stefan Zweig, a german author especially famous for his short stories. One of them, Schachnovelle, is on Spotify by Reclam here!

To be honest, Schachnovelle is a favorite because they made it a movie a couple years ago and it is SO. FREAKING. GOOD. (bad news: incredibly different from the original story but in a way you get two great stories under one name so I'm not complaining!) on the OTHER hand, I just found out that there's an audiobook of the book of the movie on Spotify, so you can also listen to that and then watch the movie (or vice versa)

TV or Movie reccs: if you can, get Netflix and a VPN! with the vpn you should be able to make Netflix think you're in Germany and there is barely a show/movie on German Netflix that isn't dubbed (or at the very least subbed) - really, we dub everything (and it's not bad either most of the time!!)

Besides that, our "öffentlich rechtliche" (the publicly owned) channels have got "Mediatheken" (basically Netflix for their shows) and you can watch most that is published on those channels in TV here (ARD, ZDF,...) on there (often with subtitles! (i should make a post about this, damn!)

Here some german movie/TV reccs on Netflix: Fack you Göthe 1&2&3, (T)Raumschiffsurprise, Petterson and Findus, Mord mit Aussicht, der Tatortreiniger

(Reminder that most shows/movies you already know and love on Netflix will probably be dubbed in Germany! AND that in Netflix in a browser, one can browse by language!)

List of reccomendations & links:

Die Verwandlung (Franz Kafka) - man wakes up in body of a bug (link)

Der Steppenwolf (Herman Hesse) - man thinks two wolfes live inside him

Der goldene Topf (E.T.A. Hoffmann) - man falls in love with a snake who is the daughter of a magician who is a lizard or something? (link)

Die Schachnovelle (Stefan Zweig) (movie version) - austrian notary is arrested by the nazis because he has access to money of noble families, he's put in a hotelroom and deprived of mental stimulus to make him crack but he discovers chess to keep himself sane (link)

Reclam Spotify (link)

On Netflix:

Fack you Göthe - criminal poses as a teacher to get access to the basement of a school where his loot is hidden, teacher-student bonding, Eylas M'Barek (actor) national treasure

(T)Raumschiff Surprise - parody of Star Trek, really funny (maybe moreso to natives), at times a bit problematic because it's from 2004; Germans LOVE it

Petterson and Findus - old man with his cat. cute. nordic. cozy.

Mord mit Aussicht - policewoman from Cologne is relocated to a little rural town (she's a city person, yknow?), little town shenanigans, murder and cute bonding ensues (maybe quite german humor?)

Der Tatortreiniger - a man who cleans up crime scenes for a living. Each episode is him cleaning a different crime scene until a person comes around and starts talking to him (about their life, his job, ...) (similar to MmA, has got the same actor, similar humor)

ARD Mediathek: (link) https://www.ardmediathek.de/

recc: Sendung mit der Maus !!! (a show for kids with both little stories and explaining how the world works, a classic for all german kids, was aired sunday mornings and part of the sunday ritual for many!)

ZDF Mediathek (link) https://www.zdf.de/

I couldn't find non-classics on Spotify that fit your type but should I find some in the future I'll message you and maybe someone else has some reccs!!

Hope this helps!

And I really reccomend the Mediatheken!!!

[iasmelaion]

what happens when you listen to three audiobooks in like a week and a half

We've been at trial for like the past two weeks at work, which means I have been alone in the office, with approximately 2 hours worth of work to do every day max, mostly just there to answer frantic emails and texts about "what exhibit number is [vague and potentially inaccurate description of email or other document]?" and occasionally file supplemental trial briefs. Anyway, it's all up to the jury now! Only not now now because it is a court holiday and because this case lives to torment me and never ever ever finish ahahaha it's fine i'm fine, we better win.

Anyway, all of that is to say I was bored as hell so I decided to finally finish listening to the audiobook of Gideon the Ninth, which I had started listening to LAST FEBRUARY. You can perhaps guess that, as good as the audiobook narration was, I was not entirely feeling the book. Ahaha. Ha. I was already mentally writing my Goodreads review, complaining about how yes, the narrative voice is great, and yeah, the set up and genre mashup are fun (lesbian necromancers in space! country manor mystery! slasher horror!), but there's just not enough context and the worldbuilding is so vague and what are the overarching stakes even. And then the last 1/3 of the book happened, and I listened to all three current books in the series in like a week and a half and I have spent the last two days rotating these characters in my head and reading meta and such. Sorry in advance about how in approximately two weeks time, my queue will be full of TLT shit.

Spoilers and assorted jumbled reactions below, because I'm not about to ramble like this on goodreads. But real talk, I have skimmed so much spoilery talk/fan art/etc about these books and absolutely none of it made any sense at the time so tbh I don't think it matters all that much if you're spoiled. The spoilers won't even make any damn sense most of the time.

I wish I could give this series some kind of pitch that would, idk, explain it or make it seem enticing, but lol I have no idea where I'd even start. I'll just say that if you are in need of Enrichment in your Enclosure, these books are like being tossed a very meaty bone full of delicious marrow which you can gnaw upon for a good long while.

Gideon's narrative voice is a lot of fun, and I do quite enjoy how she's basically a big lesbian jock, even if that did make a lot of the first book rough going for me because alas, Gideon, bless her, is not interested in much beyond hot ladies, swords, staying alive, and getting off her home planet. And Harrow, of course.

HARROW. For 2/3 of the first book, Gideon hates her passionately, they've been enemies their entire lives, they are vicious and awful to each other. Now, I knew Gideon/Harrow was like THE ship for these books, and I was like "...hm. Listen, I simply do not vibe with this kind of enemyship." But then that last third happened, and auuughhhhh. They're enemies, they were all the other had, they were two rats trapped in a barrel, desperate to get out, clawing and biting and snarling and hurting each other, they were each other's only solace, they were doomed from the start. They've been trapped in a cycle of terrible violence, and I have no idea if they can ever get out. And the love Gideon wants from Harrow is to be used and consumed and destroyed by love, and the love Harrow wants to give is to save her and keep her even if it means forgetting her. Like, y'all, I ship it, but I have no idea how there's any kind of future in it.

And then Harrow the Ninth happened, and goddamn, poor fucking Harrow. I felt for her already after the revelation in Gideon the Ninth, but Harrow the Ninth made me so desperately sad for her.

Good job on the soup though, Harrow!

Also the low key comedy of all of them stuck with each other on the Mithraeum was *chef's kiss*. Just like THE most demented and toxic workplace sitcom while poor Harrow is descending into a total mental breakdown.

The worldbuilding is so fascinatingly, complicatedly BONKERS. Also it's so SPACE CATHOLICISM that I don't even know what to say about it. I'm not qualified. But like. It is. It's so Space Catholicism, but also make it More Goth. And it's clearly concerned with religion and faith and all that, but not in a Narnia kind of way, and I am FASCINATED about where it's all leading to.

What a fucking villain this series has in John Gaius aka God aka Necrolord Prime aka the Prince Undying aka the Emperor of the Nine Houses aka Jod. Just absolutely skin-crawlingly horrible, the literal Worst Person Who Ever Lived, even as he's affable and funny and occasionally endearing and pathetic. And like I'm not even sure all of that stuff is a mask or a cover for his monstrousness! Like I think he genuinely is affable and funny and endearing and pathetic! He is just also quite literally History's Greatest Monster. I'm not sure if he was always like this, though I'm leaning towards him having been an awful man before he became god, in all those quiet, too-easily unnoticed ways men are awful, the moment they have any power over someone. And then Jod gets all the power so of course his awfulness becomes correspondingly greater.

I will say though that Jod's origin story is an actual horror movie, the stuff of nightmares. It's the end of the world because climate change and he and his team are frantically working on some way to save everybody but it doesn't quite work, not well enough, and no one is listening to him, and the clock is ticking down and of course the billionaires have a way out, of course they're gonna get on some space ships and bounce, but what about everyone else? Jod is sure he can save everyone else, if only he had the resources, if only they'd listen to him. And someone was listening, it turns out. Someone--something gives him power. Terrible, terrible power over life and death. And he becomes something else and makes choice after terrible choice, enabled by his friends, and then whoops not whoops! He's killed everybody on the fucking planet and ate the sun and the whole solar system too!! Absolutely terrifying reveal, and it's built up to so well. We spend so much time listening to Jod and so much of what he says is reasonable or understandable, but every so often there's a hint that under his commendable politics and goals and general hapless nerd vibes, there's something else, something much, much worse.

Actually, this whole part would make a truly great horror movie, especially if it starts off as an almost dark comedy that shifts genres as it goes: from dark comedy to suspenseful thriller to eldritch horror.

Also he gets, like, super weird about the cadavers he's been experimenting on. Like, deeply, horrifying creepy and weird about them.

Lotta people get weird about corpses in this series, if I'm being honest.

CAMILLA AND PALAMEDES. I am UNWELL about these two. I am UNHINGED. I am still rotating them in my mind, unable to do much but WEEP. "So...do you ship them??" you might ask. To which I say idk and idc, what does to ship these two even MEAN at this point, they are platonic, they are romantic, they are eros, philia, AND agape, and they're the Love that Is Perfected in Death. The absolute fucking pinnacle of insane codependence. Childhood BFFs who crawled into each other's skins and hearts and souls and never crawled back out. How much more codependent is it possible to get? NONE. NONE MORE CODEPENDENT. They have MERGED THEIR SOULS AND BODIES TOGETHER INTO ONE BEING. [actually, real talk, i am uncertain of the Soul Situation, I am pretty sure they've merged their souls together, but like. idk. they do also say they will be known as themselves "beyond the River" after death] I am WEEPING just THINKING ABOUT IT. That is not fucking hyperbole btw, the mere thought of them basically makes me cry, it's fine, i'm fine. They love each other SO MUCH. I CANNOT HANDLE IT.

Anyway, rather difficult to "ship" a pairing that has become...one person. Like, still willing to make a game go of it even during the period where they're sharing a body, but like. Now they are one person??? Because this is not a Steven Universe-style fusion where Ruby and Sapphire can unfuse from Garnet, Camilla and Palamedes are now one person, no takebacks while they live. I do love Paul though! Fucking adore that some of Paul's first acts as a new person were acts of kindness and mercy. Jod's lyctors are called saints, but I think Paul is the only one who is a saint in truth.

So, a triumph or a tragedy or both that Camilla and Palamedes died to become Paul? Idk! I adored Camilla and Palamedes as individual characters, I adored how in many ways they're the certain, just moral center of this entire series, I love their intelligence and ferocity, and oh, after Nona the Ninth, I loved so much how they loved. Each other, and other people. I loved Camilla using truths like her swords, her dry humor, how she was still so kind even while being an absolute stone cold fucking badass. I loved Palamedes, his brilliance and how he bent basically all that brilliance into helping people. I loved so fucking much that he was the one who figured out that there was a better way to achieve lyctorhood than the way Jod and his lyctors set out for them. I loved that stuck in a bubble in the underworld, with nothing but a terrible erotic novel, he started having serious opinions about said erotic novel and undoubtedly wrote terrible fanfiction in his head about it.

Ahem. Anyway. Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn were also delightful, and I was especially charmed by the lovely Welsh accents Moira Quirk gives them in the audiobook. Love that Abigail has immensely powerful, friendly mom friend energy while simultaneously being an immensely powerful Eldritch Speaker for the Dead. Gideon observing her all like "ah, her eye contact is...extremely very unsettlingly intense! but also she is wearing an apron and is cheerful so that's alright then."

God, this is really long, sorry to anyone who actually read it, possibly i will reblog with more disjointed thoughts.

[nyx-b-log]

ngl it's been a rough reading week but i'm back on a saturday! go me for having my shit together.

i finished two things this week, skulduggery pleasant and hidamari ga kikoeru (i hear the sunspot) and enjoyed both!

the audiobook of skulduggery pleasant is really good, and the actual text holds up surprisingly well from what i remember when i read it as a kid. it's not perfect (all the stuff with beryl and co is a bit ehhhh even if it evolves later) and i'm looking forward to carrying on with the series!

hidamari ga kikoeru was an easy read, with some nice art and enjoyable characters. i was left a bit wanting at the end of the volume but i know there's more in this universe so i'll pick those up at some point. it didn't grab me as such, but i can definitely see why people love it.

i attempted to finish the semantic error novel but idk, i think i'll just follow the manhwa at this point. i felt like i was missing things which the manhwa makes up for in the art (which sucks cos i do want to read the novel but don't know korean). translation is hard work tho, and i appreciate the team for putting it out there for people like me to read!

also still pushing along with children of time but have had a rough week in general and it felt like a bit much to tackle atm. i'm only 150 pages in. i enjoy it when i actually sit down with it (and am very glad i'm not an arachnophobe) but it's getting over that intimidation hump that's the problem. portia's bits are the most engaging for me.

in terms of stuff i've started, my new audiobook is the martian by andy weir and read by wil wheaton, which is great. he hits all the right comic beats and makes the science sound more engaging and convincing than i remember the paper copy being (which was already pretty good). if you're gonna read it, this is the way i'd recommend. the sudden shift from first person to third is still super jarring tho.

i'm also a very short way through utsukushii kare (aka my beautiful man) and am finding the book much less mean than the drama, so far anyway. plenty of time for that to change 😅 cos hira hasn't properly interacted with kiyoi yet (i'm at the bit where he's got his first pennies). i've got all three LNs, so we'll see how it goes. it's fairly easy to read, and the art is lovely.

i'm pretty sure that's it? hopefully i finish some of these by next week and offer some more interesting thoughts!

[zephfair]

Thank you so much for tagging me @mychemicalrachel You made me really think about this one! 😘💖💖💖

Rules: in a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.

I’m cheating because I’m procrastinating, these are mostly series, and I feel like babbling.🤣

1. The Black Stallion series by Walter Farley. 🐴🐎🐴 I was that crazy horse girl growing up and I re-read most of these books so many times, especially The Black Stallion Mystery, I could’ve quoted them. Except for the weird end-of-the-world one. That one scared me so badly, I never could finish it.

2. Man O’ War by Walter Farley. 🐴🏇🏇 Same reason, I was a horse-obsessed kid and this one about the real-life, famous racehorse moved me and made me cry and I told everyone for years that I wanted to be a jockey when I grew up. SPOILER: I did not achieve this dream. But I still remember the book and story very fondly.

3. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. 🌸💮🌸 I read this as a kid and thought it was lovely and sad and very moving. I listened to an audiobook of it a couple years ago, and it held up.

4. Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy. As a teenager I got into the Tom Clancy novels (idk how; I think Mom bought me some used because they were very long and she thought it’d slow down my book consumption🤷), and I remember carrying this one to school for months because I would read it (656 pages!) in hidden snatches during study halls or free time. When I finished it, I did a book report on it and got an A.😂

5. Agatha Christie’s novels. I started reading them young and I think they convinced me that I and everyone I knew was eventually going to be poisoned to death or, alternatively, accused of poisoning someone to death.☠️🕵️🧐 She made me love mystery novels! I’ve started listening to her works on audiobooks and they’re still fun—overly convoluted and chock-full of dated red herrings—but fun!

6. The Amelia Peabody series by Elizabeth Peters. 💖💖💖💖💖 I love these books so much. I stumbled upon the first one just browsing in the library as an adult, and I read the series as quickly as possible. They’re fantastic, and some of the best first-person, unreliable narrator books I’ve ever read. They’re funny and full of adventure because Amelia and her family are Egyptologists in Victorian times. The later ones don’t hold up quite as well because of one relationship I will never like, but they’re still better than most other mysteries. The author was an Egyptologist so she gets all that right. The audiobooks with Barbara Rosenblat are amazing—she is fantastic!

7. Die for Love by Elizabeth Peters. 💀💖 Her standalone novels are definitely dated, but still more fun and entertaining than most other authors. I just love her style of writing, and she crafts characters that make me care because they feel like fully realized people. This one is in another of her series featuring Jacqueline Kirby who might be a stand-in for the author, but as I approach middle-age, I appreciate her a lot more. 🤣 This one pokes gentle fun at the romance novel industry—not the novels because the author literally wrote romance novels under another name—but the publishing industry as a whole. I have no idea if things have improved, but I hope so.

8. The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.🐢🐘❣️❣️❣️ I can’t even pick out my favorites, or the ones who’ve influenced me the most, because they all have. Finding Terry Pratchett’s works changed my life, and specifically, changed my ideas about writing and storytelling. I could talk forever about everything I love about his writing--because even the books I don’t love the most still have made me think and analyze things about life and myself--but I won’t. Just go read them. If anyone wants a specific recommendation, hit me up. There are different sagas within the series, and you can start with one of them.

9. One for the Money by Janet Evanovich was really interesting to me because her writing style is so spare and her characters are complete caricatures, but it worked for, like, five or six fun books. By the time I found her books, I was in my 20s and analyzing writing styles, and I still don’t want to write like her, but it’s okay for a really quick, action-packed read.

10. The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. The first four books are incredible. The best fantasy I’ve ever read, and I will fight about this.😂🤣 I was introduced to them in college, and I read those 7 or 8 available, but especially the first four over and over. I loved his writing style, I was in awe of his world-building abilities, I adored his characters because even the ones I loathed felt like real people. I waited for years to read the final three, and I’m sorry and all apologies to Brandon Sanderson fans, but I was majorly, extremely disappointed. The change in style, the huge changes in characters, all of it was too much. I only read them once, cried a lot at the fate of some of my favorites, and was done. 😢

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

Lindsey I have work tomorrow and I also have book club but I haven't finished (or started) reading a book for it. Also I need to bring a snack. Help

read a picture book and find an Interesting Angle or Invoke Nostalgia claims. if you’re religious then boy oh boy do I have a book for you (I don’t actually but generally there is one involved that you may know). do what my friend did in high school and make up a book entirely and claim you found it in your great aunt’s attic and think it may have been self published so they’ll never be able to prove its existence (it worked. they got top marks on the English essay it was needed for). play an audiobook overnight while you sleep as an ‘experiment’ to see if any of it sticks and report your findings. read a famous poem online and say you wanted to branch out into other text forms besides novels and these are your thoughts. ask your coworker to tell you a story and report back to the group about what their dog did last night (or whatever it may be). get a concussion and say you forgot what you read sorry (I did this in uni but it was actually the truth and it wasn’t on purpose). lie and say you’re sick and skip work. lie and say you’re sick and skip book club. read a meme comic. exaggerate what you read. extremely.

alternatively you could like tell the truth I guess idk some people are into that and I GUESS people are nearly always understanding when you say you got too busy and really there’s no consequence at all but idk I lie too much for that I think

anyway for the snack I’m thinking an entire roast chicken from the supermarket or some maccas or supermarket cake or a tin of baked beans (maybe two if it is a large group) or rocks. like actual rocks. if you don’t like them. I don’t know why you wouldn’t but all options are being laid on the table here

anyway I’m sure it’ll all go fine, don’t stress it, it happens, you got this xx

[sometimesrosy]

the criticism for the lotr movies always amuses me somewhat because the idea of sitting through any film (even with the power of a mighty remote control) that is longer than the extended editions of Lotr (12ish hours) is a really daunting prospect, I have only read the books for LOTR once in 2014 and only now am i listening to the dramatized audiobooks of them I found on iTunes which is naturally an abridged version... and with the lotr movies considering how much time and effort put in for everything and yes its not perfect character beats where missed and characters were neglected (okay who actually likes Tom Bombadil as a character? I remember starting to skim his section which is something I don't do the first time I read a book) but it is something you can see is a passion project for the people who worked on it, why else would they hunt down John Howe and Allan Lee to get them to work on the concept art (apparently to hunt one of the two down they hijacked the postal service and put in a letter asking them if they want to work on the film... but idk its been a while since I watched the BTS on the extended editions of LOTR)

I think LOTR is almost a holy book to some people. I can't tell you how much grief I got, as a fantasy fan and huge reader, for not reading LOTR. I honestly didn't read it until I saw the first movie and I got to know the characters, because I always felt that the book didn't allow me in to the story. It's like it was written in male and it was not for me. Once I met the characters through the movie and understood a little about the world (which I already was comfortable with because contemporary fantasy is BUILT on LOTR so I wasn't really missing anything. I'd read lots of copycats) then I was able to read the books and treat them more like an academic text. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed the index with all the "facts" of these fictional people-- sometimes more than the story.

A lot of fans of the original texts-- no matter the book we're talking about-- hate the adaptations. I think often it's because it doesn't match up with what's in their heads. But it's NEVER going to match their own interpretation. That's the point. To see someone ELSE'S interpretation. To see how they used the material and what they emphasized, what they passed over, what they changed, what they kept the same. It's ALWAYS going to change when it shifts to a new medium. Movies will NEVER match the books. Let go of the idea that it should. It won't. It's something new now.

Maybe book fans didn't study or read, say, plays. Because for me, reading and watching plays was part of my education, formal and informal. I mean I was raised on West Side Story, and knew it was an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. And then in school, studying Shakespeare-- who is adapted time and time again, and classical greek plays and also more contemporary plays. I also spent a little time in the theater and with actors, and watching them come up with new ways to play roles was wonderful in itself. So like, I don't consider books to be holy texts. Even a play, written for the stage, isn't a holy text. Even the most honored of playwrights gets his plays turned into cartoon lions.

I personally LOVE to see adaptations of texts. No matter what the original text. Make them puerto rican and set them in Hell's Kitchen? Dude, when you're a jet you're a jet all the way. Or miami in the 90s? Mercutio you gorgeous thing, flame away. Like. Yes. Let me see the creativity. The new interpretations. New settings. One of my favorite thing about teaching Shakespeare is to have the kids compare the play to the different adaptations and it's great. Like, which Hamlet is best? Mel Gibson or Kenneth Branagh. I was actually surprised to see my class was split 50/50. Some liked the more literary Branagh version, some liked the more emotional Gibson. No one liked the Olivier version because we had moved too far from the acting and film conventions of that time. It no longer FIT our culture.

So like I love to see different people and different eras try to do different adaptations. Like someone posted about doing The Hunger Games as a tv show??? I would LOVE that. Why does one movie become the definitive version?

If we can have a billion and one Batmans (Batmen?) then why can't we have new Katnisses? Or Aragorns. I love new versions, even if they don't match my imagination.

Adaptations are new content. They become their own text. Just like with fanfiction. Adaptations really ARE fanfiction. But they pay the original content creator. It's awesome. I love it.

More fiction. More adaptations. More inpiration. Yum.

[rigelmejo]

6/28 I DID A LOT

WOOH

WOOH

I talked in chinese today! For around a half hour!! AHHHHHHHH

ANYWAY

AHHHHHHH

IM SO HAPPY I WAS UNDERSTANDABLE AHHGGHGSIUSJAJEJDJEEJIE

So first of all I practiced with Google translate today beforehand (lol yes machine translate isn’t perfect). I clicked the app, clicked transcribe, spoke in chinese then saw if the English translation it was producing was close enough to what I was trying to mean to say. (Also I learned chinese transcribe will need to process for a few moments if you play Chinese audio like from a podcast because at first it will give you a sucky transcription lol and then correct itself). Anyway so I did that and quickly learned: Google translate WILL fucking think I am speaking sentences when I’ve only said a couple words of my sentence because I pause “too long” so when I tried thinking of tones or grammar I spoke too fucking slow for the app so BAM I had to speak faster for the app just to comprehend me. So I did not practice Thinking about how the fuck to say things right much, just how to recall words on a fucking speed time limit lol. So uh that was an experience. I’ll definitely say that my 学习普通话 app is way better for me actually practicing pronunciation with any success, because Google just will NOT tolerate me speaking slowly goddamn.

Anyway so then tonight I spoke with my language partner. Well

WELL

good news: I was understood, I was told I sound pretty standard and they can tell I maybe imitate some peoples phrases and words from shows I watch (which in this case is a compliment since they said weeks ago when I asked how they improved their standard mandarin accent for a speech competition that’s what They did and the kind of shadowing they suggested I try doing more for accent work).

My grammar and word choice was understandable (I KNOW I wasn’t perfect and there were fucking mistakes Especially just notable spots where I forgot common words and tried to talk Circles around those words to describe them since I know Enough words to kind of “explain around” and come up with a more word description of a simple word I forgot sometimes but fuck is it probably awkward to listen to. Like I forgot “back then/at that time” so I said “the time when I was in high school” or “in high school I..” just because I couldn’t say “that time” on the spot, also fucking I forgot how to say “also” and “or” in certain ways and just had to figure out a different way to make my point like “this is like that” or “not the same” ToT).

Anyway regardless it’s a real big accomplishment to me. Reasons being: 1. I’ve never talked in chinese that long straight or to someone else communicating, or telling stories about my life and asking questions and actually testing my fucking communication abilities past small talk. Even talking alone to myself it’s just phrases or small situations where if I forget a word I just stop, so this was huge for me. 2. I did not have time to think about tones period while talking today with my language partner so like being comprehensible is!!!! GREAT. Considering I tried speaking to a language partner simple common word tone pair examples or very simple small talk at 5 months into learning and remember being incomprehensible like 50% of the time. Versus me now a little under 2 years in so being able to simply not be constantly thinking about tones and still know I might be understood (and in this specific case was understood) is nice to know. 3. I did better at winging vocabulary and talking my way around words I didn’t know than i thought I could. 4. REALLY simply tone and grammar being comprehensible is blowing my mind on its own - I know there were many mistakes (I personally could hear my 3rd tone not always sounding right to my own ear, and know I heard a few grammar mistakes I heard after I’d made my point lol). But just being comprehensible enough for someone understand my points even if I made those mistakes was really cool. 5. I’m hoping this means all the things I’ve been doing lately: the Listening Reading, the watching shows with English subs this month while repeating some of the Chinese lines to myself, listening to audiobooks and repeating many of the lines to myself, and the weekly language exchange I’ve been doing, have all been helping to some degree. Improving production skills is not something I’ve tried studying before and so basically all that I’m doing is flailing around trying stuff and hoping something is useful. It’s nice to see something must be if I’ve managed this.

Anyway it was just very very cool to be understandable. ;-; At this time last year I was absolutely assuming it would take years to get even a little understandable. Also for now idk this proved to me to maybe just stick to shadowing for a while and Not specifically thinking of tones While actively speaking. For a while I thought of them actively which made me clearer and I think was important and helped, at this point currently I think sometimes i overthink and trying to speak from memory/more shadowing practice might help it become a bit more automatic? And then I can go back to some corrective work where I’m messing up specifically or haven’t internalized certain words/phrases tones maybe.

—

IN OTHER NEWS

today I ALSO played 4 hours of Kingdom Hearts II in Japanese WHICH WAS AN EXPERIENCE

AN EXPERIENCE IVE NEVER HAD BEFORE LIKE FUCKING THIS

So 1. EONS easier than last time I studied Japanese. For context at 2-2.5 years into studying Japanese I played the opening of KH2. I remember it was brutal, I used my phone constantly to look up words, but I got through like the opening portion to the first save point after the haunted mansion (so like is that day 2? Basically what’s usually .5-1 hour of play or less that took me a few hours back then). It was doable, kinda brutal, but also I have kh2 near to my heart so I could play it without reading when I felt drained. Now?? I had over a year break from Japanese study (maybe 2-3 years break idk). I reviewed Japanese in I think March-April 2021 this year. April/May to June (now) I’ve been studying some new material. The biggest new material being some more Nukemarine memrise decks, and Clozemaster as of this month. So like... this Eons of improvement is after a long ass gap of no study, a cram review, and some just beyond last-times-progress kind of new study. It is a HUGE difference to me in how it feels.

I did not use a dictionary at all this time. I did not play slow either, I read at a speed much more bearable, I comprehended most sentences totally (understanding words because of a mix of knowing most words, knowing the context for the words since I know KH2 WELL, knowing Hanzi from chinese, and thanks to Clozemaster of all things feeling a lot better/quicker with Japanese grammar comprehension), and a few sentences I knew the overall gist because of recognizing the Hanzi (tho they were being used in words that aren’t similar to Chinese), the grammar overall (the rough intention of the sentence), and knowing KH2 well enough to remember the main idea of th English sentence. So it was overall a much more pleasant, easygoing experience this time around playing! It was something where I COULD play 50 hours of Japanese KH2 now.

This kind of showed me some things: first that knowing a basis in chinese (for me) makes a huge difference. Kanji now make words easier for me to learn and guess. I can now recognize when some pronunciations are somewhat similar to Chinese words. I can recognize when some kanji are used to mean Different things from Chinese (since I know the English context too). I can also now actually Like and Appreciate that KH2 specifically uses kanji in some speech bubbles and scenes then hiragana for the same words at other times - it gives me a chance to use context to see both versions of the word and learn both the pronunciation and kanji a bit more. Now I have katakana English like words and kanji (in the sense of their similarities to Hanzi) and my basic grammar grasp to rely on to parse sentences which makes all of it much easier. For me chinese was just easier, and that’s now paying off also in making Japanese easier in some ways than it was before.

I also appreciate now why “prior context” and “comprehensible input” are encouraged so much. My effort level is comfortable and NOT draining, so I could’ve kept my playing for hours and I did not need a dictionary for new words because I had TONS of context. Part of this is KH2 being a game I know super well (so even back at year 2 it was doable if draining when no other video game probably would’ve been doable at all). So it makes sense now it would be the first comfortable feeling one. It is VERY comprehensible input for me, especially now with some of the Japanese improvements I’ve made.

Whereas I tried to play crisis core a month ago (doable but DRAINING in part because I knew the game so comprehensible but I didn’t HAVE the game remembered by heart like KH2 so I had to slow down to read everything slowly and figure out words much slower with no prior meaning in my head for many parts), and persona 3 (which was doable but DRAINING in part because I have little prior context compared to cc or KH2 and in part because it has so much reading). Also KH2 is easier to read than cc or persona 3 - kh2 is obviously meant for age 10+ and so the amount of text I’m required to read is shorter, a lot of conversational stuff and not layered (cc had a lot of technical paragraphs of directions for missions and persona is aimed at older teens and has much more like “think about it more long term” conversations which I struggle more to parse). Also just persona 3 has so much dialogue I started speed reading just to get to a save point which felt Draining. Whereas KH2 the reading is comfortable so I don’t read too slow, and so it doesn’t feel as draining since it’s not slow nor do I have to rush at lower comprehension to get through it - I can just read and comprehend everything as much as I can at a reasonably non draining pace.

Also I DO think Clozemaster (so kudos to u app) is actually helping noticeably. I’m doing Clozemaster Japanese by common word tracks (still in the 100 most common words sentences and almost done). I’ve been doing listening mode and then reading sentences after. I can TELL it’s helped me already with the following. I’m doing better at recognizing some grammar structure particles/words/conjugations in various forms and levels of politeness. I now have much less issue telling how to separate sentences into word/grammar functions - it makes everything just much easier to start being able to segment my sentences as I read so I can just pinpoint WHAT parts I know versus don’t know and what their rough function is (and since in KH2 I know the English lines usually it makes it way easier to guess what words mean roughly what English translation). I also read some manga during this past month that’s also helped with this skill. I noticed Clozemaster also is just helping with it a lot since in Clozemaster the politeness level varies and stuff so I’m forced to practice guessing and figuring it out more with Clozemaster sentences over and over. The listening mode has helped because I can tell that some of the most common words I can hear more instinctively now and read aloud at a more normal pace now. I still CLEARLY read over listening when the subtitles in KH2 are there if I don’t know a word, so my listening has HUNDREDS or likely thousands of hours to go (my Chinese is much much better). But I can already notice the sheer fact Clozemaster listening question mode is forcing me to 1 HEAR Japanese more (and I need like what 2000 hours listening) and 2 start recognizing more easily at least recognizing words I’ve learned when I hear them (whereas before I would struggle to hear certain words even if I’d studied just because I’d read-studied a lot but not actually heard much of those words much). Now this all isn’t a huge help with new words in KH2 since I’m learning to read them from the game but my listening isn’t picking them up or Parsing them well. But as far as IN Clozemaster: yes the constant audio word drilling is helping me recognize words by sound which is great since thanks to Chinese kanji recognition is now not intensely difficult, it’s the sound recognition and match up to spelling that’s now the major confusion for me. I mean grammar is also confusing.. and will take years... I do think Clozemaster forcing me to practice interpreting the grammar somewhat with nothing to help me is helping me at least feel less drained by the grammar. I used Clozemaster before for french and chinese at the stage between graded readers and actual native speaker material, and I think for Japanese it’s also Good for this purpose. Clozemaster is good for a lot of immersion-like sentence reading practice, with tools to make it easier like a translation and mostly words you know in each sentence. Making it a bit easier than just diving into the deep end into a random novel. I do think it helps with preparing you for less learner-tailored materials a bit while still being easier than native speaker materials so you can practice without feeling youre drowning.

anyway ahh. WOOH I PLAYED KH2 in japanese today!!! I HAD FUN

gonna do it some more.

kh2 is maybe THE original reason i started trying to learn japanese. its really fun playing it now.

—-

And finally, while I’m at it: I am ALMOST done with the Sundial arc in Guardian Listening Reading wise. I’m on chapter 17. I have like 2 days left so who knows maybe I can manage to finish the sundial arc we’ll see.

What I mostly did this month was Redo L-R chapter 1-12 with a second audiobook, read the novel print version up to chapter 12, read chapter 1-2 in the traditional print version, also read maybe 4 chapters of other random things, listened to audiobook files of stuff overall idk 20+ times while repeating after a lot of lines, did a small amount of Clozemaster chinese (mostly just Radio mode), did 30 min - 1 hour writing or speaking language exchange sessions once a week, and watch a bunch of Chinese shows with English subs this month while repeating after a lot of lines.

As you can tell my reading Amount lowered significantly since the past couple months. However, I think I’ve pushed up my listening amounts a little.

[cat-26]

Oh I adore the Illuminae Files!! That's so interesting about the audiobooks, I didn't even think about how they could translate the stylistic stuff over :0

Yes!! That's also what I thought! There was no way! But turns out the audiobooks are great and just as stylistic and interesting. (I'm gonna use you as an excuse to talk about them more)

(Spoiler warnings if you haven't read the books!)

They have the entire cast, as I said. AIDAN has this creepy background noise, and the voice is all monotone but benevolent? Idk how to describe it but it fits so well, and it's punctuated with sharp computer-like "[ERROR]"s. It's so good.

Also during the video transcripts, you know how the words are censored? Well in the audiobook you can clearly know what cursewords are being censored, they cut the middle of the word only.

And during the fight scenes, they have like a little bit of "space" music in the background, and just the comms overlapping each other with gunshots and things like that. Oh and the death list, which takes up all the pages in the book, is as chilling in the audiobook. The names just go on and on. It makes it so sad and almost hard to listen to. So so chilling.

And like, there's a small difference between radio transmissions, text messages and video transcripts. It's great, such a subble way of helping the reader realize what kind of file they're on (because like, in the physical copy you can see the page, of course, but in the audiobook it's easy to forget the "briefing note", like is it a video? a text conversation? email?)

I just think these audiobooks are masterpieces; so well acted and put together. They're brilliant.

[authorkimberlygrey]

The things you need to start the self publishing thing

This is a day late, doesn’t even follow the how to do the thing format, and my dyslexia is running rampant today so ther’s probably six billion typos and mispellings but fuck it let’s goooooooo

Shit you’ll need before you can even get to the shit you need: 

A complete manuscript

I’m talking multiple drafts here people. Beta readers, self edits, tears, blood sacrifice, the works. Unfortunately, this isn’t 1920, we cannot publish our first drafts. 

I mean, you can but its not gonna go well. 

Money

Like. Lots of money. This shit is Expensive. 

A Plan

Don’t be like me. Don’t just suddenly go “alright let’s publish” one day

Actually lay out a timeline for yourself 

Expect delays 

So Many Delays

Plan for publishing at least like six months in advance you will thank yourself later I promise

Ingramspark vs. Createspace or whatever they call it now. They changed the name the other day I think

I went for ingramspark 

Because 

Fuck amazon

Ingramspark is More Professional 

Everyone else also thinks “fuck amazon”

You’ll be able to sell your book more places this way. 

This one is a p personal decison so look this shit up yourself. 

One you’ve got that shit, you can get this other shit

First things first, hire an editor. There are a shit ton of different editors out there, I’m not listing them all, mostly because I don’t remember them all and a lot of them overlap anyway. The majority of places will let you pick an editing ‘package’ that’ll combine several types. Go with that. 

Alright I’ll list a couple kinds of editor. Just the ones I can remember tho, I’m not looking them up again.

Content Editor-looks over the big picture, the story itself. Fuck that grammar bullshit, this is about lookign for plot holes and character inconsistencies and shit. Basically a beta on steroids, I love these dudes. 

Line Editor-this is what everyone thinks of when they say editor. They do the grammar shit. 

Sensitivity reader-make sure you’re not making a dick of yourself, good thing to have. 

Learn how to Format the book

This one you actually can do yourself, its not like...unattainably difficult, especially if you can get ahold of Microsoft Word. 

The basics are: 

Book Size

8.5x5.5 is pretty much the most common

And that’s the interior pages, the cover itself tends to add a lil bit onto that and so if you go measure a bunch of books you’re gonna get 9x6 or something

Font

12 pt. Times New Roman is the standard

Margins.

I think 1 inch is standard? 

Listen, this shit gets complicated and its been like nine months since I did it, I’ll link you some things at the end so you can get a better idea. 

 Header and Footer

Pro tip: Center all of this shit, that way you don’t have to fuck around with aligning it right on the corners of the page. 

Author name on one page, book name on the other

You can do evens or odds, I don’t think there’s a standard

Page number on every page 

EXCEPT: the first page of a new chapter

Just to make things more difficult, nothing goes on those pages. Because fuck you. 

Widows and Orphans 

Yeah I know “what the fuck does that mean???” 

You know how sometimes you’ll have this one sentence that’s just hogging a whole page? Yeah those 

Or those times that a sentence goes onto the next page all on its own

I’m not sure which of those are widows and which ones are orphans tbh. I mean... I could probably guess but nothing is simple you know? 

There’s some places that’ll tell you to do this manually by changing the line spacing and/or text size of each page? 

Don’t fuckign do that

That’s ludicrous. 

There’s literally a button for it on microsoft word

This is one of those things where the easy solution is actually the one you’re supposed to use. 

Oh yeah, indents

No you can’t just press tab

That would be too easy.

And nothing can be easy, remember? 

0.3/0.5 is the standard I think. 

Also make sure everything is left aligned. 

And the line spacing is usually double spaced? I think? 

I want to say there was a certain number of lines per page that was standard and you’re supposed to fiddle around until you get that. So enjoy. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IGkyMhsr28

https://firstmanuscript.com/proper-manuscript-format/

A Cover

Unless you’re like A Professional don’t do this yourself its way more complicated than you’d think 

Have a Solid Idea of what you want your cover to look like. Just shrugging and going “idk man” isn’t going to help anyone. 

This isn’t just the fun artsy shit either

Figure out where you’re putting the blurb and your author picture and your author bio, which, btw, you gotta write too. I’ll get there. 

Author Bio 

Jenna Morecci did a whole video on this so def look that up cause that’s pretty much the best info I’ve got for you. 

But: 

3-5 sentences

Written in third person

Yes its weird to write about yourself this way, just go with it. 

Embrace your inner “whatever fictional character talks in third person” and go with it

One sentence on your experience with writing whatever this is

One sentence about yourself/shit you like 

And one on something else, I’m not watching the whole video over for this. Just go watch Jenna, you’ll love her.

I don’t think I’ve ever read an author bio and I don’t know anyone else who does either but I guess somebody must so we all have to suffer. 

A Copyright thing

Like. Register your book with the copy right office so that if someone tries to steal it you can tell them to stop. 

Yes this costs money too. Becasue fuck you I guess. 

This sounds really intimidating but honestly you just fill out paperwork and while that stresses me personally out beyond rationality its not really that bad. 

Don’t forget to add the copyright page in your book too, there’s a thing on the format for it, lemme look 

Here ya go: 

https://blog.reedsy.com/copyright-page/

An ISBN

Most people upon reading this immeditaely went “what the fuck is an ISBN?”

If you didn’t then good job you’re more prepared than I was. Good on you. 

An ISBN is like an identifying number for your book. 

Actually, its an identifying number for specifically this format of your book. If you’re planning on doing a paperback and an ebook or a hardcover or an audiobook or whatever, you need to get an ISBN for Every Format of it

You can buy ISBNs ((in the US at least, I don’t know about other countries sorry)) on Bowker.com 

Why did they name it that? 

I don’t know

You would think that they’d maybe pick a more...I don’t know, relevant name for their site? 

Listen, a fact of publishing a book is that everyone involved has conspired to make is as frustrating as humanly possible. You’re just going to have to accept that. 

Why is their whole site mascot a bird? 

Also don’t know. They’re having a good time with it I guess.

Maybe something to do with Bowker sounding like bough?

Also a barcode! 

Yeah, didn’t think you’d have to buy that did you? 

Neither did I but here we are

Actually you don’t have to buy one if you use ingramspark, they’ll give you one when you use their cover template thing apparently. 

Know what price you want to sell the book for

Even in self publishing, the place you’re going through is gonna want a piece of the pie. Enjoy that. 

Ingramspark has a calculator for that actually, its p cool

You can stick the price in the barcode 

Idk if that relevant but that’s a thing you can do?

uhh…..I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting something….

You might want to get an author website set up? 

You should probably have that before now but if youre doing this Chaos Style (™) like I did then you probably want it up before you publish so you can put it on the book somewhere. 

People you need to hire: 

Editor

Cover Designer

Possibly a formatting person if you decide fuck that shit

 Which. Understandable

Shit you need to get a handle on

Formatting

 If you decide fuck yourself

 Which. Understandable

Copyright

Price

ISBN 

OH yeah. 

Marketing Junk 

You honeslty need to have a handle on this shit Waaaaaaayyyy the fuck in the future. If you’re only thinking about it like...now its probably not great. 

The Chaos Method is not generally a good approach

See: Ascendant’s release was essentially a flop and even tho people who read the book love the book I’m still struggling to get people to read the book

Psst read the book its great I promise

Your book release is like. The Biggest Chance for marketing shit 

Get on top of that junk

Giveaways

Posts about it 

Just

Everything all the time everywhere

You definitely need a schedule for this 

Like seriously

Make a plan. 

That’s pretty much it I think. I mean...look in other places too because like I said earlier, its been months since I did this and when I did do it it was the Chaos Method of me just going “I’m gonna publish now” and Doing That. 

Get a plan, believe in yourself. Get a publishing mentor

Someone who’s done this shit before and can give you some encouragement and direction. 

It probably shouldn’t be me but I guess if you need help I’m game to do what I can. 

Also be prepared to like. Crash, mentally, So Hard. Its terrible. See my older post for all the shitty shit about publishing this way.

[evasjacks]

Shadow and Bone liveshow Summary

Alright peeps, if ya missed it, or you’re too damn lazy to watch the full thing, here are some of the Top-Tier things that happened:

Archie was a fucking King. He was smiley, and supportive, and constantly worried about his washing machine. He’s Mal if Mal was the most adorable human being on the planet.

Ben was too damn sweet to be the Darkling. He got on and started singing a bit, his voice is pretty good, and now I’m wondering if maybe the S&B theme song could be... sung by him? Idk. Basically even if you weren’t a Darkling stanny, you will be it isn’t by choice, not with that smile.

FREDDY is so cuTe. But also like I can see him being ruthless Kaz, I think its the eyebrows lmao. Favorite part of the books? “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason.”

Kit said Freddy Carter was amazing because “I mean he’s Freddy Carter, what else can I say?” and then claimed Freddy texted and told him to douse us with Freddy compliments. Basically, we got the bEST Jesper/Kaz friendship one could ask for. Also, when he came to leave? Kit was the only one who said NMNF and I died hearing it.

Danielle is Scottish (WHY DID NO ONE WARN ME) and she’s such a sweetheart! She loves waffles. This is important. She also loves Amita, and the two are close in a “I-miss-touching-your-biceps” type of way. WIN. She also talked about KOS and said “finally got rid of that Matthias dead weight” and I just--

Cal is way too American to be on the show lol, he said he relates a lot to Matthias in his own personal life, tho he didn’t mention how, but he talked about how great it was to play Matthias and all. It was great, I liked him.

Luke (David) and Simon (Ivan) came on for a bit, they were super nice and all

Sujaya said she LOVES Nikolai, so Zoyalai for the wiN guys!!

Amita was adorable, she had to do so much training for S&B, and then showed off her biceps to Archie and Dani, also she’s read Six of Crows 6 times + listened to the audiobooks because she’s a queen. Says she loved Inej because “she only speaks when necessary, and what she says is valuable.”

Jessie is the Sun Queen in all her rights, and I’m actually shipping Malina now because the two of them are just precious! Again, not much was said, but it was so nice seeing her!

[dezmondmyles]

haha ok i got tagged by @taruyison ilu <3

alright cool lets do this

Would You Rather - Fanfic Version

Do you prefer friends to lovers or enemies to lovers? Aw man, do I gotta choose? I really love both, but there’s something a little more mmm, intimate, about enemies to lovers.

Would you rather be forced to watch a terrible movie adaptation of your favorite fanfic or an amazing adaptation of your least favorite fanfic? "terrible” and “amazing” are very subjective, and I love trashy movies/games that are fun to watch/play so that’s kinda my attitude with fanfics haha.

Would you rather read fanfic chapters backwards or read them as parsed from google translate? Backwards? I guess? If I have to translates a fic, uhh, I just Don’t lmao.

Would you rather consume every fanfic as an audiobook read by a monotone narrator or have to read on a tiny printed piece of papers written in yellow highlighter? If I had to choose, probably the audiobook. My eyes have trouble reading black text on white background sometimes as it is.

Would you rather get a tattoo on your body of every fanfic title you read or never read fanfic again? Never read fanfic again ahahaha. I’ve read some trashy fanfic just based on the equally dubious title before.

Do you prefer vampire au or werewolf au? If you know anything about me as a person.... Well you know that answer. And if you don’t, it’s uh, werewolf.  

Would you rather get sold to a boy band or be stuck in a time loop with your love interest? Time loop I guess? I never listened to 1D.

Would you rather kill your favorite character or marry your least favorite character? What if my favorite character is already dead?? Also what’s stopping me from marrying my least, killing them, and cashing out on the life insurance??

Would you rather meet your love interest in a coffee shop au or college au? My big brain take is to combine both- The local coffee shop near campus. Boom.

Would you rather have your fic history leaked or never read another fanfic again? Again, I’ll just never read again lmaaaao.

Would you rather be able to read amazing fanfiction but it always has an mpreg plot twist or only read bad fanfiction for the rest of your life? I uh, wrote?? Some of the mpreg in a reasonable semi-thought out fashion?? Also I’ve already spent most of my reading subjectively bad fanfic so like, idk.

Would you rather gay ships or straight ships? I can do both?? Also are we talking gay-gay ships or “these two are in a samesies relationship but theyre bi” ship? cause i can do that too.

Would you rather ship a rarepair with almost no content or a pair with lots of content but almost all of it is cracky nightmare smut? Honey I’m already in rarepair hell don’t even talk to me lmfao.

Would you rather see your otp shatter years after their happily ever after or never have the happily ever after happen in the first place? I mean, both is already like, the Thing with them anyway lmfao. I fuck hard with bittersweet endings all the same.

Would you rather read a poorly written but complete fanfic or a literary masterpiece last updated june 2013? I mean I do both. The former esp if the content is compelling enough for me to continue reading just to see how much more terrible it can get.

Would you rather read SSSS++++ tier smut with almost 11k words or 70k words worth of fluff? I can do both, the fluff will probably make me cry though in the end lmao you don’t get that many words of fluff without something sad in there

Would you rather read only alternate universe fanfics or only canon fanfics? My bread and butter is AU by virtue of being a crossover shipper. No matter how close to canon I get with either, it’s still ultimately AU. Plus, canon is dumb af anyway for both so i’m doing everyone a favor lmao.

Would you rather introduce fanfics to your normie friend with an ongoing smut fic with great writing or a complete fluff fic with terrible writing? Depends on the normie. I have non-fandom friends who enjoy writing and reading as much as I do, and I feel like that a well written smut and fluff fic would be more compelling to them, if not just to analyze the characters.

Would you rather read your notp with all your favorite tropes and perfect characterization or your otp with tropes you despise and inconsistent characterization? I think I’d pick the notp honestly. Listen, anything can become an otp with the right convincing in my book. Though, for most of my notps, they employ a lot of similar annoying tropes I hate seeing in most of my otps so like, can’t win them all.

Would you rather have a major character death or have a bed sharing scene but it’s a ship you hate? Major Character Death in the bed they were sharing.

Would you rather every fanfic includes Jackson Wang or every fanfic includes at least one nsfw moment? dunno who that is so I guess one nsfw moment it is.

Would you rather read a fanfic that has constant grammar and spelling mistakes or one that the characters are wildly different than canon? Have you read any of my fics I’m the worst speller/grammarererrr ever. However, I can take “wildly different” to a certain point in the case of many AUs where you kinda have to fudge things a little for the sake of your setting.

Would you rather read the most absolutely messed up dead dove with your most wholesome ship or subject yourself to 100,000 words of your notp all written in a solid block with no punctuation and horrible grammar? Dead Dove, no contest.

Would you rather have the power to read every fanfic in existence or have the power to make any ship canon? Any ship canon. I literally have no interest in read every single fanfic ever.

Would you rather read a cringy 70 chapter harry styles mafia au or a high school kpop au y/n fic with horrible grammar? At least I know who Harry Styles is lmfao.

Would you rather have your otp get together in canon but one of them dies in a tragic way or all members of your otp survive but get together with other people? They’re already dead in their respective canons so it can’t get worse from here right?

Would you rather accidentally send your boss a super detailed smut fic or read a super detailed smut fic about your boss? I think the latter because I would rather I lose respect for my boss than the other way around lol.

Would you rather read smut fanfic aloud to your parents or submit smut fanfic to the employer of your dream job? Like taru asked, what is the context. I think the latter though if it was allowed and it’s explicitly what they wanted.

Would you rather pine after an oblivious love interest or be the oblivious love interest pined after? I’m both irl (probably lmao)

Would you rather hanahaki disease or your soulmate’s first words to you tattooed on your body (and they’re really stupid)? I had to look up what hanahaki was lol, so I guess soulmate’s first words. And I mean, how much more stupid would mine be anyway?

Would you rather be an alpha, beta, or omega in omegaverse? None, I hate omegaverse with a passion. You can’t dress it up in any form possible to make me enjoy it. Idc what character(s) is/are in it, it bugs the fuck out of me.

Would you rather read a fanfic where the characters turn into furries or a fanfic where the characters all get pregnant? I mean, out of morbid curiosity, I’d wanna read both?? I’d hate it but I’d attempt to read it at least once?

Would you rather be able to resurrect dead fics or have the power to create a plethora of new fics effortlessly? New fics, so long as they’re getting completed on top of that ahaha.

whoo, that was fun! it’s been a while since i’ve done one of these memes. thanks for the tag, taru!

ok so i guess i’ll tag in return: @cooldadmondmiles @theladyisapirate and @seventhstrife

have fun friendos!

[carbootsoul]

things to do in quarantine!

i hadn’t seen a list like this yet and i thought that was kind of odd. we’re all stuck inside the house for who knows how long, which means (as my girlfriend is stressing) we are all going to have to get some fucking hobbies. this list is a bit long so:

-friendship bracelets! embroidery thread works best (i have a lot left over from my brief embroidery stint when i was younger) but i think you could do it with other kinds of string! you can find a lot of patterns here, and they’re all free! my favorites are 1, 2, and 3

-amigurumi, which is making stuffed animals out of crocheting. this doesn’t work great if you don’t have any crochet hooks, but if you’re living with your parents or with any crafty friend, they’re likely to have some. this website has a ton of patterns (i’ve linked the free ones, but they have even more for ~4/5 dollars). personally, i’m really excited abt this plant.

-itch.io games. itch.io has TONS of free games, as long as you have a computer that can handle like, stardew valley, you’ll be able to find something that works. my favorites are butterfly soup, the bird museum, and cheeky chooks, but just browsing through any tag will give you so many things to play. also, if you’re not up for downloading stuff, not only does itch.io have browser games, but you can always come back to coolmathgames.com

-draw some stuff!! on paper with a pencil (a novel idea, i know). here are some idea generators! alternatively, on your computer/tablet. pixilart is a free to use, online pixel art tool, and aseprite is a downloadable tool. aseprite is the best out there, but it’s $15 if you can’t compile it yourself. finally, krtita is an open source alternative to photoshop that works pretty well, imho.

-make a game. i know you can do it. a lot of these game makers aren’t super difficult to use, but require you to sink a few hours into them to figure out what’s going on. perfect for quarentine! whether you’re making a visual novel, a text adventure, a retro gameboy ROM, or just a quiz, it’s a way to kill time and there’s nothing more satisfying than Making Something. 

-start working out- i know it’s intimidating, but you don’t know how much exercise you get just by walking around until you are stagnant in your bed all day. here’s an illustrated guide for workouts designed for transmasc people (i use this!), and here’s an article about working out without equipment. please try to do something. you will feel so much less greasy, even if all you do is stretch and walk around a bit before showering. 

-bake some things! bread is yummy and a classic but unless you’re used to it, it probably won’t work out how you want it to. that doesn’t stop me from trying tho! kneading and mixing are both good ways to get your stress out. i’ve been compulsively making snickerdoodles, too. @butchhousewife has almost a whole blog full of vegetarian recipes that you can browse through.

-waste your time with phone games, too. games aren’t limited to computers and consoles! i bet you thought phone games were just mindless things you did to kill time. well, you thought RIGHT but ALSO WRONG. my favorites are adorable home, seabeard, good pizza great pizza, and dadish. also, download an nds (i use this one. i think it’s like $7 but you can play ace attorney and animal crossing. think of how much those would cost normally) and a gameboy emulator while you’re at it and nab some ROMS. remember, it’s not piracy because these games aren’t available anymore and also fuck capitalism. 

-write fanfiction. idc if you write all the time of if it’s been years or if you’re a “shit writer” i literally Do Not Care. find something a concept you love (50s diners. sitting on roofs and stargazing. lazy mornings with a girl you love.) and write abt the characters you love. post it on AO3 because lets be honest, wattpad is a biiit trash. 

-the useless web. 

-try to stay connected with your friends! this might seem dumb but believe me, we’re social creatures. these next few weeks without any touch are going to SUCK. do what it takes. snap them. facetime. even just a good morning text. maybe get more creative! watch movies together with kast (the rabbit replacement? idk tell me how it works) and videos with rave, play some co-op stardew valley, or new horizons when it comes out. without is an app for long-distance couples, but now ALL couples are long-distance because you can’t leave your house! also whatever the fuck touchroom is. it seems cute. 

-practice all that self-care you never had the time for. clean your room (@unfuckyourhabitat has some tips here). take a bath (or, if you don’t have a bath, sit on the floor of your shower and pretend you are anywhere else). masturbate. online underwear window shop (meundies, adoreme, and aeire are some of my favs) just for the excuse to look at happy women in fancy bras. make yourself some kind of meal and drink water. sit naked in front of a mirror and compliment what you see (or work up to that! you’ve got time).  remember that these weeks will be hard. do your best.

-read!. if you’ve got a stockpile of books-i-need-to-read GREAT. read them. otherwise, read this lesbian erotica that is inexplicably also a cosmopolitan article, or this article about lesbians and also hands. or ebooks on any of these free book websites. or fanfiction (again, linking ao3 because wattpad embodies all the worst parts of my life). if audio is more your thing, this is an article with links to free audiobooks. or try podcasts! i’m a huge proponent of the gay ones. try wtnv, the penumbra podcast, the magnus archives, and wolf 359.

-bonus! likely you will have things you need to do while quarentined, whether it’s homework, things for work, or just brushing your teeth and showering. habitica is a free productivity game that rewards you for finishing those tasks! it’s super cute and it works.